#Also I haven't beat the game yet so no spoilers please

[scarlett-draws]

Is the game six years old? Yes. Did I only start playing it a day or two ago? Yes. But they made the mistake of giving me grinding mechanics and a sunshine hunk with red hair. What else am I supposed to do but play it non stop and write fanfic?

[yukimomodivorce]

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

[manicrouge]

SIN CITY

[𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍]: 09/02/24

[𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝]: Rorke finds the Ghost's and you fear you're never going to see Keegan again.

[𝙲𝚠]: Major character death, violence, gore, graphic injury, hurt/ comfort, reader goes THROUGH IT, idk if there's anything else.

[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 7k (exactly btw)

[𝙰/𝙽]: This has literally been in my drafts since Decemeber and I wrote way too much of it to not do anything with it so = I hope this is enough to suffice. Also, this is entirely based off of the mission 'Sin City' in call of duty ghosts, so if you haven't seen or played the game and don't want spoilers then please skip this !! (I would be surprised if you've not seen this yet you're in the Keegan tag.)

Also, if people do enjoy this I am down to write a part two so please let me know :3

ENJOY !!

There may be typos, apologies!!

Please don't post my work anywhere else without my permission !!

‘If I ever went missing, would you go and look for me?'

It was silent for a moment, and after five seconds passed, you turned to look at the man lying beside you. As you observed his features, you realised that his eyes were closed and while you doubted someone’s ability to dose off so quickly, you sure as shit didn’t doubt Keegan’s. His hand on your waist gave him away as it tightened on you, pulling you closer to him.

Opening his eyes, he peered at you with a furrowed brow. ‘The fuck kinda question is that, princess?’ He asked, ‘of course I would. Besides, need you with me,’ he said, ‘who else would I have to watch my back? Didn’t spend all that time training you for you to disappear on me, did I?’

Smug bastard.

'You're full of yourself,' you bit back.

'Good reason to be,' he said, brushing a hand through his black hair, moving his fringe away from his eyebrows, 'I'll consider being humble when I lose you, princess. But that hasn't happened and it won't be happening on my watch, not at all,' he reassured, pulling you closer to him.

You slapped his chest, letting out a heavy sigh, resting your head against his chest. In the dead of the night and the silence in your room, you listen to the thud of his beating heart while held up on a tiny bed. You were practically on top of him, legs intertwined. 

There wasn't anywhere to go, however, and he didn't seem to care about you closeness at that moment. Rather, he settled with the heat of your body much better than he would have settled in a bed with more space.

'You think this'll ever be over?' you mumbled, closing your eyes, 'I'd like to sleep in a bigger bed with you; this ones a little cramped. Maybe even watch something on a TV too.’

'You're free to take the floor if you want to, I'm not stopping you,' he grunted, pinching your waist.

'I'm gonna blow your brains out,' you sleepily mumbled, placing your hand over his. His chest twitches as he lets out a short laugh, folding his arm behind your head so he can brush his fingers through your hair. 'I mean it,' you grumbled.'

'Of course you do, princess,' he said, 'of course you do.'

—

Throughout your training as a Ghost, you gained an understanding that things will never ever be as easy as you wish they were. But, it came with the job, you suppose, whether it was spoken or not. 

Feelings as such only ever drift in when you don’t have a distraction, and the absence of Keegan after Elias sent him to Colorado Springs proved to be bruising. 

Admittedly, you had been apprehensive with Elias’ request, although, in private, you digressed as you noted that Elias is your Captain, and you were to never question your captains judgement. Even when it came to someone that you loved. So, you bit your tongue, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, you allowed yourself to relax. 

But, you have some things you needed to do before you got any sleep, or before you thought about anything else other than Rorke and the Federation. 

‘JSOC’s going to want to move fast on this, so load up before you get any shut eye,’ he advises.

You follow behind him, standing beside Logan as he walked with Hesh and Merrick by his side. Fortunately, the brunt of the experience has been dealt with, you had survived Keegan’s absence overnight, and in a matter of hours, he would be back by your side. Inwardly, you’re embarrassed at your clinginess to him, but deep down you know he enjoys it. 

‘We’ve got six hours until Keegan gets back,’ Elias says. 

Upon the mention of his name, Riley brushes his head against your leg, and you look down at the German Shepherd, rolling your eyes. Leaning down slightly, you scratch his head. ‘Shut up,’ you grumble to the pup when he looks up at you, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. When you pull your hand away, he licks it, staring back at you. With a huff, you fold to his attempt of cuteness, moving your hand to the his head again. 

‘Hold up,’ Merrick says abruptly. 

An arm grabs your forearm suddenly, and you let out a startled breath, though when you look in front of you, you realise you’d almost walked right into Hesh. Exhaling, you turn your head to Logan who gives you a short nod. 

‘Somethin’ feel off to you?’ Merrick asks, turning to Elias.

The man immediately turns to his right, observing a laptop left perched on a desk. He says little for a moment, and when you turn your head away from your Captain, you acknowledge Merrick’s watchful eye as he peers down the scope of his gun, observing the sights through the broad windows located to the left of you. 

‘Security’s working,’ says the man to the right of you. 

Merrick slowly backs away, keeping his eyes trained o the window. You feel your throat tighten as you keep your eyes on the man, his paranoia working well to leave a heavy feeling in your chest. Logan lets go of your arm as he glances at his brother, a look that you don’t miss, and Merrick looks at you. You open your mouth to speak, holding the gun in your hands close to your chest, snapping your head to Riley as the dog begins to bark, glaring directly through he window that Merrick had just kept his eyes trained on. 

While he may be a dog, he is surely not an idiot- in fact, you’re quite sure that Riley is much smarter than many of the people you had encountered when you had been a simple rookie, before Elias had taken you under his wing. He could certainly kill more people, that’s for sure. 

It all seems to happen in slow motion, and the night you had spent prior seems to dissipate in one moment. There’s this hissing, you hear it from below, and before you have time to contemplate what exactly it is, a black can is thrown over the balcony, a train of green smoke pouring from out of the top of it.

‘Fuck,’ you curse, ‘get out!’ you yell, watching as another two cans containing the same foul smelling gas are tossed over  the balcony, hitting the ground with a clink.

As you begin to sprint, you find the air around you is similar to the air you breathed whenever you were spending time with Keegan on his smoke break. All oxygen left your lungs as you broke into a sprint, your eyes water, and before you know it, you falling down to the ground, gasping for air as you feel your eyes grow heavy. 

In the midst of the panic and over the thumping of your heart in your chest, you hear Elias call out, ‘Riley, hide!’ before breaking out into a fit of coughs.

You wretch, clawing at the ground in some form of futile attempt to escape, but nothing works as you watch Logan collapse right before you, spewing out violent coughs. Never have you felt so defenceless, so weak as you succumb to the gas, the world around you growing blurry before fading into complete darkness. 

—

‘What are you doing up, kid?’ Keegan asks, seeing you appear beside him.

Letting out a small yawn, your boots crunch against a few stray rocks as you approach him, taking a seat against the rock he was leaning on, looking out at the remnants of No Mans Land. Logan and Hesh had regarded it as their home, as did their father, though, you couldn’t really picture the place without the addition of a crater which grew every day, claiming the lives of old rickety buildings and unsuspecting wildlife.

It was a sorry sight to see for sure, and inwardly, you were happy you never had the misfortune of seeing your own home falling to pieces.

‘You need sleep,’ he said, taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips. 

Your eyebrows raise as you look at him, crossing your arms over yourself. ‘I thought you said you didn’t smoke,’ you say, 'you're a liar.'

You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at your comment, and when he pulls it from his lips, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, he chuckles. ‘Thought I told you not to hang onto every little thing I tell you, princess,’ he stated, ‘seems like we’re both guilty of doing something we’re not supposed to, hm?’

Placing the cigarette between his lips again, he turns his attention to you, noting that you’d crinkled your nose as the smoke he’d exhaled blew back into your face. ‘You can handle the fuckin’ dust in the battlefield, but the moment you smell a cigarette you fold?’ he mocks, laughing.

Your brow furrows at his comment and you fought of the urge to rip the cigarette out of his mouth. Instead, you allowed him to have his silly little cancer stick knowing that, if you did so something so cruel, he was sure to be upset at you, no matter how close the pair of you were. Cigarettes were difficult to come by and you liked him enough to let him have one in peace. 

—

When the world fades in, you’re moving.

You don’t know how, and for a short second, you’re convinced you’ve died. But, when you take a sharp breath and feel your lungs burning, you’re crudely brought back to life. When you look ahead of you, you witness two soldiers trailing behind you. Keeping your head bowed, you wince at the dizziness wrecking your tired mind, attempting to hold your breath in fear of the due ache in your lungs.

Swallowing, your mouth is dry and you feel the urge to vomit as your head keeps swaying from side to side. Your limbs feel like jelly, fluid. You can hear them talking, although, everything seems miles away from you, and you feel your eyes water as the tightness in your chest grows. If they know you’re here, do they know where Keegan is? The thought sends a chill down your spine, and in your delirious state, you declare that you will kill anyone who even dared to touch even a hair on his head. Even if it meant your death too. 

‘That all you got you piece of shit?!’

It’s Merrick, you recognise his tone from anywhere, it nearly shatters your delirious state entirely, though, the grip on the back of your collar tightens as your pulled away from him.

There’s more shouting and a loud smack, Merrick, you imagine, is on the receiving end of such a hit. A Ghost in true fashion, that’s for sure. As you attempt to lift your head again, you find the world growing dark once more, and, while you feel as though you should fight against it just as you had seen him do, you allow yourself to fall back into the abyss as you feel your lung burning and throat swelling. 

—

There’s a screeching when you come back around, a vile ringing in your ears. ‘Well, I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.’ 

Your blood runs cold.

As you slowly begins to lift your head, a hand grabs your face, forcing your head up. The light protruding from the window to the left of you is nearly bruising, and when the hand holding your face successfully tilts your head up, your eyes meet with Rorkes. He looks down at you with a wrinkled smirk, his hold tightening on your hair, yanking it harder. You wince at the pressure as he keeps his eyes on you.

‘You’re finally awake,’ he acknowledges, pushing your head down, letting go of your hair. ‘Good.’

He walks away from you, and as you look around, you note that Hesh is sitting directly across from you, Logan is to the right of you, and Elias is to your left.

As you continue to look around, your face pales at the disappearance of Merrick, and while you sit, you recall the faint memory in your banging head of the man being surrounded by Federation soldiers.

He’s smart, you think, you could leave that bastard in a forest with a knife and he’d have his own fuckin’ city in a month. He’s fine. 

‘Nice to have the family back together, isn’t it?’ Rorke asks, looking to Elias. The man shows no fear, looking the devil right in the eyes with a stoic expression on his face. ‘One thing, though,’ he says, ‘we’re just missin’ our quiet friend, aren’t we?’ he says.

Your heart calms at such a statement.

He doesn’t have him, he’s fine, he’s safe.

You expect him to keep his eyes trained on Elias, counting on the fact that he is the Captain, but, he turns his head over his shoulder and looks at you. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turns his back to Elias, placing his hands down on his knees, ‘where’s Keegan?’

Looking him in the eyes, you spite your dry throat as the muscles in your neck contort and you muster up a mouthful of phlegm. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and you lung forward, a spray of mucus and saliva coating his face. ‘Fuck you,’ you heave, ‘I’m not telling you a fuckin’ thing,’ you sharply state.

He looks at you with wide eyes, standing up and wiping his face with the palm of his hand. 

‘Damn bitch has got some fight in her, doesn't she?’ he laughs, turning to Elias, ‘not your daughter by blood, but by attitude… fuck me, Elias, you’ve got yourself a mini me!’ he exclaims. You bite your lip, taking a deep breath as you look at your Captain with bleary eyes. Grabbing the back of the man’s chair, he pulls it to him. Elias’ gaze doesn’t leave his. ‘Where is he?’ he slowly questions. 

There’s a moment of silence.

‘You know I’m not telling you a damn thing,’ he spits, baring his teeth in his direction.

