#Actually I think I just might have a soft spot for everything s4 since it's the first season I witnessed as it was airing pffttt

[sskk-manifesto]

And so the big sskk shortage begins (no sskk for the next 15 episodes) (and the sskk episode coming after kind of sucks)

[starstruckkittensweets]

“Letters to My Love” | Hanji x Reader

Fandom: Attack on Titan  Pairing: Hanji x Reader  Words: 4k 

A/N: This is a self-indulgent, completely unfiltered, messy little fic that deals with my love for Hanji. Ever since I started reading AoT back in 2015, I’ve had a soft spot for Hanji. My little ray of sunshine, one of my first comfort characters, the one character I could actually see myself becoming friends with in real life. Seeing her death finally animated (beautifully) brought a lot of feelings forward. She was brave and gorgeous and kind and absolutely amazing. It actually feels like I’m saying farewell to a close friend of mine. And so this messy fic was born, mostly unedited but with a lot of my personal feelings channeled into the reader’s POV. You can read this as either a platonic or romantic relationship, whatever floats your boat. I hope you enjoy the fic! 

Warnings: lots of angst, major character death, implied reader death, some blood and violence, struggling to cope with grief, post-war/post-snk 139 world, Hanji is referred to as female with she/her pronouns 

THIS FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR AOT S4 PART 3 (AND THE UPCOMING PART 4) AND SNK 139! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT ALL CAUGHT UP, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! 

It’s all so stupid. A stupid idea, a stupid reason behind it, a stupid man telling you about it in the first place. Why even bother with this in the first place? It’s not like it’ll help you in the long run.

But Falco’s still staring up at you with those big eyes, the slightest quiver of his lip, arms stretched out towards your own.

“Please?” His voice is unnaturally soft; it might be the lighting, but you can almost see a tear in those huge eyes. “At least try it, won’t you? I promise, you’ll feel better. Just like Dad says.”

You don’t have the heart to tell the kid his father’s full of shit, just like everyone else in this horrible world. Nothing’s left for you to enjoy, nothing you can cling to during the tough times. Those days are gone, the memories of bliss vanishing with every passing day.

But he looks so sad, so fucking hopeful, as though he still believes you can do it. You can lift this crushing weight off your chest with just a pen, some paper, and a few words every day.

“…Fine.” He practically shoves the dusty old notebook into your chest with a smile. “I’ll give it a shot.”

You’ll try, but you already know it’s a waste of time.

I’m not good at this. Writing’s never been my strong suit—not when it comes to other people. But you already know knew that, didn’t you?

Mr. Grice gave me the idea. Says writing everything down is a lot better than saying it out loud sometimes. Falco said the same thing; he still writes to his brother every other week. 

I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’ll ever send them, they’re just gonna sit in my desk collecting dust. But I told Falco I’d try for him. He’s a sweet kid, I can see why you like liked him. Sorry, it’s a habit. 

I don’t know what else to say. I guess I’ll try again tomorrow.

It’s me again. Onyankopon came to visit again. He checks up on me at least once every week. Same day, same time. It’s like he doesn’t trust me. Maybe he’s just looking out for me. That’s what Levi says.

Things are slowly going back to normal. He says it’s been almost five months since you left the battle. It’ll be spring soon. This winter hasn’t been too bad though. I miss the snow a little bit. Maybe one day we can go further north to see some next year. I know Gabi and Falco would enjoy it.

I can’t think of anything else to write down. I’m sure I’ll be back soon though.

Mundane topics. What you ate today. Who you saw at the market. The stories Gabi and Falco would make up whenever they were bored.

It’s all so stupid, but you write it down anyway. Stuff she’d like, stuff she wouldn’t like. Not her name, never her name. You can’t bear to say it out loud, not even spell out the letters without bursting into a fit of sobs. What’s the point, anyway? Not like she’s here to answer her own name anymore.

Still, you keep writing. Every day, at least something goes down in that little brown notebook. You’re the only one who reads it. Mr. Grice refuses to, says it’s for your eyes only. Falco sometimes shares what he’s written to his brother, but only when the two of you are alone. He has a little brown book of his own, same shape and size too. Always keeps it in the first drawer of his nightstand, same place you keep yours.

The days crawl by. Every breath hurts less and less. Slowly but surely, you wonder if you’re actually getting better.

I thought of you today. The kids wanted to stop in a bookstore during our shopping trip so I let them. They can be so eager and hyper when they want to be. (Why can’t they be like that when it comes to their chores?)

They both went for the bookshelf in the far corner. Books about the world; about weapons, inventions, plants, animals, experiments, I couldn’t keep track of how many there were. And the kids just sat there for hours, leafing through book after book. I ended up leaving just to drop off the groceries at home before heading back to pick them up. And when I got there they were still poring over those dusty, wrinkled pages.

You would like the bookstore. It’s on the smaller side but it doesn’t feel crowded. It’s got a few benches for people to sit and read for a bit, and there’s a café right next door too. But when I told Levi about it he got a little snippy; I think he’s jealous, his tea shop will always be superior.

He’s doing okay, I know you’re probably worried about him. His leg still gives him trouble but he’s getting better every day. He gave me a job after the shop opened a few weeks ago. Right now I’m just cleaning off tables and fixing up pastries in the back. Gabi handles inventory with Levi (she’s actually pretty good at it) and Falco takes care of the customers up front. He has the best attitude out of all of us, I think. The job is a bit boring sometimes but it beats killing Titans, using ODM gear, being a soldier

Never mind. I’ll write more later, I have to go for now. I’ll be back.

It’s really warm today. I keep thinking about that summer we spent in Krolva, in 848. You kept hunting for strange plants and flowers in the forest and had me and Moblit chasing after you all day! But you didn’t stop, not even when Levi threatened to knock you out and haul you back to base.

Sometimes I can still see Erwin’s smile, hear Mike and Nanaba’s laughter, feel the light summer breeze against my face.

I can still remember the way you said my name. I miss hearing the sound of your voice.

For the first time in a long while, you wake up with a smile on your face.

Your cheeks are stained with tears, still. You haven’t gone to sleep silently once in the past six months or so. Always stuffing your face into the pillow, muffling your sobs, praying neither Levi nor the kids hear you being so pathetic.

Your head is pounding, throat tight but chest feeling lighter than ever. You have to write it down, you don’t wanna forget, don’t forget—

The notebook is resting on your dresser. Your hands still shake when you reach for it, almost clatters to the floor when you try to pick it up. The pen leaps from your trembling fingers. The first words you write are barely legible, but you don’t stop writing for anything.

I had a dream about you last night. I can’t remember everything but I know you were in it and you were still alive smiling.

Still had both eyes, silly girl.

None of our comrades were there; no Levi, Moblit, or Mike. Just me and you, sitting on the rooftop of the old Survey Corps base, watching the stars twinkle above us. Your arm was so warm against my shoulders. Your messy hair tickling my cheek. You were laughing about something, I can’t remember what. But you looked so happy, so carefree and joyful. You haven’t looked that relaxed in years.

You whispered something in my ear, and my throat exploded with laughter. You held me close, lips brushing my cheek, eyes shining in the glowing moonlight.

You were happy, so I was happy.

But then I woke up, you were gone, and I was cold again.

Summer’s almost halfway over. The tea shop has been busier, Levi seems to enjoy the success. He’s still not very sociable but he’s learning to be more pleasant with the customers. They’ll keep coming back if he’s not rude to them all the time.

The town is expanding. Onyankopon thinks one of the nearby cities will start offering jobs, either railroad work or seamstress positions. A lot of factory jobs will start coming back too, and they’ll pay well. He says I could apply, just to keep my hands busy. Says it’s good to get out of the country once in a while.

Still undecided, I’d be going alone. Levi refuses, he hates the idea of city living, and he has the tea shop to worry about. The kids would stay with them; Gabi doesn’t like the smell of smoke, and Falco wouldn’t go anywhere without her. I can go, I don’t have anything tying me down.

What do you think I should do?

Four weeks left. It’s getting harder and harder to keep writing. I thought it would get easier, like Falco said. But I still feel that horrible pit deep in my chest. A weight that’s making it harder to breathe every day.

I don’t know what to do. I’m a burden. I can’t do anything on my own anymore. It’s always Levi or Onyankopon who’s there to hold my hand. Always Gabi and Falco to bring me back, remind me I have to keep living, to keep my head out of the clouds. But sometimes I wish I could run away. Leave it all behind. Maybe that city idea doesn’t seem so bad.

I wish you were here with me.

August 22nd. Two weeks to go.

Levi’s been quieter nowadays. Onyankopon isn’t as eager when he’s talking about the recovering towns and cities. Even the kids are more solemn than usual.

Still hoping this is all a bad dream. That I’ll wake up and you’ll be at my side, smiling and laughing like you do. Not a single care in the world.

The calendar is torn to shreds, left on the kitchen table for everyone to see. Gabi is utterly silent, a far cry from her usual loudmouthed self. Falco is quick to pull her aside as you storm past them, down the hall and into your room, slamming the door with a thud.

Burying your face in your hands. Chest wracked with sobs. Throat burning as her name rips itself from your mouth.

Hanji.

Stop it.

Your back hits the wall, knees buckling beneath your weight. Nails tear at the roots of your hair, scraping down your cheeks, eyes growing warm even though you keep them shut.

Hanji.

Another scream, you throw yourself against the wall. Your shoulder collides with the bookcase, but the pain doesn’t help. Nothing helps you anymore, not even writing in that shitty little book—

Someone’s calling your name on the other side of the door. Tiny fists pound on the wood; the knob twists and turns in vain. You made sure to lock it after coming in here.

Stop it. Can’t they see you want to be left alone?

Alone. You’re all alone now. You have no one left.

No parents, no children, no comrades…

And no other half.

Hanji.

“Stop it!” But you can still hear her name, swirling around in your head, a chorus of a thousand voices.

Hanji, Hanji, Hanji.

“Leave me alone!”

Something shatters against the wall. Your palm stings with something fierce, a shadow of red seeping from the skin.

The book, the book, where is it? Where did you put it?

There it is—right on your bed where you left it last. You’re scrambling over broken glass to grab at it, bloody fingers clutching the pen stuck between the pages. The tears are hot against your cheeks. Hurt like nothing else, not even the pain in your chest.

And they just keep on coming as you keep on writing.

Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go? Why did you have to kill kill yourself like that?

We could’ve handled it. Without your help. Maybe if you’d let us you’d still be alive with me. If you’d just trusted me—why didn’t you trust me? I trusted you, why didn’t you return the favor?

It’s your fault I’m like this now. I was fine before but then you fucked it all up.

Did you think you were some kind of hero? You’re not. Going out in a blaze of glory? Selfish asshole.

You’re not. You never were. You left me and now I’m alone and I hate

I hate you.

I hate you I hate you I hate you didn’t have to leave me but you did and now I hate you I can’t believe I love loved you how could I ever love someone so selfish fuck you so selfish

I HATE YOU

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DIE WHY AREN’T YOU HERE WITH ME ANYMORE WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU LEAVE TO MAKE YOU GO WHY WHY WHY

I STILL HATE YOU

Levi finds you hours later. Sitting on the floor at the foot of your bed, hands trembling against your knees. The book is lying halfway across the room. Must’ve thrown it earlier.

He heaves a sigh, dragging his hand across his scarred face. And despite the ache in his leg he still kneels down to your level, taking a seat beside you against the bed. Wrapping up your hands in one of the spare shirts you tore from the dresser just minutes before.

“Brats were worried,” he finally says, and he sounds so fucking tired. There’s an inkling of guilt blooming in your chest. Such a burden to him, as always. “Said you’d run off and started crying.”

“…So?”

He rolls his eyes, focusing on your bloodied hands. They’re dry now, and he makes a sound of disgust in the back of his throat.

Eventually he pulls you on your feet, leads you to the washroom and runs your hands under the warm water. He wraps up your hands in some clean bandages; over his shoulder you can see two sets of eyes staring at you from down the hall. One brown, one hazel.

“Quit beating yourself up like this. That’s not what she died for, brat. And don’t ask me,” he snaps when I open my mouth, “what she died for. Because you and I both know the answer to that. …So don’t make me say it.”

You’re still blubbering like a child, fat tears rolling down your cheeks, splashing onto the clean bandages around your hands. Levi sighs again before pulling you in close, one arm looped around your shoulders. His chest is warm, heart strong against your palm.

But it’s nothing compared to hers—and the thought makes you cry even harder.

“I get it.” His lips are warm against your forehead, hand cupping around the back of your head. “I miss her, too.”

You’re not sure when he makes you leave the washroom. But once he does he brings you down to the kitchen, giving Gabi and Falco each a pat on their heads. You give them a smile, tears still fresh in your eyes, before gathering the torn pieces of the calendar in your bruised hands.

Maybe you can fix this. It’s the fifth of September, after all. Not a day you want to forget just yet.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I swear on my life. I wanna rip those pages out but I’ll lose the other letters and I don’t want to lose them like I lost you.

I don’t hate you. You’re not selfish, you never were. I know you did the best you could as Commander of the Survey Corps, with the incredible weight on your shoulders. Your main priority was always keeping us safe and giving us hope.

I know why you left that day. But I wish you hadn’t left me behind. I could’ve gone with you, helped you out that day. We could still be together dead or alive.

I love you. I wish I could’ve said it when you were still alive with me. I wish I could say it to your face instead of writing it down in a dusty old notebook.

I love you. I miss you. I wish I could see your smile one last time. Hear your voice again. See the beautiful shine in your eyes.

Because I love you, and I always have. Maybe someday I’ll see you again and tell you face-to-face. Maybe by then I won’t be such a coward.

Hope you enjoy your birthday up there.

Every day brings something new. Smells, tastes, sounds, even the wind outside is different every day. People passing each other hour after hour, car horns filling your ears, the sting of smoke deep in your lungs; it’s easy to get lost in the atmosphere.

You take it in stride. Onyankopon is standing there, holding out his hand, ready to guide you deeper into the city. He’s offered to carry your suitcase but you insisted you do it yourself; too many memories are stuffed in between the clothes inside.

You suck in a breath and take his hand. A little awkward, with a suitcase in your other hand, and the old tattered notebook resting in the crook of your elbow. But the damn thing has already wormed its way into your heart, no way are you leaving it behind now.

A tight swallow, a soft smile from Onyankopon, as you let him lead you towards the next chapter of your life.

City life isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It’s busy and crowded but it keeps me looking forward. No time to dwell on the past here. Maybe that’s why Onyankopon was so adamant about me living here.

There’s a bookstore here, much larger than the one back home where Levi and the kids live. It pays well, the owner’s nice, and she lets me borrow some of her own books from her personal collection from time to time.

She wears glasses too—not as cute as yours, though.

I try to visit Levi and the kids every other weekend. Gabi and Falco come to visit once in a while but Levi always stays behind. Blames it on the bad leg but we both know the truth. Too many bad memories of Mitras has made him wary of crowded cities.

But I like it. I have my own apartment, right next door to Onyankopon’s, with a balcony and a slew of potted plants. Onyankopon says some people like to name their plants just for the fun of it. The two sitting on the windowsill are Sawney and Bean. (You’re welcome, silly girl.)

It’s hard work but I’m getting better. I don’t dread writing in this book anymore. I can think of your smile without bursting into tears. For now I’m content to sit back and enjoy city life, until whatever god watching over us decides my time is up.

I promise to write soon; have to head to work now. I’ll be back.

It’s been a year since you left me. I still want to see you again.

Onyankopon and I are heading into town for a few days to visit Levi. He says he doesn’t need help around the shop but he never complains whenever I show up at his door. Sometimes I wonder if he feels obligated to put up with me. If he thinks you’ll haunt him forever if he turns me away. That sounds like something you would do, silly girl.

I had another dream about you last night. Right after the celebration for Shiganshina, the night before the expedition to reclaim Wall Maria. We were laughing and drinking and sharing old stories—but we weren’t alone. Erwin and Levi were there. So was Moblit, and by some miracle, so were Mike and Nanaba.

I hope we’ll all be together again soon. I hope they’re all watching us, waiting to see what we’ll do with this new world we’ve forged for ourselves.

I know you are. You’re always watching, aren’t you?

I have to go now, or Onyankopon will head out without me. I’ll let you know how Levi and the kids are when I come home.

Miss you more every day. I hope I’ll get to see you again soon. Until then, I’ll just have to keep writing these silly little letters. I think you’d like them anyways.

See you later, Hanji.

It’s bright when you open your eyes. Too bright, a soft breeze kissing your cheeks, nose scrunching up as you shield your face with your hands. Funny, you don’t remember leaving the window open when you fell asleep. Or sleeping outside, for that matter.

You’re lying in the grass, a bed of wildflowers sprawled beneath you. There’s a forest at the edge of the valley, close enough for you to see the shadows of animals spilling across the trees. The sun is warm on your skin, so bright and beautiful, not a single cloud in the sky.

Almost too good to be true.

Is this it? Have you finally reached the end of your line? All those days with Levi, Onyankopon, and the kids, moving from town to city for work, seeing what little of the new world you could for both you and your other half…

Has your time finally run out?

“Hey, over here!”

Your blood freezes in your veins. A shadow crosses yours in the warm sunlight. A heavy cape blows in the wind, a dark green to match the forest beyond the meadow.

A pair of wings splashed against the fabric. Messy brown hair tied up haphazardly. Shiny glasses reflecting in the sun. Warm brown eyes that remind you of home.

“I was wondering when you’d get here. It’s been kinda lonely, I have to say…”

Hanji Zoe is standing right there in front of you, looking as radiant as ever. No scars or bruises to be seen, nor the black patch over her left eye. No burns or charred fabric on her body.

She looks…happy. Safe, content.

Alive.

“…Dumbass,” you finally find your voice, rushing into her outstretched arms. “You had me worried sick! Are you hurt? Can I do anything for you? I swear, I won’t let you go anywhere alone ever again! I’ll be right there by your side for as long as you—”

“Hey, hey, hey, come on now! You’re gonna make me blush with all that sweet talk!”

But you can’t stop yourself. And before you know it you’re sobbing into her chest, arms wrapped tight around her wrist, feeling the soft b-bmp of her heart against your ear.

“Love you, you know that? I love you, so please don’t leave me again…”

You’ll say it over and over, as many times as she wants to hear it. But for right now she’s silent, her arms resting around your waist and shoulders, tugging you in for a bone-crushing hug. Her messy hair is tickling your nose again, her smile could rival the sun in the sky. She shakes her head and lets out a laugh, before pressing a warm kiss to the apple of your cheek.

“I won’t ever leave you again, alright? I’m sorry about that, I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t mean to leave you like that…”

You hold her tighter, knocking her down into the wildflowers below. She lets out a real laugh this time, hair sticking out like a halo above her head, palms against your cheeks. For the first time in months—no, years—your chest feels whole again.

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay, I promise, it’s okay…”

A comforting silence washes over the two of you. It’s so warm right here, in this little meadow of your own, surrounded by a thousand wildflowers. She’s finally safe in your arms, after all these years, and you are never letting her go ever again.

“…I love you, Hanji.”

“I know,” she answers with a smile that makes your heart soar, “and I love you too.”

[lesbianklance]

klance debate no8: when did each one develop feelings for the other? discuss

in my opinion: okay here we go

lance: im a firm believer that the entire rivalry was him not understanding what he felt for keith. he had a crush on him ever since the garrison he was infatuated with him and he took it as hatred and jealousy. there might have been some jealousy there too of course. maybe he didnt understand what it meant because he was his first real crush/or he was just coming to terms with his sexuality. i think he truthly believed it was a rivalry and in s3 he started to get closer to keith and started seeing parts of him he never saw before. after becoming his friend and then having him leave after he realised how much he missed him in s4-5. so he realised his feelings for keith were romantic around s5-s6 aka while he was gone or maybe when he came back (all cool bigger and grizzled you cannot tell me that was not bi panic what heterosexual guy calls his bro cooler bigger grizzled???) it all came back to him. he pushed it away and maybe during the space road trip he actually had time and accepted it

keith: i think this one is more complicated. i think he genuinely didnt remember lance from the garrison (check klance debates no6). all he knew about lance was that he started a rivalry randomly with him so he just went with him. later on the bonding moment happened which changed everything for him because he saw the real lance for the first time. maybe at that point he had a fleeting thought like "oh shit he's beautiful" and felt a slight attraction. but after lance denied it happened he got hurt so he dismissed it entirely. then in s3 he got even closer to him and then he started having an actual crush on him. nothing too serious tho he could still somewhat ignore it but he still had a soft spot for lance. he helped him a lot and he was probably his first best friend his age. he was however busier with other stuff so he focused on that. during s4-5 maybe he found himself missing lance in a different way than the rest of them. now after this is where it kinda goes sideways cause the canon keith after s6.... yeah you guys know what im talking about. im gonna do a weird mix of canon and fanon so stay with me. maybe during the abyss he had time reevaluated his feelings and realised they were stronger than he thought. he came back and once again more important stuff going on. and then we go to the space road trip. now with fanon i believe they had more bonding going on with the whole team. klance could have had many convos and cleared out misunderstands from the past (the whole rivalry, keith leaving, how it was for lance when he left, what keith was going to do in the end of s4) keith developed even stronger feelings for lance. with the game show ep i dont buy for a sec his reason (very dick move of him ngl) i believe he panicked because he was scared that if he was gonna say good things about lance he would accidentally confess. and yeah at this point the feelings are strong

[uservillanelle]

KILLING EVE 3x03 ― Bus Scene

Its been over 24 hours now since episode 3 aired and yeah... I’m still very shocked and I’m almost sure I dreamed all of it. I mean, what are the odds KE would do something like this and give US, the clowns, everything we’ve ever wanted?!? So I decided to make a separate post about the bus scene, because HELLO, this deserves a separate analysis/reaction. It just does, so here we go.

Last week I was really struggling to imagine how everything would play out, only because it seemed like a VERY random place for both of them to meet. A bus? Really? Let’s not forget the fact that they usually meet in episode 5 for the first time each season. It’s basically a tradition which has been set by previous showrunners. So not only have them meet EARLIER, but in a bus makes it so... UNEXPECTED! I had to think it through, because I know there’s pressure for each showrunner to keep things fresh and new and Suzanne did just that. Like she picked the LAST place Villanelle and Eve would meet and that’s soo surprising and shocking to us AND to Eve.

Villanelle just got the postcard for her next target in London, she travels there and next thing you know, she’s looking for a perfume. Now this is soo extra and sooo Villanelle and the fact that she’s looking to have a custom made perfume so she could meet Eve SENDS ME! 

How did Villanelle know Eve was taking buses, which one she was taking and at what time? Obviously, she stalked her AGAIN. Instead of doing her job, finding the target, she goes to London, probably spends few days there searching for Eve and preparing FIRST and only then after the intense row with Eve, THEN she goes after her target. Love comes first, job later. Gotta stan. And in the middle of that she has the nerve to say “I’m not here for you” sure, sweetie, whatever you say. 

Okay, so before I was thinking of HOW they would play it out. How their fight would be carried out and honestly after seeing it... that was exactly how and I can’t imagine now any other way they could’ve done it. Everything about the scene was just... chef’s kiss. Suzanne, Laura - sign me up for S4 already!

My jaw LITERALLY dropped when I saw Villanelle walking up to Eve in that bus, while swaying due to the movement and wearing that SMUG smile over her face... jesus, I need HELP! How dare she... and I don’t think due to all of the craziness and intensity Eve notice just how fucking hot Villanelle looked.. or maybe she did. 

