#Also erik might get a name change at some point I just gotta find something that feels right

[derelictdumbass]

Did some updated designs of the kiddos bc I felt like it!

[81scorp]

Constructive criticism: X-Men first class

Ah yes, X-Men first class. After X-Men Origins: Wolverine turned out to be a rushed, incompetent and excecutively meddled piece of meh, the studio folks at FOX panicked and hit the reset button. Since their cash cow franchise had been so utterly trainwrecked there was no idea in continuing on the track they were currently on. Better to go back to square one and go in a new direction. You gotta keep making those mutant movies or the rights will revert back to Marvel who might actually make a good X-Men movie, and we can`t let that happen. So... X-Men first class was a big step up from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, (That`s not very hard though.) and better than the X-Men 3 that we got. We got to see Charles Xavier really put his telepathic abilities to good use, some good character developing scenes with Magneto and some nice dialogue between the two of them. But it still had some questionable descisions. Like killing off the only black guy in the group. The guy who has the power to adapt to and survive pretty much anything. Not only that but the way he was killed off was pretty dissapointing. At first I was gonna do a CC were I just bring up a few points and suggest how they could be improved. But then I thought "What if this had been made in an alternate universe where X-Men 3 and XO: Wolverine were good?" Then they wouldn`t have to completely reboot it and distance themself from the first movies. They could have made it a prequel that could still work with the continuity of the previous movies. So... if I had a mutant buddy who could phase me back in time to my younger body, so that I could make some changes to this movie... What would I change?

Plot The 1940s, Poland: Erik Magnus Lehnsherr (Magneto), a young woman named Magda and a young man named Gregorij have escaped from a concentration camp, Nazi soldiers are chasing them. Gregorij is shot, Erik uses his powers in self defense to kill the two soldiers who chase them. Magda doesn`t see him use his powers. Back at the concentration camp a soldier has to break the news that the three prisoners have escaped to the camp`s head scientist: Dr Nathaniel Essex. (That`s right! In my version Mr Sinister is the bad guy! Makes more sense than Sebastian Shaw.) The 1960s, Brazil: Erik has found two former Nazi officers in a bar. He talks to them, interrogates them and then kills them. The 1970s, a trainstation: Erik is sitting at a table waiting for a train. A young Charles Xavier sits down next to him, they talk and Charles reveals that he`s a mutant, a telepath to be more precise. He says to Erik that he hasn`t read all of his thoughts, he only "skimmed the surface" and talks to him about how mutants and humans should help eachother. Erik disagrees with some of what Charles is saying but feels that he may have a point in some areas. Charles, noticing that Erik has a train to catch, gives him his card and hopes that they will meet some day in the future. Erik takes the train to meet a man in an office, (let`s call the man Fritz) who used to work with the nazis. Erik interrogates him, kills him and takes some documents from him. One of the documents is a blueprint of a helmet that protects your mind from telepaths. He also finds a knife with a swastika on it. The 1980s: Charles Xavier (who is not in a wheelchair yet) is now a professor, he lives in a mansion and is trying to get his invention Cerebro to work, he gets a little help from Dr Moira MacTaggert but it`s not going so well because, as Moira keeps reminding him, she`s "a geneticist, not a bloody engineer". She also mentions that his inside guy at the FBI has found something for him: an escaped orphan who can fire red energy beams from his eyes is believed to be hiding in the area. Since Cerebro isn`t fully functional yet Charles has to find him  the old fashioned way. That same night: We see a boy in his early teens (Scott Summers) out walking, wearing a blindfold that he sometimes is forced to lift to see where he is going. He manages to get a good look at the area before he quickly shuts his eyes and puts the blindfold back on again. He`s been doing this for a while and gotten good at it. Charles finds him, unfortunately so does a hulking brute named Blockbuster. Scott defends himself against BB but BB is to strong. Charles arrives and is just about to knock BB with a telepathic punch... when some scrap metal comes flying and knocks BB. It`s Erik who showed up and saved Scott! Charles is happy to see Erik again and recruits him and Scott. BB wakes up a few 100 feet away from where Erik hit him, runs back to his boss and explains that another mutant showed up and overpowered him. The mutant had magnetic powers. That last part makes his boss react, his boss is Mr Sinister. Erik helps Charles build Cerebro. Charles uses it to find more mutants. At a boarding school he finds Warren Worthington III, a young teen with two wings on his back that allows him to fly. At a university he finds Dr Henry "Hank" McCoy, a muscular young man with a great intellect and superhuman strength. (He doesn`t have his blue fur yet.) And in a small town in Kenya he finds Ororo Munroe, a girl with long, white hair with the power to control weather. Erik builds a pair of sunglasses made out of ruby-quartz for Scott who is happy that he can finally see again and doesn`t have to worry about hurting anyone. In this scene Erik also mentions that he has studied metallurgy. At a bar in Canada, Charles tries to recruit Logan who tells him to go F himself. Charles takes the hint and leaves. (Yes, I`m keeping that scene in my version. It was fun.) One last student arrives at Charles` mansion: Jean Grey, a girl with the gift of telekinesis and telepathy. (She and Prof: Charles has already met a few years ago.) Xavier gives his students a speech where he welcomes them, tells them his dream about humans and mutants coexisting peacefully in the future and that the training starts tomorrow. What are their personalities? Scott is the very serious one and a bit of a square. Warren is the funny and, at times, immature one. Hank is the smart science guy and the witty one who sometimes competes with Warren for the title of the funny one. Ororo is the cool, confident one (but also secretly a little insecure) who sometimes competes with Hank and Warren over who gets to be funny one. Jean is a bit shy but works to overcome it and turns into the glue that holds the team together. That night: Ororo is going to use the bathroom but it is already occupied by Warren who suggests that she uses the smaller bathroom down the hall. Ororo doesn`t want that and decides to wait until Warren is finished. Warren thinks that she is spoiled. Scott bumps into Erik, sees his concentration camp tattoo, the two of them talk a little, Scott understands what a hard life Erik must have lived.

