#Also about the devil's water being ain't so sweet

[ihatetheinternetandeveryoneonit]

Wyllstarion. This is literally Wyllstarion

[frightesa]

🎶 if you have any on your end for clarice, but also cindy.

send me 🎶 ( music notes ) for 3-5 songs about our muses relationship

i think i accidentally got these songs as an arc in their relationship verses the lyrics coinciding with them specifically just to explain the approach a little. a lot of the song also have better tonal vibe than their lyrics provide. CLARICE

kill of the night by gin wigmore : i'm gonna lure you into the dark my cold desire / to hear the boom, boom, boom of your heart / the danger is i'm dangerous / and i might just tear you apart / oh, ah, oh / i'm gonna catch ya / i'm gonna get ya, get ya this is very silence of the lambs to me. i think clarice is being lured by the darkness and instead of being able to recognize that in herself she's too mission focused. like 'the danger is i'm dangerous' feels very point and hannibal. whereas 'i might just tear you apart' feels more like it's directed toward clarice.

devil is a gentleman by merci raines : he's always got the words to say / just enough, so you don't notice /that you ain't nothing but his prey / ah, ah, ah, aah-ah /sometimes the worst of him have the best disguises / ah, ah, ah, aah-ah / he'll go as far as it takes to stay in hiding / oh, don't you know, don't you know / 'bout the devil? he's a gentleman i think this is the dynamic that they are setting. it's the acknowledgement that while hannibal is dangerous, there is a mutual respect there. i think it's that mental discord of 'this person has done terrible things' and 'we seem to have an understanding'

blood // water by grandson : look me in my eyes / tell me everything's not fine / oh, the people ain't happy / and the river has run dry / you thought you could go free / but the system is done for / if you listen real closely / there's a knock at your front door / we'll never get free lamb to the slaughter / what you gon' do when there's blood in the water? first off there's something so satisfying with the reference to lamb to the slaughter. i think it is just chef kiss for them. but i think that this is the open discussion that this event ( meeting him ) has set her on an entirely new path. and while she might want to return to 'normal' the definition has changed for her. it feels like almost a taunt for me.

angry too by lola blanc : i buried the unseemly urges / deep down in the ground with the roots / but it's all coming up to the surface / maybe it's getting ready to bloom / and i don't wanna be a monster in the making / i don't wanna be more bitter than sweet / i don't know how to be just standing by blankly / not getting angry i think that this is the recognition from clarice's end that there has to be a different way for her to exist. that she needs a closer proximity to danger to feel alive. while she doesn't want to enact the violence there's that want - that urge - that she is acknowledging.

masochism tango by tom lehrer : let our love be a flame, not an ember / say it's me that you want to dismember / blacken my eye / set fire to my tie / as we dance to the masochism tango / at your command / before you here i stand for me this is europe right, like she doesn't want to be consumed or dismembered, but it's the want for it. it the dance they do when they are in each other's company. it's that understanding like coming to fruition. it's like a gravity she's being pulled into and a part she is stepping into.

CINDY

ghosting by mother mother : hey, would it be so bad if i stayed / i'm just a ghost out of his grave / and i can't make love in my grave / i won't put white into your hair / i won't make noises in your stairs / i will be kind and i'll be sweet / if you stop staring straight through me this is coming out of the traumatic experience at camp nightwing and looking for comfort. she's so tired of people staring through her and hannibal doesn't do that. she's promising not to be an annoyance to him if the company remains.

this is me trying by taylor swift : i've been having a hard time adjusting / i had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting & they told me all of my cages were mental / so i got wasted like all my potential & i just wanted you to know / that this is me trying / at least i'm trying / and it's hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound / it's hard to be anywhere these days i think that this is the honestly garnered between them. and the knowledge that cindy is able to feel a little bit that hannibal expects more than what she's giving.

the good in me by jon bellion : like a knife in the woods / yeah, you hunt down the good in me / one temptation sparked this / now i can feel the darkness / it's my own fault but you had this planned / all of me, you take now, like criminals and shakedowns / yeah, you make me forget who i am (one, two, three) / your heart's a vine that i've bled trying to climb / yeah, you're making a ruin of me this is hope. i think that their friendship, or the facade of it, would inspire hope in cindy. and spark joy in their friendship. i think she believes that everything he's done for her has been life saving when it actually conceals his own motives.

lies by the black belles : someday i'm gonna be happy / i don't know when just now / lies / you're breaking my heart / you think you're such a smart boy / and i'll believe what you say / who do you think you are boy / to leave me out this way this is betrayal. the facade unraveling and how much it hurts cindy. like i think it just would unearth something in her and not in the good way.

playing god by paramore : if god's the game that you're playing / well, we must get more acquainted / because it has to be so lonely / to be the only one who's holy / it's just my humble opinion / but it's one that i believe in / you don't deserve a point of view / if the only thing you see is you this is righteous anger. the recognition that not only was hannibal the harmful thing at camp nightwing but has been placating her for years. i think it's a sort of anger that would inspire action for cindy. i'm not sure she would be successful but this feels to me like the antihero monologuing beofre the end of the movie.

[daintykeith]

DESERVING

Title: Deserving

Summary: A one-shot love story featuring Arthur Morgan and John Marston in which John struggles to understand Arthur's new behavior around camp.

Word count: 1.6k+

Notes: mild cursing | feedback is appreciated!!!

Tags: @southernlynxx @rdr-secret-cupid

I’m your secret cupid, @southernlynxx !!! I'm so sorry this took forever dear; the past few weeks have been totally insane and out of my hands to control. I chose your first wish and decided to mix it up with some good reassurance (happy) angst which i found fitting for the theme; 

John trying to understand & accept Arthur’s affection around camp! I hope you enjoy it, happy late Saint Valentine’s day!!!

P.D → I was inspired by this photo I took in my game! Totally worth it.

John never thought it would be like this.

At first, it was awkward—maybe bizarre. But that was just the beginning.

As the sun rose from the West, John walked out of his tent like a dead man; dark bags under his eyes and scratching his side, yawning without shame. Thirty minutes of sleep—or less—felt great. Just what he needed, right? Taking guarding rounds at night for the past few weeks to avoid him. Yes, that man. The one who had become his greatest relief and headache at the same time, Arthur Fucking Morgan.

While John agonized, Arthur was at his best. Refreshed, clean, and glowing like a damn pearl who had found its way to the surface, gleaming under the Sun—too shiny for John’s liking. Thankfully, his tormenting and seductive eyes were nowhere to be found yet. But, why was John avoiding him as if he was a pest? It’s complicated, you’ll understand later on.

John walked to the empty soup cauldron and grabbed the coffee pot next to it and a metallic cup nearby. He sighed as he sipped from the coffee he had just poured himself; feeling the smoke coming off his mouth like locomotor steam. He needed it to be functional, it had become his coal and main source of energy.

He stood next to the fire in the common area, waiting for Dutch to give a speech he had asked everyone the night before to hear. Why the hell would he give a speech so early in the morning when even the rooster hadn’t yet given his call to the sky? He wondered, staring his distorted reflection in the coffee in his hand.

It was a quiet morning, everyone who woke up, quickly waved at John and left to grab a coffee, or so it remained until the feared one appeared. He walked graciously without effort, his shirt had some buttons undone that showed his chest and collarbone, looking like a damn angel. He rinsed his face and John saw with detail from afar how every drop of water dripped down his face and neck. It made him thirsty. That man was no other than Arthur Morgan.

Arthur ran his hand through his hair and over his nape. To John, that man could’ve been the Devil himself walking on Earth, an angel who had fallen from Heaven for his ego. He was too full of himself, afly in making everyone blush in a moment’s notice. Before John could realize, Arthur was staring at the red in his cheeks and grinned, satisfied from his reaction.

“Damn you!” John whispered, looking anywhere but at him as he burned his tongue and narrowed his eyes.

Arthur, with his smug grin, quickly grabbed his coffee and sat next to the fire a few feet away from John, who didn’t know Arthur was just mesmerized with his foolishness, head over heels for a stubborn and reckless but loveable little piece of shit—a nickname truthful to his nature. A true rascal! Against his better judgement and all prognostics, an all-standing jinx befell upon him like rain in a desert.

