#All I can say that she's going to be a Familial F/O. That right there should be a H U G E hint. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myspacebrat · 2 years

Text

Destructive solution

Steddie x virgin fem!reader

summary: after becoming roommates with your high school crush and finally getting out of your crazy strict parents house, you get a little too close to him and his best friend (your coworker) —but they’re straight, right?

warning: SMUT 18+ MDNI, female masturbation, mmf threesome, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering (m & f receiving), unprotected p in v sex, unprotected p in a sex, dom & sub dynamics, they’re all love sick for each other, controlling parents, one little suicide joke, reader has no game but she’s a pervy virgin, she’s also clueless about sexuality but does admit to having bi thots

A/N: This took way too long, I wrote a whole other story just to hate it and delete it all, Im happy I did because I like this plot way more. Please let me know what you think. I also did way too much “bisexual threesome porn” searches for “research purposes” cough cough for this lmao

It was your second week of working at family video. Instantly falling into a routine of stocking returned tapes back on the shelves and cleaning down surfaces and windows. It wasn’t your first choice of work but with your situation, you would take anything you could get. You’ve been saving up money since summer to finally move out of your parents house, they’ve treated you like a child for far too long and now that you’ve decided to take a gap year and not pursue college like they had hoped you would, they are even worst. If they’re not ramming information about different colleges and courses you should be taking down your throat, they’re criticizing your music taste, your friends and the clothes you wear. Nothing is ever good enough which is why you need this job, so you can find an apartment and break free from your parents metaphorical shackles they’ve placed on you since birth.

The one good thing about your job is your co-workers, Robin and Steve. You usually work with one or the other but the days you get to work with both are always hysterical. Robin is the best always willing to go the extra mile to be sure you know exactly what you’re doing, Steve is sweet and a little bit of a flirt but you know his reputation and well it’s probably just second nature to him at this point, you don’t overthink it since he tends to flirt with the customers too. But god is he gorgeous, you totally get lost in his eyes when he’s talking to you. Not having much experience with boys is the reason you are terrible at flirting back, the most experience you have is making out with Christopher Malone at church camp when you were 15, he might have also cupped your left boob but still, it’s not much to go off of and putting yourself out there to the male species seems a whole lot harder then just being alone.

It’s a lovely Monday morning when you show up to family video. You work one on one with Steve today which always gives you butterflies, even going as far as stuttering like a lame-o when he talks to you, he was always asking personal questions or for your opinions on things and it would always take you by surprise, thus the stuttering

Steve went to Hawkins high with you, both of you sharing a math class where you said all but five words to each other—but working closely side by side was so different. Using a lot of free time to have conversations, and by conversations you mean him talking while you twirl your finger in your hair as you stare into his eyes and at his lips, pretending like you’re paying attention.

“Hello, y/n” his hand waving in front of your face making you snap out of whatever daydream you were having

“Oh, sorry! I-I was thinking about-“ you stahl as you try to make up something on the spot

“About what?” He says as he lifts his eyebrows and puts his hands on his hips

“I was trying to remember if I turned my curling iron off” you spit out

“Mmm” is all he says as he nods his head, giving you a knowing look, almost like he could read your mind. God, you’re so thankful he can’t do that

“So what is it you were saying, sorry” you say as your cheeks turn pink with embarrassment

“I was saying my buddy Eddie is actually looking for a roommate, he just moved into an apartment and I guess his job cut some hours so he’s kinda desperate to find someone, and I remember you telling Robin you were trying to get out of your folks house, so I figured I’d let you know”

“Eddie as in Eddie Munson?” You say as your eyes widen

“Yup that’s him” Steve says as he rubs the back of his neck

“U-um yeah, okay, can I get his number from you?” Your cheeks now a dark crimson red

You had the biggest crush on Eddie Munson in high school, sure he was “the freak” or “the bad boy” but something about him always enticed you, you would look for him in the halls, cafeteria and assemblies. You locked eyes with him on more than one occasion and every time, you felt your heart practically stop, you even contemplated buying weed just for a chance to talk to him, but you chickened out at the last minute

You weren’t sure if living with your high school crush was a good idea but you were also desperate, and maybe this could be your chance to finally get to know Eddie, if not intimately then maybe just as friends

“Yeah, I’ll write it down and give it to you at the end of our shift, just remind me” he says as he gives you a smile

The day drags on and finally at 4:30pm you’re clocking out and gathering your things to head out, as you walk up to Steve to bid him a “bye, enjoy the rest of your day” as you usually do, he turns around from the counter to slip you the number he promised you earlier, as you go to grab it your finger tips touch and you can’t help but get shy, as you look up at him and then look down at your shoes with an embarrassingly big smile on your face.

“T-thanks for this, really it means a lot” you say as you wave the number in your hand

“Yeah no problem, just give him a call and tell him I sent you” he says with a wink that makes your face heat up

“Thank you again, have a good day” you say as you rush out of there, kicking yourself for being so awkward

Once you get home, you head for the kitchen to use the house phone. Your parents never even allowed you your own private phone for your room, and luckily they weren’t home to hear your conversation, they’d lose their minds if they knew you could possibly be moving in with a boy, but for now what they don’t know won’t hurt em’

As you dial the number with shaky hands and a rapidly beating heart, you give your self a tiny pep talk “be cool” “just relax and be cool” as you inhale and exhale a deep breath. The line rings exactly three times before you hear a groggy voice on the other end

“Hello?” -—Wow his voice is so sexy— “no, nope get it together, remember, be cool” you think to yourself

“Helloooo?” Eddie says breaking you out of your thoughts

“Oh, sorry yes um- this is y/n, I work with Steve and he gave me your number because I’m looking to move out and he said you’re looking for a roommate?” You have never wanted to go lay in oncoming traffic so bad

“Mm, Steve gave you my number?” You can hear the smirk on his lips

“Yeah, I’m sorry is that not okay?” — god you wish you could just disappear in this moment

“No, no it’s okay! So when do you wanna come over? I can show you the place and we can go over rent and whatnot” his tone of voice almost sounds eager, but Steve did say he was desperate to find someone

“I can head over in a couple hours, if that’s okay?” You timidly ask

“Cool, cool that works”

After he gives you the address and you hang up, you rush to your room to get ready, you are not going to this meeting in your work uniform

So you freshen up a bit and change into something more you

Deciding on a rainbow band cropped muscle shirt — the shirt your parents always gave you shit for, because one it was “too short” and two “it was the devils music”

You paired it with some black high waisted shorts and a black belt, and then shoved on your white Reeboks, spraying some perfume before you rush out to your little blue ford pinto, the one nice thing your parents did for you—buying it for you your senior year just to get to and from school

The apartment was about a 12 minute drive. You pull up to a brick complex building with a little stoop, it looked fancier then you were expecting, two big pots with beautiful purple flowers on either side of the entrance door— before you are able to walk in you have to be buzzed in by the occupant, so you press the button by B13 and instantly hear Eddie’s voice through the contraption

“Come on up” he says before you’re even able to speak, you hear the door click and you open it— immediately being welcomed by a staircase, you walk up to apt B13, but before you lift your hand to knock you take some deep breaths, Readying yourself for this interaction with a boy you were love sick for almost all of high school

By the first knock, the door swings open and your met by Eddie, and holy hell did he still look as beautiful as he did then, maybe even more so, his hair was a little longer and by what you could tell under the sleeves of his Iron Maiden shirt he definitely filled out more, a little more muscular and maybe even a little taller whatever it was, was turning you into an idiot because you couldn’t stop your eyes from roaming all over his body, his signature black jeans with the rips in the knees and woah is that a bulge? “Okay—okay stop it right now!” You think to yourself, once you look up into Eddies eyes you realize he’s doing the same, ogling your legs and exposed thighs and sliver of skin between your shorts and shirt.

That somehow gave you the confidence to speak first— “hi, I’m y/n” you say as you hold out your hand for him to shake

“I know, we went to school together, right?” He says as he sticks his hand out to meet yours

“Yeah we did, we did— didn’t think you’d remember me” you say still shaking his hand

“I always remember a pretty face” he says back and your panties instantly grow a wet spot— because holy shit, did he just call me pretty?

You want to say something back and be flirty but all you can give him is a little giggle as both of your hands separate from that excessively long hand shake

“Come on in” he finally says as he gestures you in first

You giggle again as you say “thank you”

As you walk inside your eyes scan the place, it was really nice and you could totally see yourself living here, way nicer than anything you could get alone. There’s a few horror movie and band posters hung up around the living room— some fangoria and heavy metal magazines placed on the coffee table, a nice grey couch and a tv setup in front, even a record player with a crate full of vinyls. As you’re busy eyeing the place Eddie is busy eyeing you—looking a little too long at your back side than would be considered appropriate

As you turn around you catch him, eyes still trained on your ass, your cheeks flush and your heart starts beating a mile a minute again, but you give him a smile as you tell him how nice the place is

“Do you want the tour?” He asks, as his eyes are now eyeing your muscle tank

“Yes, please” you say with too much excitement as you bounce from the heels to the balls of your feet making your boobs bounce, which did not go unnoticed by Eddie

But before he began the tour, eyes still trained to your shirt—he points to it

“I like your shirt—I uh, didn’t know you listened to that kind of music” he says as he looks back up into your eyes

Eddie’s nervousness was giving you some kind of boost of confidence because before you could rethink your next words, they’re tumbling out

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Eddie” you say with a smirk as you turn around signaling to him that you’re ready for the tour

As he shows you around, you both can’t help but sneak peaks of each others bodies, you almost couldn’t concentrate on anything else—until he showed you the vacant room, it was a very decent size and could very well fit all of your belongings and then some

“It’s perfect” you say beaming up at him

“Yeah, this place has pretty big rooms, huh?” He says back as he smiles down at you

“So do you wanna go over the bills and stuff now?”

You look back at him with the most beautiful smile he thinks he’s ever seen

“So does that mean I’m moving in?” You squeak out with pure excitement

“Yeah, it does—by the way, when’s the soonest you can start moving your stuff in? You know for rent purposes, the mechanic shop I work at thought it’d be a good idea to hire a couple more people so they cut my hours back” he says with a glum look you wish you could kiss right off

“Oh, well I can start moving little things in by tomorrow, but I need to find someone to help with the bigger things like my bed and dresser”

“Me and Steve could help—if you wanted” he spits out a little faster then he anticipated

“Oh my god, I would be indebted to you both forever, if you did” you say with your best puppy dog eyes

“Yeah I can think of some ways you can cash in that debt” he says with a smirk that makes a chill run down your spine and a place between your thighs throb—you swallow before you smile back at him

“Let’s go sit so we can talk” he says as he does the same “after you” gesture he did when you first walked in

After you both talk about the expenses you’d be splitting and some rules he has which consisted of

Food—you can have whatever of his you want just make sure to ask first and you agreed, that he could do the same. No smoking weed on the balcony, the neighbors like to complain about the smell—but you assured him you don’t smoke, so that doesn’t really apply to you. Last one always let him know when you’re going to have company over, after agreeing and shaking hands he walks you out and before you go to leave he gives you a hug and whispers close to your ear

“I’ll see you tomorrow” goosebumps instantly rising from your skin, you nod and give him a smile before you walk off to your car

As you make your way back home, you try to go over what the hell just happened. You haven’t felt this giddy in your life, you’re about to move in with Eddie fucking Munson, you weren’t sure if you wanted to pull over to do a happy dance or pull over to puke from the nerves that have just swarmed through your stomach at the thought of seeing him everyday, sharing a bathroom with him, holy shit— sleeping in the next room over from him, oh my god you didn’t think about all of this before, what if he sees all your flaws and gets disgusted by you— okay, stop no overthinking, this is your chance to finally be your own person, live your life for yourself and maybe Eddies the perfect person to show you how to let loose.

After Eddie and Steve helped you move your heavier items in—one of your first debts was treating them to burgers and fries for dinner. After grabbing everything from your parents house you left your new number for them to be able to contact you. Moving out the week they were on a work trip, not wanting the confrontation—but you were an adult and you are allowed to move out without permission, you knew once they found out they’d completely cut off contact with you, but you still held out hope that your parents could be decent humans, someday.

But now that you’re settled in, Eddie mentioned a tradition him and Steve have every Saturday, horror movie night. Being around both of the guys you get butterflies for might be a little overwhelming, but you’ve grown to love their company so it should be a good night.

Since it’s your first, you’ve been put in charge of picking the movies—settling on the serpent and the rainbow and fright night. You’ve decided on a whim that you’re gunna look good tonight, maybe that was a terrible idea but you wanted to be desirable, you want to feel sexy and for them to see you as such, so there’s not harm in wearing some cute little pajamas—enfaces on the little

As soon as you got home from your shift you cleaned up a little bit and then hopped in the shower to clean the long day off, once out you used some sweet smelling body lotion and spritzed some perfume on your neck and wrists—finally changing into an off white silk two piece accustomed with some ruffles on the end of the short shorts, showing off the underside of your butt—the top was very cropped and you’ve decided to go without a bra, it just looked better that way, you paired the whole ensemble with white knee high socks. After brushing and drying your hair, you give yourself a once over in the full length mirror that is hanging behind your door, you felt sexy—for the first time in your life, you could kiss your best friend Rachel for getting this pajama set for you on your birthday. The confident thoughts that entered your head left as quickly as they came, now you’re questioning how this makes you look—“am I going to look desperate” “are they going to know I’m dressing up for them?” Oh god I hope not

Before you could overthink any further, there’s a knock at your door—you were so focused you almost jumped out of your skin

“Y-yeah?” You ask trying to catch your breath

“Can you come set up the movie while I get the snacks ready?” Eddie asks from the other side of the door

“Yeah, of course! I’ll be right out”

It’s now or never, either you stop being a pussy and get some confidence or you’ll be stuck as the little virgin forever— so you take a deep breath and walk out into the living room to set up fright night first. Steve called 30 minutes ago to say he’d be on his way soon, so he should be here any minute. As you’re fiddling with the remote and pausing it on the fbi warning— Eddie walks out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn in hand—

“Hey, hope you like butte-“ “woah” he said almost dropping the bowl of popcorn as his eyes descend along your figure in the little pajama set

“You um, you look nice” he says as he looks down, setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table

“Thanks” you say with a shy smile— can’t tell if that’s a good reaction or not, but you’ll take it

“I uh, I’m gunna go use the bathroom, can you buzz Steve in when he comes?” He says as he rushes off

“Sure” was all you were able to get out before he disappeared down the hallway

About 5 minutes go by and you hear the buzzer go off— it’s Steve, you answer and buzz him through, you open the door and wait for him to come up—but as you wait you get preoccupied with cleaning off the dining table

You hear the door shut behind you, signaling that Steve is now inside, as you turn to look at him, he’s giving you the same look Eddie did earlier before he headed off to the bathroom

“Hey” you say with a little wave

He walks towards you with a 12 pack of beer in his hand as he looks you up and down, making a chill run through your body

“Well hello” he says as he walks up standing right in front of you “don’t you look nice tonight”

“Oh, um thanks” you say as you take the 12 pack from him

“I’ll put these in the fridge” you say heading into the kitchen “Eddie’s in the bathroom—just make yourself comfy”

After pulling out three beers for you and the guys— you put the pack in the fridge and head back to the living room— you see Steve and Eddie immediately stop their conversation once you’ve gotten within ear shot of them, they’re both ogling you as you walk to sit in between them on the sofa— okay these pajamas were definitely working

Once fright night starts playing and you are all sipping on your beer and passing popcorn back and forth— Eddie pauses it to take a smoke break, you pass but they still invite you to hang out in his room, while they partake

You sit up against Eddie’s wooden headboard while Steve and Eddie sit at the end of the bed facing you—passing the joint back and forth to each other while you all get lost in conversation

“So y/n” Steve says as the smoke bellows out of his mouth, looking at your thighs and then back to your eyes “I like these little pjs, do you normally wear stuff like that to bed?” — you feel your cheeks heat at the question, embarrassment washing over you

“Um, no actually I usually just wear big shirts to bed, but these are the only matching pajamas I have, so I decided to wear them tonight for the special occasion” you say shyly

“Yeah? I like ‘em, right Ed, we like ‘em?” He says looking at Eddie, making him choke on some of the smoke he had just inhaled

“Mmhm, we do” he says, both boys looking at you like they were hungry and you were a four course meal

You didn’t say too much after that, now feeling way too shy to insert yourself in their conversations— you guys head back to the living room to finish the movie, resuming your positions on the couch after Steve gets up to grab three more beers for you all

Once fright night is over and all the popcorn and beers have been drunk, you decide to save serpent and the rainbow for another night

“I actually have an early shift tomorrow, so I think I’m gunna get to bed, is that okay?” You ask the boys — noticing the look of disappointment on both of their faces

“Uh, yeah yeah that’s fine” Eddie speaks up first

“Goodnight guys” you say while grabbing your throw blanket and heading to your room— “goodnight y/n” Steve says

Once you lay down and try to fall asleep, it’s almost impossible, things seemed so off tonight— almost like the boys had a secret or were in on something you had no idea about, maybe it was in your head. But you also seen the way they were looking at you — and how disappointed they looked when you told them you were going to bed, you weren’t even sure what you were asking for— there’s no way they’d both want you, so why are you fighting so hard to be wanted by both of them?

an hour passes of you tossing and turning and once you finally find a position you’re most comfortable in, you start to hear foot steps, it’s probably Eddie going to his room— Steve must’ve left.

About 10 minutes later, you’re still wide awake— you start to hear faint moans coming from Eddie’s side of the wall “oh my god, is he jacking off?” You whisper to yourself. The moans get louder and now you hear another set of moans and some slapping noises— “wait, oh my god, is that Steve?” — “holy shit, are Steve and Eddie fucking?” You couldn’t help but get up and place your ear to the wall

You start to feel a tinge of jealousy in the pit of your stomach accompanied by arousal, wow this is turning you on, thinking of both of them together— well this is new, never thought you’d be turned on by two men you’re crushing on having sex. As the moans get louder— your hand descends into your little silk shorts and under your panties, you don’t really touch yourself—probably making yourself cum a handful of times, but woah the instant need is something you’ve never felt before— you’re so wet, you gather the slick that’s seeping out of your hole and bring it up to your clit, rubbing slow deliberate circles on it, as you begin to feel that burning sensation in the pit of your stomach— Eddie and Steve’s moans get a little louder, you hear Eddie tell Steve to keep it down, and then the slapping continues— you reach your peak as you push a pillow into your face to muffle the moans that are coming out of your mouth— holy fuck you’ve never cum so hard, once you’re finished the moaning stops and you hear some muffled talking but not enough to make out what’s being said, after a couple minutes you hear foot steps and the front door close.

As you come down from your high— you start to feel shame for listening in and touching yourself to something you shouldn’t have been listening to, but what the hell?— Steve and Eddie? So what are they like gay?— I mean surely Steve can’t be he’s a ladies man, still flirting and going on dates with the women that come into family video, but I mean Eddie— you’ve never seen him with a girl before, but you’ve seen the way he’s looked at you since the first day you came over, he’s never been subtle in his attempts at checking you out. You’re so confused.

After continuously tossing and turning last night you’ve decided it’d be best to just move on, clearly Steve and Eddie have a thing for each other and no matter how much you like them both, maybe it’s for the best to just start your dating life— you no longer live with your parents thus allowing you to finally go on dates, so why not indulge?

Luckily today you work with Robin, you wouldn’t know how to face Steve if you worked one on one with him, you already feel guilty for getting off to his and Eddie’s moans, the whole thing would just be awkward— luckily you didn’t see Eddie either before you left for work.

It’s nearing the end of your shift, you’re stocking the horror section with some returns when you hear the bell above the entrance door go off, Robins in the back so you’re in charge of greeting and helping customers

“Welcome to family video!” you say as you continue your strategic alphabetical placements, as you’re putting the last movies away, you stand up and head back to the counter— being greeted by a familiar smiling face

“Donnie Anderson?” you say with a shy smile as you look up at the tall, dark haired boy— you both went to Hawkins high together, he was the quarterback and you tutored him on multiple occasions

“Y/n?” He says as his eyes squint “Wow, how have you been?”

“I’ve been pretty good actually, how about you?”

“Yeah, same here” he says with his signature charming smile “wow you look great”

You can’t help but blush at his kind words—“thanks, so do you”—“so is there a movie I can help you find?”

“Right? Movie um, yeah I’m looking for dream a little dream and license to drive, they’re for my little sister” he says as he looks down in embarrassment

“Those are the movies with the two Corey’s, right?” You say as you raise your eyebrows

“Yup” he says as he nods his head slowly

“For your little sister, huh?” You tease

“Yeah, uh, she loves Corey Haim” he chuckles

After you ring him up and get caught up in talks about the past and future— Donnie leans over getting a little close to your personal space, working up his charm

“Hey what are you doing tomorrow?” He asks

“I have another morning shift, but after that I’m free, why? What’s up?” You say as you lean a little closer towards him

“Do you want to go out with me tomorrow?”—“maybe catch a movie?” He says with hopeful eyes

“Sure, y-yeah that sounds fun, I’d love to” you say as you hand him the bag with his movies

“Cool, can I get your number?”

You pull out a note pad and pen from the drawer and jot your number down, tearing out the page to give to him— “okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, have a goodnight y/n” he says as he walks backwards to the door, and then turns around to walk out

Oh my god, your first official date! — you can’t help but to do a little happy dance, quickly being interrupted by Robin

“That inventory took way too lon-“ she says immediately stopping as she sees your dancing form behind the counter

“We having a dance party or something?” She inquires

“No, but Im going on my first date tomorrow” you say with a giddy smile

“Really? Was I gone that long?” She says with a snort

After getting home from your shift, you pull your clothes off and put an oversized shirt on to get comfortable— you lie down in bed and start to doodle in your notebook while crazy on you by heart plays in the background— suddenly you hear a knock at your bedroom door

“Come in!” You yell over the music

“Hey uh, someone’s on the phone for you, I think he said his name was Danny”

“Danny?” You say with a questioning look “oh Donnie, okay” you roll off of your bed and head to the phone—as you talk to Donnie on the phone about your date, Eddie’s sitting at the kitchen table nursing a beer, with a sad look on his face

“Okay, sounds good! I’ll see you tomorrow” you say, hanging up the phone

“Who’s Donnie?” Eddie questions still staring at his beer

“Donnie Anderson, he was on the football team. Anyway, he came by family video today and we started talking and he asked to take me out on a date”

“A date?” Eddie says as his jaw clenches

“Yeah a date”

“Oh, that’s cool um I gotta go” Eddie says as he gets up from the table, chair scraping against the linoleum floors, he walks out the front door leaving it to slam— what just happened?