Act 2: First day of school begins. They have some ordinary classes, Moira teaches them about biology and McCoy (who has several  diplomas) teaches them physics and literature. After this it`s time for physical training. They run in an obstacle course. They do well when it comes to the individual challenges but not so well when comes to the part where they have to work as a group. After the training they are all tired. It`s lunchtime. Erik does not eat his lunch at school but instead prefers to go to a cafè. There`s man at the table next to him (It`s Mr Sinister in human form.), they start to talk a little. Mr Sinister starts to talk about how hard it must be to be a mutant in todays society. It soon becomes clear that Mr Sinister is trying to recruit Erik to his side. Even if Mr Sinister`s views are similar to Erik`s he is not interested, he pays for his coffee and leaves. Xavier`s mansion: Scott walks in the hall, bumps into Jean, the two of them talk a little, she continues to Charles Xavier`s room where she tells him about nightmares that she`s been having and wants his help dealing with them. Outside the room Erik listens to their conversation. Scott continues to the recreational room to hangout with the others. In the recreational room Warren tells the group a little about himself, about how a fire broke out at his boarding school and how he saved his classmates. He encourages his classmates to share their stories, it might help them bond. No one is interested. Next day: They do the obstacle course again. This time they are slightly better at the teamwork and at the end of the obstacle course they get to fight Erik. He beats them. A little later Jean visits Prof Xavier again so that he can help her hold back her powers. Erik knows what they are doing and he doesn`t like it. Hank talks to Moira a little. He tells her that he has discovered that it is possible that mutants could develop a second mutation and that he has been toying with the idea of creating a serum that could trigger such a mutation. (I would like for Moira to have a little scene of dialogue with everyone of the students. Also, this little scene explains why Hank doesn`t look like he did in X-Men 3.) Lunchtime, a bench in a park: Erik is enjoying some alone time. He is soon joined by Mr Sinister. Sinister tells him some of his backstory (but of course he leaves out the part about working for the Nazis) He also reveals that he doesn`t age, is over 100 years old, has enchanced strength and has done some experiments on himself and added more powers, like firing energy-bolts from his hands. He wants Erik to join him and create a better world for mutants. Erik starts to consider Mr Sinister`s proposal. Later that night: Mr Sinister`s goons: Riptide, Vertigo, Arclight and Toad steal some lab-equipment from a building. The police shows up. The goons fight them and win. A beautiful day in a sunny park: Scott is out walking, bumps into Jean, they talk a little, Jean reveals that the park they are in now is not real, it`s a dream, her dream. She is still trying to control her powers and apologizes that her dream is "leaking over" into his. Scott doesn`t mind. Since this is a dream he takes of his glasses and is happy that he can do so without without hurting someone. They hang out and do some stuff you can only do in a dream,  like fly, walk on water (there`s a lake nearby) and other fun stuff. It`s getting late, Scott has enjoyed their time together but thinks he should return to his own dream, they have to get up early tomorrow and fight Erik again. He leaves her head. Jean hears voices and decides to check out where they are coming from. They seem to come from someone elses dream. Erik`s dream, a forest, the night he, Magda and Gregorij escaped from the conentration camp and Gregorij was shot. Jean is there as a ghost, no one can see, hear or touch her, this is just a memory after all. She sees Erik and Magda mourning Gregorij and promising each other that they are gonna survive. A moment later Jean sees Erik and Magda serving customers at a tavern, after that she sees them getting married, after that she sees Magda giving birth to a daughter, Anya. Erik, Magda and Anya move to the city and Erik gets a job as a construction worker. One day his employer (Let`s call him Ivan.) only pays him half of what he deserves. Erik gets angry and causes a crowbar to fly and smash into the wall next to Ivan. Ivan pays him in full and Erik returns to the inn where his family is staying. We flash forward a day or two and Erik is now standing in front the inn wcich is now on fire and Anya is trapped on the second floor. Erik reaches out with his hand, maybe he can do something! Maybe he can...  THUD! Two policemen strike him down. it was Ivan who led them to him. Ivan: "What a shame comrade. If you hadn`t threatened me this would never have happened." Helpless, Erik must watch how Anya dies in the fire. He is filled with rage and with his new powers he kills all the bystanders except Magda. Magda, afraid of Erik because of what he`s capable of doing, calls him a monster and runs away. Jean wakes up from Erik`s dream. Next day: The students are training on the obstacle course, Scott decides to take the role of a leader and this time they do even better than they did last time. They fight Erik and this time they get closer to defeating him. Erik is impressed, next time he might not hold back. Later, inside Jeans mind: she and Prof. Xavier put the last constraints on her powers. The two of them wake up, back in his room and Jeane leaves. A little later, a Museum: Erik watches an exhibition of the human evolution, from ape to homo sapien. He is joined by Sinister who talks to him some more. Sinister suspects that someone is eavesdropping on them and he is right. Jeane has been eavesdropping on them telepathically from a distance. She leaves and is followed by one of Sinister`s goons: Arclight. Arclight almost catches her  but she uses her telekinetic powers in creative ways to escape her. Xavier`s mansion: Jean arrives, amost out of breath and explains to the others what she has seen and heard. What are they gonna do when Erik comes back, now that they know that he is involved with something evil? The phone rings. It`s Erik. He wants to talk to Charles. He tells Charles that he won`t be coming back to the mansion tonight, he`s working on something. He also tells Charles that he wants to meet him at a certain place at a certain time. Alone. Later that night: They decide to share their background stories. Hank tells them that his mutation made him a more than formidable footballplayer and earned him the nickname "the Beast". It also made the faculty suspicious, he was afraid to be outed as a mutant. He is grateful that Xavier showed up and recruited him before things turned really ugly. Warren says that he can relate to that. He had trouble hiding his wings, was afraid of being discovered, and sees Xavier as a lifesaver. Scott tells them that he used to have a brother, or maybe he still has, he doesn`t know. His father was a pilot. They were out flying, something happened with the engine, the plane was about to crash, his mom Katherine pushed Scott and his little brother Alex out the plane door with the only available parachute. Then he must have hit his head because the next thing he knew he woke up in a hospital with a head injury. His brother was nowhere to be seen. A few days later he ended up at an orphanage. His mutant power manifested a few weeks ago. Jean reveals that she once had a friend, Annie. One day when Jean and Annie were playing Annie was accidentally hit by a car. The stress awakened Grey's mutant telepathic powers which empathically linked her to her dying friend. The traumatic experience of Annie's death left Grey in a withdrawn and deeply depressed state. Moreover, not able to control her newly awakened telepathic abilities forced her to isolate herself from other people to hold on to her sanity. Her parents came into contact with Prof. Xavier who helped her out of her isolation. A year later Xavier opened up his school for the gifted. Ororo reveals that when she was little she lived in Cairo with her mom and dad. When she was just five years old, a plane crashed into their house. Ororo's parents were killed, but she survived, buried under rubble near her mother's body. This traumatizing effect left Ororo with the severe claustrophobia that still afflicts her today. (That`s why she didn`t want to go to the small bathroom earlier.) She managed to escape the rubble of her shattered home. Homeless and orphaned she was found by a streetgang of young boys who took her to see their leader and mentor who trained her to be a thief. But soon, it became too dangerous to be on the streets of Cairo so she left the city and wandered through the desert. Discovered that she could control the weather, ran into a tribe who believed her to be a goddess. They gave her food and she in return gave them rain so that their crops would survive through drought season. The students now understand each other better. Elsewhere: Erik is with Mr Sinister and the Marauders. He is using the equipment that the Marauders stole, his magnetic powers and his knowledge in metallurgy to create the telepathy-proof helmet that we saw in the documents that he took from Fritz.

Act 3: Prof. Xavier meets Erik at the trainstation were they first met years ago. It is early and there are no innocent bystanders. Erik reveals that he knows what about Charles putting mental blocks in in Jeans head and that`s why he left. The students should grow to their full potential at the school, not be constrained just because they are afraid of their powers. He also meets Mr Sinister who`s wearing the telepathy-proof helmet. Erik wants to leave Charles and join Sinister. He reveals Charles tries to convince him to stay. Sinister charges his fist with energy and threatens with violence. The students show up, ready to defend Charles. The Marauders show up, ready to fight. A fight breaks out. Angel takes Xavier somewhere safe so he won`t get hurt. But Xavier still wants be part of the fight and not see his students get hurt. During the fight the trainstation takes a heavy beating. Jean tries to reason with Erik but keeps getting interrupted. Finally she tells Erik that Sinister isn`t interested in the wellbeing of other mutants, he`s only interested in creating a superior mutant master-race, no matter the cost. And he worked for the Nazis during World war 2. Sinister attacks Charles and paralyzes him from the waist down. Erik uses his powers to steal Sinisters helmet, Sinister tries to fire energy at Erik but is paralyzed by Charles. Erik takes out the knife that he took from Fritz and sends it right into Sinister`s head. All the Marauders flee except Toad. Charles tries one last time to convince Erik to re-join them, Erik respectfully declines and wants to go his own way. He wants the students to join him but they respectfully decline, only Toad is willing to join him. Charles and his students return to the mansion. They turn on the TV and the news report about how a bunch of mutants demolished a trainstation. People don`t feel safe knowing what mutants are capable of. Charles is sad that they lost Erik but Scott and Jean tells him that they they will stay by his side, they even use the speech that he gave to them at the start of the school. What should they call themselves? The X-team? Fantastic Five? Warren suggests the Merry Mutants. Ororo hits him with a pillow. They`ll figure out a name. The students get their uniforms. Despite everything that has happened Charles and his students are optimistic about the future.

