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itwasrealtome · 3 months ago

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THIN ICE

Olivia Benson x fem! reader

⚠️ DO NOT READ IF THIS MIGHT TRIGGER YOU

ANGST | Olivia Benson x fem! detective reader | Masterlist

Summary : Detective Y/N Y/L/N, part of Olivia Benson’s Special Victims Unit, faces a life-threatening situation during a suspect’s arrest, chasing this one into an ultimate falls to his death. Injured but alive, Y/N finds herself in an hospital room, receiving stern words from Olivia about her reckless actions.

A/N : Hello my loves. I'm finally sharing this first Olivia X reader with you. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think. There are a few people I can't identify in the taglist, I'm sorry.

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•••

This afternoon, the streets seemed even more crowded than usual. The vehicles flooded the roads, coming from every corner and blocking the main way out.

Behind a queue of about ten of them, a police car came to a sudden halt. The alarm was on, and the blue and red flashing lights blinded anyone who looked in that direction.

But no one moved.

Not even the sound of a horn persuaded the citizens of New York to get out of the path.

Amanda’s grip on the wheel only tightened. She had never been able to understand the reason behind people’s insensitivity to this kind of thing. It was such an easy thing to understand. Besides, someone’s life often depended on it. Yet, there she was, turning furiously midway, her partner gasping in surprise, her shirt now stained with hot coffee.

— Dude, can’t you just warn before doing that kind of thing?

The blonde gave a brief glance to her passenger. She expected to find her glued to the door, her fingers clenched around the top handle, but she didn’t.

Y/N was desperately trying to absorb the contents of her cup on her worktop. The wipers provided with her order, finally finding their use.

While most people would have been annoyed about staining a piece of clothing, the young detective was not. She seemed much more upset about losing a few drops of her beverage. The former could still be replaced, but the latter was definitely needed.

— Sorry about your shirt.

— Yeah, well you owe me a coffee.

The driver’s smile only widened when she heard her partner muttering complaints. She knew her well enough to say that it had nothing to do with that slight accident. It was cute. Of course, it was. But Amanda could see through it. She knew it had nothing to do with the coffee. Sure, the days were long and their job involved finding stimulants to stay awake, but Y/N was never acting like that. Something was different. And who better to notice than someone who practically lived with her?

— Sure you’re okay?

— Rollins, it’s just a shirt. I think I can get over it.

Amanda gave her a knowing glance. She expected this kind of answer from the young officer. Everyone knew what kind of person she was.

Committed, she was always the first to arrive at the precinct and the last to leave. She was practically married to the job by now. And though Kat had trouble following orders, Y/N did not. She was the perfect partner. Amanda couldn’t remember a time when Y/N had lost control. But these days, everything seemed to fall apart.

It began with a couple of small comments, here and there, a bit too harsh coming from Y/N’s mouth. Next up, her silence during the team talk was a concerning factor for Amanda. If anyone always had something to add to the investigation, it was her. This ranged from a simple detail no one had noticed, to scientific or sociological facts. It was often complicated to keep the detective quiet, so her lack of involvement was bound to catch the eye. That and the fact the blonde had seen her leave the bunks two mornings in a row at the exact same time.

Sure, it was just the addition of minor details. But the older woman’s gut was not wrong, not about this. Something was wrong with her partner. And it had nothing to do with a simple lack of caffeine.

— Oh, don’t give me that kind of look.

— But you’re not telling me the truth, Y/N/N!

Y/N huffed quietly. At times in her life, she hated being around people whose job was to investigate. She cursed them all equally. She just couldn’t help herself the last few days. Her anger was aimed at a specific and unique person, but that person being in law enforcement themselves, it was almost overwhelming to go to work every day. Time seemed to run too slowly there. The only moments she enjoyed were those outside the building. The cold New York weather allowed her to clear her mind and take a deep breath. And she always had something to do, after all the city never slept.

—Like you don’t keep anything to yourself, huh?

Amanda faintly spluttered. Everyone knew she had had difficult times, but she wasn't the only one. And now that she was honest with herself, she knew she had made mistakes. One thing’s for sure, she did not want her partner to replicate these.

— I made some mistakes, most of them I don’t want you to repeat.

— I seriously doubt you did this one.

That was all she could get out of the young detective. Amanda knew it as she watched her turn toward the window. The mere reflection of her face gave her a glimpse of what she was really feeling inside, a sweet mixture of anger and bitterness. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't something they could fix with a drink. And this worried the blonde even more.

— Just promise me you won't do anything stupid.

These words captured the passenger's interest again. She arched an eyebrow at her partner, a smile forming at the corner of her lips. Knowing their duo’s dynamics, she had dozens of retorts on the tip of her tongue, all of them a little more mischievous than the last. Instead, she just shook her head gently. Amanda didn't have to know how upset she was about the whole thing. She didn’t deserve to worry so much. And Y/N certainly had no right to be such a burden to her partner.

— Like what? Jumping off a building? y/n chuckled at the blonde’s glare. Relax. I won’t do anything of that kind, I promise.

At that very moment, the young detective genuinely meant it. She had not gotten up with such an idea in mind. If jumping off a building was regarded as a very stupid gesture, she considered her routine more so.

It was in the way the precinct’s bunks were beginning to feel like home. And how she spent every second of her days with the badge on her waist. She had no idea when she had last stepped into her apartment for more than a shower. Her desk was overflowing with paperwork and books in which she always found a way to bury herself. It was much more than a way to distract herself. At all costs, she avoided raising her head, out of fear of meeting the gaze that froze her every time. The path she was on was, for that matter, significantly more dangerous than whatever stupid thing Amanda was thinking about.

But she could not say that to her.

To anyone, actually.

— Weren't we just called to make sure that this jerk wasn't prowling around the residence?

In any other context, Y/N would have felt like a fool. Her back nearly arched as she tried to make out what was going on in a street they weren't even close to yet. She may have lacked sleep and insight into her personal life, but her cop intuition never failed her.

— You'd be sure of that if you'd listened to a single word the captain said.

— Something’s wrong.

Amanda brought them to the next intersection before momentarily stopping the car. The sight over her partner’s shoulder sent a chill down her spine. Despite years of experience, she couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline every time. The crowd of cops down the street certainly wasn’t helping. They were everywhere. Mostly hidden behind their vehicles. But their vests did not go unnoticed and neither did their weapons pointed at a specific target.

— Crap, I hate when you’re right about this stuff.

— Hum…what was that you were saying about our captain again? y/n faced her friend with a teasing smile on her face. She couldn’t help herself. Always listen to what sh–

The sudden acceleration of the vehicle silenced Y/N. She felt grateful once again that her belt was keeping her safe. No day went by without her being in some kind of danger, but she never thought she’d have to worry about dying while Amanda was behind the wheel.

— Would you please stop doing that? cried the younger detective, her hands still clutching the top handle. And since when do you drive so badly? Damn it.

— Guess now you’ll stop driving like a maniac if I let you get behind the wheel.

The door swung shut before she could react. She stepped out of the car herself and walked over to Amanda. A vest was tossed in her face before she could even think about opening her mouth. But anyone who thought she would have given up so easily was wrong.