Going into work the next morning, you worked along side Steve. He was distant and barely said anything to you, other than asking about your date—Robin must of told him.

The date with Donnie went really well—but you couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie, all week he’d been hot and cold with you, one minute heavily flirting and the next almost avoiding you. Steves attitude towards you has somewhat gone back to normal, having little conversations here and there— you really couldn’t understand them, it almost seemed like they were jealous, but that can’t be it.

Finally Saturday rolls around and you wanted to invite Donnie to come hang out, maybe after you’ll let him spend the night and who knows maybe you’ll even lose your virginity to him—-But you’d have to tell Eddie since that was on his list of rules

After getting home from work you changed into a little white cami and some red and white shorts you got from summer camp years ago, they definitely made your butt look great, even if they’re way smaller than they use to be— you make your way into the living room where Eddie and Steve are sitting and talking

“Hey, um is it okay if I invite a friend over?” You say as you walk towards the couch they’re sitting on

“Uh, yeah I guess, sure” Eddie says without even looking at you

“Okay, thanks” you say as you turn towards the kitchen to call Donnie

After you hang up you go back to sit down with the guys, they’re deep in conversation about Eddie’s band. He’d stopped playing for awhile after most of the members headed off to college, he’s been looking for new musicians so he was asking Steve for advice — It was so weird, that you knew they had sex, but they were never affectionate towards each other or at least not in front of you, if you would’ve never heard them that night, you would’ve never guessed they’d have an intimate relationship— you wanted to ask questions, but it wasn’t your place and you didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable or like you were judging— you certainly had your fair share of thoughts about women

But they are your friends so maybe you’d be able to confide in them?

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt but can I ask you both a question?”

“Uh sure” Steve says as he turns his body towards you with intrigue

“It’s kind of a personal question, so don’t get weirded out that I’m asking, okay?” You say with hesitation

They both look at each other and then look back at you as they say “okay” in unison

“How did you guys lose your virginity?” You say as you put your palm under your chin

“Um, wow that is pretty personal” Steve says as Eddie laughs

You look away in embarrassment, feeling like you maybe overstepped— until Steve spoke up first

“I lost mine when I was 15, she was 17 and I had no idea what I was doing” he said “it was pretty awkward and I had really just wanted to lose it just to lose it, I never really talked to her after that, must’ve been pretty bad” he chuckles

Eddie looks at him with a knowing smirk on his face, like he wants to say something but decides not to

“And you Ed’s?” You say as you look at him

He blushes at the nickname, he loves when you call him that

“Um, I lost mine at 18, same as Steve it was awkward and I had no idea what I was doing” he says as he looks over to Steve and then you

Hmm, okay super vague but I’ll take it— you think to yourself

“What about you?” Steve says catching you off guard

“Oh um, well um” you stammered—both boys looking at you with raised eyebrows waiting to hear your answer

“Well, see that’s why I asked because I don’t exactly have a first time, and um I kind of want to and I was thinking tonight with Donnie we might you know” your sentence coming out as almost one long jumbled word

“You’re a virgin?” Eddie looks at you like you’ve just confessed to a murder

Steve looks like he’s at a loss for words— you just want to go climb in bed under your covers and never show your face again

“Yes, I’m a virgin” you say as you begin to bite your nails, not wanting to look at either of their faces

“Hey, that’s okay nothing wrong with being a virgin” Steve says

“Yeah well, I never had the opportunity I wasn’t allowed to date when I lived with my parents, it was school, tutor, work repeat”—“I wasn’t even allowed to have guy friends, how crazy is that?” You say still playing with your finger nails

“Donnie was my first date” you whisper

You finally look up at the boys faces, and distinctly see the look of pity written all over them

“It’s fine forget I asked” you say as you get up “I’m going to go get ready” you say as you sulk back to your room

Eddie and Steve were shocked—they weren’t sure what “not looking like a virgin” meant but you did not look like a virgin, you were sexy as hell, they couldn’t believe no one had ever jumped at the chance to fuck you— but they definitely didn’t want Donnie to be the first one

After you freshened up and put on a little bit of makeup— Steve had knocked on your door to tell you Donnie was here— tonight you were all going to watch serpent and the rainbow since you didn’t get to last movie night— you walk out into the living room and Steve and Eddie are talking to Donnie as they all sip on a beer, Donnie sees you and jumps up to give you a hug and kiss, you blush as he takes your hand and walks you to the couch to sit next to him, almost uncomfortably close as he sets his hand on your thigh and rubs it

You can see Eddie out of your peripheral looking at where Donnie’s hand is placed—Steve coughs and says “alright everybody ready to start the movie?” You all agree—feeling a thick tension in the air

The movie was long but by the end you stand up and tell the guys you need to use the restroom really quick—“when you come back you’ll ask donnie to stay the night” you think to yourself

When you get back you see Steve and Eddie but Donnie is gone.

“Where’s Donnie?” You ask looking around like he was going to come out of another room

“He left” Eddie said

“Left? Why would he leave?” You say with your eyebrows furrowed

“We told him to leave” Steve says as Eddie looks down at his feet

“Why would you do that?” Now you’re fuming

“Because we just didn’t think it was a good idea for him to stay” Eddie speaks up

“A good idea? What?” — “what the fuck does that mean?” You seethe

They had never heard you cuss before

“We just don’t think you should have sex with him y/n”

“You cant decide who I fuck!” — “Jesus, it’s like I’m living with my parents all over again, you guys can’t control who I see” — “I didn’t tell you two not to fuck the other night, so why do you have the right to tell me who I can be with?” You didn’t mean for that to come out so harsh, but this must of been a trigger for you, feeling like you’re being controlled, it made you wanna scream.

“What?” They say in unison as they look at each other almost like they felt guilty for something

“I don’t care what you guys do, or if you guys are gay or whatever— so don’t insert yourself in my business” you say as calmly as you can

“Gay?” They both say again at the same time

“Sweetheart, we’re not gay” Eddie says with a smirk, god he can be such an arrogant asshole

“Okay well whatever you are I don’t care, just stay out of my business” you say as you begin to walk away

“You heard us?” Steve says stopping you in your tracks

“Uh, yeah you were kind of loud and I had trouble falling asleep that night”

“See I told you to keep it down” Eddie says as he shoots Steve a look you couldn’t quite make out

“Hey, I’m not judging you guys okay?”—“I would never do that” you don’t ever want to come off as a bigoted asshole, you don’t want to be anything like your parents

“Thanks” they both say

“Can you come sit down, so we can talk?” Eddie motions with his head towards the couch

“Um, yeah sure” you say as you walk back to the couch

You sit in the open seat between them— they both turn towards you, giving each other a knowing look before their eyes find you again

“We um, yes we have sex, we’re bi”

“You guys really don’t have to explain yourselves to me” you say trying to stop Eddie from going any further

“No, no we want to, babe” Steve says—the pet name instantly making your stomach flutter

“Okay, well why?” You say as you look at both men sitting on either side of you

“We like you y/n” — “I’ve liked you for awhile” Eddie says — “since high school” he continues

“You’ve liked me since high school?” You say as your eyes widen

“Yeah, I’d always look at you and when you’d catch me I’d look away, I figured you must’ve thought I was a weirdo, so I never tried to talk to you” — “so when you called me and I found out you were, you and you were interested in moving in, I knew I was in trouble, that first meeting i couldn’t take my eyes off of you, you’ve always been beautiful” — “but holy shit” he says

“When I seen you on your first day at family video I wanted to ask you out on a date, but Robin told me to keep it professional, and then when I told Ed you had started working with us, he told me about his high school crush on you so when I found out you were looking for a room to rent and Eddie was looking for a roommate, I thought it’d be the perfect set up, even though I really wanted you for myself” he says as he looks over to Eddie—Eddie shooting him a glare back

“That night we wanted to tell you how we felt, I mean fuck you looked so good, we couldn’t help but to fuck each other while we thought about you” Steve says

“So do you guys do that often?”— “No judgement” you say as you throw up your hands in surrender

“Well we have an arrangement, where if we’re hanging out and we’re horny we just go for it” —“it’s more of like a friends with benefits type of thing” Eddie throws in

“I see” you say as you nod your head

“So what? You said you didn’t think I should have sex with Donnie, does that mean you think I should have sex with you both?” You ask purely out of curiosity

“That’s up to you, princess” Eddie says

Jesus this man and his terms of endearment

“So you both would be okay with taking my virginity?” You ask as you raise your brows

“We’d be honored to, but only if that’s what you want” Steve says

“Well if we’re all being honest here, I’ve had a crush on you Ed’s since high school, too. When you’d catch me looking back at you it was only because I was specifically looking for you. I um, I even wanted to buy weed from you as an excuse to talk to you, but I pussied out last minute. I had even wrote you a note to meet me after school, I was gunna slip it into your locker but I was too nervous, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it” you say as you reminisce with a smile

Eddie’s eyes widen at the revelation, he couldn’t believe you felt the same for him, you both could’ve been together this whole time

“And Steve I was reminded how gorgeous I always thought you were that first day and I loved how much you made me laugh, I even thought you were flirting with me but I mean I knew of your reputation and you flirt with the customers too, so I just didn’t want to overthink it, ya know?”

“Yeah, he is a big flirt, aren’t you big boy?” Eddie says with a smirk as he ruffles Steve’s hair

“Cmon man, not the hair!” Steve says smacking away Eddie’s hand

You couldn’t help but giggle at their antics

“Okay, yes I want to”

They both stop what they’re doing and look at you— “we need you to say exactly what you want, baby?” Eddie says

“I um, I-I want you both to fuck me” you stutter out

“Try again sweetheart, say it like you mean it” Eddie continues with a mischievous smirk

“I want you both to fuck me” you say with more confidence

“Good girl, see that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Steve says

“Let’s move this to the room?” Eddie asks looking back and forth from you to Steve

“Yeah let’s go” you say as you get up and hold both of your hands out towards them to take

You drag them behind you to Eddies room

“Woah someone’s eager” one of them says while they both snicker

Once you three enter Eddies bedroom they’re both on you, Eddie grabs your chin and brings your lips to his, Steve starts kissing your neck, his hand slowly moving down your back to your ass, he grabs a handful making you moan into Eddies mouth

You cannot believe this is happening

You’re about to lose your virginity to two incredibly sexy men, who else can say that?

Eddies tongue slips into your mouth deepening the kiss, while Steve sucks your neck and soothes it wish his tongue

You rake both your hands down their chests—as your hands descend along their lower stomach it stops at the huge bulge in both their pants

You cup them through their jeans, gaining a moan from both men

You break the kiss as you look up at Eddie

“What do you wanna do first, baby?” He says as he grabs both of your hips, smiling down at you

“I want you to teach me how to suck Steve’s cock” you say innocently

“Fuck” they both say in unison

“Okay, yeah I can do that” Eddie says

He grabs a pillow off of his bed

“Get on your knees” he says in a tone of voice that almost made you whimper, strong and assertive

“Yes, sir” you say almost as a joke but you could tell in Eddies face how much he liked it, eyes glazing over, now looking at you with an intense hunger, both of them were looking at you like that—it was almost overwhelming how turned on you were becoming

Eddie kneels beside you, both of you between Steve’s legs from his standing position, eyes trained on you and the metalhead. Eddie begins unbuttoning Steves jeans and pulling down his zipper, he shoves his thumbs in the waistband of Steve’s jeans and boxers and tugs them down just above his knees, his cock springs out— your jaw drops at how huge it is, he’s cut and has a pretty pink throbbing head with precum oozing from the slit, your mouth waters just looking at it. You never sucked a dick before and said you never would, but holy shit, you wanted to live with Steves cock in your mouth, it was beautiful

You and Eddie lick your lips at the same time, as you both stare at it

“Go ahead and grab it, baby” Eddie whispers to you— you grasp it at the base, your hand looks so small compared to it, which excites you even more

Eddie puts his hand over yours—“okay, now move it up and down, mmhm just like that baby, good girl” his whispers causing goosebumps to form on your skin

“Now spit on it” Eddie says

You gather all the saliva in your mouth and spit a on the head of Steve’s pink tip

“That’s it, okay now start smearing that wetness all over his cock, baby” — “yup just like that, fuck Steve she’s a quick learner” he says looking up into his best friends eyes with a smirk

“Okay now put your mouth around the tip, and suck” — “nope” you say as you shake your head

“I wanna see you first” you say as you giggle

“You wanna see me suck Stevie’s cock? what does that turn you on or something?” He says jokingly

You nod your head and bite your lip

“Dirty girl” Steve says looking down at the exchange

“I might of played with myself that night I heard you both fucking” you shyly retort

Eddie and Steves eyes widen as they look at each other — “hear that Stevie? Our girls a kinky little thing” Eddie laughs out

Our girl

“Okay baby, I’ll show you how it’s done” Eddie says pretending to crack his neck before he dives in—putting his lips over Steves tip and sucking, slowly putting more and more in his mouth until Steve is in his throat, Eddie must be very experienced because he doesn’t gag as Steve begins to fuck his mouth

You can’t help it, you have to rub your pussy while watching them, it’s way too hot not to—you slip your fingers into your waist band and start rubbing your clit, your pussy is insanely wet already, making your fingers glide over your clit so smoothly, you can’t hold the moans back

“Fuck, she’s touching herself dude” Steve says while looking down at you as he bites his lip

Eddie let’s go of Steves cock with a pop as he looks over at you—grabbing the back of your hair and crashing his lips into yours, tasting Steve on his tongue makes your panties gush even more— the whole thing is so incredibly sexy

Eddie breaks the kiss— “okay baby, it’s your turn”

You grab Steves cock from the base again, it’s now slick with Eddies spit so you give it a few strokes before you put it in your mouth and start sucking, then swirling your tongue around the tip, taking it back in your mouth moving down slowly finally hitting the back of your throat, you instantly gag on it, making your eyes water

“that’s okay princess, we’ll have that throat trained in no time” Eddie says with a smirk

“Keep going baby, your mouth feels fucking amazing” Steve says as he reaches down to grab some of your hair, reaching his other hand down to grab Eddies hair too—“fuck you both are so sexy on your knees for me” he says looking from you to Eddie

Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you start sliding your lips on the side of Steves cock, you reach out, grabbing Eddie’s hair making him bring his lips to the other side, he knows exactly what you’re trying to have him do, so he puts his lips on the other side, mimicking you and your movements, up and down

“Fuuuuuck” Steve moans out

You and Eddie start making out with Steves tip— making him whimper and groan, the hands fisted in both your hair tightening

“Okay, okay I can’t take anymore” Steve says pulling you both up by your hair

His lips smash into Eddies and they have a heated kiss before Steve pulls away and grips your hair he’s still holding, pulling you towards him and smashing his lips into yours, tongues and teeth clashing, it’s a sloppy but calculated kiss, you finally pull away—looking at Eddie

“Should we suck yours next?” You ask Eddie

“Uh-uh baby”—“I won’t last if I have both your pretty lips on my cock” Steve rolls his eyes as he laughs

“Get on the bed baby, let us take care of you” Steve says picking you up and throwing you down on the bed, as you yelp

Eddie begins pulling your shorts down, both of them looking over your body like they were about to devour you— “take her shirt off too” Steve instructs Eddie

“Cmon baby, let’s get this shirt off of you, we wanna see those pretty titties” Eddie says

“Yes sir” you say again as you raise your arms

Eddie growls as he pulls off your thick camisole, boobs springing out—thanking god you went without a bra

“Fuck, look at that” Eddie says under his breathe

“Those are the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen” Steve says with his eyes blown wide with lust

“Lay back, sweetheart” Eddie says in a sweet but assertive tone

You do as your told, laying back but using your elbows to still keep you propped up—Steve moves closer to you. Eddie grabs one knee and Steve grabs the other as the both pull them apart, exposing the big wet spot right in the middle of your light pink, lace panties—Steve and Eddies hands both touching different parts of you, Steve rubbing your thigh and Eddie playing with the little black bow on the top of your panties, sending you a smirk—Eddies fingers move down to the wet spot, rubbing his fingers over your clothed clit and then cupping your hole pussy in his hand as he grunts

“Fuck you’re so wet for us baby” he moans out

“Can’t wait to stretch that little pussy out, make it take both of us at the same time” Eddie says to Steve making your pussy throb right where his hand is placed

“I-I want that so bad” you moan out

“Not now baby, that’s for another day, we gotta get you use to one cock today”—“but soon you’ll be taking both of us in all your tight little holes, Kay?”

“Yes, sir” you say with slight disappointment, although the promise of another time instantly makes your stomach flutter

Eddie puts his thumbs in the waist band of your panties, pulling them down, you let them fall off your legs and onto the floor—Eddies instantly grabbing your knees and pulling them apart exposing your glistening cunt to both men, you slightly flinch as the cold hair hits the wetness of your pussy

“I have an idea” Eddie says — “turn around ass up, now” he demands, you immediately follow his directions getting into what you know as the doggystyle position from the details of one of your best friends many rendezvous

Once in position Eddie pushes your lower back in trying to make you arch your ass more for them, Steve lays down in between your thighs, so you’re sitting on his face, as his back is against the mattress, he licks a long strip from your aching hole to your pulsing clit—you can’t help but to moan out an “oh fuck” as he reaches your clit

Eddie chuckles as he stands between Steves spread legs and grabs both of your ass cheeks with his big palms spreading them and bringing his tongue to your tight second hole—holy shit, holy shit, you could cry from how amazing their tongues feel on you—Steve starts fucking you with his tongue, as Eddie continues licking your asshole, he begins to fuck your ass a little bit with the tip, before he moves down towards Steves, they both lick each others tongues before going back to using their tongues on you, you could cum right then and there, and you want to so bad—you begin to feel that burning sensation in the pit of your stomach, as you’re seeing stars and moaning so loud the neighbors can hear you. What tips you over the edge is Eddie slowly putting his finger inside your pussy, curling it up and hitting something inside of you that felt like heaven

“fuck daddy, I’m cumming!” You scream out

You had no idea where that came from, maybe something one of your friends told you they said to their partner and it probably stuck with you because you thought it was hot

Eddie and Steve stop their ministrations once your pussy stopped clenching around Eddies finger

“Daddy?” Eddie asks as he looks at Steve with the biggest smile

“Fuck princess, and here I thought you couldn’t get any hotter, now we find out you’re a secret little slut, too?” Eddie says teasingly

You couldn’t help but moan at his words and tone of voice—“is that what you want, baby?” Steve asks “you want to be our dirty little slut?”

“Yes, yes please” you say as the mattress muffles your words from your position

“You’re such a good girl, baby, such a good fucking girl for us” Steve says

“She’s the perfect girl for us” Eddie says back as his arm wraps around your lower stomach turning you around with a strength you’d never know he had

“Alright baby, who do you want to fuck you first?” Steve asks as he removes his pants and boxers completely, working on Eddies next—they both rid themselves of their shirts now matching your nakedness

“I don’t want to choose”—“I want you both to feel good” you whine

“Oh princess, we are gunna feel good, one of our dicks are gunna be in you while another one’s gunna be in one of our ass, how does that sound?” Eddie asks

“Oh my god, yes please that sounds so hot” you beg

“You have to pick which one of us fucks you first, remember?”—“don’t go getting all cock drunk on us now baby, we haven’t even started”

“Okay Um, I want Eddie to fuck me while you fuck him” you say to Steve

Eddie crawls toward you on the bed, spreading your legs wider for him as he gives you a deep kiss— Steve opens Eddies side drawer getting out a bottle of lube and pouring it in the palm of his hand and then stroking his cock with it, smearing it all over, he then takes the bottle of lube and pours more onto his fingers bringing them to Eddies ass and rubbing it in, inserting a finger into his tight hole and pumping in and out. Eddie moans into the kiss as he wraps his hand around his cock, bringing it closer to your pussy, rubbing it up and down your wet slit— finally Steve takes his cock and positions the head of it toward Eddies asshole, pushing in slowly, inch by inch making Eddie moan out a “fuuuck”— as Steve is sliding into him, Eddie positions his cock at your entrance. He looks down at you to gage your reaction

“Are you okay, baby?” He ask as his head barely slips through

“Mmmm, yeah, I-I’m okay”

Steve stills inside of Eddie, waiting for him to bottom out in you, not wanting to accidentally push Eddie into you with his thrusts

Eddie goes excruciatingly slow, so you have to tell him he can go a little faster—it hurts but it’s nothing you can’t handle, you’re wet enough for it to be almost painless, just feeling a little bit of pressure

“Is that okay?” Eddie asks as he’s finally bottomed out inside of you—“yeah baby, please move, don’t stop” you whine out

Eddie finally starts thrusting, fucking into you but also fucking Steve’s cock into him

You all three are a moaning mess—throwing out a stray “fuck” and “oh my god” here and there

“Please please, fuck me harder” you moan out to Eddie while his face is buried in your neck

Eddie’s thrusts get faster, making Steves do the same, now Steve is fucking Eddie into you and it feels amazing, both of their hands all over you and all over each other—Steve bends down towards you and Eddie while he’s still fucking into him, hard— Steve takes Eddies hair and yours and brings you all into a three way kiss of just tongues, all of you moaning out into each others mouths—- once Steve let’s go of you and Eddie’s hair he goes back to his position above you both, slapping Eddies ass as he fucks into him harder

Eddie’s losing his mind, yelling out so many obscenities and filthy things, into your neck

“Fuck yes, goddammit you both feel so fucking good!” He moans out

He picks his head up from your neck, looking down at you—“your pussy’s so good baby, you’re so tight and wet, fuck”—“I’m gunna cum, fuck I’m gunna cum, where do you want it?” Eddie asks you

“In my mouth daddy” you moan out

“Fuuuck”—“Steve move!” Eddie shouts, Steve pulls his cock out of him, he strokes it as he’s nearing his release, too

You fall to your knees underneath both of them as they stroke their cocks above your face, you hold your tongue out awaiting their cum

“Yes baby, open up a little wider” —-“fuck yeah, just like that” Eddie says as white hot ropes of cum squirt out onto your lips and tongue, Steve can’t hold it in any longer as he’s watching Eddie paint your tongue, his cum squirting onto your cum filled tongue, getting some on your chin

Eddie brings his thumb to your chin wiping Steve’s cum off bringing it up to your tongue, you obey by licking it off—your tongue covered in their cum as you show it off to both of them— you instantly love the taste of them in your mouth, sitting on your tongue, you love the look they give you even more—like they could ravish you again—you finally swallow, holding your tongue back out to show them what a good girl you are

“Holy shit, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen” Eddie says to Steve as he nods his head in agreement

“Get up here, babe” Steve says as he grabs your arm to help you up

“Go lay on the bed with Eds, and I’ll clean you both up” he says as he goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet towel to clean you and Eddie off with, after he’s done, he lays down on the other side of you throwing his arm over your stomach and onto Eddie’s

“We should go on a date soon” Eddie says as he lifts his head to look at you and the other man beside you

“Really?” you say with excitement

“Yeah we wanna take you out, show you off” Steve says

“So you both want to be with me?” You ask with a big smile on your face

“Of course we do, you’re our girl”

THANK YOU FOR READING

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

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crappymixtape · 7 months

Text

because of you • part three

PART I • PART II • PART IV • PART V • EPILOGUE // REQ -> @sattlersquarry ❝ an enemies to lovers fic with Steve? 💙 maybe they have to put aside their differences to fight upside down stuff and realize they actually have a lot in common 👀 • 18+ | ( 3.1k – little bit of king!steve, mostly angst with a dash of fluff, enemies to idiots in love, steve x reader )

B E C A U S E O F Y O U • P A R T T H R E E 🎶 thick skull ( re: julien baker ), paramore ft. julien baker

❝ GOOD GIRLS DON’T CRY & GOOD GIRLS DON’T LIE & GOOD GIRLS JUSTIFY BUT I DON’T ❞

“Think she’s okay?”