The End

Mid-Credit scene: A Morgue. It turns out that Sinister is not dead! Dun-dun dunn!

And that`s how I would do it. Not great but hopefully not bad.

Since the younger X-Men were not experienced adventurers in the beginning I decided to go for more personal stakes rather than big "we have to save the world" kind of stakes. Diving into the students individual backstories was mostly because I`m into keeping it close to the source material. But in hindsight I can justify it by pointing out that the members of the X-Men in the first movie never had any proper backstories. So in a story where you already know certain things, like if Magneto`s gonna join the badguy or not, you can always dive deeper into the things you don`t already know. (Unless doing so takes away ambiguous and mysterious things about the character/ story that made them interesting in the first place, of course.)

Constructive criticism of my constructive criticism is welcome.

------------------------ Written stuff: 42

Started writing this 2022-06-25

I was originally gonna do a CC of Watchmen but since I alreday had a finished draft of X-Men First class in my note book I decided to do that first.

Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to

Watchmen (2009) Steel (The one with Shaq) Burton`s Batman Schumacher`s Batman Supergirl (1984) Jonah Hex (2010) Dragonball evolution The Spirit (2008) The Dark Knight trilogy

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

X-Men were created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and belongs to Marvel.

[pinkanonwrites]

Karasuno VS. Animal Crossing Villagers

Not an ask, but my own idea! Like most people I’ve been neck-deep in animal crossing during these trying times. I wanted to write how haikyuu characters would react to hearing you gushing about someone, only to find out it’s just your favorite villager!

Sawamura Daichi

Usually Daichi is a very reasonable man.

Somehow that all goes careening out a nearby window when he overhears you on the phone with one of your friends.

“Marshal is perfect and there’s nothing you can say to change my mind. Love of my life. Ideal man.”

He’s so caught off guard that he doesn’t even register the volleyball hitting him in the back of the head. The love of your life? Oh nononononono. No one else was gonna be stealing away your attention.

He pushed the roaring beast of jealousy back down in his stomach and smiled as you waved him over. 

“Daichi loooook! He’s so grumpy!” You turned your phone around to show him a picture of an adorable little white squirrel. “I love Marshal!”

Ah.

“Well, he is pretty cute.” Is all he can muster as a reply, feeling rather silly.

Sugawara Koushi

Suga would see you smiling at your phone like an idiot and scootch over to tease you about your silly expression.

His own smile would suddenly fall when you told him just what you were mooning over.

“I made Avery into my new lock screen background! He’s just the cutest!”

Luckily Sugawara is a smart man, and would ask to see your background before drawing any conclusions. He’d breathe a silent sigh of relief upon seeing that your lock screen picture was of a goofy looking cartoon eagle.

“Whaaaaaaaat? You think he’s even cuter than me?” He’d tease, squishing your cheeks with both hands until you broke into giggles. Good. Crisis averted. For now.

Azumane Asahi

Poor baby gets so nervous when he hears you gushing over your villager.

“Kyle is so cool! I’m never ever gonna let him leave I’ve never been this happy in my life!!!”

Daichi and Suga get to watch him melt into a puddle of misery on the floor.

“Kyle?” He whines, scandalized. “Cool?” Of course you liked cool guys. Guys who were tough and aloof and didn’t let anything bother them. He was none of that.

“Asahi! Asahi! Look at my new villager! Isn’t he cute?”

Then you bounded over and showed him the Kyle in question, a hyena in a leather vest. He whined out your name, blubbering as he hid his face in the top of your head. He’s just a big, silly fool.

Nishinoya Yuu

“Okay but Genji is actually perfect though? I’ve never loved anything so much in my life.”

Nishinoya’s head snaps in the direction of your voice so fast his bones cracked. Genji? Who is Genji? He doesn’t glean any information from staring at you, but his teammates can already see the storm clouds brewing above his head.

Who did this Genji guy think he was, stealing away your attention? Hogging your attention was his job.

After landing a particularly impressive receive, he’d look over to you and holler, “Can Genji do that?”

“Well he’s a rabbit and also in a video game, so I’m gonna say no!”

Ohhhhhh, the shame he feels. He must turn red up to the tips of his ears.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

“Papi was singing yesterday! He’s just adorable, I can hardly stand it!”

Tanaka is already growling like a feral dog. He heard ‘He’s just adorable...’ come out of your mouth and it wasn’t directed at him. Your boyfriend.

Clearly he’s gotta challenge this guy for your honor, or beat him up, or, or-!”

Or almost turn into a blubbering mess the second you asked him if he was okay. You’d start panicking when he asked if you still liked him, until he asked why you thought this Papi guy was so cute.

“Ryuu...” You sounded exasperated but painfully fond as you pulled up a picture of the horse on your phone. “He just moved into my Animal Crossing village.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So I’m still your favorite?”

“Of course you are, Ryuu!” “Ah. Heh. I knew that.”

Ennoshita Chikara

Easily the most sensible of the entire team.

“Whatcha looking at?” You’ve been staring at your phone for a good long while with the silliest expression on your face, and he can’t help but be a little curious.

“Wade! He’s so adorable I can’t stand it!”

“Oh? Do I need to be on guard? Is someone gonna try and sweep you off your feet right out from under me?” He jokes, leaning over your shoulder to get a peek at your phone.

“Only if you think a penguin is worthy of wooing me.” You respond.

“I dunno, he’s pretty cute. I might be swooned!”

“Chikara!”

“Joking! Joking!”

Kageyama Tobio

“Apollo is perfect. He’s all gruff on the outside but so sweet and gentle on the inside.”

Externally Kageyama didn’t show any immediate change in expression, quietly focusing on his drills.

Internally, boy is panicking. Who is Apollo? Why was he perfect? Why did you like him so much?

It isn’t until he misses a set and it hits him directly in the head that you realize something’s up with him. He grumbles over and grabs your hand, pulling you out of sight of his teammates.

“Who’s ‘Apollo’?” He asks as soon as you’re out of earshot. “-! D-Don’t laugh!”

“Tobio, look. This is Apollo.” You bring up your Switch and scamper over to a bald eagle and begin talking to him. “He’s gruff on the outside, but sweet on the inside. Just like you. That’s why he’s my favorite.”

“That’s-You!” He stammers, face exploding into a burning blush. “Wh-Whatever! I’m way cooler than some weird bird anyway!”

Hinata Shouyou

“There he is! The light of my life! My most perfect boy!”

Usually that’d get Hinata excited, because you’d be talking about him. Not today.

“Jeremiah! The cutest in the whole wide world!~”

And he definitely wasn’t sulking because of it. No siree.

You wouldn’t stop staring down at your phone, even when Hinata was doing his amazing freak quick. Yeah you’d probably seen it a few hundred times at this point, but still! You said it was always amazing! What changed?

At the end of practice he’d holler your name out to you.

“I only want you to watch me! Not whoever this weird Jeremiah guy is!”

“Shouyou, baby, he’s a frog.”

“...Eh?”

After you show him your Switch he buries his face in his hands, cheeks burning. “Waaaaaaaahhh, this is so embarrassing. I’m gonna die.”

You laugh and wrap him in a hug. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay more attention at your next game. No frogs allowed.”

Tsukishima Kei

All day long, whenever you’re in earshot, Tsukishima can hear you rambling about this ‘Erik’ guy and frankly? It’s starting to drive him a little bit insane.

“Erik gave me some flowers!”

“Erik said he liked my outfit today!”

“Erik invited me to his house!”

By the time you pick up on his sour mood Kei is practically simmering, and looks at you with a bitter glare.

“Why don’t you spend some more time with Erik if you’re going to be drooling all over him?”

