#Also how pretty is that album name???? I'm so in love
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5 - Pink Floyd - The piper at the gates of dawn
Released on August 5, 1967. First and last album with Syd Barrett.
Lucifer is a fantastic song, it's this kinda song that has something that I can't explain (lol), where time and space mean nothing (I mean that's psych progressive rock for you), with Interstellar Overdrive being the culminating point. Flaming and Pow R. Toc. H were GREAT too.
Take up thy stethoscope and walk : favorite one. both Lucifer and Take up have this kinda 60s guitar that I love. It's genuinely too good.
The gnome feels like an adult nursery rhyme, Scarecrow was a gorgeous short song (and it did feel very Beatles-y) and Bike honestly made me laugh because of how abrupt the switches are, but then i stopped laughing when the outro started, that shit was honestly uncomfortable (and the feeling lingered as it was the last song on the album).
I guess it is a little less accessible than Pink Floyd's projects post-Syd because they really did take a different turn after his departure, but it was a great listen.
It's progressive, psychedelic rock mixed with blues so I was expecting to enjoy it, and I did!!
And I love the album cover as well (by fashion photographer Vic Singh).
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Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)
First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.
I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!
Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.
It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.
I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.
So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......
The Rhythm Thief
NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!
How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?
I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way
What Are All These Bands So Angry About?
Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this
I Married Myself
Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day
Ride 'Em Cowboy
My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to
My Baby's Taking Me Home
This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way
Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold
Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe
Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls
Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it
Suburban Homeboy
Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)
One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course
#god these are getting harder and harder to write instead of easier this one took me like 3 hours#but it also is long as heck so. idk it turned out pretty good though. i'm happy with it#i don't know why i feel so silly still writing these#maybe i really went a little bit overambitious with preparing two separate things for each day#but if there's even one or two people who enjoy these i can rest knowing that i have succeeded on this front#also i wish i could have come up with a cool dynamic pose like this for the drawing but no#it's based on the poster of a movie of the same name as the featured song#and honestly now i feel like it's extra fitting for spars and their love for referencing cinema and other pop culture things#and thank god i had an excuse to go completely minimalistic for once. all in all i'm quite happy with the result#cool to do something slightly different sometimes and it also just fits the spirit of the album i think!#anyway LB my beloved. seriously never getting over how good the 00s era albums are#lifechanging outstanding mesmerizing exceptional etc#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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somewhat pleased to announce that in case someone wanted to know, and i really don't see why they wouldn't, the cameras that atz use in the cawaii men photoshoots are
fujifilm simple ace p&s camera (for taking photos), and
most probably? pentax spotmatic (the one hj, sh and jh pose with)
#YOUNG PEOPLE NOWADAYS!!! they're wasting film like pros :''')#shrimp thoughts#actually this is terribly artificial behaviour. i was not organically possessed by the urge to check what kinda camera are they posing with#but i DID think it would be funny if i did and then acted like it's a completely normal thing to do. hence.#i should learn up on hj's photography... he did have an exhibit a while ago after all#i'm curious about the pics the guys took with the fuji cameras! what % of them was unsalvageable lol#i know it was probably cold/late/both outside and that they were on a schedule but yknow what they say#or maybe they don't. but anyway the person who picked up THING three seconds ago acts like they know everything there is to know about#THING. and so. as this very person. i'd like to say the pics would probably be better if they could take them outside? you can see#the p&s all have flash but still! oh also that reminds me of my minor gripe w/ atz photoshoots namely. they're All Indoors#well not ALL all but sooo many of them are and it pains me because i love outdoorsy photoshoots#like the one in the diary ver of fever 3 or the second part of the fever epilogue diary ver#...and fever 2 diary ver too. wait are diary versions just More outdoorsy/less Studio Photography? HM#but anyway! i just like when models can interact/blend in with their surroundings. it's always much more interesting when there's something#Else going on in the photo than just one color background/the walls of a room. this is why i loved l**na's predebut album photoshoots becau#*because each was in a different location! several different locations even! sometimes you'd even get a photo that has no people in it#simply because the surroundings are so pretty!#oooh now that i think about it d-day is like that too. yoongi heard me grumbling abt how much i hate those empty pages in bt/s albums#and went Not On My Watch lol#anyway. sorry i'm rambling for no reason gkhsfgkjfsf
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some loves
pairing: bang chan x female reader
summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.
word count: 6.9k
tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic
read it on ao3 | masterlist
a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.
Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.
He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.
“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”
“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”
“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”
“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”
“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”
“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.
“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”
Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.
There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.
“I’m in,” Chan agrees.
“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”
“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”
“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.
“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.
“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”
—
Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.
Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.
“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”
“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.
“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”
“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”
“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”
“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.
“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”
They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.
HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.
“Y/n,” Chan breathes.
You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.
“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”
Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.
It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.
It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.
Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.
As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.
You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.
“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.
“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.
“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”
Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.
“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”
The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.
The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.
You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.
It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.
Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.
“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”
You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.
“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”
“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”
You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.
“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.
“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.
Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.
Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.
—
Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.
That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.
In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.
The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.
Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.
Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.
When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.
“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”
Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.
“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.
Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”
“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”
“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”
“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”
“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”
“You didn’t hear what happened?”
“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.
“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”
“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”
“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”
“Please,” Chan pleads.
“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”
It suddenly clicks.
“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”
“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”
“But really, we were never-”
“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”
“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”
“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”
“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.
“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”
“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.
“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”
“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”
“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”
“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”
“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”
—
A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.
After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.
“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”
That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.
“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”
This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.
“What happened?” he prods.
“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”
“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.
“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”
“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.
“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”
Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.
“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.
“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.
“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”
“I- I don’t know.”
“What’s your gut feeling?”
“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”
“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”
“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”
Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.
“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”
“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”
“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”
As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.
At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.
“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”
Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.
Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.
[Received - 8:04pm]
Channie-oppa~
[Received - 8:04pm]
This is Y/nnie
[Received - 8:05pm]
Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/
[Received - 8:09pm]
But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?
Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.
He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.
[Sent - 8:10pm]
Hey Y/n!
[Sent - 8:11pm]
No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too
[Sent - 8:13pm]
I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ
[Received - 8:13pm]
Gangdong-gu?
[Received - 8:14pm]
Ohh JYPE
[Received - 8:14pm]
My bad, forgot that you guys moved
[Sent - 8:15pm]
Yeahhh
[Sent - 8:15pm]
Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry
[Received - 8:18pm]
Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway
[Sent - 8:18pm]
Wait, really?
[Sent - 8:18pm]
No no no, don’t take the subway
[Sent - 8:18pm]
I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min
[Received - 8:19pm]
Wowow
[Received - 8:19pm]
Private driver?
[Received - 8:20pm]
You’re a real superstar now haha
[Sent - 8:21pm]
alsfjshkafs noooooooo
[Sent - 8:21pm]
It’s just faster
[Sent - 8:21pm]
and safer
[Received - 8:22pm]
I’m not complaining
[Received - 8:22pm]
but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you
[Received - 8:23pm]
If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭
[Sent - 8:24pm]
Knew it
[Sent - 8:25pm]
You’re just using me for my fame
[Received - 8:26pm]
Ah you got me this time
[Received - 8:26pm]
*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks
[Received - 8:27pm]
Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up
[Received - 8:27pm]
Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?
Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.
Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.
[Received - 8:32pm]
?? Speechless that I caught on?
[Received - 8:36pm]
I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped
[Received - 8:40pm]
Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked
[Received - 8:42pm]
It was nice knowing you I guess
When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.
[Sent - 8:53pm]
Sorry, lost track of time
[Sent - 8:53pm]
They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything
[Received - 8:54pm]
Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts
[Received - 8:55pm]
But thanks
[Received - 8:55pm]
Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?
[Received - 8:55pm]
I’m honoured
Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.
“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”
“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”
“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”
“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”
“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.
“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”
“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”
“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”
“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”
“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”
“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”
“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”
It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.
“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”
“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”
“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”
“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.
“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.
“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.
“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.
"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."
“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."
“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”
“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”
"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”
"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."
“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”
“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.
“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”
"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.
"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.
"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"
“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.
“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.
“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.
Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.
“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."
You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.
“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”
"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"
"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."
"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."
"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."
Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.
Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.
"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.
"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"
You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.
"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."
At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.
