#And I Missed The Room Swap Date and The Regret is Eating me Up like i ugh i can't do this i don't i don't

[ame-to-ame]

love being nd and have the tism wolf Inside me be so drastically uncomfortable with uncertainty that i physically cannot think about school and having to deal w the unknown of that whole situation without losing 5lbs in 2 days

[hiccanna-tidbits]

@jackunzel-time

Jackunzel Month Week 2 - Coming of Age

***

"Okay, can I look now?"

"Not yet!"

The kitchen is once again filled with the sounds of Rapunzel banging around, plates and dishware clattering as she searches the fridge. Jack's got a sneaking suspicion this all has something to do with the huge, tinfoil-covered mound on the top shelf.

For an entire week, Rapunzel insisted they put every ounce of leftovers in the bottom half of the fridge, ignoring the Mysterious Object™️like a leaky faucet you handn't gotten around to fixing. Not that Rapunzel doesn't occasionally need her home fridge for work-related things, but she isn't normally cagey about it.

Jack once again resists the urge to peek out of the blindfold.

"Come ooooon, Zellie! This anticipation is going to kill me before our starving artist lifestyle does."

Rapunzel laughs. "Starving? I'll have you know, sir, that I've had no less than 5 whole french fries today!"

Considering it was 9 pm, this was not an ideal french fry quota. Rapunzel definitely had time to eat more fries today.

Jack wonders idly if Rapunzel's just getting too caught up in her work to take lunch breaks, or if her manager is crunching her deadlines again.

Before he can get too far into plotting how he would swap her boss's salt and sugar without getting Rapunzel in trouble, he hears the distinctive sound of a lighter.

"Are you torching our apartment?" he asks. "Because if so, I'm very offended I wasn't invited to participate."

Rapunzel scoffs. "Don't be silly! Like I'd set the place on fire without getting home insurance first. And it isn't as though either of us can afford that."

"You're still making me nervous. Usually I'm the one who plays the pranks."

"Hmmm, well...that would have been a good idea, actually." Rapunzel sounds a little regretful. "But no tricks today, I promise. Now open your eyes!"

And at last, Jack gets to see what all the fuss is about.

A stunning, snow-white cake sits in the middle of their dining room table, covered in sparkly silver candy orbs and carefully sculpted fondant snowflakes. All around the side are little hand-painted winter scenes, meticulously crafted by an icing brush in a process that must've taken hours. On top, a "2" and a "6" candle sit ablaze.

Rapunzel, of course, spends all day at work decorating cakes. It's her career. (Or, at least, it has been for the past 6 months--the longest she's gone without leaving a job to date.)

It still seems like she went the extra mile with this one.

"What--" For a long moment, all Jack can do is stare with his mouth hanging open.

"What the hell," he says finally. "How did I forget today was my birthday???"

Rapunzel's surprise quickly turns to laughter.

"Oh my god, how did you forget?"

Easy for her to say. Back when Rapunzel lived with her crazy mom, who practically kept her a prisoner in her own house, birthdays were easily the most interesting thing that happened all year. Birthdays with the Overlands were always much more...lowkey, so to speak.

"In my defense!" He holds up his hands. "Nothing interesting happens when you turn 26. Pretty much all the milestones are finished, so it's just another orbit around the sun."

"Nonsense!" Rapunzel sticks her lip out in disapproval. "That's no way to talk about your coming-of-age ceremony!"

"Coming-of-age?" He raises his eyebrows. "I think we missed the cutoff for that a while ago."

"Well, 26 is your age now." She crosses her arms, chin up defiantly. "And you have come to it. So therefore you have come of age."

He chuckles. "Is that how that works?"

"Why not? Teenagers and college kids shouldn't get to have all the fun!"

"My point still stands, though," he argues. "You don't really...unlock the same kind of stuff in your 20s that you do when you're younger. It's not like there are new magical adventures that you suddenly have access to when the clock strikes 12 on your 26th birthday."

"Says who?"

His girlfriend's conniving smirk sends a wave of excitement through him. What is she plotting?

"Did you find an elite 26-and-over club to join?"

"Not exactly." She leans over the table, smirk widening. "But someone did have a chat with your boss about how many great snowscape photo opportunities there are in the mountains, and how you're going to need to not come into the office for while to get all the best shots."

Jack's eyes widen as her meaning dawns on him. "And Mr. North was cool with that? Me taking a vacation right before the holidays?"

"I mean. He could hardly resist the offer of having his best photographer out getting festive snapshots for the December issue of the magazine. You'd do more good on the field than stuck behind an editing desk, right?"

"No kidding."

Jack sits down, getting ready to blow out the unexpected birthday candles. He pauses, something occurring to him.

"Wait, what about you? I'm not about to go off and leave you to handle the bakery's holiday rush on your own!"

Rapunzel hums thoughtfully.

"Well, funny thing. I told our head baker that I just hadn't been feeling very inspired lately. And if I went somewhere, say, fresh and exciting, then the muse was sure to strike again and I'd pump out a collection of the most beautiful winter cakes the bakery's ever known. Ones to really send that holiday profit flooding in."

"So...you snuck around and got us both a week off for my birthday by spinning it as a work trip? And on top of that, you just casually whipped out the most gorgeous birthday cake I've ever seen in my life?"

She nods, beaming.

"You're my goddamn hero."

He stands up and sweeps her into his arms, pulling her into a kiss worthy of being the Big Dramatic Finale to any coming-of-age film. All these years later, and it still feels like cameras should be spinning around them with rock music building into a triumphant crescendo.

Maybe that's cheesy, but to hell with it.

"Have I ever mentioned I'm in love with you?" he murmurs against her lips.

"I would hope so, Overland. We've been dating for 9 years now."

***

Half a hazelnut chocolate cake and two celebratory hot cocoas later, Jack finds himself being dragged toward the car in the encroaching darkness of 5:30 pm.

"Zel, what--"

"Come on! I booked us a night in a cabin, and we need to take off before the roads get icy. It's supposed to snow in a couple hours!"

"But what about--"

"I packed the car while you were at work." Rapunzel doesn't miss a beat. "Don't worry, I grabbed all your favorite sweaters! Your snowboarding stuff too. And the sleeping bags. And the cozy socks. And the snow chains. And the binoculars. And the sled. And the scarves."

He doesn't have time to form a reply before he's being bundled into the front seat and covered in one of his favorite fluffy blankets. The sheer amount of alpine field guides and brochures on the car floor make him do a double take.

"You have an itinerary?" he asks, surprised.

She hums uncertainly as she pulls out of the driveway.

"Well...nothing too rigid. No coming-of-age road trip of self-discovery can be that structured, or else it might get in the way of spontaneous epiphanies about who you truly are, right?"

"Right."

Rapunzel looks like she's about to burst open with what she isn't saying.

"I sense a 'but' there."

"I did find a really cute place for us to sled." The dam breaks as Rapunzel pulls out of the driveway. "And there's this secluded little mountain animal rescue we have to see. And this four-star cafe we can stop at for hot cider and soup, and this really pretty snowy hike that I don't think is too tiring. Also this ski and snowboard slope we can check out if we have time, with this really cozy lodge, and--"

She cuts herself off mid-sentence as soon as she picks up that all this might be a little overwhelming.

"Buuuuut," she amends slowly. "It's not like I've put down a deposit for anything. We could just drive through the mountains and stop whenever we feel the urge. Find the best secret spots and have them to ourselves, you know? Have deep conversations and be alone with nature and reconnect with our humanity and our sense of purpose. Or something like that."

He can't help but laugh at the way her brow scrunches as she goes deep into thought.

"That sounds great."

"Do you...have a preference?" She gives him a searching look as they pull onto the freeway, already glowing with streetlamps and taillights. "Agenda or no agenda?"

"Whatever you're down for, I'm down for. Hell, I'm just happy to have an unexpected week of vacation."

"I guess that's the thing about these types of 'finding yourself' stories. You kind of have to figure them out as you go along."

"Then let's do some figuring!"

Rapunzel hits the gas, and off they go into the winter sunset, bound for their next coming-of-age adventure. One to perhaps be followed by many more, depending on how many future ages they deem it significant to "come to."

***

Tfw you keep aging but The Blorbos™️do not, so the only logical solution is to force them to age with you XD God dammit, if I have to be in my mid-20s, then so do my comfort characters!!!

Fr tho, I often find myself wishing there were more aged-up AUs in the RotBTD fandom. Most fandom olds returning to (or who stayed in) the fandom aren't the teenagers we were when we first got into the big four anymore, so...why not let them grow up with us??? It's not like their canon ages are some sacred, set-in-stone thing that can't be changed since people do in fact get older as time passes ajdnlshbf

And like!!! Don't get me wrong, I love a well-done high school or college AU, and they can be a lot of fun!!! But I think as I've gotten older I wonder more about how the RotBTD kids would navigate adulthood, and how they would change/adapt and how they would stay the same throughout their lives.

Jackunzel I feel like would be one of those couples who would just be it for each other. Like they get together in late high school--probably junior or senior year--and everyone keeps waiting for the spark to die in college and for them to get stir-crazy (as people who get into committed relationships young often do) or bored of each other, and they just. Don't. MFs hit 30 and are still in the honeymoon phase with no sign of getting out XD

Rapunzel is so right here btw. Twenty-somethings DO deserve to have indie coming-of-age dramas made about them!!! Kids and teens and college students shouldn't get to have all the fun!!! Besides, there's plenty of growing/maturing still to do in young adulthood, so why stop writing stories about that just because the people in question are out of school??? Tbh I'm so tired of movies with adult protagonists being either fluffy (hetero) romcoms or a drama about Some Guy with a wife and kids like??? There are other types of adults besides straights in the dating pool and middle-aged people with tidy little nuclear families!!! I promise!!!

Guess I'll just have to write all those funky little RotBTD twenty-something AUs myself ajshdkuys

Shout-out to the RotBTD discord for giving me the idea of having Rapunzel be a cake decorator and Jack be a photographer! I sometimes struggle a bit with future career ideas for the RotBTD kids, but these fit really well :D Jack definitely seems like the kind of person who would like something freelance and loose-scheduled where he basically gets paid to capture the beauty in the world around him :O And we know Rapunzel can bake, and she likes art, so...

CAKE ART CAKE ART CAKE ART CAKE ART

VERY happy I found that snowflake-and-orb cake, because that definitely seems like something Jack would enjoy 🤍❄️ And now I kind of want to try it 👀👀👀I DO have to wonder how they did that little picture with the tree and the car :O

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 | h.c

navigation | requests : open | 5th february 2021

pairing : midoriya, bakugou, todoroki x gn!reader [separate]

genre : angst to fluff

warnings : season 3 spoilers, violence, eating, drinks

themes : heartbreak, idiocy, violence

: since the training camp you had been a target for the league of villains you fought hard to get your classmate back and that made you an instant target since you showed how powerful you can be but that also means no one can know about your relationship with [ - ], if they did that would be mean he’s also a target and the thought of that terrified you, so it’s for the best.. right.

> quirk : telekinesis | eleven stranger things |

[ midoriya ]

> it was no secret that you’re powerful

> deku trained with you a lot so he knew what you were capable of

> he was the one who truly let you embrace your quirk praising you

> he always told you he’s proud of you afterwards

> so when you told him you couldn’t be with him anymore he was devastated

-> scenario

> you had been thinking about the threat of the lov and how much they wanted to get rid of you, it’s a matter of time before people catch you going to cafes and on dates with the green haired boy, since you were getting more publicity each time a villain attacked it was difficult sneaking around

> breaking up with deku never once crossed your mind, only for his safety, he was already a target but they don’t know he’s all mights successor so you’re still a lot more targeted but if the lov found out you’re dating? you could only imagine the worst

> you knocked on his door, he opened it with a smile on his face as usual ‘hey baby’ he pulled you into a hug, noticing you trying not to hug him back he looked at your face ‘hey is something wrong?’

> you were trying so hard to keep a straight face, to make this hurt as much as possible so he wouldn’t come back, you knew if he tried to get you back you wouldn’t be able to resist

> ‘izuku..’ you paused breathing in, ‘we can’t be together anymore’ he looked at you for a couple seconds before breaking out in a laugh, ‘ very funny, don’t say things like that!, we need to finish that series we were watching..wait-’

> your face hadn’t changed, the only different being the small beads forming under your eyes, ‘you’re being serious?’ he said with a shaky voice, his eyes were slightly shiny tears threatening to form, his entire face fell

> ‘i’m sorry’ was all you said before you attempted to leave only being stopped by his hand ‘midoriya let go-’

> ‘not until you tell me why, y/n we’re so happy, you were happy yesterday and now you’re saying you don’t want this anymore? what happened, you told me you loved me, was that a lie’

> you tried so so hard not to sob yelling how much you love him right there but you already started crying

> ‘y-you’re crying, why would you be crying if you don’t care about me, if you didn’t care you would’ve left minutes ago so why’

> ‘izuku i couldn’t keep putting you in fucking danger it’s driving me insane, we can’t go out to eat without worrying someone will recognise us and hunt you down, i need you to be safe and this is the only way’ you pulled your arm away from him wiping away the tears on your cheeks

> he pulled you back towards him his nose touching yours, you didn’t push him away, he took his thumb swiping it across your cheek wiping it of the fresh tears

> ‘then we’ll deal with it together, not apart’

[ bakugou ]

> he knew how you felt because everytime aizawa mentioned being targeted he couldn’t help but notice you not looking at him or glancing at him as much

> you comforted him after each nightmare or any doubts he had after he got kidnapped

> whispering to him while he layed in your arms ‘bakugou you are the strongest person i know, you can’t blame yourself for anything, nobody blames you, they never have’

> you were his comfort, his teddybear

-> scenario

> the last few days you had been distant from him which didn’t make him worry much since you’re both busy sometimes and you both understood that

> but when you refused to look at him and gave him short answers after class he got worried

> ‘y/n, what the fuck is happening’ you couldn’t look him in the eyes

> you put on your best straight face and said ‘bakugou we can’t be together’

> there was silence for a couple seconds

> ‘teddy bear..’

> it hurt, it hurt so bad seeing him upset over you, you couldn’t even comfort him, so you left

> you sat with the dekusquad afraid of running into him and sobbing

> after you left he stood there for a couple seconds, he wiped away a couple tears forming as all the memories of you flashed through his head in a second, he held the necklace you got together, a promise necklace

> he sat at his normal table not talking to anyone only glancing at you, you weren’t talking to anyone either, not even touching the food in front of you

> after a couple minutes you got up and grabbed your bag after the many protests from todoroki and midoriya telling you to eat

> mina saw you getting up ‘hey bakugou is y/n okay?’ he only ignored her watching as you hurried off to what seemed to be the girls bathrooms, mina followed after you. he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t worried

> ‘y/n?.. wait are you okay, come out of the toilets’ she watched as you slowly came out with puffy under eyes and teary eyes ‘oh my god y/n what happened’, you explained everything, how you broke up with him because of how dangerous it was being with him, how he would be safer without you

> ‘y/n i’ve never seen bakugou happier then when he’s with you, if things are meant to be with you two then things will work out, i promise’

> you both walked back to class only to see him and a couple students already there, you weren’t planning on going back to lesson saying you’re injured but you knew aizawa would’ve sent you to recovery girl only for there be nothing to recover from

> you sat in your seat trying your hardest not to cry or move or even glance at him

> he watched you every couple seconds, eyes softening when he noticed a tear drop from your eyes watching as you quickly wiped them away sitting up straight

> he knew you love him but he doesn’t know why you left him

> a couple days past and he couldn’t help but notice how puffy your eyes looked

> he missed you, a lot and his nightmares had increased in the last 3 days

> you did everything to avoid him

> but finally you had to talk to eachother because aizawa paired you up, you asked aizawa if you could swap ‘y/n you and bakugou are great training partners, plus he doesn’t hurt you enough to send you to recovery girl like he does others’

> you sighed walking to your designated training area

> you didn’t want to hurt him more than you have emotionally this past week so you barely tried

> ‘you’re not trying’ he states, you looked up at him regretting it instantly seeing his eyebags and crimson eyes, not twinkling as they usually do

> ‘sorry’ you said quickly getting ready to dodge again

> ‘for what’... ‘huh?’.. ‘what are you sorry for’ he said searching your eyes for an answer

> ‘everything’.. ‘y/n that’s not a fucking answer’ frustrated he walked over to you pulling out a necklace that hid under his shirt

> ‘we got these as a fucking promise, a promise we would always be here, are you even wearing yours’ his hand reached over to your neck, his eyes lit up for a second when he realised you were still wearing it

> ‘i know you still love me, so why the fuck-’

> ‘bakugou you’re in constant fucking danger because of me, we can’t do anything together without having to worry, i want you to find someone that you can be in a normal relationship with, not someone who can’t even go outside with you without fearing the worst’ you let a couple tears slip out wiping them away as fast a they came

> ‘don’t be fucking stupid come here’ he pulled you towards him engulfing you in his scent which you missed greatly, ‘dumbass, we make these fuckin decisions together, which means you have to deal with me, we aren’t breaking up over some stupid villains alright’

> you held him tighter than you have before

> he made sure that for now you order take out rather than going out to eat and when you do go outside you made sure to wear masks and go with some of your classmates

> he does all of this because he loves you that much and he cares that much

[ todoroki ]

> you pined over eachother for months before todoroki had the courage to talk to you

> the conversations always flowed really well and there was no awkward pauses thinking of what to say

> you fit with eachother like a puzzle piece

> since you’re the first person he’s felt this way about you had to, show him affection and how it w o r k s?

> like when you hug him he doesn’t understand why people like hugging until you do it, he feels warm and safe in your arms and he now understands why he sees people hugging a lot

> when you first kissed it was like sparks and fireworks were going off around you, you didn’t plan on kissing him then but you had just hugged him so he was close and you looked up at him as he looked down at you smiling a little, with that you closed the space between you pressing your lips to his

> your relationship since then has been a comfortable and safe relationship for you both, that was until the training camp incident when you realised how much danger you were really putting todoroki in

> aizawa was talking to you in the staff room about the safety precautions you had to take and how you have to be careful with your relationship with todoroki

> a part of you was hoping he’d say you have to break up for safety reasons but he knows you don’t want that, even if it was for the best

> todoroki is going to be an amazing hero who will save thousands of lives and you could be the undoing of that future

> so you had to do it

-> scenario

> ‘hey love, what are we doing outside’ you were stood outside the dorms, you wanted to tell him here just so no one would interrupt

> ‘i uhm..’ this is a lot harder than you thought

> you looked at your feet refusing to look into his eyes knowing you’d breakdown

> ‘todoroki i can’t do this.. anymore’ 

> ‘can’t do what?’ when you didn’t look at him again he realised

> ‘what.. what happened baby we were normal yesterday did i do something wrong?’ you ignored him shifting your feet a little

> ‘do you not love me anymore’ it broke your heart that he thought that, you’re doing this because you love him not because you don’t .. but you had to say this to get him away

> ‘i..no i don’t’

> refusing to look at his face you ran back in tears falling down your cheeks as you ignored your friends asking if you’re okay and shut yourself in your room

> no more laying on his chest while you talk about random things at 3am, no more feeding him soba and no more holding hands running in the rain

> it was all too good to be true and now it’s over

> the next couple weeks you wanted to see him, check how he was doing but you couldn’t so you stuck to quick glances, sometimes you met his eyes in the process cursing at yourself

> your friends noticed you were off, ochako midoriya and iida asked why you weren’t hanging out with them

> you didn’t want to cause todoroki more pain so you hung out with the bakusquad so todoroki could stick with his friends without it being awkward

> you’re already friends with some of the bakusquad but you just didn’t hang out with them as much

> ‘y/n why do you look so.. lifeless’ denki asked you, you would usually be happy to talk to people and be playful but recently you had just stared at your food and soba only to be reminded of him

> ‘i don’t know’ you lied, your friends were worried about you

> todoroki was good at hiding things, he was a lot happier with you smiling while with you and around you but now he doesn’t have you

> a part of you thought he was over it already but you knew that was just you overthinking it

> ‘you know what, we should have a class movie night !, mopey you’re coming’ you looked at mina for a second before realising you’re who she’s talking to

> ‘mopey’ you raised a brow, ‘yeah you haven’t been yourself lately we want the old y/n back!! ..you haven’t even gamed with us’ kirishima spoke up making you smile sadly

> and then you realised todoroki probably won’t be at the movie night since he only went because of you ‘okay, ill go’

> that night you sat inbetween denki and bakugou scrolling through your phone while the dekubakusquad picked a movie

> ‘hey dumbass, why’d you look so fuckin dead’

> ‘not sure’.... ‘that’s bullshit’ he responded staring at his own phone

> ‘mhm’ was all you could say before the movie started

> as you looked up you realised todoroki was sitting in front of you

> how were you going to get through this..

> the movie begun and you quickly realised it was one of your favourite movies, it was the movie that you and todoroki had your first kiss watching

> clearing your head of these thoughts you carried on watching

> half an hour later it got to the part where the guy finally kisses his crush and you felt tears in your eyes, holding them back as you remembered todoroki kissing you during this scene

> you felt someone move from in front of you, your eyes widening as todoroki took your arm pulling you up close to him

> ‘what are you-’

> ‘y/n i chose this movie because i wanted to be able to do this again’ he cupped your cheeks smashing his lips to yours, you couldn’t pull away this is all you wanted and missed

> as you both pulled away he said ‘i know you don’t love me but i want to help you learn to love me again and i prom-’ you cut him off as you felt guilt bubble up inside of you remembering what you said

> ‘i lied.. i said that i didn’t love you because i needed you to leave, i broke up with you because of the target, i can’t have someone finding out about us and using you and hurting you as a way to get to me i would be taking away your chance at becoming a great hero, i can’t do that it’s selfish’

> he looked at you as the sides of his lips curled up in a small smile

> ‘a part of me should be mad at you for breaking up with me because of hero stuff but i understand, i’m relieved you love me, i love you and you love me that’s why we’re going to be careful and make this work’

A/N :

pain only pain, why do i do this

taglist : @blazedbakugou @todoroki-shoto-is-life @luluwiie

[yoddream]

part 1 is here

(TW: talks of weight and clothing size)

It had been a couple months since Jeno apologized. It had been rough at times, for he had missed out on a lot with not only you but your other friends as well. Renjun had also gotten into a relationship, so he wasn’t available as much, but he always made time for you guys, and sometimes one of you would invite his partner along.

Jaemin was back home for a family emergency, so he’d missed out on the initial reunion. He had returned not too long after, but when he did he’d given Jeno the cold shoulder for almost two weeks. everyone had felt it was a little excessive, but he stood his ground until he was ready.

Mark and Haechan had had a huge fight, resulting in them taking a break for about a month. It had resulted in you and Haechan eating a bunch of takeout while watching youtube videos multiple nights a week. Nobody knew what the fight was actually about, but it made everyone worried the couple would break up permanently.

Jisung and Chenle were the only ones that didn’t really have anything happen to them. They still attended class and hung out with the group, but that was it. It was almost as if they were immune to any drama.

When it seemed like everything had settled, you were worried about something else coming up to ruin everything. It seemed to good to be true for everything to feel right again. Was a random quiz going to pop up in one of your classes? Would your apartment flood? We’re your parents going to call you with bad news?

No. Instead, you ran into Yeeun.

You’d gone to the boba shop a few blocks away from your apartment to reward yourself for getting your essay done a couple days before it was due. Sure, you could’ve gone whenever, but rewarding yourself with it motivated you, and it made the drink taste that much better. Jeno was back at your place, still writing his paper, so you’d offered to get him some to keep going, which then turned into you offering to get some for Haechan and Mark as well.

When you walked into the shop, you almost bumped into Yeeun. She looked as put-together as usual, with her hair glossy and straight, an outfit that consisted of baggy jeans and a cropped cardigan, and perfect makeup to accentuate her big eyes. It reminded you of how despite her obviously looking upset the days after the break up, she still put herself together as if nothing had happened.

“O-oh. Hi Yeeun,” you said hesitantly.

She smiled brightly, which shocked you. “Hi, Y/N! How have you been?”

“I’ve been doing well. How—how have you been?” you asked.

“I’ve been doing okay. The break-up’s been rough, but my friends are helping me get through it. How’s Jeno been doing?”

“Not well. He’s been upset, but we’re doing everything we can to get his mind off it,” you explained.

“That’s good. Well, I have class in a few minutes, so I should get going.” As she walked around you, you spun around and called out her name. She turned to you with her eyebrows raised as she waited.

“Can I ask why you broke up with Jeno? None of us have been able to figure it out.”

She smiled sadly. “One time, he and I were eating lunch in the hall. You and your friends were sitting on the other side, looking over every once in a while until you picked up your phone and texted him. You had asked to hang out for movie night, but he said he already had plans with me. You just looked so sad and heartbroken, and I had remembered him talk about your movie nights and how special they were. Seeing how you reacted, I’d sneaked a look at his phone and saw that he’d turned you down almost every time you asked to hang out. I couldn’t get in the way of a friendship like that, especially knowing how close you were before I started dating him.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to him about it?” you asked genuinely.

“I thought about it, but something told me it wouldn’t have done anything,” she explained. When she looked at her watch, she cursed. “I really gotta go. You should text me, though! We can have a girls’ day!”

Once you’d gotten your order, you rushed back to your apartment and practically threw Jeno’s drink at him before rushing down the hall to Haechan’s room. With your free hand, you banged on the door while shouting “Code pink! Code pink!”

