#Also I’m not white or straight or normal so that affects how I write these characters too

[articroses]

I feel weird writing this big massive action crossover shounen-ish fanfic because the action / fighting is cool, but I’m focusing more on the impact fighting the big bad has on these child protagonists, especially since they can’t depend on adult characters (more or less). It becomes a bit more realistic (and I guess, “dark and edgy”) to focus on not just physical aspects but mental aspects of their health affected.

I feel like it’s expected of me to write one of the characters dog-walking one of the big bad villains which is whatever, I like that too, but that’s an individualistic sort of approach that goes against the theme I want to set with having bonds that prevent those big battles from happening in the first place (or at least, one person carrying the burden of fighting for everyone, while everyone else is cheering in the background and that is considered the team effort like, I really don’t think a singular hero and his background posse of cheerleaders is team effort guys😭). Basically, those big bad fights aren’t exactly a good thing. It’s like cigarette smoking, cool to see but really not good to do.

This is a huge ramble when I’m just saying expect your expectations to be subverted lol.

Like I do write for me, yes! But I don’t share my fic for me, so it’s a bit weird like I’m in the audience, having my own thoughts / ideas on how this fic will go, but then I turn around to see the rest of the audience expecting something entirely different.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume meta 6x10

Costume metas are back baby!!!! I’m so happy to be back writing these - you have no idea how much i missed writing them. This one is not quite as full on as my normal metas and has taken me far longer than I’d intended - if you’ve been following my posts over the last couple of days you will be fully aware of my insanity spiral over the Eddie of it all (as well as poker Buddie!) so I hope you’ll forgive me - I’ve not had the mental capacity I normally do to dedicate to costume spiralling!

No Eddie this week as he only appeared in uniform 😭 

A couple of more general things to point out - the use of Check - we see it on Nathaniel Greene and Phillip Buckley - which I think is a very interesting and loud choice considering this episode was all about fathers and fatherhood and the two fathers who are not all that (Mr Han is also in that number but his grey on grey suit was a deliberate choice that I will talk about in a minute) are the ones wearing check and tapping right on into my check theory!!! So Nathaniel is going to find himself in hot water very soon so the check is foreshadowing this for him. Philip (and Margaret as well actually!) in check is also foreshadowing whatever is about to go down with the Buckley parents (that happy family facade they’ve been putting on is about to crack big time!).

Grey is one of those colours that can be either warm grey (like we often see on Buck) or cool grey (which we have here on Mr Han) and that affects which meanings you attribute to it. Mr Han in double grey just about sums him up as a person - cold, conservative and controlling. Its also a colour that conveys gloom and frustration when worn in multiple like this, there is also the fact that ill people are often described as looking grey - which leads me to think that Mr Han being terminally ill is actually very likely!

The other thing I want to point out is the red harnesses - I know I don’t talk about the uniforms all that much except when there is something important an interesting in relation to them and this is very much that! Chim, Buck and Eddie are the ones we see in the red belt harnesses. Chimney removes his after Buck stakes his claim on it being his turn to go up the ladder and Chimney steps back from ladder detail. The reason I point this out is because its a very bright visual way of identifying and connecting both the fact that Chimney also has a red string of fate connected to Buck (I’m talking about family here and I know that technically all the firefam have strings of fate connecting them, but in this specific incidence its about the brotherly connection - the parallel to Kevin and Albert) which is relevant at that first moment but then the focus needs to shift. Eddie and Buck become the only ones distinguishable in the pouring rain - the only ones tied by that red string of fate - even when (and especially) when Buck is on the gurney.

over to our mains - below the cut to save your dashes!

Athena and May

I’m doing the two of them together this week because they are the costume version of yin and yang!

The silk blouse has a monstera leaf print - monstera symbolises suffocation in western culture which is a perfect symbol for this story arc - suppressing of evidence or information because of money etc. the use of navy red and white is also interesting - its very much a hint towards patriotism - a deliberate choice to play into the upperclass America vibe they’re claiming to be part of! 

Mays two main costumes are costumes themselves - they aren’t representative of who May is or her character, the are the clothes of the character she’s playing - Jada. As outfits for Jada - they are very much playing to type - teenager with issues who’s rebelling against straight laced parents - Both Athenas and Mays outfits work perfectly in sync with each other as the anthesis of the other. Mays are both in the same tonal range - burnt dusty reds, washed out blue greys and beiges - all in the same colour spectrum as Athenas ‘costume’ but tonally at the oposite end - where mays are dark and muted, Ahtenas are bright and bold

in the middle of the undercover work we get a reminder of who they really are - Athenas generally more muted palette - her comfort colour choices of black and olive khaki green, while May is back in her bold and bright blocks of colour. Perfectly summing up that while Athena is playing a role that is not a million miles away from who she is (and channeling a bit of Beatrice in the process because that blouse is a Beatrice blouse in every way!), Athena also tends to wear the olive khaki colour on top when she’s investigating something outside of work - and by this I don’t just mean full blown investigating, I also mean low key - clocking something is going on with a member of the extended firefam and she’s paying attention. May is at the opposite end of the spectrum from Jada! I’ve talked about May wearing this sugary bright pink before in season 5 and the scene here is somewhat of a parallel to the one in 5x15- youthful and considered feminine but also compassionate and caring. It is sensitive and intuitive. All things we see in this scene - May is using her intuition about Tamara and her being a ‘weak link’ that will get some information. We also see her showing compassion for Bobby in this scene.

Bobby

keeping it simple for Bobby this week - just the one outfit and its supposed to essentially blend in with his uniform - we see him working on things related to the wildfire that Wendell died in both at the station while in actual uniform, and then at home with Athena and May (as an aside the fact that we see bobby with his family esp his stepdaughter and then with Buck and no other members of the fire fam is very telling!!) - it’s all signalling Bobby is in work mode even when he’s at home.

Hen

If there was ever a cardigan to signal the fact that Hen is puzzled by Denny’s behaviour and new interests - this one is very definitely it - it literally has neutral face emojis all over it 😐😐😐 which are often used to convey mild irritation and concern - both things Hen is clearly feeling in this scene. Red is also a colour associated with both anger and and love - we know Hen loves Denny, but its very likely that there will be anger down the line when she discovers what Denny has been up to. This jumper also fits with my check theory - it is a big checkerboard - so its foreshadowing for the upcoming Denny issues!

I’m going to say something here which is being used as a narrative device - Hen is wearing maroon, because she is in the ‘male’ or ‘father’ parent role at this moment - I don’t prescribe to the concept of queer parents fitting into gender stereotypes of parenting (that theres a fatherly one and a motherly one!) nor do I believe sport is a fathers domain but in this particular instance the wardrobe team are playing into a costume theme they’ve developed - namely that maroon is the colour worn when (mostly male) characters are being fatherly in someway. It is implied in this scene and the one in the firehouse, that Hen is the one who has been the one mostly supporting Denny in his sporting interests - football (sorry soccer - Im British its football 😂) initially and now she wants to be supportive in his baseball interest. 

Not a costume thing, but I think its interesting and its costume adjacent, but I love the fact they’ve chosen two very different sports - one played with hands, the other with feet and the one Denny is taking up is the one where curveballs are a thing!

Denny

Or should I be calling him ‘D’?? 

we have this blue and black shirt - I have to confess my brain went off in 6 different directions on this one. Firstly there is the fact that its not that disimilar to what Christopher is wearing when Eddie catches him talking to his friends online late at night - the colours are different but the use of patterning is similar and the fact that Chris and Denny have paralleling story arcs is very 👀👀 It also ties Denny in with Hen as she also wears a lot of patterning similar to this. then there is the fact its black and blue - what is the first thing you think of when you say black and blue - being beaten up - potentially foreshadowing - not necessarily for a physical beating, more likely for the psychological bruising ahead. there is also the Rorschach test and camouflage elements as well. All in all its a shirt that speaks of secrecy pyschological trauma and trouble ahead!

This tee has me feeling all levels of insane. We have green for growth and renewal- its a bright green too, so its really reenforcing that idea. Then there is the design - a leopard in a jungle setting which is so many metaphors all rolled into one - the obvious ones of the jungle being dangerous, leopards not changing their spots and hiding in pain sight. But there are a few others - camouflage, the fact that leopards are nocturnal and solitary, they are also opportunistic. Then theres the jungle - jungles as well as being dangerous places, are also dense and in places impenetrable, they are overgrown and tangled. All of these things speaks volumes about what is going on with Denny right now, and the fact that he’s getting himself deeper and deeper into the jungle where opportunistic animals are waiting to strike. It a really clever use of imagery in graphic tee design to convey information and its something the show does a lot with the kids clothing!

Chimney

some really interesting stuff going on with Chimney in this episode - namely the fact that he’s wearing check - all the time, as well as the fact we get him in this lovely burnt orange colour!

Starting with the check - I’ve said it a million times and I’ll probably say it a million more, but the check is foreshadowing trouble ahead - in this instance its the unexpected arrival of the Han’s. The button down shirt under the jumper is maroon and burnt orange check - maroon is the colour of fatherhood in 911 verse so the maroon is a nod to that, both the fact that Chimney is a father (and a good one), but also that his father is the trouble ahead! While the orange - well orange is the colour of optimism, enthusiasm and emotional strength - the perfect colour for Chim in this scene - he’s being optimistic about what having the Buckleys to visit will be like - that together he and Maddie can get through anything. This opening outfit for 6b also shows us that Chim is in a much stronger place - things are going well for him - life is good and that has given him confidence and placed him in a better place emotionally.

then we get this blue check button down shirt - its light blue and a darker blue, and again the check is portending doom. I don’t want to make this all about Buck, (becasue it isn’t) but, the fact we see Chim in a blue check specifically while the Buckleys and Hans argue over Bucks sperm donation is super interesting. Its not only foreshadowing that Buck - who is also in blue, is about to come to harm in the place that was very nearly chimneys (as inBuck going up the ladder instead of Chim). It is also hinting at the fact that Chimney and his father (who is incidentally also in a blue shirt) are on a collision course. This check is about foreshadowing the two opposite disasters/ issues heading Chimneys way - the fact that he is about to potentially lose a brother - and one that has taken the place he was supposed to be in. That Chimney is going to have to reckon with the guilt and grief that causes - making this shirt about Chim’s connection to Buck but also connected to the idea of another man raising a child - much of Chimneys trauma stems from that very issue - he was raised by Mr Lee, had Kevin who was a brother in all but blood - who died in a work related accident and now he’s going to go through the same thing with Buck. the whole thing is setting up for Chimneys trauma to come and hit pretty hard - which all goes back to his own blood father - which is why we see Buck and Sang in the two very different blues and chimney in the check of both of them.

Maddie & Jee-Yun

Maddie going for full on black is such a choice! Black is a power colour, its sophisticated and mysterious, while also being authoritative and protective. It is also a colour of rebirth which is really important here for Maddie. This is a Maddie who is in the best possible place right now, but her choice to wear all black for the arrival of her parents is all about her wanting to but on a display of power while at the same time protecting herself and her family (Chim, Jee and Buck) its very much fake it till you make it - its not necessarily about her having power/control (which she does), but about the appearance of it.

This is about her rebirth as a person and as a mum and her showing that rebirth to those who have judged her in her life. 

the purple suit and bright blue top are an interesting choice. The jewel tones exude happiness and contentment. I’ve spoken before about how we often see characters in these brighter versions of colours when they’re in a good place or having fun (think of the times we’ve seen Athena in bright jewel colours, or even Buck) and here we see Maddie embracing that her daughter is having fun with her grandparents and her family is all together and not fighting or distant from one another - don’t forget this is likely the fist time she has experienced this ever. The purple blazer is in line with other things we’ve seen on Maddie this season - we’ve seen her in bright purple before. Purple is a really interesting choice to me because so much of its meaning is connected to mystery, but also the understanding of ones self better, building and strengthening emotional connections to our deepest thoughts and desires. its such a choice for this scene - the happy family Maddie wants, has wanted all her life and hasn’t had in her grasp until now, but also the Daniel of it all - that she is now free to talk about her brother, to share her knowledge of him and that she has been able to actually sit in her grief and come to terms with it. It’s a really powerful choice for her and speaks so much about how far Maddie has come.

Look I love love love what the show does with the kids clothes - its always so on point for the scene - and this Baby Jee tee is no exception. ‘Shapes I know’ - a literal point at the fact that families can look different - they come in different shapes and thats something Jee ‘knows’ and is experiencing. It’s literally one of the cornerstones of he show - that families look different and come in a multitude of shapes and sizes and in this scene the show is very much pointing out that the Buckley parents and Han parents don’t really understand that in any great depth. The Buckleys are only being supportive and nice when it suits them - when they’re in front of others and can be judged - creating a fantasy of a loving and supportive family to the outside world - while behind closed doors - they’re not really interested and are in fact the complete opposite. The Han’s have a very rigid view on family and that there is only one type of family (I’m expecting Sang Han to make some comment about Jee being born outside of marriage etc at some point) and anything that doesn’t conform to that isn’t acceptable.  

Buck

I so desperately wan to quiz the wardrobe department on the choice to have Buck in trousers that sit two inches above his ankle. 

You can’t see them in either of these pictures, but Buck is still wearing trousers far too short for his legs and its making me insane. I know Oliver has stupidly long legs, but its not like they don’t have the budget to get trousers made and tailored to fit him. I mean its been this way since season 2 and everything is intentional so they must have decided on it as a character thing but I for one cannot figure out what its supposed to tell us about him - the only thinking I’ve managed to come up with is that he’s stuck in this liminal space between child and adult - not really one or the other (because of the saviour baby and not knowing about it of it all) so its a play on the historic idea of breeching and short trousers! It’s literally the only reason I can think of as to why they would do this. Especially because the outfit he is wearing in his coma dream he’s wearing trousers that fit his leg length which only proves to me that its intentional!

If we see Buck figure things out this season and we then see him start wearing longer trousers going forwards - ones that are actually the right length for his legs I might actually ascend to the astral plane!!!

This green top continues the theme of seeing Buck in either blues or this light green shade - it echoes both the polo shirt from 6x07 when he made his donation, and the one he wore to the Ren Faire in 6x08 and continues to prove my theory about the use of these green shirts on Buck - the colour might not have gotten darker, but the fact its still the same light shade and we’ve had no further progress (in terms of where Buck is at mentally - the pregnancy is obviously progressing!) at this point in time - we know he’s wearing gree ni the coma - and its a darker/brighter shade - hinting that progress- growth etc is happening and that the coma will be the catalyst for that growth to start - I fully expect to see Buck in more green as the season progresses and to see it getting deeper and brighter as we go along.

