#Anakin angst

[altieris]

anakin skywalker is the kind of partner who cries when you cry. whether it be due to a loved one passing, a conflict between you and a friend, a sad movie, or just because. the moment he hears a choked sob escape your throat, your glossy eyes adamantly avoid his, and your sniffling between words, his heart shatters. he feels his own throat closing up, and he's already driven close to tears himself. he's quick to scoop you in his arms. and when you break down, he tries to contain himself, he really does. and he doesn't realize that tears have started streaming down his face until you look up at him and cup his cheeks. he doesn't let go of you, not even when the sobs stop racking your body. his grip on your figure is like that of a vice's, his face buried in your hair. he's so compassionate, responsive, only when it comes to you.

[bartxnhood]

i’m still your boy | a.s.w

anakin skywalker x fem!pregnant!reader

summary: after obi-wan tells you of your lovers betrayal, anakin seeks your forgiveness.

warnings: lots of crying, no happy ending, overall angst

w/c: 1.2k

a/n: hi guys ! i decided to test the waters with this fic. i know it’s short but i just wanted to see if i anyone would be interested in me writing for star wars. let me know! also, ive been working hard on the san francisco book, go check it out if you haven’t !

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2024 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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you stand overlooking the city but you can’t make out anything from the tears blurring your vision. your hand gently caresses your stomach, unable to fathom what obi-wan had just told you.

killing younglings? turning to the dark side? no. it’s impossible. how could your anakin, the chosen one, the one you had given everything up for? he couldn’t possibly do that to you.

you heart began swelling with an unfathomable amount of pain, your robes felt suffocating, and the room felt as if it was closing in on you. Suffocating your senses and making it difficult to breathe.

your heart races and your palms begin to feel sweaty, a sense of mounting anxiety washing over you as the words of obi-wan repeat in your mind.

the once cozy and familiar space now feels claustrophobic and oppressive, mirroring the turmoil within your mind and heart.

your hand clenches your chest, continuing to stare out the window as you hear footsteps approaching.

knowing it was anakin you didn’t look back to face him, you couldn’t possibly.

instead, you stood there, making out his stature in the reflection of the window.

“obi-wan has told me…horrible things..”

there’s a silence that feels the room, the tension growing by the millisecond. anakin looks at you through his eyebrows at the mention of his master, or; previous master.

though, anakin still looks at you with so much love and affection. a love so forbidden but anakin doesn’t care. he’s so full of love for you he’d do anything for you, including joining the dark side to protect you and the child.

he devoted his life to you and the force, but the premonitions, the nightmares, it was all too much for the mighty jedi.

anakin knows what he did, but you didn’t have to.

“do you believe him?”

you turn on your heels finally deciding to face him. he had an unreadable expression on his face as his eyes examined you. eyes taking in your beauty before trailing down to your swollen stomach. his heart does backflips at the thought of having a child, but he knows it would do no good if your life was in constant danger.

anakin needed to protect you. at all costs.

“i don’t know what to believe..” you mutter, eyes wavering with worry. cautiously, you take a few steps towards him. “did you?” you ask.

“i have to protect you.”

you shut your eyes as he confirmed your worries. your hand guides your body to the sofa, unable to stand much longer. the pain in your chest growing by the second. you can’t bring yourself to face him, not when he’s looking at you that.

“my love..” he coos, falling to his knees in front of you. his gruff hands feeling the soft touch of your silk gown. “please…this is all for you..” he whimpers, the tears staining his cheeks, he has so much love for you it’s turned him into something unrecognizable. evil. dark.

“to protect you,” he repeated. he needed you to know that he would walk through fire for you.

anakin couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you. the visions, the premonitions he was having. every night it felt so real, he was losing you every time he closed his eyes. every day he could feel you slipping away.

“no..” you mutter, your bottom lip begins to quiver at the sound of his voice. you shut your eyes tight, turning your head to face him, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“ani..if this is about your visions..” you begin looking into his eyes. the anakin you knew wasn’t there. this was someone else. “they’re not real..i’m right here..” she frowns, taking his face in her hands and wiping away the tears staining his cheeks with her thumb.

“i’m real, ani. i’m right in front of you.” you beg him. your eyes searching in his beautiful blue eyes only to notice they were the same eyes you fell in love with.

anakin doesn’t budge, he shakes his head. “n-no..i have to do this, i have to protect you..” his hands find yours on his face, his thumb caressing your knuckles. “i have to protect our little one” his hand moves down the sides of your body and rests on either side of your stomach. “i can’t..i won’t lose you, y/n.”

the heat from his hands radiate through your silk gown, almost a burning sensation on your stomach, protecting your child from whomever anakin has become.

you shift away from his touch, protecting your unborn child from his touch. “no..” your bottom lip quivers, a stray tear escaping your eye. your hands wrap around his wrists removing them from your stomach.

anakin panics, he’s becoming frantic. he’d do anything for you to follow him, to be with him. he needs you. “y/n, we could have everything we’d possibly want. we could rule the galaxy together.”

your brows furrow as you look into his eyes. “ani…i have everything i could possibly want. i have you, our little one, i don’t want to rule the galaxy.” you tell him, hoping he’d come to his senses.

“we could leave this place, go to the lake. no one would know..we could be at peace” you plea with him, staring into his eyes searching for anything. anything at all that would tell you he’d let go and leave with you. anakin doesn’t budge. he takes your hands in his again, hoping you’d see his reasoning. “you’re going down a path i can’t follow.” you whimper. your eyebrows knit together as you squeeze his hands. “you’re not the man i married, ani.” you sniffle.

anakins eyes flicker between yours, his brows furrows and his lips part. “he turned you against me..”

his voice was low but held so much anger and resentment to his master. holding anakin back, subsiding his powers, his voice. anakin would never become anything.

at least that’s what he thought.

anger fuels his emotions, he stands up from the floor and removes his hands from your grasp. his hands ball into fists by his side, taking in a deep breath and holding it in. his face twists, looking down on you.

you didn’t recognize him. this wasn’t the same man you awoke to this morning. this man was consumed by his anger, aggression, and fear.

anakin eyes you, “no. i won’t have this.” he says and turns away from you towards the exit, his hand hovering over his lightsaber.

every step be took was fueled by a fierce sense of determination, tinged with an undercurrent of aggression. mixed with a cold, burning hatred that seemed to radiate from his very being. as he walked away, her every movement was a testament to a man on the brink, with a fire burning in his soul that threatened to consume anyone who stood in her path.

“anakin!” you yell as your stand from the sofa, wanting him to stop and come to his senses but he doesn’t. instead, he flips the hood of his robes over his head and you watch his silhouette disappear.

you felt your stomach turn, thinking of the unimaginable. the stress of the situation was taking a toll on your body, and you felt a sharp pain in your stomach.

your hands instinctively went to your belly, a protective gesture as you tried to catch your breath.

your anakin, the chosen one, the one you loved with all your being was gone. the dark side had taken him from you and the child.

a broken sob escapes your throat as you fall back onto the sofa. you cover your mouth as you cry, unable to contain the sadness.

[stargirl-writes]

respite

pairing : f! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 2.2k

masterlist

summary

Amid the war, a healer and a soldier find themselves entangled in a delicate dance between love and survival. When exhaustion and unspoken wounds threaten to drive them apart, they must confront the weight of their fears, jealousy, and vulnerability—knowing that healing isn’t always about fixing what’s broken, but learning to hold on through the storm.

tags : angst, angst with a happy ending (!)

warnings : blood, tending to a wound

notes : hello my loves <3, 1 yr writing for a.s. and long story short all my energy was used trying to survive my medical internship. healer! reader is my most self indulgent coping mechanism— here's another angsty catastrophizing passage i'd like to share wit y'all hehe

Anakin Skywalker was a knife personified.

Sharp, blunt, useful. A touch can draw blood.

But despite the danger, he was made of steel— unrelenting and unyielding. One would make an effort to not stare too much— at what his purpose of being reveals; that in the hands of someone cruel, he becomes something of a weapon.

They say that the healer has the bloodiest hands— a permanent imprint of those you've saved and those you've failed.

You try not to think about it too much— your losses cannot equate to the priviledge of a chance to keep someone alive. That was a gift. Only a God can define salvation—what you're doing is an attempt.

But what did your fingers ever do before they held him?

All of it seemed to pale in comparison.

Maybe the sun has set differently in Coruscant, a place always buzzing with neon and noise— maybe you just stopped noticing it the way you stopped noticing him. You don't know why there remained a part of you that was mistrusting, waiting for him to grow tired with you. Instead, the jagged streaks of electric blue and searing magenta faded into something soft, casting a warm golden light that lingers even after the sun slips behind the horizon, refusing to ever dim.

It's both comforting and heartbreaking that over time you could forget holding onto something so sharp long enough to feel it slip— can leave a trail of blood.

The door to your quarter hisses open— and the weight of Anakin fills the room before he utters a word. His boots are heavy on the floor, dragging with a kind of exhaustion that sinks deeper than muscle and bone. Even his shoulders, which assumes the posture of a Jedi slumps forward. He pauses— gaze wide and apprehending.

His robes are dark with dust and sweat, blood smeared across the cuffs of his bionic arms— not his, someone else's. Always someone else's. He stands there too long, unmoving, as if having already read what's on your mind.

"You're hurt," You speak across the room.

"I'm fine."

His voice is low, flat, like all the life has been scraped out of it. You've seen this before, the wounds he carries aren't the ones stitched into his skin.

He turns on his heel, taking off his clothes. You step closer, noticing the slight wince as he tries to reach for his robes. He held a pose of defiance, unflinching even as you slowly took off the fabric that clung to his flesh. You pressed your palm against the soft skin of his shoulders, coaxing him to sit by the edge of the bed.

He lets out a sigh as the robe slips off. You turn to grab the medkit sitting at your bedside table— its existence a harsh reminder that anytime he comes home— so will the hurt that resides deep within him.

His eyes are hooded and dark as he follows your fingers gently press over a gash lining his chest. He sat still— either too tired to care or too numbed to feel it.

"You can't keep doing this, Anakin,"

He tilts his chin upward, "Doing what?"

You paused, eyes locking in a silent challenge as he kept playing asinine.

"Coming back half-dead and pretending it doesn't matter" You pressed the cloth over his wound, he hisses, flinching away.

He takes your wrist, eyebrows furrowed at your accusation. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Barely."

You seal the wound with a sterile band, the scar tissue will build thick and uneven, just like all pain that he refuses to touch buried deep underneath.

It's hard not to get frustrated to watch Anakin undo all the work you've done— that he would resort to passively allowing it to hurt. His skill with a saber is unquestionable, a droid won't be able to even come near him to inflict pain. As the war dragged on— he'd come home late at night appearing more and more injured. Perhaps it's his way to alleviate some guilt. Because he needs it to believe a sort of redemption— that he is not reduced to what was required of him.

A weapon. Unyielding. Unrelenting.

You turn to pack your materials back to the medkit— no longer able to stomach the tensed silences. You can't quite remember when it felt as though you've become one. Someone who deals death and someone who restores life. Where you began and where he ended was the most beautiful thread in the fabric of fate. There had only been one night—just one— where he let himself sleep, slumped against you in a rare moment of peace. You remember the way his breathing evened, slow and steady, as if for a few precious hours, the war has loosened his grip on him. And the room is blanketed with a sort of promise, that he'll be here for you as you were for him. And that also meant working through the difficult days where loving simply won't suffice.

It seems that the difficult days are outnumbering the ones where you both were happy. Thinking back at it makes you feel as if those days had been another lifetime ago.

