#Al haitham probably is gonna be able to join the brigade

[meili-sheep]

A Bird’s Bizarre Method of Conversation: How Hasn’t the Akademiya Kidnapped This Guy For Experiments on Animals and Intelligence Yet?

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Bird: (in Kaveh’s voice) Who the fuck is this?

Kaveh: Language, you naughty bird.

Bird: (in Kaveh’s voice) Whomst the fuck is this?

Kaveh: (sighs deeply) I genuinely don’t know where he got that mouth from.

Diluc: (unconvinced) Mhm.

Falcon: (perched on Diluc’s shoulder, deeply unsettled)

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Bird: (in Al-Haitham’s voice) I’ve never seen anything like this before. I can hardly believe it.

Kaveh: (intrigued) Oh? And what is this?

Bird: (in Al-Haitham’s voice) Kaveh is actually asleep at a reasonable time.

Kaveh: (offended)

Bird: (in Al-Haitham’s voice) If he asks about the blanket in the morning, he grabbed it before he passed out, okay?

Kaveh: I- (touched)

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Yelan: (doing paperwork in some undisclosed location)

Bird: (lands on her desk, pecks at whatever)

Yelan: Huh? What is this?

Bird: (in Al-Haitham’s voice) I know you’ve been watching me. You’re good, but I could practically hear your fatigue from around the corner. If you’re going to try to do some reconnaissance on me, at least rest first.

Yelan: (blinks once) Okay. Two can play at that game.

(later)

Bird: (lands on Al-Haitham’s desk)

Al-Haitham: And where have you been?

Bird: (in Yelan’s voice) You’re a smart little birdie aren’t you? Tell him this: Bold of you to assume that that isn’t precisely what I wanted you to think. Also, if you haven’t noticed a pen or two gone missing, now you have and I totally didn’t have anything to do with it. Okay, there you go, you can leave now. The bastard really thinks he can one-up me, doesn’t he.

Al-Haitham: I don’t know how or why you relayed all of that at once, but color me impressed.

Bird: (squawks) (in Yelan’s voice) Smart little birdie!

Al-Haitham: (chuckles softly as he kisses the bird’s beak) Indeed you are. Good job. (hands the bird some seeds in his palm)

Bird: (happily pecks away at them)

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Shenhe: Can you please shut this thing up before I have to kill it?

Bird: (in various voices) Help! Assault! Murder! I don’t want to die-

Ayato: (looks up from one of his reports) Perhaps you should release it from your hand?

Shenhe: (frowns) Then it will start to attack me again.

Ayato: (sighs) Okay, give it here. (gently takes the bird from Shenhe’s hand, cooing) It’s okay little one. You’re safe now. (allows them to perch)

Bird: (squawks, exasperated)

Ayato: Are you hungry? Do you want some food?

Bird: (in Diluc’s voice) I’m starving.

Ayato: (smiles) I thought you came from him. (pulls out boba tea from his sleeve) Here you go, all of the essential nutrients for a little guy like yourself.

Bird: (looks at the boba tea and then back to Shenhe, in Tighnari’s voice) Just kill me already.

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This bird is one of the most entertaining and intellgent organisms in the entirety of Teyvat. And they choose to hang out with the two roomies that have all sorts of contacts. You can’t tell me that this bird isn’t there by choice.

Honestly, that bird would be the most loved and hated bird. Loved by Tighnari, Diluc, Kaveh, and Ayato Hated but Shenhe, Yelan, and Al Haitham.

Either way. No one can touch the bird without major consequences. As even those who hate the bird care about those who love it. The bird can pretty much fully communicate. Maybe it doesn't know what it's saying most of the time, but I think it gets people's tones. (I know nothing about birds)

Now I just imagine Diluc and Tighnari with this bird and just info dumping on each other about animals and plants.