#Alternian history

[soupygremlin]

alternians of tumblr! i have an announcement your gonna wanna hear :3

im making a history book of OUR STORIES!!!! Our lives, the way they actually went, not the way Homestuck told them. Of course, somethings about us had to be changed to make the audience more engaged and/or comfortable. We are aliens after all. But i want to give us the chance to tell our real stories. No changes, no beating around the bush. It will (hopefully) be in both English and Alternian, and will likely be a public (public to view, mine to edit) Google doc! Send your story into my ask box if you want in, reblog to spread the news, and tag your friends if you want!

[celestialtrolls-moved]

I still never solidified my Halloween headcanons for my fantrolls

I feel like Alternian Halloween has got some kind of relevance to the undead and ghosts of Alternia

But I don't know what? Is it a common day for mass hoards of zombies to encroach on living cities? Is the day especially long and the undead are more powerful? Are ghosts able to cross over back to the living realm? Are people more likely to become undead if their corpse is still around that night? Or did one dude exist in the past, Mr. Hallowse Evennynn who was just a necromancer that targeted people, especially during this time of year? I don't know.

I feel like for the living of Alternia there's like...

Parties are common, originally stemming from a 'safety in numbers' standpoint where people would barricade themselves from the undead on this particular day, but now it's just about the fun of having parties or still staying safe from people doing 'tricks',

Dressing up like the undead to 'fool them' so you don't get eaten, or as a mockery of the past or to trick people into thinking they're going to get eaten by zombies (this does sound like something that highblood wrigglers would be encouraged to do, potentially with high levels of actual violence, a trick or treat but the treat is that you survive...)

[spaceoperastuck]

The Brazen raid of '78

So you may be asking, who is crazy enough to run the security blockade over Alternia that is maintained by the Condesces Honor Guard Fleet? Two people. The first one was Marquise Spinneret Mindfang and her 8 fold fleet, whom used a slipstream gravity drop and stolen access codes to slip past the fleet and coming dangerously close to the pink moon of Alternia. Now why did the marquise do this? easy, a second descendant of hers had finally hatched. She and her fleet made a breakneck reckless run just so she could descend to the surface, blow up a couple dozen of the Condesces drones using a pair of Balius war striders, claim a smol blue grub, and return to orbit with minimal losses. The other person who would conduct such a bold raid? Lord Admiral of the Human Unions 28th fleet, Lord Admiral Ed Teach and his Gloriana-P class superbattleship Queen Anne's Revenge, which just so happened to initiating a hit-and-run raid against Alternian home system logistics hubs. this attack basically made the Honor Guard Fleet have to break off from the pursuit of the marquise Fast Cruiser, and by the time Teach had made his escape, the marquise and the 8 fold fleet was out of the system. This day saw the destruction of 14 of the honor guards frigates and 1 of their grand cruisers. while the ships would be replaced in short order, this would result in multiple captains being killed by Her Imperious Condescension, and a mark on the record of the Honor Guard Fleet.

[weaselmcdiesel]

ok so it's not a comic hope thats ok with you but instead it's karkat n nepeta but designed by someone whos madly in love with them both

some more au explanations + transcript beneath the cut

they're maybe around 30-40 yo? This was mostly just an exercise to give both of them adult designs. uh. i'm only calling it an au because I made bs some explanations behind their designs while i was drawing them. so uh, in this universe, sburb never happens + things that happened because of sburb don't happen either, but the alternian society is relatively unchanged. i dont actually know.. what.. karkat does.. like i cant figure out why he wouldnt be culled but it doesnt really matter i just wanted to draw him looking cool! (i am. open to hear about speculation if you have any). also i figured that Kanaya would go to the brooding caverns after her lusus dies, bc the wiki said her lusus would die regardless of the game taking place n whatever, and probaly do something with the matriorb there idk. thats all tho! ill prolly draw them more and maybe develop more lore as i do ^^;

--

Transcript!

i don’t know what their dynamic is in the canon of this au… but that won’t stop me from making them kiss :]

The Vigilant adult karkat on alternia

new highly developed shoosing skill

honestly has a calmer demeanor because he’s learned what’s worth exploding about… though he probably developped a crazy resting bitch face

pleased (arrow to karkat with a neutral face)

The sash doubles as a sling for when he visits Kanaya in the brooding caverns. He’s also very tranquil around grubs because they don’t cause unmanageable problems. He’ll get mad if someone else bothers one

(yes i’m obsessed with dilfkat that’s why i drew this)

The Predator adult nepeta on alternia

Taller than karkat <3

still a silly goober, but better at getting what she wants

she probably got her title from a history of single-handedly slaying fearsome lusii. she likely takes assassination type of jobs because of her stealth. one of the more easy-going trolls from the group

--

also! fun fact. i was having trouble designing kk's outfit so i looked in an old antiques catalog book from the internet archive to get inspiration from objects that had the same colors as those that i wanted to use in his design? not sure why i did that. just had a hunch that it would be fun. so this is the object i found that strangely enough inspired kk's fit

haha.. and i also found one for nepeta, though it was easier to design her fit and i didnt actually need a reference object

the book was "Antique Trader antiques & collectibles 2009 price guide"

[thewertsearch]

Tavros, who dreamed of flying, came from a line of winged trolls.

I have thought of the summoner often. I have 8een trou8led to know that as one so common 8looded, he could not possi8ly have hatched yet, nor will he wriggle from the caverns for many sweeps.

As has been implied before, troll lifespans are correlated with blood color. The 'higher' your blood, the longer you live.

Actually, it's possible that the causal link worked in the opposite direction, since longer-lived trolls would naturally accrue more power and influence than their compatriots. Maybe troll society used to be more egalitarian, but over time, more and more power became concentrated in the castes that exhibited more longevity, until we eventually arrived at the current status quo.

