#Also there's a plot where humans from a different planet with space ships n shit show up

[shidraoftheworldpillar]

Whenever I play a mobile game I'll start developing a world and lore for it and it eventually becomes its own independent story thing. No matter what I do this happens. like one time I was playing this Pokemon knockoff and as i was playing it i was making my own version where all the characters were monsters (mystery dungeon style) as well as lore for what happened to humans (there was this whole reveal that these guys called the first ones which were created to protect humanity took a bunch of them after they destroyed themselves and put them on another planet to start over, and a whole thing about one of the first ones deciding to possess the royal bloodline to rule the new humans cause he thought they were shit leaders which is pretty interesting) and in my version the first ones would've thought that humanity was just doomed and instead they took the monsters and placed them on another planet to see if they were any better with the one guy possessing the royals to make sure they were better than their predecessors. Typing this all out makes me wanna lore dump EVERYTHING I have on this damn pokemon knockoff

[saltineofswing]

Ozzy or Drell?

Obvs I got one for Drell SO:

Full Name: Osmanthus Quince, Sword of Storms

Gender andSexuality: Male;probably bisexual

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: Homo Anubii (Shortened to‘Anubii’ in 99% of situations), a race of technically-undead beings whosegenesis is attributed to Worldmarrow, pure unfiltered magic in liquid form.Worldmarrow makes up the core of the planet and frequently wells up in largeamounts to the crust, magically altering things at random. One of the productsof this phenomenon are the Anubii, who owe their existence to the abandonedorganic material of the sapient races of The Road. There are two varieties:Whole and Imperfect. Imperfect Anubii are covered in Sal’s post here, inregards to Domino the Dominator, but Whole Anubii are, ehhh, a little harder toexplain. They don’t quite resemble any of the races that currently inhabit TheRoad… but the various skin colors they appear in are vaguely reminiscent ofthe mysterious Liches that inhabit the massive millennia-old necropolisesbeneath the surface of the continent. This is a painfully obvious connectionbut nobody has actually officially put it together for a variety of reasons, somost people consider it to be one of the grand mysteries of the Road’s society.

Specifically,although nobody now alive has the words for it, Ozzy would be half-Gariagaxianand half-Bogribolan, as evidenced by his pale hair and sort of indistinctlygrayish skin that you could construe as faintly yellow-tinted or faintlyblue-tinted; in addition, Ozzy was born a little extra special – he is what’sknown as a ‘Lesser Lich’, a type of Anubii identifiable by their incrediblemagical potential… and the subsequent mental instability that accompaniessuch power. If a Lesser Lich is put under too much stress, they have a chanceto breach a power threshold and ‘emerge’ into a Greater Lich; Ozzy,specifically, is a Supremator, a subtype of Lich with an extraordinary controlover an elemental force (in Ozzy’s rather exceptional case four of them –Lightning, Water, Wind, and Ice, giving him the title of ‘Storm Supremator’).

Birthplaceand Birthdate:Actually, Ozzy doesn’t come from the Road’s prime timeline, or ‘Primeline’. Theversion of The Road that he hails from is one we affectionately refer to as the‘Mindrunner’ timeline, where the powerfully Psionic hivemind species known asthe Uluth were able to survive their… rocky exodus through the Unknown, fromtheir dying homeworld to the Road. As a result, the trajectory of thedevelopment of both the continent and the society was drastically altered.Notably, the Psionic energy that saturates the atmosphere due to the abundanceof Uluth Overminds across the continent places an inordinate pressure on theminds of Anubii, resulting in an incredibly high incidence rate of Anubiiexplosively developing into Liches. Because nobody really knew what to do withthem, and the understanding of mental health in this world remains somewhatabysmal, facilities were created where Liches could be sent to keep them calmand/or sedated, and in a lot of cases kept in stasis until a long-term solutioncould be divined.

This meansthat the culture into which Ozzy was born views and treats him as a second orsometimes even third-class citizen, where Anubii that are too powerful or areat risk of turning into Liches are taken away to any of several installationsof ‘The Facility’ and the governing bodies use the populace’s fear and lack ofunderstanding to pass laws that blatantly infringe on Anubii’s civil rights.Ozzy was born in 2002 (Mindrunner is set in 2025), in the ever-cloudy southerncoast of the Tidelands. He was born in the suburbs of The Well, MetropolitanZone Prill-003, named for the local Uluth Overmind. Ozzy is a second-generationWhole Anubii and is an orphan, adopted by two human parents, so his exactbirthday is sort of nebulous. Best guess, he was born during the hot rains ofSummer.

