#And I'll be forever grateful for it and for his existence as a whole

[adamnablelittledevil]

I'm mostly talking about Armand and Lestat recently because I'm catching up on the books and TVC Louis so far has been lacking. But don't get me wrong, I LOVE show Louis. It's even harder to fall for book Louis because Jacob set the bat way too damn fucking high. He is 80%, if not the *whole* reason why Louis is so compelling to me.

[redbullgirly]

HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

view all 18,349 comments

user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, landonorris, isahernaez and 639,910 others

tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable ����❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others

lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

liked by the author

oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by haileybieber, martagarcialopez19, mercedesamgf1 and 834,981 others

tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

view all 2,013 comments

lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by naomischiff, gigihadid, susie_wolff, riabish and 2,452,906 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

view all 31,274 comments

yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

twitter

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[brightlypainted]

I went completely bananas and wrote a full analysis of Joker Out and JO fandom stuff and situation... idk

Hi baby boos!

I’ve seen some confusion regarding JO’s latest announcements and social media activity (or lack thereof) so I've tried to analyze the current situation with a critical eye 🤓

I don't use Tumblr much so you're probably more familiar with my Twitter but I got suggested to post this here for easier reading (and... better audience in general 👀)

Long rant under the cut:

Before I begin I must point out that these are my opinions and theories. I have no idea how JO’s communication and management is being organized right now, I’m just making assumptions based on my perception as a fan 🤷‍♀️

(also I’m a communication graduate but my studies and current job cover this sector only tangentially so I may not know how some/most of this works…)

Let’s start with comparing last year’s situation to the current one: one year ago the boys were riding high on the wave of enthusiasm, having had a successful ESC (despite the ending placement) and having gained a lot of attention as fan favorite competitors ✨

A very high % of the growing fanbase, esp the international one, was coming directly or tangentially through ESC and how do you maintain that attention once the contest is over? you increase your social media presence and you start planning international concerts. which they did!

This constant exposure to content made the fandom flourish: we were all witnessing how easily people from everywhere could join and already feel at the very center of attention, both because JO’s communication was being very active and successful and also thanks to fanmade organizations like JokerOutSubs, group chats, old time Slovenian fans sharing juicy pre-ESC content, etc. I'll be grateful forever

We had a past year that could be divided into 2 halves in terms of communication: it all went extremely well until more or less the end of 2023 (last tour dates in Spain) and then started gradually becoming very odd and chaotic all through 2024 until last month’s complete draught

We know that they mostly tend to manage their online presence on their own, so ofc during breaks and during very busy times is harder for them to find good content to share. They had also been very clear about needing time off their phones all through the London era and the album recording in Hamburg, so that didn’t come as a surprise for fans 🤷‍♀️

But having very sensible, personal reasons to quit/decrease social media presence has unfortunately no meaning in communication, where the laws are very simple: once you stop sharing, you stop existing

I don’t want to criticize their choices, because they are entitled to their privacy and offline time. I’m just pointing out that this very long, hiccup-y period probably could have been avoided with better management and with the presence of a smm/pre-planned sm communication 🙃

It also unfortunately happened concurrently to the new ESC season, which was bound to “organically” erode part of the fandom anyway, and to an EU tour that, although successful, has still highlighted a lazy/bad management and yet again a communication that made little to no sense at times (es. the whole campaign that subtly asked people to go to more than one concert, which clearly made fans with less financial and logistical possibilities feel ‘lacking’ and ‘inferior’) 🙄

In their defense, the tour was to establish a fanbase more than gaining more fans and exposure, so pushing for getting more of a loyal than an occasional fanbase wasn’t completely wrong an idea… it just backfired

And it did because the greatest part of their international fanbase is made of very young people who aren’t financially independent and whose interests are bound to be fleeting and shifting ESPECIALLY when they aren’t constantly met with content production/consumption

Let’s also not forget that having completely shifted their attention to international waters at the expense of the Slovenian/regional fanbase has been very risky. We still can’t tell if the gamble was successful or not

It’s never a good idea to ignore/neglect your hardcore supporters, the very people that helped you raise to your current standards. it’s true they are the most loyal, but they are also very easily the ones that could feel more betrayed

I also think it’s very risky trying to shift the fans’ content consumption out of social media and into a (controlled, easier to manage, ofc) site like Openstage for two main reasons: as said before, complete disappearance from socials means communicational suicide and until now, the “dedicated content” directed toward fans on the site has been… too bland and generic (sorry)(they can learn how to improve that)

Openstage has other very interesting uses tho, firstly the early access to ticket sales and secondly the tracking of international fan presence, which was pretty clearly the main goal and reason why they opened the site in the first place... so it’s not ex ante a bad communication choice, just (until now) one that has yet to show its potential and usefulness

So what now? I think it’s time they make a few considerations and sensible choices to maintain what’s currently the status quo and in order to tackle festival season in the best way

They need to keep their international presence by opening their fanbase to a new kind of fans: festivals bring exposure to bands from a very specific type of fanbase, more interested in music than in contents. If they manage to capture the interest of Sziget people, for example, they could gather a new type of international fanbase less interested in the “social media” content consumption and more in the “I wanna see these guys play again, somewhere else, maybe a show of their own” way

(which, to be completely fair, could be the best choice to cure their current crazy/shifting/confusing fanbase state, giving them more peace of mind, more privacy and a more “normal” rock band experience than the one they had in the past year… that we can all agree has been pretty bad at times)

I personally think this summer season must go in the quantity direction (gaining more new fans) and at the same time in the quality direction (less shows, bigger stages) and this is why some of you are disappointed in seeing so little shows compared to last year or to the SYS tour... I get it

Many of us, me included, won’t be seeing JO live for the whole summer season, and I’m aware that is disappointing, but I hope this analysis has helped you put things into perspective and consider maybe one of the possible reasons why this next phase for Joker Out is being organized this way

I’m still hoping they’ll find a good compromise with their social media communication, because right now I really feel that being the main issue with the gradual but constant drop in traction (please boys hire a smm. i adore jan’s sad edits and the unhinged video and stories like the next person but serious work has to be done too)

Ending the rant on a note of hope: I wish to see you all enjoy the summer and the content to come and I hope for the boys to have a successful, fun season full of new experiences, new music, new people, fresh ideas for the future. I’m honestly very excited for what’s to come! 🌻

[charliar]

Hi @thelaurenshippen and @thebrightsessions !!

I first started listening to "The Bright Sessions" in 2020. During lockdown I got really into audio dramas and after it's been sitting on my list for some time I decided to finally start it. And I haven't stopped listening to it since. "The Bright Sessions" became my favorite podcast ever and I couldn't even tell how many times I listened to it all. It got a special part in my heart.

I didn't like Oliver at first. Didn't pay much attention to him in "The Am Archives" and honestly I was kinda annoyed when he showed up in "The College Tapes". That was until episode 714. When I heard him say "Can you stay?" I couldn't stop thinking about it for the whole next day. In the following week I had this episode on loop. Right now, I can basically quote it all the way through. These three words completely changed my view on Oliver and from that point on he became one of my favorite characters ever, in all kinds of media. Him and Mark got me back into reading, as well, as writing fanfiction which I am so utterly grateful because since lockdown I struggled a lot with reading and writing. I've got absolutely obsessed with Mark and Oliver to the point everyone around me knows who they are. It's been years since I got so attached to a character or a ship and I'm so happy it happened to be them.

It's my birthday this week. Last year I decided that I'm going to get my next tattoo as a gift to myself and when I was talking with my sister about my future tattoo plans I said I really want to get something related to TBS but I don't really have any idea. So when she suggested a quote I knew exactly what I'm gonna get. So I did. I got three words that had such a impact on my life even though they aren't something you'd expect to do so. This quote means so much to me and I'm so incredibly happy and proud of this tattoo. This podcast means so much to me and I'll forever be grateful that it exists. So thank you Lauren and thank you to the whole cast and crew for creating something so incredible 💜

[denaliwrites]

Make Me Glow

Peter Vincent x Fem!Reader

Summary: Peter always knows just what you need when your period is making you absolutely miserable.

