#And I refuse to accept that it's my fault

[genderqueerdykes]

With the trans man thing

I've had to apologize for being a transgender man and being a traitor to society

I've had to apologize and say I'm not trying to be transphobic when I say I'm somewhat tired of seeing transfem 🌽 filling all of the transmasc and man tags

I've even been pushed to de-masculineize myself and my existence for others (I'm pre-t witu voice training, have a naturally masculine build from work, and dress masc). I've been outright requested to come to events in drag for others' comfort, or even act "gayer" (I'm a gay man, but not a Twink or small to them)

It all feels like a dysphoria exchange. For you to feel comfortable, I need to feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body AGAIN

There's a rise in trans men being called "twink" as essentially a slur by people who feel threatened by someone wanting not to be a woman or who just don't believe we are "qualified' to be men

Maybe this take is fucked up

Maybe I'm not emotionally mature enough to see the nuances of all of this

But the rising hate of anyone or thing that is masculine is so damaging

You hate the patriarchy, not the people who are comfortable as themselves

Why do transmascs/men have to become villains in order to be seen as men? Why do we have to give up being good people in the eyes of others? That, or forget being a man entirely for someone else's comfort?

i've noticed that also to be the case, im not entirely sure why, but i rarely go into transmasc tags because of that. i have no clue where there's so much straight up por n in our tags that's not even of transmasculine people. it drowns out most of the other content. very strange. not sure if i understand why this is

I've been outright requested to come to events in drag for others' comfort, or even act "gayer" (I'm a gay man, but not a Twink or small to them) There's a rise in trans men being called "twink" as essentially a slur by people who feel threatened by someone wanting not to be a woman or who just don't believe we are "qualified' to be men

i don't think you're fucked up for being upset that people are asking you to literally change how you act and present yourself because other people refuse to accept you. that's such a fucked up thing for people to do to you. and yes people have literally been weaponizing a litany of queer slurs against trans men lately i have seen twink being thrown around in the most hateful ways possible. i lived with 2 trans girls who did it for a while. it's disturbing

i'm sorry you've gone through this. but you're not at fault for being hurt. you're being blamed for your own pain because other people think you deserve it for being masc and a man. you don't deserve it.

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

Posting one Murder Drones meme a day until Episode 5 drops, Day Eight.

[anna-scribbles]

truest thing gabriel everrr said was that adrien had emilie's flair for the dramatics

[biblically-accurate-dca]

KILL!!!!!!!!!

[theartinmyheart]

🩵🩵🩵

[bacchuschucklefuck]

but also literally the fact that jack manhattan stands up the hotel gift shop like right after/before she gets mad at liv. Paula baby be an adult. I love to watch them all spiral but i really do hope we get a liv confrontation moment

miss paula "slams screens down laptop style the moment she sees something she doesn't like to confront on them" donvaldson we can one day get there together I believe in you

[sophiethewitch1]

🫶 thanks for responding back! i appreciate all the hard work you’ve planned out for us 🎉 i can’t wait to see more of the darker themes fleshed out at the end of the first part, i will be waiting patiently LOL 👍 in terms of yandere, how bad do you think it will be? what do you have planned in that department?

also i hope you get better soon 😅 please take breaks and certainly take your time!

well ive said that its very mild on the yandere side even later on in the slowburn. its barely yandere more, like... obsession??... at least for the first while. the yandere part is more just there as a warning because I don't want to shock people with the small bit of dark content there will be. i really don't like yanderes that hurt reader (they just don't make sense to me. yandere to me is about having too much love, and you wouldn't hurt someone you loved??) and like,,,, spoiler cut here but like, these are all things that are in the tags/warnings/just information around

i need happy endings. i cant handle even the slightest bit bitter ending it hurts me physically. i am writing a happy ending. it will take grovelling, compromise, and probably fixing the universe but idc. i will uncritically romanticise toxic relationships. i can fix him he can fix me we will fix ourselves for each other. THATS ROMANCE BABEY!!! ITS BEING YOUR BEST SELF BECAUSE YOU LOVE SOMEONE!!! AND YANDERE IS ABOUT LOVE. ITS ABOUT LOVE!!!! ALWAYS LVOE!!!!

[lpsgirl109]

Strange thinking about the ways people have hurt you that they never apologized for when it's been like eons since those moments happened. Like should I still be angry about it or should I just let it go. Thoughts with Peg at 1 am. I need to sleep.

[talentforlying]

i've got stuff to do tonight but i am thinking about how it absolutely fucking pains me to see the joy and energy and love of living sapped from constantine's spirit over the initial run of hellblazer. like he goes from this spirited, wisecracking, life-loving, bully-punching, fastidious little guy to a man so disintegrated by decades of grief and being used and never being good enough for anyone that he was willing to be buried alive to serve a cause he didn't even care about. thank god they gave him back some friendly connections and some semblance of hope by the end of "red right hand", because that late-hellblazer constantine was utterly unrecognizable and it broke my heart.

[weather-entity]

yknow that feeling where everything that's going wrong in your life isn't directly your fault but it's all connected to you so its indirectly your fault and you're just caught in the middle of it all in order to not upset everyone even more. Yeah. that's how im felling right now

[dirt-str1der]

Love characterising nishikiyama as a booze hound drug hound meth addict high every day body mass 75% alcohol hands constantly shaking literally spacing out while driving fifty over the speed limit using elderly folk as speedbumps one hand on the wheel and one hand free to do more drugs and coming into work while functionally deaf and blind and he is still leagues more competent at his job than kiryu

[birt-art]

There's some great Elden Ring lore videos but where's my two hour long queer reading of Elden Ring you cowards !!

[irlnikeiyomiuri]

i wanted to yell about how evil trying to get into college is but i just genuinely do not have the words for how dismal this is

[nonbinaryphantom]

valerie for the roleswap au is gonna be so so hard to figure out bc her dynamic with danny is already different by virtue of danny not being as good of a guy AND more of a loner so its like auhghhhhh i still want to make their dynamic fun and interesting

[chalk-homunculus]

I think... in many ways, I really just want to feel loved, but I'm scared of accepting it, and scared of feelings I feel like I "can't control" so I end up taking an overly analytical approach and overjustifying things like natural curiosity to myself by calling things "just scientific fascination" and "morbid curiosity" (because in my mind, things I feel I am not "allowed to" experience, be curious about, or consider, seem like they're taboo, hence 'morbid'). I can't really fault others for thinking that's messed up. I've definitely ruined chances at receiving any sort of care and/or love in the past by not only pushing people away in delusional self-sabotage states, but also by treating people like equations or research projects. I sort of hate admitting to myself that I DON'T know or understand everything, and that doing so is impossible no matter how much I like knowing things, especially since my inability to just trust and take what people tell me at face value is in juxtaposition with that desire for knowledge and thorough understanding. It is actually me and my own doubt of people that drives me into over-questioning everything I DO know.

I also am terrible at paying attention to others. I know this. I forget that other people are, well, people, and that they won't know how much I care about them unless I express it and KEEP expressing it. Not just verbally but with things like asking people how they are doing- assuming they'll just tell me if they want me to know is something I do, but I know very well how easy it is to feel like a burden and close your troubles away from others in fear of being "too much" to deal with. I've reflected on this, and my unhealthy manner of expressing fondness and trust for others being that I'm far too quick to traumadump and talk about myself, in the past, but I've not been making nearly enough progress on it.

I think, I seek and crave for too much clarity without offering any myself, that has driven people away from me in the past, and it's purely my own flaws causing it.

Maybe with another year or two of reflecting, I will be able to handle something like a qppr without it falling apart because of my aloofness and inability to pay enough attention to others. Perhaps in half a decade, I could consider a romantic relationship, if I've made any progress with all that + trauma work, by then.

[yeslordmyking]

💔