#And I don’t always like the feeling of posting vent stuff online.

[ottosbigtop]

Something about mistranslations and perspectives and trying very very hard.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

People online will really be like “you! Individual who cares about this subject and said maybe it would be good, even just an off handed comment, explain it in depth immediately even though you have no real training or experience in debates and even if you point me to someone who you know is better at doing so and articulating the points relevant to what you were saying or suggesting, I won’t check them out even if I wouldn’t have to leave the website we are currently on, because I want YOU and ONLY YOU to explain what this topic represents and respond to my bad faith arguments that have been addressed by people better at it than you hundreds or thousands of time and I can easily look at one of them, especially whoever you suggested could explain it better than you. If you can’t defeat every bad faith argument I make in an attempt to completely discredit both you and the thing you care about then obviously everything about it is wrong and I don’t need to think about it at all ever outside of making you look bad and “winning” this impromptu argument that has been seen and addressed before. Also you weren’t trying to explain the point yourself, you just mentioned it and maybe said it might be good. I win, no one should take that idea seriously, and you’re a bad person.”

[luffyvace]

Hello first of all- Omg my new fav author I LOVE UR WRITING SM LIKE ???? APBDISBRQKOZ

I found your blog form the author!Reader the anon who ask haz a creative mind I loved the 2 post sm I already got addicted to it I hope u Dont mind me requesting sm form it

Imagine Kusuo getting a notification (he seems like the one has his phone on dnd but has his notification open for his s/o in all media) of her post sm in one of there public social platform saying "I'm turning into my emo phase if this writer block doesn't move on form me " and when checking her private acc (the it's only access for him and her older friend) she is all memes about her writer block and her saying "if I stop writing I give all my books and series to you my friend" just her and overreacting to her block writer

Hiii!! THANK YOU CUTIE!! It always makes me so happy to hear I can share my hobbies with others <3 ahhh I see! Of course I don’t mind dear :)

ohh so if I’m getting this right it’s Saiki finding readers second blog (in which she mostly posts unserious stuff about her writers block) I believe I get what ya mean :}

*･..°•*:.｡:3･.｡.:*･..*°.･

Lol if feel like almost every writer has they’re side blogs or blog where they not a writer they just read other’s stuff

and to me this blog seems like a kinda funny vent blog where reader can just complain about her writers block whenever she has it

LOL imagine going inactive on that acc for weeks and saiki’s wondering if you forgot about it or forgot the password but you just simply have had a lot of motivation lately

then all the sudden you come back and your rebloging all types of relatable author memes and making posts about how ‘your going emo because you have writers block’

honestly it’s kinda ironic to him

he likes your posts on both accounts to support even when your do have writers block

cuz who’s likes a guy who ups and leaves when you don’t have motivation?

the first time you threatened to give your books away he knew you were joking but at the same time he was like ‘wait don’t give all your books away they can’t write it as well as you can 😀’

’kusuo I’m joking’

🧍

‘me too I knew that’

(“Thank goodness..her books were the only thing keeping me sane from those nuisances..”)

- In Saiki’s head

he doesn’t get all the writer memes bc he’s not an author, obviously he’s not stupid so he does find some funny

i feel he doesn’t post on social media but if a post of yours does particularly good he’ll repost it

i think I touched up on him being supportive before but yeah I’m gonna say it it again bc it truly is an honorable mention

‘(Name/pen name) has posted!’

- notification

👆💥📲

- Saiki

the emoji combo was terrible but basically that’s him about to break his screen from how hard he clicked

he’s always the first one on your posts and interacts every way possible

except comments..

which sucks cuz it boosts it a lot but he just doesn’t interact online 😭

if it’s a social media where you can see who liked, aiura and torisuka always tease Saiki for being the first like every time

“Dang your a real simp huh? Your the first like on her every post!”

- Aiura

”MAN! You don’t miss a beat do ya Saiki? I can never beat you to it 😭”

- Toritsuka

“wow..you beat me once again. The second the notification pops up you’ve already liked, reblogged and shared before I can even click on it. That’s impressive I must say, but it’s also quite annoying because I would like to be the first one to support (name) one day. In fact you do everything first! You get the books before they publish! You like all her posts first! Satire or not too!- yadda yadda yadda..”

- Akechi

“you don’t even respond to me that fast! Sometimes you leave me on read or delivered for 2 days before you answer me”

- Kaido

Saiki also sees that your friend likes your second acc too

which he would figure since you two are close

ehehe..a bit short dearest but I hope it brings you joy regardless~ 😅💞

I have much to get out..need to be more active..

[puffskeeter]

Hey I’m such a big fan of your art and I very much enjoy watching your YouTube channel 🤍🤍

And I want to ask you why you don’t ship the ppgxrrb and I want to hear your opinion about it which I can very much respect.

Plus another question that what type of fashion you think your au of the Powerpuff, Rowdyruff, and your Original Characters fall into between I really love how you draw them?