He admired John from the ground, his strong jawline, the scars on his cheek that ran to his nose and the corner of his lips. However, his foul mouth didn’t catch up with his beauty—quick witted and far too fast for his train of thought that always got him in trouble. Arthur drank from his coffee and looked at John in the eye who, this time, didn’t turn their gaze away but held it dearly.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” John asked with his raspy voice, trying to sound uninterested but contradicted by the widened pupils in his curious eyes.

A walking contradiction, Arthur thought with a grin. “Wanna’ know?” He took a long swig of his cup and let it sit in his lap.

John hesitated for a moment.  "No." Nevermind.

The blue-greened eye man cleaned the corner of his mouth with his thumb and licked it and slightly blushed. "What a shame."

John couldn't stop staring Arthur, something had lit in the corner of his mind.

"Anyway, what does Dutch want this early in the morning?"

"Don't know, don't care."  Arthur rolled his eyes and looked at his feet.

John gulped, bothered by Arthur's sudden behavior to which he decided to blind the eye on.

"He's been acting... strange," John mutters, making a long pause.

He was right. Dutch had changed; it was the gleam in the eye he had always told them to not have—those of an ambition far too great, burned by being too close to the Sun. Everybody had noticed but kept quiet, making a silent agreement in not talking about the matter. John had a hunch of what it meant, but also kept quiet.

"No more than you; what's going on with ya'? Did the wolves eat the brain whole? You've been avoiding me!"

Did he notice? He knew he wasn't hiding the fact so well, but admitting it hurt his pride.

"The hell you sayin'?! No, I haven't!"

Arthur smiled in response, as if it was the answer he was expecting.

"Why?"

John narrowed his eyes.

"Why what?"

"You know."

He stood up, spilt the coffee left in his cup into the fire and slowly walked to John. His body swung with temptation, a fierce cat-walk with a daring look in his eyes.  John felt like his feet were stuck to the ground, unable to take just one step aside to avoid the storm walking straight to him. His metallic eyes were bewitched by  Arthur's; he sure knew how to charm him every damn time.

He didn't stop until he towered over John, trapping him with his voluptuous figure.

"Why are you so shy?" He whispered to John in the ear with a burning breath that heated and tinted his cheeks in deep red.

John forgot how to breath. He was so close that he felt their bodies touch and their minds collide.

"I, uh..."

"you what, dear?"

How shameless could the bastard be? Didn't he have any limit?

"I don't wanna talk here; let's go somewhere else." John imposed in a soft mutter.

"Alright."

They went to John's tent taking hands. They were cramped in such a small place, where their breathing burned eachother's skin and only a dim light shined through the entrance. A long pause arrived when the world had seemed to stop rotating and time had gone somewhere else, making everything but them oblivious and unimportant.

"I don't understand why are you doing this," John said with long sigh, finally giving in.

John rested his head in Arthur's shoulder, feeling his body finally relax after the tense moment.

"I thought we were a secret, ya' know?" he muttered, "a thing only you and I knew. Our thing."

Arthur combed his fingers through John's black hair, softly caressing the back of his head and humming in agreement.

"I don't seem to understand why you smile at me every time you see me or why you, like, want to touch me every time you can—or when you look at me like that."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No! I, ugh... I don't know."

Arthur chuckled. “I get it.”

John sighed in relief. Did it mean he would stop acting weird? I mean, Arthur would always be a bastard no matter how you look at it, but he called it an improvement.

“I'm sorry” he continued ”, but there's no stopping me in loving you.”

What. In. The. World. That's not what he meant!

“Arthur, you're not listening—”

“Every damn word, of course I do...”

“Then why are you doing this?!” John buried his head deeper, frustrated. “I'm an asshole, okay, I get it. But that's not a reason for you to do this to me.” Enchanting me, making me drunk with every word you whisper. Damn you.

“John, I—”

“I don't deserve it.”

A long silence between them came to be except for the more recurrent footsteps outdoors, stumping into the grass and dirt. John held tighter to Arthur, who stepped back only to take a closer look to his face, eye to eye.

“Listen closely, you little piece of shit.”

John flinched to the sudden grab by his collar, wanting to look away but Arthur only held his gaze closer.

"There's no denying that you are an idiot— but my idiot. I'm a fool myself, an old dirty bastard that's only getting older with every day that goes by, thinking that I'm the happiest man alive every damn time I look at you and even though I know I don't deserve it either. I ain't a good man, John. And you fucking know it." He grabbed his collar stronger as if it was a threat, with that dead look in his eyes that had seen the deeds their owner had done.

After Arthur realized what he did, he let John go.

“If it was about deserving, John, you would've never been mine."

He gently took John's hand laid it in his face, placing a gentle kiss in the back of his hand.

John couldn't speak a word. His mind had gone blank except for the beautiful image of Arthur lovingly playing with his fingers, laying kisses in the tip of his fingers, and the words that uttered in the corners of his mind, echoing Arthur's whispers.

"I'm sorry, John. But I beg you, let this damn fool love you and show it to you."

John placed his hand in Arthur's earlobe. As if both had read their minds, they looked into each other's eyes before leaning into a soft, gentle kiss.

Their kisses never tasted sweet. It was rough, with sweat and blood that was so common in there lives. Neither of them deserved the sweet taste of paradise, but they were making one of their own.

“You make me feel like a fool, Arthur.”

“You too.”

John wished this moment lasted forever. He wanted to enjoy the moment when their souls had gotten closer, but a voice outside called.

“Arthur, John, Where are you?!” Dutch called, irritated of waiting.

They separated and held each other's gaze for a moment.

“We should go,” John whispered tenderly as he rolled he eyes.

“Let's go,” Arthur chuckled.

Arthur gently held John's hand before heading out of the tent, ready for the world.

[sammy-gvf]

We get along (for the most part)

Chapter 2 

OC X Lee Bodecker

———————————-

Warnings- a little angst and cursing. 

Plot- The local rebel badass girl and Lee Bodecker have had run ins, lets see how it goes, shall we?

Word count : 2,705

MINORS DNI! THIS STORY WILL EVENTUALLY GET 18+. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. I DO NOT FEEL LIKE GETTING IN TROUBLE FOR YOU BEING STUPID. THANKS. 

 CHAPTER ONE IS PINNED ON MY PROFILE!

Sunday morning.

Slowly, I woke from my slumber hoping that I slept through church. Unfortunately, the sound of footsteps coming towards my door tells me differently. Knocking at the door, I hear a quiet voice come through the crack of my door.

“Maggy, are you up? Mamas goin have a fit if you aint up for church.” 

That's my brother John, he is always there to wake me up on sundays. He enjoys going to church. I’m not really into it, i usually try to go back to sleep but my parents barely ever let me sleep through church, small town equals gossip. No matter what you do, someone is always talking about you. Sat the wrong way? Gossiped about. Sneezed during church? Gossiped about. Literally anything you do is talked about among the town residents. I was the talk of the town when I was in high school, everyone knew I was sneakin around with Arvin. No one  liked it obviously, bein called every name in the book. I didn't care clearly, it didn't bother me or Arvin. 

I groan and slowly get out of bed, stretching and looking out of my window. It's a beautiful sunny day in Knockemstiff, I never thought I would ever describe this run down town like that, it's quite beautiful here though. Open fields for miles, I could see why no one would want to leave. I mean in old age, you could just do anything with your land and live off it. 

Getting up, I feel my feet hit the cold wood floor of my room. Everyday, I hope I don't get a splinter from the floor so I wear slippers throughout the house. I head to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My hair is disheveled and almost out of the bun that I had it in the night before, my eyebrows are out of place and the bags underneath my eyes are prominent. I sigh and splash some cold water on my warm face. I grab my toothbrush and go for it, spitting out the toothpaste and flashing my teeth in the mirror to make sure I didn't miss a spot. 

I heard my parents and brother moving around pretty quickly so I looked at the clock near my bed. It's 9:30 am, church starts in about 20 minutes and it takes 10 to get there. Quickly, I put my hair in a low bun, slapped on some powder and a plain lip color, a rose color to compliment my fair skin. Hopping around, I grab a plain flowy blue dress that goes up to about the middle of my thigh and a pair of white keds, quick and simple. 

