#And I hate it when our teacher shows of films especially when we watched one about British and French troops getting repeatedly bombed

[comfortabletogether]

happy 80th anniversary of D-Day or the American, British and Canadian invasion of the beaches of Normandy.

personally i take today as a day of remembrance of what my family had lost instead of it being a turning point in the war.

also fuck you to the kids in my military history class who like Germany in the 1940’s or simp over WWII Italy and Germany’s leaders. It’s frankly disgusting.

[dailysimoneashley]

Actress Simone Ashley, 27, grew up in Surrey before moving to Los Angeles alone at 17. She found fame starring in Netflix’s Sex Education, watched by 40 million in its first month. She starred in season two of Bridgerton, which became Netflix’s most watched show in English in its first week. She lives in London ~ Times UK

Teachers called me “the brown girl” at school. I remember if I ever failed a test or misbehaved, the teachers would say, “Which one? Oh, the brown girl.” My first kiss was with a really popular boy in primary school but he denied it to our friends and said, “I would never kiss the brown girl.” I don’t speak about it much because I don’t want it to sound like trauma porn, but it is very real.

I didn’t grow up in a world where people would say, “You’re brown and beautiful.” I have always loved the colour of my skin. But the more I work in this industry, I look back and think no young person should ever feel discriminated against like I was.

We had champagne after we finished the sex scenes in Bridgerton. It felt like we’d done the hardest bit of the whole 11-month shoot. We did all of our intimacy scenes in one week. It’s a lot, gearing up for that every day and making sure you have enough sleep, doing whatever you have to do to make you feel ready. I am confident in myself and my body.

Therapy helps me clear my head. It can be a bit of a circus in this industry. There have been times when it was overwhelming, lonely and all a little bit crazy. The worst thing to do is to feel like the world is against you. Therapy has helped me learn how to communicate better, control my emotions and find useful skills for when things feel overwhelming. It means I can not take life so seriously and just enjoy it. If you can afford therapy, it’s an interesting way to learn more about yourself. Taking responsibility for yourself and who you are as an adult is important.

Corsets push everything down to the bottom of your stomach. That means when you take them off, you’ve got a little bump. I hated wearing those corsets filming Bridgerton. They’re so beautiful, but I hate them – never again! Luckily, we’re allowed to wear bras now instead and that has changed everything for me. I can do a 12-hour day and feel comfortable.

Going to an all-girls’ school made me grow up late. I was late to the part where I was interested in boys, and other parts of being a teenage girl. I was very much still a child when I was 14 or 15.

My mum tried to teach us Hindi and Tamil, but we grew up watching Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap. Growing up between England and California, it was hard for me to tap into that. My mum would speak on the phone in Hindi, or talk to us in it, and I understood it. That ability has gone now, but I feel at home when I hear other people speaking it. Because I left home so young, I didn’t have the means or freedom to spend much time with my family in India. My mum also made me play French video games, so I learnt bits of French.

I wasn’t happy in England as a teenager. All of us have had a bit of a rough time at school. But I felt happy in California, where I spent a lot of time as a kid.

I want to give more people tattoos. When I was bored in Los Angeles in lockdown, I did lots of stuff like tie-dying and learning a language. Then I realised how easy it was to get a rotary tattoo pen, found a nice design and gave myself a tattoo. On some sets that I work on, people are like, “Cool, when we wrap, give me a tattoo.”

My white male counterparts have had it very differently from me. They have more of a voice. I have had to work harder to have that kind of equality. I have learnt to have my own power. I might be different, but if I respect myself and use my voice, eventually the people around me will give me that same treatment.

Empowering a minority shouldn’t be taboo. Especially in the UK, we love Indian food, we watch so many movies inspired by Bollywood music. The people from that community deserve to be empowered and loved. It shouldn’t be a taboo thing to say, you’re brown and amazing.

Simone Ashley stars in a short film for Johnnie Walker’s Bold Steps campaign with Diet Paratha

[ofgentleresolve]

MUN AND MUSE QUESTIONS ♡ ( MYUNGDAE. )

List 5 of your muse’s favourite sensations.

The sound of Nell’s fingers typing on her keyboard.

The taste of coffee from Alfred’s coffeehouse.

The sight of pigeons taking flight only to return.

The smell of lilies of the valley.

The warm touch of a beloved one against him.

Do they have any pet peeves?

For someone who can be difficult to be around ( aka there are just not a lot of environments that he feels comfortable in or can even tolerate ), he doesn’t actually have that many…mostly because he tends to zone out if he’s not in Black Knight mode so he wouldn’t know :’D

That being said, people who like to scare off the pigeons for fun is probably one. He also hates analog clocks and especially the sound of ticking clocks, but that’s less of a pet peeve and more of a legitimate fear.

Their comfort read? (could be a book, magazine, comics, etc)

Greek and Roman mythology of any kind- he devoured them both in secondary school and has now returned to them because they’re familiar to him, he knows what happens, and therefore that makes them safe. It’s the reason when the university asked him what literature he specializes in, he picked Greek and Roman Mythology because he knows them both like the back of his hand.

If the book they are reading turns out to be shit, do they push through  just for the sake of finishing it, or do they move on and find something else?

Myungdae barely reads anything that isn’t related to his classes so even if he does like the book he’s currently reading, he might forget to come back and finish it 😢 that being said, if the book he is reading isn’t that engaging, he’ll probably just drop it and find something else to do ( when the brain fog isn’t kicking in :| ). it does frustrate/upset him though not being able to put the energy into finishing everything he read because that’s what he used to be able to do and now?? he can’t even summon the willpower to even start a book :’(

Their comfort tv show / film

He doesn’t watch a lot of tv shows/films because a lot of media has content that makes his body shut down…that being said, Nell has dragged him over for a Jane Austen movies/series marathon once and he quite enjoyed it <3

A song that is currently stuck in their head? (or multiple)

Mmmm, he’s not really a music person. Do the sound of feathers ruffling or birds/duck sounds count tho?

The next three questions are for you. do you have anything special in common with your character.

Thankfully, I do not have many similarities with Myungdae because bruh, he’s been through a lot, I promise you, my life is much stabler <3 that being said, this is going to intersect with Patrick too, so we both work in academic settings although I work more in administration- he’s a teacher.

We’re good at keeping a cool head in the face of crisis.

We’re also both very content to stay in the background and do our own thing.

What brings you the most joy about writing this character, right now?

I don’t know if I can say writing him brings me joy necessarily since he’s really going through the wringer and that hurts…BUT I will say, it is very interesting to me to be able to write and explore this version of him since in his main verse, he’s much more stable, a very tranquil person in essence….whereas here I get to see what happens if that tranquility is taken away. How does he react to that, how does he cope with it and essentially how does he move forward?

That, and of all of my characters, he ( Patrick ) seem to bring out the most ‘literature’ side of my writing if that makes any sense…whereas say someone like Mana and Lam would be more direct, straight to the point, Myungdae tends to be more…roundabout, elegant, one might say ( although simplicity doesn’t mean it’s not elegant ), I think a better comparison is he speaks the way you might expect an orator would. Sophisticated. Makes me wish I could write like that in my writing outside of Tumblr :’D

Who would win in a fight, you or them?

Hands down, Myungdae, but if I did win, I’d then have to go through at least two, three more people, you know who you are :’)

Any advice from your muse?

“You will have to make a choice. Choose wisely and do what is right...but don’t forget there will be people affected by your decision. They may be hurt by what you do; still see it through to the end.”

tagged by: you know, someone probably has....i also just felt like filling it out :’D tagging: steal it because i stole it but also.... @phantombs​ @gwyynbleidd​ ( bc i saw u on mi dash....do for katara?? ) @eternasci​ @wellfell​ <3

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Pop Culture and When I Was a Kid

So I just watched The Orange Years, a documentary about the early years in creative development at Nickelodeon, which was a huge part of my childhood. The Orange Years were MY Nickelodeon years, with The Adventures of Pete and Pete and Doug and Ren and Stimpy and especially You Can't Do That On Television (if Egon Spengler was my first parasocial crush, Alasdair Gillis was my second...and yes Canadian friends...I've had a lifelong affinity for irreverent Canadian television).

Anyway, I liked the film, and as they moved into the shows that my brother's generation feels nostalgia for, they started discussing Are You Afraid of the Dark? and one of the show creators said they were prepared for pushback from parents about how edgy some of the content was. And they were surprised they didn't get any. And I thought, "Well of course they didn't get any." My parents didn't give even the tiniest of shits what kind of media I was consuming as a kid, or even what I was doing at all as a kid with only a small number of caveats, which were:

Don't get bad grades (because that requires time and effort on our part to meet with and interact with teachers and try to improve them).

Don't get into trouble in school or otherwise in public (because then we have to...again...deal with school or neighbors or God forbid law enforcement).

Don't do things you know or even just suspect could make you injured, sick, or dead (to avoid any work on your behalf from us).

Be quiet and out of our way, entertaining yourself somehow (so we don't have to engage with you).

These rules didn't censor any media. I could read all I wanted, listen to any music I wanted (as long as they couldn't hear it), watch anything on television I wanted. No way would my parents ever push to remove a program from TV or a book from the library or get some label put on an album cover. They super didn't care. And I think most parents outside of rigid fundamentalist religion didn't care in the late 70s-90s. And honestly, I think that's good. Not that I don't care what my son consumes. I don't want him to get on some express YouTube or TikTok train to the alt-right cesspool, obviously. But J and I don't censor what media he consumes. He knows what we value and believe. He has a sense of empathy. If he does see Q or some other crazy racist sexist hate-fueled shitheads talking garbage on the internet, I'm confident he'll blow them off because we let him watch That 70s Show, and listen to Miles Davis, and The Velvet Underground and Nico, and Radiohead. So that's good. That's a thing I appreciated and thought was good enough about my own childhood that I didn't change it with my own kid. And I think it's something that many if not most of people my own age experienced at some level in common with me. My sort of proof is that no other parents were complaining about the subversive programming on Nickelodeon, not even, it seems, the uptight religious right.

But then I thought about when I watched Stranger Things season 1 with J, and how earnestly dumbfounded he was that Mike Wheeler could get away with hiding and feeding and dressing Eleven in the basement without his parents noticing. And I said, "I 100% could have hidden a kid in my basement without my parents knowing it...if we had a basement (we did not)." And then he made that Sad Face he always makes when I casually drop information about how clearly neglected and ignored I was as a kid. That is something I know I didn't share with most of my peers.

I already had proof of that before J's Stranger Things Sad Face. Because I used to go to my friend S's (girl) or S's (guy) or R's or L's house, and their parents were always so kind and welcoming and attentive. We hung out in the basement, but they definitely knew we were there. Made us chili dip and ordered us pizza and offered us drinks and asked us about school or after school jobs or extracurriculars (KNEW what extracurriculars we were in; KNEW where our after school jobs were).

Now we're that house. And our son's best friend comes over here...in fact most of his friends come over here...fairly often for not being drivers yet, and the Boy gets kinda bummed about it. Because he doesn't get invited to his friends' homes nearly as often. So I tried to tell him it's because we're the safe house; we're the friendly, attentive house. That's something I'm glad I've definitely changed about when I grew up as a parent.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Sean and I are currently re-watching these for the podcast (shameless plug; our update schedule is 'we do this for kicks and it'll happen when it happens'), and the queer coding starts in the first one with the prissy, femme-y manager and then Child's Play 2 has two very satisfying deaths of minor characters who are definitely people who were hated by queers at the time. Yuppies and anyone who liked Nancy Reagan.

The Nancy Reagan-esque teacher (she's even wearing a Just Say No) pin is especially satisfying.

I have not seen Child's Play 3 in an age, so no comment. But I've seen Bride and Seed more recently, and yes, the queer stuff is a little out-of-date, but for the time? It's solid. The gay best friend in Bride has the most braincells out of the main three, and while the Glen/Glenda stuff in Seed is definitely the most dated of all the queer writing, it's not MEAN.

Haven't seen the show, yet, but I really am very, very glad that Mancini has kept his rights and been able to do what he wants. Curse of Chucky, which was his first film in the franchise since Seed is a lot of fun. I remember liking Cult of Chucky a little less, but there may have been gummies involved.

Anyway, I really like this franchise (and even the complete reboot with Aubrey Plaza is good), but I especially like that a gay man with an idea in 1989 has been able to see it through to 2022. That's fucking rad.

The Chucky franchise is something that sticks in my head as queer media that is so messy but so earnest.

Watching Seed of Chucky as a nonbinary intersex person can be uncomfy, because it hasn't necessarily aged well (like many other things in the series, admittedly), but you know what? That character is canonically genderfluid now! The iffy parts are being worked on and improved and expanded on right now in the TV show! That's cool! And that's only one of the queer characters that exists in the series--there are a ton more!

It's so genuinely impressive to me that a gay man has managed to create and hold onto an iconic franchise since 1988, despite the existence of a studio cash-grab reboot movie. Queer artists get so heavily censored that I just really gotta respect the fuck out of Don Mancini for sticking with the series and telling queer stories in spite of all the queerphobia in our society.

[feminist-space]

"“Oh, look,” I deadpan as I read the latest message from someone letting me know that they saw my photo on TikTok being shared in a hurtful way. “Surprise, surprise!”

I joke because I’m definitely not surprised. As a disabled woman, people ridiculing and mocking my appearance is practically the most predictable thing about social media.

I was born with Freeman-Sheldon syndrome, a genetic bone and muscular disorder, and I’m also a freelance writer and disability activist, which means that part of my job is being very active and visible on social media. And because I look different, people have called me everything from “disgusting” to “a blobfish” to saying that I should be banned from posting photos of myself because I’m too ugly.

I’d thought I’d seen it all. But a few weeks ago, I discovered it was happening again on TikTok through something called the New Teacher Challenge. It’s the latest viral trend in which parents show their children photos of disabled people, who they say is their child’s new teacher. The kids' reactions — typically frightened and embarrassed — is filmed, of course. And it’s all done for a laugh.

I’m not laughing, though, because none of this is funny. I’m utterly disgusted.

When motivational speaker and author Lizzie Velasquez recently discovered that her photo was being used by a mom who filmed her son’s terrified reaction, she took to her Instagram to condemn the trend and call on parents to set a better example for their children.

“TikTok, I need your help,” she explained. “If you are an adult who has a young human in your life, please do not teach them that being scared of someone who doesn't look like them is okay. Please. Everything that these kids need to know about empathy and being kind to one another starts at home.”

