#Also I will be more than happy to do art for anyone that donates

[aidaronan]

The years go by. The retail jobs that Steve thinks are temporary keep piling up, but he has no idea what else to do with his life so he just keeps on keeping on.

Until a large tree falls on the lawn of the little house he managed to buy and he gets the quote on removal and the number literally hurts his soul.

He buys a small chainsaw instead. Over the course of a few weeks, he gets most of the branches cut up. He collects some large rocks from down by the quarry and digs out a fire pit in his backyard. On his days off, his friends come over and they sit out back and have a few beers. The pile of wood dwindles. The giant trunk is another story though. His chainsaw isn't big enough for it. Burning it would take forever, and Steve's terrified he'd disappoint Smoky the Bear. He's at a loss.

Until he sees another giant trunk in someone's yard carved into a bear.

He knows what to do then. Not a bear, but something else. Through trial and error, the trunk becomes the rough shape of a woman, the remnants of the branches like a crown on her head. It's not as amazing as the bear he saw, but it's his. He finds he loves the smell of sawdust and the feeling of creating something.

Just like that, Steve realizes what he wants to do. It takes several months and a lot of yard sales, but he scrounges up the tools he needs to start woodworking. He learns to measure twice and cut once. He makes tables and chairs and carves them with art and designs that get better and better the more he learns. Shockingly, people actually buy his pieces.

Even more shocking comes the realization that he's making enough money to do it full time. He puts in his two weeks notice at Melvald's and hands in his assistant manager badge.

He's not sure he's happy, but he is content. It feels good to work hard and actually have things to show for it. It also feels good to work muscles he hasn't used since high school. He carries on for a few years like that, creating and learning and creating some more. Then Eddie Munson blows back into town. Invited back so Hawkins can have their most famous alumnus sing the national anthem at homecoming. Steve's honestly surprised he shows at all. "Can't believe you didn't tell them kiss your hairy ass," Steve says. Because of course Eddie ends up around his fire pit, sipping on Steve's cheap beer like he doesn't have three Grammy awards on his mantel. The years fall away with each drink, reminding Steve of just how much it had hurt when Eddie left. He'd wanted Eddie so bad back then, more than he'd ever wanted anyone. He can feel the echoes of that deep ache across time.

"Pfft. Don't you know all famous people wax our asses now? All the rage in LA." Eddie cuts a look at him and smirks when Steve rolls his eyes, grateful for the lighthearted moment to snap him out of his maudlin nostalgia. "Really though I thought about it, but then I thought it would be way funnier to donate a metric fuckton of money to Hawkins High with the stipulation that it go to the theater and band programs. Kind of bummed they couldn't honor my other request though."

"Which was?"

"My old Hellfire throne. I miss her, but apparently she's not around anymore. Something about water damage."

"Oh yeah. Water main busted a few years back and flooded the theater. I remember that." "Yeah. Had to settle for the promise they'd make a game lounge and stock it with all the supplies a budding young nerd needs."

"That's really nice, Eds."

Eddie shrugs. "I've been known to be nice on occasion. You'll come to homecoming, right? Moral support?"

Steve hasn't been to homecoming in years because he sees the other people who stayed in town all the time, and he has no interest in seeing the people who didn't. He can only answer the same questions so many times. Oh, I'm doing woodwork now. Yep, I still live right here. Nope, still not married, no kids.

He goes though, and he answers the uncomfortable questions. Because Eddie asked him to. Because no matter how long it's been, Steve can't deny that some part of him still...

He says goodbye after, and Eddie leaves again, and Steve tries not to think about that too much in the following days.

He's halfway into the project before he realizes what he's building. He'd seen Eddie's throne quite a few times back when. What he doesn't have memories of, he makes up. He adds his own touches too, making it a throne fit for a rock star, a nerd, a friend.

He carves ornate patterns, he creates scenes of dragons being beaten back by a man with a guitar, crowds of people that could be knights or concertgoers.

It's his favorite piece he's ever done, and his hands are shaking when he dials Eddie's number. He gets an answering machine and stumbles through a message.

"I made you something. I guess it's kind of silly, but it's here in Hawkins if you want it. Or I'm sure you can afford the shipping if you don't want to come. Just, I made you a chair. It's more of a... Well, you'll see. Unless you don't want to... It's Steve by the way." He hangs up before he can embarrass himself even more.

Eddie doesn't call him back. One day passes and then another. Steve tries not to let it get to him. He works on orders and new projects. He enjoys his little backyard oasis. He rents a few movies and thinks they're okay.

He's debarking some wood in his driveway when the rental car pulls up, Eddie stepping out in ripped jeans and an old Metallica tee. "Hi again, Stevie."

"Oh." Steve clears his throat. "The thing's in the garage. I'll..."

Eddie doesn't say anything for a long time, circling the throne, running his tattooed fingers over each little detail.

"You made this whole thing?"

"I did."

"For me?" Eddie looks at him then, one hand still touching the wood like he doesn't want to let go. Even under the harsh lights of the garage, his eyes are such a warm shade of brown that Steve forgets to breathe.

He nods. "For you."

"Why?"

There are a hundred answers Steve could give, but he spent so long not knowing who he was or who he wanted to be. Too long. "Because you'll always be the one that got away. Because some part of me will always want to make you smile no matter how long it's been."

Eddie falls into the throne like he just got the wind knocked out of him.

"You don't have to respond to that," Steve says. "You can just say thank you and take the chair."

"I can." Eddie blows out a breath. "But that would be incredibly stupid considering half my early ballads are about you."

"What?" Unfair. Steve doesn't have a chair to fall into.

"Oh sure, I changed the hes to shes for a while there because..." Eddie waves his hand. "But they're about you, Steve. God, I should've asked you out. I just thought..."

Hearing those words is a lot like seeing that carved bear all over again, something clicking into place that wasn't quite right before.

"Go out with me now then," Steve says. "Or stay in. I've got a frozen lasagna and I rented Contact."

"Steve Harrington? Asking Eddie 'the Freak' Munson on a date? Did hell freeze over?"

"Pfft." Steve takes a step closer toward what he wants most. "Hell froze over in 1986, Eddie. You were there."

Five months and a lot of long distance phone bills later, Steve opens Harrington Woodworking in Los Angeles. That same day, Eddie takes photos for Rolling Stone posing in an ornate throne in his living room. He tells the reporter exactly who made it and what he means. At concerts, he starts singing those ballads the way he always wanted to. More often than not, Steve stands in the wings singing along.

[yuyu1024]

Escape

Pairings: Yoongi × y/n

Genre/tags: Arranged marriage

Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, mention of food/eating, cursing, sensual touching, making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, lies, kink, unprotected sex, Smoking, jealousy, insecurity, mention of weight&food/eating, oral (m/f receiving), mention of blood/violence

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 5.8k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continuation of Prisoner.

I hope this is a good part 2. 🙏🏻 took me a while coz idk if i should or not. 😅 sorry guys.

(This may continue a bit more...? But please be patient 🙏🏻 as I do have work & usually I try to write before i sleep but lately i've beeen so tired and drained that I cant even function 😅)

***

Another day, another event to go to. You are wearing your best 'pretend' smile. The smile you have practiced for months, to be your default expression whenever you meet anyone in any formal event. It's not that your trying to be fake. You just want to represent your husband the best that you can. And being a shy person, this is what you can do to help yourself.

Although, you wish, that even just one time, Yoongi would show up to these events with you.

At the first month of your marriage, he did. He did that to introduce you to everybody. You could still remember how you two were holding hands and always together. Those were the days when you have spent so much time with him.

But... Now, it's just always you. Alone. Amongst everyone in the whole place, you are the only one who always arrives with no partner.

"Excuse me?"

You twirl around and find the prettiest girl you think you have ever seen in your life. She looks like a goddess.

"Ahm, yes?" Your voice sounded so weak. You haven't said a word in the last hour.

"You are the only one wearing a corsage with a hint of lilac flowers in it... I'm guessing... you are Yoongi's wife?" She asks

"Ah, yes. I am." You look down at the flower pinned on your chest

She's smiling at you. She looks sort of happy to see you. "Finally... I've met you."

You haven't said a word. You are not sure how to approach this. You have no idea who she is and why is she approaching you. Plus, You are sort of intimidated by her. She is a beautiful, a sophisticated woman. She have this energy from her that says she is different than anyone else. You could feel your difference with her. Though you are covered with all highend brands of clothing and accessories. You can still see it.

"Oh, sorry... if I'm invading your personal time..." she says, "I am a friend of Yoongi... well... an old friend... from University" she explains. "Sarang."

"Oh." You smile and bow. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N... I'm sorry... I've not met any of his friends yet so...I didn't know..."

"It's fine. I understand."

She looks like she came from a regal family, the same level as Yoongi. Also, her beauty.... takes your breathe away. She remind you of how you reacted the first time you saw Yoongi. In awe.

"Thank you for coming here also..." she says as she walks you around the gallery. "I hope you find something to your liking here that... would be a part of your home or either a gift to anyone you love."

As you two talk more, you learned that she's the one that threw this charity event. She gathered all these arts from known artists, to auction. She says that 100% of the earnings from it will go to the children's hospital that she have been donating ever since.

You have just met her and you are already at amazed by her. Not by just her prominent looks but also the way she talks and speaks her mind is very inspiring and uplifting. Because of her words you find it easy buying two items in the collection. You know all of the money will go and be used for something good.

You chose the items, the two that caught your attention the moment you entered the gallery. Both are paintings of a beautiful flowerfield which reminds you of your past. The field where you would always go with your friends and have picnic during summer break.

Such beautiful memory that you wish you could've not taken for granted. You wish you could re-live those moments again. And the paintings, those paintings you chose might go well in your own study room.

"It's nice meeting you..." she says, cutting you from reminiscencing your past

"Thank you too for inviting us.. though... my husband couldn't come..."

She smiles, lips pressed together. "He hasn't changed at all. Not very social and just focused on just working..."

Hmm.. The way she talks, the way she describes your husband is very detailed. She seem to know him pretty well. 'They are friends' you say to yourself but then at the back of your mind, a thought, just a tiny thought about him and her, is peaking through.

'Is she an ex of his?'

'If not an ex... probably... someone who liked him?'

I know, this is no place nor time to think about these but you can't help it.

Look at her and then you look at yourself. You two are totally opposites. From status to looks. And probably from personaly to intelligence. She is more than you. She is perfect. You think that he and Yoongi might or will get along more than you and him.

"Ahm... I ahm..." you start to feel uncomfortable with all of your self pity thoughts. You need to get a hold of yourself. "Sorry... I'll... I'll just go to the bar and have some drink..." you say as you clutch on to your dress.

"Oh. Okay." Sarang says. "You want me to accompany you...?"

You shake your head, "No... thank you... don't mind me... please go ahead and tour the rest of the guest." You say pointing at the newly arrived guests.

You turn around immediately before she could response again.

This is weird. You're not sure why you suddenly have the urge to drink. Even though you don't drink. Also because, you can't. Literally, can't.

You only drink red wine when you are offered to drink, by Yoongi of course. It's only when he asks you to join him during nights when he needs company or if you two are to discuss things about the family.

You don't drink also because you are a lightweight. You get tipsy and red easily. One time when you had more than three glasses of red with your husband, you instantly changed personality. You have no idea how and what changed besides the stories that your maid said the day after which were embarassing.

You have no recollection of anything besides the fact that you were on the sofa, inside Yoongi's home office, butt naked and only have Yoongi's blazer on you.

"Mrs. Min, what can I get you?" The cute guy behind the bar asks as you reach your destination.

"How... do you know who I am?"

He smiles, "We had the lists of the guests coming tonight... with photos." He pours water into a glass

"With details...? who can and cannot drink... I suppose?"

He nods. "Your husband noted... to not serve any alcohol to you Miss."

"Even... I want to? Or... pay?"

"I'm sorry Miss..." he says, "If you like we can offer you our non-alcohol champagne?"

You sigh heavily. You badly want to drink. Even just one glass to calm yourself. But...you can't. Yoongi have rules and you cannot avoid and disobey them.

He does give you the freedom to do whatever you want but when it comes to what not to do or what he likes, he have a handful.

1. Don't cut your hair short

2. Don't drink when he's not present nor ordered by him

3. Don't leave the house without atleast one body guard

4. Don't wear perfume (he gets dizzy)

5. Use the safeword during sex

And etc.

The rules are quite simple. Nothing to weird nor to hard to follow. It's just you compromising. And also, you do have a hard time saying no to Him.

"Thanks." You mumble, sighing as you take the glass of water and walk away from the bar.

After figuring out you can't drink to calm yourself, you decide to just go somewhere outside, away from the crowd and peaceful to get fresh air. Lucky you, you found an exit that leads you to the garden.

As time have gone by, you're not sure how long have you been there, staring at the fountain, the flowers and even starring down at your feet every now and then. You thought being out here will leave your head empty. Not worrying about anything. But then you'd catch yourself pouting and comparing yourself to all the ladies you have seen in the event, especially the last person you have talked to.

