#Aky is more like... a middle name? I guess?

[honeycombhq-22]

Episode 3: Inazuma Japan +Pineapples

[Jap Dub] | [Eng Dub]

*insert intro music*

Taken place in:

Episode 69: The birth of Inazuma Japan!

"WHO'S THE MAN?"

"I AM."

"WHO'S GONNA GET INTO THE NATIONAL TEAM?"

"I AM!"

Natsumi's eyebrows furrowed, "...What... are they doing?"

"Megane's hyping his brother up. I think he's a bit nervous." Haruna replied, dusting her camera, unfazed.

The younger twin took a deep breath, "I AAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!"

"YEAAAAAAAH!"

The girls blinked.

The daughter of the chairman turned away from the twins, "Anyways, Aki. Did Team A like the new uniforms?"

"They loved it. Some more than others." She chuckled glancing to the side at the trio.

"Like yeah, bros, don't you see how good this looks on me?" Masaru gushed holding out the bottom of his blue team-jersey, admiring its quality.

The pink haired middle triplet, Tomo, massaged his brother's shoulders encouragingly, "Very, like, very nice, yeah!"

The youngest, Tsutomu, nodded enthusiastically.

The eldest triplet posed. "Like yeah, I know. I took sooo many pictures. I can't wait to post them on MySpace!"

"Can we go nooooow?"

"No."

"UUUUUGH-GAAAAH, I don't get it! Why would you want to watch Japanese football?"

"There's always a benefit from watching strong players, Luca."

"Strong players? PUH-LEASE! Japan is known worldwide for many things: baseball, Sumo, judo, snow sports and even golf but football? Even Japanese players, like YOU, go to European countries to play football!"

"You're right. But them, they might be able to make a change. Especially that goalkeeper there."

"You said his name is Mamoru, right?"

"Endou Mamoru. The captain of the football team for this here school. He turned a bunch of nobodies to the best in the country. He could do the same thing at the FFI."

"I'm guessing he's your favourite."

"But Endou isn't the only one."

"Oh gosh, you're going to give me a whole rundown of every single player aren't you?"

"You know me so well."

-

"Now who's that one?"

"That guy's twin brother."

"GO KAZUTO! YOU. ARE. THE. MAN!!!" Kakeru screamed through a megaphone cone. "WOOOO!!!"

"He doesn't even have the ball anymore..."

"And Gouenji is cornered by Matsuno and Mukata. It seems the whole of Team A is cautious of the Flame Striker, and rightfully so! What will he do?!"

Gouenji spotted Toramaru running towards the goal with Yamino trailing behind. He then kicked the ball through Matsuno's legs, passing, "Go for it Toramaru!"

Toramaru recieved the ball and was about to kick it when something made him hesitate and instead he passed the ball back to a now surprised Yamino.

Then the whistle blew.

"And that's the end of the first half! The match we have today is a tight one with the score only being 1 All. The fight for a place in Japan's national team will continue after half-time!!!" Kakuma announced.

"Great job, guys. We just need to keep pushing the good work until the end of the game!"

Everyone in the team responded back to their captain enthusiastically except for one red head who rubbed the lower half of his back.

After scoring the goal that tied the game, Hiroto didn't expect EVERYONE to jump on him. The only one who gave him grace was Alex, who gave him a high five after Team A got off of him.

I don't know if I should try to score again after that. He chuckled to himself with a sweatdrop as he walked towards the field.

"Here you go Kabeyama."

Kabeyama beamed. "Oh, Megane! Are you a manager now?" He asked then chugged down the water.

His face scrunched, "Manager? Please, that stuff's for girls. I'm too smart to be a manager." He adjusted his glasses as they beamed under the sunlight. "I, Megane Kakeru, shall serve as the strategy advisor and support my brother in his undoubtedly successful efforts to team Japan!"

The dark green haired defender sighed in satisfaction and gave the bottle back. "Thanks for the water Megane!"

"Sure thing." He grinned... then his face fell as his junior walked away from him. "Hey, were you even listening to me?!" He yelled shaking the empty bottle violently. After realising Kabeyama wasn't listening, the brunette grumbled as he put the bottle away.

The girl tightened the sleeves of her tracksuit jacket wrapped around her waist, a troubled look on her face.

The first half is already finished... and I haven't done anything...

She thought back to the first half. How Kidou, Kazemaru and Gouenji wizzed right past all the midfielders and defenders after the kickoff. They didn't score thanks to Endou being the only one awake.

On the positive side, yes, she did collect a few rebounds before the other team got possession of the ball, but that was the bare minimum compared to the clean interceptions others were making. What she should have been making.

What can I do—

Her thoughts stopped at the presence of the Blizzard Striker staring at her side with a curious glint in his eyes. "Are those pineapples?" Fubuki asked.

"Yeah. Do you... do you want some?"

He flashed his signiture gentle smile, "Yes please. I've never had these before." He said before taking a small bite.

Her eyes widened, "Really?"

Fubuki hummed then paused his chewing, "Aren't you going to have one too?"

"Oh, right." She bit a piece of her own, her shoulders began relaxing.

I needed this.

"Um Alex..." Fubuki called. The teal-eyed boy stuck the tip of his tongue out, "my tongue's starting to tingle a bit. Is that a good sign?"

Alex's eyes widened as her shoulders tensed up, "N-nothing bad should happen. I must've not prepared them properly— I'm sorry!"

I was so sleepy last night I didn't properly make them!!!

I must've not cut them properly— Did...did I put salt?

Did I not leave it out long enough— Did I even notice if the pineapple was ripe enough?!

OH GOSH— OH GOSH— OH GOSH— OH—

Her racing thoughts paused when she heard the boy chuckle, "It's okay. Maybe I need a little kick," Fubuki said, then looked at the field. "I haven't really woken up yet."

He hasn't woken up...

All those tackles, the number of times he marked players from advancing into their side, his interceptions... He was being a better defender than the majority of the defenders.

And that's him... when he hasn't woken up?

The grey haired player swallowed the last bit of the pineapple piece, "These are really good! Do you always eat them during halftime?"

"Y-yeah! And sometimes before I compete." She chuckled nervously putting the container away. "They're kind of like my good luck charm."

"Well if it's your good luck charm, I shouldn't worry too much then." He smiled with a thumbs up.

"And just so you dim-witted co-ops know, I'm playing for myself only."

What a selfish little—

"Kidou,"

He snapped out of his head, "Yes Gouenji."

"Don't focus so much on him. You have a team to lead." The number 10 reminded, a hand placed comfortingly on Kidou's shoulder.

He nodded, letting out a deep breath. He stepped in front of the group making everyone pause what they were doing, "Team, I have a strategy."

-

"Kidou seems to be on a mission in these last few minutes of the game. He's cutting through the defence like a knife!"

"Are you done yet?"

"Nope."

Midorikawa stared with wide eyes as he watched the power of his Astro Break decrease from the ball.

"And Kabeyama blocks Midorikawa's shot!"

They weren't joking when they said he got stronger... What if I'm not—

"Don't give up yet Midorikawa, we still have 3 minutes left!"

He shook his head at Kidou's words, "Right!" Then raced to the ball as it was about to go out the corner. "Take it Yamino!"

Yamino recieved the ball, chesting it into the air. Dark energy began to surround him as he jumped into the air.

Tsunami was about to race down to block the shot when he spotted Gouenji and Kazemaru running down the pitch. His eyes widened.

Oh SHOOT— What if they're gonna do Honoo no Kazamidori WITH this guy's shot? I have to keep them out of it. The pink haired defender then looked behind him to the purple haired player staring at him with wide eyes, "Go for it, bro!"

He replied with a hesitant nod before running in front of the incoming ball.

Here goes nothing.

"Huh—"

Everyone froze in confusion, including Tobitaka himself as the ball landed softly in front of him.

Did...did I really just do that?

"And Team B is without a goal thanks to..." Kakuma squinted his eyes, staring at the field, "that Number 3 in Team A! It's almost time before this tense game comes to an end, and the representatives will be announced. The question is, WHO WILL MAKE THE TEAM?"

"Great job dude!" Tsunami praised giving Tobitaka a thumbs up while running down the pitch, "Now you gotta pass it over here!"

Tobitaka blinked out of his mini daze and kicked the ball.

However his pass wasn't accurate enough to connect and was intercepted.

Fudou's teeth gritted into a forced smirk as he landed. Then he dribbled past Tobitaka making his way towards the goal.

"You're not getting past!" Sakuma yelled and slid on the ground about to tackle him.

"Heh," Fudou backheeled the ball into the air as he jumped over Sakuma making his tackle unsuccessful. His mouth widened into an evil grin, "Too slow Cyclops."

But he didn't realise—

"Oh?"

"What the—"

Then, it was like time slowed down.

There, in the air her tracksuit jacket and hair blew with the small breeze while a concentrated look coloured her face.

"Did you see that! While mowhauk was busy mocking Sakuma below, he created a blindspot for the girl to get the ball above him."

"Yeah. That's a mistake a player makes when they get too cocky on the field. A rookie move."

The corners of her mouth rose ever so slightly. Her eyes shimmering.

His teeth gritted.

Oh FUCK NO.

Her eyelids closed before she then passed the ball.

And—

"GOAAAAAAL!!! Endou's team pulls through with a goal within the last few seconds!" The umpire's whistle blew. "And that's the end of game!!!"

"Hey. Where are you going? They're about to select the players."

"You can stay to watch. It's obvious who's going to be on the team, though."

"...It is?"

Seeing all the players drop to the ground due to exhaustion, the girl sat down and stared at the field.

Sixteen spots...

Her honey eyes glanced at both ends of the field, Endou taking off his gloves and Tachimukai resting against the goal post. The two goalies are in by default, that's 14 positions left.

Gouenji's, of course, going to make it. He was the first to score a goal and the only one who scored against Endou.

And Hiroto... His move was way more powerful compared to practice. That's another great forward.

He's great at dribbling. His move looked powerful, too, but he had to shoot against Kabeyama.

Even though he isn't very muscular, he's like a barrier. A great defender.

Kidou is so much more impressive in person. His dribbling, footwork... the ability to make or break the flow of the game...

And I can't forget him. Especially after the trap he made, he's way smarter than people want him to be, I think.

He did an amazing pass even when he lost balance after a tackle... and he doesn't even look tired.

He's strong.

He's very fast.

He was able to dribble past three people.

He's great at dribbling too.

He can read who the ball goes to next.

And Fubuki... Fubuki's just so good.

The white haired candidate pushed herself off the ground. She began rubbing her palms against her shorts as she made her way to edge of the field line.

Am I really talented enough... to play with players like them?

Hibiki stepped before the lined up teens with another man.

"Before we announce the results of the selection match, I'd like to introduce you all to the coach of the national team."

Said man stepped forward. "That's right, I will be the coach for the team: Kudou Michiya. Pleased to meet you all." He then looked down at his black book, "The following are on the team."

"What a way to cut straight to the chase—"

"Number 14, Team White." He called and there was a brief silence.

Then Kidou stepped forward, "Here sir."

"He's going based off our shirt numbers." Someone murmered in the bunch of players and everyone immediately twisted their heads to double (triple) check their numbers.

"Number 10, Team White."

Gouenji Shuuya stepped forward, "Yes sir."

"Number 10, Team Blue."

Fubuki Shirou

"Number 11, Team Blue."

Kiyama Hiroto

"Number 2, Team White. Number 4, Team White. Number 4, Team Blue."

Kazemaru Ichirouta, Kogure Yuuya, Tsunami Jousuke

"Number 5, Team White. Number 1, Team White. Number 10, Team White."

Hijikata Raiden, Tachimukai Yuuki, Midorikawa Ryuuji

"Number 8, Team White."

Fudou stepped forward with a smirk, "Here."

"Number 2, Team Blue."

"Yes sir."

Then his face fell as he watched the player— the girl who stole the ball from him step forward.

Alex Jones.

"Number 7, Team White. Number 3, Team Blue."

Utsunomiya Toramaru, Tobitaka Seiya

"Number 5, Team Blue."

Kabeyama Heigorou

"And finally, Number 1, Team Blue."

Endou Mamoru

"And that's it, our chosen 16."

Someoka's shoulders slugged as he sighed.

"Hey. Keep your head up, you've come far." Gouenji encouraged holding his fist out.

"We'll meet again Someoka, I'm sure of it!" Endou chimed in.

Someoka fistbumped Gouenji with a smile, "Thanks guys—."

"YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY!!!"

"I kno—"

"YOU SAID I WAS THE MAN KAKERU!!!"

He patted his wailing brother's shoulder. "You'll always be the man Kazuto."

"Hey,"

Kidou gulped the sudden heavy lump in his throat, "...Hey,"

Sakuma flashed a small smile, "Congrats, you really deserve it."

Kidou froze, not knowing how to respond to the compliment. He couldn't just say 'thanks' and move on. Their history became too complicated. He didn't want to make him feel like he wasn't enough, but at the same time, he didn't want to look like he pitied him, because he really didn't.

Everything's not like how it used to be after what happened.

His fists clenched, "I really think you should've—"

"It's okay Kidou, really." Sakuma said then looked at the audience. He was there too. The candidate smiled again, holding his hand out. "We'll be cheering you on."

The playmaker shook his hand, "Thanks, Sakuma."

Then they parted way again. Kidou sighed. He'll only be able to talk this out after the tournament now.

He straightened his posture as he made his way back to the group, Inazuma Japan.

"From this moment on, you are the representatives of our country. Those of you who were chosen, you all now bear the hopes and dreams of everyone who did not make it. Don't let their dreams go in vain."

"Yes sir!"

"This road will be long and hard. My job is to take you to the top, but you'll have to bring you're all into this. Are you all committed?"

"Yes sir!"

Alex heaved a sigh, her shoulders relaxing.

"I knew you'd make it, that was a really great pass." Fubuki complimented.

"Not compared to your sho—" She stopped herself with wide eyes when she saw Fubuki place a finger in front of his mouth.

"Don't remind them or else I'll end up like Hiroto." He whispered, a chill running down his spine at the thought of Kabeyama jumping on top of him.

I heard he weighs about 150kg...

Alex nodded pretending to zip her lips with an invisible zipper.

"I wouldn't have done it without you though! I'm sure it must've been the tingling." He playfully winked making the corners of her lips rise in heartwarming relief.

"Fubuki Shirou~ You scored a goal," Hiroto began with his bangs covering his eyes. "you know what that means, right everyone?" He asked looking upwards revealing a smirk everyone last saw on Gran.

It was only then that Fubuki realised Team A was closing in on him.

Fubuki stepped back onto his heel, ready to turn the opposite direction and run. He chuckled nervously, "Do you maybe have another slice of pineapple?"

"GET HIM!"

🌄[24 Mar 2024]🌄

𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 | [𝙽𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝙴𝙿𝙸𝚂𝙾𝙳𝙴]

Outro:

[tsumu]

Nightmares

Yui followed the specific instructions that was relayed to her from her father by Yuto.

Go to the disclosed location.

Go there alone.

Don’t carry any weapon.

With every step, her anxiety heightens. What’s going to happen? Will she be okay? Will tomorrow come for her? Yui was terrified and shaking nervously. She finally arrived at a quaint little house in the middle of nowhere. The roof was covered with the whitest snow her dark hazel eyes had ever laid upon on. The pathway towards the door had traces of footsteps which alarmed her because it was proof that her father was alive and merely inches away from her.

As she arrived at the door, Yui took a deep breathe and knocked on it.

“H-hello.. Is anyone home?” she said timidly.

The door swung open and right before her was an intimidating looking man. His figure towered Yui and his arms were decorated by alluring tattoos that signalled his previous membership in the Yakuza.

“Yui. I have been expecting you. Please come in.” the man spoke.

Yui froze.

“Aw come on, don’t worry I wont hurt you.” he motioned for to enter the house.

Talking off her shoes, she entered the house and was greeted by the smell of warm charcoal burning by the fireplace. It was a beautifully decorated traditional Japanese house. Nothing that one would expect from a former Yakuza boss.

The mysterious man led her to a room where she could see a large a garden that was blanketed in beautiful white snow.

It was beautiful and Yui was in awe. This is how she exactly pictured to be the house of her dreams.

“Beautiful view isn’t? It will be yours soon?” an unknown voice boomed.

Yui turned around and saw a frail old looking old man on a wheelchair. He had an IV drip beside him which indicates his declining health.

“Wont you come sit?” the old man gestured towards the floor cushion. Separating the two was a medium sized wooden table. Suddenly, more tough looking men came into the room with a cups, a pot of tea and some traditional Japanese snack.

Yui watched everything in awe.

“Please have a sip. I made sure to serve the finest blend since my only daughter is coming to visit me.” he said while smiling gently at Yui.

“Thank you.” Yui sheepishly replied.

“So I am assuming you are here because of your dreams right?”

Yui nodded.

“And that person, told you to kill me right?” the old man bluntly said.

Yui couldn’t hide her shock at those words.

“H-how do you know?” she asked.

“There has never been a moment in which I am not watching over you my dear daughter. From your first days of being able to walk and when you graduated university, I have witnessed everything. Being the daughter of a yakuza comes with many risks”

“I have always made sure that there were no obstacles in your life. That you lived an mundane but peaceful life.” he continued.

“That man you are seeing? Aki? He’s actually the grandson of a former ally of mine that I had to eliminate.”

“I suggest that you stop seeing him if you want to live the next day.” spoke the man calmly.

Yui’s eyes widened.

“But I understand that you might not even believe me because after all..” he paused and glanced at the scenery outside.

“I am a nothing but a terrible human and father who had abandon his own child.”

Soon tears were rolling down Yui’s cheeks.

“Did you dream of Yuko last night? The girl who looks like you but from the other universe?” the old man asked.

“Yuko?”

“Ah she never mentioned her name to you? Well her name is Yuko. Did you talk to her last night in her dreams?”

“No. She didn’t appear in my dreams last night.” Yui replied.

“Hmm. I guess they got her already. She’s probably going to be executed as we speak. She got caught by the supreme leader yesterday.”

Yui immediately stood up in horror and disbelief. Her tears were long gone, anger has fuel her every bone but she was still shaking.

“H-how do you know all this?” Yui asked suspiciously.

“I told you, I have been watching your every single move since you were born my dear. There is nothing that you know that I don’t.’’ the old man boasted. He immediately approached Yui in his wheelchair and placed a gun in her hand.

Yui immediately backed away and shook her head.

