#And I graduated and started as a psychologist at 24

[aucoba]

What the heck is going on??

Please add in the tags where you're from too I'm very curious

[markrosewater]

Happy birthday! Can we get some birthday trivia about you on your birthday?

Sure. I turn 56 today, so here’s fifty-six things you may or may not know about me.

1) I never lost a baby tooth. Every one had to be extracted.

2) I was once a contestant on Trivial Pursuit: The Game Show with Wink Martindale. I answered the most questions correct, but didn’t win.

3) I once had scarlet fever (the thing the boy gets in the Velveteen Rabbit).

4) I’ve been told by doctors I have very weird blood.

5) I self taught myself to juggle.

6) I was a magician when I was a kid with the stage name The Wiz Kid. I mostly performed for kids parties.

7) I was once a freelance greeting card writer. My favorite (that didn’t get printed) showed a jug of maple syrup tipped on its side making a puddle of syrup. In the syrup was a top hat. A hand is pulling a can of green paint with a shamrock out of the hat. You open up the card and it says Sappy Paint Hat Tricks Day. It’s a triple Spoonerism.

8) Sara Gilbert (of “Roseanne” fame) and I once went out for lunch. (It wasn’t a date or anything.)

9) I broke my collarbone doing a prat fall off a stage.

10) I once pet a cheetah. In South Africa. My face from the picture of me doing that was used as my “Making Magic” photo for years.

11) I once made a root beer float for Keanu Reeves. It was at a play I was volunteering for.

12) I once get trapped inside Fred Astaire’s Estate. This factoid is oddly on my Wikipedia page.

13) Starting during the pandemic, my family began fostering animals. So far, we fostered four dogs, six cats, and two Guinea pigs.

14) In college, I wrote and directed two plays, started an improvisation troupe, and a writing workshop.

15) I still have all my wisdom teeth.

16) I have visited every continent except Antarctica for Magic.

17) I once asked Clint Eastwood for directions, not realizing who it was until he started talking. I was lost on the Warner Brothers lot.

18) My first job in Hollywood resulted from me taking part in someone else’s interview. I snuck on the lot, and ended walking into a room where they asked “Are you here for the production assistant interview?”, and I said, “Yes.”

19) I once had a disease the doctors couldn’t identify. They called it Mark’s Disease.

20) I was born in Mississippi. My dad was in the Air Force at the time.

21) I asked out seven woman to my senior prom who all turned me down. I ended up going with a friend who also couldn’t get a date.

22) I took six years of Spanish.

23) Most of my family’s vacations growing up were ski vacations, so I’m a decent skier.

24) I once delivered a pizza to Richard Gere. It was as a production assistant, not a pizza delivery person.

25) I once broke into an actor’s apartment building to deliver a script. It was so late, they were asleep and didn’t hear the buzzing of the door bell.

26) I once drove six hours (three in each direction) to pick up one five-stick package of Blackjack gum as a runner (production assistant).

27) Dennis Miller once thought I was a crazy man. I was sent to get him from the parking lot for a shoot and he thought I was stalking him.

28) I have over two hundred tee-shirts. They are organized by color.

29) I was supposed to pitch to “The Simpsons”, but it got cancelled when I got hired in the “Roseanne” staff.

30) I pitched multiple times to “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, but never sold a script. The closest I got was a pitch about Data malfunctioning.

31) I once ate crocodile. In Australia.

32) I played the Tinman in fifth grade in a production of “The Wizard of the Oz”. I was so hot, my silver make-up had to be reapplied halfway through as I sweated it off.

33) My mother turned down being on “Oprah” to come to my college graduation.

34) My parents are both retired. My dad was a dentist and my mom a psychologist. I used to joke I had a “paradox”.

35) Every birthday since I was 9, I’ve celebrated my birthday with crab legs.

36) Since I was in grade school, every Valentine’s Day, I hand out candy hearts, and every Halloween, I hand out mellowcreme pumpkins (basically pumpkin shaped candy corns).

37) My tee-shirts every week are themed. Some themes are pretty obvious, but they often get tricky. R&D likes figuring out the theme.

38) I got a BS in Communications (no, really) from Boston University’s College of Communications.

39) I collect superhero Minimates (they look Lego-ish). I have somewhere around two thousand. They are displayed in a number of cabinets built by my dad.

40) My podcast was inspired by a talk by Kevin Smith (at San Diego Comic-Con) where he said anyone could make a podcast.

41) I have attended over twenty-five San Diego Comic-Cons.

42) I am related to Lorne Green of “Bonanza” fame.

43) My dad’s family came from Germany and my mom’s from Russia. In Germany, my family’s name was Rosenvasser, but it was changed to Rosewater when they came to the U.S.

44) There are so few Rosewaters in the United States, that if you meet a Rosewater odds are I’m related to them.

45) I have lived in five states (Mississippi, Ohio, Massachusetts, California, and Washington, in that order).

46) I have visited over thirty states for Magic.

47) I once met Jim Henson when I worked on a clip show that Kermit was on. The question I asked him was if Ernie and Bert were named after the characters from “It’s a Wonderful Life”. He said not consciously. Jim Henson is one of my idols and I feel so blessed to have met him. He died a few months later.

48) I met Stan Lee at Hascon. He is another of my idols that I feel so lucky to have met.

49) On “Roseanne”, I worked with Amy Sherman-Palladino (just Amy Sherman back then) and Chuck Lorre. She made “Gilmore Girls” and “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. He made “Big Bang Theory” and “Two and a Half Men”. Amy was super sweet and we got along well. I don’t think Chuck liked me.

50) I am a super picky eater. For example, except for apples, I don’t eat fruit. I hate bananas with a passion.

51) I have been a game player since very young. My dad loves games and introduced them to me early in life.

52) I get the writing bug from my mom.

53) I used to collect lint in a giant jar. When I got married, Lora made me get rid of it. It was an impressive amount of lint.

54) I have a bad tendency to burn myself a lot. My family loves to make fun of it.

55) I own over fifty flannels. My favorites are from Japan because they are more colorful with their flannels. Normally I wear a large, but in Japanese sizes, I’m an extra large.

56) My favorite number is 254. I chose it when I was little.

[petervintonjr]

"We, the people. It's a very eloquent beginning. But when that document was completed on the seventeenth of September in 1787, I was not included in that 'We, the people.' I felt somehow for many years that George Washington and Alexander Hamilton just left me out by mistake. But through the process of amendment, interpretation, and court decision, I have finally been included in We, the people. Today I am an inquisitor. An hyperbole would not be fictional and would not overstate the solemnness that I feel right now. My faith in the Constitution is whole; it is complete; it is total. And I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction, of the Constitution." --from Barbara Jordan's opening remarks to the House Judiciary Committee on July 24, 1974, regarding the impeachment of Richard Nixon

Today, June 1, kicks off Pride Month (and also incidentally marks the third anniversary of the start of this series), and I thought it appropriate to examine the amazing accomplishments of Texas civil rights leader, attorney, and Congresswoman Barbara Charline Jordan.

Born in a poor Houston neighborhood in 1936, Jordan discovered an early aptitude for languages and oration, and also debate. She graduated from Texas Southern University in 1956, then obtained her LL.B. from Boston University School of Law in 1959. She was admitted to both the Massachusetts and Texas bars in 1960, then began practicing law in Houston --at the time only the third African American woman to be so licensed. An outspoken supporter of John F. Kennedy's presidential campaign, she herself entered politics and unsuccessfully ran for state representative in 1962 and again in 1964. Two years later her fortunes changed, however, and in 1966 she became the first African American elected to the Texas Senate in 1966.

Jordan's standing as a fellow Texan Democrat endeared her to then-President Lyndon Johnson and in many respects she became LBJ's protégée. In 1972 Jordan ran for Congress for Texas's 18th District, and unseated the incumbent Republican, becoming the first woman --of any race-- elected to Congress from that state.

Jordan's political career accomplishments extend far beyond this biography's available space, but among the high points include her aggressive sponsorship of the Voting Rights Act of 1975 (an extension of the more famous 1965 measure), and the Equal Rights Amendment in 1977. Also significantly she served on the House Judiciary Committee during the Nixon impeachment hearings, and her speech at the 1976 Democratic National Convention is widely regarded as one of the best keynote speeches in modern history; her presence in many ways even eclipsing that of the party's nominee, Jimmy Carter. (She would return as a keynote speaker for the 1992 Democratic National Convention.)

Jordan retired from politics in 1978 and became a professor at the Lyndon B. Johnson School of Public Affairs at the University of Texas in Austin. In 1993 Jordan was the first recipient of the Nelson Mandela Award for Health and Human Rights. A year later she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Bill Clinton for her trailblazing work. That same year Jordan was also named the chair of the U.S. Commission on Immigration Reform. Jordan died from complications from pneumonia in January of 1996, and is buried at the Texas State Cemetery in Austin --significantly breaking barriers even in death as the first-ever black woman to be interred there. While Jordan never explicitly acknowledged her personal sexual orientation in public, she was open about her life partner of nearly 30 years, educational psychologist Nancy Earl.

Her legacy continues through the Jordan Rustin Coalition (named for her and for Civil Rights organizer Bayard Rustin --see Lesson #05 in this series): a non-profit advocacy group working to empower Black same-gender loving, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals and families; and to promote equal marriage rights and to advocate for fair treatment of everyone without regard to race, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

Full text of Jordan's July 24, 1974 remarks: https://millercenter.org/the-presidency/impeachment/my-faith-constitution-whole-it-complete-it-total

A truly absorbing 1976 article about Jordan's life and career by William Broyles, indexed at: https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/the-making-of-barbara-jordan-2/

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Started this class so I would leave the house more and give myself a sense of accomplishment before my birthday so maybe I don’t have a massive breakdown and so that I could have completed ONE thing since highway school, to have something to feel good about

But yet again I’ve proven I just can’t finish anything to save my life and that I’m useless and shouldn’t even try because I’m just dumb and unskilled and can’t even just get simple enjoyment out if it despite my levels. I’m always dreading Thursday. Despite having only gone like 3 times in perosn so far :/

I’m just so disappointed in myself

And frustrated at my limitations. It’s like my brain just doesn’t want to get better. It doesn’t want to give me any leeway. Which just makes me spiral even more because I think well what’s the point.

What’s the point of the support workers the psychologists or the recovery coach or the rehabilitation worker or taking medication or trying a new skill. What’s the point to any of it if I’m never going to be able to do it and just end up back at square one over and over and over and over again. With the time moving by so unbelievably quickly.

I kept thinking it’s okay I’m just out of high school, I still have time, just a little longer, I’m not so far behind

And now I’ll be 24 this year. It all went by so quickly. Most people I went to school with who went to uni have graduated. Or they have jobs. Or they are married. Or they have kids. My sister has graduated. She’s moved out. All that time I thought I had just slipped away so quickly that I can’t even comprehend it most of the time.

I’m still right where I was. No further writing endeavours, most likely dummer then when I started. No job. No close relationships. No stronger ability to handle my mental health. Can’t even complete a damn 10 week mini Japanese course. Enough energy to be upset at my life but clearly not enough to actually fix it.

And I’ll probably spend another month in inpatient like I did last year. Just repeating the cycle over and over and over again. Of still being ugly. Still being dumb. Still being I unaccomplished and lazy and good for nothing. Not being able to bring one worthwhile thing into anyone’s life. Still crying online about being a lesbian.

Just what’s the point

[riilsports]

RIIL/KyleCares Teen Mental Health Summit delivers message that “You Are Not Alone”   

January 24, 2024

BY CAROLYN THORNTON

Rhode Island Interscholastic League

PROVIDENCE, RI – More than 220 Rhode Island high school students and chaperones representing 31 schools attended the RIIL/KyleCares Teen Mental Health Summit, Friday, January 12, 2024 at Gaige Hall on the Rhode Island College campus. This important workshop - that we offered free of charge to students from RIIL member schools - stressed the importance of focusing on one's emotional well-being through self-care, encouraging those students who are struggling with their mental health to seek help and guiding them on the best ways to do so.

     The conference began with keynote speaker Ivy Watts in the Gaige auditorium. Author of the book, “You Are Worth Fighting For,” Watts is a former All-American track and field athlete, who graduated Summa Cum Laude and finished as a Top 30 Finalist for the NCAA Woman of the Year Award. Despite her outward success as a student-athlete, she struggled in silence with her mental health and self-worth and now openly shares her story in the hopes of breaking the stigma around mental health.