Soundtrack: Heart Attack (Rock Version) by Demi Lovato

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Periods, Cramps. Use of Bitch as a Term of Endearment. Taking medication.

If there was one thing you were grateful for in Peter's penthouse, it was the giant luxury bath he'd insisted on having installed. You didn't typically use it, but sometimes it was just what you needed.

Especially on your period.

You moaned when you made contact with the water, sinking slowly into the delicious heat and watching the tendrils of steam dance as your descent into the water sent ripples across the surface.

You wanted to cry at the near-instant relief you felt as the warmth surrounded you, drastically easing your aches with each passing second. You wished you could stay in the bath forever.

For a few minutes, you simply lay in the water, letting your mind go blissfully blank once your pain was relieved enough that you could take your mind off it.

But that was boring, and you only had so much time before Peter got back, so you grabbed the remote from the shelf behind you and clicked on the TV mounted on the wall in front of you -- that one had been your idea -- and flipped the channels until you settled on an episode of I Love Lucy.

It wasn't your typical choice, but right now you just wanted to pretend real problems didn't exist.

You didn't realize you'd fallen asleep until you were jolted awake by an annoyed voice emanating from somewhere nearby.

"I swear," Peter was saying, and your drowsy eyes finally found him standing in front of the mirror, peeling his false goatee off. "Oh, now she's awake!" he growled, seeing your eyes on him through the mirror. "Missed my whole rant, lazy bitch."

When he saw the hurt look in your eyes, he visibly deflated. "Oh, darling," he sighed, leaving the mirror to kneel at your side. "What's wrong?"

"Period," you said simply with a despondent shrug.

"Oh, dear," he cooed, petting your hair for a moment. His hand dipped into the water, no doubt checking the temperature, before withdrawing it with a low whistle. "Darling, that water is freezing. Let's get you out of there."

You nodded, letting him help you up and out of the tub. He pulled the plug, turned off the TV, and grabbed the towel you'd put in the warmer before you'd gotten into the bath. It was wrapped snugly around your waist with a kiss to the top of your head.

"There you are," he said soothingly. "Let's get you out of here, yeah?" You nodded, and he shepherded you to the bedroom, where you were pushed gently onto the plush duvet.

He could tell that your pain was returning by a strained whimper that escaped your best attempts to withhold it, and by the way you clutched at your belly.

"Oh, darling," he sighed, kissing your head again. "I'll be back, you get settled in."

You nodded, and then he was off again. While he was away, you unwrapped the towel from around yourself and carefully slid under the covers of the bed. They were warm, but you missed the bath. You wished you could go back in.

You'd take another one tomorrow, you decided.

Peter sauntered back into the room holding a glass of water in one hand and a tub of your favorite ice cream in the other. "Water and pills first," he told you, handing off the glass and two Advil into your waiting hands.

Dutifully, you took a sip of the water and downed the pills, then downed the rest of the water in one go.

"Oh, good girl," he praised you, sounding genuinely impressed. He held the ice cream out to you, and you snatched it up eagerly, as well as the spoon he'd placed over the lid.

"Now, do you want to watch a bunch of idiot teens get killed in increasingly terrible ways?" he asked you, settling into the bed behind you. He was over the covers, you realized when you noticed that you couldn't immediately feel his body heat, and that his skin wasn't touching yours.

"That sounds good," you whimpered with a nod.

He put on Friday the 13th, and you happily dug into your ice cream while the two of you watched the movie.

[ladythornofrivia]

Bane in my Bones

Pair: Toji x Reader x Nanami

Warning: Spice is nice. Toxic Drama. Toxic Family Issues. Fluff at the end. Smut included.

A/N: Sorry for not writing this series. I should’ve have done it sooner, but there are times when I feel like I don’t want to do anything at all, and yet I feel guilty about not writing the series that I promised here on my blog MONTHS AGO. I should’ve been better, and that I wish for my love writing will return, but I was afraid my love of writing will never come back, at all. Even if I do wish it, even if I do write, I’m still afraid it won’t return, or that I’ll be forever guilty about this whole ordeal. And I’m so happy that I get to see animated version of Toji Fushiguro in Jujutsu Kaisen!!! Thanks to the animated Toji, I now have the inspiration. Here’s chapter 2–the moment for Toji’s fangirls all been waiting for. And there’s a special guest in this series—so I decided to make as a love triangle. Hope you enjoy.

CHAPTER 2

BETTING ONE'S LIKE IS NO JOKE

Toji hadn't been doing well with his current money on his bank account. Despite having the normalcy of a stable job, he desired for a quicker earnings. His life was at stake, low budget, low upgrade and low treatment from the great Zenin family. Nothing has ever come good from a Zenin clan. Everyone thought they're prestigiously intelligent and exuded with grace and wisdom. If only Toji could see how they truly are.

In the midday, he was making another bet for boat racing, he bet on boat 7, which is his favorite number. Anyone who chose number 4 is stupid. 4 is considered related to the word 'death' and bad luck. No hotels or apartments are contained with the numbers 4.

Duration of the boat race, Toji watched until he grew bored and ordered some salty snacks to eat up his boredom. Nothing was enough. But his wallet is empty, and his credit card has been declined.

Nothing was easy anymore. Especially the economy has struck disaster.

This morning, he had found a random woman sleeping in his bed, which made him pissed off at the last night's activities and kicked her out with no mercy. He hates being called as "Daddy". It's already grating enough for him for his memories to randomly conjure up in his head whenever he's busy.

Daddy this, Daddy that. He's not their father, and doesn't have a son.

Not that he's debating if he had one or not.

Boat number 7 broke down in the middle of the race and sank along the racer. Frustrated, Toji crumpled the paper and tossed it carelessly onto the ground.

"Betting on something stupid is stupid," a voice said behind Toji.

The man in a black suit and clean haircut, blew a smoke from a cigarette, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Shui Kong," Toji said, groaning. "What do you want?'

"Got bored with teaching students? I'm surprised you survived that college life for so long. I thought you'd bail out on the first day."

"Fuck off, I'm trying to watch the boat race," Toji grunted.

"The race is over, though," Shui said, smirking at Toji's displeased face. "Anyway, it's not the only reason why I'm here."

"Oh, do tell, but first buy me a box of yakisoba," Toji said, disinterested.

"It's regarding to your family," his companion informed.

"The great Zenin family, yada, yada, yada," Toji's hand waved. "I don't care about what they say. Their words always came from their shitty asses. Go buy the yakisoba; I'll pay you back later."

"With what money? You spent the last of the money on boat racing and a snack."

"Tch," Toji disgruntled. "Go, say whatever you say."

Shui cleared his throat. "It's rather urgent. Your father wants to see you."

"Again, I know what he's going to say. He's going to say that I'm the most disappointing son ever existed in his eyes. Thank god I'm adopted."

"This is about your son, Megumi," Shui mentioned. "He'll be taking over the clan in the near future. Your adopted father will kick you out the moment Megumi reach his potential on becoming an heir to his fortune."

"He never shared a slight of money," Toji groaned.

"He doesn't, which is why I'll be making a proposition--without letting them know, of course. This might be involve with hefty sum of fortune."

Toji's eyes snapped wide open. "I mean," Shui resumed, "if you still want to mope about the Zenin family, chances are your future is going to be bleak. Though I will say that rumor has it your not-so blood brother, is taking over the company in the future. Meaning, your last role to fill is not to become an obedient man, but becoming a family man in your adopted father's stead."