Code pink: ran into someone’s ex.

The door flew open, and you handed Mark his drink before pushing past him to grab Haechan. Dragging your roommate into your bedroom, you locked the door behind you and led him into your closet before closing the door behind you as well to assure nobody heard you talk.

“This story better be good enough for you to drag me back into the closet,” Haechan joked.

“Shut up, idiot. I ran into Yeeun.”

“What?!”

You shushed him harshly. “I don’t need those two breaking into my room trying to figure out what we’re talking about!”

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

So you did. The whole time you told your story, his eyes were wide as he took everything in. There were guesses as to why she’d broken up with Jeno, but nobody was close to the actual reason. And to hear that she wanted to stay in contact with you? It seemed impossible.

When you were done, Haechan sat there without saying a single word. What could he even say? Yeeun and Jeno had had a relationship that seemed perfectly fine. They weren’t toxic towards each other, and they weren’t nasty to each other’s friends.

“I never thought I’d hear about a couple breaking up to help someone outside of their relationship,” he finally said.

“Well, parents break up all the time because it’s better for their child,” you pointed out.

“But that kid is a part of the relationship. It’s their child. Breaking up because a friend is hurting? That’s new to me.”

There was a pause before you asked, “What do I do now?”

Haechan let out a big sigh. “I have no idea. If you wanna be friends with her, I don’t see why not. I would just wait a couple days before you text her. As for Jeno—well, there’s no way to tell how he would react.”

“Are you guys done? Hyuckie and I were supposed to watch a movie!” Mark called out.

Haechan rolled his eyes before muttering, “And everyone says I’m obsessed with him.”

“Go have your date night. I’m gonna see if Jeno needs help with his essay,” you said, shoving Haechan when he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

Haechan liked to joke that you and Jeno were dating, even though everyone knew you didn’t like each other. It had been an ongoing joke since you were in high school, but it’d stopped while Jeno and Yeeun were still together.

When you opened your bedroom door, Jeno and Mark were standing right there. Mark immediately grabbed Haechan and dragged him across the hall, leaving you with your best friend. He was staring at you with an unreadable expression, which worried you a little. Did he hear you?

“What are you hiding?” he asked, a smirk growing on his face.

You groaned loudly. “You asshole! I thought you were actually upset with me.”

“I’m just surprised that it’s a secret I’m not allowed to know,” he stated.

"I’ll tell you at some point. How’s your paper coming?”

Jeno frowned instead of responding. You immediately knew what he wanted. Jeno had always had a problem with expressing himself, so you learned how to read him. What he wanted right now? He wanted to cuddle. The only problem was that if you went with it, he’d never get his paper done. It was due tonight.

“Jeno, you better get that assignment done. Don’t make me regret buying that boba for you,” you said.

With his frown deepening, Jeno turned and headed back to the living room. You took a sip of your drink and closed the door. He was being dramatic; he knew he could come to you after he was done.

You snuggled into your bed and started watching a video on your phone. You could feel your eyelids getting heavy, but you did everything you could to fight against it. As time went on, it got harder and harder. By the time you were about to fall asleep, there was a soft knock on your door before it slowly creaked open. Jeno shuffled himself in and closed the door behind him before turning to you. Without a word, you lifted the edge of your comforter and let him crawl in. His long hair fell over his eyes by the time he settled, so you gently pushed it away. He threw an arm over your torso and pulled you close, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body melt; it was just like old times.

///

A couple weeks had passed since you’d run into Yeeun. The two of you texted, and you’d even hung out with her a few times. Jeno either hadn’t found out yet, or he didn’t care. You were hoping it was the latter, but there was a good chance that wasn’t the case. He still seemed to be pretty heartbroken.

“What about this one?” Yeeun asked, holding up a dress.

The two of you were at the mall, shopping for a party. You’d never really gone to one, so you had one idea what to wear. The last time you were invited to a party, you didn’t want to go, so the guys had gone without you. It was actually how Jeno had met Yeeun.

“It’s cute,” you said. The dress was a bodycon that had a ruffle along the bottom. The straps were tied on the tops of the shoulders, and the fabric was a light pink. You could already tell it would look really nice on her.

“Yeah...I just don’t know if it’ll be good enough for the party,” she mumbled with a pout.

“Honestly, Yeeun, I think you could wear whatever the hell you wanted and look good,” you told her.

She frowned. “I guess. Well, how about you try it on?”

“No way. I could never wear that,” you stated with a firm shake of your head.

“Of course you can! Look, they have it in your size.” She swapped the dresses on the rack and held it out to you. “You don’t have to get it, but you can totally try it on. It’s not going to hurt you.”

“It could hurt my self-esteem,” you mumbled.

Yeeun took a step forward and gently grabbed you by the shoulders. “I know it’s not something you’d normally wear, but it’s just for fun. You are absolutely stunning, even if you think you aren’t. Trying on clothing is to see how something fits, not how you look in the clothing. If it feels too tight in certain areas, then you try a size up to see how that feels. It’s based on your level of comfort, not how you look. That’s why we try on clothes. A medium dress from here could be an extra-large dress from another store. Also, this color would look pretty on you.”

You paused. “Didn’t you just say that it’s not based on how you look?”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “When it comes to how it fits on your body, silly. Color is completely different. This shade of pink may look better with your skin tone than a different shade of pink. C’mon, please?”

Sighing, you took the dress and dragged your feet to the fitting room. When you closed the door and locked it, you took a deep breath before starting to undress. Avoiding your reflection, you took the dress off the hanger and stepped into it before sliding it up. Once your arms were completely through the straps and the dress was settled, you turned to your reflection and grimaced. Clearly, it was too small, but you tried to remember what Yeeun said.

A medium dress from here could be an extra-large dress from another store.

“Y/N? How does it feel?” Yeeun called out.

Taking another deep breath, you opened the door and stepped out. She looked up from her phone and frowned. Your heart felt heavy as your stomach dropped. Did you really look that bad?

“Let me get a size up. See, this is what I meant when I said sizes are different in each store!” she called out while running back to the rack. She came back with a smile on her face. “I know it’s difficult to ignore what size the tag says. Trust me, a lot of people worry about it. I used to all the time, and I still do it every once in a while. But just remember that companies suck and they’re always fucking somebody over, whether that’s somebody that has a body more like Tess Holliday or somebody with a body more like Winnie Harlow. Now, switch into this dress and see how it fits.”

You did as you were told and looked at your reflection once again. Trying to keep in mind what Yeeun said, you thought about how the dress fit. It wasn’t cutting into your underarms anymore, and you felt like you could breathe without popping a stitch. When you stepped out, she squealed and clasped her hands together.

“You look so hot, no lie! How do you feel?” she asked.

“Little uncomfortable, but mostly because I don’t usually wear bodycon dresses,” you admitted. “But...”

“But?”

“But I think I could see myself wearing it. Maybe not to the party, but sometime in the near future.”

The grin on her face grew. “That’s what I like to hear.”

///

On the night of the party, Haechan was at Mark’s, leaving you alone with the apartment. You took your time getting ready, dancing around to the music that was playing on your phone. The party wasn’t for another couple hours, which gave you more than enough time to finish your makeup and hair. Your phone vibrated a couple times, but you figured it was just the group chat. They’d been blowing it up while you were in the shower, but you hadn’t read any of it.

You’d decided to wear the dress, telling yourself that you could leave if you felt uncomfortable. It was a big step for you, maybe even too big, but you wanted to try.

Once you were ready, you grabbed your bag and keys and opened your apartment door. On the other side was Jeno, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. You stumbled back a little in surprise, your eyes wide at the sudden appearance of your best friend.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.

“I texted you, asking if you wanted to get some ice cream. I figured I’d show up when you didn’t answer.” He looked you up and down with a smile. “You look very pretty. Where are you going?”

“Um, Yeeun actually invited me to her party,” you mumbled.

His eyebrows raised in shock. “Oh. I didn’t know you two were talking.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I ran into her when I went to pick up boba.”

He grinned. “Is that what that code pink was about?”

“Maybe. You aren’t mad, are you?”

“I’m a little upset that you didn’t tell me, but I understand why you didn’t. Besides, I’m almost over the breakup,” he assured you. “I can drop you off, if you want. I’ll be driving by the sorority on my way home, so it’s not like I’ll be going out of my way.”

“Fine, but only because I wanna drink but don’t want to take an Uber,” you reasoned.

The ride over was filled with Jeno’s soft playlist. He always listened to it when he was studying or trying to nap because it kept him calm, so you were surprised to hear it in the car. When you asked about it, he told you that he liked to listen to it when he was driving at night. “It kept the calm ambience,” was his short explanation.

“Call me if you need a ride home, okay?” he asked once he was parked by the curb. “Or text me if you don’t. Just—let me know you’re okay, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes with a grin. “Yes, Jeno. Thank you for the ride.”

You didn’t hear his car drive off until the front door was open. Stepping inside, you immediately felt lost. It was loud, it was crowded, and it smelled like alcohol. Looking around, you tried to find a familiar face, but nobody was standing out.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your left, your eyes landed on Yeeun. She was wear a red, strapless dress that hugged her figure. Her makeup was simple, but it didn’t matter when she was as gorgeous as she was. Her eyes lit up when she saw what you were wearing before she hurried over.

“You decided to wear the dress!” she shouted.

“I did,” you said with a smile.

“Well, you look absolutely stunning. Come on, let’s get you a drink, and then I’ll introduce you to my friends!”

Alcohol was just what you needed to loosen up. Soon, you were joking around with Yeeun and her friends, and then you were dancing, and then you were taking shots, and then you were stumbling. Sorn handed you another shot glass, which you downed despite Yeeun telling you to slow down. You ignored her and kept drinking.

///

The first thing you noticed was the smell of the room. It was familiar, but you didn’t know how. Then, it was how stiff your body felt. Finally, the headache. Could it even be considered a headache? It felt like someone just kept stabbing your skull. When you opened your eyes, the room was dark. The clock on the nightstand said that it was almost eleven, though, which meant the blackout curtains were drawn.

So, you were in Jeno’s room.

You slowly rolled over and knocked into the boy, groaning as your head seemed to hurt even more. Slowly, you turned until you were facing him. Well, facing his back. He was facing away from you, snoring away. Without hesitation, you threw your arm over his waist and clung to him as you buried your face into the back of his neck, which woke him up.

“Hm, good morning,” he mumbled.

“Hurts,” you whined.

“Yeah, you were almost passed out by the time I got to the sorority. Thank Yeeun for calling me,” he replied.

“She called you?” you asked, your stomach clenching. Was it from the hangover?

“Yup. Honestly, I was pretty shocked to see her name pop up when my phone rang, but I’m glad. She was worried something would happen to you, but she trusted me to take care of you.” He rolled over, and you could barely make out his face. You did see a frown, though. “That’s the last time I try helping you change without exposing or touching anything. Who knew you’d be the kind of drunk that tries to strip?”

“Oh my god,” you whispered while hiding your face in his chest.

“My reaction exactly.”

“You didn’t see anything, did you?”

“No. I managed to stop you as you untied the second strap.”

With a groan, you rolled away and sat on the edge of the bed. He laughed before following you, squeezing your shoulder as he got up. He promised to make you breakfast and get you painkillers while you showered. You took your time in the bathroom, making sure not a single centimeter of your body felt dirty and gross. When you were done, you got dressed in the same t-shirt and sweatpants before heading into the kitchen.

Jeno was facing the stove, cooking some eggs and hash. When he heard you shuffle in, his turned around with a smile, but it dropped almost immediately. You frowned, unsure of why he looked at you like that. Shutting off the stove, he put his spatula down and walked over. He stopped in front of you before slowly bending down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss. You froze in shock before relaxing, your whole body melting under his touch. When he pulled away, you opened your eyes and raised your eyebrows.

“Oh,” you said.

“What?” he asked.

“Well, that makes sense.”

Letting out a surprised laugh, he questioned, “What makes sense?”

“I don’t know. It just—it makes sense! You kissing me just makes sense!”

“You’re so weird,” he said with a grin before leaning down to kiss you again.

There was a lot that still needed to be talked about. Neither of you could simply enter a relationship before talking about your feelings and going on dates, but you decided to push that to the back of your mind while you enjoyed kissing Jeno.

(”Can we keep this a secret from the guys for a little bit?”

“How come?”

“Well, I wanna see the look on Haechan’s face when he makes that joke about us dating.”

“I’m sorry, he does what?”)

[donaidk]

Eyes Off You - Mick Schumacher

*Repost as I wanted it in a separate post rather than an ask, to make my blog organized. Hope you guys don’t mind :)*

I have changed things up a little but I hope you will still enjoy this! I loved writing it and tried to use everything you mentioned. Thank you for requesting and also reading!

TW: Body image issues (mild)

Note to Anon: Please never ever think like you’re not worth it just because you’re ‘out of someone’s league’! I wasted years of my life hating myself and feeling like crap just because people made me think I wasn’t worth anything. You’re unique and they’re just blind to see it. Rock on and show them that they’re the ones who are not worth your worrying, anxitey and thoughts! Love you! ❤️

Masterlist | Request

Links - Inspiration song | Dress (in deep red) | Jewelry

When Mick asked me to dress up and meet him in the park close to our house, I can’t lie that it wasn’t a bit confusing. I didn’t remember the date to be anything special really, and I couldn’t get myself to remember if we had anything planned for the day previously. He just got back home for their usual longer summer break between race weekends, which we usually spent laying around in bed for a few days before we felt energized enough to spend time outside the confinement of our home. But now he was up on his feet already on the first day, making us take a walk around the city and as it turns out he had plans for the following days as well. I couldn’t lie, it made me excited but at the same time so confused, about where all of this energy was coming from. Normally I waited with my vacation time off work for him, and only took out days when it was sure that he was going to be free. This meant I was quite busy with work during the remaining days of the year, making me tired and grumpy for the first days I had off in between. It was lucky that on most occasions we had at least a week together, which meant I could lay around lazy for a few days before we would get on with our planned activities. He did surprise me by not letting me just waste a day or two.

My mind started running at the speed of light when I found the little note on our bed, telling me to dress up pretty because he would take me out as soon as he’s gonna be back from his family’s place. I always loved surprises, even more the ones he planned out for us, but knowing we had to go out or it stepped onto a territory that made my anxiety skyrocket. I was never the social type, as I felt content with the group of friends I had since our high-school years. I knew I could trust them and never really tried to meet other people, be it a party or any kind of set up where you had to communicate with strangers. That’s probably why I never really accompanied him to any ceremonies or team parties when I had the chance. It was clear to me that I would just be an anxious mess, and I really didn’t need his friends and colleagues to realise how much Mick and I didn’t match. It was enough when my own brain stood against me and tried to persuade me into believing what we had would never truly work out in the long run. In moments like that I couldn’t even make out how we went from meeting at the beach in Hawaii to today.

° ° °

I didn’t really know how my friends got me to go with them to Hawaii as a summer vacation, and having been here with them for the past half a week I have felt a bit of regret. What was strange that I did enjoy myself and all the plans we had, even if every night I felt like I would rather be home and just relax in my own bedroom, maybe going out with my family for walks or meals at max. That was enough for my social side usually for a whole year. Having people around me 24/7, that tried interacting with me all the time was exhausting. The only thing that made this holiday bearable was that they knew all of this and gave me space when they saw I would need it, but pushed me to take part in the original plan when I was just making up excuses.

Our usual plans consisted of sleeping, eating, going to the beach, taking walks and repeating all four of those activities until our holiday would end. It was usually the beach that I missed out on when I needed a bit of time for myself, but still made sure I spent more time with them than I did alone in our rented house. It would have been a waste of time and money if I didn’t challenge myself a little bit, to be more outgoing. I still wasn’t adventurous enough to for example be in front of them in only a bikini or bathing suit, but I luckily never felt overdressed with my shorts and sleeveless shirts while playing some kind of sports in the sand. Thanks to the boys in our group it was usually football as there were some goals set up in the shade, but we sometimes could get them to play some volleyball too. I probably looked out of place next to all of them wearing their bathing suits or pants and then there I was in full clothing. The only way I could distract myself by only paying attention to the games we played trying to win for our team.

It was maybe our fifth day when we started to see another group of people around our age attending the beach every day. We spent a day just passing each other before one of them challenged us for a volleyball ‘tournament’ and then the next day a football one. It turned into a daily activity and even I was surprised how much I enjoyed it, both the games we played and the conversations we had. They seemed really cool and with several of them I felt like we would be quite good friends outside this holiday. One of them stood out to me even more than the other few guys, by the name of Mick. The girls of course saw it from the outside and I was teased for until the last day when I got myself together and in the end swapped phone numbers with him.

I still didn’t think too much into it, knowing we will probably just forget about even meeting each other. I can still remember how surprised I was when just days after getting back to my usual home routine he texted me, announcing that he’s gonna be in my hometown soon and that he would live to meet up with me. And he didn’t disappoint, going for lunch and a walk around the city with me in just a few weeks time. I can still feel how fast my heart was beating when he revealed to me why he was here and how I felt like a complete fool for thinking he was just a normal kid. I couldn’t have been farther off the truth. That was the first day when I could laugh at my own stupidity whole heartedly, as I couldn’t hold back my embarrassed chuckling at hearing him laugh. If someone told me I’ll get the chance to listen to his laugh almost every day in our future, I would have called them crazy for sure.

° ° °

Putting the little note aside onto the bedside table as I sat down on the mattress, laying back still trying to figure out what he could have planned for us. I was just turning a bit to get my head on my pillow, with my hand sliding under it as I usually liked to sleep when my fingers met with something there that felt like paper. Pulling it out my eyes met with another now purple colored post-it, with his handwriting on it, saying ’It’s gonna be just the two of us, don’t stress about it’ and a little kissy face making me chuckle. He knew me too well and this note showed that he really did think about any possibility so he wouldn’t have to be home to get me out of the house. With a sigh I pushed myself off the bed so I could open up the wardrobe and in a way I knew there would be a twist even before I could see inside. Next to all my usual dresses and blouses hanging under the shelves was another black hanger with a white protector fabric encasing the dress it was probably holding up. The note on it was a simple winky face and I took it out with my head shaking at his antics and how I should have known he would get me something to wear.

I laid it onto our bed, opening up the protector’s zipper and my smile grew wider as my eyes caught the deep red colour of the silk that was hiding under it. Seconds later I was already lifting up the hanger, the dress itself following it flowing through the air with such an ease it made you think it was probably made from it with how light it was. When I turned it around my mind was just about to go into panic mode again at how open the backside was, but the note I discovered stuck to it made me take a deep breath and calm down instantly. ’Remember Hockenheim in 2018?’ I read the words slowly and couldn’t help but smile at the memory it brought up in my mind.

° ° °

When Mick invited me to the Hockenheim GP, the last three races of their season, everyone knew it would be a weekend for celebrations as whatever would have happened he was winning the Championship and no one could stop him. His point advantage put him into a position where not even the driver who was in second place could switch him out, even if they won all three races and Mick would miss out on them. Everything seemed relaxed around his part of the team as everyone knew this last weekend was like a celebratory run for them after all the hard work they put into the season.

The first race wasn’t his best ever but then took second place in both the second and third one, securing his title for the season. As soon as he was out of the car it was all about celebrating both his and the team’s performance. I had the widest grin of my life on my face as we watched him step onto the podium receiving his P2 trophy  and  then later the one for the Driver’s Championship. It took us three times the usual time to get back to the hotel as everyone was taking pictures with him. Even I got one with him, with which I couldn’t hold back from posting about his achievement. It felt like eternity until we were back at the hotel, and the P2 trophy was still in my hand as we entered his room. I was holding it right until he swept me up into a tight hug and I rather placed it onto the coffee table, before I would drop it.

It wasn’t a surprise when after dinner and a couple of drinks we ended up in the bed together with his shirt already off and mine pushed halfway up my torso when I came to my senses. My mind panicked immediately at all the imagined scenarios coming to me, about him leaving after seeing how I actually look. I was always insecure about my whole body, but mainly my back as my skin there was always full of spots and scarring. The thought of him seeing it freaked me out, don’t even start me on thinking about him touching it. Coming back from my thoughts I took in a shaky but deep breath making him glance at me, pushing himself up a little. I just tried kissing him, to get him to continue but there was worry in his eyes and even though he quickly pecked my lips once again he wasn’t getting back to his previous actions.

“ I’m not going any further until you tell me what got you so out of it. ” He stated, still looking me in the eyes and making me gulp. “ What’s the matter? We don’t have to do anything, there’s no musts here. Just tell me what’s wrong, please. ” He asked again, making me just shake my head as I didn’t trust my voice. I felt like his eyes were boring into me so deep he could see my soul.

“ It’s stupid… but I’m just not… not perfect in any way? ” I finally spoke up, making him furrow his brows in confusion as one of his hands came up to my face to get my hair off my cheek. I knew he was trying to get more info out of me.

“ What isn’t perfect? ” He asked like I just told him something stupid, that doesn’t even exist. I debated telling him or just  making a run for it and maybe never talking to him again as anxiety made my throat close up for a second.

“ Everything? Mostly my back. ” I answered him in the end, my next blink lasting longer than usual as I needed a second to compose myself. “ It’s just bumpy and gross. ” I added, not really knowing where my sudden courage came from. When my eyes opened up he was still looking at me but then pushed himself up a little, my hands falling onto my stomach from his sides.

“ Turn around. ” He said, making my heart miss the next beat and my eyes widen. “ Please.” He added with a sigh, sending me a calming smile and my body moved on it’s own sitting up before I turned my back to him. “ Can we take this off? ” I heard his voice as two of his fingers came under the material of my shirt. I was about to shake my head but then it ended up as a nod. If I trusted someone it was him.

After helping me pull my t-shirt off he let me lay back down and I turned my head to the side as it was back on the pillow. Like this I could also see him, giving me the possibility to stop him he was about to do something I wouldn’t have liked. He first just left a little kiss on my cheek, making me smile contently and almost forgetting what was happening, before he went down my neck and my back with his lips. My breath was stuck in my throat until his face came back to mine and I forced some air into my lungs.

“ There’s nothing wrong with you, your body, your back or your skin. Yeah? Nothing wrong. ” He told me again, laying back down next to, with his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. “ The only thing wrong here is the idiot who made you think you’re any less than perfect. ” He added, kissing me and I felt like I would never be able to separate from him. Lucky I wouldn’t have to for at least the next month.

° ° °

As I took the little slip of paper off my fingers ran over the silky fabric, the delicate little chain catching my sight with the sparkling diamonds following each other for the whole length of it. It was a strange jewelry and took me a second to understand it was deliberately placed at the back and not in the front of it. The image inside my head made me gasp as I imagined how it would look on someone and how it would accentuate their back, the shiny metal catching everyone’s glance. Even though my skin was in it’s best ever state I was still quite conscious about it, and made sure most of the time to wear things that I knew would cover any imperfection of it. I knew that his plan with this was to make sure I finally embraced it, how I should have then even back then.

I fought with myself for a bit but then took the dress off the hanger and laid it down onto the bed. I still had to take a shower and do both my makeup and hair. I stayed with the most minimal amount of makeup, mostly focusing on my eyeliner and mascara with some nude colored lipstick that wasn’t far off the original color of my lips. I didn’t spend lots of time on my hair either, letting it flow freely after going through it with a brush and parting it at the usual place. The last step was getting into the dress and zipping it up on the side. When I felt like I had everything with a last check in the full body mirror I was about to change my mind at my reflection when I noticed one more little note from him. ‘You look perfect, don’t question it. Car waiting for you in front of the building.’ There was the time too, when the car would arrive at ours, which was minutes away and with a last sigh I took a thin blazer from the wardrobe before putting on my heels and leaving the house. I locked the door, making sure I won’t be able to get back inside easily, so I couldn’t change my mind.

I didn’t even have to wait a minute longer for a car to park down in front of the exit and I got in without a question when the driver called out my name. I wasn’t even anxious anymore when he restarted the engine, more like excited. So much I felt like I couldn’t sit through our drive. We were waiting at a red light and from my seat I could see the park, which was Mick’s and my favourite place for morning runs or even picnics, making me reach up to my neck, my fingers immediately wrapping around the little pendant that was hanging there on a delicate gold chain.

I remember seeing him crashing into a tyre wall and waiting for him to finally confirm that he was alright. It was the first time since I started watching the races that I saw him getting so close to being hurt and I wasn’t looking forward to any more of these. He probably knew that I would be a bit upset, worried about his well being after realising how dangerous their job actually was. It was just two days later when we were already home and he gave me a little box. It contained a medium sized pendant, quite similar to his. I knew his was from his family, to bring luck to him and I hoped mine would bring some more luck not even just to me but him too. From the moment I put it on, I never took it off again for longer than an hour.

“ We’re here. ” The driver’s voice made me blink away the memory that came up for me, making me turn my head towards him. “ He’s waiting. ” He added with a smile, pointing towards the entrance of the little park that I knew so well.

I quickly thanked him for getting me here before leaving the vehicle and going towards the open gates. We usually just walked by this place and I always found it astonishing as it looked like a fairy land with the lightning all around the place and the pagodas, where people could just sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea with some desserts. However, now it was empty, and the only thing that I could hear was soft music playing in one of the small buildings. Having no clue about where I should go my only hope was following the sound to one of the more hidden pagodas, that was lit up outside even more than the others. I was getting confused and almost giving up when he finally stood up and I could let out a relieved sigh. There was a huge grin on his face, making me smile too although I felt a little embarrassed even though it was only him standing in front of me. I knew he would never give me a reason to feel bad about myself or what I was wearing.

