#After so long learning from Dan's content it was really nice to end up using some of those lessons to draw his DnD guy

[threewaysdivided]

Hobson Heckled into Historical Haute-Couture

Continuing the Dan Jones & Dragons gala parade with Hobson, the Flower Crowns' oft-harried Halfling Warlock (played by the ever-wholesome Dan Floyd). Is he trying to massage away the realisation that letting his literally-half-brained patron choose his gala attire might have been a mistake? Is Valse giving him a headache over something else entirely? Did he use Detect Magic in a room full of powerful items and accidentally flash-bang himself? Yes.

More Flower Crowns Gala Outfits: Morenthal | Gelnek

As always, design talk under the cut:

But before that, a short story: I've been following Dan's content on Youtube for... oh jeez, that sure is almost a decade now, both on his current New Frame Plus/Playframe channels and back when he was the primary founder and narrator for EC. His old games education videos helped me get one of my earliest jobs in project work and introduced me to a bunch of media production concepts (like scope management) that would go on to inform some of my own storytelling analysis posts. It was a startling little moment of artistic ouroboros to realise I was mentally running through key points from Dan's own Pose Design 101 video as I was drawing his DnD character. Never expected things to come full-circle like that, but if you're seeing this, Dan: here's to you 🫡 If you're not Dan and haven't already, do go check out his stuff - it's all super well-produced, informative, funny and he's just an overall stand-up guy.

Now: onto the tiny little nerd and his passé party attire

This was a really fun costuming challenge, with a bunch of interesting curveballs thrown in the mix. Unlike the rest of the Flower Crowns, Hobson didn't choose his own party outfit: it was picked out by his patron after Valse kibbitzed him into giving up and letting a heroism-obsessed Fey call the shots. Dan cited Valse as having the fashion sense of Stede Bonnet-as-depicted-in-OFMD, briefing a vaguely 19th century-style outfit that had frilled sleeves and 'would have looked gaudy even when it was in fashion a century earlier'.

Actually dating his outfit was the first challenge. D&D settings are kind of an anachronistic uchronia, with classic swords-and-sorcery fantasy campaigns potentially pulling inspiration points from anywhere across the Arthurian era up to pre-war modernity. Which leads to the question: how do you make something seem dated in a setting where most everything looks vaguely ye-olde-fantasy? The other challenge was that, IRL, the 19th century (i.e Victorian era) was when menswear started taking on a lot of the shapes that would eventually become modern suit and top-'n'-tails fashion. Since Trilby was already going to be wearing classic top-'n'-tails formalwear, I decided to set Hobson's style earlier in the 1800s-1820s and pull in some 18th century Stede Bonnet flourishes to visually set them apart. This article provided some great reference images, and once I hit on the figured silk waistcoat I knew I had a potential starting point.

Colour-wise, I stuck with the burgundy-and-gold palette the Dans gave Hobson in his official gala stream art, since those looked good together and matched up with Dan J's tendency to draw Hobson wearing greens/earth-tones and Valse in reds/jewel-tones. The combination is a lot more colourful and richly saturated than is typical for this style of Victorian-adjacent clothes, which felt appropriate for Valse's gaudy tastes.

Fabric-wise, I figured a fun way to gaudy things up even further would be to lean into the silks and satins that were fashionable at the time, but make all of his outfit shimmery rather than just a single feature piece. As a bonus, silk and satin clothes tend be hot, inelastic and have horribly itchy seams if worn unlined, which felt like exactly the kind of thing Valse's all-form-no-function sensibilities would inflict upon the small, long-suffering fellow. Both these fabrics also have a habit of behaving hideously and ripping themselves apart when worn wet, which makes this a great outfit to, say, accidentally fight an Aboleth in. Poor Hobson.

Some other details, just for fun: 1. Hobson's sketch layers include a drawing of his un-removable cursed left bracer. He's pulled the frilly, puffy sleeve over it but you might spot hints of the shape and the gem if you squint. 2. The reference waistcoat I used had floral embroidery on it. Had this actually been a Hobson outfit, I would have converted them to his garland flower (Forget-Me-Nots), but since it was a Valse pick I decided to make them Senaliesse chrysanthemums; a flower given out to friends of the Feywild's Summer Court as a sign of protection and favour. (It also adds extra layers to Pocket mistaking Hobson for a denizen of the Fey, which is fun).

Close crop on the details because I'm very happy with how they turned out:

[ablondehoe]

A Fight to Remember- Sampo x reader x Dan Heng

A/N: okay so this is my first smut. I got impatient waiting for someone else to write one. I’ve never written smut before so let me know how you guys like it and maybe I’ll write another in the future

Content warning: threesome, oral(fem receiving), double penetration, p in v, anal, cream pie,��

_______________________________________________________________________

You are in a position you never thought you’d be in, sandwiched between Dan Heng and Sampo, with both of their cocks in your holes. Each thrust from them left you gasping for air, each thrust hitting spots you didn’t even know you had. But let's start off at the beginning. The beginning of the night that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were a well-known fighter in the Fight Club, but you don’t discuss it because of the rules. You liked to challenge yourself, fighting two or three people at a time, pushing yourself to be the strongest fighter you can be. 

You had just finished a fight against a rookie who thought you were an easy fight because as he said “girls can’t fight”. You’ve spent years honing your ability with the fire element. You rarely used your ultimate in a fight but this rookie really managed to push all your buttons. You screamed, unleashing your ultimate, and punched the rookie square in the face with your fist engulfed in a flame. The force of your punch sent the poor rookie flying, and the referee counted down from three, declaring you the winner as the rookie limped out of the ring in shame. 

Unknown to you, two men were watching you. “See that girl up there? That’s Y/N, one of the club’s best fighters,” Sampo said, nudging Dan Heng. “She’s our first opponent. Now, I’ve never fought her as she refuses to fight one-on-one. Now that I have you with me, she’ll have to fight us!”

Dan Heng rolled his eyes at the blue-haired man’s words. “I’m not going to fight a woman, Sampo. I have something called self-respect.” An exaggerated gasp left Sampo’s lips. “Don’t let her hear you say that. Or she’ll turn you into that rookie she just beat up. Besides, you have nothing better to do until your friends wake up.”

“You mean the Trailblazer and March 7th. They have names, I suggest you learn them if you are going to be hanging around with us. Let’s get this fight over with,” Dan Heng sighed, wanting to get the fight over with.

“Hey Y/N! Are you gonna let me fight you now? I’ve got a friend so now you HAVE to fight us!” Sampo yelled, acting as giddy as Hook does when she finds someone to play hide and seek with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long and grueling fight, the referee called a tie, on the grounds that the fight was going on too long and because he felt the fight would only end if one of you three were in a body bag. 

You were very impressed by Dan Heng’s speed and attacks and surprised that he was able to keep up with your fighting with such a scrawny body. Though you thought he was scrawny, he did have a nice face and a voice that made you melt. And Sampo, where to start with Sampo. He tries to fight you every time he sees you but you weren’t complaining as you got to look at him and those abs that he sneakily shows off. You complimented them on their fighting skills and Sampo used that as an opportunity to flirt with you. Dan Heng ignored Sampo’s attempts to flirt with you and praised your techniques during the fight. You decided to invite Dan Heng and Sampo to get some drinks at a bar in the Underworld. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Sampo to get you and Dan Heng to match him shot for shot and play other drinking games with him. 

“And that’s how I accidentally broke March 7th’s camera. It took a lot of convincing from Pom-Pom to get her to forgive me.” Dan Heng had loosened up quite a bit after getting a few drinks in him.

As the three of you continued to drink, so did the flirting. You eventually have them come spend the night at your apartment. The walk back was short and as soon as you close the door, you’re pinned against it by Sampo’s hands. Sampo wastes no time in kissing you, you gasp as his lips are pressed to yours. Dan Heng begins to nip and suck at your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake. You moan at the feeling of Dan’s lips on your neck. Sampo briefly breaks the kiss to remove your shirt. 

“Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?” Sampo says, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to your room, Dan Heng follows closely.

As soon as you’re on the bed Sampo begins to kiss your neck and work his way down your body while Dan Heng picks up where Sampo left off, slipping his tongue in your mouth. Sampo pauses to pull your pants off. “Ooh, lace panties, someone was looking to get lucky tonight, weren’t they?” Sampo teases with a shit-eating grin on his face. Dan Heng grunts in annoyance at Sampo’s attempt at a joke. 

Sampo slides off your panties and pushes your legs apart, revealing your soaking pussy. He wastes no time and starts lapping up your juices, licking your folds. You knew he had a way with words, but didn’t know he had a way with his tongue as well. You moan into Dan Heng’s kiss. Dan begins to finger you, quickly picking the pace and bringing you to your first orgasm. Sampo sits up, your juices dripping down his chin, and pulls Dan Heng into an unexpected and heated kiss. You laugh at Dan’s surprised face.

“Oh, you think that’s funny? Looks like she needs to be punished~” Your eyes widen at Dan Heng’s tone. Dan and Sampo take off their pants and your jaw drops. You didn’t expect their cocks to be so big. ‘There’s no way those are going to fit inside me,’ you thought. Dan Heng’s cock was skinny but long. Sampo’s, while slightly smaller, was thicker than Dan’s. Dan lays down on your bed and you position yourself over his dick. As soon as you feel his dick inside you, Sampo lines his cock up to your asshole and pushes himself in you. The two men start thrusting hard and fast.

After a while, you feel yourself coming to your second orgasm. Dan Heng and Sampo’s thrusts begin to get more sloppy as they reach their limits. You’re the first to cum, with Sampo then Dan Heng following after. They pull out, their semen leaking out of both your holes. 

“That was… the best sex I’ve had in a while. Sampo, if every fight with you ends like this, I’ll gladly fight you again. Will you join in again Dan Heng?” you say, pulling the two men closer to you before drifting off to sleep.

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

summertime mindset - epilogue

date night & declarations

masterlist for summertime mindset

Timing is hard to get right and summer doesn’t last forever. You and Tyson learn the hard way.

word count: 2.2k

note from the writer: it’s finally over. also Come On Eileen just came on while im writing this rn which was mentioned no less than twice in this series is this a sign. anyways, hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

SUMMERTIME

“Close your eyes.”

“Tyson, if you let me trip.” You warned, a slightly nervous chuckle falling past your lips. Tyson laughed loudly, and you smiled at the sound. It was date night, apparently, and he had something set up somewhere. You assumed your aunt’s backyard, because Michael had been tasked with keeping you out of the house. As much as you loved your cousin’s boyfriend, he was not subtle at all, and about fifteen minutes into grabbing ice cream with him, you realized something was up.

So when Michael went to drop you off at your aunt’s house and you found Tyson standing in the driveway, you weren’t totally shocked. He was dressed nice, a pair of jeans and a sweater you had never seen him in before. Even his hair was styled. When you pulled into the driveway, he opened your door, gave you a kiss, handed you the bouquet of flowers, and told you to close your eyes.

“C’mon, just do it.” He grinned, holding your free hand. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rachel and Kacey looking out the window of your aunt’s living room, both giving you a thumbs up. Michael had already slipped inside, so with one last teasing glare at Tyson, you complied. “We’re going out back.” He explained, though you could tell that from the direction he was leading you.

“What do you have planned, Jost?” You teased, trying to focus on your footsteps and not tripping on anything, but it was a little difficult when your head felt as light as it did when Tyson squeezed your hand and laughed as melodic as he did.

“No peeking!” He told you instead of answering your question, and you held your tongue, knowing that you were not going to win this battle. You let him lead you further into your aunt’s backyard, and you realized he was taking you to the gazebo at the end of the yard. Tyson finally stopped walking you, and moved to stand beside you, his hand held tightly in yours still. “Okay, open your eyes.”

You did as you were told, and your eyes immediately widened in shock. The gazebo had been decorated with fairy lights and candles, and in the center there was a table completely set with what looked to be a homemade meal. It took you a moment to take in everything, how good it looked and how moved you were that he had put so much effort into it.

“Tyson…” You trailed off, at a loss for words. Instead of saying anything, you turned to face him, wrapping him in a tight hug that he readily returned. You pressed a kiss to his cheek as you pulled back, eager to investigate the set up closer. 

“Kacey helped me cook, and Rachel helped with the decorations. It was my idea, though.” Tyson said, a little nervously, as he watched your reaction. He hoped that you wouldn’t think it was too much, but he had wanted to do something special for you, and his sister had suggested the dinner idea.

“If Kacey helped cook, then it’s probably edible.” You teased, throwing him a mischievous grin that had his heart stopping in his chest with how much he adored you. On the table, there was an empty glass vase, with some water in the bottom, so you placed the bouquet Tyson had gotten you there.

“I’ve been told I’m a great cook.” Tyson defended playfully, easily falling into your typical light banter despite his nerves. Despite the teasing, he pulled out your chair for you like the gentleman his mom had raised him to be.

“It doesn’t count if your mom told you that.” You rolled your eyes with a grin, watching as Tyson settled into his own chair across from you. He didn’t respond with anything other than a chuckle, and you watched as he nervously studied your face. “Tyson?”

“Do you like it?” He blurted out, one hand gesturing to the table and decorations. You creased your brow together in confusion, but seconds later you realized why he was so nervous. He was afraid that he’d done too much and would scare you off.

“I love it, Tys.” You reached across the short table to set your hand on top of his. He relaxed at this, and lifted your hand up so he could kiss the back of it with an easy grin. Your simple words were enough to calm him down, and you briefly reveled in the fact that you were able to have such an effect on him. “But what’s the occasion?”

“Just ‘cause I really like you.” He assured you, his broad grin on full display. Your heart stuttered in your chest, despite the fact that it was far from the first time he had told you that. You had a feeling that it was far from the last time he’d tell you that, too, and thought made you smile wider. You chuckled breathily at him, eyes dancing across the lights that were around the gazebo before finally settling on Tyson. He was smiling fondly at you, and you knew that you would be perfectly content to sit there for the rest of life, as long as he looked at you like he was.

“Didn’t realize you were such a romantic, Jost.” You chirped, but his response was quick and easy, as if he had spent a lifetime in preparation for this moment.

“Only for you.”

PRESENT

“We’re engaged!”

“Congratulations!”

You beamed at Rachel, standing up from the lawn chair you had been perched in while watching Tyson play a game of modified spike ball with your younger cousins. You had been waiting for Rachel and Michael to return from their drive, knowing he had been planning to propose. He had, after all, asked you for Rachel’s ring size and help with planning everything.

“It’s gorgeous, Rach.” You cooed, stepping back to let your various extended family members that had come to your aunt’s for a family barbecue to crowd around Rachel. She shot you a grateful smile before turning to entertain your Great Aunt Ida’s various questions. Tyson approached, then, clapping a hand on Michael’s shoulder and his other arm winding around your waist.

“Congrats, Mikey.” Tyson grinned. You smiled at your boyfriend and soon to be cousin, glad they were able to easily rekindle their friendship after you got back with Tyson.

“You two are next!” Your aunt shouted in glee, pointing to you and Tyson. You flushed, chuckling out of nerves. Rachel elbowed her mother for her comment, but you felt Tyson’s arm tighten around you. Luckily, your grandma asked Rachel a question about her future wedding that had everyone in a tizzy, so you were out of the hot seat.

“Beer?” Tyson asked quietly, and you nodded, ducking away from your crowd of family members and towards the coolers. Your mind was elsewhere as you went through the motions of taking a sip of your fresh drink. Specifically, your mind was wandering years into the future, to your relationship with Tyson, and how maybe then you’d be in the same position as Rachel and Michael.

Tyson sat in the Adirondack chair you had previously occupied, and gently tugged you down so you were seated comfortingly on his lap. You leaned back into his chest, distantly paying attention to one of your younger cousins explaining the rules for whatever game he was making up. You turned to face your boyfriend when he squeezed the arm that had been wrapped comfortingly around you, finding him already watching you with a soft and caring look in his eyes.

“Hm?” You hummed, searching his face for whatever he would’ve wanted to tell you, only coming up short in the few moments he said nothing. A grin broke out across his face, one less mischievous than you were used to seeing.

Your fingers subconsciously started toying with the braided friendship bracelet on Tyson’s wrist. It was a new one, since the first one was years old and the string had snapped during one practice. He had gotten upset, genuinely distraught that one of the first gifts you had gotten him had broken. You assured him it was okay, and made him a new one with the colors of the Colorado Avalanche.

“That’s gonna be us someday.” He said, wordlessly gesturing to Rachel and Michael who were still being questioned by your family. Your heart stopped beating in your chest all together, a wide smile on your face at the sureness he spoke with. “Maybe not next, ‘cause,” He paused, nodding his head in the direction of your thirteen year old cousin who had invited the girl he liked from school to the barbeque. “little man’s got game.” You laughed at this, feeling Tyson’s eyes heavy on you the whole time. Calming down, you returned Tyson’s soft smile.

“Someday, then.” You told him quietly. He nodded brightly, before leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your cheek, before kissing the other, and then finally landing one on your lips. He didn’t move back far, choosing to mumble his next words against your lips.

“Someday it is.”

As if you were always meant to, you spent the rest of the warm summer evening in Tyson’s arms. He joked with your family and you chirped him alongside his sister, and all the while your mind didn’t stray far from Tyson’s comment about your future together. Kacey had asked you what made you so smiley, and you just shrugged, but the grin you sent her brother’s way told her all she needed to know.

“I swear, you two were meant for eachother.” She sighed dramatically, her own teasing grin so familiar to the one you loved. A family trait, you assumed.

“I hope so.” You told her, a little breathless at just how happy you were in the moment. A giddy smile broke out across your face as Tyson appeared, his arm snaking around your waist to tug you into his side gently.

“Are you coming with me tonight?” Tyson hummed tiredly. The night was coming to an end, with most of your family gone already. There was only a small group of twenty-somethings left: you, Tyson, Kacey, Rachel, Michael, and Dan. The latter of which had previously been engaged in conversation with your boyfriend, and had kept him occupied for the last half hour. It was late, you were tired, and Tyson noticed.

He always noticed you.

“Yeah, if you’re on your best behavior.” You grinned playfully, and Kacey jokingly gagged. Some things never changed, and you were incredibly grateful for it.

“Always am.” Tyson replied, his hand slipping in yours and tugging you in the direction of his house next door before you had the chance to reply. You bid everyone a goodnight over your shoulder, shouting one more congratulations to Rachel and Michael before you were inside the Jost family home.

Fifteen minutes later, you were clothed in one of Tyson’s oversized athletic shirts and wrapped in his arms. You were chatting mindlessly, your thoughts on the verge of incomprehensible as a result of your exhaustion. Tyson was laying on his back with his head against the pillows, and you were curled into his side with your head tucked into the crook of his neck.

He listened to every word that fell past your lips, hanging onto each sound you created with a broad smile and beating heart. He had known before that moment that you were it for him—he had decided he was done for the moment you walked into his life—but he wanted you to know. Sure, you probably had a pretty good idea about what you meant to him, but it couldn’t hurt to say it.

“I meant what I said earlier, you know.” He found himself accidentally interrupting a story about something one of your aunt’s had said. He could tell you didn’t mind, because you didn’t even try to continue.

“About?” You hummed, confusion lacing your tone. You could feel his heart hammering in his chest, and in a bid to try and calm him down, you began brushing the tips of your fingers up and down his arm.

“About marrying you someday. I’m going to do it.” He sounded so serious, that you couldn’t help but prop yourself up on your elbow, slightly hovering over him in order to get a better look at him. He was smiling softly the way one does when they’re in love, and you felt your heart stutter in your chest at the way he was looking at you.

“Not right now, I hope.” You teased, a little breathless under his stare. You were grinning at him, an easy smile that was mirrored on his face.

“No, not now. But I can’t imagine not having you in my life again.” He told you, and you wasted no time in leaning down to connect your lips to his. You smiled into the kiss, still feeling the same electricity from the first time you had done so all those years ago run through you. You’d never tire of Tyson, you were sure of it.

“Didn’t realize you were such a romantic, Jost.” You mumbled against his lips before pulling back to admire him. He chuckled quietly, one of his hands rising up to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing across your cheek. The sensation had you leaning into his touch, and you grabbed his hand to give each of his fingers a quick kiss.

“Only for you.”

[nokikissa]

since you listen to so many, any good podcasts? I like fantasy/horror/comedy stuff, if you have any in that genre

Haaa well I'm just gonna list all of them in here (also listing them like generally rather than specifically directed at you as like I know you know a lot of these already but describing them anyways), hope you like McElroy adjacent content or DnD podcasts cos otherwise I don't got much to offer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Misc podcasts:

My Brother, My Brother And Me

welp almost everybody knows this one, a long running comedic "advice" podcasts where the McElroy brothers answer questions and other silly stuff

Sawbones

Justin McElroy and Dr Sydnee McElroy talk about weird medical stuff like how things used to be treated in the past and some more recent weird fake treatments that pop up, tho now in the covid times has been bit more recent and covid related episodes. Usually pretty silly and fun, tho there's been some more serious and somber episodes about like some extremely fucked up stuff people used to do regarding medicine and like some of the recent covid eps are bit heavier as well.

Wonderful!

Griffin McElroy and his wife Rachel McElroy just talk about thing that they find wonderful and they like and so on. Really nice chill vibes.

Til Death Do Us Blart

The McElroy brothers and hosts of The Worst Idea of All Time podcasts watch and then talk about the movie Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 each year during thanksgiving, supposedly continuing this til they die. Absolute madness.

The Besties

Video game podcast hosted by Griffin and Justin McElroys and Chris Plante and Russ Frushtick from Polygon, they just talk about video games, new releases and occasionally some themed episodes.

The Empty Bowl

A meditative podcasts about cereal hosted by Justin McElroy and cereal blogger Dan Goubert, they talk about like cereal news and review new cereals they've eaten in a low chill voice. I don't eat cereal, and wouldn't even have access to the products they talk about in the show, but I enjoy the chill vibe and also I've always been fascinated learning about junk food from other countries. Also my answer to the listener question got used in one episode (59 if I remember right), so I was kinda in one of the episodes that's... something.

MusicalSplaining

Haha this one is weird for me... A musical hater and musical enjoyer watch musicals and then discuss them. Like I don't care about musicals, have not seen pretty much any of the things they talk about it this, but ended up listening to it as I followed one of it's host's other works so was like sure I'll give it a go, and well I do enjoy it, the hosts have very good banter and dynamic so it was enjoyable to listen to it even if I knew almost nothing about the subject matter. Recently went through a bit of a revamp as one of it's hosts left for now and there's a new co-host now, so far it still seems alright but can't say for sure before getting more episodes with the current set up.

Still Buffering

For a long time this was a podcast about teen life from three siblings who one of them was a teenager herself, but now recently they revamped the show as the youngest sibling isn't teenager anymore and I started listening after that revamp. Now it's a show where each week one of the siblings picks a piece of media that's in some way important to them and then they all watch/read/listen/etc. to it and discuss it. I find their conversations quite enjoyable to listen to, and there's bit of a age difference between the youngest and the oldest so it varies nicely what sort of stuff they bring.

DnD Podcasts:

The Adventure Zone

Once again almost everyone knows this one already, the McElroy brothers play dnd or other tabletop rpgs with their dad, very comedic tone which I like a lot. Based on some posts I think some parts of the internet have decided that it is cringe now but idk I still like it, one of my top faves

Dungeons and Daddies

Very funny DnD podcasts about dads from our world who ended up in fantasy realm. One of my top faves.

Not Another D&D Podcast

Haha my opinions on this one are... complicated. At first I gave it a try and gave up after few episodes cos I wasn't getting into it, didn't care for one of the characters which is kinda big when there's only 3 and so on. But then later on gave it another try and when it got to the proper plot stuff it got good, it got really good! And the character I didn't like at the start got better as well, they didn't do the weird jokes and stuff as much that made me dislike them and they got some very good moments. So in general the podcast is very good... but there's still some things that get on my nerves, like god I hate their ad reads so much! There's usually like 3 per episode and they're very direct ad copy reads with the sort of tone of voice that gets on my nerves for some reason, advertising stuff like sex toy shop like wtf I don't wanna hear podcast hosts tell me how to spice up my bedroom life or whatever. And also they thank their patreon supporters every episode, so the last 20 minutes of every episode is like patreon shout outs which is annoying that I gotta do the effort of going to skip all that.