GuiltyPleasures: Ozzyis a really shy guy with very little self esteem and a lot of internalizedissues, so he feels guilty about enjoying himself doing just about everything.He’s grown out of most of it, but highlights include: long showers or baths,colorful clothing, expensive tools, taking apart expensive or sophisticatedmachinery (especially if it doesn’t belong to him), and other stuff that hefeels like makes him ‘impose’ on the world around him too much. A big one,though: using his powers just for his own enjoyment.

Phobias: Not only is Ozzy very shy, he is also a peerlesslyanxious guy. He’s got a LOT of phobias. It would be faster to name the stuffhe’s not afraid of – he’s kind of a coward – but there are a couple ReallyReally Big Ones: he is easily triggered by needles, medical equipment(especially especially ESPECIALLY anything that goes on his head), and mentalinstitutions. He is terrified by the prospect of losing control, hates to beseen/looked at/placed in a position of authority, and is horribly averse to thespotlight. After all, he spent most of his life trying to hide his true natureto avoid getting crammed in a stasis pod for the rest of his natural-bornexistence. He also doesn’t really like to be touched, especially by people hedoesn’t know, and is also rather averse to enclosed spaces and restraints.

What TheyWould Be Famous For:If it weren’t for the whole mess Ozzy has become embroiled in, he wouldprobably be famous for his engineering prowess. Ozzy is a genius-levelintellect, and is a talented machinist in his own right – he was able to get ascholarship to work a janitorial job at a college where he was working towardsseveral different tech-based degrees. He created a technology for prosthesisthat utilizes the Uluth’s Psionic-sensitive material known as ‘Mindstone’ as acore and a tough but lightweight and magically reactive plasteel compound,allowing the prosthetic to be linked directly to the user’s mind and react notonly to their mental commands but also to their expectations; if the userexpects to feel touch sensation, they will. If the user expects the plasteel tofeel and behave like flesh, it will (to an extent). It’s really a miracle ofmodern engineering. If his life had panned out differently, he would’veprobably been taught about in medical textbooks for decades on decades.

Also in a wayOzzy is famous, both in the primeline by way of the Wild Hunt and in theMindrunner timeline due to his… legal status. As an inescapable part of hisfights being televised to the Threnghelleon viewing public, Ozzy has been puton blast in a way; he seemed like a huge wimp to everyone (including members ofthe ‘home team’, so to speak) until he literally could not hold back his powerany longer and kicked the ever-living shit out of notorious Wild Hunt bruiserEthem-Cailo in his very first fight. That very first victory was seen as a HUGEupset, and it’s gotten him a ‘following’ amongst the Threnghel populace. Thisis not necessarily a good thing.

What TheyWould Get Arrested For: Existing, actually. When faced with the choice of submitting to a newordinance requiring all Anubii with ‘At Risk’ or higher status (denoting therisk factor for an individual to become a Lich) to be ‘chipped’ with atransmitter and status indicator, or probably just being straight-up taken awayto The Facility, he had a mental breakdown and revealed that he was a Lich (afact he’d been hiding for years). So he went on the run! Canonically, Osmanthuswould probably be arrested for defying Overmind ordinances, failing to reporthimself as a Lich, resisting arrest, defying basically all Emergence protocols,resisting and evading Pure Fold detainment squads, assaulting a police officer,assaulting a Pure Fold agent, associating with known governmental dissidents,conspiracy to commit a felony, conspiracy to incite a riot… uh, et cetera.

OC You ShipThem With: He hasa girlfriend! Her name is Rosemary, they’ve been best friends since highschool, and she is definitely the one who has the spine in their relationship.When Ozzy went on the run, Rosie basically dropped everything and went on therun with him. Otherwise, when it comes to idle speculation, I think Ozzy hasgood chemistry with Fee; he literally took a plasma bolt to the gummy-works forher before he even knew her, which has endeared him to her somewhat.

