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michiieewrites · 4 years ago

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Dabi - So big, so small, so tearfuly

A/N: This fic is inspired by an ask that @league-of-villians-headcanons received a week or so ago. THIS IS THE ASK I REFER TO. Anyways, after looking up that song, I cried like a little baby and thus, this story was born. But holy damn! I did NOT expect for this fic to reach over 3.1k+ words. Enjoy, my loves!

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Well, it happened. Waiting in the waiting room with his quirk-cancelling handcuffs. Sitting on Dabi’s left side is Mr. Compress, also with those special ‘bracelets’ made for villains. Even here at the police station the tall showman is still wearing his mask and top hat. They’re both a little torn up, though. Just like all of them, to be honest.

Who knows how that crusty trash rat they call a leader is looking now. Maybe he’s just as banged up as Spinner. The scaly man was currently in the interrogation room with two officers. Most of their members were dragged away by different officers. Toga is still waiting with them. For multiple safety precautions they had restrained her like Hannibal Lector, including the muzzle. Still, that didn’t stop the girl from trying to break free from them.

Didn’t matter, though. Dabi knows that the gig is up. The heroes had all whooped their asses in this last fight. Showing the world that the ‘good guys’ would always win in the end. ‘Cause that’s what always happens, right? The bad guys lose and the good guys win. Because they’re the good guys. And Dabi was one of the bad guys.

He had to lose. That’s what bad guys do, they lose the fight. Good guys like his dad, they win. Good guys like his dad give people hope. Good guys like his dad were there to help control the chaos. Good guys like his dad are praised by the public for protecting them from bad guys like himself. Good guys like his dad always strife for perfection. Good guys like his dad would destroy their own families to save the public people. Good guys like his dad would do anything to keep the public people safe. Good guys, just like his dad.

So that’s what Dabi’s dad did. He protected the public from harm. He strived for protection, he destroyed his own family. Even if it meant nearly killing his eldest son for a second time. All because his dad is a good guy, right?

‘Should’ve burned that shitbag alive when I had the chance,’ Dabi thought to himself. ‘Instead of burning my own damn self. Just burn that fucker to a crisp.’

But no amount of ‘should have’s’ were gonna change the current situation.

Dabi tried to go up against his old man, the great flame hero Endeavor and got burned. Not that it would matter anyway. He himself did a pretty good job of that in the past. By letting his emotions get the better of him. Trying to impress Enji so he would leave his youngest brother alone. So his little brother would have a chance of a somewhat normal childhood. So that maybe, his father would be proud of him for once.

But Dabi couldn’t have been more wrong. Because of his mother’s genes his body wasn’t able to keep up his flames for a long period of time. Not long enough for Enji to matter, anyway.

The moment he pushed young Touya aside, right into the wall was the moment Touya died. His anger and hurt no longer kept under a lid.

Dabi doesn’t remember much from that moment of his past life. He knows the sky of their garden became engulfed by his blue flames. The heat unbearable and scorching away his skin, inch by inch. He looked as his father tried to reach him, only to be pushed back by the sea of blue. There are nights where Dabi can still hear his mother scream for him to stop before he could hurt himself. Echoes of her pleading for her child’s safety.

And yet here he sits, incarcerated and forgotten by his family. Well, not entirely. He had waited for the perfect moment to reveal himself to his past family again, this time as Dabi. He had to wait for years before the timing was right. But the pure look of terror on his old man’s face was worth every single day he had waited.

‘And by then you already had my chest beneath your boot, just like poor little Shouto once was,’ he snickered to himself.

Luckily for him, Shouto was only a couple of feet away from them. For it was to save Shouto that Enji had attacked Dabi. Fighting together, the two Todoroki heroes went up against the flame quirked villain. With his years of experience it was Endeavor who overpowered Dabi. And as he contained him, Dabi had looked up at him and said:

“What a way to welcome back your dead son, father.”

He had seen the way everything clicked in Endeavor’s head. Every little piece of the puzzle fell into it’s place. The weight of his sins intensifying by the second. He knew Shouto was putting the pieces together for himself too. The boy may look dense, but he certainly isn’t stupid.

But before either of them could come to their senses and ask any questions, the fight was over and Dabi was taken away. Only to be kept waiting here in this shithole of a waiting room, guarded by others, heroes and-

“Ma’am, I have to ask you to-“

“No, get out of my way, now!”

Muffled voices sounded from the other side of the door to Dabi’s right. He turned his head, interested in hearing more of the commotion. Multiple hurried footsteps are coming closer.

“Todoroki-san, you are not allowed-“ the officer outside says.

“I don’t care, I need to see him.”

Todoroki-san? He clearly hears, what he assumes is an officer refer to a female voice. But what business would a female Todoroki have at the station?

The door bursts open and a group of five people come flooding in the waiting room. The guards standing around the remaining League of Villains-members put their attention on the newly entered people. All the heads turn in their direction. His fellow villains are also startled by the commotion. Dabi’s world freezes.

He knows these people. Well, four of them, at least. Or used to know, to be precise. They were the ghosts of his past. The people he tried to desperately to forget. The people who once loved him. But why the fuck are they here? Why the fuck would they be here to look at his sorry ass?

A woman, the oldest of the two females, pushes the officer that tries to stop her out of her way. Her pewter grey eyes are overflowing with tears as she rushes over to Dabi’s recoiling form. She throws her arms around him and pulls him tightly against herself. She sinks to her knees and pulls him along down with her. Her chin rests on his shoulder as her cries grow louder by the second.

“It’s you! It’s really you, Touya. Oh my boy, it’s really you!”

Touya. She called him ‘Touya’. His old name rings in his ears. Too shocked to look at the other worried faces of his siblings, his cerulean blue eyes slowly glance over the woman holding him. The woman who has held him so many times before in his past. The woman who carried him for nine whole months with her every second of the day. The woman who blew all his scary nightmares away with a kiss on his head at night when he was a child.. The woman who had mourned for years after her husband told her their first born son had passed away.

His mother Rei is finally holding her son after all these years.

“Wh-what are you do-doing here?” he manages to get out. His breathing becoming rapid and shallow. Hyperventilation setting in as Rei refuses to let go of him.

“Shouto told me, he told me how you fought with him,” she cries, “He told me how you-… how your… he told me you were alive!”

Her tears are slowly wetting his entire shoulder. Her hands tremble as they desperately hold onto his soot covered coat. Her entire body shocking with her sobbing.

Then he finally looks back at the others. The guards are trying to hold back a tall, young man with the same show white hair and pewter grey eyes as their mother. The young man doesn’t budge a single step, a furious look on his face. Behind him a young woman, no younger than a year or two than Dabi himself. Her hair white like melting icebergs with some lava colored tips and her charcoal grey eyes. Scared, but determined she tells the officers that they all have the right to see their brother. He knows they are Fuyumi and Natsuo, the younger sister and brother Enji never bothered to care for.

A familiar mop of half white-half read hair is a little farther behind them. Shouto looks down at the floor and Dabi can’t tell if it’s because he’s angry, or hurt, or ashamed. Hell, it could be all three.

But none of the other people in the room mattered. He tunes out the questions of his comrades, the arguing of his family and the guards, the fast and heavy beating of his own heart. All he can hear now are the strangled cries of his mother.

Softly, so softly only Rei can hear, he asks: “How did he figure it out?”

Sniffing through her words, Rei says: “After they took you away, Shouto confronted your father. He demanded to tell him the truth. Eventually he told him everything; how the fire department didn’t find your body in the ashes of the fire. How he lied to all of us, saying you were too badly burned to see. How he always wondered if your ashes were among those of the garden or if you got away.”

Her grip loosened slightly. She leaned back and took a good look at him. His terrified eyes looking back into her own. He’s terrified that this is all just another nightmare. That the warmth of his mother’s embrace will be ripped away again any second.

Her hand comes up to his face. Gently wiping away one his falling tears. Tears? He doesn’t even realize they are rolling down his cheeks. Despite both their quirks, the feeling of her fingers tracing over his scarred skin are hotter than any of his flames ever felt. He can almost feel the love and sorrow in her touch. A love only a mother can give to her son.

Never in all these years he spent apart from his family would he ever dare dream of seeing her again. Because he knew what happened after his supposed ‘death’. He knew that Rei finally broke over all the neglect and abuse their family had to endure at Enji’s hands. Their family was ripped apart, torn to shreds. Even if they did stitch all those pieces back together, he had accepted the fact that he would never be a part of the Todoroki-family again.

But here they were; the members of his past family he used to love so much. They were standing here in front of him. Demanding they get to see him, Dabi or Touya, that didn’t matter. They were standing up against all these guards and officers just to see him.

His hands try to reach out and hold his mother the way she is holding him. To feel her presence in his hands again. But he’s reminded of the cuffs around his wrists. He tugs at them, trying to break out of them. But these wretched things are keeping his hands locked together. His struggles become more desperate. He just wants to hold Rei.

He whips his head to one of the guards and yells at them. “Get these fucking cuffs off of me!”

“No way, villain,” the guard curtly replies.

“JUST LET ME HOLD MY MOTHER, DAMMNIT!”

Hands cover his own and he looks back at Rei. “Ssh, ssh… It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere,” she gently coos at him.

Slowly, she lifts his hands over her head, so that he can hold her now. His body stiffens once again. This really had to be a dream, right? There was no way in Hell he’s able to hold his mother again. It couldn’t be. As far they all knew, he was dead. Todoroki Touya was dead. Dabi was just another villain. And no one would ever know the secrets he keeps locked in his heart. He knows that giving in now would mean that dream would come to an abrupt end. He didn’t want it to end.

But the look in Rei’s eyes is real and so is the rest of her. Realizing this, he immediately clings onto her. A little clumsy, but he’ll take it for now. Even if it’s just for this moment, all he wants to do is to close his eyes and his mother embracing him back. And so she does.

The air is getting hotter. Heavy footsteps are coming closer. Natsuo’s voice calling out: “What do you think you’re doing here?!”

Both Rei and Dabi are looking to see who Natsuo was talking to. The feeling of a sweet reunion quickly slips away and is replaced by a building rage. But before Dabi can make a move towards Endeavor, who’s stepping into the room, he’s held back. Back by the arms of his mother.

The tension is cold. Rei’s staring daggers at the father of her children. Natsuo moves in front of his younger siblings, also held back by Fuyumi. Shouto stands in front of Enji to block his path. Endeavor, with all his power, dares to give Rei a sympathetic look. He tries to speak before one of the guards cut him off.

“All right, that’s enough! All of you people! Out!” They move closer to the stand off between Enji and Shouto.

“Rei, listen to the guards,” Enji calmly says, “this is out of our hands. They need to handle this from now on. There is nothing we can do-“

“HOW DARE YOU! HE’S OUR SON!” Rei yells back.

Her words hit a nerve. Enji extends his hand towards his wife.

SMACK!

She smacks his hand away. A sharp intake of breath from Fuyumi follows. The scene before her eyes; her mother holding their older brother, shielding him from their father. The fury rising in Rei’s eyes hold a force so strong it scares her. Not even Enji made her feel this scared before.

“Don’t you dare touch our children again!” Rei screams out. “Keep your hands off of Touya! Haven’t you hurt us enough?! Our family is torn to shreds by your hands, Enji! MY CHILDREN TAKEN FROM ME BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID TO ME!”

Shouto carefully tries to calm his mother down. “Mom, please. Try to calm down.”

“No! For too long I’ve let him destroy our family, let him hurt you! He-…. Because of him…. HE MADE US BELIEVE TOUYA WAS DEAD! DEAD! HE TOLD ME WE HAD LOST OUR CHILD!”

She can’t stop. Not anymore. After all these years Rei couldn’t hold back all the pain Enji had caused her. The pain he inflicted on their children. The way his behavior broke her. It had made her hurt her youngest son too. The neglect by his hands had made it impossible for her to see her children properly grow up.

Calmer now, she continues: “Of all the things you have done to us, I don’t know which one is the worst. But I do know one thing. And that’s that you can’t keep me from my children any longer. You will no longer stand in the way of my children’s future.”

The hate she directs to Enji… It was clear to him that she didn’t want him around any of them. Maybe just for now. Maybe forever. In trying to face his past, he accepts this outcome.

His shoulders sag and he turns around to walk out of the door.

“Everyone, you need to get out-“

“I will not leave my son,” Rei interrupts the guard.

They look at her and the young man she’s holding close. They sigh and tell her that only she is allowed to stay here. All the others still need to leave the waiting room. Toga and Mr. Compress will be taken to their interrogation rooms. One guard will stand outside of the door. For now, they respect her wish to be alone with Dabi.

When the door is shut close, they both look at each other. Unsure of what to say next. The loving look Rei gives Dabi makes him feel all different kinds of emotions.

Ashamed, for becoming a villain. Vulnerable, ‘cause he feels like she can see right into his soul. Angry at himself, for not coming to visit her in the mental hospital sooner. Relieved, for only a mother can see past all the shit he’s done in his life and still love him.

“I’m sorry, I guess… For not showing up these past years,” he says as he looks down to the ground.

“Don’t be. I understand,” she says.

Her hands cup his face and pull him up to look at her face. A sad smile decorates her lips. Fresh tears forming in her eyes.

“All that matters right now is that you’re back. I missed you so much, my sweet boy. So much, you can’t even imagine.”

But he could. In his dreams he would see her, with all his siblings. Even Enji would be there, only in Dabi’s dreams he was the loving and kind father every child wants and needs. In his dreams they were a happy family. He has longed for that family for as long as he can remember. He still does. Somewhere deep inside of him there’s a part that wants nothing more than to erase all that has happened and just start all over.

He missed Rei just as much as she missed him.

Throwing his face in the crook of her neck, he lets out a forceful and loud cry. “I-I missed you t-too, mom! I missed all of you! I’m so sorry for everything, mom! Please, believe me!”

Her hands comes up to softly pet his hair. Making reassuring sounds to calm down her crying child. His body now completely on the floor with hers. Gently rocking him back and forth.

“I believe you, I do.”

“Please don’t hate me! Please, I’m so sorry! Mom… please don’t leave…”

“I’m not going anywhere. You may be all grown up now, a handsome and strong man. But you’ll always be my sweet little boy, Touya. I’ll never leave you again.”

Her words are a binding promise. A vow to Dabi, a vow for him to regain the name Todoroki Touya. Filled with love and protection. Never would she hurt her children again, any of them. Rei will fight for her family. Starting with the crying man in her arms.

They stay right there. In this world that felt too big for them, they felt so small. A small space for a mother and son to hold each other close.

She’ll always be there for her family.

Tagged: @reinawritesbnha / @mrsreina @thots4daze / @kzombi3 @aizawascumslut @hipster-merchant-of-death @strawbirb @ravenfeet222

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thesoundofnat · 5 years ago

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I should tell you

Finn/Poe, Rey

Summary: Finn tries to tell Rey that he and Poe are together, but they keep getting interrupted (sometimes by Finn’s own incapability of outright saying it).

A/N: Bitches hear one line in the new Star Wars movie and takes it out of context and bases a whole fic around it. It’s me, I’m bitches. No spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker. This takes place before it. Finn was so much fun to write, I hope you like this!

Words: 2 086

“Rey, I need to tell you something.”

Finn didn’t have time to say a single thing, though, as a blaster was suddenly pointed straight at them and nearly hitting Finn in the shoulder. He ducked, screaming as he did, and Rey pointed her own weapon at the Stormtroopers. Truly not the best time, but Finn had suddenly had a moment of revelation and wanted to bare his whole soul. He didn’t have time for it now.

