#Also ridiculous? Me now adding a super romantic scene into one of my fics where Will is very admirable of those beautiful arches.

[castlebyersafterdark]

yo mister eyebrows fan you need to get on no.5

https://www.tumblr.com/finnoahsource/763169562540883968/finn-wolfhard-for-bvlgari-watches-gepjpeg?source=share

Yoooo hey, yes mister eyebrows fan is very pleased with very many things.

Fixating on:

[arukou-arukou]

A Non-zero Chance

I jumbled the timeline as I was writing this. Just go with it, okay? For @stevetonygames prompt Fluff: Sparring, for team angst. Also adding fic non-linear and tropes: soulmates. Angst with a hopeful ending. Mentions of sex acts. Canon typical violence. There is a read more line after the first section.

 Many many months after that faithful day in Sibera, Tony returned to the scene of the crime. The site was untouched. He hadn’t told Ross about it, and apparently T’Challa had decided well enough was better left alone. The holes they’d put into the bunker of the facility had completely covered over in frost and ice, and Tony had to wonder how Zemo had even dug the little hillock out in the first place. Though there had been a snowcat parked outside when they all first arrived. Without any care, though, it had once again faded into the arctic surroundings. Only someone who knew what they were looking for would find it.

Tony broke in through the holes rather than the front door. He wasn’t really in a mood for digging, and as satisfying as it might be to melt snow with an overloaded repulsor, this mission was also supposed to be stealth and secretive, and he didn’t really need Ross any further up his ass.

Inside, the evidence of their fight wasn’t as big or horrifying as he remembered. There were some structures that had toppled, and a few spots where he’d scorched cement with a repulsor, but it didn’t look nearly as bad as he remembered it being. The Avengers had certainly done worse elsewhere. Tony ran his hand over a shield-shaped crack in the wall.

—

 “This is ridiculous, Cap, we need to know how to fight together, not fight each other.”

Steve smiles back over his shoulder. His ridiculously broad shoulder. “After Wanda mind-whammied us, I’m not taking any chances. We should all know how to incapacitate each other just as a precaution.”

“Only incapacitate, Steve? Not maim?”

Steve chuckles and starts strapping on boxing tape. “No maiming on the docket today. Maybe next Tuesday.”

 —

 Tony followed their trail of destruction back into the heart of the bunker, where the super soldiers still rested suspended, illuminated in sickly yellow. There was the fucking TV, right there. The thing that had ruined it all. Tony stared down at it, wondering where the tape reel itself was located. Probably back in that room Zemo had been hiding in. The bulletproof one. Somewhere in the hallways, Tony could hear water dripping. Impressive, really, given the permafrost all around. He would’ve thought the systems had frozen over long ago. Near his foot, there was a gun, the semi-automatic Barnes had been carrying. It was useless now, its clip and firing mechanisms slagged by his repulsors. He picked it up all the same and aimed it at the glass where Zemo had hidden. The suit��s fingers were too thick to fit over the trigger—what was left of it anyway—so Tony just imagined how satisfying it would be to fill that glass full of shrapnel, to watch Zemo crumple to the ground.

 —

 “Why are you even training me, Rogers? I’m retired. Aren’t you supposed to be looking after the rookies?”

“Just because you’re retired, Tony, doesn’t mean trouble won’t come looking for you. You’re a pretty attractive target.”

“Why yes. Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing.”

Steve punches his bicep gently before offering a bottle of water. Tony takes it, squirting some into his mouth before moving on to his sweat-drenched hair. On Steve’s left wrist, he catches sight of the red band that hides Steve’s words. It would be rude to ask. Totally taboo. But Tony can’t stop himself.

 —

 Tony managed to jimmy his way into the control room, and there he found the VCR, still loaded with the incriminating tape. If he were smart, he would just rip the thing apart, burn the tape and shatter the shell. And Tony was smart. Just not smart in the right ways. He fired up the power to the TV, rewound the tape, and then hit play again. He’d rewound too far. Barnes was in his cryo tube. Some slimy scientists were hauling him out, shoving him into some horrifying chair, pushing down the nodes, saying the words.

No. Tony didn’t want this. He didn’t want to feel sympathy for Barnes. He wanted to let his rage fester and corrode him until he didn’t care anymore. All caring had ever gotten him was betrayal.

 —

 “Do you know who they belong to?” Tony asks, looking up defiantly, refusing to be sheepish about his lack of willpower. Steve glances down at his band before looking up again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He looks wistful and boyish, sweet and beautiful. Tony wants to kiss away the sorrow he sees in that face.

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s dead now.”

“Oh.” Tony touches his own band, thinking of the words beneath. He’s my friend. The most significant thing anyone will ever say to him. The thing that, if the romantics would have him believe it, points him toward his soulmate. He’s never really gone in for that, though. His parents had had each other’s words, and their marriage was anything but blissful and romantic.

No. Tony’s got a different theory about the words.

 —

 There. Tony spotted it before even knowing he was looking for it. On Barnes’ collarbone. Had fate known he would lose the arm? It was unusual for words to be somewhere else on the body. Non-dominant wrist. That was the norm. The tap quality was shit and Tony couldn’t enhance it without bringing the tape back to Fry. And like hell he was bringing the tape home. Were the files somewhere? Hadn’t Zemo had a book? Maybe it was here?

Tony searched the control room, trying to find evidence of the thing Zemo had used to control Barnes. There was no sign of it, but what there were were dozens of filing drawers, all of them covered in a layer of dust. Tony started digging.

 —

 Steve’s off his game today, Tony can tell. He’s distracted by something, mind not in the ring, and Tony takes advantage. Just like Steve and Nat taught him to. He sweeps Steve’s leg, rolls on top of him, pins his leg in a position that's precariously dangerous even for a supersoldier, and applies weight. “Yield?”

It’s late, the halls are quiet. Tony hadn’t even meant to do sparring with Steve today, but Steve had asked, so Tony had delayed his return to New York City and well, the late hour puts his mind elsewhere.

Their eyes lock. Tony’s still on top of Steve, holding him in place, threatening his knee joint. Between one breath and the next, their positions are flipped, Steve on top of Tony, both of them hard, teeth clacking. Tony doesn’t make it back to New York City that night.

 —

 What felt like hours later, Tony finally discovered what looked like a medical log. He’d been trying to learn Russian, but adding a new script was harder than adding a spoken language, and he was a busy man, what with covering Rogers’ ass every other day. Natasha might have been a master spy, but Steve was a puppy who hadn’t learned how to control his tail wag yet, and he left destroyed crockery in his wake. There was always some trail to some terrorist or smuggler or weapons dealer that needed cleaning up, lest Ross take notice. The point being, Tony’s Russian wasn’t exactly sparkling.

But he’d double-checked ahead of time to know what he was looking for and now he was pretty sure he’d found it. Flipping through the file, Tony found what he wanted to know almost instantly. ‘Til the end of the line. The words. Those words.

 —

 It’s a thing. Sort of. Tony comes to the compound. They spar. They fuck. It’s only their third time sleeping together that Steve drags him into the shower, wristband conspicuously absent. Tony touches the thin skin, for once asking permission before he looks down. Steve nods, trusting, contented. I’m with you to the end of the line, pal. “He” Steve had said. Tony doesn’t need to ask to know who “he” is. There was only one really important “he” in Steve’s life way back when. And it makes sense, too. After all, Barnes plunged to his death trying to protect Steve and Steve had tried to protect him just as hard. Of course they’re important to each other.

“Can I see yours,” Steve asks, kissing Tony’s band. Fair’s fair, Tony thinks to himself, and nods.

Steve gently unclasps the snaps and sets the band aside outside the shower. He looks down at the words and then up at Tony with a silent question. “I don’t know whose they are.”

“And you’re still okay with us?”

“Steve, I’m standing naked in a shower with you. I’m pretty damn okay with this.”

The bright grin Steve gives him feels like a gift.

 —

 Tony left, hauling the tape and the filing cabinets behind him. They would be useful sooner or later, he was sure. And it felt so important, hauling his literal baggage along with him back to the US. Well, first a pit stop in Wakanda so Shuri could make copies. Fry flew the quinjet on autopilot, which was maybe a mistake. Tony needed distractions and all he had were files rendered in Russian, which were frankly giving him a headache. He wanted to hate Barnes so much. But fate was literally sending him a message. Barnes. Rogers. ‘Til the end of the line.