“ You look stunning. ” He came up to me, pulling me into a hug and leaving a kiss on my lips. “ I’m really happy you stayed with the dress. ” He added, making me smile up at him as I initiated another kiss between us, before I let him lead me into the little building.

“ Thank you. This is fabulous as well. I knew it was beautiful, but never thought it’s this cozy. ” I looked around again, not even paying too much attention to him, completely missing him taking my blazer off my shoulder so he could hang it on the wall next to his one.

“ I've wanted to take you here since we first saw it. It was just never the perfect timing. ” He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to my back and it sent a shiver down my spine as the jewelry’s colder chain got in contact with my skin. I knew he saw and maybe even felt it, but never commented on it, deeming it a normal reaction.

“ It would have made it the perfect timing. ” I shrugged a little, sitting down on the chair he pulled out for me, before sitting down opposite me. “ Other than it being too cold to just sit around, I can’t really think about anything that would make me wanna leave early. ” I looked around again. My eyes followed the fairy lights’ cable running all around us and up a tree next to the pagoda.

Having the place for ourselves made it even more magical than how it would normally feel like. Even though we weren’t served by a waitress he had everything we could need, next to the table. He prepared sandwiches with little fruit salads and also our favourite drink. I’m sure we would be having coffee if we were here in the morning, but I also knew we would never sleep if we got caffeine in our systems now. From the outside it probably looked funny as we ate the sandwiches while wearing clothes that would fit into the poshest restaurants but I wouldn’t have changed one bit about tonight. Everything was part of what when considered a perfect date, even if it wouldn’t mean the same for another couple. Everyone’s taste is different and that’s what made it even better, that I could see how much Mick knew my favourite details. I still couldn’t believe what I did to deserve the life I had now and all the changes Mick brought into it by being next to me whenever I would need him and the support.

I was about to thank him for everything, that he made this happen, when he pulled his phone out and I could see as he opened up his camera started recording a video. Instead of lifting it up to record us, he propped it up on the table in a way that it would take in the space next to our pagoda, before standing up and going to the music player that controlled the whole system around the garden. I followed him with my eyes, curiously waiting to hear the song he would choose. I recognised it just two seconds into the start of it, making me not even think about it when he reached out his hand towards me. It was our song, however cliche that is, that we danced to in Hawaii, at the beach party that we attended on the last day of my holiday. Back then I thought we would never ever meet again in person, thought we would be parting ways forever as I had to leave with my friends. It would have been a perfect last memory for the few weeks we spent there, but it became even more magical when there was a text waiting for me to turn on my phone that turned into us talking on the phone constantly and then meeting again in my home town just a few months later.

Even though neither of us was a good dancer we made it work, swaying left and right to the slow beats of the song with my arms around his neck and his circling my hips and resting on the small of my back. I let my eyes close and my head slowly fall forward until my forehead was resting on his shoulder. I felt as he rested his head on mine for a second before his lips left a kiss on my jaw and then neck, followed by several on the skin of my shoulder.

“ This is perfect. ” I sighed out, and I was sure my mum would tease me about how I was beaming with a smile so wide the Cheshire cat could be jealous. I wasn’t ready for it to end and was glad of his choice when the song restarted, meaning the silence didn’t break the moment.

“ What do you think about making our forever this perfect? ” I felt his breath on my neck from his whispering, and I nodded with a smile, not thinking much of it. It was when he stepped back a little and I could see the little box in his hand when my hand came up to cover my surprised expression. “ I know you never thought a silly holiday with friends would end with something like this, but I’m planning on making that just one of the things that worked out quite well in our life. Will you be my partner in making everything better and marry me? ” He asked, already on one knee and opening up the top of the box, revealing a ring that was shining in the light coming from the lanterns and fairy lights.

The only thing I could remember after that was him standing next to me again, the both of us enveloped in a hug while I could already feel the comforting weight of the ring on my finger. The song was still flowing through the air around us, making me feel like I was part of the imaginary world built up inside my head, that I thought would never be my reality. I couldn’t wrap my mind around all the images and thoughts that were running around my head about our future, but feeling his embrace around my body I knew it would all workout. I already had him and that was everything I needed to live my life happy. Or should I say our life now?    

[shra-vasti]

Flower

Pairing : Yoon Jeonghan x reader

Type : ex-lovers to soulmate au, idol au

Genre : primarily angst, fluff

Warnings : cursing here and there and a makeout scene at the start

Soulmate au type : In which your soulmate's initial are craved into your wrist when you turn 20 and when you touch each other their initial turns into their full name.

Synopsis : You and Jeonghan dated before getting your soulmark but it ended in a rather most heartbreaking way for you but fate bought you two together and now it's upon Jeonghan to fix what he messed up.

Note : Italics = flashback/past

Word count : 6k

"Yah, Yoon Jeonghan take me home."

He look up from where he was seated with his drink in his hands as he took in your form. You were barely walking straight, your body far from being balanced.

"What did you say?"

Shock was clearly evident in his voice that you even thought of walking in his direction yet alone ask him to take you home. He heard Mingyu and Jun snicker beside him laughing at his confused and shocked state. Their Hyung was never this perplexed in front of anyone.

"You heard me." you let out a whine already regretting your decision to even ask him to drop you home.

"My friends are way too drunk and Joshua told me that you are aren't drinking tonight plus your apartment is near mine."

He put his drink on the counter as he made his way towards you.

"You're going to regret this once you sober up." he muttered more to himself as he took a hold of your hand and guided you out of the party with all of his and your friends cheering up and leaving teasing remarks.

He took you to your apartment as you fumbled with your purse to take out the card to swap across the monitor but it seemed like you weren't even in the condition to do that so Jeonghan took it upon himself to tuck you in bed and then leave.

"Yoon Jeonghan." you called out when he settled you on your couch, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he helped you take out your heels.

He look up at you when he heard you calling his name to see your face really close to his.

"Why are you frowning?" you asked as you gently swiped your thumb across his eyebrows to make him relax, a habit of yours whenever you found him frowning over something.

"I should go."

He was sure that you were mad drunk and if he will stay in your apartment unit longer, one of you will regret it in the end.

You held his hands as you saw him get up from where he was standing and stood up before him, your gaze still hazy.

Your hands craddled his face as you cup his jaw slowly closing the distance between the two of you. His hands found their way around your body and rested on your hips but as soon as he felt your breath on his face and the scent of wine hit his nose he came back to reality, no he can't take advantage of you when you were drunk.

You once again let out a whine, stomping your feet on the floor clearly frustrated.

"I don't want you to do anything with me, which I know you will regret, when you are drunk. I'm not drunk so I won't let that happen."

His voice was stern but it felt like instead of scolding you he was actually trying to warn himself about it.

"Lets have a drink then, why are you the only one not getting drunk." you said as you blackmailed him to stay put and went inside the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine.

A loud noise was heard as soon as you went inside the kitchen and Jeonghan didn't think twice before running towards you to see that you accidentally made the steel utensils fell onto the floor.

He sighed as he picked them up and moved towards where you were in front of your refrigerator. He crossed his arms across his chest eyeing you and silently asking you on how on earth you have so many bottles of wine in your house.

You just smiled at him not really caring about his stern gaze as you pulled his collar by one hand, a bottle on wine on another as you finally pulled him in for a kiss.

His body stiffened at the sudden proximity, he felt your one hand running through his hair and tucking on it making him groan. He pulled your body harshly against his as he devoured you unable to control himself as his hands roamed everywhere on your body, touching each surface of your exposed skin as much as possible.

He pulled away to catch his breath, his eyes darkening at the sight of your swollen lips, then his eyes landed on the bottle of wine loosely hanging on your hand and he snatched it from you, opening the bottle and chugging as much as drink possible in one go.

Your eyes widened as you look at him drinking the wine vigorously. You once again moved towards him taking the bottle from his hands and putting it somewhere on the kitchen counter.

You hop onto the counter and once again tugged him towards you kissing and sucking on his neck and drinking the remains of wine which spilled from his mouth onto his neck and chest. He let out a groan as his hands found your hair and he grabbed them harshly pulling you off him before once again claiming your lips.

You crossed your legs around his body and you felt his hands move down from your head towards you waist to hold you in place as he got away from the counter carrying you, lips still attached with each other sighing and moaning in each other's mouth as he lead you towards your room.

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You hadn't even check your phone and put it in silent mode just to avoid your group members potentially messaging or calling you to reach you and inform you about something you were purposly trying to ignore.

It was late at night, clearly an hour before the night ends and another day starts as you walked in the direction of your dorm room which was few blocks away from your company's building, where you had been practicing for a stage whole day which wasn't even that important and you had already mastered all of the steps and lyrics.

With that thought in your mind, you took out your phone and you watch as the screen lit up as your pressed your finger on the senser, the first thing to catch your attention among the numerous texts and calls of your members and few of Seventeen's was the date&time displayed.

10:50 PM, 4 October.

You made your way inside your dorm building's lobby still focused on your phone as you deligently cleared your notifications not paying much attention to the surroundings since your dorm's building was never that crowded at such times., at least that's what Jeonghan thought as he watched you made your way towards him or more specifically where the stairs of your dorm room lies, unknown of his presence.

He looked at his wrist where your initials were craved, they were just initials and there maybe hundreds of people with same initials for all he knew but his doubts vanished when he asked your members about the soulmark on your wrist and they informed him about his initials being craved on them. Despite all of this, he followed his gut feelings, he just needed to touch you to confirm everything.

He had been sitting on the stairs for nearly an hour now, his eyes narrowed to get a better look and not miss anything as he focused on the building's gate, hand clasped together tightly, legs tapping the ground beneath, he anxiously waited there to at least see you once before his birthday ends, as if he knew that the only person who was going to cross it anytime soon was you.

It was a terrible idea, he knew but if you weren't going to show any signs of acknowledgement of his presence in your life once again he might as well be shameless for the sake of his feelings cause he was aware that he fucked everything up.

He straightened his back and got up taking a few steps down the stairs to meet you halfway when he noticed you putting your phone back inside your pocket, you were going to notice him now that you weren't focused on anything else.

"Yoon Jeonghan?"

Your voice was a low whisper but he felt his heart skipping a beat as his name rolled off your lips. He was never a fan of his name thinking his parents could have chosen some cooler sounding name but he loved the way you said his name and he suddenly was in love with his formerly not so cool name.

He watched as you sighed softly before siding him but not today he wasn't going to let you off today easily, he was confused if he was being this daring because he couldn't take it anymore or that it was all because today was his birthday and he knew that for you at some point of your life his birthday was one of the most important day.

He blocked your path, his body a little bit more closer than it has ever being in years.

"You didn't attend my birthday party."

"I had other important things to do."

"I just needed few hours of your day if not two, you know."

"I apologize, now if you would excuse me."

His breath hitched, this wasn't going to be easy but he had to do something. He had watched you from afar for a year already and his guilt and conscience was eating him up every time he looked at you or hear about you.

He just needed to talk, to let you know about his feelings, to tell you how he didn't mean any of the thing which had happened in the past in between you both which broke you apart, he needed to tell you how he deserved your hatred rather than the obvious nonchalant attitude you put before him.

He just needed to hear your voice directly talking to him, he needed you to look at him to show any signs that there's still hope cause God knows he wouldn't survive being without you.

"You are free now, I asked your members and they said you don't have any schedule till tomorrow evening so I guess you can spend the last hour of my birthday with me without sacrificing your sleep or anything else."

He knew that if he didn't knew any better, the glare which you sent in his direction would have made anyone else surrender in defeat in seconds, but he kept his cool facade on as he threw you a shit eating grin as if to prove you that you couldn't back off.

You rolled your eyes, hands crossed across your chest clearly feeling frustrated cause you knew that once he made up his mind for anything, he'll do anything to get it done and you spending his birthday's last hour with him was one of it.

You groaned, indirectly telling him that you aren't a big fan of the idea as you turned around towards the building gate once again. You frowned when you look behind after walking a good distance noticing that he was still glued on the same place with a confused expression. You huff in annoyance.

"Are you going to spend the rest one hour standing there or you wanna go outside? I don't mind intentionally wasting this one hour just so you know." with that you turned around once again as you started making your way out of the building.

Jeonghan blinked a few times clearly surprised at your sudden change in behavior. You never let him speak more than two sentence before ignoring him completely but here you were ready to spend an hour with him, just him.

He closed his eyes as he silently thanked his members as well as yours to help him mend his relationship with you at least till this point.

When he first faced you after years of not being in contact, you didn't even behave like you knew him, like he never made your day better, like he never really sing you to sleep, like he never was your high, like he never really existed in your life and he was shattered.

He made a big mistake but he loved you way too much to lose you like that, you didn't deserve it and he was ready to do anything to fix that. A smile plastered on his lips as he started running to catch up with you.

He brought you towards where his car was parked and started driving, no words were exchanged. He took a look at you leaning on the passenger seat lazily, your head on the closed tinted window. He reached towards the button and slightly pulled the window glass down enough for the outside air to enter in.

You frown feeling the glass move as you pushed yourself off to properly sit and shot a glare towards him before looking after what he did. You can't breathe properly due to suffocation when the cars windows are all closed so he pull down the windows enough to let some air in.

You looked at him as he casually continued his driving like doing such things for you was his second nature, well it used to be his second nature and all of the things he was doing was just in his instincts.

It was in his instincts to take care of you, to know what you like, to know what you don't, to know how you like your drink, which things pisses you off. To him you were an open book and never in your life anyone had ever read you the way he did. No one could ever.

"Namsan tower? I thought you would take me to one of those cheesy fancy restaurants or something." you mumbled as you took out your seat belt and head out of the car immediately sighing in relief as the suffocating air of car was now replaced by the fresh air.

Jeonghan got out of the car moments after you did as he observed you.

"This place is more important than those cheesy fancy restaurants for me."

He could sense the awkward aura that surrounded you as both of you made your way towards the tower. It held so many memories, so many moments which both of you still cherish from the bottom of your heart. Maybe taking you here would help him rekindle your relationship.

The familiar road which you had abandoned from years, now that you were walking on it again with the same person who was with you the last time you went there you could tell your emotions were running wild and it was going to be one hell of an hour.

Jeonghan stopped when he reached at the far end of the namsan tower locks as he turn around towards you.

You lift up your eyes from the ground to come directly in contact with his eyes, oh how he managed to still make your heat skip a beat with just one look. You broke the eye contact first as your focus slowly was stolen away by the place you were now standing.

There were hardly any people here, since everyone's major attention seeker was the locks of the tower where the lovers wish for their happy ending and lock it. It was only yours and his place, the end of the namsan's lock. You slowly made your way towards where he was standing few feet away from you and you internally prayed to heavens to make the time flow fast.

"It's still beautiful as it was when we used to come here." you looked at him to see him smiling nostalgically at the memory, the sight of him like that was enough for your breath to get caught, he was still breathtaking you concluded.

He turned towards you when he felt your eyes on him which made you look ahead at the beautiful scenery. Your hands felt cold due to the sudden chilly wind and also because of the rush of emotions inside you, you rubbed your sweaty palms on your jeans before putting them back on the railings.

Jeonghan looked at you like he knew that today will mayhaps be the day where either he'll make everything up or fuck everything up all over again and for the first time in years he was so nervous he could feel his heart on his throat.

The last time he felt like that was the time when he sent you a long breakup message on how he fell out of love and was seeing some fellow idol for a quite while behind your back and he couldn't do it anymore. He explained how he got distracted since he spent more time with them as compared to you. He apologized for causing you pain and meeting someone behind your back, he just didn't want to hurt you he said and you just replied with a plain, 'Take care.'

That was it, nothing else. He didn't hear anything from you after that until he saw you in pledis building, this time around as the member of their upcoming girl group.

You didn't yell at him like he expected you to, you didn't hurt him in return, you just completely erased yourself from his life like he never existed. You changed your apartment, he found his things were still there, you didn't take anything with you. Not a single thing. And then it hit him that maybe, maybe he lost something which was very dear to him.

Thinking about the past made him rethink about his boldness that he put up today. He had zero idea how you took the breakup. He was sure you were hurt, devastated, broken up but he didn't know if you hated him for what he did, resented him, still loved him, forget him, cried over him for days, were just angry at him and wished he died instead, cursed him or anything else.

Your feelings regarding the breakup remained an enigma to him till this date, he wasn't sure what was in your mind when you saw him, when you first heard him.

He suddenly felt self conscious about himself, he didn't even properly breakup with you, just a text and you didn't deserve such nonchalant behavior of his, at least he should have told you all of this in person.

But how could he, both of you were not in contact with each other for months since he had recently debuted with Seventeen and was busy with promotions and going out with some other idol to even care about if he contacted you or not cause you were too understanding and too good for him.

He took a deep breath, shivering as he pulled out one of his hands from his hoodie's pocket and gently taking your hand in his and intertwining it, if it was the regular Jeonghan today he was sure he would have run away from the mess he created rather than facing it, but today was different today he actually had something to gain or lose.

Your head snapped towards him in an instant, disbelief portrayed on your face as you look in between your intertwined hands and his face. He put your intertwined hands back inside his hoodie's pocket, ignoring the loud beating of his heart and the obviously frustrated glare you were throwing towards him. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves down, God this was just him holding your hand like he did countless of time yet he was so nervous.

"We always used to do this back then, your hands get cold easily so I used to hold your hand and put it inside the pocket to make you feel more warm."

He let out a breath he didn't even know he held slowly looking towards you as you were now looking straight ahead and not him. Your facial expressions stiff and a distant look in your eyes.

"What are your intentions Yoon Jeonghan?"

You voice was sharp, to the point and he knew it was meant for him to hurt and for the love of God it did. It broke him. You tried to pull away your hand but he held it tight not letting go. You opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it.

"It's my birthday today, take it as my wish. I want to relive the time I spent with you just like we used to. Just for tonight, I want my girl back."

He looked at you, his eyes pleading you to consider it. You always fulfilled his wishes which he wished on his birthday be it anything, it was like your own little tradition and you promised him that you would fulfill his every birthday wish till your last breath, he just hoped that you still remembered it and that it still applied, it was his only desperate attempt left.

To beg you for your love.

"Please..."

He sounded so delicate, so fragile, so desperate, he knew he had long thrown his reputation and image in the trash can.

"You promised me you would complete all of my birthday wishes whatever they were if I said them to you before the clock hit 12 till your last breath. Are you going to turn your back on your own words?"

He saw you contemplating to say something and then deciding not to then you took a deep breath and stop struggling to pull away your hand from his grasp.

"Okay....just till midnight." he heard you say as you tightly clasped his hand in yours.

His members and yours had been nothing but a blessing in his and yours shattered relationship. They knew what Jeonghan did was wrong and that he deserved what he was going through but his love for you wasn't something which would go unnoticed by anyone.

So they helped him in every way possible to crack your cold heart into the previous warm one and they didn't hesitate to even blackmail you to consider giving him a second chance and that's the soul reason why you were here with him without creating any scene and argument.

He knew you hated being here and you would've left him there alone if it wasn't for your egoistic self taking a toll on your logical self and compile to whatever attacks your members were making towards you when you said you would never consider being with him again. It's like your members knew you like the back of their hands and knew what exactly they had to do for him to have a chance and he mentally made a note to thanks them personally for this.

You felt him leave your hand and move as you stood still on your spot. He moved behind you carefully snaking his one arm around your torso and other around your shoulder as he pulled you in him. The suddenness of moments leaving your mind blank as he buried his head at the crook of your neck. Your body became stiff as you clutch your fist to control yourself.

This was too much for you, you weren't prepared but he had to, scratch that he needed to be close to you. He was going insane, his body and mind getting euphoric just by your mere scent which he was inhaling. He kept on mumbling sorry again and again as if it would change something, anything, he was desperate.

You looked ahead, not uttering even a single word as he poured his heart out as he cried, his face still buried at the crook of your neck. You could feel his tears slipping down from your neck and sipping inside your clothes fabric or your chest. His grip on you tightened almost as if he was scared you would disappear anytime soon and you let him do what he wanted, till midnight.

"I'm sorry babe, I fucked up. I wish we could get back together like we used to and rebuilt our relationship. I love you so fucking much it's actually crazy how I didn't realize I need you this much when I was with you. Guess I took you for granted but please please please I'll do anything to gain you back please don't slip away from me."

And he cried all of the pain and guilt away which built up in him since the time he broke up. He didn't care if your roles in the relationship changed, he didn't care if you treat him nonchalantly, he just wanted you to love him and be with him.

His cries subsidized as the time passed and you could hear him sniffling and rubbing his nose on your clothed shoulder like he always did and you stayed there silently feeling the warmth he radiated.

He removed his hand which was on your torso and held your hand and brought it in front of you both so that your hands were visible to both of you. He pulled down the sleeves of your top revealing your wrist and he could feel his and yours heart beating loudly against his chest at the sight.

Yoon Jeonghan was craved beautifully on your wrist and when he pulled the sleeves of his own hoodie up you could feel your eyes well up by noticing your name craved on his wrist right beside where your hand was with both of your names side by side.

"I love you." he simply said as he hit his head lightly on your shoulder too tried to utter another word or explain anything else. He did everything he could do and all that was left now was those three words.

"I love you too." you replied as he turn you around to face him, the shock clearly evident on his face like he wasn't expecting this. He didn't even expect you to say its okay yet alone those three words back. But before he could say something, you did.

"I loved you too damn much and I know I'll keep on doing it. Cause all you ever taught me was how to love and I'm filled with you."

He wiped the tears which slipped from your eyes as he mumbled how sorry he was that you had to go through so much pain alone.

"I love you, Yoon Jeonghan...but you betrayed your love and your times up."

With that you pushed yourself away from him, the distant and cold look coming back on your face as you left him there, alone. You stopped a cab and got in never turning back and once he came back to his senses he realized what you did. You gave him a taste of his own medicine. You let him make a fool of himself in front of you and ditched him in the end, just like he did.

He turned around to look for you but all he could see was moving cars and empty surrounding he called for you thinking that you were playing some sort of prank but little did he know that he was wrong.

Jeonghan opened his eyes, his hands clutching on the sheets as he propped himself up. He rubbed his face grabbing his head due to the unbearable headache he felt. He dreamed about his birthday again, it was slowly becoming like a nightmare to him, a nightmare which he knew had already happened.

"You're up."

He ignored his thoughts when he felt like he heard your voice, confusion laced on his face as he slowly lift his head up to see your figure leaning on the doorframe of the bed. You pulled yourself off the leaning position as you threw him a small smile before going out of the room and coming back with a tray in your hands.

You sat in front of him, the blanket was splayed across his lower half as your legs came in contact with his, confirming that it was all real.

"Is your head hurting? The hangover must have hit hard considering you drank everything in one go. Drink this and you'll feel at ease."

You handed him the drink which you made and put aside the tray. His head lingered around the words you just muttered hangover? Drank everything in one go?

"Aren't you going to drink it?" you voice brought him back, his focus once again on you. You hand made contact with his forehead and then back and his arms as you tried to feel his body temperature.

"You didn't caught fever did you?" you asked concernly. He shook his head, he was fine but he wasn't sure about anything other than that.

His eyes landed on your shirt, the one which was somewhat too big for you, half of it was tucked neatly inside your shorts. He realized it was his shirt and after that everything started to fall into places as memories of last night started flooding inside his head.

"Where were you? I didn't see you here when I woke up." he said after he drank the drink you made.

"Hyungjae came to ask me about my schedule so that we could work together on writing the song for his upcoming song."

"You went outside the apartment to meet him, like this?" he questioned as he eyed you form. You were wearing his shirt, the purple marks from last night still visible on your neck even though your hair were kept loose and shorts.

"What's the problem in this? He was just outside the door I could've even gone in my pajamas and he wouldn't have care less."

You shrugged as if it didn't bother you at all about the fact that Hyungjae was also present at the party yesterday and surely knew what Jeonghan wore and then he came to meet you and you were wearing his shirt.

It was as if you had indirectly told Hyungjae that you belonged to him and that boy never shut up but Jeonghan didn't mind about it what he minded was if you were okay with that.

"Come on I'm in the kitchen freshen up and have some breakfast with me."

He watched as you got up and headed outside the door was this actually reality? Didn't you say that he betrayed you and that you have nothing to do with him? He thought whatever you did last night was something done under the influence of alcohol in your system but he guessed you just drank purposely to avoid backing off.

He quickly made his way towards your bathroom and did his morning routine. He looked at himself in the mirror, he was shirtless since you were wearing his and he had his pants on, some of the marks of last night still visible on his upper body reminding him that you are waiting for him at the kitchen so he made his way towards it.

He saw you seated on the kitchen counter eating up ice-cream when he saw you looking at him.

"I was going to make breakfast but then it dawned me how tired I'm from last night and I lost all of my will to do anything. Will you make breakfast?"

His could feel his ears turning red after hearing you say that, a laughed escaped your lips watching him get so flustered as you motioned him to come closer to you and he did. He came towards you and you put the container of ice cream aside, your hands cradling his face to kiss his forehead, nose and then his lips.

He looked at you for a second before wrapping his hands around your body lazily, you leaned in again and he let his body relax against you and let you take the lead. You wrapped your legs around his torso bringing him more close and he sighed into the kiss. The kiss was lazy and slow like you were just trying to remember the way he felt close to you.

