#Along with coming up with designs and stories to revolve around them lol

[tofuless]

The issue with constantly being a massive fan of different Mythologies is the temptation to create your own lil mythos for fun but struggling to figure out how to start it or what sort of culture to base it around

[kyogre-blue]

Yanqing was my first and I love him to pieces but the lack of Welt Yang is starting to grate at me. One away from having full express crew... good luck and godspeed with your Hot Men pursuit, some of them are insufferable.

As someone who hateeees Liyue I expected to hate Xianzhou, but to my surprise I actually love the setup. It helps that their history is very relevant and actually comes up in the main quest, like - ages ago, they did a Masterful Fuckup, and their whole society now revolves around dealing with the fallout. It was nice, after Liyue's vageposting history and beliefs in market economy, where their gods are hilariously irrelevant to their daily life, to be able to say "ah, *this* is what these people believe and fight for". Helps that the aeons are npcs and as such Allowed to be fucked up, so both sides in the abundance vs the hunt fight have their points. And I find the subversion on wuxia tropes neat.

I share the "I wish I could skip this" sentiment though, the main quest was absolutely horrible.

I also find who Dan Feng was as a person and Dan Heng's feelings abt him as his reincarnation super interesting but like. So far the vidyadhara have by far the weakest story out of the xianzhou races (jiaoqiu HARD CARRIED the foxians there) and I know better than to expect anything. Finest Duel Under The Pristine Blue was a pleasant surprise, but Luminary Wardance was tedious as all hell and rife with missed opportunities (as much as I loved Yanqing throwing hands lol)

Out of all the minor quests you've triggered, have you done any of them? I think you'll like Arlan and Asta's companion quest :)

I haven't done any companion quests because I expect them to be longer, and tbh I am not planning to pay any attention. I do not care about the... vast majority of the characters, and I particularly feel like it's going to be a whole lot of minutia about their daily lives and/or irrelevant backstory. Which I don't really care to engage with.

On a basic level, I think that once you relegate things to "companion quest," that means this content is not important or interesting enough to be main story. It's a little bonus for people who care about these characters because they like them from the main story or like their designs. Since I don't care about the space station at all, I don't plan to read anything from these quests. Just like Genshin, I will set it to auto and do something else.

This sounds very mean, but Mihoyo destroyed any basic goodwill from me long, long ago.

In regard to Liyue and Luofu, I personally have a lot of... let's say reservation about anything that focuses on immortal or long lived characters. Once you make a character stick around for hundreds of years AND you love your lore, it's not a good combination. It gets convoluted fast, and you have to spend a lot of time very carefully maneuvering around why this character didn't deal with all the problems of modern day back in the past already. The easy answer is they couldn't, but if you want these characters to also be so totally cool for sure, it doesn't work out well. (Like wardance. Jing Yuan totally knew about Belobog's issues in the past but like, he was just too busy to do anything, but have a picture of him totally getting along with Igor.)

Additionally, I do not believe Mihoyo writers are capable of writing any kind of actual complexity in morals or viewpoints between characters.

And for every character that has a grain of interesting concept, they are surrounded by at least a dozen terribly executed ideas, so like... that's just not worth it.

[toskarin]

A while back I feel like you mentioned an RPG that offered a villainous route that went full tilt and really delivered... to the point where most people felt bad about playing it.

I'm curious, how would you design an evil/villainous story that feels good to play while being unquestionably evil?

this ended up being rambly so it's below a break to save your dash

I think a big part of villain routes that a lot of games slip up on is assuming that the average player can act in self interest without reverting to a metagame mindset, because what actually encourages people to be selfishly villainous tends to play out in the long term, and games with structured stories can just be walked away from

in other words, a lot of the issue comes down to something inherent to interactive narratives: when the easiest path forward is checking out, your player will almost always check out. a nihilistic villain arc rarely works if you want emotional investment from the player, because a nihilistic player is going to check out

this means that, in my opinion, a good villain route that makes you feel bad usually falls into one of two categories:

"I know I am no longer fighting for the greater good or the many, but I like this character enough to want to work in their interest specifically"

"everyone but me is wrong and I, personally, could fix everything if I just had their cooperation. even if I have to force it"

but there's an interesting exception to this that you mentioned in the ask: Tyranny, up until the end (lol), manages to be a game about committing lesser-and-greater evils. through making it clear how much worse noncompliance or indecision could make things, Tyranny nudges the player towards doing objectively awful things on purpose. and it makes them feel bad!

now, to make a villain route that feels good to play, we could just expect the player to check out and make a game that revolves around simply fighting the forces of good (see: Overlord) and making them annoying, but I'd argue that even that feels out of spirit. at that point, you're just looking for snarky ways to dress up the same old villain and hero roles in different colours

so what then? well, to get a villain route that feels good to play, I'd personally revisit those two aforementioned categories. the second one was actually handled pretty well in Wrath of the Righteous and there are shades of the first in Heaven's Feel. why did they work without making the player feel like complete shit?

corruption

there's almost nobody whose moral code aligns automatically with "villainous" acts, so you have to ease a player into accepting them from a baseline. you've gotta go from good intentions, ignorance, denial, justification, and then finally land on that nihilism that was so impossible to kindle safely until that point. give the player something logical and moral to pursue, then just something logical, then just something emotional, and then ride emotion to the end

it's a fine line to tread and you run the risk of coward's pitfalls along the way (making the "good" characters villainous to justify the player acting against them being a common one), but I'd definitely go about it that way. corrupting the player is very rewarding on an emotional payoff level!

[fuckentoastybitch]

My VN List!

I'm listing them according to ones I've played and ones I plan to play (as well as brief notes about either my opinion on the game or why I'm interested in them, formatted like this.)

This is for my own personal collection tbh, I just need to put them all in one place.

A. Have played:

The Arcana. Played since I was 16, all time favourite and Julian is my husband. This game shaped my interest for fantasy settings and magic. BUT! As a long time fan I must warn new players that trying to get the full experience for this game is difficult because of its coin system. The only reason I manage to keep playing for years is because I literally take a year's worth of breaks in between routes and logged in every. Single. Day. to collect coins and keys. It's literally been 6 years and I still haven't 100% the game yet cause I simply didn't have that kind of energy and time to do that anymore, but I still love the characters very deeply till now.

Blooming Panic. Second all time fave. Fell for Quest first, fell for Toasty hardest, for some reason is obsessed with xyx. I've revolved my entire personality around BP since 2023.

ERROR 143. Fun! Micah is technically not my type but I really like the general aesthetic and humor of the game. Iirc there are still more content to come to the game so I am very excitedly and patiently waiting.

3 Seasons. This was short and sweet. I think what I liked the most about this was the unique character designs, especially Rye and Briar's. I heard the dev's are working on more content on the current LI's + Briar's route, I'm really excited for those.

Our Life: Beginning & Always. Our life was INCREDIBLE, to put it simply. The entire game and story was very well thought out that it even made me reflect on my own life at each phase along the game. It gave me a really strong sense of nostalgia and reminded me of my own feelings during every change I had experienced. I actually wanted to make a whole post about OLBA but I got busy and already forgot everything I wanted to say, ehe. I still have to play the DLC and get the remaining locked CGs though.

Assignment Due: Project Blue. THIS GAME IS ADORABLE. I already made a blog post about what I like about it and I will again emphasis on how this game felt like it was made specifically for me. I love Asher so much aaaaa. I heard rei, the dev is working on another game for Eden, I'm looking forward for that, too.

Coffee Talk. Coffee talk was so so good! I need to play more non-romance VNs too cause this was so enjoyable in terms of its storytelling, setting, gameplay and design. Every character had such a nice story that tied up nicely, even the MC who's supposed to be just an observer throughout the entire thing. Also the cozy vibes and music is a 10/10 would recommend.

A Date with Death. This one's so cute too! I played only one route last year and just picked it up again recently. I have only one route left to finish and the new DLC!. Anyways yes the Grim Reaper is very babygirl I can attest to it.

seekL. THIS IS SO GOOD. SO SO GOOD. If you didn't see the one week phase where I basically went insanely obsessed with seekL, you missed out. Hacker man save me.. save me.. hackerman..

B. Want to play:

Lost in Limbo. Really pretty art and interesting concept. The theme seems very fantasy/magic centric which really pulls me in. But this game is still a WIP iirc

When The Night Comes. Technically I'm currently playing this one, but only the intro and hadn't touched the game in months cause I've been busy. Again, the fantasy setting caught my interest aaand I just met Ezra but I already love him. Will continue this as soon as I can!

Infinite Blue. I've played the demo! Very mysmes reminiscent lol. The game looked very cute so far and Brooklyn reminded me that I'll never run away from my old man liker allegations. It's already out so I def gotta play it soon.

Coffee Talk Episode 2. Don't really need an explanation for this one except that the new characters I've seen so far looks really cool.

Tavern Talk. D&D inspired Coffee Talk! If it's not obvious already, I LOVE fantasy settings so even though I've never played D&D, it is right up my alley and I wish I could play it someday. I've been eyeing the production of this game for a while so I'm really excited that it's finally out!

Obscura. This one looks really REALLY cool but I haven't actually read into what it's actually about. The art alone looks good enough to get my attention. Really curious about it, I hope I'll play it soon.

Intertwine. Just from looking at the 2023 Otome Jam entries overall I thought this one looked most visually appealing to me. I love the color scheme, and the aesthetic reminds of the string of fate myth (that probably is the theme)

DATA BR<3ACH. I'm usually not a fan of cyberpunk setting but this one seemed pretty intriguing to me visually!

Innerlog. By Jenny V Pham! I enjoyed Error 143 so I have no doubt I'll enjoy this one too.

Andromeda Six. My impression of this one is "space D&D" lol. I can't believe I haven't played this one yet.

TOUCHSTARVED. I can NOT believe only the demo is out cause the quality looks like it should've been a long existing popular franchise. One thing I'm a little hesitant about playing this game is because it's goth themed and in case you haven't noticed, a lot of the media I like have a softer, more pastel aesthetic. lol. But that's a personal preference and yet I definitely need to play it sometime soon.

Cupid's Chatroom. There's really not much to say. Pink aesthetic? Mysterious chatsim that appeared out of nowhere? My cup of tea 100%

Na Daoine Maithe. I've played the demo of this one and it is sooo interesting. I like myths but I've never really read into Gaelic ones. The art is so pretty and the story so far is very intriguing. I can't wait for the full game.

Swiped!: Double Shots of Love. FINALLY AN INDIE VN WITH OLDER MALE LOVE INTERESTS DFKJFDSJKD I played the demo, it was really really cute! The professor LI was made to call me out lol

Wake Me Up If You Need Me. A game made by rice! Someone who I've seen around in the fandom and who's really talented at making songs and audios. I had no idea they made a game but I just found it recently and I have to play it.

Keyframes. It looks really good but I'm interested mostly cause I found out Charlatean (Toasty's VA) is in this kjsdhfgkjd

Rekindle. I follow the lovely artist that's creating it and the DEMO IS OUT!. I saw one (1) art of Jules and he is EXACTLY my type so I'm already looking forward to this game.

Our Life: Now & Forever. Baxter's OL game! I already loved Cove's so I'm really really interested in this version of the game. Plus, I actually really like the autumn aesthetic compared to Cove's beachy style.

Hummingbird's Crown. Has a very interesting premise: a time loop mystery. I'm definitely interested in this one for its story potential rather than the romance, I love me a good mystery.

Aaand that's it. Thankfully "( – ⌓ – )

There's actually a few more that I added in my twitter bookmarks but those are relatively new and I haven't decided if I really want to play them yet. I'm following the devs though so that interest might grow over time. These lists are long enough as they are already, haha.

[peaterookie]

PREVIOUSLY ON PEATER'S INSANE RAMBLING ABOUT HIS OC - part 1 here :) i seriously recommend reading this first.

and yknow what? I should probably cover all of the christmas perrins all in a row because getting rid of all of them rn would better fit the writing flow better-

oh. there's a picture limit. god fucking damn!!! see you later then!!!

okayyy here's the later that everybody had asked for. we were talking about christmas perrins last time, got it.

~Christmas Perrins ~ peater gets sidetracked talking about his favorite holiday

BAM!!

combining all four christmas peaters will grant you the ultimate christmas weapon i think.

I used to host two Secret Santa events on the Sony Sketch Amino, where my ocs starred as the host of those events and got their special little designs and such. it was really fun... maybe there will be a third secret santa perrin in the future........

i also wanna show you these art i made for the event. the characters beside perrin are part of his #awesome gang called the pinwheel quintet

left to right is berry(blue girl), audie (yellow they), and lu (red guy) ofc perrin is the green creature. the four genders.

wow that improvement kinda go hard though

the third christmas perrin is aaaallso from a pinwheel quintet drawing!!! not much lore but i found the design cool.

can you guys tell that i like christmas

~ 2020 - 2021 ~ Thieves are coming to town!!!

March 2020 Perrin was a hallmark in his design history i think because for starters, I finally cracked the code on his design and how I want to draw him!

If you had paid attention to how his hair was drawn, which is completely understandable if you didn't its ok, he has always had a tuff of hair that completely sticks out. sadly, i dont think this was ever obvious to people given how it blends in way too easily when it's positioned towards the right, so i moved it towards the left to make it pop out a little.

his hair has always been a bit inconsistently drawn throughout the years, but i think after this you will notice that i start styling it very consistently because i started finally *getting it* around this time.

hopefully this makes it better for people to understand. listen. i had to suffer drawing those early designs so you guys still sit and listen to me complain about a 12 year old's shitty character design.

along with a new design for Perrin, Kirbypeater also makes a comeback after being shafted for almost 4 years!!

I mainly picked him back off from his mid 2015 design, but made some refinements and changed the direction of his tuff of hair lol. I also made him a separate character from perrin kinda. he's a bit more child-like and friendlier than the human perrin.

2020 also brings two new awesome AUs onto the table!! The first one being based off of Persona 5, where the Pinwheel Quintet becomes Phantom Thieves and such. This was made for an art challenge in Sony Sketch Amino and I did a whole fanfic for it but it's really bad.. I'm not showing you.

All I can tell about the story is I think i turned evil or something and their superpowers got taken away, so now they gain the persona powers and shit and they have to steal my heart to turn me good again.

Second au is also from a Sony Sketch Amino art challenge. Created by the same friend that made that one reference sheet of underswap sans lol (hi yan) and the story was co-written by meeee!!

This challenge revolves around a detective mystery, where the participants are given the plot and a prompt per week, each week the story updates giving them more details on the mystery and they eventually have to find out the perpetrator of the crime and stuff.

