#Anakin’s lack of sleep

[the-far-bright-center]

This is an important and often overlooked topic with Anakin. I agree that it's definitely canon that he has massive sleep deprivation issues, insomnia, etc, and much of it because of his frequent dreams/nightmares. (Think there is something in the EU that mentions he was also afraid to fall asleep while on campaign during the Clone Wars because he talked in his sleep and didn't want to give away his secret about Padme.) But yeah, lack of sleep can lead to paranoia and poor decision making abilities (amongst many other things), so... it's heartbreaking he couldn't get more help with his before it was too late. :'(

Regarding him being the only one who believed his dreams were prophetic.... that's a tricky one. I think in the Original Trilogy it is established that prophetic dreams *are* a real thing for Force users (in ESB when Luke is with Yoda and dreams that Han and Leia are or will soon be in danger). The issue is moreso that the Jedi—or at least, Yoda, since he's one of the few other Jedi we see discussing this subject with the characters—believe that dreams can show the future but that 'the future is always in motion'. In other words, nothing is 'set in stone'. So, Yoda teaches that attempting to change or intervene in the future you see in your dream is a fraught thing, because there's always an uncertainty in how it will actually pan out, and the risk of maybe triggering some worse outcome. This is what the Jedi seem to believe about dreams and visions in a general sense, and is perhaps why they don't believe in rushing to do something just because you dreamed about something bad happening. But the problem is that Anakin has been having prophetic dreams and visions since he was a child on Tatooine, before he was even a Jedi. This is established in both the TPM film and novelization. So in his mind, these esoteric discussions with Obi-Wan and Yoda that suggest 'doing nothing' and just 'letting it go' are frustrating and unhelpful since 1) he's experienced his dreams coming to pass before, and 2) one of the main reasons he wanted to become a Jedi in the first place was so he could help and save his loved ones. Having dreams he knows to be of a prophetic nature which show horrible things happening to his loved ones and which make him feel helpless to do anything to save them is therefore a particularly exquisite kind of torture for Anakin. What Anakin needed was for someone to help him better understand the specific nature of HIS own dreams, not just dismissive ideas of the future being 'impossible to safely intervene in and therefore you shouldn't even attempt to do so'. And while I don't think they doubted that Anakin was very powerful, I do think Obi-Wan and Yoda may have not fully grasped the fact his dreams almost always do come to pass. Again, it seems like this 'level' of prophetic dreaming should have been addressed with much more in-depth advice than just 'ignore the dreams, nothing you can do, let people you love die'.

I think one of the other issues is that the Jedi could not *relate* to the sheer power and intensity of Anakin's feelings (or 'attachments') for those whom he loved. And thus could not understand the lengths he would always go to try to save those he cared about. They also probably did not fully understand or relate to his deep-seated Fear of Loss which was related to his fear of Death. Anakin did not believe that death was anything other than a finality, that it was the end of existence. I believe this is because of his experiences from a young age—one of his earliest memories as a child was witnessing a slave who tried to escape get blown up in front of him. His inability to simply ‘let go' and accept mortality is because he has only ever had negative associations with death. And as a slave, his own potential death and that of his fellow slaves was always in the hands of someone else. His master could always hold this over him, to control him. In this light, Anakin's proclamation in AotC that he will 'even learn to stop people from dying' can be seen as the despairing cry of someone who wants freedom from the fear and helplessness that the spectre of death instills in him. What Anakin needed was for someone to understand his paralysing fear (instead of just condemning it as an inevitable a path toward darkness) and actually offer advice or reassurance more substantial than just a vague concept of being 'one with the Force' or 'letting go', which to Anakin just meant 'failing to save someone despite having the power to do so'.

Seriously, someone help this man; no wonder Anakin is so messed up since he lacks a decent, good sleep. He either dreams nightmares or doesn’t sleep at all…

In Rogue Planet Anakin was around 12 years old. Obi-Wan - and I’m guessing Jedi Council too - knew about Anakin’s frequent nightmares / troubled sleep.

In AotC - when Anakin was 20 years old, he had constantly nightmares about his mother who by month was tortured by Tuskan Raiders. Via Force Anakin could feel her pain from far away, yet Jedi didn’t let him go to rescue her. Obi-Wan told him the dream will “pass one day”.

During Clone Wars era, Anakin didn’t sleep any better. He hated dreams. Also the TCW series at least once pointed out that Anakin was overworking himself; like instead of resting, he was studying holomaps / working on new strategies, etc. In EU he usually was fixing things as a stress relief

The dreams of Padme & unborn child death didn’t help at all

Even as a Lord of the Sith, sleep never come easy to him. Both because of his health conditions but also because of what Empire does to others. In case above, it was a night when Vader learnt about slavery being a new part of Palpatine’s regime.

[tragedykery]

I love it when characters. suck

[kyliafanfiction]

One change saves the Galactic Republic:

Every character, including Palpatine, gets 8 hours (or whatever is requisite for their species) every night.

Everyone else is more alert and sane, and Palpatine has less time to scheme.

Boom, problem solved.

[ddejavvu]

Mei! You know how sometimes when you put a bra on that has padding you sometimes have to adjust it a little? I feel like Anakin would see reader do that one time and offer to “help” from then on “to make sure it’s in the proper spot” but really it’s just to touch your boobs.

You're not surprised to feel a large palm pressing against the heft of your breast, and you wish you could say you're disappointed, but you're not. That doesn't mean that you can't act like you are, though.

"Anakin."

"I'm helping!" He insists, his voice thick with sleep but fiery with intensity, "I'm rearranging the foam thing in there."

"The pad?"

"Yeah, the pad. I'm rearranging the pad."

"The pad is in perfect position," You swat his hand away, "Thank you very much."

"Gimme the other one," He demands, palm flat and fingers curling and uncurling, "I'm the bra inspector."

"You're a perv," You accuse, taking advantage of his still-closed eyes to reach over and press his face into the pillow. Perhaps you shouldn't be smothering him so early in the morning, but you're admittedly a little jealous that he gets to sleep in and you have to work.

His reflexes may be slowed by his grogginess but his muscles aren't, and he wrestles your hand away from his face and uses it to yank you back down onto the bed. You go from towering over his sprawled out form to being pinned beneath it, and his victory spoils come in the form of a prompt squeeze to your previously untouched breast.

"Mm-mm. Pad's all wrong." He laments, clicking his tongue sympathetically as he settles his hand over your chest, "It's so bad I think we just need to scrap the whole thing. Take it off?"

"The pad is fine!" You laugh, but Anakin's lithe fingers have already slipped into the gap between layers of fabric to yank the foam pad out of your bra. He's quick to slip it down the front of his pajama pants, grinning smugly at you as he leans back with tousled hair against the headboard of your bed.

"Hey!"

"Take it."

"I have more bras," You huff, stripping off the lopsided bra and digging in your drawers for the others, "I'm gonna be late for work, Anakin!"

You expect a groan of defeat from Anakin but it's cheekiness you hear instead, "They're empty."

"What?"

He's right. There's a distinct lack of form in each piece of fabric laying limp in your drawers.

"Anakin!"

"I'll give them back! Just let me put them in," He grins doggedly, "Deal?"

"Only because I'm late for work," You gripe, glaring at him with all the force you can muster even though you're beginning to flush.

"Liar," His eyes gleam with excitement as he lunges for the drawer beside his bed, withdrawing two foam bra pads from within, "Once I get my hands on you you'll be begging me not to stop."

[st4rfckerz]

2:37 am | stepbro!anakin x reader (pt. 1)

word count: 2.5k

warnings: MDNI 18+, dubcon, stepcest, dry humping, slight aftercare, dead dove do not eat.

summary: during a sleepless night, your stepbrother, anakin comes to your aid.

a/n: this is inspired by a video i saw on twitter AND a dream i had, so i just had to write about it.

pt. 2 here

you never expected your father to remarry after your parents' divorce. but much to your surprise, your father did just that. not only did he remarry, but he also brought a new family into your life - a stepbrother named anakin.

you quickly learned that anakin had a troubled past. he's always got some new story about a friend getting arrested, an incident involving drugs or something else. despite his antics, you couldn't help but find him attractive, his messy hair, constant teasing, and his intense gaze all got you feeling hot under the collar. but you knew he was off-limits as he was your stepbrother, and your feelings for him were something you tried hard to suppress.

it was another sleepless night. you were reading a book in bed, trying to get your mind off the fact that sleeping is just not something your body wants to do. you were wide awake.

you set the book down and looked at the clock that stayed on your nightstand.

2:37 am.

you let out a heavy sigh, then you set the book down and leaned back in your bed, trying your best to focus back on the book. but, as always, your mind was elsewhere.

your thoughts were abruptly interrupted as you heard a few light knocks at your bedroom door.

"who else could be awake this late?" you thought to yourself. after placing your book on your bed, you went to open the door. you slowly open it and raise your head to see anakin.

"you're still up." anakin says in a whisper, his voice quiet and deep. the faint glow of your lamp's warm light illuminated his face, displaying a small grin pulling at his lips. anakin crosses his arms and leans against your doorframe.

"couldn't sleep," you respond softly, trying to keep your voice quiet. "what about you?" you try not to feel intimated as anakin's eyes carefully scanned yours. although his body was slumped slightly against the wall, he still appeared to be towering over you.

"couldn't sleep either, can i come in?" he asks. you stepped to the side, out of his way, and watched as he walked slowly into your room. anakin glanced around your room as you silently closed your door. his gaze lands on the book lying on your bed.

"catcher and the rye?" anakin asked curiously. smirk on his face and his eyebrow raised. he flips through a few pages before taking a seat on the side of your bed.

"i've read about five chapters tonight," you sigh, taking a seat next to him. "still not tired."

anakin snickered quietly before sitting down next to you. he gave you a look that was difficult to interpret until he spoke again.

"it's your little boyfriend again, isn't it?" anakin said as he shifted in his seat. it was as if he was trying to find a more comfortable position to be in. his knee accidentally knocked yours, making your body tense up slightly. he knew exactly what he was doing.

"yeah," you huff defeatedly. "there's just been a lack of communication i guess." you look down at your fingers that rest on your lap, avoiding anakin's lingering gaze.

you often complained to anakin about your boyfriend and how you felt he was treating you unfairly. anakin didn't like your boyfriend and he would often tease you, hinting at how he felt about him. anakin secretly wished that he could have your attention instead.

a small chuckle erupts from anakin's throat. "he doesn't fuck you." he says bluntly. you quickly snap your head up, your wide eyes meeting his. your silence speaks volumes, your attempt to find words faltering before they even leave your lips. the room fills with a charged tension as your face turns hot and pink, a flush of embarrassment spreading across your cheeks.

"maybe." you reply quietly as you look back down at your lap. as embarrassing as it was, you knew anakin wasn't wrong. your boyfriend never made you cum. ever.

anakin knew immediately what he was doing to you. in fact, anakin knew exactly what was really going on in your mind and it was a bit too obvious. he could tell you were sexually frustrated by the way you always avoided his intense eye contact and how you blushed nearly everytime he'd speak to you.

"when was the last time you came?" anakin asks. he drops his head down lower, you could feel his breath on your neck as he spoke.

"i-i don't know." you stutter. your heart begins to race as anakin interrogated you. anakin's eyes moved up and down your body. he saw how nervous you were starting to get and he liked it.

"poor girl, must be really frustrating, hm?" his lips come even closer to your ear, so close that they're almost brushing against your skin. "i can fix that..." he whispers.

"anakin, what are you talking about?" you lean your body away from his.

anakin saw that you tried to lean away but he stopped you. with a firmer grip, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him. he lowered his lips to your ear again and spoke.

"you know what i'm talking about, and you know exactly what i can help you with." he purred with a sly smile. "i've seen the way you look at me." you feel his hand slowly traveled towards your exposed thighs.

"anakin sto-" anakin was relentless. you tried to push him away and he fought back. anakin's hand tightened on the side of your face, gripping your chin with force. his lips pressed firmly against yours. your mind went blank and for a moment and you felt a certain excitement building up inside you, despite the fact that you felt guilty about what you were doing. you tried to think of your boyfriend and how this would only make things worse, but those thoughts slowly faded away. you wanted this.

anakin's firm hold on your jaw started to relax as his lips devoured yours. as the kiss continued, his arm that was tightly wrapped around your waist was released and his hand traveled towards your thigh once again, his fingers gently rubbing the skin.

"just let me help." anakin spoke in a slightly deeper, more enticing tone than before. you felt his warm breath on your skin as he softly kissed down your neck, his tongue slowly making its way up your neck. his hand moved to your hair, gently rubbing the back of your head as you felt his fingers slowly creep towards your inner thigh. your veins are filled with an increased level of arousal, and you can feel it pooling in your panties.

the sound of your heart pumping and adrenaline coursing through your body overwhelmed your thoughts. the need to become as close to anakin as possible overtook everything else.

anakin brought you both higher up on your bed and you lay on top of him, his hands wrapping around your arms as he pulled you closer. his lips tasted so sweet and as soon as your tongues met, you felt a rush of sensations, like never before. your breath was taken and your heart pounded in your chest. he moaned softly and you felt him grasp at your hips, pulling you closer to him.

anakin's hands slowly slide down your waist. with a firm and assertive touch, he begins to skillfully remove your shorts, his fingers deftly unfastening the garment and sliding it down your legs.

the sensation of cool air against your exposed skin only intensifies the heat that envelopes them. the tingling anticipation courses through your veins as you remain seated on anakin's lap, your kiss unbroken.

anakin's touch is both possessive and tender, his hands trailing up your legs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

he pulls away from the kiss before speaking again, "lift yourself up." he said in a soft and low voice, a slight smile forming on his face. you did as he asked and he quickly removed his black, plaid pajama pants. anakin's boxer-clad erection protruded against the fabric, stealing your attention.

"eyes up here, angel." he teases with a knowing smile playing on his lips. anakin's gaze held yours captive, his dark eyes filled with an irrepressible hunger. he pulls you back over towards him, his body against yours.

as you settle back down against anakin's bulge, a soft, involuntary moan escapes your lips.  the sensation of his throbbing length pressing against your drooling cunt sends a jolt of arousal through your body, a sweet ache of desire stirs your senses.

a smug grin dances upon anakin's lips as he observes your reaction, relishing in the control he holds over you.

"just follow me." he whispers. you had no words to say and did as he instructed. you nodded your head to let him know that you heard and understood him. with a firm but gentle touch, anakin's hands find their way to the small of your back, guiding your movements and synchronizing your rhythm. a low, throaty moan escapes his lips.

"fuck." anakin breathes out.

with each rut of your hips, the pleasure builds, your bodies moving in sync. the friction between you and anakin heightens the sensations pulsing through your bodies. a wet patch grows on your panties, a clear sign of your arousal.

anakin's eyes beam with amusement as he grazes his fingertips along the damp fabric.

"god, look at that," he purrs. his touch is feather-light, tracing the outline of the wet patch, sending shivers of anticipation through your body. "you're killing me." anakin lulls his head back against your headboard, catching his bottom lip in between his teeth. his eyes were glued to the way your hot pussy rocked so deliciously against his throbbing cock.

your head hangs low, and your breaths become shallow and little whimpers escape your parted lips.

"feel good?" anakin asks. you nod your head in response. "use your words baby." his words send a spark of electricity down to your core.

"y-yes, feels s'good ani." you pant. anakin groans quietly when he hears you refer to him by his nickname.

"that's my girl." he coos. with a sudden flick of his wrist, anakin lifts up your small shirt, exposing your breasts to him. anakin's lips latch onto one of your exposed nipples, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud. he alternates between gentle sucks and flicks of his tongue, coaxing the sweetest moans from your lips. simultaneously, his free hand palms the other breast, squeezing and massaging it with a firm grip. your back arches instinctively, pushing your chest further into his mouth as you drown in the sensations he evokes.

"ani, i'm close," you whimper as you feel that long forgotten coil begin to form in the pit of your stomach.

anakin removes his big hand from your nipple and returns it to the fat of your thigh. your bodies move in sync, the rhythm building with a fervent need. anakin's grip on your thighs remain unyielding, his strength displaying the control he holds over the both of you.

"let it go angel, cum for me." anakin mewls. you could tell he was close to his own orgasm by the way his stomach repeatedly flexed under your hands.

the knot in your stomach finally snaps, releasing a wave of pleasure that courses through your body. a loud, unrestrained moan escapes your lips, but before the sound can fully escape into the air, anakin's hand swiftly clamps across your mouth, muffling the sound.