Eventually, frustrated, he managed to sink into a fitful sleep, which took him to Wakanda’s borders. T’Challa sent along an escort at the shield wall to make sure Tony was alone and also to make sure Tony didn’t cause any undue trouble. As if he could manage anything more than a nervous breakdown at the moment. Shuri was waiting for him on the platform, and for her and her brilliant mind, he managed a tired smile.

“Brought a present for you.”

“Thank you, Tony. I would get them myself, but—”

“No, no. You’re busy in Oakland kicking science ass and shooting layups with the youth. Let the old guy take care of the analog—” Tony shuddered theatrically “—files.”

Shuri smiled more brightly and kissed him on the cheek. “You look tired. Go see my mother. She’ll be wanting to mother you.”

“I shouldn’t. I’ve gotta—”

“My brother has already ensured that General Ross cannot find you. Go. Eat some food. Get some rest. Perhaps we can talk about your latest arc reactor designs in the morning. I have some ideas.”

“I bet you do.”

Tony knew when he’d been dismissed, and he also knew he was being handled a little, but it felt nice to be handled. It felt nice to not have to be trying to outwit Ross at every turn for a little while. So he allowed Ramonda to stuff him full of delicious, spicy food and then shuffled off to the guest wing, intent on getting at least four hours before he took off.

But the second he laid down, he was awake and restless, unable to settle. His thoughts kept going back to those files, going back to the “end of the line,” thinking again and again about the letters carved into Steve’s skin. How many times had he kissed that wrist? How many times had Steve kissed his? How was it fair, that Steve would be Tony’s words, but Tony wouldn’t be Steve’s?

Fed up, he yanked on a pair of loose cotton pants and a loose cotton T-shirt and wandered the palace, looking for distraction. None of the guards stopped him, though they watched him with considerable distrust. He didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t trust him either. Not anymore. It was only when he heard the sound of skin slapping leather that he stopped short. That sounded like… But it couldn’t be. All the same, he pushed through the door, freezing as he discovered a huge training ground, Steve inside, alone at a punching bag.

Steve froze too, and the bag caught him on the backswing, smacking him straight in the nose. Tony found himself caught between laughing and rushing forward with concern, and ended up doing a bit of both, snorting as he approached, though he remained well out of Steve’s personal bubble. “Smooth, Cap.”

“Tony, what are you doing here?”

Tony scuffed his toes into the mats, which felt solid right up until he kicked them and then gave way like kinetic sand. It felt heavenly and he wanted to play with it and see what it was made out of. “Oh, you know. Just dropped in for a cuppa with the King.”

“Did…did you bring those files?” Steve remained sprawled on the floor, looking up at him, a trickle of blood trailing from his nose.

“And if I did?”

Steve swallowed heavily, rubbing at the blood and smearing it. And then he was up, faster than Tony could react to, holding Tony, kissing him sloppily through mumbled “I’m sorry’s.” Tony didn’t know how to react. Was this what an out-of-body experience felt like? He remained motionless even as Steve broke away, jumping back, looking more unsure than he’d looked since he and Tony first met. “Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… You don’t want…” Steve took a huge breath and squared his shoulders, looking Tony in the eye. “That was wrong of me. I hurt you. In so many ways. It was wrong of me to kiss you.”

“Also pretty sure you’re cheating on your boyfriend if you kiss me. Don’t forget that bit.”

The little line between Steve’s eyebrows deepened. “Bucky and I, we’re not… We’re just not. I thought we would. But I can’t. Every time I tried, I felt like I was betraying you. And Bucky felt like it was wrong, too. We didn’t…we didn’t click. Not romantically, anyway.”

“You’re not…” Tony could barely dare to let himself to hope. “Didn’t you back in the war, though?”

“No. No, we didn’t. It was too much, running missions, fighting Hydra. Plus, he was afraid I’d get caught and outed. So we didn’t. I should’ve told you. But I didn’t think it mattered.”

All the thoughts Tony used to have about the words, the idea that maybe they had nothing at all to do with romance, came back to him. He ran a finger over his own wrist, where Steve’s words were hidden.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve stood there, square, looking as though he was waiting to be punched, ready to take his punishment like a man.

“Wanna spar?”

[septiembrre]

Every even number for get to be mine.

OH MY GOD, THIS IS OVERWHELMING!!!! But, I’m going to do it anyway because I LOVE Get to Be Mine. This story is everything to me -- like it is seriously my most favorite daydream -- and I need to get over myself and write the next chapter. I’m just a little intimidated about what I want to get done and stalling because of it. 

Which scene was your favorite to write in Get To Be Mine?

I love writing all the Beth/Rio scenes confrontations. Oh god, I just went to go to pull a quote and now here’s this too-long thing:

“Oh my god. Don’t be—” her voice lowers to a whisper, even though there’s no one around to overhear, “—indecent.”

“You started it.”

“I was talking about actual muffins.”

Rio’s still snickering as he asks, “What else you got?”

“Well, again you said had said our first date was at a bar? Where were you going with that?” Well, she knows. Half of their interactions have been at a bar, his bars. The other half on park benches and picnic tables.

“Oh yeah, your old story. One-night stand—excuse me, day stand. I fucked you on top of your blueberry pancakes? I mean that’s not exactly appropriate for our future company, either.”

It’s an admission of his own.

In a kind of distant, disassociating way, she can acknowledge that Rio’s point tally has just superseded hers by a million. There will never be hope of point recovery. She really doesn’t have the emotional energy to finish this conversation. So, it just comes out.

“He told you?”

“Yeah.” Rio bites his lip, nodding. Her eyes can’t help but zero in, even while experiencing unprecedented levels of distress. She tries to summon her strength as Rio says, “Good story, though.”

I’m obsessed with writing this shit. Their scenes are getting WAY out of hand. The above is only a rather tiny fraction of an absurdly long scene. Thanks to everyone who sits through reading this monster.

I also am enjoying branching out a bit and writing the Ruby+Annie+Beth interactions, Beth+Marjorie and Beth+her kids. It will come as a surprise to no one but I love writing Beth in relation to other women. 

If you could change anything in Get To Be Mine, what would it be?

Lol, I’d re-write the whole first fucking chapter and give it a much more realistic timeline. 

I also started this fic without having plotted much of it. I was sure at the time it would be a three-parter (jajajaja as if!). It wasn’t until @foxmagpie prodded me with many helpful, gracious questions that I finally was pushed to more fully outline GTBM and well, now it’s fully plotted. 

I try not to be too hard on myself for it but I worry folks won’t be able to get past the first chapter, and I do wish I would have realized that outlines are my friends and totally accessible to me before I did. But, it’s okay! I’ve learned now at least.

Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in Get To Be Mine?

Lollll, the issue with Get To Be Mine is that I have absolutely no control and really struggle with cutting anything from it -- especially dialogue. Idk, I’m the type of person to have three-hour-long conversations on the phone with my friends and all of this is exactly how I’ve ended up with these hideously long conversations in the fic but, it is what it is. The dialougue makes me so happy. 

Hm... I’m trying to think of a juicier detail. I did almost cut this Ruby+Beth+Annie scene I ended up enjoying a ton. 

"And that was two years ago,” Beth adds. “Before all the nasty, terrible stuff. We don’t even know if he’s ever, you know…” Her mouth opens making what she’s sure are ridiculous configurations as she flounders, “ —cared.”

Annie’s jaw hangs open for a moment. Then she pulls it together and addresses Ruby first, “Okay, I love my sister, so stop trying to guilt me. Maybe what they need is to finally fuck again and get over whatever this is.” Ruby raises her eyebrows, considering Annie’s point but with a formidable amount of hesitation, as Beth splutters indignantly again.

Annie turns to her sister. “And Beth, I know homeboy has been super shady about his feelings but he has them.” Beth shakes her head, but Annie nods adamantly back at her. “They are in there somewhere because, bizarrely, we are all still alive.”

She pauses to knock on the wooden surface of the worktable, and murmurs a quick, Rest in peace, Lucy. Ruby crosses herself. For a second, Beth’s stomach plummets, and fuzzy words for an old prayer tug at her brain. She curls her fingers around the edge of the table to steady herself, focusing on the sturdy wood top as she processes what Annie said. Somehow despite the grief and all of the terrible things, it feeds the kernel of warmth inside of her.