The story i think goes that a rich ass woman invites people to her party to see her awesome shiny diamond and so people come and then uh oh! the diamond's gone!! so then the detective (yan's oc) goes up to you like ur gonna investigate this with meee and then they do that and a bunch of stuff happens and oh my god peater's the thief all along?!?!?!? holy shit!!!

credit to @hinatas--oj for the art. haha. didn't expect to see this drawing in a while huh.

that story was so fun to make though. so then we made it into an au and i think my friend is making that story into a visual novel game!! so excited!! woohoo!!!!

ok, moving on.

holy moly!! new design again!!!

heavily deviating from the usual striped sweater, i completely abandoned the original story i wrote for him and wrote a different one, so that's why he looks really different.

oh yeah, i completely forgot to mention the cheeks on the ref before this. that was added as a little nod to him being heavily inspired by chara undertale back then. check chara's design they have pink cheeks :)

i think he was supposed to be a bounty hunter or something iunno that whole thing was also scrapped.

also i added his 7th birthday design on there because it kinda kicks ass.....

~ 2021 - 2022 ~ The AU Era

hooohhh boy

look I'm gonna be frank with you guys, I don't think this era was exactly my proudest. I think it's because the more we approach the present, this is gonna be the thing closest to the current me. you can kinda excuse all the other embarassing stuff from the earlier ones because i was young but honestly i dont like looking at this stuff sometimes 😭

but it's okay!!! this era is super cringe but it's time to fucking ball!!!

icky style.

this one was just me refining the prev design a bit more. i think i might added too much detail though. also he looks really fruity here which is just really funny to look back on now

speaking of fruity, some of you might've noticed that he also went by any pronouns in this ref and the prev. this was sorta something randomly added that gets retconned later on. (he does by he/him only now.) this doesn't mean he's cis though. he could be trans? or a third mysterious thing? who knows.

also! the introduction of peater piper!! his pipe weapon!!! it is the most powerful pipe to ever touch fiction. i felt like the baton thing wasn't anything significant enough + severe downgrade from the sword so i changed it to a pipe. feels like it fits his sewer rat vibe.

i think this stage was just particularly experimentative, going in very strange directions that i dont usually take so you're gonna see a lot of strange characters popping up now.

awright!!! let's tackle these three now!!

Swap Perrin - So you remember the Lu guy i mentioned during the christmas part? Well i made a funny swap au once and peater gets swapped roles with Lu! he is acoustic and likes hamsters.

Harlequin Rabbit - There's a lot of drawings i made of him but this is the only bareable one i can find. this bastard is a fucking god of the rabbits or some shit and he can travel through worlds but he's a FUCKING ASSHOLE and a FUCKING LOSER and EVERYPERRIN BULLIES HIM!!! I ALSO HATE HIM!!!!!

SpaceBun - This cute motherfucker is from a story that Lu imagines in his funny little brain of his where he's an awesome bunny space ranger and perrin is like, his love interest character kind of. she kinda has godly powers? she's a sweetheart. i love her. you should love her too. (also by far the hardest to draw and color in my drawing because she actually doesn't have a real reference sheet.

alright, more aus.

Roboperry - Not actually an AU, but they kinda snuck in there as part of the perrin group through a simple doodle i made. A friend became REALLY obsessed with it and now it's part of my story along with normal Perrin. They're a sweet little idol robot that loves Perrin very much <3

YanLu Perrin - AU where Lu is a yandere that wants to GET PERRIN!! honestly this guy's just a blank slate, wow, almost like senpai from yandere simulator, which this was based off of!!

P5PT - He's back!! with a fresh look!! Lookin' cool, Perrin.

OmorPea - yeah.

Demon AU - Based off of this vietdrama i saw of a group of witches living in the human world and terrorizing their neighbors with their magical powers. This instead is Perrin being a demon and terrorizing the neighborhood by being fucking evil.

AstroDome AU - AU where Audie (the yellow they) is a sad starving child that tries to sleep off their pain by being in their dream world. Perrin in the dreamworld is one half of a powerful crow god and he is a fucking bastard!!!

MM AU - Also new design!! He's not seen above but I do wanna talk about his character a bit. He grew up in a poor family and due to a series of unfortunate events, had to abandon his family and live on his own, deciding to become a thief to survive. Though he didn't want to live like this, he gets extremely good at his job and becomes an infamous thief in the cities. I think this AU was part of the reason why i got really into lupin iii later on

All of these Perrins were in like a Perrinverse situation where they interacted with each other and I drew a shit ton of art for them. All of these AUs, aside from Masquerade Mystery, AstroDome, Roboperry are now defunct and not being used sadly. It was fun while it lasted.

~ 2024 ~ Now?

Okay, last one to go through.

This one really got slapped with the Monkey Punch art style lmao. Not to say that's a bad thing, he looks pretty awesome. It was honestly really hard to draw him right in my new style, it took quite a while to get used to it but it was all worth it!!!

Will there be a couple more changes to his design in the future? maaaaybe.. But I'm happy with how he is now, the previous design got way too out of hand with the details.

With this post approaching its end, I wanna say to Perrin: I'm deeply sorry that I couldn't care for you well enough these recent years!!! I am very occupied with current projects, and while I'm unable to care for you now, you are more than just a character, you are an intergral part of my life and I will never forget that. With you reaching 10 years of age now, I promise that one day through these next 10 years that I will come back to you again with even more energy and passion that I had in the past. But for now, have this post and the drawing as a present from me to you :)

And thank you for whoever read BOTH POSTS through the end!! you are fucking wild and I would really love to hear what you thought of Perrin and his lore. I really wonder how long this took to read actually

uh what if i made it longer

and a bit longer

and a biiiiiit longer

maybe a biiiiiiiiiiit mo-

[exovapor]

I'm OBSESSED with your writing. Can you try.. Maybe, Donnie being a filthy boy being an 'stalker-ish' of his long time crush? Be checks their FB for new posts, saves every picture of them he finds? He doesn't mean to be a creep, feels guilty, but just doesn't know how to ask for more than friendship?

Good afternoon Anon. Here is my short story in relation to your ask.

I wasn't sure where you wanted me to take this, so I had to do a bit of guessing on my part. I hope this something like you were wanting.

I will admit that this ask was a bit of a struggle for me, not knowing a clear direction to take it outcome made me a little unsure of my writing and guessing abilities LOL. However, I will admit to crying along with the characters in this story more than once.

Thanks again for the ask and the initial compliment. I hope to continue to earn your favor in future posts.

· Stalker [noun]: 1a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention. 2a person who hunts game stealthily.

· Donnie stared at the definition on his one of his monitor screens while his various other screens were busy flashing receipts of files downloaded, text trail streams from your phone, notices of any social media post/update/like/heart/emoji, a GPS line grid of your routes today (overlayed over the routes you’d taken previously), and data search hits of anything and everything that pertained to you.

· At this point, the boy had literally every picture you had ever posted, anywhere, of yourself. In fact, he had all the pictures that other people posted of you in them. He had even gone through the effort of designing a face recognition program that picks you out of the background of total strangers’ pictures and, yeah, he had those in a file too.

· He has special file folders that compile things that you like, things you don’t like, things that make you happy, things that make you sad. He is your own personal Pinterest and you didn’t even know it… and maybe that is the part that keeps bothering him so much.

· He sits staring at that word and definition and chewing his bottom lip. True, he knows the word and the meaning, but he needed to LOOK at it, analyze it, mull it over in his guilt ridden brain.

· He just KNEW the word Stalker couldn’t apply to him.

· After all, he isn’t harassing or persecuting you, you don’t know! So, it isn’t necessarily ‘unwanted attention’. It is just…unknown attention.

· Stealthily, hmmmm, did that part apply to him? Well, He isn’t EXACTLY being stealthy.

· If you knew about technology like him, then you would probably see his programs running on your devices and be alerted to his activities. AND, if you shared his love and view of technology, then you would probably be more understanding of his activities and not consider them stealthy…just data mining. In fact, you might applaud him.

· ‘Ok, that was taking it a bit too far’, Donnie thinks to himself and he feels a band tighten and squeeze around his infatuated heart.

· He is almost certain that you would be shocked to learn of his extra curricular activities and how they revolve around every aspect of you.

· Regardless of how he tried to spin the truth and wiggle out of the definition of stalker, Donnie still felt guilty for invading your privacy. However, he honestly couldn’t help himself��at least not anymore.

· He has fought the urge, the nagging thoughts and the burning need, to know more about you for what seemed like an eternity.

· Listen to him, he is starting to sound dramatic like Mikey! What is his turning into? He is losing his rational edge!

· To be accurate, it hasn’t been an eternity. In fact, he has known you 1 year, 36 days, 14 hours, 11 minutes, and 23 seconds to be exact. However, you started occupying space in his mind 2 minutes into meeting you and your claim over his mind has grown exponentially over time.

· You were quiet and reserved during that first meeting, so there wasn’t much to go on. It started as a simple visual interest with a thought of ‘Oh. She’s pretty’.

· However, then you started talking and that changed everything.

· You opened up more and more each time you hung out with their little group, revealing layers and layers of interests and personality. You were fascinating…and that’s when his thoughts about you really started to snowball and spiral out of control.

· You went from being a simple pretty face to being a walking embodiment of everything he seriously ever dreamed of having in a mate.

· Early on, there were three sticking points that really made Donnie’s feelings problematic. 1. He was a nearly seven foot tall walking talking turtle and you weren’t. 2. You had a boyfriend that you were deeply in love with and adored. 3. Donnie was too insecure about #1 and how you felt about inter-species dating to let you know that you had started to OWN his heart.

· Now, thanks to his surveillance, there were only two sticking points….#1 and #3.

· He still remembers the feelings of that day, 44 days ago, when the blip of information popped up on this screen alerting him to the fact that your boyfriend was starting to stray.

· Donnie had severely conflicting feelings bombard him at once and it was overwhelming.

· The initial knee jerk reaction was elation, one of the problems blocking him from you may soon be null.

· However, the feeling of elation only lasted for a second or two before the intense anger and sadness set in. Donnie was honestly shocked at the depth of his anger, he didn’t even know he had that level of malice in him. Had he been in physical proximity to your boyfriend at that moment in time, Donnie isn’t sure that he wouldn’t have hurt your guy…or worse.

· How COULD this guy do this? WHY would he? He HAD YOU! What the heck was this guy thinking? Not only did he have you, but you thought the world of him. When you spoke about him you would smile so genuinely, your eyes would shine and gaze off into a bright imagined future. Donnie was always so jealous to watch it happen, he wondered what it would be like to be THAT GUY. And here the idiot was throwing it all away and meeting up with another girl!

· WHAT THE…(yes, this called for a curse) HELL…IS WRONG WITH HUMAN MEN?

· As the anger set root in his heart, the sadness engulfed Donnie like an all-consuming wave. He realized he was going to have to share this information with you, somehow, and that he was going to have to watch as it destroyed you.

· At first, Donnie had a plan to try and save you both from that fate. True, it would hurt him more to save your relationship, but he would rather be the one facing the pain and not you.

· He TRIED to circumvent the situation. He sent anonymous messages to your boyfriend stating that he knew about the infidelity and that he would tell you if needed. However, it didn’t seem like your boyfriend cared because he sent messages back stating Donnie could, basically, go fuck himself.

· Life had cruel sense of irony, thought Donnie, that is exactly what I do since this moron has the woman that I love.

· So, after trying for nearly two weeks to stop what was happening behind your back, Donnie had no choice but to let you in on the secret.

· Donnie couldn’t come right out and tell you that he caught your boyfriend cheating by hijacking your data streams and the data streams of those around you. So, Donnie intercepted some texts between your boyfriend and his mistress and he then sent you a text, under the guise of your boyfriend, telling you to meet him at a specified restaurant for a date.

· It had been a gut wrenching night for Donnie. He remembered watching it all play out on camera feeds from around the restaurant and street outside. He watched you dressed up in your pretty dress get out of your cab in front of the restaurant. You had such a lovely smile on your face, you must have thought you were in for a romantic evening.

· He watched as you walked inside and how the hostess got flustered and confused by a 2nd girl showing up for your boyfriend’s seated-for-two table.

· Donnie stopped breathing as your eyes found the new couple holding hands and giving each other sweet kisses across the table. Hands and lips that were supposed to be yours were touching some stranger.

· Donnie watched your smile and eyes die…the light of your inner sun go out…

· …and it killed him.

· He’s not sure who was crying the hardest, you standing there in that restaurant witnessing the scene or him back at the lair watching your world crush around you on his monitor.

· It had taken a while for you both to recover from that night.

· His brothers noticed his melancholy mood for a couple of weeks but Donnie wouldn’t tell them what was bothering him. And you stayed in your bed, refusing to face the world, for nearly as long.

· Eventually, the group began to notice your silence and absence, so April stopped by your apartment to check on you. She was the one to pull you out of bed, get you to shower and eat. She visited everyday and made sure you had someone to vent to and a shoulder to cry on.

· Donnie was glad that April could be there for you when he couldn’t. He didn’t think it was appropriate for him, a male, to be your confidant at that time. Especially since he felt so much guilt over having to be the one to expose you to that pain.

· No, he didn’t CAUSE the pain, but he did have to make you face it and he didn’t like not being able to protect you from it. You were such a rare, precious creature and watching you in pain felt like he was suffocating slowly.

· There were some points during those first few weeks that he questioned if he did the right thing, but logic told him it would have eventually come to pass with or without his involvement. It was better to rip the bandage of quickly and let you start to heal than it was to let you linger and drag out the inevitable.

· Donnie did secretly check on you every single night during patrol. And, of course, his surveillance feeds were always running. He watched from a distance as his beautiful phoenix burn down to ashes and, eventually, started to rise again.

· Now, it’s been over 3 months and you’ve begun to be more like your old self. Donnie can tell there is a silent sadness there, but you are able to laugh and smile with the group during your get togethers. And each time you two are left alone, his mind nags at him about those last two sticking points.

· Would you be at all interested in him? And HOW does he go about telling you that you have become the center of his world?

· Still staring at the monitor and the Stalker definition, Donnie sighs and rubs the bridge of his snout to release of the pressure now pushing against the inside of his head. The memories of what has happened, the emotions of what was and what is, it was all starting to be too much.

· “Bro, what’s all this?”, Mikey says standing behind Donnie’s chair, talking around a mouth full of pizza.

· “NOTHING!”, says Donnie, voice breaking from the stress of being caught. A startled Donnie quickly taps some keys on his keyboard and the screens revert back to the standard lair camera feeds.

· Mikey may look or even come off as naïve at times, but he’s no fool, he can sense that his older brother is trying to hide something. “Dude, seriously, what was that? I’ve been standing back here reading the screens. I saw Y/N’s name and that looked like her phone number on that other file…, you know the file that looks like texts messages. And why is there a plotted map of the area around her apartment, her work, and to the lair? What’s up?”, Mikey said giving a disapproving look at being thought a pushover.

· “Just standard surveillance, Mikey, nothing to worry about.”, Donnie says trying to placate Mikey’s curiosity. Donnie hates lying, especially to Mikey, but he’s feeling so guilty about being such a…(inward sigh)…stalking creep that admitting the truth is hard to do.