OC MostLikely To Murder Them: Ethem-Cailo, now Jovix-Cailo, has faced not one but two ‘humiliating’defeats at Ozzy’s hand now. After the first, Ozzy stole the legendary hammerMjolnir (not the version everybody is familiar with, but with a similarWorthiness parameter), which Ethem-Cailo himself had won by beating the hellout of the Aesir. He wants his hammer back, and is filled with hatred for the‘lowly’ mortal that stole it from him. In fact, Jovix-Cailo is going to havehis shot – the two of them are due for a reckoning, and there’s a significantchance that Ozzy might wind up dying in their final conflict. One of them isgonna have to.

FavoriteMovie/Book Genre:Sci-Fi, no question. Since he comes from a near-future and slightly dystopiantimeline, you’d think it holds no mystery for him. But it’s even more wild,speculative, and diluted there, so it’s still pretty nuts. This goeshand-in-hand with horror stuff, too (the more sci-fi, fantasy, or high-conceptthe better). He also enjoys fantasy to a lesser extent, and is a big fan ofsuperhero comics. He’s a fairly typically nerdy guy in his tastes in media.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Ozzy has a certain appreciationfor most cliches and tropes, because he’s pretty good at analyzing media. Evenif he doesn’t necessarily enjoy a cliche, he’s able to appreciate the way itslots into a narrative. However, he is easily annoyed by Idiot Plots andanything that arises from people behaving ‘out of character’, which he feels isa sign that they had to force something to fit where it didn’t. He hates the‘We’re five feet from the exit but OH NO I TRIPPED!’ Trope, and glaring gaps inthe logic of the media in general – stuff that isn’t consistent with the rulespresented by the media in question.

Talentsand/or Powers: Asmentioned above, Ozzy is a genius-level intellect and is fond of tinkering;he’s dexterous and knowledgeable in the art of crafting machinery. He’stalented enough in the art of engineering to innovate functional prosthetics,and has a broad umbrella of technical know-how. He’s clever, quick on his feet,and isn’t a terrible tactician when he’s given a comfortable breadth to plan.He’s also crazy good at fighting games. Don’t challenge him to Street Fighterunless you want to know what it’s like to feel hatred for pixelated green menbecause you KNOW he mains Blanka.

What? You’resaying I’m forgetting something? I dunno. Oh, the lightning thing? Haha yeah,right, right.

Ozzy is aBLISTERINGLY powerful magus with an affinity for elemental magic –specifically, elements associated with the storm: Lightning, Wind, Water, andIce. He is so latently powerful that his mere presence can influence theoverhead weather if he’s not keeping a tight grip on his own magical aura.Once, Ozzy channeled enough lightning to power an entire town for about an hour(he did the math in-universe). Since then he’s actually gotten more powerful,to the point that the upper limit of the amount of electricity he can generateis unknown. The cost of all that power is that his body literally cannot handleit, hence why he has prosthetic arms now. In terms of gameplay mechanics, Ozzycan theoretically deal about 600 damage in a single turn with the proper confluenceof events. It costs him a significant amount of HP and CON, so it’s notsomething that can be used flippantly, but it’s a considerable boss-burner ifthe situation calls for it.

Recently, Ozzywas blinded in his one remaining fully-functional eye by a bad turn in a gameof divine chance by Al Fortuna, August En-Zaiid’s patron deity. However, notlong afterwards, Ozzy’s senses of Touch and Hearing were elevated to superhumanlevels by the whims of the very same game; currently he hasn’t had the opportunityto replace his eye with a prosthetic but he does have the ability to mapobjects around him in space based on electromagnetic fields and bioelectricity,and that with his super-hearing gives him a fairly precise image of the world.He just can’t read or watch TV or do anything too precise.

Why SomeoneMight Love Them:Osmanthus is a sweet guy with a big heart and a lot of empathy. He’s a verygood listener and has a very clever sense of humor. He’s smart and is willingto share his knowledge very liberally, but he shares inclusively and doesn’texplain so much as inform (narrow though the distinction may be). When he’scalm, he’s very methodical and cunning, and he gives pretty decent advice. Hehas no problem sharing the spotlight (prefers to stay out of it, in fact) andis very good about giving credit where credit is due – doesn’t hold grudges,nonexistent temper, doesn’t take stuff personally, and is quick with acorrection or a fact-check when needed. Some people enjoy a partner they canhelp or ‘fix’, so to speak, and Ozzy does have a lot of issues.