I have so many thoughts about this dark navy blue shirt we see Buck wearing for the Buckley-Han showdown. Its yet more Buck in shades of blue - forget 50 shades of grey Buck is all about 50 shades of blue (I think were up to 12 blue tops now for him this season and the next highest colour he wears is green with 3)!!  theres the uniform aspect of it all - a bit like Bobby in this episode as well, but for Buck its almost like wearing the uniform gives him confidence and strength - superhero style - something he feels he needs to go through another experience with his parents. 

There is something to be said about the use of blues at opposite ends of the spectrum on Buck - from the light pastel blues to this dark navy almost black blue, almost like Buck is oscillating between where he’s at mentally - projecting confidence, reliability, loyalty and trustworthiness, while also suggesting that internally he is struggling - blue is also a colour depression and suppression. We have to remember that Buck is still trying to figure out who he is, what he wants and how to be at ease with himself and so the use of both dark and light blues speaks of the duality of Buck right now. I bring this up because looking back through my costume plots for each character its become obvious that this season its very much deliberate - all his blue outfits in previous seasons have been within a much smaller spectrum of colour - wearing blue but all similar in shade - tending toward bright blue or navies!

If you’ve made it to the end then I thank you - have a cookie on me 🍪🍪🍪 we all deserve them after that episode and we’re going to need out strength for next weeks!!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my deep dive ramblings on costume for 6x09 - drop me a reblog or a comment to let me see your thoughts - I love reading them!!

As always tagged people below - if anyone wants to be added (or removed from) to the list please let me know in the comments!

Until next week (when I have a feeling I might be being set up for a very very long meta post 😬😬😬) 

@mistmarauder @theladyyavilee @loveyourownsmiilee @leothil @girldadbuddie @kitkatpancakestack  @buckscurls @lemotmo @trashendence @elishareads  @clipboardsandstethoscopes @comfortbuddie @fiona-fififi  @callanee @calyssmarviss @pbandjeremiah @batgrldes  @spotsandsocks  @livingwherethesidewalkends  @idontshitpostbuttheolympicpark @diazboysbuckley @sweettsubaki @shortsighted-owl @sherlocking-out-loud @dickley-buddie  @favouritealias @hearteyesdiaz  @ktinastrikesback  @princesschez75 @bucksbuddie @oneawkwardcookie  @leatherat @moniquekatie @wanderingwomanwondering  @trickster-archangel @outrunningthedark @asharadaine @ajunerose  @talespinner230 @pop-kam @swiftiebuckleys @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @butchjerry @mandzuking17 @yelenasbuddie​ @copyninjabuckley​ @name-code-black-widow​​ @rogerzsteven​

[corevoid]

AAYYY some refs for my turts!! Still tryna work out a name for this au lmao. Rewrote the text under the cut, apologies for my atrocious handwriting ahddhhdjf

Really vague story synopsis: “villain” donnie au where he doesn’t become evil exactly but instead snaps and goes on a violent revenge quest to avenge the death of someone close to him. He believes he has to be the one to kill the one who did it, and leaves his family and becomes a sort of antagonist to them as well while they try to help him and bring him back so they can tackle this together.

I don’t know if I’m gonna make it a fic or if it’s just gonna live in my head lmao (motivation to write is sucks) but I’m definitely gonna be doing a good chunk of art for it :D

(ALSO IMPORTANT: their origin is very rise esque in that they were mutated with the intention of them being weapons. They have some genetic enhancements (pain tolerance and strength, most notably) and have some added dna from wolves and cats.)

(Also also forgot Mikey and Donnie’s flags they’re genderfluid and demiboy respectively)

Hamato Leonardo, 17 y/o, he/him, 5’9”

-Headphones are Bluetooth

-yellow pupil, tends to unnerve people

-most doglike of the 4, lets him pull some terrifying expressions

-in regards to knee brace, pain from an old break

-pure white nictitating membrane

-inferiority complex + anxiety

-most wolf dna of the 4, shows in snout and teeth. Behaviourally very doglike. Incredible sense of smell and hearing.

-quiet but not shy. Scarily observant.

-adorably polite, massive people pleaser

-the most hungry for his dads approval, has gotten him and his siblings in trouble trying to get it

-music enthusiast. Has a YouTube channel dedicated to making electronic remixes of literally everything under the sun (huge nerd)

Hamato Raphael, 17 y/o, he/she, 5’7”

-Alligator snapping turtle, second youngest

-plastron chip is as healed as it will get. Is what remains of a near complete left shoulder to right hip crack.

-chews his mask tails when he’s nervous

-red pupil, black band horizontally through iris

-files her spines down, back is flat and smooth

-strap on back for carrying a skateboard like Mikey has

-light bluish iridescence to his nictitating membrane

-kept the most turtle features through mutation out of the 4. Iris band, mostly intact beak, can’t process a lot of foods, higher skin/scales ratio, etc…

-hot headed + short fuse, but also good hearted and gentle

-self proclaimed protector of the family. Made it his duty to be the only killer after seeing how Leo’s first (and only) kill affected him.

-it affects Raph too, but she pretends it doesn’t (get this child therapy!) Only ever talks to Casey about this.

-incredible cook, but only cooks for family. Own diet is just a normal turtles and entirely raw. (Still sometimes eats stuff he shouldn’t as a treat)

-loves animals, mad she isn’t allowed a cat

Hamato Donatello, 17 y/o, he/they, 6’2”

-Spiny softshell, youngest but tallest sibling

-one end of staff is a flamethrower :)

-top compartment of battleshell also acts as storage!

-self conscious about their height

-flexible and very flat shell, spines are soft

-removed several spikes so his battleshell would fit more comfortably —> no longer allowed in his lab unsupervised

-yellow iridescence to their nictitating membrane

-shell doesn’t come up past their shoulders when he stands straight

-very quiet and rather shy, confident in his intelligence but not much else

-doesn’t speak often, and when they do it tends to be very succinct. It’s a special treat whenever they actively participate in a conversation

-Mikey is very special to him. Rarely ever see one without the other. Mikey frequently acts as Donnie’s voice, always knows exactly what he’s feeling and thinking (like twin telepathy pretty much)

-enitrely carnivorous, and a good hunter

-struggles to keep their animal nature separate from their human nature. Prone to slipping into a feral state, especially under stress, and is always feral during fights

-VERY self conscious and embarrassed by this, tries very hard to stay in a human mindset

-robotics hobbyist. Participates in robot fighting and currently holds champ title. Attends remotely via a metalhead-esque robotic body. His persona/stagename is Dondroid :)

Hamato Michelangelo, 17 y/o, any pronouns, 5’ even

-Ornate box turtle, second oldest but still the shortest

-doesn’t wear elbow pads 🤨

-very tall and round shell

-pink iridescence to her nictitating membrane

-heterochromia!

-excitable and energetic, but like in an easygoing sort of way

-VERY emotionally intelligent,can understand someone’s emotional state via vibes alone

-closest with Donnie, they understand eachother on an insanely deep level. Frequently acts as Donnie’s voice and is his primary support

-they’re the most human of the 4. He’s incapable of making the more animal sounds his siblings can and has to just approximate them with the voice box he has.

-she’s also the only warm blooded turtle. Makes them a prime hug target.

-An artist! Loves any 2d medium. Has an ongoing comic (6 books and counting) about a self insert superhero lol (her sidekick is based off Donnie, too)

[realm-sweet-realm]

Accretion, chapter 1

Hey, everyone. I’m not sure how far I’ll go with this story. This could be a 6-8 chapter story that will look at Team Galactic from its beginnings to the lives of those affected by it after its reformation under Saturn. I also reserve the right to just leave it as two relatively short chapters (was originally one chapter, but it got long) of Cyrus backstory if I choose to pursue other things.

I hope you all enjoy this.

---

Alba took a last look in her compact mirror before ringing the doorbell to sister’s immaculate home. She found that her appearance was also immaculate. Good. She wanted to look like she belonged here. Her son, Cyrus, was at her side, silent as usual and well-briefed on how he should behave. She knew that attempting to reconnect with her family would be Hell. She knew that they seemed to have ears all over Sinnoh and probably knew about the disaster her life had been the last while. But after so many years and so many missing invitations, she would take any face time she could get.

The door was answered by her brother, who gave her a look of surprise and then wordlessly shuffled back to a woman Alba didn’t recognize. Alba noticed he was wearing a wedding band. He’d gotten married without telling her. Great.

“Go play,” Alba whispered to Cyrus, who dutifully left her side. She had to figure out where the booze was before she lost her mind. She managed to find it amongst twenty-some guests and helped herself to the white wine.

“So, how is everything going, Alba?” came her sister’s voice once she was on her third glass.

Alba lowered the glass, flashed her biggest, fakest smile and said, “Wonderful. Everything is perfect. Now that Cyrus is in school, I’ve got a lovely new job with a big tech company. And since we have the extra money now, my husband and I are going to Kalos next year.”

Her sister arched an eyebrow. “You’re travelling with your husband? If things are going so well with him, why haven’t we ever met your husband? I heard that you were let go about the same time your little boy came into the picture. And that’s also when your husband tapped out, isn’t it?”

Alba took a deep breath and tried to think of an adequate answer. It wouldn’t help her case to say that things had gone downhill long before that and they definitely weren’t going to Kalos together.

From behind them, they heard the muffled sound of a child crying.

“Is that yours? Because it definitely isn’t mine,” her sister said.

“I’ll go set things straight,” Alba grumbled.

Alba downed her glass and made her way to the room most of the kids had cloistered themselves into for the night.  There were over a dozen of them in the relatively small playroom, and yes, the one crying was hers. She marched over and took his hand, ignored the chorus of kids insisting that they’d done nothing wrong, and dragged Cyrus outside. Once they were in privacy, she slapped him across the face. “You realize you’re making me look bad, right?” she said. “The people in there think I’m a joke, and you’re a big part of why. You’re lucky I even gave birth to you. Now get it together, get in there, play with your cousins, and act like a normal fucking kid for once.”

The little boy wiped away his tears. No sooner than his eyes were dry did she pull him by the arm back into the family gathering. It was too loud in there. Too many moving parts to keep track of, and too many ways he could mess up being a normal fucking kid. He snuck into a bedroom and closed the door.

Calm. Quiet. Better. He found an empty journal and thought he might as well write in it to pass the time.

My mom’s family is having a reunion today. She was very mad at me for crying and not playing with my cousins. I wonder why everyone else can just handle being around so much noise.

Cyrus paused and tried to figure out why that was, but he had no idea, and it was upsetting to think about. If he got upset, his mom would be mad. He focused back on writing.

Sometimes, when I’m sad, I like to think of my favourite place in the world. It’s a beautiful meadow where no one can see me. You can only get to it by a rocky path between the cliff face and the ocean off of Sunyshore beach. There’s an abandoned garage there, and that’s where my best friend lives. He prefers to stay away from others, but that’s alright. I don’t want anyone to hurt him or take him away from me, and this way I have a place that’s just my own.

---

Cyrus opened the door to the abandoned garage and threw his mom’s toolkit onto the workbench. School was out, his mom was out of town, and he had the whole day to himself. He turned to Rotom, who had followed him in after he had seen him coming through.

“Hey. Do you want something new to possess?“ Cyrus asked the little ghost. It buzzed excitedly.

“Great. Because I wanna figure out how those special motors work!”

With that, Cyrus scampered over to the lawnmower, flipped it over so the motor was exposed, and took to unscrewing the motor. Unfortunately, he had to take the motor apart to understand it. He’d taken things apart and put them back together before, but he still wasn’t going to take the risk of depriving Rotom of its mower without taking every precaution. After all, it was unlikely that anyone else would know how to repair it.

“Camera,” Cyrus requested.

Rotom tossed Cyrus his camera, and Cyrus took several pictures of the motor’s outside, capturing every angle.

“Screwdriver.”

Rotom tossed the tool, and Cyrus set to work dismantling the motor. He had Rotom take pictures with each stage of dismantling, and once it was reduced to parts, he followed the steps in reverse, putting it back together stage by stage. Once it was almost complete again, a question occurred to him.

“Do you think you can possess this now?” Cyrus asked. “It couldn’t function as a motor like this.”

Rotom approached the device with curiousity. It disappeared into it, and the device turned orange and gained the creature’s smile and blue eyes on its side. It shuffled towards him. It was probably the only motion such a crude form allowed him.

“Fascinating. This device... It can work as a motor, but it doesn’t have to. It’s more like a vessel for containing a soul. Which means that you can possess anything I attach one too, whether it actually uses a motor or not.” Cyrus paused to think over the implications of that. “So! What do you want to possess?”

The rotom left its vessel and jolted over to the chainsaw hanging in the corner.

Cyrus laughed. “You got it!”

It took hours to find the parts around the garage to replicate the motor, but Rotom was happy to help and Cyrus found it relaxing. Machines were amazingly simple. They acted predictably, they didn’t hurt others or judge them for stupid reasons, they didn’t get hurt easily, and if they didn’t work the way you want, you could just fix them.

“I wish I could be fixed this easily,” Cyrus mused as he replaced the chainsaw’s motor with the new one he’d crafted. It was rather crude-looking, but it looked like it would stay together. “If I were a machine, maybe my mom could turn me into what she wants me to be. And even if she chose to throw me away instead, I wouldn’t care, then. Anyone could treat me however they wanted and it wouldn’t matter at all. It would be nice.”

Cyrus could hear the buzz of his rotom behind him. He supposed he shouldn’t say such depressing things, especially to someone who couldn’t talk to him or even touch him.

Suddenly, the chainsaw turned orange in his arms and lifted out of them. The device turned so Cyrus could see its face, and then it winked at him and revved up.

“Oh my God! It worked!”

With that, Rotom was off. Cyrus ran after it into the woods. He wasn’t sure what it was off to do, but they would surely have a great time together. They always did.

Years passed, and they remained friends.

[mobliterated]

Actually wait I’m going to add more onto this. It’s okay to feel disgusted by certain types of media, and that’s not what this post is about. You can easily say “I’m squicked out by this” and that’s all you have to say. Going from “I find this uncomfortable” and jumping straight to “I find this uncomfortable, so it must be Morally Wrong Always” is where purity culture thrives. Purity culture wants censorship. After all, this is Problematic and Wrong, right? So if we just censor that, then the problem is fixed. Easy! But that’s not how it works.

What you find morally reprehensible will be different than what your comrade finds morally reprehensible. You just want to get rid of all minor/adult content, because that’s a Just goal, and is a bad influence, according to you. Your comrade, however, finds it equally morally reprehensible that children are being exposed to any sort of queer content. The Gays are deviants and they’re all pedophiles, so they’ve heard. Suddenly your censorship crusade is sweeping queer people under the rug, right next to the things you wanted gone because they also want it gone. It’s Morally Reprehensible, after all, letting those pure innocent children learn not just about sex, but deviant sex.