Boy does he feel a fool when you show him a picture of the little elk in your village.

“Kei, were you jealous?”

“Tch.”

Yamaguchi Tadashi

“Rowan is so cool. And so cute! He’s definitely my absolute favorite.”

Yamaguchi’s attention snaps to you, wide-eyed. Who is Rowan?

“W-Who is Rowan?”

Yama’s a pretty shy guy, but he’s not really the type to jump to conclusions either. So if he was nervous about something you said, he’d ask right away instead of stewing in it.

Which is good for him, because now he knows that you aren’t going all mushy over another boy, just a particularly cool cartoon tiger. You’d show him the character on your Switch screen and shoot him a smile so infectious he can’t help but mirror it.

I also think Yama is the most likely to become interested in Animal Crossing after you show him! He’d want to see all your other villagers too, not realizing how far you were leaning into each other’s space as you gave him a tour of your town.

[theblackandgold-series]

The Prince and The Boy (7)

Chapter 7: Talk 2 U

A College AU

Texas Southern University (Houston, TX)

Ship: Chiron Harris x Erik Stevens

Warning(s): none

Song Playing In The Car

Erik is great at many things and procrastination is definitely one of them considering he was supposed to leave to meet up with Khalil for warm up 10 minutes ago. An incoming call from Khalil interrupts Erik’s frenzied state.

“Nigga where the hell you at? Coach is lookin’ for you. You were supposed to be here a while ago. ”

“I’m on my way, just give me a mi—“. Another call, this time from Shuri on his kimoyo beads, interrupts him yet again. “Man what the fuck do y’all want?” Erik brooded, “I got shit to do.” He raises his phone back to his ear, “Look, Imma be there. Just give me a few more minutes.” He hangs up with Khalil and answers his beads , “What’s up cuzzo?”

“N’Jadaka! How are you? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“I know, I’ve been busy. What’s up? How’s auntie?”

“She’s doing well; so is T’Challa. Speaking of mother,” Shuri quickly changed the subject, “she told me that you made a new friend.”

“A new friend, huh?” Erik chuckles, “Yeah, she be telling all my business.”

Erik walks out of the door with his stuff in his hand and heads to meet his teammates, all while continuing to talk to his cousin, who, just like her mother, wanted to know all about Chi. “Soooo, are you going to tell me about this ‘friend of yours?”

“What do you want to know about him?” Erik smiles, thinking about Chi as he drives to practice.

“Well, mother already told me his name, so what’s he like? Is he as wild as you?”

“Nah, he ain’t wild like me. you gotta chill on me lil cuz, but he’s chill. Real quiet, runs track. I don't know what else to tell you about him.”

Erik pulls into the gym parking lot, quickly grabbing his things and rushing out of the car, still continuing his conversation with Shuri.

“I mean he real shy, so I’m not trying to push him into anything, but he knows how I feel about him. He had a bad relationship so he’s not sure, which I understand. When things are back on track and we get to know each other more, y’all can meet him.” There’s a brief pause as Erik tries to end the conversation with Shuri since he’s getting closer to the gym. “But hey, I have a game to get ready for, tell everyone I love them and I’ll call you tomorrow or something.” He hangs up on the beads, Shuri barely getting her “goodbye” out.

Erik walks in the building, rushing to where his team is. He only gets a few seconds until he’s getting greeted by various teammates and eventually makes his way to Khalil. “What took your ass so long, man?”

“Sorry, I got caught up on the phone with my cousin.”

“Don’t let it happen again, Stevens,” his coach scolded him as he walks past. Erik nods in acknowledgement and turns back to Khalil.

“You sure that’s all that held you up,” Khalil questions lowly so only Erik can hear. “What you mean?”

“I thought that maybe,” Khalil continues “that Chi might’ve texted you or something.”

“Nah, I keep checking my phone for him,” Erik admits, “but I was just talking to my family.” Khalil nods, lightly tapping Erik on the arm, “Hey, he’ll call eventually.”

Erik just gives a shrug “Look man, it is what it is. It’d be great if he calls, but it’s not much I can do at this point.”

Erik brushes the conversation off and focuses on this game tonight. He can’t stress about Chi right now.

Erik and Khalil start talking about other non-Chi related things, when Erik’s attention is pulled away when he hears his name being called from across the locker room “Stevens!”. His head snaps toward where his name came from and finds his teammate, Sean. Erik looks over to him, “What you want nigga?”

Erik never really got along with Sean due to his cockiness, which leads to frequent arguments on and off the field about his ways, but Sean wasn’t changing for anyone.

“I just wanted to say ‘good luck’, nigga. Damn.”

“You too, nigga” Erik nods with not a bit of sincerity, and goes back to what he was doing.

As Sean walks off, Khalil speaks up again “Yo, I heard something about him the other day.”

”Who?”

“Sean. Apparently him and some dude had a thing and he played him.”

Erik doesn’t really think anything of it, only adding “Sounds about right. That nigga ain’t no good.”

After an intense game ending in victory, Erik talks to Khalil and one of his other teammates, Chance, as they all file back into the locker room. Slowly, everyone starts to leave until its just Erik and Khalil left.

“I’m bout to head out,” Khalil tells Erik as he grabs his bag and starts towards the door, “You comin?”

“Yeah, man. Give me a second.”

Chance walks back in, wondering why the pair is taking so long. “What y’all niggas doing?”

“We walking out, bro.” Erik gets up, grabs his bags and they start to leave.

As they’re walking towards the door, they see Chi walking up and give a small wave.

“Hi,” he looks directly at Erik, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Erik's face lights up, “Yeah, yeah, of course we can talk.” He turns to Khalil and Chance. “I’ll catch up with y’all later.” Khalil and Chance smirk to each other as they walk to their cars.

After they leave, Erik gives his full attention to Chi. “So...how are you?”

“I’m good. How’re you?”

“Better now that you’re here.” Erik’s flirtatiousness never took a break. They might not have spoken for a minute, but he still missed Chi. He especially missed how he made Chi nervous in a good way; his shyness made him even more adorable. Chi smiles and Erik’s reminded of how much he missed that pretty ass smile, too.

“Good game tonight by the way” Chi snaps out of his daze just taking the sight of Erik in.

“Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you for coming tonight.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” There’s a slight pause before Erik continues, “So...what did you want to talk about?”

“Us,” Chi responds boldly. “I figured,” Erik breathed, “What about us exactly?” Erik doesn’t show it, but he’s bracing himself for the worst. If Chi calls this whole thing off, he has to be ready for it.

Chi begins to speak as he leads Erik out of the building and out into the parking lot, “I took some time out to think about us, and what you said the last you came over after the date” Chi begins. “Okay,” Erik mumbles cautiously.

“And I think,” Chi continues “I finally figured it out.”

They stop in front of Erik’s car. “I do want this. I’m nervous, but I’m sure that I want this” Chi says, as they walk to Erik’s car.

Erik lets out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding. “Well that’s good, because I still want this, too. There is one thing I want to get straight if we are gonna do this, though.” Chi gets worried. This was going good, so what did Erik want to talk about?

“I wanna make sure that this doesn’t happen again.” Chi’s confused for a second before Erik continues. “I’m not talking about you needing space, that’s fine, I’m talking about us communicating. I know I said something about it before, but I just wanna be clear: if this is gonna work, we need complete honesty. That means telling me when something’s bothering you. It’s also means trusting me to tell you things. I’m not the type to hide things.”

Chi nods. He realizes him shutting down when he’s not sure about things or he’s upset isn’t going to work this time. If things are going to be different with Erik, he has to be different.

Chi catches movement out of the corner of his eye over Erik’s shoulder.

It’s Sean, making his way over to him and Erik.