“Can it wait?” Rey asked, shooting and shooting and oh god would they ever do anything else again but shoot various weapons and run for their lives?

“Sure,” he said, voice higher, hands shaking ever so slightly as he raised his own blaster. Yeah, it could wait. Maybe a lifetime, since Finn found his courage sinking as much as his heart as the Stormtroopers kept coming and coming.

Rey was suddenly running, and would you look at that, Finn was running behind her, both of them shouting as they kept shooting. Sand in his fucking shoe. So much sand on this godforsaken planet. Did anyone even need this much sand?

“Finn!” Rey screamed, and oh, he was kneeling, his leg suddenly in so much pain, and Rey had lost her blaster on the way and was using the force to boomerang the incoming ships into the mountains. Finn didn’t catch the rest, because Poe was there, lifting him up, almost carrying him away, and Finn tried to say his name, tried to say Rey’s name, but it really fucking hurt being shot in the leg and all he could managed was a strangled cry that he would deny later. Not that anyone would hold it against him, but still.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Poe was saying, rambling, almost going into panic mode, and usually Finn would try to calm him down but he was feeling quite panicked himself if he had to be honest.

They entered the ship, Rey behind them, screaming at Chewie to go go go, and they were up, or so Finn assumed because he sort of lost track of things after that.

Later, much later, he woke up feeling groggy but whole. A throbbing thigh but nothing worse. Whatever they had done, it had worked.

“Thank Rey,” Poe said, his fingers around Finn’s, but when Finn looked around Rey wasn’t there.

“What did she do?” he asked, his voice hoarse, throat screaming for water.

Poe shrugged. “She used the force.”

“I need to tell you something.”

This planet was greener and richer in every way, but Finn was a bit sick of slapping bugs from his arms. They were laying low, all of them fixing up ships and making plans and biding their time, but Finn could tell Rey was one second away from hopping into a ship herself and leaving. He found himself watching her, watching Poe, knowing they were probably watching him and each other. War made people reckless once they realized they’d lost enough, and Rey was like wildfire.

But she was also Finn’s friend, and sometimes he just wanted to have a regular conversation.

“The thing you tried to tell me before?” she asked, turning to smile at him, always smiling at him.

“Yes.” He sat down beside her on the fallen branch, his leg almost better than before. “Before we got so rudely interrupted.”

She laughed. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again.”

“Hopefully I won’t get shot this time. Thank you again, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it, really.” She bumped their shoulders together, and Finn could tell she was exhausted.

“When was the last time you slept?”

Visibly caught off guard, Rey fumbled. “Uh-”

“If it’s longer than 20 hours I’m sending you to bed right now.”

“Didn’t you have something to tell me?”

“It can wait.” Maybe he was still biding time.

She leaned forward, elbows resting on her thighs. “Is it bad?”

“No.” Quite the opposite.

“Then tell me so that I can go to bed happy.”

“It’s… well, it’s quite silly. I should’ve just told you ages ago, but now it feels weird since I’ve waited so long.”

Rey didn’t say anything, merely looked at him, face blank, neither pushing or assuming. Finn felt like throwing up anyway.

“Uh, well,” he started, looking away, as far away as he could without turning his back on her. “It’s… You know how I- Or maybe you don’t. Why should you?”

“Know what?” A gentle push now, to steer him in the right direction.

“Right. So. You know Poe?”

“I do know Poe, yes.” Her smile when he turned back to her made him start laughing almost hysterically, and he found he couldn’t stop.

“What?” She was whining now, begging, demanding, laughing, her hand grabbing Finn’s arm and pulling and shaking and slapping, but Finn couldn’t calm down enough to say another word.

“Geez, what did you give him?”

He recognized Poe’s voice, which didn’t make things better whatsoever.

“Nothing!” Rey said, audibly not minding him laughing but too curious to leave him be. “He was trying to tell me something and then started laughing.”

Finn had to stand, turning to face him and doubling over in the process. It wasn’t even fucking funny.

“I think it’s a nervous reaction,” Rey continued and Poe was nodding, grinning, but had Finn been calmer he would’ve seen something akin to understanding behind his eyes.

But Finn had to literally wander away from them before he could calm himself. So much for a normal conversation.

“I didn’t know you were a giggler when you were nervous,” Poe said that evening, and Finn laughed in response, though he had to admit he was all laughed out for a bit. “I mean, you giggle a lot around me, but I thought it was because I was so handsome.”

Finn rolled his eyes, but he let Poe lean his chin on his shoulder. “I didn’t know either, but to be fair I tried to talk about you.”

“You finally gonna tell her?”

“It’s been too long as it is.”

“She’ll just be happy for you, you know. For us.”

“I know but-” Finn cut himself off with a sigh. “I’ve built it up so much now, and each time I try to tell her something goes wrong.”

“You want me to tell her?”

“No. It should come from me.”

Poe hummed, his fingertips skimming the nape of Finn’s neck, making him shiver. “You should just say it. No prelude.”

“I want it to be a conversation.”

“I see.”

“Is that silly?”

“No.” Poe pressed his lips to his neck. “I think it’s endearing.”

“I need to-” Finn stopped in his tracks, remembering Poe’s advice about just saying it, but Rey was already looking at him. An eyebrow raised, so visibly amused.

“Tell me something?”

Finn deflated. “Yes.”

She laughed. “Sit.”

He did, the chair of the Falcon comfy and big and the perfect spot for a conversation. He shouldn’t have been nervous.

But he was. Oh, he was.

“The thing is,” he started. “I’m-”

“Incapable of making conversation?” she said when he didn’t continue, her smile soft. “Go on.”

“I don’t know why it’s so hard.”

“Give me a hint? Maybe I can guess.”

And then something exploded and the whole fight and flight thing resumed. Finn was so tired.

Finn didn’t understand how Rey hadn’t figured it out. He often found himself acting like a total fool around Poe, but he couldn’t stop.

“Don’t go,” he was begging now, holding Poe’s wrist and refusing to let him to get out of bed and leave him cold and alone.

“I have to,” he said, but he didn’t twist his hand out of Finn’s wrist or tickle him into letting go like he could - and oftentimes would - do. Instead he remained sitting, one foot dangling off the bed while the other was tucked beneath him. Half turned away from him, but Finn had his own face partly buried in a pillow so it didn’t matter. He was holding onto Poe’s hand for dear life.

Sort of.

He whined, knowing he’d done similar things in public when Poe had done something he hadn’t liked, mostly leave him, and Rey had to know, she had to know what this meant, but he couldn’t just assume.

Poe was laughing, turning to fully face him now, his free hand on Finn’s back, and Finn hummed contentedly, smiling despite himself when Poe leaned down to kiss him, and Rey had to fucking know if one ounce of attention from Poe made him melt despite their surroundings.

“Do I-” Not love. Too early to talk about love. “Do I enjoy you visibly?”

Poe’s turn to cackle like a maniac now. “What was that?”

“I mean,” Finn tried to explain, feeling himself flush. “Is my… affection for you visible?”

“It is to me.”

“How?”

“In the little ways.”

“Enough for others to see?”

“If they’re looking, though I think it’s clear we don’t hate each other or anything.”

Finn huffed out a laugh. “You’re too pretty to hate.”

“I knew you were just with me for my looks.”

“And because you fly me places.”

“At least I contain multitudes.”

“Oh, many.”

“Talk to her,” Poe said, changing the subject so suddenly that Finn forgot to complain when he slipped his hand out of his grip and stood. “You’re stressing yourself out for nothing.”

Well, he needed a hobby.

He sighed. “I’ll go find her.”

Poe was, unfortunately, getting dressed. “Try practicing your speech on others maybe.”

“You think that will work?”

“Yes.”

So Finn was suddenly on a mission to tell everyone else before he told Rey, because that was the logical solution to this tongue twisting trouble, right?

He’d truly die before telling her, he was calling it.

BB-8 lowkey knew, but Finn wanted to tell it anyway. Just to practice. Just to make sure.

Maybe to stall.

“Hey, buddy,” he said, feeling a twinge of nerves when the droid turned to look at him. “I need to tell you something.”

No prelude, he heard Poe say. Next time, honey, sorry, honey.

“I’m with Poe,” he blurted. “I mean, not right now. He’s not here. I mean.”

He could’ve sworn BB-8 tilted its head to the side.

“I like him. As a man. Wait, what?”

He heard Poe laughing hysterically behind him, having come up to them without Finn hearing. “I’m not sure BB-8 gets what you mean.”

Finn turned to pout at him. “This is hard.”

“It’s not. Just say we’re together.”

“Together.”

“Yes.”

“We’re together.”

“See?” Poe poked his ribs. “It wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Finn shoved him lightly. “I can’t help it.”

Poe wrapped his arms around him, unusually affectionate while in public. Finn didn’t mind. Truly would never mind. Maybe they could stay like this until everyone knew, with Poe’s lips pressed to Finn’s jaw, eyelashes almost tangled.

BB-8 made a sound, and Poe laughed into Finn’s skin. “Yes, buddy. I do like him.”

Another beep.

“Of course you knew. I don’t think I’ve been good at keeping it a secret.”

“I didn’t know,” Finn mumbled. “Not at first.”

“I don’t think I fully knew at first either, to be fair.”

“Looks cozy.”

So used to being subtle, Finn nearly jumped out of Poe’s embrace as they turned to look at Rey, but Poe kept him in place.

“It is,” he said, one hand rubbing Finn’s back, soothing him. “Wanna join?”

“I’m good.” Her voice was normal, but her face softer than Finn had ever seen it. “I don’t like being a third wheel.”

Poe laughed. “That’s fair.”

And just like that, she knew. So simple. So easy and so free of judgement. Finn didn’t know why he’d been terrified.

“Is this what you’ve been trying to tell me?” she asked when Poe finally released him.

Finn deflated. “Yes. It’s been a living nightmare.”

“Why?”

“We kept getting interrupted! And I’m not the best with words, apparently.”

She reached out to squeeze his hand. “It’s okay. I like you anyway.”

“Good, because you’re not getting rid of me.”

“Or me,” Poe said from Rey’s other side, the two of them trapping her in their arms.

She was laughing. “I said I didn’t want to be a third wheel!”

“I’m clearly the third wheel here,” Poe said, and Finn reached across Rey to swat at him. “I don’t mind, though.”

BB-8 beeped, wanting in. Even if Finn had wanted to say no he didn’t have the heart to.

#finnpoe #stormpilot #finnpoe fic #stormpilot fic #star wars fic #mine #nat writes #I should tell you #star wars

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years ago

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Home- Chapter 12 (Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x F!Oc)

A/N: I have tried to upload this chapter, since yesterday, but Tumblr did not cooperate, but now it does. come on!

Also, this is the end of The Last Jedi... enjoy

Words: 2,685

Masterlist:

Chapter 11 / Chapter 13

He has every right in the galaxy, this shouldn't affect me. We’re no longer children so that kiss didn’t matter. We’re adults...

But why did he treat me like this? First he wants to know about my past, then he kisses me and when I’m at the highest level of crisis, I realize that… in reality, that kiss didn’t matter to him, our moment did not change him.

No one can change, can they?

I'm a fool, I shouldn't have thought... No, wait, this was not my fault, he has also played with my mind! He kissed me, no one forced him, maybe he didn't care, but why did he do it? It makes no sense. I'm sick of this whole show, I can't do it anymore.

Among all that we have been through when we were children, adolescents, his change to the dark side, when I ran away… so many years running away from him, from his memory, from the Jedi, from the force, all this. For what? To be a prisoner on the wrong side, being threatened by a grotesque giant who proclaims himself master and lord of everything.

I'm sick of acting like a teenager, I'm sick of myself playing with my thoughts and feelings, I don't know what situation I might be in tomorrow, and all I've done is run away and play lovebirds with Kylo, while everyone else in the resistance is risking their lives to stop it, I think it's time.

I sit on the floor and cross my legs, close my eyes and let go, remembering all the past training.

The force unites with me, but this time is different, I no longer see just light and darkness, I hear the beating of hearts, the noises, the screams, the effort, the fear… pain.

Enough of games.

What are you doing?

My heart flutters uncontrollably as I recognize the voice. His voice.

What do you want? I answer.

Your barriers have fallen.

And what will you do about it?

What are you planning?

Finish this.

What do you mean?

I can't do it anymore, Ben. And I'm sure that you also-

I open my eyes to feel something’s changed.

The door to my room opens and Kylo enters. I get up and face him.

"Your barriers have also fallen,” I say in a whisper, we looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. I get a little closer to him. "I can feel the conflict in you.”

"You can't do anything to change me.”

"Maybe not, that's on you, Ben."

"Stop calling me that! No one understands it, everyone expects something more from me, but no- "

“You’re the one who doesn't understand! You had everything in your favor, you had a future! But you ignored all the warnings, you ignored me and your best idea was to get rid of me!” My breaths are shaky. "Stop throwing tantrums all the time and for once in your life do something. Stop listening to everyone else, listen to yourself, Ben, listen to what I told you, what the fuck do you want?”

"I know what you saw yesterday, I know what you felt," I look away.

"I don't think that matters now. You have every right to do what you want with whoever you want, but I must tell you something,” I am brave. "I won’t take part of your child games, I will not be part of your army or Snoke's, I don’t want to be part of any of this. A lot of people are trying to come up with a plan to destroy you and… and I'm not going to stop them.”

He abruptly looks away and talks.

“It's not a good time,” He says, I look at him confused. I see to where he’s looking at, but I don’t understand what’s going on. His expression changes and turns to me.

"It's Rey,” when I think he's going to leave, Kylo does the opposite, He sits on my bed and talks to her.

I sit next to him and listen only to his part.

"If this is a lie, it’s a good way to cut a serious topic.”

“It’s not a lie," He says, glaring at me. "She is with me," He replies to Rey, then I can see how his cheeks flush and he gets nervous. "It's not what it seems,” They keep talking, “Nothing happened with... with that woman."

I look at him surprised, but I shake my head, I don’t want distractions. Damn hormones.

Both continue talking and I try to connect what’s happening with the little information it gives me.

“You're not alone," He replies. His heart beats faster and I feel his body tense.

"Ben?" I touch his shoulder. He stirs in my bed and the connection seems to be cut, his gaze returning to me.

"I wish everything was easier. I wish I could tell you everything that's going on, but I can't do it, even I don't know. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’ve failed you and there’s nothing I can do to remedy it. You’re right to be angry, since I saw you... the night I thought I lost you is the only thing I could see every night. I may regret many things, but what I can never, truly forgive myself for, is what I did.”

I don’t know what to tell him.

"I tried to forget you- The woman… nothing happened.”

"You don't need to give me an explanation–“

"I need to, I must do it,” He gets up and paces around the room. "I don't know what you're doing to me, but just as, or maybe worse than when we were younger and I can't stop thinking about you and... I'm going crazy."

“You're not the only one…” I say in a whisper.

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"I don’t know.”

After a few seconds, he comes closer and I get up. My body is tired and I’m sure that his is too. His hand touches my cheek and I get closer to him, resting my head on his chest. Then we just hug. Since I came here, it’s the first time that I feel safe.

That night we both slept in the same bed, the first night without any nightmares.

——————————————————————

When we wake up, Ben shakes my shoulder lightly and tells me about Rey's possible arrival.

"I need you to stay here.”

"It's the only thing I've done since day one,” I roll my eyes as I get up.

“Kiara…"

"You know I'll be leaving as soon as I can and you won't be able to stop me,” He sighs and gives me the briefest of smiles.