Hey - what does this mean for Karkat, actually? He's not on the hemospectrum, so it's difficult to guess how long he might live. Best-case scenario, his lifespan follows Zodiac ordering, which puts him somewhere between Nepeta and Kanaya.

He would rise through the ranks of the cavalreapers and assume command, having proven the most skilled and fearless of them. He would exhi8it a remarka8le pup8tion, the sort only recorded in myth, growing, or perhaps simply revealing, a striking pair of wings.

...which means that Tavros, too, could have flown under his own power, had he lived just a little longer.

He never knew just how damn close he was to achieving his dream. Would you call that a tragedy, or a kindness?

His army thus inspired would spearhead a major re8ellion. Surely one at least on the scale of the sectarian revolt crushed 8y the High8loods, who thereafter for8ade its mention, or any invoc8tion of the heretical sym69ls at all, even in private journals. Which is why I will stick to the fa8le of the summoner, and not risk another execution with even o8lique reference to the compelling tale of the sufferer.

Damn it, Hussie. You're telling me Karkat's ancestor was history's greatest revolutionary, and you're just going to leave me hanging? Go back, damn it!

I can certainly see how this might have come about. If Vantas was another mutant, he'd definitely have 'suffered' under the Alternian regime - and someone with Karkat's personality wouldn't have taken that lying down. I imagine the Sufferer adopted his descendant's leadership style, and essentially bothered people into fighting for social change.

Come to think of it, I could easily see Karkat himself being radicalized, if he'd stayed on Alternia for longer. Given his mutation, I doubt his dream of being a threshecutioner was realistically achievable, and it's likely that his adult self would eventually be forced into hiding, lest he be culled. He'd have to realize the Empire sucks eventually.

[relaxxattack]

you are so very homestuck knowledgeable. when you have the time and should inspiration strike, please tell all your headcanons about oliveblood trolls.

ooo what a great question! for this one i think first we'd need to break down current stereotypes about olivebloods. there's actually not much that we're given about them tbh

according to the homestuck wiki, which is based on info from both the comic and more dubiously canon things like friendsim and hiveswap, the olive caste's two singular traits seem to be "wild animal" and "romance liker". both of these, obviously, are traits pulled from our wonderful main girl nepeta, who was the singular representation of the olive caste for a long time; alongside her dancestors. which is quite cute, who doesn't love nepeta?

the thing is though that i am one of those nitpicky people who likes to say, "well, hey now, nepeta isn't actually representative of her caste at ALL." in fact, none of the beta trolls are. i honestly feel like it should be assumed that just like the beta kids, the beta trolls are weirdos, and not really the 'norm' in their society.

nepeta lives out in the wilderness very specifically away from society in a way that is remarked on as being unusual even for someone of her color; and she does not even understand what role her caste would have given her in normal society. and i mean... considering aradia tavros and sollux are LOWER than nepeta, it doesn't really make sense for them all to have nicer houses than her unless she's unusual in her situation.

^ nepeta is in fact NOT a good representation of olivebloods.

which means... no, i don't think all olive trolls are romance obsessed wilderness girls, actually, sorry, hiveswap friendsim, i have to shelve you from my alternia analysis for now.

luckily, there ARE other olivebloods in the series!

first of all, the other leijons. unfortunately, none of them are really "good" examples either. meulin is from an entirely different planet, and disciple is from an ancient history perhaps even less representative of "normal" life than nepeta is. all we really get from them is stuff we already knew from nepeta-- the wildness, the relationship interest. with an added fact that both meulins seem to be somewhat bookish.

and so who does that bring us to? the final canonical oliveblood.

that's right.

troll will smith.

troll will smith is canonically an oliveblood. not only that, but he's a famous actor, which means he is basically a "model" for society- for what it looks like once you "have it all made". i would imagine this goes even more for alternia, supposedly a very movie-geared society.

the two troll will smith features that canonically exist on alternia are Fresh Prince and Hitch. in both of these films, will smith plays a character that is self-made and clever, a regular guy who is just skilled. it should also be noted that while a "threshecutioner" is a job with a heavy blueblood populous, greenbloods can also be one, and it's common enough that a show about it wasn't cut by the alternian dictatorship.

so therefore, what traits can we pull that all of these olivebloods (and equius lol) display to us?

olive trolls are lower class, but they're capable of working up through their connections

likely due to this, olive trolls are often clever and self made. they're likely quick-witted and sharp

they're good at their jobs! most olive trolls that are seen in the comic are very good with their respective practices (be it drawing, writing, bookkeeping, or melee fighting)

it's possible that olive trolls have a good intuition, and are fairly in touch with their own instincts. this would explain why some of them seem to fare better in the wild or in fights, and also why they are stereotyped as having a natural inclination for relationships. i think this is also a good transition ground between the impressive physical psionics of the castes lower than olive, and the emotional/mental psionics of the highbloods above them.

so, there we go. these are my olive headcanons! they're not comfortably well off or anything, but they're not wild animals either-- they're hard workers and skilled at what they put their minds to. probably usually working a nine to five and doing their best in life hoping to move up with a good quadrant or promotion. at least, in my headcanon anyway- no need to take this as fact!

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

points at u. how do u play eridan so well!!! hes such a tricky bastard to write for 4 some reason

It's because he's got so many problems and playing him is basically Mental Illness Simulator :') Whipped up a small (that's a lie, it's large and extensive) guide under the cut

ERIDAN DOES NOT HAVE FUN

First most important thing about playing Eridan: THIS BOY DOES NOT DO JOKES. He does NOT DO BITS. He does NOT HAVE FUN. If you check out his logs, pretty much every time he talks to somebody, he has a very clear purpose in mind (usually flirting or grandstanding). One of the few times he does strike up a conversation without a clear goal in mind, it's absolutely disastrous:

CA: fef CA: hey CC: ? CA: glub CC: Glub glub! CC: 38) CA: yeah CA: hm CC: W)(at is it!!! CA: wwhat

He's sooooooo so so so bad at conversation. He doesn't tell jokes. He doesn't know how to lighten the mood. He has no chill. He has no sense of humor. When playing him, if you are making jokes, you are doing it wrong!