Adults who actually think this is okay, and worse...even funny, should know better. There’s absolutely no excuse. They should be the ones teaching their children how harmful and hurtful these pranks are, not laughing in the background as their child recoils at the sight of a disabled person. We live in a society where people who look “different” are seen as ugly and grotesque; those messages start being taught at a young age. Think about how many Disney villains have some sort of deformity.

I can’t help but feel sorry for their children. Imagine your mom filming a vulnerable moment, one where you can't help but burst into tears, and they actually post it for the whole world to see. How is humiliating your child, or watching other children go through that, a source of amusement?

The TikTok prank has only reinforced how important disability representation is, especially given the fact that 61 million adults in the United States live with a disability — that’s one in four. Beyond that, we need to normalize seeing people who don’t look like us or our family members. We need to teach the next generation that our differences should be celebrated, not feared or mocked.

“We need to stop acting like a face that is different is inherently bad or scary, or something worthy of a ridiculous and cruel TikTok trend,” says writer Ariel Henley, who was born with Crouzon syndrome, and no stranger to cruel words being lobbed her way online. “I dream of the day when a face like mine is so normal it’s a non-issue.”

So far, TikTok hasn’t done much to combat this online hate. When people report accounts that have been using my photos in this challenge, they’ve received statements that TikTok has found no violation of the platform’s rules. It’s not just there. When I’ve reported Twitter accounts for posting photos of a blobfish to bully me, more often than not, Twitter says it doesn’t violate any rules either.

I want to be clear: I am violated. Every single time. Each photo, taunt, and cruel word is a clear violation of my dignity and my worth as a human being. And every time these platforms fail to take action, they’re sending the message that this bullying is okay. So many disabled people have become inured to our appearance being mocked. That’s not something we should ever have to get used to.

One of my favorite disability activists is Carly Findlay, an Australian writer who was born with a rare severe skin condition that causes a facial difference. She regularly fights back against people who mock her appearance online. After Reddit linked to her blog in 2013 and a flood of hateful comments ensued, she took her power back by actually responding to the post by educating people about her facial difference.

“This turned the responses from disgusted and hateful to more empathetic,” she said. “My confidence soared.”

Findlay wants to see a future where young people grow up being “accepting and inclusive and never fearful.” This hope for a brighter, less ableist future is the reason I continue to be so visible and vocal on social media.

Disabled writer Karin Hitselberger also routinely posts selfies on social media in an attempt to normalize disabilities, which are a “beautiful part of the natural diversity of our world.”

“The trend teaches people that disabled people are something to be afraid of,” she says. “Trends like this one perpetuate the narrative that we are less than human.”

Disabled people aren’t here for your ridicule. We’re not punchlines. We’re people. It’s my hope that more people (and platforms, too — TikTok, I’m also looking at you) join us in this fight. We need you all. Disabled or not."

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/08/9987054/new-teacher-challenge

[cookiekobold]

I dislike and make fun of german TV and Til Schweiger-films as much as any other german. However, I hate 'I didn't know Germany even had 185 actors'-jokes! Because they hurt. Especially now, they hurt so much. Why, you ask?

I work at a theatre. (Behind the scenes, not as an actor, but still) Right now, I have a front row seat watching the german theater, music and art scene die.

Yes, Germany has more than 185 actors. (And more than 185 of them are Queer). And right now, they are desperate.

The lucky ones are employed at city or state funded theatres, same goes for stage technicians or musicians in orchestras. We will probably survive, because we get 'Kurzarbeit'. (Thought we do have to fight even in normal years to get funding, so I wouldn't be suprised if some cities use this as an excuse to close their theatres for good)

The unlucky ones are self-employed and work contract-to-contract. Contracts that do not exist right now. Same goes for musicians, roadies, stage technicians,...

You can apply for 'Coronahilfen' for running costs like rent for office space or paying wages. Running costs that these people do not have. An actors running costs are the food they eat and the rent for the space they live in. (EDIT: seems like the newest 'Überbrückungshilfe III' is also available for 'Soloselbstständige'. Small progress I guess)

There are businesses like clubs or indipendant theatres that do qualify for 'Coronahilfen', but often they get too little, too late.

So, how can you help?

1)Please, please, when this is all over, go to your local theatre, go see a live band, visit a museum exhibition,...

  1a) Buy tickets for shows now (even if they might be rescheduled) or gift vouchers for theatres/clubs/etc.

   1b) If you think that theatre is boring and old fashioned, try a different one or even just a different play (often plays that are not 'Deutschunterichtlektüre' are more diverse and creative, because we don't need to pander to german teachers)

Same goes for indipendant theatres, they are often more experimental and modern than city theatres.

2) Interact with us! We love feedback! In my theatre, there is a pin board where all e-mails etc. that reach us are hung up. Tell us when you liked/disliked a play! (And why) Tell us when there was an aspect you want to see more often!

In general, we want to make art that is well recieved and liked by the public. So we need feedback to adjust our repertoire. (Just don't expect imidiate change, in general the schedule is planed a year in advance.)

3) Check out #AlarmstufeRot (mostly on twitter) and alarmstuferot(.)org

It is an alliance of people and companies in the event industry that try to get the governement to listen to their struggles right now.

4) Many theatres have uploaded online content, maybe check your local theatres website.

5) Indipendant theatres and other culture centeres are sometimes organised as a 'Verein'. Check out wether there are any around you and become a member.

I'm sorry for ranting, it's just that I love theatre and live music and I'm so tired of the uncertainty that I've been living with for a year now and watching my friends struggle.

[blessednereid]

Pity the Living

Daniel Sharman x Reader Series

A/N: The Much Requested, and By Requested, I mean @rogershoe wanted me to write this, MY DANIEL SHARMAN FANFICTION!!!!!! The character that Y/N plays is based on my OC for FTWD and is not an actual character in FTWD. Basic Premise of the setting for this chapter is that they're in high-school/ secondary school. But for the majority of the story(minus flashbacks) it's set in 2016/17 when s3 of FTWD was filmed.

Story Summary: When (Y/N) (L/N) reunites with a high-school friend on the set of the job she's been working on for the past 2-3 years, not only is she excited to work with the guy who inspired her to go into acting, but to hear about what he's done since she's seen him. But the more they talk, the more she realizes, this reunion is not going the way she had planned.

CW: Cursing? brief mention of alcohol, anxiety, mentions of food, fake dagger, fake blood, bets,

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Career Day

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Most of the students around you were chorusing to the tune of your school anthem, but not you. You had heard the melody and sung it almost a million times. Whether you were exaggerating or not, not even you knew. Instead, you were whispering and laughing with one of your best friends, Daniel Sharman.

You met Daniel when you first came to the school. You didn't know many people. You didn't even know yourself in this place. It was a completely foreign experience, but he stuck by your side and showed you around.

Since then, you had made friends, joined the swim team, learned your way around the school without ending up in the boys' restrooms instead of the girls' ones. Despite not needing Daniel to show you around anymore, he still provided plenty of comedic support and pick-me-ups and was a great mate all around.

Your teacher had just finished introducing all the parents who were presenting at career day. The assignment being after the presentations were finished, you were supposed to think about what you wanted to be in the future. You had no idea what you wanted to be. But of course… Daniel did.

"An actor."

"An actor?" he nodded. "Like Macbeth?"

"No, Macbeth is a character. An actor is a person who plays the character."

"Why an actor?"

"Dunno. Just seems right."

You frowned. "Huh, that's nice. Knowing what you want to be."

"You could always try acting. It's worth a shot."

"Hah, if I ever tried acting, it would probably be when I'm old, senile, and look like Betty White."

"Oh, come on. You're a great actress!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Sharman?" you gasped.

"Just that you tell fibs and stories as if they were the truth. That's all acting is."

"I DO NOT!"

"How did you convince your mum that your dog jumped onto the table and ate the cake without making any noise last weekend, then?" You opened your mouth to speak before closing it.

"Cat got your tongue?" he teased.

"Shut up, Sharman."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

L/N Residence

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

You and Daniel were both swimming in the pool in your backyard when Daniel asked you the question.

"Did you think about it?"

Still floating, you asked, "About what?"

"Acting."

You laughed incredulously. "You were serious?"

"Of course I was." He swam closer to you and pulled your leg down, making you flop around and splash water.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"Was just trying to get your attention," he remarked innocently.

You coughed. "You had it."

"Picture this," he waved you off. "Us, on the red carpet-"

"Who's red carpet?"

"Does it matter? We'll be each other's dates anyways."

"Why is that?" you asked.

"Because we're best friends."

"What if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend?"

He shrugged. "Ok, whatever. We're on the red carpet separately. It's both of ours red carpet-"

"So, does that mean we're in a movie together?"

"Yes, Y/N," he muttered exasperatedly.

"But that's impossible?"

"Why do you say that?"

You leaned closer to his ear. "BECAUSE I'M NOT BECOMING AN ACTOR."

He jumped away from you, proceeding to splash you with water.

"Mark my words. I know talent when I see it."

You sighed. "Could this just be you not wanting to be lonely in the acting world?"

He jutted his lip and spoke in a whiny voice. "Maybe…"

You laughed before splashing a giant wave of water at him. While he still had water in his eyes, you dove under and pulled him down.

He flailed around before his head popped up, and he calmed down.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"PAYBACK, SHARMAN!"

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Announcement

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

The intercom gave a heavy buzz, and static-y noises ran amok over the building before a voice actually came through the speakers.

"Hello, Teachers, Students, and Faculty. Welcome back to school. We hope that you all enjoyed your holidays and got the rest you needed to pay attention in class today," the last part was passive. Your principal gave more announcements for clubs and sports around the school, such as upcoming games or reminders for students to buy the school yearbook.

You were nodding along interested, or looking for interest really when something caught your best friend's attention.

"The school will also be hosting its first-ever play, Romeo and Juliet. Interested people should report to the music room before the end of the week to receive information."

You saw Daniel's eyes widen only moments before he spoke up. "Hey," he waved at you. "You should audition!"

"Daniel, are you insane?"

He chuckled, "No, but I think you'd like it."

You tried arguing, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You're the one who said you didn't know what you wanted to do after you graduated. Doing this cannot hurt."

"Yeah, it can't hurt until I trip on my costumes and break my neck!"

"That rarely ever happens," he said exasperatedly. "Ok, how about this? You audition, and if you end up getting a role and actually doing the play, I'll give you fifty pounds."

You squinted. "Do you even have fifty pounds to give me?"

"Do you even have to ask," he feigned shock in the accusation? You gave a sour face before he truthfully answered. "Fine, I don't have it now. But I will by the time the play comes around."

"What do I get just for auditioning?"

"I'll convince my mum to make that cake you like."

"Fine."

"BUT!" he exclaimed. "You have to audition for Juliet."

"You're kidding?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not. You have to audition for Juliet."

"I hate you," you mumbled before sighing a whispered 'fine.'

He gave a toothy smile. "Then we have a deal."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Auditions

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

You reluctantly walked onto the stage, Daniel's widening grin so visible in the audience. He said that he only put his name on the audition sheet so he could watch the auditions. He would've already been gone by the time it was his turn.

"Hello, My name is Y/n L/n, and I am auditioning for Juliet," your lips pressing into a straight line after saying the sentence.

You stammered through your first few lines. "Sh-Shall I speak ill of him— that is my husband?" You said with a laugh.

"Ah," you paused and clicked your tongue. "Poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name… When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?"

You said your following line in an accusatory manner. "But wherefore, villain... didst thou kill my cousin?" you said, though your voice squealed trying to pronounce 'didst.' "That villain cousin would have killed my husband."

"Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring!" Your voice rose and fell several octaves. "Your tributary drops belong to woe, Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." Fake tears spring to your eyes, your voice cracked, and you began slowly falling against an invisible wall.

You looked down at your paper for what to say next. "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?" You wiped your cheeks dramatically.

"Some word there was, worser than Tybalt's death, That murd'red me. I would forget it fain;" your lips quivered, and you sucked in deep, heaving breaths before speaking your line.

"But O, it presses to my memory. Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners' minds! 'Tybalt is dead, and Romeo--banishèd!" You shouted.

You stood back up in a startling jump, and with a proud smile, you said triumphantly, "And Scene!"

The directors and some students in the audience, especially Daniel, gave a round of applause before the director dismissed you.

You took the steps to the stage and sat next to Daniel as the director called the next student to audition.

"You were amazing! The director might as well have given you the role right then and there."

You laughed, "Hang on, charmer. There were a bunch of Juliet's who literally said that entire thing so… fluently. I stammered through the whole thing."

"But you showed more emotion than anyone else. You only had a week to prepare. The actual show will be like child's play."

"They want people who can memorize and recite. The emotion can be added later, but it's worth nothing if they forget their lines."

"There is such a thing called improvising for a reason," he reassured.

"Who in their right, bloody minds wants to improvise Shakespeare?"

He turned his head and chuckled before waving a five-pound note in front of your face. "Here, I got to go before they call me, but you earned this at least."

"Five pounds for being forced to audition for a stupid play so you can prove a point? Wow, you must really fancy me, huh, Sharman?" you said sarcastically.

"Goodbye, L/n," he whispered before sneaking out the back door of the auditorium.

"Alright, next up. Daniel Sharman!" The director shouted your friend's name a few more times before giving up.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Headmasters Office

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

A week after your audition, you were called to the headmasters' office. Thus is the cause of the curious looks from your classmates. Oohs and Aahs flooded your ears as you grabbed your bag and headed out the door to the front of the school.

When you got to the front of the building and went into the headmasters' office, you saw the Theatre director, Ms Parker, standing behind the desk. "Headmaster Leo allowed me to use his office to do this. Isn't that cool?"

Ms Parker was one of the younger teachers in school. She was twenty-four, and this was her first year teaching after receiving her bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in music production. A fact she could astoundingly ramble about for fifteen minutes. As proven at the auditions.

"I didn't want to call you to the theatre room. That would be too predictable, correct?" You'd come to realize she was a very eccentric woman. "I have called you in here to inform you that you have been selected to perform in this year's play of Romeo and Juliet."

A wave of shock coursed through your body, and you were sure it reflected on your face. "Are you sure?"

"Darling, I'm positive!- your audition was totally spectacular! So brilliant-in fact- that I am completely sure in my choice to make you our female lead- Juliet!"

"What!" Your eyes widened into a blank stare. Your thoughts were running rampant in your mind. You thought that performing on the stage would be a breeze when you weren't the lead.

"Ms Parker, I didn't actually want the part of Juliet! It's just that my friend dared me to audition for Juliet! Is there no way I can get a smaller part? I'm no Juliet. The show would be ruined," you rambled.

