#Also anon you need to realize I misread your first ask and didn't realize that you wanted to write directly for my au

[my-my-my]

How do you think valentines day would be spent with modern au aizen (x fem reader). (Hi!! sorry for the late reply, I didn't see the post. Thanks for writing❤️❤️)

Thank you SO MUCH for your patience anon (and to the others who requested/sent asks for the past few weeks).

TW: None! Just hints of things, but this is very fluffy! Happy belated Valentine's Day :).

EDIT: Tumblr is again, cutting paragraphs off. If that's the case, I'll be posting this on AO3 in a few days!

Normally you never thought much about Valentine’s Day. For a long time you considered it as any other day, but being in a relationship with Aizen for the past few years... you couldn’t deny you looked forward to what he had instore for you.

It wasn’t like Aizen wasn’t romantic to you any other day of the year, far from it, but… as you smiled to yourself, thinking about the dates he planned in past years, and even tonight… Aizen would always manage to catch you off guard. Aizen didn’t want to admit that for you, he would go the extra mile. He wanted to sweep you off your feet.

Although he also knew that you weren’t fussy with romantic things. Grandiose displays of affection and love, while you were always quiet when receiving them, you were humbled and in awe of your appreciation of them. Aizen wasn’t one for half-measures, you learned, and he would never skimp his affection for you (unless he wanted to tease you).

At the same time, dating him showed another side of him you never realized before. It was interesting to watch him interact with other people outside of yourself though, there was a sense of coldness to him, but he was ever so polite and respectful. Many people misread him as being inherently kind, but he was just respectful. Aizen wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but his kindness was saved for you alone.

But it didn’t help that his glasses and disheveled hair gave him a gentle appearance as well.

As you stared at Aizen, asleep in your shared bed, you brushed a few stray hairs from his face, watching his sleeping form. You smiled as he sighed in his sleep, his brows furrowing at whatever dream he was having. It was interesting, you thought, of how you were scared of Aizen at first. He would never physically harm you, that wasn’t the fear, and it wasn’t how easily he could read you – you knew he could read others so well, but it was the way he acted around you specifically.

Aizen was curious about you.

Aizen also seemed baffled, and amused, at what you would do and say, but it made him smile.

For the first time in a long time, Aizen felt like he could speak his mind freely to you, and that was what scared you. Why did he feel like that around you alone?

Which is what you asked him many years ago. You laughed to yourself at the memory of his shocked face at the question. And for once, Aizen was at a loss for words.

But it was for a brief moment, as his shocked look disappeared when a genuine smile, followed by Aizen’s laughter, still ringing clear in your memory. The laugh, and the way he cupped your cheek to kiss your forehead, were such small actions that made you question if you were having a  dream at that moment. Aizen stared into your eyes, as you tried to read his emotions through his. It was then he took a deep breath.

“I never have to worry about being myself around you.” He said, with the softest of looks you had ever seen him have. “At first, I was drawn by your view of the world” Aizen said, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip gently, “then it was your honesty and kindness. The fact you even asked this question when many others wouldn’t have.”

“Every day is an adventure with you, one I’ll gladly come along.”

To him, you were the epitome of kindness and grace. Never one to disappoint, but also not one to run in fear of something. Unlike him, you had no hesitation in asking for help, or helping others. You would gladly help a friend, fully trusting them to help you when you needed their aid.

Aizen admitted to you, that was when he realized how alone he was, in that he relied so much on himself for everything. Everyone came to him for help, whether that would be advice, general life questions, and other things, but he didn’t have anyone he could rely on for the same support, until he met you. You were on the same page with him, for the first time in many years, Aizen felt like he could see eye-to-eye with someone, and he didn’t want to let you go.

But the more time you spent with him, you learned that his “warmth” to others, was an act. Not out of malice (sometimes), but out of preservation. Aizen was reserved and polite, but you piqued his curiosity for the better. The “kindness” he showed everyone else, isn’t real, but his kindness towards you…You knew that wasn’t an act. The first time he told you he loved you, you knew it took him a lot of courage to say it, for which you thanked him for and reciprocated back to him.  

So even if it’s just one day, one silly day – he would go the extra mile and shower you with grandiose displays of love, and you love and accept it wholeheartedly.

