#Ain't Sayin' She's a Gold Digger
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loominggaia · 1 year ago
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Also why did Ivy marry Dorito Dusk?
You know, that's actually a damn good question. Why would someone marry a sentient pile of rat feces? It boggles the mind...
In all seriousness, I'm sure it all came down to money and power. Ivy was a criminal before she married Dario (I mean, she was a criminal after she married him too, but she was no longer a broke criminal!). She always dreamed of power, riches, and beauty. Dario was a convenient vehicle for her to obtain all that, and she wasn't above degrading herself to achieve her goals, considering she was a prostitute/killer/thief in the first place.
Marrying Dario wasn't even her ultimate goal, it was just one of the steps along the way. In "Ghoul Beneath the Guise", it's implied that she'd been waiting for the opportunity to usurp him as clan master for a long time. This piece of dialogue is our first hint:
     Breathlessly, [Lily] told her, “You look just like a princess! Are you a real princess, lady? Like in the storybooks?”
     [Ivy] cocked her head, a tiny crease forming between her brows. Then she laughed, high and bright as a bell. “No, dear girl, I regret to say I am not! Although my husband does own a castle, so perhaps that makes me some sort of queen. Queen Ivy…I like the sound of that!”
Ivy wants to be a queen. She wants ultimate power over her makeshift "kingdom". Although Dario believed he was the smartest person in the Dusk clan, several scenes prove that Ivy was a hell of a lot smarter than him. She had him fooled, and she would often influence the clan by manipulating him, using him as a puppet without him even realizing she was pulling his strings.
This is never explicitly stated in the series, but you have to wonder if the whole situation with Lilian was a setup on Ivy's part. She'd been married to Dario for centuries before that; she knew exactly what made him tick. She had to have known he wouldn't be able to control himself around Lilian. Early in the story when she's trying to convince Dario to let them keep her, she even emphasizes the girl's beauty and purity.
Ivy wasn't stupid; she knew what a vile piece of shit her husband was before she even married him. If there was anything beautiful and pure around him, he couldn't help but defile it, and she was well aware of that. Ivy never loved him, she just tolerated his abuse in exchange for immortality and a wealthy lifestyle.
Personally I think she took Lilian in because she knew Dario would attack her eventually, and then Ivy would finally have the blackmail she needed to usurp his power. She was playing the long game. A few years is nothing to a centuries-old immortal vampire.
Also I want to add that Dario didn't treat Ivy nearly as bad as he treated Lilian. Don't get me wrong, he was abusive to Ivy, but Ivy had more agency and control over her situation than Lilian ever did. Ivy was clever and strong enough to stop being his victim at any time, she just chose to stick around and endure it because the benefits were worth it to her. Dario saw Ivy as a potential threat and knew he couldn't get away with treating her the way he treated Lilian.
This is the main thing that motivated him to kill Ivy and marry Lilian instead. Ivy became too much of a threat to his ego as well as his power. He realized he'd been underestimating her until the day she blackmailed him, then I think he finally realized just how conniving she really was and it scared the shit out of him. He'd been plotting her death since that very moment.
TL;DR: Ivy married Diarrhea Doodoo Man because he had a fat wallet and the "gift" of eternal life. She didn't care that he treated her like trash because she was planning to kill him and take his throne someday anyway.
NOW I AIN'T SAYIN SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER...but, well, you know the rest.
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Questions/Comments?
Lore Masterpost
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tabbyrp · 1 year ago
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I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger…
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But she did move to California in 1849.
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buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years ago
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Ain’t Sayin’ She’s a Gold Digger: Part 4
Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Negan x Sugar Baby!Reader
Warnings: Sugar baby relationship, swearing
Word Count: 7,963
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the four months between getting the tickets, and heading to Burning Man, Jeff added seventeen countries and almost double that in states to deal with hotels that were going through the summer with bad ratings and numbers to your travel list. And while he worked, you worked with your new, temporary Burning Man assistant and your friends to organize everything you would need. It was chosen by the group, that now included Matt and Stacy, to join Kenzie and Stacy’s usual camp, which was actually a collection of make your own camps, to get the full Burner experience, and despite the fact that you felt like you were going crazy with Kenzie, who was the other natural organizer in the group, the trip came up before you knew it.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Jeff laughed as he finally drove his RV into Black Rock City behind the 26 foot U Haul filled with your contribution to camp- thousands of dollars worth of water, Gatorade, mini and regular sized liquor bottles, beer, snacks, granola and power bars, and a thrift store find stand up piano, that Matt was driving for you.
“Oh, it’ll be fun.” You giggled as you waved at someone Kenzie had been yelling out the U Haul window at.
“Did you forget, I’m an old man, sweetheart?” He asked with a glance over at you before turning to the right to head down to where your camp, Island Time was located.
“Did you forget that we decided you are seasoned, not old?” Kara asked as she held two of six boxes of decorations in place on the dinning room table.
“We definitely agreed on seasoned, your Majesty.” Dana called out from the back bedroom, where she was responsible for keeping the dozen solar powered coolers of ice in place. Your boyfriend groaned as your smile grew even more.
“Oh, I’m never going to let you live this down.” You giggled as you reached over and pat his thigh.
“Yea, and you’re just making me wanna call an Uber.”
“They have an airport!” Chelsea called out as she sat up from the couch, where she was holding a rope that connected the three massive shade tents, also named Costco Barns, that would make up your themed camp.
“Don’t encourage him.” You scolded as you turned in your seat to look back at her. “He will leave.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” She laughed as she sat up completely, as Jeff parked the RV on the left side of your camp site, and beside the U Haul that would turn into a ‘fishing pond’ for all the snacks it held. “Alright, let’s get unpacked.” You pat Jeff’s thigh once more as the girls in the back got out to start setting up.
“Just let go, sweetheart.” You told him as he set the emergency brake. “You are allowed to take a vacation and the company won’t crumble in your absence.”
“You are the only person I would agree to this for.” He said honestly as he dropped the keys in his cup holder and picked up your hand. “I love you, (Y/N). I need you to know that.”
“I love you, too, Jeff. So, so much.”
“Are you two gunna help, or are you just gunna sit there all day?” Dana asked as she grabbed one of the decorations boxes to carry out. You muttered ‘shut up’ and gave Jeff a chaste kiss before getting out to begin the long day of work. Kate, who was the mastermind behind your camp’s theme, started directing instantly, transforming the square of desert into a tropical wonderland. 
Your group had thought of everything, from a had painted directional sign that pointed fellow Burners to coffee, the Playa, the Deep Playa, City Center, the bathrooms, and of course, the Burning Man center piece and The Temple, to a bunch of tropical themed pool rafts to be used by whomever as seats. You had a blue tarp on the ground and the dyed canvas covers above you that Chelsea had painted to look like waves, and dozens of starfish, jellyfish, and fish toys zip tied anywhere they could go so they didn’t become missiles in a dust storm. 
There were four fishing poles laid against the U Haul, which had giant handmade banners on each side to promote your camp, and they were set up for ‘fishing’ with baskets on the end of the 100 pound test line that Jeff swore would hold up for what you needed it to. And the piece de le resistance of your camp was an inflatable palm tree cooler, that would have ice cold drinks for anyone passing by that needed one, that would sit directly in front of the piano you had brought to play as yet another contribution to the Burning Man community.
“It’s perfect.” Dana said with a proud smile as you on Jeff’s shoulders, and Chelsea on Matt’s strung up the last strings of blue lights in the canopy.
“I would hope so.” Kate said with a nod. “I busted my ass to figure out this design.”
“Hey! Beach girls!” A guy called out as he rode by your camp on his bike. “Nice idea!” You all yelled thanks as Jeff kneeled down so you could climb off.
“Damn, it’s hot.” He sighed as he sat down on one of the couple chairs you had brought. You nodded in agreement and used your already dust covered shirt to wipe off your face.
“I need a shower.”
“Get used to being dirty.” Kenzie said as she just took off her shirt and tossed it on a chair on her way over to grab a the reusable water bottle with her name on it so she could fill it up from the sink on the outside of the RV.
“So are we getting ready to open here or what?” Matt asked as he helped Chelsea dump ice from one of the solar power coolers into the palm tree cooler.
“Yea, someone throw up the fishing sign.” You said as you two pulled off your shirt and headed inside to get dressed. “I’ll go get ready.”
——
“Oh, do you know ‘Piano Man’?” A girl asked as she skipped up to your piano with a champagne slushy from a few camps down. You glanced up at her and nodded as you set down your mermaid patterned water bottle, that was currently filled with rum and coke and adjusted your shell patterned bikini top.