Never have you seen the man so agitated, his bruised face flushed red, his split lip oozing with blood, a thin line of it trailing down his chin. He looks like a savage beast as the sunlight behind him renders his features darker than typical, and the curve of his lips when he addresses Rorke even sends a shiver up your spine.

Of course, a Ghost was loyal to his own until death, and even then, they were buried down to watch over them. Once a Ghost, always a Ghost. Elias proved his worth much more than Rorke ever could, and while you wondered what exactly they had done to break the man who Elias had described as ‘one hell of a Ghost,’ but one thing was for certain. A man who broke was not a Ghost. Never was, and never would be.

’Go fuck yourself,’ Elias hisses.

Rorke laughs, nodding his head, letting go of the back of his chair. It lands with a clatter, and you watch as the man continues to nod to himself.

‘Dangerous fuckin’ game you’re playing,’ he states, and you watch as his right hand moves from the front of him, trailing around to the side where his pistol sat in his holster.

He’s gonna shoot Elias. Your eyes grow wide as you watch the man retrieve his weapon. Your muscles tensing as he holds it out in front of him. It’s aimed right at his chest, overing above his heart. ‘Well, let's see if I can change your mind,’ he exhales. 

BANG.

In a moment, his hand whips around, and when the trigger is pulled, all the air in your lungs exudes like puss from a pimple.

The shot causes your ears to ring. It’s loud, and everything is fuzzy. For a moment, you look up in search of the wound, hoping that the bullet had not went through your Captains skull. Only, when you look in his direction, you see the smoking pistol pointed directly at you. Your eyes grow wide, and you let out a short breath.

You heard the gun go off, the bullet had to be somewhere. And then, you felt a wetness pooling against your thighs. Everything seemed to move slowly when you raised your head up, looking across to Hesh with wide eyes. 

I’m going to die, I’m going to die and Keegan isn’t here with me.

As you manage to get a short breath in, agony hits you like a truck and you lean over without a second thought.

I’m going to die.

All you training, everything, how to stop the bleeding, none of it matters; you’re truly at the disposal of the enemy and there’s nothing you can do. Not even you Captain can do anything. 

‘NO!’ Elias screams, dragging you back into the moment. 

Between the thudding beats of your heart, you hear Hesh screaming out bloody murder, thrashing against the ropes that keep him tied to the chair, ‘Son of a bitch!’ he screams, looking directly at Rorke, ‘I’m going to kill you! You hear me? I’m going to fucking kill you!'

A shaky breath leaves you as your eyes well with tears, and when you look down, you gulp hard at the sight of a wound oozing blood. Your throat tightens as you feel your entire body grow hot.

‘Easy junior,’ Rorke warns with a disapproving tone. You keep your head bowed as his shadow looms over you, ‘I ain’t even started with you yet,’ he chuckles.

Keegan, where’s Keegan- I’m going to die.

Your eyes sting as your trembling hands press against the rope, pulling against them. You need to get out of there otherwise you are going to die. 

Elias calls your name, you hear it, he shouts it, yet, it seems so quiet.

'Look at me!’ he demands, and while everything in you is telling you to keep your eyes trained on the wound, you force your head up, sniffing hard as you look your Captain in the eyes. At the very least, even if Keegan isn’t there with you, you have him.

Elias, you captain, your military father. There have been plenty of jokes made during particularly bleak moments in missions where Hesh and Logan have likened you to their sister. It's an honour, truly, to know that they were your brothers no matter relation, and Elias entertained the idea that you were the daughter he had never had. 

Rorke appears behind him and it’s then that you don’t realise how many seconds are passing. Every single second feels like an hour, and you’re more than aware that every second passing is yet another drop of wasted blood. You’re running on borrowed fucking time, and there’s Rorke, the big fucking man he is, parading around in front of you like he’s a jester. ‘That’s right,’ he chuckles, placing his hand on Elias shoulder, ‘that’s it,’ he sighs, ‘show him how much pain he’s causing you right now.’

‘Keegan will kill you,’ you rasp out, stifling a short whimper as you clench your teeth. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I will.’

You’re more than aware of the situation your in and your pessimism seems to waver with your consciousness as a sudden boost of adrenaline fills you with defiance. If you’re going to die, you might as well run your tongue; the worst thing that can happen in this moment is him simply putting you out of your misery. 

Rorke laughs at your threats, ‘you see,’ he begins, ‘funny think about your old Captain here,’ he stops himself for a moment, shoving Elias as he resumes his position, looking you in the eyes, ‘He lets his men die to save his own ass,’ he states, turning his attention away from you, turning his attention back to the Captain.

Exhaling shakily, you look over to Hesh and Logan who return a look equally as frightened. Never have you seen the pair of them appear so apprehensive, although, you definitely don’t miss the look of anger. No, even though the look isn’t intended for you, you feel a chill run up your spine. 

‘Dammit, Rorke,’ Elias yells, ‘this is between you and me!’

The world seems like its on a merry-go-round, twisting and turning leaving a delightful fuzziness in your head. Adrenaline is pupping through you, and you’re thankful for the emotion, for, if you didn’t have it, you very well would have been out like a light. Your hands continue to pull against the ties of your rope, and while your wrists are burning from the constant pulling and tugging, you breath a short sigh of relief when you feel them loosening. Whoever tied it clearly weren’t trained in the art of kidnapping. 

‘Leave my kids out of it!’ Elias demands.

You feel your heart warm at his sentiment, giving you all the more fight to get out of these damn binds. Works gun is right next to him, you can get it, you can reach for it, and you can blow that fuckers brains out. 

‘You’re talking to a superior Lieutenant,’ Rorke says, pacing back and forward, before finding his way right back to Elias. Looking down at the man, he calmly speaks, ‘show some discipline.’

You feel your face grow warm listening to their exchange. 

‘You were never one of us, you’re not a Ghost,’ Elias cruelly says, turning his face away from Rorke, looking down to the ground. Rorke hums, turning his attention back towards you.

The ties are growing looser, they’re getting there, you can almost get your hand out of them, yet, you maintain poker face as you look up at Rorke. 

‘Well,’ Rorke breathes, ‘that’s just cause I’m better than you!’ he exclaims, keeping his eyes trained on you. You watch as they narrow, it’s a subtle one, one that you had noted during parring matches with rookies.

As Keegan had taught you, when soldiers get lazy, they give themselves away and it’s always in the eyes.

Your eyes dart to his hands, seeing him clench his fists as he snaps his body around, driving his fist into Elias’ face. The man falls to the side with a grunt as Rorke takes a short breath before raising his other fist, ‘I’ve always been better than you!’ he seethes, punching that man again. Elias tilts his head back against the chair, and you watch as both Logan and Hesh begin to fight much harder against their restraints. Either way, someone was getting out and Rorke was going to pay. ‘But you… you call yourself a Ghost?!’ he barks, hating Elias again. 

As he looks down on Elias, you pull a hand free from the ties. Keeping your eyes trained on Rorke, you look down at his gun, gritting your teeth. ‘You’re nothing! You and your kids, you’re dead!’ he declares.

Wrong move.

With his proud declaration, you push yourself up from out of the chair, snatching his pistol from out of the holster on his thigh. Such, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed by Rorke as he whips around, grabbing your arms, forcing the pistol up. You place your hands against his, using all the strength you can muster to pull the gun away from him. 

Nothing moves him, however. 

But he’s a monster, he likes to play with his food.

He’s not using all his strength, he’s taking it easy on you, and you’re still losing. As he does so, he laughs in your ear. ‘Oh,’ he gasps, ‘she’s still got a little life in her,’ he laughs aloud, positioning the gun so your pointing it directly at Elias. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you not to aim guns at people?’ You grunt, driving your foot against his boot, feeling his grip falter for a moment. You attempt to move the gun upwards, your finger pressed against the trigger. Everything burns. Everything hurts. But you’re not going to stop, you’re going to kill this bastard even if it kills you. 

Unfortunately he’s a scummy man, and as punishment for you stomping on his foot, he drives an elbow into your stomach, winding you.

Your hold falters- you almost fall to the floor- but he keeps you up on your feet, and through gritted teeth declares, ‘they could go off!’ His finger jams against your pressed against the trigger, a loud shot ringing in your ears. You watch a Elias throws his head to the side as a bullet drives through his chest. You fight against him harder, shaking your head. ‘That’s is!’ He grunts, ‘just a little more that way,’ he instructs you, forcing your hand further to the right. You actively pull away as the both of you fight against each other. Tears are running down your faces at that moment, every pull and tug driving the bullet in your stomach further and further. 

‘Dammit, Rorke, STOP!’ Hesh begs. 

 ‘Point it… at…’ another shot is fired, and Elias takes it with a grunt, 'your Captain.’

As though taking candy from a baby, he lets go of your hands, plucking it out of your sweaty grasp. Gunpowder invades your nostrils as he lets you go. Rookie mistake, you hear it in your head, but it isn't your voice. It's Keegan's.

You wobble on your feet, staggering backwards as your get your bearings. What you need to do is untie Logan who is right behind you, and then when he's distracted you can get to Hesh. Yet, as you step back and begin to move towards Logan, Rorke whips around to face you again driving the butt of the pistol into your face. It hits you with a crude thwack, a stoke of colour meeting your gaze as you fail to catch yourself, tumbling to the ground.

Logan screams out as you fall to the ground, and you tense as you brace for impact. You land with a thud, a broken cry escaping your lips when you feel the bullet lodge in your stomach dig further in.

The pain leaves you gasping an you clench your teeth as the room spins. Nausea spread through you as you lay there attempting to collect yourself, gulping back the urge to vomit.  Resting your palm against the ground, you begin to attempt to pick yourself up. If you can just make it to Logan, you can make everything right.

Keeping your eyes trained on Elias, you watch as Rorke circles him as a shark did its pray. Both Hesh and Logan are calling you for you, the rattle of their chair thumping causing your ears to ring. Licking your dry lips, you tense when Rorke turns back to you, pointing the pistol in his hand directly at your head.

‘You got fire in you, kid,’ he breathlessly confesses, ‘I like that… risking your life to protect your Captain,’ he chuckles, leaning into Elias, pressing his finger against his chest. ‘You could learn something from her, Elias.’

‘She’s my daughter,’ he croaks. 

‘Yeah,’ Rorke nods, glancing at you, ‘and she’s gonna get to watch you die. Her and your boys.'

Shot after shot is fired, every bang against you to witness as you grab your stomach, pressing down against the wound to keep yourself from losing more blood than necessary. You’re far too dazed to get up and fight against the man who saw the very life of your Captain as some sort of joke. So, you watch, helpless, as Rorke empties a clip into Elias.

‘No! No! Dad!’ Hesh cries. His face is red as he frashes against the ties keeping him from his father, the very sight making your headache. His tone is piercing as he carelessly spits out curses at the man before him. ‘I’ll kill you, you hear me?’ he screams, ‘I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Motherfucker!’ 

The worlds a little blurry. 

Your eyelids grow heavy, and when you force the open upon hearing a thud right in front of you, you’re surprised to see Elias’ face meters away from yours. You fight against the urge to drift off. You’re not going to die, you’re getting out of this and you’re seeing Keegan again- you can't die.

‘You did well,’ Elias breathes, looking at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight of blood seeping onto the ground, ‘I’m proud of you, you and my boys,’ he utters, wheezing for a single breath of air. His lips are blue as he stares at you, your eyes welling with tears as you're forced to watch as the man struggles for his last breaths.

Rorke’s boot is planted firmly on top of his head, and you catch your Captain glancing up at the man.

For the very first time, you see fear in his eyes. It's a dastardly look, mixing with the loss of blood in an unappealing manner as his face grows sickeningly pale. Something tells you that Elias Walker is scared of dying.

No Ghost is to be scared of death, that's not who we are.

But, we're scared of losing each other.

Elias Walker is scared of losing his family, of leaving them behind.

Rorke sighs, pushing his boot further down, leaning down to press the muzzle of the pistol against his forehead.

Keegan, please.