"shhh, we don't need anyone hearing us." anakin whispers. as the sound is stifled, anakin's own release crashes over him. his body tenses, muscles contracting as he spills his seed into his boxers.

"s-shit," a string of filthy whimpers escape anakin's lips. you take in deep, ragged breaths, your body still humming with the aftershocks of pleasure.

anakin gently brushes a strand of your sweaty hair away from your forehead, his touch tender and reassuring. he can feel the rapid rise and fall of your chest as you breathe heavily, your body slowly coming down from the intensity of your shared orgasm. anakin's arms instinctively tighten around your waist as you rest your forehead against his shoulder.

"you feel better?" anakin's voice, quiet and breathy, breaks through the silence that envelops the room.

"so much better." you respond with a light chuckle. anakin gently tugs you away from his shoulder. his eyes locking onto the dampness spreading across your underwear. the sight of the wet spot elicits a mischievous smirk from his lips.

"yeah i can tell." he jokes. his fingers trail along the edges of the wet patch, the fabric damp and clinging to your sensitive skin.

"here, let me help you with these." after easing you off of him and onto your feet, anakin sits on the side of the bed. he helps you take off your stained panties, his touch gentle and considerate, his fingers sliding under the fabric to ease it down.

anakin's gaze lingers for a moment, taking in the sight of your glistening folds. with a shaking breath, he quickly turns around, his heart pounding as he retrieves his pajama pants. facing away from you, he slips them back on, his movements slightly hurried as he tries to regain his composure. anakin's pants hang loosely on his hips, the fabric draping casually over his slender frame.

you change into clean underwear and pull on your discarded shorts that resided on the ground. the soft fabric glides against your skin, providing a gentle caress that contrasts with the electric tension that still lingers in the air.

as you turn back around, you see anakin holding your soaked underwear in his hands. you felt embarrassed and awkward at this moment yet anakin's face was filled with a slight smile.

"i'll put these in the laundry room for you." he smiles as he makes his way towards you. a wave of comfort sweeps over you as anakin pulls the cozy comforter over your body after you climb into bed. you feel safe in anakin's presence, his protective nature always made your chest feel fuzzy.

leaning down, anakin's lips press against your forehead. the weight of his lips against your skin sends a jolt of warmth through your body, a sweet sensation that lingers even after his touch is gone.

"thank you, ani." your voice was soft, and almost innocent, considering what had just occurred in your room. anakin turns on his heel, making his way towards the door. the sight of his retreating figure stirs a whirlwind of emotions within you.

anakin steps into the hallway, he glances back, his eyes meeting yours displaying a glint of affection.

"sleep well sis." anakin smiles and closes the door behind him, leaving you snuggled comfortably in your bed.

he locked the door after leaving you to sleep and walked straight into his room, not even taking a look at the laundry room.

as you fell asleep, you wondered how this would affect your relationship and you hoped that anakin wouldn't tell anyone. you thought back on the event, still flushed with guilt, yet something about it felt different. something felt good about it, despite its wrong-ness.

[saphronethaleph]

Literary Illusions

“It’s ironic,” Palpatine said, shaking his head. “He could save others from death, but not himself.”

Anakin frowned.

“And this is something the Jedi wouldn’t have told me?” he asked.

“Of course not,” Palpatine replied. “Is it a story you’ve heard?”

“Well, yes,” Anakin said. “Just now, from you. But not before then… and that surprises me, Chancellor.”

Palpatine shrugged. “I think you’ll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.”

“Maybe not, but… honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing they’d tell me,” Anakin said.

Palpatine frowned.

“...what?” he asked.

“You know,” Anakin said. “Some Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesn’t bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, they’d have been immortal.”

He shrugged. “It’s a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and it’s the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because they’re not directly related to gaining power… hold on a second.”

Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.

“...Anakin?” he said. “Are you getting your comlink out?”

“Yeah,” Anakin replied. “Going to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe there’s some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.”

The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. “He probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.”

Palpatine blinked several times.

“...don’t,” he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. “It’s the middle of a performance. We don’t want to interrupt them.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s on silent,” Anakin replied, with a shrug. “Or vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate… hang on, Chancellor, I’ll make sure it’s on silent…”

He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.

“Oh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,” Anakin said. “Hang on… uh… yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. I’ve been missing a lot of sleep lately.”

“Perhaps-” Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.

“Huh,” he said. “He says he’s never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like he’s really interested… or maybe he’s trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, he’s terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks he’s good at them.”

Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.

“Is there a book I can get the whole story from?” he asked, instead. “Obi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.”

“That is not the point,” Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. “The point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!”

“Maybe there used to be, but not any more,” Anakin shrugged. “Like you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and I’m not sure Dooku knew it either… hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?”

Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.

“What?” he asked.

“You know, a play,” Anakin explained. “Dramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. It’d be better than this, anyway.”

He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.

“...what is wrong with Squid Lake?” Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.

“Well, uh,” Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. “Actually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.”

“It’s a ballet,” Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.

“It’s just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,” Anakin went on. “Someone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldn’t swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.”

Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatine’s look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.

“Watto was a lot of things,” he said. “But he had culture.”

Palpatine’s hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.

It was extraordinarily tempting.

“...hold on,” Anakin said, slowly. “I guess… the thing I’d like most at the moment is for… and that means… this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.”

He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. “Thanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet won’t mind.”

Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldn’t think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.

“Love?” Anakin said, into his commlink. “I… think we need to come clean, because otherwise I’ll fall to the Dark Side.”

Palpatine’s eye twitched.

[forever--darling]

say yes to me

summary: anakin skywalker was like a forbidden fruit, the roommate to the guy that had been sleeping with your roommate for most of the school year. the very man who lived just down the hall from you & quite possibly the only man who was capable of silencing you, because he made you that nervous. you thought he had disliked you, despised you even, but it turns out when you lose one pair of red lacy underwear in the laundry room, that isn't quite the case.

pairings: anakin skywalker x reader

word count: 12.9k

warnings/notes: modern au, college!reader, SMUT, minors DNI, like actual filth, p & v, slight degradation, mentions of masturbation, slight enemies to lovers if you squint, dominant!anakin, public nudity (slightly), no protection mentioned (but please do use it), sorry not sorry, it had to be written.

masterlist

song inspo: lose face - daniel di angelo

Anakin Skywalker despised you. He did. He would never admit it. But it was the kind of disdain that had only appeared, almost bubbling over time since the very moment he met you, over your complete obliviousness when it came to him. Or it was more ignorance, perhaps. 

You ignored him. His existence, his looming eyes that seemed to filter over your frame whenever the two of you were in the same room together, which was often. Often since you lived in the same apartment building and your two roommates had been fucking since a few weeks into the new semester. He would have to endure your impending silence, your lack of awareness of him for hours on end, sometimes many days in a row. It was excruciating how much he disliked you. Disliked those who got your attention, even his roommate, because it was something you would never give him. 

At first, he didn’t think much of it. How could he? You were gorgeous and hot, his attraction something evident from the beginning, but you could barely exchange a few words with him, let alone meet his eyes if it ever was just the two of you in a room, this one more rare. You seemed shy. Innocent. Unwilling to be tainted by him. Something he could understand, even get behind. That is until he noticed the way you interacted with others.

You were a Pre-Law major, and Pre-Law majors couldn’t afford to be shy or even mute like you appeared around him. It was a surprise when he found you late on a Friday night in their apartment, where his roommate was hosting a party, surrounded by five guys playing cards. A drink sat in front of you, lipstick stains coating the glass in the most enticing of pinks. A low-cut top that was tight hugged your torso, making it hard for Anakin to hold in any physical sound.

You were ethereal at that moment as you tipped your head back, laughing, eyelashes batting with ease — innocence void from your lustful gaze. You were putting every one of those five guys in their place, practically pulling the cash out of their wallets from simply your tongue, all while you threw progressive law jargon their way. All of which he could understand easily, far smarter than he ever let on but it all went over their ungrateful heads. You were intelligent, so breathtaking, and completely squandering it on meatheads like the ones his roommate often interacted with, and he hated them. Hated them because you would never look at him the way you did them. 

Hated them because you seemed to despise him just as much as he did you, enough that your interactions were left to drown in the thickest silence. The kinds where his pants twitched, and he wished to force you against a wall, just so you would look at him, for once. It was all that he asked, to feel what it was like to have your eyes on his. To either face the itch he got for you head-on or come to terms that it was all in his head. That it all was manifested in the truest form of need; arousal. 

How could he though when your roommate was at his apartment a few nights a week? The last thing he needed was for her to glare at him, and take him to be some asshole with a weird obsession that lacked boundaries. He couldn’t live in that reality, not when he was so much nicer, even without the possibility of your legs wrapped around him. 

It didn’t mean it was easy. Truthfully it never was. 

Especially that afternoon as he found you parading around your apartment building’s halls, laundry basket in hand, headphones pulled over your ears. It was actually almost painful. The way your loose university sweatpants hugged low on your waist, rolled once, dipping enough that he was able to see your naval piercing. Your shirt was small, a tanktop that left little to his imagination, especially your perky nipples that stuck out enough he noticed them right away. Your hair was pulled back by a clip, but a few pieces framed your face, and even that alone frustrated him. Frustrated him that you walked around like that, almost to torture him, almost oblivious to how you looked. 

It seemed you were just as oblivious about his presence, evident in the way you walked into the laundry room on their floor, mouthing the words of the song you were listening to, hips swaying far too much, but blind to the fact that he was in the room too. Or you knew and just didn’t care. That was something he could believe, a hundred times. 

He stood a few machines away from yours, pulling his clean laundry out from the washer to put in the dryer. His eyes flickered over to your form every few seconds. It seemed to be something he couldn’t help, unable to stop the way his blue irises traced the skin along your waist and how there was nothing but a thin shirt that separated your chest from him. He knew he shouldn’t be looking at you that way. If it was anyone else, it could have been creepy, but because it was him.

You hadn’t even looked his way, your eyes never gracing his form as being the one in the room and not just another guy from the floor. Anakin was sure, though, that if it had been anyone else, you would have acknowledged them. He hated how much he thought of it. Hated how much you hated him. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, the word unable to slip as he saw you from the corner of his eye, bending over just enough to grab your dry laundry from the dryer. 

He hated how he wasn’t in front of you or behind you for the view but rather just witnessing from the side of you the way your shirt loosened around your frame enough that he could have been able to see down your shirt. He was able to see the back material of your underwear hugging your hips, though. The thinness of it taunting like it could have snapped under one flick from his fingers. 

You pulled your laundry out, slowly, almost purposefully dropping it in your laundry basket. It only took a minute or two but it felt longer when you finally stood closing the dryer door, with your laundry basket now balancing along your hip. You turned, and yet your eyes never found his, never once acknowledging his form there standing near the washer. 

He hated how his chest tightened, the way his brows furrowed in frustration because you were likely avoiding him. Without a word ever spoken, a second of some sort of acknowledgment, though you could have been sitting in his apartment later that evening, you turned towards the door. You walked out, the door falling shut before you. 

Anakin sighed, his hip leaning against the side of the washer as he stared at the spot you were once standing. His brows were still furrowed, but they relaxed, lifting instead as he noticed the left behind bright red garment on the floor. He smirked almost devishly then as he strode across the laundry floor, bent over and plucked it from the floor. 

He tutted softly then, hating himself for how he clutched the thin piece of lace underwear in his hand like it was a lost treasure. 

The apartment was dark all but for the overhead lights in the kitchen and the candles that decorated the countertop. You sat in your room, almost encompassed by darkness other than the sunset lamp on your windowsill and the lamp on your nightstand. You sat back against your pillows, university sweatpants loose along your waist, revealing most of your stomach as you stared at your phone, unable to stop yourself as you scrolled. 

Harrison had posted a picture, one from the other night when the guys had gone out for drinks. Of course, he had been there. Anakin Skywalker. You almost let out a noise at the sight of him in the picture alone. It was embarrassing. Embarrassing how you stared at it for at least a minute, and even worse when you clicked on his profile name that was tagged. Something that happened more often than it should. 

Your stomach tightened as the familiar page appeared, his profile picture enough to have your legs tightening involuntarily. It was easy to say that he was breathtaking, or perhaps the devil himself, because of just how tempting he truly was. From the way his short curls brushed along the back of his neck, the front swept out of his eyes, or his strong jaw that seemed to always appear clenched unless it was just always that sharp. His eyes. Oh god, those were the worst of all. The blue hues that you swore could burn holes into your very being. The sole reason you couldn’t even meet his gaze; not if you didn’t want him to know. 

Know about your secret attraction that actually had you aching most nights. Nights where you couldn’t help but have your hands dip in between your legs, with him being the only one on your mind, the only voice you conjure up. It was unholy. It was wrong on so many levels, how much you wanted this man, so much so, you became mute when he appeared. 

You were a fumbling idiot around him and you never had been with anyone else. Usually, you were the one who would make them squirm, but with Anakin, you found yourself dripping with a need you had never had before. It didn’t help that he was so fucking quiet, unable to say or initiate anything unless it was his eyes somehow taunting you. It was like he didn’t like you, unable to really say much if he wanted to keep the peace. 

It was torture then as you were left to do nothing but stare and scroll aimlessly on his Instagram. 

It was stupid how he was just as perfect in real life. Not a single fault to be had. Even as he stood in the laundry room that afternoon in nothing but a t-shirt and sweatpants, it had you forcibly clenching your legs shut. The way his shirt hung on his frame was still tight enough to show his muscles underneath. It was casual in a way, something you would only notice if you looked hard enough, which you tended to always do. 

There was nothing to do except act as if he wasn’t there, grab your laundry from the dryer as quickly as you could, and leave before he could say anything before it became too much that you felt like spreading your legs for him right then and there. 

As you scroll down to the previous August and a shirtless picture of him in a boat appears, you couldn’t take it. You shut your phone off, dropped it onto your bed, and fell back against your pillows. Sighing, you stared up at the ceiling hating the bloom of warmth that was appearing in your chest. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” the knock on your bedroom door had you looking over, already expecting the view before you. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

Your roommate stood in your doorway in her shower robe, towel wrapped around her head, concealing her pale blonde hair. Her freshly spray-tanned skin glowed after her shower. As you looked over at her, she raised her brows at you, curiosity appearing.

“Nothing,” you shrugged, stiffening as she glanced at your phone left faced down on your bed. 

She hummed almost in interest but decided not to comment on it, instead taking in your appearance, still dressed in the clothes you had been in for the day as you cleaned the apartment and did your laundry, “Well then, that’s the problem. Girl, we have to be there in an hour.” 

“It’s seriously ten steps down the hall,” you rolled your eyes, “I think we can be late. Why are we going anyway?” 

“Because it’s Saturday night and he invited us.” 

“I know, but we could be going out.” 

“Why so you can go home with someone?” she asked, catching onto the heavy sight that left your parted lips. 

You felt your tongue catch along your teeth and unable to defend yourself, Iris smiled, a laugh emitting with ease as a smirk appeared. 

“That’s so funny,” she noted, so amused by your obvious frustrations, “You know there are going to be guys there.” 

“New guys?” you asked sitting up then with new-found interest, “Not like all of the ones at Harrison’s last party?”

“Well, that I can’t know for sure. You were flirting with at least four of them while you were playing cards. You know, Harrison doesn’t have that many friends, right? So every time one of them is attractive and tries to have sex with you, it’s not like he can go out and find three new ones right away. I’m sure some of them will be there, yes.” 

“Fuck.” 

“But, you know, Anakin will also be there. Apparently, it was his idea for them to throw another one tonight. So, if you want to talk to him,” her voice slowed like she realized what she was saying as it echoed in her ears. 

“Iris…” 

“What?” she laughed, “Maybe if you just talk to him, you’ll realize you don’t have to go and click through his Instagram so much.” 

“Iris!” you gasped, face already beginning to twinge with heat. 

She chuckled, but that quieted at the sight of your embarrassment. If it was any other day, she would say more, but she had had that conversation with you so many times before. It would only sound the same. “What? Right, sorry, anyway, I think Harrison did tell me he invited some guys on his club soccer team. So, I guess you can talk to them.” 