“I wouldn’t be a piano playing mermaid if I didn’t!” You cried as your fingers moved from playing a random melody to the newest request. You started playing over the cheers of a man, who had gotten a mini bottle of Jäger and a bag of Goldfish in his fishing pole bucket, as the girl in front of you cheered and started singing with you, and the group that had collected in your tent at some point since the sun went down. You glanced over at Jeff, who had decided months ago that he was going to be on whatever shift you were on, and gave him a slightly knowing smile, since his only job was to make sure ice was being made in the ice genies you had filling your freezer, and that the ice that was melting was draining into a new one to make more ice as needed. 
He’d spent most of his evening simply watching you, and holding up polite conversations with people that had come in to your tent and had some how slipped past Matt, and Stacy, who were on an entertainment shift with you in the main part of your camp, while Dana played ‘fish’ in the fan filled U Haul, and the other girls rode around to check out some of the rest of the camps. You couldn’t help but fall even more in love with him like you had every day for the past couple months. He was just entirely too good for you, and you didn’t ever want to be away from him.
“Alright, guys, I’m gunna take a break for a few hours.” You said when you saw Kenzie and Kara on their bikes. “Put requests in the fish bowl!”
“We’re switching out?” Matt asked as grabbed a beer from the palm tree.
“Yea, we’re gunna go burn a while.” You said as you adjusted your mermaid scales bottoms on your way over to the U Haul. You yelled your intentions to Dana, who was going to switch places with Kenzie for the second shift of fishing, and grabbed your heavily decorated with bright neon blue LED battery power lights beach cruiser.
“You know, I don’t know if I remember how to ride a bike.” Jeff said softly as he grabbed his matching, mixed color bike from next to yours.
“I’ll make sure you don’t fall or embarrass yourself, my love.” He leaned over and kissed your temple as you grabbed your alcohol filled bottle and a water filled one as well and stuck them in your basket. “Alright, let’s…”
“Hey wait!” The girl that asked you to play Piano Man said as she came running out to the road. She smiled at you and held out a pair of pills. “Thank you. For my song.”
“Oh, no, you don’t have to…”
“Take them.” She giggled as she grabbed your hand and put the two pills in your palm. “Happy Burn.” You nodded at her and looked over at Jeff with a smile.
“Just don’t think.” You said as you put a pill on your tongue, grabbed the back of his head, and kissed him roughly. You could feel him tense up the slightest bit as you pushed the pill between his lips with your tongue, but after a moment, he loosened up, and let you give him the ecstasy. 
“What kinda bad influence are you?” He laughed as you popped your pill in your mouth and followed it with a swig of your drink.
“One that you love.” You cooed as you straddled your bike and put your feet on the pedals. “You coming?”
“I guess I am.” He sighed as he got on his bike and briefly wobbled after you before he gained his confidence and pulled up to your side. “Thank you for not letting me back out.”
“Well look at it this way now.” You said as you grabbed your head lamp from the basket, switched it on, and put it on your head. “I just did ecstasy and am headed out to la Playa at prime time in Burning Man time in a bathing suit.”
“Yea, and if you walk more than five feet away from me at any point in time, I’ll take you to Europe, steal all of your things, and leave you there for a week to fend for yourself.”
“Oh, that sounds dangerous.” You teased as you pulled into the center of Black Rock City. You rode over to where a group of bikes and parked yours in the line with the rest, making sure to lock the wheel to the frame just in case someone drunkenly confused your bike with theirs.
“I don’t dance.” Jeff yelled at you over the music.
“You don’t have to.” You laughed as you laced your arm with his and pointed the farthest camp on the edge. “How about we start there and work our way down the line until the E kicks on?” With a nod, he reached out for your hand and laced his fingers with yours to walk with you. It only took about an hour for the drugs to kick in, and in that time you had been gifted a rubber bracelet for the event because you had pretty hair, a few glow stick bracelets and necklaces which made you realize you forgot yours in the RV, and more than a few shots and drinks. And as you were talking to someone about your time in Juilliard, and disagreeing with them on why your Burning Man nickname should not be ‘Keys’, you realized that Jeff was lost in his roll and the softness of your skin on the back of your neck.
“You OK?” You laughed at him when you had a moment break in the conversation.
“Why is your skin so soft?”
“Because you’re high, baby.” You laughed before saying a quick ‘see you later, come see us’ so you could hunt down your bikes before you got lost in the sensation, too.
“You’re back quick.” Dana said as you pulled up to the campsite and got off your bike.
“Yep.” Kenzie, who was sitting right next to her took one look at you before sitting up and turning to the group.
“OK, someone needs to turn the music up right now so we don’t have to hear them fuck!”
“God, you’re impossible.” You laughed as you headed in to the RV with Jeff’s hand in yours, while the people under your tent cheered for you. The second the door closed behind you, you kissed your boyfriend and walked him back to the king sized bed, closing the door only a couple seconds before your clothes hit the floor.
“Fuck, baby girl.” Jeff sighed when he got you completely undressed, and laid out on the blankets. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You know, I’m honestly surprised you lasted the entire week.” You admitted to Jeff, as he held the door to room one of four suites so you and your friends could shower off and have a good night sleep before you flew home. He huffed at you as your friends all tiredly headed into their rooms beside and across the hall from you to shower and wash off the six layers of dirt and catch up the dozens of hours of missed sleep.
“That is only because I wasn’t leaving my gorgeous girlfriend alone in the desert with that many drugs, and that many naked people.” You snorted a laugh through your nose, dropped your purse on the floor just inside the door, and kicked off your shoes in opposite directions on the way to the shower. “Hey, who said you could go first?”
“I will kill you if you think you are getting in before me.” You growled as you pulled off your clothes and got into the shower. “Get in here and help me.” You whined as you stood out of the way of the shower spray and turned the water on.
“So needy.” He huffed as he stripped out of his clothes and stepped in the shower in front of you. With a content sigh, you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his chest.
“This is all I need in life anymore.” You told him as you watched dirty water wash through and around the soft hairs on his chest. You adjusted your cheek and sighed once more as he grabbed a bar of soap and washed you off in lazy circles.
“Move in with me.” Those four words made your stomach flip as you looked up at the first man that had ever made you feel worth while, and nodded your head without needing to give the proposition any thought otherwise. 
“I’m taking a long nap first.” You replied with a smirk as you laid your head back down on his chest.
“I think that can be arranged, baby girl.”
The next two weeks of your life was a complete whirlwind as you packed up all your belongings, moved across Central Park to Jeff’s Upper East Side home, and helped Chelsea move out of the four bedroom hell hole she lived in with 3 total wack jobs and a horrible landlord since she spent half the time sleeping on your couch as is, and into your old room. But just as you were getting everything settled, you caught some kind of stomach bug that turned out to be something way more serious.
Jeff stood pin straight still, and dead silent, as you both stared at the door of the hospital room you were in- a trip you made because he couldn’t take one more night of you throwing up and writhing on the bathroom floor in pain. You had no idea what he was thinking, but then again, neither did he. You were both just absolutely terrified.
“Are they OK?” You both asked the second the doctor walked into the room.
“Let’s just take a look, OK?” He said with a reassuring smile. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him as every single drug you took in Black Rock City ran like a bad movie in your head. You reached out for Jeff at the same moment he took a step toward you, as the doc grabbed the ultrasound wand. You actually held your breath as he located the two side by side blobs and nodded his head.
“They look fine.” You exhaled forcefully and burst into fear and joy fill tears, as Jeff sat down in the chair next to you in relief. “Two healthy babies.”
“We did a lot of drugs.” Jeff said as he worried your hand between his as he stared at the monitor. “And a lot of drinking at Burning Man...” 
“And all I can say on that is get in touch with an OBGYN, and disclose everything. I won’t lie to you, there could be some consequences, but I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I’ve seen drug addicts who used everyday of their pregnancy and had perfectly functioning, otherwise healthy babies. I’d just refrain from any and all alcohol consumption and drug use.”
“Oh absolutely.” You said with a nod as you took the two photos he handed you and held the delicately in your hands. “I’ll do everything by the book.”
“Just don’t worry to much about what you did. Focus on what you can do for them now.” You nodded your head and took the paper script from him, which Jeff took from you right after. “Something to help with the nausea. And I’ll have the nurse bring in a list of some OBGYN’s in town for you as well.”
“Thank you, doc.” Jeff said with a nod as he stood up and shook the man’s hand. “We appreciate it.” With another nod, the doctor left the room to go about his day, and you looked up at the father of your children and started to cry.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” He shushed you softly and shook his head as he leaned down to wrap you in a hug.
“It’s ok, baby girl.” He whispered as he held you to his shoulder with his hand on the back of your head. “I’m not mad. It’s OK now. We’ll all be OK.” You nodded for a second before your stomach rolled, and you practically shoved him away to grab the vomit bag the nurse had given you to get sick in. “It’s OK.” He repeated as he gently rubbed your back and picked up the ultrasounds from your lap to look at them in complete disbelief. “We’re all gunna be alright.”
