#Also loving it for Philippa and her hubbie

[fuckwhoeverpickedallthefunnyurls]

Watching Bridgerton S3 Episode 3 after that insane ending of the previous episode 🥰

[elfpuddle]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by @charmandersims, for whom I’m very grateful!!

Favourite Colour? Blue-teal...that sea greeny blue lovely brightness that those without words can’t decide if it’s blue or green.

Currently Reading? (I’m so glad reading more than one book is fine!) I’m re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix whilst I babysit my nieces during their big sister’s HS football game (niece the eldest is in the band, and her parents are footballaholics). I’m also reading four books on my kindle and have two more by my reading chair. Of these, the one I’m most anxious to get to is The Rightful Queen.

Last Song You Listened To?  Bits of the soundtrack of “The Man of La Mancha have been running through my head for about a week, thanks to my name-picking for Philippa and Dante. :)

Last Series You Watched? Hubby TMC and I are midway through Season 2 of “The Expanse”, and liking it a lot.

Sweet, spicy or savoury?  All of the above, with minimal sweetness. I like candy corn, but usually pick something savory for a snack. (My favorite food is carb+gravy or meat+carb. My sweet tooth is very small.)

Craving?  Meatloaf. Specifically, a leftover-meatloaf sandwich.

Tea or Coffee? Tea--I cannot stand the smell of coffee, and the taste is worse!!

Currently working on? Robin River, healing my feet without taking calcium, and taking care of my compadres.

I’m tagging @valiantlydecadentsuit and @roguebotanist. If you want to be tagged, let me know and I’ll add you, or you can just tag me and say I did it.

[heartofstanding]

I’m over 100 pages into The King’s Concubine and:

Alice Perrers is about to bone Edward III

Alice is basically very hard-done-by. She’s an orphan who was abandoned in a nunnery and the nuns are all horrible people who beat her

(I have the sneaking suspicion that O’Brien is going to give Alice an outlandish parentage and be like “Isabella of France and Roger Mortimer’s love child! Secret incest!”)

one time Joan of Kent came to visit her and was horribly nasty to her so Alice is all “Joan the Fair! Joan the Fat!” 

and then she’s sent off to marry Jamyn Perrers who has a nasty sister who treats Alice like a slave and strips the household when Jamyn dies from the plague that only Alice nursed him through and Alice is forced to go back to the nunnery

also for some reasons, never clarified beyond “he didn’t want to marry, he just wanted to stop his sister from nagging him”, Jamyn doesn’t consummate the marriage 

but don’t worry, Philippa of Hainaut turns up to the nunnery and Alice proves herself by helping Philippa up when she’s fallen and picking up her rosary [sic] beads so Philippa adopts her

and then when Alice arrives in the royal household, Philippa is too sick to see her so Philippa’s nasty daughter, Isabella, sends Alice to be a kitchen maid 

(why do people act like medieval women were helpless pawns and then find a woman who had some control over their marriages were spoilt bitches?)

and then she’s bullied and sexually harassed and then accused of stealing the rosary [sic] Philippa gave her and no one believes her but Philippa saves the day by rising from her sickbed

so now Philippa has made Alice a lady-in-waiting and now it’s all “omg she has amazing clothes now!” and she gets to hang out with the king and she’s got an instant connection with Edward III, who is old but still 10/10 would bang (unlike Philippa)

and then Edward III summons Alice to have sex with him and Alice goes but she’s wracked with guilt

BUT THEN PHILIPPA TURNS UP WHILE ALICE IS WAITING TO SEE EDWARD. 

Alice is all “oh noo I’m not going to do it, I’m crying, I’m guilty, I can’t do it to you” and Philippa is like “hush child, I’m only here to tell you that I understand my husband has needs and I can’t fulfil them so I picked you with the express purpose of having you fuck my hubby now go forth with my blessing”

(and like yeah, it is fair that they have this conversation. Philippa is very sickly. But it also removes all guilt from Alice, prevents Philippa being the victim of her husband’s affair and casts Philippa in a quite manipulative light, almost to the point of presenting her as grooming Alice for Edward III and I just YIKES.)

but no one can know Alice has Philippa’s blessing so the man who takes Alice to see Edward III after this conversation is furious with Alice

and now Alice is about to bang Edward III. 

[amatchforyourmadness]

How to you feel about each of Henry's wives?

Are you ready for a huge text? Cause you getting it.I’ll be giving my thoughts in the order in which the marriages took place, but I’ll be putting their ranking in my affections by their name just in case I talk too much without saying anything.