“Shh!”

“What? No way she can hear us back here.”

“Dustin, ‘back here’ is literally a seat behind her.”

Sat quietly at a table seat in the Winnebago, Eddie looking on worriedly across from you, you were still grappling with the fact that you were alive. That you didn’t die. That you were breathing fresh air and free from the dark and free from Him.

For now.

And as the RV bumped down the road out of Hawkins you said nothing. Felt Steve’s eyes on you constantly as he glanced at you in the rearview. Eddie’s hand still holding tight to yours after he helped you up, afraid to lose you again. Dustin and Lucas and Max all talking in not-so-hushed voices behind you about what it all meant and if El could get back in time and was this all gonna be enough?

Voice thick and choked by the sobs that had felt endless, you’d managed to tell everyone what Vecna had showed you. Told them about Hawkins, about the monsters, about your family, about them. Eddie, Robin, Nancy Steve. And no one had said anything at first. The sounds of your cries filling up the RV. Stark against the silence and heavy with the weight of your words and they knew before you’d even opened your mouth that it was going to be bad.

Of course they knew.

But now that Vecna had revealed his master plan, the efforts you were all making just felt hopeless. The munitions stuffed under the bench seats and closets and cabinets, all puny and worthless against Vecna and his army of nightmares.

A big bump in the road brought you out of your thoughts and when you glanced up your eyes met Steve’s as he snuck another look in the rear view. And instead of glaring, instead of flipping him the bird, you looked right back. Held his gaze for moment longer and he didn’t shy away until he came up on a turn-off.

“Alright, shitheads. We’re here.”

“Here?” Lucas asked, more than confused at the thick forest Steve was now driving you all through.

“Yeah, this is it.”

And as the trees slowly thinned out, thick grass and wildflower blooms took their place. Creeping out ahead of you to reveal a meadow, wide and green and lush. A haven that felt so very far away, felt safe, and as Steve parked and the engine quieted you let out the breath you’d been holding.

❝ MAYBE IF YOU JUST GOT SOME GUTS WE’D KILL ‘EM WITH A THOUSAND CUTS AND SAY WE DID IT OUT OF LOVE ❞

Everyone piled out of the RV and got after their tasks. Pretended like preparing for the end of the world was totally normal and routine. Nancy and Robin sawing off the end of a shotgun. Lucas and Erica attempting to make spears from tactical knives and broom handles. Eddie and Dustin shoving each other around in the grass with their garbage can lids full of nails at their feet and none of it instilled you with confidence, but Dustin screaming No wedgies! did manage to pull a little smile out of you.

And for a split second it felt okay.

Laughter, the sound of birds, the feeling of the wind on your bare skin and all the green around you – so unlike the cracked and bitter feeling in the Upside Down and then your smile fell.

You wished He hadn’t shown you.

Wished Vecna had just left you alone. Wished for just a moment that you hadn’t gone to Max’s trailer and put yourself in the middle of all this, but then Eddie grabbed Dustin in a big bear hug and your chest squeezed.

Your best friend.

The reason why you had gone to Max’s trailer.

The reason why you weren’t going to run.

The reason this was all worth it.

“Ah, shit.”

Sat next to you, Steve sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. The funnel in your hands slipping as you lost focus and liquid trickled down your hands and wrists.

“Hold it still,” Steve quickly tipped back his can of kerosene and set it down to grab a piece of ripped towel.

A string of curses were muttered under your breath, so much for homemade molotov cocktails.

Cheeks burning with embarrassment you went to wipe your hands on your sweater, but when you looked back up at Steve he was looking too. Eyes searching yours, unsure and tentative. Moles dotting along his cheeks and jaw like tiny constellations. Skin gold like it held summer and when you blinked away the haze of him, you realized he was reaching out to you.

“Here, get that off so it doesn’t burn,” he said a little softer. Cloth in one hand, he took yours in the other and wiped at the kerosene.

Oh, fell from your lips. Surprised. Unsure. Your skin buzzing where he touched you and you swallowed thick as you felt your pulse flutter against your neck.

“Uh–here, you can get the rest,” Steve said quickly, like he’d felt it too and hastily passed the cloth off to you, dropping your hand to wipe his on his jeans.

“Thanks,” you mumbled back.

It was quiet for a moment as he cleared his throat and picked up his can of kerosene again. You followed suit and grabbed your empty vodka bottle and funnel. Wordlessly he leaned over to hold your hand in his and once it was steady began pouring again, eyes flicking over to look at you.

“I’m an asshole,” he suddenly admitted, breaking the silence, and you had to focus really hard to not fumble the bottle again.

“I didn’t say it,” you started and he chuckled under his breath. A low, warm thing that made the air around you fizzle and crack like bonfires down at the quarry.

“Didn’t say you did,” he gently pushed back, lips still tugged up into a small, wry smile, but it faded the longer he looked at you. “Listen. I know we aren’t…well, I know I don’t have a great track record,” he said and the change in his tone surprised you. Told you he was serious and you had to look away to try to gather yourself back up again.

"No, really?" you said, all sarcasm, and he huffed another laugh.

“Hah hah,” he joked, weakly at first, and then his expression shifted more serious. “I just wanted to say that…well, that you have every right to be here it’s just–” the boy hummed around his words. Dropped his gaze down to where your hands met on the kerosene filled vodka bottle and put the can on the ground.

Talking to you like this, showing weakness and vulnerability, made him feel so exposed. Uncomfortable. Unable to find the right words and his tongue jammed into his cheek as he tried to decide just how honest he wanted to be.

With you.

“It’s just–everything about the Upside Down wants to kill you and it’s like–” he sighed heavy and carded a hand through his already messy hair. “I dunno. How many more people have to die? You know?” and then he was looking at you again. Really looking, really asking, and for a second it made you doubt everything you felt about him.

Jock. Asshole. King Steve.

No second chances, remember?

“Can I ask you something?” you heard yourself say and you could feel the muddled mixture of nerves and frustration and anticipation buzzing under your skin. Everything you’d been holding onto all this time pent up and pushing against the wall you’d built around it. Waiting waiting waiting for you to set it loose.

“Oh–sure, yeah.”

“Why are you really here?”

Steve’s eyes grew wide and he sat back on his milk crate, hands squeezing at the tops of his thighs.

“Why am I here?”

“Yeah. Do you really care about Eddie?”

Steve’s eyes darted back over to where Eddie and Dustin were hammering more nails into their garbage can lids and maybe you were impatient or maybe Steve was stalling, but you didn’t want to wait.

“Cos you didn’t care about him before.”

“B-before? I don’t–what d'you mean–”

Steve was stumbling over himself now, struggling to own the words you put on him and frustration grew warm in your chest, but you tried hard to swallow it down. Tried hard to let him prove Eddie’s theory of change.

“High school, Harrington,” you started, trying to keep your tone even and calm. “Yelled at us in the quad? Tossed people’s books in the hallway? Threw fries at us in the cafeteria.” You paused, debated whether or not you wanted to tack more on, and then you thought of Tommy and it came out all on its own, “Let your friends say really shitty things to me.”

Steve’s gaze dropped down to his feet and he didn’t say anything at first, not a word, and you kicked yourself for even bothering to think he’d be able to handle it. Of course he couldn’t.

“You know what–nevermind,” you mumbled, capping your bottle and moving to stand, but his hand grabbed yours and pulled you back down onto your milk crate.

“Wait. Please?”

And the way he was looking at you was pained, the pinch between his brows deep, and it made you pause. Was Eddie right? The way Steve cared for these kids, for your best friend, showed clearly something had shifted in him, but was it enough?

“Wait for what, Harrington? So you can show me things are different now?” your voice was softer, but hurt, “Because Eddie swears you’ve changed, but you still sound just like Tommy.”

The mention of his ex-best friend felt like getting the wind knocked out of him. He knew Tommy was wrong now. Hell, he knew it back then too. Knew how fucked up it'd been in the parking lot at the school, but he hadn’t had the guts to say anything. Couldn’t stand up to him or tell him off because he ‘had a reputation to uphold’ and what would everyone else say if he went ‘soft on a freak’?

“I–I know. I fucked up. I get it and I don’t know how I can prove it to you, but–” he started truthfully, hand still holding yours, thumb shifting softly against your palm, “–but I am. Really sorry.”

Really sorry.

Finally. After all those years. After everything he’d said and done, but sorry didn’t fix it. Or take any of it back. Was it too late?

Reluctantly you pulled your hand away from Steve’s, his fingers flexing as they fell away from yours, wanting to hold on just a little bit longer but you weren’t ready.

“You know that doesn’t fix it, right?” you said quietly, glancing up at Steve through the long sweep of your lashes and guilt settled heavy over him.

He knew it didn’t fix it. Knew all too well that words didn’t mean shit, but he would be the first to admit he was a slow learner. Crawl before you walk. Hit your head and maybe something will suddenly make sense and when it came to you? Vecna had been like a sucker punch.

You were strong-willed. Didn’t take shit lying down. Were fiercely loyal to your best friend and just wanted to try to help and it had taken Steve a minute to realize – in your eyes he was still bullshit, but he didn’t want to be. It wasn’t going to be easy, not in the least, but just like you he wanted to try.

“I know it doesn’t fix it.”

His eyes squeezed shut so he didn’t have to look at you. Tried to make it easier on himself as he pushed through the discomfort of taking responsibility for his actions. Tongue running along his bottom lip, just like it always did when his brain was working overtime, he finally looked back up at you.

“I’m not asking you for forgiveness or–or to be my friend or anything. I just want you know I really am sorry. For all of it. Okay?”

Sitting there so close to him, your hands inches away from touching, holding each other’s gaze as you listened to the words falling from his lips in sincerity – it was almost too much. The wall you’d built around yourself cracking and straining against this new feeling that had settled in your chest, but the words wouldn’t come to you as your lips parted and you tried and pull yourself together but–

“Dammit, Eddie, no wedgies!”

Dustin’s voice cut through the silence that had settled and Steve reflexively sat up. Pushed himself away from whatever it was you’d waded into together. Away from sorry and the feeling of your hands pressed together and the look you gave him through the long sweep of your lashes and the way you made his heart race. Turned away from you and played it off.

“Hey! Less dicking around, more putting shit together!” he yelled at Dustin and Eddie flipped him off without looking.

“Like you’re doing anything important, big boy!” Eddie hollered back and the way it made Steve’s cheeks grow pink made your lips twitch with a smile you had to work hard to hold back.

“Shut up,” Steve muttered at Eddie, but mostly to himself, and stood from his milk crate to put your filled vodka bottle into the box with the rest.

You watched quietly as he placed the last bottle in and folded the cardboard shut. Muscles tensing and pulling taut as he worked, moving against the fabric of his shirt and you quickly looked away for fear of being caught.

Then your eye caught his nail covered bat tipped against side of the Winnebago and the threat of the Upside Down and all its nasties wrapped around you tight like a vice.

Oh.

Right.

The end of the world.

Just a few yards away Nancy pulled the trigger on her shotgun, the sound making you flinch, and it hit you like a ton of bricks – you had absolutely no clue how to defend yourself against this. Against Him. Against an army from hell. You knew how to throw a punch and knee someone in the crotch and you’d always had an arm on you from playing volleyball, but none of that had anything to do with monsters. Or guns. Or nail covered bats.

“Uhm–” came out mumbled, more sound than word, and it pulled Steve’s attention up from the box.

“What’s that?”

“Can you–er–would you maybe show me how to swing that?” you asked and it made him turn to face you, giving you his full attention.

“What?”

Your cheeks grew hot.

“That bat,” you said shifting uncomfortably on your crate, “I don’t think–I can't shoot a gun.”

Steve’s expression softened as he remembered what it'd felt like the first time he saw a demogorgon. The first time he swung that very bat into the side of a demodog. The first time this world had been exposed to him and he knew how overwhelming and absolutely crazy it all felt.

Grabbing the bat in his hand he gave you a small smile and took the few steps back over to you.

“Sure. It’s not too hard. You know, just aim and swing.”

“Just aim and swing?” your tone was flat, all skeptics, a defensive move against his kindness and it made him chuckle.

“Well, there’s probably more to it than that, but those stupid bats are thick enough when they swarm it’d be hard for anyone to miss.”

Your eyes grew wide at the thought of swarming bats and it made him laugh again, a half-grimace pulling at his features.

“Shit, sorry. Uh–here,” readjusting his grip he bent his knees a bit and dug his heel into the ground. “Just make sure you get a wide stance, yeah? Like, hip width apart? And don’t be afraid to choke up on your hold. It’ll make your swings hit harder.”

He swung the bat and the sound it made as it cut through the air made your breath catch in your throat.

“Wanna try?” the boy held the crude weapon out to you and you swallowed thick. Stood up from your own milk crate and tentatively took it from him.

It was heavy in your hands, heavier than you thought it’d be, but smooth. You did as he said and slid your hands up a little further on the handle and tried a swing, but threw yourself off balance and stumbled forward.

“Ah, that’s okay. Here, uh–” Steve stepped in behind you and placed his hands over yours on the bat, “–try again, but follow through with your hip. Your grip’s good, just don’t throw your full weight forward.”

The warmth of his chest on your back made your cheeks burn again. Made your heart race. Hammering against your ribcage as he slowly took you through the motion again.

“Then when you get to the end of the swing, follow with your hip," his voice was much quieter over your shoulder, words falling into your ear and making you dizzy as he tried so damn hard to keep his focus. Placed a hand on your waist to guide it and toed your foot forward with his shoe as he took a step. “See?”

“Yeah,” was all you could manage, the feeling of his breath on your neck trailing goosebumps across your skin and you couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help the way the closeness of him pulled your gaze and when you looked up he was looking too.

“Does that–uh–did that make sense?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper and you nodded. A small thing that barely registered and he was so close now. Close enough his nose nearly brushed your cheek, getting closer by the second and–

“Harrington! Where are those bottles? I gotta get ‘em loaded up!” Eddie yelled from the other side of the RV and the space between you shattered. Both of you stepping away as though you’d touched a hot stove and you pressed the bat into Steve’s hands.

“Should probably get ready,” you muttered and he nodded, cleared his throat and took two big steps back to set the bat down.

“Coming!” Steve called back as he scooped up the box of molotov cocktails, bottles clinking against each other as he walked away and disappeared around the corner of the RV.

King Steve turned Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington turned something else.

Something more.

Something you thought you’d written off.

Something that held you so tightly now it made you want to run, but at the back of your mind, somewhere soft and warm, you couldn’t help wondering what might happen if you didn’t.

[ NOTE: THIS IS PART THREE OF A – POSSIBLY – FIVE PART SERIES, PART FOUR AND FIVE TO COME SOON ]

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist♥️ reblogs and comments keep me going, friends! ily! ♥️

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lisired · 6 months

Text

keep on

pairing: johnny x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, non-idol au, fwb!johnny, alcohol consumption, mentions of addiction/alcoholicism, daddy issues, mommy issues, unprotexted sex (dont b silly wrap ur willy!)

summary: All things love and commitment are feared upon by you. You keep a tight crew and let few people in, cynical of other’s intentions and leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake. If you break other people’s hearts first, they can’t break yours. And yet, it was all too easy falling for Johnny, digging yourself into a depthless hole of love. But he is no exception to your heartache games.

word count: 13.6k

a/n: this was a pretty quick write. inspired by keep on by kehlani, garden (say it like dat) by sza and off the table by ariana grande featuring the weeknd. have fun reading <3 feedback is appreciated!

Through the blurry lenses of your eyes, love was a synonym for heartbreak.

It happened everyday. People gave people their all and in return, they received nothing but brutal agony. You had seen it happen and experienced the heartache firsthand.

Like when your father left your mother. And thus, the baby they had brought into this world together. It stung like nothing else to watch what became of your mother, drowning her sorrows in liquor. She was never the same.

Perhaps she had passed her bad habits down to you. The apple never falls far from the tree, they say.

Irene’s house was your deemed safe haven for the night. It was Friday and you were having a girl’s night out, but given the gruesome work week everyone had, no one wanted to truly go out.

You strutted inside and collapsed against her island, dropping your purse on the surface. “Get me drunk,” you sighed, tired beyond imagination. Not to mention the text message creeping in your mind.

Yeri giggled and slid you a glass. She had already been drinking, you could tell. She got all bubbly when tipsy. She reached for a bottle, and said, “Irene’s getting the good shit. She’ll be right back.”

They got the bottles and poured the glasses. When they were empty, you didn’t hesitate to fill them up again. There was no doubt that the next morning would bring you a terrible hangover, though you wanted to drink like there was no tomorrow.

You wanted to forget everything. Forget men. Forget the way that they all hurt you. Fuck that, you didn’t even want to remember what hurt was or meant.

They were nothing but trouble.

As the hours ticked by, less and less of your sullenness was masked by your inebriety. It became evident that there was something plaguing your mind. You sat slumped on the couch, bitter.

Irene sat beside you when the coast was clear. The girls had either passed out or gone back home if they were sober enough. But you were seated on her sofa, reeking of depression.

“We can always talk about it, you know,” Irene said softly. She grabbed your hand and let you rest your head on her lap. “It might make you feel better to open up.”

You shook your head and quipped dryly, “And ruin your perfect girl’s night? I thought the point was to de-stress.”

Irene gave you a faint smile and patted your head gently. She was one of the few people who knew the extent of trauma you dealt with. Your every secret was kept under lock and key but she protected them with her whole heart. Irene cared for you, that was undeniable. All things considered, she was like a mother to you. But you depended on no one but yourself and you hated seeming weak. Even if you were.

Besides, there was a time and a place, and this was neither. Ranting about your daddy issues wasn’t the point of tonight. It was to clear your head. Nothing good came out of recalling the irreversible damage your father had inflicted upon your broken family.

I’m sorry. Let me make things right, the text you received read. It made you feel a fusion of emotion - anger, sadness, confusion, disgust. What he did, upping and leaving, was unforgivable. It was a sin.

He broke your family. There was nothing he could do or say to make things right, to mend the shattered pieces. If he wanted to leave then he should have stayed gone. He had no right to try to come and intrude years later. He didn’t get to pick and choose when he could be in your life.

Irene was firm when she told you, “I’m here for you whenever you need me. I know you like to think that you don’t need anyone, that opening up makes you vulnerable, but being vulnerable is okay. I’m not going to attack you for being human and having the feelings you push away.”

Right in the heart - that was where her words always hit you. Irene had a habit of always being right, even if the truth hurt. Even if you desperately wanted her to be wrong. And yet, she never was.

But your lips were sealed. It was too much. Irene could try and soothe you, but even she couldn’t always break you. She sighed, but had another solution.

Irene lifted your head off of her lap and stood, rummaging for her keys. You stared at her with confusion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to Johnny’s. No buts. If there’s anyone that can get you to open up, it’s him, and the very last thing that you need to be in this state is alone.”

Your eyes flickered with shock. It wouldn’t be the first time that a drunk you had been dropped off at his doorstep - and it more than likely wouldn’t be the last - but you always woke up penitent the next day.

Johnny didn’t deserve that. He deserved better than you.

“But…”

“Ah, ah, ah - I said no ‘but’s,” Irene wielded her dismissive weapon of a finger. Her motherly instincts were kicking in and it meant that her decision was final. “Let’s go.”

With no other option, you followed Irene to her car with a slight stumble in your walk. Given they lived in the same neighborhood, you were at Johnny’s place in a blink. For some reason, you felt nervous. That was how you always felt around Johnny, even if you knew deep down that you had nothing to worry about.

He keeps on taking me in, you thought somberly. He’s nice to me. Even when I don’t deserve it. And I don’t know why.

If you were sober, you might have felt more guilty. Scratch that, you would have felt like nothing short of a villain. And maybe you were. Maybe you were the bad guy, the wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing.

But that was because you couldn’t help but think everyone else was out to get you. Whatever much excuse you could bring yourself to give.

Irene walked you up to Johnny’s doorstep and rang the doorbell. It was late at night and Johnny liked his rest, but he was wide awake when he came to answer the door. And his entire expression changed when his eyes fell on you.

Johnny had seen you too many times too many in this state and just enough to know when you had spent the past few hours maintaining your friendship with alcohol. It was much more effort than you were putting into yours.

Irene squeaked in her soft voice, “Hi.”

He looked stone cold. It made your stomach twist, just a little. Although you knew Johnny was the warmest person there was. He stifled a sigh and said, “Come on, y/n.”

You shuffled right past him and through the doorway. By now it was routine, yet Johnny thought he would never get used to seeing you this way. He tried to help you, tried to get you to break out of your bad habits. And you were genuinely improving. For you to relapse out of the blue meant that you had been triggered.

When the coast was clear, Johnny shot Irene a glare, and snapped, “Why would you let this happen?”

Irene kept a straight face and took his harsh words in stride. If Johnny lashed out at her, she understood. It wasn’t easy dealing with you, loving you, and she could only imagine what it was like to be in love with you. “I know you’re stressed, but don’t antagonize me for her actions, Johnny. I can’t control what she does.”

“No, but you can enable her. And that’s exactly what you do,” Johnny barked.

“She��s one of my closest friends!” Irene shouted, tears brimming in her eyes. “I would never do anything to hurt her. All I want to do is help her. I’ve been trying. Trust me. I’ve been trying so hard, Johnny. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.”

Irene never cried. Much less in front of men. She was too busy being strong for everyone else to let herself be weak. She deserved to lash out, too. Being the calm friend, the responsible one, was hard. And she felt like she only got closer and closer to losing you everyday.

Johnny simmered down once he realized that she was right. All of this was unwarranted. He knew that doing this for you over and over again was only hurting the both of you, and everyone you loved, but he loved you too goddamn much to let you go.