"Toji's teeth gritted. "That fucking bastard." Meeting Shui's twinkled eyes, Toji leaned back at his seat. "So, what kind of deal you want me to do? It better be worth it."

~~~

Reaching to your sanctuary, the weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Spotting you son asleep on his bed, clutching the sketcbook in hand and a pencil on the floor.

You tucked your son in with a blanket sheet, recently washed from laundry--contained in endless stacks of one clothing after another, then there's the bed sheets and pillow cases. None of which are helping you to get started since your college days have been nothing but torture.

Endless studies and notes in your major courses has been hell for your body and mind. This is the only time you'll be able to recharge is when coming home seeing your precious son, spritely and benign, something that you've never gifted with since born. Anything your son does, you support is fully needed, and needed badly. Not children should face their struggles and dreams alone without a proper kindness and support.

He has made drawings, already at a young age, he's curious and experiment with colors and art brushes and pencils alike. Each day, he drew something on a little piece of a sketchbook you bought. But since he wants his creativity to be expanded, you gathered a big sketchbook and a coloring book for him to fill with joy. The days of him occupying his thoughts, whether on painting or sketching, his mind has kept in occupying thoughts, a happy distraction. One day, he decided to fill an empty page of you and him, and despite the family picture is lacking, your son drew a picture what considered to be a tall man beside him.

Your heart race each time your son asks you about the whereabouts of his unknown father. Truth be told, it's better left unsaid.

Tucking his sketchbook aside on a desk lamp, you turned off the lights after you gave him a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

Stepping out from the room, you prepare to make a cup of green tea and heat a frozen bread pizza in the microwave, then set it on the oven, ticking as the toaster heats up. You sat back down at the dining chair, not bothering to do the assignments to hand in for decent grade.

If only you could drop out from Professor Fushiguro's class. He has been nothing but a condescending soul seeping to you as the girls are there to kiss his ass. They didn't bother to consider that Professor Toj could possibly be married or have a girlfriend. He must have hidden it for a reason, however, you felt as if Toji would ever commit to a person that make themselves appear as a burden to him, maybe that's why he didn't mind girls throwing themselves at him.

Both parties are pathetic.

Thank God you reached home where are no typical noises of squealing that you can't stand. As you head lulled back down on the dining table, forehead pressing against the cold surface, you wonder if it's all worth it. It maybe all worth for your son's sake, your son's future, but, at the very moment, you felt stupid to choose a course that is somehow difficult for you to catch up due to your boredom and the ability to misunderstand the lecture--taking the wrong notes or missing the important ones, and somehow your grades went downhill.

At this moment, you wanted nothing more but to sleep.

"Forget to turn off the toaster," a voice said.

As you didn't open your eyes, lulling to deep sleep, the alarm went off. Not the toaster, your phone.

You woke up with fright, shutting the alarm off. You decided to take a day off from your early reminders.

"Miss (y/n)," a sornous voice called.

You said nothing.

"Miss (y/n)," a man voice's became louder and bolder.

Thinking it was Professor Toji, you sat up straight with wakeful eyes, but it turns out to be a dream.

The doorbell rang.

And with that, you set of running to unlock the doors without peeping through the peep hole, revealing a tall man with cheekbones is as fine as a blade.

"Nanami," you greeted, hugging him.

His hug returned quite awkwardly. Knowing he's not a people-person, you still managed to greet him with a friendly smile.

Beckoning to enter, the smell of pizza has caught Nanami's attention. He rushed into the kitchen and coughed.

Your pizza is over burnt. So he turned on the vents to blow the burning smell away as he opened the kitchen window.

Nanami, who turned your pizza bread off from the toaster.

"Thank god my kitchen isn't on fire," you said in relief, your back slouching, your arm propped over the chair frame.

"I take it that you aren't okay with anything's happening right now?' Nanami poured himself a cup of fresh tea

You sighed. "Yeah, it's been a real bother. I don't even want to go tomorrow. Ever since I attend college, I thought it would be good for the sake of my son, but it turns I've been pathetic. I can't even do anything right."

"You'll get the hang of it," Nanami said calmly, sipping.

"It's not office work," you said, exhausted. "I just want a good life. That' why I took upon educating myself, but this one..."

Nanami stopped lifting his cup halfway. "This one?"

You shook your head. "Nothing. Everyone has been a real bother. Everyone is easily distracted, which makes me easily distracted and overwhelmed."

"Why not take online classes?'

"Online classes is another thing. I just don't trust internet that much. Besides, I don't want to coop myself up in one room. I have to get out to meet new people, maybe something to take my mind off of. I just don't want to do another mistake. So what have you been up to?"

Nanami drank his tea. "Nothing much. Just work, and more co-workers being dumbasses as ever."

"You mean like Gojo?'

"Not that kind of dumbass," he answered.

"Is the co-worker loud and obnoxious?"

"Guess you could say that," he said, tossing your burnt pizza out in the trash bin.

"You and me both."

Then silence prevailed. No exchanged looks, no sudden drop of noise. Nothing. Just the AC rumbling.

"I hope you're doing okay," you began. "I mean, I've seen you of not having a decent sleep. Your eyes says it all."

"I'm doing fine," he denied.

You scoffed. "Liar. Come sit down, I'll prepare something for you. You know, Daichi would be happy to see you if he's awake."

"Where is he now?'

"Sleeping. He kept busy with his drawings! He's my little Michelangelo! Ah, if you could see how far he has gotten with drawings. Everything is perfect. My little Daichi is gifted. I bought more sketchbooks and coloring pencils for him to try if he's up for a challenge, but he settled his experimentations on color pencils sooner than I thought."

Nanami chortled. "You really love your son, don't you?'

"Why not? A mother's love should NEVER suffocates a child with their selfish and hypocritical ideals that make the child hates the mother. My mom does a terrible job of being one. She said to me, "When you have a child, you should control EVERYTHING at what your child says and does, and how the child feels and opinions. She's such a fucking annoyance."

“You didn’t stay,” he concluded.

"I didn't," you said, sipping a second refill. "That's why I got up and left from that household. There's nothing for me there. And I don't want Daichi to be in their life. I just want them to be out of Daichi's sight. He'll cry if he meets them, but I made sure I won't let it happen. Same thing goes with my dad and my relatives, and even my “saintly” sister who's way better at everything than me. I mean, who the hell do they think they are?"

"A mother's love cannot be bested by someone's boasting in accomplishments," Nanami said. "Nor does the ignorance of a family tradition."

"I don't want to become like them," you said, reminding yourself. "Or end up saying the hurtful words to Daichi the way my so-called family did. What they did to me was at its worst, and I feel as if I'm not doing good enough. They thought of me as a threat...just because I think and feel different from the rest of them. Even if they didn't accept me, why can't they just leave me alone, instead of interfere at every personal choices I make for myself? They could've just ignore me, pretend I don't exist so that I could leave without them remembering me. Even now, my family wants me to reconnect with them, but I refused. I didn't want to be open to them, I didn't want to give the closure they wanted. I changed my phone number, my address, my surname, everything. I just hope that they...they don't..."

Tears fell down, your sobs grew louder. You couldn't help it.

Large hands placed on your back, massaging your shoulder blades, circling them. When you're at your worst, nobody was there for you. Your dad mocked your cries, calling your voice 'ugly', then your mom's denial of claiming rude words against you, and your sister's cold-heartedness whenever you see her, she doesn't want to look up to see your "disgusting" face. That's why she moved out with her friends.

There is one point where you wanted to become deaf, so that they couldn't hear what they say and how they said it, with their actions as a contradiction.

You couldn't handle it anymore. You just wanted to start a new life with newfound family.

"(y/n)," Nanami cooed, his mouth leaning towards at the back of your ear shell. "The pain will be over soon. You've done well as a young mother."

Your heart jumped.

What you didn't expect was the subtle kiss he placed on your ear shell.

"Nanami--" The hot tea spilled onto his uniform. Nanami sighed with alert.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry, Nanami. I'll go get some ice!"

Nanami reached for your wrist as you tried to run past him in the kitchen to fetch the ice from the freezer.

"Nanami?"

He said nothing but darting his unreadable eyes onto yours. With your stilled body, your dry throat scrunched up more, bobbing with anxiety. The AC resumed on making the thrumming noise from the roof.

"It'll leave a scar if you don't heal the burns hurry," you reminded, though whispered.