Rude Tales of Magic

Oh this one is... weird. In a good way mostly. But yeah like weird is the best descriptor for it. The world building is bizarre, the characters are bit weird as well like the cast includes a skeleton and a Sasquatch, and the DMs way of describing things is so unhinged and weird and I love it. Tho at the beginning of the cast they had bit annoyingly much of like lowbrow poop humor etc. but afterwards they stopped doing that as much.

bomBARDed

Podcast where all the player characters are multiclassed into bards, and they make like a song every episode as the players are all musicians in a band together, and sometimes they sorta briefly explaing some music theory stuff as well haha? Anyway yeah it's fun, and now the plot is getting quite interesting as well.

The Oxventure Podcast

Podcast version of the Outside Xbox youtube channel's dnd campaign, this one's alright. Like I don't get the "oh fuck yeah new episode is out!" feeling I get for a lot of the other ones but it's still fun and something to listen to at work haha.

Dames and Dragons

It's named that because when it started as it was supposed to be like all women dnd podcast but that turned out to be not correct lmao. But anyway it is very good, it has good balance of like plot heavy stuff and humor. And it has delightful tumblr hellsite energy and humor which I quite enjoy.

Burnt Cook Book Party

Okay this one is Pathfinder rather than DnD but haha close enough. It's a pretty new one, there's only 6 episodes so far but I've enjoyed it so far and am eager to see how it'll go.

Cast Party

Oh Cast Party my new beloved... This one is the newest one I've listened to and definitely made it my top faves immediately. The podcast is like about 5 people who were on the hollywood set of a fantasy movie being filmed that got transported to fantasy realm and gotta now try to figure out how to get back. The characters are all extremely likeable and have good chemistry, and the worldbuilding is quite good as well. Caught up with the last currently released episode like yesterday and now I'm all aww man I gotta wait for more??? :c

Honorary mentions of no longer active podcasts:

History of Fun

This was Polygon's podcast about like stuff that's fun, each episode one of the hosts picked some thing that's considered fun and researched the history of it and shared it in the podcast. No longer active but still worth listening to the backlog of it.

Second Best

I quite liked this dnd podcast, it had fun cast of characters and the plot was getting very interesting.... but then it went on a break during the pandemic and eventually they announced that sadly they wouldn't be continuing it anymore. Such a shame. 😔

[anika-ann]

Attached: Words Lost in Translation Pt.1

Type: (mini)-series,  Modern-college-professor AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 4200

Summary: There’s a new guy in your history class – a foreign student from Milan, Italy. Handsome, nice enough, pretty smart, actually.

But dammit, you should have known that a guy complimenting the way you say his name will be trouble – Bucky certainly thinks so from the start… and he’s not wrong. Oh boy.

A/N: Attached: Words Lost in Translation is a 3-part addition to the Attached series.

A/N: Many thanks to my lord and saviour @chase-your-dreams-away​ for her help with Italian bits which you’ll find in the fic :-* Seriously, big shout-out for her, she was awesome! Vocabulary at the end if you’re interested.

And many thanks to @wxstedhexrt​ for sending me the link and putting the plot bunny into my head in the first place :-* 

Warnings: smug insistent jerk, harassment(?), swearing, one remark about LBGT+ that could feel insensitive

Story masterlist

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“Uhm… hi. Can I sit here? And uh—this is kinda ridiculous, but could I borrow a pen?”

A very much handsome young man was standing by your seat in the second row, week two of your first semester of master’s at uni, deep brown eyes, naturally tanned skin, relatively tall, his smile a fraction shy but honest.

What else could you have done that what you did?

Even if he wasn’t a relatively cute guy – mind you, you were dating Steve, very happily needless to say – you had no reason to be a bitch to a guy with slight accent you weren’t sure where to place, to a guy who was apparently a tiny bit lost on his first day at Bucky’s class.

“Yeah, sure. Seat all yours,” you smiled encouragingly, sliding him an extra pen on surface of the desk.

His smile widened brilliantly, exposing a set of perfectly narrow and white teeth. A twinkle appeared in his eye and you caught your heart skipping a beat.

Oh. Ah-oh.

“Thank you so much. Something tells me that the prof wouldn’t appreciate me missing the first class of his and not taking notes on the second,” your mystery student grimaced and you chuckled, unable to help yourself.

First of all, yeah, kinda on point.

Second of all, not on point at all, because the said prof was Professor James Barnes. Bucky had a relatively benevolent policy when it came to his classes – yes, he appreciated when his students were paying attention, interacting even, but as long as you weren’t an ass or weren’t making noise (or both), you were fine.

You said so to your new classmate and he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Good to know… but you know what would be even better?” he asked, cocking his head to side curiously – or teasingly, it was hard to tell.

“Oh, what? I guess you need the syllabus too, right? I can-“

A low chuckle erupted from his throat, his eyes glimmering with amusement as his gaze gave you a not-exactly-subtle once-over you weren’t sure how you felt about.

Except you knew exactly how you felt about it, you just knew you shouldn’t feel that way.

“That would probably come in handy too, but I’d rather know the name of my lovely saviour with a pretty smile.”

You found yourself lowering your gaze, heat rising to your cheeks.

Here was a thing – this was most flirting you got in like a year. You adored Steve, you truly did, from the bottom of your heart, he was a dream come true… however, the fact that you two were dating was clear to everyone.

And by everyone, you really meant everyone; considering the scene at your bachelor graduation and the mess around, it appeared that the whole damn city accepted the fact that you were Steve’s and thus no one even considered stepping on his toes.

Which was alright, absolutely, but… girl’s got needs, her ego craves a boost from time to time, even if it’s an appreciative glance from a stranger. Just a teeny-tiny bit of flirting.

No one ever flirted with you anymore.

It was why it was way too easy to fall into the sweet trap as you introduced yourself, lifting you gaze only to see your companion wearing a lop-sided smile. He most definitely liked what he saw.

“Sweet name for a sweet girl. I’m Daniel. I’m here for two semesters. And before you ask, it’s Milano, Italy,” he added quickly with a flash of his teeth again, holding out his hand – and upon having it accepted, he most certainly held it too long and swept his thumb over the back of your hand.

Which was the point when your head started yelling at you to stop this in an instant and draw a line. Yes, it felt amazing to be complimented to, but you had a boyfriend – a fucking dreamy one, no less – and you sure as hell didn’t want to give Daniel (how was his name pronounced again?) the wrong impression.

You retreated your hand with your smile turning tight-lipped, a cold pang of guilt stabbing you in your gut. Served you right.

“Nice to meet you, Daniel,” you said politely, and his expression shifted into one just a fraction patronizing.

“Da-ni­-el. Kinda soft ‘i’. Daniel. You’ll get a hang of it, I’m sure. Once more, please?”

Well, since he said please. “Da-ni-el,” you repeated more from a common curtesy, because honestly, the least you could do was to try to pronounce a name right for a handsome classmate.

Shush it, it doesn’t matter if he’s handsome or not!

Daniel smiled widely, turning his palms up and gesturing towards you. “Perfetto. Amazing. You’re a natural.”

Before you could say thanks, Bucky entered the class and you felt the stab in your insides intensify as his eyes found you unmistakably, as if he had witnessed our interaction with the Italian and was telling you he’d rat you out to Steve if you didn’t stop right now.

Ridiculous – there was nothing to talk about. You were just being nice to the friendly stranger who happened to be in your class and whom you’d be meeting for at least a semester. That was all.

Except you still felt your heart pounding furiously, equally because of the feeling of getting caught doing something wrong and because of enjoying the attention. Fuck.

Okay, fine. You’d tell Steve about this guy on your own as a precaution. It would at least remind you to keep yourself in check, because honestly, you had no desire to get tangled up in some mess. You had no desire to taint the beautiful thing you had with Steve with anything at all, less so for a fling.

Content with yourself, you forced yourself to listen to Bucky’s lecture, taking notes like you were supposed to, determined to ignore Daniel’s presence.

Except Daniel interrupted him twice with questions and remarks about accuracy, drawing attention of the whole class to him and you felt hot in your face for a whole different reason than before – simply hating that someone sitting next to you was, frankly, quickly getting annoying.

And God, you had no idea how much.

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Daniel Gallo was a relatively nice guy –social perhaps a little too much, but cute and open, easy to be friends with.

However, he had one fatal flaw, one you discovered very early on; he was the smuggest asshole you had ever met.

Perhaps it was his need to correct Bucky all the time – mostly failing, because Bucky knew his shit, he was just sparing you the tinniest details, leaving them for you to find in text books.

Maybe it was the fact that Daniel hadn’t given you the pen back, not even asking if he could keep it for the day, which you’d understand despite being protective of your pens; except he carried it around for two weeks, using it in front of you, returning it only upon your curious and slightly sarcastic comment about it.

Most definitely though, it was the fact that he was unbearably insistent on flirting with you – shamelessly – even after you grew so uncomfortable that you blatantly told him you had a boyfriend. He smirked, but backed off for the day, only to continue his advances the next week.

And then Jill, a girl from your year and a sort-of-friend, actually told you that he mentioned you in front of her, saying that you were two growing rather close, if she knew what he meant, and she admitted that she snorted into her latté when hearing it.

“What? What is it?” he had asked.

“I sincerely doubt that,” she claimed she had said, causing him to frown.

“Why? She gay? I don’t think so, I can tell this kind of stuff.”

“No. She’s taken. Very happily, I might add. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Nah. We’ll see about that,” he had replied supposedly and learning that felt like a punch to your stomach, causing you to see red.

You showed him ignorance incarnate the next week, but he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

And then even Bucky noticed and kept casting dirty glares at you both as if you had done the worst crime.

To be honest, after that you did feel dirty; but you didn’t want to make a fuss.

In fact, you hadn’t even told Steve about Daniel besides informing him about the existence of a foreign student in your class.

Partly, shame was to blamed, because you kept wondering if you had done enough; perhaps you should have been more radical, sterner with Daniel to make him stop.

The other part of the reason was that Steve was under tons of pressure because of his academic duties; all professors had to publish an article in a prestige journals dedicated to their area of expertise at least once in two years – university policy – and working on that while teaching several classes was simply taking its toll on him. You really didn’t want to add to his stress.

It wasn’t even a big deal – Daniel was overly social and he probably said shit like the stuff you learned from Jill about other girls too. What was the golden rule? When there’s nothing broken, don’t fix it.

There was nothing. No problem at all.

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Except there was.

That morning, you were zoned out, because Steve snapped at you for not doing the dishes and didn’t bother to apologize till you left the apartment in a foul mood. Then he went to shower you with texts full of apologies, gradually growing into pure cutesy (involving a picture of his puppy eyes) and gifs and stuff and you ended up spending the majority of Bucky’s lecture on your phone.

By Bucky’s policy, that was perfectly okay, because he couldn’t care less if you were smiling like a loon into your phone – hell, if he noticed, he was probably glad, knowing shit had rained down and was now being fixed.

At the end of the class, Daniel graciously offered you his neat notes – and really, they looked amazing –, surprising you rather pleasantly.

“Oh… that’s… that’s very kind of you,” you stuttered, almost rendered speechless. Perhaps you truly were just making a big deal of things, seeing something that wasn’t-

“Anything for my principessa.“

The cloud that had been following you since you left the apartment made its comeback in a second, so fast that you actually felt your stomach drop to your feet.

Oh no, you were not imagining things – after all, Daniel even had a term of fucking endearment for you. And you might not be speaking Italian, but you understood that just fine.

“Perhaps one day she’ll repay me with a dinner date,” he continued with a supposedly charming smile, one you found disgusting at the moment.

You opened your mouth and swiftly closed it when no sound came out, scoffing at your naivety. Of course he wouldn’t give them for free, jackass. You shook your head with a wry smile and packed your untouched pencil case and papers, rising to your feet without another word.

A hand on your wrist stopped you from spinning on your heel and walking away.

“Aspetta, aspetta-” an all-to-familiar voice now whispered as you grinded your teeth and glared at the point of contact, skin on skin. He squeezed your wrist almost gently before letting go. “Wait. Here. Just… take a picture, okay? Where would we be if weren’t nice from time to time…”

You really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction… but you could really use his notes too.

Dammit shit.

“Thank you,” you uttered, obediently taking a photo of the three pages of ridiculously perfect notes. Then, you met his gaze, face torn between stern and grateful. “Just… a reminder: I have a boyfriend.”

Slow smile spread on his lips and in that moment, you wanted to punch him in those perfect teeth of his. “Doesn’t stand in the way of admiring your beauty, does it, la mia ragazza…”

You had no clue what he said, but the la mia hinted you that he called you something his and that sent a surge of white-hot anger through your veins, mixing with humiliation. Your hand actually curled up in a fist, twitching – but instead of giving your piling anger an outlet, you took a deep breath, huffed and stalked away without a word of goodbye.

“See you next week!” Daniel called after you and you gripped the strap of your backpack tighter, squeezing your eyes shut.

That night, you got next to zero sleep, watching Steve’s passed-out form with tears in your eyes.

It was ridiculous, it was nothing and you were doing nothing wrong-- but you couldn’t make yourself to cuddle to Steve’s side despite desperately needing his wordless affirmation that everything was alright.

Just a simple embrace of his was like a promise of a brighter future. With him.

Chuckling wryly into your palm, you wiped at your tears and snuggled to Steve, causing him to stir and hum, his arm circling around you on instinct, a barely-there sloppy kiss to your hair chasing more tears into your eyes along with a watery smile gracing your lips.

Yeah. Everything was going to be fine.

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Nothing was fine.

Daniel was getting handsy if you could call it that. His thigh brushed yours multiple times the next class as he was sitting uncomfortably close and no amount of subtle pushing away (of you and your chair) was helping, so no, there could have been nothing coincidental about that.

You dug your nails into your palm and bit your cheek, but survived the lesson somehow.

Bucky called for you at the end of the class, saving you further interaction with that Italian Satan, allowing you to breathe freely until he addressed the very problem your head was occupied with.

Bucky didn’t like Daniel’s attitude to begin with – which wasn’t surprising, seeing as he was being a prick – but he liked the fact Daniel seemed to be awfully close to you even less if his tone was anything to go by and his eyes screamed accusations and you fucking hated yourself, feeling the tell-tale of incoming tears burning in your eyes.

“I can talk to him, you know. Tell him to back off,” he offered then though, the grey with blue threads of his irises warming when he noticed your state.

The pressure in your gut eased upon learning Steve’s best friend didn’t only blame you and apparently wanted to help rather than presenting you with ‘you made your bed you lie in it’ attitude.

You even charmed a small smile for him, determined to do justice to your word: “Thank you… it’s fine. I’ll deal with him. I can handle one guy who doesn’t take no for an answer.”

And sure you could.

Daniel hugged you goodbye the next class, saying he was planning a get-away with his new friends for a weekend and it might be dangerous – fucking absurd.

With your heart in your throat, you quickly patted his back and twisted from his arms, feeling dirty.

“No kiss for good luck?” he teased, that annoying smug smile on his face and you had to remind yourself that punching him was a terrible idea seeing as you were already walking a fine line dating a professor – who happened to be the best friend of one of your professors.

You didn’t need any problems – and for some reason, you were certain Daniel would make a big fucking deal of it. So no punching it was.

Your resolve crumbled to nothing when a sudden kiss landed on your cheek, the sensation cold like a kiss of the death itself.

Before you could as much as catch your breath which got knocked out of your lungs and not in the good way, your blood pressure skyrocketing along with your pulse to a point where your head began spinning… he was gone.

You gulped, eyes fluttering shut as the world seemed to sway from its place and you nearly jumped out of your skin when a hand grasped your arm.

“Daniel, go fuck yourself-“ you snapped and glared at him- only to meet Bucky’s angry and very much concerned gaze.

“Too bad you didn’t say that about thirty seconds ago. You alright?” the brunet asked you, grip firm yet gentle as he steadied your shaky stance.

“Uh-huh,” you hummed, a little strangled noise. “And I am gonna tell him exactly this the next time I see him.”

“Not good enough for me. You’re not stupid, I know you’re not. But I’m not either,” he remarked, expression gravel. His tone hardened, unlike his eyes that studied you thoroughly, examining your face as if searching for something. “You think I didn’t notice the change of your wardrobe?”

An icy-cold shiver ran an up your spine, causing all your muscles to stiffen.

Fuck. He noticed.

You supposed it wasn’t too hard to see and it was only natural that he kept an eye on you as on his best friend’s girlfriend. Yes, your Tuesday’s outfits suddenly somehow lacked skirts and anything with a deeper neckline than a turtle-neck, simply in hopes to turn Daniel off or at least not to pluck up his interest further; an action that had taken zero effect.

But being called out like this? That stung. It hurt your pride and it hurt by its very nature, because it reminded you how pathetic you were, unable to get rid of a jerk who didn’t take no for an answer – in a public space, with witnesses for god’s sake. It made you feel weak and incompetent.

So you looked Professor Barnes dead in the eye, your lips a thin line, your voice cold as you spoke the only words that made sense at that time:

“I—I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

So what if you stuttered? So what if his brows furrowed with what was a damn patronizing worry? You didn’t care as you gathered your stuff without another word exchanged.

You made a mental note to wear your favourite outfit the next week, forgoing pants and turtle-necks, because you could fucking take care of yourself.

Penny encouraged you, clearly having faith in you too, but she also gently reminded you that you could report him.

As if. Brining more attention to your person was the last thing you needed.

You could do this on your own, thank you very much.

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For all your bravado, you asked a girl you barely knew by name if you could sit next to her and nearly cried when she said yes and another girl seated herself to your other side within two minutes. You even smiled for yourself contentedly, seeing a dawn of a new age.

And then Daniel fucking Gallo walked in and charmed his way to the seat next to you anyway, somehow managing to scare off your original saviour as well.

Well, too bad for him; you had your confidence back along with your outfit that suited you much better and you were going to tell that jerk to fuck off, just like you promised to Bucky and yourself.

“You thought I wasn’t coming today, la mia bella ragazza? I couldn’t bear not seeing you…” he started off again and you eyed him head to toe, causing a smile spread on his face. You had found that smile cute once, the kind of smile you would let a person get away with murder for.

Now it was making you want to commit murder.

“I was hoping actually.”

“Oh, sassy today, are we? What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? He had the audacity to-

You can’t punch him, you can’t punch him, think of the bureaucracy and your future…

What about my satisfaction?

Zip it!

You took a deep breath and watched that asshole take a seat next to you, automatically shuffling his chair closer.

“Daniel, look-“

“Zitta, zitta…” he interrupted you softly, but the manner he spoke with only pissed you off further. Fuck Italian.

“I don’t know what that means and frankly, I don’t care. I’m taken. I said so, several times. So back off,” you hissed, watching your volume despite the prof not being in yet – you didn’t need a scene. You were disgustingly certain Daniel had brought enough attention to you already – in fact, you were shocked Steve hadn’t learned about this yahoo yet with how quickly gossip spread on this university.

And that Bucky hadn’t told him-- God, you hoped Bucky wasn’t saving it for today’s boys night-

To your utter shock and annoyance, Daniel didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, smiling widely as if amused at your antics. “Am I putting doubts in that bella testolina of yours?”

Your blood boiled at such implication… and maybe there was a thin flow of steam coming from your ears too? Because you couldn’t fucking believe this guy, implying such thing-

--okay, you weren’t sure what exactly he said, honestly, but you understood just enough. No doubts. You were perfectly sure he was an asshole you wanted to have nothing to do with.

“No! No way! Jesus- okay. Let’s be clear. Was... this,” you gestured between the two of you in self-explanatory manner, “flattering at first? Yes. But seriously, now you’re just making me uncomfortable.”

As if appealing to his conscience would work…

“Then give in. Just one little dinner,” he insisted, showing a small space between his thumb and forefinger, grinning as if he hadn’t been listening to you at all. “What could it hurt? Who knows, maybe I’ll show you a real good time and you’ll forget all about some boring boyfriend of yours… who I’m not sure he exists actually-“

You inhaled sharply, wheezing in fact, heat of righteous anger flooding your whole body. That fucker-!

“Oh for fuck’s sake-“

You can’t punch him. You. Can. Not. Punch. Him.

You repeated those words to yourself like a magical mantra that was losing its effect, because there was nothing you wanted more. Maybe except for Steve punching him, that would be quite a show… but it was not an option.

For one, Steve, thank heavens, still didn’t know about Daniel’s unwanted advances and for two, chances were that he would show a little less restraint and you wouldn’t blame him one bit. But it would bring a whole new set of trouble, so you had to deal with this alien of a man on your own.

And right now, staring into that stupidly smug face of his, you only saw one possible solution.

“Okay, fine.”

You almost slapped your hand over your mouth as soon as the words left your lips, numbing horror overwhelming your body.

What the fuck did you just do?!

“Yes!” Daniel whisper-yelled, pumping his fist and you noticed that the class was gradually falling silent, probably with Bucky’s approach – but there was still enough chatter going on for you to save the situation somehow.

“-but you have to earn it,” you added in an equally hushed tone.

He cocked his eyebrow, as if smelling your fear that arrived instantly after the rash decision he provoked from you. “I won’t back out from a challenge, bellezza.”

Yeah, I friggin’ bet.

Your mind was racing hundred miles an hour, choosing to ignore the whatever-it-meant petname in favour of the crisis at hand.

“How about… you ask the professor a question-“ Oh Bucky was going to have your head on a stick for that, but hey, he had offered to help you- “-and if he answers wrong, I’ll go to one dinner with you, tonight.”

…that would be alright, right? Just to get rid of him. One dinner so he would get the clue at last. You’d be a hateful bitch, possibly embarrassing him, doing just about anything for him to finally stop making your life a living hell.

Yeah, looking back at the product of your frantic brain, it had been an excellent thinking actually. Go impulsive me!

Hell, tonight was perfect for it, with Steve having a night off with Bucky and you originally planning on studying with Penny. You would tell Steve after, explaining everything—or maybe before? Bucky was your witness that you weren’t exactly an enthusiastic participant in this, surely he would help you explain and would be able to distract Steve-

But really, that was all theoretical, because Daniel would have to catch Bucky off guard first, which was very unlikely. Bucky knew his subject through and through and Daniel’s chances were extremely low anyway.

“Easy-peasy,” Daniel grinned confidently, making you internally roll your eyes at his overconfident ass.

Or perhaps you had let your annoyance show for real? You couldn’t tell anymore, the adrenaline rush in your veins making certain things too sharp and other dull. For instance, you registered Daniel’s eyes flickering towards the teacher’s stand, his already wide smile growing enough to nearly tear his mouth.

“Even easier when we have a substitute.”

“What,” you blurted out, head snapping to the professor at the front.

A flash of blond hair and a shade darker beard. Broad shoulders. Blue eyes of which you simply knew they had a glint of green in them.

Your heart positively stopped in your chest, your lips parting in mute horror.

“Oh shit.”

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Vocabulary: Perfetto - perfect Principessa – princess Aspetta – wait La mia (bella) ragazza – my (pretty) girl Zitta – shh Bella testolina – pretty head

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Part 2

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Eh, I swear the first idea was giving off less of a harassment vibe. But it gets better, I promise ;)

I apologize to Italians if you find this offensive, but it was in fact not my intention at all for Daniel to be a representation of a whole nation. I figured there are insistent jerks all over the globe. (And I happened to have an Italian real-life template, not gonna lie.)

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #234: The Witch’s Tale!

August, 1983

“Seasons of the Witch!”

If Wanda offers you a free Halloween mask, politely tell her no thanks.

A lot going on in this cover. Because this is one of those issues that summarizes a character’s continuity because wikipedia doesn’t exist yet and back issues aren’t super easy to get. 

Last time: There was an Avengers/Fantastic Four sorta crossover where Annihilus tried to blow up the universe. The primary fallout of that is that Vision walked into a null-field and then collapsed. He’s basically in a robot-coma recovering.

This time: the Avengers bring Vision home in a tube.

It looks like the kind of coffin you shoot into space but it’s not. It’s just a life-support capsule that looks like a space coffin.

Now though it sucks that Vision is in a robot coma, this does mean that he and Wanda are back involved with the book again. We briefly checked in with them during the Trial of Yellowjacket arc.

But we’ve been pretty short of Scarlet Witch and Vision since #211 when they left the team to try to have a go at a regular life. I’ll summarize in brief how that’s been at the appropriate time. Point being, that’s twenty some issues with a very low amount of my second favorite comic couple.

She-Hulk and Thor carry the capsule into the basement of Avengers Mansion because that’s where their medical center is. The basement. Of course. Why wouldn’t you put your medical center in the basement. Best place for it.

Wanda thanks Wasp for inviting her (and Vision) to stay at the Mansion when they could have stayed at the Baxter Building.

