#Aaron Hotchner fluff
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chithereader · 2 days ago
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stir crazy / aaron hotchner
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pairing: aaron hotchner x f!reader
word count: 2k
genre: fluff/angst if you squint
cw: omniscient pov, hotch being vulnerable
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“My agent has been asking me for the manuscript but it’s just not ready yet. And I’ve still got my day job that keeps me busy enough,” It’s a quiet day at the BAU. No urgent cases or serial killers, just a few feet worth of case files. Leaning against Reid’s desk, Rossi, Emily and boy genius himself have been talking about the next big David Rossi book.
“Oh c’mon, I see you typing away in your office and writing in that little notebook of yours– which I know is for your drafts by the way,” Emily teases. Rossi shrugs it off with a soft smirk and looks to the boy genius who has been uncharacteristically quiet for the past few minutes. 
“Nothing to say, kid?” lowering his head to catch the young man’s preoccupied eye but Reid’s sight is incredibly glued far away. 
It took Reid a good 6 seconds to realize he’s kid before he shakes himself out of the trance and answers, “Well, considering the hours he’s spent typing on his personal laptop as opposed to the office computer and adding the minutes he allots on the jet to jot down on his writing notebook– assuming he’s writing in a similar format to his previous books–  I’d say….you’re actually well into the third chapter of your manuscript.” 
Still with his eyes trained on whatever caught his attention in the first place, Reid unsurprisingly impresses Rossi again because he is indeed a little over halfway into the third chapter.
But Rossi and Emily instantly become interested with what or who Reid has been staring at for the past minute, noticing that even when going off on his boy-genius tangent, his stare had been focused somewhere else. 
Reid jumps in his seat a little as the two level their heads on either side of his to see where his gaze has been glued. He had been so focused on figuring out the worrying sight and what caused it that he hadn’t noticed how much of him wasn’t aware of his surroundings. 
To their surprise, they’re met with a seemingly everyday sight: Hotch, in the pantry, stirring his coffee. And by everyday, they mean that to any passerby they’d think this is incredibly normal. Nothing at all out of place or out of character. 
But to the trained eye- to profilers who also spend almost everyday with the man, they slowly see what Reid must have seen. 
Hotch is stirring his coffee. But he doesn’t even put sugar or creamer in his always black coffee. 
He’s doing it absentmindedly. Literally looking lost in his head. Hotch is a busy guy, a busy boss guy, with millions of things to think about, but Hotch is never absent. His movements are always purposeful, precise, and calculated. Never lacking and never excess. 
Hotch has his head tilted down and to the side. Like a perpetually confused puppy. One of the things that make Hotch Hotch is his posture. His rigid, firm posture. Back always so straight, hands always clenched, jaw always tight– Hotch is never just there, his presence alone is commanding. 
And worst of all, Hotch’s hair is neat. Too neat. Okay, Hotch’s habit of being neat -with his pressed suits and shined shoes no matter where he is- naturally extends to how he styles his hair. Over the years, he’s learned to gel it out of his face for both convenience and aesthetic. But this neat- this neat looks a little too flat and ruffled at the same time. Like he’s run his hand through it a hundred times in a matter of minutes. 
So Rossi and Emily finally understand. The two share a look of understanding, while Reid looks up at them with curiosity and a little worry. 
“Do you guys think he’s.. okay?” Reid asks quietly with a little grimace. He looks between the two, trying to figure out what they’re thinking, “I mean it has been exactly 12 minutes that he’s been stirring nothing into his coffee.” 
“12?!” If Emily had any sort of drink in her mouth, she surely would have spat it out all over Reid–for which he is silently thankful she doesn’t because as much as he adores Emily, he’s just not mentally prepared for… well that. 
Finally, there’s movement in the pantry. Unaware of his colleagues now watching his every move, Hotch wakes up from the trance he was trapped in and quickly retreats back into his office with his now-cold cup of coffee. 
Knowing that Rossi’s the only one to easily get through to Hotch, Emily and Reid turn to look at him, wordlessly nudging him to check on the poor man who spent 12 minutes stirring his painfully plain black coffee. 
Raising both his hands as he stands from where he was leaning, Rossi surrenders “Alright alright! But I am not telling you rascals what he tells me in confidence.” pointing at the doe-eyed pair. 
Rossi lets the possibilities run through his head as he walks up the stairs to Aaron’s office. Maybe Jack’s having trouble with that one kid again– what’s his name? Or maybe Jack’s having trouble with Mothers’ Day coming up. That’s never been easy. But the stirring and staring into space and the hair? What could possibly– Knock knock. 
Rossi doesn’t even wait to hear Aaron’s voice. He pushes the door open to be greeted with the sight of Aaron finally looking a little more him: writing on his desk knee-deep in case files. 
Aaron looks up for a second and continues writing reports, “What can I help you with, Dave?” Putting extra pressure on penning that last period before closing the case file and grabbing another to open. 
Dave stays quiet for a bit and takes in the sight. Looks fine to me. But his silence halts Aaron’s writing and he looks up to Dave who’s just studying him by the door. 
“You know you can sit right?” Aaron stoically jokes. 
And a joke?! Dave finally cracks and sits down to say, “Boy genius just watched you stir your coffee for 12 minutes which we all know is black. Your hair’s messy and too fixed at the same time, you were standing in the pantry just minutes ago glaring into nothing. And you were slouching with your head tilted to the side.” 
“Honestly whatever it is, it’s none of my business but you just scared two members of your team and I think this may be the seed of doubt in your leadership skills because you’re finally not a robot.” It was obvious that Dave was trying to play it cool, masking concern with humor and sarcasm. 
But Aaron is a painfully private guy. He’d think it over for days before he decides to open up or seek advice from a close friend. Only he has thought about it for days and not saying anything’s been driving him insane he genuinely feels like he could implode at any second. 
Aaron takes one big breath and through clenched teeth he grumbles out, “It’s a she.” Finally staring Dave straight in the eyes, he clarifies, “the it in whatever it is is a she.” 
Realization and more worry hits Dave at the same time which Aaron clearly sees on his face. But Rossi quickly recovers and gives Aaron a soft, comforting smile, “Well what’s so bad about your she that’s got you so shaken up?” 
In Dave’s head, he’s already preparing responses for the worst: 
She doesn’t approve of my job. Well she can suck it. This is who you are. 
Jack doesn’t like her. Aaron, the one thing I like about kids is that they give it to you straight. I think you should take that as a sign
She’s not comfortable with the age gap. She’s way older. She’s way younger. I’m scarred in more ways than one. I’m not sure I still know how to– 
Aaron could see the increasing concern in Dave’s face, “I just–” he started. 
Dave’s thoughts were cut short by Aaron’s voice, thankfully because his mind was starting to reach the point of no return. Anticipating Aaron’s explanation, he leaned forward in his seat trying to read Aaron’s expression. 
“A few months ago, I’d stay here. After a case, when I know my son’s fast asleep and Jessica’s with him- I’d stay here.” Dave kept quiet, intently listening and trying to piece together where this could possibly go. 
“I would choose to stay here and finish reports, make a dent in the never-ending pile of case files because when I’m focused on helping others, I don’t have time to think of how alone I am.”
Before Dave could try and quell this ‘alone’ sentiment, Aaron quickly follows it up “I love my son. And he’s always been more than enough. And I have the team but… you guys have people to come home to. Arms to fall into at the end of a grueling day.” 
