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soupbaddie · 10 months ago

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A Day With the Pavel Family

*only suitable for mature audiences, 18+*

While this story is fine for 13+, future parts will not be.

This story contains spoilers pertaining to Najuma and Hodari quest lines.

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"Hey! Your dad said you were wanting some tea, so I brought you some sweet leaf."

Najuma had just barely made it out of her room, still yawning, before I started talking to her.

"Oh! Um.. thanks! This will be great after dinner tonight. Thanks, Em."

I couldn't get out a reply before she took off out the front door, saying something about not wanting to forget her newest idea.

I sat back down on the couch and picked up my book. I had spent the last hour reading, waiting for Najuma to wake up. I started my day early in the hopes of getting a sernuk before it was too hot to hunt. Luckily it didn't take me too long, so I came here right after and got straight to reading.

"Hey, darlin'."

I was so lost in my book, I didn't even see or hear Hodari come through the door.

"What are you doing here so earlier? I don't usually see you 'til lunch time," he said, while giving me a grin.

"I could ask you the same. You should work while it's still cool out. Also, how did you know I was here?"

He nodded toward the door and said, "I saw Najuma come out of here with a pep in her step and I knew that meant she'd seen you."

I looked down and smiled as he made his way to the couch to sit by me. He put a hand on my thigh and I could feel a tingle move up my leg and to my spine. His touch always felt so new and made my heart race.

"What can I do for you, darlin'?"

"Oh. Nothing," I replied. "I was just out and thought I'd try to make the day easier for you by getting some steaks for dinner. Lucky for you, I was successful." I looked up at him and he was already looking back at me.

"You know you don't have to do that for me," he said quietly.

"I know but now it's one less thing for you to worry about."

"Well, I really appreciate it, Ember. You take good care of Najuma and me."

He gave my thigh a light squeeze and I felt a wave of nerves run through me.

"I wish I could help out more but, I'm a better hunter than I am a miner."

He chuckled. "Well, how about you join me in the mines today and I can give you a few tips."

"I'd like that."

He stood up and grabbed my hand to help me up then led me out the door.

I waved at Najuma as we made our way towards the mines. She smiled and waved back but I knew she was upset that she couldn't join. I was slowly convincing Hodari to let her back in the mines but it was taking more time than I'd hoped.

As we got closer, I started to feel some nervous energy creeping up inside of me. I had been working on my skills and was really hoping Hodari would notice. I didn't want him to feel like all his help in the past had been ignored. He had more patience with me than he should've and I felt like I needed to prove that I was worth the work.

"Alright, Ember, let me see what you got."

I swung the pick above my head and using the weight of it, came back down on some iron in front of me. It didn't do much but at least I hit my target this time.

"Not too bad, darlin'. You're getting better at this. Move your legs further apart, they're too close together. Now give it another swing."

I pulled back the pick again, and with better balance, was able to come down with a little more force.

"That's it. Nice swing, Em."

I let out the breath I had been holding and gave him a nod. When I went to hit a third time, I swung back too fast and lost my balance. I dropped the pick in the hopes of moving my hands in time to catch myself. Before I hit, I felt Hodari catch me.

"Take it a little slower next time. There's no rush," he said as he helped me back to my feet.

"I know we just started, but I think I'll take a break. That pick is always heavier than I remember. I'll come back once I catch my breath."

He gave me a nod of approval and I took off to find some shade. I sat under a tree close enough to the mines to see Hodari at work. He was great at his job and all those years of hard work really showed. He was strong. I could feel it when he caught me. He held me like I didn't weigh more than the pick I was swinging. I sat back and admired him. His face was so still and focused. His stance was firm and unmoving in a way I knew I'd never conquer. And his arms, his chest...

I got a weird feeling in my stomach and turned to look at something else. Any time I really stopped to look at him, these feelings would come. I wasn't very familiar with them. Existing was still pretty new.

When I arrived here, I had no idea what being human meant. I knew the basics of being alive, but I had almost no memory of where I came from or what I was before arriving. Everything I did and saw were firsts for me. The foundation of who I was was there, but nothing was built on it.

I pulled a book out of the bag I had been carrying. It wasn't the one I had thought it was but it would do.

"Stalking Prey for Beginners," I read out loud. Not as entertaining as the romance novels Caleri introduced me to but still good enough to keep me reading.

After some time passed, Hodari made his way towards me wiping sweat from his brow.

"It'll be dark by the time we get back. Don't want to keep Najuma waiting," he said.

I hadn't even realized it had gotten so late. I'd spent the whole day reading this damn book... and occasionally staring at Hodari.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I never went back to help. I got lost in reading."

I looked down, a little embarrassed, and he chuckled.

"You know I don't mind, darlin'. I'm glad you found some time for yourself to relax. You deserve that. "Now let's head back." He grabbed my hand and we walked back to the house.

Najuma was already inside waiting for us. She was at the table writing notes about her latest creation. She had yet to tell me what it is but I knew she would when she was ready for a test subject.

"Hodari, you go clean up and I'll start prepping dinner. Once you're done, I'll go next," I said.

"Sure thing, darlin." He kissed my hand then headed outside.

"So, what did you get up to today?" I asked Najuma as I started washing some potatoes.

"Oh, the same as always. Wait until dad is out of the workshop then get started on my latest projects."

She paused then said, "I found one of your books. But don't worry, I won't tell my dad."

I felt my face get hot and turned to her. "You didn't read it did you?" I started to panic.

She let out a laugh then said, "No way. I'm not into your romance books. Seeing you and my dad is gross enough."

A breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness she thought it was just some dumb romance novel. I'd hate to find out it's my fault she was introduced to smut.

Once I had calmed down, I got back to prepping the potatoes while waiting for Hodari to come back.

"Go ahead and get yourself cleaned up, darlin'. I'll take it from here."

He walked in smiling while rubbing his hair with a towel

"Oh! Perfect timing. The steaks are ready for the grill and that's definitely your job."

He laughed and took the steaks outside to cook. I followed before heading for the outdoor bathing area around the house. I washed the dirt off my skin and out of my hair and tried my best to get all the dust out of my clothes. It wasn't perfect, but I felt so much better and much more presentable.

By the time I was done, dinner was ready and the table inside was set. We all sat and enjoyed the meal.

Najuma told us about how Auni was bothering her again about joining him in bug hunting. Hodari talked about a promising new mine. To everyone's surprise, he asked Najuma to join him in checking it out and to come up with a game plan for getting it open.

He's getting there. This is a step in the right direction. I know he's having a hard time letting her back in but I think he's starting to see that keeping her from her Path is only making their relationship worse.

"I'm gonna make some tea. Do you want to try some, Em?"

"I would love some! Thank you," I replied.

She had an excited smile on her face as she got out another teacup.

Once brewed, she brought me the tea. It smelled earthy yet sweet with a hint of mint. I took a sip, and it was delicious. I know Najuma could tell I liked it because she reassured me there were plenty of leaves for another cup or two.

We all sat in silence for a while. This was pretty typical of the Pavel family and I didn't mind. I enjoyed the comfortable quiet that came with being around them.

"Thank you for trying the tea, Ember. My mom and I used to enjoy a some after dinner together. It's nice being able to do that with someone again." Najuma said quietly as she spoke into her cup. I reached out my hand and placed it on her forearm.

"Thank you for sharing something so special with me, Najuma. I'm honored," I said.

She gave me a shy but happy smile and we went back to our tea.

Hodari reached under the table, put a hand on my knee and gave it squeeze. When I looked to him, he had a soft, happy grin on his face. If he wasn't proud of me for the mining, he was for this moment.

"Well, I'm going to bed!" Najuma said as she hopped from her chair and made her way to her bedroom. We all knew she wasn't actually going to sleep but at least she pretended to.

"Don't stay up too late, now. I want you up bright and early to check out that new spot," Hodari said, but she was in her room before he even finished.

He let out a sigh and I stood up from the table.

"Leavin' so soon, darlin?"

"Not unless you want me to stay a little longer. And if you do, might I suggest we move to a more comfortable spot? Like the couch?"

"Of course I want you to stay. I can't seem to get enough time with you."

We made our way to the living area and sat down. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I saw you lost in that book today." Hodari said.

"The hunting one?" I asked.

"No, the one you forgot on the table."

I felt my face get hot. I let out a nervous laugh then replied, "Oh, that? Its nothing. Just a dumb romance book." I was too embarrassed to look at him.

"Well, I won't 5 it didn't look like nothin'," he said as he gave me a sly smile then let out a chuckled.

"So what're you plans for tomorrow, Em? If you're in the area, you're welcome to come by and say hi. You know I'll always make time for you."

I looked up into his eyes and something inside me was begging me to ask him if I could just stay forever. Not only do I hate the long walk out here but I hate always having to say goodbye.

He could tell something was wrong because his expression changed to concern when he said, "Is there something bothering you, darlin'? You can talk to me."

I couldn't even look at him when I replied, "I was wondering if you'd ever be interested in letting me stay the night?"

He started fumbling for words.

"Well, I, um, I haven't really thought about it."

I knew he was lying, but I could see a little bit of fear in his eyes.

"It's okay. I don't want to push you. I know you want to take this slow, and I understand that. But, I want you to know that I'm ready whenever you're ready."

I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, Em. I'm scared. I'm scared to get close again. I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to hurt you, and I especially don't want Najuma to go through that kind of pain again... From someone leaving... I know I shouldn't worry, but I want to make sure I'm doing this right."

He paused then quietly continued, "When I gave you my pin, I knew I wanted us to be forever."

He was no longer looking at me at this point, so I put my hand on his face and gently turned it towards me.

"Hodari, I will never know how it felt, to go through what you did, but you don't need to be afraid. There is nothing you could do that would make me want to leave." I took a deep breath. "And I decided, long before you gave me your pin, that I wanted to be with you during this life and the next."

I could see the sparkle of a tear in his eye before he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss was gentle and it set my chest on fire. All I could think of was him. I was lost in his kiss as the room around us disappeared.

I felt one of his hands cup the back of my head while the other found its way to my hip. He kissed me deeper and I couldn't get enough. I kept one hand on his face and placed the other over his heart. It was beating fast. Faster than I would've expected from someone so stoic.

I don't know how much time had passed before we were interrupted but the creak of a door.

We both jumped in surprise and turned to see Najuma sneaking out for her nightly session in the workshop.

Hodari gave her a disapproving look then said, "I'm just gonna pretend I don't see you sneakin' out right now. But don't forget you have a busy day tomorrow."

Najuma slipped out the front door without saying anything.

Hodari let out a sigh.

"Sorry 'bout that. I should've known she'd be out here soon," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He'd never admit it, but he was embarrassed. Admittedly, I was too.

"It's alright," I said. "You need to be getting to bed soon, anyways. You also have a busy day tomorrow, and it's getting late. I'll stop by breakfast in the morning."

I stood up and made my way towards the front door. I needed to get going or it would be the next day before I even got home.

"Ember, wait."

Hodari stood up and made his way towards me. He took my hands in his.

"Why don't you stay here for the night, darlin'?"

I gasped. "Are you sure? Like, totally sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable if you're not ready."

"I'm sure."

"Okay... Well, I can just stay on the couch if that will make you more comfortable."

He gave me a flirtatious smirk before leaning in close to me. I could feel his breath on my neck when he whispered in my ear, "I'll get my bed set for two."