You pull away breathing softly as your eyes were still closed, the feeling of his lips still lingering on your own, he put his forehead on yours sighing contently.

"Are you fine?" his voice was a bit hoarse due to kissing, you opened your eyes taking look at him. You smiled pecking his lips again before removing some of the strands of hair fallen on his face.

"You still look so ethereal when the afterglow hits you." you said making him even more flustered if he wasn't already.

"I always asked you to never say it to me, it makes me flustered." he whined as he hide his face at the crook of your neck in embarrassment. Although he was embarrassed he couldn't help but feel at ease listening you talking about the things you did together in the past.

"Why did you suddenly decided to change?" he coughed as he asked you trying to remove the hoarseness in his voice.

"If you don't remember, you said you wish for us to get back together and rebuilt our relationship and I promised you I would grant all of your birthday wishes."

You smiled recalling the memories you made with him, his birthday few months prior and his confession was something you couldn't take off your head for weeks and then you decided to talk it out with Joshua since he already found his soulmate.

After talking with Joshua, you started figuring out your own feelings towards Jeonghan cause all you had even done was push aside anything related to him to not get hurt but when you actually started thinking about it you realize that if Jeonghan was ready to risk it all for you, the least you could do was give me a chance to do so and although you knew it would take sometime to trust him and love him like you did at some point you were determined to test the bond which fate had given a chance to.

"Although it took me sometime to actually consider all of this, I wasn't sure, I never have been but I guess in the end when it comes to you, there's no going back and also there must be a reason the fate tied us together right?"

You felt him smile against your lips, the weight on his shoulder was lifted finally letting him have the peace. He hugged you tight, too afraid that this moment was nothing more than a dream and he didn't want to wake up.

Having you say those words, he felt he could finally sleep at night without feeling the burden and he realized that when you love someone your ego and reputation should be thrown out of your body cause in the end you were the only thing that mattered to him, his lover, his life, his soulmate who had touch him in million ways possible.

"I love you, han." you whispered as you heard him chuckle making you frown.

"I was so used to hear to call me Yoon Jeonghan that Han felt like a distant memory to me but now it had unlocked many different kinds of emotions I kept buried inside the deepest corners of my heart. I think being with you once again there are going to be so many nostalgic rides down the memory's lane and I'm ready to risk it all for you."

With that he rubbed his nose against you as he turn around towards the gas stove to start preparing for the breakfast. He felt you hug him from behind mumbling how you were hungry and that he should hurry up, he was actually looking forward for his days now.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"The one who let me know and see myself, you are my only flower. If you bloom forever in my heart then it's okay for me to get hurt."

[redisriding]

The Right Swipe - Chapter One

A Court of Thorns and Roses Modern AU Fanfic

All character’s belong to the wonderful Sarah J Maas.

Tag List: @superspiritfestival  @duskandstarlight @perseusannabeth​

It was the steady chiming of notifications that woke Nesta. First, bringing her slowly to consciousness. Then, inciting enough panic in her just-waking mind, to cause her to bolt upright in the bed with fear.

Grabbing her phone off her bedside locker, knocking a number of items to the floor in the process, she rubbed her eyes into focus. The notifications were still pinging at regular intervals, but as Nesta peered at the screen, they weren’t from work as she had thought. 

No. The notifications appeared beside the app with the little red heart icon. Swipe. 

Nesta groaned, her head starting pound, as the previous night slowly began to come back to her. 

Telling her sisters about Thomas. Them convincing her to download Swipe. Her necking half a bottle of wine to get as drunk as they were. Her swiping tentatively on men she found attractive. Feyre putting on a power ballad playlist, and the three of them dancing around her living room belting out the hits. Collapsing on the coach in fits of laughter.  Swapping phones and swiping for men for each other - the people closest to you know what you need better than you do, after all. 

Feyre had passed out on the couch at some point, and after checking that she was okay and covering her with a blanket, Elaina and Nesta had stumbled to their respective homes. 

Nesta had had a great night with her sisters. She promised herself that she wouldn’t let it go so long this time, before they did it again. 

But Nesta hadn’t been very good at sticking to her promises recently.

Like last night when she promised herself that she would delete Swipe this morning, but as she lay back down in her bed, curiosity got the better of her and she decided she just had to see who she had matched with. 

She opened the app and clicked through to her messages. There were…a lot. Clearly her sisters had been liberal about who they had swiped right for, but Nesta had to give it to them, they had found her some handsome men. 

And how flattering that they appeared to like her back. She had been out of the dating game for so long that it was a boost for her confidence. 

Replying to a few couldn’t hurt…

—————

Elain stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Fresh from the shower and wrapped in a white towel she was physically clean. The hot water had washed away the griminess that she felt the morning after she drank alcohol. However the water failed to get rid of the disgusting feeling she felt whenever she looked at herself. 

Dropping her towel she began to examine her body. Her skin was flushed pink from the hot water but it would cool to a cream colour that was neither pale enough to be porcelain nor dark enough to be tanned, it just was. 

Her face was pretty enough, but she always made sure to wear makeup when she left the house. Or when she was in the house. On the chance that someone might ring the doorbell. 

Her hair that was now wrapped in a towel usually hung limply to her shoulders. She curled it to give it some volume. 

Her shoulder, she supposed, were nice. Delicate, feminine. She always wore dresses that showed that showed off her collar bones. 

It was everything below that that she hated.

Elain sighed as she took herself in Her sisters were so womanly and beautiful, Nesta with her big boobs, curvy hips and tiny waist. She had the kind of body that never went out of fashion. Feyre was stronger and leaner, but she wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of the swimsuit issue of IllustratedAthletes. Elain didn’t know how she was related to such beauties when she herself looked like a pre-pubescent boy. 

She cupped her non-existent breasts, her nipples so small and pale she didn’t think any man could ever desire them. She continued her assessment. Her ribs poked roughly out through her skin, but her stomach remained pudgy, as it bulged just above her public bone. Maybe if she could lose her tummy, she could be that delicate kind of pretty that came with being extremely thin. 

She turned to examine her ass, or lack there of, and what a shame since it was all the rage these days. She would need to do more squats. Her claves and ankles were sufficient. As were her arms. Although she had once overheard a woman at work say that her arms looked like twigs. 

Elain was tired of people passing comment on her body. 

She could never be what they wanted her to be. No matter how hard she had tried. 

And she had tried. 

The only man she had ever been with, Grayson, used to make comments about her body. That her stomach was bloated, that her thighs were rubbing together, or her arms flabby. He would tell her to leave her shirt on while they had sex, he’d turn the lights off, or, the one that upset Elain the most, he’d only take her from behind because he told her that her face was too old to look at. 

So she had plucked and scrubbed, waxed and buffed, bought expensive face creams, and spent hours in the gym.

All to be what he had wanted her to be. 

To be good enough for him. 

And in the end, when she failed, he left her. 

That had been two years ago. Elain hadn’t been with a man since. 

No man would want her now anyway.

Turning away from the mirror she quickly put on underwear and pulled on a floral print dress. She loved her floral dresses, they compensated for her lack of womanliness in her body and made her feel feminine. 

She was just taking the towel from her hair when the notification popped up on her phone. A new match had sent her a message on Swipe. 

Elain felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach, as they always did when she got a notification from match.

Opening Swipe she clicked into the profile of the guy who messaged her. 

Lucien. 30. Polo player. New to Velaris and need to know some good spots to eat. 

Flicking through his photos, Elain had to admit he was handsome. Tall and broad he had dark tanned skin and long red hair. An unusual combination but one that clearly worked for the man. One close up picture of his face, revealed some scaring around his eye, but nevertheless he looked kind.

She clicked into the message he sent her. 

Good morning Elain, how are you doing today? 

It was simple. Polite. Infinitely more positive than the men who messaged her to make crass comments about her appearance or what they might like to do with her. 

Elain felt her stomach flip again as she stared down at the message. 

With a self-satisfied smile to herself, she began typing a reply. 

————— 

Feyre was too hungover to be in work. She had woken up that morning on her couch - covered in a blanket that her sisters had clearly thrown over her before leaving the night before - with a severe crick in her neck. Sitting up, massaging her shoulder, she took stock of her sitting room. The empty wine bottles, crumpled pizza boxes, cushions strewn everywhere. The aftermath might have been a big mess for her to clean up but she had had a great night with her sisters. 

Now she stood at the cash register staring down a long queue of waiting customers, while her brain thumped in her skull.

“I’m taking a break,” she called to Nuala before turning and walking away from her till. 

“Hey!” Cerridwen called after her, “Come back here! You can’t just walk away like that we’re swamped.”

Feyre ignored the grumbles of the two managers as she headed through the kitchen and ducked out the back door. The cool autumn air hit her and she breathed in deeply. 

The smell of coffee inside was doing nothing to help her stomach, she thought, as she felt the cold slice of pizza she had grabbed on the way out the door this morning churn in her stomach. 

Shimming down the wall to sit on the cold concrete ground, Feyre pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. 

She had a new notification on Swipe. 

Clicking open the app her eyes bulged when she saw the handsome man who had sent her a message. 

He was tall and tanned with long blonde hair. His photos showed him partaking in a number of outdoor pursuits including horse riding and shooting, but one picture was him all dressed up wearing a tux and a masquerade mask. 

Feyre felt her body respond as she clicked open his bio. 

Tamlin. 33. Not looking for anything serious…just a wife ;)

Feyre snorted. Good looking and funny, he appeared almost too good to be true. 

She opened the message he had sent her. 

Hello beautiful Feyre. What are you doing tonight?

Feyre typed out a reply

Not much, I need to clean my apartment after last night :( 

He messaged back almost instantly

Wild night? ;)

I got drunk with my sisters, things got a bit messy haha

Sounds fun. How many sisters do you have?

It was! Regretting it this morning though haha. I have two. 

Hungover? Nice, older or younger?

Yeah…and I’m in work this morning :( Both older. 

Aww poor baby Feyre, hungover in work only to go home and clean up after up after your sisters. 

I know, how unfair?! :( 

Sounds almost like a fairytale - Cinderella. You’re missing something though…

What’s that?

A handsome Prince to whisk you away. 

Any ideas where I could find one of those? The frogs I’ve been kissing have turned out to be just that.

Let me take you out for dinner tonight?

Feyre’s heart started racing as she looked at the message. Tamlin was asking her on a date. A proper date. She’s never been on one before. All her and Isaac did was get drunk and have sex. This handsome man was asking her out for dinner. 

That would be really nice :) 

Do you know Under the Mountain? 

That really expensive restaurant that everyone is talking about? Of course! The waiting list is months long though??? 

That’s the one  - meet you there at 8pm ;) 

Holy shit! This guy Tamlin must be rich on top of being handsome and funny…or at least very well connected. What on earth was he doing on Swipe? He must have women throwing themselves at his feet…and yet, tonight he was taking her on a date. 

Excitement punctured through her hangover. She was going on a date. Tonight! With the man of her dreams. AND he was taking her Under the Mountain. 

Oh. My. Gods. 

What was she going to wear. 

The door to the coffeeshop opened with a bang snapping Feyre from her reverie. Nuala, or maybe it was Cerridwen, stood there glaring down at Feyre, “Breaks over, get back to your register.” 

Even getting in trouble with her manager couldn’t put Feyre in a bad mood, she hopped up off the ground and followed Cerridwen, or maybe it was Nuala, back inside. 

The queue was even longer than it had been before she left. Logging onto her register beside the new girl, Alis, who was clearly flustered, she called the next customer forward. 

“What can I get you?” She asked without looking up. 

“Three large americanos, two blueberry muffins, and one pain au chocolat, please,” a warm, deep voice replied. 

“Three large americanos, two blueberry muffins, and one pain au chocolat,” Feyre repeated, punching the order into her register. “Can I take a name?”

“Rhys”

“Okay, Reece, that will be $18.90,” it was only then that Feyre glanced up. Standing in front of her till, gazing down upon her with the most vivid violet eyes she had ever seen was the most handsome man she had ever seen. 

All the thoughts of going on that date tonight with Tamlin emptied from her head. All that mattered was Reece standing before her.

A flicker of amusement crossed his face as he looked back at her. It was only then that Feyre realised he stood there, card in hand, waiting for her to put through the transaction. 

“Eh sorry,” she said with a shake of her head, “just tap here,” gesturing to the card machine. 

As he tapped his card and waited for the payment to go through, Feyre turned and pulled three large cups off the coffee machine. Grabbing a pen she quickly scribbled ‘REECE’ across the side of each and passed them down the line for Nuala, or maybe it was Cerridwen, to make the coffee. 

Turning back to the register she found Reece smiling at her. 

It was absolutely dazzling, she was sure her jaw dropped open slightly. 

Regaining her senses she moved away from him, towards the pastries, quickly picking up the tongs, she dropped two blueberry muffins and the pain au chocolat into a brown paper bag. 

Three coffees. Three pastries. Feyre couldn’t help but wonder who they were for. Three seemed to suggest that he wasn’t going home to have Saturday morning breakfast with his girlfriend. 

Ah, who was she kidding, a man like that could easily have two girlfriends and be able to pull it off. 

Maybe he would like a third. 

Shaking her head free of that little thought, she headed back to him where he waited, watching her, by the till. 

“Here are your muffins and pain au chocolat, the coffees will just be a few moments.”

“Thanks,” he said with another smile, but when she looked at Reece she realised that he was not looking at her face…but at her chest. 

No…not looking at her chest. He was trying to read her name badge. 

“It’s Feyre,” she said, flicking her name badge. 

Reece merely smiled again and nodded. 

They stood in awkward silence for a beat before Cerridwen or Nuala called the order. Hustling to the counter, Feyre picked up the cups of steaming coffee, and popped them in a cardboard tray for Reece to carry. 

“Three americanos,” she said, handing them over to him with a shy smile. 

“Thanks.”

“Have a nice day!’

“You too.”

“I will.” She stood there watching him, he hesitated for a moment before turning to head for the door, but not before he called back over his shoulder. 

“Feyre?”

A spark shot through her at the sound of her name falling from his mouth, “Yes?”

“It’s Rhysand” he said, gesturing to the tray of coffees with a wink. 

—————

Cassian couldn’t stop staring at the woman on the screen in front of him. He was lying in bed tapping through her pictures, and had been for at least the last 15 minutes, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

He had awoke that morning to a notification from that app, Swipe, he had downloaded months ago and then proceeded to forget all about. It wasn’t like there were many women in the Illyrian mountains for him to swipe through anyway. Many of anyone really, not amongst the trees.

He was easily the youngest person who lived up there by about 30 years. The old men who frequented the bar in the village nearest to his cabin liked to give him a hard time about it. They had all moved to the cities in their youths to find lives and wives, only returning to the cold mountains after a bitter divorce of the death of their beloved. They told him constantly that he needed to get out of the mountains, to go to Velaris or Hewn City and get himself a girl. It was their constant picking that had Cassian downloading Swipe in the first place. 

Not that it had helped him get the old men off his back. For one they didn’t understand dating apps, and secondly, because there were precisely two women in his Illyria village on Swipe. One of whom was Emerie, his former friends with benefits who had gone and got herself a boyfriend in one of the seasonal workers who came up to mange the forrest. The other wasn’t worth mentioning. 

He had forgot all about Swipe, and women in general before coming down to Velaris. He made the trip every year to see Rhys, before the snow made it difficult for him to leave his cabin until the spring. 

Azriel had recently moved to Velaris, and the three of them had stayed up drinking whiskey and talking shit long into the night. He was hungover as fuck. Maybe that’s why he was having such a hard time computing the beautiful woman who had apparently mega-matched him. Whatever that meant. 

Cassian continued to stare at the picture of her in her tight black dress that showed off the soft feminine curve of her body. Her long hair fell loose on her shoulders framing her perfect face. 

He tapped through the other photos yet again. He knew the order now. Tight black dress, bikini pic, pretty green dress, bikini pic, sexy red dress, gym shot. 

It was this final picture that had Cassian’s eyes out on stalks. His cock that had been hard when he had woken up had begun throbbing at that. Hot and sweaty after what he supposed was a heavy season - IN THE GYM - the woman was an absolute goddess. 

And she had mega-matched with him? Cassian knew he was in good shape, but he didn’t think a mountain man like that could ever stand a chance with a city girl like that.

No, someone must have taken her phone and swiped through. 

Or maybe she wasn’t even real. 

She was probably a model and someone was using her pictures to catfish men on dating apps. Emerie had made him watch a show about that once. Scary stuff. 

Still, on the off chance that maybe she was real, he might as well shoot his shot. 

Fumbling around with the app, he tried to figure out how to message her. 

That was when her bio popped up. 

With a quiet curse, Cassian punched the pillow beside him. This woman was a queen, and by gods was he prepared to worship at her feet. 

With a quick prayer that she would reply, he typed out a message. 

—————

“Good morning,” Rhys sang as he walked through the door of Azriel’s penthouse apartment. 

Azriel, who sat at the kitchen table staring into a mug of coffee, cringed. “How are you so happy this morning?”

Rhys smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s a beautiful day!”

Azriel just blinked at him. “Please go take your sunniness somewhere else.”

“I would, but I have something you want,” he smirked. 

“And what might that be?” 

“Coffee and a blueberry muffin.”

Azriel’s head shot up. He noticed the bag that Rhys was holding in one hand and the tray of cups in the other. “Where did you get those?”

“Coffeeshop down the street.”

“Is it good?”

“There was a queue out the door so I would imagine so.” Not to mention a pretty little barista, but Rhys didn’t think Azriel would be swayed by that. In fact it could be something he actively avoided. 

“Anything has to be better than this,” He sighed peering back down at his mug. 

“You make it?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself?”

“Function over taste.”

Rhys placed the coffees and the pastries on the table and plopped into the seat opposite Azriel. “There are so many great coffee places around here man, you need to get out and explore.”

Azriel just shrugged as he reached for the bag and pulled out a blueberry muffin.

“How long have you lived here now?” Rhys prodded.

“Almost a month.”

“Almost a month and you don’t even have a coffee place, shameful.”

Azriel shrugged again, taking a bite of his muffin. 

Rhys worried for his friend. Azriel was happiest amongst the shadows. Unfortunately, he had just become the Velaris Black Wings biggest signing for the season, and something like that brought him into the spotlight. Especially in Velaris, where good looks, status, and money mattered to people. And Azriel had all three. 

Ever since he had moved from his lower division team in Illyria, the only time he left the house was to go to practice, or for a game, and then he was sheltered in his hockey player bubble. Ask the guy to walk down the street and the 6’4 mountain of muscle broke out in a stress rash. 

“I have a date tonight,” Rhys said, hoping to change the conversation. 

“Oh yeah?” Azriel asked, taking a sip of coffee. He didn’t make a face, unlike when he drank the suff he percolated himself. 

“Yeah.”

“How did you meet her?” 

“You know that app Swipe?”

“No.”

“Of course not. You have women throwing themselves at you everywhere you go.”

Azriel appeared to blush faintly under his tanned skin, “I don’t like it when they do that.”

“I know buddy, it must be so difficult to find yourself constantly surrounded by beautiful women.”

“They just want me for my body…or my money.” Azriel frowned.

Rhys frowned. Azriel wasn’t one to talk about the touchy feely stuff, but the guy was sensitive. “Is that such a bad thing?”

Azriel didn’t answer. “So this app?” He asked after a moment. 

“Yeah Swipe. Basically, you make a profile and you can look through girl’s profiles. If you both Swipe right for each other, then you match and you can start chatting.”

“That’s how you met this girl you’re going out with tonight?”

“Yeah, her name’s Amarantha. We’ve been chatting and its going well, so I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink. You want to see a picture?”

Azriel shrugged again, but Rhys knew his friend was curious. Taking his phone from his pocket he pulled up Amarantha’s profile. She was beautiful, with porcelain skin and long red hair. 

He passed his phone to Azriel. “Tap here for more pictures.”

Azriel’s expression didn’t change as he tapped through the pictures. “I hope it goes well for you,” he said, passing Rhys’s phone back to him. 

“Me too. It has been so long since I was last on a date.”

“It’s just like riding a bike, right.”

Rhys chuckled, “I sure hope so.” 

An easy silence fell between them as they slowly sipped their coffees and ate their muffins. It was really good. Definitely good enough to go back again for. Not that there would be any other reason. He had a date tonight he reminded himself, he needed to forget about the pretty little brunette, Feyre, out of his mind. 

If only he could. 

“Where is Cass?” He asked, shaking himself from his thoughts. 

“Still in bed,” Azriel said with a small smile, “he was wasted last night.”

“Indeed he was. I worry about him, up there alone.”

“Me too, but he won’t hear it. He’s a mountain boy at heart, he won’t be happy in the city.”

Rhys felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. “You sure you’re still talking about Cass?” He asked, standing up from the kitchen table. 

Azriel just nodded. 

—————

Azriel watched Rhys cross the giant living space, and head for the stairs, coffee and pastry in hand for Cassian. The three of them had got drunk last night for the first time in a long time, and Azriel had forgot how sad he got when he was hungover. It was the combination of the booze clearing his system and not having slept right. At least that’s what Azriel told himself. 

In reality though, he hadn’t felt like himself since he moved to Velaris, and the hangover was just heightening the emotions. 

He sighed deeply, and drained the end of his coffee. It really was better than the stuff he made for himself. Rhys was right, he did need to get out of his apartment and get to know his neighbourhood. It was just so intimidating. He was a small town boy, born and raised in the mountains, he didn’t know this city or anyone in it, except for Rhys, and yet everyone seemed to know him. It was incredibly overwhelming. 

At least in Illyria, he knew the name of everyone who had known his. For they had grown up together, not because his face was splashed across sports pages and gossip magazine’s alike. 

Despite being in this massive city, Azriel was lonely. He had Rhys of course, but the guy was busy. Thankfully Cassian would be here for a few weeks to keep him company, while he too stocked up on human interaction and other supplies before heading to his cabin high in the Illyrian mountains for the winter. 

But neither of his best friends could give Azriel what he really missed. 

The love of a good woman. 

He and Mor had been together since they were teenagers in school. He absolutely adored her and she was everything to him. She loved him too, but she wasn’t in love with him. How could she be, when she loved women. 

After almost 10 years together Mor had broken up with him. She had told him that she had been living a lie and that she had fallen in love with a woman named Rita. 

Three years later and Mor and Rita were now married with a son. A son who looked just like Azriel, because he was the one who had provided the “genetic material” for the boy. It was this story that the tabloids loved more than any other. 

Mor and Rita were honest with their son about who Azriel was, but he played more of a favourite uncle roll than a Dad. It broke Azriel’s heart that they were still in Illyria and he couldn’t just pop by at the weekends like he used to. They promised to call regularly, but it just wasn’t the same. 

Here in Velaris, Azriel felt totally alone. 

He needed to change that and Rhys had given him an idea. 

He unlocked his phone and hit download on the Swipe app. 

[literatehiss]

You own (my) a heart

Written for Day 3 of JonEliasWeek Prompts: Entity swap & “We have a problem" Descriptions of Violence Jon needed to get rid of his rather clingy ex, Simon gives him the contact details of his favourite problem solver Read on AO3 here In one reality. Jonah Magnus leant into his love of knowledge, of watching those around him and knowing their deepest secrets. In another he made another, more violent, choice.

Who needs to control people through knowing things about them, when you could break all of their fingers and achieve a very similar outcome. All it took was yet another party with yet another group of rich rats laughing and making snide comments about him, an anger that almost scared him bubbling up until he took a cake knife to the throat of one of them. They fell quickly and he panted, satisfied over their cooling bodies. It wasn’t regret that filled him once the bloodlust faded, closer to irritation, a mild fear perhaps. He couldn’t kill everyone in the room, even if he had wanted to, far too many of the guests had fled the hall that the party was located in. He had ruined his own life. “It was worth it” a voice whispered in his head like music. Another idle thought led him to carve out the man’s heart and replace it with his own. A messy, frantic business that he barely managed to do before the lack of blood flow killed him. At least he wouldn’t get put in one of those awful prisons, he thought in his last moments.

And then he woke up. A new body, a new life, an old, scarred heart.

A man willing to kill anyone put in front of him and able to never be caught was a valuable ally indeed. A laughing Italian artist and an irritable merchant-sailor who had stayed while the rest of the sheep fled the party made fine allies, even if Jonah would never call them friends. One taken by the fear of heights and the other so deeply entrenched in his own loneliness that Jonah was surprised the man could even bring himself to introduce himself to him.

Centuries passed. Bodies of his victims taken and shed like ill-fitting suits. He would find bodies that he quite liked occasionally, and would do his best to keep them, but all would eventually fall to the curse of old age. Elias had been such a body, he had stayed in that one for almost 20 years by the time he met the youngest Fairchild.

Jonathan couldn’t remember the first time he met Simon, he had been very young when his mother had died and even younger when she had started to spend more time with the Fairchilds, taking her young son with her, in an act even the other Fairchild’s thought was fairly irresponsible.

Even when his mother has passed away, damn the Corruption, Simon still came and visited him at his grandmother’s. Not often of course, but at least once every year or so. There were two main reasons for this.

First, Simon Fairchild was 500 years old and hated being bored. It turns out after so many centuries, quite a few things started to become boring.

Second. Children love getting thrown around. Simon didn’t particularly know why kids were born with a complete lack of fear for his Patron, but it was entertaining to just throw the various Fairchild children around. And as he grew older, Jonathan never seemed to get tired of it or grow scared as other children did. So Simon just kept coming back.