‘Oh… you are right, Elias,’ breathes the man, ‘I’m not a Ghost,’ he grins. There's a pause in his words, and you find yourself searching for some form of sickly hope that just in the nick of time, there will be a bullet in Rorke's head rather than Elias'.

Rorke remains tall and as he licks his thin lips and eyes Elias, you find a dismal pit in your stomach that you know you're never going to recover from.

‘I’m the man that hunts them, and sends them back to the other side.’ 

With that, he pulls the trigger. 

You scrunch your eyes shut as you hear the rattle of the man's chest, a wet pray covering your face. Your lips form into a thin line as you choke out a broken sob, and when you bring your lips together again, the metallic taste of your Captains blood. Behind you, you can hear both Logan and Hesh sobbing, the anger the pair of the showed silently dissipated into grief.

The rustle of fabric in front of you unnerves you, and you attempt to turn away from Elias' corpse, letting out a startled breath when a shadow looms over you and you're grabbed.

'Leave her alone,' begs Logan, 'you got what you wanted. Leave her be... please.'

Rorke holds you in his arms like a child would a doll, and to your surprise, he guides you back into the chair you had jumped out from, forcing you back into it.

Standing back from the three of you, he rubs his mouth with his hand, his lips curling into a small grin as he hums to himself. 'Some talent is between you kids,' he says, 'real shame you're fighting the wrong side of this war, really, it is.'

—

Much to your pleasure, you find Merrick alive.

Despite your doubts prior, you knew well the man was capable of surviving. After the execution of Elias, Rorke left you with his soldiers and you, Hesh, Logan and Merrick were all forced onto your knees, kneeling on the balcony where the attack had first initially ensued. You’re unsure as to how much time had passed, but you were sure the wound was not getting any better as every time you shifted, you fell light headed. 

The soldiers that had been observing you receive something on the radio, although, your entire body is hot and your ears are ringing, the memory of Elias’ face stuck in your head as you were forced to witness his death close and personal. You’re quite sure there is residue on of the crime on your face, so, you keep your head bowed, out of the way of both Logan and Hesh who look completely broken. 

‘You alright?’ Logan whispers.

You’re shaking, but you nod your head. 

‘Just Peachy, L, don’t worry about it,’ you utter, keeping your head down. 

A shadow is cast over you and you catch sight of the boots of three soldiers.

‘The boss wants the girl alive,’ says one of them, causing you to snap your head upwards, looking at the three of them.

The one in the middle is pointing at you, marking you out of the crowd while the other two simply observe. 

You feel dirty. 

The man beside him nods his head, grabbing his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Hesh, while the other one approaches Logan, repeating the process.

It’s terribly calculated, killing both of the brothers, clearing the world of Elias once and for all at the same time. You keep your eyes trained on Hesh, eyes occasionally drifting to the window as you sit and wait. Planting the pistol firmly against Hesh’s head, you hear Logan grunt beside you. Hesh moves to the side, his forearms tensing, preparing for the shot. At the very last, they’re showing them mercy. They could have slit their throats, left them to drown in their own blood, yet, they’re making it easy.

One shot to the head. 

Then you see him. 

A small flicker of light in the distance. 

The light at the end of the tunnel.

The glass shatters, the man holding the gun to Hesh’s head stumbling down onto his knees, his hand firmly planted against his chest. It all happens so fast, the man beside him stands dazed, looking at his colleague. Another shot is fired, going right through the mans skull. A spray of brain, blood and skull covers you as the man fulls forward.

‘HESH, LOGAN! NOW!’ Merrick demands, the pair of them jumping to their feet. 

Logan shoves the guard to the ground, pulling him away from you while Hesh and Merrick rush two of two of the soldiers by the balcony. The awestruck soldier is left to you and you watch as he rushes forward, pulling the gun from the corpse of the dead soldier. Fortunately, Hesh manages to grab the rifle from off of the solider standing on the balcony, elbowing him in the stomach. Rushing up to you, he hits the back of the mans guns with the butt of the rifle, causing the man to fall to his knees. You watch with wide eyes as the solider attempts to rush up to him while Hesh fights with the other one. 

Another shot is fired. 

The soldier behind Hesh falls to the ground. 

‘I got you! Go!’ Merrick yells as more shots are fired.

The rest of the soldiers standing behind are dropped. To the right of you, you hear a gunshot as you stand up, watching Logan push himself up from off of the ground, the blood of a Federation soldier soaking into his t-shirt as he steps over the corpse. Grabbing the pistol discarded on the ground, Logan quickly fires a shot through the head of the solider Hesh is fighting with. A bullet whizzes past you, and without a second thought, you snap around, firing two shots directly into a soldier to the right of you. There are more shots from the right of you, and when the final body drops, you exhale. 

‘You okay, Merrick?’ Logan asks as Merrick unties the ropes around his wrists. ‘Rib’s broken, but I can move,’ he reassures, rushing up to Hesh. 

Logan pulls himself free, immediately approaching you, ripping off the edge of his t-shirt. You watched with a furrowed brow as he eyes you. 

‘Need to keep you from bleeding all over the place,’ he states, ‘c’mere,’ he instructs. You step forwards and he hands you the scrap from his t-shirt. Pressing it against the wound, you groan as he wraps the rope around you waist, trying it tightly around your waist. ‘Keegan’ll kill us if you lose a drop more blood… lost enough today too,’ he says, tying it tightly. ‘You still good to fight?’ 

‘Always,’ you say.

Holding his hand out, the pair of you bump fists and for the first time since this morning, you feel the dread swirling in your blood slowly coming to a stop. 

‘We got to get going,’ Merrick sharply states, marching ahead of the free of you. Hesh follows after him. ‘Keegan, we’re up and moving, get here as soon as you can,’ he instructs.

You look at his back in surprise, your own hand falling to your ear piece realising thatchy hadn’t taken them off of you.

‘Check… I’ll meet you in the kitchen,’ confirms the voice you have missed so terribly.

You clear your throat, wincing as you proceed forward, following after Merrick. Part of you wants him to say something to you, to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but you understand that doing such would absolutely be irresponsible, so, you busy yourself listening to Merrick. 

‘We need to make it to the west side of the building,’ he states, ‘it’s the best chance of getting out of here.’ You nod silently, taking a moment to take a breath. Everything was going to be fine, and in the end of this, you were going to have Rorke’s head in your hands. ‘You still good to fight, Eclipse?’ 

‘Always,’ you give a short nod, ‘bleedings calmed,’ you confirm, despite the burning causing you legs to wobble slightly. In due time it will be over, all of this ill be a distant memory. Just push on a little longer, that’s all you have to do. 

‘Shh.. noise behind the door,’ Hesh warns as he approaches it, ‘lets make this quick.’

—

As you push through the room, you exhale when a voice calls, 'I'm almost there,' Keegan confirms as your brow furrows, a particularly step sending a shot of pain through your stomach up your back.

You clamp your mouth shut as you whimper, your dry mouth longing for a drop of water. Eventually, this will be over, you just had to stick to it. He's almost here, you just have to keep pushing on. That's the only thing you can do.

Just keep fighting.

'You better find a place to hide, though, lotta guys headed right to you,' he warns.

You want to complain upon hearing such, why can it never just be easy? Everything has to be difficult, no matter what you're doing, you can never just catch a break.

‘Key,’ you exhale seeing the man standing before you.

His hardened haze softens upon catching sight of you, and you waste no time rushing up to him, throwing your arms around him. While unprofessional, you feel no shame in confessing that you were going to die without him, and if anything, you were deserving of this moment. The hug you share is brief as he grabs your forearms checking you over.

He stops when he sees your stomach. 

Merrick curses and falls to the ground, ‘shit,’ he hisses, attempting to push himself up off of the ground. As you look back to Keegan, the pair of you turn your attention towards the doors behind you, hearing voices edging closer and closer.

Grabbing you, he looks to Hesh and Logan, ‘get him up,’ he demands, gently guiding you into the room behind you. ‘We gotta hide, not gonna be able to take them,’ he states, pulling you to the side. ‘What the fuck happened?’ he whispers as Logan and Hesh quickly help Merrick inside the room.

You feel his hand against your stomach, wincing as he looks at you. The pressure on your stomach falters as he pulls his hand away, observing a wet patch in his gloves.  

‘Got shot talking back to Rorke,’ you confess, and while you’re sure it’s something you certainly should not be proud of, you speak with a glowing tone as you look at him. Besides, he trained you all those years ago, why should you be ashamed?

'Logan thought fast, used the rope he tied us up with to try and stop the bleeding,’ you mumble. His gaze hardens as he looks at you, and you swear you can see his Adams apple bobbing beneath his mask. Gently he pushes you behind him, helping you to the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he reaches his hand behind him, squeezing your knee. 

It’s so quiet, yet you feel as though your heart is going to burst. 

You place your bloody, shaking hand over his and offer him a wavering smile. He takes it in for a moment before snapping back into action. His hand is pulled from your knee and you’re left alone. 

'Turn that radio down,' Merrick hisses as Hesh helps him down

He hums as the doors burst open. Pushing you behind him, you all sit and watch as shadows pass you by.

And then the world begins to still. You're unable to describe just what it is you're feeling, although, despite the weight and severity of everything happening around you, you feel light as a feather. Your clothes are soaked at this point and in spite of your efforts, you find your breathing slowing as you lean against the wall.

Clumsily, you reach your had out to latch onto the floor as you feel an overwhelming drowsiness hit you. You've put in all the work and effort you can muster, yet, you've tried from it and as you wade through the mush of panicked voices and the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears, you succumb to your body's desperation and fully close your eyes, wading into the quiet of the stream.

[weltato]

The Ramble About Klavier (AA4 spoilers)

Going off this post I made a while ago, here's a ramble about everyone's favourite rockstar prosecutor :)

This is gonna be a long post, so I'mma put it under a cut, but the TL;DR is that Klavier's damage sprite hurts me physically and I absolutely think that Kristoph is the cause of it :)) Also, using Franziska as a bit of a comparison at points because I could go on about her as well honestly, but that's for a different post.

(obligatory headcanon disclaimer here)

*Warning for mentions of verbal abuse, if that's uncomfortable then please scroll on and stay safe!*

UPDATE: I wrote a fic! Read it here!

You still here? Grand.

This sprite hurts man.

(I couldn't find a gif file for young Klav, had to use the icky webp file from the wiki- I fucking hate webp it's such a stupid file type)

You see how it's the same? You see how both sprites are the same? They move exactly the same! Now, you could say that it's something related to the chord that plays every time we see the sprite crop up, but he's gonna be smart enough to know about ear protection when doing rockstar stuff. Could be a sensitive ears thing, or a cringe thing at the sound of the chord (bc it does sound bad, I'll grant that), but it's never said if Klavier has sensitive hearing or smth (afaik, bc I haven't seen SoJ yet). We know Athena does, but nothing about Klav.

So! Remember Kristoph? Remember how shitty of a person he is? Welp, in the same vein as Franziska's damage sprite making everyone go "ooh, MvK did bad things" I put forward that Kristoph also did bad things.

But not physically. Kristoph is a man who uses his words as his weapons until he just casually has to poison people and then stalk everyone for seven years bc a fangirl screwed up his plan.

The sprite when Klav's 17 is labelled as "Disbelief (Unused).

Sure, it's unused in-game, but they still made it and they made it exactly the same as present Klav!

But when he's older, it's simply listed as "Damage".

Damage is a word used for quite a few sprites tbh, since it's when they...well, take damage, from their opponent, either through scripted event or from player decision.

However! Going back to a point I made in the original post: Franziska has a different distinction. Her older sprite is listed as "Shocked" but her younger sprite is given the "Damage" title.

Look! Her sprites are different! It doesn't give any good vibes tbh, she's sort of holding herself higher up and more with both arms than with the one arm her younger self uses, but that's for a different ramble about Franzy. This is about Klavier.

Franzy goes from "Damage" to "Shocked", potentially meaning that whatever is being thrown at her doesn't hurt anymore, merely catches her off guard and this is a reflexive response.