"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."
read it on ao3 | masterlist
#some loves#chahnniesroom#skz fanfic#skz angst#skz fic#skz x reader#skz x female reader#skz x y/n#stray kids angst#stray kids x female reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#bang chan angst#bang chan x reader#bang chan fluff#chan x reader#chan angst#chan fic#bang chan x y/n#bang chan x you#chan x you#chan x y/n#chan x female reader#skz imagines#stray kids#chan#bang chan
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⨳ ʾ apps/sites 4 shifting . ♡
hi! this will be long but i made a list of apps/sites that might be helpful for your shifting journey. reminder that you don't need these to shift but they can be helpful with manifesting, keeping track of stuff, etc.
enjoy! divider cr
NOT SPONSORED BTW LMAO
﹒ ⊹ 🝮 OO1: NOTION ✩
description:
basically notion is an app for documents and stuff. i have to say this one's relatively known and it's such a huge life saver and i know that probably everyone knows about it already (as they should) but i'm gonna recommend it once again.
useful for:
scripting
dashboards you can add life goals & stuff here you can look up some templates/ideas and see what i mean LOL
cons:
i personally can not think of any major ones because this app is just that good
you do have to make new accounts for the text ai generating feature but i don't know if anyone would use that
additional notes:
i personally love how customizable it is! like you can make each page have a custom icon & header, add widgets, images, and so much more. it is so so so insanely helpful for scripting i'm telling you. or you can just be basic, that works too. there's also a bunch of script templates online including specific ones (like a better cr, fame dr, fantasy dr, fandom-specific drs, bla bla bla) and it's literally the only thing shifttok is good for imo. i'm a big fan of shifterium's templates but there's other people who make them as well and i'm sure you can find some recommendations!
★ ₊ ➲ OO2: CANVA
description:
a website + app where you can design stuff from headers down to presentations, posters, covers, etc..
useful for:
album covers for singer/idol drs
book covers for writer drs or something
fake social media posts but there's better apps out there and i'll list them here as well
and much more!
cons:
a lot of things (most of which i think are the good stuff) are paid but you can find similar replicas if you scroll long enough i guess..?? and there's a free trial but i don't know if that helps
additional notes:
definitely my favorite place to go when i need to design something tbh. there's a bunch of templates you can use and the layout is very easy to navigate through! and it's pretty easy to find free alternatives for the paid stuff you do have in there
₍ⁿ⑅..ⁿ₎ ˇ ⩩ OO3: PARROT ❀
description:
parrot is an app where you can record yourself saying literally anything and play it on a continuous loop
useful for:
affirmations (manifesting??)
cons:
i'm pretty sure it's iOS only
additional notes:
personally i haven't used this app (i don't like my voice so i will not be recording myself saying affirmations thank yew) so i can't give it a rating but from the looks of it and based off of recommendations i've seen it's pretty useful. should be a white icon with a pink circle that has a white parrot in it!
≥≤ ﹕ ⤷ OO4: BEHINDTHENAME ◍
description:
a site where you can generate names & even life stories if you choose it (including height, weight, blood type, birthday, nationality and more i think?? at least it gives those for me). you can choose from different cultures and stuff like fantasy & mythology.
useful for:
finding a name & info for your dr self (which is literally you by the way don't forget that!) and potentially other people you'd like to script in
cons:
it really just helps to make a basic profile of a person so the things you can do with it can be a little limited
additional notes:
i prefer using this site for ocs instead but i think it can definitely help with shifting! oddly enough it also shows like a lifespan & cause of death so.. cool i guess!!!!
✦ ﹕ OO5: SOCIAL MAKER/dummy
description:
social maker & social dummy are both apps where you can replicate almost basically anything from the internet from twitter posts to facebook posts, youtube posts, and more!
useful for:
social media stuff especially useful for fame drs, streamer drs, idol/singer drs and so much more
cons:
both apps were deleted so you have to have had installed them before if you want to get them back
social maker is ios only i think?
additional notes:
yeah both apps are deleted but there's alternatives out there like twinote (for twitter) photonote (for instagram) canva (has fake social media templates as i said lol) and others that you can look for (because i personally only use twinote)
⋆ ᶻᶻ OO6: HELLOFACE ﹒ ★
description:
basically an app for ai face swapping
useful for:
seeing what your face claim (if you have one) would look like on for example dances, fancams, interviews definitely useful for idol/singer/maybe fame drs
cons:
uses ai (i'm personally not a big fan of ai)
pretty underground so the chances that you might not like it are not low
✭ ❒︎ OO7: ROOM PLANNER . ♡
description:
basically what the name says. it's a 3d home designer
useful for:
making your dr room/house
visualizing your dr room/house
cons:
has paid stuff
┊ ‧ ⬭ OO8: COMBYNE
description:
an app where you can combine items you like from a wide selection of stuff to make outfits!
useful for:
making outfits for your dr
visualizing said outfits
additional notes:
there's other things you can do on the app like challenges where you can compete to make the best outfit i think?? looks pretty fun i might try it HAHAHA
yuh so i got a little lazy here at the end & i know this is prolly not very helpful because most of these apps/sites are pretty well known but maybe just maybe.. i helped someone out...
HAPPY SHIFTING!!!!!
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shifting realities#shifting community#shifters#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting diary#siyzuii
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My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys | Charles Leclerc
SUMMARY: After being mia for a year, Y/n comes back better than ever ready to talk about her six year relationship, through music.
FACE CLAIM: Lola Tung
pairings: Singer! Reader x Charles Leclerc
a/n: sorry for also being mia!! i’ve been working with uni and publishing my book! i hope you guys enjoy
david.iacono via instagram
liked by logansargent, minnie.mills and 100,427 others
tagged: y/n.l/n_
david.iacono our girl is finally making a comeback!!
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user102 i’m sorry but she’s alive?!
user15 y/n is finally back!!
user12 omg finally!! i missed her so so much
user4579_ i’ve missed you in the paddock
minnie.mills she’s back!!!
user101 wait? our girl? what happened to charles?
-> user15 im pretty sure they broke up! she hasn’t been seen anywhere for the past year and that includes everything related to charles.
-> user278 they don’t even follow each other on instagram anymore!
y/n.l/n via insta stories. minnie.mills via insta stories.
y/n.l/n via insta
liked by charles_leclerc and 1,820,278 more.
y/n.l/n guess who’s back with great news!! if you’ve been following me for a while you would now how much i love musical theater and i’m forever thankful for giving life to eurydice in hadestown!
view all comments
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user10 our queen is back and she’s going to broadway?! omg guys!!!!!
user78 it’s happening!!!
user57 you did it y/n!!!
user17 i feel like a proud mother, congrats!!
minnie.mills broadway is shaking in their boots!! Just wait till they hear the album!
-> user890 the album?! what album??
-> user27 omg omg omg
-> y/n.l/n thank you for spoiling the album
user19 i don’t know what’s crazier, the album announcement in the comments or charles in the likes
y/n.l/n posted a video via insta.
liked by arthur_lecler, carlossainz55 and 2,920,831 others.
y/n.l/n. decided to give you guys a preview of a song I've been writing since I was gone, hope you guys enjoy!! xoxo
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user28 no fucking way!!!
user2901 I'm going to puke
user290 we can all agree this song is about Charles, right?!?! I can't be crazy
user190 this is so crazy
user789 but what’s the name of the song?
-> y/n.l/n my boy only breaks his favorite toys
-> user17 it keeps getting worse and worse for charles
user219 if this is the preview of the album she's writing if I were Charles I would start hiding
user89 once I fix me, he's gonna miss me?!?!? she ate I fear
user19 I guess the new album is a disstrack
user55 well at least we know who arthur and carlos side with in the breakup
user26 charles pr team should get to work
y/n.l/n via insta.
liked by charles_leclerc, chrisbriney_ and 920,194 more.
y/n.l/n opening night was a hit! thank you for everyone that waited for me to heal and supported me all the way, i love you guys. good things are coming soon
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user78 you are so mega talented!! you deserve this and more
user891 the caption seems shady?
user178 oh charles what did you do
charles_leclerc congrats xoxo
-> user16 i don’t know what shocks me more, charles commenting or his xoxo
-> user89 once i fix me, he’s gonna miss me…
patriciooward via insta stories!
y/n.l/n via instagram !
liked by patriciooward, minnie.mills and 3,991.782 others
y/n.l/n all’s fair in love and poetry…new album THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. out on friday!
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user189 omg?!? we’ve been getting so much content
user167 they could never make me hate you charles
patriciooward congrats cariño 🤍
-> user78 come again?
-> user67 pato what are you doing here?!
user78 i’m scared, if this is something about charles never proposing im going feral
user589 honestly i can’t wait until friday someone leak it!!
user67 please be ready charles
charles_leclerc 🤍
#charles leclerc x you#charles lecrerc fanfic#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#pato o'ward#pato o’ward x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 social media au#f1 x taylor swift#imagines#smau#f1 x you#f1 x reader#formula one fanfiction#f1 fic#lola tung#taylor swift#the tortured poets department
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Fiquei completamente apaixonada pelo imagine que você fez do Logan/Wade/Reader, queria muito outro assim, nada em especial, só mais sobre o relacionamento dos três (I'm really bad with requests, sorry)
(Rough translation by google: I was completely in love with the imagine you made of Logan/Wade/Reader, I really wanted another one like that, nothing in particular, just more about the relationship of the three) if it’s translated something within the request wrong, let me know.
Emotional support isn’t either Wade nor Logan’s strong suit. one made a massive joke out of everything, even his own feelings, while the other suppressed them unhealthily.
So needless to say if emotional comfort is what you were after, you were unfortunately out of luck but that didn’t mean that the pair were about to leave you to suffer alone during such a rough time in your life. Wade and Logan will find a way to help you anyway they could.