I step out of my room and grab my clutch so I have something to hold while in church, I usually can't keep my hands still. I shut the door behind me and head out to the living room to see everyone quickly eating some toast off their plates in the kitchen, I hop over and steal a piece of toast and bacon off Johns plate and then we are out the door. 

Hopping in my dads truck, the ride there is quiet. We don't talk much in my family, only at dinner once and a while and sometimes when my father drinks. Which is only when he is done work on Fridays. I make sure I'm out of the house on fridays, he never stops talking when he is drinking. My parents and I have never been that close really, kind of an unspoken family thing. Mother stays quiet and does her motherly duties as us women are expected to do once we pop out a few puppies. I refuse to be like that. 

The ride to church is scenic,open fields for miles and so many animals to look at. I enjoy the breeze coming through my hair but I just wish it was from me driving my car out somewhere I have never been. Like maybe California, it's probably beautiful. I have never been to a beach, as a matter of fact I've never been out of Knockemstiff before. I envy everyone who leaves this place and never comes back. As soon as I can get out of here, I will. I swear on everything I love. 

The car stops and I get out, my feet hitting the dirt road below me. My keds are gonna need a cleaning after this. Stepping around the car, I separate from my family and hop around the back of the church to smoke a quick cig before I go through the church doors to act like I'm holy for 2 hours. 

Stepping to the left side of the church, I put my clutch on a bush and grabbed a cigarette from the pack stuffed in my bag. Quickly I light it and suck on it as quickly as I possibly can to just get a moment to myself. Looking out into the distance, I always forget that the cemetery is this close to the church. Graves for as far as the eyes can see. That distracted me to the point where I forgot how quick I was smoking and ended up inhaling too much smoke at one time, leading me to cough quite loud. I throw the cigarette on the floor below my foot and crush it quickly. 

I hear an oh so familiar voice in the distance as I finish my coughing fit. 

“ Ms. Lane, what a pleasure to see you on this fine sunday.” He says, walking towards me with his fingers hooked around the belt loops of his pants.

Same uniform everyday, never fails.

“Say, what are you doin here behind the church all by your lonesome? “ Lee says as he stands next to me, I can smell the tobacco and mint on him the same as I did last night. I look over at Lee with an exhausted look on my face from the coughing fit I just had.

Lee looks down at the ground and a grin forms on his face, sneaky bastard never misses a beat. 

“Ms.Lane-” Lee begins to say and I stop him

“Please, for the love of christ call me Maggy. I am not 16 anymore, Lee.” You say as you start to walk past him. He grabs your arm and stops you. 

“Maggy Lane, just know I know about your little reputation.” Lee says as he still has you by the arm, kind of digging his nails into your soft skin as you try to pull away a bit.

“As a matter of fact, I was there when you began your little shenanigans. Be careful of how you talk to your sheriff, little lady.” You look at him in disgust as he tries to intimidate you. 

“ Also, I told you those cigarettes was bad news, you're lucky I don't stop on over and talk to your pop about your little habit.” Lee says with a smirk on his face. You finally wiggle out of his grip, your arm dropping to your side with crescent shaped marks on your arm. You rub the spots where Lee's fingers were just digging into your upper arm.

Looking up at him, he tips his hat at you and starts to walk away. You spit on the ground near his feet and he turns around on his feet, quick. 

“ I hope you know you're a prick, Bodecker.” You spit out at him. 

Immediately, you are backed up against the wood boards of the church, both of Lee's arms on either side of your head. Your heart is racing and your breath is hitching. You're frozen. 

“Listen to me, you little bitch.” Lee inches closer to your face, your noses almost touching. You turn your head to the side hoping that he won't really notice but he grabs your face and holds it so you are looking him directly in the eyes.

“Your little mouth will get you in trouble, especially with me.” Your breath hitches as he gets closer. Your heart could explode. You were terrified. 

“ Lee, church is starting. We better get in there before we miss anything” A voice in the distance yells. 

 Instantly, Lee lets you go and strides back to the unknown voice. 

You stand there with a shocked look on your face, as if you had just seen the devil up close. You were frozen in your current position but as soon as people started going in the building you sank to your feet and sat there for a minute breathing heavily. You fixed yourself up and stood outside the door of the old church, taking a deep breath before going in and finding your seat next to your family. 

 Church dragged on and on, I felt like I was going to fall asleep. A screaming preacher, so many people in such a small space. Half way through, I got up to go to the bathroom and caught Lee staring at me and he gave me a small smirk. Creep.

Stepping into the bathroom, I look at my face in the mirror. It's still slightly red from where Lee had his disgusting hand around my chin. I pushed on the spot and it felt like it was going to bruise. 

“ Fuck” I whispered to myself as I turned my head side to side to look at the red around my lips and on my chin. This is for sure going to bruise. 

I splash some water on my face to refresh myself and then I step out of the bathroom to bump into something in front of me. 

“Shit, I am so sorry” You say as you back up into the oak door and look at the person in front of you. 

“ Oh, no worries hun.” the woman in front of you says. 

You look at her quickly as you step aside, sticking out your hand and you say “I don't think I have met you before, I’m Maggy Lane.” 

She sticks out her hand and shakes yours firmly, she is a very pretty woman with short brown curly hair. 

Thin and very well put together, can't be more than 25 years old. 

“ It’s very nice to meet you sweetheart, I’m Ruth Har- I mean Bodecker.” She says smiling as she pulls her hand back from the handshake and puts it back on her clutch bag. 

“You the sheriff's wife?” you say as you cock your head to the side questioningly. 

“Yes, I am.” she smiles, “ We've been married now for about a year, a very fine man he is.” She says as she steps aside to talk to you for a minute before she steps into the bathroom.

You were shocked, Lee actually was married? He was such an asshole, you didn't think anyone would want him. As you had said the previous night, you would tell his wife if he had called you another pet name but she looks so sweet. He doesn't deserve her. You had just said that assumin he even had a woman at home. 

“ Thats nice, say you ain't from around here, are ya?” You say in a little southern drawl, she aint from these parts. You can tell by the way she says certain words. 

“ No darlin, i'm from Tennessee.” she smiled “Met Lee out there while I was workin in a bar.” she blushed a bit.

“ Huh, well look at that.” you say as you cross your arms and lean against the doorframe of the bathroom. “ Lee does get out of town then.”

She chuckles and you look at the time, church is going to be over soon.

“ Well, it was very nice meeting you, Mrs.Bodecker.” You say as you turn your back and start walking towards the stairs to go back to the chapel area. 

“ You too, darlin.” She says waving at you. 

“ See you around” You say as you head back up the stairs. 

---------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2 already? I’m crankin shit out lol 

Hope yous like it so far! Dont forget to leave opinons/replys and as always dont forget to like/reblog!

tag list : @ladyfallonavenger

@please-buckme

@youcancallmeishita

@unsentlettersandmore

@angelicbabydolll

@local-spacegirl

@do-not-pray-for-me

@not-another-fangirl

@nerdy-depressed

@buckysdolls

[madd-devil]

Succubus

Succubus part 2

@nevereverlandboys

You smiled as you drank your glass of wine, hearing Satan and Lilith bickering together was always the funniest thing in the whole Hells. The Devil and the Queen of the Sex Demons had a long story of fighting with each other. You turned your head to see Felix, sitting and looking bored on the bloody red sofa, on the other side of the room.

You decided to walk up to ask him about his current mood. Felix have seemed to be a bit distant since his arrival in Hells and you thought it was because it was pretty warm (of course, it was Hells, with fire and volcanoes).

"Hey hot stuff." You greeted as you sat down next to him.

"Hey." He replied, not looking at you.

"What's up with you lately? We haven't had a proper night together since like 5 or 6 days ago." You asked rudely, being annoyed by his behaviour. "You ain't telling me anything."

"What do you want me to tell you? Each time I try to speak to you, you go on and on about your ambitions and the fact you want to be... to be more powerful." Felix snapped angrily. "You're not even listening to me anyway."

You growled and showed him your pointy teeth (you had decided to keep your full demon appearance, to blend in with the people here). He huffed and went away, probably leaving to your shared room. You wanted to follow him but Satan appeared on the scene, and you stared at him as he started his weekly show. It started by a few funny shows with dead comedians then Satan delivers a speech and singers appears. It was a weekly thing and you liked it.