He slumps down the bed, arms folded holding his head. "I've handed the 501st' command to Ahsoka, the mission in Mandalore is dragging on, I need her with me,"

He's always carried more than he should. Always assumed the weight of a galaxy, even when it would break him. Having your back against him made it easier to deliberately slow down your words to an unassuming casualness. "Without Obi-Wan?"

You go to Obi-Wan to fill the gaps of the chasm forming between you and Anakin, the ones only Obi-Wan seems to understand.

You turn to sit down beside him. You didn't need to access the force to feel the shift in the atmosphere.

"I haven't seen him in a while," His eyes were staring ahead— up at the ceiling. "So… how is Obi-Wan?"

There was an unmistakable edge to his words—tinged with bitterness and accusation.

"What?"

He chuckles hollowly. "I figured you'd know by now. You always run to him."

His sarcasm drips with an underlying insecurity. Obi-Wan, a person he looks up to, being more trustworthy than he was. He's trying not to sound accusatory but it's obvious that he's struggling with jealousy.

You open your mouth to say something. To defend your actions. What else could you have resorted to? When anytime you try to bridge that gap between you, he turns away. Your heart lodges in your throat— any attempt to explain just sounded as if you and Obi-Wan had been conspiring to manage him.

He straightens, balancing his weight against his arms, gaze demanding an answer. "Why do you keep going to him?"

"I'm not—"

He stands to his feet, tension rippling through his body like a coiled spring. "Yes you are! Every time you think something's wrong you look for him like I'm in need of fixing."

You clasp your fingers together— begging them to steady. "I'm only worried about you— you keep coming home changed like…"

"You're disappearing.“ You answered, "How long can you go on like this without breaking?"

There was a beat of silence. He rubs his temples, pacing bad and forth like staying still is the hardest thing he's ever done.

"And so what, you're going to keep patching me up thinking I'll be someone else?" "No," "—Then stop pretending that I am."

“I keep losing everyone, I can't lose you too." You utter as the guilt verbalizes.

His expression softens recognizing the vulnerability of your words. Something in him falters— just for a moment, a breath—and the weight of his exhaustion settles to his shoulders. He kneels down in front of you.

"You're not losing me," He says, quiter this time, as if he's convincing himself as much as you.

"It feels like it…"

He clasps his fingers over your hands, unraveling them. He opens his mouth to say something back—but then he stops. His head dips, the fight draining out of him. In the quietness, you could hear him pace his breaths with yours.

"You're not going to go through this alone anymore," He shifts closer, his bare chest leaving imprints on the skin of your knees. "Ahsoka will be on Mandalore while Obi-Wan takes Utapau, I'll stay here."

Your fingers slip through his hair, brushing it away from his forehead, tracing the uneven skin lining his face. He leans into your touch, and for a little while, the storm settles, just enough to let you both breathe.

He'll always be someone else's arsenal. He is yours. In a way that you wear his touch as a shield, his promises as hope from all the battles left to fight. He plants soft kisses on the palm of your hand, and a light ignites. Something eternal. Something that tells you that there are things worth holding on to—even when it hurts. You're not going to find the resolution tonight. But this was the beginning. That would have to be enough.

"I'm staying," He says as he presses his lips to your palm again, as if sealing the promise neither of you fully understands yet.

You nod, a smallest curve at the corner of your lips, for a fleeting moment, you feel him smile too.

It feels as though love will suffice. You knew he'd weave the fabrics of fate until it only spells your name. That he will tire, and it will not be easy.

"You know for someone who's fine, you're really bad at hiding pain."

Anakin's lips curved to a faint tired smirk— barely there, but real enough to make your heart lighten. He snakes his long fingers against your waist, pulling you closer until his warmth anchors you.

"Guess you must be rubbing off on me." He murmurs, voice rough with exhaustion, but there's a softness in it—like something broken finding a way to heal.

For a moment the weight lifts. It's not gone, not really, but the edges have dulled enough that you can hold him and not wince at the contact of him being pressed against you. Neither of you speaks again, nor moves again. In the dim of night, with senses dulled, the ordinary becomes profound. And— all of the terror slips away, for now. He no longer is someone that breeds horror. He is love. Made solely to be felt by you.

[leviathanspain]

anakin smut? where reader is having sexual fantasies about him and he can… feel… it ?🫣

ashamed

anakin skywalker x reader

smut

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you were loud. at least your thoughts were. anakin heard everything, from what you were going to eat for breakfast, to what clothes you’d wear to training.

anakin almost missed it. a small, fleeting thought that meaninglessly floated around in your head, and right into his.

he looks good today..

your thoughts had been heard before he even saw you, and as he turned, there you were, not even looking at him.

anakin’s mouth pulled back into a smirk and he continued to walk, not even bothering to greet you.

it was hard being around him. training had just finished and all you wanted was him. seeing his muscles under those training clothes had left you more than hot and bothered.

you were ravenous.

a jedi was never supposed to engage in any relationships. but it didn’t mean you couldn’t fantasize about it.

you laid on your bed, body worn out after all that training, anakin would be home soon, and he would want to unwind by using you. your body for his, you were willing to let him do whatever he wanted to you.

“hey babe..” his voice trilled as the door shut behind him, carefully you watched him, greeting him back with a smile. but he knew what kind of smile that was, and he was already unbuckling his pants as he walked up.

“what’s wrong?” he had noticed the way you didn’t move off the bed, the way you looked a little breathless. you shrugged slightly, “tough day training.”

anakin’s eyebrows rose, “oh.” you nodded, a small sigh escaping your lips. anakin neared the bed, crawling up by your legs, “maybe i can make you feel better.”

anakin stopped mid sentence. he could taste it. taste something, familiar yet wildly different. anakin dismissed himself from the room full of his superiors and instead went out into the empty hall.

he could feel it. you.

it was you.

anakin inhaled sharply as he felt something graze his crotch, a hand that wasn’t even physically there.

and there was that taste again.

“oh ani..” you moaned out, your words echoed into the room and anakin growled softly, tugging at himself as he lined up with your hole. he had been taking care of you for almost an hour now, fucking you with his mouth until you screamed his name.

now he promised that you wouldn’t dare to forget it.

anakin was slumped down in his room. he had left upon feeling his pants tighten with the size of his erection. now all he could do was trade reality for fantasy as he felt everything you had thought.

he felt it all, and it all left him wanting the real thing. if that’s how you thought about him…

“anakin! don’t stop!” you cried out, gripping his forearms as he thrusted into you, your head crashing into the wall behind you, you groaned softly, “fuck..”

you were writhing on your bed, eyes closed as you let your fantasy play out.

“oh ani!”

a knock suddenly broke your thoughts and you turned, embarrassed, but you got up, knowing they would have no way of knowing what you had been doing.

picturing your jedi master in that way? incred-

“anakin!” the unexpected sight of him at the door, sweating, disheveled, and his robes barely hanging on, he stomped into the room before you could even ask why he was there.

“why didn’t you tell me you wanted me to fuck you?” there it was. it was like nails on a chalkboard.

“what?” your face got red immediately, heat burned on it and you laughed weakly, closing the door, you walked over to him, but you kept your distance, “what are you talking about?”

anakin rolled his eyes, “don’t try and lie to me. i could hear you, i could feel you. i need this to end-“ your face turned into a grimace and you closed your eyes with absolute shock at the revelation, “just let me fuck you. i cant-“ anakin pulled his robes back and highlighted his cock, which was fighting the fabric.

you stared at anakin, “but-“

anakin didn’t even bother to say anything more as he pulled you into his arms, kissing you swiftly as he threw you down.

“don’t be ashamed.”

[she-was-a-goddess]

im sorry- but im only looking at ur ti—es rn 😩

respectfully

[cosmicanakin]

hi kari baby. i’m feeling sad bc of a boy (i need to stop dating them and remember i’m bisexual) but i was wondering if i could request an anakin fic where reader is like “i feel like love is an inside joke that everyone else is in on” and anakin is like i love you and i don’t just need you i want you and love can be our joke and we’re laughing together. i just really need hurt/comfort right now.

ִ𓂃 ⋆ LOVE'S COSMIC JEST

੭୧ . . . anakin skywalker x female!reader.

ᯓ the love you and anakin have for each other becomes your new favorite punchline.

warning(s) emotional vulnerability┆self doubt┆mild angst┆ fluff. 𓇼 dedicated to my ALLY @spcncershasting. sorry if i took AGES to write this request for you, baby! but it's finally here. love u smmm — mi preciosa amor.

　✧⠀ ⠀⠀　𓈒　⠀⠀ ⠀૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ꪆৎ masterlist.

you find yourself staring out into the vastness of space, the swirling stars and distant galaxies a reflection of the confusion within you. LOVE, you've always thought, is a joke that everyone else was in on. it's as if the universe itself is laughing, and you're the only one not hearing the punchline.

you're on a ship, the hum of the engines a steady background to your thoughts. anakin is beside you, his presence both comforting and unsettling. he's an enigma, a whirlwind of contradictions that somehow makes perfect sense.

"what's on your mind?" he asks, his voice soft, yet it cuts through your reverie like a lightsaber through the dark.

"love," you admit, almost whispering. "i feel like it's a joke everyone else understands, but not me."

there's a pause, and you can feel his gaze on you, intense and searching. "you think it's a joke?"

"an inside joke—" you clarify. "—one that i'm having a hard time grasping."

he leans closer, his eyes full of a warmth that makes your heart skip a beat. "i love you," he says simply. "and i don't just need you, i want you."

the sincerity in his voice is undeniable. it's like a light piercing through the fog of your doubts, illuminating the path you didn't know you were searching for.

"love can be our joke," he continues, a playful smile tugging at his lips. "something only we understand. and this way, we're laughing together."

his words wrap around you, a comforting embrace in the coldness of space. it's as if he's offering you a lifeline, a way to be part of something bigger than yourself.

"anakin," you murmur, your voice barely a breath. "how do you make it sound so easy?"

he chuckles, a sound that resonates with warmth. "because with you, it is easy. everything else fades away, and it's jus' us, sweetheart."

you pull away to face him, seeing the truth in his eyes. there's no deception, no hidden agenda. just the honest, raw emotion that you've been yearning to find.

"i want that," you admit, the words tumbling out like a confession. "i want love to be our joke."

he reaches for your hand, his touch grounding you, anchoring you to the moment. "then let's make it ours," he says, his voice a promise.

you nod, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. feeling as if the universe has shifted, finally aligning in your favor, allowing you to finally hear the laughter you thought was beyond your grasp.

together, you and anakin sit in silence, the stars your only witness. it's a quiet moment, yet filled with a profound understanding that transcends words.

"you know," he says after a while, a teasing lilt in his voice, "i never knew love could be this... fun."

you laugh, the sound surprising you. it's genuine, a real laugh that bubbles up from within, a reflection of the joy you feel.

"who knew?" you reply, grinning. "love, an inside joke that makes sense."

anakin squeezes your hand, his smile mirroring your own. "and it's our secret," he says. "one we'll keep laughing about."

as you watch the stars drift by, you realize that maybe, just maybe, love isn't about understanding everything. maybe it's about finding someone who makes the confusion worthwhile, someone who turns the chaos into something beautiful.

with anakin by your side, you feel like you've finally found your place, your understanding of the joke that is LOVE.

and it's a punchline worth waiting for.