Your self pity and low self-esteem is thriving today than usual. Is it the lack of sleep? Or because of the one guy from earlier giving you a judging look that made you regret wearing the dress you picked? What happened?

These thoughts are not very helpful. Especially lately, well probably more on daily basis, you do wonder why Yoongi chose you. To marry.

They've said, more particularly his parents said, that he didn't like the ones they suggested for him; so he decided to pick you. To marry you instead of those women who is on the same level as him or close to his family's wealth.

Odd isn't it? Why would someone like him, an elite bachelor, pick a girl from a lower class family to marry? What did he see in you? What made him randomly pick you? You are not special, inexperience about life and not alluring as the other girls in his world. What did he saw? How did he even saw you? You were sure you two never met before. So did he hire someone to find a daughter from a poor family or what?

Instead of clearing your mind, you suddenly had these outburst of questions.

"What are you doing here?"

Your eyes widens after hearing a familiar voice. You didn't dare to speak. You just slowly turn your upper body around to see him, walking slowly towards you.

He's wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slightly slicked back and his scar. His beautiful scar. It's him.

You can't believe what you are seeing. He's really here. Why? He's been away for a week because of work and when did he came back?

"Y-yoongi..." you mumble, standing up

"I asked you..." he says as he stands right in front of you. Then you see his eyes darts down at your glass of water, sitting beside you. "Your bodyguard said... you asked for a drink." He looks back at you, his expression is so serious.

"I ahm... sorry..." you lower your gaze.

"You know... you can't drink."

"I'm sorry..." you whisper softly

"Let her have fun." A woman's voice says. "She just wants to have a glass of wine. It won't hurt."

Slowly raising your eyes, you see her, Sarang, standing from afar from you and Yoongi.

Her stance at this moment is unidentical to her persona earlier. It feels like she is a completely different person, though her appearance is the same. Something shifted.

"She did an amazing job.. representing you earlier." She adds

Your eyes then goes to Yoongi. You want to see his reaction to the angelic woman speaking. You are curious. No one talks to him directly like that, blunt and straight forward, even you.

Sarang is brave to talk casually to him.

"Ready the car..." Yoongi finally speaks after a monent of silence. Ordering one of his men to move.

That was it?

"I'll return the items. Keep the money. I don't care." He says while he's looking at you, straight into your eyes. Though you know, even his eyes are on you, he's not actually speaking to you.

"Yoongi le---" she tries to speak again but he didn't allowed it.

Yoongi just slightly turned his head to give her a side eye. He is not pleased. "My wife and I are leaving..." and then takes your hand to hold onto. "Let's go home..." he says that only you can hear.

"Ahm...ahh... okay." You say, lost by the sudden fierceness from him

***

"Get in." He orders you

Carefully climbing in the car, you move to the other side making sure there is a space betweem you two.

"Home please." Yoongi says to his driver as he shuts the door.

"Sir." The man answers, nodding and then pushes a button that closes the opening between the driver to the passenger seat of the car.

We are now isolated.

He looks so tired. Looks like he just came back and went straight to event to pick you up.

"I have my driver with me... you could've rested at home." You say

He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm fine."

Did he purposely pick you up because he wants to see you? Did he missed you while he was away for a week?

Your mind is filled with questions and curiosity but you cannot dream of these questions to be real. You have to remember, he just married you because he have no other choice. There is no love in between you two. You are married by paper only that is worth a lot of money. Everything you are doing for him is to repay all of his kindness to you and your family.

This is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy.

"Come closer..." he softly says. His eyes are still shut but his arm is arching, gesturing for me to take place in then. "Y/n..." he opens his eyes, calling my name. You scoot over his side. He immediately puts his arm around you, making sure you are close. "You're shaking..." he utters as he goes back to closing his eyes, resting his head back. "You're almost naked with that dress of yours..."

"Sorry..." you say looking down at your knotted fingers. "I thought it will look good....that's why I wore it."

He sighs. "You do look good..." then he shifts in his position and makes sure you're looking back at him. Then he starts leans in, to kiss you.

"Wait..."

He pauses, confused by your reaction. You have never denied his kiss before.

"I'm sorry..."

"What for?" He asks

"Well..." you look to the front, where the driver is. "Do we just kiss or..." you whisper

Yoongi didn't expect your question which made him smile. "It depends." He is looking straight into your eyes, your face are just inches away.

"He might hear us..." you whisper

"I don't fucking care." He moves forward and finally catches your lips.

***

After travelling for almost half an hour, you finally reach home.

"Welcome home, Miss..." The maid greets the second you slide out of the car. she then sees Yoongi, coming out from the other side of the car. "Master!" She bows again. "Welcome..."

They are suprised to see him. They didn't expect him to arrive with you. Looks like none of them knew he went to pick you up.

"Do we have anything to eat?" You softly ask the maid, then you realized that it's already late and that they have to rest too. "Oh... Sorry... never mind... you may go and rest." You give her a faint smile.

Then slowly walking towards the elevator, you could see your husband's reflection through the glass doors. He is busy already with his phone.

"Y/n..."

You glance up, peaking through the reflection. He is walking towards you. So you wirl around and waited for him to stand in front of you.

"Ask your assistant to remove all charities or event under the Lee's tomorrow. Even parties." He says as he undo his bow tie. "And... to not accept any invitation from them...again"

"Why?"

He didn't answer. No answer means he's serious.

"Okay..." You just answer before turning your back at him again.

Thinking about what you are in his world is heart breaking in a way. You are nothing but someone he owns. You just go with the flow of his world.

Yes you do had an idea what you've signed up for but its still shocking nonetheless how everything is unfolding and is doing.

"Aren't you getting in?"

You look up and see that he is in the elevator already, waiting.

"S-sorry..." you say before entering. You try your best to not make eye contact with him.

After both of you settled in, the maid follows and taps on level 3. That is where both your rooms are.

Oddly, Yoongi taps on the Upper ground after her. "Can you please cook something light before you leave? My wife needs to eat." He orders

"Yes, Master." She answers just in time when the elevator stops on UG.

"We'll both be down after we shower and get rested a bit."

"Understood, Master." She exists the elevator, bows and immediately walks off.

'My wife'. It is the second time he said that today. He never says that.

"Don't skip meals." He mumbles as the door closes

You didn't answer. You didn't mean to skip a meal or two today. And maybe a few days before too. You were nervous. One main reason is the dress you're wearing right now is very revealing. A satin black backless maxi dress. You wanted be perfect in the dress thats why, even though you know it's not achievable.

*pings*

The elevator door opens on level 3. You step out and about to turn to your wing when you hear him call your name again.

"Where are you going?" He asks

"T-to my room..." you sound so weak, "To shower..."

"Shower here." He says, suggesting the shower in his wing. Meaning in his room. Meaning his bathroom.

"Hmm?" You are lost in translation. Why is he asking you to shower there all of a sudden.

"To my room." And then he undo the first two buttons of his shirt.

"W-what? Why?"

He didn't say another word. He just continued to walk off towards his room leaving you.

"W-wait..." You take two steps forward but then stops.

"Y/N...." you hear the heels of his shoes stop hitting the marbled floor. His back is facing you. "I said, shower here. I didn't ask you to decide." he then turns around and you see his white top basically open now. "Will you go and shower with me or do you want me to peel that dress off you and carry you to my room?"

Flusttered by his remark, you just released an unsolicited shaky breathing. "Ahm... yes... I'm... I'm coming..."

***

[Flashback to Yoongi's side]

(Earlier... as soon as Yoongi arrived at the charity event)

Some of the people in the event went silent for a few seconds the moment they saw you enter the building. They all didn't expect you to show up since your wife was already present. But of course, they still greeted you with a smile and tried to make small talks. They want to be on your good side. They know what you are capable off. What power you hold in this world.

However, you don't care about these fuckers. You dropped by because you received a call from your wife's bodyguard that Y/N is not looking okay.

"Where is she?" You ask the man standing behind you.

"She just left the bar, Sir. And went out to the garden." He reply.

"I see."

One step, you just took one step and somebody already stands in your way to your wife.

"Look who's here."

"Sarang." You say her name, bitterly. You are not expecting her to be here.

"You have been ignoring my invites for quite some time now... I thought, helping others is one of your goals in life that's why you work 24/7?"

"I thought this event was by the Lee's?" You hiss at your male assistant.

"It is, Sir. By--"

"Lee Do-Hyun..." she cuts off the assistant. "My husband..." she proudly says. "Aww.. That kind a... hurts my feelings...that... you have no idea I got married..."

"I don't keep tab on people who's not important to me."

She scoffs but she sounded a bit insulted and her ego got hurt. But she's good at pretending that it didn't bothered her. "You say that now...but a few years ago... I was your muse..." she tries to move closer to you but your body guards stands in between quickly.

"Was." You look away from her and try to search for your wife through the window not far away from where you stand. "My mistake for socializing to a liar, back stabbing... leech like you." You say, then giving her a side eye. "I wish your husband good fortune... or that he loves spoiling you... or esle... he'll found out his wife's true color..."

You're about to walk away, again, but this bitch still wants to talk to you.

"You think... she'll not get tired of you? Of you controlling her? Especially getting married with you... with no love at all?" She snorts a laugh again. "Or maybe... she will not..." she mumbles under her breathe, "Now... It figures... why you picked someone from a low class family... someone with no choice but to stay with you because her family needs your money. I see..." she laughs again, "poor girl... if I were her, I would milk you all of your money so it will be worth it... after all she married a controlling, dominant, and a freaky person like you."

You know Y/N is not like her. She is a nice person. She's not into money like this bitch is. However, you do think about how Y/N thinks about you and her marriage to you.

You admit that you are very controlling when it comes to her. It is one of your negative trait that you cannot put away. It comes natural with you because of the life you have been brought up and your business. You want things to happen in your way and you are also possessive. You do try to controll it when it comes to her but you are not sure if you are doing it right.

Well how could you know, you never talk about it. Even with your wife. You never asked about her feelings and opinions.

"Watch your mouth." You mumble. "You might think you know me from the years we've been together. But you haven't seen half of what I can and would do... if anyone picks a fight with me.." you glare at her. "Consider this a warning."

[End of flashback from Yoongi's side]

*************

"Miss..."

Slowly opening your eyes, your eyes carefully adjusted to the light. You could see the ray of sunshine peaking through your dark thick curtains.

"Miss..."

You turn your head to the side and see your maid bowing.

"It's noon Miss..."

"Oh."

It has been a quite a few days now, since you start waking up this late. You are usually up early. You are a morning person. You also do jogs or walks around the property and sometimes go to the home gym to move, always. But something shifted in your routines.

You are tired, less motivated and no will to get up your bed.

"I think we need to call the family doctor now, Miss." The maid suggested. "You've lost a bit of weight and you look pale."

"I'm fine." You say as you push your duvet off your body and slide down off your bed. "I'll take a quick bath..." you mumble

"Understood." She is ready to come along with you.

"No... I'm fine... I'll just go alone... just prepare food for me please."

"But... Miss..." she usually prepares your bath and always stays with you there. After the little accident you had a year ago when you first experience a hot bath on the tub. You fainted because you fell asleep. Too much enjoyment and you forgot it is not good to stay long in there.

"I'll be fine." You smile and requested for her to leave

"Okay Miss... but... I will be back after half an hour to check."

"Sure."

You slept last night, wearing your silk robe and your fancy cream nightgown, his favorite. You were expecting Yoongi to come home last night as per usual schedule. But he didn't. He didn't even informed the staff that he'll not be home for a longer period.

What happened? You don't know.

The last time you talked to him was the night he asked you to come to his room and shower with him.

Everything that night was magical. For you atleast. But then you ruined it.

When you both entered his dark room, he immediately clung onto you. He held you like everything depends on it. It was more intemate and hungry than the usual and you liked it for some reason. After all the self doubt and insecurity you felt in the party, the intemacy made you feel more than what you feel.

And when he peeled off your dress from your body, you didn't expected him to go down on his knees and lick your soul out of your body. His tongue did more than you know he could do. It brought you to another level of high. And you didn't know you could screech like an animal because of it. He really made sure you are on cloud nine or even beyond that.

"Fuck me... please..." you begged him after you knees weakened and fall down the floor where he is.

"No." He said. He was sturn. "No request for tonight." He said and then he positioned you underneath him where he could properly see you crumble because of him.

"Y-yoongi... please.... I need... I want to come..." you begged

He brought you to cloud nine but then hold onto your pearls when you were about to orgasm.

"I'm punishing you right now..." he said as he lowers down and starts to run his tongue from your chest up. "Next time... don't wear any sort of revealing clothes...when I'm not around.. do you understand that Y/N?"

"Y-yes..."

"Another rule to add... are you okay with that?" He hummed the last words on your ears before he let both his hands squeeze your breast. "Answer me..."

"I don't... mind..." you were squearming underneath him. He was playing your nipples then. "I... I don't mind... Yoongi..." you repeated, pleading.