"Good evening my fellow demons!" Satan said, hands raised.

Everyone cheered and clapped their hands and paws together. You did so, following the others.

"I have a great announcement to make!"

Everyone stopped talking and some whispered, wondering what it was about. You glanced over at Lilith, who waved at you friendly but she clearly knew something. You frowned and turned your attention back to the King of Hell.

"As you all know, I have ruled Hells since the beginning of times, in all fairness and dignity." He started, his red eyes glowing a bit. "But my time has come to an end. I am quite... tired of doing that. I am happy to announce that I will retire in the next few weeks."

Everyone was dead silent. Even you. Your mouth opened slightly, you were very surprised by that. Every demon was. Satan smirked, in a devilishly way. There was more of it.

"I will of course need a replacement... The one who will win the Hell Tournament will become... me."

A grin slowly marked your face and your tail shook. You were excited, it was the perfect opportunity. You didn't know why but deep inside, you always knew you were meant for greatness. It was your destiny to become the new ruler of Hells. You couldn't skip an event like this!

The winner would win the throne, and have the dark powers of Hells. Becoming a ruler meant power and you loved that, the power. Being a succubus, you were already powerful, being able to charm anyone and anything. No one could resist you. You often won the Hell Tournament and all demons knew how strong you were. It would be a piece of cake.

You strolled happily into the room, decorated with the finest furniture from the Renaissance era in France. Felix was laying on the bed but you knew he was not sleeping. You crawled into the bed, and went to kiss him. The boy turned his head and you growled.

"What again?"

"You smell like my mom." Felix confessed, confusing you.

"What do you mean?"

"You smell alcohol. I don't like that scent." The blond haired boy said as he snuggled into the covers.

"Oh..." You whispered.

You hold him close to you, putting one of your wings over him in a protective manner. You started to rub his back softly. You loved Felix, more than you would ever admit to yourself but you were also a demon, which meant you loved power too. Of course, if you were meant to choose, you would choose power.

The next morning, when you awoke, Felix was at the balcony, observing the red sky of Hells. You stood up lazily, marched towards him and hugged him from behind, kissing his bareback tenderly.

"Hello handsome." You purred.

He didn't reply and sighed. He turned his head to stare at you, sadness in his eyes. You frowned.

"What is it?" You asked.

"You talk in your sleep." He said.

"And? Get to the point Felix." You hissed, eating the remaining of a apple.

"You said you would exchange me for any kind of power."

You stopped eating and glanced at Felix, your cheeks flushing a bit. You were kinda embarrassed. You may have said that yes and it was maybe true: in fact you didn't know which you preferred. Love made you stronger, you loved Felix it was a fact but wasn't the true power real power? Satan never loved anyone and he was so powerful. You cared a lot about power, and it never brought you prejudices.

"It was just a dream. Don't think too much about it." You advised him, looking for clothes. "Do you want to visit the modern world with me?" You asked, trying to make him think of something else.

The tall boy huffed and crossed his arms, his grey cold eyes piercing into you. He looked rather nice with only pants on. You licked your lips, thinking of all those nights when you two were tangled in the bed, glued onto each other and taking and making pleasure from behind with each other.

"Why would you want to bring me to some bars you go? You always go to flirt with everyone anyway."

"I was just trying to be nice!" You told him, glaring at him.

Felix kind of jolted and looked away. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down and pinched your nose. You turned to look at him.

"Listen... I promise I won't do anything that kind. I won't go to a pub or bar I swear."

"How can I know you will maintain your promise?" Felix questioned, an eye brow raised.

"I know those last few days have been... rough for you and that I was not the loveliest person but I promise, this time nothing bad will happen." You said sincerely. "Tell you what: you will be the one to choose the era, the country and the city where we will be going!" You examined excitedly. "What do you say of that?"

You hoped this peace offering would work. You were very sincere about it and your feelings toward the lean boy. He looked excited too, a small smile creeping on his face. He looked like a young puppy. It was very cute. You chuckled, shaking your head.

You cheered loudly as you drove the car down the path in California. It was the 1960's and you loved that area. Felix was on the passenger's seat, looking at the landscape. Everything was dry and the weather was quite hot, and you didn't exactly know why Felix chose those years but you rolled with it.

You stopped the car near the beach, a few people were there but you didn't care. You exited the red car, Felix next to you and took your bag. You smiled at the sweet action.

"What a gentleman." You purred, putting on your sunglasses. "We should find a lonely place."

"You're right."

Both of you walked up on the beach, ignoring the glances people were throwing at you because of your very short outfits. You rolled your eyes as some mothers whispered to their young ones about her. Eventually, the two of you walked in front of some men and of course, those dirty animals started whistling at you and throwing gross insults at you. You went to go charm them but Felix was far quicker: he jumped in front of them and punched a man with a scruff. The man took a few steps backwards and then fell on his back.

"If any of you useless piece of shit dares to look at my girl, I fucking swear I will have great pleasure playing with your intestines." Felix threatened.

You were a bit shocked of this reaction but you were somewhat glad Felix stepped in. It was hot and it was a proof he liked you right? Maybe love was not that meaningful. The tall boy draped one of his arm around your shoulder, his hand bloody. You leant into his touch.

"My hero." You chuckled, glancing behind. "Damn you didn't miss."

"No one touch what belongs to me."

A smirk appeared on your face. Felix was being more and more hellish and it was very nice. You loved it. Some minutes later, you two have found a nice spot. It was between rocks, so no one could spy on you two. Felix was already undressing, eager to test the water. He must miss the sea. You however, didn't really like it.

"Are you ready?" Felix asked, starting to walk towards the sea.

"Hum..."

"What is it?"

"I don't know how to swim." You revealed, looking down at your fingers.

Felix's face made you understand he was very surprised by this fact about you. It was true that he didn't know much about you and your past, just the general information.

"Are you kidding?" When he saw you weren't laughing, his mouth opened. "That can't be true."

"Listen, in Hells, we don't have water: only lava."

"Some demons surf on the lava and swim in it." Felix replied.

"Yes but... if you want to go in the water, then go." You said as you sat down on the towel you brought. "It's going to be alright. Have fun, it's your day after all!" You gave him a reassuring smile.

He nodded back at you and ran towards the water, jumping in the waves and diving in. A genuine smile appeared on your face as you watched him diving in and playing around. You heard him laugh and it made you happy. One hour later, he showed up again, as the sun was setting.

You welcomed him with a towel. He then sat down next to you, glancing at you from time to time.

"What?" You asked him a bit annoyed with his staring.

"Why don't you want to swim? Each time you are near water, except when you take your bath or go to the thermal area in Hells, you are nervous. Too nervous. You're scared of water, aren't you? Did something happen?"

You were silent and closed your eyes tightly. You had sworn to never tell this story to anyone, except to your superiors, so all the Princes of Hell, Lilith, the other big demons and Satan itself. They all knew the story and why you were so afraid of water. You sighed and tried to not look at Felix's handsome features.

"You want to know the truth?" You asked with a pathetic voice.

"Yes." He answered.

You rubbed your face to calm you down and collect yourself.

"Alright. So, it's not a good story, it has a pretty bad ending. I was... I was driving a long time ago on the roads of Greece, back in 2006. I was o a vacation there with a guy I liked but he was an asshole so that day, I dumped him and left him all alone to go back to the country we lived." You started, with a low chuckle. "So... I was angry and I was driving pretty fast. The roads in Greece, especially in mountains, are kinda hard to drive in. It was raining too. My car... I don't know exactly what happened. Suddenly I was in the water, I couldn't get out of my car."

You stopped to take a shaky breath. You tried to not cry.

"That's how I died. I drowned."

Some tears rolled down on your cheeks. Your sunglasses was inside your back, so the blond haired boy could clearly see that you were sobbing. You didn't know what to do, you felt pathetic in front of Felix. You were a strong and powerful demon.

You felt arms pulling you toward his chest. He was not completely dried off yet but it was a nice feeling.

"Stop crying. You are a beautiful and strong demon. No such charming creature cries like a pathetic woman." Felix told you, wiping your tears away with his fingers.

