#America baybee

[coffeecakecafe]

I'm on month four of typing my symptoms into google and getting the same thyroid results my doctors wouldn't treat already

seeing a specialist at the end of the month but given how it's been going I'm not anticipating treatment without More Tests. hoping to be on the right track by March, but this all started in October ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[tributary]

guy who thinks that only america has agency in the world

[eliquire33]

Intimate…..

[chalkscrub]

babygirl doodles from a little while ago

[avengerscompound]

Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON (2004) #6

[diabolocracy]

What the idiots who voted McDonald in over egg prices failed and continue to fail to realize,

there are factors as to why some shit is expensive and continues to become so.

[pyrriae]

I have so many questions.

[kingofattolia]

UPDATE: WE DID IT FOLKS

I'm like a person with a deathly fear of heights who insists upon continually flinging myself off the tallest cliffs I can find

[the-sun-station]

god damn I fucking hate ISPs dude

there's an ISP in my line of work that's been peddling "100x100 fiber anywhere in North America" and someone in my company, somehow, fucked around, fell for this scam, and started ordering this for problem sites.

we're now in the finding out phase where it turns out they're just fucking cellular modem resellers like you'd get from those terrible T-Mobile home internet ads??? we've had at least a couple dozen sites all report issues with internet speeds in the 256kbps range making the store non-functional.

their solution if their shitty resold SIM cards don't work? fucking Starlink, baybee. which they still market as fiber service in their sales material lmfao

[mr-double-downer]

Discourse speedrun time baybee

If you don’t trust strangers on the internet asking for money you’re just a racist cracker. You just gotta trust me bro. After all it’s not like people lie on the internet for money.

This woman boxer from a country that is traditionally conservative to the point of repression must be a man cause her opponent and a has been children’s author said so. Ignore the fact she’s lost before against other female boxers. Also, I don’t watch boxing or any athletic event in general but someone told me to be mad because of the *looks at hand* the sanctity of women’s sports.

Just vote blue bro. Sure I don’t actually like Biden, Harris, or the democrats in general but trump is literally Hitler and project 2025 is totally going to happen even tho most lawmakers think it’s a comical farce. Look man you can totally vote third party in 2028 this is the most important election of our lives since the last one! Yes I identify as a hardcore socialist why do you ask?

I know Trump is little more than a demagogue who identified as a democrat all his life until he decided to run for office, and yeah he’s a corrupt business and a serial adulterer and an actual sexual predator who paid hush money, but like, liberals man! They’re ruining our country by giving people the freedom to marry who they want and like, wanting universal healthcare! That’s why I gotta vote for Trump he’ll preserve our traditional values and make America great again!

Sure I’m worried about the rising tide of hate crimes and physically can’t defend myself against a humming bird, but I’ll be damned if I pickup a gun! Those kill people you know?

[mammalsofaction]

Wedding Adventure, PART 1

Rating: T (swear words)

Ship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: Human Perry, mute Perry, rewrite of Candace's Big Day, established relationship Perryshmirtz, marriage fic baybee, this was fun to write, all the Flynn-Fletchers and most of the Doofenshmirtzes are here.

Part 2 coming soon. (subscribe to this post)

A/N: The family knows they are OWCA agents, this is an AU where OWCA isn't a secret organisation, or at least not to family and loved ones. Heinz and Perry are both established OWCA agents, though Heinz still used to be an evil scientist. Perry's lore complies to the lore post I've made on him before.

---

"-weren't too angry about it, but a monkey was a monkey, and we are henceforth completely blacklisted from attending another political wedding in South India ever again."

The Flynn-Fletchers make appropriate ooh-and-ahhing noises, and Perry closes their large scrapbook album with some satisfying thump of finality, leaning back against the couch's backrest into his Heinz's embrace as Linda engages him in lighthearted discussions of grandeur wedding traditions and cultural holidays. Ferb struggles a bit with trying to properly peep the the front cover of the album from where he's standing on the carpet facing Perry, so Lawrence picks him up to put him on his lap, and Perry angles the book so the boy could enjoy touching it and appreciating all the details. He appreciates the boy's clear admiration; Perry deeply enjoys scrapbooking, and the album is a point of pride.

“Wow, Uncle Perry,” Phineas gushes, where he's practically sitting on Heinz's foot to for a closer look at the photos. “You and Dr. D has had so many cool adventures together!”