Your censorship crusade will not stop where you want it to. Censorship will always find something Terrible and Wrong, and will not stop. See the results of Strikethrough, which had the same sort of moral panic going on, and the reasons why it happened was because people wanted to get rid of Problematic Content, and then suddenly a whole host of queer content had disappeared too, because All Gays Are Pedos.

Even now, there’s the push to get rid of certain history, because it might make certain people uncomfortable. “Critical race theory,” they call it, making it sound worse than it is. Learning about the horrors of slavery isn’t to make white people feel uncomfortable. It’s not meant to make the entire population think that the US is actually terrible always and you should perpetually feel bad about it. Learning about slavery is about not repeating the past, and to learn where the divide of culture and class started and how it affects the now. It’s about understanding.

Stripping away things that make you uncomfortable will always lead to all minority voices being silenced. I live in a heavily censored state. I did not know about homosexuality besides that it was morally wrong to be gay, because that’s what led to the AIDS crisis, and so they deserved to be punished by disease because they were sex hungry fiends that would find and rape your children. I ended up having to read the “forbidden chapter” in my psychology textbook to learn that being gay is normal. I never got comprehensive sex ed, because it would corrupt the children into always wanting sex, and teen pregnancy is bad, so if they never learn about it besides STDs are horrible and will ruin your life, and only have sex with your singular spouse after you’re married. Teen pregnancy rates are worse here than in places that do have comprehensive sex ed. Censorship made that good goal of lowering teen pregnancy worse.

Censorship will never lead to the end that you want. Censorship ruins lives.

Moral panics will never lead to the end you want.

I haven’t even gotten into the psychology side of things, but to keep it (somewhat) brief:

Therapists recommend writing out trauma, because it gives you control and you can change the ending.

Rape fantasies are common among women. That doesn’t mean they want or seek out getting raped. Reading about it keeps everyone safe and you can disengage whenever you want.

Dark fiction exists for catharsis. To explore something horrible and wrong with the ability to disengage from it when you’re done. This is why horror is a popular genre; you want the shit scared out of you but also know that it’s not real.

Anything and everything, no matter how innocuous, will be used by evil people. If it’s not the incest fic someone wrote for ao3, it’s going to be something else, like connecting over Kirby or something. That does not mean Kirby needs to be banned forever.

The most common searched terms on porn sites is incest, and noncon is also pretty high up there. It’s a popular genre, yet there isn’t a massive chunk of people who then think it’s okay to do an irl incest.

Chances are, you find some type of Problematique Thing compelling, but that’s okay because you know how to consume it properly, unlike those Others who are doing it maliciously, and someone else thinks the very same, but you’re the one consuming it maliciously. Any and every person who has put their services out there for free to make a site that follows all of the current purity culture morals has never been taken up on, because dark content has its niche that can’t fully be scrubbed. Your brain sometimes needs to be scared shitless, or explore “wouldn’t that be fucked up? Wow that was really fucked up. Anyway, I’m Rod Sterling-“

Block tags you don’t want to see. Block people you don’t want to see. Please bring back the word “squick.”

Remember: everything is problematic in someone’s eyes. Let’s get you some fruit.

This user supports AO3

This user is anti-censorship

This user believes in “don’t like, don’t read”

This user believes in “ship and let ship”

This user believes that fiction tastes and preferences do not dictate moral character

[marvelbbyx]

Dating Jealous!Envy Adams Headcanons:

Request: @anon “heyy could you do envy adams jealous headcanons? love your write <33”

Author’s Note: I hope I did you justice anon, lmao I kinda went on a tangent. But enjoy!

Warnings! Drinking? Lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

•You and Envy had been together now for five months, meeting at a club you once worked at—you were hastily making drinks as she was performing their latest song.

•You paused to wipe the sweat from your brow, locking eyes with hers for fleeting minutes before resuming to make drinks, you almost spill a glass of Rum and Coke on some guy’s lap when you feel her stare again.

•After the concert, you were left alone to close down the bar, you were already elbow deep in scraping gum off the bar stools when you see knee-high red boots stop in front of you.

•Any person would be LYING if they said they weren’t embarrassed being found on the floor—covered with gum residue—in front of Envy Adams herself.

•You probably smelled bad too come to think of it.

•You shot up to your feet, gum riddled scraper in hand when you nervously introduced yourself, she was just as breathtaking up close…pin straight platinum blonde hair adorned with a silver spiked hair tie, dark brown eyes with black smokey eyeshadow, and vibrant red lipstick painting her naturally pouty lips.

•Her voice was deep and slightly raspy when she says, “Hi, I’m Envy.” Not Envy Adams. Just Envy.

•Your knees went weak, “Um…I was just closing up shop, but do…do you want a drink?”

•The blonde smiles, biting the corner of her lip, “I’d love one.”

•”What’s your poison?”

•”Rum and Coke.” She replies sitting down.

•”…perfect.”

•Once you gave her her drink, she didn’t drink it right away, instead folded her hands on the counter.

•You shot her a perplexed look, “Aren’t you going to drink it now?”

•”I want you to drink with me,” She stated, which shocked you even more. Usually you just made the drinks, not drink them too. But you also didn’t want to get fired sooo…

•You too—make yourself a drink—this one a Mojito.

•Envy holds up her glass, you mirroring her actions, you two clink the glasses before taking very long first sips.

•Well, you actually took a long first sip, her on the other hand…downed it as if her life depended on it.

•You could only look in shock and slight amazement that she could drink that quickly.

•She slams the glass down on the counter, emitting a small breath, Envy gazes at you expectantly to do the same…you do.

•You two smile at each other, continuing drink after drink—the rest of the night passing in a blur.

•Now five months in, you quit your job to be on tour with her and the band, it was the decision you’ve ever made; not as many white hairs as before.

•And you were still with Envy, after that night you assumed that she would never speak to you again, returning to her normal life and completely forgetting about you. To your horror you were indeed quite wrong, you found letters filling your mailbox everyday and very expensive flowers being sent to your apartment once a week. All from the same: Envy.

•Envy was quite a hopeless romantic, much to the callous persona everyone knew her for she was the complete opposite with you. Flowers, love notes, chocolates, fancy dinner reservations, you name it—she’d get it.

•You never doubted her feelings for you, she shows you everyday just how much you mean to her.

•At the concerts, she’d never fail to point you out or shout out on stage, “That’s my amazing girlfriend, Y/N! I love you so much, baby!”

•But besides the constant declarations of love and showering of affections, there was always one side of Envy that really got you going…her envy.

•It started off at one of the rehearsals, something small, you and Todd were playing with the Cheetos by throwing and trying to catch them in your mouths, Todd goes to show you how to catch it properly, his hand accidentally brushing against your arm when he does.

•Only the thing was, from Envy’s perspective, it looked like he touched your boob. And simply just laughed about it.

•Mid-warm up she steps down from the stage and goes straight over to Todd, as he was in the middle explaining to you the various exercises a person can do with their mouth, it was then that Envy’s hand collided with his face with a loud smack. Leaving behind a crimson hand print.

•Todd recoiled in shock, “What the fuck was that for?”

•”What the fuck were you doing touching Y/N’s boob like that?” She shouts.

•”I just touched her arm!”

•You were still trying to register what just happened as the two of them argued and you did feel bad for Todd…kind of, but you had to admit this side of Envy excited you.

•”Babe, I’m fine,” You say, hugging and rubbing her arm to calm her down. “He just touched my arm by accident, not my boob.”

•”Are you sure?” She huffed.

•”I promise, love.”

•Afterwards, when Todd was crying and wailing to the band manager, you two were in her dressing room. Studying and focusing on the taste of each other’s lips, Envy starts kissing and sucking along your neck.

•You felt her pause at the base of your neck planting a small kiss there before latching her teeth in the same spot. You mewled softly when you felt bite down harder on your skin.

•She pulled away with a self-satisfied grin, her eyes dark and blown out, drifting from your huge love mark to your eyes, hazed with lust.

•She cups your chin, her breath tickling your upper lip when she whispers, “You’re mine, Y/N…only mine. Don’t you forget that.”

•”Never.”

•Then there was second time it happened…it was at a girls brunch, you and Envy were sitting next to each other and you nearly choked on your eggs when you felt her hand snake up your thigh.

•She was calm about it though, pretending as though she did nothing while you were dying internally.

•One of the girls at the table was your ex at your old job, she made a comment about how good you looked then and now. As a result Envy pulled you into the girl’s bathroom to really appreciate how good you looked.

•Now it was at an interview, it was between the band and an interviewer named Matt Shrapnel, who was by all definitions an asshole.

•In his show, whenever he was interviewing a woman he would always make snide comments or statements about her appearance or her job.

•A miracle that his show lasted this long really.

•Anyway, he was interviewing the band and a question was targeted at Envy, you were backstage watching the interview on the flat screen that was in the room, bracing yourself for whatever that idiot had to say. If he was anything like Todd, he’d get the hell out of there.

•”So, Miss Adams,” He began. “You’re a very attractive woman and it’s no surprise that you found yourself a girl who’s just as good looking if not more than you.”

•You scoffed, “What a fucking dick.”

•You noticed Envy’s face twitch as the guy just kept talking, she gave a bitter laugh, “Well, you should know a lot about that, Matt, considering that your wife can’t say the same about you.”

•The audience erupted into a sea of laughter, Matt sat in his seat, shocked that she made a comment like that. On HIS show.

•”Anyway,” Matt cleared his throat. “Miss Adams, would you say that you’re a fashion icon?”

•”A lot of planning and consideration goes into my outfits, in fact, my girlfriend helps me pick them out.” She says smugly.

•This earned an “oooooh” from the audience.

•”Oh, got it. So do you help her dress like a hooker too?” He questions with a laugh. “I mean, I’d want her to dress like that too if I wanted to show off her body like that—“

•Envy rose to her feet angrily, her hands balled into fists at her side. She storms over to Matt’s side, the other band members attempted to hold her back as she goes to hit him.

•You’re watching from room the scene playing out in front of you, Envy and the band screaming at Matt while he hid behind one of his larger security guards, the show was now something out of Jerry Springer.

•You managed to make out your girlfriend’s voice, yelling out, “Leave my girlfriend’s name out of your goddamn mouth! Or next time I won’t be stopped!”

•And she’s not joking.

[I didn’t mean to give Will Smith energy. 😂]

[babycharmander]

Regarding Loboto’s teeth

Okay so I... just now thought of this, and I am frankly shocked at myself that I never considered this before. Though just to warn you, this is just... going into really heavy overanalysis and I don't think this was the actual intention of anyone at DF when writing/designing Loboto's character/backstory/models (though if it was then I must continue to praise their genius).

Also TW/CW?? This post is going to deal with a lot of stuff about TEETH. If you have like any kind of dental phobia or just... don't want to see discussions about teeth or images of them, I recommend skipping this post.

So, Loboto's teeth. Let’s talk about them for a moment, and what their condition means for his character. (And no, the answer is not “He’s a Bad Person so his teeth are Bad.” please do away with that mindset forever.)

[ID: A screenshot from Psychonauts in the Rhombus of Ruin showing a closeup of Loboto's teeth. Notably they are fairly crooked and discolored, appearing various shades of yellow.]

For a guy who likes teeth so much, his own teeth seem kinda... not in great shape, don't they? This might make some amount of sense, given Tim Schafer has said that Loboto does not have a dental degree and doesn't actually know as much about teeth as you might think, in spite of how much he likes them. So because of this, we can assume he’s probably not taking good care of his teeth, right?

Wrong!

The way Loboto's teeth look is not the result of lack of care! Why? Because if he weren't actually caring for his teeth, like not brushing them, his teeth would not be merely discolored. They would rot. I've seen this happen to people (folks who suffered such awful bouts of depression that they couldn't properly take care of themselves, and their teeth rotted as a result), and it's not pretty.  But that's not going on with Loboto's teeth!

"But BC,” you say, “how can you be sure? Maybe they're not rotten, but it could still just be that he takes bad care of his teeth, right?"

Good point! To answer that, let's look at the model of Loboto as a child.

[ID: An image of child!Loboto's model from RoR. He is crouching on the ground and his mouth is open enough that we get a good view of his teeth. They appear to be discolored, in various shades of gray/yellow.]

It looks like child!Loboto's teeth are discolored as well!

"But BC," you say, "the Psychonauts series uses very stylized art. What if it's just the style and they're supposed to be normal-colored?"

That's another great point! Let's look at some of the other characters.

[ID: Closeups of Raz, Oleander, and Sasha to demonstrate their teeth color--they all appear to have uniformly white (or slightly off-white) teeth.]

Here we see Raz, Oleander, and Sasha. Raz and Sasha both appear to have fairly white teeth. Oleander's teeth, meanwhile, look slightly off-white. But if you were to eyedrop those colors, none of them are white, and Sasha's are actually darker than Oleander's. This is just because the way way perceive color is affected by surrounding colors and other fancy stuff, and pure white is rarely going to be used in character models, yada yada yada. Point is, I'm pretty comfortable saying that these characters are meant to have ""normal""-looking teeth. (that is in scare quotes because I frankly hate the idea of straight white teeth being "normal" and you'll understand why in a bit, if you don't know already.) And as you'll also notice, their teeth are uniformly colored--there's no spots of color variation there.

Compare that to the earlier image of child!Loboto's teeth, and you'll see that, alongside being crooked, they're also not uniformly colored--there's spots of color variation on the individual teeth. And as I said earlier, I do not believe this is due to lack of dental care, as given the way his parents are, they would for sure not let their child get away with letting his teeth go bad!

So yes, I think we can safely say that Loboto's teeth are naturally discolored, not bad or dirty due to lack of proper care.

"Okay BC," you say, "you've been at this for like 700 words now. What is your point?"

My point is this:

I believe that Loboto may have a dental condition known as dentinogenesis imperfecta.

PLEASE USE CAUTION IF YOU DECIDE TO LOOK THAT UP. You will get LOTS of pictures of mouths and teeth and photos of very extreme versions of this condition.

To spare you from looking that up on your own, I'll give you a brief explanation: Dentinogenesis imperfecta is a genetic dental condition that causes the enamel of the teeth to be discolored (often blue-gray or yellow-brown (sometimes called "amber")), the enamel to be weaker than normal, and the roots of the teeth to be shorter than normal. As well, it affects both the baby teeth and the adult teeth, sometimes one more severely than the other. It can also affect where the teeth are placed in the mouth.