Jon had always been a quiet child, had always been the one bullied rather than the one doing the bullying. Despite Simon’s encouragement, he would never be the sort of child to go pushing the other children off of things, to watch them shriek as they fell. He was the sort of child, however, who would happily look up at the stars for hours and hours, long after he should have been asleep. Simon would join him sometimes, he preferred the endless blue of the day, but he could still appreciate the true eternity of space. He told Jon of his plans for a Space Station, the Daedelus, and that he was looking for someone to send up there, and then had to fend off the enthusiastic pleas to send Jon up there. He only managed to calm the young boy down with the assurance that he needed someone who would be scared of the Vastness of space, not someone who would have “Far too much fun up there”. Anyway, it was going to take quite a while to set up everything, Jon might not be interested in space by then, he teased.

Jon could remember the first person he sent into the Vast in perfect detail, even years later. Bullies had started to leave him alone, not because he wasn’t a target, but because it was hard to do anything to a kid who could climb up onto the roofs of school buildings to escape them. He was about fifteen, walking home from school, when one of the school yard bullies caught sight of him (on solid ground for once) and couldn’t help but race after the younger boy, tackling him to the ground. He looked at the younger teen’s face, expecting tears. Jon had always had dark brown eyes, but to this young bully he was sure that they were fully black, like the pupil had expanded so far as to replace his iris. And in those deep, dark eyes were the twinkling of lights, like the stars in the sky. The world went dark around him, Jon vanished from beneath him and he was suspended in space, surrounded by stars that never seemed to end. No sign of the sky or the ground. Before he began to fall.

And fall.

And fall.

No one ever found the young bully’s body and Jon would never tell, but when Simon came knocking a few days later, he couldn’t help the proud grin on his face when the missing teenager was mentioned.

That bully might have been the first but he was nowhere close to the last. Various bullies and cruel teachers vanished from his school in the time he was there, a habit which continued into University. When his grandmother died, SImon was there with a hand on his shoulder and an invitation to join the Fairchilds that was eagerly accepted. He hadn’t finished University by the time the Daedelus rocket was set off, something he would complain about every time he saw Simon, well into his mid-20’s.

Jon was at home, a rather nice apartment that Simon paid for him, when there was a knock at his door, a glance at who was there and Jon groaned. He’d had fun at University, had dated around a bit before he met Georgie and their almost inevitable break-up and he hadn’t bothered since then. Most of his ex’s were either still friendly or he had sent them into the Vast. An efficient way to get rid of asshole exes, except for one. Jack was an adrenaline Junkie, he loved heights, did not get vertigo and most definitely was not weirded out by the mini planetarium Jon had set up in the unused bedroom of the house he stayed in at University. Jack was harder to get rid of, as proved by the fact that he was knocking at Jon’s door. His normal methods didn’t work on the man and he didn’t want to admit to Simon that he was afraid of a random man, unaffiliated with any of the Powers. Not that it stopped Simon from knowing. Three days into Jon’s self-imposed isolation to avoid the man who was camping outside his doorway, a business card was left on the window sill of an open window.

Elias Bouchard

Problem Solver

And then a number and email.

Unlike Jon, Jack needed to eat and eventually he left, leaving Jon enough time to leave his apartment and flee to one of the spacious Fairchild residences. He called the number on the card, he quite liked his apartment and would like to go back without an ex, who kicked a cat on their way home from the pub once, lurking outside his house.

The voice and the other end was charming, assuring him that Jack would be gone and that there would be no link to himself. He also laughed at Jon’s awkward jokes and stated that he “couldn’t wait to meet him” though he qualified that as that he was excited to meet another friend of Simon’s, but the three second hesitation before he said that was enough to make Jon flush.

Jon honestly forgot about the whole deal until two weeks later. He was still staying in the Fairchild house about an hour away from his apartment, when a sharp knock came from the door. One of his “cousins” went to get the door but came back saying that it was for Jon, one of Simon’s friends.

The man at the door was nothing like what Jon had expected. Well dressed and calm, Bouchard shifted a package so that he could shake Jon’s hand. He handed over the package, and watched as Jon peeled away the paper. Inside lay a still bloody heart.

“As you can see. I dealt with your problem Jonathan.”

“Um, Jon is fine.” he couldn’t stop looking at the heart, dripping blood on the stone steps that lead up to the door. The other man smiled widely.

“Then you must call me Elias.”

Jon just nodded, still morbidly distracted.

“Simon will pay you if that’s your sort of thing.”

“Hmm, normally yes, but for you I will waive the charge. Though I would happily accept payment in the form of a date if you are agreeable?”

Jon looked away from the heart, back to the rather handsome man on his doorstep. He watched as the man’s smile dropped slightly as he stepped back inside. Jon placed the heart down on the side table next to the door, someone else could deal with that he thought, and grabbed his jacket. By the time he stepped back out the front door, shutting it behind him, Elias was fiddling with a knife and looked up at him, surprised.

“Well… Are you busy?”

The knife slipped back up into Elias’s sleeve and the grin came back to his face.

“For you? Never”

[gravelyhumerus]

Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 5

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

Emily surprises JJ at her soccer game.

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr: Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

Emily walked out of her Philosophy class, waving goodbye to Spencer Reid, who had back-to-back classes that afternoon. He walked away, dodging the crowds of students milling about on his way to his Physics class.

Things had calmed down in the weeks after midterm season, giving Emily a bit more free time to relax into a rhythm during her second year at college.

In her bag was a small bag of cookies that she had baked last night, wrapped up in carefully and tucked away. She was making her way through the quad, setting her sights on the soccer field. Emily checked her phone for the time: it was 2:25 PM and JJ’s soccer game should be almost done. She knew she was going to miss most of the game, but if she hurried she would catch the tail end.

That morning, Emily had looked up the games time on the varsity sports website, and triple checked that she’d be able to make it.

Dodging an enthusiastic skateboarder who was using the ramp down to the field as his own personal skate park, Emily hurried towards the bleachers, climbing onto the second row near the away team’s goal.

Emily squinted towards the field, setting down onto the ice cold metal bleacher seat and regretting her choice of a plaid skirt and fishnet stockings. A familiar blonde ponytail caught her eye and her heart jumped at the sight of her tackling another girl, freeing the ball and turning Emily’s way, barrelling down the field.

She had the ball! JJ pulled ahead, dodging the advances of the other team before kicking it to her teammate, who confidently circled around past the defence.

Emily’s heart was in her throat. She had never particularly cared about sports, but with her time in Italy, football (or soccer as she reminded herself to refer to it as) was something Emily could confidently say she understood enough to have a conversation about. She thanked her lucky stars that the first jock Emily had a crush on played a sport she at least knew the rules of.

JJ ran into centre field, and her teammate passed the ball to her, JJ kicked it right into the net, sneaking right past the goalie’s outstretched fingertips.

Goal!

The crowd cheered, Emily joined in and clapped as JJ’s teammates swarmed her, jumping and hugging her in a mess of celebratory bodies.

Emily looked around, while the crowd was spotty, there was still a fairly good turn out. Most of them seemed to be family members, though there were certainly groups of students, wearing their school colours and the logo emblazoned across their chests.

Emily peered at the scoreboard, it was 4–2, as JJ just scored a tie breaking goal with ten minutes left in the second half. They reset, and JJ switched out with another, taller girl who high fived her as she walked onto the pitch.

JJ sat on the bench with elbows on her knees and her feet planted firmly on the ground in her running shoes. She gulped some water as her eyes remained fixed on the action as the ref blew the whistle, and the game continued.

Without JJ to watch, Emily’s eyes roamed across the field, taking in the action without that much interest. She hoped that their team won, obviously, because that would make JJ happy, but she had no personal investment into their college’s athletic standing.

Emily knew that while her class had cut into most of the game, she would be able to linger around and hopefully walk back to residence with JJ. She had cookies to give her.

Now, the cookies were just an excuse to hang out with her. Or a bribe. Probably a bribe. Well, JJ had said, back when they studied together almost two weeks ago, that she wanted more cookies. As she had enough free time to walk to the nearby grocery store to pick up the dough, Emily was furiously trying to bake the best cookies she’d ever made. She had briefly considered making them from scratch, but the pressure of it all made her choose the prepackaged dough.

Emily actually didn’t spend more time eating the dough than baking, this time, because she wanted them to be perfect for JJ.

She had been tempted to invite her to bake with her, but despite JJ’s initial request for Emily to tutor her, JJ had not really followed up. In fact, Emily hadn’t seen much of the girl at all. The anxious part of her brain told her that JJ was avoiding her, but Emily, for the life of her, could not figure out why. Every time that she ran into JJ, the blonde seemed anxious to leave.

The clock counted down, five, four, three, two, one. The buzzer sounded. The other team hadn’t managed to score another goal, so their team had won!

The crowd cheered in delight at the victory. JJ and her team jumped together, piling on top of one another in a group hug.

While the other audience members packed up their bags and blankets, chatting as they filed out of the bleachers, Emily remained, waiting for JJ.

She watched as JJ removed her cleats, shin pads and long socks, swapping them instead for a pair of boots. She zipped up her windbreaker on top of her shirt and followed her teammates as they grabbed their bags and made their move to go home.

It was now or never.

“JJ, hi!” Emily called out, waving at her from the side of the bleachers.

JJ caught her eye, then said something to her teammates, who waited for her on the edge of the field.

“Great game!” Emily said, “at least what I saw of it.”

“Emily!” JJ said, smiling at her.

“I, uh-” Emily rifled through her bag. “The cookies you liked. I made some last night and thought that you may want some.”

JJ’s eyes widened as she took them.

“Thank you, Emily,” she stated, smiling quickly. “That’s very nice of you, I hope you didn’t go out of your way for me.”

“Oh it was no problem,” Emily said, trying to keep her voice calm, “Derek practically begs me to and well, you know, it’s nice to do something relaxing during midterms.”

JJ nodded, then turned to look at her teammates, who were beckoning for her.

“I haven’t seen you in awhile,” Emily said, “Did you need any more help with your French?”

Something strange passed across JJ’s face, first she looked happy, excited, but then nervous she looked away from Emily.  

JJ hadn’t texted her. Emily had given her number to her last Wednesday, and had received radio silence ever since.

“Uh, maybe. I’ll text you if I need any help,” JJ said, “I’m actually having a bit of trouble writing a presentation.”

A spark of hope ignited in Emily’s chest. Just as she was going to reply, she heard someone approaching them from the bleachers, clamouring down the steps from behind.

“JJ!” Penelope Penelope exclaimed, “And Emily! I didn’t know you were here! You could have sat with me!”

She was dressed in a long purple peacoat and had her bright blonde hair tied up in space buns. She had a small blanket folded up in her arms that she was likely using to sit on the cold bleachers.

“I didn’t see you,” Emily says honestly.

“Hey Pen,” JJ said, turning to her roommate, “No Spence today?”

“He has physics,” Penelope and Emily responded in unison, before laughing.

“We just had Philosophy together,” Emily explained. “He had to run to his next class.”

“Wait that reminds me,” Penelope exclaims, “Emily you must come with us to trivia tonight! We need six people for our team and I don’t wanna get stuck with some randos like last time.”

Emily looked over at JJ quickly to gauge her reaction. Trivia sounded really fun, and the excuse for spending time with JJ sounded even better.

“You could bring your friend Derek,” JJ replied, not balking at the idea of Emily’s presence. “Spence hasn’t stopped talking about him since the party.”

Emily felt herself breathe an internal sigh of relief. JJ wasn’t avoiding her after all. And maybe even wanted to spend time with her.

“Oh he really is a beautiful sight, that Derek Morgan,” Penelope just about purrs in response.

Emily can not help but laugh.

“That makes, what, five?” Penelope counted on her fingers, “Jennifer, do we have another friend?”

JJ frowned, shook her head, which made Penelope laugh.

Emily thought for a second, thinking about who in her circle would enjoy trivia. Aaron. Of course.

“I think I could talk someone into it,” she said.

“It’s a date!” Penelope exclaimed. “Now off to the locker room with you Jennifer! You stink!”

She gently pushed JJ towards her teammates and JJ laughed before waving goodbye and heading towards the gym. Penelope looped her arm through Emily’s and had already begun to explain the details of the trivia night.

From what Emily gathered, it was at the bar right off campus, and luckily for them, allows underage students in on Monday nights to play trivia, and the bartenders didn’t really check IDs at the bar so they could usually get served if they didn’t get too wild. There were prizes and Penelope was convinced that with Reid, they had a good shot at winning, depending on the topics of course.

Emily and Penelope walked back to their building, finally exchanging numbers and the promise to meet in the hall no later than seven that night.

As soon as Emily was in her room she found herself grinning. She did a small dance in her room in excitement for the evening before pulling out her phone to tell Derek and Aaron that they had plans for the evening.

[life-lessons-i-learned]

The worst day of my life…

People often think that having been through so much trauma the worst day of my life must of been when I was first raped or first being attacked, when I got sectioned or my mental health being so bad they sent me over a 100 miles away from home. It wasn’t if you ask me what the worst day of my life was it was when my abuse and sexual exploitation came to light.

I’d been in a open mental health facility for 3 months voluntarily and every three months you would have a review of your care where your parents and all the professionals dealing with you would sit in a room with you and discuss what was going well and what needed more therapy or any medication changes; they also discussed discharge dates and I was doing everything in my power to seem stable, they was aware I was still self harming and knew that I was hiding sharps everywhere possible to the point they couldn’t really control it.

When my review day came I dressed up smart and was getting antsy as everything seemed to be running behind but I thought nothing of it. When they was finally ready a nurse came to let me through the locked doors to this meeting.

I walked into the room filled with all these professional stern looking faces but there was only one face I knew, my psychologist. I was confused as they introduced themselves as police investigators. Although in this room with heating, cozy sofas and warm drinks the air was cold, the tension was palpable and even 13yo me knew something wasn’t right.

Then the words came tumbling out the police officers mouth…we for months have been scanning through scores of text messages on your old mobile phone we took when you went missing off the streets, we know you’ve been sexually exploited, we know you’ve been raped and we know everything that’s been happening.

It was like being stabbed right through the chest, it was as if the biggest part of me had been revealed naked for the world to see. I was sobbing and I felt as if I couldn’t breath, every sense was in overdrive as if I could of pulled all the flesh off my own body just to feel more comfortable.

I screamed to be taken back to my bedroom, I screamed until my voice was coarse and felt like I might pass out. When someone finally listened and let me back through them heavy locked doors, I sprinted, I sprinted back down the corridor to my room when I curled in fetal position, rocking on the floor screaming and sobbing.

The only way I felt I could realease some of this pain and anger was to self harm, I pulled my razor blades out and starting manically hack at my arms, legs and stomach. A support worker came in and tried to talk to me and get me to stop but I couldn’t hear anything over my feelings screaming inside me. I was bleeding everywhere, my clothes were ripped when I heard the alarm, I could hear footsteps pounding down the corridor.

They all launched on me 8 people it took to restrain my body and I gripped onto this razor blade with a clenched fist I could feel the blade cutting into my hand as they tried to wrestle it out. Once they had the blade they slowly filtered out the room aware that I had no intention of hurting them…only myself.

I didn’t move from the spot they restrained me in I slowly curled up covered in blood and ripped clothes on the rough carpet thinking there was no way I could cry or scream anymore. I didn’t move from that spot until 5 hours later.

At this point they didn’t feel safe to leave me on my own so I was on permanent observations, a person watching and following me round 24/7. When I finally moved from that spot on the carpet I just wanted a cigarette, they walked me through to the hospital garden and the people on the ward looked shocked; these were people I’d been living with for three months who had only seen me maybe 7hours earlier looking smartly dressed and in a somewhat good mood, now seeing me covered in dried blood, my hair matted, makeup all over my face and all my clothes ripped.

When I got outside they only let me into the garden with the person doing my observations, it seemed appt that the rain was pouring down. The person observing me taking shelter under the awning. where as I stepped onto the concrete patio stones and sat down, lit my cigarette and let the rain wash over me, my cuts stung and I was freezing cold but it was as if I had lost every feeling in my body, my body purely in shock from the events of the day.

The staff talked to me softly and they offered me medications but it all just seemed to numb me further. After the fresh air I let them clean my cuts and bandage me up. I thought it was over I thought I’d had enough news for the day but then the nursing team swapped over and the day kept getting worse and worse.

There was always these two support workers (J & D I’ll call them for the purpose of this) that I disliked because they seemed to always offer the toughest approach that I hated. When they came onto the night shift they had obviously been told everything that had transpired and came and found me in the relaxation room laid out, they offered to take over my observations because they wanted to chat. They explained that they knew what had happened and came and sat down very close to me to discuss what I had missed once I had left the meeting room.

The police needed my mobile phone as evidence to track numbers and trace some of these people that had groomed me. They needed my permission to take it off me. They also explained that the police wanted to do video interviews with me where I give evidence on my abusers. It was like receiving a whole other soul crushing blow, these were men that beat me and raped me but had worn me down so much that I loved them, I didn’t want to get them in trouble, they were still texting me and harassing me as J&D talked to me.

These women who I’d once strongly disliked were now softly talking to me and trying to tell me what I should of already known, these men didn’t love me, they were using my underage body for their own financial gain. J&D were treating me as if their own child trying to encourage me to eat and drink, hand feeding as if a small toddler.

After much pressure from them I gave up my phone, regretting it from the minute I’d handed it across to them. I agreed to give the interviews to the police and between the two of them they sat with me all night offering comfort when I finally fell asleep and woke up from my nightmares.

Im not sure if the they ruined my life when persuading me to agree to those interviews; as giving evidence for only 1 man out of hundreds to be locked up crushed me even further and spiralled my mental health way further than it already was. But they looked after me and did their best.

But still to this day it was the most traumatic and soul crushing day I’ve ever had of my life and that was now 10 years ago and I still think about it to this day.

[quickspinner]

Finding Harmony - Ch 7 Harmony (end)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

There’s quite a bit of music used in this chapter and I’ve linked the videos at the bottom, but here’s the list:

1. Aerosmith, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing (Harp Cover) by Amélie Guiboux (she has a ton of harp covers and they're all beautiful, be sure to look at her other videos; Luka's harp would probably sound considerably different, but I'm taking a little license here because it's so pretty. you can search for clarsach music on youtube if you want to hear what an actual Scottish harp sounds like, there's not a lot but there is some) 2. Chopin, Nocturne Op. 9 No 1, by Salvador Joya 3. Je Pense À Toi (original) by Amadou et Mariam 4.  Je Pense À Toi (cover) by Amar Amarni & Jasmina Petrovic

Luka surveyed his preparations critically and sighed, concluding there was really nothing left to be done. Which meant now all he had to do was sit around and wait for Marinette. He kind of hated this part, but at least tonight his phone was silent. No akuma alerts.

He took a slow breath, and then another, not quite meditating, but...centering. Reflecting. The past few months had seen their ups and downs, but he didn’t regret a second of the time he’d spent with Marinette. 

It took him hours to get to sleep that night after the gala. He was too charged up to even try to sleep in his bunk, and only long discipline (and the knowledge that his mother and sister would kill him brutally if he woke them) kept him still on the couch in the sunroom until he finally fell asleep. 

He never had wiped the lipstick off his face, which earned him at least a week of mockery from both of them. 

Neither the mockery nor the lack of sleep kept Luka from waiting outside the bakery that afternoon for their first official date. He’d never forget the look on her face when she came flying out of the door, right before she tripped and took them both down to the sidewalk (he should have been more prepared for that, but he had been too busy grinning like a loon to brace for impact). They’d walked all over Paris looking for Andre, and had a long, honest, necessary talk at the same time. 

It hadn’t stopped them from having misunderstandings and frustrations, and one horrible day where he’d lost his cool completely because he’d been scared to death watching an Akuma toss her around on the news that afternoon, without her costume. He’d never been so grateful to Chat Noir in his life as he had been when the cat finally got her out of danger at least long enough for her to transform. Ladybug finished the fight, as she always did, but Luka had been livid that Marinette had run into the fight as Marinette, and she had fired up defensively, and they had yelled at each other so hard that her parents had gently but firmly kicked him out so they could both calm down. The fight was worse since neither could tell the other what they knew, and it had taken them both days to cool off enough to talk about it. It had taken him at least a full day to admit to himself that he’d been a little unfair, because he couldn’t yell at her for the things Ladybug did, so he’d had a store of bottled up fear and frustration just waiting to spill out. It was a couple of weeks before the hurt feelings on both sides faded enough for them to be totally comfortable with each other again.

The other big issue had been her ditching him for Akuma battles. He didn’t mind, he knew she had a job to do, but Luka had, after putting a lot of thought into the phrasing, finally asked her not to give him any more false excuses. “Just tell me when you can’t tell me,” Luka told her. “Just say you have to go or whatever, I won’t push. Just please don’t make up things. Whatever it is that you’re trying to cover up, I don’t care, I trust you not to hurt me. I just...I can hear when you lie and I don’t like it.” He knew his unconditional trust confused her, but she agreed. Luka hadn’t realized how much of a strain it had been on both of them, for Marinette to come up with the excuses and him to pretend to believe them, until they stopped. It was an immense relief for them both, as it turned out.

The majority of their disagreements were small hurts, things that could be talked through and soothed and forgiven, just the normal average process of fitting two people together. Marinette was sweet, attentive, affectionate, and her confidence in his love buoyed her up when she felt down on herself. They were everything he’d dreamed they could be together. Luka knew his feelings for her were still stronger than hers for him, but he was okay with letting her feelings grow at their own pace. 

He tapped a nail painted with electric blue and black swirls on the rail with a rueful smile. If only he could get her to stop giving him things. The magnetic nail polish was an exception, her gifts were mostly small, useful things that she made herself, but it was like she couldn’t help herself. When she thought of something he might like, she had to make it for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate them, he loved her little gifts, it was just that things felt a bit...unequal. His mind didn’t work exactly like hers and his skills didn’t lend themselves to the sorts of gestures she made, and it left him feeling a little guilty. It wasn’t as if he felt he needed to pay her back, exactly, neither of them was keeping score, it was just...he wanted to be able to do things for her, too.

Well, it gave him an excellent excuse to make every grand, over-the-top gesture that came into his own romantic heart, and he’d given himself full permission to go completely overboard tonight. He shoved the sleeves of his blue v-neck sweater up his arms out of habit, and then winced and pulled them back down again as another breeze cut across the deck. The evening was pleasantly cool except when the wind picked up, but there was always wind on the river. Marinette had looked at him as if he’d lost his mind when he’d told her to eat dinner at home and then come to the Liberty after sundown. He’d refused to tell her anything else except that they would be out on the deck and to dress warmly. 

He was just wondering if he should have gone to the bakery to escort her when he spotted her walking down the bank.

Luka came across the gangplank to meet her. She was wearing a pink wool dress with white stockings and a white sweater, and she reminded him of one of her pink macaroons with the white lacy icing. Luka took Marinette’s hands in his and kissed her cheek softly. “You have got to be the sweetest thing in that bakery,” he told her, standing back to look at her again admiringly. 

She grinned, bouncing lightly on her toes. “I brought you something.” 

“Marinette,” he sighed, smiling affectionately.

“I know, I know,” she said, bouncing on her toes. “Please?”

“Okay.” 

She put a necklace in his hands made of knotted cord decorated with blue and black beads. Marinette pointed to what looked like a metal teardrop on the end. “I saw these online the other day - you can slide your pick in it, see, in the holder here, and then you can take it out when you need it, or you can just swap out to match whatever you’re wearing. It can actually hold a few at once, but of course you’ll only see the front one. I actually got a few of the holders to experiment with, I think I can do some really cool things, and if Jagged likes them, it could be a cool new accessory line. I was thinking about braiding one into a bracelet for Juleka, but I haven’t had time.” 

Luka took a pick out of his pocket and slipped it in the holder. “Cool,” he grinned, putting the cord over his head, and Marinette bounced in excitement at his pleasure. He kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Marinette. I love it, really.”

“I made one for me too,” she said, backing up to show him his Jagged Stone pick around her own neck, on a cord decorated with pink and white beads. “So we can match. I mean, not matchy-match, more...coordinate.”

Luka chuckled and pulled her into his arms. “What am I going to do with you?” he sighed into her hair, and she snuggled into his chest happily. 

“I don’t know,” she said cheekily. “You wouldn’t tell me.”

Luka laughed, and let go of her, sliding his hands down her arms to take hers. “You wanna find out?”

“Where’s everyone else?” she asked as they crossed onto the boat. 

“Below. They won’t bother us. The newest book in Maman’s favorite series just came out and I just happened to pick her up a copy this afternoon, so she probably won’t leave her room until sometime tomorrow, and I’ve given Juleka her privacy for this kind of thing enough times that she owes me.”

“What kind of thing is—” Marinette cut off as she caught sight of the tiny flickering candles scattered all over the unusually uncluttered stern. 

“Oh, Luka,” she breathed, revolving slowly.

“You like it?” 

“I love it, it’s so beautiful.” 

“I’m glad.” He took both her hands and guided her to the deck chair he’d set out for her. “Sit,” he said, and she sank into the chair, still looking around. One of the spool tables stood next to the chair, covered with a white cloth and decorated with a bowl (because a vase would tip over in a stiff breeze, he’d discovered the hard way) of flowers and more candles. Luka picked up a thermos that had been sitting by the table and poured hot chocolate into the waiting mug. “Something to help keep you warm.”