Then, he kissed you on the lips. It was a soft kiss. You craved for more. Felix's hands ran up and down your back. Your tight tank top was becoming a huge obstacle, so he started to unbutton it. You weren't wearing anything underneath, which was a huge no no for that time area but usually you didn't care. The blond haired boy's lips left your mouth to travel down your neck, reaching your breasts.

You moaned as he started to lick your nipples, and you felt the warmth bubbling in your stomach. Your womanhood started to feel so warm and hot, you needed Felix to touch you everywhere and for once, you didn't even want to be the dominant one. After all, it was his day. He could decide to do whatever he wanted.

Your short and panty quickly disappeared as Felix started to thrust into you. You let go of small moans as the lean boy was rougher and rougher than usual. Your fingers scratched deeply into his back and you bite down his neck, leaving your signature into his skin.

You were soon against a rock, the blond haired boy tugging at your hair. You truly wished to make more sounds, to yell in ecstasy as Felix ravishe you but you couldn't or else you will attract dirty little pigs and you hated when people you haven't invite watch what you were doing with your mortal lover.

Felix came into your womanhood and he gasped against your mouth, his lips brushing yours. Your hands went to his hair, petting it softly. He kissed you passionately, whispering "I love you"'s and sweet things to you.

The Hell Tournament would start today and damn were you excited. Felix was still sleeping in your bed, tangled in the sheets. You combed your hair quickly and made it into some braids. Next you needed your armour. You stood in front of your mirror, snapping your fingers until you get the nicest one and a good color sheet. You chose one with dark colours of course, with some details in silver and gold. You grinned and glanced at Felix, the sleepy head, who had just awoken.

He yawned and stretched, observing you with curious eyes. You gave him a silly twirl.

"You look nice in it." He told you.

"Of course. I look nice in everything." You huffed. "I won't probably be back before five or six hours."

Feliz raised an eyebrow at that and rolled back in bed.

"I see. I guess it's quicker because demons are that powerful ugh?"

"Yeah, weak ones are eliminated fast enough. Big demons fight until the last one is standing and this time... it won't be jewel, cups or weapons." You declared, ambition in your voice as you glanced at your reflection in the mirror. "It will be for the crown of Hells."

Felix stayes silent and you guessed he went back to sleep. He was exhausted after all the training he had with you (he asked you to teach him some hell techniques of fighting), a steamy shower and a very... unforgettable night.

You exited your home and flew to the arena. A lot of demons were there, more than usual. You didn't care: as soon as you arrived, all heads turned to you. They were all afraid of you. Lilith was there too, wearing a beautiful gold and red dress. She was speaking to some queens and kings from the mortal realm. You thought she was speaking to Marie Antoinette.

Satan appeared, everyone cheered for him as he bowed ridiculously.

"Salutations to you all, my fellow demons. As you all know, now is your chance to win the ultimate prize of the Hells Tournament!"

You cheered after him, your voice louder than any demon in the small room. You loved to fight and were a excellent fighter. Your love for power was growing harder and harder, you could almost grab the crown Satan had in his claws.

"Let the game begins!" Satan yelled, flames engulfing his body, disappearing from the small stage.

You roared as you cut a demon's arm with your sword then twirled on yourself to block someone's attack. You hit her in the guts, took her long red hair and yanked at it so far it almost fell out of her skull.

You let out a maniac laugh as you used your powers like never. You were pretty sure Lilith was cheering for you, you could hear her voice from above and Satan was probably watching you too. You smirked as you advanced to the last of the fighters: some Princes of Hells, some higher demons and a strange looking demon, wearing a bloody red and silver armour, using a dagger, crossbow and a pole weapon.

You didn't know that demon but you didn't care: you will won that crown and those hellish powers. You "killed" Erzon and Flamin, the twins Princes of Hell and you attacked the remaining demon standing. That strange fellow dodged mainly all your attacks, but what was strange was that it was fighting like you, with your own techniques. Finally, you tackled him against the hot ground of the arena, pressing your blade down its neck.

"Who the fuck are you?" You hissed as you succeeded to remove his great helm.

You froze upon the sight below you. It was not a demon. It was Felix. Everything was so silent.

"What the?!"

The blond haired boy punched you in the face and you fell down. You shook your head and rolled over as he attacked you. Then you stood up quickly, took him by his left arm to twist it and you heard a horrible sound, a cracking sound. Felix screamed in pain and looked at you with a painful look. You had broken his arm. Then you punched him with your sword and let him fall to the floor.

You had won. But you weren't happy. You were enraged.

You entered into the room angrily and glared at Felix who was sitting on the sofa. His arm was bandaged with a cast and his scar was reopened.

"How could you?!" You screamed at him.

"Do what?" Felix asked calmly.

"You know what I fucking mean! Oh my fucking god Felix! You could have been killed!"

"You nearly did kill me!" He protested, standing up. "I was right, Satan and Lilith were right!"

"Wait what?" You toned out in a dumb way.

Felix rolled his eyes and rubbed his face. He sat down again and stared at you.

"They came to speak to me multiple times." He revealed. "They told me about your strange behaviours, that the only way to know if you were really in love with me was to know if you would let me win the Tournament."

"What?! That's insane!" You exclaimed as you paced in the room.

"I got my answer." He said calmly and simply.

"You know what? Yeah! Yeah I fucking love power, more than you because with the power, at least I am never let down by anyone in my freaking life!"

You stormed out of the room, angry tears running down your face. You hide in a corner in Hells, near a pit of lava for a few days, the crown still on your head. You took it and observed it from every angle possible. You would become the greatest queen of Hells. No one will stop you. Your reign will start as soon as Satan will make it official and he will then crown you in front of every living creature in Hells.

Being queen of Hells was wonderful: you had all the greatest and darkest powers, was almighty and ruled over a gigantic kingdom. You loved it. Your room had improved and you and Felix... Well, you were like blocked. He had betrayed you after all. He didn't trust you enough. To be honest, you didn't really care: you had sex with other creatures and demons and mortals. Sometimes Felix would appear and try to talk to you but you didn't listen. You had important things to deal with now that you were queen.

But one night, when you came back to your room, Felix was no where to be seen. He had left, you didn't know how. Maybe Lilith helped him ran away. You didn't care. At all. He must have run back like a dog to that nasty Peter Pan.

Some weeks passed, months passed, even years. Power ran down your veins, you had grown wiser and smarter... and also kinder. Power changed you in a way.

Sometimes, you would cry at night. Cry because you missed your old life, missed when you thought ruling over an empire was easy. You were so foolish back then. You were surrounded by idiots too. Satan and Lilith went on a trip to Hawaii with the Princes of Hells.

You sighed as you played with your hair, reading some papers, and reports, who died, when, where how and what was their judgement. You couldn't rest so you have decided to work. Suddenly, you threw your writing and inked feather to the wall, as well as your crown which fell heavily on the ground. You let out a scream. You had enough. You needed to leave, to find yourself once again. Maybe you should place a regent? That sounded like a great idea. You had chosen Satan for that and left a quick note to him, taking the crown with you. It was known that whoever's get the crown would get the throne and you just needed a small vacation.

You hide in the shadows, travelling to the biggest portal in Hells. You wondered where you could go. You decided somewhere nice, where no one knew you. With a flip of your hand, the heavy and long mirror showed you a small town called Storybrook, a small city hidden by magic, where everyone had their memories whipped by the Evil Queen. A perfect place to hide. You jumped into the portal and you landed in a forest.

Looking around, you mentally noted the three dark trees around a small destroyed well. It was by this way you would go back home. Changing your clothes and hiding the crown in your bag, you decided to go to town. You entered the local dinner, ordering a sweet hot drink and some crepes. The waitress, whose name you learnt was Ruby, gave them to you with a smile and talked to you for a bit, since there were just you, some old men huddled in a corner and the apparently mayor of the town.

"What is your name? I never seen you around here before." Ruby asked.

"I am (Y/N)... (Y/N) Bond."

Ruby chuckled at your surname and you cracked a smile. You had to admit that you liked the character of James Bond.

"Well Miss Bond, welcome to Storybook." Ruby said with a warm smile.