“Is he the ideal romantic prospect? Nope, definitely not.” Annie’s lips pop and enunciate the ‘puh’.  Beth marvels at how her little sister can always find room for irreverence. “And no matter how this fake-dating sitch goes, I have to make it clear that you are not allowed to become his wife-in-crime or whatever. But, maybe you guys can go through the motions—” Annie thrusts a little with her hips, rocking on the stool. “Bone, y’know.”

Which came first, the title or the fic?

The fic! 

I had been thinking about a fake-dating Beth/Rio premise for months. Then, a fake dating prompt was listed in the GG Ficathon last May so I claimed it as a way to get myself to finally write this out. I had never written anything longer than 4k or a multi-chapter and at the time I was really scared to claim what I had then imagined would be a three-parter. I had never thought I could ever outline something, much less pull together multiple arcs or incorporate themes. 

*laughs nervously* Technically, I still haven’t but I’m on my way. And, GTBM won’t be perfect when it’s all done but it’s so much fun. I love it. It’s my 2020 comfort puzzle. 

What are some facts readers may not know about Get To Be Mine?

I don’t know if this will truly surprise anyone but I am really loving exploring:

- Beth intentionally parenting and thinking through how to be closer to her children

- Beth’s friendship with Ruby, and her relationship with Annie

- Beth finding her footing in independence

- Beth building a new friendship with Marjorie, a legitimate cool person who is not part of the PTA crew/Beth’s old bubble. 

- Beth being pushed to think about her own grief from her childhood and her compartmentalization of her mother’s death through witnessing the Vandenberg siblings grieve their own mother who passed at a more natural time in life. 

- Beth low-key exploring more about her own pleasure aka masturbating in the peace and quiet of her new apartment. Hahahaha. I worry about her and how much stress I give her in my fics, and try to balance it with moments of respite, too. 

ANYWAY! Thanks, everyone for coming to my rant about Get To Be Mine. Always down to talk meta about it. 

[montygreen]

leila, talk to me about that opening scene in the 108 canon divergence fic. you know i have the emotions. you know i lost my mind over it. please tell me there's a reason behind it all! k thanks bye ✌️✌️✌️✌️

Hi Bhargavi!! I was gonna try and answer this before I watched my lectures and then, that didn’t happen, so I’m answering it now. But yes, I’m happy to talk about that fic!

I mean, I find it kind of funny that you, who have literally watched me write, of all people actually think my writing has meaning/reason lmaoo

I guess this is a fun fact, but initially, that scene was supposed to be the entire fic? And then, I decided I wanted them to kiss, and therefore I decided the fic needed to be longer and to cover a longer period of time for that to actually be plausible. Truly, the things I do so I can write Ben and Devi kissing ARE ridiculous, especially since you have watched me freak out about something not being physical enough or not being sweeping and romantic enough.

Another fun fact about that scene is that I wrote the beginning and the end (from where Ben ends up telling Devi how he feels about her) before I stitched the middle together by aggressively adding their banter, because their banter is honestly my favourite thing to write. I also went a little ham with the romantic tension in the latter part of the scene, because romantic tension is a hell of a lot of fun to write. 

In the past, you’ve expressed that you quite like the line “It doesn’t startle her the way it should, that she likes holding his hand, that she finds his grip steady and calming. She and Ben seem to be made for each other in all other ways, to be each other’s perfect rivals, to push each other’s buttons, and further to know which buttons to push. It makes sense that their hands might be made for each other too, designed to hold one another, fingers interlaced like two joined halves of a whole.” And, I’ll be super honest with you here, I’m not exactly sure what I was thinking when I wrote that? Only that I’m perpetually super emotional about Devi and Ben and their 10 years of history and the idea of them being these constants in one another’s lives, so I tried to draw a comparison between them working together, both in terms of the interconnectedness of their lives and then extended that for some good old hand holding, cause I know what tropes I love and I write them into my fics.

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut: Ask me for a commentary on any of the scenes in my fics

[catty-words]

not sure if i asked for this already, but for the dvd commentary meme: the passage from "a friend," starting from "I think we can drop the metaphor" to "She’s even in the middle of googling how to make bread—it’s surprisingly simple, really—when her phone rings."

mm good choice

She squeezes him closer. His responding grunt has her pressing her face even harder into his shoulder, trying to staunch her smile.

“Rebecca?”

“Right, right, right. So I’m at the egg store.”

i loved making the whole set-up of this fic a cozy tightrope for rebecca to walk. obviously, their physical draw toward each other has always been a great source of distraction for rebecca, so to have them snuggle while she tries to explain why she a) nearly gave into temptation and b) can’t give into temptation now because of what these distractions have meant to her in the past should fill the reader with a tension at the same time the snuggles are a shippy treat. because i like to have my cake and eat it too.

But what I really need to do is learn how to bake myself bread or make pasta from scratch or, I don’t know, glaze doughnuts.

in the silly egg metaphor, rebecca finding other foods to eat is obviously her looking for other things to sustain her emotionally. and my including glazing doughnuts is my own personal, didn’t-expect-anyone-else-to-pick-up-on-this nod to the fact that the gurls are in her life. she’s not baking them from scratch cause they’re already there, but she does need to spend more time on the relationships.....glazing them, if you will

“Don’t two thirds of those foods also require eggs?”

“Well, sure. Because I’m still going to want eggs in my life. They just can’t be the only thing I rely on to give me sustenance.”

love literal nathaniel over-analyzing the metaphor, and rebecca turning that around to, well, poke at the show not dealing with the fact that rebecca never actually leaned how to have romantic relationships in her life in a healthy way even though that’s gonna be an important part of her journey eventually

“And…Greg is the egg, right?”

Her stomach goes on an entire roller coaster ride between the thought that, no, Greg will probably never be eggs again—or at least not for a while

man, could you tell i was bitter about the direction of canon? let greg be free, it’s not healthy for him to hang around after this!!!

“So the other night—”

“I had not yet come to this conclusion,” she says, quick to hop in. “Or, I guess that’s not entirely true. Because I’ve come to this conclusion at least half a dozen times.”

this is also a little bit of a snipe at canon for walking back rebecca’s revelation in 4.07, “i know who i am now” and all that. but even with that said, i do love this aspect of rebecca’s journey. how she can come to conclusions and then not follow through, even knowing they’re the right conclusions to draw.

“So what stops you?” he asks. “You know, from learning how to bake bread.”

She feels a twinge in her chest. “I happen to know some really enticing eggs.”

i really am very proud of how ridiculous this metaphor is, but at the same time super apt in breaking down rebecca’s emotional state into easily understood moments like this.

“So I get to stay in the basket?”

“I’d like that.”

the moment nathaniel commits to the metaphor himself...

“Me, too. I think.”

...and how that gets him to really take what rebecca’s saying to heart. the added ‘i think’ is very important to the end of the fic

“It’s okay if that changes,” she assures him, her heart splintering a little to do so. “I know I can be a lot.”

in this version of events, rebecca just lost greg because of her insatiable need for eggs, and idk. this is just me sending my whole heart out to s4 rebecca, who screws up but ultimately is thinking about her people’s well-being as well as her own and all that means for her growth.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Roll over.”

and nathaniel’s definitely thinking more about rebecca’s well-being than his own in this moment, but because we all love rebecca, we’re okay with that.

“Was that really all it was—um, everything you said? Just raiding the…just raiding?”

as rebecca’s falling asleep, nathaniel’s processing what she’d said and his place in her life, so he’s gotta know where she stands on the stuff she said the other night.

“‘s a dangerous question,” she says.

“Deadly,” he agrees.

and she’s calling back to what he said earlier, about how opening the door to let her in was dangerous, and how discussing what happened after she was inside would be dangerous. they’ve both been playing with fire this whole time--for rebecca it’s the snuggling, for nathaniel it’s the hope that she’ll say something he can keep as proof that she still has feelings for him--and maybe it doesn’t count for much, but them taking this moment to acknowledge that is still Something.

“It’s never just, Nathaniel. Should know that by now. Never just.”

being evolved rebecca, she of course tells the truth, no matter how dangerous

Last night might not have been just about maturely touching base for me, as you helped me realize. I think I should take another few days before we see if there’s room for me in the basket.

In the meantime, you deserve a smorgasbord.

and i think the renewed hope he felt at hearing that she wasn’t just saying anything she could to get what she wanted -- that it wasn’t just about raiding the egg store -- was what finally made up nathaniel’s mind that space was necessary. but him wanting out of the basket for now has nothing to do with her forcing him out by being herself, and he uses that sign-off to tell her as much. the tenderness!

