#Also Gordon calls Thomas ��dear.”

[marie-golds-bleeding-ink]

Thomas and Gordon rambles that turned into 1x4

I really like their Alliance and want to explore that a bit. Like in them getting along better, obviously, helping each other out on jobs, being able to communicate better and sort out whatever fights they may have together, supporting each other through the crisis (wars, end of steam, covid,) and growing closer all throughout.

And to go further, they have jobs they do together, or maybe Gordon lets it slip that he likes quiet work so Thomas invites him to shunt or do something like that. And Gordon’s mellowed so he’s like “that’s alright with me,” and so they go shunting every now and then and chat, joke around, gossip and whatnot.

My AU and 1x4

(Mind you I see them as being similar mental ages, think early-late mid twenties.)

So in my au, when they get human bodies they’ll grab coffee or cakes from wherever, play with cats, watch movies, read books together…

Thomas loves contact, like hugs or slinging his arms over people but respects that Gordon isn’t very comfortable with openly showing affection, at least for now. That gives Gordon the agency and room to give his own shy affections out (in hand holding, shoulder pats, or just standing close,) and Thomas is thrilled. And they’re even happier together when they share a bed for plot reasons- I mean lodging complications.

They both dislike sleeping alone for one, and they compliment each others styles. Thomas sleeps close meaning Gordon won’t feel lonely, and Gordon hugs in his sleep which makes Thomas feel safe.

They grow close to each other, and support each other with their identities too. Gordon affirms Thomas’ enby-ness, helps them with fashion and checks in when Thomas is having a rough day. Thomas validates and encourages Gordon’s GNC-ness and helps him find confidence in it.

They talk about other personal subjects too, like their siblings or their feelings about their public lives or other stresses they may connect over. Or how they’ve kinda quit the dating scene for different and similar reasons.

A lot Gordon’s previous crushes are either with someone else or busy. Even if they aren’t, there’s either past bad blood or the risk of ending friendships that Gordon cherishes. As such, he’s moved past those crushes and decided to stay single.

Thomas has had his own (complicated,) crushes but realized early on he wasn’t ready for romance, at least not long lasting, and decided to stay single, though he’s a bit sad over that.

Thomas and Gordon connect over this, as it’s something they have in common, even for different reasons. It also stays between them, as these are super personal feelings and whatnot. So a sweet part of their relationship is them supporting each other through their singleness.

And they get closer and closer and at one point they’re out on a trip, Thomas notes it’s like a date and Gordon is like, “that does sound nice but I like this much better.”

Thomas is like, “you do?”

And Gordon’s like “yes. After all, if I went off on dates I couldn’t be here with you. We wouldn’t be able to talk like we have, and I‘d much rather have this.” With this warm smile on his face.

Thomas laughs (and blushes,) and says “I’m glad you think that Gordon. That makes me very happy!”

And it goes on. They fall in love, and it’s subtle and slow and sweet. They notice things about each other, go fishing together, chat about musicals or opera, tousle each others hair…

Then one day, on a nice afternoon, they’re alone in the sheds talking. It’s a lovely conversation and without realizing, they confess their love to each other. Then they realize just that and have this moment of “ohhh, we’re in love!”

And because they’ve grown and trust each other a lot, they’re quite mature about this, and decide to get together officially. There’s a bit of flustering and blushing, but they handle it very well. And since they were low key dating for months up until this point, not much changes aside from more snuggles.

Thomas and Gordon are very happy about this, so happy in fact, they forgot to share the news! Meaning everyone finds out 4 months late. They’ll notice new things about Thomas and Gordon’s behavior (laughing more, Gordon being all huggy, the two shunting together, little jokes from Thomas that sound oddly like bad flirting that Gordon is amused and fond for.) but might not put the pieces together cause what-are-the-odds-right?

Anyways, Thomas and Gordon like kisses. Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, quick-on-the-lip-before-i-miss-my-train-kisses and whatnot. And they both wear lipstick so they leave stains. Usually they remember to wipe these off, but sometimes they forget. I imagine the reveal goes like this;

Percy: “Say Thomas, don’t those marks on your face look like Gordon’s lipstick?”

Thomas: “Yep! They’re all from him!”

Percy: “Ohh, I see.”

Gordon: “Oh dear, I didn’t realize how carried away I got, my apologies.”

A beat.

Edward: “I’m sorry?”

Thomas: “Hehe, no worries. I forgot to ask for the wipes after all-”

James: “Wait a minute-“

Gordon: “Say Thomas, did we not tell them-“

Everyone but Thomas and Gordon: “WHAT?!??”

*cue overlapping reactions while Gordon sighs and Thomas nervous chuckles.

Thomas: “didn’t we tell you? I thought you all knew hahaha 😅,”

Gordon: “It seems we got carried away dear Thomas.” *affectionate smile*

Once the initial shock is over, everyone concludes this was rather obvious and calms down. There’s teasing of course, but for the most part everyone is glad to see Thomas and Gordon so happy together.

Even if Gordon’s a cheesy romantic and Thomas a clumsy flirt.

[tttewolves]

No Worries

This is a short fanfiction for @dragons-and-magic and she wanted me to do Edward x BoCo in her Dragon AU! I highly recommend to follow her!🐉

Anyways, let’s dive into it!😁

No Worries

Edward coiled around himself like a snake on the mountain’s cliff as he sighed in relief, “Ah, much better.”

Just having a time on his own was enough for him. After looking after Thomas like a father would to his son, it was quite exhausting. His ‘adoptive son’ was notorious to getting into sorts of mischief like going near humans to pranking bigger dragons like Gordon. Although he cares for him dearly, he just needed a break like any old wise dragon needs.

As he watched the sunset, he heard large footsteps behind him. There, was a majesty boxy looking green dragon, named BoCo, and his wings drooped down. Once he got close to Edward, he collapsed and sighed.

“Having a rough day, dear?”, Edward spoke softly and purred tiredly.

“The twins were being nothing but trouble.”, BoCo sighed as he rolled his eyes with a small smile.

“Figures.”, Edward hummed, “Same goes to Thomas. He just recently pranked on Gordon with the help of Percy and James. These three always spell ‘disaster’.”

“Meanwhile, Bill and Ben keep on pestering me with some nonsensical comments and questions. They even keep calling my name with annoying voices.”, BoCo shook his head sadly.

“I understand. It can be exhausting, but we can’t help but care for them. They are family.”, Edward explained.

BoCo hummed, “That couldn’t been more true.”

There, Edward slithered to BoCo, and rested his head under his chin, “But there’s no need to worry now. We can now have our own peace. Just you and me.”

BoCo blushed before he smiled gently as the two rubbed each other’s head and purred like a happy kitten. While displaying their love for each other, Edward lick his cheek as a form of kiss as BoCo chuckled, “I’m glad you have some sanity.”

“Same to you, BoCo.”, Edward chuckled back as they continued to purr.

Although they both had a rough day with their ‘children’, they managed to stay strong and managed to support one another. Their love is so strong and powerful. They were two dads that help the young ones from trouble. Even though they have some responsibility, they both needed to rest and have each other for alone time.

…

When the sun was dying, Edward and BoCo fell asleep as they purred contently, “I love you, my dear.”, Edward whispered before closing his weary eyes.

“And I love you, Ed.”, BoCo replied as he also closed his tired eyes.

[tttea1blog]

While this is not really related tttea1, I figured I would post it here with the sketches.

So this was based on a conversation with a friend about the transformers ttte designs, and I decided to have a go at it since I felt like they could be a bit better. And I ended doing some lore for it.

Is this more of a crack au? Yes.

Is it ment to be taken seriously? Nope XD.

So enjoy this little thing I did.

Beware this is long, and there may be some scary imagines ahead.

First our boy Thomas:

- He is a pretty average, but slightly smaller tank engine compared to the rest of his E2 class.

- But like his brothers and sisters before him, his he has an axe for a main wepon and generally is skilled with handling wepons.

- His personality is overall the same to the normal series.

And here is the sketch:

Ok now our red boi:

- James is a mixed traffic, tender engine. Not one of the large engines of course, but he likes to act like one.

- His wepon was not ment for him originally, but it was gifted to him to try and give him some "power", also if James swings it too hard he will swing himself in circles due to how comically big the mallet is.

- His personality is overall the same, however he is a bit more like his Magic of Railroad counterpart.

And here is the sketch:

Allright, now the Green Caterpillar:

- Percy is... Actually... No one knows what Percy exactly is, he is kinda a mixed of multiple classes, all that's known is that he is a saddle tank.

- So Percy doesn't really have wepons, since he is more hand to hand combat, sometimes he does carry around a gun just in case.

- His personality is more like his railway series one, with hints of the model series in it. Don't call him dirty Percy.

And here's the sketch:

Alright let's get to our wise old iron:

- Edward is also a mixed traffic, tender engine, a bit of a smaller one, but is just as powerful.

- Edward does a wepon, it is a gun that is on his right hand, yes, he technically has a buster thing.

- His personality is overall the same personality as his railway series and model series counterpart.

And here's the sketch:

Allrighty, let's do big G now:

- Gordon is a Doncaster tender engine, one of the big engines who does the heavy work and is the dear brother of Flying Scottsman.

- His wepon is a gun, a sniper to be accurate, though many don't know due to him not using it alot.

- His personality is very much like his model series counterpart, and I am pretty sure the picture alone speaks for itself.

And here's the sketch:

This is getting long so I will do the rest in another post.

