#Anakin let his rage consume him! Which is bad! But also human! It's complicated!! He regrets his actions but also not but also he does!!
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The novelisation of the Phantom Menace has made me so incredibly sad, where little Anakin sees an injured Tusken and decides to disobey Watto to sit by the Raider until he wakes up. Anakin has such a deep, loving heart that he was willing to suffer the consequences of disobedience to make sure a Tusken Raider would be safe, a being he was taught all his life were brutal and cruel. And in this chapter, Anakin admits that the only thing that truly scares him, is of losing his mother. That juxtaposition, that note of I will care for this creature to I fear losing my mother, put so much more weight onto AOTC, and of Anakin's rage. He broke, and he lost himself to his rage. When faced with what he did, he rages against the world and his actions, before breaking down into further sobs at the loss of his mother and the actions he made. His worst fear was realised, and he became the monster that everyone claimed the Tuskens to be.
It'll be interesting to read the AOTC novelisation, to see if this scene is ever called back to. I just find it interesting, and further showcases the depths of Anakin's feelings and compassion, as well as the pitfalls that such strong emotions come with. For if you feel compassion and love as deeply as Anakin does, so will you feel the destructive nature of all of your rage. And that, that is Anakin's biggest weakness; he feels too strongly to ever truly control it.
#text_iris#I just love Anakin so much and this novel just makes me scream at how good it is#Anakin Skywalker#Star Wars#The Phantom Menace#Star Wars Meta#Like...I relate to the Feeling Too Strongly 'cos ADHD which has made my rage an overwhelming thing#The amounts of time I've lost myself to my rage are numerous and I understand too well how that can happen#Like. That rage where you just lose all sense of self? Yeah. As a kid I was...a ball of rage#Mellowed out with the years of course but still. It happened. It was real. And Anakin Skywalker as a character made me realise things#Like when I was younger I realised the reason why my rage was like that was due to the fact I felt so strongly#Any emotion I had would just consume me. ANY emotion. And I realised that by looking at Anakin meta#So...yeah. Anyway this novel is killing me with emotions already and I'm only on the seventh chapter#Anyway Anakin never relished his violence against the Tuskens instead he tried to work through what happened#What he did why he did it and HOW because?? He didn't want to he was a Jedi but he also wanted to HURT them for taking his mom#It's COMPLICATED and that's sooo good because it's REALISTIC and PAINFUL#Anakin let his rage consume him! Which is bad! But also human! It's complicated!! He regrets his actions but also not but also he does!!#Aaa so many emotions about this one eldritch lightning rod of a being
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