“Rey’s arrival will cause chaos.”

"I'm used to it."

"Kiara, please–”

“No."

Ben growls, but he knows he can't do anything.

"Come with me” I say. He looks at me in surprise.

"Yesterday you just wanted to yell at me, now you want to take me with you?”

"I always want to yell at you, sometimes strangle you but... what you think of as the chaos, I see it as an opportunity.”

"You can't come with me, I must take her with Snoke.”

"Then go, but as soon as you can... come back to me,” I craddle his face in my hands. “You're not alone, Ben. You have a home and you know it, it is your duty to return.”

He lean further and kisses my forehead, takes my hand, puts something in it and then closes it.

"Stay safe," He then leaves the room. I open my hand and feel a terrible lump in my throat when I see the necklace Han gave me on my birthday.

I can’t wait anymore

I look for my lightsaber in Ben's room. And I prepare for the inevitable.

——————————————————————

I walk all over the ship with my saber in hand, ready to get rid of any droid or person, but it seems that all the troopers have been called somewhere else, I'm heading there too.

Upon arrival, there are several armed groups, I get closer and I hide behind some boxes. Without attracting attention I listen to what they say. Apparently Phasma and Hux are in front of two people in first order uniforms… Hold on…

"You're wrong,” I know that wonderful voice!

Finn and... another girl are forced to kneel.

“Take them out with a blaster is too good for them. Let them hurt,” Phasma orders.

Damn, now I understand what the other soldiers say about her, she’s not the boss for nothing. The only good thing about my confinement was not running into her. Although, it wouldn't be a bad idea to meet us now, would it?

I come out of my hiding place little by little and see how two troopers come out with weapons ready to obey Phasma.

"We don't have to get aggressive, guys,” Their focus is on me now.

"The prisoner,” says Phasma.

“I'm Kiara, pleasure,” I feel the eyes of Finn and the girl on me as well.

"Catch her,” Two troopers approach and with no effort, I turn on my laser and get rid of them.

"I wanted to chat, my dear. But it’s not going to be possible, free them and maybe I’ll have mercy.”

I don't wait for an answer and the two soldiers who trapped Finn and the girl met by my saber. Both get up and the other soldiers get into attack position.

"Was this your plan?" Finn whispers.

I grimace.

"Not the best, but at least I helped?”

“We're dead,” the girl complains and I look at her offended.

Before anyone could do something, a big bang explodes behind us. All I remember is my body crashing against the ground. It doesn't take long for my eyes to open and see everything on fire, some ships being destroyed.

With difficulty I get up and feel a great déja vu. I turn to my left and see the girl trying to drag Finn's body. I reach out to help her, but he manages to wake up.

"Finn!"

The boy gets up.

“There's a ship back there, we have to go!”

I stop.

Go, I could get out of here.

"Kiara?" Finn asks me worried. "We must run away…”

I start to run, but we didn't last long since Phasma and a group of Stormtroopers survived.

The fight begins and the shooting of the blasters do too. I light my saber again and use force as an ally to try to defend myself and help my friends.

"Finn!" The girl screams and I see how Phasma corners the boy. I try to go to him, but a group of soldiers stop me.

Phasma manages to hurt the boy and knocks him unconscious. I don't waste time and just when the soldier tries to kill Finn, I stop her with my saber, now the fight is between her and me.

"We wouldn’t have been friends," I say between gasps. I dodge her attacks and I can tell she is good, but she’s also weak.

I hurt her with my saber in the leg and she falls, I raise my gun, but before I can do anything. I feel a huge pain in my chest, so much that it destabilizes me and I recoil a little, I can hardly breathe.

Ben! I don't get a response. A great mistake, a great distraction.

Suddenly a sharp pain shakes my body. Phasma took advantage of the distraction and used her weapon to cut my arm.

I scream in pain and fall to the ground as I hold myself.

What happened next is a little fuzzy, I see Finn, then he reaches out and grabs my saber, pulls my left arm and helps me up, my weight on him.

"Come on, Kiara, don't leave me now," He whispers in my ear as we walk.

The girl along with BB-8 manage to help us and we all go to a ship to get out of there.

On the ship, Finn lays me down and the girl helps him cover my no-longer-right hand, but before we leave, I close my eyes and focus on the connection.

Ben

I wait a few seconds.

Sorry

You must come

I’m so sorry, my star

——————————————————————

Finn and Rose's ship arrives at the rebel base, being a ship of the first order, everyone begins to shoot, but the crew raise their hands and little little by little they come out to make it known that they’re not the bad guys.

“Finn! Rose! You’re not dead!” Poe yells as soon as he sees them. “Where's my droid?”

BB-8 runs towards its owner while Finn and Rose help with great difficulty to Kiara, who’s about to fall unconscious.

Leia and Poe reach out to help. Kiara, seeing the woman can't help but shed pent-up tears.

"Sorry, I- I tried, He…” Says the girl between sobs.

"Shhh, honey, it's okay, I understand."

Poe takes Kiara in his arms and carries her away to the doctors while the others move from one side to the other with the new teams to continue fighting.

The fight is not over.

The doctors managed to stop the bleeding and were able to keep Kiara awake, but her body remains weak. She needs to go to a base where they have better teams.

"I'll be fine, you must help others…” She says with difficulty as she gets up. The doctors are not sure, but they obey.

Kiara stays in her place and tries to contact Ben, but all her efforts are in vain. Ben has put up his barriers again and her weakness doesn’t allow her to break through them.

"I see you followed my style…”

The girl looks to her left in disbelief.

“Luke…” The man points to her hand with a small smile. Kiara rolls her eyes and laughs a little. "It suits me better."

"I bet,” When Luke is in front of her, he touches her cheek. "I'm sorry for all the damage you've been through, Kiara.”

"I guess that’s what happens when you listen to a blond man impressed by your abbilities as a thief.” We both laughed.

"I come to confront him, Kiara. I can't save him,” The girl knows what he's talking about and looks away for a few seconds.

"I tried to help him, Luke."

"You did a better job than me,” He says with a half smile. "I don't know what happened, but I feel like I should apologize.”

“Luke," She tries to say something, but the man continues.

"I'm sorry I failed you and Ben, but now I'm here to try to fix things,” He sighs. "I must also confess…” She stares at him, expectant. "Of all my students, you will always be my favorite," Both laugh again.

The last thing Luke Skywalker gives to his former apprentice, his friend, is a kiss on her forehead, then he heads towards the main headquarters, where Leia is.

The confrontation continues between Kylo Ren and the resistance, only now, Luke Skywalker is the distraction. The problem now is to get out of the cave.

Poe finds the solution by being guided by the cave-dwelling creatures. Everyone follows him, Finn helps Kiara until they reach where the exit would be, but it’s covered by stacked rocks.

"I don't like this at all," says Kiara looking at Leia.

"There must be another way out," says Poe desperately, but the movement of the rocks interrupts him.

On the other side Rey is in charge of using force to leave the exit clear. Everyone leaves and Finn hugs his friend while Poe picks up Kiara again and helps her move on.

"Someone has leveled up in the 'lift rocks' lesson, right?" Kiara scoffs when she walks past Rey, who just laughs. Everyone follows the path up to the Milenium Falcon.

Kiara's body is connected to various machines and medical help. At this moment, finally, she closes her eyes and rests after a very hectic day.

Taglist:

@oopsiedoopsie23

@blackheartedspider

@fandomshit6000

@thewinterschildren178

#Kylo Ren #Ben Solo #Kylo ren x reader #Ben solo x reader #Star wars #Star wars fanfic #Home #twoidiots writing

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lonestorm · 6 years ago

Text

Adventures of Sindad - 5

Summary: Sinbad is lucky to be alive after his whole “Taking over the world” phase. But with the fact that he had completely fallen off the deep end, the generals decide it’s time that Sinbad is reined in from is obsession. There are, perhaps, seven people that will be up for the job. Seven tiny people.

Basically a Sinbad post-Magi redemption story of him trying to raise seven children.

Also on AO3 and ff.net

Sinbad’s head was still spinning with numbers by the time he made it back to his office. He was calculating a million different possibilities of what could go wrong with the latest deals made, but each seemed manageable, and most profitable. Businessmen always did manage to prosper in chaos; as he’d spent most of his life trying to rid the world of turmoil, Sinbad wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about benefiting from it. He wouldn’t have minded if it was for the sake of protecting Sindria and his dream of peace, but now… now no one was fighting, the world was free of Solomon or David’s (or his own) control… what else was there for him to do?

The thought stopped him in his tracks, just before his door. The fear gripped him so tightly that he couldn't reach for the handle.

Anything he sacrificed had been for the destiny he saw.

And now his sight was gone.

SInbad let out a shaky exhale and ran a hand through his hair. When he’d admitted it before, he’d still found something to change, something to improve--the fabric of the world. Now there was no voice in his head, no magician, no magi to tell him what more could be done in place of his own vision.

For the first time, the rest of his life was a blank page.

For the first time, he didn’t feel…

Well, he felt silly thinking of the word “special,” but that did seem to be the closest fit.

Special. He wasn’t…

But he shook his head. No. No time to think about that now. He had kids to pick up from school in a short while.

When he entered, there was giggle and a small voice humming. Kaito and Samia were sitting on the floor with Pipirika, drawing on scrap paper with colored pens. Pipirika was laughing, complimenting Samia on her squiggly… flower, was it? And Kaito was enthusiastically coloring his picture of a ship blue while humming a quick little tune with the strokes of his hand. They instantly looked to him as the door opened, and Kaito jumped up.

The boy barreled over to him, gripped the bottom of his robes and held up his paper. “I made you a ship!”

A bit of his anxiety fell away as he took the picture. “You did this all by yourself? Wow! It’s a lovely ship, Kaito. Thank you.” He ruffled the boy’s hair, and said, “I need to finish up for about half an hour, and then we’ll head home and pick up your siblings.”

Kaito nodded as Pipirika gave a short wave and departed from the room. Samia moved wordlessly to sit by his feet and continued her drawing. Sinbad had only just rounded his desk when his phone rang.

The caller ID was labeled Rurumu Academy. He frowned, and put the phone to his ear. “President Sinbad of the Sindria Trading Company. What can I do for you?”

The voice was strained. “U-uh, S-Sir, there’s been an issue with your children today, and it’s policy to call the parent and ask them to attend a meeting as soon as possible.”

Sinbad stood up straight. “Issue? Are they okay? Which ones?”

“Um, all of them, Sir. And they’re essentially fine; I’m afraid they started a fight in the hallway.”

He gaped at the phone, and then put it back to his ear. “Wh-what? You’ve gotta be joking.”

“I-I’m afraid not, Sir. They’re in the office now, awaiting your and the other parents’ arrival for the disciplinary meeting. Will you be able to attend?”

“I, uh…” Sinbad sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “Yes, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Thank you for your time, Sir.”

“No trouble. Thank you for letting me know.” He hung up, and dropped into his seat with a groan. So much for getting the rest of the airship forms read. First day with his new hours and he’s already leaving half an hour early.

Steeling himself, he dialed his phone and gripped his desk. Ja’far picked up right away, with a snappy, “What.”

“I have to leave early,” Sinbad said shortly, turning his chair to face the window. “The school office called me in for a meeting. The kids got in trouble.”

“Already?”

“Already. I’ll take the forms home and work on them tonight.”

“Fine.”

Sinbad hesitated. “...Yamuraiha is in town today, right?”

“Yes.”

Before he could think about it too much, Sinbad said firmly, “I’d like to have you and her over for dinner.”

Surprise was evident in Ja’far’s voice. “...oh. Why? Is there some new magic device we need to discuss?”

“No. Just… because.”

“Uh… okay. I’ll call her. What time?”

“I’ll play it safe and say seven. We’re having...something.”

A weighty pause. “...Yeah. Alright.”

“Yeah. See you. And… I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

He could almost hear Ja’far’s eyes bugging out over the phone. “Really?! I-I mean, uh, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” sighed Sinbad, leaning far back in his chair.

Ja’far was quiet for a moment, and then replied, “No, I’m sorry. I know you’re doing your best now to fix things, and I haven’t made it any easier for you. I should have talked to you about the changes, first.”

“That’s not your job. And I know I didn’t do the same for you when I was making those… decisions.”

“I’m not helping by repeating your actions against you,” Ja’far admitted. “I guess I’m still just… pissed off.”

“I know.” Sinbad turned back around, closing his eyes. “See you later.”

Sinbad dropped his face into his hands and let out a strangled groan. How was he, the builder of the peaceful world, supposed to keep his good reputation with the headmistress of the school he founded when his own children started brawls on their first day of class?

Gathering his will, he pushed himself out of the chair and grabbed his jacket. “Samia, Kaito, we’re going to leave a bit early today, alright? I have to meet with some adults at the school to talk about your siblings today.”

The kids agreed quite readily, but Sinbad was now more concerned about how to get them out of the building unseen. He found Pipirika’s number on his phone. “Hey, I know you’re busy, but I need you to escort the children to my car. I’ll follow shortly.”

“Uh… okay, sir.”

“...I’m not in the mood for dealing with the press today.”

“Ah. Understood. But um, you didn’t drive in today, sir.”

“Oh. Right. An extra company car, then.”

“Right away, sir.”

Sinbad followed soon after his confused children; he was glad they weren’t old enough so that they wouldn’t think he was embarrassed about them. Zara, on the other hand…

He groaned, pushing to his feet. Pipirika led the kids out soon after, and he waited five minutes to walk down and get in the car in front of them. “Ready for an adventure?”

The young lady at the school’s front desk squeaked and dropped all of her papers when she saw him. “O-oh! M-Mister Sinbad! U-uh, r-right this way… I-I can watch the y-younger ones while you’re in the m-meeting. I-I have toys back here for when p-parents need to do that.”

“Thank you very much, Miss,” Sinbad told her, trying not to smirk. He was aware of the effect he had on women, but with everything going on, he hadn’t exactly gotten an ego boost from it in a while. After a day like this, he could use a little blushing and longing gazes in his direction to cheer him up.

The headmistress’ office was at the end of the reception area. Grimacing, Sinbad slowly pushed open the door. The kids looked up at him all at once, squeezed in the room on variously shaped chairs, as if they had to gather some from other places just to fit the students all in. A few other children were scattered among them, but Sinbad was focused only on the bruise forming on Seti’s eye, the cut above Zara’s brow, and the blood trickling from Leo’s knuckles.

Sinbad stormed in and knelt beside them. “Are you okay? What happened?” He brushed Zara’s hair away from the sticky blood, examined Leo’s knuckles. Checked over Rei and Kendria; they seemed unscathed. He took Seti’s chin in his hand gently and turned his face. “Who did this to you? And where is a cold pack for his face?”

“On its way,” he headmistress said shortly. She was an lady in her fifties, graying hair back in a tight bun. “If you could have a seat, Mister Sinbad, we’ll start the meeting and discuss the situation.”

With a last glance over the children and a reassuring smile in their direction, he sat and folded his hands. Three other parents were here, sternly sitting by their jittery kids or gaping at Sinbad. “Now, I was called about some kind of scuffle?”

“All of your children,” the headmistress began, “were involved in a physical fight in the atrium today.”

“He started it!” Zara seethed, pointing at a mousey-faced, brown haired boy to her right.

“Hush, Zara,” Sinbad told her in the most soothing tone he could muster for the situation. He leaned back in his seat. “We each need to wait our turn to speak.”