Heart pounded against your rib cage. Your hands coated in sweat. This has never happened to you before. Before Daichi, you suggested and insisted the idea of romance comes from books, but since Daichi is born in your stomach, reality hits too hard for you to handle. Not even your family's unnecessary commentary of how you become heavy and zombie-like, more stale looking and less bless with glow. In nine months, your dear family predetermine for you to be as a punching bag at every chance they get as their way of outlet of their horrible life.

Thank god your dearest friend, your most trusted friend, Nanami, bailed you out of the situation.

But what you felt for him, is he really a friend to begin with?

"What is it, Nanami?" Your face reddened, your quiet voice squeaked with concern.

Without given a warning, Nanami grasped your other arm before he pulled you in for an enticing kiss. Slipping his tongue to your opening, his arms encircled around your dainty body, pulling you closer even when the gap space is closed. Your hands suddenly have a mind of its own; slithered and ran down on Nanami's back, the boiling touch of his dousing office shirt entangled to yours

"(y/n)," he moaned, suddenly shoving you apart for him to discard his office suit off. However, his pants are intact, leaving your hands seizing and undo the belt. Nanami stopped you, plucking your neckline, trailing down on your engorged nipple with his nibbling kisses on the thin straps of your pastel pink tank top.

"I don't mind being as Daichi's Father," Nanami said, chuckling. "But," he said, inching his face closer to yours. "I don't mind you calling me. Wherever you go, whenever you need help, I'll always be there at your side, especially when I’m busy.”

Your sobs are about to appear again. You tried not to show it again, afraid of getting sick and tired by him.

"Nanami..." is all you could utter.

"Say "Yes, Daddy," he murmured.

Your heart bounced.

His fingers hooked your chin and lifted up to meet his commanding look in his cryptic gaze. "Say, "Yes, Daddy."

"Yes...Yes..."

Nanami stayed quiet, eyes coaxing you.

"Yes, Daddy," you whimpered.

With a slight smirk on his face, his face plunged in for another kiss. His hands roamed freely on your body, flowing with soft cotton nightgown. He took off his working glasses before implying a passionate kiss for the third time. Tucking his left hand in your night gown's skirt, his fingers hooked the lined fabric of your panties and slipped the undergarment downwards to your thighs, then your knees. Knowing what he was implying, your pussy is smothered in heat. By the time your pants came undone, he caught the material, stopping.

His phone had ring.

Groaning in frustration, Nanami took the call, but didn't let you go with the other hand.

"Nanami speaking. What is it this time?"

With a ragged breath, your head leaned in against his right breast, your hand pressed against the center of his chest, his heart pounding loudly as it can. It seems like you aren't the only one who's dealing with excitement.

"Fine, I'll be there. Just give a moment or two...It doesn't where I am. I'll be there." Then clicked his phone shut, his other hand attached to your waist again, his forehead pressed against yours.

"Work?' you uttered.

Nanami hummed.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," you suggested, rubbing his back. "I'll make the futon in my bedroom."

Nanami shook his head, leaning his head back to give a longing gaze at you. "If I didn't leave, how will I be able to give Daichi's future career in art and your dreams of gaining a life you deserve away from your family, by becoming as a truest moment of your happiest self?"

"I'll find a job. That's why I'm here, to start over."

Nanami's hand tucked into your long hair. "It doesn't have to be that way. I can help you, just like I've always been. You don't have to worry about your life anymore."

Your brows scrunched. "What are you saying?'

"Once I get back, please let me know of your answer."

"Wha--"

Nanami wore his doused suit and fetched his things before approaching the entrance door. Chasing after him by the grab on his forearm, Nanami turned and gave you a longing kiss. "Will you please be my wife?"

"Nanami..."

He gave a peck on your cheek, then your eyelids, and his lips finally landing onto your mouth. "Daddy's going to take care of you better than before. Wait for me, my sweet (y/n)," he said, then left, disappear from your sight, leaving you breathless at the previous events unfolded.

Taglist: @galactict3a @colored-tr-panels

[rudnitskaia]

Im desperately withholding the urge to ask like 13 questions for romauncebut ive narrowed it down to 3, 6, 18 and 19

Hey-hey, Edd! ✨

Thank you for your wonderful ask again! I'm very grateful for the inspiration and the opportunity you gave me to reveal more of the RoMaunce story. 💖

I decided to write and post the ficlets for the remaining part of your ask all at once. I remember you wanted a drawing for № 18, and I will certainly do it in the end of May / beginning of June (only from Rocky's perspective and containing that bonus part of the question), but now I want to cover it at least with a short story. :3

So, here they are, the ficlets for questions № 3, № 6 and № 18 from that list in the chronological (for the characters) order.

№ 18 - Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

A Real Unicorn

“Oh, Rocky, what a—” Ivy stopped short when she noticed that the pieces of paper she had picked up from the floor beneath the table where Calvin and Rocky had been sitting just a moment ago weren't trash, but… notes.

A pile of small, tightly crumpled notebook sheets, all neatly handwritten in pencil. It was unlikely that anyone had ever given Rocky an assignment on paper, and Calvin also had no reason to write so often to the cousin whom he saw every day. Maybe Rocky wrote down poetry that way? Though it would have been a bit of a stretch to assume that he was that meticulous. Ivy stroked the sheets with her fingers. Were they really valuable, since Rocky kept them with him, or did he just put them in his pocket and then forget to throw them away? It wasn't that important, actually. It was better to just return the loss… but curiosity eventually got the better of Ivy.

Forgetting about the plates and cups, she began to read the lines, puzzled to find a strange list of orders from the cafeteria. Pizzas, pastas, salads, coffee… no, Ivy didn't see anything surprising in the fact that Rocky might have dined somewhere else besides Little Daisy, but why did he keep the notes that the waitresses usually made for the kitchen?

She wondered about that until she accidentally turned over one of the sheets.

What she saw was hard to comprehend. With each new word, Ivy's gaze grew more excited. Her heart beat more frequently. Her eyebrows arched in surprise.

She didn't stop until she had read them all, from beginning to end, but even then she couldn't believe it. Ivy sat back in the chair and stared at the wall.

What was more likely? That Rocky had completely lost his mind and over and over again was writing himself tender endearments and, for some reason, wishes of bon appétit, in the same thin handwriting that listed the orders on the back side of the sheets, or that he had a… no, it couldn't be. It seemed ridiculous to even try to imagine.

After all, if somewhere in the world there existed a woman who willingly writes such words to Rocky Rickaby, then somewhere in St. Louis might as well live a real unicorn.

№ 3 - Most common argument?

The Chains That Are Too Short

“Someday I'll steal you away for more than a couple hours, and then we'll get really entertained,” Rocky chuckled, helping Mau roll up the blanket. Another night under the stars in St. Louis was coming to an end.

“Really? Are you planning something for a whole three hours?” quipped Maura at him.

“I was rather hoping for something between fifty years and forever,” Rocky shrugged, picking up his violin case. “And then it is as it goes. You know, all that happily ever after, but… livelier. With a bit of sparks here and there.”

“Hmm. So, you’re going to take me, like a princess, away on a white horse to your sugar castle in the kingdom beyond the clouds, and we'll live in love and harmony, become exemplary neighbors, start paying our taxes, have a bunch of obnoxious kids and die the same day.”

“Why not?” Rocky seemed not to notice her sarcasm. “Yes, the script is old-fashioned, but it's proven by both time and folklore. It's almost a guide to action, if you know how to apply folk wisdom properly. And if we dig deeper into the poetry of feudal Europe, we can probably find a couple or three good tips even about paying taxes.”

“Maybe so, but unfortunately, happy fairytales are now left only as an exception and only on the stages of theaters. And you and I don't have enough for a single ticket even together,” Mau started to walk toward the fire escape, but Rocky caught up with her and took her by the arm. Her words, or rather what was clearly between the lines, made his heart feel totally uneasy.

“Mau… I can get some money. I…”

“It's not about money, Roark,” she sighed. “Or rather, it's not just about them. You know it well already…” she took only a step before Rocky stopped her again.

“Come with me,” he blurted out anxiously.

“Where to?”

“In general! Now! We could live together…”

“You sleep in a car. Which isn't even yours.”

“If I rearrange a few things, we both could fit in there. And I could give the cactus to Freckle…”

“Roark…”

“And… and! And I could also ask Miss M. about a job for you. Sooner or later things will get better at Lackadaisy, and… what if we could rent a room together?”

“That's the very problem. I can't be seen anywhere in criminal circles. My father and I are being chased, and rumors will definitely spread if I show up in the underground, and then… then my father and I will have to run away again, and if anyone finds out that you and I are together… Dio mio, don't you realize they'll kill you?”

