#Also to clarify it's not as if I'm holding out for a canon kiss even in spin off media one day. I just needed to get across that I have such
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*grips my thighs so hard it draws blood* What I would give for Sonic and Tails to please please hug about it. One of these days I need them to hold each other close and dear, hugging each other with their entire bodies both in a way that betrays their deep love/care for each other and one or both of their fears that the other will disappear
Post Forces, post Sonic Prime, Post Metal Virus, post the issue 75 incident
I need them to hug so bad. So so bad. I need it so badly that the other day I confessed I don't care if the two never kiss as long as they can just have one really good hug. Please
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ceristhedivine · 1 year ago
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Confession, as a DC Comics Fan:
I don't like the shippings Damian Wayne had over the years. Not anymore, at least.
For awhile, I've been seeing a TON of Damian Wayne stuff related to ships on the internet. From big ones like Damirae or Damijon to smaller ships like Damian x Cassie or Damian x Djinn or Damian X Emiko. Then there was Damian and Flatline (or Nika) that became recently canon in the comic run, Lazarus Tournament (check it out, I think its cool). These ships had a fair share of fans and I've been one of them.
Until... I eventually grew out of it. Why?
Cause as I grew older, I'm getting a change of taste and a refreshed perspective of things, you know? So, with how much research I gather from Damian's character and these ships, opinions change. Some I lost likeness than I usually did. Some I got bored with overtime. Some, I just didn't care for as much. Lemme clarify, I still think some ships are likable than others, especially their dynamics with Damian as a character. But when I look between the characters he interacts with and their histories... It kinda makes me wonder... Does it really work? Are they worth it?
First, lemme start with the demon birds: Damirae. Damian x Raven. This was the first Damian Wayne shipping I discovered as a fan of the DC Animated Movie Universe. I watched JLVSTT (terrible title) to TT:JC to Apokolips War and ultimately... I was hooked. These characters could relate and they had such heartfelt and bittersweet tragic terms with the storyline. I cried when they shared their first AND final kiss (don't judge, I'm sensitive, 😭). This ship was my first and I fell in love with it! Plus, these characters have always been and will always BE my favorite in any DC storyline.
As I got older and learned more about them in other continuities, I grew a change of philosophy... I DON'T THINK IT WORKS. Hold on! Before Damirae fans explode! Hear me out. I see the appeal. They're similar in experience and personality, the idea of Damian, being the Grandson of the Demon's Head, dating a literal demon sounds cool (even if Rae wasn't originally a demon-). There's a lot in terms of age and direction with storylines I can see being a problem. Though, from how I see things and I say this from personal experience; similarities will not always be great in relationships. Their personalities just don't bounce each other off well for me. Additionally, I feel like some fanfics between this ship just don't do their characters justice. In a short question I've had with another user, I can say, I agree that some fans interpret this romance like a demon x angel dynamic. Like, Damian being into taking over the world while Raven is easily swayed on joining such pursuit. While the idea is... interesting, it does bug me a bit. It doesn't suit well with their characterization in my eyes. Plus, I feel like in other continuities, Raven, in character, would either,
1. Not like his personality.
2. Act as some sort of sympathetic sibling/mentor to him.
Honestly, number two sounds more fun and has potential in my eyes. 💜
Second, the one and only super sons; Damijon. Damian X Jon. These two are my ✨ world ✨. I've followed up with their comic storyline through YouTube (I have yet to snatch the comics-) and WOW they are just so, SO entertaining to watch! Jonathan Kent was super adorable (get it?)! Damian was a little troll but I love it! The movie was also spot on — the animation, the writing, the characters, the moments were just dynamite pure! I will love these two with a passion till the day I die! However, as much as I love these boys in all my heart and soul, I DO NOT ship them. It's cute but I just don't see them being anything more than friends, to be honest. 🦸
Third, the recent grave birds: Damiline. Damian X Flatline. OMG, I liked Flatline! I thought she was so cool! Not to mention, her power to absorb the abilities of warriors she's killed has so much potential. Sure, there were times when I thought moments of her were unnecessary or annoying, but she definitely caught my eye because she was just that fun! Her relationship with Damian was... interesting enough. I do feel like the romance was there because they were in a literal death tournament... if you know what I mean. It felt rushed. Plus, she kinda betrayed him later on. I'm surprised we didn't get a reaction from Damian to this too. Eventually, I looked into Flatline's solo issue in New Evolution. I feel like this issue in particular is where Flatline considers Damian as an afterthought. It was also this line that stood out the most for me — "We'll see how long that lasts". This could mean their relationship may one day end short. And I believe Flatline is just as aware of this too. BUT. I don't think this is a bad thing. It could allow opportunities for her to develop without always being in a romantic role. I like the character, I just don't see this working for too long. It feels like the writers were trying to throw a goth x goth romance for the sake of the plot. 💀
I hear Flatline's coming back, though! I'm excited to see her return!
Fourth, Damian X Cassie Sandsmark (Wonder Girl). This originated from the DCeased storyline, where the world suffered a zombie-like apocalypse thanks to Cyborg bringing the Anti-Life Equation to Earth. Though... To me, she just seemed like another "Jonathan Kent" best friend, than anything else. Probably just me. If there were more interactions, maybe I'll reconsider. 🦸
Fifth, Damian X Djinn. Now, I thought this had potential. They did seem genuine with each other and had nice conversations. Though, if the pedophile part wasn't involved (Djinn being an immortal deity), I'd probably give it a chance. But I don't really ship it because of that fact. 😓 🧞‍♀️
And finally, Damian X Emiko Queen (Red Arrow). I don't see much appeal to this ship. They had similarities, sure, but... that's about it. Damian just had a brief "stalker-crush" and that was gone. So, not much to be said there. Like I mentioned before, if there were more interactions between them, maybe I'll consider. For now, it's not for me. 🏹
This will be where my confession comes to an end. These are my thoughts and opinions. You guys don't have to agree with me but that's just how I see these ships regarding Damian Wayne as a character. Arguments are welcome in the comments. I'm fascinated by these juicy conversations!