She sets the note aside, feeling unexpectedly buoyed.

it works of course. she feels how much he cares for her even when he’s asking for space -- kinda like their scene in the final episode where she tells him she’s not choosing one of the guys.

She’s even in the middle of googling how to make bread—it’s surprisingly simple, really—when her phone rings.

i like ending the commentary here because i like how this shows that she’s committed to actually doing something about her revelation this time. she’s already taken it a step further than normal and, having taken this step, it’s actually gonna be pretty simple for her to keep moving down this path.

[thefudge]

scattered thoughts on sanditon so far 

this is a fun romp from andrew davies and there’s a lot to like and be invested in

but i do have some observations/ gripes

obviously davies is going for a modern/sexed up adaptation of austen and i have mixed thoughts on that, cuz there’s a lot of interesting stuff you can do with that, but you can also botch it up big time (i’m glad he didn’t do this to p&p back in 1995...i wonder what that adaptation would’ve looked like today. probably full monty darcy, lol). so i think some elements verge on the ridiculous, for instance having almost every dude in this show strip naked in front of a crowded beach several times in a row. ditto for theo james. i don’t mind the view (hehe) but i think it’s inserted awkwardly at times. like okay, we get it, it’s a beach resort and we’re trying to make austen edgy in 2019.... just maybe indulge a little less and literally keep it in your pants. 

this being a more modern adaptation i don’t mind hair and make-up anachronisms, but i DO mind the fact that rose williams sports this really weird shade of fuchsia lipstick in almost every single scene. stop iiiit

speaking of which, rose williams is a cutie and i loved her on reign, but i don’t understand what she’s doing with her face in this series. don’t get me wrong, she does a good job of making charlotte very likable, but the only way she can express...anything, really, is by making these confused faces, like a child practicing frowning in the mirror. it’s...really awkward. and she does this all the time, whether she’s happy or sulky or nervous, she just always looks like she’s trying to figure out the fibonacci sequence.  i mean it’s hilarious when u have theo james going all gruff to her about his feelings and rose williams is that gif of the blond lady doing math in her head. her acting is pretty good otherwise, but those faceeeees.

esther denham is my goddamn FAVE, gosh i love a Disappointed Queen and i’m glad she’s getting away from that boring skeevy brother. for once the incestuous siblings didn’t do it for me at all (which is pretty much the point lol). there’s nary a dude more uninteresting than edward whatshisface, my gaaaawd (also, davies trying to ramp up the sexiness with those scenes of edward brushing her hair or doing her stays...lol, sir, this rly isn’t your strength i’m sorry)

but i have to say that i thought esther and clara would be a thing. because my gosh, the chemistry during their scenes! the way they’d glide past each other with utmost contempt, while being disquieted by each other @___@. i mean it’s an austen adaptation, so i guess they’d never go there but!!! i need fic (would’ve made clara more bearable at least. i appreciate her character objectively cuz she’s an interesting pseudo-antagonist and you don’t get many of those, but blerghh. she was insufferable)

i was kinda (actually very) disappointed that the relationship between sidney and his ward, georgiana, wasn’t really developed. like there’s one more episode to go (as far as i know?) and they’ve barely scratched the surface with them. i mean he’s halfway decent to her now.... but ehh. i feel like this was a missed opportunity. after all, this was austen’s unfinished novel, so andrew davies & co could have added more material between these two. this, to me, should have been the real heart of the series. 

i like otis as a character, but georgiana/otis was zzzzzz. i suppose that they’ll end up together? zzzzzzzzzz (i frankly ship her way more with arthur! she finds him infuriating! he’s a sweetheart! the shenanigans!)

that German doctor is the real MVP, i feel like he should be sanditon’s no. 1 bachelor. i mean the shower rod??? providing pleasure to all the ladies in town, what a hero 

the soundtrack is rly rad! and the cinematography

i love how the show captures austen’s growing interest in the industrialized modern world which was emerging in the twilight years of the regency and i feel like maybe the show should’ve invested more time in that modern aesthetic (steampunk!) rather the awkward sexual shenanigans 

so....i can’t delay the inevitable anymore, can i? sigghh okay here i go

sidney/charlotte...annoys me. 

HEAR ME OUT.

 u know that i love LOVE “enemies to lovers” and hate/love stories, i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. 

and i was ready to gorge on this dynamic because it looked delish 

 but i felt like michael bluth finding the dead pigeon in the paper bag. 

from what i can gather, sidney is supposed to be a mixture of darcy and capt wentworth, “haughty” and proud, with a history of romantic disappointment, a brooding sexy hero with a heart of gold. but to me this dude just comes off as weird. 

there’s legit no reason for him to be THIS mean to this young girl he just met. he is not just an asshole, he is ridiculously over the top about it, to the point where he makes a fool of himself. i am FINE with a man telling a woman off, believe me, but it has to have some kind of motivation, some kind of reasoning behind it. here, it just feels like the plot needs him to be utterly shitty to charlotte so that “sparks will fly”. that first ep convo on the balcony??? wtf???? it was genuinely bizarre. i got weird incel vibes. and every time he lashes out at charlotte (at least in the first 4 episodes) it’s fucking silly, because it’s not like he lashes out because she’s scratching the surface of his innermost painful memories. no!!! many of their arguments revolve around basic things that he could easily clarify!!! which he does eventually, so like whyyyyyyyyyy. charlotte keeps telling him he’s being vague for no good reason and he still does it. it doesn’t make sense he’d be this guarded and outspoken at the same time. like, fine, keep that shit to yourself, don’t tell ppl, but don’t also get pissed at them when they don’t guess your mind. again, i love an antagonist dynamic when it’s done right, but here many times it’s just pointless bullying, it’s not sexy or fun or challenging. the writers keep making charlotte apologize to him about how “wrong” she got him and how he makes her doubt her judgement but it sounds fake to me. like a) this dude went out of his way to be a total assface to you from day one, b) none of that bullying was him trying to coax you into having a more complicated view of the world. when darcy rebukes elizabeth, he is hinting at her limited point of view. he’s not blatantly negging her or calling her stupid as this dude does. AND U KNO WHAT.

i’d be absolutely fine with him calling her stupid IF IT MADE SENSE WITHIN THE STORY 

like if charlotte had truly done smth stupid during the first episode, sure, fine, it’s somewhat warranted 

but for him to decide she’s an idiot for no other reason than her making some honestly super nice remarks about his brothers when he asked for her opinion is THE HEIGHT OF NONSENSE 

it’s even more nonsense when 2 episodes later he decides maybe she’s not that dumb after all FUCK U MR. EDGELORD

and it makes me pity charlotte cuz she’ll probably marry this dude and have to deal with him in his old age when he’ll be even more insufferable. 

and i totally get the appeal. i do! i mean their scenes are manufactured to make you want more of them, i see the chemistry, it’s there (and we’re already at a point in the series where he’s trying to make amends) but at the same time i’m put off by this dude’s intensity, cuz it’s not the hot kind of intensity...it’s more like he’s a giant dumb baby who breaks things. meh. theo james is very pretty tho, and he is doing the most with his character (that voice def helps!). but i wish this antagonistic relationship had been written better, because it could’ve been glorious

this is why i think sidney/georgiana should’ve been so much more present. just like darcy has his georgiana we need the humanizing element, we need to see more variety from this dude than just “guy who clearly needs anger management classes”. 

i’m pretty sure i’m in the minority or possibly one of two ppl not won over by this romance, and i can’t lie and say i don’t root for them. too much of this show is predicated on their clashes for them not to work it out and get together, but boyyyy do i wish they’d done it a bit better

i almost feel like a reylo anti lol, but at least kylo ren doesn’t neg rey every single time they talk 

also, i go back to rose williams’ faces because they just rly enhance how clumsy this dynamic is. theo james is doing byronic asshole 2.0 and charlotte looks at him like he’s developed a smell lmao. i mean the scene where she catches him naked? she turns around and FROWNS in this rly bizarre way, almost like she noticed a growth on his dick lmao it’s that bad 

anyway i totally get the appeal, but i also know what i want from this kind of dynamic and...this ain’t quite it 

honestly i think i prefer charlotte/cute architect guy whose name i don’t remember right now! 

that being said, my fave moments of this show are the most austen-esque, where ppl don’t take themselves so seriously. i mean the adventures of the perennially-ailing parker siblings (arthur & diana)? deeeelightful. the pineapple scene? glorious

also it makes me sad that sanditon was left unfinished because to see austen tackling georgiana’s character in depth would have been so, so interesting 

in conclusion, the show’s a lot of fun but also frustrating in many ways

i hope davies doesn’t set his eyes on re-adapting p&p or other austen classics because ermmm i know i’m trash but i am kind of tired of these sexed-up “look how scandalous we are behind closed doors” adaptations. you can make the regency era feel modern and relatable without “shocking hand job in the estate park” pls and thank u. sure, the regency era was the inheritor of the sexually relaxed 18th-century, but it wasn’t that relaxed yall. ppl still kept their wits and bonnets about them.

still, i’m glad this show exists and that it tries to take risks, i just wish it took different kinds of risks, if that makes sense. like i am SO bummed i didn’t get into sidney/charlotte, u have no idea 

[army-author]

Oh. My. Gosh. Just finished Written On Our Veins and was that one of the best stories I've ever read or what? I'm still in tears! So marvelous! You are an exceptionally gifted writer-- gosh! I can't even fathom at how you put such a masterpiece together! It's divine.