The reason for this is because, psychologically, you have to imagine that he is constantly teetering on the edge of a murderous freakout. If he is not, at all times, Being Useful (AKA murderous, sea dweller-y), then Something Bad Will Happen. His entire life is about duty, pressure, responsibility, and, accordingly, at ALL TIMES, he feels an extreme, anxious weight on his shoulders, which makes him incapable of indulging in "frivolous" behavior, like making smalltalk or doing things for fun. In fact, sarcasm and facetiousness are literally considered childish by Alternians, and Equius associates it with lower blood colors:

CT: D --> Humorous insincerity is for pedantic wigglers AG: Pshhhhhhhh, I know! I know you never make jokes. I was the one 8eing sarcastic, you stooge! AG: I was 8eing sarcastic a8out you 8eing sarcastic. Duh. CT: D --> That's because you're a little worse than me

That's why it's also kind of important to make him not really have hobbies. Eridan DOES have interests: he loves wizards and magic, and he's a hipster. HOWEVER, he only ever talks about magic in pursuit of some other goal, like finding a date or winning at a rivalry, AND he's constantly denying his own interest in these things, because they're frivolous, stupid, ridiculous, and deviations from what he "should" be like. He actively distances himself from things that make him happy. In fact, we only know he's a hipster because it's part of his design and Karkat mentions it once - Eridan himself has never talked about it. That's how far he's buried anything that actually brings him joy.

If your Eridan is smiling for ANY REASON, you are DOING IT WRONG!

While we're on the topic, things Eridan is NOT ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN:

History (he only ever talks about history in the vaguest possible terms; I think he is book smart and genuinely knows a lot ABOUT history, but his actual interest in it is middling. He's just expected to be really obsessed with history, especially military history, as a member of the aristocracy, and he reads it in the same way as one doomscrolls on twitter - it's a way for him to self-reinforce his own mental illness and soothe his cognitive dissonance)

Marine life/marine anything (he's TERRIFIED of the ocean, and has spent a few days underwater TOTAL. He knows nothing of the sea.)

Weaponry (he HAS a lot of guns, so he definitely knows how to use and maintain them, but there's a reason he outsources the building of all his doomsday devices. Also, he got a "god weapon" early on in his life, and has kind of just been... using that. He neither has a need to know much about weaponry, nor has ever displayed any particular interest or knowledge. He leaves fully loaded harpoons just lying around on the floor of his house. It's knowledge of necessity, not interest.)

Hunting/Violence/Murder (he's really good at it, he knows a lot about it, he will teach you on request, he will mention it constantly, but he doesn't actually derive any particular joy out of it, especially since we know his thought process after each kill is "that's going to make an orphaned troll very sad. they will be culled soon :/")

Fashion (he has more of an interest than the average Alternian, but it's still not a lot. He dresses up to emulate Dualscar, and his actual clothing choices beyond that are pretty disastrous. Canon Eridan has never shown an interest in fashion. Even if you do want to play him with an interest in fashion, which I think is fine, you have to remember that he deliberately distances himself from anything that brings him joy, so even if he likes fashion, he'll keep that a secret and insist he only does it for utility purposes.)

Pale Romance (just throwing this in there, it's the one quadrant he is *never* shown to pursue. He's tried Feferi and Nepeta in flushed, Sollux, Terezi, and Kanaya in ashen, and Rose and Vriska in pitch. if anything, he goes out of his way to AVOID pale romances, both because he just had a painful pale breakup, and because he freaks out at the implication that he's weak in any way, which pursuing a pale romance would all but be admitting)

The thing that makes playing Eridan so hard, I think, is that he's abjectly fucking miserable, BY CHOICE, and for most RPers, playing a character who's abjectly fucking miserable kind of goes against the appeal of RPing in the first place (that is, having fun). All of the things he says he's really into are things that he either has no interest in, or that actively make his life less enjoyable. All the things he spends all his time thinking about are things that make him feel anxious and hopeless. All the things he actually likes and would have fun with are the things he actively, deliberately, and loudly decries and suppresses.

So that's point 1: Eridan does NOT have fun.

ERIDAN IS AGGRO AS *FUCK*

The next most thing I see that trips people up is that they make Eridan too friendly, usually as an extension of accidentally giving him too much chill. There are two main factors here at play: the first is that he's desperately trying to be a violent, casteist, oppressive, dangerous sea dweller, and outright pushes that image, and the second is that he's really fucking anxious ALL THE TIME, and most peoples' sociability goes down when they feel the cold breath of the reaper on the backs of their necks 24/7.

When looking at the 4 responses to danger - fight, flight, freeze, and fawn - Eridan will overwhelmingly choose "fight," with "fawn" as his secondary option. This makes absolute sense in context: all his trauma comes from its inescapable nature - if he tries to run from his duties, everybody dies; if he freezes up and fails to complete them, everybody dies. Therefore, his only two options are to Fight, and to channel that violent response into completing his duties, and to Fawn, to capitulate to the things that are hurting him - much moreso the former than the latter. Unfortunately, that bleeds over into everything else. Great!

We can see this illustrated really well in his conversations with Kanaya: Eridan does not ask for favors or help, he makes demands:

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin ... CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to

ERIDAN: you should of told me about this ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it

The only time he ever really backs off is in confessions, where he's willing to be like "hey, I think we really got something here, don't you think so?", or when talking to Karkat (Karkat is really the only person that Eridan doesn't feel the need to put on airs around, and we can only speculate as to why. It's because they're destined moirails for each other.)