“W-what are you doing?” she nervously questioned.

“Well.. let’s end it everything right now, right her. Let’s liberate you from your suffering.” he said nonchalantly.

While holding Yui’s hand, he shifted the gun pointing towards his forehand.

“You have every right to end my life. My dear child I was the root of all your suffering.”

Yui’s eyes were trembling, unable to control her tears. She was feeling overwhelmed.

Her father knew that she was coming her all along. She didn’t know that the reason why her life was so boring was for her own safety. She didn’t know that her father was watching her from afar.

Is it really fair for her to kill her remaining blood-related relative? Will she really do it? If she doesn’t do it, Yuko will be dead. But that would also lead to her own father’s own death. In the midst of her troubling thoughts, Yui sob uncontrollably.

Suddenly, a loud sound pierced through their eyes. Almost, immediately the sound of a body collapsing raided echoed throughout the room.

Soon, the room was bathing in a velvet pool of blood.

[playgroundghosts]

Haven't been on Tumblr in a long time, update for my friends

Oooooooooooooof, the past year has been very traumatic for me but I might as well update people I guess. CW death (human and animal), trauma, family abuse, trust issues, etc?

In 2023, while I was living with my dad again, our home burned down. He unfortunately did not survive, "fortunately" Aki's own health was declining and I had to put her down months before it happened, although a friend moved in with us and her cat unfortunately didn't make it out. :'(

I'm still living with the same friend currently, and we adopted her cat's siblings (sister was already pregnant so now we have +3 kittens, so 5 cats, lol), legally my roommate's cats but I'm their uncle/grunkle figure, lol.

But yeah... my family's been absolute fucking shit, lmfao, my paternal grandpa (AKA my dad's dad) tried to scam me out of our home insurance money (contacted them while I was in the hospital with minor burns!!!) and he harassed me and tried to convince me to give him dad's car for free and shit, I even allowed him access to our shed (untouched by the fire) and he took shit that I asked him to take to my mom (my parents were divorced) and even changed the damn locks on the shed and cried that being near the burnt-up remains of our home was rough on him because he had COVID recently, fucking baby behavior when I LOST MY HOME, MY DAD, AND NEARLY EVERYTHING, FUCKING WOW???

Other relatives have been distant/don't reach out at "best", some of them have refused to help because "sorry, we don't have room" or pretend that they want to help but are conveniently always busy. I even had a memorial for my dad (which also included my younger brothers, who both died in unrelated accidents), I planned it weeks in advance to try to accommodate relatives that live out of state but barely anybody came fucking anyway. I asked my mom to do invites for her side of the family and she blatantly didn't invite anybody, and my dad's side of the family was being lazy as fuck too so I had to try to hunt down my dad and brothers' friends to try to invite. The only family that came was one of my uncle's brothers (who lived locally), my mom, and my little sister. At least plenty of my brothers' friends came, but I planned it for PEOPLE THAT AREN'T ME with not much help so thanks for flaking, everybody that didn't fucking come!

I'm very much done with my family except for my little sister, the rest of them are assholes that can go fuck themselves tbh.

I'm mostly back on my feet after months of having to wait for documents to be replaced, waiting for insurance stuff to be resolved because "scampa" (as my friends have been calling him) really delayed shit by trying to act like he was the point of contact when he wasn't even named in the policy or EVER a resident of our home, waiting for social workers only for them to repeatedly flake on me... I've gained some pretty bad trust issues after all this, ngl!

Our current home is a manufactured home that was meant to be a gift for my middle brother but when he died, scampa rented it out to some nasty hoarders that he knew and let it go to shit. He wanted $5k for it, after previously claiming that he'd give it to me for free, then upping it to $2k, to finally upping it to $5k. He acted like he would help clean and fix things up but when I found out about his insurance fuckery, he ghosted, fucking scam artist piece of shit. So I've been cleaning this nasty trailer, DIY fixing shit, and also tidying up the very-much-neglected-yard mostly by myself for the past year. (My roommate helps of course, but she works while I'm on disability so I'd rather not overwork her when she already has a "real" job, you know?)

Also been dealing with a lot of stress with therapy, lol... the psych place I was going to at the time of the fire was already kinda meh, the new psychiatrist there was constantly trying to convince me to go off more and more meds even after my fucking home burned down, so I tried switching to a new place. I tried the new place (Hegira in Michigan, fuck them) for about a month but it was impossible to reach my therapist, she cancelled our first appointment the day before and when I tried to reschedule after SHE cancelled, I was told (by office staff) that I'd have to wait a month, despite my trauma. I couldn't get in touch with her directly at all and my case manager even went on vacation and was also impossible to reach, it felt like bullshit. I asked if I could be reassigned to somebody else and they were difficult about it, and I'd constantly leave messages to different people and not get called back about it, and I had to repeatedly call the damn admission office because otherwise nothing got fucking done.

Finally found a different psych practice elsewhere, got a fancy PTSD diagnosis (yay...) and I was told that it sounds like I had PTSD from several incidents even before the fire (yay x2...), so I get to deal with the fun extra betrayal of "Hey wait, I asked several of my past psychiatrists if I could possibly have PTSD and they insisted on anxiety/depression!" :')

Now the Dump's been reelected and I've already been dealing with some anti-LGBTQ discrimination locally, lol. :') Yay, I love things getting worse!!!

I've been trying to reach out to the community a bit to not be a huge fucking shut-in, but I get randos in local Facebook groups calling me a groomer and shit, and group admins don't do shit despite this obviously breaking official group rules, yay. I tried reporting some people in one group (report to group admin, not report to Facebook) that claimed to have "no rules, but don't break Facebook TOS" and the (sole) group admin kicked me out for "trying to get the group in trouble" when... my guy... the people trying to get the group in trouble are literally the people accusing me of gross NSFW at playgrounds that you clearly want to fucking defend since you won't punish them, wtf? I even tried messaging the guy because hey, you'll boot me but not these people saying nasty shit? One other member even said that one guy who loved harassing me was saying nasty shit about his daughter so he blocked the loser. My message were completely ignored, doesn't even have the "NAME read this" thing at the bottom. Well, fuck you too, obvious MAGAt loser.

At least being a cat uncle (or grunkle, to the kittens) has been chaotic but in a good/fun way, we were gonna adopt the kittens out but we got too attached, lol. My roommate (trans woman) favors the 2 girl kittens and I (trans man) favor the 1 boy kitten, and he seems to favor me too, maybe because his sisters prefer their "grandma hooman" so he knows he can hog me, lol. My roommate's a few years older than I am (32 :'( ) so we joke that she's a hag since she's a 35 year old cat-grandma.

But yeah... not taking anybody's bullshit anymore, no more patience for that shit. Most of my family is MAGA scum anyway, can't claim that you're a good Christian when you ignore your homeless relative around Christmas (last year), fucking losers, lol. "We don't have room :'(" Bruh, I ran out of my fucking burning home with the clothes on my fucking back (plus my phone to call 911 and my glasses), way to fucking lie. The only thing that I could really salvage from inside our home was fortunately Aki's urn, I chose a metal (tin?) one so it was charred to shit and some of her cremains spilled out, but having at least some of her cremains is better than nothing. Everything else? My dad's car, the few things in it, and stuff that was in the shed. There wasn't much left outside but plenty was fire-damaged anyway, like the lids on our trash cans melted into the body of the cans since they were right outside the trailer.

And even with little that I DID have left, it's so fucking scummy that my scampa tried to beg for my dad's car (FOR FREE!!!) and try to get the insurance check, what the FUCK!!! Not only that but we were underinsured because dad hadn't updated the policy in years, so I got like $40k ($30k for cost of our trailer, $10k for property) and plenty of the money had to go toward cremating my dad, demolishing the old trailer, fixing this current hunk of junk up, etc so it's not like I'm suddenly rich now. Good to know that I'm worth scamming after the most traumatic time of my life, scampa! According to the insurance adjuster, our old trailer was worth more like $60k or $70k with all the modifications that my dad had made, like solar panels, a wood stove, etc.

Fortunately some local people donated clothes, kitchen stuff, etc for our "new" home, and we did a GFM to hold us over until I could get the insurance money (thanks a fucking lot for the delays, scampa!), although I feel a bit cross about certain people offering to help with things and then flaking hard.

It's also been really difficult cleaning and fixing this place up, like we were absolutely infested with ants when it got warmer in the summer and I hired a pest control guy after store-bought stuff, diatomaceous earth, etc weren't doing the job, his pesticides didn't do shit, lmfao. So I had to spend even more money to buy some stuff from online. Scampa didn't tell us that we had fruit trees outside and his gross tenants probably just ignored them with how nasty it was when we moved in. I had to yell at scampa to clean the damn fridge because it was full of moldy food. Like BRUH!!!

Also had plenty of shit break on us... like the washer/dryer that were here, so I used some of the insurance money to replace them. And certain things that I hired a handyman for, and he ripped us off by offering to come over on the weekend, not disclosing that he had a "time and a half" fee for the weekend, and then took fucking days to bring a receipt over which said why it was so fucking expensive. And our furnace stopped working recently so we had to get it repaired, even though we called a different company to inspect it months ago and he said it was fine, when this recent company said that it was poorly hooked up so it likely overheated and killed the motor.

I also tried to hire a family friend (friend of a brother) to do yardwork, paid him $100 upfront, we agreed on what would be done, and then he did partial work and said he was "done" and that I should "let him know if I have more work to be done" as if the yard wasn't covered in branches and weeds and shit. So I've been doing yard work myself every week or 2 (depending on how fatigued I am) to manage the trees (we have 10+) and other yard plants, I paid a different guy (way more reliable) to mow our grass while I was clearing the yard, until I could start mowing it myself to save money.

I've lost count at this point but I've filled over 20 fucking yard waste bags full of branches/sticks, plenty of which were already on the fucking ground before I started trimming the branches because they were out of control, and that's not even counting the actual garbage (non-yard waste) that I bagged up! Doesn't include all the clutter (mostly fucking trash) that was in the shed either! Took fucking months of doing "Tetris" with the trash can to get rid of OUR weekly trash plus the clutter left here, because we were already ripped off for the cost of the trailer, like we wanted to pay extra to have somebody haul junk out of here. Fortunately some of the clutter was salvagable so I left the not-obvious-garbage at the curb for randos to take.

Nosy friends are free to ask me for burnt home pics (RIP :'( ) or current trailer/yard cleaning progress pics, but I'd rather not post them publicly, I'm sure y'all understand. :')

Sorry for the rambling, it's... a lot, hahah, and I ramble anyway.

I was hoping to finally start T soon but I'm feeling hesitant with a possible Orange Man presidency on the horizon... With all the shit that I've already dealt with, I almost feel like I need to be more defensive and tell more people (in real life) to eat shit, fuck off, etc when they give me dirty looks or say rude shit tbh. Not like the people accusing me of grooming kids get fucking punished at all...

[ramuneempiremtl]

Slave-kun’s Happy Life in Another World: Chapter 23

"The leader still hasn't arrived, huh?"

"Since we have some time, why don't we measure Owl's magical power?"

So, the three of us went to a place called the appraisal office.

By the way, Aki had disappeared at some point. He probably went to check out the cafeteria inside the branch, I guess.

Appraisal office.

As the name suggests, it's a place where you pay to have the value of items you want to know about appraised.

They also measure magical power here. It seemed they could tell you what types of magic you're likely to be good at as well.

There's someone at the reception, but the measurement is done by a machine, kind of like self-service. We asked Nove to pay again to start the measurement. The money is inserted into a coin slot, just like a vending machine. Very modern.

I did as I was told, stuck my hand into the device, and let my magic flow. It might be similar to a blood pressure measuring device.

There's a meter and something like a glass orb, and you're supposed to understand the results by looking at them.

But I don't get it at all.

The meter's needle is pointing right in the middle, and the glass orb has become somewhat colorful. What's this?

"Wow, you really do have a lot of magical power."

"You might have as much as Nove, right? It'll probably increase a bit more as you grow."

"The types of magic you can use… Hmm, the colors are all mixed up, I can't tell. …Excuse me! Could you take a look at this?"

Nove called out to an elegant old lady who was leisurely drinking tea at the reception.

This is the second old person I've met in this world! It's very rare. The first one was a butler-like person who helped us at the mansion.

"Oh my, such a small child has come. Let me see."

The old lady put on her glasses and observed the glass orb while touching the machine.

I caught a glimpse of a silver bracelet on her wrist, and Nove exclaimed in surprise.

"With such a high amount of magical power, you have many types of magic showing up. Excluding the basics, there's ice, lightning, this might be spatial. Then there's healing, reduction. The future looks promising for you."

"…Thank you."

"Hehe, no need to be so formal. I'm just a staff member now."

Suddenly, Nove's attitude changed.

Is she someone important?

Ice and spatial magic suit me. I'm happy, I might be able to make ice, and maybe I can do things like teleportation or storing things in a different space! Although I don't feel like I can do it.

Reduction might mean "purification." It seems like it's turning impurities back into magical power. There might be more uses for it.

The possibilities are expanding.

I need to study.

The master said, "Maybe I should measure mine after a long time," and borrowed money from Nove again. Nove, while glaring at the master, handed over the coins without saying anything, perhaps mindful of the old lady at the reception.

The needle stopped at about one-tenth of the scale. The glass orb was a color that could only be described as brown.

Even I can tell, it's probably very little.

"Oh, it's grown a bit!"

"…Finally reaching the average for a normal person, that's good. Can it still grow at your age?"

"The training paid off."

"Oh, what interesting colors… Normally, with that amount of magical power, these types of magic wouldn't show up."

"What! This is just brown, isn't it!?"

It looks just brown to me!?

"It's quite distorted. Dawn, Chaos, Great Tremor, Storm, Blazing Sky, Starfall, Great Vortex, Ice Prison, Extreme Lightning…"

"W-what!?"

The old lady listed off unfamiliar terms. What on earth can she see?

I can't understand the content with the vocabulary of this body. But it sounds strong!

"I've never seen anything like this before. All 'World-Type' magic that could take down several countries… if you could activate them, that is."

"…They're all similar to the types that appear in ancient documents…When you mix them all together it turns brown…Could this be a malfunction of the machine?"

"Well, who knows."

"I told you, I used to be called a child of the stars, a magical prodigy."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard."

The nuance of "Child of the Stars" is something like "child prodigy."

I think he's more like a final weapon than a child prodigy.

No way, if the master becomes a world-destroying sorcerer who laughs and shoots magic like crazy…

Judging from the amount of magic power, it seems impossible to activate. I hope it's just a bug in the machine.

"Thank you very much for your help."

"Hey, thanks."

While Nove thanked the receptionist old lady in polite language, the master thanked her very frankly in his usual tone. Nove is glaring at him a lot.

"It's fine, I was free anyway. This place is far from the troubles of the city."

"…If I may be so bold, that bracelet is a 'Circle Rank,' isn't it? You are the former lord, right?"

Wow.

She must be an amazing person!

"Hehe, I told you, I'm just a staff member now. Don't you think 'Appraisal' is a good place to make use of 'Discernment'?"

"That's reassuring. I'd definitely like to request an 'appraisal' again."

"H-Hulk!"

"I'll be waiting."

She seems like a friendly person, which is a relief.

Nove is flustered, though.

The master doesn't change his attitude even when he hears she's an important person. Rather, he speaks in the same tone to everyone.

I bet he'd be the same even if he met the king.

"Well, you boys must have a big job waiting for you."

"…How do you come to think that?"

"I can tell. Because I have 'Discernment.' I'm sorry to have the children clean up this branch."

"Cleaning…?"

"The air hasn't been flowing well here lately… I used to have tea and chat with the current lord. If I hear any interesting news, I'll let you know."

"…Understood."

"Children are treasures. Take good care of them."

The old lady doesn't give off the intimidating presence of a former lord at all. She's just like a grandmother watching over her grandchildren.

Still, I can tell she's no ordinary person.

We've met an amazing person.

The master looks puzzled when he hears about cleaning.

"May good fortune come your way."

"Good fortune to you."

After exchanging greetings, we left the appraisal office, pulling along Nove, who seemed a bit spaced out.

[smilingslacker]

It’s odd how little pain there was at first. The point where the damage was done simply felt burning hot for a while and the sound of bones giving way was so out of place and weird that it didn’t really register. Then the cold started to creep in from his limbs as the blood was flowing out instead of to the extremities of the body. It wasn’t until the moment the monster released him suddenly that the hurting started. Even sliding from the cold stone surface and falling to the ground from the slight height didn’t feel too bad compared to the pulsating pain that was intensifying with every heartbeat. Speaking of heartbeat, the heart going crazy within that messed up rib cage somehow seemed to have been spared from the assault, unlike the right lung that almost felt like it was missing completely since it held no air at all, a bunch of lower ribs and most likely the spine wasn’t holding out too greatly either since everything below the middle back was missing a connection. At least there was still movement in the nimble fingers, which was a plus.

After all, that’s what was needed to strum the strings of his old friend, his baby, his acoustic guitar.

Not really quite sure when they had closed in the first place, Noburu willed his eyes to open. Everything was spinning and nothing was really focusing properly, not to mention the blood that was flowing from the forehead straight into the left eye, making it even harder to make out any shapes. Guess he hit his head pretty hard when being bashed to the wall chest first, which would definitely explain the spinning of the world around him as well. Before anything else could happen, the blond realized that he couldn’t hear the boy’s sobbing nor the monster anywhere and it got him worried. Was that kid okay? Did the creature get him? With such worries in mind, words were attempted to be released, resulting in weak coughing fit instead, the warm spatters of blood spilling everywhere. Dang, guess that one lung of his was really busted.

Then there was a familiar sound. Someone was calling out his name.

Confused, the blond tried his best to focus on the voice, soon linking just who it belonged to. How embarrassing was it to be seen like this by a friend who he had grown so close to lately. He had even beaten her in Tekken so many times and now he was literally spitting blood at her feet. That was somehow really ironic to him and the man couldn’t help but smile weakly at that thought. There wouldn’t be any more late night gaming sessions from now on, now would there?

”Aki-chan”, the barely audible nickname sounded out as Noburu spoke through the taste of flooding blood. There was so many things he wanted to talk about right then and there; latest game releases, the newest tune he had come up with in the park, the sweet old lady upstairs from his apartment who had brought him cookies the other day, his friend’s band’s new single… So so many things, yet there was just enough strength left within his dying body to stay conscious and somewhat present. There was no way in hell they would be having any trivial discussions at this point. He had to preserve any energy still residing within to stay here, to not let the pain overwhelm his senses and take him to the afterlife. He couldn’t do that before he knew the fate of the one he tried to save, at least.