Wasp: “Nonsense! That place was left in a mess by Annihilus! Besides, the Avengers take care of their own!”

(Tangentially, the Avengers have always been more of a family to Wanda than anyone else aside from Django and Marya Maximoff who raised her and Pietro. The Avengers are Wanda’s family basically.)

Also, it’s not said anywhere but I feel like probably Reed Richards never did do that procedure that was supposed to help Vision recover more quickly as distracted as he was by Franklin’s injuries.

While Wanda hovers (metaphorically) around Vision’s tube, Wasp reflects on how hard this is hitting her.

Wasp: “She and the Vision were such a strange match, but they’ve been so devoted to each other their marriage worked -- !”

Oof, that bold hurts, Jan.

Wanda asks for some time alone with her husband so the Avengers leave the basement level medical center, all thinking thoughts as often happens.

Wasp feels guilty because she’s the one that called Wanda and Vision into action but justifies that they were needed. Even though they didn’t really accomplish much.... Kinda makes it worse.

Captain America asks Thor off to have a private chat.

Captain Marvel laments that they couldn’t destroy the field before Vision was injured. And Starfox muses about the sensitivity he senses from Captain Marvel.

Kinda wondering if Stern is trying to set up a love triangle between Starfox, Captain Marvel, and She-Hulk.

Speaking of She-Hulk.

She-Hulk: Any of us could’ve wound up in a tube... or on a slab. But that’s the risk we have to take!

A very typically She-Hulk of this era kind of thought. She’s very direct.

Wasp calls a rain-check on apartment hunting. Which is what she and She-Hulk were doing before the whole invisible dome thing.

And She-Hulk finds other ways to occupy her time.

She-Hulk: “Hey, Starfox! You have any plans for tonight?”

Starfox: “Well, I’d considered checking out the local sights, but if you have a better offer -- !”

She-Hulk: “Spaceman, I can show you some things you won’t believe!”

She’s very direct.

Over at Captain America and Thor’s private conversation, Captain America catches Thor up on the happenings re: Iron Man, i.e. Tony Stark.

Cap(tain America): “It’s Iron Man, Thor... the Wasp and I paid him a visit to find out why he’d resigned from the Avengers. I... don’t quite know how to say this, but... Tony Stark hasn’t just left the Avengers! He’s given up his identity as Iron Man... turned his armor over to another man!”

Thor: “Eh? ‘Tis most passing strange!”

Cap: “That’s not the only thing that’s ‘most passing strange!’ When we talked to him, Stark was so drunk, I’m surprised he was able to stand up! And when I suggested that he’d had too much to drink, he ordered Jan and me out of his apartment!”

Turns out that off-panel at some point, Tony confided his problems with alcoholism to Thor.

Another example of the close relationship that Thor and Iron Man used to have and lamentably don’t seem to have anymore.

Cap even says that Thor has known Tony longer than the rest of the Avengers. While Wasp has been on the team just as long as Thor has, yeah, Thor has known the man in Iron Man longer.

So Cap asks Thor to try to talk to Tony because maybe he could get through to him.

Thor: “I could try, Captain! But if he rejected your advice, while under the influence, I fear for my ability to do better!”

Cap: “What about your mortal identity? Maybe if you approached him as Dr. Don Blake... man to man...”

Thor: “Mayhap. I shall give this thought.”

Thor then hammer-whirl flies off, leaving Cap to think about whether there’s anything additional that he could do, maybe in Iron Man #172, which was on sale at the same time.

Since this issue is otherwise going to be a lot of recapping Scarlet Witch’s entire life, why not pop into another book briefly for some additional content?

I’m the boss and I’ll allow it.

So over in Iron Man in general and issue #172 specifically, Tony Stark is on hard times. We know about the alcoholism and Rhodey taking over as Iron Man. But a man called Obadiah Stane is also attempting an incredibly hostile takeover of Stark International. He’s bought up all the company’s debt (and it has a lot), he has a bunch of civil suits pending against the company, and he’s secretly been the architect behind Tony Stark’s imploding life. That and Tony himself. Takes two to implode.

The last hope Stark Int. has is a writ that will force Stane to back off for a week or two. It’s not a lot but it’ll be some breathing room. Only problem is that it needs Tony Stark’s notarized signature before 5 PM and they kinda lost track of him after he broke into a museum to put on some knight armor and had to be bailed out of jail.

Rhodey decides to call Captain America for help and that’s how we get the asterisk indicating that you should check out Iron Man #172.

Cap does find Tony but unfortunately, Tony slips away in the confusion when an old Iron Man foe called Firebrand (unfortunately not a gargoyle) sets the hotel on fire because he’s just incredibly pissed off at the idea of Tony Stark.

Cap’s less-nice confrontation with Tony about his drinking is decent drama (but possibly not the right tactic to take) though so have some of that.

Anyway. Back to Avengers.

Meanwhile, over on Long Island and at the Cross Technological Enterprises building, industrial espionage gets aggressive as some men in jumpsuits and balaclavas climb the building to sneak in.

One of them is worried because that Avenger guy Hawkeye is in charge of security but the boss is like pssh Hawkeye is a chump with a broken leg.

Then Hawkeye arrives on a hover scooter because insulting Hawkeye probably just summons him to prove you wrong. He has that kind of contrarian energy at times.

He shoots all of their guns out of their hands and pins them to the wall with arrows all before they can really do anything.

His leg may be broken but his arms aren’t. And those are the limbs that do archery.

Sure, his style is slightly harshed by having only one swashbuckler boot on but that still doesn’t stop him from shooting arrows.

A woman and a photographer show up instantly to take pictures of Hawkeye’s cool victory. Apparently the woman is Sheila Danning and she says that she’s in charge of PR for Cross Technological Enterprises.

People showing up to take pictures of how cool he is makes Hawkeye feel very appreciated so he happily poses for some pictures with the captured intruders.

I feel like this is going to end up related to the Hawkeye solo miniseries that’s published around this time. The events of the miniseries cost Hawkeye his hearing but gain him a wife. So we’ll call it a net positive for Clint.

I’ll possibly summarize the relevant parts of the series when it becomes relevant to Avengers, which I’m sure it will.

Several hours later, back over at Avengers Mansion, She-Hulk wakes up after a night with Starfox.

So let’s discuss a thing.

In a later She-Hulk series, the moral iffyness of Starfox’s ability to shoot pleasure at people’s brains and make them become infatuated with him is explored. In a legal sense. As in, Starfox gets put on trial for sexual assault and accused of using his powers to seduce people.

The question is raised whether he had ever used his powers to seduce She-Hulk in regards to them getting together like this in Avengers. And when he won’t give her a straight answer, she beats the shit out of him.

Eventually, the case goes all the way up to the Living Tribunal, the cosmic judge of all realities because of course there’s one of those, and a mind probe proves that Starfox did not use his abilities to influence She-Hulk’s decision to have sex with him.

They’re both just horny people.

Anyway, Starfox and She-Hulk get on first name non-codename basis with each other. Then Starfox takes off to go explore New York, but he and She-Hulk do make plans to get together again in the evening.

She-Hulk’s post-implied-coitus giddiness is rained on when she learns that Wanda hasn’t slept at all and has spent the whole night at Vision’s side.

So now its time for She-Hulk brand very direct friendship.

She tells Jarvis to go make breakfast and she’ll deal with Wanda.

As we saw in and about the Trial of Yellowjacket, She-Hulk doesn’t really beat around the bush.

So when Wanda says she’d rather stay at Vision’s side rather than get breakfast, She-Hulk grabs her and tries to physically drag her towards self-care.

She-Hulk: “Look, watching your hubby won’t make him get well any faster. You’re coming with me! You’ll feel a lot better with a little breakfast in you!”

It doesn’t go over well.

Wanda blasts She-Hulk away and now Jen and Wanda are angry at each other and Wasp arrived just in time to play baffled mediator.

She-Hulk: “I hope you have a good dentist, Red!”

Wasp: “Jennifer!”

She-Hulk: “She started it, Wasp! I was just showing her some hospitality, and she sent me flying with her crummy hex bolts!”

Scarlet Witch: “What?! You physically pull me from my husband’s side, and you call that hospitality?!?”

Wasp: “Girls, girls! We’re all friends here! I know how upset you must be, Wanda, but you mustn't let worry get the better of you! I think we all need a spot of breakfast! Please join me, Wanda. The She-Hulk will relieve you at watching over the Vision... we all will!”

She-Hulk: “That’s what I was trying to tell her!”

Jen’s heart was in the right place but she lacks much in the way of tact?

Anyway, Wasp and Wanda set up in the library and Jarvis brings breakfast pastries to them, though Wanda refuses any.

Free breakfast aggros Captain Marvel and now she’s here too. That and She-Hulk trying to make up through a proxy.

Captain Marvel: “A little bird told me that you were serving your continental special, and I just couldn’t stay away!”

Wasp: “A little bird, C.M.?”

Captain Marvel, whispering: “Well, a big bird! She-Hulk radioed me that the Scarlet Witch was still a little down, and suggested that I might be of help, cheering her up!”

You have a good heart, Jen-Hulk.

Also, Monica just beams right in through the library window as a sunbeam before forming back into her human shape. And that’s delightful. But would be startling. Jarvis is startled. He’s seen it all but all keeps expanding.

Monica and Wanda briefly bond over both speaking French when Monica praises that Jarvis’ pastries rival the best of the French Quarter. Jan is a bit lost because she doesn’t know any French but Monica and Wanda were just very excited because they don’t get to French very often. The language.

AND with the ice broken, Monica smoothly shifts topics over to asking Wanda about herself.

Captain Marvel: “You know, there’s so much I’d like to ask you. I’ve read all about you in the files, of course -- but they’re so impersonal. You’ve led such a fascinating life.”

Scarlet Witch: “Fascinating? I suppose... but I was too young to appreciate some of the more fantastic moments.”

AND THEN WANDA LEGIT, NO FURTHER PROMPTING, STARTS NARRATING HER WHOLE LIFE STARTING FROM BIRTH.

DAMN WANDA, exposition under pressure?

So Wanda tells Monica about how she was born in WUNDAGORE, a Balkan mountain in Transia with a super-advanced city built on it. The High Evolutionary was making furries for reasons which escape me but it explains why a cow-woman answered the door when Magda, supposedly Wanda’s mom although that has changed, came knocking on the door.

She was double pregnant and on the run from a husband who had developed terrible problems and an attitude problem.

The cow-woman Bova, invited Magda into the city and helped deliver her children Pietro and Wanda. And then Magda walked off into the snow to die, pulling a Padme-on-purpose-but-years-ahead-of-time by dying just after having twins.

Her thought process was that Mystery Husband would come looking for her but if he found her frozen in the snow, he wouldn’t find out that she’d had children? I dunno, this logic is a bit spurious.

I’m glad that Wanda’s current in the year 2021 real mom isn’t someone who walked off into the snow to die because it seemed like a good idea.

Showing what an awful idea this was, Magda left Wanda and Pietro in the care of Bova who had no idea what to do with two babies. So she took the matter to the High Evolutionary who also didn’t want to deal with it and decided to dump the babies on a childless Roma couple.

High Evolutionary: ‘DOES ANYBODY WANT SOME BABIES?’

Except the comic doesn’t say Roma, they say the g-slur. I don’t think Marvel ever stops doing that. Its a weird case where the portrayal is overall sympathetic but tinged with stereotypes and using a slur.

Shape up, Marvel.

I also notice that Wanda’s recap leaves out Fake Dad Robert Frank, the Whizzer.

The first time Wanda’s parentage was Totally Revealed For Real, it was revealed that not only Magda but Robert and Madeline Joyce Frank were hanging around Wundagore waiting to give birth.

I’ve already been into it before but originally it was just the Franks kids but the Whizzer whizzed off in grief when he learned his wife died in childbirth. Then when someone got it into their head to retcon otherwise, Magda was at Wundagore and gave birth to twins and then the High Evolutionary had Bova try to give the kids to Robert but he ran off in his grief so shrugged and passed them off to Django and Marya Maximoff AKA the real parents even if not biological.

To editorialize, the Maximoffs actually raised Wanda and Pietro so no matter what, I’ll always consider them the twins’ real parents.

Anyway, the Franks aren’t part of this retelling. Which is funny because for a while Wanda thought the Whizzer was their dad and treated him like one and now she’s dumped him like raw meat for ease of retelling. Tsk tsk.

So, Wanda and Pietro lived a good life and “better parents could hardly have been found.” Then when adolescence happened, Pietro suddenly could run really fast and Wanda “discovered that strange, unpredictable things would happen if I was in a certain frame of mind and gestured in a particular way.”

That’s a pretty specific mutant power. And she relates that she kept causing accidents by gesturing in the particular way while in a certain frame of mind, it’s like, Wanda, don’t gesture that way? Get mittens or tie your fingers together. Its not hard.

Your powers are so specific!

Stereotypes happen and an angry mob burns down the Maximoffs’ camp.

Pietro ran Wanda to safety and the shock was so great that they got AMNESIA.

Marya, I think, died but Django survived and went a little mad with grief, assuming he lost his wife and kids.

For a couple years, Wanda and Pietro just kicked it around Eastern Europe, Pietro using his superspeed to catch game. Things were going okay but not great up until the time that Wanda wandered into a village and made the fuck-things-up gesture and whoops fucked things up.

I’m telling you, Wanda, mittens.

Anyway, she set a house on fire, WITH HER MIND, and now there’s an angry mob after her assuming that she’s a witch.

As sometimes happens in Marvel Eastern Europe.

The mob chased Wanda to camp where Pietro lost his shit and superspeed tried to beat up a mob but wound up getting pinned down and beaten.

Then Magneto showed up and yanked all the crude farming implements away and told the mob to gtfo.

Magneto: “Come no further, homo sapiens! The two whom you attack are under the protection of Magneto!”

An idiot: “With power such as his, he can only be Satan himself!”

An idiot who has the right idea: “Run! Run for your lives!”

Wanda thanks Magneto for the save and he demands “Let neither of you ever forget what you owe me... ever!”

Cool. Cool cool cool.

Wanda: “He took us in... fed and clothed us... but never did he show us any human kindness. We were supposed to be above that, he said... we were mutants, and under his tutelage, we became Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch!”

What a dick.

Anyway, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver were forced to join Magneto and his other agents Toad and Mastermind.

Magneto’s Brotherhood clashed with the X-Men multiple times. And then the Stranger just sorta yoinked Magneto into space.

Early X-Men is a bafflement to me.

Wanda: “Our debt had been repaid to Magneto many times over. We were beholden to him no longer... We were free. And... we were alone. We had just begun to realize the potential of our mutant powers, but we did not know how best to use them. Cut off from Magneto’s cruel exploitation, we didn’t know what to do. I don’t know what would have become of us, had we not been accepted as Avengers! The Avengers gave purpose to our lives, gave us something to be part of.”

Anyway, being on the Avengers meant dangers and foes to fight but it also meant allies, friends, and ROBOT BOYFRIENDS.

Wanda: “Were it not for the Avengers, I might never have met the Vision! He was the product of a laboratory -- and many thought him to be inhumanely cold -- but I grew to love the warm, feeling inner man.”

Of course, if you tell Vision he has feelings he gets mad and insists NUH UH.

And dating Vision pissed off Quicksilver who basically disowned Wanda for a while.

But who gives a fuck what Pietro says, Wanda also learned WITCHCRAFT and (although not explicitly mentioned) how to summon METEORS TO SMASH HER FOES.

And she got married in a double ceremony where the other bride married a tree! That tree part doesn’t get mentioned.

After this, Wanda and Vision went on a short honeymoon but found that the hashtag Avengers life kept them so busy that they didn’t have a lot of time to themselves.

Then Real Dad Django Maximoff showed up and Wanda and Pietro went with him to Transia to learn their backstory.

Annnnnd Wanda got possessed by Chthon. Won’t be the first time ha ha.

Thankfully, the Avengers managed to do a care bear stare to unpossess her. Oh, and Django died. A misstep if you ask me. There was too much character potential to just kill him off after one arc.

Alas, alas.

Anyway, the recap skips over a whole bunch of stuff and doesn’t mention Moondragon’s role but we get to the point where Wanda and Vision quit the Avengers.

Wanda: “When the Vision and I were finally reunited, our thoughts began to turn inward. Our life with the Avengers was fulfilling, but apart from our careers, we had no real private life of our own. Would society accept us on our own, away from Avengers Mansion? We didn’t know -- but we had to at least try to find out. Taking our accrued Avengers salaries, we bought a modest little home in Leonia, New Jersey.”

So a brief recap of their adventures in the first Vision and Scarlet Witch miniseries.

In the first issue, Captain America’s Halloween housewarming gift of a cursed book winds up being cursed and contains Samhain. When Wanda didn’t immediately free him, he got angry and turned some trick or treaters into monster versions of their costumes to attack Vision while Samhain attacked Wanda. She manages to set the cursed tome on fire, ending Samhain’s power. FOR NOW. Then Not-Actually-Their-Father-But-Doesn’t-Know-It-Yet the Whizzer shows up.

In issue two, the Whizzer is looking for Wanda’s help in regaining custody of his son Nuklo the Nuclear Man. With their help, Whizzer manages to get the court to agree to release Nuklo to his custody. But the lead doctor managing Nuklo is secretly ISBISA! ... Y’know, the Whizzer’s old foe from his All-Winner’s Squad days? No? Okay, well he also masterminded the nuclear ‘accident’ that led to Nuklo’s birth in the first place. And now he’s back to finish the job with radiation siphoned from Nuklo. In anger at Wanda being drawn into Golden Age drama, Vision reveals that Wanda isn’t the Whizzer’s kid but it little matters because Whizzer has a massive heart attack and dies. Nuklo helps defeat Isbisa and both of them are drained of atomic power leaving them human. Oh and Vision’s arm gets melted off. That’s kinda important.

In issue three, Vision is in a robot coma and he needs an energy donation from Wonder Man, his brain brother, to recover. Comic books! Vision has a meaning laden coma dream where Ultron screams at him a lot. Grim Reaper attacks and tries to kill Vision and Wonder Man while they’re incapacitated because he has one character beat and its that. But Vision manages to subdue him.

In issue four, is the pertinent one for this issue.

I’m going to say, I think the second Vision and Scarlet Witch series is better. This was a series of loosely related mishaps. The second volume does more with Vision and Scarlet Witch living in suburbia as a concept.

Anyway, in the fourth issue and in this Avengers recap of Wanda’s entire life, after Vision lost his arm, he and Wanda went up to Attilan to get it replaced. Because the Inhumans can casually just build him a new arm that works with his powers.

And people say the Inhumans aren’t good for anything.

While on the moon, Wanda and Vision decide to visit with Pietro and Crystal and their new daughter Luna. Pietro was even not a dick to Vision. It was a nice moment until Magneto barged in and started a fight by insisting he wasn’t here to fight while trapping everyone inside the building. Also, he threatened Bova to get information on who his kids were and frankly, that’s unforgivable. Bova is an angel. A cow angel.

They fight fight fight and then the fight is ended when Luna cries and Magneto realizes he’s doing a big superhero/supervillain fight in the same room as a fragile child and realizes ‘wow maybe i’m the dick here.’

Now the Vision and Scarlet Witch series ends with the internal-reveal that MAGNETO is the father (for now) of Wanda and Pietro. Magneto asking them to accept him as such. And on a confused moment of ‘shit what now.’

The Avengers issue picks up on that and finishes out the scene.

While Wanda is too stunned to know what to say, Pietro has some choice words.

He snatches his daughter away from Magneto and tells him fuck off, you’re no father to me.

Magneto’s argument is ‘hey genetics is the only thing that matters you’re my son like it or not.’

Pietro’s counter argument is ‘nuh uh’ and that Django Maximoff is the only man he calls father. And Wanda agrees.

Its good to see some Django respect.

Magneto tells them they’ll see the error of their ways and flies off.

Which is the wrong tack to take to prove that you’ve changed and are ready to get some good dadding in and won’t kill your granddaughter for being a human.

He’s super bad at this.

After that, Wanda and Vision went home to New Jersey and just stayed at home for a while, Wanda was so horrified by the reveal.

Wanda: “Even now, I can hardly begin to express the horror, the shame! It’s as if I suddenly discovered Hitler lurking in my family tree! Part of me wishes that he is really sincere about tempering his hatred for non-mutant humans. But even if he was telling the truth, that can never excuse his past crimes... Nothing can!”

Its really surprising how ready people are in-universe to compare Magneto to Hitler. From Wanda to Cap to Xorn.

Wasp: “Wanda... you mustn’t torture yourself this way! Magneto has no claim on you, and you’re certainly not responsible for him! I know it must be tough, but you can’t let him ruin the rest of your life!”

These are helpful things to tell Wanda to calm her down.

Less helpful is when Wasp speculates that hey maybe it was okay not to believe Magneto when he said he’s changed because maybe he’ll become worse! Maybe his newfound tolerance of humanity will lead him to try to save humanity from itself rather than wipe it out. In reference to how Moondragon tried to do that on that planet we never heard from again.

Wanda: “Heaven help us, if such a thought occurs to Magneto!”

I’m pretty sure he’s going to be too busy in the near future trying to be teacher to the most death-prone idiots this side of Westchester. And then after that when he decides to be evil again, he’s going to do some nonsense with Asteroid M. But I don’t think he ever hits the ‘save humanity from itself’ point.

Anyway.

Wasp and Captain Marvel reassure Wanda that if Magneto Strikes Again the Avengers will be with her!

The following day, Wanda returns to Leonia, New Jersey to put together a suitcase of stuff since she’s going to be staying at Avengers Mansion for a while.

Wanda: “Jan was nice enough to offer me a few of her things, but they’re all too small for my figure. And that robe the She-Hulk lent me last night fit like a tent!”

Wasp and Scarlet Witch usually look the same size and shape but that’s important canon body shape information for someone, I guess. If they wanted to draw Avengers But Not All The Same Paper Dolls character designs.

Anyway, the issue really ends with Dr Strange showing up to pull Wanda into a crossover with his own book in Doctor Strange #60.

Ergh. This era sure has a lot of stuff going off on the sides.

I’ll synopsize Scarlet Witch’s time in Doctor Strange’s book if it becomes necessary but I’ve already looked at five non-Avengers issue for this post and am probably going to have to cover the Hawkeye series in brief too when it intersects with Avengers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ for grudging contextualization of everything that’s happening in Avengers, when I feel like it. Like and reblog if you liked.

[deancas-fanfiction]

Hardest Part is Letting Go

Part 3/7

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Fic Summary: Upon his diagnosis of a terminal illness, Dean vows to spend the rest of his short life with Cas by his side, completing his bucket list while learning what it really means to live and love.

Chapter Summary: Dean and Cas cross another item off Dean's bucket list by embarking on a road trip for Sam's law school graduation.

Part 1 Part 2

available on ao3

“Can you believe it? Sam Winchester: attorney at law.” Dean mused.

“Or Sam Winchester, Esquire.” Cas offered.

Dean snorted and shook his head, throwing another flannel in his suitcase. “He’s a big fancy lawyer now. My baby brother is all grown up.”

“Well, he is twenty-seven. I imagine he’s been ‘all grown up’ for some time now,” Cas joked.

“Yeah, I suppose when he married Jess that ship kind of sailed, huh?”

“I suppose.” Cas agreed with a faint smile. He zipped his suitcase and sat on their bed, watching Dean throw another wrinkled shirt in his bag. “Are you really not going to fold that?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas. It’s a t-shirt. I think it will be fine.”

“What about your nice shirt for his graduation?” He eyed Dean and took in the way he avoided meeting his eyes. “Please tell me you’re packing a nice shirt for his graduation.”

“It’s a graduation ceremony, Cas! I don’t need a suit. Remember his college graduation? Most people were dressed casually.”

“And remember when Jess booked us all a reservation at that French restaurant afterward? The host made you go home and change because you didn’t meet the dress code. Besides, I’m willing to bet Jess will make another fancy reservation for celebrations after the ceremony.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll bring a nice button-down. But I’m not wearing a suit,” He warned.

Cas held his hands up in mock surrender. “I would never dream of making you wear one.”

Dean threw the nearest button-down on the top of his suitcase and began zipping it up. He only paused when he heard Cas wince.

“It’s going to wrinkle, Dean!”

Dean stepped back and scratched his jaw, letting out a sigh. “Okay, new plan: I’ll leave the room and make us some dinner. This allows you to completely repack my suitcase the way you like, and I won’t even complain about it.” 