[babypinkhearts]

spare me this - anakin skywalker

pairing: anakin skywalker + fem!reader

summary: the council assigns you on a deathly solo mission, forbidding anakin to join you.

warnings: angst (i don’t know what is wrong with me!! i am addicted to writing it now), mentions of injury and death, anakin is so sweet and sosososo in love it’s almost pitiful, fluff

a/n: i feel like i put a part of my soul in this. i feel so drained but finishing this feels SO rewarding. another day for firsts! this is my first time writing for anakin, or anything star wars related :) this has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS. i figured, while i still feel motivated to write, let me finish this!!! hope you all enjoy <3 i loved writing it

“three days.” you repeated faintly.

you disliked how quiet anakin was at times. it often left you more troubled than relaxed.

you frowned when he didn’t look at you from his stubborn stare at the ceiling. sighing softly, you mimicked his eyes and looked upwards, your neck rested against the headboard of the bed.

“we will come back victorious, and we will be right here. together again.”

the night before your mission’s departure, you slept in anakin’s room. it would have been much easier to ignore him, act like he didn’t exist for a while. the two of you were far too dependent on one another. the love sometimes felt overwhelming.

however, anakin’s fear was far too evident. it was strong - too strong to the point where you genuinely believed someone else could detect it. you decided that if you could soothe his worries, he’d be relieved of his thoughts.

but anakin didn’t speak. he refused, and his body simply forbid him from trying. not a touch or word was directed at you. it had almost been an hour of pure silence.

unbeknownst to you, there was a helpless feeling of uncertainty that anakin could clearly sense from you. that was what was driving him crazy.

bloodshed was a promise, you already knew it. your master had spoken grimly about the mission, and it was anakin who realized - much quicker than you - that this battle would not end seamlessly.

there was a large, if not, inevitable chance of you coming back alarmingly injured.

you were calculated, strong, and reliable. it was you who the council had chosen to lead the mission.

they were selfish, anakin believed.

“obi-wan knows this will kill me.”

anakin bleakly spoke, his voice muffled by the blanket he had brought up to his face. you decided against expressing your surprise to the sound of his voice.

while obi-wan had no idea about the true nature of your relationship with anakin, he was aware that you served as each other’s weaknesses. jedi code called for the banishment of any attachments, though obi-wan knew he himself had begun to break them when he started to form a brotherly bond with his once-padawan. he held no room for judgement.

while you hadn’t spent nearly as much time with him as anakin had, you felt very fond of him. there was a certain soothing atmosphere that only seemed to arrive in his presence.

secretly, obi-wan had pulled you aside mere hours after your mission was announced. his voice was low as he spoke, and he had gently held your arm the entire time.

“you come back within your scheduled arrival, and everything will be fine. i cannot promise you we will be at ease if you take longer.”

and, of course, through unknowing ears this was a simple comment - a statement of encouragement, really. but it was a completely different story when you could see the true intentions in his words.

anakin would not be at ease, is what he had wanted to say.

and obi-wan was right. from the moment you explained your mission to anakin, he had gone silent. you had been in your room, slowly walking in circles as you counted the tasks you were required to fulfill on your journey.

you hadn’t noticed how awfully pale your jedi had become.

now in present, you realized he had never left his stage of shock.

anakin hated this. he hated how guilty he felt for the resentment he had towards your capabilities. you had impressed the council too much, and it had put you in a dangerous position. he hated how careless you tried to sound, and he hated how you only gave the reply of “yes, master” when being told the instructions of your suicide mission. most importantly, he hated how he was forbidden to join you.

“how do i live? how do i function when you could be dead at any moment?”

you froze, eyes widening.

anakin’s words were cold, and you fought the urge to feed into his frighteningly grim thoughts.

pursing your lips briefly, you forced a smile, brushing back his hair from his forehead. anakin was laying on his back, eyes still narrow and focused upwards. you tried to keep the mood light, attempting to add a little amusement to calm the tense atmosphere his question had made.

“we’re both aware i’m capable enough to handle myself. i used to beat you during training, and i saved you from-“

your playful smile faded, and you gave up talking once you realized he had started to look up at you.

anakin knew you were strong. he didn’t need to hear your reassurance, especially when he knew even you were undoubtedly terrified.

for a while, he just stared at you. it wasn’t intimidating - he could never direct an emotion like that at you - but you felt exposed, almost as if you should shield your face.

anakin felt troubled, trying to piece together all his discomforting emotions clearly. to have you so close seemed to be a punishment. you shouldn’t be here. he shouldn’t be seeing the worry in your eyes, or watching the slight furrow of your brows. although, there was something so beautiful about your concern. he wasn’t made to feel these kinds of emotions, especially ones that one mere person could provide.

for a moment, he wished he didn’t know you. selfishly, he knew that would relieve him of the pain.

“anakin,”

his name that only ever sounded right when you said it.

“what’s the matter, ani?”

there were no protests made when you moved closer to him. the security and serenity he felt with your arms around him made it feel impossible to refuse.

anakin trusted you with his life. he’d give you his life in a heartbeat. he’d do anything for you. and yet - why couldn’t you help him believe you would be okay on this mission? it was cruel, picking on his one and only weakness. his heart, which you held so effortlessly. his mind consisted of you, you, you.

with a shaky sigh, he spoke.

“you’re scaring me.” he quietly admitted.

his eyes were glossy, nearing a depressive red. his stare was piercing. you weren’t sure you wanted his attention anymore.

confused, though mostly alarmed, you continued to look back at him. scaring him?

“you think you’re going to die, don’t you?”

your eyes widened, and suddenly you felt very vulnerable being in front of him.

“anakin - what?” you stumbled out, shaking your head in surprise. he couldn’t be serious. you attempted to talk, reassure him that you would be fine, but his gaze was unfocused. he didn’t want to listen to your futile words. anakin knew you better than anyone else.

“please, do not lie to me.” he whispered, and in that particular moment, you had never seen him so small. “spare me that.”

anakin skywalker, the reckless jedi who consistently charmed his way through trouble. someone who was so spontaneous, yet brilliant.

love kept him going. it wasn’t unrequited. he knew that more than anything. love got him up in the morning. love was adrenaline. love was everything and so much more.

he couldn’t bare losing it.

“i-“ you shook your head again, pausing briefly to lay beside him. a hand was placed on his cheek, and you caressed his face gently.

anakin’s eyes closed, and once more he felt a wave of anger pass through him. he hated the council, he hated the jedi. he hated everything to do with this. they were trying to take you from him. your sweet touches, your soft voice, your caring nature. he felt so bitter it hurt.

you pursed your lips, letting a sigh escape you.

“i will tell you this.“ you whispered, cupping a hand around his soft face. “i am scared. i act like i am not because that is what i must do.”

for the past couple of hours, anakin had assumed that hearing you admit your fear out loud would put his mind at ease. maybe, if you admitted you weren’t invincible, he could convince you to take extra care of yourself.

but your words had the opposite effect on him.

you were scared. and he wouldn’t be there to help.

“i cannot promise you i’ll be unscathed, anakin, but i can promise that i will come back to you.”

it took everything in you to not break in front of him.

you forbid him from continuing the conversation further after that.

when the morning you had dreaded arrived, you silently awaited for a signal on your commlink to commence your departure.

you had left anakin, quietly pleading for him to stay optimistic during your absence. he had helped you get dressed. his touch was like a feather, gently escorting you to a hell you could only hope would be generous to you.

weapons were hidden under your robes, as usual. two lightsabers, because you had learned from anakin years ago that an extra could never hurt.

you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt possibly felt guilty.

anakin had trained you, hoping that an increase in your skill would payoff on the battlefield to solely keep you safer when he wasn’t around.

but you had surpassed his expectations. and now, you were in this position.

it had been an honor to be praised so highly. though, you quickly found that, in reality, it was not something to completely look forward to. anakin’s worry being the main reason.

when your commlink finally sounds off, you waste no time in leaving.

three days, you had claimed to anakin.

when you finally return, a week had gone by.

and just like you had repeated to anakin so many times before - you were victorious.

though, not unscathed.

“medical-“ you breathed heavily, your hand glued to your side as you stepped out of your starfighter, your heart pounding in upmost fear as you realized your vision had begun to blur.

you couldn’t tell who grabbed you first. it wasn’t anakin, you knew that by muffled noise of calm reassurance. if anakin were here, he would have the entire building burned to the ground in seconds. if it weren’t for the excruciating pain you felt everywhere, you could have chuckled at the thought.

“requesting medical attention - yes, this is urgent.”

blinking as quickly as you could, which looked evidently labored, you watched as obi-wan spoke through his commlink.

yours had broken days ago, leaving you stranded with no communication. retreating was never an option in your mind, and you stupidly had fought until your mission had succeeded.

the consequences of your actions truly haunted you as you were lifted on to a table, the strong scent of medication telling you that, yes, your wound was as bad as it felt, if not worse.

and finally, the mask put over your mouth lulled you to a more painless state of sleep.

upon the first few seconds of opening your eyes, you tried to immediately close them again.

of course, anakin was right next to you.

you heard him jolt in his seat, repeatedly calling your name as if you would die if he stopped. his voice sounded hoarse. gently, you reached your arms out, silently begging for him to touch you. you needed his embrace. you can not have gone through all this effort for nothing. he was why you had tried so hard to survive. without a word, anakin complied to your silent request. his hands cupped your face, while yours did the same to him.

his chest was shaking with uneven breaths.

“i made it back - just like i said, right?” you spoke quietly, smiling through a wince. joking was never the way to handle serious situations with anakin, but fuck, you really couldn’t handle how broken he looked.

he didn’t smile. he hadn’t taken your eyes off of you, almost as if you would disappear the second he looked away.

“don’t ever do this to me again.”

you quickly stopped speaking at his tone. unstable and hurt. you can’t promise that to anakin. it would be selfish. you help people - your mission had hopefully saved thousands. what is one life to lose if it can save so many more? you’re skilled, why not use your potential for something extraordinary?

“leave the order with me.”

your eyes widen, bigger than you mean them to.

“i-i can’t do that.” you reply immediately, shaking your head in his gentle grasp. leaving the order was nearly unspoken of - all of these years training, dedicating your life - what would it have been for? you can’t leave. people need you - the galaxy needs you.

you would have anakin, but could you live with yourself? all these years, you’ve been taught to be selfless, so why is anakin proposing such an idea?

you’re sure he can see the conflict on your face.

“you almost died.”

his bluntness forces to you remember the stinging pain on your side. you shake your head.

“that’s a part of the job.” you speak firmly. “i would be injured a hundred times over if it meant someone won’t be.”

anakin immediately lets go of your face.

“listen to me,”

it’s nearly a full-body sob, and you watch as he stands straighter, attempting to compose himself.

you feel your heart drop to your stomach.

“you’re hurting me - i don’t care if i’m being selfish! i love you. i love you more than anything, and i know i cannot live without you.”

anakin skywalker’s love for you was almost pitiful. he himself nearly couldn’t stand it. how can one person cause so much heartache? why is it possible to care for someone as much as he does for you? his outburst was childish, and he’s aware. but he needs you to see him, so raw, so authentically. maybe if you could see the pain he was in, you would spare him more easily.

“anakin…” you whispered, so quietly you almost doubted he heard you.

the reality was, you tended to push anakin away. you were hesitant to love him. you felt greedy whenever you allowed yourself to love him so deeply. you were meant to serve others, not have feelings of your own. anakin was your weakness, and that scared you more than anything. if you were going to be powerful enough to save millions, it would be foolish to have a flaw.

but, clearly, anakin didn’t care about weaknesses. he had you, and loved you with open arms, and despite this, he preformed better than you in nearly everything. how does he manage?