——
Jeff didn’t speak to you for three days after you got home, other than to check to see how you were feeling, and to remind you he loved you every night as you walked out of the living room to the master bedroom without him, which was unusual for him, since you usually went to bed together. On the fourth night, you got fed up with laying in his bed, waiting for the man that you had fallen head over heels in love with, the father of your children, and grabbed your pillow and the blanket to head down to the guest bedroom. You made it almost all the way to the door, when it opened toward you. Jeff stopped for a moment and looked at you with eyes full of concern, as you hiked the blankets and your pillow up a little more. 
“No.” He said simply with a shake of his head, as if it were the answer to all of your problems.
“No, you no!” You snapped back as tears welled in your eyes. “I’m going…”
“I always wanted kids.” He sighed as he stepped in front of you and pulled the blanket out of your arms to put it back on the bed. “Hillarie couldn’t conceive. And the few times she did, we miscarried before the end of the first trimester.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you know that fear doesn’t go away?” He asked as he walked you around to your side of the bed. “Fear that you’re going to blink and everything is going to be ripped away from you, that doesn’t just go away.” He sighed as he pulled off his shoes and carefully laid you down on the bed so he could get in behind you. As if you were China doll about to break, he scooted up behind you as close as he could, and gently wrapped his arm under yours across your chest. 
“(Y/N), I’m so sorry I’ve pulled away from you. It is absolutely not your fault, or the fact that you are pregnant. I love you so fucking much and I need you with me every fucking day for the rest of my life. And now I need our kids just as much, but I’m fucking terrified. I can’t… I can’t…”
“I’m scared too.” You whispered as you pulled his arm even closer to you. “What if I fucked them up?”
“Then we will figure it out together, baby.” He sighed as he hugged you a little tighter. “I’m sorry I pulled away. I needed a minute and I never should have taken it silently without telling you what I was doing. That was not fair to you. I’ve just never been good at handling hard life shit.” You shook your head in agreement and sniffled as your tears fell on his arms and your pillow. “I’m sorry. Forgive me…” You nodded your head and rolled over to face him, and he held you to his chest as his own tears welled in his eyes.
“Just tell me it’s gunna be OK.” You sobbed as you held on to his shirt so he wouldn’t leave when you voiced your insecurities. “Tell me I didn’t kill our babies at stupid fucking Burning Man or that they aren’t going to end up blind, or with only one limb between them….”
“No, shhh…” He tried with a shake of his head as he realized that you were dealing with different versions of his same fears about the situation. “Our babies are going to be just fine. Unless they’re boys… then we’re both screwed.”
“No, I want boys!” You whined as he leaned back enough to kiss your forehead and wipe away your tears for you.
“Then we are going to have two, healthy boys, that have all ten fingers and all ten toes each, in their right places, on the right babies. And they’re gunna be smart, and handsome, and funny, and…”
“Perfect?” He nodded his head as he moved his hand to your stomach with as big of smile as his nervous self could handle.
“They will be perfect.”
——
“OK, you understand that I’m supposed to be peacefully resting at home, right? Not looking at new houses…”
“You’ve taken over my closet.” Jeff laughed as he held the elevator door open on the fourth floor of the millionth condo you had seen in the past six week. “And it’ll only be a matter of time before you start taking over the one in the guest bedroom. Besides my place is more of a bachelor pad still. It’s not really kid friendly…”
“I know what you’re doing.” You said as you stopped in front of 4B and turned around to look at him as you put your hand on your back and cocked your eyebrow at him. You pointed at the bump that officially stuck out past your boobs and shook your head. “We made it to the second trimester. You don’t need to distract yourself...”
“But we still need a bigger house.” He chuckled as he leaned towards you to knock at the door. “One that you can decorate for our family and not my assistant for my tastes.”
“Whatever.” You huffed as you turned toward Jeff’s real estate agent, Mark. “So? Let’s hear it.”
“Four beds, three and a half baths.” Mark started as he walked backwards into the living room. “Thirty five hundred square feet, and washer and dryer in the unit.”
“Big kitchen?” You asked as you curled your lip at the hideous purple painted book shelf in the study to your left off the living room. “Eww…”
“Big kitchen.” Mark agreed as Jeff followed you around, taking mental notes about the things he would need to change for you to make this the house you wanted to start your family in since he didn’t mind one bit where he lived as long as you were there with him.
“God, who designed this place?” You asked as you turned around and looked at weird, bell shaped light on the far side of the open concept room in what had to be the dining room. “Schools?”
“7, 2, and 8 out of 10.” He said as he looked at his notebook to get the answers to the questions he knew you were going to ask since he had been working with you for a few weeks. “The building was built in 1906 and was last coded in 2019. Been on the market five days and it’s already seen three people.” You shook your head as you peaked into the half bath and the walk in pantry across the way, before heading into the absolutely gorgeous white and grey kitchen, thats only blemish was the colored cushions on the bench in the breakfast nook in the corner, and more of the same strange gold bell lamp shades. 
“This could be a play room.” Jeff said as he looked at the den that backed the kitchen.
“You have another closet back there. And the laundry room with a sink is over there.” You nodded your head and glanced down the hall that lead to the bedrooms, as Jeff came up behind you with a smirk.
“You are poker facing awful hard, baby girl.”
“Other than paint, and changing light fixtures, I love it, but I’m not telling him that.” Your love huffed and nodded his head as you walked over to look at the actual laundry room with a sink, cabinets, and counter space, and the large walk in closet.
“It also has 3-zone central AC, a humidification system, and radiant-heated floors in the bathrooms. And it has a part time doorman, a live-in super, more added storage, and a bike room. The walk score is 98, and transit is 100. Now I think is the cutest part of the house is this room right here. I know Mr. Morgan said you were having twins, and this is perfect already if they are girls, or it can be painted for boys…”
“Oh, wow.” You said as your facade slipped for only a moment when you saw the built in bookshelves on one wall, and the already built in bunk beds next to the long closet on the other. You glanced up at Jeff with a smirk you couldn’t control, and he kissed your forehead in silent confirmation.
“What are they asking?”
“$5,375,000.” Jeff whistled as you looked at the similar room across the hall, that had the same bookshelves on one wall but a small ensuite on the other wall. 
“HOA?”
“It’s a little higher than the rest.” Mark said as he followed you and Jeff through the second to last bedroom, and the bath that it shared with the room with the bunk beds. “$5,018”
“Can you give us a minute?” Jeff asked as you stepped into the last room, the master bedroom.
“You may not have enough room in this closet either, baby.”
“Finally found one you like?” You finally let your smile show, and nodded your head as you turned on the wood floors that ran through all of the bedrooms toward him. He sighed and put his hands on your hips with a small smile that made your heart melt and your stomach flip. “Do you want it?”
“Do you?” He nodded his head and searched your eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath.
“I’m gunna say the same thing I said to Hillarie when I bought our first house. This house will be our house, until the day comes when you don’t want me here anymore, which hopefully is never. But if that day comes, this house will still be yours, and our kids, for the rest their lives… unless you cheat on me, or if you attempt to steal money from me, which yes, it is possible, because I watched my ex-wife try to do it. Not saying you would, but I still need to lay the rules out…”
“Wait… you’re giving me a house?”
“No.” He chuckled as he moved his hands to the small of your back to hug you. “I’m buying us a house, that I’m going to put your name on as well, so that we both know that you and our children will always be taken care of. Because you are the real love of my life… and I need to know that you are safe.” You couldn’t help yourself but to start crying, and his smile simply grew more as he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Wanna walk through it one more time to make sure you really love it?”
“Yes…”
“Well go on then.” He chuckled before giving you a chaste kiss. “I’m going to talk price and see if I can get them to do a short sale so we can get in here and get that purple book shelf painted…”
“Eww and change those horrid light shades, please!”
“We can find some new light shades, sweetheart.”
“Hey baby!” You called out before he could walk out of the room. “Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
“Anything for you, baby girl.” You blew him a kiss and turned to look at the small white and bronze accented bathroom, that would have to have to be redone in some actual color, before heading back over to the bedroom with the bunk beds.
“This is gunna be your room one day, babies.” You whispered as you rubbed your bump and looked down at your babies as the reality that they would never have to live the life you did growing up caught up with you. You started to cry again as you looked up at a giant giraffe stuffed animal the owners kids owned, and choked on your tears with a laugh. “God, and I promise I will never buy you two something so tacky.”
——
“OK, this is just not fucking fair.” Dana said as she walked into your new, freshly painted, co-decorated, slightly remodeled home for your gender reveal. “This place could fit my house like ten times over!”
“She looked at about a million and one to find this one.” Jeff teased as he took the giant basket she was carrying from her.
