#Also even if headphones would have made the situation bearable enough for me
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louve-garoue · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I feel like my mom and sis really don't know just how much I take upon myself for them and they are definitely not good at returning the favor
#I know it probably happen the other way around too#But SIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#Yes yes I ruined you're fun but I was trying to not have a meltdown back then do you mind ?#vent in the tags btw#Also it's not like I asked that big of a favor seriously#“Oh it's your fault for not bringing your headphones”#First headphones are not miracle worker especially with how loud everything was#And I'm sure you would have the same reaction if I asked you to quiet the music instead of changing it#Second I never needed them before ?? They help but it never got to the point of them being a need ???#Like I have no idea where the idea that it had came from#You may be deluding yourself here tbh#Stop trying to say that my sis and I are both responsible Mom#There was no way I could have predicted this would get this bad#Also even if headphones would have made the situation bearable enough for me#To just go 'oh yeah no need to make a fuss let's just endure this'#I WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN FUCKING MISERABLE#I get that you wanted to enjoy yourself#But I would have liked to enjoy myself too you know instead of swallowing in my frustrations#Actually fuck this shit I'm realizing that I've letting other have their way#without voicing my dislike of them so much#That people are starting to not only step over boundaries#But also get upset when I finally tell them that they need to stop#And of course this lead to a whole bunch of misunderstanding#Because I made them think there was no problem in the first place#FUCK#I need to speak up more#But I know it's going to be hard#Because well there is a reason I rather shut myself up before#Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurg I hate it here#*Heavy Sigh*
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stargayzingidiot · 4 years ago
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In The Eye of The Storm
Previous chapter | Chapter five | Next chapter
Summary: In a world where some people are blessed with powers, Patton feels cursed.  
This chapter: Patton meets Logan
Characters: Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders
Pairings: Eventual romantic Moxiety, brotherly Analogical
Words: 1417
---
Patton and Virgil had been texting for about a week before Patton mustered up the courage to set up a meeting with Virgil and his brother at their apartment.
It was raining a bit, and Patton was carefully walking up the street.
Virgil had recommended wearing headphones and listening to distracting music to tune out the thoughts when he was outside. He had even made Patton a playlist with some of the music he listened to when anxiety got the best of him, as well as some songs he thought Patton would like.
Right now, a song from My Chemical Romance was playing. It was bringing Patton back to when he sat alone in the bathroom, listening to music while eating lunch in school. That was before he dropped out because he couldn’t concentrate and moved to online school instead.
Patton was actually kind of mad at himself for not thinking about the idea before. It would have made so many grocery-trips a lot more bearable. But he was extremely grateful that Virgil had cared enough to give him the advice. He still didn’t think he deserved any of the kindness, though.
The music helped a lot. He could still hear the thoughts of the people walking past him, but it was more muffled and much easier to ignore. 
He was so distracted that he almost bumped into someone. Patton realized that he had also missed a turn. He walked back, and it didn’t take long before he stood in front of a tall apartment building.
This was it, Virgil’s apartment.
Patton saw two signs on the front door.
“Emile Picani: Specialized ability therapist”
“Power work-out! Get control - Remy Aureli”
Patton’s heart skipped a beat. 
‘those must be the people Virgil told me about’ he thought.
He got nervous all of a sudden. Thoughts of failure plaguing his mind. What if he couldn’t get control? What if this was all there was? A life full of noise. But the small voice of hope made him ring the doorbell.
It didn’t take long before he was buzzed in. They lived on the highest floor, but Patton chose to take the stairs to get time to collect his thoughts.
Patton had barely knocked on the door one time before it was opened. Before him stood a tall man with slicked-back hair, a button-up, and glasses. He must have been by the door when Patton reached it. 
“Ah, salutations, you must be Patton. I’m Logan. A pleasure to meet you,” the man said as he reached his hand out to Patton. 
He slowly took it, still getting over the shock of how quickly the door was opened.
“Hi. Nice to meet you too,” he said, trying to smile. He was not sure he was succeeding, though.
Then he heard Virgil from inside the apartment.
“Invite him in, Lo. I can feel his nervousness all the way from over here,”
Patton felt a smile tuck on his lips as he heard Virgil’s voice, but he quickly forced it down when he saw Logan staring.
They went to the kitchen, where Virgil had already put down three cups of steaming hot tea. When he saw Patton and Logan walk in, he gave them a small smile and a wave.
“Oh, um, small question, Logan,” Patton said, waiting for Logan to acknowledge that he was talking before continuing, “how did you open the door so fast? I feel like I didn’t even knock before you opened,”
Logan looked confused for a second. For him doing stuff fast was an everyday occurrence. He sometimes forgot he did it.
“Ah, I can see why that would be confusing,” he said “I was blessed with the power of speed,”
Patton flinched at the word ‘blessed’ and Virgil felt his discomfort at the mention.
“Okay, let’s sit. I would like to drink my tea before it gets cold for once,” he said, trying to lift the mood.
Patton gave him a small smile, and Logan huffed.
“Maybe you should stop forgetting about the tea and then finding it days after,” Logan chuckled.
“That was one time! I mostly just forget about it for thirty minutes!” Virgil protested.
Patton’s discomfort had shifted to delight, and Virgil couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips. It was nice feeling something other than sadness from him.
They sat down and started talking. Patton briefly wondered why he didn’t hear much of Logan’s thoughts, but then he remembered why he couldn’t hear Virgil’s and just figured that his brother learned to control his thoughts better too. It was nice to have a conversation without all the extra noise. Now that he thought about it, Patton couldn’t recall when the last time he had more than a brief conversation with someone was.
The conversation carried on for hours. They talked about everything from movies to music.
He could get used to that, having people to talk to.
But the nagging thought that it would all eventually crash and burn was still there.
“So, Patton, you remember those people I told you about at the park?” Virgil asked, “the ones who might be able to help you?”
Virgil felt the spike of excitement in Patton, and it was impossible to stop the smile it brought to his face.
“Yes!” he answered but quickly became embarrassed by how loud he was. “I mean, um, yeah, I think I saw their signs outside earlier?”
Virgil didn’t even try to stop the chuckle that came out of him. He could feel the small sliver of hope blossoming in Patton’s chest. 