He will also do this for statements that he isn't 100% sure about. If he's going to say something, he is going to ASSERT IT as if it is IMMUTABLE FACT, even if he's immediately disproven. In which case he will admit fault, but then his NEXT wild assumption is the IMMUTABLE FACT.

CA: wwell fine you dont havve to behavve vvillainous if youre bent up on actin against the grain a your nobility or somesuch CA: i can play that role its not like i evver didnt get my gills dirty before TT: Nobility? What are you talking about? CA: wwell arent you TT: No. What gave you that idea? CA: the wway you CA: ok CA: i had a misconclusion about that so my fault CA: obvviously you got rich blood so maybe when you crash landed you wwerent recognized for it by wwhatevver vvehicle upholds the class structure in human society

I feel like he's the type who, if he's genuinely unsure about something, he just won't say it at all. Basically, Eridan is always operating at either 0% or 100%, with almost no in-between. NO CHILL. Given that he only strikes up conversations when he's trying to achieve something from it - whether that's actively getting someone to do something for him, or just trying to assert that magic is fake - he treats every conversation like it' i's a battle, where the prize is whatever it is he's attempting to do, and his conversation partner is an enemy that he has to beat into submission. (Karkat is the only exception. He actually just likes talking to Karkat, and will do more traditional "hey man you wanna talk about your feelings" kind of dialogue with him.)

If your Eridan has chill, you are doing it wrong!

ERIDAN STRUGGLES WITH EMPATHY

This really needs to be qualified: he does HAVE empathy. He DOES care about his friends. But his brain is really cooked, and he has an extremely difficult time actually working up the emotional energy to express or experience it.

He's kind of downright sociopathic, lol:

ERISOLSPRITE: iim of the miind2et that wwhen you havve a rock 2oliid piiece of a22 tiied twwo the dock, you dont bloody wwell tug the knot loo2e and 2hovve the fucker off wwiith the heel a your boot. ERISOLSPRITE: but then another part of me ju2t wwonder2 wwhat the FUCK ii ju2t 2aiid there? liike that wwa2 ju2t 2uch a wweiird 2ociiopathiic thought ii had, ii hone2tly had no iidea howw bad ii could po22iibly feel about my2elf untiil ii BECAME my2elf, iif THAT make2 2en2e.

Like, okay, how do I explain this. His body count is 2000+. He has an EXTREMELY difficult time caring about life or death. He's had to watch kids cry over their dead parents. He has had to kill kids trying to protect their parents, whom he has then had to kill. And he has done this over, and over, and over again, as long as he can remember, to the point where he calls it "all i evver done practically."

Just for the sake of preserving what's left of his sanity, he's had to learn how to not care about that. If he sees someone crying in front of him, it's unlikely to even emotionally register to him as anything beyond "factually, this person is sad." Shit happens, people die. Violence, tragedy, murder, injury, and death are literally daily occurrences to him. For you, the day I killed your lusus was the most important day of your now tragically short life. For me, it was Tuesday.

Vriska is in the same boat, BTW. I think a combination of just being a less sensitive person to start with, the existence of a support network (Equius and Kanaya and Terezi as friends + she was friends with Team Charge before the... incident), and the lack of all the Duty(tm) and Responsibility(tm), helped her cope a bit better, and be better about opening up to people and relying on them for emotional support.

What this means, in terms of playing/writing him, is that his priorities are extremely skewed, and he is genuinely not going to understand things like "maybe I shouldn't tell this land dweller I'm trying to kill all land dwellers," or "maybe this person is sad and I should comfort them," or "maybe my constant talk about murder and death is offputting to other people." Here he is, literally not understanding why insulting and belittling Kanaya has led to her not wanting to help him, as well as not understanding why Vriska might've blocked him:

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs GA: If Your Slander Werent So Predictable Id Block You Too For Saying That GA: Has It Occurred To You She May Have Blocked You Because You Are Vvery Ovverbearing GA: I Just Said That Aloud Now In Your Silly Accent And Had A Private Moment Of Enjoyment CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her

His brain is constantly running at a fevered 100% full-tilt run; he doesn't have the space, leisure, or energy to spend considering things from the perspective of other people. It leads to weird paradoxes, where he IS considerate of other peoples' feelings, but doesn't actually consider their feelings. After spending almost the ENTIRE conversation with Kanaya belittling her and demanding she be his and Vriska's auspice, he abruptly switches gears:

CA: fine i get it ill step off CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

Because he LIKES Kanaya, he REALLY CARES ABOUT Kanaya, he WANTS GOOD THINGS for Kanaya... and yet is entirely, wholly, not taking her feelings into account at all.

BUT! This also applies in reverse! You can make all the death threats and casteist insults and demands towards Eridan as you want, and he won't give a shit aside from his usual grandstanding protests. The only time we ever truly see him offended is when he's genuinely trying to do Jade a favor by giving her the code to his gun, and she calls it a piece of shit and tosses it out with the trash - and even then, he doesn't take THAT much offense. Judge for yourself:

GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it! CA: god damn it CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me GG: maybe you should have been nicer to me! GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do! CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species

After all, he's accustomed to much, much, much worse. His emotional response here is indignation, not even really HURT. Karkat also makes a bunch of genuine death threats towards Eridan, which get entirely written off as "wwitty repartee." He's just really bad at processing hostility! Hostility is very normal to him!

So basically, before letting Eridan engage in any act of empathy or compassion, you have to ask whether or not he's going to recognize that the situation would call for that in the first place, which he is REALLY BAD at identifying. He only asks Karkat if Karkat wants to talk about his feelings after Karkat explicitly says that he's freaking out in every possible way, and without that explicit indication, I don't think Eridan would've even noticed.

If your Eridan has social skills, you are Doing It Wrong!

This also means that, even if Eridan has realized that he needs to act compassionate, he's still going to be really fucking trash at actually providing emotional support. He can't even emotionally support himself, you think he can figure it out for other people?

