#And I don't really feel like a man? But there's something to being less of a man

[lixiesbrowniess]

WHAT'S WRONG OLD MAN?

Warnings: MDNI, NSFW, SMUT, sexual content, blowjob, p n v, unprotected sex, rough sex, virginity loss, MAJOR SIZE KINK, deepthroating, soldier boy's in his 60s so its around 1980s, you called him a grandpa... I guess he proved you wrong.

| Jensen Masterlist |

One shot: Soldier Boy x Actress!Reader

Synopsis: You're starred in a new music video with non other than Soldier Boy. He's technically in his 60s, but damn was he fine as hell. You're in your 20s but the director still chose to give you the sluttiest role you've ever played with a man that literally could've been your grandpa. Yes. You play hard to get, won't last long buuut.

WAS LISTENING TO THIS WHILE WRITING THE SMUT PART PLS I WAS WHEEZING AT SOME POINT LIKE YES I'D BANG WITH HIM.

"Cuuut." the director shouted running towards you while you immediately tear yourself away from Soldier Boy's crotch with an annoyed frown, the director walked towards you looking somehow upset, about to scold you cause for the third time in a row you weren't drooling enough onto Soldier Boy's crotch or not being slutty enough.

You rolled your eyes, as expected the director was scolding you again. And grabbing your wrist and tossing you around "You might be the youngest but thay doesn't make you less of a slut!" The director was shouting in your face. You yanked your wrist back making the older man flinch "Not my fault I don't want to rub myself against a fucking grandpa." You bite back harshly.

You didn't say that out loud, did you? You didn't, right?

You feel your blood running cold watching the director's face going pale looking at you. No. Not quite at you. Behind you. You didn't need to turn around to know he was behind you. And you swear you could feel his blood boil. The scent of whiskey and musk had your head spinning.

You act like you didn't notice, in an instant you excuse yourself to your dressing room, who was surprisingly big, btw. You could feel his eyes on you, following your smaller figure, wrapped in that tight as shit dress that barely covered anything.

You slam the door closed and curse to yourself, letting your body fall onto the sofa and closing your eyes. That was damn close. You could sense he was about to pounce on you. Probably to choke you to death or something. But how could an old man like him look so hot gross. You meant gross.

He had a fucking erection on set and didn't even bother to hide it. He looked even proud of it. And having it against your cheek in front of a camera really didn't made your day. You were lost in your thoughts and you didn't hear the footsteps walking towards your closed door. And you completely forgot to lock it.

You jumped on your seat, yelping at the sound of the door slamming shut, your eyes wide as they focus on the man standing in the centre of the room. Soldier motherfucking Boy was right there towering over you. That sure was intimidating, but so arousing at the same time.

Probably the whole set knew what was gonna happen the instant they saw him walking towards your room. Your throat felt dry. You kept on swallowing, but nothing worked; you opened your mouth to speak, but not a single sound came out of it.

He eyed you up and down. You probably were gripping your dress so hard your knuckles went white. He was still in his suit, but the helmet was gone, letting his wild, brown hair fell onto his forehead. "Cat, got your tongue?" His raspy voice blessed your ears as you shifted in your seat, shaking your head.

"You were so bold a couple of minutes ago. What'd you say again?" He walked closer, his tall figure hovering over yours. "Ah yes. You called me a grandpa." His voice lower as he now was mere inches from you. You kept looking away, trying not to focus onto his visible bulge, which was literally in front of your face.

You swallowed again, clearing your throat "Y-yeah I didn't mean it for real..." You stammered, focusing onto the floor now. Noticing his boots on each side of your little heels. You felt your legs weak. You don't think you could stand right now.

He raised an eyebrow, watching your smaller figure squirm in silence under his gaze. His rough hand grasp your chin sharply, turning it up to make you look up at him "You lie to me again imma fucking slam you to the wall understood?" He was pissed you could sense it. His gaze was harsh as he tightened his grip onto your face, squeezing your cheeks not so lightly.

You groan, knowing they'll leave a bruise. But the way he was looking down at you made a spark spread in your eyes. He must've noticed cause he smirked as he let go of your face. You massaged your poor cheeks, a tingling sensation where his fingers squeezed.

"I see what you are. You think I didn't notice the amount of times you look my way during every single break?" His hands get to work unzipping the costume letting his hard cock slap against his stomach. "Undressing me with those doll eyes." You weren't even listening at that point. Your head was dizzy with his heavy scent.

Your eyes fixated onto his erection, cock standing proud and leaking precum, angry tip almost begging for you to kiss on it. "Little whore, I knew I wasn't wrong about you." He chuckled to himself, his hand slid back onto your chin eyes roaming over your body.

"Suck."

You were brought back to reality hearing his request. No. It wasn't a request. It was an order. You didn't have much of a choice. But unlike your facade, you were for sure willing to do so. He stroked himself a couple of times while your brain was processing what was happening. He 'kindly' held his dick to your face, tip brushing onto your lips, leaving them glossy.

"C'mon, open up, sugar" he slightly presses onto the back of your head. You parted your lips, feeling him pushing himself into your mouth slowly but without any warning. He sighs in satisfaction while you find yourself holding to his thighs and choking onto his cock.

He looked down at you smiling "Oh I know that bratty mouth of yours can do better than this." You gasp, your throat was clenching around him as he pushed your head further, slowly and carefully. You let your jaw slack trying to accommodate his girth, tongue flattened as he shoved your head all the way to his crotch.

You fought your gag reflex as he bottomed out. Part of his lenght slid down your throat. Your nose brushed against his groin. "Oh fuck, that's right." He sighs throwing his head back. Tears prickled the sides of your eyes as he didn't even bother to move he just held you there. You tried to breathe through your nose, barely achieving the purpose.

He looked down at you, his hand onto your nape holding you still while you started to try and back away. "Not so cocky now, are we?" He held your hair in an arranged ponytail slowly, pulling you backwards, allowing you to take a breath before slamming his cock back into your warm cavern. Slowly thrusting to make sure you took him whole every single time.

Once he had enough he pulled your head away letting his cock slip out of your throat. You cough and suck in all the air you can, chest heaving with every breath. A string of saliva connected your lips to his tip, and you shamelessly groaned the view. His cock now glistening with your saliva, shimmering. You kind of missed the feeling of it down your throat already.

"Get up." Your legs moved on their own as you immediately stood in front of him. The authority in his voice makes you soak your panties even more than they already were. You desperately rubbed your thighs together. He lifted your chin, wiping the drip of saliva laying onto the corner of your lips. "So obedient when no one else is watching, huh? A fucking slut for me." He chuckles pushing his thumb past your lips.

You suck at his finger as if it was his cock, eyes fluttering slightly before he pulls his hand away. Soldier Boy pulls you flush against his body, you felt his hard cock against your stomach. He smiles, seeing the cock-drunk glance you gave him.

You yelp suddenly as he landed a slap onto your ass, the tingling feeling spreading as you were sure it was red all over. "Turn around, sweetheart." You face the couch now feeling his hand onto your back, lifting your dress slightly, before he decided to just rip it off.

Your arm moved to cover your breasts in reflex, which made him smirk wider. "How old did you say you were?" His voice deep and agaist the shell of your ear "22 sir." You manage to blurt out. He laughs, a rumble into his chest. "I could indeed be your grandfather." He lowly growled, his hand closes around your throat as you gasp.

"See? You're such a good girl, all wet and ready for me." He chuckles as his fingers play with the hem of your soaked panties before pulling them down. He positions a hand onto your back, pushing you forward, your hands stopping you from falling. You hold yourself up leaning to the headboard of the sofa.

He slightly kicked your legs, spreading them more. A blush spreading across your face as both his hands were onto your ass cheeks, spreading them, to allow himself to admire your glistening cunt, while you clenched under his gaze only. "Now, would you look at that." He groans at the sight. "Your pussy is begging me to split you in half"

You groaned, feeling his fingers ghost around your core and onto your clit. You buck your hips backwards, following his touch, which he quickly denies you. Teasing you and leaving you clenching around nothing "Such a needy whore" he murmurs smirking to himself before landing a firm slap onto your other ass cheek.

You squeal at the sudden tingling pain. His hand immediately rubs circles onto the red spot. You close your fists, squeezing the couch headboard. "What's wrong, old man? Can't find where to sink your cock into?" The words are full of need, you didn't even realize you've said them. You feel another spank, only this time it's directly onto your cunt making you cry out at the force, legs shivering.

He pushes your head onto the cushions, having your ass perfectly up in the air. He leans in, reaching close to your neck, his hard cock pressed against your thighs. "Oh darlin, I know exactly where to hit, don't you test me." He growls, getting back up and blowing onto your redden and swollen cunt. You hold back a moan as he does. He then grips your hips up and pulls them closer, he lines his cock up to your leaking hole, not wasting another instant he pushes inside you, barely half of it entering you.

He groans, feeling ur tightness, making it difficult to move, his hands rubbing your sides as he keeps pushing. "C'mon darlin relax, what are you a virgin?" He jokes, but as he can't manage to push further while you tense around him, and your little cries, he tilts your head back to face him. Your teary eyes meet his green irises. "Shit, you really are a virgin." He whispers, his hand slides between your legs as he leans over your back.

His fingers start to rub your clit causing your body to flinch against him, his other hand holding your hip against him. He kisses your neck and starts sucking onto your tender flesh. Your eyes flutter at the unexpected pleasure. As you finally start to loosen up around his cock, he starts to push inside you without stopping his moves onto your bud. His girth splitting you open, it felt so good, your cries slowly becoming shameless moans of his name.

He bottomed out, forming a bump onto your womb, your hand stroking it slightly. Your eyes roll back as he starts moving in and out of your soaked cunt, you moan loudly as his hips slam flush against yours. Your moans get whiny timing with his thrusts. He groans feeling your cunt clenching around him.