“i love you too much.” his voice was defeated, and the anger he had previously held dissipated. “obi-wan saw me sulk after the three days. he stopped me from seeing you when you arrived.”

you nodded slowly. it made sense, you couldn’t imagine the scene that would have occurred if it had been anakin carrying your half-conscious body. anakin skywalker reacted according to his feelings. he was spontaneous.

you sighed quietly.

“i would never leave the order, anakin. i wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” you spoke, and winced as you visibly saw him tense.

you had to be honest with him.

reaching a hand out, you grabbed his, gently interlocking your fingers.

“but, i can promise you that i will never take a mission like that. it was reckless, i know. i’m so sorry.”

he didn’t speak, taking a seat on your bed.

he was unsatisfied, you knew that.

but you couldn’t change the entire trajectory of your life for him just because he worries you’ll get hurt. it would be wrong, and you know, though he won’t say it out loud, anakin agrees with you.

he allows himself to give into desires. it’s not because he feels he’s “deserving” of them, but because it’s something that comes so natural to him. so why must it be wrong to love you?

anakin is confident with your abilities. he knows how strong you are. but it’s second-nature for him to worry. you’re something so precious to him in this world of despair.

so he’ll stay silent and let you do whatever you please. he cannot hold you back, and he’s now painfully aware of it. but, he can help you.

more trainings, better advice, and more time.

you have each other, and he is satisfied with that forever.

[sollis-occasum]

a night like this - anakin skywalker x fem!reader

summary: you kept saying that everything was over between the two of you but anakin kept coming back to you every time.

warnings: angst, no use of y/n, insecurity, jealousy, miscommunication, mention of blood and injury, quinlan vos beheads a bounty hunter (just one sentence and it's not in detail either), mention of a vomiting twi-lek, reader is working in a pub, no proofread

word count: 1.7k

a/n: i haven't decided yet but i may write a few more parts to this story. i hope you like it guys. please don't mind the english mistakes, i'm not a native speaker.

Being injured was not unusual for Anakin Skywalker, but he could never remember feeling so vulnerable before.

As he moved, his battle-weary body convulsed with a kind of pain he had never felt before, reopening wounds that had begun to close, filling his nostrils with the metallic scent of blood. If your delicate sighs had not mixed with his moans from his blood-soaked lips, the pain he was in would have caused him to lose all sense of time and space. But how could he have allowed this to happen as you gently ran your hands over his face, wiping away the sweat from his forehead? This was perhaps the last time you would welcome him into this house where you had created so many precious memories together, and Anakin wanted to engrave everything from that night deep in his mind. Every sound, every image, every detail...

You had tried to tell him hundreds, maybe thousands of times before that everything between you was over, that you belonged in two different worlds. Anakin Skywalker was a young Jedi fighting to ensure that the light side of the Force prevailed over the darkness in the galaxy. You were just an ordinary barmaid working in a seedy pub in a backstreet of Coruscant. Unlike Anakin, your life was not full of fearless warriors and nobles with endless wealth, but of hardened criminals, addicts, and bounty hunters. How could you trust him and open your heart to him when he had been trained to fight the people you considered your family for almost his entire life?

And your experiences were very different, too. Anakin had traveled to planets you had never even heard of before, and met people you could never even see on the HoloNet. Some nights when you couldn't sleep, you would ask him to talk, to tell you things, thinking that hearing his soft voice would help you drift off. He would tell you stories from his missions. Sometimes these stories took place on a mountain on Alderaan, sometimes in an underwater city on Naboo. Usually, the people who accompanied Anakin on these planets were just as interesting as the mission itself. Master Jedi, senators, stormtroopers, sometimes even Chancellor Palpatine himself...

These stories that you listened to with great excitement at first, started to create a thin ache in your heart that even you didn't want to accept. You knew that Anakin had no bad intentions, that he just wanted to share something with you, but no matter what you did you couldn't resist the jealousy that was trying to take over your soul. Knowing that there is another life somewhere outside of this swamp you were trapped in and that you could only hear about it from others was driving you crazy inside.

Sometimes Anakin would ask you questions about your life, but you would either ignore them or leave them unanswered. You had no intention of appearing mysterious or keeping secrets. You just didn't have stories that would interest someone like him who had seen the entire galaxy. What were you going to tell him? Do you know, Anakin, today a Jedi named Quinlan Vos came to our pub and cut off the head of a bounty hunter with his lightsaber. The man's head fell into the lap of one of the stripper Twi-leks and she started throwing up. I had to clean up the vomit along with the blood on the walls. What a beautiful day, isn't it?

No, no... You would rather remain silent for the rest of your life than endure Anakin's pitying gaze as he listened to these. At least that way you wouldn't have lost your self-respect.

You took a deep breath to clear your mind and turned your gaze to Anakin lying on your bed. He looked so innocent and defenseless with his wounded state that your heart ached for him. You wanted to protect him from all the evil in the universe by hiding him in your house, which was a temple of memories for you, but how could you do that when you didn't even have the strength to protect yourself? The only good thing you could do for him was to get out of his life before you could hurt him any further. You tucked a lock of hair that had fallen onto his forehead behind his ear and muttered in a voice you could barely hear, "You shouldn't have come here, Anakin." You tried to make your voice sound firm and determined, but you couldn't stop it from shaking.

The young Jedi tried to sit up in bed, but couldn’t. He winced in pain and slowly lowered himself onto the headboard. He pressed his mechanical hand to the wound on his abdomen, as if the coldness of the metal would ease the pain. You placed your hand over his and began to gently stroke the metal surface with your thumb. Even though he couldn’t feel your touch, the gesture always soothed him. When you realized that having a cybernetic hand embarrassed him, you started doing it to show him that you loved everything about him, and over time it had become a habit. To Anakin, this robotic hand might have been a symbol of his weakness but to you, it was just a part of the man you loved.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a burden to you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ani, you’re not a burden to me. You couldn’t be even if you wanted to.” You slowly removed his hand from his wound, as if you were afraid of hurting him, and kissed it. “What I was trying to say was that the Jedi at the temple could take better care of you. You know, with spells and all that.”

"Jedi don't do magic, they use the Force." He smiled for the first time since he had come to you. You shrugged, smiling. "They're all the same to me. I'm not sensitive to any of them anyway."

Your smiles and chuckles were not enough to break the serious air in the room. You had to stop for a few seconds and gather your courage to continue speaking. Your eyebrows were slightly furrowed in the meantime, and your lips were drawn into a thin line. A sadder expression than Anakin had ever seen appeared in his eyes, reflected by the moonlight. The wrinkles on your forehead made you look like you had aged a few years in a few seconds.

"But we can't keep doing this, Anakin. You know that too. You can't come to me every time. We've talked about this many times before."

Anakin tried to get closer to you, but the burns and wounds were hurting him so much that he couldn't. He leaned back once more, taking deep, raspy breaths, and unconsciously began to squeeze the old sheet. Despite the pained expression on his face, he neither blinked nor took his gaze away from yours. You knew that by looking directly into you eyes, he was trying to see something deep inside your soul. Maybe a trace of the affection you had only ever felt for him, or maybe a glimmer of hope that you would never give up on him... But he could see nothing but determination on your face, blurred by his misty eyes.

“Don’t do this to us,” he said in a pleading voice. The tears he had been trying to hold back had finally started to flow down his cheeks. With a quick movement, he pulled his mechanical hand from yours and wiped his face, hoping that you hadn’t seen them. He hated the power you had over him.

“Don’t give up on us like this.”

When you saw Anakin’s wet eyelashes, you felt an overwhelming desire in your heart to pull him close to you, to lay him on your chest, to caress the soft hair he had grown for your sake while he cried and tell him that everything would be okay, but you couldn’t do it. You knew that the moment you showed weakness, your ex-lover would draw strength from your hesitation and try to fight against your inevitable end. You did the only thing you could do and shook your head, hiding behind your cold expression. "I have no choice, Ani."

"I love you, does that mean nothing to you?" The sadness in his eyes was giving way to anger, but his voice was so weak that he could not convey his rebellion to you.

"Of course that means something." you said in a calm tone, almost mocking his anger. "I love you too, but I will not allow you to waste your life on a relationship that has no future. If you are so determined to go against the Jedi Code, you should at least do it for someone worthy. Senator Amidala, for example. She is a beautiful and noble woman, and it is clear that she has feelings for you. She can use her power and position to help you. I will only be a hindrance."

"Nonsense," Anakin snapped. "Padme is nothing more than a trusted friend to me. You are the only person I need to continue. I can fight the whole galaxy as long as you're by my side."

You sighed slightly and got out of bed. “We won’t have this conversation again, Anakin. My decision is final and there is nothing you can do to make me change my mind.”

You knew you were doing the right thing for both of you, but why did it hurt so much? Why did the right choice always require such sacrifices?

You bid Anakin a last farewell with an innocent kiss on the lips and started walking towards the old wooden door of the room. You could feel the salty taste of your lovers tears on your lips.

“Stay the night here and get some good rest. But I don’t want to see you here when I get home from work tomorrow.”

Those were the last words you said to Anakin before you left the room and his life forever. “This can’t be the end of us,” he muttered as he looked at your shrinking figure. He started to tangle his fingers in his hair that you had been gently stroking a few minutes ago and started to squeeze it. He shook his head violently from side to side as if denying the cruel words echoing in his mind.

"I swear I will find a way to fix everything and bring you back to me."

[heartofmortis]

✧ exile (what a ghostly scene)

. *. ⋆ Anakin / Vader x Reader

summary: you were bail organa’s ward, raised on alderaan with your younger sister. in the twilight of the clone war, you and anakin fell in love. when the war died, it dragged you and anakin to early graves with it — leaving only darth vader behind. even after years without you, he still wants you back. and there is nothing he would not do to bring you back to him. . .

tags: angst, tragic romance, suitless vader, no y/n, gn reader, inspired by the 2020 vader comics & vader immortal, past major character death, mourning, vader needs a hug, resurrection

note: my first reader/second person fic — i’m sorry if the tense is bad ajsjwjwjqjq. i’ve had this in my drafts for soooo long and i finally decided to finish it 🫶

word count: 1k

part 1 of 4

The stars have died, fizzling out into oblivion. All that remains is a charcoal heart that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker.

The boy from Tatooine is unreachable now, trapped inside the twisted soul of Darth Vader. The galaxy’s beloved Hero With No Fear is gone. With the rise of the Empire, the Jedi and their sympathisers will be erased from memory. A clean slate to start a new era.

Three years after the creation of the Empire, Darth Vader stands alone. His tower on Mustafar is isolating; its strategic position is a constant reminder of that day. His injuries still hurt sometimes: phantom itches on his now metal legs; scars from his burns that did not fully heal. The medical droids say he is lucky — the fire could have done more serious damage, and he could have been forced to rely on a suit keeping him alive for the rest of his days. Instead, the ebony coloured mask and suit he wears are to conceal his identity. A precaution so that Anakin Skywalker can fade from people’s tongues and memory, leaving the tyranny of Darth Vader in its place.

The weight of his failures is not the heaviest burden. Darth Vader drowns in his anger and grief. He was not strong enough to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was not strong enough to save you.

(All things die. Even stars burn out.)

You were the stars in his sky, his light in the dark, the silvery moon to his blazing sun. So tender and kind. Perhaps your heart was too good for this world. Perhaps, it was your weakness all along. (How could peace ever love a dragon?)