“For the longest time, since Haley.. I haven’t allowed myself to feel. To want. And if I’ve just been honest then it’d be known, I want to be loved. All that I carry, I drop all of it at the door and then there’s just this exhaustion that hits me. And all I want is for someone to hold me.” 
Dave takes all of this in, feeling an immense amount of love and sadness for his friend who deserves nothing but happiness but hasn’t for the longest time allowed himself the one thing that can give him that. 
“I know you think that getting into a relationship makes you a bad father, splitting the only time you have left with someone else instead of your son. But the truth is Aaron, Jack’s growing up. He has his sleepovers, camps, and football now. Soon he’ll leave for parties and college, and as much as he adores you he’ll have his own family.”
“I know. And then I’ll be alone.” Aaron’s voice starts to sound rough. Like this fact’s caught in his throat and he can’t speak. Dave studies Aaron and considers all the things he knows are holding Aaron back.
“So give it a shot.” Dave insists. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just set a date, and show up.” 
Aaron looks at Dave pointedly, “You make it sound easy–” “You make it sound hard.” 
Aaron appears to recover. He smoothes a hand over his tie and straightens his back yet again. In an instant, he’s back to looking stoic and stern with brows furrowed and eyes glaring.
He’s not used to being vulnerable, even in the privacy of his own office. Feeling like an open book for others to read makes goosebumps trail up his spine- in a bad way. Dave quickly reads this and decides to lighten the mood. 
“So…. when will we meet her?” Dave asks smugly. 
“Funny.”
“I understand.. your concerns. But I don’t think you’d be so worried about it if you weren’t already serious about her. So, what’s really going on with her?” 
Aaron thought he could get away without revealing much about her. He’s uncomfortable enough talking about himself, and all the more protective he is when it comes to you. Especially as someone who wants to keep your little world away from the harshness of everything else–
He sighs. He knows Dave is relentless and as payback for his concern, he decides he has to give Dave something. 
“I don’t know. Really. I don’t– I told you one day I’m tiring myself out so I don’t have to come home and process my empty bed as empty..”
“Now I’m tiptoeing in my own kitchen so as to not disturb this crazy singing person washing my dishes while my kid wipes the plates. And I watch them for god knows how long, instead of going up to my office to attend to case files whose deadlines are a bit too close for my liking.” 
“I don’t know,” Aaron shrugs. A soft, weak smile grows on his lips at the memory of you.
Dave stands from the seat, a knowing smirk on his face, “Hmm.” Teasing Aaron as he walks to the door and grabs the handle. 
“I think you’ll be just fine, Aaron. Just fine.” 
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hoe4hotchner · 4 hours ago
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Rebecca!!! Can i request Aaron Hotchner + taking care of his kid (girl or boy) who is sick and super clingy but in a cute way ? and just him being a soft, cute dad? 🥰 thaank you!🩷
Under the weather | [A.H]
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Pairing: Girl dad!Hotch | WC: 0.7k | CW: Undisclosed illness, fever, emotional vulnerability…. fluff
A/N: Raph!!! This turned out so cute!!!! OMG I LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH. Also dying a little at girl dad!hotch
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Aaron Hotchner was no stranger to long nights. Sleepless hours in the office, mountains of paperwork, or lingering over cases that refused to crack — those, he could handle. But the sight of his daughter curled up on the couch under a quilted blanket her grandma had made, her flushed cheeks pressed against her favorite stuffed animal, was something entirely different.
She looked so small, her cheeks standing out against her otherwise pale complexion. She was young but already had her father’s stubborn determination — she’d tried to insist earlier that she wasn’t sick, that she could still go to kindergarten. The glassy look in her eyes and her pitiful cough had told him otherwise.
Aaron put down the cup of lukewarm tea he’d made for her and crouched beside her. The weight of his knees pressing into the carpeted floor didn’t bother him nearly as much as the sight of her miserable expression.
"Hey, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice soft enough not to startle her.
She blinked slowly, her big, watery eyes fixing on him like he was some weird creature. She sniffled and let out the tiniest whimper before reaching up a hand, her fingers trembling as they clutched at the sleeve of his shirt.
"Daddy," she croaked, her voice was barely audible through her scratchy throat.
Aaron’s heart twisted at the sound. He reached out, brushing gently over her damp forehead. Her fever wasn’t dangerously high, at least not high enough for him to rush her to the ER (yet), but it was enough to sap her energy.
"I’m here, baby," he reassured her. "How are you feeling?"
Her bottom lip trembled before she whispered, "Bad."
Aaron didn’t hesitate to lean closer, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I know, sweetheart," he said gently. "But we’re going to get you feeling better, okay? Want to cuddle for a bit?"
She nodded immediately, her tiny arms stretching toward him. It was rare for her to be this clingy; usually, she was an independent little whirlwind, who needed constant supervision when out, or else she would wander off. Yet tonight she was all fragility and softness.
Without hesitation, Aaron slid his arms under her, lifting her as carefully as he could, almost as if she were made of porcelain. The quilt wrapped around her slipped slightly, and he tugged it back into place, cocooning her in its warmth. She burrowed against his chest, her cheek pressing into his shoulder, her breaths coming in uneven little puffs against his neck.
"You’re warm," she mumbled, her voice muffled by his shirt.
Aaron chuckled softly, adjusting her weight so her head rested against the crook of his neck. "That’s because you’re a little heater right now," he teased his tone was light despite the ache he felt seeing her like this.
He carried her to the armchair by the living room window, settling into it carefully so she wouldn’t be jostled. The chair creaked faintly under him, but she didn’t seem to notice. She curled into him like a kitten, her arms winding around his neck as if letting go wasn’t an option. Her bunny was wedged between them, its stitched smile poking out from under her chin.
Aaron leaned back, one hand supporting her while the other ran through her soft, damp hair in slow, rhythmic strokes. Her sniffles quieted, and he could feel her body begin to relax against him, though the occasional raspy cough reminded him that she wasn’t out of the woods yet.
"Daddy?" she murmured.
"Yes, my love?" he answered immediately, his lips brushing the crown of her head.
"Will you stay with me forever?"
The question was so small, so heartbreakingly sincere, that Aaron felt his chest tighten. He cradled her just a little closer, his hand rubbing gentle circles on her back.
"Always," he said softly, his voice firm despite the lump forming in his throat. "I’ll always be here for you. No matter what."
She sighed, a content little sound that warmed him even as she snuggled deeper into his chest. "Promise?" she whispered, already teetering on the edge of sleep.
Aaron rested his cheek against her hair, the faint scent of her strawberry shampoo still lingering from her bath earlier despite the sweat from her fever. "I promise.".
As he rocked her gently back and forth. His phone buzzed on the coffee table — a work message, no doubt — but he didn’t even glance at it.
Work could wait. The world could wait.
Tonight, all that mattered was his little girl in his arms, and he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.
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jacqueline-01 · 15 hours ago
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Safe in the Storm
Word Count: ~800
Genre: Fluff/Comfort
The BAU jet hummed softly as you leaned back in your seat, exhaustion tugging at your eyelids. Another case closed, another monster behind bars. It was always satisfying, but tonight felt heavier than usual. Maybe it was the long hours or the biting chill of the rain outside, but you couldn’t shake the weight pressing on your chest.
You glanced across the aisle to find Aaron Hotchner, the ever-composed team leader, reviewing paperwork. His brow furrowed slightly as he scribbled something in the margin, the dim cabin lights highlighting the sharp planes of his face. He hadn’t looked up since the plane took off, and you weren’t surprised—Hotch rarely let his guard down, even with the case closed.
“Hotch,” you called softly, just loud enough for him to hear.