“Yeah, they work in this apartment. I’ve already talked with them, and they’re more than happy to help you,”
Patton threw his arms around Virgil and kept muttering ‘thank yous’. Virgil made sure to absorb a bit of the pain still residing in his new friend. Enough so that it would make a difference whilst Patton also wouldn’t notice he had done it.
Logan watched the hug from the sofa. He wasn’t much of a touchy person, so he was okay just knowing that Patton appreciated what they were doing for him. Logan knew his brother, though, and he could see that this supposed destructive, evil man was special to him. He really hoped there was more to the vision than what he saw. His brother deserved someone who could make him smile like this. Logan wished with all his might that this whole thing wouldn’t blow up in their faces and hurt Virgil.
“Oh, Patton, one more thing,” Virgil said after they had finished the hug, “since Remy and Emile are here in this building, you are more than welcome to stay in our guest bedroom if that would be easier than traveling every time you have an appointment,”
“Really? Are you sure? I mean, I don’t know. I don’t want to be a bother -” Patton blabbered on nervously before Logan interrupted him.
“We assure you that it is fine, Patton. We are here to help,”
“Then yes! I think I would really like that,”
‘Good’ Logan thought, ‘now we can keep an eye on him’
“Keep an eye on me?” Patton asked, confusion painted on his face.
Virgil sensed Logan’s panic and stepped in.
“Yeah, of course, Pat, we want to make sure you’re okay,”
“Oh, okay, thank you,” he replied, feeling a flutter in his stomach upon hearing the nickname.
He looked at the clock and realized how late it had gotten. It made him sad that he had to leave, but the animals at the pet shop he worked at needed him.
“I’m sorry, I really have to leave now if I want to keep my job. I can’t thank you enough for this,” he said, walking out to get his jacket and shoes.
“It’s okay. I’ll text you later to figure out how we’ll do the whole move thing, alright?” 
“Okay, Virge” Patton nodded, gave Virgil and Logan a smile, and waved goodbye.
And just like that, the brothers were once again alone in the apartment. Just like Patton had a few moments before, Virgil felt warmth swirling inside when he heard the nickname. 
While Virgil was busy blushing, Logan was already thinking about how they would go about this whole situation. The easy part was getting Patton to their apartment. He made a mental checkmark now that that had been accomplished. The hard part was figuring out why Patton was going to destroy the city and how to stop him.
---
Heya, writing will probs be a bit lazy from now on. I just wanna get the story out lol.
Taglist for this fic: @radioactivehelena @residentanchor @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth @magpiemorality @the-office-cat @fandomfan315 @croftersjam15 @kawaiikat54 @chaoticturtledream @sunshineluve @aricana8 @wellhellothere09 @librowyrm @rainbowemonightmare @trash-noodle @irritating-lady-knight
General taglist: @naturaldee-saster @ent-is-undecisive @patton-pending-123 @anxiousnotaesthetic @gayformlessblob @idont-freaking-know
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tyunniverse · 5 years ago
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Midnight Crisis
pairing: huening kai x reader
genre: fluff (?)
word count: 1728
synopsis: huening kai gets woken up by his neighbor's alarm every midnight and finally decides to do something about it
There it is again.
Kai lies awake in his bed, eyes heavy and dark circles evident. He stares at the ceiling, trying his best to cancel out the noise that's been plaguing his mind for countless nights but to no avail. He's grown to hate the noise with each passing day. It's been like this ever since he moved in two months ago.
The first night was bearable, he'd assumed that his neighbor had something important to do at midnight. After all, it wasn't unusual for a college student to be up that late to finish an assignment. The first week was excusable. Kai figured that they must be working on an extremely important project that couldn't wait until morning to be finish. The next few weeks were hell. He thought he'd be immune to the alarm blasting through his walls but he wasn't. It sounds off for five minutes and after that, waits another five minutes more to go off again. His suffering doesn't end until it nears 1 am, and if he's lucky, it'll end before 00:30. This became the norm for Kai.
But the alarm had been going off for more than an hour. A hundred thoughts go through Kai's mind. Should he just try to go back to sleep? At this point that seemed impossible. He'd tried a hundred times before and it never worked. Should he just stay up until it ends? He'd be tired by morning but that's the safest possible decision. But what if this goes on until sunrise? He can't risk falling asleep in class when he had a presentation first thing in the morning.
Kai bunches the his blanket in his hands. "Why me?" He groans, shifting to the side to check his phone. His classmate, Beomgyu, had left him a message a few hours ago.
Hyuka, I can't make it to class tomorrow. I'm at the hospital with my roommate. Sorry, but I think you have to do the presentation on your own tomorrow. I promise I'll make it up to you.
Great.
Given the news and the loud pinging of the alarm, Kai decides that he has had enough. He can't deal with the stupid alarm going off every night, especially when he really needed the rest.
He hops out off bed, grabbing a hoodie from his closet and putting it over his shirt before storming out of his room.
You were beyond tired.
The classes you had on that day had all conducted tests, leaving your brain fried by the time you got home. You immediately pass out once you reached the comfort of your bed, not even caring to change out of your clothes. Your mind peacefully drifts into sleep, remembering that you had something to look forward to at 1 am.
You never forget to set your alarm. Sometimes, it was hard waking up in the middle of the night when you're having such a good time sleeping, but you made sure that it went off every five minutes until you're forcibly awoken by it's blaring sound.
The drama your best friend, Soobin, had recommended to you had been the highlight of your day since the beginning of the semester. School has been nothing but the source of your stress and you found that watching the new episodes every night helped you get through it and prepare yourself for anything to come. Little did you know that your energy booster had become the bane of someone else's existence.
"Excuse me!"
You were woken up by the sound of loud banging on your door. Having just come to your senses, your eyes wander to you phone that had been blasting your alarm since 12 am. You reach out to it, checking the time and panicking once you saw that it was way past the time slot for your drama. It was about to finish.
"Shit." You scramble towards your laptop, hoping to at least see if there was still hope to watch it until your attention was brought back to the loud banging on your door.
"Excuse me! Is anyone in there?"
You frown. "Who the hell disturbs people in the middle of the night?"
The place was quiet for a while until the banging came back. You take one last glance at your laptop before treading towards the door. You grab anything heavy along the way in case things get a little weird with your unexpected visitor.
Kai rubs his eyes as he waits for his neighbor's door to swing open. His ears perk up when he hears shuffling behind the door. It opens for about an inch wide, raising a few questions in Kai's mind.