OMG TYSM!! I think i've seen your comments on my videos and TYSM for those too!! :D

I'll make a seperate post for my fashions/aesthetics for RRBORN characters! this one is pretty long even though i wanted it to be short lolz

Why i dont actively ship PPGxRRB:

I'm scrapping my drafted essay post about this for now because its really uncalled for and unnecessary. IDK sorry to anyone who looked forwards 2 it, but i just dont think i illustrate my point very well and more than half of it is lowkey a biased vent post and pure rambling. Either way this is the TLDR for the post you'll never see LOL.

But actually, I do ship PPGxRRB, i've just drifted away from it over the years. I think one of the biggest 'problems' i have with PPG x RRB is mainly with the portrayal of it. My main issue is with how a lot of people mischaracterize the RRB/PPG and completely deconstruct them as characters so that they can be love interests for the eachother and nothing more. One of my points in my scrapped post was that; I have no idea how an entire fandom managed to gender-bend the Bechdel test, but it is rare that i find PPGxRRB media where the RRB have actual lives, interests, hobbies, and friends that have nothing to do with the PPG. Half the time they can barely have a thought if it isn't about the PPG. As i said, Gender-bent Bechdel test.

Another point was that: ppgxrrb has gained a horrible reputation for itself over the years. Back in its "Glory" days, Toxic fans of the ships had bulldozed anything that differs from their favorite empty dynamics. Those usually being The Reds, Blues, and Greens. Nowadays i still see almost nothing in the realms of variety between creators interpretations of the ships. Almost every time i see a PPGxRRB post, it can fit into a set dynamic that the ship is already infamous for.

I want to be able to see the creators love and passion for their ships. I want to know how and why these characters ended up together. If a story is to be told, i want to hear it. I know that the majority of PPGxRRB creators are, by default, amateurs (they dont get paid and its not on a professional scale), but after seeing the exact same badly written love story hundreds , maybe even thousands of times with little-to-no variety, I've gotten bored and tired of people devaluing my favorite characters to be nothing more than overplayed dynamics and shipping fuel.

A lot of people like shipping because of the dynamics, but ship dynamics don't hook me in, and ive noticed that most PPGxRRB stuff is purely ship dynamics and nothing more. Theres nothing wrong with loving ship dynamics or being drawn to ships for their specific dynamics! I just dont care about dynamics, i care about chemistry and story. But most amateurs cant effectively show the chemistry or write the story, a lot of them can barely characterize the 2 characters in their ships.

FYI this isnt about anyone specific or even many recent fans of PPGxRRB. I've been in/around the online PPG fandom since before 2016, and a lot of my thoughts/feelings on the matter have a lot to do with stuff that happened over the years i've loved this series, and more specifically, The RowdyRuff Boys.

To be clear: When i say that they are mischaracterized, i'm not talking about HC's. I'm just tired of seeing the PPG and RRB dulled down into one-note personalities with stereotypical characterization and almost always no tangible character development. A love story is still a story, and a lot of shippers seem to half ass the "story" for favor of the "love".

I dont hate or even dislike PPG x RRB. I'm just really tired of rarely seeing people do the RRB justice, and i want these characters to be treated with the full respect that i think they deserve.

WOW this post is way to long already... still a lot shorter than my OG post. Sorry for being insane about the RRB. it will happen again.

[morikosa]

that thing is such a horrible person, they just keep assaulting me because they misunderstood my sentence. (and when they realised, they blocked me. such low move. throwing tomatoes.) they only replied to the reblogs which portray them as this vulnerable victim figure and smart-ass, creative 2020 come-back. and when there are reblogs which potentially ruin that image (a valid argument or evidence about them being hostile towards others) they block the person but not without sending them a (questionable) message.

even the original post is not giving because nobody receives those types of message when they just do their stuff. also, they kept bringing up about this post is old and just let it go. like isn’t that your pinned post? you’re not even letting it go so who are you talking to right now? they want to be noticed and painted off as this « morally right » person so baaad.

bro, i’m gonna be so honest with you. that thing is just obsessed with the image it wants to present itself with, a victim and online jesus. it wants, CRAVES validation. it blames others for its own actions and when there is no one to blame, the thing creates problem so it can go back to its nature. i feel so bad for you brooo, you have to deal with that type.

well i mean, the things you write does not define who you are as a person, you’re not « porn addict » lol don’t let that bother. just keep doing your thing if you feel like it honestly. i’m not all up into your business, for me, if i don’t like it, i just scroll through; wish everyone knows that by doing such a simple act they can avoid this whole ruckus and one-sided beef?

like why are you bullying a person just because they are not up to your moral standard? that’s such bs. it’s not even that deep and personal and that thing just go on whole attack mode because of what???

this is too long bro i’m gonna end it here. have a nice one. i hope you never have to deal with those kind of people anymore

Thank you so much for writing; your words made me very happy. It always makes me glad to have someone who understands me ♥

And as for that person, yes. There are always people who support him in his comments because he deletes everyone who says that what he is doing is wrong, all the comments that don't satisfy him, and he insults and blocks them.

This girl's tactic is like this: She provokes dark content writers by insulting their articles, themselves, and their families. Then, the person they insulted gets angry and responds to them, and she takes those responses as screenshots and publishes them on her account like she did to me.

