#AldiCareers

[daftynews-blog]

Man hailed hero after walking through Aldi's middle aisle without buying anything

by Dafty News

A 45-year-old man from Glasgow has been hailed 'an absolute legend' and a 'hero' after he was caught on CCTV cameras in his local Aldi store not buying anything from the infamous middle aisle, it has emerged.

An Aldi manager revealed to Dafty News this morning: "We examined the footage of the man in our store. He can be seen walking up and down our middle aisle section where we sell most of our crap. "Unfortunately he never purchased anything, despite picking up several items before placing them back down again. "He looked interested at first but when we zoomed in he appeared to not give two fucks and calmly walked off." Aldi made a statement following the bizarre incident: "We admit our middle aisle is full of useless and meaningless crap but with careful and crafty advertizing we can usually persuade about 90% of shoppers into making a purchase in our middle aisle. "This guy nonchalantly walked through without being hooked in by our persuasive offers." It is understood the country's leading supermarket chain plan to change their middle aisle policy by electrocuting shoppers who don't buy anything from that section.

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[daftynews-blog]

Aldi checkout operator breaks world land speed record after scanning 60 items at the same time

by Dafty News

An employee with German supermarket chain Aldi broke the current land speed record after she scanned 60 items at the same time before handing the customer a receipt showing the exact sum together with the precise change, it has emerged.

Proud moment for checkout girl as she smashes world land speed record by scanning items at lightning speed, but Aldi say it's normal for their staff to scan items at such a phenomenal pace The pretty 32-year-old mum was also given the prestigious accolade of Employee of the Month for her outstanding achievement with the possibility of an inclusion in the Guinness Book of Records. A spokesperson for the record-breaking facts and achievements organization told us earlier: "We are very interested in meeting with this extraordinary young woman. We've been looking for someone to beat the world land speed record for decades but everybody who has ever attempted it has always f**ked it up." Aldi claims they could fill the Guinness Book of Records every week. Area manager Ron who has worked for the company for a lengthy six months explained: "We have the deepest shopping trolleys that are so large you need someone to left you inside just to retrieve your groceries. "We also have the largest volume of unnecessary goods flying out the door that nobody really needs and only really buy them because we put them in nice brochures and force them through letterboxes with a deafening thud." The previous world land speed record was recorded at a nearby Lidl store after a male aged between 35-45, wearing a multicoloured rain jacket and sporting a receding hairline, f**ked off out the store without paying for a £12.99 hedge trimmer...creating a sonic boom and smashing the sound barrier.

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