· Mikey stands there staring at Donnie and, as he does, Donnie begins to fidget with his computer chair armrests.

· Mikey stuffs the remnants of the pizza slice into his mouth and does his best Leo impersonation by crosses his arms and staring down at Donnie as sternly as his jolly face can achieve, “Dude, I’m not going to ask you again. You’ve been weird for months. We’ve let it go for the most part but now you are hiding things from me…from ME, dude! You and I, we’re like peanut butter and jelly, we’re ice cream and chocolate fudge, we young dudes have got to stick together. Trust me, bro, I’ve got you!”.

· Donnie stared at the floor, too ashamed to meet Mikey’s eyes any longer. He gave a heavy sigh and reluctantly started to speak, “Sorry Mike, I…I honestly don’t know what’s come over me lately. I’m doing things I never thought I would do, I’m feeling so guilty about it, but I don’t know if I can stop doing it either. I feel…lost.”.

· Mike relaxed his leader stance and leaned against one of Donnie’s lab tables, “Bro, I can tell you’ve been carrying some heavy stuff lately. You need to let it out.”

· Donnie felt the heat rise up through his body like he was suddenly being consumed by a fire and he ripped his glasses off his face and drew them down on the desk in frustration, “Mikey, I’m in love with Y/N. I have been for a while. I have been…”, Donnie hangs his head in shame, “…tracking all her digital foot prints and watching her. In fact, I’m the reason she found out that asshole boyfriend of her's cheated.”

· Mikey’s mouth drops open at Donnie’s demeanor and use of the word ‘asshole’, “Whoa, dude, why didn’t you say something earlier?”.

· Donnie can feel a stinging at the corners of his eyes, this was so embarrassing, so frustrating, so…..so many things at a once. He didn’t have a response for Mikey, all he could do was shake his head.

· Still with his head hung down and staring at the floor, Donnie starts to hear Mikey chuckle. Donnie looks up to see Mikey’s eyes on him and for some reason they are full of merriment at his painful dilemma. Donnie stares at his, normally, very considerate brother in astonishment, this isn’t like Mikey at all!

· “Mikey, I’m more than serious here, now is not the time to make fun of me. What is so funny?”, Donnie asks exasperatedly.

· Mikey shakes his bald head and claps his brother on the shoulder with his green hand, “Bro, she thinks you’re cute.”.

· “W-What?!”, Donnie stammers out.

· Mikey, still chuckling, says, “Yeah, dude, that’s why I asked WHY you didn’t say something about liking her sooner, she’s always thought you were cute. She and I talk about it all the time.”.

· Donnie just stares at his jolly brother in silence. His mind is too blown to form a sentence.

· Mikey turns to leave stating, “And by the way, dude, stop watching her like that…that’s just creepy.”.

@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl @kokokatsworld @nittleboo @the-second-circle-of-shell

[lexacoolfox]

(I was about to ask you if you can do Nagito with an S/O who’s like Leviathan from obey me but since you don’t know the game, I will just describe his personality for you.)

So basically S/O is an otaku who usually spends most of their time on the internet and doesn’t usually talk to people unless if they really have to. They usually rant about whatever anime or game they’re interested in to their closest friends and they tend to use internet slang even if they’re speaking to someone (ex: “Someone go grab the popcorn lolol”) Despite them revolving their reputation around being an otaku, they don’t think very highly of themselves and is very insecure. Since Leviathan represents Envy in the game, S/O is also easily jealous and often talks about how “unfair” or “lucky” others are. They also like to invite their closest friends to events in video games. They are also a mix of shy and energetic since they have a lack of social skills but they also gets angry when they get jealous or ecstatic when they see something rlly cool happening.

I feel like that sums it all up, I hope the request isn’t too hard.

Thank you for describing the personality in such good detail! I can definitely work with this!

Nagito with a S/O like Leviathan.

You were known as the ultimate otaku! You spent most of your time on the internet. Had very pricey anime merch and manga. Your room look liked an anime paradise. You also played video games.

When you got accepted into hopes peak you weren’t the most excited. You were homeschooled mostly, you hated going out in public and being ‘social’. You were pretty awkward in public.

You knew you didn’t have to go to the school. It wasn’t necessary to attend. But your parents practically forced you to go. They threatened to take away your privilege to buy anime merch and manga for 4 months if you didn’t go. You couldn’t live that long without being able to buy the things you like. So you reluctantly went to hopes peak.

You arrived the first day and you felt extreme social anxiety. You sat in a chair and noticed a girl with a game in her hand. You saw she was playing (insert random game.) you actually really like that game.

“You play (game name)?”

“Yes. I do, I like the story and design of this game.”

“I must agree the story and design are pretty great. I personally like to play games with a story like Kingdom of hearts it’s one of my personal favorites, the first one was good and I like the second one. I can’t wait for the third.”

“I really like that game too. It’s such a fun story and the mystery behind it is so much fun. What’s your name? I’m chiaki nanami the ultimate gamer.”

“Oh I’m f/n l/n the ultimate otaku.”

“So you like anime and manga I’m guessing.”

“Yeah I do. I also don’t do to well with social interactions, unless I’m online. I honestly didn’t want to come but my parents would cutoff my ability to buy merch and manga. So I really didn’t have a choice.”

“You don’t seem to be too bad at interactions. I mean your talking to me just fine.”

“Well that’s because we’re talking about something I’m really into. Normally I have nothing to say that isn’t consider to most people as nerdy or geeky. Sorry for uh wasting your time, I going back to my desk.”

You sat back in your desk and pulled out your phone talking to your internet friends. When somebody walked next to you. You noticed but that’s all.

“Hello.”

You looked to see a boy with very white hair and a smile on his face.

“Uh hello…”

“I’m Nagito Komeada the ultimate lucky student! If I may can I know your name and ultimate?”

“Um I’m f/n l/n the ultimate otaku…”

“Oh wow! That’s mean you probably have a lot of anime merch and manga right?”

“Yes I do…Um…not to be rude…but is there something you need?”

“Oh no. I just wanted to know introduce myself even though you will probably forget trash like me.”

“Hehehehe well there’s something we have in common. I doubt you’ll remember a loser like me lol, Ugh it’s so unfair, I can’t believe I’m an ultimate for something so lame. There so many people with such better Ultimates.”

“What! If anybodies ultimate is lame it’s mine!”

“Yeah…totally… being super lucky is so much worse than a loser who just watches ‘cartoons’ and collects figures that super expensive all day.”

Before he can respond you pull out your headphones put them on and started listening to your favorite anime openings. You just wanted to go back home and play video games.

Throughout the day you overhead everyone’s amazing Ultimates, you couldn’t help but think you didn’t belong there. These people had all these amazing skills and what are you an otaku. After a while you walked out of the class and went to a hallway and looked out a window.

“Hey.”

You looked over to see Nagito.

“Oh hey.”

“What aren’t you in class with everyone else?”

“Cause I don’t belong in that class.”

“But your an ultimate!”

“So what. My ultimate is so boring compared to the others. I just want to go home and play video games.”

“What kind of games do you play?”

“Oh I play games with a story and good graphics. But I also like games that don’t have a plot like, Minecraft. It extends my creativity. I’ll also watch a random anime while playing. Normally if I’m playing the anime I put on is death note. It’s one my favorites no cap.”

“No cap?”

“Sorry I tend to use internet slang even in real life conversation.”

For the next hour or two, you mentioned the type of games you play, anime you watch, and some merch/figures you have. Nagito was mentioning a game you played very often, you told him that a event of the game was coming up. You invited him to join you and he agreed.

When joined in one the event, you sounded so much more happy and very enthusiastic. He got to see a new side of you, the both you had a quite a bit of fun. He even learned a bunch of new internet slang. (Even thought he probably not going to use it.)

You guys were now really good friends. You two just got along very well. You two would play video games, watch anime, read manga together.

When you two played games with each other online. Sometimes he glad he can’t see your face. Cause you get jealous and angry when somebody beats you. In public if your jealous which makes you mad. You silent rant on the inside of your head. But online, it’s like a explosion of yells. Nagito tries his best to calm you down when you get like that, he’s learned not to say ‘it’s just a game.’ Cause that just makes it worse.

You kinda developed on a crush overtime. You realized you liked him when he gifted you a manga, that you couldn’t get cause you got in trouble with your parents.

You didn’t know how to tell him. There was no way you could do it in person.

You thought how something cute and something he might like. He really enjoyed the game Minecraft. So on Valentine’s Day you texted him to join you in a game. You spent about maybe a week making the little Valentine’s Day confession.

“I know it’s not the most romantic thing in the world. I was also to scared to tell you in person…I really like you Nagito.”

“Aww s/o…this is so thoughtful of you. I really love it! It so you! I would be delighted to be your valentine.”

“Really! Wow! I’m just so…!! How about we meet up at our favorite cafe?!”

“Yeah that’s sounds great!”

You two went on Valentine’s date. It was great. You guys went on more dates after that, and soon became each other’s significant other.

A few relationship headcanons

He is the only one allowed to touch any of your expensive manga’s or merchandise.

You get so easily jealous of other people when they flirt with Nagito.

You and Nagito have anime marathons. Like a movie night but anime.

He loves to see your excited face when new merch for you favorite animes or a new/sequel to one your games comes out.

You and Nagito get matching anime outfits

Nagito also helps with your insecurities by showering you with compliments while also degrading himself. For example while you were saying how uninteresting you were. You told he could probably do better. he responded with ‘don’t say that, it’s amazes me that someone as worthless as me. Is given the privilege of calling someone as amazing as you my significant other!’

You also give him compliments and shower him with affection. You also do anime classics like a kabedon.

When you did do a kabedon he almost passed out by how flustered he got.

I really hope I got the character right! So komeada-simp37 if I got it wrong or wasn’t really what you were looking! Sorry! Anyway hope you have a nice day!

[thesimperiuscurse]

08.04

It’s The Kingston Legacy’s sixth anniversary, so here’s a throwback post to celebrate! Last month I forced myself to reread the entire legacy, and while I stopped, clicked off the tab, and emitted a soundless scream of pure cringe numerous times (I wish I was kidding)—the past generations are actually not as terrible as I remember. I think enough time has passed for me to detach myself from the childish storytelling and look back in nostalgia. 

Thank you to my fellow Wordpress writers who have come along the journey, some for many years now, through every high and low. It’s astounding how much has changed in the legacy from when I was 15, and 21. Follow me down the (very) long memory lane, as I reminiscence about each story and my perspective on them now ❤

Generation 1 — Fern (2015)

To my shock, I found myself genuinely enjoying Fern’s story. I think this was because the first generation was purely me commentating on gameplay, and not trying to write a story (that’s when the cringe began). I was inspired by one of the original stories, Alice and Kev, to make a homeless sim and document her struggle for a better life: Fern, a snobby aspiring writer. Reading this, a huge wave of nostalgia hit me, and it reminded me of how wonderful Sims 3 gameplay is. Although I’m long past it now, there’s real heart and life in the design. I think it speaks about the rich personalities and quirks that I could write a whole life story off it. It was super fun making Fern camp out at Old Pier Beach, stealing from townie picnics and roasting apples on the fire, finding little ways to scrounge money, giving her a makeover in the salon, watching the townie dramas unfold around her. Although she faced homelessness two times and a shitty first husband (yeah, fuck off, Xander), Fern grew into a strong and independent yet sweet and gentle character, in love with the ocean like her great-granddaughter comes to be.  

I never actually addressed this, but she (and her love Christopher) passed away in the story between the end of Gen 3 and start of Gen 4. It just felt weird to make it a big deal because they never died in game—still ‘alive’ and well, scattered across different backup saves and the bin.  

Generation 2 — Briar (2015)

Briar’s story was strange, because it was half gameplay and half story, which meant that there were things that just did not... make... sense. She was quite an ‘unreliable’ character to follow because of her Insane trait. The plot revolved around her as a fresh detective, investigating supernatural phenomena in Sunset Valley. Her character arc was almost the opposite to her mother’s: a naive, optimistic, silly girl hardening through trauma into a cold and ruthless police chief. Ash’s death was the one moment I felt true sadness in this legacy, because he did really die. Imagine me actually getting emotional over my characters, lmao. Wild. 

Also, Max is OP. To this day he is one of the best male characters in my legacy, a healthy and supportive best friend (to husband) in stark contrast to the following generation. 

Fallen Angels — Cherry (2016-2019)

Yes. It’s this generation. Square the fuck up, Cherry. I will fight her any day. Old readers will know of my pure hatred for this story. It’s been about two years since it thankfully ended. My verdict now?

It’s not quite as horrifically shitty, Gabriel and Lilith being a lot nicer than I remembered (Gabriel’s only a bit of a dick at the start), but it still has glaring problems, such as the pacing and clumsy handling of sensitive topics. The story would have been far nicer if it focused less on Cherry and Luc’s relationship and their respective issues, more on the found family and her relationship with Gabriel (which was rushed due to me despising the story by that point). During the first chapters, I was cringing spectacularly at the combination of Luc’s initial jackass behaviour and Cherry’s whining. Toxic as FUCK. I had to skip 3.8 and 3.9 entirely. These two (because of my own shameful mistake) tainted the generation in my eyes, and even though all of the characters grew from their toxicity, I can’t really see past that guilt to the better parts of the story. 

Jade has been telling me for years that this story isn’t all bad, and upon forcing myself to reread, I can see what you mean. I’m sorry LOL. Something that pleasantly surprised me was the writing quality (just the prose, not the actual story mechanics... lmfao), and Raphael, who made me smile every time he appeared. Every single careless, sarcastic line of his was a banger. The pictures are something else I like, too. Many of them stand up to the best ones in En Pointe—the fiery, gritty, industrial tones of Bridgeport just hits different. The world was rich and immersive, which is missing at the moment in En Pointe because of me being too lazy to build a proper Los Angeles world, but Act III is set in Boroughsburg so I’m excited to get back into the city scenes. 17 year old me wasn’t mature enough to tackle dark themes, but at least the visuals for them were nice, I guess. The atmosphere of the story I really enjoy. It’s just the toxic characters and way-too-angsty moments that ruin the whole thing for me. 

En Pointe — Evangeline (2019-)

And here we are now! The early chapters are kinda painful to read because 1) Mako looked so ugly and 2) the dialogue was so clumsy and generic. I sighed in relief when Chapter 5 came around, because it was then both of those aspects really began to improve. Eva’s voice was simple, with her punchy remarks, much less romantic and descriptive than Cherry, so it was interesting to see her voice becoming more complex and layered as I more understood her character. Also, me visibly struggling with the natural lighting and only getting a handle on it 7 chapters later has me shaking my head. 