He looked up, his dark eyes meeting yours. “Yes, Y/N?”
“You’re working. Again.”
His lips curved into the faintest smile, a rare sight that made your heart flutter. “Someone has to.”
You rolled your eyes. “The team is practically passed out, and the paperwork can wait until tomorrow. You should get some rest.”
Hotch set down his pen and leaned back, studying you for a moment. “You don’t look much better, you know.”
“Touché.” You sighed, turning to gaze out the window. The rain streaked across the glass, lightning flashing faintly in the distance. “I just… can’t relax tonight. It feels like it’s all catching up with me.”
“What’s catching up with you?” he asked, his voice gentle now, the sharpness of his professional tone replaced with something softer.
You hesitated, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “Everything. The cases, the long nights, the fear that we won’t get there in time one day. It’s like… there’s always another storm coming, and I can’t stop bracing for it.”
Hotch’s expression shifted, the lines around his eyes softening. He set his file aside and moved to sit in the empty seat beside you. The warmth of his presence made you feel a little less untethered.
“You’re not alone in this,” he said quietly. “The storm is always there, but we face it together. And when it feels like too much, you can lean on me.”
Your breath hitched at his words. Hotch had a way of speaking directly to your heart without even realizing it. You turned to him, searching his face for something you weren’t sure you could name.
“I don’t want to be a burden,” you murmured.
“You could never be a burden,” he replied, his voice steady and resolute. “We all have our moments, Y/N. Even me.”
A faint laugh escaped your lips. “I find that hard to believe.”
Hotch smirked, an almost boyish charm flashing briefly. “Ask Rossi. He’ll be happy to tell you about all my mistakes.”
The levity in his voice eased some of the tension in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile. He reached out then, his hand brushing yours, hesitant at first. When you didn’t pull away, he entwined his fingers with yours, his touch firm and grounding.
“You don’t have to hold it all in,” he said softly. “Not with me.”
You leaned into his shoulder, the steady rhythm of his breathing calming the storm inside you. For a moment, the rain outside seemed to fade, replaced by the warmth of Hotch’s presence.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, so brief and tender you almost thought you imagined it. “Anytime,” he murmured. “You’re safe here, Y/N.”
And for the first time in a long time, you believed it.
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elliewithcellie · 6 months ago
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Protector
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summary: After months working for the BAU, your harbored feelings for your boss seem unrequited until your hunt for the unsub goes awry. (hotch x fem!reader)
wc: 9.8k (oh my god)
cw: slow burn, boss/employee dynamic, age gap pairing, criminal minds level violence, mention of alcoholism, implication of father issues, hurt/comfort, reader gets hurt, fluff, angst, SMUT (18+ MDNI), oral (f receiving), p in v sex, Hotch is a professional at heart and takes work boundaries seriously
a/n: Back in the saddle with a new man to hyper-fixate on. Hotch can GET IT. Also, let me know if anyone wants the SFW version I'm working on
“Looks like we’re doubling up,” Hotch announced, a sigh escaping his lips.
Before you could even process his words, the rest of the team sounded off, choosing their roommates for the duration of the case. All that remained were you and your boss. With the team dispersing, you awkwardly shifted your duffle bag to your other shoulder and looked up at Hotch.
His stern expression didn’t change as he looked back at you. “Come on. We’re 202.”
You followed him to the elevators, still unsure what to think. This was not only your boss but someone you had garnered quite a fondness for since you joined the BAU. Of course, you had managed yourself professionally thus far, but you were sure this was going to test your limits.
You understood the immediate pairings among the rest of the team. You were still fairly new, not quite to the rapport that the team had formed with each other. But it also made you think about how no one chose Hotch. The pressure to be Unit Chief also had to be lonely.
The elevator chimed, and the two of you shuffled in. You kept to yourself, trying to maintain composure. The lift from the first floor to the second felt like an hour, the silence deafening. You couldn’t shake your nerves. The doors opened, and he stepped out. You quickly followed.
Hotch opened the door and allowed you in first. The two double beds, office chair, mini fridge, and small bathroom were all less comforting to you than normal.
“Do you mind if I take the bed by the door?” Hotch asked, his voice softer than usual.
You blinked up at him, stirred from your preoccupation. “Yeah, of course. I like the window side anyway.”
“Thank you. If you’d like, you can have the shower first. I’d like to call Jack before he heads to bed.”
“Sounds good.”
You began to unpack your belongings and sighed in dismay. You had assumed that you would have a room to yourself as usual, so your pajamas were a little more revealing than you’d prefer your boss to see. Still, a t-shirt and shorts were reasonable sleep attire, so you tried not to dwell on it. You collected your things as Hotch dialed a number on his phone.
“Hey, buddy, how was your day?”
You smiled to yourself as you entered the bathroom. His “dad” voice was more upbeat, yet calm and soothing. With Hotch distracted on the phone, you could relax in the shower. The boiling water stung your skin, just the way you needed it. As you relaxed, you realized how silly it was for you to stress over the rooming situation. Hotch was here to do his job, just like you. And other than his intelligence, his kindness, and his fierce compassion for kids, you were sure you were only infatuated with him.
You finished up your shower and towel-dried your hair once you could no longer hear his muffled voice through the door. You were desperate not to waste Hotch’s time. With your hair still wet and your large t-shirt hanging over your shorts, you timidly exited the bathroom back to your bed, on your toes as if you were sneaking around. Hotch sat on his bed, his coat jacket now on the desk chair. He flipped through channels with the remote in one hand and loosened his tie with the other.
“All yours,” you spoke, struggling to get the words out.
Hotch looked up at you and gave a small smile. “Thanks.” He gathered up his things and closed the bathroom door behind him.
Another sigh of relief left your lips. You grabbed the book from your duffle and climbed into bed. You rolled over to turn on the lamp next to you and began to read, but before you knew it, sleep overtook you.
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“Hotchner.”
You woke up to Hotch answering his phone. The sky was still dark. The only light illuminating the room was the alarm clock. You realized that you hadn’t turned off the lamp before you fell asleep, nor did you place your book carefully on the side table with a hotel pen as the bookmark.
“Alright. Yes. Right. Understood. We’ll be right over.”
You looked up at Hotch expectantly. He looked at you, then averted his eyes as he got out of bed. “Another young girl missing. She’s only 16.” He paced the floor for a moment, a short-lived break from the stoic leader he always has to be.
“I’ll call the others,” you said sitting up. His eyes returned to yours, the strain turning into relief. He only nodded and headed for the closet, suiting up right there.
You called the others and followed suit, leaving the hotel parking lot by 3:46 am.
------
The next 18 hours were long, stressful, and only moderately successful. The team was able to work out an arrangement with the kidnapper before their 24 hours were up. The girl, Heather, was returned to her parents with only a few bruises. But the kidnapper got away, practically goading you all at the ability to remain anonymous. The team was exhausted and out of ideas.
The team drove back to the hotel without a single word exchanged. The kidnapper’s voice rang in your head. He was so confident, arrogant even. There was almost never a moment where he fumbled over his words or cracked. His ruse lasted for hours. But he got sloppy in the end, fessing up to her location just enough for Garcia to triangulate. But something wasn’t adding up to you: his willingness to run instead of killing her when he had the chance.
Hotch spoke up, stirring you from your ruminations. “We need to start from scratch. Reid, give us a rundown on what, where, and why.”