”The boy… he okay? And guitar…”

The instrument in question was an afterthought there, the injured man’s brain not really comprehending that he most likely had some pieces of the broken wood lodged within that gaping hole on his middle and the rest were laying all around the place. That thing was his precious, his lifeline during the darkest of hours when he cried out any and all the feelings trying to pull him down. Hell, if he could, he’d happily play out some tunes to dull the pain right now. Could be a banger of a song for sure.

”I saved… Heroic and shit”, was the overly simplified answer eventually given to Akina’s question, followed by yet another cough of blood and a weak smirk, the attempt of looking cool and collected in his final moments showing through. Final moments. This was really it then, was it? The sadness that took over just then was pretty overwhelming, knowledge of losing one’s life at the tender age of 20 being a bit too much to handle. There was so much left undone, so many words unsaid, so many opportunities that would never come to fruition. He’d never see his awesome boss again, even when there was a shift waiting for him tomorrow evening. That woman let him play songs at the bar every Wednesday too so who or what would take up that slot? Would they have no live music on those days at all and just mourn his passing? What a depressing thought that was. Then of course there were his parents. They had finally started to come around to the idea of their son living off of music and art, which took them a long time to wrap their heads around on. A wealthy man like his stepdad wanted more out of his adopted son, but never outwardly expressed it. That said son wanted nothing more than to prove his artistic skill to that man so that both of his parents would show him true acceptance and pride. It really was such a juvenile dream, was it not?

Drip.

First there was a single tear. Then followed another. Both rolling from the corner of the hazel eyes down on the unusually pale cheeks and down onto the bloodied rubble. This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair at all. Face scrunching up as he held down the emotion and bitter tears now free falling, the blond realized something very very important just then.

”Aki... I don’t… wanna die--”

It took her FOREVER to get her fans out of the way, there was something serious going on a ways away, and it sure felt like a damn hollow. "Ah, great. Why over there, guy, couldn't you come any closer?" She was annoyed at the distance, but that's nothing Gikon on this gigai couldn't handle.

Taking a bite of the candy, her soul split from that Gigai. She was free and the substitute was taking care of the autographs now. Definitely a 'not her problem' anymore.

She would get up to one of the rooftops and shunpo the entire way over to where she felt the spiritual pressure. It was a Hollow, as she suspected, another spiritual pressure that was fading… and a smaller one? Looking around, she would find a kid standing there, staring at a wall. Oh…

O H S H I T.

A feeling of dread washed over her. No no no NOPE. That was NOT who she thought that was, it C O U L D NOT be. So this Hollow definitely had to go before she could take care of Nobu. "Hang in there, give me a minute, alright?" Speaking as if he were right there in front of her, and she wasn't on a dang rooftop instead.

She pulled her sword from the sheath and immediately went right to her shikai, saying, "Let's Dance, GARUDA!" Her sword formed a loop, that split into two throwable rings, chakram. Tossable and could manipulate the wind into screeching and howling. With the two in her hands, she tossed them immediately at the Hollow's mask, both of them colliding and splitting it in half. The wind screamed along with it, sounding as angry as she was about what just happened here. Ah, did it hurt. Her heart… that thing, it hurt.

Now she was getting mad at herself, she should have been here sooner if it weren't for that damn gig of hers. This hollow would have been dispatched before he could have run into it… Hindsight. Usually, she left her gigai behind as SOON as she felt a Hollow, and it'd continue on just fine without her.

The hollow formed back into another plus that she needed to Konso. Never mad at the pluses for being the problem. Nah, they were troubled… or someone just took too long, their chain corroded, there were many reasons for hollowification. She would head on down to deliver that plus to the Soul Society.

After that, she needed… to potentially deal with another one. A chill went down her spine as she gulped before walking over to the collapsed concrete where Nobu had fallen. Her eyes were wide, and her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, no way will this stand.

"Nobu…" Akina knelt down next to him and frowned. What was she going to do? Just… watch him die here and then perform a Konso? She was mentally beating herself up over this. Could have been here earlier, no, SHOULD HAVE. "What happened?" Speaking as if there was a moment to even spare in this situation.

[therubyjailcell]

Name shenanigans

So... I need to ramble for a bit, about names and stuffs. You don’t have to read. It’s just a long ass post about me and how I wanna be called lol.

My birthname starts with a V. My parents, my family, they refuse to call me by anything else than my birthname, and they don’t use the correct pronouns. At first, I was okay with it. Then, slowly, oh so slowly, my birthname (I won’t call it deadname. It’s not a deadname, it’s a really pretty name, and I love it. It doesn’t suit me is all.), well, it started making me feel weird. Bad weird. I started not feeling comfortable with my birthname and the pronouns my family used. And when I mentionned it, my parents said “But you’re our daughter for 18 years now. We can’t change the way we talk now.”. It hurt. A lot. I started asking people not to use my birthname anymore at all and use male pronouns in french (I dislike the neutral ones, they sound weird to me, they’re a combination of male and female pronouns), even in front of my parents. My friends agreed.

Now, let’s be clear: I’m genderfluid. I’m non-binary genderfluid, I change gender depending on a fuckton of factors and variables. I’m proud of who I am. The reason I use male pronouns in french (and a few other languages), is basically a choice of aesthetic and sounds.

I’ve watched the videos from Thomas Sanders for a while now. Sometimes I stop and then I catch up, but the point is, I was watching them before the Anxiety character appeared in the Sanders Sides vids. And as soon as he appeared, I could relate to him a lot. If you ask me, I’ll say I’m a fusion between Logic and Anxiety (and I’m not using their names for a reason btw, just you wait). But Anxiety is really close to who I am, me who has so much anxiety issues that I spent a year locked up in my room, barely going out, and who has at least 1 panic attack every week. I loved the character right away, even when he was often depicted as a bad character. Because it was me. And then, Thomas revealed his name, his actual name. Virgil.

Now, let’s look back at my birthname, shall we? It’s an Eastern-European name, doesn’t really exist in my country (apart from the North-East that belonged to the germans at some point, hm), it’s really common in my other country (I’m half french, half german), and it’s a common name in my grandpa’s home country (Hungary). It’s pretty uncommon to hear it, when you can pronounce it properly, you can’t write it properly, and when you can write it properly, you can’t pronounce it properly. It starts with a V, and it is actually close to Virgil, to me.

I immediately became confused. I didn’t know how to feel about the name. It was pretty, sure, but... Did I like it? It reminded me of my birthname. And I was at a moment of my life where I hated my birthname because my parents wouldn’t let me be myself. So. Virgil. I didn’t know how to feel at that point.

Cue to a year or so? After? (Just checked, and yep, around a year after) At the beginning of this school year, new school, new city, new people. A friend of mine (@/morporkianhobbit) gets into the Sanders Sides vids, and talk about it a lot. I watch them all all over again, to remind myself of the details, because my friend tends to ask a bunch of questions about very specific stuffs, and I want to be able to help her understand what she might’ve missed. I met her as I arrived on my first day, we spend hella lot of time together, she’s super supportive, and honestly, going back to an old fandom to have more discussion subject with her is one hell of a good idea. My old rp group gets sort of back together, 3 of the other 5 people who were there before agree to rp with me again. This time I rp a side as well. I look at more famders blogs, meeting new people in the fandom. I stumble into @/sugarglider9603 (I’m not tagging anyone bc I don’t wanna bother people tbh), and I fall in love with her Mario AU. After a while, she and @/galaxy-lilies make the Spiderverse Sides AU. I love it, and I love the Into The Spiderverse movie. I created a bunch of AU the past few months. I enter the Spiderverse discord.

Now, about my name, in the meantime, I’ve learned a bit. I don’t hate my birthname anymore. My family still isn’t supportive of my gender (and my parents still aren’t convinced the ace spectrum exist, but at least I can date whoever I want, as they don’t care wether I like a gender or another, and my own mother tells me she’s pansexual). But my birthname is pretty, I don’t live with my parents most of the time, and I’m meeting new people, people who respect my pronouns and name. As for Anxiety’s actual name, I like it. Virgil is a pretty name, an amazing name, and it doesn’t sound that close to my birthname anymore. It isn’t painful to hear it anymore. I made peace with both this name and my birthname.

On the discord server, we start rpying. I call on Virgil, so I get to rp as him. I cannot remember anyone’s names, to be honest, unless the person repeats it to me several times, and I’m always convinced imma mess up, hence why I give people nicknames. Our Patton starts calling us by the name of the character we rp. I join her in on that. They all call me V or Virge. And I’m okay with it.

I actually like it. I feel like it fits, even.

I talk about it to my best friend (@/hecking-garbage). They say it’s because V refers to “Virgil” and not to my birthname anymore. It does, but that doesn’t explain why I feel like it fits. I ask another of my friend (@/angels-and-dreams), who says (and I quote there) “Maybe you can just call yourself V, with a spelling like Vea or Vee or something like that“ while I see what I’d like to do with my name. I like the idea of being called V or Vee for now, and see how it goes from there. That’s my choice. And I add that “Vee. Huh. I like it. And I could actually ask my teachers to shorten my name to Vee, as  it is the beginning of my birthname, and wouldn't seem as strange as Aky.“, which is true. I decide I can actually go see my formation manager, to ask her if I can change my name in the school papers, so the teacher would gender me properly.

This is what I’m going to do next week. I’m going to ask my teacher to call me Vee, and see how it goes from there.

My name is V. And I like it.

[pyllymursu]

An essay on shame in Ape Escape 3, a character psychoanalysis on Dr. Tomouki

Over a decade has passed and I still love Ape Escape 3 as much as I loved it on the day I finished it, and the most major reason for that is one of the two villains of the game: Dr. Tomouki, a character who is still my most favorite singular character I’ve seen in fiction, and that is for a reason

He is not an often talked about character whenever someone brings up the Ape Escape series, despite being one of the deepest, if not the singular most deep character in the trilogy and the game series - not only because of the lore he offers to the game series as a whole, but the themes of shame and humiliation that are handled in his backstory

Full analysis under the cut - be aware that this will contain spoilers

Before I deep-dive into this character psychoanalysis, let me give you a brief synopsis of the game series, which is info that will come into play later:

Ape Escape is a 3D platformer video game series, that has 3 main games. The main idea of each game is that a group of apes have gotten access to intelligence-enhancing helmets, and are now led by a monkey called Specter, who has a different world-dominating plot depending on the game, and each time a different protagonist must defeat him and his army of primates

In the third installment, two twins, Satoru and Sayaka, with the help of their scientist aunt Aki, must stop Specter once again, but this time with a twist - this time around he has a human ally, and said human is the one and only Dr. Tomouki, whose character and themes we will dissect in this essay

I will use the EU translation of the game as a basis since it is more faithful to the original script, but the US translation of the game does follow a very similar premise

While Tomouki is teased as a new character and a villain in the very first cutscene of the game, he gets a proper introduction in the cutscene that follows after the first boss of the game. He is introduced as an over-the-top narcissist from the get-go, with him telling various info about him (like the fact that he is single, his weigth and heigth including afro, etc), and he is then adorned by roses. All of this is soon interrupted by Aki, and Tomouki is suddenly really humbled and surprised upon meeting her. This will come into play much later

From this cutscene forwards, the game is a fairly standard ride plot-wise, defeating a boss after boss and seeing the two man villains after each defeat with not much new lore to either character. I do want to note the cutscene after the third boss though, where the only dialogue is from Specter since Tomouki is too busy looking at his own reflection, which adds more to his narcissistic nature introduced earlier, and as a side-note, is comedy gold

Then we enter the second last stage in the game, Tomouki City, and if the game was an enjoyable ride this far, this is where things actually get really interesting

First I want to point out the enviromental storytelling in the stage - his previously established narcissism is amplified in his stage with the entire city having named after him, and his face plastered all over. There are posters of his face, there are golden statues all around, most of the catchable monkeys in the stage have afros, there stands an entire freaking tower modeled after him in the middle of the city, to name a few examples. You can almost touch his ego. And as a side-note here, I want to say that his aesthetics are on-point with the gold-purple-white palettes, heavenly-looking enviroments and roses

We get one more glimpse of this when we reach him in his boss chambers, the so-called Den of Splendor, where you can see pastiches of old paintings, but modified in his image. Then we enter his boss fight, where he fights in a mech that - you guessed it - is modeled after his face

After we jam to some Bach Invention 13 and completely obliterate his ass, this is where the real deal begins

After he is defeat, we learn of his background story - he was part of the group that created the series staple monkey helmets to begin with, with said group featuring Aki and a character simply called Professor, who is THE character behind the helmets, and a series staple character who has been featured in each main series game

Tomouki's role in the creation of the helmets was to be a test subject to the helmets, which then lead to an accident where one would be permanently stuck on his head (which we are actually teased in his introduction cutscene, where he flexes with his IQ if 1300) This drastic change in appearance led to him being a subject of ridicule by his peers and everyone around him, leading him to his current villainy

And this here, where the theme of shame and humiliation comes into full play. While on the surface level, the game and the series as a whole is still a very light experience, this moment here adds some surprising depth in a place no-one would expect it, that is a 2006 PS2 platformer aimed at children

So, let's now deep dive into the psychoanalysis here

Everything we have learned of the character falls so far falls into place in this very cutscene - we learn that his ego and narcissism wasn't played simply for laughs, but it is indeed a broken man's way to cope and re-build whatever strips of self-love he has left. We don't know whether he is trying to prove others or himself of his self-worth, so that is up to speculation, but the reason for his narcissistic tendencies is clear

It is not easily distinguished whether or not he is intentionally hilarious in his narcissistic presentation or not, but I can still safely say that if he wants to be hilarious, he wants to be hilarious in his own terms. He (and I'd dare to say, literally everyone else on this planet) doesn't want to be ridiculed by other people by a thing he cannot control, he doesn't want to be ridiculed against his will, which is in this case, is his permanent change in appearance

Speaking of appearance, usually when a character has a physical mark left of their past trauma, it is usually something like having a scar on their face, but even then that is usually integrated as a cool feature in the character's design Tomouki's case here, on the other hand, is like a slap to the face - you, as a player, have to face it, and he, as a character has too. There is nothing cool or aesthetically appealing in his current state of being. Shame is such an universal, such a human emotion (which is fitting coming from a game series that features a human vs primate conflict thorough it), and yet we don't see it handled that much in fiction, except - like I stated before - in this surprising place

After the reveal of the aforementioned lore, he is inviting Satoru and Sayaka to laugh at him like the rest, showing a glimpse of the spirit of a broken man. He tried to fight against fate one more time by joining forces with Specter, but even that attempt was futile, and he now greets defeat one more time.

While Satoru and Sayaka are still processing what is going on, Specter joins the invitation instead, only to be told off by Satoru about it, and upon seeing various people experience this part, their reactions have fallen mostly to these two categories - either to Specter's ridicule, or Satoru's sympathy. Specter then proceeds to put this plan into full action, with the specifics of said plan still being unclear to the main characters and the player. The main characters are now left to wonder how to stop this.

While abrupt, but fitting to the game's pace and narrative, Tomouki now offers to help the children instead After this small, simple act of kindness and sympathy, this man was actually set to the path of healing his faith in humanity, and helps the main characters to Specter's real hideout

From this moment on, he takes a backseat until the defeat of the final boss Again, spoilers ahead:

While Tomouki not present, it is revealed right before the final boss that the villains' plan was to split the earth in two for the two of them to rule each half. This sounds really extra spelled out loud, but is right at home in a game series as silly and insane as Ape Escape. After this, the protagonists point out that not even the apes will have a place to live if Specter decides to proceed with this plan

This bit goes to theory territory, but I am almost 100% sure that Tomouki's real intention with this plan was to indeed to end all of, well, everything. Perhaps partially as an act of revenge, partially of having serious depression (we will get here in a bit) and he somehow convinced Specter of this actually working

Fast forward to post-final boss, Tomouki appears once again before the main characters, advicing them to leave the villain's headquarters and let him stop the aforementioned plan. It is then soon revealed, that in order to stop the plan, the entire place needs to be blown up, with him along with it

But right before that, my previous statement about him having depression comes back into play here - Tomouki states that he has not been this high on life for ages, and while not spelling it out loud, this does heavily imply the character had long ago fell into depression due to the reasons stated above. After this, he thanks the protagonists, hugs his now-introduced robot friend, and ends it all

...Or so I would say, if this wasn't a game with children as its main audience - in the ending credits, it is revealed that he somehow survived all of that, and the last time we see him in the game and the series as a whole is in a photo featuring Satoru, Sayaka, Aki and various other characters from the series. Where he heads in life after this is unknown, but we are given hope that despite this man's past trauma, he now has a new direction in life with his faith in humanity restored

While the character (and the entire game) has maybe 30 minutes worth of cutscenes, there is so much lore and depth squeezed into it, whether intentional or not. While Ape Escape 3 is the only official piece of media Tomouki has appeared in to this day, his character arc in this game is such a neatly tied package, that he doesn't really need anything more, even if I am personally craving for more of that sweet Tomouki content

He goes through an insane character arc in such a short period of time, and all of it unfolds so naturally There is also a lot of lore to be found outside the cutscenes too, with the designs of the Teleborgs, the real-life trends of 2006, things lost in translation and such, but those are something to handle another time

So, TL;DR : Dr. Tomouki Ape Escape 3 is one of the most important if not THE most important in the Ape Escape lore, and he has surprising depth to his character handling very overall unhandled themes like shame and humiliation in an enviroment fairly light on story elements

Or maybe I am just overthinking as a helpless simp. Maybe.