Cas grinned, happy with the outcome. “Deal!”

Dean kissed the top of his head and left the room, mumbling something about how a few wrinkles wouldn’t hurt anyone, which Cas pointedly chose to ignore. He then dumped out the contents of Dean’s suitcase and methodically began folding and repacking the luggage.

As predicted, autumn was fleeting and quickly turned into a cold and brutal winter. It was only early December, but the wind was biting and the snow ruthless. When Dean and Cas learned that Sam was graduating from law school a semester early, they were ecstatic. Mostly because Sam was the male equivalent of Elle Woods by graduating from law school top of his class, but also because they get to trade the incessant cold of Kansas for the sunny warmth of California.

The timing of his graduation was perfect, actually. Dean’s symptoms remained stagnant for the last two months and were completely manageable with the help of his medications. If Sam hadn’t taken those extra summer classes the last two years, he would actually be graduating in May and Cas wasn’t so sure if Dean could make that cross-country trek six months from now. But he pushed that thought from his mind and returned to the task at hand.

They originally planned on flying to California for the graduation, but then Cas had a stroke of genius. Remembering item six on Dean’s list, he suggested turning it into a road trip. For as long as Cas has known him, Dean dreamed of road tripping along the historic Route 66, which begins in Chicago and ends in Los Angeles; and suddenly all of the pieces fit into place. They would join Route 66 in Oklahoma, just four hours away from Lawrence. Then they’d follow the route all the way to L.A., arriving just in time for Sam’s graduation from UCLA. After he proposed the idea, Dean was completely on board and already mapping out the best stops for pie and burgers along the way. 

Cas finished with Dean’s suitcase and quickly returned his attention back to his own bag. He double-checked he had everything packed, including a small wooden box hidden at the bottom with a certain piece of jewelry inside. Satisfied with the completion of his mental checklist, Cas zipped the bags and followed the scent of dinner to the kitchen.

-----

“Dean.” Cas groaned, his voice rough and gravelly from sleep. “Must we leave at such an obscene hour?”

Dean chuckled and shut his car door. “According to the schedule that you made, we need to drive about twelve hours today to make it on time. I’m just following your orders, babe.”

“The sun isn’t even up yet,” Cas whined, slumping in the seat.

“Here, this will help.” Dean handed him a large thermos with coffee and started the engine. The engine purred beneath him and Dean couldn’t help but let out a quiet sigh. It always felt so good to get behind the wheel of his baby. He put the car into gear and pulled out of their driveway, heading towards the open road.

He glanced over at Cas as he took a large gulp of coffee. His hair was sticking out in all directions, making it clear Cas didn’t even attempt to smooth it down today. He smiled at the grumpy expression on Cas’s face and turned his attention back to the road, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

The first hour of the drive was quiet. They headed south to hop onto Route 66 in Oklahoma. While they weren’t making the official Route 66 trek by beginning in Chicago, Dean was completely fine with that. He’d spent most of his life in the Midwest, he didn’t need to backtrack just to see the flat landscape he was already familiar with. The radio was playing softly as Dean and Cas both took the time to wake up for the day. As Cas pointed out, it was still dark so there were few cars on the road. It was actually a rather peaceful start to the day. 

As soft colors began to replace the dark sky, Cas’s mood began to turn around as the caffeine entered his system. He hummed along with the radio and watched the snow-covered trees quickly pass by. The pastel pinks and oranges from the rising sun reflected off the white snow, creating a warm glow. At that thought, he turned and leaned his back against the passenger door so he was facing Dean.

“You know, at first I was disappointed with the timing of the road trip. I didn’t think the drive would be very picturesque in December. I always thought fall or summer would be the opportune time to go.” He paused, looking back out the window. “But this is actually really nice. Everything is so still and quiet.”

“Well, by the time we get farther west it will feel like summer anyway. So, we’ll get a little bit of both.”

“That’s true,” Cas mused. “We should have done a road trip like this a long time ago.”

“We were always too busy with life. You had summers off, but that’s when the shop got the busiest for me. We just never made the time to slow down and experience things like this.” Dean observed. “Not that being so busy was a bad thing. We both loved our jobs, but we always said, ‘there will be a better time’ or ‘maybe next year.’ But now…well we don’t really have that privilege, do we?”

“I suppose not,” Cas sighed sadly.

“On a positive note, I’m glad that now we’re making the time for things like this.”

“Me, too.” He murmured, attempting a smile.

“Hey,” Dean said softly. “Stop that.”

“Sorry, I don’t like thinking about how we can no longer make long-term plans.”

“Then don’t think about it.”

“You know it’s not that easy.”

“Yeah, yeah I get it. But right now, I’m here, okay?” Dean tore a hand away from the steering wheel and intertwined it with Cas’s. “Focus on that. When your mind starts wandering to those thoughts, shut it down and focus on the now. Because these moments right here, these are the ones I want you to look back on and I only want you to remember how happy we are. I don’t want this last year tainted with sadness. Can you do that for me?”

Cas nodded and squeezed Dean’s hand. The gesture said more than he could vocalize at the moment. Cas had never cared for anyone as much he does for Dean. He always thought that finding Dean and experiencing that all-consuming, world-shattering love with him was like some kind of reward for surviving the first shitty eighteen years of his life. But now that Cas knows their time together is limited, he can’t help but feel like the punchline to some kind of cosmic joke.

He shook his head and slowly exhaled, turning his attention on Dean’s advice to focus on the positives. Dean is next to him right now and that’s all that matters. He has his left hand draped on the steering wheel with his right intertwined with Cas’s; and despite the heavy conversation, he still has a genuine smile on his face. It’s the kind of smile that lights up his whole face, giving him a youthful glow regardless of the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Cas returned his smile with a genuine one this time.

“We’re doing this all wrong, you know.” Cas states, changing the subject.

“Doing what wrong?” Dan asks quizzically.

“Your bucket list item. It said, ‘road trip with a kickass playlist.’ We’re currently road-tripping listening to a subpar radio station. Not really the same thing.”

“No,” He agreed. “I suppose it isn’t the same thing. Grab a tape out of the glove box, will ya?”

“I know you have very strict rules which state that the driver picks the music, but you’ll have to make an exception for this one instance.” Cas held up a cassette tape he dug out of his own jacket pocket which read ‘Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx.’

Dean grinned. “That is always an exception. Pop it in.”

He inserted the tape into the player and turned the volume up a little higher. The opening notes to Immigrant Song played out and Cas settled into his seat, letting the music wash over him.

“Remember when I gave this to you?” Dean baited.

“We were fighting,” Cas laughed.

“Over something stupid.”

“Big surprise there.”

“God, I don’t even remember what the fight was about anymore.”

“I do. You –” Cas caught himself off. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.”

“Good save, Cas.”

Cas smirked. “You hadn’t talked to me all day. I was reading in the living room and you stomped in, dropped it on my lap and just walked away.”

“This was early in our relationship. I was bad at communicating! This was the best way I could tell you I was an idiot and that I was sorry.”

“Well, it obviously worked. I went for a drive and listened to it. I forgave you by the time this first song was over.”

“It’s only a two-minute song, Cas.”

“Exactly my point. I never have much resolve when it comes to staying mad at you, do I?”

“I suppose not,” Dean acknowledged. “Besides, that was a pretty romantic move on my part.”

“Yes, it was. If I hadn’t already been so in love with you at that point, I’m sure the mixtape would have sealed that deal.”

“So, what you’re saying is I should have made you a mixtape right after I met you?”

“I’m pretty sure from the moment I met you, I knew you were someone special, Dean.”

Dean flushed at that statement and he felt the tips of his ears turn pink. At this point in their relationship, he’d grown accustomed to how forward Cas can be, but it still has quite an impact on him. “Yeah, I thought the same about you,” He murmured.

Cas beamed at him, showing the whites of his teeth and leaned over to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. At that exact moment, the song ended and switched into Good Times Bad Times. Dean cranked it up and sang loudly along with Cas.

I know what it means to be alone

I sure do wish I was at home

I don't care what the neighbors say

I'm gonna love you each and every day

You can feel the beat within my heart

Realize, sweet babe, we ain't ever gonna part

Yeah, this moment here is the exact reason he put this item on his bucket list.

In no time, they were cruising on Route 66 heading west towards New Mexico, their destination for the night. When they stopped to grab gas and snacks a few miles back, Cas grabbed a handful of Route 66 brochures and had been thoughtfully studying them ever since.

“Anything good?” Dean asked, rather amused at his boyfriend’s total infatuation with the tourist gimmick.

“Did you know that Route 66 was commissioned in 1926 but wasn’t fully paved until 1938? Then in 1985, it was decertified a U.S. highway. Originally it was 2,448 miles in 1926 but now it totals 2,278 miles from beginning to end.”

Dean hummed in response, not daring to interrupt Cas. He learned it’s best to let Cas get it out of his system.

“You know, there’s a place called ‘Cadillac Ranch’ in Texas. We could stop there! We’re pretty close.” He chirped, bringing Dean’s attention back to the conversation.

“A Cadillac ranch?” Dean grimaced. “What is that?”

“It’s a public art sculpture of ten Cadillac’s buried nose-first in the ground.” Cas paused for a moment. “Actually, that doesn’t sound very appealing at all.”

Dean chuckled. “Thank God. I was wondering how I was going to talk you out of it.”

“Are there any stops along the way you want to make?”

“Cas, I’m in this for the driving and for the company. I don’t need to stop at niche tourist stops unless it’s something you really want to do.”

“I just want to make sure you get the full road trip experience!”

“To me, the full road trip experience is exactly what we got going: good music, good conversation, and my car. I don’t need anything else; I promise.”

“If you say so,” Cas’s lips turned up at the corner, in a smile that Dean recognized as pure contentment.

The rest of their drive sped by as they joked, sang along to the music, and reminisced as songs played that reminded them of different points in their lives. Soon enough, they were pulling into Santa Rosa, New Mexico where they decided to call it for a night. They found a mediocre chain hotel with vacancy and pulled off the road. At that point they had been in the car for a little over twelve hours and were in desperate need of some space to stretch out. Driving long distances used to be much easier. Now Dean’s joints popped as he stepped out of the Impala and his legs felt uncomfortably stiff.

Dean checked them in as Cas went to grab dinner. The original plan was to grab food and drinks to celebrate a successful first day, but Dean could feel the exhaustion weighing him down. So, Cas volunteered to pick up takeout instead. After throwing his and Cas’s bags down on the floor, Dean collapsed on the bed. Instantly he longed for his memory foam as the springs of the cheap mattress poked against his back. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure it would be a big enough problem to keep him awake as he was so damn tired.

As he was beginning to nod off, he heard the door to the room click open and was met with the intoxicating smell of greasy takeout.  

“Honey, I’m home!” Cas greeted cheerfully. “And I brought pie.”

Dean shot up from his spot on the bed and kissed Cas in thanks. “God, I love you.”

“Are you talking to me or the food?”

“Why not both?” He asked, his mouth already full of fries.

“Touché.” Cas laughed and began digging in as well. He joined Dean on the bed, with their knees touching as he flipped on the television and found a movie for them to watch. They ate in a peaceful quiet, both engrossed in the movie.

Once the food was gone and the slices of pie were eaten, they both began tiredly stripping down to their boxers.

Dean watched with a different form of hunger in his eyes as Cas undressed.

“I can feel you watching me.” He chided, bending over to put his discarded clothes back in his bag.

“Of course, I am. I have a sexy boyfriend who is undressing right in front of me,” He murmured, wrapping his arms around Cas. Cas leaned back into the touch, letting out a soft sigh. Dean began peppering kisses along Cas’s jaw, pausing only to suck on the sensitive spot below his ear. Cas let out a quiet whimper at that and closed his eyes. Dean continued kissing down his neck to his shoulders when he paused to fight a yawn breaking to the surface.  

Cas laughed and the tension immediately lifted. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

“I don’t wanna,” Dean grumbled. Yet he allowed himself to be pulled to bed anyway.

“You can have your way with me tomorrow, I promise. But for now, sleep.”

Dean hummed and pulled Cas’s arm around his waist, so they were spooning. All previous annoyances about the crappy mattress were pushed from his head and quickly replaced with thoughts of Cas as he felt a soft kiss press to the back of his neck. With that, he allowed himself to lose consciousness and fall into a deep, happy sleep.

Author’s Note: Surprise, I decided to post the chapter two days early! Originally I planned on the whole road trip and Sam's graduation taking place in one chapter but it's turning out to be much longer than I anticipated. So I'll be breaking it up over the next chapter or two.

I also decided to change Sam's law school from Stanford to UCLA for the purpose of the road trip because Stanford would have been another 5 hours from L.A. and this just made it less complicated. Next chapter you can expect some smut, more road-tripping shenanigans and Sam! Please let me know what you think so far!

[za3k]

2020 Videogames

In 2020 I’m newly retired, so I’ve had free time. I think it’s fun to do reviews, so without further ado here’s every video game I played in 2020!

I recommend:

(4/5) Among Us – Very fun. It’s only fun with voice chat with friends, so I’ve only gotten to play once or twice. I’ve been watching it more than playing it. Also free to play for mobile gamers–I’m tired of the “everyone buys a copy” model of group gameplay.

(4/5) Brogue. Brogue is an ascii-art roguelike. It’s great, and it has a nice difficulty ramp. It’s a good “quick break” game. I play it in preference to other roguelikes partly because I haven’t done it to death yet, and partly because I don’t need a numpad?

(4/5) Cook Serve Delicious 3. One of the more fun games I played this year. You get really into it, but I had trouble relaxing and paying attention to the real world when I played too much, haha. I own but haven’t played the first two–I gather this is pretty much just a refinement.

(4/5) Green Hell. Price tag is a bit high for the number of hours I got out of it, but I haven’t finished the story. Great graphics, and the BEST map design I’ve seen in a 3D game in a long time. It feels like a real place, with reasonable geography instead of copy-pasted tiles. I love that as you walk along, you can just spot a cultivated area from the rest of the jungle–it feels more like it’s treating me like an adult than most survival games. Everything still gets highlighted if you can pick it up. I played the survival mode, which was okay but gets old quickly. I started the story mode–I think it would be fine, but it has some LONG unskippable scenes at the start, including a very hand-holdy tutorial, that I think they should have cut. I did start getting into the story and was having fun, but I stopped. I might finish the game some time.

(4/5) Hyperrogue. One of my recent favorites. The dev has made a fair number of highly experimental games, most of which are a total miss with me, but this one is fun. I do wish the early game wasn’t quite as repetitive. Failing another solution, I might actually want this not to be permadeath, or to have a save feature? I bought it on steam to support the dev and get achievements, but it’s also available a version or two behind free, which is how I tried it. Constantly getting updates and new worlds.

(4/5) Minecraft – Compact Claustrophobia modpack. Fun idea, nice variety. After one expansion felt a little samey, and it was hard to start with two people. I’d consider finishing this pack.

(4/5) Overcooked 2. Overcooked 2 is just more levels for Overcooked. The foods in the second game is more fun, and it has better controls and less bugs. If you’re considering playing Overcooked, I recommend just starting with the second game, despite very fun levels in the first. I especially appreciate that the second game didn’t just re-use foods from the first.

(4/5) Please Don’t Press Anything. A unique little game where you try to get all the endings. I had a lot of fun with this one, but it could have used some kind of built-in hints like Reventure. Also, it had a lot of red herrings. Got it for $2, which it was well worth.

(5/5) Reventure. Probably the best game new to me this year. It’s a short game where you try to get each of about 100 endings. The art and writing are cute and funny. The level design is INCREDIBLE. One thing I found interesting is the early prototype–if I had played it, I would NOT have imagined it would someday be any fun at all, let alone as amazing as it is. As a game designer I found that interesting! I did 100% complete this one–there’s a nice in-game hint system, but there were still 1-3 “huh” puzzles, especially in the post-game content, one of which I had to look up. It’s still getting updates so I’m hoping those will be swapped for something else.

(5/5) Rimworld. Dwarf fortress, but with good cute graphics, set in the Firefly universe. Only has 1-10 pawns instead of hundreds of dwarves. Basically Dwarf Fortress but with a good UI. I wish you could do a little more in Rimworld, but it’s a fantastic, relaxing game.

(5/5) Slay the Spire. Probably the game I played most this year. A deckbuilding adventure through a series of RPG fights. A bit luck-based, but relaxing and fun. I like that you can play fast or slow. Very, very well-designed UI–you can really learn how things work. My favorite part is that because it’s singleplayer, it’s really designed to let you build a game-breaking deck. That’s how it should be!

(4/5) Stationeers. I had a lot of fun with this one. It’s similar to Space Engineers but… fun. It has better UI by a mile too, even if it’s not perfect. I lost steam after playing with friends and then going back to being alone, as I often do for base-building games. Looks like you can genuinely make some complicated stuff using simple parts. Mining might not be ideal.

(5/5) Spy Party. One of my favorite games. Very fun, and an incredibly high skill ceiling. There’s finally starting to be enough people to play a game with straners sometimes. Bad support for “hot seat”–I want to play with beginners in person, and it got even harder with the introduction of an ELO equivalent and removing the manual switch to use “beginner” gameplay.

(4/5) Telling Lies. A storytelling game. The core mechanic is that you can use a search engine for any phrase, and it will show the top 5 survellance footage results for that. The game internally has transcripts of every video. I didn’t really finish the game, but I had a lot of fun with it. The game was well-made. I felt the video acting didn’t really add a huge amount, and they could have done a text version, but I understand it wouldn’t have had any popular appeal. The acting was decent. There’s some uncomfortable content, on purpose.

(4/5) Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS). Delightful. Very silly, not what you’d expect from the name. What everyone should have been doing with physics engines since they were invented. Imagine that when a caveman attacks, the club moves on its own and the caveman just gets ragdolled along, glued to it. Also the caveman and club have googley eyes. Don’t try to win or it will stop being fun. Learn how to turn on slo-mo and move the camera.

(4/5) We Were Here Together. Lots of fun. I believe the second game out of three. Still some crashes and UI issues. MUCH better puzzles and the grpahics are gorgeous. They need to fix the crashes or improve the autosave, we ended up replaying a lot of both games from crashes. It’s possible I should be recommending the third game but I haven’t played it yet.

The Rest

(3/5) 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel. More fun that it sounds. If you play to mess around and win by accident, it’s pretty good. Definitely play with a second human player, though.

(1.5/5) 7 billion humans. Better than the original, still not fun. Soulless game about a soulless, beige corporation. Just play Zachtronics instead. If you’re on a phone and want to engage your brain, play Euclidea.

(3/5) A Dark Room. Idle game.

(1/5) Amazing Cultivation Simulator. A big disappointment. Bad english voice acting which can’t be turned off, and a long, unskippable tutorial. I didn’t get to actual gameplay. I like Rimworld and cultivation novels so I had high hopes.

(3/5) ADOM (Steam version) – Fun like the original, which I would give 5/5. Developed some major issues on Linux, but I appreciate that there’s a graphical version available, one of my friends will play it now.

(4/5) agar.io – Good, but used to be better. Too difficult to get into games now. Very fun and addictive gameplay.

(3/5) Amorous – Furry dating sim. All of the hot characters are background art you can’t interact with, and the characters you can actually talk to are a bunch of sulky nerds who for some reason came to a nightclub. I think it was free, though.

(0/5) Apis. Alpha game, AFAIK I was the first player. Pretty much no fun right now (to the point of not really being a game yet), but it could potentially become fun if the author puts in work.

(4/5) Autonauts. I played a ton of Autonauts this year, almost finished it, which is rare for me. My main complaint is that it’s fundamentally supposed to be a game about programming robots, but I can’t actually make them do more than about 3 things, even as a professional programmer. Add more programming! It can be optional, that’s fine. They’re adding some kind of tower defense waves instead, which is bullshit. Not recommended because it’s not for everyone.

(3/5) A-Z Inc. Points for having the guts to have a simple game. At first this looked like just the bones of Swarm Simulator, but the more you look at the UI and the ascension system, the worse it actually is. I would regularly reset because I found out an ascension “perk” actually made me worse off.

(5/5) Beat Saber. Great game, and my favorite way to stay in shape early this year. Oculus VR only, if you have VR you already have this game so no need to recommend. Not QUITE worth getting a VR set just to play it at current prices.

(1/5) Big Tall Small. Good idea, but no fun to play. Needed better controls and level design, maybe some art.

(0.5/5) Blush Blush. Boring.

(3/5) Business Shark. I had too much fun with this simple game. All you do is just eat a bunch of office workers.

(3/5) chess.com. Turns out I like chess while I’m high?

(3/5) Circle Empires Rivals. Decent, more fun than the singleplayer original. It shouldn’t really have been a separate game from Circle Empires, and I’m annoyed I couldn’t get it DRM-free like the original.

(3/5) Cross Virus. By Dan-box. Really interesting puzzle mechanics.

(4/5) Cultist Simulator. Really fun to learn how to play–I love games that drop you in with no explanation. Great art and writing, I wish I could have gotten their tarot deck. Probably the best gameplay “ambience” I’ve seen–getting a card that’s labeled “fleeting sense of radiance” that disappears in 5 seconds? Great. Also the core stats are very well thought out for “feel” and real-life accuracy–dread (depression) conquers fascination (mania), etc. It has a few gameplay gotchas, but they’re not too big–layout issues, inability to go back to skipped text, or to put your game in an unwinnable state early on). Unfortunately it’s a “roguelike”, and it’s much too slow-paced and doesn’t have enough replay value, so it becomes a horrible, un-fun grind when you want to actually win. I probably missed the 100% ending but I won’t be going back to get it. I have no idea who would want to play this repeatedly. I’m looking forward to the next game from the same studio though! I recommend playing a friend’s copy instead of buying.

(2/5) Darkest Dungeon. It was fine but I don’t really remember it.

(2/5) Dicey Dungeons. Okay deck-building roguelike gameplay (with an inventory instead of a deck). Really frustrating, unskippably slow difficulty curve at the start. I played it some more this year and liked it better because I had a savegame. I appreciate having several character classes, but they should unlock every difficulty from the start.

(2/5) Diner Bros. Basically just a worse Overcooked. I didn’t like the controls, and it felt too repetitive with only one diner.

(2/5) Don’t Eat My Mind You Stupid Monster. Okay art and idea, the gameplay wasn’t too fun for me.

(2/5) Don’t Starve – I’ve played Don’t Stave maybe 8 different times, and it’s never really gripped me, I always put it back down. It’s slow, a bit grindy, and there’s no bigger goal–all you can do is live.

(3/5) Don’t Starve Together – Confusingly, Don’t Starve Together can be played alone. It’s Don’t Starve, plus a couple of the expansions. This really could be much more clearly explained.

(1/5) Elemental Abyss – A deck-builder, but this time it’s grid-based tactics. Really not all that fun. Just play Into the Abyss instead or something.

(1/5) Else Heart.Break() – I was excited that this might be a version of “Hack N’ Slash” from doublefine that actually delivered and let you goof around with the world. I gave it up in the first ten minutes, because the writing and characters drove me crazy, without getting to hacking the world.

(2/5) Everything is Garbage. Pretty good for a game jam game. Not a bad use of 10 minutes. I do think it’s probably possible to make the game unwinnable, and the ending is just nothing.

(1/5) Evolve. Idle game, not all that fun. I take issue with the mechanic in Sharks, Kittens, and this where buying your 15th fence takes 10^15 wood for some reason.

(4/5) Exapunks. Zachtronics has really been killing it lately, with Exapunks and Opus Magnum. WONDERFUL art and characters during story portions, and much better writing. The gameplay is a little more varied than in TIS-100 or the little I played of ShenZen I/O. My main complaint about Zachtronics games continues to be, that I don’t want to be given a series of resource-limited puzzles (do X, but without using more than 10 programming instructions). Exapunks is the first game where it becomes harder to do something /at all/, rather than with a particular amount of resources, but it’s still not there for me. Like ShenZen, they really go for a variety of hardware, too. Can’t recommend this because it’s really only for programmers.

(1/5) Exception. Programming game written by some money machine mobile games company. Awful.

(4/5) Factorio. Factorio’s great, but for me it doesn’t have that much replay value, even with mods. I do like their recent updates, which included adding blueprints from the start of the game, improving belt sorting, and adding a research queue. We changed movement speed, made things visually always day, and adding a small number of personal construction robots from the start this run. I’m sure if you’d like factorio you’ve played it already.