She gritted her teeth, and seemed to be about to retort, but Leo kicked her in the shin. Bless that kid.

The headmistress continued, “From what I’ve gathered, there was an argument that evolved into a fight. Eventually, the ben Sinbad children ganged up on these other boys-”

“There were ten of ‘em against us five!” Seti protested this time. “You only caught three of ‘em!”

“Seti.” Sinbad gestured for him to be quiet with a finger. “Wait your turn. I’m sure the headmistress will take what you say into account fairly.” He offered the lady a smile. “So what was this argument allegedly about?”

“I-It’s quite insignificant,” the headmistress said, trying and failing to keep an entirely stern demeanor. The eternal magic of a smile. “We have a zero tolerance policy on fighting.”

“Well, I’m sure the children were aware of that,” Sinbad began, folding his hands. “And they still chose to fight. Surely zero tolerance doesn't quite solve underlying problems that are the source of the rule breaking?”

The headmistress shifted and cleared her throat, flustered. “Th-that may be, but indulging childish arguments--we can hardly cater to a child’s petty issues-”

“On the contrary, headmistress,” Sinbad said, smiling more widely while his tone took a sharper edge, “I care very much about addressing the children's’ issues, and hardly find them petty.”

In his peripheral vision, he could see the kids begin to smile. But what really made his chest swell was the flicker of approval in Zara’s widened eyes.

At this point, the headmistress finally seemed to remember that Sinbad was the main funding for her school.

“O-of course, sir. Em, would one of you children raise your hand to calmly explain the argument? Each side will have the chance to speak.”

Every student’s hand shot up, except Kendria, who was anxiously kicking her feet while staring at the ground. The headmistress chose Leo to speak, probably having picked up that he was the levelheaded one of the group.

Leo spoke as calmly as she’d asked, “That boy was making fun of Kendria’s trouble with the language and hat and staff and Torran markings.” He pointed at the boy that Zara had indicated. “His friends joined in--nine of them--and he grabbed her staff away. Zara told him to give it back and leave her alone, and when he wouldn’t, Seti hit him. When they started hitting Seti, Zara and I joined in to help him and Rei was trying to get everyone to stop. Kendria got her staff back and did a spell to separate all of us. Six of his friends ran away before the teachers came. And that’s what happened.”

Sinbad’s jaw clenched; he’d told Kendria this morning that everything would be fine. The fact that this bully had made him a liar caused his hands close tightly around his armrests.

The headmistress raised her eyebrows at the accused brown-haired boy. “Is this true, Jeremiah?”

“No,” he muttered, not looking at her. “I wasn’t doin’ nothin’--these kids are all freaks and started fighting us.”

From the looks he was getting, Sinbad could tell that no one was convinced.

“Jeremiah!” the boy’s mother said harshly. “You don’t call other children names! Apologize.”

At his mother’s command, the boy murmured an apology. Sinbad turned to the headmistress. “I’m sure my children are tough enough to handle juvenile insults without devolving into violence, but I’d prefer them to have a more stress-free learning environment. And furthermore, taking the staff of a magician is rather dangerous for anyone involved; this boy is lucky it didn’t take off someone’s limb on accident.” His eyes swept over the children. “Perhaps they were concerned about that situation, wanted to get the staff back as quickly as possible, and didn’t think to get a teacher instead.”

Spreading his hands open in compromise, he said, “I understand that it’s school policy to give appropriate punishment. Might I suggest this as a first strike, and you trust me to discipline them accordingly on my own? I will ensure that they will learn proper restraint in the future. If this happens again, you have my full permission to use your own disciplinary procedures. My children have just experienced a massive change in their life in one week and have yet to understand the culture of their new environment. I’d be most appreciative of your leniency until I’ve had further chance to explain this to them.”

The headmistress seemed quite lost for words for a minute. “I… yes, the school would be open to that. Please see that your children understand how to handle these issues in the future, and next time, you will all have school-delivered consequences. The ben Sinbad children may leave, unless any parents have further objections or questions about the situation?”

The parents were quiet, until one blurted, “Chairman Sinbad has children?!”

Me too, man. Me too, he thought. Sinbad stood, gestured vaguely to the kids, and gave a helpless shrug. “Evidently. Come along, Sindria Squad.”

The kids trailed after Sinbad like a line of ducklings, Kaito and Samia catching up to their siblings eagerly. He began to lead them towards the back parking lot, walking very stiffly. Sensing the tension, the children kept quiet until they reached the car, where Sinbad helped them inside and then got into the driver’s seat. He breathed out, gripped the steering wheel.

“You know better than to get into fights,” Sinbad finally said, staring at the children in the mirror. “My children cannot be kicking around other kids at school.”

“Oh why, because we’ll ruin your image?” Zara spat, crossing her arms and flipping back her bangs. “Lighten up, old man--we didn’t even get punished.”

“The only reason you didn’t get punished is because I did some sweet talkin’ to get you out of it,” Sinbad said through gritted teeth. “It’s not about my image. It’s about responsibility. You’re underage, so I’m still responsible for you. I trusted you all to behave well. And any of you who thought fighting would fix this rather than getting a teacher or walking away from silly verbal insults has disappointed me.”

Leo and Seti looked down into their laps, but Zara barely flinched. She bit back, “Responsible for us?! You’ve only had us for a day! Why should we care if you’re disappointed? How should we know what high class expectations you have for us in your fancy rich people world? As if you’d know anything about what it’s been like for us, what it’s like to suffer and not have whatever we want whenever we want--sometimes you have to fight for that! And you-” “That’s enough,” Sinbad said quietly, but firmly. “Perhaps I don’t know much about any of you, but that comment proves that you also know nothing about me. So let’s just make it clear: I expect maturity from you, respect and civility, whether or not someone is being respectful to you. You use physical violence only when someone is being violent with you or your friends. Taking her staff didn’t count; that’s when you get a teacher. I’m disappointed that you fought-”

“You just-!”

“However, I am proud that you defended your sister,” Sinbad finished. “Kendria, good job separating them, and good job to Rei for trying to help. Leo, Seti, and Zara, I’m glad you’re okay, and I’ll get you some ice when we get home. Kaito and Samia, thank you for being so patient and good at work today. Now we’re going home, where you’ll do your homework, show me when you’ve finished, and then you may play in the main room or the backyard in view of the kitchen windows. Are we all clear?”

There were murmurs of approval all around, mixed with a few “Yes sir!’s” here and there.

The kids kept themselves occupied on the way back, talking quietly (for the most part) amongst themselves. And Sinbad… he was barely keeping his shit together, so many things on his mind that he thought it might burst.

It was less of a problem trying to keep your cool in a business situation, where his superiority was mostly unquestioned. But these kids had barely any reason to grant him see him as an authority figure. He had to gain their respect. Or maybe… just Zara’s. He could easily gain the respect of kings and queens with his power in the past (With the exception of being thrown in a chasm of snakes), but Zara wasn’t likely to give a crap about whether or not he could blow a hole in a mountain. She cared about if he was… well, he didn’t even know.

Well, at least he knew the right questions: What did they need from him and how could he give it to them?

That was a bit more like a trading company situation. He’d observed what a trading partner needed and found out how to give it to them for what he needed in return… though Sinbad supposed he couldn’t exactly expect to get anything in return from children. All the same, just being generally observant should solve his problems. He was good at figuring out what people needed.

He nodded to himself reassuringly, and focused on what he needed to do next. Paperwork. Check homework. Make sure kids don’t die. Order food. Make sure kids don’t die. Try to make sure dinner isn’t awkward. Make sure kids don’t die. Put kids to bed. Try to actually sleep. Without alcohol.

...yikes.

#Finally out XD #sorry for the wait!#hope you enjoy #MAGI STILL WITH US #sinbad #aos #my fanfiction #my writing #magi fanfiction #magi #adventures of sinbad

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therealrosebuddies · 7 years ago

Text

Like a Blaster to the Heart Pt. 9

The Resistance has finally found a new home, but getting permission from the local princess (you) has come with more problems than expected. All seems to go well, but Poe Dameron is about to discover that they’re new Princess is anything but ordinary.

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Outfit sketches :https://mattstarrxfandomimagines.tumblr.com/post/170519620711/i-drew-out-all-of-the-readers-outfits-from-like-a

Tag list: @nessoverjoyed @cassianandorxreader @shelter-with-bambam @o-brienwrites @myrabbitholetoneverland@chloecat48 @sheddingpounds @baileythepenguin@sarcasticsquid @twerkinglucifer @alexiamiky2003

Pairings: Poe x Reader, Onesided-Kylo x Reader

Warnings: blood, fighting- not much else :)

So this is the ninth part of this series- whew! It’s turned out a lot longer then I thought it would. Also, this part starts out slower- but it doesn’t stay that way for long! Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again, for supporting me as I write, I love, love LOVE when you guys message me or send input. It literally sends me over the moon. So please don’t be afraid to talk to me- I want to know what’s working out and what isn’t. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, as always -I will keep writing a post the next part if you like it- so happy reading!

“Well you can take your administrative adjudication and shove it right up your-” “Commander!” “Sorry. What I meant to say was: there’s no way in the universe that the resistance is going to go under an entire civilizations nose and use them for free labor!” Poe reworded hotly, arms folded tight. You watched from your metal bench as the pilot stared down the at the man across from him, someone much older and grayer. They stood with all of the other council members in the middle of the room, turned blue in the light of the hologram that floated above their heads. The room was taller than it was wide, constructed for addressing large crowds. The stage was small and fixed at the bottom of the room, with rows of circular benches leading up to the doors. Almost the entire rebellion was here (which wasn’t much), plus the teams that the visiting officials had brought with them. For the first time since you had been at the base you felt compressed- like there were to many people packed into the small curl of seats. With your front teeth pressed into your lip, you watched as the leaders of the rebellion debated, stuck close between Rose and Finn. The synth fabric you had borrowed felt stiff and a little itchy, rubbing against the bandages you were trying so hard to hide. Dressed in plain grey, if someone had looked into the crowd, they wouldn’t have been able to guess you were anything but another resistance soldier. No one would have been able to guess you were the former princess of the system. You liked the anonymity- it let you relax.

The meeting had been going on for about an hour, but to you it felt like days. It seemed like they were talking about the same things- over and over and over. In fact, you were pretty sure you had seen some rebels falling asleep in their seats. You rubbed your flat palms together and leaned forward, squinting down at the argument below. “But the Hadarian people have already agreed to let us live on their planet. They want us to be there.” “Because we aren’t telling them the whole truth!” Poe rebuddeled and then pointed up at the glowing map. “Taking refugee on Hadar would put us closer to the First Order then any of our other options.” “Commander, I under-” “I’m not finished. Korell, on the other hand- is perfect. Out of the way, old enough that it’s looked over on univ- maps, and there are networks of caves already waiting for us to fill.” “But it will take a year before a real, efficient base is up and running. Not to mention how much money it’s going to cost.” “Do you want to stop the First Order? This here is our best bet.” The Commander insisted, staring down the man who bad mouthed you a day earlier. The man- Senator Nemumpr as he liked to be called- looked like he was about to blow a gasket. This Commander, this ameuture was pushing him to the breaking point. At this moment, the two resistance leaders looked like they were seconds away from strangling each other. It was time for the General to step in. “Okay, Okay- calm down.” Leia spoke forcefully, drawing everyone’s gaze from the angry debate to her level headed stance. “I can see both sides of this argument. Senator- you have a good point when bringing up the factor of time. If we did go to Hadar, it would be much, much easier to restart our headquarters.” Leia paused, almost like she was taking in the reaction of everyone in the room. Nemumpr smiled smugly, glancing down at Poe over his frosty white nose. “But the risk of being so near to the First Order is too big of a problem for us to ignore. It would be too easy for scouts and other patrols to find out base on Hadar. That is why I am going to side with Commander Dameron on his point.” You smiled into your hands as the Senator’s mouth dropped open and then room began to buzz with discussion. Poe looked from Leia appreciatively and then head on at Nemumpr, his expression returning the smug gaze he and received just moments before. So the resistance was leaving- it was official. Poe looked up at the crowd, finding you sitting quietly. He winked quickly, just fast enough for you to have seen it. It wouldn’t have been ‘professional’ if everyone had. You rolled your eyes- but you were smiling, cheeks flushed red. This was enough for the pilot. But as he smiled up at you, an official grabbed Poe’s attention from you, disappearing behind a door that you weren’t allowed inside of. So much for talking after the meeting. Everyone in the room began to disperse, following the example of their leaders. And then it hit you. The Resistance was leaving the Umbaran system. You leaned back into the bench, smile faltering as you realized what had just been decided. There had always been this overarching feeling in the back of your mind that told you this was going to happen- stars, you had been working with Poe all that time to get the communication device so they could leave. Throughout all of it, you had never actaully realized what that had meant. Now you did. What were you going to do? Or course- you wanted to leave. You wanted to jump on the first shuttle out of here and get away as fast as you could. But there was something in the pit of your stomach, some unrelenting dread in the back of your mind you couldn’t quite place. You couldn’t leave yet- not before saying goodbye. “F/n?” Rose was holding your shoulder, shaking you out of your thoughts. “Oh- kriff- sorry. I just zoned out.” You admitted, standing as the other rebels began to rush out of the room. Rose smiled at you and released your shoulder as she nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure everyone was getting tired of them arguing about the same thing. It’s good that the Commander won though.” You nodded absentmindedly and followed Rose as you exited the tight bleachers, walking up the stairs. It was great that Poe had successfully made his case- you couldn’t have been happier for him. But now that you were thinking about leaving, your mind was elsewhere. As you neared the top of the stairs, you brushed a strand of loose hair from your face- and then caught a glimpse of bright white fabric moving in the corner of your eye. You stopped abruptly, your head snapping to the right. The soldier below you grunted in annoyance as you stopped, bumping against your lower back. You offered up hasty apologies as you stepped once again into the bleachers, staring up at the spot where you thought the white had been. Rose looked back down at you from the top of the stairs, wondering with an open mouth what you were doing. You waved her away and gave a thumbs up, assuring her you were fine. The maintenance worker smiled- a little unsure- and then walked off along with the crowd of people. Gaze flickering back to the stairs, you were sure that you saw a flash of white fabric coming from that way. “F/n!” A small voice hissed at you from above the stairs, near the rounded hallway that lead around the rest of the room. Your head perked up and you scrambled up the bleachers, feet hitting the hard floor of the corridor. Turning to the right, you peered down the veering hallway. Rey was leaning sideways, pressed against the wall to avoid being seen. You hadn’t seen her since… she had put you to sleep. You hoped she didn’t feel bad about doing it. “Hey.” You whispered as you hurried over, looking around where you were standing. “Why are you hiding?” Rey looked at you with wrinkled brows and squinting eyes, like it should have been obvious she was hiding in the dark of an abandoned hallway. “I- I would rather only talk to you about this. The less people that know the better.” She answered cryptically, fingers playing with the wrappings on her forearms. You nodded, trying to look as understanding as possible. The way Rey was acting… it was like a wounded animal, unsure of how to talk. Any sudden movement could have spooked her away, causing her to run off before you got an explanation. The jedi inhaled deeply, lids squeezed shut over her hazel eyes. “It’s about Ben.” “Ben? I don’t- Oh….” You trailed off, eyes snapping from the floor and back up to Rey. The way she said that name- you were the one who was nervous now. “Yes. Kylo. I know this might be hard for you, but I need you to tell me what he’s been doing to train you.” Your neutral expression hardened, mouth flattening in a line. A sharp pain stabbed at the pit of your stomach, nerves bristling. “I- I’m not sure if I…” You faltered and set your hands on your hips, jaw set tightly. “… Listen, I just don’t think it would really make sense for me to tell you all of those things.” “Please F/n. Please.” Rey implored, sharp eyes round and begging. You bit your lip, not liking where this was going. The way she was talking about Ren… “Fine.” You relented, dropping your hands. “But first- you have to tell me why you want to know.” Now it was the scavenger’s turn to frown. She seemed to realize what she had just walked into, straightening in disgruntled surprise. “Kriff.” “I know. But you outed yourself. So if you want me to tell you about Ren…” You shrugged your shoulders, beginning to back out of the hallway slowly. Your ploy worked, Rey grabbing your arm and pulling you back toward her. “Okay, fine. But you have to promise not to tell anyone.” “Not even-” “No. Definitely not him.” You couldn’t help but smile, lips pressed shut as they curved upwards. Rey sighed, giving you a dirty look. “I- I think Ben is close to coming back to the light.” You stared at her blankly for a brief second- and then let out a giggle. “Don’t laugh- I’m being serious!” You coughed into your fist, eyebrows shooting up in disbelief. “I don’t-” “You wanted the explanation. So I gave it.” Rey explained, arms folding. Your eyes darkened and you realized- she was being serious. “Rey- I don’t think that’s possible.” Your voice was low, again worried that you would set her off in some way. But she just shook her head, looking as sure of the fact as there were stars in the sky. “But it is. I’ve seen it. Just as I saw your need for Poe.” You did a double-take, eyes widening. “I don- I don’t need him! We’re just…. friends!” “Well that’s the biggest lie either of us has told.” Rey teased, smirking as you grew red. You shook your head, ignoring the jedi’s wide smile. “Let’s just talk about Kylo- what did you want to know again?” You changed the subject, teeth gritted slightly. “Something about training right?” Rey nodded, her bright smile falling back into a neutral expression. Your eyebrows furrowed in concentration and then you looked up at the ceiling, trying hard to think of something to say to her. “Oh- there’s the lightsaber.” “The lightsaber?” “Yeah- he’s been training me to work by his side. He gave me the saber about a month ago.” Rey thought for a moment, digesting the information she had been told. ‘Join me… Please.’ “He asked you to work with him?” You made a noise in the back of your throat, kicking your leg back and forth. “Something like that. It was more like he wanted me to be with him forever- but I’m not going to word it that way. It’s too…” You faltered, noticing Rey’s expression. Her eyes had grown cold and there was a vacant frown plastered on her pale skin, almost like she had seen a ghost. “Rey?” The scavenger blinked rapidly, looking back up at you with a stale, forced smile. “Sorry, I was listening- continue.” She brushed aside your look, beckoning for you to go on. “…Okay. So, I guess-” You began to speak again, but something in your pocket buzzed. Neither of you knew what it was. Your head snapped up and you looked at Rey, who had the same confused expression as you did. Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a small, worn out communicator. The device again buzzed in your fingers, sending tremors deep through your bones. “I did not put this here.” You stated, looking at the device suspiciously. For a moment, Rey looked just as wary as you did. And then the communicator let out a loud, single beep- and gave way to a voice. “Hey, did this thing finally pick up?” It was Poe. The tight, uneasy fear in your chest broke, replaced by embarrassed exasperation. He must have placed the tiny communicator in your pocket when you hadn’t been looking. But when hadn’t you been looking? “Poe?” you asked, hoping that he would say ‘wrong number’ and just hang up. But of course- he didn’t. The Commander made a celebratory noise, and you could hear him fumbling with his device as he realized you were on the other end. Rey shot you a look, but you just shook your head. “Great, great! I’ve been trying to get this thing to work for the past ten minutes. I’m glad I finally got a hold of you.” Poe explained, now sounding like he was whispering. You pursed your lips, trying to stay annoyed. “Did you need me?” You asked, hoping that you had time to figure out why Rey was so concerned. The pilot scoffed, and you could almost hear his smile leaking from communicator. “F/n, right now I always need you-” You let out an embarrassed yelp and covered the speaker, blocking out Poe’s next words. Rey looked at you, eyes wide as she began to smile, amazed by what she had just heard. You pointed at her forcefully, giving her a look that said ‘Don’t you dare. Tease me and I kill you’. Lowering your finger slowly, your wide eyes snapped down to the communicator. “Where are you? I think whatever we need to talk about should be discussed in person.” You insisted stiffly, hoping to avoid anything else that would embarrass you. Rey wiggled her eyebrows, and you shot her another hard look of ‘that was not what I meant’. But Poe seemed to be thinking the same thing as the jedi. A soft, sharp intake of breath sounded from the device, and then a cough. “Of- of course. I’m uh- I’m near the barracks. South hallway. Do you want-” “I’ll come to you.” You said quickly, hoping to cut the conversation short. “Excited huh?” Poe teased, to which you let out another baffled gasp and shut off the communicator. Near the barracks, the pilot was looking in confusion at his device. “F/n? F/n? Are you… “ Poe straightened, and then looked down at BB-8. “She hung up on me.”