Klav goes from "Disbelief" to "Damage", which tells me that his younger self refused to hear and his older self is now realising that things are SO much worse than he feared and that HURTS.

With Franziska, it's pretty obvious that MvK was a pretty distant parent in parenting terms. I mean, he was always there, sure, but he didn't really show much love and affection. Franzy realises this and carries on because that's how she was brought up. She can handle that. (Don't get me started on the cry sprite omg-)

Kristoph was the same.

All my homies hate MvK and those same homies should also hate Kristoph. His nickname was literally "The Coolest Defense in the West" - this man was known for being level-headed! He was known for being a cool, calm and collected person! You never know what's going on under that.

Klavier was absolutely verbally and emotionally abused. I don't think it was physical abuse in any way, and if anything happened then at most it might've been a slap in the face, but Kristoph doesn't strike me as someone who gets off on holding power over his brother by beating him. After all, Klav is in the public eye 90% of the time as a rockstar, he doesn't want to risk make-up being applied wrong and the paparazzi picking things up. Kristoph strives for perfection in everything (again, the wiki literally says this, although I'm aware that the wiki can be edited by anyone) and he sees it in his brother too: he wants Klavier to be perfect.

But then he went to be a prosecutor and a rockstar and that's...well that's not good, it might ruin the name he's made for himself if his little brother goes off gallivanting with people like that (poor Daryan). Kristoph sets impossibly high standards that Klavier just can't match because he's not the same as his brother, he's not like that, he cares about people and his decision to go study in Europe is met with more disapproval from Kristoph, but Klavier takes it all as brotherly encouragement because the boy is SEVENTEEN and there's an eight year age gap, surely Kristoph knows best...

Then we get to the final section of Turnabout Succession.

When presenting the nail polish, Klavier recognises it immediately because that's the brand his brother uses. When Apollo asks about his hesitation, he says it's nothing.

They never checked Vera's nails either and Klavier is unable to say anything because Apollo is on a roll and Klavier really hopes he's wrong, so he asks if the bottle belongs to Vera and Apollo asks back if he knows someone else with one of those...

"No." he says, "Just checking."

YES. HE. DOES! He knows immediately as soon as that nail polish is brought up, everything clicks and he's so distressed by it that he refuses to believe Kristoph could've done this. He's in prison right now, how could he poison someone??

And when the Judge isn't convinced by this, Apollo deals him the final blow.

"Prosecutor Gavin doesn't seem to think this is inconceivable."

No response. His face is unreadable, or maybe it's anguished, and when it's suggested to bring Kristoph up as a special witness, Klav says this: "I've known for some time that an impenetrable darkness lurked at the bottom of this. ...A darkness that has swallowed even myself."

He knows and it's time to face The Devil that orchestrated all of this.

Maybe he's known for a long time and only just removed the rose-tinted glasses he was seeing Kristoph through - and he's crushed by it.

When Kristoph is in the room, Klavier's words are especially defeated here. Kristoph even asks Klavier to explain what's going on.

"You're being accused again. By him. Again."

And when Kristoph asks if Klav agrees with this, he says nothing. What can he say? That yes, his brother is a dark man? That yes, he's manipulative enough to do this kind of thing? That, if given the chance, he do it again to get rid of everyone who's in his way?

Trucy even says in one of the pressed statements that Klavier "must be nervous with big brother watching!"

Kristoph even takes over from Klavier's Objection when Kristoph's pressed by Apollo about the likelihood of Vera wanting to poison herself. That bitch! He's so obsessed with control that he takes control over his own trial from his own brother who's trying to 'defend' him. When Trucy says the two together is a force to be reckoned with, Apollo notes that they could do with more teamwork.

In that pivotal last statement, Klavier acts more like his brother than he ever has in the whole game and Apollo picks up on that. Kristoph is the reason Klavier is acting different, the reason he's trying so hard to get Apollo to notice the difference - Kristoph is clearly the threat in the room.

Kristoph is cruel in public too, but only now that Apollo is cornering him. See, the abuse towards Klavier was only ever subtle in public and far more pronounced in the home, but in this trial there's nowhere for him to go and Apollo would pick up every detail. So, when Apollo brings up the stamp and Klav's taken aback by this, Kristoph takes that moment to pounce: "You've upset my poor brother to the point of uselessness. Allow me to clarify this matter[...]"

We all hate him, right? He's such a dick.

Klavier is quiet, just watching everything unfold since he has no way to confront Apollo when he himself believes that Kristoph is guilty, and when Kristoph worms his way out of things he belittles Klav: "Really, Klavier. You should be seeing through these weak-spined bluffs by now."

What can he say? It's the same kind of thing he was always told - that he should be better, always pushed further than he could go.

But then he doubles down. He's sick of this, sick of Kristoph always being the perfect brother. So he fights back and calls Kristoph the bluffer. Kristoph is shocked; never once has Klavier outright pushed back on him. So when Klavier starts to side with Apollo, Kristoph plays the game.

Now, I'm not going through the whole case beat for beat, but there's another point later on when Apollo goes "oh btw Phoenix didn't do this and lol here's evidence" and Kristoph tries to deny this by saying "oh but defense attorneys are only assigned the day before anyway" but Klavier objects and turns to Apollo, pleading with him because he needs to know the whole truth on this.

Even Kristoph is caught off guard because he thought he'd kept Klavier on his side but NO! NO HE DIDN'T! HAVE YOU SEEN HIS DAMAGE SPRITE HE'S HURTINNGGGG T^T

ahem-

Anyway, Kristoph tried to dismiss this and Klavier objects in his face and keeps his focus solely on Apollo - he even calls him by his actual name instead of Herr Forehead (which I think is kinda sweet actually but anyway-) and fuck man, this hurts me.

And as it closes in towards the end, when Phoenix's recording is mentioned and Kristoph says that his "brother is incapable of making rational judgments at the moment" (angy Wel grumbling) we soon get this:

I LOVE KLAV HAVE I SAID THIS YET!?

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:

KRISTOPH IS WORRIEDDDDD

AND KLAV DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE YES!

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW GOOD THAT FEELS? HOW CATHARTIC THAT IS? THIS MAN WHO'S DONE NOTHING BUT CONTROL HIM AND USE HIM FOR HIS OWN BENEFIT AND BELITTLE HIM WHENEVER HE DOES ANYTHING EVEN OUT OF LINE IS FINALLY GETTING HIS COMEUPPANCE AT KLAVIER'S HANDS!!

OH it's great to watch, we love to see it.

Better still is the very end, after the breakdown, after Kristoph loses his cool:

The sass is strong in this line. To me, it's a final 'fuck you and everything you ever did to me' from Klavier.

We end on this line after the Judge says that nurturing is the task for all human beings: "Except for you, Kristoph. You aren't changing. You've stopped. You're not needed anymore."

And it's true. Klavier doesn't need Kristoph anymore. He's 24, he can live his own life and he doesn't need a cynical and condescending brother like Kristoph breathing down his neck every two seconds. He's broken free from Kristoph's control completely and he's relishing that.

So this is why his damage sprite hurts me to see. It's a point of pain and discontent, it's Kristoph lingering in Klav's head, it's the want to have a normal brother that loves him as he is and sees him as an equal. He got his first trial against him taken away, and we never know if there was another opportunity for the two Gavins to go up against each other again, but by the sounds of it there probably wasn't - and that's a good thing! If Kristoph had faced off against Klavier, it would have probably broken Klav's spirit to be a good prosecutor like we see in AA4 and to some extent in AA5 when he crops up in the Themis case.

On the whole, the damage sprite is a look into how Klavier hid from his brother's verbal abuse - by covering his ears and not listening to it. He didn't want it to be true, but it came at him anyway and he hated that. But it's also a parallel to how he feels about Kristoph: that is his brother and he can't bear the thought of Kristoph being not just a murderer, but also a scheming manipulator that's been skirting around the law he so desperately hides behind for seven years. Once again, he didn't want it to be true but it came at him anyway and he hated that he couldn't get away from it.

It's a good sprite, I won't lie. Great storytelling at the conflict between the two and that Klavier loves Kristoph probably more than Kristoph love him, but it still hurts me to see it because all I can think about is what kind of manipulation has Kristoph done to keep his power over Klavier. Kristoph is manipulative even to his own brother and there is nothing Klavier could have done about it. Throughout their interactions in the case there's this underlying current of "if I get out of this you're so dead" and that feels like it's been a thing forever between them.

I hope this makes sense because I should be writing my assignment rn and I just couldn't bc this has been taking up all the space in my head lol. I'm tirrrrrred, uni wears me out man >.>

[fairvstairs]

HOTD SPOILERS!!!

I often think about the adult foxes life, especially the mundane things they do. Does Nicky watch Heartbreak High? Does Allison love Renee Rapp (and Renee Walker)? Does Kevin read sports romance?

I think about Aaron and Andrew, bonding over Game of Thrones (if you could call arguing about the characters that) and waiting every week for a new episode of House of the Dragon. I think about Neil shit talking the show (he thinks the directors are obsessed with r*pe scenes and can you really blame him?) only for him to stop in his tracks when Andrew is watching it in their living room because damn, they are riding freaking dragons.

("They look alike" "They're uncle and niece" "Oh, they are holding hands so I thought they were a couple" "They are." "What the fuck are you watching!?") (someone please get the reference)

I think about Aaron watching the season 1 finale, feeling sad because of Lucerys but also because he knows he's gonna hardly hear from his brother until season 2 drops. I think about him watching Helaena choose between her twins and knowing that his mother would have saved him. Him watching two twins at the opposite sides of a war fight each other, one killing the other and then himself. Aaron looking at his phone for hours because this time, Andrew didn't text him.

"Andrew would do it," he thinks "he would kill me if I wanted to hurt Neil but then he would punish himself."

And Aaron doesn't like Neil, he is annoying, he brings trouble everywhere he goes and he has a smart mouth. He doesn't like him, period. But he would never try to hurt him. Not when this is the happiest he has seen his brother. Not when he is the reason there was supposed to be a text waiting for him.

"What happened?"

Suddenly Andrew's voice is talking in his ear.

"What?"

"You don't like talking on the phone and yet you called me so, what happened?"

"I called you?"

A beat.

"Are you drunk? Where is Katelyn?"

"What!? No, no I'm not drunk. She is at work- why didn't you text me?"

The words come out before he even has a chance to think.

"The new episode came out, you always text me and now you didn't, why?"

"We are on our way to the airport, we had an away game. I haven't watched it yet. I'll text you when I do."

"Oh, alright then."

And Andrew is a bit confused by this interaction until he actually watches the episode. The dragons are cool, the actors amazing and he recognizes amazing fashion choices when he sees them, but truth is he doesn't really like how the show handles some topics. He is never gonna say it out loud though. He is Andrew, he does what he wants. He's watching the show because he wants to, no one is making him do it.

But, of course, Neil notices. He sees how the blonde doesn't look directly at an assault scene, how he mutes the TV during the little boy's murder because the noises are too real, how he shakes his head at Helaena's (if that's her name) reaction, how he reaches out his hand for Neil to hold, how he spends the rest of the day in silence. Most importantly he notices how, at the end of the day, when they are in bed, in each other's arms, Andrew takes a deep breath and picks up his phone to text his brother. Aaron immediately responds.

This is my first time posting something and English is not my first language so please be kind. I saw the new HOTD episode and I couldn't help but think about the Minyard twins, I had to get this idea out of my head. I think the show would be a little triggering for Andrew but that he would overall enjoy it, I don't think he would pass up an opportunity to "bond" with Aaron but I also don't think he would do anything he doesn't want to do. Anyway, these characters don't belong to me so these are not their canon personalities!