I just think Dr. Tomouki Ape Escape 3 is neat

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl Reboot, EP. 3

Review/Reaction 

alright, we're here for ep 3 reaction and thoughts &

man, i must say, DRAMA.

love it. i'm going to try and make this short but i fail horribly at stuff like that soooo lets see how this will go. i think imma split it into three groups! adults, kids, other random shit.

adults

you know what? i was here for most of them. people talk about zoyas dad bad acting but he was fine in his little scene, i'm happy that he's forcing zoya to take time with obie or whatever. i know people hate her dad and zobie but it was a little nice scene.

i'm really loving julien's dad. i'm glad he can own up and apologize and i get where he was coming from. honestly 10/10 so far, i love the relationship he has with julien and how's he's learning to cope with her becoming an adult and seeing it happen.

fucking love max's dad and the whole family dynamic thing before it went to shit. obvi, the one day is shitty but his other dad, lovely, i love their relationship. parents are winning in this ep.

teachers? JAIL (maybe not rafa but we'll still see). honestly, i'm not hating the teachers being gg, i like that they put gg out there for other private schools so i'm enjoying it but still JAIL. JAIL. JAIL.

our mains

we didn’t get to see much of monet but her little blow up motion at the end was funny and when the chick offered her name, monet said no. queen. and home girl accepted it.

luna was #theebest from her doing the zoya glow up. i think everyone agrees that her holding up the phone is a fan favorite. luna is my best one liner girl. her delivery is on point.

obie, more of obie, i know people don’t like him but he’s an alright character for me. i see potential but we need to flush him out a bit more. i hope to see more of his interactions with aki, give us the friendship. i want him to take what he learns to heart.

zoya, yes girl, pop off. i guess she can when it comes to her passions but not to her. (just be catty once back) i love that she did call luna when it came to the hashtag and she realized who she couldn’t be fairly quickly. i wonder if the play wright is the new friend.

julien! honestly, she really is a queen and i’m loving her pushing back against monet and luna more and more. i also love the scheming and her night out with max. they’re great together and i just wanna see more of it. (all of the friendships) i also love her relationship with her dad. i like that they talk and work things out and while he shouldn’t have lied, i get why and i love that he thought about her so much.

idk how to even to the next few but here we go.

honestly, i found aud and aki funny this episode. their reactions were so alike but so different. the awkward wave and everything. i get that they’re lying to themselves but damn, if they could find a way to spice up their sex life they’d be good. i find them so cute as a couple when they’re all cuddly and just ugh. guys. talk. i will say that after though, when they met in the hall way, i like that once it was out there, aki was straight to the point. honestly, if they broke up...i don’t think it’d be bad, i think they’d be good friends and understanding of each other.

i saw people saying that they didn’t give enough (aki) but max was on his monologue shit and i think they were in two different mindsets. aki didn’t look blank, he looked pissed. and i would be too lowkey, you say you don’t wanna be in the middle of it but then you put yourself, right in the middle. and aside from the kiss, i don’t think aki tried anything more with him unless it comes out that he did. but a few days passed (julien jetting around) so i don’t if they were that thirsty. audrey probs thought that in that moment, she’d really lose aki and that’s what brought her too tears. i think aki already accepted what might happen and was just pissed while audrey, even when she told julien about it, she was disconnected in her head about what she had done.

max was a rollercoaster this episode. from the taking julien out to posting her with the coke to making the plans. it’s was all chaos. i think the moment i felt the worst from aside from the break down? when he didn’t realize the trouble with his parents marriage at the table but we could all see it. that was heart breaking and my dude though, his planning was on ten. making the profile, switching the seats, the hands on the thigh (aki licking his lips) and then his break down and just telling of the truth, exploding, spilling the tea. whatever you wanna call it. it was wonderful and his reasons for doing it, so childish and backfired but you get it. he just wanted the truth out with his parents and it all went to hell. really, heart breaking but amazing for the show and his character development.

my man is still messy though, even without telling the business. like aud and max were in a relationship but those were yo friends my dude. you legit blocked aki from sitting next to his girlfriend, im crying. (messy and he knows it and aki liked his lips. sick.)

now random thoughts that had no real place

audrey’s actress makes these strange faces sometimes...idk...it’s funny to me because i’m wondering why

the scene when max’s dads and rafa met, jesus

would you spell it buffl-ho?

it’s the least you could do

did aki say shenanigans, boy you are a kid 

the moment with max and his dad, still, thinking about and it still cute, all cuddly, idk if the og parents were like this but i love it

since we’re getting mostly reasonable parents i expect the worse ones to pop up soon

the way monet delivered that brad line, it sends

why would he put her doing coke on

aud / aki had reasons to think max would blab because he’s messy

my boy aki flirting with other dudes as rafa

i could see aud asking aki to make out with any boy while she watches, so guys get it together please

how did obie not see aki stops talking and suddenly look at max 

i wonder if someone has tried to take advantage of max because those words hit too hard

those teachers really set home girl up, omg, JAIL. 

aki needs new friends who’ll love his movie drops. he just gets bullied into things, maybe it’s his kink i won’t judge but he couldn’t change by himself, pushed into the bathhouse, the profile, obie won’t let the group chat name stick #stopgettingbullied

aki’s & max’s relationship summed up into one tweet, he really likes this boi, once i’m SICK (click the sentence) 

i haven’t loved all of at school looks but i really liked juliens at the end of the episode

was the music transitions a little jarring to anyone else?

thanks all for now, just my minds ramblings as normal. i could go more in depth about all of this but i’m sure ya’ll are sick of reading it now.

[snowberried]

Akihiko Sanada dating hcs

(A/N: My first post on Tumblr, starting off with best boy! Hopefully this is good enough for a first post!)

- Character: Akihiko Sanada

-- Fandom: Persona (3)

--- Gender: Neutral (A little bit more feminine, but anyone can still read!)

---- Includes 13 seperate lines for if you have a persona.

----- Spoilers: Yes (Pass by if you don't want to see spoilers!)

----------------------------------------------------------

• Akihiko and you probably met at school, same class (or if you're younger) maybe just passing by the halls.

You not being in his fanclub was a relief to him, finally not some weird fangirl, he wished he wasn't bombarded by a group of girls and could be a normal high school student, and you made him feel that way.

He could hang out with you and not feel awkward, could actually do activities with someone not swooning over him (well, not immediately).

When you do actually start dating, I feel like he'd be the one actually confessing it, probably like the p3p confession, he wouldn't exactly do it in the most romantic way.

If you confess, he'd probably pull you straight into a kiss, a gentle one, he has this huge though soft smile on his face.

He looks like a dork.

"Y/N- I've- felt this way around you.. I think it may be love.."

He would probably take you to Hagakure's ramen shop after he gets done training, sometimes even treating you.

This man would treat you right, hang out with you and buy you things. Ultimate ladies's man. Well- that is if he was actually good at flirting.

This man is also horrible at flirting, awful.

"Uh- the sunset is almost as pretty as your- smile-??"

Actually he's pretty cheesy.

Whether that's cute to you or not is your choice.

Finding it funny and joking about it would make him feel comfortable flirting, him liking to see you laugh, he hasn't been able to do that to much people.

Actually thinking it's cute would fluster the heck out of this boxer champion, him? Being cute? You must have the wrong person, right?

Call him cute, he'll essentially break down, well- him trying to hide it.

He wouldn't try to look flustered, you started dating him because of his strength, yeah, most definitely, just look cool.

Although he would be horrible at trying to hide it, stuttering a bit on his words, and just shutting down quiet style, hiding his face subtly.

You tease him about it? Even more flustered. He'd say things like "Shut up Y/n-" or just telling you to stop. (Well, I mean the joking manner.)

You'd only stop when he'd literally offer you food to stop.

So now y'all asses at Wild-duck Burger, Akihiko ready to cough up some money.

If it wasn't obvious, Akihiko likes giving you gifts, his love language would be gift giving... Well if it wasn't for quality time.

He loves spending time with you! Jogging especially, although it doesn't have to be anything active, it could be baking, or knitting for all he cares. Well- maybe not knitting, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd like knitting.

I'm sure one time he took you to train with him.

If you enjoyed it, cool! Something else to do that you both enjoy.

Though I'm guessing you wouldn't, and in that case, he understands, he'd enjoy coming home from training to see you sitting down or laying on the bed, cuddling with you.

"You're always so cold in bed.. do you wait for me or-?"

He'd probably play with your hair a lot, long or short.

You'd probably go to some of his boxing events, and he gets really happy when you do. Secretly trying better to impress you.

He wouldn't flat out say in the ring that he was trying for you, but later in private he probably would, although kinda bluntly.

"I tried to show off for you y'know?"

After all the boxing matches, you'd be the one to patch him up most likely. Your pretty much a makeshift doctor in the comfort of Akihiko's room.

Speaking of Akihiko's room, you two sleep in there most of the time, though you give it your own touch.

There's all the times your boyfriend won boxing matches, and there's one right near the middle of you winning a spelling bee, or the winner of a 2nd grade art contest.

"I think any accomplishment is good enough!"

"Aki I won that 10 years ago!"

Also of course you're allowed to call him Aki, he finds the name cute, the faintest little blush in his cheeks whenever it's said. (he denies it though)

Hope you don't mind the constant smell of protein while sleeping, he most of the time has 2 whole buckets worth of it at all times in the corner of his room.

He offers you some everytime you eat together, saying it's helpful for if you'd wanted to jog afterwards.

declines everytime.

~It is now angst time~ (Final spoiler ahead warning)

You remind him a lot of Mika.

You know about his past, about Mika. You try to comfort him about it when he gets sad over it.

You knew Shinjiro because of Akihiko, you knew they were great friends, they treated each other like brothers.

So obviously, he didn't take his death very well, or at all.

You were the only one to see him cry, he was in his room sad the entire day. You convinced him to open the door, and you immediately hugged him.

He was devastated, and just started crying on your shoulder. He didn't fight them back or anything. You patted his back and brought him to his bed, and laid down with him.

He thanks you so much for that, saying when he gets better he'll make it up to you. If you try to protest, he'll just kiss you and shake his head.

So you'll eventually wore down and accept.

He promises he'll protect you, if it's the last thing he does. He can't lose 3 people.

~If you have a persona~

Obviously you'd join S.E.E.S. and honestly, Aki is all for it, who wouldn't wanna see their partner kick ass?

Just more time to train together?

At Dark Hour you're suddenly woke up by Akihiko every night.

"Aki it's 13 at night-"

"C'mon! Can't we can get a little training in at least-?"

In Tartarus, although not noticable, Aki does try to protect you if you're ever in critical health.

He'll purposefully make Polydeuces keep Dia just in case you may need a heal.

Yukari and Ken wondering why they can't just heal you.

If one of you is sick or tired, the other won't go to Tartarus, simple as that.

You'll stay at the dormitory and help the other get some rest, laying down with the other and singing lullabies to the other.

Akihiko will offer soup, which if Shinjiro is alive, he'll cook

Though if he isn't, Aki will just try to make it instead, it's always better than you'd thought it would be.

"Have a great night Y/N."

----------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I am finished!!! I hope it was alright for my first headcanons.

✿ Have a great day!! *.✧

[princesslocket]

🥣 Made With Love 🥣

Hi hi! Before we get to the fanfic, I'd just like to say a big thank you to @ina11writingexchange for hosting this awesome writers exchange! I'm so glad to have been able to participate for this round as well as being given the opportunity to gift @hachuna yet another gift this year!

With that being said, I hope you enjoy this Hachuna! It was a lot of fun to write ((Btw this fic is also cross-posted on AO3 if anyone is interested in reading it there too! The link is in the title))

If anyone were to ask Endou Natsumi what her favorite pass time activity was, she’d automatically answer with “cooking!” and then excitedly list off all the dishes she had made within the past week. It always amazed her friends just how passionate she was about preparing food in the kitchen.

However, she hadn’t always been a fan of cooking.

Natsumi’s love for cooking had originated during her time spent managing the Raimon soccer team in her middle school years. In the beginning she had been quiet hesitant to even try making a rice ball but after she mastered the art of the rice ball, her love for cooking sparked almost instantaneously. It only took preparing a couple more meals before Natsumi was fully onboard with the idea of preparing food in general. It filled her with a sense of pride whenever she was able to witness the team enjoying the meals she, Haruna, and Aki made for them. The compliments they dished out were a great source of ego boosting as well, but she always made it point to stay humble. And even after the team graduated, leaving her with no one else to cook for, Natsumi continued to search up new recipes to try making for herself in the comfort of her own home.

Over the years her cooking had improved, albeit not as significantly as everyone had hoped for, but just enough to where she no longer mixed up the salt and sugars when she tried baking the occasional birthday cake. It was a subtle yet profound type of improvement that left Endou that much more hopeful for their future meals seeing as he had married her not too long after her cooking had started to improve.

One thing that really helped Natsumi improve in her cooking was through the aid of an old looking cook book she just so happened to borrow from Endou! She’d seen the book several times laying in various places throughout their house but had never bothered to look through it until one day when her curiosity got the better of her and she found herself rejoicing at all the cool looking recipes inside. Oh the joy she felt while flipping through the pages was almost too good. How had she not opened the book sooner?

Following the days upon opening the cook book, Natsumi happily followed the messily written instructions provided by the cook book to prepare dishes that she could only assume had been passed down from Endou’s family. She would later find out from Endou himself that the cook book she had been using was actually Endou Daisuke’s hissatsu manual. The discovery came as quiet a shook to Natsumi seeing as she had been following the instructions of the book for several weeks, even going as far to serving a boy named Matsukaze Tenma some of said dishes as well. But all Endou could do was laugh at the situation they found themselves in.

“You mean to tell me that this really isn’t the kanji for egg?”

“I’m positive, Natsumi. These are the instructions for God Hand- Wait a second! How were even able to mistake this for a cook book? I thought you knew what Daisuke’s hissatsu manual looked like?”

“It’s been a while since I last saw it okay!”

Even after the discovery of the ‘cook book’s’ true nature was revealed Natsumi continued to use it. Admittedly, the food Natsumi made following the hissatsu manual never inherently tasted terribly bad. So what harm was there in letting her continue to use it? As long as Endou was there to assist her with some of the misinterpreted kanji of the book, everything was fine.

Unfortunately, not all good things lasted forever. On one particular day an unforeseen disaster appeared out of nowhere…

Natsumi had been preparing dinner in the kitchen when it happened. She hadn’t thought anything of it at first. Ever since Endou took over as Raimon’s coach, he would occasionally return home late, so why would this time be any different? As the minutes ticked by Natsumi continued to prepare dinner. While she maneuvered around the kitchen she kept herself entertained with the quiet sound of the T.V. playing in the background.

Although she usually paid no mind to what the news anchors were saying, something about that night in particular urged her to listen carefully. She had been cutting away at a bundle of carrots when a certain news report caught her attention. Although they weren’t showing video footage of the incident taking place, the news anchors reported a massive car crash near Raimon.

Upon hearing the name of the school, Natsumi put all food to the side and quickly ran to her phone, dialing up Endou to ask if he was still at the school. Knowing her husband, he would most likely be assisting whoever had been unfortunate enough to get hurt outside of their old school. But when he didn’t answer her first, second, or third call, Natsumi began to worry. The news anchors wouldn’t disclose the names of the people involved in the accident, nor would they show the faces of anyone other than the reporter on duty. They did, however, announce the arrival of special dispatched services on the scene as well as the name of the hospital the heavily injured were being taken to.

After a while Natsumi’s phone began to ring, which she immediately answered. Letting out a sigh of relief, Natsumi pressed the phone to her ear, ready to hear Endou’s cheerful voice. With everything appearing to be taken care of on screen, Endou was surely going to fill her in on everything that had happed. It was a good thing she had prepared so much food for the night!

“Natsumi, it’s Kidou, we don’t have much time- It’s Endou… He got into a car crash and- You need to hurry. An ambulance is already taking him to the hospital but… I’ll fill you in on everything once you get here-“

“I’m on the way.”

Within seconds Natsumi was already racing out of the house, dinner abandoned in the kitchen and T.V still playing quietly in the background. She did everything in her power to get to the hospital as fast as she could but it was too late. By the time she came rushing in through the hospital doors, Endou had been pronounced dead.

Time flashed by in a blur following Endou’s death. His funeral came and went, the days following blended together a little too seamlessly and Natsumi’s love for cooking diminished along with her once cheery life. Without Endou around, she no longer held the motivation to prepare any kind of meal in or out of the kitchen. Even when Haruna, Aki, and Fuyuka tried to rekindle their little cooking arties, Natsumi couldn’t bring herself to make anything. Everything she had ever made was out of her love for Endou.

As time went by, Natsumi slowly began to store her cooking utensils away. If she wasn’t going to be cooking anymore, than why bother keep them out in the open to collect dust?

She was in the middle of labeling a soon to be packed away box of kitchen ladles one day when the sound of knocking stopped her. Setting her marker to the side, Natsumi walked to the front door. Her knees nearly buckled when she gazed out the peep hole to see who was outside.

Standing just outside the door was Endou… But it couldn’t be him, right? He had passed away months ago. She had gone to his funeral and everything! There was no way her could possibly be standing outside. As she was thinking these thoughts an almost indescribable feeling washed over her. Suddenly she couldn’t remember attending a funeral nor could she remember why she had started packing away all her cooking supplies. It was as if she was just now waking up from some type of horrible nightmare, a nightmare had clouded over her real life for the past several months.

Whatever nightmare she been under was finally over. Any trace of sadness and despair melted away the longer she stared at Endou. Instead, the feelings were replaced with joy and relief. Although the sudden change in feelings were a little unexpected, they weren’t unwelcomed. In fact she was all the happier to embrace them!

Not wanting to keep Endou waiting any longer, Natsumi decidedly threw the door open, startling Endou as it swung to the side, and proceeded to jumping into the arms of the man in front of her.

“Mamoru!” Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she pressed herself as tightly as she could to her husband. “I can’t explain it but it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever! Where have you been all day?”

“Woah! I missed you too! Oh man, Natsumi, you wouldn’t believe all the crazy things that happened to me ‘today.’ I’ve got so much to tell you but, uh, I think it’d be best if we went inside first.” Contradictory to his own words, Endou hugged Natsumi even closer to himself, thus rendering any attempt to head into the house useless.

For several long minutes the two stood outside their house, hugging each other, and exchanging a few words before wither one of them made any real attempts to pull away. But when they did, it was Natsumi who moved away. She waisted no time in dragging Endou inside and towards their dining room table, pulling out a chair for him to sit in and then rushing off towards their refrigerator in search of something for them to eat.

Strangely enough, the refrigerator was once again filled with an abundance of food Natsumi had almost no recollection of buying. She glanced a look to Endou, who at first made no comment, but as soon as she turned her back had heard the faintest of words from him.

“I guess time really did reset itself.”

From that day on life returned to normal, or as normal as it could be with Natsumi knowing her ‘nightmare’ had in fact been real but was now a part of a separate timeline of sorts. But seeing as their current timeline was restored, Natsumi decidedly let her supposed bad months drift away.