The fact that Eve was texting Niko for the 100th time until she lifted her head up and spotted Villanelle and next thing you know she forgot everything about Niko and went to fight AND kiss the love of her life is just... VILLANEVE IS ENDGAME YOU GUYS!

Soo Villanelle did NOT expect Eve to attack her like this, because have you seen her OFFENDED hilarious face when Eve did?! I DIED several times, yet there’s something important that needs to be mentioned.. Villanelle didn’t hurt Eve. She didn’t punch back when Eve literally was hitting her with all her might going nuts. Villanelle knew full well Eve’s having an intense tantrum so she handled it like a pro and really, with minimum defence she only shoved Eve around a bit only to show WHO is in charge there. I mean... the way she grabbed Eve and started shoving her, or more like CARRYING her to the end of the bus while smirking/laughing at her only shows just how CONFIDETN she is about herself and that she was actually enjoying seeing this crazy side of Eve.

Also. THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. I gotta say.. in this scene in particular it worked soo damn well! I mean, Eve being shorter and Villanelle EFFORTLESLY handling Eve as if she was some child who’s having a tantrum is SOMETHING ELSE! 

Now the power play... we all know Villanelle is a TOP, it’s a fact. Get over it. And like... the way she pushed Eve down on the seat and climbed on top of her only to tell her to SMELL HER which basically means “Admit I’m powerful” “Admit I’m the TOP here” is completely another level for me... because how can you NOT kiss her in that moment?! And she WAS powerful, she’s clearly physically stronger than Eve, BUT.. as soon as Eve kissed her all that power shifted back to Eve and just like that Villanelle gone SOFT™ for Eve.... It’s what I love. I love one powerful badass bitch right until her girlfriend touches/kisses her. 

Okay, so I’ve been seeing people say that Eve kissed Villanelle to have her let her guard down. Yes, it probably is the case, but I also think she couldn’t help it. They had several moments like these when they were face to face and sooo painfully close and neither of them did anything and like.. I think the tension was building up ever since and this time... she just went for it and this way admitted her feelings towards Villanelle. But at the same time by doing so she gained the power back from Villanelle and not only left her completely dumbstruck but gave that intense HEADBUTT as a wake up call for both of them and US. I mean... I still can’t believe it happened... it had to be a dream and it was going so well.. until Eve woke all of us up, including Villanelle, who obviously was too overwhelmed to stick around and decided to get off the bus ASAP.

I just gotta say... the way they handled the kiss was PERFECT! This is no ordinary romantic couple having their first kiss, okay... this is VILLANEVE, OUR VILLANEVE having their first kiss and it’s crazy.. it’s intense and above all... its SURPRISING AS HELL. To everybody... and that’s how intense and shocking that both Eve and VIllanelle are STARING at each other, completely taken back by what is happening... because neither of them really expected it and neither did we and it’s happening... they are kissing and they hardly can comprehend it.... while at the same time neither of them wanting to give in and let go of the CONTROL both of them crave... like... JESUS! I have a feeling we might get an actual, way more emotional kiss at the end of the season and I am not prepared... 

Now the soundtrack... Strange Effect by Unloved is perfect choice.. I mean ALL Unloved sounds are sooo unique and amazing but THIS... I haven’t heard this one before and I wouldn’t be surprised if they created this song for THIS exact scene... and I’m all about it. Truly. The lyrics described the scene AND both of their feelings sooo damn well and they didn’t even have to say a word. That’s how powerful songs can be when they are used PROPERLY in a show. Their minds....

I know, I said it plenty of times already but I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE IT HAPPENED. like... the twitter fanbase was LITERALLY betting money on whether or not they will kiss this episode and I was like... COME ON, it can’t happen. I’m not going to be this clown all over again.. I can’t and it can’t possibly happen because it’s way too soon?! We literally waited for over 2 years, almost 3 years for a kiss and for some reason it feels like it’s too soon? Because we are not used to seeing them meet this early in the season and I’m like... I’m in utter shock and no matter how many thousands of times I watch the scene and the kiss... a part of me refuses to believe it’s real because... it’s too good to be true and they actually did it and... if it wasn’t canon before, Villaneve IS now. And only thinking about this... makes me want to cry. We got everything we’ve been waiting for... and it was only their FIRST kiss... yeah, I’m not going to survive this.

The post-bus scene and Eve watching Villanelle watch HER drive off is such an amazing way to conclude the scene... Vilanelle’s hopeful expression which is filled with wonder and then excitement as she can’t help but smile remembering what just happened is just... she is truly in love and NO ONE can deny it. I mean at this point just like Suzanne said... Villanelle will only want Eve MORE and I. AM. HERE. FOR. IT. Also Eve’s reaction... she might not be smiling right now, but she’s realizing what she did and that it’s too late to go back and she doesn’t really want to think/talk about it since it’s TOO MUCH (same Eve, same) but as soon as she gets back home and finds Villanelle’s bear with the recording... she finally GIVES IN and admits that yes, she WANTS Villanelle to be there. And let’s admit it... we know perfectly well just how the episode ended.. with Eve listening to Villanelle’s voice over and over again... closing her eyes and the rest is up to your imagination....

So overall... this scene made the entire episode soo much greater and other than that, we got PLENTY of Villanelle’s outfits, AT LEAST 7 this episode alone and I cannot handle it. Not only that.. we also got Villanelle and baby scene and her scaring Konstantin to death and their silly conversation which turned out to be a lot more complicated and serious than Villaenlle originally intended it to be. But more about all of it later in my upcoming review! 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I know this is very broad but what are your favorite “love confessions” fics? No established relationship. I’ve read so many slow burn fics that are a million chapters but I really want to find some relatively shorter ones :) Specifically ones that are in a “normal” universe(no fantasy, sci-fi, historical, etc.). Can be post S4 or anywhere in the timeline!

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh, I have a tonne of Love Confession fics, and I’m gonna use this opportunity to make the Part 4 list <3 I tag and word count all my fic recs, so you can file through them and hopefully you’ll find stuff you enjoy! <3 Most of all of my Love Confession fics are non-Established Relationship fics, so you’re all good!! 

Love you Nonny, and as usually, Lovelies, add your own fics if you have any! <3

LOVE CONFESSIONS PT. 4

See also:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Platonics & Domestics Pt 2 / Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 / Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 5 / Love Confessions, Slow Burn & Dev. Rel. Pt. 2 / Established Relationship Pt. 3

Love Confessions Pt. 3

Promise of Sussex by LittleLongHairedOutlaw (T, 705 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Angst, Pining, Ambiguous Ending) – John tries to keep Sherlock conscious after he's been shot on a case.

I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Santa Knows by Itsallfine (T, 1,719 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Matchmaking, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock and John both get exactly what they want from the Yard's secret Santa exchange. Pure holiday fluff.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Alchohol / Drinking, POV Second Person Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Armchair Sex, Fluff, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w. 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) –  “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone's physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn't think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn't hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

The Healing Touch by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 2,307 w., 1 Ch. || Caretaking,  Domestic Fluff, Stroppy Sherlock, John Loves Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sofa Cuddles, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock's broken his foot and he's becoming unbearably stroppy. Good thing John has the healer's touch... ;) Part 3 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Closeted by Sexxica (E, 2,762 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped in a Closet, Panicking Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Coming in Pants, Awkward Conversations, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending) – An improvised hiding spot and a bit of accidental voyeurism leave John and Sherlock in an awkward position.

Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it's time to act.

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn't. A history of the boys, in food.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bed Sharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year's Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing.You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year's Kiss

Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, First Time, Jealous Sherlock, Music / Sherlock’s Violin, Present Tense, Frottage) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Pillow Talk by scullyseviltwin (M, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angsty Fluff, PIllow Talk, Bed Sharing, Worried John, First Time Morning After, Soft Sherlock, Sexuality Discussion, Love Confessions, Kisses and Cuddles) – John has been looking at Sherlock for ages, it feels like.

Welcome Home, John by slashscribe (G, 5,504 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardness, Stabbed Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Panic Attack (Sherlock), Self Esteem Issues, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When John moves back to 221B, he thinks he’s the broken one, but after a while, it becomes clear that he might not be correct.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood Crossover ||  Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Bridges by sussexbound (M, 6,602 w., 1 Ch || Post-TLD / S4 Fix It, Love Confessions, Mending Relationships, Moving Back In, Pining Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Past Abuse, Shaving) – The silence between them is deafening, interrupted only by the hum of the traffic outside, and the soft click-clunk of the plastic cups Rosie is playing with on the floor beside them. It is the first time they have been alone together, since Sherlock’s birthday. It’s only been two days, but it feels huge, important, like there is a precarious bridge stretched out before them both that they need to at least attempt to traverse.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

where the good things grow by anchors (M, 7,066 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Magical Realism, Gardens, Tea, Friends to Lovers) – "I have a magic garden." As come-ons go, John's heard worse.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn't even noticed. Right...?

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He'd thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he'd grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres.The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

The Very Unlikely Existence of a Flightless Bird in a Tuxedo by cwb (E, 8,829 w., 1 Ch. || Poetry, Penguins / Animals / Zoos, First Kiss / Time, Blow / Hand Jobs, Sleepy Cuddles, Endearments, Friendship / Love, Adorable / Sleepy Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock Can’t Say Penguin) – A case at the zoo reveals something John finds cute about Sherlock. A conversation ensues, and so does happy endings.

Unwasted by patternofdefiance (E, 8,966 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3 / S3 Fix-It, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Angelo’s, Fluff, First Time, Anal, Cum Play, Flashbacks to ASiB, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Bottomlock, Cuddles, Multiple Orgasms, BJ’s, Bed Sharing) – John finds it three months after he's moved back. He's on the hunt for something to make for dinner, is scrounging through the cupboards, when he happens upon the graveyard of pasta boxes Sherlock still seems to create when left to his own devices. Behind seven boxes of pasta, all almost completely empty, is a dark-glassed bottle, with a paler coat of dust.It's unopened. John's face falls slack when he sees it, instantly recognises it, and for a long moment he just stands and looks at it.

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound (E, 9,716 w., 2 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss / Time, Anal, Cuddling, Scars, Captain John, Kissing, Switchlock) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary's death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It's too late, now, for the things he first denied before he'd ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he's about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it's not as late as he thinks it is. Part 1 of Lock and Key

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

Let's Make a Bed Out in the Rain by theimprobable1 (M, 17,664 w., 11 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, First Kiss, Unrequited, Jealous Sherlock, Protective Sherlock) – John is devastated after his long-term girlfriend leaves him. Sherlock helps him through it.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w., 1 Ch.  || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock's body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn't as sure...

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Romance, First Time) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing.Almost...magical.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w., 1 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate...

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Sentenced by SarahKnight (T, 44,777 w., 30 Ch. || Dev. Rel., Alternate S4 Canon, Drama, Angst, Pining, Feelings are Hard) – Virtual series 4 opener. Sherlock's in prison being targeted by a murderer, John's married to a pregnant assassin and Moriarty's back.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w., 12 Ch. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Non-Verbal Confessions Become Verbal, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || Alternate Future AU || , Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (E, 144,931 w., 31 Ch. || Changling AU || Slow Burn, Drug Use, Mentions of Child Abuse / Bullying, Mentions of Student/Teacher Relations, Uni-Age) – In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he's destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[dust2dust34]

Kale Chips (Olicity, S4, M)

A/N: A prompt request from @novelsandnerdiness​ for the Fic for Food Drive! The prompt was canon Olicity and “Wait, no, don’t take kissing away from me.” I had the idea to put this in Season 3.5, but I liked it in S4 oh so much better.

Summary: Set between 4x06 and 4x07. Oliver and Felicity steal a weekend to reconnect. Leaving the loft to Donna, they book a little house on the outskirts of town where Oliver plans to make her… kale chips?

(read on AO3)

She stuck her tongue out, for concentration. And balance. And sneakiness.

This hadn’t been the plan. She had come in here to start some coffee for after her shower.

And the universe just sort of handed her the opportunity.

Glancing over her shoulder to make sure he was still in the bedroom, Felicity climbed up onto the counter next to the bags of kale she had pulled out.

They’d run into a farmer’s market on the way to the rental house she found last minute. She had been excited, because Oliver’s best recipes came to him when they perused a market, his mind whipping out random bits and pieces of food knowledge she could not - and would not - understand. But he did. It had been hectic, to say the least, since coming back to Starling City - no, Star City. He hadn’t stopped cooking, but she missed those lazy Saturdays he spent fussing around the kitchen, trying new things, asking her to taste, and not just because he might have ruined something, but because everything he touched was culinary heaven.

It was one of the few things she missed about Ivy Town. She didn’t miss Ivy Town itself, but they had been different there. Oliver had been different. She didn’t regret coming back to Star City, and she couldn’t, not even if she tried. They needed the work they did, both of them, for different reasons.

But now they just needed to find a way to keep the them they had found in Ivy Town too.

Hence why they were at this little vacation house.

Especially after her not-so-small freakout on him. About their relationship, and her place in it.

So yes, she had really been looking forward to stopping at the farmer’s market, to watching him work, to going back to simpler times.

Up until Oliver said the words “kale chips.”

Right to her face.

“Not on my watch,” Felicity mumbled, maneuvering up onto the kitchen counter.

It was harder being totally naked. She was vividly aware of her bare ass sticking out in the air as she balanced on her knees. But it was worth it. Felicity inched to the left a bit so she could open the cupboard. There. Large bowls sat in a neat row on the top shelf, just perfect for stashing things behind. A trickle of guilt hit her as she started stuffing crinkling bags of kale behind the bowls, but then she remembered kale chips.

“Ugh.”

And she was leaving one bag behind - she wasn’t a total monster. There were oh so many better things he could make with a little bit of kale versus a metric ton of it for kale chips.

“There are just some things olive oil and spices can’t fix-”

“What are you doing?”

She stopped mid-motion, the last bag in her hand. “Uh… Nothing?”

“Nothing,” Oliver repeated slowly, his voice low and rough like it always was after he just woke up. She glanced back to find him stepping up behind her, boxer briefs low on his hips, hair skewed, a crease slanting over his cheek from the pillowcase. He looked sexy and gorgeous and rumpled… and annoyed. No, not annoyed. Confused. Maybe even a tiny dash of amusement. He definitely wasn’t pleased, that was for sure. He cocked an eyebrow at the bag in her hand. “Because it looks like you’re hiding kale in the cupboard.”

“Safe-keeping,” she blurted.

“You’re safe-keeping kale in the cupboard?”

Felicity grimaced. “I’m sleepwalking?” she offered. Nope, that sounded worse. And yet… “I mean, that would definitely explain the sight of your crazy naked girlfriend on the counter hiding a bunch of kale, wouldn’t it? That sounds way more reasonable and logical and that is exactly what is happening. No? Okay, well, that’s because this is a dream.”

“A dream?”

“Yep.” She turned to finish her task. “That’s exactly what this is. You’re dreaming-”

Warm hands grasped her bare waist and then he was lifting her off the counter.

She gasped. “Oliver-”

“This feels very real to me,” he grunted and somehow he had her turned around in his arms and tossed over his shoulder. Something primal fluttered in her stomach at the blatant display of strength, but Felicity still sputtered as she found herself face-to-face with the elaborate burn scar across his lower back. He grasped one of her ass cheeks as he walked back to the bedroom. “Oh, that’s very real.”

“Oliver!”

He tossed her onto the unmade bed. The bag of kale she still held flew free, sending the leafy vegetable scattering across the sheets. He climbed on top of her, using his bulk to nail her to the mattress. She moved to touch him in a small act of placation, but he grabbed her hands before she could and pinned them next to her head.

“Oliver-”

“What were you doing, Felicity?” he asked. Slowly. Decisively.

Sexily.

“I, uh, was…”

“Felicity,” Oliver whispered with a sexy rise of his eyebrow. “Talk to me.”

She was suddenly very aware of the hard press of his body against hers. Those thin boxer briefs did nothing to hide the bulge pressing against her thigh, and the sleepy look on his face in conjunction with dragging her name out really didn’t do her any favors. In fact, all the favor was for him as she found herself melting under his interrogation.

“Hmm?” he prompted as he dipped down and nipped at her jawline.

His breath razed over the tender skin of her neck, and then his lips were there, licking, nipping, teasing, finding her pulsepoint before working up to her ear. He sucked her lobe between his lips, his teeth making her shudder. Her nipples beaded and she arched her back, the pearled buds scraping over his scarred chest. He hummed his approval and sucked harder. Sensation washed through her and all she could manage was a little inquisitive hum.

“What were you doing?” he whispered into her ear, his tongue tracing the shell.

More noises. Sounds. Grunts. Whispers. She had no idea.

“Were you hiding the kale from me?”

Something unintelligible fell out of her.

“Felicity.”

“I… was, uh…”

He kissed his way over her cheekbone, her nose, her other cheek, down her jaw. His lips grazed over the corner of her mouth and she tried to turn to capture his lips with hers, but he evaded her. Felicity frowned as he kissed down her chin, then up… She tried to kiss him again, but he moved out of the way before she could. Something akin to begging was on her lips as she tugged on her hands where he held her fastened to the bed, but he didn’t let her go. And when she tried to capture his lips again, he moved away. Again.

“Kiss me,” she breathed.

“No.”

“Oliver.”

“What were you doing?”

The question was too confusing for her brain to process just then. Instead she lifted her head up off the bed to find his lips. All she got, though, was a sloppy, wet smack of her open mouth against his chin and then he was pulling away from her.

Felicity growled. “Kiss me-”

“Nope.” He dragged his lips along her jaw. Teasing her. Just when it was getting good, when he started sucking at the sensitive spot at the base of her jaw, he pulled back. “No more kisses.”

“Wait, no, don’t take kissing away from me-”

“Then tell me what you were doing.”

“I…” Felicity huffed. “I don’t like kale chips.”

He smirked. He actually smirked. “And?”

“And? What do you mean ‘and’?”

“I know you don’t like kale chips,” he said with a grin. “I was teasing you yesterday. I was going to make that kale pesto pizza tonight and then use the rest in a parmesan casserole tomorrow.”

“Oh,” she said lamely, her face heating.

Oliver chuckled. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice all that kale missing?”

“I hadn’t exactly thought that far ahead,” Felicity admitted and he laughed. “I guess I should leave the ideas to when I’m caffeinated, huh?”

“Probably a good idea,” he replied. He let go of her to frame her head with his hands. Felicity immediately wound her arms around his shoulders, snuggling in as he pushed his fingers into her hair. “Hey.”

“Hmm?” she hummed.

“As much as I loved the view when I walked into the kitchen,” he said and she flushed, “next time, just talk to me.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, running her fingers down the side of his face.

“Whatever it is,” Oliver continued, brushing hair off her temples, “we’ll get through it.”

Felicity stared into his eyes. He wasn’t talking about the kale, and they both knew it. They had mended the rift that had inexplicably opened up between them - the rift she had sort of made herself - but she could still see the lingering hurt and confusion that he’d fallen into the more she had pushed him away. She had done some damage here… and she’d just made it worse by hiding freaking kale instead of just telling him she didn’t like kale chips. Or talking about it to discover that he already knew.

“No more hiding,” Felicity said. “No more secrets. Of the kale variety, or of the this-is-freaking-me-out-and-I-don’t-know-how-to-talk-about-it variety.”

“Or of the hiding-it-for-your-own-good variety, like pretending there wasn’t email in Bali.”

Felicity grimaced. “I’m horrible.”

Oliver dropped a kiss on her nose. “You’re not horrible. You had good intentions.”

“I promise to talk to you,” she vowed.

“And I promise to talk to you,” he replied.

They shared a soft kiss.

And then Oliver shoved his hands underneath her with a grunted, “Hold on,” before hauling her up off the bed. She let out a little squeak, her insides warming as his muscles rippled under her hands. “Let’s hope you didn’t waste all the hot water during your kale thievery.”

“Oliver.”

He paused in the bathroom doorway, holding her close as he looked up at her.

Felicity sifted her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled and he tilted his head up. She read him loud and clear and pressed her lips to his. When he pulled back, he winked at her. “Shower sex and we’re good.”

“Oh, I think I can accommodate that.”

“And then you have to eat some kale chips.”

“Ew, no!”

His laughter - that rare, beautiful, gorgeous laughter that always made her heart clench, that she vowed to do everything she could to always hear it, including facing her own demons - echoed through the bathroom as they once again found each other.

[master-of-cosmos]

Imprint [Ninjago Fic]

apparently some people are calling this ‘whumptober,’ so you know what that means! entersroomhoppingonmyhighheels.gif

it’s quick oneshot-inspired-by-@rinas-ninjas‘ palette-challenge-art time ❤️ that stuff is right up my alley y’all don’t even know. anyway, this is also a bit of a thank you gift to @lloydskywalkers for always being so supportive of this fandom’s writer community and such an inspiration in her own work! i absolutely do not deserve all the love you’ve given TMS, so you completely deserve some post-s4 brotherly bonding hun 💚💚

content warning: there’s lots of blood and a very likely upsetting way it’s taken care of because of the way it’s described, so please don’t read if you’re under 13 or sensitive to these things!

~~~~~

Kai wasn’t exactly expecting things to go back to normal right away. The team could still laugh with each other and band together against an enemy like nothing changed, but it’d be naive to think that, once everything settled down, there wouldn’t be some hitches.

He just didn’t think Lloyd would be one of them.

It’s three in the morning, and he’s already awake. Rolling over onto his back, he stares up at the ceiling in the guest room he’s been staying in since they got back from Chen’s outright lousy island. He blinks a few times, wondering what pulled his brain out of his coma so early.

Soft - slow - footsteps pad down the hall outside. Right, it’s time for Lloyd’s patrol. His actual one today, apparently. He’s been randomly stealing everyone’s shifts after Anacondrai gang wannabes started cropping up, inspired by Chen in spite of what happened to him.

In spite of what Sensei Garmadon sacrificed to stop him. Weeks ago.

A whole month has gone by, and Lloyd still won’t talk to anyone about it, least of all Kai. And Kai, in particular, has barely been able to have a conversation with him about anything without the kid stuttering and finding something else to do that cuts off the interaction like an axe to his neck.

He knows perfectly well why.

Kicking off the blanket, he drags himself out of bed and slips on his sandals.

He’s got no one else to blame but himself that Lloyd’s scared of him now, so he let this go on for too long. He’s not sure what’s come over him about it, but at some point in the last few days, he decided he’s putting a stop to it, any act he can do at a time.

He has to show Lloyd that he can still rely on him. That he’s trustworthy and useful and not a screw up and worth more to the team than the shattered bathroom mirror says.

His hurry down the hall causes a yawning audience to trail him, Jay mumbling, “Where’s the fire?”

Lloyd’s about to step out when he makes it to the foyer. “Hey,” he calls.

Freezing, Lloyd tilts his head back a little, answering with a hesitant, “Yeah?”

Ignoring Cole and Jay behind him, Kai moves further into the room, mustering his nerve to say, “I can take your shift. If you want.”

“It’s fine. I got it,” he responds quickly as he turns to Kai. He wavers a little bit, and the dark circles under his wide eyes stand out in Zane’s reading light.

Catching Kai’s drift, Cole gently suggests, “Lloyd, maybe it’s better for you to stay in.”

“I…appreciate the concern, but this is something I need to do,” Lloyd asserts back, his jaw locked from annoyance.

It’s clear to Kai that Lloyd’s been using the patrols to ignore what happened to his dad. Maybe he’s trying to put off sleep, too. Both worried about that and absorbing Lloyd’s aggravation like a sponge, Kai huffs, “Look, dude, it’s obvious you’re tired. Just let me cover you for one night.”

“I said it’s fine. You don’t want to be here anyway,” Lloyd bites, hardly even looking at the others when he says it, and storms out of the dojo so fast that Kai can only stare as the door slams shut.

Oh.

Kai braces himself on the front counter, squeezing his eyes shut. That’s what’s wrong. They - he - left Lloyd all alone. Of course he feels like he has to do everything like that now.

Jay humphs a little and rubs his eye, heading back upstairs as he tiredly jokes, “Well, my shift’s always open.”

Following him, Cole pats Kai’s shoulder. “Let the kid grieve in his own way. He’ll come around.”

Easy for you to say, Kai thinks. He has it on good authority that throwing yourself into work to avoid your feelings doesn’t help in the long run.

“Are you all right?” Zane asks from his chair on the other side of the room, the giant book he’s been chipping away at for three nights abandoned in his lap.

Straightening, Kai tightly answers, “Yep.”

“I am certain you will think of a way to help him,” he states, returning to his book.

Well, he already has. He races back up to his room and throws on his gi. With his comm-link in his ear, he doesn’t waste time running back downstairs. Instead, he leaps out the window as he summons his elemental dragon and takes off after his little brother.

He’s going to prove to Lloyd that he won’t just leave him on his own again.