Marinette smiled as he handed it to her and took a sip. “Mm, it’s good,” she said, setting it the mug back on the table, knocking one of the little tea lights off in the process. Luka had to stop her from jumping up with a gasp. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he told her, smiling as he went to pick it up and show it to her. “Don’t worry, they’re battery powered. Fire is pretty much the worst thing that can happen on a boat so we can’t use real ones. They’re lighter than the real thing though so they’re easy to knock over, sorry about that.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Marinette sighed, sagging back in her chair.

Luka chuckled, kneeling in front of her chair as he set the candle back on the table. “I actually borrowed them from Juleka, she has a huge stockpile since she’s dating the most sappily romantic person on the planet. You wouldn’t believe how long she spent checking out every type of battery powered tea light she could get her hands on to find which one was the most realistic.” He shrugged. “I’m not above benefitting from all her hard work.” 

Marinette giggled, and then sighed. “You went to so much trouble,” she said, looking around. Too much trouble, he could hear her not say.

Luka put his hand on her cheek and brought her gaze back to him, thumb caressing her cheekbone softly. “If I let you spoil me your way, you have to let me spoil you mine, okay?”

Marinette smiled at him with so much affection that his heart skipped and stuttered. “I guess I can’t argue with that.” 

Luka couldn’t help himself; he leaned forward and kissed her softly. She smelled like chocolate as she leaned into him and his fingers tightened around hers. “I’m getting off track here,” he said, forehead pressed against hers, and then kissed her again when she nudged him with her nose. He groaned in weak protest when she let go of his hands to tangle her fingers in his hair, and he kissed her one more time, letting her draw him deeper. When she’d had her way with him he pulled back, taking her hands from around his neck and kissing them both together. “Please let me do this for you.”

“Okay,” she smiled. “Sorry. I’m not trying to ruin your plans.” 

“I promise that’s in my plan too,” Luka chuckled. “But later.” He reached for the table and unwrapped the plate of cookies and snacks that had been waiting there, and pressed the mug of hot chocolate back into her hands. “There’s a blanket by the chair if you get cold. If the wind picks up too much we’ll move to the sunroom, but I prefer it out here if that’s okay.”

“It’s wonderful. This is all so nice,” she sighed, taking a sip. “Mm, that really is good, you’re going to have to tell me what you put in it later.”

He licked his lips as he stood, tasting the chocolate she’d left on his lips, and took a breath, trying to get his head together. “I wanted to play something for you, if that’s okay.”

“Of course it is, I love hearing you play,” Marinette replied, cocking her head slightly in confusion. He played for her all the time, after all.

Luka smiled and went over to the chair he’d set up for himself across from her, uncovering the clarsàch he’d hidden next to it with a flourish. Marinette lit up with understanding and pleasure. He smiled at her as he sat down, glancing behind him briefly as he settled the harp in place. He’d arranged things so that she could see the dark water of the Seine and the glowing pillars of Notre Dame behind him. 

Luka turned his attention to the harp and found to his embarrassment that his hands were shaking slightly. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, centering himself.

“Are you...nervous?” Marinette asked, her voice sounding almost awed. 

“A little,” he admitted, opening his eyes to give her a lopsided smile. “I don’t usually get nerves like this but...this is the first time I’ve played this for anyone, and I really want to get it right.”

“Luka.” The way she said her name gave him shivers, softly and so full of emotion she sounded on the verge of tears, and he knew it didn’t matter how well he played, because she’d already understood and accepted his gift.

He prepared to play his best anyway.

Luka set his now steady fingers to the strings, and played. He glanced up after the first few notes for just a moment, and smiled to himself at the slight crease between her brows. She recognized the song, but hadn’t placed it yet despite the distinctive opening notes. 

Her confusion remained as he played the first verse. I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you’re far away and dreaming…

He glanced up again as he reached the chorus, and caught the dawning recognition, the silent “o” her mouth made as she finally recognized it. He smiled to himself and returned his full attention to his playing.

I don’t wanna close my eyes, I don’t wanna fall asleep cause I’d miss you babe, and I don’t wanna miss a thing

No amp, no speakers, just the soft, intimate sound of the harp connecting the air between them. It wasn’t as perfect, as smooth as it would have been on his guitar, but that was okay. It wasn’t about perfection. 

“Only you would play Aerosmith on a harp,” she giggled. 

“Not true,” Luka said with a smile, setting the harp carefully aside. “I had to get the music from somewhere, after all. I’m not anywhere near ready compose my own arrangements on this thing.” He reached for her hand. “Did you like it?”

“I loved it, it was so beautiful,” she said, all humor in her voice replaced by sincerity. She pulled his hand to her and kissed it. “Thank you, Luka. This has all been so special, I’m truly touched.” 

“You’re welcome, Marinette,” he said warmly, putting his other hand over hers for a moment. Then he let go and picked up his guitar from where he had tucked it behind a crate. He strummed for a moment, and improvised a soft, warm, melting melody. Marinette relaxed back in her chair and nibbled at the plate of snacks, still sipping at her hot chocolate.

He waited until she was distracted and then slipped into the next song he had planned. Marinette looked at him with round eyes, and he grinned at her. “Is that Motzart?” she asked with her mouth full.

Luka chuckled. “Chopin, actually. Nocturne in B-Flat Minor.” 

Marinette swallowed her food and began to laugh. “You’re too much. Aerosmith on the harp and Chopin on electric guitar.” 

“Do you like it?”

“Absolutely,” she sighed, leaning back and closing her eyes as he played. He watched her with a smile on his face as he played. “That was really lovely,” she said wistfully when he finished. “Promise you’ll play it again sometime.”

“Of course, chérie, anytime you want,” he said, slipping into another improvised melody. Marinette looked at him in slight surprise. He’d never called her that before. Luka took a deep breath, stopped playing altogether and sang, “Je pense à toi, mon amour, ma bien aimée, ne m'abandonne pas, mon amour, ma chérie.” I think of you, my love, my beloved, don’t leave me, my love, my dear. Marinette’s eyes opened wide and she stared at him, a flush that wasn’t from the breeze darkening her cheeks. Luka grinned as he picked up the tune with his guitar, playing slower than it was written, and continued, “Quand je suis dans ma lit, je ne rêve qu’à toi, et quand je me réveille, je ne pense qu’à toi…” When I’m in my bed, I dream of nothing but you, and when I wake, I think of nothing but you.

She looked at him like he had two heads during the verse and chorus, and he began to feel a little nervous, but her shock melted into something else as she unconsciously leaned toward him, eyes warm. Encouraged, Luka got up and moved to kneel in front of her, still playing. “Certains t’ont promis la terre, d’autres promettent le ciel, y’en a qui t’ont promis la lune, et moi je n’ai rien que ma pauvre guitare…” Some promise you the earth, others promise you the sky, there are some who promise the moon, and me I have nothing but my poor guitar.

Marinette leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her knees as he sang softly, “Je pense à toi, mon amour, ma bien aimée, ne m'abandonne pas, mon amour, ma chérie.” The final strum faded away, and for a moment they were both motionless, lost in each others’ eyes.

“Now?” Marinette asked breathlessly. 

“Now,” Luka agreed, leaning into her as he set aside the guitar. Marinette threw her arms around him and kissed him so passionately he couldn’t remember his own name until she murmured it against his lips

Luka pulled her up from the chair and sat down on it, tugging her back down to seat her between his legs. She leaned back against him, and he bent down to pick up his guitar from the deck. He put his guitar in front of them both, reaching his long arms around her.

“Can you really play like this?” 

“We’re about to find out,” he chuckled. “You’re pretty small, I think it’ll be okay. Just scoot as close to me as you can.”

She snuggled back against him, and he nuzzled her cheek before testing his reach. It was a little awkward and her hands on his thighs were a little distracting, but he thought he could manage it. “Tell me if you get uncomfortable and we’ll move,” he murmured, and played as she snuggled close against him, leaning her head back on his shoulder. He played the peace of their hearts, the flicker of the candles, the rock of the boat on the river.

Eventually he set the guitar down and reached for the blanket next to the chair instead. He spread the blanket over them both and put his arms around Marinette’s waist. They sat, watching the stars and the lights on the water.

“This is heaven,” he said softly. Marinette giggled and he smiled, knowing what she was thinking. “Kissing you is amazing,” he told her, keeping his voice low. “Every time you touch me I get a thrill I can’t even describe. But this right here, just being quiet with you...I don’t know, it’s special. How often do you even just stop and be quiet at all, Marinette?”

“Pretty much never,” she admitted, keeping her voice soft as well. “Except...except with you.” She said it like it had never occurred to her before. “Thanks for being my quiet place, Luka.” Luka smiled up at the sky.

“Can I take your hair ties out?” he asked after a moment. 

“Hmm? Oh...sure, I guess.” 

Luka carefully pulled the ribbons from her pigtails. Then he ran his fingers through her hair from root to tip. Marinette’s eyes closed and her head tipped back, her lips parted in a quiet gasp. Luka smiled. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” he murmured, running his hands through her hair again. 

“Mmm,” Marinette sighed, melting into him. He chuckled. 

“I’m glad you like it as much as I do.” He kissed her cheek, and then sighed. “I’m going to say something and I swear it’s a compliment, but I’m not sure it’s going to come out right,” he said, a little uncharacteristic shyness in his voice. 

“I’m listening.”

“You make it hard to live in the moment.” He could feel her surprise and she waited for him to explain. “I’m not really the type of person to overthink stuff, you know? Really I probably ought to think of the future more, but I feel like it’s important to appreciate where you are right now. But sometimes with you it’s not as easy as it used to be. I can’t help thinking about all the things I want to do with you someday.” 

“Like, what kinds of things?” Marinette asked dreamily, still leaning into his touch as his fingers continued to move through her hair. 

“Like...doing just what we’re doing now, only out on the open ocean, with all the lights off so we can see the stars. Oh, you’ve never seen the sky until you’ve seen it like that, Marinette. Things like, a spring picnic up in the Alps, where the mountains just surround you and it feels like if you just jumped up in the air you’d be flying. I want you to teach me something I’ve never done before. I want us to learn something new together, something neither of us have ever done before.” He paused. “I just...I want to share things with you and I want you to share things with me.” He cringed slightly, letting his hands slip out of her hair and circle her waist. “Am I getting too heavy?”

“No,” Marinette said shyly. “Or...maybe, but I...tonight I think I like it.”

Luka hesitated. “There’s...one thing I’d kind of like to do that’s a little more achievable in the here and now.”

“Yes?”

“I’d like you to meet my friends. There’s an open mic night next week that a bunch of us were going to go to. Maybe you could come?”

Marinette was silent and he could feel her tense slightly. “Hey,” he said, nudging her temple with his nose. “Don’t go spiraling without me. Talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“What if they don’t like me?”

Luka chuckled. “What if you don’t like them?” 

“Luka.”

“I’m serious,” he said, squeezing her lightly. “Maybe they won’t like you, maybe you won’t like them. That’s okay if it happens. You don’t have to be friends with everybody. Maybe you’ll like some of them and not others. Whatever happens, it won’t change anything between us. Worst case scenario, I see them at school and when we make plans to hang out, and I keep you all to myself when we’re together, just like we’ve been doing. It’s not some kind of test you have to pass. I don’t think you have to worry too hard about it, though, I think my friends are pretty cool people and they’ll see that you’re amazing. You seem to have a pretty high tolerance for weird, so I think you’ll be able to put up with them.” 

Marinette giggled and relaxed into him. “How are you so perfect?” 

A trickle of cold went down Luka’s spine. “I’m not, Marinette,” he said softly. “If you think I am, then you need to look closer, babe.”

“I know you’re not,” Marinette said seriously. She sat forward and tried to twist so she could see him. Luka pulled her up onto his lap and she leaned on his chest, their eyes nearly level. “You’re self-conscious. You’re not always proactive enough. You don’t always say what you’re thinking because you’re afraid it won’t come out right. You worry about others to the point where you neglect yourself or overwhelm them, you take too much on yourself, and you tend to hide behind your guitar. But those are all just the other side of all the things I love about you. You’re humble, laid back, considerate, empathetic, protective, responsible, and a true artist.”

Luka couldn’t breathe as he stared at her. “Are you okay?” she asked, and he nodded numbly. He reached up to hook his hand behind her neck and pulled her gently to his mouth. She kissed him, and then pulled back to look at him again. “I love you,” she told him, soft but sure. His chest tightened and his breath came short and quick. Luka pulled her back to his trembling lips and kissed her fiercely, aware of tears gathering behind his tightly closed eyelids. He focused on kissing her senseless so she wouldn’t notice when they slipped free. Even so he felt her hands on his face, thumbs wiping them away. “I’m sorry,” she spoke against his lips. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

“No,” he said between kisses. “No, no, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love you so much.” He sighed, wiping the tears away himself. “Damn, sorry.” 

Marinette bit her lip, then took a shaky breath and sang softly, “Je pense à toi, mon amour, mon bien aimé, ne m'abandonne pas, mon amour, mon chéri.” Luka’s smile threatened to split his face. He already knew she had a sweet voice, but she was shy about singing around him. It was always a treat for him when she loosened up enough to let him hear her.

“Keep going,” he murmured. Marinette sang the line again, and her voice wavered slightly when he joined in with the harmony he hadn’t been able to sing alone, but she held true to her note. “Je pense à toi, mon amour, ma bien aimée, ne m'abandonne pas, mon amour, ma chérie.”

She paused, and he sang the next line for her. Marinette nodded and they sang it together, and this time she held the melody steady as he sang the harmony. “Quand je suis dans ma lit, je ne rêve qu’à toi, et quand je me réveille, je ne pense qu’à toi…” 

Slowly, they sang through the whole song, Luka giving her the line first and then the two of them together .

Luka nudged her nose with his. “Not bad. I think we sound pretty good together.”

Marinette smiled, laying her head down on his shoulder and pressing her face into his neck. “Yeah. I think we do too.”

[peachlolitasevillacourtstuff]

(pmatga) Swap au chapter 1

Today was a beautiful day in Pacopolis, Pac and his friends were that same day taking the morning classes, Pac was as attentive as possible, while Spiral and Cylindra talked in a low voice about a few things.

"What are they two talking about?"

he asked himself whispering

* Ring! Ring! *

"Well, students, class is over. Homework tomorrow will bring a synthesis of philosophy"

Miss Globular dictated, while the other students went to the cafeteria for lunch, since the morning Pac noticed the behavior of Cyli and Spiral, there will be something else between the two of them that she did not notice.

"spiral, cyli have acted like this since this morning something happened?"

I ask curious

"It is nothing pacster, we just said some things to do when we graduate"

Spiral replied kindly

"oh, what a past jeje"

pac river

Suddenly a call through Pac's communicator was heard, it was the president, it seemed that there was an emergency, Pac answered hurriedly, while he ate a few people from the buffet.

"What's going on, Mr. President?"

the three approached the call

"Pac, spiral and cylindra, I need your help, an old friend from abroad will come to visit Pacopolis"

The president said spheros worried.

"We will be on our way, who is your old friend?"

said pac attentive to the mission

"in fact he is not that old, he is the new president of a country in pac-europe, and at the same time he is a veteran of the war, he will come to visit me and I need to be escorted"

he said adding nervously.

"Don't worry, Mr. President, we will go immediately"

Pac said confidently as the team headed for the mission, in the round house their old friend Mr. Sir.c was waiting for them, he had the vehicle and weapons ready for the escort.

"Sir.c are we here for the escort, where is the foreign president?"

"It is on the border of Pacopolis, do not worry, however the President fears that the visit of our guest will not be unpleasant, due to the amount of ghosts here"

"Don't worry Sir.c, the president is counting on us"

He said presumably, while the three of them got into the vehicle with their weapons, and handled it very carefully towards the Pacopolis border, while deep in the netherworld was the evil lord betrayus watching through his slimy cameras, like the team de pac was going to escort that foreign president.

"Well, well, surely he must be someone important, and I will bring gifts to my stupid older brother!"

he said annoyed

"Hee, don't worry my lord, I already sent some ghosts to assault that mysterious friend of your brother, and we will see that they are dealing with both of them"

Dr.Buttocks said with a laugh.

After laughing a lot of ghosts went straight to the public highway in Pacopolis, but Pac and his team had already arrived earlier, what appeared to be the foreign president was a seat behind his driver, Pac, Cyli and Spiral. They were off to the side, they saw that the president showed no signs of expression, something very strange.

"How strange is the friend of the President, why does his face look like this?"

asked spiral

"I admit that it is a little scary, but what does it matter is from the pac-Europe, it may be from their country, or from the war"

"GHOSTS"

Scream pac pointing in front

"Oh god, get ready cyli"

added spiral

"all to their positions"

Pacter said eating a berry of fire, and begins to burn and eat the ghosts, spiral and cylindra used with all potential weapons absorbing ghosts, which none realized that the ghosts were already raising the limo in which he was transporting the foreign president .

"SHIT! WE FORGET THE PRESIDENT!"

I scream pac while trying to devour the ghosts without hurting the limo with the president inside, but fortunately the blow was very low, and there was not so much damage and pac was able to eat the invading ghosts, while vomiting his eyes.

"WITHDRAWAL"

One of the talking eyes said.

"Uff .. uff! How lucky we were!"

cyli sighed heavily

"We are very sorry for the attack Mr. President, we have had these attacks very often, do not bother with ours"

Pac said apologetically, but the president of that country in Pac-Europe showed no reaction, only added with his head, and nothing else.

"terrifying skies"

He said stunned by the behavior of this.

After that assault they reached the round house, there was a lot of security and the president spheros was very nervous about the visit, knowing that there are many ghost attacks by his malevolo brother, and if it were not the worst a small horde attacked him.

"Damn, and if he will have resentment after this! And if he didn't want to make alliances with the country anymore"

President spheros said nervously

"Calm down stratos, it was also a veteran, you and I were in that war, and I rescued Pac from that little horde"

Sir.c said calming stratos.

Suddenly Pac and his team arrive with the limo following their steps, the President wiped the sweat from his nerves, and took a deep breath of relief.

"Done Mr. President! Your friend is fine"

Heroically added pac

"Thank you boy, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to talk about the attack"

He said as he approached the president whom he was visiting with open arms, but nevertheless when leaving his limo, the president lowered his arms when he saw him as if something disappointed him.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. President?"

Asked cyli

"he is not the president of the foreigner .."

"THAN"

They screamed pac, cyli, spiral and Sir.c from the impact

That man they were escorting was not the president they thought he was, he himself began to walk slowly to the back door of the limo, and he took out a gift with the golden wrapper, and a crimson red bow, and the man stood up. gave it to the president sphero.

"This gift is?.."

I ask uncomfortable

"Jawohl"

he said in his native language.

"oh thanks tell your president my most sincere thanks, and please let me know before acting"

I affirm stratos

the man said nothing and left the place with nothing else, got into the limo and left the round house.

Heavens, who would think that president would be more astute than we thought?

Sir.c said rubbing his nose.

"Well, you must have known about the ghostly attacks, but it's very nice of you to give us this gift"

"what is mr president open it"

Said pac excited

"very well but in my office."

Changing the scenery, the president put the gift on his desk, and at the same time without realizing his presence, he was spying on the betrayus slugs.

"So much for that gift!"

Annoyed Lord Betrayus said

"I wonder what gift it will be?"

his butler said curious

"if it will be to steal it from me"

Presumably added betrayus

in the office president sphero and next to pac's team carefully opened the surprise that the box would have, stratos was concerned, he had hardly had a gift from a stranger, or a new acquaintance, until suddenly when he opened and saw At the bottom of that box he found something that he did not imagine in his life.

"What is stratos?"

Sir.c asked worried

"This is ... a mirror from the Pac-medieval era?"

said president holding the object

"just that boring"

said spiral in opinion

"well they are Europeans that we expected"

"look at a note"

said pac pointing in the mirror "

"really!?"

I affirm as I grab the note.

Letter.

Dear old friend from Pacopolis, I regret not formally introducing myself as this important day should have been, my sincere apologies indeed. This Pac-medieval era mirror is worth a fortune, we found it in the country's already abandoned palace, according to ancient legends about that castle all kinds of ancient and sinister nicromances were practiced, but that is a simple myth of the country, my scientists They studied it and it seems to be to perfection, it does not thank me, it is a pleasure to compensate another veteran.

"wow how nice"

said the president

"SO MUCH FOR THAT SHIT!"

Lord Betrayus said in complaint

"good is from pac-europe we should not be surprised"

added buttler

"In what matters now, we better see something else, tomorrow we will make another attack"

"Thanks for helping guys, I am grateful to you, I am still in debt"

the president said in appreciation

"there is no president we like to help"

Pac replied with a thumb up.

Later that same night

"spiral you want to play a video game"

"no pac, cyli has plans with me do not worry"

he said smiling carefree

"You two have been acting very strange, what's wrong?"

"nothing"

"Tell me I'm not stupid, friends are not lied to .."

he said with a frown

"Okay, cyli and I are dating"

"THAN"

"If our relationship is taking a few steps, and we did not tell you so you do not feel uncomfortable"

"spiral does not matter, they are my friends and I will continue to love them"

Added calmly pac

"well, I'm leaving"

he leaves the room

On the other hand, in the President's room, he was already about to sleep, he saw his reflection in the mirror with much indifference.

"there is this mirror is very curious, it must certainly be worth a fortune to the country, it would be good to live it in the museum"

said the president, presuming a bit of his figure, when president spheros and all the others from pacopolis fell asleep, they were normal, and feeling safe, there was nothing specific about what

[wanna-do-bad-things]

Edge.

Summary: You’ve teased Noah while he was away and he’s gonna make sure you learn your lesson. Type: Smut. Detailed smut.  Word count: 4551. This is SO much longer than I thought it would be.  Warnings: Public foreplay, delayed orgasm (edging), oral sex (male), dirty talk, strong language, hints at daddy!kink, vaginal sex.  A/N: So I’m pretty new here to this “fandom” and this is the first thing that I’ve written for him. If you read this, please give it a like/reblog and my ask is open if you’d like to drop me a message :) As it’s my first one shot, I don’t have a tag list but if you’d like to be included in one please let me know.  Sorry for any mistakes in this. 

_________

Noah was unlike anyone else you’d dated before. He had an air of innocence, the type that fooled your parents into thinking he was a good boy. The type to only want to hold your hand and give you long, lingering kisses as he brought you home on time. It wasn’t a lie, he was a good boy but you loved it when he was bad. He could change that image within seconds. He’d swap his boyish charm to filth at the drop of a hat. He could kiss you, leave your legs weak and trembling, he could tell you how beautiful you looked and would wait for the smile to appear on your face before telling you “how much more beautiful you’d look with my cock in your throat.”

He loved to whisper exactly what he wanted to do to you while out in public just to see you become hot and flustered. He loved to tell you how hard you make him when he’s away filming. The two of you weren’t against pleasuring yourselves on video call while he was away. You loved making him moan as he watched as your fingers move in and out of you, the way he’d bite his lip as he tried not to be too vocal as he took his hard cock in his hand and wanked, that he could alert those in the rooms on either side of his.

You loved his filthy mouth. Especially when he was deep inside of you, fucking you into oblivion. It was the hottest thing you’d ever heard. And tonight was no exception. He’d come home after several weeks of filming and declared he was hungry and wanted to take you out. He’d been excited, clutching your hand as he pulled you towards the subway. His hands were on you the whole time; either on your waist, in your hair, cupping your jaw or on your ass. He didn’t mind PDA but fully understands time and place is essential. As the carriages fill and empty, he uses his hands accordingly. Little did you know, this would be the start of the teasing that he had in mind.

“Fuck I’ve missed you baby,” he says several minutes after your main course is placed in front of you both. “I’ve missed you too.” He licks his lips, his eyes glancing around to see if anyone is looking. He pushes his plate closer to yours and moves his cutlery before shuffling his seat closer. “Noah, no.” You know where this is going and despite your words saying no, your core clenches and you feel wetness begin to soak your panties. 

“No? You don’t want my fingers inside that tight pussy of yours?” He whispers, his lips brushing yours and his husky tone driving you crazy. To anyone watching, they’d see a loved-up couple stealing a few kisses between eating their meal. They can’t see the way his hand inches up your thigh or hear the way your breathing catches in your throat. “Because I’ve fucking thought about it every day that I’ve been away.” You regret wearing a skirt, something that can be easily lifted by him and used against you. You also hate yourself for shifting in your seat and opening your legs further so he has full access to your soaking entrance. “Look at you. You’re saying no but I can feel the heat from between your thighs from where my fingers are. Tell me to stop,” he says suddenly, his eyes meeting yours. As dirty as he was, it brought a smile to your lips that he was still asking permission. You shake your head, you didn’t want him to stop. You wanted his fingers knuckle deep and giving you pleasure. Not that you voice this. “In case haven’t told you yet, you look beautiful tonight baby girl,” he smiles at you sweetly despite the actions of his hand.

They continue to inch towards the exact spot where you’re dangerously close to begging him to be. You know he loves to hear you beg, it was something that turned him on. He loved to know he was driving you crazy and loved to hear just how aroused and needy he was making you. “I bet you’re so wet for me already aren’t you and I haven’t even touched you. Just wait until I’m tongue deep and you’re squirting for me.”