He walks over and addresses Erik first, dapping him up, which Erik reluctantly returns. “Proud of you nigga. Keep it up E.” Hand still clasped with Erik’s, he winks at Chi, “How you doin’, Chiron?” He smirks, drops Erik’s hand, and walks away. Erik’s eyes boring into his back until he disappears He looks back to Chi “What was that?

Chi’s playing with his keys, avoiding Erik’s eyes, “That’s my ex.”

Erik’s shaking his head. It all makes sense now. Erik’s thinking “I knew I didn’t like that nigga for a reason.”

“Yeah, his attitude is terrible,” Chi says rolling his eyes which land on his shoes, not wanting to make eye contact with Erik after what just happened.

“Hey, I don’t wanna talk about that nigga. We talking about us.” Erik holds Chi’s hands to stop him playing with his keys. “Ok.” Chi’s voice is soft. Erik unlocks his car and puts his stuff inside.

“Let’s sit in the car and talk” Erik offers. Erik, ever the gentleman, open Chi’s door for him, then walks to the driver’s side to get in himself. As soon as the door closes, he turns his body towards Chi.

“Everything I said after our first date and now, I mean it. I'm so serious, I want this and I'm not gon do you like he did. You deserve more than that. You gotta let me in, though.”

Chi gives him a small nod and another quiet “Okay”. He’s ready to try, he’s ready to try and let go of all the past pain because if the future looked anything like Erik, then that seemed pretty good to him.

“Okay?” Erik wants to hear Chi louder.

“Okay” Chi’s a little louder so Erik can hear him, with a teasingly exasperated tone “I hear you” Chi looks over to Erik.

Erik reaches over to hold Chi’s hand. “So what’s next for us?” Chi asks. He’s never really had this conversation before.

Erik’s playing with Chi’s hand as he answers him, “More communication, more spending time together.” Erik looks to him.

“I like the sound of both of those things.”

There’s a comfortable silence as they just stare at each other. They both start to lean in, but Erik closes the gap. Chi’s tenses up at first, but quickly eases into the kiss

He allows himself to fully give into the kiss, trying to convey to Erik through the kiss that he’s willing to give this relationship a real shot and that he wasn’t going to run away. Not this time.

Chi pulls away first, smiling at Erik. “I'm gonna hold you to everything you’ve said.”

“I got you, Chi” Erik smirks at him.

After almost two hours of them sitting, talking and smiling at each other, Chi starts to get out of the car. Erik stop him before he can fully open the door. “Hold up, you think Ima just let you walk to your car”

“What, you gon take me over there?”

Erik looks at him like it should be obvious. “yeah, now get back in” Erik motions for him to get in. Chi settles back into the car, “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Erik turns his music back up and pulls off.

Music comes through the speakers. Erik’s vibing and Chi’s riding with his eyes closed, thinking back to the kiss. Even with Sean he never felt anything like that, it always felt forced. He felt at ease with Erik.

They pull up to Chi’s car too quickly for either of their likings, so they continue to sit for a minute, not wanting the moment to end. Erik’s sitting with his seat back as they talk some more and continue to listen to music. Finally, they both decide that the night has come to an end. “Ima call you later tonight” Erik looks over to Chi, that seductive smirk still on his face.

“I'll be up,” Chi grins.

“Say less.” Erik’s enjoying the new courage Chi has found. It’s enough for him to flirt back and Erik can’t wait to see what else the newfound courage will lead Chi to do.

Chi makes the first move this time, leaning in with Erik meeting him halfway. Their lips stay locked until they have to come up for air. Erik wraps his arms around him, hugging him. Erik pecks his lips one last time. “Text me when you get home.”

Chi has to stop himself from saying “okay” for the 30th time. “I will. You’ll answer, right?”

“Of course, I got you.” Erik grabs his hand and squeezes it, “I always text you back” Erik laughs. Everyone else knows he’s a terrible texter but for Chi, he makes sure to respond.

“Ima go, but I’ll be up when you call.” Chi finally gets out of the car gets into his. Erik watches as he drives off before going home himself. He spends the whole ride home thinking about Chi, the smile not coming off of his face once.

Once he gets home he showers and changes real quick. Once he’s in bed he calls Chi and they end up talking the rest of the night about them, school, and other things that come to mind. Before he hangs up, Erik remembers seeing that Kendrick Lamar will be in Houston soon and has a date idea in mind.

“Hey, so next weekend I’m free and Kendrick’s coming to Houston. Do you want to go with me? I’ll pay for the tickets and everything, it ain’t no issue for me.” Erik beamed excitedly, not waiting for Chi’s answer before he continues. “We can get something to eat before a chill around the city. Whatever you want.”

Chi’s loving it. Just being able to see someone being so happy at the thought of spending time with him was amazing. “Sounds good to me.”

“Cool, it’s a date,” Erik yawns as he sets the date.

“You tired?” Chi guesses, rubbing his own eyes as he lays in bed.

“Yeah, I need some sleep. I’ve been busy all day” the night’s game finally catching up with him, zapping all of his energy. “Good night, Erik.”

“Good night, Chi. You gon sit with me in class monday, right?” Chi laughs. “Yeah, I am.”

Erik smiles, “Aight, I’ll talk to you later.”

tags: @wakandas-vibranium @bartierbakarimobisson@randomwordprompts@storibambino@theultimateblacknerdwithglasses@stressedgyal  @great-neckpectations @wakandan-flowerz@blackgirloneshots @panthergoddessbast@maya-leche@texasbama @killmongerdispussy @yaachtynoboat711 @hearteyes-for-killmonger@erikaintdead @blackmissmarvel @blackpantherislife @awkwardlyabstract @blowmymbackout @forbeautyandlife @babygirlofwakanda @theunsweetenedtruth @icedcawfee @killmongersgurl @babybluepeaches @eriknutinthispoosy @vikkidc @killmoncoochie@nicknameiskittie @onyour-right @hidden-treasures21 @afro-royalty @hazzasunrise

[thepeakmoment]

More Peaks Returns

It appears to me that Lynch is inserting some heavy commentary about societal behavior, the most obvious being the “fix your hearts or die” assertion about Denise Bryson’s transition. Another clear instance is the decay of social norms exemplified by the elaborate unfolding drug storyline. Several characters are being depicted wheeling and using drugs, and Lynch-Frost are telling an updated version in P5 of the illicit activity, how it has already effected Shelly’s daughter and husband, a continuing cycle of abuse and dysfunction still playing out.

I also believe Sherrif Frank Truman is a personification of Lynch’s transcendental meditation wisdom. Harry Truman’s brother is an honest character and to be trusted absolutely as a transparent truth teller. His name is the very meaning of honest, open, direct — Frank. His earnestness is exemplified when Doris Truman shows up at station spouting domestic house anxieties while Truman remains sitting, saying nothing at all throughout. It reads like a subtle teaching of how not to respond to anxious energy, worry and dis-ease — do not engage with it. This is classic buddhism — how everything arises from conditions, has a presence in the moment, then decays when conditions change — thus, everything changes, no reason to get wrapped in unnecessary entanglements, including the wrath of someone overreacting to common occurrence. See impermanence.

A Twin Peaks Podcast: A Podcast About Twin Peaks and Deer Meadow Radio are two of the better podcasts on The Return worthy of listening.

Random

Richard Horne — is this the first clue from ?????’s prophetic clues, “Watch for Richard… and Lynda.”

Richard Horne passes bribe money in a pack of Morley cigarettes… the brand of choice for Cigarette Smoking Man.

Salesman asking Lucy at desk for Sheriff Truman, Lucy asks which one? An in-joke allusion to another Sheriff Truman duality, Harry-Frank.

There was a bonsai plant on side table next to Sam sitting on couch in P1, which was also featured in original series’ S2 Windom Earle arch.