[oswigailvr]

Hello everyone, I'm Oswigail and today I come to show you one of my alternate universes of Thomas and his friends, my human versions called 100% humanized, a world where the characters are students, locomotive drivers and locomotive drivers, or in some others. cases the guards or another official of the northwest railway of Sodor governed and directed by Sir Tophan Hat and here are the characters that have the most prominence in my au. 1 Thomas, who everyone already knows, but now as a young man of 15 years (in this universe he is paired with Rosie from the ships later we discuss) Thomas in this universe has the responsibility of being an older brother after saving his mother Lady from Diesel 10 he discovers that his mother had another daughter, one called Lady Jr, whom he must take care of at the request of his mother, whom it is not very common to see.2 Edward, a boy (here he is not old, honestly, he seems anything but an old man) well a wise and kind but shy but brave and helpful young man.3 Henry is the same scared young man as always paranoid and a little hypochondriac but it is simple a young man who was completely planned to be granted but not in the traditional way behind manipulating some things about his genetics looking for the perfect child was simply the opposite and the biggest scam and crime with the illusion of a couple who had difficulties having children, adding this to the unstable state of health of his mother, resulted in a premature Henry. and sickly going from hospital to hospital seeking to heal his illnesses until he decided to try experimental medications seeking to improve all his weaknesses and currently we are seeing the change (it is the equivalent of special charcoal and its reconstruction).4 Gordon, the oldest of the group although He shares the same age as his best friend Henry, the only one who will always have to endure him being childhood friends but still that bond is too strong Gordon and Henry are opposites because Henry is weak and sickly Gordon although he had health problems in the past more also family conflicts, he is Healthy, athletic, strong, fast and the strongest of the group, things that he seeks to increase in his quest to be the express train Gordon and Henry opposite but that does not prevent him from continuing to have his arrogant, arrogant, conceited, and even discriminatory attitudes that Henry almost always He has to correct so that his friend does not get the hatred of everyone because he knows better the reason for his attitude. 5 James, our dear reddish boy, the most conceited member of the steam team, conceited and often unbearable unless he has charisma James is simply James, I know he thinks he is the most handsome not only of the team but of the group but that doesn't stop him from having to put down to earth whenever he realizes or they let him know that he ruined everything James has a strong crush on Emily and hates seeing her sad because of him they are explosive many times but it is a relationship of yes you can stand me I will stand you better the typical boyfriends that one day they fight and the next they forgive each other.6 Percy is a very kind young man, Percy is small and adorable but he also has his fearful side but he also still retains his cheeky and mischievous side that he always tries to repress but it is something he knows will never go away. although a good friend to Thomas and a good boy to Lady Jr., Thomas' little sister. These are the first characters, the list goes on but I will bring it in parts

You can start asking your ship questions or au questions Or just questions from the characters I introduced for now

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 129:

*Henry is in hell looking like a fucked up 3D model of his engine form while having human limbs coming out of it*

Fucked Up 3D Henry: *In a text-to-speech voice* Where am I? What is this place? Hello?

*Suddenly, James appears in front of him*

Fucked Up 3D James: *In a text-to-speech voice* Dear Avonside 0-4-0ST, hooray. I must express my unbounded elation that you have returned. Where have you been all this time, Percy?

Fucked Up 3D Henry: I am not Percy.

Fucked Up 3D James: Eew. Henry, why do you look like that? You're even uglier than I remember you, which is saying something.

Fucked Up 3D Henry: I humbly request that you to stop acting so impolite, James. Furthermore, I will also request you look at yourself. *Hands James a mirror*

Fucked Up 3D James: *Looks in the mirror* dddddddaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA-

*Without any warning, Edward, Toby and Emily all arrive to meet with James and Henry*

Fucked Up 3D Emily, Toby and Edward: *In text-to-speech voices* Dear L&YR Class 28, have you any conception of what is happening right now?

Fucked Up 3D James: Warmest greetings, GNR 1003 Stirling Single, GER Class C53/LNER J70 and FR 21/K2 class. I, like you three, have no conception of what is happening right now.

Fucked Up 3D Toby: *In a text-to-speech voice* That is sorrowful news. I would like to alert you the combustion happening near me is at a temperature far above my comfort level.

Fucked Up 3D James: Combustion? Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with the definition of that word.

*James then bursts into flames*

Fucked Up 3D James: Oh, you mean fire.

Fucked Up 3D Toby: You are correct in your assessment.

Fucked Up 3D James: Congratulations to us for our clear communication-

Fucked Up 3D Toby: Congratulation to us for our clear communication.

Fucked Up 3D Emily: *In a text-to-speech voice* I would like to join the conversation too.

*Later*

Fucked Up 3D Emily: Distinguished colleagues, I find it of utmost importance to deduce how we were transported to this alternate dimension.

Fucked Up 3D Toby: Dear GNR 1003 Stirling Single, it is my belief that we are here because we reached a state incompatible with life in the Overworld all in the same manner and by the same engulfing vacancy.

Fucked Up 3D Emily: Dearest GER Class C53/LNER J70, what is your implication?

Fucked Up 3D Edward: *In a normal voice* Toby's saying that we all got yeeted into a black hole after somebody blew up our spaceship up and that's how we got here. I don't know why you're all talking like that but I'm not going to do it.

*James then stretches his arm in a cartoonish manner and squishes Edward into a boxed state*

Fucked Up 3D James: Cherished compatriots, I must posit that the speech of this deluded fellow was of extreme difficulty to understand.

Fucked Up 3D Emily: I concur.

*One hour later, Thomas and Gordon are standing around James, Henry, Emily, Toby and Edward*

Fucked Up 3D James: *Still in flames* Admired acquaintances, I warmly appreciate your gracious company. However, I am still combusting and I am frankly disappointed none of you are taking initiative to assist me with this.

*Everybody just stares at James in silence*

Fucked Up 3D Henry: I ain't helping someone who called me ugly.

[fanficfish]

Gordon Ranch AU headcanons

main post

Playlist

headcanons for my version of Gordon in my human ranch ttte au! And other stuff. I'll probably re-edit this in the morning lmao.

He's a city boy (son of the famous Sir Nigel Gresley) that moved to the country to get away from the wild life of showbiz. He still likes to show off though- hence why he runs an "Express" service to take visitors and locals alike from one side of the island to the other. It's actually decently fast and reliable, to most people's surprise.

He kind of figured out Henry has some relation to him, but didn't really think too hard about it and assumed he was just some distant relative because he has A Lot of those. He finds out that Henry is actually more related to him then he thought after Gordon himself went to the hospital for a broken arm and a nurse asked if he and Henry were brothers. Gordon came back to the ranch and didn't speak to anyone for three days while he processed, and Henry contemplated if it was worth requesting to be transferred to the other side of the ranch but have to deal with Bill and Ben. (He decided getting stared at by Gordon was more manageable.)

He's very overprotective of his family, new or old, after most of his family [eedacted] [redacted] [redacted]. Thomas thinks it's holalrious watching Gordon following Scott's every move, until Thomas himself finds himself ont he recieving end after complaining that he almost slipped on some very slick mud.

He's not great at keeping in touch, but Scott doesn't mind taking th initiative to give his dear big brother a call every now and then, and it's a highlight of both their days.

Gordon is vey strong-minded, and in the early days of the NWR, he fought and bickered with Thomas all the time. They made up after a [eedacted] incident, and Gordon considers it the best move he'd made since Thomas helped him avoid the first Sir Topham Hatt's wraith. In return, Gordon sometimes helped Thomas, who was head stable hand at that time, with stable chores.

Gordon was a bit apprehensive when he first met Donald and Douglas, since all twins in his experience (read: Bill and Ben) were nothing but trouble. He finally came around after finding out how helpful they were, and then regretted his decision to trust them after they duct taped his shoes to the floor after he boasted his cart could go faster then theirs with the same load of goods.

He once helped North get a job outside the family ties. He claims he hasn't heard from him in years, but every so often he'll get a card or letter and mysteriously have a better mood for a few days.

He likes to work out, if not for the fitness then to flex on everyone else.

He's not good at dodging the tabloids. More then once his face has appeared on the cover, with everything from "Oldest Gresley son a REBEL???" To "Gordon Gresley: Working Against His Will???" The others find it funny. Gordon thinks they have a strange sense of humor when he has to constantly tell gossipy tourists that he's perfectly happy working on a ranch, thank you very much.

When Scott visits, it's twice as bad, and Gordon comes close to punching a tabloid journalist or camera person more then once for invading his privacy. At some points the others take pity on him and the Scottish twins manage to scare off the majority of the tabloids long enough to give the brothers some much-needed bonding time.

He believes in a healthy diet of cheese, potato chips, granola bars, and the occasional apple. Duck is horrified.

He also finds all of Henry's pets minus the squirrels very cute. He personally gets attached to a cow that he and Henry take turns feeding.

He tries to run a marathon at least once a year starting when Duck joins the ranch and he can afford to take time off to travel to the race. He does decently well, but has never come first. He came close once, but was beaten out when his shoe fell off and he cut his food on sharp stone.

He wears contacts that make his eyes look blue, but his eyes are actually a bright (apple) green. This is a secret he will never let the media see over his dead body.

And of course, mandatory piccrews (Artist links will be added as I go back through my search history, but they're all not my art)

Scott and Gordon.

[johnny-kobayakawa-television2015]

Thomas and Friends: Sodor Online Journeys (Story 7): Thomas and The Breakdown Train/Thomas Gets His Motivation

Everyday The Fat Director/The Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt came to the station to catch his train. "Hello," he would always say to Thomas. "Are you doing alright?" "Yes, Sir." said Thomas. "I like a nice change at Edward's Station." "Very well then." said The Fat Director/The Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt. "I hope you don't have to impatient, Thomas. You can never be as strong and fast as Gordon, but you'll always be a really useful engine. Don't let the silly trucks/freight cars tease you. Remember, you have an important job as a Special Helper in the Yard."

There were lots of trucks/freight cars in the yard. Different ones arrive everyday, and Thomas had to push and pull them into their proper places. There is also a small coach, and two strange things his driver called "cranes". "That's The Breakdown Train." he told Thomas. "Whenever there's an accident, the workmen jumps into the coach, and the engine takes them quickly to help the hurt people, and to clear and mend the line. The cranes are for lifting heavy things such as engines, coaches, and trucks/freight cars."

One day, Thomas was in the yard when he heard an engine whistling for trouble. "Help! Help!" And a goods/freight train came rushing through much too fast. The engine's name was "James", and he was frightened. His brakes blocks were on fire, and smoke and sparks streamed out on each side. "They're pushing me! They're pushing me!" he panted. "On! On! On!" laughed the trucks/freight cars.

Still whistling… "Help! Help!" Poor James disappeared under the bridge.

"I like to teach those trucks/freight cars a lesson." said Thomas The Tank Engine. Soon came the alarm. "James is off the line! The Breakdown Train, quickly!" So Thomas was coupled on, the workmen jumped into the coach, and off they went.

Thomas worked his hardest. "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!" he puffed. This time, he wasn't pretending to be like Gordon. He really meant it. "Bother those trucks/freight cars and their tricks." he thought. "I hope poor James isn't hurt."

