#Adam's Parenting Skills™

[kazbrown]

Adam heaved a relieved sigh as he and Cain hauls the latest kill for their dinner tonight.

As they head to their hut, Adam sees he's precious one true ( and as far as he's concerned) loving wife waving at them while smiling brightly. Seeing this lovely sight, Adam throws the dead saber tooth tiger at Cain, causing him to yelp at the suddenness and weight.

The First Man and Mother of Humanity share a loving embrace, completely unaware of Cain having an annoyed look on his face, but quickly turns into a mischievous smile as he sees the dead prehistoric tigers fang broke off.

Adam: The best husband and father ever is back baby!

Eve: ( giggles at her husband's antics ) How's your hunting with Cain go, Honeybear?

Adam: Eh, kid did good. He's definitely better than how he started out.

Eve: Addy.....he was five when you tried to teach Cain and Aclima hunting.

Adam: Still, it's going to be a looooong time before he gets as good as m-!

Adam suddenly stops and screams manly ( read: yelps shrilly ) loudly as he jumps in pain. Eve gasps at her husband's pain before she hears the source problem.

Her sweet first son Cain laughing as he points and mocks at his father's pain while Adam tries to pull out the saber tooth tiger's fang on his butt.

Adam sees Cain and immediately two-and-two together, he immediately decides to discipline his son.

Adam: ( angry ) WHY YOU LITTLE! ( quickly grabs Cain by the throat and proceeds to strangle him ) I'll teach you to make fun of your father's pain!

Cain: ( choking) Ha-h-a Ha! W-worth i-it!

Eve: ( horrified) Adam! Stop that! Put him down NOW!

Adam, not wanting his usual kindhearted wife angry at him, he quickly let's go of Cain, who rubs his neck.

Eve: How many times do I have to tell you, Adam? No strangling Cain! No matter how much he makes you upset!

Adam looks down, embarrassed. Cain hides his snickering at his father being chastised. But Eve quickly put a stop to that.

Eve: Don't think your off the hook, Cain! ( Cain's smirk swiftly turns into a cringe look at his mother's anger at him ) You shouldn't have done that to your father! You could have seriously hurt him!

Eve gives them both a disappointed look, which to them is almost worse than her angry.

Adam and Cain: ( chastised) Sorry, Eve/Mom.

Eve sighs at her two troublesome boys as they send poorly hidden mocking faces at each other while they walk into their shared hut with their quarry.

Eve: ( hopeful ) Well, I hope at least they'll get along better in the future!

******

Present Day

A Sinner Adam is violently strangles his son, who is also a Sinner, at the Hazbin Hotel.

Adam: You fucking cheating, little shit! I know you were distracting me!

Cain: ( chokes ) No-ot my f-ault you s-s-suck at video g-games, Old T-timer!

Adam: I don't suck! You suck, First Failure!

Cain: W-what a c-comp-pling a-agrument, First M-man-C-child!

Charlie looks on at this, upset at this violent ( and unfortunately recurring ) action, she turns to Eve, who is just drinking her tea calmly.

Charlie: Um, excuse me, Miss Eve?

Eve: ( smiles ) Please, dear! We're practically family at this point. Just call me Aunt Eve or Mama Eve!

Charlie: (smiles uneasy) R-right! Well, Mama Eve, do you think either one of us should stop that?

Eve: My dear future daughter-in-law, I've been trying to pry my beloved husband and my darling sweet boy apart for centuries. At this point, mainly due to Cain's curse, it's pointless at this point.

Eve and Charlie watch as Cain retains enough strength to proceed to choke Adam back.

Eve: ( smiles warmly, unconcerned) Honestly, I think this is fun to them now!

[pyromaniacldrt]

Damn, just realized I forgot Jimmy in my headcannon list.

Which is embarrasing, since he´s one of my faves.

He is a csi-fi movies nerd, specially of Pixel and Back in the Future.

He has defeated Tetris once, and to this day that´s the achievement he´s most proud of.

He is a Harry Potter fan thanks to the influence of his weird, on the run and probably a mafia memeber uncle, who has enough debts to sink Mark Zucchenberg in poverty. He has a boat tho:)

Jimmy comes from a HUGE family full of Gingers™, and at some point the Wild Kratts theorized he could be a Weasley, but it was descarted because JZ is VERY rich.

His wardrobe is full of the Adam Sandler´ aesthetic. That, and a sinlge Gala Suit that no one is sure how it got there.

When looking where to apply for a job after graduating, at first he had thought on joining the air force ,since he didn´t want to go to a local airport to get experience; but then Chris (a dude he met playing minecraft online and later on became friends) offered him to work as a pilot in his older brother´s proyect for an academy.