"Do you need something?" You speak out from behind the door.
Kai's brows knit as he leaned a little closer. "It's me, Huening Kai, from room 208. I need to talk to you about something but isn't refusing to open your door a little rude?"
"Oh, sorry." You relax once you realize that the visitor wasn't a threat. You'd seen him a lot on your way to your room but you've never interacted before. All you know was that he seemed like a pretty nice guy. "Ah," You look up at him. He looked kinda cute despite his tired look. His messy hair had almost entirely covered his eyes and his hoodie had a molang print on the side. "But isn't it also a little rude to bang at your neighbor's door at 1 am?" You ask him, brows raised.
Kai purses his lips, trying his best to hold off on snapping at you. He was truly at his limit. "Not when that neighbor has kept me up for the past two months with their stupid alarm?"
"What are you— oh." You cut yourself off upon realizing the entirety of the situation. Maximum volume. You had set your alarm at maximum volume to make sure you never missed an episode. It had barely been effective on you but it sure did its work on your neighbor. In hindsight, you should've seen this coming.
Kai watches as you space out and decides to just tell you then and there instead of waiting for you to invite him inside. "Uh, listen." His hands fidget, trying to get through the awkwardness. "You must have something important to do but please be responsible with your alarm. It's ringing has kept me awake since the start of the semester and I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since. I have a presentation later and I really need to get some sleep before that, so can you please tone the alarm down or just shut if off? I don't think I can survive another night like this."
There he had it.
Kai felt a bit better. He should've done this sooner. His problems would've been solved by then. He figured that you'd apologize and stop your alarms since by now, the two of you have probably reached an understanding.
"I understand your side, I really do." You tell him, looking up at his now smiling form. "But I can't lower the volume." His smile disappears.
"What?"
"I can't wake up if it's not at maximum volume. Please understand, I need this in order to wake up." You insist.
Kai didn't know how to react. He'd been so sure that you'd cooperate that any other responses would have rendered his mind blank. "What?" He repeats. "Then, can you at least tell me why it's so important for you to be awake at this hour?"
You cant. You can't tell him.
The moment he finds out that you were willing to sacrifice his sleep for the drama you've been watching, he'd never let you hear the end of it. "I have a project and it needs to be finished by tomorrow."
Kai crosses his arms, frowning. "So you're saying you have an important project every single night?"
You hold your breath. "Yes?"
"Yes?" Kai scoffs. "Please tell me you're joking."
"I'm serious!" You wage him off. "I really do have one!"
Kai takes a peek at your room and sighs. "Then bring it here. The least you can do is prove that you're telling the truth. I can't keep suffering like this, Y/N."
Hearing your name made you nervous. Of course he'd known your name, he had delivered your packages a few times when it ended up in front of his doorstep by mistake. What's worse, he wanted you to show him the project you made up on the spot to hopefully escape the situation. Your mind goes blank, and there's only one thng that passes through it despite being fully aware that this solution was only temporary.
"I'm sorry!"
"Huh?"
Kai freezes in his spot as the door slams shut in his face. He hears you run back imto the safety of your room and he's left standing there, speechless. It takes him a few seconds to register what had just happened.
"Hey!" He reaches out for your door knob, twisting it a few times before giving up and knocking on the door. "Y/N? Y/N! Open up! We're still not done talking!" He knocks a few more times. "Hey!"
You snicker, hellbent on ignoring him and focusing on what's left of your show. Even if it's just the ending of the episode, it was enough to at least get you through tomorrow.
The episodes starts loading after a few clicks and you move to get your headphones. That's when you realize that Kai had finally stopped bothering you for the night. A smile creeps in your face as you feel a mixture of relief and guilt. "I'm sorry, Kai, but I need this."
You plug your headphones in and was about to focus on the episode when a loud alarm starts blasting through the walls of your room. Eyes wide, you check your phone to see if your alarm had beem turned off. It had been dead ever since you got up, which meant that the sound could only be coming from the room next door.
You jump when you hear a rather loud laugh coming from Kai's room, followed by him banging on your shared wall. Your phone buzzes with a notification and you check it.
Hey there, neighbor! If I'm not gonna get any sleep then so are you. Suffer with me >3<
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localkatshelter · 4 years ago
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Okame’s Underbelly: Anticipation |1st|
(Shinso x OC)
Katsumi's POV (localvillageidiot#0870) and Shinso's POV (hecker#8339)
Summary:
 Two people with a common passion meet unexpectedly during one of Shinso's lowest moments. He'd like to forget it ever happened but Katsumi has her own reasons for not letting it go. Through push and pull, they struggle to understand one another, regardless they can't keep away from each other.
Preview: 
| How long have I been staring at myself in the fucking mirror? My eyes look so dead...but don’t they always. I realized the extra lifelessness wasn’t due to my overall apathy or shitty eyeliner; it was due to them being red and puffy. That’s no good. I hurriedly searched through the cabinet for my eye drops. They were usually used for another purpose, but today, they’ll be used to disguise the fact that I had been crying. |
(Katsumi's POV)
My head fell forward for the millionth time as I struggled to stay awake for the last five minutes of my summer remedial science lab. Why does science have to be so boring? This fucking professor always lectures for the full three hours too. How could someone possibly have this much to say about chlorophyll? All I could do was watch the clock tick by until, finally, the class was dismissed. I gathered my things as quickly as possible and headed towards my dorm building. Throwing my things onto the kitchen table, I immediately started to strip and headed towards the bathroom. The silver lining in having to come to campus in the summer for my remedial class? Getting to move in early and having the whole suite to myself. I showered quickly and put on my typical Friday night attire: some broken-in mom jeans that I embroidered and had a friend paint on paired with a comfortable faded band t-shirt I had stolen from a partner I had long forgotten the name of, tucked and held in place with some old belt I fished out of a Good Will bin a few years ago. I hummed as I put on some clear lipgloss and touched up my hair. Perfect. I made sure to set out some dinner for my fat cat who was hiding somewhere in my bedroom, likely in my sheets. For a supposed emotional support animal, I never saw much of her unless she was in the mood to cuddle, which was usually at night.
“Harley, I’m going out. I’ll be back.” I called out.
She meowed from the bed in response. I grabbed my things from the table and tossed them into my bedroom before popping my headphones in and heading out the door. I was on my way to the only place that made my summer Fridays bearable: The Squeaky Wheelhouse.