Rocky quietly groaned and started pacing back and forth. He was almost shaking from nerves. Mau, meanwhile, continued, oblivious to the need to speak in a low voice:

“These thugs are not going to stop at anything to get us. It's bad enough that you're at odds with the locals, so I pray every night that you'll at least stay alive after your ventures, and I don't want to bring the New York Mafia down on you too! This is madness, Roark! I told you many times, I can't be seen with you while you're in the bootlegging business. Maybe we could rent a shabby little room somewhere if you were just a musician, but you ain't, and you ain't going to be!”

In despair, Rocky flailed his arms.

“But I can't! I can't leave Miss M.! I can't—”

“I know,” Mau interrupted him. “And I'm not asking you to. But you can't tease me with a bright future either… It's too much even for me. We're alive, and we have each other, here and now, and that's more than I could ever hope for. Please, just be with me while it's possible…”

Rocky still couldn't calm down. He was breathing erratically, heavily… when Mau stepped closer to him and gently embraced him, he pulled her against him so tightly that she involuntarily sighed. He was sickened by how right she was. His entire being was rebelling against that rightness, wanting to burn that truth to the ground and recreate his own, happy truth from the ashes, whatever risks it took. The seconds lingered… Rocky didn't unclench his hands. Anything to keep Mau in his arms now… anything to avoid going back into the night alone.

But the chains bound to them were too short to allow them to reach the morning.

Interesting fact: The question № 3 was the hardest for me to explore, because for me Rocky and Mau are not the couple that has many constant, repetitive topics to argue about. At first I thought to write about Rocky ignoring his health issues, because that definitely would've got Maura's nerves, but that topic becomes a 'constant argument' only in the distant future from the Lackadaisy current timeline. But finally, I found the topic that is definitely difficult for them both and may cause repetitive uneasy discussions. I hope it covered the question.

№ 6 - What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

The Serenity in You

The Epigraph: When stars drown in the night and the storm fills your mind, it's important to find the safe haven to hide…

The summer heat in the car was becoming unbearable. Rocky felt as if he was drowning in the dense air, almost as much as in his own thoughts. Whenever he was able to doze off, fears and memories began to flood his mind, to crash over him in suffocating waves. Carefully, so as not to wake her, Rocky found Maura's hand, gently intertwining their fingers together. Even back then, when he hadn't had the courage to tell her about his feelings, she had taken his hand in hers so often that it had become almost a sacred act for Rocky. She didn't even seem to realize how every time they were sitting or standing in front of each other she began to stroke the back of his hand… and how much peace, serenity even, that gentle touch brought him.

Suddenly he heard a whisper:

“What are you thinking about?”

Rocky slightly shivered from tension. What he was thinking about… he wished he didn't know himself. Keeping his eyes shut, he mumbled:

“Ah, it's nothing. You know, there's a pesky streetlight out there, and its reflection in the window keeps me awake…”

Mau was silent for a while, and only turned slightly on her side, resting her head on his chest.

“I love hearing your voice, Roark. Falling asleep listening to the tune you hum and the sound of your heartbeat. It's soothing… almost like the sound of the rain outside the window, only… much warmer. Dearer. But when your heart beats like this… like how it beats now… I want to know what makes it so heavy.”

Once again, the nightmares that had haunted him became clearer in his mind. He hesitated; he was uncomfortable with these ugly thoughts himself, and the last thing he wanted to do was to make Mau sink into them, too. But when she gently, yet confidently squeezed his hand in hers again, his doubts receded. She was here, right next to him. And as long as she touched his fingers with hers, they would not drown in this boundless sea. So finally, gently leaning his cheek against the top of Maura's head, Rocky began to speak.

[vaguely-humanoid-form]

thanks, Matt

matpat means.... a lot to me, to say the least. I was raised in a single parent household and l haven't really considered myself to have a dad for a long time. while yes, I do technically have a dad, that's only really in the context of genetics. and my daddy issues but that's not important.

what is important is that matpat was my father, in a way. he was dubbed the title of "internet dad" long after he had already been one to me. he's part of the reason that I am the person I am today.

this piece exists because of matpat, for many reasons.

one, because I sobbed watching "goodbye internet" and want to do something special for his retirement.

two, because fnaf is the entire reason that I create what I do today, and that is partially heavily credited to matpat for overanalyzing a game about murderous animatronics in a pizzeria that I was obsessed with the moment I found out about it. 7 year old me was hooked, man.

and then I think through that, I found even more creators, which led to even more hyperfixating on weird nerdy shit, which led to me making more and more art.

and now, here I am. I'll be 17 years old in April. I graduate high school in one year.

I'm growing up.

not that I haven't been for my whole life because, well, that's how that works.

but I am nearing the true "end" of my childhood.

this year is fnaf's ten year anniversary.

this year marks a decade with game theory.

this year marks the beginning of the end.

I look back on my childhood. I went back to make one quick edit of my incredibly old Instagram account that I had way before I should've even had it.

I look back on the friends I had. I look back on all of the early-mid 2010s shit I posted and I smile. because it's cringe. it's cringe as hell and it's beautiful because of that.

and the nonsense theories are beautiful, and every single theory is beautiful because it exists. because it stems from the need to learn and think and have fun.

because that's what theorizing is about, in the end.

having fun.

matpat means a lot to me.

matpat is the reason that I am the person typing out this post. matpat is the reason that I am the person who spent 6 hours and 45 minutes drawing a piece featuring undertale and fnaf characters in it.

matpat inspires me to exist. and create. and think and learn and seek and everything.

yes, it's a bit parasocial. but it's hard for it to not be considering that I've spent more than half of my life growing alongside this man, seeing him grow in real time in tandem with myself.

I'm growing up.

but I still feel like a kid.

that's good and bad.

the bad is the part of my childhood that I didn't get to have because of my puberty hitting early. it's the fact that some of me is still a 12/13 year old in 2020. it's how the internet affected my growth.

the good is the part of me that still gets unreasonably excited when one of my interests gets brought up "in the wild." it's the fact that I love stuffed animals. it's how the internet affected my growth.

I look back on myself as a kid and, yes, I do indeed get embarrassed or genuinely cringe at how I was in some aspects. but I smile.

because it's me.

despite everything, it's still me.

despite everything, I'm still me, and matpat is still matpat, and despite every single thing that we've all gone through,

we're still us.

I remember one year, I bought myself the theorist varsity jacket with some Christmas money or something.

my best friend has the theorist backpack, I'm pretty sure.

hell, matpat's probably one of the reasons that they are my best friend.

two absolute geeks of GT kids, bonding over the nerdy stuff they liked, probably talking about theories. I don't remember super well, that was elementary school, man.

but isn't that incredible?

the fact that I'm still friends with someone I met in the first grade because of nerdy people like matpat.

I am forever grateful that I found the game theorists and became part of that group. so much of who I am is because I am a theorist. because I found one guy on the internet making overanalytical videos about games.

matpat means a lot to me. and if in case he somehow reads this whole weird ramble prose post open letter thingy, then I hope it means something to him.

but, hey, that's just a theory.

thanks for everything, Matt. <3

[unfragility]

my family is not made of humans.

i was born in a severely abusive enviroment, where all i knew was fear and violence. everyday i would wake up terrified that it'd be another day that i'd feel physical and emotional pain, caused by the ones who should be loving and protecting me the most. they seemed to enjoy to take all of their frustrations out on me and my sister, and beat us up until we could no longer move. they'd humiliate us, threaten us and destroy our sense of security so we could no longer ask for help. not that i'd make a difference - everytime we did ask for help, adults around us would ignore or stay silent.

i don't have a family. my mother is a narcisistic, violent and delusional woman who only sees me a source of money and nothing else. my father is completely absent, as he always was (except when he was beating us up), and thinks sending me a "good morning" text everyday can make it up for what he did. my sister... i think she loves me. sometimes she hates me too. i suppose i'm her walking reminder that she was an abuse survivor, and that's all she wants to avoid so she can start over. i get it.