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Hey! If you've read this far, you're a Saint. This came out so much longer than planned. This is my first time writing something that wasn't required of me. I'm still learning and would love feedback. Criticism is welcome as long as it's nice because I take everything personally. If this gets a positive response, I'd love to write a part 2, but it will be NSFW. Let me know, and thanks for reading!

Feel free to share because I'm too scared to 😅

#palia #palia game #palia fanfic #palia hodari #hodari #hodaddy #please be kind #im embarrassed #long post

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empiresgleam · 9 months ago

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Sneak peak of the forthcoming Chapter 8 of Empires Gleam, in which Merlin has gone back in time to save them all, and ended up in a friends-with-benefits situation with Arthur. Mutual pining while having sexy trysts all over the place... chef's kiss.

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"Ready? Pull!" shouted Arthur, drawing his bow.

Merlin flicked a hand and a clay disc ricocheted into the air. Arthur took the shot and felt in his bones that it was flying true towards the target. But at the last second the disc zinged out of the way and the arrow landed harmlessly in the grass.

"Sorry? Should I go easier on you?" asked Merlin, with an innocent smile.

Arthur glared. “I can't handle anything you’ve got, Merlin.”

Merlin smirked and crooked a finger to pick up Arthur's arrow and float it back to him.

"Again," sighed Arthur. "Ready? Pull!"

This time, the arrow hit the clay disc dead on, but Arthur knew enough about Merlin now to anticipate the second surprise disc. He whipped a dagger out of the top of his boot and threw it, managing to hit the second target mostly by sheer luck.

Merlin's jaw dropped open.

"Arthur, ye gods," he said.

"That's what happens when you’ve been trained to kill since b-" said Arthur, but was cut off by Merlin's mouth landing hotly on his.

Afterwards, when they were lying on the grass, letting the night air cool their heated skin, Merlin asked, "Do you want to tell the others about this place?"

Arthur looked around the aerie, at the neat acres of mossy grass, the high stone walls covered in thick ivy that looked a hundred years old, the blossoming trees, the cozy outbuildings. He took in the whole massive arena, ringed with iron braziers, a fire burning merrily in all of them, giving a warm tone to Merlin's skin that matched his eyes, which were more often gold than blue here.

"Not right now. But eventually," he conceded. "Only because it seems a shame to let all your hard work go unappreciated."

Merlin pressed his face into Arthur's shoulder, pleased as a cat at this simple compliment.

"But not now, right?" Merlin said. "It's too– too– convenient to give up."

"Right. Exactly," said Arthur, with a shiver. Convenient. That's all it was.

------

Then there was the quiet summer morning when the unicorn stepped out of the trees.

Merlin looked at Arthur's raised crossbow, looked at the unicorn, remembered a labyrinth and a beach and a riddle of poison.

Arthur put a finger to his lips.

Merlin tackled him into the dirt.

“Wow, unnecessary,” said Arthur. “I wasn’t going to shoot it. I remember the story of the prat and the unicorn.”

“Couldn't risk it,” said Merlin. “Can't rest my whole fate on whether you are or are not a prat.”

He was lying heavy on top of Arthur, panting.

Arthur said, “You know, I’ve heard that unicorns only appear to virgins. If you’re so worried, we could make sure that neither of us ever sees one again.”

He grinned, thrust his hips suggestively, and reached up for a kiss.

Merlin tasted salt on his tongue and remembered the smell of the sea, sitting across from Arthur, two goblets between them, deciding who would die to save Camelot from the unicorn’s curse.

Tomorrow, instead of making a noble sacrifice for each other’s lives, they would probably trade furtive kisses in the armoury.

And– momentarily– horribly– Merlin wished he’d let the unicorn die.

“No!” Merlin pushed off Arthur and got to his feet roughly. “It’s getting late. Let’s get back.”

He felt the pressure of Arthur’s gaze, but avoided it all the way home.

------

New chapters coming soon to Ao3.

#merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #snippet #empires gleam #merlin/arthur #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #fic rec

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madschiavelique · 3 days ago

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Can I request a Karlach x fem reader (she/her pronouns)? I would love a little angst where reader's faith begins to wane in the party because she thinks they aren't staying focused on removing the tadpoles from themselves. I would love it to end with with some fluff or smut where tav comes back to Karlach and the team.

Thank you for all of the work your putting into these requests.

i might have derived a tiny bit from the request but i hope you'll like it!! i have no idea if it's good or bad i have no perception

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ pairing : karlach x fem!reader

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ content warning : angst, but don't worry comfort afterwards, fem!reader (although i think it could be read as gn!reader), no use of y/n

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ words : 1,5k

( not proofread, english is not my first language ☆)

You looked at your full glass of wine. It had only been served to you once all evening, while your companions themselves were on their third. The dark, almost black crimson of the liquid reflected your seriousness and concern, sawing your forehead in anxious frowns.

You had reached Baldur's Gate not so long ago, you had never been so close to your objectives, and yet what had you done when you arrived?

You'd wandered into a circus.

A circus, as ridiculous as it gets, was the first thing on your agenda. You had the end of the world to save, were close to the city that had been your target for months, and this was the first thing the group went to?

Admittedly, it might have helped the crew relax to have a moment without having to worry about whether they'd turn into octopuses in the next few minutes, but for your part, you couldn't get the objective out of your head.

You still had so much to do before you could even scratch the surface of your objectives, like finding the grave of the madman locked in a medallion found in the Underdark, confronting Gortash and Orin, or even finding the remains of Dribbles who were scattered who knows where.

You had so much to think about. You hadn't even reached the drawbridge that would take you into the city, too busy in the meantime neutralising enemies in the circus.

Night had fallen on the camp for a while now, and all the companions were discussing the various things they wanted to do once in the city. Astarion wanted to take revenge on Cazador, Gale was desperate to get to Lorroakan's tower, Wyll needed to see his father, and your real objective seemed to get lost in all this.

You had moved slightly away from the camp, watching the town from your campsite, sitting on a large chopped log. All the days ahead would take you horribly slowly towards The Absolute.

“What's got you so worked up, soldier?”

You didn't need to turn around, Karlach's warm, high-spirited voice was easy to spot. Given your departure from the group earlier in the evening, it was probably only a matter of time before she came to see you.

Karlach cared about you, and you about her, more than you would have thought. A cold sweat ran down your spine every day as your eyes inevitably landed on her beating heart, staining her chest orange.

You had almost come to hate that colour. Every day the sun bathed the world, morning and evening, with its golden caress, and marked with a hot iron seal one less day in the rest of those Karlach could live.

Another annoyance that would keep you from the Absolute, another problem that could lead you to lose more than just a friend, to lose a lover…

“Worked up?” you feigned, as if the remark were ridiculous, “I'm not worked up.”

She giggled behind you, and walked over to sit next to you on the log, towering over you slightly. You could feel her gentle eyes on you, a small smile on her face as her gaze returned to the horizon.

“You look tenser than Gale when he has to hear someone massacre ‘literature's accuracy’,” her claws mimicked the signs of quotation hooks in the air.

You smiled, crossing your arms over your chest as you recalled the day when Gale, too banged up from the day, had asked Karlach to read aloud to him an extract from one of his books taken during the trip.

“He'd be ready to pounce on anyone in seconds if that happened,” you sneered.

“But you're not pouncing,” she remarked, “you're brooding, or more like, looking super anxious.”

You turned towards her, finally meeting her gaze. “Am I now ?”

“Yeah you are,” Karlach laughed softly, gently nudging you with her shoulder.

For a brief moment, there was silence again as your eyes watched the glow of the city in the distance. You were already wondering what order to go through tomorrow, what equipment to change, what food to stock up on...

“Hey... Are you okay ?” questioned your lover, obviously noticing the annoyance on your face. “Wanna talk about it ?”

Her warm hand came to rest on your shoulder, bringing you back to reality much less abruptly than you might have thought. Her warmth softened you, wrapped you up like a comforting blanket, and eased all your worries.

“It's just,” you shrugged, “the Absolute has been haunting us for months, we have never been closer to it before, and yet we can't help but go do so many other things beforehand?”

Your head fell back, closing your eyes as if to banish from your mind the countless quests that awaited you once you had passed through the city gates. As if your mind didn't even have the power to think about anything else, just to detach itself from the addictive thought that a worm had latched onto your brain and was planning to turn you away from humanity at the slightest misstep.

“It's like at times I can feel the thing just- writhing in my brain, trying to go deeper and deeper to what's left of me and clasp its nasty teeth on it until I'm one of theirs.”

Your head fell into one of your hands, pinching the bridge of your nose as if that would bring any relief.

“How many quests will it take ? How many more enemies will we have to bring down for there to only be one remaining to end ?” Your chin rested on your palm, eyes once again on the city and the multitude of problems it would single-handedly bring.

Karlach was silent for a moment, but you could feel her gaze on your profile.

“Didn't know this had you all so worked up, little one,” she said, giving you a gentle nudge. “But get it this way: do you know how long some of our champs have been waiting for an opportunity like this to happen?”

Your eyes found the floor, for you felt very stupid. It was probably true, the opportunity of a lifetime, to put down the past once and for all and move on. If you had never been so close to ending your most important objective, it was the same for them.

Some of them had waited years, decades, some even centuries, to even get close to what they wanted most in the world. Who wouldn't want to tick every box on their list of the most extreme things to do when they were all dangerously close to death's door? Who wouldn't seize the opportunity to act and finish off whatever bitterness still resided in their hearts and wish a complete farewell to what had tormented them so much?

Karlach came and took hold of your chin to turn your face towards hers, her gaze full of gentleness.

“Don't be mad at them for shooting their shot, they've been weaponless long enough.”

You grabbed her wrist, bringing her warm palm against your cheek as you sighed at ease.

You knew who was waiting for you in town, who she had to see, who she had to kill. Gortash was on Karlach's list, and therefore on yours. Your eyes rested on Karlach's chest, the orange glow of her heart beating through her ribs and over pouring on the black of her bra.

One look at that contraption was enough to make your own veins boil. Karlach had her revenge too, and you weren't going to stop her getting it.

“If you were on the edge of death’s cliff, wouldn’t you want to get all the things you didn’t have the courage to do before standing on it ?”

You felt her hand on your back, gently rubbing it. You knew how getting closer to death made people want to be alive more than ever, and you couldn’t take that away from them. Not when you wanted to pass every last minute with Karlach, not when you wanted her to find relief in the death of her tormentor, not when you wanted to do anything other than fight.

“You're right, love,” you smiled, winning her eyes, “there's been so many things to think about lately and all I want is for all of you to come back out of this in one piece.” You sighed, kissing her palm before pressing your cheek against it again. “It's my priority to keep you all alive.”

She smiled, and all your worries seemed to vanish like a dandelion scattering in the air. She placed a kiss on the tip of your nose, pressing her forehead against yours.

“I promise you we will outlive this, okay?”

You didn't feel any destructive heat from Karlach. So much had been done with her flames to make them violent, starving them and letting them devour everything in their path. From the inferno, you felt only a soft, comforting, free warmth.

“Okay.”

Karlach came and placed a kiss on your forehead, holding you close. No matter what happened, you would do everything you could to allow everyone to do what they had to do, each step bringing you a little closer to an end, victorious or not.

#mads' requests ⟢ ݁ ˖‧˚₊ ☁︎#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 x reader #bg3 karlach #karlach bg3 #karlach #karlach cliffgate #karlach x reader #karlach x you #karlach x tav

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dlatl98 · 20 days ago

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There is no truth here.