~~~~~

A few miles out from his dad’s dojo, Lloyd rides his dragon along his patrol route and fights tears, scrubbing at his face every few moments. Stupid Kai, he thinks, but then he shakes his head, mumbling, “Stupid me.”

Somewhere inside, he’s happier than anything to have the team back together. He knew how much he missed them, but it feels a million times better actually being able to watch them work hard in the training yard, hearing them laugh at the breakfast table, everyone saying “good morning” and then “goodnight,” just like it used to be.

But he got used to his dad.

Lloyd can’t keep himself from running through scenarios that might have saved him, and some of those possibilities include things he would never voice, like not taking the challenge at all. But because he wouldn’t do something like that, Dad got to suffer the consequences.

A scream splits him from his thoughts.

“Where?” he asks the night, searching the ground. In a secluded alley, he spots what looks like three men corning a woman.

He sends his dragon into a dive for them, landing it between her and the attackers. It roars before he banishes it and readies his stance. “If you guys know what’s good for you, you’ll leave right now,” he threatens, lighting his power in his hands.

“It’s the Green Ninja,” one of them shouts to his buddies.

“Get him!”

The three drawing knives, they descend on him.

He cuts out the energy and dodges the closest man’s knife, noting the Anacondrai tattoo on his wrist. Grabbing the extended arm, Lloyd hurls the body at the next one. While they untangle themselves, he punches the third in the gut, grabbing his head when he doubles over and slamming his face on a nearby electrical unit.

The second kicks his kneecap from where he still lies on the ground, but Lloyd jumps back enough before the attack can fully connect. With a small yell, he blasts the man’s chest.

Left alone now, the first tries his luck again, charging at Lloyd with his knife held above his head. A high kick knocks it from his hand, and one more solid kick to his solar plexus takes him out.

With a stumble that he locks down on, Lloyd moves over to the woman crouched in the corner. “Hey, you’re safe now,” he says soothingly, extending his hand.

She looks up from her knees and stares at it before she takes it, her own hand trembling.

“It’s alright,” he consoles as he helps her stand. “Do you live around here?”

Wordlessly, she nods, clutching her purse close to her body.

He steps back to give her some space. “Do you need to call someone? Or, uh, I can take you there.” He accepts her careful step forward as an answer and turns around to leave the alley. Mostly to himself, he mutters, “I need to let the police know about these guys. Should’ve brought a rope or some―”

Normally, he’d never let anyone get the drop on him, especially not someone he could take without even looking, but Kai’s right. He’s tired. Distracted. Stressed and not keeping his guard up when he should, but how could he? She’s just an innocent person who needed help.

She’s not holding a switchblade, and that’s not his blood. It couldn’t be.

“It’s your fault,” she spits, circling around him. “You let those Anacondrai warriors attack my home. My children.”

Gasping, Lloyd backs against the wall the woman was just cowering against, his hand pressed to the throbbing fire in his side. “I-I’m sorry. We did―”

“Save it for your maker!” She steps over one of the men and kicks him, barking, “Get up.” The three of them groan as they comply. She hands her knife to the one who stands up first and orders, “Now finish it.”

Lloyd sucks in deeper breaths as he pushes himself to straighten. He can ignore the pain and pretend he doesn’t feel it long enough. With his teeth bared, he calls up another two energy orbs, warning, “Stay. Away.”

The man just smirks and keeps inching closer, so Lloyd pitches a sphere at him, knocking him clear out of the alley. Scrambling back to his feet, he squeaks, “Forget this,” and runs off.

Lloyd manages to re-energize his empty hand before the others get any more ideas, bending his knees and glaring, daring them.

“Yeah, I’m out. I didn’t sign up to kill him,” the second man says. The third follows after him.

The woman glowers at their retreat but makes no effort to stop them. Snapping her purse shut, she looks back at Lloyd, bitterly stating, “You may have this city worshiping you, but you don’t fool me.” And with that, she leaves him alone.

His energy orbs sputter out, taking his grip on equilibrium with them. The ground falls away like a tunnel as he staggers back a step, but he shuts his eyes and shakes his head sharply. He’ll be fine. He can get home and have this taken care of, no problem. He just needs his dragon.

Trying to summon it nearly sends him to the concrete. So he’s too freaked out to do that.

He can walk then. Find someone with a phone or something. The knife was pretty thin, wasn’t it? It can’t be bad enough that he won’t be able to walk.

One foot in front of the other. Not difficult. One step, next step, and then the next―

He gasps so hard he sees stars and has to catch himself on the wall. Restraining a scream in his throat doesn’t do much to chase away the incessant throb, but it helps the frustration building faster around his racing heart.

Flipping over, his back hits the wall. It’s practically the only thing holding him up, and that makes ice run down his spine.

He’s not as knowledgeable on anatomy as he should be, but he has a vague understanding that where she stabbed him is close to a cluster of nerves. On reflection, he instinctively twisted his torso just in time; she was probably going for his kidney or the giant artery beside it. A common target for someone who wants to cause pain.

Great, now he needs to know how bad it is.

He reaches around to touch the excruciating point under his ribs, hissing when his hand fumbles over it. Holding them up to the light of a distant streetlamp, he finds his fingers glazed in red, a mini pool of it in his palm.

A tremor’s already wracking his whole arm, and there’s warmth seeping across his lower back, stolen from his limbs.

He’s been injured and bled before, but this. It’s too much for him to deal with by himself. The pain, the fear, the knowledge of why all gather together behind his eyes and spill out as he murmurs, “Oh god.”

But there’s hope. He’s still got a spark of it. With the others home again, he has one last option.

Tapping his comm, he forces his voice to steadily enough ask, “K-Kai?”

His heart drops to his stomach when his brain promptly supplies, What if they  went back to sleep? Nobody’s listening. Even if he does hear you, the dojo’s miles away.

No one’s gonna be able to come for him. He’s in real trouble now, and it’s all because he was a jerk and didn’t let them be a team even though that’s the exact thing he wanted, and god, what’s Dad gonna think? Is he even in a real afterlife? Oh god, he’s never seeing him again. He’s gonna die out here, or some other day, and it won’t even matter―

“What’s up, Lloyd? You’re kind of staticky.”

He wants to laugh in relief, but the pain’s killing him enough, and as cloudy as it’s making his senses, he heard the worry in Kai’s voice despite the effort he used to hide it.

With his fleeting strength, he manages, “I-I need h-help.”

~~~~~

Ten minutes.

He was only ten minutes behind Lloyd.

Kai can’t hear anything outside his comm. He can barely see besides the blurry lines that are supposed to be streets he soars above. The only reason he knows Nya heard him when he told her to notify a hospital is because she commanded him to keep Lloyd talking.

“Yeah, and what’d he say to that?”

“Jeez. Gene was…s-so mad. Said..said he’d get me back f-for sure.”

“Tell me you got him first.”

“I-I tried, but I d-didn’t know where..to find…scor-scorpions.” He laughs at himself, but the sound chokes off with a gasp.

“Lloyd?”

“Are you close?”

“Yeah. Yeah, buddy, two minutes. Just sit tight.”

“A-awesome.”

“I know where we can get a couple.”

“What?”

“Scorpions. We can still get that jerk.”

“H-he’s nice…n-now…Remember? Don’t..be mean.”

“Right, yeah. We ruined a perfectly good bad boy, didn’t we? Too nice for your own good, Lloyd.”

Instead of answering, Kai just hears sniffling and measured groaning like Lloyd’s trying to control the pain.

He’s about to ask how he’s doing when Lloyd speaks up again. “Is…is that what’s…wrong with me?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you, man.”

“B-but if I was mean, then…then Dad might still―”

“Hey, hey, listen. None of that was your fault. Okay? Can you see me? I think I’m over the right street.”

It takes Lloyd a minute before he hums, “Mhm. F-fire…dragon.”

“Yeah, bud. I’m right here. You’re gonna be fine.” Kai doesn’t see him, though. It’s still pretty dark, and the alley’s crowded with junk.

A green orb floats up from beside a big power box.

Kai drops his dragon and banishes it just before they hit the ground, flipping off it to break the fall. He’s at Lloyd’s side in a near instant, looking him over where he sits against the square unit, one arm bent around his torso.

Bleary eyed, Lloyd smiles at him. “Y-you made it.”

“’Course I did.” He resists the urge to yank his hair out, sinking his tooth into his cheek instead. There’s blood all over the concrete, a smudged handprint on the brick wall. Lloyd moves his arm so Kai can see, and from what he can tell, the wound’s still bleeding. His gi has a jagged rip going down, like the attacker cut into him before she got the leverage needed to sink the knife in deep.

Immediately, he presses his hand to it, making Lloyd flinch. He tries so hard to be calm, but he can’t get the terror out of his voice when he demands, “God, Lloyd, why’d you leave it like this?”

“M’sorry,” Lloyd groans in a cracking voice, slumping forward.

Kai puts his other hand on his shoulder, noticing the abandoned hood and gi sash wadded in soaked piles. Swallowing his nausea, he alternates brushing Lloyd’s arm and hair, saying, “No, it’s alright, okay? It’s gonna be fine. Nya’s already got an ambulance on the way. They’ll be here any minute.”

Shaking his head, Lloyd gasps, “Too late. T-they’re gonna be―” Suddenly distressed, he huffs and whines, “Kai…”

Kai nudges him upright. “What? Tell me.”

Lloyd’s head lolls to the side and back against the metal box before he pushes himself to lean over on his elbow, grimacing. He tugs the end of his gi aside, exposing the injury. It’s the way he pinches his brows and further labors his breathing, his expression miserably expectant as his neck gives out on him, tears and beads of sweat bouncing off his face from the movement. It says enough.

“N-no,” Kai croaks. Stronger, he says, “Lloyd, no, I can’t do that to you,” standing as he recoils.

“I-I’m gonna…bleed―” He winces, raggedly continuing, “Bleed out..i-if you don’t.”

Kai yanks on his hair anyway, but he glances back at Lloyd.

His dark circles stand out worse, a sunken mask on his paling face, and his eyelids droop despite how he’s fighting to keep them open. With the arm he’s propped on trying to shake out from under him, he’s almost lying down, each shallow pant pushing him lower bit by bit.

And now that Kai can see it, he’s losing too much blood. It’s just leaving him in small yet constant pulses, four black rivulets dripping down his stomach and adding to the puddle on the ground.

He’s right. Why does he have to be right?

Kai takes Lloyd’s weight off his arm, wrapping his under it and along to his little brother’s back, and gathers the green cloth there in his fist to keep it out of the way. “Just― just hold onto me, alright? Don’t let go.”

Lloyd nods. His arms come up around Kai’s torso and across his shoulder blades, squeezing with all the strength he’s got.

His right hand free, Kai closes his eyes and ignites it.

Or, he tries to. It doesn’t respond instantly like it should, only giving off smoke. The consequence of his own reluctance.

Sensing the hangup, Lloyd mutters, “I can…handle it..pro-promise.”

Kai inhales, letting the air out slow. “You better.” He snaps his wrist again, the fire lighting up the alleyway. For a few extra seconds, he makes it burn hotter than he usually needs before he pulls the flames down to a dull orange smoulder in his palm. “Ready? On three.”

He’s not ready, and Lloyd tenses, burying his face in Kai’s shoulder.

“One. Two…T-three.”

For the second time, Kai presses his hand on the wound.

As promised, mostly, Lloyd toughs it out at first. He keeps the pain deep in his throat, but eventually the groan turns shrill, and then he’s screaming and struggling not to writhe.

Kai wants to scream with him, but he won’t. Maybe he can’t either. All he can do is hold onto Lloyd tighter as he tries to block out the sound under his hand.

He turns his focus to how the muscles in his back seize around Lloyd’s fists from the energy he’s started channeling on agonized reflex. He gets kneed in the ribs, too, and he’d lose his grip if the slick blood wasn’t burned away.

Burned. Burning. He’s burning his baby brother.

Why didn’t he think to heat up a knife or something instead? Why’s he using his hand for it? Why’d he let Lloyd convince him to do this at all? He should’ve just carried him to the hospital on his dragon, or better yet, he never should have let any of this happen.

“I’m sorry,” Kai yells, screwing his eyes shut. Just a few more seconds, just enough to make sure it’s cauterized fully. He can’t risk messing up because if Lloyd has to suffer for nothing, then he―

Kai’s gonna―

Lloyd loses his strength to keep screaming, and then Kai’s muscles relax only a fraction when the scrabbling limbs behind him fall slack.

Enough. It has to be enough.

Ripping his hand away, he crushes Lloyd in both arms, unable to stop rocking him or repeating apologies. Not just for this. He’s sorry for everything ― the betrayal, the staff, for leaving and allowing so much time to go by that it ended up leading to now.

Lloyd probably can’t understand any of it. He just hiccups while he cries, slowly quieting until he’s too limp in Kai’s hold.

The paramedics find them like that, but they’re all strangers, and one of them talks to Kai while another tries to pry Lloyd away from him. He’s gonna blast them in their throats if they don’t shut up and stop and get their hands away.

But then the Bounty’s sailing overhead, and Nya’s getting through to him as Lloyd’s taken to someone who can actually help a hell of a lot better.

He clenches his fists the entire flight over to the hospital, refusing to look at his own hands.

~~~~~

Kai gets an earful later about how ‘incorrectly’ he handled the situation, and Master Wu adds ‘proper field medicine’ to their training schedule, but ultimately, everyone hugs him and cries and are so thankful he’d at least ‘been there to do something,’ and he doesn’t remember a whole lot of it.

He knows the others have been worried for him now, too, though.

He hasn’t been able to eat anything cooked if he’s around while it’s being prepared. Zane picks up on that in record time and starts making oatmeal and cold-cut sandwiches for him instead.

Cole and Jay learn real quick that if they ask Kai for help with fire-related needs, then his powers won’t respond. Fighting is the only thing it’s felt like doing, and fight it does. They steer clear of him when he goes out to the training yard.

Nya keeps looking at him with a face that’s so sad, like she wants to help him but doesn’t know how, he can’t help it. He retreats to his room and hides under the blanket for hours until the world stops spinning and he can breathe without needing to think about it.

But Lloyd heals fast, so there’s that.

The cops want to track down the people who attacked him, but he refuses to help, muttering something like, “She’s a mom.”

That doesn’t stop Kai from trying to find the woman himself, but he has nothing to go on, and the cops have better resources. They catch her pretty soon after that.

He does have the power to scare other Anacondrai wannabes into never showing their faces again. He gets another earful for that, but it’s worth it to rest at least a little easier.

Things get better after Lloyd comes home, where Kai can see him and be reassured.

He seems better, too. He spends more time with everyone, participates in conversations, and doesn’t run away from Kai anymore.

The thing is, Kai thinks he should. Especially now.

The heat index today’s like a hundred and ten degrees. It doesn’t really bother Kai, but the others already went inside after training as much as they can stand. Lloyd’s not done sparring, though. Said he feels like he fell behind and wants to keep going for another half hour.

But it’s still really hot out for him, so he’s folding his shirt and setting it on one of the benches before he heads back over to Kai to resume their match.

And Kai isn’t sure what he thought would be there. He knew Lloyd had to have been scarred, but he didn’t know. It didn’t occur to him at all how it’d look.

Under Lloyd’s ribs, close to his lower back, it’s a reddened, indistinct patch of burned scarring surrounding a handprint.

It looks like a violation, like a betrayal of Lloyd’s trust and Kai’s job as the Green Ninja’s protector.

He practically collapses as he sits down on the packed dirt. He waves his hand dismissively and pants, “I’m done,” when Lloyd looks at him, confused.

His confusion shifts to narrowed worry as he glances towards the scar. Carefully, he says, “You saved my life.”

Kai pulls his legs in, one hand on his thigh while the other scrapes at his forehead. “I know…I know.” He ends up ripping at his hair, closing his eyes tight. “It’s just. Everything. All of it.”

After a second, Lloyd’s kneeling in front of him. He’s put his shirt back on and has that stupid, sad face that’s gonna send Kai packing. But he can’t leave because Lloyd catches onto his shoulder and says, “You can’t hurt me, Kai.”

“But I―” Kai’s already pounding heart speeds up, making him dizzy, because he did. He let them shackle Lloyd and steal his power and drop poison on him, and he’s alone. He’s bleeding. Kai’s burning him, so who’s to say he would have dropped the staff? “I’m―”

“Hey,” Lloyd interjects, shaking him once. “You. Can’t. Hurt me. Alright?” He harshly emphasizes the words, except they’re gentle, kind, more than Kai deserves, but if he can still have conviction like that, then Kai can try to accept it.

Eventually.

His head bows. He can’t get his heart to stop demanding to fly out of his chest. It hurts, it hurts, he’s sinking, and he wants to hide because this feeling won’t go away out in the open.

“Look at me,” Lloyd says, a beacon of calm. “Just breathe. In and out. Copy me, okay?”

He does. He feels completely stupid because whatever’s wrong with him is nothing compared to what he put his little brother through, but he looks up and matches Lloyd’s exaggerated breaths.

Minutes go by as the world melts away and rebuilds itself enough to steady him, Lloyd’s presence somehow a foundation for it.

Swiping at his eyes, Kai nods when he’s fine. He huffs out a short laugh, asking, “S-someone teach you that?”

Lloyd gives him a hand up and mumbles, “Yeah. Um, Dad did.”

“Oh.”

The floodgates open with that. Kai listens while Lloyd talks about Garmadon for the first time since his funeral, the conversation leading to shared stories and lessons the man taught them both and on to experiences the ninja had with him before Lloyd got to meet him.

He does mess up again, really soon actually, but at least this time Lloyd knows someone’s coming to save him.

~~~~~

overuse of adverbs and unbroken dialogue signals that this is a ‘doodle’ lol

and because it is, i didn’t feel up to writing much more – i just want to point out here that lloyd absolutely does internalize the fact that he traumatized kai, so jot that down

*pats their heads* these beans can fit so much angst in them!

[upstartpoodle]

Evens for the WIP meme ask? Thank you! ❤️

Hi, thanks for the ask! Since the number of WIPs I have are well into double figures, I’ll probably just choose a bunch of random ones for these out of the ones I’ve got on my computer.

2. Post a line from your WIP without context.

Once they had returned home, he had wanted nothing more than to head up to his room and hide, but his uncle’s iron grip on his upper arm pulling him into the drawing room had thwarted that wish. He hadn’t dared fight against the man. Uncle Cary had made it quite clear upon his arrival back from school that he expected to be obeyed in all matters, and George knew his future was far too uncertain to risk provoking his only remaining family member with displays of defiance. 

4. Describe the setting of your WIP.

Hmm, I think I’ll go for my JS&MN AU for this one, an extract of which I have posted here. So this is basically an AU set in the universe of the novel Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell--for anyone who might be unfamiliar with it, it’s a book (and a pretty decent TV adaptation) set in a regency England where magic was once frequently practised but has declined after the Raven King, a medieval magician who conquered the north of England with a fairy army, left his kingdom behind to return to Faerie. The fic is set in Poldark’s s1 timeline, so about fifteen/twenty years before the events of JS&MN canon, featuring Dwight, Ross and Francis as magicians, George as a fairy nobleman from a neighbouring Faerie kingdom, and Elizabeth as a magician’s wife whom George ends up taking an interest in.

6. Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

I haven’t been able to find it in any of the extracts I have on my computer, but I’m sure it’s probably there somewhere in one of my notebooks. Unfortunately the majority of those are in a box over three hundred miles away so I can’t really check through them ha.

8. What is your biggest challenge?

Actually getting anything finished. Honestly, it depends on the individual fic but for a long time it’s been writer’s block. My undergrad dissertation took a lot out of me and I wasn’t really in the mood for writing for a long time afterwards. S5 airing gave me a bit of a kick up the arse writing-wise though, so I’d say my biggest challenge at the moment is trying to figure out where everything goes in my super long post s5 AU where George gets shot by Hanson. At the moment I’ve just got loads and loads of random bits with only a vague idea of what order they go in and how they join up to each other, and it’s getting to be so long I just keep putting off planning it out properly. Also finishing that last chapter of The Cornish Way damn I can’t even remember when I last updated that I feel so guilty about it ha.

10. How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style?

Well, as I’ve already mentioned I have a whooole bunch of WIPs, but I always write in 3rd person (1st person grates on me, both reading and writing, for some reason--I don’t know why). I’ve got several multi-chap fics in the works, some short, some long. Most of my shorter multi-chap fics tend to alternate between Elizabeth’s POV and George’s, but my long post s5 AU will feature the majority of the characters’ POVs at some point, depending on when they’re needed, though since the fic is George-centric, his perspective is the main one. When it comes to my one-shots, they’re usually either from George or Elizabeth’s perspectives, sometimes both if it’s a particularly long one. I tend to lean towards using Elizabeth’s POV for one-shots for some reason, but there’s a fair few from George’s as well, and a couple of angsty ones told entirely from Valentine’s perspective.

12. Which character do you have the least in common with?

Since my post s5 AU includes Merceron, Hanson and Dr Penrose, I’m glad to say that I haven’t the slightest thing in common with any of those three. But if we’re talking about a main character, I’d say probably Ross. The only thing I have in common with him is a tendency to get fed up at parties ha.

14. Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

Not really--tbh, I’m not sure how many of them, if any, were given birthdays by WG. I tend to headcanon George’s birthday as being in October, but that’s about it.

16. What would your characters be for Hallowe’en?

Well, I’ve got a couple of WIPs set in the modern era which this could work for, but since one of them is a modern witchcraft AU (in which Elizabeth, Caroline, Demelza, Morwenna and Verity live together in Truro as a secret coven of witches, Francis is a melancholy ghost who haunts the building and they’ve never been able to exorcise, and George, their landlord’s nephew, is their baffled neighbour who only puts up with their weird shenanigans because he has a soft spot for Elizabeth), I guess that’s appropriately Hallowe’en-y ha. For that AU, I reckon Elizabeth would probably dress up as something kind of classy, like as an Ancient Greek lady or a medieval queen, something like that. Caroline would dress up as a witch, I reckon, for the sake of irony (Horace, of course, would have a complementary costume :P). Verity, I think, would make a cute angel, and one of those wood nymph/woodland fairy costumes would probably suit Demelza. Morwenna might dress up as a Hogwarts student or something like that, and Francis insists that since he is an actual, literal ghost, there’s no need for him to dress up. George, on the other hand, absolutely does not do Hallowe’en, but they still manage to drag him down from the flat upstairs, put a pair of little Devil horns on him and make him watch scary films with them. Which he hates every minute of. Absolutely. Totally.

18. What’s easier, dialogue or description?

It depends, but I generally find description easier than dialogue. When I have dialogue-heavy scenes to write, I generally write them out in my notebooks basically in script form so I can figure out where the scene is going and once that’s out of the way, I find it much easier to add all the description in around it rather than having to constantly stop to figure out what the characters are meant to be saying to each other.

20. Post a brief excerpt.

So there’s a whole load to choose from, but I’ve decided to go with this one, which is from a ghost Elizabeth AU I’ve been working on ever since the end of s4 and have been really struggling to get on with because there’s so much bloody angst in it ha :--

The days leading up to Christmas dragged slowly on, and with each long hour that passed, George found himself regretting his decision to allow their initial plans for the festivities to go ahead with ever increasing certainty. The Blameys were neither unkind nor insensitive—quite the opposite in fact; their presence seemed to restore some faint but much needed cheer to Geoffrey Charles, and the company of another boy near his own age had restored Valentine to a fraction of his usual liveliness—but he, who had never been a friend to Verity, and was not well acquainted with her husband or stepchildren, felt the constant pressure of their scrutiny, alongside the horrible awareness of his own inadequacy as their host, whenever he found himself in their company. Verity, in particular, had taken to sending him at frequent intervals, whenever she saw him decline a meal, or else stumbled across him staring up at Elizabeth’s portrait hanging above the mantelpiece in the drawing room, what he had come to refer to in his mind as Looks. Verity had always been a kind and well-meaning soul, but there was a distinct pitying quality to those Looks which he had come to both resent and despise. He could have far more easily borne it if she had scorned his conduct. Her pity, however, wounded what little care he could summon for his pride in the wake of Elizabeth’s loss—he had no need to be reminded of the wretched creature he was fast becoming every time he met her gaze.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, the morning of Christmas Eve came. It had snowed once again during the night, and upon seeing the unblemished blanket of white through the window upon waking, Valentine and young master Andrew had rushed outside, accompanied by the Blameys Senior and Junior and Geoffrey Charles, in order to enjoy it. As the young Esther, whom it had not taken George long to discover was somewhat reticent in nature, had elected to break her fast in her room, that, unfortunately, left he and Verity alone together at the dining table, save for little Ursula, who was playing quietly and contentedly with her own feet in her cradle beside his chair. At barely a few weeks old, however, she was not quite an accomplished enough conversationalist to distract Verity from engaging with him. With a barely audible sigh, George reached for a slice of toast despite his lack of appetite in a vague hope of fending off another Look which he was sure was on the verge of rearing its unwelcome head above the horizon.

“I am glad to see that the boys have regained a little of their usual cheer,” she spoke up suddenly, causing George to pause halfway towards taking a bite out of his unwanted toast; a glance her way confirmed that, despite his best efforts, he was being treated to what could only be described as a Look. “It is a terrible thing to lose one’s parent, no matter one’s age, and certainly not a burden one should face so early in life.”

WIP Ask Game

[ayankun]

real quick before I get into season 6

So this is my second time watching Season 6 and I’m p. excited.  This last week or so I’ve been dredging up bits and pieces, but most of it is a blur.  It seems the memories that lasted this whole year were mostly of the huge armored truck and the nonbinary character who works at *spoilers*’s tech startup.

I’m curious to see if the second time through it’ll settle in like it belongs.  I remember Season 5 really didn’t make any sense to me until I saw it again.

But really I’m just excited that in 11 hours I can watch the new stuff?!

But first, before I forget, here’s my last thoughts on Season 5.

So remember how I was surprised at Season 1′s structure, that it folded up nicely down the middle with some pretty tidy symmetry?

None of the other seasons do that.

Instead, I remember particularly strongly how jarring the end of the Ghost Rider arc was in the middle of Season 4.  And then again when the (what I’m calling) Kasius arc also wrapped up mid-season.

I’m not sure when I read about it, but it probably was circa Ghost Rider, that they’d intentionally decided on what I’m pretty sure they called “pods” of episodes, these seasons-within-a-season sort of narratives.

Season 2 sort of kicks it off, what with the race to Terragenesis taking eps 1-10 and the Afterlife/splinter SHIELD stories filling 11-22.  Then Season 3 has the monolith/Maveth mystery to start, followed by Hive & the Inhumans for the second half.  S4 is super poddy, obviously branded as Ghost Rider/Agents of Hydra, and S5 also splits neatly into future!Lighthouse and present day!Lighthouse.

Two points to make on this:

Kasius is such a rockstar villain that I feel really bad for Hale/Ruby/Talbot.  They’re so apples and oranges but having the highlight come first allows for unfavorable comparisons to be made.  It’s like asking any well-to-do Kree to compare Xandarian snail to oops all berries.

Good thing they’d had all this practice writing complete stories in 12 eps, since I’m hoping Season 6 (and obvs Season 7) will still feel as fully formed as their longer antecedents.

Anyway, that first point is my major point for S5.

S3 already feels like the second half of S2, and its internal halves are the most similar to each other as any of the other “pods,” so it’s not like people have a reason to go around saying “I liked the first half of the season waaay better than the second.”

(although I might.  I might say that, actually.  but not because the halves were branded separately from one another)

And S4, though the two halves are barely identifiable as coming from the same show much less the same season, they’re both good.  Robbie Reyes is perfect.  The effort to incorporate new MCU topics/aesthetic from Doctor Strange is great.  Robots who just want to be a real girl is my JAM.  All the Framework cameos really make my day!  And then Robbie Reyes comes back all deus ex machina (ironic) and saves the day, and

it makes sense that he does because the function and nature of the Darkhold was well established in part 1 and

it’s GREAT that he does because he’s perfect and we miss him.

Then here comes S5.  I really really respect so much about the creative decisions that took the story where it went (ie, outside Papa MCU’s sphere of interference), and getting to reuse the same set in a different context while minimizing “on-location” shoots is just technical and financial genius, okay. 

But there’s so much about the first half, in the future, that compels me waaaaaaay more than the gritty anger of the second half. 

Kasius, WOW what a villain.  Dominic Rains, everyone.  I have nothing unkind to say about the performance, the character, anything.  Impeccable.  Spectacular.  Perfection.

The mystery of the season opener!  We had the tag scene where Coulson’s “in space” and plenty of time to ruminate on the how and why, especially with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 coming out right as S4 ended and Thor: Ragnarok literally sizzling in the theaters at the same time as this season started.  They answer the question by the end of the episode, but not before several characters come up with and pursue several different theories, and that’s fun.

What a way to capitalize on the Inhuman storyline your show’s been about for years now, without forcing Papa MCU to contend with all this good work you’ve been doing.  Just go somewhere he can’t reach you (the future), and then un-write all of it anyway.  V. tidy.  Extra style points will be awarded.

LEITMOTIFS.  If y’all’ve seen BSG, then you know Bear McCreary is a master of the art.  But this season has so many good themes, my friends.  The Daisy/Quake theme that’s been knocking around for a season is here in full force, and Sinara’s is the best bad guy theme you could have wanted, and dearest sweetest Flint has the best great guy theme you ever heard.

Just, while we’re here.  Sinara.  She says nothing for episodes (it feels like, I wasn’t counting) and her first line is a scornfully growled “compassion.”  Give it up for Florence Faivre !!!  She hardly has any lines but you always know exactly what she’s thinking and what she’s about.  Sinara and Kasius have the richest on-screen chemistry of anybody on any show from any era fight me on this I dare you.

Mack’s coming down from his second life in the Framework, and that suuuuucks that these folks never have a moment to rest before barreling into their next story.  But he gets to be a father to Flint!  And Yo-Yo gets to be a mother!!!  UGH why couldn’t they have brought Flint instead of Deke lololol oh well.

I think I know another reason why Lincoln seems overhyped to me.  That other Inhuman, Ben I think his name is?  He’s in like two episodes, serves a narrative purpose, and is disposed.  I know Lincoln’s in like 18 times as many episodes but they have the same exact overall impact on my brain-hole.  Imagine if it was Ben that came back with them instead of Deke.  That’s how I feel about Lincoln.  Like, how did this obviously disposable character make it this far?

Then you have Deke.  You love to hate him.  He’s a very well-fashioned character who is flawless in making you feel the way the showrunners want you to feel.  That’s the kind of character that gets killed off twice and still comes back, and it doesn’t surprise you.

So, Enoch.  Enoch is everyone’s favorite character, right?  Right.  Give me genderless robots with a soft spot for humanity ANY DAY.  PLEASE where are they I need them.  (I’m un-repressing memories of S6 and I feel like somehow I should be careful what I wish for)  Man I remember with 1000% clarity the absolute glee I felt sitting down for the opening montage of S5 the first time, how ballsy weird it was, just watching this freaky bald alien of a man go swimming with some fun electro pop number playing in the background.  100/10 please make more television like this

 More monoliths!!  The time one is so pretty!

(remember when there were more monoliths and no one knew where they came from or what they did but then it didn’t matter because they got instantly exploded?)

The low-key obvious answers to the season’s questions, what with the Inhumans running all over the shop, Quake there to tear everything down and Flint there to put the pieces back together I’m not crying you’re crying

Oh man, and Simmons getting to mentor not one but two Inhuman youths to be confident and trust in themselves and their powers.  What a ways from the fear-panic response to Daisy when she turned.

Also, yeah, it has to be said, this show’s blatant “you’re different and that’s okay” agenda sits very well with me.  Agents of SHIELD says LGBTQ+ rights!

So anyway, part 2 falls a little flat for me because its strength is its themes, but I’m not really compelled by the stakes and definitely not by the villains and not really even by the intra-team drama.

Obviously S2 touched on parenthood, but it was pretty specific.  S5 digs in and brings us a lot more on the topic.

Kasius desperately desires his father’s approval but very deeply despises the methods and the people who earn it.

Hale was indoctrinated by Hydra and was very earnest in wanting to uphold the values of the organization, until the organization (and Whitehall) shared with her their narrow appreciation of the gift of her loyalty.  Even then, she struggles to make sense of this loyalty, only realizing too late that being a good Hydra pawn and a good parent are categorically mutually exclusive.

Ruby, obviously, is like a mini-Kasius, the brave-faced rebel who wears her mother’s disappointment on her sleeve like a badge of honor to pretend that it isn’t crippling her.

The Von Strucker kid, boy is he messed up (and his Hydra dad had something to do with it)

((echos of Ward are still heard even this far after his demise, and we know what his father figures were like))

Poor Talbot, got some brain damage and some Hydra conditioning on top of that, cracked that noggin wide open.  He just wanted to do good by his family.  Just wanted his son to know he loves him.

Polly and Robin.  The daughter who needs constant special care because she’s stuck inside her own mind and the mother who’s been through hell and back and still manages to do her best.  Even when she knows she won’t always be there for her daughter.  Even when she knows she’ll be replaced.

May getting a glimpse at the life she and Andrew once talked about.  Getting a chance to do right by that little girl.

Mack recovering from getting that same glimpse, from the echoing memories of a life time spent with his greatest regret erased.  Being roped into being a thug and threatening that dad without knowing the meaning behind his threat -- being told that people like him don’t deserve the privilege of parenthood.  But then getting to know Flint, and having Yo-Yo at his side while they fast track this kid through all the things he’s gonna need to know in order to be the Big Damn Hero the world needs him to be.

The timey-wimey promise that FitzSimmons will one day be parents to a brilliant daughter who will unfortunately give birth to a Deke.

Coulson and Daisy.  Another parent placing enormous expectations on his daughter, desperate that she be ready for his responsibilities because his time is running out.  A daughter who mishandles these expectations and refuses to stop fighting a losing battle, not because she’s not ready to step up, but because she doesn’t want to face the fact that she’s losing the man who raised her.

Anyway, aside from all this good Theme work, part 2 wades perfunctorily through musty remnants of the previous season, from The Doctor to The Russian.  Which makes sense, because that season ended in a way that left so many loose threads -- but then this season comes along and summarily ties them up, all cute little bows, the lot of them.  Dusts its hands.  Nothing to see here.  Move along now.  Time’s up.

[adangerousbond]

Quiet times

Just a quick, small tag to episode 1x10 of Blood and Treasure

I’ve loved this show since it first aired (and so glad it’s already been picked up for S2), just never gotten around to writing anything for it. Wrote this out in an afternoon, so sorry in advance for any mistakes!

Hoping to have some more fics, however have about a third left to type out for a post S4 Blindspot fic that I need to finish.

Enjoy!!

Read below or at AO3 or at ff.net (Will link to it once they add the show for me to upload to!)

The sun was rising by the time they arrived at the airport in Russia, having gotten the okay for Danny to travel, as long as he agreed to get another set of bloods done in 24 hours, and having passed the scene off to the team on site, they had left the moment they could. The black SUV they were in pulled to a stop a safe distance away from Reese's plane, or second home as it was starting to feel.

Stepping out onto the hanger floor, Lexi slid on her sunglasses and followed quietly behind Danny, so quietly that had it not been for the sound of her boots on the concrete, he probably would have turned back to ensure she was following. Gwen, who had tagged along for the trip home, took longer to make her way to the plane, having to collect the stack of files she had gotten from her team in Russia and had figured the flight home would be a good time to start going over them all.

By the time she entered the small plane, Danny and Lexi were already sitting in their usual seats across from each other, the former pulling out his laptop to get to work also, whereas the later was staring out the window absentmindedly. Gwen had expected a bit of resistance from the thief when she had asked for the lift back to Rome, but she was quickly realising that there was more than just Farouk's death on the two's mind.

The plane ride had mostly been silent, had it been pretty much any other time, Danny would have been worried about his partner's lack of speaking, she was after all a naturally fidgety and questionative person, it was rare for her to go so long without moving or speaking, but he knew after everything she had gone through and found out the past few days, she was in desperate need of a moment to process it all.

"Do you need a lift home or to the Carabinieri?" Danny asked, as the plane landed and made its way to its hanger.

"Home thanks, I think we all could do with some rest before we look deeper into any of this." Gwen stated, collecting her things back into a neat pile.

"That's the plan, unless you're sending more agents to a Priest's apartment?" Danny responded lightly, gaining only an annoyed look and audible sigh in response.

"After we get you to the hospital for at the very least another blood test." Lexi spoke for the first time for the entire flight, drawing the attention of the other two passengers instantly, her tone even and determined.

"I'm fine, the doctor just said that as a precaution, plus he said 24 hours later." He tried to reason but the fire in the gaze he was met with told him she was not going to take no for an answer, and it would be easier to just agree, a part of him knowing if the situation was reversed, he would be pushing the same angle.

"I guess we will drop you off on the way to the hospital." Danny sighed, catching the small smirk on the brunette standing up across from him, glad to be getting her way but also happy that he would be getting checked out again.

"Thank-you." The Interpol agent said as she led the way off the plane, still slightly surprised at how easily he had given in to the other woman's demands, but pleased non the less that he had, she had wanted to agree that it was a good idea, but felt it better to stay out of it.

The hospital had already received all the information from the team in Russia regarding what had happened, which had made it much quicker than they had expected. Danny couldn't help but smile at Lexi's smug look when the doctors stated they were glad he had come in earlier so they could do a full work up and make sure to get a head of anything that might come up.

They were both exhausted by the time they managed to get back to Chuck's apartment, Lexi settling on the couch as Danny grabbed them some beers out of the fridge. He placed hers on the coffee table when she made no move to take it off him and sat on the couch, flicking through the tv channels before coming across a soccer match to watch and when she made no sort of complaint to his choosing, he placed the remote back on the side table and crossed his legs, resting his feet up on the table in front of them.

Collecting the throw rug that was on the back of the couch, Lexi wrapped it around herself, before nestling down into Danny's side, his arm wrapping around her to bring her closer. For the first time in the last few days she actually felt safe and almost content, with the soft drone from the tv and the warmth he was sharing with her, she quickly drifted into a light sleep.

The sound of keys at the door drew Danny's attention away from the TV, even though he knew that the most likely answer was that it was in fact his friend, a small part of him readied in the chance it wasn't. Picking up the sound of his friend's voice greeting on of the neighbours quickly putting him back as ease.

"Well, isn't this quite the domestic scene." Father Chuck stated as he entered his apartment and took in his two friends.

"How was your day?" Danny asked, keeping his voice low as he took a drink from his beer.

"That's all you have to say, after your pal at Interpol arrested me?" Chuck responded in a similar tone, having realised that he was trying not to wake Lexi, as he placed his stuff on the table.

"Sorry about that, all worked out though, you giving her permission to do some B & E really helped us out." A soft chuckled from Danny, answering the other question of if they were still on the agents list of suspects.

"I don't believe that's what I said." The priest sighed, getting his own beer from the fridge and sitting on the armchair across from his friends, "So what's new?"

"Farouk is dead." The blonde stated calmly, turning his attention back to the TV screen as he gave his friend a chance to take in the sentence.

"What?! You didn't think to maybe lead with that?" The fathers voice suddenly a lot louder than before as the information sunk in.

"Shh..." Danny scolded, glancing at Lexi to see if she had been disturbed by the noise, her lack of reaction making him think she mustn't have but he also knew she was only half asleep, making her more likely not to have reacted because she knew he was there already.

"Sorry, sorry, did she…?" Chuck apologised, his voice lowering once more as he asked the next question the new information brought.

"No, Hardwick." Danny offered quickly, his hand running up and down Lexi's arm soothingly, on the off chance she was in fact listening to the conversation.

"Still, it's a lot for her to take in." The confessional tone taking over, as he looked to the woman he had once deemed the devil with concern.

"It's not even the half of it." Danny deadpanned after a mouthful of beer, he was still trying to run over everything for himself, but he knew it was a whole lot more for her.

"Is she doing okay?" Chuck questioned, respecting her privacy to question his statement further, and knowing that even if he did, his friend didn't seem like he would share anything further, as if the information was more a part of her story than his.

"She's processing a lot." He felt as she turned her head slightly, telling him that she was in fact listening and had been close to cutting him off, she wasn't someone who was good with accepting concern.

"Probably a too wishful question, but does this mean it's over?" Chuck asked, changing the subject at his friend's lack of sharing, his tone depicting that he was already fairly certain of the answer but still needed to hear it out loud.

"I don't think his plan ends with him, he has too many followers for that, but we at least have Antony know, so they can't use him to fund anything." Danny just then realising he hadn't mentioned finding Antony until now, when the priest was lost for words for a moment as he mulled over the statement.

"If that's what they wanted him for." Lexi spoke, breaking the moment of silence and giving up just being a bystander to the conversation, as she turned just enough that she could see Chuck as well, but not enough to lose her spot tucked next to Danny.

"How are you going with it all?" The father asked, choosing to drop the subject so that he could instead check on her.

"Okay, I guess." Lexi chuckled, as if her response was a surprise to her as well, but she did actually feel like she was starting to get a handle on the information she had been presented with.

"Lex." Danny spoke as almost a warning, an undertone to his voice that the other man almost couldn't place, until he saw the glance between the two on his couch, he was worried she was shutting him out.

"No really, my mother was in a secret society protecting the tomb of a way back relative, which turns out is the reason she died, and the man I've wanted dead for years, now is, but I think I'm okay." She ran through it all, her tone carrying a hint of rawness to it that made her switch her attention to the TV for a moment as she ran her hand through her hair, all to collect herself once more.

"Wait, you're saying your mother was a member of Serapis, and that you're a descendant of Cleopatra?" Chuck's mind taking a few seconds to piece everything thing just said together, his friends exhausted state slowly getting clearer to him as he realised just how much they had been through in the past few days.

"Hmm, so if you have any other bits of crazy information you think we should know, can we maybe just hold off a couple days to hear it? At least until we know Danny isn't going to die from whatever it was that he stupidly touched." Lexi joked, her eyebrow high as she put forth her request, turning her head upward to catch the smirk from the blonde she was referring to.

"That's a lot to process, even for me and I'm only hearing about it." The priest's tone going back to concern and understanding that he had mastered over the years, one that she knew by now made it easy for him to get people to open up too, his eyes flying to the man's next to her once the end part of her statement registered in his mind, "Why might Danny die?"

"I'm fine, multiple doctors have given me the okay." The man in question stated after giving his friend the run down of what had happened to him.

"They still want to do more tests; they haven't given you the all clear yet." Lexi countered, not quite ready to believe that he wouldn't have any repercussions.

"They let me leave, they wouldn't have done that if they thought I wasn't okay." He tried to reason with her once again and once again he knew it was a pointless battle.

"Only because I promised to make you come back." Lexi near growled, a threat in her words as much as concern, and with all the loss she had been reminded of recently, no-one in the room questioned her motives.

"I think I need some dinner, what's everyone feel like?" Chuck brought the tone of the room down a few notches as he asked them both, keeping his glaze on Lexi, figuring she would have the most input in the topic.

"I don't mind, I don't think I'm hungry." Lexi shrugged the question off, gaining both men's attention instantly at her response.

"Well, now I am worried, you're always hungry." Chuck stated, placing his beer on the side table before standing and heading towards the kitchen.

"Come on Lex, we haven't eaten in ages." Danny reminded her, ducking his head to talk directly to her, his tone softer than it had been as his concern set in.

"There's a little pizzeria down the road, does the best comfort food in the city." The priest told them from his kitchen, having made the decision for them all.

"I don't really feel like going out." Lexi informed the group, reaching forward to the long-discarded beer that Danny had brought in for her, sitting back into the couch after she opened it.

"That's why they invented take away." Chuck responded without pause, handing over a takeaway menu with a small smile.

"How about I head down and get us some food?" Danny asked, skimming over the menu as he spoke, having gain some energy sitting there.

"I can go." Chuck cut in quickly, before giving Lexi a chance to make any comment on the plan.

"We've been cramped in planes and cars; a walk will do me some good." Danny explained, folding the menu back up, as he dropped his feet from the table and sat up straighter.

"Are you sure?" The father asked, concerned about his friend now that he knew about his brush with an unknown biological weapon.

"Yes, I'll be fine." The blonde told the two, leaning down and gently giving Lexi a quick kiss before the action even registered in his mind, ignoring his friends look from across the room, Danny stood and made his way to collect his coat and phone.

-----------------------------------------------

"I'm going to say something and I want you to listen, okay?" Chuck broke the silence that had taken over the apartment since Danny had left.

"I'm not sure I like where this is going." Lexi deadpanned, turning to his direction with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a threat.

"I know a lot of us have been quite harsh on you, myself included-" He started, without much pause to her words.

"-you mean calling me the devil." The thief interrupted, an amused smirk now covering her face as she kept the conversation light.

"Yes, that, but it was just because we care about Danny, which I guess is my point, after it all he had us to turn to, but you, you don't seem to really have anyone in your corner, well other than Danny." The priest continued on, using his low confession voice that she wasn't sure if she loved or hated.

"Gee, thanks." She snapped back, a slight irritation seeping into her tone as she took a drink from her beer.

"What I'm getting at, is it must have been hard for you to get through it all and none of us really thought about that side, about your side, so for that I am sorry." He spoke softly, the apology coming across as heartfelt and serious, two things she disliked in a conversation about herself.

"You care about Danny, I get it, it's fine." Lexi told him, brushing some stray strands of hair from her face, and putting a physical barrier between them in doing so.

"But, so do you, and that did surprise me." He caught the question in her raised eyebrow and pressed on, "I always thought you were just using him, that he was another person you were using to get something you wanted, but, you do actually genuinely care about him, probably even love him."

"Careful now, your saying I'm not the devil and that you believe I am capable of love, people might start to think you think I'm actually a half decent person." She chose to pick at the points of his sentence she could to try to bring the topic back to something she was more comfortable with.

"I do think that, and so does Danny, you're the one who has trouble accepting that, and I know it's just a part of your many defence mechanisms, just as being closed off is, but I will say this, I have a lot of married people come into my confession, and most of them are lucky to have a small amount of the love, respect and concern that you and Danny have for each." Chuck pushed his luck, watching the woman across from him closely as she hesitated a moment.

"Are you saying I'm not an open book?" Lexi joked, once again taking what she could from his words to keep some control in the room, to keep some small aspect light.

"You're definitely not, and neither is Danny, but somehow you two do actually seem to open up to each other, it's actually good for him too." He allowed her to choose the humour side of his words, knowing that it would be the only way she would continue letting him go down the line of conversation he had started.

"So, I've gone from being the devil to being good for him?" She questioned with a tilt of the head, evidently getting close to putting an end to the topic, one she wasn't entirely sure why she had let go on for so long already.

"At least as long as you stick around, which as much as I believe you need him too, I'm still not sure if you love yourself enough to stay with him and let yourself be happy." He stated, the blank stare he was getting telling him that he had pushed too far, that the conversation would be over even without the sounds of the front door being opened.

"What were you two talking about?" Danny walked into the apartment, sensing the tension between the two as he did.

"Father Chuck was just giving permission for us to get married; I think." Lexi explained in a tone much lighter than her previous glare had been, any hint of anger or annoyance that she had had in the conversation prior, appearing gone.

"What?" Danny asked, brows furrowed at her response, placing the food on the dinning table as the other two made their way over to join him.

"I just said," the father paused, flicking his eyes back and forth between the two, "You know what, never mind, let's just eat."

"Tell me later?" Danny spoke softly, and for a moment Chuck thought the question was directed at him, until he saw his friend was bent towards the woman next to him, who gave him a small smile and a quiet yes in response, and something told the priest she would actually tell him everything later.

[imperialsea-a]

ELIZABETH’S IN-DEPTH RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET.

          Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

          Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Rem (not that blue-haired anime girl or DN, it’s from my old blog!) OOC Contact: Contact me through the Tumblr IM system or my Discord! My Discord is: imperialsea#1818. Please tell me your URL if you message me there so I know who you are!

Now, onto the heart of the post!

   ♛   Who the heck is my muse, anyway? Elizabeth Eva Alexandria Cross, the only biological daughter of Kaien Cross, her father (a canon vk char), and Eva Liliya Cherie Cross, her mother (an oc muse)! Elizabeth is a vampire hunter by blood like all in her family before her! But, shh! Your character isn't supposed to know that .  .  .  unless they're also a hunter .  .  .  or a perhaps a vampire (since her family from both sides are famous hunters, but even then they don't have to know she's a vamp killer if you don't want them to) .  .  .  or they're some sort of ally to her / the hunters association since she can't just tell anyone her actual work on a whim. Where she's from, the existence of vampires are a secret from most of humanity and it's her job to kill the dangerous people-hurty ones and keep that nice and secret so as to avoid a world war! 'Nothing about her is complicated at all', I say, lying through my teeth like Bethy does to society every day by keeping her job and true lifestyle hidden :'D

Further information below the cut, please take time to read if you’re stuck on what to plot and how Bethy operates!

   ♛   Points of Interest:           - She was born and raised to fight against unruly beasts and composed foes alike. Despite her youth, she's a one-woman powerhouse and is not afraid to take herself down with an opponent if she deems it necessary. She's like the Smash player who hits the fake smash ball to take out an enemy on their last legs, even at the expense of her own life. She'll do it! Except in Smash she'd probably just win the match because she had an extra life and not, you know, not die forever for real in a last grand battle.

          - She's got vamp genes all over the place and is rare among hunters. She's biologically immortal like a Pureblood despite not being a vampire herself and is living testimony of what her predecessors took from Purebloods both by honorable bestowal of blood from the mysterious Hooded Woman, and straight up [insert painting of Jupiter Devouring His Son here]. Her great grandparent is 3k+ years old, her father is 200+ for devouring his own twin-- it's messy as mythology, but anime :'D  She herself is only 18 on default though (19 in K Crossover--), the youngest of her entire bloodline, and she can still be slain in battle even if she is much hardier than a typical human being. She's also sensitive to auras, and capable of sensing vampires.

          - Things characters might notice? She's ghostly pale and kind of looks like she stepped out of The Last Unicorn. She looks cold, sophisticated, and vaguely otherworldly-- she really doesn't radiate the friendliest of vibes unless she's doing something she loves, and the calculated yet seemingly effortless grace of her movements are prominent in and outside of combat. She is descended from an ancient royal line, and those posh, stuffy mannerisms and formal speech pattern live on through her even if the Adrasteian monarchy no longer exists.

          - She truly isn't a trigger-happy person, whatever the title of 'hunter' implies, and keeps a level head in most situations. Sure, Bethy looks as if she could bite someone's head off and can display some seriously threatening flashes of anger, but she's not going to do something rash and will only resort to drawing her weapons in a serious matter. She's here to save lives, maintain peace, and keep order, not disrupt it and set off a war! No pressure on her, right?

         - She is also notably, NOT a high school student, though she may be mistaken for a high school senior or young college student since her age fits the bill. Elizabeth actually graduated from her high school at age sixteen and took to hunting full-time immediately after. She was convinced to slow it down by her grandparents and began preparing for college when her assignment at Cross Academy arrived and, uh, pretty tragically, hasn’t been able to attend any classes due to her work demands. Come to choose between the world and personal fulfillment? Her conscience only let her have one choice; a hunter must hunt.

    ♛   What they’ve been up to recently:           - Work. There's hardly a time when this girl isn't working or planning what to do next, and the workload only grows after the previous president is outed as a dishonorable, self-serving traitor to the hunters. She's seriously injured after trading blows with him and is promptly benched to deal with the fallout and mental agony, but she's back within a year (and in K's crossover? Only six months later!).

          - Having said that, Elizabeth does have days off and will spend them quietly with her friends, or alone with music and a rejuvenating swim.

          - Depending on the time in her life? Her life circumstances vary drastically-- she can go from a young huntress travelling on her own as duty demands, or she can be a mother of five children and trusted right hand of the new hunter president, Zero Kiryuu. She lives for a long time, so she's always up to something! And of course, she's always motivated to fight for a better future. 

   ♛   Where to find them:            - Aside from work, check the beach! Or find her on methods of cross-continental transportation since she travels around the world for her job (she walks whenever possible, so it's rare to see her on a bus, but she’ll begrudgingly take one or a train)! Otherwise, a place like an aquarium, clothing store, or coffee shop, or any place in a city is your best chance.... write w me pls... q-q she is Around Somewhere.

          - If not found in any of those places and your character is someone inside Cross Academy, she can be found there, helping the prefects in some way and is familiar enough with the building to help out new students if they ask.

    ♛   Current Plans:           - Elizabeth is chained to her work as a hunter for as long as she draws breath, or until there is no need for her to end hostile vampires. Her ultimate goal is to keep the world from falling into a repeat, all-out war between vampires and humanity. Her living and family situation might change through the years, but that will always be her primary drive-- she's got an indomitable will.

    ♛   Desired Interactions:           - please ovq

          - In all seriousness, I’m up for pretty much anything. She needs more friends, more enemies, people to protect, people to be protected by, people she looks up to, people who legitimately unnerve her, everything! I just don’t feel comfortable killing her. Elizabeth fought really hard to get her future and deserves to find comfort after her entire childhood-young adult life was spent thinking the only thing of worth she had was her role as a huntress. I do really, really love angst though, so anything else goes, really c:

     ♛   Offered Interactions ( please sit tight for this! it will be divided into multiple sections! ) :           - IF YOUR CHARACTER IS HUMAN:                - She’ll assume your muse is an average civilian until shown otherwise (be it with unusual powers, whacky aura, combat prowess, or prior knowledge from a report or something-- a plot specific thing). Unless they truly know about vampires / work with the Hunters Association, Elizabeth will not be sharing any information about who or what she is without a legitimate reason (such as the human character being bitten by a Pureblood and thus is being turned into a vampire themselves). However, the other party being kept in the dark about vampires can open the door to a more relaxed Elizabeth without her professional, perfectionist mindset. She’s more likely to have a pleasant conversation with humans since they have no part in the hunt-- but in that same vein, she does aim to keep them at a certain distance and not develop a deep emotional bond (but she’s also a lot softer than she looks and acts and tends to care for others quickly, should they get along). It’s a tricky slope .  .  . She’s thawed out and the nicer aspects of her personality are far more prominent, but at the same time, she’s not being entirely genuine. Give her time and she’ll become more open about personal things, just, not her work.

               - Applies to her K Proj. Crossover.  Working with S4, Elizabeth takes some time to adjust, but ultimately loves the organization and the people within it. They’re an exception to her ‘no ties with average humans’ rule because....errr.... they’re not the average human she’s used to protecting and in that verse they’re aware of her occupation and peculiar heritage. She’s not as cold first impressions might suggest and loves Reisi’s weird af team building nights, it’s hard for her to not have a soft spot for them, even as an outsider and unofficial member (as in, she has none of the abilities the Blues have, but she has her natural abilities).

         - IF YOUR CHARACTER IS A HUNTER:                 - Elizabeth is a known figure in hunter society; her great grandfather, grandfather, and aunt were previous heads of the organization and each are still alive at present. So, it probably makes more sense if your hunter character at the very least knows about her-- unless they’re an off-series muse in which case go wild and do what you think is best! I always did like the idea of two vampire hunters chilling together with neither one knowing the other is a fellow hunter until they’re attacked by a vamp and they’re both like ‘Oh!’

               - A simple but always reliable plot idea is two hunters on a joint mission! It’s really important to know that Bethy does not take kindly to poor performance and expects her partner to take whatever assignment they have seriously. If not? Things get tundra-cold really fast-- o-o;; People’s lives are at stake and in her opinion, if a hunter wants to mope or complain about their blood-given obligation, they’re not fit to be hunters in the first place. ‘Can’t do the job? Then finish what you started with me if you have any shred of integrity, and get thee gone’ sort of thing. Otherwise, uh :’D;; she’s highly cooperative and always aims to reach the outcome with the least amount of damage.

               - As a teenager, she attended a hunter-run private academy in Adrasteia for four years. If it’s possible for your muse to attend (as in, they are from a vampire hunter family and can pass the rigorous entrance exams), throw em in for a slightly younger, less stringent Bethy? A national fencing champion at the top of her classes, and great granddaughter to the legendary hellfire headmaster, Elizabeth’s not easily missed! It could be the start to an amicable relationship to carry into future interactions?

        - IF YOUR CHARACTER IS A VAMPIRE:                 - Bluntly put, for vampires, it’s probably better to interact with Elizabeth after Cross Academy has fallen in the large battle that took place there. Her mother is revealed to have been alive and held captive as a vampire, she’s already friends with a hunter/vamp, her two friends turned out to be Purebloods, and ‘oh....my mother and father got together again and now I’ve got a younger vampire brother’ .....and her boyfriend’s half sister is also a vampire who marries the former vamp senate heir..... so...vamps everywhere; she simply accepts them as part of the family. Prior to that, while she isn’t hostile to vampires and certainly has no intention to attack a vamp unjustly, it’s not a place she’s eager to put herself in. Depending on how threatened she feels, she’ll even swallow her pride and keep her head down-- mostly.

               - If your muse is a hunter-turned-vampire, she doesn’t treat them as a vampire, rather, she still sees them as a compatriot, like in the case of Zero Kiryuu. Whether or not your muse received the blood of their keeper is up to you, but in the case that they haven’t-- she’s always there to assist in granting mercy whenever the time comes :’)

       - IF YOUR CHARACTER DOES NOT FIT INTO ANY OF THE ABOVE CATEGORIES / REGARDING OTHER VERSES:                - Please help me find something that works, I’m willing to try! Memes are incredibly helpful! Send one in, the tag is here, and we can go from there!

                  - My currently finished and ready-to-use Crossover Verse is K Proj., which can be read about right here.

      ♛   Current Open Post/s: Linked right here. There's no expiration date to these, and it doesn't matter if another person has replied to one, you are more than welcome to reply to one if it catches your eye at all.

      ♛   Anything else?:  YEAH, wow I am so sorry that got so long. Please note that this post may be updated periodically!

[omgbrainstorming]

The Librarians Periscope Live

Since I can’t watch UPtv because I live outside the US (not salty about that, not at all), I’ve watched the Live on Periscope that was supposed to be on Facebook, but Facebook was dead, so here’s what happened:

UPtv has given us a new home and said that if they get enough “love” they might do something for either a new movie or season 5

Dean had an ear piece to hear the questions and was playing FBI/CIA agent 

First “on screen” was John Kim to “talk behind the girls’ backs” (they were all behind the cameras)

Dean would have loved to explore the Mayan Mythology in season 5 (and again said it still might happen)

John was asked if he thought that Ezekiel would have changed had he picked up the Apple of Discord in season 4 since he didn’t change in season 1, and he said absolutely no and Dean added that there’s a freaking reason why the answer is a big fat no and it’s in the special that they did so, hey, those of you who can watch UPtv will find out! (n.d.a. Not salty at all, really). Also he said that Ezekiel is always both the best and the worst version of himself, so really, no.

John said his fave memory is his first day because he knew nothing, where Portland was (”it’s west of New Hampshire, right?”), what he was supposed to do etc., but everyone was really welcoming 

Dean said that the actors really helped shaped it all (the show) because they had lots of great ideas (like Lindy’s idea of having Cassandra smitten with Jenkins)

John was asked if Ezekiel kept any of the werewolf’s traits and he said that even though the “fetch the ball” scene with Christian at the end of the episode was hilarious, no, he’s just himself, “Ezekiel’s superpower is that he doesn’t know what he’s doing”

Here an alarm went off and, hilariously, it was the sound guy’s alarm 

Here came Lindy “on screen”

MY SHIPPER SISTER WAS MENTIONED: they asked a @jenksel ‘s question (I’m so proud??) where she asked if Casskins was going anywhere and Lindy was all “Listen here, I AM THIS SHIP’S CAPTAIN AND IMMA GO DOWN WITH IT!” so she certainly hopes so, she loves the idea that the thing keeping them (Cassandra and Jenkins) apart was their mortality/immortality and when Jenkins became mortal “it was... maybe maybe maybe!” and Dean and John echoed her “Maybe maybe maybe” and she concluded with: “I would be interested!”

Question: “We know Flynn has a special bond with Excalibur, what would your character choose?” (As something to bond with) And both Lindy and Dean had to suggest Stumpy to John, and Lindy said that Cassandra bonded with no objects, but with her power.

Lindy started making fun of Dean for his ear piece

Q: “In an hypothetical s5, would Cassandra and Jenkins remember the stuff from s4 that was erased when they went back and flipped it?” Because, Dean explains, we know that Flynn remembers and we think that Baird remembers. Lindy said that Cassandra and Jenkins’ relationship is so special that maybe it was imprinted on their hearts ”If I can be super romantic about the entire thing, and I think that kind of thing never goes away, and so maybe, if the details of it had gotten away, they still would have had a sense of that” (n.d.a. Lindy is our ship’s captain through and through, gotta love her)

Q: John and Lindy, what was you fave scene together? They both went “The Minotaur scene” when they are inside the Labyrinth (n.d.a. I’m not crying, go away), John said that it was beautiful because up until this point we see Ezekiel not caring for anyone but himself, and here and throughout all the seasons we see how he has a soft spot for Cassandra and he opens up to her before, and then to the rest of the team (n.d.a. my Casekiel babiiiies), he loved shooting with Lindy because they felt really at ease with each other; and then the final scene of the Morgan episode where Ezekiel gives her the trophy

Q: What was your (Lindy) fave costume? Lindy loved this question. She loved many of her outfits, creating them as well, but if she has to pick one, it’s the Cindy’s episode costume, where she is really colourful, yellow skirt, striped shirt underneath, a blue vest, an extremely short tie and a lovely big bee brooch on it. She doesn’t know why, but this outfit just makes her happy. 

Dean made fun of Christian before he came on screen “don’t know if you can hear it, but there was the sound of a motorbike and a horse running, so that tells me that Christian Kane is in the house”, Christian acted as if he was winded and didn’t know what was happening (he truly didn’t know it was a Periscope and not a Fb Live)

Q: What was your (Christian) fave myth? Was it in the show or not? Christian loved the Frankenstein thing, he was jealous of John Kim for this, he knows that Flynn has killed Dracula so that’s out of the table, but he would have loved more Frankenstein. 

Question for Christian: Which series required more stunts? Leverage or The Librarians? Leverage. And Dean is still salty about the fact that Christian makes him hire stunts for him and then goes and does the stunts himself.

Question for Christian: did you have to watch The Librarian movies or did you just wing it? He said he was lucky because the role was written with him in mind, so no, he knows what Flynn did in the past, but he didn’t

Q: What was your fave interactions with the fans of the show? Christian likes that both 5yo kids and 100yo watch the show together and can both be fan. For John it was at the DragonCon because two girls went up to them (Christian was with him) dressed as Eve and Cassandra and he was like “I know those outfits”, they (the girls) told them they were Eve and Cassandra (Prince Charming Cassandra and a jumpsuit for Eve) and John couldn’t believe he hadn’t recognised them. For Lindy all the girls who thanked her via Instagram or Twitter for representing them, the “weird ones”, who said that Cassandra really meant something for them and that helped them through a difficult time. Lindy herself said she “was always a weirdo” never fitting anywhere, so it was really special, “for all of you ladies out there, hiiiiii” and waved. 

Question for Christian: how did the character of Jacob help you evolve as an actor? He said that he was really lucky to work with amazing people (said all the cast’s names, but paused before John Kim’s name lol), and he said that Jacob was smarter than him, so he kinda had to get smarter.

Q: how was it to work with Rachel Nichols? They all said she was really nice.

Q: what was the funniest behind the scenes moment? They couldn’t really pick one, they loved playing UNO together, but turns out they gave a nickname to John Kim at 2 a.m. because John Kim is a really common name for korean actors and... they brainstormed. Lindy, laughing, said “and then he said he wanted a traditional Australian name!” and... they came up with Koala Newton John. They all agreed it would have been a hit

Q: would you (Dean) have liked to have an episode with all the villains together? Yes, Dean would have loved it, mainly because they all like the actors who played them, Christian was like “yeah, man, we can take ‘em, bring ‘em in!” and Dean “We got Baird, we can win anybody”

Rebecca arrived on screen

Question for Rebecca: what was your fave action and fave emotional scene? She loved the bar fight with Christian in the very first episode because they had played brother and sister in a previous show and had a fight together, so she liked that as the action scene. As the emotional scene she said Jenkins’ deathbed was tough, everyone chimed in saying it was so very emotional, but she added the scene in s4 where she is trying to make them remember The Library and she forgets it herself (in the alternate reality).

Q: we want to know everything that happened with those bunk beds from the summer camp episode. They said that there weren’t many funny outtakes, but that Ezekiel was bunking with Jacob and that Cassandra was under Eve’s bed. They had funny pj’s (”sleeping bonnet” for Lindy, alien pj’s for Ezekiel). But, on Rebecca’s Instagram there are pictures of them in bunk beds, it’s from the time loop episode. They said that maybe they liked bunk beds so much that they (the characters) sleep in bunk beds in The Library. 

Dean said that the location for the time loop episode is an actual prison, never used before, but still a prison.  John then said that, talking about emotional scenes, the one where Eve tells Ezekiel the WW2 story was really emotional, he didn’t want to know the story ‘till their close up and it worked well because he was genuinely tearing up when Rebecca/Eve told him for the first time during the shoot.

Question for Rebecca: fave memory from working on the show? Probably The Silver Screen episode because she likes that it’s not, as usual, Flynn explaining things to Eve, it’s Eve who knows this world and explains it to him. And then the fact that they (Rebecca and Noah) were really beautifully dressed as noir movies want and they (Lindy, Christian and John) showed up dressed up as anything but. They started laughing, John’s fond memories of Jab Jab, Christian was really embarassed because of his cowboy outfit so out of context with their beautiful world. Then everyone laughed because Dean brought up Christian’s yodeling in that episode. 

Q: what was something you wanted to see your character doing/going that we didn’t get to do in s5?  John likes that he (Ezekiel) was almost at the point of being responsible and he would have liked to shoot that.  Lindy would have liked to know more about her past, her parents etc. She has so many ideas because we only got a glimpse of her goth phase in high school, she would have loved to have a particular actress as her mother (n.d.a. sorry guys, I didn’t catch her name, did you?) because she thinks she could portay the same energy Cassandra has, and Christian said he actually often visualise the same actress as his mother and thinks she’d be perfect.  Rebecca would have loved to see an immortal Eve. Christian said that Jacob has found his family in s3, so he thinks he just wants to be like Eve, not in any romantic way, but he wants her to have to focus only on protecting Cassandra and Ezekiel, he wants to be able to fight at the same level, he wants to be great in a fight. 

Dean reveals (to them as well) that he knew what the opening scene of s5 would have been: right back in the middle of the Tethering Ceremony with Nicole barging in and yelling “Stop! If you tether the world ends!” and end of teaser. He knows nothing after that, but he wanted to “screw everything up”

Q: if you had to do a body swapping episode, who would you like your character to body swap with?  John, without a second of hesitation: “Baird.” And then “Aaaaaah, to kiss Noah Wyle” and everyone started laughing. Because he likes the idea of changing the Librarian-Guardian thing. Rebecca agrees that watching her as Ezekiel would have been fun. Lindy to Christian “Does that leave you and me?”  Christian would be ecstatic to play Cassandra, he thinks he’d be great with his hands (for the visions), “I think I’d be fabolous!” and Lindy said she’s be impressive as Jacob because no one expects her to be able to fight, but she actually, in real life, is, Christian knows this and was “yes, she can throw a punch, I believe she knocked me back 3 feet”

Q: in tribute to John Larroquette who’s not here, your fave scene with John Larroquette. Lindy made a whining pained sound (she can’t choose one, “All of them!”). Dean: I think as a group, you all agree on his death scene.  Everyone: yes. Dean: that was a rip-your-heart-out scene. But what about your one on one scene? Christian: the episode where Jenkins and Jacob had the talk after the stuff with Jake’s father. Christian went up to John (Larroquette) and told him, before they even knew about that episode, “<You have to understand something, man, you’re going to be my dad in this>, and I told John that, and you (Dean) before that episode with my dad, <I’m looking at you because I have nothing, you know what I mean? I don’t trust this guys (points at the others), so you- you’re the guy>” and it went exactly as he imagined it, and said that just getting to have a cup of coffe in the morning with John is amazing. Lindy: it was the entire episode she directed (Some Dude Named Jeff) because she says that what he gave her during that episode is so incredible. Her fave scene between him and Cassandra is “the vampire episode”. Christian: “At the very end?” Lindy: “No, no, at the beginning! Where she confesses her undying love to Jenkins! And asks him out on a date! And I just remember John (Larroquette) being so awkard about this and was like (tries to deepen her voice to speak like John) <Ooooh, nooo, I don’t think you would ever ask me out on a date!> and I was like, <Listen John, don’t tell me what I wouldn’t do>” and everyone laughs. She said that she likes their fight over mortality and immortality (same episode) and “he’s just a dream to work with” and stares dreamily into the void.  John Kim says it’s when Ezekiel confronts Jenkins when he’s going away in the Apple of Discord. Dean said that his fave scene between John Larroquette and Rebecca was in the second episode, under the bridge, when he gives her the pep talk.  Rebecca agrees, but also like the scene just before his death, when Eve has brought them all back and “he was there and gave me the biggest hug in the world”

Christian: “If I can speak for the panel, none of our tears (in the death scene) were acting, I was crying”. Everyone: yes. He (John Larroquette) was powerful.

Question: which episode was the funniest to film? Or which moment?  Rebecca can’t pick, but said that the episode when they know they can work together, the four of them, without Flynn, the fairytale episode, they had lots of fun then, especially at Eve being mad for being a princess. Christian remembers going up to Rebecca: “as someone <that claims to know about stunts> I said <you’re in high heels, be careful with them> and she looked at me and she goes <Christian, there’s nothing I can’t do in high heels>” and everyone started laughing. Christian “and you know what? She’s absolutely right”

Question for John: can you actually pick a lock and have you ever stolen something? Yes, he can actually pick a lock, he learned, he can do it in under a minute. Christian “what did you steal that’s worth the most money?” Lindy at John “Nooooo! Do not admit to that!” Chaos ensued and Dean calmed them: “I’ll answer the question for him” then looks in the camera “A million hearts”. 

Q: if there could only be one Librarian, who would make the best Librarian? Dean is sure this will start a fight. John: Ezekiel Jones. No questions, no hesitation. Everyone laughs. Lindy raises her hand and goes: “Guys, like, who else’s ever read a book? Who else could it be?!”  Christian “I’ll be honest with you: it wouldn’t be Jacob Stone” and “sure as hell wouldn’t be Ezekiel” and “It would have been Cassandra. Because she thinks about things before jumping in and because she has the power of magic” 

Dean thinks Captain Marvel stole the idea from them: the fact that Cassandra has powers, then gets rid of the brain grape and her powers go boom.

Lindy: “I actually think that not one of them can be The Librarian, even Flynn admitted it, after muuuuch discussion, that they are all better together.” Dean: 100% agrees with Lindy

Q: would any of you consider being a librarian as an alternative career?  Rebecca volounteers at her kids’ library Lindy spends lots of time with children literacy causes, she wouldn’t be a librarian, “but the library is my happy place” Christian “I don’t wanna have to do with any card catalogue whatsoever!” (he’d only be a Librarian, capital L).   John: nope, his fondest memory of a library is him behind other children scaring them.

Dean: can any of you actually use the card catalogue? John: NO. Rebecca and Lindy: yes, no problem. Christian: it’s the easiest thing in the world. Then to John “of course you can’t” And Christian Kane is an actual honorary librarian, because he made some publicity for the show and the NY Library gave him an honorary position.

Q: What do you think The Librarians have been doing since the last episode? Christian wants everybody to know that Jacob Stone has perfected and probably marketed his own line of beef jerky - everyone explodes in laughs - which is called Chupacabra. Lindy (n.d.a. who totally wanted to say “Jenkins”) says that Cassandra is probably re-organizing everything in The Library. John thinks Ezekiel is being lazy, sleeping in, getting bald.

Lindy directed an episode, John asked what she did for it and she said she normally just reads the script and thinks what would Cassandra wants, here she had to do it with all of them, mostly Jenkins.  Christian said she was amazing, especially because it was her idea the opening scene (when they come into The Library, it’s shot all in one, no room for error, they are shouting news of the escaped animals at each other)

Dean asked: Did directing changed the way she acts? (Lindy) Not really, just made her want to be better.

Q: if you could use the Magic Door to take you anywhere in the world, where would you go?  Lindy: can we travel in time? Rebecca: No, it’s not a time machine.  Lindy: I kno- Rebecca: Do you even remember the show we were in? The thing escalated when they asked Dean if they could swap the magic doors for a time machine.  Christian: magic door, same day, same time. Go. Lindy: Ok. Becca? Rebecca: ahm.......................... Christian: John Kim? They laugh.  Rebecca: Come back to me! Dean: I’ll tell you where I would go!  Rebecca: ok Dean: I would take all of you and we’d go through the Magic Door and we’d arrive at The Library. Everyone: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww!

And that’s it. 

Now it’s almost 6 a.m. here and I want the extended episodes of The Librarians. No, I don’t need sleep, someone gives those episodes to me, please

[archivednerdfics]

“Misery Loves Company” Summery: Selina goes to a Wayne Enterprise event and finds a stubborn Bruce in need of help. (Just a super fluffy sickfic — can take place anywhere in s3 or even certain parts of s4 — I will leave that up to you, dear reader) Word Count: 3,000 ________________________________________ She didn’t make a habit of going to Wayne Enterprises events, not because it was hard to get in (she fit in perfectly when she wore one of Barbara’s fancy — and uncomfortable — dresses), but because she found the whole thing rather boring. However, these events were always full of easy marks, so when she ways running low on funds, she made a point of going. She had been there from the start, hitting several marks within the first half-hour, so there was really no reason to stay this long, except for the fact that she couldn’t stop watching Bruce. He hadn’t noticed her, but she’d been keeping an eye on him since she’d arrived. Something was... off about him, but she couldn’t quite place her finger on what it was. He was mingling and making small talk with people — because he had to, she thought, not because he actually wanted to — and to anyone who didn’t know him, he would’ve seemed completely normal. ...But she did know him, and he certainly wasn’t himself. It became obvious to her, however, when he made his speech, just what was wrong with him. He was doing his best to hide it, but he looked and sounded miserable. His voice was rough, as if he had swallowed sandpaper, and there was a distinct sheen of sweat covering his forehead by the time he had finished speaking. No one else seemed to have noticed this, however; or if they had, they were too polite to say anything. Selina rolled her eyes and made her way over to the young man, thinking that if nobody else was going to do anything about this, then she would. “Alfred let you leave the house like this?” she asked, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder, noting that even through his jacket she could feel the heat that he was radiating. Bruce jumped slightly in surprise and turned to face the young woman. “Selina?” he asked, and she could see that despite his surprise, he was relieved to see her, “What are you doing here?” “I was running low on cash,” she said, holding up a small purse that was filled with jewelry, watches, cuff-links, and anything else she found that seemed like it might be valuable. Bruce gave her a disapproving look, though it was made significantly less effective when he suddenly turned away from her and sneezed into the crook of his elbow. He did his best to stifle it, but still earned a few looks from the crowd — some sympathetic, others disapproving, but he ignored them. “You should go home, Bruce,” Selina said, her tone changing from one of indifference to one of concern, “Where’s Alfred? I’ll go get him.” “I’m fine; and Alfred isn’t here, anyway.” “Where is he?” “Visiting someone in England — a friend, I think — I told him he should go.” Selina sighed, Alfred was the only other person who could talk sense into Bruce and she could’ve used his help now. “You know, it’s just gonna make more work for him if he comes back and has to take you to the hospital ‘cause you don’t take care of yourself.” “I’m fine, Selina,” Bruce said, irritation clear in his hoarse, congested voice, “It’s just a cold, and I am perfectly capable of caring for myself.” Selina thought for a moment before making a decision and grabbing the young man’s arm. “Let’s go,” she said pulling him towards the exit. “No, Selina, I can’t. I have to stay an—“ “—You gave a speech and talked to people. You did what they expected you to; nobody’s gonna get mad that you left. Especially since you’re the richest person in Gotham.” Bruce hesitated for a moment, caught between the obligation to stay, and the fact that he wanted nothing more than to go home and collapse into his bed. Finally he nodded slightly in response and allowed himself to be dragged out of the building. They made it to the young man’s car after several minutes of walking and he pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket, which Selina grabbed from him. “What are you doing?” he asked in confusion. “I’m driving — you’re too sick.” “...Do you actually know how to drive?” Selina shrugged and unlocked the doors, “I know enough. Now get in, it’s freezing out here.” They were on the road for some time — Selina driving and Bruce sitting in the passenger seat, trying not to focus on Selina’s driving — before Bruce realized they were heading in the opposite direction of his home. “...Wait, where are you going?” he asked, looking over at her. “What, you thought I was gonna leave you alone at your place like this?” She gestured at him and he took her hand, leaning over and placing it back on the steering-wheel with a pointed look before sitting back again. Selina rolled her eyes, but otherwise let it go, “We’re going to my place.” By the time they reached Selina’s current squat, Bruce was beginning to doze off, having finally gotten used to Selina’s reckless driving. The young woman parked the car and leaned over to Bruce, shaking his shoulder gently with a quiet, “We’re here.” Bruce groaned slightly as he sat up and held his hand out to Selina expectantly; she rolled her eyes as she handed him the car keys. They got out of the car and looked up at the tell building in front of them for a moment before Selina pulled down the fire escape ladder. “...You’re okay enough to climb up here, right?” She asked, glancing over at the young man who was looking more exhausted with every passing minute. “Yeah,” he said with a small nod. His voice was barely audible and he cleared his throat in an attempt to get it back to normal. It didn’t do much. “Yeah, I’m fine.” It took them several minutes to climb up to Selina’s apartment — longer than normal. Selina didn’t say anything, though she did give Bruce a few concerned looks, worried by the fact that he was going so slow. Selina slid open the window and climbed inside, Bruce following close behind her. The apartment was small but surprisingly comfortable, even though it was sparse. There was a queen-sized mattress with some pillows and a blanket thrown onto it haphazardly in the middle of the room, a small table in a corner of the room with a hot plate set on top of it, a couple saucepans, plates, bowls, cans of food and silverware beneath it, and a small pile of folded clothes in another corner. “...It’s nice,” Bruce said, giving Selina a small smile. “Thanks,” the girl replied, returning the smile, though it faded as she took in the boy’s appearance. He was trying to hide it, but she could tell that he was worse off than he had been earlier that night. He looked significantly paler than before, and there was a sheen of sweat covering his forehead even though he was shivering. Selina placed her hand on his forehead, frowning at how overly warm he was. He leaned into her hand for a moment before sighing and pushing her away. “Selina, I’m fi—“ he began, but was cut off by a harsh coughing fit that hurt his throat. “Uh-huh, you’re fine,” Selina said with a tone of sarcasm as she crossed her arms, “Bed. Now.” He was stubborn, which she should have expected, but after a couple minutes of coaxing, Selina managed to get him to sit down on the mattress. “I’m gonna change,” Selina said as she rummaged through the pile of clothes, “‘Cause I hate everything about what I’m wearing right now. —Here,” she added, tossing Bruce an oversized t-shirt and pair of pajama pants that she often wore to bed, and then leaving to another room, the bathroom presumably, through a door that Bruce had failed to notice when they’d entered the apartment. She reentered the main room only a few minutes later to find Bruce curled up under the thin blanket she’d left on the bed, already nearly asleep, the clothes he’d been wearing earlier now folded neatly and placed next to the mattress. Selina smiled a little and shook her head. Seeing him like this, in her home, brought back memories of the brief time he had lived with her, and it made her happy. “...You cold?” she asked after a couple moments, noticing how he was shivering under the single blanket he had wrapped around him, and Bruce nodded slightly in reply. “I’ll get some more blankets.” She found several blankets, including a thick quilt that would be big enough to comfortably cover both of them, and brought them back to the bed. She covered Bruce with a couple, which he gratefully wrapped closer around his shoulders, and then wrapped herself up in one as she made herself comfortable next to him, pulling the large quilt over both of them. Once Selina was settled in, Bruce moved over slightly and rested his head on her shoulder with a soft sigh of content. “...Thank you,” he said, and Selina smiled. “Hey, I wasn’t gonna let you suffer alone with the flu or whatever you got. ...Whether you wanted me to or not.” “Well, I appreciate it.” “Any time. ...I...like having you here, Bruce. —Now get some sleep,” she added before he had the chance to respond, “If Alfred comes back and you’re dead—“ “—I’m not dying, Selina.” She gave an internal sigh of relief; maybe he hadn’t heard her admit that she wanted him around. “Still,” she said, and ran a hand through his short, but thick hair, “He’ll kill me if anything happens to you.” The boy smiled slightly as he snuggled up closer to her, “I’ll be fine. I promise.” …… When Bruce woke up the next morning it was late and Selina was already out of bed, which he realized when he turned and opened his eyes to find the spot where she’d been laying the night before, completely empty. “...Selina...?” he asked as he sat up a little and looked around the small room. “I’m here,” Selina said from a corner of the room where she was placing a bowl of milk in front of a small cat. “...What time is it?” “I don’t know; noon, maybe? You slept late. ...Alfred called earlier. You were totally out, you didn’t even hear it ring, so I answered. —I told him you’re okay, but he said he’s coming back to Gotham tonight.” Bruce sighed. He should’ve known that Alfred would cut his trip short as soon as he found out that Bruce wasn’t well — even if he wasn’t alone — and it made him feel a little guilty. “You feeling any better?” Selina asked as she crossed the room and sat next to him on the bed, placing the palm of her hand on his forehead to see if his fever had gone down since last night. “A little,” he said with a small shrug. It was a lie, but for once Selina didn’t seem to notice this. “Are you hungry?” “Not really?” “Good, ‘cause I don’t have any food,” the young woman said with a laugh. Bruce followed her lead and laughed slightly, which turned into a small coughing fit. “You don’t sound so good...” Selina said with a look of concern as patted his back gently. “It’s fine — just a cough.” “Do you want some water?” He nodded slightly and she stood up, heading over to the small table with the hot plate and grabbing a glass before going to the bathroom to fill it with water and then bring it back to the boy. “We should get you home,” she said reluctantly as he drank, “Alfred’s gonna be mad if you’re not there when he gets back tonight.” Bruce nodded a little again, though he seemed equally reluctant, “...I need to change first,” he said as he sat up. …… It didn’t take long for the two to leave the apartment and climb down the fire escape to the car. “Give me the keys — you’re still not driving,” Selina said and Bruce sighed but, surprisingly, did not argue. Instead he just reached into his pocket and pulled them out to give to her. “When I’m better I’m teaching you how to drive,” he said as he pulled open the passenger-side door. Selina rolled her eyes and gave him a small smirk, “Just for that I’m gonna go extra fast.” “Then you’re paying for the ticket you’ll inevitably get.” They both slid into their seats and Selina started the engine. “Bruce, we both know that you’re the one who pays for stuff in this relationship.” “So this is a relationship now?” the young man asked, giving Selina a small smirk. “...Shut up.” They sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the ride after that, small smiles on both of their faces. When they made it to Wayne Manor Selina went inside with Bruce, who was beginning to look as worn out as he’d been the night before. They made it into the study and sat down on one of the sofas. “...What is it about this room?” Selina asked, “Why are you always in here?” “It... makes me feel safe. Almost like... I can still feel my parents when I’m in here.” Selina smiled a little, sadly, and took his hand in her own, “That’s... really nice, Bruce.” …… They sat together for some time before Selina realized that Bruce was half-lying on the arm of the couch, his eyelids heavy. “...I should go,” she said as she stood up. “And you should go to bed,” she added. Bruce stood up as well, giving Selina a small smile, “You can stay if you want, Selina. You don’t have to go.” “I’ll come back in the morning, don’t worry.” She returned the smile and hesitated before leaning forward and planting a kiss on his lips. When she pulled away he was staring at her in happy surprise, and she could see that his cheeks were tinted pink, but she wasn’t entirely sure if he was blushing, or if it was just his fever. Selina smiled again and cupped one of his cheeks in her hand for a moment, tracing his cheekbone with her thumb, before pulling away and heading for the window while Bruce watched her go with a mixture of awe and amusement. …… Selina did come back the next morning, as she’d promised, although not in quite the manner Bruce had expected. He was sitting at the kitchen table, his head propped up on one hand as he stared down at a half-eaten plate of scrambled eggs and a mug of steaming tea. Alfred had insisted he eat breakfast, and Bruce agreed without complaint, still feeling guilty that he was the reason his guardian had cut his trip short. He was startled out of his train of thought when he heard Alfred calling him from the study, “Master Bruce, I think you’d better come and have a look at this.” Bruce sighed and slowly stood up, grabbing his mug of tea off of the table before making his way down the hall to the study. “Alfred, wha-?” he asked when he entered the room, but cut himself short when he followed Alfred’s gaze to the sofa nearest the window. Selina was lying on it, a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. “...Selina?” Bruce asked, as he sat on the edge of the sofa and gently shook her shoulder with his free hand, “Are you alright?” The girl groaned softly as she opened her eyes to look up at him. “...I hate you,” she said in a hoarse voice, a scowl on her face which became much less effective the moment she turned her head and sneezed into the armrest of the couch. Bruce smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry,” he said, “...But I do have to point out that you kissed me,” he added with a small smirk. “Not the point,” Selina said as she began to sit up, “...Does the offer to stay still stand?” “Of course. —You’re always welcome here. ...I like having you here, Selina.” The girl’s eyes widened when she realized that he had heard her admit that she liked having him around two nights earlier after all, and Bruce laughed slightly. “Shall I prepare a room for miss Kyle, then?” Alfred asked. He smiled slightly at the two. He had, of course, been skeptical of the young woman’s intentions when he’d heard that she was caring for Bruce, but seeing them together now, put his fears to rest — at least for the time being. There was no denying that there was something between the two, and this confirmed that they did, in fact, care for each other. Bruce looked back at his guardian, and smiled, seeing the approval in the older man’s expression. “Yes, thank you, Alfred.” “Very well, sir,” Alfred said to Bruce, then nodded to Selina with a, “Miss Kyle,” before leaving the room. “...I think he’s starting to like me,” Selina said with a small smile as she stretched her arms and laid down, resting her head on Bruce’s lap. He smiled down at her and combed through her curly hair with his free hand, bringing the mug he was still holding with his other to his lips and taking a sip of tea. “...If you get better before me, I’m gonna kill you,” Selina said after several moments of silence. “You do understand that scientifically, since I was sick first, I’ll most likely get better first.” “Don’t care,” she said with a cough, and Bruce shook his head with an amused smile. With her stubbornness, he didn’t doubt that she could force herself to heal before him; but in the meantime, he couldn’t be happier that she was here with him. —Even if they were both miserable, at least they would be miserable together.

[gch1995]

Rumbelle Happy Beginnings Conversations

I’m pretty sure that I posted this on ff.net before, and it’s still on there. Even though I didn’t watch season sucks, and I never ever will because the writing for both Rumple and Belle was so atrociously OOC, I still will always have a soft spot for Rumple and Belle, which was why I wrote this fic. I don’t really blame either of the characters for doing and saying wildly OOC fucked up and stupid things in 6A because it was so obvious that Adam and Eddy were deliberately trashing what little realistic integrity remained in Rumple and Belle’s individual characterizations and relationship together by making them look as uncharacteristically unhealthy as possible in canon with 6A, so that they could make Hook/CS look better after 5A, even though that was still objectively far worse, which was what I was afraid would happen to Rumbelle after 5x11 sooner or later, no matter how little sense it made, and exactly the reason why I quit watching after 5B.

Tbh, I wish that all of 6A could burn in a fire, and I already was losing respect for the writing of the OOC characterization of canon!Belle by the end of 4B. I kind of wish the show had just ended with 3x11.

But in 6A, canon!Rumple wasn’t just framed as an OOC cartoon villain to make Hook look better like in 4A or 5B, but he was framed as a wildly OOC mad cartoon villain with Belle, his true love, so that Hook could look better. I was tired, and I didn’t need to see that shit, so I quit. Not that Belle was behaving any better towards Rumple in 6A, 4A, or 4B by needlessly pushing all of his buttons almost every step of the way, but I knew that she wouldn’t be the one getting vilified in the narrative. I knew they would still just be the “blameless misguided hero” and the “abusive purely evil villain,” even though she said that “What have we done to each other” line, even though, objectively speaking, both Rumple and Belle have victimized each other from S4-S6 in some atrocious ways that I cannot excuse, even though every other remaining main character on this show would have been in prison or executed for at least one crime in real life by that point, and even though everyone else got away with abusing magic in ways that violated consent whenever it suited them, including the formerly truly heroic characters from S1-S3 like Belle.

And don’t get me started on how ridiculously desperate, gross, and sad the lengths that Eddy was willing to go to make Rumple look horrible. Really? Magic scissors? Playing the Evil Queen to kill Zelena and to protect Belle and the Rumbaby by getting the shears in a complete 180 after being sexually assaulted by her twice first, even though he never technically cheats people in deals, though he does toy with words to imply that he’s willing to give them what they want only to screw them over by giving them something that they didn’t expect in return when they become too desperate to notice the details.

I think he meant it when he told Belle “It meant nothing” and told the EQ that she was a pawn who meant nothing, and that he played the long game” when she didn’t kill Zelena for him, which makes me think he was never really going to bang her either way. Still, seemed kind of OOC for Rumple to “play the long game” with people in deals. He’s a manipulative shady bastard, but when he makes deals with people, they’ve generally always technically been fair, though he’ll scam them with loopholes that those who deal with him are usually to odesperate to notice. I didn’t really see much of a loophole in his deal with the EQ, though. His interest in her was obviously not serious, but this was so not his m.o., which was just bizarre...Plus, while he had used his sexuality to manipulate others before in desperate situations, the shit with the EQ just seemed over the top and bizarre, unless you consider the fact that he’s been sexually assaulted before I could see him doing that then, but we never really got his POV in 6A that much in that arc, so it just felt weird, and Regina had never shown any romantic interest in him before. I think Eddy threw it in for shock value because he was a gross misogynist who hated Rumple, Belle, and Rumbelle just as much as he hated women...I know people say that there were scripts of deleted scenes where there was more of a “romance” with the Evil Queen that Rumple had in earlier seasons. However, if that were really the case, then they should have shown us evidence of said “chemistry” back in season one, and like not ever set up Rumple in a legit relationship with Regina’s back in season two in the FTL. I’m pretty sure it was revealed that he tried to break the contract that he signed with Hades for his second born child back in season five, too, so he could have babies with Cora at one point in the FTL, which was OOC, considering how most of his attention was focused on finding Bae at that point, he actually knew that Cora’s kid would cast his curse,he knew that he would have to groom them to cast for him, and for all of Rumple’s faults he’d never try to corrupt his loved ones with dark magic, so this reveal made no sense...But yeah, he was this close to being Regina’s dad! So like this “romance” was borderline incest now...It’s a “family show,” my ass!

Nonetheless, I wrote this fic when I heard that Rumple and Belle got their blanket happy ending that retconned most of the character assassinations that never fully got explained or discussed on screen in 6B or S7 to try and explain them as sympathetically and in-character of a way as possible as to why Rumple and Belle were acting so off the rails. I know I might be harder on Belle, but the worst that Rumple had done up to 6x04 was lie to Belle. Before the character assassination to prop up Hook of 6x04, 6x08, and 6x09, he’d never been controlling, cruel, scary, threatening, reckless, emotionally manipulative, or restrictive towards Belle and her safety and well-being, and that only took place over a few days when they were both being made OOC to freak out over a dream baby in the narrative. If anything, Belle had been getting away with treating Rumple in those problematic ways for nearly three months in the narrative of their present day relationship now, and only in 6A was everyone in the GA losing their shit about how “abusive” the Rumbelle relationship was because Rumple was treating Belle poorly. By the end of 6A, they were pretty much on objectively even playing fields of who had been the worst in this relationship, but Rumple was still the only one who’s crimes and problematic behavior ever got emphasized as horrible. I wonder if it was also done partly because the writers were too afraid to call out Belle on her shit, too by 5B, so they made Rumple look just as bad, if not worse by having him overreact like a wildly OOC deranged jackass.

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now! Hope you enjoy this fanfic! I didn’t fix everything, or make sense of everything. In fact, most of this fic is self-comforting, and in character headcanons, rather than completely confirmed canon because season sucks will never make any more sense than the plot demanded it for Rumple and Belle to be written that way, but I tried, you guys...

"Rumplestiltskin walked into his pink Victorian house with Belle holding their son at his side.

"You know, I'm so proud of you, Rumple," Belle said softly, as Rumplestiltskin closed the door behind them, and they sat in the kitchen in the chairs next to each other. "But there's so much we need to talk about before we start over. Since Gideon is sleeping now, do you think we could talk here, right now?" She set Gideon down in his basket, took her husband's hands in hers to squeeze them gently.

"We can talk as long as you like, sweetheart," Rumplestiltskin said quietly, as he squeezed her hands back softly between his. Then, a flash of fear ran through him. "But you might not like everything you hear."

"Rumple," Belle said trying to clear the lump forming in her throat, lightly brushing the tears from the corners of his fearful brown eyes, her own growing suspiciously wet in the face of the pain that she had caused him by going back-and-forth to him so many times over in their relationship, "I promise that I won't leave, no matter how painful the truth may be to hear. I'm with you this time. I know that I haven't always proven that very well to you, but I mean it truly. I promise. Would it help if I asked you questions first?"

Rumplestiltskin nodded, pulling Belle into a tight embrace, and kissing the top of her head. "I'd like that," he whispered against the top of her head.

"Okay, what's the secret behind the haircut?" Belle asked hesitantly, lightly carding her fingers through her husband's shorn locks. "It's not bad, but it's not really you Rumple. In all the time I've known you, you've always kept it long. Why the sudden change?"

"I've always worn it long, even before we met, too," Rumplestiltskin said quietly, his voice trembling with tears, as he looked down at his shaky hands to avoid Belle's gaze.

"Then, why?" Belle asked a bit more forcefully, as she put a finger underneath Rumplestiltskin's chin gently to lift his face up to her level. "Please, Rumple. I promise I won't be angry with you, or feel ashamed of you. Tell me. Why did you cut it?"

"It was truly pathetic," Rumplestiltskin said, trying to hold himself back from outright sobbing, as the tears spilled over his cheeks. "It was supposed to be a cry for help. I thought you'd see it, see that I wanted to be better, and come back to me again. I said that you'd need me, but the truth is that I needed you. I didn't know how to tell you that anymore, though, and I was afraid to try."

"Oh, Rumple," Belle said gently, as she wiped the tears away from his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I should have known. I should have asked. But is that why you were with the Evil Queen? Had I truly broken you so thoroughly that you didn't want me anymore."

"No, no," Rumplestiltskin reassured Belle, gently squeezing her hands, hugging her close, and shuddering with disgust and terror at the memories of the kisses he shared with the Evil Queen, as he hung his head in shame. "That was something else entirely. It wasn't about love, companionship, desire, or a wish to move on, though."

"That wasn't how Zelena described it," Belle said a bit enviously as unbidden tears filled her blue eyes, and spilled over her cheeks.

"Belle, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Rumplestiltskin asked gently, as he brushed away her tears with the pads of his thumbs gently. "Please, tell me why you're crying? I didn't think it mattered that much to you at the time, but I promise you all I did was willingly kiss the Evil Queen twice, and led her on to believe it could be something more than what I intended to give her, so that I could get the shears, protect you and our son from her, and kill Zelena. What else exactly did Zelena tell you I did with the Evil Queen?"

"She made it sound like you two were having sex," Belle said brokenly as more tears filled her eyes, and she felt her voice breaking with sobs. "It's just that I thought I had lost you to the Evil Queen when Zelena told me that you two were together. Even if you had, I wouldn't have been truly held it against you for being involved with someone else because I had no claim on your heart at the time, but when I said I didn't care about how you two were together before, that wasn't entirely true. I-I was rather jealous, actually. If you say that you didn't lay with the Evil Queen, then I believe you. The way Zelena described it, though, made it sound like she had caught you two in the act. Were you planning to sleep with her? Did you want to? Did you enjoy what you were doing with her? I promise that I won't get angry and walk away, if you did. I loved you, I still love you, I'll always love you, and I know that I had no claim on your heart at the time. You were entitled to do as you pleased with whomever you liked at the time, but, please, I need to know. Is that darkness really what you wanted in a woman? Is that really what you craved?”

"Oh, Belle," Rumplestiltskin said with a voice full of regret as he cupped her cheeks gently, and brought her face close to his, so he could kiss her softly. "Sweetheart, no, of course not. That wasn't about love, companionship, or desire. That was about power play. I know I didn't give you much reason to trust me, I know I was being irrational, but you must know that I'll only ever love you. You're my light Belle. You and Gideon are my whole whole world. I never slept with the Evil Queen, and I was never going to be with her, even if she had killed Zelena for me first. You know how I can toy with words, so I made her believe I was willing to give her genuine affection. Do you truly think that I could ever betray our true love, betray you, and betray my own heart by sleeping with half a woman who meant nothing to me when you were still living in the same town and carrying our child? I just wanted her to give me the shears, I didn't want her to hurt you or Gideon, and I wanted Zelena dead because she could hurt me, she hurt you, she killed Bae, and she turned you against me. I know that I've given you no reason to trust me recently, but you must believe me when I tell you that the Evil Queen meant nothing to me. You, though, Belle, you mean everything to me, and I could never betray my own heart by giving it to another woman when it had belonged to you ever since that day you chipped that teacup in my castle. There truly is no reason for you to feel jealous of the Evil Queen, Belle.”

"Oh, Rumple," Belle said happily as she hugged him. Then, when she pulled back, still holding his hands in hers, she noticed how Rumplestiltskin's eyes looked suspiciously wet with unshed tears. She noticed how his lower lip seemed to tremble, and she noticed how he kept looking down, and fiddling with their intertwined hands. It was like he still was struggling to hide something from her about his whole deal with the Evil Queen that made him feel too uncomfortable to share with Belle because he thought it would make her feel ashamed of him.

"I believe you, Rumple," Belle said softly as she gently brought her hand to his cheek to comfort him by softly stroking it. "But there’s something more that happened between you and the Evil Queen that you're not telling me because you're afraid I'll be ashamed of you. The expression is written all over your face, but you don't have to worry about me leaving or getting angry, Rumple. I could never truly be ashamed of you because I love you, I know that you were scared, too, I know that you were hurt, too, and I know that I've abandoned you, judged you, and walked away from you when you've needed me most too many times now. Not anymore, not ever again. You're my husband, my true love, and my best friend. It's time I started acting like it again, so you can tell me anything, Rumple. I promise I won't think any less of you, or walk away."

"The first two times, she kissed me touched me, and invaded my personal space without asking permission..." Rumplestiltskin stammered quietly, looking down at his hands as he nervously twisted his hands together. "After what Zelena did to me by caging me, controlling me, and touching me, I-I froze up the first two times because the Evil Queen's advances reminded me of her the first two times she kissed me without my consent. I wanted to protect you and our son from the Evil Queen. She was always there, threatening mass destruction, and touching me, even after she gave me the shears. Then, I saw Zelena at Granny’s, and decided to lead the Evil Queen on in hopes of keeping you safe from her, and getting rid of Zelena. But I never intended to actually lay with her. I-I know that my decisions weren't wise, sweetheart, but I never was with the Evil Queen to hurt you. I wasn't with her because I wanted to be at all. She-she made me feel terrified by cornering me, though, and I wanted the shears…Then, I saw Zelena…How she could still be breathing, and get acceptance from everyone so easily after what she did to you, to Bae, it just makes me feel so-so angry. I don't-don't care about the fact that most of the town hates me, I don't need them. So long as I've got you and Gideon, I’m happy, but for Emma to act like Bae never mattered to her by forgiving his murderer so easily. For Zelena to use you as a pawn to hurt me…Belle, it just felt like no one ever truly cared about the ones I love. They'd let you get hurt, they'd sell you out for their own gain, they didn't care about Bae, and they didn't care about you or our son. I know I haven't proven myself much better to you, but you must know that I never meant to harm you, or our son. I only ever wanted to protect you and our son from myself, but I went about it in horrible ways and became the threat in the process, anyway."

Belle noticed that Rumplestiltskin started hyperventilating when he talked about the Evil Queen invading his personal space by kissing him, and her heart broke for him. She remembered how Zelena caged him, sexually abused him, and made him feel trapped. He was being assaulted by the Evil Queen, too. How dare that woman! But most of all, Belle felt angry with herself for never even bothering to ask Rumplestiltskin. Her true love couldn't even depend on her, and Belle hated herself for making Rumplestiltskin feel that way. How could Belle have been so blind?

Rumplestiltskin continued to look down at the ground as he tried to regain control of his breathing, and Belle gently tilted his chin, so that he would look up at her.

"Hey, shh…It's alright, Rumple, just breathe, I promise that you'll be safe from now on, so just breathe," Belle cooed softly, gently lifting his chin up, so that he could look at her, and stroking his hair to calm him in that way she knew he loved. “Just look at me, and breathe, darling."

Then, when his breathing calmed down, Belle pulled Rumplestiltskin close in a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around him, kissing his forehead, and pulling his head down to rest against her neck, so that he could weep softly against it as his shoulders shook with quiet sobs.

Belle felt her own eyes tearing up, as she felt Rumplestiltskin's quiet tears wetting her neck. If only she had pushed her husband a little more to talk to her! If only she had listened to him when he had tried to reach out to her, instead of running away! Rumplestiltskin had felt abandoned in his darkness and despair, the Evil Queen had approached him first, she had assaulted him, and she had made him feel trapped and frightened again just as Zelena had. While Belle could never excuse her husband's bad choices or his plans to use the shears by using Regina's dark half as a pawn, she was also beginning to understand why Rumplestiltskin would turn to blindly self-destructive behavior and go mad without any of her love and support when she knew that she was the only other person in Storybrooke who he could count on to listen to his suffering and understand. Yet, she had failed him when he needed her most.

"My Gods, Rumple!" Belle exclaimed sadly, her voice breaking through her own tears as he looked up at her, and she leaned her forehead against his own gently. "I'm so sorry! I should have let you just talk to me. I should have listened to you when you tried to reach out to me in the shop instead of running away. But you should have just told me that the Evil Queen made you feel scared and uncomfortable outright. I could have helped you. I would have helped you, and if worse came to worse I would have let you use the shears on our son as a last resort after he was born."

"I didn't want you to see me as weak," Rumplestiltskin said softly through his own tears as he pulled back a bit. "I didn't want you to feel ashamed of me for working with her because I felt it was the only way I could to use the shears, I felt it was the only thing that I could do to protect you and our son, and I felt it was the only way to way to kill Zelena. It wasn't love, desire, or even companionship that I had with the Evil Queen. I didn't even want that much from her. She was using me just as much as I was using her, but she wouldn't leave me alone, even after she gave me the shears. I was so afraid she would have hurt you and our child, if I didn't offer her what she wanted, and I wanted Zelena gone. But I never actually intended to sleep with the Evil Queen in the end either way. I was just trying to keep her away from you for as long as I possibly could to protect you and our son, and get rid of the woman who has been ruining my life ever since the day I was resurrected."

"Oh, Rumple!" Belle exclaimed brokenly, pulling Rumplestiltskin's head up to face her, so that he could look at her directly in the eyes, and so she could wipe away the tears with her thumbs. "I'm so sorry! I was wrong to not listen to you when you tried to reach out, and I was wrong to ever put you down as 'too weak to be good.' That was cruel of me, and I'm sorry. You're not weak. You're the most brave, loving, and selfless man I've ever met. Your capacity for good is so strong, and I'm sorry that I ever lost sight of that." "Even at your worst, you only meant to protect our son and me from the darkness," Belle said gently as she stroked Rumplestiltskin's cheek. "But you should have just told me that the Evil Queen made you feel afraid. You should have told me that she assaulted you, frightened you, and made you feel uncomfortable. If you had told me outright that the Evil Queen was assaulted you first, and had made you feel trapped and afraid, then I would have forgotten all about the plans you had with the shears. I never would have gone to Zelena for help. Instead, I would have strangled the Evil Queen's neck with my bare hands to keep you safe from her, heard you out, and helped you overcome your fears. I would have helped you find an alternative to the shears, and I would have tried to work with you to understand why our son seemed to hate you in a dream before you'd even done anything wrong."

"Well, I appreciate that my darling wife is just as feisty as ever," Rumplestiltskin chuckled softly with a smirk as he began stroking Belle's cheek gently in response to her telling him that she would have strangled the Evil Queen with her bare hands to protect him from her. Then, his tone turned into one of self-disgust, and remorse. "But Belle, I didn't give you much reason to trust me. I'm sorry, too, and sweetheart, going to Zelena for help wasn't your fault. I was behaving bizzarely, I was being insane, I overreacted in ways that were hurting you from the moment I trapped you on Hook’s ship. I had allied myself with the Evil Queen. I locked the door for a few days, and started creating that horrible bracelet in case you tried to run away as a back up plan. I threatened to speed up you your pregnancy when I caught you. Don't blame yourself for running away when you had every right -" Rumplestiltskin started to say.

"No, Rumple," Belle cut him off abruptly, putting a finger to his lips as she felt her eyes filling with tears, and she felt her voice crack with them. "I could have called you on my cellphone, and told you to open the damned door, so we could have talked! I could have made a deal with you that I wouldn’t run away if you agreed to only use the shears on our son as a last resort. I shouldn’t have gone to Zelena, but I was angry at you, I was scared, and I suppose some part of me deep down wanted to hurt you for shutting me out and kissing the Evil Queen by playing the role of the ‘blameless’ victim running away from the ‘horrid monster,’ rather than treating you as my equal. You weren’t in the right here either, but you’re notthe only one to blame for all our problems. Please, don't take all the blame when I was equally at fault for them, too, and I owe you an apology for doing and saying a lot of needlessly cruel and controlling things that hurt you, too, which go farther back than just a few days in our relationship since we reunited in Storybrooke. You've always said that you're the 'difficult one to love,' but I am, too. Yet you never gave up hope on me, even in your darkest moments. I'm so sorry, Rumple! You say that you don't always understand how I could ever love you, but how could you ever still love me?”

"Belle, how could I ever stop loving you?" Rumplestiltskin asked gently, looking at Belle with tender eyes, wrapping her in a tight embrace, and rubbing her back gently when he felt her shoulders start to shake with quiet sobs. He felt a lump grow in his throat when he felt the wetness of her tears against his neck. He’d done this to Belle. He’d hurt her first, and now she blamed herself. "You didn't do anything that I didn't start first by not being honest with you, sweetheart, so don't blame yourself for breaking me when I broke you first because I was a coward. Besides, you're the most amazing, brave, loving, selfless, and heroic-" Rumplestiltskin was cut off by Belle before he could finish.

"No, no, Rumple, stop it!" Belle sobbed by interrupting him abruptly and harshly as she put a finger to his lips to silence him, and pulled away from him as she continued to sob. "I haven't been truly brave, heroic, selfless for months now. I haven't been supportive, or loving of you for months now! Instead, I've been afraid, proud, hypocritical, childish, petty, selfish, unfair, controlling, demanding, unreasonable, unsupportive, and cruel to you so many times over in my fear to love you, even when you did really try to reach out to me for understanding with unconditional love, honesty, gentleness, patience, and support from the moment I started abusing that dagger, even when you didn't do anything that bad. So stop praising me! I don't deserve it from you anymore because you deserved so much better from me. I failed you and abandoned you when you needed me most, and I just can't bear to hear how I'm the light of your life, brave, or heroic when that hasn't been true of me for so long when it mattered the most.”

"Belle, love, it's alright," Rumplestiltskin said gently, pulling Belle close to him in a tight embrace, rubbing his hands against her back soothingly, as she continued to sob into his chest. He pulled her back slightly to look at her in the eyes, so that he could try to wipe the tears from her face with the pads of his thumbs. "I love you, I always have, and I always will, no matter what."

"But it's not alright," Belle said, sobbing as she put a gentle hand against Rumplestiltskin's cheek. "I've done horrific things to you that most people would never forgive, too, and I never even apologized to you, or took full responsibility for my bad choices from the moment I banished you. I don’t know what came over me. I'm sorry for ever using the dagger to control you. I'm sorry that I sent you to your knees before me, and used the dagger to banish you with nothing across the town line. That was wrong. I'm sorry that I refused to listen to you, or hear you out, like a petty child. I'm sorry that I refused to let you get a word in edgewise. I'm sorry that I refused to let you make a choice, or have a say in so many things that I should have treated as rightfully yours, including your own freedom, and the chance to name our son, even when you did try to reach out to me with love and honesty so many times, anyway. I'm sorry that I tried to kidnap our unborn child with Zelena's help when I should have just been considerate of the fact that she hurt you, hurt Bae, and ruined our lives so many times. She's a remorseless and wicked witch."

"I'm sorry that I ever went to Zelena for that stupid sleeping curse to try and stop the clock to give you enough time to stop Hades, then put myself under it without asking for your say on the matter first, and got us into this whole mess with Morpheus, the Black Fairy manipulating Gideon by working to turn us against each other, and our son getting kidnapped by your mother because I was too afraid to trust you," Belle continued on with tears choking her voice. "I'm sorry that I lashed out at you in the Underworld, controlled you with the dagger, gave you false hope, then rejected you again, anyway, and blamed you for the fact that I had darkened my heart to save you from Hades. I don't regret it, I never have, but I was being proud, childish, and insecure. It was my fault that everything had gone south with Hades in the Underworld because I wouldn't listen to you, and let you push Gaston into the River of Souls to save our family. I'm sorry that I was so cruel to you in the Underworld because I was afraid, afraid to let myself love you again, and then risk losing you to the darkness again, even though I saw that you were trying so hard to be more honest and open with me, giving me more love and patience than I ever deserved in return. I'm sorry, it's no excuse, but I was just scared, Rumple. The last time I had seen you with the curse, you had passed out in front of me, and the darkness had almost consumed your heart. I didn't want you to use dark magic for dark deeds, no matter how necessary they might have been, and no matter howwell-intended I know they always have been in regards to Baelfire, Gideon, and me. I didn't want to risk losing you to the darkness again. I'm so sorry Rumple. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't want to hurt you, I never have, but in the heat of the moment, in my blind and impulsive anger, fear, and desire to do what was right and whatever this awful town deems to be truly heroic, so long as you're their enemy, I abandoned my own bravery and ignored your pain and suffering because I was so scared that I wasn't good enough for you, for my mother, for our son, and for myself. I was blindly insecure and selfish in my pain, and I unfairly took it out on you, my true love, and the only one, who's ever truly loved and respected me for being me, or ever truly considered me a hero since my mother died. That's still no excuse for how I treated you, though, especially because I know what Zelena did to hurt you by controlling you with that dagger, and I, your true love, and last true friend and ally in this godforsaken town, hurt you by treating you as someone so beneath me, too. I should have known better than to ever control you with the the dagger! I should have known better than to refuse to hear you out, or allow you to get a say in anything, like a petty child, even when you did try to reach out to me with honesty and love so many times! I'm not saying that you went about things between us the right way, either, but the way I behaved was just as bad, if not worse. I triggered your breaking point by refusing to hear you out, using the dagger to control you, and by going to Zelena to try and kidnap our child from you. It wasn't my intention to hurt you by going to her, or even because I wanted to take Gideon away from you, but I was scared. I was angry with you, and she was the only other person in Storybrooke, who could open a portal, besides you.

I lashed out at you and abandoned you without ever asking what was wrong, or trying to be patient and understanding, even when you did try to reach out to me, and I'm sorry I was wrong, Rumple, But it took everything in me not to rush to your side, and hold you to make sure you were alright when I saw Zelena hurt you. I was so shocked. Then, when the anger wore down, I started to understand why you would want her dead. She hurt you, she hurt me, and she hurt Bae. Yet, no one ever seems to remember how awful she was to you, they sided with her, and they all condemned you, including me, your true love. I'm so sorry, Rumple. I know that she's ruined your life, ruined our lives, but I was scared. I'm sorry that I just stood there, and watched as she hurt you. I'm sorry that I ever said that I was anything like her. I didn't mean any of that. I've never wanted to hurt you, but I was angry, scared, and selfish. I was scared that you had completely abandoned the light. I was scared that you believed that I wasn't dark enough for you, and I was scared that you would hurt me and our son-"

"Belle, sweetheart, I'm sorry, too. My God, I'm more sorry than I can ever tell you for ever giving you reason to fear me again," Rumplestiltskin said, cutting her off, his voice cracking as his own eyes started filling up with agonized tears, and he gently cupped her cheeks between his palms, so that he could pull her close to him and softly rest his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry that I trapped you on the pirate's ship. I'm sorry that I put that cuff on your wrist to stop you from running away. Most of all, I'm so sorry that I panicked, terrorized you, and threatened to speed up your pregnancy. I know I have no excuse for the bad choices I made, but you must know that I never intended to harm you or our child. I never meant to make you feel frightened, worthless or trapped. I just wanted to protect you both from my enemies, and myself. But, instead, I got lost in the darkness, and became the threat myself in the process, anyway. I went about it in awful ways, I was a fool, I know that now, and I'm sorry. I was scared and selfish. I didn't know how else to get through to you, but I never would have sped up your pregnancy. I never actually intended to. I just didn't want to lose you or another child, sweetheart, and I-I needed to talk to you. I wanted for you to hear me out, and I didn't know how else to get you to listen to me. I know my behavior and my plans were inexcusable, selfish, and wrong. I know that I have no excuse. I that I drove you away, but you must know that I never meant to frighten you, or hurt you, or our child. I was such a monster, Belle, I'm so sorry! I've never felt more disgusted with myself than when I realized how terrified you were of me, and I promise that it will never happen again. But how you could ever trust me again? How you could still want to be with me ever again after treating you in those ways is beyond my comprehension! If it had been anyone else in my shoes doing and saying those horrid things to you that I did and said these past few days, I would have wanted them dead on the spot, and now I’m hardly any better than Hook, Regina, or anyone else who’s hurt you in the past. I imprisoned you, I was cruel, I frightened you, and I threatened to harm you. Belle what have I done to you? I’m beyond grateful for the fact that you somehow still love me, even after everything I’ve done, and I love you more than words can express, but if I wasn’t deserving of you to begin with, you’d be completely within your rights to hate me forever now. You’d be completely within your rights to never want anything to do with me ever again.