Anyways, have fun! And I hope you enjoyed my post. Have a good day!
👋😉👍
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lynaferns · 2 years ago
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I needed to take something out of my chest and I got into a rant of basically me complaining about the (DCA) fandom and shippings. It got long so I'm putting a cut.
If you don't want to read it you don't have to.
Edit: I wanted to clarify, I'm not throwing crap at anyone for liking shipping, there is nothing wrong with the ships. I'm just taking my frustration out to the air because good platonic/friendship content is hard to find. The problem is mine, not yours.
Edit 2: This post is VERY outdated and I don't belive in half of what I said here anymore (the bottom half), I grew out it and I'm doing better now, I think. Also guess what? turns out I may be very aroce so that explains the other half of the post lol.
Since I rebloged that post about being tired of shipping in the fandoms my feed (<-idk if it's called that) has filled up with more posts about it that I relate to but feel bad rebloging because I don't want to call out any of you.
But I'm at a point that it has gotten SO tiresome, shipping is the only thing I find when I go in the Sun and Moons tags. "If you don't want to see that you can filter the tags-" <-that would be great, that would work if it wasn't because 1-there are like 20 different tags for the same thing and I'm constantly adding new ones to the filter 2-not everybody tags correctly/at all their post, I've seen people post their ship art and not tag it as ship, that is going to slip through the filter.
And all the shipping is about romantic/suggestive, they either want to kiss them or something more intimate. Where are the platonic relationships? And I mean friendship relationship, sex/romantic repulsed even. I tried to make one myself, even if I put tags of 'no ship' people still tags it as 'character x selfinser/yn' ship, why? What in the post/drawing/comic/AU made you think this was romantic? That makes me question more things like, why holding hands has to be romantic? Why sleeping in the same bed because there is only one has to be romantic? Why does the minimum of fisical contact a character has with other has to mean is romantic? Why why why? Even if the characters are truly in love/already dating, I don't get it, I don't get why that's the norm, why any of it automatically means 'romantic'.
There is really no solution to this unless I leave the fandom or stop searching content.
I wish I was into that stuff so I could appreciate it, but I'm not and it's no ones fault. I know those people are just doing their thing and having fun, AND it looks fun! I've seen a lot of cool artists around but I can't follow them because I risk having to see everyday the stuff they draw or reblog that makes me uncomfortable. It sucks. I can't make any friends here or anywhere because of this barrier (other than anxiety/personal difficulties and stuff).
And it doesn't stop there. Since the beginning I had the feeling that the DCA fandom likes a totally different character from the one I like. When I search fanart/comics/AUs Sun doesn't feel like Sun, Moon doesn't feel like Moon and every interpretation of fanon Eclipse I had encountered is some kind of mastermind, manipulative and as a plus, predatory, in a bad way.
I'm not good at writing, I know it's hard, I know not every one will share the same perspective I have of the characters, there is not much info about them anyways. But sometimes it feels like people throws out of the window the few details we have about them that makes the Daycare Attendant THE Daycare Attendant to make a completely different character with the same shell. Or they believe as canon something that the fandom made up because everybody collectively believed a rumor even though there's no official information or confirmation.
If the canon Sun and Moon were the same as fanon I would have never liked them.
I'm sure this is a thing in every fandom and I'm probably just pointing out something that everybody knows but this is the first fandom that I got into so this whole year and a half has been a new experience.
Even though all of this I'm still going to draw them, I'll still make fanarts because I like this character.
I've been feeling burned out lately so I don't know how regularly I'm going to draw them or post about them but the brainrot is staying one more year.
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zutaraplatter · 4 years ago
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Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique
There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.
1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR
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It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point
2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice
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And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.
3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players
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Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.
4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!
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I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.
5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm
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Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.
6. MAILEE!!!!
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Do I even need to go into detail?
7. Spiritual sigh*
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Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.
8. ZUTARAAAAAAA
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This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.
9. AANG AND ONJI
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Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T
10. Iroh get your ass back here
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Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.
That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.
(Edited for a typo)
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deberiaestarescribiendo · 4 years ago
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Honor him. Younger Mercenary Oberyn Martell x f!reader fanfic. #Writer Wednesday 05/26/2021
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Summary: You receive the worst news, Oberyn Martell died, your first lover and the first adventure you lived.
Once when you were younger you ran away from your house escaping an unhappy engagement and the promise of a dull life. But your family hired an elite force of mercenaries to find you not knowing that their leader is a Prince of Dorne.
Word count: 6,5k (ups sorry)
Warning: Blood, violence, Oberyn’s death is mentioned as canon in the book and show, Ophidiophobia(fear of snakes), unhappy arranged marriage, alcohol. +18 SMUT (it means no minors, pls) virgen f!reader, oral sex (f¡ receiving descriptive, male receiving mentioned) p in v sex (unprotected cos there’s no durex in Essos BUT USE PROTECTION IN REAL LIFE PEOPLE) grieving.
A/N: I'M SORRY I'M LATE this is for #Writer Wednesday, the challenge created by @autumnleaves1991-blog
I read the books a long time ago, yep, I’m one of those people that said “I’ll finish them when George publish them all” so I got ASOIAF wiki and run with it, so buckle up for some bad geography from Essos and inaccurate cultural stuff. I think this is the longest thing I’ve written and the smuttiest, so sorry if it’s cringy.
Honor him
“Apparently he won the combat but the wounds were too severe and he died”
You raise your eyes from the book. One of the young servants whispers to another collecting the dead leaves on the ground.
“What is it?”
They rise from the ground nervously expecting that you will scold them for gossiping
“We heard the news from the world. A bard was chanting them on the market, my lady” she approaches the fountain; you’re seated on the ceramic tile, feet inside the water, refreshing from the blazing sun in this part of Essos.
“And what did he say?”
“He said there was a trial in Kingslanding. For the death of king Joffrey, and it was his cousin...”