The directors' facial expressions softened, "Darling, you are the only choice. None of the other people who auditioned can even compare to the amount of passion you produced in that audition. I am determined to have you as our Juliet."

You whimpered out an "Ok." Professors had a strange way of convincing you to do extra credit assignments or things that aren't necessary.

"We have a chemistry read for you and a few of our other choices for Romeo after school today. Do you need to contact a parent to let them know where you'll be?"

"Uh, yes, please."

After you made your call, you walked back to your classroom with shaky hands. The class period was almost over, but you had to tell Daniel that you had gotten a part in the show. Not just any part- THE PART!

You shuffled into the classroom reluctantly. All eyes were on you as every student had assumed you'd been in trouble. Either suspended, expelled, or told your parents were going to have a sit-down with the headmaster.

You took your seat next to Daniel before taking out a piece of paper and writing out a note, encompassing the words, "I got the part!"

You slid the sheet discreetly onto his desk. When he read it, his eyes widened, and he quietly moved his hands toward yours, beckoning for a high five.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

First Rehearsal

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

After the chemistry read, the role of Romeo was given to a kid named James Mercer-Allen got the part. Though it was more because the directors were starting to become tired.

The next day was the first rehearsal. Swimming season was last semester, so there was no clash in schedules with the play.

"Alright, this rehearsal is to get acquainted with the stage, your fellow actors, and directors," she insisted. "Now, let's introduce ourselves. Can our Romeo please stand up?"

James stood up and gave a brief introduction. You were called on next. You stated your name, "I was on the swim team last semester, and I'm in my thirteenth year. I hope I can do this role justice."

More students stood up to introduce themselves. The entire process took more than thirty minutes.

The next thing to happen was that the rest of the students were called to recite lines for various roles. The only parts that had been cast preliminarily were Romeo and Juliet.

You and James had sat on the wooden stools unless there was a scene going on that needed Romeo and/or Juliet.

By the end of the first rehearsal, the majority of the speaking roles were cast. You went home exhausted but not expecting the conversation that waited for you.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

The Talk

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

"We're moving?" you shouted at your parents from your seat across from them in the sitting room. "What do you mean we're moving."

"Honey, your dad got a job in the states, so we have to move," your mother argued.

"But what about school? No school will take me in the middle of the year, and it's my last year of secondary school. I don't want to spend the rest of my last year knowing nobody."

Your dad, the man of the hour, spoke up. "Dear, we're moving at the end of the year. After school ends."

"But- What about Uni?"

"You said you were taking a sabbatical year!"

"Yes, so I could intern in London!"

"Can't you intern in California?" Your mother whined.

"We're going to California? It's the furthest state?"

Your dad attempted to reassure you but failed. "Darling, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it there more than you like it here!"

"I could never like anywhere more than I like it here!"

You agreed to go to your room and spent the rest of the day there. Later on, after you finished moping, you ringed up your closest friends to tell them you were moving. You did that until you were so tired you fell asleep on the phone with Sarah before you even called Daniel.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Confrontation

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

"Why am I hearing from everyone besides you that you're moving?" Daniel appeared out of thin air behind you, and the accusation was an assault on your conscience.

You could lie and tell him that you wanted to reveal that to him in person, or you could just tell him the truth- say you fell asleep. Mix-and-Match? You ended up just telling the truth. "I fell asleep when I was making some of my other calls. I was going to tell you, I swear!"

"Why didn't you call me first. I'm your best friend?"

"That's why! It was too hard. I kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because I didn't want to tell you, I don't want it to be true, and telling you of all people would make it feel real."

"Why can't you stay for Uni?"

"I already told my parents I was taking a gap year. I didn't apply to any colleges."

"Crap!" he sighed. "Ok, well, we're going to have to make the most of it. And! You're getting a going away party!"

"Daniel, I don't need-"

"No debate! You are getting a going away party!"

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Opening Night

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Four months later, after all the rehearsals and memorizations of lines. After much running around the entire film department, it was finally opening night, and your nerves were shot.

You were scrambling all morning to find everything you needed. All your costumes were at the school, but you still needed to bring your black leotard, skin-coloured tights, and wear your hair in an up-do style.

You decided to do your skincare routine, but your panic got the best of you, and you forgot what every single product was used for.

Daniel came over and helped you get ready but found you practically hyperventilating.

Your parents drove you both to the theatre, and when Ms Parker told you that Daniel couldn't be backstage, you promptly told her that he was your emotional support. After much arguing, she finally let him backstage.

Around an hour before showtime, the director told Daniel that he had to go wait in the audience if he already bought his ticket or that he had to go do it now.

Before he left, he gave you a pep-talk. "Hey, so one time, I was in this play, and the idea was that I was expelled, and there was a piece of paper I had to give my 'mother,' but I lost it. So we had to improvise, but I couldn't find the paper, and I felt horrible. So just know, even if you forget your lines, you must improvise, and remember, it still probably won't compare to the embarrassment I felt that day. So you can laugh at my humiliation. "

You chuckled, "I will. Ok, go before you get in trouble."

"Ok, me, our parents and all your friends will be in the front row. I've already reserved the entire row. I brought a whole bag of jackets just for that reason!"

"You can't do that," you said in between cackles.

"For you, I'll do anything," he grinned.

A few hours later and the show was almost done. "What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," you wept.

"O, churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to die with thine restorative." You leaned over James and let your hair fall to the side of your head to cover your face. You pulled back without actually kissing James.

"Thy lips are warm."

A whispery voice came from offstage, "Which way?" The cue for you to take the poison, which was actually cranberry juice.

"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" You grabbed the dagger and brought it near your chest. "This is thy sheath;" you drew the fake knife back three inches from your chest and stabbed it to where the bag of more cranberry juice was and punctured the bag. 'Blood' soaked through your dress. "There rust, and let me die." You fell dramatically onto the altar and waited for the scene to end as the crowd cheered.

After the show, you dashed into the crowd where your friends and family waited for you. Ovations and Applauses were passed, lauded boxes of chocolates and gorgeous roses were given.

When you got to Daniel, he practically tackled you with a hug. "I actually thought you died for a split second. The blood looked so real."

"Daniel, most people don't bleed that fast, do they?"

"I don't know but fear kicked in, and I couldn't make sense of anything."

You grinned and almost went to your parents before Daniel grabbed your arm. "You don't have a date to the Leavers ball, do you?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

He sighed. "Well, I was thinking that you could go with me. I don't have a date either."

You squinted, thinking there was some ulterior motive behind his actions. "Ok, I'll go with you if you give me the money you owe me before then."

"It's right here," he smiled.

Your face scrunched up, but you reluctantly agreed. You only had a month of school left, and you might as well spend it having fun with your friends.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

The Leavers Ball and the Getaway Party

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

You were dressed in a light blue, pleated, Mikado prom dress that cut off at mid-thigh. You had black wedges on your feet and a black pearl-beaded bracelet on your arm.

You were wearing a half-up, half-down style that framed your face and a silver necklace with a circle-shaped diamond.

You were sitting in the parlour when Daniel rang the doorbell. He was ten minutes late.

"Sorry," he said when your dad answered it. "I know I'm late. I was picking up Kat and James."

Kat and James were your and Daniel's respective friends who'd started last year after you and Daniel introduced them.

"Hi," you popped out of the shadows. "Alright, Mom, Dad, we're late, so we're just going to get goi-"

"Wait! I have to take pictures! Go get Kat and James."

"No, Mom. No pictures!"

"It's only right. I just want a few. We can take it outside."

You sighed but reluctantly caved into your mother's will.

The four of you took pictures outside of Daniel's Jeep Wrangler. You took ones with silly faces, just girls, just boys, and ones with all four of you before your parents allowed you to leave.

You were forty minutes late, and the ball was already in full swing by the time you got there.

You got on the dance floor immediately because one of your favourite songs was playing, but the DJ switched the song as soon as you found a decent spot. It was a slow song. You chuckled, and Daniel put his hands on your waist.

"Well, this is awkward."

A few minutes later, Daniel posed an interesting question.

"Did you know that I had a crush on you when you first came to school?"

"Uh, you stammered. "No, I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I did. It was short, though. Surface-level."

"Oh," you said. "Should I take offence to that?"

"What?" His eyes widened in realization with what he said. "No, that's not what I meant. You have an amazing personality. I just meant that… I just meant I like you more as a friend than to ruin that with any of those feelings."

"Oh, ok. You wouldn't have, though."

"I wouldn't?"

"No, everyone needs an ego boost every once in a while."

"Haha!"

"And besides, I've had feelings for you at one point too. But it was very cliche, so I tried to shake it as hard as I could."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "And did you?"

"Like I said, as hard as I could. If it's still there somewhere, it's buried very deep, so much so that I was embarrassed."

"Embarrassed to like me?"

"I mean embarrassed to try and make my life seem like some movie."

"Oh, well, if you did, it would've just made you that much better as an actress. Speaking of that, would you consider acting in the least?"

"Maybe, now that I'm leaving, it's basically the last thing I have to connect me to you."

"No," he said, pointing to your bracelet. "You have that."

You had forgotten that it was Daniel who gave it to you, but the realization brought a smile to your face. "Oh yeah, I'll never take it off."

Later on, long before the ball ended, you saw many of your friends leaving.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Daniel approached you.

"Where is everyone going?"

He wriggled his eyebrows. "Afterparty!"

"But it's not over?"

"Quit being a party popper and just come with us, L/N!"

You gave in, something you did a lot, and you all started driving. When you got there, you realized you were at Daniel's house.

"The afterparty is at your house?" you asked.

"Well…" James answered.

Kat joined in. "It's really an afterparty!"

"This is your going away party!" Daniel finished.

"But I'm not going away for another month."

"Well, now you have an entire month for people to give you gifts and stuff, and you don't have to worry about the party!" He reasoned.

"But why did it have to be after the Leavers ball?"

"Because you're already in a dress, and it has to be a surprise! Surprise!" Kat exclaimed.

"Alright, fine!"

The entire night you partied and danced, and though you didn't drink alcohol, plentiful amounts of pop and mocktails were passed around. The music was a delight to your ears with all your favourite songs. There were chips and pizza with all your favourite toppings.

"This party is awesome!"

Daniel grinned. "Well, I am an amazing party planner if I do say so myself."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Airport

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Daniel's parents drove your family to the airport. Your parents had sold the car. Your dad would return in a week to close a deal on the house. Everything was official, and now you were leaving.

You got out of the car, and the tears forcefully began to fall.

"I'm really gonna miss you, jerk," you said disdainfully to Daniel.

He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you more."

"Impossible!"

He wiped the fallen tear from your eye, and for a moment, you could see every single multi-coloured speck in his eyes and noticed how sometimes they looked blue, and at others, they looked grey or green.

You noticed the curvature of his smile and the chisel of his jawline.You saw the hurt in his eyes that said, 'why do you have to go? You're killing me,' and wanted to never move from that position.

He continued to rub the tears that fell onto your cheek, and the sad moment was as sheltered as it could be. You felt safe with him, in his arms, just looking at his face and being reminded of how he comforted you in a place that felt as familiar as Oz felt to Dorothy.

"What am I gonna do without you?" you whispered.

"Get at least one acting job, get an assistant and an agent, I'll do the same thing, and then either one of us has our assistants reach out to our agents, so we get back in touch in case we ever lose touch."

He sounded so grave that you couldn't help but laugh. "That's assuming I do become an actress, Daniel."

"You're right," he whined. "But don't forget me."

"I promise."

And you tried to keep that promise. Throughout your first year, you interned at UCLA, working in the lab. You then applied to go to school there, and you still tried to keep Daniel in your mind. Maintaining a social life on campus combined with schoolwork already wasn't easy. However, you still wouldn't let yourself forget your best friend.

It wasn't until you entered your senior year and you were about to graduate that he started to wane in your memories. The things you did together became obsolete as new friends and memories replaced the old. The things he taught you were thrown out to make space for the new lessons you learned each day.

Even when you did become an actress, you never really remembered why you decided to. You remembered that your friend pushed you to do that play, but it was almost ten years ago, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember his name.

But you did do it, first as an extra, then a body double, and then you started getting l roles on smaller shows. But your big break was getting a quasi-lead role on the spin-off of a big television show, The Walking Dead. For two years, you enjoyed going to conventions and playing the complex character, Valeria Bishop, and you thought you had it all figured out.

But life has a funny way of coming full circle and throwing you a curveball that knows you off course and changes your life.

[monkey-network]

Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

[life-rewritten]

Gifts of BL! Aka Christmas Goodies For BL Fans Who Want Important Discussions About   Representation.

Oh wow, we're closer to Christmas. Where has the time gone?. So here's a gift for you all—another list of great BLS that will make you have a great time. If you find it fun rewatching and feeling all the emotions from these love stories, then I hope you enjoy these. Today I bring you guys a list of recommendations for our sometimes serious, sometimes heartfelt, sometimes innovative educators in BL that are very much needed.

Ah, The educators, the teachers, the serious topics, the displays, the emotional moments. Some of these shows decided to surprise me when I came in expecting something odd and not realistic; only for them to break my heart but also humble me and teach me and others some of the crucial conversations we need to have about LGBTQ+ representation in BL. We have couples discussing about their sexuality accepting they are gay or bi(Yes not just in love with only one person but they actually embrace their sexuality), we have essential coming out scenes and looks into the mindsets of people who struggle with coming out and being in the closet, we have supportive families that have to learn and show our characters warmth because of their own experiences, and we have metaphorical outlooks of what it feels to have to please society with the result of losing ourselves. These are the great BLs, they break our hearts, but they make it hopeful to see people who go through their issues and come out in love, strong and protected and supported. Their journey is worth it, so if you want to find some shows that give you these feelings, then join me and let's look at these great representations in the BL genre. 

BL has a bad rep. How could it not when the reason BLs were created was for straight girls who fangirled about two boys kissing. Not that I even hate fujoshi's, you're allowed to be whatever you want, like whatever you want as long as you don't cross the line and make people uncomfortable with outrageous demands or actions (like the fujoshi's in some BL shows). But BLS has become something more, though some people refuse to take them still seriously and doubt their authenticity, some people refuse to accept some shows as BL, they instead just call it a queer film or tv. But why? BL has become a place for people to run away into a fantasy of stories where there's drama, romance, comedy, mystery, passion and more. BL can be anything, and in 2020 BL showed it could be anything, it could be serious and well produced and not filled with its past problematic enquiries, it could be funny and still tug at the heartstrings, it could be deep and painful and full of lessons but still have a happy, hopeful ending, it could be any genre it wanted, from supernatural, action, thriller and more. BLs improved and also became a source for the representation of LGBTQ+. And I think that's beautiful. It might have a taken a while for people to learn, for own voices to find a way to write new shows, for risks to be made. But 2020 saw the influx of BLS that weren't just fan service but actually art or just good stories with a great message. Here are some of them. 