**************************

The Black Squadron leader rapped his fingers rhythmically against the cargo supply, trying to look as casual as possible. Soldiers and maintenance workers ran back and forth, working rapidly to get the resistance off moon. If any of them asked why he was leaning into boxes, he was planning on saying he was catching a breath after the meeting. But of course, that was the exact opposite of what he was doing. In fact- the very anticipation of seeing you was making his heart rate rise instead of fall. He wanted to know how you were doing; did you like it here? Were you feeling better? Stars- he wanted you to like it here. Poe couldn’t remember that last time he had felt this nervous, this jittery to see someone. Maybe it had been the first time he had met Leia, when he was still just a kid. But this kind of anticipation was different. It was so much worse. It made his palms sweat, his throat tight and his heart race- almost as fast as he was tapping his fingers. The pilot pulled on his collar, wondering when it had gotten so hot. “Poe!” The namesake of the shout dropped his hand, eyes widening. When he looked up he saw you ducking under the landing gear of a cargo ship, making a straight beeline for him and the packing crates. A bright smile broke apart his nervous composure as he watched you, slipping and pushing past the workers. “Took you long enough.” Poe teased, hoping he sounded more nonchalant then he felt. “I would have come faster if you hadn’t embarrassed me. Rey wouldn’t shut up about it.” “What are you talking about? I didn’t embarrass you.” “Poe-” “What was embarrassing?” The commander asked with a smirk, knowing exactly what he was doing, now more comfortable focused on bothering you instead of being nervous. You frowned up at him, face growing warm. He looked down at you with that smile- and there was something in his eyes that made your stomach flutter out of control. “Stop it.” “Stop what?” Poe asked again, staring down at you as he caught on to what you said. He kept his gaze on you, dark eyes roving over you face as you avoided looking back. “You know what- Stars! Just stop staring!” You hissed and then turned to look at him, determined to stay angry. To your plea he leaned his elbow against a tall crate and smiled at you, delighting as you turned a darker red. You made a disgruntled, high pitched noise and leaned forward, covering Poe’s eyes for him. “There. Now we can talk.” Your hand was cold against the pilot’s eyelids, and he could feel your hand twitch as his eyelashes fluttered against your palm. Poe reached up and found your hand, wrapping them in his fingers as he removed them from his eyes. You stood there flushed and perfect, your frown weak and parted. Poe’s heart thudded against his rib cage as he held your fingers close, thumbs drawing repetitive circles into your knuckles. You swallowed softly, finding it hard to speak with all of your… distractions. “So what did you need me for?” You asked tightly, trying to focus. “I wanted to know how you were doing.” The commander answered simply, still rubbing your hands as your shoulders relaxed. Your wary face spread into a smile, unable to ignore the bare affection the sentence brought with it. Shifting in your stance, you hummed deep in your throat. “I’m doing better.” “What do you think of all this?” “Think of… the base?” “Leaving.” Poe explained, tearing his gaze from your hands and back up to your eyes. “Are you going to come?” ‘Are you going to come with me?’, was the unspoken question that hung between the two of you, evident in Poe’s grip on your hand, his voice- everything. He wanted you to come so badly that it the need was biting at his heart, the anticipation wearing him down the longer he waited. But how could he outright just ask you to leave? This was the planet you had known your whole life- the only way of living you had knew. And now he was asking you if you wanted to leave it all behind and come with some guy who had only met you a little over a month ago. A guy who really liked you. He watched patiently as your eyebrows furrowed, almost in confusion. Your hand grew into a fist under his, nails accidentally scratching his palms. You looked surprised- like the thought of leaving hadn’t even occurred to you. “I can…” You looked up with wide eyes, “ I don’t have to stay here anymore.” You stated, almost saying it out loud so you would understand it. Without saying anything, Poe knew what you meant. Now that your father was gone, and your entire planet assumed you were dead- there was nothing stopping you from leaving. Nothing stopping you from getting away from Kylo Ren. The pilot looked at you in concern, wondering how you were going to react. But it turned out that he didn’t have to worry.

A small laugh burst free from your lips, which was quickly covered with your free hand. Nevertheless, it couldn’t hide your smile- which traveled from your mouth to your cheeks, your body, your eyes. Your entire body brimmed with the sudden realization. “I can leave!” You exclaimed loudly, arms spread wide. “I know!” Poe replied, smile almost as big as yours as he spread his arms likewise. You jumped into him, giggling wildly as you wrapped his arms tight around his neck. The pilot laughed in surprise as he caught you, hands pressed tight to your back as he lifted you off your feet. Your laughter echoed through the cargo bay, at first mingling with the noise of machinery- and then rising above it with tumultuously loud giggles. Your laughter shot into the crook of his neck and vibrated against his chest, telling him how truly relieved you were. Poe chuckled and exhaled shakily, unable to believe how hard you were laughing. You pulled away from his shoulder, still shaking slightly as you tried in vain to keep the giggles down. Your smile… stars. It was the smile. The smile from the pictures of when you were a kid, before everything was taken away from you. It was tight lipped and wide, teeth exposed for the world to see. There were small crinkles in the corners of your eyes, cheeks muscles squeezing in emotion. Your whole expression was almost too hard to look at, too bright for his eyes. It was beautiful. You looked down at him, laughter beginning to subside and be replaced by an unblinking look that Poe couldn’t quite place. His arms stayed tight against the middle of your back, keeping you high in the air as he gazed back up. He felt your fingers curl into the back of his hair as your eyes searched over his face, something unsaid clicking in your mind. “Poe-” “Excuse me.” A large Ithorian was standing to the side, holding a bulky datapad in his hand as a cargo droid stood behind him. “We need to get to that crate Commander.” You and Poe looked at him in astonishment, slowly realizing the the entire cargo crew had been watching your very public display of affection. They all avoided your gaze as you looked around, growing pinker by the second. Poe coughed awkwardly and dropped you, smoothing down the front his jumpsuit. “Yeah- of course. We were just… talking.” He explained, moving so the droid could lift the crate in it’s hard mechanical arms. The ithorian simply shrugged, deciding to ignore what he had just witnessed. He went back to checking information on the datapad and Poe turned back to you, arms stiff at his sides. You were still smiling. “Well, look who’s embarrassed now.” You teased, arms folded as he walked over to you. Poe set his jaw to keep from smiling, cocking an eyebrow up at you. “You’re just lucky I’m happy you’re coming.” The commander warned, as he began to walk out of the room with you. The way you were looking at him made him want to push you up against the wall and kiss you senseless, wiping the smug look off your face. It was such a tempting idea that he almost did it.

But then you faltered in your walk, eyebrows furrowing. Your mouth turned down in a crooked frown, drawing out Poe’s worry. “What is it?” “I… Kriff. I have to go get my stuff.” You answered. He looked at you quizzically as the two of your rounded a corner, coming up on the stairs to the barracks. What did you mean your stuff? Your hand hovered in uncertainty over the metal railing, wondering if it was even worth it to walk up the stairs. “Your stuff like…” Poe trailed off as he realized what you meant. “At your beach house?” “Chateau- but yes, there.” You replied decidedly as you walked up the stairs. “I don’t think I can leave without taking some things with me.” It was silent for a moment, the weight of what you were saying hanging heavy in the air. You reached the small circular door to your room, mouth set in a hard line. Going anywhere on the surface was a risk. Your entire family line had just been wiped out in a well thought out attack- so there was almost a definite assurance that the Umbaran revolutionaries had placed some kind of backup plan on your moon. And that was the better of the two risks. Kylo Ren was by the far the worst one. Stars, the thought of him catching you again after being missing for two days… Poe didn’t want to think about it. You were so close to being free, so close to not having to worry about your teacher. If you lost it now… No. The Commander wasn’t going to let that happen. You pressed the button on the wall and the door slid open, revealing the tossed covers of the small bed. You stopped next to the mattress, not looking at Poe. “I guess I should just take a speeder. What time are the transports leaving?” You asked, voice hollow. “As soon as we get everything loaded up. That should be a couple hours. We don’t have much to get out.” Poe replied hesitantly, gauging your mood. You had to know that you weren’t going to do this alone. You had to. “Okay. I shouldn’t take to long… if everything goes well.” You finished, pulling your loose hair up as your turned to look at him. The light of the lamp fell on the side of your face, casting your body in a soft glow. Poe could see yourself hardening again, closing up as you thought of all the ways your short trip could go wrong. He watched with a straight lipped frown, eyes darkening as you slipped further and farther away from him. “It shouldn’t take that long at all, because you’re going to be taking a ship.” Poe said firmly, and your eyes grew wide. “But- I can’t fly a ship.” Poe raised an eyebrow knowingly, pointing both fingers at you. You realized what he meant then- eyes widening before they rolled into the back of your head. “Poe, there’s no point in taking a ship.” “We’ll get there faster. Isn’t it important to be quick with this?” “It is, but-” You purse your lips, giving the commander a look. “ You already know how dangerous it is, don’t you?” “Figured it out as we walked here.” You sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with him- and he was right about the ship. A begrudging smile spread across your face as Poe took your hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He wanted to stay with you here in this moment, ignoring all of the problems that existed outside your door. That would have been what he preferred to do- but neither of you had the luxury. “Okay, so how about you get changed and get all of your stuff- than you meet me in the hanger? We can drop in, get your things, and be out before anyone knows we’re gone. How does that sound?” The pilot suggested, his arms traveling up to your shoulders and resting atop them tightly. “Okay. But let’s not get ourselves kidnapped this time, alright?” “That’s cold princess.” He feigned hurt as you smirked up at him, anxiety easing. “See you in a bit.” Poe bent down and pressed a quick kiss against your cheek, delighting in the sound of your small gasp. He pulled away with a crooked smile, and then turned out of the room. “You’re awful!” You called after as he left, trying to keep together the last shreds of indifference you possessed. The door behind Poe slid shut softly, his smile dropping as soon as you couldn’t see him. He wished he was being honest with you then, wished he was truly planning on leaving with you. But he couldn’t risk the chance of Kylo finding you again. Poe was going alone.