You huffed then, knowing that there was one reason you didn’t want to go the apartment down the hall, even if they did throw the best parties. “It’s just we are always there. Almost every weekend. I miss the bars. We’re legal, which means we should use them.”

“What’s wrong?” she questioned almost immediately, that furrowed look returning. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” 

“You never don’t want to go to the guys’. In fact, sometimes you’re the one who suggests it, especially if they are throwing a party.” 

You were quiet, struggling to find an excuse, anything, as the thought of Anakin Skywalker flashed across your head, the picture of him shirtless still very much the screen that would appear when you unlocked your phone.

“Y/N. Speak. If this is about Anakin Skywalker, I swear—”

“I just thought something else could be fun, that’s all,” you shrugged. 

Her expression faltered slightly. She and Harrison weren’t even officially dating, and still, the thought of not seeing him that night pulled all the excitement out of her. You knew then you wouldn’t be getting your way. “I mean, we can. I would just have text the girls and tell them that—” 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll get dressed,” your voice cut hers off, a sheepish smile appearing, knowing that you had just doomed yourself for the rest of the night. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled, it slightly fake, dread appearing in your stomach, “As long as we don’t go early and we have  a round of shots when get there.”

The hallway was dim, the low lights not as bright as usual, the beige walls seeming to be the only thing able to hold your attention as you trailed after Iris, your hands nervously fiddling with one another. Sometimes you were lucky, as Anakin was not always at the parties his roommate liked to host. Other times, he would show up late, allowing you to settle and drink lots of alcohol to prepare for his presence. And rarely he never showed up at all or was there from the beginning. Tonight would be the latter, and you weren’t ready. 

Even with the two drinks heavily poured with vodka, you felt unsteady, anxious, and warm. It was like the further you walked down the hallway, the more the walls seemed to warp within your mind into a funhouse. It was as if you were high on something, distorting your sense of reality, but really, it was just your heart beating so loudly in your ears and the lack of dinner getting to you. 

You couldn’t eat, not as you paced around your room, half of your closet thrown onto the floor, one drink already leaving rings of water on your coaster upon your desk. It was humiliating. Actually, the worst thing to ever happen to you, as no man had ever done this to you. They couldn’t. It seemed impossible, and yet there you were, acting like a blithering idiot who would surely remain throughout the night until you were too drunk to notice. 

“Y/N, you’re walking slower than my grandma here,” Iris called behind you, stopping near the guys’ door, a chuckle echoing off the walls mixing with the sound of the loud music inside. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled back, trying to speed up but almost feeling as if you would fall with how much your legs were shaking. 

“Are you even going to talk to the guy?” she suddenly asked, turning to face you fully, her hands on her hips and a single brow raised. 

“W-What?” 

“Anakin. Are you going to talk to him tonight, finally? Or is this just how you’re going to act about seeing him.” 

You sighed, her words registering, making you question truly what you were so nervous about, “Iris, I…” 

“Look, if you want to talk to him, that’s fine, but if you’re just like this because he is going to be there, you need to take a second and breathe. Y/N, he’s just a guy. That’s it. A guy you don’t even talk to, trust me when I say he is not that special. You’ve spent enough time in the same room as him to know that.” 

“Right,” you whispered, suddenly finding your shoes more interesting to stare at as you felt your roommate speak. The heat in your face was only worsening, “He’s just a guy.” 

He was, and yet he drove you crazy. 

It was disappointing to find that Iris had to be the one to remind you of that when you had spent the past two years of college seeming to be the one always reminding her of that. You were the one who seemed to understand men, especially idiotic man-child twenty-something-year-olds, and yet here you stood in the hallway of your apartment complex, her finally being the one to give you the reminder. 

Sure, Anakin Skywalker was just a man. 

A twenty-one-year-old man who was quite possibly carved from the most expensive and luxurious marble and gold. He dressed in baggy jeans and warm sweaters, some of which seemed to be designer. He was quiet, unfunny at times, and was so frustrated all of the time. He wasn’t perfect, yet he seemed better than any of the guys you had liked in the past. The loose term was not used often. 

“Just a guy,” she smiled, keeping her sarcasm on lockdown as she reached for your forearm and began to drag you towards the door, “I have never seen you like this.” 

“Like what?” you asked, lowering your voice further as you stood outside of the door, confusion-filled gaze meeting her curious one. 

“You this obsessed.” 

“I am not obsessed,” you glared, finding your chest to tighten in discomfort at the thought. 

“Fine. I just mean, usually you don’t care. You never have, and somehow he has you sweating and unable to speak coherently.” 

“It’s not like that.” 

“Okay, well, whatever it’s like, it’s cute,” she laughed, it only getting louder as you bumped her side with your own, almost begging for her to stop. “You’ve never acted like this over a guy.”

“Are we going to fucking stand out here all night, or are we going to go inside?” you asked rather flatly, not caring how it sounded as long as it meant she would stop staring at you the way that she was. 

She only smirked, nothing else left to say as your face said at all. The gentle blush on your cheeks, the way you were trying to avoid eye contact, most of your confidence waning as you stood there, outside of that apartment door. 

Shrugging, she finally reached for the doorknob and opened the door with ease. The second the door was cracked, the music became increasingly louder, enough to make you cringe at the way the bass echoed in your ears. Usually, you welcomed it; the sound, the smell of cigarettes and marijuana, the stickiness on the floors by the end of the night, the way you always stumbled your way back to your apartment only a few feet away. It was a life you had gotten used to, and yet you dreaded it all that night. 

Iris stepped in with ease, and you followed, inhaling as you did with the smell of cigarettes hitting you straight in the face. Even with the windows open, allowing the winter air to bask in the room, it wasn’t enough to completely drown out the smell. I

t was dark in the apartment, all but the LED lights that hung up around the ceiling, paired with a spinning disco ball on the coffee table, which Harrison swore by every single time. 

There was maybe a total of ten people in the room so far, but you knew it wouldn’t be this easy to walk through by the end of the night. As soon as the door was shut behind you, concealing you both inside, it was like he had known she was there. All of a sudden, you heard Harrison’s loud voice from across the room, him standing from where he was leaning against his sound system. 

“Ah, you guys made it!” Harrison strode over in a pair of baggy jeans and a graphic t-shirt, his arms immediately finding Iris’ hips, giving away that he had already been drinking for a bit. “You’re later than I thought you were going to be.” 

“I texted you,” she mumbled, chuckling lightly. 

“I know, but…” his voice trailed off slightly, and his bluish-green eyes found your frame still almost pressed against the front door, and it was like he had connected the dots. “Y/N.” 

“Harrison, hi,” you smiled sheepishly while also trying to peer around him to the rest of the people that filled the living room, hoping but equally dreading catching sight of a head of short curls. 

“What, you didn’t want to come tonight?” 

He was joking, he always was, as he spun Iris around so her back was pressed to his front. You laughed, it so fake as you tried to hide it all but your roommate could see through you easily. “What? No. You're a funny guy, you know that? We always come to your parties.” 

“Yeah, but you’re usually one of the first ones here.” 

“Relax,” you rolled your eyes, “Clearly, we’re still here early enough. Great turnout.” 

“There are more people coming, asshole,” he laughed, pulling his hat by the brim down further across his forehead, concealing his blonde short, cropped hair.

“Oh yeah? Anyone worth talking to?” 

“You told her about the guys from my soccer team, didn’t you?” that question was directed down towards Iris, who suddenly peered up at her non-boyfriend boyfriend with both guilt and humor. 

“What?” she shrugged. 

His eyes found yours again, that playful look now filling yours, “They’ll be here in about an hour or so. Just can you try not to screw them over?” 

“Me?” you feigned a laugh, “I could never. How do I look, though? Something they would be interested in?” 

Doing almost a little curtsy with your Converse squeaking against their hardwood floor, you turned after a moment. Noting the baggy jeans and the black sheer tube top, Harrison laughed almost in disbelief but could only look over his shoulder towards his own roommate, who sat in the middle of their couch, legs sprawled out, head dipped back as he snubbed out the cigarette that was in between his fingers. “Hm, you know you could go ask Anakin? He has expensive taste.” 

You felt yourself freeze, hating the way they both laughed, equally looking back into the room. Following their gaze, you stiffened further as you found him, sure to be the only thing that you would focus on for the rest of the night. Especially if he were to be sitting that way for most of it. You felt like a deer in headlights as you peered over Harrison’s shoulder, eyes trailing over the way his legs were spread wide, his back leaned into the couch, and his head tilted back as he blew out rings of smoke. 

He wore dark jeans and a black knit-long sleeve; underneath the collar, his white t-shirt poked out. His hair was pushed back out of his face, and the curls along his neck and around his ears seemed perfect even in the dark. 

He would be the death of you.

Your mouth was dry, and suddenly, your fresh sarcasm was gone as he sat up against the couch, his stare almost splitting through the room to find the three of you. His expression was unreadable, almost cold, and you hated the way they found yours immediately.  

You looked away, aware of the way the other two were intently making notes about the interaction. Side-stepping into the kitchen out of eye-sight from the roommate, you glared back at Harrison, “I hate you.” 

“Nah, you don’t.” 

“I thought you said you were going to make me a shot when I got here.” 

“What do you want?” Harrison asked, his arms dropping around Iris, instead allowing his hand to find a place along her back, guiding her to follow him into the kitchen. 

“The strongest thing you got,” you suggested peering up at the masses of liquor upon the cabinets, a devilish look appearing in your eyes as you smiled innocently back at the man. 

He sighed that familiar Harrison sigh, the one where he knew there would be no stopping you that night, not as you came over with a box full of seltzers and a large handle of tequila. You were looking for trouble or perhaps something to ease the noise into nothing but silence within your mind. Either way, he couldn’t tell, and though Iris was looking at him, almost afraid to let him give you the shot that would start a very long night, she just shrugged anyway. 

A long night it would become. 

By the time it was eleven-thirty, the apartment was full of many familiar faces, the typicals you saw at almost every party, and then masses of the very unfamiliar. Some of them including Harrison’s very cute and very athletically-built soccer teammates. It had become your mission to catch at least one of their eyes quickly as if to avoid the looming stare from across the room that you were sure would have you dripping humiliatingly if you focused on him too long. 

When he moved, you did too. Further away, it seemed, anything to keep your distance, almost afraid of what you could say if given the chance to. The alcohol wasn’t enough because just knowing he was in the same apartment had you unable to think about anything or anyone else. Even when you were four seltzers deep and a quarter of the way through with the concoction that had become of your water bottle, Anakin Skywalker was all you could think about. 

It had been hours, hours of dancing awkwardly, avoiding the cards table, and yet you felt unaccomplished with the night. The ache between your legs was enough proof as it was, but you knew that couldn’t be taken care of by anyone unless it was Anakin. Even as the lanky soccer player with fluffy brown hair and bright eyes practically had you concealed against the wall in the living room, your mind was completely inept at what he was saying. 

He was hot, relatively, nothing like Anakin, but enough that you would have slept with him. His hands were ghosting over your waist, one tickling the bare skin above your jeans, the other leaning against the wall, caging you in against his warm frame. His eyes were hooded, a look in them you knew all too well, but one you were sure you wouldn’t act on. 

“You know, Harrison warned me about you,” he joked, it sounding so deep that his name somehow slipped from your mind, unable to be retrieved. 

Your lips were wrapped around the straw of your drink, eyes peering up at his through your lashes, and you couldn’t help but smile, almost like a tantalizing forbidden fruit. “Really? Is that so? And do you think you should have listened to him?” 

“No, not at all. That’s the funny part, I guess. Told me you would probably have your pick of us for the night.” 

Your smile lessened slightly as a discomfort appeared front and center within your chest. You flirted. That wasn’t something you would deny, but the way he was putting it made you feel like you were other girls that they talked to. Ready to offer themselves like a consolation prize by spreading their legs just to never be spoken to again. You flirted, but you never really gave them what they wanted, and that’s why Harrison was cautious about bringing new guys around. They would chase after something they’d never get, and you would string them along as a form of entertainment. Or that’s what he thought. 

It never had been like that, not even as guys started to notice you freshman year of college. It was never supposed to be a game but rather something else entirely. 

You shifted back towards the wall, eyes dropping to your cup, the way it was nearly empty, the last few drops clinging to the bottom of the glass. The guy spoke again, and you found your brows furrowing in discomfort. “I’m just glad it was me if I’m being honest.”

They always thought that way. That it was them. That they were something special, as if worthy of your attention, but it never was about them. 

You sighed, head falling back against the wall as his hand rose along your bare skin, almost inching to move up and under your shirt. A second of dissociation left you looking over his shoulder at the crowd of people around you, filling the living room to be full and packed. You scanned their faces trying to find anything that you knew could ground you. 

Instead, there was only one thing, one person, and it made it all so much worse. 

Peering through the room within the darkness of flashing vibrant lights and smoke, you somehow found him, only a few feet away or so. At the sight, it was almost like your legs were going to give out from beneath you. He would never not have an effect on you. It didn’t matter how stupid you felt, how humiliating it was. Inevitably, Anakin Skywalker would always have you wrapped around his finger. 

He was leaning against the wall near the sound system, surrounded by Harrison and a few of their other guy friends. His arms were crossed over his chest, arms bulging slightly under the material of his shirt. Smoke billowed around the group from cigarettes, vapes, and joints alike, yet his hands were empty. He wasn’t listening to anything they were saying. He couldn’t have been because, just as quickly as you found him, he was already peering over at you. 

His blue eyes, almost as sharp as steel as they traced your frame, pressed up against the wall under the soccer player, your drink cradled close to your chest. You almost physically shuddered, having not expected it, not in the slightest. His lips were pulled into a fine line, brows slightly furrowed in a way that made you want to ease the small wrinkle, pulling every frustration clean from his body. 

Yet you felt intimidated because, after all, it was a look that was directed at you. One that often wasn’t. 

His expression barely flickered or faltered, even as your eyes so clearly locked with his. Instead, he could only lift a single brow in your direction in interest. It was like a challenge, almost as if he was daring you to do something you would regret, something he wouldn’t like. 

“Hey,” the guy’s voice broke through your facade, a gentle mumble as his hand squeezed your hip. The feeling brought your eyes to flicker back to him but only for a second before you were glancing back at Anakin. “Are you listening?” 

You weren’t. Instead too distracted by the man across the room, whose jaw had suddenly tightened. 

“I… uh, need to get another drink,” you forced a smile, voice gentle as you gestured to the empty cup. 

“Do you want me to get it?” he asked then, yelling over the music, and you hated the way it made you feel. 

“No, that’s okay. I’ll be right back,” you replied, almost like a false promise, as you slipped under his arm, separating his frame from yours completely, and with it, a weight seemed to dissipate. The ability to breathe suddenly a grace you didn’t know you were missing. 

It was like you could feel his eyes following your frame. The coldness that was his blue orbs as you swerved your way through the crowd of people, bumping into them as you went, recognizing very few. Iris had been gone from your side for almost an hour, somehow slipping away with Harrison’s cousin to talk about probably Harrison. You had been left to fend for yourself, which was nothing new. Something you had done the whole semester prior, and yet it was the first time, you couldn’t stand the thought. 

Even as the alcohol had left you swaying, vision slightly blurred, and mind a slurring mess, there wasn’t much comfort in the feeling. You managed to squeeze you were way to the kitchen, the music enough to have your ears echoing. Sighing, you found only a few people littered throughout, mixing new drinks or leaning against the countertops to speak too closely. It would be too good to be true to find it empty.

Slipping into the kitchen, which seemed nearly as dark as the rest of the apartment, you found the corner of the countertop where you had been taking alcohol from all night. Harrison had been kind enough to offer you something better than what you had mixed, and it had become the thing you began to drink as soon as your seltzers were long since chugged. Reaching for the liquor bottle, you uncapped it and began to pour, heavier than you had been before. Mixing the remainder of the lemonade in, you picked it up, already reading for the strong sip. 

“How many of those have you had?” 

The voice was low but loud as it spoke over the music. Scaring you, you turned around on your heels quickly, the drink nearly spilling all over you if it wasn’t for his hand that came to grasp the cup, part of his palm covering your own. It was warm. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, the only vocal response to how close he was and all of a sudden. 

“Careful,” Anakin chuckled, taking the drink from your hand, to which you pouted in dismay, hating how he pulled it closer to himself. 

You stared, expression wary as he towered over you, closer than he ever had before, his eyes tracing the startled look as if he were the predator cornering his prey. His stare flickered following the way your chest rose and fell, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth as you stared up at him, eyes slightly glassed over from the amount of alcohol you had. 