Your hand touches his knee and you begin the same journey upwards. “Who says you can touch?” He asks with a raised eyebrow as your fingers dance over his thick cock that’s straining against his jeans. He smirks when he feels your thighs tense as you feel how hard he is for you already. “You like that? Knowing how much I want you?” He asks as his fingers stroke over the edging of your panties. The gentle, ever so light touch sends ripples of need throughout you. He rub over your clothed clit. Your hips buck instantly, needing to feel more of him.

The hand gripping your fork tightens and you swallow hard, snapping your head to face him. “Noah.” You mutter as a warning though you’re not sure if its for him to continue without teasing or to stop because you’ll not make it very long if he continues and you’d really rather not ruin a restaurant chair with your orgasm. “Don’t do this. Not here” You try to distract yourself by stabbing at your food and shoving it into your mouth as quickly as possible.

You curse yourself for telling him one night that you’d always wanted to tease or be teased whilst out having dinner. Where neither of you could stop the other and you’d have to accept whatever it was that they wanted to do. Within reason. It was much easier for him to play and have fun, his hand gestures much more subtle than the way your hand would be as it stroked his impressive sized cock. “I’m not doing anything.” He plays it innocent. “Looks like you’re hungry.” Noah comments as his fingers brush over your clit again. You let the breath out through your nose and you concentrate on chewing the best you can. You have to get through this meal. You’ve just got to. Your eyes dart around the room, checking that no one has noticed what’s happening. You know they can’t see anything, the tablecloth drapes over the edge and covers your lap. There’s no way anyone can see your skirt pushed up to your hips and two of his fingers rubbing over your swollen nub and dragging them down your slit. He probes your entrance through your panties and the low throaty groan he voices makes you throb. “God you’re so wet.”

You grind yourself into his fingers, needing more pressure than he’s currently giving you. His underwear covered fingers enter you slightly, teasing you, wanting to see how far you’ll let him go. In retaliation, palm him through his jeans, running your finger and thumb over the swollen head of his cock, smiling to yourself when you hear his moan. “What’s wrong baby? Wish it was my tongue instead of my fingers?” You ask him. “What’s wrong princess?” he says in the same tone as you, “want my dick where my fingers are?” he gives you a hard stare, the two fingers he’s been teasing you with pause but you feel the last two pull the side of your underwear aside and only then does he move the two partially inserted ones. With your pussy full exposed to anyone who may drop something to the floor and look under the tablecloth, Noah brushes two same two fingers over your wet folds.

He licks his lips and hisses at just how wet you are. “Well baby, looks like you’re dripping for me.” His wet fingers circle your sensitive nub, coating it in your juices until they find the spot that has your legs shaking. He pauses there, keeping at exactly the right pace that builds your climax as he leisurely begins to fork his own food and takes a mouthful. He raises his eyebrow as he looks at you, daring you to make a noise. When you don’t, he presses a little harder, smiling when you whimper slightly. Pulling your hand away from his crotch, you reach for your wine glass and take a lengthy gulp of it.

He grins to himself as he feels your legs tremble against his and hears the way your breath quickens and deepens. The knot in your stomach tightens, your toes curl in your shoes and your legs begin to shake as your orgasm almost reaches it’s peak when he pulls his fingers from you. He waits as you seethe at him. “What the fuck was that?” You ask. “I don’t know what you mean.” He says as he pushes the food around on his plate. Despite him having much less time to eat than you have, he’s almost cleared his. He takes another mouthful and cheerfully eats it as his fingers drag down your core and dip inside just enough for you to feel it, just enough for your walls to close around his digits, wanting them inside you for some sort of relief.

“Look at you baby, you’re such a mess.” “There’s teasing,” you hiss at him, “and there’s being a jackass.” “Well, baby.” He says, his fingers plunging into you as deeply as they can go. They slide into you effortlessly and you’re not oblivious to the soft wet sound of his knuckles hitting your skin as they become coating in your juices as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. “You shouldn’t have been naughty and played while I was away. I specifically told you not to and I said you’d be rewarded if you were a good girl.”

Noah slows his fingers, gently slipping them in and out of you, occasionally scissoring them out to stretch you out before pushing his fingers back inside you; curling them upwards and brushing them against your g-spot. Not fully, just enough for you to feel it. It seemed like such a good idea, sending him nudes, sending him pictures of your hand between your thighs and videos of you in the dark, whimpering his name, telling him how good you felt. How wet you were and how much you wanted to choke on his dick. He didn’t need to see your face or see between your legs to know you were playing, that you were getting yourself off. He could hear it in your voice. Noah knew it wasn’t put on or faked. He knew you were coming, your orgasm spurting through your fingers as he called his name out. And to deprive him of that sight? Well, it was worth a punishment for, or so you thought at the time. Now he was here, teasing, edging you and taking his time with such glee, you began to doubt if it really was worth it after all.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as his thumb begins to circle your clit in time with his fingers. It’s a disgustingly pleasurable mix and you feel your orgasm taking shape once more. They move together with such precision that you hate him for knowing your body so well. He stops again as you near your release. “I’m so sorry. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to make it up to you? Is that what this is?” “Eat up.” He answers, fully removing his hand and pulling your underwear back into place. He spoons the last forkful into his mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing before lifting the two fingers to his mouth and sucks on them, licking your wetness from them.

You glare at him as you stab at your food. “You’re leaving me like this? All to make a fucking point.” You stab at your food again angrily. The pleasure he’d given you now merely a memory, though your core still pulses. Unbel-fucking-ievable. “if you think I’m giving you anything later then you’re mistaken.” He says nothing, just smirks at you before downing the rest of his own drink. You finish the rest of your food, drink the rest of your wine and adjust your skirt before standing up.

Smoothing it down over your thighs, you get to your feet and stalk towards the entrance. “Dinner is on you by the way,” you call out to him over your shoulder before pushing open the doors and heading onto the street but not before you hear his chuckling behind you.

He catches up to you within minutes, his fingers lacing with yours. You want to pull your hand away but in all honesty, you’ve missed feeling his hand in yours, even if it’s just loosely. “Are you still mad?” He asks you after a few minutes. “No.” You are. “So you’ll not want me to fuck you then.” “You’ll probably only put the tip in and stop then too.” You comment bitterly causing him to laugh.

Things didn’t get easier as you’d travelled home. There were less people in the carriages than earlier, but you could feel his stare. His hand skims over the skin between your knee and the hem of your skirt, though it never ventures higher, it keeps you on edge and thinking of what he’d done over dinner. No sooner had the key turned in the door to your apartment, he’s pushing you through it. He slams the door closed and you against the wall, his body pinning yours as his lips meet your neck. You barely have time to gasp when he sucks on your pulse point, his hands slowly run down over your ribs and rests on your hips, stopping you from bucking them towards him. He nibbles your skin, his teeth graze you, his tongue soothes it before he kisses lower. “Noah.” You moan softly. He pulls away from you briefly before claiming your mouth with his. He kisses you with unexpected softness. His lips moving against yours, with such need that you almost buckle beneath him. When you moan again, he slips his tongue between your open lips and deepens the kiss.

You reach up, grip his hair and hold him closely to you. You can’t move your body away from the wall but it doesn’t stop you from circling your hips against him or feel his hardening cock against your hip as you do so. “Noah please.” You whine. “Tell me what you want.” He says, nipping at your jaw. “I need you. Fuck I need you inside me and I need you to make me cum.” “Is that all?” He asks, his mouth dipping lower. “Strip. But leave this.” He adds, motioning to your pleated mini skirt.

You make quick work of your clothes. Almost tearing them from your body in attempt to please your boyfriend. You stand before him in only the skirt, your thighs now coated with your wetness, more so as his eyes skim over you. There was something sexy about the way Noah always looked at you. The two of you were by no means virgins before getting together, but when he casts his eyes over you? It’s like no one else existed. He hungrily stares at you, his eyes dropping to your breasts. You hated them and were always insecure but he wastes no time by sucking a nipple between his lips and tongues it into a hard peak.

You moan, your hands gripping his hair as one of his hands tweaks at the other. He playfully bites at you, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before crossing over to the other. He repeats it, your back arching to his mouth, needing to finally feel him where you’ve been wanting him. He kisses his way between your breasts, over your stomach as both of his hands run up your legs to your inner thighs. You shiver uncontrollably as his hands and mouth move closer and closer to your pussy and he kneels before you.

His hands push your skirt up, just like in the restaurant only this time, you’re fully exposed to him. He smirks to himself, pressing his lips to your inner thigh and nibbles his way up to your folds before starting again on the other thigh. When his mouth reaches your core again, he swipes his tongue over your clit, your head falls back and you moan. He flicks his tongue down and licks at the wetness there oh so briefly before sitting back on his heels. “Changed my mind. I’ll savour it another day.” He doesn’t give you a moment to think, his arms are around your waist, pulling you to the floor. He straddles your chest as he unbuckles his belt with one hand and unbuttons and unzips his jeans with the other.

“You said you wanna make it up to me?” You didn’t think his voice could drop deeper or huskier but it has. His eyes darken as he pushes his jeans down slightly and reaches into his boxers to pull his cock from them. “Then open your mouth baby girl and take this.” His hand works the head of his cock. You watch as his fist circles it, pumping it in ways you wish your hands would. He leans forward, placing a hand above your head on the floor and angles the tip of his thick dick to your lips. Your tongue flicks over the tip, laps over the slit and licks away at the small beads of pre-cum there.

Your eyes meet his as you sink your lips over the head and take the first two inches with ease. “Fuck, ” Noah groans as you continue to take him into your mouth, your eyes closing and your gag reflex kicking in as he nudges the back of your throat. “That’s it baby, just like that.” His hips move, slipping his erection in and out of your mouth. You know he’s holding back, that he really wants to fuck your mouth the way he would bury himself inside of your core but the sight of him straddling you, watching his cock sink in and out of your lips is enough.

Noah’s breathing deepens, his stare firmly on your lips as he watches himself move within you. Noah loved to watch himself penetrate you, though when he’s inside of your core he prefers to watch your face. Knowing he was getting off on the sight of you as well as the feel of you is something that never failed to turn you on too. He pushes his luck, his hips inching forward more until he’s fully inside your mouth and throat. Your eyes stream, your throat tries to close up, trying to push his thickness from it. When he feels you choke around him he pulls out, spit dangling from the tip to your lips.

You gulp in air, thankful for the ability to breathe again so easily. Tears are still streaming down your cheeks as you look up at him. His hand closes over his length, stroking himself; your spit lubricating it for his large hand as it glides up and down his shaft before curving over the head and back down again. You can’t stop staring and you feel your clit throb. “See, what I’m tryin’ to figure out, is how to fuck you.” The raspy voice that drives you crazy at the best of times, let alone while you watch his hand work on his dick, has goosebumps erupting over you as you wonder exactly what he has in mind. “I’d have thought you’d figure out how to have sex by now. Poor boy.” You tease. He narrows his eyes at you. “Oh baby,” he leans forward, his lips brushing your ear, “and to think I was considering taking it easy on you.”

Noah moves quickly, his hand leaves his cock and he pushes to his feet. He pauses to pull his boxers back up, covering his length before he grasps your wrist and pulls you to your feet too and leads you through your home to the bedroom. He shoves your shoulder, knocking you backwards onto the bed and covers your body with his. His lips are on yours, kissing you hard and passionately. You lock your feet around his waist and cross them over at the ankles at his lower back. You fist his hair, ensuring he stays in place to kiss you harder.

You love kissing him. Love how he pours everything he’s feeling whether it’s happy, pissed off or sad, everything goes into it. There were times where he’d given you a half assed kiss but once you’d rang your tongue over his bottom lip and nibbled on it, he’d moaned and given you so much more and everything you’d wanted. Noah had the ability to leak you completely weak from his kisses alone but team it with what he’s doing now? Grinding his hardened dick between your open legs, rubbing against your clit with his covered length, it sends you into a frenzy. “Noah please, stop playing and just fuck me.” He looks down at you and smiles. “I love it when you come undone. But since you asked so nicely by saying please…” he leans back on his heels and runs his hands down your sides. “Turn over, on your knees.”

You comply, getting to your knees and dropping your face to the mattress. He runs his hands over your exposed back, following your spine until it reaches the waistband of your skirt. He flips the skirt up, it pans out over your back rather than covering your ass. You open your legs wider and he groans. “Fuck you have such a beautiful pussy, I know I said I wouldn’t but when it’s there all tempting and shit,” you feel him move behind you, his palms now pressing against the backs of your thighs as you wait for him to do something. He kisses around his hand and nibbles his way from your thighs to your wet folds.

You groan, push your ass back and force your pussy against his mouth needing to feel him. His tongue pushes through your lips and laps at the wetness there again. You shudder against him as his tongue drives inside of you, darting in and out earning him a low moan from you as you bury your face into the sheets. You feel him move, a hand leaves your thigh and grabs your hair, jerking your head back. “When I’m eating you out I want to hear you. You don’t deserve my mouth after all,” his body moves, you can’t work out what he’s doing until you feel his tip pushing through your folds. “Just know, we could have had nice sex.” He says, pushing into you, stretching your walls around him to their fullest as you take his thick cock within you. “But no, you had to tease,” he says, pausing for you to get used to being filled by him. When you circle your pussy against him and push back to let him know he can begin to move, he pulls out half way and slams back into you, “you had to drive me crazy and make me so hard.” He thrusts into you again and again as he says each word. “You made me want you and that whore mouth of yours.”

You want to drop your head again, but his hand continues to fist your hair, holding your head up and forcing each and every noise that escapes your lips to fill the room and cause his cock to throb within you. He replaces his hand, moving it from your leg to your waist to get a better grip, enabling him to enter you harder and deeper each time. “You like that babygirl? When I fuck you like this?” You want to reply “yes daddy,” after he too had confessed the idea of you calling him so turned him on. If he was denying you any sort of pleasure then you’d deny him satisfaction in this way too. “Yes,” you pant, “yes I love it when you fuck me like this.” you meet his thrusts halfway, pushing yourself back as he drives his hips forward, pounding into you with such force you think your knees may give way.

You cry out his name repeatedly while his hips slam home. No-one made you feel as desired as Noah had. Even now as he fucks his frustrations out on you, you know it’s because you made him feel this way by sending him those nudes, those videos of you touching yourself and whimpering his name. “Do you wanna cum for me?” He all but whispers. “Uh huh,” is all you can manage as you bite down hard on your lip. His hand leaves your hair, and slips down your back, over your hip and between your legs. His fingertips brush over your swollen nub and causes your legs to quiver. The hand that holds onto your waist inches forward, spreading out over your stomach and holding you still, pulling you back onto his cock as he drills into you. His fingers circle in the same pace as he enters you.

Your mouth drops open, your eyes begin to blur and any dwindling flickers of heat that were before burst throughout your body, setting every nerve alight. The sensation of his cock filling you completely, how he continues to talk to you, telling your how fucking amazing you feel around his dick, how you’re so sexy and that he loves you, you’re on the brink of your orgasm. “Don’t you dare cum until I tell you to.” He demands. He bucks his hips, the sound of your skin slapping together hits your ears as you try to hold it back, not wanting to break another of his rules. You want to finish, you need to finish and he can so very easily take that away from you within seconds. “Are you ready? You gonna cum for me right…” you know he’s close, his pace is altering and he’s hitting you deeper than before, “now.” He says, his fingers slapping against your clit and your climax hits. Your vision distorts, no noise leaves your mouth but you feel your orgasm drip from you as you pulse and clench around him. Expletives fall from Noah’s tongue and he follows in four deep, hard thrusts, spilling everything that he can give you inside of you. You slump forward, pulling your body away from him and feel him pull out as a result. “Tell me something,” he says, his breathing uneven, “have you learnt your lesson?” You turn your head to look at him. He’s simply beautiful post-sex. “If I’m going to pull a stunt like that again make sure it’s a long time before you come home so you forget?” You grin at him and flutter your lashes. “Wrong answer. Damn woman, what am I going to do with you?” “Feed me, love me and fuck me.” “You’re perfect. I love you.” “I love you too.” He pulls his boxers up, leans forward and presses his lips to yours.

[ride-a-dolan]

“Edge” feat. Grayson Dolan

Summary: You’ve teased Grayson while he was away and he’s gonna make sure you learn your lesson.

Type: Smut. Detailed smut. 

Warnings: Public foreplay, delayed orgasm (edging), oral sex (male), dirty little talk, strong language, hints at daddy!kink, smut. 

A/N: I told you, I’m back. Go big or go home! 😜

Sorry for any mistakes in this.

——

Grayson was unlike anyone else you’d dated before.

He had an air of innocence, the type that fooled your parents into thinking he was a good boy. The type to only want to hold your hand and give you long, lingering kisses as he brought you home on time. It wasn’t a lie, he was a good boy but you loved it when he was bad. He could change that image within seconds. He’d swap his boyish charm to filth at the drop of a hat. He could kiss you, leave your legs weak and trembling, he could tell you how beautiful you looked and would wait for the smile to appear on your face before telling you “how much more beautiful you’d look with my cock in your throat.”

You loved his filthy mouth. Especially when he was deep inside of you, fucking you into oblivion. It was the hottest thing you’d ever heard. And tonight was no exception. He’d come home after several weeks of filming for MTV and declared he was hungry and wanted to take you out. He’d been excited, clutching your hand as he pulled you towards the Uber. His hands were on you the whole time; either on your waist, in your hair, cupping your jaw or on your ass. He didn’t mind PDA but fully understands time and place is essential. Little did you know, this would be the start of the teasing that he had in mind.

“Fuck I’ve missed you baby,” he says several minutes after you arrived to the restaurant and sat at your table that had your main course is placed in front of you both within seconds.

“I’ve missed you too.” He licks his lips, his eyes glancing around to see if anyone is looking. He pushes his plate closer to yours and moves his cutlery before shuffling his seat closer. “Gray, no.” You know where this is going and despite your words saying no, your core clenches and you feel wetness begin to soak your panties. 

“No? You don’t want my fingers inside that tight pussy of yours?” He whispers, his lips brushing yours and his husky tone driving you crazy. To anyone watching, they’d see a loved-up couple stealing a few kisses between eating their meal. They can’t see the way his hand inches up your thigh or hear the way your breathing catches in your throat. “Because I’ve fucking thought about it every day that I’ve been away.” You regret wearing a skirt, something that can be easily lifted by him and used against you. You also hate yourself for shifting in your seat and opening your legs further so he has full access to your soaking entrance. “Look at you. You’re saying no but I can feel the heat from between your thighs from where my fingers are. Tell me to stop,” he says suddenly, his eyes meeting yours. As dirty as he was, it brought a smile to your lips that he was still asking permission. You shake your head, you didn’t want him to stop. You wanted his fingers knuckle deep and giving you pleasure. Not that you voice this. “In case haven’t told you yet, you look beautiful tonight baby girl,” he smiles at you sweetly despite the actions of his hand. They continue to inch towards the exact spot where you’re dangerously close to begging him to be. You know he loves to hear you beg, it was something that turned him on. He loved to know he was driving you crazy and loved to hear just how aroused and needy he was making you. “I bet you’re so wet for me already aren’t you and I haven’t even touched you. Just wait until I’m tongue deep and you’re squirting for me.” Your hand touches his knee and you begin the same journey upwards. “Who says you can touch?” He asks with a raised eyebrow as your fingers dance over his thick cock that’s straining against his jeans. He smirks when he feels your thighs tense as you feel how hard he is for you already. “You like that? Knowing how much I want you?” He asks as his fingers stroke over the edging of your panties. The gentle, ever so light touch sends ripples of need throughout you. He rub over your clothed clit. Your hips buck instantly, needing to feel more of him.

The hand gripping your fork tightens and you swallow hard, snapping your head to face him. “Grayson.” You mutter as a warning though you’re not sure if its for him to continue without teasing or to stop because you’ll not make it very long if he continues and you’d really rather not ruin a restaurant chair with your orgasm. “Don’t do this. Not here..” You try to distract yourself by stabbing at your food and shoving it into your mouth as quickly as possible.

You curse yourself for telling him one night that you’d always wanted to tease or be teased whilst out having dinner. Where neither of you could stop the other and you’d have to accept whatever it was that they wanted to do. Within reason. It was much easier for him to play and have fun, his hand gestures much more subtle than the way your hand would be as it stroked his impressive sized cock.

“I’m not doing anything.” He plays it innocent. “Looks like you’re hungry.” Grayson comments as his fingers brush over your clit again. You let the breath out through your nose and you concentrate on chewing the best you can. You have to get through this meal. You’ve just got to. Your eyes dart around the room, checking that no one has noticed what’s happening. You know they can’t see anything, the tablecloth drapes over the edge and covers your lap. There’s no way anyone can see your skirt pushed up to your hips and two of his fingers rubbing over your swollen nub and dragging them down your slit. He probes your entrance through your panties and the low throaty groan he voices makes you throb. “God you’re so wet.”

You grind yourself into his fingers, needing more pressure than he’s currently giving you. His underwear covered fingers enter you slightly, teasing you, wanting to see how far you’ll let him go. In retaliation, palm him through his jeans, running your finger and thumb over the swollen head of his cock, smiling to yourself when you hear his moan.

“What’s wrong baby? Wish it was my tongue instead of my fingers?” You ask him.

“What’s wrong princess?” he says in the same tone as you, “want my dick where my fingers are?” he gives you a hard stare, the two fingers he’s been teasing you with pause but you feel the last two pull the side of your underwear aside and only then does he move the two partially inserted ones. With your pussy full exposed to anyone who may drop something to the floor and look under the tablecloth, Gray brushes two same two fingers over your wet folds.

He licks his lips and hisses at just how wet you are. “Well baby, looks like you’re dripping for me.” His wet fingers circle your sensitive nub, coating it in your juices until they find the spot that has your legs shaking. He pauses there, keeping at exactly the right pace that builds your climax as he leisurely begins to fork his own food and takes a mouthful. He raises his eyebrow as he looks at you, daring you to make a noise. When you don’t, he presses a little harder, smiling when you whimper slightly. Pulling your hand away from his crotch, you reach for your wine glass and take a lengthy gulp of it.

He grins to himself as he feels your legs tremble against his and hears the way your breath quickens and deepens. The knot in your stomach tightens, your toes curl in your shoes and your legs begin to shake as your orgasm almost reaches it’s peak when he pulls his fingers from you. He waits as you seethe at him.

“What the fuck was that?” You ask.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He says as he pushes the food around on his plate. Despite him having much less time to eat than you have, he’s almost cleared his. He takes another mouthful and cheerfully eats it as his fingers drag down your core and dip inside just enough for you to feel it, just enough for your walls to close around his digits, wanting them inside you for some sort of relief.

“Look at you baby, you’re such a mess.”

“There’s teasing,” you hiss at him, “and there’s being a jackass.”

“Well, baby.” He says, his fingers plunging into you as deeply as they can go. They slide into you effortlessly and you’re not oblivious to the soft wet sound of his knuckles hitting your skin as they become coating in your juices as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. “You shouldn’t have been naughty and played while I was away. I specifically told you not to and I said you’d be rewarded if you were a good girl.”

Grayson slows his fingers, gently slipping them in and out of you, occasionally scissoring them out to stretch you out before pushing his fingers back inside you; curling them upwards and brushing them against your g-spot. Not fully, just enough for you to feel it.

It seemed like such a good idea, sending him nudes, sending him pictures of your hand between your thighs and videos of you in the dark, whimpering his name, telling him how good you felt. How wet you were and how much you wanted to choke on his dick. He didn’t need to see your face or see between your legs to know you were playing, that you were getting yourself off. He could hear it in your voice. Gray knew it wasn’t put on or faked. He knew you were coming, your orgasm spurting through your fingers as he called his name out. And to deprive him of that sight? Well, it was worth a punishment for, or so you thought at the time. Now he was here, teasing, edging you and taking his time with such glee, you began to doubt if it really was worth it after all.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as his thumb begins to circle your clit in time with his fingers. It’s a disgustingly pleasurable mix and you feel your orgasm taking shape once more. They move together with such precision that you hate him for knowing your body so well. He stops again as you near your release. “I’m so sorry. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to make it up to you? Is that what this is?”

“Eat up.” He answers, fully removing his hand and pulling your underwear back into place. He spoons the last forkful into his mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing before lifting the two fingers to his mouth and sucks on them, licking your wetness from them.

You glare at him as you stab at your food. “You’re leaving me like this? All to make a fucking point.” You stab at your food again angrily. The pleasure he’d given you now merely a memory, though your core still pulses. Unbel-fucking-ievable. “if you think I’m giving you anything later then you’re mistaken.” He says nothing, just smirks at you before downing the rest of his own drink. You finish the rest of your food, drink the rest of your wine and adjust your skirt before standing up.

Smoothing it down over your thighs, you get to your feet and stalk towards the entrance. “Dinner is on you by the way,” you call out to him over your shoulder before pushing open the doors and heading onto the street but not before you hear his chuckling behind you.

He catches up to you within minutes, his fingers lacing with yours. You want to pull your hand away but in all honesty, you’ve missed feeling his hand in yours, even if it’s just loosely.

“Are you still mad?” He asks you after a few minutes.

“No.” You are.

“So you’ll not want me to fuck you then.”

“You’ll probably only put the tip in and stop then too.” You comment bitterly causing him to laugh.

Things didn’t get easier as you’d travelled home. There was a tensioned silence in the Uber back to his place. His hand skims over the skin between your knee and the hem of your skirt, though it never ventures higher, it keeps you on edge and thinking of what he’d done over dinner.