Wade would insist that you both have a spontaneous day where you’d do anything that came to your mind without judgment. You may or may not end up making dick cookies together in the kitchen whilst wearing your matching unicorn onesie pyjamas, covered in flour and other stuff.
Ass slaps -consensual of course- are a common occurrence between you, Wade and Logan…well mainly you and Wade…but Logan will gently tap your ass before kissing your forehead, meanwhile giving Wade the hardest slap that would leave a hand shape bruise that would last a week.
Cuddles are something that’s also frequent in your relationship with Wade and Logan but most -if not all- of the time you were in the middle of the both of them, leeching off of their warmth like the parasite you were but you were living the life.
Wade doesn’t care whether he’s the big or small spoon as either way he gets to be close to you in some capacity, where as Logan likes to be the big spoon so he could keep you safe and protected, always sleeping with his back to the door so that if anything were to happen they’d have to get through him.
Wade’s petnames for you are:
Cutie patootie with the booty
Peanut (something he also calls Logan)
Pookie/pookie bear
Sexiest person alive
Logan’s petnames for you are:
Darling
Sweetheart
That’s pretty much it as he’s not too overly worried about petnames, where as Wade has a thousand more up his sleeve that he pulls out of nowhere.
You and Wade would sometimes blatantly check out Logan whenever he’s shirtless and doing his one thing while you and Wade laid on the floor, feet kicking in the air as you both admired your hot partner. (Logan is very aware of what you two were doing but didn’t have it in him to say shit)
Dog pool is basically your, Logan and wades child and she is spoilt the fuck by the three of you for being the cutest dog you’ve ever seen. You dressed her up as Mary Poppins once for Halloween and now you have albums upon albums filled with pictures of dog pool in cute doggy costumes. This is her cannon event.
Logan has nightmares and would often act all cold and distant afterwards but you would gently grab his arm and pull him in for a comforting hug. ‘Don’t walk away,’ you said, ‘please we can figure this out together okay? You’ve been alone long enough, don’t for yourself to fall back into old habits when you’ve got two people who care deeply about you and want to see you okay.’ You add as you rub your hand up and down his back reassuringly until you manage to ease him back into bed and fall asleep on top of his chest so he doesn’t move.
You press kisses to Wade’s face and call him handsome, gorgeous, cutie, all sorts of names that have him feeling soft and fuzzy within his chest because he’s aware of how he looks, but you loved him unconditionally and would even help him with toupees and whatnot, though not before telling him that you find him attractive how he is and wouldn’t want him to change for anyone.
You got a lot of kisses and cuddles from him later because you had no right being that fucking cute!
#mcu x you#mcu x reader#mcu imagines#mcu imagine#marvel x you#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel imagines#marvel x y/n#mcu x y/n#wade wilson imagines#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson imagine#deadpool x you#deadpool imagines#deadpool imagine#deadpool x reader#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool#wolverine imagine#wolverine imagines#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#Logan howlett imagines
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I've seen some people express some confusion about what Fortnight is about, why it opens the album, what's happening in the video, etc, so here's my attempt at an analysis. For the most part I'll be referring to the characters in the video with the names of the people playing them (Taylor and Post) but at times I'm going to be making direct reference to the events of Taylor's personal life and referring to the muses by their names (Joe and Matty) for the sake of clarity and simplicity.
The song itself uses the suburbia conceit as an extended metaphor for the beginning of her relationship with Matty (he's the neighbor she runs away to Florida with, Joe is the cheating husband.) For more eloquent and detailed thoughts on the narrative of the song you can check out Jaime @cages-boxes-hunters-foxes's post here.
The video is really dense, and I'm not 100% confident in every aspect of my interpretation, but I feel pretty sure that it's making extensive use of visual metaphor in order to tell roughly the same story as the song, just in a different setting. To start, Taylor wakes up chained to a bed in a white dress.
To me this suggests that she's been driven mad by being left at the altar, and is now trapped, surveilled and controlled, in a type of asylum. This represents the end of her relationship with Joe--waiting for a marriage that never came, feeling trapped, mentally unwell etc.
She then takes 'forget him' pills which reveal Post's tattoos on her face when she looks in the mirror.
This represents Matty (the "miracle move-on drug") and shows that he made a mark on her while she was still in the asylum--that is, still in her relationship with Joe. Additionally, in the wide shot where we see the mirror, its size and shape are very reminiscent of a one-way mirror, often seen in interrogation rooms and psychological experiments, further reinforcing the idea that Taylor is imprisoned here.
She then is able to go to the typewriter room and do her work, creating art about how she's feeling, shown by her repeatedly typing "I love you, it's ruining my life" on the typewriter. She's still in pain and feeling trapped. While there, she encounters Post and they create art together, which creates beauty and color in her life. The blue and gold obviously reference her writing about Joe, but the fact that her work is gold and Post's is blue may be a deliberate choice to draw parallels between Matty and Joe, as she does on numerous songs throughout TTPD.
The next scene, where Taylor's hair is down and she and Post are wearing the same black coat and pants, takes place inside her head (symbolized by the shape of the papers they're laying on.) She is dreaming about them being free and creating art together, represented by the papers surrounding them and book she's holding, which has the word "us" written on the cover. She's writing their story before it's begun.
She then reaches for his hand in her fantasy, accepting and asking for this relationship
Then we see that she's being studied and experimented on--the results of the lie detector test read "I love you, it's ruining my life." Her pain is an object of fascination.
Interestingly, Post is part of the group experimenting on her, but when the experiments begin to cause her pain, he liberates her.
This inspires Taylor to destroy the place where she's been trapped, which we see through her opening the filing cabinets that cover the walls and destroying the mirror. I also find the shot of her standing still while papers burn around her interesting and significant; I interpret this as Taylor destroying her own work about Joe. By choosing to leave, she is metaphorically burning--rejecting--the story she wrote about them.
Finally, Taylor and Post enter the dangerous outside world together; the rain echoes the lyric "I chose this cyclone with you" on the album's title track. While I do feel the meaning of Post being in the phone booth is somewhat ambiguous, the framing and the accompanying lyric--"I've been calling ya but you won't pick up" suggest that he's attempting to communicate with her but can't reach her. They are free of her prison, but still separated.
Then, he hangs up the phone and reaches for her hand, and she takes it. The final shot of the video is a close up on their linked hands, presenting us with a cautiously optimistic ending--they are lost and vulnerable in the middle of a storm, but they have each other.
I feel this is a somewhat less sinister, for lack of a better word, portrayal of the start of Matty and Taylor's relationship than is suggested elsewhere on the record, though I believe Post's character being part of the group experimenting on her is significant and the editing creates some ambiguity about exactly when and why she decides to break free. But I hope this clarifies how the video sets up the beginning of this story, the fallout of which is then chronicled over the course of the rest of TTPD.
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I have an idea ✋ Logan with a artistic partner. Whether they are a dancer, singer, whatever. He would be the MOST supportive man ever. He'd go to every performance, every gallery showing, you name it he's there. The whole "That's my partner" to a random stranger thing
Ooo I love this!
Logan Howlett With A Singer / Song Writer S/O Headcannons
I ended up writing this as headcannons. I wrote this with a fem reader in mind (I'm female), but I'm pretty sure this could be read as gn as well. I also wrote this to fit any version of Logan. Hope you like it 🩷
Logan never misses a performance.
He loved hearing your voice.
Whether that be talking or singing, he could listen to you all day every day.
Watching you come alive on stage and seeing you smile is the highlight of his day.
The second best thing is when you run over to him when the show is over and it's time to go home, you always give him the biggest hug and he loves it so much.
He owns all of your albums.
Absolutely will not let you give them to him for free.
HE IS BUYING THEM no exceptions.
He know how how hard you work, not only on writing the songs in the first place but also actually bringing them to life in the recording studio.
Speaking of the studio, he feels like he is in heaven when you invite him to watch you record your singing. It's so raw, he adores the emotion you put into your songs.
He is so incredibly proud of you.
Logan smiles so much at your shows and just being with you in general. Even when you're not singing or on stage, he can't help it.
He's never been this happy before.
Logan will absolutely brag to the person standing next to him, saying,"That's my partner!"
His nickname specifically for you is Nightingale because of your sweet singing voice.
Other nicknames include angel, princess, baby, babydoll, sweetheart and darlin
You tend to talk Logan down after he's had a nightmare.
You're very good at grounding him.
Sometimes, when Logan has had a particularly bad nightmare, he will ask you to sing for him and how could you refuse.
✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ ✨️
I wrote a little thing that fits in with these headcannons. Reader sings to Logan after he's had a nightmare.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett headcanon#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine imagine#james logan howlett#old man logan x reader#my husband#my writing#logan howlett x you
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hi isa <3 really curious on what type of dom you think the exo members are 😻👀
The way you sent this while I was going through my exo album looking for a new profile pic-
exo as doms
pairing: exo x reader (no chen, read my guidelines for info)
genre: smut
warnings: reader has a hand kink (this is very self-indulgent), mentions of degradation, spanking, edging, overstimulation, (aftercare isn’t explicitly mentioned for most of them but just know that all of them would be adamant about taking good care of you after, especially if they were rough)
word count: 851
notes: special thanks to @rose-sereniteeth for helping me! ♡ funny how we struggled with minseok and then in typical fashion his part became one of the longest 💀 i'm not super happy with this but despite having stanned exo for the past seven years, i never quite embraced them like this until somewhat recently so there's still time to figure this out - also reblogs are always appreciated!