“What’s in the basket?” You asked as you pushed the front door closed and took a step toward your boyfriend, only to have him turn away and Dana step in front of you.
“You can open it later.” She laughed as she turned you around and pushed you into your living room. “Now show me around. Be a good hostess before everyone else gets here.”
“Oh, Jesus I can’t even… You’re so needy!”
“Oh, I know! It’s so hard to be a good host.” She laughed back as she followed you to the kitchen, where you had dozens of finger foods and desserts in pink and blue.
“OK, wait. You have to place your vote.” You said as you pointed to the dry erase board you had borrowed from her office. “Two boys, two girls, or one of each. And then you have to wear the beads.”
“Oh, I like it!” She said as she lifted the two strands of blue beads from around your neck. “You want boys?”
“Oh, I need boys.” You said as you held out a few dry erase markers for her to choose. “Dana, we’re girls. Do you remember how much trouble we got in to?”
“Yea, but so do boys.” She pointed out as she drew a mark under the one boy, one girl column and picked up one of each necklace.
“Yes, but boys listen to their mothers.” You reminded her as you want over and grabbed a glass of blue raspberry lemonade and a blue straw from the table of the breakfast nook. “Come on, you have to see the boy’s room.”
“What if it’s one and one?”
“Then I guess I’m just going to have to recreate the room on the other side? I don’t know. I do know that I’ve grown to hate this purplish pinkish bleck shade they had in here…”
“Oh, that’s really cool. But I see about the color, this is awful.”
“So this one shares a bathroom with the one next door. And the one across the hall has an ensuite so it’s the guest room. And our room is next to that…”
“Oh, let me see the remodel you did with that. You changed the bathroom, right?”
“OK, so first, you have to see the final product so I can show you how we changed it because the way they set this up is just asinine.”
“What did they…”
“Who makes a master bathroom five feet wide and thinks that’s OK?” You asked as you stepped into the master suite and pushed open the bathroom door. “So this wall stopped here and we pushed it out into one of the two closets the undecided room had and doubled the size. And then I added the tub because I needed it.”
“I like this color.” She said as she touched the dark teal accent wall behind the mirror.
“I used the same one on the bookshelf in the study because I liked it so much.” You said with a nod. “We also pushed this wall into the walk in because Jeff still has his closet space out here and I didn’t need that much space, so that few feet gave us just the amount of room we needed.” Dana nodded and turned toward you with a smile.
“Are you happy, (Y/N)? Like not because of the physical possessions… does he make you happy?” You smiled and nodded your head as you put your hand on your 20 week along bump.
“Dana, I’m pretty sure I would die without him in my life. I have never loved someone the way I love Jeff.” Her smile grew as she stepped forward and put her hands on either side of your stomach.
“Then I know I made the right choice in calling you back that day.” You nodded your head as Jeff called your name from outside the door, and you looked over at him with a smile.
“My mom just got here. Are you done touring?”
“Where did your beads go, mister?” You asked as you turned toward him and followed him out of your room. 
“Mom votes with me that they are both girls so I gave them to her.” He laughed as he reached out for your hand just long enough to pull you to the side to put his hand on the small of your back.
“And you know I’m going to keep giving you shit until you put them back on, Daddy.” You cooed as you grabbed two pink bead necklaces and held them out to him. “Or you can sleep on the couch, far far away from Mommy and the boys.”
“See, I like her already.”
“Thanks Mom.” Jeff laughed as he put his necklaces on and turned you around to the food covered island. “Sweetheart, this is my mom, Sandy. Mom, the love of my life, mother of daughters…”
“Sons.” You laughed as you stepped forward to the grandmother of your children. “(Y/N). It’s so nice to finally meet you, Sandy.”
“Oh, please. It’s Mom.” She said sweetly as she gestured to your bump. “May I?”
“Absolutely!” You laughed as you reached out for her hands and pulled her a step closer. “You’ve got the soccer player down here, and the long jumper that uses my ribs as a jumping board up here. I say they have to be boys because like two nights ago, they got into what felt like a slap fight against my bladder and I feel like only boys would be that rude to their mother in the middle of the night.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” She laughed as she rubbed your bump through the knee length blue and pink splattered, off the shoulder dress that was tight against your body and had a long, loose ruffle around the top. “If they are boys, I hope for your sake they are nothing like their father because he was a wild child.”
“Oh, really!” You squealed as you refilled your cup and picked up a pink chocolate covered strawberry, while Jeff whined ‘Mom’ on his way to go get the door. “Please, I am begging you to tell me more.”
“Oh, honey I will never run out of stories about my Jeffrey. Like this one time…”
“Mom!” Jeff said as he walked back into the kitchen behind Chelsea and Kate, and couple of Jeff’s friends that you had only meet a few times before. “Don’t start!”
“Oh, I’ll start alright.” She laughed with a shake of her head. “I have to pre-warn her what she’s getting into with Morgan boys.” You laughed with her as Jeff simply shook his head and went to get the door again, and Dana quickly jumped on the train to get more stories about the father of your child with you. Since you had no representation of family, you shared your own embarrassing childhood stories as your friends and his came together to celebrate the lives you created. You played cheesy games, and ate probably way to many sweets, until Jeff’s assistant, Rebecca got there a little late with two large black balloons for Baby A and Baby B.
“OK, let’s see what the final vote is before we pop these suckers.” Jeff called out over the slight hum of voices in the living room and kitchen as he pointed to the two balloons Rebecca was putting in the arch way between the living and dining room. One of the men that worked in Jeff’s New York office, Jason, grabbed the white board for you and carried it out to the dinner table, where the presents that people had brought to make the last couple months of your pregnancy a little more enjoyable were.
“So we have eight for boy boy.” You said as you looked at all the tallies on the board. “Which is the right team, by the way…”
“Thirteen for girl girl, the winning team.” Jeff interrupted with a playful glare.
“You are are just mistaken.” You giggled. “And fourteen for both. So Baby B is the one up by my ribs, and Baby A is right now down by my left hip. So we’ll obviously start with A. Thanks, Bex.” You said as you took the balloon and a sewing needle from her. “You wanna?”
“No, pop away, my love.” Jeff said as he moved the balloon between you so that you could both be in the photos Kenzie had been taking for you all afternoon. You and your party guests counted down from three, and hesitated for only a second before hitting the black latex with the sharp tip. You cheered excitedly as blue confetti rained down on your head and floated down on your hardwood floors.
“Ok, so this one better be a girl.” Jeff mockingly complained as he took the string from you and traded it for the next balloon.
“If it is a girl, she’s a badass with the way she’s beating up on her brother.” You laughed as you handed him the pin. “But it’s gunna be another boy.”
“Wrong.” He laughed before starting the next count down. You actually held your breath, hoping in that moment that it was a girl for his sake, and you shrieked happily when the destroyed latex released its pink confetti over the blue.
“We got one of both.” You said with a smile as Jeff cupped your jaw with his hands.
“A Daddy’s girl and a Mama’s boy.” He said with a nod. “We’re both screwed.”
“Yea we are.” You laughed as you stood up on your tip toes and kissed him softly. “A boy and a girl… sorry baby, we gotta do even more painting.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh, God, is this really necessary?” You whined as you stepped in to a white and black polka dot sleeveless, halter gown to go to a charity event for one of the foundations Jeff was a part of.
“I’m sorry, but it is.” Jeff said with a nod as he pulled your dress up to your hips where you could reach it without bending over around your substantial 32 week along bump. “It’s a once a year dinner that I have to go to, and you said you wanted to go…”
“Yea, I know.” You sighed as you turned around so he could zip you up. “But I was obviously delirious, running on more sleep, and probably half the size I am now.”
“And you still look just as beautiful to me, baby.” He said sweetly to keep you calm like he usually did as he turned you around toward him with a smile. “I love you… and I know Jett and Jace are both thankful you are carrying them…”
“Yea, I know you think that.” You huffed as a small smile pulled at your cheeks. “But I think these two are ungrateful, hate monsters that can’t keep their arms and legs inside the moving vehicle.” Jeff laughed whole heartedly as he knelt down and slipped your wedge sandals on your feet for you.
“You’re almost there, baby girl. 36 weeks was your goal…”
“Just make it go faster.” You sighed as you put your cell phone on silent and handed it to him to carry so you didn’t have to bring a purse. He put it in his inside jacket pocket with your tissues (because everything made you cry now a days), your lip gloss, and a bag of goldfish in case you got hungry before dinner was served.
“Make it through dinner, and we’re one more day closer.” He said in a sing song voice as he turned you toward the door and gave you a gentle push in that direction. You grumbled at him under your breath as you adjusted your belly band under your dress, and headed down stairs. “It’ll be over before you know it, sweetheart.” He placated over your continued grumbling when your car pulled up in front the Ritz in Manhattan. With one last grumble, you lost the pout and forced a smile on your face as he and his driver, Jonathan, helped you out of the car.