They found James, and the trucks/freight cars at the bent of the line. The Brake Van, and the last few trucks/cars were on the rails. But the front ones were piled in a heap. James was in a field with a cow looking at him, and his Driver and Fireman were feeling him all over to see if he was hurt. "Never Mind, James." they said. "It wasn't your fault. It was those wooden brakes we gave you. We always said they were no good./It was those silly freight cars and your old wooden brakes that caused the accident." Thomas pushed the Breakdown train alongside, then he pulled the unhurt trucks out of the way/then he pulled away the unhurt freight cars. "Oh dear! Oh dear!" they groaned. "Serves you Right! Serves you Right!" puffed Thomas. When the men put the other trucks/cars on the line, he also pulled them away. He was hard at work puffing backwards and forwards all afternoon. "This'll teach you a lesson! This'll teach you a lesson!" he told the trucks/freight cars, and they answered "Yes it will! Yes it will!" in a sad, groaning, creaky sort of voice.

They left the broken trucks/cars, and mended the line. Then with two cranes, they put James back on the rails. James tried to move, but he couldn't. So Thomas helped him back to the shed.

The Fat Director/The Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt was waiting anxiously for them. "Well, Thomas." he said. "I've heard all about it, and I'm very pleased with you. You're a really useful engine. James shall have some proper brakes, and a New Coat of Paint. And you shall have a Branch Line all to yourself." "Oh thank you, Sir." puffed Thomas.

Now Thomas is as happy as can be. He has a branch line all to himself, and has two coaches called "Annie and Clarabel". He puffs proudly backwards and forward with them all day. He is never lonely, because there are some engines to talk to at the Junction. Edward and Henry stop quite often to tell him the news. Gordon is always in a hurry, and doesn't stop, but he never forgets to say "Poop! Poop!" and Thomas always whistles "Peep! Peep!" in return.

Story End

[arandomperson5647]

Me attempting to fix Edward strikes out

Soooo, this is my first ever post (not including the anniversary thing).

I've considered posting this here but I never officially decided until now. Y'all know the infamous "Edward Strikes Out" episode? Well, about 2 years ago I did a small rewrite of it. Back in the day, for some reason, I used to write in a transcript form, so that's why it looks like this. I've also considered rewriting it in a "novel" style (idk what it's called), but I haven't done it (yet??). I actually posted this on the Thomas wiki when I first wrote it so it might be familiar or smth, idk. I'm gonna tweak it a bit but it's mostly the same as the original.

*One day, Edward was going to pick up some pipes at Brendam Docks, but then he noticed Thomas admiring a new breakdown train. James and Gordon were there too.*

Edward: Who’s that?

Thomas: That’s the new breakdown train. He looks very strong, strong enough to lift you up Gordon!

Gordon: *scoffs* Really? He looks useless to me.

Edward: How come?

Gorden: Can’t you see? He doesn’t have an engine. He can’t go anywhere.

Edward: So? That doesn’t mean anything.

Gordon: It means an engine would have to waste time collecting him.

Thomas: And how is that any different to the other breakdown train?

Gordon: Well, Umm...

Thomas: Haha, looks like I got you there. *then he puffs away*

Gordon: Still, he’ll just get in the way. There's no point in two breakdown trains. Besides, Judy and Jerome are two cranes while this guy is only one. He's probably not as strong.

James: I agree with Gordon, there’s no way he can be really useful.

*Edward then chuffs to the breakdown train to introduce himself.*

Edward: Hello, you’re the new breakdown train, right?

Rocky: *sadly* Yes, I am.

Edward: Is something wrong?

Rocky: I over heard what those two engines said, they don’t think I’ll be really useful.

Edward: Don’t listen to them, they’ll change their mind once they see you in action.

Rocky: Thanks, I’m Rocky.

Edward: And I’m Edward, nice to meet you. I’d better get going, I don’t want to be late.

*Edward was delivering his pipes, but couldn’t stop thinking about Rocky.*

Edward: *to himself* I’m sure Rocky is very useful, he’s probably just as useful as the other breakdown train.

*Edward was so busy thinking about Rocky, that he almost passed a red signal!*

Edward: Oh no! *Puts his brakes on.*

*Edward braked so hard, it caused his pipes to fall all over the track.*

*Then James arrived.*

James: What happened here?

Edward: I braked too hard and my pipes fell onto the track. We should get Rocky.

James: We can’t get Rocky, he’ll just get in the way, we should get Harvey.

Edward: Are you sure?

James: I’m 100% sure.

*James’ crew calls for Harvey. A few minutes later, Harvey arrived.*

Harvey: Wow, that’s a lot of pipes, it will take me a long time to get these back on the truck.

James: Just do what you have to do.

*A few minutes later, Thomas shows up behind James.*

Thomas: What’s going on?

Edward: Harvey’s getting the pipes back onto my train.

Thomas: Wouldn’t it be faster if we used Rocky?

James: We’ve got everything under control, you just need to be patient.

Edward: What if we use the breakdown train?

Thomas: We can't, I saw Percy on the way over here and he's using them.

*Just then, they heard a whistle.*

Thomas: *gasp* That’s Gordon’s whistle!

*Gordon was thundering down the line. Everyone was yelling “stop!!” But it was too late. Gordon had crashed into the pipes.*

Harvey: Oh dear, I’m not strong enough to lift up Gordon.

James: But weren’t you able to lift up Percy?

Harvey: Yes, but he was a tank engine, not a big tender engine.

Edward: That’s it, I’m getting Rocky, he’ll be strong enough to lift Gordon onto the tracks and be able to put the pipes back even faster.

*Edward goes to the docks to get Rocky*

Edward: Come Rocky! It’s an emergency! Gordon has come off the rails!

Rocky: I'm ready. GO GET 'EM, EDWARD!

*Edward couples up to Rocky and heads to the accident. When he got there, Rocky went right to work. Everyone was amazed on how strong he was, even James and Gordon were impressed. Soon, Rocky had gotten all of the pipes back into the train.*

Gordon: Thanks Rocky, I’m sorry I thought you wouldn’t be really useful.

James: Me too, you’re really strong and you got those pipes up really quickly.

Rocky: Thanks guys, and it’s okay, I’m just glad to be really useful.

[lovable-chica]

My Little Pony FiM/Make your Mark Human Au

Twilight

-She’s described to a bit introverted and Rude and didn’t have time to hang out with her old friends until Princess Celestial Sent her to Ponyvile so from that day on She and Her Friends became the guardians of friendship

-Whenever a Pony is feeling down, she can be really supportive and help the pony or person out, Comes to Sodor. With Her Friends to Help-out Thomas and The Other Engines

-Her Hair was originally colored dark purple but wanted to dye it light pink when she became a princess

-Even After Becoming The Ruler of Equestria, Luna and Celestia still stayed to watch how she’s ruling

-Her Besties are Pinkie, Sunny, Misty and Thomas

-British Girl

-Age: 16

Pinkie Pie

-Cotton Candy Hair Gurl of The Group, loves to Work With Percy when on Sodor she often calls him Percy Wercy

-Loves to Make everyone smile even Children/Filles

-Funniest and Cute Person you’ll ever meet, Loves To Greet New Faces Around and will not hesitate to throw a party for you even if you never ask for one

-Australia Girl

-Age: 16

-Favorite Seasons are Spring and Summer

Applejack

-The Cowgirl of the Group

-She sometimes act like the mother of the group and the engines on sodor, close friends with Edward and Toby

-American

-Age: 15

-Has a cute little puppy name Winona(the dog also has a human form) and loves her siblings and grandmother very much

-If you need help, she’ll be there

Rainbow Dash

-Loyal, Smart and a Little Cocky

-She calls Gordon “Big G”

-Best Friends with Abby (Amber’s Sister)

-Age: 15

-Flys Really Fast

-She may look rude, but she has more of a kinder side

Fluttershy

-Used to be Shy when she was younger

-BFFs with Henry and Rebecca

-Loves her animals

-Lives in her cottage with her bunny Angel

-Age: 14

Rarity

-Calls James Jamesy sometimes

-Will Call You Dear or Darling

-Age: 16

-Scottish

-lives not far from Twilight

Note: Happy April Fools Day Everyone!

[bruhstation]

the dreamfish and the caulerpa prolifera

Kind of funny that an accident is all it takes for Gordon to realize how different things really are now.

CW: dereality, hallucinations, body horror, talks about death

--------------------------------------------

December 13th, 1995.

2:11 am.

Gordon sits alone in the hospital room by an occupied hospital bed, head hung low, eyes still fixated on the patient in front of him. The strong scent of disinfectant and antiseptics flood his sense of smell to the point where he’s grown accustomed to them. At the moment, his only company besides the brown-haired man resting on the bed that remains unstatic is the overwhelming slow beeping from the heart monitor standing tall beside the bed.

Gordon picks on the hangnails sticking out of the edges of his nails. If he’s not trying desperately to ground himself in reality right now by occupying his brain with meddlesome, mundane activies, he would’ve thought that the room is stretching in and out, and the monitor is looming over him, mocking him for not being able to change this situation he couldn’t control in the first place.

It’s been 2 days since he asked to take his leave from work. It’s also been 2 days since the last time he went home, combed his hair properly, changed his clothes, fixed his tie, buttoned his suit, wore his big cape, and got a decent good night’s sleep.

What a repulsive, loathsome situation he’s gotten himself in.

Gordon’s not the one lying motionless on the bed, so why does he feel incredibly sick?

He lifts his head to look at the man resting in front of him. His brows furrow on instinct.

Even after the days that passed, Henry still looks absolutely horrible. Covered head to toe in bandages and plasters (around his forehead, around his arms, around his neck, on his cheeks, most like in every inch of his body dear god), ventilator over his mouth, IV lines of various kinds sickeningly decorating his scarred right arm… such an unflattering, horrific sight. It’s like he’s trying to hang onto any semblance of life left for him, his chest going up and down ever so slightly. It’s dreadful, and Gordon hates it.

He hates how different Henry is now. He still refused to believe that the person injured in front of him is Henry Stanier, the driver of the NWR 3, who always complained about the smallest things yet still gets the job done, who loves talking endlessly about the many types of succulent and how to treat them properly, who’s been the most familiar man to him aside from Edward in his years in Sodor.

At least some things still remain.

His long, unruly brown hair that's usually tied back with a red tie is now splayed all over the teal pillow and bed (Edward made sure to lift the strands that stuck to his back out of the way), his dark eyes are closed shut, his hands, his nose, his mouth, his ears, they’re all still there. Still there. Even though Henry’s scratched here and there

What’s taking Edward so long? It’s been 10 minutes. The corners of the room is starting to darken and the tiles beneath him are slowly moving and

So Gordon decides to do something he’s always been good at.

Speak.