His punishment continued for another few minutes. It was too much. You were struggling catching your bliss but he's playing you. However, you are patient. You know his kinks and you know what he wants and so you do whatever and accept whatever. Coz you know it is from him.

"Scream my name." He grunted as he pounds you with no mercy.

You were holding on to his massive bookshelf on the wall, your legs were lifted and hanging over his forearm whilst he was thrusting deep in you. You were getting hurt from your back hitting the shelves but it didn't matter. You don't know why but for some reason you can endure everything just for Yoongi. Even pain.

"Nnggghhaaa..." you threw your arms around his neck as he went faster. "Please!" You cry on his neck. "Aaaahhh!!" You screamed the orgasm you have been keeping for a while. You felt relieved and content.

And as you two were catching your breath. You uttered words that surprised the both of you. You said 'I love you' to Yoongi.

It should not be a surprise. You two are married right. However since yours are different from others, those words were never said or mentioned ever after the wedding. It is like a forebidden phrase though there are no rule about it. It's like an unspoken deal that no one says those words since THIS.. YOU TWO... is just a fantasy. You two got together with no love. It is not real. You are just one of his property.

And so, after that night. That magical night for you ended up into this cold, quiet and empty prison. Again. You are back to nothing.

You thought you are on a journey escaping that confinement. You thought that something is going to change. You thought... that you were wrong about him. But who are you kidding? You were just having sex like you used to. It is nothing special. It is the same crap. So you saying you love him is... worthless.

"Did I even mean it?" You ask yourself as you lay down in your hot bath. "I said it... after sex.." you are trying to understand how those words slipped out of your lips. If it all just happened because of such high from the sex.

You can clearly remember how you said it. You paused, looked into his eyes and carefully said it. You know you said it with the intent for him to hear it but when you saw his reaction. It made you realize what a big mistake it was.

"Am I having feelings for him?" You mumble as you lower yourself more into the water. "I should not right?"

You know the answer to your own quesion. Look at him even ignoring you for almost two weeks now. Who are you even kidding thinking it will have an effect on him?

After the 'I love you' incident, He eat dinners without you or he let you eat first before he comes out of his home office. And then when he leaves, he does not inform you now. You just get the news of him flying off somewhere from your maid. Even his men are being cautious with you. He must've ordered them to be distant but at the same time protect you.

How funny that these are his responses to you. You know you deserve it but you're a little bit hurt, your not going to lie.

"Who am I for him to love?" You sigh. "Maybe... I should just prepare myself for the ending of this fantasy..."

*********

"Master." The maids bows as they suddenly sees Yoongi enter the main entrance while they are all cleaning.

Yoongi have not been home for a while. He has been... busy.

"Give them all my clothes." He says to his right hand man. "Sorry if it's quite a lot today." He then says to the maids as he removes his black coat revealing his white button up shirt, stained with blood. A lot of it. No one reacted to the visual that is shown. All the staff are used to it. They know how his world is.

"Where is she?" He asks as he loosen up his tie

All the maids in the corredor suddenly turn heads to the youngest one at the end of the line. She is Y/N personal maid.

"Master." She steps forwards and bows again. "Miss is in her bath."

Yoongi frowns. "Alone?"

"Ahm..." she suddenly stutters. "Sorry, Master! She... Miss wanted to... alone... but I told her after half an hour I will go back."

"How long has she been there?" He then throws his tie on the ground.

"Twenty."

"Okay." He takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "Just go and be on standby in her room. She can't stay any longer."

"Okay, Master." She bows again and briskfully walk back to Y/N wing.

"Are you not going to... visit her Sir?" His male right hand asks. "She have been messaging you since..." he pauses for a bit. "And calling too."

He didn't answer. "Ready my bath please." He orders and just continue walking his way to his room.

"Understood." The man replies

"She can't see me like this." Yoongi mumbles as he walks

"I see..." his right hand man smiles at his master's response.

"Why are you smiling?" Yoongi asks, one eyebrow up.

"Nothing, Sir."

"Just spit it out."

The right man, Mr. Kim have been Yoongi's right hand man ever since he was in his teens. Mr. Kim saw him grew up and be the man that he is now. And for sure, if something changed he would be the first one to notice

And now, the tiny changes in Yoongi's mood and decisions, He might not know or see it but it is obvious for Mr. Kim. He knows it is something about his wife.

"2nd week of your marriage, Sir. She saw you coming home with a bloody lip and injured knuckles. You said you don't give a damn if she sees you looking like a murderer."

"So? What's your point?"

"It's just lately...."

Yoongi pauses and turns around to see Mr. Kim, wearing a smile.

"What are you implying? Just... say it."

Mr. Kim bows and says, "Nothing Sir."

"Hmmm..." rolling his eyes, he continued to walk.

*****

"Miss..." your personal maid rushes in your room, "Master have return." She says.

To her suprise, she sees you standing in the middle of the room, wearing your bathrobe and a towel in your hair already.

You take a deep breathe, not letting your eyes look away from the view you are seeing from your window, a clear blue sky.

"Miss.. shall I prepare your clothes?"

You close your eyes and then removed the towel wrapped around your long hair. "Please..." you softly answer

"What do you prefer to wear today, Miss?" She asks she she begins to walk towards your walk in closet.

"A black dress..." you say as you follow along. "Maybe the one with the longer sleeves."

She nods and then continues to search for the dresses you have that matches your description while you on the other hand looks at yourself in the full length mirror while you undress from your robe.

You stare at your body and see how you thin you are. Not super thin but thinner than what you used to.

It's your own fault. You have been skipping meals when you are stressed and it's not good.

"Miss?" She then lays three dresses on the sofa in the middle, for your choices.

"The middle one." You says.

You then open the drawer for your undies to grab a black lace matching underwear.

"Ahm, Miss...?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to eat with Master, in the dinning today?"

"Hmm... what did he say?"

"Nothing. He just asked me to stay with you when I told him you are in your bath."

"Did he say if he wants to see me?"

The maid didn't answer.

"I guess not." You scoff as you getting into the dress. "Just bring my food in my study room. I'll eat there while I do some reading."

"Understood." She bows and exists the room.

"I'm not gonna wait for him anymore." You say to yourself while looking onto the mirror. "If he's going to avoid me or ignore me... then... that's what I'll do as well..."

Starring once again at yourself on the mirror, you look at your face and then your eyes goes down to your belly.

"I have to learn to go on with my life... with or without him..." you mumble. "I should start to escape this fantasy... a dream that maybe the 'us' will be something."

Part 3 - Twilight

[windtorndagger]

Sampard modern aus live in my head rent free - but to be fair some of them can just be canon divergent.

Okay but I REALLY want streamer au with streamer!Gepard who plays farming sims and works on his art and like it’s Belobog’s most open secret. Everyone knows that the cute little snowman on the screen watching art tutorials is the beloved Captain Gepard, but no one brings it up. At all. Everyone knows how much of his young life has been dedicated to the protection of their city so they just watch his streams and support him through that.

After the Overworld and the Underworld are reconnected, Gepard (or rather SilverShield), opens donations on his stream for the Rivet Town Orphanage, as well as the rebuilding of the Underworld as a whole. He doesn't expect much, doesn't want people to give more than they can afford, but he leaves it there.

As it turns out, he's popular in more than just Belobog.

As it turns out, he's made quite a name for himself across multiple planets and the galaxy. So donations just come rolling in.

There is however, one viewer who always makes sure they are top donor.

And that person?

Sampo.

Sampo who will literally pause mid interrogation with a customer who betrayed him because Gepard started streaming. Sampo who will change the screens in The Tavern to Gepard's streams and throw anyone out who dares try to change it. He's gotten in several fights with Fools and Actors both for attempting to bother him when he's watching Gepard's streams. (Those fights are short lived because neither group can tell if he's an Emanator of Aha or Aha themselves so they don't put up too much of a fight—especially since he can also wield IX's power too...)

Sampo who is Gepard’s boyfriend and has been for a few years now, but only recently did they make it public. Sampo who has two accounts, one in which he chats and mods (the dashing Mr.ColdFeet) and one that he just donates money with (the elusive TheLadyElation). He knows that Gepard won't take his money, even if it's honest, so he makes do with a side account.

Sometimes, when Sampo has down time (he always has time for Gepard but sometimes Gepard gets worried that if he ignores his clients they'll come after him—like they can harm him, ha!—so he doesn't do it often), he'll either appear on Gepard's chat as a cat in a trash can or he'll just sit offscreen and be a presence in the room.

Gepard likes streaming, likes to be able to work on his art and improve and hopefully inspire others to pursue their passions. He enjoys playing his farming sims because it's so different from his day to day life as a soldier. His model was gifted to him by Sampo, after the man had caught Gepard watching an offworld stream. He doesn't ask, but was happy to receive the model and to have the chance to do something he now deeply enjoys.

Now if only Serval would stop asking to be a guest on his stream. She already did his intro an outro music and he knows all she'll do is tell embarrassing stories. (And if he says yes to her then Lynx will want to join and they would just embarrass him on stream and Sampo would never let him live it down.)

[welldonebeca]

The Pack (I)

Summary: Sam and Jess decide to spend Spring Break with you and Dean and finally - after a good night together - join your pack. And you all mate. Of course. WC: 3.5k words Warnings: A/B/O dynamics. Tension. Hurt/Comfort. Flirting. Lactation kink.

If you like my work, consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my Patreon. It’s just $2 a month and helps a lot while I go through these hard times.

Masterlist

“We decided on a neutral colour,” you told Jess as you showed her your nursery, which you had just finished painting a couple of days ago. “Because we can reuse it, you know? We plan on moving her to a bigger room by the time we have a second.”

Jess was Sam’s girlfriend, his Omega, and was just visiting along with him for spring break.

“So you know it’s a girl?” she asked.

You shook your head, caressing your belly and your barely-showing bump.

“No, the doctor said it’s still a month until we can see anything officially. Maybe even more. But I think she is a girl.”

You were her mama, and mamas never got it wrong.

“Aww, this is so exciting!” she exclaimed. “I can’t wait to be an aunt.”

She touched your belly happily, and you were happy that it was finally starting to show a little bit, though it was nothing near your tits. Now that you had started pumping, they had stopped growing so much, but they were still bigger than their past self.

“You know,” she looked at you. “Have you ever thought about having a mural? Something sweet, maybe behind the changing table?”

You nodded a little.

“Well, I thought about it. But we don’t know anyone who can paint like that,” you told her. “And it’s our baby. I don’t know if I’d let a stranger do something without any meaning on the wall, I want it to be something she looks at and I can say ‘daddy painted it for you’ or ‘mama painted it for you’, but neither of us is good with art.”

Jess pouted a little.

“Oh,” she nodded a bit. “Well…”

You finally realised what she was talking about.

“I do like the sound of your ‘auntie Jess painted it for you’,” you teased her.

Her eyes sparkled, and her lips curled in a big smile. Jess was so pretty!

“If it isn’t much to ask,” you told her. “Because you are a guest, I don’t want to make you work.”

She waved a dismissive hand.

“Oh, no, don’t worry!” she assured you. “I mean, we have all week!”

Such a short time…  you wished they could stay a little longer.

“And it’ll be my birthday present to you!” she affirmed, squeezing your hand.

Sam had bought you some gift cards as your birthday gift, which you didn’t mind.

But a mural… well, it would be very nice.

“I’ll see if I can ask Dean to take you to Home Depot for some paints later,” you offered, taking her hand as you both went outside to find your boys.

They were in the backyard… arguing?

“Dean, those are humans!” Sam stomped his foot. “They are treating those Omegas like livestock!

Oh… so they were talking about that.

“You know, for a guy who is all about researching, you’re really bad at looking into Shurley’s. All the omegas consent to it and they can quit anytime,” Dean reminded him.

“The only kind of omegas they would seek out would be the ones who are desperate, and you think they wouldn’t target that?” his brother insisted.

Ever since you two started donating milk, there had been a boom in the company’s popularity. You would like to think it was you, but you also knew they were expanding, and with that came fame.

They set up farms East, and now they had plans on going west, which Sam was not happy about.

“It’s predatory!”

“It’s a job!” Dean corrected him. “Like… like OnlyFans. And escorting. And something for the greater good, like sperm donation! They help people everywhere!”

Sam took a hand to his face, growling.

“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about this, especially with how you treat-“

“Um? Sam?” Jess called out, stopping both men.

The way he treated… you.

Sam was very critical of your relationship with Dean. Well, he was critical of anything and everything Dean did.

It made you very sad because Dean loved him more than anything in this world.

… maybe not you. You didn’t like to ponder on that, because it wasn’t a competition.

But he adored Sam, and always made sure things were always perfect for him, so he could have everything he wanted.

Even with college, Dean wanted to pay for everything, so Sam would just study. His house, his car and tuition… but he didn’t let him do more than put his name on the lease. And since he had gone to college, he was distant from his brother.

This visit was new to him.

But he liked you, you knew that. Sam always said he wanted you to be safe and happy, but you felt like he didn’t listen to you. You had said to him a thousand times that this is the happiest you have ever been, but he still wouldn’t understand.