     “I want you all to know that you can start today no matter how negative you’ve been with yourself in your past,” Watts told the attendees. “You can start today and can start pouring into your self-love and positivity. It’s something I wish I had done when I was your age.”

     “You have an opportunity to start today,” Watts continued. “You have an opportunity to be gentle with yourself when you don’t do as well as you wanted to in a situation. You have an opportunity to be gentle with yourself and tell yourself that ‘I know I can start over. I know that I am worthy of starting over. I know that I did my best and that was good enough in that moment.

     “You can literally give yourself a hug, and that’s a really great way to know that you’re not alone in that moment,” said Watts, wrapping her arms around herself. “You can pour some love into yourself. You can put your hand over your heart and tell yourself that ‘I am safe. I am loved. I am good enough. I am smart. I am worthy.’ These are all tools that you can pour into your self-love starting today, no matter how negative you’ve been with yourself in the past.”

       After listening to Watts, students and chaperones then rotated through nine breakout sessions throughout the morning and concluded with lunch at Donovan Dining Center. In light of the challenging themes brought up during the conference, a Mental Health Support Lounge staffed with licensed clinical psychologists was available throughout the day for anyone who needed to take a breather, calm and center themselves or chat with a counselor.  

    Former Patriots running back Thomas Clayton, two-time Super Bowl Champion Tully Banta-Cain and mascot Pat Patriot paid a visit to Friday’s mental health summit, posing for photos with the students. Banta-Cain also took part in an entertaining Q&A session with participants during lunch that included a few of the students joining him on stage to sing Lean On Me.

     This conference was offered as part of a unified proactive approach by the RIIL and KyleCares in advocating for mental health awareness across the RIIL community by promoting educational and training opportunities to high school principals and athletic directors and introducing the “KyleCares-WeCare” awareness campaign which hinges on the belief that “Mental Health Matters” as much as physical health.

     Watts concluded her keynote speech by asking the audience to join her in repeating three positive affirmations: “I am worthy. I am capable. I am good enough.”

      “You might be saying, well, the change isn’t going to happen overnight,” she said to the students. “Well, you’re right. It takes a lot of effort to begin to believe - for your body, your brain, to really believe these affirmations. It’s a consistent practice, just like anything else in your life. But just by saying these affirmations, your brain does hear it. Your brain does begin to believe it. And over time, you’re going to carry yourself differently, view yourself differently, love yourself differently and be able to accept yourself through all of the changes.”   

[tallmantall]

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth - 10 #MentalHealthAwareness Tips For Older #Teens And Young #Adults

Here's what young people, #parents, peers, #teachers and co-workers need to look for, and what to do. Fatema Dohadwala Here's what young people, #parents, peers, #teachers and co-workers need to look for, and what to do. Summer can be especially turbulent for #highschool graduates and others in their late #teens and early 20s. Whether preparing for higher education, starting a new job, or joining the #military, #teens are entering or navigating a new stage of life, which comes with intense emotions and feelings, often increasing the risk for #mentalhealthconcerns. Additionally, this time of life comes with the desire to be more independent, making it a critical time for you, as a #parent, peer, #teacher and co-worker to understand what your #child, friend, #student or colleague is going through and how it may be affecting their #mentalwellness. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy   www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Here, clinical #psychologist Emily Bilek, Ph.D., and clinical social worker Natalie Burns, LMSW, both from the Michigan Medicine Department of Psychiatry and the University of Michigan Eisenberg Family #Depression Center, provide more background on the issue, tips about managing #mentalhealthillnesses, risk factors in young people to watch for and what you can do to help. 1. A #mentalhealthcondition is the result of multiple causes, not just one Studies show that about half of all lifetime #mentalillness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24, making this a critical group for the onset of #mentalhealthproblems. So what exactly causes this onset? According to research, 30% to 40% of #mentalhealthdisorders are related to genetic causes, and 60% to 70% are related to the environment that the individual is in from early #childhood onward, meaning everything from their physical surroundings to their relationships. Like Podcasts? Add the Michigan Medicine News Break on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts #Mentalhealthconditions are not caused by character flaws or physical characteristics of the individual, but rather because of chemical imbalances in the brain, #stress and #trauma due to early life experiences and family history. 2. There are no bad emotions There is a wide range of emotions that are part of the human experience, and it is important to express all of them, rather than suppressing any. It is common to place emotions like sadness, fear, anxiousness, and anger under a label that they are “bad” or suppressing these emotions because of the perceived difficulty to cope with them. While it may feel comfortable to do so at the time, selectively numbing emotions can lead to negative consequences in the future.  3. Be aware of new or sudden changes Being human – and especially a #teenager or young #adult – comes with many ups and downs. Feelings of highs and lows are inevitable, but the key is to look for whether these feelings are affecting one’s ability to do what they want or need on a daily basis. If you know someone is experiencing concerning symptoms, ask: is there a dramatic change in normal functioning? If yes, then professional help may be needed. 4. Understand that #socialmedia isn't just a #teen problem From social comparison, to biased media consumption, to procrastination, #socialmedia can lead to many negative effects on your #mentalhealth, young and older. Validating someone's struggles with #socialmedia and recognizing their vulnerability to it is important when helping those that are struggling with balancing its use.  A resource #parents can use while navigating their #teens’ online engagement is Techno Sapiens, a blog created by Jacqueline Nesi, a #psychologist who studies the role of #socialmedia in #adolescents' #mentalhealth and development.  5. Know that the #pandemic will continue to have lasting impacts on many #teenagers and young #adults Research shows many negative impacts of the #pandemic on #mentalhealth in #teens, especially due to the switch to virtual learning in the early months. #Adolescents are hard-wired for connection, and losing this sense of belonging from #school can lead to lasting feelings of #isolation. Additionally, spending more time in unstable home environments can increase emotional instability. SEE ALSO: When reality fails: What to know about psychosis It’s important to consider these effects when evaluating the current state of someone's #mentalhealth, even if they are back to “normal” in-person learning and working, and #financial #stress has reduced. A young person who lost loved ones but did not have normal grieving opportunities, such as funerals during the past two and a half years, may also be affected in the long term. 6. Avoid tying self-worth to an outcome Academic pressures and imposter syndrome are common problems that #adolescents encounter in their daily lives. Not doing well on an exam or as well as peers may induce feelings of unworthiness. As a #parent or #adult in a young person's life, it's important to model self-compassion and remind them that intrinsic worth isn't based on accomplishments.  7. Help a #teen or young #adult get care or be more involved in the care they're receiving About 75% of young #adults with #mentalhealthproblems are not in contact with #mentalhealthservices. Furthermore, lacking a sense of agency or self-efficacy in their care may lead to less receptiveness to getting care. Collaborative care with both a #patient and professional’s input and involvement can lead to the best outcomes. SEE ALSO: Fewer Deaths Among #Adults Who Got Extra Support as Suicidal #Teens 8. Ask questions about their treatment Though many medications are available for #anxiety and #depression, a combination of #behavioral and talk therapy is also proven to be effective treatment, alone or in combination with medication. Staying curious and asking questions about the latest research and options for therapy or medication can help ensure the person you know is getting the best care.  9. Create more welcoming, safe spaces for those who identify with the #LGBTQ+ community #LGBTQ+ #teenagers and young #adults are almost twice as likely as their peers to experience symptoms of #anxiety and #depression. This is primarily due to experiencing higher levels of discrimination and a lack of acceptance from society. Providing more affirming spaces to encourage social connectedness is a prime way to help #minorities feel seen and respected. 10. Have constructive conversations around #suicide An increase in emergency room visits for #adolescents suffering with #suicidalideation in recent years is a clear indication that new ways must be found to redirect #teenagers and young #adults from acting on thoughts of #self-harm. Being aware of the risk factors and speaking up when you feel a friend or family member may be in trouble is vital to saving lives. The #AmericanFoundationforSuicidePrevention has great talking points if someone is concerned about a young person’s #suiciderisk and wants to reach out. If you or someone you know experiences a #mentalhealthcrisis, chat online with the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline or call them at 800-273-8255. For #veterans experiencing a #mentalhealthcrisis: Call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, chat live, or text 838255. Starting in mid-July, a #suicidehotline will also be available by dialing 988 from any phone. Read the full article

[novictories-onlybattles]

Now I graduated. Money is hard when you have to do 16-24 hours of unpaid work (internship) for 16 months. But I found a full time job that pays really well that starts in 2 weeks. I'm nervous but I think I'll do okay. It's relly daunting going into a job where part of the job is diagnosing children with mental health disorders. I haven't had to do that yet because my internships were in schools and school social workers don't diagnose kids, the school psychologists do that.

Anyway, that's the update if anyone is still here.

Today I got into the Boston College MSW program. I honestly didn’t think it would happen because the acceptance rate is 50% and what makes me more special than the other 50% who don’t get in? I already got denied from a school that has an acceptance rate of 70%. 

I got average grades in undergrad. I didn’t do any extracurriculars. I didn’t spend weeks/months on my essay and I didn’t have anyone proofread it although I worked incredibly hard on it. 

But I did it. I did it. Me. All on my own. 

I am so incredibly excited for what this next chapter holds even though it still doesn’t feel real and it feels like it’s a lifetime away. My number one school is the University of Maryland - Baltimore and I’m waiting so anxiously for that decision letter. But either way, if I get accpted or denied from UMB, I know I am on the path to my dream career as a school social worker. 🖤

Now I just have to start to wrap my head around the fact that in either six months or a year (depending on the school) I’m moving 1000+ miles away from where I’ve lived the entire 24.5 years of my life. 

[galactic-murmaider]

Some Offdensen Headcanons/Fan Theories (or: “Sed cur pateris?”)

Some of these I might flesh out into a fanfic, but then I remember of right I have two psychologists I've been neglecting for too long because I started watching the series just to get some inspiration and now oops now I'm obsessed with this show again and found a different middle-aged man to simp over. So for now enjoy some of my rambling nonsense. Also bear in mind this all pre-movie release so it is inevitable some of this will be completely wrong albeit if I do get anything right, my PayPal is right open /j. So without further ado:

1. When he was born

Little known fun fact, we actually sort of know when he was born to the point where I went ahead added it to his fan wiki page. In the episode “Dethsources” (S2E14) we see a first place plaque for a fencing tournament dated 1985.

I bring this up because with college sports there is no age limit ,your eligibility to compete expires after four or five years of graduating high school (so undergrad and maybe the first year of grad school) although the rules vary slightly vary depending on which Division it’s in and there’s small exceptions such as being in the military (we’ll get to that). So assuming Charles graduated high school at the typical age, he was roughly around 18-24 at the time putting his birth year between 1962-1967 putting him in about his forties for most of the series’s run. And naturally Metalocalypse being Metalocalypse I hereby propose that he might’ve been born in 1966. And if you want to be extra metal, probably on either June 6th or April 30th. Especially since if you believe a certain fan theory he’d technically be the Metalocalypse universe’s equivalent of the Anti-Christ albeit fortunate that he went the Hellboy route…which leads me to:

2. His family

CW: Brief discussions of dubious/non-consent (at least in the context of classic mythology)

I’ve read a few good fan fics so I’m gonna try not to copy others I’ve read too much,but to get one thing out of the way: it’s a modest bet but I somewhat subscribe to the fan theory Salacia is his father. It’s not a perfect theory, but I reblogged a post a while ago that makes a pretty convincing argument as to why that might be the case so I recommend checking that out so I won’t bore you with the full details. Only other thing about my interpretation of the dad!Salacia theory I’ll add for now is that Salacia probably conceived Charles for a specific, nefarious purpose (think Ego from Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2); unaware that he’d grow up to become the Dead Man. I’d probably imagine he used a similar technique to him shapeshifting in Doomstar Requiem to lovebomb and hypnotize Murderface to set him up for betraying the rest of Dethklok in that he courted Charles’ mother using a specific persona (probably without the hypnosis since I don’t want to go full sexual assault here but then again his name is possibly word play on “salacious”) for reasons that don’t really have roots in “love” since as far we can tell he sees most humans as pawns to him even if he’d probably have to at least seen “something” in her. Although we at least know that he stuck around for a while rather than the abandonment being immediate. And even regardless on if you believe in the Salacia theory, there is some indication that Charles grew up with an absent father since he refers to him exclusively in the past tense and seems oddly wistful about the subject in S3E5’s “Fatherklok” (again know this isn’t a flawless theory since that scene could have several possible meanings). And hell speaking of that episode, it’d make sense from a narrative perspective since gods seducing mortals (including taking other forms to do so) is a common theme in various mythologies, especially since for all we know Ms. Offdensen may not have been the only one.

