#All I said was I was going to Max's house on the bus on Monday and he immediately gets antagonistic with me.

[sleepknoot]

Funny shit how my dad gets upset "nobody tells him anything" because on the off chance he actually pays attention to what somebody tells him, he gets all pissy and disrespectful about whatever it fucking is.

[madnessformunson]

You Belong With Me

Part 1

Summary: you’ve been Eddie’s best friend and neighbor for years. You’ve had a crush on him for a long time but he has his eyes set on Chrissy.

Note: you are Max’s older sister so in this fic you have red hair like her, not proof read

Warnings: Unrequited love, Eddie being a jerk, Lovesick reader, cussing

You can read Part 2 here

You wave to Eddie from your window, you’ve been neighbors since you were 8 years old, your bedroom windows face each other. He waved back pointing for you to come outside. You grab your bag and take off at the door calling for your sister Max, “Maxine let’s go!”

“I’m coming I’m coming” she said rolling her eyes.

You both walk over where Eddie’s van is getting ready to jump in. He takes you both to and from school everyday so you don't have to ride the bus.

“Are we hanging out tonight? It’s Friday so you know what the means!” You smiled at him.

“I really want to Red but I have a really big deal going on after school. What if I stop by afterwards?” Eddie says as he rubs your thigh.

“What? We always do this as a tradition! Every Friday night!” You pouted and pushed his hand off your thigh.

“I know sweets but we aren’t canceling just moving it back. I really need the cash”

“Fine, but you have to buy me some sour gummy worms”

“Anything for my sweetheart!” Eddie says smiling at you.

“You guys are so gross,” Max says from the back with a fake gag.

You turn up Black Sabbath as you and Eddie laugh.

Evening came and you waited in your room for Eddie to show up. It was getting late and you were starting to worry. You look out your bedroom window to see Chrissy on Eddie’s lap in deep conversation. You wanted to look away but you couldn’t. Then you witness Chrissy lean down and kiss eddie. Your heart broke right then and there. You could never compete with Chrissy freaking Cunningham. She wore a tight cheerleader outfit and listened to girly music. She was the definition of Dainty and you just… weren’t. Eddie never came over that night and you didn’t see him the rest of the weekend. Monday finally rolled around and you and Max made your way to his van for a ride. You hop in no one saying anything. You noticed Eddie driving a different way to school.

“Hey Eds I’m not sure if you are still high but you are going the wrong way to school” you tried to let out a laugh with it.

“Yeah I know I need to pick up Chrissy first”

“Chrissy as in Chrissy Cunningham? As in the Chrissy Cunningham you did a deal with Friday night?”

“Yeah y/n, she’s really nice, you would like her. We are going out on a date this weekend”

Your stomach twisted. Date? This is more serious than you thought.

He pulled up to Chrissy’s house and looked nervously at you.

“Would you mind getting in the back seat?” He said not making eye contact.

“Oh..ok” you climbed over to the back seat squished next to Max.

As the days went on Eddie ditched you more and more. He no longer took you to and from school, he was obsessed with Chrissy. Everything she did he loves. She was the picture perfect girl, you could never complete with that.

As you sat at the hellfire table, your typical seat being taken by Chrissy, the decision for the next campaign was making all of the party go wild. Until Chrissy cleared her throat, “Eds I thought you were gonna come watch me cheer Friday night” she pouted.

“I’m sorry Chrissy but there is no moving hellfire, I love it. I can come to the next game” Eddie defended.

Chrissy rolled her eyes, “it’s not the same! You never want to come support what I do”

“Eh sorry guys I have to cancel I need to be there to support my girl” he smiled at Chrissy making you cringe.

The party started discussing if they were going to move the campaign and to when.

After school you decided to go for a walk, you put your headphones on and turned up Dio. That’s when you saw Chrissy storm out of Eddie’s trailer as he sat on the front porch with his head in his hands.

“Hey…” you said as you passed by him.

“Hi”

“I’m going for a walk, want to come?”

Eddie jumped up and started walking beside you. He seemed really upset but you didn’t want to pry.

“Everything alright in lovers paradise” you chuckle but he didn’t.

“I like Chrissy I really do but I just don’t feel like she gets me you know? She’s always upset with what I do or say. I feel like she’s trying to change me inside of letting me be me” he confined in you.

“Aw I’m sorry Eds” you said back unsure of how to address this new territory.

“She’s just doesn’t get me how you do y/n”

He pulled you in and held you close. You felt your stomach twist into knots.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a bit when you decided to break it, “well I know what will make you feel better, Harrington is having a huge party tonight. You should come with me, we could have a lot of fun annoying the shit out of Steve”

“Don’t temp me with a good time sweetheart” Eddie said back with a huge smile.

You got dressed in your favorite outfit. High waisted black shorts with a black Dio tee. You had on little makeup and your hair was pulled back. You walked out of your trailer to spot Eddie.

“You look amazing y/n! Are you ready!”

You nodded hopping into the front seat like old times.

You entered the party and it was already insane. People were everywhere.

Before you knew it you were tipsy and lost track of Eddie. You finally spot him sitting on the couch completely wasted.

“Y/N! Look everyone it’s my sweetheart” Eddie called out.

You laughed a little, “should we start making our way home sir?”

“I love you y/n so so much” Eddie stated as he grabbed your hand.

“I love you too Eds”

“No I like really really love you y/n with all my heart”

Your stomach twisted a bit. As you pull Eddie up to stand and make your journey home.

As you get to his door you tell him, “well this is your stop”

He grabs onto your face with his thumbs on your cheeks, “I’m in love with you y/n you are all I ever wanted. Chrissy doesn’t know me like you do”

You blush

“I swear I’m breaking up with her tomorrow so you can be mine forever.”

“That sounds good Eds I’ll see you tomorrow”

You get him into his trailer than go to your butterflies filled your stomach. This is what you wanted for years, for him to finally notice you.

The next morning you got up excited to see Eddie, hoping he meant what he said the night before. But as you pull your curtain open you see Chrissy’s figure getting out of his bed and pulling a shirt on.

Your stomach drops. He was still with her. He didn’t mean what he said, he doesn’t want you.

[cupidsintern]

my fingertips and my lips (they burn)

a gift for @draculcid !! u r gay :/

-

Usually Billy only finds himself in the company of the one and only Steve Harrington on Friday nights. They barely cross paths at school- intentionally. School nights Billy finds himself subject to the literal hell of family dinners. But Friday nights he can say he’s going to a football game or a party or to catch a movie. And If and When Steve’s parents ever come home it’s always on Monday mornings.

And all of Billy’s happiness is localized to Friday nights. It’s gnarly compartmentalizing but it's everything to him. The drive to Steve’s house listening to his favorite music, the walk up from his car parked a few blocks away filled with anticipation, the stupid grin on Steve’s lips when he answers the door. And Billy likes getting to rip Steve’s clothes off, he likes getting off, especially if it’s on Steve’s pretty face, but the most satisfaction he gets out of Friday nights is just getting to look at Steve. Not having to count down the seconds before he should look away, not having to wonder if anyone can see him looking. He just gets to look. Sometimes he catches Steve looking back.

So imagine Billy’s surprise when he gets a phone call on a Tuesday afternoon from the one, the only. In the couple hours between getting off school and his dad getting off work, the phone rings. Max answers it, Billy’s up in his room. But a couple seconds later she’s hollering his name down the hall.

“What?” He yells back.

“Phone for you,” She sounds slightly less annoyed than usual.

“Tell them I’m dead or something!”

“It’s Steve!”

Billy’s out of his room and down the hall in seconds. But he hesitates before he takes the phone from max.

“What does he want?” Billy asks, hanging back like he doesn't have his heart in his throat. Why was Steve calling him?

“He can probably hear you, dumbass-”

Billy takes the phone, pushes her off. She pushes him back before fucking off back to the living room to watch her nerdy robot cartoon Billy pretends not to like.

“Hello?” Billy’s sure he’s given it all away with just that one word.

“Hey.” Billy can tell from Steve’s voice that he’s smiling.

“Why are you calling me?” Billy tries to sound annoyed. Not relieved. Not overjoyed. Not, well, you know.

“Am I not allowed?” “No actually. Goodbye-” “Wait, wait wait.” Steve laughs like maybe he thought Billy would actually hang up on him. “I’m calling cause I was wondering if you'd want to hangout tomorrow.”

Billy wasn't sure what he was expecting. “Tomorrow’s a Wednesday.” Is all he thinks of to say.

“Not to sleepover.” Steve reads Billy’s mind. “Just to. You know. Hangout.”

“Hangout.” Like that's something they do. “Yeah.”

Billy doesn't respond for a couple seconds.

“If you already have plans-”

“No.” Billy thinks he hears uncertainty in Steve’s voice, and he can’t have that. “I. Yeah. I’ll hang out with you.” Then, “It’ll be my good deed for the year.” Steve laughs. Billy curses the telephone gods for not doing that perfect laugh justice.

Billy won’t let Steve pick him up. Doesn't want his dad seeing who he hangs out with, and doesn't want to have to ask Steve to pick him up from a couple blocks down or some other embarrassing shit. So he’ll just leave his car in the school parking lot for the afternoon. Tell Max to skate her broke ass home if she can’t spring for the bus.

Billy spends the whole day buzzing from the inside out like a hangover for something that was yet to happen.

And he’s trying not to look like he’s nervous when Steve sees him in the parking lot and bounds over to say hey, I'm parked by the science building.

Steve does most of the talking whenever they’re together (most of the moaning, too) and right now is not different. He’s on about something someone said about someone else in one period-or-another -Billy’s not really paying attention. He just likes hearing Steve’s voice. And doesn't really know how to focus on the words.

And Billy’s been in Steve’s car before. But only in the backseat, and only at night.

It’s nice- Steve turns on the radio but says Billy can pick the station.

It smells good- smells like how everything Steve touches smells. Expensive. Warm. Sweet.

They drive for maybe a half an hour. Billy forgets to ask where they're going until they're almost there. He’s been to busy adjusting to whatever the fuck kind of social situation hanging out with someone you secretly fuck on the regular is.

The words are just out of his mouth when Steve’s pulling off the road in seemingly the middle of nowhere to park.

“This is the part where you murder me and bury my body in the woods, right?” Billy quips, idling between the door and his now empty seat.

“You overestimate me.” Steve beckons Billy around a cluster of trees and points to a very very old looking wooden sign.

West Shakamak Hiking Trail.

“State park!” He says, sticking out an arm, like it’s a grand reveal. “Well, the back of one.”

“You’re taking me. On a hike.” Billy doesn't know how he feels about this. “I’m not a husky, Harrington.”

Steve’s digging through his pockets. “Not just any hike.” He produces- ah yes. A joint.

“For a second there I thought you were going hippie dippy on me.” Billy smiles a little, already getting the lighter from his jacket pocket.

“Never.”

Maybe Steve’s idea of hanging out isn't that bad.

They’ve split joints before. But usually indoors. And Billy likes the way the smell of the joint mixes with the cool misty air out here, smells like weed and the trees. And Steve.

Steve’s telling Billy how he used to hike out here when he was in the boy scouts- of course- but there was a rockslide and it was closed for a while. Billy’s actually listening this time. Listening to Steve regaling him with the tale of the time he ate a bug on a dare. Or when he and his friends tied the nerd of their troop to a tree- Steve still felt bad about that one. And maybe it’s the joint, but Billy feels his daytime iciness melting a little, and he volunteers that he was never in boy scouts, but his mom was a real hippie, and she’d take him hiking sometimes. Then he realized he’d mentioned his mom and clammed up for a while longer. Steve either didn’t notice or didn’t put Billy on the spot.

And this was what friends did, right? Billy would do shit like this with his friends back home, but he hadn't seen their dicks. Okay, that was a lie, he’d seen most of his friends naked. Just, not in that way.

Were he and Steve friends now? Was that even possible?

“Oh, we're almost there,” Steve’s voice from up ahead pulled Billy away from his thoughts.

They’d been walking for almost-a-while. But Billy was still surprised when they emerged from the light woods onto a small pebbly cliffside. Steve walked back like he wanted to be there when Billy saw it; the view.

Off the cliffside was a wide, shallow river. And honestly Billy wouldn’t have normally been so impressed, but maybe he was just high enough. Or maybe it was that Steve had brought him here, but it was beautiful.

The drop down to the river was bathed in shadow, turning the ground purply, only a couple hours away from sunset. Light caught on the river's surface, it looked like glass. Shattering and reforming as it weaved along the cliffside. The sky around them was so blue…

“Why did you bring me here?” The words escaped Billy’s lips before he could stop them. He tore his eyes away from the view to look over at Steve- his cheeks and lips and ears were bright pink from walking in the cool, crisp air.

Steve shrugs. “I remember you said there were more, like, mountains in California so I figured. Maybe you’d like a cliff.”

Billy hadn’t realized they knew each other that well. Didn't realize he’d let himself be known that well.

They stand for a while just looking, then Steve sits on the edge, lets his legs hang over it. Billy’s a little more wary of heights, and checks to make sure there’s another ledge before sitting next to him.

The joint is almost out.

This is nice. If Billy pushes aside his obvious overthinking about how they usually spend their time together, maybe Steve was just being nice, like, doing Billy a favor as a thank you for railing him into oblivion. Or maybe he was trying to transition them from hooking up to just hanging out- or, christ, maybe he was trying to stop seeing Billy all together and felt bad, wanted to let him down easy but Billy’s been to the grand canyon and this view next to Steve is still better-

Billy’s brain goes completely quiet when he feels Steve's cold fingertips press against his on the ground between them. His heart's beating so fast it hurts- feels like it might bring tears to his eyes. Maybe that's just the hit he's taking- he’s forgotten how to exhale.

But when he does, he glances down, and sees Steve's pinky and ring fingers overlapping with his own.

It’s an invitation.

Billy isn't sure where in the hell he finds the courage to do it. But he flips his hand over.

Steve’s slides easily into it. Cold to hot.

Steve leans his head on Billy’s shoulder, resettles their hands, fingers laced. Billy can’t use any senses other than smell, flooded with Steve’s shampoo.

“Mind if I finish this?” Steve asks, grabbing the roach from Billy's nearly dead limp fingers.

“You brought it, man.”

So they aren't just friends.

And they probably aren’t just fucking either.

But they can talk about that later. Like, on their deathbeds or something.

Right now, Billy just really likes this view.

[kooksbliss]

– finishing line || jjk

→ pairing: racer!jungkook x reader

→ genre: strangers to lovers / smut (future) / fluff (future) / street racer au!

→ word count: 6.1k

→ summary: it was a normal, ordinary night out with your best friend, or so you thought. that was before she invited you to a street race, to which you caved into and went. there you met the oh so famous, jeon jungkook. 

→ warnings: hoseok makes an appearance / explicit language / mutual pinning / jungkook makes oc a hot, shy mess / pet names / teasing / this chapter is pretty sfw 

a/n: hi hi hi! hope everyone is having an amazing day <3 this will be more than one part but i don’t think this will be a very long series (i’m thinking around five chapters max) leave me suggestions or any ideas you would like me to write in my ask box! i’m down to do drabbles anytime, hope you all enjoy part one!!

— posted 04.15.2020

masterlist new masterlists | 01 | sneak peek of part 02 | 

You were tired; no, you were drained. Working black friday was no easy task, especially when you work in retail. You stretched your arms as you exited the employee break room after a long awaited break. Once you got back to the sales floor you went up to the cash register to clock back in from your break that’s when you heard someone scoff beside you. 

“It’s about time.” Hyuna stated. 

Hyuna is a co-worker of yours that well, happens to hate you for no reason, no reason you're aware of. She had been working with the company a little over a year before you got employed over the summer and ironically was placed to be your supervisor, meaning you had to be nice to her if you wanted to keep your job. 

“Sorry, Jaehyun needed some help with the stock.” You said as you punched your employee number into the system.

Jaehyun was also a supervisor but for the men’s department, he has been a close friend of yours since you started working here and knows about how Hyuna tends to treat you, unfortunately there's not much any of the two of you can do about it. 

“Well next time come straight out, Jaehyun is a big boy he can take care of himself. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be going on my break.” She said as she walked past you making sure to hit your right shoulder in the process. You looked up at the clock, thirty more minutes just thirty more minutes, you had been working for who knows how long and your feet had been begging for a rest.

Luckily since it was five in the morning there weren't too many people left in the store, but one thing you did know was that your sleeping schedule is fucked after tonight. Suddenly the chime sound from the bell that hung above the door rang out, you looked away from the clock about to greet the person who walked in, well that was until you saw who it was - to which you responded with a roll of your eyes.

“Come on don’t give me that look, y/n! You know you love me~”

“Jennie left about an hour ago, Hoseok.” 

Jennie is your best friend, you two have been friends since middle school and once her family moved next door, there was no separating the two of you. When you both graduated high school you both thought that it would be good for the both of you to have a change of scenery from the small town you lived in, that’s when you made the comment of moving out into the city, which Jennie happily agreed to. 

Jennie is from a wealthier family compared to your own she could afford going to university straight out of high school you on the other hand, didn’t have the financial support so you got this job and plan to work for another year or two before deciding on whether or not you are financially well off to go to university. She decided to move into an on-campus dorm while you found a decently well priced house, that was near your workplace and not too far from everything else, it’s been a year since you two decided to move into the city and you have loved every second of it, life was good.

“Actually I’m here for you, Jennie felt bad not being able to take you home after your shift so she asked me if I could.” Hoseok said as he walked to the side opposite of you at the checkout table.

Hoseok is Jennie’s boyfriend, they’ve been together for about eight months now and met in one of her classes freshman year. You're so glad she met him, you've never seen her happier and you know he’s good for her. As for you not being able to drive, well - a month ago some dickhead rear ended you and you’ve been waiting to see how much his insurance will cover, so you’ve been taking the bus a lot and thankfully your friends - well Jennie, has been taking you to work which is really the only place you go to outside of your house. 

“Oh, okay. Thanks Hoseok, you didn’t have to.” You said feeling bad about him having to be up at five am to take you home.

“It’s no problem, y/n! You know I’m someone you can count on.” Hoseok said as he walked around the store. “You still have thirty mintues right?”

“Yeah, sorry for making you wait.” 

“Y/n. I already said it wasn't a problem. Anyways I wanted to start my Christmas shopping early.”

As you were about to respond a lady came to the cash register.

Your shift was finally over, you clocked out and grabbed your coat from the back thankfully you didn't run into Hyuna, which is a win in your book. You caught up with Hoseok, who was waiting for you near the entrance. 

“You ready?” Hoseok asked as he looked up from his phone.

“Yep!” You exclaimed as you two left the store, looking down at his hands you noticed that he did in fact buy some things. 

Walking across the parking lot you held your coat closer to your body, the crisp November air was chilly especially in the morning. “Thank you again Hoseok.” 

“Of course, y/n. Do you want anything before we head back?”

You were hungry but, you were just too tired to put that before your sleep. “No, that’s okay I’m super tired from tonight.” Hoseok just nodded as you two reached his car, he clicked the door open and the two of you got in. It felt really nice to sit down, your legs were aching and you wanted nothing more than to lay in your bed and sleep the rest of the day away. 

The ride to your house was nice the two of you caught up and made small talk, soon you were arriving at your house. “Well, thanks for the ride! Be sure to have a safe drive back home.” 

“Of course y/n, I’ll be sure to text Jennie to tell her you made it back home safely and that I didn’t kill you.” He joked. You smiled back as you wished him a good night - well morning. Unlocking the door to your house you quickly took your shoes off and entered your bathroom where you took a quick shower, changing into your sweats and t-shirt entering your bedroom. Charging your phone you placed it on your bedside table as you laid down, sleep slowly consuming your thoughts. 

Feeling the sunlight pour into your bedroom you slowly began to wake up. Sitting up you stretch your arms up into the air and reach over to check your phone as the time reads “3:00”. You moan and groan but finally got up to do something productive for the rest of the Friday you had left. You were looking forward to the relaxing weekend you had planned ahead since you got a bit of a break from work as you didn’t have to go until Monday. 

Doing your typical morning routine you went to the kitchen to make an omelet, grabbing your phone off the counter you put your music on shuffle and started making your dish while dancing and singing along to the song.

Once you were done cooking you gave yourself a pat-on-the-back for not burning the house down. Pouring yourself a glass of juice while sitting down on the barstool you started eating your meal while scrolling down your feed liking some memes.

Ping.

You then got a message from Jennie.

You did say you wanted to be productive but really, now all you wanted to do is binge watch your show and wait for your outing with jennie.

Looking at your phone the time read “6:23” you finished the last few minutes of your show and turned off your tv and went to get ready. After you had dressed casually in booties, jeans, sweater, coat and your purse you topped your look off with light makeup. Opening the the bus app you see when the next bus would be coming and headed towards the stop near your house. 

The sun was already setting making you feel uneasy, you weren’t normally out at this time in the dark and definitely not alone. You sped up and felt your nerves calm once you reached the crowded area of the city. 

Waiting for the bus you sat on the bench and got your phone out of your pocket to check where the bus was, saying it was three minutes away.

Once the bus stopped, you got on, paid the amount and walked towards the back and sat down waiting for the stop that was closest to the restaurant. 

You arrived at the restaurant after walking about ten minutes from where the bus had left you at. You called Jennie to ask if she was already there since it was 7:15. She said that she got caught up in traffic and would be there soon and to go ahead and get a table. 

You went inside feeling your once cold cheeks warm up with the heat of the atmosphere, sounds filled your ears and the restaurant's signature dish scent reached your nose. It was busy as usual, you walked up to the main table to get a table for two, the hostess seated you in a booth towards the back. 

“WHAT?” You shouted in the middle of the restaurant causing many bystanders to give you the side eye. “Shush! Lower your voice, y/n!” Jennie whispered loudly.

Jennie had arrived around thirty minutes ago and the two of you had been chatting it up and she suddenly dropped a huge bomb on you. 

“...Wait, so Hoseok is a-”

“A street racer, yeah.” She started, “I know it sounds totally crazy and I know how you steer away from those sorts of things but, you know he’s a good guy a-and it’s been killing me not telling you.”

You stayed silent, never did you ever think that Hoseok was a racer and your mind was still trying to comprehend everything your friend was telling you. 

“And the reason why I’m telling you is because - now y/n don’t freak out or close yourself out but,” biting her bottom lip she continued, “ I wanted you to go to one of the races with me. It’s been killing me having this secret from you, and that’s only if you want to go! I’m not trying to force you either...”

You were not expecting this at all. Your friend was dating a street racer… and now she’s inviting you to one of their very much illegal races. What should you say? You want to say no you really do, it’s not your scene, plus you really just wanted to relax this weekend. 

“When is it?” You finally spoke after a good minute of silence.

“Tomorrow night.” Jennie responded, “Y/n, I just wanted to tell you about Hoseok, and he told me I should ask you if you wanted to go with us. You don’t have to say yes, and there's many more races anyways if you do decide to want to come to one.” 

You thought about what she said, and were happy that they would even think to invite you. “I’ll - I’ll think about and let you know for tomorrow if that’s alright.” 