Why SomeoneMight Hate Them:As I’ve mentioned, Ozzy is a bit of a coward. His self-esteem is absolutelyabysmal and he is devastatingly non-confrontational to the point that he won’tstand up for himself at all unless absolutely forced to. He can seem a littlesniveling, especially since he has a pretty bad stutter that gets worse whenhe’s stressed. On top of that he is kind of hard to deal with at times; it’snot always easy for people to handle their own issues, let alone somebodyelse’s – and Ozzy has a lot of issues. When it’s at its worst, he’s incoherentand completely non-functional for the whole day; at it’s best, though, he stillhas trouble speaking coherently, has problems with dissociating and sometimeshearing things, and stuff like that. When he’s feeling talkative it’s hard toredirect his focus when he’s on a roll, which can interfere with his ability tolisten to other people and participate in group conversations, and if someone snapsat him too sharply he’ll just clam up and stop talking altogether. So,sometimes interacting with him can be tiresome.

How TheyChange: Ozzy haschanged A Lot since I first introduced him to the game in Mindrunner;originally he was a very lonely and honestly quite pathetic guy, with a lot ofproblems he’d completely given up on trying to solve, slogging through day today life and hiding his ‘At-Risk’ status. When Mindrunner started he wasactually suicidal, and had already failed two attempts due to his Lichabilities; although it was partially against his will, being swept up in theevents of that story gave him a will to live and the discipline to actually dosomething about his mental health and the state of the world at large. He hasdeveloped an incredibly fine control over his powers (which continue to grow astime goes on), met a bunch of new people, and has gotten in REALLY good shape,all in the span of half a year after spending most of his time as a skinny-fatjanitor at a second-choice college. Ozzy is working on his self-esteem, whichis coming along slowly but surely; after taking Mjolnir from Ethem-Cailo he hasdeveloped a reliance on the hammer as a sort of crutch for his self-esteem – ifthe fabled mythological hammer of the Aesir deems him ‘worthy’, he probably is,right? It’s a good first step, but the events of his next campaign willprobably involve confronting that crutch. He’s not a hero yet, per se, but he’sgetting there.

It’s not allpositive, unfortunately; since Ozzy started to grow exponentially more powerfulafter his ‘emergence’ into a full Lich Supremator, Ozzy has also begun tosuffer from adrenaline-influenced mood swings and the occasional bout of mania.As is the case with many Liches throughout the history of both Mindrunner andthe Prime Timeline, Ozzy has developed a trigger-response to life-or-deathstressors in which he undergoes a mental status shift and gets much moresevere, violent, and manic that he refers to as The Lich Shift. An unstable butmostly manageable issue that only really rears its ugly head when Ozzy isconfronted with significant danger. The problem is, Ozzy is currently under theweight of several long-term mental stressors: Everybody keeps telling him thathe’s going to have to kill Jovix-Cailo, and although he knows that’s the rightthing to do, he’s never killed anyone before – and he’s going to have to killagain, in the civil war that is all but waiting for him back on his home plane.The burden of responsibility in these situations has begun to warp the ‘LichShift’ defense mechanism into something more distinct and disparate.

Why YouLove Them: Ozzywas originally made because I wanted to turn my Destiny OC Euclid into atabletop character, but he almost instantly became a unique character that wasthe star of a surprisingly in-depth and exciting one-off game. Both Sal (TheDM) and I decided pretty instantly that we wanted to do more with him. I thinkhe’s a fairly nuanced, complicated character for what he is; I feel likecharacters with his type and severity of problems don’t often get to strugglefor their own benefit (as opposed to the audience’s schadenfreude), and despiteevery setback he’s still kicking and still making progress, which I think isvery relatable and very important. He’s got a lot of handicaps and regrets andphobias but he fights anyway. He’s the underdog, he’s grown up taking shit forbeing born, his own powers threaten to kill him, but he fights anyway. Peoplehave unrealistic expectations for him. His life has been completely ruined andflipped upside-down by the choices he’s been forced to make. His reward is along, uphill slog with few immediate gratifications. He Fights Anyway.Characters in his position I feel like get shoehorned to side-character, orkilled off, or turn into the bad guy, or all of the above, but Ozzy is theprotagonist and that gives him a really interesting breadth of emotion andchange. And also, he’s cute.

[tessatechaitea]

Green Lantern Loves Space Ghost #1

I hope this stars the talk show version of Space Ghost.