"Dear Lord of Eregion. I am sorry to have invited you to such an inappropriate time and place. However, considering the difficult situation I was in, I dare to ask for your forgiveness." "Why are you being so snobby?" "….Am I still your lover? You have betrayed me both inside and out?" "No, what I meant was, why are you being so polite to a prisoner in the first place, but I have never betrayed you. You were the only one who betrayed me." "How can you say such a thing?"

Sauron stood up immediately. The iron chair was thrown to the ground. For now, Celebrimbor was sitting on a cushioned chair. He would soon be seated on another chair, as his uncle had explained. Sauron muttered rapidly.

"I never liked elves, but I was relieved that at least when I married an elf I wouldn't have to worry about my spouse's infidelity, and then I was the first to endure an elf husband's betrayal! Should I have expected that? You've always been one to pursue the unknown and the new. Your family too! Your great-grandfather was the first elf to remarry, your family was the first to murder their own kind, and your uncle was the first to successfully commit suicide. And now it's your turn? The first to betray a husband?"

Celebrimbor felt a little relieved. It seemed that his uncle’s fate had been less cruel than he had imagined in his heart. Or was Sauron lying even at this moment to exaggerate his own suffering? Before that, there were too many flaws in Sauron’s logic.

“That’s impossible. I may be versatile, but I can’t betray my non-existent lover.” "……." "I don't have a husband. Many people misunderstand, but the core of an elven marriage is not sex, but the oath to Eru. Even if you don't sleep together, if you call Eru together and swear to accept each other as your spouse, it's marriage. I've never sworn to Eru with anyone. In fact, since the person who take my first never existed, I could be called a virgin. Because no one can claim my first. Isn't that amazing?"

Sauron can kill people with just a glance, so it is an exaggeration to say that Sauron's gaze that glares at Celebrimbor while he is alive could capture people. In any case, his logic must have struck a chord with Sauron. The target of his betrayal changed. "…You stole the technology I taught you." "To be more precise, it is a technology we discovered together." "We may have refined it together, but it was something I discovered. And you cannot ignore my contribution and share in the development process. No, you contributed to my technology." "What do you have to say about me making my own things with my technology?" "It is my technology. You should have informed me, and you cannot hide it from me. Tell me where you hid the rings, especially the three rings." "Don't be ridiculous! Then give me the One Ring first! According to your logic, ownership is created just by contributing to the development of the technology used, even if you did not contribute to the production process, so the One Ring is mine! Give it back!"

Sauron was about to shout along, but his expression changed to one of placating sobriety. "The One Ring is mine. Unlike your technology, which is subordinate to mine, the technology to create the One Ring is entirely mine, and I have put my power, my very being, into it. This is me, and I have no master. But…"

Sauron stroked Celebrimbor's still intact cheek. The black iron gently touched the delicate flesh. "You may not have the Ring, but perhaps you can have me. Tyelpe, I am the Giver. There is so much I can give, so much I would give, if you would only ask. I have forgiven you, My precious, and let us be reconciled. Accept my forgiveness. But tell me just one simple thing. Where are the Rings? You do not need to bring them to me. Just tell me where they are and I will go and get them."

Celebrimbro pulled back his chin. "You are mistaken. It is you who should be forgiven, not me. You who turned our precious technology and discoveries into monsters. You who made everything ours your own, destroyed it, and corrupted it. You are still trying to deceive me with your cunning tongue. Do you really want to make me your accomplice?"

"Perhaps lovers and accomplices are not so different, My precious. Think about it. Even if you stand up to me here bravely, someone outside will say it was your fault in the first place. They will blame you for welcoming 'Annatar' in the first place. Those fools who think that their feeble strength and innocence are protected when they are not tested will not think that you could not see through my transformation, that the High King and Lady rejected me simply because they were narrow-minded, and that they have enjoyed a life thanks to the generosity and courage that made you accept me, and the development of Middle-earth. They will blame you and make you my accomplice just because you were my lover. To them, you are already my accomplice. And if you tell me where the rings are, as a predestined surrender, they will forget that you held out, fought and resisted for them, and they will blame you again. Didn't your uncle tell you? Your defeat is fixed, your accomplice is already in progress, and you will receive no reward, but only a stigma. That's all. This is already going to happen to them, so how about just making it easier for you?"

"Are you a lover or an accomplice who wants to be with me now?"

“As I said before, the two are no different. If you sit next to me and they kneel to you. And even if you don’t, even if I tie you up and torture you, to them you are already my accomplice. Why should you suffer for those people?"

The voice that came out like a sigh was heartbreaking. “……If that’s all I can give them.”

The metal fingers extended like snakes and dug roughly into his hair. He pulled. His head fell back violently, and their eyes met. “Why should you give them something?” “If only I could lessen the price they pay for my misjudgments and arrogance. If only I could give them a little time.” “You give them something, and you apologize to them, but you give me nothing, and you apologize to me for nothing.”

The voice that gnashed his teeth was so familiar that he wanted to laugh. In fact, he wanted to cry. On the list of people Annatar thought of, there were people he had to lose, even if Annatar didn't know them. There were those he shouldn’t have lost. Before they parted, he hadn’t heard his father’s soft voice for too long. He was always angry. It really seemed like it was time to part with him, too. “I gave… to them… and to Annatar. But it was a void, and what I gave was scattered into thin air. There is nothing left for me now.”

"My precious, Trust me. There is always more to lose. There is a floor beneath the floor. There is always a further fall. My treasure. You still have a choice.”

The cold fingers dug deeper into his head. "Love, or death. All or nothing." "……."

"Actually, this isn't even a choice. Tell me. It's just whether it's early or late. I'll know it all someday. You know that too."

"…always…you were like that. You were always too obsessed with the outcome. You were always too hasty. You would overlook the precious moments and treasures hidden in the process and period. You are Maia, not a fragile life like an elf, but a true immortal. You could have just waited to head towards that star with everyone, but in the end, you decided to go first and get the star, and trampled everyone who was clinging to it and everyone in your path with your iron feet. After all, Who will you enjoy it with when you get the star? Who and why are you doing this? Is it only you for you? It will be only you."

"That might not be the case."

"......"

"It could be us. Tyelpe. Think about it. Maybe this is for everyone you are trying to protect. You are by my side, giving me advice and sharing everything with me. You can truly protect the world. You can protect me. Don't abandon everyone, yourself and me, now because of your empty pride. There is nothing left for you to protect your pride. If you take my hand and reign as the Lord of Lord, you can truly help everyone." "No, that can't be." "……."

Celebrimbor glanced at the hand holding his head, then glared at the other hand, the one with the ring. Even though he was just a miserable captive, he didn't even try to grab the ringed hand. "You're wrong. We don't exist. Rather, I'm the first elf to have my husband taken away. It took my husband away." “You are the one who betrayed me!” “Is there anyone left for me to betray? Take off the One Ring and give it to me. Show me if there is anyone out there who has taken it off!” "No!" "Look at that!"

A look of miserable satisfaction flashed across Celeborimbor’s face. Sauron growled, letting go of his hair and hastily hiding his hand. “I cannot trust you. Let me trust you first. Tell me where the rings are!”

Celebrimbor gave a short, harsh laugh. "Oh my Valar, I thought you were teasing me and I clapped back, but you're starting to believe your lies. You were a shameless liar before, but you never fooled yourself! You started a war when I made three rings. At the same time, you're not a fool, you knew that if you started a war, I'd take those rings away. There is no place where the rings are less than here, but you attacked here, so you don't need them. You came to catch me because you knew that I could make a ring that wasn't stained by your hands, and that I could, by chance, develop further and make a more dangerous ring. You came to kill your rival. You could never let me live. You were afraid of me! And you began to believe the lies you told to hide it. Poor me. If you had just admitted that you were afraid of me, that you couldn't control me and that you were afraid of my abilities, I could have died cleanly. I wouldn't have been tortured to answer questions you didn't even know about, but now you've deceived yourself and I'm going to die in torture and pain.

Next to you? You can't let me live. You had to kill me, so you made up excuses that I betrayed you, and you made up false possibilities, things like I could have been by your side, to make me out to be a terrible traitor who deserved to be killed. And now you believe it! And you're even trying to fool me! To better deceive yourself! You have lost the ability to check and criticize yourself. The ring has consumed you. Now when I sleep with you, I'm sleeping with the ring, right? Is it like sleeping with dead metal, not even a living thing. I'd rather sleep with an orc than you! At least they're alive!"

he thought he would regret saying it because it was such a mean thing to say, but he ended up not having to regret it. The enraged Sauron grabbed Celebrimbor by the collar with both hands and pulled him up. His throat was choked, his breath caught in his throat. It was something that matched the painful satisfaction he felt looking into Sauron’s burning eyes. “If you wish, I can do it. If you choose everyone but me, I will let you sleep with them all. If you betray me so, I will let you betray me. If you choose everyone but me, everyone alive to you, I will let you wallow with them even after you are dead. I will give you everything you choose. If you choose me, godliness, and true life, you will have it all. If you choose everything but me, betrayal and death, you will have it all. I will kill you and kill everyone. I will let you sleep with everyone but me, who you love so much, alive and dead! Shall we start with the Orcs? There are many who would like to have fun with the Elf Lord.”

Celebrimbor laughed breathlessly. He looked up at him, holding his hands as he dragged him by the collar. He glared. “Do as you wish! Who cares? But I have a suggestion. If you are not afraid, do it all yourself. This is our business. Let us not involve others. Let us see the end for ourselves. Otherwise, you are a coward.”

Of course, according to what he said, he is already a coward. But the final provocation seemed to have been useful. Celebrimbor felt his final satisfaction when Sauron himself grabbed him with both hands and dragged him to the torture chamber.

#silvergifting

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our-transmasculine-experience · 10 months ago

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im about 99% sure im trans but ive been struggling to do anything about it or come out for a while. admitting something like that to my friends (even though two of them are trans themselves) and asking for something from them feels reallyyyyy revealing in a way ive been struggling to get past because ironically i think them understanding it so well it would make me feel more open. my mom has that middle aged woman mentality of “we hate men” and while i know she doesnt actually hate men she definitely holds some views against them and makes negative comments about testosterone and such, and im worried coming out will not only come with misunderstandings but also her seeing my differently. my sister has always been weird about trans people and while shes queer herself and has trans friends the way she talks about them sometimes makes it feel like she doesnt really see them how they want to be seen (shes also makes half joking remarks about how “am i sure im not nb?” but when the idea of me being a trans man comes up she gets weirdly adverse to it, even if she claims its a joke or not serious). my dad has a lot of concerningly right wing views and has made transphobic remarks before and im worried if he finds out its only gonna cause problems. doing anything at school about it would make me feel like i put a target on my back and i dont think i could handle that. theres also that percentage of doubt thats still there that im not actually trans and will be causing problems for no reason and the idea that ill never be seen how i want or be happy with myself so why even bother. sorry for rambling but i really just wanted to put my concerns down somewhere.

i’m so sorry to hear that. this sounds like a really difficult situation and i really hope things get better for you. if you did come out, i’d come out to your friends first to see how they handle it. i’m sure they’ll support you!

best of luck!