She started cooking again, only this time she followed tutorials online through YouTube and an odd app called TikTok. When Endou asked why she was following so many different cooking videos, Natsumi would claim that “the hissatsu manual could only offer so much.”

Despite her best efforts her cooking still left much to be desired from. But Endou never truly cared about the overall outcome of the food he’d be offered.

“It’s the thought counts.” He’d tell himself whenever a dish was placed in front of him. “If it’s for Natsumi, I’d gladly eat a thousand more meals of her cooking- I’d do anything to make her happy.”

[underkita-archive]

giving him milk candy

a/n: not me writin hcs bc ive been eatin too much milk candy lmao,,,also i rlly just love the kitaiichi trio,,,

warnings: prolly bad words

summary: you share milk candy w him feat. kageyama, kunimi + kindaichi

it’s after he loses the tournament w kitigawa daiichi

you see him sitting on a park bench clutching onto a volleyball, shoulders shaking slightly

you recognize him from the hallways and for a second you think about leaving him alone since he isn’t known to be one of the nicest guys

you cant help but approach bc despite the lowkey scary energy around him there’s something about him that screams he’s hurting

“are you okay?”

“go away”

“fine then”

instead of letting his words and harsh tone of voice drive you away, you decide to sit by him on the bench, making sure there’s a comfortable space between you two. you start to dig through your bag noticing his eyes sliding over towards you. you manage to find a piece of milk candy at the bottom of your bag and hold it out to him. he looks between you and the piece of candy for a moment, clearly unsure on whether or not to trust you.

“it’s just milk candy, and i’m not trying to poison you or anything. i mean we are in the middle of a public park.” your words seem to sway him and he snatches the candy from your hand, quickly unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. you watch with a grin as his eyes light up as he sucks on the candy.

“why did you stay?” he finally asks.

“dunno, i guess it’s cause you didn’t really look like you wanted to be alone.” you shrug and shoot him another smile.

“oh…can i. get another?” you bark out a laugh and hand him another piece of candy, unsure of how he was able to finish of the first piece so quickly. the two of you sit there for awhile longer before you finally exchange names and numbers.

“thanks y/n-san, i um. i hope to see you again.” he bows awkwardly before spinning on his heel and running off.

you’re 7 yrs old and climbing trees together

well you’re climbing trees while kunimi watches you carefully, preparing for the inevitable fall

he keeps telling you to get down before you tip over and fall

you’re only response is to stick your tongue at him which he only reciprocates

after a few minutes of ignoring kunimi’s pleas you finally decide it’s time to climb back down, trying to stay carefully navigate your way back down. just as you’re about to teach the bottom you turn to look at him and stick your tongue back out.

“see aki! i didn’t fall i-” okay so maybe you spoke too soon because suddenyly you’re tumbling down but instead of hitting the ground you fall right into kunimi who really had just been waiting for that moment. you two land with a soft thud, thankful for the thick grass.

“dummy.” he grumbles before pushing you off of him.

“sorry aki,” you flush, he shakes his head and you offer him a sheepish grin. he stands up and brushes his pants off before offering his hand to you.

“don’t fall again.” he mutters and you nod your head, sticking your hand in your pocket and producing a milk candy. you unwrap and hold it in front of his mouth.

“say ahhh,” he scrunches his nose slightly before he lets his jaw drop so you can pop the candy into his mouth. you unwrap your own piece and pop it in, grinning at him, you take his hand pull roughly, “c’mon aki let’s go on the swings!”

during your second year you get assigned to tutor him in english

and he is just a mess bc if he doesn’t pass he’s gonna have to do remedial lessons for a week

which means no volleyball practice for a week and that’s a fat no no for him

he’s just gotten the same worksheet all wrong for the third time and the poor soul looks like he’s gonna scream his lungs out

“kindaichi-kun,” you try to keep your voice as gentle as possible, “you should try questions 3 and 4 again.”

“whuh.” he looks at you in utter despair before looking back down at the worksheet in front of him. you watch quietly as the different emotions fly across his face, frustration, sadness, anger and you can’t help but feel bad for the boy.

“maybe we should take a break.” you try to push the worksheet away from him but he shakes his head and starts furiously erasing away. he rips the edge of the paper and frowns slamming his head down onto the table.

“give up on me y/n give up now. i’m a lost cause.” you chew at your bottom lip trying to find the words to get him out of this rut. you open your school bag and start looking for the candy you had bought the other day.

“you’re not a lost cause. you’re just tired and now you’re frustrated. seriously, take a break,” you pull out the small red bag and shake it over the table,a few pieces landing quietly on the table. you push a couple towards the distraught boy and watch as his head slowly rises eyeing the candy. with a sigh he grabs a few and unwraps them, throwing them into his mouth.

“these are too sweet,” he grumbles, “still good though.”

“tch, maybe you shouldn’t have eaten more than one,” you laugh as his cheeks pink slightly. just as he’s about to apologize you knock his shoulder with yours and pull out your laptop, “let’s watch something you choose.”

“are volleyball game highlights okay?”

“fine with me.”

[pudding-head-kenma]

Wear Your Name Proudly [ Konoha x Reader ]

Request: Fluff with Konohaaaaaaaa we all need it(I feel like u probably know who this is now lmao)

A/N: number 1. i’m too stupid to know who this is 👉👈🥺. number 2.... i guess this could be taken as angst?? but there’s cuddling, mutual trust and taking care of a loved one, and i consider that fluff 👉👈

You knock on the door for the third time in the last few minutes. For the first time, you hear ruffling inside, and slow footsteps approach you.

You and your boyfriend had planned to hang out today after his practise was over, since they were – for once – going to leave early, meaning you could use the rest of your free evening to have a date. He hadn’t texted you by the time practise was meant to be over, but you paid no mind to it, instead deciding to head to his house.

After the first knock, you figured he just wasn’t home. It wasn’t unlikely that they would stay just a little bit longer at the gym if they were finishing a practise match, so you decided to take out your phone and call him.

You heard buzzing inside.

Okay, that’s weird... So you knock again. By the second knock, you wonder if perhaps he left his phone at home, so you decide to text Bokuto and ask if they’re going to take long. He seems confused by your text, and lets you know that practise ended a while ago. You ask if perhaps Konoha had decided to practise a little more, and he tells you he went home before everyone else.

Okay, that’s weird.

Now you’re worried. If he’s home, why isn’t he answering the door? Or his phone? Did something bad happen to him, is he hurt?

Your third knock is a little more assertive, and you have your phone on your hand, ready to call someone if he doesn’t reply this time.

But you heard the ruffling and footsteps, and you immediately relax. He’s okay.

Well... him being okay is arguable. He’s alive, anyway.

“Aki?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re barely even sure why you’re calling out for him, unable to think of a single thing to say.

He looks exhausted.  His hair is ruffled in every possible direction, and you take note of how his eyes are slightly puffier than usual, his nose a little red. He looks... cold, emotionless. The entire house is dark, all blinds and windows closed even though it’s the middle of the day. At first, you wonder if he’s sick. Maybe he caught a cold and tried to go to practise but ended up overworking himself and decided to come home. However, you can see it in his eyes – he’s just going through a bad time.

There are times Konoha gets like this. Despite being a little sarcastic and even provocative with his team, which gives off the impression that he’s always a little mischievous and seldom sad, he tends to hide his pain away most of the time. This results in him exploding at random times, engulfed and overwhelmed by his own worries. By default, he doesn’t call anyone. He deals with it alone, and he’s back to being himself the next day.

It has been a while since the last time you saw him like this. You faintly remember it being about a particular game they lost that really took a toll on them, and he kept ranting about how Bokuto had gotten into one of his  moods at the worst possible time – he’s clearly very frustrated about that particular subject, as you’ve come to learn. He loves the guy to death, but it leaves him anxious to know their ace (not to mention captain) could just break at any time during a game when he’s meant to be the rock of the team.

Immediately recognising his mood, you drop your bag and wrap your arms around him, bringing him into a tight hug. He barely moves at all, letting his arms hang by his sides for a few seconds before moving them up hesitantly, wrapping them loosely around your waist. He probably tired himself out crying, and you’re not sure if it’s frustration, anger, or sadness, but it doesn’t matter. You know you need to take care of him today.

The first thing you do is take him to his room. He’s attached to you, but he’s not exactly dead weight. He’s mostly clinging to you desperately, like you’re the only thing currently keeping him together. All things considered, that’s probably not far from the truth, given the current situation. You make sure he lies down on his bed comfortably, pressing a kiss to his forehead in promise of being back soon before heading to the kitchen to brew some tea for him. It helps calm him down to talk over things over a warm beverage, you know that now.

A few minutes later, you’re able to help him sit down just enough for him to take the mug, and he immediately seems to relax from the shift in atmosphere – he doesn’t feel good, you can tell that much, but he seems a little calmer now that he has company.

“I’m sorry.” It pains you that those are the first words to leave him a few moments later – he has nothing to apologise about, and it frustrates you that he would feel the need to.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Aki. I’m here for you, you know that.”

“I ruined our chance to have a date. We probably won’t get any free time for a while.” He has pretty much ignored your reassurance – he doesn’t do it on purpose, he’s just focused on other things, lost in his own head.

You reach forward and gently cup his cheeks, making him lift up his gaze. When he gets into these moods, it’s not rare for him to be looking away, lost in thought while glancing at the floor, zoning out while focusing on a pillow. So you know that you need to snap him out of him from time to time, bring his attention back to you, back to reality.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. We can have more dates in the future, it’s not important. Your well being is more important to me. Right now, and always.” You explain again, this time a little slower, making sure you don’t break eye contact. He needs to hear it, and you need to say it – not because he needs it, but because you mean it.

He freezes for a few seconds, overwhelmed with emotion once again. So used to taking care of his team, it’s likely that he forgets to take care of himself. To have someone else, someone he cares about, do it for him must feel like a dream. He relaxes into your touch, and his eyes close as he takes a sip from the tea, before he’s able to mutter out something again.

“I’m tired of being seen as the weak member of the team.”

This shocks you. You’ve seen their practise multiple times, and not once did you ever think he was the weak member at all. In fact, you can’t think of a single person who would be able to think that; in fact, he’s probably one of the strongest members, even with the whole team being very powerful in general.

“What are you talking about?”

“Everyone thinks I’m weak.”

For a second, you think he’s just exaggerating – not that it would invalidate his feelings, but when we’re stressed we tend to think others think badly of us. However, the way he speaks... He talks like it’s something he has come to accept a while ago, not only during this stressful breakdown. It sounds like he has been told that before, and it makes you feel uneasy. Was the team perhaps being unfair to him? You couldn’t imagine such a thing, but...

You don’t have much time to wonder before he speaks up again.

“I don’t know, I think- I thought I was pretty good, but they just don’t agree. I’m tired of that stupid nickname. I get it, I’m not fucking perfect at anything, I’m not a perfect setter like Akaashi nor a perfect spiker like Bokuto, but I’m trying. I’m really, really trying Y/N.”

It clicks.

You know exactly what he’s talking about. Through the years, the team had given him a nickname – you can’t remember exactly, but it’s something along the lines of ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’.  Like that popular saying. You believe it happened overtime, as he consistently showed his ability to take on any position just fine, even subbing in for Akaashi once when the time called for it. You know the team doesn’t mean any harm, but you never thought about how much it affects Konoha himself.

“I get that I can’t be the best at any of the positions, and I get that it’s ridiculous. I can’t just be a very good setter, a very good spiker, a very good libero, I can’t be a very good anything. I’m just average in all of the options. But why do they have to keep reminding me of that? I get it, I set the ball when Akaashi couldn’t reach today, but why do they need to remind me that it doesn’t work for me?” He’s getting more agitated as he speaks, likely as he recalls the events of today’s practise. You stay quiet, allowing him to vent, to let go of what’s bothering him.

“ ‘Ah, Jack strikes again!’ I’m sick of it. Why do they have to word it like that? I get it, I’m going out of my way, and I’m not even that good at what I do originally, but just- why? Why do you have to keep telling me that?”  He seems to be done talking. He brings his hands up to his hair, roughly tugging at it before covering his face, the tea long forgotten on the table next to him.

You understand. You never thought about it before, but you definitely understand. So, setting your tea down as well, you gently shove his shoulder. He’s pliant under your touch, trusting, expecting you to know how to help him, believing you can help him. You lie him down again and climb on the bed behind him, attaching yourself to his back immediately. He relaxes, melting into the warmth you bring, and his breath starts getting regular again.

“I think you’re misunderstanding. It’s not an insult at all, Aki.” He tenses up, but doesn’t speak. He’s willing to listen, even if he’s already objecting and formulating other possibilities in his head, other ways it has been used as an insult. You don’t give him the time to go into detail, speaking up once more in a gentle voice.

“Granted, it’s a nickname that bothers you, and that’s something worth bringing up with them. However, I’m sure everyone means it in the most flattering way possible. You know that saying continues, right?” That seems to peak his interest, because he’s shoving you away gently, only enough for him to turn around and face you. True to his name, any cuddling position works just fine for him, but he does have a preference for the ones he can see you.

You bring him in closer, allowing him to rest his head on your chest. You’re taking care of him today, and you want to show it through actions just as much as words.

“Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one. That’s how the saying goes. It’s a compliment. You’re a generalist more than a specialist, meaning you’re better at resolving issues than someone who’s very good in a specific department. You’re versatile and able to think on the spot, instead of being stuck to your element.”

He seems to tense up a little at that as well, but this time it’s different. It’s not a pained tensing up, not a worried or anxious one, but more of a realisation. He realises that it could be interpreted like that as well, and fears he might have let his insecurities get the better of him. His grip around you tightens, and you wrap your arms even harder around him, a quiet promise that you’re protecting him.

“Do you know why you have such a good team, with such amazing specialist players? Because you’re there. If you’re there, they can focus on getting better and better on their own position, knowing they always have you. You always have everyone’s backs, Aki. You have Bokuto’s back when he’s being blocked, you have Akaashi’s back when he had to touch the ball first during a receive, and you have everyone’s back when Bokuto goes crazy and they need to depend on you to score. It’s because they have such an amazing generalist on their team that they can focus on being specialists. You’re their most important player. You keep the team together.”

By now, you can tell he’s crying. You don’t think you’ve really said all that much, but it must be very important for him to hear this. He has likely been doubting himself for quite some time, so it must be reassuring to be praised. It must be hard; Konoha is extremely into volleyball, and sometimes he gets really competitive. If he thought that nickname was used as an insult to tell him he wasn’t as good as the others on the team who excel at what they do, it must have really hurt him. You wish he had brought this up with you sooner.

No other words are exchanged between the two of you about the topic; you keep him close to you, gently combing through his hair in hopes of calming down his sobs, which now have gotten louder. He’s letting them pour out, and it’s for the best – his frustrations, his shame, his anger, they’re all pouring out with them, being instead replaced by confidence, understanding, and pride. He should wear the nickname proudly, because that’s the only way his team would ever mean it. He knows it, of course, knows they would never insult him in such a way, but sometimes he can get too much into his own head.

That’s where you come in. Your gentle touches and kind words are a silent promise of help, of compromise to him, to always be with him and help him through this. In the same way he helps you through your own issues.

At the end of the day, you two have each other, and will always have each other.

So you remain quiet, basking in each other’s presence, lucky to be together. Lucky to be able to count on one another, thankful for the time you’re allowed to spend by the other’s side, grateful for the wonderful memories you’re able to create.

And another day goes by, and you both end up sleeping the problems away.

When Konoha shows up confident the next day, now laughing along at the mentions of the nickname, nobody seems to notice.

But as you sit and watch them practise, you know. He has changed again, grown to accept himself even a little more, and you were there to see it.

And you sit there, hoping you’ll get to see it again.

[macbetha]

So very excited to share this! It’s a playlist for my upcoming Free! fic, This Heart of Mine, the rewritten sequel to Eyes Wide Open All the Time. You can listen to the playlist on YouTube; this list simply helps define who or what a song represents to me. This list also includes some lyrics that you may want to pay special attention to. I recommend reading the lyrics by themselves before listening to the playlist. Mind you - some of these lyrics only act as symbolism. Some mean more. Some songs have connections. Some don’t. ;) *go girl give us nothing* List below! 