It was frustrating. It made him angry - loving you. Being in love with you. Hearing his heart call out your name. And watching you use him just to dispose of him when you were done like he was some replaceable toy. What made him even more upset was that you were showing progress, and he thought that maybe something good could finally come out of it. Now he had to watch it all go down the drain.

Johnny rubbed his temple and sighed out, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Irene took a deep breath and exhaled. Johnny knew it wasn’t like her to lose her sense like that, but as long as you were hurting, so was she. “Just take care of her. Please. That’s all I ask.”

Johnny gave a nod of head and turned around. He was about to go inside and check up on you when he heard Irene call his name again.

“Please be patient with her. She’s trying.”

She loves you. Irene didn’t say it, but it was clear as day. Written all over her face, swimming in her dark eyes.

He nodded again, more reluctant this time, then pushed his door open and came inside the house. Glancing around, he didn’t spot you nearby. He called out your name, and when you responded, the sound of your voice led him upstairs to his bedroom.

You were now wearing one of his t-shirts, but it looked more like it was wearing you. Things had been like that since you were in high school. He towered over you with the skies above and yet he was filled of nothing but adoration. The memories of you wearing his clothes almost made him break into a smile. Almost.

Instead, Johnny sat down beside you and said, “Are you gonna tell me what happened now or in the morning?”

You frowned. People always wanted to talk, as if talking would make all your problems magically disappear. All you wanted to do was forget that they existed for as long as you could.

Without saying a word, you unlocked your phone, went to your messages, and handed it to him. Johnny gave you a confused glance, but read the text nonetheless. It was from an unsaved number, but the contents of the message gave away everything he needed to know. Clearly, it was from no one other than your father.

“Shit,” Johnny said, more to himself than anything else.

You pushed your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around your legs. “Yeah. Apparently he wants to make up for leaving his daughter and her mother when she was a toddler and driving the woman he used to love into substance abuse. Funny, right?”

Johnny sighed. No wonder you were beginning to sink back into your old ways. This was a trigger and you knew nothing else.

“How’d he even get your number?”

“My mother’s rash decisions or my cousin’s spite for me, who knows,” you shrugged, chuckling. Family reunions weren’t your favorite. At some point of becoming fed up with your family fiascos, you stopped attending. There was no way that you would see your evil cousin, your old-fashioned grandparents, aunts, and uncles, or even your mother. The only thing she and you shared was resent for your father, but you weren’t sure what she was capable of when drunk.

Johnny frowned. As much as it hurt to see you like this, he understood why you reacted the way you did. He was your best friend and your lover and knew you better than you knew yourself. He knew every bit of your trauma, down to the rawest detail - your childhood, all of the boys you once loved that weren’t him.

Part of him wished that you had given your heart to him first. He would have guarded it with a sword and fought off dragons for you. Instead, the boys you trusted handled it carelessly and shattered it into pieces. Now it was much harder to salvage what was left of it.

Johnny pulled you into his arms. He was angry. Angry at your father, angry at the world, even angry at you. But he wanted to be there for you, even if you took advantage of his kindness. When you felt his hands around you, you wept into his shoulder. He smoothed the palm of his hand against your back, and whispered soothingly into your ear, “It’s okay. Let it all out.”

You wept and wept, until you had no tears left to cry. God, you hated crying in front of other people. You hated being vulnerable, but it came naturally when you were with Johnny. Ever since you became friends in high school. And though Johnny never made a move to hurt you, he could have. That was the part you hated. Being vulnerable to someone meant trusting them not to hurt you the way everyone else had.

When you were done, you pulled away and noticed the damp patch on Johnny’s shirt. “Sorry,” you croaked.

“Shirts can dry,” he reminded, and lifted it above his head. “Let’s go to bed. You can talk to me in the morning when you’re sober.”

You nodded, then climbed into bed with him. To say that you hadn’t been in this position before would have been a lie, but you liked being so close to Johnny. He was your refuge from the world that liked to throw knives at you. And when you bled, he was always there to tend to your bloody scars. He made you feel safe, and that scared you more than anything.

Johnny kissed your forehead. “Goodnight.”

Heat flared in your cheeks. Safe didn’t even scratch the surface of how Johnny made you feel, but it would have to for now. You weren’t ready to unpack your feelings for Johnny. You weren’t ready to confront them.

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

Even in the dark, you saw Johnny smile. And beneath it he hid the storms of emotion induced by you that were killing him softly.

Between the pain of knowing Johnny was hurting because of you and the pain of your hangover, you couldn’t tell what hurt more.

It was a well-practiced routine. You woke up with a splitting headache, a bottle of water and Aspirin waiting for you on his bedside, and sometimes Johnny would be tucked into the sheets next to you. When he wasn’t, he was downstairs making breakfast.

And when you woke up, taking in your surroundings and realizing they were nothing like your bedroom, the regret settled in. You’re so fucking selfish, you chastised to yourself. Johnny was in love with you. That was positively the only reason he put up with your bullshit, but he deserved better.

And you were trying to give him better, to be the one that he needed. Given your habits of sleeping around to ignore the weight tugging at your chest when you thought of Johnny and drinking away your problems, you were trying to stop. Instead of drinking, you ranted to Irene or Johnny. Instead of finding someone to toy with for a night, you tried to be a good friend to Johnny.

It worked. Even the rest of your friends caught on to how much better and healthier you seemed. Then, your dad sent that stupid text and your whole world went crashing down. You didn’t know what to do. You were torn. Ripped and shredded to fucking pieces.

Maybe it was time Johnny accepted that he deserved someone better than you. For his own sake. You were a tainter that ruined everything you touched and rotted it to the core.

You popped the Aspirin and came downstairs. Johnny wasn’t there when you woke up, but judging from the delicious scent wafting through the air, he was downstairs cooking.

“Morning,” you whispered, sitting at the island.

Johnny shot you a glance over his shoulder and tended back to the stove. He was making pancakes. “If it isn’t Sleeping Beauty.”

You blushed and tried to hide it, asking coyly, “Momma’s recipe?”

“You know it.”

That made you crack a soft smile. He was right - you did know. Part of you envied the relationship Johnny had with his parents: strong and healthy. That would never be you. You didn’t remember the last time you spoke to your mother and your father was self-explanatory.

You shook your head, and hopefully the thought away. It was too early. Instead, you focused on Johnny. He was still half-naked, and you caught yourself gazing at the details of his bare back. Damn, did he look good.

Then, you watched him cook, subconsciously trailing off into your own head again. I don’t deserve him. He went above and beyond for you, from making you breakfast to even letting you inside in the first place. He held you and listened to your rants and tried his best to aid you, but you threw that all away. And yet, here he was.

When Johnny was finished cooking, he fixed you both plates and sat across from you. Apart from giving him your gratitude, the two of you ate in silence. After a while, he commented, “I thought you weren’t drinking anymore.”

You stared at your plate, refusing to look Johnny in his eyes. That would kill you - seeing the pain submerged in his eyes staring back in you. It was obvious that you didn’t want to have this conversation, preferring to leave words left unsaid. What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.

Maybe you already knew and you were trying your hardest to ignore it.

“Old habits die hard,” you murmured, fiddling with your knife and fork.

Your relationship with alcohol was typical. Although you weren’t addicted, it was still unhealthy. For the most part, when you drank, it was to forget about the feelings and thoughts plaguing your heart and mind. Escapism was your go-to coping mechanism. You weren’t strong enough to confront your problems head-on.

“You can’t keep doing this.” We can’t keep doing this.

“I know.”

Johnny sighed. “What’s on your mind?”

You bit your lip. Of course, Johnny could tell when there was something troubling you. There was no hiding from him. He was the only one capable of coaxing you of an answer.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shown up here unannounced expecting you to take care of me.” Just like you always do.

Johnny was quick. “It wasn’t unannounced. Irene texted me.”

“That’s not the point and you know it,” you said, finally looking up at him. The expression he sported was grim. It hurt to see the way he looked at you, but you knew that you didn’t deserve his beautiful smile.

He sighed and glanced off, almost looking offended. “Then, what is your point?”

You shook your head. You weren’t ready to have this conversation and you doubted that you ever would be. “Forget it.”

“No. Talk to me. I just hate when you freeze me out,” Johnny urged swiftly. He hated it more than anything else. All he wanted was your love, but he was quick to realize that it was hard to thaw your frozen heart out.

Eyes drifting back to your plate, you shook your head and whispered, “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Johnny softened up. For fucks sake, you were impossible, but he had too much sympathy for you. He understood why you acted the way you did, even if that didn’t ease the pain or validate your behavior. Most of all, he didn’t want you to follow your mother’s footsteps and become the person you swore you’d never be.

Last night hurt him, too. Patient was all he had ever been with you. He had been patient with you for at least ten years. He was so sick of waiting, but it was safe to say that no matter what, you would be his first and last love.

When the room got quiet, you spoke up again in a little voice, “He texted me Thursday night. I still haven’t responded. I don’t know what to do anymore, Johnny.”

“Do what you wanna do,” he told you, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s up to you. You don’t have to forgive him. You don’t even gotta respond. What he did was fucked up and he shouldn’t expect you to give in easily. But whatever you choose to do, your first priority should be letting go.”

Letting go. Easier said than done. All your life, letting go had never been your forte. Part of you was still scarred by your past lovers. Grudges ruined your life.

There were reasons why you came out this way. Of course, part of it stemmed from your childhood, though not everything and your identity was intricately layered.

In high school, you fell for Lee Jeno. He was the sweetest boy that you’d ever met - or at least you thought he was - and he almost instantly swept you off your feet. Jeno had all the girls swooning and the fact that he chose you made you feel a special type of bliss. Until you found him making out with a cheerleader in the locker room.

Then, in college, you decided to give romance a second try. It was Osaki Shotaro’s turn to break your heart. You remembered like it was yesterday and it was all so sudden. Out of the blue, Shotaro broke up with you and told you that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. He left you for another woman. You couldn’t imagine how many times he had been with her all while being with you. It made you sick to your stomach.

After that, you were scarred for life, scared shitless of love. Boys proved time and time again without fail that their only intention was to treat your fragile heart like dirt on the bottom of their shoes. They walked all over it, taking advantage of your blind love. Fed you lies and empty promises of forever.

That was why you kept your heart guarded and under lock and key. You intentionally kept your relationships short and discardable - no strings attached. You didn’t want to trust anyone else with your heart. They threw it in the middle of a busy highway and now it was in traffic.

Trust issues, they called it. Issues - that was your forte. And you had a variety. Trust issues, abandonment issues, daddy issues, commitment issues. Whatever the label slapped on them, they all controlled every moment of your life.

Johnny added, “I know that’s easier said than done, but promise me you’ll try. Will you?”

You nodded your head and fought back tears. Weak was the word you used to describe yourself in your head. It was far too easy to break you. “I’ll try, I promise. But I don’t know if I can do it.”

“I believe in you,” Johnny whispered, voice soft yet powerful. You were convinced that he had too much faith in you. Never had anyone believed in you this much. Never had anyone loved you the way that Johnny did and you didn’t know how to accept it.

Your heart was at constant war, unable to choose between two stances. Johnny wasn’t like the other men once in your life. Or maybe he was, yet hid it well. Maybe he was waiting for you to trust him to break your heart.

Both of you finished eating and changed the subject. It was a relief. Johnny hated making things awkward and you were grateful for that.

After a while, Johnny drove you back home. You hated leaving and Johnny hated watching you go, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t used to this cycle. You stood at your doorstep and said, “Thanks for breakfast.”

Johnny nodded. “Any time. When will I see you again?”

He liked seeing you. Just not after a long night of you disregarding your troubles with sex and alcohol.

“My schedule’s packed Monday through Friday, but maybe one of those nights,” you said. Often you found yourself making time for Johnny when there was none. And in return, he did the same. He showed you a good time and to your definition, that meant a night of relieving pent up stress. “If not, I’ll see you this weekend.”

“Okay,” Johnny nodded again. “Later, alligator.”

Before he could leave, you leaned on the tip of your toes and smashed your lips against his. Johnny seemed genuinely caught off-guard, but he wasted no time in kissing you back, stealing your every last breath like there was no tomorrow. You liked kissing Johnny. Apart from the warm feeling boiling in your chest whenever he pressed his lips to yours, he was just so damn good at making you feel like you were on a cloud.

You pulled back and caught your breath, smiling. “After a while, crocodile.”

Johnny grinned and walked back to his car.

You didn’t see Johnny again until the following weekend.

Not that you didn’t speak. You and Johnny were inseparable and spoke everyday if you could, via texting or phone calls when there was no chance of seeing each other in person. You told him that you needed time to yourself and he both respected and encouraged your decision.

You were busy thinking - an upside of Johnny’s influence. Most of the time you hated being in your head and avoided it at all costs. It was a dangerous place to be, but you were trying harder to not disappoint him once more.

In that time, your father sent you another message. He wanted to meet up with you and was unyielding. The ball was in your court. You could agree to hear him out or you could block his number and pretend it never happened, but it was no easy decision.

Saturday approached far too leisurely. Uneventful days of work and pondering led to the date of your friends’ betrothal party.

With a very Yuta-esque spin to it. The event was casual through and through. The dress code was loose and neither party held good relationships with their family, meaning most of the guests were close friends. It was a pool party and everyone would be in the backyard.

When you caught up to Yuta and Winwin, you didn’t hesitate to ask, “Okay, I’ll bite. Who did it? Who popped the question?”

Yuta fought a smirk and shrugged blithely. “Guess.”

“Winwin?”

Winwin shook his head. “Nope. Contrary to popular belief, Yuta’s quite the romantic. In his own way, of course. He even crouched down on one knee.”

It was somewhat believable. The Yuta from before he met Winwin wasn’t the Yuta that stood before you now. He had seen the light and became a man of all things love and cheesy.

Still, you teased, “No way. Can’t believe the main hoe of the town is settling down. What happened to being non-monogamous buddies?”

“Shit changes,” Yuta said, sighing blissfully as he wrapped an arm around Winwin. Then, he teased back, “Besides, we both know it was either me and Winwin or you and Johnny next in fate’s line.”

You blushed and spluttered, “Where’d you get that idea from?”

Both boys laughed like you had told the funniest joke. You narrowed your eyes, and Winwin answered for his future husband, “I know I’m the latest addition to the gang and all, but even I can see the sparks between you and Johnny. There’s obviously something there. I don’t know why you haven’t acted on it.”

Yuta exchanged knowing glances with you. He probably understood you the best out of everyone present. Your life’s weren’t carbon copy’s of each other, but he had lived the closest thing to your trauma. You weren’t ready. For a while, neither was he, but if he could let go and move on, maybe so you could you.

“There’s been sparks since motherfucking junior high. It’s always been a given that you two like each other and you’ll get together one day in the future. I couldn’t see it any other way,” Yuta said.

That should have made you feel happy, but all you could feel was dread and regret fused with yearning. All of your friends could see you together, but you weren’t sure if you could give him that. How selfish of you to be the one holding the two of you back.

You should have told him to move on and let you go. Instead, you avoided confrontation for as long as possible, craving every moment of his love and attention until the flame went out. You didn’t want to give him all of you yet, but you didn’t want to give him away either. Losing Johnny meant that he would never be yours. Maybe that was what it would take for you to open your eyes.

New guests caught Winwin’s eye and he tugged on his fiancé’s arm. “We’ll catch up with you later, we have to greet the other guests. Come on, Yuta.”

“You go ahead, babe. I’ll be right behind you in a minute,” Yuta dismissed. Winwin only nodded and went to greet their guests. Then, Yuta turned to you and quietly asked, “Everything okay between you and Johnny?”

“It’s your engagement party. Don’t worry about us,” you sighed, searching for the bar through the corners of your eyes.

Yuta was quick to retort, “And you’re my friends. I can worry about you whenever I want. Now, what’s up?”

You bit your lip. This wasn’t the kind of conversation you had in the middle of a betrothal party, but Yuta was adamant. You thought about the last time you had seen Johnny, how you felt when you kissed him. God, you missed the feeling of his lips on yours. Whenever Johnny was near your side you wished that you could hit pause on time. It was funny how the most beautiful moments in life were the most short-lived ones.

Your voice was small when you said, “I’m not a good person, Yuta.”

Yuta glanced at you curiously, eyes urging you on. “What you do?”

“I let Johnny down. A couple of weeks ago I told him that I’d try to break out of my habits. And I was actually doing better. I stopped resorting to drinking whenever something inconvenienced me and finding one-night stands to forget about Johnny.”

Yuta nodded along. “And then?”

“And then, my dad texted me and said he wanted to make things right between us, and I didn’t know what else to do. I got drunk last Friday night and Irene took me to Johnny’s house. I don’t remember much, but I know I winded up telling him what happened and crying on his shoulder,” you chuckled sourly. “He made me breakfast the next morning and we talked about it. And I feel bad because he doesn’t deserve none of this shit. He deserves someone better.”

He deserves someone that isn’t afraid to love him.

“Are you gonna be that person?” Yuta questioned, tone genuine.

I want to be. You exhaled. You didn’t know the answer to that.

You blinked, feeling tears threatening to fall. “I don’t know. The worst part is he has so much faith in me when I’m not even sure about myself. He should have walked away a long time ago, but he’s still here, waiting for me.”

“He’s ready when you are. But you aren’t ready yet, are you?”

Shaking your head, you frowned. You were far from.

“Be better. Do better,” Yuta said assertively. “I know that’s harder than it sounds, but you gotta try. Figure that shit out with your dad. What you choose to do is none of my business, but you have to heal and let it go so that you can be a better person for yourself and for Johnny.”

“That’s practically what Johnny said.”

“Great minds think alike,” Yuta grinned.

You snickered. “You got engaged and got all wise and shit, huh?”

“You know the tale. My dad was a drunk and treated me and my Mom like shit. It was up to me to decide if I wanted to grow into him, or if I wanted to be better,” he spoke monotonously.

But you were scared. You wanted to do things the right way, but you weren’t certain if you knew how. “What if I mess up?”

Yuta didn’t hesitate. “The point of mistakes is to learn. We all fuck up once or twice. That way, you know what not to do so you don’t fuck up the third time. It sucks, but that’s the way life works. Don’t make the same mistake thrice.”

He spoke the gospel. Where your family lacked, you were at least glad to have supportive friends. They were kind and you knew at the end of the day, they were people you could confide in. Maybe you would do it more often.

“I won’t,” you told Yuta. You sounded firm.

“Good,” he replied, and scanned the crowd for Winwin. “Now I gotta go with Winwin before he beats my ass in front of everybody. You go find Johnny, alright?”

You nodded. That you would. It had been too long since you had heard his voice and felt his touch and you were craving a taste. With that, Yuta left to join his husband-to-be and you scanned the crowd for your own lover.

In an instant your eyes landed on Johnny and you could spot him in any crowd. He was at the edge of the pool talking to Ten, who you caught casting Johnny a wink before walking away once he noticed you coming over.

When you got there, you crouched down and sat next to him. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Johnny greeted, instinctively wrapping an arm around your waist. “You look great.”

You blushed. This morning you had deliberately chosen the sexiest bikini set in your wardrobe. It raised the stakes and given how addicted Johnny was to your body, your chances at getting laid tonight. “You look the best.”

Johnny was also half-naked, obviously. And damn did he look gorgeous. You bit your lip. You were thoroughly convinced that the gods themselves had sculpted him. His body was to die for and you were offering yourself up.

Johnny joked, “I won’t argue with that.”

You snickered and nudged his side.

“How was your work week?”

Johnny groaned and you immediately knew the answer to that question. “I’m stressed and exhausted. I need an outlet for my pent up frustration.”

“Oh?” you stammered, mouth suddenly dry.

“Yeah,” Johnny said. His hand ran up and down your back and he leaned to your side, whispering, “Good thing I have you, right?”

There was a crushing weight on your chest that made it difficult to breathe. Whenever Johnny was near you, the pressure came back, and it only got more intense when he did things like that. The effect he had on you was strong and he had you tingling with lust.

“Yeah,” you murmured back, trying hard to keep your cool and avoid appearing anything other than indifferent. But he could see right through you. “Good.”

“What about you?” Johnny pressed. “How was your week?”

“I don’t wanna think about it,” you grumbled.

Johnny was so close to you that you could feel the warmth of his body radiating your skin. Given the sunny weather, you were already hot, but something about this felt internal. It was like trying to breathe on the moon. Johnny parted his lips and suggested, “Kiss me until you forget about it.”

There was no need to tell you twice. You initiated the kiss, steering his lips to yours until they met with a clash. Johnny took control, arms still wrapped around you as he took passion to another level. It wasn’t long before you were sucking on each other’s tongues. You crawled into his lap for easier access, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible.

Heat flared from your chest to Johnny’s and vice versa, spreading from bone to bone at the skin on skin contact. Whenever you made out, it was like you were floating in air or navigating through space with no gravity. His hands clung to your body and you were on a cloud, elevating and trying your hardest to refrain from grinding down on his crotch.

Johnny deepened the kiss, holding you tightly as possible and moving his mouth against yours fiercely. His heart was thundering against and threatening to leap out of the cage of his bare, burly chest. God, there was no greater pleasure than kissing you and feeling your warm body on his. But you both were putting all of your strength into resisting each other and it was too much. The feelings were overbearing.

When you both pulled away, you exhaled little breaths, hearts racing. You looked Johnny in his lustful eyes and heaved, “I like kissing you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You taste good as hell,” you flirted.

“Mm,” Johnny hummed, nodding his head. He pulled you square to his chest, face hovering hardly inches over yours. You gulped, which undoubtedly didn’t go unnoticed. “What do I taste like?”

You pressed your palms to his naked chest, purring, “Strawberry champagne.”

“Yeah, you missed the bottle popping,” he chuckled. God knows you would have loved that.

Faking a pout, you replied, “Bummer. I was too busy trying on different bikinis.”

“You wear this all for me?” Johnny flirted, ever the intuitive man. Unbeknownst to you, he had been eyeing you from the moment you stepped onto the scene. And the second he laid eyes on you in your bright red bikini, he knew that he had to have his way with you.

“Especially for you. I know blue’s your favorite color, but red suits me better.”

“You make short work of supermodels in anything you wear,” Johnny growled. He was looking at you from head to toe, as if he were going to swallow you whole.

“You’re just saying that because you wanna have sex with me.”

Johnny wasted no time in shutting you down. “I’m saying it because it’s true. Sex would be a nice bonus, though.”

You laughed.

“Come swim with me,” Johnny said, gently sitting you back on the edge of the pool before coming to his feet.

You hesitated. “Won’t Yuta be upset we ditched him at his engagement party?”