He couldn´t belive it when he met Koki again, and they pretty much tackled eachother into a hug.(See Koki's headcanon list)

He has a power suit, but Jimmy never uses it (plus, it has malfunctioned so many times that Aviva is impressed its still working)

bro is great at social events, but he has to be dragged in to participate.

Jimmy thinks very little of Gourmand to a professional perspective, if not as a decent human being, and finds his recipes disastrous, and not only because they are made with endangered species.

Back when his grandma wasn´t in the nursing home, she had a five star restaurant that she later on lost to a bet, in which she would teach enterprising chefs her recipes and different cooking skills, including a teen Jimmy, who wanted to be just like her if his dream of becoming a pilot didn´t work out. Between those enterprising chefs was Gourmand, the so called "prodigy", who even got to become the main cheff when Grandma Jimmelda retired. He also won the restaurant when betting with the old woman (he probably cheated, but there´s no evidence)

Jimmy went there regulary and even worked there because his parents wanted him to be hardworking (didn´t exaclty work, but ok)...

Until he found out about the cooked endangered animals and reported Gourmand, making him loose the restaurant and his cooking liscense. Yeah. They don´t get along.

He has a shark stuffed plushie that Martin gave him on christmas. (Jimmy gave him a new pair of socks. He needed those.)

He likes to make pastries a lot, specially if it´s one of his gandma´s recipes.

Grandma Jimmelda has some very deep lore stories from her youth, including marrying at 14 and going to war twice (don´t ask which one though, not even she knows).

Jimmy has had thought of letting his hair grow long, and I personaly belive he would have it very long to try to make the Rapunzel fight moves(he can´t).

Still, he has to go and have a haircut every time he visits his parents and Zach.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that: Grandma Jimmelda has a niece, Aunt Jaminet, who is the cousin of the mother of Zach´s grandma. Somehow (I don´t want to know how), they´re almost the same age.

The family meetings are just something else, specially when there´s a whole bunch of gingers on the table and a singe black haired guy that only comes once every two christmas because he lives across the state and no one likes (Jimmy also rarely shows up, but he´s the cool cousin/uncle, so he´s been forgiven by the little ones, unlike Zach)

Tbh, nor Zach or Jimmy know they are related. I mean, they are distant second cousins(?), but they are still family. Somehow.

He has played World War Z and finished it in three days.

He has also bested with full stars Cooking Mama, ofc at the extent of his emotional stability, but pshh Who needs it?

Martin´s - Chris´- Aviva´s - Koki´s

[fluffypotatey]

Oh FUCK YEAH to them not getting ableism or marriage. Fellow anon, I am smooching your head.

Newt is a perfect example. He was the Keeper of the Runners, and when he got hurt and couldn't anymore, they just found him another job that made good use of his experience and leadership skills, there was never a loss of respect. And YEAH there so has to be others, mental or physical, and they give zero fucks about it, they just find something that works and do that, that's why they have every Greenie try all the jobs to find what works best. Just a very clear "autism be damned, my boy can work a grill" mentality. Like, Adam needs to count the fence posts before he can work and Leo can't help Frypan make bread because he doesn't like how the dough feels, but who cares, it doesn't change anything.

Yessss to gender and sexuality and marriage. They respect someone having a favourite person, in whatever capacity that might be (the Ivy Trio is a great example) but they don't understand marriage beyond respecting your partner and being up front with what you want out of the relationship. You just do whatever works for you. You want to only be with one person? Go for it. You have more than one person? Sure, that's fine. You don't like anyone that way? No problem. Same with gender. Wear your hair however. Dress in whatever. Use any name. If it's not causing an actual problem, like one that's impacting others/the group, then it is literally Not An Issue.

Once they're a little older and kids start happening in Safe Haven, the same applies to family dynamics. Like, Sarah, James, and Peter are partners. They aren't sure which of them is the biological father of her baby but who cares, they're all the parents. Frieda isn't particularly maternal, so she lets Kevin and Michael be parents instead. Once the kid is old enough to understand, they'll explain if asked, no big deal. Legit the only time they keep track of blood relations is to avoid incest. Other than that, family is whatever you decide it is.

And yeah, I think a lot of the sexism in the books is more author-based than anything, and the movies do a lot better because the actors just Don't. Like, yeah, Thomas worries about Teresa, but that's because they're in a dangerous situation and he cares about her, not because she's a Helpless Girl™ and Newt even says she can take care of herself. No one questions Brenda being a badass. When the Icers get the drop on them, they're just like "aw damn we're busted" not "ew we got beat by girls". They all know Ava Paige is crazy dangerous. They don't question Mary Cooper calling shots in the Right Arm.

Okay, this got away from me a little, but yeah.

I just love these weird little dudes.