my friends are lovely. they're almost like family to me, except they don't understand how it's like to have no one else. it seems unfair; to look at them like they're my last hope, and to know that they don't understand the feeling, because they have loving mothes, sisters and relatives alike. they have support - i do not. i think that's what hurts me the most, at the end of the day. they don't know how it's like to be alone. and if they don't, they will never understand this giant hole inside my chest.

my partner is a two-sided coin. seeing from one perspective, he loves me, cares about me, protects me and tries his best. but from the other, he's negligent. he doesn't understand that his past makes me insecure, afraid, sad and miserable. if he could just start affirming me everyday how much all of this does not matter and that i'm his one and only, that i'm the one that truly matters, i'd be happy. but he doesn't; he barely gives me affection when i'm depressed. he just lets me be. i suppose if i had killed myself this morning when i took my keys and left without a single positive thought in my head, he would take some good few hours to even notice. he'd be asleep. that's why it's so hard for me to trust him; i have to tell him every single think i need, all the time. i'm tired.

so looking at the bigger picture and making it simple, i'm all alone in this world. i've got no one. no human being can understand this pain of being completely left behind by everyone around me. no one understands the excruciating horror of existing without human warmth and support. no one can feel what i feel, and they never will. and that's the reason sometimes - actually, all the time - i think about ending it all. just putting an end to it, forever. this thought actually brings me peace. i wish i could have peace. and when i finally rest, i'm sure i'll have it.

but then, there's them. my only light in this world. my reason to exist. my will to keep going. my animals. god, i love them. i really do.

how can i possibly begin to explain how much i love these small, unique, kind and pure beings? they're everything i have in this life. it's funny how they're not the ones who chose to be adopted by us, and yet they're happy to be around and feel extremely grateful to be by your side. these little fellas can change your whole day with a single "meow", and make it all worth it.

all of them mean so much to me. their lives, their health, their happiness, their little hearts. when i have them around me, i feel like i have a purpose: giving love and taking care of them. it makes that chronical hole a little smaller, and it warms my chest up from the inside. i don't know, it's like they have this spark of life in them that lits me up whenever i want to end this existence for once and all.

they did not chose to live with me, but they chose to love me, and they still choose it everyday. they choose to be happy around me. to make me smile. to take care of me when i cry, and to sleep by my side when i'm hopeless. they also choose to be tricky assholes sometimes, but isn't it part of the fun of having these little fellas? i love them even when they're bothering me.

when my mom beat me up, i cried to my dogs. when i felt desperate and alone, i cried to cindy. when i tried to kill myself, napo was there, staring at me like he didn't want to see my crying and cutting my legs while taking random meds. when my ex made me so insanely desperate to end my life that i couldn't move out of the bed, cheetah and ciel were there. ciel was with me everyday after my traumatic breakup, until he could no longer be. when the pain of still living with my abuser - my own mother - hit me like a truck, kiri licked my tears off my face. when i wanted to have fun in the middle of this chaotic and painful life, blue made me smile being silly. and now, when i want to get this goddamn rope i bought for them and hang myself in the balcony, adônis quietly sits on my legs and sleeps like an angel. cheetah watches me carefully too.

whoever you are, if you're reading this, can you understand me? they're the only family i have. they're all i got. i have no one, i never had. everyone left. no one understands. no one can even imagine how it feels to have the unique experience of being completely alone and helpless in a huge, cruel world. and they never will, and this world will never forgive me for being like this. for being born wrong, broken beyond repair. no one will stand by me.

but they will.

[1800duckhotline]

i know u mentioned salice and gale have stuff going on can i ask abt it ?

you can always ask about it. this ask is from a week ago. i am sorry. i promise you that ive been honestly like digesting the game ending and juggling how to answer this at the same time. ill try to be very short and brief with my Thoughts

I'll still put this under a readmore after a bit because it might still be long and embarrassing LMFAOOOO

The short of it is that it starts rocky when the adventure starts because Salice has like. a potent dislike for wizards (i'll hear you say: vera you said her best friend is a wizard and her grandma too. i say: i'll get to it) and so immediately she would find him Insufferable. This is mostly a one-sided thing though bc I imagine him going "I'm just here man. I didn't do anything to You"

For how otherwise like harmless Gale is, she would find his lackluster humility and tendency to slip into condescending tangents very annoying, and in my head she'd always have to make quips or remarks about it. As it is one-sided on her part, I imagine he still acts amicable and tries not to turn discussions into arguments, even if her unwarranted hostility can get grating

This is also because salice in general is a distant, aloof individual who's acting as the nice guy out of pure circumstance. She's been on the road for more than 4 years after a bounty was put on her head in baldur's gate; she hardly trusts, and retains most of her past prejudices against those who are naturally gifted in magic, or are in general more attuned to it. [a/n: the details of this are in her biography] Since I imagine Gale being insightful enough to notice this, but not wanting to pry about it, kind of gives the hint that there's not just a simple-minded superficial dislike going on but something a little more complex. But again, he likes privacy and she does too. So it's just there in the air.

That said a turning point I imagine in their relationship with one another kind of is the weave scene in act 1? The best way I can put it is that yes, Salice is kind of mean to him oftentimes, but a lot of times also seems interested in the things he talks about (this imagine being a bit after they start adventuring so shes letting sliiightly loose on her distancing with the others), so he's like hey, well, I mean, why not show a magic trick. It can help with our bond since we need to stick together :-)

And the scene happens and it leaves Salice like. Befuddled. Because. Y'know. the whole Weave Rejection Problem she's had since forever. For an instant, one random night, during an awful unwanted adventure, She Did It. She channeled the Weave. The thing she Sold her Soul Over, you know, to be able to Do That. At the end of the scene she's got a thousand yard stare and he's like "????? are you alright" and she's just like Dead Inside, just a little bit

AGAIN HARD TO PARSE MY THOUGHTS BUT LIKE the short of it is that she's like. Okay. i need to get my feelings in check. but EVIDENTLY if someone's gonna have answers it's gonna be THIS GUY. So she decides to be nicer if not to try and get answers. Getting HELP is another thing, but if he's such an expert and having him around made that channeling happen then he knows something maybe???? Hopefully???? This is all before he reveals that he's got a nuke in his chest.

When that happens it all clicks together for her - a little too close to her own kind of story even if obviously she didn't get the attention of a goddess, but is rather seeking the attention of an entity she isn't even sure exists. But she did also catch the attention of a powerful archdevil, so it's similar, she figures. It's funny because I imagine her going "man, that sucks. I totally get it, dude. Happened to me too. Sorry about it. We'll find a solution I'm sure" and he goes "What do you mean 'happened to me too'? Do you care to elaborate" "Absolutely not ."

it's all kind of a Tell or Not To Tell game because Salice has Psychological Issues even if shes a chad and is generally very secretive of her past and such.

I have more thoughts to spare but i think I rambled enough. However I will add that I think in my head the reason why the romance makes so much sense is because fundamentally they are very similar in what motivates each of them but also drastically different in how they approach their objectives.

Gale made his gravest mistakes due to his ambition, even if the intentions were as good-natured as can be. He wanted to prove himself not only loyal but equal to Mystra, which was risky in of itself, but well definitely human of him to do. He is regretful of it in the present days of the story and he can be either encouraged to stray away from or follow that ambition when the crown of karsus enters the stage. He has a sense of recklessness when it comes to his own-selfbeing if the (initially) very self-sacrificial dialogues mean anything. And They Do Salice also committed the stupidest deed out of a desperate pursuit of power and ambition. The fact she could not succeed her grandma's lineage was driving her mad enough to sell herself to an archdevil, so long she would have powers, and so long he'd honor an utterly delusional desire of hers. How I imagine it, if she were a companion you can stray her from staying a warlock, or just let her be and suffer the consequences of not giving Mephistopheles back the Crown (since I am 100% he would somehow want it back). Salice's recklessness comes from the fact that she's not afraid of death. Maybe a little too not afraid of it.