It was good that Omegas could do whatever they wanted, and have the lives they wanted, but you liked your life. You liked being a housewife and attached to Dean by the hip and having him take care of everything. It made you happy!

“Oh, hey, sweeties,” Dean flashed you two a smile. “Do you need anything?”

“Is everything alright?” Jess asked

“Oh, yes,” he assured you, but you knew he was lying. “Don’t worry, doll.”

Sam’s lips curled in a growl.

“Don’t call her that.”

But Jess smiled. She didn’t seem bothered at all.

“You know what?” Sam decided and walked to you two. “How about they contribute? They have a voice, you know?”

You frowned. What now?

Dean always asked your opinion on things.

“How do you feel about what Shurley is doing to Omegas?”

Jess sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, that… Sam…” she looked at him, clearly something they both knew about. “I mean, we don’t want them being abused under them, you know?”

“But they are nice,” you told her. “Their Omegas have a good contract, their needs are all met, and I looked into it and their health insurance is the best in the country. Dean is even getting me in it. The insurance company, I mean.”

Jess raised her eyebrows, surprised.

“Really?”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “We’ve looked into the company. Well, I did more than Dean.”

You tried not to flush thinking of it. They didn’t need to know how you knew all of those things.

“They distribute breast milk even to smaller hospitals, and to families who don’t have ways to feed their pups,” you told her.

“Wait. Why are you looking into them?” Sam looked at you, curiosity getting the better of him. “Is Dean making you-“

You couldn’t take it.

“Can you be nice for once?”  you interrupted him. “Everything is ‘Dean’s doing this’, ‘Dean’s doing that!”

Your husband’s eyes widened, and you stomped, walked closer to his brother and raised your head to look at his face, now fully angry.

You were so tired of Sam accusing Dean all the time!

“The rain starts out of time, and it’s Dean’s fault. You can’t find a shoe, and it is Dean’s fault! If you disagree with something, Dean has to be wrong because you are never wrong!” you growled at him. “Dean doesn’t treat me right, Dean doesn’t know this, Dean’s help is useless… will you, please, stop?”

Someone put a hand on your back, very delicate, but you shrugged them off.

How dare he be so mean to your Alpha? Your husband was a very loving man, even if he wasn’t good with his words. He always compensated them with his actions.

“Dean redecorated the guest room just so that you two would be comfortable!” you told him. “He bought a new mattress, made sure we have your favourite foods, and has been spending the whole week trying to find a way to convince you into letting him get you some dental insurance because you are too stubborn to let you help him!”

Sam stared at you with wide eyes, shocked, and you stepped away from him, not wanting to get into a fight, but came back as soon as you realised you weren’t done.

“Your brother thinks the world of you! He tells the people all the time that his little brother is a smart lawyer and got into Stanford all on his own,” you continued. “He keeps pictures of when you were little all around because you don’t like to take pictures with him anymore, and always talks about gifting you and Jess a house in the town so that we could see one another more often without you being overwhelmed by his presence.”

“Baby,” Dean called you.

“So don’t come to me with that talk of Dean forcing me to do anything! Because I only cook when I want, I only clean when I want, and I am very spoiled every day because he is a very good Alpha, the same way that he is a very good brother! And I value that very much!” you finished. “And just because you think an Omega is only good when she is working, it doesn’t mean we can’t be happy staying home!”

Your eyes welled up, but you kept your stance, walking away from him in strong steps and stomping right back into your room.

After that massive rant, you curled up into your big pillow to scream, though you could still hear the three outside.

You had never, ever, been so upset with someone before, but he needed to hear that!

"I... I don't-" Sam tried to speak. "I mean..."

"Sam, you should talk to her," Jess interrupted him.

There was a moment of silence before she continued.

"Dean... I know this is strange, but she wanted to know if you could drive me for some paints. I'd love to do a mural for the baby."

"That would be very nice, Jessica," your husband agreed. "We can go now. And they should have a moment alone."

You looked up from your pillow, still hugging it.

"Come in," you mumbled.

He opened the door carefully.

"I added the colourful marshmallows you like," he tried to smile.

You glared at him, bitterly.

"Oh, how presumptuous of you," you grunted.

Still, you took the drink anyway.

You did love the colourful marshmallows.

He sighed, putting his own mug aside, and it looked way more boring than yours.

“Listen, I’m sorry," he apologised. "I shouldn’t have been so hard on Dean."

"You're right, you shouldn't," you confirmed.

He smiled the littlest bit.

"I just... I get so worried for you," he told you.

You lowered your mug, chewing one of the marshmallows.

“Why?” you finally asked him. “Sam, you’ve known me for years, why do you think I can’t take care of myself?”

Sam hesitated for a moment, and you continued to stare at him.

What, did he think you were dumb?

"You're an Omega," he said, at last. "And a woman. A very feminine woman. People sometimes take advantage of people like you."

You sighed. Of course you knew all of that. Your whole life, people looked at you different for being girly and wanting to settle down and just have a family. No fancy schools, just a house to command and babies to raise.

"I know, Sam," you touched his hand. His hand was so warm. "But I live like this because I chose this life for myself. I see how people treat me, and I’m very aware of it. The last thing I want is someone thinking they know what’s best for me.”

He nodded with you.

"You're a very nice girl," he told you. "Dean is... very lucky. To have you."

You tilted your head.

Oh, you knew those eyes.

Sure, you weren't school sharp, but you could read people like paper.

"Do you remember..." you spoke slowly, starting to reminisce. "When Dean asked me to Prom, and he had you helping?"

Dean always wanted to share everything with his brother.

Everything.

You giggled.

Dean didn't want a prom date, he wanted an easy lay.

And you weren't an easy lay.

"So he did it again," you reminded him. "And a third time."

"And then you accepted," Sam pointed out.

You chuckled.

"I remember how jealous you looked when I did," you teased him.

Sam stopped, frozen and flushing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he tried to deny it.

You laughed.

"I always knew you had a little crush on me, Sammy," you told him. "I just didn't know it had never gone away,"

Sam was blushing so much. It was adorable.

"Y/n," he stuttered. "I... Dean... Jess..."

"Families are packs, Sam," you reminded him. "It's very normal for a pack to be big."

Still, he pulled away from you.

"Listen... I do love you," he affirmed, your heart soar and your chest ache. "But I won't do that to Jess. Packs are too traditional, and we don’t want that."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Does she?" you asked him. "Are you sure?"

You had seen the way Jess looked at your belly, and how she was fascinated with the ins and out of your life as you told it to her.

“It’s not wrong to want it,” you whispered to him.

Sam nearly growled.

"Not wrong?" he asked. "To want to own my omega or take control like some knot head?"

"Yes," you whispered. "Exactly. To care for her and spoil her."

He didn't look at you, and you rested your head on his shoulder.

"You know, Dean treats me very well," you told him. "He is so sweet, Sam. Always giving me little gifts, always making my life comfortable... I barely lift a finger around here."

His skin was so warm against yours. Still, Sam kept drinking his mug, and you just then realised what he was drinking.

You didn't have milk at home.

Not conventional milk, at least. Just yours...

You were producing so much, you kept a bit of yours to yourselves.

And Sam seemed to be enjoying it very much.

"I used the milk in the half-empty bottle," he told you. "I hope that's alright? I wasn't sure if it was something you were saving it for some recipe."

You shook your head.

"No, it's just milk," you assured him. "It's just not pasteurised. We got it fresh today."

“I mean, yeah, it’s really good," he nodded again, emphatic. "You guys don’t even have cows anymore, where do you get it?”

You smiled smuggle,

“Oh, just some other farmers were kind enough to give some of theirs…. Deans been experimenting with it...”

Your husband had been very curious with what your milk could bring before a baby.

“He's actually made some fresh ice cream with it," he told you. "You wanna try it?"

You raised your head from his shoulder and Sam relaxed completely now.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Of course."

You really shouldn’t get turned on by this.

You were tricking your brother in law... but you knew if Sam knew he would start worrying, and you just wanted this week to be perfect!

"I'll serve you," you hopped off your bed. "Come on."

Sam didn't say anything as you guided him downstairs and waited as you served him a big ball of sweet vanilla ice cream, and Sam almost immediately dug in.

"Oh, God," he huffed. "This is really good. It's so sweet!"

Sam licked the spoon with his skilled tongue, and you squirmed, feeling yourself getting wet, and your chest felt a little tight and-

"Oh," you gasped, feeling your clothes wet.

You were leaking again!

"I'm sorry," you covered your chest. "I need to go clean up."

You rushed out of the kitchen before he could say anything, looking for your pump.

Where had Dean put it?!

Finally, you managed to find it and hid in your work room before setting it up.

What would Sam and Jess think if they saw you like this?

Before you could overthink, your door opened, and Dean walked inside.

"There you are!" your husband smiled. "Baby! Jess is so perfect! I didn't know how perfect she would be, she is all sweet."

You raised your eyes to him quickly.

"Oh, you think so too?" you asked him. "I was thinking... oh, Dean, we really could have a pack, couldn't we?"

You two had talked a bit about it - before and after getting married.

But you never found someone who would be a good fit.

Until today, that was.

"Now you’re reading my mind,” Dean smirked, taking a seat beside you. "You, me, Sammy and Jess... I don't even know how Sam has bred her up already. They’ve been dating for four years!"

You shook your head. That was way too long of a time.

But they were at least mated.

"Of course you're thinking of breeding," you giggled. "Another cow for the family business."

He chuckled, touching your leg and caressing your thigh slowly.

"She has so much untapped potential, baby," he hummed. "Beautiful tits, long legs... oh, I imagine she can bounce pretty well on cock, uh?"

You squirmed, warmed by his words and the pump.

But Dean pulled away from you and rested on the chair slowly, just smirking a little.

Suddenly, Jessica walked into the room.

"Dean?" she called.

She gasped, though, when she looked at you.

"Oh!" she covered her eyes. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright," you assured her. "Just... Omega business."

She flushed and Dean looked back at her.

"Yes, doll?" he asked.

Her cheeks were flushed, and Jess couldn't look up.

"Sam wants to talk to you," he told you. "In the kitchen."

Dean nodded.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I'll go talk to him."

He left and Jess hesitated, about to do the same, but you stopped her.

"Hey," you called her. "Sit down, it's alright. Nothing you haven't seen before."

If she was going to be part of your pack, then she had to get used to this, right?

She sat down, but still didn't look at you.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just... always thought this was private. My mum always says people should cover-up when breastfeeding."

You scoffed.

"Oh, come on," you shook your head. "Boobs are made for babies. Anything else is an extra."

Jessica giggled.

“I guess that’s true,” she finally looked at you, and then frowned, pointing to your chest. "Uh... is that from Shurley’s? Is that why you were so defensive before?”

You hesitated a bit.

Oh, well.

"It is," you agreed. "I have a... special situation. Condition. Something like that, I can say."

Jessica frowned, worried.

"It's alright," you assured her. "I just have milk. Lots of it. So I needed a special pump and only they have it. It's been helping me a lot in the last month."

She nodded along.

"I guess that's good," she pointed out. "You wouldn't want a mess everywhere."

Oh, if a mess was everything you were worried about.

"And it hurt so much," you told her. "My body ached to feed my baby when she isn't even out yet. I was so desperate I thought about just offering to feed newborns at the hospital."

You both laughed at the joke.

"I donate my milk," you told her. "So I guess I do feed hospital babies. Just not directly."

She beamed.

“That’s amazing!” Jess exclaimed, awed. “I wish I could do that… sometimes I volunteer, but to make a difference like that..”

“And your body loves it too!” you praised it. “It can be messy, but it’s all for the babies and that’s all I care about.”

She watched you, impressed.

"That sounds dreamy," she told you. "Your life is just wonderful. I wish I could just...  you know."

She lowered her eyes, unsure, not wanting to finish it.

You looked into her eyes.

"Wish you could, what?"

She hesitated, sighing and looking at the door.

"I mean... you guys are so lucky," she explained. "Sam and I... I don't want it to come out wrong, but we are struggling a bit. With our loans, you know?"

You nodded a bit. School loans were very expensive, especially for schools so big, such as Stanford.

"It's not a crippling debt, but it will be a while before we feel ready to have a baby, and you are ready to have another as soon as this one comes out!" she pointed at you. "It's such a good place and it... it makes me a little jealous."

"Well, what if we could help?" you suggested vaguely.

Her eyes shone at the idea, but she quickly looked away.

"Sam wants to do it on his own," she shook her head. "I have to support him."

"You are such a good Onega," you praised her, and Jess flushed. "But you know... if we all work on convincing him, he can't say no. Especially if he hears how much you want a baby."

Jess blushed even more.

"You'll be such a good mama," you told her, teasing her now. "You're so sweet and caring, and with Sam, you'd have a big belly, you know? Maybe even twins."

The machine stopped, and she looked right at your tits before you moved to remove the suction, bottles now full.

"I should put these away," you sighed, sweetly. "Talk to Sam, Jess. He will appreciate it."