Thai 

Dark Blue Kiss

It's weird to say that Dark Blue Kiss is an excellent representation for the qualities needed in this list. But what can I say apart from the overbearing, jealous plotline and some irrational over reactiveness with some of our characters. Dark Blue Kiss and Kiss me again has always been a show that has been worth it. Dark Blue Kiss is one of the first Thai BLs, where we saw a supportive parent, and that's Pete's father. He's incredible; he's everything that's healthy, understanding and helpful. He makes jokes with Pete about his relationship but also supports and gives him advice. He's protective and sweet when it comes to Kao and Pete, and they are themselves when they're with him even daring to speak about things like intercourse etc. It's incredible; he was a breath of fresh air for parents we usually encountered in this genre. He had discussions with his son, and in doing so, we saw his son also have more conversations and discussions with his partner about what their sexuality was, why they should come out as a couple, why they were scared to do so, what was holding them back etc. Pete's dad isn't the only supportive parent with advice and warmth, we later also add Kao's mum to the list, she's always known about Pete and Kao and was waiting patiently for Kao to come on his own and tell her. It's incredible. Dark Blue Kiss brought out conversations that didn't seem meaningless, there was an actual exploration of the fears some people have with coming out, and it was brilliant and wonderful to see on screen. Honestly are we shocked? It's Backaof as the director; all his shows should be on this list, every single show of his explores these topics with care and heart. And it's incredible.

Why it's a gift

Deep conversations and moments where you see two people learn and wonder about their sexuality and how the world may react to it. Supportive parents that are understanding, helpful and sweet. A relationship that's incredible despite its flaw, shown wonderfully and thoughtfully. Even the hurtful moments like when Kao gets outed and also has to struggle with claims of being a predator is done well and leads to Kao finally accepting his fears and coming out to the people he loves. By the end of it, all Pete and Kao are back together, happy, finally healthy and mature. Dark blue kiss also explores these two ambitions, their dreams, their ideas for the future and more. And it also has a great friendship group worth stanning. Pete and Kao aren't the only couple in this show worth praising and noticing you also have Mork who goes through his own acceptance of his sexuality once he falls for Sun, they're also great and also have their own plot revolving around dreams, jobs and character and angst. A great side couple in BL.  It's amazing. 

Special mention:

My Dear loser: Another Backoaf directing, no words this is incredible, I think everyone knows how great this is despite the BL coupe being a side couple, that may have an ending that feels unfinished. You can watch both this and My sky for a full experience. This deals with everything so well and also has a great support system from friends. Chimon is such an amazing actor in this.

As always I leave a gift: 

LINK HERE FOR MY DEAR LOSER IN/SUN CUT

DARK BLUE KISS EDIT FOR PETE KAO THEIR STORY

I told Sunset about You

I mention this show on every list; it's like not even a surprise anymore to see it. There's a reason why this show is incredible why people prefer to see it as a queer film instead of BL. Why people think calling it a BL is an insult (which I think why? A BL should be allowed to be seen as a good form of representation). This show has it all. Honestly, a great production company behind it, acting that's phenomenal, and a story that will blow your minds each time you watch it and try to piece it together. What's even more respectful about ITSAY is that it's a coming of age done well, it showcases feelings of the youth and how feelings are seen as a storm that can't be stopped. 

Especially when you are struggling to understand your sexuality, we have two characters, Teh who learns as he grows that he has uncontrollable, addictive and crazy feelings for his best friend, they're drawn to each other, but Teh can't understand what he feels, he doesn't know what this means. He struggles to comprehend it as well with his struggles with ego, pride and selfishness because of his young age. Then we have his best friend Oh Aew he knows what he is, he also is torn apart by feelings when Teh reenters into his life, he also struggles through losing his self, individuality and his confidence because of his feelings for Teh. It's brutal, but one thing stands for sure, these two are meant to be together, these two love each other. Why is this so great? Because the directing and production of this show is serious, every single scene counts, every single action has a meaning, but also this show has incredible moments that show you the struggles of internalized homophobia. 

It's something that's always mentioned in BLS as a struggle. Still, this show used scenes to show it, like for example, OH wearing his mother bra because he wished he was born a girl to be with Teh. Still, then he breaks down in self-loathing only to later stand up and embrace who he is, and Teh who finally comes out to his brother in a heart-wrenching scene; another supportive and healthy relationship who understands him and tells him it's okay to be who he is, to be with Oh, to be brave and take a leap to what he wants. His brother's conversation is everything someone who struggles with the same issues wants to hear; it's a healing effect, a hopeful and painful realization that some people don't have someone like Oh and Teh's family who help them and let them accept who they are. 

It's a journey of discovering the truth about how so many people have to go through this fear because of what society put in our heads, it's a wake-up call, but the fact that ITSAY has a happy ending despite all the realistic representation and angst is a hopeful meaning for everyone who saw themselves in Oh and Teh. It's incredible. 

Why it's a gift:

It's unbelievable; it's not told to you but shown to you the amount of struggle some people can have when they're coming of age and realizing their sexuality. It's a beautiful representation of what it's like to fall in love: the angst, pain, healing but also sabotage, and the growth. It's produced with so much effort and hard-work and research on what would be an excellent story for LGTBQ to see. One of the best made BLs; this is not us being dramatic. 

.A Gift for You

GREAT OST PLAYLIST OF ITSAY

An Edit For Teh/OH 

He's coming to me

Another Backoaf, directing masterpiece. This show is incredible. Like words can't explain how good this show is. Words can't describe what a gift this show still is. How much a BL like this was needed. First, this show is already unique; it deals with supernatural world-building, with ghosts and mysteries of death/murder, it deals with also coming of age, and falling in love and accepting your sexuality. It has two confirmed gay characters who we see explore and finally reveal who they are, they've both known and as they fall in love, they have to go through the angst of what it means that they love each other. 

It's incredible, not just because of the fact that Thun's ability to see ghosts and his need to hide that also mirrors his need to hide his sexuality, the way he breaks down later after realizing that people won't let him just be him or the way people made him feel bad for being who he is. The way that Mes also went through the same thing before he died, and the person who connected them was Thun's mom. She's incredible, and I still believe the coming-out scene of Thun to his mum is one of the best as incredible as his confession on the rooftop to Mes as he breaks down in the rain because he's afraid he's been left. 

The amount of repressed feelings these two hides is insane, and when they later confront it,  it's like OMG really they knew about their feelings all along? It's incredible, with a show that already has an incredibly well thought out plot about ghosts and supernatural, but it also has two characters that are fleshed out, who both have discussions with everyone around them about what they are and the way they have a happy ending after all the angst and tears. It's worth it thousand times over and over again. This show is just great. And no one else can do it like Backaof he just has the most excellent formulas: supportive family members, supportive friend unit, serious conversations about sexuality and feelings, important relationships and no censorship, unique plotlines and risks. He's incredible. No words.

Why this is a gift?

The actors are also one of Thailand BLs veterans. Both of them are incredible and nuanced in their scenes; they make you cry, scream, sigh, and swoon. They make you learn, and it's fantastic, they're amazing people. They're worth it both Ohm Pawat and Singto, their performances are incredible. Every character in this show is fleshed out and necessary, the plot makes sense and isn't written haphazardly, and the directing is phenomenal. Watch it. 

A gift for You

He’s coming to me the whole show

PINOY

Gaya Sa Pelikula 

This time we have the Philippines if Thai isn't your cup of tea I guess. This show is just, so great? It was made with the intention for representation, a love story to the LGBTQ community, actors devoted to researching and learning about the topics presented in the show. This show is outstanding, no words, it's not preachy, but it's still educative. Not one episode goes back when you don't see the effort and brilliance of this show; each message of each episode is so important and needed. The story isn't afraid to explore topics which haven't been shown correctly in this genre, and it's so good they did. 

We have two characters, one a gay out guy (Vlad) who is very bitter about everyone and how they treated him, he's dying to be loved for who he is, and he's desperate to find a safe space where he can be himself loud and proud, he falls in love with another (Karl) who is more in the closet, with secrets that you discover later about his circumstance he's not sure of who he is and as the show progresses he and us get educated about everything. He learns to accept that he is gay. 

This show is about self-acceptance, love and healing. By falling in love; our characters are forced to question everything about who they are, what they've gone through and how that shaped them, and we realize that both perspectives is right in their own way. The show is for people who feel like the guy who's out, who wants to be proud and tell the world he's in love but also it's for people like his partner who feel guilty for struggling and having anxiety about accepting who they are, but this show doesn't force him out, it doesn't force them to be together, it just becomes a realistic story full of hope about the future of these two. It's a healing show; it makes you question your self, it makes you go through your own journey of how you feel you're perceived in the world, it takes you on a trip of your own self-learning, exploration and discovery. And it ends making you feel grateful for the experience of it all.

Why it's a gift:

 I think the best thing about this show is the other extra gifts it brings. It's music playlist, it's like your own gift bundle of new artists to explore and listen to every song is beautiful and needed, with different messages and feelings, you will find one music you love in this playlist, and you'll end up spending hours weeping about them. But it's beautiful, it's euphoric, and the show is worth it. The show has amazing actors and a great team of people behind the scenes. The writer is brilliant, poetic and serious; he knows how to make a plot. He knows how to teach you without you feeling patronized, he knows how to humble you if you didn't know anything before. He's just great. 

A gift for You

GSP OST PLAYLIST- THE BEST

Gameboys 

I haven't mentioned this show on here before, which is sad because it really should be praised. It's an outstanding show that showed up during a time where the world was on pause. Gameboys provided a gift for everyone who looked for something during the lockdown in the pandemic. The fact it revolves around events in the pandemic, it uses it as a great plot device and has important moments that touch your heart and make you reflect on the situation without being too heavy. 

Gameboys is incredible; it also has a unique storyline, a Gameboy and his fanboy who falls in love with him and is confident he can win over his heart. Except, our Gameboy Cairo has to go through some self-exploration first, some self-healing and acceptance, some coming to terms with guilt and self-hatred he feels for things that happened to his past. This show makes you cry, so bring the tissues, I mean every show on this list probably does, but this show has so many moments, we have supportive parents, but even in a more heartbreaking way, we have warnings of what happens when people selfishly out people, the consequences of that, how much anxiety and fear you can have as you deal with internalized homophobia and being in the closet, how it affects family members, and what it means to finally accept who you are and stand up for who you are. It's brilliant, painful, but it also makes you grin from so many heartfelt moments we needed during a dark time. The actors are also amazing, and they make you feel everything they feel so naturally, they're also three dimensional and have exciting character arcs. There's a great support system as well in this show, with the best friend, who makes you smile whenever you see her. This show is worth it. 

Why is it a gift? 

I feel like without knowing it Gameboys was an actual gift for everyone who was struggling during the pandemic, it showed the reality of what was going on, but it also showed healing and hope and happiness derived from being in quarantine and lockdown. It showed that even in lockdown nothing had to stop, we could still fall in love, grow and learn about our selves if we wanted to. It also had a great love story to follow that was both funny, romantic and heartfelt. The directing was genius also, and it touched many people. It was outstanding. 

A gift for You

ALT GAMEBOYS: A SIDE STORY FOR ONE OF THE CHARACTERS

JAPANESE

Cherry Magic 

Finally, we come to this gem of a show. What else can we say about Cherry Magic? Oh I know, no one expected this Japanese BL to be so full of heart, joy, magic but also depth. This show is just ridiculously good, it's not as painful as the other shows, it's slower and more softer than the other angst in the other shows, but this show still tugs at your heartstrings and makes you laugh and cry. It deals with everything that has already been mentioned: self-acceptance, questioning of sexuality, trying to please society that you lose your self, being brave and finding your self, loving your self, etc. 

It's just so great, it's also unique a story about magic and reading minds that our main character has. As he realizes his person (Kurosawa) loves him, we watch Adachi struggle through self-hate, self-deprecation and anxiety to finally come out of his shell and become who he wants to be. This show has an incredible love interest who's just wonderful, he's the ideal man, but that doesn't mean he's one dimensional or stale. 

He's also deep, and has his own flaws and hurts, and the way he loves Adachi is just breathtaking and frankly makes you so jealous. Why is this show for representation? Because it's a slice of life of an office romance, it deals with what people go through in life, the gruels and requirements from work whilst also watching both our characters choose to be brave and come out to each other and pick each other despite their fears about what their environment thinks. 

These two are each other's healing, comfort, support system and they both have incredible personalities. This show is also quite deep, you wouldn't think so, but when you listen to the dialogues and watch some of the scenes, you'll see how deep this show can be for its characters whilst still being fluffy. It perfectly represents the fear of coming out and coming to terms of having feelings for someone you weren't expecting. Its message is more hidden, but it's still great for conversations about representation, in my opinion. 

Why it's a gift?

It was made as one; the last episode is coming on Christmas haha. This show takes some tropes of BL and chooses a healthier option, it also just fleshes out its characters incredibly, you watch how Adachi and Kurosawa changed each other's life without knowing and how their love keeps being needed by each other in many ways. It also is called Cherry Magic, because this show is magical, it makes you grin, be happy and excited from seeing one episode, it tugs at your heartstrings whilst making you blush and squeal from happiness. Its softness is something to look forward to after a hard day of whatever real life looks like to you, it has a healing effect, a warm effect and it makes you smile and forget your troubles in those few minutes. It's wonderful. 

A gift for You

Adachi and Kurosawa EDIT

I hope you enjoy these shows they’re all incredible, they’ll surely make you smile and be happy. They’re all important in their own way, if you haven’t seen any have a go and see which you love. Let me know if I’ve missed some, to be honest I chose the ones that had scenes with important discussions that make you think or scenes that bring out emotions and feelings but also make you learn and realise something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations or if you’ve watched them before hope you enjoy the reviews and commentary. Merry Christmas guys :)

Other recommendations

GIFTS OF BL FOR FANS WHO LOVE ANGST, DRAMA AND PASSION

[appleteeth]

Bruce Week Fic #6

Sunday (July 25): Grief, Magic

(Warnings for mentions of domestic and child abuse.)