I know, huh? Perry signed, and ruffling the boy's hair. Ferb had boldly taken it upon himself to flip through the pages of the album to admire all the photos they had been showing before. He points a photo taken ground camera angle, looking up as they were jumping off a plane.

He remembers that one. Heinz had somehow gotten his parachute lines tangled then, jumping down the side of an active Volcano line in Indonesia. They reached the ground in one piece though, generally speaking.

“Yeah, you liked that one, kid?” Heinz asked, smiling. He always tried to be attentive to the boys' interests as possible, not least because he saw a lot of himself in them, and the childhood he could have had, had his own insatiable curiosity and intelligence was humored instead of scorned. Perry couldn't help himself from planting a kiss on his cheek, as Heinz turned the page to show them both the least blurry photo they could keep of a video as they escaped from man-eating piranha plants in the amazon.

Candace sighed wistfully at the sight. ”You guys are so cute together. I wish me and Jeremy are gonna grow up as close and affectionate you guys still are even after 5 years.”

Phineas clearly disagreed, at least from the confused scrunch of his nose by their blatant display of PDA, but he's way too polite-and distracted- to comment. Perry chortles, and ruffles his hair.

He wonders if their neighbour's kid from across the street- what was her name? Isabelle? -still had the blatant crush she had on Phineas since he had last seen her. Linda's boy still clearly had other priorities in mind, poor girl.

Ferb flips over to the back of the scrapbook to reveal empty pages, at which point he turns to face the both of them inquisitively.

“Ferb's right, Uncle Perry,” Phineas verbally agrees. “There's still some empty pages in your scrapbook. So many more adventures!”

“Good point, boys. Any plans for the rest of summer?” Lawrence asked.

”Well, we are going to go to the Galapagos tomorrow,“ Heinz muses, sending Perry a meaningful look. Perry blushes. "But we'll be back in America by Saturday for the reception."

”Reception?“ Linda asked in surprise. ”Who's gotten married?“

Perry and Heinz smile, and -as one- reveal the golden rings, hanging by subtle, durable chains around each their necks that had been hidden by the necklines of their shirts. The family gasps, the meaning of the gesture unmistakable; but Candace so loved putting it into words.

”You're engaged?“ She shrieks.

“Apparently it's why your uncle had been so insistent we come home between missions.” Heinz laughed, bumping into Perry's shoulder teasingly. Perry responds by rolling his eyes, and reaching for his fiance's hand, planting a sweet kiss on titanium knuckles. “He had this whole elaborate treasure hunt proposal planned by walking us through all our most meaningful locations of our first meeting, right here in Danville.”

Candace squealed. Perry started signing, picking up where Heinz had left off. We would have stayed to plan a full wedding too, and I really wanted the whole family to be there, but the Galapagos mission is a time-sensitive emergency. I managed to talk my boss into staying another night over so we could break the news to you, as well as Vanessa and Charlene, in person.

Linda coo-ed. "Oh, Perry this is so wonderful. I am so happy for you two. You're fantastic together."

"Does this mean you're going to have a wedding in the Galapagos?" Phineas asked.

Perry shrugs helplessly, then shakes his head.

"We might not have the time," Heinz elaborates regretfully. "Time-sensitive missions don't really give us much space for wedding planning, so we're planning to sign some documents, maybe find a church so we could at least be legally bound when we land, though neither of us are, hah, particularly religious…,“

"Like an elopement?" Linda blurts, surprised. Her husband chides her with a gentle “Honey-,”

“Well, not really.” Heinz says, scratching the back of his head. He tends to fidget, when he's nervous. “I mean-,”

“ELOPE?” Candace yelled, outraged. She's gotten to her feet, a look of wild panic in her eyes. Perry blinks. “Elope? No! You can't elope! That's so quick! Weddings are supposed to be this big, special thing! It's supposed to be the biggest, most momentous thing in your life, and you can't throw that away for some-some-,” she sputters. “Time-sensitive, life or death emergency on the other side of the globe!”

Perry and Heinz shares a quick, panicked look by her outburst. Candace, dear, Perry tries to sign, but she wasn't listening. She seemed to be on an absolute roll.

”Besides!“ She yells. ”Uncle Perry, if you get married in some church in the Galapagos, I can't be there!“ She stomps her foot for emphasis. ”When I was little, you promised me that I was going to be your bridesmaid. I can't be there in the Galapagos! What about my needs?!“

This time, Heinz throws away all pretence of subtlety, and turns to face Perry with a brief, but pointed, stare. Linda and Lawrence gasps. “Candace!” Her mother exclaims, scandalised.