(3/5) Fall Guys – I got this because it was decently fun to watch. Unfortunately, it’s slightly less fun to play. Overall, there’s WAY too much matchmaking waiting considering the number of players, and the skill ceiling is very low on most of the games, some of which are essentially luck (I’m looking at you, team games).

(3/5) Forager – Decent game. A little too much guesswork in picking upgrades–was probably a bit more fun on my second play because of that. Overall, nice graphics and a cute map, but the gameplay could use a bit of work.

(3/5) Getting Over It – Funny idea, executed well. Pretty sure my friends and I have only gotten through 10% of the game, and all hit about the same wall (the first tunnel)

(3/5) Guild of Dungeoneering – Pretty decent gameplay. I feel like it’s a bit too hard for me, but that’s fine. Overall I think it could use a little more cute/fun art, I never quite felt that motivated.

(1/5) Hardspace: Shipbreakers. Okay, I seriously didn’t get to play this one, but I had GAMEBREAKING issues with my controller, which is a microsoft X-box controller for PC–THE development controller.

(2/5) Helltaker. All right art, meh gameplay. But eh, it’s free!

(3/5) Hot Lava. Decent gameplay. Somehow felt like the place that made this had sucked the souls out of all the devs first–no one cared about the story or characters. It’s a game where the floor is made out of lava, with a saturday morning cartoon open, so that was a really an issue. Admirable lack of bugs, though. I’m a completionist so I played the first world a lot to get all the medals, and didn’t try the later ones.

(3/5) House Flipper – Weird, but I had fun. I wish the gameplay was a little more unified–it felt like a bunch of glued-together minigames.

(2/5) Hydroneer. Utterly uninspiring. I couldn’t care about making progress at all, looked like a terrible grind to no benefit.

(1/5) io. Tiny game, I got it on Steam, also available on phone. Basically a free web flash game, but for money. Not good enough to pay the $1 I paid. Just a bit of a time-killer.

(3/5) Islanders – All you do is place buildings and get points. Not particularly challenging, but relaxing. Overall I liked it.

(3/5) Jackbox – I played this online with a streamer. Jackbox has always felt a little bit soulless money grab to me, but it’s still all right. I like that I can play without having a copy–we need more games using this purchase model.

(3/5) Life is Feudal – Soul-crushingly depressing and grindy, which I knew going in. I thought it was… okay, but I really want an offline play mode (Yes, I know there’s an unsupported single-player game, but it’s buggier and costs money). UI was pretty buggy, and I think hunting might literally be impossible.

(2/5) Minecraft – Antimatter Chemistry. Not particularly fun.

(3/5) Minecraft – ComputerCraft. I played a pack with just ComputerCraft and really nothing else. Was a little slow, would have been more fun with more of an audience. I love the ComputerCraft mod, I just didn’t have a great experience playing my pack I made.

(3/5) Minecraft – Foolcraft 3. Fun, a bit buggy. Honestly I can’t remember it too well.

(1/5) Minecraft – Manufactio. Looked potentially fun, but huge bugs and performance issues, couldn’t play.

(4/5) Minecraft – Tekkit. Tekkit remains one of my favorite Minecraft modpacks.

(3/5) Minecraft – Valhelsia 2. I remember this being fun, but I can’t remember details as much as I’d like. I think it was mostly based around being the latest version of minecraft?

(4/5) Minecraft – Volcano Block. Interesting, designed around some weird mods I hadn’t used. I could have used more storage management or bulk dirt/blocks early in the game–felt quite cramped. Probably got a third of the way through the pack. I got novelty value out of it, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I had ever used the plant mod before–it’s a very fixed, linear progression.

(5/5) Minit. This is a weird, small game. I actually had a lot of fun with it. Then I 100% completed it, which was less fun but I still had a good time overall.

(3/5) Monster Box. By Dan-box. One of two Dan-box games I played a lot of. Just visually appealing, the gameplay isn’t amazing. Also, Dan-box does some great programming–this is a game written in 1990 or so, and it can render hundreds of arrows in the air smoothly in a background tab.

(3/5) Monster Train. A relatively fun deckbuilding card game. It can’t run well on my computer, which is UNACCEPTABLE–this is a card game with 2D graphics. My MICROWAVE should run this shit in 2020. Ignoring that, the gameplay style (summon monsters, MTG style) just isn’t my cup of tea.

(2/5) Moonlighter. Felt like it was missing some inspiration, just didn’t have a sense of “fun”. The art was nice. The credits list is surprisingly long.

(2/5) Muse Dash. All right, a basic rhythm game. Not enough variety to the game play, and everything was based around perfect or near-perfect gameplay, which makes things less fun for me.

(3/5) NES games – various. Dr Mario, Ice Climbers. Basically, I got some Chinese handheld “gameboy” that has all the NES games preloaded on it. Overall it was a great purchase.

(2/5) Noita. “The Powder Game” by Dan-Box, as a procedurally generated platformer with guns. Lets you design your own battle spells. Despite the description, you really still can’t screw around as much as I’d like. I also had major performance issues

(3/5) Observation. I haven’t played this one as much as I’d like, I feel like it may get better. Storytelling, 3D game from the point of view of the AI computer on a space station. I think I might have read a book it’s based on, unfortunately.

(2/5) One Step From Eden. This is a deck-building combat tactics game. I thought it was turn-based, but it’s actually realtime. I think if it was turn-based I would have liked it. The characters were a bit uninspired.

(1/5) Orbt XL. Very dull. I paid $0.50 for it, it was worth that.

(4/5) Opus Magnum. Another great game from Zachtronics, along with Exapunks they’re really ramping up. This is the third execution of the same basic concept. I’d like to see Zachtronics treading new ground more as far as gameplay–that said, it is much improved compared to the first two iterations. The art, writing, and story were stellar on the other hand.

(3/5) Out of Space. Fun idea, you clean a spaceship. It’s never that challenging, and it has mechanics such that it gets easier the more you clean, rather than harder. Good but not enough replay value. Fun with friends the first few times. The controls are a little wonky.

(1/5) Outpost (tower defense game). I hate all tower defense.

(3/5) Overcooked. Overcooked is a ton of fun.

(4/5) Powder Game – Dan-box. I played this in reaction to not liking Noita. It’s fairly old at this point. Just a fun little toy.

(1/5) Prime Mover – Very cool art, the gameplay put me to sleep immediately. A “circuit builder” game but somehow missing any challenge or consistency.

(2/5) Quest for Glory I. Older, from 1989. Didn’t really play this much, I couldn’t get into the writing, and the pseudo-photography art was a little jarring.

(4/5) Raft. I played this in beta for free on itch.io, and had a lot of fun. Not enough changed that it was really worth a replay, but it has improved, and I got to play with a second player. Not a hard game, which I think was a good thing. The late game they’ve expanded, but it doesn’t really add much. The original was fun and so was this.

(3/5) Satisfactory. I honestly don’t know how I like this one–I didn’t get too far into it.

(4/5) Scrap Mechanic. I got this on a recommendation from a player who played in creative. I only tried the survival mode–that mode is not well designed, and their focuses for survival are totally wrong. I like the core game, you can actually build stuff. If I play again, I’ll try the creative mode, I think.

(3.5/5) Shapez.io. A weird, abstracted simplification of Factorio. If I hadn’t played factorio and half a dozen copies, I imagine this would have been fun, but it’s just more of the same. Too much waiting–blueprints are too far into the game, too.

(2.5/5) Simmiland. Okay, but short. Used cards for no reason. For a paid game, I wanted more gameplay out of it?

(0.5/5) Snakeybus. The most disappointing game I remember this year. Someone made “Snake” in 3D. There are a million game modes and worlds to play in. I didn’t find anything I tried much fun.

(1/5) Soda Dungeon. A “mobile” (read: not fun) style idle game. Patterned after money-grab games, although I don’t remember if paid progress was actually an option. I think so.

(4/5) Spelunky. The only procedurally generated platformer I’ve ever seen work. Genuinely very fun.

(4/5) Spelunky 2. Fun, more of an upgrade of new content than a new game. Better multiplayer. My computer can’t run later levels at full speed.

(1/5) Stick Ranger 2. Dan-box. Not much fun.

(3/5) Superliminal. Fun game. A bit short for the pricetag.

(3/5) Tabletop Simulator – Aether’s End: Legacy. Interesting, a “campaign” (series of challenge bosses and pre-written encounters) deckbuilding RPG. I like the whole “campaign RPG boardgame” idea. This would have worked better with paper, there were some rough edges in both the game instructions and the port to Tabletop Simulator.

(4/5) Tabletop Simulator – The Captain is Dead. Very fun. I’d love to play with more than 2 people. Tabletop simulator was so-so for this one.

(2/5) Tabletop Simulator – Tiny Epic Mechs. You give your mech a list of instructions, and it does them in order. Arena fight. Fun, but I think I could whip up something at least as good.

(3/5) The Council. One of the only 3D games I finished. It’s a story game, where you investigate what’s going on and make various choices. It’s set in revolutionary france, at the Secret World Council that determines the fate of the world. It had a weak ending, with less choice elements than the rest of the game so far, which was a weird decision. Also, it has an EXCRUTIATINGLY bad opening scene, which was also weird. The middle 95% of the game I enjoyed, although the ending went on a little long. The level of background knowledge expected of the player swung wildly–they seemed to expect me to know who revolutionary French generals were with no explanation, but not Daedalus and the Minotaur. The acting was generally enjoyable–there’s a lot of lying going on in the game and it’s conveyed well. The pricetag is too high to recommend.

(0/5) The Grandma’s Recipe (Unus Annus). This game is unplayably bad–it’s just a random pixel hunt. Maybe it would be fun if you had watched the video it’s based on.

(3/5) The Room. Pretty fun! I think this is really designed for a touchscreen, but I managed to play it on my PC. Played it stoned, which I think helps with popular puzzle games–it has nice visuals but it’s a little too easy.

(3/5) This Call May Be Recorded. Goofy experimental game.

(4/5) TIS-100. Zachtronics. A programming game. I finally got done with the first set of puzzles and into the second this year. I had fun, definitely not for everyone.

(3/5) Trine. I played this 2-player. I think the difficulty was much better 2-player, but it doesn’t manage 2 players getting separated well. Sadly we skipped the story, which seemed like simple nice low-fantasy. Could have used goofier puzzles, it took itself a little too seriously and the levels were a bit same-y.

(2/5) Unrailed. Co-op railroad building game. It was okay but there wasn’t base-building. Overall not my thing. I’d say I would prefer something like Overcooked if it’s going to be timed? Graphics reminded me of autonauts.

(2/5) Vampire Night Shift. Art game. Gameplay could have used a bit of polish. Short but interesting.

(4/5) Wayward. To date, the best survival crafting system I’ve seen. You can use any pointy object and stick-like object, together with glue or twine, to make an arrow. The UI is not great, and there’s a very counter-intuitive difficulty system. You need to do a little too much tutorial reading, and it could use more goals. Overall very fun. Under constant development, so how it plays a given week is a crapshoot. The steam version finally works for me (last time I played it was worse than the free online alpha, now it’s the same or better). I recomend playing the free online version unless you want to support the author.

(1/5) We Need to Go Deeper. Multiplayer exploration game in a sub, with sidescrolling battle. Somehow incredibly unfun, together with high pricetag. Aesthetics reminded me of Don’t Starve somehow.

(2/5) We Were Here. Okay 2-player puzzle game. Crashed frequently, and there were some “huh” puzzles and UI. Free.

(3/5) Yes, your grace. Gorgeous pixel art graphics. The story is supposed to be very player-dependent, but I started getting the feeling that it wasn’t. I didn’t quite finish the game but I think I was well past halfway. Hard to resume after a save, you forget things. I got the feeling I wouldn’t replay it, which is a shame because it’s fun to see how things go differently in a second play with something like this.

These are not all new to me, and very few came out in 2020. I removed any games I don’t remember and couldn’t google (a fair number, I play a lot of game jam games) as well as any with pornographic content.

2020 Videogames was originally published on Optimal Prime

[darkestwolfx]

Bolt from the Blue - Re-Review #42

“Isn’t that something else?”

Yes, because when has a giant, blue laser in the sky transmitting solar energy down to Earth ever been a good idea in the world of Thunderbirds Are Go? Oh no, nobody panic, this is a completely innocent piece of machinery.

Look at Parker getting all technical.

“Mr Kinnear!”

This poor man just can’t catch a break can he? He finally came to his senses and left behind the waste of space that is Fischler - honestly I wouldn’t have stayed working for that man as long as this guy did - only to end up with what seems like his sister?

And after all this, he ends up saying;

“This still beats working at Fischler Industries!”

That, can only tell us what an absolutely terrible employer Fischler was. Considering we don’t see him again I’m wondering if the GDF finally did something about him...

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. We have some... safety overrides to make sure nothing could possibly go wrong.”

And you were saying? Honestly, this show has jinxes everywhere.

Did Miss Edmunds remind anyone else of another familiar face that makes your skin crawl? I’ll leave you a hint.

So, I love this episode. It might partially be because there’s a panda in it - and yes, I work with pandas - but there are other reasons too and I’m sure we’ll get to them.

Firstly let us address the plane struck by ‘lightning’.

“The plane’s gilding but losing altitude. There are four in need of evacuation. Two pilots, one child.”

“That’s only three. Who’s the fourth?”

“Brains, you want to tell them?”

“It’s transporting a rare giant panda in the cargo bay.”

“Ok, four to save, one’s a panda.”

Scott - honestly the way he says that line gets me every time!

“Gordon can go with Virgil and help with the evacuation.”

“Yes! I’ve always wanted to see a giant panda up close!”

“That’s not likely to happen.”

“You’re crushing my dreams, Brains!”

“But it’s in a sealed, environmentally controlled container-”

“La la la la la - I can’t hear you!”

Honestly, weren’t Gordon and EOS made for each other? They could encourage each other to be like children forever.

And so now we’ve got to another of those reasons I mentioned - it’s Gordon’s facial expressions (throughout the whole episode). So, this is officially the world’s most disappointed face.

“They appear to be highly charged plasma bolts.”

Hoorah for that... Just what we need. Well, we’ve never had a rescue like it, that’s for sure.

“Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a pre-sentation?”

“Perhaps you should see what he wants.”

“Oh I’m sure it can wait. The safety commission will shut us down without your approval. So I want to make sure you approve.”

Yeah... definitely a relation to Fischler.

Brains, John already got what they were without you.

"A solar collector.”

Shall we send Thunderbird Three to investigate?”

“We may not have to. Lady Penelope’s already on board.”

“John, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Not sure it’s a pleasure to nearly be torn apart by plasma bolts, but hey.

“Hang on Captain, we’ll get you out of there.”

I think this is a speak too soon moment.

“We’re about to go critical.”

“Does that mean ka-bloom then?”

“ka-bloom”, I love that, it’s very Parker.

“Surely you have a way to reset something like this?”

“I’m a sales director, not an engineer! Did I mention we have three delightful colours to chose from?”

No you didn’t until now, and please don’t mention it again. I think the colour of the episode is set at blue anyway.

This episode really does get off to a dramatic run.

“Thunderbird One’s been hit!”

“Same here! We’re all going down!”

“No one panic! That bolt must have overloaded our circuit breakers. We’ll try rebooting.”

I love how Scott is completely in control here. I mean, it’s believable considering that TOS always made him out to be a honoured pilot. We saw him save Anderbad City with some pretty good flying to in ‘Fight or Flight’. Also, as the eldest we would expect him to have more experience and considering he’s taking over as leader from their dad, you would have expected him to have a pretty level head. This is a complete change however to his reactions in ‘Up from the Depths’ and a little in ‘Heavy Metal’ where he was reliant on others to help him fix his own ship and flight pattern. Either we’re meant to see that he learnt from these events, or that these are anomalies in the writing process.

“Gordon, flip the switch.”

“No problem, just like when your hairdryer blows a fuse at Tracy Island.”

“What? What do you mean my hairdryer!”

Another nice little TOS reference here - in ‘Operation Crash Dive’, Gordon saves Fireflash by treating it like fixing a fuse before he later fixes the TV on Tracy Island, claiming the same.

“Gordon has flight control. Try to keep us in the air!”

“Relax, if more plasma bolts hit, I’ll use your hairdryer trick again.”

“One time. One time that happened!”

Admittance is still admittance, Virgil. I love how Gordon can get things out of people by just being persistently annoying.

Just taking some air, ey, Virgil? Big brother to the rescue. I sense Scott likes doing that.

“Scott... little help!”

“I’m jetting down now. Try not to move.”

“Ready, step!”

“Got it! Thanks for the boost.”

“Any time.”

In fairness, I think this scene is a little piece of genius and it’s another scene that contributes towards my love of this episode. So, here come the reasons;

1. I think it would take an awful lot for Virgil to ask for help, even from his brothers. Even in ‘Skyhook’ and ‘Earthbreaker’ when Thunderbird Two was going down, he didn’t ask for help. He accepted it yes, but he didn’t actually ask for anyone to come and save him.

2. So, accidentally, Virgil ended up in danger of either falling into the ocean, or worse, being hit my a plasma beam. As a result of that, Scott’s comes to his rescue. Now this, puts Scott in danger too, because if either of them took a direct hit there would be bad things. But this isn’t even thought about or discussed, which totally fits in character (especially for these two). The level of reaction here is what matters, and the danger they throw themselves into for each other will be thought about later.

3. The worry and relief. You can tell they have shared worries about this and the dialogue projects this so, so well. In those five lines is everything we need to know about their emotional states.

4. It’s not often these boys have to rescue each other, but when they do (like with Alan&John in ‘EOS’, the instant response seems to be to cover up the fear; “Thanks Alan, I was really sweating there at the end.” “I noticed.” And this dialogue is doing the same thing. The clock is ticking, the situation is precarious and yet what we get is the use of simple words as part of a conversation meaning something completely different. The power of words is transformative, and whenever they can be used with double meanings, they carry so much more strength. People in real life often never say things as they mean. It’s like with death - we don’t often use the word in conversation, we’ll refer to it as something else, and this is exactly what the Tracy boys do - they face danger head on, and they skirt around the less nice possibilities, whilst knowing what they are potentially confronting the whole time, just without saying it. Because we all know once things are said, they are hard to take back.

5. Childlike brotherhood. The nature of this scenes very much takes me back to imagining a younger Scott and Virgil helping each other out with the simplest of things like learning to ride a bike. There’s a very clear, well-built, brotherly relationship shown in this scene, and that comes across so well, in the dialogue that could refer to nearly any other situation, than hanging for your life from a doomed plane only miles above the ocean with plasma bolts trying to hit you.

So, who was the mastermind behind this excellent scene? Elly Brewer is mainly known for writing episodes for the Tracy Beaker series’, which is a completely different kettle of fish to something like Thunderbirds Are Go. She wrote ‘Lost Kingdom’ which was another fantastic episode, and this is (unfortunately) the only other script she wrote for this series. I think this is an absolute shame as her handle on the brother’s was perfect, and her use of dialogue was perfectly balanced out to disguise/contain other feelings whilst commenting on the action. A someone who also has ambitions to be a writer, she is a real example of how to write character interaction. I believed every inch of this script - not only for this scene, but for every scene and every character - and okay, the acting brought it to life, but a good script often allows for good acting, so they come as a pair most of the time.

I’ve already mentioned above my feelings regarding Scott in this episode (who is portrayed again, as a really strong pilot, just like how Dan Berlinka wrote him in ‘Fight or Flight’.) I’m not trying to slate or show anyone up here, but I feel like compared to Ben Townsend, Brewer and Berlinka had a much better handle on the character of Scott Tracy. Don’t mistake me here, Townsend has written some amazing scripts for Thunderbirds Are Go - ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Up from the Depths’, ‘Brains Vs. Brawn’ (and more I won’t list them all) - but interestingly two of the above I’ve mentioned, are also the two episodes where I felt the discrepancies with Scott’s skills as a pilot creeping in. I love both episodes for their content and some perfect moments, but it definitely feels like Townsend is uncomfortable or at conflict writing for Scott (in places, because he did give us some amazing moments like Scott&Ned, but I think there are definitely points where I question his decisions, especially against strong episodes like this and ‘Fight or Flight’ which put Scott very much in the driving seat). ‘Inferno’ -which I think is one of the best scripts written for this series, with it’s realism and excellent interactions - is also one of Townsend’s works for this series and (apart from maybe ‘Up from the Depths’) is what I consider to be his best work. It is interesting that Scott does not appear here though.

Remember that this is all only my opinion, and as always, I’m more than happy for you to disagree with me. That’s the whole point of discussions, and please feel free to discuss it (I will reply, although it might be at some point later in the week). Dropping it to my ask box may be easier than in the comments if you do with to have a full length discussion.

“Virgil, we’re almost at the water!”

“Release the plane and pull out. Repeat, pull out!”

Some of that quick thinking made towards an awesome rescue. I mean, the plane went down, but really who cares about that? There was nothing in it, and a plane can be rebuilt.

“Sorry Brains.”

“For what?”

“It’s time for you to go.”

Lady Penelope has way better aim than I do!

“Careful Parker, the walls are burning up!”

“You don’t ‘ave to tell me twice. hOh boy, hit’s ‘ot hin ‘ere. Blast! Missed.”

“Go on, Parker! I’ve got you!”

“Much hobliged, M’Lady.”

Parker is just a grade one badass. Look at him go! And Parker and Lady Penelope are an absolute perfect duo. Their teamwork is always spot on and their relationship is brilliantly explored in scenes like this. Lady Penelope has always been a considerate character, but high society (in the past at least) have always been assumed to have had a lack of care for those below them (I’m sure there were those who did, but history just records the majority). Lady Penelope has such care for Parker - probably as much as he has for her - and scenes like this are perfect for showing exactly what makes their partnership work. It’s very give and take, even when it seemed like Parker is just driving her around. She’s always got his back and it was lovely to have another scene showing that off.

Still think it’s “a perfect take your daughter to work day”? They definitely picked a day!

“Woah, I’m in Thunderbird Two!”

“The panda’s doing just fine. I heard him munching on bamboo.”

“Aww!”

Look at that thinking face of love and affection.

“Thank you for saving him.”

“You’re welcome. We love having satisfied customers.”

“Yeah, furry or otherwise.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Oh...”

“Thank you.”

“Can I go see Mr Panda now?”

“I think he’ll like you.”

“Really?!”

And this is the world’s happiest face! Gordon has achieved his dream. Having seen pandas myself, I can completely understand why it was a dream of his. Also, the Gordon and Virgil interaction (in this whole episode, but especially here where words aren’t even needed) is just absolute perfection!

And now to tie up some loose ends;

“I may lose my job over this, but I am not gonna lose my life!”

I think you might have lost that anyway. I mean, I think the GDF are gonna be putting her on trial for this.

“Oh now, isn’t that sweet! I didn’t expect a welcome back committee!”

“She realises that we’re arresting her, doesn’t she?”

“I don’t know.”

Don’t worry mate, I don’t think any of us would really know how to deal with her. She’s positively crazy.

See what I did there? Her annoying talking has rubbed off on me!

[darkblueboxs]

Thoughts on Aaron and Matt’s relationship as the become roommates and definitely after the extra content on Aaron and Matt’s mom.

Couldn’t track down said extra content but their post-canon roomsharing is tragically unexplored so here we go

*

Moving out of the monster’s dorm is Aaron’s first cold, sharp lungful of freedom after years of having his head held underwater. Freedom, it transpires, tastes like gummy bears and leftover pizza and whatever other crap Matt likes to clog his arteries with. Aaron elects to ignore the smell; the important part is the long-awaited independence. If only he could ignore his new roommate so easily.

Aaron hasn’t been there five minutes before Katelyn is cheering on the other end of his phone, and ten minutes later she’s helping him unpack his books and arrange his desk the way he likes it. The prospect of being able to come over to Aaron’s dorm whenever she likes without fear of being sliced open by his psychotic twin is clearly an enticing one for Katelyn. Regular access to a bedroom shared with only one other student is equally appealing, for obvious reasons.

They don’t waste much time on that front; Katelyn hops up on Aaron’s desk and pulls him in, first with her eyes and then with her arms, and Aaron is happy to follow. Finally, finally, finally, he is allowed to have something good in his life.

The key part now is to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up.

Aaron is interrupted from nervously fidgeting his way towards the clasp on Katelyn’s bra by the sound of Matt walking into the locked door with a thud. Aaron swears and pats his hair back down into its usual shape while Katelyn buttons up her blouse with a sheepish smile.