“Well, we know his victims are all young women now ranging from 16 to 23. They come from middle to upper-class families. He sends messages to the families always demanding ransom within 24 hours. Three women have been killed, and now two have survived. The strange part is whether or not he stays truthful to his word. The parents have always given him what he wants, but then it’s up to his discretion whether he follows through.”
 “Based on these girls,” Prentiss interjected, “this guy’s intelligent. He prides himself on the ability to get away with this.”
“That’s good,” Hotch said, eyes still on the road. “But why work with us sometimes and not others?
The SUV hummed as its passengers sat in silence.   
You decided to speak up. “Prentiss said he prides himself on the ability to get away with this, right?” Everyone sat still, expectant for you to continue. “We’re looking at this the wrong way. This isn’t a sadist who gets off on killing. This isn’t a psychopath with a compulsion. This is a narcissistic sociopath who has been evading capture for weeks now. This is a game to him. It’s a game he knows he can win.”
“Which is why when he’s pressured, he releases the girl.” Hotch nodded along.
“He can take a loss where he can because, to him, the ultimate win is to not get caught,” Reid agreed.
“Great work,” Hotch said, parking the car. “You guys head in and get some good sleep. I’ll fill in the other van. Be ready for a big day of planning.”
You walked up with Reid and Prentiss, a small smile refusing to leave your lips. You cracked it, you thought to yourself.
Your two teammates teased each other up to the rooms, you following close behind. You weren’t the type to inject yourself into other people’s conversations, which ended up making it hard to connect with them. It was as if you had been adopted into a family that has known each other their whole lives. You were respected, sure, so there was no need to complain. You just wished that you could make jokes with them and have the levity they had during intense cases like this.
Still, even hearing your teammates laugh was enough for you tonight. You longed for a moment longer, but they said their goodnights and headed off.
You entered your room, much more relaxed than the night before. You had yourself all worked up, and for what? You gathered your things and headed to the shower, sure that Hotch wasn’t far behind and would call his son again.
As you exited the bathroom, Hotch entered the room. You jumped despite yourself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.
“It’s ok,” was all you said in response. You returned your things to your bag and slid into bed. You turned on the lamp and began reading while Hotch took his turn in the shower.
You were still reading when he returned, the book more interesting now than it was the night before. You glanced up only for a moment. Hotch wore striped pajama pants tonight, contrasted to the boxers you accidentally noticed earlier that morning. You looked back at your book but couldn’t read it. Your mind wandered to the message Hotch could be sending. Maybe your shorts were inappropriate. Maybe you weren’t meant to see his boxer shorts at all. Maybe he was just cold.
“Good work today,” Hotch said, interrupting your thoughts.
You smiled up at him. “It was a team effort.”
“We may have never come to the conclusion you did. Take the compliment.” Hotch’s lips raised to a subtle smirk, something you’ve only seen a handful of times and certainly never directed toward you.
“Yes, sir,” you said. “Thank you.” You couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Your eyes drifted back to your book.
“What’s your book about?”
Was Hotch trying to make conversation with you? True, it wasn’t as late as yesterday’s arrival, but in all of your months of working for the BAU, any discussion with the team had been strictly professional. Still, you blushed at the question.
“It’s a romance,” you confessed.
“I have to say,” Hotch began, “I’ve never read a romance novel. What about it appeals to you?”
You thought for a moment. “I guess it’s the suspension of disbelief. The relief to enter a reality where people love in big, romantic ways. Don’t you ever want to get swept off your feet?”
You cringed at the question, debating on whether it was appropriate to ask your superior about romance.
“I think I’d rather do the sweeping,” Hotch said thoughtfully.
You smiled at his words.
“You don’t think people love in romantic ways in this reality?” Hotch asked, looking up at the ceiling. His breaths were calm, and his face seemed to soften from serious to curious.
“I don’t know,” you said sincerely. “My sister is about to marry a real stand-up guy. He’s caring and has a good family who loves her, too. It’s one of those one-and-done fairy tale deals. Like truly made for each other. But I wouldn’t say that’s the norm. It’s not my norm, at least. So, yeah, I guess you could say I’m skeptical.”
You crossed your legs and fiddled with your thumbs. You tried not to reflect on your history, tried not to give any clue to your boss of your true beliefs. It didn’t ultimately matter to the conversation, anyway. The silence stewed as it stirred up new thoughts and old patterns, feeling yourself shut down the conversation. You didn’t mean to. You hated being seen as the one that was boring outside of work. The one that wasn’t friendly enough to get to know.
“I’m sure you don’t know,” Hotch began again, shaking you from your anxious thoughts, “but bringing up your sister reminded me that I met your dad a few years ago.”
You shot up. “You know about him?” You covered your face with your hands.
“He was nationally awarded for his work in counterterrorism. Of course, I know about him.” He laughed softly, a sound you weren’t used to but would never complain to hear it again. “I met him on a job in Bakersfield. He knew the town like the back of his hand. Is he why you joined?”
“In a roundabout way,” you sighed.
“He brought up his girls every chance he could.” Hotch smiled and turned to face you. “One was a soccer star in South Carolina on track to be a doctor. One was a track star a semester away from graduating with honors and applying to Physician Assistant programs, I believe.”
“My sisters are overachievers,” you said.
“Then it’s you he talked about the most. The musician, the future psychologist, the one who found fascination with the minute details of life.”
“My dad said all that?”
“He did. He had offered us beers when it was all over, and he shared photos of you all. You’re certainly much more grown now.” He chuckled.
Your cheeks flushed red at the comment.
“I showed him Jack playing tee-ball, and we both shared some stories before it was time to go. He had some great advice to give.”
“I’m sure he did,” you mumbled. “Sir, I don’t want you to think I got in because of him. He didn’t know until I made it to Quantico. I mean, yes, he always pushed the army and West Point like him, but I did this all on my own, Mr. Hotchner, I swear.”
“Hotch is fine,” he gently corrected. “I’m not worried about where you came from. I knew the entire time. But your qualifications are what got you on the team, not your father. Keep up the good work, and I’ll continue to remember that.”
“Yes, sir.” You thought to yourself for a moment. The candor of the conversation may have added to your bravery in this moment. “Hotch?”
He raised his eyebrows to imply he was listening.
“Umm, Is there anything that I can do to, like… never mind. I’m about to sound pathetic.” You huffed back down into your pillow. You couldn’t believe you were about to ask Hotch how to make friends.
“They’ll warm up to you, just like you’ll warm up to them. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and I’m sure they’ll see you for who you are.”
You sighed again. Of course, he knew what you were stressing about. He’s the chief profiler after all.
“I’ll let you read now,” Hotch said, getting up from bed. “I’m going to call Jack.”
You gave a small smile and nodded, and he left the room.
------
You woke up the next morning to Hotch returning to the room, two disposable coffee cups and a case file in his hands.
You jerked up from bed. “Am I late?” you asked, scared you slept through the alarm.
“No, no,” he said, walking over to you. “I’m early. Coffee?”
He held out one of the cups to you. You gently accepted.
“Thank you.” You looked over at the clock. 5:54. You rubbed your eyes. “Are you always up this early?”
“On the job, yes,” he said with no inflection. “Much to think about, and much to be done.” He sat back on his bed and reviewed the file you knew he had reviewed countless times. If he was anything like you, he was searching for some hidden puzzle piece, something that the team must have missed to solve the case once and for all. But it was never that easy. Still, maybe some fresh eyes could help.
You slid out of your bed and rested on top of his. “Can I help?”
“Be my guest.” He shifted the file your way for a better vantage point. You crossed your legs and sipped your coffee before getting to work.