“Yes of course y/n! Take your time. Anyways did I tell you about what my chemistry professor said yesterday? He totally was like-”

You got lost into your thoughts as you thought about what she said, normally if someone were to ask you to go to a street race you would’ve said no on the spot but for some strange reason you did want to go but you know you shouldn’t.

“Like, that’s just so rude to say and I don’t even understand why he would bring that up in the first place!” Jennie sighed.

The two of you spent the rest of the night gossiping about each of your co-workers as well as the show you were watching, but in the back of your mind you kept thinking about what she said. 

Jennie took you back home and you two wished each other goodnight. 

Walking into your house you went to your bathroom and did your nighttime routine, changed into some pjs and you promised yourself you were just going to watch two more episodes of your show. Did that happen? No, of course not. What you did however is manage to fall asleep on the couch. 

Waking up with an awful cramp in your neck you arose from the couch with a groan. “Gosh I really shouldn’t have slept on the couch.” You spoke to yourself. Today you weren’t feeling up to cook so you just had your favorite cereal and texted Jennie.

Looking down at your phone you sighed. Should you go? A part of you really wants to know about the racing scene and to see. You needed some thrill in your life and maybe this is it, this is your chance. 

You may have seemed cool, calm, and collected over text but in reality you were freaking out. You just agreed you were going to a street race in less than thirteen hours when your previous plans were to binge watch the show you’ve been watching for another season, a lot more tame for what you're now signing yourself onto. But for some reason you did want to go - it's been a long time since you've gone out anywhere else outside of your work. 

Your thoughts were racing, maybe it won't be as bad as you think it is, maybe the media just exaggerates what the reality is, maybe it’s actually super lame. You tried to make yourself feel better about your decision but you can’t help the anxious feeling inside your lower stomach.

It’s 9:49 pm and you've been staring at your closet for the last two hours, at least that’s what it felt like - it was really more like ten minutes, but still! What were you supposed to wear to these kind of things? 

You supposed wearing black is the most common thing, at least you hoped. You digged into your closet and found a pair of high waisted black joggers with vertical lines on the sides of them, a black halter, some all white sneakers and a large oversized jean jacket.  You then went to your bathroom and tried to make yourself somewhat presentable, with some light makeup and styled your hair to your liking. 

You checked your phone for the time “10:42” you felt your heart accelerate, you were excited, nervous, and anxious all at once. 

One minute soon became two, then three, and soon it was already 11:00. Your nerves were on edge. Suddenly your phone rang and you flew up three feet in the air, with shaky hands you picked up your phone Jennie’s contact lit up the screen and you answered. 

“Hey Jennie!” You said trying to sound excited to hide your nerves.

“Hey! I’m outside! Oh, and make sure to bring your ID.” 

“O-okay sure thing!” You said as you began to awkwardly laugh. You grabbed your phone and your small wallet that you slipped into the front pocket of your joggers since you didn’t want to take a purse. 

Well here goes nothing. 

After driving for what seemed like 20 minutes from your house you arrived in a secluded area where there was a pay toll like entrance and a huge line of cars wanting to go in.

“Uh, Jennie? How many people actually come to these things?” You said being genuinely surprised by how many people are lined up behind the entrance. 

“Hm. I don’t really know the exact numbers but it varies to who actually races, if they’re a fan favorite, a newbie, stuff like that.”

You supposed that made sense but still you didn’t think that there would be so many people, you’re assuming that Hoseok and his friends are fan favorite racers. 

It took 15 minutes from you two to make it to the pay toll.

“IDs?” A deep voice rang out. 

Jennie waited for you to get yours out of your wallet and then handed the man both IDs. He checked the two and looked back up at the both of you, then handed Jennie two white bands, as well as the IDs.

“Thank you.” Jennie said as the toll’s gate rose up and drove off, 

“This is so exciting! How are you feeling y/n?”

How are you feeling? You really didn’t know, it was a strange feeling that’s for sure.

“Good, just… nervous.” You softly chuckled as you looked down at your hands that you curled on your lap.

“That’s totally understandable, I was too when I came to see the first race. I wanted to be a supportive girlfriend but I actually ended up liking it.” Jennie said as the two of you arrived at a graveled parking lot, there were cars parked everywhere and you could hear the distant sound of people talking and the car's engines.

“Here you’ll need to put this on.” Jennie said as she put the white band on your wrist and you did the same for her. 

“Thanks.” You said as the two of you got out of the car.

The cold crisp air nipped at your cheeks as soon as you got out. You hugged the jacket closer to your body and met up with Jennie on the other side of the car.

“Okay! Let’s go!” Jennie said as she looped her arm around yours.

After walking for about four minutes you reached a huge crowd of people, once you two had successfully made it past the crowd you could now see the large narrow street that disappeared into the distance.

Jennie then started walking towards the left where there were a lot less people, and stood two large men in front of a pathway.

“Uh, Jennie?” You said as you cuddled closer to her - what is she doing?

“I’m with Hoseok.” Jennie ignored your questioning and spoke to the men.

“What’s the code?” Said the man on the right. Jennie then whispered what you assumed to be the code to one of the men, they both looked at each other and spread apart making room for the two of you to continue walking on the pathway. 

“Uh, what was that about? Where are we even going?” You asked Jennie once you two were a good distance from the men.

“Sorry if that freaked you out, but basically where we are going is like the VIP area for the racers and those are the bodyguards, the racers are the only ones that know the code but they can tell people too, which is why I know it because of Hoseok.” Jennie said as you two approahed two buildings, one was like an open pit stop area for the cars and the other was like a clubhouse - they really take this street racing seriously huh?

“Oh, I see. So do all the racers hang out over here?” You said as you started hearing the sounds of people getting louder and louder. 

“Yep! Hoseok is probably in his car now, getting ready for his race against Jungkook.” 

Jungkook? That name was unfamiliar to you. 

“Who’s Jungkook?” You said a bit confused.

“Oh! That’s right I forget that you don't know him, well you can meet him after the race,” She said pulling her phone out checking the time, “It’s already 12:27? The race starts in three minutes!” Jennie exclaimed and grabbed your arm taking you to the pit stop area. 

Entering the pit stop area there were a lot of people inside making the once quiet outdoors loud with excitement. You then noticed that each of the racers had their own separate rooms and the people inside were either the guests or the actual pit crew of the racer, well it’s good to know they actually have proper protection and safety. 

The racers had a gold plaque above the open room that they were in, Hoseok’s was the fourth room and you happened to notice that Jungkook’s was right next to Hoseok’s. 

“Come on y/n it’s about to start, I’m so excited!!” Jennie pulled your arm onto a couch that was placed in Hoseok’s room. A loud engine sound rang out making you jump up in your seat, it sounded so close you didn’t realise how close you actually were to the street. 

The cars were not in your view of distance yet but you could hear just how close they were, then you saw two cars one red and one black stop right in front of the room you were in. 

Out of nowhere a very slim, tall girl dressed in basically swimwear and heels holding two flags stood in the middle of the two cars, just seeing what she was dressed in made you shiver. An abrupt voice from an intercom then broke the silence.

“Welcome, welcome ladies and gentlemen, hope everyone is doing well on this cool November night. Tonight’s race is a treat for all of you, we got two of our hottest, favorite racers but I’m sure the lot of you already know that. These two don’t need any sort of introduction, of course I’m talking about Jung Hoseok-” the crowd roared out, cheers and screams rang, you felt your eardrums were going to burst. “And Jeon Jungkook.” If possible you heard the crowd scream even louder. 

“Now, let’s get this race started shall we?” The intercomer’s voice faded out and the girl lifted the two flags, “three, two, one!” She said as she lowered the flags. 

The two cars then accelerated passed her, you got up from the couch and moved to the opening of the room and saw the two cars faintly in the distance.

“They go super fast don’t they? I think Hoseok said something about going 130 mph.” That actually scared you - the fast you’ve ever gone was like 90.

“Dang, and how long does it take for them to come back?” You said as you looked down at the black and white checkered finish line that was a couple feet away from you. 

“Hm, it depends really but it usually takes eight to ten minutes. But in the meantime I like getting some snacks while I wait.” She said turning around to go to the popcorn machine that was next to the couch.

You were still looking towards the distance when you happened to look over to Jungkook’s room, there were at least five girls inside, one of which made eye contact with you and flipped you off, you quickly looked away and met up with Jennie again on the couch.

“So uh, this Jungkook guy? He seems to be a ladies man.” You said while reaching over to steal some of her popcorn.

“Hey! Well yeah, he most definitely is. Why do you ask?” Jennie’s eyes suddenly lit up as she smirked, “Y/n are you trying to get laid? I mean I thought you would be one to wait but I mean Jungkook probably wouldn’t mind fucking a virg-”

“Woah, woah Jennie!” You say as your cheeks and ears start getting red. “N-no well I - well for one I’m not a virgin! And two I asked because when I happened to look over to his room there were a lot of girls but also this one girl gave me her middle finger!” You said in almost a pouty matter. 

“Wait, you’re not a virgin? Not that it’s a bad thing if you are but, you never told me that you lost your virginity.” Jennie said a bit surprised and honestly you don’t blame her. Anyone who knows you probably thinks you haven't got a freaky bone in your body. “But as far as the girl who flipped you off - that was probably Lisa for some reason she thinks that her and Jungkook are together when he himself has made it clear that he’s not into her in that way. She even got jealous of me before she found out I was with Hoseok and not Jungkook.” 

“Oh, then maybe that’s why she flipped me off, but I don’t even know him. A-and about that I uh, lost it the night of junior prom with my date.” You said looking anywhere but her, for some reason you always get shy talking about sexual things, also you didn’t see the hype around it your first time wasn’t as magical as you thought it would have been and people hyped sex up so much you just thought it would be different, you didn’t even climax!

“Oh well maybe you can tell me about it at a better time-” The sound cars’ engines could be heard again and Jennie jumped up. 

“Come on! Let’s see who’s in the lead!” Grabbing your arm the two of you stepped into the open area of the room to where you can see the cars in the distance but on the opposite of which they started. The black car seemed to be the one in the lead but not by much.

In a matter of seconds it seemed, the two cars then passed the finish line, but it was so close that neither you or Jennie could tell who won.

“Well, well, well ladies and gentlemen it seems that this race was indeed a close one, but winning by three seconds more, Jeon Jungkook won tonight’s race. Be sure to stick around to see your favorite racers, that’s all for tonight folks have a good night.” The intercomer wished his goodnights and what was left was the cheers from the crowd. 

The sound of the car door opening reverted your attention to the two racers, Hoseok was the first one to come out of the red one, that meant that Jungkook’s was the black one. You and Jennie waved over to Hoseok as he smiled and waved back.

You looked over to the black car once again only to see the girls you saw in the room along with Lisa were swarming him before he even got a chance to get out. Then you heard the car door opening and you felt the world stop.

Jungkook removed his helmet as he flashed a smile and one of the girls, the one you were told was Lisa then wrapped her arms around him. Then you felt your heart in your throat, he looked at you at least you think he looked at you, regardless you blushed and looked away from what seemed to be his stare directed towards you. 

Hoseok then came up to Jennie and kissed her, “Honey, that was a close good race, but you did good.” Jennie said with a smile.

“Thank you, baby.” He said as he leaned back down to plant another kiss on her lips. You felt so awkward, it was like you were third wheeling, you just looked at the ground trying not to make eye contact with your best friend’s makeout session.

“Okay, okay we get it lovebirds.” An unfamiliar voice said, causing you to look up.

And there he was. Jungkook was absolutely breathtaking, you never thought that someone could look this good close up. You were so mesmerized that you didn’t realize you were staring.

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you it was rude to stare, sweetheart?” Jungkook said to you to which you didn’t even reply until you felt Jennie’s and Hoseok’s eyes on you too.

“O-oh I’m sorry.” You said looking down, this is why you don’t go out, you just don’t fit in. You were jizzing your pants just looking at the man who doesn’t want anything to do with you, or even knows your name as a matter of fact. 

“Aw, sweetie that’s alright. No need to get all shy on me, I don’t bite unless-”  

“Jungkooookie!~” Lisa ran up to the group cutting off whatever Jungkook was going to say and hung onto him, “That was such a good race! I knew you would win, no offense Hoseok.” 

“Yeah, none take-” Hoseok started but Lisa, you supposed has a habit of cutting people off.

“So Jungkookie, do you want to go out for dinner with me? It can be a celebratory thing, I even have dessert for you whenever we get to your place.” She said as she sent a wink his way. You could only imagine what she meant making your face red with the thought.

“Actually I might have to cancel-” He answered, removing her arms around his torso. “I was thinking about going with Hoseok, Jennie and-” He paused looking to you. “What’s your name sweetheart, I’ve never seen you around here?” 

You felt your heart stuck in your throat anytime he would even breathe in your direction, the more seconds passed the more you felt yourself grow hot.

“I-it’s y/n.” You said as you mentally slapped yourself for stuttering. “And uh, it’s my first time to a race.”

Jungkook hummed. “Ah, I see. What a pretty name for such a pretty girl.” He said with such sincerity, looking straight into your eyes. You really thought you were going to faint, was he really saying this to you? 

“You're joking. Jungkook, there’s no way you would rather go with them, her, rather than going with me?” He didn’t answer but instead kept staring at you, while you just stared back with wide eyes. 

“Jungkook!” He finally tugged his eyes away from you as Lisa exclaimed and pulled onto his arm.

“Actually I think I would, and I will. Maybe another time hm?” Jungkook said as he looked over to Hoseok. “What do you say? Want to treat me to a celebratory dinner, loser.” He said in a joking matter directed to Hoseok.

“Since you won and I’m such a good friend, I’ll treat you for tonight.” Hoseok said.

“Great-” Jungkook started, “You’re coming right y/n?”

“O-oh I don’t - it’s late a-and-” 

“She’d love to, Jungkook.” Jennie jumped in, you gave her “the look” to which she ignored. “What? Come on, you were taking some of my popcorn earlier, surely you're hungry.”

She was right you were hungry but just thinking about being in a room with Jungkook made you already want to die in a hole from embarrassment, you don't even know the guy and he has such an impact on you. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll go too.” You said still looking at Jennie missing the way Jungkook’s eyes lit up. 

“Uh, what about me Jungkookie? I thoug-” Lisa started, 

“Actually Lisa, can we have a rain check? I want to spend some time with my friends.” 

“Ugh, whatever. You know where to find me when reality hits you.” Lisa said looking at you as she rolled her eyes and walked away with a huff.

“Sounds good, let’s all meet at the restaurant. Jungkook you drove here right?” Jennie asked.

“I did, I drove Hoseok here as well.” Jungkook answered. 

“Hm, well Hoseok can come with me and, y/n, why don’t you go with Jungkook?”

Your eyes almost just shot out of your eyes, was she serious? You’d rather go with them and feel like a third-wheel rather than go in a vehicle alone, with him. You could already see it, you making a fool of yourself.

You felt everyone’s eyes on you as they awaited your response. But you didn’t want to be rude and it’s just a 20 minute car ride, it won’t be that bad, at least you hoped. 

“Uh, yeah sure, if he doesn’t mind.” You said looking over to him only finding him already looking at you. You felt your heart rate increase, something about how he looks at you makes you feel strange, and you couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.

“Of course I don’t mind babygirl.” He saids with a slight smirk walking towards you whereas you felt yourself heat up with the pet name. “Now, shall we?” 

The walk to Jungkook’s car was short and quiet, maybe he came to the earth revolving revelation that you really weren’t that special and that he’s wasting his time. Being captivated in your thoughts you didn’t even notice that Jungkook, who was beside you, stopped walking.

“Woah, woah babygirl, are you already trying to escape?” Jungkook said with a chuckle. 

“Huh?” You turned around with a confused expression painted onto your face. You then noticed that he stopped at a parked car with keys in his hands. “W-well how was I supposed to know this was your car!” You said walk towards his car.

Jungkook put his hands up against his chest as a surrender, “Yes, you’re right, my fault.” Walking to the other side of the car you open the door still very nervous due to the fact that you’re about to be in a confined space with him.

Whipping around to put your seatbelt on, you felt your phone vibrate, causing you to accidentally drop it in the cup holder between the two of you. Reaching over to get your phone, Jungkook did the same thing causing the two of you to rub your hands against each other. “S-sorry.” You said as you pulled your hand away, still feeling his hand lingering next to yours, it’s almost scary how your body reacts towards him. Man you really needed to get laid again. 

“No worries it is your phone after all.” Jungkook said as he held your phone up, he didn’t mean to look down at your phone but he just happened to, “Hm, who’s Kyle?” Kyle… Kyle??! Why is he messaging you, you grabbed the phone out of his hand and looked down at the message. Just a simple “Hey” was displayed on your screen, why is he messaging you after all these years?

“Oh, he’s nobody just someone I went to high school prom with, I really don’t know why he’s messaging me.” You said as you looked down confused at your phone, but decided not to respond. 

“So do you know where we’re going?” Jungkook rang out, “Oh! Not yet but let me text Jennie.” You responded. As you waited for her response you felt this awkward tension as you looked at the plain grassy field in front of you. “So, uh Jungkook?” You said turning to look towards him, “What got you into racing?”

“Hm, we haven’t even gone out and you’re already asking for my life’s story?” You suddenly felt super invasive, “Sorry I didn’t mean to seem nosy.” You said as you look away, staring back towards the field. You felt cold fingertips graze the side of your right cheek as Jungkook turned you to look towards him. “You didn’t babygirl, I just- don’t really like to talk about it.” He said as he stares at you, you begin to blush, surely he could feel it as his hands are gripping your face. You felt electric, you never met someone that had such an effect on you and you didn’t really know why. You knew you really have, but you just couldn’t resist as your eyes moved down from his eyes and onto his lips, he must have seen this as he then began to move towards you.

“J-jungkook…” He stops moving and just stares into you, removing his hands away. Jungkook cleared his throat looking straight on as you stayed in the same position, shocked. You almost just kissed a man you didn’t even know, it’s strange - you don’t even know him yet it feels so right being with him. Maybe it was only you that felt this way but you could have sworn you could see a rosy hue on his cheeks. 

Ping. 

You felt your phone vibrate as you got another message, this time from Jennie.  

You choked on your own spit as you read the message in your head, you were going to kill her.

“Woah, what’s wrong are you okay?” Jungkook said as he looked over to you, “Y-yeah uh, Jennie said that something came up so it’s just us two, y-you can just drop me off if you like. We don’t have to do anything-”

“Y/n. It’s fine, I don’t mind, really.” He said as he put the car in reverse, “Now, let’s go get something to eat babygirl.” 

taglist: @krystle1990, @lurkerarmy​, @olivialovemason88​ @eclivpses @hinawariinoue97 @chimshoe95​ — (let me know if you would like to be added!)

© kooksbliss - all rights reserved

[prettyoddfever]

Panic at the Disco in American Valley

here's a tag for pictures

Panic at the Disco was MTV’s Artist of the Week starting on Monday, April 7th in 2008 (the Honda Civic Tour started later that week). The Buzzworthy post announcing this said:

You’ll either be incensed or elated that Panic At the Disco is this week’s MTV Artist of the Week. Or you might not even recognize them — the band that used to sound like nervous teenagers trapped in a fun house with a few synthesizers, some Ringling Brothers costumes, and a severe anxiety disorder dropped the extraneous punctuation, stopped writing songs with titles that could double as character-count-maxing Twitter updates, and completely revamped their sound.

Three years and several personal triumphs and tragedies (the death of Ryan Ross’ father, the replacement of Brent Wilson with Jon Walker and the ensuing fallout, scores of sold-out shows, a Grammy nomination) after selling more than two million copies of their debut album, A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, Panic is now all grown up. And, for a band that’s taken a lot of s— from knee-jerk anti-emo reactionaries, they appear more determined than ever to keep on the sunny side.

Of all of the blogs, comments, articles and talk of Panic’s transformative sophomore album, Pretty. Odd. (which impressively debuted at #2 its first week out) and its similarities to the Kinks, the Beach Boys, the Beatles and ELO, perhaps the most astute and succinct observation was that of Spin magazine writer Barry Walters, who summarized the new album’s tone thusly: ‘Pretty. Odd. lives up to its title because it dares to be optimistically beautiful at a time when sadness and ugliness might have won them easier credibility.’

Indeed, the album bounces and shines with harmony and hope (just enough zeal without too much eye-roll-inducing zest — vigor without the nauseating vim), indicating that Panic seems to have gotten over the paranoia and angst and dared to be confidently, even outwardly, happy. And seriously, who besides the Jonas Brothers (and maybe Sean Kingston) does that these days?

And speaking of happiness minus extreme cheesiness (cautious optimism, if you will), what could be happier — or more classic rock — than a good, old-fashioned American road trip in a VW van? Watch Panic embark on the most surreal journey of their lives (which is saying a lot considering they’re from Las Vegas) in their Artist of the Week video spots all this week on MTV.

Short video clips that were 15-40 seconds long aired during commercials that week (this fan still has them on their youtube). MTV also had a short clip of the acoustic Nine in the Afternoon performance online and then the full video was posted a bit later. (There were other Artist of the Week interviews + pictures too, but I’m just focusing on the American Valley content in this post). All of the promo pictures were taken by Bryan Hainer.

Oh, and Ryan’s whole cheese whiz line didn’t become a *thing* until after the split... I have no idea why people latched onto that but it’s interesting lol.

FILMING THE VIDEO

The band shot the American Valley video in March after they returned from their European tour. They shared some pictures from the shoot on FOE before the end of the month. 

Brennan Stasiewicz wrote and directed the shorts within American Valley. Here are some of his comments about the shoot:

“Once the band, cast and crew were all inside the inflatable dragon, chaos ensued. It was nearly impossible to balance yourself while standing, mostly because the weight on the inside was too much for the air pump to bear. The word from outside the dragon is that it started going limp, slowly deflating away.”

“Brendon had no problem at all driving the fully restored 1962 VW bus. The only problem was that the speedometer was broken. Fortunately the green machine couldn’t go faster than about 50 mph.”

“The shakers used in the video were bought at the small town store in Nipton, CA where they were performing.”

“As the cast of Little Miss Sunshine can attest to, being inside a VW bus in the middle of the desert, with no windows open, makes for a long, hot day. Inside the van were the band and three crewmembers: a cameraman, audio man, and the director. Because of the tight space, the director had to lie down and hide in the back of the van, which unfortunately is right above the hot engine.”

MTV said the footage was shot in Baker & Nipton in California, as well as Jean in Nevada. Some fans later went on a road trip to take pictures at as many locations as possible and their pictures were pretty fun.

The full American Valley video at the top of this post was included on the dvd that came with the Live in Chicago cd, which was released in December 2008 at the end of the Pretty. Odd. era. Alt Press asked Spencer more about how the band made the video:

“We basically get together with [MTV], tell them the concept or theme of it, and that was our theme--that we were driving home from that tour in California to Vegas, and along the way, we stopped at different kind-of-famous spots that have been in movies and stuff. They wanted to get a couple things from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. It seemed like a cool concept, [and] we play some of the songs acoustic. But at that time, we had never done the songs acoustic; we had never learned them. So the two days leading up to us [were] just us trying to figure out [how] we're gonna do all these songs. So I think we were a little bit rough on those, but maybe it's a good thing for the bonus feature.”