"Literal mentally a whore physically a virgin huh?" He chuckles holding your hips while you push back to meet his vigorous thrusts as your whimpers filled his ears. He kept his steady rhythm against your, making your body jolt forward every time his hips slammed against yours.

You felt heat pooling into your core as your cunt fluttered around his cock, you tightly gripped to the couch, burying your face into the cushion, your moans becoming high pitched "Ben I'm－" You feel your orgasm approaching quickly as he rolled his hips, his cock bruising your cervix deliciously.

"Yeah babe, cum for me, let go." With that you felt your overwhelming climax, you cum soaking his cock. He grunts, slamming against you as your velvety walls clench around him "F-fuck" You stutter as he keeps his hips snapping into yours, hitting deeper sliding with ease thanks to your juices.

Your moans become louder, the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room while he grunts and groans against your skin "Fuck you're so damn tight." He groans as his thrusts start getting sloppy, you can feel his cock throbbing inside you. You feel yourself cumming again as he buries himself balls deep into you shifting a little upwards, the bulge forming onto your tummy. He finally feels his own orgasm approaching.

He pushes himself even deeper, bulging out onto your lower belly. After driving himself into you a couple more times he cums shooting thick ropes, painting your walls white, filling you to the brim "Oh fuck yes" he lowly grunts before pulling out watching your body tremble before falling onto the couch. He grinned at his nice work, having you full with his cum, some of it leaking out of your cunt.

He tucks himself back into the suit in a hurry. Much to your surprise, he's still pretty hard. He reaches to your body, you yelp as he picks you up, throwing you on his shoulder, spanking your tender flesh, he slowly walks out, frightening the director who was about to knock onto your door.

Your cunt on full view while he walked out. "S-Soldier Boy, we might need to do some more takes of the last sce-" the director started "No that's wrap. Send it away. I'll see you tomorrow." Soldier Boy interrupted him, walking towards his trailer with you hanging from his shoulder.

"Got more important things to do so piss off."

[genderqueerdykes]

Hi, love your work

I'm a trans girl, and I have something I'd like your help with.

I don't have any of the common sense that I would get from the life experience of being raised as a girl

I'm worried that I'll end up in a dangerous situation because I was oblivious to the risks.

thank you! thanks for stopping by, that's actually a really great thing to ask about! you definitely want to know what you're possibly getting into when it comes to other people treating you. you want to know what to expect and that's good! women have it hard and people can be very invasive

i was raised/socialized as a girl/woman before i transitioned so i can give a bit of insight, since i've been there too. these are just a few tips, it's not a comprehensive list, nor is it in any particular order. just some things to keep in mind!

Safety & General Advice Tips for Trans Women:

First and foremost, try to not let too much of this stress get to you at once. At the end of the day, womanhood can be an extremely varied experience, so your mileage will vary with a lot of these. Try not to get too wrapped up in feeling paranoid of strangers if possible, while there are strangers who can potentially want to hurt you, there are also those who are minding their own business or even support you. It's definitely okay to have your guard up, but it may affect your mental health greatly if you are starting to feel endangered by most people around you.

It's good to be informed, alert and aware, but if it starts getting to a point where the way you feel about strangers is making your quality of life worse, it may be a good idea to take the time to focus on yourself and those who love you to remind you that womanhood isn't always miserable, even though it can feel like it at times. There will still be good moments, whether you're by yourself or with friends, that you can cherish to help alleviate some of the pain that cisheteronormative patriarchy can cause.

You may notice after you come out to others that they start talking down to you, condescending to you, doubting your emotions and experiences, downplaying your struggles, or even being rude and mean about things they weren't that way about before. People have a lot of internalized misogyny and tend to compulsively begin treating a woman or someone they perceive to be a woman like they're incapable of thinking for themselves. This is really common, so if this starts happening to you, try not to let it get to you. You're not too dumb to think for yourself.

People may start to doubt your capability at your job, if you are employed. You may notice a huge shift in respect and how your customers and clients treat you, especially if you work in a male dominated field. People may ask to talk to your cis man/cis man passing coworkers instead of you and it's okay to get angry about this. You may get paid less than your cishet man/cishet man passing coworkers as well and it's okay to be angry about this, too.

Come out slowly so you can adjust and gauge how the people in your life will treat you. When coming out at first, stick to very close friends and family members you have a good relationship with. You can take this as slow or as quickly as you want. But when you're first coming out and unsure of yourself, you don't have to overwhelm yourself by telling the entire world right out of the gates if you don't want to. You can take it at your own pace.

It's up to you whether or not you want to pass as a woman, either in your personal or public life. If you don't want to pass or just don't want to try, that's okay. If passing is vital to your mental health and how you want to be seen, that's also okay. You're allowed to decide how you present and appear. Keeping your safety in mind is also super important, so if you feel the stress of trying to pass as a woman would be too much or even dangerous for you to do so, it's okay to not try to pass. You're also allowed to "look trans," too.

Makeup can and does change how peoples' faces look drastically, so you may find that makeup can help you pass for safety or personal reasons. Even something as simple as eyeliner and mascara can change the way one's face looks. Highlighter & contour used on the cheeks, nose and brow can very much transform one's appearance, and if you have very visible stubble, you can utilize foundation and other products to help mask it when in public or around other people you need to pass for safety or personal reasons.

Most strangers in public generally think that long hair = woman. There are men and other people regardless of gender who wear their hair long, but for passing, safety, or personal reasons, long hair can drastically change how strangers see you.

Layers, flowy and loose fitting clothing help mask certain traits of the body, so if you feel insecure about how strangers perceive certain parts of your body, you may be able to obscure it from strangers' view by wearing a few layers or loose fitting clothes.

You may want to avoid taking long walks in dark places at night alone if possible. It is very much true that it can be unsafe to be out late at night- this can be regardless of your gender- but as a feminine person or woman, there is a genuine risk of being out late at night without someone else around, or being inside of a car. This is a little stereotypical to say, but it is a genuine danger.

If you're out in public and ever feel like someone is stalking or following you and you're alone, pull out your cell phone if you have one and pretend to take a phone call. Talk into your phone like you're speaking to another person, and if necessary, actually call someone else. Generally speaking, someone who wants to cause harm will not want there to be witnesses, especially not someone who can hear what's happening directly and can come over to the scene or call for emergency assistance. Put your best friends, family members and other emergency contacts on speed dial or favorite contacts if your phone has that kind of feature to make it even quicker and easier.

When meeting someone from a dating app, social media or other place online for the first time, do so in a public setting like a restaurant or other busy area where there are a lot of other people nearby to prevent potentially dangerous behaviors. Try to avoid meeting up with someone for the first time at your home when and where possible. Try to avoid giving out your exact location or address before you have interacted with someone in person.

Being in groups in public can drastically increase your safety levels, especially if those people are willing to stand up for you. It's also hard for people to get a close read on you if you are with a lot of other people. The more there are of you, the better.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to carry self defense tools just in case. That won't make you a violent person, looking out for your safety is crucial. It's okay to prepare for this kind of thing.

You may find that people suddenly start being needlessly sexual toward you, or sexualize your womanhood without you telling them you enjoy that kind of thing first. People may shift their view on how they feel about you and become aggressively sexual. You are not obligated to accept that if it makes you uncomfortable.

You may find that people start to doubt your physical strength and capability for no real reason.

Trans chasers do exist, though they're not every person who's attracted to trans women. Chasers will usually focus very hard on the things that make you "non passing" to them, to the point where it makes you feel very uncomfortable because you no longer feel as though you are being viewed as a person, but rather, a sexual object that fascinates them. They may also use hurtful slurs and humiliating language toward you without your consent.

I know people say this a lot but it's true, public bathrooms can be dangerous, so it's best to stay cautious when entering one. Wear a face mask if possible inside to help people mind their own business. Avoid conversation if possible. Looking nervous may draw some attention, so keeping a cool head and focusing on the task at hand can help in some situations.

You do not have to feel ashamed of your voice, but if you're noticing people getting caught up on your voice, you can do some vocal training, or choose to speak in shorter, more concise sentences and utilize body language around those people, or both. You don't have to completely silence yourself as you deserve to speak up for yourself, but using more body language may help you have an easier time with strangers who are or may become caught up on how your voice sounds. There are all kinds if women with deep voices, but some people do focus on this.

Women's support groups and spaces can potentially be very welcoming, or very hostile depending on the people involved. There are women's spaces who accept trans women, but there are also those who do not. Try not to feel too bad on yourself if you find these spaces do not accept you, because it says nothing about you and everything about that space.

It's good to have friends, lovers and family who are also women, but cis women in particular are not always inherently safe to be around and can harm you. If you feel like the cis women around you are hurting you, you're allowed to say that they are. Cis women can be great allies and friends, but they are not inherently safer to be around than any other gender. You do not have to tell yourself they are not hurting you because women can't hurt each other. You do not have to convince yourself the pain isn't real because women are incapable of harming others. If you feel as though the cis women in your life are treating you badly, it's okay to talk about it and validate yourself in that you can genuinely be harmed by cis women and you do not have to downplay any of that pain whatsoever.