After a short while, I walked up to a dark and disheveled, yet oddly charming, building. This was my hidden gem, the highlight of my college career, a place where artists gathered to share their work and critique the world around them without fear. Friday nights were open mic nights for spoken word poetry, which I didn’t think I would like until I heard Okame perform. Their words about the plights of the world of heroism and comic book celebrities brought to life really resonated with me. Most of their pieces were critiques on how heroes navigate their jobs and how they are treated by the government, the people, and each other. I admired the way they captured the duality of appreciating heroes for what they are while also not feeling a need to bow to them as if they were gods. It felt so real to me, especially because around the same time I first heard their work, I had started my photojournalism blog on a similar topic. It was really just a love project at first. I would take pictures of heroes in the heat of battle and use them to show how human they really are. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it was me or my quirk that had the idea first. My hyperempathology quirk sometimes had a mind of its own. It was always dragging me into situations that I had no business being in. I always ended up manipulating someone's emotions to make them feel better, which had positive and negative results. On the one hand, I was glad that I could make someone feel better. On the other hand, it made me feel like shit because not only did I manipulate someone’s emotions without permission; I also absorbed the negative emotions I had alleviated. In a strange sense, the blog was my own way of alleviating myself of what I had alleviated. I had never expected it to take off either, but there I was, a month later, still taking pictures of heroes in their most desperate and vulnerable state in an effort to humanize them. I kept at it because, well, they are people after all. They aren’t gods, they have emotions, but the way the media and the government build a hero’s image doesn’t allow for much expression. It’s unfair to them; it's as if they aren't allowed to be people anymore. I had always thought I was alone in that, but apparently, I’m not. My blog has a pretty decent following now, which I am super proud of. Although I’m pretty sure that a lot of people in the hero community despise or at least dislike me for basically being renegade paparazzi.
Oh well. No one knows it’s me who runs the blog. The closest anyone has ever gotten was when someone traced my IP address back to the college campus, but Kyoto University has upwards of 22,000 students enrolled. There’s no way someone would be able to find me out as long as I don’t use my personal electronics to post. Okame had also become a popular performer at the Wheelhouse and had a sort of residency time slot on Friday nights. It was weird, but I was proud of them too. I felt like we were similar, almost connected by our mutual views and creative outlets. On top of that, they used a pseudonym and a ghost performer just like I used a pen name and hid my IP address for my work. All of the aligning characteristics made me think we would get along if we ever met, but that’ll probably never happen.
I walked into the building, waving to the Friday night staff that I had gotten to know over the summer. I took a seat on a comfortable looking armchair near the back corner of the main room that had a decent view of the small performance stage. I opened up a book that I brought with me to read until the performances started. I ordered a large mint tea and settled in, anticipating Okame’s latest insight.
(Shinso's POV)
I had bitten my lips raw at this point. There’s no way it’s actually over. We’ve broken up so many times before, and we’ve always managed to hash it out. But this time felt different. She wasn’t returning my texts with curt responses. She wasn’t posting about me subliminally on her social media to piss me off. She didn’t show up at my house with the gifts I had given her and dramatically throw them at me. No angry voicemails. No tears. No nothing. The strangest part was that her last text wished me well, even though I ended it this time around. All of it almost felt like a real goodbye. But still, there’s no way.
I had to talk to her tonight to make sure. Throughout our whole relationship, despite our arguing, we never missed a Friday at The Squeaky Wheelhouse. That was our way to ease the stress from the strife of the week prior. No matter how mad we were, we would still begrudgingly sit together and enjoy the show. By the end of the night, we would always manage to soften towards each other once again. Even if my piece of the week was bitterly aimed at her, she still respected me enough to put my voice out there and perform it for me. That’s what I loved about her. She knew attention made me squeamish and vulnerability was definitely not my favorite pastime. I shared the document that contained today's piece with her. It was an apology. She could barely squeeze those out of me normally, so she had to know I was deadly serious this time around. I tried not to envision her reaction or dwell on whether or not she would even accept my apology because it made me so anxious that I wanted to jump out of my skin.
How long have I been staring at myself in the fucking mirror? My eyes look so dead...but don’t they always. I realized the extra lifelessness wasn’t due to my overall apathy or shitty eyeliner; it was due to them being red and puffy. That’s no good. I hurriedly searched through the cabinet for my eyedrops. They were usually used for another purpose, but today, they’ll be used to disguise the fact that I had been crying. Save those tears for later, Shinso. She’s seen me cry even less than she’s heard me apologize. Numbness was the best blanket I’ve ever had. But tonight, I’ll avoid covering myself up. I need to show her that I care because I’m known to fucking suck at it. After I applied the drops, I roughly ran my fingers through my torturously messy violet mane, exhaling heavily. I tried to dress up a little this Friday. I know it’s trivial, but I want to be my best for her tonight. My outfit was made up of my typical dark colors, but I dressed it up with a black jean jacket, chelsea boots, and a few bulky rings that she gifted me but were too cumbersome to actually wear. What makes them even more annoying is that I’ve been fiddling with them all evening to distract myself, and let me tell you, it’s not working. I have another hour until I have to leave; I need a better distraction.
I plopped myself down on my bed with my laptop and clicked on my “The Underbelly'' bookmark. I always loved the irony of this blog served as an escape but also as a merciless glimpse into reality for me. My leg bounced as the page loaded—no new posts. Shit...well, it has only been a couple of days. I thoroughly looked forward to the new content because the author and I are eerily like-minded as far as hero ideology. Sometimes I felt as if I wrote a few of the entries myself. They’re the only person that I felt connected to on a philosophical level, and finally having that was comforting, to say the least. It was a bit taboo to criticize heroes so harshly because it was easy to be labeled as ungrateful. I’ve personally always felt like a great way to show appreciation is to continuously try to improve a system that everyone relies on. I guess people just don’t like to make sense. Hero work is honestly one of the few things I actually cared about, and to see people be so dismissive really pissed me off. Then again, people don’t really know I feel this way. I try not to let people get into my head too much. That’s why I created my Okame persona. I wanted to get my views out there without making it about myself at all. I felt it didn’t really hold true to the purpose of my message, with the whole not making hero’s these god-like figureheads simply for doing what’s right. That and...I hate when people look at me for more than a few seconds. My searing glare usually fixed that right quick. Quickly getting over the minor disappointment, I closed my laptop. Well, I didn’t have another alternative distraction, so I decided to say fuck it and head to the kitchen for some liquid courage.