…but enough of that for now, I’d probably imagine he was primarily raised by a single mother or extended family after his father left the family. I have plans for the latter but I’m keeping my more fan fic-y ideas under wraps for now (as tempted as I am to infodump about his mom and Uncle Ned). All I will add is that the personality I gave his mother kind of depends on what version I’m going with. He probably might also come from a more lower-middle or working class background since I think it might strengthen his character arc if he didn’t come from anything, especially if he had to claw his way to where he was at the start of the series even if it requires blood along the way (because capitalism gonna capitalism). Also depending on the nature of what Salacia’s endgame is, he potentially has several half-siblings he has no idea exists. Although probably was raised alongside his cousins in the extended family version of his backstory, he has “oldest sibling” vibes to me.

3. What was he like growing up?

For the most part not super different, he kind of gives off serious “grew up rather fast” energy. That is to say seems quiet and nerdy in the surface, except he could kick your ass even back then as a few bullies learned the hard way (“have you ever been kicked down a roller slide?”). After all as established earlier, he seems to have grown up without a father which can lead to aggression and other behavior issues in some children as shown in some real life studies, but it was more the pent up kind where it’s bottled up and then explodes under specific circumstances. So he was slightly more aggressive than usual at first and for all we know the fencing lessons might’ve been a way to provide an outlet for that. Especially since he was caught at least once in elementary school, with his guidance counselor being borderline-terrified of the possibility of him being a “budding psychopath” and being not sure how to feel after he became Dethklok’s manager and thus the richest and most powerful man on Earth. Although by the time we get to high school, yeah he’s more or less similar to how he is as an adult.

He had a mostly okay relationship with his family, albeit in the present he isn’t as close either due to being constantly tied to his work and/or there’s not a lot of his family that are still alive. That and he’s specifically from Narragansett, Rhode Island which I partially chose because of the water connection and also the fact that they have these towers that look semi-“metal” if you ask me

That and he had a near-death experience at age eleven in which he almost drowned and had these strange visions of five figures with a blazing star but that’s not important….and speaking of death, I guess:

4. Does he have a military background?

As far as I know yes, albeit he doesn’t like to talk about it, it’s at least explain how he has so many skills from marksmanship to being able to maintain his own private in the form of some of the elite Klokateers ,as well as how he was able to blend in so well during the nine months he spent infiltrating Crozier’s army between seasons 2 and 3. Although the exact details I’m having a hard time figuring out (other than he probably didn’t have any encounters with the Tribunal at least no directly), mostly because the US military did have some military action in the 80’s and early 90’s but not by much, as well justify the how or why considering the college exemptions, although my best guess might be taking a cue from The Two Of Us Are Dying only without the outdated information and saying it might’ve been a college scholarship thing after something happened regarding the fencing one. There is at least the possibility that he might’ve gone to a military prep school since bare in mind contrary to pop culture believes, they’re not reform schools for juvenile delinquents and is as selective as any private school, I doubt he’d at least turn the scholarship opportunities and the sense of structure even if being in the armed forces may not be his preferred career path…that and also you get a sword and we all know Charlie likes swords.

Although this one might need the most polish albeit I did as much research on this subject as possible. I have also considered the possibility of somehow he was a Tribunal agent that went rogue ,but I’m not sure if that would make sense. Also because Metalocalypse is Metalocalypse, I at least dubbed the school the Napalm Death Academy, who’s motto is “Sed cur pateris”. Totally no red flags and is certainly not secretly part of the Tribunal’s conspiracy….I’m running out of transitions so here’s the part you’ve probably been waiting for:

5. How he met Dethklok (and the early years)

CW: suicide ideation

He didn’t find Dethklok, Dethklok found him so to speak. It would especially make since thematically since the Metalocalypse universe runs on fate and destiny, in particular of the “everything happens for a reason” variety so it was likely a chance encounter. Possibly during a dark chapter in his life particularly of the quarter life crisis variety, in a way Dethklok gave him purpose and a reason to keep going. And Doomstar Requiem revealed that Dethklok had a manager before him (and I don’t feel like just calling him “old manager” the whole time so let’s just go with the placeholder name Blake for now). I’d probably imagine that this manager was only slightly more competent than Dethklok themselves and was prone to making bad business decisions. And while I feel like I could write a whole ass fan fiction about this, I’ll at least set the scene for the cliffnotes version:

It’s around the early to mid 90’s, Charles’s post-college career didn’t exactly go as he planned since he found himself unsatisfied and unfulfilled with his job and general life direction (possibly toppled by personal tragedy such as death in the family) to potentially even suicidally depressed levels. The stars somehow align one evening so that he hears an up and coming act that catches his attention rather quickly, he’d been a secret metalhead for a while to escape the stresses of his job (a la Aggretsuko) but this band was something else, something much greater. Although interacting with them and their manager after the show was a much different experience, but he couldn’t help but take in one piece of information…that apparently they weren’t even being paid for the gig and clearly they deserve better than being “paid in exposure”, so he abandoned any plans he might’ve had on ending his own life. In other words: Dethklok being high key stupid saved his life!

As for Blake, didn’t really take his job too seriously in the first place that lead to Charles picking up the slack even before becoming their manager officially; especially after miraculously making enough to quit his shitty old job and commit to the band full time, which eventually escalated into a falling out (probably when Charles arranged the Crystal Mountain desk which Blake thought was him being a “sell out”) that caused him to quit and walk out on the band. It took at least two weeks for Dethklok to notice he was even gone, thinking he’d just gone out to get cigarettes.

I apologize for being confusingly vague with some of these, but trying to balance whether or not I should spoil potential fan fic ideas or not. But Y’know what I can’t spoil?

6. Sexual and Romantic Orientation

Originally in the misc. section but actually it went on for so long it was graduated to it’s own section

But I think he’s most likely somewhere on the aspec since he’s one of the few male characters that expresses no interest in romance or sex (the closest we get to anything hinting at his sexuality being “Goingdownklok” which even then “No comment” could have several potential meanings). Kind of doesn’t help that the Church of Black Klok consists solely of men as far as we can tell and the back of the Season 3 DVD/Blu-Ray has a quote from Ishnifus about that how “none shall birth no more” which seems to suggest that it’s a “vow of celibacy” type of religious order, although again the fact that Offdensen is prepared for such a thing could mean multiple different things. Along with some other subtle and not so subtle hints such as Skwisgaar is the only one he doesn’t pal in the Season 3 extra around with due to him sleeping with a few women, and in the deleted scene from “Dethsources” during the counterpart to Melmord’s montage (there’s even purple lighting) . But still I’m also open to the possibility that he’s gay or even that he’s into women but a thousand times classier than Dethklok; it’s just him being asexual is the one I put the most stock in. Hopefully the new movie might provide a representation win, but we’ll see.

Furthermore, we know canonically from the episode Fanklok that even in-universe there are people that want to sleep with him, which makes sense considering how much the world practically revolves around Dethklok guaranteeing high status in this world just by association and people find money and power sexy and he is (or was) canonically the richest and most powerful man on Earth; so indeed people do try to make advances on him but he politely turns them down at every opportunity. I’d also probably imagine at least a few times there have been awkward moments where Dethklok groupies have tried to get close to him (drunk or otherwise) which naturally made him just a smidge uncomfortable if very good at hiding it. So basically for that reason he added a clause to the “backstage audience” agreement that any sexual activity or advancement is restricted only to Dethklok and that attempts on employees or other associates is strictly off-limits. Especially had to since one such photo leak. He does reluctantly let the smutty fan art be sold at Klokakon though since the artists are paying vendor prices to solicit there.

6. Other Random Bull🎸

Aka I’ve covered the basics so the rest of these will be mostly lighter and not tied to anything particularly grand

Another popular one to add: He is the voice of Facebones. My main argument being while I can maybe see why that scene from “Murdering Outside the Box” could be a mistake, at the same time if you think about it logically you’d need the voice actor to do the raffle live as well as the fact that throughout the series it is very convenient that he has videos on short notice for such things as the drum machine to replace Pickles while he’s in rehab and the Dethkones (especially since he was weirdly fixated on that for most of the episode). Initially he only did it because they were still a humble ragtag production and for once it was Dethklok that was busy and he wasn’t. They did try to replace the voice for Facebones once, but it resulted in mass riots in the streets and a few acts of destruction so Offdensen resumed the role rather quickly and structured his schedule in a way that he can record in a way that doesn’t interfere with his other duties. Facebones is a tightly guarded industry secret since he is rather strict about not doing the voice outside of official business (a la Frank Oz) and often they have to take *ahem* “drastic measures” towards anybody who finds out but won’t sign the NDA. Also he keeps a steady supply of water and honey lemon tea because of this and the band doesn’t know why.

If he had an “ancient animal form” I’d imagine it probably be a wolf both because it’s a badass predator of course, but mainly because wolves are considered amongst the best fathers in the animal kingdom due to how super protective and attentive they are of their offspring. Although if Salacia’s bloodline is a factor maybe his true ancient spirit animal is some cosmic abomination that would cause you to claw your eyes out when you see it, who knows?

He secretly watched Dethklok (sans Toki for obvious reasons) throughout Doomstar at a distance both because he could sense that Ishnifus was gonna die and that his ascension to become his successor was upon him but also to attest that they were truly ready and just plain old’ being able to “function” without him. Although even though his suicidal thoughts had been at bay for about fifteen years, he would have sacrificed himself for the Prophecy if he was able to.

His leather jacket outfit is sort of symbolism of the most crucial parts of his relationship to Dethklok: how they first met (or at least the version in my head anyway), his triumphant return in Renovationklok, and finally his departure in Doomstar. Barring how he’s probably gonna come back one last time in the new movie.

He has a bedroom other than his office in Mordhaus, we’ve just never seen it properly since he likes his privacy, and is currently Abigail’s. He also owns a few other smaller properties for the rare moments he has time off from Dethklok (although even he rarely wants to necessarily spend time without them).

He isn’t against the idea of having children, but even ignoring the asexual/possibly aromantic idea (although of course that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible, adoption exists even for single parents) he doesn’t think that it would really work out due to how chained to his work he is (possibly even speaks from experience being part of Gen X aka “the latchkey generation”), and he’s already a father figure to five grown-ass men so his found family is good enough for him.

The Church of Black Klok is a group of monks…that never said they were pacifists though, so I fully expect Charles to go full Alexander Anderson from Hellsing once he dies return!

So ummm that’s it, several days and getting sidetracked by vocational rehabilitation night classes later and I got most of my bases covered, although I might fix any mistakes I left and will maybe add more if requested via reblog. Special thanks to @cloudchaser2000 for suggesting that chef’s kiss title after I previewed the “Napalm Death” thing to them 😂 and otherwise being an awesome mutual.

[space-blue]

Crime Boss Silco and bodyguard Vander? 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Sorry for the delayed reply! For those asks.

Someone (maybe Cal?) was asking for some good age difference in which Vander is the younger one. And it was late and quiet on the server... I started rambling... And no one stopped me.

In it, Vander was a lost 24 yo. He's a hobbyist boxer who graduated as a criminal psychologist, and is currently down in the dumps. He's been struggling to find a job, and then one night at a party he broke a guy's jaw to defend someone. That guy had enough power to ruin his reputation, and now Vander is pretty sure his job search is cooked.

He still helps people in need be though, and that's how he meets Silco. Giving him a hand and getting dragged to a diner for coffee and pancakes.

Silco is sleek, dressed bespoke, and quietly curious about Vander. He teases his story out of him, and eventually offers him a job as a sort of secretary mixed with body guard. When the $$ comes around and Silco drops the numbers, Vander rushes to agree... But Silco is like "Wait. That's what my last guy was paid, but that's because he'd also spend the night with me when needed".