The most he can do is call it like he sees it - "this is a stupid thing to get worked up over," for example. Or he can jump straight to solutions, like "so what, are you gonna kill that guy?" Being as charitable as humanly possible, he might be able to fire off a "that's rough, buddy" at ABSOLUTE maximum.

ERIDAN KIND OF JUST SEES SLURS AS FACTUAL DESCRIPTORS (AND OTHER GENERAL NOTES FOR HIS SYNTAX AND VOCAB)

And, let's face it, on Alternia, they kind of are. Kanaya doesn't even bother to call him out for calling Karkat an assblood, Terezi and Feferi and Sollux don't bother taking offense to calling Sollux a mustard blood, and Karkat calls himself a gutter blood at one point. Like, even if you're playing/writing an Eridan who's rejected Alternian society, he'll still probably be out here calling people slurs? Things that would be considered hostile from other characters are very much just neutral coming from Eridan. There is no emotional difference to him, calling someone a rustblood or a burgundy, but he's expected to say rustblood because of his sea dweller status, so that's what he goes with.

Also, make some grounded but wild assertions about people and things. This boy loves to Assume. Writing Eridan is a lot of going "ERIDAN DON'T SAY THAT!!!" it's great. Really painful. Highly unrecommended.

He's obviously quite book smart and uses a lot of big vocabulary words. You guys need to have Eridan go on these insane purple-prose rants more often. They're so fun to write and so cringe to post.

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once

CA: but the thing is i need a rivval wwho can pose me a challenge CA: and frankly shes not evven fit for holdin my cape anymore CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

For no reason at all. I'm going to post a little Karkat for comparison.

PCG: THE FUNNY THING IS IN THE FUTURE EVERYONE WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS THE UNDISPUTED LEADER, EVEN YOU. PCG: YOU WILL BE STANDING ON THE TIPPYTOES OF YOUR IDIOTIC METAL SHOES, TAKING DELICATE PURCHASE OF MY NUBBY HORNS AND HOISTING YOURSELF OVER MY HEAD TO PUT YOUR SWEATIEST TOUGH GUY SMOOCH UPON MY TWITCHING SPINE LUMP. PCG: IT WILL BE TENDER AND DEFERENTIAL, LIKE A PAUPER KISSING A NOBLE'S RING. PCG: JUST SCROLL DOWN, READ THE LOGS.

Also, notes about his typing quirk:

First, the ww and vv stuff is actively a fake accent he puts on for the #Aesthetic, and his natural way of speaking doesn't include those at all, so it's entirely likely that if you're writing him after he's rejected Alternian society, or if he's trying to be really really emotionally sincere, he wouldn't be bothering with that part of the quirk specifically.

He doesn't ALWAYS drop the G at the end of words ending in -ing. It's frequent and common, but don't feel bad about letting a word end in a g, especially if it would sound or look better (for example, "being a kid and growwing up" doesn't bother to drop the g's at all).

Similarly, he doesn't ALWAYS change "of" to "a," especially preceding a vowel sound. You gotta be careful with when you change this up, because he pretty much only does it when it would make sense spoken aloud.

In phrases like "must have" or "could have," he will often (but not always) change "have" to "of" (so "must of" or "could of").

Dropping the D from the word "and" happens only one time in the entire comic, so it's probably a typo, and if it isn't, it's REALLY REALLY infrequent.

He will sometimes use shorthanded words, like "em" instead of "them" or "ya" instead of "you." I'd say it's occassional, a bit rarer than the G-dropping. He does tend to use "got to" instead of "gotta," however. Again, try saying his lines out loud, to figure out when best to use what.

Given his loquaciousness and clear command of the language, it's likely that this is for Style, but he also doesn't always bother with proper grammar. Places where "[person] and I" would be used are often switched out for "[person] and me," and he might forgo a contraction like "I've" or "we've" and just post the pronoun (for example, "you got to" instead of "you've got to."

He references ocean shit, and ocean anatomy, like his own fins and gills, pretty often! He just doesn't do the puns. Try using "flippin" instead of "fuckin" every now and then, or "glubbin" instead of "talkin," or nautical analogies.

Also throw in some British "bloody"s every so often.

Cusses like a sailor, though, has one of the highest "fuck" counts relative to wordcount out of all the characters (cough like Karkat cough).

HE DOES NOT USE PUNCTUATION. EVER. (Ok, he does use a period once while talking to Terezi in Alterniabound, but I think that that's a mistake because it's literally the only time). This is actually in STARK contrast to other characters that don't generally use punctuation, like Aradia or Nepeta, who will still use ellipses, exclamation points, and question marks. Eridan actively, consciously forgoes using ANY punctuation, EVER, even for questions (which you shouldn't be asking too many of, because Eridan makes DEMANDS).

ERIDAN DOES NOT ANGST

This is another thing that I see a lot. Yes, Eridan thinks that he's worse than everybody. Yes, he deliberately keeps fun things at bay and focuses on things that make him miserable. Yes, he's sad, anxious, emotionally neglected, etc. etc. But I often see this self-loathing played for dramatics - Eridan being withdrawn, quiet, moody, and sad. Or being consumed with guilt and regret, and wishing he didn't have to be a murderer or wasn't forced into the position he was. And that's just not the vibe.

Because Eridan has a lot of pride. He refuses to appear weak, and he has genuinely lost the emotional capacity to feel too guilty about all the killing. Moreover, here's something I often see get overlooked:

He would think of the murders he committed, and the fact that he's so good at murdering, as good things.

It's not only useful, but oftentimes NECESSARY, for somebody on the team to be willing to make those kinds of sacrifices, to be willing to pull the trigger. Very literally, murder kept him and his friends alive long enough to play the game.

