#And I have the most fire lip combo on and my cheeks are rosy does no one gaf
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idontmindifuforgetme · 2 months ago
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Looking at myself in my floor length mirror w nothing but a bra and jeans on makes me want to post thirst traps to the women in my phone tbh
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markstrom · 7 years ago
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The Canucks are Attractive 101
by @markstrom, @feistyteee, @tomiath, @nhlmarkstrom, @huttsybobuttsy, @pyatts, @baercheese
This is the ultimate guide for anyone who ever said the Canucks are not attractive. Say goodbye to the world as you know it. 
First of all: Swedes. We all know it, Sweden somehow produces the best looking people on this planet and the Canucks have some of them. 
1. Jacob Markstrom 
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Our starting goalie is 6′6 and no one can look at him without melting away. His voice and his sweet Swedish accent is the cutest thing you’ll ever hear. Also: eyebrows. Also: eyes. The curved nose needs a shoutout cause it’s adorable. His face is just a masterpiece of art and anyone who doubts this has, well, no idea of art. We also love to mention his tattoos because damn. 
2. Anders Nilsson
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Only a fool might think one Swedish goalie is enough. Meet Anders Nilsson, another 6′6 goalie from Sweden. He’s the absolute purest sweetheart, as you can spot a pride flag on both his masks. To represent his gay friends, he says. His hair/beard color combo is different but it works. So. Damn. Well. Plus: the freckles, we love them dearly. Our Swedish goalies support each other at all times, goalie controversy? We don’t know her.
3. Alexander Edler 
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He looks like Alexander Skarsgård but on skates. Another sweet Swedish blondie who is also the sweetest dad. His hair always looks on point and he does indeed have a nice tan in his pic. Probably best dressed Canuck, his fashion is on fire. What a man. 
4. Loui Eriksson
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A man also known as The Poodle. His fluffy and curly hair make you want to touch it. His look is sometimes very weird and intimidating and some people might think of Louis Vuitton when hearing his name but remember, this kind of fur is completely Canucks branded. 
5-6. Henrik and Daniel Sedin
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These are our leading Swedish fish and they do look the same. Some people might say they aren’t really pretty, but hey if you’re into gingers, we got two identical ones for you. We aim to please. 
Next: the team dads (Disclaimer: this does not mean they actually have kids). We got plenty of them and they’re mostly cute and obviously good with kids – or still single.
7. Sam Gagner
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Sam Gagner aka Gags is a really smiley. GAGNER WITH SCRUFF IS ICONIC. Also smirk smirk smirk. He likes to wear an all white mouthguard that makes his teeth look weird during the game but that’s okay because he needs to protect his perfect smile at all costs! Bonus: He looks so comforting like you can trust him with your life.
8. Brandon Sutter
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His sarcasm is A+ comedy. He also looks like he could play the role of a guy everyone falls in love with on The Young and the Restless. He’s just very pretty, hair is soft, light scrub and eyebrows are 👏🏼. His eyes are pretty and they are very kind. Also that little smile/smirk is giving me all kinds of feelings ngl.
9. Christopher Tanev
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He most definitely looks better with teeth than without. Tanev is the protective type of guy, he takes pucks to the face for you but mostly for Marky, literally. Long hair don’t care. The soft, dark brown of his eyes can tell that he couldn’t hurt a fly. Bet he takes the ladies out on good dates too.
10. Michael del Zotto
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“Michael Del Zotto does wedding photoshoot, does not actually get married”
“New Vancouver Canucks defenceman Michael Del Zotto was named one of our nation's 25 Most Eligible Bachelors”
“Just showed up, plugged in his iPod without anybody asking, just plugged it in”
Michael del Zotto, more commonly known as DJ MDZ has Italian heritage as you might realize in his name. He’s got curls curls curls. Simple, overall goof who often thinks too highly of himself. Further he’s the absolute kind and friendly standard Canadian. 
11. Erik Gudbranson
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YOU CANT TELL ME HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE GQ COVER!!! Certified male model Erik Gudbranson. God definitely was in a very good mood when he gave him his face. His nose is straight and thin, it just makes you want to tap on it. His smile is very comforting and so is his look. His eyebrows are a statement. This guy knows for sure what a hairstyle is. His sense of fashion is straight out of a fashion magazine. The scrub is just the whipped cream on top, his face is artwork. 
12. Markus Granlund
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Looks quiet and serious but has a great sense of humor and arguably some of the best Instagram posts. He’s from Finland so if you want a Finnish player we have all ages. He’s got pretty green eyes.
13. Alex Biega
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Alex Biega is a cute family man. Great with kids, nice, cute smile, rosy cheeks, nice nose. Con: he has no hair, but you don’t see that when he’s wearing a helmet.
Next up: our young guns! They are all handsome af and just overall lovable. They’re fast and speedy and some of them are thicc af. Save the best for last, our personal favorites.
14. Ben Hutton
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1. If you’re ever feeling down, watch a hutton video, he’s happy 24/7 and knows how to have fun. 2. He’s always smiling and his smile can brighten a room. 3. Those dance moves tho. Who knew a “Barbie girl” lip sync could be so hot. 