If you notice a lot of these things happening to you, It's more than okay to be angry at the shitty behaviors people may start showing you as a trans woman. It's okay to feel anger towards those actions and how people look down on women. It's okay to express your pain. It's okay to express worry and concern. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not know what to do at first or in certain situations. It's okay to take a while to adjust to how people are treating you if it changes. As long as one doesn't direct that anger at people who haven't hurt them, there is nothing wrong with any of this.

now you may have a totally different experience depending on the people around you. there's no way to know exactly how people will treat you after coming out, so take things step by step, day by day. for your own mental health, try not to let yourself get too caught up in these things. it's great that you want to look out for potential danger! it's a very real issue, but your mental health is also super important and if you find that all you can think about is being in danger, you definitely deserve to find ways to alleviate that stress. take care of yourself when and where possible to make the experience more enjoyable.

tailor your experience in your home and personal life as much as you can to your liking. being out in public can be dangerous and scary, but you do deserve to be out somewhere, even if it's when it's just you alone in your room, talking to your friends. women, especially trans women, can be in a lot of potential danger at all times, but don't let yourself get consumed by fear all the time, as you deserve quality of life and you deserve to feel proud and euphoric about being a trans girl. you deserve validation and kindness. you deserve to feel good about yourself as a trans girl at some point, you don't have to go without that because cishet patriarchal society can be dangerous and hard.

i hope you find this even remotely helpful, i may not have been as informative as i'd like to be, but take care of yourself, okay? it's very good to want to learn the risks of what can potentially happen in society and being a woman in public. others are more than welcome to pitch in as well, please do so if you have tips & suggestions for this anon! take care for now, be good to yourself and remember that there's nothing wrong with being a woman, especially a trans woman. the people who don't like you don't define you: you do. you don't have to listen to them. they don't know who you really are.

[rametarin]

It's more socially acceptable to be touched when it's unwanted by a woman, unfortunately. Be it a slap to the face, or other. It's one of those trusts and privileges that the different sexes receive based on our animal drives and then rationalized based on how you can't punish women for womening in culture. So, some crimes go unpunished, because it's socially unacceptable to punish women for what they do without making the rest of them feel insecure it could happen to them, too.

So naturally for a long time, women only considered it sexual assault or unwanted sexual touching when it came from a man, because of the whole syonymousness with sex involving opposite-sex relations and risk of pregnancy. No balls, no meat log, "no danger."

But if you remove the animal instincts from the equation and live entirely in the concept of equality irrespective of the necessity of biology and empiricism from the equation, suddenly it becomes rape and sexual assault if a woman does it to another woman, without the necessity of having a dick for it to be rape. And if you don't add an asterisk like, * "But she's a girl so it isn't rape or sexual assault really" to slap their hands, then suddenly those statistics shoot WAY up to nearly half.

When I was a kid, radical feminists were very keen on deliberately cooking the books and cherrypicking on the subject of rape, and then using these supposed facts about how men were just biological and cultural rape machines. But they were the ones that antagonized and lobbied and bullied by threatening to smear organizations and groups in office and civic society about how corrupt and male chauvinist and white supremacist society was, if they didn't get through their legislation that declared rape to be something only male bodied people could do, stopping JUST SHORT of saying it's only rape if it happens to women because they couldn't swing that and get away with it without blowback. But, it was implied heavily.

So the image they presented was all these rapes happening per year coincidentally by men (cherry picked so it was only rape if a biological dick was involved, exempting strapons or prosthetic devices) and then suggesting even close to half of all men were rapists at least once in their life. Then attaching that supposed fact to an infexible platform where if you rejected it, it meant you were rejecting other, less damning, more plausible "equality" positions of feminism. And you weren't allowed to do that without being declared a danger to girls for being anti-feminist (like being declared a Gamer Gator, or a Tech Bro, today.)

Tumblr has been fantastic for those little moments of radfems unironically posting these "facts" like this, and the moment hanging in the air long enough for people to actually spit out facts that many gatherings never had in the 80s and 90s conveniently at that water cooler.

[gyaruhana]

Hai since you aren't taking actual fic requests right now and only headcanons I wanted to ask if you also do those rankings? If you haven't seen basically people ask a question like 'who would be the biggest gentleman in a relationship' and the person who asks either gives a few characters for the writer to rank and write a few sentences or let the writer choose which characters they think fit best

But yeah I've basically have been seeing this a lot recently and had to think of you and your blog because I think I'd be something nice and short to write when you don't wanna do hc's/fic's and could help with potential writers block !

And if you plan on doing that then here would be your first ranking request !! :3

So out of Thanos, gwi-nam and niragi who would be the most freaky and rough in bed?

(btw I know this is long and I hope this wasn't a bother to you, I just ramble a lot about things I'm interested in and I just love your blog and everything you've written so far and I hope you continue <33)

im in love with this ranking system thingy uhm oh em gee ?!?!?!?!

i will absolutely be ranking now it's such a cute concept😭😭

below is my personal ranking.. (also thank you for liking my writing it always makes me so nervous when people compliment me..)

No.3: Choi Su-Bong/Thanos (Squid Game)

Thanos is rough, yes. He likes choking you, he likes making you cry - not to mention he really enjoys edging you for as long as possible to watch your face contort in slight pain as you beg him to let you cum.

However, I'd argue he's not entirely the type to force you into anything if it makes you super uncomfortable. The only exception for this is when he's high and not really mentally present but most of the time he doesn't push you too far over the limit.

Of course, don't mistake this for me saying he's not rough! He totally is. But, compared to the others I'm ranking, he's def less extreme..

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No.2: Yoon Gwi-Nam (All Of Us Are Dead)

This is pretty self-explanatory.. we've seen plenty of scenes with him and he does NOT play.

Again, he also likes seeing you cry and choking you and blah blah blah but he's more freaky than Thanos which is why he's number two on my ranking.

He's ONLY degrading. There's nothing nice about this man. Maybe he would've pretended to be a little nice but he drops all that when he's fucking you honestly.

However, he's still only no.2 because while, yes, he isn't above being violent toward you and man handling you - he's not quite as bad as who i put as no.1

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No.1: Suguru Niragi (Alice In Borderland)

No.1 for a reason.

He's the roughest and the freakiest best believe it !! He really doesn't bother playing nice whatsoever. If he sees you and he likes you, he'll just claim you without a care in the world.

Just really kinky in my opinion!!

prolly into gun play, knife play - anything incredibly violent sorry not sorry. I mean.. we all know the typa guy he is so..

i'd argue he views you ENTIRELY as a doll for his pleasure. Not anything more honestly.

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CONCLUSION: First time ranking and I may have made it a little fancy set up bc i got excited at this concept..

But, yes - Niragi is No.1 on this list. I feel like he's just a real kinky and rough asshole. Although, I do totally see Gwinam being similar to Niragi in the future when he reaches PEAK dickhead-ness.

My king Thanos is only No.3 bc he's not totally mean at heart i feel.. he's just really rough when he's high but I don't think he'd be the same level of rough as Gwinam and Niragi.

anyway, hope my ranking was good !!

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(thank you sm for this idea i need more holy moly..)

[weirdthinkingdragon]

Stay Close

Slight yandere Dan Heng x reader

warnings: a bit of awkwardness? Slight fluff

Yandere Dan Heng using his Lunae form to keep a "dragon lover" reader close to him. You being from a world they're nonexistent to now seeing one that shouldn't be possible when you joined the express.

Like a moth drawn to a flame the first time you saw it you were beyond fascinated to the point everyone could tell. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to question him about it feeling it would be disrespectful since he seems so avoidant of talking about it after just a few questions you tried to ask him.

That also lead you to feel unbelievably awkward around him for a while since you've already talked about your love of dragons to the express... If you knew then you would have never said a word. How were you supposed to know there was a draconic type of human??

That lead you to research in the archives a lot to make sure there isn't anything else you should know about before it was too late.

With time things got back to normal and you started to drift away from Dan Heng. He's a guy who likes his space. Why bother him when you have Trailblazer and March to bother? Plus you're pretty sure you learned everything you wanted to know by then and your visits became less and less often.

Little did you know at that point Dan Heng didn't really like that. He grew rather used to your previous frequent presence in the archives.

What he really didn't like is when you got separated on visiting another planet. That alone wouldn't have been so bad if the person you were with trying to help the world didn't try to stab you in the back. Literally. He saw it happen and nearly lost his cool. He threw his spear just in the nick of time and punctured the person's leg, causing them to stop and scream in pain.

Obviously that startled you to turn around and see them running up and what happened.

After that there was a shift in his actions with you. Almost always in the same room especially if no one else was. Another thing you noticed was him more often in his other form. Man you want to touch his tai- no. Bad. That's weird.

It's like a train wreck no matter how hard you try to stop looking, you can't.

He knows you want to touch it. It's not hard to tell. Quite frankly, it's the opposite. It's to the point you don't even have to say it. But that's what he wants. He's willing to show this part to you alone just to keep you near if he has to. He knows you don't think he sees you looking while he's reading.

"You can try touching it, if you want."

You're shocked for a good minute, then apprehensive. You wonder if he only is saying that because your looking is pressuring him so you can stop, or maybe another bad reason you don't want to try to think about. "...Are you sure?"

Aeons, please just do already! This is more of a delicate situation though. If he wasn't as level-headed he'd have already impulsively pulled you to him with his tail and made you stay close as much as possible. "if I wasn't, I wouldn't have offered."

You cave and carefully do. It wasn't what you were expecting. it was more smooth, airy to the touch, and rather cool. Not cold, but definitely not warm either. Maybe airy wasn't the right word? Felt more like water itself but a bit more solid. So like soft ice and not nearly as cold.

You didn't want to stop touching it but didn't want to push your luck. That alone was enough for you to be happy with.

But it didn't stop there. More frequently you'd go to the archives again and he kept offering. Eventually one day he pulled you to his lap and rested his head on you while you held it. He wrapped his arms around you as well and let a mental sigh of relief. He's glad it's this way now.

This is where you belong with him. Whatever happens or comes for him, he cannot leave the express anymore. Not with you. Not with something as great as this.