Awwww :’) Thank you so so so much! I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed it! ‘Written On Our Veins’ was one of my favourite fics to write, so I’m really glad it brought you joy (and some tears too, sorry about that!) I’ll always hold this story close to my heart, and I’m glad that other people get to enjoy something I’ve created!

(I’ve answered your other messages under the ‘read more’ section, since there was a lot to reply to 💖)

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog said: I’m screaming! Red Faced was so precious and hilarious! “She knows too much.” Like, straight out of an action flick before the line, “She must be eliminated.” I’m dying from how wonderous this story was! Gosh, Christmas Hobi stories are literally my favorite. No joke. He is the epitome of Christmas, I swear. So I’m just going to go into my little shell here and squeal and die some more, don’t mind me. I love your stuff! Ah!

Asdfghjklll thank you once again! Seeing all this love in my inbox made me so so happy! I’m really glad you liked ‘Red Faced’. Christmas and Hobi really do go hand in hand, he’s just so filled with sunshine, he warms up all that December snow :’)))

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Metallic Snow was sooooo fluff and sweet, I think I got diabetes! I think I came across this story some time ago, but never got to finish it as it was probably one of the ones that was left on my page as I walked away for a day or so to go about my life and tumblr and my phone conspired to refresh my feed and just go back to my home… But anyway! I’m just so glad that I found it again! Fate brought me back. Lmfbo.

Aw, it makes me so happy to hear that you found ‘Metallic Snow’ again, and that you like it! It truly was fate!!!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: I’m crying. A Story Book Ending was marvelous! My heart can’t take just how perfect your rendition of The Nutcracker was, with some liberties, and a gaurded Hoseok. Like, my head is spinning and my heart is in a flurry of emotions. I’m still reeling from the magic you wrote into the story– your own. Phenomenal! You’d better bet your butter balled butt that I’ll be reading the rest of your Hoseok works, even if it kills me! Heartache and all. Lol. Because that’s just what great Hobi stories do.

Ahhhh thank you :’’’’) Man, your comments are all so nice, and kind, and I’m crying over here, reading through all this! It makes me so ridiculously happy that my writing can have this kind of effect on you! I really loved writing ‘A Story Book Ending’, the nutcracker story is fun to re-write because of the magic and fantasy of it all! I’m so happy that I was able to capture some of that in my own writing!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: I’M CRYING. Soulmates or Strangers was so sweet, sugary and fluffy that I am fanning my cheeks and clenching my poor, bitter, lonely little heart! That ending had my heart in my throat, swelling to three times it’s size, leaving me gasping–choking–for anything to alleviate the bittersweet ache in my heart that I self-deprecatingly crave. I’m a mess. I’m a puddle of mush– a blob of goo left behind by your sugary tales of romanticism. And what is this pistachio latte and where can I find one?!

Aw man! Thank you so much! This message is so sweet as well, you’ve left me clutching my heart, overcome with love! I’m so happy my writing can have this effect, because as a writer, it’s my goal to stir up all these emotions in my readers! :’) Thank you so so much for your kind words!

(Also, pistachio lattes are so so good!!! There’s a small Itallian cafe in the city I study in, and it sells these lattes, and they are just… so delicious!)

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Give Me Sunshine left me feeling so warm and fuzzy! Thank you for writing such sweet little pieces! (Even though it’s the sweet fluff that hurts the most, so I’m left with some residual nausea as well. Don’t ask me why– I’m a wreck. Don’t look at me.) But all because you’re such a fantastic writer and I have loved everything I’ve read of yours so far! I’ve come away smiling like a fruit loop and that’s because of you– so thank you! And Hoseok. But the Hoseok that you write, so it’s all you lol

Aw man, ‘Give Me Sunshine’ was one of the first fics I wrote for this blog! I’m glad it’s still getting love even now! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! :’) It makes my day to know I made someone else smile!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: I am sufficiently crying now. Like, my head is grating, stomach in knots, bile rising, throat constricting… Sorry, Mama was remarkably written and well drafted, as all the other works of yours that I’ve read, but something about this angst had me feeling like I was being personally attacked, and yet– not. Lol. I know I wasn’t. Like, it hit so close to home on some things, and then shot way out into left field in the same moment. Anyway, phenomenal use of writing to the readers subconscious’.

I think ‘Sorry, Mama’ is still one of the saddest fics I’ve written, even though I’ve written fics where worse things happen. It was quite a personal story for me, which is probably why it’s so filled with emotion. Anyway, I’m so sorry that I made you cry, but I guess I’m also glad my writing was powerful enough to get that reaction?

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Just read Anniversary (Hoseok’s Scenario) and that’s literally just what I needed after reading that pile of steaming angst that had me up to the bathtub’s brim in salty tears. Lol. Anyway. This was so precious and sugary sweet! I loved it. Always!

Aw yay! I’m glad I was able to repair the damage after ‘Sorry, Mama’!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: BAHYE SATAN!! White Chocolate Chip Cookie has so many emotions stirring up inside of me for only having 400 words and I can’t handle this! Don’t look at me. I love white chocolate chip cookies, and cuddles, and warm blankets and hot chocolate and– GIXKYDKHU. NO. NO NO NONONO. *cries in the club* Why must you torment my heart, so? I know it’s my own fault for reading the cavity-inducing fluff, but when you put it out there, and it’s so phenomenal– I CAN’T RESIST THE TEMPTATION! You are satan.

I love cookies and cuddles and warm blankets and hot chocolate too! Which is why I loved writing this fic so much :’))) I’m so sorry for putting the temptation there for you, heheh!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: But you’re also an angel. >.

I’m conflicted too! Am I an angel? Or a devil? You’re giving me very mixed signals haha! But no, sorry to disappoint, I’m not a Korean man! I’m just a girl with a lot of stories in her head :’)

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Oh my gosh. Okay, you really need to stop. (But please don’t.) Kissing Santa was so freaking precious and my stomach is in knots and I am dying on the inside and– NO. Just– no. Lmbo. The whole scene was just perfect, my heart is overflowing in warmth and cotton candy and sugar plums and I just want to cry into hot chocolate by a fireplace wrapped in a blanket. You are too marvelous at this!

Ahhh I’m glad you liked it! I have a soft spot for domestic family aus, so ‘Kissing Santa’ was a lot of fun for me! Thank you so much for all the compliments, I’m blushingggggg!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: The Nutcracker was remarkable; phenomenal; splendiferous! I love Christmas so much, and along with it The Nutcracker, especially Tchaikovsky’s musical suites composed for the theatrical/ballet adaptation. I just love how you refer to Hoseok as the Nutcracker, himself, making it all the more romantic and enchanting. I know the Christmas season has passed, but I honestly would celebrate Christmas all year round, just for the feeling and tidings it brings. But, then it would become dismal.. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I love Christmas so much too! Especially the build up to it, it never fails to stir up all these happy and nostalgic feelings for me! And yeah, Tchaikovsky’s music for the ballet is so nice, I like to listen to it when I’m writing! :’) I’m so glad you enjoyed this story!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Ecstasy is For… was brilliant; magnanimous. One in a million. Wh-what? I’m not crying! You’re crying! I should really stop. I’m getting too deep! Lmbo. My emotions are clouding my judgements and now reality is mixing with fantasy! Who is what and what is why?! Just kidding. No, but seriously, your work is truly remarkable. I adore everything I’ve read, even if I wind up crying like a messy toddler. Lol.

asdfghkllll I can’t handle all these compliments, my heart is going to explode!!! :’’’))) Thank you so much!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Uuugggghhhhhh. Lucky Black Cat is so precious and cute and I want cuddles and coffee. Lmfbo. Everything about it was to die for! My poor little heart is putty in your writer’s hands.