“Oh, you look so big!” “When are you due?!” “Twin’s, that sounds like a lot of work!” “Oh, you have to use cloth diapers, they are so much better for the babies.” “A tiny thing like you is going to have a lot of fun pushing those babies out.”
“OK!” Jeff said quickly before you knocked the woman that was reaching out for your bump on her ass. “Let’s go find our seats and get you off your feet.”
“Why do people think it’s acceptable to touch me?”
“Because people are weird.” He laughed as he guided you around a chair that had been left pulled out.
“Jeffrey Dean!” You stopped walking as a woman stood up on the far side of the table in front of you, and Jeff’s hand gripped the back of your dress when she started walking toward you.
“Hillarie.”
“The Hillarie?” You asked with a glance back up at him. He nodded his head and rubbed your back as he cleared his throat.
“What can I do for you, Hillarie?”
“Oh, nothing, I just… oh! You’re… pregnant.” You nodded your head and put your hand on your bump as she smirked between you and her ex. “You finally caved and went with a sperm donor…”
“Good night, Hillarie…” Jeff tried as he gave you a gentle push to the right, but his ex side stepped and blocked your path.
“No, I’m sorry. That’s rude of me.” She giggled with the fakest smile you had ever seen. “You seem like a nice young thing. I bet you found a man to knock you up and went after Jeff for the money, didn’t you?”
“Excuse me?!”
“That’s enough, Hillarie!”
“I mean you are huge and, let’s face it, we both know Jeff’s sperm are way to old to be a viable option…”
“I’m sorry.” You interrupted as your whole body started to shake. “I think I missed the memo saying that your opinion about my children and their father mattered to anyone but yourself.” She cocked her eyebrow at you as you reached back for Jeff’s hand with a very forced smile. “And I’m even more sorry that you decided to cheat on him and pass up on mind blowing sex. Not that it’s any of your business, but I can promise you that he is responsible for my huge stomach. He’s responsible for making me happy, and he’s responsible for making me forget my own name every night.” Hillarie looked shocked at your retort as you stepped back the other way and up to her side with a smile. “Oh, and thank you for talking to him. Now I know I’ll go to bed wore out as we both attempt to forget you are still in Manhattan and so he can welcomingly remind me the seasoned man he is and exactly who fathered my babies.” You took a step back and smiled at her once more as the exhausted vindictiveness washed over you.
“And I’m sorry that you weren’t capable of getting pregnant. But obviously… that’s not Jeff’s fault.”
“OK, let’s go find our seats, baby girl.” Jeff said quickly as he stepped between you and his ex with an uncontrollable satisfied smirk on his face. “Good night, Hillarie.” You heard her growl behind you as you were led away, and you glanced up at Jeff for a moment. “You did fine.” He chuckled before you could even ask.
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place… really, they’re starting with salad.”
“Just start with the salad so you don’t rip anyone else’s head off.” He laughed as he pulled your chair out at the first table in the middle row of the room.
“And for that, I’m eating yours too.” You huffed with a smile as you put your napkin on your lap, and turned your attention to the rest of the people at the table, who were thankfully people that you knew from Jeff’s New York office that had attended your gender reveal, or would be attending your baby shower the next day. “Growing babies is tough work. Can’t be done on just greens.”
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fertilitasetmortem · 4 years ago
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(( to Virgo )) "Have fun, have standards hunting, sweetheart."
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“oh, mother, don’t fret over me. i’ve got an expensive taste.”
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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 2 years ago
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Do you have any fics where Scott is super protective of stiles?
Sure.
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Ain't Sayin' He's a Gold Digger by taylorpotato
(42/42 I Explicit I 0 I Steter
Peter and Stiles hook up on a sugar daddy dating website. Here's the ensuing love story, told through chat screenshots and text messages.
It's fine, there's two beds... But there are three of us by eimik169
(1/? I 963 I General I No Pairing)
Scott and Derek need to go take care of some werewolf stuff and Stiles decides to join. That's fine with Scott, not so much with Derek. Especially when they arrive and Stiles decides to solve his problem in a way that's typical for him - without really thinking about it first.
The Sun Will Shine On Us Again by 015wayward_winchester
(1/1 I 2,650 I Not Rated I No Pairing)
Stiles has the disease. There’s one possible cure becoming a werewolf.
An Alpha's Sacrifice by OhanaHoku 
(1/1 I 5,148 I Teen I No Pairing)
After Deucalion dies, Scott decides he's had enough. When he gives the ultimate sacrifice to keep his pack safe, his pack is left to fall apart without their alpha. It's a good thing Stiles made him a promise.
Parallels by inatshej
(1/1 I 22,299 I Explicit I Sterek)
Stiles slowly pulls in a mouthful of curly fries, dumbly focused on the task. ''It's weirdly homoerotic how you do this,'' muses Derek, eyeing him. Stiles chokes and Derek's lips curl up into an almost smile. It's so easy to get the reaction he wants from Stiles. ''Yeah, it's disgusting, Stilinski,'' says Jackson, looking at the boy with distaste. Derek turns to him, letting his eyebrows rise. ''And who asked you, Whittemore?'' Jackson glances at him, surprised. ''I've just agreed with y-'' ''No one cares,'' Derek interrupts him. ''Fuck off.''
Oves Meae by BlackSky83
(17/18 I 52,132 I General I No Pairing)
He is not like Stiles and Lydia, both geniuses, who would probably have a plan within seconds. He is not Jackson or Alisson, both ruthless in their own way. He is not Derek. He is not Peter. He is not Malia. Or Kira. Or Aiden. Or Isaac. Or...Or...
Quite honestly, he knows he was probably the worst choice.
(But he was the only choice.)
He is Scott McCall, not as intelligent, not as ruthless, not as experienced. He already failed once.
He is Scott McCall, the Alpha of his pack, and he will make damn sure they all survive this time.
(He will become whatever he needs to, to protect is pack.)
The New Normal by midnightcas
(27/27 I 63,392 I Teen I Sterek)
After Stiles gets hurt...again, Derek puts him on the metaphorical supernatural bench. Meanwhile, Stiles tries to have a normal life and make normal friends. But when a new pack comes to town and the Hales start getting threats, things start to get a little....not normal.
Life's (Kate's) a bitch and then you (she) dies by Littleredridinghunter
(20/20 I 320,463 I Not Rated I Sterek)
While everyone is busy saving Jackson, Stiles is taking a beating in the Argent's basement. When his dad gets hurt, he leaves a note for Scott that he is getting away from everything and to never contact him again. Too bad Scott and the pack take him at his word.... One year later and they finally see Stiles again but it isn't a happy reunion. Can they repair all the damage that has been caused in their time apart?
AND
@spikeface suggested we check out @dailyscottficrec for more Scott-centric fics!
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painfullythickimagines · 7 years ago
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Imagine going to your divorce lawyer, Tom, for the fourth time. He loves to tease you about the men you marry, joking that someday he’ll have enough money to pique your interest. Until then, he’s content in drafting your divorce settlements, all the while describing all the ways he can satisfy you like none of your husbands ever could.
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Extended Imagine here.
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badsciencejokes · 3 years ago
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I ain't sayin she's a gold digger,
But she ain't messin with no broke chickens.
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savagesimsnaps · 7 years ago
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Nonononono!  This cannot be happening!  
I’m sorry baby.
No.  Like...this literally cannot be happening.  We haven’t woohoo’d since Dennis was born.
Oh well we must have because-
NO!  WE HAVEN’T!
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endreal · 3 years ago
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No, no, no! I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger. Are you even paying attention???
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corg-crossing · 3 years ago
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Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger-
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balsamina · 8 years ago
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“Ah, my dashing thief… You are welcome to join me in Paradise whenever you please.”
Romantic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeSexual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeAesthetic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme Sensual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme
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buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years ago
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Ain’t Sayin’ She’s a Gold Digger: Part 3
Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Negan x Sugar Baby!Reader
Warnings: Sugar baby relationship, swearing
Word Count: 3,343
Part 1 / Part 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“OK, do you know what I think sounds much more fun than watching you work right now?” You asked from the bed as you rolled on to your stomach on the sheets toward where Jeff was working at the desk in the master bedroom.
“Playing the piano some more?” He asked without looking away from his laptop. You smirked and shook your head as you set the book you grabbed from the main room’s collection aside, pulled your knees up to your chest, and sat up.