*****************************

The Resistance pilot hopped down from the x-wing, eyes squinting through the dark mist. BB-8 whistled down to him as the brisk wind pushed back his black hair, fine drops of condensation landing on his face. “I don’t know buddy. Hopefully not long. You need to stay up there and be ready to transmit a signal to the resistance- just in case. But there’s probably no one there.” Poe reassured his droid, patting the side of the ship. BB-8 beeped again as he began to walk across the stone path. The commander nodded, pulling out his flashlight and setting it to the lowest setting- if there were people here, he didn’t want to be waving around a high powered signal- pointing it down the landing pad. “I’ll be back.” Poe told his anxious droid as he disappeared into the mist, leaving BB-8 in the ship as they whistled nervously. The pilot made his way from the landing pad and began to walk across the white stone bridge. Wind whistled in his ears and tugged at his jumpsuit, threatening to pull him off the overpass and into the bottomless cavern below. What was it with the Umbaran system and giant abysses? Suddenly, a blast of light flashed silently in the corner of Poe’s eye, snapping his attention to the left. A purple streak of lightning ripped across the sky and illuminated the earth in a dark red light, sending his heart dropping to his toes. The pilot could see the path to the chateau, the garden, everything. Poe’s hand tightened around the flashlight as the light disappeared as fast as it had come, leaving him back in thick darkness. Thunder roared immediately after it, shaking the earth and wrapping him in the sound. The commander blinked unsteadily, looking back up the path. When did this planet have lightening? And why did it have to happen now? Ignoring the rumbling and flashes of light, Poe made his way to your house. The grounds were relatively quiet, save for the loud rushing of the beach below. The usually bright garden looked dark and wilted, beaten down by the wind and your absence. Another crack of lightning lit up the area- and then he saw it. The steps… they were covered in blood. The light faded again, but Poe was already shining his lights on the white stairs. There were two Umbaran guards cast across the steps, face down and bent out of shape. His throat tightened as the beam of light flickered over the armored bodies, seeing that they had been dead for a while. That meant someone had already been here- but who was it? The Revolutionaries? Or Kylo Ren? Before Poe had time to figure it out, he heard a loud thud echo from behind the front doors. A jab of icy fear shot through his chest and he dove to the side, behind the cover of the topiary. The door slammed open and out stepped Kylo Ren, light saber blazing. Poe thought all the colorful curses he knew, wishing he hadn’t cared about you enough to come here without you. Because of his hopeless adoration, he had just jumped headlong into a confrontation that would probably get him killed. Was he ever going to learn? From his hiding place, Poe watched as the Supreme Leader of the First Order stepped out onto the porch, looking around wildly. The pilot squeezed his lips shut, trying to stay calm as his heart beat rapidly against his ribs. Ren’s dark hair was unkempt and framed his pale face like a halo, only emphasizing the terrifyingly still expression of a man who thought he had heard something. His breathing was heavy as he looked around, nose flaring as he realized no one was there. But Poe knew this wasn’t going to last for long. The longer he stayed there on the ground, the more likely Kylo was going to find him. There was the possibility that him getting up would cause his capture, but he had gotten on out closer scraps then this. Probably. So Poe stood up-and ran. Kylo’s head snapped to the side as a cacophony of hurried footsteps rang in his ears, fading just as fast as they had started. His dark eyes widened in surprise and he cut down the topiary next to him, leaves smoking as the top half fell to the ground and revealed… nothing. But Ren had heard it- he knew someone was there. He jogged to the side of the porch and vaulted off the railing with one hand, landing solidly as another crack of lightning echoed behind him. Up ahead, Poe was running down the side of your house, no longer trying to be quiet. That wouldn’t help him now. His gaze flickered down the the beach, wondering for a split second if that was the right way to go. And then he remembered the door. The pilot’s eyes scanned the trees desperately, trying hard to find the exact spot where you had been that first night. Right when he thought there was no way to find the hidden door, he saw the blood. Your blood to be specific, old and faint- but still stained into the dark grass. Poe had to clamp his lips shut to stop from letting of a whoop of victory, and then he ran for the wall of the chateau. Kicking the bottom tile, Poe let out a sharp curse. Wrong tile. Wincing slightly, he pressed the next tile to the left, and the door slid open. Poe disappeared into it, just as Kylo came running around the corner. The door slid shut behind him, and the commander fell against the back of the door, letting a loud sigh of relief burst forth from his lips. He was safe. He had made it inside just in time. Well, that’s what he thought. If only Poe had known- -Kylo knew exactly where he was hiding.

**************************************

You stepped out of your room, eyebrows furrowed as the red warning lights above blared and flickered. Your first tightened against the door frame, finding the lights all too familiar. But before your mind froze up, a lone resistance member came running down the hallway. “What’s happening?” You exclaimed, stepping out into the hallway as they ran past you, checking the other rooms. “There’s a star destroyer in orbit! We have to go- now!” The woman told you and then turned, resuming her run through the hallway. You blinked in confusion, unable to process the words she had said. The First Order? How would they have- Your eyes widened, heart squeezing in fear. “Poe.” You shouldered your bag and turned in the opposite direction, clearing the stairs in one clean jump. Veering around the corner and running down another hallway, you came to find the command center. There were rebels running in and out of the room, pushing past and blocking you from getting into the center. You grunted and stood up on your toes, trying in vain to see what was going on. After a few more moments of being jostled- you decided you weren’t going to wait any longer. You pushed forward through the constant stream of people, setting your elbows at your side as you moved forward. And then you saw Leia. “General!” You yelled at her from the open door, still pushing past resistance members. Leia twisted her head and her eyes widened, watching as you tried to get to where she stood. There was something else that scared her- something in your eyes that made her uneasy. “F/n, what are you doing here?” Leia brought you in close, hands resting firmly on your shoulders. “Tell me you have some kind of explanation for that ship.” “I don’t.” You said reluctantly, looking around the room as her hands grew tighter. Poe had to be here- he wouldn’t have left you. The General noticed your roaming eyes and the realized what- or more accurately who- you were looking for. “Commander Dameron isn’t here. He went to work on his X-wing.” Leia tried to explain, but you shook your head at her, eyes squeezing shut as you cursed. “No- he’s not working on his ship… Kriff, he’s so stupid!” You exclaimed, covering your face in your hands. “What? What did Poe do?” General Organa asked, now actively concerned for the pilot. “He- stars! He went up to my chateau without me! We both knew it could be dangerous… Oh- of course he went alone.” You moved your hands from your cheeks to the side of your head, trying to fight off the headache that was threatening to emerge. “Stars, I should never have listened to him!” “F/n- F/n! I need you to calm down.” Leia told you firmly, hands moving from your shoulders to your upper arms. “Do you know if that’s why the First Order is here?” You furrowed your eyebrows, inhaling deeply as your tried to think. If the First Order had known the resistance was here, the base would have already been gone- you knew that. The very fact that they hadn’t already sent down troop transports was enough to convince you they didn’t know the rebels were here. So there was only one other reason why they would have been here. Kylo Ren was looking for you. “The First Order has no idea you’re down here. They would’ve already sent troops down.” You explained as you opened your eyes, heart lifting slightly as the distressed look on Leia’s face lifted. “But I’m worried about Poe. If he went where I think he did…” “Of course- go F/n. We can’t lose Dameron just yet.” You nodded as the General freed you from her grip, patting your cheek like a caring mother. The action made you stop for a moment, looking down at Leia warily. “But what about the Resistance? How are you guys going to get out of the system?” You asked, they very act of getting past the Star Destroyer sounding impossible in your mind. “You let us worry about that. We’ll get around the ship- and you get our Commander.” You turned from the General and headed for the door, knowing there was no more time to waste. “F/n?” You twisted to look at Leia Organa, standing near the hologram as she orchestrated the escape of her resistance. “May the force be with you.”

*********************************

You clicked the speeder off as you neared your old home, the lightning crackling as you sailed across the dark plane. It didn’t storm like this often on your moon, but when it did… it was loud and dark. On another day you would have preferred to sit outside and watch the flashes of light, but today wasn’t a normal day. When had been your last normal day anyways? You narrowed your eyes as your chateau came into view, just barely visible thanks to the purple lightning. But the dark fog was so dense you couldn’t see anything else- nothing but the thick blanket of water vapour. You frowned and stopped the small speeder, looking down the hill to where a bright white x-wing stood. And then you saw the stormtrooper. You let out a small gasp and crouched down, watching as the soldier poked around the hull of the ship. The chatter of his radio carried up to where you were waiting, and you picked up words like ‘x-wing’, ‘landing pad’, and ‘nowhere to be seen.’ So they hadn’t caught Poe yet. Figures. You breathed a small sigh of relief and your muscles relaxed, glad to have heard one bit of good news. Now that you had heard that your pilot was somewhat safe, it was time to find him. You jumped into the foggy air, silent as you sailed down upon the storm trooper below. Your feet slammed down on their shoulders and the soldier crumpled, grunting under your rapidly moving wait. You rolled across the stones and then turned back, not giving the storm trooper a chance as you grabbed his blaster and rammed the butt of it into their forehead. Leaping back up and pressing your back into the landing gear, you waited to see if any other troopers would could running at your through the mist. You gripped the blaster close to your chest, well aware of the lightsaber hanging from the belt of your brown pants. Using the lightsaber on a trooper would’ve been cruel; besides, the blade would just give off your position in the dark mist. The last thing you wanted to be now was seen. Suddenly, loud beeping rattled through the night. You jumped and and scrambled from under the x-wing, looking up to see Poe’s little orange droid. “BB-8! Have you been up there the whole time?” Your mouth dropped as you looked up in surprise. The robot whistled and chittered, head swiveling to where you chateau was. “It’ll be okay. I’m going to get him,” you assured. “Just stay out of sight.” The droid whistled warily as you walked away, unhappy that this was the second person they had to watch disappear into the fog. You were just as unhappy. Walking through the mist put your nerves on end, unable to judge what was coming at you without a flashlight. Each time the thunder cracked it sent a deep vibrations through your bones, making you clench the blaster harder. Your eyes flickered through the dark mist, and you couldn’t help but wish you could sense things- that or use your lightsaber. Both options were sadly out of your reach. Soon, your walk across the wide bridge became complacent, lulled into security as no one appeared to try and stop you. The blaster lowered as you walked, becoming less and less careful as you did. And then you saw the lights. Another storm trooper was barking something into his radio, shining his large flashlight across the bridge. You sucked in a breath, deciding to do the same thing you did with the last trooper. Hopping up onto the thick stone wall of the bridge, you scampered quietly through the fog until you were right over the soldier. You slipped down the wall silently, crouching low as your boot clad feet hit the ground. The trooper twitched like he had heard you and you jolted, reaching out with the force in a jerk reaction you hadn’t planned. The gun flew from their armored hands and back up to their helmet, cracking them across the face. You surged forward and grabbed the stumbling trooper from behind, and then fell backward, crushing his head against the hard stones. The trooper went slack in your grip and you shoved them off of you. It would have been easier to have just thrown the soldier off the bridge, but you couldn’t help but think about Finn. He had been a baby when he was taken from his family, and was forced to become a storm trooper. These soldiers could have been just like him, so you didn’t have the heart to just chuck them off the bridge. You stood up again, breathing in the mist as you gathered yourself together. So far, it was going well. But you had spoken too soon. A rappent flurry of footsteps rose in the air and you turned and stared straight ahead of you, gun ready. You waited as the footsteps grew louder…

…and then you never saw anything. There was no flashlight, nothing. The gun went slack in your grip, pointing back towards the ground. You could’ve sworn you had heard- A large shape came sprinting out of the mist two feet ahead, barreling straight into you. Slamming into the ground, you let out a pained groan as you scrambled to grab hold of the soldier who had bowled you over. Your hands went for the torso and found- fabric. “F/n?!” Your eyes snapped open as warm air hissed over your face. Your fingers curled hard against the dark synth fabric of a jumpsuit as you realized who was laying on top of you. “Poe!” You whispered urgently as he looked down at you, propping himself up on his hands. “What are you doing here?” The two of you asked in unison, both equally surprised in finding the other. You closed your mouth and looked up at the pilot with a pained expression. Poe gazed back with large, urgent eyes, beginning to scramble away from on top of you. He reached out to pull you up, outstretched hand inches away from yours. “We’ve have to get out of here now.” You nodded quickly and decided to yell at Poe later. Reaching out to grab his hand, your fingers brushed his palm- just as he slipped out of reach. Lightning boomed as the pilot flew backward across the bridge, stopping abruptly in front of Kylo Ren’s outstretched glove. His fingers shook millimeters away from Poe’s back, and the commander let out a gasp of pain like the hand had ripped through him. “No-” You scrambled up as another stream of lightning lit up the fog, deathly silent as the thunder lagged behind. Kylo looked past the struggling resistance leader, seeing your dark form pushing to your feet. His eyes widened, and then the fog shot off the bridge, pushed by a sudden burst of the force. The condensation ripped past your legs and billowed through your hair, causing goosebumps to rise across your arms- and then it was gone. You pushed through the receding fog, eyelashes fluttering as you tried desperately to keep out the dense vapor. “You… I can’t-” The Supreme Leaders mouth dropped open wide, eyebrows pinching together dangerously. He had finally found you. He had been looking for two days, terrified that what the Revolutionaries had claimed was true. And now- he knew differently. It was much worse then you being dead. So much worse.

Kylo had thought you had been acting strangely for the past month- but he never thought anything like this was the reason for your behavior. His arm shook as he held Poe in place, concentration threatening to break as his understanding of you slipped from his grip. Ren’s eyes darted from the commander and back to you, the pieces starting to click together as fast as the lightning that surrounded the bridge. You kept your mouth drawn in a sharp, straight line, knowing no matter how hard you denied it- the game was over. Poe struggled against Kylo’s grip, straining to get a good look at you. It was killing you to see him like this, a cold, sick feeling turning in your chest as you watched. “F/n- get out of here!” Poe gasped through his clenched teeth and immediately grunted in pain as he snapped backwards, pinned between Kylo’s elbow and his chest. You let out a gasp of surprise and surged forward, no longer caring about your teachers feelings. Kylo ignited his lightsaber and stopped you in your tracks, holding the blade dangerously close to the pilots face. “How long have you been lying to me?” He asked, voice trembling in the effort to keep his anger in control. “Has it been just this last month? Or have you always been a traitor?” Your hands tightened into hard fists, tearing your eyes away from Poe’s carefully. “I’ve never been a traitor. I was never apart of the First Order.” You hissed icily, watching as Ren’s expression grew father and father from being put together. “But you- I thought we were… “You were wrong Kylo. Anything you thought we were- that was all your own feelings. Not once did I ever imply that I had feelings for you!” You exclaimed, voice growing louder over the rumbling thunder. Poe’s eyes widened in shock as he looked back at Kylo, disgust and realization dawning on his face. “You thought that she liked you?-” The pilot grunted in pain as his head was flipped back around, shoved towards the ground. Your heart lept into your throat, threatening to cave in your composure. But you couldn’t let Kylo know you cared. It wasn’t an option. Instead your narrowed your eyes, watching as Ren tore his gaze from the pilot and up to you as he shook. “You’re a liar.” Kylo stated, his overmontonus voice brimming with barely concealed anger. You kept your lips shut, refusing to give him the reaction he wanted. He wanted you to scream and argue that you weren’t a traitor, that you had never lied to him. But you knew that wasn’t true. The entire relationship had been a lie. When you didn’t reply, Kylo shifted in his stance as he gathered himself, forcing his face to look angrier. “You’re never going to make it parading around as some kind of resistance hero! Try as hard as you want; it is never going to work out the way you wish. You’re a killer remember? Nounus? The Umbarans? My men?…Face it- you’re a monster.” Kylo hissed, your jaw setting defiantly. “Don’t you understand what I’m saying? There’s no other hope for you! I’m the only one who understands you- the only one who will never leave.” The Supreme Leader brought the lightsaber closer to Poe’s neck as he yelled, using the pilot as emphasis. Your breath caught in your throat, hands rising out in front of you, wishing you could reach out and rip the weapon from your masters hands. Kylo watched you hungrily, waiting for you to fold, to break down, to bend to his will. You were lucky that he was letting you live, much less explain yourself. But then you straightened, hair and white shirt blowing in the wind. Your eyes leveled with the Knight of Ren, eyebrows dangerously low as purple lightning crackled behind you. “I don’t care what you say to me. Everything you try to say- it won’t stop me.” You seethed, eyes spitting with a fire Kylo had never seen. “There’s nothing you can threaten me with anymore. You’re done controlling me.” Ren flinched as you stepped forward, taken aback as you pressed closer. The way you were glaring reminded him of someone.