(WARNING, THE FOLLOWING LINKS ARE TO PHOTOS OF REAL TEETH/MOUTHS. You can see photos of a couple pictures of MILDER versions of the condition here and here. Go ahead and compare them to the images of Loboto I showed earlier if you like.)

"Uhh, okay BC, that's cool and all, but why do you know all this stuff about this condition, and furthermore and why does it matter if Loboto has it or not?"

If you hadn't guessed, I know this because I have personal experience with it. I have the condition myself, as do many members of my family.

As for why it matters... oh, boy. If Loboto has dentinogenesis imperfecta, then I can say with absolute certainty that this matters a lot, and explains several things about his character.

Let's start with his parents.

(Which, briefly, I will admit that one possible hole in this hypothesis is that the condition is inherited in an autosomal dominant pattern, meaning one or both of Loboto's parents would have it... but it may be that one of them maybe had a very mild version of the condition that could be ignored, which can happen! Not often, but it does happen.)

So, we know how Loboto's parents are, at least going by his memory of them-- from the time he was born they set up extremely unhealthy expectations for him, calling them their "little angel" and "perfect boy." As well, with their general behavior and the fact that his father was a doctor, it's safe to assume they were a well-to-do family. They hated and feared his psychic powers, seeing him as a monster, as someone with a "sickness" that needed to be "fixed." This was probably due to their own anti-psychic bigotry, but also the general anti-psychic sentiment at the time. To have a child that was psychic would probably be seen as shameful, and they can't have their child causing them shame, now, can they?

With that in mind... Imagine Loboto's parents realizing that their "perfect child" is now growing his baby teeth! How exciting! Except... something is wrong. They're not the "right" color. From what we see in child!Loboto's model, his teeth seem to be a more mild discoloration--possibly a mild yellow, or even blue/gray--but it's definitely noticeable. And they can't have that! What will their friends and neighbors and colleagues think? Surely they would assume they were such terrible parents they couldn't even take proper care of their child's teeth!

I don't know if a baby would be taken to the dentist or if they'd simply take him to the doctor, but I do know this: my father had this dental condition, and little to nothing was known about it back in his day. While there's some treatment for it now (crowns can be placed on permanent teeth to strengthen them and make them look whiter)... back then, there was none. And for sure, there’s not much to be done about baby teeth anyway.

They're told that nothing can be done--this is just how their child's teeth are. Perhaps his adult teeth will look better, but this is just how he is.

So from the start, even before they learn of his psychic powers, his parents already have reason to resent him. He's "not right," and from a very young age, he would be aware of why, not just because of his parents, but because of everyone else. I can say from experience that having naturally discolored teeth puts you at a serious social disadvantage. Humans are Very Aware of how other humans look, so when they see something that looks different from what’s believed to be normal, especially anywhere in the face, they will take note.

"Your teeth are rotten!"

"Hey, dirt-mouth!"

Those just were a few of the awful things I heard, and I wouldn't be shocked if Loboto heard things like that, too. For as long as he could remember, he would have been hyper-aware of his teeth, possibly looking at them in the mirror a lot and wondering why they didn't look like everyone else's. Additionally, that hyper-awareness of teeth would probably lead to his fascination with them.

It doesn't end there. As you recall, one of the things that dentinogenesis imperfecta can cause is weakened enamel. Just how weak it is can vary, but cavities would be a very common issue, which would mean... you guessed it, a lot of trips to the dentist. With every cleaning, they'd probably find more cavities, which would require more treatment. Now, you might think that would be traumatic--getting your teeth worked on could hurt, and a lot of children struggle with dentist visits! However, recall one of the other things I stated about the condition: it can also cause the roots of the teeth to be shorter than normal. This is probably the only advantage the condition provides, because the shorter roots mean that having your teeth worked on is a lot less painful. For me, I only ask for numbing in very extreme cases (such as getting a tooth pulled)--otherwise, I'm generally fine to go without numbing at all, which might also be the case for Loboto--most procedures he would have wouldn't cause much more than mild discomfort.

All that to say he would have no reason to dread the frequent dentist visits. In fact, they probably fed into his fascination with teeth... and dentistry!

Another thing I mentioned was that dentinogenesis imperfecta can affect both the primary and permanent teeth, and it can affect them differently. For some lucky people, this means their permanent teeth come out looking a lot better than their baby teeth. But for Loboto... well... that wasn't the case, as we can see as an adult his teeth took on more of the "amber" color, giving him the charming smile we're all familiar with.

(Admittedly I am fudging the ages at which this would happen (since I do think we see child!Loboto when he's about 10 or so and typically kids are getting their permanent teeth at that point), but Psychonauts is series where characters can be nine feet tall, so who's to say Loboto couldn’t have gotten the adult teeth a little later?)

So... uh... yeah.

TL;DR: Loboto may have dentinogenesis imperfecta, which would have contributed heavily to his fascination with teeth and dentistry, as well as distancing him from his parents and peers.

[promenadewithme]

hello darling! I'm so happy you have reached that milestone so quickly! but not surprised because everyone can see your writing is amazing ❤️

Can you write something for your 50 follower challenge with the song 'Can't help falling in love' by Elvis Presley and Anthony Bridgerton? My pronouns are she/her.

you have absolute creative freedom!

Keep being amazing darling 🌼

Thank you so much, Lalla!! You are so sweet💙   I had so much fun writing this and I hope you like it!

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem! reader

Song: Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

Warnings: fluff and Cressida being a b-word

Word Count: 1,3k

Can’t Help Falling In Love

_____________________________

Dearest Readers, 

it has come this this author’s attention that the Viscount Bridgerton has begun courting Lady (y/n) (y/l/n) earlier this week. The pair have been seen promenading on several occasions and Mr. Bridgerton has sent flowers every day. Are we to expect a new Viscountess in the ton? Rest assured, if they are to wed, this author will find out.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown. 

_____________________________

“Do you truly think he will propose, mama?” your asked your mother. She had woken you up with the latest society papers in hand.

“Of course he will! I would not be surprised if he dances with you four times at tonight’s ball!” your mother replied, a proud smile on her face.

“Don’t be absurd, mama! That would be extremely improper!” you exclaimed, but a crimson blush still appeared across your cheeks at the mere possibility of being close to Anthony for that long. It was no secret that the eldest bridgerton had your affections, but you were not sure if you had his. Despite his actions, the Viscount was known for being a rake of the worst kind and didn’t tend to show his emotions aside from the occasional smile or brooding demeanor.

“My daughter! A Viscountess! Who would have thought?” your mother hugged you tightly, grinning like a cheshire cat.

“Don’t be hasty, mama. You forget he has not yet proposed, he might not at all.” you answered. 

“Don’t be absurd my dear! Tonight you shall wear the family diamonds!” she declared and stepped out humming joyfully. 

You didn’t want to rush into this, but your thoughts circled back to him during the day and you realised I can’t help falling in love with you, Anthony Bridgerton.

“Do you think she will be here tonight?” asked Eloise to her eldest brother.

“She guaranteed she would.” Anthony replied, the same brooding look as always on his face as he looked at the entry expectantly. 

“My son, why don’t you dance with one of the other ladies? I’m sure they are just as fine dancers as Miss (y/l/n)!” the Dowager Viscountess said, already looking around for someone appropriate for her son.

“I do not wish to dance with anyone else, mother.” he responded, still looking at the door.

“My son, bear in mind that you are choosing the future Viscountess Bridgerton, this is not just one more of your affairs. You have only been courting her for a week, it’s still the beginning of the season. Only fools rush in.” Lady Violet muttered so only her son could hear, a smile on her face to keep away the prying eyes and ears of the ton.

Anthony finally looked back at his mother and said “This is not just another affair. (y/n) is different. I -” he looked around then back at his mother. “I’m falling in love with her.”

Violet’s eyes softened, a small smile appearing on her face. This is all she had ever wanted for her children, to find love and live a happy life.

“Well then, I think you would like to know that your dearest has arrived.”

Anthony’s gaze went straight to you and, smiling softly, he thought you looked like an angel. You were wearing a white gown with gold details, long gloves, diamonds and a small tiara. He immediately made his way to you and bowed.

“If I may be so bold, Lady (y/n), you look absolutely stunning. May I have your first dance?” he said with a shy smile. You blushed at his comment.

“Of course, Lord Bridgerton. It would be my honour.” with that, he took your gloved hand, ever so softly, and guided you to the dance floor. 

The scenery was truly breathtaking. It was an outdoors ball, so light of the moon and the stars shone upon you. There were also a few lamps scattered, but just enough so the ambience was filled with romance. Taking your place in the midst of the other couples, you looked at each other as you waited for the music to start. 

“I meant what I said earlier, you look breathtakingly beautiful tonight.” your heart was beating much faster that normal as he held one of your hands and placed the other on your waist. 

“Just tonight?” you remarked in a humorous tone, trying to distract yourself from the feeling his compliment brought you. Only Anthony didn’t catch on, his eyes widened and he stuttered.

“N-no! Of course not! Not just tonight! I-” you felt pity for the poor Viscount and replied “I’m only joking, my Lord.” he relaxed his tense shoulders, chuckling.

“Of course you are.” he mumbled with a smile before spinning you and pulling you back in his arms. This was not part of the dance, so you gasped and started laughing, throwing your head back. Anthony looked at you in awe and thought like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.

“You always take my breath away.” he mumbled tenderly. The song ended and you parted, you looked back and he was still looking at you with a silly smile, making you giggle. You turned your gaze forward right before bumping into someone.

“Cressida! How lovely to see you!” it wasn’t.

“I know what you are doing, (y/n).” she said with the fakest smile you have ever seen.

“And what would that be?” you asked, truly curious as to what she was talking about.

“Don’t be daft, darling. It’s not very attractive. Everyone knows you are trying to seduce the Viscount.” she stepped closer to you and continued “This will never work. He would never marry someone like you. A Viscountess should be elegant, beautiful, sociable and everything else you are not. So, do yourself a favour and bow down while you have time. Wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself when he chooses me over you.” she was grinning when she stepped away and you were holding back your tears. 

Not wanting anyone to see you cry, you went to a more secluded part of the garden. What you didn’t know was that Anthony saw the expression on your face as you left and ran after you.

Sitting on a bench you found far away from the party, you cried, hands on your face. The scene broke Anthony’s heart. He stalked to you and said angrily “What did she say to you?” you were startled at first, but when you saw that it was Anthony, you relaxed a bit. 

“It was nothing, just Cressida being Cressida.” you tried smiling, but failed miserably.

“It was something if you are here alone and crying.” then he realised. You were alone, unchaperoned. But you were also crying and obviously sad. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? he thought. Anthony looked back one more time to make sure no one was coming and hugged you, wiping away your tears. 

“I can’t stand to see you this way, can’t stand that she hurt you.” he muttered. You looked him in the eyes and asked “Why?” he didn’t know where the sudden confidence came from, but still he said “Because I can’t help falling in love with you.” 

You were shocked, but still answered smiling. “I’m falling in love with you too.” The Viscount grinned at that, holding you tighter in his arms.

“I know it is still early in the season and I have only just started courting you, but I can no longer wait.” he knelt to the ground and continued “(y/n), take my hand, take my whole life too. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Yes!” you exclaimed. He stood up laughing, spun you around and gave you a soft kiss on the lips.

“Are you going to tell me what Cressida said to you, future wife?” he asked with a satisfied grin. You laughed and looked at him sheepishly.

“She said you would never marry me, that you’d choose her and that I was not fit to be a Viscountess.” 

“Well then” he linked his arm with yours, walking back to the party “I think she will be very surprised with our wedding invitation.” you laughed at that and he resumed. “As for the last part, to me you are perfect and that’s all that matters.”

General tag list: @power-of-words23

Anthony Bridgerton tag list: @multifandomfix

Tell me if you want to be added to any of my tag lists!!

[ericspinkhair]

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.

[goldentsum]

— oh my empress: aoba johsai palace

CHARACTERS: oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro

TAGS: suggestive themes, smut, angst, historical au where women have the ‘superior’ status, pet names, ‘cheating’ but is it really cheating tho? idk empress x concubines have such confusing relationship status, unrequited love, dom-ish! empress! reader, concubine! males, praising

ROUTE: aoba johsai palace: you are here. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this idea was lurking in my mind every single day so i tried to write it HAHAHAHA very angsty tho. unedited bleghhh :p 

— oikawa ♡

• a clingy concubine!! he fr thinks that yall should just make it official official so that he can stand by you in the throne room as your one and only man 

• he’ll talk smack about the other concubines. it’s canon.

• also, oikawa knows all the gossip in the palace

• oikawa always tells you that he loved you even when you two were younger and no one can ever love you like he loves you

• when he was younger, his mother is one of the officials in court and the woman always brought him along

• and before he knew it, it was normal for him to go to court with his mother. 

• oh how he remembers it clearly. you in that soft white kimono, smiling brightly as you giggle, while your handmaidens gently pushing you on the swing. your perfectly adorned hair framing your pretty face. 

• you were so beautiful and oikawa just can’t help but know you. though as a male, it would be proven difficult, but his mother was one of the officials and tried to talk to you

• oikawa thought at first that you were a child of another official too and to his big surprise, you were the crown princess! 

• you still tease him to this day about how cocky he was at first, trying to impress you. 

• he loves it when you spend time with him and go to his room for procreating...

• it always feels like you’ve chosen him. chose him to spend your limited free time with him among your many concubines 

• maybe in the future, he can be your prince like you are his glowing empress.

“your highness, i’m really happy that you’re here...” he hic-ed, his lips trembling as he looked up at you with a red blush on his face. his once immaculate kimono draped his body loosely while you run your hands up and down his chest, admiring the milky and soft skin. 

you smiled at him and leaned down, placing a small kiss on his forehead making him gasp. you softly whispered against his skin, “i’m here, sweet prince” 

oikawa whimpered softly, heart beating harshly at the sweet pet name as tears pricked his eyes. your hands trailed down his stomach, feeling his clenching muscles. you leaned further down, trailing hot wet kisses on his neck, and slowly started grinding on top of him. 

the pretty male gasped, his hands flying up to wrap his arms around you. you chuckled at his reaction and the prominent hard-on that was nudging your thigh. 

“such a cute reaction you have, sweet prince~” you teased, your hot breath hitting oikawa’s sensitive neck. you let your hand go to his hair, running through the messy tresses and your nails scratching his scalp gently. oikawa’s eyes rolled to his skull and letting his head hung back, giving you more space to his neck. his hips jerking when you continued the slow and agonizing pace of your grinding. 