She insulted me so disgusted that he blocked me, so I opened a different account and vented my anger at him (but I didn't say anything as vile as what he said). And “OMG, they insulted me, they called me bisexual, I am the victim here, give me attention, look how bad the dark content writers are,”

And she makes the person they insulted and provoked look bad.

And then she gains attention

She shows herself as a victim just to get attention.

To understand that this girl is a bad person, it is enough to look at the comments she writes. It's normal to dislike an author, but harassing her is a whole different level.

In short, she's nothing but a harassing, attention-seeking freak who makes herself look like an angel. I feel nothing but pity for her fans who support her.

And by the way, it's still hilarious that he calls me a porn addict just because I write smut, LOL.

This is a screencast from my deleted account. As a message, he said I hope you die, you will be harassed (he must like it because you write such things). Etc. Then he blocked me.

Then that account was closed, etc… and so on.

I started everything from scratch by opening this new account and even in this account he found me lol, he blocked me with insults as usual.

This person is such a characterless person.

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this message, dear. I'm glad you're here; I hope you have an excellent day ♥

I love y'all ♥

[cupidl0vesy0u]

I know my following is small, and everything was already said, but I just wanted to say something.

Just so y’all know, this is probably gonna a be long post ->

———

I as a lot of people love qsmp for it’s magic of getting people from around the world speaking and forming friendship together. And learning each other’s cultures in such a different ways.

I know I’m probably not the only one, but I’m not someone who’s from English speaking countries (America and such), I been always ‘forced’ to use English if I needed to buy or talk to someone in online spaces. And even if my culture is not that massive as others i know the pain of being made fun for my language or even country.

It’s been a lot of times I been called Russian, and getting sexualized for my looks and our countries history with them. Or people not wanting to learn and forgetting my own countries existence.

When Quackity started to stream more in Spanish I felt happiness and even if I didn’t understand him, I still tried to look for translation but only found angry comments how he should talk in English, and stopped talking Taco Bell. (I will never forgot these ‘jokes’ I know it’s hard for people who don’t know the struggle, but it still feels really disrespectful…)

But seeing this project showing people the magic of others culture, even if mine wasn’t there… I felt loved.

When Chayanne showed Germans traditions that was really similar to mine, I felt happiness at the way everyone loved it.

When new people showed up and everyone tried to learn how to say hello in their language or didn’t spoke English and used the translation instead.

I love seeing how all of their English got better or the ability to try to learn different languages even if there’s translation available.

—

I love this community and as someone who loved dsmp I really know how much this hurts.

But don’t worry! We still have each other, we made art and expressed what made it all even greater then it already was. I really appreciate you writers, artists, people who do cosplay and even people who didn’t had the courage to interact publicly in the fandom like me until now.

And the most important the Admins! I really appreciate you and what you did, even if its only giving life to ‘characters’ you played. You helped me with sadness I been feeling for while, and i think I’m not only one who said this but I wish you the best of luck on future projects, even if you decided to never interact with qsmp again.

I loved and still love this community we made, even if it had it’s downs and ups.

I will not leave, but I will try focusing on my own mental health and everyone who needs it.

I’m not comfortable with venting but if anyone just wants to talk about fanart or just have their mind on something else, feel free to dm me! I’m really bad at this, but I know it’s hard if your someone who didn’t interact online or doesn’t have irl friends or someone to talk this through with.

I know there’s probably a lot of grammar mistakes but I just wanted to share my love to everyone who was really feeling down with all this stuff happening.

I love you qsmp and even if this is the end or the new start. ❤️

[obsidianpen]

These anons scare me pen. I don't know how you can have that mental strength to read these atrocities that they say and still not let it shake you, I'm impressed, it's not surprising after all you always impress me. I really wanted to follow in your footsteps and become a writer too but I'm not as open-minded as you, and I would even say I'm not as good a person. See, your reaction to having a recommendation for a Tom/Harry/Ginny fic was great, you read the fic that the anon recommended to you and even gave your opinions and compliments about it, my reaction was much drier (and the rec didn't even it was for me!) I'm only interested in Harry and Tom/V as a romantic couple and I can't pretend to be interested in ships other than those two exclusively. And it makes me think that if I become a well-known writer, and just spread hate on the internet? I don't want to be a bad influence or anything, so it's better not to get involved in the fandom, I think. Sorry for venting like that, Pen. But like I said, I'm not a very friendly person but your opinion is one that I value, I wanted to know your opinion on... well... this problem of mine... is there any way to force myself to have a more open mind, and have any genuine interest in other ships that don't interest me at all?

oh gosh, lots to unpack here. So first of all, I should say I’m flattered that you think these things don’t shake me, I’ve certainly gotten better at brushing off the crazy entitled anonymous things I get sometimes but that is far from saying they don’t ever get to me. It always sucks when someone is a dick to you, no matter what the format. You just get used to it and better at keeping your chin up and marching on, just like with anything else.

following that, you never have to force yourself to be into anything that you’re not naturally interested in. That’s one of the great things about the fandom world online - there’s so dang many of us things it really only makes sense to write the ships/tropes/etc that you love, because there is someone else out there who loves the other stuff who is busy writing that. If you don’t want to be open to other ships, don’t be. I think most people have their OTP and once they have that they stick to it. The problems only arise if you then feel the need to turn your ship into a religion, willing to go to war to convert anyone whose not on board because you think yours is right and everyone else is going to burn in fandom hell if they don’t see the light. Just ship and let ship and there’s nothing to be sorry or upset about!

lastly - you can write to your hearts content and not be ‘involved’ in the fandom. You can just write and post things on ao3 and leave it at that, you don’t have to respond or get a tumblr or anything like that. You don’t owe the fandoms world squat, and you’d be a generous an awesome person to post your stories and leave it that!

was there any actual advice in there? Unclear lol. I think it’s just - don’t change who you are, write what you want to write, remember that you don’t owe the randos anything, and be kind!