You leaned by her side and placed a little kiss on her cheek, tits barely in your bra, and adjusted yourself before actually dressing up fully.

. . .

"The Pack" is the second part of "The Milk series". To read its sequels "The Farm" - a Castiel x Reader x Dean - and "The Family" - a Jess x Reader & Sam x Reader - subscribe to my page! It's just $2 a month and helps me a lot through these hard times.

. . .

Forever Tags: @emoryhemsworth​​​ @amythyststorm33​​​ @shaelyn102​​​ @yknott81​​​ ​​@maximofftrash​​​ @kgbrenner​​​ @thefridgeismybestie​​​ @magpiegirl80​​​ @mogaruke​​​ @shadowhunter7​​​ @musicalcoffeebean​​​ @megasimpleplan4ever​​​ @deemoriarty​​​ @05spn18​​​ @malindacath​​​ @kdcollinsauthor​​​ @random-fandom-fangirl2112​​​ @widowsfics​​​ @frozenhuntress67​​​ @averyrogers83​​​ @notyourtypicalrose​​​ @nerdypinupcrystal​ @giruvega​

Supernatural tags: @its-daydreamer23​​ @imagefanfictionlover​​ @imagefanfictionlover​​ @smalltowndivaj​​ @tayrae515imagines​​ @random-fandom-fangirl2112​​ @oneshoeshort​​ @andkatiethings​​ @wakanda-sometimes​​ @akshi8278​​ @xoxabs88xox​​ @izbelross​ @calstielwinchester ​ @isabelle-faith @flamencodiva @lyarr24 Supernatural Kinky Fics (+18): @littlecassisub @stoneyggirl2 @death-unbecomes-you @phoenixblack899 @that-dark-girl

[gothamstreetcat]

Hi everyone, I know everyone is going through some pretty severe times right now, but recently I’ve found myself in a rough predicament. A week ago I suffered a pretty severe fall, where I fell 20ft off an overpass. It was really dark, raining pretty hard, and there were no traffic lights where I was at. I could barley see in front of me and I didn’t have on my glasses because they were useless at the time. I was walking home.

Because of the fall I hurt my back and chest pretty bad and I wasn’t able to move myself much when I was first admitted. I also broke my heel which resulted in surgery. Between the EMT’s finding me, the ambulance ride to the hospital, and being admitted it was extremely disorienting, scary, and frustrating.

Due to the surgery I will be out of work for a minimum of three months but probably more. I am unable to put weight on my foot for those three months and even after that it will be very hard - if you’ve ever broken a bone before you know it’s no joke. And if you live in the US, you also know what a rip-off our healthcare system is. I had not even reached my own outrageous deductible before this occurred and I’m not even sure what my insurance is even going to cover after that. I will also have to pay for physical therapy and on top of everything, I just got a notice for my rent going above 1k - which is extremely outrageous where I live.

I am also being moved into a psychiatric facility under the false assumptions that a jumped off the overpass. Despite that there was no evidence before or after the incident that supports this assumption. I have tried time and time again to prove how unfair this is to me to no avail. While being in the hospital on suicide watch, they confiscated all my belongings (despite that I could barley move in the bed due to how much pain I was in) and have since lost my wallet, keys, shoes during this time.

I have some money saved up in an account and enough paid time off to late me a month but I know it’s not going to be enough to sustain me being out of work.

I have spent so much of my life doing for others. Helping them, making things for them and doing for them all because I care about them and like to make them happy. I don’t regret any of it - it is truly one of the few things that bring me joy in this world, but now I need to ask for some help.

I’ve been on this site for a long time making gifs. I also do lots of crafts, like modifying jackets, making buttons, and painting. I write fanfiction and have made some fan videos over on YouTube. I plan to do some jackets and painting to try and cultivate a source of income while I am not working, but I am worried it won’t be enough.

I am willing to do commissions for stories and videos if anyone in interested. (But please keep it literally within my capabilities, I know it’s so limited but I’d be willing to go to the depths of hell if someone would pay me for it). I am also open to gifset requests. And I would be open to selling some of my art on here.

I have also set up a ko-fi for small donations and here is a link to my PayPal.

I know everyone hates these kinds of posts and there are A LOT of people in A LOT worse situations than my own. But I would literally be so appreciative of any support anyone is willing to give.

If you have any questions, comments or concerns/want to know more about my fall - please feel free to ask me. Thank you all for listening and those who have been supportive thus far.

Here is some of the work I’ve done:

[lovelylittlelevity]

Hey, I'm sorry for how rough everything's been for y'all recently. I haven't exactly followed everything that's been happening but I understand enough to know that there's a lot of stress on y'all.

I don't know any of y'all personally (and again, still don't know all the details of what happened) so I'm not gonna say anyone's right or wrong.

What I AM gonna say though, is I love and respect this project. Making a game is hard but you all are making lovely progress. I don't know what the itch.io comments said but I can say that the art is beautiful and I loved getting to punch Macaque in the demo (even if it resulted in him trapping me in his lantern 😔 (which I think is pretty in character for him so... Kudos.))

I don't think people realize how much it sucks to go through something like. Or even how much it sucks to watch a friend go through something like this.

Again, I don't know y'all personally, but I do sympathize with your situation and I extend well wishes to everyone working on this project (whether they've spoken on the blog or not, all of your work is appreciated.)

Normally I don't leave asks off of anon, but I see a lot of people using anon to say things I don't think they would like to be tracked back to them. So I am stepping off anon to show that I do genuinely support your project. (And when I have money to offer, I'd be more than happy to donate in any way I can.)

Thank you very much for the words of support, and we appreciate how hard it is to come off of anon and to say all of this. Sadly, people on the internet just want to boil things down to "drama" without realizing the real-world consequences their actions have. They also don't want to admit that...hey, things on the internet genuinely aren't that serious. The world's a much bigger place than Tumblr and fandom discourse.

As for monetary support, we stress again that it's advisable only to do so if you yourself are financially stable. I harped on this a lot b/c I know a lot of people'd feel like they're obligated to. However we are of course thankful for every donation :3 As for the writing...already said it's gonna be reworked so not much to say there other than thank you for your kind words about how fun it is. This game really isn't meant to be serious. Or that deep. But I can admit when some things need to be tightened up.

~Melody

[fireartandstylezine]

What Happened to #Nanowrimo

A Micro Essay

By Mutiny Crinshaw, co-editor, Grinning Kitten Press

It often appears to me that people in the press & in society at large think of National Novel Writing Month, or Nanowrimo, as some cute little holiday-style project, if not on the level of Mother's Day, than at least Secretary's Day or National Donut Day. Fun, innocuous, something your quirky writer friend does.

That's a misperception. & the scandal which took down the forums & has Nanowrimo's Board of Directors scrambling proves that this perception is in error.

The rumors I have seen in Reddit & elsewhere in the Nano community indicate an abuse scandal. I will not dive into it; I am sure others can inform you much better than I can, & I am not privy to the most important details.

What I want to point out is that Nano isn't just some happy-fun project for your writer friends, although many of your writer friends also think that it is & can be forgiven for wanting to hang out with their other writer friends for this one month just to write.

I want to put Nanowrimo in its larger context.

What began as friends around a table wanting to Chase Those Words & Write a Novel was something anyone could have organized. You, me, your own friends. We organize little events like that all the time.

Nano simply had a certain social capital & gained a certain momentum.

The question of what creative types do with such momentum tells us a lot. It tells us a lot in the context of AI, the Arts, & late capitalism.

The choice of folks behind Nanowrimo was to take that momentum & create a 501(c)3, which is a nonprofit entity under US law.

The ease & lack of controversy around that choice exists in a continuum that constitutes all the rest, shaping the kinds and forms of abuse beyond the most illegal and egregious. It gives legal cover to the broader social harms.

Certainly choosing a nonprofit form is not a mistake on the level of "mistakes" that led to the kind of abuse rumored to be going on around Nano HQ, but it is not an unrelated mistake.

Because it is a mistake about power.

About control.

About bending people to your will.

Most of Nano runs off volunteer labor. Interns, unpaid regional coordinators, & the like.

It is a lot of work they do, year-round. Moderating. Writing grants. Chasing donors.

Meanwhile, HQ has worked with fundraising, PR, branding, & most of all selling memorabilia . . . & the best part of that is, you do not need to "win Nano" to participate in the shopping. Or the donations.

Another problem with a collective enterprise like Nano in our stage of late capitalism is that it encourages writers to hustle. (A phenomenon related to Large Language Models/ChatGPT/AI, but I will not be diving into that too much here.)

Successful hustlers - the REALLY successful ones - have social capital to burn, have wealthy loved ones & donor networks & credit (literal economic credit as well as social credit) that boosts their projects.

So while thousands of writers hunker down for the month of November to hustle their novel into being, the real hustlers at the top can hustle & make money in the name of The Arts.

The average Nano author will not get rich. Will not public unless it is through Amazon. Will work very hard for no money.

But who will make money off Nanowrimo?

Admin.

Thus, it should come as no surprise, if & when Nano HQ's abuse scandal(s) come more to light, that people have been harmed & abused.

The egregious harms lay atop a pervasive culture of exploitation which permeate nonprofits & shape our entire industry of cultural production.

Harm & abuse go hand-in-hand where charity work & volunteer labor are exploited.

The nonprofit-industrial complex provides legally-recognized covers for the harnessing of collective, creative spirit. It drives profits, offsets costs, & masks marketing & PR under a humanitarian guise. In the case of Nanowrimo, it yokes literacy & creativity for the profit of the few admins at the top.

This is "The Arts" in the US. Grifters preying on idealists. Incorporating. & if you are outside the US, you will not go untouched, for our nonprofits come for you & your culture as much as our for-profits do.

In conclusion, we ought to become & remain skeptical of any artistic endeavor that gains prominence under capitalism.

Whether that artistic endeavor promises a hip new movie studio, an artsy social media platform, a rising music label . . . or even a publishing press.

If the Art World & the mainstream media celebrate it, then you know it hates artists. It abuses writers. It milks us for profit.

The best way ahead for Nanowrimo will be for the unpaid regional leads to de-federate from HQ & create new, anti-capitalist enterprises. Artists and writers, we need to form collectives that will meet nonprofits & corporation in cultural combat. No words but class war <3

A rougher draft of this micro-essay was posted earlier on our Mastodon account. It has been edited for stylistic improvements and linguistic and intellectual clarity.

[miju-khan]

( assad zaman, 32, cis man, he/him ) — Look who it is! If you take a look at our database, you’ll find that MIJANUR KHAN is a CARTOGRAPHER that works in SECTOR 5. According to the file, they’re a mutant with the power of BLOOD CONSUMPTION. That must be why they’re CREATIVE and ERRATIC. If you ask me, they remind me of burning rubies and charcoal fingerprints, the acrid taste of copper in the air, and a febrile energy ready to break. They are affiliated with THE SOCIETY.

basic information:

character name: Mijanur Khan

nickname (s): Miju

face claim: Assad Zaman

mutation status: Gen II mutant

birthday: Nov 3

sexuality: Bisexual

moral alignment: Chaotic neutral maybe?

occupation: Cartographer (but he dreams of moving into the artist career soon!)

work sector: Sector 5

affiliation: The Society

3 positive traits: Creative, devoted, adventurous

3 negative traits: Erratic, moody, melodramatic

biography (optional):

tw: blood, death

Miju was born to a council member (whose sector will remain unspecified so I don't block anyone else's potential plots) and an interior designer. He was a very loved, and very sickly baby. Diagnosed with haemophilia, his parents made sure to keep him thoroughly pampered and protected, but he didn't grow any healthier, and his mother's milk seemed only to make him sicker.

His mutation became apparent when he began to teethe, and finally got what he needed. Not mother's milk, but mother's blood. It was a sacrifice both parents happily made for him. Although rationing ensures he gets donated blood bags from the hospital, it is far far better if Miju can drink straight from the source.

The hunger can, unfortunately, be hard to control. Especially as a teenager, because Miju was not exempt from the uncontrollable appetite of being a teenage boy. This led, one day, to him drinking from his willing father, and then drinking, and drinking some more. He drained his father, killing him and irreparably fracturing his relationship with his mother.

The government, naturally, mandated a great deal of therapy and supervision after this. It was many years ago now, and Miju leads a solitary life. He is a creative soul, with a great love for art that he cultivated as a child, losing himself in the beautiful illustrations of fairytale books. This creativity is expended largely on his work, drawing up maps based on information brought back by those that traverse the expanse. He does annoy his more pragmatic colleagues, because Miju is prone to flights of fancy with his maps and adds more extraneous illustrations than is strictly necessary. But HE is having fun doing it!

Generally, Miju leads an isolated life. He's ashamed of his past, afraid of what he might do. But he IS very active with the Mutants' Society. He wants mutants to have adequate support networks, protections, etc, so while he can be quite flippant day-to-day, this is one thing he is very earnest about.

questionnaire:

how do they feel about living in sol city? have they always lived there or did they travel from another settlement?