“His uncle, the imp” clarifies the other and the other girl rolls her eyes
“Yes, his uncle was on trial for his murder. And Prince Oberyn from Dorne was his champion”
“The imp asked for a trial by combat, you see, my lady” adds the other
“He battled the Mountain; he crushed the prince’s skull apparently”
“But! but! His blade had poison on it so the Mountain died too” says the other girl excitedly
“Oberyn died?” you mutter, your hands are limp and you don’t realize that you have drop your book until you hear the “blop” sound in the water and it splashed your tunic
Your mind travels to years past in an instant: A journey through the vast empty lands of this continent and how you loved for the first time.
The pages of your book are getting more and more transparent while the black trickles of ink disappear in the water. You wish to scream, to rip your clothes and your hair out of your scalp but you do nothing.
“Are you alright, my lady?” the girls look at each other when you don’t move or try to retrieve your book from the water.
You always thought the greatest pain he gave you was leaving you at your father’s door many years ago, but now he’s gone forever. You always thought, while looking from your window at night, that you will see him one day, coming back on his dark horse ready to steal you away again, but now that he’s dead that small hope, that tiny flame that you kept in your heart is gone.
Your childish hopes and dreams of reviving your first love are shattered. It’s true that your life has changed, you’re a grown woman now, wiser and experience but you still fantasize over him, seeing his face and his hands on your lovers.
“We should call physician” you heard them whisper, but so far away
“Where is he anyway?”
“At his clinic, you silly girl, run”
“You do not need to call him” you mutter “I’m fine. Excuse me”
Not caring for splashing water all over the house, you run to your chambers and collapse into your bed. Buried in the soft pillows, you cried, muffling your howls with them so nobody could hear. Late in the night the moon and stars shine bright casting bluish shadows in your room.
Your body is tired but restless and in the night shade a timid ray of white light illuminates that small scar in your forearm in the shape of a half-moon. And you kiss it, at least you will always have something of his carved in your skin.
Many years ago. Essos.
“You’re cheating, boy” the big man slams the table, the wooden pieces and the coins that all the players have laid at the center fall down. He points at you spitting from a mouth full of crooked black teeth “Show me your arms, boy, I know you’re lying”
“I’m just lucky, sir” you raise your blouse’s sleeves and your arms up innocently and somehow it makes him angrier
He insults you in whatever language he speaks and slams the table up, the players run and the loud tavern suddenly gets quite, waiting for the next movement. You’re an ant in front of that enormous giant, when he stands tall and walks menacingly towards you, you freeze, he doesn’t listen to you when you apologize, it doesn’t matter anyway, you just did to gain time and look for an exit but the room is too crowded.
“Here, boy, I’ve also many tricks under my sleeve” he has a dirty bag hanging from his belt and takes it and throws it at you. It lands at your feet and for a second you smirk not knowing what a bag could do to you, but then it moves and in a blur you see a green and yellow thing twisting until you feel it pressing and slithering over your body. The snake, a beautiful, shiny creature with vibrant colors faces you hissing and shows its fangs. Everything happens to fast. Out of instinct you protect your face with your arms and the animal understands this as a threat and it bites. The pain rings like a bell all over your body every nerve in your body aflame.
In a second, cold blood wets your face and you gasp when you see the snake’s head slide to the side separated from its body with a clean cut.
“I’m sorry for the demise of your little friend” A tall lean man stands beside the giant. You can’t see his face, since he’s covered with black turban and his body is in full armor. One of his arms still holds a curved sword that has snake blood on it; the other has a dagger pointed to your enemy’s neck.
“That viper was worth more than you or your little friend and you will pay for it”
“I doubt it. You know my little friend here” and he points his sword to you “it’s worth a lot and if I don’t tend to her wound rapidly she will die and that’s a shame. So, decide now, do you want to be a setback or do you want to keep living your stinky life longer?”
By brute force, the giant decides his fate and tries to disarm the man who in a swift movement cuts his throat and his blood and destiny joints that of his pet.
“You’ve been quite difficult to find, child” he opens the fabric covering his face. His eyes are dark, dark beard covers his defined jaw line and an amused smirk graces his handsome face. “Let me see that arm” he lowers his weapons, shamelessly cleaning his dagger on the back of the dead tall man and walks to you until your back is pressed against one of the tavern columns. Sheathing his sword, his hand takes yours and raises your arm, evaluating the wound and he hums deeply “Oh, sweet child”
“Am I going to die?” you cry
“Probably”
“If it’s my father who commands you to find me, I beg you to let me die; I do not wish to go back. Death is better than that dreadful place” you shake your head determined but terrified at the same time. He looks at you with his brow troubled
“Death is never better than anything” and he drags your arm to his face. His dark gaze fix on you while he sucks on the wound so hard that for a moment you think he’s drinking your life away. But then he lets you go and spits to the ground “Let’s hope that’s enough. You will come with me so I can give you the antidote”
“I told you, I have no desire to return to my home”
“It’s a pity, then, that I don’t care about that” he grins.
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He gave you so many small jars to drink. Some tasted sweet some bitter and some other made you want to vomit and not drink or eat ever again. But you’re alive. A few hours passed, and then a day, then two, and you’re irrevocably getting back home.
You’ve learnt that your father, in an attempt to find you, has commissioned this elite group of mercenaries to retrieve you; and he’s the leader. It’s a small company but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous. All of them seemed to have many different skills, weapons hidden at every corner of their body, they speak languages you don’t know and you ride your horse tied to it watching each one of them with a suspicious look. After two days riding with them you have decided that there’s no way you could escape now. There’s always one of them standing guard and just a small glare your way gets every thought of escaping out of your head. So, even if it’s dramatic, you decided that your best option is to die. A few days in the desert without water and food and your father will receive a corpse.
“Drink, little girl, you’re withering like a flower” the leader, the man that saved you, says handing you the waterskin
“No, thank you” you turn your head, seated under the shadow of a very thin and dry bush. The orange and violet light announces the immanent sunset where you have stopped for the day.
“You’ve been refusing water all day. You have to drink” he says and pushes the waterskin to your face once more.