“Well I can do that any time.” You giggled as you pulled off your night gown and tossed it toward the desk by his left elbow. He startled the slightest bit when it hit him, and he turned around to look at you with his eyebrow raised as you shot your underwear at him like a sling shot. “When else am I going to be able to skinny dip on the top of a cruise ship?” You turned on your heel with a giant smile and headed over to the veranda doors without a look back. “You coming or is work more fun to you?” He grumbled ‘Goddamn’ under his breath as you turned the corner and headed up the stairs to the small hot tub. The water felt absolutely perfect as you stepped into it, and Jeff finally joined you when you got the jets figured out and turned on. “Oh, no!” You said with a shake of your head as you moved in front of the stairs and shook your head as he set down a pair of robes from the closet. “This is a no clothing zone.”
“Yea, I’m still not fucking walking around with my dick out.” He laughed as he glanced over his shoulder before taking off his boxers and quickly getting into the hot tub.
“OK, who the fuck is gunna see you up here?” You laughed as you sat down in the seat next to him and put your legs across his lap. “The birds? I hear they are huge gossips.” You squeaked a laugh when he tickled your sides and pouted at him when he stopped.
“Gentlemen my age aren’t meant to skinny dip…”
“Huh? What does that even mean?” You asked as you threw your hair up in a messy bun on top of your head.
“You have tattoos?” He asked as he tilted his head a bit to see the tattoo that ran down your rib cage. You glanced down at it and nodded your head as you sat up so you could turn toward him a bit.
“The first song mama Beth taught me on the piano was Hallelujah. She wasn’t having none of that Twinkle Twinkle shit with her… with her own kid.” You sniffled and shrugged your shoulders. “So she taught me her favorite song. And it was the song that got me into Juilliard… well, sort of…”
“Story?” He asked gently as he slowly dragged the tips of his fingers up and down your shin.
“Well… OK, here’s the thing.” You started as you got comfortable in your spot and shifted the jet toward a small knot in your back a little more. “So if you haven’t realized by now, I am not normal. In any sort of capacity.”
“Nooo….” He sassed, teasingly. “You don’t say?”
“Shut up.” You laughed as you flicked a bit of water at him. “Its more fun to live life outside the box. So when I sent in my audition tape, I did the most stereotypical classical song you could think of. Beethoven. Bleck. But it got me through to the auditions so yay. But when I got into the practice room before the auditions and was warming up, I heard one of the ladies who worked at my… second? Maybe third group home say ‘don’t be afraid to be different’. Now, she had been talking about how I went through a phase when I was 13 of wearing bright, clashing colors every day because I thought it looked cool. But it just kinda changed my thinking that day. So I went into my audition and mashed up Hallelujah and Can’t Help Falling in Love, because it was playing on my iPod when I walked in to Juilliard, on the spot. Took me the full thirty minutes to figure out how to do it, but I did it. And it got me in.” Jeff sat silently for a moment, really taking in your story in a way you didn’t see, before he nodded his head.
“Where have you been all my life?”
“Disney gift shop.” You responded with a smile as you pointed at the water color Stitch outline on your hip. He smiled and slid his hand up to brush his thumb across the ink, before moving his hand to a more respectful place on your leg.
“My tattoos were all decisions made by a much younger man.” He laughed as he picked up your legs a bit so he could turn toward you.
“Yay stories!” He laughed again and nodded as he situated your legs on his lap again. He went one by one, showing you all five of his tattoos, and giving you an insight you had to assume not many people saw of the millionaire. You were absolutely enthralled with this man, and the more you listened, the more you wanted to know. And the more you got to know him, the more you wondered how it was possible that this man was single.
“Hey, Jeff.” You breathed as you used your and his legs to scoot closer to him. “How come… well… how come you’re a Sugar Daddy?”
“That’s…” He started as he looked out at the star splattered sky and the open ocean in front of the bow of the boat. “That’s a story for another day.”
“OK.” You whispered softly with a nod as you turned on the bench so you were right next to him and laid your head on his shoulder. “I have time to wait.” You felt him nod his head as he kissed the top of yours, before he rested his cheek on your head and looked back out at the stars.
“You are too good for me, sweetheart.”
“No, I’m not.” You giggled as you snuggled into his side. “I’m apparently just as fucked up as you are.” He huffed and nodded his head again as you both pointed to a shooting star at the same time.
“No, sweetheart. You are perfect.”
——
You had no idea where time went those next two weeks. Between the ten different ports in three different countries, and trying to learn as much as you could about the cruise experience as a whole so Jeff knew his company was exceeding his expectations of his company. Even though you knew he had work to do, you still couldn’t help yourself but be a flirtatious distraction just to see the smile that you could tell felt foreign to him.
“What, do you think you’re permanently stealing my shirt?” Jeff asked as he came out of the bathroom with a towel in his hands, barely covering himself up to tease you. You did a double take as you put your freshly cleaned clothes in one of the three harder side suitcases you bought before the trip. You glanced down at the shirt you had stolen from his part of the closet on the first or second night, and nodded your head.
“This is now mine.” You said with a smile as you dropped your jewelry bag on top of the first full suitcase and closed the top. “I’d just give up on thinking you’re getting it back… hey…” He hummed and looked up at you with his eyebrow raised as he stopped drying off his hair, and you tilted your head to the side like a lost puppy. “What’s wrong?”
“We need to talk.” Your stomach dropped to your toes as you nodded your head in total understanding.
“OK.” You whispered with a tight smile. “It’s OK, I understand. You… you don’t have to fly me back private.”
“Wait, what?” He asked as he threw the towel around his waist on his way over to where you were standing. “(Y/N), I’m not sending you home, baby girl. I’m trying to tell you that… we may need to renegotiate our arrangement.” You looked over at him as a single tear fell on each cheek. “No, don’t cry. You’re staying with me.”
“Why would you say it like that then, jerk?” You asked as he pulled you into a hug.
“Because I’m not good with the sappy shit.” He chuckled as he kissed the top of your head.
“So rude.” You said with a huffed laugh as you pushed him away. “Go away. I don’t like you right now.”
“Well I guess I’m going to have to send you home after all then.” You rolled your eyes at him and went back to packing your bags as he grabbed the pair of boxers he had left out when he packed while you showered. He hesitated a moment as he watched you set the outfit you were planning on wearing into London aside, and met your eyes when you looked up at him to continue. “My wife left me for another man.” You nodded your head and put down the pile of bras in your hand to walk around the bed to where he was standing.
“I know, honey. Dana told me.”
“Did she tell you I was to old to find another girlfriend?” He asked as he gently wrapped his hands around your upper arms and sat you down on the bed. “Because I am.”
“No.” You huffed as you used your legs to pull him a step closer to you. “No, you are not.”
“Yea, I am.” He sighed as he looked down away from you. “And I travel to much and work to hard…” You interrupted his thoughts before he could even get started by gently placing your fingertip on his chin and adding pressure until he looked at you again.
“Did you know that I’m worthless?” You asked him, honestly. “That I’m not worth anyone’s love. Because my last foster mother told me that every day before I aged out. Did you know that’s why I’m still single? Because just like you, I’ve been waiting for someone to show me that the wait we’ve both had to do was worth it.”
“You’re not worthless…”
“And you’re not old.” You countered as you ran your fingers through his wet curls. “And no, you don’t have to pay me to want to be here with you. You didn’t have to pay me to want to spend time with you at all…”
“I’m…” He started as he looked away again, but he leaned down enough to drop his forehead on yours.
“It’s OK to be scared.” You whispered as you closed your eyes and put your other hand on the back of his neck. “I’m scared that I will never be good enough for you no matter how expensive the clothes you put me in are. After all, I am an orphaned college drop out…”
“No you’re not. I’m the millionaire that is way to old to date anymore…”
“Alright, you’re wrong too, so if the point that you’re trying to make here is you want me to keep traveling with you, I can honestly say that you are never getting any work done again.” He smiled broadly and picked his head up enough to look at you and nodded.
“I think I’ll be OK with that.” Your smile grew with his as he closed the distance between the two of you and captured your lips with his. He pulled back quicker than you would have liked for your first kiss, and your smile turned into a pout as he adjusted his boxers. “What? I have work.”
“The fuck you do!” You laughed as you grabbed his wrist and pulled him back over to you. “You can’t kiss me like that and just walk away.”
“Oh, I’ll do whatever I want to, sweetheart.” He teased as he pushed you down on the bed between your suitcases and clothes. “I’m in charge.”
“No, you think you’re in charge.” You countered as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. “But in reality, I’m the one in charge here.” He hummed and kissed you again with a small nod.
“OK.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello?”
“Dana!” You said with way to much enthusiasm for 7:30 in the morning as you wandered around the Royal Suite of the Ritz Carlton you were staying in for the next few days while Jeff took care of some business he had. “Good, you’re awake. I’m stealing Jeff from you because no one else is allowed to have him ever again.”