You kissed Aizen gently on the forehead as you brought yourself closer to him. Aizen awoke for a brief moment to register what was happening, before draping an arm around your body, bringing you closer to his bare chest. You couldn’t help bit wince a bit as your inner thighs and breasts ached from what happened hours before.

But before you could reminisce any further, Aizen pulled you tighter against him. His deep voice, laden with exhaustion, murmuring softly to your hair to go to sleep. You chuckled at the fact he caught you off guard again, but closed your eyes as you laid your head against his chest. Eyes fluttering to a close as you listened to the steadying beat of Aizen’s heart drifting you into dreamland.  

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Interested in your answers for 17 and 19 of the choose violence ask game, if you'd like to share them! Thank you :)

I was halfway through answering when I realized I totally misread the ask game. It is... not intended to be as dark as I made my answers, I think... oh well! I'm sticking to my guns. Anyone who's read my stuff knows this is a dead dove household lol

17. There should be more of this kind of fic/art

Oh man I'm about to Reveal Myself, but... I think KP as a whole could really use more noncon/dubcon, but KimChay especially (and Kim specifically). I read a fic a looong time ago when I first entered the fandom, it was like 400 words, and I'm not gonna name it in case the author doesn't want to be attached to it, but it was so good. Essentially Chay is very enthusiastic in the smut and Kin can't bring himself to say no, and I just!!! That is the good shit to me. I feel like especially post-reconciliation, Kim is exactly the kind of person that would overcompensate for breaking Chay's heart by giving him everything he wants. (i may be writing a fic about this already, called Stress Relief. That may or may not ever be posted. That may or may not be based on my own personal trauma. Anyway.) On a lighter note! I want to see more AUs! I'm a bit spoiled coming from the TW fandom, which is like. One of the most prolific fandoms on Ao3. But mannn, I want to see KimChay writers branch out and get absolutely unhinged with their AUs!

19. You're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Lets be real. My first answer was non-con. There's really not a lot I'm ashamed about lol. I mean I've got like 3 different tentacle monster fics in the works, I've got a Wuju Bakery fic that's 90% slime and oviposition (technically still up for debate. Eggpreg?). I'm all in on the things I like, and don't care/think much about the things I don't. I think I've been in fandom long enough, and gotten old enough, that I just... don't have time to waste on being awkward anymore. Lose your shame! Cast off your shackles! That said I used to think rimming was really gross and I don't like it irl but there are some people who just write it like. unf. Hot damn. I'm a little mad at @ae-azile for that one chapter of Progression 👀

Also not mad/ashamed/horrified, but I was surprised at how much I love reading autistic Kim and writing trans!Kim. For the first one I think the writers in this fandom do an excellent and convincing job at characterizing him (esp @kimkhimhant my beloved <3) without infantilizing him, which... happens a lot with autistic characters. Like, the writing is so spot on that I didn't even question in, I pretty much immediately assimilated that into my mental rolodex of headcanons. 10/10 A+ effort for everyone around.

The trans!Kim aspect is also really fun. I'd never really written trans characters before, but this past year, and the past couple of months especially, I've been really struggling with my own gender and identity. So writing about that through Kim has been really therapeutic. (Adding to my first answer, we need more trans!Kim!) Although... I do hope that the particular way I've chosen to explore his gender in Dystocia is.. taken gracefully. Since it does revolve around Kim having a very traumatic pregnancy (and a lot of other trauma in general), which I know can be triggering for people. Whenever I eventually post that monster of a fic I'm just going to liberally tag it with all the things and hope for the best lol.

I think Dystocia and Stress Relief are two fics that I'm incredibly nervous to post, both because of how personally significant they are to me in a way most of my fics aren't, and because they're both very dark, which IDK if that's something people really want to see from KimChay (esp in Stress Relief).

Anyway! This is a lot wordier and darker than it probably needed to be, and IDK if it's what you were looking for dear anon, but thank you for the ask!

[derangedthots]

Hi author, anon about the ask over your CTF Jace and Aemond characterization here ✌🏾

First of I want to say that you are very kind to answer all of our asks, questions and comments. I of course left various comments on your fics but I often wonder if I or we, aren’t annoying you … but then I guess that is also the beauty of fanfiction over regular fiction novels,right ? the access, the direct line of communication the readers have with the writer. anyway a very tiny paragraph to say that I’m very grateful for your interactions with us on your tumblr.