God, you hated him. You really did as he stared down at you, smirking the way he was, only a few inches away. If you leaned closer, your chest would press against his, and at the thought, you had to squeeze your legs shut, trying to keep as much space between the two of you as you pressed yourself back against the countertop. 

A glint appeared as he noticed the way you shifted with discomfort, something he knew wasn’t a common occurrence with you. Tilting his head innocently, he glanced down at your drink, which now was in his grasp, a teasing tone emitting, “You never answered my question. How many of these have you had?” 

You shrugged, trying to wipe off the look on your face as if you could picture it was anyone else in front of you. “I don’t know. A few.” 

“How many is a few?” he demanded, eyes tracing the way you swayed on your feet, almost like he could know your head was spinning, nearly seeing two of him. 

“You want a number?” you laughed, thinking he was joking. 

His expression never faltered, “Yes.” 

“Three, maybe four, I don’t know.” 

He hummed, almost like he was dissatisfied with the answer. Instead of offering the drink back to you, he brought it closer to himself, that serious look never disappearing. “You should be done for the night.” 

“Really?” you mused, a single brow raising at his tone. 

“Yeah, in fact, I’ll finish this one off for you. Maybe try a water there, Y/L/N,” he said, bringing the cup to his lips, covering where your lipstick stains had been.

He took a sip, and you felt your blood boil out of both annoyance and something else. He wasn’t even touching you, and yet there was more of a reaction out of you than earlier when the soccer player had his hands inching up your shirt. It seemed he knew that too, and it was infuriating. 

“Anakin!” 

“By the way, your flavor of the night is looking for you. I think I saw him over by the bathroom where Iris was waiting. I’m sure he was asking about you.” 

“You know what,” you said then, raising your hands up in the air, an almost look of acceptance on your face as you slipped out from under his frame you hadn’t realized had gotten so close, “Fine.” 

With that, you walked away out of the kitchen, palm empty of your drink and heart heavy by the man who had taken it so easily from you. It was like taking candy from a baby, you almost offered it willingly if it meant getting a few more seconds being pressed close to him, his blue eyes tracing your drunken frame. 

He had gotten you then. He was under your skin, had practically dug himself a hole, and you knew you couldn’t; not willingly go find Harrison’s teammate just to think about someone else all night. How much further could you even go than flirting? You usually wouldn’t, and you definitely couldn’t, not that night, not in that state, not when Anakin Skywalker flashed through your mind on repeat, feeding the worst desires. 

The apartment was hot, still messy, lingering with stenches of alcohol, weed, and cigarettes. It was like all of the sweaty bodies were still gathered within their living room when really it was nearly three a.m., most of the lights were turned off, and the only thing that could be seen was Harrison and Iris slightly tangled on the couch. Anakin was slumped over on their second couch, now in a pair of sweatpants that hung loosely off his frame and dark long sleeve. His head lulled to the side as he stared at the TV in front of him, unable to really get comfortable on the couch with the warmth of the room. 

Unable to open the window due to them being almost frozen shut, he sat up, his feet meeting the floor. He wanted to sleep. It was the only thing he could think about; hoping it would be enough to quiet the thoughts along with the twitch of his dick. But he couldn’t, not as he felt the sweat along his eyebrow and the smell that seemed to not dissipate even long after he thought he had gotten used to it. 

“Fuck, it still smells.” 

“Well, I don’t know, maybe open the door, see if it airs out in the hallway,” Harrison said, his words slurring slightly, his eyes narrowing in tiredness. 

Anakin became deadpan then, “The door? You have got to be fucking kidding me.” 

“Or not. Whatever.” 

“Well, do we have a fan or something?” Anakin offered, standing from the couch in the darkness, stretching his arms up and over his head, “I had one, but I can’t remember the last time I saw mine or even used it.”

Harrison peered up at his roommate, a shy smile on his face seeming oblivious or rather uncaring of the problem at hand, too focused on the feeling of Iris’ head resting along his collarbone. It was then the girl perked up, her eyes shifting away from the TV and the creepy murder documentary she had recommended. 

Her blonde hair peeked up from the couch, and she chuckled lightly at the realization, “That’s because we have it.” 

“What do you mean we?” Anakin replied, brows raising slightly in interest. 

“Y/N and I…” she said carefully, “Harrison let us borrow it at the beginning of the semester when our AC system gave out. I’m pretty sure we forgot to give it back. It’s in our linen closet.” 

He stared down at her, somehow at a loss of what to say or if that meant she was willing to get up and give it to him then or expected him to wait. Before he could decide, she reached the coffee table and picked up her keys before tossing them to Anakin. 

“Here. Take my keys, you can go grab it.” 

Catching them, he stared down at it on the brass key ring, the very key that led to your apartment. An apartment you very much could have been in fucking around with one of the new guys’ Harrison had introduced you to. Anakin’s hand tightened around the keyset at the thought, a certain discomfort appearing at even the picture he could conjure up. The guy had been practically all over you all night, and you hadn’t done anything to reject his advances. Instead, you let them happen all while a set of eyes were staring at you from across the room. 

“I… uh.” 

“Relax,” she laughed, “Y/N said she was going to shower and go to bed. You’re not going to run into any naked soccer players fleeing from her bedroom.” 

“Funny,” Anakin glared, a fake smile appearing as he noticed the familiar glint that had appeared on his roommate’s face. Not ready for the constant teasing, he stepped out of the living room towards the front door. 

Walking out, he barely processed the sound of the door closing behind him, too focused on the key in his hand. It took less than a minute when he came face to face with the dark door. Tall with gold brass located in the middle displaying just how it differed from all the rest — what it meant. The numbers he thought about more often than he should. 

802. 

Fuck. He thought about it too much, so much so it felt easy to let the key slide into the hole and unlock the door with a mere turn of his wrist. Stepping through the threshold, the first thing he noticed was how refreshing it felt compared to the smell of his apartment. It was cooler in there, with a smell of almost clean laundry and vanilla. He couldn’t help but wonder if the whole apartment smelled that way or if somehow your room was different. 

The floors matched the ones in his dark paneling that showed all of the dirt that fell on them. There were a few entrance rugs he couldn’t see much in the dark, as well as the entrance to the kitchen. He wanted to look around, turn on a light to take it all in, but he couldn’t, not with you only a few doors away, possibly naked and in the shower. He felt so gross about it, that he cared so much. 

Especially as your underwear sat in the top drawer of his dresser. He had been contemplating about it all night, just how he could bring it up or return it to you. But he wasn’t sure the best approach without it coming off as disgusting. If he told Iris, she would never look at him the same, probably confused why he had them at all. Harrison would only make jokes, almost applauding Anakin, just to take Iris’ side when he tried to pass them off to her. And you, he couldn’t even think about what your reaction might look like upon finding out that he had your underwear, had them all day. 

Moving further into the apartment, he entered the vast hallway just as Iris had explained, eyes locating in the dark the few doorways that appeared. With his flashlight on, he was able to find it halfway down the hall on the left. Just as he opened the door, though, he took notice of the dim light a door down, a purple hue peeking out from it that was left cracked open. With the familiar sound of The Weekend, Anakin smirked as he picked his way through the linen closet. 

There on the top shelf was his fan. 

Grabbing it, he shut the linen closet, but halted in front of the door, a new sound grabbing his attention. A breathy sigh, almost like a huff of frustration. His shoulders stiffened slightly, stomach tightening at the sound alone. As another noise slipped, but much louder paired with the gentle lull of a vibration, Anakin knew for sure. Knew that you were getting yourself off, and he couldn’t ignore just how pretty it sounded. 

It was too much, so he stepped away from your door towards the other end of the hallway, but he had only made it two steps before he felt himself stop. 

“Ani…” The whimper was not quiet, and he felt his jaw tighten at the way the syllables formed on your lips. 

The sounds were louder, your moan breathtaking. 

Anakin’s hand cupped his dick, your voice going straight to it. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, but they snapped back open as another one echoed out from your room, this one a little more desperate. 

“Oh, Anakin.” 

He didn’t know how he didn’t drop that fucking fan. Wasn’t sure if it would slip through his fingers or if he would throw it on purpose, anything to make his presence known. Anything to make the sounds continue but due to his fingers rather than your own. He had never felt such pain then at that moment as he forced himself to walk away, the sounds of you undoing yourself deliberately with his name breaking apart across your tongue. 

There wasn’t a doubt then anymore. Not a single ounce of question. 

It seemed that was enough to know. Enough to have figured out just exactly what to do with the red lacy underwear that sat tucked into the top drawer of his dresser.

“No, fuck, where is it?”

The sound of your voice grumbling from your room droned out into the hallway. Your hands were shoved into the bottom of your dresser drawer, rummaging through the clean laundry you had folded the day before. The sole piece of clothing you were looking for was nowhere in sight. As soon as you hadn’t found it near the top when you had started getting ready for your date, you felt your chest tighten. You groaned loudly, arms balancing along your knees as you moved to find it not hidden somewhere in your laundry basket either. 

“Y/N/N, I’m going to head to work,” Iris poked her head inside, but her voice trailed off at the sight of you crouched in the middle of the room, tearing apart your dresser drawers. “What are you doing?” 

“I can’t find them,” you mumbled out. 

“Find what?” 

You sighed, almost hesitant to even say it out loud, “My panties. The red ones.” 

“The ones with lace?” she asked, for clarification, her brows raising in interest. 

“Yes, I washed them yesterday, I swear.”

“Don’t you have your date tonight?” she asked, eyes looking around the room, spotting the few outfits you had laid out across your bed and the mounds of makeup and hair products spread out at your vanity. “The one with Harrison’s teammate?” 

“Yeah, Cole.” 

At the name, a flash of recognition formed across Iris’ face. It was the same guy you had been with most of the night before at the party, practically pressed up against a wall as he eye fucked you for most of the night. By the end of it, you were so drunk he hadn’t even gotten a kiss out of you, only your number. He texted you that morning about going out for drinks and dinner. You were hesitant at first, almost inclined to say no, but then something else made you change your mind. Perhaps the sight from the night before of the smirk that laced over Anakin’s face as he teased you about Cole. No inclination at all that it bothered him, the sight of you pressed up against someone else. It was annoying, so annoying, that you couldn’t help but say yes to Cole for a date. 

What else were you going to do? 

Anakin Skywalker barely spoke to you and noticed your presence. It was a joke. All of it. 

Iris smiled smugly, then down at you as you continued to search through the dresser drawer. “And you need your red lacy panties for a first date?” 

“I mean, I don’t need them, just want them, you know, in case.” 

“Who are you right now?” she laughed, the sound bringing your attention away from your underwear drawer. Her arms were crossed over her chest, that smile still evident as a hint of amusement flashed across her eyes. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You don’t usually think about sleeping with a guy until at least the fourth or fifth date. The last time you were talking to someone, you made him hold out for the sixth date just to ask him to leave after twenty minutes of making out. And you want to wear your sex underwear on the first date?”

“I’m not a prude, you know,” you laughed too, your anxiety easing slightly even though your favorite underwear was still missing. 

“I never said you were. I’m just saying, you’re different. That’s all.” 

“Is that such a bad thing?” 

She shook her head, almost a sense of pride appearing, “No. Not at all. Anyway, I should go.” 

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” you replied over your shoulder, your attention going back to the clothes scattered around you. 

“Yeah, have fun on your date. I can’t wait to hear how it goes. Oh, and maybe try looking in the laundry room.” 

You cringed almost at the thought that they had somehow been left in there overnight, all while other people were coming in and out to do their laundry, “Right.”

Standing from your bedroom floor, you looked around the room one more time before inevitably giving up. Instead, you slid on a pair of shoes, and left the apartment, the door closing and echoing behind you. Making your way down the hall, you passed the guys’ door and the memories from the night before flashed again in your head. Anakin taking your drink, cutting you off from anything for the rest of the night. You wish you wouldn’t have listened and continued to sneak some. You didn’t have to listen to him at all. That was the funniest part, and you did it anyway. 

Entering the laundry room, the automatic lights clicked on upon your entrance illuminating the room in cascades of bright LEDs. It was warm, just like it usually was when someone was doing their laundry. The familiar rumble of the dryer and washers caught your attention. The sound of it clouded your thoughts as you approached the washer and dryer you had been using the day before. 

With one simple open of the stainless steel washer, you found it empty of any sort of clothing. You sighed, the annoyance deepening at the thought of having lost them. Expensive underwear you had bought on your trip to France over the summer. A pair Iris had to convince you to buy because you typically weren’t one for buying sexy underwear. It was the pair that opened the vault for you, leading you to not only buy so many more since then but a string of memories confined to that pair of lace, all from the few pairs of hands that had slid them down your legs with ease late into the night. 

It was your favorite pair of underwear. 

The only pair you felt like wearing on nights when you knew inevitably they would end up on someone’s floor. 

“Fuck,” you cursed again lowly as you stepped over to the dryer you had used. 

Sure enough, as you opened and closed it, you found it just as empty as the other machine you had checked. Your stomach dropped at the thought, and it had come to desperate measures as you crouched down near the machines and began looking around them on the floor. 

It was not your proudest moment, and that only became clear as it only lasted around thirty seconds when you heard the door open, paired with a voice you were dreading to have to face anytime soon. 

“What are you doing?” 

Your eyes closed, your breath falling short in your throat. Sighing, you stood from where you were crouched along the floor, surely giving him a show in the shorts you had been wearing since your shower that afternoon. You wouldn’t turn to face him, not if it meant seeing some sort of teasing look appear. It was embarrassing enough. Instead, you pressed yourself closer to the dryer, peering over the back of it, hoping just maybe the red lace would appear behind it. 

“I am looking for something.” 

Anakin chuckled, subtly tracing the curve of your ass through your pajama shorts, his fingers curling around the silky material in his pocket. “What?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Well, maybe if you told me, I could help,” he offered, and at that, you froze. 

Turning around slowly, you faced him, heart picking up at the sight of him alone. He looked just as fine as he had the night before, maybe even a little bit more. He wore jeans, ones that were loose around his frame, paired with a hoodie, hiding away the definition of his torso you craved to see after so long. His hair was slightly damp, leaving a ringlet curl along his forehead. It was slightly shorter, too, the back especially, meaning he had gotten a haircut. You had thought you would be sad when he had finally done it, cut the small curls that lay along the back of his neck, but now that he had, you couldn’t help but stare, knees practically giving out at how good he truly looked. 

Sure enough, that smirk was plastered along his face, paired with a glint you knew all too well. 

“Help? You want to help me?” 

He shrugged, “It could maybe make it go faster. You look like you need to be somewhere.” 

It was the most he had ever said to you. The last two days had crossed every line that had been between the two of you over the past four months of knowing one another. This was it. The past two days of his intimidating stares and forceful words.

Placing your hands on your hips, you raised a brow over at him interest, “And why would you think that?” 

He stepped closer, and that alone had your chest rattling and hands practically shaking. He was so tall, so breathtaking, and you had wanted him for so long, so badly, it had consumed you. Just the sight of him as he stood before you, looming over your frame, had your core twitching, aching already, and he hadn’t even touched you. There was the reality that he probably wouldn’t. 

His tongue clicked along the roof of his mouth, his blue orbs falling to trace over your bare legs, freshly tanned, smooth, up to the short baby tee that hugged your frame; no bra. You looked as if you were ready to settle in for the night, but he knew better. 

“You did your makeup,” he said, observingly, “And you look as if you put something in your hair. Maybe, styled it for someone. You got a hot date or something?” 

Your mouth was dry, and you had to look away, guilt appearing that you would be with another man that night, all while you would probably be thinking about him. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” 

“So, that’s a yes,” he chuckled, the deep sound making your legs clench slightly. “Harrison’s teammate from last night? I could see him asking you out just to get in your pants.” 

“Stop,” you fumed, brows furrowing in annoyance, arms crossing over your chest, “Why does it matter?” 

“It doesn’t. So, what are we looking for Y/L/N? What’s going to make you late for this dick appointment?” 

“You know what. Forget it. I can find it myself.” 

“No, no, come on, now. I’m just trying to be helpful,” he smiled, that smirk widening, almost getting off at the sight of your pout and knitted brows. “Seems like you might need it? So, what a top? A bra, maybe, something he’ll want to pull off of you later.” 