“But mom-!”

Perry meets his fiance's gaze, embarrassed, but instead of something stern, Heinz has a calculating look in his eye, that thousand-yard stare he does when he's about to do something impulsive. He checks in with Perry just the once, a quick blink of his eyes full of meaning. Perry hesitates, but nods.

Heinz turns to the side, an uncharacteristically gentle touch to the back of Linda's hand that stops her as she is about to scold her daughter for her inappropriate outburst. “She's right, Linda,” he says quickly, with a chuckle. “I mean, for all our sins even Charlene and I had a proper wedding, for all the good that did. It's meant to signify something special, and I would love that for Perry and I.”

Heinz reached over to squeeze his hand, and Perry takes a deep breath as he turns towards his niece. Candace, I really am sorry. I know I made you a promise, but there's only so much we can do with the time we have, and what with how dangerous each of our missions are, Dr. D and I have long agreed to take every chance together we could get, and we want to start our very next mission and the next step of our lives living our truth. As spouses. Perry squeezes Heinz's hand right back, and the man smiles encouragingly as Candace visibly calms.

"We could go to the courthouse before we leave-,” Heinz suggests kindly, before he is once more interrupted.

“No! We need to have a real wedding!” She reiterates, then started to beam. Perry didn't trust that beam. “We could have it in the backyard!”

”What?“ said Heinz.

”What?“ Said Lawrence.

”Great idea, sis!“ Phineas enthused.

Linda pinches the bridge of her nose, likely keeping in mind that she was entertaining guests. Perry wants to give her a hug. She looks like she needs it. "Candace," she says delicately. "We can't plan a real wedding in a day.”

”Oh, duh.“ She says, before rushing up the stairs, presumeably to her own room. There is some loud noises of bumping, stumbling and rummaging as the rest of the family are left downstairs in various baffled emotional states.

“Boy,” Heinz muses, smacking his lips. “You weren't kidding when you told me she was high-strung.”

Perry really hadn't been, but he wasn't given the chance to respond. Candace returns in a rush, suddenly dressed in a beautiful layered purple tulled gown, and a delicate face of make-up. Her slippers match. She's got a tiara. She's also holding her own tome of a scrapbook, bursting at the seams with paper cut-outs and brochures, and filling Perry with the cold, creeping feeling of dread.

“I've been planning this since I was ten.” She chirps excitedly. Lawrence blinks. “I can set up a perfect wedding so that you two can marry in a way that you'll never forget, and-,” She pauses importantly, stepping forward to approach Perry and Heinz to flip open her own scrapbook and show them its contents. Heinz raises a brow in respect. "Still have you two on the plane straight to the Galapagos with time to spare."

Once again, Perry and Heinz turn to look at each other, this time to non-verbally communicate their stunned surprise. But the boys had gotten to their feet in excitement, and everything was happening so fast. Candace hands Perry and Lawrence a magazine cutout for an ad for a local tailor's, with a penmarked address, and begins pulling them to their feet, pushing them towards the front door. “Uncle Perry, you and Dad are going to go into town to get suits and fresh haircuts, while Mom and I are going to the Salon to get manicures and matching bridesmaid outfits. Dr D, I've called Vanessa over, and she's gonna bring Miss Charlene so you guys can discuss and arrange for friends and family contacts for the guest list, so long as it's under the 50-person range with a plus one limit, as well as find another pair of wedding rings.”

Heinz sputters, likely to the very last part. Their engagement rings are made with re-forged parts of old Inators, and likely he'll want their wedding rings to be made with much the same sentiment. But Candace was on a mission, and there was nought to stop her.

“Can we help?” Phineas asked excitedly. Ferb was vibrating on his feet.

Candace groans. “Fine, you can help me plan the grand entrance. But no funny business!”

Perry hears Phineas turn to his brother saying half of his usual catchphrase (“Ferb, I know what we're going to-,”) before the door is slammed shut behind him, leaving him and Lawrence standing confused on the front porch of the house and only partly dressed for town. Lawrence managed to grab his keys and wallet, at least, which was a small mercy.

“Well,” Lawrence says. “I suppose we're getting suits, eh, little brother?”

Perry was only Lawrence's brother through legal means, and he detests being called little. Lawrence knows this, the little shit, but Perry doesn't have the energy to fight him on this one. He sighs. Let's just leave before Vanessa and Charlene-

A beautifully sleek dark green and black Mercedes screeches to a halt in front of their house, and Perry hears Charlene scream for her daughter to be careful as the teenager lets herself out the passenger side door, manic and dishevelled. From the middle of the road, she stares and points at them, screaming: “You're getting married?”