And though he offers Vander less if he doesn't want to, you know... Vander was definitely *interested*. He's very aware he's being recruited in the damned mafia, but Silco is mesmerizing, and the job search is harrowing... So he accepts. Silco takes him to Zaun tower, top floor, and it finally clicks that this guy who loves pirate metaphors is the Eye of Zaun, the famous "industrialist" (and definitely not a mafioso..).

The story then went to the "second part" of the interview... And ended with some shower sex. I was proud enough to have written some (vanilla) smut, that I copied everything in a document to "clean up later" and never got around to do it... Because the story is told, and my brain doesn't care anymore. So it's been squatting on my drive taking the dust! I'll send you the link to the whole thing on discord. Here's a snippet :

Vander's last flickers of doubt melt away as he squeezes in the passenger seat of a sleek jaguar, then out in a private parking lot, then up an elevator, up, up to the top floor of the Zaun tower.

'You… Do you own…?'

'Zaun industries. Yes, that's me.'

Vander walks up to a window, gazing down on the city. Far below people skitter like ants, sad and aimless, just as he'd been. It's already getting to his head, this new reality, that the infamous Eye of Zaun offered him the shadiest job Vander's ever heard of (after pancake and cappuccino, mind).

There's a clink of glasses, a ruffle of clothes, the soft thump of shoes coming off, and a sigh. Vander turns to Silco, curious, and sees him approaching with a glass of amber liquid.

'I feel stupid,' Vander admits, accepting the glass and taking an idle sniff (it's whisky, peaty and smoky, and quite early for it). 'You're about the only celebrity who wears an eye-patch'

Silco smiles and looks pleased with himself. 'I try my best to stick to the shadows. The press is always so full of questions.'

'And those are very unpopular with pirates,' Vander says with a nod, still wildly entertained by the metaphor.

Silco has been called a corsair once, on live television If you go on youtube, type in "Silco destroys journalist", you can watch the whole thing. Vander's never really cared. He's been too busy with his life to mind crooked industrialists with a history of mafia ties and industrial espionage. His hobbies are cooking and boxing, not watching take down videos. Still. Every other year Silco would appear on television, Zaun would be on the news for a while… Everybody knows.

Vander frowns at his glass. 'Whisky?' he asks, no doubt showcasing his sharp intelligence.

'You're fine, it's just past midday,' Silco says with a glance at his watch. 'It's a Laphroaig, if that's your concern.'

'No, I mean… We just had coffee.'

Silco blinks up at him, and there's something that fleets over his features. Vulnerability? Hesitation? A lapse in control and good humour, at least.

Then his mouth hardens in a forced smile. 'Most people wouldn't fuck me sober, Vander.'

Vander is so taken by surprise, it's a miracle Silco can't hear the scratchy noise of his mind's gears coming to an abrupt halt.

'I- what?' He's the one doing the blinking now. 'You paid you last guy ten grands to get drunk to fuck you? Sir? Boss? What do I call you?'

The smile returns, softer now, tentative. 'No, no. Marcus was game for everything. But I guess there's a reason I'd have him in the first place, don't you think?'

Vander frowns, not thinking anything at all. 'I don't get it. You're…' He pushes his glass back into Silco's hand. 'You're not saying there aren't people out there who-'

Silco laughs and cuts him off. 'You're thinking like a poor college student, no offense. I also don't enjoy bedding people who only see me as a catch—political, financial, or otherwise.'

And of course then there's the eyepatch, and the fact that about everyone who's turned on by heavily scared men probably would recognise him right away, instead of drinking coffee with him while talking shit about the bakery on Alm st.

Vander groans. 'All right, so you figured this is your best solution. Still. I'd like to do this… quite sober.'

Silco shrugs, acting nonchalant, but Vander knows better.

'As you please.' He turns around to put the whisky away.

[divineproverbwoman]

Some of my goals

Education:

- Graduate as an A+ student

- Study consistently even for subjects i am naturally good in DONT SETTLE FOR B’s get yourself only A+

- Have prettiest essays and notes every school year

- [ ] Be known as the favorite of all teachers because of your professionalism, discipline and the work you deliver.

- Took all EHBO lessons.{resuscitate someone}

Personality:

- Be kind and understanding to everyone every single day

- Strong emotional intelligence and mental health

- Have a personality that spreads God’s love by being gentle, kind, wise, graceful, poised, soft-spoken, and selfless

- Be most organized, well put together and optimistic person people know

Appearance:

- Become more physically appealing everyday

- Grow glutes

- Grow and thicken lashes and eyebrows w serum

- Nails appointment regularly

- Teeth whitening appointment monthly

- Get koi fish tattoo

- Gain weight

- Grow out my hair even longer

- Dress more modest

- Build muscle everywhere

- Clear skin everywhere

- Get belly and ear piercings

- Master full self love

Skills:

- Learn new languages (Japanese, Chinese, French and Arabic)

- Improve my stamina and endurance

- Get better at dancing and learn other dance styles

- Improve my humor and communication skills

- Have emotional intelligence

- Improve my baking

- Become better at problem solving

- Become good story teller

- Improve my intuition

- Become more organized

- Learn to play the piano

- Improve manners, etiquette and femininity

- Improve handwriting

- Master charm, seduction and mystery

- Improve cooking

- Get better in sports

- Improve my drawing and painting

Career:

- Invest money regularly

- Save allot of money Never be broke

- Earn enough to live a comfortable live not having to worry bout what to eat, wear and where to live

- Become one of best psychologists

- Have my own company (animals, visagiste or psychiatry)

Lifestyle:

- Live more minimalistic and gratefully

- Fix sleeping schedule

- Drink 2L water daily

- Eat more fruit and vegetables

- Heal from all past trauma and find 100% comfort and enjoyment in solitude

- Read books regularly

- Journal and reflect everyday

- Have a self care day weekly

- Eat 3 meals a day

- Don’t use money on useless stuff really only on things that are necessary

Faith:

- Find a good church to visit every Sunday

- Become proverbs 31 woman

- Pray every morning and night

- Get baptized

- Fully release all sins

- Be able to speak in tongues

Random:

- Start my own podcast/youtube

- Write and sell a book

- Sell my own art/crafts

- STEP OUT OF COMFORT ZONE

Family/house:

- Adopt kids

- Encourage my children to be self sufficient, smart, ambitious, kind, generous and always learning

- Have a fountain in garden with birds and butterflies roaming around and Plant my own plants in my garden

- Own gorgeous house in midst of nature

- Own pets

- Own my dream car in big garage

- Have my own farm where i grow my own fruit,vegetables and get my own eggs milk from the animals there

- Support all family financially (also in Cape verde)

- Gorgeous attic in house with amazing view towards the stars with telescope in the midst of the room

Relationship:

- Spoil friends monthly

- All people around me contain a warm positive encouraging energy

- Marry a man that has the same norms and values

Environmental:

- Invest in charity yearly

- Get big social network to improve environmental issues as war, climate changes, child labor, population etc.

- Travel the whole world and mean something in every country

Hygiene:

- Room/house clean 24/7

- Maintain hygiene everyday

- Smell the best (vanilla, shea and coconut)

[loustellaperry]

                                                                                              14 July 2021

              So here I sit, on the porch, under what’s left of hurricane Elsa. Yesterday was pretty rough for me. About two days ago I banged my head on the underside of the dining table due to managing mischief with my husky pup. I have been left with a dusty ocean blue and plum goose egg sized bump on my left temple. I’m almost certain I have a minor concussion, but I might not. The entirety of my head has been aching with pain. I’m extraordinarily tired but at the same time, it hurts to lay my head down? That sounds serious, but I’m most likely being over dramatic. Anyway, I leave to go to an amusement park at 8 am, tomorrow morning.

            On a brighter note, I made a donation to NaNoWriMo. In return, I received a hero’s journal box set donor gift. At the time of donating, I knew was going to be receiving a gift, but I didn’t read much about it nor did I remember there was a gift involved when I received the package. The hardback beautifully illustrated box came with a hardback interactive journal, NaNoWriMo stickers, and a couple of bookmarks. The gift offer is only available while supplies last, so if you were in the mood to donate to a good cause as well as receive an awesome gift set, head over to the NaNoWriMo site, to get yours.

            Speaking of NaNoWriMo, I’ve been taking part in the Camp NaNo program for July. This is the first NaNo event I’ve participated in, and I feel utterly determined to complete the goal. My goal is 5k words, and I have a little over 3k now. So I don’t think I’m doing too bad. My objective was to finish a horror story I had started last summer, practice writing a little bit every day, and work out a traumatic issue that has been weighing on my mind for some time now. It’s been painful, but therapeutic to say the least. Have you ever tried to write with the main intention of therapeutic purposes? The last time I attempted to, I was in twice-a-week therapy and it was my homework (which at the time, wasn’t helpful at all).

            So even though it’s July, I can’t help but to anticipate the fall semester of college. My GPA dropped a few points last semester due to the release of my poetry book. So I’m making it a goal to get it back up again. 

I have a massive announcement relating to college, by the way. I am an studying for my bachelor of arts in English, as well as minoring in creative writing. I’d like to teach literature and writing at the postsecondary level. & of course, I’d like to continue writing poetry and storytelling. BUT since I’ve started university a few years back, I haven’t stopped thinking about my graduate thesis. Annoyingly enough, I have quite a bit of experience with my mental health (good and bad). This started when I was just 17; I’m 24 now. A coping strategy that helped me in some of my darkest hours, was research. I would research parts of the brain, how it worked, what caused certain thoughts and emotions, where depression was in the brain, etc. So it wasn’t surprising when all of my thesis ideas were strongly psychology themed. 

After thinking about it for a few months, speaking with my academic advisors, and talking to my mother, I decided that I also am interested in becoming a research psychologist. Yesterday, I spoke with my university and enrolled in a dual-major program (this is where I have two majors with different degrees). So in the fall I will start my journey towards my bachelor of science in Psychology, and continue my education toward my bachelor of arts in English as well as my minor in creative writing. The feelings are all over the place. I’m equally terrified and thrilled.

            That being said, my primary goals for the upcoming school year are to focus my attention on my studies and maintain this blog. This is something else I’ve extremely enthusiastic about. Although, I’m very proud of my poetry book release, it also took a lot of my time away from this blog. So I’m so excited to get back to writing with passion, sharing witchy things, and making gifs again.

            If you’ve followed me for this long, I wanted to say a massive thank you for your loyalty, patience, and mutual love of writing & witchcraft. I can’t wait to share more prompts and witchy hacks again.

            If you just recently started following me, Welcome! My name’s Loustella Perry but I go by Lucy for short. My pronouns are she/her. I’m bisexual/pansexual (I use a slash, because I came out as bisexual to start, but I technically align with the beliefs of pansexual. But I’m too old to decipher the difference and I don’t feel like re-coming out. So I just use whichever term I feel like, tbh. But know, I can fall in love with any soul. 

I’m a 24-year-old witch, academic, Reiki student, poet, author, dog mum, cat mum, bonsais mum and fiction enthusiast. Some different types of posts you can expect from me are poetry, writing prompts, short-stories/one-shots, witchcraft tips & tricks & problems & solutions & spells & trials & errors & manifestations, mental health updates & coping mechanisms, and of course, your occasional fashion expressing selfie.

To set your mind at ease…

my blog is a place of intersectionality. Everyone is welcomed here regardless of sexuality, race, income, country, religion, spirituality, beliefs, whatever. The only thing I will block you for is hate, discrimination, or sending me dick/vag pics (if I want one, I’ll reach out, okay).

I post about mental health sometimes, so I will always include a trigger warning when necessary. No need to worry about anything too low. You’ll know beforehand if there’s a chance you’ll be triggered.

I take feedback seriously, so if I don’t post a trigger warning (which is rare, I think I over post them tbh), and you are triggered by one of my posts, PLEASE do not hesitate to message me or even comment and say “hey sis, a TW would be nice”. I will be more than happy to insert one. It literally takes no time at all, so it’s never a bother if it’s brought up.

I send free bookmarks out all the time. So if you’d like one, message me. :D

I love messages. Do message me anytime, if you’d like. Don’t worry about bothering me. Please introduce yourself, tell me things about you, update me on your life, vent, share your writing, request a post, or just say hello.

& last but not least my poetry book, Toast, is available as an e-book & paperback on Amazon. 