“p-please... y-your highness... touch me more..” he whispered, the massive blush on his skin so delectable. you smiled and faced him. oikawa’s half-lidded eyes stared at you with love and need. you placed a soft kiss on his lips making him moan. the kiss turned messy and hot in an instant. 

oikawa opened his mouth, letting your slick tongue in. you swallowed his moans when you started playing with his tongue and your fingers thumbing his nipples. his kimono rustled and crumpled as you moved it off his shoulders. 

tooruu loves you so much that it hurts. your soft touch wasn’t making it easier for him to deny you. he tried to shove the feelings he had for you but whenever you smiled at him, it starts to build up again. 

it was as easy as that. you had him wrapped around your fingers and you don’t even know. 

his hands clenching your red kimono as if he were to loosen even just a bit, you’d disappear. just like before...

— iwaizumi ♡

• an intellectual concubine who deals with affairs in court!

• the other concubines are scared of him! 

• but he doesn’t know that so shhh! this baby thinks that they’re just shy and just didn’t know him so they talk to him

• iwaizumi wants to be useful to you. not just a baby maker who comes and goes. 

• he never intended to fall in love with you. he really didn’t. he became a concubine because oikawa dragged him into it when the former was up for the exam. 

• iwaizumi relented because he thought if he’s at court, he can do something about the oppression that was happening around towards males. 

• he wants to change it and he thought that he was just a mere concubine in your court so he can do something about it without having to deal with you. you were an empress that embraced and welcomed many men in your court. 

• though, he didn’t know how much he was able to feel so loved when he met you. 

• so his objective changed, though only a little. he wants to be called as your lover that changed the views of society. 

• but he admits that there was a lot of competition in court. most especially for your affection and attention. iwaizumi saw a lot of other males ruining and fighting when you were not present. 

• but he won’t participate in it, he won’t stoop so low. though when another concubine started telling lies about you having favorites and being unfair, he mayhaps fought talked with him. 

“y-your majesty! we can’t do this here!” iwaizumi gasped, placing a shaky hand on your arm as you pressed him against the shelves of your private library

you chuckled and leaned against him, trailing kisses with your lips on his neck. you felt him shiver when you placed a wet kiss on his pulse while your hands groped and caressed his body through his thick kimono. 

“why not?~” you asked, biting his ear. iwaizumi gasped, his knees buckling a bit while he supported himself on the shelf. iwaizumi always tells you that you shouldn’t waste your time with him. he was so different from the usual concubines in your court. he wasn’t pretty nor delicate like them... but that what makes him so addicting to you. 

“i think you deserve a break, sweetie~ i heard all about your accomplishment in my court. may i say how impressed i am” you cooed and leaned a bit to face him. you looked him straight in his eyes making him a little shy at your unwavering gaze that was filled with adoration. 

iwaizumi closed his eyes tightly and hugged you, hiding his warm face in your neck. it was inappropriate to just hug the empress like this and normally, he wouldn’t do this but he just felt so much in the moment. 

he made you proud. you’re proud of him. it was all for you. you. 

iwaizumi heard you chuckled, feeling the light vibration through his clothes. he felt you lean away and he let you. you pressed your forehead against his, caressing his warm red cheek. “you worked hard, hajime” 

the man whimpered and pressed a hard and needy kiss on your lips as you hummed in approval. he let you guide him through the kiss as your tongue slithered in his cavern, playing with his tongue. 

god, you tasted so good. your lips felt heavenly against him. if he can, he’ll kiss you forever. 

your hand trailed up to his hair, massaging his scalp and he moaned into the kiss. you felt the hard nudge against your thigh which make you smirk, as much as you can while kissing. 

you then jutted your leg between his, your thigh pressing against his hard-on. iwaizumi gasped, holding onto you. 

he looked into you and he shivered when he saw your dark gaze as your eyes swirled with lust. 

before he can do anything, a voice called out from the door outside. “your highness? the court awaits for you in the throne room” 

you sighed in annoyance but slowly removed your body away from iwaizumi which made the male whine unconsciously at the lost of your heat. you smiled at him and held his face, swiping your thumb lightly against his pink lips. “i’ll see you later, sweets~” and went out of the library, leaving him alone in silence and with his thoughts. 

the male sighed.

hajime knows he can’t make you love him like he loves you but that’s okay. as long as he gets to be by your side, it’s okay. it really was okay... to be able to hold you was a miracle for him and he ended up loving you way too much. 

not many would remember him and his work in your court but he wishes something more than anything else.

when all of these moments pass and he’s all but a grain in the wide earth, he hopes that the world can remember how much he loved you. 

— matsukawa ♡

• mattsun doesn’t know how he got in your court tbh

• he was just lounging around his estate then his mother slammed his door open and told him he’s gonna be a concubine for the empress

• at first he doesn’t know what to feel cus a concubine? for the empress? him? fr? 

• though when he met you, you were kinda intimidating tbh. he was nervous because he knows the status of men in court and in society in general. 

• but when he found out that you were chill about it and actually cared about him well them? 

• he mayhaps softened

• mattsun is usually seen in the garden with makki, just talking shit about some desperate concubines they see around

• when you started visiting him in the palace he resides in with the other 3, he thought he was sick with how fast his heart was beating.

• he never really paid any attention to other women, finding them annoying with how boasty they get about their status whenever he’s in a match-making visit.

• but you talked to him like he was a human being, like you see him for him and not his status in society. 

• when mattsun gets comfortable, he’s very tease-y because he likes hearing you laugh. call him whipped but he doesn’t care. 

• he wants to see your bright eyes looking at him. him. just him. your smile sent towards his way. 

• when you consummated that one night for the first time, he got overwhelmed with the way you were soft and let him lead though still maintaining your aura of authority. 

• whenever he thinks about that night, the butterflies in his stomach starts again. mattsun would thank his mother right now if he can for letting him have the opportunity to meet you and to actually hold you. 

you chuckled when he started pecking your face with multiple kisses as his larger body pressed against yours, pinning you down in the soft and thick futon in his room in the palace. 

“still so clingy, issei~” you teased but the male only hummed with a small and warm smile on his lips while he continues to litter your face and neck with his kisses. you felt his warm hands touch your skin softly, the feeling of his soft hands on your body always made you feel a little softer. 

you reached up and held his face, squishing it so that his lips were all pouty. you laughed at his expression and kissed his lips. 

mattsun could feel it again. the butterflies in his stomach. the harsh beating of his heart. he hoped that you wouldn’t hear it. he wants to maintain this calm and apathetic that goes with the flow kind of vibe. 

if you knew how much he loved you, he doesn’t know what he would do. these feelings were too much for the young man. 

mattsun wants to be with you all the time, he wants to feel you all the time. to have and to hold you. 

when you released your hold on his face to run your fingers through his hair and massaging the back of his neck, he started kissing you deeper. 

he swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for permission. you hummed and opened your mouth which he eagerly accepted. 

his hands then held your thighs, squeezing and fondling the thick meat. matsukawa groaned into the kiss when you wrapped your legs around his waist, making his groin press against your heat. at the small action, he started kissing you more feverishly, his hands touching every skin and starting to remove your kimono. 

so needy. desperate even. to touch you. to feel you again. to sink into the delusion that you two were two lovesick couple in your own small little world. 

you chuckled, albeit muffled by matsukawa’s lips still working against yours, you let your legs drop from his waist making him whine and break the kiss in confusion. 

“i thought we were finished and you’re letting me go back?” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely. issei rolled his eyes playfully, though he knows he shouldn’t but you just felt so familiar and you make him sp comfortable in your presence that it scared him a little because he does all sorts of things. 

“i am~ but you’re making it a little harder than usual, my empress” he teased back, bumping his nose against yours while his lazy smirk that you loved so much appeared in his lips. 

“am i?~” you bit back, replying with your own smirk. mattsun let his eyes drop and go to your lips. mesmerized by it. it was so red. so beautiful. so soft. so kissable. 

“well you have to let me go, issei. you hogged me for the whole day, needy~” you poked his cheek which he bit playfully making you chuckle. mattsun let go of your finger and placed a small kiss on it. “well, i am your favorite right? i have the right to take your time~” he teased again

“of course” you whispered, stroking his face. mattsun’s eyes softened at that and leaned closer to your hands. 

“i have to go, issei...” his lazy smirk wavered a bit at your words but he straightened it. fortunately for him, you didn’t noticed. 

mattsun nodded and sat up, letting you sit up too. you pressed a soft kiss on his lips and fixed your kimono and hair to look presentable as you leave. 

you stood up and was about to go out but a large hand held yours. you looked down at him and smiled, squeezing his hand before letting go and going out

he watched you exit his room, his heart clenching painfully. issei let out a shaky breath and held his forehead, chuckling pathetically. 

it was painful to see you come and go. it was his fault for feeling like this, not yours... it’s his fault for falling in love with you, the empress, when he’s just a mere concubine in your court.

he cursed and gripped his chest, where his heart was. 

he dreaded this and he knows that there would be a time where he’ll see a man by your side. and all he can do is wish that it was him that you chose.

— hanamaki ♡

• he’s a chill concubine

• makki just hangs around here and there, not minding any of the loud concubines when they’re in your palace. 

• he also doesn’t do anything to capture your attention but weirdly enough that made you intrigued

• his soft pink hair was always your favorite. you always tell him this that he had the prettiest hair you’ve seen. that it was so unique and whenever all of your concubines are in your court, you can spot him easily.

• makki being the middle child with two sisters mean that there was barely attention given to him in his household. 

• so the male wasn’t familiar with compliments and gets a little too shy when he receives it. and especially from you? the empress, the most powerful woman in the country? 

• his father brought him up when his mother took his sisters with her. 

• he remembers the muffled shout, “i don’t need a good for nothing male!” 

• hanamaki doesn’t really care anymore, deciding to isolate himself but his father was ambitious.

• his father pushed him to the empress, telling him to get ahead. that he can raise their status. he was the shining hope for the two of them. 

• makki didn’t know what to do when he first came to your court but you were there to ease his nerves though he’d admit he thought you were a guard from the way you dressed. you loved sneaking around, wearing different uniforms. though makki had his suspicions because there was no way a guard could look so beautiful..

• may the gods help him. he was falling in love with you. and fast. 

this was bad. really bad. but he can’t stop. not now. not now that he has experienced what it was like to be in your arms. to feel your lips against his. 

but the guilt was slowly eating him away. mattsun, his best friend, loved you and takahiro promised to help the former with you but here he was. warming your bed, stroking every skin he could touch. 

“what’s wrong, cherry blossom?” you asked, breath heavy from his actions. makki leaned his head against your thigh, looking at you. you’re so beautiful. 

your eyes half-lidded, chest heaving heavy pants from your previous orgasm as your red lips curled into a breathless smile.

you run your fingers through his hair, looking at him with confusion. makki let out an amused sigh and shook his head, pushing down any guilt that he felt. 

he doesn’t want to remember that. he doesn’t want to be reminded. right now he wants to focus on you. you. nothing else but loving you. 

“nothing, my queen” he hummed and leaned closer to your wet cunt again, tongue swiping against the puffy clit making you shiver at the sensitivity. you sighed, eyes rolling back to your skull as makki gently sucked and licked you. 

you gripped his hair, hips jutting against his mouth. makki hummed against you, his cock twitching excitedly, as his actions got faster when he saw that you were ready for more. oh, how he lives to please you. 

to see you come undone before his eyes was truly heavenly. 

but takahiro knew this was a bad idea. he didn’t want to do this to his best friend... he knew that issei loves you... but here he was, enjoying your every touch, every affection, and every moan your pretty lips releases. 

if he can redo everything and decline his father’s wishes and honor his friend’s feelings, he knows what he'll do... 

he would be here again and again, waiting for you. 

[darlingwhump]

2: Communication ✧ Stem the Tide

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Thank you to everyone who liked the first chapter of Stem the Tide! This chapter serves as a caretaking interlude from Kharis’s POV, with a little bit of lore through a flashback. I had a lot of fun writing that first scene; it’s really cool from a worldbuilding perspective. Look out for a new canon drabble tomorrow as well! Enjoy~

Also, I made a playlist of songs that inspired Stem the Tide and have helped to conceptualize its characters! You can check it out here.

CW: war flashbacks, loss of autonomy, fear, implied past abuse, but after we get through that it’s just straight caretaking dw, specifically hair brushing!, nonhuman characters, lady whumpee

Word Count: ~2000

12 years ago. The final days of The War of Land and Sea.

The last thing Kharis remembered was a tsunami overtaking their small coastal town near the Luatali Jungle, and a resulting magical numbness that lasted gods know how long. Then, all at once, it came back. 

They were on the battlefield…when had they joined the navy? Cannons were firing and soldiers dropped like flies. 

Kharis flinched back, still gripping a sword they didn’t know they owned until thirty seconds ago. Blood had splattered across the blade. Their fellow soldiers were screaming, cries of confusion and panic at their unexpected surroundings. Someone was shouting to surrender, that they had to find a white flag. 

When the cannonfire ceased, the two sides came together. The adventurers who had “freed them” explained that the entire war had been a trick, orchestrated by an aberration capable of mass enslavement and mind control. They had been used as puppets for war. 

Some soldiers took it well. Or, as well as they could considering the circumstances. They quickly mourned the decades of life they lost and returned to their former lives. 

Others didn’t. Kharis’s entire family had been affected by the mind control, and most of them had either died or gone crazy in the aftermath. They were restless, moving from town to town in search of something that stuck, but nothing ever did. Despite the proven involvement of a higher power, formerly enslaved soldiers were still being tracked down and put on trial. 

After The War, the oceans opened back up once the Aquans had no need for defensive maneuvers, and created a region ripe for exploration. And, eventually, plunder. If the Islands wanted everything to go back to normal despite the unprecedented circumstances, then Kharis had to make some kind of plan to leave. It was only a matter of time before they gave into their restless side. So, they left the Alari Islands forever to pursue a life of piracy.

-

Present Day

Kharis knocks three times on their cabin door, “Hey, I’m comin’ in, alright?”

The mermaid Kharis had rescued only hours ago chirps in acknowledgement from the other side, and the wooden door creaks open. Right now, Nereia is sitting on the floor of Kharis and their closest crewmate, Shrew’s, cabin. She still looks terrified from her “escape” attempt earlier today (her words, not theirs), her hair tangled and hanging in clumps over half of her face. She has so many bruises and infections that need to be looked at, but if Kharis learned anything from their time in the War, it’s that too much too fast can be overwhelming.

“I brought you some food. We mostly eat fish out of convenience, but I managed to find a few plantains and oranges in the storage cabin.”

Nereia furrows her brows at Kharis’s words, but her webbed ears perk up when she sees the plate in their hands. She stares at it longingly. Kharis holds the plate out, and the mermaid takes it without hesitation. She immediately reaches for the plantains, digging in and smiling in appreciation. 