[lynx-doodles-indie-games]

minor and moderate worldless spoilers ahead! i really like this game so please play it so you can have the full context of my stupidity

this upload's gonna be a bit different, since i wanna talk about a Very Very Stupid Thing i did when i played worldless last month, and hopefully some of yall can enjoy me being the butt of the joke idk. minor spoilers are ahead, but i'll put the moderate spoilers under the cut below.

also because there isn't a better place to put this, the colors i used throughout these doodles are from sweetavery's zenith, it's an impeccable fit for this game!

so, picked up worldless last month and yet another game pestered me about playing on a controller as opposed to keyboard. "how dare!" i shouted at my computer, "for i have bested the pantheon of hallownest in hollow knight and make for a fine accomplice in rain world's jolly co-op with just a keyboard! i don't need a controller!"

well, to absolutely no one's surprise, the default keyboard layout SUCKS. but that's nothing a little rebinding can't fix. i messed around in the menus, experimented with what made the game feel mildly more comfortable to play, which worked for about twenty minutes.

so i haven't talked much about the story, yeah? well that's because this wrestling with the controls took up so much of my attention that i could barely clock in what was happening! so that when the above happened, well… you can see how well that went out.

i actually put the game down out of frustration because i was really excited for it and yet the controls were so obstinate. this was my first impression, and it… was not a great one, you can tell.

about a week later i was bored out of my mind and picked up the game again. i'd wondered if i should've started a new save or picked up where i left off. i wish i had done the former. because…

yeah, i'd gone off the intended path and ignored the objective because i'd literally forgotten what the game had told me it wanted me to do.

that's as much i'm willing to divulge to the people who want to play the game with as few spoilers as possible. moderate spoilers below.

rest assured, i'm getting a pair of controllers later this month. the transition is gonna be… rocky. i'd been meaning to get some for being able to play horizon zero dawn and hyper light drifter and other games of that caliber, but this experience with worldless urged that along faster. (i am not looking forward to relearning how to play hollow knight and rain world on a controller)

---

back to the game:

so yeah, even at this point, i had not connected the dots that the guy who beat me up was the same guy i was chasing across the map was the same guy i saw in that apparition was the same guy currently crouched in front of me. i get "early-game amnesia" every so often (ask me sometime about my experience with shovel knight this summer), but worldless has been the worst example of it happening to me, not helped by the awful controls distracting me in the opening, not playing it for a long enough time for my memory of the first twenty minutes to erode, and then returning to my old save file instead of starting up a new one.

i somehow blearghed my way into resolving the conflict peacefully, since i'd known the battles are a bit like puzzles and this one had given me the capability of using wisp's cry. so i did, thinking it was simply the resolution for the battle.

and this. this took me off-guard. but, obviously, not in the way the devs had expected. i didn't know who this guy was so suddenly playing as him was rather confusing.

which is a shame, really. i wish i'd restarted the game instead of picked up from my current save. i wish i could erase my memories of the game and replay it afresh (but with more optimal controls). i wish i'd gotten a controller before playing worldless.

but what's done is done. i wrestled the controls into something somewhat manageable. in the span of less than two weeks of active play, i'd beaten the game, found the secret boss, ascended the path of determination, and overcome the ultimate trial all on a keyboard.

dw tho, i eventually bonded with my beloved deuteragonist (dubbed him "coal" in contrast with the original deuteragonist "wisp"). i've drawn a ton of them in the past couple of weeks and i'm hoping to share em soon. gotta get the word about this game out somehow :D

idk how to end this lol

[thelazyhermits]

The poll results are in! The majority of the voters chose the "post before next Halloween; do as you please with the plot" option, so it looks like that's what I'll be doing. Thank you to everyone who took the time to vote! ^^

For the record, this fic won't be coming anytime soon since I can't start writing it until the event ends, and it's doubtful that I can get it all written by the time I finish posting my GloMas fic, so after that fic ends in Dec, I'll start posting a different event fic, which will be the longest one to date and will last until late March.

Also, depending on when the Tsum Part 3 event reaches the ENG server and if I'll have that fic written by the end of March, I might create a poll where y'all can choose between that fic and the newest Halloween fic regarding which fic I'll start posting at the end of March since I know how popular the tsums are, so it's possible the Halloween fic won't get posted until like May/June if the tsum fic beats it in the poll.

I have more I wanna say about the "do as you please with the plot" part of the winning poll option, and I'll put it underneath the cut since it'll contain Halloween event spoilers.

Okay, so first off, I wanna say that I don't wanna just completely go off the rails with the fic's plot. I would like to include as much canon content as I can if possible.

The thing is, I'm not a huge fan of how a lot of things have been handled in the event, such as the lack of thrills and chills in the NRC guys' idea for how to celebrate Halloween, which really just sounded like a child's birthday party imo cause of the lack of a horror element and the large amount of catering toward children, even though there aren't even that many kids in Halloween Town lol

Like, seriously, those guys had no leg to stand on when they were calling Skully's ideas boring cause I thought their overall idea was pretty boring too, and I'm really surprised none of the Halloween Town residents said as much, especially the kids who are way more interested in scaring people than eating sweets and singing lol 😂

So, in addition to having Yuu have a closer relationship to Skully cause of how my Yuu is, which I think would affect how Skully acts in the event, I would definitely do more with the Halloween plans cause, no matter how much my Yuu hates horror and the like, even she can't stand by and allow such a lackluster Halloween to happen in Halloween Town of all places since she has a lot of love for the NBC crew.

I really wanna spice up this event by throwing in more danger/suspense since this is Halloween Town - a town where things are supposed to get scary, and up until Skully finally snapped, the only action that happened was the NRC boys butting heads and that's a normal Tuesday at NRC so that gets old quick lol

I also want more Oogie Boogie, who has yet to show up in the event, although it's entirely possible he will in the next update. While I want Skully to get lots of attention, being the new guy and all, I don't want Oogie Boogie to lose the spotlight as a result cause an NBC event that takes place in a game focused on Disney villains wouldn't be complete without the Boogeyman, you know?

That's why it'll probably take me a little while to write this fic cause I'm gonna be creating a lot of original content, and I haven't completely decided yet what all I wanna do with the plot, although I'm hoping I'll get a clearer idea once the event is complete.

Anyway, thank you again for voting! I really hope y'all will like my version of this event! ^-^

[xrd]

yknow what let's just go with everything. Go crazy go stupid. Have funsies <33

Getting a little silly?

Under the cut major spoilers for P4/P5/P5T

🎭 favorite Phantom Thief?

I used to flip flop round alot more but I think strikers (haven't finished it yet) has probably confirmed it's Makoto for me. I'm kind of sad I know she ends up sticking to her plan to become a cop because I think the way Zenkichi challenges her on it is really interesting.

Also he's not a Phantom Thief technically but shout out to Toshiro Kasukabe my goat!!!!

👓 favorite Investigation Team member?

Kanji by a landslide but we'll get to him soon enough.

Other then that I really like Yukiko. She's consistently very funny and charming to me and I like how her character flaw of passivity influences parts of her character outside of her home life. Really memorable part of my Golden playthrough was her beating me at the Trivia game several times

🔫 favorite S.E.E.S member?

Probably Yukari. I just think her character progression is really well handled, and I like seeing her grow out of her shell and grow closer with the group. I also think her dynamic with Mitsuru is really interesting, and I love the way it progresses. She was really good in The Answer too.

🎁 favorite character?

Kanji is among, if not my favourite character of all time and I find answering why I like him very difficult because of this. He's a surprisingly multifaceted character who has really unique inner struggles. I agree that the writers often go too far with alot of jokes surrounding him but I feel like there's still an earnestness to his portrayal as a teenager struggling with his newly questioned sexuality, as well as trying to find approval among his parents and peers. I like him he means alot to me.

🔗 favorite social link?

I really struggle with narrowing this down. Here's a few favourites from each game.

P3: Aigis, P3P Junpei, Akinari, Tanaka

P4: Teddie, Kanji, Nanako, Dojima, Naoto (platonic), Marie

P5: Takemi, Hifumi, Yoshida

🎶 favorite Persona song?

Extremely hard question to answer, but hearing Heartful Cry for the first time in the Answer was extremely memorable, so I want to say that. I also really like Naoto's dungeon theme

😈 best antagonist?

Adachi is like one of my favourite villians ever I think he's a genius foil to a protagonist of a game like this considering that a large part of how her functions as a villain is how mundane he is. I'll get around to actually making a dedicated post about my thoughts on him eventually.

⚔️ best boss fight?

Definitely the shadow Toshiro confrontation/cognitive Eri fight. Incredibly memorable moment in terms of story and I love how the addition of Toshiro as a party member changes up the gameplay from then on.

😶‍🌫️ favorite dungeon

I really really like Shido's palace I think the ship theming is really evocative and I think the outside is just visually very stunning, especially in game where it looks like it's atop an ocean of blood.

👾 have you played persona 1 or 2?

Played a fair bit of the sebec route but I have not finished it. I'll get back to it eventually. People drastically play up P1's flaws and it makes me sad that it seems to diswade so many people. If you meet it where it's at and make sure to buy items to lower the encounter rate it's a fun enough time if you like first person dungeon crawling.

I've played a little of IS ages ago but I lost my save file a few dungons in and never picked it back up. I'll get to it when I finish P1

❤️ favorite ship(s)?

Teddie/Labrys sweeps everything else for me they're incredibly sweet and charming. Labrys feels like the first person Teddie's ever taken an earnest interest in romantically which is a really fun change of pace for his character. (And it's metal surprisingly?!) I really like the similarities in their struggles. Teddie's arena story mode is sooooo good everyone please read it.

💛 favorite dynamic(s)?

I've been thinking about Akihiko and Mitsuru alot. I think they're really interesting because they have an incredible amount of trust in each other and I feel alot of their relationship is formed from the fact that they were defending each-others lives before they were even really friends.

🔥 character you would bully for eternity?

We all need to make fun of Adachi for being incredibly jealous of that 17 year old and also for saying this

👀 character that you hated but now love?

Keep bringing him up, but I used to really dislike Teddie during my initial play through of the game but I ended up doing almost a complete 180 of his character and now he's probably one of my favourites.

🤓 any spinoffs/remakes you want to see?

I really really want them to make a persona 5 arena in the same vein as the persona 4 one with returning 3/4 characters.

I think a P1 remake would also be welcome but I don't want them to try and make it like

🥺 a character you will defend at all costs?

I was talking about this the other day but the was people talk about Marie sometimes is absurd. I'm not huge on some of the implementation of her storyline, mainly that it gives away the stuff with Izanami but I like what she adds thematically a lot. People really over-exaggerate any faults in her plotline as well as writing her off because she's rude to the main character.

🤩 how did you get into persona?

A friend lent me Persona 5 on the PS3 and my and my brother ended up playing it. He liked it so much he bought all the avaliable persona games on the ps3 and I ended up just continuing as I finished 5. I ended up emulated p3p instead of playing fes on the ps3 though because I really wanted to play as the girl.

🥳 do you have any blogs/artists/writers/creators in the fandom you love? Drop recs.

Off the top of my head here some oomfs and other creators I like on here. (Sorry for the pings) @mustdie @parasitoidism @mangocandies @nyanfish @owainigo @akolnoix @retrokinetics @hoshizoralone @fizzily @evilresidentz Probably missing some obvious inclusions. Sorry

🤔 favorite headcanon(s)?

Yosuke making really bad music is like integral to my perception of him now.

[dishooman07]

⭐ Intro time !!! ⭐

Img below is by me, of me btw lol

Hiya! My name is Juno!!! I'm 17, my pronouns are they/them and I'm a nonbinary lesbian (also somewhere on the ace spec but it's confusing). I am also a furry with ADHD lol. I'm kinda just here to vibe, possibly rant about my interests, post some doodles, I'll happily talk about my oc's, basically whatever, but I loveeeee talking to people so please don't hesitate to ask me things at all, especially if it's related to one of my interests below!

===========================

⭐ Interests/hobbies⭐

Genshin impact

magnus archives/protocol (completely caught up)

Honkai star rail

Five nights at Freddy's

Stardew valley

Outer wilds (I haven't beat it yet please no spoilers)

Minecraft

Basically anything horror related

Fiction/mysteries for books

Anythinggg regarding space

Animals in general but mostly bugs. I'm especially into moths atm

Basically anything music related. I play percussion and the ukulele , and Ive written several songs I'll post some of my fav bands below

I really like trains and boats, couldn't tell you why but I'll tell ya about them if you want!