Catherine of Motherfuckin Aragon (#2 ) → I do not have words enough to express how much I respect and admire this woman, despite how many things I disagree or am not overly fond of on her behaviour/way of thinking. And I don’t mean just being a Queen until her very last day or enduring what Henry put her through with grace and poise, I mean even before she walked out of that judgment without Henry’s permission, I mean managing to thrive despite having her father-in-law against her after the death of Arthur. This woman was the first female spanish ambassador to England. This woman, after marrying Henry, when he decided to go fight in France and left her to rule his kingdom, C R U S H E D a rebellion with the same effort someone would take to make a sandwich. AND THEN SHE SENF THE LEADER OF THE REBELLION’S BLOODY CLOAK TO HER HUBBIE IN FRANCE ALONG WITH A LOVE LETTER IN WHICH IT’S IMPLIED SHE SAID SHE WAS PREGNANT. THIS WOMAN DESERVES SO MUCH MORE PRAISE, @ EVERYONE STOP MAKING HER AN OLD WOMAN AND A PRUDE, THIS BITCH HAD CLAWS FOR AGES—

Anne Boleyn (the baddest bitch that you can’t even) ( #1 ) →Despite my passionate rant about CoA, Anne is still (how my quotes and my fic may suggest) my favourite from all of the wives and I feel terrible about her more than undeserved fate. This girl had the brains, had the looks, had the sharp tongue and had the temper that would have made her an icon of our age, had she only been born in our times. The Other Boleyn Girl and other period pieces as well as some historians tend to make her the ‘whore’ of the early triangle that was formed when Henry (the true whore) decided to get rid of Catherine in favour of his younger beloved, but she was far from it. This girl brought a nation to it’s knees, she was the alleged reason for a King to break with the church of Rome and had a full reformation on the country without opening her legs until they were married and that’s a fact. She was very kind and attentive of her friends, ladies-in-waiting and family and I think this is unfortunately lost in the Whore Narrative in favour of overexagerating the jealousness she was sure to feel in the latest years, putting her against every female character one could to have some more conflict in a book and make her more of a lustful, cruel she-devil (Yes, I see you Philippa. I see you. You too, Wolf Hall). However, I do think her role often times is exaggerated in another aspect: She was by no means the leader of the Boleyn Faction, although she had some considerable half of the decisions made to get them where they rose to, the head of the faction were Thomas and George (I can make a whole rant about how this boy doesn’t get half of the value he’s supposed to get) and she wasn’t the whole reason behind any of what Henry did either, she was used as an excuse. I think we shouldn’t either make her the epitome of a Mary Sue with underlines of a bad temper or the scheming bitch that got the crown; She was a human being, and I intend to write her that way as the chapters of The Wives’ Club progress.

Jane Seymour (#6 )  → You can imagine very well why she’s my lowest ranking wive and why I won’t have much to say about her. I deeply dislike Jane and I make no attempt on hiding it. Her reputation being almost sanctified when she had a worse behaviour than Anne during her courtship of the King is deeply infuriating, even more when I think Anne and five other innocent men had their head chopped off due to untruthful allegations only so Henry could place a crown on her head (which actually never happened, she never got a coronation. That makes me slightly happier). She did not have much attractive qualities to redeem their role on the suffering of the previous wive like others did and her decisions weren’t hers as much as they were her brothers’. I dislike her son, finding Edward the most dislikeable of Henry’s kids, her attempts of bringing Mary back into favour were okayish, she all but ignored Elizabeth’s existence and her reign was short and unremarkable. Overall, my least favourite, no doubt.

Anne of Cleves (#3 ) → BABY GIRL. BABY. ICONIC. BEAUTIFUL. ASTOUNDING. SHOW STOPPING. WHAT ELSE CAN I SING OF PRAISE, IDK. ANNE VON KLEVES IS THE WOMAN YOU SHALL RESPECT OR YOU SHALL RESPECT, THERE’S NO OTHER WAY. Let’s start setting one thing straight, this woman was b e a u t i f u l. An absolute snacc. Henry can go fuck right off. You made two of your wives whores, another a sinner and a liar and now you make this one the ugly one? Why don’t you marry a sex doll then, you piece of shit? “The king was so stout that such a man has never been seen,” reported a visitor to court. “Three of the biggest men that could be found could get inside his doublet.” She had waaay more reason to complain than you! He claimed she was not a virgin, yet she asked if he kissing her good night and good morning in her chambers was not enough to be considered consumation of the wedding! At least she didn’t ever need to be under that giant glob you called belly! Okay, I’m going to chill. Anne was undoubtedly the most successful of Henry’s wives, yes, even more than Parr. She was not well versed in singing, dancing or music, due to her education in the Cleves fashion, not in the English, being a pragmatic woman versated in needlework and house management. When the short time of their marriage came to an end and they were declared not truthfully married, she wrote a letter of compliance to the King, knowing full well she was being cast out because Henry lusted her lady-in-waiting, Katherine Howard, and, differently of CoA, setting herself as a faithful servant of Henry’s will. What did that mean? It meant that Henry had finally stepped out of a marriage without a fuss to it and he was more than thankful. She got money to spare, all of her jewels, inumetous mannord and castles and an income that could make us cry over our petty salaries, she was held up as his sister, having only he, himself and his children take precedence to her and she had the most amicable of relationships with him and KH after the whole thing. They visited her and she visited them, all was well. She ended outliving Henry, Katherine Howard, Catherine Parr and Edward Tudor, having died a calm death in one of her castle’s after living a Queen’s life without having to be married to no King at fucking all! Even Mary, that opposed her Protestant views held her in such high regard she gave the woman a royal funeral. This bitch had held a mini-court in all of her residences and she honestly had the best live of all of the wives. I can only congratulate her. Anne of Cleves was the most successful wive, fight me.