It was funny, being friends with someone who knew magic. Loki had somehow, after everything they had been through, become one of Bruce’s closest confidant on board the spaceship taking them to Earth. First they would merely nod at one-another in quiet respect, then Loki stopped Bruce in the corridor one day to explain how something seemingly innocuous he had done was actually offensive in Asgardian culture and Bruce, though wary he was tricking him, thanked him. 

Then Bruce would make a habit of finding Loki in the makeshift dining hall and sitting with him, not exactly striking up conversation but letting him know they could talk, if he wanted to. 

A few months into the journey and Loki was spotted laughing loudly at something Bruce had said, and whilst it made Thor a little nervous to see them getting along so well, it was also a relief. They were both part of his Royal Council, after all, so they needed to get along for the sake of his people. 

Then, when Bruce moaned to himself about being unable to find what he needed in the cramped medical bay, Loki produced the vial out of thin air and handed it to him. 

“That still freaks me out,” Bruce told him before taking the vial tentatively. 

“I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t,” he said with a smirk.

“How does it work? Are you pulling items from somewhere else? Are you taught how to use magic or is it instinctual? Could I learn magic or is it an Asgardian thing?”

“No, I was taught by my mother and yes… to an extent. You wouldn’t be able to conjure items or control objects but you can learn basic spells.”

Bruce was excited for barely a second before he frowned. “Are you messing with me again?”

“Bruce, I have come to find you… relatively welcome company. I enjoy our conversations, even if you are a Midgardian.”

“Bit prejudiced, but thank you.”

“So I’m not messing with you,” Loki concluded. “I can give you some basic spells to try that will give you more insight into your being.”

“I, uh, think I’ve had enough insight lately," he said warily. 

And Loki smiled, this time without a mischievous glint in his eye. 

"What if I were to teach you a spell that helped you in ways you never knew you needed?"

Bruce snuck into the medical bay late into the evening whilst the rest of the ship went to sleep. It was the one place he knew he wouldn't be disturbed, especially as Asgardians were so resilient to injury, they barely came to him with less than a severed limb. 

He read through the instructions Loki had written in elaborate cursive, mostly in English but certain words wouldn't translate so he had to work through how to pronounce them before starting. It was oddly pleasant following the instructions step by step, like he was trying out a new recipe, only this was more writing specific phrases in runes than measuring out ingredients. 

He had to write the words as naturally as possible, like he had been writing in the language his entire life, recite them outloud and then… go to sleep. Which was easier said than done when he was expecting something miraculous to happen. He crept back into his shared dorm with seven other passengers and lay down, hoping that whatever was supposed to happen would actually help him.

He finally drifted off and there he found himself travelling, not sure what he was facing was a dream or effects of the spell, but welcoming it nonetheless. 

He was standing in an old-fashioned kitchen, meticulously clean down to the top of the cabinets where nobody would ever bother to look. Whoever's domain this was, it was so well looked after it could very well be a showroom. 

There were a few signs of life, however. There was a small stack of plates ready to be cleaned, a few novelty magnets on the refrigerator, a Captain America action figure on the table…

Bruce stopped, looking at the toy and realising where he was. He had spent so long trying to forget his childhood home he didn't even recognise the kitchen anymore. But he knew that toy like it was imprinted on his mind, having spent many hours clutching it, talking to it, wishing the real Cap was there to save him.

"I'm so sorry I kept you waiting, would you like some water?" 

And he spun on his heel to see her. It was so odd to view her now that he was a little taller than her, instead of being small enough to wrap his arms around her legs. She was still as beautiful as the pictures but she wasn't memorialised in his mind like some sort of perfect being. Her sweater was threadbare at the elbows, her hair was a little frizzy (thick curls like his, almost identical in colour) and she had dark circles under her eyes. She also wore glasses, which Bruce had completely forgotten because she took them off for photos. 

"Uh…" he didn't know what to say to her. 

"You must be parched, here," and Rebecca poured him a glass of water from a pitcher she kept in the fridge. "Piping in new houses is never deep enough to keep water cool, not like the old days." 

He was still trying to find words when he realised a vision shouldn't be able to hand him things, and he shouldn't be able to feel the cool water tumbling down his throat. 

"So, you wanted to talk about Robbie?" 

He nearly choked on the last mouthful and hid it with a loud cough. 

"Um, yes," he said, not sure who he was supposed to be in this scenario but going along with it all the same. 

His mother nodded and indicated for him to sit down with her at the kitchen table. Again, it felt so strange to be big enough for a chair he used to sit at every day as a kid, his legs swinging and needing a cushion so he could reach the table properly. 

"His teacher said he's been excelling," she said proudly but then immediately frowned. "You didn't speak to my husband, did you?" 

"No, of course not," and he now knew his role like he had read the script. "Yes, young Br… Robbie has been working really hard and it's clear to see he is clever." 

She smiled, but it was juxtaposed by her sad eyes. "You're going to say he should be in a gifted school, aren't you?" 

"Uh…" 

"Well I'm sorry but he can't. He just… can't." And she sighed tiredly before collecting herself. "I'm sorry, it's just--" 

"I know," Bruce said quietly. "You don't have to explain your reasons. I know you would want the best education for him, but sometimes that can't happen." 

And he couldn't help himself, she was right there in front of him. He put his hand over hers and squeezed it in comfort. 

"Thank you," she said quietly. 

"And it's not like kids won't excel as adults just because they missed out on extra tutoring," he continued. "They'll catch up in no time and go on to do great things." 

She smiled warmly and Bruce recognised his own features in hers. He never thought he looked like her, always hating how he was the spitting image of his father, but he saw himself in her smile. 

"I hope so. Do you know he can name every bird he sees? Even the scientific names. He read about bird watching and within a day he was telling me facts about each one." 

Bruce couldn't help but grin, having forgotten about that particular hyperfixation. "Is that so?" 

"If he could… that is, if we agreed he could go to a gifted school, I suspect he would get a scholarship for college, maybe even go early." 

She looked furious, if just for a moment, letting her guard down enough to show how she really felt. Bruce had never seen her angry; she had hid it well when he was small and already so scared of someone else's anger. She had shown him nothing but smiles and positivity, desperate to make his life as normal as possible. 

But he remembered hearing her crying behind the bedroom door, trying to suppress her sobs so she could go read her child a bedtime story like nothing was wrong. The illusion was shattered that day.

"You are doing everything you possibly can for your son. More than everything. You--"

He stopped himself. Was this really a dream or had he really travelled back? What would it mean if he told her?

"I will lay down my life for him," she finished, eyes defiant and full of fury. 

He felt his facade fading, no longer able to pretend he wasn't who he really was. 

"You're going to save my life. Over and over. Until that bastard kills you for it." 

He cried, clutching her hand and unable to look at her. She shouldn't have sacrificed herself for him. She wasn't supposed to be known as just a wife and mother. She was exceptionally bright in her own right, never one to boast but able to keep up with her husband and nudge her son towards harder sums and thicker books. It wasn't her fault the man who told her he loved her had used that love to control her, to make her feel weak and stupid.

Had she escaped that night, she would have done great things. 

"I know," she said quietly, tears in her own eyes. "I figured I had a shot that night. He usually stays late at the bar and left the car at home, so I thought I had three hours. But I didn't know he had a meeting the next morning and drank a whole bottle of whiskey walking home instead. I miscalculated." 

"It's my fault. You told me to pack but I couldn't find my stupid Captain America toy and…" he wiped his eyes angrily. "I held us up." 

Rebecca reached across the table to wipe the trails of tears from his cheeks.

"You were a child," she said. "It can never be your fault. Hey," and she cradled his face in her hands. "It was never your fault." 

"It wasn't yours either. None of it," he said defiantly. 

She nodded. "Thank you." 

The vision was starting to waver, like an old projection flickering as the film ran out. He clutched her hand desperately, wanting to tell her so much more, to tell her he hadn't wasted the gift she gave him that night. That he had excelled despite everything that happened. That he did everything to make her proud. 

He felt her hand slowly fading, getting lighter in his hand as it faded away. He managed to tell her he loved her before he awoke back on the ship, his face wet with tears. 

The next morning, much to everyone's confusion, Bruce marched straight up to Loki, grabbed him by the shoulder, and hugged him tightly. 

[shadowturtlesstuff]

you belong with me- thomas

this is thomas’s pov. i like doing both pov (i dont know if you can tell) but there are a few things im working on but enjoy!

“How could-? Are you even hearing yourself speak you fool? No- no. God, you know what I'm done.” I throw my phone on the bed, scaring Sir Issac in the process. I cringe even as I begin pacing back and forth. It was truly absurd, utterly crazy, that William lived in such a world where he would ever consider me being with anyone but Audrey Rose. Whilst we weren’t together per say, it was clear there would be no one else for me. The fact that he had already caused trouble for us once makes this even more irritating. I turn and find Audrey Rose already watching me. Her hair disheveled in a messy bun which tells me she is studying or researching something. I give her what I hope classifies as a smile and watches as she pulls out a familiar notebook, searches for her pen and then writes: Are you okay?

Of course she would ask if I'm okay and not what happened; using our absurd way of talking to each other instead of using the window or even messaging me. I shake my head but smile and make my way towards my window. The wind hits me, sending my hair flying but I embrace the fresh air as I watch her move herself off her bed, cursing at her stiff legs. She has been there most of the day, not moving and lost in her work and music. She curses once more as she hits her elbow on the window sill and she looks truly adorable. “You have a wicked mouth Wadsworth. Did you not learn cursing is unlady-like?” I try to ignore the other thoughts I have of her mouth.

“Fuck you,” she scowls at me. It always makes me smile hearing her curse, she always sounds confident in them somehow, making them seem so real. The first time she swore was the time she failed a science test. Well, not exactly a fail, but she was marked wrong by a substitute teacher who didn't like her so she decided to berate him in front of the whole class, starting with her shouting ‘bullshit!’ as soon as she saw her results.

“I assume dear wadsworth, you want to ask what has made me so irate?” As much as I would rather climb across the gap and make her watch another one of my romance films again instead of talk about it, I know that I should. Otherwise it'll eat at my mind when I go to sleep. As well as it being used against wadsworth in some way too.

“Perhaps,” she says, eyes sparkling with mischief as she rests her head on the wall and brings her knees to her chest, “perhaps I merely wanted to ask if Sir Issac was okay.” I nearly burst out laughing at her. She has a love hate relationship with my cat. She pretends to hate the ‘beast’ but will often let him sit on her lap or pet him whenever she is over here. When I first got him, she stayed round mine for the night and we settled him. Even then she had tried to pretend not to like him but she doesn’t remember that she fell asleep with him curled up next to her. I had to sleep on my chair because they were sprawled out, surrounded by her work.

“Really? You always refer to him as a little pest, whereas as with me, I am your dearest person, of course you want to know how I am feeling. My son is good though, very energetic today.” Said cat brushes against me and I look at him, the memory still clear in my mind. Yet I know I need to stop avoiding the problem, Audrey Rose is too kind to push me into telling her, and will let me avoid it for as long as I need. It is not the worst thing we’ve faced yet I still hate it.  

“I assume you saw the call, well that was William,” she nods, her face already falling at the mention of his name, “Yes, awful. Apparently though, there is a rumor that I'm with Miss whitehall. I don't even remember her first name, but he was convinced of our relation despite my protests. Madness.” I scoff at the sheer audacity of him and his friends. Sir Issac nuzzles into me, knowing that I'm upset and wanting to change that. As well get attention.

“Is this the same William that had convinced everyone I was dating him?”

“Yes.” Anger rolls through me at the memory of that disaster. What hurt Audrey Rose the most is that she truly thought he was a friend. She’d explained that with me she didn't try, but everyone else she had too, so when they'd fallen into easy conversations during lessons she really enjoyed having someone other than me and lize and her uncle to talk to.

“Bitch. Why on earth is he such a problem? Where on earth does he even make this assumptions about us?'' She begins pacing, her mind working faster than her steps as she no doubt recalls everything that happened. I am inclined to do the same. I can still remember her walking into her room, looking at me and falling apart. I climbed into her room and held her letting her calm before she spoke to me. I cried as well, slightly, knowing how much that friendship had meant to her. I'd made us watch a really cheesy film and she'd fallen asleep in my arms.

“I have never once,”I say to drag her back to the present “shown interest in her, nor will I ever.” I drag a hand through my hair. “She's just- a lot.” the first time id met her she was just very loud and demanding, I couldn't stand her. I'd watched her insult so many people for being themselves, for liking childish things, or in Audrey Rose's case, morbid things.

“That is the understatement of the year Cresswell. Besides, you wouldn’t work, she's too- your,” she falls silent, either lost in thought or not wanting to tell me those thoughts. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I smile. She doesn't meet my eye as she sits herself down and I raise my brows as she asks what? As though she didn’t just show me that she has many inappropriate thoughts about me. She curls herself into a ball, hiding in her oversized hoodie, which is mine that I'm not sure she realizes is.

“I’m what? I'd be delighted to know your innermost thoughts of me, Wadsworth.”

“You're absurd but fine I'll elaborate,” she rolls her eyes though, even as the pink deepens slightly. Her eyes focused on my own. So I face her fully, like an astute student in class dying to seek knowledge, “you're too kind, too witty and clever and Whitehall wouldn’t appreciate you enough. You-” she stops talking immediately, as though whatever is in her mind she cant voice. Her face twists into something unreadable and I get the sense that she would rather not ever speak about me being with someone other than her.

“You forgot to mention how handsome I look, or how charming I am, but I'll take it,” she suppresses an eye roll and her smile and ignores the way my voice deepens ever so slightly. I pat Sir Issac off me and earn a whine but he jumps off me. I reach out to her and she leans, her hair ripping free of her bun with little effort from the wind. Her dark curls cling to her face, framing her perfectly too. It makes me want to hold her face in her hands and kiss her deeply.

“I don’t need to inflate your ego further Thomas.”

She inflates my ego every time she smiles at me, whether that be because of my joke or simply smiling at me because I am her friend. “I know but it would've been nice. I did say the inner most thoughts but we’ll get there. Audrey rose-I don’t belong with her, you’re right, my heart would never belong to her especially since it already belongs to someone else.”

She blinks at me, her face falling flat. Silence falls over us and I realize she thinks I'm talking about someone else. And idea forms, one that she may hate me for but one I'm going to do anyway.

“I-” she begins, no doubt going to tell me she wants me to be happy without whomever I'm with. I stand before she can say anything and she stares at me for a second so I motion for her to move. I want to be able to hold her and be next to her. I climb over and set myself on her window sill, leaving enough space for her on the other side. “I hope you are happy with whomever has your heart Cresswell.” I try to hide my smirk at her. Preparing myself for the worst. Preparing myself for her calling me an idiot and that she doesn't like me that way. I wouldn’t blame her.