Dinosaurs! My fav dinosaur is dinonychus antirrophus, and I especially love draumasaurids

⭐ music I like ⭐

Cavetown, I am ridiculously addicted

Chappel roan

Reinery

Basically most video game music

Bo burnam

Lemon demon

Musicals!

Vocaloid/Hatsune Miku

Girl in red

Honestly there's prolly way more I can't remember I listen to such a wide variety of music man

⭐ ships I like ⭐

Feel free to talk to me about basically any ship as long as it's legal and stuff ! I might occasionally post doodles or drawing of ships I like, if you send an art request there's a chance I'll do it depending on motivation and stuff too!!!

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES /protocol

I LOVEE WHAT THE GIRLFRIENDS SO MUCH THEYRE MY FAVORITESS

Jonmartin is very silly too

Doorkaey confuses me but i think i like it ?

Dyhard. Top tier. I think they could really use a good kiss fr fr

Have a good day, pls comment/reblog/like if u wanna be moots!

[drizzileiscool]

BIG GIANT POST ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE PLAYING TWEWY!!!!!!

CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!

NO I HAVE NOT PLAYED NEO YET!!!! I AM POOR!!!!! PLEASE DON'T SPOIL ME ON IT!!!!!! I've played some of the demo though!!!!!

I first decided to get into twewy last month. I saw that there was a switch version available, but I was unable to play that version. I did, however, have a ds emulator, but after talking to some people I realized I probably would've gotten arthritis playing it on emulator.

When I was just about ready to give up, I decided to watch the first episode of the anime. I enjoyed it a bit.

I was then told to not watch the anime.

So you may be wondering.. "How did you play twewy?"

I played the mobile version. Solo mix. Yeah that one. The one not available for current gen phones.

I found a link to a modded version on an old reddit thread that was updated for current gen android phones, and one of my friends helped me get it set up, and I was finally ready to play.

During my first few hours, I didn't actually like neku all that much. Honestly, he was a dick. i remember what you said about plushies, neku. i will not forgive this as a plushie enthusiast.

While playing the game, I was under the assumption that I would get to change partners whenever once I unlocked it. Rhyme seemed cool, so I was hoping to get to partner with her.

And then the game killed her off.

Despite not knowing anything about rhyme, she was still my favorite character. Besides beat of course, but that's later during week 3.

I remember that I was crying when I first saw her death. I was all like "why did they make such a cool character design, just to kill her off?? that doesn't make sense."

earlier today I saw a tweet on twitter that said "cute cosplay idea for couples!" and it was a rhyme cosplay and a shark costume and I nearly lost my shit laughing, so I guess I'm over it.

When week 1 was ending, I remember feeling like "wait, that's it?" of course, I was wrong.

anyways week 2 now uhh uhhhhhh-

when I first met joshua and learned that I could scan him I was all like "huh???". also excellent foreshadowing there, square enix!

also JOSHUA IS A FRUIT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS PERSON ISN'T GAY JUST LOOK AT HIM

at this point, I didn't really know what to expect anymore. the game broke one of its already established rules, "players can't scan other players" so I had no idea what was coming next anymore.

SHO MINAMIMOTO IS HOT!!!!

uhhg. don't got anything else to say about this week except I genuinely thought hanekoma was the composer.

I was extremely shocked to learn that joshua killed neku during this week, and was even more shocked to learn that it was a misfire (and then I learned it wasn't a misfire but that's in week 3 and we haven't gotten to that yet!)

WEEK THREE!!! BEAT TIME!!!

alright, before I started week 3, I actually didn't like beat all that much. that changed a LOT during week 3. he is now one of my favorite characters.

later that week, I had finally learned joshua was the composer and was actually extremely shocked lol.

oh uh I also got spoiled on how beat and rhyme got hit by a car from ign so uhhhh oops

SHO SOMEHOW GOT HOTTER!!!!

I beat the game. I loved the credits theme (and will rewatch the credits later) and really liked how neku threw off his headphones to symbolize how he won't shut himself off from the world anymore.

10/10 game, really enjoyed playing it!

also there was a scene early on where neku went up to a reaper and said I know what you are and I didn't get to screenshot it :(

so.. yeah! my experience with twewy! good game! one of my favorites now! getting neo soon!

[kuriouskobold]

So I started playing Another Crab's Treasure on Friday!!!

I beat it earlier today! Here are some tips & tricks! I'll label them by section, so watch out for spoilers!

General tips:

In the assist options menu, there's an option to recover your microplastics. Do NOT be ashamed if you have to use this! Sometimes your junk gets stuck in a tough spot, or in a boss fight trigger, or stuck under the map, and in all cases, it's perfectly fine to use this!

Top up your health in boss fights! Sometimes, that little bit of extra health can help you survive a big hit!

Blocking? Overrated. No, really! Most times you can block, you could be dodging. If you're wearing an S or M shell, just dodge. Blocking is good with L shells though, since they usually have higher durability ratings.

Umami crystal related things:

*Grips you by the shoulders* Grab hammer as soon as possible I'm begging you please I swear to cod it makes the game so easy- *Cough* The hammer skill is very, VERY powerful. You might think: Oh, but I'm sure it'll make my attack speed slower, and I don't like that!!! Well. The attack speed change, and damage boost, is based on the size of the shell attached (S, M, L). So attach an S shell and you're just getting extra free damage! It can also be used to just, store an extra shell, if you need it.

*Grips your shoulders harder* Wavebreaker is also very powerful!!! Only against bosses though, since you don't need that much damage against normal enemies. A basically arena-wide attack that gets you up close, and deals balance damage? And you can combo it as long as you have barbed hooks? It's a game changer.

Also the one that lets you attack their weak spot comes in handy!

If you haven't met the Mantis Shrimp yet, do that as soon as possible! I won't tell you where to find them, but you can upgrade your adaptations there! If you thought Royal Wave was useful before, imagine if having more damage and AOE, and only costing 1 Umami charge!

Stowaways and battle strategy:

When exploring, use stowaways to boost your VIT as much as possible. Basic enemies don't need too much extra damage to kill, so the extra HP really helps when something catches you off guard.

But, for bosses... There's one strategy I found that trivialized all of the bosses. I no-hit at least 4 lategame bosses with this strategy: Capsize is coddamn overpowered. Put on as many of the "Sinker/Sinker+/Sinker++" stowaways as you can! (If you have all 9 slots, use either 1 Sinker, 1 Sinker+, and 1 Sinker++ for 105%, or three Sinker+'s for the same bonus.) These increase the amount of balance damage you do! All this only applies past the first boss, when you would start getting this stuff!

^ Continued. Take a few runs to learn your opponent's attack patterns, and then: Attach a S or M shell to your hammer, with decent durability. Make sure to have Royal Wave (Preferably LV 3), and another adaptation of your choice! Mantis punch works very well for this, though. If you don't have hammer or wavebreaker, get 'em! Then: Use royal wave, followed by a basic hammer attack. Dodge any attacks coming your way and repeat until capsized! Then either use a charged attack, use Mantis punch, or hit their weak spot. Repeat until dead! If they ever try to make distance, use wavebreaker, followed by a royal wave, followed by a basic attack, or just use wavebreaker over and over again, though the first is more recommended.

Nyanyways, there you go~!

[happy-tori-friends]

Please elaborate on your ffxiv au 👀

- 🐑 Anon

its nothing concrete but i just like ffxiv...

some spoilers for everything - including endings shadowbringers and endwalker (everyone should play shadowbringers its so good)

i imagine its like an isekai just for funsies, so dont and did have to adjust to not having their abilities. and also being turned into the ffxiv races. they basically wake up on the cart/boat (i think alphinaud and alisae will be going to limsa via the boat in this au... idk if i'll ever write it but if its something ppl wanna see i am Willing...). tho they all have the echo. technically dungeons are meant to be 4 player but for our intents and purposes we're gonna ignore that. its My AU i get to make the rules

as for jobs... splendont is a marauder/warrior, splendid is a gladiator/paladin, flippy is an arcanist - for jobs he'd be a scholar and fliq would be summoner (tho fliq would also do reaper i think)

idk what the twins would start as but theyd end up switching to rogue/ninja asap, tho lifty would go machinist in heavensward and ive toyed with viper shifty. probably archer for a starting class just for gridania rep. i started at maurader on lifty just for easier access to rogue but that doesnt really matter. rip to splendid who is all alone in ul'dah.

now races... the twins are miqo'te, specifically keepers of the moon (bc thats what i made lifty)... maybe wildwood elezen. and flippy... xaela au ra (im an au ra lover... my main's an au ra and i have a secondary character thats also an au ra who i made to pair with estinien bc i like him was the second option for shipping my main w b4 i went with my beloved g'raha. i was gonna put a picture of my main, honoka miyashiro, here but i forgor. lovingly known as honk.) i was thinking au ra for super bros but i think flippy au ra is better. still not sold on elezen tho. maybe hyur? 23rd the 2nd benchmark comes out maybe i'll make them in that? theyre gonna questioned for their names but... oh well.

ive done arr a few times but ive only played the 2.1+ patches very little (im not done with post endwalker yet either i just started 6.4 but i started levelling reaper after the last trial) so i dont remember Too much (im gonna new game plus some things + i could stream ffxiv lifty's adventures) but i do remember many key moments. i'll put a cut here bc im gonna get into story events

i pulled up to the inn to look at the unending journey. but the openings are basically the same except flippy and dont are working together + the twins are too, and the city-states all send out envoys to each other for funny 'oh hey we all had the same idea lmao' moments and they all get directed to go to investigate sastasha (not b4 the twins take up rogue, getting disappointed when they realize they're actually supposed to maintain the code) where they all meet again and everyone is like 'yay thank god you're okay' and of course after copperbell and beating up some dick, all the scions show up and say "hey you're pretty cool join our club :)'

okay i haven't thought too much about story things in main arr + what grand company they join. but. i think if i go the route of different events being focused more on different characters in place of the wol, splendid being the one to be framed for poisoning nanamo might work best bc he does start in ul'dah + being framed like that kinda fucks with him mentally - 'i should've been more diligent, i shouldn't have just picked something up and kept it, how could i have been so blind?' and being considered traitorous + seeing all that happened at the bloody banquet is. well it's... a lot, especially for him (though he probably thinks he should be used to it considering canon htf but in see what develops he did get sick when he saw mime's body. i think. may in fact be misremembering).

splendont holding the twins close to him as they want into ishgard bc its cold and they can barely see through the snow... and the twins thinking 'we've done something good for once, we were celebrated as heroes and this is what we get?'

stormblood i dont have too many thoughts on either but if i go the route of flippy (or well fliqpy really) being the one to be zenos's main rival... i think fliq and zenos would have fun banter. also he would 100% do the reckless thing with yugiri and try to kill him with very little plan.

i think when there's split paths they do split up (aka at the beginning of expansions where there's different quest chains to start with) but thats all i've really thought about so far regarding some beginnings... i do know that i want splendont and the twins to be the ones to go to amh araeng bc them witnessing tesleen would be - that is if i even end up having flippy and splendid in shadowbringers bc they might stay back to help tataru and stuff... but having did there would make it a bit more painful so i dont know. splendont is considered the shard of azem here, (dont ask how if its an isekai its just how things seem to be rolling) and the one feo ul bonds with so it all ends up working out. also the exarch barely managing to bring all 3 (or 5) over when he finally gets it right is funny.

back on the subject of them having seen tesleen transform, it genuinely freaked them the fuck out and fearing it could happen to dont, lifty and shifty probably beg splendont to let them dispell some of the lightwardens' aether especially when y'shtola mistakes him for a sin eater and after qitana ravel where y'shtola is sure it is being absorbed and tells him to inform her of any side effects. but splendont says 'Absolutely Not. i can deal with it i'm not letting Anything happen to you.'

after malikh's well when he starts having pain and getting sick they beg him again, but he again puts his foot down. they fight about it, and the twins spend the night in a different room in pendants (they cant see ardbert anyways and have just thought splendont was seeing things).

things are tense throughout kholusia, and its very clear that lifty and shifty are afraid of what will happen when they kill the final lightwarden. then their fears are proven true when innocence is killed and splendont starts to turn because he cant contain the light and the sky they worked so hard to bring night back to reverts to the eternal day.

and despite the tension, despite the pain, he looks at them and says 'i promise... i'll be fine. i didn't want this to happen to you.'