“Anakin,” you warned as he took a step closer, his head tilting antagonizingly, taking in how your chest rose and fell nervously. There was still a foot or so between you and yet you couldn’t help but step back until you were up against the dryer, the warmth of it felt through your shorts. 

“Or is it not either of those things? No. Can’t be,” he paused, voice trailing off as his stare flickered down to your lips, “Underwear?” 

Your lips parted in shock, stomach turning at the way it sounded like he was trying to torture you with his presence. 

“So that’s it? Panties, huh? Must be some nice fucking ones if they have you bent over in the laundry room looking for them. What do they look like? I’m sure I can find them.” 

You couldn’t form words, not as he taunted you, even from so far away. Not as his hands were shoved in the pockets of his pants, the most casual look about him. He alluded to sex just from how he looked, and that was hard enough, but him standing in front of you, lips glistening from his saliva, spouting these things at you, they might as well have been the dirtiest things a guy has ever said. They had you wet. You knew they did, and it had you shrinking in humiliation. Humiliation that he could say your name alone, and it would have you so pent up to the point of reaching for that familiar blue vibrator on your bedside table, desperately trying to relieve the tension he built up inside of you. 

Inhaling, you tried to relax. “They’re lace.” 

“Okay. See-through?” he asked, unable to say it with a straight face. 

“Yes.” The word was so quiet coming from your lips, almost like a whisper. 

The tip of his tongue traced over the top set of his teeth, highlighting his cuspids you wanted more than anything to bite into your neck. All while his hand dug between your legs. The thought fell away though at his next words, them enough to have your heart stop altogether. 

“They wouldn’t be red by chance, are they?” 

Your mouth fell open in shock, and for a second, you thought he was going to take hold of your lower lip to close it, anything to touch you, but he didn’t. Why would he? With widened eyes and that knitted expression forming once again across your face, you were silent as you watched his hand appear from his pocket, that all too familiar red color appearing before your eyes. 

“Or something like these, right?” he held them out on his index finger, the expensive material from France staring back at you, “Fuck, I didn’t expect it, Y/L/N. That you could own a pair like this.” 

Your face felt warm, annoyed, and embarrassed by his taunt. Enough that you reached forward to pluck them from his hand, but he pulled his hand back further to keep you from taking hold of them. 

“Anakin,” you warned, hand out stretched. 

“You know, you should pay closer attention when you do your laundry. Some creep in the building could have picked them up instead of me. Who knows what would have happened to them then.” 

It was like he could see the steam coming out of your ears, the heat on your face that he somehow could see even past your makeup. He was frustrating you, and he could do it all day, every day, he decided. 

“Give them to me.” 

“Or what?” he quipped, “Tell me why I should? Just so some guy can take them off of you later. Some guy you don’t even want to fuck you.” 

“Stop this,” you whispered, it almost sounding like a plea as you tried to reach for the underwear again, but as you did, he pulled his hand away. This time, going as far as to stuff them into the back pocket of his jeans. You groaned in annoyance at the sight. “You’re being an asshole.” 

“And you’re a fucking liar,” he taunted, stepping closer again. This time until he was no more than a few inches away. Your body was fully pressed against the dryer then, it hot along the skin on the back of your thighs. “So admit it.” 

“Admit what?” 

He leaned closer, his lips nearly tracing the shell of your ear, all while his hands moved up, fingers brushing across your bare ribs so softly it hadn’t felt real. They slipped away, instead pressing along the dryer behind you that was still running. He had you caged in, his chest warm against yours. 

“That you want this. That you want me.” 

A breathy sigh fell away, your lips practically trembling as all of the hair on your body seemed to stand straight up. 

He continued, “You say I’m the asshole but you’re the one who walks around doing your laundry in nothing but a skimpy shirt. You fucking want me to see you like that, don’t you? Like this? You want to tempt me. But that’s the thing isn’t it? You only act like a whore if it means getting my attention. Isn’t that right?” 

“Anakin…” his name almost sounding like a moan as it slipped, body leaning further into his involuntarily. 

“Say it, Y/N. Fucking say it, and I’m yours.” 

You sighed, the most hopeless sound because he had you. He always did. How was it happening? You weren’t sure, but it was all that mattered. “Fine, I want you.” 

He smiled a grin that was so full of himself as he reached forward, his hand gripping your jaw so firmly in his hand. It happened so quick, then, the feeling of him pulling you forward. It was almost like you could have gotten whiplash as his lips consumed you, enveloping you in what could only be described as pure sin. Without a moment to even feel them on yours, his tongue was parting your lips, slipping in without you giving much of a fight. A moan was ripped free from your throat as he branded you over and over, his taste coated along your tongue, faintly tasting of mint gum and cigarettes. 

Somehow it wasn’t anything you thought it would be like. It was better, intangible, unable to fully grasp until it was happening, leaving you to spin, to drip with need, and in a way, begging for penance. His body collided with yours, his other hand roughly grabbing your hip, slamming you further into the dryer, the vibration of it catching your attention as he did so. As his knee parted your legs, you twitched, the feeling of his clothed knee too much as he pressed it up against your core. 

Gasping, your hands shot forward, pushing at his chest. It was enough for his lips to part from yours, with a string of his saliva pooling around the corners of your lips. “Wait, not here.” 

You looked around the empty laundry room, suddenly awfully aware of the possibility for anyone to walk in. Especially those who had their laundry going in the machines. 

He chuckled, the sound making your legs clench again, but this time around, his knee stood in the way. He smirked at the sight, his voice lowering, “Yes, here.” 

You couldn’t deny how it had made you feel, the dominance doing something to you. So much so that you relaxed under his hooded eyes, giving in once again. It was enough of an answer for him as he immediately went to your cotton shorts, yanking them down from your hips. The material loosened and pooled around your feet, leaving you in nothing but the black pair of soft panties you had slipped on after your shower. 

“Not red,” he chuckled, hands ghosting along your ribs, thumbs tempting to brush along your nipples through the material of your shirt, “But fuck are they still pretty.” 

His knee pressed up further against the material, the thin material that was soaked to the point that he was risking having a stain left when he pulled it away. You whimpered at the feeling, desperate for any relief you hadn’t been able to get since you laid eyes on him for the first time. You couldn’t help but sink down on him, the feeling sending a shock through your core and another sound to fall from your blissfully kissed lips. 

He took in the sight, not caring who saw. Not if it meant he had his claim on you, that everyone knew. That they all were aware of how fucking obsessed you were, with him, his cock, that you would be willing to get caught. With lidded eyes just as desperate for you as you were for him, he let his fingers trace down your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake as he found the waistband of your underwear. Your chest tightened again in anticipation, as his fingers slid down further until they were pressed along the front of it, able to feel the wetness that had soaked all the way through. 

His ego was huge at that point, almost feeling accomplished by his handy work. His thumb found the bundle of nerves with ease as if this hadn’t been his first time with you, but rather had memorized your body, knew just how exactly to get you to come undone. Pressing down, he bit down on his bottom lip, watching as your head lulled back, a desperate sound-emitting. 

He couldn’t take it then, and neither could you. When he pulled away, you gasped in protest, ready to glare at him, but that inclination disappeared as he reached for the button of his jeans. You were practically drooling as it popped, followed by the sound of the zipper being yanked down. Your chest was rising and falling, so much anticipation forming along your skin in the form of sweat, the spot between your legs throbbing to the point of it almost being painful. 

You were ready to beg. If he wasted any more time, you would. You didn’t care how desperate and defiling it felt then because if it were any other man, you wouldn’t, but for him, you would. You would over and over if it meant it would lead to this. Your breath hitched as he reached for the waistline of his boxers, sliding them down just enough to release his dick from the confines of the material. 

Fuck, even his dick was perfect. 

The sight of it had you nearly collapsing, completely acting like an idiot just at the sight. Who knew all it took was one cock to have you completely silent, lost for words. It had never happened, never thought it could, until him. It was the way it erected out, almost touching the material of his hoodie, red, already slick with precum. A world where he wanted you back seemed so implausible, and yet the sight of that alone could have had you cumming on the spot. 

“Is this okay?” he asked, wrapping one of his hands around the base of it, he hissed slightly at the contact. 

“Anakin, fuck just, please,” you whimpered further, and you hated how it sounded across your tongue, but that thought disappeared quickly as he moved closer. 

With one hand pushing your underwear to the side, the other aided his dick in sliding in between your folds. It was only the tip, and yet at the feeling, you were a mess. A mess of chewing on your lower lip, just desperately wishing for this feeling to never end. If you could have this for the rest of your life every day, you would. The feeling of him over and over again would be a mantra you would strive for if it always felt like this. 

Your walls were tight around him, and both being so impatient, he thrust forward, bottoming out quickly. A small noise fell from your lips at the feeling of his tip colliding deeply inside, your walls tightening, sucking him in perfectly. 

“Ah, fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, his voice enough to make you clench again, stomach fluttering as his forehead softly met yours. 

There was a second, a brief moment where neither of you moved. It was only heavy breathing accompanied by the sounds of the dryers, and you knew it was equally the nastiest but most perfect moment of your life. Then with his lips collapsing on yours once again, he began to move. Pulling out, he trusted back in, rocking his hips against yours. He swore under his breath, dick twitching though he had barely even started. With his lips claiming yours over and over, his hand trailed up along the side of your leg, taking hold of your knee to hike it up along his waist. At the new feeling, the stretch, paired with his dick still prodding, you moaned, the sound loud, louder than you anticipated it to be. 

He laughed, the sound vibrating against your chest. It only got worse as his other hand slipped down in between your bodies locating your clit with ease through your underwear. Pulling out all the way, he shoved himself all the way back in, eliciting sounds you didn’t know you could even derive. Your body arched into his, legs already like jelly as his thumb circled the bundle of nerves slowly, almost too slowly. The feeling of the soft fabric of the underwear only added more friction and you were spiraling at how quickly your pussy tightened around his length. 

He grunted, a string of curse words slipping as he harshly pinned your body back against the dryer, the vibration of the machine only heightening it all further. You wouldn’t last long, you knew that, practically able to hear your heart in your ears, stomach clenching with that familiar knot. Your hands reached out to grip his shoulders, the material of his hoodie curling under your fingers as you held onto him so tightly as if you were trying to mold the two of your bodies into one. 

Moving so quickly at that point, he was reaching that very spot inside you couldn’t do yourself, and it had your head spinning, chest rising and falling, as you desperately craved the high more than even drugs or alcohol. 

“Say my name, baby,” he pleaded then, sounding so whiny as his blue eyes met yours. “Come on. Say it. Say it like you do when you’re laying in bed, hand going to fucking work in between your legs.” 

Sweat gathered along his brow, while the tops of his cheeks were staining red. The sound of the pet name had you almost crying, leg tightening around his waist, as every part of your body seemed lit on fire. 

“Anakin,” you moaned softly. 

“No,” he demanded glaring down at you, “Not like that.” 

He began to speed up his assault on your clit, and you could barely stand at that point, body almost leaning completely back on the dryer. That was enough to get what he wanted as his name began to spill from your mouth louder than it ever had before. 

He swore again, his grunts filling your ears as his palm tightened around your hip. He was moving so quickly, sliding in and out, you could feel your wetness dripping down your inner thighs, the sounds so loud in your ears. His thumb never faltered or stopped as he pulled all the way out and then back in, wanting you to take him in inch by inch. Before you had even realized it, your walls were tightening around him, your stomach clenched, eyes squeezed shut like you were chasing stars. 

That feeling snapped, a lull, and you were a moaning mess as you held onto him, knowing you couldn’t stand on your own. Fingers digging deeply into his shoulders, body relaxing slightly while the orgasm washed over you, he didn’t dare stop. Anakin only pulled out to slam back into you, the flutter of your walls pulling him in over and over again. Chasing his high so desperately, it didn’t take long, until he was stilling completely, cumming inside of you. 

You hadn’t let anyone else do that, but for him, it was a privilege. It was almost like your pussy was promised for him and him alone. His forehead fell down against yours, body relaxing into yours for a moment, only a few seconds, not long enough as your walls pulsed around him, now soft inside of you. He pulled out with ease, the loss of him and the cool air startling you to clamp your legs shut. 

He stuffed himself back into his pants and looked down at you almost proudly, your fucked out gaze enough to have him wanting to take you back to his apartment and keep it going all night long, but you had places to be instead. Smirking, his eyes fell down to your lower half, and he couldn’t resist then. Fingers finding the sides of your underwear, they hooked around them before pulling them down your frame and to your ankles. Though confused, you followed, stepping out of them. 

At the loss of them, you could feel the mixed wetness pooling out of you and down the inside of your legs, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Proud of his handiwork, Anakin reached behind him in his back pocket and took out the red lacy underwear. He held them out in his hands, stretching them as he demanded softly, “Step in.” 

Listening, you stepped into the underwear, the clean red lacy underwear that had started all of this. Then tantalizing as if he wanted to torture you further, he pulled them up your legs slowly, agonizingly slow, and then up and over your butt until they sat comfortably along your hips, surely soaking in what the two of you had done.

Leaning forward, he left a lingering peck on your hip bone, and you sighed at the feeling. He slid your shorts back on next before standing and as he did, you could still feel the flush in your cheeks, reality catching up to you. 

Having exchanged the red underwear for the black ones you wore, he shoved the dirty ones into his back pocket. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t think straight, as your heart seemed to be beating out of your chest. With that smirk, that glint on his goddamn face, he reached forward, thumb pulling your bottom lip free before letting it snap back into place. 

“I expect those panties of yours to remain where they are your whole date, got it? And tell Cole ‘hi’ for me, will you?” 

There was one thing for sure, Anakin Skywalker despised you, or not anymore, at least because, after all, he got the one thing he had been dying of thirst for. He would make sure you never ignored him again, even if it was when you were doing your damn laundry. 

[laylaplease]

NEFARIOUS SIESTA —

MDNI 「 Anakin Skywalker × Fem!reader, somnophilia, non-con, groping, virgin reader, clit play, brief vaginal penetration, corruption kink 」

Snuggled neatly on top of him in your pretty sundress, Anakin soon became your favorite substitute for a mattress — a safe space to doze off whenever you were hit with a wave of tiredness. Your boyfriend, however, wasn’t quite fond of this activity. Spiraling into the vortex of his own filth, Anakin finds it especially difficult to keep his hands above your hips. Watching his angel’s sleep face with her eyelashes resting on her cheeks, pouty lips begging for a kiss, and the plush of her breasts spilling over his chest sparks a terrible need in his head. A need to get his nasty grip over her body and make sure not a hole is left unrearranged.

Trying to fight the undeniable tightening of his pants, Anakin shifts your body up towards him, moving your thigh off his painful crotch. Feeling safe in the arms of your dearest boy who spoils you rotten and treats you like his own little princess, you don’t even shift and continue your precious siesta in the safety of his embrace. That’s when Anakin realizes.

Trailing his flesh hand down your spine, he brushes his fingers over the hemline of your pretty garment. Eyes locked on your face, he’s reminded of the way you plead Ani, I’m not ready yet whenever his greedy paws wander to the Edens of your body. Can’t fight him this time, can you?

Seeing the lack of alertness on your features, Anakin continues his voyage. Slowly folding the lilac pleats over your ass, he curses the laying position from preventing the sight of your underwear. With a featherlike touch, he traces the material, creating a mental image of your lace boyshorts he itched to tear off. Sadly, that would, with no doubt, have caused your awakening, and he just couldn’t risk such an unfortunate incident.

His caress travels down your thigh, which, hiked all the way up to his torso, allows him a perfect opening to your delicious pint. Oh, how would he worship that little virgin hole, stretching it open and filling it full of love... If only his princess weren’t such a prude brat. Look what you’ve done — turned him into a pervert!

Shaking the doubts from his mind, his digits swiftly slip past the material, fingertips tickling your tightly shut slit. One touch is plenty to make his cock stand up proudly, stretching his sweats into a tent. He touches you slowly, the lack of arousal knotting his eyebrows into an unpleased frown. Knowing your sleepy body is too unaware to answer his brief teasing, his long fingers seek further, searching for the tiny nub buried between your folds.