YEEEE LIKE HAVING THEIR COMMUNITY IDEAS SUPERSEDING THE ONE THEY CAN NO LONGER REMEMBER AT THE SAFE HAVEN!!!!!

like sure, Jorge and Vince remember a world before the Scorch but ain’t no way would they stop the Gladers and Icers from passing on these ideas of community. like i am sure even the Gladers used this after movie!tst and Vince had to be used to it from Harriet and Sonya when they were in the Right Arm (maybe not used to everything but knew the Icers had a community sort of similar to the Gladers)

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace ep 13

I really like bestie Meizhuang's practicality and no-nonsense style. Too bad she's definitely gonna die (since her name isn't Zhen Huan). Honestly, she and ZH should be the perfect team: ZH is the right amount of paranoid and distrusting, bestie is more pessimistic and calculating. But I think the flaw is, they're too permissive of each other. I mean, they give advice but aren't adamant and demanding about it. If you're really gonna say you're sisters, BE BOSSY ABOUT IT. smh

Tapping in Ling Rong was smart. I never agreed with them not keeping her close.

Poor Fourth Prince. It's both a terrible idea to get associated with a kid the emperor hates... and I wish Zhen Huan could afford to openly care about him. Seems like a good kid.

ZH loosening up when she thinks no one is watching and being playful with her maid is THE SADDEST THING because you are struck that this is the real her. And she has to hide this person at all times and walk a tightrope in the proper concubine act. Even with Meizhuang she is all politeness, isn't so free & easy.

Meet cute with the real Prince Guo. Except this is a horror story, so no such thing. "You must not tell this to anyone. Otherwise, I'll have no burial ground for my body."

I love the old consort. She just straight up leaves the party all, 'I've seen enough drama in my day. Too tired for all this bullshit.'

If she can see it clearly, why can't the emperor? tbh I think he can too. It just doesnt threaten or affect him so he doesn't care.

Hell workplace dinner where everyone is drinking bored, so they've ganged on someone for entertainment. Everyone is salivating at the spectacle of the protagonist embarassing themselves. So of COURSE protagonist will shock everyone with their Secret Special Skills™. It's a very cliche trope but I think most viewers would have to admit that WE LOVE IT. We all eat this shit up with a spoon.

Ep 14

IM SCREAMING. Hua Fei, I pledge fealty. Marry me. "Consort Fleur, what is the matter with you?" Wavering, coughing, making indigestion faces: "I have no greviance over anything. I lost my composure because I was overcome with emotions watching Lady Sourire's performance." The emperor keeps being like, oh REALLY babe but you're basic. When did you start liking poetry? and babygirl puts her whole pussy into it. 👏👏 Girlboss gaslight gatekeep.

ZH really out here eager to co-parent with Meizhuang and ready to rush back from kissing the emperor's ass. I know she legit was into him (why??) at the start but I feel like reality has set in and she's just playing the part now. She's drawing her and Meizhuang's names together with a heart in her Lisa Frank notebook and planning how to spend their golden years together after they pop out a couple kids.

Hua Fei, the light of my life, breaks down the politics of it all. She's very savvy and will be a near impossible opponent to defeat - unless, of course, you have the protagonist halo. or if bro starts losing battles.

Empress pops in to remind us that being the CFO also sucks. Endless, tireless smiling and benevolence. You can't even throw a coquettish tantrum or two for the luz.

The ghost of the empresses's sister that the emperor loved most lingers yet again. Did the empress kill her sister? The thunder & lightening say yes.

The mess with Ling Rong's dad and the pull of Hua Fei's brother great examples of how the harem struggles aren't really about 'a bunch of sad women fighting over a man'. Being in the harem is entering a circle of power and influence. Yes, the concubines aren't supposed to 'discuss state affairs' but that's a rule made to be circumvented. Pleasing the emperor can make him reward your noble family and factions of the harem are connections within powerful noble families. Because Ling Rong is there, even though the emperor doesn't remember her name she has strings to pull. Whether it works out this time for her, it's a recourse she wouldn't have otherwise. And Meizhuang is able to go straight to the emperor's residence and get an update on the situation and counsel from the head eunuch. They have influence and control beyond what other citizens have.

[of course, we can't forget the prize for this hunger games is the biggest of them all -- NO, not some royal dick, but having your kid be the next emperor. Putting your family in the history books forever as part of the dynasty. Potentially changing history.]

[that's why I don't mentally categorise Story of Yanxi Palace as a harem drama. That's the setting, true, but Yingluo enters of her own will and it's due to her revenge quest. She isn't advocating for or protecting her clan and has zero intent to climb the ladder, but is acting in revenge of her sister, then her sworn sister empress, then her bestie. Then she inadvertently falls in love with her frenemy emperor (of all things!) and wants to accompany him, despite her terror of childbirth. She has no interest in the throne for herself, her clan, or her kids. She's playing the game all the wrong way, because she's not playing it at all - her goals aren't aligned to anyone else's. That is the delight of Yanxi Palace; she's dropped into everyone else's harem drama with a metaphorical sword on her back, the unpredictable engine of chaos in this carefully choreographed dance of waxing and waning power & influence.]