You found yourself lost in thought, jotting down those thoughts in the margins. It helped to visualize your connections, even drawing physical lines to connect them. You noticed that the most recent girl didn’t fit the age range of the others, 19-23. You dug deeper, making a note to ask Garcia to run the connection between all of these girls. College? you wrote. There was a college campus within ten minutes of the hotel. One more thing struck you. All of the victims had their hair up in a high ponytail. You weren’t sure how that was associated yet, but you wrote beside each of the photos anyway.
As the early sun began to rise, you grew brutally aware of Hotch’s presence. His body leaned closer to yours, and you felt his eyes sear into your skin. You grew distracted, your mind wandering to the fact that you were wearing only a loose shirt and small shorts in Hotch’s bed. Was he noticing the same thing? Was this a breach of professionalism? Were you making him uncomfortable? Against all your will, you felt your body temperature rise in the form of a blush.
The alarm clock rang out, pulling both Hotch and your attention. You stretched over to turn it off.
“I’ll let you get ready,” Hotch said, jumping out of bed. He headed to the door, refusing to meet your gaze. “Meet me downstairs?”
“Yes, sir,” you said, slightly surprised by the questioning tone of your superior. He nodded and left the room before another word could be spoken.
-------
In the conference room of the local police station sat the team, all watching Hotch interact with the captain of the squad through the glass. You stayed facing the table with your head low. You couldn’t help the bounce of your leg. While the others inferred the conversation outside, your mind had fixated on the morning’s events. The heat of your boss’s breath had tattooed your skin, a branding to the back of your neck. The intimacy, the closeness, and then the flustered nature Hotch left in replayed in your mind. You couldn’t look at him until you could properly collect yourself.
“What’s on your mind, kiddo?” Morgan asked. Your head shot up. All eyes were on you now. You failed to hide the rouging in your cheeks.
“Nothing.” You shrugged, though you knew the contradiction in your body language.
JJ chuckled. “Nothing? You’re so tense, so distracted.”
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, huh?” Morgan asked again, a smile growing on his face. “Hotch keeping you up all night?”
You flinched at his name. You couldn’t help it, but you outed yourself all the same.
“No, I slept fine. I swear.”
“You flinched!” Prentiss laughed and pointed. “It is about Hotch, isn’t it?”
“Leave the poor girl alone,” Rossi said, not bothering to look up from his newspaper.
“Hon, you better tell us what happened in the next three seconds.” Derek swatted at Spencer’s chest. “Reid, help us out, here.”
“Based on the months we’ve known her, she tends to—”
 “Don’t you start profiling me, Reid.” You glared at Spencer across the table.
His arms shot up in the air as if to surrender, but a smirk remained on his face. “All I’m saying is that I know the physical signs of a crush when I see one.”
Your jaw dropped. The conference room filled with laughter.
“Leave her alone!” Garcia yelled from behind you. “She’s our sensitive little one!”
“I’m not 5,” you mumbled, crossing your arms. Penelope hugged you from behind as if to protect you from the others. The others continued to laugh, causing you to smile despite yourself. Morgan took a photo of you and Garcia, and warmth spread through you. Even with all the teasing, being here with the team felt good.
Just then Hotch rushed through the door. “Alright, let’s be seated and get to work. We have a big day ahead of us.” Garcia took her seat, but Hotch stayed standing, opting to position himself in front of the whiteboard. “After speaking with the captain and going through the case file with Y/N this morning, I determined our best attack on the situation. Though, it is rather unorthodox.”
The rest of the team stayed silent, waiting for the punchline. Hotch continued. “What do we know about our killer better than anything? His victimology. We know that he goes after girls and young women aged 16-23. They are middle to upper-class, and not the type to find themselves in trouble. Now, who do we all know who fits this very description?”
“Y/N,” Reid said.
All eyes returned to you, this time with a seriousness looming in the air.
“If we don’t want any other kidnappings, we need to give him what he wants. Going after the 16-year-old was off for him. He’s devolving. Which means we need to act fast before he kills again. This is the only way we can approach this head-on.”
“Hotch,” Emily began, “with all due respect, let me take this on. Or JJ. JJ has experience.”
“With his victimology going as low as 16 now, it should be someone who looks the part,” Reid replied.
“She’s just a kid, Hotch.” Morgan reached his hand toward your shoulder, but you gently nudged it away.
“But I’m not a kid at all,” you spoke up. “I have two degrees and the same job as the rest of you. I know I’m young and look younger, but I’m qualified. If my appearance can be used to put this guy away, then let me help. Let me do my job.” You looked up at Hotch, a sudden confidence flowing through your veins. “What do you need me to do?”
-------
For the rest of the day, the team helped you prepare for your role as a 22-year-old college student. The team strategized and planned, desperate to ensure your safety. Everyone added their two cents, but you were happy to receive all the insight you were given. You weren’t going to screw this up for them.
You, Hotch, Prentiss, and Morgan returned to the hotel to pick among your belongings to dress the part. Rossi, Reid, and JJ stayed behind with Garcia to set up intel at the station.
“The shorts you wore to bed,” Hotch began, “go put those on while we find a sweatshirt or jacket. In fact, wear the shirt you wore, too. The size could conceal the mic better.”
You nodded and grabbed your things before heading into the bathroom. It was not lost on you that your boss was thoroughly aware of your pajama situation, but due to the pivotal role you were to perform, it was easier to focus on the task at hand.
You returned from the bathroom where Emily greeted you with the mic. You lifted your arms, allowing Emily to snake the mic underneath your shirt, securing it to your sternum with sports tape. While doing so, Hotch and Morgan returned with a single sweatshirt in Morgan’s hand. It was grungy and old, not quite the goal aesthetic.
Still, Morgan handed it to you to try on. The three profilers evaluated your look.
“This isn’t gonna work,” Morgan said. Prentiss pinched her eyebrows together in dismay. Hotch stayed staring.
“Take off the sweatshirt,” Hotch ordered. “I think I have something better.”
You did as he said while he rummaged through his duffle bag. He pulled out a quarter zip of excellent quality, something he only wears on a successful plane ride home.
“Put it on.”
You didn’t hesitate to follow his instructions. It was a large fit, hanging just above the hem of your shorts and the sleeves landing at your fingertips. The three of them looked at you, then to their reference photos, then back at you. Something was missing.
“Call Reid. Maybe he can find any other similarity we’re missing,” Hotch said.
“No, I got it.” You remembered the notes you made earlier that morning. You took the hair tie from your wrist and pulled your hair up into a high ponytail. “Now, what do you think?”
“That’s it,” Morgan said.
“And just in time,” Emily noted, “We gotta get you to the college fast.”
On the ride to the school, Hotch reiterated the goals in place.
“All you need to do is walk across campus using the roads. Keep to yourself, and most importantly, do not—and I mean it—do NOT, get into the vehicle under any circumstances. Stall him, flirt with him, do anything you can to keep him in place. We’ll be right there. Got it?”
“Yes, sir. I got it.”
“We’re counting on you.”
“Good luck.” Prentiss smiled with seriousness behind her eyes.
Morgan grabbed your shoulder, turning you around. “Be smart, kiddo.”
You returned a small smile and left the van to venture on your walk.
------
You had to have walked the streets for at least an hour. The campus was massive, larger than any school you attended. You did as you were told and kept to yourself. The sun had long since set, so there was no warmth to guard you from the biting breeze. A car or two passed periodically, but none slowed down beside you. There was a peace in the solitude. One could chalk it up to the calm before the storm, but you weren’t afraid.