 THIS HEART OF MINE: PLAYLIST GUIDE 

Theme: Bring Me The Horizon feat. Halsey - In The Dark (MTLT / amo version) Oh so tall, it broke the fourth wall Guess our fairytale had a few plot holes Don’t you know you’ve lost control ↳ Honorable Mentions: ✧ grandson - Bury Me Facedown When I go into the ground I won’t go quietly I’m bringing my crown I won’t get tired Set the town on fire Thinking that they’ve won It’s only just begun  ✧ Lorde - Everybody Wants to Rule the World ✧ Ry X - YaYaYa ✧ Rihanna - Goodnight Gotham

CHARACTERS

✦ Haruka ✧ WDL - Monster vs Angel Got my own monster Nobody but me  Got my own angel  I would never call him enemy He’s the good god I need  But both of the sides Fight for me  ✧ Mumford and Sons - Broken Crown I’ll never be your chosen one In this twilight  How dare you speak of grace But in this twilight Our choices seal our fate I’ll crawl on my belly till the sun goes down I’ll never wear your broken crown  ✧ Lia Marie Johnson - DNA Dark as midnight 6 Pack Coors Light You don’t look the same Past my bedtime Blue and red lights come take you away I won’t be like you Fighting back, I’m fighting back the truth Eyes like yours Can’t look away But you can’t stop DNA 

✧ Cat Power - Sea of Love Come with me, my love To the sea, the sea of love ✧ Al Green - Love and Happiness (side note: this if my favorite song of all time) Love and happiness Something that can make you do wrong And make you do right 

✦ Makoto ✧ The Oh Hellos - Soldier, Poet, King There will come a soldier Who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down Oh ley, oh lei, oh lord ✧ Labrynth - Still Don’t Know My Name I took your heart I did things to you only lovers would only do in the dark I made you a god Priests, popes and preachers would tell me I did wrong ✧ The Civil Wars - Devil’s Backbone Don’t care if he’s guilty Don’t care if he’s not He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I got Oh lord, I’m begging you, please Don’t take that sinner from me  ✧ Sleeping At Last - Make You Feel My Love (Cover) I could make you happy Make your dreams come true There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do Go to ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love  ✦ Sousuke ✧ Angel Haze - Detox You dance in a cage with some rats in it I’m about chemistry, you just react to me God might turn us to ash, baby I might just taste your last stars tonight  We were gods in a world that did nothing but doubt us But fuck it, I got us, from the dirt with the flowers Put in work in the shower ✧ Kaleo - No Good  You better start runnin’ When you hear the man coming It won’t do you no good Kiss your baby goodbye Come on love, it’s all right Heaven knows they wanna break you apart  ✧ The Oh Hellos - The Lament of Eustice Scrubb Brother, forgive me We both know I’m the one to blame When I touched the water They told me I could be set free ✦ Rin ✧ Halsey - Young God (Lullaby / Music Box Intro, Live from Webster Hall) Running, running, running And we’ll be running, running, running again ✧ SZA - Good Days Tell me I’m not my fears, my limitations I’ll disappear I gotta keep from losing the rest of me Chasing a fountain of youth that’s in the present I’ll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, I still believe in good days ✧ Lola Blanc - Angry Too Does it get your blood boiling? Does it make you see red? Cause it gets my blood boiling It would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew I don’t wanna drink the venom they made me I don’t wanna be controlled by the past But boy, if you were me Could you really blame me?  ✧ Kendrick Lamar - u And if this bottle could talk: I cry myself to sleep, everything is your fault Because you shook as you knew confinement was needed I know your secrets Don’t let me tell them to world  About the shit you thinking  And the time that you - I’m ‘bout to hurl  I’m fucked up But I ain’t as fucked up as you ✧ Halsey - More Wooden floors, little feet Flower bud, concrete A little screen, a photograph Mine to take I still believe it won’t be like before I’ve loved you for all of my life ✦ Nao ✧ Johnny Hollow - Worse Things Anger grew like ecstasy And Leda threw the swan on me There are worse things, perverse things You should answer when the phone rings There are worse things I could do ✧ Young Heretics - Bones of a Rabbit You play with wolves But you sleep with the bones of the rabbit  You have conquered cities And torched the mighty sea You may keep yourself afloat But you cannot outswim me  ✧ Phantogram - Black Out Days (Future Islands Remix) Hide the sun  I will keep your face out of my mind  I’m hearing voices all the time And they’re not mine  Haunting my mind ✦ Natsuya ✧ Gang of Youths - Achilles, Come Down Remember your virtue  Redemption lies plainly in the truth Where you go, I’m going When you jump, I’m jumping There is no me without you  Today of all days See how the most dangerous thing is love ✧ Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love The stars, the moon They have all been blown out You left me in the dark ✦ Ikuya ✧ Penelope Scott - Cigarette Ahegao So like, I guess I call it the sophomore slump Always crying and always drunk A few dead, more gone, the rest well on their way Thanks! I hate it Everyone that I love is stuck Because this, that, the other, and the state fucked up We covered it in a class that I’m about to fail  ✧ 100 gecs, Laura Les, Dylan Brady - Money Machine Tell me what's the deal, I've been trying to go to bed I've been up for days, I've been trying to get ahead Said it all before, and I'll say it once again I'm better off alone ✧ Halsey - Clementine  Through a breakdown or a blackout Would you make out with me Cause I don’t need anyone I just need everyone and then some ✦ Hiyori ✧ Florence + The Machine - Seven Devils Holy water cannot help you now A thousand armies couldn’t keep me out I don’t want your money I don’t want your crown See I’ve come to burn your kingdom down ✧ Michael Buble - Feeling Good (Cover) It’s a new life for me This old world is a new world And a bold world for me Freedom is mine And I know how I feel I’m feeling good ✦ Asahi ✧ Sam Henshaw - Broke If I wasn’t broke Would you spend more time with me Like you said you’d do Tell me what I’m supposed to do Cause the only thing I need Is to be loved by you  ✧ Mikky Ekko - Smile Smile, the worst is yet to come We’ll be lucky if we ever see the sun ✦ Aki ✧ Aly & AJ - Church I did bad things, can’t you see it on my face? I get caught in every lie I need redemption for sins I can’t mention For all the things I can’t reverse For all the places where it hurts ✧ ZZ Ward - Ghost Here the devil call out my name I’ve broken promises, burning flame God knows, darling God knows I gave Now the truth cuts like a knife ✦ Nii ✧ Of Mice and Men - My Understandings  Keep in mind that I’m a sore eye With blurry vision  ✧ Neoni - Outlaw They say that I’m wanted Hear the whispers in the street You better start running Cause nothing scares me  Faster, faster You’re the one I’m after  You built a fortress But I’ll never kiss the ring I’m my own king

✦ Gou ✧ Melanie Martinez - Lunchbox Friends We can be friends if you wanna be But only till the clock hits three I don’t want no lunchbox friends, no I want someone that binds the ends, no Come to my house, let’s die together Friendship that will last forever ✧ Maroon 5 - Come to the Water Come away little light Come away to the darkness Away from the life that you always knew Come away little lamb Come away to the water To the arms that are waiting only for you ✦ Isuzu ✧ Jessie Reyez - NO ONE’S IN THE ROOM  Spent my whole life being graded, being told I’m not enough Being told go find the one and sit and wait for death to come I don’t want to I need to talk to God There’s things I just don’t understand Like who am I when no one’s in the room EMI - Bad Friends Yeah, I got some bad friends No you cannot have them If you wanna talk to them  You talk to me, yeah We don’t fuck around with just anybody, yeah

✦ Takuya ✧ Imagine Dragons - Ready, Aim, Fire Off in the distance, there is resistance Bubbling up and festering Here in the casing Shaking and pacing This is the tunnel’s light Blood in the writing, stuck in the fighting Look through the rifle’s sight ✧ Billie Eilish - you should see me in a crown (acapella) Bite my tongue Bide my time Wait till the world is mine, ocean eyes Count my cards Watch them fall  Blood on a marble wall You should see me in a crown I’m gonna run this nothing town Watch me make ‘em bow One by one ✦ Kinjou ✧ Urban Country - Knife and Stone Tell me, have you ever seen a mirror Mirror in the middle of the forest Just waiting for the rain or the crown I’ve been up for thirty days Someone point to lost and found Ain’t no blood in the temple Just a knife and stone

✦ Mikhail ✧ Elsie Lovelock - Friends on the Other Side (Cover) The cards, the cards The cards will tell The past, the present, and the future as well I got voodoo, I got hoodoo I got things I ain’t even tried And I got friends on the other side I hope you’re satisfied, but if you ain’t Don’t blame me You can blame my friends on the other side ✦ Ryuuji ✧ elbow - Grounds for Divorce I’ve been working on a cocktail Called Grounds for Divorce Down comes him on sticks but then he kicks like a horse There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall ✧ Mumford and Sons - The Enemy I am not the enemy It isn’t me, the enemy I came and I was nothing So why did you choose to lean on A man you knew was falling? ✦ Nadia ✧ Halsey - Castle (Orchestral Version) They wanna make me their queen  There’s an old man  Sitting on the throne  Saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut I’m headed straight for the castle

THEMES: GROUPS

✦ FREEBIRD ✧ Kaleo - Way Down We Go Oh father, tell me Do we get what we deserve They will run you down Down till you fall They will run you down Down till you crawl Till you can’t crawl no more And way down we go ✦ ROUGH RABBIT ✧  Imagine Dragons - Who We Are Up on the mountain Down in the king's den  It's who we are Doesn't matter if we've gone too far Doesn't matter if it's not okay Doesn't matter if it's not our day ✦ DIAMONDBACK ✧ Florence + The Machine - Bedroom Hymns This is good a place to fall as any We’ll build our alter here  In the wine, the women, the bedroom hymns Such selfish prayers, I can’t get enough I’m not here looking for absolution Because I’ve found myself an old solution

✦ HONEYBLADE ✧ Megan Thee Stallion and Normani - Diamonds I love me this much My pear-shape all dripped up He want me to be a little more lady-like? Come through with my girls and beat your ass on ladies night ✦ BLOODHOUNDS ✧ Angel Haze - The Wolves Nothing left out there for me  I left my fucking heart out at the sea This shit sounds like the danger zone  I’m the big bad wolf  Gonna take the throne 

THEMES: PAIRINGS 

✦ Makoto + Haruka ✧ Phoebe Bridgers - Smoke Signals One of your eyes is always half shut Something happened when you were a kid I didn’t know you then and I’ll never understand why It feels like I did ✧ Radical Face - Welcome Home Peel the scars from off my back I don’t need them anymore I’ve come home ✧ The Track Team - Heart Chakra ✧ Blackmill - Redemption ✦ Sousuke + Rin ✧ Kaleo - Bang Bang (Cover) Seasons came and changed the times I grew up, I called him mine He would always laugh and say: “Remember how we used to play? Bang, bang.” ✧ Zayn - Good Guy I’m not a good guy But I know you’re mine (bang) I know you’re mine (bang, bang) ✧ L'Orchestra Cinématique - Crazy In Love (Instrumental Cover)

✦ Natsuya + Nao ✧ Cosmo Sheldrake - The Moss But have you heard the story Of the rabbit in the moon? Halsey - Colors Your little brother never tells you But he loves you so I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old 

✦ Hiyori + Ikuya ✧ Elvis Drew - Where Are You  I been trying to figure out where you from Is it the moon? Is it earth? Is it this place, where nothing is worse?  Nothing can compare to the life we had My dear just grab my hand and let me take you To my wonderland ✧ Swae Lee - Sunflower Some things you just can’t refuse I’m not tryna lose

✦ Isuzu + Gou ✧ Snow Patrol - The Golden Floor I’m a peasant in your princess arms Penniless with only charm

[dancingdimitri]

Well, it’s officially been a year. On March 23, 2020, I unboxed the secondhand Switch we had obtained by some incredible stroke of luck, solely for the purpose of playing Fire Emblem Three Houses, and started my first ever playthrough--Blue Lions route, of course--which I affectionately dubbed “Dimitripocalypse.” I chose this name because immediately prior to actually playing the game, I was aware of several facts:

- I was somehow already in love with Dimitri. - The Blue Lions story was both 1) centered on Dimitri, and 2) tragic. - I do not handle tragedies well.

(spoilers following, obviously. And lots of introspection.)

I knew about Three Houses since its release, but waited until many months later to actually play it for a few reasons: we (“we” meaning myself and my twin, Aki) didn’t yet possess a Switch; getting our hands on a system, plus the game, was an investment of several hundred dollars; there were no Switch games other than Three Houses we had significant interest in playing at the time, and besides, we were already plenty occupied with Fire Emblem Fates and the multitude of older games keeping us entertained on our outdated handheld systems. Our original plan was to buy a Switch for our birthday in May of the year following the release of Three Houses. Once the news of an impending lockdown started to spread, though, it became apparent that if we were going to get a Switch any time in the foreseeable future, that time was now. Our in-person shopping was mostly fruitless--no Switch, but we got our copy of the game while we were out (we like our physical copies)--but by some miracle we managed to find a previously used system for sale online: in retrospect, probably one of the last ones to be sold for a very long time after that.

By restraining myself from actively seeking out fanmade content, I managed to avoid significant spoilers for Three Houses. Inevitably, though, as months passed after the game’s release, I absorbed tidbits of knowledge that happened to roll by on my social media feed. I probably learned about the general concept and organization of the game (for example, obviously, the fact that there were three houses; more specifically, that it was a tragic story, and there was a timeskip somewhere in the middle), and the names of a few characters, but my recollections of my initial phases of information osmosis are fuzzy at best by now. My earliest memory of having a cohesive thought about anything in the game was sometime around September of 2019, when I happened upon Dimitri’s post-timeskip portrait. Immediately upon setting eyes on it, my heart went: He’s the one.

I still haven’t figured out what my heart does or how it works in such tight coordination with my eyeballs, but I have this tendency to abruptly fixate on one character in a given series, thereby selecting my single, immutable favorite character for that series. Yet, even as I subconsciously judge these characters based purely on appearance, when you also factor in aspects like personality and backstory, which I inevitably learn later, I somehow manage to also have a very consistent and predictable “type.” This was exactly what happened with Dimitri. Granted, it took me until February 2020 to form a significant emotional attachment to him, to the point where I was thinking about him constantly, but I never doubted from the beginning that it was Dimitri who would be the source of my “brainrot.”

I always wonder how things might have been different if I didn’t know about Dimitri beforehand: would I still have picked the Blue Lions house, solely because blue is my favorite color? Would Dimitri still have drawn me in through his many characteristic charms? Or would I have picked a different route, a different favorite character? How many things would be the same as they are today? But then I remember one of my favorite passages from what has been my favorite manga since my adolescence: [There’s] no point in thinking about the things I could have done, because there’s no guarantee that any choice is the right one. Alas, the timeline that exists right now is the only one that I know for certain, so it’s the only one I can discuss at length.

Sometime in the months that passed between finding that portrait and the beginning of lockdown, my knowledge of Three Houses had grown more cohesive, as vague as it still was. I knew that Dimitri was a tragic character who, due to some sort of traumatic events earlier in the story, became significantly more emotionally troubled after the timeskip. Looking back, I think this ended up being just the right amount of knowledge to have about the game before I started playing, because at any given point I had the faintest idea of where the story might be going, but no clue whatsoever about how it got there, and, perhaps most importantly, I still did not know how it ended. Nevertheless, another notable reason I hesitated for so long to play Three Houses was because I knew I was faint of heart and not adept at coping emotionally with even fictional tragedy; knowing what I did about Dimitri, I assumed playing Three Houses would leave me in a significantly worse emotional state than I had before playing the game. (I already struggled with generalized anxiety, a stressful family life, and recurring nightmares.)

Fortunately, I was very wrong. Even so, with no way of knowing this at the time, I figured that a lockdown would be the perfect time to start my playthrough. I was temporarily furloughed from my day job for the foreseeable future and obviously had no plans to go anywhere or do anything, so if I was going to get emotionally wrecked and needed significant time to recover, I might as well do so while I was stuck at home anyway.

(Side note: we could have gotten a Switch Lite with much less hassle if we wanted to, but we opted against it because we wanted to utilize the large television we had in our living room at the time. This ended up being an excellent decision. Second side note: it took me a few days to figure out there was a button on the system itself for taking screenshots, but I’m too sentimental to delete my lower-quality phone pictures.)

On the first evening after dinner I played for only about 45 minutes, enough to select my house. I ended up restricting myself to playing only in the mornings after that, because I lost practically all of my sleep to speculating. I primarily remember wondering about the deeper aspects of Dimitri’s character--what kind of person was he, really? I wrote an unnecessarily detailed paragraph about all of my guesses, based solely on his dialogue up to that (very early) point in the game, synthesized with things I knew about myself. I supposed, with the reservation that these were just wild guesses, that he might be very much like me. Every last one of my guesses turned out correct.

I experienced the story roughly one chapter at a time in two- to three-hour sittings, to allow myself ample time for emotional processing. I figured I might need it, and again, I was right.

As they say, the rest is history. Writing out all of the impressions I recall from Dimitripocalypse would make this post more needlessly long than it already is, and you can gather most of those from my regular posts, anyway. For the sake of as much brevity as I can muster, I’ll skip to the most important conclusion: I’m so glad I played this game.

Again, things could have easily turned out much differently. I very nearly stopped playing the game entirely after Dimitri’s sudden outburst at Remire Village gave me a panic attack so awful that I struggled to manipulate the controllers because my hands were trembling so badly. (I would have quit then and there, but I didn’t realize what was happening until after the fact.) But, after having Aki look up the ending to the route to confirm that it was indeed happy (for Dimitri, anyway--an important distinction), I persisted, also keeping in mind another favorite quote: something about the importance of continuously making an effort to understanding someone you love, even though not understanding them is “the greatest fear.” In retrospect, with how Dimitri’s character arc continued to develop, putting in the effort to reach that understanding at that specific point in the game saved my butt and made the vast majority of what happened later much, MUCH less of an emotional slap in the face. And with how the story progressed, I needed as much free cognitive space for emotional processing as I could get. The post-timeskip reunion with Dimitri led to my first good, cathartic crying session that I could remember in probably seven years. If I remember correctly, think it lasted a total of an hour and a half.

Even with that in mind, or maybe because of it, Dimitri’s renewal halfway through the second part was the single most cathartic moment I can recall ever experiencing. With how hopelessly attached I already was to Dimitri even before knowing the grisly details of his upbringing, the development of his story felt quite literally like something chipping away at my soul. Dimitri’s second peripeteia, then, wherein he realizes his past mistakes and decides to change for the better, evoked the sensation of my soul gently being reassembled, each broken shard softly being set perfectly back into place. I’m still not entirely why a fictional story felt so much more therapeutic than any therapy I had ever gotten up until that point. Somehow, though, just by experiencing that moment, I no longer carried with me a background-noise level of emotional anguish that had, at some point, become my default state.

With all of that said, I’m not entirely sure how to start wrapping this up.

It’s been a year since I took my first fateful step into the world of Fire Emblem Three Houses. There was no way of knowing where the steps after that would take me, even if I did predict a few aspects of the story. I’m certainly happy I was wrong thinking that I would end the game in a worse place than I started. Now I’m standing here looking back, one year later, amazed at how all of these experiences culminated into the present I know today.

I was always entertained by how, when you select which house to lead at the very beginning of the game, Rhea responds with “Your heart has made its choice.” My reply is always: “Yes... yes, it certainly has.” Maybe in some alternate timeline, it is true that this path was a choice I consciously made for myself. But in my current reality, that is not the case. Somehow, my heart makes its own choices independent of the thoughts in my head, and this particular choice is just one river joining the flow of time that continues to sweep me along.

My recurring nightmares never stopped entirely, but they significantly declined in frequency and severity. Moreover, for once, I even recalled a few good dreams I had: those, for me, are rare. I can count on one hand the number of such dreams in which Dimitri unquestionably appeared. One in particular sticks out in my memory to this day. I think of it whenever I have to negotiate with my estranged mother and I resort to perhaps unnecessarily diplomatic, emotionally distant and yet affable language; when I converse with someone about  how it is crucial to discern when to change what is unacceptable and when to simply accept it anyway, even if--especially if--when the thing in question is something about yourself; when I keep in mind that, as much as I’d like to care for others until all of their needs and wants are met, because it brings me joy to see them happy as much as it pains me to see them hurt, there are times when I have to care for myself first, or else I will have none of myself to give.

Oddly, or perhaps, just as it should be, this dream did start out more like a nightmare. I recall feeling very anxious. But the difference this time was that Dimitri was there. Though I seldom experience such vivid sensations in dreams that I still remember them after I wake up, this time, the physical contact our bodies made as we embraced felt real.