There's no universe in which Eridan would denounce killing and violence, because to do so would be to say that he shouldn't have kept his friends alive. Even in a hypothetical golden ending, where everybody survives to the end, Eridan would be the guy on the team who posits murder as a potential solution to problems, reminds people that society is built on sacrifices and suffering, and offers to do the dirty work himself if nobody else has the stomach for it. As much as being the orphaner was DISASTROUS for his mental and emotional well-being, he wouldn't regret the things he did.

And this is reflected in the comic - the rare times he does break down and show that he kind of hates himself, the focus is never on guilt or regret, it's on his perceived shortcomings - calling himself an idiot or pathetic. Because that's what his real insecurity is - he doesn't hate himself because he sees himself as this awful piece of shit, the way Sollux does, he hates himself because he thinks of himself as not good enough, because if he's Not Good Enough, then Something Bad Will Happen.

Remember, his danger response is FIGHT. It's a different paradigm than what most of us are used to, which is why I see his inner turmoil so often represented by him being moody and broody, which he's never really done in the comic. Eridan doesn't get sad, even though he is sad; he gets mad, aggressive, combative. He doesn't wallow; he just keeps swimming.

CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance

Again, his response to being insulted is indignation, not hurt. He doesn't sit in his room feeling sorry for himself, he obsesses over genocide and murdering all the land dwellers. His response to seeing the love of his life turn on him with killing intent is to flip out and start killing right back. After being broken up with, his response is to go and pester his friends (and yell at Gamzee a bit) until he can get some emotional support. He doesn't angst, he tries to solve the problem, and, if he can't solve the problem, he starts shooting.

He's awfully violent! If your Eridan is not awfully violent, you're probably doing it wrong!

BUT, ERIDAN LOVES HIS FRIENDS

At his core, however, as tangled up in all of the above as he may be, Eridan loves:

His friends

Wizards

Magic

Probably hipster shit

Happy endings

He is still, after all, a HOPE player. He struggles as hard as he does because he can't give up on the idea that things will get better, eventually. Even if he's struggling in the wrong direction, toward the wrong ideals, and even if emotionally, he's feeling more and more hopeless and closed in, he can't stop himself from trying, and trying, and trying again.

He loves magic. As much as he tries to push it away and calls it stupid and fake and lame at every turn, he still brought his shitty wands onto the meteor. Why does he love magic? It's an extension of his inability to give up. No matter how hopeless the situation, no matter how awful he feels, no matter how unrealistic salvation might seem, if only magic is real, then there's a solution. He wants to be a wizard so badly because wizards can do magic, and magic can overturn reality, and reality is this awful, inescapable nightmare. He is constantly being caught between nihilism and pessimism and hope and belief. In the comic, the nihilism won, but that's the great conflict at the core of his being.

So ummmmm yeah, I hope any of that helps with writing the fish boy at all. Basically, if you aren't constantly cringing while writing the bullshit that comes out of his mouth, you're probably doing it wrong...

[hs-transfusion]

> ARADIA MEGIDO

HEMO: Fuchsia (#99004D) TROLLTAG: ariolatesAftermath [AA] SIGN: Piari, Sign of the Vengeful STRIFE: 2x2dentkind MODUS: Sacrifice LUNAR SWAY: Prospit MYTH. ROLE: Sylph of Doom LAND: Land of Glaciers and Ruins

AA: there is n()thing the v()ices have been inc()rrect ab()ut as ()f yet

Once upon a time, Aradia was a worthy candidate for the ALTERNIAN THRONE. That was before she was SACRIFICED to her lusus B'AHBLAHK as part of a VICIOUS REVENGE CYCLE. She now roams Alternia as a GHOST, diligently working to SET THE EVENTS OF SGRUB IN PLACE, along with a few detours to PETTY ACTS OF REVENGE.

At present, Aradia has NO INTERESTS beyond being a COSMIC PLOT POINT. Before her ill-timed demise, she had a strong passion for HISTORY, working hard to maintain her PERSONAL MUSEUM of STRANGE ALIEN RELICS. She also had a fascination with THE WORLD OF THE ETHEREAL, knowledge that has served her well in her LITERAL AFTERLIFE.

Aradia's SACRIFICE Fetch Modus requires her to sacrifice a NEARBY ITEM to retrieve something from her sylladex. Thankfully, her WORN-DOWN PALACE is filled to the brim with RANDOM CHUNKS OF RUBBLE she can use as cannon fodder.

Aradia's lusus is dubbed B'AHBLAHK, BRAYER OF THE BLEAK. A massive, curled mass of TENDRILS AND HORNS, this eldritch sea-goat threatens to extinguish ALL EXISTING TROLL LIFE should its voice be raised too loud. It is said that anyone naive enough to MAKE A DEAL WITH IT will get whatever they wish for, but at a much steeper price than expected.

The Land of GLACIERS AND RUINS is an arctic area, covered in DECAYING RUINS OF AN ANCIENT CIVILISATION of consorts. Though they may have lived to see The Sylph through her personal quest, it seems denizen THANATOS didn't see fit to maintain a world for a player that has ALREADY MET THEIR END. Or perhaps that's just a defeatist attitude on his part...?

Aradia's ancestor is known as HER IMMORTAL OPULENCE, otherwise known as THE IMMORTAL. Though most fuchsiabloods live for FREAKISHLY LONG TIMES, HI() has lived longer than any other empress by a landslide. In fact, unbeknownst to many, she has walked the soils of Alternia on its VERY FIRST DAYS, witnessing each and every significant event in ALTERNIAN HISTORY personally. Alternia's bloodthirsty environment was influenced by her for nothing more than SHEER ENTERTAINMENT VALUE.

[hsoppositezodiac]

Chahut Maenad

One of the only limeblood survivors. Despite her large size, she had somehow managed to lay low until she was rescued by the little goldblood Amisia. She is extremely devoted to the mutantblood who marked Alternian history. She enjoys crocheting.