James Tynion IV is writing this issue so I bet it's more serious than it ought to be and it'll probably be full of comic book tropes and Space Ghost will come out as bisexual. The issue begins with a planet in some serious trouble. You know the kind of trouble planets get into in Green Lantern comic books! It's always serious and hardly ever humorous and wacky. Just once I'd like to read about a planet full of sentient penises having to deal with sentient vagina missionaries hellbent on getting the penises to worship their vaginal god. I mean, okay, fine. That's probably a metaphor for a lot of comic books. But I don't want to read it as metaphor! I want to look at pictures of talking vaginas!

So the weapon is a pen? Is that the big Twilight Zone twist? "He's got the only pen on this world and he's writing lies about us! Future generation will read those lies and think we were all jerks! And we can't get the pen away from him because he's locked himself in the bathroom! And we can't get the door off the hinges because the door swings inward! And we can't pick the lock because our greatest technological advancement (aside from the one really sweet pen!) was perfecting the unpickable bathroom door lock! We're doomed!"

I love to toot my own horn so let me say I probably just wrote a better story than whatever Tynion IV came up with. I just got to the page with the credits and I want to apologize to Christopher Sebela for not including him in my critique of the writing. I'm sure you've added nothing to this story that James Tynion IV didn't say, "I was already thinking of adding that! I know Scott Snyder!" I should really meet some of these writers before caricaturing them. Although I feel like I probably nailed Tynion IV. It's just too bad you can't hear, through the written text, the grating, whining voice I gave him. The first few pages are used to establish that the call for help is coming from a place outside of the known DC Universe. Page one is all, "We don't know where we are!" Page two is all, "I'm Hal Jordan and this is a new space and time dimension that I'd like to enjoy!" Page three is all, "I'm Salaak and I'm reminding you that this distress call is coming from uncharted space that we've never explored because it's outside our universe or even further!" Hopefully that's all the reminders this comic book gives us because even I'm not so stupid that I didn't get the message after rereading it all three times because I was sort of confused about where the message was coming from. Now that the location has been established, it's time for some action! Larfleeze makes an appearance, as does Space Ghost and Zorak. How did this comic book get so exciting so quickly?! Was it written by geniuses?! James and Christopher should take that last paragraph as a compliment because it's the nicest thing I'm bound to write today.

Especially if I have to wade through twenty pages of dialogue like this.

Although I wouldn't mind more art like this:

Is this the first time Green Lantern has made a light construct butt plug?

Green Lantern and Space Ghost crash on a planet outside of the known universe (yes, it's mentioned again). It's a planet full of either Robocops, Transformers, or Sentient AT-STs. It might also be a Battletech crossover but since the cover didn't mention Battletech in an effort to get the huge Battletech audience to pick up the comic book, I remain doubtful of that conclusion. The alien Hal winds up talking to (a regular humanoid alien because the robots are apparently just weaponized vehicles) tells his story and it sounds suspiciously like the plot of Life, The Universe, and Everything. Apparently Green Lantern and Space Ghost have crash landed on Krikkit. I could explain in greater detail but if you aren't familiar with The Hitchhiker series, why would I coddle you and your choice to remain ignorant of something so enjoyable? Although, to be fair and objective and other complimentary things that perhaps aren't completely true of me, Life, The Universe, and Everything was the worst book of the bunch. The Perterrans attack Hal because they can't have any evidence showing up on their planet that suggests there is more to the Perterran universe than simply Perterran.

I would have chosen Amanda Waller. But I guess that might be construed as racist or sexist or fattist.

Does anybody need to know my opinion on United Airlines and their behavior this week? No? You all know exactly what I would say already? Good. Thank you for paying attention so I can spend less time writing. Hal gets away so that he and Space Ghost can have a battle. Remember that thing I said about James Tynion IV relying on comic book tropes? Well, here we are with the good guys battling due to a misunderstanding! Only a few pages left before they realize the mistake and work together. I bet Christopher Sebela read the script and was all, "Maybe let's try something different?" And James Tynion IV was all, "Really?! You're going to question my writing! I did mention I know Scott Snyder, right?! Anyway, what do you think of all my great jokes?" And then Christopher was all, "There are jokes?" The two heroes wind up knocking each other out just as some kid named Keila and her robot on a leash (named P.E.T. because of course it is) enter the scene. She takes them away so that they can learn that they're on the same side and also become part of the rebellion, probably. So there's some stuff where everybody decides to get along so the plot can continue. Can we get some kind of Comic Book Consortium to set up official tropes so that comic book story space isn't wasted by them? So the first ten pages of this comic book could have been condensed into one panel that read "COMIC BOOK TROPE 1A." Then everybody goes, "Cool. Space Ghost and Green Lantern fought each other due to a misunderstanding and neither actually bested the other before they realized their mistake and began working together to find the real bad guy. Let's get to the story now!"