Since you met, you had been Anakin’s sun. You anchored him; guided him home. You were his destiny. And, without you, the galaxy had turned cold. The fiery world outside, all hot air and lava fields, only stood as a reminder of his failure. He’d lost you. After everything Anakin had tried — surrendering himself to the dark side, betraying the light — he could not save you. Time had not quelled the pain.

Vader wonders if you would still recognise him. His copper hair has grown longer (he remembers how you used to cut it for him after he returned from another mission, and you’d giggle as you braided thin locks together), but his face hides behind an obsidian mask. You always loved the blue of Anakin’s eyes, but now they are blazing amber.

Mornings are the only time Vader allows himself to dwell on the past. It is when he finds himself alone and does not have to hide.

Vader recalls how you arrived on Mustafar like it was yesterday. (You haunt him every waking moment.) He could sense your conflicted emotions as soon as you disembarked your ship. Vader wasted no time approaching you, drawing you into his arms (where you belonged; where you were safe). His lips reconnected with yours, fitting together like puzzle pieces as he kissed you hungrily, his hands settled on your hips to keep you close.

You and Anakin had met after turning nineteen. He and Obi-Wan were called to Alderaan to protect the Queen and Viceroy from an assassination attempt. Being their ward, you had been there the whole time and quickly formed a connection with the young padawan — your relationship had blossomed during the Clone Wars.

He rested his forehead against yours as you spoke. “I heard terrible things. Tell me none of it is true.”

Vader hadn’t replied immediately and instead drew his head back to look at you. He would tell you any sweet lie if he needed to as he fought to quell the anger flaring in his eyes. “What have you been told?”

“Obi-Wan told me—”

Vader’s grasp around you tightened protectively. “Obi-Wan is alive?”

“He said you’d killed Jedi. Killed younglings.”

“You must not believe him, my love. He’s a traitor.”

It wasn’t the answer you sought, and you took a step backwards out of your husband’s grasp. “What have you done?”

“I did this for you. To save you.” He cupped your chin in his flesh hand and whispered your name. “I love you.”

Your eyes trained into his. There was no denial, no remorse in his stature; his only regret was letting Obi-Wan tell you anything.

He repeated his words. “I did this for you.”

From the shadows of your cloak, you drew a blaster. Only a small, weak thing. Vader watched your hands tremble. He did admire your courage. “Fix this,” you demanded. “Please,” you begged.

Anger flickered in Vader’s eyes. He had never seen you unimpressed with him. With an easy glide of his hand, Vader used the Force to knock the blaster out of your grip and pin your arms by your sides

“I am stronger than the Chancellor now,” he explained desperately, drawing you to his side. “I can overthrow him. Then you and I can be together; we can run away — just like you always wanted to.”

(But you didn’t. He lost you. Some might call you a traitor — Vader maintains that you were misguided.)

Three years later, regret still festers inside Vader’s hollow soul. There must have been a way to save you.

He misses you endlessly: craving your touch and the sound of your voice. (There is nothing Vader desires more than to have you back in his arms.)

Part of him wants to forget. To cast his memories of you into an abyss; to put the past behind him. But it is an impossible task. You are too well tangled into his soul. You haunt him. (And you’ll haunt him until his death.)

Today, there is no time to focus on you. A new morning brings meetings and training. You were Anakin’s Achilles Heel — but Darth Vader shows no such weakness. As Vader sits on his throne, reading over mission logs and other updates from the spread of the Empire across the galaxy, he receives a message: he must make his return to Coruscant immediately. (Your memory pulls him under the ocean again until he can no longer breathe.)

[sabictlali]

Can you imagine the twins carrying the koalas/dogs(? and Anakin nervous about they being bitten? Obviously while Obi Wan finds it funny how Anakin is a mother goose

[cookybananas]

Do I Know You? Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader {Part. II}

author's note: here is part two aka the final chapter to my alternate universe/timeline!au fic. I wasn't expecting to release this chapter so late, but here it is!

summary: Where Darth Vader is sent on a mission and finds himself traveling through another timeline and meets another version of you were you aren't dead. part I: Do I Know You? I

Obi-Wan took his saber off his belt and held it firmly in his grasp now. "Let's try this one more time. You will leave at once and return to where you once came." Obi-Wan stated.

Vader's demeanor shifted. The dark side influencing him to become more angry by the moment. He grew impatient at this, other Obi-Wan, standing in his way between his wife once again. With a hiss of his helmet, Vader's helmet was back on his head again. His vision now giving him the advantage to see in the dark penthouse.

"You will not take her away from me, again." Darth Vader's mechanical voice boomed as he lit his red lightsaber. "You will surrender her over to me alas."

"Oh I don't think so." Obi-Wan lit up his blue lightsaber as he got into his fighting position.

-

I stirred around in my bed. Something felt off, I could feel it in my stomach. My eyes shot opened at the faint sound of what sounded like lightsaber clashing.

Artoo had awaken from his rest state and beeped quietly at me, telling me that there was something or someone was here.

I stuck my hand under my pillow to pull out my handy blaster. I haven't needed to use it yet, but it was a precaution in situations like this. I got out the bed and cracked the door open ajar.

"Someone's here Artoo." I whispered to him, to which he quietly beeped in response.

I opened the door wider, only to see Obi-Wan's blue lightsaber clashing with a red lightsaber.

"There is no need to resist me." A deep, mechanical voice spoke. "Search your feelings Obi-Wan, only then you will know that I was once your appreintience, Anakin Skywalker."

I raise up my blaster, trying to find the person Obi-Wan was fighting, but it didn't help that it was dark and I couldn't tell who was who and what I would be aiming at specifically.

After moments of locking on the person Obi-Wan was fighting, I took a shot at what looked like his torso. A booming mechanical cry was heard, but that wasn't enough to take him down. In fact, it made him angrier. He used the force and threw Obi-Wan across the room and into the wall.

"Don't move! I'll shoot you again." I spoke up, my breath shaking. My other hand searching to find the light switch on the wall next to me. I turned on the lights only to be met face to face with the tall masked figure that was couple of feet from me. I pointed the blaster at his head, my hands shaking.

His breathing was mechanical. He sounded like a droid, but seemed human at the same time.

"Angel..." The tall figure said. My eyes widen, my blood ran cold as I froze in place. A nickname I haven't been called over year, a name I haven't been called since...Since Anakin's death. I gripped my blaster tighter, only for him to use the force and pull it out of my grasp and fling it across the room. I looked over to where Obi-Wan was on the ground unconscious.

-

Artoo rolled into the living space with a scream, attacking Vader's leg, only for him to be forced kicked across the room by Vader. This gave you time to run over to your blaster where Vader had flung it, but you couldn't move. That bastard was holding you in place with the force.

"Do not be afraid. I will not harm you." Vader spoke up, pulling you closer to him with the force. You were trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was no use.

"You will not harm me? Then release me this instant!" You exclaimed, still wiggling around the air, as he pulled you closer to him. You felt your feet touch the ground as he released his grasp from you. You were now standing face to face with Vader. "What is it that you want from me?" You brush out your silk nightgown as he stared at you in awe. You were slowly becoming uncomfortable under his gaze, but you wouldn't let yourself fold.

"Hello? Did you not hear me?" You asked again as you crossed your arms, your patience growing thinner.

"Apologies...I just." Vader mustered out, unable to find the words.

"You just what?"

You couldn't tell, but Vader was panicking under his suit. He didn't think this through, or what he would say to you if he faced you. You were very much alive, at least since the last time he saw you. Your e/c gleamed under the living room lights. Your locks of h/c hair were longer now, cascading down to your hips. Your lips were plump and rosy, just taunting Vader to smash his lips against yours.

Without thinking, Vader's hands had found his way up helmet once again. Hoping that this time you would give him a chance, unlike Obi-Wan who was a bit apprehensive and combative toward him. You watched in bewilderment as the person who was after you revealed himself as a humanoid man? But your shock didn't end there. Your eyes scanned all over Vader's face, analyzing it. You didn't know what to expect what this man would look like, but you weren't expecting him to look like this.

Vader's eyes were no longer yellow, but were his original cerulean colored eyes. You took a step closer to him as you cupped his face, your eyes meeting his. You couldn't believe it, you didn't want to believe it. His eyes were just like Anakin's, if not the exact same. Though Vader was now hairless and heavily scarred, he still resembled Anakin. In fact, there were still remnants of Anakin within Vader that he believed he had rid of years ago.

"I-it can't be..." You whispered out. It had been over a year since Anakin's death. There have been many nights where you dreamed of the life that both you and Anakin could have had after the war. How you would have left your position as senator, Anakin leaving the Jedi, just so you both could have a family somewhere in the star system. But every morning as you woke, it was a constant reminder that it was only a dream, and that every waking hour you were awake, it was a nightmare for you.

"Angel.." Anakin said softly, cupping your cheek. Your eyes were glossy now, tears slowly forming in the corner of your eyes.

You had dreams and hopes, hopes that one day both you and Anakin would find each other again. You couldn't care if Anakin had been reincarnated into a Wookie or some hideous creature, but as long as there were remnants of Anakin, you would be happy and content. Perhaps it had been the lament you had over the loss of Anakin or the loneliness you've endured the past year, you did everything and anything in your power to be with him once again.

Now, here he was, standing in front of you. Though he didn't look like the same Anakin you once knew and loved, but you had gut feeling that he was like Anakin at least.

"Ani...Is it really you?" You were desperate, desperately hoping that this was the Maker giving you another chance to have your happy ending with Anakin.

Anakin nodded in response as you wiped away a tear that fell from his eyes. You let out a sob has you threw yourself into his strong arms, to which he engulfed your small frame. He held onto you tightly, afraid that you would slip away from him.

You pulled away from Anakin, your eyes meeting his once again. Smiling up at him, you stood on your tippy toes, inching closer to his face as you closed the gap between yourselves. Your lips were soft against Anakin's slightly chapped lips. The kiss soon turned passionate as Anakin's pressed you harder against him, his hands roaming up and down your body, desperate to touch every single inch of you.

You let out a small moan, however your passionate session came to an end when you heard someone clearing their throat. Both you and Anakin pulled away, turning your heads at Obi-Wan who shifted uncomfortably in his spot, clutching his elbow that had been injured.

"How long was I out for?" Obi-Wan spoke up, trying to shift the awkward mood between the three of you.

"A good 15 minutes I'd say?" You responded, your cheeks now tinted pink as you looked up at Anakin, before looking back at Obi-Wan.

"Well, I'm gonna go get some rest. If you need me, I will be in my chambers." With that, Obi-Wan swiftly made his way out of the living area and into his room. You couldn't help but giggle, as Anakin let out a chuckle. Obi-Wan definitely had been watching the both of you make out for a good minute or so before intervening.

Anakin let out a hiss, forgetting the fact that you had shot him earlier with your blaster. You looked at him with concern.

"Oh darling... Let's get you patched up." You tell Anakin, your hand gently brushing against the wound. To which Anakin sucked in a breath.

"Could you patch me up in your bedroom love?" Anakin spoke up. You rolled your eyes at his comment, before hooking your arm around his and leading him to your quarters.

thank you for reading!!! <3

-

tags: @mistress-amidala

[stapley0urmouthshut]

[texting]

Anakin: i'm so done with you

Y/N: K

Anakin: don't use "k" on me

Y/N: oay

[bloatedandalone04]

Back To You

➪the one where anakin is slipping away and needs you more than ever.

Part 1 | HAPPY MAY THE 4TH (had to get this out for today)

Warnings: self deprecating thoughts once again, anakin on the verge of turning evil, angst, fluff, insecurities, mentions of insecurities, mentions of death, urges to kill

Word Count: 4.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

Your reflection stared back at you, your own eyes looking at you with pity.