“Of course I'll be happy. She's amazing. Let me tell you all about her. I met her many years back and was instantly smitten with her emerald eyes and her quick witted mind. How she sings to herself every morning and how her dark curls fall across her face whenever she sits on her bed and reads. I adore her curiosity for the dead and how wicked her mouth is and how delightful it is to watch your mind at work. I love when she shows me a note through the window to see if I'm doing okay and-”

“Wait,” she blurts out, her cheeks red now and eyes bright with shock, “Thomas, are you talking about me?”

I can’t help but laugh. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met yet she, just like I do, struggles with social cues sometimes. Albeit it she is better than I will ever be. “Yes, finally! I thought I'd have to keep speaking forever till you realized it was you.” Not that that would be a problem. As of right now I'd happily list the way her eyes are filled with both relief and shock and happiness and it's a look I want to capture whenever I need a reminder of something good in life.

She scowls at me, ignoring her blush. I take a risk and reach out my hand, moving closer so that her back is straightened on the wall, her attention fixed on me completely. No fake scowl or bright smile, just an intent gaze I can't quite pick apart. I rest my hand on her leg, now free of her (my) hoodie. “Wadsworth, darling, I have been in love with you for some time now.”

I stare at my best friend, my love, as she tries to convince herself this is real. It's truly adorable. Then her eyes widen slightly as she whispers: “I have something to show you.”

She jumps from my grip, running the short distance to her bed and then shuffling through the mountain of books and papers sprawled there until she pulls out a notebook and shakes it, letting a piece of paper drop. It's folded and creased a lot, as though it has been opened often. I watch as she faces me and slowly, her face fixed on the sheet as she opens and holds it out to me.

I read the words: I love you.

I love you.

I read them over and over and over, trying to imprint it on my brain. Her delicate handwriting and her confession reaches out to me and I desperately want to reach out to her, hold her against me and press kisses and make her laugh.

Audrey rose takes her seat across from me and I instantly reach out, holding her leg again. Anything to reassure me this is real. “I wrote that the night after you came here the second time.” her voice is soft, her curls once again framing her face as she looks at me, “Something in me clicked that no matter what you'd find a way to comfort me. Not save me, but work alongside me. I wanted to tell you I just couldn't face it. But I needed to acknowledge it. So I wrote it down, and I look at it every time we use the note system; I try to convince myself to show you.” Audrey Rose would never need saving, never want it, yet her words save my own dark heart that she has felt this way for so long, and we have somehow lived alongside each other and been so blinded by our love entwined with fears that it has taken so long to finally acknowledge them.

I debate pinching myself. Only minutes ago was I miserable and upset, yet Audrey Rose has taken her time to cheer me up. Yet even if I had left it as I am fine, even though she knows me better than that, she wouldn't have pressed for answers; would have waited for me to open up. So i lean in and the world stops as we both wait until our lips are pressed together It's a light kiss, one full of promise and wonder. When I lean back we are both smiling so freely my heart feels as though it too is reaching out to hold Audrey rose. We trade kisses, never wanting to leave this loop but I do lean back away from her. I’m already too drunk on her kisses, I need to breathe, to process this so I can remember it. Once my back is against the wall I pull her, twisting so her back is against mine, leaning into my warmth and I rest my head atop hers. Trying to contain my smiles but to no avail. My hand covers hers and as i look down at her i notice she doesn't bother controlling her smile. It is a magnificent sight.  

“Now would be a perfect time to tell me how handsome I am, my love.”

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[seungmoroll]

Electric Love - Lee Felix

Word count: 1.5k

Genre: fluff

A/N: This is the sixth installment in the Electric Love Series. You can check out the others here.

There were a few cons that came with being neighbors with your best friend. Sometimes him and his friends were too loud and sometimes they would even barge into your house to steal your food. You swore you were going to murder Felix that one time they barged in and you were doing a face mask that made you look like an alien. Felix’s friends were hot, and a bunch of hot guys do not need to be seeing you like that.

However, there were definitely more pros of having your best friend live next door to you. Number one being that he had hot friends. You can’t help but stare at them from your bedroom window whenever they’re swimming in Felix’s pool. Another beneficial thing is that you literally can hang out whenever you want to. You guys basically have movie nights every other night. His sisters are basically your sisters, they even tell you sometimes that they prefer you over him.

While you mindlessly scroll through your twitter feed, you get a text from Felix that says, “You up for a swim?” You respond with, “Be there in 10.” Peeking out your bedroom window, you check to see if any of Felix’s other friends were there. You were especially keeping an eye out for Seungmin and Jisung. Seungmin because you thought he was kind of cute and Jisung because you were looking to get payback for that prank he played on you the last time you saw him. However, as you looked, you saw no silhouettes or figures. So, you figured that either it would only be you and Felix hanging out today or they were all inside his house.

After you finished getting ready, you made your way to Felix’s house and when you rung his doorbell, his mother had answered the door.

“Oh, hello dear. Felix is out in the backyard. You can go right on ahead. Oh, and let me know if you want me to make you guys something.”

“Alright, thanks Mrs. Lee.”

Making your way into the house and to the backyard, you spot Felix through the glass door. His back is faced towards you, so as quietly as you can, you slide the door and sneak up behind him.

“Boo.”

Frightened, Felix jumps and clutches his chest, “Y/N, don’t scare me like that, I could’ve dropped my croissant.”

You were about to tell him to stop making vine references, when you realized that he was actually holding a croissant. Shrugging, you rip off a piece of his croissant and pop it into your mouth.

“Great, first you scare me and then you take my food, what next? Are you going to take my friends too?”

“Felix, no offence, but I don’t want your friends. Speaking of your friends, they coming over?”

“No, why? So you can make googly eyes at Seungmin?”

Offended, you say, “I do not make googly eyes at him.” Felix gives you a look, “He’s cute, I can’t help it. I can’t help that all your friends are cute.”

“If all my friends are cute, does that make me cute?” Felix asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

Gently patting him on the cheek, “The cutest.”

You make your way to the pool, and slowly get into it. The water cools down your burning skin as it envelops you and you relax into it. Floating in the water, eyes closed, you find peace, but that peace is interrupted once you hear a loud “CANNONBALL!” Water all around you splashes everywhere, and you are forced to open your eyes.

Similar to the way Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks screams Alvin’s name you yell, “Felix!”

He gives you a cheeky grin, “Oops.” He goes underwater and begins swimming away from you. You swim after him and reach out for his ankles when you get close enough. You pull at his leg, and when you hear his scream underwater, you come up and begin laughing. Felix joins you in your laughing fit once he comes up for air.

“C’mon Felix, two for two.”

“You’re such a meanie, Y/N.” He splashes water towards you. Suddenly he says, “Wait, I just thought of something.” He gets out of the pool and heads towards the table where all your stuff was. You see that he grabs his phone and a water bottle. Approaching the pool, smiling he says, “Let’s film Tiktoks.”

Felix was always on Tiktok, he even knew all the dances, you, however, knew nothing about it. You didn’t even have the app downloaded. The only Tiktoks you saw were the ones Felix showed you or the ones you saw reposted on another platform. Him and his friends were always filming Tiktoks, but he’s never asked you to film one with him, that is until today.

With a serious look on your face, you tell him, “I’m not doing the renegade, Felix.”

“Y/N,” he whines.

“Anything, but the renegade.”

“Fine.” He sets the water bottle by the edge of the pool and slips back into the pool, phone in hand. “You remember that song ‘Shake It’ by Metro Station? There’s an easy dance for it that we can do.”

The phrase ‘easy dance’ differs between you and Felix. Felix happens to be an amazing dancer that can easily learn dances, you on the other hand, were not that good of a dancer. You would have to watch the dance a hundred times for you to remember it. Luckily for you, Felix is a good teacher.

It takes you approximately 20 minutes to learn the dance and 15 more minutes for the two of you to record it. When the two of you watch the final video, you laugh at how stiff you look compared to Felix. He tells you that your stiff dancing is cute, and you thank him by splashing him with water.

“Let’s film one more Tiktok.”

“Fine. This better be the last one.”

“It’ll be the best one yet.”

“What’re we doing for this one?”

“All you have to do is be your pretty self.” You’ll never get used to Felix’s random compliments. He even does it in front of the guys and as the peanut gallery, they always go “ooh” and “awe,” at this point you’ve learned to ignore them.

Listening to Felix’s words, you lift your feet off from the bottom of the pool, and let yourself float, watching as Felix presses the record button. A song that you don’t recognize plays from the speaker, and Felix lightly paddles towards you. You look between him and the camera, curious as to what was supposed to happen.

Felix comes up to you and gently wraps an arm around your waist and begins to spin you around in the water. He does this all the time to you, so instead of screaming, you laugh to show that you’re having fun. Felix is laughing along with you and just when you’re about to ask him what you guys were supposed to be doing, when he suddenly holds you by your face. Before you could say anything else, he presses his lips against yours. You automatically wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back.

You’ve always known that you had feelings for Felix, but you were afraid to do or say anything to him in fear that you would ruin your friendship. You would rather have him in your life as your friend than not have him in your life at all. Now that you’re in this position, however, you were ready to risk it all, obviously Felix was.

By now, the video and audio have stopped, but you’re still in each other’s arms, lips still moving against one another. Eventually you run out of air and pull apart from him, giggling. You examine his face and watch as a water droplet from his hair drops down to his eyelashes. You think to yourself, “Gosh, he’s so gorgeous.’ Another thought comes to your mind, and you can’t help, but let it escape your mouth.

“Is this how most Tiktoks end? If so, I think we should film more Tiktoks together.” The pair of you laugh at your remark.

“No, but if you want it to, ours can.”

“I think I’d like that.”

“Do you guys need anything-oh, uh, never mind, I see that you two are a bit busy.” Felix’s mother quickly leaves the two of you before you guys can even separate from each other.

“Well, dinner is definitely going to be awkward tonight.”

“I just know that my house is about to get a call from your mom.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think this video is going to blow up.” You give him a blank look before you put your hands on his shoulders and push him into the water.

You hate to admit it, but Felix was right. He posted the Tiktok and it got a lot of views. It got so many views that you even downloaded the app to read the comments. The boys wouldn’t shut up about it for days, but it doesn’t matter to you, because of Tiktok you now have a boyfriend and you have a new favorite song.

A/N: Wouldn’t filming tiktoks with Felix be so fun? Feel free to let me know what you guys thought of this, and if you were in the areas affected by hurricane Laura, I hope that you are safe! ❤️

[arikeia]

The Hyunjin bullying issue

I never make posts about real people on here, especially idols, because even though I consider myself a big kpop fan, I am mainly a fan of the music. If I love an idol, I will appreciate them from a distance, if I dislike them, I will simply not follow them or listen to their music. There have been times where I greatly disliked idols, yet I never made any comments or posts about them because I simply think there are better things I can do with my time.

This, however, is a different situation. I’m making this post not for/because of Hyunjin, but because of his fans who keep defending him and antis who are sending him hate.

TL;DR: stop sending him hate and stop defending him. You don’t know him personally and you never will. You were not his classmate. It’s not up to you to decide his guilt since you were not the target of his actions. He apologized and his victims accepted his apology. Let it be and move on.

We need to get one thing straight: you do not know Hyunjin. Yes, you might have watched all of his vlives, vlogs, shows and MVs, but that doesn’t mean you actually know him. Everybody puts on a slightly altered personality (their “best” version of themselves) in front of cameras (if you were being filmed right now, you’d do it too, and that’s normal and fine!) so there is no way for us to know what he’s actually like, especially when he’s at his worst.

He was accused of bullying not once but twice. The recent allegations were actually dealt with by JYPE (for a change). According to their statement, they and Hyunjin met with former classmates, teachers and the alleged victims to listen to their stories. Most fans defending Hyunjin are citing this part of the statement: “Combining the information from various people, their memories of that time are completely different from each other, so there was some difficulty in clearly confirming any of the facts.” To Hyunjin’s fans, this reads as “they had different stories so clearly he never did it,” which just goes to show that they probably never had to deal with bullying themselves. 

Let me offer you my read on this, as someone who was bullied heavily (to the point of crying when coming home from school every day and thinking of suicide at 9-10 already) for 8 years and then slightly less heavily for 4 additional years in HS. Even if I ever gathered the courage to call my bullies out on their behavior and told them how hurtful their words are, they would either brush it off, tell me I should just “get over it” or flat out deny it. If I told a teacher, the bully would tell them “what I said wasn’t even that bad, she’s getting upset over nothing”. I have no doubt in my mind that sometimes when people say hurtful things, they don’t realize just how hurtful what they’re saying is (me included). So I’m not surprised in the least that the way Hyunjin remembers things is vastly different from the way his alleged victims remember it.

I’m also not surprised if his friends defended him. Again, it’s only natural that the people he was close to never experienced bullying by him first-hand. And perhaps they weren’t present when/if he bullied others. If they were present, it’s possible they joined in on the bullying themselves, so of course they would try to downplay it (if it really happened) to absolve themselves of their own guilt. 

And I’m not surprised if the teachers had no idea about this. I tried reporting my bullies maybe twice in those 12 years and nothing came of it or the bullying got worse as a punishment. Most teachers saw my bullies ostracizing me as simply me being quiet and shy. (Edit: and honestly, no bully is stupid enough to bully others in front of a teacher, so how could they possibly know about the bullying?)

Some hard Hyunjin stans say the alleged victims made the whole thing up for fame, but this doesn’t really track for me. What fame? Do we know the names of the victims? Did they gain popularity from this? Of course not. If anything, this was a risky move, since Hyunjin is a much beloved idol and making negative claims would (and did) result in a slew of hurtful comments targeted at the alleged victim by his fans. 

Some of his fans seem to think that bullying is only physical and that since he is apparently incapable of physical violence (I agree with this, I don’t think he ever physically hurt/physically bullied anybody) that he cannot be a bully. Some say that he treats his members so well, so clearly he couldn’t have been a verbal bully. Like I explained above, bullies don’t bully their own friends (usually). They prey on the weak, the different, the ostracized. And of course he’d treat his members well, they’re constantly on camera. 

I also think it’s entirely possible that he was a bully in his youth but has since changed and matured. It happens quite often, actually. I’m willing to bet most of my bullies are fairly normal adults now and I bet most of them never even remember bullying me. In fact, if we met for the first time at our current age, we might have even become friends. People can change.