I downed about two shots of rum. I was taking the bus there anyway, so it’s not like it mattered. I checked my watch, 30 more minutes. I wracked my brain for something to alleviate the unbearable anticipation as I blankly stared at the bottle of rum. Oh! I could pick up her favorite soju. It’s super strong, so we usually reserve it for a day where we don’t plan to do shit else but enjoy each other's company. But I feel like if we’re gonna hash all the bullshit out, we might need to be generously buzzed. Liquor store it is. I adjusted my collar before I headed out the door.
I decided on four bottles of the grapefruit soju because she really likes tart flavors. She always made fun of me for liking the sweeter sojus, but I’ll let her think she has the better taste tonight. The drinks were hidden away in a plastic bag tucked under my feet. I tried to settle in my seat towards the back as I checked my watch again for the fifteenth time. It was now 5 minutes after the starting time. Guess both the show and my girlfriend(?) are running late. My hands automatically began scratching at the already chipped polish on my nails. She’s been uncharacteristically calm during this fight; I wonder if she’ll stay that way once she sees me.
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karasuno-writings · 5 years ago
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OHHH maybe do Tsukki with either 21, 53 or 41?? Thank you.
Anon thank you so much for this request!! Sure thing sure thing, specially since I love my salty boy! I will start trying to make scenarios longer just to make them more enjoyable and flowing but this means they will take longer to write so I hope that is fine!! So I chose 21 because I love the trope and all of it really!! So I hope you like this! I went a little too overboard with this maybe like its too long how did I get to this what??? BUT I do love Tsukki so there’s that and I actually liked this way too much!! So enjoy!!
I also have no idea how to do things under the cut or on “read more” so sorry!!
“we’re arguing when the ball drops on new year’s eve, and decide to kiss and shit i don’t think i hate you anymore”
___________________________________
Y/N skipped on their way home, tightening the scarf that covered their neck, they looked around at the people heading to their own homes. It was finally holiday break, which meant Y/N got to spend quality time with their friends and family, and stay-in inside cozy covers with some tea and their favorite movie. Smiling at the thought Y/N hopped on the bus, contempt with what awaited once they arrived.
“We are going to Tokyo with my best friend’s family for new year!” Y/N’s mom cheerfully announced, completely shattering their plans and their cheer as soon as they walked inside the house. That meant that if Akiteru was going, his brother, Kei, was too. Y/N and Kei used to be friends when they were little, that was until he cut them off without a word. A million thoughts raced through their head, but mainly they couldn’t stop thinking about how badly they did not want to see him, Y/N had managed to avoid dinner with his family for such a long time, but it seemed like there was no escaping this time. 
The first few weeks of the break had passed and while Y/N had thoroughly enjoyed themselves and their friends, however they still had to deal with packing for an insufferable trip. Sighing Y/N looked at a picture of them and Kei when they were younger, the two of them used to be so close when all of a sudden he decided he wanted nothing to do with them. Getting the last of their clothes on the backpack they headed downstairs, helping place the luggage in the trunk. Sitting on the back of the van they looked at the falling snowflakes outside the window as it moved forward, leaving their home behind. 
Soon enough they arrived at the rental house, it seemed big enough for everyone so that proved to be a big relief. Opening the door a chilly breeze sent a shiver down Y/N’s spine, hopping off the vehicle they saw a tall figure walking over. A smug smile spread on his features, it had been a long time since they had seen him and he was looking…good, he was taller than they expected and his features were more mature now. However one more glance at his face was enough to remember how he had treated them on the past, they turned around to grab their backpack just before he could catch them staring. 
Kei stepped outside to help his mother’s friends settle in, as he walked in the snow towards the van he stopped for a second, taken aback by the sight of Y/N. He remembered how they used to be close, and why he had cut them off; frankly he had forgotten they would be coming. He studied them for a second, they seemed so different…but in a good way…however, they had not grown much compared to him. 
“Let me help chibi-chan, nice to see you after all these years” He announced as he approached them next to the van, taking the heaviest of the luggage. Y/N turned to look at him for a second, they were not going to let him know that his actions had gotten to them, so with they spoke up politely, “Hello Tsukishima, you too”. He was not expecting such a cold answer from them, he remembered them being a little more…vibrant, which while annoying it was who Y/N was.
He furrowed his brows at their words, Tsukishima did not know what had sparked such behaviour, from the few times he had seen them at school he had the impression that they were kind even after all these years. He found this bothersome so without another word he grabbed all the remaining bags and walked inside the house, after all he had no compromise with them. 
“Akiteru! How have you been? I’m glad to see you again!” Y/N hugged the older Tsukishima, who greeted them in return. 
Who do they think they are? Kei was now sitting on the couch with his headphones on as he stared at Y/N and Akiteru chatting up and preparing dinner in the kitchen. Apparently they had no problem with being friendly to his older brother, their upbeat behavior back in no time. He hated the guts out of them; he knew he was no saint but that did not give them of all people a free pass to act so childlike. He crossed his arms on his chest as he rested his head on the cushions. He did not want to come on this trip on the first place, however he thought that is Y/N was still the same old same old as when they were little, he would not dread this miserable weeks quiet as much. 
He was wrong. Horribly wrong, their presence just annoyed him more; their stupid smile which they refused to show him specifically, their stupid Y/E/C eyes that glistened in front of the fairly lights ,and their stupid personality; which he was about to fall for when they were kids, the reason he decided that keeping his distance from them was the best he could do. 
An internal conflict stirred within him; if they refused to act normal around him that meant there was no way on earth his old feelings would come back, which was good because he did not want to close off to them once more. However, the intelligence aura given off by their attitude and seeing them talk so effortlessly with his brother made him want to see that side of them again. Still, there was no way on earth he was going to do anything about it. So his demeanor remained unfaltering towards their indifference, after all he gave them no reason to be so goddamn rude. 
“Tsukishima, could you help me get the flour on the top shelf, please?” Kei looked up and saw them staring at him, their head poking out of the kitchen frame. He hesitated for a moment, then he saw them smile at him for the first time. It all came back to him.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
“Come on Kei! We are going to be late!” Y/N tugged on the strings of his backpack, urging him to walk faster. Their eyes were big and shiny with pure happiness as they looked at him expectantly, holding the strap of their own colorful pin-covered, looking as awkward as a middle schooler could. Kei sighed and rode his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. 