He's never been more glad to have his other form than now. If it helps make you stay close, well then he might just have to start staying in this form more often. Even if around other people too.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Dude I am absolutely in love with your techno fics. You and Clean liens are keeping my sanity in tact and not crashing out. Anyways, give me your top 3 tropes with techno please!

You're so real for that, Techno-centric fic is what keeps me going too <3

UGH, picking a favorite trope with Techno is like picking a favorite child, it's so hard. I'll name three I really enjoy, but honestly it's just scratching the surface and I'm probably forgetting other tropes I love an equal amount.

One: Hiding an injury/illness. This trope is one of my favorite in general for any fandom but it definitely fits perfectly with a character like Technoblade. I love when a character either is too stubborn to admit they're sick or hurt, don't feel like they're deserving of being cared for, simply are awkward about it because they never had people care for them before, or are used to pushing their own health aside for others (like in a combat scenario where they'd prefer to focus on a hurt friend even if the friend's injury is not as bad as their own) - all of those arguably apply to Techno. Bonus points for combining it with a dramatic or inopportune reveal like ignoring the injury until he faints or something. Very tasty.

Two: 'Just a guy' Techno or 'odd one out' Techno. This one arguably is more AU focused but I think my fic history can attest I'm a big fan of fics where Techno is just a guy. Especially if he isn't necessarily less badass than he is in canon. With 'odd one out' I mean content where Techno is like, a different species than the others. I'm a big fan of human!Techno on the origins server or any AU where Techno is human but sbi isn't (human!techno with alien SBI, vampire SBI, fae SBI, etc). Or sometimes he's the only nonhuman, that's fun too (siren!Techno au my beloved)! Or where he's like, the only commoner while SBI is royalty, or a civilian/hero when the others are villains. That vibe basically. There are a lot of different ways you can play with this trope AND it lends itself especially well for dark SBI which is like, my favorite subgenre of Techno fic lmao.

Three: disabled!Techno. Bit of a self-indulgent one ofc because I love projecting onto my blorbo. But also it just makes sense to me in dsmp canon like, it seems unlikely somebody could have gone through all the stuff Techno goes through and not have it leave some permanent marks. I enjoy giving him chronic pain, migraines, maybe amputated fingers. For bunnyblade there's the obvious leg amputation too. But you can get creative for AUs or just for fun. Seizures because of the anvil!!! Put that man in a wheelchair!!! Again, lots of options.

[obscureother]

i rolled the f/o wheel so we're doing inkubus next. -v-

old man slasher demon for those who need the warning. his name is literally "Inkubus," for further note on him. .

What do your f/o's hugs feel like? very tight and protective. . he wont let anyone else keep me from him 👉🏻 👈🏻 but he can be gentle, holds with one arm under his coat sometimes or both arms keep me close to him. .

What are your favorite dates to have with them? i like when he shows me secrets in the dark spooky places :0 he can be very fancy and cool sometimes with money he poofs into existence with his demon magic (cos man does not have a job. his existence IS his job.) but i mostly just like going through the darkness with him. .

What are their favorite dates to have with you? i think he also likes those very one on one, private wander-through-the-dark nights. . there's nothing else to keep our attention off each other like dinner or some event (although he doesnt mind going to those either), so he gets to absorb all the attention he gets basked in lol. it is also very intimate, in a way, that isnt something he is used to doing with others.

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you? i have a couple of them, but one that is more of a comfort song between us is Mr. Kitty "After Dark." I think it is mostly the noise of the song, but the lyrics some too. i forgot to do it on the last one, but i dont really know if i could guess songs they have for me. . i dont normally think of the reverse of these types of questions cos idk how f/o always perceives me lol. he does tease sometimes about how i pout referencing Jazmin Bean "Puppy Pound" because he's heard me listen to it, although he doesnt treat me like the supposed person being "sung to" in that song (he has a superiority complex but he doesnt treat me like nothing lol)

What's the height difference between you and your f/o? he is tall 😳 he's 6'0. Going from the middle height between me and s/i 1 who are only a couple inches apart, he is roughly. . 8 inches taller, i think. . not including horns in his demon form.

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you? it is hard to say. . he does not normally do things in public deliberately (not that he's against it, he just. . doesnt really do that more or less commonly.) unless he feels the need to like someone is trying to get s/i 1's attention that he does not like for them to have, to which he will 100% 10/10 do something about it even if it is only some kind of semi-slow kiss before muttering something like "we need to keep going, my dear. tell the man goodbye. :)" ya he's a jealous f/o. . dont mind him. jshflks-

What's your favorite feature about your f/o? mmmmbbb demon form :)) i like his horns. GOAT MAN, GOAT MAN- i do like his goat lap :0 and his lil goatee. .

What do you think they smell like? he gets the colognes he knows are sort of. . night time, "come close to me," warm or vintage smells. . theyre probably fancy old ones. .

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love. if he is tender in. . any way. that is love from him. he is not known for being gentle or caring. one would even say it is the polar opposite of what he is normally. but when he silently helps take care of you or something for you, that is him not wanting to admit that he does care and consider your comfort or needs or convenience but he does things for you anyway. fixing your shirt, helping you get out of bed, making sure youre fed or that youre not hurt somehow. . he does not ask people those things or do them for just everybody. you must remember that he is normally a terrible demon who manipulates people for nothing but his own amusement or use. he does not normally say "i love you," sometimes it is even hard for him to return it with "i love you too" instead of going "yes, i know you love me :))" but when he does, you can get him to say "i love you/i love you too" if you simply wonder of him of how he feels. if you are seen as "not inferior to him," basically, that is also him liking you (assuming its not a rivalry sense for other demons). if he is hanging out with you and not somehow exploiting you for lust energy or blood or horrible manipulation, that is also him caring about you or your company. He could be doing anything right now, things that would feed him or help him towards becoming the most apex demon of all time. . but he is here with you instead. he's a very selfish man, but if he likes you. . he becomes slightly less selfish on rare occasion. until he loves you. then youre not getting rid of him. you get to listen to his superiority complex all the time in your ear. :))

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them? sometimes he does sleep with me, yes. . he doesnt always actually sleep, but he will lay there like a haunting guard. other times he stays in the room, he may have things to do during the night (he's a very particular demon if you did not already figure that out.) but he normally does like to lay with me or s/i 1. he doesnt have his own place normally besides returning to hell on occasion for things he needs, so he usually stays with the person he's attached to sometimes if he has nothing to do other than to keep them safe or from missing him for too long.

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o? most headcanons i have are ones ive made cos half of his lore is MINE. *chomp.* but i do like the ones about how his demon forms are or work. like the only reason he turns into his little black goat form (its not little actually, he's like. . a mountain goat size or so i would think.) is because s/i 1 loves him as a goat :D he is cute and fluffy and silly and he makes funny noises and he is less than impressed with goats as but mere insignificant creatures but he supposes he can use it for incognito sometimes. . and for s /i 1 to hold him on her lap. . on rare occasion. blood moon rare occasion.

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have? [ ʀ ᴇ ᴅ ᴀ ᴄ ᴛ ᴇ ᴅ . ] sorry wow what a funny glitch, uhmbb,, anyway-

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day? he holds me and plays with my hair. . he mutters to me things to make me feel better, or keeps me to him in his coat in his wings. he protects me from other things bothering me. on a more specific note, he does help a lot with things in the dark. he goes to stand by the door to keep the monsters away. he looks to me to tell me that the shadow im seeing is just him, or if the shadow is scary, he turns to the shadow to get it to go away. he big scary demon. . he doesnt let them come into my room. .

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like? he doesnt much do it himself other than to keep me or s/i 1 from running off cos we get distracted from things :0 but he does let me hold his hand if i want to tho uvu sometimes s/i 1 will get to hold his tail, but only if he says so. . his hand usually holds firm. not hard exactly, but tight to keep grasp of me or s/i 1 to keep us close to himb, but he can be very gentle and careful of us when he is talking to us or holding us on his lap.

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc) he does give kisses sometimes. . mostly they are private ones, but he does very sensual things. . he likes to give neck kisses, back kisses, or wrist kisses i think, but sometimes when he is being tender he will give temple or forehead kisses. . dont tell him i told you these things btw lol. he gets mad at me when i reveal his secrets -v-

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them? i love to give him kisses :D i give him kisses on his horns and forehead and cheekies uvu sometimes i kiss his chest and arms fbgkhdf <33

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o? i play with his tail like a cat toy. technically im not supposed to touch his tail or horns without his permission, but sometimes he lets me almost play with it 👀 where i can "try" to catch it, but not really, i just get really close. . but if i accidentally bump it for those things, he wont get mad at me for them. he just looks at me funny like he's suspicious of me but not really hbfsj <33

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one? idk how much depth i can really go into because it can sometimes tend towards a more spicy sense, but know it is not always in a spicy sense. most of the time its not. but he calls me "pet". . but i just mostly like to be called "his," i like when he goes "mine". . 👉🏻 👈🏻

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them? there's not good words to describe him to me. . he is just the prettiest demon to me. . i call him lots of things, but generally it is just things like calling him pretty goat man or that he is the handsomest demon. . as for nicknames:

ink inku inkioli inkybus bus-bus inku binku inky binky inky bonky onky bonky inkibink onkibonk binky boo inky doo inkus binkus inkers binkers inker bink-bus dinkus beepus binkees inky-bees inkybebop ink-bonk inkububs binky winky binky dink inky wink binku bee boo binkuboo binky bonk binkerbus binkubees beepus dinkubus beep-bus beepers jeepers where'd you get them binkers-

he loves those, i swear :)) (he doesnt, he's less than enthused, but he takes them anyway only from the one person he lets get away with most things. .)

