#Abigail is the Goldilocks of dads

[vigilantempathy]

Canonically, Hannibal Lecter is secretly housing both Abigail Hobbs AND Abel Gideon for much of Season 2. Can someone write the crackfic of those two being reluctant housemates?

Featuring Abigail quipping about how she thought skipping college (because her bio dad killed girls at every school she applied to) meant skipping roommate drama?

Or Abel Gideon trying to intimidate her out of leaving her wet towels on the bathroom floor by describing his serial murders and Abigail being like, “bitch, please, my first dad was the Minnesota Shrike, my second dad killed my first dad, and my third dad is the Chesapeake Ripper and the reason we have to share a bathroom.” And Abigail getting to leave her wet towels wherever she wants as a result?

Abigail passive-aggressively asking for second helpings of Gideon’s limbs when he pisses her off at the dinner table?