Marjorie Green carries her dog, Armstrong, a small Mexican Chihuahua.

Here’s a good article on the absence of Badalamenti music thus far in The Return. 

No white dot in Bob Cooper's pupil/eye — life-less .

End of P4 before Bang Bang Bar is blue rose scene… shot in blue tint

Owl cookie jar on counter behind Dougie Cooper during breakfast 

A lot of Lynch visuals hearkens to Eraserhead, coming full circle in his cinematic journey of a master’s craft.

On Jun 4, 2017, at 9:59 AM, Dom wrote: I think I made a nice discovery which I posted on Reddit (Fred_Truax).

I cannot find Fred[undescore]Truax in any reddit search — author:Fred_Truax yields nothing. I’m not a Reddit reader, the whole thing is a fuck show of multi-threaded comments. It hurts my brain to go there. I can tolerate direct links, though.…

Reading Best Fan Theories at Indiewire, one theory suggests Wally Brando is really dead (source: Reddit /u/chblank), that “Lucy and Andy [are] in denial and shock … of losing her only son as a child.… Sheriff [Frank] Truman may have hired an actor to play their son — a role that fake Wally took literally, considering his “The Wild One” getup and bad “Godfather” impersonation. This could also explain why Wally Brando makes a point of telling his parents that they can convert his childhood bedroom into a study, as a way to help them move on and let go of the past.”

Same article posits that the headless body in the librarian’s apartment belongs to Major Briggs (source: Reddit /u/billy_yllib11). “Although the decapitated head belongs to the dead woman, there is a grotesquely contorted body detached underneath, one that comes from an unknown person. Later, we learn the forensics team has a match on the body, but they need military clearance to unlock its identity. Perhaps the kind of clearance that Major Briggs once had when he was working on top secret projects for the government? Of course, if the decapitated body does in fact belong to Major Briggs, it would also contextualize the appearance of his disembodied head, which floated in space at the beginning of [P3].” …But how does Dougie Cooper’s ring get in stomach?

I also noticed something strange about those two scenes:

In episode one when Sam leaves the Glass Box room the second time to go into the lobby to see Tracey (and the security guard is NOT there) he leaves the small black box of video cards on the step ladder near one of the cameras. The black box remains on the step ladder for the entire scene almost. The box disappears for a moment when they start to take off their clothes, then is back on the step ladder right before they are attacked.

However in episode 2 when Cooper enters the Glass Box and we think Sam is in the Lobby with Tracey, you can clearly see the black box of video cards and his pen on the side table next to the small couch he sits on.

Did Cooper enter this room at a different time they what it appears to be? Is Cooper in a second identical room? I just think its weird the black box is in two different locations in what appears to be the same time?

What do you guys think?

I’m beginning to understand these time shifts as backward dimension bleeding into forward dimension. BOB Cooper begins “‘yrev' very good to see you again old friend” to Gordon Cole when they first see each other again (P4). Relatedly, there’s fervent speculation that Sonny Jim blinks backwards while in back seat of car when Dougie Cooper notices Sonny and sheds a tear (P5).

Backward-forward are the two directions in which one can enter-exit the Black Lodge, shown to us in Classic Peaks and FWWM. Now we’re seeing vertical up-down direction to enter into-exit out of the Lodge, exhibited by the sudden vertical floor vibration as the Arm's doppelgänger appears and Cooper falls down through floor. Or Laura pulled up off the floor screaming into oblivion, as well as  the ghostly pirate-like figure in a jail cell floating up into thin air.

Backwards is a reality dimension different from forward (as normal) dimension. P3 glitchy quick backward-forward movement when Cooper lands into hub in space and interacts with eyes sown shut woman, a reality between the two dimensions (?), existing on the threshold — Dweller on the Threshold?

This new movement is depicted in the opening title sequence when the wavy-flowing red curtains cross fade to chevron pattern panning across floor, seemingly tracking the camera in a circle. I love the new title sequence opening drone shot over the falls, hangs on waterfall from above, dissolves to a slight CU of waterfall spray, then segues to the rhythmic curtains — an abstract version of the classic series opening dissolves from the waterfalls to a flowing river.

I am also convinced that Laura is going to leave the Black Lodge somehow and venture into the real world.

On Jun 4, 2017, at 3:01 PM, Erik wrote: Dom, did you see the Tweet I sent your way? with the info that the Casino Cooper goes to in Vegas was actually filmed in Commerce, CA. (they have actual casinos there) about 35 miles from my house. judge for yourself...

<PHOTO>

Dudes, when we finally graduate from trekking back to Peaks (WA), we have to eat at The Roadhouse Restaurant & Inn. Can’t believe we overlooked this. We’ve done the original Mar-T Cafe (plus the deplorably named and renovated Twede’s) and Fall City Grill (Haps Diner), we gotta do the Roudhouse, regardless if it’s only the exterior.

It will be interesting to see if the green revolving doors that Cooper has trouble with are actually here as well. So I guess we know where you might stay next time you come out here to Pin Peaks Locations. I thought it would even be fun to get a room and watch the season finale there, then go down to the gaming floor and "Helllloooooo!"

As far as the actual plot...

I have come upon no clues or conclusions at all. It is very dense material. What little I have read online is complex and sometimes implausable, but who am I to say?   I like the scene when Douggie is getting dressed and Sonny Boy … comes out and they make a lot of visual and action references to the Season 2 opening scene. What does it mean?  No clue.

In P4 Cooper is Home — Dougie Cooper says aloud, “Home.” This is symbolized as a birthday with balloons in the kitchen behind him. Similar balloon shapes appear when he is dropped off at outside of work building, when Cooper mimics statue pointing gun. I’m thinking Dougie is the character Lynch-Frost are using to teach the viewer how to assimilate and understand the Twin Peaks world view. From Dougie's point of view, he seems to know little or nothing about the world. He’s in process of making sense of it, and now that he's starting from home, we should follow along and we'll learn together. As viewers, we’re putting some faith in the storyline will resolve eventually, even if only in part. During the following scene when Gordon meets Denise Bryson in her office, she says, "I trust you Gordon." We should trust Lynch.… But how does this all jive with ??????’s “You are far from home”?

Gonna review a bit and start my edible regimen, no cherry pie this week, coffee and donuts YES. Last time, I cracked a beer when it started, had a full bowl next to the food. I did not touch either of them for 2 hours straight. Completely forgot about them actually. Totally engaged.   Only ate pie, donuts and coffee... I'll have messenger open at 5:30PM est standing by.

On Jun 7, 2017, at 4:38 PM, Dom wrote: So who do you think are Richard Horne's parents? Audrey and Cooper? Audrey and Jack? Ben and his wife? Jerry and some random chick?

Definitely not the son of Cooper and Audrey. Cooper’s been in the Lodge and he shot Audrey down at every turn before meeting Annie. The other possibilities are intriguing and any of them are plausible. Audrey and Jack — do you mean John Justice Wheeler? Richard Horne seems to be 25 years old and got hooked up with the wrong crowd, that’s easy to do these days. Ben and his wife? Maybe, they could have reconciled their stormy marriage. Ben does seem to have remained steadfast in earnest goodness since emerging from his civil war. Perhaps Richard Horne is Jerry's son that steals his father’s weed to sell. Or maybe Jerry is a big kahuna now in the drug trade? I doubt it. Regardless who the parents are, Richard is a Bobby Peru/Leo Johnson mutt that fits right into Lynch’s social commentary of prevalent drug use still running amok in the world.

Great to see Mike return too.

Would be cool if Mike and Bobby had a beer together at The Roadhouse, catch up a bit with each other — Bobby asking Mike, “Do you remember Laura Palmer?…” I wonder how Bobby will act around Shelly?

I also have another prediction;

The person Gordon wants to look at Cooper will be Diane play by Laura Dern. That's not much of a shock but...