I want everyone to have the chance to ramble about their romantic f/os, so I'm gonna make a reblog game where yall can answer the plethora of questions I'm gonna toss down. Any of the questions you want to answer, as little or as much as you'd like!! I'll read them all. PR.O.SHIP DNI!!! AT ALL! GET OUT-

SO!! SELFSHIPPERS! RIDDLE ME THIS:

What do your f/o's hugs feel like?

What are your favorite dates to have with them?

What are their favorite dates to have with you?

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you?

What's the height difference between you and your f/o?

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?

What's your favorite feature about your f/o?

What do you think they smell like?

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day?

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc)

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them?

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one?

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them?

Okay I can't wait to see some answers!! Feel free to reblog as many times with as many f/os as you want. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE! SEEING THIS POST IS AN INVITATION FOR YOU!!

People I'd like to see answer this off the top of my head (but don't have to!!): @moxanji-real @one-winged-dreams @lovesickvalentines @graveluvr @clawingatmy-enclosure @starshakez @jpeg-indulgence @everynya @tropgothships @selfshipping-tboy @amelielovesamaris @pixel-comfort @fl0ralsxgar

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

SKZ getting cheated on (Hyung Line + Han)

(How long it’ll take them to find out on their own, how they’d react, if they’d break up or not)

Chan

Honestly, it'd probably take him a while to realize. Because, for one, he'd probably feel very stable in his relationship and his place in his partner's life. He has that "They'd never because they NEED me" kinda mentality. The longer they've been together the less likely he is to find out organically unless he full-on catches them in the act. He also feels like his relationships are very solid at their core. Another big issue is to be entirely sure his partner is cheating, he needs to break free of delusions. It would also just be far too much for him if he did suspect it because he'd be afraid he'd lose his partner for even daring to think something like that. I think he'd also...Take things for granted? Like, "I have you there's no way you'd ever leave or want anything more/else" type of thing. Everything's familiar. And he doesn't take into account that anything could possibly happen.

If he finds out he got cheated on, he'd immediately tell his friends and seek comfort in them. I'm also getting he's the type who'd cheat on his partner to get his lick back or something. Cheating is something Chan can't get past, so he'd definitely leave them. He'd feel hopeless, and his entire life would probably momentarily crash and burn. I think he'd also be really frustrated and it'd ruin his trust in everyone in his life. He'd also push down and suppress a lot of things. Because of that, the feelings of hurt and anger and resentment can easily fester because he didn't allow himself to acknowledge them or hash them out.

Lee Know

Idk why I immediately thought of ice spice

Specifically that like "You think you the shit, bitch? You not even the fart." I don't even like her or that song

BUT ANYWAYS

He'd know quickly. You can't HIDE that from this man. Trust he'll find out ASAP. Because, one, his intuition is on a whole other level. Two, he'd immediately know if something's off. Whether that be your location being off or somewhere it's not supposed to, etc. Even if you think you're slick he'll FIND a tell one way or another. I'm also a firm believer he goes through phones. I'm talking every nook and cranny of that phone including your EMAILS. He's finding that shit one way or another and you're lucky if there's a 24 hour window of time where he doesn't know about it. He'll find a way to figure it out.

In terms of how he'd react...He'd definitely find out on his own, so there'd be this 'Aha!' moment. Because he knew he wasn't going crazy. He's going to figure out every nitty gritty detail of the cheating with PRINTED OUT laminated receipts with copies just incase. He's definitely gonna confront his partner. And trust he's going to have a boost of confidence figuring it out. Definitely not the type who blames himself. He's also probably telling everyone and their mother. And YOUR mother. He sees it as a battle won and everyone needs to hear about the victory.

He has a 50/50 chance of leaving, though. On ONE hand, while trust is very important to him he'd also feel a sense of...I don't want to say ownership but that's the only word I can think of over his partners. So, he simply wouldn't want to let them go. I feel like the love would also linger a lot because he feels very deeply. So, he may just stay with his partner and fall into some toxic habits of keeping them on lockdown, being all hovery...The type who's calling his partner every 5 minutes, showing up to their job to make sure they're there, getting their Apple login so they can receive every single message and notif they do...He's keeping them on LOCK. But on the other hand, he could very well just...Fall out of love in an instant. It's very contradictory. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin and he has a very large capacity for hate, especially when betrayed. Probably just moved onto the next. So yeah, he's either dumping you rather cruelly then moving on like you never existed, or keeping you uner lock and key.

Changbin

He'd probably FIND OUT fairly quickly, because he'd kind of have this gut feeling. But he'd suppress those feelings and convince himself he was insane until he finally catches his partner red handed and realizes he's right on the money. Because he's very passionate about his relatinship and doesn't want to be imposing on his partner or doubting them for no reason. That's not his intention nor something he's comfortable with doing. He also wants to trust in his partner. He'll probably lose faith in himself and just be very on edge until he realizes he's right.

His entire life would fall apart when he finds out. He falls into destructive tendencies. Probably self-sabotages a lot. He feels like a failure, and he's so afraid of being made fun of or looked down on because he got cheated on. He'd probably fall into a depression and just be very negative. He'd feel like he wasn't enough, and couldn't be good enough. And feel he just couldn't be all his partner needed so they found it in someone else. But he'd also regain some of his trust in himself. Because he realized his intuition was right and he wasn't just losing his mind. Would definitely need a lot of kindness and comfort from friends and family, and a lot of self-expolration. May fall into delusions to help himself cope.

He'd also definitely break up with his partner if they cheated. Because they're obviously not his person, and he'll find his person.

Hyunjin

I haven't even pulled yet and I already know this'll affect my mental wellbeing

But also...MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNNNN I haven't read on him in a while (I'm saying this because he's my bias not because i'm delusional enough to think he'd want me don't @ me)

FIRST OF ALL, he'd believe he's being cheated on long before he actually is. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already been in a situation where he dreamed of being cheated on and then a few weeks later got cheated on and was convinced he was a prophet or something. Not literally but you catch my drift. But I also feel like the amount of time it'd take to figure it out is considerably lengthened by the fact that he looks at everything through rose-tinted glasses of hopeless romance. He has a love for life and is more focused on that than anything else. Plus, he's near perpetually convinced he's about to be cheated on or is being cheated on so once he genuinely DOES see the red flags it's less...Impactful? To him? Because he sees them in everything. He's sensitive, though, so i feel like he'd sense it if something was off. Like, if his partner was cheating because of lost feelings he'd realize the lost feelings. And then, his imagination would take the wheel and suddenly it's a joyride off a cliff and into a mental spiral. I feel like deep down he'd also know like "Oh shit, this is different. They may actually be cheating for real." I feel like he has the emotional maturity to know that other times he was overreacting and being delusional. But this is more than that. I feel like the moment he open his eyes, he'll immediately know.

And he's getting the hell up out of there.

He'd be CRUSHED if he found out he got cheated on. He'd probably throw his money away doing stupid shit with it, fall into certain bad habits. He'd feel hopeless, and feel like everything he worked so hard for during the relationship was a waste. Like he's failed. But he'd also 100% publicly expose his partner. I also think he'd drown his sorrows in another relationship or fling or whatever. I'm talking within the hour of finding out he's under someone else for the sole purpose of distraction. He'd also 100% use this to fuel his general anger/crashoutery for the next few months. Like he'll be another level of volatile and emotionally unstable. He'd probably reflect a lot on the relationship. He'd withdraw from a lot of things and just want to be by himself and recover from the pain. Definitely would avoid anything that could potentially stress him out.

He'd also break up with his partner. Surprisingly. I was honestly expecting him to stay. But I feel like his energy has changed? He has more trust in himself and his value and he's not just content sticking around through mistreatment anymore. Good for him.

Han

Shawty bae

I don’t think he’d notice? He’d just very much be blinded by everything. He idealizes his relationships, and he’d be so happy he just genuinely wouldn’t notice if something was amiss. He’s also just generally an overthinker and has a very scattered mind, so I think if he did pick up on something he wouldn’t notice AT ALL he’s not being delusional.

I think he’d still love them if they cheated. But I also think he’d be the type to…Cheat back? If his partner were to ever cheat on him. He’d definitely also get closer with friends and family for emotional support and find happiness there. Mask the sadness with more happiness and drown himself in pleasure. I think once he finds out everything will suddenly connect. All the puzzle pieces will fall into place and everything will suddenly make sense.

I think he would want to but I don’t think he would. It’d be a big inner conflict and he’d really have to force himself to. He’d need to think on it and his friends and family would have to push for it. Because he’s like “Well I’ve put so much effort into this why throw it away?” And just values the stability relationships and having his ‘other half’ brings to him.

[thecoolerliauditore]

I can’t exactly remember the post or tags but you mentioned something about how fandom treats popular au’s and their creators, would you ever go into that topic in further detail? I’m intrigued with your opinions on fandom and your takes but if that’s something you don’t want to get into then I understand. Random anon signing out.

I've vagued about it quite a lot because it's a topic very interesting to me in line with the rest of the fandom meta discourse-y stuff I find very fascinating to observe unfold.

I don't think I'll ever be deep-diving on it and naming all the who's who because I fear sounding like t*rkey t*m 🤢 or someone else adjacent and I doubt many artists/writers would feel completely at ease with me making judgments on how they use their platforms or unintentionally cultivate fandom culture even if it's not coming from a malicious place (<-- trust me when I say this that no fandom person I've namedropped on here is anyone I can say I dislike. Like with what I mentioned about how I'll never post about an SMP I genuinely don't have at least somewhat positive feelings towards, if I don't like someone I'll just not mention their name at all cus doing otherwise is unproductive imo unless it's a serious situation).

I'll be honest I wrote much much more but it all ended up getting wildly away from me. In short though I think the problem mostly lies in the fandom fearing itself. Too many people are too scared to do anything genuine out of fear of not being inoffensive enough, which I think is wild considering what we are doing is inherently already transgressive to anyone outside of the fandom -- please if you have the opportunity, try explaining joelshipping to an irl who doesn't care about mcyt, it's an amazing bonding exercise.