“One would figure there would be less energy on someone so tiny” He said with a smug smik, chuckling lightly at their pouting face. They stuck his tongue out at him and giggled. This was all too familiar for young Tsukishima, but still he could not deny that their smile tugged his heart, he did not want to admit this, he wanted nothing to do with feelings anymore.
“And one would figure such long lanky legs would be put to better use!” Y/N said in between giggles, grabbing his hand to urge him again. Their warm skin made his stomach lurch like it had never before. 
“Stop.”That was the moment Tsukki knew he could do this no more; he pulled his hand away and glared at them with a hatred like never before, pure raw disgust. His voice was not raised a bit, but the tone in which he spoke was enough to frighten them. Their smile held no longer, the shine in their eyes was no more as a new feeling wiped over their expression. Y/N swallowed, their heart thumping in their ears. 
“Sorry Tsukishima…I’ll see you after school, yeah?” They said, their voice no louder than a whisper, as their strides became faster and they disappeared out of his sight. He hated this, he hated that it hurt, but he sucked it up; this was better than falling for them after all. 
They did not see him after school that day, or any other as a matter of fact. He had just stopped visiting and denied them every time they tried to reach out. A few months carried out like this, until they stopped trying, never knowing what they did wrong.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Oh
That was it then
Kei felt stupid, he did not want to but it could not be helped. However he knew he had been truly blind at the reason of their harsh behaviour towards him. He would not apologize, it would be way too embarrassing, and while the way he handled the situation was clearly not the ideal one, he was sure the justification for it was logical. 
Sighing he stood up, the most he could do would be being kind to them after all he put them through. Kei entered the kitchen and looked at Y/N, looking expectantly at him once more. He reached over for the flour and handed it to them.
“Thanks” They said and immediately turned to the counter, which held a variety of ingredients, presumably for a cake. He really did not feel like baking, but he didn’t know what else to do to show them that he is not as bad as they remember, so he walked over them, leaning on the currently clean counter. 
“No problem…it’s not your fault you are so small” He said without even looking at them “Need any help?” 
They rolled their eyes at his comment and began mixing the ingredients, the silence started as awkward but gradually became bearable. “Just so you know, I could have easily reach that, I just did not want to…help me with this yeah?”
-.-.-.-.-.
New year’s eve was finally here, Y/N was finishing the last details and getting ready before heading downstairs for dinner. They had decided to make it formal, even though it would all be inside the cozy rental house, so they had to put a little bit more thought than normal in what to wear and how to fix themselves up. Once they were ready they skipped down the stairs, ready to join their family after the hard work they had put into the preparations for tonight. 
Kei looked at them as they headed downstairs. Shit. They looked way too good, and their smile was just as bright as before. He could feel blood rushing to his cheeks so he took some deep breaths to calm down before anyone would notice. Annoying, everything about them was annoying, specially since they have been the slightest more friendly to him after the whole flour ordeal, he had specifically shut himself down to them because of this. He hated everything about it.
Dinner ran smoothly, they were far from him and next to Akiteru so he did not need to chat them up, which he was thankful for. However he hated the way the conversation flowed so easy between them, how he could get glimpses of how they used to be with him before. Y/N on the other hand was wary about Kei’s behaviour on the last few days; from one moment to another he had become…kind, almost sweet, which they had not expected after what he had done a few years ago. Don’t get them wrong, they still hated the guts out of him, but he had become tolerable which was more than they had expected; if only they didn’t think he looked so good after all this time.
Champagne was popping in the living room, the countdown was about to start as music blared on the radio announcing the soon-to be end of this year. Y/N was still giggling with Kei’s older brother, dancing in an off-pace to the music, they looked so happy with him, it was unbearable. Y/N was bouncing on their toes as they came to a halt, clearly enjoying themselves, grabbing Akiteru’s hand to waltz.
That was the last straw, Kei could watch this no more. Swiftly he stood up, when he realized he clearly had not thought this out at all, his mind raced rapidly, planning the next move. Good thing he is a quick thinker, clearing his throat he walked slowly over to Y/N, placing a hand on their shoulder to grab their attention. Y/N stopped on their tracks, looking around to see if their mom needed anything. It would be an understatement to say they were surprised to see that the owner of the hand was no other than Tsukishima Kei. They let go of Akiteru and turned around to face the tall blonde. 
“Care to help with something Chibi?” He said, he hoped they would do most of the talking because he refused to. He knew it had been him who called their attention but he did not have a way with words, at least he knew they did. Y/N nodded and followed him into the now empty kitchen, confusion clear on their features. 
The two of them stood in silence for a while, none of them really knowing what to say. Y/N was hoping the boy would tell them what he needed, but he just deadpan stared at them. “So…you needed me?” Y/N cleared their throat, breaking the unbearable silence.
“Not really” Kei just shrugged, at least he had to be honest about the matter. Y/N felt anger rising once more, how dare him take them away from the precious moments of fun they so dreaded they wouldn’t have, just because. They sighted, “Okay…”, and turned around ready to return to the lively living room. 
A hand wrapped around their arm as they started to walk out. They furrowed their brows and looked back at Kei, whose expression was as serious as ever, but behind his eyes something stirred. Silence.
“That’s it…You think you can just talk to me and pretend everything is like before?” They faced him, he was taller than them but right now they felt more intimidating, almost as if they were looking down at him. He stared at them, his eyes twitching the slightest at their voice but his poise unmoved. 
“You know how much it hurt? How much I tried to find out why? What I had done to deserve that from you” They carried on, knowing there would not be an answer from the blonde boy, which was clearly surprised at their reaction even if he was not explicitly showing so.
Ten. The radio blared from the other room, the countdown had just started.
“You were my best friend…I tried to reach out for months” Their voice was slowly lowering, hurt replacing anger. 
Nine.
“I…I actually liked you you know?” They said, their voice breaking at the end, knowing damn well that this statement would elicit a reaction from him. It did.
Eight.
“I just wanted to know why” They broke, relaxing finally. Kei relaxed his shoulders too, looking at them in the eye. 
Seven. 