He has always lived here, so knows nothing else. He certainly prefers it to the alternative. With that said, he would love to go on reconaissance missions to scout out locations to map! Unfortunately due to the haemophilia, it's too risky for him to travel where he might get injured.

do they trust the council’s leadership? why or why not?

He is critical of them, but not necessarily against them. He just feels they have their own agenda and he wants to examine those agendas closely before he puts his support behind any proposed motion. He likes to bitch and moan about them, because he likes to bitch and moan, but truly he supports the idea of a hierarchical structure.

Also, though, he inevitably feels awkward around the council. Being that he accidentally killed his dad, a council member. Ha ha :O)

if they chose their sector and profession, why did they make that choice? if they didn’t, why not? were they happy with their assignment or not?

He did! In an ideal world, Miju would be an independent artist with a wealthy patron (with or without Benefits, ahem), but until he can make his way into the art sector, he enjoys cartography as it allows him to exercise some artistic freedom.

what’s one object that they always keep on their person?

Splint rings. They can restrict his movement a bit when he's trying to work, but Miju suffers frequently from joint pain and they help. He generally also has painkillers, heat pads, and various other portable first aid goods.

(mutant only section)

what is your character’s ability (or abilities)?

Blood consumption. Not really an ability so much as a straight up mutation.

are they gen i or gen ii?

Gen II.

what can your character do? what are their strengths?

He can consume blood. I say 'can'. He has to, he can't digest anything else. His strengths include having cute pointy canine teeth.

One nice thing about his mutation is that his saliva contains endorphins -- it cannot be transferred mouth to mouth, but mouth to wound? Definitely! So when he drinks blood from a person, they don't feel pain, and they get a nice high out of it.

His eyes change depending on his hunger level. When freshly sated, his eyes are bright red, and in general his skin is flushed and plump. When hungry, his eyes are dark brown, and he has a sickly pallor about him.

Drinking blood also helps if he has had any bleeds recently. If he can't get a transfusion, a little drink can replenish his health pretty well! It's not got any real healing powers for him but it does help with managing his illness.

what can’t they do? what are their weaknesses?

His weaknesses are that if he doesn't drink blood, he is getting no nutrition. Simples !

is there anything else you’d like to specify about them?

No!

[joycrispy]

So I've mentioned before that I've had a lot of arts n' crafts small creative projects on the go (and a few not-so-small ones, but that's another post), and I just kinda felt like talking about 3 of them.

SO I WILL.

1. Bookbinding

This is more of an ongoing learning process than any one particular book I'm binding --but the process is going very well. Pictured here is the latest attempt, and my most ambitious attempt in that it was mostly me going, 'huh, I wonder if that would work' and dicking around until I got some sort of result.

(Example: I dyed that cover black. Did not know if it would work. It...kinda does? Further testing required.)

The final book is far from perfect, but I'm actually very happy with it. It's like a prototype of the kind of book I've been wanting to make all along, the whole reason I picked up bookbinding. Old fashioned tomes are the goal here.

More on that in a bit.

2. DnD Character Journals

At the moment I am in three different ongoing campaigns (including one I'd been playing in for two years before Covid happened, now picked back up again, and another which is a sequel to a previously completed campaign. Exciting stuff. The third is a character I usually reserve for one-shots, but she got a whole campaign this time. Good for her!), and I have completed journals for two out of my three characters.

(If you don't know what a character journal is: it's basically just a Character Sheet, but way more extra and ~Aesthetic. Sort of a functional gaming scrapbook. I also design mine to make the game as accessible as possible to my very ADHD brain. I highly recommend it, as a practice).

Pictured here is the main stat page for my monk, Wormwood, who just reached level 5.

Speaking of DnD...

3. Campaign Journal

So anyone who has played with me knows that I take EXTREMELY DETAILED NOTES, but this time around I'm taking the notes, immediately converting them into readable prose recountings (as opposed to fast n' easy notetaker's shorthand, which only makes sense to me), and then sharing them as an editable Google document with the group. They can add anything I missed, or flesh out details I skimmed over, add their character's POV of a scene, or whatever they like!

(This also has the neat side-effect of generating material for the DM's World Anvil, which is nice. He's free to pick and choose what he wants, or ask me to write an article for him, etc.)

This makes it very easy for the group to refresh their memories between sessions, but also, when the campaign is finished...there will be a very thorough record of it.

Last year I had the thought that, with the way I take my notes, I could easily print out a campaign journal and bind it as a physical book, and then have that as a memento/give it as a gift to the other players.

That's an exceptional amount of work to do AFTER the fact, but doing it one session at a time, as they happen...that's very doable.

I mean. People bind novel-length fanfiction for their own personal collections. There's no reason I shouldn't bind a novel-length campaign, lol.

And I can personalize each book to each player, as well! No, yeah, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I love to contribute to a game. The group's excited, I'm excited, lots to look forward to, here.

I have other projects, including two large ones that are each going to take the better part of 2024, which slows all these little ones down...but I'm consistently whittling down the daily to-do list into something more manageable.

And work is nice right now because my main job atm is something I'm really, really good at...

(charity fundraising: my location is 1st in the district and 7th in the country for donations, and almost a third of those donations were made through me. I'm very, very good at this part of my job)

(I tend to be good at things I care about --ADHD, like I say-- and our partner charity benefits local queer and disabled kids who need shelter and support, so, YES, I CARE ABOUT THAT)

...so it makes the days pass quickly and peacefully. I get to come home in a good mood to all my little arts n' crafts. It's been very fun.

I'm glad I have time to be on tumblr again, though.

[emojiburst]

Full Blog FAQ!

Tips on how how to use my emojis, requesting emojis and my shop and other social medias! (Updated 10/30/23)

How to use my emojis:

My emojis are free and posted basically every single day around 1 pm. You don't have to pay for them to use them or whatever.

You don't have to credit me for anything, like I said, but it would really help me out by getting my stuff out into the world. That's what'll help me make more and grow and all that, you know?

Save them and enjoy them! If they're popular in your server, let me know! Maybe like and reblog, so more people come. More people mean more requests and more requests means more variety! It really helps everyone who likes getting them every day.

Pro-tip! A lot of my emojis look better as a Discord sticker than an emoji, as seen in the example here. Especially the bigger ones. Feel free to use them as both.

----------------------------------------------------------------

How to request a custom/OC emoji:

You're completely allowed to just PM me asking for a fandom/character emoji!

If you want to request a custom emoji like an OC, here's the pricing.

A face Custom OC emoji is $2. This is just for the circle head, no neck or shoulders.

A half body Custom OC emoji is $5. This is a bust that goes to the waist at the absolute most.

A full body Custom OC emoji is $10. This goes all the way to the feet.

You can give me the expression by description or sending a reference and I'd send you the rough sketch of the expression before you'd have to pay for it. You can also dictate whether or not you'd like me to post it on the blog with your name for character credit, or even at all.

I accept Zelle (PM me for the info!).

I also accept Cashapp ($RaynaWolfen) and Venmo (@ RaynaWolfen)

I also take donations if you're feeling extra nice, but they are obviously never required. I love you, no matter what.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

About my store:

Shirts, mugs, hoodies, notebooks, stickers and magnets! If you really, really resonate with an emoji, maybe get a cute little laptop sticker or a warm, fuzzy hoodie.

https://www.teepublic.com/user/honeybee-haven

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Last but not least!

Actually, most important of all..

If you like something, please reblog it. Likes are great for my self-esteem, but reblogs help me. They help my blog, they let more people who might see my stuff and love me and make requests see me. It's all I ever ask from anyone that comes here. Please reblog any emoji you like and I'm actually love you forever.

I'm a small artist. I do these, I practice rug making, I struggle trying to get seen in algorithm world and the world of people posting two billion things a minute, just the same as any other artist. It's not my job, I'm not a professional, I just do this for fun because it makes me happy and things that make you happy are hard to come by nowadays. So if you like my stuff.. Please like, reblog and/or let me know! I read every comment, every PM, every single tag. Everything, it really brightens my day. Spam likes. I LOVE when I wake up to one person spamming 17 likes and a follow because they randomly found me one morning. It feels nice, anyone who creates anything knows exactly what I mean.

Please interact in any way you can.. and thank you so much to people that do. You're all loved. You're all appreciated. I notice everyone and I wish you the absolute best in your life, no matter who you are. Enjoy my emojis!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

All of my other links and places where I post my art:

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[phtalogreenpoison]

Intro post!

so I'm thinking right. I've had this blog for like six months now, so I thought I would just lay out some basic intro stuff! (for like my all of twenty or so followers lol)

I am phtalogreenpoison and I go by Green!! I use any pronouns (see bio for specific ones), as I am genderqueer and genderfluid, (although I have a few exceptions of stuff I don't like)(generally they is fine if you're unsure of what to use).

I am an adult, and I usually follow the fandom rules of Don't Like; Don't Read, so proceed with caution (I will tag anything I think could be a content warning). I don't post any explicit stuff, although my humor can get nsfw-ish sometimes in real life, but I try to be careful. This is mostly because I know I have a couple minors following me, (this may be why it may take me a longer time, if at all, to follow you).

I've got some mental illnesses, so I will occasionally have a vent post or ramble about my life, so yeah! I mostly post about fandom stuff though, and I am all about the silly goofy vibes.

Likes/Fandoms: The Mysterious Benedict Society, Bungou Stray Dogs, tomorrow x together, BTS, art, poetry, etc. I may add more to this in an edit later

DNI: If you're gonna be mean, just don't. Peace and love friends.

EDIT: I also like ATLA, The Starless Sea, Fullmetal Alchemist, Red Velvet, Sunmi, Janelle Monae (and all of their lore!), Link Click/Shiguang daili ren, The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi, and lots more! :D

EDIT:

Just a heads up!

For anyone sending me donation asks: I really, really wish I could support you right now. I don't have an income at the moment and am living with my parents, but when I am financially able, I would like to for what I can.

If you still want me to spread your campaign, I am happy to do so. Please note that it may take a couple days for me to get through all the asks in my inbox, and I answer them chronologically (oldest asks first).

Also if your blog has gotten deactivated, my inbox may have eaten/deleted your ask! It says I have 10 more messages than I do that are showing up!

Peace and love friends <333

[cheerfulmelancholies]

Masterlist

Profile pic by @annama-art

About me: I love reading/writing and at any given moment I have too many projects circling through my head. I've loved to read for as long as I can remember and I've enjoyed writing things for that same amount of time. I also love video games and motorcycling, so if I'm not working on a wip I'm usually doing one of those two.

I'm not currently published, but I have a handful of original stuff I've been working on as well as fanfic. Some of my favorite tropes to read are found family, action/suspense, angst, horror/supernatural and slice-of-life. I tend to write very light sci-fi, action, supernatural, angst (though usually with a happy, if not bittersweet, ending) and occasionally somewhat comedic stuff. Sometimes, sometimes, I make shit get dark. I struggle with writing mystery and heavy romance, though I've been experimenting with the latter. A lot of my characters have somewhat sad backstories because apparently that's just what I do.

Tag game friendly!

I also love hearing about other people's wips so anyone is welcome to ramble in my inbox about their ocs and stories.

Side blogs: @purefandomonium: my blog for anything fandom-related. @artspace1001: for any art or photography.

Other places to find me: I currently lurk on FFN and AO3 under the username ThisPerson1.

Info about my wips below the cut.

All of my works are primarily tagged under their full titles, the fandom name if it's a fic, "creative writing," "writers on tumblr," "fanfic" and "my writing." Anything extra will be listed.

Original WIPS:

Medical Mechanical: A story about a couple of friends who set out to uncover the truth behind the mysterious mega-corporation that has infested their town and done strange things to their parents. Sci-fi, young adult, and I guess it also sort of falls under action, although nothing major really happens until much later. Additional tag(s): "mm" and "sci fi."

It's the first original thing I began posting about and also my favorite original project. I actually do have tons more than what I've posted thus far, but I got caught up in perfecting it and then sidetracked and kind of just stopped talking about it.

The Set Up: A sort of enemies-to-lovers* story involving two old acquaintances meeting years later and being reminded of how much they piss each other off. After they end up stuck together on a camping trip that was nothing more than a mischievous plan by their respective friends, they're forced to deal with each other until the trip ends. (Very light) Romance*, slice-of-life, humor/comedy, and angst—mostly due to their past trauma.

It's the second original project I'm working on, although this one has taken a backseat to my other works because I'm still going through the process of reformulating it. I thought I had it figured out, and was originally going to have it take place in college and be a forced-by-friends camping trip gone wrong, but I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know, but the way it was coming along just... didn't feel right. So I decided to essentially start over rather than force myself through something I wasn't enjoying and that wasn't getting anywhere. The main theme is that the two MCs initially can't stand each other and butt heads, however, they eventually learn more about themselves and each other and start making amends.

*I'm also at a point where I don't think I'm going to keep it as romance, but instead have their relationship be platonic. We'll see.