[artificialqueens]

ain't no big deal, it's innocent (bengela with a side of jivy) - trashqueens

a/n: i kissed a girl au for that killer lipsync, i would also like to add that this fic doesn’t reflect my opinions on the characters mentioned.

Dela was your typical, run-off-the-mill sweet high school girl. She was smart but not too smart, she was well-liked, she was in six different clubs in Rupaul’s High School. She was head of the student welfare group and had a football captain for a boyfriend, making them the power couple in school, which only served to boost her popularity. As the terminally delightful bubble of happiness, her laughter and enthusiasm was always infectious. She never failed to make anyone smile. There was no way anyone could resist her charm.

Shangela was just your typical grade A cold bitch. No, seriously. It made sense, since she was the head cheerleader, and unlike Dela, her popularity was built on fear as opposed to kindness. She was the kind of girl who, if she smiled in just the right way, could easily send even the seniors running in the opposite direction. She was often blunt and upfront, never bothering to talk behind someone’s back if she could just say it to their face. In some ways, her I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude was almost admirable, and most people either envied or hated her. Or both.

It seemed unlikely that two girls with such distinctive differences could ever be friends. True enough, Dela and Shangela rarely ever crossed paths. Dela was often too busy going for student leader meetings or drama class, and Shangela spent all her time on the field making freshmen cheerleaders cry.

So when Dela entered her first dance class that year, and saw Shangela in the studio, she was, well, not quite apprehensive, but curious at least. She knew the rumours surrounding Shangela, of course - she’s a bitch and a real slut too sometimes, I heard she stole some girl’s boyfriend and blew him in the back alley last year - but nonetheless, never having really interacted with her, she didn’t want to make assumptions. She prided herself on being fair and congenial. It couldn’t hurt to try making a new friend, right?

She set her bag down by the side and made her way into the studio, already dressed in her nude leotard. Shangela was on her knees in front of the mirror doing stretches. Dela watched as she bent over backwards at the waist, hands landing gracefully on the floor to form a perfect bridge. Her eyes were closed, lips slightly parted as she breathed evenly.

Dela approached her, leaning against the warm-up bars. “That’s pretty impressive,” she began.

Shangela’s eyes opened, and she straightened up before turning to look at Dela, lips quirked in what could’ve been a smile, but probably wasn’t. She didn’t respond immediately, and it took Dela a few moments to realised she wasn’t going to get a reply. She coughed awkwardly.

“Um. So, anyway, I’m -”

“Girl, please, I know who you are.” Shangela cut in with a roll of her eyes, standing up. “Dela Creme, RuPaul’s poster girl, whatever whatever. And you know me as the bitch.”

She blinked. “More like, the cheerleader, so I didn’t really expect to see you here.”

Shangela easily forced her legs into a 180 degrees split and said, “I’m a professional. I heard y’all was hiring.”

Dela was surprised, but said nothing. She didn’t think Shangela was the kind to actually do anything outside of cheerleading, but clearly she didn’t play into that stereotype. It was noticeable in the way she moved, too, her body amazingly fluid, and as she stretched in that split Dela could see her lean and muscular thighs.

The instructor came in shortly after, and they got started on their dance choreography. Throughout the lesson, she couldn’t help but sneak a glance at the girl beside her, watching her precise and purposeful movements, always in time with the beat, perfectly in sync. Shangela was focused in everything that she did, that in-it-to-win-it attitude apparently evident in dance, too, and not just cheerleading. It was almost oddly mesmerising, and Dela found most of her attention on Shangela rather than the class itself. She hadn’t even realised that practice was over until the instructor dismissed them.

It had been a long day for her. She was tired, that was all, she thought while trying to rationalise her lack of focus during today’s practice. She started on her cooling-down exercises as people started to file out. The other dancers often left as soon as they could, but she always liked staying a little later behind, to get some rare peace and quiet.

Spreading her legs slightly, she slowly bent down to touch her toes. The burn in her thighs felt good, she was practically bent over halfways with her palms flat on the floor. When she got back up, she saw movement in the mirror, and whipped around to find Shangela halfway out the door, staring at her. There was no one else around.

“What?” She asked, suddenly self-conscious.

Shangela just smirked and left.

***

What people often didn’t know about Dela was that the exterior mask she put on hid a vastly different person on the inside. She’d always had to pretend to be someone else to be liked - and while it was her own decision, she did get tired of the whole shtick sometimes. She sometimes fantasized about saying fuck it and dropping everything she’d worked so hard for, but she knew she never would. There was nothing else for her but this life, and there was too much at stake. So she continued being the teachers’ pet, turning up for all her classes and club meetings, dating the perfect guy. And she told herself that she was fine.

***

“I’m not saying that I believe the rumours, but you should probably be on your guard, either way.”

Dela always had lunch with her best friend Jinkx, and her girlfriend Ivy, in the cafeteria. Benjamin used to join them all the time when he first started seeing Dela, but he now usually hung out with his football mates.

She thought about it while sipping on her orange juice. “She wasn’t that bad, she seemed kind of nice, actually? I mean, in a room containing Thorgy and Milk, she was at the very least bearable.”

Ivy giggled. “Well, when you put it that way…”

Jinkx shook her head, unconvinced. “You can’t always trust people who ‘seem nice’. Look what happened with Rolaskatox.”

Jinkx had run for prom queen last year, with Roxxxy, Alaska and Detox as the three other nominees. The notorious clique tried to ‘befriend’ Jinkx with the full intention of kicking her out eventually, but she snatched the crown nonetheless. She never held any grudges, water off a duck’s back and all that, though Dela knew that she was still wary sometimes.

“Alaska isn’t that bad,” Dela tried to defend.

“She’s the lesser of three evils,” Ivy agreed.

“You know what I mean. Just be careful. Maybe she’ll try to steal Benjamin from you - though we’d probably have to thank her for that.”

Dela sighed. She knew that they didn’t approve of him. Sure, he was always busy at football practice, and he sometimes stared at other girls, and he wasn’t always the most sensitive, but he loved her. And relationship was about compromise, wasn’t it?

“He’s not that bad, guys.”

“Who’s not that bad?” Benjamin appeared at their table, squeezing in next to Dela. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her cheek. From across the table, she caught Ivy and Jinkx sharing a look.

“No one,” Dela smiled sweetly at him.

“You’re actually spending time with Dela today? Not eating with your friends?” Jinkx’s lips were curled upwards in false cheer.

“Came down to see my favourite lesbians,” he chortled like it was the funniest joke in the world. “Come on, give a guy a show, can I watch y’all make out?”

Jinkx looked like she was about to snap at him, but Ivy clasped a hand around her fist and whispered softly into her ear. Dela slapped Ben lightly on his shoulder. “Stop it,” she chided.

Ben just laughed again. “I’m kidding, babe. Anyway, just wanted to tell you that I’ll be at practice tonight. Big game coming up and all.”

Dela frowned. “But we had plans for tonight, you promised you’d accompany me to Adore’s birthday party. I told you weeks ago -”

“Man, I’m sorry, I just can’t, okay? I know you understand. I’ll see you tomorrow, baby, love you.” He pressed another kiss against the corner of her lips and left. Jinkx held up a black-nailed middle finger to his retreating back.

“Honestly, Dela, he’s such a dick, why do you still -”

“Jinkxy,” Dela cut her off, pressing her fingers to her temple and massaging. “Please. I don’t wanna talk about it. We’re fine.”

Jinkx must have sensed her discomfort, and shut up. Ivy laced her fingers through Jinkx’s, the simple gesture instantly calming her down, and Jinkx turned to her girlfriend, love and adoration evident in her eyes. She leaned in for a small kiss, still smiling.

Dela watched the encounter with a slight pang of jealousy. She’d only ever been like that with Benjamin in their honeymoon phase, but their spark never lasted more than a few months. They’d been dating for almost two years, and she really still did enjoy his company, but she wasn’t sure if he was still that into her. She was completely okay with being the one who invested more into the relationship, but watching Jinkx and Ivy, so loving even years into their relationship, made her long for more.

A sudden increase in chatter volume made Dela turn around. The cheerleaders swarmed in as a whole bunch, with Shangela at the front, still clad in her white Halleloo Squad uniform. Her blond hair was tied up in a high ponytail with a white scrunchie, and she looked more like she’d just stepped out of the shower, rather than spent 3 hours sweating in the middle of the hot field.