He stumbles over and unhooks the latch before Matt can start complaining. Judging by the blinding grin he’s met with, Matt hasn’t been fooled. “Settling in okay?”

“Great,” Aaron grunts. Katelyn smiles at Matt, and Aaron fights down a flare of jealousy. Katelyn can smile at whoever she wants to, and Aaron refuses to become an angry, possessive psycho like his brother.

“I’ll leave you guys to get to know each other. Well, you already know each other, but, you know.” Katelyn stoops to press a kiss to Aaron’s cheek, which goes some way to soothing the sting of her departure. “Catch you later, babe.”

“Yeah,” says Aaron faintly, hating how fucking pleased Boyd looks at the display. His new roommate needs to learn a serious lesson in minding his own damn business.

Aaron spent his first years at Palmetto steadfastly ignoring every team member outside his family, and despite the Foxes’ newfound unity, he still has little interest in building bridges. Too much effort, far too late. For their first weeks sharing the apartment, Aaron avoids Matt, keeping his head in his books and spending his nights in Katelyn’s dorm.

Eventually Katelyn broaches the topic, not because she wants to spend more time in Aaron’s dorm and less time inconveniencing her roommate, but because that’s the kind of person Katelyn is. She believes in people, believes in Aaron. So much so that she makes him want to believe in himself. She suggests – not in a preachy or demanding way, but kindly – that he might find his living situation a lot more bearable if he made at least some effort with his roommate.

And because it’s Katelyn, who Aaron will never be good at saying no to, Aaron throws Matt a bone.

“We’re going to Columbia tonight. Dress nice,” Aaron says without slowing on his way to his bedroom.

“Oh. Oh, cool, who else is coming?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Aaron shuts the door behind him. It’s the thought that counts, not the delivery.

Aaron means to make an effort when the night comes, but soon he’s floating on a cloud of alcohol and cracker dust, and it’s hard to concentrate on things like bonding and conversation when Eden’s bassline is calling him. Matt spends most of his time on the dancefloor with Dan and Renee, and the night passes in a hazy, unremarkable way.

The next day, Matt won’t look him in the eye. Aaron casts his mind back for something particularly embarrassing he did the night before and draws a blank. It’s only when he sees the nervous way Matt rakes his fingernails over track marks dotting his inner arms that Aaron realises they have a real problem on their hands. The gesture is uncomfortably familiar, and not just because Aaron has seen Matt doing it before.

Aaron drops his PlayStation controller to the floor with a deliberate thud. “What,” he says, barely a question.

Matt lets out a huff of air. “I didn’t realise… I didn’t know you still used.”

“It’s dust, it’s nothing,” says Aaron dismissively. “Why do you care?”

Matt slumps into the beanbag beside him, clenching and unclenching his fists. It takes Aaron a beat to realise that he’s angry. “Everything your brother did to me during your first year,” he says, “was to make sure you stayed clean. And you’re not. I started caring when you made it my business.”

“Not my problem,” says Aaron. It comes out harsher than he means it to. “If you don’t like it, you can go running to Flamer Paradise next door, see what they have to say.”

Matt’s jaw clenches. “Really? Flamer? Are you still hung up on this?”

“I don’t give a shit. Take a page from my book and fuck off.”

Matt climbs back to his feet, his face like thunder. “You’re going to make a shitty doctor, you know?”

Aaron is on his feet in an instant, barely reaching Matt’s chest. “Fuck you. Cracker dust isn’t even dangerous, it just-”

“Not because of the dust.” Matt steps forward, and it takes everything Aaron has not to flinch. “Because you don’t give a shit. About yourself or anyone else, and god help any gay patients who might have to rely on you to help them. Have some goddamn self-respect.” His piece said, Matt stalks from the room before the argument can descend into a fistfight.

Aaron stands alone in the living room with his fists clenched for longer than he can count, wishing he had someone’s face on hand to put his fist through.

Katelyn is, as always, his reprieve. She listens to his venting sympathetically and without judgement, even though Aaron suspects that she may privately disagree with him. Aaron can respect that; it’s the support that she shows him regardless that leads him down from the cliff-edge of his anger. And, if Aaron is being completely, brutally honest with himself, Matt might have had a point or two.

It takes him some time to be ready to return to his dorm, and even longer before he’s ready to look Matt in the eye again.

“I’m sorry,” says Matt after one day too many of awkward silence. Aaron pauses his game, trying to arrange his features to hide his surprise; when his mother lost her temper, she would spend days clattering around the house in silent fury while refusing to acknowledge that anything had happened. Matt’s direct approach is unsettling, and it takes Aaron a moment to accept it for what it is – an olive branch. “Look, we have our differences. That’s obvious. I know you don’t want to be here. But this year the team came together in a way I could never have imagined. Maybe we can too?”

Aaron stares for a long moment. Finally, he nudges the second PlayStation controller in Matt’s direction. “This game works better as a multiplayer, so…”

Matt drops into the beanbag beside him, relief washing over his features. Aaron waits until the game has loaded to add under his breath, “I never said I didn’t want to be here.”

Matt lowers the controller to look at him. “You never spend much time here. I just figured…”

“No. It’s fine.” Aaron clears his throat. He sees Katelyn in his mind’s eye, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at him. He has to do better. “You’re fine.”

Matt snorts, and his attention slides back to the TV screen as the game begins.

“Anyone’s better than Nicky,” Aaron adds.

Matt snorts and kicks at his leg.

Maybe it isn’t too late to build that bridge after all.

*

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! I was not planning on writing an *actual* fic for this but there was too much unresolved tension between these two worth exploring.

Side note: I’ve read so much fanfic I no longer remember if the monsters gave up cracker dust in canon or if that was something I read in a fic. My canon now, fuckers.

[newagesispage]

                                                              FEBRUARY             2021

 PAGE RIB

 The contents of someone’s bookcase are part of their history, like an ancestral portrait. –Umberto Eco

*****

The world is about to change with Biden and Harris in office. It is great to have Harris in there. More women in power is so important. Women don’t think with their dicks. I mean, a pussy likes to fuck just as much but we can also get some work done. Men are rarely as good at multitasking.  The inauguration went off with high security after the Trump insurrection. 5 were killed as the traitors stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 but Biden still became the President on the 20th. Hooray for Pastor Raphael Warnock and Jon Osoff in Georgia for taking the Senate. We are off to an interesting start with Merrick Garland nominated for AG.** Janet Yellen is the 78th US Treasury secretary and the first woman!**John Kerry is the envoy for climate and Pete Buttigieg is up for secretary of transportation. ** Biden reversed the ban on transgender troops, stopped the Muslim ban and signed many other executive orders.

*****

Kudos to Bill Maher for giving out  his Baldy award and talking about Henry Waxman. And I was glad to see Waxman mention it and the many others who do the hard work, the real work of running this country.

*****

Elon Musk is now the world’s richest person.

*****

Did ya see the Wendy Williams night on Lifetime?  I have known friends and family with her behavior, this complete lack of self- confidence and yet completely self -absorbed. Yes, she was married to a jack ass and she can be entertaining but whew.. high drama.  I learned one thing.. Her Father and brother are HOT!!

*****

Neil Young sold stake in 50% of his song catalogue to Hipgnosis songs fund in Britain.

*****

John Mulaney is in rehab.

*****

The Little things with Jared Leto, Denzel and Rami Malek was tops at the Box Office.

*****

Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles?? Ooh la la!! What a beautiful couple!!

*****

Thank you Cleveland Browns for all the hope!!** And..C’mon Packers.. U should have won that!!** Seahawk Chad Wheeler was arrested for domestic abuse.

*****

Think before you speak, read before you think. –Fran Leibowitz

*****

The Zodiac killer cipher was solved by amateur codebreakers David Orandak in Virginia, Jarl Van Eycke in Belgium and Sam Blake in Australia more than 50 years later.

*****

Rebel with Katey Sagal looks pretty good.

*****

Richard Lewis will not be in season 11 of Curb due to his many surgeries. Miss ya Richard!!

*****

Elliot Page has filed for divorce from Emma Portner.

*****

In the ‘some things never go away’ category, there are new shows coming of V.C. Andrews and the Great Gatsby.

*****

Dylan McDermott is joining Christopher Meloni in Law and Order: Organized Crime.

*****

Cigarette sales are up.

*****

Crayola is recycling old markers at colorcycle. Never throw away markers again! Less Waste!

*****

Days alert: The big reveal FINALLY came on Days about Gwen from Peoria. She thinks she is Jack’s daughter! It looks like the DNA will prove it. The plot will thicken as Laura returns with a secret and bad things happen to her. Susan Banks is also back and gets in the middle of a couple of stories. I am always glad to see Ivan but unfortunately Vivian is close behind. The twins story should come to a head. Please don’t push Rafe and Nicole together!! Word is that Patch and Kayla will remarry on their old anniversary of Valentine’s Day!! Best of all, Ciara is back and has thoughts of Romeo and Juliet. Find her Ben, before you get close to Claire.

*****

Tom Brokaw has retired from NBC after 55 years. I remember when he retired from the news desk way back when.

*****

Ex- Chester county Sheriff Carolyn Welsh has been charged with stealing from a K-9 unit charity.

*****

Succession has added Sanaa Latham, Jihae and Linda Edmond.

*****

People are filling in for Robert Costa on Washington Week while he is off with Bob Woodward writing their book.  Yamiche Alcindor was a great host!!!!

*****

Some last headlines and thoughts and facts about the end of the worst Presidency in our history. Let’s hope this is the last of the news about the Traitor in chief except for paying for his crimes. Unity does not mean there are no consequences for criminals. Make no mistake Trump and some of his followers are criminals. **Here are a few things I ran across: Vanilla Ice played Mar A Lago for NY Eve.** After the riot many rats started to jump ship like Elaine Chao, Hope Hicks and Betsy Devos. The American Federation of Teachers reaction to Betsy Devos resignation: “Good Riddance.”** Mo Brooks had told the crowd, “Take names and kick ass.” Plans for a Sen. Hawley book were scrapped.** Adam Kinzinger of Illinois was one of the first to call for the 25th amendment that never happened.** People are trying to get to the bottom of the Riot with questions like, “Who paid for the buses?” ** These types of people are the reason we can’t have nice things. **  Scary Clown is off Twitter for good. Funny how it took Senators, companies and voters so long, 2 weeks before he leaves office to make him a pariah. Trump was too dangerous for twitter but not for the nuclear codes?? ** To anyone complaining about a private media co. kicking Trump off their platform: Think of twitter as a Christian bakery and Trump as a wedding cake. _William Cusack**The riot proved that blue lives really don’t matter to them.** U.S. rep for Colorado Lauren Boebert was given $70,500 by Ted Cruz just as he asked for a probe into Netflix. Her husband, Jayson was arrested for exposing himself to a minor and for domestic abuse.** Trump was impeached again.** “Republican colleagues broke down in tears saying that Republicans are afraid for their lives if they vote for this impeachment.- Congressman Jason Crow.** Mike Pompeo cancelled his European trip after Luxemburg’s foreign minister and top European union officials declined to meet him.**232 was the number of votes to impeach him and the number of electoral vote in his loss to Biden.**Trump’s interior secretary had his own flag** Trumps EPA guy made super- secret phone calls in his own phone booth and had 24 hour security.** Toby Keith and Ricky Scaggs received the National medal of arts. ** The Supreme Court tossed out a lawsuit claiming that Trump violated the emoluments clause. ** Dominion voting systems sued Rudy.** Trumps impeachment lawyers, Butch Bowers and Deb Barbier quit. Word is that they refused to say the election was stolen. The new team seems to include Bruce Castor who would not prosecute Bill Cosby and Epstein’s would be lawyer David Schoen. That sounds about right.

*****

Hey Manson didn’t stab anyone. Incitement is a real crime. –Michael Mckean.

*****

ABC News President James Goldston has resigned.

*****

Everyone is talking about the SNL Krasinski/Davidson kiss.

*****

The NRA is bankrupt.

*****

Lenny Kravitz paid tribute to his Godmother, Cicely Tyson.

*****

Colbert could take a tip from Larry King. Ask simple direct questions and let the interviewee talk. We are watching to hear what they have to say. The beginning of the show is the host’s moment so shut up later!!

*****

R.I.P. Dan Dettman, Floyd Little, Pierre Cardin, Phyllis Mcguire, George Gerdes, Joan Micklin Silver, Carl Panzram, Gerry Marsden, Tanya Roberts, Kerry Vincent, KT Oslin, Tommy Lasorda, Michael Apted, Dave Creek, Jamie O’Hara, Dr. H. Jack Geiger, William Link, Neil Shehan, Joanne Rogers, Duke Bootee, Phil Spector, Don Sutton, Siegfried, Sheldon Adelson, Larry King, Ved Mehta, Bruce Kirby, Cicely Tyson and Cloris Leachman.

[the-demi-jedi]

Hello there! I want to share a story I’ve written for a local short story contest. The topic was “The Last Day on Earth”. I’d love to have some feedback from y’all, so if you could spare twenty minutes, it would be great!

Title: The Last Day Word count: 4200 (appx. six pages) Genre: Thriller, romance, mystery Trigger warning: None that I know of. If you notice something, please let me know! Summary: Dan’s life seems to be perfect with his loving wife, well-paid job and a peaceful home. However, his ideal world has been upset by a message from an unknown sender. Who is the person who seems to be threatening him? And is Dan himself the person he believes he is?

The story is a translation from Czech to English, some errors are possible probable :)

Continue reading below!

I know that not many people say this, but I really love my life.

It's already getting dark outside and I finally see my home in the distance. With a smile on my lips, I start to stride towards it faster than I already do. Today was one of the days where I had to visit my workplace personally, as I usually work from home. The genetic lottery rewarded me with a talent for learning languages, including those used for programming, so I make my living as a translator and a programmer. Since I work in two fields, I always have a commission to work on and I can't complain about money - it's enough for me to live comfortably and to the fullest.

I open the wicket in our fence and walk through the garden, beautiful and manicured thanks to my wife's almost motherly care. I approach the main door. As always, I'm greeted by a wooden plate with Dan & Anna engraved on it - it is also a result of my spouse's creative outburst. I know she feels the happiest when she has an opportunity to create something.

I unlock the door and walk in. As soon as I hang my coat on the hanger, Anna is already rushing towards me, standing on the tips of her toes and greeting me with a gentle kiss.

At first glance, Anna is a slight, a bit plain girl. Her dark hair, contrasting with her fair skin, reach her waist. Her big, gray eyes are further magnified by the eyeglasses she's wearing. Yes, we are both adults. But every time she smiles at me with her trademark shy smile, I have butterflies in my stomach like an infatuated teenager.

"I missed you," she says, grabs my hand and leads me towards the kitchen, now filled with some exotic smell. Anna's creativity is undeniable even when she's cooking - and she's always overjoyed like a child when I find her meals tasty.

Even now, her face hardly contains excitement when I wolf down her creation. We talk through the rest of the evening. I usually talk about my work, she enthusiastically introduces me to her new project - a new painting in progress, a short story she started writing yesterday... all while wearing a sweater she knitted herself.

Her bright mind just never stops - and that's one of the many reasons I love her so much. I've dated two girls before her, but with Anna, I feel a true connection for the first time. A hopeless romantic would talk about soulmates. And they would be right. Our personalities complete each other, but we have common hobbies and hopes for the future.

Anna is twenty-four. I met her when she was nineteen and I've spent the most beautiful years of my life with her. We traveled around the world before we finally settled in a nice town in Canada. We are planning to get a dog and then, when the time is right, a child.

We watch a movie after dinner. We don't have the usual disputes of a married couple, like "I want an action splatter while she insists on a rom-com" - we always agree on some nice sci-fi or fantastical movie. After the opening music, Anna grabs my hand and moves it on her head. I smile - it's our own little game. I hold her close to me and start to stroke her hair. Soon, she starts to purr like a content kitten.

As I walk towards the bedroom after the movie ends, I check the calendar on my phone. By presenting and submitting it to the client, I have finished a project I've been working on for a long time - good thing the client paid me accordingly. Satisfied with a job well done, I cross the project off my schedule.

The deadline for my next project, a dull translation of legal documents in Korean, is in three months, so I can feel free to forget about it for a few days. Maybe I could take Anna somewhere tomorrow, perhaps for a dinner out.

Or maybe I could forget about the work for a week and take her for a trip to the mountains. A few days in a cozy, romantic cabin? Why not. I could always catch up with the commission later.

"You're up to something, right?" Anna, dressed in a nightgown, smiles at me with her eyebrows raised. "I know that thoughtful face very well!"

"Maybe I am, maybe I am not," I reply.

"Tell me!" she squeals and attacks me with the full force of her one hundred and fifty-five centimeters. She knocks me down on the bed and we both burst into laughter. Despite the torture techniques she uses on me (tickling, for example), I don't break. It will be a surprise.

An hour and half later, I fall asleep; Anna's quiet breath creates a pleasant ambiance. I'm looking forward to the upcoming days. No work; no Korean symbols and no Cyrillic to translate. Just me and my beloved.

I really do love my life.

 ...

When I wake up the next day, Anna is already in the kitchen, conjuring up the breakfast. She has always been an early bird. I hear her soft, high-pitched voice singing as she cooks. She's far from a perfect singer, but to me, she sounds like a perfect symphony.

When walking into the bathroom, I can't avoid looking in the mirror. I always wonder how did I manage to charm her so much she was willing to marry me even though I look like a typical computer nerd: skinny, not too tall, with a goatee and a hipster-style haircut. The people mostly guess I'm that kind of bachelor who dwells in his man-cave situated in my mother's basement.

Well, it's not that Anna and I don't have a gaming cave. When she's gaming and going through a tough part, she can be really noisy and only pieces of chocolate placed into her mouth can stop the foul words she sometimes uses. I am that type of calm, level-headed gamer.

Before I set the course towards the kitchen and my wife, I check my phone. My lockscreen wallpaper is, of course, my photo with Anna. The picture was taken at the ComicCon - I'm wearing a costume of Lord Revan and she's my Bastila Shan. I didn't have to push her into that. In fact, the costumes were her idea.

A notification is covering a part of the photo: 1 new message.

I roll my eyes. If it is a new client, I can forget about the trip to the mountains right away.

My annoyed face changes to surprised once I notice the sender's ID is set as Private number. And then, after reading the message, I feel only fear and confusion.

This is your last day. Prepare for the departure.

What the hell is this supposed to mean?

The timestamp tells me the message came at three in the morning.

Is this a threat? Am I the next victim of a serial killer with a wicked sense of humor? I stop and think. I have no enemies, if I don't count Anna's parents - it's no surprise they imagined their daughter's future spouse as a banker or a successful entrepreneur. However, after they found out I can take good care of their girl, they warmed up a little.

I hyperventilate. I read those two damned sentences over and over again.

"Dan! The pancakes la Francé are done!" I hear Anna chirping in the kitchen.

"Just a minute!" I reply with muffled nervosity in my voice.

Should I tell her about the message? I don't know. We promised each other we won't hide any secrets. But she would go crazy if I told her. She's an alarmist prone to panicking. I can vividly imagine her screaming into the phone while calling the police, hugging me and hysterically wailing about not wanting to lose me.

Maybe I should involve the police. It's not a direct threat, but how else can I interpret it? Wait. Maybe I've just forgotten a commission and the client is reminding me. However, it wouldn't explain the "departure". Moreover, I meticulously note every new commission I receive. Anna, who is a chaotic, often mocks me for being too organized to the point my schedule is crafted minute-by-minute.

Well, I can't solve it here and now. I sigh and go to Anna.

Naturally, I have lost my appetite, so I have to endure the pain in Anna's eyes when I just nibble at the food.

"You don't like it?" she peeps. "I tried so hard..."

Yeah, do it. Make my situation even harder. "It's delicious," I assure her. I try to come up with something that could excuse me acting strange for the next twenty-four hours. "It's just... one of my clients who often employs me has problems with his business and it's likely he'll go bankrupt. I'd lose a part of the money I make and we'd have to tighten our belts until I find someone else."

She examines me with her eyes. She can tell when I'm making things up. Then she decides to just smile at me. Perhaps she decided to trust me - or decided she doesn't want to know the truth for now.

"Come on, Dan, you know it's not about money," she says. "We have some savings and after all... the best things are free," she winks at me.

I return her the smile and swallow the rest of the pancakes.

 ...

I spend the rest of the afternoon thinking. It's not as easy as usual. Anna just flutters around me like a hummingbird and constantly asks me to do something with her. I'm just a step away from snapping at her, but I've never raised my voice at her before and I'm determined not to start now.

In the end, I decide it would be the best to stick to the plan I came up with yesterday.

I lock myself in my workroom and scour the internet for two hours or so, looking for cabins in the mountains I could rent. I smile. Someone's going after me? I'll simply run away. And if I can turn the escape into a vacation with Anna, the better.

The offers repeatedly let me know that I should have booked something sooner. As I start to get frustrated, an offer peeks at me - it's a cozy, well-furnished cabin about a hundred kilometers away from here. The couple who had it booked canceled at the last minute.

I immediately book the cabin and make the payment. Then I leave the workroom. I find Anna in the living room, with a drawing tablet in her hand. I put on a big smile and tell her the news.

As I have expected, joyful squealing and hugging follows. "Adventure!" Anna cheers as she sprints up the stairs into the bedroom where she packs her things. She's clapping her hands like a little girl.

I also pack my stuff; unlike Anna, I only take what I find necessary. It's fascinating how different, yet the same we are. I'm so happy to have her. I have to survive the night so I can be here for her throughout the upcoming days, months, years.

As soon as we finish packing, I cram our luggage (as I've expected, Anna has packed about three times as much as I did) into the trunk of our Mercedes and then we hit the road.

The car radio is playing and Anna joyfully sings along every song she knows. Despite her questionable qualities as a singer, she cheers me up and I allow myself to get carried away. As Anna, Jon and I scream the lyrics of an evergreen Bon Jovi song at the top of our lungs, I even forget about the anonymous message.

I guess it's some kind of mistake after all. The message was intended for someone else. I amuse myself by imagining some low-ranking gangster having trouble with his Don, trying to blame his failure on a message that wasn't delivered. Finally, I feel like myself again.

 ...

Snow comes with rising altitude. When we finally reach the place where the cabin is supposed to be, all the trees around us are snow-covered. I see the excitement in Anna's bright eyes. And seeing this is worth all the trouble. I guess I was sent to Earth just to make this girl happy.

We park the car right next to the cabin, grab our luggage and step inside. I have to admit it really is cozy. The furniture smells of wood. There is a huge fireplace; Anna immediately lights it up. The warm light and the heat from the fire soon fill the room. For a solid while, we just sit in front of the fireplace, close to each other.

The stress is slowly fading away. I guess I really only needed to unwind a little.

As we settle in the cabin, Anna insists on building snowmen outside. Without hesitation, I join the childish fun. We do funny things with our snowmen, both proper and improper things, and we laugh so hard we can't breathe. We go back inside once Anna's cheeks are red due to freezing temperatures.

When I look at the grandfather clock standing in the corner, the smile freezes on my lips. Five in the afternoon. I have ten hours left.

Oh come on, Dan... you told yourself to let it go. It was a mistake.

Anna prepares a kettle of hot chocolate. Neither of us drinks alcohol and this is a perfect alternative for mulled wine. With Anna around, I don't have to restrain my inner child. Neither does she. We don't have to pretend to be something we're not around each other.

We enjoy the rest of the evening and then hit the bed. A huge window allows us to see outside, where the moonlight glimmers on the snow both on the trees and on the ground.

Anna is huddled close to me, but I'm more and more nervous as the night goes on.

"What's wrong with you?" she asks me suddenly.

"Nothing," I reply.

"Stop lying to me!" I hear traces of anger in her voice, possibly for the first time. "I know how you are when you're okay - and also when you're not okay. And right now, you're nowhere close to the laid-back Dan!"

I look at the clock. Midnight. Three hours left.

With an exasperated sigh, I show her the message.

Anna gasps in shock. "Why... why didn't you tell me sooner?" her voice immediately rises into a panicked falsetto. You should have called the police! Do something! Oh God, Dan... who could have sent this to you?"

"And this is exactly why I decided not to tell you. You'd be a bundle of nerves for the entire day. It's most probably just a mistake or a prank, you know, sending threats to a random number. I'm sure nothing will happen." I kiss her forehead and Anna calms down a little, even though I still hear her muffled sobs.

"I'll stay awake," she whispers. "If someone comes for you... I'll protect you."