“That wasn’t a question,” Johnny added, lowering his voice. Which definitely did unspeakable things to you. “And trust me - Yuta doesn’t give a flying fuck as long as we join in when it’s time to gather around and shit.”

That was true. It didn’t mean Yuta had unsophisticated tastes, he simply just didn’t care for rules and formalities - untraditional by any means. Winwin was the opposite. Conventional to a fault, he was a man of decorum and the party was a clear mix of both of their personalities. Somehow, they both made it work.

Ignore the pace of your heartbeat, you muttered, “Okay,” and sunk into the pool.

Johnny followed suit with a tiny splash, swimming to your side. Being in the water felt good, all things considered. It was cold and gave your brain - and body - a quick refresh.

“You know, this reminds me of high school,” he started, pensive. “When Joy threw that pool party on the first night of summer break, and Jaehyun pushed you into the pool as a joke.”

The memory made you roll your eyes. In high school you were nothing if not a bunch of stupid teenagers. “He’s lucky I didn’t let myself drown and have my Mom sue him for everything he’s worth. Now that I think about it, I should have. Every penny to his name. Mommy and Daddy Jung would have killed him.”

Johnny chuckled. “Oh for sure. He would have been taking the city bus instead of high-end luxury cars and gotten a job at the nearest McDonald’s like the rest of us.”

“Damn nepo baby,” you shook your head and sighed. “Gotta love him, though.”

“To be born into wealth,” Johnny sighed dramatically.

You giggled.

Moments later, a thought passed your mind. A memory - the beautiful kind. You fought a smile and asked, “You know what else happened at that party?”

Johnny gave you a long, hard cook. It was practically inscrutable and noncommittal. If he had any idea what you were referring to, the only thing that gave it away was the slight smile on his face for a mere fraction of a second.

Of course, he knew. How could he forget? It was easily one of the best moments of his life, made even better because it was spent underneath the moonlight with you.

He shrugged, feigning oblivion. “What happened?”

“We made out for the first time,” you reminded, voice little. “We were each other’s first kiss.”

The memory was anything but vague. The both of you were a little drunk, and somehow found yourselves in each other’s embrace. And then, in each other’s mouths. For someone who had never made out with anyone before, then-Johnny kissed you like royalty. With every intention to conquer your mind, heart, and body.

In that sense, you guessed he had been successful. Johnny lived rent-free in your mind and had built a little home both there and in your heart, with enough room for the both of you. Not to mention your body. You were counting down the seconds until you could get him in the sheets right now. In your attempts to keep him out, you had simultaneously been giving him access to the most vulnerable parts of you.

To say nothing of himself. Johnny wished he could turn back time. Part of him wished that he could undo meeting you and falling in love with you, because he was beginning to lose faith in the two of you. The other part of him loved you too goddamn much to even begin to imagine a world without you in it. It wouldn’t be worth living.

“I remember,” Johnny assured, finally letting himself smile. He couldn’t control it. “Wanna know what you tasted like?”

You squinted. “What?”

“Guess.”

You rolled your eyes and deadpanned, “Your mother’s chocolate chip cookies.”

Johnny’s laugh was mocking. “You wish.”

Whining, you said, “Tell me! I don’t remember.”

He gave in - though because he wanted to and not because you told him to - and replied, “Tequila.”

“The cheap kind?”

“Nope. I’m sure Jaehyun stole that from Mommy and Daddy Jung’s liquor stash,” he quipped.

You snickered. It was a relief that he was good at directing conversation. For a moment, you thought that it was going south. God knows the past was a sensitive subject.

Although he said nothing, Johnny couldn’t help but think about it. For years, he had been in love with you. He remembered meeting you like it was yesterday - you were the new kid in school and Johnny was the one kind enough to be your friend. He showed you around, ate lunch with you, studied with you, and introduced you to his friend group. In no time, you were best friends.

You were his first kiss. Johnny knew he wanted you that night. When he pressed his lips to yours and felt his body elevating into the clouds above, he knew.

Eventually you became a series of each other’s firsts. First kisses, first times, first loves. You had been vulnerable to each other in ways that you hadn’t with anyone else.

And you, you were multifaceted. Johnny had seen the rawest sides of you and fell hard and deep in love with each one - the beautiful and the ugly. All of those things made you fall for Johnny, too, but you noticed it a little later than he did, once it was too late. Which hindered his progress.

By the time you realized you were in love with Johnny, you had already given your heart to the wrong people. That was why you couldn’t comprehend how someone would ever be able to offer you their love, and mean it. That was why you trusted no one.

Forget being your first. Johnny wanted to be your last and as the clock ticked, his chances felt slimmer and slimmer.

You stared at his lips, not even attempting to hide the direction your eyes were searching. “I want strawberry champagne.”

Johnny tilted his head. He had x-ray vision when it came down to your intentions, though this game he wouldn’t mind playing along with. “Do you?”

When you nodded, Johnny took the bait and leaned in to kiss you. It was like magic. Every time felt as surreal as the first one. You just couldn’t believe that you were blessed enough to have him at your fingertips.

Johnny was the same. I love her. It was old news to almost everyone, though the realization hit Johnny the same way it had that night when he first tasted you. When he realized that you were the one and only love of his life.

Sucking on Johnny’s tongue and moaning into his mouth, soaking in all his little sounds was all you wanted to do. Maybe this was why Yuta said you and Johnny would be next in fate’s line. It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t dreamt of having your daddy walk you down the aisle to the man of your dreams.

Though if there was anything that you had learned, it was that fate was an evil lady and she had it out for you.

Johnny soon backed off. He hadn’t had his fill, but you were driving him crazy. And as much as he wanted to be a good friend to Yuta, the urge to drag you away for a fuck was growing stronger. He warned in a low tone, “We’ll miss the rest of the party if you keep kissing me.”

“What’s so bad about that?” you purred, leaning closer to his face. You could feel each other’s breath on your skin. “We can have a party of our own.”

To your credit, you were dangerously skilled at tempting Johnny. It made him feel bad to think that you practically already were having a party of your own. Both of you were surrounded by people, but to him, it felt like there was no one else around you. The sound of your voice and laughter had been drowning out the sound of the presence of people.

With the last of his restraint and self-control, he said, “Mm, that’s tempting. But no. Be a good girl and be patient.”

Immediately, you frowned, but didn’t dare disobey. Johnny would give you what you wanted sooner or later because you knew that he wanted you, too. And though you had your flaws, you weren’t terrible enough to dip in the middle of your friend’s betrothal party.

“Fine,” you said exasperatedly, peeling yourself off of him. “But you better make it up to me later.”

Johnny gave you one last kiss to placate you a little, then whispered softly in your ear, “Don’t I always?”

That he did.

For the better half of the evening, both of you decided to interact with other people, including the ones being celebrated. Most of the time you and Johnny were incapable of resisting each other, and with the thoughts plaguing your minds, there was no way on earth that you would survive side to side without breaking your agreement.

You had a fun time, but you were more than relieved when Winwin announced that he and Yuta wanted some alone time. Everyone said their goodbyes and you raced to Johnny’s side.

“My place or yours?”

“Mine’s closer. Meet you there?” Johnny asked, though he already knew you would. You were practically careening to your car the moment he got the words out.

“Meet you there!”

Both of you arrived in turn, with you slightly ahead of him. You didn’t even wait for him to pull into the driveway before you were rummaging through your purse for the extra key Johnny had bestowed upon you long ago.

It was game over once he stepped out of his car and you were only alone for a split second before he entered, wasting no time in backing you against a wall and stealing a kiss. Johnny always kissed you like it was the last time he would ever get the chance. There was something eager in the way that his mouth moved against yours. It was heated, unchaste. He kissed you so hard that it was impossible to keep up with his pace.

“Someone’s desperate,” you teased through shallow breaths. Johnny nibbled at your ear and you sighed, pitching your head back against the plaster.

He ribbed, breath tickling your neck, “You’d oughta know a thing or two about being desperate. Seeing as you got to my house before me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Under any other circumstances, Johnny would have teased you and made you wait before he kissed you again. Though seeing as he had been waiting too goddamn long for this moment, all he could do was cave.

Goddamn, his lips were soft. In contrast to the rough manner he handled your body. Everything was escalating too quickly and you were being dug into the wall by the weight of his body. There was so much tension in the room that you could hardly even breathe through it.

Johnny nudged his knee between your thighs and stuck his hand down your bottoms, the other roaming your body. “You’re so wet for me.”

“Do something about it,” you whined.

Johnny sneered. Part of him was half-tempted to tease the living hell out of you and see how much you could take. The other was losing hold of his heavy load of patience much more quickly than he would have liked.

“Wanna fuck in the shower to wash off the chlorine? Kill two birds with one stone.”

“Just don’t let me fall.”

He smiled. “I would never.”

Before you knew it, he was lifting you up in his arms like you weighed nothing. You squealed when you felt yourself being hauled into the air, locking your legs around his waist and resting your head on his shoulder. It felt too right being in his hold. As if it was supposed to be this way.

Maybe it was.

Johnny carried you to his bedroom and you clung to his chest for dear life. While he went in the bathroom to run the shower, you began to quickly peel off your clothes. You were on the threshold of insanity, bursting at the seams with lust.

When the water was hot, Johnny stepped into the shower and you followed suit. As soon as your feet hit the non-skid shower mat Johnny shoved you against the wall, and the noise you made was eaten by the force of his lips. Your palms rose to his wet chest and his mouth fell from yours to your collarbone, soft and plush against your skin.

He simply couldn’t stay away. He spread your thighs apart and slipped one of hands back between them, this time moving them inside of you. Much to your pleasure. “Johnny,” you whimpered, breathless.

The sound of your lips parting to emit his name was like music to his ears and a melody stuck in his head. Thoughts of you underneath him, crying out his name whilst taking his size kept him up late at night, wishing he could rewind time to feel you back in his arms again. Where you belonged. It took every bit of willpower he had not to beg you to stay.

“Think you’re ready for me?” Johnny asked, leering at you with the darkest gaze that made your stomach churn.

You nodded. Johnny was big, that was undeniable, but you had taken every inch of his ungodly combination of length and girth countless times before like a champ. It was almost nothing to you.

He removed his fingers from your cunt and before you got the chance to whine from the emptiness, your lips were widening to sigh at the feeling of his bare cock brushing against your folds. Every second felt like minutes and your patience was wearing more and more thin. You needed him and you needed him right now.

Then, Johnny finally pushed inside, taking his sweet time to fill you. You swallowed him in with ease, simultaneously sucking in the deepest breath you could take. His eyes fell on your chest, water trickling down the swell of your breasts as you inhaled and exhaled.

Maybe taking him wasn’t like nothing. You felt not an ounce of pain, but the pleasure of having him fill you to the uttermost was overwhelming. The stretch meant something.

The moment the head of his girth prodded your entrance Johnny had already felt you pulsing tightly around him and you only kept clenching the deeper he pushed inside. You raced to anchor yourself, clawing at his shoulders while he pushed you firmer against the wall and he caged you between his big arms.

Johnny kissed your neck, then growled, “So tight for me.”

“All for you,” you stammered through thick breaths. It was too hot to breathe. The water burned your skins and Johnny made you erupt in flames all over.

Johnny grinned smugly.

Through hooded eyes, you soaked in the sight of water cascading down his neck - where his muscles flexed - and chest. For the better half of your life, Johnny had been a presence, but you would never get used to how gorgeous he was. His beauty was so ethereal to the point that it felt forbidden to be able to touch him like this. He was sent from the heavens above, both a blessing and a curse to you and your body.

The chains of restraint that bounded him snapped and Johnny latched his mouth to your nipple, meriting an automatic sigh of pleasure from your lips. With how close he was, you wondered if he could feel the thud of your heartbeat. It was racing inside your chest, the feelings you had for him raining hail and begging for freedom. Your heart was bursting at the seams with your love for Johnny and it pleaded desperately for you to unlock its door.

“You’re so hot,” Johnny whispered, keeping himself occupied with your body. Your brain was going into autopilot.

From Johnny’s perspective, your body was a treasure, and he knew its map by heart. All of your weaknesses were on display in his mind and he could choose whichever one he wanted to use to his advantage. He knew what felt good and what felt earth-shattering, and judging from the way you throttled his cock, this was the latter.

Neither you or Johnny talked too much during sex. It was difficult to speak when you were being fucked divested of every little thought you possessed and your mouth was too busy producing other noises.

And all Johnny hoped was that his body could say everything that words could not.

He couldn’t think of anyone else when he was with you, and when you were with someone else, you were still thinking of Johnny. Given the amount of nights you had spent searching for one-night stands you were no stranger to sex, but Johnny made it feel different. The emotions were stronger and so was the yearning. The two of you fucked each other like you had never wanted anything so badly before in your lives.

Johnny struck you somewhere deep and you rasped, “Fuck, baby.”

Fuck, he felt good. Even though you were prone to running away, there was no doubt that you would find yourself coming back for more. Johnny was your home and your heart would always drag you back to him. He owned your body. Whatever he desired to do with you - to you - you would let him. At the end of the day, you were his. Whether he knew it and you accepted it or not.

It wasn’t a choice. It was a feeling.

Looking at the dazed expression on your face gave him deja vu. The first time Johnny had sex with you, he genuinely thought that his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He was nervous, but if anything, dedicated. He vowed to himself that he would learn the ways of your body and put your pleasure before his. Which he did.

It was college, months before you met your soon-to-be ex, and you were freshmen. Giving your virginity to one another was one of the most unsurprising things that you two had ever done. At least back then, you were thick as thieves and did everything together. Who better to give it to than the one you could always bet on?

He still remembered that night like it was yesterday. All of your friends were going to a party, but you snuck inside his dorm while his roommates were away. One thing led to another and soon you were writhing beneath him, calling out his name like it was the only word you knew.

His feelings for you only heightened.

Johnny could still remember how heartbroken he was when you got with another man again - and how angry he was when he broke your heart just like the last guy. The emotions were so prominent that he could still feel them now. How long would it take you to realize that the man meant for you was already right by your side?

Even if he wasn’t the perfect match for you, Johnny knew deep down that he could love you better, because he already had without even needing to be in a relationship with you. Maybe if those boys had treated you right, then he could have came to peace with the fact that fate wasn’t on his side and you weren’t meant to be. But watching you cry after other men treated you like nothing only fed his flame.

“You close, baby?” Johnny asked, aiming to take you over the edge. His number one goal was to drive you out of your mind.

You could only nod, willing yourself not to speak. The words that would have left your mouth if you did were unimaginable.

Johnny fucked you even harder, chasing relentlessly for your orgasms. And you were just as - if not more - eager. He fought a complacent simper as he admired the way you were maneuvering your hips against his, whimpering with every touch.

The look on his face made you run your tongue over your dry lips. Barely were you resisting the urge to smash your lips against his. That look alone made you want to milk him dry of everything he was worth.

As badly as you wanted to savor every last moment, you could feel it in your bones that your orgasm was approaching. Listening to the noises resounding throughout the bathroom was what finished you - the sounds of your moans and Johnny’s hips slapping into yours with every thrust drowning out that of the shower pouring down on you both. You convulsed with release, gripping Johnny’s biceps for dear life as you met your orgasm with a high-pitched cry of his name.

Johnny wasn’t too far behind you. He couldn’t even grunt at the feeling of your nails digging into his flesh - it was outweighed by that of the pleasure of you clenching tightly around him with orgasm. It triggered his own, and he held you bruisingly tight as he spilled inside you with the lowest groan he could muster.

“You okay?” Johnny asked the moment you both were in the clear to speak.

You nodded weakly. “Perfect.”

Johnny smiled.

The two of you actually showered once you had caught your breaths, occasionally interrupting the other with a kiss. When you got out of the shower and re-dressed, Johnny pinned you to his bedroom wall and enveloped your lips in the biggest kiss yet. It was noticeably different from the other kisses that you had shared as of late. They were lustful and impatient. This was slow and steady - like he wanted nothing more than to savor the very taste of you.

He pulled away and whispered adoringly, “I love you.”

Your brain immediately went into overdrive. Given that you were childhood best friends, of course you and Johnny had said that you’d loved each other before. That was indubitable and not to be questioned. But this was different. This was in the context of a post-sex I love you.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

Johnny bristled. “I do mean it. I love you.”

Sighing, you walked off to his bed. You weren’t ready to have this conversation.

He stared at you incredulously, and reminded, “I’m not them.”

It was obvious who them was. Your past lovers. The ones that had left you so heartbroken that you could no longer let anyone inside your glass heart.

You shook your head, voice small when you replied, “I don’t know that.”

Johnny was visibly offended and upset. “How can you say that?”

“I don’t want to fight, John,” you said, exhaling loudly. This had escalated far too quickly and everything was heading in the wrong direction. For as long as you could, you wanted to steer clear of this course. But deep down, you knew that it had been inevitable.

He ignored you, walking closer to you and pestering, “I need answers. Do you really think I don’t love you?”

“Johnny…”

He didn’t relent. “Answer me.”

Frustrated, you shouted, “I don’t know what to think, Johnny! I’m scared to trust people - you know this!”

“And do you think I deserve to be punished for that?” Johnny snapped, white-hot rage seeping through and his restraints falling loose. “You and I both know I’m not just ‘people.’ We’ve known each other longer than you knew them. I’ve been here with you, for you, for a goddamn eternity. When have I ever let you down, huh? Tell me!”

His tone made you flinch and you were given whiplash. Johnny rarely got upset and never did he ever yell at your face, even if you sometimes deserved it. He was patient with you. For him to finally snap meant that you had wounded him deeply.

“I’m scared,” you croaked, teary-eyed.

“Right, you’re scared,” Johnny groused, turning around and heaving a thick breath. “Forget it.”

Pain burned through your chest in flares much like the anger spreading like wildfire throughout Johnny’s. Goddamn, this hurt. Was love supposed to be so complicated? Was love supposed to ache like this?

It hurt so good to love Johnny.

You stood up and shook your head. “No,” you told him, demanding, “Get it off your chest. Everything you want to say to me - say it right damn now!”

It wasn’t for you. No, you knew that the following words to come out of his mouth were going to scar you indefinitely. It was for Johnny. You knew that he had been holding all of this back for a long time and now this was his chance to erupt his heart volcano.

Johnny stormed right back over and said, “You want me to be honest?”

You nodded, tears rolling down your cheeks. He deserved it. You deserve it. You treat him like shit.

“Fine. I’ll be honest,” he seethed. You gulped, bracing yourself for his words to come. “You wanna know something? You’re so fucking selfish. You’ve been breaking my heart just because you’re trying not to get yours broken.”

That was true. You had been sacrificing his feelings in an effort to preserve yours and it was a futile plan - Johnny had already crawled his way inside your heart, yet you were still trying to keep him out.

“You have too much pride to show people your scars and that’s why every time I get closer, you push me away. Because all you know how to do is run like a coward. That’s what you’ve resorted to your whole life because you don’t know any better. But you can’t hide.”

You bobbed your head, willing yourself not to speak. Both of you needed this.

Johnny’s voice got lower as he said, “You think you can hide, but you can’t. You can’t fucking drink all your problems away. You can’t fuck them away, either. You can’t keep running to me and using me to dry your goddamn tears every time you realize all your problems are still there!”

“Johnny…” you called out through tears. As true as his words were, they stung. And guilt was eating at you from the inside.

“No. You fucking asked for this shit,” Johnny snapped, scowling. “I’ve been nice to you and patient with you, but all you do is take me for granted. And it hurt when you said you didn’t think I loved you, because I could have stopped putting up with your bullshit and cut you off a long time ago - but I didn’t. You know why? Because I fucking love you. And walking away would hurt as much as it does to stay.”

You told him softly, “I love you, Johnny.”

“Do you love me enough to stay?”

The room got silent. Did you? You knew that you wanted to, but damn was it hard. You were just so goddamn scared of hurt and betrayal. You had been left before and it broke you. It shredded you to the tiniest of pieces. But Johnny made you feel complete and whole again.

“Answer me. So I know if it’s time we move on,” Johnny commanded, impatient. “Am I just some booty call to you?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what the hell are you saying?”

“That I need you!” you screamed, the tension getting to your head - and your heart. It was too goddamn much. “I can’t live without you, Johnny. I can’t. I won’t. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose what we have. Losing you would be like losing the other half of me.”

Johnny got in your face again, but instead of yelling at you, he smashed his lips against yours. Just like that, you were relieved of the burden of all your fears and worries. He absorbed them and kept them somewhere safe, just like he did with all of your other secrets.

He kissed you with an emotion that was unmistakable - love. So much love. Maybe you had been blind to it before, but you could see it all clearly now.

Johnny was in love with you. And you were in love with Johnny.

“You’ll never, ever lose me,” Johnny swore in your ear once he detached himself from your mouth. He wiped at your tears with his thumb. “I promise. You’ve got me for life, alright?”

With a couple nods of your head, you crashed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you snugly, welcoming your touch. This was where you were meant to be.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized after a couple of moments. It didn’t undo the pain you had been inflicting upon him for years, but it was a starting point for something better.

Johnny held you closer and kissed your forehead, then whispered softly, “I forgive you.”

He shouldn’t have, though you were grateful that he did. If it weren’t for his tenderheartedness, you weren’t sure what you would do.

“Let me be yours,” you sang.

It was tempting. You were offering him everything he had ever wanted on a silver platter. Granted, it didn’t take much to satisfy him - all he wanted was you. But as much as he wanted you, he wanted the most authentic version of you.

“Not yet,” Johnny said. You gawked, but he finished before you could interject, “I want to be in a relationship with you, but you need to take care of yourself first. Start tackling your problems. For starters, figure out what you’re going to do about your dad. Okay?”

You exhaled a long breath, but eventually nodded. “Okay.”

Johnny fought a content smile. “I’ll support whatever decision you choose to make,” he assured, pulling you closer to his chest. Then, he glanced down and asked, “Now - are you gonna run away or are you gonna stay the night?”

“I’m going to confront my fears and stay with you,” you whispered, refusing to separate yourself from the warmth of his body. You weren’t sure how you had done it before in the past. Tonight had given you an epiphany.

“Atta girl,” Johnny praised and led you to his bed. You flopped to his side, snuggling to his chest. “I have to go to work in the morning. Promise me I’ll wake up to your pretty face for motivation.”

You giggled, your laughter ringing through his mind beautifully. “I’ll be there. I promise, baby.”

Johnny was beaming from ear to ear. God, you loved seeing him like this. Happy. And he was happy because of you.

He couldn’t wait to wake up beside you in the morning.

Given their engagement, Yuta and Winwin were to have plenty of parties and the betrothal party was only one of many. Today marked the day of the housewarming party.