Poor, lonely Y/n. 

With tense shoulders, you shudder out a deep breath and avert your eyes to the marble of the countertop. 

You hated when your thoughts ran around in your head like this. It didn’t happen often, no, not anymore. You weren’t a teen anymore, you had no excuse to feel like this, yet you just couldn’t help yourself.

Taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, you miss the way Anakin appears in the doorway, his brows furrowed and his shoulders tense, matching yours. “Y/n,” it was as if he knew what was happening, felt the way your own body was attacking itself with a sense of hatred and burden. 

You look back up and meet his eyes in the mirror, a small whine of embarrassment leaving you. “I wish you wouldn’t see me like this,”

Anakin hadn’t seen you act this way in many months, not since you were on the verge of becoming an adult. Your shoulders shaking beyond your control, the crease in your forehead, the quiver in your voice. He hated all of it. 

“Wish all you want,” he said as he stepped into the room. “I still see you.”

Crossing the short distance, Anakin stands behind you, his height towering over yours as you look at each other in the mirror. “You want to know what I see?” You quietly ask him and he stays silent, his eyes giving you a look of warning that told you all you needed to know. No, if you see anything negative about yourself and voice it to him, he doesn’t want to know what you see. You say it anyway. “I see someone unworthy of love, of being cherished. I don’t see a powerful warrior like I’ve been told I am. I’m nothing.”

Ankin places his hands on your waist, his grip firm as he stares you down in the reflection. “That is not true and you know it,” his voice was stern and left no room for arguments. 

But you were far too stubborn for your own good, a trait Anakin saw in himself and one of the many reasons he fell for you in the first place. “But it is true, Ani,” you protested, looking at yourself with a hint of embarrassment and disgust. “Look at me.”

“I am,” his voice was the most serious you had ever heard it, something that makes you promptly stop talking. You weren’t intimated, no, Anakin would never put you in a situation in which he held his power and strength over you, but you were, however, intrigued. So much so you waited for him to continue, a ghost of a frown painted on your lips. “You are so much more than that. Your mind may betray you, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. You are strong and more powerful than you even know. One day you will save this galaxy, and you don’t even know it yet.”

Your lip quivers and you repress showing the chill that runs down your spine. “What if I don’t believe that?”

“You will,” he affirms. His arms wrap around your middle and he leans down so his chin is hovering over your shoulder. You rest your arms over his as you hold eye contact, your sight slightly blurred. “And until that time comes, I’ll be here to remind you just how powerful you are.”

-

One by one, all the happy memories Anakin had with you faded into nothing, his heart cracking each time he felt a part of him slip away. 

His body nearly gave up on itself as he stumbled his way through the temple. One of his hands shot out to catch himself, his palm pressing flat against the wall as he steadied his footing. “Get it together, Anakin,” he muttered to himself, taking a deep breath in hopes to relieve some of the pressure he felt was weighing him down.

It was then when Obi-Wan rounded the corner and saw his padawan struggling to keep himself up right. He was at his side in seconds, his hand wrapping around the younger man’s arm and pulling him into a standing position. “Anakin,” he said, worry lacing his words. “Are you alright?”

Anakin gave him a slow nod, his dull eyes focused on the stone of the floor. He thinks back to his last conversation with you, a full three weeks ago, and his eyes abruptly shut, your words repeating in his head before leaving his own mouth. “I fear I’ve fallen ill,”

Obi-Wan gives him a concerned look, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Take it easy,” he says, noticing the way Anakin refused to show him his eyes and the way his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “Relax, Anakin. You’re needed for the mission of protecting Senator Padmè and we can’t have you falling weak a few days before you’re set to leave.”

Anakin felt his ears begin to burn at the mention of Padmè, his jaw locking tightly as he lifted his head. He still refused to meet the eyes of his good friend, his shoulder raising quickly and making Obi-Wan’s hand fall off it. “I’ll be fine,” he muttered before walking forward and leaving the older man behind with a worried look.

His strides were quick, his chest heavy with a rage he had never felt before as he opened the door to his room with a rough shove. 

Protecting Padmè? The woman he had not spoken to since the night you left him? Putting his life on the line for the person who was the reason he hadn’t been happy in weeks? The one who helped him destroy the best thing in his life?

Not a chance.

Anakin’s shoulders tensed up as the door slammed shut behind him, his eyes flickering all over the near-empty room. 

He wasn’t as in control as he thought he was, and that much was obvious when he turned the entire place upside down a mere ten minutes after you walked out the door. 

He couldn’t help it, everything reminded him of you.

The thought of staying in this room that had always meant to shield you from the harsh reality by himself was one that kept him up at night. The dark circles that had formed under his eyes the day after you left him had become a seemingly permanent addition to his appearance. 

He almost didn’t recognise himself when he first noticed the deep and dark marks that shadowed his face. He assumed they’re from the lack of sleep he was getting, or not getting. 

He couldn’t sleep without you. He found that out pretty quickly.

After he had finished destroying every piece of furniture in the communal area of the room, he felt his bones ache with exhaustion. His eyes were burning and his hand was sore from throwing anything it could grab a hold of. Yet, as he made his way to the bed, the same one he had been holding you on - if only for a couple of seconds that he wished he could have back - only minutes prior, he discovered that he couldn’t fall asleep. 

His mind wouldn’t turn off, past memories with you flashing behind his eyes at a rapid pace. As he tried to get his body to relax and succumb to the darkness, he had no control over the way his hand twitched in the direction in which you always were, right beside him. Your side of the bed was cold, yet another thing he wasn’t used to as you were always there, for him to hold, for him to hide with. 

Now, three weeks later, and he is no better. He had gotten about five hours of sleep in total during the time he spent away from you, and it wasn’t something he had a say in. 

He wasn’t able to sleep in the bed, that much was obvious after his first failed attempt. After he rummaged through the dresser and grabbed onto one of your robes, he held onto the fabric with both hands. His face buried in it as he fell to the floor, his back pressed to the end of the bed. 

He fell asleep a few minutes after that, a death grip on your robe - one of the few things he had left of you. When he awoke half an hour later, he was met with the still dark sky and a pain in his lower back. 

It didn’t take him long to start tearing apart that dresser.

The few times he fell asleep after that were at random. 

While waiting for Obi-Wan to show up for a day of training, Anakin had fallen asleep against the wall of the meditation room. He was woken up an hour later by another Jedi who looked at him with concern and a bit of pity, something Anakin loathed. 

His sleep schedule consisted of quick naps in the most bizarre places, one being behind the wheel of his ship - that one nearly ended in a fatality for both him and Obi-Wan. Seeing as he was supposed to be the best pilot in all the galaxy, Anakin took Obi-Wan’s lecture without trying to defend himself as he didn’t even know what was wrong with him.

His sleep state wasn’t even a safe space. He had one dream about you, one where you came back and you held him and kissed him and told him everything he needed and had been desperate to hear.

The rest were nightmares. Or nothing at all. A void. 

Anakin felt like a ghost, a shell of who he used to be. 

He wasn’t happy, wasn’t consumed with excitement whenever he was set to fly, wasn’t filled with a sense of pride whenever he successfully completed a quick mission. 

He felt like his body was betraying him, and the fact that he hadn’t seen even a glimpse of you since you left didn’t help at all.

The temple was big, but he didn’t realise it was massive enough to keep you hidden from him for three weeks.

Three weeks.

Nearly four without you.

Anakin was sure that when the one month mark hit, his body would no longer function at his control. It hardly was now, so he was not looking forward to seeing how he would be in a week from now.

He turns right and enters the bedroom, everything untouched with the exception of the broken dresser beside the door. His eyes narrowed on the bed and he felt, what had to be, the hundredth sharp stab that pierced his heart in the past few weeks. 

-

“I’m nervous,” you nearly whispered, your hands running over Anakin’s bare shoulders. A single candle was lit and placed on the nightstand a couple feet from where his body hovered over yours on the bed. The flicker of orange made him look so innocent, so young and carefree, a sight you quickly decided was a blessing to see. “Will it hurt?”

Anakin leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead, his arms tightening around your frame. “Maybe for a bit,” he murmured against your skin. “We don’t have to do this tonight. I don’t want you to feel rushed.”

You shake your head, your nose brushing against his as you did so. “I want to do this, I promise,” your words are quiet and the only sound that fills the dark room. It was just you and him, the outside world blocked by a door and the curtains that covered the window. You had never felt more safe. “I need this. We need this.”

It was true. 

Anakin would be sent away the following morning on what would be his longest absence yet. While you had grown used to his day long missions, this one was said to be no less than a couple weeks. He had never spent that long away from you and he wasn’t coping that well with the thought of leaving you behind. 

The decision to do this tonight was mutual. 

He needed something to hold onto until he returned to you, and you needed the feeling of being completely loved and wanted to get you through the weeks you’d spend without him. 

Anakin nodded, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “Only for a bit,” he said again before the distance was closed once more.

-

Anakin felt the last good memory slip away from him and his eyes darkened, an ache in his jaw as he clenched it again. 

He was going to do the mission; the one where they would be counting on him to keep Padmè out of harm’s way and protect her with his life. 

However, what they didn’t know was that Anakin was now treating this as a form of justice, or, in other words, an assassination.

-

“Y/n,” Obi-Wan greeted as he entered the meditation room. “I’ve finally found you.”

His smile was kind but told you that he wasn’t here to talk about anything good. You return the smile as best as you could, sitting up straighter and holding eye contact with him. “Master,” you say back, brows furrowing when the smile was replaced with a frown. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

The man nodded, his fingers tugging on the sleeve of his shirt in a way that showed he was nervous but was trying to hide it. “It’s Anakin Skywalker,” he said and you quickly looked away. “Something is troubling him.”

Your eyes focus on the floor as you fight the urge to cry in front of Obi-Wan. It would give away the very real fact that you were well aware of what Anakin was going through, and the fact you were in a forbidden relationship with the Jedi. 

Anakin.

You hadn’t heard his name in weeks, cutting off any communication with him and anyone affiliated with him, including the very man standing in front of you. Guilt creeped into you, the same guilt that had plagued you since the moment you left the crying man by himself in the room you no longer felt at home in. 

The weeks you spent without the man you loved were brutal. 

You had been struck with an overwhelming feeling of guilt and you carried it with you every day. Your heart broke every time you heard the hushed whispers of fellow Jedi about how the supposed ‘Chosen One’ was failing to do the simplest of tasks and had become a weak version of himself. One that didn’t show up to important meetings, didn’t give his all on quick and easy missions, and looked like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. 

The one who looked on the verge of falling to the dark side.

You didn’t want to think about that last one, despite the numerous times you’ve heard it be brought up. Never did you ever think Anakin would become the worst version of himself, become a person he was so far from and forget about everything that made him the powerful Jedi he had been for so long now. 

There was no way it was because of you and how you left things. How could it? How could you mean so much to someone that they’d forget all they worked for, fought for, bled for, just because you were no longer a constant in their life?

It just didn’t make sense to you, but then again, the fact that you even had a sliver of Anakin Skywalker in the first place didn’t make a whole lot of sense, either. 

He was too good for you, too kind and caring and someone who deserved the world. Something you couldn’t give him, no matter how much you wanted to. 

You wanted to give him any and everything he asked for and more, but you couldn’t. And you would never be able to. 

You couldn’t even give yourself the time of day and dedication needed to progress in your life, so how could you possibly help Anakin in any way?