To go back to my ask & your answer … I hope you didn’t think I was disparaging your Aemond and its characterization (if it came out that way I really apologize). I think he’s very likable and comes out as any individual who lost his eye & didnt get too see the perpetrator punished, and finally got a dragon and saw himself being reprimanded for it. Meaning he’s bitter, angry and slightly closeted. Also the yearning he has for Jacaerys that you made us peeped in the last chapter made him a very compelling character.

I like what you say abt still maintaining Aemond’s (book canon and show canon) darkness and his thoughts being as dark as his heart. Now I imagine CTF!Aemond’s yearning for Jacaerys is not all rainbows and flowery hope of a courtship. I figure at night, in his room … he must think abt all he could to Jacaerys …🫣

I also like what you say abt Aemond having to change for a place next to Jacaerys. It also parallel how Jacaerys will have to accept Aemond and his not so savory parts too (& also how the throne will inevitably change Jacaerys in some capacity). Ultimately both Jace and Aemond will have to make concessions to be together but also put a lot of trust in one another and love, lust and trust don’t often go together. They have a long way to go … which is probably very fun for you to write as the author.

Sending you good vibes for your college classes !

don't worry, you aren't annoying me at all!! in fact, it's always incredibly touching to me that you guys care abt something i've made so much that you're so curious abt it. i'm grateful for interacting with you too!!💕💕

also absolutely no need to apologize, it didn't come off like you were disparaging my characterization of aemond, i was just running off 3hrs of sleep that day and answering your ask at almost 1am so i misread and didn't realize i went off on a nearly unrelated tangent until after i'd posted😅😅 even when i was delirious tho, i just thought you were commenting on book!aemond's dark traits and wondering how much of them i would be incorporating (part of that whole spiel was also just me preemptively responding to any future issues readers might have with my interpretation)👍🏼

"bitter, angry, and slightly closeted" is such an excellent description of aemond in general but CTF!aemond especially😂😭 let's just say he thinks some very...colorful and impassioned thoughts abt jace frequently😳🫣 i'm glad you find my characterization of him compelling!!

since the FMF/CTF universe is supposed to be a fix-it, i'm really trying to get jacemond's dynamic to be as healthy as possible. not necessarily perfect by our modern standards of course, it is still westeros, but healthy all the same. and i personally think it's a mark of a healthy/equal relationship when you don't try to change one another but rather, your love inspires each other to change. (otherwise, what are you there for? just find someone who already fits your necessary criteria lol, trying to build-a-bear a relationship you're already in just sounds like a recipe for endless fights and disappointment+disaster) but yeah i'm a romantic what can i say🥲🤷🏻‍♀️ like you mention, there's still a long way to go before both them get to being completely level with each other; trust, i think, must preclude love - it has to be there for it to form in the first place, otherwise it's just lust/obsession - and neither of them are really at trust yet. it's def equal parts fun to flesh out but also frustrating bc i know all of us just wanna be there already😂

thank you for the good vibes, i'm sending you some too! i hope life treats you amazing!!♥️

[mystxmomo]

Could we have a yasuke matsuda character analysis type thing, this is the anon who wants to write in your twin au and itd really help give some direction

He’s a bitch and I love him for it.

Nah, really uhhh. Okay, so to be honest, right now Matsuda is sitting in a weird grey zone where I’ve only had him for like. A month. Like I’d die for him, but I picked him up off the street and he’s still bandaged and covered in flea’s. So I haven’t hyper analyzed him, let alone written for him nearly as much as I have other characters. I’ll give it the ol’ college try, but if it sounds like I’m piecing things together more then speaking in confidence that’s why.

You want one thing to sum up Matsuda’s character? Here you go. 

I didn’t even need to do any of the work, this is it. This is all you need to know about Matsuda.

…

So, what stuck out to me most about Matsuda’s character is like.. damn, he’s the perfect example of a morally grey character. It’s not that he doesn’t have morals, it’s that what’s important to him is not whats important to everyone. In the novel, what (who) is important to him is Junko. His entire motivation is protecting her by any means he needs to. He will easily ignore the whole, feeling of discomfort and guilt as a result to this loyalty to her, and you know! Sometimes that leads to extreme jumps in logic, like uhhh killing people and hiding corpses. But that’s not against HIS moral, which is protect this one very important person in his life.