“You might be wondering,” Gordon starts, his voice understandably hoarse, “why my clothes are a mess. I’ve, uh, I haven’t gotten the time to go home and properly fix them.”

Silence, sans the beeping from the machines.

“My suit? It’s making me uneasy and uncomfortable. I’ve thought of forcing myself to wear them because folding it is troublesome, but Edward kept insisting I take it off. I think he doesn’t like seeing me uncharacteristically restless. Hmph, so I did. I’ll fold it later.”

Another silence, sans the beeping from the machines.

“Thomas called. James too. Several times, even. It took me seconds to hang up after picking up the calls. Hopefully they don’t think I hate them or anything, otherwise convincing them will be a hassle.”

Yet another silence, sans the beeping from the machines.

Gordon sighs.

“It’s been 2 days, but, it felt like forever.” he says, voice showing some kind of loneliness he’s never expressed before. “I’ve never told you this before, but…”

Gordon scratches the back of his head and sighs.

“It’s awfully lonely without you.”

He pauses, trying to find the right words.

“And…”

I’m sorry. I wish us three can make things better.

“... and I missed hearing you talk. About things. Things you like, things you dislike. It’s kind of lonely not hearing you complain about heavy workloads over at lunch break, or talk about the old lady living at the house across yours who’s not taking care of her plants correctly… or listen to you rant about some bad Indian soap opera with excessive video editing.” Gordon says, his words coming out as if a dam has been destroyed inside his brain. “Edward’s missed you a lot, too. He’s not as cheeky or cheerful as usual.”

He pauses again.

So far, this one sided conversation might be enough to keep him stable. But without anyone to reply back, or someone else’s voice chiming in, it’s not doing very well for his brain.

So Gordon decided to call it quits.

“I’m going to sleep.”

Gordon lifts his head to look at Henry’s face properly–

“See you tomorro–”

–and is immediately greeted with a puzzled face looking back at him.

2:13 am.

…

He smiles.

“I could say the same to you as well.”

It can’t be.

He’s awake.

His eyes are now open – sunken, but still have that characteristic clarity to them – and looking at him with such fondness. Even though he’s not wearing his dark brown button-up, and his red scarf isn’t wrapped around his neck, and he’s not adorning his usual green coat with red outlines, and he’s wrapped in bandages and plasters and a bright blue hospital gown, it’s still Henry. Still his Henry, still Edward’s Henry.

“Good morning.”

Gordon couldn’t bear to look at his face properly. His eyes are glued to his figure, but his brain couldn’t seem to process anything his sight picks up.

Warm arms wrap around him. He’s secure. He’s safe.

Gordon’s eyes well up with unshed tears.

With shaky arms, he hugs back and buries his face on the crook of Henry’s neck.

Finally.

Took the world long enough.

Things can finally come back to the way they used to be. Things will definitely be okay now, and everything will be fine and dandy and absolutely bright and lovely.

Henry can be discharged from the hospital. And he and Edward and Gordon can finally be together again just like they were back in their golden days and things will finally be back to the way Gordon has always wanted it to be and they can do dumb things as a group and they can finally be toge–

“Oh, you poor thing.” Henry cooed.

The arms wrapping around Gordon tightens. Henry harshly pulls him closer. The fingers on his shoulder and side digs themselves further.

It hurts.

Henry?

“What are you without us, Gordon Gresley?”

Wait. This isn’t what’s supposed to happen.

“Henry…?” Gordon says, flabbergasted. “Why would you say that?”

“Are you even going to miss me if I’m gone, Gordon?”

“Of course…?” Gordon answers, a familiar feeling of dread starting to settle in. “Wh-what kind of stupid question is that, Henry?”

Henry’s face contorts into a sickening scowl.

“Liar.”

With that one word alone, Gordon immediately pulls away.

“Liar, liar. You big, boastful, arrogant scum.”

He couldn’t think straight now. He can feel the walls of the room melting around him. He can see the tiles underneath his feet dancing, moving forwards and backwards.

Henry continued his barrage of words.

“Where were you at Polly’s funeral? You didn’t even come, you monster.” he sneered. “What makes you think that you won’t do the same to me when I’m finally 6 feet under?”

3:54 am.

“H…how did you…?”

“I know a lot of things about you, dear Gordon,” he speaks again, the “dear” part coming out laced in poison. “Even though you rarely ever talked about yourself other than your flat accomplishments, people are bound to figure out sooner or later–”

Henry’s hands reach out and cups his face. His thumbs rest on his cheekbones, and he can feel them slowly digging into his skin.

“–especially me.”

The thumbs shift and the sensation of Henry’s cold fingertips is replaced with even colder nails.

5:26 am.

His touch is not comforting in the slightest. The things that usually bring Gordon warmth and comfort is now forcing bile to rise from the depths of his stomach and threatening it to spill out of his mouth.

Gordon feels so, so sick. He hated this indescribable feeling. What’s going on?

Henry?

The blinding sight of steam and nauseating smell of tar engulfed the two of them.

1:34 pm.

“You’re different.” Gordon stammers, his heart beating fast, the terror inside his stomach growing bigger and bigger. “You’re different from all of them. You’re–you’re not Pollyanna, or Marcus, o-or–”

“Yeah, right.” Henry (?) spat. “I’m lower.”

No. No that’s not what I meant, you–

“The words that come out of your mouth are downright abhorrent att times, you know?” he opens his mouth again. “Speaking to you is a chore. An obligatory one, in fact.”

At this point, whatever that thing is barely resembles Henry.

The outlines of his face, his body, his everything is swirling around, horrifically obscuring his face, his shape, his lines and dots. All of his orifices starts to melt and drip, followed by his head – the once-endearing curls of hair are now wilting like leaves on sidewalks – then his body melted like candle wax.

His voice is barely recognizable. Barely comprehensible. It’s garbled and messy and unclear and there’s so many white noises here and there, his ears are ringing, static fills his hearing, there’s insects crawling underneath his skin and over his skin and all over his face and and and a

“Why did I even bother? Why did Edward even bother, after how you easily casted him aside and appointed that annoying, tiresome James as his stopgap?” the barely Henry-shaped thing says with such venom. “His patience is bountiful, Gordon. And you dare be ungrateful for that? For at least having someone to support you and put up with your constant boasting? For us, the people who were there for you while your troublesome siblings are busy dying one by one?”

The heart monitor displayed three flat lines.

?:?? ??.

His heart stopped.

As the screen displays the cold, harsh truth, his voice becomes incredibly clear. All the white noises are gone.

“There you have it.”

Shut up. Please.

“Have fun looking for my replacement, Gresley.”

No, no. No. No, you’ve got it all wrong.

I can never, ever replace you. Or Edward. I’ve never replaced Edward, and I will never ever do that. I can never. James was merely there. I can never replace Edward, or you, or anyone. Anyone but you. Anyone but you should be saying those things to me.

So please.

Why is it so hard for you to understand me?

The figure grows, and elongates, and grows again, as if it’s in the brink of exploding and imploding at the same time, then it looks exactly like Henry and then not and then it barely resembled him but he feels so different and distant and unrecognizable now and and 

Make it stop. It doesn’t make sense anymore. It’s not making sense anymore. Why would you say that? I’m sorry. I already said I’m sorry. Stop. Make it stop. Makeit stop make it stop dosomething someone help help me help do something DO SOMETHI

“Gordon?”

NG SOMEONE WAKE ME U

“Hey, Gordon?”

Gordon wakes up with a jolt. He nearly fell out of his seat. His heart is racing like he just ran a mile, and he is drenched in sweat and terror and a very disgusting sense of horror.

He looks towards the source of sound.

There, Edward stood by the hospital room’s doorway, his right hand holding a cup holder with two drinks and his left hand trying to loosen the scarf around his neck. There’s also a plastic bag hung by his right wrist. His grey hair is disheveled and his eyes are sunken with extremely noticeable bags underneath them. The first few buttons of his black shirt underneath his blue blazer are undone, and so is his red tie. Nevertheless, there’s a smile on his face – however at that point Gordon knows that it’s nothing but a display of reassurement for him despite Edward’s own exhaustion.

Gordon looks at the clock on the wall in front of Henry again.

2:13 am.

Ah.

With half of his body obscured from Edward’s view, Gordon pinches his own arm and moves his legs, the sensation of his sock-covered feet sliding back and forth on the cold hospital floor.

Good. Okay. It’s all good. Edward’s here. Henry’s here. He’s also here.

They’re all together again, just like usual. Just like how they always are.

Or used to.

“You could’ve knocked.” Gordon’s words come out harsher than he wanted them to.

“Sorry, I thought you’re not asleep yet.” Edward says, offering a tired grin.  “I must’ve taken quite a while, huh?”

Edward, it feels like someone grated my brain with sandpaper.

“My head hurts. Really, really bad.” Gordon says, digging the palms of his hands on his eyes.

Do not appear panicked.

His shoulder shakes, and he shifts his arms, trying to hide his absolutely devastated expression.

“I’m not crying, just so you know.” Gordon sniffles, furiously rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. “I’m saying it before you assume outlandish things.”

“Hey, I’ve never mentioned anything of the sort.” Edward chuckles. “You’re a strong man.”

Gordon flinches at Edward’s words.

Of course you’d say that.

Without the expected answer from Gordon, Edward opens his mouth, about to say something, but is then interjected with Gordon. At this point, he knows what he’s going to ask.

“No, Edward. He hasn’t woken up yet.”

“Ah, I see.” Edward replies, seemingly not surprised with Gordon’s answer. “Must be a really wonderful dream, huh? Haha…”

Silence.

“Sorry for making you worry.” Edward gives a thin smile. “You must be hurt and distraught as well… having to see him like this.”

“I could say the same to you as well.” Gordon blurts out.

Edward winces at those words.

Real smooth, Gordon Gresley, he mentally slaps himself. What a way to make him feel better about this situation.

The silence – only broken with the beeps from the machines surrounding Henry – is making Gordon increasingly uncomfortable. He has to do something, say something, before his mind goes blank again and the walls start boiling again and the room starts elongating again.

“You, uh,” he finds his voice, slightly less hoarse from before, “how’s the trip to the supermarket?”

An idle chat. Okay. Good idea for once from him.

“It was nice, I suppose,” Edward says, trying to sound cheerful. “Still really cold outside. Good thing I’ve got Henry’s gift wrapped around my neck, haha. There’s lots of snow too. I think the weather forecast yesterday said that today’s snow is going to be quite thick, yeah?”

Gordon looks out the window. He can see little puffs of white begin to fall from the dark sky.

“It seems so.”

Another silence.

“You bought anything for me?”

Edward’s eyes lit up at the mention of the groceries.

“Definitely! Got your favorite.” he replies, handing out the cup holder towards Gordon. “Coffee. With cream and sugar. The left one.”

Despite his tiredness, Gordon tries to offer his best appreciative smile.

“Why, thank you. You know me well.”

“Of course.” Edward says. “That’s what friends do for each other.”

Friends?

Yeah, Gordon would like that.

“I’ve also bought some food.” Edward says, placing the cup holder on the drawer by the bed. “Just realized we haven’t eaten anything decent in 2 days.”

“Of course you would.” Gordon comments, shifting on his seat. He crosses his legs and puts an arm behind his chair. Sensing a lack of response from Edward, he realized that his words could’ve been interpreted in two ways, and so he decided to quickly clarify.

“I mean, uh, of course you would buy some food. What else did you buy?” He says quickly, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

“Haha, I know. Don’t worry.” Edward chirps, trying to stifle a laugh as he rustles through the plastic bag. “Let me see… cup noodles, Trader Joe’s, some cans of Red Bull, oatmeal bars–”

“Oatmeal bars?” Gordon smirks. “Pah, that’s just so you.”

Edward just laughs softly. 

Good, good. This is just what he needed – an air of comfortable familiarity to ground himself after whatever he just went through. It’s all natural.

“You want one?”

“Nope.

Edward laughs, but not loud enough to deter the man sleeping at the center of the room.

The sound of a hot drink being sipped slowly intertwines itself with the beeping noises of the monitors. Another beat of silence follows after. A bead of sweat trickles down Gordon’s forehead. 

“Can I sit beside you?” Edward says, breaking the silence.

Please.

“Sure.”

And so Edward drags the chair beside the drawer over to Gordon’s side. And there he sat, staring at the man in front of him.

Hey, Edward. Can I ask something?

“Hey, Edward. Can I ask something?”

Edward’s ears perk up. “Sure.” he says.

Do you think it’s possible for us three to… go back to how things used to be?

“Do you have any interesting stories to tell?”

Edward blinks. This isn’t… very uncharacteristic of Gordon. Still, the request came quite out of the blue. There’s something about the creases at the edges of Edward’s eyes that reflect understanding, however.

“Something interesting, hm?” Edward muses, tapping his finger against his chin. “Ah, let me think… what kind of story, Gordon?”

“Any. I don’t really care.”

“Any, you say?” Edward smirks mischeviously. “This is quite a scary one.”

“Oh nooo, nothing’s scarier than the suspense you’re producing by not telling the story.” Gordon rolls his eyes.

Edward laughs again. Gordon tries to hold back a smile.

Good. Great. It’s all becoming more and more familiar. More comfortable. More homely.

“So there’s this one story involving a man and a rocky mountain.” Edward starts. “I couldn’t remember his name to be exact. But he always wore purple overalls and a puffy worker’s cap. He also had a twin.”

“Mhm.”

“He’s very boastful, you see.” Edward leans back on his chair, sipping his hot beverage. “Always getting into trouble with his coworkers. Always trying to prove that his small engine is the fastest, strongest of the whole island.”

“Looks like someone didn’t get his ego checked.”

“Hm, that’s one way to put it.” Edward looks down at the ends of his scarf, idly feeling the sensation of expensive fabric against his fingertips. “He’s just… very proud of himself. And his engine. He kept thinking that his engine has more worth than it actually does. You know, like an… uh…”

“An overzealous mother and her golden child?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I guess so.”

“Except the golden child doesn't have anything to say in the matter, literally instead of metaphorically,” Gordon comments lazily, folding his arms, lying them on the side of Henry’s bed and resting his head on top of them, “because it couldn’t talk.”

“You always have the funniest things to say, Gordon.”

“I know.” Gordon closes his eyes and exhales. “Continue, will you?”

Edward nods.

“One day,” he continued, “he decided to take trucks along a rocky mountain. Despite his colleagues offering him a hand, he declines all of them to prove that his engine, indeed, is the strongest in the whole island. So he was about to make his way down the slopes of the mountain…”

Lulled by Edward’s soothing voice, Gordon drifts off to sleep. His head is facing away from Edward, and the man who’s telling him stories about some unfortunate soul must’ve had to move Gordon’s chair forwards to support his weight.

It’s been a long while since he’s felt this comfortable. Maybe not genuine, maybe won’t last forever, but at least the feeling’s still there.

Hm.

Maybe things won’t go back to how they used to be.

Maybe Edward still secretly holds a grudge against him.

Maybe Henry will never wake up.

But even so, Gordon decides to put those thoughts aside and focus on the presence of Edward and Henry near him. The closest they’ve ever been in a long while, and the closest they’ll probably ever be. A moment that’s most likely temporary, but a very, very desperately welcomed one.

And so that night, Gordon Gresley sleeps a dreamless slumber.

[cuntycassandra]

i'm kinda blind and very interested in history, could you list the authors and titles of the books on the post "Calling out to the AmRev fandom. I need your help." thanks

Hey there, anon! I’d be more then happy to do that for you!

These are the majority of my amrev books, sparing a few tucked away under my bed, and maybe a couple I just missed off the shelf, the majority of them are amrev bios, with a few historical fictions and stories thrown in for good measure.

I’ve tried to priorities them all into certain categories of person/event/time, and they are listed left-to-right below each photo! Hope this helps!

General events:

Founding Fathers (by Captivating History)

The Founding Fortunes (by Tom Shachtman)

The Glorious Cause (by Robert Middlekauff)

Valiant Ambition (by Nathaniel Philbrick)

Redcoats and Rebels (by Christopher Hibbert)

General Events:

(From left to right)

The British are coming (by Rick Atkinson)

Rebels & Redcoats (by Hugh Bicheno)

1776 (by David McCullough)

Scars of independence (by Holger Hoock)

General events/key figures:

American Revolutions - a continental history 1750 - 1804 (By Alan Taylor)

The Drillmaster of Valley Forge - The Baron de Steuben and the making of the American army (by Paul Lockhart)

Revolutionary Characters (by Gordon S. Wood)

George Washington’s secret six - the spy ring that saved the American revolution (by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger)

Key figures (Laurens, Arnold and Hale.):

Duty and Inclination (by Rebecca Dupont)

John Laurens and the American revolution (Gregory D. Massey)

Benedict Arnold (by Robert Zubrin)

The Martyr and the Traitor (by Virginia DeJohn Anderson)

Alexander Hamilton centric:

Alexander Hamilton (by Ron Chernow)

Alexander Hamilton - Adultery and Apology (forwarded by Robert P Watson)

Hamilton and Peggy - a revolutionary friendship (by L.M Elliott)

Hamilton’s choice (by Jack Casey)

George Washington centric:

Washington - A life (by Ron Chernow)

Washington’s Crossing (by David Hackett Fischer)

Adopted Son - Washington, Lafayette and the friendship that saved the revolution (by David A. Clary)

Martha Washington - An American life (by Patricia Brady)

Eliza Schuyler Hamilton Centric:

(The second and third book on this list are supposed to be historical fiction, but just take the accuracies with a grain of salt, if you will)

The Founding Mothers (by Thomas Jacobs)

I, Eliza Hamilton (by Susan Holloway Scott)

My Dear Hamilton (by Stephanie Dray and Laura Kamoie)

Marquis De Lafayette Centric:

Hero of Two Worlds (by Mike Duncan)

Lafayette (by Harlow Giles Unger)

Lafayette comes to America (by Louis R. Gottschalk (this book was a bitch to find in Europe, I tell ya.))

The Marquis - Lafayette reconsidered (by Laura Auriccho)

Political texts:

Common Sense, Rights of Man and other essential writings (by Thomas Paine)

The federalist papers (by John Jay, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton)

The penguin guide to the American constitution (by Richard Beeman)

The Declaration of Independence - with short biographies of its signers. (No designated author.)

Key figures (Hamilton, Adams and Jefferson.):

The Patriots (by Winston Groom)

Hamilton (by Tony Williams)

Thomas Jefferson - the art of power (by John Meacham)

John Adams (by David McCullough)

Aaaand that’s all I have on hand for now, Anon! I sure hope this helped you out! (I’m also blind as hell so I struggle to see authors and titles on photos alone also! So I get you completely!)

[bad4amficideas]

I'm... thE BAT??!!... imagine

Note: English is not my language, so I hope you will be understanding of any flaws you find.

As if was's not weird enough waking up as a newborn baby, waking up as a baby being adopted by Thomas and Martha Wayne because your was-supossed-to-be older brother Bruce died of complications from the birth which left Martha unable to have more children. What the actual fuck people? Actually with the physical blow it was enough to make a baby cry from the shock. There are someones who take their work very seriously.

SO... Congratulations and condolences my dear Reader, you are the new and only one Wayne family treasure.

Timeskip to the alley of pearls (of blood and nacre) and horrors. No, you weren't hallucinating these last few years. Horrible second realization (or third or fourth I lost count if we count that you have reincarnated in a world city full of sociopaths and your new totally lovely and nice parents have just died). Batman, key piece of the dcverse, does not exist! ... or kinda... wAiT must be you?? because you has been assuming their role...

But.. What role is that??? Has anyone stopped to count how many times Batman has been rewritten and reinvented ??? anyone remember anymore Philip Wayne??? Joker is Anonymous or Jerome, Jeremiah or Jack or Arthur... no no, don't you say, now it's Alfred or James Gordon or Lucius, right?

Reader aka you spend the next few years of childhood receiving an elite education (so can fly away they say to themselves) and although have not yet decided whether to own the Bat Signal, being a youngling in Gotham with the corresponding paranoia that creates (hey! even an older couple of ultra famous and rich dudes can get killed in a fucking ALLEY), plus psycopaths likes the Joker and the "It's raining meAliens" times coming over the horizon are good motivators when it comes to training and studying, at least for one OWN life when you're not the natural born genius Bruce Wayne.

Alfred thinks their poor protegee have an overflowing imagination (and he's somewhat, very concerned with their "what if? motivations" Reader thinks their poor second? Third? dad, has luck not knowing half of them are going to actually happen in a decade...)