I’m already beginning to identify issues with the story, mostly with character arcs and pacing. It’s a strange combination of fast pacing (spanning half a year in 8 chapters) and Eva becoming surprisingly comfortable with Mako’s touch due to their unusual pas de deux circumstances. It’s curious how real life time actually played into the pacing of the story—because of the slow publishing schedule, less time has passed in the story as real life, so it’s almost as if the time jumps were made up by real life time, making the jumps feel not too strange. Reading consecutively, however, Evako’s relationship growth doesn’t feel slow burn... a little underdeveloped, in a way, despite their lengthy conversations. I think that’s because of Mako being such a reserved and mysterious character, and that I’ve unconsciously come to rely on Tumblr to give more depth to the characters/relationships. Luckily, pretty much everyone who comments on the story also follows me here, so this dual-platform storytelling is okay, I suppose. I want to post more of #Mishako since there just isn’t enough time to explore their bromance in the story!

At the moment I’m not happy with the story, but it’s fine. I’m learning. There’s more than half the story to go, which means plenty of time to reflect upon the issues and improve. I’m really looking forward to Eva and Mako’s character arcs in Act III. At the moment their relationship is based on their natural chemistry and respect for each other, and since they are yet to face trials their bond isn’t super deep, but Evako are still my favourite couple in the legacy thus far, and feel much more real than any character I’ve written before. It’s been very interesting for my aro ass (and being way more logical than emotional) to figure out a dynamic that is actually compelling to me, because most of the time when I look at romance I’m just like 😐🤨 I’m liking it so far but we shall see how everything unfolds, because I have barely any idea what’s going to happen beyond Act II, lmfao. 

That’s it for my incredibly long throwback! I hope it was at least nice for the OG readers, and interesting for anyone else who managed to battle through this essay, haha. This family has been an integral part of me growing up, as a person and writer and artist (what I’ve developed in visuals I apply to architecture), learning a great deal of awareness about real life through story research, which is pretty cool now that I think about it. I’m aiming to finish En Pointe by the end of 2022. I’m excited for what unexpected changes are to come!

[dawn-of-tomorrow]

shoutout to @punishing-gray-raven-ocs for this ask game!! (didin't expect to be tagged with one so soon lolol but i'm overjoyed~~ ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡❤️❤️)

1) What made you even think of trying Punishing Gray Raven? What made you stick with it?

Funny story actually-- I've long heard about PGR, way back when it was first released even, but I just didn't give it a chance back then mainly because it was in CN and I couldn't understand shit (rather ironic given how I am now lmao).

As for why I decided fairly recently, a couple of months give or take, to give PGR a shot? It's mainly due to the fact that I heard that the Global version would be out very soon, so I thought why not dive into what I've missed so far... not knowing that I'd become THIS obsessed with the game, aha~.

The most obvious thing that made me stick to this game are the interesting cast of characters, the "fun" story, the amazing yet simple game mechanics, and etc. etc.

2) What problems, if any, do you have with PGR?

Honestly speaking, the thing that most VEXES me at the moment about PGR, specifically PGR Global, is the wonky translations. It feels like a group of half-assed fan translators and one official translator who's not doing a good enough job with reigning everyone in instead of feeling like a group of professional translators who know what they're doing. Hell, I've seen better translations from some of my twitter mutuals!

3) Who is your favorite Construct, and why?

Lee. There's no question about it, Lee is my most favorite Construct at the moment (and forever perhaps ohoho~). As for why, god, hold that mic for a bit, I'm gonna go on a fucking rant. Ehem.

First of all, let's start with the most basic of things, like his appearances; As Palefire, he looks like this suave, very aloof, super serious, unapproachable, and "gets shit done efficiently" type of person, and while that description certainly isn't wrong, it's also hiding more layers of Lee's overall personality; as Entropy, he certainly looks and feels bit more casual than before, along with feeling somewhat more, even if a tiny bit, more honest with his feelings and easier to approach than before.

Despite being a serious, no-nonsense, grumpy guy, he's prone to occasionally quip and snark at anyone at their own expense especially if they get on his nerves (see his interactions with Kamui, not even the Commandant is spared from this!). He's also not as cold and distant as he may come across, given that, early on, he quite literally jumps in front of Liv to take a hit that was meant for her with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever, he's almost always the first person to make comments on the Commandant's state as well as express his undiluted feelings (though not without hiding it on occasion behind anger/annoyance, thus making it a case of "anger born from worry").

You can also easily tell if you pay close enough attention to his dialogue and actions that he's not good with expressing his true feelings even to the people he cares about (thankfully Murray, Skk, Lucia, Liv, Kamui, etc. can usually pick up on what he really wants to say), is the type to often be misunderstood due to him being the kind of person who believes in "actions speak louder than words", that he's used to taking care of others instead of prioritizing himself even to his own detriment; while making it clear that he prefers to think and act in a logical and practical manner, he's not exempt to having emotions/feelings, as such, he can be pretty empathetic towards other people even if he doesn't look like it (he's even the first one in the Gray Raven squad to point out WHY EXACTLY the people they come across in Echo Aria refuse to leave their homes even with high risk of the Red Tide washing everything away, and fully understanding as well as getting it).

Alrighty I'm gonna cut that segment short now before this becomes too long for anyone to read through, ehe~!

4) What made you think of designing PGR OCs, instead of making yourself into a self-insert?

.... Actually, truth be told, both of my Skks are, in some way, self-inserts~. It's just that they start out as one before eventually developing into their own characters with only hints/traces of their self-insert origin. Though my Construct OCs are definitely not self-inserts, that much I can certainly say so!

I made them mainly because I really enjoyed the official cast so much I wanted to make characters that would get to interact with them somehow, though I take great care in making sure they aren't TOO out of character with how they're canonically portrayed.

5) What's your thought process behind creating your OCs?

Honestly, it usually starts of something like this--

"lol wouldn't it be funny if I made this type of character? Oooh, what if they interacted with this character? Or this character? Or that character? Let's see, what's missing... Backstory and profile, check. Appearance, I'll sketch one in a bit. Hmmm... I know! *drowns the OC in mountains load of angst*"

6) What's your favorite chapter from the main story?

If I'm limited to talking only about the main chapters currently released on Global then it would have to be Fallen Star, mainly because it's Watanabe's time to shine~. (*´∀｀*)

However, if we were to look at the overall chapters, then, I would have to say Imprisoned Sight.

7) What do you think of the new Liv shown in the latest stream? Where do you think the story is going with her? What do you think happened to Gray Raven?

With Liv, I have a really bad and somber feeling about what Kuro Game has in store for her, given how she looks almost complete different than what she's looked so far, as well as the vibe her new look gives off.

Fuck, I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to thanos snap her memories away as well like they did with Lucia, or worse, infect her with the Punishing and turn her into an actual enemy (for a while before we get her back).

As for Gray Raven, considering what happened at the end of Evernight Beat, wherein the Skk is in a fucking coma with a chunk of the Mother Structure lodged in their abdomen, while Lee and Lucia are in repairs along with Liv, and, if I recall correctly, the Merciful One managed to reach Babylonia and is now onboard the space station as well-- I have a feeling that the despairing Liv will be approached by her and be given a new frame.

8) Have you seen the animated shorts? What do you think of them?

If you're talking about the Panini anime then yes, I've watched them already! Still ripping my insides open from laughter everytime I watch them lol. Favorite episode has got to be the toilet episode, next to that would be the episode where Chrome takes Kamui to Karenina and Liv for training.

9) So do Constructs eat or not? (I'm really confused, especially since I saw Karenina sipping a drink in one of the shorts)

Oh they most certainly can! Fuck, it's even explicitly stated that Camu likes to eat and sample foods whenever he can (revealed in his secrets, as well as his affection stories).

As Camu explains, while they don't get nutrients from human food, they most certainly can still enjoy them and use them as a type of fuel.

10) Do you think Kamui and/or Camu will be a really pivotal plot device at some point, considering how the information on Kamui is so top secret?

Hmmmm.... unless the story at that point is revolving around Kurono Ops and how shady they're being, then personally speaking, the chances are slim.

11) Do you think, at any point, any of the Gray Ravens will die off?

Naaaaaah. They won't do that. Sure, they TECHNICALLY killed off Lucia, but she's still "alive" in a sense, so it both counts and doesn't count.

Besides, sometimes death isn't the worse thing you can inflict on someone/a character~.

12) Who is your least favorite Construct, and why?

I don't really hate/dislike any of the Constructs if I'm being honest. Though I hate how shitty of a unit Sophia is, and that it's kinda pitiful that she's become even more useless now that the new S-Liv is here; but I am in no way saying you should stop using her, keep using Sophia if you really like her! It's your choice after all, and I'm not about to contest you on that part, after all, everyone's enjoyment is subjective.

13) What part of PGR's lore really holds your attention?

The part of the lore that really holds my attention are the characters, and seeing how they react and act to the situations happening to and around them, especially concerning the Punishing and forces out of their control~.

[starryinkart]

BATIM THEORY!!!?

(WARNING: Quite Long Theory Ahead!!!)

(WARNING 2: I wrote most of this when I was exhausted out of my mind on a trip home, so I'm sorry if its a tad bit confusing.)

PART 1- The Good?

Okay, so I know the big theory is that Henry may actually be the Good Bendy, but think about this...

Bendy according to the wiki and cartoons, seems to be and I quote:

*"Bendy is a borderline troublemaker, but is rather impatient and easily startled or timid, yet justifiably cheerful, fun-loving and mischievous "*

ANDD ALSO

*" Bendy is also attention-seeking and is easily distracted; he is never hardworking or courageous."*

NOW think about this. In the studio, who is the first person who comes to mind when you think of these qualities...

Rather *impatient*,*easily startled or timid*, *yet justifiably cheerful*, *easily distracted*, *never hardworking or courageous* 🤔

WALLY FRANKS.

Wally is described as "somewhat absent-minded", "felt confused and worried about some situations within the company" (towards the leaking Ink Machine and his angry fellow employees).

In terms of his social behaviors, he is described to be "friendly and easy to get along with" and towards the end of the game Wally himself notes that he is "surprised Joey remembers him, since Wally was not especially memorable among his co-workers."

He also seems to be "impatient" with Thomas and "easily distracted" or "absent-minded when working on the Ink Machine as seen in the audio logs.

(I know this is from the wiki, but alot of the storyline if this universe is quite confusing. Until we get clear answers or I dont agree with the facts on this site, I will be using references from there.)

PART 2- The Weird?

So that had me thinking, its kind of weird that Joey specifically remembered a JANITOR among his co-workers. Joey seems to have a history of only sending letters to people if they are important or fit his "story" (such as Henry, Allison and Tom), as seen in his apartment at the end of the game.

(Example: Allison became "Allison Angel", Tom became "Good Boris", Henry was the main character of BATIM [a may show up in BATDR as a secondary main character role], and Wally could be "Good Bendy" + Audrey of course who we really don't know yet.)

But what if that was the plan? He's trying to make his story "come to life" and his ideas seemed to have "semi-worked" for now. As well as he only sent letters (as we can see so far) to Henry, Allison/Tom and Wally. So, what if Joey thought Wallys personality, best fit what Bendy would be like if he was to come to life?

With this evidence as well as the fact that:

> Thomas and Wally are the only two characters to have a shared voice recording with each other (seemingly giving more of an insider on the way they act and their personalities).

(Sort of like how Bendy and Boris were seen together in the comics and most of the episodes revolve around them getting into mischief.)

> Thomas later becomes some version of "Tom" Boris we see later on, or at least his personality could be based on Thomas.

> Tom and Thomas seem to share many qualities, such as their seriousness and focusing on a task. Seeming harsh but well meaning etc. (Of course lol)

> Wally's whole "I'M OUTTA HERE!" catchphrase, in which sounds like something a memorable cartoon character would say. As well as his cheerful and loud demeanor.

(I mean, really think about it, its honestly too perfect...)

> ALSO as a note, Wally is the "attendant and designer" of the said Ink Machine. Which raises some intresting flags when you remember how Allison (Or Susie, which is funny cause she's another version of Alice Angel) states, that if you not careful, the ink will pull you back in.

(If Wally does turn out to be some version of Bendy, this may have more importance in BATDR when it comes to sides and Wally being the "Good Bendy" controlling the ink in some way...)

I feel like these small details between Thomas and Wally were put there for a reason. And who knows, maybe Allison being "scared" of the Ink Demon (Bad Bendy/ Good Bendy) in general, may come into play later on. They are supposed to be the cartoon TRIO after all.

(Also I would love to point out that Wally thought Susie Campbell or Corrupted Alice, was pretty. Maybe a parallel to a secret Bendy and Alice dynamic we have yet to see, perhaps from Nathan's version 👀?)

PART 3 - The Evil?

That leaves one question then...Who is Bad Bendy?

We've gotten a Bad Alice, "Bad" Boris, but who is the the Ink Demon we've seen throughout the chapters, roaming the halls in dark ink and looking to hunt for his prey, making your heart beat in your ears throughout BATIM (and now possibly BATDR)?

I think it might be Joey Drew.

And I know what your thinking.

"AHH BUT JOEY ISNT IN THE STUDIO, HE WAS IN HIS HOUSE SAFE and OLD , reMemBEr???"

Okay so, correction... i didn't say it WAS EXACTLY Joey Drew. At least his physical self we saw....

I think the Bad Bendy/Ink Demon may be a collection of all of Joey's regrets and insecurities of his life. In the ending of Chapter 5, he seems to be regretful of how he lived his life and saying that he "took and worst path and forged a "crooked empire". He then tells Henry to come back to the studio, because he has something to show him.

Perhaps this is the Evil Bendy we will see is a collection of all of the remorseful and angry feelings he sees about himself, comparing himself to the villian of the story and drawing himself as such in this story he's created. Its for some sort of closure, but it doesn't seem to be working. That's why he wants Henry to come back to the studio, to help him feel better and to live the rest of his life happy. Henry is one of the heros of this story....

Where Audrey, Tom, Allison, maybe Wally, Sammy and the other characters come into play in this theory is a complete mystery for now, but my guess is that most likely, they will ALL also be the heros to this story in some way. None of the characters are particularly "bad guys", just people who made mistakes and had failed dreams. They will also probably help Joey to erase the darkness from all of their minds, hearts and to truly "set them free", meaning helping them to get out of the studio, as well as move on. It is a combined effort and now most likely Joey/ Evil Bendy has to work with them to achieve such.

(Last Quick Note: In the end of Chapter 5, there is a table, and on this table there are storyboards of the events that transpired through the BATIM story so far, such as Ink Bendy. BUT THERES also events that haven't been seen, and perhaps we'll see in BATDR??Just wanted to point that out. 😉 Look at them VERY closely!)

[I am NOT smiling at some of the concept art on those storyboards, like Sammy getting CRUSHED by "Bad" Boris. Nope not today...🙃But, Sammy and Boris playing music together tho 🥺])

(EXTRA)- PART 4- THE...CAKE IS A LIE?