Here’s a blurb…

Loustella Perry takes the reader through a time-lapse of a decline in mental health, the pressure to give up on dreams, and the resilience built to overcome it. Toast is a collection of poetry about real-life struggles and finding the strength to keep going. The entirety of Toast rhymes, which makes the quest through these extreme lows not as scary.

"I’m writing this book because I’m healing.

Gather around children, don’t be shy.

Let me tell you a story, of extreme lows and a progressive high.

Now I’m writing this book because I’m healing, BEWARE of a few parts.

This book contains depression, grieving, a suicidal attempt, and matters of the heart.”

            Thank you so much for reading this very lengthy post and for the support. If you’ve read Toast or followed me for ages, thank you!! I hope you’re staying well and healthy. Stay tuned for more posts.

Lucy X

[schnitzelbutterfingers]

the forgotten one- chapter 2

A/N: hiya there! here is the second chapter of ‘the forgotten one’! this is also emotional, and angsty, but don’t worry. there will be some fluff in the next chapter. seb and jazmin the mother will arrive at boston. ethan’s still processing the news and he’s afraid. SO afraid. and abby... well you’ll find out!! sorry this took almost two weeks. sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? but i finally completed it!! as always, forgive me if there are any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. lmk if you want to be added or removed from the tags. enjoy!!

summary: Louise Ramsey, the mother of the famous, brilliant diagnostician Ethan Ramsey, is back into his life. However, Louise holds many secrets, dangerous secrets, that could harm him, Dr. Abigail ‘Abby’ Chacko (my MC), and the very few lives he actually cares about. It is up to Ethan, Abby, and their friends to save each other from what is about to come.

pairing(s): dr. ethan ramsey x mc (dr. abigail “abby” chacko)

warning(s):   violence and blood. there might be some fluff along the way, but you get the gist. DON’T READ IF YOU”RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH DEATH, VIOLENCE, and BLOOD.

word count: 3042

masterlist

Seb’s POV

When he saw Amma standing still, a tear tracing her cheek, it practically grieved his heart. He looked elsewhere, when his eyes landed on a picture of him and his baby sister. It was when Seb graduated from John Hopkins University at the age of 24, getting accepted to a residency program in Northwestern Memorial Hospital, where he was working presently. He had a bouquet in his hand, made by his sister. It was swelled with red roses, white calla lilies, and orchids. They were smiling, and Abby was lowering her lips to his cheeks, a gesture in which he adored. Merely looking at it made the running pains flow through his blood, banging at his heart.

Instantaneously, he heard a small thud. He turned around and directly perceived that it was the sound of knees, because he regarded his mother on the ground, sobbing and screaming. Amma suffered from anxiety and depression, something is being treated by Dr. Joah Jehovah, a psychologist. And it took all of his willpower to not imitate her actions. 

Her sister. Stabbed. By some freak. After barely surviving the assassination attempt. He questioned God again and again as to why his baby sister should be punished like that. What did she ever do? She suffered frequently through her childhood, and she suffered just two weeks before, and now... she’s suffering again. Will she be able to endure this? 

No, Seb chastises himself. Don’t think like that. She has survived worse, she’ll survive again.

After comforting Jazmin and blinking back some tears of his own, he forcibly opened his MacBook Pro and breezed through American Airlines, trying to buy the first two tickets to Boston, Massachusetts. This had been their second time flying to Boston this odd year, the first time when Abby was stuck in the contamination room. 

First class seats. Like I would care at this point. They purchased economy seats out of hurry and rushed to the airport. The whole flight, Jazmin was trying to conceal her face with a crimson scarf, not presenting anyone her tears. There were two oblivious people in the front seats, laughing and smiling uncontrollably, and he desperately wanted to yell furiously at them, tell them to stop before he loses his unconscious mind. If it was possible, he would want to shout from the top of his lungs on the airplane. But that’s not fair, even to the two passengers. Because they’re really excited to see Hamilton. How did he know? They’re holding two tickets out in the open, and it wasn’t difficult for Seb to read them. Ah, the benefits of observation.

He was trying to stay strong for his mother, but a few times, he excused himself to the bathroom, where he would shed some tears, hoping, praying, for her angel sister to survive.

They landed in Boston, and when they were getting their luggage from the rack, he only saw her. And Ethan. He had no idea what Ethan was going through.

Seb and his depressed mother are now in a taxi, going to Edenbrook Hospital. The sun’s shining goldenly, a few clouds in the sky, perfect for a picnic date. Ragged tears of nervous sweat are prickling on his head even though the weather is chilly. There is snow, kids making snowmen, snow angels, snow ball fights. It reminded him of Seb’s and Abby’s childhood.

The siblings almost never had the chance to play out in the snow because Abraham and his people would whip them with a belt. Whenever their father is not there though, Amma would sneak them out and they always made the most of their time playing out in the snow. He can still remember their grins and how Abby got her first frostbite for staying outside for five hours. Eventually, Jazmin had to drag their butts back into the houses, where they shared hot cocoa. When snow was falling in her first winter in Boston, she was so excited that she called Seb to let him know. He had a small smile on his face as Abby ranted to him about what she and her roommates will do.  

He can note how Amma was trying to possess a determined face. The ominous silence sounds almost deafening, Seb takes out his phone and dials Ethan’s number. Someone picks up but that someone is not Ethan. It’s Naveen.

“Naveen?! How is Abby?” Seb places the phone on speaker phone, so his mother can hear what Naveen has to say.

“Abby’s surgery was successful. The stab wound affected her liver, but Dr. Tanaka and the surgeons managed to fix it. She is now sleeping in Room 24B.” He paused for a moment. “Are you and Jazmin in Boston?”

“Yes, Naveen. We’re on a taxi heading to the hospital.” 

All the while he can hear himself thanking God, the angels in heaven and all the saints for taking care of his baby angel. Jazmin is spilling joyful tears and sobbing. However, he also wants to know where he is. Where his anxious friend is. He nervously takes a deep breath and questions the senior doctor. 

“...Naveen? Where is Ethan? Harper was the one on the other end the first time. At that time, I knew it was because Ethan didn’t have the strength to talk to me. Abby is alright now. Why is he not talking to me?”

There is dead silence on the other end. The only sounds he can detect are the cars on the other lane and the taxi’s radio playing I Can’t Feel My Face by The Weeknd. Wow, what a great song accompanying my mood, he thinks sarcastically. Ultimately, he hears the chief gathering a deep breath. 

“Come to the hospital immediately. I will tell you what happened.”

“Okay, Naveen. Thank you.” he says as he frantic cut the call.

Seb and Jazmin share a concerned look. As they drove through Edenbrook’s main entrance, he couldn’t help but think. Whatever is happening now, it’s not good. 

________________________________________________________________Ethan’s POV

Relaxation. Ease. Relief. Relief.    

Relief was the word he used when his longtime mentor Naveen survived. Relief was the  word he used when Abby won her hearing, an obstacle that almost stopped her from saving more patients and sufficiently advancing her career. Relief was the word he used when he saw his Rookie again after two months in the Amazon, fighting off a virus with the W.H.O. Relief was the word he used when he felt her head on his shoulder while driving her back to her shared apartment from the dinner with the governor. Relief was the word he used when he had her on the luxury yacht, distracting him from the opulence and Leland Bloom. Relief was the word he used when he passionately kissed her outside of his apartment after the softball game, the first time in a long time. Relief was the word he used when he caressed her with his lips during the Mass Kenmore heist. Relief was the word he used when he announced on national television that he wasn’t single, which somehow, didn’t make him feel anxious. Relief was the word he used when Abby overcame the toxin, which threatened to take the lives of her and Rafael, already killing Danny Cardinal and Bobby Gunderson. Relief was the word he used when they cuddled and clung fondly to each other in the ski resort, blocking the sounds of the wind rattling against the windows, a huge blizzard taking place outside. And now...

Relief was, no, is the word he is using to accurately describe how Ethan feels after his Rookie’s surgery. 

He does not want to undergo that. Ever. Again.

If he ever sees Louise Ramsey in his sight, he will lose it. He will lose it. He will lose. It.

He started believing in that woman again, only to be driven back to square one. She rubbed a huge pack of salt deep into the wound in his heart. In fact, it was Abby who recommended that she should hear Louise out.

*Flashback*

Ethan can’t sleep. He tries to close his eyes, hoping that the next time he unravels them, it will be five a.m. He reveals his eyes again and groans. His clock reads 1:12 a.m.

The radiant moonlight is shining through the windows and onto his satin sheets, the sole source of light in his room.

Ever since his mother came to the ER, admitted in there for an apparent overdose, that was all he could think about. And Abby..

He shut her out. Once again. Thinking about how he slammed the on-call room door in her face made him wince with guilt. He hadn’t sighted her after that. How were they supposed to be in a relationship (are they in one?) if he keeps shutting her out again? He can’t even open up his feelings to her, the one who shared her past, her present, her deepest, darkest secrets...

Ethan instantly decides to contact her.

The phone picks up on the second ring. 

“Ethan? Is everything alright?” Abby sounds awake, not tired at all. He hears papers shuffling on the other side. 

“No, Rookie. I wanted to apologize for the way I acted today.”

There is a long moment of silence. “What are you talking about? What are you apologizing for?”

She sounds genuinely curious and confused, he wants to scoff at her for neglecting what happened. For not being mad at him. For not shutting him out. Just like he did many times.

“I closed the door in your face after you had attempted to console me after Louise came in the ER. It was downright impolite of me, and I am sor-” he is interrupted.

“Ethan, don’t ever be sorry for that. I understood that you needed some space. And besides, I have to admit.. if I was in your shoes, I would have done the same thing.”

She pauses for a moment, and this time he almost hears the sound of her unique heartbeat. “I will never know the pain you suffered during your childhood after knowing that your mother left you. But I do know this. I will always be there for you, Ethan Ramsey. Whether you like it or not.”

His heart swells with genuine emotions and tears starts to burn through his eyes, but he forces to flutter them away, his throat tightening.

“Abby.. I... thank you. That means a lot to me. And, for the record, I’ll always be there for you, Abigail Chacko.” 

Abby laughs wholeheartedly, hearing the words she used back to her, the first pleasant sound of his whole day that makes his stomach flip.

The laughter dies down, and there is silence stretching for a long time. At the last moment, Abby promptly breaks it, a sense of relief flooding through his cells.

“...How are you, really? With everything that’s been going on with your mom, I mean.” Then, there is a painful quietness that seemed acutely uncomfortable. She breaks it again, with a gentle voice. “I’m sorry. I know how painful this situation is, and just wanted to-”

He waves off her apology with one question, a question that had been racking him for a long time. “..What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

“...What do you mean?”

“If you had a similar circumstance where someone who hurt you came back again into your life, in a long time, what would you do?”

The once visible moon is now being hidden by a cloud, showing off a little bit of brightness, as if performing an act of humility as he waits for an answer. After an eternity in what was only a few minutes, she answers.

“I would forgive them.”

Ethan isn’t genuinely shocked to hear this, but it still makes his lips slightly part. He knew Abby’s and Seb’s childhood, which, from what he undoubtedly heard, could have been more painful and terrible than his own. They got beaten up and assaulted almost every day, Seb had told him days after they became friends. So, he decides to ask this one question.

“..Why?”

“..I didn’t say I was gonna forgive them quickly, did I? It takes time for a person to truly forgive someone, and to me.. that’s okay. If they haven’t changed, I will still forgive them, but not immediately, but if they did change and they want to be a different person, then I will forgive them, no matter what they did to me.”

Ethan lets out a sigh he has been containing for a while, instantly recognizing his need for oxygen. If her father came back, as a changed man, would she forgive him? How can she do that? No, the key question is, how will she do that? Before meditating deeper into his thoughts, she disrupts him.

“Is this about your mother, Ethan?”

“..I.. I’ll admit I have been thinking about that. I also have been wondering.. I’m like my mother aren’t I?”

Bewilderment substitutes her gentle voice. “What are you talking about? You’re not like your-”

‘I push everyone away, especially you. Every time when you try to get close to me. That’s exactly what my mom did to me and my dad. She left us without a note. I left you to the Amazon with no reason as to why I did it.”

“Ethan-”

“Tell me, Abby. Tell me that you weren’t hurt by my actions and I will let this topic go.”

Another impressive silence, until he hears some cars honking on the bustling streets of Boston. And he hears her familiar voice on the other side, bringing remorse but an equivalent amount of considerable comfort in him. “..Ethan.. you may have hurt me. A lot. I’ll admit that. But you are not your mother, do you understand that?

Ethan tries to swallow a small lump in his throat. “You’ve changed. From pushing me away to letting me in. I am honored to be a part of your life in this way. And, to answer another question of yours, in my opinion, I think she really wants to change. For Mr. Ramsey and for you.”

His throat tightens again as he hears her speak once more. “It takes a lot of courage for someone to visit their family after 25 years. Maybe she does really want to change. But I’m not making any options for you. This is your choice and yours only.”

She still aids him, even though he shut her out today. She still cherishes him, even though What did I do to deserve her? he thinks.

“Ethan? Are you there?” he hears her troubled voice. He speaks to alleviate her worry.

“...Thank you.  For this, I mean. For always being there for me when I need you.”

She sighs contentedly . “Ethan, I told you once before, and I’ll tell this again, until you get it in your head. I’ll. Always. Be. There. For. You. Whether you like it. Or not.”

*Back to present*

“Ethan?” He hears a familiar voice from down the hallway. Seb. Next to him is what he presumes to be Jazmin. Their eyes are pinkish, cheeks blushed and streaked with tears.

How is he going to talk to them? How is he going to talk to Seb, the one most beloved friend that he has, cares for and trusts? How is he going to talk to Jazmin? Even though they hadn’t really seen each other before, they usually communicated on the phone a lot, and she seems to be the dear mother he never had until now. And he.. he failed them.

Seb speaks up first, looking at him straight in the eye. “We know everything, Ethan. We know.”

Ethan stands there. Not moving. His face looks deathly pale as he looks at him and his mother. They.. know? But ho-

“Did Naveen have anything to do with that?” Ethan replied angrily.

The successful surgeon sighs profoundly. “Yes, he told us. But before you say anything, just hear us out, okay?”

Ethan speaks low, in a terrifying voice that makes interns want to get away from him. He cuts Seb out before he states anything. “..I’m sorry. I apologize. I really am sorry. I can’t believe that woman really put her through this, and it almost seems unbelievable. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have started to trust Louise again. And I promise you that when I get that witch in my hands, I will-”

Jazmin instantly ceases him with a raise of her hand. “Son, do you think we’re mad at you?” 

The attending’s eyebrows draw together as confusion overtakes his senses. They’re not enraged at me?

She chuckles slowly, as if sensing uncertainty. “To answer to your lack of certainty, I’m not mad. I’ll never be mad at you. you are not your mother. You are not Louise Ramsey, do you understand me, young man?”

Emotions. Sentiments. They’re flying around him as she announces these words. Suddenly he recalls the similar words his Rookie said.

But you are not your mother, do you understand that?

“I..”

Seb scores him off. “Ethan, stop blaming yourself for something you didn’t do. You never made a mistake and we know you love our Angel as much as we love her.”

“I... I love her, don’t I?”

His best friend snickers. “Took you long enough.” 

Next to him, Jazmin is sending the doctor a goofy smile.

Suddenly, the moment of ease was interrupted gently by Caspian, a male nurse.

“Abigail Chacko?”

Ethan almost passed out from hearing her name. To not make the moment more awkward, Seb responds for him. “We’re here for her.”

“Abby is conscious and is asking for Dr. Ramsey.”

_______________________________________________________________

Mystery Man’s POV

I walk outside of the ‘prestigious’ hospital. No one minds me. They’re absolutely that stupid, aren’t they?

Louise calls me. “I escaped. Now tell me, what should I do next for our plan to be a success?”

I respond cautiously to her with ease. “Our secret spot. I’m on my way there. Meet me at 5 A.M. Sharp.”

Louise chuckles wickedly. “Marrying you does have its perks.”

I smile wickedly. “It indeed does.” Right away, I cut the call.

________________________________________________________________

A/N 2: any idea who the mystery man is? hint: it’s not alan.

A/N 3: sorry for the cliffhanger!! i promise you that you’ll know more soon.

tags: @missmiimiie @aylamwrites @starrystarrytrouble @udishaman @caseyvalentineramsey @queencarb @choicesstan1 @newcolonies @arcticrivers @angela8756 @takemyopenheart @rookie-ramsey @ohchoices​ @ohvamsey @ohramsey @natureblooms24 @drariellevalentine @openheartfanfics

[queentargary3n]

blessings

SasuSaku month 2020 Day 17 

Reincarnation AU  - Police Officer Sasuke AU

There isn’t a single day of his life that Uchiha Sasuke isn’t thankful for his life. For his mother’s gentle smile and kind nature, for his father’s silent praises, for his brother’s company and support. He’s even grateful for his loud mouthed, blond, best friend, who annoys him most of the time, but has his back when he needs it the most. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve such great people in his life.

At 24, having graduated college, and finished training in the police academy, he sets up for a bright career as a police officer and hopes to make detective before he is 30.

So, he goes to work every day, knowing he is making a change. Watching over the people he grew up with, protecting his beloved town, and actually doing something about the crime that has begun to infest it.

Sasuke knows his life is good, he was born in a good family, went to a top tier university, he never lacked for anything. He knows that having his family, being able to afford his own place, buy a new car, and work in something he actually likes is a luxury many don’t actually have.

But even as he counts his blessings every day, he can’t escape the feeling that he is missing something. Like there is a hole inside of him, he can’t seem to fill with anything.

He doesn’t remember when his nightmares started, perhaps he’s always had them. Sometimes it’s the bloody corpses of his parents that terrorize him during the night, the sadness of his brother’s eyes, as he looks at him from afar, eyes shining red and spinning unnaturally. Other nights it’s a white-faced man, with snake-like features that hunts him, forcing him to drink potions that taste horrible and burn down his throat, telling him that they will make him stronger. On other nights he dreams of facing gigantic humanoid creatures, dead bodies littering the ground he steps on.

But some nights, he dreams of pink cherry blossom hair and green eyes. The spring girl, as he calls her, cries behind him, begging him not to leave, or stands in front of him as one of his hands reaches for her neck and the other holds lightning, readying to electrocute her, he assumes.

Not every dream is violent with the spring girl, sometimes it’s just him and her. She hugs him or holds his hand as they look over magnificent vistas he’s never actually seen in real life. Sometimes they are children, sometimes they are grown, sometimes he taps his fingers to a strange diamond tattoo on her forehead and she blushes. Sometimes he kisses her and makes love to her. He wakes up to a feeling of sadness and tears rolling down his eyes. He doesn’t know who the girl with the cherry blossom hair is, or why is she a constant in his dreams, but the dreams bring him to tears he’s not one to usually shed. He can never shake the feeling that there is someone out there in the world, waiting for him.

On the day of his annual mental evaluation he is very concerned. He always seems to be expecting something to happen. Someone to attack him or his family. He has so much fear over losing it all, it causes him anxiety and panic attacks in the most unexpected times. He’s afraid the new department psychologist will find out and deemed him unfit for service.

It’s unnerving, feeling this way, because in reality what does he even know about pain? He’s never seen blood; he’s never even had to fire his gun on the job, what could possibly be the explanation for his nightmares? He wonders.

Itachi, who’s on the department of youth and family services, always tells him that is not how mental illnesses work, his anxiety has nothing to do with how good his life is or how lucky he is, and that he should never dismiss his own struggles or be comparing his suffering to others.

Sasuke understands but doesn’t actually believe it.

“I think you should be honest with the psychologist” He tells Sasuke, even if they take you off duty Itachi thinks, but he leaves it unsaid.

“I’m not going to tell her anything she doesn’t ask me… It’s not like having bad dreams makes me unfit for work” Sasuke responds.

“Maybe you should go see my psychic” Izumi chirps in from the doorway to Itachi’s office. “I wasn’t eavesdropping I promise! I was just coming to take my boyfriend out to lunch and I just happen to overhear”

Sasuke only glares at her, he doesn’t like anyone meddling in this, it feels too personal to share with his soon-to-be-but-not-quite-yet-sister-in-law. Itachi gives him an apologetic look on her behalf but says nothing.

“Still those dreams huh? She has really interesting ideas about those! Do you believe in reincarnation?” She asks him.

“That you believe all that craps she sells you, tells me so much, you’re crazy for starters” Sasuke tells her, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“No but hear me out!” Izumi tells him, ignoring his previous comment. “Like, our dreams don’t just make things up, right? You have to have seen those things somewhere, like that girl you keep dreaming about, you met her somewhere, your brain didn’t just invent her, but the circumstances you dream her in don’t match your life, right? Maybe you met in another life! And my psychic can tell you all about that!” she looks in her massive handbag and produces a presentation card that Sasuke takes, out of politeness, but doesn’t bother to look at.

Sasuke doesn’t even believe in that sort of thing, his beliefs always been on the more secular side of things, but even if there is a remote chance he might have lived another life before, where he saw wars, and monsters, and his parents death, he sure as hell doesn’t want to know about it.

So, he goes about his day, entirely forgetting the non-sense Izumi was blabbing on about. He goes to lunch with Naruto, ramen again unsurprisingly, makes a visit to a home for a noise complaint, files his paperwork, and tries to go home early for a change.

He attempted to postpone his psych evaluation as much as he could, that is, until his father, the head of the police department catches him on his way out, and orders him to medical immediately so he can get it over with.

“Go on, you know its protocol, she’s there now” His father chastises.

Sasuke is irritated to no end, but he still obediently makes his way to the new psychologist’s office in the back of the building.

Just keep it simple, don’t elaborate, it’ll be fine, he thinks to himself.

The door to the psychologist’s office is open, so Sasuke stands in the entrance and knocks on the door to announce his arrival. The space is completely littered with boxes and mountains of papers, stacked on top of another and covering the desk in its entirety, so much so that he can’t even see the person seating behind it.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m new, I’m still getting everything settled! Are you here for an eval? Did I get your file? Where are my files!? What’s your name?” She says in a rapid succession.

He stays quiet, so she can gather herself, and takes a seat in front of her crowded desk, and it isn’t until she moves the two gigantic boxes of documents in front of them that he is able to see her.

He sits complete frozen, utterly speechless upon setting eyes on her. Because the person seating in front of him now, is unbelievably and irrevocably the Spring girl.

The shiny pink hair, wide emerald colored eyes and a blushing face he’d never mistake for anyone else’s are facing him now, with a look of surprise on it.

And he is sure his face mirrors hers, especially since the next thing she says to him, is an almost whispered, “Sasuke-kun….”

“I can’t believe this…” She mumbles and looks like she’s about to jump on him, but the look on his face stops her. “Do you… am… do you know who I am?” She asks, a hint of hope sparkling in her eyes.

“The new psychologist… about to perform my yearly eval?…” He responds, unsure of himself.

He can see the deflated expression and disappointment spreading thought her. “Right… I haven’t seen your file… ahem sorry… I think we are going to have to postpone this… maybe someone else can do your evaluations tomorrow, I apologize” She tells him, in a more composed and professional tone.

She stands and grabs a small purse from one of the drawers and tries to make a quick exit.

Sasuke stares at her unable to say anything. He observes every detail he can about her, every slender curve of her body, the way her neat short hair hangs on her delicate neck, and he is suddenly overcome with the image of her, wearing a red tunic instead of the sensible suit, a red and white fan crest in the center of her back.

His hand moves almost of its own accord and grabs her tiny wrist to prevent her from leaving, and she turns to look at him, green eyes wide and full of emotions he’s not able to understand.

“I know you from somewhere” He says, in a statement not a question.

“Do you?  I don’t think so, sorry” She responds and tries to shake his hold on her wrist.

“You said you hadn’t seen my file; how did you know my name?” Sasuke asks her, in the demanding voice she remembers so well.

“I… just… ahem… I don’t….”

“What are you hiding?”

“Do you remember something… anything… about me?” She asks, the adorable blush from earlier spreading through her face again.

Sasuke isn’t sure what she means, but now that she’s facing him, he becomes completely lost in her eyes, his instincts screaming at him to hold her, and never let go. “Who are you?” He asks. Because saying, yeah, I remember you from a dream sounds entirely too stupid to mention.

The moment feels as if suspended from time, the atmosphere too suffocating, he’s afraid of even closing his eyes, sure that the moment he reopens them, she’d be gone like every dream he’s ever had.

“My name is Sakura” she says, and her name sounds like music to his ears. “This is going to sound really strange, and possibly unprofessional, but do you want to go get a drink?” She says, biting her lower lip and taking a strand of hair behind her ear nervously.

He only nods his head yes and releases her hand. “Just… how do I know you?” He whispers.

She giggles in response, her face more assertive than before. “It’s a long story Sasuke-kun… maybe… I’ll tell you later” She says, poking his forehead with two fingers before grabbing his hand and pulling him to follow.

He doesn’t know anything about the strange girl with the cherry blossom pink hair other than her name, still he would follow her anywhere. He can’t help but to feel his blessings are finally complete.

[akkermans]

( madelyn cline / cis woman ) PHILIPPA ‘PIP’ AKKERMANS is 22 years old and is a JUNIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in JOURNALISM and is known for being THE DESPONDENT as SHE can be CURIOUS and INSIGHTFUL as well as SELF-PUNISHING and MOODY. every time i see HER, SHE reminds me of SMOKE RISING FROM A CIGARETTE, THE CRUNCH OF LEAVES UNDERFOOT, INCOHERENT SCRIBBLINGS IN A NOTEBOOK.

hi hello hi i’m hero, i’m 22, she/they and i live in the est tz! i’m a recentish graduate who likes horror, my cat, and a damn fine cup of coffee!! i’m so excited to be here w/ pip!! if u wld like to plot, give this a like or hmu on my discord @ ‘garlic bed #3345′!!

full name: philippa ‘pip’ akkermans 

birthdate: june 24, 1998 

age: 22 

gender: cisgender woman 

pronouns: she/her 

zodiac: cancer 

nationality: dutch-american 

ethnicity: white

hometown: utrecht, the netherlands

languages: dutch, german, english 

family: 

julian akkermans, father 

lotte de vries, stepmother

amelia akkermans, mother (deceased)

sophie akkermans, twin sister (deceased)

orientation: bisexual biromantic 

religion: atheist (formerly catholic) 

height: 5 ft 6 in 

distinguishing features: thin scar from crown of head to right eyebrow, eyes, lips 

character inspo: theo crain, alaska young, shane and ryan from buzzfeed unsolved, camille preaker

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

TRIGGERS: death, car accident, alcohol and drug use, mental illness (depression, ptsd)

born in utrecht, the netherlands to a dutch father and american mother, pip akkermans’ life has been marked with tragedy since she was born. it seems to follow her. she was born five minutes before her twin sister, sophie, but as the two girls took their first breath, their mother took her last, leaving julian akkermans a single father. 

growing up without a mother, pip and sophie found solace in each other, forming a bond akin to many twins, one so close, so dependent, it was like they were in their own little bubble. sophie was always the bright one, the one who walked into a room and immediately lit it up. pip was always the quieter of the two, her energy more dour, more withdrawn. but together they were a team, causing trouble left and right, getting out of it with sophie’s sweet smile. 

their father was never the same after their mother died, but the coldness that possessed julian was all they’ve ever known. often times he was out of the house, unable to properly step up in the role of father to girls that were the spitting image of his lost love and the sole reason she’s gone. he drank. a lot. but he was never violent, simply sad. 

he starts going out a lot, and eventually, brings home a woman that he says is going to become their step mother. a wedding quickly ensues. there’s a meanness in her, a clear disdain for the twins. but they don’t care, they don’t need to. they have each other. they’ll always have each other. 

they’re fourteen and visiting amsterdam for the weekend when their car is hit head on by another, there’s enough momentum to flip them twice. the driver and pip are fine, minor injuries, but sophie passes away before anyone arrives, her hand in her sister’s as she takes her last breath. 

pip is distraught, and for obvious reasons, she’s lost the better part of herself, even though she promised she wouldn’t go away. if her dad is heartbroken, he doesn’t show it. he simply continues to pull away. eventually sending pip to live with her aunt in america, rhode island to be specific. 

she doesn’t exactly adjust well, not only is she still reeling from the death of her sister, but she’s experiencing intense feelings of detachment and nightmares of sophie every night, among other symptoms. her aunt eventually takes her to a psychologist, where she’s eventually diagnosed with depression and ptsd. 

thus begins her long journey into managing her mental health, her aunt showing a surprising amount of support. she wishes on some level, that she had always grown up with her, that her father sent them away when they were children, maybe she wouldn’t feel so alone. maybe sophie would still be here. 

for the first year in america, she doesn’t quite have friends, because she prefers her usual solitude. but eventually, she finds her group of friends, within her soccer team, her clubs, anything to get her mind off of her old life. 

she tries to be normal, she really does, but she knows something is off– she feels empty, all the time, and her medication makes her feel like a zombie. eventually she falls into a crowd that is prone to partying, drinking, smoking. she’s sneaking out most nights to join them at their spot. 

her senior year, she spins out, has a very public breakdown, that ends up leading to her taking a leave of absence from school, and essentially once again, returning to pariah status. 

she does manage to graduate and get into thales university, by sheer force and extracurriculars, where she begins majoring in journalism, because it’s always been something she’s interested in, having been a part of her school’s newspaper before, well, everything. 

she meets nana in one of their gen eds, and they hit it off immediately. they’re practically inseparable for a few years, until there’s an incident of pip being caught in a compromising position with one of nana’s flings at the time (it wasn’t what it looked like) and before she has a chance to explain, they’re no longer speaking.

 nana goes missing a few weeks afterwards, and the emptiness comes back, feeling guilty as if it was her fault. as if everything that has happened has been a result of knowing pip and her general trail of misery. she was going to apologize, too. she just never got the chance. 

now with the death of steven, her curiosity is piqued, her journalistic instinct triggered by the mystery afoot, and focusing on that means she doesn’t have to think about herself, because by god, she does not want to think about herself. 

TL;DR: pip and her twin sister, sophie, are born in utrecht, the netherlands– their mother dies when they’re born. their father withdraws, eventually remarrying a bitter woman. when pip and sophie are 14, they’re involved in an accident that takes sophie’s life, and leaves pip alone, a bit traumatized. she moves to america to live with her maternal aunt, and goes to high school there, until she essentially has a breakdown her senior year. she meets nana her first year of thales, and they’re inseparable until a misunderstanding a month or two before she disappeared. now with steven’s death, she’s using her journalism skills to investigate it all. 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

between the melancholy is a very bright girl. she’s always been rather inquisitive and observant, the quieter one of the akkermans twins. as she grows older, learns to live without her sister, learns to live alone, she grows into her own voice. she becomes someone unafraid to speak her mind, simply because she has nothing left to lose. she’s a bit dry, a bit sarcastic, and her humor can border morbid on occasion because she’s gotta laugh or else she’ll cry. she has a bit of trouble sticking her nose in places it shouldn’t be. she’s rather loyal, but it takes a lot for her to trust you– she trusted nana, and look where that got her. that being said, she has long bouts of depression, and detachment, which she’s been trying to manage for years now, but still, in the quiet moments, there’s a feeling the girl is rather– haunted. 

𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒

she has pretty good investigative skills! she works on the newspaper at the school, so she’s kind of all over the place

explores a lot, likes to wander because it clears her head, though it also means she’ll probably enter places she’s not usually allowed (i.e. abandoned buildings, etc.) 

also a soccer player! she’s played soccer for a good amount of her life, except her senior year of high school when she withdrew, she’s debating quitting the team here though 

has a slight dutch accent, it’s noticeable mostly on specific words 

disaster bi….. disaster bisexual…. usually stumbles into relationships and they never last due to her own shortcomings 

can’t drive fr shit never learned how, fr some… obvious reasons, has some anxiety getting 

has a few tattoos! her first and favorite was two butterflies on her wrist for sophie 

has two piercings in each ear, a daith piercing in her right, and a upper cartilege piercing on her left

doesn’t really talk about her sister, however, claims she sees her/feels her sometimes 

a skeptical believer of ghosts and spirits, mostly likes the stories that comes with her 

speaks to her father once every two years, their relationship is nonexistent 

likes to have a beer every so often but doesn’t exactly party, if u do see her at parties she’s prob lounging on a couch chatting with someone who’s name she’ll never remember 

lived on campus for the first two years but this year got her own apartment, has an esa, a two year old scottish fold named noodle 

has an extensive collection of sweaters and cardigans

kind of an old lady……. just learning about tiktok now

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

partner in crime – the ryan to her shane, the trixie to her katya, maybe they’re not the best of friends but they get into a LOT of trouble together

the reason nana and her stopped talking – pretty much nana walked in on a situation and misread it entirely and her drama loving ass cut pip off until her disappearance

friends 

former friends – pip pulls away a lot, she is the undoer in a lot of relationships… or maybe it was your muse…. 

roommates (2-3) – new girl-esque shenanigans to be had!

newspaper coworkers 

soccer teammates 

someone she’s been helping with a case

fwb (f/m/nb) – girl has got needs, and doesn’t always like to be alone so

exes (f/m/nb) – prob broke up because pip’s inability to ever truly connect to other’s… haha! or it could be on good terms, and they’re pals now

crush (f/m/nb) – either way, reciprocated or unreciprocated, but it’s weird and you’re both kinda hot?

people she has Hooked Up w/ and now it’s awkard (f/m/nb) 

rivals, but are we? 

only likes her because her cat – noodle rights, babey!

‘she accidentally stole your coffee order once, but hey, she’s pretty cool’ – prob bought u a new one after she drank a bit of it…. now you see each other around fondly

‘she stuck her nose in your business for the Scoop’

hate-to-love friendship – i want to k*ll you to hey you’re pretty alright but don’t tell anybody i said that

‘you sent her an anonymous tip, but she accidentally figured out it was you’ 

someone who gets her out of her shell – takes her to parties! out with friends! 

anything in my wanted tag!

[things2mustdo]

By Hara Estroff Marano published March 1, 2007 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016

HEM : Why do you believe that adolescence is an artificial extension of childhood?

RE : In every mammalian species, immediately upon reaching puberty, animals function as adults, often having offspring. We call our offspring "children" well past puberty. The trend started a hundred years ago and now extends childhood well into the 20s. The age at which Americans reach adulthood is increasing—30 is the new 20—and most Americans now believe a person isn't an adult until age 26.

The whole culture collaborates in artificially extending childhood, primarily through the school system and restrictions on labor. The two systems evolved together in the late 19th-century; the advocates of compulsory-education laws also pushed for child-labor laws, restricting the ways young people could work, in part to protect them from the abuses of the new factories. The juvenile justice system came into being at the same time. All of these systems isolate teens from adults, often in problematic ways.

Our current education system was created in the late 1800s and early 1900s, and was modeled after the new factories of the industrial revolution. Public schools, set up to supply the factories with a skilled labor force, crammed education into a relatively small number of years. We have tried to pack more and more in while extending schooling up to age 24 or 25, for some segments of the population. In general, such an approach still reflects factory thinking—get your education now and get it efficiently, in classrooms in lockstep fashion. Unfortunately, most people learn in those classrooms to hate education for the rest of their lives.

The factory system doesn't work in the modern world, because two years after graduation, whatever you learned is out of date. We need education spread over a lifetime, not jammed into the early years—except for such basics as reading, writing, and perhaps citizenship. Past puberty, education needs to be combined in interesting and creative ways with work. The factory school system no longer makes sense.

What are some likely consequences of extending one's childhood?

Imagine what it would feel like—or think back to what it felt like—when your body and mind are telling you you're an adult while the adults around you keep insisting you're a child. This infantilization makes many young people angry or depressed, with their distress carrying over into their families and contributing to our high divorce rate. It's hard to keep a marriage together when there is constant conflict with teens.

We have completely isolated young people from adults and created a peer culture. We stick them in school and keep them from working in any meaningful way, and if they do something wrong we put them in a pen with other "children." In most nonindustrialized societies, young people are integrated into adult society as soon as they are capable, and there is no sign of teen turmoil. Many cultures do not even have a term for adolescence. But we not only created this stage of life: We declared it inevitable. In 1904, American psychologist G. Stanley Hall said it was programmed by evolution. He was wrong.

How is adolescent behavior shaped by societal strictures?