“Jeez, the speak of the devil syndrome is real today,” Jinkx commented. Dela laughed.

She watched as the group sauntered over to the footballers’ table, most of them shamelessly flirting with the guys. Courtney was halfway draped over Andrew, tilting her head and giggling at everything he said. And Shangela -

Dela tried not to watch, she didn’t want to be the easily jealous or possessive type. But Shangela was seated right next to Benjamin, eyeing him purposefully, that lopsided grin on her face once more. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger, saying something that Dela couldn’t catch from a distance, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Jinkx must’ve caught her looking, because she said, “Dela, she’s doing it on purpose and you know it.”

Dela turned to her friend, whose eyebrows were furrowed, eyes full of concern. She swallowed and looked back down at her plate, picking up her apple and taking a bite even though she wasn’t hungry. “You don’t know that. She could just be being friendly.”

“I think Dela knows what she’s doing,” Ivy said lightly, and looked at Jinkx meaningfully. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Jinkx nodded and gathered her belongings.

Dela got up, but turned around one last time. What she wasn’t expecting was for Shangela to be unabashedly staring right back, and grinning. She winked.

Confused and flushing uncontrollably, Dela let herself be dragged away by her friends.

***

Turns out, Dela also shared another class with Shangela in Calculus, due to the timetable switch. She didn’t have any of her closer friends with her, so she was sitting alone in the second row when Shangela walked in. That in itself was a bit of surprise, given that A) Shangela was almost always late, and B) she usually came in a box. (It was a long story.)

Shangela picked the seat next to Dela, which was even more of a surprise. And her first words were, “You know, your guy’s kinda cute and all, but I don’t really know what you see in him. Kinda boring, huh?”

Startled, Dela took a moment to recover. She didn’t know what Shangela’s motives were. Did she want Benjamin for herself? Or was she sowing discord for no reason? She replied, “I’m sorry, that was kind of rude? He’s a great boyfriend.”

Shangela just snorted. “If you say so, cutie.”

Dela’s insides twisted uncomfortably. Shangela was really good at making her riled up for no reason, in a way no one had been able to before. Something about her just… got under Dela’s skin. It was unnerving.

She spent the rest of the lesson in silence, concentrating hard on the questions on her worksheet, trying to keep up with the pace. She forced herself not to notice Shangela’s messy scrawl of words across the paper, the smell of her cherry chapstick, or the way her collarbones jutted out when she leaned forward in her seat.

Needless to say, she kind of failed.

When the bell rang, Dela gathered up her things quickly, desperate for some fresh air outside the classroom. She had been cooped up too long, her mind a whirlwind of strange thoughts. She was the first one out of the classroom, and as she speed-walked along the corridors to the next class, she pretended not to hear Shangela’s voice calling out her name from behind her.

***

dela: jinkxy you there?

jinkx: what’s up darlin’

dela: oh uhm

dela: i don’t know… shangela’s been acting weird and it’s all a little confusing

jinkx: i mean i doubt she’s ever acted normal but

jinkx: is this about ben?

dela: umm… maybe? probably?

jinkx: you should talk to him

jinkx: and then probably also talk to her

jinkx: and then you can talk to me and i’ll tell you that you deserve better :-)

dela: awww you sweetheart

dela: but ok I’ll do that

dela: love you <3

jinkx: <3

***

Dela wasn’t always this popular. She was a bit of an outcast back in 5th grade, when rumours started spreading about her and Jinkx. They were just really good friends, but people thought it was more than that, and, well - 5th graders were insensitive and mean. Really mean.

It’s not like Dela didn’t already know that Jinkx was gay. She never had a problem with it, Jinkx was her best friend and she’d always be a hundred percent supportive. But Dela knew that she herself was straight, that she couldn’t not be straight, and it’d be weird for her to like like another girl. The thought of people calling her a dyke or a lesbo was downright frightening, and so she’d kept any strange or unnatural feelings she’d ever had to herself. She wanted to be a good girl, she wanted to grow up and be a successful woman with a loving husband and three kids and she wanted her family to be proud of her.

So she avoided the mean girls at all costs, throwing all her attention into her work and achievements in various fields. By the end of her sophomore year, she’d somehow also managed to catch the eye of the most popular boy, and that was when she started dating Ben. The girls no longer called her names, and she was more than happy to leave the past in the past. And if she ever felt like there was something missing in her life, a subconscious thought that caused mild anxiety to ripple through her, well, she was great at suppressing it.

***

“So… Do you know Shangela well or something?”

Dela tried to play her question as casual as possible, and predictably, Ben didn’t pick up the cue.

“Sort of. The Halleloo Squad’s always practicing while we’re playing footie on the field, so. She’s a popular one, isn’t she?”

“I saw her eyeing you, the other day in the cafeteria.” Dela shrugged as Ben turned to look at her. “She was flirting, and, I dunno, you seemed to be having a lot of fun too.”

He groaned. “Aw, come on, babe, don’t pull that card. You know I hate that whole jealousy bullshit. She’s just cool, okay? Christ, I swear you fucking do this to every girl I so much as make eye contact with.”

Resentment burned inside of Dela, but she shut up and dropped the topic.

***

Over the course of the next few weeks, Dela couldn’t help but notice Shangela everywhere. She saw her in the corridors while walking to her next class, talking and flirting shamelessly with Benjamin whenever he had a break between football matches, and on one particular occasion, smoking a cigarette alone behind the main building, a common hiding spot. She never seemed to be able to avoid the other girl - her aura was always present, to the point where Dela just always instinctively knew whenever she was around. It was driving her a little crazy, but the day she caught Shangela with Ben in an empty classroom was the final straw.

Dela was just looking for a quiet place to get her mind off things and finish her art project. Her favourite classroom, which was always empty after the main lessons, just happened to be occupied at that time. She’d heard voices from inside, and was about to go elsewhere to try her luck, when she recognised Shangela’s laughter. Followed by Ben’s voice.

She crept around the doorway, and there they were - Shangela sitting on the teacher’s desk, Ben with his arms on either side of her and pressing his lips firmly against hers, Shangela’s legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

Dela couldn’t tear her eyes away from the scene. She stared in shock, hand clapped over her mouth, until she couldn’t take it anymore and fled. She ran in the opposite direction as fast as she could, until she couldn’t breathe, until she was kneeling on the floor in an abandoned corner gasping for air.

She left for home earlier than usual, and stayed in bed the rest of the night, unable to get the mental images out of her head. The way Shangela’s fingernails were pressed into the back of his neck, her closed eyes with those long, long eyelashes, the way her lips interlocked with his.

She tried and tried and tried, but she couldn’t cry. She wasn’t even upset. Not even the slightest bit of anger at Ben cheating on her.

All she knew was that it all felt wrong.

***

dela: you’re a cunt and i’m breaking up with you.

[you have blocked benjamin putnam.]

***

Dela walked into the girls’ locker room the next day at 6, just as the cheerleaders were done showering after practice. She caught the tail-end of Alaska’s ‘byeeeeee’ as she left, and then there was silence. She hadn’t seen Shangela come out, so Dela knew she’d still be in there, and hopefully alone, so they’d get to talk.

She sat herself down at the benches outside the shower room and waited, nervously wringing her hands together. She needed to, as Jinkx so nicely worded it, ‘confront a bitch and punch her in the face’. Even after a sleepless night of her mind running endlessly, she still felt nothing but confusion, and she knew she had business to sort out with Shangela.

Soon enough, Shangela stepped out into the locker room, wearing a black and white polka dotted dress, wet hair dripping down her back. She raised an eyebrow when she saw Dela.

“You lookin’ for me, Miss Congeniality?”

Dela stood up and approached her, trying her hardest to quell the pounding in her chest. “Fuck you,” she said shakily. “Stop pretending. I know what you’re doing. You don’t fool me with your innocent act, I saw you with Ben yesterday.”

Shangela didn’t even bat an eyelid at that, just smirked, drying her hair with her towel while still looking Dela in the eye. “You enjoy the show? To be fair, he did come onto me first, I wasn’t even interested, so he can take credit. I must say though, still tasted the cherry flavour on him, don’t know if it was from you or some other girl -”

“Shut up!” Dela’s voice quavered, and her hands were trembling slightly. Heat pooled inside of her, but she wouldn’t let herself back down. “You’re a bitch, I know what they say about you, that you’re a slut with no morals.”