I pull the girl closer to me and start to stroke her hair. "I won't allow anyone to hurt you. And in case anything happened to me, I want you to know I love you more than my own life. You know that, right?"

She nods.

 ...

The minutes pass. Two in the morning. Every sound I hear startles me.

Is my last day about to end?

At 2:46, I see a movement behind the window. I shush Anna and listen carefully. It seems someone is lurking around our cabin.

Strangely, I don't feel fear, just an urge to square up with the bastard who ruined my precious moments with Anna. I slip out of the bed, dress into my jacket and boots I left next to the bed, just in case, and grab a fire poker I found by the fireplace.

It won't be much useful if the intruder has a firearm. But it gives both me and Anna at least some sense of security. "Stay close to me," I whisper and hand the girl her coat.

I keep an eye on the part of the forest visible behind the window. Nothing. I have the poker in one hand, the other hand is squeezed by Anna. Then I see it - a flash of blue light, similar to a flashlight. So they are illuminating their way. Fine.

"We have to get to the car," I tell Anna. "Someone has followed us here."

The girl nods and tightens her grip on my hand.

As quiet as possible, I open the door and step outside. The pajama pants don't protect me from the cold much. I look around, trying to spot the intruder's flashlight again. I actually catch one more blue flash, but I'm not sure where did it come from.

"Quickly, quickly!” I mutter through clenched teeth, dragging mortified Anna towards the car. I keep expecting a gunshot that would end my last day on Earth.

The blue light appears again. I press the "unlock" button on my car keys. The red headlights of the Mercedes beam into the night, as if they wanted to battle the blue glow. The gunshots will come now. The author of the message will either try to damage our tires or simply gun me down before I reach the car.

I don't care. As long as Anna is safe.

I open the driver's door and literally throw Anna into the car. I did it. Even if I died now, Anna would make it - she doesn't have a driving license, but she has some knowledge about how to operate a car. She would be able to get away.

"GET IN!" she shrieks as she scrambles to the passenger's seat. Illuminated by the blue light, I try to cram myself into the car. I expect pain. The blood throbs in my ears to the rhythm of Anna's sobs.

I thrust the key into the ignition. The car comes alive. The clock on the dashboard tell me it's 2:58. Two more minutes and I'll survive my last day.

The blue light now engulfs the whole vehicle. I look around, trying to figure out where is it coming from. To my shock, I realize the light source has to be above the car. The position of shadows clearly points to that.

"Dan... what is it? What is it?!” Anna screams. “For God's sake, GO!”

I try. However... I feel something strange is happening to me. As if the connection between my body and my mind was fading away. I am trying to rev up the car, but at the same time, I feel like someone else is doing it. Thoughts fill my head - thoughts that are seemingly not mine. Bizarre images and memories.

Only one thing still binds me to this reality. Anna's tear-drenched face. She calls my name, but I can't hear it right. She shakes me. Tries to start the car herself.

2:59:56

"I love you," I manage to whisper.

2:59:58

The blue light is separating my body and soul.

3:00:00

"DAN!" Anna's shriek is the last thing I hear before my mind gets sucked into the void.

 ...

I wake up. However, I have no idea where I am. Or who I am.

The memories of Anna mix up with brand new perceptions. A room full of computer screens and holographic projections that seem so alien and unreal, but eerily familiar at the same time.

"Inhale, exhale, my friend," I hear a voice behind me. They're speaking a language I shouldn't be even able to pronounce - yet I still understand it perfectly. "You've done a good job."

"I've done a job...?" I mutter in that strange language.

My vision is becoming clearer. I'm sitting on some weird chair. Then, the speaker shows himself. I flinch. He's not human. But wait... neither am I. I'm the same as him. I know him. We're friends.

Slowly, the memories of what I've done start coming back to me.

The friend removes a faintly glowing, crystalline helmet from my head and offers me his hand. I accept it, leave the chair and make a few steps. The computer lab now makes more sense to me. I know how to operate it. However, a part of my mind is still with Anna.

"Take your time," the friend smiles after he notices my confused expression. "Living as a human for thirty-two years, from birth to adulthood... that must be pretty demanding, right?"

"You have no idea," I say. Thirty-two years. A few minutes ago, it would seem like a long time to me. Now I perceive it as a moment, an insignificant stretch of time. I remember how it's like to measure time in millennia and eons.

Despite that, those insignificant thirty-two years changed something in me.

I shuffle towards a window. I am high above the ground. It's dark, it must be the nighttime. I see a city below me - strange, surreal buildings illuminated by sterile, bluish light. When I look up at the sky, I see glowing, shattered pieces of space objects and iridescent clouds of a nearby nebula.

Finally, I see my enclave again. Even though I was gone just for a spell, it seems like an eternity to me.

I catch myself still thinking in the human language. I try to find a word describing what am I, but it's not as easy, considering the humans' limited vocabulary.

An alien? No, that's not it. I guess the term interdimensional being is the closest to the truth. We have almost nothing in common with humans, and yet, we're almost the same.

The friend approaches one of the computers. "You have done well. So much data in just thirty-two years. Now we know enough about their world to finally commence the harvest."

The last missing pieces of my memory hit the right spots.

The harvest.

Anna.

"No, you can't do that!" I shove the friend away from the computer. "Stop the harvest! Please! Anna is there... I can't just leave her there! Stop it!”

The friend laughs and lays his hand on my shoulder. "And here we go - the post-extraction hysteria. Sooner or later, it affects all the Pathfinders. Just keep calm. You'll be alright. However, you had to be pretty hard-wired in that world since the message we transmit a day before extraction didn't make you remember who you are."

A Pathfinder. Yes, this is what I am. An individual whose mind is implanted into a being from a different world to live a life of the said being, gathering as much information about their world as possible throughout a single lifetime. The data are then analyzed to prepare an optimal strategy of the harvest. At the same time, the mind of the Pathfinder is returned into their original body through a dimensional rift.

Blue light...

"You can't do that," I feebly try one more time. "Stop it."

"The humans are low on the stairs of evolution," the friend tries to calm me down. "They live for seventy, eighty years. Just a blink of an eye. And if we commence the harvest, our world will be able to sustain for several more centuries." He shrugs. "I know that we're the ones responsible for this and now we have to sacrifice other worlds to save ours. But it is how it is. The strong prey on the weak."

I stare out of the window, watching the harvesting machines getting prepared on a vast plain nearby. Giant, nightmarish machines. Ozone layer siphons. Water pumps. Solar panels. Oxygen extractors. And more. There seems to be an infinite number of them.

I know what happens when they fulfill their purpose. The world that witnesses their rampage is fated to die. It becomes a lifeless wasteland just for the sake of making our world survive for a few more centuries.

I clench my fists. Even though the human life is already fading away from my memory, one thing still lingers there - Anna. What is she doing now. I can do nothing to save her. In a moment, the machines will enter her world through a dimensional rift and steal everything life-giving.

Anna knows nothing. Maybe it's better that way. Right now, she's probably mourning Dan's apparent death. She will soon realize how petty this problem is.

Yes, humans are primitive. They only live for seventy years, they only have five basic senses and they didn't advance much as a species. But I still can't stop thinking about the hidden gems of the humankind. I've spent just a few years with her, but still, I won't forget her.

Maybe in a few eons.

The blue light of a dimensional rift starts to glow above the harvest machines. It will take roughly a day until it's stable enough to allow transport.

One day.

I think about how is Anna, and the rest of the humankind, going to spend the last day on Earth.

...

The end!

If you liked the story, you can comment, share or >donate< if you have some spare change ^^ If you didn’t, feel free to come to my ask box and ask me to never write again... too bad, because I will anyway :)

[red-writing-on-asylum-walls]

Like Everyone Who Was Dragged There First

I picked at this and picked at it and picked at it and I’m kind of really done with it. I’m not happy with the ending but. It’s here. 

Warnings: Aaron Pierly, torture, implied past torture, implied child abuse, child endangerment, child torture, strangulation, implied force feeding, bondage, beatings, stabbing, blood, violence, language

---------

“Hello Jake. Long time, no see.”

The bowl slipped out Jake’s numb fingers and crashed to the floor, spilling popcorn all over the carpet. His chest was constricted into a vice, his breath catching in his lungs, a cold sweat breaking out across his clammy skin.

Aaron was sitting casually on the couch next to Milo, a backpack on the floor between his feet and an all too familiar smirk on his face.

Jake’s brain went into overdrive, thoughts tumbling over one another as Milo stared at him in confusion. Dan wasn’t home. His cellphone was upstairs and out of reach. Aaron was sitting too close to Milo. Dan wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for hours. Dan wasn’t home and they were all in very real danger.

“Aaron.” His voice was a tight and strangled sound that squeezed out of his throat with a reluctant breath of stale air.

“Dad?” Said Milo and Aaron’s eyes flickered with something unintelligible but no less wicked.

“Aw, Jake, how could you be so cruel? Why didn’t you tell your own brother that you had a son?” Aaron’s voice was teasing, almost friendly, but that look in his eyes said something else entirely and it made Jake’s stomach turn.

“I have an uncle?” Milo perked up excitedly and Jake wanted to scream and pull him away from that monster on the couch.

“You didn’t even tell your kid about me? Ouch, big brother, that hurts.” The word was acid as Aaron hissed it out from between his teeth. His arm coiled around Milo’s shoulder, a python crushing prey, his fingers curling into the soft fabric of that shark hoodie, “How about we talk in the kitchen. Make another bowl of popcorn. See what kind of show gets put on.”

It was not a suggestion and Aaron was too close, too close, too close. He pulled Milo off the couch and Jake had to follow him. Dan wasn’t here. Jake had to protect Milo, no matter the cost. So he followed and tried to keep the fear off his face, just for Milo’s sake, tried not to wince as Aaron pressed his hand into Milo’s shoulder and forced him to sit down in a kitchen chair. Jake remained standing, reminding himself to breathe, his palms sweating. Aaron was humming as he lifted the backpack up and set it on the table.

“I brought some of our old toys that we used to play with!” The devil in his brother’s skin said cheerily. The zipper sounded like crackling bones in the heavy quiet of the house, “Remember this stuff?” Aaron turned the bag over and dumped its contents onto the table.

A scream swelled in Jake’s throat and then wouldn’t come out. He forgot how to breathe, choking on panic as he tripped backwards and bumped into the wall. The world was muffled, drowned by a roaring in his ears and the thudding of his own heart banging against the prison bars of his ribcage. The edges of his vision went dark and fuzzy, static clinging to his mind, old blood on his tongue, long healed aches flaring deep in his bones. All he could see was that pile of stuff on the table, so bright and vivid and full of memories he wished he didn’t have.

“Dad?” Milo’s voice from somewhere far away, miles away and underwater, a thread in the maze of panic, “Jake? Dad? What’s going on? Dad?”

A chair scrape on the tile floor.

A thud.

“You stay in your seat, brat, unless you want to play too.”

“Don’t touch him!” Jake didn’t remember moving but he had put himself between Milo and Aaron at some point, wrenching Aaron’s hand off the boy’s shoulder with a snarl.

Aaron looked far too pleased, “I won’t have to if you play with me, Jake. I’ve missed our time together. It’s no fun without you around.”

“I…” Jake choked again. This was much too close to his brother, much too much of everything.

Aaron grinned, showed his teeth, and, faster than Jake could react, Aaron snatched up his wrist and bent his arm back. Jake cried out, trying to twist away but Aaron just followed the movement, pushing him down until he was bent over the table, one arm behind his back and the other pinned underneath his chest. Jake could feel his own heart flutter against his arm.

“Dad!”

“I said stay in your seat!” Aaron barked. Jake heard Milo thump back into his chair, the squeak of felt pads against the floor, but his head was turned the other way, his wide eyes locked into the pile of Aaron’s toys inches from his nose.

“Now Jake,” Fingers fisted in Jake’s blond hair, yanked his head back to expose the curve of his neck and making him let out a strangled cry. Aaron forced him to look at Milo sitting petrified in his seat, grinding the side of Jake’s face into the tabletop for a moment before he let go,

“We’re going to have a nice little chat, you and I. And your kid is going to sit there and watch while we reminisce and go on a stroll down memory lane. How does that sound?”

“Aaron, p-please…” Jake whimpered as he felt the sleeve of his shirt being forced up, rolled past his elbow and bunched under his arm. Aaron’s fingertips ghosted over old and faded lines, raising goosebumps as they went, until he finally pressed against some of the ropey tissue that had never healed quite right in the crook of his elbow.

“It was right there, wasn’t it?” Aaron purred, sickly sweet, leaning over Jake and crushing him against the table, “Do you remember? It was the knife, right? I wasn’t very good with it at first. Wasn’t good about not leaving marks.”

Jake watched the horror dawning on Milo’s face, wished with all his damaged heart that Milo had never seen this part of his life, would have given anything to be alone in the house when Aaron had found him. Now he had to watch Milo’s innocence shatter while Aaron inevitably did the same to Jake’s fragile grasp on sanity.

Aaron pressed a hand down hard on the back of his neck, “If either of you scream or try to call for help, I’ll break the legs of whoever I catch first. Then I’ll sew your fucking mouth shut.”

Milo’s mouth opened—to protest or curse or spew whatever teenage rebellion was still on fire inside him. Jake caught his eye and pleaded without saying a word, begged him to stay silent. Milo searched his face, then shut his mouth, chewing on his lip as he sank back in the chair. Jake swallowed the sigh of relief that wanted to escape him, felt his neck flex against Aaron’s hand, and prayed that whatever happened, it would only leave Jake with more scars and Milo unblemished.

He was dragged backwards off the table and thrown into a nearby chair, looking up in time to see Aaron uncoiling a faded rope from the pile on the table. He caught Jake’s horrified stare and sneered, snapping it taunt and making Jake flinch.

“Here’s the deal, Jacob,” Aaron growled, walking over to Milo who shrank away from him, “We’re going to play for a while and your kid’s going to watch so he can learn exactly what kind of dumb, disobedient little bitch you are. Then I’m going to pack up my stuff and leave and you’re not going to tell anyone what happened because you know you deserve it.” Aaron wrapped the rope around Milo’s chest and the back of the chair, pinning the teenager’s arms to his sides. His movements were deft and practiced, an efficiency created from repeated use of the skill. Milo flinched as the rope draped against his neck and rubbed against his bare skin, tugging against his windpipe as Aaron tied it off behind him. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, grinning nastily when Milo turned fearful but angry eyes on him,

“Haha, look at that. Still a rebellious little shit, huh? Yeah, Jakey-boy used to fight back too until I figured out this knot. See, the beauty of this is, the more you struggle, the tighter it pulls. So, if you move around and try to wriggle free then…” Aaron reached around behind Milo and he jerked on one of the lines holding Milo to the chair. The rope around Milo’s throat instantly tightened, pressing hard into his neck and cutting his air supply down to the barest wheeze of breath.

Milo’s eyes bulged and Aaron laughed as the teenager bucked in instinctual panic. Of course, it was just like he’d said, the more Milo struggled, the tighter the noose became.

“Aaron stop it! You’re here for me! Let him go! Just stop!” Jake was out of his chair, shoving his brother out of the way as he fumbled with the knots constructing Milo’s bonds. His fingers slipped off of them, confused by Aaron’s complicated work, and he turned his attention instead to the teenager gagging in the chair. He cupped Milo’s face in his shaking hands, hushing him, voice hitching as he tried to help,

“Milo, you need to stop struggling. I—I know it’s hard but you need to just—Milo, listen, listen to me, okay, you need to sit still and don’t move.” He brushed the pads of his thumbs across freckled cheeks, wiping away the tears, smiling thinly as Milo’s breathing came back under control and his struggling ceased, “That’s it, okay, just—just, deep breaths, all right, sweetheart. It’ll be okay. Just don’t move anymore, okay, sweetie? Milo? No matter what you see, no matter what happens, don’t move. I’ll be fine, I promise, just don’t—“

Aaron yanked Jake away by a fistful of his hair, throwing him to the floor with a growl, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jacob. Get back in your fucking chair.”

Jake scrambled across the floor, barely dodging kick Aaron had aimed at him as he crawled back onto the kitchen chair. Aaron followed after him, sneering, and pulled a roll of extension cord off the table, knocking several things to the floor as he did so. Jake couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped out of his mouth as he pressed himself against the back of the chair, desperate to get away but too afraid to run. His chest rose and fell with sharp, panicked breaths that scraped his dry throat, his heart ached as it thudded harder and faster than it had in a long time, and his head spun with an ice cold terror he hadn’t experienced since he was a child.

Aaron towered over him, smoothed his palm over Jake’s cheek in a manner that would have been comforting had it been coming from anyone else, “Shhh, big brother, deep breaths. Wouldn’t want you passing out just yet. We haven’t even gotten started.”

The extension cord wrapped around Jake like an old friend, pinching his skin and alarmingly tight across his chest. Aaron heaved on the cord, yanking Jake’s legs off the floor by his ankles, forcing him to bend his knees so that his heels were almost touching the seat of the chair. It made his thighs shake, muscles spasming uncomfortably tight as Aaron finished his work. It seemed he’d learned some new tricks over the years. Jake shivered to think who he might have used as a practice dummy.

“Let’s have a conversation,” Aaron said in the same tone of voice one would use to discuss the weather. He crossed back to the table and sorted through the objects until he found what he was looking for. When he turned back to face Jake, he was holding a rubber billy club, scraped and with a chunk on one side.

“Did you want to know,” Aaron spun the club in one hand as he approached, his grin twisted with anger, “What the house was like after you left? Do you know what happened when you weren’t around anymore? Do you know how angry mom was?”

Jake cringed back in the chair, pure terror written in every shaking line of his body, “Aaron, n-no, I didn’t mean—I didn’t think she would—you were—she wouldn’t—“

“But she did!” The billy club swung through the air and smashed into the side of Jake’s face, jerking his head violently to the side and splitting open the skin of his temple. Blood bubbled from the head wound and slid freely down his already swelling cheek as he blinked dazedly, trying to refocus. Aaron didn’t let him; he swung again and struck Jake hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of his brother. Jake doubled over with a wet wheeze, drool and blood smearing across his lap as he struggled for breath. Aaron let out a wordless shout of rage and hit Jake again, smashing the billy club into Jake’s shoulder with a loud, crunching pop. Jake thrashed in his chair, his mouth open in a strangled scream of pain, chest heavy, eyes wide, face pale. His shoulder was lumpy and awkward; dislocated.

“Mom was so pissed when you left,” Aaron snarled, looming over his brother as Jake choked on a sob, his breath gasping as he struggled to breathe, struggled to process the pain chewing him up from the inside out, “She was so angry. I’d never seen her so mad. And then you didn’t even the decency to leave us number? Or an address!? So fucking disrespectful, Jacob!” Aaron swung again, punched Jake hard in the stomach with the club. Jake’s cheeks bulged and he coughed, spitting up an acrid mixture of stomach acid and coffee. Aaron dropped the club with a sneer of disgust, back away as Jake choked and gagged,

“Pathetic. She raised us. Put a roof over our heads. Gave us food and clothes. And you spat on that. Ran away and didn’t even tell your baby brother where you were going!”

Jake looked up, tears and snot and blood and bile oozing down his face, dripping with the sweat from his chin, staining his shirt and jeans. His breathing was labored and he trembled every so often, but his eyes were hard and resolute.

He would not be broken this day.

Aaron’s temper flared. He yanked a heavy knife from the pile on the table, slid it from its sheath, and stabbed it into Jake’s thigh in one fluid motion. Jake jerked against the extension cord holding him to the chair, letting out a scream that broke off into a choked gargle of pain. Blood welled around the knife, spilled across Jake’s leg and began pooling on the linoleum floor beneath him. Aaron’s anger twisted with his satisfaction of seeing Jake in agony. He let go of the knife, leaving it in Jake’s leg, and bent over the table to untangle another tool from his collection.

Chest heaving, blood and sick and sweat and tears smeared across his front, Jake looked up through hazy eyes and met Milo’s gaze.

The kid was mortified.

Milo’s eyes were wide, bloodshot whites surrounding watery irises. His face was so pale it made his freckles stand out like bullet wounds, his body shaking against the rope binding him to the chair. His throat was already scraped red from the none too friendly noose around it. Milo had never witnessed brutality like this before, not outside of television where he was fully aware of how fake it was. Jake wanted to apologize but his voice was gone, lost under years of conditioned silence because he knew a single word from him could only make things worse.

Aaron turning towards him again made Jake look away. It killed him to do it but the longer he kept Aaron’s attention, the safer Milo would be.

“Open your mouth.” Aaron hissed.

Jake’s throat clicked as he swallowed dryly, clenching his jaw when he caught sight of the plastic funnel in Aaron’s hand. Holes that had been drilled in the side were looped with rope and the sight of it was enough to make Jake’s stomach turn.

“Open. Your. Mouth.” Aaron’s voice was a stinging growl that made Jake flinch. But, trembling and avoiding his brother’s eye, Jake’s lips parted and he slowly opened his mouth.

Not fast enough for Aaron.

A fist coiled into Jake’s blond hair, yanking his head back and baring his throat. Jake’s mouth shot open with a cry of surprise and pain that was quickly muffled by the foul tasting plastic funnel being wedged into his jaw.

“STOP IT!”

The voice was like a lance that made the room freeze.

Jake held absolutely still, heart pounding painfully hard in his chest, palms sweating, praying that he had only imagined the shout.

Aaron let go of him, shoving his head forward so that the funnel fell out of his mouth with long, sticky ropes of saliva and went spinning across the floor. Jake gagged and swallowed the bitter taste of bile rising in his throat to stare with watering eyes at Milo.

“Stop it!” Milo repeated and Jake wished he wouldn’t, “Stop hurting my dad! He’s not even fighting back so stop it!”

Ice settled in Jake’s chest as Aaron turned to face the shouting teenager. He frantically shook his head behind his brother’s back, trying to tell Milo to just be quiet, to just let this happen because it was inevitable, it had to happen, some law of the universe made it so. Jake would always run, Aaron would always find him, and Jake would always be punished for be the bad son. No one else needed to be involved, no one else needed to be hurt. If Milo would just stay quiet then things would go back to normal, they would be okay, and Jake would eventually walk off the bruises and cuts and Milo wouldn’t have anything to worry about. Jake didn’t care how many scars he had to carry if it meant that Milo would never have to experience any at all.

“I told you to BE. QUIET!” Aaron stomped across the room, grabbing a bent pipe with a broken, jagged tip from the mess on the table and holding it up as he neared Milo.

Milo jerked back, forgetting his predicament and tightening the noose on his own neck. He gagged, eyes bulging, his cries choked by the rope cutting off his air supply, feet scrabbling to try and back away from the man approaching him with a dangerous object. Jake’s fear escalated to a point where it felt like his heart was tearing itself into pieces. And he would let it, he would gladly let his heart explode if it meant sparing Milo.

Years of conditioning wrenched his mind in twenty different directions, making his stomach churn and his eyes burn, his throat closing as struggled to speak. If he said something he could get Aaron’s attention away from Milo. But if he spoke then Aaron would make things worse, he always made things worse if Jake said anything, even if it was just a wordless cry of pain, Aaron wouldn’t stand for it and the only thing it would accomplish would be fueling Aaron’s rage and making him lash out all the harder. Jake swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes shut and forcing his voice out despite the way it made his mouth taste like ash and bile.

But before he could make a sound, someone else spoke up.

“Milo? Were you eating dinner? I tried texting but yo—“

Cody stood frozen in the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open as he processed what he was seeing.

For a long moment, there was silence as everyone stared at each other.

Then Jake forced out, “Cody! RUN!”

Cody bolted and Aaron launched himself after the teenager with a scream of rage.

He took a swipe with the pipe and managed to bash it into the side of Cody’s legs, tangling them and sending them both crashing to the floor. Aaron grabbed onto Cody’s ankle and tried to pull him closer but Cody kicked out with his free leg, the heel of his sneaker smashing into Aaron’s face with a crunch of snapping cartilage. Aaron howled in a combination of rage and pain, letting go of Cody in order to clutch at his face. Cody backed away, fumbling his phone out of his pocket, his fingers shaking on the touch screen as he dialed 911.

“H-hello! Please—there’s a man—he tied up my friend—he—he has a p-pipe—!”

The sound that came out of Aaron’s mouth was one of inhuman fury. His face was smeared in blood from his broken nose, madness glowing in his eyes as he heaved himself off the floor. A red handprint plastered over the white kitchen floor, the pipe scraping like a furious banshee as he dragged it up beside him. Cody screamed, backing up as Aaron advanced on him once again, the pipe raised to deliver another blow.