One effect is the creation of a new segment of society just waiting to consume, especially if given money to spend. There are now massive industries—music, clothing, makeup—that revolve around this artificial segment of society and keep it going, with teens spending upward of $200 billion a year almost entirely on trivia.

Ironically, because minors have only limited property rights, they don't have complete control over what they have bought. Think how bizarre that is. If you, as an adult, spend money and bring home a toy, it's your toy and no one can take it away from you. But with a 14-year-old, it's not really his or her toy. Young people can't own things, can't sign contracts, and they can't do anything meaningful without parental permission—permission that can be withdrawn at any time. They can't marry, can't have sex, can't legally drink. The list goes on. They are restricted and infantilized to an extraordinary extent.

In recent surveys I've found that American teens are subjected to more than 10 times as many restrictions as mainstream adults, twice as many restrictions as active-duty U.S. Marines, and even twice as many as incarcerated felons. Psychologist Diane Dumas and I also found a correlation between infantilization and psychological dysfunction. The more young people are infantilized, the more psychopathology they show.

What's more, since 1960, restrictions on teens have been accelerating. Young people are restricted in ways no adult would be—for example, in some states they are prohibited from entering tanning salons or getting tattoos.

You believe in the inherent competence of teens. What's your evidence?

Dumas and I worked out what makes an adult an adult. We came up with 14 areas of competency—such as interpersonal skills, handling responsibility, leadership—and administered tests to adults and teens in several cities around the country. We found that teens were as competent or nearly as competent as adults in all 14 areas. But when adults estimate how teens will score, their estimates are dramatically below what the teens actually score.

Other long-standing data show that teens are at least as competent as adults. IQ is a quotient that indicates where you stand relative to other people your age; that stays stable. But raw scores of intelligence peak around age 14-15 and shrink thereafter. Scores on virtually all tests of memory peak between ages 13 and 15. Perceptual abilities all peak at that age. Brain size peaks at 14. Incidental memory—what you remember by accident, and not due to mnemonics—is remarkably good in early to mid teens and practically nonexistent by the '50s and '60s.

If teens are so competent, why do they not show it?

What teens do is a small fraction of what they are capable of doing. If you mistreat or restrict them, performance suffers and is extremely misleading. The teens put before us as examples by, say, the music industry tend to be highly incompetent. Teens encourage each other to perform incompetently. One of the anthems of modern pop, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, is all about how we need to behave like we're stupid.

Teens in America are in touch with their peers on average 65 hours a week, compared to about four hours a week in preindustrial cultures. In this country, teens learn virtually everything they know from other teens, who are in turn highly influenced by certain aggressive industries. This makes no sense. Teens should be learning from the people they are about to become. When young people exit the education system and are dumped into the real world, which is not the world of Britney Spears, they have no idea what's going on and have to spend considerable time figuring it out.

There are at least 20 million young people between 13 and 17, and if they are as competent as I think they are, we are just throwing them away.

Do you believe that young people are capable of maintaining long-term relationships and capable of moral reasoning?

Everyone who has looked at the issue has found that teens can experience the love that adults experience. The only difference is that they change partners more, because they are warehoused together, told it's puppy love and not real, and are unable to marry without permission. The assumption is they are not capable. But many distinguished couples today—Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, George and Barbara Bush—married young and have very successful long-term relationships.

According to census data, the divorce rate of males marrying in their teens is lower than that of males marrying in their 20s. Overall the divorce rate of people marrying in their teens is a little higher. Does that mean we should prohibit them from marrying? That's absurd. We should aim to reverse that, telling young people the truth: that they are capable of creating long-term stable relationships. They might fail—but adults do every day, too.

The "friends with benefits" phenomenon is a by-product of isolating adolescents, warehousing them together, and delivering messages that they are incapable of long-term relationships. Obviously they have strong sexual urges and act on them in ways that are irresponsible. We can change that by letting them know they are capable of having more than a hookup.

Studies show that we reach the highest levels of moral reasoning while we're still in our teens. Those capabilities parallel higher-order cognitive reasoning abilities, which peak fairly early. Across the board, teens are far more capable than we think they are.

What's the worst part of the current way we treat teens?

The adversarial relationship between parents and offspring is terrible; it hurts both parents and young people. It tears some people to shreds; they don't understand why it is happening and can't get out of it. They don't realize they are caught in a machine that's driving them apart from their offspring—and it's unnecessary.

What can be done?

I believe that young people should have more options—the option to work, marry, own property, sign contracts, start businesses, make decisions about health care and abortions, live on their own—every right, privilege, or responsibility an adult has. I advocate a competency-based system that focuses on the abilities of the individual. For some it will mean more time in school combined with work, for others it will mean that at age 13 or 15 they can set up an Internet business. Others will enter the workforce and become some sort of apprentice. The exploitative factories are long gone; competent young people deserve the chance to compete where it counts, and many will surprise us.

It's a simple matter to develop competency tests to determine what rights a young person should be given, just as we now have competency tests for driving. When you offer significant rights for passing such a test, it's highly motivating; people who can't pass a high-school history test will never give up trying to pass the written test at the DMV, and they'll virtually always succeed. We need to offer a variety of tests, including a comprehensive test to allow someone to become emancipated without the need for court action. When we dangle significant rewards in front of our young people—including the right to be treated like an adult—many will set aside the trivia of teen culture and work hard to join the adult world.

Are you saying that teens should have more freedom?

No, they already have too much freedom—they are free to spend, to be disrespectful, to stay out all night, to have sex and take drugs. But they're not free to join the adult world, and that's what needs to change.

Unfortunately, the current systems are so entrenched that parents can do little to counter infantilization. No one parent can confer property rights, even though they would be highly motivating. Too often, giving children more responsibility translates into giving them household chores, which just causes more tension and conflict. We have to think beyond chores to meaningful responsibility—responsibility tied to significant rights.

With a competency-based system in place, our focus will start to change. We'll become more conscious of the remarkable things teens can do rather than on culture-driven misbehavior. With luck, we might even be able to abolish adolescence.

The Adolescent Squeeze

Before 1850, laws restricting the behavior of teens were few and far between. Compulsory education laws evolved in tandem with laws restricting labor by young people. Beginning in 1960, the number of laws infantilizing adolescents accelerated dramatically. You may have had a paper route when you were 12, but your children can't.

1600s

1641 Massachusetts law prohibits people under 16 from "smiting" their parents

1800s

1836 Massachusetts passes first law requiring minimal schooling for people under 15 working in factories

1848 Pennsylvania sets 12 as minimum work age for some jobs

1852 Massachusetts passes first universal compulsory education law in U.S., requires three months of schooling for all young people ages 8-14

1880s Some states pass laws restricting various behaviors by young people: smoking, singing on the streets, prostitution, "incorrigible" behavior

1881 American Federation of Labor calls on states to ban people under 14 from working

1898 World's first juvenile court established in Illinois—constitutional rights of minors effectively taken away

1900s

1903 Illinois requires school attendance and restricts youth labor

1918 All states have compulsory education laws in place

1933 First federal law restricting drinking by young people

1936 & 1938 First successful federal laws restricting labor by young people, establishing 16 and 18 as minimum ages for work; still in effect

1940 Most states have laws in place restricting driving by people under 16

1968 Supreme Court upholds states' right to prohibit sale of obscene materials to minors

1968 Movie rating system established to restrict young people from certain films

1970s Supreme Court upholds laws restricting young women's right to abortion

1970s Dramatic increase in involuntary electroshock therapy (ECT) of teens

1980s Many cities and states pass laws restricting teens' access to arcades and other places of amusement; Supreme Court upholds such laws in 1989

1980s Courts uphold states' right to prohibit sale of lottery tickets to minors

1980 to 1998 Rate of involuntary commitment of minors to mental institutions increases 300-400 percent

1984 First national law effectively raising drinking age to 21

1988 Supreme Court denies freedom of press to school newspapers

1989 Missouri court upholds schools' right to prohibit dancing

1989 Court rules school in Florida can ban salacious works by Chaucer and Aristophanes

1990s Curfew laws for young people sweep cities and states

1990s Dramatic increase in use of security systems in schools

1992 Federal law prohibits sale of tobacco products to minors

1997 New federal law makes easier involuntary commitment of teens

2000s

2000+ New laws restricting minors' rights to get tattoos, piercings, and to enter tanning salons spread through U.S.

2000+ Tougher driving laws sweeping through states: full driving rights obtained gradually over a period of years

2000+ Dramatic increase in zero-tolerance laws in schools, resulting in suspensions or dismissals for throwing spitballs, making gun gestures with hand, etc.

2000+ New procedures and laws making it easier to prosecute minors as adults

Currently spreading nationwide:

New rules prohibiting cell phones in schools or use of cell phones by minors while driving

Libraries and schools block access to Internet material by minors

New dress code rules in schools

New rules restricting wearing of potentially offensive clothing or accessories in schools

New laws prohibiting teens from attending parties where alcohol is served (even if they're not drinking)

New laws restricting teens' access to shopping malls

Tracking devices routinely installed in cell phones and cars of teens

New availability of home drug tests for teens

New laws prohibiting minors from driving with any alcohol in bloodstream (zero-tolerance)

Proposals for longer school days, longer school year, and addition of grades 13 and 14 to school curriculum under discussion

[dokjaism]

I know there's protest in Chile but what are they protesting for?

it's... a lot so i'm gonna make a bulleted list. also i'm gonna give prices in chilean money

it all started bc the fare to public transport was raised and it was already too expensive, if you only took it twice a day from home to work & from work to home, it was like $1.900

public health is disgusting. a lot of people have died waiting to go through a needed surgery or waiting just to go to the doctor to get a diagnosis

now talking about health let's go to mental health. chile has the highest ranks in suicides from latin america if i'm not mistake, basically because if u can't go to a private psychiatrist and psychologist, in the public service you get an appointment once a month

meds are expensive af, like in those pharmacy chains the meds are like $90.000, $70.000, $50.000 each, like the cheapest one isnt less than $5.000 in one of those pharmacies

now that we're in money talk. pensions are DISGUSTING, old people receive no more than $300.000 to live a MONTH. remember when i said meds are expensive af? okay most of their money go to the meds and to pay all of the bills

i said they don't get more than $300.000 a month right? that doesn't mean all of them get the same amount, some get less than $150.000 and some even less than $90.000, and thats for a WHOLE MONTH

now moving on to the minimum wage. the minimum wage is like $301.000 again, a month, now that may seem like good money for only one person, but that wage is usually for people with a family of three-four or more. now u may think its possible to live with that. but it isnt, remember what i said about public transport and meds?? now if u want to get to a doctor, u must go to the private area or u might get an appointment in a year or more

now move on to education. in the first 12 years you have 4 options: technical ones, public, private and subsidized private. public and subsidized private have the worse education, i say this as i graduated from a subsidized one and i can tell u, the education there was SHITTY. now u might think, go to a private one!!!! private ones are over $100.000 a month

now moving to superior education. if you don't go to a private one or you don't get enough preparation for the entrance exam called PSU, the possibilities of entering uni are close to none, now u may think what about a scholarship? yea u can get a scholarship only IF the uni youre going is subscribed to the prof organization, but that only works if u got into an uni at all and it all depends if u got enough points to get into what u wanted or not

to the people going into uni, like me, most 20 years old are already in debt because most universities cost over $2.000.000 and most people don't have that amount of money to pay it monthly? i think. i may be privileged because my stepfather is willing to pay for that and even tho he gets well payed, that still isnt enough so i had to get into debt either way

the most rich people in here are the 1% of chile's population and according to the OCDE chile is the country with most inequality when it comes to money

with this being said:

the army and the police get way more privileges than the average people. if they have kids their kids receive other privileges, they dont have to go to public health, they get money until they turn like 24. the army and the police don't have to go with the usual AFP system that is the only system average people can use for their pensions

ex-presidents receive MONEY for being ex-presidents even if their govt ended

people in politics have a wage for at least $9.000.000

people that play football or are in the tv receive over $1.000.000 as wage. idk how much exactly

water is owned by private companies

now let's not forget about the kids. when a kid goes through domestic violence in any way, they're usually sent to the SENAME and all of chile knows, it's better if the kid STAYS in the violent environment of their house than going to the sename because it's WAY worse

so yeah, it's a lot and we got tired of all of that, even tho it's a long list i feel like i forgot smth so i'm gonna add the chile tag to see if anyone wants to add smth more