15. Darren Archibald
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He is a wall, he is badass and that makes him so ass. His skin looks very soft and his beard does actually look good, not like Guddys. HIS BEARD IS PERFECT. His eyebrows are straight up goals and look at the dark, kind brown of his eyes. Beautiful.
16. Bo Horvat
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Bo’s face is chiseled like a god. He carries his dog because he doesn’t want to make him walk. He love to go to the beach with his dog but he doesn’t let him swim because he’s “more of a sinker”. His nose is very cute and his body is damn well trained you can just look at him forever. Bo has very soft short hair and he is often amused by Brock’s non-existant smile. 
17. Brendan Gaunce
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Baby face Brendan Gaunce has the hairstyle of a guy from elementary school. His lips are so red at all times it’s inhuman. He looks very innocent but it feels like he’s not. He’s just kind of there, no one really knows how or why. Kind of looks like a little baby deer. 
18. Tyler Motte
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Fact: There are no good pics of him in the inter webs. Tyler “Applesauce” Motte kinda looks like a college kid from a frat. He’s a very fast skater and his penalty killing is absolutely sexie. 
19. Nic Dowd
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Dowdy is just overall an incredibly handsome guy. That hair line and the wavy fluff, can you see it? Beautiful. The cheek bones? Beautiful. He could work as a male model if he wanted but fortunately he plays hockey to bless us with his beautiful face. 
20. Troy Stecher
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Stechy has straight up the most adorable dog on this planet. Let’s be real if anyone says Phoebe isn’t their favorite Canuck they’re lying. Kind of an underrated defence man so not a lot of people fully appreciate him. He’s like that rough and tough hockey player that’s also very adorable. His voice is simply great. 
21. Brendan Leipsic
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Where do we start here? First of all he calls his dog his son and it’s very adorable. Also his curls. CURLS. They match his face so well and they are absolutely adorable. His lips have a perfect shape and look so soft. Generally his face looks just super soft and kind. Also, have you ever noticed his fashion sense? Definitely one of the best dressed guys on the team. He’s also very aggressive on the ice and he hustles and works very well with our favorite d-man Derrick Pouliot. His nickname is delicious country gravy because he works so well with the chicken strip.
22. Brock Boeser
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Here we go, it’s time for Prince Charming! The hockey community on here already knows how great he is and look I even found a rare footage of his shiny smile. Whenever he smiles he helps the global warming because his smile melts icebergs. Awesome. He always chews on his mouthguard rather than use it and his mom doesn’t like that. Oh, he also went to prom with a girl who has down syndrome and that’s really the type of guy he is. His flow is legendary and often his hair look like actual gold. He leaked his hair routine and apparently he just uses Head and Shoulders shampoo. 
23. Nikolay Goldobin
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Goldy is the most adorable Russian puppy you can find anywhere in the NHL. His hair are super fluffy and he doesn’t know how to wear a hat but that only makes him look even more adorable. His nose is so small and round it’s absolute gold! Don’t even get me started on his eyebrows because they are flawless! He got the most innocent and sweet smile out there, he always seems happy. You want to squeeze his cheeks and generally just hug him. It seems like he gives nice hugs. 
24. Sven Bärtschi
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@baercheese is here to confess her love: “My cute little Swiss boy ♥ my forever favourite & definitely underrated in the looks department & as a hockey player. His nose might not be straight but it’s still cute (I will fight you if you disagree) and his hair is always slicked back to perfection👌🏻 If you haven’t heard him talk you need to because he has a sight accent and it’s my favourite thing in the entire world 😍 He’s also a known dog lover & has a dog named Bear (named after himself basically), what’s not to love?”
25. Derrick Pouliot
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Derrick Pouliot, also commonly known as Poulet, chicken strip and super strip is our cutest chubby teddy defenseman and we all know it. He grew up in the middle of nowhere in Saskatchewan and not a lot of people got to appreciate his beauty so far. His hair are the pure fluff and make you just want to run your hands through it. His face looks so soft, his eyes are warm and you just want to squeeze his cheeks ngl. Listen to his voice once and you never want to listen to something else ever again. He is not really tall and his hockey gear looks kind of too big for him, the others love to pat his head. Sometimes his hair get a little curly and it’s just the cutest thing ever. Just by looking at him you can tell that he gives the best and softest hugs ever and he makes you feel comfortable at all times. He is really silent and not outgoing, he needs a lot of time to feel comfortable with new people but that’s totally okay. He’s super cute with kids and just overall totally lovely and kind. A real Canadian.
26. Jake Virtanen
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Jake Virtanen is the ultimate snack. He’s half Canadian, half Finnish and 100% babe. The man can skate. Fast. Right into my heart. To quote the great philosopher of our time, Taylor Swift, he’s so gorgeous, it actually hurts. He has the cutest dance moves and the most precious smile. When he does that little slanted smile, I swoon, you swoon, we swoon. Bonus: When he works hard his face turns red and it’s adorable lmao.
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