“So I’m having my friend, Shrew, bring down the crew’s shared bathtub. We can fill it up with some fresh water and start your swimming lessons next time we dock.”

Nereia tilts her head in confusion, her mouth stuffed full of plantains. Her eyes still don’t make contact, “Don’t understand, sorry.” Kharis had almost forgotten about the language barrier. It was certainly posing a challenge to their communication, but Kharis had made it this far, hadn’t they? 

“It’s alright--Hold on, slow down,” Kharis chuckles when Nereia tries to shovel another bite into her mouth, “We don’t want you to get sick.”

Nereia nods in response, her cheeks puffed out with how much food she had stored in them. After she finishes what she already has, she begins to eat again, albeit much slower. “Sorry.”

Kharis sighs. They just want the mermaid to be comfortable, not walking on eggshells. “You don’t have to be sorry. We’re just trying to make you feel better, okay?”

They were going to have to figure out some way to communicate, because Captain Sybil was too busy to serve as a permanent interpreter. Kharis would have to ask Nereia to teach them some Aquan eventually. But their first priority was making her feel safe and proving that The Marauders were nothing like the pirates that held her before. Eye contact should be the first step, once they get her needs met.

“I’m going to go get you some water, okay? Keep eating, I’ll be back.” Kharis’s wording seems to be simple enough, because Nereia nods in understanding. Kharis leaves to meet Shrew. 

By the time Kharis and Shrew return to the cabin, Nereia has moved on from the plantains to the bread rolls. The tub, especially when full, needs at least two pairs of hands to carry it. The two pirates set it down carefully, the saltwater rippling in response. 

Kharis carefully helps Nereia into the crew’s tub. Instead of the wooden oval one they found Nereia in, this one is deeper and more round. Her previous captors’ bathtub had forced her to rest her fin over the edge with how little she could curl up. At least this one will allow her to submerge her entire tail. 

“I hope the water feels good enough.”

“Thank you,” she mutters, sinking so that the water reaches her gills. “It is clean. And big. Feels very nice.”

Kharis hates that Nereia’s idea of “big” and “clean” is a moderately sized bathtub with fresh seawater in it. They knew that keeping her here on the ship was akin to what those other pirates did, but they had to remind themself that she could barely swim as-is. Who knows what sea monster or greedy land-dweller would find her alone and injured? Maybe Kharis can get their hands on a larger tub or tank from some merchant ship. Then Nereia will at least be able to stretch out until she can leave on her own.

Kharis walks into the hallway with Shrew to thank him for his help, and their closest friend looks at Nereia with a flash of pity. He offers Kharis a supportive pat on the back and says in a hushed voice, “Do you want me to tell Sibyl for you?”

“I’m sure she already knows,” Kharis muses, “But yeah, maybe you should…I think she should meet her tomorrow morning.” 

Shrew gives him that look. The one with raised eyebrows and an incredulous expression that says “you’re way in over your head, so don’t set your expectations too high.” Kharis rolls their eyes in response.

“Nereia doesn’t understand much Alman, so communication has been a little difficult.” Kharis keeps their voice hushed, despite the fact that Nereia would barely understand him anyways. The last thing Kharis wants is for the mermaid to think that they’re another cruel pirate that sees her as a prisoner. Or worse, a burden. 

“But I can make it work. Make her feel at least a little bit safe again, right?” Nobody was there to make Kharis feel safe after they came back to themself. Kharis didn’t deserve that, and Nereia definitely doesn’t deserve whatever she has gone through to make her so injured. So Kharis would return the favor that they never received. “She deserves that much.”

-

Later that evening, Kharis offers Nereia a change of clothes. Her previous shirt looked more like rags, and there were definitely some spare shirts lying around the ship. One of Kharis’s old tunics would work for now, and even though they outgrew it years ago, the supposedly form-fitting shirt is far too big on the mermaid. Her arms are thin and bony, where they should have filled out the quarter-length sleeves.

The pirates who held her captive had clearly not taken good care of her. Kharis has heard stories of tyrannical pirates who take “trophies” in the form of sentient beings who don’t look like your typical humanoid. They typically keep them pretty, as the shining treasure of their ship. If Nereia was treated this way, then what did they see her as? A punching bag? Kharis doesn’t want to think about the details, shaking their head and coming back to the present.

Nereia combs through the ends of her hair absentmindedly, staring through the porthole with tired eyes. Beyond it, the ocean stretches for hundreds of miles, and the sun has just begun to disappear over the horizon. Her arms rest on the edge of the tub, and she watches the window as if it’s a play. As Kharis stirs, she sits up and faces them. A knotted clump of hair falls over the left side of her face.

Kharis remembers the supplies they had retrieved earlier. “Would you like to brush your hair? It looks a little tangled, and I brought in a few things to help you feel more clean,” The half elf mimes brushing their own hair, and the mermaid’s eyes widen in appreciation. She nods, understanding his attempt at charades more than the Alman itself. 

“Okay, would you like to do it yourself?” Kharis grabs the spare hairbrush from a nearby table and offers it to the mermaid. “I also have some detangling oil to help make it smoother.” Nereia looks confused again, reaching for the brush with trembling hands. “Or, I could do it for you, if that would be easier.”

Nereia takes a moment to process the words, and then offers the hairbrush back to Kharis. Her eyes move downcast, seemingly embarrassed. 

“It’s alright. One step at a time.” Kharis assures her. They grab a bottle of Argan oil, and lather a few drops of it on their fingers. After taking a seat behind the tub, they gently begin to comb through the ends of Nereia’s hair, and she stiffens at the slight pulling. Kharis stops, “How does it feel? Please, tell me if it hurts.”

The mermaid shakes her head and whispers over her shoulder, “No, you keep going.”

The half-elf continues to work at some of the more stubborn tangles, and the mermaid leans into the bristles as they softly massage her scalp. Kharis wonders whether this is the first kind touch Nereia has felt in a long time. With the bruises on her arm and fearful furrowing of her brows, Kharis doubts that her former captors were ever gentle. 

They finish combing out most of the knots with argan oil and separate Nereia’s long, curly, teal-colored hair into two sections. They do a double-take. Multiple red welts the same size as cigar butts litter the back of her neck. Some are old, but others look frighteningly fresh. The ship’s surgeon would definitely have to look at her wounds; maybe they had some burn cream or disinfectant. That and her tail, which continues to shed scales around where the chain had been and appears red in patches. 

Kharis tries their best to brush through each section from the bottom up without touching the cigar burns. Once Nereia’s hair is detangled, the half elf weaves her newly soft hair into one braid. 

“Better?”

Nereia nods meekly as Kharis ties off the end of the braid with a ribbon. Despite her reluctance to make eye contact, the half elf can see the newfound life in her eyes. It’s amazing what a healthy meal, clean environment, and personal grooming can do for someone who has been denied it for so long.

Nereia’s eyes flick over to the single porthole in their cabin, and Kharis sees the stars beginning to stand out from the inky sky. It was getting late.  

The half elf moves to stand “Get some rest, and we can talk to our Captain,” noticing her tense at the word “Captain,” Kharis adds, “you can call her Sybil, alright? Most of the crew does, anyway.” Nereia nods hesitantly, and Kharis thinks it’s probably a good time to change the subject. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

After thirty seconds of silence, Nereia mutters a meek “No, thank you.” 

Kharis doesn’t think that’s true, but they won’t press. “Okay, well I’ll be in the next room over, just call out if you want anything. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” she fiddles with the torn hem of her shirt, “thank you.”

“Okay, you can blow out the candle whenever you want,” Kharis moves to the door and takes one last look at the mermaid sitting in their cabin. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Next time on Stem the Tide: Nereia finally meets the mysterious Three-Legged Sybil. Kharis tries to learn some Aquan.

Stem the Tide taglist: @annablogsposts @worstcasescenariolullaby @i-can-even-burn-salad (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!)

[writingbywatson]

Genshin Boys With A Dense Crush (Part 2)

Here is part 2~ so, the reason why I didn't include Bennett and Razor is the fact that I can never write for them, like IDK why but its just very hard for me. So yeah, sorry about that. Part 1 (Albedo, Childe and Diluc)

Chongyun

Dense + Dense = more dense

It was painfully obvious that Chongyun likes you but for some reason, he can’t quite figure that out for himself

But everyone around them knows

Xingqiu is actually on the road to writing a book about the two of you

Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei are betting on how long until Chongyun realizes his feelings

Chongyun doesn’t know why he likes to see you every day, wants to have meals with you, and why he gets uncomfortable when he sees you with another person and smiling at them

Maybe it was the work of g-

“Oh I like them” -Chongyun one day when he woke up

He consulted his best friend Xingqiu about this and Xingqiu just placed his books down and said “dear archons finally, it was getting very painful to watch”

So the two started planning a cute little confession scenario

Somewhere Xinyan and Yan Fei are crying because they lost the best but Yan Fei is arguing that betting was illegal and has no ground in the law… Yan Fei, you betted with your conscience please stop

Anyway!

The pair of best friends decided to go with a simple type of confession because less is more in Xingqiu’s books

It was going so well, a cute dinner and all of that

“I like you Y/N, can we be more than that?”

Oh is that Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei spying on both of you from the bushes? Why, yes indeed.

“You want to be best friends Chongyun? But don’t you have Xingqiu as your best friend already?” - you with your ever so innocent voice and expression

Chongyun is frozen in place

Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao and Yan Fei are betting again this time how many times will Chongyun get a friendzone

Kaeya

Someone revive him

He can’t take your dense nature anymore

This is Kaeya after all everything he does allude to something so WHY WON'T YOU GET IT STILL

“Oh, Kaeya? You like someone!? Can you introduce me to them?” - you asking excitedly upon hearing his and Rosaria’s conversation

Kaeya was pretty sure he was describing you

Rosaria is holding back her laugh, she can't breathe… SOMEONE SAVE HER

“I love them but this dense attitude is too much!” - Kaeya as he slams his fist on top of Diluc’s bar

“Have you tried wooing them?” - Diluc as his wiping a glass down, he's so nonchalant about this situation LMAO

“HAVE I TRIED?” - Kaeya sounding very offended

“How about getting a white bed sheet and painting “will you marry me Y/N” on it?” - Rosaria

“Yeah, they leave me no ch-”

“Sit down, don’t embarrass yourself like a child” - Diluc pushing his brother down to sit

“HOW WILL I GET MY FEELINGS ACROSS THOUGH!”

“Just confess, normally… like… a normal person” - Diluc

Kaeya decided that in two days time he was going to confess to you, two days because he needed to make sure it was perfect

But the moment he saw you laughing with some random guy all the planning was thrown out the window

“Meet me in front of the church when the sun rises” - Kaeya to you when he passes by you at the corridor of the headquarters

When you arrived, he made you stand at the flight of stairs in front of the church while he went down

He kneeled with his right knee touching the ground and he pulled a very neatly folded white sheet from his pocket

He unraveled it and wrote, “WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N?”

But even before you can react a thunderous shouting can be heard and a chuckle

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? I SAID CONFESS NORMALLY!” -Diluc

Thoma

I’m going to try but still little info on this new pyro husband

Thoma is a very understanding boy

He likes you so much that he's willing to wait

But damn has he been waiting long

He decided he was going to confess to you today as well!

“Y/N! I like you!” - Thoma

“I like you too! You are like my best friend!” - you

Every time this happens Thoma stress eats.

Ayaka is giggling because he has never seen her friend like this

He's trying his best for you to like him, he cooks for you, takes care of you, guards you, protects you…

WHAT IS HE DOING WRONG!?

“You know the festival is ongoing” -Ayato as he watches his sister’s friend mop around like a puppy who has been kicked. “Why don’t you try confessing properly and straight-forwardly there?”

That gave him an idea

He dragged to the talisman-wishing thing and told you that you two should make one

When the both of you were done, you should each other what you made and to your surprise, Thoma made a drawing of the both of you holding hands

“It’s not us being best friends forever” - he clarified

“It’s me hoping to spend many more years beside you as your lover.”

Venti

Barbatos aka Venti the Bard has been singing a lot of love songs lately

Especially when you were in the audience watching

He always likes your smile especially when you were watching him

So when the two of you were strolling around near the church of Monstad

He decided that he was going to confess today

Years of being alone and he finally get what Vanessa told him about meeting the right person

“Y/N, I love you-”

“Aww, Venti, I love you too!”

“Really?!” - Venti very excitedly

“Yeah! I love you as a friend! We’re like besties!”

Dvalin felt that

Andrius felt that

Hell even Vanessa felt that from Celestia

“Oh I got to go, bestie, I have something to do! See you tomorrow!”

Lately, the winds of Monstad have been depressing?

“I don’t understand! I thought they liked me back!” Venti his chugging his alcohol while Diluc looked at him in irritation

Diluc wants to kick him out but Venti is Monstad’s archon so he decided against it

“Venti! There you are!” - you

Venti hears your voice and because his drunk his happy instead of upset

He throws himself at you in an attempt of a sloppy hug

“Y/N! I love you~”

“I love you too, we are fr-”

“NO! I LOVE YOU LIKE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER I LOVE YOU! THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT IF YOU ASK ME TO FIGHT MORAX I WOULD!”

Xiao

When Xiao first had these feelings he was confused

He lived a long life and this was the first time in his life where when he sees someone his chest becomes constricted and warm

“Xiao! Do you like traveler!?” - you excitedly

Xiao felt a tightening in his chest not that good type but am i being stab right now type of tightening

His answer would usually be along the lines of no and he can’t have relationships with mortals

He usually has a lot more patience with you compared to others but hearing you say that he looks good with someone else just made something in him snap

He didn’t mean to shout at you nor did he mean it when he said you should leave him alone

That’s why he's waiting for you at Wangshun Inn, his loneliness grew into worry when after 2 days you weren’t back yet

Upon eavesdropping around he also found out that no one has seen you and your last known location was Mt. Hulao and he immediately began to worry because that place was prohibited to humans

“Are you looking for someone?” - Mountain Sharper appeared behind Xiao as he reached the top of Mt. Hulao. “Are you looking for a mortal perhaps?”

“How did-”

“-That mortal is pretty noisy, they don’t stop talking and they know you.”

Oh, the warm feeling in his chest is back because they were talking about him which means that they weren’t angry at him!

“Where are they!?” Xiao would realize and I swear to you his ready to break every amber rock around Mt.Hulao

“Calm down, they are currently collecting Qingxin flowers”

Right on cue, “XIAO!? IS THAT YOU!?” he heard your voice from behind him, when he saw you, he immediately rushes to you and hugs you

“What are you doing here!?” Xiao would ask, his voice was raised only because of relief

“Oh, I got lost! And Moon Sharper here saw me, we ended up chatting and I guess I forgot the time, he shared so many stories about y- WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ARE YOU HURT!?”