Skip again, successor of the Wayne family decides to take a year off to "ponder" on what to study in their future (with dad blessing and callings you swear!!)... actually running from the idea of ​​become the Beacon of Hope of Gotham aaaaand or buuuut because run away when Reader is almost ready to take the cape is a -10 Luck stat modifier they just head ending in moar training with The League of Assassins (blame my 4am fantasies with dark! Qui-Gon Jinn) where both father and daughter end up very, very, very obsessed with them, like as with Bruce, they want Reader to stay, but for reasons more... reasons. Fortunately. This reader may not be the Ruler of Detectives. But IT IS the Ruler among Paranoids and the ImageTrope of the CrazyPrepared ones even best fitting that Batman. So at the end Reader got away and puts up enough obstacles so that they cannot run off to follow them.

Also, tangentially Reader thinks if must keep the original alias or maybe something like HeBat/SheBat/TheyBat/FaeBat/BatHuman/BatPerson/Batlord/Batlady/BatLory/BatNoble/LordBat/LadyBat/LoryBat/NobleBat/BatKnight/BatItried so as not to be stepping on names and honor their new fam... like do they have to follow the bat theme? why not a squirrel? is it also like a rat and like someones have somelike wings whatabour BlackWingedSquirrelPerson? FlyingMice? (Reader was in the middle of an anxiety crisis there, excuse them)

At this point Reader has their photo next to the definition of "actor/actress" and "anxiety". Because, oh in Heavens Stan Lee... eeeep, I mean, in Earthlands Scott Snyder, Bob Kane & Bill Finger... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT OF A CIRCUS ACCIDENT WITHOUT SURVIVORS, WHERE IS OUR BIRD. WE READERS COUNT THE TIME. THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED, PLUS THE FU**ING NEWSPAPER SAID TWO WEEKS TO THE CIRCUS GO FOR STAGING IN GOTHAM.

Reader search endlessly for their boy wonder, wonder boy while defeating crime. The antihero form has it somewhat easier than the original Batman, simply because was already prepared for everything and more (ie never had problems with Scarecrow or Poison Ivy because their suit was prepared against them and has kinda antidotes from the beginning)

Sadly they finds sooner a little and starved thug destroying their car (has no heart to call it batmobile) than the future leader of the Teen Titans. So Jason Todd becomes the first Robin. Usual canonical things proceeds excepts... In my 4am fantasy, here Reader actually, YES, they kills the Joker after Jason death and it's Tim Blake who gets them out of the "I fuck it up Bruce-sensei, don't hate me, I fuck canon twice dishonor on me, how, How I could, Dick Bruce, Dick and now there is blood and Jay and..." because this is no time to doubt yourself when the Court of Owls is in action, there are Talons (2 in particular) everywhere and Gotham is messed and scared of their Hope aka Reader btw... (Oh, but Harley is BFF now).

Based on threats and letters, the JL may or may not have been formed, without a Reader who is not Batman and has the training room soundproof to be able to scream their heart free because, people, imagine being them (and not batman).

And timeskip again, same shit in the darkness, antiheroself gets again better light, while in their civilian life Reader works Tim's and more people adoption and tries to encourage his wits and genius while keeping him away from coffee (uhoh thats soda or monster energy? Was that even canon anyway?), everyone's flirts Wayne Enterprises Head (Reader has decided is Tim heirloom because they sucks with such things), hell, even marriage proposals, including the Al Ghul formal proposal to their civilsona! And a certain handsome hotel heir Ric Powers, son of a couple Joseph and Maria Powers (whom Reader is sure should know but refuses -Ric not the Powers-) and as young man who does not stop conforting, stalking and flirting and whatever he can think with them so get their attention (basically zero personal space) although Reader insists they could be their older sibling.

Also Ra's resurrects Jason to use him as a lever against Reader (luckily or not, there was no Red Hood reborn madness here).

And Tim is bringing moar kids, like YeS!?? But, wHy???!! Reader thanks all deities their worst enemy is the Court and they are not a JLA member because Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

And of course, when everything seems to improve and settle... boom! Batfamily from an alternate world (thank God they are not Batman ThatLaughts or BlackSuperman or a yandere or villain version or something like that), someone give Reader vacation, "I'm the Bat, not fucking Batman!" (their mental cachphrase yes so no overwork)

[sodorz]

i am now thinking about a proper spiritfarer au, so enjoy some ramblings(spoilers for spiritfarer + a lot of talk about death + mentions of alcoholism. be warned)

- thomas is dying in the hospital either due to an illness or a fatal train crash. hes almost fully gone and theres no saving him, but hes not ready to move on yet. as a result, he has a vivid dream of himself ferrying the spirits of his departed friends/loved ones so he can find his own peace before passing

- annie, clarabel, and sir topham hatt are alive and by thomas' bedside. they take the place of stella's mother and sister

- lady takes the place of hades. as thomas takes spirits to the everdoor, she appears to soothe him over his inevitable fate/encourages him to continue his mission.

- the first spirit thomas encounters is percy, his childhood best friend who passed away suddenly in a car accident. they had been inseperable in childhood, but started drifting apart as age and responsibilities took their attention elsewhere. thomas always wanted to reconcile with percy, but never got the chance. his nickname for thomas is 'old buddy.'

- the second spirit is gordon, one of thomas' grumpy co-workers whom he was very close to. he died from a rapid onset of liver damage as a result of his heavy drinking after henry passed. thomas saw gordon as a parent figure and frequently sought him for advice. his nickname for thomas is 'ankle biter.'

- the third spirit is henry, gordon's husband and another of thomas' co-workers. he died in the infamous flying kipper crash, leaving a distraught husband and family behind. thomas used to go on fishing trips with henry, and also saw him as a paternal figure. his nickname for thomas is 'sprout.'

- the fourth spirit is james, thomas' uncle. he died after taking a drunken fall from his apartment balcony. he always prided himself in being the 'fun' uncle, bringing thomas treats and toys as a kid and taking him out to get ice cream. he also used to play dress-up with thomas, letting him pick out outfits and jewelry from his wardrobe to try on. his nickname for thomas is 'showstopper.'

- the fifth spirit is edward, a history teacher at thomas' college. they became close after finding a shared love for railroad history, and edward helped to tutor thomas on occasion. he died from pneumonia, as he was too old to fight it off. his nickname for thomas is 'dear student.'

- the sixth spirit is toby, an old family friend. he died after getting trampled by an escaped, ornery bull while doing work on his farm. thomas would visit toby's farm often, and toby would either sneak him treats or let him help collect eggs and milk cows. henrietta, toby's wife, would bake cookies as a payment for all of thomas' hard work. thomas and percy used to play in the small orchard next to the farm and eat the apples there. his nickname for thomas is 'greenhorn.'

- the seventh spirit is montague, one of thomas' older cousins. he drowned in a flash flood while trying to rescue his husband, donald. he worked on a different railway before moving to thomas', and they became closer as they worked together often. he picked up the nickname 'duck' from his walking gait, which looked like a waddle. his nickname for thomas is 'little blue.'

- the eighth and ninth spirits are donald and douglas--donald was duck's husband, and douglas was his twin brother. the two both died on the same day; one of old age, the other of a broken heart. thomas didn't know them very well, aside from the occasional meeting when he was with duck. donald was the more wisecracking of the two, while douglas was slightly more serious. douglas often talked of his own husband oliver, who had passed away suddenly from cancer--thomas had never met him in person. they both call thomas 'wee steamie.'

- oliver takes the role of buck--a spirit who has already passed on, and is there mainly to keep thomas company as he nears the end of his journey. he takes the form of a phoenix and his spirit flower is a hyacinth. he's supportive and caring, and acts exactly like how douglas described him, even if thats not how he actually was in life. he calls thomas 'kiddo.'

[decennia]

since your tags made my brain go !!! i feel like i’d officially ask, atticus and lorna crossover thoughts? 👀

OMFG OKAY HERE WE GOOOOO

THE BATMAN

lorna was first sent to arkham at a young age, thomas wayne playing a very direct role in her being committed. her violent outbursts needed to be treated, and his soft spot was borne of martha's own history with mental instability.

but prior to that, i can very much imagine lorna being incredibly protective of atticus. she's that undying loyalty kinda girl.

defending him to bruce and berating him for his mean words whenever atticus came up in conversation, being the one to teach atticus how to tie his shoelaces, always inviting him to join them when they went off to play much to bruce's chagrin

also getting atticus having an unrequited one-sided crush vibes, but that's just me. lorna only ever saw him as a younger brother, though.

strained reconnect with bruce once she gets out of arkham the first time, so she ends up being closer to atticus.

and then comes the inciting incident that winds her back in those cursed halls: lorna signs a falsified confession, taking the fall for savannah brightly's (@stanshollaand) crime. she'd been to arkham before and knew she'd survive it, and her parents were powerful; they could make the scandal vanish with the right donations into the right pockets. with her history of violence and instability, the court had no reason to not believe her.

atticus likely is the only one who wasn't so ready to believe it (not counting the detective on the case, one jim gordon).

which would likely add more contention between the wayne brothers, as bruce began to distance himself from lorna. the alternative was much worse; if it wasn't lorna, then the only other suspect was savannah, and bruce'd rather lose lorna than sav.

atticus knew lorna through and through, and in spite of all his efforts to wring the truth from her stubborn lips, she kept to her story, practiced and perfected to account for every second of the murder.

atticus called her every day in arkham. and although lorna distanced herself from others, she was sure to always pick up the phone if atticus was on the other side.

and then the calls stopped; leaving lorna devastated.

she didn't know, though; that he'd been sent to blackgate. she just assumed he'd done what everyone had always done, and abandoned her.

and that made her angry.

it's actually alfred that gets them to talk to each other. with bruce dodging her calls, alfred persuades atticus to ring her up in his place.

which is, of course, history repeating itself; first, he had to run the company for bruce, and now he was bruce's private secretary, returning calls for him?

she actually doesn't answer.

them running into each other at the iceberg lounge was complete coincidence.

lorna needed a drink after the whole funeral neck-bomb fiasco, and found herself stumbling into the gotham underground.

she didn't recognise him at first.

lorna had tried to leave when it finally registered that she was in the presence of atticus wayne, but he caught up to her easily enough.

she let him explain himself, and when he did, the guilt of icing him out hit her harder than the bomb around colson's neck had.

their hour long catch-up naturally stumbled upon the topic of batman, and lorna's unpopular opinion was finally agreed upon by atticus (after all, bruce said it himself: crime is up in the last two years since he'd first took to the streets).

atticus and lorna actually being besties in this universe is something that i hold near and dear to my heart.

though i can't speak much for their future, considering lorna is the number one enforcer of gotham being under martial law and stands directly against the penguin's claim to falcone's recently vacated throne.

i feel like there is a lot of angst when they find themselves on opposite sides of the new gotham.

also for the sequel atticus being a guest at lorna's unwilling wedding to tommy elliot (if he arrives). i also wonder how atticus would react to cannonade if he ever encountered her?