Rubbing your puffy clit, he’s soon pleased with your juices seeping into his palm. That’s when your limbs start twitching as your tummy floods with a familiar warmth. Anakin can’t help but grin to himself proudly, seeing the blissful expression bloom on your face. The same expression Anakin has seen plenty of times when your inexperienced hand is wandering around your cherry folds, calling his name while he secretly stands in the secret corners of your room. He never could keep to himself, not when you moaned for him so sweetly, so desperately, he just had to send a little tingle, a little flick of the force right at your nipple or poor, neglected clit…

But this.. This was different. He was really touching you, feeling your smooth body under his fingers, tainting the precious virgin fields with his desperate touch. You were his; you needed him, so what if you told him no countless times? You were his for the taking; your cunt was MEANT to stretch around him, and soon he would prove that to you. Prove that your pussy was created to host his seed, to be filled over and over again until your walls bruise and your mind recognizes him as your rightful owner.

I don’t want to, it’ll hurt… You’d pout at him each time he’d offer to 'make love to you’, making him wonder how you could guess his intentions to pound you stupid until you’re sore for days. He was only laughing at those memories now while having you at his mercy.

Slowly moving his hand out of your panties, he brings it to his face, watching it glisten with your nectar. Wanting to savor every moment of claiming you, he slowly licks his palm clean of your stickiness.

Once the flavor of you settles on his taste buds, he can no longer bear the ache of his cock, begging to be enveloped inside your creamy tunnel. Careful not to move you, he tugs his sweatpants down, freeing his throbbing length. For a moment he just stares down at you, imagining the struggle your tiny pussy will have to go through to welcome him inside. The way you’ll start whining and squirming in his arms as he splits you apart, the way your hands will cling to him for comfort, and teary eyes will be boring into his, seeking comfort and approval. And he’d give it to you; Anakin would give you anything. At the snap of your fingers, he’d tear his rib cage open and present his heart to you. Is he not worthy of your chastity?

His aching tip finally probes at your creamed lips, rising you from the meadows of your dreams, tainting the last bits of innocence. With every hazy blink, the sleep slips from under your eyelashes, welcoming every torturous inch. And all you want to say, all you can muster is,

Ani, please…

Layla's note || I hope this was not too dusty after months of not writing, I've missed Anakin dearly. If you enjoyed, please consider helping me take care of my senior puppy here in my Ko-Fi. Vet bills are messy this month so anything makes a difference :) My content and requesting will always be free, this is just me looking for a little help out here too 🤍

[honeybubblebeeeeee]

STAR WARS MEN AND FALLING ASLEEP ON THEM

I am just a sleepy girl who wants to lay down with my husbands.

ANAKIN SKYWALKER

You had both had a long day. Anakin sat on the couch while you laid your head in his lap facing away from him. He ran his hands through your hair as he spoke softly telling you about the day he had. At first you had responded in full sentences, then mostly just hums of agreement until you stopped responding completely. "Darling?" He leaned forward a little bit to get a look at your face. He tilted you towards him to see your eyes closed. He smiled at the sight of your sleeping form. He didn't want to move in case he woke you but he couldn't help but want you closer. Anakin carefully scooped you up and cradled you against his chest. You stirred slightly but he cooed at you hoping he hadn't woken you up. He couldn't help but close his eyes as he held you, feeling a kind of peace he only felt with you.

OBI WAN KENOBI

You and Obi Wan sat in one of the back corners of the Jedi library. While you were both supposed to be researching, you both ended up moving slowly closer to each other on the couch. You sat shoulder to shoulder pretending to read but mostly focusing on the way your bodies touch. Slowly you rested your head on his shoulder, he went stiff beneath you but relaxed. You got a little too relaxed and closed your eyes, falling asleep. The data pad you were holding slipped from your grasp. When you didn't stir Obi Wan angled his head to look to you. His hands felt clammy at your predicament. He was obviously not open about his feelings but he did not want to give up this small moment with you. Carefully he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, making sure to keep your head rested on his and played with your hair as you continued to rest. He would come up with as many excuses as he could to savour the moment.

KYLO REN

Kylo sat at his desk as you came into the room. He did not look up as you came towards him and squeezed between him and his desk to sit in his lap. He chuckled softly as he adjusted your position to sit comfortably in his lap. You wrapped your legs around him and laid your head on his shoulder. He ran a hand up and down your back as he continued his work. Eventually he sighed, tired of work, "My star, are you tired?" With your lack of response he leaned back to see your eyes closed. He smiled softly as you slept wrapped around him. Kylo wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on yours, taking in your scent and the feeling of you. He rarely allowed himself such moments of affection but for right now he would indulge selfishly.

(also send requests! i appreciate them they help smmmm with writers block <3)

[princessbrunette]

OUUUUUUU PRINCESS DO WE GET THE SWEATY sexy NIGHTMARE SCENE IN THIS AU??????

꒰ა︵︵⊹︵︵ꨄ︎︵︵⊹︵︵૮꒱

how could i forget about it? now i don’t think jj would ever turn to the dark side the way anakin does, but i think he struggles in himself and not knowing if he’s truly ‘good’ to his core the way john b is — someone he sees as the ‘perfect’ jedi. because of these feelings, he often acts out — doing something canon!jj often resorts to, acting troublesome because it’s what everyone expects of him already (the jedi council, his peers etc). however, in more vulnerable moments — he suffers from deep fear that his lack in being a ‘good’ jedi will result in losing those he cares for.

thinking specifically about jedi knight bodyguard jj staying in your room in your palace on naboo, sharing the bed with you because you’d been too frightened to sleep alone — worried about being taken in the night after rumours had surfaced regarding you being a target, hence being assigned a jedi knight.

you’d bonded over the passing weeks, showing jj your way of life and discussing politics over dinner each night. he was brash, reckless, bordering on crass with the way he spoke and the way his eyes lingered, all things you expected a jedi not to be— but you can’t say you hated it. tensions had bubbled, and despite this crossing every rule, jj had started to develop feelings for you.

now, beside you in bed whilst you dream peacefully — he pants, shirtless and sweaty as his dreams plague him, visions of you being taken and slaughtered before his very eyes, all because he let his own issues obstruct what is meant to be a clear jedi mind. when he snaps himself out of his nightmare, sitting up abruptly in bed breathing loudly and heavily, you stir— rolling over and blinking yourself awake.

“jj?” you croak, but he can’t seem to hear you over the blood pumping through his ears. he pushes the bed covers off him, sitting off the side of the bed with his elbows leaning on his knees, head hung. you repeat his name, and this time he jumps a little, craning his head to look at you.

“oh uh— yeah i’m good… i’m good, you go back t’sleep, sunshine.” he rasps, eyes flickering away from yours because he can’t stand the adorable furrow of concern in your brow. he was meant to be the strong one here.

rejecting this suggestion, you crawl up the bed in your nightgown to sit at his side, fingers hesitating before grazing his bare sweaty back. his skin glows beneath the moonlight coming through your large windows. it was a real shame jedi weren’t allowed to form attachment.

“did you have a night terror?” you hum, eyes trailing over his side profile. he continues to stare downwards, tonguing at his cheek as if he was too ashamed to act solemnly before he glances your way again, pulling a hand through matted blonde hair.

“it happens. just gotta… catch my breath n’stuff.” he dismisses and you sigh out your nose.

“lay back down,”

“i just gotta—”

“with me.”

his mouth turns downwards when he peers over at you, eyeing you in thought. doing so would be indulging, not at all obstructing the inevitable forming of attachment he was experiencing. but after all, jedi aside — he was just a man. he couldn’t help but crave a soft hand that hadn’t been coarsened by war.

“right… f’sure.” he nods quietly before awkwardly easing back down on the bed, propped up by pillows. he clears his throat, lips pressed together as you sit, simply watching him for a moment before gently laying yourself against his chest, pulling the silk blanket up over you both.

“now sleep, jedi. i won’t tell anyone.” he feels your smile push your cheek up against his chest and he feels himself relaxing against the bed. it had been a while since he’d felt this content, and it was terrifying him.

a moment or so passes, and he feels himself tense up a little — almost like he wanted to sit up. he’d had plenty of one night stands in the lower rim of coruscant. sure it was frowned upon but atleast he knew that wasn’t quite forbidden. this however was different, intimate, he didn’t know how to act.

“look i don’t know if i can just go back to sleep right now. that was pretty intense n’i don’t wanna wake you up if i just suddenly freak out again, you know? maybe it’s best if i just…uh… what’cha doing?” he trails off when your fingers slide down his toned abdomen and begin to tug ever so lightly at the waistband of his black sleep pants.

“i know you’re a jedi but you’re still a man. isn’t there some way i can… relax you?” you tilt your head upwards, blinking up at him sleepily with doe eyes that could only belong to a princess. as you do so, your gentle hand slides over his length which jumps beneath your palm through the fabric before slotting your fingers into his waistband.

“m-mmmaker okay— uh, are you sure this is— y’know i don’t wanna—”

“c’mon, jj… let me help you? even jedi’s need a little relief sometimes. like i said…” he quickly begins to harden as you play with him beneath his pants, pressing your tits through your night gown against his side. he’s paralysed in pleasure, only able to stare down at you with wide blue eyes. “i wont tell a soul.”

꒰ა︵︵⊹︵︵ꨄ︎︵︵⊹︵︵૮꒱

[squad-724]

Oof I’ve had a couple rough weeks at uni, have padmecker artwork I’ve been slowly working on. It’s an illustration for a short fic of the two of them, a twin piece to @electrikworm ’s fic

“There.” Padmé sighed as she put down the stylus, a moment ago used to correct the few words of her next speech on the Senatorial Ball she was organizing with Bail and Riyo to warm her colleagues up to the clones. A small tactic to make them look more sentient and humanoid than what they officially were written as in the law. One step closer to the bill that would recognise them as citizens of the Republic.

She straightened up in her seat, her back cracking in a few places, making her wince. No matter how much the chair cost, five hours of no movement will make her body ache. And because of the non-stop debates in the rotunda she had no time to prepare it earlier; the ball was the next day.

Padmé took her time, finishing sipping the cold caf she got delivered back when there was still sunlight, watching the lights of the Planet That Never Slept flicker in the distance. She knew how they looked up close, both on the triple zero and in lower levels she so rarely visited; only going there for her rare dates that she still had to hide from the public. If the media learned about her relationship with a clone, the whole rights bill could be compromised.

Sometimes she didn't care, wishing to be able to take Wrecker to one of the fancy restaurants, let him taste all the amazing foods she could get him, to walk around in broad daylight, visit museums and opera. She wished she could spoil him as much as he deserved.

But it would have to wait. Padmé knew she would make sure he and his brothers could soon walk around as fully free citizens.

“You done?” The senator almost jumped out of her seat as a male voice came from the doors to her office space.

“On the moons Anakin you scared me,” Padmé let out a sigh of relief, and the jedi laughed at her reaction. “What are you still doing here, you were supposed to leave hours ago.”

“Eeeh, I think I should give Rex a little room to breathe. He almost strangled me after I threw him down that hole two days ago.”

“And you don't want to spend the night on observation with Kix.”

“And I don't want to spend the night on observation with Kix, and Rex WILL rat me out in an act of revenge.” He walked over to her balcony doors, grabbing one of the donuts she kept on her desk, her favorite one she kept for last. “I'll sleep at Snip’s new apartment, apparently she got a great deal from the landlady that had a good family history with the Order, and didn't need a down payment. I'll see you at the ball.” He waved her goodbye and jumped down the balcony. Padmé knew he called R2 to come pick him up, just as all the times he decided to have that dramatic of an exit. One day he would fall and break his neck, and that would be karma for stealing the best donuts.

There was nothing more Padmé wanted than to sleep. But she desperately needed to shower, and knew Clone Force 99 was about to enter the Coruscanti atmosphere in a few moments.

She met the squad only a few months back, the four clones called as her escort during a mission. At first she was surprised at the differences from normal troopers, but soon learned about their mutations and special enhancements that were made to them.

Each one of them was unique and interesting, but it was Wrecker who caught her eye, his eyes that kept looking at her with awe when he thought she didn't notice, but also the difference between his pure show of power in opposition of how gentle he was with her.

He had that charm and authenticity that all her previous suitors lacked, speaking his mind and not carefully picking lines of dialogue they practiced before each meeting. He was himself at all times, and who he was was a man of big heart. And Padmé couldn't deny him the beautiful musculature and tanned skin.

And now, after three weeks of a comms-out mission, he and his brothers were coming for a personal debrief with commander Cody, and to crash at her flat for a few days.

She already stocked her fridge with food, readied her three guest rooms with a fresh set of beddings and towels. Yeah maybe she was playing favorites with that, but no one deserved being pampered like these four. Especially Wrecker.

As she waited for the clones to arrive she took a quick shower and brushed her teeth, finally getting rid of the acidic aftertaste of caf on an empty stomach. Once she put on her face mask, she got a ping on her datapad reading “Be there in 5 ;)”.

Padmé got her droid to brew some tea when the doorbell rang out. All of her sleepiness evaporates in an instance when she runs to the door.

She isn't done opening them properly before a massive set of hands hauls her off the floor and into a spinning hug that ends with a keldabe kiss.

“Hi sweetheart,” Padmé breathes out, looking into Wrecker's mismatched eyes. She locks her hands around his neck, pulling him close into a proper kiss. Oh how she missed it.

“Ekhm, we're still in the doorway love doves,” a snarky voice brings them back into reality, Wrecker laughing as he moves deeper into the apartment, letting his brothers in. “Great. I'm taking the bathtub first.” A few voices of protest ring out as Crosshair bolts to the refresher.

“Sorry for the wait, there were some issues with the docking system and they didn’ want to let us down to the planet.” Wrecker finally let Padmé down, putting his bag down soon after.

“Not your fault, I just barely finished my job anyways, didn't have to wait for long.” She stood on her tiptoes to land another kiss on her boyfriend’s scarred cheek, making him blush. No matter how many times she did it, the giant clone got red after signs of any affection.

“Thanks for letting us stay,” Hunter all but collapsed on the couch, cup of freshly brewed tea in hand. He looked a little roughed up, his cheek covered in a fresh dressing, left eye sporting a bruise. “I don't think I could survive another night bunking on the ship with those three idiots.”

Padmé laughed as a choir of three voices raised up with a complaint. She sipped her herbal tea. She had missed this.

Not just Wrecker, but his whole family. How much life they brought to this otherwise empty apartment. The sound of bickering during breakfast preparation, doors opening and closing when they left for the town, repetitive whirring coming from Tech's room, muted music from Crosshair's.

“I am completely exhausted, so I'll be waiting for you in bed. I don't want to smell ANY grease or pickled feet when you join, so take a bath beforehand.” Padmé smooched Wrecker one last time, putting down her cup next to the dishwasher, before she wished the clones goodnight and retreated into her own bedroom.

As much as she complained about the costs of her sheets to Sabé, in moments like these every single credit spent on them seemed worth it. She slipped under the covers, sighing softly as the pain in her back quieted down just a little bit. She had to wake up in the morning for the last dress try on, and then get her hair done before the ball. How lucky she was that a highly experienced squad of troopers was available as her security for the event.

Padmé felt herself fall asleep just as the mattress next to her dipped significantly. Wrecker put his calloused hand on her back, sneaking it under her shirt and drawing slow circles in between her shoulder blades.

“Mmm I really need to sleep my dear, we will have the whole night to ourselves tomorrow.” she murmured into her pillow, relaxing her back under the soft pressure of his palm.

“Then sleep cyar’ika.” The trooper whispered, drawing his thumb up and down her spine, kneading the locked up muscles into relaxation. Padmé knew how firm they must have felt, and let her boyfriend smooth them out as they slowly fell into a rhythm.

“Does anything else hurt?” Padmé could feel his warm breath on her cheek. She could deny it, let him lay down next to her. But, it felt so nice to be taken care of like that.

“Right arm, think I was holding my stylus too tightly.” She didn't even open her eyes as she turned on her side, reaching out the hurting limb.

With a gentleness a man of his frame seemed incapable of, Wrecker took it, moving it to face the palm up, and began massaging it too.

He started with her finger, so delicate and small in the embrace of his giant ones. Each one was delicately pinched in between his pointer finger and thumb, joints muscles and tendons kneaded into relaxation.

Then came the palm, painfully wiry, with the muscles tensed and coiled from the long hours of no rest. Wrecker's fingers carefully massaged them, and Padmé let out a few hisses of pain before these too relaxed into comfy hums as her boyfriend helped her with the pain.

She thought it would be it, but he continued the comforting movements on her forearm, now his actions bringing her more of a relaxing effect rather than purely pain relivement.