'you fucking moron, this wouldn't have happened... if we shared the light,' shifty retorts but he and lifty are too afraid to get close, especially with urianger being weird. and all this time theyve gone with this in hopes of finding a way home, and now they might lose splendont and it feels like they'll never get home.

there's a lot of emotions going on with the exarch reveal bc they also dont want him to sacrifice himself just for splendont either but theres no other choice is there and then emet-selch comes in and that little bit of hope is dashed. and though ryne delays the inevitable it is still, at that moment, inevitable. they do their best to help the scions look for a way to save him but it's very clear that they're pessimistic, heartbroken. afraid that it's true that everyone they hold dear to them is destined to be taken away. if theyd fought harder, if they could have been more convincing...

i have more thoughts about shadowbringers (mostly with the twins being afraid splendont is taking up emet's offer) but i'll skip to the end so if i do write it i dont end up spoiling everything. but after ardbert fuses with splendont, lifty and shifty join him to fight hades alongside whoever else the exarch summoned... and when all is said and done and it's revealed that splendont is no longer being corrupted by the light, after they return to the source and have reported to tataru and krile, and they take a moment to breathe... they plead with him to let them bear some of his burdens, just as they let him do. even if it's for their sake, neither of them want him to do anything like that ever again, and they make him promise. they all cry about it, even dont, because Fuck that was probably so stressful. he does tell them what happened with ardbert though.

endwalker... endwalker. ultima thule in particular. while fliq would be the one to fight zenos at the end if i go the 'everyone has a part to play', and probably the one that gets posessed in 'in from the cold' i think i want dont to be the last one standing in ultima thule and extend it a little bit, in particular so lifty and shifty can sacrifice themselves for him. and at the very end when they are alone again he tells them not to scare him like that again. lifty responds with. 'it was like that for us too. that's why we made that promise. your burden was to go forward, and we helped you bear it.'

'we came back anyways,' shifty adds, but he 100% expected to just. be dead forever. theres a lot of crying again. ffxiv makes me emotional so it makes the characters emotional.

also in elpis splendont being like 'i am a familiar of azem.' and shifty confidently goes 'yeah and we're his familiars' and lifty facepalms. 'thats absolutely not how it works, shifty.'

of course none of this is fully set in stone. flippy and splendid might not even be included at all bc a lot of my thoughts are mostly dont lifty and shifty save for zenos n fliq (if i go this route, one of the twins would be made a pugilist and start in ul'dah) bc i dont have many ideas for the twins to have wol major moments other than thinking about them being framed for poisoning nanamo instead of splendid. this also got really long... i'm gonna have to do this arent i? ffxiv au yes or no poll when.

[cosmic--dandelion]

So I have a fairly unique take on Kakyoin's backstory in my own writing. I wrote his parents as straight up toxic, psychologically and sometimes physically abusive, and neglectful. My version of Kakyoin ran away from home years before he met Jotaro, spent some time in a mental institution, and instead of being stalked and kidnapped, deliverately sought Dio out on his own.

Quite a departure from the more commonly accepted "Kakyoin has nice, normal parents who just didn't understand him" interpretation, huh? So why did I write this (other than the fact that I graviate toward angsty backstories) and how does it fit what we know about Kakyoin?

Kakyoin's most obvious feature is his intelligence. All of his friends, who are (mostly) brainy guys themselves, acknowledge that he's the best, most reliable strategist in the group, and a good portion of his dislogue is info-dumping. As expected of an honor student, he's very prim and proper to contrast Jotaro's delinquent image. Yet he's also weird, socially awkward, brutally honest, and emotionally distant. I've heard him described as having no setting in between "uncomfortably polite" and "rude bastard", and damn if that doesn't fit him like glove. In battle, he's probably the scariest, most ruthless crusader and is perfectly capable of straight-up beating the shit out of his closest friends, even if he's also capable of bring the bigger person and forgiving them. Friendship and bonds are everything to him. He's caring and empathetic but has balls of steel and takes exactly zero shit from anyone. He's quite familiar with other cultures' customs and traditions, implying he's an experienced traveler. Kakyoin is very independent and has skills, knowledge, and confidence you wouldn't expect a normal kid his age to have.

I wrote a little about Kakyoin's backstory in the second fanfiction I ever wrote, "Facets" and then in great detail in "In Water". If you haven't yet, please go check them out! They are, in my opinion, quite a bit more interesting that just hearing me talk about them. Now onto spoilers, for both the manga and my own work.

So this is Kakyoin's canonical backstory. All of it. The anime isn't canon, the fighting games aren't canon, the Josuke and Hol Horse spin-off isn't canon. Only this is, plus that 19 page backstory Araki wrote for him thirty years ago that will never see the light of day.

This is it. There's a blurb on his character profile that mentions that his parents are alive, they think he ran away, and they're either "shocked " or "very worried" depending on the translation. Then he dies, and in typical Araki fashion, Kakyoin is never seen or referenced again.

The sheer amount of angst Kakyoin had over no one being able to see his stand, even compared to other born stand users, makes me think there's more to it.

In my version of his backstory, Kakyoin's parents are poor. His dad is a rather unimpressive, unambiguous office worker who's made several bad business decision, escalating tensions between him and his wife. She hails from an upper middle class background and is generally a bit snobbish and image-conscious. Kakyoin's birth just adds fuel to the flames. In addition to being another mouth to feed, he has inexplicably bright red hair and violet eyes. (In my version of the jjba-verse, born stand users just have weird hair and eye colors sometimes.) The husband decides that this means his wife cheated on him with a red-headed foreigner.

Kakyoin is a problem child. He's exceptionally bright and imaginative in a school system (remember, it's 1970s Japan) that doesn't know how to handle gifted children, and he's non-neurotypical with a troubled home life to boot. That conversation with his teacher probably happens around this time. He self isolates, but he's not causing trouble on purpose, and the other kids are intimidated, but not hateful. Yet.

Then his parents have a their worst fight yet, and Kakyoin loses control of Hierophant due to stress and almost kills his father. The man is traumatized (as you would be if you were possessed by an invisible tentacle monster only you son can see and control) and abandons his own family. The mother knows Kakyoin did *something*, but she doesn't know what. Her resentment deepens, and they continue to drift apart.

Kakyoin's relationship with his mother reaches its nadir, and now he *is* getting ostracized. He's angry at the world and starting to lash out. By age 10, Kakyoin has started seeing counselors. He is misdiagnosed as having a whole host of scary-sounding mental disorders and is forced to take powerful mood stabilizers and antipsychotics every day. After all, he spends all his time playing with someone they can't see and drawing a weird green thing that looks like a cthulhuloid abomination. The mother reaches her breaking point and surrenders him to a combination group home/"special school". This experience defined him probably more than any other event in his life before this point. It's incredibly violating and humiliating, and Kakyoin develops a complex about always having to be seen as the smartest guy in the room.

At around age 14, he runs away, desperate to find more people like him. On his travels, he hears rumors about a mysterious, beautiful man in Egypt with strange powers. The entire "family vacation" to Egypt was a lie he made up on the spot because he didn't want to admit that HE sought Dio out, not the other way around, and that he's a runaway with a checkered past.

So what about his parents? My version of Kakyoin doesn't hate them and would have at least tried to bridge the gap between them if they'd both hasn't so thoroughly cut him out of their lives. He feels guilty on some level for not being a good enough son, and he wants to believe that they still love him on some level. Hence the "I'm sorry for making you worry" line.

Are they worried? Probably. They're shitty parents, not monsters.

(The "mom has dad and dad has mom" line? The former Mrs. Kakyoin had a revolving line of boyfriends and lovers, so Kakyoin started to think of 'dad' as a temporary position in her life rather than a singular person. Growing up in a dysfunctional family with no socialization with peers who had normal ones, he has a warped view of how families are.)

So what about Dio?

This one's pretty easy. In my version, Dio acted like a friend at first, lulling Kakyoin into a false sense of security. He was a little intimidated, but not full on terrified. Dio didn't want to risk destroying Kakyoin's brain, finding it quite useful, so he basically tried to groom him so the fleshbud wouldn't be needed. Then once Dio realized that Kakyoin was going to be harder to control than his other minions, he implanted the fleshbud. Dio being Dio, he decided to scare the shit out of the poor kid, savoring his pain and horror and sense of betrayal.

I think I would probably feel differently giving Kakyoin this amount of baggage if I ever wrote anything canon-compliant. I also didn't add it to make him more of a wobbie or break him so Jotaro could fix him with the power of yaoi.

It means something to me that (my version of) Kakyoin went through all this shit and healed from it and went on to lead a long, happy, successful life.

[marypsue]

Bow and heart from this game?

(I'm not two days late answering this, you're two days late answering this.)

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV?

I love ensemble casts. I may have missed a named character or two. Also, I like naming randos who appear without speaking for a second or two, and some of these characters only get a POV for one or two scenes, so these numbers are (hopefully) less daunting than they appear.

RB2: 20 named characters so far in this fic; 13 have POV scenes.

tam lin’s twin: 11 named characters; 3 POVs

former heroes: 33 named characters; 14 POVs

that same small town in each of us: 34 named characters, 7 POVs

why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday: 13 named characters, 3 POVs

Blood Will Out: 9 named characters, 2 POVs

And one I've added since the last time I answered questions for this meme, prisoners here of our own device (working title): 8 named characters so far, 3 POVs

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP?

RB2: I haven't written it into the story yet, but I'm anticipating that it's going to be Ian's vows. (They're written. I just have to work them in.)

tam lin’s twin: I'm very, very pleased with the first monster attack (and a thing that happens at the same time that I think will make several of you yell at me).

former heroes: Oh that is one very big spoiler but it is a moment I have planned that I haven't reached in my writing yet and. I think you'll all know it when you see it.

that same small town in each of us: I had to jump ahead in the fic (which I almost never do) specifically to write a Hawkins, Indiana Chief of Police Nancy Wheeler equivalent to the scene where Hopper beats up a state trooper outside a seedy bar for information so I'm gonna say: that.

why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday: It's gotta be Robin with the hair dryer.

Blood Will Out: The reveal in the dead mall! (Honestly I just love the dead mall vampire hangout, conceptually and aesthetically. One of the things I'm particularly hoping to do with this fic is respect the vibe of how aesthetically off the chain The Lost Boys is.)

prisoners here of our own device: Bloodletting (evil version).

[glagger-true]

Howdy dear reader! I'm your host Glagger, and today I bring you the ninth post of Password VN medal analysis series.

Much like its predecessors, this post SPOILERS FOR THE NOVEL. So please, if you haven't read the novel yet, and don't want to be spoiled, leave for now.

Scorpio, the medal of "Evil", Purpose and Honesty:

Scorpio is given to Dave in the hedge-maze by Roswell, on the final day of path A. Dave finds Roswell in the middle of the hedge-maze and, in most routes, he's on the verge of death, giving an envelope containing the medal and a letter to Dave after the hyena gives him Thanatos' body. In Roswell's route however, Dave finds him already dead and picks up the envelope to read the letter after he sets Thanatos next to the boar.

The letter contains the final words of Roswell, as well as an extensive apology in which he explains the reasons behind all the bad things he did, and why he broke the medicine inside the vault. He reassures Dave he's happy and has no regrets, despite knowing he would die in the end, satisfied in doing what was right from his perspective in the warped situation they got stuck in. He also confesses that the main thing comforting him in the end is the fact that he'll get to meet Dave again in the next universe, admitting he is scared of dying, now that he's at the end. Roswell also asks Dave to tell Flora he loves her if he dies before getting the chance to do it himself.