Stars, you reminded him of Rey.

You both had that same fire in your eyes, the same brutal gaze that would stop most in their tracks. The only difference was that yours had been held back for most of your life- and now you didn’t care. You and the scavenger had one other thing in common. Both of you were trying to rip out his heart. Rey had already succeeded, so Kylo decided that he couldn’t let you get away. Never again. The Supreme Leader lifted his head, staring at you from under his eyelashes. Your eyes widened, surprised by the sudden clarity in your teachers face. You faltered backwards as he straightened, towering to his full height with Poe clenched in his arm. “But I do have something to use against you- don’t I?” You froze, veins filing with cold, paralyzing fear. Eyesight flickering down to Poe, you saw a flash of terror glimmer in his eyes, which quickly disappeared as he met your gaze. He shook his head at you, mouth set in a tight line. You weren’t going to do anything- he wasn’t going to let you bend because of him. “Let him go.” The words slipped out before you could stop them and Poe squeezed his eyes shut, wishing you hadn’t said it. Kylo raised an eyebrow at you, amazed you had bent so easily. There was a cruel glint in his eyes as his tight lips formed into a slight, heart stopping smirk. “Why should I? What’s stopping me from killing him right now?” Ren raised his saber closer to the pilots neck, delighting as stray sparks flashed across the exposed skin. “You know I’ll do it. I’m not afraid of killing a man like this.” Your hands squeezed at your sides, brain racing as you tried desperately to think a way out of this. There had to be a loophole, some kind of crazy trick to get Poe as far away from Kylo as possible.

You blinked furiously, hand reaching back hesitantly towards your lightsaber. Would you even be fast enough to stop him? You were a few feet away, too far to reach him quick enough. That left you with the force- and you didn’t even think that would work. “Look, you seem confused- so I’ll spell out your options for you.” The Supreme Leader sneered, holding Poe straight out in front of him, an arm gripping his shoulder and his lightsaber, as the other reached back into his large black jacket. “You can let your precious commander die, and go free as someone like you can. Or… you can wear this.” Kylo extended his other hand, displaying a black headpiece as a clap of lightning lit up the sky. All three of you stared at the jewelry, and for the first time, you could sense something. That crown… there was something wrong with it. “What is that?” You asked- even though you already knew-, trying in vain to keep your voice from trembling. “Insurance.” Ren answered simply, holding it out to you like a peace-offering. “Now that you have no choice, I might as well tell you what it does. I found an incantation in the ruins of an old sith temple- one that could put a single individual under your complete control.” Your eyes widened as you exhaled, a shiver running down your spine. You eyed the dark head piece, heart beginning to beat rapidly. Poe seemed to have realized the same thing as you did, because he had begun to struggle against Kylo’s hard grip. “No! F/n- don’t you dare! It’s not worth it- it’s not-” The pilot grunted in anger and pain as Ren clenched his hand, squeezing his captor’s heart with the force. “Stop! Kylo, please- please!” You begged, knees liquefying as you reached out, wishing you could catch Poe’s face in your hands. You were faced with an impossible choice; watch him kill the one person you had left, or become his for the rest of your life. Eyes beginning to well with tears, you stood helplessly as you felt your heart ripping in two. “F/n, he win’s either way! You can’t let him trap you again- if he has complete control… F/n it won’t end well for any of us! I’m just one person!” Poe pleaded through gritted teeth, knowing what it would happen to you if you took the crown. You shook your head, tears beginning to spill over your cheeks in the red light of the saber. “You’re the only one I have left!” You exclaimed, letting out a dry sob and pressing your lips together as the confession lingered in the air. Poe shook his head as he watched your tears, refusing to let you make the choice. Kylo looked between the two of you, growing more and more angry as he waited. “You’re trying my patience. Make your choice!” He spat, readying the lightsaber close to Poe’s neck. “F/n. Look at me.” The pilot pleaded, his voice sounding far away as you kept your eyes from his face. “Hey- don’t… F/n! F/n, don’t do it! Stars! Don’t you.. F/n!” Poe yelled, his throat burning like he had just downed six shots. You ignored the desperate pleas, walking forward until your fingers wrapped hard against the black metal. “Don’t…” The commander breathed against your cheek, leaning forward as you backed away. The only thing stopping him from following you was the lightsaber pressing into his neck, and even that almost wasn’t enough. You gripped the headpiece in your hands, Kylo’s eyes following you as you walked backwards. He was so close to having someone, someone who would never leave. The anticipation was building in his chest, hand tightening around his weapon. The lightsaber hissed as it pressed into the collar of Poe’s jacket, smoke beginning to curl into the air. Smelling the abrupt smoke, your gaze snapped up, catching Poe’s frantic eyes. You blinked slowly, wishing you could wipe that look off his face. But now it was too late. “I…” You faltered, your top teeth biting down into your lips so hard they drew blood. No matter how much you wanted to say it… you couldn’t. “Thank you, Poe.” you whispered. Kylo’s grip on the pilot slackened as you reached up, slipping the black circlet over your forehead. That’s when everything went dark. You gasped as cold bloomed from the center of your forehead, clouding your vision and dulling your hearing. Stumbling forward, you felt your limbs going numb. Stars- you couldn’t feel anything. Ren’s eyes widened and he threw Poe to the ground, stepping over him to get to you. Your stick stiff body trembled in place, the hard wind threatening to push you over. Kylo grabbed your upper arms roughly, pulling you up to look at him. Your eyes were round and fogged over, milky with an unnatural haze. You looked up at him like he wasn’t even there… like you weren’t there. Kylo opened his mouth to say your name- and then a shot of blaster fire rang out- splitting the crown straight in half. Poe lowered his gun, the barrel still smoking. You inhaled deeply and pushed forward, sending Kylo stumbling away from you. Gasping and coughing, your hands scrambled to rip off the remains of the crown, throwing the burning pieces to the ground. Blinking wildly, the cloudy mist was gone, leaving you confused- and very, very angry. Poe raised up on his elbows and smiled wide as you patted your face and body- awestruck you were still around. Kylo trembled as he looked at you, to the crown, and then back to Poe. The little composure he had kept a hold on was gone- replaced by animalistic fury. Ren roared in frustration and turned fully towards Poe, forcing him straight off the bridge. “No!” You yelped and dove across the bridge, slamming hard against the side wall. You reached your left arm out so hard you felt it pop, catching Poe with the force in the nick of time. The pilot looked up at you, hair and eyes wild. You breathed heavily against the stone wall, leftover tears slipping over the bridge of your nose and down to where he hovered. The two of you made eye contact, not verbally speaking- but it wasn’t needed. Poe’s slight smile was crooked and brimming with relief, both for the fact that he was alive and you were still very much yourself. You simply looked at him with tense eyebrows and a less happy expression that read, ‘I’m glad you’re proud of yourself, but this isn’t over.’ Loud steps sounded to your right and you tightened your grip on the commander. “Let. Him. Go.” Kylo said from behind you, the hum of his lightsaber mingling with his voice. “No.” You set your mouth in a sharp, determined frown, keeping your eyes on Poe. You couldn’t see what was going on behind you- but the pilot could. Kylo stood behind you with his lightsaber level, dangerously close to your back. You were coming with him no matter what- even if he had to chop off a few limbs in the process. The commander’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, his hands searching for his gun… which was still on the bridge. He looked back up at you, eyebrows set low. “Drop me.” “No.” “Drop me!” “No!” you yelled back, expression wild. “I won’t do it!” “Then I guess I’ll do it for you.” Kylo sneered- and then drove his spitting lightsaber deep into your shoulder. You screamed in pain, the sound ripping through Poe’s heart like a sharp bullet of blaster fire. The pilot dropped a couple feet, for a moment completely unsupported as you lost your grip. You cried out and reached farther, again catching the commander. Kylo seethed as he watched you, your arm sizzling softly as you struggled. “Let me go!!” Poe exclaimed, trying desperately to get you to listen to him. The next time Ren hurt you… it might not be as survivable. You shook your head, pressing your finger nails into your thumb. Losing him- you couldn’t… you couldn’t do it. Poe saw it in your expression, the deep stubbornness that he knew was never going away. Unfortunately, Kylo knew that too. “Fine.” The Supreme Leader hefted his lightsaber and then stabbed you hard in the side, twisting. A guttural bellow ripped open your clenched teeth and you arched backwards, blinding pain streaking up your side. That’s when you realized. Poe was gone.

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ya-boi-hawkeye · 7 years ago

Text

Personal

It had started out simple enough, just a walk through the woods near the base to clear her head and calm her nerves. Ren was more wired than usual and it was making her tense. When Ren was on edge he tended to lash out, and she didn’t want to be in the way when he did.

She had been walking for maybe around a half hour when she came across it. A small tombstone in front of a slab of stone, with the name ‘Han Solo’ carved into it. The grave, empty though it must have been, has a presence about it, a strong one, and for a moment Ursa was lulled by it, held transfixed.

She only moved when she sensed Ren, his signature just as chaotic as it had been earlier, coming towards her. It occurred to her that this was the grave Finn had mentioned, the one Ren refused to allow most near, and Ursa panicked, climbing up into a tree and masking her signature.

Ren stopped in front of the grave, his shoulders sagging as he sighed. He looked like he wanted to say something but was struggling, and instead he just dropped do his knees, heedless of any damage the stone would do.

To the best of Ursa’s knowledge, people usually spoke when at graves. But Ren just knelt there, looking at the stone, and slowly his signature calmed. After an hour of silence Ren stood and left, and Ursa was finally free to make her escape.

—–

It occurred to her, both in the moment and long after, that she had intruded upon something deeply personal. She knew she would need to tell Ren, but kept running into the issue of not knowing how he would respond.

Or, rather, she knew exactly how he was likely to respond. He was likely to kill her for her transgression. Han Solo was not a subject which could be brought up lightly, even before the man’s death. Ursa had witnessed something intimate and personal, and Ren could easily kill her for it.

But as the day passed, and her guilt did not leave, Ursa found herself left with no choice but to tell Ren. She waited until he was near the edge of the base, and alone, before she approached him, the blood rushing in her ears.

“Give me your lightsaber,” Ursa said, holding out her hand. Ren looked at her for a moment, skeptical.

“Why?” He asked, taking the weapon off his hip, though he didn’t hand it over.

“Because I have something serious I need to tell you,” Ursa said. “And I don’t trust you armed.” The skepticism on his face changed to concern, then quickly to the start of anger. His grip on his weapon tightened, his thumb ghosting over the switch, but he held it out none the less.

Ursa reached forward, gripped the saber, and a flash of something, halfway between a borrowed memory and pure imagination, came to life inside her mind, of Han Solo’s last moments, and with a strangled scream she pulled the blade away from Ren and hurled it into the woods behind him.

Smooth, Ursa thought, trying to ignore the hammering of her heart, the tremor of her own breath. Now you look completely insane.

Ren watched the blade as it flew through the air before his attention snapped back to Ursa, his eyes hard.

“What did you do?” He asked, voice far too level for the anger she could sense coming off him. He took a step forward and Ursa took two back, intimately aware that he could kill her even without his saber. He was just as much a weapon as his blade was.

“It was an accident,” Ursa said, crossing her arms in an attempt to find some sort of control. “I want to make that clear that I had no intention of doing what I did.”

“What. Did. You. Do?” With every word he took another step towards her, and she took another one back, until he had soon cornered her against a tree. She was starting to regret doing this alone.

“I saw the grave,” she said. “The other day I went for a walk through the woods and saw the grave.” She swallowed. “And then I saw you at it. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get away at the time without you catching me, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react to my presence, so I hid. And it occurs to me that I invaded something personal so I’m sorry.”

“You’re…sorry…” There was a split second of clarity in which Ren realized that it was probably very smart of Ursa to toss his lightsaber.

That clarity was short-lived under the sudden, instinctive surge of pure rage.

She should have brought someone with her. A nice, safe buffer like Rey, or Finn, or probably Chewbacca maybe? Someone who would be able to prevent Ren from killing her, because Ursa had a general impression that he was going to kill her.

And true to form Ren didn’t even need his lightsaber; the Force closed around her throat in a sensation that was all too familiar. She wondered if it was a secondary protocol instinct for him now—in the event that lightsabering control panels isn’t viable, reach out and choke Ursa.

It probably was, the kriffing dick.

Fortunately for Ursa—or unfortunately considering your perspective—she wasn’t new to this reaction, so it was relatively easy to suppress her fight reflex. It was also easy to suppress her flight instinct, and at the moment she was putting all of her eggs in the freeze basket hoping that it would pay off. Hoping that Ren wouldn’t take it too far, wouldn’t actually try to kill her.

But the pressure on her throat increased, airflow slowly pinching out like a hole patched with poly-seal.

She let her Force signature dwindle before it completely winked out, eyes watering and face no doubt a particularly bright shade of red. Ursa couldn’t breathe, could feel the pressure of a phantom hand around her neck as Ren watched her unblinking.

“R……en….” It came out with a rough wheeze, her vision starting to fuzz as black creeped along the edge.

And then she dropped, like a sack of bricks, just on the verge of passing out.

“Shit.” It came out like a guttural snarl, and out of the corner of her eye Ursa could see that he had started pacing. “You weren’t supposed to see that. Why did you—”

I didn’t mean too, you kriff-ass. She thought, sucking in a quick, deep breath, lungs burning. Fuck hole.

She could tell, through the jerking pause of his stomps, that he heard her thoughts. Which was good because that was exactly what Ursa had intended.

“It was an… accident.” He cycled again, speaking more to himself than her.

Which was fine by Ursa, who at this point was just trying to catch her breath.

Ren was… conflicted.

Ren was always conflicted, actually, but this was on a whole new level.

On the one hand, he was really pissed. Livid even. It felt like—no matter how accidental—Ursa had intruded on something incredibly private.

Visiting his—visiting Han’s grave always left him feeling torn open, vulnerable.

He hated being vulnerable, and the thought of somebody else seeing it, even Ursa—especially Ursa who has seen him low before—triggered every violent instinct he had.

On the other hand, it was an accident. She had said as much, and it said a lot about the sincerity of her feelings that she had been straightforward and honest about her apology. Which was unlike Ursa, really, who was prone to hoarding her secrets like a shifty dragon.

Which was why he hadn’t taken it too far—which was one of the reasons he hadn’t taken it too far.

Ren knew that he was prone to overreacting, knew that he had a horrible track record of lashing out in a fit of rage, and doing something utterly unrevokable. And he cared about Ursa, as much as he might be loathe to admit it; she was the closest thing to a best friend that he had now.

And yet look at her.

He could hear her thoughts, still angry and buzzing and filled with such profanity as befitting a bounty hunter of her caliber. He had gotten close, could have done serious damage, and the anger was cut sharply with guilt.

“I’m.” He jerked to a stop again, facing the blonde. “I’m sorry.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” She croaked, the reproach undeniable.