— I do not drive like a maniac.

Her friend gave her a knowing look as she closed the trunk. Now was definitely not the time to have this kind of conversation, but Amanda was glad her partner hadn’t lost everything that made her the person she was.

She was relentless, both in her work and in her personal life. To be defeated by a suspect in an interrogation room was a rare occurrence. Within the profession, many officers wondered about her career choice. They could imagine her leaving the field to terrify judges in a courtroom. Perhaps because they were themselves scared to death to face her. Seeking victory in a debate with a woman like Y/N was a waste of time. She knew when she was wrong, and would always acknowledge it. Nevertheless, she also knew when she was right. And in those moments, Amanda was the first to grab a bag of popcorn.

— That you do.

The detective’s hands found the velcro on the vest from memory as she was too busy glowering at her friend. The protection weighed on her shoulders. It was almost enough to give her a reason to fall apart. That, and the weight of life that was beginning to take its toll on her.

Slightly defeated, she stomped over to Amanda to catch up with her. She knew the other detective was right. Her anger was evident in the way she drove. Since then, she was assigned the role of co-pilot. It was okay. But she loathed being deprived of her usual distraction. It was starting to loop in her mind. She needed a way out.

— Detective Rollins and Y/L/N, Special Victims Unit.

Amanda shoved her badge in the man’s direction, half-expecting him to tell her to piss off. He dominated the scene with his large stature and a rank evident to all. The rookies were following his orders and keeping their mouths shut. Something that obviously wouldn't work with Olivia Benson-trained agents. He didn't seem to mind, guiding the two detectives as close as possible to the scene. But then, the mere idea of having to send men into the building made him raise his chin in an authoritative, disapproving manner.

— Our only witness is trapped in this building, Rollins began the fight, finger pointing accusingly. I don't care how, I want that man in custody.

If one of them had looked up for even half a second, instead of fighting over who had the biggest –which was obviously Y/N in this situation– they might have been able to stop the young detective in her tracks. Amanda had had enough of listening to the man's whining as he waved his rank in her face. And her colleague, the one she was supposed to look after, was tired of simply waiting.

As discreet as a mouse in the middle of the city, Y/N circled the building and quickly found a fire escape. It wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind when the impulse to walk into the building first came to her, but she couldn't really say she'd given it much thought. With a bit of imagination, and a little help from a trash container, she managed to pull herself up to the top. Now, maybe that was the beginning of a crazy idea. She could already imagine her partner and captain scolding her - if, and only if, she managed to get out of there alive and intact.

At the top of the stairs leading to the third floor, the detective stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of their suspect's agitated voice.

Thomas Patterson, 45, suspected of having violently abused his wife before killing her, and of abusing his stepdaughter - Johanne Morales. The man's profile was clear: a respectful-looking husband and father-in-law, loved by all, carefree, but once the door was closed he turned into a control freak with urges he simply couldn't escape. He clearly hadn't planned to kill his wife. The autopsy had revealed signs of haste and mistakes that a man like Patterson would never have made if he had prepared properly. But he had made mistakes. His blows had been too violent, Johanne had interrupted him, and he'd had to finish the job quickly - too quickly, in order to hide his crime.

Y/N had studied his profile carefully. That's what she did best, that and avoiding her captain. She knew he was restless, nervous, ready to do anything to cover up his actions. The final piece of the puzzle was to eliminate the only witness, the one who would go all the way to court to see him take the fall. She had an advantage over him. She was there, so close to the goal, and he was unaware of her presence. At least, that was until Amanda's voice came through the radio.

— Y/L/N, you've got two seconds to get your butt over here.

The young detective could have banged her own head against the wall. Boy, had she been stupid on that one. She clenched her jaw, the urge to bite her fist growing cumbersome as she prayed Thomas hadn't heard. But he definitely did.

A front door opened slowly, the creaking hinges betraying the building’s condition. The man was probably armed, the sound of the guard echoing in the empty corridor. Each of his steps shook the wooden floor and sent a current of adrenalin through Y/N's veins. He was getting closer. She could smell him and his perfume. Him and her fear.

As soon as he was close enough to round the corner of the stairwell, the young detective took this as her cue. She charged at the man, her hands reaching for the 9mm held firmly in his rough, bleeding hands. In a split second, the magazine slid out and collapsed on the floor. She sent it tumbling down a few steps with her boot, before landing a knee into the suspect’s parts. This only confused him for the briefest moment. He was on her again before she could even flinch. Her body hit the wall with a heavy thud, the vest shielding her body from the heavy impact. However, the man’s hands found her neck and tightened their grip, pulling her head violently forward and then pushing it back, slamming it against the concrete wall.

He repeated the motion twice more, the detective’s pleas of pain provoking a feeling he himself could not begin to describe. Y/N wasn’t done with him yet. He clearly wanted to lash out at a woman and had a nasty habit of underestimating them all. Only, today wasn’t his lucky day. He was forced into the apartment where he had deliberately tied up the young Johanne. It was his turn to bang into something. The dresser barely tilted behind him, but the vase crashed hard against the top of his skull. He felt the water run down his face, the smell of freshly bought flowers wafting through the air.

Back in a corner, Johanne tried desperately to struggle out of her bonds, her words puffed out by the duct tape over her mouth. She could only witness the struggle between her back-up and her assailant. Watching as Y/N unloaded all her pent-up anger on the man who had dared to cause so much harm. In one smooth motion, Thomas grabbed the detective’s gun, a triumphant glint in his eyes. Hope was soon lost, his chances of getting out of there alive and free close to zero. His opponent was relentless and had no intention of letting him slip away. His only option, he realized, a flash of light reflecting off the window, was to drag the detective with him in his fall.

Outside, Amanda was still arguing with the man in charge of operations. He hadn’t given up and neither had she. Only when, as the argument continued to escalate, gunshots were heard, followed by the shattering of a window pane, did they come to an agreement. The plan didn’t even have time to take shape before two bodies flew out of the building.

First, the blonde saw the man she recognized as their suspect crash hard to the ground, the collision knocking him down instantly. Then came a tremendous thump and the shrill sound of a car alarm. Straight ahead of her, on one of the patrol cars, had landed Y/N. The height of the fall meant that the roof of the vehicle had been crushed and some of the windows smashed. That wasn't what Amanda was most worried about. Her partner, the one who'd promised her she wouldn't do anything stupid – like jumping off the third floor of a building, was sprawled motionless on the broken glass, blood on the back of her skull.

— Oh my God, Y/N, in one stride, she was as close as she could get to her friend. Call an ambulance. Now!

For once, the man made himself useful, radio in hand, as he asked for help. He now stood with one, maybe two, even three victims to deal with if the detective didn't make it. He could already imagine the damage it would do to his career. Besides, he knew Captain Benson very well and had no desire to mess with her.

Needless was his worry. The more Amanda studied her friend, the more she realized how lucky she’s been. Y/N was simply stunned, staring at the New York sky with an uncharacteristic intensity. She began to laugh, full-throated, heartily. It was probably the adrenaline pumping again. Tears joined the party, leaving funny marks on her bloody cheeks. Suddenly, she remembered.

— Johanne. She's alive. Up there. Y/N looked up at Amanda expectantly. She needs help.

***

Captain Olivia Benson had seen enough in her career not to let anxiety get the better of her. She had been beaten, kidnapped, almost died and dragged through the mud in front of an entire courtroom. She had reached a point where facing certain types of suspects no longer made her lose her footing.

But someone was bound to make her lose it.

Briskly, almost to the point of knocking herself off her feet, she made her way through the corridors of a hospital she knew all too well. The distinctive clatter of her heels against the floor blended perfectly with the incessant beeping and distant hubbub of such a place. She wasn't there to see a victim, as she often was. Her hasty and agitated demeanor only aroused the suspicions of the medical staff who had crossed paths with her so many times. It wasn't just a professional matter.

It hadn't been for a long time.

When Olivia reached room 212, she didn't spare a moment's hesitation. One of her youngest detectives and latest recruit was sitting wisely on the edge of the bed, her legs wriggling in the air like a child's. A nurse was visibly busy behind her, dropping more and more glass flakes into her tray as she went. She leaned against the doorframe, arms folded tightly against her chest, eyes focused on the sight that made her stomach hurt in spite of herself.

She watched as Y/N's chest, covered in dried blood, continued to pulsate with every breath, as hematomas were already starting to spread across her face and torso, and as her plain face twisted in pain as soon as the nurse reached for another piece of glass. Just a few days ago, her first instinct would have been to rush to her protégé’s side and calm the agony she knew to be growing in her heart. But she'd vowed to keep her distance and stay in her current position: Captain Benson, unit chief.

All too quickly for the young detective's liking, the nurse finished her treatment and left the two law enforcement agents behind. Olivia had had the decency to wait until the door was closed before lashing out at her, which didn't stop Y/N from rolling her eyes. She'd already imagined this conversation - or rather, monologue - and knew she wouldn't come out of it unscathed. She'd probably lose her badge. No matter, she'd already lost her heart.

— Have you completely lost your mind? You could’ve been killed.

This was the cue for a lengthy sermon that she couldn't escape. The words left Olivia's mouth at a speed that seemed unbearable. She paced back and forth, her arms stretching out in waves of frustration and indignation, her cheeks rosy with emotion. She'd done some stupid things herself when she was just a rookie, but throwing herself off the third floor of a building had never been on the list.

— Are you done? y/n arched an eyebrow as Olivia finally paused. I saved a life today. While Amanda and that jerk were fighting over who had the biggest, which apparently I did.

— No, you refused to follow orders. Not only did you put yourself in danger, you put everyone's lives in danger. Heaven help us again that you were wearing your vest, otherwise it could have been a lot worse.

— I don't know why you care so much, you're just my boss!

Although these words were intended to hurt Olivia, it was Y/N who took the brunt of the blow. It was one thing to know that their relationship had been reduced to this, but it was quite another to admit it in person. The brunette was no longer entitled to worry so much, to ask her to watch out and send her a text as soon as she got home. Whatever had been was no more.

— Right, Olivia broke into an almost scoffing snort. Let me tell you, as your captain, that you won't be leaving the precinct for a long time.

— You’re benching me? Liv, you can’t do this!

— What you did was completely irresponsible. You don't want to follow orders, fine. But you're not leaving this desk without my permission.

The young detective had been holding her breath for a long time– far too long. She'd spent days avoiding conflict, lamenting in her corner, mourning the end of a story she'd thought would last forever. It wasn't just about what had just happened, it was something else, something more personal. She felt as if Olivia had no idea how to express her concern, as if her only option was to play the role of the big bad boss. But she was tired of hiding, of running away, of avoiding confrontation.

— Breaking my heart wasn't enough for you, uh? She rose from the bed, hastily putting on her jacket. If you want me to leave the squad, just say so.

For the first time, she faced her head-on. Head held high, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, ready to stand on tiptoe if that would help reach the brunette's height. She faced those brown pearls with all the courage she had left, her own eyes misty with tears she'd never let flow. This was it, so close yet so far, two souls who knew each other becoming strangers once again.

Olivia reached out with a last ounce of regret, brushing away a tear that had escaped down the young detective's cheek with the tip of her thumb. Her heart urged her to do more, to embrace this bruised woman, to bring her all the comfort she needed. She wanted to take Y/N home, wrap her in one of her shirts, tell her how much she loved her. In another life, where they were just two soul mates, where Olivia didn't have to worry about repercussions, whatever they might be. This was where she could find comfort.

— Go home. Take a few days. Get some rest. We'll talk about it when you get back.

The New Yorker had rarely seen a face shattered in a matter of seconds. Her words had urged Y/N to free herself from her hold, her head heavy and spinning from all the hassle and concussion she'd picked up from the blows. Her shoulder nudged her superior's as she walked by, a gesture of no little importance. She did not look back once to meet her former lover's gaze again.

Maybe she should have.

Maybe she would have seen the same love, the same tears, that Olivia saw in her eyes.

Maybe the ice wasn't so thin after all.

•••

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#olivia benson x reader #law and order svu #oneshot #angst #amanda rollins x reader #olivia benson

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storiesofsvu · 4 months ago

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Cocoa

Amanda Rollins x reader warnings: none? brief mention of pet abandonment. all cutesy fluff. Man. I rarely ever get requests for Amanda, and every time I do I am reminded of HOW MUCH I LOVE HER. More justice and love for Ms Rollins please. I need to think of more ideas for her. Love Amanda? Sign up for the taglist here! Got an idea for a story? Send it on in here!

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Even though you missed the jingling of Amanda’s keys in the hallway you knew she was a few steps from the front door at the way Frannie’s head popped up, looking over the back of the couch at the incoming noise. After a couple of sniffs she seemed satisfied, plopping her head back down beside you, continuing to chew on her bone. You gave her a little scratch behind the ears and let out a breath, your pulse quickening at the sound of Amanda’s keys in the lock.

She opened the door to find you on the couch, television turned on to Bluey as you were (presumably) cooing to Frannie.

“Oh, that’s it.” You laughed softly, “such a good girl. Okay, ohhkkay, ssssh.” Your hand reached out to pet her as she let out a low whine. “I know, I know. She’s home now, okay.”

“Awee.” Amanda let out a chuckle, “did someone miss me?” She whistled quietly, “c’mere girl.”

Frannie popped up on the opposite end of the couch from where you were facing, quickly jumping down and trotting over to her mom to say hello. At first, distracted, Amanda didn’t notice, cooing at her dog as she gave her a very welcoming pet and big scratch. Her ears picked up another whine that definitely wasn’t human and her head titled back up to catch you with a sheepish look on your face.

“So… if Frannie is over here…”

“That was… my stomach?” You offered with a wince and Amanda let out a small scoff of a laugh. She straightened up, letting out a small sigh as whatever you were hiding on the other side of the couch let out a yip.

“Sounds like you haven’t eaten all day.” Her hands fell to her hips, “what’d you do?”

“I… did not do anything.” You made a little kissing noise and the other dog finally popped up into Amanda’s sight line over the back of the couch. It looked like a chocolate lab, big enough to look like a fully grown dog but small enough Amanda knew it was likely still just a big puppy. You cupped its head in your hands, making more kissing noises as it sniffed at your face as your voice slipped into puppy dog mode. “But some big meanie left this gorgeous angel in the alley way.” You turned to look at her, “I told you I heard something crying last night. Bastard left her outside in the storm all night tied to the damn dumpster. I saw her when I went out this morning.”

“Are you absolutely sure someone wasn’t coming back for her?” Amanda asked, slowly approaching the back of the couch as you went back to playing with the dog.

“Yes.” You nodded, nodding the dog’s head in your hands as you did so, “yes, I am.” You looked back to your girlfriend, “I went back down with some food and water right away, she was super friendly and just wanted some love. I left her all afternoon just in case, it was already getting dark and the poor thing starting crying again. Frannie and I just couldn’t bare listening to it anymore.” Your lips formed a pout and Amanda could almost see the glistening of tears starting in your eyes, “when I went back down she was just so happy to see us! Instant friends with this one, I tell ya.” Your hand reached out to give Frannie a little scratch. “Then I found the note on her collar…”

“Someone really just left her?” It was her turn to pout, finally reaching out, letting the dog sniff the back of her hand, giving it a few licks before she scratched her behind the ears.

“Yeah. Note said she was a Christmas present for the kids, but the kids weren’t ‘doing their chores’ of taking care of her and the family didn’t want her anymore.” You said the last part in just over a whisper as you covered the dogs ears, “she’s house trained, no issues and is up to date on all her shots and stuff. Though I did make an appointment with the vet for tomorrow just in case.”

“Baby…” Amanda’s head tilted and you let out a sigh at what you knew must be coming. “We can’t keep her.”

“Why not?!” You whined and Amanda nearly laughed as both the new dog and Frannie let out whines in practically the same pitch as all three of you stared up at her.

“We… already have Frannie.” She gestured, “and I work late hours. I feel guilty enough leaving one dog cooped up in a one bedroom apartment all day.”

“I work from home like, eighty percent of the time, you wouldn’t have to worry about us. Besides, another big dog means another level of protection.” You countered, “you always say you wish I was safer out at night, or when you’re working overnights. Can’t get much safer than this.” You gestured to your lap which was slowly being taken over by both dogs, Frannie nuzzling at ear while the other one licked your cheek.

“She does really seem to like you.” The blonde replied, chewing on her lip.

“They get along perfectly too!” You bartered, gesturing to the dogs as you picked up a toy, swinging it between them before tossing it down the hall and they both ran off, instantly starting to play with each other like they’d grown up together. “See? Instant best friends. You can’t deny Frannie that.”

“Oh my god.” Amanda laughed, running a hand over her face. “What happens when you’re out for a walk and the kids see their dog and come crying wanting it back?”

“Note said they live in Staten Island, left her here so that wouldn’t happen.”

“They seriously drove all that way to dump her in the garbage? When there’s plenty of shelters all around the city?” She wasn’t just frustrated, she was pissed now, a feeling the dog could sense as it jogged down the hallway and went right up to Amanda, nudging at her legs until it was getting pets, “oh you poor thing.”

You knew it, a smile creeping up on your lips as Amanda crouched down to actually greet the dog and her face instantly melted. The look of love and adoration immediately taking over her eyes as she cooed at the dog who nuzzled as deep into her as it could.

“Oh, you’re a good girl.” She cooed, “such a sweet girl. What’s your name, hmm?”

“Cocoa.” You replied, and the dog let out a quiet bark.

Amanda stood back up with a small sigh, glancing between the two dogs who immediately started playing together again before looking over at you.

“Puh-leeeeaaase.” You pulled an overdramatic pout and faked crying.

“You are worse than a child, you know that?”

“At least I have my own source of income to support Cocoa and now we’ll each have one to walk when we take them out. I mean, Manda… look at them. They’re so happy, she’s so much happier not being tied to a dumpster in the rain… you’re not going to ruin that, are you?”

“Wow.” She laughed, rounding around the couch to drop down beside you.

“Well?” You batted your eyelashes, “yes?”

“Fine.” She finally agreed with a small smile and you let out a shriek, launching toward her to pepper her face with kisses.

The noise alone was enough to pull both of the dog’s attention, barks echoing through the apartment as they jumped back up onto the couch, jumping on the both of you, cold noses and wet kisses getting everywhere they could.

“Okay, okay.” Amanda laughed, gently pushing Frannie down onto her lap, “you win, you win.” She booped her nose, “you got a new sister, happy?” Frannie agreed with a small woof, rubbing her head into Amanda’s hands.

“You hear that?” You cooed to Cocoa, scratching underneath her chin, “you get to stay! Welcome home Cocoa.”

You looked back to Amanda with such love and happiness in your eyes that she knew there was never a way in a million years she would have actually said no to the whole thing. She loved you too much, loved seeing you happy too much and this way Frannie would have someone to play with when no one was home.

It was a win win for everyone.

__________________

@mickey-gomez @hbkpop @bisexualcrowley @red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @lesbianspacecowboy @wannabe-fic-reader @gaylorrds @beccabarba @mysticfalls01 @alexbllake @infernumlilith @australiancarisi @wandas-wife @emskisworld @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @sia2raw @dxtery @anlin2058 @itisdoctortoyousir @alexxavicry @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @7thavenger @m00nkn1ghts @sapphicprentiss @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @desperate-gay @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @noahrex @temp0rary-bliss @wittygutsy

#amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #cocoa #law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #amanda rollins fluff #amanda rollins one shot #amanda rolliins fanfic

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adi06lena · 2 years ago

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Olivia, driving Amanda, and Y/N: so how was your day?

Y/N: we almost got surprise adopted!

Olivia: what?

Amanda: we almost got kidnapped.

Olivia: oh, okay.

Olivia: *slams on breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

#l&o: svu #incorrect svu #olivia benson x reader #amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #law and order organized crime #law & order

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daddydoddsjr · 2 years ago

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If the Law and Order people wanted to impress someone on a date, what would they go for?

Pairings || Law and Order SVU characters x GN!Reader

Contents/Warnings || First date fluff, mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety sorta

Authors Note || sorry that asks are coming out slowly, i’ve been hyperfixating on a different fandom :’)

Rafael Barba

Flowers on the first date kinda man

Would take you somewhere expensive

Probably a quiet, fancy restaurant where the two of you could have nice conversations in a calm environment

Refuses to let you pay, not even half

If it’s going well, he’d maybe want to walk around the city afterwards so your conversations can continue

He definitely planned all of this to try to be impressive

Sonny Carisi

Instead of a restaurant, he’d want to cook for you

His cooking skills are impressive enough

But he also impresses you just by being himself— an attentive listener and a perfect gentleman

Doesn’t mean he’s not freaking out on the inside, though

You can tell

Probably would google how to impress someone on a first date tbh

Olivia Benson

Hybrid bookstore/coffee shop date

Isn’t really worried about “impressing” you, so she just acts as she normally would

Would want to pay for your coffee though

And unintentionally impresses you by the amount of books she’s read and the conversations she makes

But who wouldn’t be impressed by her in general anyways?

Amanda Rollins

Paint and sip class !!

She’s confident and isn’t very nervous

The sip part of the class definitely helps calm any nerves that arise

Thinks the paint and sip is fun for a first date

And hopes maybe it’s just a little impressive

Fin Tutuola

Wouldn’t be great at planning the date himself

Either Olivia helps or you’re the one planning the date

He’s also definitely more nervous than he says he is

Despite this, he impresses you with how funny he is

Also offers to pick you up to go wherever you decide

And pay for anything, or at least split costs if you try to decline his offer

Joe Velasco

Dinner date at his favourite restaurant

Really, really hopes you like the food as much as he does

Possibly a nightcap afterwards so you’ll have more time to talk and continue the date

He tries a little too hard to impress you by trying to show off his knowledge on any subject you bring up

But you can tell he’s anxious

But the fact that he’s trying so hard is cute

Elliot Stabler

Central park date

Walking around a bit, sitting and talking on a bench, getting drinks and food from any food carts that are around

Tries to impress you by paying for anything you want and being attentive

He’s a little awkward

And protective despite it being the first date

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idontevenknowwhatt · 3 months ago

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MAIN MASTERLIST

My masterlist for everyone I write for currently, there will be more added later on. Feel free to request anything, I hope you all enjoy :))

Law and Order: SVU

Olivia Benson

Amanda Rollins

Criminal Minds

Emily Prentiss

Penelope Garcia

Greys Anatomy

Addison Montgomery

Callie Torres

Arizona Robbins

Bridgerton

Anthony Bridgerton

Benedict Bridgerton

Colin Bridgerton

Violet Bridgerton

Bridgerton Sister

Once Upon A Time

Regina Mills

Emma Swan

#emily prentiss x reader #olivia benson x reader #violet bridgerton x reader #regina mills x reader #amanda rollins x reader #violet bridgerton #emma swan x reader #penelope garcia x reader #Addison Montgomery x reader #callie torres x reader #Arizona robbins x reader #Anthony Bridgerton x reader #Benedict Bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton x reader #masterlist #fanfiction #jennifer jareau x reader

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multifandommilfs · 1 year ago

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Sleepless Mischief

Pairing: Amanda Rollins x reader

Wc: 827

Summary: you cause some mischief as sleepless nights hit

A/n: totally not projecting my insomnia into this fic and is totally not self-indulgent.

masterlist

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The curtains were drawn wide, welcoming a cycle of getting rid of the stuffy air inside and inviting the fresh warmth from outside. With a rush of the April wind through the patio door, heat curled beneath the sheets and lingered.

The swelter made perspire run up your skin, seeping through your clothes and you kicked off the covers with a quiet grunt, frustration pursing your lips at another restless night. You shallowed your breath, careful not to rouse Amanda because your face was pressed in the crook of her neck, and being a detective, her guard was always up and running, volatile to even Frannie's snore that was boisterous within the silent house.

In the darkness, your feet figured out the edge of the bed. It became a mission now to leave without being caught. You lifted the pressure of your chin on her shoulder ever so slightly so that the lack of weight would be adaptable, your breath latched in your throat so that it wouldn't blow her hair to tickle her face.

The bed creaked at the shift and your heart leapt to your throat, eyes darting instantly to her features but no, there was not a frown pulling on her brow and so you resumed. As you finally hauled your head off her pillow, smiling to yourself about your achievement, your hair drooped and brushed past her cheek, too quick for you to notice because you were already playing the balancing game with your limbs, thinking you were out of her radar.

But you were not. You completely overlooked the moment her eyes peeked open in alarm, too focused on your foot not kicking over the bedside lamp or the alarm clock or the bedside table itself that your neck was straining over your right shoulder, as if you were trying to avoid a landmine.

She could've laughed as she watched the heel of your foot slam into the bedside table, you holding back an expressive grimace at the noise and the pain, but she chose to keep quiet as you continued backpedalling after casting a furtive glance at her.

She had her eyes on you the whole time as you slid off the bed in a tremendously ungraceful manner, legs off the ledge smoothly until you must've scraped your shin on the bedframe when you leapt backwards off the bed and literally banged into the wall behind from the pain. A laugh almost escaped her until she reminded herself of her role.

But what fun would it be if she didn't scare you a little? So she shuffled rather dramatically, hugging the sheets and saw as you stiffened, wide eyed against the wall. She gave herself a full view of the room, wanting to catch you in the act the moment you open the door.

She didn't expect you to watch her for another beat, even after the fright wore off from your features, shoulders rolling down. You were encased in a dim glow from the patio door, and your irises glittered as your lips hooked up into a slight smile only at the sight of her. She felt weak inside all a sudden, her own smile threatening to surface.

When you finally dragged your gaze off of her, she was a breadth away from grinning at all your affection, heart bursting with joy. She was up before your hand could even brush the doorknob.

"Where are ya runnin' off to?" Her laugh bubbled over as you yelped, whirling over in her direction.

Once the fret washed over, you blew out a exasperated breath. "Was about'a take Frannie out for a walk cos I couldn't sleep."

"You couldn't just wake me?" She said, amusement apparent in her voice even though it was ladened with sleep.

"No of course not, you work twenty four seven already, I'm sorry I woke you." You ambled over to her side of the bed, your lips meeting her temple. "Yeah kickin' the bedside table? You weren't exactly discreet."

You rolled your eyes at her words, turning back to the door. "Go back to bed 'Manda, you need it."

"And leave you alone in those clothes? Not a chance." She leapt from the bed and in a few quick steps, her lips pecked yours before she swung the door open. And in another step almost tripped over Frannie who was stationed by the door, her leash and collar hanging on her lower jaw. She barked, tail wagging at Amanda before she looked at you.

"Yeah Fran, I'm joining this time." And that was cue for you to leash it up before it went prancing up to the doorstep.

"How many times have you gone out like this?" Amanda eyed you, unsure herself if she wanted to know the answer.

"As much as you have in mind." You said with a laugh and all she could do was shake her head, smiling all the way out the front door.

#amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #law and order svu fic #law and order fanfiction #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #l&o svu #svu #amanda rollins fluff

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jiggy-manda · 8 months ago

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hi <3 i’m opening requests for amanda rollins!!! please let me know what you’d like to see

#amanda rollins #amanda rollins fluff #amanda rollins smut #amanda rollins fanfiction #amanda rollins x reader

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x-bluefire-heart-x · 1 year ago

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Some Sugar

Just something short and sweet for my first Amanda fic. It's a gender neutral reader. It's a little fluffy piece, of a morning after between the two of them.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

Prompt List

Your body was deliciously sore when you woke up this morning. Love bits and scratches covered your body. You hummed as you stretched as much as you could with Amanda curled up in your arms, her blonde hair tickling your nose as you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. You gently stroked up and down her arm, as she slowly woke up.

“Good morning,” she groaned burying her head a little more into your neck, her southern accent heavier with sleep.

“Good morning, lovely,” you murmured. “Sleep alright?”

“Like a log, we are repeating last night every night if I sleep like that afterwards,” she replied kissing your neck, right over one of the hickeys she had left.

“That the only reason you would want a repeat?” you asked. “I mean even if it was I definitely wouldn’t argue, in fact if I ever do, lock me up.”

“Not the only reason but maybe the main one,” Amanda teased as she propped herself up on her elbow to hover above you, allowing you to see some of the marks you left on her body.

“Well, still rude,” you huffed rolling your eyes playfully causing her to laugh. You grinned up at her, loving the sound of her laugh. Loving the fact that you were the reason for it even more. You puckered your lips up at her. “I think I should get a kiss.”

“Oh you do, do you?” she asked leaning down nudging your nose with hers, rubbing them together as she brought her other hand up to run along your jaw, trailing up and down your neck. “Some sugar for my sugar?”

“Okay that was terrible, Rollins,” you winced at the pun, a teasing smirk pulling at your lips. “But yes please, mumma, a little sugar.”

Amanda started to pull away sighing at your dramatics but relented when you started to whine and pout up at her. She lightly trailed her lips along the same path her fingers took up your neck and along your jaw on the opposite side. You hummed happily moving your head back to give her more room as your fingers of one hand lightly ran up and down her spine, while your other hand cupped the back of her head. She gently pressed her lips against yours, moving them slowly in no hurry and with none of the extra heat that was there last night. This was a different kind of intimate. But it was just as good. Everything with Amanda Rollins was amazing.

“As much as I loved last night,” Amanda said in between her kisses. “It’s the morning after that I think I like the best.”

“Me too,” you agreed cupping both sides of her cheeks as you stroked your thumbs along her cheek bones. “What do you say we cuddle a little more before I make you some breakfast?”

“And if I want to make you breakfast?” Amanda asked laying on your chest with her chin propped up on her fist. “You make food for people all the time, let someone do that for you instead.”

“Honey, I adore you truly, I do, but I also don’t want to die from food poisoning,” you tapped her nose.

“I am not that bad,” she protested. “See if I call you sugar again.”

“You had to pull double shifts last time you tried to cook for your coworkers,” you reminded her. “I didn’t get to see much of you. Plus, love, you messed up frying an egg last time.”

She pouted, snapping at your finger when you tried to push her lips out of the pout. You quickly removed your finger not wanting to lose it, as you rather needed them for cooking. Instead you took to running your fingers up and down her sides, you inched a little closer to her ribs knowing she was a little ticklish there.

“Don’t you dare,” she wiggled out of your grip and away from you. “Fine, I can’t cook.”

“Which there is nothing wrong with,” you informed her. “I personally cannot put flatpack furniture together, but you can. None of this stuff in our apartment would exist without you.”

“That is true, you are hopeless with it,” Amanda giggled conceding the argument as she fell back beside you on her back, opening one arm to invite you to her side. You gleefully rolling over, wrapping yourself around her like an octopus. “Ten more minutes and then food.”

“Deal,” you placed a kiss on the hollow of her throat. “Scrambled eggs?”

“Of course,” she said. “What else on a Sunday morning?”

“Right, right, how dare I think you might want something different for a change,” you teased.

“Shush you,” Amanda ordered.

“Yes ma’am,” you did the best salute you good without moving from your current position. You were rewarded with Amanda’s chest moving with her silent laughter as she playfully swatted your arm that was under her hand.

“That’s what I like to hear Sugar.”

#writing #imagine #law and order svu #imagines #gender neutral reader #law and order svu imagines #gender neutral y/n #Amanda Rollins #amanda rollins x reader #Amanda Rollins Imagines #Amanda Rollins x gender neutral reader #Fluff #Morning after

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theshejen · 4 months ago

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Amanda Rollons x Reader (that no one asked for)

You had just gone out with your team at the 16th. Liv, Fin, Sonny and Rollins were going your separate ways. You has spend the evening chatting with Amanda as you had gotten to know her better recently. She saw the pride background on your personal phone and she commented on it. You had helped her work through an LGBT case, as you could answer all her questions. You had been worried that she would be a homophobe because of her background but luckily she wasn’t. You lived near each other and were laughing down the street, nearing home.

“Did you see his face when he got caught?” she asked you before laughing loudly. “ I did indeed see his expression though the window, Amanda,” you paused and she glanced up at you, “what is it?” She questioned you, making direct eye contact as you neared your street.

“I honestly thought he was gay,”

“Really,” The blonde inquired.

“Yeah he pinged,”

“What’s that mean?”

“Like he pinged my gaydar,”

The blonde laughed. “I love hearing all these terms, they make me laugh,” she commented as she swatted your arm. “If only a queer girl would think so,” You murmured under your breath. “What duuah mean? You're hot, I’m sure you can get someone,” The blonde offered as you saw your building in close range. “Well clearly no one else does if I’ve been single for nearly a year now,” You mumbled, getting your keys out.

“I see you there,” The blonde replied. “Can I bother you for a water bottle before I go home?”

“Sure,” You say as you open your door. You throw your keys and bag on the counter then grab a water bottle from the fridge and hand it to Amanda, who is leaning on your counter. “Thanks. You have a nice place, I don’t know how you have time to clean working 50 hours a week.”

“I don’t have a kid or a significant other to take care of.”

“When’s the last time you went out on a date?” The blonde asks, taking a sip. “Not, sure months, when was the Reilly case?” “That would be about 6 months ago. Jeeze, I hope you get laid at least,” You looked at the blonde, who had a glimmer in your eye. “Lesbians generally prefer relationships. I prefer to hook up with someone I know,”

“Well, ya know me,” The blonde said in a very matter-a-fact voice, her frame now nearly against yours. “I know that you’re straight-” “and flirty.” the blonde finished, her face got closer to yours before you captured her lips.

You moaned into the kiss, her tongue swiped your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You two deepened the kiss and you found your way moving the two of you to your sofa. The back of your knee's hit the furniture as you stumbled back. Amanda straddled you and grabbed the back of your head as your tongue continued to mingle. You brought your hands to her curvy hips as she grabbed at your toned biceps. She moaned into your mouth, enjoying the feeling of your tongue on hers. You could feel your hips moving up to meet hers. Energetically, you moved down to her neck and sucked hard, knowing it would leave a hickey. “Fuck, hon,” she rasped out. Amanda pulled her black t-shirt over her head leaving her breasts sealed in a black bra. You looked at the beauties in front of you and placed kisses on them as you brought the backs of your fingers to her abs, brushing them lightly. You then pushed her face up on the sofa and got on top of her, thankful you had a long couch. She moaned as you moved back to her neck then her soft lips. Though you were pinged together, you held her head close to yours with your left hand, savoring the feeling of someone close for the first time in forever.

#svu #amanda rollins #no one cares #no one asked for this #amanda rollins x reader

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httpjupiterbby · 8 months ago

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i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind (fictional women)

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itwasrealtome · 4 months ago

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THIN ICE

Here's an extract from THIN ICE. Enjoy !

And here’s the full version

If you’d like to be tagged in the upcoming posts, please let me know in comments, my dm, or fill in the FORM. It’s free and I don’t bite :)

A/N : Question is : What mistake did Y/n make?