It's difficult because, on some level, if you are marked as a Big Artist you kind of lose the ability to be not inoffensive in this fandom. It's this horrible loop of self-censorship that maintains itself by making sure it goes unchallenged.

And this might be a mean thing to say but. I think a lot of New Fandom exists almost purely out of reaction to the Old Fandom and a lot of it feels.. very cynical? I think when you engage with the series as a narrative, it's more or less unavoidable that some uncomfortable themes pop up when you take the murder game as a serious setting, but as time goes on and more and more of those uncomfortable themes become vegetables hidden in a child's dish rather than stated outright, the narrative as a whole becomes left to the wayside and all that remains is this shell that somewhat mimics having things to say. I just think there's something to be said about how somewhere during SL every popular sentiment suddenly got shot down with "not everything has to be about that!" with no one offering any real alternative. and that's become so prevalent in WL fanon that even enaging with the leftover SHELL of narrative (the celestial body thing) is seen as cringe and everything has to now be layered in irony.

One weird exception I will mention is that Scott/Pearl becoming acknowledge-able as a ship is a weird turn of events and I genuinely did not expect it but their culture is. weird and unique lmao I wrote a thing before that I deleted about Smallidarity and how queerness is central to fanon but also you can only engage with it in this sanctioned for safe consumption kinda way (see: the old discourse about the "yaoi-fication of scarian" and joelshipping) that would've been really good here but whatever man. Majormoon becoming the new toxic FH discourse was not on the bingo card but holy fuck I am intrigued

[newsfromstolenland]

I do think it's wild when white people use "amerikkka" or "kkkanada" when they're getting mad at a person of colour who lives there, in like an attempt to say that the POC here are to blame for it...like yeah man, it's racist here. it makes my life really hard. sick burn?

I've had this directed at me a couple of times, but I think it's especially fucked up when it's directed at a Black person. how are you gonna blame Black people for the kkk and think that makes you progressive??

I don't think I'm describing what happens super well so I'll give an example of one of the times this was directed at me. I made a post talking about racism in europe, and a white european replied "says the person from kkkanada, maybe focus on your own country" or something along those lines

like bitch...are you under the impression that people of colour in canada and the usa are part of the kkk rather than targets of them and other white supremacist groups?? are you stupid? how tf are you gonna make it sound like it's my fault that people are racist to me??

and then yesterday I saw a post where a Black person had been called "amerikkkan" by a white person which is significantly more fucked than it being directed at me (a non-Black POC). invoking the kkk to make fun of a Black person in the us is pretty clearly fucked up

it's just....who do you think the kkk targets?????? not your white european ass!! their main target is Black people in the united states, and you have no right to lump Black people in with white supremacists

the problem with the idea that europeans hold of the states (and sometimes- though less often- canada) is that they paint everyone with a broad brush as long as the image they're painting feeds their superiority complex

they don't bring up the kkk because they care about racism or people of colour. they bring it up because it makes them feel superior and allows them to pretend like racism is an exclusively north american phenomenon that they can't possibly also be perpetrators of. how could they possibly be racist? they're not usamerican! (and don't get me wrong, white canadians absolutely fucking do this shit too. it's the whole "we're so much better than the states. what legacy of racism and colonialism? we don't have that here!" mentality)

if they actually cared about the harm caused by white supremacist groups like the kkk, they sure as shit wouldn't be invoking them as a gotcha against people of colour on the internet

for europeans (and canadians), invoking the kkk is all about them feeling superior. and that sense of superiority is a hell of a lot closer to white supremacy than existing as a person of colour in the states or canada is

[phalangemedes]

Ohh see, that's interesting because for all he is patently a big ol' sad sack of long term depression who began with ambitions and morally good-enough goals (a gothic horror heroine ala Dr Jekyll crossed with Ben and Jerry’s) I always felt like there's more of a malicious intent to him. Or perhaps not malicious but.. piquant. That he's not necessarily looking for forgiveness for himself, or in others, but that it's just part of the doctrine of the Houses now. He is the Forgiving Lord, but he leans more heavily on the Lord aspect.

It came through pretty readily with the Necromancer who did the blood wards for Jod, Mercy, Ianthe & Harrow to first enter the River, and his reaction as if their death was a brief annoyance over a commitment from them. Likewise, to a larger scale, when he says he chased the fleeing billionaires on purpose, consumed the planets in their wake, and them (GRANTED, mood, but also it was his admittance that he can be a petty little queen)

In another part Cytherea's 'funeral'; for all Mercy bitches about it it's more of a "I am bored on dwelling on the fact there are less of us!!!" John REALLY hams it up, and I'm never sure if it's him clinging to the last vestiges of humanity or wearing a human mask, because he’s obviously sad, but what’s he sad FOR? Much in the way he pushes to be a father figure to Harrow it just... something feels off and I'm not sure how much is text, subtext, or I've just taken a dislike to him because of what he's done to Alecto (also honestly low key neglecting Ianthe, which is presumably why she chose him, she sees neglect as the default and he is the ultimate position of power in the vicinity)

Which isn't to say John wasn't, if not in some cases still, isn't capable of kindness and some breed of humanity. And 10k years of Godhood is going to fuck a man up, but there was definitely something amiss before his ascension, long before the resurrection. I'm gagging to see how it plays out with Alecto once more manifest seemingly on HIS whims, cause he wasn't exactly shocked, he patently manipulated the tower princes, amongst other things. And it can’t be 4d chess to off himself, because he’s had options to do that…

Also also it sits so odd with me that he went to all that effort to re-make everyone, wipe their memories, make it “perfect”.. and he LEFT G1deon looking like a strip of beef jerky. (In much the same way I believe Pyrrha's memories of before stem from the arm, was it harder to Frankenstein G1deon because there was so much of his tissue left!? Or was he shit on purpose because he’s only detail orientated when it benefits him. Inquiring minds JODATHON.)

There are several allusions to Ortus being bad at being a bone pack mule too, but again, is this because he Doesn't Want To or is it because of something more congenital. And in respects to not knowing a lot about Ortus.. technically he died "off screen" twice. There is a possibility of his return (and at length Nonius AND G1deon) It's not like we know a great deal about the Cessation that's occurring in the River, or indeed what the whole deal is with the Stomas, "hell", Antioch, the Devil's. It's such an untouched subject. Justice for Ortus!

I suppose that opens up how thanergy interacts with different stages of growth, internally or externally. When it comes to thanergic output is there strength in youth? Is it more easier to repair young cells when they already have their own regenerative power? If a twink goes off into battle and gets shredded is it just easier for the medics to shlorp them back together than a 30 something? We don't really see many instances of young vs old in that respect, only necro vs lyctor.

Honestly same, it can be whatever batshit publishing schedule it wants to be (two books? mayhaps a side story compendium of unfinished and maddening snippets, small leather bound book of poetry... a king james bible but she's only highlighted the relevant bits, with gel penned hearts in random places we can argue about as a fandom) I'd even take a random date in 2029 if they were gunna stick to it!

It's toothsome isn't it, there have been acts that are shocking but they've never felt for shock value. Also I am frightened by how much I trust her to do it justice lmao. I think it's because, inherently, they are very obviously her characters who just HAPPEN to be in a book. I've seen a lot of talk about how it has 'fanfic' vibes and I'd argue that's inherently why it feels more padded out, she knows them all inside out, they remain con-- actually no, stopping myself there, they don't remain consistent, they GROW but in a way that is consistent to them as people.

But yeah. I will be such a big baby about Paul. I don't even love them yet, I don't know them enough, but I am nerrvvouss.

HARD agree!!

GtN is the most.. booky, too, I think? Which I mean with love, it has a plot structure and viability to be other mediums in a way that you Cannot further down the list. And was a necessary tone, and bedrock, for the rest. A masterful point in which to enter the universe, where there's still wit and some sense of hope, even if it's tenuous. Much like, tbh, I think Gideon is a perfect action and adventure narrator, in so much as she doesn't really fit the genre, and that suspension of disbelief makes it simultaneously easier and harder to digest. It's a more subtle but no less clever whiplash between tridentarii tits and cremains.

HtN is the first book in a long time that forced me to think (this is not a hard thing to do, I am not the brightest bulb, but to be *thoughtfully* engaged is a delight), not just on plot mysteries, but generally. It's not a passive consumable, you have to be an active participant in it even in future re-reads and that's SUCH A TREAT?? And the horror in it is some of my favourite, it's the creeping unease that you should get from interstellar travel but it's not actually the interstellar travel causing it. It's the loneliness of mental illness, it's the paranoia of untrusted adults who are in charge of you, it's changed in your body that don't sit right, it's comfort in someone you barely trust and the constant roiling grief of knowing something is wrong with you and you don't know why. It is a GORGEOUS and upsetting representation of Otherness.

Yes!! NtN is.. SOFT, it's proof that life continues even when it feels like it shouldn't. It's I think the most sci-fi of the three, if GtN is action adventure haunted house murder mystery (In the same way Alien/s is) and HtN Suspense Horror Thriller NtN is... kinda putting the realism in spec fic? It's situational dystopian novel of manners? It's love and gentility and breakfast scenes and rather than the outside being some bucolic countryside it's just war torn hell. I think it's the most character focussed, too. And I don't think it's JUST cause they're well established by that point because A) most are new B) the rest have been through psyche changing shit.

But like you said, it's kinda impossible to have a favourite, just as it is to separate them. Homogenous lump of beloved. Imperfect beloved too, cause there is fault, but it's such lusciously human fault that it just makes it better, like thumb prints in roman roof tiles, a promise that someone made it from scratch.