“Dimitri,” I murmured, though I didn’t know why, “I’m so scared.”

His response, in perfect tune with the sound of his voice in the game:

“It’s all right. I’m here. Even when I’m not by your side, I’ll always be with you.”

[acloudkat]

Gossip Girl 2.0

So. . . I was unsure of whether I was going to talk about this or not but… in the end, here we are!

I shall be talking about the Gossip Girl Reboot.

Now quick disclaimer and mild *excuse you* to HBO, please find ways to make your content accessible to Europe because there are those of us that are interested and unfortunately your "Max" service is US only and honestly i see no reasonable logic behind it. Therefore my means of getting access to this content shall not be discussed.

Extra disclaimer, there will be spoilers. Doi.

Now I am a big die hard fan of the original GG series and despite the outdated (to today’s standards) comparisons and slang, some of the topics hold up even today. For anyone curious or questioning my opinion, based on my generation, I am mildly in the middle as a Zelenial at 23. I did not grow up with GG, I learned about it when I was 14 but watched it for the first time when I was 19. Since, I have watched it up to 14-17 times; more than 10 for sure. So you can do with that as you please. The main reason I mention this is due to some articles and comments pointing out that maybe it’s a “Gen Z only media” or that “Millennials are just bitter cause it’s not theirs”. Keeping that in mind I will be as per usual showing the ups and downs of the show (so far and later on) from my own personal perspective.

After watching ep 1. (& now 2 which will be in a separate post after this) I have a few questions, comments AND concerns. So let’s get into those shall we :)

So let's do a little round up of our characters.

We have newcomer Zoya Lott that is moving to NYC on a Constance scholarship! But little did anyone in the show know, it was all a plot to get to be with her *half sister*. WHAT?! So the tldl on that is that Zoya and our other main character, Julien Calloway, share a mom! Mom, that i quote "left Julien's dad for Zoya's dad and the dads hate each other" because of which hate, they had absolutely forbidden their daughters from communicating. One thing led to another, a friend request was sent and this is basically the parent trap. . . . but for the kids. . .and they're aware of it cause they made it. . . I suppose? The parents haven't really been mentioned to matter in their plan, however, they do keep bringing up their middle names as "Zoya Jane and Julien Elizabeth" as clues left by their mother? Now some rumours around the web have connected the names to the Pride and Prejudice novels and while that would be extremely Gossip Girl-esque to do, and I am entirely up for that, hell yea!!! I'm wondering if it's as simple as... their mother's name was Elizabeth Jane... but maybe GG will be the one to discover that secret first? Other than that, Zoya is very much a very trusting "innocent type" character that probably has more past than we know about so it will be quite interesting to see how that elaborates going further into the series.

Then there is self-made influencer Julien Calloway. She is the new version of queen at Constance but as stated, they "don't do the patriarchy anymore". While she appears all smiles and kindness, personally i feel as if JC is kind of fake? She has things she cares about yes, but the moment someone or something interferes with her followers and her social standing or Obie (more on him later)

"the gloves come off and the claws come out" - Serena Van der Woodsen

When it comes to Julien I am honestly more curious to see who she is once you take away the followers and the media. Will she be an actual person or just a shallow obsessed spoiled brat? I just hope it won't be the typical story of "have to be perfect and have to have everyone like me because my mom left" ie. has mommy issues. That is how that cliche goes after all. So I am greatly hoping that's not going to be it for this one.

Obie Bergmann! We get introduced to Obie as Julien's boyfriend. Throughout ep 1, the things we learn about Obie are that he is basically the richest in the group, and lives in Dumbo. (irony from original GG for anyone that can guess it). He appears like a super nice and kind dude, a supportive boyfriend, kind of bland and tired of the relationship but the main thing that bothers me about him so far is his impossible to ignore "white guilt syndrome". For anyone unaware, "white guilt" is "remorse or shame felt by a white person with respect to racial inequality and injustice". While it's not a bad thing trying to make up for the in-equality in the world, here's hoping that's not his entire character cus that would get old quick.

Then we have the bestie, Audrey Hope. Audrey. . . is cold but to the point. Very analysing and observing. Definitely the type of character that would take all the info first and decide what to do after. I both like and am confused by her? Her cold mannerisms are quite enjoyable among the masses of drama and emotion I won't lie. However, i do predict a juicy threesome between her, boyfriend Aki and one Max Wolfe. Honestly, I am highly interested in how their relationship evolves.

Aki Menzies is kind of a mystery as of the moment. As to be expected with just 1 episode, we won't know too much about all the characters. He is the very supportive boyfriend that tries to keep the peace between everyone.

Max Wolfe on the other hand appears like the much more flamboyant version of Chuck Bass, if Chuck Bass had a supportive family environment and no limits on who he's dating. That's more or less for him but kuddos for his 0 hesitation to basically have a pic of his dick sent to everyone. I will never not find that hilarious. But again, between these three is my prediction for some juicy interactions. Cause to be fully honest, the chemistry is undeniable.

Monet de Haan. Ah. She is honestly the savage that we need around here. She is the control and the power behind Julien's brand honestly. I am curious how come she helps Julien with her brand rather than have her own? If we go off anything said in the episode, she is more feared than adored so maybe that's why? But Monet honey, fear can also have a following, just . . a different one.

And then there's Luna La, "The stylist" while we don't know much about her, some of her one liners are actively giving me life. Her and Monet are definitely a package deal and i wonder if there is juicier gossip there that we don't know yet.

Lastly, we have our new Gossip Girl. Young teacher, Kate Keller. I won't lie, i did not see us knowing who GG is from the get go. I am however wondering whether this will drag her down to the level of highschoolers (besides the fact that she looks younger than some of them xD) Something that is bothering me in the reboot however, is that technically, characters that represent adults, spying on minors??? Like they even make the point that "i shouldn't have these, i should be in jail" in regards to having almost naked pictures of the kids. Like it's not really okay??? In the original yea no one knew who GG was but they always knew it was someone their age. The teachers didn't care at those times. But they do now and I am not fully sure how okay it is.

And of course, the extras like some of the other teachers behind GG and the parents. We however, don't know too much about them as of now so we shall see soon. If any new characters are introduced they will be addressed but for now, onto the episode!

The half sisters plot is definitely interesting so I would love to know where the whole middle names thing will go. The story line I'm most interested in at the moment however is between Audrey, Max and Aki. I want to see that unwind into something horrendous but then beautiful! It has so much potential in my opinion. In terms of character development however i want to see who Julien is without all of her fame and followers. When the focus is not the media and the attention. I want to see that Julien.

The first episode definitely introduced us to a lot of things at once so far that is my take on them. I'm sure that in the future both the teachers and parents will be a bigger part but one thing is abundantly clear. Unlike the OGGG, there won't be more than maybe 2-3 seasons depending on the ages of the students. The teachers won't follow them onto college will they? Or will things drastically change along the way? It was rather amusing seeing them talk about all the old characters however, and reference the OG Gossip Girl. I am vaguely offended that they categorised twitter as "a glorified chatroom for memes for people over 30". Like dude. . . that hit me hard. I am happy that FB was never even mentioned as existing tho! Cause let's be honest that is not the "hip" thing anymore. But the rules they put down at the party definitely made my head spin. Had to listen to them twice to even get what was happening.

But that's probably enough of me babbling on about this xD If you want to find this on an apparently dying type of media, here's my blog post about it as well lol: https://acloudkat.wordpress.com/?p=960

[beautifulblhell]

A Kaleidoscope Of Colours Ch 1 (Finder Fic)

Pairing: Asami Ryuichi x Takaba Akihito

Summary: Having hated alphas for most of his life, the last thing Akihito wanted was to fall in love with an alpha. Except fate decided to reunite him with Asami. High school x omegaverse AU fic WC: 6099

Read it on: AO3

Chapter 1: Cherry Blossom Pink

Alphas are superior.

While it was true that alphas were born with good-looks and were physically superior to betas and omegas, and even if most of the top spots for the national exams were occupied by alphas, the automatic pass to ascend to the elite world, lord around others and arrogantly discriminate the omegas just because they were an alpha pissed Akihito off royally. That’s what had been instilled into everyone’s mind since the moment they were born, and society just accepted that as the truth.

‘Superior’ my ass, Akihito thought angrily as he agilely scaled up the tall iron gate. With a kick, he jumped off from the top and landed on the ground with a light thud.

“Hey, what do you think you are doing here?!”

Sure, they didn’t have to deal with those inconvenient heat cycles and take time off work, but most of the time they didn’t even work much themselves, only sitting on top of their ‘thrones’ and working others like slaves in a company that their forefathers had left them.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

Bunch of good-for-nothing leeches.

“Listen here, you punk-“

A man -whom Akihito assumed to be a security guard from his outfit- ran across the school ground and accosted him in a menacing voice. He reached out a hand to grab Akihito by the shoulder but instead-

“Eh- Argh! It hurtsssss!!”

Accompanying the shrieks were dull crunching noises as Akihito bent the guard’s hand in a direction that no human hands were supposed to.

“Argh! Wait wait wait, please let go!”

Akihito slowly faced the guard. The guard stopped struggling the moment he saw the deep-seated rage behind Akihito’s eyes, his fear temporarily eclipsing his pain. Beads of cold sweat ran down his face and he tried to smile, his lips twitching. He gulped noisily, then stuttered, “U-uh sir? How may I help you?”

“Is this Yozen Academy?”

“Sure is, sir. Um, may I ask if you have any business here?” The guard laughed nervously, his eyes flickering desperately side to side, probably hoping for reinforcements, but it seemed that even Satan had turned a blind eye to his plight.

“Sure do.”

Following those words, in one swift movement, Akihito delivered a roundhouse kick straight at the man’s abdomen. The guard sailed through the air, followed by a dull thud as he landed heavily on the ground.

“...”

There was no movement.

Akihito walked over and stared in disbelief at the unconscious figure lying limply there. He nudged the man with his shoes, but the foam trickling from the guard’s mouth was his only response.

At least he was still alive. Probably.

A one hit K.O. huh. What kind of lame-ass security did they employ that faints from a single kick?

That… did not satiate his burning rage one bit.

He had been expecting to face at least quite a few veteran guards so he came with the intent to fistfight God if he had to, but this… this single minion took only a moment for Akihito to finish. In fact, seeing that he was able to deal with this in one blow did nothing but flame his irritation even more.

Akihito cracked his knuckles, scowling. Guess his target will receive his full wrath then.

“Well, pardon the intrusion.”  He stepped over the body as he said so. Narrowing his eyes, he scanned his surroundings.

Before him stood Yozen Academy, one of the most prestigious alpha-only high schools in the country. Only the most influential, wealthy, and powerful people around the world could send their alpha children to.

An imposing white building with an oppressive architectural style sprawled out in front of him, with wings adjoined on either side, giving the impression that Akihito was stepping into the mouth of a monster. It donned several stories high. Instead of making the building seem open, the giant glass windows seemed more like soulless eyes, gazing emptily at Akihito. Trees lined up the road leading towards the main entrance  with the track fields and sports courts could be seen off to the side.

Heck, whose decision was it to make this school so huge?! I’m gonna need Google Maps to navigate around this monstrosity. He ran a hand irritably through his bleached blond hair.

Finding his target in such a vast space was going to be difficult. Akihito tried not to let his annoyance stop him. A few students had exited the building, then, after seeing Akihito, they all doubled back in panic, slamming the door with a loud bang. As if a door could stop Akihito.

Such a nice welcome, and here I thought that they taught manners at this fancy school.

It didn’t help that Akihito wasn’t trying to blend in. While all the students were in pristine white uniforms, excellently tailored that screamed ‘I’m made of money!’, Akihito wore the more plain black gakuran with his sleeves rolled up. The white t-shirt he wore underneath was emblazoned with the kanji “fire’ along with a drawing of flames. Plus, he carried a wooden bat with suspicious dark red stains dried on to it on his shoulders.

So yeah, not very inconspicuous.

Akihito stared moodily at the building, contemplating whether to charge in or wait it out, since he was apt to get lost in that huge building if he went in. As he was thinking, an old bald guy with a shiny forehead that refracted the sunlight, blinding Akihito temporarily, stuck his head out from a window and then quickly retracted, like those whack-a-moles in arcades. Akihito knew that he would be calling the police.

Ahhh, damn, gotta act fast. It would be a pain in the ass if the police come. Not that he minded, since he could lead them on another motorcycle chase. But Akihito was losing his patience and his self restraint was getting tired at this point, ready to snap anytime. Well, gotta get him out of there first. And to do that? Akihito took a deep breath.

“COME THE HELL OUT OF THERE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP ALPHA!”

Hundreds of faces peered at him from the square glass windows. To be honest, Akihito didn’t specify which alpha he was looking for, but seeing so many alphas looking at him, Akihito couldn’t resist saluting his middle finger at them as a greeting. The horrified faces granted him a tiny bit of satisfaction.

Probably never had anyone act like this towards them, especially an omega, Akihito sniggered inwardly.

It was then a door from the left wing of the building opened, and a single person walked out, his back towards Akihito. He had a lean physique and wore the same white school uniform as the rest of the students here, however, he had a presence that was impossible to ignore. A striking presence that commanded everyone’s attention around him, but also emitted a quiet coldness that warned people off.

A tall muscular black haired alpha, had an imposing air. Kou had said angrily while Takato had his arms around a sobbing Yuriko. He probably said a name, but as he had just told Akihito what happened with Yuriko, it rocketed in one ear and out through the other.

Yep, found him. With his temper hanging on by a thread, he stalked towards the boy.

“Oi, I finally found you, you little-“

Hearing his voice, the young man turned around in surprise. The moment their gazes locked, Akihito jerked to an abrupt standstill. Whatever words that were in Akihito’s throat evaporated, along with any coherent thoughts he had.

That spring day during Akihito’s sixteenth year, his world exploded into a kaleidoscope of colours.

The light spring breeze sighed softly through the cherry blossom trees in the courtyard, creating a soft pink snowfall. Petals danced and swirled around them, seemingly full of life, as if gently beckoning them to be closer, creating a veil that separated them from the rest of the world, a space where it was only them two.

Through the branches, soft sunlight filtered through, basking the young man’s features in its warm rays, and Akihito’s eyes widened, his need to breathe forgotten.

The alpha’s beauty was ethereal. His soft black hair fluttered in the wind, framing his handsome features. His eyes were a striking deep golden colour, which widened in surprise when they saw Akihito.

“Aki...hito?”

The words were spoken so softly, and amidst the sound of the branches shuffling against each other, it was almost impossible to hear, but the gentle wafting air drifting amidst the blooming flowers carried the young man’s voice to Akihito, along with a delicate sweet fragrance, tickling Akihito’s nose.

Time seemed to have stopped and the whole world ceased to exist. Inside the whirlwind of blossoms, it was a space where nothing mattered, only them, reflecting so clearly in each other’s eyes.

“Pretty bold of you to bring your omega to school, Asami,” The atmosphere was instantly killed by an obnoxious voice that drew from behind him.

As if someone poured cold water over him, the adenoidal voice sent Akihito crashing back into his disordered senses. Reality was a bitch.

For a moment or two, he stood there in stunned silence. He was dimly aware of the voice of the newcomer, but his mind was not processing the meanings. He was overwhelmed by the unexpected welter of emotions swelling up inside of him. Emotions that he had never experienced before, emotions that he doesn’t have a name for, that sent his heart pounding, his blood pumping furiously in his veins, carrying a warm feeling, spreading through his entire body. As if someone had played a melody, and his heartstrings were vibrating along with every cadence.

The anger he was just feeling earlier was being painted over with confusion.

Heck, what is this? This- this feeling-

“Sakazaki.” The voice was cold and deep. The mere sound sent a jolt through Akihito like he touched a live wire. Slowly, he turned around. The black-haired alpha was now standing between him and the newcomer.

“Is that another Kuroyama High omega?” The obnoxious voice carried an unnecessary arrogant tone.

Hearing that, Akihito shakes himself out of his daze and mentally slapped himself to focus on the reason he came here in the first place. He pushed aside the pretty alpha in front of him and faced the irritating newcomer.

“Why do you mean, ‘another’?”

The newcomer was another alpha who exuded extreme arrogance as he stood with his hands in his pockets, unbothered by Akihito’s tone. His head was tilted back as he looked down on Akihito through his glasses. He sprouted the most awful looking scraggly beard Akihito had ever seen on a human. Half of his shirt button was open, revealing a rather hairy chest.

The goatee guy leered at Akihito, “Well, there was a little omega who wore the same cheap uniform as you who came onto me recently.”

It took Akihito a moment to realize in his still confused state that this was the person Kou was talking about.

The anger that had subsided started to brew up again. He hissed through his teeth, “She never came onto you.”

The goatee guy appraised Akihito with slimy dark, cold eyes that reminded Akihito of the dead fish at the outdoor fish markets. He then shrugged and leered, “Why does it matter? Omegas should just obey the will of the alphas, since the only useful thing they can do is to spread their legs for us. Isn’t this why you came over? Wanting to find an alpha to look after you?”

A waft of a heavy sickly sweet smell, like an overripe fruit that has been left for too long and turned rotten suddenly brooded over the air.

“Sakazaki.” An angry warning tone suddenly sliced through the air as the black haired alpha stepped forward. In an instant, an intimidating aura came crashing down and the air froze over. For a brief moment, the goatee guy seemed surprised by the young man’s anger, but in the haze of his anger, Akihito barely registered the smell and the exchange.

If there was a type of person that Akihito hated the most, it was alphas. Looking down and trampling the effort of others without working hard themselves, and acting as though they could do no wrong. As if it was all a privilege that came with the status of being born as an alpha.

Akihito gripped the bat so tightly in his hand that the wood creaked. The rage that he had suppressed earlier came roaring back to life in his ears. “Listen here, you piece of crap that is worse than the dog shit I nearly stepped onto this morning-“

The rest of his words were drowned out by the sound of several cars coming to a screeching halt in front of the gate and of vehicle doors slamming shut. The iron gate opened, welcoming in a swarm of men in black. They came charging towards them.

“That’s him, the delinquent with a bat !” A wheezing voice screamed above them. Akihito scowled as he saw the whack-a-mole guy pointing at him from the windows.

“Leave.” The raven haired alpha said over his shoulder. He was still standing protectively in front of Akihito. But Akihito doesn’t listen. The flames of his anger had burnt down the last shred of his self control. He ducked to the side and aimed a heavy kick between the legs of the goatee alpha.