#transgender #ftm #trans guy #trans #trans boy #trans man #transmasc #lgbtq #queer #lgbt

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luxe-pauvre · 2 years ago

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This promise, however, is mostly false. It’s what the philosopher Plato called a “noble lie”, a myth that justifies the fundamental arrangement of society. Plato taught that if people didn’t believe the lie, then society would fall into chaos. And one particular noble lie gets us to believe in the value of hard work. We labor for our bosses’ profit, but convince ourselves we’re attaining the highest good. We hope the job will deliver on its promise, and hope gets us to put in the extra hours, take on the extra project and live with the lack of a raise or the recognition we need. […] Secular, 21st-century residents of wealthy countries don’t worry much about whether we’re God’s elect. But we’re still trapped in the Calvinist cage. We are anxious to demonstrate to potential employers, and to ourselves, that we are work saints. Like divine election, this type of status is an abstract condition that we cannot assign to ourselves, but one we hope others will recognize. When our status anxiety wells up, we reach back into our culture’s religious heritage for a balm: hard, disciplined work. For example, Tristen Lee, a millennial-generation British public-relations worker, tells a too-familiar story of how long hours, lack of sleep, no real time off, and excessive rent keep her in the grind. “I throw my absolute heart and soul into” work, she writes. “I am so obsessed with reaching some notable level of success and hitting my financial targets, that I’ve forgotten how to actually enjoy life.” Lee says she feels as if she has “something to prove – but to who?” To herself, Weber would say. Lee’s experience is the 21st-century echo of 16th-century Calvinist theology. She has internalized the all-seeing judgment of a society that values her only insofar as she works, so she feels a need to assure herself of her worth. But there can never be enough assurance; in the present-day work ideology, your accomplishments matter less than your constant effort toward the next accomplishment. “What is the end result?” Lee asks. “When does the constant agonizing stop? At what point do we reach satisfaction in life and think ‘fuck yeah, I’m really proud of what I’ve achieved and how far I’ve come’?” Well, never. That’s what it means to be in an iron cage.

Jonathan Malesic, Your work is not your god: welcome to the age of the burnout epidemic

#Jonathan Malesic #Your work is not your god: welcome to the age of the burnout epidemic

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mslanna · 9 months ago

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Forever Is All Today

Epilogue of Be My Guest now up on AO3 Thank you all so very much for your support and encouragement, 🤗

Don't you ever tire of it? Wyll asked about Avernus. But the answer was no. If Tav woke up entangled in varying limbs of their devil every morning for the rest of their life, it wouldn't be one day too many.

Raphael's tail wrapped tightly around their ankle, arms and wings thrown over their body haphazardly – the devil doesn't sleep often. But when he does, it is a luxury without compare.

And Tav receives visitors in the House of Hope now. If any desire to come. But over time the uneasy tolerance whittles down. Astarion was the first, naturally. With no day and night in Avernus, he wasn't restricted by the time of day. Something he now doesn't have to worry about any longer.

Tav thinks of the thin line of chain links of pale silver on his pale skin. Testing that out had been adrenaline inducing. Setting their friend out into the sun, prepared for the worst with healing spells and potions. The utter exhilaration when nothing happened at all. The look of sheer joy on Astarion's face. That day they celebrated with all festivities the day had to offer.

His visits to Avernus became fewer, but never stopped. And Tav spent most of their days in Faerûn anyway. Travelling with an enthusiastic Astarion. Visiting Gale. The hustle when Duke Ravengard announced his retirement in favour of his son. And of course, the panicky wedding preparations because Karlach rather be damned than have a politically accurate, aristocratic wedding.

Now that had been a day to remember and a night to match. Raphael even agreed to make an appearance, however short. His presence did not cause a brawl. His congratulations were accepted. He danced with Tav and that memory burned brightly under their skin whenever a waltz played.

Life is good, even as Raphael prepares to conquer Stygia. The five hells he rules reluctantly accepted their fate, his ambition is far from sated. And Stygia is an easier target than the hub of infernal bureaucracy or judiciary.

Someday he will scheme and plan to overthrow Asmodeus himself. But Raphael is wary. He wants eight hells united behind him when that campaign starts. Tav made their peace with never seeing him as archdevil supreme. They have today and every day of their life.

Tav yearns for this moment to last forever. Free. Happy. Cherished by the one they love. Raphael's face is heavy on their chest, his horns snug against their face. The familiar scent of ash, iron, and horn balm is home. Tav sighs and runs their fingers through the devil's hair.

"You are sad." Raphael reads them like the cheap novel they are in his presence. "What for?"

"That this isn't forever." Tav closes their eyes to concentrate on every impression of their body.

The devil turns his head up and Tav feels his breath under their chin. "Says the one who argued ferociously about the true beauty being transient. We can pick up that battle any moment."

"I am transient," Tav chuckles. "I must die."

"Do you now?" Raphael props himself up and stares his human down with black eyes ringed with fire. "Do you really?"

Tav hears the promise in his words, the temptation. "After my soul again?" They raise a brow. "Forgot how that played out the last time?"

"Never." He leans down to kiss their lips gently. "But why not give it to me while you are here anyway?"

"Raph-" he stops them with another soft kiss, barely a touch of his lips to theirs.

"Hear me out."

Tav sighs, looking into eyes that hold their universe in their black holes. "Alright. For a kiss."

Raphael obliges and if the long, tender exploration of their mouth is to put Tav into a lenient mood, they let it slip. Tav drinks in the taste of him, luxuriating in the weight of his body and heaviness of his kiss.

When he pulls back, they cradle his head with both hands. "Let's hear it then."

"A deal." Raphael smiles and runs his index finger over Tav's lips. "You grant me your soul for as long as I love you."

Tav chuckles. "I will still die, love."

"Not if in return, I grant you life for as long as you love me."

Dumbfounded, Tav stares up at their double-dealing devil.

"No need to answer right away." Raphael leans down, his breath caressing their face. "Let me bring some more arguments to the table."

When his mouth touches against Tav's lips again, soft and yet demanding, they know that this isn't an argument they can win. But they can make the devil work for it. With a grin, Tav wraps their arms around him and pulls him close.

#bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael x tav #mel writes fanfic #be my guest #epilogue #sleazy second-hand car dealer #thank you all

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cutechickdgaming · 1 year ago

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cutechickd Service Announcement for my fellow fricks

tl;dr: Research before reblog

Recently I’ve been tagged to a reblog-this-please-don’t-scroll-spread-awareness type of post. Don’t worry, xjumbled-up-brainx, I don’t blame you 🫂. You @’ing me did encourage to make this post, after all :D.

Context: Someone found a Twitter post about creating a new flag (r*pesexual, and yes, I fully agree that is abhorrent, ironic or not). I looked through the reblogs and replies of the OG tumblr signal boost post, and I see a lot of general agreement that the Twitter post was satire and bait like “superstraight” (thing is, satire should be FUNNY, not glorifying sexual crimes).

It does make sense to me, some people (like “4chan grifters” as some people said in the discussion) do want to take the opportunity to slander LGBTQ+ with disgusting filth like this for ammunition, though yeah I understand the possibility people unironically (aka not trolling) believing in flags like this, just like...UGH...MAP-pride. I lean more towards thinking actual r*pists wanting to hide in the shadows and not put a proud label on themselves for everyone to see and (rightfully) target.

A major point I need to make in this post is thinking twice to resist the pathos attraction of these signal boost REBLOG PLEASE posts. Pathos is arguably the most effective rhetorical appeal, however it can be the most unethical of them all. All the reblog text with bright rainbow colors, enlarged Times New Roman font, and such are so easy to catch, leaving you barely any time to think if there’s a catch.

What if the enemies want attention? Should you give publicity to these trolls so easily? Is there a more effective and non-panic-provoking way that could better render these awful “-sexuals” obsolete?

These are decent standard questions to ask yourself. I’d rather take a step back and make a plan to deal with the problem at hand within my power than reblog something that’s gonna disrupt my escapism silly Tumblr (the RB thread looks as long as that one Dream tweet that started the “I’m not reading allat” thing) because some Internet rando tried to grab me by the figurative reins and told me I’m going to hell if I don’t do it.

Like actually

Buddy, this is not the Old Testament (/hj, coming from a Christian).

Ahem, I think that’s enough for me to show you why I don’t really like these “Don’t scroll past this!!” “BOOST!” “This is IMPORTANT!” posts, it’s WAY too much emotional demand, like it actually gives me distress, and I don’t want that for the rest of you guys. It makes choking someone by the neck look like a nice casual massage.

I’ll end it here. If you spot any dangerous people like actual r*pists and p*dophiles who are out (or fantasizing about) to harm real people, make sure they get legal consequences, like reported and handed over to the authorities. Those scum need discipline and shame via effective action.

#idk what tags to use here #my little PSA?#ima have to rely on my followers and their dashboard to understand my concerns #ima go play star rail now

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viky2318 · 2 years ago

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Blep

Maddy got up way earlier than usual. She was 100% sure she heard a sound. Not another intrusion… The one from Fresh, last week, already had been enough stress. The whole time she was ready to summon her staff and cut off the skeleton's head. She quietly sighed and got up. She slowly got out of the room, making sure to not wake up the others. She heard again the noise (it was something falling on the floor), this time followed by someone cursing. It was coming from the kitchen. The cat walked in front of the room and peeked through the opened door. There was an Error Sans with an outfit that resembled Ink’s one, and a huge digital pen on his back. Differently from many of the usual Errors, he wore his glasses. The skeleton picked up the iron pot he accidentally made fall down and put it on the table. “Oh darnit, someone might have heard this one” he murmured. The skeleton looked around (for a second Maddy risked getting caught), then commented: “So… we’re right in the mouth of the wolf, aren’t we? Heh, we can do this. Right Penny?”. Geez, if this wasn’t a strange guy. It was, like, an Error swapped with Ink. Who was the fool that created this demon? And most importantly, how did he find their place? Maddy decided to go warn the others, but the door of the kitchen suddenly opened completely and the guy saw them. Oh well, she tried. The skeleton half smiled and said: “So you are one of the so-called ‘Alternative Killers’, aren’t you?”. Maddy tilted her head a bit in confusion. “Uhh, sorry? Who are those guys? Never been in a rock band. It sounds like a rock band’s name…”. “Don’t play dumb, murderer! You and your friends go around killing alternative versions of Sans, without any distinction! And I'm here to stop you all” he stated. “Aahnnnnnn”, Maddy nodded. “You are talking about us! Who the hell gave us this name? It honestly sucks. Was it Fresh? He probably also told you how to reach this place… That damn asshole... Listen, tiny SwapError. Don’t risk your life with us-” “I’m not him! My name is Template!” the skeleton interrupted her. The cat heard someone moving. The others must have heard them, good. “Oh well, Template. Your shouting just burned down your only possibility to take your time. Right now I'm in a VERY good mood, so you have time to disappear until the others arrive" they declared. The skeleton stood still, apparently not wanting to go away. In a few seconds, Grillby came down. He saw the guy and stopped. "Who's the kid?" he asked. The cat smiled and answered, summoning their weapon: "our next target, apparently. He decided to play the hero and 'stop' us. By the way, what do you mean by 'stop'? You want to kill us, or just beat the hell out of us? I'm confused". Shortly after Muffet came. Template took the pen from his back and held it like a sword. But before anything else could happen, Sam appeared.