“No, thank you” you repeat and he sighs. Thinking you’ve won as he throws the waterskin by his side, you smile subtly until he’s close, crouched down, knees over the sand, looking at you.
“Maybe being a spoiled little flower works for your father, but not to me. Drink or I will make you” He takes your chin and raises it to meet his eyes
“I’m not thirsty” you say, your lips are already dry and they hurt, your tongue is thick inside your mouth and your body screams for just one drop.
“Don’t challenge me, child” he lowers his voice and you gulp
“I’m not a child” you protest, he keeps calling you that and honestly you don’t think he’s much older that you
“Then why do you behave like one? Drink, for the last time” His mouth is a fine line now and his grip on your chin is a little bit firmer
When you don’t answer he opens the waterskin and tucking on your lower lip he pours a small trickle of water in your mouth. The liquid taste sweet, your body works on it own and you open your mouth to drink more with desperation.
“So you weren’t thirsty...stubborn girl” he smirks and you want to slap his smug and beautiful face
He stops pouring water and laughs when you rise up drinking the last drops before he puts the cap on it.
“Look at you, not a withering flower anymore” the mercenary brushes his knuckles over you cheek and you feel them burn “What else do you want?” his thumb caress your chin gathering the small drops of water on your skin and spreads it over your lower lip.
You feel your bones burning, a tension in your lower belly that you haven’t feel many times and that makes you ask for something you don’t even know, so you just answer a timid yes and let him guide you to the fire and the rest of the company.
One of the mercenary is skinning some rabbits, methodically pulling the skin off with blood hands and a deathly gaze fix on you “So she decided to join us” she says
“Oberyn can be really persuasive” another, a big bald man with a beard tinted in blue, adds
So his name is Oberyn, where have you heard that name before?
“Remember that her father is paying for the whole of her, untouched he said” a lean blonde woman, with her face full of black and blue tattoos, is lounged over the bags sharpening her knives
“Well, I hope he doesn’t see her arm, that viper left her with a beautiful scar” Oberyn sits down and helps the mercenary skinning the animals and impales them and puts them to roast on the fire
“I’m not talking about that kind of viper...” she says and the company laughs
“I’m right here” they stop laughing looking at you as if you have done something they deem impossible
“So she speaks” the bearded man says
“She does but it may take some convincing” Oberyn smiles at you over the flames that illuminate his striking and sharp features “If you wish to eat, sweet flower, why don’t tell us how did you escape? We love a good story while we camp”
“Your father was convinced some ragged boy had stole you from your palace” adds the blonde woman
You smile, feeling some kind of pride for your plan, that, looking at it from perspective, did not grant you what you wanted but at least you had a good run. You tell them about how you disguised as a ragged boy lurking a few nights prior your escape so that the servants suspected about somebody being guilty of your disappearing. And how you ran away the night of your betrothal and made it look as if somebody had kidnapped you.
“I ran out of money in Lys so I had to beg, or steal, or gamble for a few coins. And then you found me” you finish your tale, sucking on your fingers, the meat is the best you ever tasted but yet again it must be the hunger from this days refusing to eat or drink.
“I’m almost tempted to let you go, young one, you seem a very resourceful girl” the beard man that you now know as Uhlan smiles at you proudly
“Think about the money” the blonde woman, Rikan, chew on a bone and toss it to the fire
“I’m always thinking about it, why do you think I’m a sellsword?” he jests
“Because you were a street rat with a broad back as broad as your stupidity and it’s the only thing you can do” Rikan spits and Uhlan laughs, a deep and low chuckle that resonates as a thunder.
“She’s a little princess, she couldn’t have survived much longer” the other woman, Shifa adds, the rest of the company has changed the way they look at you, but her. She still squints at you
“There’re princes that have survived worse” Uhlan counters and suddenly there’s a heavy and uncomfortable silence over them. You look at all of them trying to understand and you see Oberyn looking at his feet until he claps his hands together “Let’s get some sleep, we have a long way ahead”
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It’s surprising what food, water and company can achieve. You’re smiling more, you almost forget that you will be delivered to your father and future husband within days, Uhlan tells you about his many adventures, how he almost die in Yiti, how he rode once with a Khalassar and that he had seen the great shadow in the East. Rikan has gifted you a knife “a girl needs to defend herself” she said and proceed to show you how to kill a man in many different ways “If you want to kill your husband though, you must ask Oberyn, he’s the one that knows about poisons and how to kill somebody without raising suspicions”
“How does he know that?” you ask, leaning to the right so you get close to her horse, Oberyn rides beside Shifa before you; both of them speaking in a language you don’t understand
“He has studied many things; he’s been all over the world. He was almost a Maester once, but preferred to travel, fight and fuck the world before he gets back to his duties”
“Duties?”
“He’s a prince” she whispers a mischievous smile on her lips “he doesn’t want to talk about it, because it makes people treat him differently or underestimate him. So don’t tell him it was me, blame the big rat”
“Did somebody call me?” Uhlan screams at the back
“You do have a sharp ear when you want, my friend”
You arrive to Myr at dusk. The city is still vibrating, the merchants offering everything you could imagine and the streets smell like thousands spices. And you absorb it all with wide eyes and open mouth.
“It’s a beautiful world, my sweet flower, and you wanted to end your life” Oberyn raises his voice over the people chatting and selling stuff
“If only it could always be like this” you answer, your smile dies in your mouth remembering this is a passing thing. The adventure will be over soon.
“Life gives us many opportunities to dwell in its pleasures; you have only to acquire a keen eye to recognize the perfect moment to seize it”
“Are you implying that I will have another chance to escape?” you scoff
“Maybe...if that is what you want or maybe to enjoy your life as a married woman, who knows”
You sigh deeply trying to ignore the thoughts about your future husband, that drunken bastard, boring and dull that your father chose.