Please, no apologies! And ohh fear not life continues to... spiral, but this is supposed to be a chill, time non-restricted fun. I'd say light hearted but lmao who am I kidding, it's as deep or as shallow as we want it. But it was nice to get something in the inbox to look forward to!

I have such a big beef with the way that the TLT fandom talks about Cam and Pal being codependent. I have not seen any word of god quotes that talk about them that way, but it seems to be this widely accepted truth that just doesn't click with my reading of the characters.

Certainly by NtN Pal has a dependent relationship with Cam, as they are sharing a body. There are even some parallels to codependency with how their use of necromancy in Cam's body causes her harm.

What I just don't get about the codependent label is that I don't see Cam and Pal enabling one or the other in destructive behavior. Certainly they partake in risky behavior that Pyrrah criticizes them for, but it seems to be a mutual decision. Cam is just as reckless as Pal is, and possibly moreso.

(And also Pyrrah is a huge projecting hypocrite. Love her tho I may, it's true.)

Pal's quotes about how grand lysis wasn't their inevitable end, but was the best and kindest option left to them complements the discussions we overhear in their recordings. Pal's pursuit of Cam's consent and her enthusiasm in giving it just doesn't match the codependent relationship that fans keep referencing.

[messypansy]

Contains: Hypnosis, manipulation, technically somno?, forced masculinization, use of the F slur

This is a ramble, not supposed to be anything too accurate or well written, so be nice, please lol

If there's a tag you think needs to be here, let me know!

Just imagine:

You're dating a guy and 6 months in, everything's going well. He's really sweet, he takes you out to dinner, buys you your favorite books and new ones you've been meaning to get to, even being able to practically read your mind the way he just knows when you're hungry or thirsty. He just seems to be such good boyfriend material.

A while after, he sees you've not been putting as much effort into looking like a guy, even going so far as to wear feminine clothes and not correcting people when they call you by she/her pronouns. You've noticed the little glint in his eyes and the mild looks of irritation, but you've never thought to bring them up.

You don't question when he tells you you've got a doctor's appointment and that he'll take you. You don't question when the doctor supplies you your first dose of testosterone, nor do you realize that's what's in the "vaccine" your boyfriend swears it is. You don't question when he needs to run by the pharmacy and comes back to the car with a bag of supplies. You're none the wiser when he gives you your following doses in your sleep, waiting until you're unconscious to inject the needle into your fat.

When your attitude doesn't change in the first few weeks, still attempting to keep a hold on your femininity despite the growth happening between your legs, he decides to take some extra measures. Now, while you're asleep, he's slipping headphones on your head, allowing subliminals to fill your mind. This seems to help, so he continues to do so, even going so far as to put you into trance while you're awake and make you forget what he would do just as you come to. He starts off easy, just reaffirming the triggers he's set and putting it in your brain that you are indeed a man, but he increases the intensity more and more every day, setting in desires to be used like a man, to be seen as a man. Unbeknownst to you, when these little thoughts creep up in your mind throughout the day, you have no clue that they're because of what he's doing.

It eventually gets to a point where he's done some convincing without influence to let him try out anal with you. Even with his less than ethical methods before, he knew it needed no convincing on your part this time, and he takes care of you so nicely, having all the supplies to properly prep you for it all. Just like everything else, you have no clue this wouldn't be the first time, not that you're aware of at least.

He slips inside you with barely any effort after some prepping, surprising even you as he starts off slow. You can't help but feel like this isn't the first time you've done this, that you two MUST have done something before. Even in your moan-filled bliss, you can't help but beg the question. His rhythm stutters for a moment, almost pausing before pretending like you didn't just ask what you asked. You insist, even stating through moans that you're pretty sure he's done something.

He grabs your throat suddenly, pounding into you ruthlessly. "Of course I did. But I'm surprised you even remember." As your eyes widen, about to argue, you barely get even a word out before he's pressing more on your arteries and making your head spin from the lack of blood flow. He growls into your ear:

"I don't want to hear a word out of that mouth about it. You may be pissed, but I had to do it. You need to start acting like a man. You lost the right to your own body when you decided that you were gonna pretend to be some fucking girl and ignore the reality in front of you."

"Now shut the fuck up and take it like a man..."

Despite the still lingering anger and shock at the revelation, the way he fucks up into you is way too much, causing that still foggy brain of yours to give in despite it all, to just let him use you like the little fag you are. He whispers one little word into your ear, and although it doesn't send you into trance, it makes what he says next all the more enticing and convincing.

"Doesn't this feel good? To be used like the stupid whore you are? To be guided like this? To be shown your place?"

It all feels so good. It feels good for him to use you. It feels good when he slips his hand around and pumps your little developing cock. It feels good to hear his praises. It feels good to be called a 'good boy', to be called a 'fag'. It's what you are, after all.

"Are you gonna cum? Gonna cum from me fucking you like a man? From me stroking your cock?"

He says through grunts, already so close himself. It's all too much, the way he fills you up so nicely and the way he praises how you give in and clench with each masculine praise. You can't help but nod violently as your moans and whines practically evolve into cries and screams of pleasure. As the feeling of release overwhelms you, your body convulses under him, the only thing to stabilize you being his hands that hold your hips so tight that the possibility of bruising is a guarantee. You shudder as he finally cums inside you, painting your ass with spurts of white.

Your pants fill the room, your boyfriend staying inside you for a while before pulling out and rolling over onto his back. He pulls you into his embrace, holding your sweaty body close while he gets his bearings.

"From now on...", he starts, his speech slow and patchy. "You're...You're gonna be...fucked exclusively like this... No using that...that useless front hole. You're gonna listen to my words, to my orders...and be the man I know you are..."

You're eyes already flitting close, you can only nod slightly in response as you fall asleep against him.

As time goes on, he forces you to continue your masculinization, having to use hypnosis and trigger words on you less and less. He has you voice train as your voice drops, has you eating more of those necessary macros and making you work out, he takes you to a barber to get a more appropriate cut compared to the shaggy layers you donned before. He's even got a surgery date for you to get those lumps off your chest so you can start wearing shirts and going shirtless without a binder. He's completely changed you for the better.

And now?...

You actually believe it.

[481mclarg]

Scared to love you | AL65

★ I've never been good at telling people how I feel, but you make me want to try.

STLY       •       FANFIC + SMAU.

          • Arthur Leclerc x Male!Oc Driver

« K » Just want to say thank you for all the support. Every like, new follower, and reblogs. All the interactions w/this and any fanfic/smau is more than appreciated. <3

Warning: —

★          introduction. | one. | two. | three. | four. | five. | six.

          After finishing shopping, they left the store, with the brunette texting on the group chat the reason for their separation.

          —...Thank you. —Lombardi murmured as they walked on the way to the park that Paul indicated to them.

          —For what? —

          —I don't know... For everything. —He shrugged, somewhat shy. Embarrassed, praying that the heat on his face wasn't evident to the Monegasque, who had been looking at him so much lately.

          —I... You don't need to thank me for anything. —He placed his hand on the back of his neck, caressing his skin and the small curls that fell over it.

          The Italian finally turned around, fixing those eyes that Arthur was addicted to on him.

          —The people... —He murmured, worried, even though there were very few who passed by paying attention to them. The Monegasque lowered his hand down the boy's spine, guiding him with him to a nearby alley.

          The need to thank him again arose from him. He didn't know if for bothering to look for a less crowded place or for what. The words died in his throat, but the gratitude was expressed by kissing the brunette boy back.

          "How long will this last?" he wondered, fearing that it would have an end. Fearing to return home and with a cool head, everything will seem like a big mistake.

          Maybe worse, that only Arthur will find the wrong in all that.

          He was afraid that the idea of ​​going back to being just friends was inconceivable, that he would hate everything that happened enough not want to talk to him again. He didn't want to lose the relationship, nor did he need it to remain like the last few days. He didn't know what he wanted. He was afraid of the future.

          The ringtone of a cell phone startled them, causing them to separate quickly.

          Matteo was quick to take the device out of his pocket, feeling anxiety grow inside him.

          —Giancarlo? —Fear spread to Arthur, who debated between trying to listen to what the man was saying or giving the young man his space to answer the call.

          The dark-haired boy noticed the doubt in the Monegasque, managing to communicate with just his gaze that he didn't want to be left alone.

          He barely spoke, only nodding a few times, with his eyebrows furrowed in concern, murmuring vague assents or denials. The call ended a few minutes later, with a "See you later" from Matteo, who didn't seem to have received a response.

          —Is everything okay? —he asked, almost scared.

          —He found out about the trip, and he's not very happy... —he denied. —He wants me to go home as soon as possible. —Leclerc nodded. His eyebrows furrowed, really worried. Guilt was what he felt. —Don't worry; it'll probably just be a scolding for not letting him know. —

          —Are you sure? I can explain to him, tell him that I insisted on my birthday. —

          —No-. No. It's not necessary, Le. —he denied quickly. —I'll take care of this. —Arthur wanted to insist, but Matteo's phone vibrated again. —We have to hurry. The boys are asking for us. —He changed the subject, forcing the conversation to die there, to get out of that alley and hurry to get to the others.

          Leclerc followed him with concern.

          He understood that this was an issue Matteo wanted to resolve with Giancarlo alone, but he was afraid that he would take all the responsibility and get all the scolding for something that wasn't even his idea in the first place. At the same time, he hated knowing that Matteo could be scolded for things as common as taking a vacation or going out with friends.

          Yes, it was wrong of him to hide something like an international trip like this from his coach and manager, but he did it for a reason. Arthur knew that he wouldn't keep secrets from Giancarlo for nothing; he must have a good reason for deciding to keep quiet.