Rumplestiltskin started crying again then. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs. He kept swearing to never hurt Belle, yet even though he never meant to do it, somehow it kept happening, anyway. He tried to keep his face averted downwards from Belle's gaze, feeling ashamed, but she wouldn't have it.

"Shh, it's okay," Belle said, feeling her own eyes well up with tears all over again, and she pulled him close, so that she could shush him, and he could rest his face against her neck and weep. "What have we done to each other? We both were being idiots, Rumple. We've both been horrible to each other. I've done and said atrocious things to hurt you, too, and I've made you feel trapped too. I've hurt you and frightened you, too. I've acted like a monster that I didn't recongnize in the mirror with you, too. Most people would be wondering how I’m any better than Zelena, or Milah. Most people would have left me a long time ago, and never forgiven me in your shoes, too, Rumple. I'm sorry, too. I should have just talked to you when you tried to reach out to me. I'm not excusing your bad choices, either, but mine were just as bad. I'm sorry that I ever lost sight of the good in you, and I'm sorry that I ever called you 'too weak to be good.' I was wrong, Rumple. You're the strongest person I've ever met, and there's so much good in you. Your heart is just overflowing with so much true love, it always has been, and I'm sorry that I ever lost sight of that. I know that you would never intentionally harm me or our child, though, Rumple, and you’ll always let me go when I ask. That’s why I love you. That’s why your different from Hook and Regina, Rumple. I know that you'll make a perfect father to our son, and husband to me now.

Look, why don't we both call it even on having been the worst to each other at this point these past few months, and learn to forgive ourselves, too?” Belle asked ironically with a wry grin when Rumplestiltskin looked up at her with more anguished tears dripping from his eyes that she wiped away. “You weren’t the horrible villain you pretended to be, and I wasn’t the 'blameless' hero I pretended to be either. We were just two damaged people who kept trying to pretend we were okay to protect what we loved and what we believed in in the worst possible ways, but we didn't do it to be cruel on purpose. Those problems don’t have to define us, Rumple. We can start fresh now. We can learn to forgive not just each other, but ourselves. We will go and get counseling for help, and we will rebuild trust with time. This time, I will also be the best mother to our son and wife to you that I possibly can be. I promise that I won't just walk away again when things get rough. I promise you that I will be here by your side to listen to you and support you every step of the way, so long as you promise to be totally honest with me, and try your best."

"Oh, Belle, sweetheart, I love you, I love you so much, and you've given me far more love and patience than I could ever deserve, and that’s why you’ll always have my heart, even if you’ve got your flaws. That’s why there’s no comparison to you to Milah, or Cora, and you’d always give me my freedom back,” Rumplestiltskin told Belle, holding her to him like she was his lifeline as he tried to stop the silent tears from flowing down his cheeks, and he buried his face against her neck. "You always come back! I promise to be honest with you, and I want to be able to promise you that I'll always try my best. But I can't bear the prospect of ever failing you and our son again. I can't bear the idea of ever losing you again, but you know that old habits die hard for me, Belle. I'm afraid that I might mess up again. Do you still have any desire to travel the world?"

"Rumple, all I want is a life with you and our son," Belle said, as she leaned up to kiss the tears away from those beautiful warm brown eyes of his. " I'd love to travel the world with my wonderful husband and our son. Besides, don't you see? The fact that you realize your mistakes, and feel guilty over them means that you've learned from them."

"I want to believe that," Rumplestiltskin said, pulling away a bit to catch a chestnut strand of her soft hair that fell across her eyes to twirl it between his fingers. "But, Belle, sweetheart, I've been thinking for some time, and Storybrooke's not a good place for us to stay. We only ever seem to get into trouble here, and we keep making the same mistakes over and over again because this town is toxic."

"Rumplestiltskin, I couldn't agree with you more," Belle said with a smile, leaning in to kiss him again, and cupping his cheeks. "I've spent too much time in this town pretending that all of these people are my friends, and avoiding you. But I know that you're the only one in this town, who has ever truly loved and respected me for being me, rather than for what I can give you. The others only ever want me when they can use me for their own personal gain, and they often do it to hurt you. I've realized that over the past few weeks, and I'm sorry it took so long for me to real. I love you, I love you so much, and I'm with you forever. I promise. No more running back-and-forth to you this time. I promise to stay by your side, even when things get tough between us. But where would we go? Without your magic, won't your curse consume you outside of a realm with magic? I'm never going to force you to choose power over me, Rumple, but I can't lose you to the darkness again. I won't lose you to the darkness again."

"That's just the thing, Belle, I've been thinking that I've held the burden of this curse for too long," Rumplestiltskin said with a slow smile, as he squeezed her hands gently between his. "I don't ever want to hurt you again, or our son, and I feel like the temptation of magic living in Storybrooke will always be too difficult for me to escape because there will always be enemies and threats that I'll feel that I need to protect you from, but if you break my curse with true love's kiss, then we could leave Storybrooke together with Gideon in the land without magic."

"Rumple, sweetheart, are you certain about this?" Belle asked him, softly, as she cupped his cheeks in her hands, and brought his face closer to hers, so that her lips were lightly brushing against his. "You don't have to do this, if you aren't ready. I promise that this time, if you ever struggle with the curse, I'll be there to listen and help you every step of the way, so long as you keep working on being honest with me, and promise to try. I was wrong to always walk away before, and never listen, even when you did try to reach out to me. I always say to do the brave thing, and bravery will follow. But I haven't been very brave, lately."

"Oh, Belle," Rumplestiltskin said softly against her lips, as he nodded his head gently. "Yes, I'm certain, love. I want this. And even if you haven't always been perfect because you're human, you are still capable of being very brave and heroic. The most heroic and brave thing you've ever done was agree to live with an ugly man to save your people, and show him that true love and hope were still possible when he thought those things were no longer possible."

"Hey, now," Belle said disapprovingly, pulling away from him, so that she could gently stroke Rumplestiltskin’s cheek. "Rumple, don't put yourself down like that. You're brave, intelligent, caring, funny, protective, passionate, romantic, and you love more deeply and purely than anyone I've ever met." Then, she tugged him towards her gently by his tie, so that she could flirtatiously whisper against his lips, "And if you must know, I have always found my husband to be quite handsome, too. But before we do this, could I ask you to use magic for me one last time to show me something?"

"Belle, thank you. I don't deserve any of those compliments from you, but I still appreciate them," Rumplestiltskin said gratefully, as a faint blush colored his cheeks at Belle's flirtatiousness when she pulled him closer to her by his tie. Then, he reluctantly pulled away when Belle asked him to use magic for her one last time. "Of course, sweetheart. Anything that you wish for me to give you is my command. What is it that you want?"

"Could I see your heart?" Belle asked him hesitantly, as she brushed her hand against his cheek softly. "Don't worry, I promise I won't crush it."

"Belle," Rumplestiltskin said gently, as he cupped her face in his hands. "If there's anyone in the world, who I could ever trust to hold my heart in their hands it's you. But why?"

"Just trust me," Belle said softly, as she stroked his cheek with light fingers. "I want to tell you something important, and I want to be able to explain something to you that will be much easier for me to tell you with the physical weight of it in my hands."

"O-okay," Rumplestiltskin said nervously, as he thrust his hand into his chest to pull out his heart from his chest, and placed it into Belle's cupped hands.

"This is mine," Belle said, as she laid gentle kisses to Rumplestiltskin's heart that he could feel in his very soul." Just look at how beautiful it is. It's not perfect, but it's pure nonetheless."

"If I had actually gotten what I deserved, then there would be nothing left of my heart, but darkness, and I would be dead," Rumplestiltskin said self-deprecatingly.

"But I'm not a good man, Belle, and I still should have fought harder," Rumplestiltskin said with a sad sigh, as he covered his face with both of his hands. "Besides, I've done so many awful things, and I didn't lose the curse because I chose to give it up at the time. It was removed from me by force, then I took it back because I was weak, and I thought I had nothing left. Not every dark deed I've ever committed was pure and well-intended to protect the ones I love, as you think. I killed my first wife by crushing her heart because I was angry that she had abandoned Bae, and I wanted her to suffer for it at the time. I-I attempted to kill Henry, Bae's son, my grandson, just because I wanted to save my own skin. I killed Gaston by turning him into a rose, simply because I was annoyed by him, and I didn't even think much of it."

"Rumple, you-" Belle tried to reach out to comfort him, but Rumplestiltskin raised his hand to silence her.

"Please, sweetheart, let me finish," Rumplestiltskin said to her, his voice cracking with more tears, as he continued on. "Even the well-intended bad choices I've made still don't justify the means I've used. I was inconsiderate, scared, and selfish. My god, Belle, I was such a blind and heedless fool in my desire to keep you and our child safe from myself when nothing bad had even happened yet that I actually threatened to do something to you that I swore that I would never do! I was never going to actually speed up your pregnancy, I just wanted to talk to you, I was selfish, I was scared, and I didn't know how else to get through to you anymore. But I still cornered you in an elevator with the threat of it before your eyes, and terrified you! I promised myself that I would never give you reason to fear me ever again when I threw you out of my castle over thirty years ago back in the Enchanted Forest, if you ever came back to me, and I did, anyway, because I was afraid and selfish. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"Hey, it's alright. I forgive you. I never wanted you to be perfect, Rumple," Belle said softly, as she leaned in to kiss away the tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like you had to be. You've made bad choices and mistakes, but so have I. So has everyone. Besides, I know you truly regret doing most of those things. I know there's darkness in you, but there's so much true love and genuine remorse in you, too. That's what I mean when I say your heart is true, Rumple. Regina, Zelena, and Hook have never felt so much genuine guilt over their crimes, but you, Rumple, you do because you have a conscience. You would never intentionally harm the ones you truly love for your own personal gain, like Baelfire, Gideon, or me, and you feel genuine remorse for most of your crimes, whether they were well-intended or not. You'll sacrifice your own happiness and made dark decisions by taking the weight of the world on your shoulders, so that your loved ones don't have to. You've made selfish choices, but even then, there's generally also been some sense of nobility, purity, love, and selflessness mixed within most of those, too. That's what I mean when I say that your heart is true, Rumple. Besides, look at how much goodness has been sprouting in your heart since the curse was removed, and you took it back."

Rumplestiltskin examined his heart. Since the apprentice had removed the curse from Rumplestiltskin's heart and cleansed it of the darkness, and then he'd taken it back again, it had changed. It was still mostly a blinding white, he still sometimes felt empty and blank, but amidst several slivers of reemerging darkness, there were also several bright pink spots that were forming too.

"I love all of you, Rumplestiltskin, the light, the dark, and the in-between. I always have and I always will. I'm sorry that I ever lost sight of that," Belle said, as she placed several light kisses to his heart in both the light places and the dark places, and then gently held it out for him cupped in between her hands in an offer to take it back. "Now, here, take this this back, remember why your heart is worthy of love, and remember that it is mine. Before we break your curse, though, I do have to ask if Zelena will still be able to hurt your heart?"

"No, she won't have any power over me anymore, sweetheart. That deal we made for that potion which my heart from blackening further only applies, if I try to hurt her as the Dark One, but Belle, thank you. I…" Rumplestiltskin trailed off, as he squeezed her hands gently between his own. He really wanted to tell his darling Belle how much he appreciated her faith in him, how much he appreciated being given a second chance that he never felt deserving of, but the tears forming in his eyes and the lump forming in his throat at the beauty of her words were making it feel difficult to speak. He took his proffered heart from her hands, and gasped slightly, as he placed his heart back into his own chest. Then, he tried to tell her just how much her acceptance meant to him again, as he took her hands in his. "Belle, I-I…" Rumplestiltskin trailed off, as the tears started streaming down his face, and he felt his shoulders shaking with sobs, even though there was a ridiculously wide grin spreading on his face that made his cheeks start to feel sore through it all. He was so damn happy and emotional today that he just couldn't seem to get through most of it without crying.

"Shh, I know you're grateful, but it's true. Besides, you don't need to be talking for what I'm about to do next," Belle said teasingly pulling Rumplestiltskin close to her by his tie again, wiping away his tears, and melding her lips against his softly.

As soon as Rumplestiltskin felt Belle's lips meet his own, he was fervently kissing her back, licking the seam between her lips with his tongue, seeking entrance into her mouth, and she was opening her mouth to welcome him. Suddenly, he felt the warmth of magic flowing through him, and the darkness of the curse in his heart felt a bit lighter. True love's kiss was working. Belle pulled back to look at him for a bit, but then he brought his lips back to her mouth, and whispered the words "Kiss me again, it's working."

"Really? Oh, Rumple, I love you. I love you so much!" Belle said excitedly, as she leaned back in to kiss him again with happy tears filling her cerulean eyes.

Rumplestiltskin continued to kiss Belle back passionately, as he felt the rest of the curse being lifted away from his heart. Then, he stumbled a bit, as he felt his limp returning, but he didn't care. He had his true love and their child by his side. He felt happier than he had in a long time, and he actually felt hopeful.

"Are you alright, Rumple?" Belle asked, as she grabbed his arm to keep him steady, so that he wouldn't fall over, and pulled him close to hug him. "It worked! How do you feel?"

"I'm more than alright, sweetheart," Rumplestiltskin said softly, resting his head against Belle's forehead, as a wide smile spread across his face. "I feel happy. Happier than I have felt in a long time."

"Here," Belle said, leading Rumplestiltskin by the hand to sit in a chair at the kitchen table. "Sit here for a moment, while I go and fetch your cane for you from the living room. Then, we can go upstairs to put Gideon in his nursery, and go to our room to sleep together."

"Our room? Sleep together?" Rumplestiltskin asked softly. "Oh, Belle, are you sure you want me back?"

"Rumplestiltskin," Belle said, sitting down in his lap, being careful to avoid his bad leg, cupping his cheeks gently between her hands, and wrapping her hands around the back of his head to bring him close to her, so that she kiss him deeply. "We just shared true love's kiss. We've been together countless times before, and I've never regretted being with you. We have a child. Besides, I've missed my husband. I want to feel what it's like to be yours again, I I want to feel what it's like to have you inside me…Unless, that is, you don't want me…"

"Don't want you? Belle, sweetheart, I'll always want you, and I've missed being with my little wife in bed" Rumplestiltskin said, pulling her close, smiling, as he leaned in to kiss her, seeking entrance to her mouth with his tongue against her lips again.

Belle melted into Rumplestiltskin's kiss, opening her mouth to give his tongue entrance to her mouth, exploring the caverns of his mouth with her own, and getting lost in the combined sounds of their low moans of pleasure. Then, Rumplestiltskin pulled back from the kiss as Belle tilted her head to the side to expose the creamy expanse of her neck for him to kiss, and he pulled his head down to her neck, so that he could kiss her there. Rumplestiltskin wasted no time in hesitating from what his sweet wife was silently requesting of him, nipping tender kisses up the side of her neck with his teeth and tongue, and then sucking on that spot just below her earlobe that he knew drove Belle wild, long enough to leave a mark.

"Oh, Rumple! Oh, Rumple!" Belle said breathlessly, holding him close, but then she remembered that they had a newborn baby, who they still had to put in his nursery, and she pulled him back to look up at her. "That feels so wonderful, darling! I've missed my husband, and we shall continue this in our bedroom upstairs, I promise. But we should put Gideon to bed first."

As Belle went to grab his cane, Rumplestiltskin peered down at Gideon in his basket. He was breathing deeply, fast asleep, and Rumplestiltskin leaned down to kiss him softly on the forehead. He was so lucky to have his true love and his son back, and he never thought that he would get the chance.

"Here you go," Belle said, as she handed him his cane. "Now, let's go upstairs, put Gideon to bed, and then go and have some fun together."

"Sweetheart, I'd love nothing more," Rumplestiltskin said with a smile as he grabbed the basket with Gideon in it with his free hand, and he and Belle walked upstairs together.

~Finis~

[hmsannlett]

Hi, anon again here! :) I have a few questions - I hope you don't mind! 1) In your opinion, would it be naive to imagine it possible for Mary Woodhull to keep in touch with Major Hewlett? The reason I'm asking is because in the show finale Abraham knows what happened to him "he became a great man of science and married... :(" If not Mary, what is your theory about how Abraham knew that? 2) Do you think MBTI is a good tool to use in order to write from a character's perspective? Thank you!

Hello! I don’t mind at all!

Hmm…that’s a good question. Hewlett and Mary’s relationship post-S4 is something I’ve tried to mentally suss out for my own fic. Hewlett treats Mary with a great deal of respect throughout the show, and up until things come to a head between him and Abe at the end of S2/beginning of S3, she seems to respect Hewlett as well. And they seem to have a sweet little friendship after she moves to Whitehall (if somewhat one-sided because Hewlett doesn’t know the secrets that she’s hiding from him).

But, of course, everything implodes once Abe gets outed as a spy, and Mary says that she’s willing to let Abe kill Hewlett if doing so will keep Abe safe.

However, we never get to see what things are like between Mary and Hewlett after the Annlett wedding disaster, when Hewlett is no longer a threat to Abe. That’s the end of all Mary/Hewlett interaction until S4, when Hewlett goes back to Setauket to collect Abe’s debt to him. It’s an unpleasant note to press pause on, certainly—though, IMO, Mary’s seeming indifference toward Hewlett’s life was never about him as a person, but rather about what he represented and threatened as the highest-ranking military authority in Setauket.

But when Hewlett returns to get (and then sell) the deed for Whitehall in S4, it is personal for Mary. She’s upset that he’s taking what belongs to their family and should stay within their family. His actions are no longer bound by his duty to his role as a major; they’re of his own volition. In her mind, he’s choosing to take what belongs to her family and, in doing so, leave them very near destitute. So I think there would be some lingering bitterness on her part, at least until she and Abe got on steadier ground financially.

I think it’s possible, though, that Hewlett might initiate contact with Mary after he makes it to Scotland, perhaps out of some eventual guilt about having taken and sold Whitehall, given the soft spot he has for Mary throughout the show. And I certainly think Mary/Hewlett correspondence is more believable than Abe or Hewlett initiating correspondence to each other!

Honestly, though, that part of the epilogue has always bugged me because I’ve never found any logical reason why Abe would have any idea that Hewlett gets married (though yours is a good theory!). Are we supposed to believe that Hewlett just decides to pen a note to the man who tried to murder him multiple times, just to let Abe know he got married and that Abe wasn’t able to screw this wedding up? Frankly, I think Abe’s narration about Hewlett’s marriage is more to tie up loose ends than anything else, and to give Hewlett a happy ending (something the show's writers wanted), regardless of whether or not it actually makes sense within the narrative.

Re: MBTI, it can be. It’s been some time since I’ve ventured in MBTI circles, but it can be a good way of probing characters’ minds. It could be beneficial to use it as a baseline to measure your ideas for characters' choices/actions against and see if they fit. Of course, as you probably know, it can be tricky to type characters, and people always have different opinions about characters’ types. So, with that in mind, I would use it as one of several tools, just because it can be hard to pin characters down and find the right box for them to fit in.

Hope this helps! Feel free to shoot me another ask with your thoughts!

[larksinging]

okay maybe try doing that morality scale thing for your characters, as best you can?

this is gonna be long, and complicated

e-1 laurel goes at the top tbfh but shes not on denny so she doesn’t get a writeup but, cmon

i guess i would probably put veronica here? she’s a good person, but specifically because she feels compelled to try and help out other people and help fix problems when she sees them. granted, for the most part, those problems are on a much smaller scale than a lot of my other muses, but… also she gets away with some of the stuff she did because she was an unwilling accomplice so as awful as they were, it wasn’t of her own agency. what puts her on the top is that she has the strictest no-kill policy along with heroic tendencies. a lot of my characters have one or the other, or shades of both, but veronica’s ranking in both those categories is the highest. so. 

next would be… maive, probably. she also is pretty aggressively helpful and doing good (at least, she’s very openly critical of societal injustice and people using their power against others). she gives people advice and reassurance more than you’d expect, actually. and legends is helping keep the timeline in tact, so that’s a good thing. the problem is that she has a much more flexible rule on killing. where she came from was super harsh and while she’s not into her old pack’s killing for funsies method, she won’t really hesitate on killing someone really awful. like at this point, having jack killed is totally okay in her books. plus she’s very influenced by sara, who has a similar “kill if really necessary” outlook, so 

i debated whether winter or maive would go higher, but i think maive ranks above winter. winter will occasionally do heroic stuff and try to help people, or at least stop people causing problems, but i think he’s a bit less determined to do good and does so less frequently. he’s probably a little less willing to kill than maive, but wof in general is pretty brutal and killing people when only necessary is almost tame by pyrrhian standards. 

mothpaw probably goes next. fight cats are… difficult, and its mostly the way in which warrior morality is so different from everything else that she ranks here. because on the one hand, the system she upholds allows for fighting and driving off people outside of the clan and even killing on occasion. but on the other hand, mothpaw herself is a doctor. she doesn’t participate in that, and she’s pretty peace-oriented in general. as far as fight cats go shes probably one of the best, because she is so aggressively a sweet med cat

this is really where it gets complicated. i’m… gonna put maria here, yeah. maria is a pretty solid neutral on the morality scale. she’s not a bad person by any means, and can be nice enough. but she’s also not really inclined to go out of her way to help people. or… most of it is just the scale of her experiences and actions doesn’t really work in a morality system that involves intense heroics and villainous deeds. she’s just kind of a normal person, morally? she can be nice and has a soft spot for kids. she’s Decent. 

the last three i had to rank by using a scenario one of them was in and figuring out what all of their reactions would’ve been. the litmus test is based on nyssa and talia’s s5 interaction where someone who wronged the character (but not extremely, like not “killing loved ones” level) is at the character’s mercy and taunts the character to kill them.

nyssa goes at the top of the bottom rung. yeah. her moral code is a mixup of the league’s moral code (which is very lawful evil) and some more standard morality that she probably picked up from… well, the lances. so while she has no real qualms about killing people, she doesn’t do so unnecessarily. she’s backed off of her more extreme league-y tendencies and, on denny especially, generally doesn’t kill, but she’s still extreme by a lot of people’s standards. on a personal level she can be pretty supportive and helpful, but she can also be petty and spiteful. she was the basis for the litmus test, in which case she just knocked talia out. technically that was s5, but eeh s4 nyssa is basically the same as s5 nyssa

next is actually laurel! hey good job, laurel. you aren’t the bottom. so laurel can do some pretty awful things, but she’s also highly pragmatic and just oriented around survival and self-preservation. so those awful things are rarely as extreme as someone bound by an evil code or for funsies (unless she’s doing things FOR someone like that, like zoom). even at her worst she doesn’t like torture and doesn’t really kill willy nilly (she may be able to justify killing a guard, because that seems “necessary”, but not someone random or acting on an old grudge). left to her own devices, she generally doesn’t even like to kill. and on denny especially, where she hangs out with a good crowd, she’s reigned back to the legends “kill bad people if necessary” place. and she does help people! she can even be self-sacrificial if it’s someone she cares about. she’s still pragmatic deep down and has a tendency to compartmentalize and dehumanize people who aren’t… directly interacting with her, but. as for the litmus test, she might be veeerry tempted to kill them, but she could be talked down from murdering without too much effort, so. 

and last is ivypool. this was hard, since, cat morality! since yeah she may be very loyal but the code and clans itself is kind of tricky morally. plus ivypool herself is… willing to do some intense stuff for the sake of the clans. the difference between her and most dark forest cats like tigerstar is she is interested in preserving the clans as they are, and not seeking power for herself or reshaping the clans somehow. but she would kill or lie to get what she wants. mostly this was picked because given the litmus test, i think she would kill them. the closest example is probably her telling thistleclaw and snowfur to run or she’d fucking murder them. so. congrats, ivypool, you’re my edgiest character!