Spencer was asked if the VW bus was theirs:

“Oh man, I wish that was ours. It [belonged to] some guy who restores [vehicles like that] in California and they found it. We showed up in Barstow, which is halfway between Vegas and L.A. and they had it there in the morning. We were like, ‘Fuck, man, this thing is awesome. Wish I could just drive it home.’ But there was no AC, so the whole time we were driving, we're just sweating our asses off and there were like three camera guys and the four of us in that little thing the whole time. So it was fun, but I don't know if I'd want to drive that thing everyday.”

THE MAIN POST

[xpedropascal]

To Be So Lonely [Maxwell Lord x Reader] Part Three

Summary: After being struck by a family tragedy, Maxwell Lord finds his legacy in taking over his father’s business, Black Gold Cooperative. Cold and shut-off from the world around him, he decides he does not have time for anything other than his work and cares only about pushing his company to success – but how difficult does that become for him when you enter his life as a ghost from the past?

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

WARNINGS: mention of suicide, character death, illness (cancer)

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR [coming soon!]

MASTERLIST

KO-FI

AUTHOR’S NOTE: chapter three! this is quite an intense one so please check the warnings before reading. flashbacks can be identified through use of italics. To Be So Lonely will have themes of hurt/comfort, angst, fluff etc. i plan on it being a whole exciting ride. there will be connections to the DCEU and certain characters will making an appearance… however, for story-telling purposes, this will be in an alternate universe to Wonder Woman 1984 just because the movie has yet to be released. the main bulk of the story will be set in the 80s, with the occasional childhood flashbacks. please let me know if you want to be added onto a tag list!

♡ ♡ ♡ THREE ♡ ♡ ♡

You were still frozen, your brain struggling to process what had just happened. It wasn’t until city hall’s bell chimed and you knew it had turned 6PM, you were snapped out of your thoughts. You cursed under your breath and hurriedly put the cloth and spray you were holding behind the counter before bolting into your manager’s small make-shift office. On his desk, you located an ivory envelope, sealed, with your name written on it. You knew exactly what it was and ripped it open on instinct, collecting this month’s salary. Flicking your fingers through the green dollar bills, you found yourself mentally calculating how much your work this month had earned you. You sighed, puffing out your cheeks and feeling disheartened. Only $320. Grabbing your jacket and purse, you locked up the coffee shop.

When you stepped foot on the street outside, you took in the cool evening air. It felt so refreshing. Every pay day, you knew exactly where you needed to go and what you’d be spending your salary on. Swinging your purse over your shoulder you jogged over to the pharmacy just a few blocks away, and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw that the kind owner had yet to close. You stumbled in, trying to catch your breath and offered the owner of the pharmacy a warm smile. “Hi Mrs Walters,” you greeted her.

“Hi dear, how was work?” She leaned her sweeping brush into a corner and approached you, rubbing your shoulders in a comforting manner. You had been seeing Mrs Walters consistently more or less since you moved back to Gotham, and had grown increasingly close to her. You didn’t have time for friendships anymore, but the short, white haired lady had always been there for you during the darkest of times. You considered telling her about your run-in with Bruce Wayne, but figured that wouldn’t be the best idea since you were still trying to make sense of it all.

“It was okay. Same old. Do you have my mother’s prescription ready?” You quizzed Mrs Walters. The pharmacist gave you a knowing look and grabbed a rather large paper bag with Lucia Y/L/N (your mother’s name) written on it. The bag was filled with pills and potions used to make your mother’s life just that little bit easier. Upon leaving DC, your mother became sick but as you watched her health deteriorate, and knowing there was no cure for her illness, you swore to yourself you would do anything in your means to make her life as comfortable as could be. If that meant spending almost the entirety of your monthly salary on her, so be it.

“Yes, that will be $300.” Mrs Walters said, her fingers clicking away as she checked the numbers into the cash register. You pulled out your wages from your purse and handed them over to the pharmacist. Despite Mrs Walters giving you discount like she always would, it didn’t change the fact you had only just been paid and were now practically spent up for the month. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ at the kind lady, offering her a polite smile, and took the heavy paper bag filled to the brim with medication. With only twenty dollars to last the rest of the month, you decided to against getting the bus and travelled home by feet. It’s a mild night anyway- you told yourself.

♡

“Mother, with all due respect…” Maxwell Lord rolled his eyes as his mother paced around the spacious kitchen of Maxwell Lord’s DC penthouse, her high heels clicking against the pristine tiled floor. Thanks to botox from DC’s finest plastic surgeons, Naomi Lord had barely aged. She was still strutting around in that same ruby red lipstick, decked out in the most elegant pearls retrieved from the deepest part of the ocean, and her platinum blonde hair still sat in the tightest of curls.

“No Maxwell, you need to listen to me. I am not going to watch you make the same mistakes as your father did. Wasting away your shares in Black Gold like it’s nothing!”

Maxwell sighed, gently putting down his mug of espresso on the kitchen counter and closing his copy of The Financial Times. “It’s called investment.”

“Investing into what, exactly? Charity?” Naomi chuckled in disbelief. “Just like your father.” She reiterated. “Had some kind of complex, thinking he could singlehandedly fix the world by donating a few thousand to- what? The local library?” Naomi narrowed her eye’s at the cheque which had been written out in Maxwell’s name. Maxwell made a fist.

“I am nothing like my father.” Maxwell snapped, abruptly standing and pointing his ring clad finger, wincing at his mother’s painful comparison. Naomi suddenly quietened down, taking the hint that she had perhaps overstepped her boundaries. But she, like her son, was not one to give up.

“Sweetheart,” Naomi said, her voice gentle as she sat her son back down. “You know, all I’ve ever wanted is what’s best for Black Gold Cooperative. Because what is best for Black Gold Cooperative, is best for you.”

Maxwell’s mother had been telling her son this every single day after his father passed. After his father had selfishly chosen to leave him. It was no wonder he had engrained into him that his main priority was the family business. He was so sure he could never forgive his father for what he had done.

♡

When sixteen year old Maxwell Lord discovered his father’s body, the cry he let out was not one any mother wanted to hear from their child. Not even Naomi Lord. Maxwell fell to his knees and crawled over to his father’s body, grabbing on to it and swearing he’d never let go. Tears streaming down his face, he screamed for his mother. He yelled for help. Naomi came running into her husband’s office where she was met with her son, cradling Maxwell Lord III’s lifeless body on the floor.

“Oh Max, oh Max, oh Max,” she whispered repeatedly as she approached her son and gently tore him away from his father. Maxwell screamed as he let go and curled into his mother’s arms, sobbing. Naomi’s heart was shattered, and she buried her face into her son’s dark blonde hair, comforting him the best she could. She sat with Maxwell, on the floor, for only a few minutes, until she was able to compose herself and stand up. She took her son’s hand and pulled him up. “Sit here. Sit here my love, I’m going to call Lucia.” Naomi pulled her husband’s office chair out and watched her son shakily sit in it. She handed him a box of tissues and walked over to the phone, dialling the extension to the guest house. “Ah yes, Lucia it seems I could use your assistance. In my husband’s office. Quickly.” Naomi put the phone down and took a deep breath. “Okay Maxwell, brighten up. No time to mourn. Things are going to change real fast for you,” she rubbed the tears away from her son’s eyes. “Look at me. I need you to go to your room and change into your best suit, and then wait for me in the lobby.”

“But dad-“ Maxwell whimpered, and turned to look at his father one last time.

“I won’t ask you again.” Naomi said sternly. Maxwell nodded obediently and stood up before leaving the office.

Naomi watched her son leave, stiffening up and kneeling beside her husband on the floor. With great difficulty, she was able to regulate her breathing and hold back any tears. Hidden in the pocket of his suit jacket, she found a note. Unfolding it, she read her husband’s final words.

‘Naomi,

This was never meant to happen. Lord Tech was a failure- my failure. I always knew you were against the expansion of Black Gold Cooperative but with Wayne Enterprises’ taking over the states, I felt like I had no other choice. We’re losing money, and a lot of it. As of today, I will be disenfranchising Lord Technologies. It will be no more; for I have made a discovery, that our company, our family business, has been creating and selling carcinogenic products. I am filled with extreme guilt. How am I to go on, when it is our family name that will be responsible for hundreds of deaths worldwide.

On the second Monday of March, I asked our house-keeper, Lucia, to collect my belongings from our head laboratory. Naomi, darling, I have no doubt that she will be infected with the illness. Everyone who has been in proximity with our head lab developers will now have the cancer. I feel for her daughter. I found out that the cancer is a new strain. Lucia knows nothing about this and I expect for it to stay that way. The outbreak will make news eventually but it cannot be associated with my family name. The Lord family has nothing to do with this. Hide my note, and when the time comes, pass it on to my boy Maxwell, when he is old enough to understand.

Oh my dearest Maxwell… my wife, you should ensure he does not make the same mistakes as I did. Black Gold Cooperative still has a chance of success and our family legacy must go on! But not under my rule. Which is why, I will be passing on the business to him. Black Gold is our priority. It will always be our priority.

My boy, on the chance that you read this, know that I have always loved you. I’ve not been the best father, but even in death know that I have always cared so deeply about you.

Make me proud.

With love,

Maxwell Lord III’

Naomi gulped, folding away the note and slipping it into the pocket of her fur jacket.

“Mrs Lord,” Lucia appeared by the office door frame and when she caught sight of Maxwell Lord III’s dead body she gasped, stumbling backwards.

“Suicide,” Naomi explained, raising to her feet. “Lucia, are you sick?”

“I’m okay,” Lucia knotted her eyebrows in confusion, but she had no time to question it. “Mrs Lord… I am so… so sorry…”

“Lucia I need you to call an ambulance and report a suicide,” Naomi instructed.

“Did he leave a note?” Lucia asked.

Naomi hesitated before letting out a strong “No.”

“Oh…”

“Call the press too.” Naomi said.

“The press?”

“I’ll be the one to announce my husband’s demise… not some random paparazzi selling the story to the tabloids. I also have to announce the closure of Lord Technologies. From now on, our focus will be on Black Gold Cooperative… it’s what my husband would’ve wanted.” Naomi replied, the usual bitterness dripping from her tongue.

“You’re taking over Black Gold?” Lucia questioned further.

“No, my son is.”

“But Max is just a child…”

“My son will be CEO of Black Gold Cooperative. He is a Lord. He has what it takes.”

Lucia gulped. “I have no doubt but don’t you think you should give him a little time to grieve before you throw all this at him.”

“Are you telling me how to raise my son, Ms Y/L/N?” Naomi spat and Lucia looked at her feet. “I want you to call the authorities, call the press, pack your bags and leave before they get here.”

“Leave?” Lucia gasped. “But- but I have nowhere to go. And my daughter-“

“That is my final order.” Naomi said, pointing her finger towards the door.

♡

Maxwell took a sip of his now cold espresso, it left a sour taste in his mouth. He reopened his newspaper and shook off his mother’s words.

“Maxie,” Barbara Minerva’s voice made Maxwell jump. She had the same effect on him as his mother did. She called his name again before finding him still sat at the breakfast bar.

“Barbara what are you doing here?” Maxwell sighed, feeling slightly uneasy at the way her diamond engagement ring glinted in the white lights of his kitchen. “You know not to come to my penthouse uninvited.”

“Your mother faxed me. She’s called the tabloids again… anonymously, of course. The press are going to be waiting for us at the Plaza restaurant on Sunday. She wants us to officially announce the engagement.” Barbara smiled, wrapping her arms around Maxwell and pressing a kiss into his jaw.

“Don’t.” Maxwell said, shuddering away from her. “You don’t touch me. Don’t kiss me. Just. Don’t.” Maxwell was filled with the regret of getting intimate with Barbara, his secretary, in his office the night before. Now Barbara was overstepping her boundaries. She might have been engaged to Maxwell, but he did not tolerate any physical affection from her unprompted. If this is what love was, Max didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. He was still cold, and still miserable.

Naomi had set Barbara and Maxwell up and within three months they were already engaged. Barbara was truly smitten with Maxwell. He had everything she wanted; money, fame, power and fortune… and Barbara was certainly beautiful, but Maxwell had never really considered marriage. Not since he was a child and used to dream of marrying the little girl who lived in his guest house.

“Max.” Barbara had been chanting her fiancée’s name for the past couple of minutes. It seemed like Maxwell was in his own little world.

“Yeah. We can’t go to the Plaza on Sunday.” Max shook his head, standing up and fixing his tie.

“What?”

“I have a lot to do. Gotta prepare for my meeting with Bruce Wayne for a start. Do you have my schedule for Monday?”

“Max, I’m only your secretary when I’m at work…” Barbara reminded the CEO. “We haven’t been on a date in so long. I know this is your mother’s doing but please… I want the world to know I’m going to be the future Mrs Lord.”

Maxwell stared at his bride-to-be for a few moments before letting out another deep sigh. “Okay,” he agreed. “Come on. You can share a ride with me. Don’t want to be late for work.”

♡

“Mom! I’m home!” you called as you entered your Gotham apartment, throwing your keys on the counter and gently placing the brown paper bag of medication down. “You won’t believe who came into the shop and asked me out on a date.”

Your eyes caught on to your mother, Lucia, who was laying on the sofa, sleeping. Her chest was rattling as it heaved up and down. She looked even worse than she did before you left her to go to work that morning. You walked into the kitchen and took a towel, running it under the tap to dampen it. You brought it back into the living room and placed it gently on your mother’s forehead hoping to cool her down. You brought her a glass of ice, knowing it would have melted into water by the time she wakes up, and a bottle of pills, putting it near her on the coffee table. You gave her a gentle kiss, kicked off your shoes and entered your bedroom.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you looked at your reflection in your full length mirror and began fumbling with your fingers. How could you possibly prepare yourself for a date with Bruce Wayne?

♡♡♡ TAGLIST ♡♡♡

@mrschiltoncat​ @seasonschange-butpeopledont​ @thisisthe-way​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @buckysalefty​ 

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette/Lila Fake-Dating/Emotional Blackmail: Betting Against the House: Chapter Nine

Read it on AO3: Betting Against the House: Chapter Nine: Containment/Contentment

“Lila!” Adrien called out, raising his hand in greeting. “Hey. Good morning.”

“Good Morning, My Prince!” she sang as she trotted up to meet him, leaning in for a kiss.

He caught her by the shoulders and held her back with a sheepish, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing?” she whispered through a pasted-on smile so that her lips didn’t move and no one would overhear.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, loud enough so that their classmates not a stone’s throw off could make out their conversation clearly. “I need to talk to you.”

She blinked, thrown off guard by this adlibbed performance.

“When I asked you out last week, that wasn’t actually my idea. It was my father’s,” he pretended to confess, all the while looking like it pained him.

“What?” she spit tersely as she blinked again in confusion.

“My father thought it would be good publicity, since there’s been all that talk about whether or not we’re a couple over the past few years, so he told me to ask you out,” Adrien lied, having no qualms about throwing his father under the bus.

“I literally can’t say no when he tells me to do something,” Adrien explained, really selling the performance with an anguished grimace. “I’m sorry. I knew it was wrong to mislead you into thinking that I returned your feelings, but I don’t.”

“What are you doing?” Lila hissed through clenched teeth. “You can’t break up with me. We had a deal.”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Adrien pressed on. “I’m ashamed of what I did, and I hope you can forgive me someday. Just know I never meant to hurt you; that’s why I’m ending this before it can go any further.”

“I’m going to make Marinette pay for this,” Lila threatened under her breath in a last-ditch effort to exert control and keep what was happening from happening.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien reiterated, turning to go.

She stepped forward, reaching out to grab him, but the girls were on her like ravenous wolves ready to devour her down to the marrow in her bones in seconds.

Marinette and Adrien made their escape to the classroom with the guys as bodyguards as the girls descended upon Lila, pouring comfort and condolences upon her.

At first Lila was in shock and still angry at Adrien’s insolence. No one had ever defied her before, and she wasn’t about to let him get away with this.

But the girls formed a tight circle around her, blocking her path, and soon Lila gave in and basked in the sympathy and attention, reasoning that she could shred Adrien and Marinette to pieces later.

 Once in the classroom, the girls herded Lila to her seat like sheepdogs, keeping themselves between Lila and Adrien and Marinette.

“I’ll sit in back with Lila,” Mylène volunteered, patting Lila’s hand. “She shouldn’t be alone today.”

All the girls agreed and promptly formulated a schedule so that Lila would never have to be alone during the coming week.

 The lunch bell sounded without incident, but as they were packing up to go, Lila called out to Adrien, “Can I talk to you real quick? I just have something I need to say. I was too shocked this morning to think straight.”

Everyone exchanged looks.

“It’s okay,” Adrien assured. “Of course we can talk.”

“Provided you don’t mind if I’m there too,” Marinette cut in.

Mylène tugged on Lila’s arm. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? We’re worried about this upsetting you. We wouldn’t want Papillon to take advantage of your emotions and akumatize you. Do you want one of us to stay behind with you?”

Lila shook her head, resting her hand on top of Mylène’s and giving it an appreciative squeeze. “No. I’ll be okay. Thank you, though, everyone. I think I can talk to Marinette and Adrien by myself.”

Reluctantly, the class filed out, leaving Marinette, Adrien, and Lila alone.

“Don’t worry,” Max whispered as some of the others started to huddle by the doors to try to listen in. He motioned them over towards the stairs. “Markov is on a secret spying mission, and he’s recording in case we need evidence later. Come over here, and we can listen in through the transceiver in case something happens and Marinette and Adrien need a rescue.”

Back in the classroom, Lila looked almost feral as she glared her nemeses down venomously, promising, “I am going to end you.”

“Why?” Adrien scoffed. “Lila, I let you be the victim. I didn’t publicly embarrass you. I didn’t even say anything bad about you to anyone.”

Lila scoffed. “Oh, besides her, you mean?”

“Knock it off, Lila,” Marinette sighed. “This is Adrien’s dad’s fault, not his. He’s the one who made Adrien deceive you and ask you out against his will. Yes, Adrien should have said no, but you and I both know how under his father’s thumb Adrien is. There’s no point in bearing Adrien a grudge.”

Lila’s left eyebrow arched quizzically. “He didn’t tell you what I did, did he?”

Marinette made a show of blinking in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Lila laughed, shaking her head. “Adrien, you’re too chivalrous. I can’t believe you actually didn’t tell anyone. You’re such a martyr.”

Marinette turned to Adrien. “What is she talking about?”

Lila snorted, delighting in revealing her scheme. “He’s been my good little puppet for years, doing what I want in order to protect you.”

Marinette feigned shock and revulsion. It wasn’t especially difficult to conjure up emotions she really had been experiencing less than twelve hours before.

“But now, he’s stopped playing along,” Lila growled, “and there’s nothing left standing in my way. I’m going to burn you to the ground, Marinette.”

Adrien reached out and grabbed Marinette’s hand, squeezing it tightly in order to comfort both himself and her.

“I’m going to ruin you, and you’ve given me the perfect excuse because now you’re the slut who stole my boyfriend.” Lila gave her hair a haughty flip as she descended the steps and started to make her way towards the classroom door. “I’m going to burn you alive and make him watch while I do it.”

Adrien pulled Marinette into his arms protectively, trembling at the thought of something happening to her and him being powerless to stop it.

“Shhh, Chaton,” Marinette cooed as Lila made her exit. “It’s going to be okay. She can’t hurt me.”

“God, I hope not,” he choked, shaken to his core. “I just feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“No,” she assured, wrapping her arms around him and beginning to sway from side to side like her parents did when they comforted her. “You did what needed to be done, even though it was hard…and everything’s going to be fine because you’ve got me…and I’ve got you.”

“And all we need is love?” he chuckled even as his teeth chattered.

“You’re going to start singing, aren’t you?” she laughed.

“All you need is love,” he did, indeed, begin to sing, performing both parts of the duet as she laughed until she couldn’t help it anymore and deigned to join him.

After their duet, they headed over to the bakery to eat a nice, cozy lunch in peace.

 Meanwhile, outside the classroom, their classmates descended upon Lila.

“Are you okay?” Rose demanded tearfully as streams of liquid betrayal trickled down her cheeks.

“That must have been awful,” Alix threw in in an attempt to fulfill her mission.

“Oh, it was,” Lila assured, raising her arm up to her forehead in a show of wooziness. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the day.”

“We’re here for you,” Mylène promised, voice shaky in her shock.

“Yeah, and I think we need to continue to be there for Lila,” Alya asserted, brow furrowed in three deep, parallel trenches as she funneled half of her mental energy into containment plans for Lila to keep her the hell away from Marinette and Adrien.

“I don’t think Lila should be by herself tonight. I think we need to have a sleepover,” Alya declared, and the rest of their classmates nodded in agreement.

Lila blinked. “A sleepover? On a Monday? I don’t think any of our parents would allow that.”

Juleka raised her hand. “My mom won’t care if we party until dawn.”

“The Capitaine would happily out-party all of us,” Rose chuckled, her tears beginning to dry a bit at the thought.

“Yeah, and my brother is off limits, but he’s got some hot friends,” Juleka informed. “If you like university guys…. I mean, at least I think they’re considered ‘hot’. I can’t really tell personally.”

“It’s settled, then. Party on the Liberty,” Alix announced, looping her arm through Lila’s and escorting her towards the cafeteria and away from Adrien and Marinette.

 Things…were not going as planned.

Lila bided her time for two weeks, eating up the sympathy from the rest of her classmates and not trying to exact her revenge lest anyone catch on and suspect her. Then, once enough time had passed, she began her smear campaign against Marinette.

It was odd. No one seemed receptive to the rumors she tried to start by passing them off as something she overheard.

She tried to tell Aurore about how she was worried about Adrien—because of course she still loved him and wanted him to be happy because Lila was just a wonderful person like that. She tried to tell Aurore about how she’d overheard that Marinette was actually sugar dating several older men and only using Adrien for his fame, money, and influence.

Aurore gave her an odd look and told her gently that she shouldn’t believe everything she heard.

Mireille joined in, adding that no one actually believed those malicious rumors going around about Marinette and that the school was going to find out who had been spreading those lies and hold them accountable, so it was best if Lila didn’t help to spread around the gossip.

Lila made several other attempts, feigning concern for either Adrien or her dear friend Marinette whom she forgave for scheming against her and stealing her boyfriend…to no avail.

People kept deflecting her, telling her she was mistaken or that her information was wrong.

It was infuriating.

She was foiled at every step without Marinette or Adrien having to lift a finger.

It wasn’t just her rumor mongering schemes either. Whenever she set a trap, it was like someone was following behind her and disarming it. On top of that, she couldn’t seem to get Adrien or Marinette alone to put a plot into action because there were always people around or walking in at inopportune times.

To make matters worse, Adrien stopped modeling with her.

At work, Adrien had informed his father that he didn’t feel comfortable posing with his ex-girlfriend and that he didn’t want to make Lila uncomfortable what with the way things ended, so she no longer got to be in advertisements beside him. She tried to take it up with Gabriel, but she suddenly found that her pull with him had all but evaporated.