This afternoon, the streets seemed even more crowded than usual. The vehicles flooded the roads, coming from every corner and blocking the main way out.

Behind a queue of about ten of them, a police car came to a sudden halt. The alarm was on, and the blue and red flashing lights blinded anyone who looked in that direction.

But no one moved.

Not even the sound of a horn persuaded the citizens of New York to get out of the path.

— Dude, can’t you just warn before doing that kind of thing?

The blonde gave a brief glance to her passenger. She expected to find her glued to the door, her fingers clenched around the top handle, but she didn’t.

Y/N was desperately trying to absorb the contents of her cup on her worktop. The wipers provided with her order, finally finding their use.

— Sorry about your shirt.

— Yeah, well you owe me a coffee.

— Sure you’re okay?

— Rollins, it’s just a shirt. I think I can get over it.

Amanda gave her a knowing glance. She expected this kind of answer from the young officer. Everyone knew what kind of person she was.

— Oh, don’t give me that kind of look.

— But you’re not telling me the truth, Y/N/N!

—Like you don’t keep anything to yourself, huh?

— I made some mistakes, most of them I don’t want you to repeat.

— I seriously doubt you did this one.

***

Taglist :

@electricboost @womenlovingwomen-imagines @hi-1-1 @emskisworld @enjoytheentireworld @arie109 @marvelandotheruniversesloveradhd @philocalistwrites @wittygutsy @observeowl @ravennewlyn @tina-2005 @makkaroni221 @ssaaggwwaa @supercorpstan97 @youdontknowwhotfiamm @mmmmokdok @hbkpop @micaluvssoccer @namelesscheshire @inquisitive-nix @l4yne @rain-mikaelson @idk-whats-wrong-with-me-blog @nciscmjunkie @moonlightjxuregui @thefatobsession @12fluffybunny12 @scarletwitcher97 @thesamesweetie @idonothingallday

#olivia benson x reader #amanda rollins x reader #law and order svu

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storiesofsvu · 7 months ago

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Home

Amanda Rolins x reader (brief mentions of Amanda x Nick) Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, it's hurt/comfort but mainly fluff, if that makes sense? LOL. This has been sitting in the drafts for a very long time and I think was a tipsy idea while watching old svu ideas that got jotted down and then added to bit by bit. I'm not sure if I'm totally happy with it, but I was determined to finish it and this is what we're left with. Basically Amanda deserves all the proper love and affection. The end.

You’d had a thing for Amanda for a while, it started out as a physical attraction that morphed into friendship, someone you enjoyed spending time with, someone you didn’t mind getting trapped in a car on stakeouts with. You shared interests, had similar coffee tastes, were both dog people, preferred take out to cooking and could spend hours watching trashy reality television. All it took was one night at a bar with a few too many beers and a few of your favourite songs on the dance floor to lead to a hot and heavy make out session that ended tangled in the sheets of Amanda’s bed.

When it happened a second time she felt a little bad, letting you know that while she was being safe, you weren’t the only person she was sleeping with. In return you let out a small laugh, telling her that it was clear as day her and Nick had something going on and you had no concern if she was hooking up with him too. With that conversation out of the way you were free to continue on with your random casual nights together. Some nights you’d end up with Amanda, others you’d go home alone and sometimes you’d find your own fun elsewhere, there were no hard feelings or sense of jealousy between either of you.

You slowly watched as Amanada started to slip under Amaro’s charm spell, ever the girl who wanted to be the fixer, the problem solver, do it on her own big sister. As his parenting relationship with Maria got worse her desire to be the one to help him through it grew, wanting to be there when he needed someone, no matter what the context was. Some nights he wanted to drink, to vent, talk things through with someone who could stay somewhat neutral and not argue with everything he said. Some nights he wanted to just forget and those were the ones he always went to Amanda for. The deeper he sank, the more entangled she became and he pulled her right down with him.

When it came to your relationship with Amanda, you truly never cared, even if she was leaving your living room because he called. The night he showed up at Amanda’s when you were there you were the first one to pour him a drink and toss him a smoke, reminding him how much relationships can suck. You continued to be Amanda’s friend, trying to support her through the entire ordeal while she was giving Nick her all and letting herself derail in the process.

“Thanks for meeting me.” She huffed, sliding into the bar stool beside you and you could tell she was pissed.

“Don’t worry about it. What’s up?” You asked, sliding her a shot that she threw back faster than you’d expected.

“Fucking Nick.” She grumbled, signalling the bartender for another round, “I get that he’s going through it but isn’t he supposed to be arguing with Maria?”

“’Manda…” you cautiously warned, “is he taking this shit out on you now?”

“He’s not doing it on purpose.” She defended, “he’s just so fucking irritable now. Everything’s an argument, he either wants to drink in silence or fuck.”

“I think it might be time for you to step back, let him cope on his own.”

“No, it’s fine. He needs someone to talk to and I know I can get through to him, I just need a little bit longer, really get under his skin.”

“Then maybe try to do it without pushing all his buttons?” You offered and she rolled her eyes, only half offended.

“It’s the easiest way to get him actually talking, I thought maybe a different emotion would come through this time.”

“Just be careful okay. I don’t want you getting too deeply wrapped up in all this and then end up being the one licking her own wounds afterwards.”

“I’m a tough kid,” she shot you a grin, “I can handle it.” Her phone buzzed on the bar top and she let out a sigh, throwing back another shot of whiskey before scooping up the device, “duty calls.”

You watched her pick up the phone as she disappeared out of the bar and let out your own sigh, wondering if you were going to be down a friend by the time all of this sorted itself out.

Two months later and you didn’t have much left to wonder about as Nick was gone, leaving the squad to relocate across the country in LA with his new family. You’d watched Amanda when he made the announcement to the team but she didn’t even flinch, a soft smile on her face knowing that he would be happier out West. His last few weeks it was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, the stress evaporating as he finally found where he truly belonged.

Amanda felt lighter too, that sense of having to consistently check in and make sure someone was okay floating away with the summer breeze. She was able to relax, get up early enough to spend her mornings running through the park with Frannie and finally catch up on all the reality tv she’d missed. And this time the evenings on your couch were free from any and all interruptions. She wasn’t sad, she knew that everything happened for a reason and that her situationship with Nick had an end date all along, but there was a part of her that missed her friend, her work partner and that was what you could feel floating off of her.

She hadn’t been mopey about it at all, but there was still a sense of melancholy in the air as the commercial break played. Your arm was strewn across the back of the couch, Amanda tucked into your side, letting out a little sigh as she relaxed deeper into the embrace. You instinctively pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head,

“You wanna talk?”

“No.” She mumbled back, “I’m fine, swear. Just been kinda moody recently, dunno why.”

“You’re allowed.” You replied, your arm squeezing her softly before your finger curled under her chin, tilting her face up to yours, “you want me to help you forget?”

“Yeah?” Her brow raised in your direction, a gleam in her eyes as her lips curved up into a grin, “what’ve you got in mind?”

“Well…” you leant down, pressing your lips to hers, your teeth nipping at her lower lip, smirking at the way her breath caught in her throat, “I was thinking for starters that I could fuck you so good you wouldn’t even remember he existed.”