Wrecker arms continuously moved his hands up and down her forearm, drawing circles with his thumbs, making her back shiver with pleasure. She didn't even realize how wiry her muscles got until he made them relax, his fingers digging into knots deep into her limb.

“How did you learn to do this?” She murmured, her voice partially muted by the pillow she was laying on. Wrecker’s mismatched eyes didn't leave her arm, but she definitely saw the slight smirk under his nose.

“All of us got some pains a massage helps with. I was the first to need them, my growing pains making my whole body ache until I couldn't move. That's when Tech found some texts on holonet to teach me so I could do them before sleep. Then it turned out that Hunter's migraines can be lessened if you relieve the pressure on the neck,” Wrecker's pressure on Padmé's arm became weaker and weaker, his body slowly sumping to the side. “Tech tends to fall asleep on the pilot seat and next to his workbench, and I deal with his back afterwards.”

The senator gently pulled her boyfriend to lay down, his heavy body hitting the mattress. He didn't say anything, but let out a hum of comfort, wriggling closer to her, wrapping his arms around her much smaller waist. He was very warm, making Padmé shiver.

“Mmm, I'm glad you're here.” she settled her forehead just above his heart, taking comfort in the sound of the beat. Strong, just like him.

“Wish I could stay,” one of his arms moved to the base of her skull, gently scratching her hair bulbs, often sore from the extravagant hairstyles she wore on a daily basis. The hair and dresses, what she was most known for. A beauty of Naboo, queen and senator Amidala whose spirit never yielded. Just like her looks she never did anything halfway, giving her everything into how she presented herself as how she protected the innocents of the Republic.

But there she was, her hair in disarray, wearing an old t-shirt and underwear that has been for sweet release of the trash bin for months, and Wrecker was here, calling her beautiful in the pure darkness, his arms a comforting weight. Here, she was Padmé Naberrie, spending one of her rare moments with a man that found her beauty not in the make-up, dresses or jewelry, but her genuine laugh, lacking cooking skills, and the ability to stand her ground to help him and his brothers become people in the eyes of law.

He would protect her planet, while she secured his future.

Thank you Manhattan for edits and beta reading!

[marvelstars]

I was thinking about the worst part when it comes to Obi-Wan and Anakin´s relationship issues wasn´t the tragic end in ROTS but those seeds planted at the start of their story where Obi-Wan resented Qui-Gon´s attention for Anakin while he felt the boy wasn´t much to look at and a future issue for his master with the Council in the long run which made Obi-Wan worried for his master reputation and how this would be affected while he could care less about Anakin´s well being or his pov or even his feelings on the matter.

The worst part is that Anakin didn´t just listen to Obi-Wan´s words, he could feel all of this from Obi-Wan as sensible as he was with the force and he could deal with Obi-Wan seeing him as a problem as long as Qui-Gon was alive and seemed to genuinely care for him even if nobody else at the Jedi Temple seemed to care but when Qui-Gon died he should have felt very lonely with a new guardian grieving his master who saw him more like a promise to his master legacy than a person.

Imagine all those times 9 year old Anakin missed his Mom or cried himself to sleep thinking about her, wondering if she was alright while other padawans teased him about his former slave status, his lack of formal education or his difficulty understanding concepts they have been told since they were babies, while not having any close relationship for the mere fact he didn´t grow up with them and his master more or less agreed with them even if he didn´t openly said it.

Anakin didn´t even have someone to have his back while he was growing up at the temple, because from their perspective those were issues he had to get over, no need for someone to support him emotinally or simply showed him some empathy, those were the same issues Obi-Wan had with Anakin since the moment they meet and while Anakin certainly did his best to grow into his potential, stydying hard and doing well on his studies, he was hardly recognized by his master, when his efforts were seen as arrogance instead of efforts to get the approval of his master and his peers.

Imagine that level of loneliness that your only company during your development years were the droids who helped you remember home and your Mom while at the same time feeling guilty for not feeling welcome at the temple because you were free and feed while your mother and friends were slaves and often lacked food and no one in the area could even begin to understand how Anakin felt and why except "Palpatine" but instead of helping Anakin he used this to manipulate him, get his trust and later make him fall to madness and the darkside.

The Sith Lord master understood better than anybody else at the Jedi temple that Anakin needed a father figure, not a master or a cold envoirment because that was familiar to him, that gave him emotional strenght and stability and more importantly, that make Anakin trust them and give his loyalty, no wonder he decided leaving Anakin to train as a Jedi in such circunstances were proper eteps towards becoming his sith apprentice and that irony probably didn´t escape him or Vader once he fell to the darkside but I don´t think Obi-Wan quite got that understanding until later when he saw Luke grow up with the Lars family but certainly not in the first few years post ROTS, he probably just reflected on where did he go wrong with Anakin.

[geneticdriftwood]

the problem with hayden christensen’s performance in revenge of the sith isn’t that it’s bad. the problem is that he sells ‘guy having a psychotic break compounded or caused by extreme sleep deprivation’ way too effectively! so when people respond to anakin proportionately to how evil he’s being a large part of me is just confused why nobody is getting him emergency psychiatric care. because it really feels like if he slept for 20 hours and got a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic he would be fine and not evil, actually!

which is SO not the point of the movie, thematically. and in that respect it’s an ineffective performance, but not for lack of acting skills!

[ddejavvu]

I need anakin to bend me in half, my legs over his shoulders with his hands intertwined above my head to hold me in place and rabbit fuck me until he fills me up with his seed and holds me upside so not a drop spills then do it all over again the next morning. and then pulls up my panties, pats my clothed pussy and tells me to go on with my day with all his cum snug inside me🧎‍♀️

keep the anakin thoughts coming please <3 just like he'd keep me comi- [gunshots]

this post is 18+, minors dni.

the part about- the- the part about... patting it. like a little reward. please i'm convulsing i need him so carnally

he spends a fair amount of time in the morning loving on you, because he's been touch/love deprived all his life and he's enamored with the concept of just being with you. But he's like a leech, and more often than not, when he gets his hands on you, he's gonna latch on and suck and take take take take take from you, so having your knees over his shoulders just becomes a regular morning routine for the two of you.

it's really very casual, too. that's not to say it lacks passion, because anakin is passion in human form, and it would be impossible for him to do anything without an underlying current of it running through his veins like scorching oil, fueling his every move. but it's routine, it's usual, it's expected.

all he has to do is tilt his head up, chin pointed towards the bedpost, and you know to wrap your hands around it and hold on for dear life. he doesn't even need to say it anymore, but sometimes a sleep-thickened, groggy 'bedpost' will fill the anticipatory silence that your blearily buzzing bodies exude.

he is a pussy !! eater !! if you're not already slick and wet and begging for his cock from whatever varying degree of foreplay he'd managed in his freshly awake state, he parts your thighs with an easy wedge of his hands and buries his face in your cunt to say good morning. he probably talks to it too, squishing his nose up against the underside of the hood of your clit and offering a murmured 'morning' to your pussy. he likes when it elicits a response, a shudder of your spine, a fluttering clench around the slack ring of his lips, and he's more than happy to tongue-fuck you open in preparation for his cock. he's rutting it against the bed, ignoring the squished discomfort in search of stimulation that you can give him so much better.

he eats you out the same way he kisses you; a confident, probing tongue and a lot of spit. so much, in fact, that you can't tell what of the foamy residue he sucks up and spits back out onto your cunt is your own juices, or his. but it's wet, disgustingly so, and it's enough lubrication to aid in his master plan.

once you're sufficiently wet and ready, he doesn't hold back. he's been grinding against the stiff mattress for too long to take it slow, once the crown of his cock breaches your eager hole he's blacking out and going all in. his hips start at a jackrabbit's pace instantly and don't slow until he's pulling out of you, a relentless rhythm that you're always woefully unprepared for in the early morning.

you always cry out things like 'ah! anakin!' or 'easy- gentle! please, ani' you sob with tears brimming in your sleepy eyes as you grip at his cheeks, trying to tame whatever wild beast has him in its clutches while your cunt sucks him in, 'easy, baby, please.'

you're lucky you can use your hands, too. because he used to restrain them with the force, something that anakin knows obi-wan would be satisfyingly disapproving of if he ever found out. but once you'd learned to keep them around the headboard, you'd been permitted to hold them there yourself, and you can get away with touching his face or clawing at his back. as long as you don't use them to shift your weight somewhere, or touch your clit, or anything that he can handle. your legs burn as he's thrown them over his shoulders but don't move them, he wants them there.

anakin's a voracious kisser, licking your mouth out and providing it with an abundance of saliva and the residue of your own wetness. it's another hole he can fuck, his tongue prodding at the suction of your throat like his dick does to your cunt. he likes making you gag on it, sticking his tongue so far down your throat that you choke. all the while his drool is leaking into your mouth, pooling and swirling obscenely with your own, and making his cock twitch inside of your sloppy cunt.

he's very vocal during sex, but sometimes the morning sleepiness still has its clutches on him, and he's not very verbal. typically, though, he's grunting and groaning at every thrust, his mouth squelching as his tongue slides wetly against your own and his pornographic growls flowing straight down your throat and to your core.

He always holds himself back from cumming until after you have, maybe because he revels in how sensitive you get while he's still pumping his cock into you like you haven't just finished and spasmed around him. he usually spills warm, thick loads of cum into you not long after you work through your own orgasm, the feeling of your climax pushing him to his own.

but he doesn't slump down onto you, he doesn't roll over, he doesn't go fetch a washcloth, no. he slides his strong hands under your hips, one flesh and one durasteel, and lifts your hips off of the mattress, folding your stomach in half and keeping your cunt elevated.

His seed spills obscenely from its clutches but he prods at it with sloppy, haphazard fingers and licks them clean once it's no longer spilling outside of you. he wants it to sink into you, he wants it to take and be trapped in your cunt for the entire day. he knows gravity isn't on his side in that wish, but he dips down to nudge and kiss it between your puffy lips, tasting it on his tongue as he pushes it further into your sex.

when he's satisfied with its placement, he takes your underwear, sliding it over your ankles and hiking it up to your waist. it takes a little maneuvering to secure it under your ass, but once it's there he pats over your now-clothed, still filthy pussy, offering up an appreciative, 'good job, angel'. you can't tell if he's talking to you or your pussy but your brain is simultaneously exhausted and on fire at the same time, so you let him get up and shower for the morning while you recover beneath the bedsheets. when he leaves for his duties he drops a kiss to your lips, much more chaste and quick than it had been before, and tells you to have a good day, pretty girl.'

and that's it.

like he hadn't just fucked you raw and rough into the mattress. like your hands don't have imprints of the bedpost on them.

'have a good day, pretty girl.'

[cripplecharacters]

with regards to the recent post about different types of disabilities to represent, and how amputees tend to be an over-represented* type of character, would you say the same would apply to characters with congenital limb differences? specifically those that do not use prosthetics, if that's a factor as well

*not quite the word i'm looking for, but i'm struggling to think of a more suitable one to use. i understand disabilities in general are pretty sorely lacking in representation

Hello,

I think the word you may be looking for is misrepresented. Amputees are represented in a very specific way- they lost their limb, usually their arm though upper-limb amputees are rarer than lower-limb amputees, usually in some deeply traumatic accident, such as falling off a cliff and being experimented on, and then they're given some magical prosthetic or cybernetic that basically replaces their old arm or functions even better, even though a lot of upper-limb amputees either don't get prosthetics, barely use their prosthetic as anything other than something to make it look like they have an arm or a cool arm, or get a prosthetic arm that maybe does something like fingers clenching or unclenching based on the activity of a certain nerve, which in no way completely substitutes their flesh arm. The type of amputees in media, the ones who lost their arm due to trauma and who wear a prosthetic (and usually sleep wearing it, Bucky and Anakin) that entire replaces the limb they lost, are basically nonexistent in real life and those who come close, amputees who lost their arm in an accident and who do have a cooler prosthetic that does certain things like grab stuff, are a very small portion of real-life amputees.

As for people with a congenital limb difference, I don't think I've ever really seen those in media. I know of one character ever with a congenital limb difference, a Lego Friends character born without the lower portion of her left arm, and that's all. Though people with congenital limb differences make up a good portion, half if not most, of the limb difference community, they're sorely underrepresented in media.

As for people with congenital limb differences who wear or don't wear prosthetics being represented, I don't have room to speak on that because I only know of one character ever with a congenital limb difference and she uses no prosthetic. However, based on the people I know in real life who have congenital limb differences, their use of prosthetics depends on which limb (and, of course, the condition they have. Some limb differences don't have the ability or need to use prosthesis at all.) Upper-limb limb differences usually don't get a prosthetic, unless it's some form of adaptive technology to help them do something such as write with their dominant arm when they may be missing part of their hand or arm, because they've lived their entire life with this condition and they're very used to working around it. Lower-limb limb differences may have a prosthetic leg depending on their disability, or they may just use a wheelchair or other mobility aid because those may have been easier for their family to keep up with (prosthetics for growing children can get very expensive and they aren't a catchall solution.) Based on how amputees are represented, I get the feeling that characters with congenital limb differences would be represented mostly the same. They would mostly have upper-limb differences that do not impact them at all because they wear some cool cybernetic that entirely substitutes a limb they've never even had, ignoring how that would probably be a major learning curve for them because they've lived their entire life using their body in a certain way but now they have an entirely new limb to learn to deal with.

Mod Aaron

Hey!

I agree with Aaron (especially on how amputees are misrepresented - just because there's more rep than usual doesn't mean it's good), but I want to add one some context for non-amputee limb difference representation that was pretty big for all the wrong reasons in the visible difference community. That remake of the Witches. In the original, the main villain is, well, a witch (a witch with a facial difference, but that's irrelevant here I suppose).

In the remake, she has a limb difference. Ectrodactyly, if you want to be specific. It's the villain who has it. The Grand High Witch is supposed to be the Big Bad, and during the making of the movie, I guess they decided that giving her Disabled Hands would make her more visibly evil. There was a whole social media movement going on with the #NotAWitch hashtag. Also some videos, like this one.

My point is that limb differences are still treated quite horribly in the media (the video linked describes the portrayal I mentioned as "heartbreaking", "disappointing", and every other synonym). It's still seen as a "freakshow" thing. In that particular movie they even hide it for the "grand reveal of scary disability. I guess what I want to say is that non-amputation limb differences are treated very similarly to facial differences. If we get anything, it's to be scary and villainous and bad.

Here's an ancient post about this topic. To quote it here, "maybe your oc with a bionic arm, doesn't have a bionic arm and instead of pretending to have representation, actually do some research. maybe they have a club foot, maybe symbrachydactyly, maybe they are missing a finger and they don't wear a prosthetic pinkie."

It's the whole "magic robot arms are so cool!! everything else is ugly so I won't show that unless I need the shock value tho" thing again.

I'd love to see actual positive representation of congenital limb differences because it's simply not there. Especially the ones that only get the once-in-a-blue-moon "representation" like I mentioned above - a hero with ectrodactyly would be awesome, or any other limb difference that doesn't get even a crumb of thoughtful representation (I mentioned a few of them in this post), or amputee representation that is actually good and not just the same "perfect prosthetic because the author is so scared of amputees they refuse to do research" thing again.

I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[bloatedandalone04]

Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 0.8

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which anakin spirals more and more and you debate on whether or not you’re truly happy with where your life is going.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.9k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The flashing lights made Anakin’s head spin as he gripped the glass tightly in his hand. 

He had no idea how much he had to drink tonight, but he knew it was well past his limit. Still, the more he drank the more free he felt. 

Gone was the stress of not being able to write, gone was the constant ache he felt whenever he thought of you, gone were his worries. 

He guessed he had Liz to thank for that since she had found this bar that looked a lot more like a club. She had heard of this place in Warsaw that was apparently pretty popular, and that turned out to be very true since Anakin could barely move with all the people around him. 

He also had no idea what they were saying as they chatted and sang amongst themselves, and clearly Liz didn’t either as she shook her head at a guy who offered her something in a plastic bag. “I have no idea what you’re saying,” she yelled over the music as she took a small pill from him, making Anakin raise a brow in concern. “But I’ll have one.”

She smirked and placed the pill on her tongue, and it dissolved slowly as she winked at the man before patting him on the back and sending him on his way. She turned back to face Anakin with a grin as he eyed her cautiously. “Do you know that guy?” He asked and looked behind her as the man offered one of the pills to another girl. 