‘Lucky Black Cat’ was a lot of fun to write! I love supernatural/ witch aus, and adding a barista au on top of that is just perfect. I’m glad you enjoyed it, that makes me super happy!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: Oh my God. Growing Pains is so fluff and precious and hilarious and I just CAN’T with how fabulous it all is. That freaking ghost. Lmfbo. There’s some show or book where this old ghost haunts a dorm (or was it simply a house? Idk) but he was a funny old guy who liked to tease the couple, but was also a pervert, so he liked “to watch”, but they’d usually catch him and yell at him to get out. I wish I could remember! Lmbo. Anyway, that’s kinda how I picture this guy.

Oh my gosh, that old ghost sounds so funny! I’m laughing at you imagining the ghost in ‘Growing Pains’ that way! I mean, when I was writing it, I was more imaging the ghost as being well meaning, and wanting to get two hapless souls together, but this interpretation is way funnier!!!

@folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog​ said: UUUUGGGHHHHAAAA…! Silence to My Noise. Just. Ugh! So cute. I mean. I can’t. Oh God. My heart! The flutters!

And MY HEART is fluttering from all the love you’ve sent into my inbox! I’m crying from all of your kind messages! I really appreciate all of them! They brightened up my day, and I’m really grateful for the time that you took out of your day to read all those stories, and to tell me what you thought of them! It fills me with joy to know my stories can have these kinds of effects, and it’s inspiring me to write all the more! Thank you so so much! I can’t quite express how happy all of this made me, just know I’m smiling like crazy right now!

[fanfictionlive]

Should I add romance to get more views

So I have this DC fanfic with an OC that's an ex-Special Operations super soldier from the Iraq war. It's an action thriller set in Gotham revolving around a plot in which Black Mask is turning Gotham into a trading port for international criminal organizations. My OC is intended to be a vigilante called Hunter Killer who wants to break up the power of criminal organizations. But his rules of engagement are based off of the rules he played by in the Iraq war so he's not quite punisher since he's not trying to kill everyone but rather take out key personnel. This is obviously a source of conflict with Batman. And then I have Red Hood in the middle trying to sort out for himself what's the right way to go about things. Anyways it's undergoing a division a very tough revision since it got almost no views but I really enjoyed it. So there's also a lack of helpful reviews making this a very personal endeavor.

I have noticed OC stories in DC and stories in general that feature romance do better than those without. So one thing I am considering introducing a romance element into the story. Now it should be noted I've never written and posted romance. My work is really oriented around a plot that revolves around themes of war or constantly begging the question where is the line drawn in the pursuit of justice, do the ends justify the means, or some other statement on society. And usually, I won't give a flat out answer and leave it up to the reader. But I feel doing that is pointless if it's not drawing in readers.

So that leads me to conclude I've got to include a romantic side plot to draw people in. And maybe it lightens the mood up between intense scenes as well. So far here's what I've considered from that. Either Red Hood and Artemis as the side plot since the setting is based on the early days of the Red Hood rebirth run. But there are differences with elements drawn from all sorts of continuities with my Batman based off the Dark Knight trilogies take. I was also thinking of my character with Huntress or adding Katana in since those are vigilantes who lean closer to his side of the moral spectrum. However, I've read a lot of fics with OCs paired with characters and a lot of them I will say I find ridiculous. Without bashing I'll just say it just feels like the main characters often have everything going for them and are just kind of put into these pairings with justification for why it works. Or it's very sexualized. And honestly, I'm pretty sure any sexual activity at all in the story would draw too much attention away for the main point. However, I feel that may be expected with an M rating even though it's M for everything but sexual activity. So OC pairings with in-universe characters have a bad taste in my mouth.

Or should I do both romantic side plots. Could this possibly draw in a bigger crowd?

But calling out to people who either read or write romance plots. What are things to avoid and do? Things you dread seeing and things you quite enjoy. And while still not distracting too much from the central plot I already have going. Because while I would be incorporating this into the story the main plot about the ethics of vigilantism and what means are necessary is still the most important part of this work. Also, a final question are there those who think I shouldn't include any form of a romantic side plot and keep it action-centric and look for another outlet where viewers are more likely to read that.

submitted by /u/NotTheFifthBeetle [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans http://bit.ly/2ZZTRIs

[ziamfanfiction]

this week’s ziam ao3 feed

Hey y’all! welcome to the ao3 feed, this week we had some good updated works and new fics so go read them and remember to leave kudos and comments! Stay tune for next sunday for a new edition of the ao3 feed! :*

fics updated/posted from April 16th to the 22nd

A Growing Dysfunctional Family by the_less_i_know (wip)

I don't really know how to summarize this... but at its most basic the story is set in a world where humans and supernatural beings exist, except that humans of course are unaware of the supernatural world. It's a messy story where Liam and Zayn fall in love, but it's not solely focused on their relationship. This means that if you're just expecting to read about ziam only, then this story probably isn't for you. This story is not just about romantic love, but about friendship and family love too. It starts out with Normani, Zayn, and Louis, who kind of set the tone of the story and it all develops from there. Dinah is 27, Louis is 26, Zayn is 25, and Normani is 20. Liam and Niall are 23. Ally, Harry, and Lauren don't have any concrete ages so yeah.

Beauty Of Life by Larry_tattoos (wip)

"Look who we have here, the nerd of the school", I didn't need to turn around to see the face of the person mocking me cause i already knew him by just hearing his voice.

I wasn't even a nerd, the fact that i top my math class doesn't make me a nerd, I don't wear glasses, i don't wear funny looking shoes, i don't wear braces, i don't wear acne with pants up to my waist but in Zayn Malik's eyes i'm one.

I pretend to arrange my books in my satchel just not to have an eye contact with him, the truth was he terrified me. I could not imagine a day that i would not shiver just hearing his name.

"Wha- what do you wa- nt?", Him and his arrogant friends saw me struggle to form the words and i could hear them giggle.

Or

Being bullied by the love of his life is not the worst pain for Liam, the worst pain is he has no way of erasing the love he feels.

So he let's destiny take his course until its gets too much and he is caught between letting the love go or holding onto it.

But what happens when the love of his life aka his bully starts to care?

Twelve Fic Outtakes/Deleted Scenes by watyonameisgurl (wip)

Pretty much exactly what the title says and what I've hinted at in numerous end notes of the main fic for like forever - a collection of outtakes/deleted scenes (and possibly even some eventual alternate scenarios if I feel up to exploring that) from the Twelve fic verse

[DO NOT READ if you haven't finished the first fic in the verse yet]

Part 3 of Twelve Verse

Intoxicate Me, Mesmerize Me, Obliterate Me by eternallyunleashed (wip)

There was a certain heat obtained from rebellion that even the actual throes of heat never sparked. Keeping up an image of perfection; being the good kid, the perfect son to the Mayor and Chief of Police, the city of Lincoln’s sweetheart omega, it was all taxing to Zayn. Walking the thin line of danger was exhilarating. Was it coincidental that this danger happened to be an attraction to a certain alpha who was none other than the leader of the South Side Vipers gang, who seemed to despise him and the part of town he came from? Probably not. But when had anything ever stopped Zayn?

Within You Without You by PersephoneJones (wip)

Liam started to swipe up to unlock his phone, and then paused, thumb hovering over the screen. He’d been angry at Zayn for a very long time. Probably still was, to be honest. It wasn’t even about him leaving the band. It was that Zayn hadn’t just walked away from his job. He’d walked away from their friendship. Five years of togetherness and camaraderie, and what Liam (and just about everyone else) had thought was a special bond.

Or, the one where Zayn dipped out, sank the Ziam ship, and didn't even bother to call. Can Liam forgive him? Does he want to? And just why have the two of them always been so cuddly with each other, anyway?

dRuNk/Like I Would/Let Me/Dusk Till Dawn by watyonameisgurl

“Happy birthday, I guess,” Zayn says, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice at the fact that this is his third call and Liam still hasn’t answered. At the fact that he’s with her. At a party that Zayn wasn’t invited to...