“Or you could run away and avoid your responsibilities; you can create your own destiny, my sweet flower”
“And that’s what you are doing? Avoiding your duties?” you stop in your tracks and he watches you for a moment, chewing on his lower lip
“Maybe” he answers finally
“I’m tired of being treated as if I was overreacting being a spoiled child while you are here doing exactly what I did, ran away, from the duties of a noble life. I’m not overreacting; all I want is to decide if I want to live my life bearing children for my fool husband and maybe die giving birth or out of boredom and disappointment or try my luck in the wild world. Isn’t that what you are doing? Travel, fight and fuck the world? What’s the difference between me and you?” The people surround you, the company has already enter the tavern in front of you knowing they shouldn’t meddle
“Travel, fight and fuck the world seem a pretty good title for a book. Maybe when I’m old I will write my adventures under that title” he laughs
“I’m glad I amuse you” you spat with your arms crossed
“I apologize if I made you feel that I was underestimating you. Do not confuse my laughter with mockery, I know how you feel and I understand.” He comes close to you, each hand on your arms, pressing them lightly “Believe me, I wouldn’t have accepted this job if your father didn’t pay so well. I have to get back home and I want to leave my company with enough resources so they can continue on their own” he explains, he bends his neck so you are so close you can smell his scent, leather, horse and the dessert. “But that doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy ourselves while it lasts” Oberyn smiles and passes his arm over your shoulders “Have you tasted the wine from Myr?” you shake your head “It’s the sweetest”
The wine is starting to play with your mind, your smile falls languidly over the corner of your lips and you don’t know why you’re laughing but whatever song Uhlan is singing is the funniest thing you’ve heard. Rikan laughs by your side, her laugh is actually sweet and high making her look less menacing. Shifa is the only one that doesn’t look amused at all and he drinks from her goblet eyeing the tavern, especially you, with hatred.
“C’mon, Shifa, we know you can smile” Uhlan grabs her in a bear hug but she squeezes herself out of it
“Let me alone, you brute”
“You haven’t talked much since we retrieve the little girl over here, tell us what’s going on in that little twisted mind of yours?” the man jokes and the other mercenary glares at him
“I’m going to my chamber” She drinks the rest of her drink and strides to the rooms, pushing the drunken people in her way
“Leave her, Uhlan! She’s just jealous that her prince is not directing his attentions only to her lately” Rikan says winking at you
Oberyn has been absent having a conversation in another table until he comes back with a serious expression
“I’m partially offended that you think our company it’s not worth your time” Uhlan says sliding to give him enough space to seat by his side
“Huh, so I guess Shifa is not the only one jealous” Rikan drinks looking at him over her goblet
“Shut up!”
“Where is she?” Oberyn asks
“She went to her chamber” Uhlan serves him wine “So what was about those ugly bastards that got your attention; I thought you had a very refined taste”
“Those are Westerosi men; I wanted to get news of the world. Some of us still appreciate the pursuit of knowledge, my friend” Oberyn taps on his big shoulder
“I appreciate the pursuit of a good fuck better, my friend. Let’s see if those Westerosi want to share some news with me, Rikan are you coming? I’m always lucky with you around”
“I don’t like Westerosi” she snarls
“I don’t care, I just need you to be there so they take a good look at your ugly face and they get convinced that fucking with me is the good option of the two of us” he jokes with one of those thunder like chuckles
Rikan laughs and she follows him, waddling towards the men’s table.
“I should go to my room” you say, rising too fast and the whole room twists and turns
“You liked the wine, I see” he observes you grab the wooden table for your dear life until you find your balance
“Too sweet, I haven’t noticed it until it was too late”
“Let me guide you then”
Oberyn grabs you by your waist and helps you climb the stairs to the second floor. People gather around the aisle, laughter and moans fill the air and the heat of Oberyn skin over yours and the boldness giving by the alcohol make you pressed your body against his a little tighter than its necessary.
“This is you” he says opening the door for you
“Is it true what you said about creating our own destiny?” you collapse on his firm chest, your hands brushing over his neck
“Yes, sweet flower”
“Sweet flower” you mimic his accent “Say it one more time” your glossy lips, sticky with wine, leave a kiss on the tan uncover skin of his chest. His laugh makes you raise your head
“You need to sleep, child”
“No, no!” you slap his hand away when he tries to push you inside the room “Don’t call me that, I’m not a child. I’m a woman” you try to fix your posture to seem taller but you body stumbles to one side almost falling down
“What you are is a very inebriated girl. Good night, my sweet flower” he says closing the door
“Are you going to Shifa’s room?” the words escape your lips before you can think and he lingers on the door with an eyebrow raised
“Why do you ask that?”
“I don’t want you to go to her” again the words are out before you process them
“And what do you want me to do?” Oberyn closes the door behind him. And you breathe deeply a mixture of excitement and fear.
“Stay with me” you mutter
“Believe me I would, but you don’t know what you are asking. It is the wine speaking”
“No it’s not” you pout again falling into his arms, hearing how you sound like a spoiled little girl, you cough “It’s not” you repeat
“Right, let me take you to bed then”
You gasp looking at him with wide eyes. Oberyn hugs your body and walks towards the simple bed at the corner until you both fall down on the soft mattress
“Oberyn” you whisper “I have to tell you something before we...”
“Tell me, sweet flower” He lays beside you, posing his head over his fist
“I’m...I’ve never...” you stutter
“No need to worry” with his free hand he starts to brush his index finger from your brow to the tip of your nose so slowly and softly that you feel your eyes closing down
“Are you trying to make me sleep as if I was a puppy?” you slur
“Shh” he continues until the room goes dark and you cannot open your eyes for much that you try
“Sweet dreams, sweet flower” you hear before you blank out.
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The sun pierces your eyes as if its rays were daggers. The company laughs at your expense, but yet again, Shifa hisses and insults you in some language but it’s evident that she said something nasty because Oberyn glares at her.
“No more Myr wine for you, little girl” Uhlan laughs helping you get on your horse
“Never” you murmur
The pain in the back of your head and the unstoppable thirst you have makes you moody, and it doesn’t help that you know you’re one day away from your home. But everything is worse with the hard sting of jealousy. It’s not that Oberyn does much, but he rides along side her, speaking in that stupid language you don’t understand, and she makes him laugh, he watches with attention whatever she points at during the way. He looks at her, talks to her. All you want is to rush your stupid horse and take her place.