No sooner had the key turned in the door to his apartment, he’s pushing you through it. He slams the door closed and you against the wall, his body pinning yours as his lips meet your neck. Thankfully, Ethan isn’t home.

You barely have time to gasp when he sucks on your pulse point, his hands slowly run down over your ribs and rests on your hips, stopping you from bucking them towards him. He nibbles your skin, his teeth graze you, his tongue soothes it before he kisses lower.

“Gray.” You moan softly. He pulls away from you briefly before claiming your mouth with his. He kisses you with unexpected softness. His lips moving against yours, with such need that you almost buckle beneath him. When you moan again, he slips his tongue between your open lips and deepens the kiss.

You reach up, grip his hair and hold him closely to you. You can’t move your body away from the wall but it doesn’t stop you from circling your hips against him or feel his hardening cock against your hip as you do so.

“Grayson please.” You whine.

“Tell me what you want.” He says, nipping at your jaw.

“I need you. Fuck I need you inside me and I need you to make me cum.”

“Is that all?” He asks, his mouth dipping lower. “Strip. But leave this.” He adds, motioning to your pleated mini skirt.

You make quick work of your clothes. Running into his bedroom, almost tearing them from your body in attempt to please your boyfriend. You stand before him when he arrives to the doorway, in only the skirt, your thighs now coated with your wetness, more so as his eyes skim over you. There was something sexy about the way Grayson always looked at you. The two of you were by no means virgins before getting together, but when he casts his eyes over you? It’s like no one else existed. He hungrily stares at you, his eyes dropping to your breasts. You hated them and were always insecure but he wastes no time by sucking a nipple between his lips and tongues it into a hard peak.

You moan, your hands gripping his hair as one of his hands tweaks at the other. He playfully bites at you, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before crossing over to the other. He repeats it, your back arching to his mouth, needing to finally feel him where you’ve been wanting him. He kisses his way between your breasts, over your stomach as both of his hands run up your legs to your inner thighs. You shiver uncontrollably as his hands and mouth move closer and closer to your pussy and he kneels before you.

His hands push your skirt up, just like in the restaurant only this time, you’re fully exposed to him. He smirks to himself, pressing his lips to your inner thigh and nibbles his way up to your folds before starting again on the other thigh. When his mouth reaches your core again, he swipes his tongue over your clit, your head falls back and you moan. He flicks his tongue down and licks at the wetness there oh so briefly before sitting back on his heels.

“Changed my mind. I’ll savour it another day.” He doesn’t give you a moment to think, his arms are around your waist, pulling you to the floor. He straddles your chest as he unbuckles his belt with one hand and unbuttons and unzips his jeans with the other.

“You said you wanna make it up to me?” You didn’t think his voice could drop deeper or huskier but it has. His eyes darken as he pushes his jeans down slightly and reaches into his boxers to pull his cock from them. “Then open your mouth baby girl and take this.” His hand works the head of his cock. You watch as his fist circles it, pumping it in ways you wish your hands would. He leans forward, placing a hand above your head on the floor and angles the tip of his thick dick to your lips. Your tongue flicks over the tip, laps over the slit and licks away at the small beads of pre-cum there.

Your eyes meet his as you sink your lips over the head and take the first two inches with ease.

“Fuck, ” Grayson groans as you continue to take him into your mouth, your eyes closing and your gag reflex kicking in as he nudges the back of your throat. “That’s it baby, just like that.” His hips move, slipping his erection in and out of your mouth. You know he’s holding back, that he really wants to fuck your mouth the way he would bury himself inside of your core but the sight of him straddling you, watching his cock sink in and out of your lips is enough.

Gray’s breathing deepens, his stare firmly on your lips as he watches himself move within you. He loved to watch himself penetrate you, though when he’s inside of your core he prefers to watch your face. Knowing he was getting off on the sight of you as well as the feel of you is something that never failed to turn you on too.

He pushes his luck, his hips inching forward more until he’s fully inside your mouth and throat. Your eyes stream, your throat tries to close up, trying to push his thickness from it. When he feels you choke around him he pulls out, spit dangling from the tip to your lips.

You gulp in air, thankful for the ability to breathe again so easily. Tears are still streaming down your cheeks as you look up at him. His hand closes over his length, stroking himself; your spit lubricating it for his large hand as it glides up and down his shaft before curving over the head and back down again. You can’t stop staring and you feel your clit throb. “See, what I’m tryin’ to figure out, is how to fuck you.” The raspy voice that drives you crazy at the best of times, let alone while you watch his hand work on his dick, has goosebumps erupting over you as you wonder exactly what he has in mind.

“I’d have thought you’d figure out how to have sex by now. Poor boy.” You tease. He narrows his eyes at you.

“Oh baby,” he leans forward, his lips brushing your ear, “and to think I was considering taking it easy on you.”

Grayson moves quickly, his hand leaves his cock and he pushes to his feet. He pauses to pull his boxers back up, covering his length before he grasps your wrist and pulls you to your feet too and leads you over to his bed. He shoves your shoulder, knocking you backwards onto the bed and covers your body with his. His lips are on yours, kissing you hard and passionately. You lock your feet around his waist and cross them over at the ankles at his lower back. You fist his hair, ensuring he stays in place to kiss you harder.

You love kissing him. Love how he pours everything he’s feeling whether it’s happy, pissed off or sad, everything goes into it. There were times where he’d given you a half assed kiss but once you’d rang your tongue over his bottom lip and nibbled on it, he’d moaned and given you so much more and everything you’d wanted. Grayson had the ability to make you completely weak from his kisses alone but team it with what he’s doing now? Grinding his hardened dick between your open legs, rubbing against your clit with his covered length, it sends you into a frenzy.

“Baby please, stop playing and just fuck me.”

He looks down at you and smiles. “I love it when you come undone. But since you asked so nicely by saying please…” he leans back on his heels and runs his hands down your sides. “Turn over, on your knees.”

You comply, getting to your knees and dropping your face to the mattress. He runs his hands over your exposed back, following your spine until it reaches the waistband of your skirt. He flips the skirt up, it pans out over your back rather than covering your ass. You open your legs wider and he groans.

“Fuck you have such a beautiful pussy, I know I said I wouldn’t but when it’s there all tempting and shit,” you feel him move behind you, his palms now pressing against the backs of your thighs as you wait for him to do something. He kisses around his hand and nibbles his way from your thighs to your wet folds.

You groan, push your ass back and force your pussy against his mouth needing to feel him. His tongue pushes through your lips and laps at the wetness there again. You shudder against him as his tongue drives inside of you, darting in and out earning him a low moan from you as you bury your face into the sheets. You feel him move, a hand leaves your thigh and grabs your hair, jerking your head back.

“When I’m eating you out I want to hear you. You don’t deserve my mouth after all,” his body moves, you can’t work out what he’s doing until you feel his tip pushing through your folds. “Just know, we could have had nice sex.” He says, pushing into you, stretching your walls around him to their fullest as you take his thick cock within you. “But no, you had to tease,” he says, pausing for you to get used to being filled by him. When you circle your pussy against him and push back to let him know he can begin to move, he pulls out half way and slams back into you, “you had to drive me crazy and make me so hard.” He thrusts into you again and again as he says each word. “You made me want you and that whore mouth of yours.”

You want to drop your head again, but his hand continues to fist your hair, holding your head up and forcing each and every noise that escapes your lips to fill the room and cause his cock to throb within you. He replaces his hand, moving it from your leg to your waist to get a better grip, enabling him to enter you harder and deeper each time. “You like that babygirl? When I fuck you like this?” You want to reply “yes daddy,” after he too had confessed the idea of you calling him so turned him on. If he was denying you any sort of pleasure then you’d deny him satisfaction in this way too.

“Yes,” you pant, “yes I love it when you fuck me like this.” you meet his thrusts halfway, pushing yourself back as he drives his hips forward, pounding into you with such force you think your knees may give way.

You cry out his name repeatedly while his hips slam home. No-one made you feel as desired as Grayson had. Even now as he fucks his frustrations out on you, you know it’s because you made him feel this way by sending him those nudes, those videos of you touching yourself and whimpering his name.

“Do you wanna cum for me?” He all but whispers.

“Uh huh,” is all you can manage as you bite down hard on your lip. His hand leaves your hair, and slips down your back, over your hip and between your legs. His fingertips brush over your swollen nub and causes your legs to quiver. The hand that holds onto your waist inches forward, spreading out over your stomach and holding you still, pulling you back onto his cock as he drills into you. His fingers circle in the same pace as he enters you.

Your mouth drops open, your eyes begin to blur and any dwindling flickers of heat that were before burst throughout your body, setting every nerve alight. The sensation of his cock filling you completely, how he continues to talk to you, telling your how fucking amazing you feel around his dick, how you’re so sexy and that he loves you, you’re on the brink of your orgasm. “Don’t you dare cum until I tell you to.” He demands. He bucks his hips, the sound of your skin slapping together hits your ears as you try to hold it back, not wanting to break another of his rules. You want to finish, you need to finish and he can so very easily take that away from you within seconds. “Are you ready? You gonna cum for me right…” you know he’s close, his pace is altering and he’s hitting you deeper than before, “now.” He says, his fingers slapping against your clit and your climax hits. Your vision distorts, no noise leaves your mouth but you feel your orgasm drip from you as you pulse and clench around him.

Expletives fall from Gray’s tongue and he follows in four deep, hard thrusts, spilling everything that he can give you inside of you. You slump forward, pulling your body away from him and feel him pull out as a result.

“Tell me something,” he says, his breathing uneven, “have you learnt your lesson?”

You turn your head to look at him. He’s simply beautiful post-sex. “If I’m going to pull a stunt like that again make sure it’s a long time before you come home so you forget?” You grin at him and flutter your lashes.

“Wrong answer. Damn woman, what am I going to do with you?”

“Feed me, love me and fuck me.”

“You’re perfect. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He pulls his boxers up, leans forward and presses his lips to yours.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

In which Sirius and james swap each others clothes and thats how everyone at hogwarts get to know about their relationship.

James's grin was mischievous as he pulled Sirius in by his tie, kissing him until they were both breathless. "Come to my dorm with me."

"The guys in your year-"

"Are in detention right now." James nudged their noses together, kissing him again. "Won't be back for at least another hour, but I'll seal and silence the curtains around my bed just in case." They hadn't gotten past blow jobs in abandoned classrooms, and while that was undoubtedly great, they both wanted a little more. Sirius was just a little more cautious about it than James in true Slytherin fashion-- pretty much the only thing Slytherin about him, in James's opinion.

Sirius still looked uncertain, but it faded away when one of James's hands went round his backside and squeezed, rocking their hips together. He let out a ragged breath, curling his fingers in James's hair and snogging him senseless. "Yeah, that sounds good."

They used the Invisibility Cloak to sneak Sirius in, and he only took it off once the dormitory door was firmly closed behind them. "This place is so garish," Sirius said, as he had every time he'd been here.

"You like garish."

"'Course I do, I'm dating you aren't I?" He gave James a shit eating grin that shifted to something more genuine when James stepped into his space.

"Hullo there," he said softly, tilting his head up slightly to look Sirius in the eye. Merlin, having eyes that grey and clear just wasn't fair, he was sure of it. For that matter, what the bloody hell had the gods been thinking when they created Sirius Black? Beings as perfect as he weren't meant to walk amongst mere mortals. James was sure that he looked like a love-besotted moron, but Sirius was looking at him the same way, so it's not like he was going to be teased for it.

"Hey," Sirius said, just as soft. It was like a moment in a romance novel-- that James had definitely not stolen from his mum's bookshelf last summer when he was pining after Sirius during the break-- where the universe aligned to bring them together, and they would spend the rest of their lives ridiculously happy together. James didn't want to miss that portion of the rest of his life, so he tried to hurry it along, accidentally rushing forward too quickly and clacking their teeth together.

He pulled back with an embarrassed, "Sorry," but Sirius only laughed, chasing his lips immediately after.

*

It was every bit as wonderful-- and embarrassing, but he wasn't going to think about that part too much-- as James had imagined it would be. Sirius hadn't really meant to stay the whole night in James's bed, but after they shagged he'd been too tired to move, and then he'd been so warm and comfy that he drifted off to sleep before he could remember all the reasons he should go to his own dorm.

Sirius woke slowly, so comfortable that he didn't want to get up for the next ten hours. He stretched, fingers flexing against James's bare shoulder. James started to stir, and he wondered if they had enough time before breakfast for a quickie.

"Morning," James said, voice rough from sleep. He yawned so wide it stretched his skin tight around his mouth. "Good night?"

"Like you don't know." Sirius leaned in to kiss him-- close mouthed though since his morning breath was disgusting.

James hummed. "Think we have time for a lie-in?"

"I dunno may-" Sirius waved his wand to check the time, then cut off. "Shit!" He bolted up, dislodging James.

James's eyes went wide when he saw the time. "Shit," he repeated. They wouldn't be late to their first class-- History of Magic, NEWT level, it was practically torture in lecture form-- but if they wanted anything to eat they'd have to run since Binns's room was on the opposite side of the castle from the Great Hall. The kitchen was closer, but not by much so they still needed to hurry.

They got dressed in a flurry of limbs and throwing blankets, pillows, and clothes around, working on tucking their shirts in as they stumbled out of the empty common room through the portrait hall. "Not saying I regret anything," James said, "but I'm as pleasant as a blast ended skrewt if I miss breakfast."

Sirius snorted. "You don't need to tell me mate. Why do you think I always have a chocolate frog in my bag?"

"That's why?" James asked, surprised. "I thought you liked chocolate frogs and that's why you always have them."

"Nope, just for you. I mean, they're alright, but they're no Honeydukes original."

It wasn't all that strange for them to show up to class together, so they didn't think anything about it. They shoved food in their mouths, thanked the house elves, grabbed some more food for the walk, and took off. They were on time, so neither of them knew why everyone was staring.

The only thing Binns noticed was when people sat in the wrong seats, so unfortunately Sirius had to sit a few seats away from James.

"Er mate," Remus whispered, leaning over to talk to James.

"What?"

"Did you know that you're wearing a Slytherin tie?"

Slowly, James looked down. Sure enough, there was green and silver instead of the red and gold that there should be. He huffed, tugging on the knot to loosen it. He pulled it over his head. "Oi!" he whispered, in the sort of way that could definitely be heard but it still felt like he was talking quieter. "Sirius!"

He looked over, and James tossed him his tie. He caught it, frowned, flipped the tie he was wearing up to look at the colour, then rolled his eyes. He tugged it off and threw it to James, pulling his own on and fixing it.

Remus stared at him disbelievingly as James, without fanfare, put his own back on. "You're not going to say anything?" he hissed.

James blinked. "About what?"

"Are you shagging?"

"Don't be crass."

"Oh bloody Merlin you are. Can you believe this?" he asked Peter, turning slightly towards him.

"Yes," Peter said without lifting his head from where it was resting on his hand. "I'm surprised we haven't walked in on them going at it by now."

"Shut it and pay attention," James said, leaning forward to flick his ear.

He scowled, batting at James's retreating hand, and didn't say another word about Sirius and his relationship for the rest of class. People gave them various looks throughout the lecture, but it wasn't anything more than the occasional glance, so James didn't worry about it, and Sirius seemed to be sketching a motorbike so he was too busy to pay attention to anything going on around him.

"So are you two dating?" Mary asked when they all shuffled out into the corridor.

"They've been dating for ages," Peter said, rolling his eyes, but was largely ignored.

"And if you are, when did it start?" Dorcas asked. "Cause we've got a pool going and we need to see who wins it."

"You can't tell them about the betting pool, that's interfering!" Lily hissed, swatting her friend on the shoulder.

"Well it's not like they didn't already know that something was going on."

"Please tell me you didn't shag in our dormitory," Remus said, wrinkling his nose.

"Of course they're together," Peter tried again.

"I dunno, maybe Sirius stayed the night and that's how their ties got mixed up."

"Duh that's what happened!"

"I meant that it could have been a friendly sleepover."

"I am so sure."

"Oh shut it what would you know about romance Evans? Your last date was Valentines when all us girls went out together, and that hardly counts."

"If I tell you," James said loudly, cutting above the chatter, "will you all shut it?" That received nods, so he looked to Sirius for his opinion-- he shrugged, uncaring. "We're dating. Now shut it." It's not like he disagreed with people talking about how wonderful they were, but all he wanted right now was to find a bit of privacy so he could snog Sirius's face off, and an audience wasn't conducive to that plan. He grabbed Sirius's hand and dragged him off to find that privacy. Well, dragged was a bit of an exaggeration. He grabbed Sirius's hand and started walking, and Sirius cheerfully fell into step beside him.

"Let's agree to not tell them that that was the first time we did it."

"Deal."

[sofreakinmanyfandoms]

The Nice Guy - Part 3

Here it is, all. Part 3 of 6.

Word count: 1986

Warnings: Mentions of depression and attempted suicide

------------------------------

“Hi.”

At the soft voice, you looked up from your spot on the couch and saw your best friend standing in the doorway. You would regret giving him a key if you were currently capable of feeling emotions.

When you didn’t respond, Clint came over and knelt in front of you. You tried to ignore him in favor of snuggling deeper into your blanket burrito, but he pulled the edge of the blanket away from your face.

“Did you quit your job?” he asked.

All you could muster was a nod.

“Are you taking the semester off?”

Another nod.

“Have you told the school yet?”

A head-shake no.

“All right, here’s what I’m going to do.” His voice was so soft and comforting you were suddenly near tears. “I’m going to call the school and tell them – I’m still your emergency contact, right?” A nod. “Okay, good.  I’m going to call them and tell them you won’t be taking classes this semester. They’ll give you a week to move out of your apartment. Then I’ll call Nat and Bucky, and they’ll come over and the three of us will pack up your stuff and move you in with Nat and I. You won’t have to worry about rent; we’re covering it just fine.”

“Thank you.”

It was a broken whisper, but it was a reply. Clint closed his eyes briefly before locking them back with yours and stroking a hand through your hair.

“Anything for you, love. We’re gonna help you get through this. All of us.”

There turned out to be a lot of shifting in the housing department. Sam wasn’t doing so well on his own either, so Steve became his new roommate and Natasha and Bucky got an apartment together, freeing up Nat’s old room for you to move into. Clint waved off your question about rent now that he and Natasha weren’t splitting the cost.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told you. “I run errands for the lady who owns this building and she gives me a discount on rent in exchange. I’ve got it covered.”

---------- 

Nat pulled Clint aside during the moving shuffle when you were nowhere near hearing range.

“Are you going to be okay living with Y/N?” she asked him.

“Of course I will be. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you’ve had a crush on her for twelve years and you’re taking a semester off to take care of her? Don’t deny it, I saw the paperwork on the kitchen counter.”

Clint sighed and hung his head, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “I know that even if she were interested in a relationship with me someday, it won’t be anytime soon, but I can’t leave her alone like this. She’s drowning. Riley meant as much to her as he did to Sam, and Sam grew up with the guy. He was about to propose, asked me to help him find a ring she would like; we were going to go a couple days after the accident. She needs someone to help her through this, and if I have to basically be the gay best friend to help her out, I will, no hesitation.”

“Just don’t get hurt,” Natasha said softly, reaching out to rub his arm. “I care about Y/N, but I care about you too. If it gets to be too much, we can swap things around with the roommate situation. Bucky and I talked about it, although I told him Y/N might end up needing a female roommate. Either way, we’ll make it work, but don’t let yourself get in too deep because you feel obligated. You have a tendency to care for people at the cost of your well-being.”

“Guilty as charge,” he grinned ruefully. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“You’d better be.” She pulled back and changed her tone to something more playful. “If you’re not, I’ll have to come over and kick your ass, and that would interrupt my extra time with Bucky, which I am very much looking forward to.”

“I’ll be careful.”

----------

“How many days since you last showered?” Clint asked when he got home from work.

You sighed. He was always checking in with you, making sure you were drinking enough water, eating properly, actually doing your laundry and putting it away after instead of just recycling anything that didn’t smell too terrible.

“I don’t know. Maybe three or four?”

“Right. Change.”

There was no point in arguing, so you dragged yourself to your room to change into your bathing suit before meeting him in the bathroom. It hadn’t taken long for Clint to figure out that even when you didn’t have the energy to clean yourself, you could still soak in the tub. He’d started running hot baths for you which you would take in your suit while he passed you your facewash or worked shampoo through your hair. It was both annoying and incredibly comforting how much effort he put into making sure you were taken care of.

“Clint,” you asked after your bath as you stepped out of the tub and wrapped yourself in the towel he passed you, “why do you do all this?”

He bit his bottom lip and took long enough to reply that you thought maybe he wouldn’t.

“I know what depression is like, and I know you need time to mourn, but I’m not going to let temporary depression become something long term. Not for you.”

You ducked your head. He hadn’t told you and Natasha about his depression until he had finally reached rock bottom, lying in a hospital bed after attempting to take his own life. After that you had both done your best to help him, staying with him through the therapy and doctor’s appointments, making sure he took his meds every day, and trying your hardest to give him reasons to smile while not letting him feel like a burden. The two of you had even refused to drink once you hit twenty-one since he couldn’t mix alcohol with his medication, a show of support your whole friend group had adopted. Having seen the toll the bad years had taken and knowing that he still had to be on medication to keep it from coming back, you felt a burst of warmth knowing that he was doing his best to keep that from ever happening to you.

“Thank you.” You surprised him by wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest, before you realized that you were still soaked. “Oops,” you said, pulling back to look down at his wet clothing, “sorry.”

“Anything for you, love,” he replied with a smile, pulling you back in for another hug.

----------

It was October before you realized that while he left most days for work, Clint had never mentioned classes. You swore to yourself and paced the living room, waiting for him to get home. He was your best friend! Had you really been so wrapped up in your own world of pain that you hadn’t realized what he had given up for you? You’d been getting yourself worked up over it for two hours when you finally heard the door open, followed by Clint’s cheery, “I’m home!”

“You dropped out.” Your roommate looked confused as you launched into his face and started lecturing him almost before he could shut the door behind himself. “You’ve gone to work but not to class. I’ve never seen you working on homework.” Realization struck his face, but you continued. “You shouldn’t have done that, Clint. You were on scholarship. You shouldn’t have given that up for me. I’d have been fine.”

“Y/N, relax, it’s okay,” Clint cut in before you could continue your rant. “I filled out some paperwork when I made the decision. As long as I start again next semester, I won’t forfeit my scholarship. I had to fill out the same paperwork for you, by the way, but you don’t seem worried about potentially losing yours.”

“Oh.” Your prepared argument suddenly seemed irrelevant, but there was still a question lingering in your mind that you needed answered. “Thanks. But…”

“But what?” he asked, pulling you into a hug. “I don’t regret it. It’ll just take me a little longer to graduate, same as you. That’s worth it if it means you’ll be okay.”

“That’s not it,” you said, pulling back. “It’s just…when I realized you took the semester off, I started thinking about everything. You pay the full rent. You make sure I’m eating. Hell, Clint, you run me a bath and wash my hair when I can’t get up the energy to shower! That’s not normal ‘I’m your friend and want you to be okay’ stuff, that’s…” Please, please deny it… “That’s ‘I’m in love with you’ stuff.”

Clint’s silence spoke volumes. “Damn it. Why?”

He slowly reached up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “Because you’re amazing. You’re kind and funny and stubborn and so, so beautiful. But I made my peace with the fact that I had missed my chance and you might never love me back when you started dating Riley. Even if you never feel the same I’ll still be here, I’ll still be your friend, and I still be taking care of you because you’re worth it.”

He sounded so earnest your heart broke for him.

“I don’t feel the same,” you whispered.

“Of course you don’t. You can’t. You just lost someone you loved a few months ago.”

“Where do we go from here?”

He shrugged. “Why do we have to go anywhere? I meant it when I said I’ve made my peace with you not loving me back. You knowing how I feel doesn’t make me any less your friend.”

You tentatively agreed, unsure how anything could really be the same. After two weeks, however, you started to relax. Clint wasn’t treating you any differently or expecting anything more from you than you had already given him.

The start of a new semester came around and Clint lined up his classes with yours as best he could so the two of you could carpool, saving you gas money. He insisted you wait until you knew you could handle your class load before looking for a job.

“Don’t rush back into everything too quickly. Give yourself time to adjust.”

Along with returning to school, you started spending more time with your friends. You hadn’t even realized you had been isolating yourself so much until Steve hugged you and asked how you were doing. Renewed contact led to more group activities and hangouts, and while you were definitely aware of the lack of Riley’s presence, it hurt less as time went on.

One Saturday evening in March after a movie night at Natasha and Bucky’s you started thinking as Clint drove you home. Since your epiphany in October, even though your friendship hadn’t changed, you had started to notice his eyes. They carried a softness whenever he was taking care of you that you hadn’t realized was there before. How many years had he looked at you like that or given you a smile like you were his whole world without you noticing?

By 2 a.m. you finally acknowledged that sleep was not going to come anytime soon. You padded out of your room, intending to get a snack from the kitchen but pausing at the light shining under Clint’s bedroom door. It only took a moment to make up your mind. You raised your hand and lightly knocked.

“Come in.”

Clint was sitting on his desk (a habit you’d teased him about as long as you’d known him) typing something on his laptop. When you poked your head in his room, he set the computer aside.

“Is everything okay?”

You nodded and took a deep breath.

“Can I talk to you about something?”