Another car passed, but this time it slowed down. Your heart stopped and landed in your throat.
“Excuse me,” the man called out. The voice was unforgettable. The very same voice that threatened to kill the girl over the phone. The voice that replayed in your mind for hours. You knew it was him.
You turned to face him, trying to commit every detail to memory. He was a conventionally attractive man with lighter hair and a smile that you would have swooned over under any other circumstance. He wore a white polo and jeans and drove a two-door black convertible with the top down.
“Sorry,” he said. “I’m looking for a party my buddy’s throwing, but I don’t go here.”
“I’ll say you don’t,” you chuckled as you walked closer. “Your car must cost my tuition!”
The man grinned. “You like? I could take you for a spin. But I’ll have you know; I like to go fast.”
“Mmmm, top-down, wind in my hair,”—you inched closer still, to feign some sort of interest— “but don’t you have a party you’re missing?”
“Well, if you show me where to go, maybe I’ll consider you my plus one.” He winked.
“Now, do I look like the partying type to you?” You laughed and rested your arms on his car door.
Without another word, he grabbed you by the upper arms and pulled you into the driver’s seat. You screamed at the top of your lungs. You tried to fight him from your disadvantaged position, but he was stronger, quicker. He forced you into the passenger seat as he wailed punch after punch into your jaw.
“Nice. Girls. Don’t. Scream!” he yelled. He punctuated his words with one final blow to the head. And as you drifted out of consciousness, you weren’t sure if the roof was closing above you or if the sky was turning black.
------
The sound of fireworks stirred you from your unconsciousness. Lights of reds and blues lit the night sky. You smiled at the serenity of the celebration. You didn’t want to go, but the strong hands beneath you lifted you away. You were much too tired to argue, his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. The faint words “stay with me” echoed in your mind, and if staying meant remaining in the comfort of the person who held you, you’d be content to stay there forever.
------
You woke up to blinding white lights. This must be heaven you assumed. You blinked through the searing lights and realized it wasn’t heaven at all. You were in a hospital. The sheets, the gown, the blinking monitors, and a small TV playing all clouded your senses. You reached up to rub your head, but someone was holding your hand.
Hotch moved with you, stirring him out of his strained slumber. He had pulled a chair to your bed, his head resting next to your knee. He lifted his head and looked up at you, an urgency deep within his eyes.
“How are you feeling?” He didn’t let go of your hand.
“I—uhhh—Hotch, what’s goin’ on?” You found your breathing quickening at the sound of your slurred speech, the confusion becoming too much to handle.
“You’re ok. You’re gonna be ok. The doctor said they want to keep you overnight, but the team’s on their way.”
“No, no.” You pulled your hand away. “They can’t see me like this. You can’t see me like this! I’m not put together. I—I feel like I'm gonna be sick. I can’t feel my arms. Are my hands shaking? I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out!”
Hotch all but jumped at your ramblings, his eyebrows raised in shock. Before he could answer you burst into tears.
“Hotch, I’m gonna be sick,” you said through your convulsions.
Hotch jumped up in search of a bucket. He grabbed the trashcan at the corner of the room and brought it to you just in time. Tears streamed down your face as you threw up into the trashcan. Hotch held your hair back and gently rubbed your back.
Your nausea subsided, but your panic remained. Hotch sat on the bed, pulling you into his chest. You gripped him with all your might, desperate for the shakes to go away.
“You're alright. You're safe, ok? I think the medicine is messing with you a little. Take some deep breaths for me. I need you to relax, ok?”
You tried to take breaths at the pace Hotch set. Hotch’s hand combed through your hair as he tried to soothe you. Eventually, you were able to cool off. Hotch gently rested you back on your pillow. “Why don’t we go back to sleep for a little, ok? I think you’ll feel better when you wake up.”
You nodded, your face still wet from the tears. You repositioned yourself and fell asleep within moments.
When you woke up again, your mind was your own. Your head was pounding, and your body ached. You allowed yourself to adjust to your environment before searching for Hotch. There he sat by your bed, talking to a nurse. You cleared your throat effortfully. Hotch stood and approached you.
“How are you?”
“Everything hurts.”
“They’re giving you ibuprofen now. It seems like you were reacting to the morphine poorly.”
“That’s embarrassing.”
“Not at all,” Hotch said seriously. “Do you remember what I told you? That they want to keep you overnight?”
“That does ring a bell,” you said as you rubbed your head. “Is the team here?”
“They are. I told them to wait outside until you were ready.”
“Oh, ok.” You thought for a moment. “Hotch?”
“Yes?”
“Can—Can you tell me what happened? Like, did we win? Is everyone ok?”
Hotch chuckled, but his eyes appeared sad. “Everyone is fine. We got him. Are you sure you want to talk about this now? Why don’t we wait until you—”
“Hotch. Please.”
Hotch sighed and took a moment to think. “Well, we knew we were looking for an expensive convertible thanks to you.” He smiled. “So, we began our search as you spoke. But then, we all heard you scream.”
You flinched at the word, your memory of the gruesome event beginning to reassemble.
“Of course, it was full speed at that point. He had you, and we weren’t going to lose you. We cornered him on a dead-end road just outside of campus. We didn’t let him get far. Prentiss shot out one of his tires, so he started running. Prentiss and Morgan ran for him, and I ran to you.”
He paused. He looked away as his bottom lip trembled. He took a deep breath in as he settled into his natural professionalism again.
“We had EMT on standby, so we were able to get here quickly.”
You nodded, realizing it was Hotch who carried you out. The fireworks, the lights, the “stay with me”, the reality of it all crashed in on you in the form of a shudder.
“It was you?” you asked.
Hotch knit his eyebrows together and tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“You pulled me out. I felt you. I think I heard you.”
“Someone had to make sure you were ok.”
The fact that it was Hotch warmed your heart. Still, a question lingered in your mind. “Is he still alive?”
Hotch shook his head no.
“Mm,” was all you could say in response. There was no room for emotion. No time to process an opinion. You were just glad it was over. “What time is it?”
Hotch checked his watch. “It’s 2:43.”
“In the morning? Sir, with all good intentions, go to bed. Go tell the team to—”
Just behind Hotch, you caught a glimpse of Spencer in the doorway. “Is now a good time?” he asked.
You smiled and nodded. Spencer peeked his head back out and in a loud whisper said, “It’s clear! Go, go, go!”
The rest of the team hustled into the room and crowded around your bed. One by one, greetings and gentle hugs made their rounds, and your smile grew bigger and bigger.
“It’s a party now,” you said, a giggle bubbling out of your throat.
“Oh, she’s got the right idea,” JJ said as she sat close to you on the bed. She carefully moved a strand of hair from your face.
Prentiss laughed. “All we need now is some good music, a dance floor, and some drinks.”
The room filled with a few laughs and overall agreement.
“Too bad you all aren’t even supposed to be here,” Hotch said, slightly scolding the team. “It’s probably time for you all to call it a night.”
“Aw, Hotch, just a few minutes?” Garcia asked.
“We’ll be quiet!” Reid said.
Everyone looked at Hotch expectantly. You looked around at your teammates. They all were begging for a couple more minutes with you. That alone allowed your pain to subside.
Hotch sighed. “Just a couple more minutes.” A small smile formed on his face.
Everyone crowded around the bed, content murmurs and chatter filling the room again.
“Now be honest, guys. How bad do I look?” You shot them all a cheesy smile to sell it.
A few of them chuckled at your antics.
“I think you’ll be back to dating in no time,” Prentiss joked. “Guys love a badass scar.”