So a few weeks back, the Meatly uploaded this picture on his Twitter:

A Chocolate Cake. Specifically used to celebrate Bendy's birthday in February.

It is also seen in the most recent trailer, while we are going through the Employees Lounge Area/ Break Room/ Café. But why is this SO DAMN IMPORTANT?!

Because take a look at this:

Freakin Wally ate the cake. Not only due to the fact that he is so laid back that he may or may not deserve this cake after all (Bendy personality parallels?) but he found the cake, just sitting there.

As if it was left there waiting for him to make his rounds, and knowing what he would do, was a trap. That cake looks to be full of ink. And we already know the effect ink has on people...

This cake may have been a test to see what he would do in that situation, and if he failed...well... maybe the consequence were more "devilish" then we thought and he didn't actually make it "outta there".

Poor Wally, all he wanted to do was relax, "do his job", stay out of trouble, eat his chocolate cake and leave.

(We aren't EVEN going to talk about the fact that Thomas and Allison got married and Allison loves to cook and gives JOEY DREW recipes. That may be the reason why Wally got that cake in the first place, how Joey/Thomas knew he would be a good fit, and how so many employees got infected, but that would make this longer than I wanted and I will save it for another time.)

_____________

Part 5- Thankyou!

Anyway, this is just another "Theory Thought" that I wanted to put up here! Its just for pure speculation and fun. These are just thoughts. I'm sorry if you may not agree and you doing so is valid. Just dont send hate due to you not agreeing, thankchu!

P.S I want to thankyou all for all the love on my account lately. I have more stuff coming, I promise, Im just SUPER swamped with school! 💙

[dariadraws]

and my final piece so far for @geekinthecorner‘s @batfam-big-bang fic Bats Of The West, it’s Jason Todd! ngl i think this is one of the ones i had the most fun with, and also the one i crammed the most details into that no one but me will ever know exist, but i’ll share a few of them under the cut, along with the image description. plus, a list of all of Jason’s scars in this au, and how he got them.

also, like i said, this is my final piece so far but i fully intend to come back and round out the batfam, draw all the other characters i havent had a chance to get to yet, so keep an eye out for that, and in the meantime here’s some fun facts!

alright so. first off, just some general overall thoughts on Jason and some of the details i added here.

 his gun in the first pic is super expensive and pretty, but i imagine he doesnt use is as often as some of his other ones, simply because when he’s out in The Wilderness tracking down criminals for weeks on end, it’s not really the kind of place you want to bring your prettiest, most expensive gun. when he’s on the ranch or in town tho, or really just anywhere where he doesnt anticipate needing to rough it for more than a couple days (which isnt the same as not expecting the need to get rough), he’s probably got this gun.

his gun belt and holster are a whole other story tho. he spent exactly zero dollars and zero cents on them, just assembled them from some spare leather they had lying around, which is why theyre in such Not Great condition, and also why the belt itself ended up so long. he could cut it down to a more reasonable size, but it’s not like there’s anything else he could make from those scraps anyways, so why bother.

that big gun in the second image isn’t technically his tho, it’s the Communal Ranch Rifle. mainly it’s just used to scare away coyotes (or, yknow, actually hit coyotes) but it does occasionally see real action as well, tho not often.

also. does it even need to be said? his hat.. holder... bead... thing. with the turquoise inlay. is a gift from Dick

alright and now the fun part! i go through all of jason’s scars, and how he got them. there are quite a few and a lot of them are. Sad. so be warned, and take care of yourselves! (also just for the record, i promise the fic itself isnt actually as dark as this will make it sound. basically none of this shows up in the story, i was just given free reign to design whatever i wanted, and poor jason ended up paying the price)

ok so. scars. 

first off, the claw and bit marks on his arms and shoulders are from getting attacked by some coyotes back when he was still just a kid. to quote my explanation back when i pitched this to Em, “bc as a Young Human with minimal supervision and not necessarily having someone to call him inside once it gets dark, he was unfortunately Very Delicious, if somewhat scrawny, by coyote standards”

next up: a bullet scar on his abdomen, on his lower left side (our right), from some kind of shootout with a criminal. this one is middling-recent; after bruce adopted him, but before the joker thing. i dont really have anything concrete for that one but it was a through and through, and somehow, miraculously, missed hitting any bones, and any organs. just missed his lower rib by like. an inch. that one messed bruce up more than jason, honestly. if anything, he was just surprised it took him that long to get shot, with the life he's had

the ones on his cheek and on his chin were just Regular Childhood Shenanigans scars, no real story.

the one through his mouth is from his time with the joker though. there's also the J brand on his right bicep, also from the joker.

also joker related, hes got a lot of scars on his hands, especially his knuckles and fingertips, from trying to fight his way out of his captivity, and scratching his fingers raw trying to pry open the door to his cell/untie the rough rope he way tied with/whatever the specific situation was. also some minor rope burn scars on his wrists from the same deal.

also some blade scars across his palms from trying to stop/block knives. definitely with the joker, but probably at some point in his youth as well

a few faint lines across his neck from being a temporary hostage a few time while helping Bruce on cases when he was younger, but none of them ever went deep or caused any serious damage

oh and also, whip scars on his back from his time with the joker, which arent too prominent, and mostly cant be seen from the front, except for a couple of spots where they crest over his shoulders and the very tail ends of them can be seen, but they’re there 

and also some kind of straight scar on his left forearm, which was a carry-over from my usual Jason design, that i like but dont really have a story for, so that one’s purely aesthetic, lol

and that’s it! i think? that’s all my notes on that? either way this post is getting Way Too Long, and i still gotta do the image descriptions, so i’m calling it there. 

[IMAGE ID: two images of Jason Todd in old-fashioned cowboy clothing. He has red, curly hair with a streak of white running through it at the front. his skin is pale but sunburnt, has deep-blue eyes, many freckles both on his face and on the rest of his exposed skin, and his body is broad and muscular, and he has many scars. he has small round metal piercings in the lobes of both ears, as well as an additional two in the top cartilege of his right ear.

in the first image, he is facing directly at the viewer with his arms crossed, and a challenging look on his face. he is wearing a maroon cowboy shirt with checkered red accent at the chest and the sleeves rolled up to his upper arms. he has a dark blue polka-dot bandana tied around his neck, and over that pass two strands of red braided cord holding his tan cowboy hat, which is visible hanging off his neck behind him. the cords are tipped with small metal beads, and pass through a large, dark brown wooden bead inset with turquoise, which regulates their length. he is wearing dark-wash blue jeans with prominent yellow stitching, pulled over his cowboy boots up to the ankle until only the foot of each boot is visible. the boots are dark brown with pale seams and red stitching, and light brown heels and soles. fastened around each boot are embossed red spur-straps, with metal spurs extending from them behind the boots. at his waist are two cracked leather belts. one is dark brown, with a pale silver buckle stamped with vine designs, and it is threaded through his belt loops. the second belt is hanging diagonally over his hips and holds his gun and holster. this belt is a reddish tan with a pattern of darker brown, overlapping rings down its length, and has a darker silver buckle. it is long enough that the loose end of it wraps back around itself several times before hanging down. the holster is simple brown leather folded over the gun, with two straps to tighten it. the gun itself is an ornate and expensive-looking revolver, black metal with intricate gold detailing and a mother-of-pearl grip.

in the second image, he is facing slightly to the side, with a long shotgun propped over his shoulder with one hand and an unimpressed expression on his face as he looks somewhere to the right of the viewer. he is shirtless, and his torso is muscled, stocky, and as sunburned and freckled as the rest of him. his cowboy hat is hanging off his neck again behind him, once more held in place by the braided red cord and round wood-and-turquoise bead. he is wearing tan, high-waisted pants tucked into his cowboy boots, which are the same as in the first image but now fully visible, with red pulls at the top. the pants are attached to red suspenders, though they are not on his shoulders and hang down around him instead. his gunbelt is once more around his hips, but the holster is obscured behind him, and isn't visible. the hand not holding the shotgun is down loosely at his side, and has a red and white bandana wrapped around the wrist. END ID]

[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Hidden In Plain Site (2)- Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count:  2348

A/N: This was inspired by this wonderful post by @starsholland. Without it this would not be happening. This will be a multi part fic, but I don’t know how many chapters or when it will be posted so if you’d like to be tagged let me know:)  Welcome to Tom being undercover on Tumblr. Quick notes- Y/T/B = Your Tumblr Blog

Chapter One || Master List

The edit turned out better than you thought it would. You had decided to use blue and red, since they’re Spider-Man colors and it honestly suits Tom and Haz so well. You still are wondering when the picture is from since you scoured the depths of Google and Tumblr to no avail. It’s either really old, or not really posted. Either way it made an adorable edit and will look great in your edit’s tag. It’s also sparked some ideas for a friendship imagine. It’s been so long since you wrote anything, with work and family stuff weighing you down, but you can picture the outline in your head so as soon as you finish the last touches on your outline, you click open a new document and drop a few lines down to get going. 

“What you working on?” Your brother calls to you from across the living room. He knows that once you’re home for the afternoon, it’s not normally work stuff, but sometimes your graphic design projects run into your post work day.

“Just some edits. Nothing too big.”

“Bringing work home?”

“Nope, just working on some extra stuff.” You type some more into the document, wanting to make sure that everything is hitting the moment right. In your browser, you pull up your tumblr and make a new post.

Ask me stuff while I work on my latest imagine. Give me a number 1-100 and I’ll give you a song from my writing playlist and a memory attached to it.

Across the ocean, Tom can’t sleep. It’s nearly 3am, but something is keeping his mind from sleeping. He should be able to sleep just fine. He isn’t working on any movies that have him worried, he doesn’t have any auditions coming up, and he doesn’t have press for a few weeks. So why can’t he get to sleep?

Lifting his phone in his hand he sees a notification from Tumblr saying that Y/T/B has posted. He swipes across and waits for the post to load. You want questions? Well, he can help with that. Plus, he’s interested in learning about what kind of music you’re interested in.

Anonymous Asked:

33?

Anonymous Asked:

86?

Anonymous Asked: 

69;D

Three Anons come in right after another. You weren’t expecting that quick of a reaction. Sure you had a couple hundred followers, but you didn’t tend to get that many reactions to your posts. At least not back to back. But you’ll take it, and reply. As soon as you send the edit to that blog that asked for it.

You pull up the thread between you and tomholland2013. You click the camera button and upload the edit you had done. 

Hey, here’s that edit. Hope this works for you! 

Surprisingly, whoever is behind the account messages back immediately.

That looks awesome! Thanks so muchX

Hows your night going?X

More like afternoon here lol. I’m just getting some work done after getting home earlier.

How about you? Is it night there?

It’s like the middle of the night here and I can’t sleepX

If it’s middle of the night there, did you see the news? 

What news?X

That Tom saved Spider-Man?! It’s been all over Tumblr since I got home from work.

It’s kind of the reason I made your edit in red and blue tbh.

I hadn’t had time to look at my dashboard to be honest. I’ve been busy with work stuff most of the afternoon.X

It wasn’t a lie. Over the past few days having talks between him, Bob and Tom trying to smooth everything over, there wasn’t much time to glance over the explosion that had happened since the original news had been released. But after clicking send on his message to Y/N, he clicks over to your main blog to see the reaction to the news. There are some general reblogs of the news announcing Spider-Man returning to the MCU but then there were also some general posts about Spider-Man and Peter Parker. Your tags are what really get to him. Some like hashtag my-baby-is-back-where-he-belongs and hashtag get-tom-drunk-more-often-if-it-saves-my-baby. He can’t help but laugh at the last one. True he hadn’t exactly been sober when he and Bob had first talked about getting Spider-Man back in the MCU, but he didn’t think that story would take the world by storm.

Going into his settings, Tom quickly updates his picture with the edit you had done for him. Honestly, it looked better than he had hoped for. You had done Spider-Man colors and if he wasn't trying to keep this blog on the down low, he would share it on his Instagram so his fans could see how talented Y/N was. As he hits save, another message comes through from you.

Do you mind if I use the edit I sent you as inspiration for an imagine?

A what?X

An imagine. It’s a specific type of fanfic. I had a great idea of one while I was working on the edit for you, but if you’re not cool with it, I’ll find a different picture.

You did all the work on it. Feel free to use it. What kind of story?X

Basically like a Tom x Reader with hints of Harrison friendship notes in it. It’s hard to explain lol

Have you written other stuff?X

I think everyone on this site dabbles in it from time to time, but yeah I’ve written a few pieces over the past few years.

Do you have a list of them?X

Sure, it’s here.

You had linked a page in your message. Apparently dabbling meant one.. Two.. three… his finger drags down the page as he counts the stories. Holy hell, you’ve written fifty stories about him, Peter Parker and even some of the other Avengers. But most of them revolve around him and x Reader, whatever that means. You had mentioned it in your message, but he wasn’t sure what it meant.

Ok, I’m new to the whole fanfic thing, so pardon my stupidity but what does x reader mean?X

It’s a self insert fic. Basically anywhere that it says Y/N or you, you put yourself into the fic. They’re one of the most popular types of fics.

Before he can reply to your message, a notification comes up saying that Y/T/B has posted a new post.

Anonymous Asked:

33?

Y/T/B/ Answered: Heather by Conan Gray. So I love this song and totally have screamed along with the chorus of this song when I’m alone at home and writing or in my car driving places (otherwise I would freak my family out). When I wrote a fic called The Smell of Your Sweater, on my master list here, I listened to this song on repeat for three days straight to be in the right mind set. Honestly I could probably listen to this song until the end of time and never get sick of it. 

Tom reads over the answer and can picture someone jamming out to a song so much that they love it. He pulls open his Spotify app and pulls up the song, because he wants to feel closer to you, even though you’re time zones apart from each other. The fact that it’s afternoon where you are and nighttime where he is makes him think that you’re in the United States.

So reader insert are some of the most popular type of fics, but what are your favorite to read?X

That’s not even something that I would share on a first date lol you’ll be waiting a bit to find out. 

Is sharing that you write fanfic something that you don’t talk about on a date?X

Not normally. Talking about it with tumblr friends is one thing because I link it on my blog, but what I read is a whole nother thing. It literally says so much about you with who you read, what ships you ship, and especially what kinks you look for.

KINKS? IN FANFICS?X

You haven’t read much yet have you?

Literally no. I’ve only been on tumblr since I messaged you the first time. That was the day I made my blogX

So you’ve been on for a month? And you’re deciding to get into fanfics?

No I’m thinking I should stay away from it still. It seems like virtual porn.X

It doesn’t have to have anything smutty in it. Just click on ones that say fluff or don’t say smut next to them. You can also block certain tags so they don’t come up on your dashboard. Like Starker is a popular one to be blocked for a lot of people.

I don’t think I even want to know what that is if people are blocking it who are into this porn esque writing. X

It’s not porn lol You seem to have only found smut so far. We need to find you some fluff. Maybe some Tom x Reader?