Connection: Pokepasta/Glitchy Red fic about a girl who manages to befriend the embittered glitch. In other words, hermit high-schooler gets ahold of the titular Red cart and gets a new friend, and local depressed kids' game may not think life is so miserable anymore. Sci-fi/supernatural (because my version of Red is somehow both just a bunch of code and some digitalized cryptid entity,) very mild angst in the form of bullying, and found family/friendship. Additional tag(s): "glitchy red" and "pokepasta".

Fanfic:

I got the brainrot and just wanted something to write with no worries. I write a chapter and as long as it holds up the story it gets published. That's it. I'm taking a break from serious writing/editing with this one. I've already let it get too out of hand as is. It was supposed to be a two-parter. Now look at it.

Mysterious New Member: Fic about the BF5 gaining a new member under mysterious circumstances. Due to the secrets she seems to be hiding, and the rising tensions of the war, Vert and the others find themselves on edge and at odds over what to do. Takes place during Fused. Sci-fi, action/adventure, humor. Additional tag(s): "bf5," and "hot wheels battle force 5."

Fun fact: This is a fic I started when I was like 13. I recently began rewriting it because now I am not 13 and I was rereading it one day and went, "The fuck did I write it like this for???" So began my tedious work of redoing the whole thing. The original is actually still up on FFN under the exact same name, for the new one I only added rewrite to the title 😅 I'm not mad at myself for the way it came out or anything, as I was literally a kid, but I can safely say my writing has improved immensely and I just couldn't fight the urge revamp it. I'm quite proud of how this new one is coming along, being both an improvement of my original version and also a slightly daker and more interesting take on BF5. I'm actually close to done, I'd say about 75-ish percent. I really just have two more major plot points to go through and the rest is just tying up loose ends as I go along. That said, if you'd like to check out the abandoned original, feel free. Just be prepared for a bit of whiplash when comparing the two.

It's The Thought That Counts: Dead Plate AU fic I started on a whim and, like a lot of things, it got out of hand and became a fun little side project. Rody isn't hopelessly pining after Manon, who's still alive but not relevant to the story, and Vincent isn't a psycho cannibal killer. Essentially gay panic meets bi-denial, Rody attempts to impress Vincent by learning how to bake lemon-themed desserts after he discovers it's the only thing that gives him any semblance of taste. After a shaky start, Vince decides to start giving Rody lessons and they eventually come to terms with their feelings. Romance, humor, angst, slice-of-life.

I've actually never written proper romance before this and am absolutely shocked that it's coming along as well as it is. It's the most fluff I've ever written. For whatever reason, these two dorks are super easy for me to write. I also recommend checking out the game, it's super fun.

There is so much more, but I'm going to stop for now.

If it wasn't already obvious, writing is my biggest passion and I hope to keep improving and expanding what I do. I'm also always open to advice and constructive criticism, and I hope to inspire and help others with their writing. Also, if you write anything with the tropes or genres that I listed, don't hesitate to tag me and I'll check them out! I really enjoy reading other people's works.

So yeah, that's me. If you made it this far, thank you for checking out my blog (and my long ass intro post) and I hope you'll stick around and see what I have to offer. Be on the lookout for more and more to come!

[welldonebeca]

The Pack (I)

Summary: Sam and Jess decide to spend Spring Break with you and Dean and finally - after a good night together - join your pack. And you all mate. Of course. WC: 3.5k words Warnings: A/B/O dynamics. Tension. Hurt/Comfort. Flirting. Lactation kink.

If you like my work, consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my Patreon. It’s just $2 a month and helps a lot while I go through these hard times.

Masterlist

“We decided on a neutral colour,” you told Jess as you showed her your nursery, which you had just finished painting a couple of days ago. “Because we can reuse it, you know? We plan on moving her to a bigger room by the time we have a second.”

Jess was Sam’s girlfriend, his Omega, and was just visiting along with him for spring break.

“So you know it’s a girl?” she asked.

You shook your head, caressing your belly and your barely-showing bump.

“No, the doctor said it’s still a month until we can see anything officially. Maybe even more. But I think she is a girl.”

You were her mama, and mamas never got it wrong.

“Aww, this is so exciting!” she exclaimed. “I can’t wait to be an aunt.”

She touched your belly happily, and you were happy that it was finally starting to show a little bit, though it was nothing near your tits. Now that you had started pumping, they had stopped growing so much, but they were still bigger than their past self.

“You know,” she looked at you. “Have you ever thought about having a mural? Something sweet, maybe behind the changing table?”

You nodded a little.

“Well, I thought about it. But we don’t know anyone who can paint like that,” you told her. “And it’s our baby. I don’t know if I’d let a stranger do something without any meaning on the wall, I want it to be something she looks at and I can say ‘daddy painted it for you’ or ‘mama painted it for you’, but neither of us is good with art.”

Jess pouted a little.

“Oh,” she nodded a bit. “Well…”

You finally realised what she was talking about.

“I do like the sound of your ‘auntie Jess painted it for you’,” you teased her.

Her eyes sparkled, and her lips curled in a big smile. Jess was so pretty!

“If it isn’t much to ask,” you told her. “Because you are a guest, I don’t want to make you work.”

She waved a dismissive hand.

“Oh, no, don’t worry!” she assured you. “I mean, we have all week!”

Such a short time…  you wished they could stay a little longer.

“And it’ll be my birthday present to you!” she affirmed, squeezing your hand.

Sam had bought you some gift cards as your birthday gift, which you didn’t mind.

But a mural… well, it would be very nice.

“I’ll see if I can ask Dean to take you to Home Depot for some paints later,” you offered, taking her hand as you both went outside to find your boys.

They were in the backyard… arguing?

“Dean, those are humans!” Sam stomped his foot. “They are treating those Omegas like livestock!"

Oh… so they were talking about that.

“You know, for a guy who is all about researching, you’re really bad at looking into Shurley’s. All the omegas consent to it and they can quit anytime,” Dean reminded him.

“The only kind of omegas they would seek out would be the ones who are desperate, and you think they wouldn’t target that?” his brother insisted.

Ever since you two started donating milk, there had been a boom in the company’s popularity. You would like to think it was you, but you also knew they were expanding, and with that came fame.

They set up farms East, and now they had plans on going west, which Sam was not happy about.

“It’s predatory!”

“It’s a job!” Dean corrected him. “Like… like OnlyFans. And escorting. And something for the greater good, like sperm donation! They help people everywhere!”

Sam took a hand to his face, growling.

“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about this, especially with how you treat-“

“Um? Sam?” Jess called out, stopping both men.

The way he treated… you.

Sam was very critical of your relationship with Dean. Well, he was critical of anything and everything Dean did.

It made you very sad because Dean loved him more than anything in this world.

… maybe not you. You didn’t like to ponder on that, because it wasn’t a competition.

But he adored Sam, and always made sure things were always perfect for him, so he could have everything he wanted.

Even with college, Dean wanted to pay for everything, so Sam would just study. His house, his car and tuition… but he didn’t let him do more than put his name on the lease. And since he had gone to college, he was distant from his brother.

This visit was new to him.

But he liked you, you knew that. Sam always said he wanted you to be safe and happy, but you felt like he didn’t listen to you. You had said to him a thousand times that this is the happiest you have ever been, but he still wouldn’t understand.

It was good that Omegas could do whatever they wanted, and have the lives they wanted, but you liked your life. You liked being a housewife and attached to Dean by the hip and having him take care of everything. It made you happy!

“Oh, hey, sweeties,” Dean flashed you two a smile. “Do you need anything?”

“Is everything alright?” Jess asked

“Oh, yes,” he assured you, but you knew he was lying. “Don’t worry, doll.”

Sam’s lips curled in a growl.

“Don’t call her that.”

But Jess smiled. She didn’t seem bothered at all.

“You know what?” Sam decided and walked to you two. “How about they contribute? They have a voice, you know?”

You frowned. What now?

Dean always asked your opinion on things.

“How do you feel about what Shurley is doing to Omegas?”

Jess sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, that… Sam…” she looked at him, clearly something they both knew about. “I mean, we don’t want them being abused under them, you know?”

“But they are nice,” you told her. “Their Omegas have a good contract, their needs are all met, and I looked into it and their health insurance is the best in the country. Dean is even getting me in it. The insurance company, I mean.”

Jess raised her eyebrows, surprised.

“Really?”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “We’ve looked into the company. Well, I did more than Dean.”

You tried not to flush thinking of it. They didn’t need to know how you knew all of those things.

“They distribute breast milk even to smaller hospitals, and to families who don’t have ways to feed their pups,” you told her.

“Wait. Why are you looking into them?” Sam looked at you, curiosity getting the better of him. “Is Dean making you-“

You couldn’t take it.

“Can you be nice for once?”  you interrupted him. “Everything is ‘Dean’s doing this’, ‘Dean’s doing that!”

Your husband’s eyes widened, and you stomped, walked closer to his brother and raised your head to look at his face, now fully angry.

You were so tired of Sam accusing Dean all the time!

“The rain starts out of time, and it’s Dean’s fault. You can’t find a shoe, and it is Dean’s fault! If you disagree with something, Dean has to be wrong because you are never wrong!” you growled at him. “Dean doesn’t treat me right, Dean doesn’t know this, Dean’s help is useless… will you, please, stop?”

Someone put a hand on your back, very delicate, but you shrugged them off.

How dare he be so mean to your Alpha? Your husband was a very loving man, even if he wasn’t good with his words. He always compensated them with his actions.

“Dean redecorated the guest room just so that you two would be comfortable!” you told him. “He bought a new mattress, made sure we have your favourite foods, and has been spending the whole week trying to find a way to convince you into letting him get you some dental insurance because you are too stubborn to let him help you!”

Sam stared at you with wide eyes, shocked, and you stepped away from him, not wanting to get into a fight, but came back as soon as you realised you weren’t done.

“Your brother thinks the world of you! He tells the people all the time that his little brother is a smart lawyer and got into Stanford all on his own,” you continued. “He keeps pictures of when you were little all around because you don’t like to take pictures with him anymore, and always talks about gifting you and Jess a house in the town so that we could see one another more often without you being overwhelmed by his presence.”

“Baby,” Dean called you.

“So don’t come to me with that talk of Dean forcing me to do anything! Because I only cook when I want, I only clean when I want, and I am very spoiled every day because he is a very good Alpha, the same way that he is a very good brother! And I value that very much!” you finished. “And just because you think an Omega is only good when she is working, it doesn’t mean we can’t be happy staying home!”

Your eyes welled up, but you kept your stance, walking away from him in strong steps and stomping right back into your room.

After that massive rant, you curled up into your big pillow to scream, though you could still hear the three outside.

You had never, ever, been so upset with someone before, but he needed to hear that!

"I... I don't-" Sam tried to speak. "I mean..."

"Sam, you should talk to her," Jess interrupted him.

There was a moment of silence before she continued.

"Dean... I know this is strange, but she wanted to know if you could drive me for some paints. I'd love to do a mural for the baby."

"That would be very nice, Jessica," your husband agreed. "We can go now. And they should have a moment alone."

You looked up from your pillow, still hugging it.

"Come in," you mumbled.

He opened the door carefully.

"I added the colourful marshmallows you like," he tried to smile.

You glared at him, bitterly.

"Oh, how presumptuous of you," you grunted.

Still, you took the drink anyway.

You did love the colourful marshmallows.

He sighed, putting his own mug aside, and it looked way more boring than yours.

“Listen, I’m sorry," he apologised. "I shouldn’t have been so hard on Dean."

"You're right, you shouldn't," you confirmed.

He smiled the littlest bit.

"I just... I get so worried for you," he told you.

You lowered your mug, chewing one of the marshmallows.

“Why?” you finally asked him. “Sam, you’ve known me for years, why do you think I can’t take care of myself?”

Sam hesitated for a moment, and you continued to stare at him.

What, did he think you were dumb?

"You're an Omega," he said, at last. "And a woman. A very feminine woman. People sometimes take advantage of people like you."

You sighed. Of course you knew all of that. Your whole life, people looked at you different for being girly and wanting to settle down and just have a family. No fancy schools, just a house to command and babies to raise.

"I know, Sam," you touched his hand. His hand was so warm. "But I live like this because I chose this life for myself. I see how people treat me, and I’m very aware of it. The last thing I want is someone thinking they know what’s best for me.”

He nodded with you.

"You're a very nice girl," he told you. "Dean is... very lucky. To have you."

You tilted your head.

Oh, you knew those eyes.

Sure, you weren't school sharp, but you could read people like paper.

"Do you remember..." you spoke slowly, starting to reminisce. "When Dean asked me to Prom, and he had you helping?"

Dean always wanted to share everything with his brother.

Everything.

You giggled.

Dean didn't want a prom date, he wanted an easy lay.

And you weren't an easy lay.

"So he did it again," you reminded him. "And a third time."

"And then you accepted," Sam pointed out.

You chuckled.

"I remember how jealous you looked when I did," you teased him.

Sam stopped, frozen and flushing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he tried to deny it.

You laughed.

"I always knew you had a little crush on me, Sammy," you told him. "I just didn't know it had never gone away,"

Sam was blushing so much. It was adorable.