What is important here is that some people were hurt by Hyunjin’s behavior. Whether he himself, his friends or his teachers think it wasn’t a big deal/wasn’t hurtful is irrelevant. They weren’t the ones who were targeted/hurt. Neither were you. So it’s not up to them and it’s not up to you to decide whether Hyunjin is guilty or needs to apologize, or even accept/not accept his apology. Only the people he hurt can do that. And they’ve accepted his apology.

What we should do now is let it be and move on. He did all he could do - he apologized. His victims accepted his apology. He will take some time to reflect and come back. 

I just hope people don’t send him hate, since that would make them no better than him. And I hope people stop blindly defending him simply because they like him and the realization that the person they idolize was potentially a bully feels too uncomfortable to deal with.

[shenglingyuan]

title: the second chance we didn't ask for (ao3) pairing: gojo satoru/geto suguru both satoru and suguru are free from the prisons that bound them, but returning to life is another matter entirely.

The Zen’in estate boasts of its wide space and multiple residences, a feature Satoru is able to take advantage of. After being released from the Prison Realm with a death sentence hanging over his head, there really isn’t anywhere he can go. Suguru’s case is worse, of course, this death sentence is his second one. He might have been able to take back control of his body, but it doesn’t erase the crimes he and that ancient sorcerer did while residing inside him.

If it was up to Satoru, he wouldn’t drag Megumi into this any further. The boy — now the undisputed leader of the prominent Zen’in Clan — insisted, owing it to the fact that Satoru kept him and his sister under his care when they had no place to go to.

“Sorry for troubling you, Clan Leader Zen’in.”

“Please, Gojo-sensei, you should be the last person calling me that. Besides, I’m an accomplice anyway.” With the passing of the years came Megumi’s mastery of the Ten Shadows Technique, granting Satoru this freedom. “The last place they’d look for is their own backyard, won’t they?”

“That’s smart. Your teacher must be really great.”

Megumi ignores his lousy attempt at a façade and jabs directly at the issue at hand, “How is he?”

For a moment, Satoru’s shoulders seem to drop, but he immediately straightens up, as if that moment of small weakness was but an illusion.

“I don’t know, but I’m working on it. No worries, he’s no threat with me around.”

“I’m not worried about him.”

Time didn’t pass for Satoru inside the Prison Realm, but the world has moved on without waiting for him. He looks at Megumi without having to lower his gaze, smiles genuinely, and reaches out to ruffle the boy’s hair, “So responsible already. Don’t worry about me, either. I can handle this.”

-

Though the Zen’in estate is big, Satoru and Suguru had to reside in one of its smaller, unused quarters, leaving them with a small space with the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and the bedroom altogether. At least, the bathroom was a separate structure on its own, albeit it’s not big enough for comfort. Satoru thinks this is still better than none, besides, with this arrangement, he can keep an eye on Suguru all the time.

Suguru isn’t too keen on the fact that he’s being guarded, but it’s not like he can put up a fight either way. That ancient sorcerer’s plan released all the curses he had so far collected and left him with very basic ones. He did try to resist before, almost at the cost of their small quarters, but without his previous arsenal, he isn’t much of a match for Satoru.

“Keeping me here is pointless.”

It was the first conversational sentence Suguru drops several days after they have settled in the Zen’in estate, spoken over a lukewarm cup of black coffee. The television blares unintelligibly on the corner, its volume never loud enough to be heard beyond the walls of their small room.

Satoru looks up from his own cup, just having dropped the fourth cube of sugar in it.

“The world is after my head,” Suguru adds.

“They are after me, too, don’t think you’re so special.”

“You’re a vital member of the Gojo clan… No matter how the higher-ups seem to hate you, if you just bring my head to them, they’ll have to forgive your previous offenses. There’s no use in keeping me here, I’m a criminal.”

“I need no forgiveness. Not from them.”

Suguru ignores the implication. “Just kill me already.”

“Death is not the only path. You’re just being a coward, Suguru.”

“What? Do you want me to spend this second life repenting for all the lives I took? I still don’t care about them, Satoru.”

“Repentance? Both of us…we’re beyond that. You’ve killed people. I’ve brought people to their deaths. There’s already too much blood in our hands.”

“Then should we die together?” Suguru smiles — it is anything but sincere. Satoru has almost forgotten what his real smile looks like.

Satoru drops another cube of sugar. “We will, but not anytime soon.”

-

Satoru sleeps next to Suguru, not because he hopes to form some intimacy through contact, nor to make sure he will not run away in the middle of the night, but because there are times where terrors unseen haunt Suguru’s slumber, Satoru would need to hold him down lest he ends up hurting himself. He used to keep the distance as well, sleeping on the couch, but after one close call, Satoru didn’t want to take another chance.

It was also during these moments where Suguru’s walls are at their lowest, and they could have a semblance of a proper and civil conversation.

“What is it this time?” Satoru asks, almost an involuntary response at this point, his hand already smoothing Suguru’s hair, rubbing circles down his back.

“He’s trying to creep in again.” His voice is hoarse, low, almost inaudible, as if in fear that when he speaks loud enough, the nightmare will turn into reality. “He says…this brain is his…and he can return anytime he wants…”

When Suguru is like this, Satoru can hold him close without being pushed away, and so Satoru does, wrapping Suguru tightly between his arms.

“You’re stronger than him, you took over him. That bastard won’t own you again.”

“If I die, it’ll finally be over.”

“You won’t die. Not on my watch.”

-

With the small space and bare minimum mode of entertainment, Satoru resorts to watching movies with Suguru to pass the time.

Well, to call it ‘watching with’ is too much of a stretch.

“What do you want to watch today?” Satoru asks, as usual.

Suguru doesn’t respond, as usual too, remaining seated on the corner of the bed, always seemingly creating as much physical distance he could between the two of them. Whatever closeness they would have during Suguru’s nightmares dissipates as if it never existed in the first place.

Satoru eventually gives up with a sigh, picking a 2008 horror movie from the selection this time.

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen this yet.”

He loads the disc onto the player, then settles himself on the end of the small couch. It’s some sort of an unspoken invitation, one that Suguru never entertains.

The film plays, the film ends.

It’s a daily cycle.

-

Every now and then, Megumi drops by personally, providing them with their daily necessities. In this situation, his Ten Shadow Techniques are particularly useful for hiding the things he brings them, only pulling it out once he is within the four walls of the small quarters. They can’t be too careless, after all. Whenever Megumi arrives, Satoru takes it upon himself to do the cooking and even sets aside a portion for Megumi himself.

“How is it outside?”

“Curses are still running rampant,” Megumi says, his tone as if still a student reporting to his teacher. Nevertheless, his bearing has become more and more that of a clan leader, “There’s quite a lot, so it will really take some time.”

The responsible person is quietly laying down the bed — whether he is truly asleep or just pretending, Satoru just lets him be. The sizzle of the oil as he pours the ingredients onto the pan fills in the momentary silence.

“And how is being a clan leader?”

“I think I can understand why the late elder Naobito was drinking all the time.”

“Haha, now don’t go picking up his habit. You’ve got a former clan head before you here, just ask for my help if you need it.”

“I feel like Kamo-san would know more about being a clan head than you.”

“Was never one to deal with family politics anyway.”

“Don’t worry about the affairs of the Gojo family. Okkotsu-san is making sure your family won’t lose its place.”

“I knew I could always rely on the new generation.”

“But Gojo-sensei, many of us still do rely on you.”

“A habit that must be changed.” Satoru turns off the stove and transfers the food onto the prepared bowl. “It’s for this very reason the incident at Shibuya became possible.”

His eyes wander to Suguru’s figure then, and he notices how tense the other man’s shoulders are. In fact, they really haven’t talked much about that time. The ancient sorcerer knew of Satoru’s weakness; Satoru wonders if Suguru himself came to realize it.

“No, I mean...,” Megumi seems to want to say something else, but in the end, he just sighs in defeat, “Never mind.”

“Don’t be thinking too much. Here, have this,” Satoru gives him a bowl of the freshly cooked stir fry, “Added some extra ginger especially for you.”

He takes another look at Suguru —— he doesn’t seem to be planning in joining them. In the end, Satoru decides to eat dinner with Megumi. It’s only when Megumi bid his farewell and left the room did Suguru finally move, only catching a glimpse of his retreating figure.

“Your dinner’s ready,” Satoru tells him, “It’s still a bit warm.”

Suguru stays seated on the bed, his eyes still at the door. “Megumi, that kid, he looks oddly familiar.”

“Remember Zen’in Toji?” A frown forms on Suguru’s forehead, his lips pursing rather unhappily. Satoru immediately quips, “Well, Megumi’s his son. Megumi didn’t know anything about his father’s shady business, and they were left without parents, too, so I took him under my care.”

“He seems to be quite dependent on you.”

“Is he? That kid hates asking me for help.”

“When he said many of them still rely on you, he was probably referring to himself. I know that tone.”

“From where? The two kids you had with you?”

Suguru suddenly stops responding. It’s apparent that the topic of the two girls is something he didn’t want to talk about. Though Suguru never told him about what happened, Satoru has been able to connect the dots from the first report of Suguru’s crime to the time he showed up in Jujutsu Tech to declare war.

But still, he wished that Suguru can tell it to him in his own words. There’s so much that happened in the last decade, cleaving an immeasurable distance in the space between them — an emptiness about the people and things and circumstances that shaped them to be the people that they are now.

“It’s funny though,” Satoru tests the waters, trying to fill the gap starting from his own side, “Back then, we said we’d run away together with Amanai if she wanted to. We failed on that part, but—”

“We still ended up babysitting,” Suguru continues for him, the tension on his shoulders replaced by a sudden weight, “I guess Riko-chan got the best deal out of that incident.”

“The girls—”

“I’m not hungry.” Suguru cuts him off immediately, lays back on the bed, and turns around, covering himself with a blanket. He obviously didn’t want to talk about his own share of babysitting, so Satoru lets the conversation go.

For now, Satoru bottles his many questions —

Why did you run away?

Why didn’t you force me to come with you?

Why didn’t you tell me all the things that have bothered you?

Why did you suffer with your thoughts in silence?

If I tried a little harder, would you have come with me?

There are so many things to talk about, many things that can’t be talked about. Patience is one of Satoru’s virtues, and when it comes to Suguru, it becomes the greatest.

-

Many times, he catches Suguru staring at his own reflection in the mirror…no, not at his reflection, but the wound lining his forehead. Satoru isn’t as skilled as Shoko in terms of healing others — the skull is intact, the wound is gone, but the scar remains, a reminder to them both every single day.

“Does it bother you?” he asks.

It takes a while before Suguru replies. “A bit.”

“A full bangs will hide the scars.”

A small smile starts to form on the edges of Suguru’s lips, but it disappears in a flash, replaced by a melancholy look on his face, “Mimiko and Nanako would have loved to see that.”

“Are those…their names?”

“…Yes.”

The girls he saved and raised throughout these years, to whom he exchanged his status as a sorcerer to be a curse user, just so he can provide them a better life. After all that’s happened, their place is still big in his heart. Not a single ash could be recovered in the ruins left by Sukuna, and so Suguru mourns with only the memories the girls have left him, memories his body was able to keep despite death.

Later in bed, Suguru weeps quietly. Satoru holds him. In between them, there is silence.

-

Satoru loads a 2009 suspense thriller this time, one that he himself hasn’t had the chance to watch yet for some reason. With a bowl of popcorn in tow, he settles himself at the end of the couch.

The film starts.

Just as the title appears, he feels the couch shift.

Satoru holds his breath, turns to look —— Suguru sits next to him, his legs already crossed comfortably.

“Mind if I watch with you?” he asks.

Satoru smiles, offering him the bowl, “Not at all.”

The film plays. The film ends.

And by the time it does, Suguru’s head is already resting Satoru’s shoulder, and Satoru’s head on Suguru’s. The positions are so familiar even though it has been over ten years since they were last together like this. The credits roll and neither of them moves.

“It sucked.” Suguru is the first one to speak.

“Sure did,” Satoru lets out a laugh, “Want to watch another one?”

“Let me pick this time.”

“Your call.”

-

“Satoru.”

Suguru calls out his name in the dark, certain that he is still awake. Satoru turns. In the dim light, he finds Suguru staring up at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought. His nightmares have been recurring less and less, and at times they can go a whole night with a peaceful rest.

“Can’t sleep again?”

“No, I wanted to ask you something —— Why didn’t you chase after me?”

Memories of Shinjuku are still vivid in Satoru’s mind, especially the view of Suguru’s back getting further and further away from him, his own outstretched fingers curling into a fist. Looking back at all his years, it’s the only time he has ever felt so helpless. Shibuya can’t even compare.

“You didn’t seem to be the type to be swayed if I held you back.”

“And after that? You’re a jujutsu sorcerer. You have the responsibility to clean up curse users like me. Why didn’t you chase after me?”

“I didn’t want to be the one who kills you.”

Suguru turns to face him then, his expression solemn, “Yet you did.”

Satoru can’t help but reach out, running a hand over Suguru’s left arm. If there’s one thing he’d give that ancient sorcerer credit for, he fixed up Suguru quite well. “It was beyond me already. You declared war. I was under orders.”

Suguru doesn’t shy away from the touch, but neither does he reciprocate. “And what about now?”

“You and I are both fugitives. No need to follow some stupid higher-ups.”

“Freedom?”

“As free as we can be in this small quarters, yes.”

Ironic as it is, what Satoru just said was true. Step out and their tails will be chased by jujutsu sorcerers, stay in and they can maintain this pretense of liberty. In any case, it can’t be worse than staying inside the Prison Realm or being controlled by some ancient being.

“Back in Shibuya, many people died.”

“Trying to make me feel guilty?”

“Not at all. I just wanted to ask what you think of it now.”

Satoru ponders for a while, then with a sigh he says, “Can’t be helped. It’s regrettable, but it’s not like I’m a god. That brain knew me too well —— Do you still hate them? Non-sorcerers?”

“I don’t know. It used to be my fuel, but I’ve spent it all. Now I’m just…drifting.”

“Drifting isn’t bad. We can drift together over this sea of blood beneath us.”

A small laugh escapes Suguru’s lips. “Satoru, you really are so foolish. Because of me, you got sealed. Because of me, there’s a death penalty over your head. Why do you even still stay with me?”

What value does one Geto Suguru hold that the great Gojo Satoru can turn his back on the world just to be by this person’s side? Shouldn’t have it been obvious by now? Satoru can’t put all his heart’s contents into words, and so he reaches for Suguru’s hand instead and places a soft kiss on his palm.