It gets worse when Shifa sees you observing them; knowing damn well what you feel, she becomes softer, leaving touches on his skin, whispers things on his ear. And you can see the intimacy, the camaraderie that they share and that you will never have. And she’s a woman not a little girl, fierce, independent, and strong; and you cannot stop comparing yourself to her.
You arrive to a small town in between the domains of the two free cities, just hours away from the gates of Pentos.
“We will spent the night here, we need to be presentable for tomorrow”
The town has a small and humble bath house. The simple exterior made of red brick doesn’t show the beauty it has in its interior. The garden inside is made of brick and ceramic creating beautiful arches that frame the pool in the middle; green vines crept over the walls and the tender murmur of water is the only sound you can hear.
“We have rooms to accommodate you for the night once you’re done with your baths” the lady, owner of the house, announces and snaps her fingers towards the servants so they get everything ready.
“Thank you” Oberyn says bowing his head “Wash away the dust of our journey, my friends. Specially you, Uhlan” he jokes, slapping the big man’s belly
“You’re as stinky as me, my prince, but the Gods didn’t give me a beautiful face”
The company strips shamelessly, you think that they’re so comfortable around each other that they don’t think twice before submerge their naked bodies in the fresh water.
You stay by the side, taking off your shoes and rolling your sleeves so you can wash your feet and face. You avert your eyes when you see that Oberyn’s armor is on the floor. Your eyes fixed on the water and the blue tiles at the bottom, but you cannot stop from raising your eyes just a little.
His magnificent, strong, and tight body, his beautiful golden skin is marked in scars in some parts, you see the muscles on his legs tensing and relaxing as he gets in the pool. Your eyes travel through the room to avoid seeing him in his full grace.
“C’mon child, you don’t want to be stinky when you meet your father” Rikan splash water at you
“I-I”
“Let her be, she’s scare of my big cock” Uhlan laughs
“That thing that you can barely get up? C’mon, child, it is harmless” The blonde mercenary swims towards you and grabs your hand to pull you in
“Rikan, leave her, let’s finish and we will leave her some privacy” Oberyn says under the small waterfall brushing his skin with a small piece of soap
“Your husband’s eyes will be the only ones that will see you naked” Shifa says and she swims towards Oberyn. Her body is toned and muscular. She joints him under the water stream and when she tries to touch him, he moves away.
You don’t want to smile, but you do, until you remember that he refused you the other night and tonight is the last night you’ll spend with them. Shifa will have him for whatever time she wants.
Eventually they leave the pool, putting on some fresh clothes and rubbing some scent oils on their skins and they look different, less mercenary and more like elite warriors with a thousand adventures to tell. You will miss them; they are the only friends you have ever had.
“Thank you” you say stopping their banter over who’s going to take which room, they look at you confused “Thank you for rescuing me” you say with a trembling voice
“It’s nothing, child” Uhlan says and you see his big eyes shine
“We will give you some privacy” Rikan nods
When they are away you take off those stinky clothes you’ve been wearing since you escape. You moan feeling the water soften your muscle and you enjoy the strong cascade of water hitting your back until your bones feel like liquid inside your skin.
“I never expected you to thank us for getting you to your father” his voice gets you out of the trance, and you don’t open your eyes when you hear the soft sound of clothes hitting the ground and the splash of water when he gets inside the pool again.
“I didn’t thank you for that, but for rescuing me” you answer still your eyes closed under the waterfall “And saving my life” you pass your hand over the now healed wound, a moon shape scar where he suck the venom out of you.
Oberyn fingers grab your wrist, raising your arm towards his lips and planting kisses alongside your veins until he arrives to the thicker skin of the scar, sucking again on it.
“Do you still believe that it was better to let you die from the snake’s bite than to be back home?” he whispers against your skin, his beard tickling you over your pulse
“I still can run away” you open one eye. Oberyn looks amused at you
“Will you?” he asks saving the distance between you
“I don’t know. Will you come get me if I do?” You approach him, intertwining your hands on his neck
“The world is big and beautiful; it will be a shame that a sweet flower like you rots in a place like this all her life” he turns his head and leaves a kiss on each of your arms
“So that’s a no” you laugh but the pain in your heart is real
“I have to leave Essos soon, I guess the time for adventures is up” he exhales deeply
“Just the last one then” you’re surprised of your boldness when you rise on your tiptoes to kiss his lips
It is soft at first. Just tasting him, tempting him to show you more, and he does. Oberyn opens his mouth and sucks on your lower lip and when your mouth is open he savors you with his tongue. He holds your face on his large palms guiding you softly until the kiss deepens and your hands leave his neck roaming through his back and he reciprocates. His hand caresses every inch from your neck to your arms. You moan in protest when he breaks the kiss but then his kisses move to your neck nibbling your skin. He pampers every part of you with his attention, soft kisses and bites over the top of you breast.You cry out laughing when he grabs you and rise by the waist so he can access your tits. You circle his waist with your legs and you hold yourself on his shoulders.
Any good sense in you, any coherent thought gets lost one his mouth sucks on your nipples and you kiss his head trying to control your panting. The sounds that come out of you seem so far away, his low grunts and moans over your breast melt you and you feel the heat gathering between your legs.
“My sweet flower, you have the sweetest tits” he moans and he lowers you so he can kiss you one more time. You run your fingers over his dark hair, his impossibly close to you but you need more. You need him like those drops of water he poured in you the first time. The hunger, the jealousy and desire you felt these past days have reached its peak and you think your heart will collapse. You repeat his name on his lips like a plea.