[shifting-critters]

INTRODUCTION

Hi hello! I’m Willow! And if it ain’t obvious, I’m a reality shifter ✨✨

I go by any pronouns and I’m a minor (14-16).

More info under the cut!

What I will post:

Art, memes, tips, stories etc. all relating to reality shifting! And maybe some off topic things from here and there 😭

Boundaries:

I am chill with being friends with anyone of any age (13+) BUT don’t just randomly ask to be friends! I gotta get to know you first! So feel free to send a dm or an ask and start a conversation. I’ve had way too many bad experiences in the past with impulsively becoming friends with strangers and they always tend to be weird or rude

I do art trades! If you ever want to draw each other’s ocs or drselves (and yes, i can draw you x your s/o if ya want) don’t be shy to ask! I won’t draw anything suggestive in any way though

if ur an anti-shifter (why is that even a thing 😭) just leave bro i dont care whether you personally believe or not. Treat it like a religion: even if you don’t believe in the rules one goes by or who they worship, leave them alone!!

this is a safe space to vent! Preferably only shifting related stuff tho. sorry Rebecca but I don’t think your work drama is relevant to my blog (unless the work drama is from your dr)

i use tone tags, and it would be appreciated if you did too! You don’t have to, but sometimes i cant tell what exactly people mean online 😭

Random Stuff You Should Know:

This account is a sideblog, so that’s why any asks I send will be anonymous with a link to this profile. That’s also why you may be followed by Estelle-skully, bc that’s my main blog :p

The name “shifting-critters” comes from my little reality shifting group- while only I post here, Hunter (he/him) and Orville (she/her) will probably be mentioned a lot! Most of our drs are groupshifting drs

Whenever I say “touchdown” I’m talking about shifting. Don’t ask

I always portray the critters as animals: Hunter is a monkey, Orville is a rat, and I’m a ram/sheep

I have a tiktok account!!!!!!!! It’s Shifting_critters if you’re interested in checking it out

Master Posts:

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

[luaspersona]

hey y’all, how have you been?

i know it’s been a while, and i know i promised a fic that was supposed to be posted earlier this month and that it’s been some time since i dropped a review. but a lot of stuff happened and i realized that i needed some time off. during that time, i reflected a lot and considered not returning, maybe only posting the seoul town road story and going offline for good. eventually tho, i understood how much i missed reading and how much i couldn’t really stop coming up with ideas and outlining some stories — i like this and for the most part, it makes me really happy.

but i wanted to talk a bit about the stuff that made me second-thought coming back. i wanted to be open about stuff that’s depressing and demotivating in this community, especially because i’ll change a lot of things about how i interact here.

this will be a long text, but it’s really important if you follow me. i wanna make it clear tho, before anything, that i’m speaking for myself here, and myself only.

⇢ the first thing i wanna say is that i’ll be generally less active. i used to think that in order to become a popular blog or whatever i had to be chronically online, posting all the time and all. after giving it some thought, i can't really tell if that's true or not, but the thing is: i don’t have the mental health for it. so i won't push myself. but also, if you write something and want me to read it, please send it to me! shamelessly and guiltlessly promote your work! i probably won’t see it on the feed, but i’m always open for recommendations, i just don't have the time to look for it anymore.

⇢ i’ll also go through my followers and block anyone who doesn’t have their age displayed or looks like a bot. no questions asked. this isn’t a blog for minors, and i wanna protect myself. understand how tumblr works if y’all wanna be here.

⇢ i will finish and post seoul town road soon. please be patient. 

⇢ lately, i’ve seen a lot of wonderful writers deactivate due to lack of interaction and support. i understand we’re here working, writing and sharing for free because we *chose to*, but it's hard to speak to the void. so please, don’t let this become a place where authors are talking to themselves while feeling unsafe due to plagiarism or hate. i understand the reasons why someone might be a silent reader, but... just don't make the authors you like feel alone, y'all (i can write some tips and general guides for reviewing and interacting with writing blogs if y’all are interested).

⇢ ok, so… i thought a lot about whether or not to talk about it. it was already super messy, even if i wasn’t online at the time and didn’t see it happening (i'm sorry if this is just repetition, and i bet y'all are sick of it). but ultimately, the main reason why i hesitated to come back was because of what happened to M, so i kinda need to vent about that.