The question had you looking up and meeting the eyes of Obi-Wan once again. “What does that have to do with you looking for me?”

“If I recall correctly, you and Anakin were quite close not too long ago,” he said and you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat and how you wanted to point out just how close the two of you had been. “Is that right?”

You nodded quickly, eyes focusing on the wall behind him. “We were, but not anymore,”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Obi-Wan gave you a look of pity before he continued, “Anakin is a good person, someone who I find myself looking up to. I’m afraid something has happened….something that could lead to his demise.”

That made you stand up, your brows pressing together as you stepped closer. “What do you mean?”

The man hesitated before swallowing harshly. “I’ve been observing him and I’m worried about what I’ve seen so far. He hasn’t been sleeping or focusing. Just this morning I found him against a wall, unable to hold himself up,” he says. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye. I can’t help but fear the worst.”

Your eyes flicker between his. “What are you saying?”

You share a look before he places a hand on your shoulder. “I’m afraid we’re losing him to something he should have never seen or felt,”

-

“Anakin!” Your hand turned the doorknob before you could even think about knocking first. Stepping into the room, you let out a quiet gasp at the sight of destruction. Not a single thing was how you left it, not even the side of the door that faced the inside of the room. It was dented and beaten in, hints of blood here and there that told you exactly what had happened to the wood. 

You stumble your way through the now unfamiliar room and head straight towards the bedroom, where you’re met with a demolished dresser. The rest of the room seemed untouched and you bent down to pick up one of your shirts, fisting the material in your hand. The rest of your clothing was thrown around the floor, some stuck on the corner of the bed that looked like it hadn’t been slept in since you left.

Dropping the shirt, you turn around after coming to the conclusion that the room was empty. You stand outside the door that led to the bathroom, your hand hovering over the doorknob. 

He had to be in there, and that thought had your heart beating rapidly. 

With a firm twist, your fingers press against the door and push. 

Standing in front of the mirror was Anakin, his eyes glossy and staring at his reflection. His shoulders were stiff, his whole body tense in a way that had you swallowing nervously. His hands gripped the marbled countertop tightly, his knuckles turning a few shades lighter as heavy pants left his mouth.

Pushing back a small ounce of uncertainty, you step into the room. He must have been deep in thought as he didn’t notice the door open or your smaller figure enter the room. You were afraid to ask what was going on in that pretty head of his. It had to be something awful to have him this out of it. 

“Anakin,” You say his name quietly, almost to the point of it being inaudible. 

But he heard you. Whatever daydream he was in was ripped away the second your voice hit his ears. His eyes moved from his own and met yours in the reflection, the crease in his brow softening as a shaky breath left his lips. The feeling of relief was short-lived. “You’re not real,” he muttered, not giving you a second glance as his eyes went back to being stone cold. 

It was then when you realised how much you truly meant to the poor boy. You really had no idea that you, of all people, could mean this much to someone, let alone the perfection that is Anakin. 

He was so messed up to the point where he didn’t even believe he was actually seeing you. 

You felt your heart break all over again. “What have I done to you?” You ask, holding back a dry sob as you take a daring step closer. “Anakin…it’s me.”

He only shook his head, his chin tilting downwards as he muttered something under his breath. 

You blink back a tear or two as you cross the room, your hand tugging on his arm. “Look at me,” you nearly cry out, your grip making him turn slightly. His eyes left the mirror and landed on you. The blue orbs softened just a bit and you watched as what seemed to be a million thoughts ran through his head. You reach up and caress the side of his face, your thumb gently stroking his cheekbone as well as the scar that graced his skin. “Look at me.”

The furrow in his brow faded away as his hands left the counter, his body fully turning to face yours. “Y/n,” he whispered, his hand reaching up to wrap around your wrist as he leaned into your touch. 

You let out a quiet hum to let him know that was really you and that you were here, with him. “I’m so sorry,” you say quietly, your thumb continuing to stroke his face while his stroked the skin of your wrist.

His eyes were still glossy and his whole being still seemed as if it was far away. Your other hand grasped his shoulder as you stepped closer, trying to think of what to do to get him to fully come back. 

A delirious grin formed on his lips as he looked at you, still not believing you were actually there. “I missed you,” he murmured, his eyes flickering all over your face before he began to turn back towards the mirror. 

You placed both your hands on his face and pulled him away from whatever trance the mirror held over him. Tugging his head down, you press your forehead against his. “I’m here,” you whisper, reaching one hand down to grab his and place it on your waist. “I’m here and I’m so sorry.”

 Anakin furrowed his brows again, his head shaking as his gloved hand tightened its grip on you. “It’s not…you’re not-”

“I am,” you cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as if it’ll help stop the love of your life from turning on everything he had going for him. You weren’t sure what to do at this point. Anakin was in denial, seemingly stuck in a very fragile state and balancing on a very thin edge of becoming something he swore he wouldn’t. A tear slips down your face as you brush your nose against his, an act you’ve done too many times to count. “Please….come back to me.”

Whatever had a hold on his mind seemed to let go as you said the words he had been craving to hear, the same ones you murmured to him in the first and only dream he had about you since you left - the same ones he said to you.

He pulled back just slightly, his eyes staring into yours as his face relaxed for the first time in nearly a month. His lip quivered and his eyes filled with unshed tears, his hand that wasn’t on your waist coming up to grip the back of your neck as he pulled you into him.

You wrapped your arms around him as your face pressed against his chest, a sigh of relief and desperation leaving both of you. 

“Angel,” the name falls easily from his lips, his arms tightening around you as if you would disappear at any given second - and he’d be alone again. “You’ve come back to me.”

“I never should have left you,” you say back, your voice muffled due to the sobs you were holding back. “I’m so sorry, Anakin. Please, forgive me.”

His hand slides upwards to cradle the back of your head as he quietly hushes you. “It’s okay, my love,” he says quietly, his mind becoming foggy at the fact that he had you back in his arms. “You’re okay.” He presses his lips to the side of your head, his hand refraining from pulling you back in when he feels you push against him.

“I’m not,” you shake your head, your hands fisting his shirt. “I haven’t been. I feel so bad, Anakin. I hate that I hurt you. The guilt has been eating me alive, I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.”

Your sweet voice was music to his ears and he brought his hand around to the front of your head, where his thumb brushes away your tears as he quiets you once more. “It’s alright, angel,” he says, pulling you close once again. “We’ve found each other again, there’s nothing to be sorry for. We’re okay.”

Before you could nod in agreement, his lips pressed to yours in a gentle yet firm kiss. The action made his own tears fall as he closed his eyes, begging to anyone listening that you’d still be there when he opened them again. “I love you,” you mumbled when you pulled away, your forehead resting against his cheek. “So much.”

“I love you,” he says in return, holding you close and inhaling the scent that only belonged to you - the scent that made him dizzy. “Take me back.” Let me live again.

You nod quickly, leaning up to kiss him again. “It’s you and me,” you say against his mouth, feeling the way his arms wrapped protectively around your middle. 

“You and me,” he agreed, kissing you once again. Forever.

-

Part 3

[stargirl-writes]

promises

pairing : f! reader x rots! anakin skywalker

word count : 1k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

ever since anakin had killed dooku, your anxiety has never settled. for you were watching him slowly lose himself in the war. and you lie late at night lost in the idea that maybe, being with you didn't make any difference at all. so, you watched him sleep, at peace, stealing what little time you could have with him.

tags : angst, comfort, love, flangst (?)

warnings : pretty much none, just angsty stuff to cry to hehe

notes : hello beautiful people! i finished the film past lives and there's this one line that just shattered me 😭 so i just wanna share this little imagine before i go to sleep :) hope ya like it 🪽🩷

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated ! (and fuels me hehe)

Anakin Skywalker is your secret.

Your beautiful little secret.

Here wrapped in these sheets, where everything softens. Hushed. Kissed by the gentle rays of the moonlight.

You have been awake for some time now. But you didn't dare move. Anakin was still deep in his dreams exhausted from the day before. Despite his slumber, his arms wrap around you protectively.

You placed your head on his chest, following his breathing and listening to the soft thuds of his heart.

Your gaze lands on his peaceful expression.

How can someone look so beautifu?

You thought, he looked like the people in the paintings. Like how an artist would imagine a being with the perfect proportions. And he'd move as if each stroke is intended with grace.

The force made him. You'd sometimes catch yourself lost in his eyes, staring, studying the way it'd crease at the ends when he smiles. Is he even human? You'd think to yourself. He is the galaxy made flesh. That has to account for his prettiness, you think.

You take a deep breath; the scales of the ongoing war are further tipped to the Republic's advantage after Anakin had killed Dooku.

It was so close. Even the air itself has shifted. You can feel it, the end. You can almost visualize it.

Maybe then, things will change...

Selfishly, you feel your heart ache by the little amount of time you could share with Anakin. You can't help it, you have always belonged to him, and for that, you have suffered.

He is the Jedi Order's first. Before you can call him yours. You're not even sure if he is his own's anymore. Because you've watched how this war takes so much of him.

Be smarter, Be more cunning, Be more ruthless. Offer yourself again and again and again.

There's so little of him that remains.

You blinked, sighing once more. You reminded yourself that you are here, tangled in his embrace. It was enough to know that here he lies, with you.

Anakin shifts and you hold your breath. You begged the Gods to not wake him, not yet, let me have him, just for now.

Anakin mutters something. Huttese, the language he grew up on. Your eyebrows furrowed, you never really got to understanding the language even after studying it.

His heart paces under your touch. You kept your gaze on his face, deciding whether you should wake him up or have him rest.

He has been having so many nightmares lately...

His eyes abruptly open and you lent your weight on your elbow to better survey him.

"It's alright, Ani, it was just a dream" You spoke softly, careful not to startle him.

Anakin's wide-eye terror softens at the sight of you, his chest heaves trying to catch his breath.

"It's alright" You coo once more, placing a kiss on his forehead.

He presses his eyes close, and his eyes are intent in yours as he follows your breathing.

You can't help but feel a sting in your heart. He is reaching his limit, and it worries you that whenever he's away, he is close to blurring the lines and crossing it.

Anakin presses his face to your clavicle, and your hands find a way to tangle in his hair. Noticing his silence, you spoke soothingly "What's on your mind, Ani?"

Anakin's breath felt warm against your neck. You used to be able to read Anakin's thoughts. Like he'd write it down in words on pages of a novel for you to be able to understand him. But now, he's been more distant, more incoherent, and you feel as though you have to decipher every little thing that he allows you to see.

"mmm—just tired" Anakin's voice was gravelly and of resignation.

Stop turning me away. You wanted to say. But you already know that the more you try to push him, the further he'll hide away.

You take a deep breath, wishing you could take away some of the weight off his shoulders. "You know you speak in Huttese when you're asleep"

"I do?" Anakin tilts his chin, his eyes are still half-asleep.

"Yeah, I could never understand it though" You managed a wan smile.

"That's probably good for you, Huttese is a very coarse language" He claims.

"Still—" You held back your tongue, deciding it would only drive him away if you asked about his dream.

"I fear that you dream in a language I can't understand"

The silence hung. Anakin must be asleep.

Your gaze moved faraway— deep in contemplation. Wondering if you being in his life made any difference at all.

"You know, I only ever feel like myself when I'm with you, right?" Anakin speaks, voice barely above a whisper.

Your cheeks flushed scarlet, realizing your force signature may have revealed your anxieties.

"I know"

Anakin shifts his head, eyes latched on to you like he was memorizing every detail of your face.

"Ani" you began, "If there's a life after it all, will you come with me?"