It felt like it was all slipping through her fingers, and she couldn’t pinpoint where exactly she’d gone wrong. It was as if a secret organization was scheming against her from the shadows, but when she looked over her shoulder, no one was there.

She kept waiting for a black butterfly to come to take advantage of her pent-up anger, resentment, and frustration so that she could finally take her revenge on Adrien and Marinette…but Papillon’s harbinger never appeared.

 One day several months later, Adrien caught her as she was leaving the studio for the night.

“Hey. If you’re not busy later, most of the class is meeting up on the Liberty for a free-throw competition between Kim, Luka, Alix, and me. You should drop by. Seven o’clock,” he informed and then walked off like nothing had happened.

It was bizarre and unsettling.

Lila did not like always being thrown off her guard, but it seemed to be happening constantly nowadays.

No matter. She’d be starting university that fall, and there would be ample opportunity to remake herself exactly as she desired. She’d be back in control.

…Still…it wouldn’t hurt to make an appearance at the Liberty later. She was finding that she kind of enjoyed just hanging out with her classmates without all the added fuss of having to maintain her lies and enact her schemes. It was sort of nice not having to keep up the act.

 Meanwhile, Adrien and Marinette were busy living out their own version of happily ever after with romantic picnics at the top of the Eiffel Tower, Disney singalong night, baking lessons, fencing lessons, and rooftop games of tag as well as the simple pleasures like snuggling, kissing, and holding hands.

The Lila problem kind of anticlimactically fizzled out with no fuss, no akumatization, just quiet resolution. But that was for the best because they had far more important things to worry about like the fact that their dream weddings weren’t exactly meshing.

“Can we maybe hold the reception on a beach?” Adrien suggested, trying to compromise.

Marinette pursed her lips. “I think it’ll be too cool for a beach in April.”

“Can’t we have a summer wedding?” he pouted.

Marinette scrunched up her nose. “I always imagined it in April. The colours and flowers I picked out work best in April, and I don’t think my dress will work for a summer wedding with a beach reception.”

“They do realize that they’re eighteen, don’t they?” Plagg groaned at Tikki. “They’re not allowed to get married for at least another five years.”

Tikki hummed softly, enjoying the back and forth of their holders. “They’re probably going to be having conversations like this up until the day of the wedding, so you’d better get used to it.”

“Oh, for the love of…” Plagg flew up and kicked Adrien in the arm. “Hey! Stop arguing. Kiss and make up already, and then get me some cheese.”

Adrien was more than happy to oblige, leaning in to kiss Marinette with a smirk. “This is my favourite conflict resolution strategy.”

“Mine too,” she chuckled, happily accepting the kiss.

Adrien arched an eyebrow as they pulled back. “You don’t use that strategy with anyone else, do you?”

“Just Chat Noir,” she assured, snickering.

“Oh. Okay, then. That’s all right. He’s very good-looking. I’d kiss him too.” Adrien smirked and got a playful hand in his face for his troubles.

“Narcissistic dork,” she snorted, shaking her head and grinning from ear to ear.

“Guilty,” he purred.

The

End

[biillyhargroves]

Billy not wanting Steve to see him without his shirt on because if the scars and Steve shows him how much he loves him, scars and all. Maybe some happy crying :)

leave those scars at home(fic requests temporarily closed)

Steve has not been alone with Billy in months.  

In the hospital, there were always nurses flitting about. They would pop in to check Billy’s vitals, to replace his IV bags; they would usher Steve away when it came time to treat Billy’s wounds. Sometimes, the doctor would come by to assess him, or Billy’s father would be pacing outside the door or shouting at someone over the nurse’s station telephone. 

At home, Max is always in the next room. Steve can hear her moving about the house. She sometimes even comes into the room, often bearing Oxycontin or bottles of water. More than once she has come in with rubbing alcohol and a handful of gauze, and on those occasions Billy told Steve to leave the room. “I’ll be quick,” Max would say. When she left and Steve was allowed back inside, Billy was always quieter. He would adjust his shirt, or move his blankets until he was sure he was covered, until he was sure no single centimeter of scar tissue could be seen. He wouldn’t let Steve touch him near those scars. He angled his body in ways that shielded them. He wears heavy sweatshirts that Steve can’t feel through. He makes sure that they are never alone - that there is always someone else to help him, someone else to urge Steve out of the room when his scars might be exposed. 

It is September now. The day before school starts, Max arrives at the video store. She beelines for the counter, where Steve is carefully arranging boxes of candy. “I need a favor,” she says by way of greeting. Steve startles, drops a box of Twizzlers that knocks over a container of Milk Duds that sends bags of Pop Rocks crashing to the floor.

“Uh,” he stammers. “Okay?”

“I need you to check on Billy,” she says.

“To check on-”

“Neil works, like, crazy hours,” she says. “And my mom’s working now, too. He’s going to be alone when I’m at school. Neil says he’ll be fine, that it’s been long enough, but he still needs help doing, like, everything. I just...I really need you to check on him. Okay?”

“Uh,” Steve says again, and then he says, “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can do that.”

“There’s a spare key under the mat,” Max says. 

“I know where it is,” Steve says.

And so, on Monday morning, Steve waits until the last yellow school bus rolls past his house. He waits until the shouts of school children preparing for a new year simmer down and vanish into the vast wells of the school buildings. He circles Cherry Lane three times to be sure that there are no cars left in the driveway, save for the sad looking broken down Camaro perched in its cinderblocks. He parks at the curb. He digs the key out from beneath the welcome mat and he lets himself inside.

“Billy?” he calls. There is no answer. Steve steps further into the house. He peers down the hallway. Billy’s bedroom door is open, but the room is dark. The bathroom door is also open and yellow light spills from it into the hall. Steve’s tone becomes more concerned than inquisitive when he repeats, “Billy?” 

Steve can hear someone moving inside the bathroom. He hears the toilet flush. He sees a shadow rise up along the wall, stretched by the morning light that spills in from the high windows. He sees it sway, and then he hears a loud thud and Billy swearing. Steve rushes into the room to find Billy sprawled on the floor. He landed on his tailbone, his back against the bathtub, his weight pulling so hard against the shower curtain that Steve thinks it might rip right off. 

“Jesus Christ,” he sighs. 

“Fuck off,” Billy grumbles.

“What the hell are you doing?” Steve asks.

“I said fuck off,” Billy growls.

“Not a chance,” Steve says. When he steps into the room, Billy curls away. He is wearing basketball shorts and a think white shirt. He curls inward, wincing as he does, and he tries to angle himself away when Steve reaches out a hand. “Come on,” Steve says, already reaching for him, but Billy slaps him away.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asks. 

“I’m trying to help you, you asshole,” says Steve.

“I don’t need help,” Billy insists.

“Fine,” Steve says. He holds up his hands. “Get up, then.”

Billy looks at him beneath the fringe of his hair. He huffs loudly. One hand gropes behind him until he finds the lip of he tub. He grabs it and he braces his other hand against the floor. Slowly, painstakingly, he begins to push himself up. He makes it his knees before Steve can’t take it anymore.

“This is pathetic,” Steve says. He grabs Billy’s arm before Billy can protest. He feels Billy’s whole body go rigid in his grasp. He jerks- actually jerks -like he is startled or afraid, and he tries to yank his arm away when Steve says, “Just let me help.”

“Get off of me,” Billy says.

“You wanna say on the fucking floor all day?” 

“Seriously,” Billy says. “Why are you here?” 

“Max didn’t think you should be alone,” Steve says. “I think she’s got a point.”

“I’m fine,” Billy insists. 

“Mhm,” Steve says. He moves to touch Billy’s back. Billy tries to angle himself away and, in the process, loses his balance and falls once again. “What are you doing?” Steve says, exasperated.

“Don’t touch me,” Billy snaps. 

“Billy,” Steve says. His tone softens. He gently lights on a hand on Billy’s shoulder- a safe spot, clear of scars. Billy keeps his head down. He is breathing heavily now, a combination of frustration and exertion putting a strain on his lungs. “Hey,” Steve says quietly. Billy still will not look at him, but he does life his head ever so slightly. “What’s the matter?” Steve asks.

“Just go home,” Billy grumbles. 

“I’m not leaving you here,” Steve says.

“I’m fine,” Billy says.

“Bullshit,” Steve says flatly. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Billy does not. He does not tell him anything. He lowers his head again, his hair falling to obscure his face. When he is quiet for too long, Steve asks, “Is it the scars?”

“Get the fuck out, Harrington,” Billy says. He does not sound angry. Steve doesn’t think he has the energy to portray anger, not in the true Billy Hargrove sense of the word. Instead, he sounds exhausted. 

“Hey,” Steve says. He lowers himself to Billy’s level, crochet down on the floor beside him. Billy tries to move away, but with the tub behind him he finds himself cornered. He settles for rounding his shoulders against Steve. He tries to turn his back, but Steve’s grip on his holds him steadily in place. Steve moves his hand to the back of Billy’s neck. He feels a shiver roll down Billy’s spine. “You think I don’t know?” Steve asks. “You think I don’t know that you’re trying to hide them? You’ve barely let me touch you in months. I know I’m not the brightest guy in town, but I know when something’s up.”

“Just go away,” Billy sighs. He sounds like a child, desperate and tired. 

“At least let me get you back to bed,” Steve says. 

“I got it,” Billy says. He begins to right himself again and, with Steve hovering over him, he makes a second attempt to get to his feet. He makes it, but at the top he stumbles, and he lands against Steve.

“I got you,” Steve murmurs. “I got you.”

“I’m fine,” Billy grumbles. He pushes off of Steve and reaches for the sink, grabbing it to steady himself before opening the medicine cabinet. He roots around until he finds a small white tube - Steve recognizes it as the gel Max brings with her when she treats Billy’s wounds. It made its first appearance after his stitches came out, a new addition to the routine. When Billy unscrews the top, having his hands busied, he has to lean his hips against the sink to keep himself upright. 

“Sit down,” Steve tells him. “Let me do that.”

“Why are you still here?” Billy says. 

“Because I care about you, dickhead,” Steve says. “Sit.” 

“I got this,” Billy says.

Steve says, “Sit.” He takes the little white tube of cepalin from Billy’s hands. “You can sit here I can help you to the bedroom,” Steve offers. He stands behind Billy and meets his eyes in the mirror. Billy sighs heavily.

“You’re annoying as fuck,” Billy says. “You know that?”

“Glad to hear it,” Steve says. “What’ll it be?”

Billy stares at him hard for a good thirty seconds before he pushes off the sink. He rests a hand against the wall to guide himself down the hallway. Steve follows close behind, giving him as much space as feels safe, but staying close enough to catch him should he fall. When they make it to bedroom, Billy falls heavily onto the bed. He still for a moment. Steve stands over him, patient, waiting. When Billy looks up at him, there is something in his eyes that tugs at Steve’s heart- a begging, please don’t make do this -perhaps even shame, I don’t want you to see me. Steve gently tucks Billy’s hair behind his ear. His thumb brushes Billy’s temple. Billy looks him in the eye and all the anger that was there before is gone. 

“You really can go,” Billy says. “I’ve got it from here.”

“I know,” Steve concedes. “I don’t want to.” 

“Seriously, Steve-” Billy starts, but Steve cuts him off with a kiss that startles Billy. When they part, Billy opens his mouth to say something more, but he seems to have forgotten what, exactly, that something was. Steve takes advantage of this. He kisses Billy’s forehead and then he sits beside Billy. 

“I’m going to see eventually,” Steve says, nodding toward Billy’s body- his chest, his stomach, his sides, all the pieces of him carved up by the Mind Flayer. Billy looks down. He frowns, and Steve rests a hand on Billy’s knee and squeezes. “It’s okay,” he says. 

“They’re fucking gross,” Billy warns. 

“I’ll brace myself,” Steve says. “Come on. It’s just me.” 

Billy is still and silent for one minute, and then two, and then he breathes a heavy sigh. He takes the hem of his shirt and, with some difficulty, he peels it off. He tosses it to the floor and he holds his breath. The scars are large and thick, each of them red and angry. The ones from the Mind Flayer are wide, irregular, shaped like stars and spiderwebs. There are surgical scars, too, cleaner and smaller and thinner. Steve does not know where to look, does not know where to start, and Billy keeps his eyes downturned. His skin is red and hot, flushed with embarrassment. When Steve takes too long to respond, he reaches for the tube.

“Just fucking go,” he murmurs, but Steve swipes the tube away. “Steve,” Billy says. Once again, Steve cuts him off with a kiss. He keeps kissing him this time, trailing Billy’s jaw and down his neck. He very gently lights his fingers over the largest scar, the one centered on his chest, and Billy sucks in his breath, “Steve,” he says softly, voice small. 

“Shh,” Steve whispers, and he kisses that tip of that scar. Billy’s skin jumps. He tenses, but he doesn’t pull away, he doesn’t squirm, he doesn’t tell Steve to stop. Steve kisses down the length of Billy’s scar, gentle as can be, careful not to hurt him, and then he lifts his head and kisses Billy’s lips again. They part, and Billy looks at Steve like he’s seeing him for the first time. “It’s okay,” Steve tells him. 

“It’s not-” Billy starts, but Steve shakes his head.

“Stop,” he tells him. “I love you,” he says. “Okay?” 

Billy closes his eyes, and Steve does not know if it is exhaustion or frustration or relief or some combination of the three but a single tear slips down his cheek. Steve brushes it away, and he kisses the spot where it fell. Billy leans toward him, rests his forehead against Steve’s, and Steve gently holds the back of his neck. “I love you,” he repeats. “Do you believe that?”

Billy gives the smallest, slightest nod of his head. He says, “Yeah.” 

“Good,” Steve says softly. “Good.” 

[themoonismymuse]

boyfriend || part two

Part one || Part three

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary: now that you and Steve are over, someone else steps into the picture...

Word count: 2171

Warnings: cursing, angsttt, sad boi hour starts now :)

Song: boyfriend (with Social House) by Ariana Grande and Social House

A/N: this one is a little longer than part one because i combined part two and three! please enjoy!!

You are laying on Nancy’s bed, playing with her comforter. She invited you to stay over at her house, saying you needed a girls night. After taking a shower to get all the punch off of you, you had taken a spot on her bed to talk. “Why did he do it?” You ask, resisting the urge to cry. You had already done that at least three times since you left the party and didn’t want to do it again.

“Because he’s an idiot. See what happened when I left him? I’m so much better now,” Nancy says while she takes the pins out of her hair.

“But you had Jonathan to run to. I don’t have anyone.”

She looks at you. “You have me!”

You smile painfully. “Yeah, I guess so.”

She gives you a pitiful look and comes over to sit on the bed next to you. “Steve sucks. He can’t keep it in his pants.”

“It just hurts so bad. Why wasn’t I enough?”

Nancy wants so badly to make you feel better. An idea comes to mind, but she knows you’ll shoot it down. “What if we get you a rebound?”

“What? Like some guy for me to fuck and get over Steve?”

“Duh. It can be very helpful sometimes,” she smiles in a devilish way.

You sit up. “And who do you suggest for this endeavour?”

“Our own homegrown Billy Hargrove!” She announces this like he’s a prize you’ve just won on a gameshow.

You raise your eyebrows and laugh. “Are you being serious? Oh, no,” the smile slips from your lips. “You are being serious.”

She nods. “You’re hot, he’s hot. You’re sad, he’s probably sexually frustrated. It’s a perfect match.”

“How is he sexually frustrated? Literally every girl in Hawkins wants to screw him.”

She rolls her eyes like you’re missing the point. “Just trust me on this.”

“I am not having sex with him,” you cross your arms.

“You don’t have to have sex. Just show him off a little bit at school. Get Steve jealous.”

You think about it. “No.”

“Oh come on, Y/N! You need this right now!” She whines.

You lay back on the bed and get situated under the covers. “Still no.”

“Stop pretending to be asleep. I know you’re awake,” she says as you keep your eyes shut tightly.

You pretend to snore, but eventually do fall asleep. Nancy does the same, but her mind is filled with ideas to make you forget about Steve completely.

In the morning on Monday, you rub your eyes to try and take away any of the sleepiness. The sunlight is far too bright for December. Yesterday you had spent the day with Nancy, watching sad romantic comedies and eating until you felt like you were going to combust. Jonathan stopped by around three in the afternoon to pick up his brother, Will, but decided to stay and hang out for a while.

You dread going to school today. Everyone is going to look at you funny and it won’t feel the same without Steve’s arm around your shoulder. You sigh and get up. Your mother doesn’t know about your messy breakup, and you don’t intend to tell her until it’s impossible for her to not know. Hopefully that time will never come. You trudge down the stairs and your mother is sitting at the table, drinking coffee. “Steve called about twenty times yesterday.”

Ah, shit. Now you have to tell her. “What did you say to him?” You ask quietly.

“That you were at Nancy’s. Why?” She gives you a skeptical look. You know that she can see right through you.

You take a deep breath. “I broke up with Steve on Saturday.”

She looks at you sympathetically, but then stands up and briskly walks over to hug you. You burst into tears when she wraps her arms around you. “Let it out, baby. Let it out,” she whispers as she pats your hair down.

“He was kissing another girl,” you say through the tears.

“Shh… you don’t have to have any reason to dump his hair-gelled ass. I never liked him from the beginning, anyways.”

You laugh sadly and pull away. Mom hugs are always the best. “Thanks, Mom.”

She holds your head in her hands and wipes the tears away with her thumb. “Go get cleaned up, baby. You need to show him what he’s missing.”

You decide to walk to school today, the way there not being that long on a good day. Of course, this isn’t a great day, but maybe the fresh air will help clean out your lungs. At least you won’t have to see anyone’s faces on the bus.

As you near closer to the actual school, your pace slows and dread fills your body. This can’t get any worse, can it?

The high school is beside the middle school, so there are a few middle schoolers biking through the high school parking lot. You spot the redheaded girl who was at Nancy’s house when you were there on Sunday. You are able to recognize Mike, Lucas, Will, and Dustin besides Max. There’s another girl who came over to Nancy’s house when you were there, Elle. She is apparently homeschooled and very sheltered.

You walk up the hill to the parking lot and immediately regret coming to school today. The people who are hanging by their cars eye you, especially the girls. They seem triumphant, like they beat you for something you weren’t even competing for. You try to ignore the stares, but that becomes ten times harder once you enter the school. Your eyes find the ground as you walk past people, until you reach your locker. Luckily, you haven’t spotted Steve yet.

Unluckily, someone wrote on your locker in black lipstick: I guess the princess has fallen.

Your eyes widen and you try to scrub it off with the sleeve of your sweater. It won’t budge. “Fuck,” you whisper. At least there aren’t any obscene words. That would be so much worse.

“Need a little help?” A low voice asks from behind you.

You startle and turn quickly, your back hitting the lockers when you notice how close this person is to you. Billy Hargrove. “Not from you,” you snap.

You keep at it, rubbing the words aggressively with your sleeve. After a moment, you notice that he hasn’t left yet. “Can I help you?” You ask.

“No, I’m just enjoying the view.”

You groan and rest your forehead on the locker. “Great pick-up line. Really. Very original.”

“Hey, I heard you and Steve had a pretty horrific breakup at Tammy’s,” you open your locker as he says this, but quickly shut it.

You shut your eyes tightly to stop the memories flooding in. It’s easier to be angry than to show your real sadness. “So?”

“So,” he says, placing his arm on the locker over your shoulder so you can’t really move out of the way. “Can I take you out tonight?”

You roll your eyes and laugh a little. “Did Nancy put you up to this?”

“What?” he asks, looking surprised, but he covers it up quickly.

You narrow your eyes and reach up to move his arm out of the way. “I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to say no. Must be a shocker since everyone always says yes.” As you walk away, Billy follows you, even though you thought you made it clear that you did not want to have anything to do with him.

“Come on, lighten up a bit,” he slides an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. 

“Get off,” you push him to the side and readjust your jacket. You flatten your hair and walk briskly away from him, hoping to God that he doesn’t follow you. 

Billy watches you leave, a smile playing at his lips. He always loves a challenge… and you are going to be tricky to win over.

The rest of the day is tense, with people whispering about you, but also the fact that you hadn’t seen Steve all day. Not seeing Steve should’ve been a perk, right? Wrong. You were worrying if he was with some other girl or if he had taken your breakup terribly. Your worries slip from your mind when you see exactly who you don’t want to see in the hallway after last period. Steve Harrington.

With the same girl from the party.

Despite the fact that your heart had already been shattered into a thousand pieces, seeing him with her breaks those shatters into a million jagged pieces. He catches your eye and you see how little emotion is in his eyes. Just days before he seemed so happy. So loving.

Now there was nothing.

You feel the same emotion from the party and this morning when Billy spoke to you; anger. It boils the blood inside of you. He dares to come to school with that girl? You look around quickly for someone who you never thought you’d need until now.

“Hey, princess,” a voice says from behind you.

You turn around and are greeted by the one person you were looking for. You swallow your snappy response to that nickname and give him a forced smile. “Hi,” you say as though this is strictly a business matter. Which it is. Obviously. “So, do you wanna drive me home or not?

***

The ride home is quiet, except for constant questions from Max Mayfield, who is apparently Billy’s step-sister. “Why are you letting my asshole of a brother drive you home?”

“Because he offered,” you say shortly.

“Actually, you sort of offered yourself,” Billy intervenes, but is ignored.

Max rolls her eyes. “That’s so stupid. I’ve seen you around Mike’s house. You’re cool. Billy is not cool.”

You resist the urge to laugh at hurt look on Billy’s face. “I am cool. I am the epitome of cool. No one is cooler than me.”

“Y/N is. And you know it,” Max teases.

Billy scoffs, “Sure.”

You look out the passenger side window, watching the trees fly by you. Billy passes the street leading to your house. He had said that he knew where you lived when you told him your address. “Uh, my house is that way,” you point your thumb backwards.

“I know,” he says, staring at the road ahead of him.

When you reach what you presume to be Billy and Max’s house, Max hops out and says, “‘Bye, Y/N!”

You give her a friendly wave, then turn to look at Billy. “You are going to drop me off at my house and that’s it. No funny business.”

He looks over with an almost bored gaze. “Do you really think I’m going to try anything with your prudish self?”

You bite your tongue, keeping your sarcastic comments to yourself. Tomorrow Billy will have forgotten all about you, so there is really no point in arguing. “I just- I don’t want you to get any ideas.”

He laughs and smiles as he turns the car to go back towards your street. “Oh, trust me. I’m just being nice.”

“For what? Driving me home?”

“Duh. You practically forced me to take you.”

You cross your arms in shock. “I did not. You practically begged me to go with you this morning.”

His absolutely annoying smile hasn’t left him lips. “And I didn’t think people could change their minds so quickly.”

“Whatever,” you say, your lips forming a pout. “Also, how would you know if I’m a prude?”

He laughs. “It’s so obvious. You never do anything more with Harrington than little pecks on the lips. Why else would he cheat on you?”

Your eyes widen. “It’s none of your business what I do or don’t do with my boyfriend.”

“But he’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

Oh, now he’s just being a prick. “Could you stop being a pain in my ass and just drive me home already?”