But she's also extremely hypocritical because she'd sway him from pursuing godhood, while she's like oh me? No yeah I'm good. Girl you are stupid ? So I imagine that once her own story is unravelled for everyone to know, he'd be like Oh. I Get It Now. That's why you were so MEAN to me. But is he really in the place to judge? In their respective 20s they both ended up doing some pretty stupid things after all, of various degrees of severity

Oh this is embarrassingly long. Well I'm sorry if you are still reading this this is the delirium of a madman . That said thank you also for the questions I'm still ironing out some kinks and I am happy to answer any specific question/curiosity tbh I want to draw comics about them but im SLOW... as well as in general salice and the companions

[ari194]

First of all, just major spoiler warnings for the wolf 359 finale. Second of all this is gonna be a long post of just all the thoughts while I listen to the finale.

God I love the beginning with Cutter and Pryce like just that whole story time back and forth is so so good

Adding Hera and Eiffel's first meeting also hurts so good I can't. Just the little smile you can hear in Eiffel's chuckle and voice after Hera's "good boy" and the immediate establishment of them being partners in crime from the get go, just not even five minutes of knowing each other and they were already breaking rules together, words cannot describe how much I adore them

"These people have taken our lives away from us" line is so good, Renee Minkowski is t h e leader and I love her with my whole heart. She could rally me to do anything

"your dad loves you, your dad loves you so much" those are his last words to his daughter while he remembers her. fuck fuck f u c k. Christ this shit hurts. I love this podcast so much

Eiffel and Minkowski getting to laugh together one last time before everything goes down is so so good

"Goddammit Renee don't do this" and my heart b r e a k s

The fucking score in this episode is so so excellent the dramatic piano and just the everything about the pacing of the music is executed masterfully Alan Rhodey is a god

Dougie no, stop no self deprecating in this household. Also holy fuck just got hit with the "I can't do this" from Eiffel holy im being devastated with every second that goes by, we love parallels in this household

"you're just going to have to trust me"

"with my life darling, with my life" I love them so much eiffera has my entire heart forever 😭

Eiffera again hitting me with the "I can do this" "Of course you can darling" just her being able to confidently state her abilites and Eiffel not questioning her for a second, complete faith in Hera and always supporting her without hesitation.

God I love Kepler God I love him so much his reveal is everything his last lines are everything his last act is everything I can't I can't I can't.

"The beautiful thing is, I don't need you to be" is just such a fucking good line I will never ever ever get over it.

Also, harpoon?!

It's the fact that all I had to hear was the sound of the mind sweep and I started to completely come apart. I'll always love and hate that they didn't let Doug say his last words to Hera.

Wolf 359 will always always always be my absolute favorite piece of media to exist ever. Nothing will ever top it and I will never be able to love something as deep as I love Wolf 359. Just the fact that they saved the world they saved all of humanity and they would have all died with no one ever knowing a thing if it wasn't for Jacobi, Wolf 359 could have so easily ended as a tragedy and still been a good and wonderful piece of media but it's the fact that they got their somewhat bitter mostly sweet happy ending that sets it apart. It's the question of what makes the self, what makes a person themselves, it's that even while bawling your eyes out there will still be lines that make you laugh through it, it's every heartbreak throughout the show and the finale finally having the payoff of getting to hear them be safe and go home. They're battered, wounded, and bruised but they're alive and they are all going to start again. It's the last scene being our original 3 voice actors and the fact that when Doug goes "spending time with you two was the best damn thing to ever happen to him" there was never any doubt that he was talking about Minkowski and Hera.

I will never be over Wolf 359, and I will always be grateful I stumbled upon it and had the chance to fall in love with it. Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk I'm gonna go sob some more for a few hours.

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Hey Ray, how are you? I've read about your flu recently. I'm very sorry and I hope you get better soon. Have a fast recovery, ok?

Regarding confessions, I have nothing much to say. I think other anons already mentioned lots of valid points. Sure- porn fics are obv exaggerated, characters get mischaracterized and ships get pushed down out throats all the time but hey, that's just an average fandom experience, right?

So I'm trying to ignore/filter all the negativity and allow only good, quality content on my dash. Unfortunately, the content is few and not many appreciate writers and artists here on Tumblr. So it's for the best if they'd just change platforms and try their luck somewhere else that offers more positive interaction/involvement. I miss Tumblr reblog culture and nice feedback on dif stories/art. Nothing is the same anymore...

Regarding mischaracterization- it's not a problem to headcanon things, in fact, to each their own. But it's a problem when people openly accept headcanon as canon and unapologetically fight others over inaccurate opinions. It's so beyond me. And the funniest thing- it's mostly minors. Can we get rid of the minors in for-them-inappropriate fandom spaces pls? Tumblr staff where you at?

I noticed that fans of less popular characters are more fun. I'm not that big into Choso you see, but his fans made the whole fandom experience so much more enjoyable. And I don't think that Mahito fans are weird if you compare Toji smut fics (I'm not calling out people but I'm calling out people). Sukuna fans I'm looking at you too...

I'm forever grateful for Nanami, Higuruma, Kusakabe and Shiu quartet. Gege, thank you for feeding us while it lasted. The fics are divine and I understand why Shoko didn't see the appeal in stsg, like girl I get you.

I'll come out and say it- stsg is overrated. And jjk girls deserve more content that isn't ship-oriented.

I think Gege needs to make up his mind because Yuta and Yuji can't exist as two mains at once. Everyone is taking away Yuji's spotlight, but they're dying and dying until nobody's left except Yuji... I don't know how jjk will end.

I miss Yuki and Todo's dynamic and all the funny stuff, I wish jjk was a comedy fr... Gege is writing an idol manga after this one so I can't wait for the things he has in store for us!

Hello! Thank you for your concern about my cold. Honestly, with all of you wishing me to get better, I'm recovering a little faster! 💜💜💜

I agree with mischaracterization, but imo, unless a mangaka explicitly states something, then a fictional character is always subject to having HC's being formed about them depending on the writer. What gets problematic though, is when fans of a writer start looking at those HC's as an actual canon, and now they're picking fights/sending hate to other creators who have different opinions.

Fans of less popular characters tend to be more chill from what I've seen. They just want to talk about their faves and have a good time, and are less bothered with what could be canon or not. They have their HC's and are open to hearing different ones too.

I feel like JJK gave us this genre of 'tired men in suits' which is very appealing, even to us older girlies who are in the same age range as these men.

Stsg being overrated...imo I don't feel that way. I think they had great potential as a couple and I'm filled with sadness at the thought that they didn't catch Suguru's spiral when it happened. I can see them with heterosexual partners too, but I love the concept of Stsg.

The JJK women definitely need content not surrounding ships or smut. Something more action-related or just let her shine in her own right in a fic.

IDK what'll happen going forward...The story is supposed to center on Yuji but it feels like he's constantly being pushed aside. I hope things resolve soon but it looks like Sukuna might win after all this. I'm just sad thinking about it.

I miss the slice of life feel to the story as well but what can ya do...Gege is the mangaka, so he'll do what he wants. But if he brings back Nanami I ain't complaining lol.

Thank you for your confession!

[separatist-apologist]

Hi! I hope you are doing well! I was wondering were you able to finish empire of storms and if so how did it go and what did you think of the ending . I’ve been off awhile so I wanted to know if you finished the book cause I loved reading your updates about it , literally made my day . Enjoy your day

I did finish empire of storms and let me see if I left a review on good reads- no. But I did rate it 1 star.

I didn't enjoy it, I'm gonna be honest. QoS wrapped up the series so neatly that I was genuinely curious how it was going to continue. EoS was not satisfying in that it was bloated with so many perspectives that ultimately added very little to the story. I don't know if you're a From Blood and Ash hater like I am, but EoS does what FBAA also loves to do- 500 pages of practically nothing and then 100 pages of all the plot crammed together.

The tone shift is also weird. The first four books feel YA and then it's very much not, and I love smut so don't you dare try and come for me, but like...oof the smut just did not belong. I'm sorry if people liked it, but TOG didn't need it.

I don't like Dorian and Manon together (i'll die forever on that hill) and I don't like Elide and Lorcan together. The ending was AWFUL and I knew it was coming because I exist online and have seen the art, but the conspiring against Aedion, KNOWING Lorcan was going to call Maeve and...letting it happen (WHY?? In what world is that anything but DUMB? Like blah blah narrative WHY? What if Maeve killed everyone, there was no way Aelin could have forseen the outcome as being favorable) was a C H O I C E. I think you want me to be like, emotionally wrecked but I was so grateful to just be done with it. I nearly DNF'd the whole series after EOS. It can end for me at QOS.