Maybe I’m just not ready for it after all.X

Does he want to read about himself? Not at all. That seems creepy. But other people write about him too. It’s not just Y/N. He decides to research this further. In the search bar he types in Tom Holland Fanfic. The first four post all say smut or NSFW so he’s not going to bother reading them, but the thing that catches his eye is the fact that they all have over 2,000 notes on them. Two thousand people have liked or reblogged about him in a sexual way? What the actual flipping hell?

Before he has the chance to flip out even more, another notification from your blog pops up.

Anonymous Asked:

86?

Y/T/B answered: Praying by Kesha. THIS WOMAN COULD MURDER ME AND I WOULD THANK HER FOR IT. Plus that chorus makes me want to write some epic breakup scene and have one of the people begging the other to feel the same as they are feeling. Oooooo maybe I feel a one shot coming up. Anyway, a memory of this song- my best friend and I blasted this song while we drove from California to Philly to visit a school. It literally got us through so many hours of that drive. Kesha is bae lets be real. Or is that not what the cool kids say? 

When he sent you these asks, he thought he would get one or two sentences in response, but he’s learning so much about you from all of these asks. Maybe he would send you some non song related ones, maybe some To- Peter Parker ones to see what else you liked. Purely science based research. 

If you’re not ready for it, don’t push yourself. Fanfics can be a weird mindset to put yourself in. I used them at first to distract myself from some shitty family stuff that was going on, but now I read and write them for fun too. I think I mainly read Avenger ones at first as well as some TV shows too. Plus would I be a teenage girl if I didn’t read a few Twilight fanfics back in my day? 

Twilight? Like Rob-Tom makes himself type out Rob and Kristen’s full names like a fan would-ert Pattinson and Kristen Stewert Twilight?X

That one exactly. I was the generation it was aimed for and so fanfics galore were my teen years. But I’m proud to say I’m a recovered Twihard.

Glad to hear it darlingX

What about you? What were you into as a kid?

I’ve always been a fan of Spider-Man, ever since I was a kid.X

Comics or movies?

Comics. They’re the originalsX

Which Spider-Man is the best? 

Is that a trick question? Obviously HollandX

Was that conceited? Maybe. But hopefully, Y/N doesn’t think so. Oh wait she has no idea-

It was a trick question. A trick question that you clearly got right. 

Another notification pops up and you suddenly remember the last number that you sent Y/N. Well hopefully the number doesn’t seem like you.

Anonymous Asked: 

69;D

Y/T/B Answered: Noice. 

But the actual answer is Bad Religion by Frank Ocean. This song got me through my last bout of depression lol. I remember sitting on the floor of my bedroom with the lights off and just playing this song on repeat. Always open about that here. It also gets me to channel some deep emotions into some pieces that I’m working on because it reminds me of being in that dark place. I also really like the beat of this though, like how it sounds like a mix of an electric piano and an organ. So if I ever name a one shot Bad Religion, it’s probably named after this song.

Tom feels like a weight is sinking in his gut. Almost like someone slammed an anchor into the lower part of his bowl. He didn’t mean to bring up something so dark with that number. He was hoping it would actually make her laugh. So guess he will send her one more number, but this one won’t be on anonymous.

Tomholland2013 asked: 36

Huh, he must have seen all the responses you posted. Between posting and replying to him, you hadn’t gotten much work on your imagine done, but you could post once more before jumping back to your word document. 

Tomholland2013 asked: 36

Y/B/N answered: The Night We Met by Lord Huron. I literally saw them in concert with my friends last month so a lot of the memories I have of them are about this. But I have a great fanfic idea for this song specifically. To not spoil it completely I’ll just leave you with three spoilers- first date, first dance, secrets spilled. It’s a work in progress.

Now it’s time to get off the internet and back to writing, or else you’re going to Tumblr your day away.

Taglist: @ serendipitous-amor @im-still-tryin-to-find-it​

[limitless-rose]

The Signs as things I wanted to be when I grow up

[This has literally been in my drafts since December because I wasn't sure if each option matched with the sign I chose but whatever (it's also a long post again, oof)

Also I didn't really post anything related to 2020 so... Happy New Year, let's hope something good will happen this decade!! 💖]

♈ Aries: Be part of the army. I was quite fascinated by the idea of guns and protecting the nation and actually getting my life together. I was actually thinking about it for quite a while until I realized that in order to get accepted (at least according to the Greek system) you need to have excellent grades (especially maths/physics), to be taller that 165cm and to be excellent in sports. Guess what, I don't understand physics/science/chemistry, I've been about 158cm for the past 3 years and the only two sports I'm good at are badminton and tennis (while you need to be good at running, swimming and things like that I guess 😕)

✧

♉ Taurus: A chef/baker. Cooking and baking always seemed pretty fun. I would always sit by my grandma whenever she cooked/baked goodies and observe the whole process. I also got inspired by the movies "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ratatouille" and thought that one day I could possibly come up with my own recipes and open my own restaurant. But while growing up I realized that I can't cook properly when I'm stressed/multi-tasking (I'm capable of burning the food AND the kitchen if I get slightly distracted, ooof)

✧

♊ Gemini: A TV presenter or a weather woman. My mom told me that from the age of three I would always pretend to talk to an audience and answer questions from the callers or announce news/talk about the weather. Maybe that explains why I talk to thin air (as if I was a YouTuber) about anything and everything when I'm alone. Though it sounds cool, I don't really think I could do it now because I have social anxiety.

✧

♋ Cancer: A writer. I really like writing, I don't know why. Authors have been inspiring me since my childhood, I remember I used to read so many books and try to write something of my own based on it. 😅 I like taking notes and then re-writing them more neatly. I like re-doing old homework in a different style and see if I have improved. I really like writing in a diary/a bullet journal too, I feel like it's much better than bothering others with my problems anyway. I also love coming up with random scenarios/stories/characters and writing about it but I don't know if I should share it. Idk, sometimes I feel like my writing is a bit boring or that it's nothing that impressive. So, honestly, if more people took writers seriously instead of thinking it's a hobby as it doesn't always pay well (when did the world even start revolving around money that much, oml) and if I was more confident about my work I'd definitely chose to become a writer/author (I'm still keeping it as a hobby no matter what I end up doing, lol).

✧

♌ Leo: A model. Omg, I honestly don't know why I even thought of it. Probably because I really liked watching ANTM when I was younger (and I specifically chose the American version because the one we have in my country makes me cringe a lot, just hearing girls from my school talking about it is painful). My friends also liked the outfits that I put together or how I would always pose for pictures (a few years ago, I'm too awkward now asdfghjkl). Looking at it now it's just so funny. There's literally so much competition in the name of beauty, the community can get kinda toxic sometimes and the standards are pretty high. Also I'm way too short and I still can't walk like a normal person when wearing high heels lol.

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♍ Virgo: A teacher. Specifically, a teacher for elementary or even kindergarten. Back then, the concept of teaching seemed pretty fun to me and I had lots of ideas about how to make class more interesting. The thing is that I have good chemistry with most kids and I actually kinda dislike teenagers because of how rebellious we can get when it comes to school (idk but like teens in my country are like pretty rude to everyone 😐). I'm not so sure about it now, though it's still an option.

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♎ Libra: A psychologist. I always liked helping others out and offering advice when they're having a tough time and I was also curious to see what makes each person feel angry, sad or stressed and the way they respond. It's also interesting because you can learn a lot about someone's personality, preferences and way of thinking or understand what caused someone to commit a crime. I still really like psychology and it's one of my main options for uni. The only problem is that psychology is pretty much overrated in my country so people say it's best to choose something else. 😒

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♏ Scorpio: A criminologist. And, surprisingly, I still want it. I was always intrigued by things that required research, was interesting in learning what caused a murder/crime to be committed and I would always watch crime thrillers with my dad. I also like it because it's a field of Sociology which is one of my favorite subjects. I'm just hoping finals aren't super difficult so I can get accepted in the college that I want on the first try lol.

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♐ Sagittarius: A flight attendant. Back then I found it kinda fun, as I was always curious about what going on a plane is like. It could also be because of their outfits (like the ones you see in movies or in Britney's MV for Toxic, idk why 😅). Plus I would get to travel around the world without paying as much as the passengers. But then, at the age of 14-15 I got on an airplane 4 times and I saw that it wasn't really like the movies and that literally everyone ignored the flight attendant so yeah, it's not an option anymore. ✈️

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♑ Capricorn: A fashion designer. So because I would always draw and constantly ask for new crayons/markers and other art supplies, my mom bought me a few coloring books that focused on fashion. It came along with stickers, stencils, ideas for Victorian dressses, advice for how to design lace or mermaid tail dresses and I was so impressed. A few years later, my grandma showed me a few dresses that she had made for my mom when she was younger (which were so gorgeous like I'm definitely going to wear one of them on my graduation day) and taught me sewing. I also got to see these small floral designs that you usually see on lingerie and it was so pretty, I wish I could do it as perfectly as her. I decided to follow my grandma's advice and keep it as a hobby instead (because she ended up doing nothing but designing clothes and repairing them which she regrets 🧵🧶).

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♒ Aquarius: An astronaut. This was pretty random, I have to admit. I guess I really liked space and looking at at the stars in the night sky. I read a few books about space and learned a few things about NASA back in elementary too, though I realized that it's something I could never really do, as you have to sacrifice a lot. I'm still fascinated by this profession but there's no way I could ever do it, since I can't even understand basic physics or mathematics. 🤷‍♀️

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♓ Pisces: An artist. Honestly I didn't really care if most artists didn't get recognition/fame or if they didn't earn enough money, I just wanted to make art because I liked it. It's also fun because while you are expressing your thoughts through an art piece, another person might interpret it differently, based on their likings and thoughts. Art also plays an active role in my life: I've been drawing and painting since I was 5 and I would always watch the show with Bob Ross on TV with my grandma. Instead of completely giving up on this idea, I thought that I could choose another profession (also my family didn't really like the thought of me doing art for a living 😐) and keep art as a hobby.

[theboywhocriedbooks]

Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian

[Goodreads]

It's 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

Reza is an Iranian boy who has just moved to the city with his mother to live with his stepfather and stepbrother. He's terrified that someone will guess the truth he can barely acknowledge about himself. Reza knows he's gay, but all he knows of gay life are the media's images of men dying of AIDS.

Judy is an aspiring fashion designer who worships her uncle Stephen, a gay man with AIDS who devotes his time to activism as a member of ACT UP. Judy has never imagined finding romance...until she falls for Reza and they start dating.

Art is Judy's best friend, their school's only out and proud teen. He'll never be who his conservative parents want him to be, so he rebels by documenting the AIDS crisis through his photographs.

As Reza and Art grow closer, Reza struggles to find a way out of his deception that won't break Judy's heart--and destroy the most meaningful friendship he's ever known.

Thoughts:

Spoiler-Free Thoughts:

This was a book that I instantly became excited for when I learned what it was about. It discusses queer love, HIV/AIDS, NYC, the late 80’s, and those are all right up my alley. I’ve personally spent a lot of time educating myself about this history, be it in classes such as the one I took that focused on QPoC and HIV/AIDS specifically, or online, so you can say I’m pretty invested. I even wrote my own short story that focuses on similar themes (more on that some other time). Those parts of this book were so great, to an extent. One of my favorite historical moments is the St Patrick's Cathedral protest in the late 80’s, the die-in, where an individual can be heard screaming ‘You’re killing us!” and that made it into this book. So many other important historical moments made it into this book and I think that is its strongest aspect. 

I was also excited about this book because it discusses this topic AND is by a person of color, an Iranian American specifically and one of the main characters is Iranian American as well. I felt like, ‘who better to explore themes of love and friendship during this time than someone who was alive during that time and also is a person of color’, aka, a voice I don’t hear enough of when discussing this topic. So much of this book is important! The queer Iranian representation, the queer youth rep during this time in history, queer sex + safe sex, the iconic activism, and even just some of the general references. I respect this book for that alone, for attempting to tackle it all and doing some of it very well.

Unfortunately, I had a lot of problems throughout the book. I know one or two might be very biased and personal things, but I know there are some I would like others to know or talk about. This includes: love triangle/melodrama?, general pacing, Madonna, the white characters, cis-normativity, privilege, the pov’s, and more. I will discuss that below, so run to read the book (if you want) or continue to read my spoiler-ful thoughts!

Spoiler-ful Thoughts:

I feel like some of what I have to say might be controversial so bear with me. For context, I am a young queer Mexican-American writer from Los Angeles, and that’s where I’m coming from with this, identity wise.

I was so stoked to hear this history told in a PoC perspective but aside from the author being of color, I don’t actually think I got a PoC perspective??? Let me break that down. First of all, the story is a multi-pov that alternates each chapter from Reza, Art, and Judy. Realistically, 1/3 of the story is told from the Iranian American character’s eyes. Then the other two are white characters. That itself is where I began being a little iffy (because, again, I was excited about a young PoC pov on this topic) but I was open, especially because I enjoyed them all in the beginning. I just didn’t understand why we needed a straight ally’s point of view? Overall her arc fell flat, aside from the cute moments of fashion design or that moment with Reza’s brother surprisingly. I would have been okay/would have preferred if it was just Reza and Art’s pov though.

In relation to Judy, the whole romance between her and Reza and then Reza and Art was so overblown and unnecessary. Reza didn’t need to date her, though that is a valid and relatable gay teen feels. I wish it ended in that “oh!!! you’re gay, wait!! lol let’s be friends then!” thing. Instead, she’s in love with him for half the book, super pushy with sex and gets extremely upset with Art for… liking Reza, and then you don’t ‘see’ her much throughout the rest of the novel anyway? It just felt so unnecessary, and so love-triangle-y. I did really like Art’s “you don’t understand how it is to like someone and be gay” speech cos felt valid to gay teen vibes, but that could have just been said in a way less dramatic argument? It really made no sense to me.

Before we leave Judy, lets touch on privilege, specifically white privilege and class privilege. Reza’s family, was once poor but now filthy rich. Art’s family, filthy rich and white. Judy’s family, allegedly shown to not be ‘rich’ by the two lines that say “my friends’ rich parents gifted us that cos we’re not as rich as my rich friends” and yet there is really no discussion on that any deeper than that. Like why are her parents not shown working, her mother especially? And her uncle? He lives alone in an apartment in the upper east side or whatever, and doesn’t work anymore? I might have missed that but I shouldn’t be able to just ‘miss that.’ Like, how did they pay to go to PARIS. It just didn’t at all feel like a story I could relate to or one that this history could relate to entirely. Like, even them having a whole ass wake/party thing for her uncle in a night club? Most people who died of AIDS complications didn’t get that, especially not ones who aren’t from ‘not-rich-families’. It was subtle and yet the smell of privilege was everywhere.