Oh no! This story isn't about a secluded planet cut off from the rest of the universe at all, is it?! It's a metaphor for human loneliness! NOOOOOOOO!

It turns out that this planet that speaks English (it must since Hal can understand the aliens without his ring) has only one major difference in their language: weapon means vehicle! They also have the word vehicle for vehicle which enables the alien to easily explain, "Weapon is our word for vehicle." Well, that sure will cause a lot of wacky mix-ups, right?! Green Lantern and Space Ghost probably wouldn't have shown up if they received a transmission that said, "We have a really powerful car and some guy wants to destroy it!" Green Lantern and Space Ghost believe the crazy guy with the rocket ship who sent out the distress call. They decide to back his play to destroy the foundation of the entire culture of this world. That seems like the right thing to do. Truth is always better than stability! I mean, even if you believe that truth is better than stability, is it smart to trust the judgment of one guy? I suppose when the other side has already threatened to kill you, it's probably the best decision. To make matters even more exciting, the military shows up to destroy everybody! It happens so quickly that Space Ghost and Green Lantern are given back boxes holding their ring and wrist bands but the little girl mixed up the boxes! And there's not time to switch! I can't believe I thought this comic book couldn't get wacky! Ha ha! Look at Space Ghost try to use the Green Lantern ring! Ho ho! Look at Hal Jordan try to use Space Ghost's whatevers! They switch back pretty quickly but Hal Jordan discovers his ring is almost out of energy. Like always! How the fuck aren't Green Lanterns getting stranded on backwater planets constantly? Their rings always get critically low or run out of juice because that's the only way to make the fight tense (at least for unimaginative writers like Cullen Bunn and Cullen Bunn). It wouldn't be a problem if the Green Lanterns hadn't stopped using that Storage Locker Planet to keep their batteries nearby in interdimensional space. In the end, Green Lantern and Space Ghost inspire the planet to rise up and believe in something greater than whatever they were already believing in. They inspired the Perterrans to not simply sit back and take it in the ass! What a great story! I'm so happy that people are around to inspire other people or else how will all those other people know that there are other ways to live their lives?! People who inspire are life-saving heroes! I hate stories that glorify inspiration. Inspiration is what people who are too lazy to actually do shit do. It's the acceptance of advertising as the impetus that gets the world moving. "Without a charismatic person singing on a reality television show, how would any young people know that you can become a charismatic person lucky enough to get all the same breaks that that person did so that they could also become an inspiration to inspire people to become inspirations? It just wouldn't happen without inspiration! Nobody can ever be self-motivated or believe in themselves without first being told to believe in themselves! Fuck off! The Ruff 'n' Reddy story is terrible. It's just a bunch of old jokes and stolen material shoved into a framing story of two comedians trying to find new partners whose last names will make a clever pun or saying. That's just an old Mitchell and Webb sketch! So even the framing story connecting the stolen material is stolen!

I'm sure the punchline has something to do with somebody putting their cock inside somebody else's ass. Ha ha.

A lot of the material in the Ruff 'n' Reddy story seems way bluer than I would expect DC to greenlight for a Teen Rated comic book. I guess because the filthy punchlines are either never actually mentioned or were deemed not quite explicit enough, DC Comics was okay with it. I certainly don't mind! I just think it's an odd decision. Especially since the main story is about how Space Ghost is good with kids and how people inspire children to grow up to change the world. I mean after feeling good about how little Keila grows up to become a space explorer, the reader is treated with jokes about chickens fucking eggs, cocks inside asses, and walruses raping seals? Way to go, DC! Oh! There's also a violent depiction of a forced rimjob!

To be completely transparent, I was less upset about this as I was about the stolen Bill Hicks escalator joke! And by "less upset," I mean I masturbated to this.

The Ranking! Overall, I'm almost sorry I purchased this comic book. At least I'll get a few more private moments with that rimjob pick. Ooh la la!