Oberyn carries you to the side of the pool, and you feel your cheeks burning, your body in goose flesh feeling exposed and at his mercy now that the water is not covering you. He takes his time admiring you, his brow eyes eating every pore of your skin. Kissing your legs he parts them grabbing you by the hips he positions you just at the edge of the pool. He palms your breasts one more time, gracing each nipple with a small pinch that makes you moan loudly. You get flustered, gaining a bit of your conscience back
“No need to be shy, my love, let go. I wish to hear every sweet moan, drink every drop of this sweet cunt” he plants a kiss on your navel, before lowering his face. His first lick between your lips makes you marvel of the unknown sensation. His eyes are fixed on you while he licks faster and sucks between your small lips, when you tense, every single fiber of your body burning, he changes his rhythm, lapping languidly all your sex and back again, fast and slow, and never too much. Until you’re gasping for air and pushing him away
“Please, it’s too much”
“Let me show you, trust me” his wet mouth bites you inner thigh before he starts again. This time you reach the point of no return faster. A wide abyss before you where you skin burns and you heart beat faster until you fall, crying his name. And he holds you, planting kisses all over you body, every part he can reach. The gasps lead to laughter
“What happe...how?” you ask
“I have many things to show you my sweet flower” he smiles
Oberyn lets you in his room. The warm night breeze moves the white curtains and the moonshine casts its rays so you can see him get on top of you with the warmest of smiles.
“Do you still want this, my flower?” he asks
You grab him by the neck and let your lips answer for you. Lowering your touch you push his back so he presses his body against you even tighter.
“Please, please” you beg on his ear
He reaches between your bodies and brushes the tip of his cock on your lips coating it in your arousal, before pushing gently. You gasp at the intrusion; it’s not pain what you feel but definitively a bit uncomfortable at first
“Let me in, my sweet, relax for me” Oberyn bends his neck to kiss and bite your tits. The pleasure turns your body into a withering mess until you’re full of him.
He moves lazily at first letting you grow used to his length and width while he observes your face
“Is it alright my love?”
“I need more” you murmur
“More?” He rises, pressing the weight of his body on his knees and opens you wider grabbing the soft skin on your hips “Like this?” he thrusts deep and fast with each word and you nod biting your lip. His pace is unforgiving, and you cannot think, all you can feel is him, and his sweet words and praises combined with the slaps of wet skin and the creaks of this old bed. Your fingers scratch softly on his chest trying to hold into something when you feel that abyss again, but this time you let it go and it hits you harder. Oberyn collapses over you letting your cunt squeeze him even tighter, slowly dragging himself in and out until he sense his release coming and he pushes harder once, twice until he spills his warm seed.
You kiss his brow, wet from exhaustion and the pool, in a way the cage he’s forming with his body pressed against the mattress is the freest you have ever felt.
The dawn wakes you up, many years later, a harrowing pain in your chest remembering how he kissed you a thousand times, how you slept caged in his arms for a few hours and then woke up with his face between your thighs
“Does it hurt?” he asked and you flinched, feeling the swollen and sensitive skin “I will kiss it better” he said. And you made love again, he moved you in the bed showing how to touch your body and how to touch him, how to pleasure him with your mouth as he did to you. Until the sun invaded the room and crashed your safe space between the shadows. You could no longer hide from your destiny, it was time to go.
He left you, a small and decent kiss on your hand and bid you farewell wishing you a happy life.
You remember running, not paying attention to your father’s complaints and your mother’s cries while you soon-to-be husband drank wine unbothered by the whole thing. You ran to the balcony watching his dark horse taking him out of the city.
He never looked back, and with his parting figure you promised you will live your life happy even if you have to run for it. That you will live adventures on your own until life gives you the last drop of its joy and pleasure. In a way you promised to honor him without knowing one day it will come true.
So you woke up, older, wiser, in your own house, after many adventures lived, and after a sleepless night mourning him, you grab paper and ink and write:
“Travel, fight and fuck the world: the Adventures of an Unusual Lady”
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kinkymagnus · 5 years ago
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thoughts on alec? since this is mainly a magnus blog i guess i'm curious.
kfjlkfgjd thanks for resending sorry tumblr’s a bitch ily
eh i feel like generally i talk mostly about magnus bc Every Other Blog (not literally obviously but like, in general) talks about Only Alec just like…..24/7
so while i like him fine, he’s like, mostly Magnus’s Love Interest on my blog lghjflgkhjfgh but honestly just generally while i do like him i honestly don’t find him that….interesting, individually, i guess? i mean he’s not quite boring, but he’s not a character i really relate to
so the reason i don’t really write alec-centric stuff is like. 1. i just don’t find him as interesting (although i’ve had a few ideas, they’ll likely never be published thanks to…) 2. Spite
aka the alec stans suck. the Alec Stans™ to be clear, the ones who suck, not everyone who likes alec. but like, yeah
anyway let’s not just talk salt and me being petty, despite alec being not my fave i can afford to answer one (1) ask without my entire blog crumbling down and revealing i’ve been an alec stan this whole time without me even knowing it
ok so alec headcanons i guess
1. alec was a chatty kid. not what you’d think, right? but then like, he was taking care of izzy, bc she’s his baby sister and Protective, and jace wasn’t really the type to listen to him. like, ever. alec would suddenly realize jace hadn’t been listening the whole time pretty much every time he tried to have a conversation with him or talk about things he was interested in, even when he listened when jace talked about his latest crush or whatever he was interested in. alec started abruptly going quiet before his sentence was finished, and jace didn’t seem to notice or was just like oh good you’re finally done talking, here’s what i was gonna say. eventually alec gives up. he still talks to izzy but she’s so little it’s a lot slower paced and he usually pays more attention to her than what he wants to say bc Baby Sister. by the time izzy’s old enough to like, properly, hold a conversation (she is also pretty chatty) alec’s already gone a lot quieter. by the time we see him, he basically doesn’t initiate conversation on things he’s interested in that aren’t work-related. he does still sometimes talk to izzy, but it’s hard to get the words out and get everything sounding right, so he gets annoyed with himself. it doesn’t come as easy anymore.