“Nope,” she answered, stealing his drink from his hand while he was distracted and finishing it off for him. 

He looked back at her and she rolled her eyes when he said, “Do you think it’s  a good idea to take pills from random men at bars?”

“Who are you, my dad?” She laughed, taking his wrist in her hand. “Just because you don’t do drugs doesn’t mean you can judge those who do.” 

Anakin followed her as she pulled him to the middle of the room, and he had to squeeze uncomfortably in between more than one intoxicated girl who ran her nails down his body on his way past. “I’m not judging,” he said. “Just want to make sure you’re being safe.”

She smirked up at him as she tried to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “I’m with you, aren’t I?” She asked, slurring her words and pushing herself up so her face was close to his. “I’m the safest I could be.”

“Okay,” he took her wrists in his hands and dropped her arms to her sides. “I think you’ve consumed more than enough tonight. Let’s just go.”

Liz pulled back when he tried to guide her towards the door, shaking her head like a kid even though she was nearing her thirties. “You go if you want to so badly,” she scoffed. “Call your little girlfriend and go to bed. I’m staying.”

He watched as she began dancing with the guy she got the pill from and sighed as he pulled out his phone to check the time. 

2:43 AM.

Fuck, he was going to be exhausted during the band meeting tomorrow and he probably will only get an hour or two of sleep at the most if he left now, but he knew he couldn’t leave her alone this time. She was far too intoxicated and he would feel awful if something were to happen to her after he left. 

So, with a huff, he pocketed his nearly dead phone and leaned against a pillar, keeping an eye on her for a few more hours after that. He ended up pretty much carrying her back to where the bus parked was at nearly six in the morning, his body aching and his eyes sore from lack of sleep. 

He felt like he had been sleeping for five minutes when Vinny shook him awake and pointed towards the couch. “Morning, Anakin,” he greeted. “Why is Liz sleeping on our couch?”

Anakin groaned as he got out of his bunk and looked at the couch, too. “She got completely wasted last night,” he told Vinny. “I couldn’t get her to leave until, like, five in the morning and I let her sleep there since nothing else was open and she didn’t make any reservations at a hotel.”

Vinny nodded as he tucked his phone and wallet into his jean pockets. “Uh huh,” he muttered, heading towards the door. “Well, have fun dealing with her hangover.”

“Wait,” Anakin called after him, walking over to Vinny quickly despite his head begging him to stop moving right now. “Where are you going? I thought Helena said there was a band meeting today.”

Vinny shook his head and opened the bus door. “No? Pretty sure that was her way of getting you to talk to her without you thinking something is up,” he answered, stepping off the bus. “With that being said, if you don’t show up to that meeting, I’ll personally kick your ass.”

Then he was gone and Anakin was left holding his stomach as he felt nausea wash over him. He passed by Liz and headed for his bunk again, picking out black jeans and a hoodie he’s had since his first year of college before he dropped out to go on tour. 

He felt around in the pockets of the jeans he wore last night and pulled out his phone, a deep sigh leaving his mouth when he saw that it was at 2%. He also saw that you had texted him, and he typed out a response as he walked by Liz again. He debated on whether or not he should wake her up, but decided not to as he left the bus. 

She could sleep there for now until she was scheduled to take their pictures later tonight. And she could deal with her own hangover.

Princess: Hey..miss you. Can we call later today?

Miss you, too. Yeah, call me when you’re able to. 

He sent it before pulling up the directions to the coffee shop Helena sent him. 

Anakin barely made it there before his phone died, and as soon as he entered the shop and met Helena’s eye, it powered off. He shoved it into his pocket and sat down across from her at the table. “Hey, sorry, I had a hard time finding this place,” he said as he looked around the small shop. 

Helena hummed as she brought her cup of coffee up to her mouth, pushing another one towards him with her free hand. “That’s alright,” she trailed off, sipping on her drink as she observed him with a raised brow before leaning forward. “Permission to be blunt, Anakin?”

Anakin laughed as he sipped his own drink, grimacing at the hot liquid before swallowing quickly. “Permission granted, like always,” he answered, setting the cup aside. “You know that.”

Helena gave him a tight lipped smile as she leaned back again. “You look like shit,” she stated, crossing her arms while still holding her coffee. “Like, awful. Anakin, you look bad.”

Anakin laughed unexpectedly and looked around again. He wasn’t sure what he thought she was going to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Uh…thanks for that, Hel. You sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself,”

When he met her eyes again, he could see the concern in them. “I’m serious, Anakin,” she said, much quieter now as her gaze flickered all over his face. “How much sleep have you been getting? You’ve got circles under your eyes, you’re hungover all the time, you’ve lost weight…I’m worried about you, Anakin.”

He shifted uncomfortably in the chair before leaning back and avoiding eye contact with his manager. He knew he wasn’t doing very well at the moment, but there wasn’t much he could do about some of her concerns. 

He knew his sleep schedule would become fucked when he left you behind in London, and he gave her a warning about that in advance. The drinking and hangovers were on him, though, and he really didn’t have an excuse for that. 

Still, he felt like he was being called out by one of his high school teachers, and he wasn’t the biggest fan of that feeling. 

Helena sighed at his lack of response and set her drink aside as she thought over her next words. “Is it Y/n? I haven’t heard you talk about her much lately,” she cautiously asked. 

Anakin looked over, glaring at her for a second before shaking his head. “No, it’s not Y/n. She’s doing great all by herself in London,” he bitterly answered, making Helena raise a brow. 

“Okay…” She sat back again, knowing better than to push that topic any further because of his hostile answer. “How’s the song writing coming along?”

He laughed quietly at that one. “Amazing,” he said and watched as she perked up at that. Too bad he was about to ruin her brief moment of happiness. “I’ve written one whole sentence. Not a lyric, but a sentence.” 

She raised both brows and pressed her lips together at that, nodding in a way that told him she was holding back. “Okay…um…alright,” she dropped her gaze and focused on the table, and Anakin felt bad about his inability to be a decent fucking guy nowadays. “Okay….as your manager, I’m responsible for you, so, I have to ask….what’s with all the partying? All the hangovers?”

Anakin gave her a look that begged her to just drop it, but she just gave him an unreadable expression. He sighed as he crossed his own arms. “I don’t know, I thought all musicians went out and partied in their prime,”

Helena nodded and grabbed her drink again. “Most do…but I see you’ve gotten pretty close with Elizabeth. What’s that all about?” 

“I thought you wanted us to be nice to her,” he pointed out and Helena nodded again. 

“I do want that, but you’ve been spending more and more time with her at all these bars and clubs,” she trailed off, shrugging afterwards. “Just worried about you, is all.”

Anakin slouches back and nods. “Well, I’m fine,” he mumbled, giving her a half-assed thumbs up as if it would help her believe his words. “Really. Just missing my other half, that’s it.” 

Helena gave him a sad smile. “You sure that’s it?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “That’s it. I’m working on the song, I promise. It’s just taking longer than normal, but I’ll get it done.”

She nodded and sat up straighter. “Good to hear,”

He smiled back at her as he looked at the empty seats next to them in the booth. “So, why did you say this was a band meeting when you only wanted to talk to me?”

Helena gave him a pointed look, “Would you have actually shown up if I told you that I wanted to meet with you to call you out on your shit?”

Anakin let out a genuine laugh at that, running his hand through his messy hair as he shook his head. “No, probably not,”

-

“Before you all run out of here and get drunk or whatever it is that college students do on weekends nowadays, I have a little announcement,” Kenneth said just as you and the rest of the class started packing up. “There’s an orientation event happening this weekend. Just something to encourage first time students to put themselves out there, be creative..things like that.”

You shove your books in your bag as you stand up, never looking away from your instructor as his gaze flickers all around the room. 

“After reading the assignments you’ve all submitted, I’ve decided I want one of you to tag along with me to the orientation, just as long as you’re not booked and busy for the weekend like I’m sure you all are,” he said, earning a few scattered laughs before he met your gaze. “Miss Y/l/n, I think you will learn a thing or two if you were to attend the orientation. If you are able to.”

Your face heats up as everyone looks at you, making you shift a bit and glance up at Evan, who didn’t look too happy but still did a decent job at hiding it. “Me?”

Kenneth nodded, “Yeah, you. I think spending a few hours with the young writers would do you well,”

You swallow harshly as you avoid eye contact with every single student that was looking at you. “Yeah, sure, I….sounds fun,”

“Great,” Kenneth nodded, standing up as well. “And don’t worry, there will be many other opportunities like this for everyone else. Have a good weekend, guys.”

Evan shook his head and shoved his notebook in his bag as he headed for the door, pausing when he realized that you weren’t following him. “Hey,” he called out to you, making you look over at him from where you stood by the table. “You coming?”

Holding up your index finger, you give him a shy and embarrassed smile. “One sec,” you answer before quickly walking over to Kenneth’s desk. “Hi, sorry, but are you sure I’m the right fit for this? There’s a lot of talent in this class.”

You look over at Evan, who just shakes his head again and leaves the room with everyone else. Kenneth looked down at you with a raised brow. “It’s just an orientation, Miss Y/l/n, not a showcase,” he said. “That happens much later.”

You nod and place your bag over your shoulder. “Right, okay, sorry. Thank you for, you know, picking me, I…I appreciate it,” you trail off. “Where is it happening? Will I need to wear something specific?”

Kenneth shook his head as he packed his own bag. “No, nothing specific. They’ll give you a name tag so people will know you’re part of the event, which is happening on campus,” he answered. “In the Quad.”

“The Quad, right,” you nod. “Time?”

“One in the afternoon,”

“Okay, great,” you say and back away from him, hoping Evan waited for you in the hall. You also hoped he wasn’t mad at you like you think he might be. “Thanks again.”

Kenneth gave you a nod. “See you tomorrow, Miss Y/l/n,” 

“See you tomorrow,” you say back before leaving the classroom and meeting Evan’s eye as you enter the hallway. “Jesus.”

Evan laughs and it sounds a bit forced as you and he walk down the hall. “What? Upset that the instructors got a soft spot for you?”

His question caught you off guard and you stumble a bit as you near the exit. “He does not,” you scoff. “He said everyone will get an opportunity like this.”

Evan holds the door open for you. “Yeah, only because he had to,” he said, making you glare up at him for a few seconds. “Oh, come on, the man basically just said you’re the best in the class, he’s gotta keep the rest of our hopes up so we don’t drop out.”

You shake your head. “You and your threats to drop out,” you mutter, walking a few steps ahead of him. “I didn’t ask him to choose me, okay? It just happened.”

Evan stopped walking, making you stop as well and turn to face him. “And you agreed,”

“What was I supposed to do? Tell him no?” You raise your voice a bit before promptly shutting up and looking down. He was making you feel bad about being chosen by Kenneth, but you still didn’t want there to be tension between you and the only person you actually talk to in class. “There’s that reading assignment we got earlier today…do you want to work on it together? Maybe we can order in, too.”

Evan looked away and shook his head. “No, I think I’ll have an early night tonight,” he said as he began walking in the opposite direction. 

“Ev,” you call out after him but he just continues walking. 

“I’ll see you on Monday,” he said back and then he was halfway across the campus, leaving you all by yourself. 

You curse under your breath, frustration seeping into you as you pull out your phone and click on Anakin’s contact. He was probably the only person in the whole world you wanted to talk to right now. “Hey, princess,” he greets you when the call connects. 

“Hi, Ani,” you say as you begin walking again. “How are you?”

“Could be better,” he answered and you could hear him fidgeting with something in the background. “What about you? How was your day?”

You look back in the direction Evan took off in, but he was long gone now. “It was going well until about five minutes ago,” you say as you walk towards your dorm. “I accidentally pissed Evan off and now he’s all mad at me.”

“Why is he mad at you?” Even on the phone you could still hear the protectiveness in Anakin’s voice, and it provided you with the smallest amount of comfort. 

“He thinks Kenneth has a soft spot for me since he asked me to go to this orientation thing with him this weekend,” you mumble and after saying it out loud, you were kind of starting to agree with Evan. “I don’t know, it’s just…I don’t know.”

Anakin scoffs. “Sounds like Evan is just jealous of you,” 

You bite down on your lip and take out your keys. “He’s got nothing to be jealous of, though,”

“I think he does,” Anakin says and you raise a brow as you drop your bag onto your bed. “You’re clearly one of the best students there. You write better than all of them, and that’s pretty obvious by the feedback you’re getting. He’s probably just pissed you’re getting all the attention.”

He almost sounded annoyed, and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was being petty. “You say that with such pride,” you say back.

The line goes quiet for a few seconds before he says in a monotone voice, “You know how proud of you I am,”

He says that, yet he wasn’t doing a very good job at showing it at all lately, but you didn’t want to call him out on it and have both him and Evan mad at you. “Yeah,” you trail off as you pull out your laptop. “Anyway, I miss your face. Can you video call me?”

“I can’t right now, baby, I’m heading to the venue soon,” he replied and you felt your heart deflate a bit. 

“Oh, okay,” you mumble and sit down at your small desk. You open your laptop and pull up the word document you’ve been working on for a week or so now as you add, “Have a good show then, Ani. I love you.”

“I love you, too, princess,” he said back then ended the call. 

You set your phone down with a sigh as you look around your empty room. Bailey had gone home for the weekend and Evan rejected your offer to hang out, and you were left to sit by yourself and forced to also have an early night. 

The next day you make it to campus for twelve thirty and stand by Kenneth as the fresh out of high school graduates walk around the Quad. You smile at the possible new students and hand out the sheets you were given that have the programs listed on them, your mind far away from where your body currently is. 

After a while of doing that, Kenneth turns to you with a small smile. “You doing okay?” He asked, making you look up at him. “You seem a bit quiet today.”

“Do I?” You ask back and look around the campus again. “I’m sorry, I’m just…I’m sorry.”

He laughs and takes the papers from you, setting them down on the table you were standing in front of before leaning against it. “That’s alright, Miss Y/l/n,” 

You look over at him and cross your arms. “I have a first name, you know,” you joke, leaning against the table as well. “Why do you always call me by my last name?” 

Kenneth shrugged as he smiled at one of the students. “Sounds more professional that way, doesn’t it?”

You also shrug as you look down at the grass. “Makes me feel old,”

“You are nowhere near being old,” he said and you laugh under your breath. “I just want to treat my students like the adults you all are. That doesn’t mean you’re old.”

Nodding, you gaze around at the teens who all seemed so excited to start the next chapter of their lives. You remembered when that was you, fresh out of high school with Anakin by your side as you tried to figure out what you wanted to do. Anakin had it all planned out, and it wasn’t long after that when he had managed to get himself a manager and secure a world tour at the age of twenty. 

Your eyes burned as you tried not to reminisce about those times. “Yeah, I guess,” 

Kenneth narrows his eyes at you and leans over a bit, “What’s going on with you, huh? What’s got you so quiet?”

You press your lips together and shrug, “I don’t know, I just…” you stutter and let out a frustrated sigh. “I guess I just feel left out…with my boyfriend. He’s out there living his life with some of the best guys I know by his side, and I….I’m just here. Alone.”

You weren’t sure why you were telling your instructor, out of all people, this, but you were quickly realizing that you needed an outlet. You needed someone to listen and needed a way to get your feelings out instead of bottling them up all the time. 

You give him an embarrassed smile and look away, not wanting him to think that you were just some weak girl who can’t function without her boyfriend. “I’m sorry, you…you don’t need to know about all that,” 

Kenneth shrugged. “I don’t mind being the person you vent to,” he said, surprising you a bit. “People think college is the worst time of their lives; you’re lonely, broke most of the time, stressed beyond belief. It shouldn’t be that way, at least I don’t think it should. And as for you, I think you’re doing great for someone who is supposedly alone. You have a really…real way with words, Miss Y/l/n. I think you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

You take in his words and realize that they’re probably the most supportive ones you’ve heard since you got here, and the fact that it was from your instructor and not your friends or boyfriend was a bit eye opening. 

“Thank you,” you say quietly, feeling your confidence deflate a bit as you begin to question if you were doing the right thing at this point in your life. 

“It’s okay,” he replied and stood up. “Come on, we have thirty graduates to inspire.”

You smile before following after him, still stuck in your own head about whether or not you are happy with how your life is going at the moment and also a bit worried that you had made a mistake.