“(Y/N)?” She asked hesitantly as she probably looked at her phone. “Where are you? Aren’t you supposed to be on a plane?”
“Well no, not any more. Oh, but you will never guess where I am!”
“You’re interrupting my Bachelor binge so it better be good…”
“I’m in Abu Dhabi.” You finished quickly as you sat down on the chaste lounge chair in the bathroom. “But I don’t wanna talk about that, I wanna talk about Jeff.”
“Of course you do.” She laughed as you turned the chair toward the window where you wanted it to look at the beautiful pool and beach below you.
“OK, one. You said he owned a couple hotels, not that he was the CEO of the freaking Marriott.”
“Didn’t know…”
“Second, and much more importantly, how the hell did his ex wife tell him he was to old to love?”
“She what?”
“Yea, broke his poor heart. My guess is that’s the only reason that he’s been coming to see you. To just pay to have someone not break his heart like that again. D, this man is God’s honest one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met. And funny! Oh, so funny! He had me nearly pissing myself at dinner every night on the cruise. I’ve had more fun in the last two weeks than that time we went to Coney Island and got wasted. You remember that night?”
“Of course I do…”
“And that’s saying something.” You continued over her to get your point out. “And whats more, I was concerned I’d only see the money… I don’t even care! Honestly, I just want to keep spending time with him. Shit, I’d never buy another nice thing in the world if it meant I got to spend more time with him. Dana… Dana this man is perfect. Like he’s a sculpted from the Gods, sweet as homegrown pie, loving, caring, compassionate, selfless piece of sexy as fuck hunk-a man.” Your best friend laughed at your description as you scooted down on the chair a bit more with a smile. “Thank you, Dana.”
“You’re welcome, (Y/N).”
“Guess you’re on your own going to the Bachelor mansion now.” You laughed as you crossed your legs and bounced your foot in the air. “I’ll let you borrow my dresses if you want so you don’t break the bank. OH! And I have my rent. I don’t know when we’re coming back because Jeff has a meeting here today and one in… I think Australia on Thursday, and I think he’s gotta stay in Australia for a bit, but I’m not sure. He told me when he was getting ready for the gym but I was half asleep and drooling. But he put some money in my bank account so I could make sure you weren’t late on bills until I figure out work again…”
“You don’t have to work if you don’t want to.” Jeff said softly as he walked into the bathroom, drenched in sweat from his morning workout. “Hi beautiful. Hi Dana.”
“I’ll Venmo you money later Dana, and Jeff says hi. Gotta shower and go drool some more. Call you from Australia!”
“Bye Jeff. Bye (Y/N). Have fun you traitorous bitch… leaving me in the single world…” With a smile, you said bye once more and hung up the phone to jump in the shower before breakfast.
“So I’m a… hunk-a man?”
“Hell yea you are!” You laughed as you dropped your phone on the lounge chair and reached for his shirt. “You are a bad eavesdropper.”
“Yea, well you were talking pretty loud.” He laughed as he pulled the tie of your robe free and grabbed your waist to pull you closer.
“I’m always loud.” You giggled as you pushed his shorts and boxers down as he walked you backwards across the room to the shower.
“Oh, I fucking know it.” He muttered as you wrapped your hand around his length. He kissed you softly and shook his head as he pulled his hips backs and turned on the water. “Sorry, baby girl. I have a lot of phone calls to make and work to catch up on from being away for two weeks before my meeting.”
“OK.” You said with only a slightly disappointed pout.
“But I know there’s a lot to see around here…”
“Do you care if I go see?” You asked as you stepped under the water and got your hair wet. “I just…. umm… well just in case I can’t come back?”
“(Y/N)…” He said softly as he gently pinched your chin and pulled it down so you would look at him. “Absolutely. I totally understand. Don’t ever feel guilty about experiencing the world if I’m working. As long as we’re together, you can spend whatever money you want, and go and do whatever you want in the cities we’re in. I don’t ever expect you to just sit in the hotel because I have to, OK?”
“OK.” You whispered with a nod of your head. He smirked at you and gave you a chaste kiss before stepping back to wash his body.
“Just give it some time, sweetheart. It’s gunna take some time to get used to my lifestyle, but we’ll get there. Find a routine, that’s the easiest way to do it.” You nodded your head and took the shampoo suds from your hair to wash his as well so you could wrap your arms around his neck.
“You really are too good for me, Jeffrey. Seriously.”
“Nope. That would be you.”
——
Coming back home after a month being away was a bit of a shell shocking experience. Your bedroom seemed way to tiny and was still covered in empty shopping bags and ripped off tags. You didn’t have an issue with the room and your apartment itself, it’s just that you had gotten used to Jeff being around, and it seemed so empty without him.
“You can just set them on the bed.” You sighed as you gestured to the queen sized bed in the corner.
“Bitch, I’m not your maid.” Dana laughed as she dropped the suitcases she helped you carry up on the floor. “You got it.”
“Dana!” You whined as you dropped shopping bags, and the other suitcase on your bed. “I can’t even!”
“Oh, you’ll be fine!” She called out as she headed a few feet down the hall to the kitchen to grab a trash bag. “Come on, let’s get this shit cleaned up so we can find room in that closet of yours for all this fancy shit you got now.”
“I brought you presents.” You said as you started grabbing tags off the bed and shoving them in the trash bag with the shopping bags she was picking up and throwing out. “I grabbed you something from every country I was in.”
“You don’t have to do that, hun.” She laughed as she set aside the tissue paper from the bags, and the shoe boxes to reuse for Christmas and birthday gifts and storage boxes to replace the old ones in her, your, and the hall closets.
“Yea, but I couldn’t help it.” You said as you threw out the last of the tags and grabbed the other suitcases. “There’s a lot of stuff that just screamed ‘you’ so I just had to get it. And it’s for me, too so it all works out in the end.”
“Alright, fine. What is it?” She asked with a laugh as you started digging through the bags.
“OK, we have this from London.” You said as you pulled out and handed her a boxed union jack coffee mug to add to her collection of random coffee mugs. “And this necklace is from Scotland.” You handed her the next small box and turned the slightest bit to point at the box. “It’s made from a Scottish plant and all the necklaces are one of a kind. There’s a little history card in there so you can read about it. And then of course, from Ireland…” You paused for a moment with a giant smirk as you pulled out a large bottle of Irish Whisky. “Shocker. I also grabbed two Avoca throws for the living room for our beds or something from Irelands oldest weaving mill, and a cute coffee table book. I got one from Australia, too.”
“So you went a little crazy.” She laughed as she looked at the two blankets you had set down.
“And then I got this for the dining room from Abu Dhabi. It’s a Turkish lamp but it looks so cool.”
“Oh wow!” She said as you pulled out the three orb hanging lamp from it’s box.
“And I had to get some pashmina’s…”
“Oh so perfect!” She said as you laid out the half dozen scarfs in various colors and patterns on the bed for her to see.
“I figured we could share them so we both have six colors to choose from, and if we like a certain color or pattern more, I can pick another one up if I go back to Abu Dhabi or Dubai or something. And I grabbed a bag of the coffee they had at the hotel because it was AMAZING, and some spices to cook with. I had a lot of time to spend money in Abu Dhabi.” You laughed as you added the empty bag to the trash bag on the floor. “And lastly, Australia; another place I had way to much time to shop in. I grabbed some opals to add to your crystal collection, I got myself a new pair of Ugg boots, some Vegemite because I actually liked it, surprisingly. I don’t know, I’m weird. And then some chocolate, more coffee, some tea, and oh, this awesome bottle of wine we had at dinner.”
“Woman! How much damn money did you spend?!”
“And the last two things…” You said as you pulled out two different stuffed animals held the kangaroo out to her. “I asked Jeff if it was OK, and I adopted a kangaroo in your name and a koala in mine. I got to meet them both, and I have pictures so you can see them too. But they are so cute so I had to adopt them. And you’ll get sent pictures every year to see their rehabilitation and release into the wild. Oh, and I ordered a didgeridoo to put up on my wall that should be in in a few weeks because it was too big to fly so I had to ship it.”
“This new too?” She asked as she hit the Pandora bracelet on your wrist.
“That was Jeff’s idea. So I can remember all the places he’s taken me.”
“You two are so disgusting.” She laughed as she started collecting her presents from the bed to bring them to her room so she could also grab a bottle of wine and help you unpack to hear all the stories she knew you had. “I got the wine and the extra hangers.”