They seemed about to ask something, but then they saw the skeleton. Template immediately exclaimed: "Sam! it's been a while, isn't it? Wait, why are you… Oh! They kidnapped you!? Don't worry, I'll beat the hell out of them!". Sam smiled and shook their head. "no, no! No need to hurt anyone. They are helping me. They're good guys" they explained. Maddy looked at the two of them. Sam knew him? And wasn't trying to kill him, nor was annoyed by his presence?! Who was this guy? Muffet and Grillby looked as confused as them. "Please everyone, put down the weapons. We don't want to hurt each other, do we?" Sam said. Maddy reluctantly made her staff disappear, and the skeleton put his pen on his back. The human took a deep breath, then asked Template: "Now, dear friend. How did you find me? And to what do I owe this visit?". He immediately explained: "I wanted to find those murderers that keep going around killing alternative versions of Sans! Fresh a few days ago told me where to find them and I took a little time to organize a plan. It seemed like a familiar timeline, but I forgot it was this place. And honestly, I wasn't expecting to find you here! You work with them?". Sam sighed, some sort of sad, melancholic tone in their voice.. "I see. Well, you can't understand something that has never been explained to you. We could say… I'm their manager? Dunno how to put it down, honestly. I organize the thing and they help me make it real. Want to take a seat?". They and the skeleton got in the kitchen, and Sam made him sit down before taking a seat themselves. Maddy immediately stood in front of both of them and stated: "We clearly need some explanations, Sam. What is happening? Who's the kid here? Why aren't we killing him like the others?". Sam smiled. "oh c'mon Maddy! You sound like you like killing people! He is Template, an old friend of mine" he explained. "A friend? A Sans? Weren't they, like, the cause of all the suffering and stuff?" Muffet asked. Sam made them sit down and quietly gave them explanations.

"You see, to understand clearly you have to know that I didn't always exist, nor I was born and grew up like a normal living being. I just… appeared. I was alone, in the middle of nothing and at the same time in the middle of everything. The Void. But not just any void. An Undertale timeline's Void. The only other thing there was an old boomer doing nothing the whole day, and he wasn't much of a talker. So I decided to try to escape. And, yeah, I failed. A lot of times. I started asking for help, begging. Losing hope. That's how he found me. He helped me get out of the Void, and showed me what was outside of it. He explained to me how this world worked and helped me discover my abilities. After some time I left his place to discover the multiverse by myself, and I never saw him again. It's kind of hard to meet a specific person accidentally in the middle of the multiverse…". Template huffed. "You could have paid me a visit!" He commented. "Oh. You're right… Sorry" Sam awkwardly answered. The skeleton looked at the human with concern. "Seriously though, what's this all about? Killing innocents… you've never been a cruel person!". Sam held back the laughter, but was also a little annoyed by the comment. "pfft- sorry? Cruelty? Who's being cruel? Truth to be told, I'm doing exactly what you usually do. I just extended it to the whole problem. Sanses condemn these realities to eternal sufference with their mistakes and choices. But if we eliminate them, the spotlight will be moved to someone else and the creator will come back creating beautiful things, as they did at the beginning of everything!". Template clearly felt a little offended by his sentence. Offended and scared. "W-what? Sam, this doesn't make any sense. Not everyone is evil! Just because the creators use mostly Sans as a base, doesn't mean he is the problem! I'm sure that, no matter which character they will use, there will be some good and some evil creations. Just look at me, or at Ink! We aren't evil, nor do we want people to suffer or to-… Sam? Are you listening?". The gray human was silent, a sad aura coming from them. They sighed again. "You really don't see the problem, do you? This huge quantity of the same character is the problem. For the creators it's simple to take a story and modify it a little, and if you can't repair a thing the only way to change it is to make it more broken. That's what they always do and will keep doing until they won't have any more base corpses to tear apart. Even your dear Ink is one of a messy demon. Don't you remember how many times he let people suffer for fun? Do you think a good person would let it happen?". The skeleton got serious and exclaimed: "Sam! Listen to yourself. You are talking about a massive massacre! And you don't seem to care about getting your hands dirty. This… this is wrong. I'm sorry friend, but if this is the path you choose to walk in, then I'll let you know that it's the wrong one. I don't want to be your enemy, but if you force me to then I'll fight". Sam smiled again, but this time it was a strange smile. "Heh. You protect your kind, and this is understandable, but then you pretend to not see the problem when I put it right in front of your eyes. You… You kill them too. You find destruction pleasant, but deny it. You deny your own identity. I tried to ignore all of your defects, always did. But now that I think of it… you're like all of the others. A hypocrite. I welcomed you in my house, in the middle of the night, even if you were about to kill my coworkers. I was hoping you would have understood". They got up and typed something on their keyboard.

"but I was wrong"

Maddy- LV 3̵̧̘̥̙̻̝̱̯͚͔̽͂̃̌̔̔̏͊͆̚̕͝͝0̴̢̡̡̡̨̧̨̨̛̩͍̪̯̣͕̝̪͍͈̯̖̠̯̰̘̤̼͎̠͎̭̜̱̥̗̦̻̥̺͉̯̂͂͑̒̿͒̉̆̒̽͐͂͐̆̊̋̈̉͌͑͂̋ͅͅ

*̶l̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶r̶o̶l̶

*Went back to sleep

Muffet- LV 1

*Memory hole

Grillby- LV 1

*Too tired to remember

End of the chapter

Template © @unu-nunu-art

START PREVIOUS NEXT

#Sam the human #Undertale #Ut #Utau #Muffet #Ut muffet #Grillby #Ut grillby #maddy #Ut Maddy #Template sans #T!error #i'm sorry lmao #everyone is gonna die #MAYBE #nobody knows #EXCEPT FOR ME #*evil laughter*#another story

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meetupdollc · 3 months ago

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This is a work of fiction.

Title: Covert Smear Campaign

Note: Alix was sent a copy of this blog so they knew exactly what information was being put up online.

No one has told me to take down this blog.

Once I had reconnected with a person I'd known previously - Alix.

I knew this person had a controversial past.

There was questionable and unloyal behavior towards multiple friends, associates, ex partners etc. and somehow at the same time Alix managed to turn a lot of their peers against them.

I knew, ironically through Alix, that others had made a blog post, comments on the internet about Alix in order to protect themselves against a smear campaign.

Alix was a fairly honest person. Honestly confessing the immoral things they had done.

Alix told me a story about how they had lost friends due to a college drama and I had bought their story. People had been saying bad things about them behind their backs.

It never occurred to me why they would have any reason to personally attack me. This wasn't a person who I knew very well anyways.

Alix was charming, with dark hair, came from a good family and knew how to say the right thing to people.

They had found a partner eventually who was a bit older, charming, knew how to say the right thing to people, and well to do. Others had been impressed by Alix's charm and appearance and it made the partner feel special.

There had been odd things said to me during this very early time towards me by this partner when I stayed with them in their apartment in Manhattan which I didn't reveal to others until years later.

Over time they had married.

One day after they had married this person’s partner started to contact me on social media.

At first I didn't know what to make of it. There was threatening language they had used, several insults while also being nice and considerate at the same time. I simply thought they were angry at me for some reason but didn't feel like dealing with it nor analyzing them.

They texted me "seems as if you do not really like your friends".

Alix's partner continued to text me on social media for almost ten years.

They began to worry that I was on to their behavior.

Overtime I realized that I was likely their target.

This person had likely only reached out to me on social media originally to understand where I stood with them.

Even though I didn't know them too well they seemed to have some reason to contact me.

Very possibly Alix had asked this partner to contact me to control me.

There were several psychological tactics they had used on me. I had reacquainted them with some peers, James, and they had began to get them to turn against me. Alix had tried to dig up dirt on me from. James had attacked me privately in order to impress Alix.

Alix wasn't a dumb, naive, or inexperienced person.

They knew how to word things so that they couldn't get caught.

I heard (ten years later) from our peers that it had been a serious situation with James. Alix had been playing mind games. James had believed they had a chance with Alix.

Many had made posts on the internet complaining about Alix's behavior so they were aware that they had enemies.

The partner told me once on vacation in a threatening tone "John is your mortal enemy". I simply didn't care at the time as I was not close to James but thought it was so bizarre. This partner was being groomed by Alix.

Whenever I angered them their eyes would turn cold.

I had been informed on a hiking trip by another peer of mine, Taylor, that there was a social media post made and the post sounded a lot Alix. The post was "A person from my youth had turned my friends against me. I saw that they had recently married on social media."

Overtime even Taylor became seduced by the charm, wealth and status of these individuals even while trash talking both of them.

Years passed, and during the pandemic I began to question why Alix's partner continued to text me frequently with sometimes threatening language like "you're too egotistical" while also showing concern.

I could certainly guess that Alix had said something to this partner. These comments were really weird and coming from someone I knew extremely little about.

I became afraid as I knew Alix's partner was a wildcard, was older, had power and influence, and could come after me if they needed to. They wanted validation.

One day I simply deleted this person from my social medias due to their questionable language. They still contacted me after a few months had passed even though I deleted them and acted nice again.

I questioned why they still contacted me even though I made it obvious did not want to speak to them however thought maybe we should put this behind us.

It appeared I was dealing with something formidable.

I began to reveal the odd language in the apartment from years ago to several of our peers who immediately turned on me.

I could already see that this was going to turn out badly for me. They couldn't believe that someone so nice could act this way.

These people knew how to target vulnerable people, knew how to isolate them from one another.

Although Alix was not able to uncover anything substantial about me, Alix had still gossiped and told this to their partner in order to start a smear campaign in the event they needed to.

Many of their peers had begun to plot against me.

They flocked together for some reason.

During the pandemic the person who had made the anonymous post all of a sudden reached out to me to hang out.

Out of curiosity I asked them about the social media post made years ago. They confirmed to me the post was about Alix. Alix had decided one day they didn't like this person much and started spreading rumors.

They told me that "some people are master manipulators".

They said it seemed like these people were testing me.

It was certainly odd that their partner would behave in this manner towards a person they barely knew.

Alix was extremely skilled in pitting people against each other, and used charm and appearances to confuse others.

Others emotionally invested in this person.

It was clear there was a pattern of behaviors starting from a young age. Alix selected targets, set them up, and turned peers against them.

They told me "Don't resent others when a relationship ends."

They didn't want me to reveal their odd behaviors.

By chance, I had been informed about the topic of lovebombing and started to research the topic.

Things began to click in my head. I found an article about the smear campaigns that would begin if a relationship didn't end well. It matched up with everything that these two had been doing for the past ten years.

Still, they said it was completely untrue the things I had said.

If they had not continuously threatened me for ten years I would not have ever taken to the internet to write my story.

These games would never end unless I took the time to fully explain myself in this blog.

It was certainly an annoyance but I feared would develop into more over time.

They began to spread rumors about me to people we mutually knew.

People were scared of them for a number of reasons.

It was all a set up.

To protect myself i had sent a large number of group messages out with ridiculous and negative things to get a rise out of them. For nearly one year I had been sending spam with no responses.

I knew that with the nature of this person that they could do some reputational damage. I realized that Alix had set me.

They told me that they had collected and documented evidence and were planning to talk to a lawyer even though the things were just petty arguments.

Alix chose targets that had past trauma.

A predator on the prowl.

Somehow they convinced people to do things for them.

I had explained the situation to others who had never met Alix or didn't know Alix well and they agreed they sounded terrible, but also said they needed some kind of help.

To those who knew Alix they couldn't strip away the feelings, the memories, and the bond of friendship. They said my accusations were baseless, hearsay, and just school dramas.

Alix's best mate said these things were "hearsay" and "baseless accusation" I knew that the others would not speak up for themselves.