He let out a sigh, lips twitching into the slightest hint of a smile. “Still sorry.”

This was the keystone of their relationship, as unhealthy as it might seem; they had been Snoke’s dogs of war, they really only knew how to communicate with barbed words and sharp strikes. There was a fine line between what was really too far, and they’d both crossed it once or twice and still turned out okay. Hopefully this would be just another notch.

“I hate you.” She reached up to take his outstretched hand with a groan, allowing herself to be pulled up. “Like so, so much.”

“You tossed my lightsaber into the woods, I have to find it now.” He pointed out with a scoff.

“So much.” She repeated with a roll of the eyes, pausing slightly to look up at him. “Are… we good?”

A loaded question, given everything that still laid between them, but in this… “I’m still upset, but I know you didn’t do it on purpose. That is, perhaps, your saving grace.”

He reached over, shoving her ever so gently. “We’re good.”

Ursa nodded at that, her hand reaching up to her throat. “Good. Good. Uh. I’d offer to help you find your saber, but, you know, fuck you pendejo.”

Ren snorted a laugh as she flipped him off, watching as she cut back through the woods.

#bitch we are all of us.....conflicted #unreliable narrator is unreliable #ren is a questionable friend #don't choke your friends kids unless it's an expressly negotiated kink.#loaded with sin #theload #submission

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endeavorsreward · 8 years ago

Text

Excerpt (Location Indeterminate)

Morning in Lionel, and Beowulf Cadmus was screaming.

He knew that the screams came before waking; Aliste had told him as much before. But this day, he was not in the Gryphon barracks, nor some village inn out in the wilds. This day he was in a woman's bed, a well-carved four-poster with fresh clean sheets, and he knew even as his eyes opened, as his night terrors emerged in something like a bestial roar, that he had woken the woman as well, and so his horror became a multivaried affair, the usual fear co-minging with the knowledge that this woman, this extraordinary woman, would dart from the bed in fright.

Instead, she grabbed him from behind and held him, tight, until the screaming stopped. It took some time, and it ended in gasping shudders, but it did. Beowulf never cried—the damned had no right of tears—but one could be forgiven for mistaking his raspy breath for sobbing. They stayed that way for a time, her arms around his bare chest, her face pressed warm and dry into his back, until he finally he chanced to look back over his shoulder at her, this woman he met only a day earlier.

She gave him sober eyes in exchange. Concerned, yes, but not fretful. The sheets covered only to her waist, but her long auburn hair fell down far past her chest and provided her with modesty with which she seemed entirely unconcerned. The sun’s rise was split apart by the muntins in the bedroom window, and scales of light danced across her face as she studied him quietly. As they studied each other.

“I believe it would be fairness to ask after that terror’s origin,” she finally said, “but also I believe it would be fairness if you are not ready to speak of it.”

He exhaled a breath he did not know he was holding, turned away to haul up his breeches. “You remain as ever unflappable; I daresay explanation is more than owed.”

He could feel her shrug without witnessing it. “A halfaday’s time entitles me not to all a man’s secrets. A fear that comes to a courageous man in the night, it is a matter of trust.”

He padded barefoot over to the window, braced against it with both fists. “You’d bed a man who did not trust you?”

“You chose to bed a woman before finding out,” she replied through a satisfied grin.

He swung the window open. It was spring and the air was brisk but not unpleasant, even in a state of undress. He felt his stomach settle and turned back to her. She was calmly running a brush through her hair. “You are unlike any woman I’ve ever known.”

“’Tis no compliment,” she said dryly, “To lay the rest of my sex low, ere I even believed you knew much of women before now.”

Beowulf frowned and shook his head. “I have served with women strong, with women wise, and with women true. In truth’s name I have known women fair, as well. But I’ll not renounce my words. If I’ve only not yet made acquaintance of other women of your disposition, let me instead frame it in matters ineffable.”

And so Reis Duelar put down her brush and frowned. “You speak of love then, Beowulf? I refuse it. You do not yet know me, and I’ll not dwell upon your pedestal long before my feet tire.”

“I...” He flinched as if struck. “What has this been, then, if not love?”

“Nothing I regret, for certain.” Reis beckoned him with one hand. “Tell me your story, then, if you’re willing.”

He did not return to the bed, to her arms, no matter how his body yearned. Instead he took one of the bed posts in his hand and leaned. “I oft recall in the night the hunts I’ve completed. At times exaggerated, even such that I can see not only those I’ve killed but their families, erupting from the ground to swallow me whole. A great Hell underground into which I fall, fires hotter than those we endured yesterday. Great skeletons bleached and gleaming in the dark.”

“You speak not of humans, but of beasts.” Reis reached out, wrapped her hand around his where it held the post. “I bore witness to the truth of you in the moments following our meeting yesterday.”

It was only past noontime when they met. Beowulf was standing with two other men of God in the town square, and he was watching as one put his boot to a peasant’s neck.

It was the dragoon, Abel, who was pressing down on the heretic, a nasty little grin sneaking free and then retreating again and again. It was said that someone out in the eastern farmlands had set up a pagan chapel in a barn, and that attendance was growing. This would be a death sentence in any land in Ivalice, but to do so in Lionel, and to do so in the shadow of Balias Tor, no less, was blasphemous to such a degree that the Templars had not left it to the Cardinal to police his own land. Beowulf was wondering to himself how something could be more or less heretickal—how something could be an affront to God by degree—when he caught a judgmental look from the third of the men of the cloth assembled. Loffrey Wodring raised his eyebrows silently. Beowulf was ostensibly there as representative of the Gryphon Knights, but it was a rather open secret that he was being considered for membership to the Templars. This was, then, to prove to be his initiation.

The peasant was bawling and scrabbling in the dirt as Abel asked his questions. A crowd had gathered, gawping, and had strangled shut the exits from the town square, still giving them a wide berth. Loffrey sort of... tilted his head, allowing Beowulf to interpret.

Aliste was the cynical one, the one who whispered in the dark that no small part of the church’s stance on paganism had more to do with politics, with Prince Lennard’s grand speeches regarding the holy land of Bervenia, of Glabados. Beowulf was a man of stronger faith—it was why he was here, now, at the side of two Templar knights, being considered for a tabard. Probably yellow, if they let him choose. His favorite color, the color of his mother’s dresses, of chocobo plumage, of the flowers that grew outside the chapel.

He was meant to break this man. Perhaps literally, perhaps not, but break him indeed until he told them something of use. If he even knew. But what happened instead was that a woman pushed through the crowds with the force of a cannonball. Beautiful, in a dress of white and blue and pink, displaying for all the world the most perfect pair of shoulders that Faram had ever sculpted for a Hume. She stomped up to a distance of five or six feet from their assemblage before Loffrey placed a hand on his sword’s hilt. She halted then, wisely, but for all the world did not look afraid.

“What has this man done?” She asked, and Abel rolled his eyes.

“Begging your pardon, milady, but he’s under suspicion for heresy, so if you’d kindly...”

“Heresy?” She looked aghast. “But that’s Slippery Dane Milch you have.”

Loffrey was implacable. “The Milch farmstead is one of a number that are suspected of...”

“Are not church men meant to be lettered?” She was incredulous. “You surely seek Backside Dane Milch, who owns the farmland! The brothers haven’t spoken in a score!”

Abel did not lift his boot, but he looked unsure. “Their names are both Dane?”

“’Twas a family of six, and all four boys were called Dane,” she said with finality.

“Stand him up,” Loffrey barked, and took a step towards her. She lifted her chin to meet his eyes. “We’ll maintain his bondage until such time as this has been sorted. But you claim to know overmuch about the peasantry for a woman of Quality.”

“She knows everyone in town!” shouted someone from the crowd, and she actually blushed.

Loffrey looked at Beowulf, who in turn looked away in shame. He was so often engaged at the castle, or sent out in Delacroix’s name, that he in fact knew very few people in the town proper.

“How’s that, then?” asked Abel, and the woman scowled at him.

“I...”

“Fire!” shouted someone, and then “Fire!” shouted someone else, and the crowd exploded in panic all at once. Smoke was unfurling from a nearby house, thick and black and fast, and people were beginning to trample one another.

Beowulf did not hesitate then, did not look to the two Templars, just shouted “control the panic!” and launched himself forwards, over Slippery Dane, over a pair of toppling seamstresses, and then over a planter (yellow flowers) and an overturned wagon, through the surging mass of people, up the roadway to where a bakery was consuming itself in flames. And then he saw that the woman from the square had not only beat him to building, he’d only just arrived to see her already throwing her weight against the door, breaking it open and falling into the fire.

Someone had started pumping water—he felt someone throw a well-bucket of water at him even as he smashed the shop window with the pommel of his sword, one gauntlet over his face as the fire surged out towards him. Then he vaulted in after the woman.

She was nowhere to be found on the shop floor. He had a single moment of absurdity, a thought that the place should smell like bread, or at least the toasting of it, before he was pushing past the counter and up the building’s back stairs. The ground floor was built from stone, but everything above was wooden, likely added later, and rundown. It was going up like tinder. He dodged a falling beam and wrapped his cape over his mouth and nose, searching.

He found the woman in a bedroom farthest back. In her arms was an infant, and she was shouting at an elderly woman who seemed resistant. When she realized she’d been followed, she turned.

“I can only carry them both if she cooperates! But she’ll not ride upon my back!”

“Is anyone else here?” He shouted back, and she whipped her head back and forth. There would be time enough for answers when they weren’t in danger of the floor giving way beneath them. He picked up the old woman, who was shouting curses at him all the while, and he and the woman both turned to leave when the roof caved in above the stairwell, blocking the way back.

“Here!” She shouted, darting to one side. He could do naught but follow, as she led the way to a window no bigger than two-by-two handlengths. She kicked out with slipper-shod foot at the wall beneath, but it did not groan. Beowulf was much larger and wearing armor. He kicked the rotten, burning wood in turn and it gave way, opening the wall enough to see a roof some distance away.

“You’ll have to go first,” she said.

“I cannot leave you to--”

“I cannot catch you!”

Sounder logic he’d never heard. He’d also never make the jump while carrying the crone who even then kicked at him. He lowered her, said a prayer, and then jumped. He saw the old woman fighting with this stranger who failed to blink at blaze and sword alike, and then she shoved the old woman out. Beowulf was so startled he almost failed to catch her, but thank Faram he did.

And then it was her turn, infant child in her arms, and she leapt—and for a moment, seemed to fly. Sun at her back, flames at her feet, and the angels carried her down to him.

If he held her a second too long, it was only that they both gazed down at the child, who cooed and smiled as if this had all been a grand mummery for his benefit. Then they turned to see each other, faces too close, and she favored him with the same smile. He lowered her quickly.

The hour to follow brought answers. The old woman had set the fire, and it was not clear if it was grief or dementia that guided her hand, but she’d little thought for the child who’d die with her. The parents had come to see the inquisition and she’d taken her chance while it existed. Slippery Dane had... slipped away... in the confusion, and Abel had pursued, but the injuries amongst the townsfolk had been minimal. Loffrey had offered a single respectful nod before leaving to join the pursuit. It so happened that the four Danes were all but identical, and Beowulf suspected there would be a further comedy of errors to follow. He could only hope that if it were to end in bloodshed, that at the least the right Dane would lose his head.

And the woman’s name was Reis. Her parents had passed away when she was scarcely of age, and she’d been too gregarious to remain shut away behind the manor gates. He was grateful that the Templars had left so quickly, that they did not hear the citizens call her “the Angel of Lionel” in all sincerity, for such idolatry might be less than amusing in Delacroix’s own home. She’d walked amongst the people for years, too curious and too delighted to be denied. She’d waited tables and mended clothes, taught letters and bandaged knees. Never in presumption, just by virtue of being present and offering a hand for a day, or a week. Never for coin, because coin she had, and station enough to live, even in obscurity.

She was covered in ash and soot and looked radiant. In all the years to follow, that would be the vision of her that would stay with him the surest, the remains of fire at her lips and fingertips. He escorted her home. The yellow flowers were her favorite, too. They had tea, and then they had spirits. They’d bathed the ash from each other’s faces, and then further. Laughing all the while. It had seemed the most natural thing in the world. And even now, in the light of day, with his cape draped over a chair and the herald of the Gryphon Knights staring back at him, he hadn’t a regret.

And when he’d woken screaming, she’d held him until the shudders ceased.

“You are such a serious man,” she said. “Serious even in your joy.”

“Have you ever beheld a dragon?” he asked her, and she shook her head. He slowly eased down to a seat on the bed. “They are beautiful, in their way. Almost... elegant. To slay a cockatrice is nothing, or a behemoth. A matter of skill, or arms, or numbers, but they are wild. A dragon has light in its eyes, it knows things beyond our ken.”

“You sound like you’ve come from a storybook.” She poked him with toes from beneath the sheets.

“In truth, the knight from whom I learned the trade, Ser Gauwyn, might well have been such, by his noble bearing and wisdom. But not I. Not every kill I’ve made was so fraught. I’ve severed the heads of a hydra that had charged a village, had blood in its maws, and not felt guilt. But I’ve taken club to eggs; I’ve entered caves where the beasts slept and opened their underbellies before they could wake. And I oft welcome it, for it keeps me instead from hunting my own kind.” He looked towards the open window, where there was a flutter of bird wings. “It shall be my penance to bear a knight’s arms until death grants me leave to retire. When that day comes, no Templar shall perish, but a hell-bound hunter of dragons.”

Reis took his hand. “I did not see it in full before now, how it eats you to raise the blade at all.”

“Should it not?”

“Aye, it should.” She took his chin with her other hand and turned it to her. “But you are no fool, Beowulf Cadmus, that thinks all knights feel the same. Better a hunter of dragons than a Templar, if those were your choices only. But they needn’t be.”

“I welcome your faith, Reis.” Beowulf’s eyes wavered. She did not relinquish his face, but her eyes were yet hard to meet. “But I’m not certain I’ve the gift for aught else.”

She did not argue the point; they’d only met a day ago. “Then find at least something for which raising your blade feels righteous.”

“A search that will be delayed,” he said with a sigh. “For I’m sent on the morrow to Romanda.”

“So far, for the Cardinal?”

“A lord there named Hrothgar, who has been a friend to the church.” He gently took her hand away from his chin. “To be sure there is more to it, but I’ve little mind for politicking. And what of you?”

“What of me? I’ll live here, as I always have.” She gave him a sly look. “Do you intend to ask me to wait for you at that open window?”

“I suspect you wait for little that you do not already want.”

“Then know for the time being, I will wait, Beowulf Cadmus. I think I’ve already been waiting.” She embraced him, and he her, and Lionel continued to move outside without them. “But that is tomorrow. And in the fullness of truth, my feet are not yet tired.”

And in another day’s time he was riding. Many days travel, up north past Zaland, west to Gariland, north into Fovoham. Near the Galgastan border, in a small village north of Yardrow, a rider caught up to him with a missive that he did not open, a letter from Mullonde. He did not open it all the time riding through the northern wastes, past burnt-out villages, the remains of plague tents and mass graves. Not until he’d left port on a boat for Romanda did he tear its edge and free the sheet which only bore a spare few lines from Loffrey. He was to be a Templar of Mullonde.

And by the time he’d returned from Hrothgar’s hall, a second pair of eyes had fallen upon Reis, cold eyes, and for all the grand days yet to come between them, in many ways it was already too late.

#Excerpts #Beowulf #Reis #Loffrey #Abel #Tactics #FFT #FF Tactics

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