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[xxoxofemme]

My thoughts on 15.16

Hello lovelies! Welcome to my extremely biased review of Supernatural 15.16! Will probably be out of order to the episode because I'm an inconsistent bitch. So, let's start with the basis of the episode. Young Winchesters, flashback. This didn't feel like my boys, their dynamic was incredibly off. Dean called Sam names, tried to ditch him, and ignored him. We have been shown Dean in the past at this age before, and we know very well this is not how he treated his little brother. Now, yes, Sam is still greatly important to Dean, but at that age? Sam was his pride and joy, his everything, his Sammy was everything to him. And Dean would never, never treat him like that. I also wanted to point out it felt strange for Dean to connect so easily to Caitlyn and Travis. Sam I feel would want to help, but it felt odd for Dean to jump into opening up like that. With Robin in the previous flashback episode, (when he was nearly the same age as he is here!) It took weeks for him to open up, and even then he was still closed up. True, Robin wasn't in danger, but he still gave in to telling Cait and Travis extremely quickly. I think Dean, especially at that age, would not have jumped into that action without Johns explicit say-so. Another thing, is that this timeline is incorrect. In 'Just My Imagination' (11.09 I believe) we see Sam jumping excitedly to go hunt with Dean. True, Sam had been talking to Scully (is that his name? Me not fact checking names Im sorry) about possibly going to college, but at the end of the episode we see him saying "This, this is my life! I'm finally going hunting with Dean!" Sam was nine in that episode. And in this most recent flashback episode, we see him at ten years old. Now I'm aware of how much change can happen in one year, but over the course of 15 seasons I've seen how often Sam changes, how his goals and opinions evolve. He doesn't change an opinion that firm in less than a year. And yet, in 15.16 we have him holding onto hope of college and researching where he could go. We have previously been told Dean (and subsequently John) had no idea about Sams driving desire for higher education, only that he was a bright student who enjoyed learning. It hadn't occurred to them that Sam would truly ditch, even as much as he complained. It was part of why Sam was so cast out (as we are shown throughout season one) when he said he was leaving. To them, it was incredibly out of the blue. This goes against Dean finding out about Sams college research in the latest episode. This would mean Dean knew what Sam wanted, that Dean said "maybe" to Sams wish. Which we have had reinforced many times over that this didn't happen. See all of the early seasons. I understand that we have fifteen seasons and over three hundred episodes, but it frustrates me that there is such a glaring plot hole. Sams sudden 'abandonment' of the family business was such an important plot line in the early seasons and they truly went against much of it. Onto my next topic! Towards the end of the episode, Dean tells Caitlyn he is always afraid. Aside from the heartbreaking aspect, this is huge character development. Dean uses his macho, never afraid, badass male attitude as a shield, and we saw it crumble for a moment. Dean is tired of lying. He is tired of pretending everything is okay. And he might not have been able to open up to his brother just yet, but he let his facade crack for a moment and for once, admitted his fear. An important point is that Dean is likely to never seen Caitlyn again, never speak to her again. Not that Caitlyn doesn't matter to him, but in his line of work, it just isn't likely. He lives from one apocalypse to the next, and he still has the mindset that everyone he loves gets killed. So his confession, while greatly meaningful, doesn't mean he is getting to the point of succeeding at opening up to his loved ones. Still, though, I was very proud of him. Next next next. Onto Dean seeing his brothers dead body. (See, out of order I warned you of my sporadic nature)

This is one angle I see it as: And so, here is young Sam. Reminding him what it's like to lose a child who depends on you so deeply. Reminding him of how much his heart aches when he goes against what's true to him. And the trauma of seeing his brother, still his light after all this time, broken, mutilated, dead on a floor. Especially ten year old Sam? His love, his everything, still waiting for the torture he knows lies ahead? Perhaps this implies that Sam, still young at heart, still hopeful of the ways of the world, is still destined to meet and end like that. A pile of bodies, from a monster they could never understand. Except, many years later, it isn't a one off. It's God. That is so, so symbolic at a time like this. But, from another point of view, I offer this: This may not even about Sam. This could be about Jack. Dean has just been told Jack is going to die, and Jack is like his kid at this point. And Dean is terrified of losing another kid. But Dean still can't, he won't let himself feel that way about Jack. So his subconscious puts forth Sam, because Sam has truly always been his kid. His brother, yes, but Sam was basically his child. This is a way his subconscious and the storyline is reinforcing: A) Sam is like Deans child as well as his brother. and B) Dean feels that Jack is his kid but can't let himself admit it. No matter who the writers meant for us to interpret the moment as referencing, we still end up with the same message.  It's about the vulnerability of caring for someone with such a tragic ending. It's about trusting yourself enough to allow bad things to happen, knowing you will fix it in the end. It's about the horrors of life and how you fight them. It's about family. *checks notes* Onward we go! Now about my very favourite part of the episode: Sammy cracking. We haven't seen Sam that angry, that out of control, yelling, wrecked, at this brother, in a very long time. While I understand Deans point of view, while everyone has right to everything they're doing, I was, I am, shocked and impressed of Sams reaction. That was raw, true emotion. He was furious, at a loss, and Jared played it beautifully. The tension in that scene was incredible and J2 knocked it the hell out of the park. As for Dean, we have seen Dean like this before, many times over. Making the wrong choice for the right reasons. He has a mindset of doing the hard thing for the right people. And right now the stakes are higher than ever. He is screaming at himself just as much as Sam, that they don't have a choice. He doesn't have a choice. Losing Jack, it has to be worth it, they have to save the world. A lesson that they never seem to learn is that they can't save the world without each other. Their motivations and emotions, morals, and breaking points, are all interlaced in unexplainable ways. Pull one thread, take one of them out of the equation, and it's all going to go to hell. Now I didn't say this was healthy, but co-dependency is all that they know. It's all that they are, and they rely on it (each other) to function. Dean has to realize he needs Jack, Jack is a part of them, and finally as a team they can fix it. Dean currently can't accept this. He is holding onto his anger like a birthright, like a saviour, because anger is the only thing he feels he can rely on. So he is taking his self conflict out on Sam. He always takes it out on those he loves. Dean is no stranger to self conflict, self hatred. And he takes it out on Sam, or he smashes the shit out of Baby, he ignores and pushes Cas away. This is how Dean copes, and Sam knows it. Sam usually takes it. Braces for the punches and stands his ground. But now, now Sam is cracking. Sam is breaking, and he can't hold on anymore, he can't shove it down and bite his tongue and take it. He explodes, he shows, he tells Dean he can't believe this. It's so powerful from both ends.

The dynamic right now, with four episodes left, is a bomb-field. Dean was lying to Sam about Jack dying, Cas is lying to the brothers about the Empty deal

still angry with Jack and Cas about what happened with Mary, Dean is lying to Amara and Billie, Cas is lying to Billie and telling Jack to not spill the beans about his deal. No one is on good terms, and those who are, their relationships are about to blow up. The team can't handle that right now, they ALL need to come clean, and be on the same page. They don't have time for tears, for punches, for screams. They need each other in this final run. They are all each other have.

Aaaaaand that was my thoughts and meta about 15.16. I love y'all, feel free to leave your thoughts or ask my opinion on something else. Have sweet dreams, a good day, a pleasant beginning, and a happy ending.

See you, sweethearts.