Marvus Xoloto

A very popular man who disguises as an oliveblood. He has an online blog where he publishes his songs, however, he never dares to show his face. When outside, he wears sunglasses and clothes in an olive shade of green. The first and only troll to find out about his secret was an tealblood, who are known to be faithful to law. The man, however, was different, and was secretly in support of limes. His secret is being kept.

Karako Pierot

a little child being raised in secret by one of the fuchsiabloods. He lives in the aforementioned fuchsia's large hive outside sea, and is too innocent and young to know that his mere existence could get him culled, if he ever gets discovered.

Barzum & Baizli Soleil

They are young twins who reside in a creepy, abandoned hive where no one dares to check. And if someone does, they scare the invasor away using fake clown sounds and large sillhouettes. They are, in fact, pretty nerdy, and enjoy reading and studying a bunch. They anonnymously ramble about their interests online, and use the gray color to hide their blood.

[soupygremlin]

:3

[conceptofjoy]

doc scratch voice and that concludes the history of alternia all condensed into a 30 minute presentation. isnt that fucked up? i might be suspicious but im not as bad as those guys. look at me im wearing a fuckin suit and bowtie. even if im tossing a few kids around its nothing compared to the horrors of the alternian empire. did you remember they use slaves as batteries? isnt mindfang fucked up? at least im not mind controlling people. i look like a fuckin tumblr sexyman, kinda off putting but still endearing. hold on my future war crime committing charge is trying to kill herself again. you know how it is with trolls.

[understandableparadox]

The grand homestuck oc tournament poll: Round 5!!!!

The second to last week of hooting, hollering and begging for votes! no need to be shy now, time to double up on shoveing these special lil guys right under everyones noses!!!

zalium azoran

64.media.tumblr.com

Zalium is a rogue fuchsiablood who was raised by an axolotl lusus away from the prying eyes of the alternian empire. eventually he was able to find community in the lower bloodcastes of alternia and here he learned about alternian history from a true perspective.

he gathered an aliance, heavily inspired by the sufferer's rebellion, and rises up against the empire. being a highblood he held a greater chance against the empress and gl'bgolyb, and after a strenuous battle he manages to take down the horrorterror and the empress in turn

i don't even care if he's bad i love him so dearly

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Viiveh Telore (Now with new and improved art!)

64.media.tumblr.com

Viiveh is a fuchsia blood in an abusive relationship trying to forge his own destiny. He tries to stay positive and is unlearning some classist traits. He goes to the surface and hides his blood color by dressing like a robot. He really loves tech and the mechanics of it, since the seadwellers can mainly only use bug-based tech underwater. He takes the name Vexxin during his hiding. Don't get him started on troll Daft Punk.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

[dingodad]

ive been hating so i will say one thing i really got a kick out of from friendsim was the reference to jadebloods not being allowed to fuck. this was daraya's date i think? i don't remember i'm never going to play those games again. but the idea that jadebloods are forbidden from reproducing is such a great example of the kind of emergent worldbuilding, obvious once you think about it, that homestuck employs to such good effect. not only does it a) hint at the well-known Alternian policy of eugenics and reproductive control, possibly indicating that the empire is in the active process of (trying to) breed dangerous rainbow drinkers out of the gene pool and b) obviously echo the association between the jadebloods and the virgin mary, but it also c) has clear parallels with the real-life history of nunneries - where women were often sent in the hopes of preventing promiscuity, a practice which frequently led to lesbian sexual encounters instead! - and d) implies that, if jadebloods keep being born in spite of their ancestors being prevented from fucking, they may be some kind of necessary component of the system, like drones, which the mother grub can produce asexually. like it truly writes itself. that's exactly how you should extrapolate from what's already in the text

[thewertsearch]

Resolution to the summoner's mutiny is foggy, as I only understand what has 8een rel8ed to me through the 8rief answers I thought to solicit. Ultim8ely, the ire of the Condesce would 8e such that in the settling dust of the conflict, she would 8anish all from the homeworld, except the young. […] I cannot imagine how she would come to enforce such an upheaval in our civiliz8tion. Though I suppose she will have on her side the advantage of an unparalleled lifespan, and the leverage extended 8y the hideous psychic prongs of her deep undul8ing monstrosity.

Attention is drawn to the prodigiously long lifespan of the Condesce - the empress of Mindfang's time, and Feferi's probable ancestor. I used to think that the modern Empress was a different troll, but now that we're aware of fuchsiablood longevity, I'm pretty sure the two are one and the same.

Based on a line from Feferi's introduction, I was assuming that she was the only fuchsiablood in the universe - but let's take another look at the way that line's phrased.

You are 'the only of your kind' known to possess this blood.

That doesn't necessarily mean she's the only fuchsia troll, does it? For example, it might just mean she's the only Alternian with fuchsia blood, because the Empress doesn't actually live on the planet.

I really want this to be Mama Peixes, because the existence of a living Ancestor has so much story potential. Just how much does she know, and what's her agenda?

Nevertheless, I take the prediction as truth, and find it amusing that a homeworld domin8ed 8y children will 8e the gr8 summoner's legacy. One of them, at least.

Anyway, the Summoner - the boy who could fly - is the reason Alternia is a planetary Neverland, making it clear that he was the original inspiration for Pupa Pan.

It's also notable that we've only just started delving into Alternian history, and we've already learned about two massive rebellions against the social order. Contrary to what Alternians have been led to believe, this oppressive culture clearly isn't natural to them, and they've been fighting it every step of the way.

They don't want to be a murderous empire - they're forced to be, again and again and again.

More importantly, and less amusingly, his legacy will 8e my demise. You see, I first learned his name when I asked who would 8e the one to kill me.

And here's yet another layer to the Quest Cocoon Incident. Vriska wasn't content with living like Mindfang - she wanted to die like her, too.