“You know chibi? Sometimes I can be as thick as you” He said, swallowing as he took their hands in his, looking at their watery eyes which only looked back at his in confusion at the gesture, uncharacteristically soft for him
Six.
“I would hate me too”. He chuckled lightly, he did not know what else to say. He sucked at this.
Five.
“That does not excuse anything! That does not explain why you left without a word…” While they were still hurting the anger resurfaced once more, they hated his stupid face right this moment…and still they felt butterflies in their stomach as he rested his hands on their arms.
Four.
“It means I like you dumbass” He said, clearly not sure of his words, feeling stranger coming from him. Their breath froze as their eyebrows furrowed, biting their bottom lip they stayed silent, not knowing what to say. 
Three.
The tension in the air was sharp as a knife, both of them staring intently into each other’s eyes, waiting for the other to do something, anything. 
Two. 
Y/N looked at his lips, then back at his golden brown eyes. Maybe everything could go back as it was…no… maybe it could be better…maybe…maybe they didn’t hate him so much anymore.
One.
Y/N acted out of impulse, their hands quickly flying up to his neck and their lips softly clashing on his. Few times had Kei been taken by surprise, this was one of them. His eyes opened wide as he felt the warmth on his lips. For once he did not think, for once he let himself feel. This was new to him, it was scary and kind of annoying, but if he was honest he liked it. His arms wrapped around their torso as he melt into the kiss. The background screaming, streamers and celebrations barely audible for the two of them, as they stepped into the next year in the place they least imagined.
It lasted for a few seconds, but it felt way longer. When they pulled back he stared at their eyes, that familiar shine was back. They knew him so well, and he knew he could trust them, if only the two of them took it slow. 
“Kei, happy new year”  His name on their lips once again felt so familiar. ”You still have to make it up to me”, and as they stuck their tongue out at him it all seemed so obvious. They felt like home. Yes, he could get used to this
“In your dreams chibi-chan”
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cdrforea · 5 years ago
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Nokia 4.2 Review: One Big Flaw
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Nokia 4.2 Review: One Big Flaw
"The Nokia 4.2 has many advantages, but it is affected by the processor."
Good battery life
Nice design and build quality
Notification light, NFC and a dedicated Google Assistant button come in handy
Android One means 2 years of quick updates
Affordable
Slow performance
Slow camera, mediocre photos in low light
Doesn't work with Sprint, Verizon
Micro USB connection
The Nokia 4.2 was a roller coaster ride. My first test device suffered from constant jerking and freezing, which made using the phone a hair-raising affair. The second device delivered a significantly improved experience, but it doesn't prevent this $ 189 phone from making several compromises.
Affordable phones have to make sacrifices, but the problem is with the competition. Motorola makes a phone with a much better performance for just $ 10 more: The Moto G7 Play. It also has the more convenient USB-C port, in addition to a decent camera, excellent battery life, and an almost standard Android experience.
The Nokia 4.2 from HMD has a lot to offer. The camera is slow, but can be used in broad daylight. The price doesn't look good (in a good way), the battery life is amazing, and I love the notification LED that circles the power button. It is also an Android One phone, so updates are guaranteed for two years. But it all comes down to performance and it can be frustrating.
Compact design, average display
The Nokia 4.2 is not like a budget phone. In comparison, the Moto G7 Play looks and feels very cheap. The Nokia 4.2 has a metal unibody with a polycarbonate frame and the back is protected by glass. This means that the likelihood is that repairs will be needed after a fall, but the phone will also feel more substantial.
A quick note on color. I recommend the Pink Sand over Black option. It is much more attractive and highlights the phone.
The back glass is a fingerprint magnet that you wipe regularly. Speaking of fingerprints: There is a fingerprint sensor here. It may be a little slow, which matches the Nokia 4.2.
You get a headphone jack at the top, a micro USB charging port at the bottom, a special Google Assistant button on the left and a volume rocker and an on / off switch on the right. The lack of a USB-C charging port is disappointing. Many other products have USB-C ports, from MacBooks and iPad Pros to Windows laptops and most Android smartphones. It is ideal to take only one cable with which everything can be charged. The $ 200 Moto G7 Play has one. Why couldn't HMD add it here?
The processor of the Nokia 4.2 paralyzes the phone.
The headphone jack is a welcome addition, and you should use it or use Bluetooth earphones because the bottom speakers aren't loud. However, the audio quality is decent. The buttons around the phone are clickable and the dedicated Google Assistant button is useful if you use the assistant a lot (you can turn it off, but you can't remap the button).
My favorite feature is the power button, which lights up when you get notifications. This is a good thing because the Nokia 4.2 does not have an always-on display when it is not being charged (due to the lack of an OLED screen). It looks good in the dark. It would have been nice to adjust the color, but you stick to white.
I like how compact the Nokia 4.2 feels. The screen is only 5.71 inches tall, which may sound big, but since the frames are narrow, a lot of screen is included in a small package. The rounded edges make the phone more comfortable to hold and the glass feels smooth.
The Nokia 4.2 (above) against Pixel 3a. Julian Chokkattu / Digital Trends
The HD + LCD screen is nothing to write home about. It is colorful and sharp (resolution 1,520 x 720) if you look at it from a reasonable viewing distance. Take a closer look and pixels are visible. It is a little dark, which makes it difficult to read the screen in broad daylight, and the black levels are not as satisfactory as with an OLED screen.
At the top is a drop notch in which the selfie camera is located. The phone still has a "chin" or bottom bezel, but the front design makes the Nokia 4.2 look more modern (and is slightly better than the Moto G7 Play).
Manageable performance
The Nokia 4.2 processor holds everything back. It is a Qualcomm Snapdragon 439 chipset with 3 GB of RAM and 32 GB of internal storage. While 32GB is average for such an affordable phone, you'll want to use the microSD card slot since my 101 installed apps (including preinstalled apps) have reached 86 percent of the allocated memory.
Julian Chokkattu / Digital Trends
My first review device frustrated me endlessly because I was hanging up and freezing when I used the phone. This turned out to be a problem with the device. The second model didn't have many of these problems.
The performance is decent. Expect stuttering here and there as you scroll through apps like Twitter and Instagram, but it's bearable. Games like Pako: Forever and Breakneck ran admirably, with just a few skipped frames here and there. I was able to do most of the tasks that I would do with a flagship smartphone. It just took a little longer.