“I’m alright… I just… I m-miss…”

Moon Sharper is just looking at this scene and he knows he's about to spill the hottest tea next time the adeptus (idk plural form okay) have a dinner party

Xingqiu

At first glance, it might look like that he isn’t affected at all

But internal his boiling

WHY WERE YOU SO DENSE

IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIS CLAN'S TEACHING AND WHAT NOT HIS PROBABLY ABOUT TO ASK YOU FOR A FIGHT

“You’ll make a great husband someday Xingqiu, I know it! Your future wife would be so happy!”

“I want you to be my wife though”

“What was that?”

“NOTHING!”

He knows he needs to move so he can win your heart but how can he when you were dodging every advance he makes

What is more frustrating is that YOU ARE NOT EVEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE

As an author he wants to experience romance first hand, so he tries to be romantic about it but this was frustrating

He decided to pull his last technique from his sleeves

He lent you a very romantic book and between one of the pages he inserted a paper that read “I wish for you to be my muse.”

If that doesn’t work Xingqiu is going to ask you to fight him

Zhongli

Zhongli, Rex Lapis aka Morax has lived thousands of years

Yet this is the first time he encountered someone so dense at first he taught you were just kidding and pretending but when he described what he likes in someone which was pertaining to you

You simply said “WOW THEY SOUND WONDERFUL AND YOU MUST REALLY LIKE THEM BECAUSE YOU SOUND SO IN LOVE” at his face with genuine awe, there was no sign of you being flustered and whatnot

Hu Tao was there to witness this and the younger female had a good laugh when she witnessed this

Zhongli is now praying to Guizhong for help and patience

He first wondered if the reason for such behavior was because you dislike him but it wasn’t the case because you would always smile when you see him

Which makes his knees very weak

In heaven, all the dead gods are laughing at him

He has lived for so many years and yet he doesn’t know what to do because he wants to spend years with you

But a part of him says this isn’t right because his an immortal and you were a mortal, someday him being a former god would drive an enigma in the future

That’s why he was also hesitating on his part

“Zhongli, look-look! A merchant from Monstad gave me a Cecilia!” - you snapping him from his thought, he's a tall man so you had to tip-toe to put the flower in his hair

“There you look even prettier now!” - you smiling up to him

As you were withdrawing your hand, Zhongli grabs it and places it in front of his lips

“I love you Y/N”

[thetaekookcloset]

Jikooker here. :) I found your blog while I went through the Taekook search because, shocking I know, I still enjoy the bond Tae and Jungkook have although I don't see the relationship the way you do, which is completely fine to me. Normally I probably would've just passed by but your last anon ask you've answered made me stop. Because, while you've said it's fine that your anon is frustrated, this is the best way to fall into a toxic narrative and honestly? That's far from ok.

Jungkook is not uncomfortable with Jimin. That's a fact. If he was uncomfortable he wouldn't be with Jimin so much. He wouldn't be more at his room than at his own, so much that Tae even thought Jimin's room was Jungkook's. He wouldn't be out with Jimin on White Day with Jimin's friends. He wouldn't say that he feels the most connected when his eyes meets Jimin's on stage. He wouldn't call Jimin his catalyst. He wouldn't go on a trip with him where he organised the plane tickets and the hotel room. I could go on but I think I got my point across. :D

This whole narrative stems from their earlier years and was even wrong then. Jungkook teased Jimin a lot, true. But when called out by Jimin, Jungkook explained that he only teases him because he liked Jimin too much. When asked which hyung brings him the most comfort, Jungkook answered Jimin. He never was uncomfortable with him.

Does Jungkook have days where he's not too into physical affection? Yes. Absolutely. I'm not going to deny that. Sometimes he just don't wanna be touched and backs away if it gets too much for him. He does that with Jimin but he also does that with Taehyung. Does that mean though he's uncomfortable with Taehyung? Absolutely not. He loves Tae and is far from uncomfortable with him.

So it's honestly not fair to say Jungkook is uncomfortable with Jimin when he simply isn't. He loves Jimin too. And being frustrated with Jimin, when no one here knows Jungkook's boundaries or what is actually going on behind the scenes, is the best way to to fall into toxic narratives that cause so much hate for Jimin. That cause people to hate him, physically threaten him and even verbally attack his family. So maybe we could just not do it?

Everyone is free to ship whatever they wanna ship. You guys think Tae and Jungkook are in a relationship, I see them as best friends. You guys think Jimin and Jungkook are brothers, I think differently. And that's totally fine. Opinions don't have to be the same and in the end none of us know what they really are to each other besides them all being close.

So how about we enjoy all bonds? To your anon, if you feel frustrated, maybe take a step back and think about if Jungkook is actually the one being uncomfortable or if it's just you.

I hope you have a great day. :)

Oh geez, I was almost done writing up a big long answer to this and my computer crashed and I lost the whole thing.  I’m sorry but I really don’t have it in me to recreate the whole answer.  I’ll try to sum up.

1. People are entitled to interpret interactions however they like, and they’re entitled to their feelings about them.  This is my blog and I’m entitled to share and talk about what I like.  No one was being nasty or hateful so the post was not “far from okay.”

2. I never said or claimed that Jungkook is uncomfortable with Jimin in general.  In fact, I specifically said that their relationship seems “perfectly healthy and comfortable overall.”

3. Anon and I were talking about specific interactions between Jimin and Jungkook, not their relationship as a whole.  Moments like Jimin walking straight up to Jungkook and getting very close to him onstage, when Jungkook will cross his arms to put up a barrier between them, or even put his arm out to hold Jimin at bay.  Or moments like the “almost kisses” I see Jikookers bring up, where Jimin gets very close to Jungkook’s face and Jungkook reacts by stiffly pulling away and avoiding eye contact.  You don’t have to interpret these interactions the same way that I do, but they happen -- often -- and they certainly seem uncomfortable to me.

4. To reiterate: despite those interactions seeming uncomfortable to me, I do think Jungkook is comfortable with Jimin overall.  I just think that their relationship includes an element of play where they intentionally push each other, as I stated in my original post.

5. Not everyone has to enjoy every bond within BTS.  It’s dogmatic to insist that they do.  People are allowed their own thoughts, opinions, interpretations, etc.

6. It’s frankly foolish at best, insulting at worst, to imply that anyone who sees certain interactions as including an element of discomfort is getting that entirely from within themselves.  Again, those interactions happen, we’ve all seen them, and regardless of how you personally interpret them, there are other ways to do so, which are perfectly valid.  The idea that anyone who sees signs of discomfort between Jimin and Jungkook, at any time ever, is just uncomfortable themselves is oversimplifying it (because yes, we’re talking about feeling uncomfortable because it looks uncomfortable, and also because it’s perfectly natural for any two people to have moments of discomfort with one another, for any number of reasons).  And implying that there’s nothing there to see, that it’s all in their heads, is gross -- because, again, those interactions happen.

Now I know I said I’m open to talking about this topic, and that my ask box is open to any respectful questions, and I can tell that you were trying to be nice in your wording, but I have no interest in arguing about this in any sort of depth, so just be forewarned that it’s likely any additional asks will be deleted, especially if they get combative.

Finally, I just want to say that the idea that no one can talk about things that bother them within BTS because it could lead to adopting “toxic narratives” is just silly.  Anon wasn’t saying anything bad, they were processing their own feelings.  There’s nothing wrong with doing that.  You can’t dictate what people do and don’t talk about, and you certainly can’t dictate how people feel.

[undertaker1827]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write a Headcanon of Undertaker seeing S/o past Self-Harm scars? Please and thank you!

Of course! I believe you said fluff prompts 1 & 14 before so I included those too. I hope this is what you were looking for. Also I got a tad carried away and did a story instead of headcanons, hope you don’t mind!

❗️Warnings; Obviously self harm, please don’t read if this upsets you at all. Quite angsty all the way through as well, but hurt/comfort too. ❗️

Masterlist

-

You could feel the nausea climbing up the back of your throat as you sat on one end of Undertaker’s old, comfortable sofa, pressed against the arm as if you were trying to disappear into it. You hardly even realised you were ringing your hands so viciously that your knuckles were turning white and your fingertips red, but even when you noticed, you found you couldn’t stop. You needed to tell him. It was an old part of your life by now but a part nonetheless, something he needed to know. You trusted him with it, knew he wouldn’t share such a private part of your life with another living soul, but that didn’t mean you wanted to have this conversation.

It had been a long time coming and you were tired of feeling like you were hiding something from him, though your mind tried to tell you it wasn’t hiding if he didn’t know to begin with. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe it. You took quiet calming breaths, waiting for your partner to finish the tea he was making in the kitchen and bring it inside. He would place the cups down on the weathered oak coffee table in front of you, sit down on the small sofa with enough room between you that you didn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable. Undertaker would lift up an arm with a quirky grin, and if you felt tat you wanted to cuddle with him, you would. If not, you tended to just glance away with an apology on your lips, only for the reaper to make a joke out of it before you had the chance to say sorry, drawing a laugh from your lips in spite of yourself.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts and attempts to remain calm that you didn’t notice the man in question come in, nor did you see the sad look clouding his eyes that he kept hidden behind his bangs. He knew what your behaviour meant; he’d seen it in too many people to many times before. Too often in himself.

“Are you alright?”

Your whole body flinched at the gentle words, hands clenching together in your lap as you tried to act like you weren’t tense all over. The mortician’s voice lacked its usual, slightly maniacal qualities, instead it was lower and serious, far more calming than normal. You tried to open your mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out. You could neither pretend you were alright or admit the truth, that you weren’t, and you stayed still for so long that Undertaker put the tea down anyway. It was the subtle shift of the sofa beneath you when he sat down that finally snapped you out of it and you turned quickly towards him, searching his wall of hair for where you thought his eyes were.

“Please just hold me,” you murmured, and Undertaker wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards him, cradling you against his chest. He let out a quiet sigh at how badly you were shaking against him, fingertips digging into his shoulders but he couldn’t care less.

“Why are you trembling?” He asked in reply, voice unimaginably soft. His hands ran soothing patterns up and down your back as you prepared yourself for what you were going to say, but the well-practiced words were nowhere to be found in your mind. You gave a sigh of your own before deciding to just show him. You leaned back a fraction and grabbed a portion of your long sleeve and pulled it back to your elbow, turning you unsteady wrist over to reveal silvery rows of straight scars marring your skin, reaching up your forearm. You hadn’t shown them to anyone else. The reaper’s ribs expanded quickly beneath you as he took in a sharp breath, close enough to be able to see your arm clearly even with his terrible eyesight.

“Oh sweetheart,” he muttered, arms constricting around you almost immediately as he left a kiss on top of your head, lingering there a moment as you hid the marks away again, then tucked your head down so you didn’t have to look at him. They were long healed over, but it was obvious how deeply everything was still affecting you, the state you must of been in at the time. He knew how that felt, and a familiar hollow feeling welled up in his chest at the thought that you’d had to experience it too.

“Thank you,” he whispered after a long time of silence, lips stirring your hair just a little, “for trusting me. For being brave enough to show me. I know how difficult it is to take that step love, but you did it. And I’m so proud of you.”

You couldn’t stop the tears starting to line your eyes at his heartfelt words and as the first supressed sob escaped your lips, he pulled you impossibly closer. Neither of you kept track of how long you stayed there, but at the end of it, you couldn’t help but feel just a little lighter within yourself. There was no quick cure for this and you knew it all too well, but you also knew you’d taken this first step, and that there was a road to recovery that you would be able to follow, Undertaker beside you all the way.

[zodiyack]

Smile

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cuteness?, fluff, swearing, no proofreading

Words: 2,191

Summary: A cold winter’s night gives Tommy inspiration to go for the woman he desires. After all, what gentleman would let a lady walk home in the teeth chattering cold?

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @captivatedbycillianmurphy​, @stydia-4-ever​, @simonsbluee​, @marquelapage​, @stuckysslag​, @darling-i-read-it​, @psychkunox​, @peakyxtommy​, @jenepleurepasbaby​, @thewarriorprincessxo​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @fandom-puff​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist | Cillian Murphy Masterlist

The woman who worked with his family, sitting at the front of the betting shop despite being someone who should never have to see what horrors the Shelbys have. She was the one Tommy dreamt of the few times he’d actually been able to sleep. His heart thundered as he passed her, waving a hand with a kind and welcoming smile, a genuine one at that. His family could tease him all they’d like, but Y/n L/n had stolen Thomas’ heart and he was perfectly fine with that.

However, he wasn’t the best at telling her so. He could talk to her just fine but telling her he fancied her... Y/n was far too innocent. Sure, she wasn’t literally innocent but he couldn’t bear to bring her into the shit-show disguised as “family-business”. The smile she returned to him every time he passed her only reminded him of that.

“Mr. Shelby? You-” His head perked up, expression of deep thought washing away at the sound of her soft voice. Oh, her beautiful voice. It serenaded him without either of the two even realizing it.

“Again, please Y/n, call me Tommy.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he let out a small chuckle, “I promise. Now, what about me?”

“Um... Oh! Yes! You have a visitor. I assume it’s about some Peaky Business so I told them I’d get you.”

Tommy nodded. “Thank you, Y/n.” His eyes had been fixated on her long enough to notice more about her appearance than he had a  The pink on the tip of her nose, the slightest hue of blue on her lips. “Y/n...come here please.”

“Alright...” She did as she was told. A small nervous feeling bounced around in her gut, alarm bells ringing. Tommy was hard to read, but the request scared her more. Ada was the one who got her the job, Tommy was the one who let her keep the job. Was he having second thoughts?

Before another worrying thought could make its way to her head, Tommy swung his coat over Y/n’s shoulders. A little sigh of relief, yet also a gasp of surprise, escaped Y/n’s lips as the coat began to envelope her in its warmth. Caught in the moment, her eyes flicked to Tommy’s, his to hers. They just stared. And yet, neither of them minded.

His face... It was like a Greek god, or an angel maybe? So imperfectly perfect.

That’s what he was.

She thought about his smile, not currently visible, but always on her mind. It looked so handsome, so charming, and, dare she say, pretty. His smile brought hers to her face. Even if it was hiding in the pits of the darkest, deepest, smallest hiding place on a bad day, his own called hers to the surface almost instantly.