~~~~~~
Minseok (Xiumin)
Hard dom. He has rules in place and expects you to follow them. And while he’s sweet outside of the bedroom, during scenes he loves degrading you. He’s also a huge fan of teasing and sometimes he’ll just tease you with light touches (sometimes even with a feather) for hours until you get desperate enough. But if you dare to show your impatience by being a brat, he’ll scold you and either prolong your suffering or give you exactly what you wanted but tenfold until it’s almost too much. Cleanliness and tidiness are also very important to him so I feel like he would make you fold your clothes after undressing and be very adamant about cleaning you up afterwards.
Junmyeon (Suho)
Dom. Honestly ultimate daddy dom. Everything he does is to make you feel good. Whether that is making sure you eat and sleep enough or giving you what you need in the bedroom. He will absolutely spoil you in all aspects of life but in return he expects you to follow the rules you agreed on. And while he is sweet, he’s also very strict when it comes to the rules so you better not break them or he will put you over his knees and make you count.
Yixing (Lay)
Hard dom. Have you seen what he’s like when he’s working? All focused and hot? That’s how I imagine him as a dom. He’s more of a "master" type, especially during punishments. During scenes he acts cold and sometimes even angry with you. He doesn’t smile and when he does, that is absolutely not a good sign since it usually means he will edge or overstimulate you to heaven and back. But during aftercare he does a 180 and becomes very nurturing and caring.
Baekhyun
Dom. He’s an experimentalist and probably the kinkiest out of the bunch. I absolutely see him owning a toy box with all kinds of stuff in there (mostly for you). He definitely enjoys giving directions and is generally very vocal about what he wants you to do (are we surprised). He will also tease you relentlessly, both verbally and physically - he’ll call you all kinds of degrading names (usually mixed with praise, like “my pretty little whore”) and first edge you until you beg him to let you cum and then overstimulate you until you beg him to stop. Will definitely play innocent after as if he just didn’t take your body apart at the seems.
Chanyeol
Soft dom. I feel like unless you either fuck up or specifically ask him to be rough, he’ll generally be sweeter and less strict. That doesn’t mean he won’t tease the hell out of you though. He knows you love his hands and he’ll absolutely use that against you. Whether it’s with light touches anywhere but where you actually need him or by giving you orgasm after orgasm with only his fingers because “if you like my hands so much, surely you don’t need my cock” (bastard). But just because he isn’t usually rough with you (both verbally and physically), doesn’t mean you should underestimate him. Question his authority and he will put you in your place.
Kyungsoo (D.O)
Dom. He’s a soft lover and that usually carries over into the bedroom. He loves spoiling you because he’s a simp at heart but he never lets you forget who’s in control when you’re doing a scene. He’s strict about you following the rules you two have established, and if you don’t, he will definitely make you pay for it. I also don't really see him as a toy guy? Like he has a vibrator and maybe one, two other things but he usually relies on his own body and the vibrator if he wants to make you squirm, something he generally enjoys but especially when he’s punishing you.
Jongin (Kai)
Soft dom. He will absolutely do anything to make you happy and praise non-stop (read: simp - affectionately). Buys you pretty lingerie but he’s too impatient to take it off before fucking you so he usually fucks you with it on. What he does have the patience for though is worshipping every part of your body. He almost has too much patience for that though, so you often end up whining for him to hurry up, which more often than not leads to him shushing you and pushing his fingers into your mouth to shut you up.
Sehun
Dom. He’s a sweet guy and can absolutely be down for a more light-hearted dynamic with jokes and teasing but once he's in dom mode, he changes. He’s firm and expects you to obey but he also rewards you for listening with praise. I feel like he’s surprisingly vocal during sex. He tells you what he's going to do, what he expects of you, and he wants you to respond too, no matter how fucked out you are. It just brings him great enjoyment to see you struggle to form the words he wants to hear because lbr, he’s a brat even when he doms.
#ask game#exo smut#exo scenarios#exo imagines#xiumin smut#xiumin scenarios#minseok smut#minseok scenarios#suho smut#suho scenarios#junmyeon smut#junmyeon scenarios#lay smut#lay scenarios#yixing smut#yixing scenarios#baekhyun smut#baekhyun scenarios#chanyeol smut#chanyeol scenarios#d.o smut#d.o scenarios#kyungsoo smut#kyungsoo scenarios#kai smut#kai scenarios#jongin smut#jongin scenarios#sehun smut#sehun scenarios
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headcannons for getting drunk with tgc?
like how high their tolerance to alcohol is,
what they usually have,
and stuff similar?
ignore my 'ideas' if you dont wanna do them <3
🫧 anon
absolutely!! i love making hcs like this (i also won't be including larry bc he isn't of legal age to drink :P)
。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。 drunk ; tgc boys
゚・。・゚
genre/type: fluff/humor, headcanons
read below!
ISAAC;
absolute unbeatable tolerance. insane tolerance. dude can take 6 shots of everclear and still walk a straight line.
you've only seen isaac blackout ONCE, and it was complete accident. you hadn't seen isaac drinking that much, but he was actually borderline drunk. he asked you in a pretty sober sounding voice, "how many drinks have i had? should i stop?" you say, "i've only seen you take like 2 shots. drink some more!"
horrible move. he blacked out and also woke up with the world's worst hangover.
ever since then though, his tolerance, like i said, is rock solid.
he likes the classic drinks, so i'd say he likes a good screwdriver.
super clingy and COCKY when he's drunk.
drowning you in kisses and hugs, and he goes, "babe, i'm soooo hot. i'm soooo hot and sexy.."
"sure you are."
your two options are to kill his ego or boost it, but it kills you too much to deflate his ego.
"how cocky was i last night?"
"yeah."
TANNER;
moderately normal tolerance, maybe a TINY bit lower than the average person in their mid-20's.
like, if we're measuring in shots of vodka again, like 4 1/2 shots he'd be gone. not black out gone, but "i'm gonna talk about every celebrity i could probably pull" gone.
he's such a YAPPER when he's drunk dude.
will probably do the trend of writing fake band names to try and make you laugh
he's dancing around to loud ass music in the kitchen, invites you to dance with him, he immediately starts shoving himself against you
he won't shut up about how much he loves you
he's definitely got his head in your lap and he's making you play with his hair and listen to him talk
however you have to stop him talking at a certain point, because he'll just start having a crisis and making himself sad.
he's never blacked out, but he has terrible hangovers.
favorite drink? he strikes me as a daiquiri kinda guy. he'd love them.
but if it's more casual drinking at home, he's happy with some soju.
NICK;
literally AVERAGE tolerance.
about 2-3 shots of vodka has him tipsy, 4-6 has him drunk, and don't give him more than 8, he might start drunkenly making an album.
he's not a clear liquor guy, he prefers browns like brandy or scotch.
there is almost ALWAYS a bottle of whiskey in the fridge for nick, he never runs out.
he drinks regularly, but he doesn't HEAVILY drink on those nights.
he's super sleepy when he's drunk. he could literally fall asleep anywhere if given the opportunity
he could be laying on the floor to "stretch his back" he's asleep 10 minutes later
you have to carry this dude to bed (and if you can't do it alone, isaac helps you)
like i said he prefers drinking brown liquors, so i think he'd maybe like a tequila sunrise or just straight whiskey
BLAKE;
"i have a ROCK SOLID tolerance!" dead in 3 shots. don't listen to him lie to you
every time you and the guys go out for dinner at like chilis or something, blake orders a margarita and everyone sighs in unison
the margarita gets him on the verge of drunk. just a little past tipsy.
he can HARDLY casually drink with anyone because his tolerance is just THAT bad
you constantly pick at him for it but he's just accepted it at this point
he's so SILLY when he's drunk man
cracking jokes that do NOT land at all and are not funny unless he's talking to a bunch of drunk people
"so the.. uh.. what? yeah.. uh.."
he suddenly forgets english
he can barely formulate a SINGLE sentence and he's basically speaking in mumbles
he's like speaking in fancy or speaking in riddles like a troll under the bridge or some shit
you have to baby him while he's drunk or he won't know what the hell is going on
i think he honestly.. just likes whatever he can get his hands on.
#alex's writing#🫧.txt#tgc x reader#tgc#tgc x you#the group chat x reader#tgc x y/n#the group chat x y/n#the group chat x you#the group chat#isaacwhy x y/n#isaacwhy x you#isaacwhy x reader#isaacwhy#softwilly x you#softwilly x y/n#softwilly#softwilly x reader#big t x y/n#big t x you#big t x reader#big t#yumi#yumi x you#yumi x y/n#yumi x reader
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GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!
Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"
#YES THEM BEING THERE IS EXACTLY WHY I TOLD MY BROTHER TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ('there' being tower records in japan)#but i find it so funny that the cashier actually remarked on that fact too#anyway. you need to know that i'm feeling so very AAAAHHHH right now. all of these are such a big deal to me#i didn't think i'd actually own KMH ON VINYL at any point#also utterly shocked about the guerilla toss CD. very exciting to have that one too#they're one of my fav bands and i implore everyone who likes unhinged and very experimental and cacophonic rock to check them out#this album (eraser stargazer) isn't the most accessible thing there is out there but i really love it#(i don't even know how to describe it properly. it's just really something to behold anyway)#the plushie is also a gift from my brother!! i'll gladly take any name suggestions for him#oh and also sparks debut album. first album that i own both on CD and vinyl as of today#it's not even that it's my fav sparks album or anything (i do really love it though and it's definitely somewhere in my top ten)#it's just that some albums feel more like they 'fit' with the vinyl format than CD in sound. to me at least#one other example of that besides this one being gratsax#ok i think that's all i have to say about this. one of the most epic hauls of my life that's for sure#OH WAIT one more thing. somewhat unfortunate actually#which is that my brother said he's pretty sure he saw a latte vinyl#but when he passed by that section again like 10 minutes later he already couldn't find it. oh latte.......#it's ok i'll have it one day. i'm really curious what went down there though. did someone really snag it in those 10 minutes???#and yes in case you're worried i did thank my brother profusely for getting me all this#and now i'm going to force him to listen to the TMBG vinyl with me so that he's PREPARED FOR THE CONCERT#that's in 3 months and that he's know about for a year and a half. ok i'm done now#goosepost
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༻¨*:· 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄 ·:*¨༺
༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 remus is used to the same day, and then you come into his life.
༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 please give me some grace. i havent written a full on fic in... a hot second 𖦹 record shop owner!remus x fem!reader (she/her prns) 𖦹 sirius uses he/they prns 𖦹 also. reader moves to england so she doesnt have british accent. yeah. 𖦹 lily evans being the best 𖦹 FLUFF (everyone cheered!) 𖦹 [brief] ANGST (everyone cried!) 𖦹 not proofread
༻¨*:· words ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 2.7k
Routine—a very familiar word to Remus. His days were the same. Wake up, go to work, go home, shower, then sleep. He ate the same thing for breakfast and the same thing for lunch. Dinner was the only thing he frequently changed—maybe one day, he would have pasta, and the next, he would have chicken. He hung out with friends on Saturday, and they went to the same pub every time. The topics were usually the same. Sirius met someone new, someone they claimed to be "The One," only for that person to leave their life. James usually talked about training, Lily, and updates on her pregnancy. Since school ended, things had become... predictable.
You walked into the rickety old record shop, intent on finding your favorite album. It broke on the move to the UK, and you needed it desperately.
Upon hearing the bell ring, Remus looked up. It was part of his routine—to see who had entered his shop—and there you stood, tote bag in hand with messy, windblown hair.
After searching through the Rock section for ages, you practically squeal when you see the album.
Remus looks up as you walk to the counter, "Hi."
"Hi," You smile. Your accent throws Remus off, and he smiles.
He looks at the record, then puts it down, "We have this in a white vinyl," He says, "I— I didn't mark it as colored, so you probably didn't see it. I can go grab it for you?"
You eagerly nod, "That would be fantastic!"
He stands, and you realize how tall he is—it's like he's towering over you.
A moment later, he returns with the other record, "They're hard to come by," He scrawls something on the record sheet, then rings up the album.
You thank him and pay, leaving him to wonder if you'll be back.
The next time you see him, he's with a pretty girl. She's got bleached blonde hair and a cute button nose. She's beautiful. Of course, you recognize the tall man—how could you not? He and the girl make their way to the counter; they both order.
"For Remus," A woman calls out.
Remus—that's his name.
Remus steals glances at you the entire time he's at the coffee shop.
"Who's that?" Marlene asks with a coy smirk.
"I don't know. Came into the shop a couple of weeks ago."
"Oh, so you have a little crush." Marlene is full-on smirking now.
Remus goes red, "What? No." He shakes his head, "No," He repeats, trying to reassure himself that he doesn't have feelings for you.
"Sure," Marlene mutters, taking a sip of her drink.
Remus rolls his eyes.
About a month passes by until you see one another again. You walk into the shop. Remus looks up when the bell rings, and he smiles.
Sirius is there today, and they go up to you.
"What're you looking for?"
You answer, and he leads you to the section as if you don't know the alphabet. He doesn't mean it that way, you know that.
Still, you tease them about it, and their face goes stark red, "Sorry. I just— Sometimes record shops can be confusing in how they order things. Like, when it goes from 'C' to 'D,' does the 'D' section continue on the other side, or does it continue straight across? You know?"
"I'm kidding around," You smile, "I've been here before. Granted, it was just once, but I know how it works. Thank you, though."
"But of course," Sirius curtsies, "Anything for you..."
"Y/n," You introduce yourself.
"I'm Sirius. Like the star," He clarifies, "Like, that's my name. S-i-r-i-u-s," They spell out.
You giggle, "Nice to meet you, Sirius."
"Nice to meet you. I love your silly accent, by the way."
"You're the one with the silly accent," You shoot back.
"Not when my accent is outnumbering yours."
You tilt your head and hum, "Strangely, I understand what you mean."
"It'd be concerning if you didn't."
"Do you frequent this shop a lot?" You ask, flipping through albums.
"My friend is the owner." Sirius shrugs.
You perk up, "Remus?"
Sirius quirks their brow, "You know him?"
You get hot, "No."
He narrows his eyes, "So, how do you know his name is Remus?"
"Well," You whisper, "I came in a while ago. He was really nice when I checked out. Then, a couple of weeks later, I saw him at a coffee shop, and they said his name when his drink was ready."
"You're a creep," Sirius raises his eyebrows.
"No!" You argue.
"Such a creep." Sirius begins walking away; you rush to follow him, "I'm telling him." He says.
You begin to panic, "Wait! No!"
Sirius keeps walking to the front.
"Sirius," You whine, "Stop!"
"Remus!"
You silently will him to stop.
"Remus!" Sirius calls again.
"Lovely lady over here has something to tell you," He smirks.
If looks could kill, Sirius would be six feet under.
"I just– um–" You sputter out, "I just wanted to thank you for helping me with the record last time I was here."
You swear he blushes, but you don't want to look to find out.
"It was no problem," He smiles, "Maybe I could give you a call if any of their other records come in?"
Sirius smirks from the sidelines.
"Um..." It takes a moment to process, "Sure." You nod assertively, "Yeah. I would love that!"
Remus's world has turned upside down—you keep him on his toes. He stays up because, maybe, you'll call tonight. You eat lunch with him sometimes, and gone are the days when he eats the same thing every day. Gone are the days when he closes up shop at 7:00. Gone is routine.
"Do you want to have dinner tonight?" You ask, wrapping the cord around your finger.
"I'm actually going out," Remus responds. You frown, and your imagination runs wild. What if he's going on a date?
"Hello?" He asks, and you realize you've blocked him out.
"Huh? Sorry?"
"I asked if you wanted to come with me. You can meet my mates. If you want." He spits out. Saying it once is nerve-wracking enough; saying it twice is terrifying because what if you say no? What if you don't want to meet his friends? What if–
"I'd love to!" You cut his frantic thoughts off, and his heart swells.
"Really?" He asks.
"Of course!"
So, now, you're standing in front of a random pub, wondering if he's pranking you. It's been about five minutes, and you know that's not a long time to wait, but your anxiety is getting the better of you.
Then, five turns to fifteen, and you're wondering how pathetic you look.
"Y/n?"
Your head whips to the door, "Sirius? When'd you get here?"
Sirius checks their wrist like they're checking a watch, "'Bout half an hour ago. Did the dimwit not tell you to meet us inside?"
You shake your head, "He said to meet him at the bar. So, I guess he didn't quite specify." You shrug.
"Well, come on in," He holds the door open for you.
You thank Sirius and look around for Remus. He's not hard to spot, and Sirius jogs over to their booth before whispering something into Remus's ear. He looks up and smiles brightly.
"You're here!" He exclaims.
"You're here." You say, tone almost scolding him.
Sirius whispers something else to him.
His face drops, "Oh... sorry for not telling you to meet us inside." His mouth quirks to one side in a guilty expression.
You smile, "It's okay. I forgive you." You sit next to him.
"Oh, thank god," He rests his hand on his chest, "A pretty girl being mad at me would've been my death."
Heat blossoms in your chest.
"So..." James begins, "Now that flirt time is over, can I say hello?"
"Ha!" Sirius barks out, "Flirt time!"
Remus gets warm, "This is James, another one of my school friends. James, this is y/n."
All James says is: "You're his lock screen, y'know?"
Remus kicks him under the table.
"I mean–" James smiles, "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I have never seen your face before."
"Smooth," Sirius whispers to James.
You smile at Remus's red face.
"Ignore him, please?" He begs.