Their engagement meant that their relationship had developed into something serious. With marriage rapidly approaching, they were certain that they wanted to spend every moment of their lives together. And thus, they decided to move in with each other.

Which was how their new home came to be.

Guests spread out and filled the house to its brim, most of the ones you didn’t recognize being associates of Sicheng. After a couple of hours, you got off of your feet and went to rest in the living room.

And when you saw two very familiar men approaching you, you knew that you would be doing anything but resting.

“Oh no.”

Jaehyun and Ten sang in harmony, “Oh, yes.”

Watching the two of them take seats beside you, you could only wonder what in tarnation they were up to. Jaehyun and Ten were individual wildfires all by themselves, so you weren’t sure if you were ready to face the aftermath of combining the pair. Part of you was certain something would blow up in flames.

Narrowing your eyes, you asked cautiously, “What do you two bloodthirsty leeches want?”

“Chill, babe. We just wanted to hang with our favorite friend,” Jaehyun said. Given the untamed smile on his face, you highly doubted that. Jeong Jaehyun was nothing if not sheer trouble. And his partner in crime, too.

Ten nodded his head in confirmation. “Right,” he smirked, then pointed to the cup beside you. “What’s that - Bacardi?”

“Ha, ha,” you responded, deadpan. “No, bitch. It’s water. Contrary to an oddly popular belief, I’m not an alcoholic.”

Jaehyun interjected, “Babe, I can’t tell the difference between you and an alcoholic. That’s a problem.”

“What he said. I can hear your liver screaming ‘Ten, help me. Help me. Please…’”

You snapped, “Did you guys just come over here to terrorize me or is there something meaningful you have to say?”

Jaehyun leaned and asked quietly, like he was telling you a top-notch secret, “It’s because of Johnny, right?”

You spluttered, “What?”

He smiled, adding, “Don’t worry - you can tell me. Your secret is safe with me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, enough of the bullshit. Fess up,” Ten groaned in your other ear. Meanwhile you were thinking of ways to remove yourself from the Jaehyun-Ten you were between. “Something happened between you and Johnny. Something good.”

It wasn’t a question. He was saying that something happened and he knew it - he just didn’t know what. Yet.

You bit your lip. “Why do you say that?”

“Johnny’s been doing better lately, too. He’s been smiling more and in a better mood recently,” Ten replied, a spark of something raw and tender in his voice. “I like seeing him this way. It feels like I got the old Johnny back.”

Jaehyun nodded, all of the signs of jokes and games gone from his eyes. His expression was nothing short of soulful. “Me, too. There’s clearly been a shift. And whatever happened between you two, I hope it doesn’t shift back. He’s in a good place right now and so are you.”

Johnny had been happier lately. Everywhere he went he stood like a tall beam of light, radiating energy and warmth. And you two technically weren’t even together yet.

There was no way in hell that you would mess that up again. True to your promise to Yuta, you wouldn’t make the same mistake thrice. You had learned from your wrongdoings and decided that you were going to treat Johnny’s heart the same way you wanted others to treat yours. With caution and hypervigilance.

He deserved to be loved. Every bit of him. And you loved him to pieces.

“I won’t mess it up,” you assured them, confident. You knew what you wanted. And though you were still scared to go after it, you were willing to face your fears for Johnny. “I swear.”

Ten and Jaehyun smiled contentedly and replied in sync, “Good.”

Across the house, Johnny was having a similar conversation with your friends. And you were none the wiser.

“Hey, tough guy!” Yeri called out, grabbing Johnny’s attention. If it weren’t for the fact that she had bestowed the nickname upon him ages ago and was hellbent on sticking to her guns, he would have kept walking. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “Let’s talk.”

Johnny flickered his eyes between Yeri and the woman beside her - Irene - and a terrible feeling settled in his chest. Reluctantly, he admitted lightheartedly, “I feel unsafe.”

Both women responded in unison, “Good.”

He brought his plastic cup from his lips, then asked, “What’s this about?”

“You and y/n,” Irene said, eyeing him suspiciously.

Yeri wasted no time. “Are you two dating?”

On cue, Johnny’s heart seemed to boom at the mere thought of being in a relationship with you. As much as he wanted to make you his that night and as terribly as he fought against his every irrational decision, it wasn’t convenient timing. He wanted you to heal before anything.

Johnny feigned indifference, replying honestly, “No, we’re not. Why?”

Irene sat on the couch nearby, glancing off pensively. “She’s been… better again. She told us that she wouldn’t be drinking again for a while and she’s been opening up to me more and I’m proud of her. I just thought that it might’ve had something to do with you. You’re one of the biggest influences in her life, you know?”

“Yeah.” Johnny nodded. “I know.”

“And considering you haven’t given me the side eye yet, I think you’ve been happier, too.”

Johnny chuckled.

Then, Yeri cut to the chase and warned aggressively, “Take care of her, Johnny. I trust you, but you know how she can get. And if you break her heart, so help me I will…”

Irene reached for her friend’s hand and quickly interjected, “Yeri, I think they’re gonna be okay.”

Gladly, Johnny thought so, too. Things were far from perfect, though they were still going well and he was simply content to see that you were giving the two of you a try. He was tired of giving more than he was receiving and he had faith that those days were coming to an end.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Johnny repeated, assuringly. He believed it. He believed in you and him together. “But I appreciate all of your concern.”

Arms still folded and eyes still narrowed, Yeri eased up and nodded. Content, she walked off.

Irene rose from the chair and gazed up at Johnny, whispering softly, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being patient with her,” she replied, full of gratitude. Then - in an even tinier voice - she added, “And for doing what I couldn’t have done.”

Johnny said with no hesitation, “I would do anything for her.”

“I know. You’re strong.”

“So are you.”

Irene smiled. With that, she went to go meet back up with the rest of the girls.

Over the course of the following couple of weeks, you had been putting your all into becoming a better person. You kept to your word, steering clear of alcoholic beverages - more especially in mentally trying times - and you vented to your friends whenever necessary. They didn’t mind one bit. Anything was better than your typical methods of extreme self-destruction.

The passionless hook-ups came to an end, too. Johnny and you had never been exclusive, and though you weren’t yet together, it was impossible to do as much as imagine yourself with another person. Johnny’s touch was the only one that you wanted to feel on your body. You wanted to feel the way he poured his heart out to you whenever you had sex.

You wanted love. You wanted passion and fondness and intimacy.

And Johnny delivered.

After a while, you came to a decision about your father. One day, you chose to answer. In those that followed, you stalled to the best of your ability, still indecisively wavering over the option to meet him in person.

But the conversations, both through text and over the phone, swayed you. It broke you to hear his voice and vice versa. Talking to him for the first time in decades was life-changing.

That was how you ended up outside of a restaurant, fast forward some weeks later.

Johnny helped you out of his car, walking you to the front of the building. Your fingers were interwoven, and he let you clutch his hand when you felt nervous. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

You nodded. Though you were sure, you were anxious. And you were grateful that he had so much power over you, to the point that his mere touch made you feel at ease again.

“I’m sure,” you said, clinging close to him.

“Breathe, baby,” Johnny whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your neck. “I’ll be right outside waiting for you. Okay?”

Waiting for you. What would you do without him?

Instead of replying, you whirled around and stood on your tiptoes, kissing his lips. Johnny kissed you back with fervor, holding you like you would fall if he were to let you go.

Through your heavy breaths, both nerve-induced and from the breathlessness of making out with him, you confessed gently, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Johnny replied without hesitation. It was a no-brainer. He loved you. So goddamn much. And that was exactly what you needed to hear. “Now go meet your old man.”

That was the last push you needed. You were standing on the threshold of a self-healing journey and that was what made you swing the gates open.

You approached the table your dad reserved. It must have been miles away, because when you got there, you couldn’t breathe.

Your father looked at you, face full of sincere emotion. He stared at you with so much awe, incredulous through and through. Tears threatened to fall from both of your eyes.

You croaked thickly, “Dad.”

“Princess,” he heaved back.

His arms were wide open and you raced in, desperate. The tears began to rain. You couldn’t even remember the last time that your father had held you. This is what you had been missing. During all those heartbreaking times, this is what you needed most.

Soon, he began to apologize profusely, voice bursting with shame and regret. There was absolutely no satisfactory explanation that he could offer you - you just needed to know that although he couldn’t take it back, he would do whatever it took to earn your forgiveness.

And once you reached closure, you were talking as if the past had never happened and he had always been there.

Your father looked at you and sighed - contentedly. He shook his head, all sullen when he stated, “You’re a woman now.”

You quipped, “And you’re an old man.”

Your father chuckled. He was adapting to your humor very quickly. Perhaps there was a reason why.

After a moment, he asked curiously, “That boy outside your boyfriend?”

“His name’s Johnny,” you smiled, teary-eyed, then confessed, “You should meet him some day.”

“Do you love him?”

There was not a bout of reluctance. “So much.”

“Then, I will.”

You beamed.

There was no holding you back, no reason not to say it proudly anymore. Johnny was yours and you were his. His heart would always belong to you and yours to him. That was the way it was supposed to be. Meant to be.

And some day, your Dad would be walking you down the aisle to the man of your dreams.

#johnny smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut #johnny suh x reader #nct imagines #johnny imagines #johnny suh smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios

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strawberrystepmom · 11 months

Text

pairing: werewolf!kakashi hatake x f!reader

word count: 5.2k

about: your boyfriend leaves you alone for one week every month and you can never seem to put your finger on why. convinced he’s cheating, you book a romantic getaway to pin him down and figure him out. while preparing to leave, you instead discover the hairy secret he has been keeping from you all this time.

contents: nsfw - mdni. cw knotting, cw mating, cw breeding kink. miscommunication with resolution, established relationship, piv sex, vaginal fingering, reader has breasts and is referred to as pretty and mate multiple times, reader has pubic hair, few mentions of birth control (reader is on it but method is not specified), sloppy and messy sex (saliva is mentioned but there is no specific instance of spitting)

notes: part of thot-o-ween 2023! ngl i had the most fun writing this one out of the whole group this far and i hope that it shows and you enjoy reading it! thanks for the support the last four weeks and i'm so glad we are getting into the thick of the good stuff now. ♡

“Don’t be ridiculous, he absolutely adores you.”

Despite the consistent reassurance of your best friend, you aren’t certain that your boyfriend Kakashi does adore you.

It’s not that he isn’t wonderful because he is. Supportive, serious without being a bore, and surprisingly humble - these are all things it takes no effort for you to feel and say about him. Despite this, you can’t shake the nagging distrust you’ve felt since he told you he’s going on his once a month week long business trip. Unfortunately, this time it coincides with a romantic getaway you tried to book for the two of you as a surprise. Despite days of trying to convince yourself that it’s nothing and you have nothing to worry about with his cyclical departures, you have a really bad feeling.

“I can’t explain it but my intuition is going crazy. It feels like he’s lying to me.”

Your mind has played through all of the reasonable possibilities for his departure and is now filtering through the unreasonable ones. The “he has a family he’s hiding from me” paranoia pings between your ears like a racing pinball and your friend can tell, her face set in a displeased frown. She has been placating you for the past five months, politely shoving you in the direction of speaking your mind to the man, but she knows you’re uncomfortable with the idea.

She reaches across the small table the two of you sit at, dotted with discarded napkins and cups full of rapidly melting ice, and grabs your hands between hers. You appreciate the gesture and squeeze her fingers with your thumbs, smiling softly.

“You already know my advice because I’ve given it freely. What you do next is completely up to you.”

Nodding, you know she’s right. She has told you to confront him, to snoop, to follow him and these all sound like wonderful ways to handle the issue in theory. In practice, though? That’s a different story.

Dropping her hands and picking your phone up from the table, you sigh and open the little green bubble that is the messages app. Kakashi’s thread is at the top of your list and you open it, smiling looking at his sweet wishes of a good evening with your friend.

Hope you’re having fun. See you soon. 😊

“I booked that cabin before he told me he was leaving, do you think I should still tell him about it?”

Your friend nods firmly, sticking to her earlier advice.

“Yes, you should have told him as soon as you planned the getaway but maybe he can arrange something with work if he knows. It’s still a week out.”

Sighing, you nod in agreement and tap out a message in response to your boyfriend, worrying your lower lip between your teeth.

I know this is kind of off the cuff and you already told me you’re going to be gone but I booked a cabin for all of next week for the two of us. If you can’t make it, I understand. Romantic surprises are so hard sometimes!

The message whooshes and shows as sent, the blue text bubble sitting as heavy as the anxiety in your stomach. It’s long winded and something you probably should have said in person rather than via text but considering how nauseous you already feel anticipating his answer, you think this may have been for the best. You lock your phone and place it back down, not wanting to stare at the screen any longer, and the waitress comes to drop off your check.

Just as you reach for the little black tray with your receipt, your phone pings and your eyebrows raise. You smile at the waitress as you slide your card onto the tray and send her off, picking up your phone as soon as it’s not rude to do so.

You are so thoughtful. Don’t worry about not saying something sooner, I will see what I can figure out. Thank you for doing something so sweet.

Maybe your mind really has been playing tricks on you. It’s hard to hide your grin as you pass the phone across the table and your friend smiles as she reads as well, holding her hands out and tilting her head.

“See? Good communication is key.”

You know she’s right.

Across town, though, Kakashi paces the floor of his bedroom wondering how the fuck he is going to make this work.

How he ended up landing someone like you is still beyond his rational understanding. You are too good to be true and booking a surprise romantic getaway, in any other situation, would be a gift. A luxury, even. Time spent with you, secluded, watching the autumn leaves fall? He couldn’t dream of anything more but next week simply does not work for him.

Pressing the screen of his phone wildly, he swipes through apps until he finds his moon phase tracker, popping open the calendar to see when exactly the full moon falls. He’ll get more details from you later but if you booked it from Monday to Sunday, he may be able to pull off leaving early but staying for most of the time. The full moon falls on Friday and realistically if he spent the week with you up until Thursday, he may be able to pull it off.

Sighing, he slumps down on the edge of his bed and scrubs his hand over his face. The luck he has had over the last few months hiding his secret from you has been nothing short of fortuitous and he’s glad for your trust in him even though it eats him up to lie about his whereabouts for a week every single month.

Putting you at risk is the last thing the man would ever want to do so he’s already taking a huge chance trying to make this week work knowing that his hormones are stronger in certain months rather than others. He has felt overcome by his instincts this entire month, it’s the reason he has buried himself in busy work rather than spending his free time with you, but he knows that if he hangs you out to dry this week it could result in him losing you.

That’s simply not an option he’s willing to entertain so he will figure it out despite how it makes his gut twist and his mind race.

Swiping off of the moon cycle app, he opens his messages and the cursor blinks at him tauntingly while he considers what to say.

I can come along Monday through Thursday if that’s alright with you?

Tapping the little blue arrow that sends the message off to you, he feels a weight on his shoulders that he can’t quite name. It’s sadness because he knows eventually he’ll have to tell you the truth about himself or let you go but selfishly, he wants to put it off for as long as he possibly can.

Something about you makes him believe that those old stories his dad told him growing up about their kind having fated mates may have been true. His mother was his father’s mate, she knew of his secret and kept it until the day she died, and despite this harsh world, Kakashi has always kept the smallest kindling of hope that it could be true.

Then he met you and his body all but told him it was, the ruts coming more consistently and stronger, lasting for longer than they ever have. What started as one day a month he had to hide away to keep from exposing himself became two days, and then three, and then an entire week having to seclude himself from you to keep from giving into his more base urges.

Another sigh leaves the man and he taps his feet against the floor beneath them impatiently, clutching his phone in his palm. Three pings in succession make him lift it to his face, squinting slightly thanks to the brightness of the screen, but he smiles reading your words.

Omg yay!!!

I’m glad to get you for even that long

Thank you for making it work for me

It’ll be a risk but he’s willing to take it to see your pretty smile and to spend time cozied up reading and watching your silly shows and enjoying each other.

It’ll all be worth it as long as he can keep control.

The days leading up to the trip pass uneventfully for you but Kakashi feels differently with each hour that passes, especially today.

He’s hot. Cloyingly and overwhelmingly, to the point he has to lay on his couch in nothing but boxers and an old tank top dug out of the back of his dresser drawer to try and cool down. Sweat glistens across his skin and his very bones ache, all of the blood in his body running to his cock and making it impossible for him to think.

When you arrive at his apartment to spend the night in order to make leaving in the morning simpler, you’re shocked to see him lying on the couch with one hand down his boxers halfheartedly playing with his hard cock with one arm thrown over his eyes. His cheeks are pink and he’s panting, only glancing up briefly when the door opens and shuts. He scrambles to sit up but you can tell he’s struggling, his abs tensing with every breath he takes.

“Oh babe, are you alright?”

Dropping your bags at the front door, you rush to his side and kneel on the ground next to where he is strewn across the sofa. You press the back of your hand to his clammy cheek and coo, your other hand tangling in his unruly hair and combing it away from his forehead. He doesn’t uncover his eyes but his breathing is so heavy you worry something is seriously wrong with him.

“Kakashi, what’s wrong? Are you sick? Do you need to go to urgent care?”

He shakes his head and groans, chest still heaving and you notice the tip of his cock peeking above the waistband of his boxers. It looks the same as you remember it in every way except for the color - so red, as if it’s blushing to be spotted and leaking a pool of sticky pre-cum onto the barely exposed skin his tank top isn’t covering. You know the two of you have been too busy the last several days to spend much quality time together and sex hasn’t been possible but you’ve never seen someone so horny they’re actually ill because all current signs point to that being the exact issue.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Embarrassment keeps him from opening up. Kakashi is ashamed of who he is, a beast more than a man, and he’s even more ashamed that he has no way of keeping the secret from you any longer. This rut is too strong and he needs you to leave lest his instincts take over his logic. Pulling his arm from over his eyes, he tries to sit up and you assist him to the best of your ability, his cock throbbing through the thin fabric of his boxers and catching your eye despite your attempts to focus on his handsome face. His stormcloud colored eyes have never looked more tumultuous than they do right now and you reach out to cup his face, only for him to gently grasp your wrist and pull you away.

“Don’t touch me.”

The look on your face, brows pinched and mouth agape, reminds him that he’s a monster and not a man and he should have never brought you into his life. The only thing he can do is hurt you. His grip on your wrist is gentle and he loosens it further but you capture his hand in your own, eyes brimming with tears of frustration.

“Please tell me what’s happening,” your voice cracks as you speak and you feel warm tears spill down your face, irritated by your own ability to hold it together, but your worst fears are coming true in front of you. Something is off about your boyfriend, you were right, and now he’s denying your touch when he clearly needs it. “I just want to know the truth.”

The truth would be a heavy burden for both of you and the last thing he wants to do is force you to carry it with him despite the pleading look in your eyes and your quivering bottom lip.

“What are you hiding from me?”

Your voice cracks again and his heart breaks all over, gray eyes trained on your face despite his disgust with himself. Despite the tears and the way they blur your vision, you scan his face and drink in every feature because despite how you feel right now, you love this man. You were hoping to tell him so this week, tucked away in the idyllic countryside, and now you feel the dream slipping away from you.

“Are you married? Do you have another life?”

Desperation for the truth makes your hands shake and he shakes his head, blowing a breath out of his lips. He continues to feel so hot it’s painful, like he’s burning alive, and he is resisting inhaling and choosing to breathe through his mouth instead to keep from catching your scent that is gradually replacing all of the fresh air in the apartment.

Allowing you to hold his hand, he sits forward and looks you in the eyes. If his gut feeling is real, if what he believes about you is true, then he needs to be honest. If you are his mate then you’ll understand. His voice shakes when he speaks and you scoot forward on your knees, closing the distance between your bodies as much as possible, still kneeling on the floor next to him.

“I think I should be offended that you’d even think that about me.”

Despite yourself, you laugh and he hides a smile of his own, eyes darting away from you. He pulls you up to your feet and scoots over on the couch, hissing as you occupy his space even further. You are affecting him more strongly than you ever have and his self control thins with every moment that passes.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know what else to think. The weeks away, the secrecy, all of it…my mind has filled in the blanks I don’t understand.”

Kakashi nods. He understands, he truly does, knowing that his behavior has been less than exemplary while he has tried to keep his secret from you, but he wants to right his wrong while his mind is still clear. His cock throbs angrily, still pressing against the bottom of his stomach even while he sits, and he knows it’s now or never.

“This is going to sound ridiculous but I’m not what you think I am.”

Tilting your head to the side, you look over your handsome boyfriend and wonder what he could mean. Is he lying about his job or where he’s from? He can tell you aren’t following so he looks away from you and tries again, spitting out the words he himself has tried to run from his entire life.

“I’m only half a man, the other half of me is something else entirely.”

Again, you look lost and he grasps your hands in his own hot ones and chuckles, letting his eyes shut.

“Werewolf. I’m a werewolf.”

He opens his eyes at the sound of your surprised laughter and he’s met with the smile he has found himself falling more in love with every single day, your nose scrunching the way he finds utterly adorable.

“Kakashi…” you start but he squeezes your hands and shoots you a look so earnest you feel guilty for ever questioning him. His cheeks have turned from pink to flaming red, the same color as the engorged tip that is still peeking out over the top of his boxers. Your jaw drops and he groans, eyes falling to your lips.

“What is happening right now is called a rut and unbonded men like me go through them occasionally.” You nod, understandingly. You are always unfailingly kind and patient to him, more so than he deserves for lying to you all these months. He takes your silence as permission to keep speaking and you remove your hand from his to push his sweat slicked hair off of his forehead, noticing the way his nostrils flare with your touch. “Mine have been happening more frequently than that, though, because of you.”

He expects to have lost you again and to see confusion on your face when his eyes flit up to look at you but instead he sees a sweet, almost nervous, half smile. You don’t know what he means or how you could possibly be affecting his rut but the insinuation that you have this strong of an impact on him is flattering to say the least.

Arousing too, you think while pressing your thighs together. Your focus shifts from the heat in your own core to Kakashi and you lean your head on his shoulder.

“How can I help you through this?”

Your boyfriend is far from shocked that this is your next question for him but he’s grateful, shaking his head and gazing at you nervously from the corner of his eye. You have been surprisingly okay with everything so far, or at least it seems like it, but he worries how you’ll react if he tells you everything.

“Well, ruts are usually resolved by…well, for lack of a better word, mating.” Nodding, you keep your cheek pressed to his shoulder. “It’s not just, you know, having sex like we usually do. It’s more than that.”

You shift where you sit and he watches you intently, gasping when you move to straddle him and sit on top of his thighs. His bulge presses against your core and you hum, still combing your fingers through his hair. Those instincts he was dreading continue to work at him, his mind all but overwhelmed with the sight and scent of you, and his mouth fills with saliva.