“I’m trying to, princess. You’re just making it awfully difficult.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He glances over at you. “What? Princess?”

“Yeah. It’s stupid. And I’m not a princess.”

“You sure do act like one,” he mutters under his breath.

You ignore that comment and keep your gaze forward until he pulls up to your house. “Thanks for the ride,” you say lazily, pushing the door open.

“Your whole tactic worked really well, by the way. Steve’s face was priceless,” Billy says before you have the chance to shut your door.

“What?” You lean down to be eye level with him.

Billy smirks and rolls his eyes. “You only wanted a ride to make him jealous, right?”

“No,” you say defensively. “I just didn’t want to walk home in the cold.”

“Whatever you say, princess,” he looks forward again, still smiling annoyingly.

“God, you are such a know-it-all!” You accuse, practically slamming the door.

The window rolls down quickly and Billy says, “So I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning?”

A/N: yo so somehow i pretty much deleted this whole post and i had to add everything back to it again so sorry if there are any changes to anything! 

Part one || Part three

Masterlist

[ayeshintheclouds]

What a strange middle space I exist in. It’s like the time between Christmas and New Year. When everything’s done, but technically it’s not. When the year is so practically over that you act as if it already is. But it’s not. High school is over. Except it’s not. 

We still have assignments sometimes. An occasional Zoom call. But that’s not what high school is to me. I have an obsession with lasts. In so many aspects of life. I remember a specific time, the week before my eleventh birthday. Every single night before bed that week, I’d think to myself, “it’s my last Tuesday 10” “my last Friday 10” it was stupid. But I did that with everything. When we moved. My last time using this shower. My last night in my room. My last time opening this closet door. I never stopped that. And I had built up so many lasts in my head for high school. It was such a crazy time of my life, the most I’d ever changed as a person, the most experience I’d gotten in the real world. I’m attached to that building, its people, the walls, the books. I was so prepared to live through each and every one of those lasts.

My last time using the disgusting school restrooms with roaches. My last time sleeping on the giant comfy library sofas. My last time walking in to gov with an orange and sticking its cutie sticker on the back of the seat in front of me. My last time listening to music in class and then jolting up when uh oh stinky starts playing on max volume cuz zahra hijacked my airpods. My last time walking to euro with the same song playing in both our ears as we walk off in different directions, sighing when the Bluetooth connection cuts off cuz you’re too far. As far as you can get in one building. What we wouldn’t give to be in the same building right now. My last time quickly clicking out of my Papa’s freezeria tab and zoning back into a lecture about scandalous prince Henry and his million wives. My last time filling out forensics notes made by our sweet teacher who draws cute lil heart bulletins for each of the 19 ways a man’s blood can drain out of his body. My last time rushing to lunch before the giant pizza line or the crowds around the restroom mosh pits cuz some rapper died. My last time cuddling up in a giant blanket with my friends on the floor of our freezing cold English room to watch A Quiet Place or Marriage Story or The Good Place. Our last time making a steaming cup of hot chocolate using our teachers coffee machine to read a picture of Dorian grey. My last time sneaking my friend into library free period and then getting caught. She made my friend go out but we keep talking, through the glass. We write words on our notebook paper and show each other. We play charades. We FaceTime and text despite being a foot apart but there’s glass separating us. My last time sneaking up to the abandoned second floor of the library where all the lonely dead books live, where it feels like an airplane when it rains. You can hear the rain pattering above you and the lights go out and u feel like ur in a giant haunted library all alone. But then ms b yells for you to come down and change the water filters or take out todays orbeez and youre back in reality. My last time jolting awake to the sound of the awful trumpet bell and rushing to the bus. Saving a seat for zahra and cringing at boys’ conversations behind us as they compare weewee sizes and rate girls. Recording a bus vlog together and sharing headphones to watch funny videos. My last time walking home with Renelle and MonaLisa, stopping every few feet so they can film tiktoks. Arriving at the crossroad between our houses and saying “See you tomorrow,” before heading home. Every day. Every day we said those exact words like a tradition, even on Fridays by accident and then we’d giggle and say “oh I mean Monday” and I thought to myself that the last month of school I’d record us saying that everyday to make a graduation memory compilation.

My last time going to high school. Or school at all. Unless you count college as school, which I guess it is. But still. It’ll never be the same. We’re opening one chapter before finishing the last. We haven’t fully left high school but technically we’re in college. We haven’t fully started college cuz we’re technically still in high school. It’s over. My last day of school was something I barely remember. My friend had memorized a thousand digits of pi for extra credit and we watched her perform it in front of her class. I’m trying so hard to go back and count the lasts. But I didn’t savor it. I wish I’d known it’d be my last. It’s taught me at least to savor everything. Anything can be a last moment. Life can change at the drop of a hat.

We missed our university orientation. It was gonna be the most amazing two days of our lives. Our first ever slumber party. We’d be roommates in a dorm room and we’d do the candlelight traditions and the songs and everything. They gave us an online one now. Staff people speaking us through green screens and a bunch of twenty minute videos. Zoom calls. Surveys. Emails. All our real life experiences replaced by the stupid internet that I hate so much but it’s all I’ve got.

Who knows if we’ll have a graduation, a prom? If we’ll ever get to walk across that stage or wear that dress or even see each other in person again. Sometimes my friends come by, on their bikes or with their parents. We talk through my second floor window or on the porch six feet apart. When they leave it feels like they never came at all because it was so surreal. It doesn’t feel the same. Nothing feels the same. It feels empty and hollow and lonely and like reality is fake. Time passes as a blob now. Someone says it’s Friday and I want to scream. What does that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to hold any meaning to me anymore? Friday meant no school tomorrow. There’s no school today or tomorrow or the day after or ever.

I know I shouldn’t complain. I have life in my arms and legs and color in my cheeks and my body can breathe without machinery that costs thousands to make. The height of my pain is boredom and I’m sure there’s thousands, millions, who would kill to have a problem as first world as mine. So I have no right to complain. But I will. Because although others’ pain is greater than mine, pain is pain, and I want so badly to get it off my chest without hurting the feelings of people actually suffering. And I’m well aware that anyone reading this might think me a spoiled brat. I guess I am. But high school’s over. Except it’s not

[hunnywrites]

Arcade Dreams: Chapter One

Summary: There’s a new girl working at the Palace Arcade and Hawkins’ Family Video. Billy can’t stand her, and the feeling is mutual. No matter what everyone else seems to think.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

A/N: When being introduced to the Midnight overlaps with the third season of Stranger Things being released, you write a Billy Hargrove fic. He’s trying his best to become a soft boy, but instead you all get this mess of a slow burn fic. 

Christmas break was surprisingly more lively in Hawkins than Teddi had anticipated. The Hawkins Family Video store and the Palace Arcade were always pretty popular during weekends, sure, but in the few days since school had let out she had found herself bouncing back and forth between the two shops because she and Keith were seriously understaffed. She didn’t mind it. Everyone in town was surprisingly nice, and a lot of the kids that stopped into the arcade were pretty entertaining. There was one group she had taken a liking to. Max Mayfield and her gang always managed to make a shift more exciting, and she loved helping them give Keith grief. 

She had popped into the arcade about twenty minutes ago and found them spread out among the games. Max seemed to be missing, but there was a new girl that had tagged along the last few nights. Apparently Chief Hopper had a daughter she hadn’t known about. Not that that surprised her. As of that week she had only been in Hawkins for two months. Her family had moved there from upstate New York after her dad had been laid off. Now they lived in a really crappy place that seemed like it was in the middle of nowhere even for Indiana. It was why she had taken the video store/arcade job to begin with. There was no way her parents would be able to pay for college now. So now she was desperate for as many shifts as she could get from Keith on top of looking for a second job. 

Since the arcade seemed to be relatively peaceful for a Friday night, she was focused on the video store now. Keith was forcing her to play that god awful animated Rudolph movie on repeat to get customers into the Christmas spirit. If she had to listen to that elf talk about how he wanted to be a dentist one more time, she might actually lose it. She was bouncing back and forth between the register, restocking and organizing shelves and rewinding tapes people had returned. She was so busy that she had managed to drown out those awful claymation characters and the sound of a roaring engine outside. She threw a “Welcome to Hawkins’ Video!” over her shoulder when she heard the bell on the door jingle as it opened. 

She was tidying up the holiday display when someone’s shadow loomed over her. “You work here?” a gruff voice asked. Teddi looked up, eyebrows together in confusion as she tried to imagine what this guy could possibly be so huffy about. 

“Sure do,” she said as she stood. She was immediately met with the smell of cologne, cigarette smoke and spearmint. “What can I help you with?” 

Teddi vaguely recognized him after a few moments. They went to the same school. She didn’t entirely remember his name, but she knew he was kind of a dick. Very, very cute, but kind of a dick. “I’m stuck watching my lame ass step-sister while she’s grounded. Her mom told me to rent some videos to keep her occupied over the weekend.” he said rolling his eyes. 

“Oh! Well, that’s actually pretty sweet of you. I mean I’m an only child so my mom always just threw me in front of a TV while I was growing up…” she trailed off. It was obvious he didn’t care. Teddi cleared her throat. “Sorry. Um, so what’s she into?”

He raised an eyebrow, looking at Teddi like she had grown a second head. “How the fuck should I know?” 

“Isn’t she your sister?”

“Step sister.” he corrected shortly.

“Right…” Teddi pursed her lips while she thought of a suggestion. Cute but dickly blonde boy shifted impatiently. “Chick flick?” she asked. He made a face. 

“Jesus, no. She’s not into all that girly shit.” he paused for a moment. “I don’t know, she was Michael Myers for Halloween. You got anything like that?”

Teddi perked up. “Oh, totally! Here, follow me,” she waved at him and took off towards the horror section. She glanced over her shoulder quickly at him. “...You go to Hawkin’s High, right? You’re on the basketball team? I’m Teddi. I just moved here so you’ve probably haven’t seen me or anything…” she was rambling again. She always did that when things were quiet. She hated quiet. 

“You’re the weird girl that argued with the science teacher for like half an hour over crystals.” he said bluntly. Teddi let out a nervous laugh. She had to admit, it was a little embarrassing to remembered by cute but dickly for arguing that crystals did in fact have healing abilities, and no it did not have anything to do with the movie The Dark Crystal. 

“Yep...yep. That was me…” she was fairly certain she heard him let out a faint chuckle. “So uh, keeping in tone with the whole holiday horror she might like this one,” she plucked a copy of Black Christmas off the shelf and handed it to him. He gave it a quick look over and gave an approving nod. “And these are just some really good ones. You can’t pass them up.” she handed him Sleepaway Camp, Alien and Carrie. She hoped it would be broad enough range to keep his sister occupied and happy. 

He scanned each VHS quickly. “Right...thanks. Hopefully this’ll keep the little shit happy.” he muttered. 

“It’s no problem. If she likes them there’s plenty more where those came from.” she said leading him back to the front counter. While she was checking each of the movies out she was completely oblivious to the fact that cute but dickly was now aware that his focus was no longer on renting movies and that Teddi was a girl. A cute, but weird, girl that he had yet to put the moves on. 

“...I’m Billy, by the way. I forgot to introduce myself earlier.” he grinned, leaning against the counter and turning on a sudden charm he definitely hadn’t had when he first walked in. Teddi had bleached blonde hair that was cut into a bob that just barely reached her shoulders. Her lashes were so long and thick that he couldn’t tell whether they were real or fake. Freckles speckled her nose and she had a metal hoop in her right nostril. She was also wearing glittery lip gloss that managed to sparkle even under the fluorescent lighting of the video store. He barely got to get a good look of her “Hawkins’ Family Video” shirt that was about two sizes too small and black cut off shorts before he was caught. 

“Oh, it’s fine we were bus-...what are you doing?” she raised an eyebrow at him. 

Billy stood up straight, his grin fading. “...What do you mean?”

“You were just looking at me like I’m like a cheeseburger or something,” she snorted. Billy looked at her like she had grown another head yet again. “Does that actually work?” she asked, her nose scrunching just a little. 

Billy clenched his jaw, resting both of his hands on the counter. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he spat. It only made him more annoyed when Teddi let out a giggle. If it was one thing he hated, it was being laughed at. 

“Nothing. Forget it,” she slid the tapes towards him. “Ten bucks. They’re due back Monday.” she said with an amused smile. Billy only muttered, reaching into his back pocket and digging his wallet out. He tossed a ten down on the counter and snatched up the tapes. “Enjoy the movies!” she said sweetly. 

Billy rolled his eyes and nearly stomped back out to his car. He hated Hawkins. He hated how cold it was. He hated how festive everyone got around Christmas. He hated that he was stuck at home with Max all weekend, and he hated that Teddi had embarrassed him. Fuck Hawkins, he thought as he slid into his Camaro. 

“Took you long enough,” Max muttered, crossing her arms. Billy ignored her and tossed the tapes into her lap before throwing the car into reverse. Max silently studied each of the movies. “These look pretty good...you picked these out?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Billy fished his cigarettes from his jacket pocket and placed one between his lips. “The girl that worked there picked them out,” he mumbled before lighting it. “I told her you liked Halloween.” for some reason that excited Max. 

“Teddi?” she asked, turning to face her step-brother. 

Billy cast a sideways glance at her. “Yeah...you know her?”

“She works at the arcade too. She’s really cool.” Billy scoffed. What did Max know about cool? He supposed to a geek like Max and her friends that maybe Teddi seemed cool. He sure didn’t see it. 

“She’s weird.” he argued curtly. 

Max gave him a knowing look and smiled. “You asked her out didn’t you? She said no didn’t she?” she asked excitedly. Billy gripped the steering wheel tightly. 

He bit back his initial response. “She’s not my type.” he said simply. 

It was Max’s turn to scoff. “You don’t have a type. Girl is your type. She’s too smart for you anyways-”

“Max, do you ever shut the fuck up? It’s bad enough I have to spend the weekend with you. Do you really think I give a shit about what you have to say about some freak that works at the video store?” Max only rolled her eyes. Ever since the night Billy had come to find her at the Byers’ house things with Billy had been slightly better, but not great. Her step-brother was stubborn. And while she was sure she had put the fear of God in him that night, Max was sure there was nothing that would be able to match his attitude. 

Billy leaned forward and flipped the radio on to signal he was done with the conversation. He drummed his fingers against the wheel in sync with the beat and pretended Max was no longer there. But still, the fact that he had actually tried to find movies she’d like instead of grabbing whatever was closest let her know he didn’t completely hate her. If anything he was crabby because his ego was bruised from whatever happened between him and Teddi.

Max was positive Billy had tried to ask her out. Lucas and the guys all had a crush on her. She was into all the same stuff they were, and she was nicer than Steve. Max had found herself wishing a few times that Teddi could be her step-sister rather than having to stick around Billy. Or at the very least she wished that Billy wasn’t such a jerk and that Teddi would want to date him. Maybe make him chill out some. 

Max’s mom and Neil weren’t home when they pulled into the driveway. Usually on the weekends they went out and she and Billy wouldn’t see them much if they were home. Which wasn’t often. Both Billy and Max liked to avoid being home as often as possible. Max followed Billy inside and kicked off her snow-covered boots, hanging up her coat and rushing over to the TV. Billy tossed his leather jacket onto the back of the couch and headed for the kitchen. Max heard the pop of a beer can being opened. 

She decided to watch Black Christmas first. She popped the tape in, settling own on the floor to watch. She barely even noticed Billy standing awkwardly in the doorway. “...You want popcorn or something?” he finally asked. Max tried to mask her surprise, instead smiling and nodding. He disappeared into the kitchen once more, making sure to slam cabinet doors and the microwave as if he were being forced to cook up popcorn. 

Billy returned a few moments later, plopping down on the couch and setting the bowl on the table in front of him. Max moved from her place on the floor to the couch as he kicked off his boots and leaned back into the couch. He rolled his eyes as she gave him a happy smile, grabbing the popcorn bowl and settling into the couch herself. While he still wished he was out with some girl he could pick up at work, Billy supposed this wasn’t the worst way to spend the weekend. 

[artificialqueens]

Crazy, stupid, sudden (Craquaria) Part 2 - Catrina

A/N: This was gonna be only a one shot bc I didn’t know if you would like it, but you asked, and I delivered. I had so much fun writing this, I hope you like it as much as I did. Some things: 1. Thanks @likeuranus for giving me ideas and opinions, ily! 2. I used Miz as Cracker’s name in the first part bc I was confused about it (for the anon who said it was like calling Miss Fame ‘Miss’) 3. I didn’t expect you would like it so much! PLEASE REMEMBER TO send some feedback if you liked this part and make me know if you want a third part? 4. Would you be insterested if I do a kind of “side chapter” where I explain Sharon and Alaska’s story better? Make me know at @the-glitter-skeleton and feel free to talk to me lmao I need friends <3 That’s it, enjoy.

Miz is going crazy. She just can’t understand —even when Monet tells her there’s nothing to understand— and her stubborn mind isn’t helping at all.

“So, in summary, you have a crush” her friend says, turning to her locker.

“I do” Miz sighs tiredly, leaning her back on the locker next to Monet’s. “And I don’t know how to get close to her”

“You drool over her since last year, didn’t you have enough time to plan shit like that?” she mocks, changing books into her bag.

Miz opens her mouth indignantly, ready to argue. “I don't—”

Monet closes the door of her locker suddenly, looking at her friend with a raised brow. “Christmas party, five months ago; you, Blair and I were outside the theater when certain girl with aquatic name walked by. ’She’s the prettiest thing I’ve seen around here’ quote by you”

Miz knows she’s defeated when her cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Smart bitch” she whispers as she rolls her eyes. “Are you helping me or what?”

“Brianna, I wasted my time investigating the bus route on Monday for you. After that anything is easy” Monet giggles when they start walking to their first class. “At least you took the chance when you saw her in the bus; she knows you now. And driving her to school was a good start, you got to see her everyday. That’s something”

“But out of my car we don’t talk at all! The longest conversation we had was about weather. Every time we get here she just thanks the ride and goes away” Miz pouts. “And don’t call me Brianna, only my mom calls me that”

“Whatever, Miz” she remarks ironically. “What I’m going to is that you can go closer easily now”

“But how?”

Monet stays silent until they sit at the back of the classroom. The teacher doesn’t arrive yet, and everyone is too busy chatting to care about it. She looks at Miz with a concerned look that makes her friend know she’s focused. She smiles when an idea comes to her mind, tapping on Miz’s arm to get her attention.

“You have to ask her out!”

-

Fridays are boring. But when Aquaria thinks of it, she realizes everyday is boring. The only interesting part of her days seems to be the way to school and home, when the sees Miz.

But then, everything goes down.

She doesn’t know what’s happening. It’s out of control her every time she combs her hair a little better hoping Miz notices it, or every time she sneaks to Sharon’s room to steal her perfume because it smells better than hers.

It becomes stronger when she looks at her and she can’t help but smiling like a maniac. She knows the feeling, she isn’t dumb; she knows perfectly it’s something she can’t bury. The word love burns into her brain like acid.

Aquaria doesn’t like that word. It’s tough and merciless. She saw the perfect prove with her own moms; destroyed after giving everything they had. Even when Sharon mentions how happy she is now and Alaska assures she’s better alone, she knows Sharon still conserves pictures of her wedding in a box under her bed and Alaska prefers going on business trips so she doesn’t have to be in her huge house that used to be filled with Sharon’s voice.

She doesn’t want that. Miz is nice, funny, special. She’s everything Aquaria has ever wanted and she’s too scared to go for.

It’s useless. She closes her eyes and tries to throw every single idea that has been around her mind this morning away. Her eyes are on the table, quietly chewing on the bread with dry cheese and too much ham of her daily sandwich when a noise makes her lift her head suddenly. It just takes Miz a second to sit by her, looking directly at her soul with those gorgeous big eyes of hers.

“Hey” she smiles. “Mind if I stay here?”

Aquaria almost chokes on the bread as she swallows as fast as she can to answer. “It’s fine” she manages to say, receiving a smile from Miz.

For a moment, they don’t do anything more than eat silently.

“What are you doing tonight?” Miz asks suddenly, her eyes on her food over her plate as she carelessly stings it with a fork.

The question surprises Aquaria. She thinks for a second; she hasn’t anything planned, maybe watching a movie and make dinner for Sharon when she arrives from work, but nothing else. What could she do, anyways? With no friends at all, her nights are just as boring as mornings, but she doesn’t wanna Miz to know that.

“I don’t know” she replies, keeping herself from asking why. “No plans yet, I guess”

“Wanna go out with me?” she asks simply. So fucking simply Aquaria can’t understand why it makes her heartbeats increase.

She can’t think of an answer. She knows she should say no, but Miz is looking at her and the idea seems so irresistible she just can curl the corners of her lips into a little smile and nod. “Yeah”

It’s just going out, she comforts herself, ignoring the huge warning signal in her mind. That isn’t gonna hurt anybody.

“We have a date then!” Miz’s eyes shine.

-

Aquaria is finally at home, nervously walking in a circle on the living room. After taking her home, Miz said she would pick her up at seven before she started the car again and drove until it disappeared of Aquaria’s sight.

She takes her phone and goes to do the first thing she knows she should have done before, dialing the number of Sharon’s office as she throws herself to the couch.

“Good afternoon, you’re calling to the office of doctor Sharon Needles. What can I do for you?” a voice sounds at the other line of the phone.

“Hey Max” she replies with a smile. Her mom’s secretary is nice and always sends Aquaria cookies in Christmas, which of course was an easy way to gain her boss’ daughter’s heart. “Is my mom there?”

“Aqua! It’s good to hear you” Aquaria can swear she’s smiling even when she can’t see her. “And sorry darling, your mom is going to a meeting right now. Something you want me to tell her?”

“Yeah. Just tell her I’m going out with… a friend at seven. I’ll be back early and I’m taking my phone if she wants to call me”

There’s a puse before Max talks again. “Alright sweetheart. As soon as I see her I’ll tell her”

“Okay, thanks Max” Aquaria giggles before hanging up.

-

Hours after, Aquaria is still on the couch, watching a boring cooking show she found changing channels with no order. It’s the best way she has to entretain herself a little, even when the meat the old lady is cooking looks gross. It’s way too much salt, Aquaria thinks as she sighs.

Suddenly, the main door opens, revealing Sharon’s figure in the frame. Aquaria jumps in her spot, looking at her in surprise.

“Mom? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” she asks, sitting sitraght.

“I am, but when Max told me you called I had to run here. My baby has a date!” Sharon snaps cheerfully, closing the door and dropping her purse in the other couch to sit next to her daughter. Her smile is the brightest Aquaria has seen in years, and she can’t help but smiling too.

“You left work… for me?” is all she can ask, incredulous.

“Honey, I’d leave that hellhole for you anytime” Sharon assures.

Aquaria knows it’s true when she remembers Sharon dropping the chance to head a stomach surgery in the middle of the morning because she went to Aquaria’s ballet festival to see her perform. Work is her worst addiction, but her love for Aquaria is way stronger.

“Now, are you gonna tell me who is this nice person who asked you out?” the woman talks again, kicking her heels out so she can fold her legs under her on the couch.