Remember when Albert says he doesn't know where she lives, but knows where she drinks...

My prediction is that they will find Diane (Laura Dern) in that bar we went to in Los Angeles that night I arrived on my last visit. It has all of the nice woodwork and we had to walk down a flight of stairs to enter.

I have resisted right from the outset of Laura Dern cast as Diane. I don’t really want Diane’s identity to be revealed, would much rather have her remain anonymous on the other side of Cooper’s dictaphone. I know there’s speculation and makes sense that Diane will appear as Dern, but this way too obvious, especially after all Lynch has presented us thus far — even considering how close Dern is to Lynch. But still, I hope it isn’t so.…

I also find it weird that Agent Tammy Preston in episode 4 had to ask Albert who Phillip Jeffries is. She learned about his existence in the Secret history of Twin Peaks as she was the agent in charge of examining the dossier. She even added her own notes about him.

That is awesome about the Casino. Next time I come to Los Angeles, I am so game to go play some slots. HELLO  O  OOO OOOO!

[amorremanet]

2, 10, 42, 47

asks for fanfic writers

well, no. 10 and no. 42 are over here, but!

2. things that motivate you

* The stereotype that autistic spectrum people are only good for STEM-related things. Like, for all of the folks on the spectrum who are good at STEM things, that’s great and I wish them all the best — but I suck at math and I can’t do anything science-related without turning it into, “how can I make a sociopolitical sci-fi critique out of this” or, “but do gay aliens believe in me,” so nah, I’m gonna pass on doing anything STEM-y.

I’d much rather give a big middle finger to everyone who has this ridiculous notion that autistic spectrum people are completely and utterly uncreative, and that we are only ever good for STEM things, and I’d like to do it by being successful in my chosen creative pursuits, please and thank you.

* Tangentially? Temple fucking Grandin. I don’t actually have any problems with her, herself — but I have a lot of problems with how allistic people hold her up as The One True Way To Be A Successful Person Who “Suffers From” Autism™ and how about fuck that, no. I want to be a successful autistic writer who is nothing like Temple Grandin, apart from both of us being white autistic women/dfab people who are going to be identified and treated as women by other people irl regardless of any wibbly wobbly messy gender feels on our part.

* Talking with people about my projects. On one hand, it’s a way of getting feelings kind of like validation. On the other, and way more importantly for me? I love getting feedback from people, or hearing the questions they come up with — like, on NYE, my aunt and I chatted back and forth about my novel while playing a weird card game with one of my cousins, and Aunt Kelly asked some questions that got me to put a few ideas I’ve been playing with into words more concretely, which was super-helpful — and I get a lot of motivation to work from getting jazzed up about things through talking with people.

* Totally a petty thing, but? Getting cranky with JK Rowling over all of the Good Ally Cookies she doesn’t actually deserve to claim, or all of the characters of hers who Deserved Better (lol, uh. today, my therapist learned that I get Upset about Percy Weasley very easily and about my longstanding hate-on for his parents, and bless her heart, when I went, “uh, I just over-identify with Percy Weasley a lot and there’s a good deal of projection going on here but I also don’t think I’m wrong,” she kinda smiled and nodded and went, “I can tell :)” — she’s great, I love her)

or how, even ignoring all of the #Problematic things about her body of work in the Potterverse, there’s SO MUCH GOOD SHIT in the HP series but she’s so clearly invested in the plot as she envisions it and the story she wants to tell for Harry, to the exclusion of all else, that she ends up completely short-changing basically every other character who is not named Severus Snape or Hermione Granger (most of the time, but not 100% of the time)

Like, I’ve said it before and I will say it until everyone is completely sick of me saying it, then I will continue saying it anyway: JKR views all of her characters — barring Harry, and sometimes Snape and Hermione — as plot devices more than she views them as characters.

She’s a bit better about some of them (Remus, Sirius but not as much as Remus, Ron and Luna but not as much as they deserve, Neville and Draco but not in the ways that they deserve)

but she’s really bullshit about most of them (this is not a complete list, but: Cho; Ginny; Cedric; Tonks; Fleur; Albus, Aberforth, and Ariana; Voldemort — not in that I need her to be sympathetic toward him but ffs, some 101-level consistency in his characterization would be nice; Kingsley; Percy; Wormtail; James; Lily;

Lockhart — “I’m not bitter about JKR’s ableism and victim-blaming with regard to Gildylocks,” I say bitterly, with a bitter expression, while hanging up informational posters about how bitter I am; Andromeda and Ted — deserved better, this is not a question or a debate, I want to say that it’s not even an opinion, but tbh, I know that it is, so hmph; Regulus; Barty Crouch Jr. because he is my Favorite and I can’t make this list without mentioning him;

Bellatrix — again, I don’t need her to sympathize with Bellatrix because how about no? but Bellatrix Black Lestrange is one of the shittiest villains I’ve ever read, in terms of HOW she was written, and I think a lot of the flaws in how JKR wrote her could have been remedied if she actually did anything to make Bellatrix a fully realized character, which would’ve made her a more effective and meaningful villain, and not a shrieking Saturday morning cartoon caricature;

Molly and Arthur — I’m not going into full detail about why I hate them today, you lot can just go read my tag on the subject if you want to know, and I don’t think that JKR’s “plot device first, people second” method of characterization is the only problem? But I think it’s a major contributing factor to The Problem Of Molly And Arthur, because she presents them as this image of Idyllic Domestic Perfection even when their actions and the internal fabric of the Weasley Family, don’t support that claim, and it sucks)

—basically, JK Rowling motivates me by fucking up a lot, because she was one of my idols as a kid and as a teenager, and she was a relevant and immediate source of inspiration because Oh My God You Can So Too Write Novels For A Living And Make A Difference In People’s Lives, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that she saved my life a few times, albeit mostly in indirect fashions…… but she fucks up a lot, and this is motivating for me because it makes me want to do better than her.

It’s not even exclusive to HP fic, either. Like, she’s one of my biggest sources of motivation to work on my novel and put thought and love and heart into making it the best that it can be — because I want to do better than her and even if I never have her kind of money (which lol, never gonna happen), I still want to beat her at something. Once I earn it, I will happily accept beating her at artistic integrity and commitment.

Is it petty? Yes, definitely. But hey, man, fish gotta swim, dogs gotta eat, and sometimes, I gotta think about my issues with JK Rowling to remember that I need to do better than her and motivate myself to do the work

* You know those, “do it for her/him” memes based on that one thing from The Simpsons that people make with their fave characters and/or celebs? Yeah, I kind of want to make one for myself with Oscar Wilde. Because there’s a lot about him that wasn’t ever perfect (he was a white guy in Victorian England, even accounting for his Anglo-Irishness, so…… yeah), and there are several points on which I don’t agree with him (like, for example: if you are such a shit to your wife that your boyfriend, who is so completely up his own ass that it’s a miracle he hasn’t found a way to Narnia, notices and calls you out on it? I’m kinda thinking that you might want to reassess how you treat people and stop being like that, bub)

—but I also want to be a fabulous gay Slytherclaw social satirist who uses that #aesthetic and the popular tropes of the day to do my own thing and redefine outside the box, and hey, if I ever get a, “wit and wisdom of…�� book published with some of my coolest quotables in it? That would be an awesome bonus.