Katherine Howard ( #5 ) → Oh, this poor baby. Poor, poor baby. I would rank her higher in the list if I could solely because of how people view her to this day. She was but a teenager that got executed by a love affair that I’m not even sure if really took place because,,,, everyone knows Anne’s story by then??? It’s recent history???? It’s known???? Why would you do this????? But there is so much proof??? Kitty baby, why???? and is called an empty-headed fool by many, and I mean MANY, people in the most unfair of ways. She wasn’t a remarkable queen either in the matters of her reign, but she was kind and gentle and an absolute joy for what’s written in the records of our history. She and Mary did not go along so well (probably because Mary was probably having Anne flashbacks), but Elizabeth and Edward did quite enjoy her as a stepmother. I don’t forget either how she and Anne of Cleves remained friendly after the divorce, having danced all through the night of the day it was made official as Henry retreated to his chambers to sleep, writing each other letters, visiting and lunching with each other. The dignity with which she faced her death is also uncanny, leading me to believe bravery and unfair fates are both traces of the Howard blood she and Anne shared. I wished she could have had a happier life and is not a random choice have her be the center of the TWC’s plot.

Catherine Parr (#4 ) → I confess I did not read or had as much interest on her as the others, although I have read more of her than I read of Jane. She was a smart woman and, although she married the Seymour Fuckboy and people single her out as the Nurse of Old Henry ™, she was one of the best Consorts an english king could have had, no doubt. She managed to strike a good relationship with all the three kids, she was fair and justice-driven, Elizabeth’s life was brightest with her and I can only say that she is the one to be called saint if she put up with Henry Tudor as an old overweight man nearing death and with paranoias swirling around his head like fishes in an aquarium. I will read more about her to have a better portrayal to the fic, but she’s still earned my respect and admiration.

Well… I warned it would be long hahahaha!I hope it was somewhat revealing to you and that I didn’t got you bored in the meantime.Any other questions you may have, feel free to ask them!

[vernonroche-archive]

I was tagged by @ilonavic to do this awesome tag meme - thanks for creating it and thanks for tagging me ♥

1. Who would you rather be stuck on a deserted island with?

Geralt: Iorveth: Iorweth knows how to survive in the wild - that means the only reason why I might die on that island isn’t starvation or getting eaten by wild animals, it’s because I’ve gotten on his nerves too much :P  Dandelion: 

2. Who would you hire as your mentor in magic?

Yennefer. I feel like I’d get along with her the best Avallac’h. Philippa.

3. Who would you run to rescue, if you could only choose one?

Shani. Regis. Triss. Cahir. If we’re talking about BaW as canon and Dettlaff saved Regis, I’d definitely come to Cahir’s rescue (I’m still not over his death)

4. Who’s army would you join?

The Scoia'tael, Iorveth. The Aen Elle, Eredin. The Skelligers, Clan an Craite. The Blue Stripes, Roche. I’d go for the Blue Stripes - they’re efficient and under the command of a highly capable captain, and they can absolutely rely on each other  The Nilfgaardians, Emhyr.  

5. Who’s “sasshole-club” would you join?

Dethmold. Ge’els. His kind of sass/snark is exactly my cup of tea :D Iorveth. Milva. Avallac’h.

Some freestyle questions for you to answer, without any ultimatums.

6. Who would you have the most fun with and why?

Answer: Lambert, I’d try to out-snark him and drinking with him would be pretty fun as well

7. Who would you marry and why?

Answer: ROCHE, I just love him ♥♥

8. Who would you want as your best friend and why?

Answer: Milva, she doesn’t beat around the bush and she’d tell me if I was being stupid, she can also be nurturing, and she’d be fun to hang out with

9. Who would you disagree the most with and why?

Answer: Avallach, I know how he is in the game and I know how I am IRL so if we ever met there would be disagreements :P

10. Who would you mourn the most, if you ever lost them and why?

Answer: Roche (again), I couldn’t even side with Dijkstra in the game because that meant letting Roche die and since he’s the hubby I’d mourn him the most for obvious reasons