“I can handle a few days of fucking if that’s what will make you feel better,” you smile and press a kiss to his forehead, his hands finding their way to your hips and holding them tightly. His grip is harsher than he has ever touched you but it doesn’t hurt, it’s simply anchoring you in place. “But if that’s not all, I will do anything you need.”

He chuckles lowly, the sound sexy and ringing in your ears, and you instinctively grind down on his lap to relieve the tension of your own arousal. It doesn’t take much to turn you on, not when it comes to him, but the mystery of what you have to look forward to makes your head swim.

“I, uh…well, I’d need to knot you.”

Your eyebrows raise and your eyes glisten with mischief watching him search for the right thing to say.

“What does that entail?”

Again he sighs, cock throbbing painfully, and you press your lips to his forehead again. He holds you in place to keep your hips from grinding or bumping against him. His mind is growing fuzzier with each passing second and he doesn’t need the encouragement of your luscious hips to turn him into something he can’t explain away with a conversation. He’s teetering on the edge of it anyway.

“You’re familiar with my dick, of course, but when I’m rutting it’s different. It’s…” He trails off again and you reach down between your bodies, snapping the elastic waistband of his boxers. You smirk, the little temptress that you are, and he groans in defeat.

“Show me.”

Despite his brain telling him not to, he nods, happy to bend to your whims as long as you’re okay with what you see. He shifts where he sits, keeping you anchored to his lap with one hand and he uses the other to pull his boxers down around his thighs. You gasp when you notice the thickened base, larger than you’ve ever seen it and swollen.

“This is your knot?”

He nods, eyes fixed on your face as you inspect the newest part of his anatomy, to you anyway, and he’s relieved to see nothing but curiosity on your face. Your hand drifts back between your bodies and you squeeze the base of him, his knot almost too large for your hand to wrap around, and his hips buck into the touch. He pants, chest heaving with each breath, but you keep your grip intact.

“So let me make sure I have this right,” you start and he nods to indicate that he’s listening despite the overwhelming pleasure he’s feeling at your touch, lower lip tucked between his teeth. “You need to knot your mate to get through this and feel better?”

He nods again, happy that he doesn’t have to explain the gory details and that you were able to fill in the blanks on your own.

“Do you know who your mate is? Is it someone I need to go find for you?”

Shaking his head, his brows furrow.

“You are my mate. That’s the only explanation why my body is reacting like this to everything about you.”

His voice sounds strained, struggling to hold onto his humanity with each passing second. You mercifully let go of his knot, the relief on his face disappearing when you do, and you lean forward, just inches from his lips.

“Then fuck your mate and feel better, baby.”

Sealing your offer by pressing your lips against his, you’re shocked to find that they’re as hot as his hands, his body, his cheeks, but they feel like home to you and the sloppy sound of your tongues running against one another in open mouthed kisses fill your ears. His grip on your hip tightens and he does his best to remain gentle as he slides you off of his lap and places you on your back on the sofa below you. He pauses for a moment to glance over your face, to be absolutely certain that you still want this, and you smile at him.

Reaching for the button of your jeans, he helps you slide them off and tosses them across the room, your panties coming off with them and the rest of your clothes in short order. He wants to shred them, to see the pieces fall and flutter away from your beautiful body, but he holds himself back.

This is just the beginning of his rut, after all, and the two of you are bound to have a very interesting week ahead of you so he savors this moment, the first that he can be who he really is in front of someone he loves.

It’s freeing and terrifying but his cock is throbbing so painfully he can’t focus on anything else.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you, okay?”

You nod when he slots himself between your spread legs, his boxers and tank top gone. Your cunt pulses at the sight of him, walls clenching almost painfully around nothing as you look at the size of his knot and wonder how you’re meant to fit it inside of you, but he quiets your wandering mind by leaning down and pressing his chest to yours, kissing you sloppily.

“God I love you,” he mutters and you hum in agreement.

His mouth is wetter than it ever has been, a side effect of his current state, and saliva drips down both of your chins and drips into the valley between your breasts. You moan into his mouth and your hips cant and grind against his erection that slips into the cleft between your pussy lips and he feels himself slipping further and further into the basest of his needs, the warm slick seeping from your cunt a nectar he can no longer resist.

Kakashi’s fingers slide down your body, dragging through the pool of saliva between your breasts, down your torso, across your belly button, and finally down to your aching pussy. He makes himself useful quickly, one of his long digits replacing his cock and running through your soaked folds. You whine, hips bucking, and he increases the pressure of his finger as he slides it over your slippery clit.

“My pretty little mate is so eager for me, huh?”

Nodding dumbly, you spread your legs further hoping he’ll take the hint to get moving to where you need him the most. Your eyes dart from his face to where his finger slowly slides inside of you, warmth accommodating the digit with ease thanks to how soaked you are, and sweet relief washes over you. Tipping your head back, you softly moan beneath him while he works you open for him - he’ll need all the help he can get if you’re going to take his knot, and a second finger joins the first while his thumb massages your clit just the way you like.

“Oh baby, you feel so good.”

You nod and hum, hips grinding into every thrust of his fingers in and out of you, the sound of your own sloppy pussy making your breaths stutter. Who would have guessed you’d be so into finding out your boyfriend’s not so little secret?

His fingers continue to spread you open, shifting and grinding against the spot deep inside he knows drives you wild, and you know you’re about to cum for the first time tonight when his thumb grinds small circles directly into your sensitive clit. Your back arches off of the couch and you clench around his fingers, mumbling his name. His lips find yours, chests still pressed together, and you whimper into his mouth while your legs shake.

Withdrawing his fingers from inside of you, he holds them up and spreads them apart, breaking away from your lips long enough to let you look at the slick that webs between them when he does. You gasp, his fingers glistening with your arousal, and he smirks.

“Think you’re wet enough for me now. Gonna stuff you full of me, is that what you want?”

Nodding, you shiver, catching a glimpse of the hunger in his eyes. He’s the same man you love and have known for all this time but there’s a hunger you can’t wait to sate dancing in his eyes. Your cunt clenches again, finally ready for more after your orgasm, and he reaches between your bodies to position himself at your entrance.

The first inch isn’t anything you aren’t used to but you still gasp as he slides himself inside of you, your nails digging into his shoulder while his blunt head prods at your eager cunt, slipping inside with ease. He sinks deeper and deeper and you gasp breathlessly when he stops just short of the inflamed knot at the base of his cock.

“Can’t go all the way in, not yet,” he explains, grinding his hips and guiding them to make sure the head of his cock brushes against the same spot his fingers were just working. You are breathless, wordless, and completely overwhelmed, deciding to let him have his way with you however he needs. His hands travel the expanse of your waist, settling on either side of it, thumbs brushing the underside of each of your breasts that bounce slightly with each movement he makes.

He isn’t satisfied keeping his hands at your waist, though, and one travels back down your stomach and rests in the hair covering your mound. He loves the feeling of the hair between his fingers and he stretches his hand so that his thumb brushes against your clit, maintaining steady pressure on the bud while he grinds and thrusts in and out of you.

“Baby,” you coo from beneath him and he smirks, leaning forward enough to fold your legs up against your sides. Your thighs are pressed against your torso and your knees rest by your ears, the shift in position making you groan, shocked at how deep he is despite the whole of him not even being inside of you. “Need it all, Kakashi, please.”

How can he deny you when you ask so sweetly and he’s so close to cumming himself?

Shifting his own position so that he is practically mounting you, the front of his thighs pressed to the backs of yours. It feels like you can hardly breathe with how he has you folded but you don’t mind, succumbing to the mind numbing pleasure of the additional inches of him slowly sinking inside of you.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

You nod, licking your lips, and he continues to push what remains of his cock inside of you. His hips grind and shift and you do your best to lift your own to meet him but he stills you with the hand spread over your pelvis, pressing directly on your clit while you stretch to accommodate his knot that slowly slips inside of you.

The stretch is delicious and your lashes flutter against your cheek, eyes rolling back into your skull. He thrusts shallowly, not wanting to release his knot from your warmth, but he gives in quickly and withdraws his knot. You gasp at the loss of the fullness but he’s quick to rectify his wrong, slipping his knot back into you in a quick motion that leaves you breathless.

“Full,” you spit out with a nod and he chuckles, dipping his head to kiss you again.

“Not as full as I’d like you to be but soon.”

You giggle and kiss him back, his grunts and pants against your lips making you whimper. He’s so sexy and you’re so full of him, your head spinning when his grunts increase in a way you know means that he’s close. His cock spasms inside of you and his thumb doubles down on its ceaseless pace on your clit, his knot swelling as he groans and fills you with his release. His knot remains swollen and keeps his cock in place, the warmth of his spend filling your pussy.

Reaching for his face, you grab both of his cheeks and kiss him, his thumb still rubbing idle circles on your clit until your hips jerk and the sensation becomes too much.

“I love you,” you return his earlier sentiment with a smile against his mouth. He smiles and kisses you back, the two of you afraid to part and technically unable with his engorged knot still inside of you.

“We have to stay like this for a little while,” he explains and you nod, eyes glossy and body limp. “Instincts say I have to make it take even if we both know it won’t.”

Smiling, you keep your grip on his face and kiss him again.

“Do you feel better?”

He nods, sighing contentedly.

“For now but we have a long week ahead of us and the full moon is on Friday.”

Dots connect in your head and you giggle, wrapping your legs around his waist while he gradually shifts and rests his head on your chest.

“Good thing we’ll be all alone in the woods then, huh?”

Kakashi chuckles and nods, kissing you between your breasts.

“My thoughts exactly.”

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #thot-o-ween 2023 #monster mash 2023 #kendall writes #cw knotting #cw mating

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esmedelacroix · 7 months

Text

"Even worse when you make me cry"

husband!miguel x f!reader ♡

10 Things I Hate About You ← mini-series masterlist

"I hate it when you make me laugh," ← previous part

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You and Miguel ended up going out to eat together for lunch. It was there he explained why Justine acted the way she did.

In her universe, Justine told her best friend that she was Spiderwoman. Her best friend went ahead and told media networks for money. The police found out and her dad came home furious. He was about to get promoted to chief of police and now that was ruined because he was getting fired.

He exploded on her and she ended up jumping into the portal when Miguel tried to leave after defeating an anomaly. He was originally just going to take her back to the go-home machine seeing that the Spider Society had no use for her.

She begged him to stay just until her dad calmed down. And her whole universe calmed down. Everyone in her universe hated her, she felt like everyone was against her. The way she acted was only because all she had known for the past week was hate and sadness. She trusted Miguel because he was the first person to treat her like a human since the news got out.

Miguel assumed that she clung to him for that reason alone. "Well thanks for making me feel like a bitch for hating her," you sighed.

"How could you have known," he chuckled.

"So what happened last night?" you asked.

"Well she tried to go back to her universe that night and came back hysterical because she got arrested the second her dad found her in her room," he explained.

"You're saying that like it's the most casual thing ever," you chuckled.

"Well, when you deal with this many Spider-people nothing surprises you. But she needed a pick-me-up and kept asking me to stay. It was kind of hard to say no," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No," you said simply.

"Okay c'mon, you didn’t have a crying kid in front of you," he said.

"Her grown ass is like 24 at most," you replied.

"She was crying, what was I supposed to do? Leave her?" he asked.

"You have therapists at the Spider Society for a reason. Miguel, she's a grown woman acting like a child," you complained.

"I could say the same about you right now," he replied under his breath.

That was enough to make you go silent. You ate in silence for a while. "Look I'm sorry about that, and for lying to you, I should have just told you the truth right away," he apologized.

"Th-" you started before being cut off by ringing on his gizmo. He got up and picked up the phone. Of course, he's answering work calls on a date, you thought to yourself.

"Hey, there's an emergency at HQ I need to take care of," he said as he got his coat from the chair.

"I thought you said you took the day off," you replied.

"I did but there's an emergency I need to take care of this quick emergency,"

"What kind of emergency? A Justine emergency?" you asked. His silence followed.

"Meet me at our favorite place for dinner, I'll make it up to you," he said, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before rushing away.

. . .

You sat at your and Miguel's favorite place to go out for dinner. A quaint little family-owned Italian restaurant. It was close to closing time. He called you apologizing saying that there was another emergency. The cannon had been broken in Justine's universe and he had to try and fix it. "Are you going to choose her over me again?" you sobbed outside.

"I'm not choosing her, I just- I don't know can we talk later?" he asked hopefully. You hung up. The owner's wife Donna offered to sit with you after you figured Miguel wouldn't show up for dinner either. Tears spilled uncontrollably for the second time in the day. The first time had been when you had gotten home after being left alone at a Panera.

You told her about recent events. About Miguel and Justine and your argument at lunch. "Oh dear, arguments are the most normal things ever in marriage, just because you and Miguel don't argue as often and me and Nico doesn't make it abnormal," she reassured.

"I know but I don't even know why I'm acting like this," you sighed.

"Cara mia[my love/in Italian], you're jealous. You want to know why?" she asked.

"Why?" you replied.

"Because you love him so much. Comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of comparing yourself to Justine and villainizing her, try to understand things from her point of view," Donna said.

As you lay on his side of the bed, in his shirt crying into his pillow, you heard the door open and close followed by a sigh and the sound of his keys hitting the counter.

You quickly moved to your side of the bed and turned away from him pretending to be asleep. The door to your room swung open. Miguel expected to see you waiting for him like usual at your desk working on your new book.

He was surprised to see you already in bed at 11:00 pm. You could hear him change and toss his clothes in the hamper. You felt part of the bed depress as Miguel got under the sheets with you. A warm hand was rubbing your shoulder. "Querida[Beloved], I'm sorry Querida," Miguel whispered as he peppered kisses onto your shoulder.

You shrugged your shoulder away from him and stayed silent. “Can we talk this out please?” he asked. The only answer he got was a sniffle.

Miguel observed the goosebumps on your skin and spooned you. He knew you were cold even if you acted like you didn’t want him to hold you. Stroking your hair slowly he began to speak, "I love you. So much that sometimes thinking about it makes my heart hurt in the best way possible. My intention was never to hurt you," he started. He waited for a response but still nothing.

"It's hard for me to not care about the cannon, and it was broken big time today," he continued. Call him crazy but he could hear your eyes roll.

"The last thing I would want you to think is that I'm choosing work or another woman over you, I promise I'll make it up to you. It'll probably take you a while to forgive me, I'll give you your space but please just let me hold you?" he asked softly.

You turned around slowly and snuggled into his chest. He tenderly kissed your forehead and the tear stains on your cheeks. "I'm so sorry my love," he finally whispered as his melancholy heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

. . .

next part → "I hate it when you're not around,"

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taglist: @lilscast @lazyjellyfish300 @safixiovi @saaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiira @aktenati @vera4luv @skylertully @boringpersonality @straw-berry-ghoul @holachaoholachoa

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dolcettamagica · 7 months

Text

𐙚˙⋆.˚ 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ch.1

tags: rick sanchez x reader, love triangle, rick being rick, rick being mean af as usual, age gap, it will get dark, angst, double ended - you decide it, some chps will be smut, slow burn, possessive behaviour, obsessive behaviour this chapter: rick sanchez x reader, rick being mean, sfw with some sexual indications word count: 1750

“Listen to me, you bi-bitch. I am not doing this for you, got-got it? I was challenged by someone, and I am not someone who loses and if you spoiled bitch call me an old man again, I’ll make you scream it, understand?”

„What-what the actual fuck is this?!“

The whole Smith family was staring at the most recent weird event in their living room. A girl lying on their floor, alone and unconscious. It was obvious that she wasn’t an alien – judging by her appearance. Summer was focused on her outfit, Beth was checking if she still had a pulse and Jerry was being Jerry (useless).

“Morty – Morty you disgusting little shit! Did you buy a girl from space? Fucking pervert. I’m going to kill you!”, Rick’s voice echoed through the room, spit dripping from his mouth. His grandson instantly denied the accusations vehemently, saying that he is a pervert but not that kind of pervert. Rick was angry, furious even, someone like him – the smartest man alive – didn’t have time for shit like this.

“Um…Dad?”, Beth was holding a piece of paper in her hand instead of her usual glass of red wine, “It’s for you.”

“Wow, Grandpa Rick, maybe you were the one buying some girl like some creep.”

Rick narrowed his eyes at Summer’s remark. As if he would ever need to buy a girl at all. “Shut the fuck up, Summer, before I tell your mum where you hide your sh-shit.” That was enough to shut the redhead up and earn a disapproving look from Beth.

Quickly Rick snatched the note from his daughter’s fingers. A note – something so traditional…weirdly interesting.

Hello Rick C-137, Probably asking yourself why some girl is lying on your floor and why you’re reading a note right now. I’m not going to tell you shit though. Aren’t you the “smartest man” alive? The “rickest Rick”? You’re nothing more than an experiment to me and a dumber version of me anyway. I won’t tell you why she is in your dimension and your universe. I won’t tell you what experiment and what you should or should not achieve. Fuck, I won’t even tell you who she is or where she originated from. I also made sure that you won’t be able to track where she came from and on top of that you will never know who I actually am. Wait until she wakes up or wake her up yourself. I know damn well I piqued your interest, C-137.

He was right. The note did pique his interest, but it also pissed him off. Obviously, it was another Rick – an arrogant motherfucker who challenged Rick. “For f-fuck’s sake. What fucking bullshit is this”, his pale hand dragged down his face before he knelt down, right next to the stranger’s face.

“Wake the fuck u-up, dumb bitch. How can-can you sleep with everyone screaming.”

Dumb Bitch…Those words echoed through your head, jerking you awake. Who was this disrespectful to call you that? You blinked several times, the light from the lamps blinding you.

“O my God, Dad! She’s waking up.”

“Oh geez…I don’t think this is goi-going to end good.”

“I hope she’s cool like a new sister or something, Morty is like so annoying.”

Who was talking? Slowly your eyes adjusted to the new surroundings, and you were met with some old man staring into your soul. His scent was a mixture of alcohol, musk and after-shave. Not a bad smell at all.

“What…Where am I and who the fuck are you, old man?!”, the first thing you did was check your body. Missing limbs? Naked? Bruises? Chained up? No, everything seemed fine yet at the same time nothing was fine.

Your head felt like it was exploding, as if a belt was strapped around it and getting tighter and tighter. The room was unfamiliar just like the people around you. Everyone was screaming. Strangers. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Did they drug me? Your mouth was dry, as if you haven’t drunk any water in days. Did they kidnap me? Thousands of thoughts flooded your brain, and no answer was in sight. The room shrank and shrank and shrank. Why is everyone yelling? Who are these people? Where am I? I can’t breathe! I can’t-

Rick injected a needle into your neck, pushing a milky liquid into your system. You were having a panic-attack, and he didn’t have the nerves to deal with anymore shit thrown his way. Almost instantly the girl in front of his feet stopped shaking, your breath calmed down as well as your excessive sweating. Meanwhile Rick took a long look at you – you weren’t dirty or anything, the opposite in fact. Your hair was clean and shining while your clothes were spotless and on top of that you smelled phenomenal. A rich vanilla with an undertone of cherry, sweet and sultry.

“Wh-What did you in-inject her with, Rick?”

“Relax, Morty”, Rick rolled his eyes, “Just didn’t – didn’t want her to lose her shit. Give her a minute, we’ll be able to talk to her then.” Only Rick and the grandkids were left with you now. Beth had to go to work and Jerry was simply overstimulated, not being able to comprehend anything that happened in front of his eyes.

You took a deep breath and sat up; your eyes never left the tall, skinny frame of the older man. “Who are you guys…?”, your voice was timid, but your stare was stern.

“Rick, Morty, Summer. Y-You’re at our house. Don’t ask us why, you were probably tele-teleported here from someone who looks like me. We don’t know shit about you either, dumbass. Do we look like some human-traffickers to you? Another fucking dumbass.”

Suddenly it clicked – Rick Sanchez. You’ve seen his face all over the news again and again. Some mad scientist who was known for teleportation, universes and interdimensional traveling. And he was a fucking asshole. Morty and Summer were his grandkids. At least I know who they are.

“Now, tell me who you are”, Rick reached out and cupped your chin with his calloused fingers. His fingertips felt rough against your soft skin, you felt warmth creep up to your cheeks and spread across your face. With a hiss you slapped his hand away.

“My name is y/n. I’m 21 years old and a psych major at college. I will also be known as the girl who castrated you if you touch me again, old man.”

The last part earned a chuckle from Morty and Summer “Oh, Grandpa Rick got burned! I love you already, girl!” Their joy was short-lived though. Rick yelled at both of them, insulting them every way possible, demanding them to leave the fucking room before he feeds them to his alien-prisoners. Both complied to his command.

“F-fucking listen to me you wannabe mean girl bi-bitch. Some other Rick left a note-note for me, talking about some dumb ass experiment. What happened before you ended up here? Do you even know where you live or you wanna share a bed with this o-old man?”

“I live in….huh…Where do I live? I remember who I am but not a single thing about a family or a living space”, no matter how hard you tried you didn’t actually remember anything about your own life, “The last I recall before waking up is someone saying, “Last Chance, Sweetheart” and that someone sounded exactly like you.”

“For fuck-fuck’s sake! I’m going crazy! I’m going to kill that motherfucking R-Rick!”

Two hours. Two hours passed and Rick tried everything to at least receive a single type of information, just anything. Nothing. Nothing worked. He tried to trace you back to your original universe – apparently you didn’t belong to any. He tried to find other versions of you – a big red error appeared. He couldn’t even extract past memories from your brain. Literally nothing has worked. He failed. Rick Sanchez, the smartest man on earth, failed.

“You know, maybe some memories will come back to me after some time. You don’t have to be yelling all the time…”, you were sitting on a chair, your elbows propped on his workbench and your hands cupping your face. Rick was in fact a weird guy – loud, rude but determined. After hours of listening to his drunken outbursts you just wanted some peace and quiet. Due to Rick kind of being famous on the internet you knew a thing or two about him and what his work was about. “I know you mean well and your actions could help me go back home…if I have a home, that is. You still need to chill though, old man.”

Once again you called Rick an old man. Is that girl serious? “You dumb little…”, you heard him growl as he turned around to face you. The burping, belching genius known was anything but amused. His typically wry grin twisted into a snarl of pure contempt, revealing a glint of madness in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine.

The furrows on his forehead deepened, accentuating the lines of his craggy face as he scowled, his brows knit together in a storm of frustration. His eyes, usually glazed with a combination of apathy and brilliance, now burned with a fiery intensity that could rival the brightest supernova in the universe.