Anakin's eyebrows flashed at the suddenness of your question.

"What do you mean?" He places his hand on the small of your back, tracing small circles.

"Well, I'm only wondering, will you come with me, even then?"

Anakin's expression softens, recognizing your fears. You were losing him, slowly, bit by bit. And if you're bound to him in this life, why not in the other?

When you can finally feel like you're not constantly the only one holding on.

He doesn't answer for a while, you feel the need to ramble, to withdraw.

It was silly of you to ask, he is free to choose whatever life he wants to live after it all, besides, if he decides to want to rest, you won't take that away from him, if he ever wants to—

"I'll go wherever you go" he declares, halting the thoughts plaguing your mind.

His eyes drift away from yours "I can't... I know what my duty requires of me and I'm sorry if I haven't been here for you."

"But, I'll love you in a time that isn't stolen" he promises, tucking your hair away from your face.

You felt tears glistening in your eyes. You smiled, leaning in to tenderly kiss Anakin.

The hope of it all would be enough to keep you going.

Just a little while longer.

© to @cafekitsune for the borders as always !

[veras1ne]

✮“Delicate.”

I had SO much fun writing this fic!! I’m so sorry it was delayed a little, there were some time constrictions and I’d much rather give you guys a late fic than a rushed and poorly written one. Anyways, Enjoy!! I can’t wait to see yall on the 31st 🦢 🫧

✰Pairing´ˎ˗📀: Anakin Skywalker x AFAB!Bimbo!Reader

✰ ‧₊˚ Summary 🦢: Anakin was out on a mission, leaving you home alone and an opportunity to hit the town. Nightclubs and dancing sounded perfect until he finds his way back home early.

✰ ;➛ WARNINGS🫧: THIS IS AN 18+ SMUT FANFIC. I am NOT responsible for the media you read and consume! Your warnings are the following: Smut, PIV, Fingering, Cum-Stuffing, Anakin being a master manipulator, Slutshaming, Degrading, Use of She/Her, Mentions of Breeding/Pregnancy, squirting, but no explicit mention of it! Try not to blink.

The sound of your dress zipping up and the spritzing of your favorite perfume filled your ears with excitement. Anakin was planned to be away on a trip for several nights, allowing you to sneak away with your closest friends for a night on the town, going to some of the sweetest clubs in your finest clothing. This would be the perfect chance for you to let loose without being kept on a tight leash by him. You could drink, dance, and enjoy yourself to your heart's content.

Tonight, you were finally free to do all that you wanted. You wanted to be selfish and get dirty and nasty with your friends. Of course you were allowed to go out, but statistics forbid you to be able to wear your tightest skirts and tops that were downright inappropriate for you to wear anywhere else. Personally, you had seen nothing wrong with your choice of clothing, especially when you got dressed just right, knowing that the explicit clothing wouldn’t matter in the first place as your lover would be right there in the event of anything happening.

The tightness made your waist look amazing, and the thin fabric hugged your curves perfectly. In Anakin’s mind, your clothes left little to the imagination—so little, in fact, that he believed he should be the only one to see you wearing the fabric you loved so much. He believed that he should be the only one to take advantage of you and ravage your mind, body, and soul.

He believed he should be the only one to see every nook and cranny of your body—the one that was specially made for his hands. To him, you were a toy, something he could take whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted. No matter where he went, whether it was his bed or yours or the bar across town, you would always be available to him.

You were his property that he owned, and you loved it. He loved that he was the only thing you thought about, that every being in your soul belonged to him, and that your whole life was centered around being him. It pleased him endlessly when his presence seemed to be the only thing to bring happiness and contentment into your everyday existence.

You relished in the knowledge that he knew every inch of your body; everything you did was because of him. His touch was what caused you to cry out of pleasure. He held you, kissed you, touched you, pleasured you, and told you how much he loved you. His missions were an opportunity for you to get wild without his knowledge, to let out a primal energy that wasn't regularly seen in you while under his every beck and call.

You had loved to be under Ani’s watchful eyes, but to live somewhat of a secret second life was something that made you feel sexy and powerful. Sure, others saw you as naive and just a pretty face, but you simply loved it. You loved dressing pretty in pink and always sipping on smooth champagne. In Anakin’s words, you were “ditzy.” And he liked it. It felt good to have you wrapped tightly around his finger.

You were just too good for him. He loved having you completely at his mercy, giving him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it. You were a gift that no man or god could give him. The way you met was almost immediately revealing to your character: him being assigned to nearly babysit you while you traveled with your father throughout the galaxy, accompanying your father as the face of his campaign for his politics.

He became enamored by your innocent beauty and decided he wanted you to be his. You didn’t realize it, but he began to court you, solidifying his belief that you were rather bubble-headed, not that he minded in the slightest way.

He watched you giggle uncontrollably during a joke, hearing him chuckle when you cried out in disgust when you accidentally stepped in a liquid that had taken form on the floor. He had found you absolutely delicious, and his obsession had gotten the best of him. His lust had grown more intense, taking over any sense of logic and reasoning. He would come home after long missions and find you waiting for him, begging for him to touch you, kiss you, and fuck you. Your soft body begged to be touched, but Anakin couldn’t bring himself to give in.

As much as he desired you in the moment, his job had taken priority, and he had to be away from you until now. He hadn’t told you of his return, wishing to surprise you and see your pretty face filled with delight as his boots echoed down the hallway to your door, clacking upon arrival. Although it had only been a few days, to him, it felt like weeks away from your beautiful body, which fit right with his. He had missed you, and he wanted to prove you right.

As you smoothed out your top in the mirror, the jiggling of your front door’s knob caught your attention. Anakin’s voice calling out your name brought a smile to your face, making you rush out into the living room, heels clicking as you ran. The sight that greeted you, however, made your heart leap in your chest.

The man that stood before you was handsome in his Jedi robes. His eyes twinkled with mischief as he smiled down at you, a slight smirk on his lips. Anakin was clearly excited to see you, his arms open, expecting a hug. “Hi Baby! You’re home!” you almost screamed, joyously, running into his muscular arms.

You wrapped your own around his broad back and pulled him closer to you, pressing your nose into his neck and inhaling his smell of fresh soap and pine trees. “I didn’t know you were coming. I missed you so much, baby!” You exclaimed happily, kissing the side of his jawline before pulling away and admiring his strong build.

His face contorted in confusion as he looked at you, seeing you in your pink outfit fixed with your primmed and perfect hair and your finest heels. “What are you wearing, honey? I didn’t think you knew I was coming home.” You smiled at him blankly, not understanding his words. “I was about to go out with some girls from the club downtown; that’s okay, right?" He nodded slowly, trying to comprehend where you got the idea that you could go outside looking like that. “Of course that’s alright,” his voice trailed off as he entered your kitchen. “But I know you aren’t going out dressed like that." You tilted your head, confused. “Like that? What’s wrong with this?” “I should be the only one seeing you dressed like that. Your tits are halfway spilling out of your top; I wouldn’t even be surprised if other men tried to look at you the way only I do," he snapped at you, frustrated that you were trying to question his authority.

You rolled your eyes at his reaction, turning around and beginning to walk to your bedroom. “Oh really? Well, I guess maybe you should change the way you look at me if you hate it so much.” You scoffed as you walked past him, heading to your closet. “Besides, if you hate what I’m wearing so badly, why don’t you come and take it off?" You turned around with a devilish smirk on your face, wanting to see his reaction.

You never expected such a fierce and passionate response. A growl escaped his throat as he stomped towards you, slamming you up against the wall and pinning you there with ease. He pushed you against the wall roughly, ravanging your neck and placing wet, open kisses on your exposed skin. He nibbled on your collarbone, sucking lightly, causing you to moan and shiver. “I could rip your clothes right off," his low voice whispered into your ear, his lips close enough to yours for you to feel his hot breath. “Of course you’d love that, wouldn’t you?" He chuckled darkly as he released his grip on your shoulders and placed his forehead on yours.

The sight of Anakin’s eyes staring straight into yours made you forget all about the situation, instead focusing on the sensation of his hot breath fanning across your skin, his hand coming up to your face, and forcing eye contact between the two of you. “I've waited too long for you, Ani. My fingers couldn’t fuck me like you can. I need you so bad.” Your breathing was labored and unstable, with his hands harshly grabbing your wrists as he pinned you to your shared bed, which had grown so cold on his side.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately, his tongue brushing against your lip before slipping inside, exploring the depths of your mouth. His hands made short work of your miniskirt, and completely demolishing your beautiful designer top.

You were completely lost in him as he devoured you, his fingers tugging your hair slightly as he continued to press you against the bed, your hips bucking and rubbing against the fabric of his pants, the thin cotton of your pants creating friction on your clit that you so elegantly craved.

You moaned loudly into his mouth, his hands still holding your wrists above your head as his mouth roamed over your body, leaving a trail of hickeys all over your neck, chest, and stomach.

His right hand came down to your pussy, pushing your pants to the side as he reveled in your wet genitalia, your pre-cum acting as a lube for his thick and dry fingers, pushing their way into your hole, scissoring them against your walls, and loosening your tight muscles that pulsed against his flesh. You groaned louder than ever as his skilled fingers moved in and out of your slick and swollen entrance, his mouth moving to your breast, nibbling and licking.

A few minutes later, your eyes were closed, and tears streamed down your cheeks as pleasure rocked through you relentlessly.

A low grunt fell from your lips as Anakin removed his fingers from your pussy, placing a kiss on your clit as he replaced his fingers with his erect cock that prodded your tight hole. “I need you inside me, Ani. My pussy has been so empty; missed you so much.” Your encouragement was the final push for him, with his head pushing into your tiny slit.

He was careful at first, making sure to enter slowly and deeply, feeling how good it felt to finally be inside you, a scream ripping itself from your throat, your nails scratching at the sheets beneath your body as you writhed and trembled underneath him. “You’re so tight, my dove. I can’t get enough of you. So beautiful.” He spoke softly, his voice strained with effort, and his eyes focused solely on your swollen opening as he thrust in and out of your body, your back arching against the mattress as he took your sweet pussy apart, splitting you on his dick.

His cock rubbed against your sensitive walls, hitting every part of your insides as he fucked you hard and fast. “I should’ve known you were so desperate for me the moment I came through the door. I could practically smell your desperation like a dog; guess I’m fucking you like a bitch though, aren’t I?” You whined as you gripped tightly to the sheets beneath you. His movements became faster and harder, hitting your most sensitive spot, his hands leaving your body and taking refuge tangled in your hair, pulling it as you let out a pleasured screech.

Your entire body shook violently with each stroke of his cock, gripping the sheet beneath you. His voice deepened as he increased the tempo of his thrusts. “Such a slut, you know that? Your pussy is so deep, she’s swallowing me whole. I missed her so bad and the way she clenched around my fat cock," he roared out, his orgasm rising as you came undone, your juices spurting as you gushed around him, clawing at his back and seemingly drawing blood. "Anakin," you sobbed as he pumped his cock faster, his hips stuttering as he came hard, his seed flooding deep inside you.

With an animalistic growl, he collapsed on top of you. His heavy breathing and harsh heartbeat filled your ears, his large body covering your smaller frame. “Once a slut, always a slut, but at least you’re mine," he muttered hoarsely, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, breathing deeply in your scent, a smile stretching across his face as he placed a wet kiss on your jawline, thrusting into you one last time, pushing his cum deep inside of you.

“Maybe I should get you pregnant, breed you like a little bitch, and let everybody know that this pussy belongs to me."

[she-was-a-goddess]

𝙰𝙷🫦