GOTHAM

atticus would take the place of thomas wayne's involvment in lorna being sent to arkham.

she's like a niece to him :')

he was the detective working her case, and although it was pretty open and shut, he pulled some strings to get her leniency in the court of law.

under his guidance, she pled insanity, to prevent a much more sinister consequence.

he has a soft spot for her, and this would likely blind him to her cannonade persona.

angst-ridden scenario where he is also the one investigating her second murder?

i don't know much about atticus in the dark knight trilogy, but i feel like their dynamic echoes through all universes, much like lorna and bruce's 🥲

[openheart12]

Heal

A/N: Set during The Conjuring 3. Also contains dialogue from the movie.

Summary: Lorraine is by Ed’s side throughout his entire time at the hospital.

WC: 2,830

It had been hours since Ed had been taken to the hospital after the exorcism at the Glatzels where he had been gasping for air on the floor, his pulse weak and barely there. 

The waiting was torturous for Lorraine, concern and fear had taken over her entire body. She barely acknowledged Judy when she arrived, not even knowing she had been called. She assumed it was Father Gordon who made the call, but she was grateful. Her daughter was the only other person who could comfort her besides Ed. 

The three of them sat on one of the hospital benches, it was cold and hard and left Lorraine’s back aching. She was trying to be strong, for herself, for Judy, for her husband. Almost thirty years of history was replaying in her head. She both welcomed and hated the memories. 

They reminded her of what she had and what she might be losing. 

She unconsciously played with the rosary wrapped around her hand as she prayed for Ed’s health and safety. She’d plead with the devil himself if that’s what it took. 

“Mrs. Warren,” the doctor called as Lorraine shot to her feet. “He’s stabilized. We’re gonna transfer him to the coronary unit.”

“So, it was a heart attack?” Father Gordon asked the dreaded question. 

“Yes,” the doctor confirmed. “And not a minor one, I’m afraid.” Lorraine’s shoulders visibly sagged. Oh what she wouldn’t give to trade places with him right now. 

“Can we see him now?” Judy asked.

“Not yet. We’re gonna put a stent into his artery, try to get blood flowing back to his heart.”

Lorraine had been quiet, taking in the information about her husband intently, trying to hold her tears at bay. Exhaling, she tried to steady her voice before asking, “so, is he gonna be alright?”

“We’re gonna need to run a few more tests before I’m comfortable answering that. I’m sorry,” the doctor said before leaving. 

Lorraine turned to Judy who had tears in her eyes and pulled her in for a hug, taking comfort in her.

“It’s okay, mom,” she whispered, hoping that it would be. Judy knew this would absolutely destroy her mother, if he wasn’t okay, especially since she was there when it had happened and would no doubt blame herself. 

Lorraine held onto her tightly as tears silently streamed down her face until she abruptly pulled back, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve. 

“I need… I have… I’ll be right back,” she stammered, running off to the nearest bathroom she could find, emptying the contents of her stomach in the toilet. 

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. He was alive. He was breathing and she couldn’t ask for much more, but seeing him laying on that floor, it replayed through her head. If she had gotten to him sooner maybe there was something she could’ve done. The what ifs were just as bad as the memories haunting her. 

She splashed some water on her face, begging her mind to just stop. Stop thinking, stop churning. She headed back out to the waiting area where she found Judy waiting for her who told her that Father Gordon had to leave but he would be back to check on him. She took a seat beside her daughter who laid her head on her shoulder and Lorraine grabbed her hand, squeezing it in support. 

When they were finally able to go back to Ed’s room, her breath hitched upon seeing him lying there in the hospital bed, different tubes and wires connected to him. The color had returned to his face, but he still looked weak. 

She stood in the doorway, taking in the sight of him for a few minutes. She was afraid to get close to him at first, in fear that this was some cruel dream and when she’d wake up, he wouldn’t be there anymore. Tentatively, she made her way towards him and placed a kiss to his forehead as she grabbed his hand, rubbing small circles on his skin. She sat down in the chair beside the bed and just watched the rhythmic fall and rise of his chest. 

Judy watched her mom, noting how tense and afraid she looked. Ever since she was a little girl, she always watched her parents. She saw the love and adoration they had for each other and the different ways they showed it. She grew up in a house full of love, she was always surrounded by love; the love her parents had for her and each other. She couldn’t remember a time where they even so much as argued, at least not in front of her, and it made her want a relationship just like theirs.

It was remarkable really, the amount of love and happiness that was in the Warren household considering what her parents did as a living, where they were constantly surrounded by horrible things, but they always managed to keep it out of their lives at home. 

And right now, it had never been more clear to see the love her mom had for her dad and it was evident in her actions since he had been admitted. But Judy could see the toll it was taking on her, she was exhausted and the bags under her eyes were already beginning to worsen. 

“I’m going to get some coffee, do you want some?” She asked softly.

“No, I’m good, thank you,” Lorraine smiled half-heartedly. 

After Judy left, Lorraine turned her attention back to her husband. Her eyes began to grow heavy and she decided to close them for a few minutes, resting her head on the bottom half of his legs as sleep overtook her exhausted body.

Judy came back to the room to find Lorraine fast asleep and decided to head to the house to pick up a few things, asking the nurses to call if anything happened while she was gone before leaving. 

An hour passed when Lorraine was woken up by a knock on the door and she turned to see Father Gordon walk into the room.

“It was nice seeing Judy again. Will she be staying long?”

“I don’t know, um, it depends if…” she trailed off, looking at Ed.

“The nurse says that you have been sleeping in that chair. Ed would understand if you went home for a little while.”

“Did I ever tell you the story of how we met?” She asked, changing the topic away from her. 

“No, I don’t think so. Just that you were young. In high school, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah,” she said smiling, “we were seventeen. I went out with my girlfriends and he was an usher at the movie theater that we went to. Afterwards, we went out for ice cream. He took me out to the park, but then it started to rain. And we stood under the gazebo until it stopped. That was thirty years ago. I could go back to the house, Father, but my home is here with him.”

Father extended her stay to about thirty more minutes, making light conversation with Lorraine as she talked about memories that were so near and dear to her heart and her spirits were raised a little bit. But when he left and she was alone with Ed again, her mind started to spin again. She was grateful for the time she had to herself, just being in his presence brought about a peace within her storming head. 

Judy made her return a few minutes later, she had gone by the house earlier to pick up some clothes for both Ed and Lorraine and some toiletries they might need with his stay in the hospital, however long it was going to be. 

The two of them sat in silence while each holding one of his hands, Lorraine didn’t even remember falling asleep until she heard her name being called multiple times. 

“Lorraine. Lorraine. Lorraine,” she heard someone calling her voice weakly, waking her from her slumber. 

“Daddy!” Judy called out, jolting Lorraine from her seat as Judy pressed the button to alert the hospital staff. 

“Oh, Ed, thank God.” She cupped his face in her hands, stroking his cheek gently.

“Lorraine,” he tried again, “you have to call the Glatzels.”

“She just called, you’re fine-”

“The Glatzels. We have to warn them, it’s got the kid.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s over. David is safe, the demon is gone.”

“Arne. It’s got Arne!” He said as her eyes widened in realization. 

Lorraine went to the first phone she could find, dialing the local police. “This is Officer Thomas,” someone answered. “My name is Lorraine Warren. I know how this is going to sound, but there’s going to be a tragedy at the Brookfield Boarding Kennels.”

All they could do now was wait. Ed was in no position to handle this case right now and Lorraine wasn’t going to leave his side when he needed her the most. 

When she walked back into his room, the doctor was in there checking him out and going over some medications he wanted Ed to take, starting with nitroglycerin, a type of vasodilator to help with increasing the blood and oxygen supply to his heart. The doctor left after saying he would send the prescription to be filled and they could pick it up in a couple hours. 

“How are you feeling, hon?” She asked, moving to sit on the edge of his bed.

“Tired,” he replied as he yawned. “What did the police say?”

“They’re going to send a car over there to check it out.”  

“That’s not sufficient,” he argued.

“It’s out of our hands now, Ed. You need to rest.” He took a few deep, calming breaths before letting out another yawn. She leaned over and planted a kiss on his forehead before starting to stand up when he reached out and grabbed her hand, stilling her movement. She raised her brow, asking a silent question.

“There’s enough room for both of us,” he said slyly, moving over to make room for her as he patted the now vacant space next to him. 

“Ed,” she laughed, “I am not sleeping with you.” 

“Please,” he insisted, tugging her arm so that she was closer. “I don’t bite… unless you’re into that.”

“Ed!” She laughed, swatting his arm playfully. 

“Come on, I’m tired and I can’t sleep without you. Remember our ‘never sleeping apart’ promise?”

“You’re impossible,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully before relenting and climbing into the bed next to him. He wrapped one arm behind her back, resting on her waist as his other rested on his chest. She nuzzled into his side, placing one hand across his chest over his heart so she could feel his heartbeat. 

“Love you,” he whispered, kissing her temple before drifting off to sleep. 

“I love you,” she whispered back, relishing in the feel of his arms around her, something she feared wouldn’t be possible again. 

She was awoken an hour later by the nurse who said she had a phone call. She carefully slid out of Ed’s embrace, trying not to wake him and made her way to the nurses station where she picked up the phone, “hello?” She answered. 

“Lorraine, it’s Father Newman. Arne is being brought to the prison, he killed someone and I need you and Ed here as soon as possible.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible, Father. Ed had a heart attack and he’s in the hospital. The doctor said he needs to take it easy so we might have to take a step back from this case,” Lorraine explained, feeling guilty. 

“I understand, but maybe even if you could just come and talk to Arne, see if he was possessed or not would be extremely helpful.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said before hanging up the phone with a sigh. She wanted to help Arne, but with Ed’s health, she didn’t think it would be possible. She headed back to his room where she found him awake and seemingly waiting for her.

“Where’d you go?” He asked.

“Father Newman called, he said that Arne murdered someone and they need to find out if he was possessed when he did it, but I told him we might have to stop working on the case until you’re better.”

“We can’t do that, Lorraine. It’ll be too late by then.”

“Then it’ll be too late. You’re in no position to be working on a case right now anyways. The doctor said you need to rest and you don’t need to put any extra stress on your body which is exactly what taking on this case would be doing.”