Then even Art and Reza’s relationship was also weird? It was forbidden then it immediately wasn’t and they were in love, due to one or two time jumps that really did not help to build their relationship at all. Okay though, some teens love easily, especially gay teens who don’t know many other gay teens so it could slide? Then, however, there is this really real and valid fear ingrained in Reza regarding AIDS and gay sex. He is terrified, and I loved (and hurt) for how terrified he was because it felt reasonable. What I didn’t love was, knowing this, Art was also super pushy sexually? Do you realize he, at multiple times, tried to pressure Reza into sex and once even got naked and pushed his body against him? Doing this after full well knowing how uncomfortable Reza was? No, thank you. From the author’s note in the book, I felt like MAYBE this could have been intentional and not meant to be an extremely positive? While that could be a stretch, it also doesn’t at all criticize or directly address this toxic behavior so boop.

This brings me back to not feeling like I get a QPoC perspective. Reza is our main queer person of color, and really the only prominent one (Jimmy was a rather flat character). Yet, everything else revolves around whiteness. I already addressed Judy taking up space as a narrator. Then there is Art, the super queer activist teen. He is mostly where Reza learns all the queer things from, and he is mostly the perspective where we see the queer action/activism from. Then, who is the elder HE learned everything from? Stephen, the gay white poz uncle of Judy. THEN, who do they frame EVERYTHING around? Madonna, the straight white woman. 

Sure we hear about Stephan’s deceased Latino boyfriend and, as I said, Jimmy didn’t have much character to him aside from wearing a fur coat, saying “my black ass,” and helping move Stephan’s character along. He also has one of the few lines that directly addressed qpoc, where he says qpoc are disproportionally affected by AIDS but no one is talking about it. Ironic. It almost rarely addressed PoC throughout the rest of the novel. Heck, it almost never addressed trans characters either. What about the qpoc and trans woc who were foundational to queer rights movements that take place before this book? Sure he name drops Marsha P. Johnson, in passing, on the last page of this 400 page book, but why not mention them in depth even in one section?

Someone asked me, why does the author HAVE to do all of this. Why do they have to representing everyone, like Black trans women. Isn’t that unfair? My answer is no, it’s not unfair in situations like this. This author isn’t writing just a casual romance/friendship story. No, he is heavily touching on so much literal queer history and yet leaving out so many key players that are so often left out because of white-washing that happens in history. He didn’t even have to name these people, but just addressing that they are there as a community. Instead we get two or three throwaway lines about Ball culture after they “went to a ball that one time,” a random line from Jimmy, and a Marsha P. Johnson name drop at the end. It is honestly disappointing. 

Even framing everything in the words of Madonna was a bit much for me. Sure, I know of her history and importance to queers so this is one of the more biased parts of this review. I just don’t think we needed several references to her every other page. I then screamed when, not only did we time jump like 20+ years (gays don’t do math, sorry) and the last quote is Lady Gaga! Oh, my god. I won’t linger on the white popstar allies because it’s not worth it. In regards to that time jump, though. It felt unnecessary as well, just trying to tie it all up with a bow. It’s reference to Pulse seemed random, and honestly felt a bit cheap, but so did lots of the things I’ve referenced. 

Lastly, why did Art abruptly lick Reza’s lips out of nowhere, or when he was angry it was shown by saying “ and his brow sweats”? Anyway, I’m bummed out. I haven’t been reading as much this year or writing reviews but here I am, writing a novel-sized review basically dragging this book. I liked it enough to finish, and I think it’s important. I know some queer kids reading this will love it and learn from it but I just couldn’t help but realize that right under the surface, this book was sort of a let-down.

Thanks if you read all of this, and also sorry at the same time. Share your thoughts!

[the-desolated-quill]

Doctor Strange - Marvel Cinematic Universe blog (as requested by 1000+ followers)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Before I start, I just want to say thank you again to all one thousand of my followers (still can’t believe it. That number just doesn’t seem real. LOL). And, as promised, here’s my review of Doctor Strange. I chose to review this movie to mark getting one thousand followers because people have been wanting me to do this review for a long time now (nearly three years in fact) and also because it was this movie, or rather my harsh criticism of this movie, that arguably cemented my reputation on this site. So here we go. Hope you feel it was worth the wait. Enjoy :)

2016. A year of ups and downs to be sure. While it will forever be infamous for the Brexit referendum result, Trump’s victory in the presidential elections and many much beloved celebrity icons dropping dead like fruit flies, it was also the year where two of my all time favourite comic book characters would finally make the jump to the big screen. The first was Deadpool. The second was Doctor Strange. Two characters I thought would never get movie adaptations on account of them both being somewhat niche products. Deadpool was a violent, anarchic parody of antiheroes like Wolverine and the Punisher, while Doctor Strange was a psychedelic fantasy story focused on existentialism and Zen philosophy as well as having its themes and influences deep rooted in various Asian cultures and mythologies. Not exactly mainstream. And yet, against all the odds, both movies found great success at the box office. The difference being Deadpool managed to stay true to the tone and themes of the source material, whereas Doctor Strange... oh dear.

Now my long term followers will be very much aware of my stance on this movie. At the time I refused to watch it due to the casting of Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One, viewing it as not only racist erasure, but also demonstrating a severe lack of understanding on the filmmaker’s part. East Asia isn’t just used as window dressing. It’s vitally important to the story as a whole, so discarding it would be incredibly moronic as well as deeply offensive. Now I’m not going to go into all the reasons why the whitewashing of the Ancient One is racist and why all the excuses Marvel gave at the time was bullshit as I’ve already explained these reasons ad nauseum various times before. If you’re curious, read Doctor Yellowface And The Bullshit Machine, where I explain it all in excruciating detail. Here I’m just going to say that this movie is racist. That’s not my opinion. It’s demonstrably, objectively, scientifically, factually and literally true. If you think otherwise, you’re an idiot. Period. Full stop. End of discussion. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. With this in mind, when I sat down to watch this for the first time, I expected to be angered and outraged by it throughout. But I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bad movie and a bad adaptation of Doctor Strange, but honestly the most remarkable thing about this movie is how unremarkable it is. Which is a problem in more ways than one, but now we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Lets start with the things I liked. Don’t worry. This won’t take long. There really isn’t that much to like about this film frankly. Even the bits I like have massive caveats to them.

My first shiny gold star has to go to Benedict Wong as Wong. Now as much as I love the comics, I’ll be the first to admit it has massive problems when it comes to how it presents Asian characters. So I’m pleased to report that Wong is the only aspect of the film that’s actually better than the source material. Whereas comic book Wong was Doctor Strange’s manservant, movie Wong plays more of a mentor role in Strange’s story. He’s the librarian of Kamar-Taj, guarding the sacred tomes, and is actually at a higher rank than Strange, which I love. It’s a good shift that refreshes the dynamic between them, and Benedict Wong’s deadpan delivery is exceptional. I just wish we could have spent more time with Wong and Strange. Maybe see Wong actually teach him something.

The second praiseworthy element of the film is the visual effects. This film was nominated for an Academy Award and... yeah, can’t argue with that. The CGI is fairly good for the most part. My favourite part of the whole film was when the Ancient One shows Strange the multiverse for the first time. The visual effects team clearly had a lot of fun coming up with weird and wonderful worlds that we only get a short tantalising glimpse of. (the dimension of hands gave me the shivers). This sequence came the closest to realising Steve Ditko’s vision in my opinion. Beyond that all we see for the rest of the movie is the poxy mirror dimension, which admittedly is cool at first, but quickly becomes dull and repetitive each time its trotted out. There’s even an entire fight sequence between Strange, Mordo and Kaecilius in a distorted version of New York, which would have been impressive if Christopher Nolan hadn’t done it first in Inception. And the less said about the technicolor monstrosity that was the Dark Dimension, the better.

Finally there’s Benedict Cumberbatch as Strange himself. I know some people were disappointed that Marvel didn’t racebend the character and I would have preferred that to, but if we must have a white guy in the role, I’m glad it’s Cumberbatch. He does a decent job in the role and there are moments where Strange almost leaps from the page and onto the screen.

Almost.

Because that’s the problem. Cumberbatch does the best he can, but he’s ultimately let down by the script. This film has a lot of issues, but by far the biggest is the title character. He may be called Doctor Strange, but he’s really Doctor Strange in name only. I was a massive fan of the comics growing up and I’m telling you this guy isn’t Doctor Strange. At least not the Doctor Strange I remember. And the weird thing is this seems almost by design. In order to show him to a mainstream audience, Marvel seem to have felt the need to completely sanitise the character, removing everything about him that made him unique and interesting in order to fit the expectations of the lowest common denominator.

Let me explain.

People often compare Strange unfavourably to Iron Man, and I can understand why to a certain extent. Both represent the epitome of white privilege and materialist obsession and their origin stories focus very heavily on criticising and deconstructing these inherently selfish and unlikable characters. Iron Man is about forcing a capitalist industrialist to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions, whereas Doctor Strange is about forcing an egocentric man to care about the wider world outside of his own bubble of privilege. Both may sound similar, but there’s a key difference between the two. Iron Man’s origin revolves around responsibility whereas Doctor Strange’s origin revolves around relativity. This needs to be understood if you’re going to attempt to adapt Strange and director Scott Derrickson doesn’t seem to understand that at all.

The fatal mistake Derrickson makes with this movie is that he’s trying to make Strange like Iron Man without fully understanding what made the first Iron Man movie good and what sets Strange apart. He’s clearly hit upon the arrogant, egocentric thing, but the problem is people exhibit arrogance and egocentricity in different ways. The comics understood this. Iron Man’s arrogance takes the form of this charismatic, devil may care kind of attitude, whereas Strange’s arrogance was more along the lines of an Ebenezer Scrooge type figure. Someone who’s cold and uncaring. Someone like...

Yeah! Someone like Dr Gregory House from the TV series House M.D.

See, if Iron Man is like Elon Musk, Doctor Strange is like House. Both are arrogant, but in different ways. So to see movie Strange acting all smug and making quips and one liners just didn’t feel right. Which is not to say Strange can’t be funny. The comics had their humorous moments, but it’s not the same kind of humour as Iron Man. Strange should be more cutting. More snarky. He needs to have more of a bite to him. Instead we get the poor man’s version of Robert Downey Jr.

But wait, because it’s actually worse than that. It’s not just Strange’s personality that’s different. Our perception of him is different too. The first Iron Man movie was extremely clear in how we should view Tony Stark. The gambling, the drinking, his lack of responsibility and the way he takes his friends and co-workers for granted. We’re clearly not supposed to like him. That’s why his character arc works. We’re seeing this selfish individual realise how selfish he is and try to make amends. Strange should be similar. He’s a callous arsehole who won’t lift a finger to help someone if the case isn’t interesting enough, seeing it as beneath him. So when the car accident occurs, him getting nerve damage in his hands feels less like a tragedy and more like karma. The universe punishing Strange for his selfish behaviour and forcing him to change. In the movie however, he doesn’t seem like that at all. In fact kind of the opposite. He doesn’t object to helping his ex girlfriend get a bullet out of a patient’s head and he seems to get on well with most of his colleagues, including his ex. Sure he’s a bit of a dick, but he still seems nice enough. The only time we see his Scroogeness come out is after the accident, at which point it’s hard to hate him even after he berates his ex because he’s a decent guy who’s understandably frustrated, which absolutely should not be the case. Strange is a bastard who cares for no one but himself. We’re not supposed to like him. But Marvel and Disney are so preoccupied about getting bums on seats that they’ve actually managed to strip away all the elements that make Strange Strange.

And then there’s the origin story itself, which the film gets completely wrong. Sure the basic elements are still there. Strange, in a last ditch effort to save his hands, travels East to see the Ancient One (except the Ancient One is now in Nepal instead of Tibet because of the Chinese market, but apparently they still can’t cast an Asian person as the Ancient One even though the film no longer has anything to do with Tibet and therefore there should be no issue. Marvel are racist dicks. Case closed), but beyond that everything is changed. In the comics, the Ancient One refuses to heal Strange’s hands because he’s a selfish arsehole who deserves no pity or help from anyone, but then when Baron Mordo tries to assassinate the Ancient One, Strange does the first selfless thing he’s ever done in his miserable life and tries to warn the Ancient One despite having his mouth magically sealed shut by Mordo. Then it’s later revealed that his mouth wasn’t sealed shut at all, and that the Ancient One knew all along Mordo was planning to assassinate him and was merely testing Strange, at which point he invites the good doctor to practice magic in order to stop Mordo in the future. In the movie however, Strange gets kicked out by the Ancient One only to then promptly get let back in after banging on their front door for several hours and gets taught all these spells despite showing no sign of selflessness or willingness to change whatsoever. Oh yeah, and Strange and Mordo are now total besties.

Do you see what I mean about this being a bad adaptation? There’s no longer any conflict. No character arcs. No one learns anything. Everything is just hunky dory and Strange is just magically a good person now. This is truly shit writing.

Everything about this movie seems to have been designed to be as bland and uncomplicated as possible. All the Asian influences and philosophies have been surgically removed to make way for a generic, knock-off Hogwarts for Dummies. The interesting plots and themes have been replaced with a by-the-numbers save the world plot. Even the lore has been simplified to an almost insulting degree. Take the Eye of Agamotto for instance. A powerful magical artefact created by and named after the most powerful sorcerer that ever lived.... reduced to a fucking Infinity Stone.

Oh and the Cloak of Levitation now has a mind and personality of its own because why the fuck not? Who wants to watch something intelligent or philosophical? Lets just make a shitty cross between Harry Potter and Mr. Bean.

And then... there’s the white saviour stuff.

Now I confess I haven’t read the comics for quite some time, so correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure Strange didn’t have a photographic memory. Yet in the movie, that’s the convenient explanation we’re given for why Strange is somehow able to learn complex spells in a matter of days. Spells that are apparently meant to take years to learn, like astral projection and time manipulation. Now the comics had this problem too, what with proclaiming that Strange is not only the Sorcerer Supreme, but the most powerful Sorcerer Supreme that’s ever lived, as though his white skin were like the star power-up from Super Mario Bros, but the movie seems to go out of its way to double down on this bollocks. Oh sure, we see him struggle to create magic portals every now and then, but it doesn’t hide the fact that he’s somehow able to create mirror worlds and time loops despite having little to no training whatsoever. He’s like Rey from Star Wars. He can just pull any random super power out of his arse when the script requires him too.

So having completely botched Strange’s characterisation and journey, how are the rest of the supporting cast? Well like I said, I like this new Wong, even though he’s criminally underused. As for the other characters, it’s a pretty forgettable bunch.