M was one of the oldest blogs here, always open to chat and interact and doing god's work for our horny and sentimental souls (shape of your body is actually one of my favorite stories ever and made me realize a bunch of stuff about myself to the point where i quoted some of it to my therapist at the time), and y’all came for them in such a nasty, violent way, misgendering and attacking a person that, upon first being called out for writing something insensitive, was immediately open to discussion and hearing what y’all had to say (regardless if it really was insensitive or not, the discussion was more than welcomed by them).

what shocks me the most, is that y’all are supposedly from a fandom of a bunch of dudes who once wrote problematic stuff, but educated themselves after accepting criticism and changed. if y’all understand that our oppressions are systematic, y’all have to understand that everyone has stuff to learn and stuff to let go. i say that as a black woman, who once used to perpetrate racist shit because that was how i was raised and taught. i say that as a bi woman, who once used to perpetrate biphobic and queerphobic rhetoric because that was how i was raised and taught. i say that as a human being, who once used (and probably still do to some capacity) to perpetrate prejudice and problematic behavior because that was how i was raised and taught.

this is not to say we should forgive and forget whenever someone says stuff that’s wrong or suspicious, but sometimes people really don’t understand that what they’ve said is offensive or from a place of unfamiliarity (not sure if that's a real word), and if we gave the boys the benefit of the doubt and still supported them (and are now being rewarded with their care and attention) why can’t we do the same for ourselves? not to mention how transphobic most of y’all were, all while calling someone out for doing something you deemed problematic, like ??? fuck y’all tbh. seeing how they were treated, and learning about the tea blog made me physically sick. someone who has always been such a light in this community being dragged from one (debatable) mistake — which they acknowledged and apologized for — made me depressed af.

it all made this look like stan twitter, where every interaction feels like an attempt to expose someone and draw hate towards them. this makes me feel unsafe as hell. and i don’t know… this whole environment is not as it used to be. there were a bunch of nice projects i wanted to share, i was working on jade’s profile for a nice little thing i wanted to do to support the writing community, i was working on monthly recs, but… idk. i’m not saying i won’t do them, just saying it might take longer for me to feel comfortable here again.

⇢ i know i'm no one. i'm a little blog from the corner of our community, and i barely have enough followers for all of this to mean anything. but this is still my blog, and it's still a place that was supposed to feel good. and i want to have some control over it, even if no one cares necessarily.

anyway. i’m depressed, and i’m saying stuff i might regret, but. yeah. that’s it ig. i'll return slowly and i missed y'all, especially on discord, and i'm sorry for vanishing. i'll also be rb this for the next days to make sure that i reaches everyone i want it to reach.

[whentheleahvesfall]

It’s difficult to know for certain now what I want to do with my life. I know a lot of the time I do ramble a lot both irl and I guess online, but a lot of the time I feel lost and without purpose without feeling I have a good place in the world. Whilst I know I’ve been wanting to get back into doing art and writing, I guess finishing uni has made me think a lot about the ups and downs of my life and how far I’ve gotten to the place I am now. I dunno… I feel lost? Scared? A mixture of it all? I haven’t the slightest clue at the moment.

I don’t know how many of you guys who read my posts a lot of the time know about this, but I’ve got Autism. I’ve had it since I’ve been about 8 years old, and for the last 13-14 years of my life knowing I’ve had this as something affecting me, it’s made me question a lot about the stuff I’m good at.

Am I good at being a writer, an artist, a student or even just a person?

What do I offer that I feel is a strength for myself?

Do I even consider myself a person who deserves to be loved, despite fearing he always constantly upsets people?

And… I guess that’s how I’ve been really feeling. A lot of the time, I don’t know whether anything I’m doing is something to be considered “good”. Do I belong here? Do I keep making mistakes so much that people don’t want to be around me?

Maybe I overthink things a lot and that’s what these thought patterns are. Yet when you’re a guy who has mostly dealt with things on his own for most of his life, I uh… I don’t know how to really be me in a stream full of people.

I guess maybe I’m not someone who can answer these questions I have about myself. But despite that, I worry a lot of the time. An awful lot. And even still, underneath it all… I feel like I’d like to try and be who I am for what I am, but my brain and the way my life’s been up until now makes me question if I do have a place in this world for people to even appreciate just myself.

For what it’s worth, thank you for everyone who has liked the dumb stuff I’ve done since I first joined Tumblr or who know me from elsewhere. I don’t know why people enjoy it for what it is as I don’t consider myself good by any means, but it does make me smile knowing there are at least a few of you who do like me for me.

I’m just thinking about I suppose what’s next for me. Do I continue to just try and participate in the communities I’m in? Or fade away and hope people forget about me so I move on with just perhaps living a normal life?

I… I’m not honestly sure. I wish I knew how to be positive for myself and to keep moving forward, but without much of a goal, what do I really hope to accomplish for myself? Do I make any of you guys happy? It’s okay if I don’t too, but I feel maybe I need to reflect better on myself, but I don’t know how.

I don’t usually ramble a lot on my blog, and for good reason as I don’t know how many of you genuinely care about the guy behind the scuffed shit and I guess see me for… I don’t know, the dumb nerd with a like for Mudkips?

I may be mistaken, but as this point I really can’t say for sure. Maybe these feelings of mine will subside, but as they are not going away right now, I guess I’ll throw them here and see what happens.