“But-”

She cut him off, “no, Ed. I’ll go to the prison in a little while to check on him myself, but I’m not risking your health.”

“Lorraine, he needs our help,” he said, slightly raising his voice. 

“No.” 

“We promised to help the family and we don’t break promises,” he tried reasoning with her.

“No.” She said, her answer remaining the same.

“Dammit, Lorraine, will you stop being selfish for a minute and think of what this poor boy is going through,” he said harshly, instantly regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. He didn’t mean them, he was angry and frustrated at the situation at hand, but he didn’t mean to take it out on her. 

“You could’ve died!” She shouted, her voice breaking. She turned her back to him, wrapping her arms around herself as tears slid down her cheeks at a rapid pace. She had never cried so much in one day before and she hated it. 

He had no doubt she had sat by his side the entire time he was in the hospital, she was there as soon as he woke up and guilt was already eating away at him. He could only imagine how scared she must’ve been, he remembered seeing the fear in her eyes as he laid on the ground earlier and she was probably exhausted, much like he was already. 

“I’m sorry, hon, I didn’t mean that,” he apologized. “Lorraine… look at me, please. I’m sorry,” he repeated, making an effort to get out of the bed to go to her. 

“Do-don’t get out of bed,” her trembling voice said. She sniffed a few times, cleared her throat and turned around towards him and the sight that met him made a lump rise in his throat. Her eyes were red and swollen with tear stains across her cheeks and her hair was coming out of the bun it had been in. 

She looked like she’d been to hell and back and he assumed that’s how she felt. He knew that’s how she felt and then he had to go and call her selfish after not doing anything to him. He felt like a complete asshole. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he repeated as his own tears filled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it,” he promised. 

“I’m just worried about you,” she said quietly.

“I know, sweetheart and I’m sorry for what I said.” He held out his shaking hand to her which she took and he pulled her close so she was standing next to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, looking into his eyes and she could see the remorse and it made her heart ache for him. She knew he didn’t mean it. 

“We’ll help him,” she said eventually.

“No, we don’t ha-”

“No, Ed, you were right. We made a promise and we don’t break them. But I’m not willing to let you put your health at risk either so you have to take it as easy as possible and you have to take the pills the doctor gave you.”

“I will, I promise.” 

“You will be staying here for the night though, no debating.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said with a small smile. He’d do anything for her and this was the least he could do after what he said. “I won’t even complain about the hospital food,” he said laughing.

“It’s not much better than when you cook at home,” she teased lightly.

“You’re gonna give me another heart attack,” he said, feigning hurt as he placed his hand across his chest. 

Laughing, she laid down next to him. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Trust me, I know. I love you so much,” he said, turning to lay on his side as he placed his arm across her abdomen, pulling her closer by her waist. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he added.

“You’d probably starve to death,” she smiled against his neck, trying to conceal her laugh.

“Very funny,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

“It’s a good thing we won’t have to find out.”

“Indeed,” he agreed with a smile as they both laid in the bed, content with each other’s company and soaking in their time together. 

[sob-dylan]

ranking of bcs season 5 episodes based on how sexy i found them

10. Namaste dir. & writ. Gordon Smith

good ep, not sexy. jimmy commits his first hate crime against the dandy howard hamlin. hostile work environment at los pollos. the return of the uncomfortably stereotypical thugs that beat up mike. very let down because gordon smith has written some of bcs’s sexiest episodes in past seasons, including gloves off, chicanery, & something beautiful. the car chase intercut with lyle cleaning the fryer was pretty sexy tho. 2/10

9. Dedicado a Max dir. Jim McKay, writ. Heather Marion

this ep ranks so low because of what it could have been. was expecting it to be the sexiest episode, but was given very little of what was promised. the fountain was sexy, scheming kim was sexy, any invocation of revenge is sexy. that’s about it. 2.5/10

8. Wexler v. Goodman dir. Michael Morris, writ. Thomas Schnauz

first we’ve seen of nacho in a long time, but as usual it’s not nearly enough. he is reunited with mike, giving him the opportunity to play a bargaining chip for the first time in two seasons, which is sexy of him, but also reminded me of the how little he’s done since he became fring’s dog. nacho being underutilized is not sexy. (i could go on a whole rant about the poker chip we’ve seen nacho fiddling with a few times during different collection scenes, but i don’t think i quite understand it enough). kim suffers the worst day of her professional career because jimmy decided he knew what she wanted instead of listening to her. not sexy. lalo getting arrested was, of course, very sexy. 4/10

7. Magic Man directed by Bronwen Hughes, written by Peter Gould

sexy episode, but it all rests on the shoulders of lalo, nacho, & gus (+ a very timid domingo-- i’m into that). the mcwexler stuff just made me sad. lalo’s lounging in el michoacáno with his blue loafers kicked up? much appreciated. lalo and nacho constantly calling each other “man”? nice! the sit down between lalo and gus was very sexy, but the sexiest part of this episode for me was the trap house, especially the beginning sequence. loved the scene starting from inside the car with some great tunes, the camera following the meth down the drainpipe, lalo’s erratic driving and his refusal to acknowledge arlo, the power that nacho has demonstrated by arlo shutting up when he gets out of the car, the slightly shaky camera work in this moment, nacho leaping up those stairs and then pounding on the door before gently telling mouse it’s okay. all incredibly sexy! 6/10

6. JMM dir. Melissa Bernstein, writ. Alison Tatlock

pretty fucking sexy for production legend melissa bernstein’s directorial debut.  not only is it the first bit of substantial lalo content in a while, it’s the debut of jorge de guzman! the shot of him from the shoulders down with the focus on his tattoo? sneaking a phone in so he can tell nacho to burn down los pollos? the arson itself? very, very sexy. vague allusions to what went down in santiago? frustrating, but sexy. kim and jimmy consummating the most ill-advised marriage ever authorized by the state of new mexico? sexy, (especially kim’s hair). lydia rodarte-quayle! “shanked and shivved and whatnot.” that was a very sexy suggestion, lydia, keep ‘em coming! 7/10

5. Bagman dir. Vince Gilligan, writ. Gordon Smith

vince gilligan’s triumphant and very sexy return. the shoot out! the time lapse of the clouds while jimmy and mike walk along at a normal speed! “my wife” & “mrs. goodman!” and of course, the sexiest thing of all, the meeting between kim and lalo. gordon smith redeemed himself with this one. despite the piss-drinking, a very sexy episode indeed. 7.8/10

4. The Guy For This dir. Michael Morris, writ. Ann Cherkis 

a very, very sexy ep! a swarm of ants set to yodeling isn’t in itself sexy, but i respect the symbolism and the bold creative choice. but then! the garage scene! imo this was the sexiest scene of the season. everything from the blocking to the lighting, not to mention the Acting. i’ve rewatched that scene many, many times. other sexy things about this episode: kim yelling at acker, kim opening up, nacho’s lounging-at-home-watching-soccer outfit, amber & jo, the one genuine smile nacho has all season (at the beginning of a devastating conversation with his father), lalo making jimmy and nacho watch him drive his car, “you’ll make time!”, nacho’s signature car-leaning, & “once you’re in, you’re in.” 8/10

3. 50% Off dir. Norberto Barba, writ. Alison Tatlock

look: i can admit that this hole ranking system is heavily dependent on how much nacho & lalo there was in an episode. this episode started with a home invasion at casa de varga so that gus could intimidate nacho in his underwear and ended with nacho rolling up on jimmy and then making him drop his mint chip in the street. and in between? the poker game. the birth of ocho loco/krazy-8. THE PARKOUR. “ignacio varga, eres un chingon.” the small expression of pride on nacho’s face when lalo says “it’s your call.” nacho finally accepting food from lalo, only to find it’s a trap! lalo using his own brand of the lie detector to make nacho offer to kill his oldest friend. dear god! this ep marked the explosion of the eduardo “lalo” salamanca/ignacio “nacho” varga tag on ao3. it’s an inspiring kind of sexiness. mike’s story was compelling, but a boner-killer. 8.9/10

2.  Bad Choice Road dir. & writ. Thomas Schnauz

ah! the something stupid callback! jimmy falling to his knees when he finally gets a signal! kim crying! jimmy’s trauma! the godfather reference with the oranges! (and no, i didn’t pull that out of my ass. peter gould mentioned it on the podcast) the care-taking, despite kim having every right to be furious with jimmy! the tender and heartbroken look on lalo’s face when he leaves the nursing home! lalo impatiently ordering his new chauffeur nacho around! the way lalo stands when nacho drops him off at the well! how happy nacho is to finally be rid of lalo for just 3 seconds before lalo gets back in the car! the lalo leap! the final scene! rhea claiming her emmy! but ultimately what’s so sexy about this ep is how well it encapsulated the ethos of the show. i’m still salty about the dinner party (???) with lalo, nacho, and nacho’s girlfriends getting cut, tho. 9/10

1. Something Unforgivable dir. Peter Gould, writ. Peter Gould & Ariel Levine

i don’t consider it the best episode of the season (that would be bagman), nor is it my favorite (that would be 50% off), but imo it is the sexiest episode of bcs yet. slippin’ kimmy! the finger guns! the kansas city royals shirt! kim laughing in howard’s face! the post-coital mcwexler scheming! and of course every single scene in mexico! nacho’s forced smiles! lalo’s unmitigated excitement at returning home! “nachito!” lalo’s despicable but still somehow sexy attitude toward that poor kid ciro! the scene where he’s fixing the car! lalo’s praise of nacho! lalo being the life of the party! everyone adoring him expect for juan bolsa! lalo’s party shirt! nacho’s tough but respectful chain-over-a-fully-buttoned-shirt-cause-it’s-time-to-meet-the-don look! nacho spelling out exactly what he wants! lalo closely watching nacho and don eladio! the intimate, late-night fireside conversation! the beautiful emotional asymmetry of that scene! a man who is finally ready to allow himself to trust someone choosing the wrong person! (in other words: lalo lowkey trying to get laid while nacho’s actively trying to facilitate his assassination!) nacho being the resourceful little bitch we all love! lalo immediately blaming poor ciro! (seriously, what is the story there??) the frying pan! the fucking tunnel! lalo kneeling over that dying hitman, peeling off the mask that’s melted to his face, and gently telling him “esta bien” ! lalo limping out of his estate with murder in his eyes, ready to hunt down the only man not carrying the Salamanca name he’s ever trusted! if this ep had included nacho regaining a shred of agency over his situation, it could have a perfect score. 9.9/10