Given that Vriska knew about the Summoner, one can only imagine how weird she must have been around Tavros. Not only was she constantly berating him, she was also putting him on this bizarre pedestal, comparing him to someone I'm damn sure he never knew existed.

And she'd never tell Tavros about the Summoner, either, because that would allow him to derive confidence from something other than her tutelage. No - she just silently compared him to a legendary hero, and he constantly failed a test he didn't know he was taking.

Seems like something's going very wrong in the Veil.

This seems like a sign that the session is on its last legs, and we're running out of time before it completely turns to static. We're entering the endgame.

The oracle I will resolve to part with. I will conceal it in a crypt 8earing the sign of the expatr8, with a map to its loc8tion hidden in this journal.

The cueball was sequestered in an Expatriate chest, which makes me speculate about whether Equius ever got his hands on it.

He can't see inside it himself - but like Mindfang said, it shouldn't be too hard to find a technological workaround, and Equius is a roboticist. I wonder if either Zahhak ever used it for themselves?

To whomever finds it, 8e wary, for the truth it tells may leave its new keeper 8lind as I was. Though no more.

She warned you, Vriska.

She told you it would leave you as blind as she was.

And it did.

[coralcalypso]

[S] Story's Over Explained

Also known as Beach 2. You can read Beach 1 here.

So me and @yifftwiceplz have been planning this out for a while but a lot of the stuff that happened to cause this situation never really showed up on dash, so I put together this handy explained guide.

So after the events of Beach 1, the ghost that they busted wasn't so busted after all. Ultimate Dirk @realswolestrider, seeing the opportunity to use this ghost to get to Slim Dirk @therealslimstrider, decided to further his own ends to try to kick start his project on a version of Alternia.

What better thing to be an anchor point for a ghost than a tree planted from the seeds from the place of your banishment? Dirk's possession was less something sudden and more of a slow creeping influence over time that he himself wasn't aware of.

However, there were a few wrinkles in Ultimate Dirk's plan. It turns out a vengeful ghost is not the best at following plans and a time player who really wants a smoke break doesn't want the course of Alternian history altered. The Handmaid and him were metaphorically exchanging blows with her undoing the attempted changes made when she could, or other narrative powers intervening when things have gone beyond the scope of Alternia.

Caught in between were Slim and Sefoni, both of which were unaware of the constant tug of war on their lives until now! :D

A lot of what happened hinges on a lot of stuff building up for a while/established a while ago but took a bit for us to actually finish. Be sure to listen to the tracks in each section, we had a lot of songs in mind while making it and wanted to properly represent the "air" of each moment.

Who is that ghost? Palixa!

NPC Profile.

Death.

Additional notes and fun tidbits under the cut. Feel free to ask any questions!

initially her hair was going to be out of her face, but i felt like the covered eyes/all images of her not having her eyes showing was important.

we in the business call this dramatic irony

A lot of my own personal thoughts about the plot were inspired by Utena a bit, if the poster wasn't obvious :p

I think the idea of cycles and escaping things is one that I always found interesting, and with finally putting to rest a multiyear long NPC and the arc of her involvement with her and that planet.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I do agree with your assessment that Eridan is one of the more repressed trolls of the Alternian friend group but I do not believe so full-heartedly that he never found time to enjoy himself for a scant few seconds at minimum. So I ask you what does a week look like for Eridan Ampora on Alternia, and how much of it is composed of desperate posturing towards others?

It's less that he's never enjoyed himself and more that his perceived experience is that of never enjoying himself. He self-describes murder as "all i evver done practically," and while that's obviously not LITERALLY true, it's how he FEELS the truth to be - that his entire life has been dominated by this endless cycle of murder, preparing for murder, cleaning up after murder, thinking about murder, obsessing about murder, and feeling like he should be doing something about murder.

It's anxiety - Eridan is one of those people who has no idea what to do with himself if he doesn't have some sort of Task hanging over his head (we see it with his utter inability to make smalltalk with Feferi, and his general reluctance to shoot the shit without some sort of goal in mind for the conversation). Under these circumstances, any fun or enjoyment he DOES have feels stolen - like he shouldn't be having it. If you can lean, you can clean. If you have time to be watching a movie or shopping for clothes or playing pretend with your shitty wands, you have time to be MAKING SURE YOUR WHOLE SPECIES DOESN'T DIE IN AGONY.

It's not that he literally never has fun, it's that any fun he does have feels undeserved, unearned, and shameful. Distractions from his responsibilities. Failures to live up to expectations. That's why the few leisure activities we actually get to hear about or see him do are usually couched in being part of his duties - FLARPing with Vriska feeds their lusii, and his attempts to hang out with her are transparently hidden in trying to get her to build him doomsday devices. He dresses to emulate Dualscar first and foremost, and even though he prefers drama and romance, he only lets himself read them in the context of military history.

It makes his love of wizards more striking because he can't come up with a good excuse for it - he just ardently fucking loves magic and pretending to be a wizard. But even then, he clearly feels shame for liking magic, because he's constantly decrying it for being fake kiddie playtime shit for wigglers. See what I mean? It's not that he doesn't have fun, it's that he doesn't feel like he's ALLOWED to have fun. Even when he is doing things that are objectively fun, there's a part of his brain chastising him for wasting his time. He's always filled with a nonspecific fear that if he isn't doing something "useful," then Something Bad Will Happen. So to that end, as much as he's been able, he's tried to make his hobbies all somehow related to fulfilling his various overhanging Duties and Responsibilities, to the point where his own lived experience is one where he is perpetually on call. Das mental illness babey!!!!!

The one exception to this seems to be his long conversations with Karkat, where we actually see Eridan chill way the fuck out, crack jokes, and talk about his and Karkat's feelings. It helps that Karkat's, like, the only person on the team who takes Eridan's problems seriously.