Amanda laughed softly, catching your lips in another kiss, “I certainly like the sound of that.” It only took a moment before your tongue slipped into her mouth as you caged her into the couch, a hand already creeping under her shirt and the television (among other things) were long forgotten.

And just like that your sexual affair with Amanda was sparked right back up again, your relationship skyrocketing from barely seeing each other to spending practically every night tangled in each others bedsheets. Though there was something different this time, nothing was holding either of you back, there were no other outside players, you spent nearly all of your time together now. Partnered up at work meant your days were spent together, the pure carnal desire for sex meant nights were shared, and what was left was evenings to devour takeout on the couch while the tv played and coffee in the park with Frannie on weekend mornings. Amanda would often catch herself with a dopey smile on her cheeks while she watched just how comfortable you were in her home. How you treated it like your own, you never had to ask questions, you just new exactly where everything was. A warmth would bloom in her chest every time your hand found hers, glancing up to catch the soft smile on your cheeks before you’d make a kissy face in her direction.

Not only was she finally starting to feel whole again, she knew that the reason was you, that you were the one who had been making her whole all along. She wasn’t quite sure what real love felt like, but she was certain it had to feel something like this, you were always there for her, you supported her in whatever dreams she wanted to explore, you helped ground her when she needed to be brought back to earth. You made her inescapably happy and she was noticeably more relaxed and joyful whenever you were around. She couldn’t be totally sure without asking you, but she was pretty confident that you shared similar feelings by the way you’d let out a small laugh and you cheeks would tinge whenever she caught you staring at her.

Amanda wanted you, that was for certain, and she wanted a future with you, to face life together as a team, grow old with you and spend the rest of her life happier than she ever had expected. But she suddenly had a piece of baggage that was a very big deal breaker and that’s why her heart was pounding out of her chest when she finally summoned the courage to knock on your apartment door.

“Hey.” You greeted as you pulled the door open, “didn’t expect to see you tonight, it’s late.” You stepped back to let her into the apartment and Amanda felt frozen on her feet, completely unable to move as she let out a shuddering breath and you noticed the tears in her eyes. “Whoa, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

Amanda shrugged, flailing her hands as she did her best to keep her emotions inside, her lip quivering as it attempted to all spill out.

“C’mere.” Your voice was impeccably soft as you wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her into the apartment and over to the couch. “You wanna drink? I’ve got an open bottle of pinot.”

She shook her head and you dropped down onto the couch beside her, your hand finding hers, linking your fingers as your thumb stroked across her knuckles. She took a minute, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down and once she was sure she wasn’t about to burst into tears she finally looked up at you.

“I fucked up.” She admitted, a tear escaping to glide over her cheek. You were quick to reach out, wiping it away as you cupped her cheek, your thumb stroking soothingly. The tenderness made her heart swell even more and she let out a shaky sigh, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and instead of having the balls to say it I screw it all up like I screw everything up.”

“Amanda…” you started softly, a warmth beaming from your eyes toward her as you squeezed at her hands, “you didn’t have to say it, and I doubt you’ve screwed anything up, just talk to me.”

“I want to be with you, this is so much more than just sex to me and that alone is scary enough.”

“It doesn’t have to be, because it’s always been more than just sex, we were both too nervous to admit it.”

Amanda sniffled, wiping away another tear, “fuck.”

“What’s going on Amanda? I adore you; I want to be with you too, I see a future with you, a future of us, I even referred to you as my girlfriend earlier this week so I don’t see what the problem is. We practically live together already and—”

“I’m pregnant.”

She had to get it out before you listed another ten reasons that you were perfect for her, that you would be perfect together, she couldn’t bear to hear all of that only to have you walk away in the end. She risked a glance up, her teary eyes meeting yours as your head tilted slightly.

“Oh. Okay,” your voice somehow got even softer, “have you thought about what you want to do?” You asked, your thumb continuing to soothingly brush over her knuckles.

Amanda took a breath, ducking her gaze, “I can’t just get rid of it, no matter how hard I try to think about it, that’s just not me and once it’s born I don’t think I’d be able to give a baby away.”

“Have you been to the doctor yet? My sister’s OB was fantastic, we could set up an appointment next week.” It was Amanda’s turn to look up at you with a quizzical expression on her face, watching as you glanced around your apartment, lower lip tugged into your mouth, “your place is bigger, extra bedroom and all, I’ll talk to my landlord about getting out of my lease.”

“Wait, what?” She asked and you looked back towards her.

“A newborn’s a lot of work, I’d want to be around as much as possible and like I said we practically live together already, why bother renting two places?”

“I’m confused…” she admitted with a small laugh, “I thought you were going to break up with me, not suggest moving in together.”

“Why would I break up with you?”

“You said you didn’t want kids…” She shrugged and it was your turn to let out a little laugh.

“So did you.” You squeezed at her hand, “but surprises happen and this can be a little happy one for us. I wasn’t adamant on not having kids, they just weren’t a big priority for me.”

Amanda chewed on her lip, her hands fidgeting in her lap as she tried to make sense of everything flying through her head at the moment, “but why change your mind for me?”

“I didn’t change my mind per say, life just presented me with an opportunity and I’m choosing to take it, because I want to, and I want to be with you, because I’m in love with you.”

“Really?” Her eyes were wide when she looked up at you and you giggled, the warm smile remaining on your cheeks.

“Of course I do, you doof. C’mere,” you tugged on her hand, effectively pulling her into your lap and she let out a little surprised squeal as her knees settled on either side of your legs. One of your arms wrapped around her, the other cupping her cheek, “you’ve always been my best friend, and I’ve always loved you like that. I’ll admit I was a little scared of falling in love with you another way and losing what we had, but it looks like that was the perfect thing to let myself do because I love what we have now, what we will have in the future.”

“I love you too.” She finally uttered the words and felt a weight lifted off her chest, a small smile breaking onto her cheeks and you leant up, kissing her softly. Amanda melted into you, her hands looping around your shoulders as your lips moved with grace together. You barely pulled away from the kiss, her forehead resting on yours as you kissed the tip of her nose and she let out a happy hum. “You make me so fucking happy, happier than I ever thought I could be, and I never thought I was gonna find something like that.” This time the tears blurring her eyes were ones of joy and they matched the ones forming in your eyes.

“And now you’ve got even more than that,” you smiled, “because we’re having a baby.”

“We’re having a baby.” She replied in a whisper, a smile etched permanently across her feature and she laughed softly as you stole another kiss. “Are you still gonna love me when I look like a beached whale?”

“Of course, I’ll even rub your feet and hand feed you grapes.”

“Promise?” She asked with a grin and you laughed, kissing her once more.

“Cross my heart.”

The warmth Amanda felt blooming through her was like nothing she’d ever felt before and she knew that in that moment she was exactly who she was meant to be, and exactly where she was meant to be. She knew she was safe, cared for, she had someone who had her back and always would, someone who loved her and truly meant it when they said it. She felt at peace, and most importantly, at home.

Because being anywhere with you meant she was home. You were her home, and that was all she needed.

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#amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #home

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