Pathetically or gracefully —depends of Aquaria’s mood— Sharon is her best friend. The few hours she gets to see her are to talk about anything, from homework to annoying coworkers, but she didn’t tell her about Miz because the fear was bigger than the confusion and Aquaria couldn’t organize her mind.

But curling her body against Sharon’s, she sighs and decides to shut her mind down for a second. Just for a second.

“Her name is Miz Cracker, I met her days ago. She’s super nice and gentle—”

“Miz is such a weird name” Sharon comments.

“I know, her real name is Brianna, but she doesn’t like it”

“Oh, that’s cool. And you like her?”

The direct question is like a thrown arrow, going right to Aquaria’s chest. Closing her eyes, she purses her lips, looking for an answer. Love, being a group of negative things in her life, is also an untouched topic with Sharon. That makes it even worse.

“I’m scared, mom” she confesses in a small voice.

“Why, darling?”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“C'mon, you can’t know that if you don’t try. And you’re too young to worry about that. If it doesn’t work, you can try it with someone else! Maybe someone without the name of a cookie as last name” she jokes, petting her hair. “Let those stupid fears outside your head and just enjoy what you can enjoy”

Her words seem to make something in Aquaria’s chest to grow; sudden courage. She doesn’t wanna lose Miz, but if she starts something knowing it can end, at least she’s gonna make it worthwhile. Nodding, she hugs Sharon as tight as she can. “You’re right, so fucking right”

“Nothing new, your mom is really smart” Sharon brags with a smirk, looking down at her watch for a second. “It’s six o'clock, let’s do what I came to! What are you gonna wear?”

Aquaria laughs, being dragged by Sharon upstairs to her room. For some minutes, she sees her mom searching into her closet from her bed, until Sharon turns around with a black dress she hasn’t seen in a while. Her mom looks at it with nostalgia, and Aquaria remembers; is the dress Alaska gave her for her birthday the year before.

Once she puts it on, Sharon takes manage of her hair. She combs it until it’s done and then proceeds with the make up that Aquaria finds unnecessary, but she lets her mom take her as a doll to dress and paint. When she finishes, she can’t stop praising her, petting her head with shining eyes and the biggest smile.

Miz’s car stops outside the house just ten minutes later. Sharon is nervous, maybe more than her own daughter when she hugs her and watches her from the door frame. Miz’s head pocks out of the window, yelling hello and waving at Sharon, who can only do the same.

-

“You look really pretty” Miz praises when Aquaria pulls into the car. She’s all dressed up, wearing a shiny light purple dress that makes her look adorable with her wavy blonde hair perfectly done.

“Thanks” she replies, a smile hiding behind her lips once the door is closed and the car starts. “You look pretty too”

Miz drives through the now dark streets, until they reach a little restaurant Aquaria has seen before. It’s warm and comfortable, and Aquaria feels even better when Miz reaches her side as soon as they’re walking to the door.

When they sit, dangerously close with their knees touching, it feels good. The thrill of disappointment and fear isn’t as big as Aquaria imagined it before, and when Miz smiles at her and asks what are you gonna have? in the sweetest voice, it seems to disappear.

She’s glad Miz can fill the holes in the conversation every time Aquaria just stays silent because the words don’t come out. She talks about her life, her childhood, stupid things that catch her attention —how could Aquaria know Miz actually loved to cook?— and more important, she gets her to do the same. She opens up; grabbing some vegetables with her fork as she tells Miz things she didn’t even remember before.

“I like your voice. It’s good to hear it more than just saying yes, no and I don’t know” Miz mocks, gaining a death gaze from her. “I��m serious, though. It’s really pretty. I could listen to it forever”

“I already listen to your voice always, so I can’t say the same” a high pitched gasp comes out of Miz mouth as Aquaria chuckles, looking down at her plate.

“And she can joke! You’re full of surprises. What else could you be keeping from me?”

“Well, you still don’t know I’m actually a secret agent from the FBI” Aquaria grimaces. “Now that I told you, I have to kill you”

“Okay, you joke about the FBI, that makes you even more perfect now” Miz states in a serious tone that makes Aquaria laugh. “Let’s just marry already”

“I wouldn’t mind that” Aquaria replies, not very attentive of her words. When she realizes what she has said, she bits her lip as her cheeks blush. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, I was thinking the same” Miz puts her elbow over the table, resting her chin on her hand as she watches the girl in front of her. “You’re beautiful when you blush”

“Only when I blush?” Aquaria teases with a raised brow, the tension tangled in her nerves thankfully decreasing.

“Oh, well—” blinking, Miz seems taken aback. “You’re always beautiful, but, you know, when—”

She stops when Aquaria smiles, letting her know she was joking.

This feels just right.

-

When they head back to Aquaria’s home, the smiles are still there, and the comfortable heat that seems to go between them too. The car stops just where it did hours before, full of a very deserving silence after everything they spoke. Aquaria looks at Miz one more time before she open the door and for her surprise, Miz is already looking at her.

“This was a good night” the blonde comments. Her eyes shine under the street light, making Aquaria to fall in a small trance as she can only stare at them.

“It was” with her voice becoming little, she answers.

And again the silence. Aquaria turns a bit to open the door and Miz knows she should say something else before she goes. She can almost feel Monet’s gaze over her when she touches her arm, asking silently for attention.

“Aqua, I want to tell you something” in her head it sounded better, definitely. Aquaria is looking at her attentively and she just sighs, the nerves running through all her body. “I— wait, no. I just wanna say— I… like you, Aquaria. More than friends”

The words come out, floating in the air for a second before Aquaria can process them. And the silence hits the car once again, but this time it doesn’t feel right. And at the lack of response Miz sighs again, but this time embracing a mix of disappointment and dispair.

“I’m sorry. Please, let’s just be friends. Forget that. It was stupid— you know what? I’m drunk! Yes, so fucking drunk, I don’t know what I’m doing! I shouldn’t be driving”

With no words at all, Aquaria’s hand reaches Miz’s.

“No, Aquaria, don’t do that” with her head shaking negatively, she pulls her hand away as she looks down. “Don’t try to comfort me, I should’ve known”

“What should have you known? That I like you back?”

Miz can’t belive it. It doesn’t even sound true when Aquaria smiles warmly.

“You do?” lifting her head she asks, her insecurity becoming adorable for Aquaria, who can only nod to confirm her answer.

“I definitely do”

A smile grows on Miz’s lips. Is the only reponse her body produces, everything else is completely blank. Even when she tried to be positive about the topic, thinking Aquaria would have a mutual feeling, hearing it is completely different.

Her eyes can’t help but stare directly at her lips, those that look soft and sweet, those she wanted to kiss since a long time ago. She doesn’t even realize when Aquaria’s eyes are back on her, and her body moves closer, against hers, not having to deal with the seat belt. Her hand goes to Aquaria’s, holding it tight. Miz feels her chin being lift by her free hand.

When she looks up, Aquaria’s face is just inches away from hers. She can feel Miz’s heavy breathing coming out of her lightly open mouth.

It's sudden when their lips smash into each other, both of them closing their eyes with excitement running through their veins.

It's crazy when their heartbeats increase to a point they seem to be breathless, looking for air in the other’s mouth.

It's stupid when they break the kiss and their lips feel unsatisfaced, wanting —no, needing— more contact.

All they can do is look at each other, too shaken to talk. Their hands are still holding each other, Aquaria’s hand is still on Miz’s chin and the blonde’s hand has somehow found its way to her waist. Everything feels right. No, not right, it feels even better. It feels crazy, stupid, sudden; just like everything between them. And that’s absolutely perfect.

“Would be dumb if I say this is the best first kiss I ever had even when I never had one before?” Miz asks, eyes full of daydream. “I sounded so ridiculous and cheesy but it’s true. This is even better than I thought”

Talking in the calmest tone Miz has ever listened in Aquaria, she looks down with a little smile. “It was my first one too”

“Was it?” Miz’s brows raise with surprise when she nods. Pride grows in her chest; she was her crush’s first kiss. That’s more than something, Monet would say. “May I be your second one too?”

“You can be as much of them as you want” Aquaria eagerly replies, pulling her on a messy kiss as the car fills of heavy breathes and wonderful heat.

It feels perfect.

[el-and-hop]

When Autumn Leaves

Chapter 1: There’s A Lot of Hurt

[ao3] [prologue]

Pairing: Mileven AU

WC: 5.1k

Summary: The new kid in Hawkins is making El’s life miserable.

[A/N]: A Mileven AU. This is chapter 1 of probably many. I have no idea what I’m doing. 

It was cold in early October. Indiana was bracing for another brutal, lifeless winter.

A young girl, no older than thirteen, sat alone on the front steps of her porch, counting each school bus as it passed by. It was Monday morning, and her friend was supposed to be here. Twelve minutes ago. She could feel her breath getting warmer and her fingers digging into her knees.

Slowly rocking back and forth, she began to scan her surroundings. It was a technique her father taught her whenever she felt another attack creeping its way in.

The front porch was normal. White railings, brown floorboards, a swing on one corner with worn, faded yellow seat cushions on one side and bare metal on the other. It sat in the corner, and, on the opposite side of the porch, sat two wooden chairs, mismatched and slightly rotting with a small coffee table resting between them.

It was used more as a footrest than a coffee holder, but the name explains the stains of circles that surround the edge close to the larger of the two chairs. You wouldn’t guess that it had seen death and heartache and love and warmth, not at least by how it looked. Any other resident of Hawkins would laugh at the table, but they weren’t the one using it, now were they?

The warm hue of the floorboards on the porch mixed and, when the sun was right, matched with the two pumpkins that sat on the edge of the stairs to the heavy wooden front door. Neither were carved, yet, out of fear of rotting, so they sat idly there. It would be a week before halloween when they were cut open, their innards spooned out, and their faces sawed on. But today, they sat without care for tomorrow.

The only thing that held on to the traditional aesthetic of Hawkins was the yellowish glow of the tin lamp as it swayed above the doorbell. Back in 1860, the original owner had improperly installed a gas lighting system, and before he could turn off the hose the house was gone and his life destroyed. The structure of the house, of course, was rebuilt, the gas lamp now replaced with electric and fancy wire filaments.

“El?”

A small, slightly cracking voice called out and pulled El to the present. A boy, even smaller than his voice, had knelt down in front of her without her noticing. She could feel her chest moving in and out as the cold air dried her throat. The boy grabbed hold of her hands, removing their tight grip on her fingers had on her knees.

“You’re twelve minutes and fifty four seconds late, Will,” the girl whispered with more air than words. She stared at his eyes and studied their dark canyons.

“Jonathan’s car wasn’t starting so I had to bike here,” Will began, still kneeling before El. “You’re just having another panic attack.”

“That boy across the street,” El said, motioning to the house on the other side, “the one that I was telling you about? The one that moved in on Saturday? I think he’s going to school with us.”

“Well,” Will laughed, standing up, “we better get there before he does so you can keep stalking him.”

El stood up, grabbed the backpack that was resting beside her, and threw it at Will. Rather than hit him, though, it landed in the grass beside him.

“Hey, I’m not the one that wrote ‘he’s cute’ in your journal,” Will scoffed, mounting his bike.

“You’ll be head over heels for him too.”

Will rolled his eyes at her, and motioned for her to come along.

El, sighing, reached under the porch and pulled out her own bike.

In silence she mounted and rolled down the driveway, meeting Will at the end, and, like clockwork, they were off, only set to be a few minutes behind schedule.

The hallways were more crowded than normal, as the heavier winter coats had made their appearance earlier than expected. The groups of students huddled together and formed small circles to bring their body temperatures up from the brutal chill that was lingering outside.

El struggled to made her way down to her locker through the seemingly endless wave of knit hats and leg warmers. She was never one for heavy winter wear. More or less she loved layers, jeans with flannels, multiple jackets, gloves on gloves; anything that kept her from looking like a puffy version of the carpet floor at the arcade.

And since there were so many students in the halls, she cursed the fact that her locker was at the other end of the building from the main entrance. Slipping and sliding through the crowd after what felt like five minutes for a thirty second walk, she appeared at a clearing, right at her locker.

It was a sad locker. Her friend Max got lucky this year and was awarded a top locker, making her a queen amongst her peasant friends. El’s locker was at the bottom, a corner bottom, right next to the bathroom door. And the locker squeaked. Loud. She also had an “illegal” unlocking mechanism (a stack of small Post-it Notes stuck in the door) that kept her locker from doing the one thing its name implied while appearing to be 100% normal. It was the simple things that make life so much easier.

And normally she was in and out quickly.

But this day there was an issue.

The normally unoccupied locker above hers was currently occupied. And shit. It’s her neighbor.

He’s just as bundled up as everyone else in the hall: heavy coat, jeans, brown church shoes?, a striped polo tucked in, and dark brown hair that was fighting some kind of invisible straightening iron. He was holding a small slip of paper in his left hand, and with his right hand he was frantically spinning the lock to try and get it open. It’s not working.

El had two options, neither were ideal.

The first: forget her locker, avoid interaction, turn around, and make due for the first four periods until lunch when she could switch out her books.

The second: Help the poor boy.

But by some higher power right as El starts to flip an invisible coin in her head the boy with the frantic hair whips his locker open and all of the tense muscles in El’s body relax.

Realizing that she’d been staring at him, she pulls off her backpack a few lockers down and starts to fiddle with the notebooks inside. Don’t let him see me. Don’t let him see me.

But like wind he was gone without notice. And El took that as a green light to throw open her locker, shove in whatever looked important for the morning, knock the locker closed with her elbow, and sprint down the hall to first period.

History was first. It was a pointless class if El could be completely honest. She spent most of it doing her homework for Math (second period) and writing in her journal, which, luckily, looked close enough to notes that the teacher, Mr. Harold, didn’t bother her.

Sitting herself down in her unassigned signed seating, El slumped and didn’t feel like taking anything out of her bag. It was that kind of day.

“Wake up sleepy eyes,” came a voice from El’s left side. She turned her head and saw a redhead girl who still had her coat fully zipped. She already had her textbook and notebook on her desk and was clearly more awake than El was.

El sat up, stretched out her arms in front of her, and then reached down into her bag to pull out her journal. Something was off. The classroom was too quiet. El looked to her left and noticed that the chair that was normally occupied was empty and cold.

It was Dustin’s seat. And it had been for the last month and a half. El, Max, and Dustin sat together first period, second row, so that they weren’t the first prey of their slowly dying teacher. El could swear that the old man in the front of the room couldn’t see past the first row of desks. And that made life so much easier.

“Max,” El whispered to the girl sitting next to her. “Where’s Dustin?”

“I don’t know,” Max replied. “I just assumed he was with you.”

“Quiet, Mayfield,” the Mr. Harold said with just enough force to make El wonder if he was going to give himself a heart attack. Max rolled her eyes and open up her notebook to a fresh page.

El and Max were friends. No, they were sisters. With El living with her adoptive father and Max stuck with her abusive step-father, shitty step-brother, and aloof mother, they turned to each other for everything. Not that El didn’t have a great home. She had a father that loved her. And she had Max. On too many occasions did Max spend the night at El’s house. Enough times that Max has a permanent room there. They weren’t biological sisters, so the fact that they act like it makes their bond something so much stronger.

And that’s why, when a dark brown haired mess of a child bursted through the door disrupting the Mr. Harold mid sentence and caused the entire class to glare at the him, the first thing El thought about was if Max was going to notice who this boy really was.

El felt the sides of her face begin to heat up, so full of second hand embarrassment that she felt like she was going to start looking like a tomato. And if Max were to catch on, El would never hear the end of it.

“Wheeler, correct?” Mr. Harold lowered his glasses and peered above them, taking in the frazzled boy. “Michael Wheeler?”

Michael, as Mr. Harold called him, stood in the front of the room. His hands were shaking, a bit of sweat collecting on his forehead, and he was breathing heavily enough that El could surmise that he probably sprinted down the hall trying to find the classroom.

“Well,” Mr. Harold said with sarcastic tone, “take a seat next to Eleanore. She’ll get you up to speed.”

El felt her heart crawl up into her throat. His name is Michael? She hated to admit it, but she almost felt sorry for that. First the house across the street, then the locker, and now History class? She looked at the clock hanging on the wall. Class started at eight. It was ten past eight. El sighed.

As the boy made his way to the empty seat next to El, she pulled out her textbook from her backpack and set it down on her desk. Her backpack was about as neat as her locker. That is to say, it looked like a wastepaper basket. Crumpled papers, trash, and broken pencils were mindlessly tossed inside.

El placed her textbook on his desk and smiled.

“Here,” she said, with a soft whisper, “we’re on page one hundred and ten. Chapter quizzes are on Fridays. Homework is written on the board for the next day.”

El watched as the mess next to her began flipping through to the correct page. His writing, she noticed, as he opened up his notebook, was pure chicken scratch.

Once everything seemed to calm down and Mr. Harold’s monotonous voice began to linger in the air like the hum of a fan, El started to drift off. And she got a few seconds of bliss before the classroom door creaked open again.

“Henderson! You’re twenty minutes late,” Mr. Harold mocked, as he stood in front of the chalkboard. “Late note or detention: which will it be?”

El did everything she could to avoid eye contact with Dustin as he stood in the front of the class, searching through his pockets for what El could assume to be his note.

“Here,” Dustin said with a smile, handing the teacher a crumpled piece of yellow paper.

Mr. Harold’s face went from tense to nothing short of defeated. He ran detention, and getting to make students miserable was his favorite thing to do.

Dustin turned to go to his normal seat next to El, but was greeted with a stare from Michael.

If it could be described in any way, El would probably have to say that it was like one of those show downs on the old western movies that she would watch that came on before her favorite soap operas. The two boys locked eyes, neither blinking, for one second that felt like minutes. Part of El wanted to nudge the poor soul next to her, get him to move for a day, explain to him that while, yes, it is unassigned seating, it’s an unspoken rule that if you sit there your first day you don’t change it and you came in and took Dustin’s seat, what did you expect?

“Take your seat, Henderson,” Mr. Harold said, with more disdain than before.

Dustin looked around the room before catching sight of one open chair, in the center of the front row. He took a deep breath and sighed. El watched as he sat down and mindlessly through his bag on the ground and sat hunched over with his head down on the desk.

“Henderson, I don’t care what was going on before class, get your head up and pay attention.”

Dustin didn’t move.

Mr. Harold crossed his arms and stood in silence for a moment, waiting for Dustin to listen. Dustin didn’t.

“That’s it,” Mr. Harold said as he walked over to his desk and pulled out a packet of pink paper. “Detention. After school.”

All El heard from Dustin was a groan. She looked over to Max, who was just as surprised as El expected her to be. El then turned around to her right to see Michael, with his head in the textbook.

El looked down at her open journal in front of her. She had only written the date. Frustrated, she closed it with a bit too much force. Placing her head on her hand and her elbow on the desk, El turned to stare at the clock. She counted along with it, each second as the minute hand slowly moved from number to number

When the bell rang at the end of class, El packed up her journal and hightailed it out. Math was next, all the way at the other end of the building, and she really wasn’t in the mood to be late today. She heard her name called, but chose to ignore it. She really wasn’t up to it today.

Math came and went, since none of her friends were in the class with her.  Dustin was in Science, but since it was a lab day, El wasn’t able to explain the situation to him.

It was finally lunch.

The one time of the day when El and all of her friends were together. It wasn’t freedom, but it was as close as it could be.

By the time El made it through the lunch line and had a plate full of french fries and assorted vegetables, she saw her friends already grouped together at their normal table.

“I’m telling you, Iron Man would defeat Batman in seconds. Think about the technology he’s working with. Fists are no match for guns!”

El saw Lucas nearly standing up in his chair across from Will, using a french fry as pointer. Lucas was dating but not really dating Max. But Lucas was El’s friend long before Max made her way into Hawkins. Lucas lived just a few houses down from El. They practically grew up together. So you can see the bind El was in when Lucas and Max started not really dating but dating.

Will, on the other hand, joined the party in first grade. He lives farther out of the town, but that doesn’t stop him from being with everyone whenever he gets the chance. While Lucas was loud, Will was the quiet giant. Smarter than hell, which is why he and El don’t have classes together, and kinder than a puppy.

“Just because Batman doesn’t kill that doesn’t mean he’s any less powerful than a man who is nothing without his suit!” Dustin was walking a line between calm and livid. The spilled milk, El guessed, came as a result of Dustin’s expressive arm movements.

“Max,” Will butted in, “if Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark were to fight with no weapons or gadgets, who would win?”

El took a seat at the edge of the table next to Max and Lucas and across from Dustin and Will. Dustin seemed like he wasn’t too worked up about what had happened before, and El was grateful for that. As long as the topic didn’t come up, he rest of the day could go on as planned.

“I don’t think it’s much of a contest,” Max replied simply, acting as though there wasn’t weight resting on her response. “If we’re talking no weapons, Tony vs Bruce, Bruce wins.”

“See! I told you...” Dustin yelled as he threw his hands in the air, only to see Max put her hands out as a sign that she wasn’t done talking.

“But,” Max said softly, “If it’s Iron Man vs Batman, Iron Man wins.”

“Max!” Will rolled his eyes and sighed, obviously not content with her answer. “You never solve anything. You’re as non-confrontational as El!”

El felt a shift in the air at Will’s remark. It was true, she wasn’t one for confrontation and rarely did she go on the attack. It made life as the police chief’s daughter easy.

“Speaking of El and confrontation,” Dustin said, casually pushing ketchup around his plate with a half eaten french fry, “who’s the new kid in History?”

El directed her glance down to the fruit on her plate. Maybe if I show that I don’t want to talk about it he’ll recognize that and let it be?

“The one with the messy hair?” Max smiled as she recalled the disheveled boy from class. “What’s his name?”

“Michael,” El responds, still fiddling with her uneaten lunch.

“Well,” Dustin remarks pointedly, “tell Michael that he has to find a new seat because I’ve been there since the first day.”

“He took your seat?” Lucas looked at Dustin and raised his eyebrows.

“And I got a detention because Harold is sadistic!” Dustin was shouting again. “All I did was put my head down, which I do every class, and he just yelled! If I had been in the second row he wouldn’t see me but since Michael took my seat I had to sit in the front and Harold hates people who sit in the front and don’t pay attention.”

“Dustin,” Lucas said sympathetically, “don’t you think you’re over reacting?”

“I’m not overreacting!” Dustin was, in fact, overreacting.

El had been quiet for most of the discussion. And with reason. Sure, the argument wasn’t about her, but it directly involved her. So it was, to her, the same thing. El noticed that Will had been avoiding his food in exchange for silent contemplation.

“Hold on,” Will spoke up, “new kid, messy brown hair…”

El shot will a glare at Will that screamed if you say one more word I will murder you. Before Will could even break a smile a forced cough came from behind El.

“Um,” El heard, and, turning around, she saw none other than the topic of conversation. El chose to ignore Dustin’s offhand comment that came under his breath loud enough to be heard but quiet enough that it was for the party and not the new kid.

“I just wanted to give you your textbook back,” Michael said with a shaky voice. He held out El’s textbook in front of him.

“I have a copy at home,” El said with a smile. “You keep it.”