“I’ll start a playlist.” You said as you put your koala stuffed animal on your pillow and pulled out the rest of your souvenirs to put away. You started with your closet and pulled out all of you old work clothes, to pack away in a tote under your bed for future use just in case. Hangers got piled up on the bed and wine got poured as stories started to flow. Dana worked on hanging up your new shirts, and skirts, and made room for shorts and pants on the shelves and in your dresser, while you hung up all of your dresses in your overflow wardrobe, before cleaning out your old makeup and replacing it with the new stuff. Bathing suits went in the box under your bed with your old ones, lingerie went into your dresser, and shoes and purses went in any space you had left, since your bedroom was pretty small and already full of stuff you had collected over the years. But even though it took you two hours to reorganize and put away, you still hadn’t run out of stories and you decided to give Dana a break because of the exhausted look on her face.
“OK, I’m done.” You laughed as you stacked up your suitcases at the foot of your bed to put out in the hall closet eventually.
“Sorry, sweetie. I just had a new client hit one of my girls last night so I was dealing with the cops half the night and this wine isn’t helping.”
“D, oh my God, why didn’t you interrupt me? Girl, go sit down! I could have unpacked by myself! I’ll order a pie for dinner and find something on Netflix to zone out to.”
“God, you have no fucking idea how good that sounds right now.” She laughed as she headed out of the room. With a nod, you grabbed your cell from the Hermès bag you had coveted of the woman in the Subway, and followed your roommate out to the living room to just veg and hang out until you both passed out on the couch in positions that was sure to make your back hurt the next day.
——
Pounding on your door woke you up way to early, and being the closer one, you threw off your slightly tangled blanket and trudged to the door from the couch. You looked up at your handsome visitor through sleep fogged eyes, and shook your head.
“No.”
“Sweetheart where have you been?” Jeff asked as he pulled you into a hug. “We were supposed to meet at the gym 45 minutes ago and your phone is going straight to voicemail...”
“I’m trying to fucking sleep!” Dana screamed from the living room as she got off the couch and headed into her room.
“Sleep time, baby.” You sighed as you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your apartment tiredly. “Sleep.”
“I can’t, I have shit to do today.”
“No, sleep time.” You repeated as you locked the door behind him and dragged him a few feet down the hallway to your bedroom. Your clothes from the night before hit the floor and you were too tired to even look back at him as you pulled back the blankets and climbed into bed against the wall in just your cotton thong. “Sleep with me.”
“Fine.” He muttered as he stripped down to his boxers and got into bed in front of you. “But only for an hour...”
“Shhh!” You hissed as you snuggled into his chest and almost instantly fell back asleep. One hour turned into almost five, which is when Jeff got tired of watching you sleep and decided it was time to wake you up. He very gently kissed your forehead and slowly rubbed your back, before his lips moved to your temple and down to your cheek.
“Supposed to be sleeping.” You grumbled when he kissed your nose.
“It’s almost eleven, baby. And I’m getting hungry.”
“There’s leftover sushi in the fridge.” You muttered as you pulled the blankets up over your head. “And some of a teriyaki bowl. Fried rice… but the spring roll is Dana’s.”
“OK, but I want to see your beautiful face with me…” You started when Dana threw your bedroom door open, and you sat up as she held her phone out.
“Chelsea got tickets to Burning Man.”
“She what?!” You asked as you scrambled over Jeff to get to the phone.
“I grabbed six.” One of your closest friends said on speaker as you took the phone from your roommate and grabbed Jeff’s gym shirt off the floor.
“That’s mine.” He said, which made you simply swipe your hand in his direction.
“How did you get six tickets?”
“Sold a townhouse on the Upper East so I jumped when I got that check this morning.”
“So what, six tickets, one vehicle pass?” Dana asked as she leaned on your door frame and bent down to scratch her leg.
“Yea.”
“So what, the three of us and who?”
“I figured asking Kara and Mac…”
“They broke up last week.” Dana said as she looked up at you with a shrug. “Mac cheated.”
“She did not!” You gasped over Chelsea in shock. Dana nodded her head and took a step back so Jeff could scoot past to go to the bathroom.
“OK, so just Kara.” Chelsea said as you gestured down the hall to the living room. “And I was thinking Mickey.”
“OK, I love Mickey, but I would kill him after three days.” Dana laughed.
“What about Steph?”
“I would kill her after two days.”
“OK well first, let’s ask this. Do we wanna make it a girls trip? Because (Y/N) has a new beau.”
“Ooo! Is this the cruise guy? I heard he’s stupid cute.”
“He is.” You laughed as you set the phone down on the coffee table and went into the kitchen to grab a pen and paper.
“I mean you said he’s older though? Like how old are we talking?”
“I’m 45.” Jeff called out as he headed into the kitchen to start making coffee. “Not that old. Coffee?”
“Oh! Didn’t realize he was there, sorry.” You called out that she was fine as you grabbed coffee mugs, and the container of coffee grounds for Jeff before heading back to discuss your plans.
“Keep a ticket on hold for right now for him.” You said as you sat down on the couch beside Dana and tucked your knees up to your chest. “I’ll get back to you in a couple days on that. And the last ticket has to go to Kenzie. She’s been trying to get us all to go with her for years and she’d be ideal on the prep front on what we actually need to bring.”
“Oh, yea I like Kenzie.” Chelsea said, excitedly. “I approve.”
“OK, so we have a line up. The three of us, Kenzie, Kara, and possibly Jeff. And if not Jeff, we can see if Matt wants to go.”
“Oh, he’s fabulous.” Dana agreed. “Alright, Chelsea, get your laptop. Let’s get a Zoom call going so we can start working out details. I’ll send you the room number in a minute.” She said OK and hung up the phone just as Jeff was coming out with three cups of coffee.
“So what is Burning Man?”
“It is a life changing experience.” Dana stated as she started a new group text chat for the Burning Man group. “It’s a week long event…”
“Not to be confused with a festival.” You interrupted as you started the list of what you would need to make this trip happen.
“Not a festival, but it is at the same time. It’s put on by artists, and musicians, and free spirits dedicated to self-expression and anti-consumerism.”
“It’s supposed to be a life changing experience.” You chimed in as you looked up from your notes. “We’ve been talking about going for the past five years since Kenzie went the first time.” Jeff nodded his head as your other three closet friend’s voices floated out of the speakers, but his next statement made everyone fall into stunned silence.
“I’ll tag along if you don’t mind it. Sounds like an interesting experience even for someone at my age. I’ll cover the costs, too so you all don’t have to worry about that and just enjoy the experience.”
“Wait, what?” Chelsea asked as Dana turned her laptop so the girls could see the three people in your living room.
“Who is that?”
“Is that the guy?”
“That’s the guy.”
“Guys, he’s right here.” You laughed as you waved your paper at the group. “Do we wanna plan this shit or what?”
“OK! OK! We’re planning!” Kenzie laughed as she got up to grab something on her end. “Now, I usually stay in a tent, but it’s usually just me and Stacy…”
“Oh, Stacy! We forgot Stacy!” Dana whined.
“I’ll cover her ticket.” Jeff said with a small nod as he sat back in his chair with his coffee. “And all of yours too.”
“What?” “No way!” “You don’t have to do that.” “Yo, I’m broke! Shut up!”
“You’re gunna give them all heart attacks.” You laughed.
“I’m not sleeping in a tent, either.” He said more to you with a shake of his head. “You want to be the one to look into an RV or should I have my assistant do it?”
“Oh, I know there’s a place out there we can rent from…” Kenzie tried but you shook your head as you added the RV to your list.
“No, he means he’s gunna buy one.” You said with a glance up at your friends. “Can we stop focusing on Jeff and focus on Burning Man, please?”
“Yes, Burning Man.” Dana said for you as she clapped her hands. “So, Kenzie. What do we need to know?”
“Who’s…”
“I’ve got the list started already.” You said over Chelsea as you waved the paper around.
“OK, Burning man is a fucking beast.” Kenzie said as she sat down on her couch with a meticulously organized fire red binder in typical Kenzie fashion. “It is not a foot race, it is a fucking marathon. You all need to be prepared. So let’s get started with my prep list…”
Part 4
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noticemee · 3 years ago
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I ain't sayin' she a gold digger 🙅🏽‍♀️
But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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rileyodonnell · 4 years ago
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I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke guy
Bullshit! I’m not a gold digger. I accept diamonds as well. I’m that flexible.
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anonymoushouseplantfan · 7 years ago
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So 3 genealogists were employed just to put together her American family tree, and yet the DM explicitly says that inspite of their meticulous search, they haven't a trace of the famed "Wisdom". Quelle surprise. I'm getting flashbacks of that Jamie Fox & Kanye West song, "I ain't sayin she's a gold digger / but she ain't messing with no broke... " Never in her life. +It's very queer that they haven't found Doria's mother, but can stretch to tenuous noble links 567x removed. This so sketchy..
She lied about “Wisdom”??????????
LOLOLOL. 
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savagesimsnaps · 7 years ago
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So now that we finally did it, will you marry me?
We only just met two days ago...
It’s bigger than your promise ring.
Yes!
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