The beautiful blue of Tommy’s orbs, like sapphires sparkling in the light that bounced off them or a mad ocean; the rage secretly a symphony as each wave crashed and washed away, a symphony only those who stopped to listen, actually listen, could hear. She had so many words and ways to describe the almost child-like look in his eyes, full of a hidden innocence ironically enough, but a knock at the door tore them away from her before they even reached her mouth.

 “Mr. Shelby? If you and your...uh...friend are done here, I have some business to talk with you.” The man was impatient. Luckily, his scare drew an instant reaction from Y/n. She had hurriedly turned around to face the guest with a flushed expression across her face the moment the door swung open. With her attention elsewhere, she missed the wince the man elicited from Tommy when he called Y/n his “friend”.

“Yes. We’re done. Y/n, you may go back to your work now.” He excused her with the same lift of his lips he’d always given her, only this time, the corners of his mouth were a little higher, a little closer to his eyes. This was progress.

A thin sheet of snow, white as angel’s wings, cloaked Small Heath. The waters were slick with ice. The cold wrapped its arms round Birmingham, Mother Nature hoping to warm her children and herself regardless of her cold skin. It nipped at the tips of noses like she was booping her finger against them in attempt to draw a smile from her shivering children.

Tommy cursed to himself. It felt so much colder than it did at the start of the day- one person on his mind upon the realization. Y/n had left a little prior to Thomas, just like she did every other day. Her reddened nose, her trembling lips as her teeth subtly and silently chattered, her fragile form even more so with her arms wrapped around her and Tommy’s coat in attempt to gain warmth. The images never seemed to leave his brain, especially not when she returned his coat.

He began to walk home, still focused on Y/n. Pondering up a variety of situations, good and bad, he tried to reassure himself. Constant anxiety was not new for Tommy. He worried for his family, for his friends- for Y/n... Too much was on his mind but he couldn’t seem to shake any of it off.

Although he was looking straight ahead- looking where he was going, he wasn’t entirely paying attention. A grunt slipped from his throat as he walked into someone, knocking them over and causing him to stumble. Normally, he’d just tell them to watch it, but as he regained focus on what’s in front of him rather than what’s been bothering him, he paused.

She too was surprised, having literally been knocked off her feet by none other than Thomas fucking Shelby. Her head jerked upwards to see who had walked into her, a similar intensity as Tommy’s. But she softened as well, untensing when his face, those baby blue gems, came into her view. He looked so puzzled, so...guilty.

“Fuck!” He was quick to drop the ground and help her up, checking her for any form of injury. “Are you alright, Y/n?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Are you alright? You look frightened-”

“I wasn’t paying any attention to my surroundings, I must’ve walked right into you. You know I didn’t mean for that to happen, love? It was purely on accident. Is there any way I can make it up to you? Anything at all?”

“Tommy. It’s alright.” The way she said his name was comforting. Her voice was soothing as usual. Her hand came to his upper arm, a relaxed and friendly grip. She gave him a squeeze, letting him know she meant it, that she was serious. “But, before I answer your second question, please, answer mine.”

Thomas was ready to ignore her, lips already parting to ask her again, but the sincerity of her concerned demeanor crumbled the facade he’d put up. He released a heavy sigh, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m just- ...worried.” It took a lot for him to admit some things, but the feeling of relief that surged through him after he told her...it felt like she took the burden from his shoulders.

“About what?”

He looked around for a minute and then suddenly stopped. Now that he thought about it, they weren’t that far from his place. He looked back to her. Her form was just as cold as it was this morning, the color of her lips had darkened, likely from longer time in colder weather.

“How about this. You come with me, to my place, we warm you up, get you a cup of tea, and then I’ll tell you.”

“W-what? No, Tom, you don’t have to-” There it was again. His name. She was like a siren, luring Thomas Michael Shelby, the helpless sailor, his name entwined with her voice- her melody. Her form did not change, as it was her he desired most.

“No, I do. I’m the reason you were on the ground, I’m the reason you’re covered in snow, but I’ll be damned if I become the reason you freeze to death out here.”

“I won’t-”

“You live quite some distance away,” his final attempt, a pleading sigh to mark it as so, and he was determined to make it a strong one, “...at least let me drive you home.”

She looked to be in serious contemplation of his offer, biting her lip and rocking back in forth to collect some warmth from movement before she returned her eyes to his. “...Fine.”

“I’d still like to get you warmed up though, so you can’t turn me down about that, yeah?”

The air escaping her parted lips could just barely be seen. Huddled by the fire, wrapped in Tommy’s sheets with a mug in her hands resting close to her face, the sinister chill was retreating from her body. Tommy felt his heart speed as he watched her. It felt...right. It felt right to have her be safe and warm, just as it felt right to have her there, with him.

Though a number of feelings were checked as “right”, there was a rather large one that didn��t. There was a feeling that wasn’t right, that hadn’t been satiated. His feelings for her poked at him, urging him to kiss her, hug her, ask her, to do something! Anything!

“You going to tell me what was on your mind, or was that just a trick to get me to accept your ride home, Mr. Shelby?” The grin that was present on her lips could be practically be heard as she asked the question.

“Not a trick, I promise.” His chuckle brought a chortle to Y/n’s mouth. He walked to the fire, sitting beside her. “I’ll tell you. But first...you have to promise me something.”

“Yes, anything.”

“Promise me that you won’t go spreading my business where it doesn’t need to be.” He took a deep inhale, exhaling it as he prepared to speak his next request involving her reaction. “And promise me this won’t affect our relationship.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “...I-...  I promise, but, ...I don’t understand how it could make a change between us?”

“It just...” He lifted his hands, scanning his brain for the right words. His hands dropped, making a small sound as they hit his thighs, the sound hidden only slightly by his sigh. “It just can.”

“How so? I mean, surely it’s-”

“I was worried about you.”

“O-oh? Thank you, that’s very-”  She didn’t understand. But how could he blame her with her lack of context?

“No. I was worried about you because I seem...” a pause to get it out. “I seem to have fallen in love with you.” He looked into the fire with an intensity. He looked at it as if looking at her would make him crumble on the spot. The moments passing by without any response from her made the fire so much more entertaining. Tommy Shelby couldn’t be scared by much, he’d already been through war, but this? It scared him.

A part of him wanted to look at her, see the reaction just in case it was just a lack of verbal response...but another part didn’t want to face the disappointment. Y/n was a nice woman and Tommy could never bring himself to hate her. Losing her would be hard, but seeing her at work would be harder. Tearing her from the job she cherished would be harder. He couldn’t do that to her.

Luckily, “Your eyes are so pretty...” he didn’t have to. “Your eyes, your smile-  everything about you has the stars jealous of its beauty. Personally, I wondered if our lips would meet. Today, in your office. It took everything in me not to surge forward, taste your lips on mine.” She snickered lightly, “Excuse my bluntness.”

“I like your bluntness. I only wish I’d been gifted with it.” He joined in, turning to face her, finally. He took a moment to admire the way her features looked in the orangey light from the fire. His eyes, observing her face with great interest, traveled to her lips before flicking back up to hers.

“Is that so?... Well, Tommy, now’s a good time to be blunt.”

“Pardon?”

She’d seen it. Fixated, just like him, on his eyes, specifically. “If you want to kiss me, just say so.” She’d caught him, easily with how entranced they both were.

He thought to himself. What’s blunter than saying he wanted to kiss her?

It happened in one swift motion. One second she was giving him a smug quirk of her brow, the next, her lips her locked with his. They pulled away, slowly and hesitatingly. “That was...as blunt as I could be.”

A laugh erupted from her. The sound sweeter than the songbirds. Then, Tommy smiled. Even if he wouldn’t be her target, in a boat on a restless sea, he knew, without a single doubt, that he’d go to her willingly. In fact, he did. And upon reaching the siren, perched on a sturdy ledge-like-rock, he realized she meant no harm. Tommy smiled. The smile reached his eyes.

[kumzume]

control ft. tsukishima kei

wc. 1.5k words (and it’s still ass??? a crime)

warnings. SMUT, bad writing lmao, blowjob, whiny kei, (male) masturbation, caught(??) masturbating if you squint, also abrupt ending, way too much exposition, not enough hornknee

an. writing this was like pulling teeth and it is BAD 😀 i am having a writing crisis & this is just the nail in the coffin LMAO anyways this is for @bokuhub (we talked abt it on my main blog but im so sorry ajdhks maybe i’ll write something better later <3)

kei hates feeling out of control.

it’s the reason he’s kept the same circle of friends for the past 5 years, same reason he hasn’t changed his favorite dessert order for even longer than that, and the same reason he is terrified to let you breach the wall between friends and more.

it isn’t that he doesn’t trust you—he does, with his life—but you make him feel things he’s never felt before. kei has had crushes before and he knows that this isn’t that. never in his life has he been so willing to try new things, to meet new people, to give up the control he so desperately needs and it scares him.

he’s scared to become vulnerable and open himself up to rejection or even worse, the loss of your friendship.

so, he ignores it. he pushes down his feelings of almost-but-not-fully-love for you in favor of being close to you.

the closeness, unfortunately, is also a major problem.

growing up, kei had very few friends and even fewer romantic prospects due to his callous attitude and piercing words. he’s only been kissed twice and both of those were with yamaguchi (they were thoroughly unenjoyable kisses, the both of them being 13 and never having kissed anyone else before) but he isn’t exactly ashamed of his status as an unexperienced adult virgin. it just doesn’t help his attraction to you in the slightest.

he realized early on in your “relationship” that you are very affectionate. tight hugs, forehead kisses, holding hands, and cuddling on the couch while watching movies were all normal things for you to initiate with kei on any given day. and on any given day, he would dart out of your hold with a blush on his face and a half assed excuse with a large hand covering his crotch.

he didn’t mean to get hard. it’s just, you were you, gorgeous, kind, and funny and when your soft, small hand (oh god, your hand is so much smaller than his; he wonders how it would look wrapped around his cock) finds its way in his, it’s like his body doesn’t know how to respond so it sends copious amounts of blood to his head and to his crotch.

it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable but you never seem to mind, giggling behind your hand as he darts off to fuck his fist in your bathroom for the third time this week.

this happens to be one of those times, all these thoughts clouding his mind as he stands hunched over your toilet, thrusting into the tight ring of his hand like his life depends on it. all you had done was laugh and he felt himself thicken in his boxers.

kei shakes his head, his blond strands sticking to the sweat on his forehead as he chases his high in the comfort of his hands. kei hates thinking of the way you affect him so easily, his touch-starved body craving you like an animal craves water. but he just can’t help it. thinking of you standing outside the bathroom, listening to his self pleasure and touching yourself or even better, waiting to burst in and look down on him in disgust. it’s that thought that pushes him over the edge, his whole body tensing as he paints rope after rope of cum on the porcelain seat.

kei quickly flushes the evidence of his crime down the toilet before going to wash his hands in your sink. he can hardly look at himself in the mirror, the guilt eating up his spine. is he really that desperate that he can’t hold off masturbating until he goes home? yes. the answer is yes.

he sighs and leaves the bathroom only to run right into you just outside the door. his heart rate picks up in his chest as you look him over with a sweet smile on your face, your eyes lingering on his flushed cheeks.

did you know what he had done? were you going to curse at him? kick him out? or—

“cmon kei, you were in there for forever! we need to study, stupid.” he releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding as he follows you into your bedroom, watching as you plop down on your bed and lie down on your back. your shirt rides up on your torso, giving tsukishima a good view of your soft skin and fuck, he feels himself getting hard again.

luckily, you don’t seem to notice his reaction, your eyes trained on your ceiling as a contemplative look crosses your face. “i heard you, yknow,” you say, your tone light but kei can hear an undercurrent of accusation in your words. he freezes, his golden eyes darting towards to door, calculating how much time it would take for him to bolt out the door and into his car to never see you again and—

“i didn’t mind it. your moans are pretty,” you continue, your eyes finally resting on the man in question who looks about ready to sink into the floor.

oh. oh.

kei can hardly think, let alone speak as you rise off your bed and make your way towards him, your eyes holding a glint of something he’s never seen from you before. it only takes a few strides before you’re right in front of him, gazing up into his frames through your lashes as though you’re the embarrassed one.

one of your (small) hands makes its way to hold his face and he feels like he might die, his heart is beating so fast. you give him a small sweet smile that is in direct contrast to your other hand trailing down his body to rest on his belt buckle.

if kei wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now.

you don’t move your hand from its place on his pants as your eyes focus on his bright pink face and plush bottom lip worrying in between his straight white teeth. he looks terrified and you find it in yourself to feel a little bit bad about what you’re about to do.

“kei honey?” all you get in response is a high whimper from the back of his throat and judging by the way his eyes widen and his cheeks burn even brighter, you figure that reaction wasn’t quite anticipated. you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face as your thumb reaches to pull his lip from in between his teeth, the appendage stroking over the soft, bitten skin there.

you don’t consider yourself easily surprised but when kei pulls your thumb into your mouth, sucking on it while gently laving his tongue around it, you feel your knees weaken as a wave of slick paints your underwear. “oh baby... you want me to ruin you, don’t you?”

oh fuck.

kei did want that, more than you could ever know but due to the finger in his mouth and his pounding heart, he found himself unable to answer with anything but a nearly imperceptible nod. thankfully, you saw it and are more than willing to give him what he wants.

carefully, you lead him to your bed, the hand on his belt tugging him until he’s lying back on your covers, gazing at you as though you’re the only person in the world. you feel your heart clench a little at the implications in his eyes but you quickly ignore it to focus on unbuckling his belt.

he’s hard and leaking through his boxers when you finally remove his pants, a quivering sigh leaving his mouth at the cold air hitting the dampness above his tip. when you manage to tear your eyes away from his big (holy shit, was he always that big??) cock and onto his face, the look he gives you has your clit throbbing.

“yn,” kei whines, high and breathy. “p-please touch me- ah, ah, fuck!” his words (and thoughts) are entirely cut off by the sensation of your warm, wet mouth engulfing his dick. he’s so big, you can only take him halfway but what you can’t take down your throat, you pump with your hand.

a litany of curses and moans slip from his lips as you pull up off of him to suck on the sensitive head before taking him all the way back to the hilt. one of his hands jerks to your head to grab a hold of your hair. “holy shit, i-i think i’m going to—yn-“

with only that as a warning, thick cum spills into your mouth, so much that you nearly choke before pulling off of him and stroking him through his orgasm. it takes him a moment to stop cumming, his chest heaving with the intensity of his high.

once you’re sure he’s done, you crawl up the bed until you’re lying next to kei, one of your hands finding it’s way into his hair. his eyes flutter shut at the gesture while he leans into your touch, not realizing how exhausted he is.

with a kiss to the forehead, kei falls asleep, entirely out of control and entirely in love.