So with that in mind, do me a favor a take a step back from Junko. I’m going to generalize and say that this is just how this man is about things he’s deemed important to him. Neuroscience? Going into it as a field was 100% a spite and anger move. This man is fueled by spite and anger. It drips off his personality in waves, there is NO escaping it. But also, the fact that he’s an ultimate neuroscientist at like 17 says a lot about the lengths this mans stubbornness reaches. Is kinda how I feel it.

If you’re a DnD nerd like me, then Lawful Neutral is where I’d put him. He’s someone that’s willing to do bad, horrible, nasty things if it means sticking to the principle he has. But he HAS that principle. One way or the other, He has his priorities and he’s gonna stick to them. 

Again. It just so happens that in canon, his priority was so focused around Junko.

And, going back to a DIFFERENT point. He has a LOT of extreme leaps in logic like (Even if they aren’t all, you know. Choking someone to death and hiding bodies). There’s a scene in 0 where he ties Otonashi down to a bed because she wandered off, but then proceeds to lay under the bed and have an entire conversation with her from under the bed? And I was like. Waiting for the twist on that. I was waiting for there to be a surprise like, it wasn’t him. But no, he just.. did that. (And, granted, I might be misremembering a detail as to why he did that beyond her wandering off. I kinda listened and read this in fever dream like haze) 

So. Yeah. Eccentric and kind of erratic in his behavior sometimes. It probably has to do with the whole like.. implied anxiety driven and depressed insomniac. 

Now, this next part goes without saying but he’s a vulgar, blunt person. I’m trying not to linger too heavily on this because I think this is one of his more obvious character traits that gets played into a lot, and there’s not like. Much to dig into. He has a short fuse, doesn’t have a filter. He’s a catty person with a dry sense of humor, but also knows how to use this to his advantage. It’s a defense mechanism and he has it mastered.. 

Another thing that makes him unique I guess to just like.. even the danganronpa universe, is that he’s not oblivious to this system that the school has set up, and doesn’t worship talent or hopes peaks dick. He knows that people here worship talent, knows that they’re taking advantage of societies view on their highclass school, and knows that its all for the sake of money. He just knows how the system works, and knows how to use it to his advantage. He’s willing to play into the Steering Committee’s hands on multiple occasions, because it will get him what he needs. 

(But also, you know. Snaps at them multiple times and tells them to go fuck themselves. Even if he’s willing to play into their hands to get what he wants, he will tell them they’re being unreasonable and morons to their face. He will let them know he doesn’t respect them, because he knows he’s in a position where he can get away with it.)

So, despite all this. Despite everything I just talked about, I genuinely do not think Matsuda at his core, on his own, is an inherently malicious person. I don’t think he’s going out of his way looking to harm others (Physically, I mean. Verbally, I don’t think he gives a shit at all.) Like, he IS a doctor, and I think that goal of helping people is still there. However, the person he’s attached himself to, and canonly the only important person he has in his life (Junko) IS a malicious person that plays him like a damn fiddle. 

A lot of the traits, you’ll notice, are good things that are taken to their extreme and pushed into bad things. He’s smart enough to know that hopes peak is a shitty place. He still plays into their hands. He’s loyal to someone, but that someone is a horrible person. He’s headstrong, but it’s fueled by spite and anger. He’s able to keep his composure, even when he’s uncomfortable or nervous, but you know. Ends up fucked up emotionally as a result.

He also just shows a lot of concern for Otonashi as a vulnerable person despite bullying her a lot, but how much of that has to do with the whole. Junko thing, and how much of it is her genuine vulnerability and forgetfulness is?? Give me another week or two and come back to me on that. But I think it’s way more interesting if this is just a thing as his person, being inherently more sympathetic to people in vulnerable positions, even if he still acts like a bitch. But I Digress.

He has a lot of inherently good traits pushed to the extremes. And I just think thats very, very neat. 

He just cares about someone shitty, because she’s all he has. This doesn’t excuse the whole murder and corpse hiding thing, but also I don’t think he would have done these things if it weren’t for the fact that junko sucks. He’s not an emotionally stable person like, at all, and he got manipulated by her throughout the entire story.