and not to show my magnus stan roots but magnus is kind of similar, albeit way less clear cut, he tends to ramble and talk a lot about his special interests only to shut himself up when he realizes he’s definitely boring whoever he’s talking to (he isn’t, necessarily, but after enough times being told to shut up when you get excited you believe everyone wants you to shut up.) and then he was trying to keep up the whole classy unaffected stylish “def not an adorkable disaster bi nerd, i am dangerous deadly unaffected lothario man who has never even heard of star trek or whatever” facade, and rambling about whatever interested him didn’t really fit that. so he retreated more into himself, too. he did have his friends to talk to, but catarina is so busy and he doesn’t want to bother her and raphael doesn’t want to hear his foolish old dad ramble on, does he, and ragnor–he’d always put up with magnus’s babble, and listened, but magnus felt like he was boring him and then ragnor was–well.
anyway so to united these, then, they met each other. and it takes a while, but they get comfortable with each other. magnus goes on a long ramble about a potion he’s been trying to get just right and then cuts himself off, embarrassed, and apologizes for probably boring alec, and alec’s like what? no, that was really interesting, i was listening, can you explain the thing with the mandrake root? and magnus is like…oh.. (also side note: magnus is incredibly cute when rambling about things he’s interested in, he waves his hands a lot and his eyes are all excited and warm and he’s so lively, and clearly passionate, that it’s engaging and pulls you in. like a really good professor. and sometimes he starts talking about something way above most people’s heads without realizing how Smart he is, but if you ask him to clarify he’s like, totally non-condescending and explains it in creative and understandable way????? sorry im in love with adhd magnus thanks to someone anyway)
and then vice versa, alec slowly feels more comfortable talking about things that interest him, like a book he’s been reading and how it’s so fucking stupid the heroine went for the “blonde bad boy” when he’s such a dick to her, or whatever, like it starts as an angry rant about something but before he can cut himself off he realizes magnus is listening. like, actually listening. and like, if it’s appropriate, magnus will ask questions, engage in what alec’s talking about, and alec finds himself getting better at putting to words what he means and magnus is never mean about it, always patient and understanding
2. as a kid alec read romance novels. cheesy shitty fun romance novels. especially the ones that are like, written by women (or better, queer people, but that’s later) and aren’t weird? you know what i mean? and he loved them. romance was something young alec dreamed of a lot, even if he tried to ignore how he preferred tall, dark, and handsome to the main character, or the kind man the heroine fell in love with to the heroine herself. he hid trashy romance novels like most teen boys his age (including jace) hid porn magazines or whatever. he eventually maybe found some queer lit, but he didn’t dare to bring those back to the institute, instead choosing to go to the library the few times he had free time to sneak out (aka when he wasn’t working, sleeping, training, or watching izzy and jaces’ backs when they snuck out to clubs and shit.
also: 3. also i stand by the fact that alec wasn’t in denial about being gay. he wasn’t repressed, he knew exactly what he wanted and who he was, he just didn’t think it was possible for him to be with a man and be happy. 
4. alec isn’t a sweet innocent baby boy!!!! he’s seen porn, he knows how sex works, he’s masturbated, and honestly i know the show said otherwise but i find it hard to believe he never once fooled around even a little bit. just a little bit. no actual dating? not hard to believe at all. even being a “virgin” despite how outdated and terrible the concept is, not unbelievable. plenty of “normal” people reach college-age without ever having had sex, let alone shadowhunters raised to be demon-fighting soldiers. but like. look. he has the Energy. alec….Alec Fucks. also just something about the whole like, his siblings are always sneaking off to clubs and he follows them to watch their backs (is this canon or just common fanon? i honestly don’t remember) just screams to me hey, he may or may not have made out with an adventurous seelie or a mundane with eyes. or maybe a blowjob or a handjob, who knows. i’m JUST SAYING. i know this isn’t canon but i don’t care. alec lightwood has seen a dick
5. alec is ridiculously protective of people he loves. especially family (both in the sense of literal family like izzy, and family in the sense of “making your own family” like magnus) like he’d kill for them, he’d die for them, he’d live forever for them,
6. alec can and will become immortal for magnus. and not just literally only for magnus, for himself as well–like he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life being a tool for the clave, he can work for better relations between downworlders and shadowhunters, and like accords that aren’t shitty, and he can be more than just another soldier or even head of the institute, he can be more and have time to actually spend time on himself, like it doesn’t have to be training-work-protect his siblings-sleep-training, and then one day he gets married and has kids and dies. he can actually experience the world, do things he enjoys, spend time with his husband, and most of all, he can spend the rest of his life with magnus bane, the love of his life, his husband, someone he loves so much. he can make sure magnus’s heart doesn’t get broken again by falling in love only to lose him. they get their happy ending, you know???? we stan
7. alec would be a great dad i dont know what to tell you he just would be 
8. one of the first kinks alec realized he really had like. with magnus. was office sex. yes im a slut what about it
this is bc he was minding his own business, doing paperwork at his desk, and magnus maybe sent a flirty text and alec was like mm i want to fuck him right now. and then he was staring at his desk thinking mm i want to bend him over this desk, sweep all this paper off the desk and rip off his clothes, take off his panties last and then lick his pussy until he’s begging for me to fuck him then press his chest down against the desk and fuck him until he screams. maybe i could tie his wrists behind his back with a tie. like i’m his boss? oh my god magnus in a secretary outfit. shit. he gets no work done that day. it’s just a rabbit hole of one thought to another until he’s like. sitting there hard and unable to focus on his work bc the mental image of magnus bent over in a skirt over his desk keeps playing his mind and he doesn’t want to do this paperwork he’d much rather be doing his husband.
9. alec loves making out with magnus on the couch like they’re just chilling and watching a movie and cuddling and alec loves to pull magnus into his arms and just make out. like literally not even “this ends in sex and gets hot and heavy” literally just magnus in his arms. and they kiss a lot. it’s soft and warm and relaxing tbh
10. magnus!!! and alec!!! cuddling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they both love it!!!!!! they’re both lowkey touch-starved!!!!!!
11. alec’s a dom top and that’s that my dudes
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