If you got to the end, then thanks. I’m sorry for making this feel overly negative about me, but I suppose sometimes when you really just want to find a way to vent… you gotta do it in the way that helps you to feel better. Sorry again.

I don’t know how much of this is my Autism, but… hopefully one day I’ll get over these doubts. Probably just not right now.

[matheoxs]

LITTLE BIT OF VENT?? Scroll if you don’t wanna read..

Just cut off this girl, some of y'all know I was trying to manifesting my sp, but stopped cause like this who used to date me said she wanted to make things work again. We broke basically, but we were still friends, and we both still like each other, basically a situationship.

This fucking girl ruined my fucking life, okay? While we were trying to make things work cause it didn't work last time, and while we were making things work, she went on sending pics to another guy. So, I asked her, "Did you think of me while sending it? Like did the thought of me give you courage to not do it?" She didn't even fucking respond to that text. She will always put blames on me cause she doesn't like being the "bad guy." God, I did everything for this girl, but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at other guys. She didn't make me feel seen and wanted like im supposed to be your man??.

When I'm saying I did everything, I'm saying from the bottom of my heart. Even when I was crying, I was still trying to listen to her. Even when I felt like my heart was broken, I was still listening to her problems. It didn't matter what I have going on and what I'm feeling, I still did stuff for her. I loved her unconditionally, even after the pics. I fucking forgave her, and look, I did some bad things too. I apologize for it. I tried to change for her, but she was never patient with me. Whenever I'm around her, I feel this feeling like I need her in my life, and if she's out of my life, I won't be able to live. This shit has been going on for fucking 3 years, yeah, 3 fucking years talking with her.

The truth is, I didn't need her, and that made me realize who I am. Like, what the fuck am I doing? I think the reason why I couldn't manifest my dream life is because of the feelings the relationship was giving me. It distracted me, made me think the opposite, or maybe I'm just assuming?

But anyways, I blocked her, deleted the pics she sent to me, well, yk, those kind of pics (I never asked if she just send it to me cause she felt really comfortable around me and safe) . And cause that's not who I am, I don't go posting people's bodies online. No matter how much a person gets me mad, I will never reveal that shit, cause that person trusted me with it.

Now, I feel like me, l feel like I can manifest my dream life. I feel like I can do anything, and I am going to get it cause it's supposed to be mine.

And no im not gonna manifest her back I don’t like being disrespected but I will manifest that my relationship with the sp to be healthy cause god im tired i did so much but im not gonna stop right? Like will a person who’s living their dream life will be accepting this ? No.

[xitsensunmoon]

Main FAQ

First of all, let's make it clear - this blog is my home. You're not a "customer" and you're not "always right", you are a guest. If you don't like anything that happens here, just leave, scroll away or block. I will not change anything just because you don't like it.

Before sending an ask, please also check my bio. Surprisingly a lot of people don't do even that. Let's go.

Can I use your work for a profile picture/wallpaper on my device? Can I print your stuff?

You can take my work for personal use if you don't get any profit from it. If it's online - credit me.

Can I dub/translate your comics?

Yes but with few conditions.

1. You credit me as an original creator. If it's a video you put the credits in the video, not in the description. If it's a post you put them in the post itself, not in the comments.

2. You do not put your watermark on my work/do not erase my watermark. You also don't colour it/don't "fix" it. It's my work and my work alone.

3. You do not change the dialogue/add phrases that weren't said by the characters. Again, it is my work, it's my interpretation and I will not tolerate you taking my work and changing it to your liking.

4. If you want to profit from my work - you don't have my permission.

5. You take down videos/posts with my work if I ask you to.

If any of these don't suit you - you don't have my permission.

Can I make an AI bot of your character?

Hard no. Roleplay bots are almost always using public fanfiction without the consent of the authors, not paying for their hard work but using it for profit, it's theft and I'm not going to contribute to that. I'm already considering removing my own bots from Character AI, as ch.ai still doesn't tell the public how they're training their bots so we'll see about that.

Anything that is absolutely off the table when sending an ask?

- Please don't vent to me. I'm not a professional phycologist and I never agreed to play the role of one. I also avoid questions like "I had a bad day, can you draw[ ]?" because after them my inbox becomes a venting place. Please seek professional help if you feel like every day is worse than the previous.

- Please do not send me anything NS///FW. As much as I can support suggestive content, explicit stuff will be immediately deleted and if you make me uncomfortable I probably will block you. No hard feelings but Tumblr is an SFW place for me. If you see me reblog something not SFW, it was probably made by my friend or with previous discussion and proper mature labels for everything.

Can I send you a DM, not an ask?

After some not-very-pleasant experiences that made me uncomfortable, I closed my DM's for everyone except my mutuals. But you're still free to send me asks about anything(within reasonable limits ofc).

Can I write a fic based on your art? Can I use your ideas in my works?

About ideas - ask first. I can get protective over one idea but completely don't care about the other one. If I said yes, credit me as an original source.

Can I draw a fanart/write you a fic?