“Yeah, ’cause she was dating before,” JJ teased as she played with your hair.
“Shut up!” you giggled, coughing a little.
“I’ll get you water.” Hotch shot up and walked off.
“I’ll go with him,” Rossi said, sighing.
A seriousness enveloped the room. Derek was the first to speak up. “You know, you really scared us today, kiddo. Not to get all big brother on you, but it was tough seeing Hotch carrying you like that. Just limp.”
“And imagine how Hotch must have felt,” Reid said.
You looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
Just then Hotch and Rossi returned with your water.
“Drink,” he said, his arm outstretched. You grabbed the water from him, your fingers overlapping his. The memory of his hands shot through your spine. His frantic begging for you to stay with him, much more panicked than you remembered the phrase.
Imagine how Hotch must have felt.
“It’s getting late,” Rossi said.
The rest of the team grumbled and said their goodbyes. Hotch allowed the rest of the team to go, lingering in the room with you.
“If you need me to stay, I’d be happy to do so.”
“You need sleep, sir.”
“I’ll sleep on the plane,” he said as if it was nothing to him. “If you don’t think you’ll need me, I can let you be. We can be here early to pick you up.”
You thought for a moment. You didn’t want him to go, just in case. “Would you be willing to stay?”
“It’s why I offered.”
You felt your lip begin to tremble, the brave face for the rest of the team beginning to fade. “Hotch?”
“What can I do?”
“Well, I just… Can I use your phone? I think my mom should know I’m alright.”
“Of course.” He handed you his phone. “I’ll wait right outside for you.”
When the phone call was finished, Hotch returned and sat down in the chair.
“If you’re going to stay, I at least want you comfortable,” you said.
“The chair is fine,” Hotch said, taking his coat off for the first time today. “Get some sleep.”
You scooted to the side of your bed. “Here. At least sit up here where there’s some cushion.”
He didn’t respond right away. You knew you could convince him.
“I promise I’ll sleep,” you continued. “I’d be up worrying about your discomfort otherwise.”
Hotch sighed and stood up. “Only because I want you to sleep.”
He sat in the space you made for him at your feet. He stretched his legs alongside yours and rested his back against the footboard of the hospital bed.
You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you curled up on your side. The comfort in knowing that he was there to take care of you was enough to send you off to sleep in minutes.
“Goodnight, Hotch.”
“Goodnight.”
------
You woke up to something you had never seen before. Hotch was asleep at the foot of your bed, resting his head against your shins. A hand was placed just below your knee as if he planned to protect you in his sleep. It was the most peaceful you had ever seen him. He didn’t look cross or serious. He was calm and relaxed. You smiled to yourself. You had to fight the urge to return his touch. You knew the moment he woke up he’d return to his professional senses, and you weren’t quite ready for this moment to be over.
The doctor walked in to check on you, stirring him awake, anyway.
“I’m clearing you. Take these twice a day. Your jaw is going to be sore for a couple weeks, so work up to crunchy and chewy foods. And please, no strenuous activity for at least a full week.”
“Yes, ma’am,” you said, taking the bottle of pills.
“Thank you,” Hotch said. He stood up from your bed as the doctor left. He threw his jacket on and fixed his hair in the window’s reflection.
You sat up and swung your legs off the bed. Hotch spun around and met you at your side.
“How can I help?”
You chuckled. “I think I can stand on my own.”
His eyes shared signs of concern and disbelief. Still, he took a small step back and allowed you to gather your bearings. Standing on your own, you closed the small gap between you. You began to become painstakingly aware of your attire being only a hospital gown and rubber socks.
“You got it?” Hotch asked, his arms out like you were a baby taking your first steps.
“Mmhmm,” you said. “Are my clothes here?”
“Yes, let me grab them for you.” He rushed to the corner of the room where your clothes had been neatly folded, including his sweater. He handed them all to you, his hands brushing against yours. Your heart fluttered in your chest as he stood over you. You looked up at him. His eyes returned your gaze, though you weren’t able to read him. His chest rose and fell as if his breathing was slow and deliberate.
“I’m going to call the team,” Hotch said, his voice low. “Do you—do you need help with anything before I do?”
All you could do was shake your head no on instinct, your eyes not leaving his. He stayed still. His eyes scanned you like he was contemplating something. He backed up carefully and pulled his phone from his coat pocket.
“Wait,” you said.
He froze.
You felt your face redden as you worked up the courage to continue. “Could—could you untie the top for me? My shoulder—”
“You don’t have to explain,” he said softly as he inched forward again. “Turn around.”
You did as you were told. He brushed your hair over your shoulder and began to work on the knot. His calloused fingers feathered your skin. His warm breath betrayed you as chills ran down your spine. He untied the knot, allowing cool air to reach the back of your now-open gown. Hotch turned to leave.
“Be careful,” he said at the door. “If you need me, knock on the glass.”
You nodded.
He closed the door behind him, leaving you alone.
------
The drive from the hospital to the hotel rendered the air stale. Hotch had insisted on helping you out of the hospital and into the car. But he didn’t speak. He drove while you sat in the back seat. Every once in a while, you’d catch him checking on you in the rear-view mirror, only to direct his attention back to the road.
When you returned to the hotel, Hotch stopped you from leaving the car.
“I’ll grab your things. You stay here.”
“I can get my things just fine.”
“Your bag is heavy. Doctor’s orders. No strenuous activity. Stay here.”
You huffed and sat back in your seat as Hotch closed the door for you.
The plane ride was the same: silent. Hotch sat opposite you as if he refused to allow you to leave his sight. But he kept to himself all the same. The others rested or played their card games, but you stayed put, almost waiting for Hotch to make his next move. He didn’t speak the entire flight.
Upon your return, Hotch dismissed the rest of the team.
“Thank you for the hard work this weekend. Rest up, and I will see you all Monday.”
You all headed out to leave, but Hotch stopped you. “Let me take you home,” he said.
You sighed. “Is driving a strenuous task now?”
“It’s late, and I’m not asking,” he said, returning your attitude.
You followed him to his car. He carried both his and your bag and placed them in the backseat before joining you up front.
Again, not a word was spoken between the two of you. You felt your blood boiling beneath your skin. It was as if the trip never happened, as if the distance between you never closed. The babying was the worst of all. You were sure he was seeing you as the rest of the team did now, incapable, fragile, only a child.
Hotch walked you up to your apartment. He waited for you to open your door, placing your bag directly inside.
“Well,” you began, “I guess I’ll see you Monday.”
He stood in your doorway for a moment, something on his mind. “Are you sure you’re ok? Is there anything else you think you may need before I go?”
“Hotch, what is all this?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
You tried to maintain your sanity, but the anger had bubbled into your throat. “All this, this, this coddling! You’re treating me like I’m fragile or, or useless!”
“Do I have to remind you that you were in the hospital this morning?” Hotch asked, aggravation coating his throat.
“I don’t need this from you, too, ok? The rest of them, I can take it, but you were different! I thought you were different.”
Hotch closed the door behind him and crossed his arms. “What are you talking about?”
“Have you not noticed that all of them treat me like I’m a child? Derek literally calls me kiddo, and the girls act like I’m some innocent girl fresh out of high school. Reid and JJ are five years older than me. That’s it! Rossi, forget it. I’m like a grandchild to him at this point. But you, you never belittled me. So, what is this? Did I fail you? I’d rather you just tell me than refuse to speak to me.”
“I – you didn’t fail me. How could you think that?”
“You couldn’t even look at me after the hospital.”