“Listen to me, you bi-bitch. I am not doing this for you, got-got it? I was challenged by someone, and I am not someone who loses”, Rick made his way over to you. Slowly, like a predator nearing his prey. His hand gripped your chair to make you face him. You felt yourself push back into the seat. He was too close and you two were all alone in his garage. One hand was now next to your head while the other was gripping your thigh. You could feel his breath blowing against your now hot, blushed face, his musk clouding your senses, his hand burning into your skin. “And if you spoiled bitch call me an old man again, I’ll make you scream it, understand?”

“Listen to me, Rick old man Sanchez. I’m neither spoiled nor a bitch. And your pathetic attempt of whatever this is isn’t working.” Harsh words which didn’t match your bright red cheeks or beating heart. Your own body was betraying you. “Fuck you and fuck this garage. I’m going to chill with your grandkids.”

A smirk grazed Rick’s lips as you stood up and left without looking back. Interesting. Who knew that embarrassing you would be that much fun? You’re feisty, witty and bratty and not a bad sight to the eye.

“Ah, makes me want to tame that little girl.”

#𓂃⊹ ִֶָ 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 #rick sanchez x reader #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rick sanchez x self insert #rick x reader #rick x you #rick x y/n #rick sanchez x you #rick sanchez x y/n

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 10 months

Text

Silver Lining 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, speech impediment, bullying and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: silverfox!Bucky Barnes

Summary: You have an unpleasant encounter with an older man.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your phone buzzes as your niece bounces dangerously close to the tree. Your sister's in town with her two kids, but neither her or her husband seem to care much about watching them. Somehow, you're tasked with that and unsure what to do about their endless energy. You envy them truly so you just kind of let them go.

You hear your mother and sister chattering in the kitchen, her husband is in the garage with your stepdad, and as always, you're the odd one out. You slide your phone out and check the ID. It's Bucky, technically your new boss. You notice you've missed a few texts from him. Great. Not a good start. You were supposed to tell everyone at dinner about your new gig.

You answer, watching the kids without much thought, play tug of war over a string of tinsel. You should stop them but it'll just snap anyhow. You clear your throat and put your hand to your cheek, feeling the nervousness warm your skin.

"Hello, Mr. B-Barnes," you eke out.

"Bucky, it's fine," he sounds slightly irritated but you don't think you've heard a different tone from him so far, "you're busy?"

"Well, uh, n-not exactly," you shrug, "j-just family s-stuff."

"Family... so you won't be able to go over the script? I just got your edits."

"U-uh, y-yeah, if you want to, I c-can grab my l-laptop," you offer and turn your back to the room.

"I'd prefer it if we could meet. I'm more of a face-to-face person."

"O-old-fashioned," you comment. You regret that he exhales deeply on the other end. "S-sorry, I o-only meant--"

"You're right. I'm old-fashioned. Not a bad thing," he insists, "so, is it too late? Should we find another time?"

"T-tomorrow?"

"I'm going out of town for the weekend," he huffs, "I really want to have this ready to record when I get back."

"R-right," you chew your thumb, a sudden bawling tears through the air as you spin around and find your nephew stuck under the tree. Oh no! "Oh, sh-shoot."

You cover the microphone as you lower the phone. Your sister rushes in, your mother at her heels as they squeal. You watch helpless as she fishes Casey from under the fir branches, "you were supposed to be watching them," she accuses.

"I-I was?"

"Oh, come on, you know, I barely get a minute to myself and you can't just keep an eye on two kids? Ugh, no job and you can't be bothered just to look," she snarls.

They're not your kids. You flutter your lashes as you fight back tears and that smart remark.

"I actually h-have a c-call from m-my new job," you hold out your phone and wiggle it at her, "I d-don't b-babysit f-for free."

She scoffs and your mom tuts as she shakes her head. They don't even care. No congratulations but they can constantly throw your unemployment in your face. You take a breath and roll your eyes.

"S-sorry, I g-got to go," you turn and drag your feet out of the room.

"Well, she didn't say she had a job," your mother mutters as your sister grumbles back, "about time."

You ignore them as you head upstairs. It's better you let your sister bask in her spotlight. You weren't looking forward to dinner anyhow. Not for anything more than the hunger groaning in your stomach. You put the phone back to your ear.

"A-are you there? S-sorry, I g-got distracted."

"Really, if you're busy--"

"N-no, I n-need to get a-away," you say.

You're silent at the confession. You didn't mean to sound so pathetic. You go down the hall to your room and find a sweater.

"Well, uh, how about we meet at the cafe? Middle ground. You like that place?"

"Up t-to you," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

"You need a ride?" He asks, to your surprise.

You pause as you grip the bright pink wool in your hand, "N-no, I'll f-find my way." You swallow and lay the sweater on your bed, "uh, b-bye."

You hang up before he can respond. You're embarrassed. He probably heard all of that and more. And now you've gone and betrayed your stupid self to him. Of all people. He doesn't need to know you're a complete failure. You hate to accept it but you have to; you need him more than he needs you. So maybe you'll just change the damn thesis after all.

🩶

You get to the coffee shop with snow caked on your hat and in the collar of your coat. You shake it off just outside and enter, your cheeks and nose kissed with the cold. As much as you love the winter, it's a bit much. You let out a brrr as you pull of your mitts and tuck them inside your hat. You hear your name and glance over. It's him, he's beat you there.

You tramp over to him as the snow melts off your boots and you wave, setting your bag in the chair as you unbutton your coat.

"Didn't m-mean t-to take too l-long," you say.

"Hot chocolate shouldn't be that cold," he assures you. You wince and look at the table. Sure enough, there's a second cup.

"O-oh, you d-didn't have t-to--"

"It's fine, not a big deal," he shakes his head.

You nod and hang your coat over the back of the chair and tuck away your mittens and hat in the sleeve. You sit and bring your bag into your lap. You flip up the flap and pull out your laptop, chilly from the walk there. You sense him watching you. You leave your computer shut as you lay it out and reach for the hot chocolate. You give it a taste and hum, thanking him.

"Sounds like a rough day," he comments.

"Y-yeah, b-but you d-don't have to w-worry about it," you assure him, glancing around evasively. When is he going to start being mean?

"You got kids?" He asks.

You have to hold in your laughter. "Sister's k-kids," you explain, "n-not for m-me."

"Ah," he accepts and reaches for his coffee, "right. Makes sense."

You keep your eyes down. You don't want to get too personal. Feels like he's just being polite, likely because he feels bad for you, not about his previous behavior.

"Don't got any either," he leans forward, his thick fingers hugging his cup, "so, your new draft was... great."

"R-really?" You lift your gaze meekly.

"Yeah, yeah, I just have a few notes," he sits back to bend down to the bag at his feet, "thanks for coming so last minute.”

You open your laptop, trying not to show any emotion. It's kind of him but you just don't believe it's anything other than pity.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #drabbles #series #silver lining #silverfox #au #mcu #marvel #winter soldier #avengers

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ziipzeepzop-eez · 8 months

Note

Greetings, i hope you're doing good🤍

Can i please request ROTTMNT brothers with their little sister?

Type: hc, platonic, hurt/comfort.

Scenario: it's about little sister reader who had been in a relationship - since she's the same age as Mikey - but she got cheated on and dumped so once her family knows - *cough* thanks to Donnie and his trackers *cough* - they go get revenge for their heart broken little sister.

(If it's okay with you can you add future Leonardo acting like the oldest brother/father to reader? It's okay if you don't want to, no pressure)

❝ home is where your heart is. ❞

⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ − ⌗ 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

❝l 𝓪/𝓷: the wayyyyyy, i actually feel kinda baddddddd, for the fool that had the audacity. to even consider - much less f o l l o w through, with cheating on THE. ✋ Hamato [Name] ................. *crickets chirping* .... nah, no i don't. HAHAHAAA (also i am so so sorry this is so late- you sent this in to me LAST YEAR....... 😀............. *runs off bawling*)

‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ | aiight. to summy this entire shindig up: i feel sorry for the sucka that did you so wrong. because lemme tell you right now babygirl lah– you. you? you, are the most estimable treasure. the cherished jewel of the Hamato Clan. whoever this joker is, just know, they fumbled the bag DEVASTATINGLY HEAVY. oh, the agony is unimaginable. unimaginable, i say!

kinda like . . . how you felt that day.

numb,

yet every nerve ending felt like it'd been cauterized – an open wound burned closed.

the same way you'd burned your heart shut, sloppily, hurriedly, with the same grace as you'd gathered your dignity as soon as you laid eyes on your once-beloved,

. . . and their new one.

THAT DAY you come home from up top, eyes red and puffy, heartbreaking whimpers streaming from your lips as you stumbled through the main entrance. –where had your heart gone?

‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ | in my professional opinion (*mocking hyena laughter echoing through the trenches*) : emotional pain, is unarguably, the worst kind of pain one can go through.

by fate, by coincidence, by the supreme pizza maker in the sky − all of your siblings were joined together in the main living room the moment you came home.

it'd be later on that you'd find out that each one of their sibling senses were tingling. it's exactly why they all coincidentally commence a living room rendezvous – which in of itself wasn't odd! it just became a tragic thing very quickly.

you didn't know whether to be relieved or even more devastated.

i concur you'd decide on a secret third thing −

when the previous relaxed vibe was wiped clean as soon as you'd stepped in and everyone caught wind of your devastation immediately, leaving a cold backwash of worry and alarm.

mikey was the first to reach you. when quickly followed by the other three, voices overlapping, all in varying tones but all uniform in inquiring 'are you okay?' . . . well. *blows heavy breath* you couldn't help the utter anguish that crashed into you in a relentless wave. being in a familiar and safe environment allowed your mind to slow down to a coherent level, and therefore allow what you witnessed to really sink in . . . you collapsed. metaphorically and physically.

"hermana? n/n, hermana, hey- hey hey- shhhh, what happened, what happened—?" leo, for all the panic that was pumping through his bloodstream, tried his best to comfort you: his foremost reaction to when you were in pain or discomfort of any kind. raph was a mess above all three of you; having previously been checking for wounds of any kind, he cringed back instantly when your cries only got louder. for a split second he was horrified he had hurt you, but a once-over showed that it . . . blessedly wasn't that? then- what . . .? donnie hovered nervously, eyes wide and shiny but even then, his hands were outstretched to you. reactive instinct. like he wanted to pull you - his only little sister - into a hug of sorts, but didn't know if it'd be received. –yet you clung to mikey with all you could hold yourself up to right then. even though he himself had no clue what was going on, he held you close and tight, tears of his own burning behind his eyes at the sight and sound of your wailing. "[n-name]? sisi, what–?" "t-they broke up with me," you bawled, your own words folding you over in despair once more. the room instantly got colder. no voices besides your own were heard. "they, th-they dumped me," you gasped, choking with hiccups, "a-and they, th-they were w-with someone e-helse! an- another per, hhu, person!"

seeing you in the aftermath of such an affair nearly killed all of your siblings.

you were so devastated that it just, broke their hearts. almost as much as yours.

you weren't like yourself.

and sure, that's to be expected!

i mean, it was your first ever relationship − your first everythings concerning intimate romance.

(well, that can happen in one's teenagehood, more or less.)

and to have what you'd thought was a beautiful bond, just.. flushed down the drain? just like that?

tha shii hurteded mayn, ngl. 😔✊

justice for [name] hamato, seriously. tf is wrong with people and dumping one of a kind gems??

‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ | there are five stages of grief, even after a breakup. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance.

and though it's a messy, painful time for you – your family is there with you through it all.

mikey (bless him) is of course, the one who assists in you recognizing all these stages and is an immense aid for caring for your delicate emotional state.

also helps that he's practically your twin. i mean, c'mon: ever since you both were tots, you were inseparable.

dare you say he knows you better than you know yourself. and that'd go even without his impressive emotional depth.

"you're amazing." he whispers. under your shared blankets and the dead of night, in contrast to the cacophony of invasive voices in your mind, his voice connected to your conscience buried beneath the mental rubble and held taut like a string of fate. no, is what you want to say. but you don't. you can't. because deep down, you know your brother is right. that all of them are right. mikey sits up in your shared hammock, the one used for special occasions, and tugs you up with him. he presses his forehead to yours and it's no secret that his gaze is made of fire. but instead of burning right through you, leaving you to shrivel up and disintegrate, to wallow in the wake of its aftermath – it's warm. it's light. "say it." "'you're amazing,'" you drawl; it's the clearest you've spoken in days. your pseudo twin blinks, eyebrow ridges met to his invisible hairline. a moment passes. two. then mikey snorts, quickly followed by you, and before you know it you're both dissolving into a mushy pile of giggles and obnoxious snorts. it was gleeful and euphoric and by the end of it, mikey is clinging to you like a koala, overjoyed. and you let him. it felt heavenly to laugh like this again. to smile.

as for your other brothers,

i can imagine Leo dragging you into self-care sessions at random.

i would say nights but really, with you guys' schedule, it could be for any time at all aksjhhd. nights are generally reserved for patrols and on the town's !! self-care is all day, every day !!

painting your nails; smoothing a face mask with care from his esteemed varietal top-notch collection on you as well as himself; stashing up a whole bunch of snacks, pizza, candy and comics (he makes sure to get your go-to orders + whtv you may be craving in the moment); turning on some fairy lights and happily binges all your favorite movies/series with you.

he'd give you tight hugs & make a bunch of well-timed jokes to get you into a better mindset on your gloomier healing days — but he can be serious as well !!

and when that happens, it's usually accompanied by heartfelt words and him tucking you against his plastron, like he could shield you from all the monsters and bad, evil things of this world.

(he'd always damn sure try.)

for all of his annoyingness, you mean the world to him and if losers like your,

🤢 ex 🤮 can't see that—

🗣THAT'S THEIR EFFIN' PROBLEM. ALL THEIR LIFE. NOW ISN'T IT??🗣

ahh one way or another, your other two dumpling brothers get lumped into the soup of self-care too !!

they do it for you, [name]. even if they don't always really want to,

they do it for you. 😤

Raph is so sweet. as your eldest brother I feel like he'd feel somewhat responsible for your heartbreak, but you get reassured that it's not your fault, and you reassure him that it's not his either. (please be patient with his logic, he'll get there eventually 😮‍💨😅) and in the aftermath he's spoiling you absolutely rotten.

carrying you everywhere (if that's whatcha dig.) getting you whatever you want: snacks, food, books, stuffies . . . anything man, he's already got it. and he cuddles you at night, giving you gentle shell rubs and churring deep in his chest — it never fails to lull you to sleep. 🥹 worked then, works now.

Donnie is a constant presence. He's not good at this "emotional stuff", or so he claims, but Don's the one who you subconsciously think of for a gentle, solid place to just be safe and be. not for distractions and laughter like Leo, not for being overly coddled and doted on like Raph, but... to just. Exist.

To be grounded.

Brought back to a steady surface.

ironically, it's the most sorting out of your emotions that you do in Donnie's presence: the most emotionally constipated of all your siblings c:

& he gives surprisingly good advice when you ask for it!!

but here's the thing.

Donnie always believed nobody was (or ever will be) good enough for his little sister, and this just solidifies it.

"Trash, everywhere."

"Donnie please—"

so ya might want to either retreat to a different mindset when this comes about or just don't take it to heart. there are wonderful suitors out there !! this one was just a bad rep. 🥹

(don't worry! dr. delicate touch elegantly exits stage left. don't mind the path of fire left in his wake! it's simply protocol. 😇)

‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ | you know the mainstream energy that all siblings carry? when they get annoyed with you but the second anybody else tries you — they're out for blood?

your

🤢 ex 🤮

never stood a chance.

donnie had it alllll handled that exact night.

he was slinking off and typing away furiously at his little tech-wrist, even as raph cradled you

even as leo quickly made up the bedroom with all the combined blankets and pillows and stuffies throughout the lair

even as mikey clung to you with big, watery eyes and tried his best in reassuring you (he might've been more devastated than you about the situation ngl ✋🏼)

and while donnie hovered, he was working.

y'all should know homeboy by now —

he is always working.

i imagine all of them would wait until you're sufficiently distracted, and that's where your sister and dad come in!

april taking you out for some one-on-one time, some fresh air, either to go for something fun around the city or back to her place for an evening in, (aaaand because your big sis needs to get her get back on your behalf too *slings bat across shoulders* —) quality time cuddles and movie night with papa splinter!! <;3 : your dad is good at damage control; you're his only daughter, of course he cherishes you. plus, he raised you alongside your brothers. your very rambunctious brothers. (/lh) all things considered, i think he's a wonderful parent where it counts. he was heartbroken for you that very same night. after all, you'd cried for him like a baby, hands reaching weakly while marble sized tears dribbled down your cheeks..... he hadn't seen such behavior since your tothood.💔,

but splinter is an accomplished man. he was much more in control of his emotions and therefore acted as an anchor of sorts to you in the moment you needed it most.

he was the one to calm your brothers down and gave them all one by one tasks as he cradled your body in his arms. no matter how old or big you'd get, you'd always have a place in your dad's loving embrace. and the night your brothers plan to make their move, which would probably be a day or so after you came home, the old man took up his role and fed you milk and cake while doting. giving you his undivided attention and care whilst he strokes your head and cheeks, reminding you of how precious you are to him —

"my precious [name]," splinter says lowly, cupping your face with his small hands. his eyes are grim, but they shine with fondness as they gaze into yours. "my jade. my little shining sky. you never cease to amaze me. life is a relentless ocean, and you will sometimes be swept away by the waves and crash against the shores . . ."

he takes your chin gently, stroking just so with his thumb. "but we will not let you drown. your strength and resilience is a true testament to how valuable of a being you are, my daughter. never forget that."

" . . . m'kay, papa." you croak. you bury your face into his chest, comforted by the warmth and softness of his fur. "alright. i promise."

meanwhile, snap clip to your siblings. blending in with the night as they move with deadly swiftness and silence, moving with intention. purpose.

whether you know what they're up to or not is entirely up to you

but i think they'd go that mile in ensuring you didn't know the mapped out details of what they were planning.

because — well, y'knaur,

they didn't hold back one bit. 🙂

whether your 🤢 ex 🤮 was a human, yo'kai, it don't MATTER.

"these hands rated e for everyone" 🗣️ — the mad dogz fr.

‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ | a detail I won't be letting anyone forget any time soon: you're all super powered genetically augmented mutants that were initially created for the sole purpose of war and worldwide domination.

you really think your

🤢 ex 🤮

— stood a chance?

nah fam....... nah.

I wanna say your siblings would be lenient, I really do (no tf I don't LMAOAOAOA-)

but realistically, I think they'd deal some heavy damage.

whether physically, emotionally, or mentally-

because you're their sister.

their baby. their princess.

and no matter how much they may lovingly tease you, and vice versa, they ain't about to let that ish slide.

the dealing of their cards is definitely not as worse as it could've been! but bad enough to not wish it on nobody else.

I mean you've got Dr. Delicate Touch, Raph in his big burly glory, and bro is Big Mad™, April is armed with her trusty bat and a Mayhem that's ready to be sicced, not to mention the deadly disaster twins —

they're all out for blood.

ohhohooooo man, they would render your

🤢 ex 🤮

into a pile of MUSH.

there are no remains. there is no recovery. the [name] hamato protection squad takes no prisoners. they kick names and take ass, even.

Dr. Delicate Touch had no preservations. (Ion even need to get into detail for that *shudders in fear*)

Donnie has the homewrecker's information, from birth to present day, down to the very microfibers of their genetic information to what they had for breakfast that morning - and he uses it to further inflict the irreversible damage that was started from Dr DT,

Leo can be, and was, terrifying. He's a broad two-edged sword that can slice through, clean and precise - so sharp you wouldn't feel a thing until he's done with his job of sawing you asunder, splitting through every atom with lethal precision.

and Raph definitely used his height and build to the highest advantage. He's got your 🤢 ex 🤮 cornered and trembling in their boots, tail between their legs (whether literally or figuratively that's up to you c:).

now legally, I cannot tell you what they did!! ,,,

but just know that they brought you to some serious justice.

"you so much as breathe their name again," they growl, "it'll be the last breath you ever take."

they wouldn't hold back their disgust. they probably make your 🤢 ex 🤮 (I will never get tired of typing that PLSSS) feel like a worthless pile of [redacted] from words alone.

and for good reason, tbh.

your 🤢 ex 🤮 had shared space and time with your family as well.

now - whether they were close with each other is ambiguous,

but realistically speaking: if they were your partner, I'd imagine they'd all at least be tolerant of one another to a certain degree.

because, well..... your siblings value your happiness.

even if you may or may not have had to scold them countless times for any odd behavior towards your now 🤢 ex 🤮, they left you both be.

......for the most part.

you'd think the shovel talk was enough!!

but after that encounter, they wouldn't give your ex a second thought.

they weren't worth the time, and you were an absolute enchantment. not even worth whatever your 🤢 ex 🤮 had going on.

they probably wish your 🤢 ex 🤮 "a happy life" to conclude the whole ordeal sksnsjdnk

oh I just know the sarcasm from the disaster twins was dripping with venom.

left boo boo kitty SHAKING FR 💥

but it simply cements the fact!!

your 🤢 ex 🤮 just wasn't the one.

when the wound of betrayal isn't as fresh, some time down the line, Leo would probably try to make you feel better by saying this is a "canon event" and essential to your "badass character development" 😭✋ (I can't stand him y'all plss-)

and even tho Raph cuffs his shoulfer for it, it really did make you feel better.

because, you know your worth.

you know you're a catch ✨👑💞 and if anyone can't see that,

then that's simply a personal problem of theirs.

YOU DESERVE BETTER QUEEN 👑💪❣️💅🏾 THEY AIN'T NOTHING.

‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ | bottom line, no matter what. your family has your back.

it didn't matter how much time it took, and how much time it will take:

they will always be there for you.

they're not perfect but they try the most!! 😭❤️

and in the times where your brothers act like.... well, brothers (/aff),

you've got a kick-ass sister to turn to.

and she's MORE than happy to lend a helping hand and back you up in the midst of tragedy 😉

and it's with them that you really do see the situation for what it is.

did it hurt? yes.

but that's the motions of life, babe.

and you WILL rise (see what I did there? AHA-) from this stronger.

not only because you're an absolute LEGEND.

..... but also, because your family is pretty great at reminding you of that too. 🥹

headers / dividers credits !! : @chachachannah @rookthornesartistry

subject to editing after posting for grammatical corrections and polishing! :)

sniper baby I'm so excited to finally have this out for you, I hope you liked it !!! muwah muwah ❣️ good things come to those who wait. 🫂 and boy oh boy have you WAITED AND MORE. XD

#zeepie beep : fandom! ⭒๋࣭ ⭑🖋˚𔓘｡#rottmnt x reader #platonic rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x sister reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #platonic x reader #x sister reader #⋮ fandom's humble offerings!! ✉⋆ ˚｡

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