Empress really shows off her skills in this episode. No one actually knows how hard she tried for Ling Rong's dad but she has the position to get away with advocating, without losing much. And she gets their gratitude and steers them towards fighting my gf Hua Fei in her stead. Empress was the biggest winner in this incident.

ZH on her way there, as she expertly manipulates the emperor by commenting on state affairs without actually directly discussing them. She's smart to be hiding the depth of her education and only bringing it out when necessary.

Damn she's really playing the "you're my ✨husband✨" card for all it's worth. And we can see that, for now, it's worth a lot.

The maid making the play for the emperor's interest with the lotus blossoms is the Soon to be Evil half-sister, right?

[saintobio]

AI, I JUST FINISHED CHAPTER 9! I have so many thoughts about the recent chapter and I am dying to share them with you! You write so well and put so much effort in your works and you deserve to know that your readers see that!

Another amazing ride and despite the news about Y/N's health, it's incredibly satisfying! To see Y/N finally step back and realize that she needs to stand her ground and look after herself the way she's been doing for everyone else is the biggest character development here. I didn't see it coming that the last line would be from Y/N and directed at Gojo! It's a clear line drawn about her characterization at this point and just shows how she's changed. And it's an amazing line that still reflects who she is because it's not necessarily hurtful, it just establishes her new boundaries, and neither is it unreasonable, it's a perfect demand that still keeps the relationship balanced. She could've been petty and asked for him to leave Sera, she could've demanded to move out. But she still chose to honor the marriage, just in her terms this time because now she recognizes that she's as much a part of that marriage as Gojo is and therefore deserves better.

As for the frosty asshole, I was the Gojo sympathizer on your main blog asks and I still stand by everything I said. I still see where Gojo is coming from and why he acts the way he does but after chapter 8, I found that I could no longer sympathize with him. Coming from an emotionally draining background is no excuse to treat anyone else poorly, especially the one person who's actually trying to ease your pain despite being hurt herself. But his biggest flaw as a character was his refusal to admit his mistakes and grow past them. We already know he's self-aware, but he's adamant in keeping his hurtful ways because of his pride and because of his lack of emotional maturity. I know that in the recent chapter he's had a very rude and harsh awakening, but he's yet to prove that he can actually step and put his money where his mouth is. It's good to see that he's stopped listening to Sera and shifting blame to Y/N tho.

Speaking of Sera, just like in my other ask, I also see where she's coming from. It's really skillful how you write flawed characters. She's an antagonist but you still humanize her, some fic writers simply choose to make their antagonists a one-dimensional caricature of a Bad Guy™ to make it easier for the readers to digest but you actually make the effort to write her as more than just a random mistress. She grew up the eldest daughter of a poor family in a bad neighborhood. Her parents are unreliable and her siblings are way too young to help out. So now she shoulders the burden of providing for them and keeping their family afloat. I do believe she's not inherently a bad person, however she is selfish, bitter, vindictive, and lacks self-awareness. This could all be a product of her upbringing but as a grown adult, she can no longer blame her environment for her nasty attitude as she's olf enough to know better. Just like Gojo, she is refusing to change.

I also noticed she self-pities a lot and directs the negativity that stirs towards Y/N because she's the easiest target in her eyes. She hates the rich people who constantly look down on her and seeing as these same people favors Y/N, she sees her as the embodiment of everything she simultaneously hates but wishes she could become. She's a hypocrite. She is obsessing over Y/N's status not only because she's envious, but also because it makes it easier for her to justify how she treats her. She was actually civil with her the first time they met, but that turned sour when she realized just how better she had it. Everything she did in the Bora Bora trip was out of bitterness and envy, not even love for Gojo. Because in this last chapter its basically been confirmed that he doesn't love Gojo for the man he is, but for the man she wants him to be; she is with him because she thinks he's what he needs.

I do feel for her, because she never thought she'd end up the abtagonist of what used to be a fairytale for her. But she needs to realize soon that the moment she agreed to Gojo's marriage to Y/N and stayed while completely aware of his plans to use and discard her, she already made herself the villain. She might think of herself as the victim but it was her who put herself in that position in the first place. She's just misdirecting her frustration on Y/N because she refuses to take accountability much like Gojo used to in the previous chapters.

Anyways, I'm sorry for the long ask! It's just that I didn't get to say much on my previous ask here because I was far too overwhelmed with rage to actually sort my thoughts out! I hope you're well and the new posting schedule is working better for you!

- 🦴

THIS ‼️ hands down your understanding of gojo, yn, and sera’s respective characterization was one of the best things i’ve read. thank u so sooo much for sharing ur thoughts. it’s an honor for me <333