#Also pov you are the joker terrorising your goons in a warehouse completely unaware the two people batman would ever let kill you

[phoenixcatch7]

This is one world where the Joker dies. The Joker sees LBH walking around and thinks it a good idea to kidnap and/ or murder Bruce Wayne’s husband as a joke. LBH, remembering all SQQ’s rants about how he fucking HATES the Joker and wants to kill him so bad, but can’t because he’s not allowed to, goes 😈😈😈. LBH is sure that his husband will appreciate getting the Joker’s head in a box as a present. Jason can have the rest of the corpse.

Ahhhh your read my mind! Batman is contractually obliged (read: forbidden by the system on pain of punishment protocol and/or a true death) not to kill, but that doesn't stop the ancient demon Empress scholar warrior from having Opinions™ on who should frankly kick the bucket. His husband has slaughtered clans over less than what Scarecrow has done.

Another idea though: lbh wouldn't wait for the joker to kidnap him. He sees Bruce's tight expression when talking (infodumping) about Gotham, he sees the way the children glance at Jason whenever they hear his name, he sees how his husband scowls helplessly whenever the topic of future breakouts comes up.

He'd go out and find him.

"Binghe?"

"Shizun?" he asks, just to confirm it's his husband on the other end of the line. Even weeks after they were reunited, it's wonderful to hear Shen qingqiu's new voice. It always is.

"Where are you? You're normally back by this hour. Gotham is dangerous at this hour, come home."

"Shizun..." Usually, at the first sign of being wanted back luo Binghe would be dropping everything and running. Not tonight. He's finally found what he's seeking. "Forgive this tardy husband, but I will be a little longer. There is something I've been looking for."

"Looking for?" shen qingqiu echoes, and he waits while his clever husband's mind works. If shizun truly wanted him to stop and leave well enough alone, he'd tell him, but luo Binghe thinks that this time that won't be the case. "Looking for what, Binghe?"

"I found something peculiar the other day, and given how much shizun cares about his city, this one thought it would be best to ensure it wasn't dirtying up the streets. It's making quite the joke of itself."

He heard the sharp inhale on the other side. He waited. Then, softly;

"Ah," shen qingqiu breathed. "Well then, dear husband, be sure you don't get lost wandering the city. It's quite dangerous. In fact, I feel it might be better if I sent Jason along with you. Just to make sure you're safe. He's been positively desperate to get out."

Oh.

Of course, their second eldest. The one the joker had brutally killed. The one whose death still gave his too kind husband nightmares.

Well, luo Binghe knew the rules.

Everything that has happened in the past, we'll repay it to you today.

A thousand fold.