Perry sighs again, and bumps Lawrence's shoulder.

“Yup, that's our cue.” He agrees. “First to the car gets the radio?”

Perry beats him to the station wagon, but he doesn't let Perry change the station anyway. Prick.

[trinarysuns]

If you live anywhere in, like, the upper half of North America, you should look outside right now to see some crazy electromagnetic events happening. Coronal mass ejection baybee!!

[gwaaaaar]

Hello norton nation

I acknowledge that people will have a varied amount of headcanons for norton, its just that these two ethnic demographics are the most theorized/possible ^^ so consider this a "if you were held at gunpoint what would you think" sorta situation :) BE NICE TO EACH OTHER PLEASE nothing is ever 100% confirmed in canon

Soooo, ive always wondered peoples opinions on this matter. Ive seen a lot of people hc norton as mexican or latino as many of his influences are from south america (soul catcher being mexican, the hp lovecraft book character hes based off of being mexican, his dance emote possibly being columbian, and him being based off a chilean mining accident documentary.) Which is completely valid! But I think irish or (mostly) scottish Norton is just as interesting of an idea as his last name means crooked smile in gaelic iirc, in his birthday art from 2022 there were real maps from scotland besides him, and his family could have been affected by the potato famine. Either way, he would be a ethnic minority looked down upon in England leading to his peers harassing him so i feel like both have their merits. Im a firm mixed race norton believer though! Best of both worlds baybee

Please do leave your thoughts in rbs or comments! Would love to hear everyones opinions :)

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

wait are you actually American?? you live in America now or you’re from there?

Blessed to be born and raised on US soil baybee!

[docholligay]

The Magnus Archives

Continuing the episodes chosen for me by @tallangrycockatiel and @verbforverb!

Trail Rations: 1845 AMERICA BAYBEE!!! Clearly taken from an idea about the Donner party, but also playing into the way that so many people who were absolutely out of their fucking depth were sold on this idea of Going West, and so many swindlers were out there who very much either killed people or got them killed in the pursuit of a buck. Weirdly, this one has kinda good history, believe it or not, and a lot of what they would have found themselves up against (whispering corpse aside) was fairly accurate, which impressed me. The supernatural bit of this barely matters for me, the horror in realizing that you have overplayed your hand, and you have trusted the wrong people, and now you must become a monster in your own mind, or die, is all I need. Fantastic.

The Book of the Dead: I find this idea so intriguing! You open it and read it (I know the writer says he's not sure if it's ownership or reading, but the "You have already read too much" seems to suggest to me that it's reading) It makes complete sense to me that you would leave this to someone you low-key hated because I would assume you need to know they are intellectually curious enough to read it (I would be. Dead.) and trusting enough to read a big creepy book they got left. ADORE that every time you give into the need to know, every time you can't stop yourself from reading it, the date moves up.

[jackson-imbecille]

Monito del monte

Dromiciops gliroides

Family microbiotheriidae (only monito del monte still extant), order microbiotheria (only monito del monte still extant), superorder australidelphia (around 3/4 of marsupials. The Australian ones. From the Americas, only monito del monte still extant)

Very recently either one or two more species in its genus have been discovered. I’m gonna focus on this guy though.

Monito del monte is what a lot of people call a living fossil. This term is stupid though as it gives creationists hope that evolution is a hoax. “Living fossils” still evolve over time, just slower and in less noticeable ways.

The lineage of monito del monte is the most basal of the australidelphian superorder. The other two most basal marsupial groups to all of marsupials, not just australidelphians are the two opossum orders. That’s right! Two of em! Didelphimorphia (probably the first to branch), and paucituberculata.

So monito del monte was thought for the longest time to be a type of opossum, but they’re not opossums at all! Any physical similarities is convergent evolution baybee!

These guys live in spherical nests up in trees. They make the nests out of water resistant colihue leaves lines with moss or grass for insulation and camouflage (Colihue is a type of frost tolerant bamboo). They either live in pairs during the breeding season or year round. Not sure.

They also hibernate during winter! The base of the tail will swell with fat beforehand and their hearts slow from 230 bpm to under 30 bpm.

They mostly eat small invertebrates, but they like fruit. Especially mistletoe fruit.

ONLY NON OPOSSUM MARSUPIAL IN THE AMERICAS!!!!

@jackalspine @fifiibibii