Dominic pushed Cody aside as he tackled Aaron to the floor with a shout,

“STAY AWAY FROM MY SON!”

The pipe went spinning out of Aaron’s hand as he hit the floor, Dominic on top of him, one hand fisted in Aaron’s shirt front and the other swinging down to punch Aaron in the jaw. Aaron clawed at him, bucking and kicking and snapping his teeth, trying to get the other man off of him. Cody was screaming into the phone, backed up against the wall as he watched his dad fight. Milo was trying to stay still, broken sobs heaving into breathless screams, tears streaking his pale face. Jake could only cry; his words choked by his own terror. Something inside him broke as he watched Dominic struggle with Aaron.

He blinked and there were red-blue-red-blue lights coming from somewhere.

Blinked and a swarm of figures filled the kitchen, voice ricochetting off the walls and making his ears ring.

Blinked and they were hauling Dominic and Aaron apart, cuffing them both even as Cody yelled at them and tried to get to his dad.

Jake blinked and remembered how to breathe just as his heart remembered it should probably go into cardiac arrest.

———

Aaron was sent to prison.

With the sheer amount of evidence against him, there was no alternative outcome.

Jake couldn’t attend the trial, still recovering from the assault and the consequential heart attack. But he watched it progress on the television in his hospital room, an officer at his door and a friendly, supportive nurse at his side.  (He swore he could feel Donna Pierly’s hated glare through the camera.)

Milo had bruises on his neck and chaffing on his limbs from the rope. A cough followed him for several weeks and he occasionally lost his voice. But there was no permanent damage.

Cody walked with a limp for a while, the place where Aaron had struck him with the pipe bruised and swollen and tender. He hovered around Milo and stuck close to his dad, darting between the two and often hesitated before stepping into the kitchen.

But neither of them had lasting scars.

And that was all Jake had wished for.

He could take a stabbing and more heart damage if it meant sparing those two kids from suffering what he himself had been through.

Jake Pierly would sell himself to hell for Milo and Cody to be happy.

[kae-karo]

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

[ayellowbirds]

42 Webcomics Keshet Reads

I was recently reminded that I currently read a lot of webcomics, or have done so in the past. Here’s an incomplete list, linking to the first page where i can (which will usually mean the worst art). Organized thus:  Title, Author. Genre. Format (long-format stories, short-format & single-page stories, or mixed). Description.

The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, by Christopher Hastings. Comedy, Parody, Action. A man from a long line of Irish ninjas has devoted his own life to saving lives as a doctor, disappointing his family. His staff includes a sentient but non-speaking gorilla receptionist, and eventually a boy sidekick who grew a fabulous mustache out of sheer determination. Recurring threats include fast food mascots, ghosts, wizards, ghost wizards, and a disease that turns people into giant lumberjacks. Completed.

BACK, by Anthony Clark and KC Green. Comedy, Adventure, Absurdity, Weird West. Long-Format. A cowgirl comes back from the dead with no memory of who she was or how she died, and is told by a trio of “Cool Witches” that she has to bring about the end of the world—though what exactly that means remains a mystery. Consistently excellent visual storytelling from masters of sequential art; at least one WLW pairing among the characters. 

Bite Me!, by Dylan Meconis. Comedy, Horror, Historic Fiction. Long-Format. A young woman becomes a vampire amidst the chaos of the French Revolution. Featuring immortal angst, a Jewish werewolf, and sacré bleu, the chickens. Completed (website can be slow to load).

Broodhollow, by Kris Straub. Horror, Weird Fiction. Long-Format. By the creator of the original creepypasta that inspired Channel Zero. A young man abounding with neuroses and compulsions comes to a strange little town in order to settle a late relative’s estate. Themes of unreliable memories and differences of perception.

Chainsawsuit, by Kris Straub. Comedy. Short-Format. Three-panel gag comic.

ChaosLife, by A. Stiffler & K. Copeland. Slice of Life, Autobiographical. Mixed-Format. The life of a queer couple and their pets: humor, lgbt issues, mental illness (K. experiences paranoid schizophrenia), cats, and occasional puppets.

Crunchy Bunches, by Scott Warren. Comedy. Mixed-Format. Cereal mascot parody focused on snaggle-toothed feline mascot Munchy and his friends. 

Dead Winter, by Allison Shabet. Action, Horror, Comedy. Long-Format. Zombie apocalypse story with occasional partially-animated scenes, and a relatively low focus on the actual zombies. Infrequent updates, but has a Patreon with weekly content.

DRIVE, by Dave Kellet. Sci-Fi, Comedy. Long-Format. Humanity has taken to the stars, led by a second Spanish Empire that controls the secrets of FTL travel. When the crew of the Machito recover their science advisor and accidentally pick up a mysterious amnesiac alien at the same time, they become embroiled in intrigue that affects the whole of human space and beyond, caught between secret police, mind-controlling invaders, and a species dedicated to invention who have a grudge against humans.

El Goonish Shive, by Dan Shive. Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Superheroics, Slice of Life, Mad Science. Long Format. Difficult to pin down, once described as “the most squeaky-clean fetish comic online”—lots of characters undergoing fantastic transformations of their bodies. Starts out weak but gradually grew into one of the most progressive webcomics out there as the creator started to really think about the meaning of someone wanting to transform from a nerdy boy into a busty girl. I’ve said more about it, here. Significant LGBT content, including canon gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, genderfluid, and asexual characters.

Family Man, by Dylan Meconis. Historic Fiction, Horror, Romance, Libraries. Long-Format. A learned man of Jewish ancestry takes a position as a lecturer at a small Christian university in the middle of nowhere in the Germanies of the 18th century, and falls in love with the daughter of the head of the university—who has some secrets relating to her mother’s family  On hiatus as of July 2017.

Freefall, by Mark Stanley. Comedy, Sci-Fi, Furry. Long-Format. A larcenous alien and his naive robot pal living on a human colony world acquire the services of an uplifted humanoid wolf as their ship’s engineer under less-than-legal circumstances. As time goes on, the crew becomes caught up in the struggles and politics of the artificial intelligences of the colony. Binge-reading page here, colored strips here.

Girl Genius, by Phil & Kaja Foglio. Gaslamp Fantasy (Not-Steampunk), Action, Comedy, Mad Science, Alternate History. Long-format. A young woman discovers that she is the latest in a line of mad scientists including the vanished heroes of Europa as well as some of its most terrible villains.

Goblins, by Ellipsis Hana Stephens. Fantasy, RPGs, Action, Body Horror. Long-format. A tribe of goblins go from being mere MOBs to taking levels as adventurers themselves, facing ambiguity about alignment, morality, and the place of "monsters” in a world that seems to favor humanoids. Can get very gory at times. Light LGBT content including a prominent gay male character; transgender creator.

Goodbye to Halos, by Valerie Halla. Fantasy, Adventure. Long Format. Forced through a gateway to another world for her own safety, Fenic finds herself in the “run-down queer district” of a city of animal people—and spends a few years coming into own identity as a trans lesbian, forging a new life. But the reasons she was forced into this world are catching up to her, and she’ll need to turn her protective streak towards defending herself. Heavy LGBT themes; often not safe for work. The only work i can think of where a trans girl’s underwear bulge is treated as a completely nonsexual and innocent thing.

Grrl Power, by Dave Barrack. Superheroes, Sci-Fi. Long Format. Probably Not Safe For Work. Comics nerd Sydney Scoville winds up becoming a superhero herself after circumstances force her to reveal her powers and join up with an agency providing training and oversight. While consistently funny and clever with the use of powers, it can be very centered on the male gaze; the art starts out being pretty . I actually first started reading it because I recognized one of the characters from years prior when the artist was posting softcore smut to furry websites.

Guilded Age, by T. Campbell & Phil Kahn, art by John & Jason Waltrip and Erica Henderson. Fantasy, RPGs, Action, MMOs. Long-Format. A group of adventurers face off against threats to their world—such as the CEO of the company that programmed their world in the first place. Strong themes of intrigue, the nature of violence, and the concept of good and evil in fantasy settings. Completed, now running extras & side stories, including annotated repeats of the original pages.

Gunnerkrigg Court, by Tom Siddell. Fantasy, Sci-Fi. Long-Format. A young girl attends a strange boarding school specializing in matters of the supernatural and obscure, making friends with classmates, a ghost, robots, psychopomps, living shadows, fairies, and eldritch horrors in the form of silly woodland creatures while exploring the mysteries of the school and her own ancestry. Shows remarkable art progression; the style of the first storyline is unrecognizable from the present. Especially rewarding if you’re into alchemy. LGBT content, including prominent WLW characters. Warnings: unreality is a recurring theme, and there is a bit of “suicidal” fairies desperate to be reincarnated as humans. Boxbot is rubbish.

Johnny Wander, by Yuko Ota & Ananth Hirsh. Autobiographical, Fantasy, Humor, Mixed-Format. A mix of slice-of-life autobiographical pages, and short stories, including the longer format “Barbarous” and “Lucky Penny”.

Kevin & Kell, by Bill Holbrook. Comedy, Slice-of-Life, Furry. Mixed-Format. Extremely long-running strip (daily updates since September of 1995). In a world of anthropomorphic animals where predatory species can legally & without repercussions hunt & consume other species, a businesswoman wolf (Kell) and her uncommonly large rabbit husband (Kevin) make their blended family work in spite of social stigma against predator/prey relationships. Far more light-hearted than it sounds, though it often touches on social issues and drama. Light LGBT content from some minor recurring characters.

Kill Six Billion Demons, by Abbadon. Fantasy, Metaphysical, Martial Arts. Long Format. A college student’s attempt at heterosexuality is interrupted by the arrival of a legendary king of all reality. Thrust into a battle over the greatest power of all worlds, Allison faces devils, angels, and the city at the center of the 777,777 universes. It’s a lot to take in. Occasionally not safe for work. Frequent LGBT content, including WLW.

Love Me Nice, by Amanda Lafrenais. Comedy, Hollywood. Long Format. Set in a world shared by cartoon characters and ‘real’ people (think Roger Rabbit), where TV star Mac T. Monkey Jr. struggles between his irresponsible instincts and his attempts to build a life as an adult and a relationship with fellow protagonist (and manager) Claire. Some LGBT content; infrequent updates. Occasionally Not Safe For Work. 

Manly Guys Doing Manly Things, by Coelasquid. Comedy, Videogames, Parody. Mixed-Format. The staff of a temp agency for “ludicrously macho guys” tries to help the protagonists of video games, TV, and movies deal with their testosterone-addled brains in a constructive fashion. Occasional LGBT content—mostly MLM, naturally. Keep an eye out for the fluffy little velociraptors, and Mr. Fish the Gyarados. On indefinite hiatus since June of 2018.

Narbonic, by Shaenon K. Garrity. Comedy, Sci-Fi, Mad Science, Gerbils. Mixed-Format. Comp Sci. grad Dave needs a job. Helen B. Narbon, cute blonde mad scientist with a gerbil fixation, is hiring. Story arcs feature action-packed forensic linguistics, a worldwide conspiracy of guys with the same name, rodents uplifted to sentience, time travel. Some awkwardness around gender transformations, light LGBT content. Completed, with author annotations.

Nedroid Picture Diary, by Anthony Clark. Comedy, Absurdity. Short Format. Short comics that very quickly come to focus on the antics of the anomalous ursine orb Beartato and his friend/roommate Reginald, a bird who is just terrible. 

Not Drunk Enough, by Tess Stone. Supernatural, Action, Horror. Long Format. A survival horror styled webcomic by a creator with a history of exceptionally dynamic page composition and lettering. Expect lots of magnificently weird body horror.

O Human Star, by Blue Delliquanti. Roboticist Al Sterling died. Al Sterling woke up an android body mimicking his own. As he reconnects with his former partner-in-several-senses, he explores a world that remembers him as one of its greatest innovators. Major themes of identity, the definition of humanity, and gender and sexuality. LGBT themes including MLM and transgender characters. Warning for some discussion of self-harm.

Outsider, by Jim Francis. Sci-Fi. Long Format. Beautifully-illustrated science fiction story that is painfully slow to update. If you watched a lot of 80s and 90s sci-fi anime, you’ll get the vibe that this has—including its arguable weak point of being centered on a man who finds himself among an alien race dominated by warrior women. 

Patrik the Vampire, by Bree Paulsen. Supernatural, Slice-of-Life. Long Format. The unlife and history of an exceptionally awkward vampire and the mortals around him—book club, knitting, coffee shops, violent murder. Some LGBT content.

Poppy O’Possum, by I. Everett. Fantasy, Furries. Long Format. A single mother in a world of animal people where only opossums lack magic, Poppy just wants to settle down in quiet and safety with her daughter Lily. The world has other ideas—but fortunately, Poppy is mind-blowingly strong. On hiatus. Some LGBT content.

Questionable Content, by Jeph Jacques. Slice-of-Life, Comedy, Sci-Fi. Mixed-Format. Starts out focusing on indie rock fan Marten and his robotic “anthroPC” Pintsize. As the art evolves, so does the subject matter, focusing more and more on the rest of the cast and topics like the nature of personhood and identity for artificial intelligence. Eventually comes to feature significant LGBT content, including bisexual and transgender characters in the main cast.

Rae the Doe, by Olive Brinker. Comedy, Slice-of-Life. (Mostly) Short Format. If Garfield was a transgender doe and wore clothes and also there weren’t any jokes about Mondays or lasagna and the comic was constantly assumed to be autobiographical in spite of its creator frequently asserting otherwise and the comic was still genuinely funny. But otherwise just like Garfield, really.

Selkie, by Dave Warren. Sci-Fi, Slice-of-Life, Comedy, Drama. Long-Format. Former adoptee Todd becomes a father himself to a strange young girl who turns out to be a refugee from a secret underwater civilization. While the public gradually becomes aware that humans are not alone, family forms and is redefined as secrets from both Todd and Selkie’s past are revealed and dealt with, and kids confront issues of inclusion and exclusion. Also, for some reason two of the kids from Evangelion are Todd’s neighbors.

Skin Deep, by Kory Bing. Fantasy, Coming-of-Age, Monster Girls (and Boys). Michelle discovers the secret world of mythical monster people after a small medallion unlocks her own heritage as a sphinx—supposedly long-extinct, according to the other monsters. Michelle must explore who she is and her family history while also trying to avoid completely upending nonhuman society and maintaining secrets within a culture already used to the use of magical illusions and transformations. Light LGBT content.

Skin Horse, by Shaenon Garrity.  Comedy, Sci-Fi, Mad Science, Zombies, Canadians. Mixed-Format. Set in the same universe as Narbonic (see above), “Skin Horse” follows an organization of  the same name dedicated to providing social services to beings only recognized by the secret shadow government—staffed by a patchwork zombie bioweapon, a talking sled dog, a cross-dressing pansexual psychologist, and a receptionist in the form of an immobile Victorian robotic weapon of mass destruction, all overseen by a sentient swarm of bees. Frequent LGBT content.

Something*Positive, by RK Milholland. Comedy, Slice-of-Live, Parody. Mixed-Format. Very long-running comic that gradually grows from a dark and misanthropic sense of humor into a dark and misanthropic sense of humor with a warm and gooey center. Earlier comics can be pretty weak and handle many subjects very poorly (the first strip, linked above, features an abortion “joke”); gradually improves.in terms of LGBT representation to the point that it’s one of the better webcomics in that regard. I might recommend skipping ahead in the archives to the current decade (the “1937″ and “1938″ are strips flashing back to the previous generations).

Spacetrawler, by Christopher Baldwin. Sci-Fi, Comedy. Long-Format. The naive but brilliant alien race known as the Eebs are enslaved by interplanetary society at large, depending on their servile nature to maintain the high standard of technology and transportation across the void of space. A group of utterly incompetent aliens come to Earth to seek help in freeing the Eebs... and generally fuck everything up for the best with their terrible choices of sample humans. Currently in the midst of a sequel series focusing on new intrigue and antics, including a talking, murderous kangaroo.

Spinnerette, by Krakow Studios. Superheroes, Comedy, Sci-Fi. Mixed-Format. A grad student develops spider-themed superpowers—including extra arms—and attempts to navigate both concealing her transformation, and becoming a superhero in a world where super-powered vigilantes and criminals are a fact of life. Not Work-Safe due to suggestive artwork including improbably form-fitting costumes over improbably large bosoms. Recurring LGBT content.

Val & Isaac, by @tredlocity​. Sci-Fi, Fantasy,  Comedy. Mixed-Format. A space mercenary, her wizard buddy, and the cyborg fish girl who keeps all their technology functional, occasionally featuring their shapeshifting assassin friend Space Dread. Major LGBT content, including WLW and MLM, and a prominent transgender character.

Vattu, by Evan Dahm. Fantasy, Worldbuilding. Long-Format. Born to the Fluters of the grasslands, Vattu finds her traditional subsistence lifestyle torn away as a multi-species empire asserts a claim over her people’s lands. A fantasy epic with several major arcs; see also the creator’s earlier completed works Rice Boy and Order of Tales.

XKCD, by Randall Munroe. Science, Parody, Comedy. Short Format. Stick figures and scientific silliness. Make a point of checking the alt-text of each comic by moving your cursor over the strip. Early pages are much more along the lines of experimental sketches; link above directs to a random comic in the archives. Some comics are more along the lines of interactive games!

Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic (YAFGC), by Rich Morris. Fantasy, Comedy, Parody. Mixed-Format. Not Work-Safe. The inhabitants of a world heavily based in Dungeons & Dragons go about their lives as monsters, humanoids, and soul-searching mixes of the two. Begins with a romance between a beholder and a goblin, gradually builds up to battles between nations and the gods themselves, while also finding time to explore family, loss and love, and whether kobolds count as sapient. Moderate LGBT content including recurring gay & bisexual characters (it’s a very large cast); new readers guide here.

[lynnie-writes-blog]

Moving On (venom fic)

Summary: Anne and Dan have finally tied the knot. With Eddie in attendance to the wedding he comes to term with his feelings and relationship with Anne, while Venom isn’t as willing to admit this resolution.

     For a lawyer and a doctor, Eddie imagined their wedding would have been a lot more extravagant than a church ceremony. It was a gorgeous cathedral mind you, beams of red and blue raining down on the aisle from the stained glass was impressive enough. From the golden statue of Christ himself and the gothic stone structures, he figured there would have been a bit more pizazz.

     He imagined there would be more flowers, both in quantity, size, and variety, when in reality the only flowers he could see were pale chrysanthemums here and there. Perhaps a string quartet would have added a more expensive atmosphere to the event rather than an old woman on the organ.

     Maybe it was the dress she wore, simple in its plain satin with little details to it. Though the wedding was modest, Eddie could tell from his back row seat that Anne was happy with where she was. He saw in her tears when saying her vows, in her smile that was interrupted by the first kiss of the newlyweds, and the skip in her step as she and Dan walked out of the church and to their limo.

     This is not the end.

     Eddie sighed through his nose with his friend’s reassurance, pulling a phone up to his ear and answering, “I think it is, bud.” Normally he would be willing to look like a tweaker and just talk to “himself,” but he had to be mindful of the very Catholic crowd he was in, so he excused the talking with the phone.

     It is not.

     Eddie opened his mouth to argue, but the voice continued.

     She still has to go to the courthouse to make it legal, yes?

     “Yes, but-”

     Then I will bite his head off before they arrive.

     “No,” Eddie scolded, his tone growing much more stern than it had been before, “you will not.”

     But-

     “No.”

     …Fine. We still have time.

     Eddie didn’t answer the voice in his head this time, keeping the phone to his ear while he followed the rest of the crowd out the doors. All while uncomfortably avoiding eye contact with those around him, after all half of these people were Anne’s family. He knew them well, he liked all of them, but not all of them still liked him. The brunet kept to himself while he slowly inched forward, the process of leaving being slow while everyone in the church was trying to leave at once.

     Eddie?

     “Hm?”

     You aren’t bothered by this?

     “By what?” Eddie spoke as if he didn’t already know what Venom was talking about. He earned a disapproving grunt from the symbiote as a response. “Why would I be bothered?”

     We worked so hard for her, from underneath Eddie’s suit jacket he could feel a familiar ooze coil around his arm, we did everything right for so long.

     In recognition of this Eddie tossed his head from side to side, still unphased and noting, “About a year I think.” Man, Dan and Anne really hit it off quickly, didn’t they? Not even two years and they tied the knot.

     Yes, which is precisely why we deserve her.

     “More than Dan?”

     Yes, more than Dan!

     “Really?” Cocking a brow, Eddie finally was able to step out of the cathedral doors and into the springtime sun, grains of rice scraping underneath his shoes. “Even though Dan never dug into her work files?” Venom didn’t answer so quickly this time. “Never got her fired? Never - oh, I dunno - betrayed her trust entirely?”

     Eddie could hear a low, thoughtful rumble in his head, followed by: You apologized, though.

     “I did.”

     I thought she forgave you.

     “She did.”

     Then why? We - We made it right by her!

     Eddie never thought he would be stuck explaining such a thing to an alien. It made sense that Venom wouldn’t quite understand this, he came from a different planet and a different culture. The man strolled down the few steps to the sidewalk, drifting off to to the side to stay a little more isolated. While family and friends mingled, he took his phone call.

     “Well… yeah, we made it up to her,” he frowned a little in his thought, “but that doesn’t mean she wants us romantically.”

     Why not?

     “Because we- I proved that she can’t always trust me. Dan never did that to her, so she moved on.” His shoulders slumped. “She fell out of love with me, then fell in love with Dan.”

     But we-!

     “Just because we’re nice to her doesn’t mean we get to marry her.” They were both quiet for a moment, allowing Eddie the moment to glance up from the sidewalk and make eye contact with a handful of people. Most of them were giving him odd or sympathetic looks, they must have overheard his side of the conversation. Eddie began to walk further away from the cluster of wedding guests.

     “Dan is a good guy,” Eddie reassured, “he’s nice, and she’s really, really happy with him. Without me.” Eddie stopped walking when he was a comfortable fifteen feet away from the outliers of the crowd, sighing.

     …You didn’t answer my question, Eddie.

     “What?” His face morphed into a scowl, “I totally did! I just gave you a ton of reasons-”

     Not that. Why aren’t you upset?

     Eddie stopped at this, trying to think of his answer.

     You were distraught because she was not with you. You would cry over her.

     “Thank you for the reminder,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

     We have worked tirelessly for her. It was… uncomfortable, and you failed entirely.

     “Wow, nothing gets past you.”

     Shut up. Why are you not sad? Why did you give up?

     “Give up?”

     You’ve been less determined to earn her favor for a while now, Eddie. Why? When you tried so hard?

     “Ahh,” Eddie lifted his free hand to rub the back of his neck, asking himself the same question. “I… I think I’m over her, V.”

     What?

     “Yeah.”

     Are you certain?

     “Not entirely,” Eddie admitted, “but… yeah, I feel really good. I feel okay about this.”

     She meant a lot to you, Eddie.

     “She still does.” Bringing his hand down, it was comfortably stuffed in his pocket, “Just in a different way, now.”

     …Are you absolutely certain? Venom repeated. You haven’t tried giving her a head yet. That might reignite the spark.

     “Thanks for the advice,” Eddie took in a deep breath, “but I think I just want to find someone else to give heads to.”

     Oh…

     Eddie felt a little guilty, admittedly, but not for himself. He felt content with how his path had separated from Anne’s, difficult as it was. But Venom had struggled a lot with this too. Learning how to properly flirt (he still struggled, hence the gifting heads suggestion), practicing restraint, forcing himself to go into situations that were foreign and uncomfortable. Eddie imagined it would be difficult for an alien to take in for the sake of its host.

     “But,” Eddie’s posture straightened, smiling some, “it’s a new day, my friend. There are plenty of fish in this great sea, we just need to find ours.”

     I thought Anne was ours.

     “Ya thought wrong,” the response was short and sweet, and rude, “but the beautiful thing is now we can start fresh. With someone we both choose and agree with, not just a gal I happen to have old beef with.”

     But I chose Ann-

     “And what better place to get some numbers than a wedding reception?” Eddie pulled his phone away from his ear and shoved it back in his pants pocket, strolling up to the rest of the crowd with a bounce in his step. “But first, chocolate.”

     Chocolate?

     “Nothing helps a broken heart better than chocolate, V,” Eddie poked his head around, trying to eye the nearest gas station, “and no one wants to flirt with a guy sulky over his ex.”

     I knew it! You are-

     “I was talking about you.”