[redrose-arrow]

Crowley/Halt/Duncan anon back with more from the last AU

- I imagine that Crowley and Duncan figure out that they like Halt over time. Maybe one of them realizes first, and then the other, but I wouldn't know in which order-- and eventually, they both just sort of... aggressively flirt. Most of it goes over Halt's head at first, but as soon as he figures out his own feelings towards them, and as soon as he does realize, he just has no clue what to do. His love language is almost exclusively "hey I don't actually hate you, would you like this cool rock I found while going on a walk as a sign of affection because I don't actually know how to say how I feel about you no matter how much I want to"

- Cody cuts off their hair for the first time a few months after leaving Dun Kilty with Halt. At first, it was just for hiding purposes, but then they realize just how much they like short hair and how light their head feels-- at least, after they get after the initial shock of oh god my neck is cold make it stop make it stop

- Halt and Cody eventually admit to what they've done to the Rangers, specifically in Araluen with all those Morgorath-supporting nobles. The Rangers are a bit... disturbed with their methods, and slightly disappointed that they didn't realize who exactly Halt and Cody were beforehand, but are otherwise nonplussed by the revelation. Better that these--apparently very deadly--individuals are on their side, not Morgorath's.

- Still, neither of them talk about their past in Clonmel. The most they really say is "There was a lot of family drama before we met Pritchard." Pritchard isn't much more helpful in that department, saying just about the same thing, only with the addition that Halt and Cody were still with their family for about six months before officially joining him.

- Meeting Duncan for the first time was very awkward for both Halt and Cody, because they both knew him when Halt was like, what, twelve? Because up until they were a certain age, Duncan would regularly visit Dun Kilty and Halt, Ferris, and Cody would regularly visit Araluen. But Duncan doesn't seem to remember them at all, which is understandable-- Halt now has a beard and shoulder-length hair (possibly longer), while Cody regularly gets misread as a guy and is nothing like the frail, dainty, proper princess he had known before.

- Duncan is oblivious to the shared panicked glances between Halt and Cody as they both try not to say anything that might make Duncan realize just who he's talking to.

- Because. You know. Halt kind of killed Ferris and Duncan probably thinks Halt murdered Cody, too.

- So when Duncan and Crowley ask Halt out, probably some time after the war, Halt feels the need to come clean. He sits them both down, and instead of starting with something sensible like "Please don't freak out, but I'm the old Crown Prince of Clonmel", he starts with "This might sound a bit fucked, but I kind of murdered my twin brother, and also you--Duncan--and I used to know each other when we were kids."

- Did I mention that Halt is very bad with words?

- After that... alarming start to the conversation, Halt manages to explain to a very concerned and slightly scared Crowley and Duncan about everything that happened. Yes, he's the Crown Prince; Yes, he killed Ferris; No, it wasn't out of malice, it was out of self-defense; No, he didn't kill his little sibling; Why are you asking where they are if they're not dead, you've literally talked to them several times since we got here; You do realize that Cody is my younger sibling still, right? You-- you do realize that I have never once lied about Cody and I being related?

- Duncan looks out the window of his office out into the court yard to see Cody fencing with a random guard who's on break. He looks at Halt. Back at Cody again. Then finally, back at Halt.

- "You are terrible at explaining things. Remind me to never make you a diplomat."

your honor i adore them

goodnight to everyone but especially this anon

AJDKAJKJAS idk if this was on purpose or accidental but Duncan telling Halt that "remind me to never make you a diplomat" is a GREAT parallel with Crowley telling Halt that it's "just as well he didn't go into the diplomatic service. we'd be at war with half a dozen countries by now if he was on the loose" idk i just think that's really funny

uhhhh i know there's a lot of Halt / Crowley / Duncan shipping here, which i am super invested in, and will get to that in a sec, BUT i'm so soft for Halt and Cody??? like,,,, he'll lie about everything and everyone EXCEPT the fact that Cody and he are related because he loves them so much he cannot even fathom thinking about them not being related. underrated duo that i am HERE for

anYHOW back to my favourite not-canon throuple,,,,, i think it's super cute that Crowley and Duncan would be in bed together talking and being like,,,, y'know,,,, Halt is kinda cute too,,,,, and Halt Does. Not. Realise.

finally i would like to say that Cody is very right in thinking that oh gosh it's cold with short hair because that's exactly what i was thinking appr. 60% of my first winter with short hair. 10/10 very relatable.

i too adore them

[cowboylikedean]

Hey, I'm the anon from before and first off I really appreciate the time and effort you put into your reply, so thank you!