I am working through TOD and I'm bored. It's just fine. Chaol's self-loathing makes it a particularly unfun read and SJM can only do one kind of relationship- tense/enemies to lovers and I'm just bored.

I'm taking a break to finish Legendborn and then I'll try and power through the rest of TOD

[owlsinathens]

Hello and happy Greysnow Week Sunday!

For this event, at first I only wanted to rec "older" fics that new folks might not have found yet and Greysnow regulars will remember fondly, but for today I decided to rec two newer fics, simply because I can't not rec them.

Fight me by @thereluctantbadger

Rating: M

Summary: In which Theon is struggling to cope with himself in the aftermath of Ramsay. But a certain black haired nurse ends up being just who he needs.

Dany says: Well, damn. Rereading that fic when I went to pic my recs hit me as hard as the first time round. All the realness of the hospital surroundings, the things that have happened and are alluded to but dealt with with so much respect and care, the way Theon and Jon are with each other – it's just so goddamn fantastic. Theon is so Theon it hurts, his thoughts, his dealing with his situation, all of it. And then there's Jon, a warmer Jon than we find in canon, perfectly translated into a modern medical setting. And then there's both of them. Fight me. Ahhhh perfection ♥️

all us kids, knee deep in dirt by @vivacissimx

Rating: T

Summary: The sound of boots scuffling hid a sniffle. “Did you love her?”

Like you loved your wildling? Theon wonders. She was dead, he knew. Dead like Kyra, like both of their fathers. “She saved me. I wanted to save her too.” A sob escapes him, and he can take no more. “Go, Jon. Go.”

Or: Theon escapes the Dreadfort and seeks refuge the only place he can. As he heals, Jon Snow comes back into his life with a vengeance.

Dany says: Drowned fucking hell, I still am not over this fic. It was the gift I received in the 2021 Theon exchange hosted by @alleyskywalker and I could not have received a better one. Theon is portrayed spectacularly. His inner fight, his splitting apart at the seams and yet trying so hard to keep it together, my heart broke for him over and over again. There's everything in that fic. Brilliant characterization, evocative settings that made everything incredibly real, a plot that leaves me craving a rewrite/continuation of the whole fucking book series with this premise... just wow. Wow. I'll forever be grateful that this fic exists.

[shivunin]

Ooooh you're doing it again? NOICE! **

"Send me an npc (or your own oc! For funsies) and I'll tell you what my oc thinks of them."

So let's see...

Wade and Herren for Arianwen.

The Arishok and Keeper Merethari for Maria

Sir Woolsey for any/whatever of your Lavellans you feel would have the strongest opinion about the real Arl of Redcliffe.

And take Aisling and tell me all any of your characters will think of her, go. (again, pick any of these you want, no obligations! ✨)

Thank you, Arja! 💗

(NPC Opinions thing)

Oh man, Wen and those two. I won't say she likes them, but she's sort of accustomed to them? She's definitely grateful when they turn up at Vigil's Keep, but they talk so much. It's sort of in one ear and out the other for her. Most importantly, they made the really nice armor that she gave Zev and it kept him alive. They'd be on good terms just for that. She's definitely not about to start baking them cookies anytime soon, but then I can only think of one or two people she would bake cookies for.

Maria starts out with a lot of respect for Keeper Marethari, but that respect vanishes during Act 2. She gives the arulin'holm to Merrill, of course, and it really, really bothers her that Marethari not only left that choice up to her (a human) but also that she has apparently poisoned the whole clan against Merrill. The idea of having a home to go back to is so, so important to Hawke. Knowing that Marethari has essentially stolen Merrill's from her forever (how could she ever go back to the clan if they all think she's a maleficar?) is deeply upsetting. She is cordial, perhaps even cold with the Keeper after that. She comforts Merrill when the Keeper dies, but she isn't really sorry about it.

As for the Arishok, Hawke also starts out with a deep respect for him that isn't at all affected by his decisions leading up to the end of Act 2. She doesn't even really mind him killing the nobility, tbh, though she wouldn't say it in so many words. Frankly, the conditions in Kirkwall are as bad as they are because it benefits the ruling class and she despises it. As far as she's concerned, let them all burn. The only caveat to all this is that she takes exception to the rampant damage to the city and, obviously, the Arishok taking and/or killing Isabela. Even after all that, she regrets having to kill him and continues to have very mixed feelings about it long after he's dead.

Emma is the most comfortable with spirits in general and she kind of adored Sir Woolsley. She tells Adhlea stories about him all the time and even started a research project to locate and document other spirit-possessed animals, should they exist. She anonymized his location in all her documents, of course, lest someone track him down in Redcliffe and turn him from spirit to demon.

Regarding Aisling:

Arianwen would have the most complicated feelings about Aisling, I think, if she were present to watch the events of Inquisition go down. On one hand, she really doesn't like humans much and she'd be glad to see an elf in charge of such a powerful organization. On the other hand, she would not like the idea of the Chantry using an elf to spread their dominion even further. She would also have very conflicting feelings about the role of the Wardens and their level of cooperation with the Inquisition (though! I don't remember which way Aisling rolled with that, tbh). Wen's walls are pretty high, so I don't see them becoming friends exclusively because I don't see her being willing to open up like that for anyone new. Also, she would be extremely suspicious of someone referred to as the "Herald of Andraste"

Maria would get along with Aisling really well, I think! She'd be a bit taken aback by Cullen dating a mage after everything, I think, so she'd approach with caution. But they have a lot in common and Maria really likes thinking things through logically and weighing the pros and cons, so I think they'd do some good sciencey magic together c: (Also, anyone who's a friend to her friends gets a little extra leeway where she's concerned and Varric's opinion carries a lot of weight for her. Aisling would be worth befriending based on that alone, but I think she would come to like Aisling for herself pretty quickly).

Elowen would grow around Aisling like a vine on the walls of Skyhold. Aisling is exactly the kind of friend she needed so desperately in those early days and I think their strengths would bolster each other's weaknesses. So in short, I think she'd adore Aisling c:

Salshira is really uncomfortable with any personal questions. So as long as they could talk about Aisling/neutral topics, she'd be happy to spend time together. The second Aisling expressed direct worry about her/how she was doing, Salshira would run (but, you know, that's how she is; she's scared of deep connections, at least at first).

I was thinking about Aisling and Emma earlier haha! Because of that trap post. I feel like there is some universe where Aisling is the Inquisitor and Emma is some kind of researcher/magic specialist. I think these roles would suit them and Emma would appreciate Aisling's input (as long as she stops touching things, Creators, she just finished putting all those mosaics back where they were!). They would definitely start talking through theories about some magical apparatus or another, forget that time exists, and scare everyone into thinking something awful happened to them. And then keep doing it, because it's so nice to have a friend to talk about your favorite things with!

[mixedsignals25]

Right place at the right time

"The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It’s a scary thought but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there. The right place at the right time"

I can't imagine what my life would've been like if this show never existed. I've always been a huge skeptic when it came to the big picture of it all. I really didn't know if the things that were happening to me and the things I did had any meaning at all. That's why I find How I met your mother absolutely beautiful, it doesn't straight up tell you that "hey man everything is gonna be perfect in the end because your life is just a product of destiny" But instead it just shows you how much having hope in the worst of time matters. I love the fact that Ted Mosby is a hopeless romantic and he gets to find his "the one" His character made me fall in love with the idea of being head over heels crazy for one girl, I love that he is in love with the idea of being in love, but that's far from the point. I think I really resonate with Ted because of the sheer love he has for fate. It's not a rational thing to do, it doesn't make sense at all, and he knows it can be purely stupid at times, but he wouldn't give up when he's left with no options and has to turn to the universe to literally make it rain to end up with the girl he loves. I watch How I met your mother in sickness and in health, I watch it when I feel lost, I watch it when things just aren't right in my life, and I watch it when I'm hopelessly in love, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll always be grateful to it for making me who I am and inspiring me as an artist.