It was true, El did have multiple copies of her major textbooks, even for History. It was a method she used to avoid forgetting her books at school and then having panic attacks at home when she couldn’t complete her homework because she left her book at school. After the third time her father had to call the principal at night to open the doors, El thought it was best to have an extra copy, just in case.

“Oh,” Michael reponsed. “Thanks.” He turned and made his way out of the lunch room, practically sprinting.

No one at the table spoke up, rather, they each turned to their food and basked in the quiet conversation. El felt like some kind of bubble in her stomach. She was a internalizing fumes of anger and a mix of empathy and sympathy for Michael. And without thought she converted that feeling into words without hesitation.

“You don’t have to be mean to him,” El said, focusing on her hands. She was picking at her fingernails unconsciously. “He seems really nice and you’re not giving him a chance.”

Lucas and Max looked at each other and then over to Dustin, who was still moving around the leftover food on his plate. Will was quiet and had his head down.

“We have to start working with Mr. Clarke after school today for the Science Fair project. I’m going to invite him and you could apologize to him.” Even though El wasn’t looking directly at Dustin, the sharp words were quite clear.

“Sure, whatever you want,” Dustin said as he rolled his eyes.

“Please don’t talk to me like that,” El responded quickly, pulling her hands up from under the table to get her plate. Her left thumb was covered in blood, pooling from the edge of her nail. She grabbed what was left of her lunch and, with her backpack in tow, left the table with little intent to hear his apology.

El sat through English, usually her favorite subject, and didn’t participate. Rather than take notes on poetry and something about symbolism, El drew lines in her notebook. At first they were short, vertical parallel  lines in the corner of the page. Then they went diagonal. Lines started crossing each other. They were heavy lines, soft lines, lines on top of lines. And by the end of the period, the entire top of her page was colored in. Lucas and Max, who were also in class, gave El her space. She appreciated that.

The last period of the day was study hall. A blessing from the school guidance counselor, who made sure El got to choose her schedule. Having the last period off made the day shorter and, occasionally, allowed for more planning for after school activities.

El had study hall alone, which was why she got most of her homework done there, when she wanted to. After the day that she had, El was ready to use this free period for what most students used it for: sleep.

As she opened the door to the English classroom that served as the study hall room, El was greeted by Ms. Bell. Ms. Bell was the closest thing El had to a mother. She was kind and understanding, more so than any teacher El previously had. She came to her when she was having issues with her friends, with other teachers, even when she was having issues that her friends didn’t even know about.

And El loved her because she let her sleep.

But as El turned from the door to settle into her usual seat in the middle of the room, Michael was sitting a few rows back. Just my luck.

El took in a deep breath and quietly walked through the rows of desks to her normal seat. Focusing in on her chair rather than risk the chance of looking at Michael and locking eyes, El overlooked the backpack that was resting on the floor and, with an ungraceful fall, tripped and hit the ground nose first.

It happened so fast that she didn’t have time to react. Lying on the floor El felt her nose become warm and placed a finger under her nose. It was red.

In the moment that El had seen her finger Michael had rushed over and got down on his knees. He pulled a packet of tissues out from his pocket and handed them to El.

“Here,” Michael laughed. “You’re gonna need these.”

El sat up and reached for the tissues. She carefully pulled one out and stuffed it in her nose. She took another and wiped the spot of blood that was on the floor.

The pain in her nose was petty compared to the acid that was eating away the walls in her stomach. She felt like she was in shock, as if the thought that everyone was thinking about her made her freeze.

“Michael,” Ms. Bell said calmly, “take El down to the nurse.”

“I can do it myself,” El said with a nasally tone. As she stood up she had to grab hold of the nearest desk, her feet loose under her weight.

“Yea,” Ms Bell chuckled, “that’s not happening. I’m going to call the nurse and tell her to expect two people.”

El started to make her way to the door and went to open it but was cut off by Michael. This boy is going to be the death of me I swear.

“You don’t have to do this, Michael,” El said, keeping her eyes on her feet to avoid another fall.

“Please, call me Mike. Only my parents call me Michael.” El looked up and noticed that his hands were shaking. “And I don’t think that you have much of a choice with the state you’re in.”

“I’m sorry to put you through this,” El said softly. Mike. It fits him more than Michael.

“No, it’s fine. I wanted to move around a bit. I’m not very good at sitting down for a long time.” Mike let out a short laugh, and El had to stop herself from smiling. It hurt her nose too much.

Normally El liked the silence. It was never awkward for her. But walking next to the boy that she had been wondering about for the last few days, El felt like there was nothing to do but get to know him.

“You’re new here,” El said simply. It was more of a question but it sounded more like an accusation. Mike smiled and scratched behind his ear.

“Yea, good guess,” Mike joked. “I’m from Chicago but my parents thought it would be a nice change to leave the city and come out to a quieter place. I can’t really argue with them.”

“I was born in Chicago,” El said, starting to pick her thumb again. “But my dad moved us out here. We live on Windsor street.”

“I live on Windsor street too! Wouldn’t it be funny if we were neighbors?” Mike continued to smile and laugh slightly. El noticed that his hands were starting to shake again. Would this be the right time to tell him that you’ve been watching him from your window for the last few days?

“I’m sorry about how my friends are,” El said, turning to face Mike. He was counting the numbers above the doors. “They’re not very good with letting people in. Especially Dustin. When his dad left we got a lot of the anger.”

Mike only nodded and continued to walk side by side with El.

When they arrived at the nurses office, it was quiet as usual. El was friends with the nurse, as with most of the teachers. She was quiet, kept out of trouble, and was kind. That’s all the teachers needed.

“Another nosebleed, Eleanore?” The nurse asked as she rummaged through the medicine closet.

“She tripped and fell,” Mike answered before El could respond.

“Oh dear,” the nurse said as she turned to see El’s face. El’s nose was stuffed with red tissues in both nostrils. The nurse pinched El’s nose and El took in a sharp breath. “I think you may have broken your nose, sweetie. Sit down and I’ll put a splint on it until you go see a doctor.”

El followed the nurses orders and sat herself on the cold metal table that was for the sick children. Mike sat down next to her and smiled when El tilted her head back so she could take out the two tissues.

“This isn’t funny,” El said as she slowly pulled the tissues out.

“This is going to hurt,” the nurse said, gently placing a cloth on top of the bridge of El’s nose.

It came like a paper cut, a quick, but immensely sharp pain that was nothing like what El felt when she fell. She closed her eyes and reached her left hand out and grabbed hold of the closest thing possible to squeeze away some of the pressure.

It wasn’t until she opened her eyes again that she realized that she had grabbed Mike’s hand and nearly broken that too. Coming to her senses, El quickly let go and placed her hand in her lap. Mike left his in between them. His hand was soft and warm, almost like her own. It wasn’t an old hand but something sweeter.

“I’m going to go and get some ice. Don’t fall again, you hear me?” The nurse chuckled at her own joke, which wasn’t even a joke in the first place. She quietly made her way out of the office and left El and Mike alone.

El wouldn’t call it electricity. She felt excited. Her heart was racing and it must have been the adrenaline because she couldn’t feel the pain that had previously rendered her nose useless. But there was something in the way that Mike sat there. He was quiet, yes, but he was respectful. It was as if he knew she liked the silence too.

El started to pick at her fingernails again, this time stopping right as the nurse returned.

After a few words exchanged about not touching it and getting to a doctor soon, the nurse sent them on their way, although there was little time left before the final bell.

In the hallway, Mike waited as El slowly made her way out the door.

“Thanks,” El said with a smile. She looked at his eyes. She never realized how tall he was, seemingly towering over her.

“No problem,” Mike replied. He kept his hands in his pockets, and El could see that his hands were shaking.

“We have this science fair project that we’re working on in a half hour. You should come and meet everyone.” El looked at him and raised her eyebrows. She studied his eyes, dark brown circles that were deeper than she’d ever seen before.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Mike said, his hands now shaking more than before.

“Mr. Clarke’s room. Three thirty.” El turned and walked away, not worrying about the hesitation in Mike’s voice.

He was coming. She knew it. Maybe he wasn’t going to be the death of her after all.

taglist: @fatechica @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @earlgreyteagirl @bitchin-promises

[ilikeoldchangke]

My evil step sisters

This is a work of fiction

...........................................................

Having read enough fairy tales, I was mentally prepared for an evil step mother when my father remarried.

My biological mother passed on when I was really young and I barely had any impression of her. My father raised me single handed while running his export business.

He eventually got to know my stepmum, Wen. Wen is the complete opposite of what fairy tales describe stepmothers to be.

She did not try to give me a poison apple nor did she deprive me of clothes or force me to do housework. Wen is caring, kind and is a very patient women.

She is capable at work too and she gets along really well with my father.  

I’m truly happy that he found her as a life partner because I know she will take care of him.

I was 16 when they got married. Not exactly young but not yet an adult. It was my ‘o’ level year but I knew I have no hope of passing.

I just didn’t like studying. The only thing I enjoyed doing is to read. Novels, story books, fables, everything. I would devour it all. No prizes for guessing where is the favourite place to spend my time.

The library.

I’m also quiet and reserved in school with few friends. I don’t really enjoy talking and interaction, so you can pretty much imagine how much of a geek I am.

That quiet little kid in the corner of the class that can sometimes be forgotten.

I just want to be left in my world of books.

With my dad’s marriage, comes new addition to the family.

My stepmother, Wen is a divorcee, she has a pair of twin daughters from her previous marriage.

Cindy & Bella are identical twins, they are one year older than me.

When I was introduced to them, they were studying at one of the top Junior college in the country.

Cindy & Bella , are the complete opposite of their mother in terms of character.

They are the kind of evil stepsisters that belonged to fairy tales and fables.

What made things worst was that My father and I moved in to stay with them for easier commute.

I have a direct bus to my school while my stepsisters can simply walk to their elite Junior college along Bukit Timah.

My stepmother’s place is a private property with 3 bedrooms.

So when we shift in, one of my stepsister, Bella, has to vacate her room to make space for me.

Can you imagine what this does to a teenage girl ?

The amount of hate and contempt they already harboured for me went up several folds.

On the surface, Cindy and Bella are really nice and sweet.

They will smile and say everything is fine, they don’t mind it at all and they welcome a little brother into the family. They even offered to give me tuition to help me improve my grades.

However, once the adults are gone, which is something very frequent, they will show their true colours.

My dad and my stepmother travel frequently for work.

It was always a couple of days to Hong Kong or Shenzhen. They never stayed long because they wanted to spend more time with us but as their business takes off, their trips start to get longer.

Still, they did their best to keep it within 3 to 4 days max.

Now, during the days when they are not around, my life became a living hell around Cindy and Bella.

No one will be able to tell how dark their hearts are from the surface.

They are so pretty and hot. My twin step sisters were frequently named the belle of their cohort. At 1.6m tall with long shapely legs, Cindy and Bella had no lack of suitors.

There is always some guy walking them home.

Every couple of days, there would be deliveries of flowers or gifts to the house.

Cindy and Bella not only look good, they are smart too, already getting that coverted ‘A’ which has eluded me since Primary school.

My ordeal starts the moment my parents leave for the airport.

Bella : get out of my room James… you stupid dick….and change back the bedsheets to my old one….

James : ok….

I would first be evicted out of my room.

I was made to change the bedsheets and covers and bring whatever stuff I needed out because I would not be allowed to enter that room again until my parents are back.

The sofa is where I would sleep.

The harassment did not stop there.

My stepsisters are hot and I’m just a growing male. Like many others, I would steal glances at their body.

Sometimes I would get a hard erection staring at their legs.

Cindy and Bella are aware of my darting eyes, they know, yet they deliberately tease me.

Sometimes Cindy would walk around the house without bra.

Sometimes Bella would put on a pair of loose cotton shorts and take the seat opposite me. She would cross her legs seductively and watch my reaction.

I wanted to read my book but it was too distracting.

I kept wanting to steal glances at my step sisters.

Cindy : what are you looking at ?? you pervert….are you a pervert??? Is that what you are ???

Sometimes they would lash out at me if they are not in the right mood or when it’s the time of the month.

Bella : You are a loser James you know that…. This is Singapore…. If you are not good in your studies… that’s it… you are a loser….!!

Verbal abuses are just the tip of the iceberg.

They would throw their worn clothes at me.

Cindy would go workout at the gym in the condo and come back with her t-shirt soaked in sweat. She would remove it and drape it over my head without warning.

Cindy : hahaha.. hahaha Bella help…. Quick !!

James : arhhhh..ahhh.. no… no  … please stop….anhhh

I would get an instant hardon.

Cindy’s fresh perspiration smelled so good and she forcibly held her top around my face. Bella would quickly jump me too.

The sisters would laugh and amuse themselves at how weak and useless I am.

My hardon did not go unnoticed.

Bella would force my legs apart and tried to take photo for my hardon.

Bella : look… sick pervert….hahaha… Sis… look… James like your wet t-shirt smell… hahaha… he’s having a hardon… hahah…

Cindy :take picture of it… quick !!

I’m not only quiet and reserve, my body is pretty frail as well. Not that I fall sick all the time but my stepsisters are a lot stronger than me too.

Cindy swims everyday and represents her school in national competitions.

Bella is a member of the school track and field.

So you can imagine how inadequate I am despite me being a male.

I had to do all the dishes, wash all the clothes and keep the house clean while my parents were away.

I had to hand wash my step sister’s panties and bra with them standing behind me. They enjoyed watching me do it.

Cindy : I bet he will take and smell if we are not looking….

Bella : he’s such a faggot…. I think he will wear them hahaha

My stepsisters laughed as they continued their jest.

When I brought home my ‘O’ level results, it was terrible. The only pass I got was an ‘A’ for English. I flung the rest of the subjects.

Wen and my dad are pretty understanding. They knew I don’t like studying so they didn’t force me.

In front of the adults, Cindy put her arm around my shoulders and encouraged me.

Cindy : it’s ok James….results is not everything….

Bella : yeah…. Cheer up…. I’m sure once you find your field of interest…. You will excel….

Wen : I’m so glad to see you kids get along so well together….

Dad : yeah… me too… I was still worried initially about you guys….  

My stepsisters reassured our parents everything is fine and that they will always be there for me if I need them.

Wen : Then I think it’s time we tell you our plans to expand the business….

There is a lot of opportunities abroad , which is why our parents are suggesting that they fly out every Monday, coming back only on Friday.

My heart dropped when I heard that news and I could see Cindy and Bella fighting back their grins.

From the looks on their faces, they were definitely looking forward to spend more time alone with me.

The abuse and tease got worse.

Cindy would walk out of her room without bra. Can you imagine that ? I was shocked of course and of course I looked.

Cindy : what are you looking at ?? you pervert !!!

She would cover her tits then slap me and hit me on my head.

I would apologise but it was not enough for her.

Bella said that it was only fair that I show them my privates since I saw theirs.

If was not a request, it was a instruction.

Cindy held onto me before Bella pulled my pants down, exposing my hardon.

Bella : ooooohhhh….. Little brother is not that little after all…. Hahaha

Cindy : hahaha… ohhhhh James… pervert…. See my tits and get hardon…. Hahaha

I felt truly helpless but there is nothing I could do.

Both my step sisters have my naked pictures on their phones.

Cindy and Bella took my daily allowance of $15 as well, and if I wanted it back, I was to beg and work for it.

Bella: Stick my sanitary pad for me on my panty…. Do it and I’ll give you $2…. Hahah

Cindy : take off my socks for me James….hahah.. with your mouth….ill give you $5…. Hahah

Bella : Sis…!!! You are sick !!! you’ve been wearing that pair of socks for 3 days already…. !!

Cindy : hahaha yeah… and I sweat quite a bit lately….

I had no choice, I wanted the money.

Peace only comes when the girls went to school and I could go to my library. I would spend most of my time there , returning home only when the library closes.

This went on for a while until it suddenly stopped.

They stopped picking on me out of the blue. It was abrupt.

Eventually I found out they were attached, they have boyfriends now. Both of them. Another pair of twins in the same school

I was so thrilled that they no longer had time for me.

I was finally left alone, for a while.

A while.

It lasted about 3 months and just before their ‘A’ levels, they broke up.

Both broke up.

It was initiated by the guys.

When they came back home screaming and shouting at me that day, I knew something was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

Their first relationship did not turn out to be that fairy tale they envisioned it would be.

Cindy and Bella snapped.

A switch has been flicked.

I could see it in their eyes.

It was a Friday and the adults are due back in a couple of hours, I was safe for the weekend.

However I could see with each passing moment, Cindy and Bella are both hoping that my parents leave for their work.

On that Monday morning, the family had breakfast together at the table.

My parent’s luggage were packed and ready by the door.

My stepsisters are already in their JC uniforms.

I was dressed too, I intend to leave home immediately and not come back until it’s late at night.

I wanted to avoid Cindy and Bella.

Wen : alright… we got a flight to catch… behave yourselves okay….

Cindy : we will…

Dad : alright.. see you all end of the week….

I got up too but Bella held onto my wrist.

Bella : James… sit…. I have something to discuss with you….

I don’t want to but Cindy chipped in.

Cindy : It’s your birthday this week right… let us celebrate it for you….

James : No… it’s ok…it’s ok…..

Dad : That’s a good idea…. We’ll be back late on Friday….we’ll do a family lunch on Saturday…..

Bella : No worries… we will celebrate with James…

Cindy : yeah… our little brother’s 17th birthday !! yeyyyy!!

I looked at our parents , hoping I could telepathically send them a help message but I can’t.

I watched them leave the house and the click of the lock sounded louder than I remembered.

Cindy and Bella’s smile left their faces as I tried to back away to go back to my room.

Cindy : come here !!

Bella : JAMES !!

James :what… what… what did I do… ?? what did I do wrong now… ?

Cindy : men are all pigs ….

Bella : The only wrong thing you did…. Is being born a man…

I can’t believe they are taking out their failed relationship on me.

Cindy suddenly grabbed my privates and I groaned in pain. Bella yanked my hair forcefully to the side.

James :ahhhh.. arghhhhhhhh… please… stop…..

From the look in their eyes, I knew my life with my stepsisters would never be the same again.

My role is not just that of a stepbrother.

I was their punching bag, I was their stress buster.

And the most unfortunate thing of all, I was made to….

I was made to…

I was forced to pleasure my stepsisters in ways I never knew possible.

……………………………………………………

11000 words

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[astro-b-o-y-d]

The Long Road Home Pt. 1

The next three chapters of SOSO are finally here! Author’s notes and additional fic warnings are on Ao3. And trust me, you’ll want to read them.

[Read on Ao3]

"Took you nerds long enough to get here!"

"Nikki, there are other stops before ours," Max said, as he stepped out of the bus and onto the pavement.

"Yeah, we don't have big jock friends who can drive us around like you!" Neil added, following suit.

Nikki laughed as they came to a stop beside her. "Hey, I asked if you guys wanted to be picked up from school, but you said no."

"Yeah, because Stasson likes to keep his front windows rolled down at fifty miles an hour," Neil pointed out. "I catch colds easily, Nik, you know that!"

"Plus, the guy's taste in music is shit," Max added, kicking a pebble off the sidewalk as they began to head up the street.

"Hey, I thought you liked metal!" Nikki pointed out.

"Yeah, I do," Max said. "But there's good metal and then there's metal that sounds like screws in a blender. In a washing machine."

"Says the guy who listens to Hatred of Red Olives," Neil said with a smirk.

Max scowled at him. "You got something you wanna fucking say to me?"

"Yeah, I wanna say your taste in music is pretentious," Neil said smugly. "I mean, really? 'Hatred of Red Olives'? What the fuck does that name even mean?"

"Maybe they just really hate red olives," Max said defensively, and tossed his hands up in the air. "Maybe the 'red olives' represent the man keeping us all down. Fuck if I know! Either way, their music's amazing and highly underrated."

"Hey, speaking of olives," Nikki said. "You think David will let us order pizza for dinner?"

"God, I hope so," Max said. "It's perfect movie night food."

"So, what movie are we deciding on, anyway?" Neil asked.

"I think 'The Cult Camp of Murder-Suicide Lake' is on tonight," Nikki said.

Max rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I think I'll pass on Daniel's biography, thanks."

"Oh, wow, I'd completely forgotten about him," Nikki said. "God, that was a weird day, wasn't it?"

"If by weird, you mean we almost died," Max said, "then yeah, I'd say it was really weird."

"Think he lived through that whole Kool-Aid thing?" Neil asked.

"I fucking hope not," Max said, making a face. "Now, I'm not normally one to believe in being assigned to a place after death based on your actions in life, but if I were, I would hope that he's drinking rat-poison-flavored Kool-Aid in the deepest pit of Hell for all eternity."

"You guys ever wonder what it'd feel like to die?" Nikki asked curiously. "I mean, not like...by killing yourself as a part of some horrible cult or anything, but just in general. You think it would hurt?"

Max stopped mid-step. "You know, it's funny...I've actually thought a lot about that since my parents died."

Nikki's smile fell. "Oh, Max, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"No, it's fine," Max said. "I don't really do it much anymore, not since I moved in with David. But sometimes when I was really miserable, I'd just think about what would have happened if I decided to stay home the night of the fire. Whether I would have been able to catch it in time, or if I would have just died with my parents? Did they die in their sleep or did they suffer? Would I have suffered? Pretty morbid shit like that."

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Neil giving him a sympathetic look. "You okay, pal? You need to get anything off your chest?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Max assured him, as he started walking again. "I can stop being a downer if you want."

"Hey, if you need to talk, we're all ears," Neil said. "Right, Nikki?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Nikki said as she began to balance on the edge of the curb. "You can trust us, Max."

"I know I can," Max said. "You guys are amazing. But honestly, there's not much else to say about it. They died and I was shipped off to a foster home. End of story."

"Wait, did you even get to attend their funeral?" Neil asked.

"Nope," Max said. "They didn't get one."

"They didn't?" Nikki asked.

"We have no family in this country," Max admitted. "And we weren't close to anyone outside of it. So there was no one outside of a depressed, jobless, fourteen-year-old to pay for a funeral, which meant they didn't get one at all."

"Wow..." Neil said in disbelief. "Life really can't cut you a break, can it?"

"You have no idea, pal."

"Hey, is that David's car?"

Nikki's question caused Max to turn his gaze from Neil and towards David's home at the end of the street. "...That is David's car. What the fuck is he doing home so early?"

"Maybe he quit his job?" Nikki suggested.

Max raised an eyebrow at her. "David? Quit a job that involves caring for children? One of the thing he loves more than life itself?"

"...Good point."

"Maybe he got sick?" Neil said. "It's almost flu season."

"Of course you would know that," Max said as they crossed the lawn. "But he was fine this morning. Wouldn't shut the fuck up about how it was 'Music Day' and he was going on and on about how excited he was to play his guitar for the kids."

They came to a stop before the front door and Max tested the doorknob. Unlocked. With a shrug, he pushed the door open and led Neil and Nikki inside. "Hey, David, you home?"

There was no response.

"David?" Max said again, a little louder as he dropped his bag by the door. "Hello?"

"Maybe he's in the backyard?" Nikki suggested, as her and Neil followed suit with the backpack-dropping.