However, I really don't want to fight feminism! Feminism is great! My sarcastic quip in the beginning was more meant for individual level situations. In fact I realized I did misread your previous post and reblog, and with your reply I was able to understand what you meant with generalizing. So yes, definitely, the class of (cis) men is the oppressor

Further down in the text, I didn't mean women as a generalized group, just individuals. I never wanted to make the point that women were secretly the oppressor! [Though I do think that making fun of penis size is actually body shaming (that can also hurt trans men), though not The One big oppression tool. I just don't think body shaming is good no matter who it's aimed at.]

I don't know if I now would call it oppression what (mostly cis) men do to each other (can't remember if I labeled it as such, if so, I take it back)... Probably better to call it something like toxic masculinity peer pressure, I'm not a sociologist or in gender studies and queer theory.

But one thing I actually remembered was how some (not all!, this is just to add nuance) women uphold patriarchy in a certain way... Like tradwives for example. Or how terves are tooting the feminism horn while oppressing trans and non-binary people just to secure their own standing in patriarchy. They may still be oppressed by men, but they're functionally "above" trans and non-binary folks. Sorry if I didn't explain this well, I just remembered it from reading it in a book from a political scientist (who is a trans woman and writing about that). I also don't know if she mentioned tradwives specifically, can't remember, sorry. But this is not to mean that women are the big baddies.

While I agree that you need to generalize to discuss mechanisms of oppression, I just think that sometimes some nuance is needed (although I'm not putting myself out there any further and claiming this was the case in this exchange, but more generally speaking).

Don't know where this point fits in, but I can still remember the video of the white woman having her dog unleashed, and a Black man who was bird spotting just reminded her if the park rules to keep dogs ON leash. When she threatened to call the cops on him, she knew she was potentially setting him to get killed. (Just adding that generally, white women have this kind of privilege/power over Black men, and this is a racist mechanism)

And I'm definitely not on Depp's side in that whole fiasco! It was horrible how he was able to manipulate the public perception of the trial and Heard...

I appreciate all the time and effort you put into this reply, thank you.

I think the biggest issue here with respect to the nuance you're asking for is recognizing that the cisheteropatriarchy is one system, one force. Because it exists across 3 axes (trans status, sexual orientation, gender), it has historically been broken into 3 systems and forces. Since the late 90's, heterosexism and the patriarchy have been linked in literature and research as the heteropatriarchy.. And since the early-mid 2010's, cissexism has been added and the term has been fully expanded to the cisheteropatriarchy.

The reason why it's so hard to untangle where trans people fit (and also GNC cis people), is because this is One Single force of oppression that has multiple parts and axes working on it.

Another issue in regards to nuance is that just because someone is a part of an oppressed class does not mean they do not have internalized feelings, thoughts, actions, and beliefs about that oppression.... Nor does it mean that we all agree as to what that is. I know several tradwives who identify as a tradwife who also identify as feminists and their hold their identity as a tradwife in accordance with their feminism as a means of personal choice and self exploration, rather than in accordance with their oppression as a means of force and dehumanizing reduction in value and worth. I also know MANY people who see makeup and shaving body hair as upholding oppression, while others see it as personal expression. We're not going to all agree and the rift between 2nd wave and 3rd wave feminism isn't going to disappear for the sake of a conversation on the internet.

All that said, this nuance is why I was so particularly upset at that post, which highlighted specifically cis men. The call for nuance is appropriate as it discusses those oppressed within the structure. Now granted, the OP was made by a trans man (who is only 19), so it is to be assumed these are not straight men, so they are oppressed by the system, highlighting the two axes by which they are privileged while you discuss how the big bad faminists are body shaming (which exists in its own axis of oppression: fatphobia, and is less connected to gender than everyone wants to think) is just... not a way to add nuance to this convo?