Of course!! I'm absolutely happy to see anything! Also please tag me when you're done. If it's one of my au's - use specific tags for fanart so even if dumb Tumblr doesn't send me your tag, I will eventually bump into it browsing the tag!<3 (you can also tag me again if you think I didn't see your fan work, I absolutely don't mind!!) Also, feel free to drop an ask with a link too!

Can I tag you in other stuff?

As I already said you can absolutely tag me for any type of fan content(it doesn't even need to be yours). Memes are fine too, just don't do it every day alright?

Why don’t you answer my ask?

It can be one of these reasons:

1. I want to answer your ask with an art piece/comic. It takes time.

2. Your question contains spoilers so I'm keeping it for later when the truth can be revealed =]

3. I'm busy. Yeah.

4. I've already answered something similar/I don't want to answer your question so your ask got deleted.

When will you continue working on [insert whatever]?

When I can. I'm not pausing my things just to spite you. Most of the time I'm just busy or I simply don't have the energy to do anything. To everyone who says stuff like "oh well we've been waiting for a few months already!!" - I'm not here to entertain you. I'm here to have fun and share it with other people and you're currently ruining it. I will block anyone who is doing this continuously.

Can you draw my characters?

For free? No, I don't accept requests like that. You can commission me though. When my commissions are open of course. I will open DMs when it happens.

What content are you okay/not okay with?

Admiring of any of these in real life: terrorism, racism, rape, war, sexism, misogyny, transphobia, homo/queerphobia, pedophilia, sex trafficking, mental illnesses. If the content tries to show how terrible these things are I am mostly okay with it.

Is there anything I should watch out for on your page?

Dark themes, suggestive themes, and sometimes negative ones. I'm not afraid to draw violence, blood and gore. Dark humour. In general, I don't recommend anyone who's under 16 to be here but it's always your responsibility for what you're about to see.

In your bio, it says russians DNI? Is it about every russian or only those who support the war?

I don't care if you're a good russian or not, I don't care about your opinions and worldview. I don't want you in here. I have no time nor desire to try and understand how good you are. As a Ukrainian, I have all the right to tell all russians and people who admire anything connected to them to go fuck yourself. It's my safe place and I don't feel safe with zz's in it. Do you feel like I'm being "too categorical"? Don't make it my problem and leave. End of conversation.

Even WITHOUT war context (which I actually huge and should NOT be ignored) this post explains pretty well why this boundary exists.

What is your stance on reposting your artwork/fics?

The only cases when I allow reposting are dubs/translations with credits and all the other rules that I mentioned earlier. In other cases, no, do not repost my artwork. Doesn’t matter if you credit, I said no.

I saw your art somewhere but I'm sure you weren't the one to post it.

I post on Tumblr and Tiktok, my nickname always contains "xitsen" in it. You also could possibly see the dubs of my stuff on YouTube, as I allow these. Please send me an ask with a link to the repost if it's somewhere else. I will try to solve the situation myself.

Can I use your work as a reference? Can I trace/copy it?

Reference? Yes. If it's very obvious - credit me too. Trace/copy? No. No. And no. It's straight-up stealing.

What pronouns do you use?

She/they. Please don't refer to me in masculine terms.

What art program(s) do you use? Drawing tablet? Brushes?

For art pieces 90% of the time it's Paint Tool Sai 2, sometimes Photoshop and Krita. For animations, it's rather Toon Boom Premium or Krita.

My tablet is fucking 6 years old, Wacom something. They don't sell these anymore so I couldn't even find the model lmao.

Brushes - standard SAI brushes, watercolour for shading and brush for line art. If it's textured I use my custom one, you can create it yourself if you use SAI.

Don't mind the text quality please lmao. I literally had to copy it from Google for English translation. But the settings are mine yeah

Your "r" looks like "z"-

I know. Just let me be with my handwriting please lmao.

If you struggle with reading it this post with my alphabet can help you.

Why do you call [character] a whore??

It's an inside joke that suddenly became bigger than we expected. A silly, a funny, a goofy. It's not slut shaming if you thought it was. I love to joke about characters being whores in the most affectionate and lighthearted way possible even when the character clearly has no bitches. It even doesn't need to be sexual. Just a hee-hee ha-ha.

Probably gonna update it in future because I'm fucking sure I forgor something.

[devilshills]

“everyone go report this post for suicidal idealization right now so that the police can find their IP address and go to their house . you have no excuse not to reblog this and if you ignore it you are a bad person” do you actually know how messed up that wording is ?? I know you are trying to help , but you are both making people with OCD heavily uncomfortable and you could potentially be putting someone’s life at risk . some of us need to vent online because we cannot afford a therapist and we live in abusive households . our abusers would act all sad in front of the police to us dealing with suicidal thoughts , but you don’t want to know how our abusers would react once the police left . it can be heavily dangerous for both minors and even adults . the fact that we can’t even trust people online to keep us and our secrets safe due to a vent post is disheartening . don’t make our safe place into an unsafe place .