Lets start with the elephant in the room. Tilda Swinton. Having heard all the excuses under the sun as to why Marvel and Disney simply had to cast a bald white woman wearing a bathrobe in an Asian role, I was expecting something pretty spectacular from Swinton, especially after all the praise critics gave her. Instead we get... well... a pretty dull character actually. In fact I’d go as far to say that this is the blandest and most uninspired performance I think I’ve ever seen Swinton give. There’s just nothing there. Now admittedly the Ancient One wasn’t all that complex or well developed in the comics neither, being little more than a racial caricature, but I thought the whole reason they whitewashed the character was to make him/her ‘enigmatic and ethereal.’ Instead we just get the same generic mentor figure we’ve seen dozens of times before. All the stuff about her tapping into the powers of Dormammu to increase her lifespan could have made her more interesting, but the film never fully capitalises on this revelation before she kicks the bucket.

Baron Mordo is pretty much just dead weight, with the great Chiwetel Ejiofor utterly wasted in the role. He’s essentially reduced to being yet another black sidekick for the white lead. Again, the comic book version isn’t all that great neither, but the movie replaces this camp pantomime villain with absolutely bugger all. We don’t get to see any real conflict between him and Strange until the very end and even then it doesn’t really make sense. Mordo is a stickler for rules and so gets pissy with Strange when he breaks the rules in order to save the world, to which I can only ask... what else could he have done? I didn’t see you come up with any bright ideas Mordo, you fucking moron.

Rachel McAdams... exists.

Seriously, why is she in this movie? Why does Doctor Strange need a love interest? Why not just wait and introduce Clea? I could get behind using an ex girlfriend to display how selfish and narcissistic Strange is (a bit cliche I admit, but this is an MCU film we’re talking about. I’m not exactly expecting Citizen Kane here), but as I said before, the two seem to get on quite well. And other than stitching up a stab wound, Christine Palmer pretty much does nothing throughout the majority of the film. So what is she even doing there?

Also it appears the film’s racism doesn’t just extend to Asian people because it turns out Christine Palmer is actually Night Nurse in the comics. The same mantle Claire Temple has, who appears in Marvel’s Netflix shows. Not only does this come off as quite alarmingly racist, it’s also just plain weird. For all their boasts about wanting to create a shared universe, Marvel seems to spend every opportunity it can find to keep the Netflix stuff at arms’ length, to the point where you question why they’re even in the same continuity in the first place. If Strange must have some human connection, why couldn’t it have been Claire Temple? For one thing, Claire’s character is much more interesting than Christine’s (and Rosario Dawson is a much better actor than McAdams. Sorry, but it’s true), and it would be a great opportunity to bridge the gap between the movies and Netflix shows without having to bog the narrative down with exposition. But as I’ve said numerous times in the past, Marvel are more interested in creating a BIG shared universe than a coherent one.

Finally there’s the villains. Nearly always the worst aspect of any MCU film and Strange is no different. We have Kaecilius, played by Hannibal’s Mads Mikkelsen whose performance is more wooden than Pinocchio, and Dormammu, played by Benedict Cumberbatch who seems to be competing with Andy Serkis as to who can play the most CGI/motion capture characters. Both, unsurprisingly, are shite. Kaecilius wants to save the world from death by allowing Dormammu to destroy it.

I don’t get it either.

So you’re probably wondering who was Kaecilius in the comics. I mean I’ve explained everything else, haven’t I? And honestly, I haven’t the faintest idea. Turns out he was a henchman of Baron Mordo who I completely forgot about because he barely ever shows up in the comics. So... they turned Baron Mordo into the black sidekick so that the villain could be played by a white guy. Oh. And guess what race Kaecilius is in the comics.

YYYYYep. He’s Asian. I guess all the Asian actors were sick that day, so they had to cast a white guy.

Oh and you’ll never guess what his backstory is. You’re right! He has none! Other than references to some tragedy, we know absolutely fuck all about him. Critics actually liked this movie?!?!

Oh and don’t get me started on the humour.

Kaecilius: “Mr...?”

Strange: “Doctor.”

Kaecilius: “Mr. Doctor?”

Strange: “No, it’s Strange.”

Kaecilius: “I guess so. Who am I to judge?”

Dear God, someone was paid to write that.

Then there’s the Big Bad Dormammu from the Dark Dimension. (Yes, the same Dark Dimension from Agent Carter and nope, that’s never referenced. In fact this doesn’t even look like the same Dark Dimension as the one from Agent Carter. Although, to be fair, I’d want to forget Season 2 happened as well considering how fucking terrible it was, but come on guys!). In the comics Dormammu is a mystical entity that has a quote ‘unnatural obsession with our material universe’. Could be interesting to explore. Oh but I forget, this is an MCU film. They don’t want interesting. They want safe. So instead we get a purple, floating CGI head and the generic destroyer of worlds archetype. (In fact Dormammu weirdly has more in common with Galactus than the actual Dormammu. Sometimes I wonder if anyone at Marvel Studios have ever even so much as glanced at one of their own comics before).

In conclusion, is this the worst film I’ve ever seen? Admittedly no. It’s not that bad. If you switch your brain off, I can imagine someone having a good time with this film. But you see that’s the problem. You shouldn’t have to switch your brain off to enjoy Doctor Strange. If anything the opposite is true. The comics, despite their faults, were intelligent, surreal and thought provoking, asking questions about our universe and our place within it. Steve Ditko (and only Steve Ditko. The late Stan Lee may have put pen to paper, but it was ultimately Ditko’s ideas and vision, which makes the gratuitous Stan Lee cameo in this film particularly galling to me) created something truly captivating in Doctor Strange. Despite the racial caricatures and white saviour tropes, I still love these comics because of how it explores the world and our relation to that world. How we are just small cogs in a massive and intricate machine. It’s truly groundbreaking and would influence many other comics to come. The Doctor Strange movie doesn’t even begin to do that. It won’t influence anyone. It won’t make anyone think or question their role in the cosmos. In fact, three years later, despite being a huge box office success, it’s largely been forgotten. And that’s a crying shame because Strange deserves so much more.

Doctor Strange may not be the worst comic book movie ever made, but it’s a terrible adaptation of the source material. Anything that made it unique or interesting was carefully removed with surgical precision under the guise of making it more progressive, when in reality they just wanted to make it profitable. But profitable doesn’t mean good, and Doctor Strange doesn’t even come close to being a good movie. I would love to have seen what a director like David Lynch or Ang Lee would have done with this psychedelic material. This movie could and should have been the most intelligent and surreal comic book movie that’s ever been made. A perfect opportunity to allow a visionary filmmaker to go wild and express themselves artistically. Instead it’s just another MCU movie. It’s such a shame.

And people wonder why I’m worried about Deadpool joining the MCU.

[murasaki-murasame]

I’ve got a whole lot of feelings about :re episode 18, so I guess I’m gonna talk about them now, lol.

Spoilers under the cut, including spoilers for the whole manga.

In a lot of ways this didn’t pan out exactly as I expected, but I still really liked it, and I still think they’re doing a great job of tightening up the source material.

Funnily enough this didn’t actually extend as far into the story as I thought it would. I figured it’d end with Mutsuki showing up at the cafe, but I guess that’s gonna happen at the start of the next episode.

I also expected them to have Furuta officially become the CCG head before the clown siege started, but I like how they did it here. They made it pretty clear that he was still pretty much the CCG head during the whole clown siege, and they didn’t put a whole lot of emphasis on Matsuri being the temporary head.

And on the note of Matsuri, while on the one hand I’m slightly sad that they’re giving him a lot less screen-time and focus, I think it’s ultimately for the best, since I just don’t like a lot of how Ishida handled him by this point in the manga. Mostly in terms of making his entire character revolve around an obnoxious ‘lol he’s gay’ joke, which the anime has basically avoided thus far.

I actually quite like how they handled the scenes with him in this episode, though, with the whole recurring visual metaphor of him getting beaten at chess by Furuta. It’s a really effective way to spell out what’s going on, and how much Furuta is taking over the show.

As I expected, the clown siege worked totally fine as a single episode, since the anime cut out the CCG lab raid so they could focus just on the clown stuff. It goes by pretty fast when it’s not broken up by other stuff. They did remove some scenes from it, particularly with Mutsuki, but I’ll talk about Mutsuki a bit later in this post.

Like how episode 17 focused entirely on the ghouls, this episode focused entirely on the CCG, which I think also works really well. It helps make the story feel a lot more focused and straightforward, compared to how the manga spliced all of this stuff together a lot more haphazardly. It’s one of the things I’ve been really liking about the pacing of s2 in general thus far. Starting from the Cochlea/Rushima arc was where the manga started getting noticeably more erratic and all over the place in terms of it’s pacing, and you could see how Ishida was struggling to juggle an ever-expanding list of plot points and characters, so I like how this season has been consistently rearranging and tweaking things so that it focuses more on one thing at a time.

And going along with the focus on the CCG, they kept a lot of nice character moments with the different CCG people, which was nice. Like Ui reminiscing about the people he’s lost thus far, or Shinsanpei visiting Kiyoko in the hospital, or Suzuya getting thrown off by watching Uta disguise himself as Shinohara. There’s a lot of nice stuff in this episode.

I think it also worked pretty well to have Urie fight Donato alone, since their whole fight was always just about the two of them. I’ve always liked Urie’s character development in general, so I’m glad the anime handled this whole part well. Especially with how they made it clear how much he resents Kaneki for abandoning the CCG, even though he’s mostly avoided talking about it thus far.

I remember not liking the clown siege arc much at all in the manga, but I really enjoyed it here. Probably because they cut out a lot of the obnoxious parts and restructured things so that this whole arc was a lot more focused and to-the-point. The actual base concept of Furuta overtaking the CCG and watching as the clowns engineer terrorist attacks across Tokyo is really good, and feels suitably dramatic here, but I think it was just sorta clumsy and bogged down by awkward execution in the manga. And on the topic of really awful scenes from this part in the manga that they thankfully cut, I should talk about Mutsuki for a bit here.

I still kinda wish that the anime had entirely avoided taking Mutsuki down this whole direction, but thus far they’re doing a much more pleasant job of it than the manga did. They’re at least making it a lot more clear that he’s just a victim in all of this who’s not being given the help he needs, and they’ve largely cut out the gross shock value-y scenes with him that were basically just designed to make you try and hate him as much as possible. Particularly, in this episode, they cut out the scene where he fights Uta, and hoo boy am I glad about that, because that was very possibly the single worst scene with Mutsuki that Ishida ever wrote. It worked a lot more elegantly to basically shift some of the details from that scene to the short flashback of him killing Torso.

And on that whole note, I’m glad that they didn’t actually do much with flashing back to the Torso stuff. They still didn’t show any of Torso’s backstory, or Mutsuki’s backstory, and they didn’t go into any real detail about how Mutsuki killed him. Which is all nice. I was afraid that they’d squander the subtlety and delicacy they displayed earlier in the season when they basically entirely skipped over the whole subplot with him and Torso, but this is still consistent with that. And they managed to spell it out to the audience once and for all that Mutsuki is biologically female without being TOO shitty about it. Part of me still doesn’t like it because it was part of the whole scene with Uta, but I honestly feel like the whole ‘I’m embarrassingly such a woman’ line works fine even with Mutsuki being trans. At least in the context of the anime, it mostly just comes across as self-deprecation without being an overblown ‘hurr durr he’s a GIIIRL’ twist. It’s not perfect, but thus far I think they’ve done a much better job of respecting his dignity as a character.

I also really like the change they made with how, in the anime, Mutsuki spends most of this episode hospitalized. It makes sense, since in this version of events Urie actually found him in Torso’s cave and so the CCG would be more aware that he should spend some time in the hospital to recover, whereas it was more of a complete secret in the manga and so they just immediately put him back to work. For one thing, it further emphasizes the fact that Mutsuki is a victim in all of this, and him talking to himself in the hospital was a nice way to present the ‘reveal’ of his crush on Kaneki in a largely sympathetic way. That scene also did a nice job of showing how, like Urie, Mutsuki has his own share of resentment toward Kaneki for what he’s done, though in Mutsuki’s case it’s more that he wishes that Kaneki could have saved him from what happened with Torso. I’m pretty sure that the scene with Mutsuki thinking that Kaneki had arrived at the cave only to realize that it’s actually Urie was original to the anime, and oh man it hurt to watch. In a good way, of course.

It’s also worth noting that since Mutsuki spent this whole episode hospitalized, the anime also nicely avoided the really awkward plot point of how, in the manga, Mutsuki started basically becoming a serial killer after the Rushima arc, and at the start of the Goat arc Saiko tries to confront him about how he has the smell of human blood on him. I never really liked how that whole plot point, and that specific scene, where handled in the manga, so I’m glad that the anime just avoided it entirely.

The anime also made another nice decision in having Furuta visit Mutsuki in the hospital. We don’t see the conversation happen, but it’s clear enough that he talked to Mutsuki about assigning him as the leader of the Oggai, and probably about how Furuta wants to kill Kaneki. It’s a neat way of setting up the stuff we’ll get into in the next episode, and it goes even further to make it clear that Mutsuki is an exploited victim in all of this. This whole detail also seems to be replacing the plot point from the manga where Furuta manipulates Ui into basically becoming his lackey by dangling the prospect of resurrecting Hairu over him, and I think it’s a very good change. That whole plot point never really went anywhere in the manga anyway, and to be honest Ui was always too minor of a character to really care that much about his issues, so it works better to replace it with Furuta similarly manipulating a character who we as the audience care a lot more about, and who’s also more plot important.

And on the whole note of Furuta making Mutsuki into the leader of the Oggai, I think they handled that in a more understandable and clear way than the manga did. It was a really nice detail to have Mutsuki on stage with the Oggai as they decapitate all those Clowns.

I guess that leaves us with the preview for episode 19. To be blunt, I still kinda wish that the anime wouldn’t go down the Tou/ken route, especially with how they’ve handled them thus far, but oh well, I guess they will. I have a feeling that I’m probably gonna be more OK with it than a lot of actual fans of the ship, though, since at this rate it’s definitely gonna feel rushed, and we’re probably not gonna see the whole sex scene and stuff to the degree people want.

Other than that, it looks like the next episode will also include the stuff with Yoriko and Kuroiwa getting married, which is honestly a bit surprising. I thought they might just entirely cut that out, but I guess not. It makes sense that they’d push it to the next episode, since they really seem to be focusing on the topic of romantic relationships in it. Especially since it also looks like they’re going to include the scene where Akira leaves Goat with Amon and the two of them kiss for the first time. One way or another, it definitely looks like the anime’s going to continue rearranging things so that they focus on one topic at a time, lol.

It also looks like we’re obviously gonna get the whole scene where Mutsuki attacks the cafe. And overall, I’m expecting that it’ll basically cover up to when the CCG attacks the 24th ward, but at this point I’m not entirely sure. They might end up spreading the rest of the whole Goat arc across the next three episodes.

Overall, I still think the anime is really good, and they’re continuing to improve upon the flaws of the manga a whole lot. They’re ironically being a bit more faithful to it than I would want them to be, but at the very least they’re doing a much better job of telling the same sort of story that the manga tried to.