These people did not have personal identities.

They just went along with anything that sounded right.

They asked for physical evidence of the conversations I had, but I would not provide any to protect my sources and this was also just "petty" school dramas.

After some time of complaining via messaging the partner had given up as well.

When I looked back I realized I was walking into a trap the moment I agreed to meet Alix.

There were many memories of good times, feelings of warmth and comfort, but at the same time odd behaviors, threats, and things said in private.

I couldn't believe the reality of the situation.

As I recalled the memories with these people, I all of a sudden remembered a time where some of us had gone on a trip together. Alix's partner had explained to us then that they strongly believed in the existence of spirits and ghosts.

They had told me that one late evening driving down a road on the outskirts of London that they had seen a person on the side of the road.

This person had two faces.

#love bombing

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madafact · 7 months ago

Text

for the worms..

i have been to the other side, and it is muddy.

so a year is creeping up on us and what a year it has been. like crusty, iron stained sheets from conceiving with a virgin, a future lays somewhere in the mix. surely a few cumstains to paint the picture, and eventually a divorce, a new Instagram account, and a change of hair color... WHY NOT?

sorry...

ill get off my literary masturbation station and get to stepping with a catch up. today is may 4th, I am in my van In San Diego. here is how and why I got here..

losing Anthony only began the intertia of losing most of what I call people. friends, family, familiarity. its all gone into the cultural soup ripe with cyanide and other long sleep inducing ingredients.

terrie is barely hanging on. her 93rd birthday is on June 8th and that's when she is choosing to call the reaper. her party of all the years is coming, and you're not invited...don't worry, neither am I.

i asked Gregg to kick out the renters, to me its inappropriate that they live in the house of a dying old woman. but again, I was told to get the fuck out..lol. having strangers by your dying bedside is the stain on the bone china that just keeps giving.

gregg is a fucking wreck, an absolute lost aimless, swinging at air screaming at clouds, blaming his son kind of wreck. jaws of life have no purpose here, there will be no grateful set of lungs retrieved from this mess.

i cashed out my retirement to be able to survive, after spending nearly $7,000 on getting Anthony's things back from New York and the subsequent sheep dog guarding of his memory. but money is not the crucifix. love and support are the nails putting me up against this cross.

all I wanted ever was a place to call home. the feeling of not having to fight to feel welcome, a willing invitation is literally the call of the wolves, signaling a meal is slowing down its escape. I can't explain to you how promoting love in the halls of despair only causes the inhabitants to slam their doors shut, locking each subsequent lock with more force than the last. a small way to show you a massive fuck off, you're not welcome.

terrie used to have a house filled to the ceiling with shit. each room a pyre of UNOPENED letters, coupons to closed stores, and I'm willing to bet the skeleton of some poor creature who was mistaken thinking it was a shelter. Anthony and I literally tackled this monolyth over many years, slowly digging our personalities out from the weight of shame. why else would you bury your feelings, and physical body?

so long story short, I have a massive landing spot for trauma and anxiety and it comes in the form of cluttered areas, UNOPENED letters and trash. gregg chose to move all of his trash, failed correspondence and hopes and dreams right into that spot. essentially telling the child inside of me, YOU ARE NOT SAFE.

so sitting in my van in San Diego I find myself baffled. I lost my brother to careless menial people and now alcohol is targeting what ever is left. no invitations to Costa Rica, no notions of bar grand openings. I wonder what Anthony thinks of his "friend group" now?

i feel farther from Anthony when put next to these people. I feel like Anthony gave less than two fucks about me. now with all this familial self immolation its been proven. poor Anthony was just an object, even to his own father. an idea. a cause. not a person screaming out for love.

so, before I start my next verbal litter box, I'll tell you the end.

terries dying,

gregg has prostate cancer and drinks daily.

the house in oceanside is in jeopardy more than its ever been.

and I'm in my van by the side of the freeway in san Diego.

as Anthony drifts farther and farther into the ether...

love you

miss you

forever.

0 notes

c4rdsharp · 2 years ago

Note

Luck don’t you feel like you haven’t had a youth? I’m not just talking about childhood. I mean young adulthood, too. I know you’ve got a lot of work on your plate, but you’re forever physically young. Take advantage of that.

Luck bit back the words rising in his throat, an acidic taste. if he held onto them long enough, they might just burn through his skin & vocal chords, leaving nothing behind but a painful ache of vitriol & remorse. However, nothing good would come from spitting them out without thought, carelessly, like a machine gun without a target. " . . . i did not ask for your advice. " The stranger was speaking out of turn. They didn't know him. The self - assured conjecture of this person, like they knew what was best for him, ticked him off. It was some form of arrogance, to be sure, to tell him to take advantage of his eternal youth. Like there was anything to be taken advantaged of. People speak fondly of youth, but they forget that carefree and careless are but one & the same word. Just merely different connotations, perspectives. There was no actual better happiness in experiencing youth, it was just simpler. It was an excuse to not have to think or worry, to wave your hand aside at all the damage you've caused by your thoughtless actions. It was an excuse for the impulsive & mindless, in which self - gratification was above all the Holy Right. While it can be freeing to some, it was a dangerous drug to others. Luck may have been physically young for the rest of all time, but that gave him no excuse to start throwing caution to the wind. If he did . . . what sort of person would that make him, to assume his actions & wants were above those the needs of others -- no, the needs of the family. " i would advise to watch your tone. you are not in a place to be making demands of me, even if those demands are under the pretense of my supposed benefit. only family or physicians may make such requests of me -- in which, i am actively seeking their counsel. how i choose to spend my time, from here or now onwards, are none of your concern. be more mindful to whom you are speaking. " i had put down my youth in order to pick up the remnants of my father's legacy. i am not so foolish as to know what i have given up. to regret something of that nature . . . Although his face maintained its cool iron fury, an emptiness ached in the boughs of his stomach. Like stepping on a precipice and seeing nothing below but endless void & darkness. That kind of pitiless drop Luck got when thinking of the word eternity. . . . what does that make of me then, if not my father's son?

#( in character. ) nemo me impune lacessit #( ask. ) i’m too tired for the truth #( hc / meta. ) i’m all talk with a thorn in my side.#( main. ) if there was any difference at all it was just one thing: they were villains.#// thanks for the ask!#// <3 #// WOW JUST GOING FOR THE THROAT HUH ANON

0 notes

heyhilana · 2 years ago

Text

Just One of the Guys (Catfish Morales)

Summary: Frankie tries to make amends with you after a mission that goes wrong, leaving you not talking to the boys for a while. But with the time that has passed, you realize that you missed someone more than you thought.

A/N: Hi! This has been sitting in my unfinished drafts for a while, so I wanted to finish this story and so many more that I never got around to. This is my new mission for now, and then I will get to making newer stuff. I hope you enjoy it, and as always, drink water and smile <3

Pairing: Frankie Morales x !f reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence, death, shooting, but not much else.

Word Count: 6.7K (listen can you blame me)

Masterlist

“You were going to go on this trip by yourself?” Frankie asked as you let him in the house, closing the door behind him.

“Yes, and is that a problem?” You went to the kitchen, taking a sip of your wine.

“Yes that is! You could’ve at least told Tom but no one?” Frankie sat down on your couch, and your blood was boiling at the mere mention of Tom.

“Tom is busy with his life. I’m not going to report to him as if he’s my P.O..” You scoffed.

“Then tell me, Santi, Will, Benny, somebody! But you should’ve said something.” Frankie was angry, and the last time you saw him this angry was the last time you saw him in general.

“I can handle myself. I don’t need a babysitter, Frankie,” You huffed, getting irritated by his never-ending concerns for you. You appreciated them, but they were getting a little out of hand. It was almost as if he didn’t believe that you could protect yourself and that he had to be your protector.

“I know you can, but we look out for each other.” His tone was softer, but you weren’t letting up.

“I know that you have my back, especially after what happened, but you can’t keep me from going on this mission by myself.” This was your first mission by yourself that you were going on for the first time in three years. It was scary, but you knew that it had to be done.

“It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ve done missions likes these plenty of times.”

“Yeah, but all of us were right there with you incase anything went wrong. You have no backup, only Plan A.” That set you off.

“My contact is going to be within the area, and I know this area better than all of you. I’m going to be fine.” You were irritated with him. The last thing you wanted was to have them around you. It was hard enough letting Frankie back into your life, but the others? Not a shot in hell.

“Then tell me this. You’re not still mad about before, are you?”

You were walking along in the forest, all the boys in tow as you made your way to your target’s house. It was a big mission that couldn’t leave either of you out as you both needed to have each other’s back and be the other’s eyes and ears if need be. You found the hill you were going to sit on with your sniper and were waiting to hear what the next steps would be.

“Okay. Iron and Benny, you take the right corridor. Pope and Cat, you take the west side. I’ll be taking the back entrance and Y/N will stay on the hill to take any shots necessary. Got it?”

“Yes. Let’s move out.” Pope and the rest move out just as you set up your post on the hill. You made sure there were no onlookers nearby as you put on your camouflage poncho. You laid down on the hill, putting your sniper set up together just as Tom spoke into the walkie-talkie.

“You’re all set?”

“Almost. You guys made it down the hill yet?” You were putting the scope together, careful to not break it.

“I’m just now reaching the back entrance and the others are doing the same. Be ready, Y/n. A lot can go wrong right now,” Tom was worried, but you were calm and collected.

“I know that a lot can go wrong, but it’s going to be fine. I just finished setting up and I got you guys.” You got no response, but you shrugged it off, putting the sniper stand in position and laying down to look through your scope. You adjusted the zoom as you saw Cat and Pope splitting up to take the hallways. You shifted and saw Iron and Benny walking into the kitchen, incapacitating the two guys sitting at the table.

“Kitchen is clear.” Iron spoke into the walkie-talkie.

“Living room is clear.” Cat called out.

“Move into the bedroom.” Tom ordered. You moved your scope to the bedroom, seeing that the guard was patrolling with an open window.

“I have a clear shot on the guard, but our target is nowhere to be seen.” You spoke into your walkie-talkie, noticing that the guard had an Uzi on him.

“Take the shot, and we’ll find out where the target is.” You followed orders, a clean shot right at the guard’s head as he fell down right when Pope and Cat walked through the door.

“Coast is clear. He must be on the roof.” Pope spoke. And sure enough, you moved your scope up to see that the target was going through the hatch with a gun in hand, making way for the escape.

“He’s on the roof with a gun. Be careful.” You warned, upping your zoom so your shot was not interfered with. It was beginning to get windy, making you question whether a snipe was ideal given the situation.

“Got it. Pope and Cat, climb out through the window and get to the roof. Iron and Benny, follow up to the hatch as I believe it’s near the staircase. I will follow suit with the staircase as soon as you all get up there.” Something about the plan was spelling disaster in the pit of your stomach, but you said nothing. You watched as Pope and Cat followed suit with their orders, your heart pounding as Cat almost lost his grip, potentially falling down from 3 stories. But Pope helped him up, and then both climbed right up just as Iron and Benny surrounded the target.

“I will shoot you all!” The target was erratic, and you were worried that he would accidentally shoot at the very least, making this more complicated. Everyone had their guns pulled, but Pope was the one to put his down.

“You’re outnumbered. Give us the gun, and this can all go very easy for all of us.” Pope had his hands up, but the rest still were trained on him. Faintly, you could see Tom in the back opening the hatch, careful to not alert the target.