Or: A series of drabbles based on the themes of the aforementioned songs…basically my headcanons for the moments that inspired these songs (these aren’t songfics though)

Two Point 0 by watyonameisgurl (wip)

“Because healing is messy and ugly and slow and doesn’t just happen in a progressive line. Sometimes...sometimes it’s gonna feel like you’re going backwards or sideways or every direction but forward, and you might not ever feel the same as you were, you might always be different from the person you used to be, but sometimes that’s okay...”

Zayn looks out at the sea of faces staring back at him, fights down the anxiety still threatening to overwhelm him even though he’s almost through now. He’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but there’s so many of them, looking to him. And seeing all of them here, now, in front him—even if it still isn’t all of them—is a bit overwhelming. As he looks around though he catches sight of Liam in the sea of faces, smiling proudly, and that’s all it takes. He can already feel himself relaxing, powering through the last of what he wants and needs to say. Counting down the moments until he’s back by Liam’s side again, safe and sound and that’s what gets him through.

[Or: Zayn keeps healing, Liam does too. But it’s not easy when there are so many forces still so determined not to let them. And fighting them alone is one thing. But the problem is it’s not just Zayn's fight anymore.]

Part 2 of Twelve Verse

All the different kinds of flowers by Androgyne, ZoeRavenclaw28 (wip)

When Liam, the future Tsars right-hand man, meets Zayn, the son of an Emir, his world turns upside-down.

A story about late-night chess games, scents, herbs, and so so many flowers.

Part 2 of All The Different Kinds Of Flowers

Baby I'll Never Leave You (If You Keep Holding Me This Way) by CrazyMofos (wip)

It was 2015 I am Liam

The King Of Queens by LHSHIP (wip)

Zayn was just like every other fangirl, except he was a boy. To be exact, the only boy in a girls’ only world, the Liam Payne fandom. His internet friends - all girls of course - thought he should be referred to as "The King Of Queens" apparently being the only boy who openly drooled over singer Liam Payne. And he liked it, not only because it was his dad’s favorite TV show but also because he'd always called all of his girls “queens” to make them feel special.

So yes, he was one of those totally obsessed fans who basically spent all of their time on Twitter because of a super famous and successful celebrity who didn’t even know about their existence. And sometimes Zayn had to deal with his real life and real problems such as the upcoming class reunion and a missing date.

And maybe he was a just a tiny little bit of in love with Liam Payne...

Half Of The Stories by CamelotHarris (wip)

'Half Of The Stories'from Louis' Just Like You. These stories are about after Zayn left One Direction, five boys' life and what will they think of something about themselves . In the story there are part of the content is real. And will repeat some events about them . Now they are going through a lot of things, so I don't know when to end it.

iT's YoU by SpookyFaces (wip)

Popular, handsome and athletic Liam Payne has nothing in common with Zayn Malik, the bad-boy of the school, who wears leather jackets, combat boots and spends his lunch breaks with a cigarette and a sketchbook in his hands. There is something mysterious, something strange about him. Rumors say the half of his family has tragically died a few years ago. And there is something tragic about him. The way he walks alone in the hallways, the way he barely talks to anyone, except his stupid, curly friend.

Liam hates him. He hates his honey-colored eyes, his stupidly long eyelashes, his unbelievably long fingers, his raven-black hair and mesmerizing lips.

Yeah, he obviously hates him.

"Obviously" - Louis agrees, wiggling his eyebrows.

I remember every look upon your face by cpiklor (wip)

Zayn thought his summer break was going to be his most boring one yet - his new job was working him to levels he'd never experienced prior, which meant he rarely had free time away from the greasy deli kitchen to mentally prepare himself for his upcoming second year in college.

Until the deli got a new employee. Liam.

Liam was one of the hardest-working employees in the grocery store, Zayn could tell already. He listened intently to every instruction he was given, and nearly perfected everything - whether it be breading chicken, slicing cheese, or just chatting up the customers during lulls.

Liam was beautiful in every sense of the word - golden-brown hair with deep brown eyes, tall, slim, and fuck, he was toned. His biceps were noticeable even through their chunky cloth work shirts. He was ridiculously kind and hilarious, too. Everything made him laugh, and Zayn had yet to witness him in a bad mood.

The complete opposite of Liam, Zayn was broody and shy, with black hair, olive and a love for quiet spaces. He had a killer bitch face, which made him less approachable, and no wonder Liam wasn't sure about him. He could do better than someone like Zayn.

Zayn was fucked.

Beyond Words by StoryAnonGuy33 (wip)

"Some things are beyond words" Liam added lightly, Zayn laying back down on Liam's chest. "They are, aren't they?" He commented back, Liam smiling and kissing the top of his head. "You bet babe"

Or when Liam and Zayn attend the same college and with budding and cemented feelings between the two, will things turn out the way they want?

[shadowsong26x]

TLJ Reaction Post!

Putting everything behind a cut just in case, to avoid spoilers. Also, any TLJ-related posts I either write or reblog will be tagged as listed here.

Feel free to reply/reblog/ask/whatever if you want to discuss!

So, that was an experience.

First, quick reaction--while I was watching it, it was overall engaging/good. I had some issues even in the moment, but most of what I’m going to write up here was of the fridge logic variety?

Things I liked:

- Leia getting a STRAIGHT-UP ACTUAL JEDI MOMENT. Yes, I am talking about her flying through space like Mary Poppins and yes it was ridiculous but again it was a Jedi Moment sooooooooo there it is.

- All of the combat scenes/lightsaber duels in particular were really well put together. The throne room duel (which I’ll talk about that whole scene in some detail later), Finn vs. Phasma, Astral Projection Luke vs Kylo Ren (side note: I had seen a poster or clip or something before this, and I was Very Annoyed that Luke’s lightsaber was blue pretty much for the same reason I get irrationally irritated when Padme is tagged/drawn in the Gothic Peacock dress and the fact that elbows don’t grow back oh my god--minor continuity details that make a difference but don’t really matter in the long run; but the fact that Luke chose to project himself with the Heirloom Lightsaber(tm) that blew up ten minutes ago made that make sense and was delightful in hindsight) the space combat--the red dust on Crait, though, so cool the way it did visual things.

- Pretty much everything to do with Finn and Rose’s plotline (except I was sad that there was no Lando cameo at Canto Bight)

- Most of the stuff with Amilyn I liked a lot too. Especially her flipping badass Last Stand. (I also liked the fact that the bulk of high command was women, and they made a point of showing off all the lady piliots)

- Luke and Leia’s reunion moment made me bawl in a very good way. (Side note: I’m pretty sure she knew all along he was Astral Projection Luke. In part because how else could he have gotten there, in part because, as my friend who I went to see it with pointed out, he projected himself exactly as he would have been the last time she saw him. Also the much shorter and darker hair which I feel is very impractical to manage in an X-wing cockpit)

- That little kid on Canto Bight. Oh, that little kid on Canto Bight, who reminded me so much of TPM!Anakin I can’t even. (There’s a whole potential Thing here, that my friend pointed out to me, re: Light/Dark/Balance a la Daughter/Son/Father from Mortis where we might be going for Kylo as Dark, Rey as Balance, Tiny as Light? I’m not sure if I actually want the story to go there or not but it’s at least interesting as a vague concept!)

- I love Poe. Just...Poe was delightful in this film, as he figures out exactly how Being In Command works, his relationship with Leia, his back-and-forth with Amilyn...

- I liked that the bridge/whatever between Rey and Kylo was clearly set up to parallel Luke and Leia, rather than anything romantic--to the point where Luke and Leia had a Twin Moment that then immediately cut to one of the shared dreams and that can’t have been an accident.

- There was a lot of really great dialogue in this film. Just in general. “Do you think you got him.” “I don’t think they like me very much.”/”I can’t imagine why.” “What are you looking at me for? Follow him!” Leia and Amilyn’s goodbye (which, side note--I read the Leia novel, and I definitely thought she and Amilyn had more chemistry than she and Kier did, also there’s a...something percolating in the back of my brain about Kier and Lando and the similar choices they made when their people were in danger and they felt their backs were against the wall, and what that might mean in terms of added context for Leia’s choices/actions in ESB, but that is a topic for a different post)

- While this was not the Force Ghost(s) I was looking for, I enjoyed Yoda’s appearance a whole heck of a lot.

- Rey and Poe finally actually met! And it was a very nice meeting!