          Would Girotti be so severe for a young man's simple and almost silly idea of ​​spending a few days partying? Arthur was really worried. Not only because of what the man might do or say to him, but because of what the Italian himself would say to himself.

          Matteo, for the first time all weekend, was using the second bed in the room, and Arthur couldn't feel more strange about it.

          He regretted the loss of the Italian's warmth. He misses him. He didn't know he could miss something he had barely known so strongly. With a sadness he tried to believe was irrational, he looked at the boy who, lying down, turned his back on him from the other side of the room, apparently asleep.

          "I need time to think," he excused himself as soon as they returned to the room after dinner, knowing that it was a doubt they both had. What would they do that night? He didn't think about repeating what happened the previous nights, but he hoped perhaps to be able to talk about all that, about what they felt, and what they wanted.

          At least he would tell him that they were going to pretend that nothing happened and return to the almost formal relation, limiting themselves to the talks at the academy meetings.

          The boy didn't know he could feel that way about losing someone. Yes, he had lost very dear people before, but it was different. Maybe, because he knew that Matteo would still be there, carrying whatever he was holding in and the memory of what he had experienced.

          He knew he was going to miss that weekend. Miss the side of Matteo he had known, the person he allowed himself to be far from home and from anyone who conditioned his way of acting.

          Now that he knew that more carefree and relaxed side of Matteo, closer, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to forget it, to miss it. He was scared of how right it had felt to be embraced by the Italian's warmth, and how lost he imagined himself being without being able to experience it again.

          He was terrified to think that he was missing a warmth that he didn't want to share with him. Could Matteo hate him now? Maybe he hadn't enjoyed that weekend as much as he had.

          Maybe he had never wanted to do any of that, and only now dared to put on the brakes, to distance himself.

          Why had he acted on those stupid drunken ideas? He was still asking himself that question a week after the trip. He was already back in Monaco, and he assumed that Matteo was in Italy. He assumed, because the boy hadn't spoken to anyone after an "I'm home" message, sent hours after landing in France. An almost obligatory message, since Dennis and Paul insisted that he let them know when he arrived in his country.

          Lombardi didn't write to him, and he didn't try to either. He was… afraid? Afraid that he had ruined everything, that he would hate him, that he would never want to talk to him again. Or was it shame that he felt? For feeling so much and confusing desire with something more. Shame for having let himself go and given himself over to the heat of the night, letting himself be enveloped by the atmosphere of the clubs and bars, letting himself be influenced by silly games and his most primitive reactions.

          How could he face talking to Matteo again? He couldn't even think of what to say to him. Just say hello? Talk about the next race? Ask again about the future in Formula 1? Inquire into his feelings? Apologizes?

          Should he apologize?

          Did he feel guilty, and that's why he didn't want to talk to Matteo?

          Giancarlo was a volatile man, yes. Perhaps he overreacted when the driver neglected his image as a star athlete and behaved like the teenager he was, yes. But- if he hadn't invited him…

          If they hadn't insisted on going out, on drinking, on returning to the hotel before the rest, on repeating it a second night… If he hadn't done everything he did before thinking.

          How severe must Giancarlo have been?

          Maybe talking to him wasn't even possible. Maybe he had him incommunicado, punished like a child who is deprived of his phone and networks. Or maybe he just forbade him to talk to him? Has Matteo confessed everything that happened? Does Giancarlo know… how much does he knows about Matteo's life? Is there anyone who really knows about him? Is Matteo allowing himself to know himself?

          He tried to maintain a slight hope. The illusion that the trip had managed to awaken that young and rebellious part of the Italian. That he would let himself live, that he would allow himself to have a life apart from his professional career.

          He tried with all his strength, although inside, he was dying of uncertainty, fear, shame, and guilt.

[ 📲 ] Incoming call...

🔊          —Charles. —he calls his brother one night before dawn. He hates bothering him on a race week, but he needs advice.

          Talk to their older brother or their mother scared him, more than just talk to Charles. He also might be the only awake because of the different time zones. Anyways, he thought hundreds and hundreds of times what to say and what to not.

          He wasn't ready to "the talk" trying to explain if he now also likes boys or the kind of relationship that he had with Matteo. At some point, it would happen, he knew, but it wouldn't be that night. I preferred it to be later, as late as possible

          «¡Hey, Arthur!» he greeted happily. «What's up? Is everything okay at home?»

          —Yeah, all good... —nodded. —I'm calling you for advice. —

          «Oh? What kind?»

          "Hope not sound so stupid..." —Sometime you feel... nostalgic? Missing... not something, to someone —He was looking for the right words to express his doubt. —Missing a teammate so much and being afraid of losing your friendship. —

          «Oh...» he murmured on the other end of the line. The depth of the issue had caught him off guard. «Well, I miss Sebastian a lot, of course; and when Carlos leaves Ferrari, it will take time to adapt to his absence, but... I guess I always knew that Formula 1 was like that» Arthur nodded, although his brother couldn't see it. «Not because they retire or change teams, they stop being friends... and not all teammates are friends»

          —But, you know-. You spend a lot of time with Carlos, so many things, many important moments; don't you feel that you lost something now that he left? —Isn't it normal to feel that emptiness in his chest when he imagined that they would no longer share time together?

          «I don't know if it's that big of a deal, Arthur. I will continue to see him in the paddock» He scratched the back of his neck, beginning to doubt if his brother was really okay. «What are these questions? Whom are you missing?

          —Oh, well- Since I'm not going to continue in Formula next year... I don't know, I've been a bit thoughtful lately. You know, a little... sad. —

          «Oh, Arthur. Don't worry, other opportunities are going to come» He didn't believe that the main problem, now, was the lack of a seat for next year.

          The lack of a companion bothered him. The lack of Matteo.

          —Do you think I will lose my relationship with the others if I leave the category? —

          «Your friends? The ones that travel with you to Spain for your birthday?» he waited to the younger nod before continuing speaking «They would be idiots if they ruined a friendship and so much time together by not being in the same grid. If they do, they aren't worth your time»

          —But I don't want to lose him. —He immediately regretted it, cursing in his mind repeatedly for letting himself speak before thinking.

          «Uh...» he sputtered. Before the younger could retract it or add something to disguise the desperation of the comment, he responded: «Maybe you have to act and do something about it too. Relationships -all types of relationships- depend on the effort of both parties to preserve themselves, right?»

          —Yeah, I guess... —

          «Arth, if I don't go to the meeting, Fred is going to hang me from the Angel of Independence» He spoke a little more hurriedly, while complaints were heard in the background. «Then I want to know who all this was for, okay? See you! Kisses to mom! »

          —See you... —He stammered, barely getting to speak before he hung up the call.

[ 📲 ] ...Call ended.

481MCLARG | 21 . 01 . 2025 | CORREGIDO

[skullchicken]

As a person who used to be super extremely duper scared of horror movies and now really enjoys them, here is one thing I can say to my peers stuck on the "very scared" side of the line and might be interested in the benefits:

you get more scared in the short-term, but a lot less scared in the long term. I used to have pretty intense night fears, I'm talking "walking through the dark hallway with eyes closed because oh god what if I see something in the dark?!" or "checking whether I locked my wardrobe every night because what if something comes out?" And now, years later, I don't! and I think horror movies and video games really helped with that.

but to achieve that, the important part is a controlled dosage:

watch it with friends. make fun of it with them. watch it with the lights on. watch it on a very small screen. pause whenever you feel overwhelmed. watch horror comedies or bad horror movies. watch video essay of movies you watch to analyze/intellectualize them.

over time you raise your level of what you can stomach and with that, the stress response in general will go down. and also, as it turns out: horror/fear is kind of a con-man. as long as you have high emotions you're not thinking about the logic of the situation. and a lot of horror-situations are very nonsensical and even silly once your fear response goes down a little and you think about it.

another is this: some (not all) horror movies are essentially more intense versions of action, fantasy or drama movies (especially if they have happy endings). If you like these genres, there might be some really good ones you're missing out on because they're hidden behind the "horror" label.

Also: in retrospect, just knowing that a movie is a horror movie might be the thing that makes it scary. once you understand that you're more scared of being scared than the actually scary thing on screen, it might get a lot easier to parse.

Now go forth and explore (if you like)! Really cool monster designs await youuu~

[skippingthroughfields]

one thing that's missing from these convos about amc not submitting assad zaman for a golden globes nom that makes it 10x more malicious on amc's part is that a nomination isn't just like oh... ~simple appreciation for an actor's performance. even if there's no win, it results in a profile boost for these actors & them being able to command a higher salary when it comes to future projects. it's something that gets notice on their CV. these studios and networks love being able to market their shit with things like "starring golden globe nominee john doe" or "emmy winner jane doe." the emmys are more prestigious than the golden globes which are more prestigious than the critics choice awards (the one they submitted him for with two other actors lol). actors get nominated and have the opportunity to get attention from social media posts, article mentions, attending the red carpet, having their name announced and a little clip of their acting shown. that's not nothing! attention from possible new fans, publications, execs, peers, producers, directors, fashion houses & other industries which could lead to $$$ and sponsorships. I won't make any presumptions about the cast's finances but I do know amc is probably not paying them their worth, least of all the bangladeshi muslim who barely had any major roles in tv/film prior to the show.

there are fees and costs associated with submitting for awards consideration and FYC ads. the network basically took a look at assad's brown skin and name and said they don't think he's worth the money over the white actor who had less screentime and narrative importance (to the season ig) which is absolutely crazy lmao. it shouldn't be controversial to say that and you can't not discuss this without bringing up sam's name. this has nothing to do with whether he "deserved" to be submitted (and even if I said he doesn't deserve it over assad who's gonna beat my ass?). this white man isn't being persecuted by conversations about blatant racism. but I'd expect nothing less from this fanbase x.

[piko-rose]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."