* “Okay, but seriously: how obvious can I be that Yael and Elizabeth are a big, ‘fuck you’ to Marvel about all of their queerbaiting with Charles and Erik before I can get sued for it? Because while Yael and Elizabeth are still characters in their own right, their original inspiration was, ‘hey, what if I flipped the bird to Marvel about all of their fucking queerbaiting with Charles and Erik, and did it with extra lesbians? that’s be pretty fucking cool,’ and I don’t want to be sued, but I also don’t want for my point to be missed here”

—or more generally, “I can’t die before I finish my novel, I have a lot of people to piss off and call on their crap through the magic of the written word *makes a sparkly rainbow with my hands like Spongebob going, ‘imaginaaaaaaaation!!! :D’*”

* So, there’s this one bit in Dry, Augusten Burroughs’ memoir about the early parts of his struggle with alcoholism and addiction. In his rehab, one of their assignments for group therapy is to write letters to people in their lives and feel their feelings about these relationships. He writes to Pighead, his best friend/“it’s complicated,” who is HIV-positive.

Reading the letter at group, Augusten finds himself crying, then shares the whole tangled-up backstory that he and Pighead have together, from how they first met on a phone-sex line, to how Augusten fell hard in love with him, to how they were friends with benefits and then he told Pighead that he was in love with him and Pighead plays the, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” card (that is verbatim what he says in the book, and the way Burroughs reads it in the audiobook kills me every single time), so Augusten dates other guys and tries to fall out of love with Pighead, only for Pighead to come see him first when his HIV test comes back positive and realize that he’s In Love with Augusten only, “after he became diagnosed with a fatal disease”

—which gives us the great line, “Part of me felt deep compassion. And another part felt like, You fucker.”

(Which is seriously one of my top ten lines in all literature, ever. tbh, it’s probably top five, but the top ten list would be hard enough to come up with to begin with, and I’d have to parcel things out into Poetry, Prose [possibly split into Fiction and Nonfiction, at that], and Dramatic Writing just to get it down to ten things on each list, and? It’s just a perfect line, oh my god)

At the end of it, Augusten has a moment with Kavi, another one of the patients at his rehab, who is addicted to cocaine and sex. Kavi tells him about how he left his lover who was HIV-positive after his diagnosis, so that he wouldn’t be the person getting left for once, and about how he feels like cocaine never leaves him. And we get: “Suddenly, I want to drink.… I don’t want to drink in a jovial ‘Highballs for everybody!’ way. I want to drink to the point where I could undergo major knee surgery and not feel so much as a pinch.”

I just.

There is so much about this section of the book that fucks me up so hard, but in ways that I love so much — and there’s a lot that I love about it for a lot of reasons, but like?

Speaking entirely with my writer hat on right now?

That part is just immaculately written. Every word is perfectly chosen, and they are strung together just right. Burroughs chooses the exact right images and scenes to characterize his and Pighead’s developing relationship, and his moment with Kavi, and it’s just

This part of the book makes me remember why I write. Because I have been reading and rereading this book since high school — I have had my battered up and taped together paperback copy with the yellowing pages since Easter 2005 — and this part STILL fucks me up, every. single. time. The audiobook version of it still fucks me up every. single. time.

Back in high school when I first read it, it hit me so hard because I had a habit of falling in love with girls who were straight and/or just did not like me back (and it would get worse, because the girl I was in love with who dared me to write D*rarry just to see if I could? Would go on to put me in the position of being her Girl Friday while I got to watch her love everybody but me, and praise the creative work of everybody but me, and go on about how two of her other friends were totally brilliant and misunderstood creative geniuses because they were incomprehensible and it was totally bourgeois for me to want to write to be understood but it was okay she knows I’m ~mainstream like that, but then still call on me — which made the whole Augusten/Pighead thing hurt so much more for me because I was kind of her, “I love you, but I’m not In Love with you”)

(I will say this about that relationship: I didn’t handle it well, either. I was petty and jealous, and waaaay more damagingly? I hadn’t yet grasped the idea that you sometimes have to just let people be messed up at you about the shit they’re going though without trying to fix everything for them, especially when there’s nothing that you can actually do to fix it. In retrospect, it’s kind of hilarious that I loaned her a copy of Perks of Being A Wallflower that I never saw again, because the whole idea that you can’t just constantly put someone else’s needs before your own and call it love, and the related concept that doing this is actually kind of a form of selfishness, in a way?

………yeah, that was VERY relevant to how I handled that relationship, and she rightfully called me on a lot of shit related to those ideas, and I spent a lot of time having an unfair chip on my shoulder because I was jealous on one hand, and indignant about how her other friends got to be Real Artists™ because their shit was incomprehensible but I got to be a Poser Artist™ because I wanted to be understood and not just fap around with some neo-Dadaist nonsense — and as seen here, I still do have a chip on my shoulder about Dadaist anything, but in fairness, I’d have that with or without any of this story because Dada is the worst — and I’m not saying that I was totally pure or innocent in anything here.

But at the time, I cried a lot over Augusten/Pighead feels because I felt that whole, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” situation and trying to fall out of love with someone only to crumble when they needed you and resent them for needing you but hate yourself for resenting them — I felt all of that so hard.)

My appreciation for this part of the book has evolved and changed over time, and it’s deepened — as I’ve learned more about LGBTIQ history, I’ve come to appreciate the context of the story more and gain more of a sense of reverence for the LGBTIQ people who came before me and actually fought through the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and it has changed how I read this part of the book more than anything else (c.f., my passive-aggressive addition of the REST of the quote to one post of the, ‘deep compassion vs. you fucker’ part because I was really annoyed with a bunch of straight people who were reblogging it without the full context and acting like they actually had any idea what it’s like to be gay and in a situation like Augusten is with Pighead here) — and I just

The biggest thing about this part of the book that’s made it stick around for me? is that no matter how I’ve appreciated it at any point, and no matter which parts of it have been the most important to me at any given moment, and no matter WHY it’s fucked me up — it’s still fucked me up so hard every. singled. fucking. time…… but in a way that has always made me feel a lot less alone in the world

It’s sort of similar to something that one of my fiction profs in undergrad once said about creating characters: we were talking, in one of our biweekly one-on-ones, about a story I’d brought in with one of my more off-putting characters (his name is Emerson, he’s an abrasive little shit who does a lot of very fucked up things and was kind of influenced by the Kurt/Karofsky plot back in season two of Glee because that was happening on TV at the time and I had a lot of feelings about it that I didn’t have any other way to deal with because I didn’t want to write Glee fic about all of it. He was more similar to Karofsky than Kurt)

I was convinced that everyone would hate him (not least because he an asshole to basically all of the other characters and assaulted the guy he had a crush on while he was high). Instead, he was actually really popular and one of my classmates, who I admired because her writing was so lyrical and confident and she was a great person, said that she found herself identifying with him, especially during some of his worst moments in that draft. While I was boggling about this, Professor Lucy said that one of the reasons why Emerson went over so gangbusters in workshop was that, instead of going the route of creating a tabula rasa character like Stephenie Meyer wrote Bella Swan to be, I’d given him so many clearly defined character traits and behaviors

According to Professor Lucy, the specificity is what makes it easier for people to identify with characters and feel for them, because it makes them more fully realized. (The, “according to” is just for the sake of attribution because this is a point that I’ve taken to heart and that I do totally agree with Professor Lucy about.) And I feel that a lot with the Augusten/Pighead part of the book because it’s so specific and it’s so grounded and it’s so REAL

And that’s a huge part of why it’s always gotten to me emotionally, and why it’s stuck with me after all this time, and why it’s consistently made me feel less alone and irreparably freakishly weird

Anyway, this got way longer than I intended to get, but the ability to affect someone so deeply with your work — that’s a responsibility that I take very seriously when it comes to writing, with regard to all different aspects of how you can possibly do this with the written word — and this part of Dry is such a source of motivation for me because it’s such a great example, for me, of How To Do An Emotionally Affecting Writer Thingy Well

I use technical language like this because I am such a Serious Business Writer, oh yes I am

47. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

I usually don’t count, because it’s usually a lot and not all of them are really guaranteed to ever be properly finished, oops.