Opening an app takes a few seconds. This also applies to loading a game, sharing an image or turning on the phone. There were moments when I had to quickly search for something on Google Maps and I was frustrated with how slow the phone took to give me what I wanted. This is not always the case, but usually when I juggle between some apps.
Here are the benchmark results:
AnTuTu 3DBench: 77.060
Geekbench 4 CPU: 896 single core; 3,313 multi-core
3DMark Sling Shot Extreme: 493 (volcano)
These values ​​are below the Moto G7 Play with the superior Snapdragon 632 (as well as the Moto G7 Power). My colleague had no performance problems with the Moto G7 series when testing – everything worked smoothly. Unfortunately, the Nokia 4.2 will inevitably frustrate you at some point.
Android One
I love the HMD phones because most of them run the Android One program. You receive at least a two-year guarantee on Android software and security updates. These updates are also deployed quickly, so you hardly have to wait after Google introduces them. In comparison, Samsung Galaxy S9 owners had to wait six months for the company to bring Android Pie to the phone.
The benefit of updates means that the phone stays secure, you get new features, and bugs and problems are more likely to be patched. HMD beat Motorola here. Motorola offers barely a year of Android updates for its phones – the Moto G7 Play will only get Android Q and not much more.
Julian Chokkattu / Digital Trends
Android One doesn't just mean quick updates. You get standard Android that is clear, simple and user-friendly. Apart from pre-installed Google Apps, there is no bloatware. There is even NFC on board so you can use Google Pay (another plus over the Moto G7 Play).
While the software on Nokia 4.2 is a positive experience, I encountered an error. If the phone remains alone and in standby mode, it can sometimes disconnect from the WLAN. When you turn the screen back on, the connection will be restored, but it's a problem that I couldn't solve. We also noticed this bug with the Moto G7 series, so there is a possibility that it is Android related and not device specific.
Slow camera
The Nokia 4.2 has a dual camera system on the back – a 13 megapixel lens paired with a 2 megapixel depth detection camera. The camera may be slow to start and the shutter may take some time. For this reason, you must be quiet when trying to take a photo to avoid a blurry result.
Julian Chokkattu / Digital Trends
But with good lighting, the Nokia 4.2 can be capable. Dealing with high-contrast scenarios with HDR is decent, the details are solid and the colors look natural. A typical example? The picture of the ship in New York City and the photo of my dog ​​lying on my bed. They are impressive for a $ 189 phone.
As usual, the quality of the camera deteriorates in low light conditions. Images are grainy. While I had to remain silent beforehand, you have to be as still as a statue in low light. I've seen better results with Pro mode in the camera at night, but not everyone will understand how to use manual controls.
Portrait mode works well in good lighting, but any exposure to light, including indoor use, can cause pictures to look bad. Focusing is difficult in these situations and photos never look so sharp. HDR never seems to work as well in portrait mode.
Sample photos from Nokia 4.2
The 8 megapixel camera on the front works well, but has a problem with high-contrast scenarios. In the selfie picture of me, the sky is completely blown out. The selfie photo in portrait mode is better because the exposure is accurate with no blown out areas and there is a nice bokeh effect.
It's a powerful camera that takes a negative turn in low light, like all low-cost phones. However, you have to work with the camera to stay extremely still, which is annoying. It's comparable to the Moto G7 Play, although I think the Nokia 4.2 does a little better in quality.
Good battery life
Finally, we come to the best part of the Nokia 4.2. Never in my time checking the phone did I worry that it would die on me. The 3,000mAh battery isn't large, but with low power specifications and a low-resolution screen, it's enough to keep the phone buzzing for more than a day.
In heavy use, the phone reaches about 20 or 30 percent by midnight. With light to moderate use, the juice is retained for a second day, although charging may be required until noon.
While I was satisfied with the battery in real tests, the Nokia 4.2 did not do so well in our battery test. I played a 1080p YouTube video with maximum screen brightness over WiFi, and the Nokia 4.2 only survived 7 hours and 38 minutes. It's a decent time, but the Moto G7 game lasted more than 9 hours and the $ 250 Moto G7 Power stayed alive for almost 14 hours.
Aside from the battery test, most people will be more than happy with what the Nokia 4.2 can offer here. It's just a shame that a micro USB cable is required for charging.
Price, availability and warranty information
The Nokia 4.2 costs $ 189 and is available from Amazon and Best Buy. It only works in GSM networks, so you can use it on network operators such as AT&T, T-Mobile, Cricket Wireless and Metro by T-Mobile. It doesn't work in CDMA networks like Verizon or Sprint.
HMD offers a standard one-year warranty that protects the phone from manufacturing defects one year after the date of purchase.
Our opinion
The good looks of the Nokia 4.2, the excellent battery life, the decent camera and the fast Android updates are slowed down by a weak processor. It is capable, but there are better alternatives.
Is there a better alternative?
Yes, the Moto G7 Play. It has many of the same specs as the Nokia 4.2, from the 3,000 mAh battery to 3 GB of RAM, but the processor is what drives it. The Snapdragon 632 is much more powerful and won't frustrate you. So I think the G7 game is the better buy for just $ 11 more at $ 200.
It depends on whether you want to choose longer software support instead of performance as these Motorola phones only deliver an Android version update (Android Q), while the Nokia 4.2 will also get Android R next year. While we usually praise phones that promise software updates for two or more years, I think the significant increase in processor performance gives the Moto G7 Play the edge.
If you spend $ 250, you can buy the Moto G7 Power, which has a larger screen – but you get the same performance as the Moto G7 Play. Better still, the 5,000 mAh battery means it's a two-day phone.
If you want to stay with the Nokia brand, it's worth spending $ 300 on the Nokia 7.1. It has good performance, the same Android One software, and a capable camera. If your budget is a bit higher, Google Pixel 3a should be on your list as it only costs $ 400.
For more information, see our guide to the best cheap phones.
How long it will take?
The Nokia 4.2 is in glass so you should get a case to make sure it doesn't tear through a drop. It is also not waterproof.
On the plus side, the phone gets two years of Android version and security updates, so it should take at least two years. This is the case if the performance does not deteriorate by then.
Should you buy it
No. A Qualcomm 600 series processor in the Nokia 4.2 would have changed history, but the Snapdragon 439 won't cut off if you can buy a better performing phone for just $ 11 more.
Editor's recommendations
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