If anything, Shangela’s grinned widened. “I bet there’s one rumour you haven’t heard yet.” She stepped forward, inching closer to Dela, who started backing away until she was pressed against a wall. Dela hated how cowardly she felt, how powerless she was, confronting another girl over another guy when she didn’t even have the guts to admit how she really felt. She was lost and confused and utterly cornered by Shangela, who was merely five inches away by then.

Shangela leaned in and said softly, “Don’t you know what this is really about?”

Dela didn’t know what happened or who initiated it, but suddenly warm lips were on hers and she was kissing Shangela like her life depended on it. She was all soft skin and kissable red lips, and all of sudden everything clicked and made sense and for the first time in a long while, Dela felt like she was doing something right.

Shangela’s tongue brushed against her lips, teasing her gently and she couldn’t help but grab the back of her head and pull her impossibly closer, wanting more but not getting enough. She felt Shangela’s hands grabbing her ass moaned into her mouth, lifting her own legs to wrap them around Shangela’s waist. It felt so undeniably good, threading her fingers through the other girl’s hair and pulling, hearing Shangela make those soft little noises of pleasure, and Dela felt a pleasant shiver run down her spine. Kissing girls was a million times better than kissing boys, why hadn’t she ever realised? How could she have been so blind?

The loud slam of a locker door from somewhere in the distance snapped them both back to reality, and they practically jumped apart. Shangela looked positively ruined, hair wet and messy and eyes heavy with lust. Dela could only imagine how much worse she looked. Then her eyes widened in shock as it finally hit her - she’d kissed a girl, and actually liked it.

“Fuck,” she said, “Fuck, I’m gay.”

Shangela stared at her for one long moment, until she finally burst out in a fit of uncharacteristic giggles. Dela, still startled silly, joined in shortly after, until they were both laughing uncontrollably and gasping for air.

“I’m sorry,” Shangela choked, still wheezing, “You let a girl seduce you for weeks, then make out with her in the locker room like you’ve been doing it your whole life, and that’s the first thing you say?”

“I’m not thinking straight,” Dela grinned, leaning her head back against the wall and one hand braced on her stomach. “You know, you did actually flirt with Ben a lot, and I got confused about which side the jealousy ran, so that’s your fault.”

“Maybe not the best way to get your attention, but it worked, so.” Shangela, still slightly breathless but much calmer, smirked. “Wanna get out of here?”

“Hell yes.”

***

jinkx: so how’d it go

dela: i punched her

jinkx: wait what?????

dela: in the mouth

dela: with my mouth

jinkx: OMG WHAT DETAILS NOW

jinkx: hello???

dela: she’s kind of busy at the moment. -s

dela: or at least, her hands are. -s

jinkx: omg you fuckers

dela: that’s the idea. -s

[habits-white-rabbit]

I posted 23,389 times in 2021

291 posts created (1%)

23098 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 79.4 posts.

I added 7,308 tags in 2021

#hazy - 1669 posts

#oc and rp stuff - 1019 posts

#:o - 877 posts

#lol aesthetic - 800 posts

#for the nerd lmao - 585 posts

#fuck yeah mcr - 560 posts

#lol stim - 485 posts

#c l e a n - 440 posts

#reality breaks - 440 posts

#fma au - 433 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#this is how i felt when i found an old russell tringham rp twitter and tried to go to the formspring link out of curiosity only to find that

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town

There's a church on every street corner. We have to make up for all the sin in the 80s and 90s.

The only cemetery in town has no fence around it. Them on the inside can't get out and those on the outside aren't in any hurry to get in.

Crows. Crows. Crows everywhere. Black menaces getting into your trash and stealing your holiness with their Satanic gazes.

Steer clear of Sacred Heart. Their holy water was tainted by The Devil. The things wearing robes and rosaries aren't priests.

The Jesus statue has no hands. I wonder why.

Sometimes you hear a train coming through town. Rattling of the freight cars on trusses and blaring of the horn. The tracks were ripped up years ago.

The train stations around town have been abandoned for decades. They can't be demolished on account of being historical landmarks. So then why do you see faces in their broken windows on some days?

There's a girl in all black who wanders the town. Some days it's a little dress and stockings. Some days it's a peacoat and jeans. Some days it's a riding cloak and umbrella. She stops at the gas station every Saturday and purchases a can of peach tea. She never says anything to anyone and leaves. 

The hospital at night is ghostly. The empty parking lot and flickering streetlights don't help. Sometimes the shadows remain longer than they're supposed to.

There's a woman who drives a hearse. No one knows her name. She is feared and respected. God help you if you get on her bad side.

The corn knows what you've done. You can hear it whispering in the fall right before the harvest. If you attempt to apprehend it, it'll cut you.

There's an old Delaware Native man who sells dreamcatchers, palo santo, sage, and jewelry from a tent during fair week. No one knows his name or how old he is. He's never aged in all the time he's been there. If you ask him about the clay flutes on display, he'll charge you ten dollars with a smile and wink. You have no idea what you're bringing home, do you?

It's a religious experience to be amongst the rides and the lights and the noise from open to close. It's a feeling of fulfillment that sits in your soul long into the night after you've left. You can hardly remember it though. Only bits and pieces of blur and color come to you when you try to recall. Who was that girl with the spiked collar and clown paint? 

There's a rundown maintenance shed on the edge of a left-to-rot golf course. Graffiti on the walls welcome you to The Devil's Toy Box. They also proclaim the return of someone unknown with the date 5-25-18.

Your friend found a rabbit corpse on the train tracks. There was no sign of injury on it. It was gone within twenty minutes. Just vanished into thin air. The thing in the trees has been appeased.

The bluejays scream in the woods. They're nowhere to be heard in town but their feathers are found everywhere.

Deer.

The snow is almost suffocating in the winter. It brings an unsettling and hungry aura. Something ancient awakens in December and doesn't sleep again until March. 

In the summer, you can smell someone barbecuing. Wood smoke and Sweet Baby Ray's fill the air. You never know where it's coming from.

The bowling alley is always deserted. You and your friends are always the only ones in there.

Nuns aren't real, he said. You ain't see shit, he said. Then who was that woman at the bottom of the hill? 

There are elderly people you see once in passing and then never see again. You don't know if they're still alive or if they've been taken. Only the corn knows and it's certainly not telling its secrets.

Hotel California by The Eagles plays gently from down the street. You can't pinpoint which house it's coming from.

Why are you still here? You can leave any time you'd like. So then why have you stayed?

81 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 22:13:27 GMT

#4

So. Friend in Discord did this. Auh?

Credit to @skittelli, who photoshopped these.

(Reblog or fuck off, Meadow didn't spend two hours each photoshopping these to get a like and nothing else uwu)

84 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 03:51:23 GMT

#3

why are you unlovable? ( based on things my exes told me )

you're a ghost

you have fallen from everything you've loved, they still love you, but you are so unrecognizable these days they don't even know what to do. let the sun warm you again, it's not all bad.

107 notes • Posted 2021-02-24 02:40:11 GMT

#2

See the full post

139 notes • Posted 2021-03-30 02:33:18 GMT

#1

Behold, my religious trauma playlist

Crucified // Army of Lovers

Take Me to Church // Hozier

Saint Bernard // Lincoln

Arsonist's Lullabye // Hozier

Foreigner's God // Hozier

Our Lady of Sorrows // My Chemical Romance

House of Wolves // My Chemical Romance

Vampires Will Never Hurt You // My Chemical Romance

Call Me By Your Name // Lil Nas X

Saint Veronika // Billy Talent

Lent // Autoheart

The Cult of Dionysus // The Orion Experience

Church // Fall Out Boy

God Syndrome // Madame Macabre

Oh Ana // Mother Mother

Southern Gothic // Tyminski

Hellfire // Jonathan Young

Soldier, Poet, King // The Oh Hellos

Bedroom Hymns // Florence + The Machine

From Eden // Hozier

Traumacore Blogs Do Not Reblog

146 notes • Posted 2021-09-28 12:11:52 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →