#Alex fucking loves it

[faketrex]

a police station in a foreign country for the setting prompts if you're still taking them <3

Thank you, grace! 💝 For prompt number 13, "a police station in a foreign country."

RWRB, firstprince, featuring Henry throwing a punch, Alex scheming, and a fair amount of silliness. Post-canon, pre-bonus chapter.

...

“You can't punch him, you're a prince of fucking England,” Alex hisses.

It pains him to say it, obviously. The asshole standing in front of them has a punchable face–and extremely punch-worthy homophobic, xenophobic, racist opinions. It's not the first time they've had to just stand and listen to this kind of crap, but it never gets any easier.

Hell, Alex might take a swing himself if he didn't know for a fact that it would get him ushered out of England kicking and screaming, cursed to a life of long-distance love, groveling to his mom, and praying that one day, someday, Henry might escape the clutches of the monarchy and join him in the U.S. and–

“A prince,” Henry says mildly, in a tone that Alex has only heard once before, “me? You must be mistaken.”

And he hauls back his fist.

“Fucking–Henry!”

It's a solid punch.

☆☆☆

The less said about the next few hours, the better.

It doesn't really matter that Henry's a prince and Alex is the First Son of the United States. Or, well, it does, but only in the sense that when they're sitting in the police station, butts going numb in uncomfortable plastic chairs, they've got a whole entourage with them. There are three PPOs and two Secret Service officers, and the way Zahra keeps blowing up Alex's phone, she probably counts as present, too.

The chair he's sitting in squeaks obnoxiously when Alex leans over to whisper to Henry. “You know, if we had one more person on our side, we'd be a baseball team.”

“More's the pity that we're in England, not America, I suppose.”

“I don't know. If you were dead set on punching a fuckhead in the face, I think it's good you did it in England. I mean, your family must own all the dungeons here, right? When they lock you away, it'll be like home sweet home.”

Henry lets out a huff. “You realize we're not actually living in the Middle Ages, don't you?”

“Fuck that. If cops today could still use the rack, they would, in a heartbeat. And you can quote me on–”

Two chairs down, Amy clears her throat loudly.

“I mean,” Alex backpedals, “I mean. I sure do love sitting here quietly in a foreign police station and not stirring up shit.”

“Don't we all,” Henry sighs, rubbing at his bruised knuckles.

☆☆☆

The asshole guy–the punchee–says he won't press charges, to which the royal family replies that it will graciously agree to the same. It's a weird response that Alex isn't thinking too hard about tonight. Yeah, the guy had been a shithead, but Henry had been the one to throw hands. Technically, Henry's at fault here, unless–

“Are you like a swan?”

Henry has a cold, wet washcloth covering his face, but his confusion is audible through the fabric. “Pardon?”

“Like, if someone touches the Queen's swans, they're guilty, probably even if the swans were trying to fucking beak them or whatever. So I thought–”

“Alex–”

“Is it the same with you?” Alex twists sideways on the couch, watching as Henry peels the washcloth off his face. “Do you have honorary swan status?”

“I know how you feel about large birds, Alex.”

“This isn't about that!”

“No, I do not have ‘honorary swan status,’” Henry says. “I'm just one of the latest in a long line of unnecessary archaic figureheads who can behave badly and, it seems, get away with it.”

“That dick fucking deserved it.”

“Nevertheless.”

“Where'd you learn to punch like that? Dueling classes at Eton?”

“Boxing club at Oxford, actually.”

“No way. Seriously?”

“I had a crush on an instructor.” Even though he looks exhausted, one corner of Henry's mouth lifts upward. “If I recall correctly, I trained for three or four months before dropping it as a lost cause.”

“Punching people wasn't your cup of tea, huh?”

“Despite appearances otherwise today, no. And anyway, the instructor was hopelessly straight.”

“Lucky for you, I'm not,” Alex says, leaning in to kiss him.

When they break apart, Henry seems sheepish. “I still shouldn't have done it.”

“We can't change that now, but here's the game plan. The next time someone spews toxic, hateful abuse at us, we'll have two options.”

“Option one?”

Alex holds up one finger. “Option one: we leave. Doesn't matter where we are or who we're supposed to be impressing or whatever. If it sucks, hit the bricks, as the internet says.”

“And option two?”

Alex uses the finger he's already holding up to point at his own face. “Option two: I kiss you. It's a classic distraction move. Option two is also valid no matter where we are or who we're supposed to be impressing. Both options mean we won't have to listen to the bullshit.”

“I'm afraid the Queen would hate either. In fact, I'm not sure which would rile her more: our kissing in public or simply… walking away, refusing to be subject to the invective.”

“Exactly. It's a win-win for us on multiple levels.”

The expression on Henry's face is brighter than it has been all day. That, too, is a major win for Alex. “You're truly a force to be reckoned with, love, do you know that?”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, “I'm a one-two punch. But, like, the metaphorical kind. Now come here so I can kiss you again.”

[eemamminy-art]

I love that they added these new bits of dialog about how much he likes eggs—

I'M SORRY????

[andi-o-geyser]

a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind

[polarsirens]

HELLOOOOOOOOO ONE AND ALL

[dizzybizz]

i drew them,, with some mixed results

[acuar-io]

The Goths

[willgrahamscock]

I can't fix him because he aches for my blade and I could never deny him due to my bloodlust

[logan-lieutenant]

“friends turned rivals turned teammates turned frenchmen on the podium… together”

CLOSE ENOUGH WELCOME BACK CROFTY DELIVERING THE BROCEDES EULOGY ON LIVE TV

[firstprinced]

firstprince through hand holding (or henry letting himself have the love he deserves)

[quillst]

Mentopolis brain rot. I have been forcing my friend to watch it with me :D

If this doesn’t explain their relationship, I don’t know what does

Time Taken: 4 hours 34 minutes and 3 seconds

App: Procreate

[ray935sworld]

If you ever want to know why I love MotoGP more than F1, it's the mentality.

Don't get me wrong, the fancy F1 style which is mostly professional with some funny moments is perfect. But it's mainly glamorous. It's supposed to be the perfect Monaco sport.

MotoGP has the expensive aspect as well. But they are just a bunch of chaotic man that love motorcycles and no one is trying to change that for the media.

In f1 people get media training about the "Can you wank yet" question. The laugh about "lol" from max or the "if my mom had balls she'd be my dad" quote was quoted way too many times. The webber glass smash or the angry hat through from brocedes is still legendary. Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg being "anything but lovers". I literally can't think of any significant media thing. Sorry.

Motogp is like... Let me post a picture of me touching my balls thorough my race wear. I think it was Quartararo who made a video imply that he's racing in fucking lingerie. They get ass smacks from their team before and after a session. Pecco and Bez are getting referred to as an old married couple. Rider jumping on (and fucking) each other in prac ferme. Jorge said that he'll marry his childhood rival in 2-3 years after they hugged (we know you're touch starved, Jorge but how good was that hig please?). Bez talking to Domizia (Pecco's fiance) and calling Bagnaia "OUR future husband". The Marquez brothers kissed ON THE MOUTH on International live TV. Martin and Aleix E. kissed each other in a club (I think it was them, no idea about the context). And Vale... He proudly said in an interview FFM porn is his favorite and he wants to be a member of the mile high club. I CAN GO ON.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN CONSIDERED EXTRAORDINARY BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES IT.

That's why motogp is better. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[glassblossomsthunderstorm]

Some of my favourite descriptive closed captions from this season of Dimension 20: Mentopolis

It's truly such a great season; filled with film noir tropes, that the Prefrontal PIs parody in the most hilarious way, but also inspired by the concept of Inside Out leading to incredibly touching moments, clever psychological/biological/sciency processes, oh and also so. many. puns! :D

[logansargey]

Lolex as text messages

[aritany]

it’s been AGES since i’ve done one of these so: writeblr! what are we working on?

reblog this with your elevator pitch (and aesthetics/moodboards if you feel like it), link your WIP intros or relevant excerpts you’d like boosted, and i’ll do my damnedest to reblog everybody who responds in the next few days.

(P.S. bonus points if you tell me your favourite thing about it)

[lochlot]

this show sure loved its blue and green filters may it rest in peace

[he-is-everything-11]

If we get Henry saying this in the movie I might just actually DIE..😭

"when have i ever, since the first instant i touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you?"