"Doubtful," Max said, as they headed towards the kitchen. "He did all the yard work a few days ago, and he only goes to stare wistfully at the woods behind the house on Mondays and Thursdays."

"...He only stares at them, and doesn't...like...go hiking through them or something?" Neil asked.

"I think it's some kind of comfort thing," Max said with a shrug. "You know, reminds him of the camp?"

"Again, he can't just go hiking?" Neil asked.

"Look, he—"

Max froze as they passed by the dining room. David was seated at the table, his back to the doorway and his head low. On the table before him, Max could see the familiar pages of the Camp Campbell scrapbook that David would normally display on the coffee table with pride.

Something was wrong. Very wrong. Not the usual, David-sized levels of wrong, which were normally reserved for stupid things like 'birds picking at the flower bed in the backyard' or 'the store being out of his favorite brand of trail mix'.

No, something was 'day-at-the-bonfire' levels of wrong and a wave of fear rushed through Max as the possibilities of what might be wrong began to rise in his head.

One terrifying possibility bubbled to the front of his mind before he could push it back and pretend it never existed, and a strong, aching feeling in his chest followed. Had David, for some reason, lost the right to be his guardian? Had his social worker decided that David wasn't fit to parent him?

...Had David...grown sick of him?

Max made a face at his own stupid thoughts. David was obnoxious, peppy, and annoying beyond belief, but he cared about Max more than Max probably cared about himself.

Plus, even if David had grown sick of him, it's not like it was anything he wasn't used to by now, right? ...No need to get all worked up over the same bullshit he had grown used to over the past year.

...Right?

"David?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual and uninterested. "Is...everything okay?"

David nearly jumped at the sound of Max's voice, and used one hand to slam the scrapbook closed. "Kids! I didn't realize you were home!"

"We said your name like...twice," Neil pointed out.

"Oh, right, of course." David rose from his chair, his back still to the kids as he began to head for the kitchen. "I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere. I haven't even started making dinner-"

"It's only four, David," Max said.

"We could order pizza!" Nikki said excitedly.

"Nikki, shut up," Max hissed, before looking back to David. "Something's wrong, David. Don't lie to us, what is it?"

David stopped in the kitchen doorway. "...Nothing's wrong, Max."

"Then look us in the eyes and tell us that."

David was silent for a moment, before his shoulders fell in defeat. "...Mr. Campbell...passed away this morning."

"...Oh."

Well...he hadn't expected that. And he definitely wasn't sad about Campbell in the slightest. The shifty old asshole could rot in Hell (or whatever waited for him in an afterlife that may or may not exist) for all he cared. And he was definitely relieved that David's mood hadn't been caused by something else (something he definitely wouldn't have been upset over at all and no one could prove he would have been).

But it felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold, icy water over him in the middle of winter. Numbness, shock, and a mess of other painful emotions had manifested in the pit of his stomach and Neil and Nikki tensing up beside him only made the feeling worse.

"'Heart attack,' they told me over the phone," David continued, clearly attempting (and failing) to hide the shaking in his voice. "I...He was always such a strong man, I...I didn't think...I thought he'd..."

He took a deep breath and finally turned to face the kids. It was more than obvious he'd been crying for a long while, and was smiling widely in an attempt to hide that fact. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter," he said in a falsely-cheerful voice. "No one can live forever, right? This day was bound to come eventually. It's not as if I secretly hoped that one day, he'd be released from prison and maybe things could just...pick up where they left off all those years ago—"

"David..."

The smile fell and David sank into the chair closest to the kitchen doorway, his head in his hands. "I haven't seen him in about three months," he said, no longer making an attempt to hold back his tears. "I could have made more time, maybe taken a week off and went upstate to visit him every day. There was so much more I could have done..."

He lifted his head and wiped the tears from his face. "I'm sorry, kids. I know this is probably worrying you—"

"What about the funeral?" The question escaped Max before he could process it, and he could practically feel Neil and Nikki's eyes on him. "Aren't you going to his funeral?"

David hung his head. "There...isn't going to be a funeral. Mr. Campbell left a lot of debt in his wake, and the prison didn't want to 'waste more money on him.'"

And now Max felt like someone had dumped another bucket of cold water over him in the middle of the Arctic, as his thoughts drifted back to the conversation he, Neil and Nikki had shared on the way home. About death, about his parents...about the night they died.

How they hadn't even been given a funeral due to their own lack of any family (outside of Max) to pay for it. How he'd only been given a short time to properly grieve before being shipped off to the first of many foster families, where he had been forced to either keep a lot of that grief to himself or unleash it in fits of anger or sadness. How said fits were was usually met with being kicked out and sent to another family.

Just a shitty cycle of attempting to mourn, only to be abandoned and alone.

And it had fucking sucked. It still fucking sucked.

He looked towards Nikki, who had a hand over her mouth and the faintest hint of tears forming in the corners of her eyes, and then to Neil, who looked like he wasn't sure how he should be feeling at the moment.

They had no idea, as far as Max was aware, what it was like to experience that kind of grief of losing someone you care about so strongly. To stay up late at night, as a million 'what could have been' scenarios played out in your head. What you could have done, if you could have done anythingat all. Regrets of not appreciating what you had when you had it. Moments where you wish that you could have been in their place instead of left alone to cry and grieve, and just...hurt.

Cry...grieve...

He could practically feel a light bulb go off in his mind. He hadn't gotten his chance to grieve, but...that didn't mean David couldn't get his chance. Max didn't care if it was about Campbell of all people, and he didn't care if it resulted in him having to answer a number of questions that he was positive Neil, Nikki, and or David would ask at some point or another.

Like Hell he was going to let anyone, especially David, go through what he did. Not if he could help it.

"Hey, David?"

David looked up from his hands. "Yes, Max?"

Max shuffled his feet, and tried to keep his usual, uninterested tone as he spoke: "You're really gonna sit there and tell me that you haven't thought about planning some kind of memorial service for the bastard? Come on, I thought I knew you better than that."

David's eyes widened. "What did you say?"

"I mean, sure, Campbell was a real piece of shit and I'm not going to pretend he wasn't," Max continued. "But if you can't have a funeral for him, then why not do the next best thing and just...have a memorial service? I'm sure there's probably a ton of other camp-loving weirdos who would want to come mourn his death, too. I mean, just because our summer hated the place doesn't mean all of them did, right?"

"Hey, yeah, you're right," Neil said thoughtfully. "If that place was open since David was a kid, then statistically there had to have been summers where the campers actually enjoyed themselves and actually wanted to be there."

"I wanted to be there," Nikki said.

"Yeah, but you're one of the only ones during our summer who did," Max pointed out. "I'm talking about entire groups of campers who actually had fun during their stay at Camp Campbell. Groups of people who have actually-fond childhood memories of that place, as shocking as the idea sounds, and who'd be upset to hear that Campbell kicked the bucket. So why not throw a memorial service and let everyone grieve together. You know, 'misery loves company' or what-the-fuck-ever? I don't know, it sounded cooler in my head..."

David's expression had grown more brighter and hopeful with every word, and his wide, happy smile had returned by the time Max's sentence trailed off. "You know, I think that sounds like an amazing idea, Max! We wouldn't have to do anything too big or fancy—"

"Honestly, spending as little money as possible would be the best tribute to that asshole's memory," Max said, rolling his eyes.

"-but we could still do something instead of just sitting here and crying over what could have been!" David continued cheerfully. "I could make some calls, get in touch with my old counselors, maybe see if they might be able to help get invitations out to any other Camp Campbell alumni who'd want to attend!"

"I could probably convince Harrison to come," Neil said. "And he could probably convince Nerris. I know it's not much, but hey, at least you know you'll have two guarantees."

"There's a dollar store near my school," Nikki added. "My team always gets decorations there for our after-game parties. Though they might still be out of all the black and blue ones after our last shindig... Maybe we can just get white tablecloths and spray paint them black? I know a guy with spray paint, I can call around."

"And there's plenty of room in the backyard to hold the service," Max pointed out. "I'm sure those other camp-loving assholes will love having the forest as the event backdrop."

David stared at him with a fond expression, as tears of joy replaced the ones of sorrow in his eyes. "You know what, I think hosting a memorial service is the perfect way to honor Mr. Campbell's passing. Max, how did you come up with something so clever? I mean, not that I'm surprised in the slightest, you're a very smart child—"

"Yeah, yeah, enough of the compliments," Max said, ignoring the looks that he was positive Neil and Nikki were giving him. "Just go start making plans before I regret giving you the idea in the first place."

------------------------

"Yes, thank you, Darla!" David said happily into his phone. "I can't wait to see you and Gregg there!"

Max looked up from his notebook. "Is she coming?"

David nodded as he ended the call. "She says that throwing a memorial service for Mr. Campbell is a fantastic idea, and that she cannot wait until next Saturday. And she's more than happy to get the word out to any of the other campers she might have counselor-ed during her time at the camp." He sniffled softly and reached up to wipe his eyes. "Gosh, she's just as sweet as she was back when I was a kid..."

"Don't start crying again," Max said, as he scribbled a 'yes' next to the name on the page. "Just call the next person."

"So, I've got some good news," Nikki said through a mouthful of pizza. "I texted Cookie, and he's still got the black tablecloths from our last party, with only a few tears from when one of the guys was dared to do a handstand on the table. And then fell off the table. It was awesome!"

"I think we should just go ahead and buy new ones," Max said, reaching for his own slice from the box. "Also...there's a guy on your team named Cookie?"

"Uh, yeah!" Nikki said. "We call him that because he's the best baker on the team. He makes these caramel cookies that taste like..." She made a motion of approval with her hands.

"Sea-salt?" Max asked.

"Of course, he's not an animal."

Max snorted as he looked around. "Where the Hell'd Neil go?"

"I think he stepped outside to call Harrison and Nerris," David said with a smile. "I definitely can't wait to see them again! They were such good kids."

"You've said that about all of us, and you're been wrong every time," Max pointed out, as he stood up and headed for the back door. "I'm gonna go tell him to get his ass back in here before Nikki eats all the pizza."

"Hey, he snoozes, he loses," Nikki said, as she reached for another slice.

Max rolled his eyes as he pulled the back door open and stepped out into the warm evening. Sure enough, Neil was seated on the bench at the edge of the deck, his phone against his ear and a smile on his face.

"Yeah, of course we can," he was saying softly. "It sounds great, babe."

Babe? Max's smile widened. "Hey, lovebird. You wrapping it up anytime soon?" he asked quietly as he approached the bench.

Neil looked at him and nodded, before turning his attention back to the phone. "I gotta go, but I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? ...I love you, too. Goodnight."

His cheeks flushed, he hung up the phone and looked at Max. "Harrison says he and Nerris can make it to the service, and they'll even help us with setting up. They've been working on some levitation spells that they'd like to put into practice."

"Yeah, and the whole 'babe' thing?" Max asked, sitting down next to him.

Neil's face grew redder. "We're getting lunch tomorrow. Can you and David cover for us if my mom calls here?"

"Yeah, you know I will," Max said.

"You're the best," Neil said, giving him a playful nudge.

Max smiled and nudged him back. "You really like him, don't you?"

Neil's expression softened. "Yeah, I really do. Max, he's...God, he's really great."

"You big sap," Max said, crossing his arms. "So, can I be best man at your wedding?"

"Come on, we're not that serious."

Max raised an eyebrow. "You're only saying that because you've already promised the role to someone else, haven't you?"

"Oh, absolutely," Neil said. "Sorry, pal. First come, first serve."

Max let out a laugh. "Oh, speaking of serve, I came out here to warn you that Nikki's going to eat all the pizza if you don't come back inside. Plus we could use another phone to call up potential service guests."

"Right, right," Neil said. "Can I ask you something, though?"

Oh, God, there it was. The inevitable questioning. "I know what you're going to ask, Neil. And no, I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Neil gave him a look. "Max, as soon as David said that Campbell wasn't getting a funeral, your face was as pale as a sheet."

"Your face is as pale as a sheet," Max said defensively.

"Max..."

Max looked out at the forest that lay past the backyard, darkened by the evening with only a few slivers of moonlight between the trees. "Look, losing someone you care about sucks, and not being able to get closure sucks harder. I just...didn't want David to go through what I did, okay? That's it."

"Is it really all it is?"

"It's all I feel like talking about," Max said. "I've unloaded enough of my problems on you."

"You know I don't mind listening," Neil pointed out.

"Yeah, but I don't want to be that friend," Max said. "The one who's constantly depressed and needs to always talk about his issues, to the point where everyone gets sicks of hearing about them. I've see it happen before, and I don't want it to happen with you or Nikki or David, because I actually like all of you."

Neil let out a laugh. "Max, come on. If we aren't sick of you by now, then we'll never be sick of you."

Max let his gaze drop to his hands sadly, a motion that Neil didn't miss. "...Oh. Oh, shit, you're not just making jokes as a way to cope with your issues this time, are you? You're really serious."

"Of course I'm serious," Max said. "You guys are the best thing to happen to me all year. But seeing David that broken up over Campbell, it just made me think of everything that happened to me before I moved here and I mean...you know how my year's been so far."

He pulled his legs up onto the bench and hugged them close. "You and Nikki are my best friends. I trust you two with a lot of things. But...a lot of bad shit's happened to me. And I know you say that you won't get tired of me even if I vent to you, but it's happened before and I just...can't help but be worried that it'll happen again. I don't...think I could handle that. No, fuck that, I know I couldn't handle it."

"Max, you're a strong kid," Neil said. "I'm sure—"

"Neil, you don't understand," Max said, hesitating for a moment before he continued: "...Before I moved in with David, I was in the worst place I've been in all year. It was around the anniversary of my folks' death, and I had...okay, a bad day's an understatement, but I that's what it was. I just...really missed my folks. I was having a hard time, a really hard time. You know what my foster parents at the time did when I tried to go to them for help?"

"What?"

"They told me they were too busy to deal with my problems right now," Max said grimly. "And that we could discuss it later. That's what a lot of them would say if I was having a bad day. 'Let's talk later' or 'suck it up' or they'd just straight up yell at me for being too emotional. They'd get angry with me or just ditch me altogether for being unable to cope with my feelings properly."

"Why the hell would all these people dedicate their time to being parents if they were just going to ditch their kid when things got rough?" Neil asked.

"Why would people dedicate their time to having a kid if they're going to abuse them, neglect them, or kick them out of the house for being gay?" Max countered.

"...Touche."

"There's a lot of people out there who only like the concept of having a kid," Max said, "but don't want to put the actual effort into caring for a real kid. One with their own thoughts and emotions and issues and all that parenting shit that isn't romanticized to Hell and back. And going through family after family like that makes you less and less willing to talk about your issues, to the point where you either repress everything or..." he touched his left arm. "...do something unhealthy."

He didn't dare look at Neil's reaction. "Max..."

"Like I said, I was at my lowest point with my last family," Max admitted. "Probably the lowest point of my life. I'm past it now, so don't start worrying that I'm going to do something drastic, because I'm not. But it did happen. I was just... so tired of everything. And when I couldn't turn to anyone that day, I...I couldn't do it anymore, Neil. I just wanted all of it to end."

He felt tears welling up in the corner of his eyes, which he brushed away quickly in the hopes Neil wouldn't notice. "I'm scared, Neil. I don't want to lose everything I've got here. Yeah, I talk a lot of shit, but I am not strong enough to go through all that again. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I actually go downstairs to the living room or to David's bedroom to make sure he's still there, just so I know that all of this isn't a dream and I'm not going to wake up with another family who doesn't give two shits about whether I live or die."

He inhaled and exhaled slowly. "It's just...really hard to process that things might finally be okay for me again, like really okay. And yeah, I knowDavid's great and I know I could talk to him about all my stupid problems. Hell, I talked to him the day I moved in, and it was like he hadn't changed at all since camp. He was so nice, so willing to listen..." He hugged his legs closer. "But, like...that doesn't just stop me from thinking that he'll get sick of me if I keep going to him with my stupid problems. Again, I know it's a stupid, stupid thought, because it's David, and he'd never grow sick of me. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about it, you know?"

He fell silent, as he waited for Neil to respond. However, a sharp pinching sensation to the side of his face caused him to yelp in pain and instinctively slap a hand to the spot. He looked at Neil, his fingers in the universal pose for pinching. "Dude, what the Hell?!"

"That was so you could be sure that this isn't a dream," Neil said. "Believe it or not, the pinching thing actually works."

Max's look of confusion melted into one of slight amusement. "You could have warned me, asshole."

"The shock factor would have increased the odds of you waking up, if this had been a dream," Neil pointed out. "But hey, you're still here, so it has to be real, right?"

"Not sure if that's exactly how that works, but I...do appreciate the sentiment," Max said. "As weird and nerdy as it was."

"And as for everything else," Neil said, his expression softening. "I know this is probably obvious advice, but I do think you should talk to David. Even if everything in your head's telling you not to, you should do it anyway. I mean, you said it yourself that you were happy here with David, right? Happier than you've been all year."

Max shrugged. "I mean, yeah."

"So clearly David's a much better guardian than any of the other ones you've had," Neil pointed out. "Which means he'd be more willing to help you than any of the others."

Max looked down again. "Look, I know you're right. But if I talk to him about it now, he'll just spend the next week worrying about me instead of focusing on the service. I don't want to take that away from him."

"Max..."

"I'll think about it," Max said. "But for now...I just can't. I'm just going to pretend everything's fine for a week, and let David mourn Campbell in peace without having to worry about me and my issues. He deserves that, at least."

"...Alright, man," Neil said, rising to his feet. "But if you...get to that low point again—"

"I'm not going to, Neil," Max said, following suit. "I can promise you that I won't."

"But if you do—"

"I won't, okay?" Max said, and touched his arm again. "I was in a bad place, and it only made things worse. I promised myself I'd never do it again and I'm not going back on that."

Neil gave him a nod. "Okay. And, you know, if it helps, you told me all that and I'm not sick of you. Wait, shit, that came out wrong—"

"No, I get it," Max said, a small smile on his face. "Thanks, Neil."

"Hey, heteros!" Nikki called from the back door. "Pizza's almost gone. Get in here, or I'm calling dibs on all of it."

"Nikki, come on!" Neil said. "I was in the middle of a phone call! With my boyfriend! That hetero comment shouldn't have an S!"

"Don't care, I'm gonna eat your slices if you aren't inside in negative five seconds!"

"Nikki!"

Nikki laughed as she ducked back into the house. Neil started to hurry after her, but Max grabbed his arm before he could head inside. "Hey, one last thing."

"Yeah?"

"Don't...tell David about what I said, okay?" Max said. "Nikki, sure, she can know, but...not David."

Neil was silent for a moment before he nodded. "I won't tell him. You should, but I won't."

"I know..."

With a sigh, Max let go of his arm and followed him back into the house, the sound of David's voice as he chatted with another potential service-attender over the phone greeting them as they stepped inside.

[clowngremlin]

today has been the first night in a few weeks that i don’t feel like absolute shit so im able to do the good things list!!! i should have done them all along, but i just felt really sad and didnt want to....without further ado, the good things list for the past couple of days:

sunday:

-went to multiple comic book stores and got some comics!!

-it was a beautiful day out, i actually had to take off my jacket and just be in a t shirt and jeans because it was so nice out!!

-got a large iced coffee with extra caramel

-went to the thrift store and tried on the ugliest sweater but didn’t buy it because i have too much clothing

-got a bubble tea from this bubble tea place i had been meaning to go to for months

-found out that the video game store near the sky train has mgs games for really cheap and so when i have money, im gonna go buy mgs4!!!

-my grandma and sister came over for dinner!!!!

-my grandma’s dog gets a special mention because i love him so much....his name is max and he is chumby but not in a way that’s unhealthy but in a way that he is just big boned dog!!! he is a very snuggly boy and loves to sit with me!!!

-my dad made a turkey and my grandma brought apple crumble!!!

-finished the umbrella academy!!

Monday:

-listened to a lot of mcr

-hung out with eli

-went for a walk in the big park near my house

not much happened monday, i was really sad for the most part 

tuesday:

-hung out with hope!!! we went to starbucks and i got a large caramel iced coffee, and we walked around the area and we went to the comic book store near my house, and we went to a wendy’s that was a liminal space!!! it was really nice to see them!!!

-it was a beautiful day out

-that’s all that really happened, i got kind of sad later on in the day for some reason

wednesday:

-woke up early to watch eli for my dad

-went into the city as a little outing!! went to a cool area and walked around and rode the bus a bit!!!

-this gets it own mention but i went to the value village in the area i was in and i found the best garf!!! it’s like a weird trophy thing and it was $3!!!

-while i was at the value village, someone complimented my pins and told me about a pin collecting group that meets up at the end of the month!! i might go!!

-got a large iced caramel coffee

-wore an excellent outfit that consisted of my mesh t shirt, plaid skinny jeans from hot topic, my jean vest that i put some pins on, my vans and i did some revenge era gerard way-esque eye makeup!!!

-went to the mall i used to work at to go to the hot topic, saw a pal who works there, got a junji ito pin and a neat patch!! 

-when i was at the mall, i saw one of my favorite regulars from my old job, and she asked why she hadn’t seen me lately and i told her i quit and she was really upset because everyone has been quitting and she was like “all my favorites are leaving!!! im going to phone head office and complain because this isn’t right!!! i have no shame!!!” because she asked me if i quit because of the new manager and i said yeah. she said she hopes to see me around, and i said she probably will!! im really glad i got to see her again because i was worried i’d never get to see her again!!! it also made me feel nice that someone liked me enough to be upset that i quit, because i was worried i wasnt any good at my job and that’s why the new manager was pressuring me to quit.....but i dont think that was the case!!

-went to the comic book store near the mall, had a nice conversation with the guy working there about the umbrella academy comics, and i found out that they can special order the comics i dont have in because they didnt have any in stock!! im gonna go back on the weekend when i have some money to get issues 4 and 5 of hotel oblivion!!! 

-got the biggest size of water at a starbucks and i was really surprised that they gave me it because at my work, we were only supposed to give people the tiny cups for water so when they asked me what size i wanted i was like ?? i can choose?? the big size please!! and they gave me a trenta!!

-had sushi for dinner!!!

thursday (today):

-my sister came over for a little bit this morning!! i didnt know she was coming, so it was nice to see her!!

-it was really nice out!!

-went to my school to get a document for my medical withdrawal, ended up leaving with some free oranges AND i got a free lunch because there was a special event happening!!!

-i got an idea for a zine on the way home, and so i asked my dad where my old sketchbooks are, and he said they were probably at my grandma’s, so we went after dinner!! i took some scans of my old art, got what i needed and some extra stuff for fun!!

-my grandma and her dog max get a special mention because i love them and they’re part of the reason im in a good mood today

-my grandma gave me a raspberry ginger ale

-my dad bought me mint chocolate chip ice cream!!!!! i didnt tell him to buy it for me or anything, he had stopped to pick up some milk and toilet paper at the store and when he came back he was like “oh i got u some mint chocolate chip ice cream” and it was so nice of him because i’ve been having a hard time eating lately, especially with finding things i actually want to eat, so i was happy

-i replied something really nice to a tweet my sister made and someone said something nice to me because of it!!!