In Roswell's route, the letter has an extra passage, where he apologizes for leaving Dave so soon, telling him how he laid awake at night thinking about him as a child until his innocent crush turned to love. The boar confesses that his affection might have played a role in how much he wished to protect Dave, and that deep down, part of him hoped Dave would do the same for him even if it was impossible. He concludes the letter by thanking Dave for being his friend and also so much more than he thought possible, stating how bittersweet it is that everytime he thinks of Dave their time grows shorter since the hyena makes his heart beat faster, ending the passage with a goodbye and an I love you. Once the reading ends, a near-crying Dave realizes the medal is inside the envelope as well.

In astrology, Scorpio is categorized as the negative fixed water sign of the zodiac. The strengths of Scorpio are psychic and emotional, making them a strongly intuitive sign with strong psychic powers. Being highly emotional and secretive, Scorpio is a very suspicious sign that hates both revealing its secrets and the dishonesty of others. They can be very manipulative both to defend themselves and to search for the truth. Followers of astrology often misunderstand Scorpio as an evil sign, since it's associated with negative traits such as jealousy, competitiveness, tactlessness, dark sexual desires and an inclination towards the occult.

Astrologers believe that people born under Scorpio are persistent to the point they become borderline obsessive, which, combined with their intellect, can ensure they accomplish even the most impossible objectives. They are guarded and secretive, never revealing their true goals and objectives until they acheive them. Strategic and patient, their hidden agendas are very unpredictable since they are always plotting, manipulating and orchestrating, having no trouble in playing long games to get what they wish. Scorpios become fiercely loyal and protective when they love someone, unrivaled in empathy, commitment and devotion when they build trust with their loved ones. They will do everything in their power to keep their dear ones safe. This also causes them to be jealous and vengeful, never forgetting when someone hurts them or those they care about. This strong passion sometimes makes them controlling, which is why they can tend to end up poisoning themselves with their own stinger in their search for control.

The first planetary ruler of Scorpio is the old ruler Mars, who represents action, energy, drive, determination, passion and anger. While the modern ruler is Pluto, who represents destruction, regeneration and transformation. The combined influence of these rulers is directly responsible for why Scorpio is so ambitious, passionate and power-hungry for control, despite being a water sign. Scorpio has a strong ego, but also acknowledges the need to desconstruct themselves and reform better to get what they want and bring happiness to those they care for.

In Greek Myth, Scorpio is the Scorpion sent after the hunter Orion by the goddess of the hunt Artemis and her mother Leto to kill him, after he boasted to them he would hunt every animal on earth without fail. After Orion got killed by the scorpion, Zeus raised both to the stars at the request of Artemis, as a reminder mortals should control their pride. Another version has Apollo, the twin brother of Artemis, send the Scorpion after Orion out of jealousy because he earned his sister's favor by admitting she was a better hunter than him. The ancient Greeks also believed the Libra constellation was actually a part of Scorpio, making it the representative of fairness, civility, and justice.

The description of Scorpio's traits is almost a step-by-step description of Roswell as a person. He is empathetic, competitive, persistent, stubborn, secretive and strategic, also possesing an obsession with death and the occult. He is loyal, devoted and protective of Dave, to the point where he can be controlling and make decisions for the hyena without taking his feelings into consideration. He holds a strong grudge against Tyson for harming him and Dave in the past, seeking vengeance long after the events have passed. Despite his stubborn bitterness against the wolf, Roswell chooses to let the trust he has for Dave win out, and actively tries to desconstruct his preconceptions and behavior to make the hyena happy.

Roswell being the mastermind is also perfectly fitting with Scorpio's motif. He has the most hidden agenda of all characters in the cast, carefully manipulating events and people with his intelligence to acheive his secret goal of saving as many people as possible. The secret is so well guarded that only Dave finds it out after an unnatural power allows him to do so. Despite the murders and manipulation, Roswell fought for what he believed was right and tried to stand for justice and fairness even in a warped scenario where those things where difficult to see.

Roswell's letter also shows these traits to the reader. Not only does it expose the depth of his secrecy and manipulation, but also his empathetic devotion and desire to do what's right by the people he cares about. From him ensuring the medicine in the vault remains destroyed in all iterations by hiding the password to the vault so ill-intended people can't abuse of the innocent with it, to him openly confessing his selfless love for Dave as one of the driving forces behind his actions, the letter reveals all of the boar's qualities and faults, which all tie with Scorpio.

Finally, Craig comments that some people associate Scorpio with evil, but that he doesn't put any stock in it, claiming signs are just stars in the end. He also says that even though the person who gave the medal away is the root of all the tragedy, that doesn't matter. This parallels well with how most people would assume Roswell to be evil on the surface considering his actions, but in reality, he is very kind and does his best to do the right thing by everyone in everything he does. Him being the villain doesn't make him evil nor his medal an evil medal, and both are a lot more complex than black and white labels.

Banner was made by Xernok on Discord.

Artwork was made by https://twitter.com/Leo_Zeke on Twitter.

[trevorendeavors]

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

Now pass the phone to me.

GUYS.

There is no way these parallels are a coincidence.

I am 99% sure that Dana Terrace was referencing Kirby when making the Collector. For context, I've not seen For the Future yet, so please no spoilers beyond the trailer. I haven't seen anything other than Luz's palisman, that one thirty second clip from the owl club, and an irrelevant screenshot of Hunter.

Also plz don't spoil FTF in the comments or reblogs :(

That said,

TW: Discussion of Cults

Canonically,

Kirby:

god or godlike being

heavily associated with stars. As in, Hoshii no Kaabi (Kirby of the Stars)

ambiguous gender (referred to as he in American translations, gender neutral pronouns in Japanese)

rides on a star

The Collector:

god or godlike being

heavily associated with stars. "Child of the stars"

ambiguous gender, canonically a he/they

rides on a star

Still not convinced? Well I believe there was a specific game Dana was referencing: (MAJOR KIRBY SPOILERS AHEAD)

In Kirby star Allies, Kirby gains the ability to turn enemies into friends by launching friend hearts on them.

It’s an ability unlocked by a botched resurrection/rebirth of a dead god accidentally granting Kirby that ability.

No seriously, that's how it happens.

Here's a short summary for those not familiar with the Kirby franchise.

Basically, cult leader Lord Hyness and his closest followers once managed to stop an out-of-control being named Galacta Knight (shown below)

However, the people eventually began to fear LH and his ilk, so they preemptively tried to seal them away and erase their existence from history (rude). LH and his people survived and managed to obtain a vessel containing their Dark Lord (basically, an egg that housed a god or godlike being) Cult leader Lord Hyness then attempted to resurrect the god Void Termina.

But the ceremony went horrible wrong, shattering the vessel into friend hearts and dark hearts that were scattered to the stars. One such friend heart landed on Kirby, granting him the ability to quote-un-quote, "befriend" his enemies...

...

... by which I mean brainwash smaller enemies into doing his biddies while exorcising dark-heart-possessed individuals by beating the shit out of them until they were no longer usable vessels for possession. I'm not even kidding, this is actually canon.

Eventually, Kirby, with his amassed allies, confronts Belos, Hyness, who has this to say:

We are the masters of a power driven to the far reaches of the universe, and we have but one desire! Can one such as you possibly fathom how dearly we have clung to this dream across the aeons? How could you! You couldn't! Never ever ever! We who once faced those who were in such fear of our power that they sealed us away and banished us to the edge of the galaxy! US! As if THAT loveliness wasn't enough, they tried to erase our very existence from history! RUDE! Only through our magic were we able to overcome their science and achieve great prosperity! We alone were responsible for stopping that repulsive nightmare of a galactic crisis, yet this is how you repay us! This won't stand! It won't be forgiven! It won't be forgotten! Never ever EVER! Those who called us mad, are you listening? You left us at the edge of the galaxy to be forgotten, then went along your merry way, probably living somewhere pretty and peaceful! But know this! Your future is a farce! You have none! We, masters of a matter most dark, vow to be restored, as foretold in the book of legend, which everyone thought was just a fairy tale! It WASN'T! We have already obtained the vessel that contains our Dark Lord, and he will soon awaken and shower us in compassion! Look! The vessel of our Dark Lord is filling up even as we speak! Now the time for his greatness to enter our world has come! Welcome to a new history! A new age! The age of awesome! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARK LORD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Grace us, Gloriously Dark Looooooord!

And when cornered, he drains the life source of his closest followers, his priestesses, and uses them as fucking battering rams.

Oh and btw they're all conscious when this happens. If you listen closely, you can actually hear their grunts of pain when they hit the ground.

When that fails, he forces the god-resurrection to fruition by tossing in the priestesses' bodies and his own into the alter, bringing foooooRTH!!!

VOID TERMINA.

A morally neutral being who also uses the same tactics as Kirby to defeat his enemies (except somehow Void doing it makes it evil or something *shrug*). Oh, and Void's implied to be born from the same material as Kirby (or vice versa).

Upon Void's defeat, it's said he may be reborn in another form and perhaps someday... a friend.

AND THEN THERE'S THE OWL HOUSE

In which The Collector, a god or godlike being, was sealed away by a Titan (probably because of their destructive, reckless nature - idk for sure I haven't seen the episode). As an act of revenge, the Collector made a deal with the inhabitants of the titan trapper witches: he would grant them (or more specifically Bill - not GF Bill btw) power in exchange for slaughtering the Titans. The blood of the last Titan (King) would then be used to revive The Collector from his prison.

Then along comes a scrunkly dunkly old human who winds up trapped on the Boiling Isles, a realm populated by witches and demons living atop a carcus. Convinced of the inherently evil nature of the inhabitants, he deceives them into aiding him in their own execution.

In order to pull this off, he enlists the help of The Collector. In exchange for promising to release them, The Collector teaches Belos magic "stronger than anybody's." That is, the Draining Spell.

Belos then professes himself to be able to commune with the dead Titan (the Boiling Isles itself) and thus convinces them to brand themselves with the sigils that would serve as their metaphorical nooses.

The draining spell works, but Belos breaks his promise by using up the last of the Titan's Blood to (attempt to) travel home, only to thwarted by Luz, who traps him in the draining spell.

Meanwhile, King makes a deal with the now-betrayed Collector: stop the draining spell in exchange for their freedom and a game of "Owl House." The Collector agrees, and King follows through on his promise. Well, part of it anyway. He frees the Collector, they stop the spell, but he attempts to escape with Luz to the human realm. The Collector stops this; Luz, her friends, and unfortunately Belos manage to escape to the human realm.

There, Belos goes around possessing and consuming various woodland creatures until he has enough sustenance to possess Hunter, one of his former second-in-commands.

This ultimately fails, which leads to him fleeing back to the Boiling Isles, where For the Future begins.

NOW LET'S TALLY UP OUR PARALLELS

WE GOT:

Horrifically misguided religious leader? Check.

Masked at some point? Yep.

Drains their closest followers and uses their bodies for their own gain? Yep.

Particularly brutally betrays their second in command?

OH YEAH.

Winds up sucked into that very spell themselves? Sorta.

Hyness intentionally sacrifices himself to the spell in order to resurrect Void Termina, whereas Belos is tricked by Luz into getting drained by the spell.

Not to mention we got the fuckin uhhhhh GODLIKE BEING WHO MIND CONTROLS FORCIBLY BEFRIENDS PEOPLE

This could be Void or Kirby paralleling the Collector depending on how you read it. However, Void and Kirby are definitely two sides of the same coin, and if my interpretation is correct, I believe The Collector is meant to be a parallel of BOTH. Neither good nor evil: simply raw power put in the hands of a child too young to comprehend or manage it.

-

Now I'll admit, TOH doesn't follow the KSA story tit for tat. I believe that Titan-trappers take the role of the people who sealed away the eldritch power. The placement of Galacta Knight vs the Titan as who fits in what role is harder determine.

Despite this, there are definitely some pretty solid inspirations.

The aesthetic of FTF very clearly draws inspiration from KSA. Hell, KSA was originally released in 2018, around the time Dana was developing the series. It's very likely she drew inspiration from this video game, if not played it herself. There are simply too many parallels to count.