“I’ve let you go twice,” he whispers, his breath warming Suguru’s cold hands, “and they both turned out to be very bad decisions.” Satoru looks up, meeting Suguru’s astonished gaze in the dim light, “I’m not letting you go again.”

-

Despite the chaos unleashed in the world, humanity still observed festivities, especially something like Setsubun as it concerns the cleansing of evil spirits. It also happens to be Suguru’s birthday. Upon Satoru’s request, Megumi drops by their small quarters and brings them food apt for the occasion. Satoru takes it from him with much gratitude and prepares the table, inviting him to eat with them.

It is a bit awkward, after all, Suguru has never really interacted with this young Zen’in clan head. His uncanny resemblance with Fushiguro Toji also rails up his fight-or-flight tendency, as if his body remembers the person who quite turned his world upside down.

“What?” Megumi suddenly asks him, the boy’s own shoulders tense, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” Suguru offers a weak smile, “I was just reminiscing — I fought your father once.”

Megumi visibly relaxes, very much unlike when he asked the same question to Satoru over a decade ago. “Apparently, I did, too.”

“Apparently?”

“I didn’t know he was my father at that time. I just came to know recently.”

“He’s crazy strong.”

“That he was.”

“Satoru looked after you?”

“He occasionally dropped by, but he’s no more a parent than my negligent father.”

“Hey—,” Satoru tries to butt in the conversation and save his reputation—

“No wonder. I thought you’re too good of a person to have been brought up by this nuisance.”

It’s useless.

“I heard that.”

“I was only speaking the truth —— Fushiguro Megumi, isn’t it? I apologize for imposing on you,” Suguru’s tone shifts, his fingers wrung together on top of his knees, “I don’t have anything to offer in return, I even had your sister caught up in all this mess. I can only thank you for letting me stay here unnoticed.”

“I’m no saint, I also have my personal biases. And I didn’t do this for you. Since Gojo-sensei asked for it, it’s nothing I can’t do. Besides, my sister’s issue has already been resolved, no need to hold onto things that are past. Just…whatever your issue is, please deal with it yourselves.”

Just in time, Satoru finishes laying down the food on the table, a small cake with a single candle lit on top taking the center spot. His eyes meet Suguru’s, his lips curving up in a soft smile. “Don’t worry, we’re already working on it.”

-

“We can be like…I don’t know…rogue jujutsu sorcerers or something. There are too many curses running about, I’m sure they won’t notice us if we do clean up some. We'll be doing them a great favor, too, you know?”

In the end, the two of them decided they can’t stay in the Zen’in estate forever. Sprawled on the bed, they’ve been discussing how to move forward with limited resources and a death penalty over their heads.

“You’re too noticeable for us to keep lowkey.”

Satoru suddenly stops, not failing to hear Suguru’s use of the word “us”. A sudden warmth blossomed in his chest, like the first ray of sunshine after a long, arduous, winter. It’s the onset of spring within his reach.

“Maybe if we eliminate all the released curses, they’d provide us both amnesties.”

“I released them, remember? The moment anyone from the jujutsu society sees me, I’m as good as dead.”

“I won’t allow that, of course.”

“No need to be so gallant. We can just run away after.”

“Where to?”

Suguru doesn’t even miss a beat when he replies, “Anywhere.”

-

“Gojo-sensei, are you sure about this?”

Under the cover of the night, three silhouettes huddle in an obscure corner of the Zen’in estate.

“We don’t want to overstay our welcome either,” Satoru smiles.

“You won’t,” Megumi assures him, “You’ve taken care of me for nine years, after all.”

“Then I’ll come back to settle the rest of your debt when things calm down, okay?” Satoru reaches out to pat Megumi’s hair one last time, “For now, we’ll have to deal with our lives on our own.”

“Please don’t die,” Megumi says with a stern look. “And please don’t get yourself sealed again.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?”

With a final farewell, Megumi retreats back into the Zen’in estate.

It’s only until his figure disappears that Satoru finally turns around and faces Suguru. He stretches out an arm, reaching for him. The weak moonlight brings an almost glittery sheen over his hair, reflecting the galaxy on his eyes. The sight is so beautiful it’s almost breathtaking — they haven’t been out for a while, and now, in just a few steps, it will be the road to freedom.

Together.

“Let’s go?”

Suguru takes his hand.

[butterflymar]

DAY 2: FAVORITE BL DRAMA

I have quite a few... I can’t choose just one so bare with me lol

Life Senjou No Bokura

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: One day after school, the serious Ito and the child-like Nishi meet by chance, as each endeavors to remain walking  on the sidewalk`s white line. As time goes by, Ito recognizes he is drawn to Nishi in a way that is new to him. Nishi, for his part, is frustrated that they only get to meet on the sidewalk. Ito decides to act upon his feelings and kisses a surprised Nishi, who agrees they need to walk side by side for a change. The sparks between them are undeniable as their relationship blossoms in high school, survives the college years, and matures into adulthood. A deeply moving work that bears witness to loving partners, whose unchanging feelings must co-exist within a world of changing realities.

My Personal Thoughts: I already wrote a review for this so I am going to re-share some of those thoughts here. This is one that I have watched countless times already. They went by the manga for mostly all of the episodes and I appreciated seeing that. They gave more context for certain details that may have been lost while reading the manga and translated it to screen. I think they depicted the age gaps well too. For 4 episodes only, I feel that they did a great job including the most important aspects. Actually now that I think of it, I would have loved to see more of them in their early 20s depicted on screen because that was like one of there honeymoon phases and I’m a hopeless romantic lol but that’s just a personal preference not complaining. Also, the show stopped at age 40 and they could have gone on throughout there entire lives but I understand why they chose not too. The manga is great as well!!! I think that the main actors depicted beautiful true love very well. They had amazing chemistry. Japanese BL’s have that special spark about them that I love. I also loved that it showed there relationship from high school till there later years. I don’t see that a lot with BL’s. They usually just stick to one time period. The aspect about them being connected by a line in relation to there love was a nice touch as well. I am glad that it has a happy ending as well. This is a pretty quick one to watch and a great one at that!!! If you haven’t watched it yet, I would highly recommend it!!!

I Told Sunset About You 

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: Teh and Oh-aew were best friends until a boyhood line of reasoning turned them into rivals. Years later as they're preparing for university admissions, both pursuing interests in the field of Communication Arts, the two meet in a Chinese language class. Their reunion awakens complicated and unstable feelings.

My Personal Thoughts: Same as above, I already wrote a review for this so I am going to re-share some of those thoughts here. This is DEFINITELY one of my top BL shows of the year 2020. This is such a beautiful masterpiece of a show!!! I remember when the preview trailer first came out… I was already hooked!!! I was on the lookout for it and it did not disappoint me one bit when it finally started. I looked forward to seeing it every week. It made me feel all of the emotions. I was up here sitting in my room crying over everything. I don’t think any other BL has made me this emotional before in my life. The two lead actors really DELIVERED!!! I could feel every single stare, every single body movement, and every single touch. You could cut the TENSION with a knife!!! No one couldn’t tell me that there wasn’t a magnetic true love between these two. I know this sounds cliche but it's like they were destined to be together from when they were childhood friends. Also, I would love to see them in future projects!!! The cinematography in this show is TOP FREAKIN NOTCH!!! Every single scene is just so beautifully shot. The cinematography alone makes me want to cry lol I saw somewhere that someone said the filming of the show reminded them of an indie film and I totally agree!!! The writing and directing on this show was impeccable to me!!! No cringy dialogue and every single line served its purpose well. This is movie grade writing. I also wanted to quickly just say that I loved the attention and callback to details throughout like with the tutoring book that Teh made for Oh-aew that was left empty by the end of episode 4, the flower that was supposed to be colored the same as Tan’s garment but Teh colored it red because he was thinking of Oh-aew, the rubbing of Oh-aew’s back when he sniffles, the references to Teh’s favorite actor, and the use of Chinese phrases to get meaning across. I could go on and on but wow I just loved how they really connected all of the details throughout. I can’t wait for Season 2!!!

Theory of Love

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: Third is a filmology major and a member of the Savage Team along with his best friends Two, Bone, and Khai, but he has a secret. Third has been secretly in love with Khai for years. For three years, he has kept his secret love in his heart, silently supporting and loving Khai while knowing there is absolutely no future between them since Khai is as straight as a streetlight pole and also an absolute player. To make matters worse, Khai has a "no dating friends" policy. How long can Third love Khai silently while watching Khai bring a different girl home every night? Third has tried to see Khai as just a friend. But has failed time and time again. Because as easy as it is to fall in love, to stop is just as hard.  Maybe even harder. That is until Third learns a secret that breaks his heart completely. But when Third decides to stop, Khai decides to start.

My Personal Thoughts: As sad as this show can make me feel at times, I love rewatching it. I still to this day think that it is one of the most well written BL’s that I have seen. Everything flows nicely and everything connects. Your not left wondering how you got from point A to point B. I thought the show had great character development especially when it came to Khai’s character towards the end of series. I know a lot of people had mixed feelings about his character due to how careless and dare I say stupid he acted at times but if he can make the audience hate him that much as a character... I would say he is doing something right!!! Gun’s acting never fails to amaze me!!! He really is one of the best actors I have seen. I know he had to be drained from all of that crying that he did throughout the show though lol It just goes to show that when you truly love someone you can’t just stop what you are feeling inside that easily no matter how the other person feels about you or treats you. As the old saying goes, love is blind. I also loved the friend group as well and Two and Bones side stories with the teacher and crush from school. They added to the shows greatness and didn’t take away from it. The friendship dynamics throughout the show was I feel something that really kept me engaged. The cast acted well together. There was no awkwardness or hesitation. I feel everyone bought there best for this drama. They incorporated the movie references so cleverly and I love how the title of each episode was the title of a real romance film. Just the overall theme of film was very intriguing to me. This drama left me filled with heartache and a rollercoaster of emotions but the ending is worth it!!!

HIStory3: Make Our Days Count

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: At first glance, high schoolers Xiang Hao Ting and Yu Xi Gu appear to be polar opposites: While Xiang Hao Ting is an outgoing, hot-headed extravert and some-time bully, Yu Xi Gu prefers to keep a low profile and focus on his schoolwork. They seem bound for totally different futures – the bookish Yu Xi Gu looks destined for academic success, while life is just a long popularity contest for Xiang Hao Ting. But a quirk of fate – and a crucial intervention by a female schoolmate – results in the two young men’s paths crossing. But there is more to both young men than first meets the eye. Xiang Hao Ting was not always this way. He started out as a perfect student until he discovered the joys of going off the rails. And Yu Xi Gu has a reason for being so aloof and studious: His parents died in a traffic accident while he was younger, and he is being fostered by his aunt. As such, he works hard to get good grades in an effort to win a scholarship and ease the financial burden on his relatives. Yu Xi Gu also works part-time at a convenience store, where his manager Liu Zhi Gang has developed a crush on a man he has met at the gym. Back at school, meanwhile, Yu Xi Gu and Xiang Hao Ting find themselves drawn together, and passions ignite. The former notices that he has the unique ability to bring Yu Xi Gu out of his shell – and becomes intent on melting his cold-as-ice exterior. What will happen when their two worlds collide? And can love be the catalyst that helps bring these two unlikely students together – as their high school days draw to a close?

My Personal Thoughts: I will stand by this notion for all of my days but this show is one of the best shows I have seen PERIOD!!! Not even best BL shows I have seen but just in general. It highkey saddens me that it is rated at an 8.1 right now on MyDramaList due to how it ended when other than that... it’s a top notch show. This was one that I watched as it was airing and I would get excited to see it every week. My clown self should have known by the title “Make Our Days Count” that some mess was about to occur but I didn’t pick up on it. Now, I just disregard the last episode (WE DON’T KNOW HER!!!). You can just tell that they had a great budget for this series. The production was on point. It had great cinematography, great storylines, and it felt realistic too. The main couples acting was OFF THE CHARTS AMAZING. I loved the whole opposites attract thing going on. Although the show was set in high school... it almost didn’t feel like it nor did it have those typical clichés going on. I liked how it dealt with topic of LGBTQ+ acceptance as well. I wasn’t so sure about the side couples relationship at first but I grew to love them as time went on. One last thing I wanted to point out was that even though I am always looking for a happy ending... I learned from this show that not everyone can get a happy ending. That’s not how life works sadly. In real life, there have been a lot of people who were truly in love and lost there partners tragically. Although it may be hard to accept the outcome, it is something that happens in real life. This is a drama that you appreciate even more as time goes on. It truly is a gem of a series!!!

TharnType

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: Type Thiwat is a handsome freshman with a passion for football and spicy food. Although he’s a friendly boy, he hates gay people because, in his childhood, he was molested by a man. His life turns upside down when the new academic year of college brings along a charismatic roommate, Tharn Kirigun. Tharn is a gorgeous, compassionate music major, who is also openly gay. When Type learns this, he is determined to make Tharn leave the dorm, as he won't live with a gay person. Tharn is equally determined not to give into Type's homophobic tantrums. With a gay guy and a homophobic guy that have to share a small space together for the rest of the year — what can possibly be the outcome of their story? Hatred? Or maybe love?

My Personal Thoughts: *Goes to hide in a corner* I know this drama is problematic and controversial as hell but it’s like a train wreck that you can’t turn  away from. What truly carries the show I feel is the chemistry between MewGulf. I don’t think I would have enjoyed the series as much if other actors were cast in those roles. They just exude confidence, passion, love, and lust. In terms of the storyline, I found it to be a chaotic occurrence of situations where I just had to know what was going to go on next. Everything that occurred had me intrigued for the next episode and so on and so forth. I loved Type’s character development. One quick thing I want to touch on was I know there were a lot of problematic things that happened which I will touch on at a later date but one thing I wish people were more understanding of was Type’s outbursts, thoughts, and feelings in certain situations. He was a victim of sexual assault so I felt the way he handled certain things was in response to what he had gone through as child and I think some viewers kind of missed that and were almost too harsh on him. Everyone processes and deals with trauma differently. This show went through so many twists and turns and I honestly lived for it especially the shocker towards the end of the series. I didn’t see that one coming at all!!! Despite all of its flaws, this show still holds a special place in my heart.

Honorable Mention:

Cherry Magic: As of today, this show has 4 episodes left and I think I am just going to come out and say that THIS IS MY FAVORITE BL OF THE YEAR!!! It’s a beautiful Japanese BL and I rewatch the old episodes while I wait for new ones to come out alot. It’s such a fluffy, heartwarming, and precious Bl series!!! I love it to pieces!!!