You nod.
Sirius and James tell you embarrassing stories about Remus for the rest of the night, and the boy starts to regret introducing you to them as a pair.
At the end of the night, he drops you off.
Rubbing his face, he sighs, "I hope they weren't too much."
You smile brightly, and Remus feels like he could fall to his knees, "I had an amazing time. They're really fun, Remus."
You leave him with a kiss on the cheek—he puts his hand up to the spot and smiles the whole way home.
"I've missed you," You say into the phone.
"I've missed you, too. You should just let me come over." Remus begs for the umpteenth time.
"I don't want to get you sick," You frown, "That would be horrible."
"It wouldn't be the end of the world. We could quarantine together," He smirks, "I could make you soup, and we could cuddle together on the couch and watch some ridiculous rom-com."
"Take a girl out on a date first!" You joke.
"I would if you weren't so busy being poorly." Remus groans.
"So you're asking me out on a date?" You smile and do a little happy dance.
"I guess I am."
He's smug, and you can tell.
A week later, you sit in a fancy restaurant—the kind where the prices aren't even on the menu. Remus is fidgety. He's wearing his nicest button-down, and you think it looks funny on him. He gets red at your comment and looks down at the table with pursed lips.
"I just meant that I'm so used to you wearing those comfy sweaters. You look good, though." You earnestly smile at him.
"You look nice tonight, yourself."
"Well, I'm going on a date with this charming boy. I wanted to impress him."
"I hear he's very impressed."
You insist on paying, but he won't let you. As soon as you pull out your wallet, he snatches it from you.
He kisses you before leaving you at your car, and you don't want it to stop. It's soft and tender, and it's everything you hoped it would be.
One date turns to two, which turns to five, and now you're anxiously pacing in your flat. You're dating Remus; you have been for a few months, and you're not sure when it's an appropriate time to ask the question, but you'll ask tonight. Except Remus doesn't come. He doesn't call, either.
After an hour of worrying, you call Sirius.
"Hello?" He answers—it's obvious he's high.
"Hi. Do you know where Remus is?"
Sirius laughs, "Right here."
"Can I talk to him?"
You hear rustling as Sirius passes the phone.
"Hello?"
"Remus," You whine.
"Hey there. What's going on?" He's calm—too calm. He's also high.
"You were supposed to come over tonight." You frown—it's a fruitless effort. He can't see you.
"Shit. 'M sorry, baby," He frowns, too. You can hear it.
"'S okay. I was just really looking forward to seeing you." You dramatically slide down your wall into a crouching position.
"I'd come over, but, y'know," He wanders off.
"You're so high you can barely walk?" You offer.
He takes it, "Yes."
"It's alright," You sigh, and Remus feels terrible, "Promise you'll come over tomorrow?"
"Promise," He answers.
But then tomorrow comes, and Remus has yet to show up. So you dial his number, but he doesn't pick up. An hour passes until your phone rings, and you're anxious and giddy and hopeful as you pick it up.
"Sorry." Remus's voice is gruff, and you can hear the guilt in his tone.
"It's okay. You can still come over. It's not too late."
"No," He sighs, "I'm sorry, but I can't... I have to break up with you."
Your face drops with your stomach, "What?"
"I can't be with you. I'm— I'm sorry."
"No!" Tears blur your vision, "You can't just tell me we're over. Explain yourself!"
"I just can't do it anymore. It's too hard."
You choke out a sob, "What's too hard? Loving me?"
"No," He sighs, and he sounds tired, oh so tired, "I'm incapable of giving you what you need."
"And who gets to say what I need?"
"Y/n, for your sake, I'm ending this. I can't provide for you in the way you'll need me to."
"Remus," You sigh, "I don't understand. What do you mean you 'can't provide' for me?"
"I can't emotionally be there for you. I'm sorry."
And as you hear the dial tone, you let your sobs out.
You feel empty. Your only friends are Remus's; now you feel like you can't talk to them.
"You're daft," Sirius scolds, "Y/n was lovely, and you break up with her over the phone?!"
Remus hangs his head in shame, "Yeah, I did."
Then Remus looked up and was met with one of his worst fears. He'd been on Lily Evans's bad side more than once, but never like this. He'd only seen this stare a handful of times, but not once was it directed at him, until now.
She marches over to the booth, never breaking her stare, leans close to Remus, and slaps him, "You twat!"
He doesn't know what to say, so he holds his cheek and waits for her to continue.
"You hurt an exceptionally lovely girl for what?! Because you're insecure? Because it was too scary to feel loved so deeply? That girl gave you her all, Remus! And this is how you treat her?" Lily's face is red at the end of her rant, and Sirius tries to hold in their snickers.
Lily narrows her eyes at Remus, "I can read you like a book, Remus Lupin. I know what's going on in that magnificently stupid head of yours! Go apologize to her!"
"I can't," He murmurs, "I've already ruined it."
She rolls her eyes, "You won't know unless you try, and not knowing will eat at you, and you will die confused, sad, and alone."
"She has a point," Sirius agrees, "I mean... we all know you'll just mope around until we push you to talk to her, but by then, it'll be too late. She will have found somebody, and they'll get married, and you'll just be that bloke from when she moved here. Go talk to her."
"What do I say?"
It's almost midnight when a knocking at your door wakes you. Groaning, you get out of bed and make your way to the door.
You undo the bottom lock, keeping the chain in place.
"Yes?" You peek through the crack, surprised to see Remus holding flowers on the other side.
"I'm sorry."
He thinks he's surely blown it when you close the door, but he hears the chain clanking as you fully unlock it.
"What are you doing here?"
Remus wants to cry at the sight of you. Your eyes are bloodshot and puffy, with red tracing your waterline.
"I—" He has a whole script planned out but seems to have forgotten every word, "I have flowers," He settles on.
"For me?"
He nods.
"What are you doing here?" You ask again, taking the flowers.
"I'm here to apologize. I was a dick the other day."
You tilt your head, "You mean the other day when you broke up with me?"
Remus almost doesn't catch the sarcasm, "I'm sorry. I get so caught up in my head—"
You turn from him, "Come in," You mutter as you walk into your kitchen.
He closes the door behind him and toes his shoes off, "I get scared when I let somebody get too close."
"Tea?"
"Yes, please."
He watches as you move around your kitchen, grabbing cups and boiling the water. He's missed you.
"Why let me get close at all, then?"
"Because I like you."
You turn and look at him, "Do you, now?"
Remus sighs, "Look, I fucked up, I know that. Do you think we can try again?"
You walk over to him, "You said you can't give me what I need. What does that mean, Remus?"
"I'm unfit to be with somebody."
"I don't think so. You were wonderful the past three months. So wonderful that I think, if you work on yourself, we can give this another go."
"Can I kiss you?" He asks, leaning in.
"I look terrible," You laugh.
"No," He rests his forehead against yours, "You're always beautiful."
"Kiss me."
hi guys sorry if this is bad😇😇
my lovely mutuals <33 @sepptember @violetteshoneybee @ay0nha @maroon-winestain @prongsio @imabee-oralizard @storyofaromance @queerpumpkinnn @doyouknowwhoyouare13 @zvdvdlvr @reysdriver @g1rld1ary @starsval @vampieteeth @maddipoof @bruisedboys @ell0ra-br3kk3r
#remus lupin#young remus lupin#remus#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus x reader#remus x you#remus x y/n#remus john lupin#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin angst#remus lupin x reader angst#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin x reader fluff#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders era#marauders fic#remus fic#hannah writes ♡
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✧˖°. 𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
masterlist | home | rules
contains: a daughter of aphrodite panicking over our favorite white boy. and vise versa (jason grace x daughter of aphrodite!reader)
warnings: shitty ass writing, language, use of yn, and CRINGE. it's pretty bad, read at your own risk ⚠️
author's note: first fic! also, its probably gonna be bad (because i'm a shit writer 😃) im SO sorry about all the cuts! i cannot write. [send in requests y'all!] ALSO if you see any incorrections, no you didn't.
special mentions: thank you so much @canonfeminine for helping me come up with the joke percy says and @hopelesslyromanticshark because i kinda stole her formatting and her amazing advice (love ya coves!)
final word count: 2,098 words
now playing 𓏧 down bad by taylor swift
jason grace was walking outside cabin 13 when he heard you tweaking.
it was only 11am and it sounded like you had been up all night.
"y'all, you know that one song from taylor's new album? down bad? that's so me about superman." you sighed, "i don't even think he cares about me. not even a little."
"now i'm down bad, crying at the gym. everything comes out teenage petulance. fuck it if i can't have him. i might just die, it'd make no difference." you sang under your breath.
jason peeked in the cabin. he saw you hanging off hazel's bed upside down, piper was on the floor painting her nails, while annabeth was sitting in an armchair, reading, and hazel was at her desk, writing a letter to chiron about why they should have state of the art, gold-plated horse feed. they were only in the hades cabin because nico was with will in the infirmary. (awww <3)
"ma'am, we know all of this before. you never shut about hi-" piper began.
"SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP BEFORE I SHOVE A FOOT DOWN YOUR THROAT."
annabeth made a condescending mom face. "yn," she said gently. "maybe you should go to sleep."
you just glared at her until she looked back at her book (rolling her eyes).
"maybe he does like me! he just doesn't know it yet." you triumphantly said.
piper snorted. you got up, and whacked her with your pillow until she fell over.
"ok, geez, i get it. cough cough bitch." piper um-coughed out.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME? SAYS THE WHORE!"
hazel finally looked up, innocently, from her crazy letter, "ok, girls, let's calm down?"
you and piper obliged, scowling at each other.
"anyway, bACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING. maybe he is in love with me, he just doesn't fucking know it yet!"
"wait, isn't superman jaso-"
"BITCH SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I GO TO THE DAMNED CABIN AND GET THE FUCKING DUCT TAPE. you don't know who the fuck is lurking."
jason took that as his cue to get the fuck out of there.
our favorite white boy RAN to his boys.
he gathered them in percy's cabin. "guys, i just overheard something."
"what? that the superman theme song plays wherever you go?” percy snickered.
while percy and leo... snort-laughed, frank actually asked what happened.
"basically, i was walking past cabin 13 and the girls were in there, right? so i overhear yn saying something about 'superman' and how this song -down bad i think?- relates to them or something."
suddenly all the boys had their thinking faces on.
"what if she's in love with the actor of superman?" frank suggested.
leo had this eerie look on his face. "grow a couple of brain-cells chinese canadian baby man. she's in love with jason."
everyone just looked at leo. "ok, think about it. who the fuck else flies here? only jason. who else flies? superman."
jason thought about it. "that would make sense since piper was about to say my name when yn cut her off-"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD WITH THAT???"
"i didn't think that yn would ever like me back." he said matter-of-factly.
to be fair, jason had a crush on you since he arrived at camp. you were so pretty but you were so lively too. your personality was bright and radiant and maybe a bit crazy. just a bit though. but in a good way!
you just radiated positivity as if you were the sun. to him you could've been.
jason didn't realize he zoned out until leo was about to shove a shoe in his mouth.
"LEO?! WHAT THE FLIP ARE YOU DOING?!"
"oh i got him back guys! you like... died." leo said.
"so you were going to resuscitate me by shoving a shoe in my mouth?"
"yeah, basically!"
jason didn't know what to say to that so he didn't say anything!
"can we get back on track?"
"yes," percy answered. "we shall."
"first things first, we already know that you love yn so much from the bottom of your heart. but how are you going to tell her?" frank asked.
jason was at a loss.
"don't worry, i'll sleep on it."
"hey sparky!" you exclaim.
"oh h-hey yn." you side-eyed him, wondering if he heard your gods-awful conversation yesterday.
then you slapped yourself. (mentally?) of course he wouldn't do that! he's your sweet little superman who you are hopelessly in love with!
"do you wanna race to the top of the lava wall with me? don't be shy, you always lose!" you asked.
"um, i don't think i can today yn, sorry."
you were a little lot disappointed. you just really liked him and he fucking rejects you??? what if you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel the same way? what if you become the laughing-stalk of camp? “k, bye jase.”
after he left you sprinted to your girls.
"BITCHES, CODE RED. WHO HAS AN EMPTY CABIN?"
hazel slowly raised her hand. "just don't mess it up again. if piper doesn't want your foot in her face, don't put it in her goddamn face. ok?"
you scowled at her before sprinting to hazel’s cabin.
you guys took your seats from yesterday.
“JASON WAS ACTING FUCKING WEIIIIRD THIS MORNING.” you glared at piper.
“what the- wHY ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING AT ME?!” piper screeched.
annabeth spoke up, “you were the one who practically said jason’s name.”
“annie. you just said it. SUPERMAN ONLY BITCHES.” you said.
“what if that did happen?” hazel asked. “he’s not a pretty, perfect, goody-two-shoes princess? like you think he is. ”
“YES HE IS SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH HAZEL.”
annabeth, piper, and hazel all just looked at each other, tired with your shit.
“I CAME HERE FOR HELP, NOT THE BITCHY JUDGING COUNCIL!”
"i think she's onto me." jason said to his little boy band.
percy looked up from his game of chess with frank and stroked his chin, "why may that be?"
jason scratched his neck sheepishly, "um, she, like side-eyed me?”
“this is yn we’re talking about. she side-eyes everybody.” leo said.
“BUT NOT ME!” jason panicked.
frank tsked at percy, “what move you gonna make?”
“oh, shut it frank. i’m invested. what else did yn say?”
“i… don’t remember.”
all the boys collectively looked at him.
“I WAS NERVOUS! WHAT IF-”
“SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH!” leo exclaimed. “we need a fucking plan.”
“do you have a plan leo?” frank asked.
“i actually do, frank. gather round children.”
after some meticulous planning, and a couple phone calls, a plan was set.
a prom dress, a boom box, and taylor swift.
exciting right?
it was two days after that stupid conversation (that jason totally didn't overhear).
annabeth, piper and hazel came to drag you from your seat at the docks where you were reading an angsty romance (like the sad emo girl you were after being rejected by the love of your life).
"what the fuck do you whores want?"
"ok rude," annabeth replied, "but you have to come with us."
"we have something exciting for you!" hazel said enthusiastically.
you looked at hazel, "haze, 'excitement', does not exist for me anymore. ever since the love of my goddamned life rejected me- "
piper cut you off, "ok shut up yn. first of all, he didn't even reject you. he just said he can't climb the lava wall with you. just come with us. please don't make a big deal about it."
you looked at the girls suspiciously, "what's in it for me?"
the girls shared a look, "that's a secret. but believe me, everything's in it for you."
"i look like a fucking bratz doll!" you screeched.
"ok, so?" piper replied. "I DON'T WANNA LOOK LIKE A DOLL THAT GOT BOTCHED PLASTIC SURGERY!"
piper was doing and messing up your makeup while annabeth and hazel were looking for a good outfit.
"also miss bitchy," you said, "why am i wearing this much makeup? and why is annabeth and hazel trying so hard to find an outfit?"
piper could see that you were clearly becoming suspicious. she just gave you a small (knowing) smile, "oh don't worry about it sweet."
you were about to jump her when hazel and annabeth came holding ... a prom dress and two inch heels?
“are you shitting me? what the fuck is this?” you asked.
“yn, just put it the fuck on! no. arguments. ” piper said.
you weren’t someone to refuse looking good. (even if piper messed up your makeup.) “fine, but i’m watching y’all.”
they nodded while you went to the bathroom to change.
you came out and hazel to do the back. “ok, how do i look?” you asked, deadpan.
“yn! you look stunning!” hazel exclaimed.
you looked decent. you had an old prom dress that the aphrodite cabin just happened to have and slightly crusty heels.
“this will definitely work. he’ll be drooling all over her.” piper said to annabeth.
you were so confused, what the fuck is happening?
"excuse me? what's going on? cause i am about to shit my pants." you said.
annabeth, hazel, and piper just looked at each other and said, "don't worry about it dear." and burst out laughing. (about what? that wasn't even funny???)
suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"oh my fucking gods, who is it?!" you shout.
piper looked at you. "chill," she opened the door, "hey leo."
"why is leo here?!" she ignored you! leo pulled her outside, when she came back she nodded to annabeth and hazel.
"ok yn! time for your surprise!" hazel said, knowingly.
then, hazel blindfolded you, annabeth and piper grabbed your legs, while leo grabbed your arms. while you were screaming to satan.
next, y'all went on your merry way going gods-know-where!
suddenly you were dropped straight on the fucking ground so hard your ass hurt and all your bindings slipped off.
you were in the middle of the fucking woods. and you could distantaly hear hazel, piper, leo and annabeth running away.
really where you were dropped was gorgeous. you were at a clearing in the middle of the woods. it was around sunset so everything was lit up with the golden sunlight streaming through the leaves. you could hear the faint sound of a creek in the distance.
all of sudden you heard footsteps. you got up of your ass and cursed under your breath when you realized you have no knifes because somebody took them from you.
you turned toward the sound when you saw him.
jason, all dressed up in a matching suit.
"oh, h-hi jason. whatcha doing here?"
"oh, just waiting for a pretty girl so i can give her a dance."
you looked around confusedly. "jase, i think you went the wrong way. all the pretty girls are back at camp."
he chuckled, then pulled a boombox from his ass. "would you give me this dance milady?"
you were so so so baffled. what was happening? but your heart belonged to him. "um, sure?"
he clicked play on the boombox and 'you belong with me' by taylor swift started playing. he grabbed your hands and placed them on his shoulders. (TRUST ok? they're waltzing to "you belong with me", but its fine.
you felt like your heart was going a million miles a second but in slow motion at the same time. you were panicking but you felt so content.
the bridge was playing and you realized how much the song relates to you and jason.
you guys were best friends before you something happened two days ago.
y'all knew each other better than the back of your hand.
he would bring you ice cream when you were on your period and when you weren't.
anytime he had to go on a quest without you he brought you souvenirs.
you told each other about your crazy dreams. like when elmo was chasing you down rodeo drive.
the song ended.