“You killed my brother. Why should I surrender to you? So you can kill me or make me rot away in an American prison?’

“Your brother tried to blow up a U.S. Embassy. We tried to get him to work with us but he chose his fate. You can still choose yours.” Iron spoke from behind, and the feeling of what could go wrong killed you inside. And your fears were proven right. The man was beginning to lower his gun and Pope was walking over to him with cuffs from his pocket, but from afar, another sniper was watching, and he sniped Santi in the leg and the target got him in a chokehold, gun at his head. Your heart dropped down to your stomach, knowing that it could’ve possibly hit an artery. You moved your sniper around and saw the man from 100 meters away from you, all in black, waiting for the next move. You shot him, the silenced snipe thankfully not alerting the target. You moved your sniper back around, seeing that it was a riskier standoff than you anticipated. Time was of the essence, but to know that you could potentially shoot one of your own was not an option.

“You’ve got nowhere to run. Let him go and we won’t kill you.” Cat’s voice was slightly wavering, and you saw that the man was spinning around too much to get a clear shot. The wind was getting stronger, a huge gust almost moving your sniper out of place.

“You’ve taken from me, so I’ll take from you. A fair trade don’t you think?” He laughed, knowing that time was limited on his side.

“If you don’t let him go, we will shoot you.” Suddenly, he turned in your direction, making it impossible to get a clear shot as Pope’s head was in the way.

“I can’t shoot. You’ll need to direct him the other way for me to kill him.”

“Take the shot.” Tom was erratic as he spoke to you in a harsh yet soft tone given his close proximity, and you were not having it.

“I can’t. I might hit Pope instead and not the target. Or potentially I hit both!” You were angry at Tom’s orders knowing that he would potentially risk his friend’s life and not get the target killed. The wind was slowly letting up, but you were hoping that a huge gust wouldn’t come until the target was killed.

“Take the shot. That’s an order, Y/n!” He barked at you.

“I’m not risking his life! I will wait until it’s safe!” You were stern.

“Take the shot. You’re risking everyone’s lives right now.” Tom was trying to guilt you, but you stood your ground.

“I will take it when it’s safe.” Tom was furious with you in response, but you kept your cool, watching and listening, waiting for the right time.

“Let him go. I will not tell you again.” Cat was trying to distract him, but as Iron tried to move closer to incapacitate him, the sound was too much, making the target turn around.

“Over my dead body.” He pointed the gun at Iron, and you shot the target right in the head, careful to avoid Pope. He fell, his leg needing medical attention, or else it would go from bad to worse.

“Are you all okay?”

“We’re all good from here. We’ll meet you up on the hill.” Tom was short, and you could see from your scope that he was ranting about how this went wrong. You sighed, packing up your stuff and waiting for them at least halfway to make it easier on you.

After a few minutes of walking down the hill, you saw them all with Cat and Iron holding up Pope so he could walk.

“Is he okay?” You asked, seeing that he was out of it.

“He’ll live. He lost a bit of blood but we have blood bags in the heli.” Benny responded, and although he was always nice to you, he never met your gaze, making you wonder if they were as mad at you as Tom was.

“You should’ve taken the shot.” Tom finally spoke, and the rage boiling in you was at its hottest temperature.

“I could’ve killed Pope. I want him to still have a chance to go home to his family. I want all of you to still go home to your families!”

“You take the shot anyways. We all know the risks the minute we decide to go. You could’ve gotten us all killed behind that.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Was it better to take a risky shot that had multiple wrong endings than to wait for the right time? The wind could’ve moved your scope and you could’ve hit Iron, Benny, Pope, or Cat. You could’ve killed Santi and not the target. Or kill them both but now your worst fears have come true. It wasn’t worth it, not when you care about them like brothers.

“I had to calculate the risks.”

“I already calculated that and I told you to take it anyways.”

“Did you calculate that there was another sniper going to be here? No, you didn’t. You can’t calculate everything going into it and things get fucked up. This got fucked up because of a surprise sniper and I wasn’t going to make it worse by rushing. It didn’t feel right.”

“Forget about that. You take the shot when I tell you to. That’s what you’re here for.” You raised an eyebrow at the last few words, the sudden unappreciation hitting the forefront.

“That’s what I’m here for? What, am I just a tool for you guys?” You scoffed.

“N-No. That’s not what I meant-“ You didn’t want to hear it. Not when your fear of getting involved with a team was coming true. After years of doing this line of work on your own, you found a group that made you happy for the most part, even when you felt slighted when they would leave you out of things back home. You considered them to be friends, even Cat and Benny your closest. But to know that things were unrequited on their ends was enough to make you never want to see them again.

“No, I know what you meant. I’m glad to now know why I always felt so out of place. You guys never cared about me, only for my skillset. That’s why I never met your families, why I never got invited to Benny’s fights, why I was never invited to go to any of your houses. You guys only used me for your benefit, and I thought I was crazy for thinking that.” You began to walk past them, but Cat tried to hold your arm.

“Hey, that’s not true-“

“Francisco, don’t clean this up. I’d rather hear this than believe a lie. Just get us home and I’ll go my way and you all can go in yours.” You shook his hand off you as you began walking further down the path, complete silence from all of you as you made it to the heli and back home.

“I’m done with that. It’s not that big of a deal anymore.” You took another sip of your wine.

“You haven’t spoken to anyone in 6 months. You only speak to me now because I tracked you down.” He was looking at you, and you didn’t like being in his gaze. Not like this. Maybe before under the pretense of friends even with the burning desire you didn’t realize was there until after you went AWOL, but now it was too much.

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but we do care about you.” You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“If this is another attempt to get my forgiveness I’ll walk you out the door.” You moved from your island and around to get closer to the door.

“Just give us this one chance. Benny is having a fight this Saturday, a few days before you go.” You groaned at this futile attempt to get you back into the group.

“I think it’s time for you to go.” You walked over to the door, opening it as Frankie was getting up to walk out.

“Think about it. If you do decide to go, we’ll be meeting in the locker room. Tell security that Benny said it was okay.” He was out of your house, and his pleading eyes almost broke you. But you stood strong, choosing not to answer that question.

“Drive safe, Frankie.” You closed the door on him, returning to your kitchen to pour another glass of wine.

There was a part of you that wanted to go, the part that you wanted to push deep down inside. What if things would be better after 6 months? Did they understand why you did what you did? Were they remotely remorseful about how they excluded you from most events that they had without you? For 4 years, nothing to make you feel close to them yet you did everything for them. You also wondered if they put Frankie up to do this, knowing that he was the only one to find you and the only one that could convince you to go. Your soft spot for him was evident, but you didn’t want to think about them using that against you to get you back in their lives only to use you again like they did before.

You were walking along the beach, the breeze enveloping you in coolness as it was a hot day. You made it a point to leave everything behind, settling into a new place, a new identity, a new you. You had your home with the porch you always wanted, enough money to keep you afloat until the next mission awaited you, and no one could find you within 2,000 miles just to be safe. You were happy, finding your sense of peace in a lifetime of chaos that you threw yourself into at a young age. Wanting to slow down just a little, to appreciate the finer things in life without bloodshed or broken bones taking up your time, this was the perfect place for you to live.

The calm waves caught your eye, the crystal blue water and the orange sunset contrasting perfectly. You walked closer to the water, ignoring how cold the water was against your feet. And for a moment, time stood still. It didn’t matter who else was there at the marina. It was just you, the water, and the beautiful sunset. Your past, all the favors you did for money, they were all taking the backseat for the moment. You knew that you would go back at some point, but you wanted to at least have the memories of knowing that for a little while you were blending into society without the pretenses of capturing the bad guys that the Gov’t told you to kill without a second thought. But that moment of peace was interrupted when you looked down and saw another person standing right beside you. You looked up and saw Frankie looking out into the distance like you were, and while you were happy to see him, the other part of you wanted to yell at him for finding you.

“How did you know?”

“You told me three things that you wanted to do when you got away. You wanted to live near the beach to see the water, you wanted to have your boat so you could go sailing, and you wanted to have your house with a porch that overlooked it.” To hear his voice again after all these months built up a lump in your throat, the only man you had worked with that made you feel cared for, that it was more than just a job.

“And I thought that you were only paying attention when I mentioned sports to you,” You dryly laughed, fist curled as you were holding back. “Well, you found me. Go back home and leave me be. You know I’m safe now.”

“Now you know I’m not going to do that. Six months of not hearing from you, and you think I’m just going to walk away?” He turned to face you, and it was like all the months of not seeing him faded into the distance.

“Yes! That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do! You weren’t even supposed to find me because I left for a reason. Go back to your friends and leave me alone. I don’t need them or you.” Venom was all that could be identified in your tone, the mechanism to avoid saying how much you missed him, how much you wanted to forget about the past and start anew with him in your dream destination.

“I never said you needed me or them. But I thought you would at least be happy to see me.” His voice cracked at the end, and it made your heart break.

“I’m happy to see that you didn’t get your head blown off, and despite everything I am happy to see you. But Frankie, I left for a reason, and I don’t need you watching me when I know how to take care of myself.” You were softer, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” That earned a hum of disapproval from you.

“Can’t you see that I’m already doing that?” You moved your hand away, and without realizing it, you both missed that gesture.

“No, you’re yelling at me and I want to talk like adults.” That was what made all the softness wash away.

“Oh? You want to talk like adults? Then tell me why I was never a part of anything you guys did together? How come when I would even ask what you guys were going to do after a mission I would get silence as an answer? I would hear from you maybe every few months for small talk and then it would segway into we need you for a job. Hell, when I was at my old home taking care of my sister did any of you call to check in? No. You only found out when I told you I couldn’t make it since she was in the hospital. You all wished me well through a text and after that, nothing. So again, why would I want to talk like adults to you when you and the boys barely treated me right then?”

“And I’m sorry, for all of it. I swear if we could all take back what we did we would in a heartbeat.” It was giving you a headache to hear him try to speak for everyone. While you could forgive him, you didn’t see a point in talking to the others again. You began to scowl a little, your body moving faster than your mind could process.

“Fucking save it. I don’t want to hear it because I bet you’re only talking to me now because of a mission and I’m your last option.” A part of you knew that it was likely the answer, but the other part of you felt that with the sincerity in his voice, maybe he just wanted to see you. But with knowing how the last few years went with working with them, you didn’t let the other half of you win.

“No! There are no missions. I just miss you-”

“Stop saying that. You don’t. You miss how much I held the team together when things went wrong. You miss all the effort I put in without expecting anything in return. That’s what you miss and I don’t want to hear it. So leave me be, and I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours.” You walked away from him despite his pleas for you to come back.

However, the irony was that Frankie was just as stubborn as you were. He didn’t let up. He called you when he could and tried to see how you were doing. He gave you your space, but he made it known that he was not leaving your life again because he realized just how much he had until you left. And maybe it was the soft spot you had for him that let him back in, or maybe it was how much effort he put in to turn this around, but you had to admit that you appreciated it all. You didn’t know if you were ready to see the rest of them again.

You sat on your couch, looking through the photos on your phone that you kept hidden away in an album. You looked at the photos you all had together, you in the middle of them all after a mission. Benny was always big on photos for some reason, and now you were grateful for it. You thought about how he always wanted to set the timer on his camera, to which Santi was annoyed that it was always set to 10 seconds instead of 5. But when you looked at them all, you saw happiness. Tom with the years wiped off his face as he was genuinely happy. Cat, looking at you with adoration that you hadn’t picked up on. Santi laughing with Iron as he was hitting his chest. Benny on the end, looking at everyone with a huge smile on his face. You played back all of the live photos, with you laughing with them and them hugging you in some. You even noticed how Tom was nice after one mission, hugging you and remembering how he said you did a great job.

Before you knew it, there were tears falling down on your screen. Although they were never the best in including you in certain events, you realized that they did care. All the times they took bullets for you, when they would help you on a solo mission, it was all their way of saying they care about you without verbalizing it. Even with how they tried to plead with you after you got off the plane and you ignored them, running to your car, it wasn’t for nothing. Sure, they had a lot of work to do in doing better, but you decided to go, to at least hear them out. You fell asleep on the couch, phone in hand as the memories lulled you away.

You parked outside the warehouse, debating on going in. You saw Frankie’s truck parked a few spots away from where you parked, and the others near there as well but they were all inside. You could leave, pretend that you just never came at all and they would be none the wiser, but before you knew it you were getting out of the car and locking your door to make your way to the warehouse. Up at the door was a burly man and he eyed you.

“You have a pass?”

“Benny is my friend,” It felt weird to say it, knowing that you’ve gone so long without seeing them. “He told me that it’s okay to be back here. My name should be on the list.”

“Name?” He pulled out the notepad of names, pen in hand.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” He flipped through the pages, and when he found yours, he crossed it out.

“You’re all set.” He opened the door for you, and you thanked him with the door closing on you right away. You saw many fighters already bloodied, making you wonder if you came too late even though Frankie’s reminder text said that he would start at 9, another reason to chicken out if it was too late. But you remembered that he said the locker room was down the hall, so you brushed passed the other men and ignored the whistles they gave you until you reached the double doors.

You walked in, hearing and seeing that all the boys were cheering Benny on as he was wrapping his hands. You contemplated on walking in more, knowing that they would see you. You could run out, pretend you never came, and continue not talking to them. But at the very least, you had to see if they did care at all, if they wanted to make things right. So your feet moved faster than you could process, and Frankie was the first to see you.

“You made it.” The other boys faced you, and you felt that the spotlight was on you even with this being Benny’s night.

“Yeah, but I won’t stay for long. I just wanted to wish you well, Benny.” You half smiled at him, and he returned the favor.

“Thank you, but we want you to stay. Well, we hoped you would.” He gestured between himself and the guys.

“This is the first time we’ve seen you in months, Y/N. You have to stay for at least a beer.” Iron was holding up his drink.

“We even have a seat reserved for you.” Pope mentioned.

“Really? That’s very kind of you guys to do.” You were grateful, and a part of you was beginning to believe that this would go a lot better than expected.

“When Frankie told us that he mentioned the fight to you, we wanted to save it just in case.” Tom spoke, and his tone was much softer than what you were accustomed to hearing.

“You planned this, Frankie? I thought they knew ahead of time when you told me.”

“Nope. This was all my doing.” He chuckled, and the hearty sound made your heart flutter a little.

“We thought he was crazy for doing that, knowing how stubborn you are.” Santi joked, and for the first time, you all laughed together.

“He was, but at least I came so it wasn’t a completely dumb idea.” They hummed in agreement, but then a silence fell between you all. It wasn’t until Santi nudged Benny in the shoulder that he coughed and spoke up.

“And I wanted to be the first to apologize for everything. We should’ve tried more to include you in things. You’re not just with us because you’re good at what you do. You’re with us because you’re family. Family sticks together.” The others nodded their head in agreement, and it seemed genuine.

“I need to apologize to you, Y/n. I should’ve trusted your judgment back there. That was not my place to force you to do something you didn’t feel was right. I know you were just looking out for us, and even though we all know that we might not make it back here alive in one piece, we should try to keep that as a top priority.” You were relieved that you were reaching an understanding, that there could be a future with all of them.

“I forgive you, Tom. I can understand where you were coming from, wanting to get the mission done without it being further compromised. And I forgive the rest of you. It’s not like this group started with me in it, but every time we finished one mission I wouldn’t hear from you guys unless I called or you called me if you needed me to come along. I felt so slighted but I didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding crazy. I appreciate all of this though.” You were speaking from the heart, and you would be lying if tears weren’t welling up in your eyes.

“So you’ll stay?” Santi asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

“I’ll stay.” They all cheered, and you walked over to hug them all, feeling that a piece of you that was lost was found again.

“Thank you,” Frankie whispered in your ear. You smiled even wider, knowing that this would be the perfect night before you went on your mission.

You were all walking out of the warehouse a little after 11, Benny coming out mostly unscathed and the belt he always wanted. Everyone went to their cars to start them up but you went to hug Will and Benny.

“Make sure Benny takes an ice bath.” You finished hugging Will and Benny.

“I will. You get home safe as well. Can’t have you destroying the road with your driving skills.” Iron joked, making you punch him in the arm.

“Yeah what he said.” Benny slurred a little. You knew that he had one too many celebratory drinks, so you let it slide.

“You wish you could drive like me. But get home safe.” You called out as Will was hauling Benny to the car. They both said bye just as Tom and Santi walked up to you.

“Be safe out there, okay? If you need help, we’ll be there.” Santi put a hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. You guys drive home safe. Promise?”

“Always.” You all hugged, and they walked off to their cars, leaving you to walk to yours as you thought Cat had left already.

“Can’t have you getting to the car by yourself now.” Frankie popped out from the right side of your car, scaring you a little.

“You scared me Cat! Don’t do that.” You were annoyed with him, but he just laughed.

“You know I’ll protect you,” His hand brushed against yours, and you were fighting against yourself to not have it intertwine with yours.

“What are you, my knight in shining armor?”

“Nope. Just a friend that wants to help out another friend.” You cut him a look as he gave his answer, neither of you really buying it.

“You gonna follow me home?” You asked, opening up your car door.

“Yeah, but I won’t be on your ass like the others do to me.”

“Okay, but you better not race me.” You winked at him, earning a scoff from him.

“I can beat you any day, cielo.” The little name widened your eyes, but you tried to keep your cool.

“Then you name the time and I’ll meet you.” You challenged him, and the way he walked up to you made you think he would try something. He brushed the hair behind your ear, staring at you with low eyes and you were fighting the urge to bite your lip as a nervous tendency.

“Just get in the car. It’s getting late.” You deflated as he said that, but you reluctantly moved away and got in the car. You pulled out first and he followed, the drive home seemingly shorter than how long it was for you to get to the warehouse. You didn’t want the night to end, but could you push the limits with this? You had only just let them all into your life but were you ready to test the waters with Frankie? It all took up your thoughts as you pulled into your driveway and Frankie parked on the side of your street. You got out of your car and locked it before waiting for Frankie to walk you to your door. Just looking at him in his infamous hat that was torn and tattered from your missions together, the mustard yellow jacket you thrifted for him, grey shirt, jeans, the same boots that he wore everywhere, you knew you were in dumbstruck awe over him. You walked to the door together, and you unlocked your door, turning on the light and walking inside.

“Are you sure you’re able to drive tonight? You’re an hour away from your home.” You were more so looking for an excuse to spend time with him, but at this point it was midnight and you knew that he had a long day.

“I can sleep in the car for a little before I drive home. It’s not a problem.” You shook your head.

“I’m not gonna let you sleep in the car when I have a couch. Just stay for the night and you cand rive back to your place in the morning.” He didn’t protest, just walking in after you and closing the door, ensuring it was locked. You both took off your shoes and jackets before pulling out a blanket and spare pillow from your linen closet. You saw that he already made himself at home, taking off his hat and putting it on your coffee table. Somehow, your house seemed more like a home with him in it.

“Do you want another pillow?”

“Querida, it’s fine. I’ve slept in worse places,” He took the pillow and blanket and put it on the couch's armrest before patting the open seat next to him. “You gonna sleep right now?”

“No, I can stay up to talk to you.” You sat down next to him, and you both just looked at each other, trying to find the words to keep the small talk going before sleep took you both away. Finally, you spoke and put your hand on his.

“I never got the chance to thank you, but really, I appreciate you putting that together. You know I’m too stubborn to talk so that means a lot to me.” You gave him a sweet smile, and he returned it and intertwined your hand with his.

“We all missed you. Nothing was the same without you and we didn’t realize how much you made the group better until we lost you. I didn’t want that to continue and then something happens to one of us.” You nodded your head.

“I can say the same. Other missions by myself didn’t feel right. It’s better to have a team, to have a family.” You squeezed his hand.

“But I really missed you, Y/n. I felt terrible when I couldn’t talk to you as much as I wanted to. I gave you space but it hurt not talking to you.” He was pulling at your heartstrings little by little, and you didn’t know how long it would take before you broke.

“You were always my favorite, Cat.” The nickname was enough to keep you from breaking, but you didn’t think you would last much longer.

“I always thought you preferred Santi over me.” Your eyes widened at that statement.

“Santi is a close favorite, but I would’ve never gone to the fight because you’re the only person that can get through to me.” You reassured him, and the way his cedar eyes were emitting from the lamp that was near him was making you fight harder to not shut him up with a kiss.

“You got a soft spot for me?” He was bold, a side of him you didn’t get to see yet.

“Maybe, maybe not,” You felt the heat rush to your face, making you want to avert your eyes to avoid confirmation that he was right.

“You sure about that?” He moved closer to you, and you did the same.

“I won’t tell you yes or no.” You were smiling like an idiot, and so was he.

“I don’t need the answer, since I can see it in your eyes.” You felt impossibly closer to him than before, letting go of his hand and placing it on his leg.

“Well what do you think the answer is?” Your eyes were flickering down to his lips, and you thought about all those times you spent getting sneaky glances at him, the way he would calm you when everything seemed to be going wrong since he was level-headed. But now, all he was doing was making the flame that wouldn’t die out for him ignite into a full-fledged fire that had to be quelled with something you held back from.

“That I’m not the only one that didn’t miss you as a friend, but as something else.” After that, it didn’t seem that speaking with words was the right answer. All it took was for you to move to him, closing the gap and feeling those soft lips against yours for the first time to be the perfect response. And clearly, he liked it too, with how you two moved together without much thought. It was instantaneous, figuring out what would be an awkward moment turning into something so blissful and sweet as you were smiling in between kisses.

“How did I go this long without kissing you?” He was feverish, and you were grinning.

“I could ask myself the same question,” You responded, but it was cut short with him kissing you again, this time with you moving to lie down on the couch and him getting on top of you. And you two were content with just that, making out like schoolkids on a late night because there was nothing better than that. Threading your fingers through his hair, his hands playing with your shirt and going underneath it, sometimes moving to more heady kisses and slowing down as needed. You were in ecstasy over it all, over six months of being alone changing over the course of one night.

After you finally caught your breaths, it ended up with him laying down and you laying on top of him, him rubbing circles on your back. You knew that the mission was just a few days away, and you didn’t want to leave him so soon.

“I have a question.” You mumbled, sleep suddenly calling your name.

“Que paso?”

“About the mission, did you want to go with me? You don’t have to since I know it’s so soon-“

“I was planning on going anyways. No reason to go by yourself when I’m here.” He answered without a second thought, and you began to smile once more.

“Thank you.”

“Siempre. Now sleep, little one.” He kissed your forehead, and you felt safe with him. You had your heart put back together by his antics, and you got something more out of it that you weren’t expecting.

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