"Y/n," he stuttered. "I... Dean... Jess..."

"Families are packs, Sam," you reminded him. "It's very normal for a pack to be big."

Still, he pulled away from you.

"Listen... I do love you," he affirmed, your heart soar and your chest ache. "But I won't do that to Jess. Packs are too traditional, and we don’t want that."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Does she?" you asked him. "Are you sure?"

You had seen the way Jess looked at your belly, and how she was fascinated with the ins and out of your life as you told it to her.

“It’s not wrong to want it,” you whispered to him.

Sam nearly growled.

"Not wrong?" he asked. "To want to own my omega or take control like some knot head?"

"Yes," you whispered. "Exactly. To care for her and spoil her."

He didn't look at you, and you rested your head on his shoulder.

"You know, Dean treats me very well," you told him. "He is so sweet, Sam. Always giving me little gifts, always making my life comfortable... I barely lift a finger around here."

His skin was so warm against yours. Still, Sam kept drinking his mug, and you just then realised what he was drinking.

You didn't have milk at home.

Not conventional milk, at least. Just yours...

You were producing so much, you kept a bit of yours to yourselves.

And Sam seemed to be enjoying it very much.

"I used the milk in the half-empty bottle," he told you. "I hope that's alright? I wasn't sure if it was something you were saving it for some recipe."

You shook your head.

"No, it's just milk," you assured him. "It's just not pasteurised. We got it fresh today."

“I mean, yeah, it’s really good," he nodded again, emphatic. "You guys don’t even have cows anymore, where do you get it?”

You smiled smuggle,

“Oh, just some other farmers were kind enough to give some of theirs…. Deans been experimenting with it...”

Your husband had been very curious with what your milk could bring before a baby.

“He's actually made some fresh ice cream with it," he told you. "You wanna try it?"

You raised your head from his shoulder and Sam relaxed completely now.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Of course."

You really shouldn’t get turned on by this.

You were tricking your brother in law... but you knew if Sam knew he would start worrying, and you just wanted this week to be perfect!

"I'll serve you," you hopped off your bed. "Come on."

Sam didn't say anything as you guided him downstairs and waited as you served him a big ball of sweet vanilla ice cream, and Sam almost immediately dug in.

"Oh, God," he huffed. "This is really good. It's so sweet!"

Sam licked the spoon with his skilled tongue, and you squirmed, feeling yourself getting wet, and your chest felt a little tight and-

"Oh," you gasped, feeling your clothes wet.

You were leaking again!

"I'm sorry," you covered your chest. "I need to go clean up."

You rushed out of the kitchen before he could say anything, looking for your pump.

Where had Dean put it?!

Finally, you managed to find it and hid in your work room before setting it up.

What would Sam and Jess think if they saw you like this?

Before you could overthink, your door opened, and Dean walked inside.

"There you are!" your husband smiled. "Baby! Jess is so perfect! I didn't know how perfect she would be, she is all sweet."

You raised your eyes to him quickly.

"Oh, you think so too?" you asked him. "I was thinking... oh, Dean, we really could have a pack, couldn't we?"

You two had talked a bit about it - before and after getting married.

But you never found someone who would be a good fit.

Until today, that was.

"Now you’re reading my mind,” Dean smirked, taking a seat beside you. "You, me, Sammy and Jess... I don't even know how Sam has bred her up already. They’ve been dating for four years!"

You shook your head. That was way too long of a time.

But they were at least mated.

"Of course you're thinking of breeding," you giggled. "Another cow for the family business."

He chuckled, touching your leg and caressing your thigh slowly.

"She has so much untapped potential, baby," he hummed. "Beautiful tits, long legs... oh, I imagine she can bounce pretty well on cock, uh?"

You squirmed, warmed by his words and the pump.

But Dean pulled away from you and rested on the chair slowly, just smirking a little.

Suddenly, Jessica walked into the room.

"Dean?" she called.

She gasped, though, when she looked at you.

"Oh!" she covered her eyes. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright," you assured her. "Just... Omega business."

She flushed and Dean looked back at her.

"Yes, doll?" he asked.

Her cheeks were flushed, and Jess couldn't look up.

"Sam wants to talk to you," he told you. "In the kitchen."

Dean nodded.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I'll go talk to him."

He left and Jess hesitated, about to do the same, but you stopped her.

"Hey," you called her. "Sit down, it's alright. Nothing you haven't seen before."

If she was going to be part of your pack, then she had to get used to this, right?

She sat down, but still didn't look at you.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just... always thought this was private. My mum always says people should cover-up when breastfeeding."

You scoffed.

"Oh, come on," you shook your head. "Boobs are made for babies. Anything else is an extra."

Jessica giggled.

“I guess that’s true,” she finally looked at you, and then frowned, pointing to your chest. "Uh... is that from Shurley’s? Is that why you were so defensive before?”

You hesitated a bit.

Oh, well.

"It is," you agreed. "I have a... special situation. Condition. Something like that, I can say."

Jessica frowned, worried.

"It's alright," you assured her. "I just have milk. Lots of it. So I needed a special pump and only they have it. It's been helping me a lot in the last month."

She nodded along.

"I guess that's good," she pointed out. "You wouldn't want a mess everywhere."

Oh, if a mess was everything you were worried about.

"And it hurt so much," you told her. "My body ached to feed my baby when she isn't even out yet. I was so desperate I thought about just offering to feed newborns at the hospital."

You both laughed at the joke.

"I donate my milk," you told her. "So I guess I do feed hospital babies. Just not directly."

She beamed.

“That’s amazing!” Jess exclaimed, awed. “I wish I could do that… sometimes I volunteer, but to make a difference like that..”

“And your body loves it too!” you praised it. “It can be messy, but it’s all for the babies and that’s all I care about.”

She watched you, impressed.

"That sounds dreamy," she told you. "Your life is just wonderful. I wish I could just...  you know."

She lowered her eyes, unsure, not wanting to finish it.

You looked into her eyes.

"Wish you could, what?"

She hesitated, sighing and looking at the door.

"I mean... you guys are so lucky," she explained. "Sam and I... I don't want it to come out wrong, but we are struggling a bit. With our loans, you know?"

You nodded a bit. School loans were very expensive, especially for schools so big, such as Stanford.

"It's not a crippling debt, but it will be a while before we feel ready to have a baby, and you are ready to have another as soon as this one comes out!" she pointed at you. "It's such a good place and it... it makes me a little jealous."

"Well, what if we could help?" you suggested vaguely.

Her eyes shone at the idea, but she quickly looked away.

"Sam wants to do it on his own," she shook her head. "I have to support him."

"You are such a good Onega," you praised her, and Jess flushed. "But you know... if we all work on convincing him, he can't say no. Especially if he hears how much you want a baby."

Jess blushed even more.

"You'll be such a good mama," you told her, teasing her now. "You're so sweet and caring, and with Sam, you'd have a big belly, you know? Maybe even twins."

The machine stopped, and she looked right at your tits before you moved to remove the suction, bottles now full.

"I should put these away," you sighed, sweetly. "Talk to Sam, Jess. He will appreciate it."

You leaned by her side and placed a little kiss on her cheek, tits barely in your bra, and adjusted yourself before actually dressing up fully.

. . .

"The Pack" is the second part of "The Milk series". To read its sequels - "The Farm" - a Castiel x Reader x Dean - and "The Family" - a Jess x Reader & Sam x Reader - subscribe to my page! It's just $2 a month and helps me a lot through these hard times.

. . .

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[gothbobas]

if anyone wants to help a broke gay trans guy out for pride month I could really use some right now. my boyfriend who is also a trans guy has been suffering from long covid and only works part time now. he just took his car in to get serviced and its $225 just for the diagnosis, and likely to be $1500 for all the maintenance. if he doesn't get the maintenance done he could lose his extended warranty.

i want to say that if he was able to work like he used to be it might not be a big deal, but at the moment we're kind of screwed because I've been the one paying all our bills right now, and I'm looking for a second job at the moment. my income just isn't sustainable. i might be getting a promotion at work, but there's no timeline for that as far as i know, its just a maybe.

so if anyone has anything to spare to get us through this, trust me it would be highly appreciated and I would be so grateful. I hate to do this but I'm so stressed out I don't know where else to go, and this community has always been there for me in dire straights.

I'd also like to say that if you donate to help me I'd be more than happy to do an art commission for you and I will personally thank you! It's not much but its all I can do. thanks for reading and helping in whatever way you can

ko-fi

paypal

[theprodigypenguin]

This year's been quite a lot. I quit a job that I'd been at since 2017 because our employer changed and they were treating me like garbage, started at a new bakery after a month off that I did not enjoy, moved in with a roommate after five years living alone.

I only wrote 3 fics this year.... because my faith in my own abilities was in the gutter and it didn't seem like anyone really gave a damn about my fics. Interaction seemed to be at an all time low. I was spending far too much time on Twitter. Writers get shafted on Twitter, don't go there.

My anxiety and depression got so bad, I upped the dose of my antidepressants and they still weren't working. I need to somehow get on more medication to manage my mental health, because the synapses in my brain don't fire right and it's driving my bonkers.

I also commissioned lots of art, though. I embraced OCs again. I made new friends and somehow managed to keep my old friends. Got a new tattoo (sad it wasn't more than one but I'll take it for now).

My cat is healthy, I manufactured an enamel pin for the first time, which was a new experience I now have. I know how to make croissants from scratch now. And bagels. I can make mousse and lemon curd. Taught myself how to make rolled tamagoyaki. Had a hot pot for Christmas. Built up my wall of Sabo art. Was lucky enough to play a pokemon game for the first time in 25 years of life cuz my bestie got Arceus for me for my birthday.

Lot of bad things happened. And a lot of little good things. I don't know if I have resolutions but I do have things I hope I can accomplish.

I'd like The Baltigo Manifesto to do well, to give writers a bit more of a voice and donate to a charity in need (and give the revs more focus of course).

I'd like to rediscover my passion and enjoyment for my writing. I'd like to write more than 3 measly fics that barely registered in the fandom anyhow.

I'd like to be kinder and gentler to myself. Get myself on some more potent medication and start some real therapy. Somehow. I live in the middle of nowhere so good therapists are hard to come by, and God forbid the doctors listen to me when I ask for different medicine.

I'd like to learn to drive finally. If I had a bit more independence, and the ability to get out of this crap town once in a while, it may help my mental health. My roommate and I wanna move out of state anyway, but we can't do that if neither of us can drive.

I think that's all I have for now. That's all I'd like to accomplish, I suppose. I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year. I hope to be around Tumblr a bit more, y'all are much kinder to writers than Twitter.

Anyway here's a picture of my OCs Aurora and Lysander drawn but Ruffy the absolute king. I hope I can write their stories completely this year too.

[highlynerdy]

15 Questions

Tagged by @fan-man-huaisang and @shana-rosee (a while ago...whoops)💛

1. Are you named after anyone?

I am named after my godfather for my first name and my godmother for my middle name

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday at a friend’s sisters memorial

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I shan’t. But I do quite like to hang out with kids as the fun aunty friend

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, regularly. But only in casual settings.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

The vibes lol. But seriously, I have a fairly accurate read of people right off the bat. I think I notice if they seem genuinely friendly or not.

6. What’s your eye color?

Hazel-ish, that tends towards orange-y when my hair is red, brown when my hair is brown, and green-ish when my hair is blonde.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! I canNOT handle scary movies. At all. The last one I watched was the first Alien about 4 years ago and I had god awful nightmares where I woke up crying. @mr-highlynerdy was concerned. He loves scary movies and I’m sorry I can’t watch them with him.

8. Any special talents?

This is question I don’t want to answer because if I say no, I feel like I’m lying. And if I say yes, I feel like I’m bragging. So I’ll just say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol

9. Where were you born?

Appalachia

10. What are your hobbies?

Too many to count and most of y’all know that lol. Knitting, crochet, sewing, painting, bookbinding, spinning, dyeing, photography......lol. Who has ADHD?? Me.

11. Do you have any pets?

Two kitcats. Lemon, who is a 14 year old grump and I love her endlessly. And Biscuit, who is 7 or 8 (we adopted her in April 2020), and is the chattiest, friendliest love muffin around.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I played basketball most of my life until I realized that I wasn’t going to get taller than 5′4″ and even playing point guard that’s too short. Also played soccer for a few years, ran track (the half mile and mile), and also cross country. I loved playing all sports until my knee injury end of junior year that put all that to a stop. I miss being able to be more active but chronic illness is a motherfucker of unfavorable situation.

13. How tall are you?

5′4″ (~162 centimeters)

14. Favorite subject in school?

Probably Lit or physics.

15. Dream job?

If I could do anything, and money wasn’t an issue, I would probably be a full-time photographer for people who couldn’t always afford a good photographer for their events. Or I would open an awesome community art studio and have classes by donation.

I feel like I’m always the last to respond to these so everyone has probably already done this already. I won’t tag anyone, but please say I tagged you if you want to do it!