"i-" you looked up.
"um-" jason cut you off.
"you go first." you were terrified, your heart pounding in your chest.
"well, i've had the biggest crush on you, yn. since i arrived, really-"
you cut him off, pulling his mouth to your own.
you were in euphoria for a minute until you both pulled away.
"soooo?" you were giddy, "what now?"
jason looked thoroughly confused, you were too. "i don't know but we'll get through it together."
your cold heart melted a little at that.
"i have a question," you asked, walking away. "did you have a crush only because of my fat ass?"
"oh my gods, yn!"
author's note: so yeah um... there it is. it sucks, i kinda hate it but i thought it was a good idea and i wanted to start writing.
#dividers by bunnysrph#⊹₊ ⋆ may’s creations#jason grace x reader#jason grace x aphrodite!reader#daughter of aphrodite
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Song of the Day #24:
'Mile Magnificent' by Molly OfGeography (released 2019).
youtube
An apartment when it's empty echoes lovely, bright and clean
Sing odes to green-blue water that we stole so it comes free
All things end, it's part of living; forest fires feed the trees
Lift your glasses full of sunshine, sing a toast to gasoline
Track #4 on 'Myths'.
Fun fact: Molly refers to this song as 'The Song My Producer Said I Was Not Allowed To Name “CHICAGO IS BETTER THAN NEW YORK”'.* Honestly, her descriptions for so of the songs on this album are hilarious:
'1) The Song That Made My Producer Go, “Wait, What Was That Bit About Worms?”
2) The Song My Producer Said I Had To Append A Parenthetical To So That People Would Be Able To Find It Because The Lyrics Never Mention The Title Once But I Was Raised On Fanfiction So Joke’s On You, Pal! I Love A Long Title With A Parenthetical In It!!!
3) The Song That Is Sad'
Pretty dang accurate, honestly. Also, I think she has a Tumblr!!! *Gasp.* What if I...tag her???
@ofgeography Hiiii and thank you, your music is amazing.
I did it bees and knees (yes, this is my hip modern way of including every kind of person, fight me or provide more hilarious options; I'm content with either option).
I have had a fun time perusing this flavourful dose of humanity's wild website and I think my fun fact today should be her story where she becomes a donut god:
You're welcome, singular entity that reads this blog (that entity being my sister and/or the rogue bots, doesn't matter, we're all friends here).
Personal blurb: Alright, full disclosure time: I discovered this artist because of the 'Good Omens' fandom. Someone said we were missing out on feelings and shared this song, and when I tell you I felt those feelings, I certainly don't mean that I danced to this on repeat for several months (and her 'Hanahaki (Bloom)'), often at 3 in the morning in the bathroom. Of course not.
youtube
Pro tip: dancing with your toothbrush in your mouth is a choking hazard, but in the spirit of Alanis Morissette, I recommend doing it anyway:
youtube
One of my favourite books in the world is 'The Overstory' by Richard Powers. In it, one of the themes that arises often is the concept of pyrophitic serotinous plants (it's okay, I won't remember it either). They are plants that need fire to open. (There are actually different types of pyrophitic plants, from passive to fire-activated but I probably shouldn't start talking about that because you'll need to pull out the duct tape.)
(Technically, 'serotinous' plants are a category in which plants release seeds over a longer period of time, and it doesn't matter how they are released, but the seeds that open by fire fit into this category.) The eucalyptus tree, the lodgehole pine, and other trees encase their seeds in resin that can only be melted by fire (thereby releasing the seeds).
The thing that I love about this concept is this: we need to burn to grow. I recently read this book called 'Life in Oil' about the Cofàn tribe in Ecuador who were drastically impacted by oil companies. And the thing was: Yes. They were impacted horribly (physically, psychologically, environmentally, the works). They also survived. They figured out, through tumult and trial and falling apart, how to keep going.
This song screams to me of that same instinct. I mean, look at us. This is what we do, isn't it? We fight, we fall, we continue. We're just like every other aspect of nature in that we are born, and in our fight to continue, we impact everything around us. We're just a part of the cycle and eventually we will decay back to where we belong and serve as soil for our children. And all we'll be? A story. And after a while, not even that. Just a whisper of what was.
In a way? I find that freeing. We might as well live the life we want to live; how little it will matter. (This isn't absolution, please don't go murdering people.) I just mean that I don't have to put so much weight into every little thing. Not everything has to be joyful or depressing (and if we really think about it, everything is always a balance of both). It can just be what it is.
We are as we are. And we don't have to love ourselves for it, but we don't have to hate ourselves either.
I love the lyrics to this song. For a long time, I misheard 'We're animals of love/ the city never makes us beg' as 'the city never makes us pay' and I don't know why? But I kind of like that image.
We are animals of love. And that's okay.
We are the cogs in a continuous cycle and we always will be.
I think often of this monologue (content warning for the video, it's gory, but you don't need to watch it, you can just listen) from 'Midnight Mass' so often, in regards to this:
youtube
We just are. Everything just is.
#Youtube#midnight mass#mike flanagan#the overstory#richard powers#molly ofgeography#good omens#alanis morissette#this got way more existential than i planned#oop#life in oil#cofàn tribe
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THE WORD NO ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅
| percy jackson x popstar au
| au masterlist ☽
warnings: swearing
a/n: hello there!! im actual having so much fun writing this series and every so often a new idea will come to me and im just like YES I LOVE THAT WRITE U LAZY SHIT. (does the screaming at myself work? sometimes like right now) hence why we're here on a randomly tuesday. also this is shorter because im dying and need to sleep so bad
☾. ⋅
"i'm gonna throw up!" lia groans from her chair.
"get over it you oversized walrus."
"WALRUS?"
you sit back in your chair watching as your two friends bicker over cake. not even fighting over who gets the last piece, but who ate the most and who is gonna be the sickest.
"I AM NOT A WALRUS THANK YOU VERY MUCH-"
"do they always argue this much?" the voice of the person you'd hoped to forget about asks. you barely contain your eye roll as you turn to him.
"yes. it gets rather annoying when they start to act like middle schoolers." i say getting louder with each word. lia shoots me an offended look and riley all but leaps out of her chair and launches the throw pillow she was sitting on at me. she says high school was the worst years of her life and never wants to hear us talk about her from back then.
"i'm sorry i can't hear you over here talking about shit i don't know about," she smiles fakely and sits back down returning to her bickering.
"did that answer your question?"
"...yeah."
"y/n! percy!" stacey calls walking into your living room.
both of you groan in unison when you see stacey and lauren walking towards you with serious faces. you shoot percy an annoyed look and smile - painfully - up at stacey. "whats up?"
"its your birthday this weekend y/n."
percy's eyes flick to you clearly not knowing that.
"and what would you like us to do about that?" you ask stacey.
she pauses and looks at lauren for conformation, when lauren nods she continues on. "we'd like you to announce your relationship. go public. on your birthday. or well more like at your birthday party."
another pause.... "with a kiss."
"what the fuck?" both of you say again. stacey and lauren hid grins behind obviously faked sincere looks.
"I know this might suck-"
might suck. right cause we're obvisouly besties that have been joined at the hip from the womb and are secretly in love with each other. sure.
"but, with y/n's new album announcement coming out soon we thought it would boost both of your statuses." stacey smiles trying to convince you.
"i don't need the extra publicity!" you snap your head to percy. "oh for the love of god, can you shut up while i'm trying to talk? you're acting like we're old withered and grey and trying to sync our sentences so we say the same shit as we die."
a snort erupts from across the room where the bickering has now stopped and lia and riley have their heads buried in a pillow to stop from laughing.
"just think it over yeah?" stacey says to you as lauren drags a reluctant percy away to talk. "we literally came to this resort so we could get pictures for the two of you, it was a four hour flight. a kiss shouldn't be too bad."
"yeah for you," you grumble as stacey walks out shaking her head.
"believe me i would love to take your place," lia says plopping down in the seat next to you.
"of course you would."
"i could never not do something like that how could you?" she huffs.
"the word 'no' lia, its pretty cool."
"besides your party is the best place to do it. and the theme is going to be amazing. black and white baby!"
"shh walrus clearly y/n is going through something right now!" riley shakes her head.
"excuse me?"
you groan. its going to be a long night.
☾. ⋅
next week.
percyjackson posted
yn.official posted
☾. ⋅
☾. ⋅
TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you]
@lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle,
@azure-drag0ness, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus,
@avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, @user-3113s-blog, @officiallyalbino
@gloryhaddock, @kozumesphone, @moonlightwonderlan, @starxshining, @taintedrosee
@lovelyygirl8, @cleothefrogo, @sungjinwoomybeloved, @hearts4li, @amandareids
@mirrorballdickinson, @gabrielle-tia, @riordanness
#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson x you#percy jackon x y/n#percy x you#percy x reader#percy x y/n#percy jackson#percy jackson fanfic#percy jackson fic#fanfic#fanfiction#emma writes ₊˚⊹⋆#percy and the popstar au
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