The goatee guy had fast reflexes, Akihito had to give him that. He dodged, barely missing Akihito’s kick, but Akihito was quicker as he followed through with his second strike.

Before the goatee guy could see it coming, Akihito’s fist slammed into his abdomen with full force. And exactly half a second later, Akihito’s other first landed on the goatee guy’s cheekbones, sending his glasses flying. All he saw was red. Anger, that every alpha he had encountered had treated omegas like shit, and anger, at his own helplessness when he was weak and could do nothing but watch. He was just pulling his hand back to permanently rearrange the Goatee guy’s face when his arms were stopped.

Cool fingers grabbed his wrists tightly, and an angry voice hissed in his ear.

“You need to leave.”

The moment Akihito heard the voice, it pulled him out of the red mist that so often controlled him when he was angry. He blinked in surprise, then all of a sudden, the feeling of the ground beneath his feet vanished. His vision titled, and a cloudless expanse of clear blue filled his vision. At first, his eyes were taken away by the beauty of the petals dancing amidst the blue backdrop, but then the shouts of surprise brought him back to his senses.

By then, the black haired alpha had already kicked off the ground and jumped on the high walls surrounding the school effortlessly.

While carrying Akihito in his arms bridal style.

As soon as the young man made a soft landing on the other side of the wall, he dropped Akihito onto his feet.

“Leave,” he repeated, his tone final, leaving no room for argument. His eyes were hard. If it was anyone else hearing that tone, they would have no doubt scuttled away by now.

But the words simply rolled off Akihito with absolutely no effect on him.

Akihito gaped at him. The whole process has been so fast that his mind had barely kept up with what had happened, but now that his two feet were back on the ground, his initial surprise abetted and indignation and embarrassment replaced it. “You- What the hell do you think you were doing?!” To be carried like that, Akihito had no face to show to the rest of the gang.

The young alpha’s eyebrows pulled together seeing Akihito’s uncooperative attitude. He opened his mouth, but the commotion on the other side of the wall disrupted him.

“They went over the wall. Catch them!” Thundering footsteps could be heard coming towards them.

The young man clicked his tongue in annoyance and without answering Akihito, he grabbed his hand.

The moment their hands touched, a bolt of electricity ran through Akihito’s hand. Akihito gasped as both of their hands jerked from the contact. An expression of surprise mirrored on both of their faces, before the golden-eyed alpha set his jaws and wrapped his hands around Akihito’s once more. The place where they were touching seemed to be burning.

Then they sprinted into the bright spring morning. The young man was fast, with his damn long legs, but Akihito had no problem keeping up. Giving the severity of the situation, that he had invaded one of the most elite high school in Japan and attacked a son of a probably-very-important figure either in the government or the corporate world, he should probably be panicking at the amount of trouble he would be in, but for some reason, his heart felt light, and everything around him seemed to be more colourful and brighter than before.

They both finally stopped when they reached the middle of a bustling street. Strands of the young man’s carefully combed dark hair had fallen into his eyes. He roughly pushed them back before turning towards Akihito, his jaw tight, which only helped highlight his cheekbones and show off his jawline.

“Why do you never listen?”

“What is that supposed to mean? ”Akihito pulled his hand back and scowled, “I didn’t ask for your help. I could have beaten them on my own.”

The young man narrowed his golden eyes. “They are professionals.”

Akihito shrugged. He knew but that doesn’t mean he was going to admit he couldn’t defeat them. Well, not all of them, anyway.

“Why did you help me? You’re an alpha.”

The young man seemed visibly confused. “What’s that got to do with me helping you or not?”

“Alphas think they are superior right? Like that hairy gorilla guy with the ugly goatee earlier. You think the rest of us are below you.”

His golden eyes hardened a fraction when Akihito mentioned the arrogant guy.

“Don’t put me in the same league as Sakazaki. That doesn’t mean all alphas act like that.”

Akihito snorted. “Sure, you might pretend that you are nice at the beginning, but in the end, you’ll leave. Someone I know deserted me once he knew he was an alpha and I was an omega. I hope that asshole lives happily ever after.”

The alpha suddenly stiffened, a flash of pain entered his eyes before he shifted his gaze away.

Akihito felt that he said something that shouldn’t have been said, but the sun can start orbiting around the moon before he apologies to an alpha.

They looked in the opposite direction, neither one willing to break the awkward silence between them.

That was when Akihito caught sight of a small figure standing hesitantly amongst the throng of people. The little boy looked left and right, his big eyes welling up with tears as he looked helplessly around him.

Akihito walked up to the child.

“Hey kid, can’t find your parents?”

“My mother… I can’t find her.” The boy’s voice was trembling from holding back his tears.

“Mother, huh,” There was a twinge of sadness in Akihito’s voice, but before anyone could take note of it, he squatted down so he was eye-level with the small child, and smiled brightly, patting the boy on his head. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you to find her!”

At first, the boy looked relieved, but as soon as he saw the bat Akihito had in his hand, his lips quivered and broke out into tears.

“I want my mummy!”

“Hey- wait! Why are you crying?!” Akihito tried to soothe the child, but to no avail. He turned around and looked at the young man in a panic, “Hey you! Don’t just stand there, do something!”

The young man looked as if Akihito asked him to summon up a pink elephant and alien and teach them waltz.

An old lady ambled up to them and clicked her tongue, “Young people nowadays, you think it’s alright to skip school and hang around in town and cause a ruckus at this hour of the day?” She took one look at the crying child and raised her voice even higher, “And exhorting money from an elementary school kid! Shame on you! This is why society is going downhill nowadays! I’m going to call the police and they’ll sort you out!”

Akihito was just about to argue that it wasn’t his fault that society is the way it is now when the old lady’s hand shot out with surprisingly nimbleness and wrenched the bat out of Akihito’s grasp.

“Hey! Give that back!”

But the old lady turned up her voice to maximum volume, so it sounded as if she was speaking through a megaphone.

“Talking back to your elders now, are you?! And what are you doing walking around with a weapon like this, threatening upstanding citizens like myself in this area?”

By now, a small crowd of onlookers had gathered around them. Akihito knew it wasn’t good for them to be attracting attention now, but he wanted his bat back.

“Look, I’m not threatening anyone with it, I-“

“What’s going on there?” A voice shouted from afar, and Akihito saw a policeman patrolling the area running towards them.

As if reading his intentions of wanting to grab his bat back, a hand pulled him back and dragged him away.

‘Hey wait! Let me go! I need that bat!”

But the young man didn’t let go. After dragging a struggling Akihito along a few streets, he finally released Akihito.

Akihito turned to run back the moment he was free, but he had hardly taken a step when he froze.

…

Where was he?

Glancing left and right, he saw designer boutiques lining up the wide pavement, and foreign cars whizzing along the road.

There was no way he could find his way back to where they were.

Akihito clutched his head in his hands and let out a groan. He was going to be so much trouble for losing that bat. He wanted to put it back before anyone found out that he took it, but now…

Seeing that Akihito was no longer running away, the young man said, “We should go somewhere inside for a while. They might be searching in this area soon.” After saying so, he walked off, as if expecting Akihito to follow him.

Akihito contemplated not following the young man, but he wasn’t familiar with this part of Tokyo at all. After all, no one without at least 100,000 digits in their bank account would come to this area.

He sighed.

With no other choice, he walked behind the other boy.

Everywhere they went, passersby turned their heads and did a double take at the young man. Akihito scowled. Sure, even amongst alphas, the young man was pretty good looking, with his tie yanked down and collar loosened, but he has flaws too, like…

…

Akihito couldn’t come up with any imperfections. And that irritated him even more.

There’s no way someone has no flaws. Maybe his height? But he was pretty tall. Then his face? Nope, it seems as if God had forsaken the rest of humanity’s appearance after creating one masterpiece.

Because Akihito was so deep in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the boy in front of him had stopped in his tracks and walked straight into him.

“Oww,” Akihito complained, rubbing his nose. At least he smelled good-

Wait, what?

Shocked at his own thoughts, he realized a second too late that the other boy had already veered off course and into a building.

He looked up at the building. The bright lights displaying the word ‘cinema’ shone down on him.

Akihito quickly darted inside the building. The smell of popcorn greeted him. By the time he stepped inside the foyer, the black haired boy was already at the ticket counter. Turning to Akihito, he asked, “Are there any films you want to see?”

“Yeah sure, are they still screening Barbie or My Little Pony?”

The young man gave him a deadpan look, then turned back to the lady at the booth.

“Then two tickets for the next film that’s screening.”

The lady smiled at them both kindly, and handed them their tickets.

“Please enjoy.”

Akihito walked up to him when he saw he paid for both of them. “How much was it? I’ll pay for my own.” He moved to put his hand in his pocket, but-

Shitttttt

His hand came up empty.

He had left in such a hurry this morning that he had forgotten his wallet.

“I-uh…”

Akihito shifted his feet, eyes gravitating towards the ground, suddenly finding a spot on the carpet really fascinating.

“I kinda...uh…”

The young man simply handed Akihito his tickets, along with a wad of notes.

“The concession stand is over there. I will wait for you at the entrance of the screen.”

He spoke curtly, and before Akihito could protest, he had already walked off.

Akihito stared at the bills in his hands, eyes wide. Holy crap, he must be rich. The black haired guy still seemed a bit angry, but Akihito brushed it off his mind and headed towards the snack stand.

When Akihito came back, the raven haired boy raised his eyebrows. In fact, all the cinema goers did a double take when Akihito walked past them.

He was holding a jumbo pot of popcorn. Balanced on top was a super sized hot dog and a small tray of takoyaki. In his left hand he was holding a cup of soda, and dangling between his fingers was a bag of candy floss. His trousers pockets were also bulging.

He shrugged when he saw the other boy staring at him.

“I didn’t have breakfast.”

Miraculously, or perhaps, incredibly, Akihito was able to walk down their aisle without dropping a single popcorn. He stopped short when he arrived at their designated seats.

“...”

“What is it?”

“No way. No way in hell am I gonna sit in that.”

What Akihito was referring to was a special seat for couples. The red sofa-like seat was heart shaped and there was no armrest in between.

Just looking at it made Akihito shudder.

Why the hell would they give them that seat?!

He stormed out of the screen.

“I want a change of seats.”

The lady at the booth looked flustered. “Ah, uhm, my deepest apologies, but there are no more vacant seats.”

“Is that delinquent causing trouble?”

“Maybe he wants to watch it for free and is harassing the poor girl.”

I can hear you, Akihito turned and scowled at the other movie goers whispering behind his back.

A hand yanked his collar.

“Hey- what are you doing?! Let me go!”

So once again, Akihito was dragged away, back towards the screen and into the seat.

“Did no one tell you it’s rude to drag someone?” Akihito glowered at the other man.

“Then don’t make a big scene, unless you want to be kicked out.” He sat down, and faced the screen, putting an end to the conversation.

Armed with no more options, Akihito sulked in his seat.

But they were in such close proximity that everytime they moved, their knees would brush, so Akihito sat like a stone, only moving his hands from the food to his mouth.

The movie seemed to be a romance one, something about a pair of childhood friends finally reuniting, a jealous stalker that comes with the package because the male lead was too handsome, and an unnecessary side character that keeps trying to steal the limelight.

Akihito was bored. Corny romance movies like these made his lone brain cell want to self-destruct. Especially that scene when one of them got kidnapped and got left on a stranded island, and the other braved through blazing gunfire and somehow could miraculously operate a helicopter and save the other person.

Maybe it was because of the film, but a certain memory from his past surfaced up, a memory that he had hardly thought of anymore.

When he was young, he made friends with another boy slightly older than him. He thought they were best friends, but after they got their tests back on their secondary gender, and he told his friend that he was an omega, the other boy slowly then completely dropped contact.

Probably thinks he’s too great to play with an omega.

What was that boy’s name again? Asami Ryuichi right?

...

Suddenly, the popcorn in his mouth felt like sand. The bucket of popcorn tumbled from his hand, spilling loudly across the ground. Several heads turned towards them, but Akihito couldn’t care less right at this moment. He jerked his head towards the person sitting on his right so hard that he nearly got whiplashed.

Didn't the Goatee guy call him Asami? Akihito raked through his memory hard. But it was all a blur since that weird time-stop moment had happened.

“...What’s your name?”

The black haired boy’s mouth thinned, as if Akihito had asked him a question he didn’t want to answer. His eyes stayed glued to the screen.

The glare of the light from the screen should have turned his face into an unattractive landscape of washed out colours, but it only made him more beautiful.

Just when Akihito thought he didn’t hear him and was about to ask again,

“...Asami.”

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but Akihito’s heart took the expressway straight to his stomach. His jaw dropped to the floor.

So that’s why he looked uncomfortable when Akihito mentioned the person he knew from his childhood, they were the same person!

“Why didn’t you say that you were Asami earlier?!”

Unable to contain his shock, Akihito inadvertently raised his voice.

The other movie watchers turned to them in shock.

“Did he say Asami?”

“The Asami?”

“No way!”

The whispers spread like a ripple across a still lake. Asami stood up abruptly and exited the screen. He didn’t say another word until they were both outside the building. Akihito followed behind without a word, slightly regretting his outburst. Then, with a furrow in between his brows, Asami said with a voice that carried an exasperated resignation.

“Do you have to cause a commotion everytime you go somewhere?”

“Hey, that wasn’t on purpose!” Akihito said reflexively. Or rather, heard himself say. His mind was still reeling at the revelation.

But it wasn’t surprising that the other people were shocked. The Asami family was famous. It was an old family, with their influence extending to everywhere from politics to business. And they were one of the wealthiest families in Japan.

They walked aimlessly down the street in silence.

A thousand questions burned in Akihito’s throat, and a thousand questions extinguished in his mouth.

What should he say? How have you been? Or, why did you leave?

The betrayal after so many years still stung, but everytime he saw Asami, the questions died. There was something different, something untouchable about Asami now, that made him seem so different from the young boy that lived in Akihito’s memories.

A loud rumble echoed.

It seemed that Akihito had done too much thinking.

Asami turned back, his eyebrows raised.

“Are you still hungry?”

“Hey,” Akihito raised both of his hands, “I didn’t even get to finish eating the food I got before we left the cinema.”

Akihito's eyes trailed around, and landed on a golden arch of the letter ‘M’.

“There, let’s go eat there.”

He probably has never been into a fast food restaurant before. Akihito sniggered inwardly. Payback number 1.

Akihito grinned at Asami, “Though there’s no knife or forks there. Are you sure you are going to be alright?”

Asami shot him a withering look, then headed inside.

But to Akihito’s surprise, instead of looking uncomfortable, Asami walked up the counter and ordered without any hesitation.

The person at the counter placed a cup of sundae on their tray.

“Here, it’s a free special sundae for couples when you buy two or more deluxe meals because it’s White Day.”

...It’s White Day today?! Of all days to meet with Asami again. Akihito facepalmed inwardly. But Asami didn’t seem bothered. He took the tray, and sat them at a table near the corner. He pushed three burgers with fries towards Akihito, and only took one for himself.

His long elegant fingers unwrapped up his burger. He looked so refined, so out of place in a cheap burger chain, and if Akihito didn’t know Asami, he would have thought Asami was a model shooting a commercial.

At that moment Asami glanced up, his eyes met Akihito’s.

“Eat.”

Embarrassment coloured Akihito’s cheeks at having been caught staring. He quickly stuffed the burger in his mouth.

Still, after the three burgers, Akihito stared at the sundae. It looked delicious. Strawberry sauce dripped enticingly off the soft peaks of the ice cream.

Asami must have seen him staring at it with sparkling eyes because he said, “You can have it.”

“All of it?” Even when saying so, Akihito was pulling the cup towards himself.

The first mouthful was bliss, and a content smile naturally spread across Akihito’s face. But all too soon, the cup was empty. Akihito leaned back in his chair, his hunger finally abated. Now that they had both finished eating, the silence made Akihito shift uncomfortably in his seat. His fingers fiddled with the empty cup. He was just thinking about how to break the silence when Asami beat him to it.

“What were you doing there this morning?”

For a brief moment, Akihito’s mind pulled up empty. Then he stiffened as he remembered the reason and that he was with an alpha himself. A sour taste entered his mouth, and a scowl appeared on his face.

“That goatee gorilla guy harassed my friend's girlfriend. He forcefully used his pheromones on her and made her go into heat. Luckily Takato arrived in time, but who knows what would have happened if he didn’t.” The cup got crushed in his fist.

Asami was silent, then, “You should stay away from him.”

Akihito’s anger started to simmer up again. “Didn’t you hear what I just said he did? No way in hell am I gonna let him off the hook for what he did.”

“It’s not your problem, is it?”

“Takato’s like my brother, so of course it’s my problem! Plus, his attitude pisses me off, you heard what he said-“

“Don’t go near Sakazaki.” An edge had entered Asami’s voice.

Akihito sat back, folding his arms. He wasn’t about to back down. He glared at Asami. “Are you protecting him?”

Asami looked disgusted at the very idea.

“Then what’s your problem with me-“

“You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

“That doesn’t scare me-“

“Akihito.”

The air surrounding them suddenly became thin. Akihito’s mouth snapped shut.

“Do. Not. Go. Near. Him.”

Asami’s words were flat, cold. He spoke slowly, but there was no masking his anger. His golden eyes burned into Akihito’s, preventing Akihito from looking away, and for once, Akihito was at a loss for words. Asami held his gaze for a few more seconds, then he stood up, taking the tray to the nearby trash can.

The silence returned, and neither of them made any attempts to break it. Akihito’s mood was black and refused to look at Asami. Did Asami expect him to smile, nod his head and go, “Yeah, sure, I won’t.”?

Asami made no move to break it either. He simply walked out of the restaurant and along Main Street and flagged down a taxi. Seeing Asami talking to the driver and handing him a wad of cash, Akihito had just decided to turn around and blindly walk around until he was at a familiar place when Asami pushed him inside the taxi.

He leaned against the car door frame, his eyes capturing Akihito’s, and said, “Remember what I’ve said. Don’t go near the school or Sakazaki again.”

“Now wait a damn minute you-“

He closed the door to the taxi before Akihito could say any more.

Then, he spun on his heel and strode away briskly, disappearing into the crowd of people, and the taxi pulled away.

*****

The moment Asami closed the door to his room, he slumped onto the ground, all the energy leaving his body.

Why, why did he have to appear again now of all times?