- The fact that, once again, the last intelligible dialogue in the film went to Leia (because Tiny was speaking in another language)

Things I am neutral about but I feel bear mentioning:

- The reveal(?) about Rey’s parentage--I’m not sure whether or not Kylo Ren was lying, but I’m honestly okay with it either way. I mean, I’ve been on team Rey Kenobi, so to speak, from the beginning [partly because I think it makes a more interesting narrative than Rey Skywalker; partly because Obi-Wan’s line of descent, if he has one (and, whether it comes from Korkie and Satine or not, I think it could be credibly written that he does)...it makes much more sense that it would be lost the way Rey’s backstory establishes than either of Luke or Leia’s children being lost. And the potential alternatives (i.e., Shmi having had a child before Anakin and they were sold separately or something, or Anakin’s DNA being used to sire another child because Reasons, would require a lot more setup than we’ve got); also I kind of like the idea of Finn Skywalker though that ship has probably sailed]. Where was I...anyway, while I prefer that story, I don’t actually dislike any of the potential theories (except the reincarnation one). And Rey Nobody (I think is what it was called?) has its own appeal, definitely. So...I guess my reaction to that is a nonreaction? Especially since I can’t make up my mind whether or not it’s true...

- I wasn’t super invested in any shipping in this trilogy, but honestly as far as I’m concerned we now have a third possible endgame pairing for Finn and I like all three. (I’d rather not discuss this particular point in overmuch detail, because as I said I’m not super invested in any ST ships and I know a lot of people are and I’d rather not get argued at on the subject).

- I have no idea how I feel about the Heirloom Lightsaber(tm) being destroyed? But the crystal seemed to be intact sooooooo we’ll see.

- Snoke’s ridiculous golden bathrobe???????

Things I liked less:

- I’m not thrilled with how Luke was written. Like...I can make it make sense. I can draw the roadmap in my brain of how we got from the Luke I know and love to the Luke we saw in this movie (including in the flashback) but it takes a lot of backhacking, so to speak. Honestly, if I ever get this far in a canon-aligned fic timeline, I would definitely go in a different direction (frex, if Masks ever comes back off hiatus and I get to Martyrs, which is the third part of that AU and is set in this timeframe, it would no longer be an In Spite Of A Nail AU from here).

(This sort of ties into...look, if I was going to assign a cardinal narrative sin to each of the trilogies (looking only at how the story is structured here), the PT has pacing issues, the OT was made up as it went along and it shows in several points; but the ST? The ST relies way too much on It’s All There In The Manual. I’ve read some of the Manual, but not all of it, because I mostly hang out in the PT corner of the fandom, but it was an issue in TFA and it was an issue again in TLJ. Amilyn and Leia, I think, suffered from this the most, but Luke’s headspace probably did, too.)

- I’m not super thrilled with the fact that we got introduced to a lot of interesting new characters, and almost all of them just...died. And I kept looking for familiar faces from TFA in the background of the Resistance and...yeah, they weren’t there.

- This is...this is maybe not going to come off as super articulate when I try to explain myself, but it actually bothers me a lot. And that’s that...there’s...there’s no...

Look. To me, above all things, Star Wars is about Redemption. It is about finding the spark of light in the darkness, and fanning it into a flame. And I say this even as someone who primarily hangs out in the PT part of fandom, which is in some ways structured as the opposite (i.e., find the speck of darkness in the light and feed it until it consumes all). Because it’s still there at the end. We still have that spark--in the twins, and in their guardians--and we are nurturing it until it is ready to burst into a proper flame and it also set up Anakin’s motivations in a way that led to/added to the credibility/impact of the eventual redemption arc. (Like I said, I’m not sure I can articulate this well, but it’s a Thing, okay?) And, yes, I get that the ST is coming at this find-the-light-in-the-dark theme from a different angle which is fine, I guess, I just...I just...

There is no antagonist (who has been at all developed) who is redeemable at this point.

Like--I didn’t really care about Kylo Ren as Kylo Ren. I cared about his (potential and now thwarted) redemption arc because see above about how that’s what Star Wars is to me. And where we left off at the end of TFA, he could still credibly be redeemed. And now, even without all the explicit ROTJ parallels (up to and including straight-up quoted dialogue), that door is closed. A redemption arc for him from here would not be credible.

And no one else in the First Order is developed enough for it, except maybe Hux, who also has credibility issues (to draw a comparison, that would be like trying to write a redemption arc for Tarkin, aka essentially impossible without an AU breakpoint when he was like twelve or younger at which point it’s not a redemption arc it’s a completely different story.) Phasma (assuming she isn’t actually dead, which I think she’s not but ehhh she might be) isn’t developed enough. No one else in the First Order who’s still alive has an on-screen not-All-There-In-The-Manual name, so it wouldn’t have the necessary emotional/narrative payoff.

And that’s...that’s...I don’t like it. I really don’t like it. I mean...it actually weirdly bothers me less than I thought it would, when I was trying to talk about this a year or so ago? I have no idea why, because like I thought that would be something that would make me completely break away at least from the ST era/corner of the fandom. And yet it’s not. But it’s still...Star Wars has always sold itself as straight up Good Vs Evil, but has had that...coming home. Or something? Like I said, not sure I’m too articulate about it. But I don’t like that this happened the way it did.

And also, just...like, think about what it would have been if they had just gone ahead and played the ROTJ aspects straight. If Ben Solo had come home, the way Anakin Skywalker did--without dying. We would get the story we never got with Vaderkin, of clawing his way back and atoning and making amends. We barely even got it with Ventress (side note: there’s a Thing in the back of my head that I’m not sure I can get out in any articulate way about the parallels between Anakin and Ventress because man.) (Also I think there might be a plot like this in Rebels, but I haven’t seen it yet so IDK for sure.)

Sigh. I don’t know. I think we’re going to get an interesting story about the way things did go, which may be part of why I’m less upset than I thought I would be. But I am upset.

(Side note: I do think that Snoke’s death was really well-put-together/well-played. I genuinely didn’t see it coming until the Heirloom Lightsaber started turning. Like...I pretty much figured that it wasn’t going to go how either Rey or Kylo saw it, because (even before Snoke said he made the bridge between them) I pretty much figured they’d both seen what they wanted to see/their ideal ending for the confrontation, so I knew it would be some kind of third option, but I did not expect the one we got and the way it was presented/approached was extremely effective; I just have serious, serious issues with where it went from there).

- I wish there had been more Leia. And Maz. And Phasma.

- I wish it had done more to expand on/develop the relationships/answer the questions/etc. established by TFA. In some ways, it feels more like “this is a series of events that happened in the wake of that,” rather than a continuation? This was mostly a problem with Poe’s storyline--Rey’s did okay at that, though if the backstory reveal was true it was a little disappointingly presented and if it’s not it didn’t resolve enough; and Finn’s did reasonably well. (Also, there were supposed to be Knights of Ren???? Were these the students that Kylo Ren left with after burning Luke’s Temple? What happened to them? Were those the people he and Rey killed in the throne room?????)

- On a much pettier note--what the fuck even was up with the timeline???? HOW SHORT ARE THE DAYS ON AHCH-TO? WHAT ABOUT FREAKING TRAVEL TIME--FTL TRAVEL IN THIS UNIVERSE IS NOT INSTANTANEOUS AND THAT IS EXPLICITLY REFERENCED IN THIS VERY FILM. Congratulations, Star Wars, you now have a film with a timeline that makes even less sense than ESB. [ROTS doesn’t, either, although that one’s more a question of ‘exactly how long is it between the Invisible Hand and Utapau because I don’t buy the ‘less than two weeks’ from the novel, but beyond that it could be anywhere from like a month to like three or four...but that makes sense, it’s just unclear.)

And, because I like to end on a positive note--there’s a lot I do genuinely enjoy/like/even love about this movie. Is it my favorite? Probably not; I don’t know exactly where I’d rank it, but probably in the Bottom Tier (I have sort of three tiers in terms of ‘Which Of These Puppies Licking My Face Am I Most Likely To Take Home If I Can Only Have One’ and they fluctuate a fair amount other than ESB, AOTC, and ROTS are consistently in the top tier). But there’s enough about it that I liked that I’m going to see it again, and while the things I disliked were for the most part serious issues, they weren’t enough to make me want to avoid the film itself. I’m hoping the next movie answers some more things, I’m hoping Phasma and Baby Canto Bight Jedi come back, I’m looking forward to Force Ghost Luke (and maybe the others fingers crossed).