“why don’t you contact any of your irl friends or an association that can help you ?” I did . for years in a row . and you know what ? I only wasted my time and energy because a lot of people love to pretend they care , but they won’t even check in your direction when you are hanging between life or death . “just get a job to afford your own house” well , what do you think I am trying to do ? as if getting my own place will actively stop abusers anyway . even if people like me do manage to leave , a whole bunch of us is currently dealing with trauma bonding , which will most likely make us regret leaving and we may go back to our source of pain because the abuse is familiar and our brain doesn’t know what to do or who we are if we are not actively being abused . for the record , most of us are not allowed to go away in the first place .

may I mention , a lot of people will suicide bait you , so please be careful who you put your energy into . there’s people who enjoy themselves when they see you suffering for them , and they will keep the act for as long as you allow them to . if you genuinely feel that someone is lying about suicide , take care of yourself first . I am begging you .

also , tag your stuff correctly . I sometimes forget to tag triggers when reposting something , but I always check later if it’s necessary to tag anything that I might have missed . if I have missed an important tag in a post , let me know . anyway , if you wouldn’t like to accidentally get triggered , well , then don’t do something you know will trigger others on purpose just because you didn’t bother taking five seconds of your time to add a couple of hashtags . I am tired of seeing posts about suicide when I am not in the mood .

[aachria]

YOOOOO IM GOING TO COLLAGE SOON. (Venting post to you pooks) Scared af but is it safe to say you're like, a lil older then me and that has me gawking cause what😀, all this time i kinda subconciously think that you're a young adult(ik you're in collage but brain is a weird thing) but turns out noooooo we're probably one or two years apart.

Point is, you made such a jaw dropping stomach clutching fanfiction of the year and is so much better then actual book writers?? At a young age too!(no hate to them but hear me out, some gives me the ick dont @ me🙏) You give online classes boo? Cause im boutta sign tf up. My writing needs upgrades.

Good day😘

Y’all please don’t remind me I’m getting old I never mentally got past 16 😭

Would it make you feel better or worse to know I did a gap year (kinda, I did an extra semester of high school after grad because I thought it would be fun then worked the rest).

We’re in this together pooks I’m going back to college in a new program with like TWO people I know so I am afraid again. But be for real college is only scary until like the second week when you have some idiot who wants to be your friend to make faces at whenever your profs say something fucking stupid. You’ll be fine babe it becomes more annoying than scary and then you’ll feel goofy for stressing abt it. I BELIEVE IS US WE GOT THIS!!!

No but fr sometimes I read stuff by published authors then I go read something I’ve written and I’m like oh… how did… now how did that…

But like slay good for them scamming the system and getting paid for it they’re my hero’s ✨✨

Only writing advice I got to my name is be funny always, use commas and dashes like vanilla extract in baking, don’t be afraid to have your characters be stupid and fuck things up, if you can emotionally invest people sucker punching them in the gut is 10x easier and 10x more painful, and NOTHING is sexier than devotion and yearning. NOTHING. Also foreshadow everything. Trust me on that one, even if you don’t know what you’re foreshadowing, FORESHADOW IT. No idea what your next big reveal should be? Go build the entire thing around an offhand comment someone made in the beginning. It’ll be so funny do it.

Shit guess I do have advice. Damn how did that happen???

[memesomething]

here are some dotpoints

you are allowed to make a post asking for affection (sometimes a good way to do this is just to ask for people to like your post to express affection - people are usually very willing to do this!)

“nobody wants to write with me maybe I should delete” might be how you feel, but posting it publicly on the dash simply does come off as a little manipulative. maybe try, “i would like some more interactions as i’m feeling a little discouraged at the moment, would anyone be interested in a starter?” or possibly asking others for starters, yourself! added benefit of having a more practical solution that you can make happen yourself, you are a great source of power to resolve things that make you sad

sometimes there will be people who post things you simply disagree with or are not on the same page about. it is always at all times totally valid to think, “i just am not going to do that, I don’t think it is worth the energy” and scroll on by, or block them. those are both good and readily available options

your roleplay partners generally want you to have a good time, the same way you want them to have a good time. if you can say ‘hey i am really enjoying this and i think [abc] might be fun to explore’, they will probably be glad you’re communicating.

if someone says ‘hey i’m really enjoying this and i think [abc] might be fun to explore’, you can say ‘no thank you’. No is a complete answer. there does not have to be an explanation attached

you deserve to feel safe in all of the spaces you occupy including your online spaces. it is your responsibility to curate your online space because literally nobody else is able to curate that space for you, but other people are often willing to participate how they can, and it does not hurt to ask. 

if you are unsure about something, it does not hurt to ask

in general, ‘it does not hurt to ask’ is a good rule. be prepared for the answer to be ‘no’ and to do what you need to do if the answer is ‘no’, you can’t control anyone besides yourself, but you are allowed to ask for what you want 

i know it is hard but be careful how you use your language to talk about yourself. being mean and self-insulting isn’t really funny, you deserve to think nice things about yourself. if you cannot think nice things about yourself maybe start by saying nice things, stuff tends to find a way in if you say it often enough 

i think it’s healthy to have one or two friends you can vent to about things. it is probably healthiest to start with, ‘hey, do you have space for me to vent a little/a lot rn?” but using your support network is what you’re supposed to do, if one person says no you can reach out to someone else!

often your support network is bigger than you think it is, you are always able to simply ask

be kind to one another