Hotch’s face turned a light shade of pink, his eyes leaving yours for only a moment. “We were successful because of you. But you got hurt. I just want to make sure you’re ok. That’s all.”
You thought for a moment, still not satisfied with his answer. “Then why didn’t you talk to me? I thought we were—I thought maybe there was something—”
“Please,” Hotch interrupted, “don’t say anything you might regret.” He took a step back.
“Are you saying I’m imagining this? That I imagined this morning?”
“No, no, no. We’re not doing this.”
“The coffee, the book put away neatly,”
“I would do that for anyone.”
“What about when you stormed out yesterday? When we were going over the file on your bed.” Your voice started to shake.
“That’s when I—I realized we had to use you.” He looked down, almost ashamed.
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear that you’ve outed yourself and maybe you were more delusional than you thought.
“This morning…” you said.
“You asked for my help, and I helped you. Just like I’m happy to do for you now if you need. Look, it’s late, and you’ve gone through a lot.”
“Then what did Reid mean?”
Hotch looked back up at you. He looked nervous, something you may have never seen in his eyes before. “What do you mean?”
“He said imagine how you must have felt when you found me. What did he mean by that if it doesn’t mean you care about me?”
“Of course, I care about you!” he exclaimed, moving closer to you. “I almost lost you! And when I found you, I thought you were gone. You were lifeless. So, forgive me for wanting to be careful with you, because I refuse to let that happen again. I refuse to lose you again.”
You looked at him in shock.
He sighed. “I shouldn’t have said any of this. Listen, the only reason you’re feeling anything for me is because it’s me you woke up to. Nothing more. If Reid or Morgan found you, the same thing would happen with them.”
“Do not chalk this up to some damsel in distress situation,” you said a little too boldly. “The whole team knows I have a thing for you.”
Now Hotch was in shock. He shook his head. “It’s not me you want.”
“You don’t know what I want.”
“I know you’re desperate for romance in your life because you either don’t make time for it in real life or were burned so bad in the past, that you gave it up entirely.”
“Hotch, don’t you dare profile me right now.”
“I know you have a rocky relationship with men in general, rooted in your relationship with your father.”
“Stop it, now.”
“You refuse to associate with him in any way. You don’t even allow us to call you by your last name. He views you differently from your sisters for some reason, and you hate him for it.”
“Hotch, I swear to god—”
“You mocked him for giving good advice, and you flinched when I brought up getting beers with him. He’s an alcoholic, isn’t he?”
“So, what, honestly? Literally who cares if he drinks? He gets mean, so what? What gives you the right to tell me what I can and cannot have?”
“But he’s not just mean, is he?”
The air in your lungs got caught in your throat.
“That’s it, isn’t it? That’s how he treats you differently.”
“That’s enough,” you said, your voice cold.
Hotch stepped closer, grabbing your shoulders with both hands. You shuddered in his grasp. “You don’t want me, ok? I can’t fix what you’ve gone through. I can’t even protect you at work. Do you know the guilt I feel for what happened to you? I’m the one who got you hurt. And now I have to live with that. What makes you think that I can be what you need if I can’t even keep you safe here?”
You closed what little space was left between you. You looked up at him, your face only inches from his. “Stop telling me what I want. I’m an adult. I can make my own choices. You’re not going to push me away like this.”
Hotch’s breath hitched in his throat. His chest heaved up and down, and his eyes darkened. “This is wrong. I’m your superior. This isn’t appropriate.”
“If you truly don’t want me, I’ll stop. We’ll go back to how things were. But you have to say you don’t want me.”
His grip on your shoulders strengthened, his touch burning into your skin. His now wild eyes scanned you as if he couldn’t have fathomed this happening. A lump formed in your throat as you waited for him to find the words. Instead, he pulled you flush against him and pressed his lips against yours. His kiss was raw and desperate, rougher than your healing jaw could take, but you couldn’t care less. He wrapped his arms around your back and gripped your hair as if it was instinctual. Your breathing hitched, causing you to moan into his mouth.
He pulled away, slightly out of breath. “I need you to tell me this is ok.”
“This is ok,” you said, breathless.
“Good,” Hotch said, “because I don’t want to stop.”
A smirk formed on your face. You grabbed a hold of his tie and pulled him closer to you. “Then I think you need to take this off.”
You dropped the tie and kissed him as he took his coat off. Your mouth wandered to his jaw. Hotch let out a groan.
“Your room. Now.”
His words sent chills down your spine. You took his hand and led him to your room. You turned around and watched Hotch remove his tie, sliding it through his collar. His eyes stayed on yours, his already dark eyes now almost black with desire. The moment his tie came off, he was back on you, kissing you like his life depended on it. His hands wandered to your ass and lifted you up, his lips never leaving your skin. You wrapped your legs around him as he carried you to your bed.
Hotch laid you down, now hovering over you. His lips drifted from yours down to your neck.
“Seeing you in this had me thinking horrible things,” Hotch confessed, slightly pulling on the quarter zip you were still wearing.
You blushed. “Really?” you asked, a smug smile growing on your face. “Is that why you were avoiding me?”
“Was it really that obvious?” Hotch asked, his large hands finding their way under your shirt.
You couldn’t even answer as his hands ventured up to your chest. His hands pulled a moan from your mouth.
“Take this off,” Hotch said as he pulled the hem of your shirt.
“You, first.”
Hotch’s eyebrows raised as if surprised by your reply. He sat up and unbuttoned his shirt. You practically drooled at the sight of him shirtless. You could only assume he was fit when he rolled up his sleeves or manhandled unsubs, but this was all the confirmation you needed.
“Your turn,” he said.
You did as you were told, revealing yourself to him.
“God, you’re perfect,” he sighed as he kissed your chest.
You fought off a moan. You couldn’t believe this was happening. This was only something you pictured in your wildest dreams, and here he was in the flesh.
“I wanted this for so long,” you found yourself saying out loud.
“Me, too,” he agreed. “You have no idea how much I thought about this.”
Your cheeks flushed red. He began leaving marks past your breasts, down your stomach to the hem of your shorts.
“Can I take these off?” Hotch asked.
You nodded.
“Use your words, honey.”
Your stomach did a flip hearing the phrase. “Yes, sir. Take them off.”
He all but growled in response. He pulled at your shorts, taking them off in a swift motion.
“So much for no strenuous activities,” you joked.
“I can be gentle,” Hotch said as he settled in between your legs. “Let me take care of you.”
Your head fell back onto your pillow. You knew you were in for it.
Hotch spread your legs apart, the stretch enough for you to arch into his touch.
A smirk graced his lips, and without another word, he licked into your core. His mouth against you was like a gift from God, something you had only hoped could feel so good. You couldn’t help but squirm against him, grabbing his hair to pull him closer, if at all possible. He placed a hand on your stomach to keep you still. You could feel him smile against you, turning you on even more.
“Hotch,” you breathed out. You were close faster than you had ever been.
“Say my name,” he said as he placed a finger inside you.
“A-Aaron,” you choked out, the new sensation too much to handle. He filled you with another finger, his hitting the spot your fingers never could.
“Fuck, Aaron, don’t stop. Please.” Your breathing quickened, and as he pumped his fingers in and out, you felt the coil in your stomach snap, expletives and his name leaving your lips. Hotch continued to pump you as you rode your high, a daze overtaking you.
When you caught your breath, you pulled Hotch back up for a kiss, your hands finding their way to his belt.
Hotch’s hands stopped yours. You looked up at him, confused.
“Are you sure you want this?” He asked, genuine concern lacing his voice.
“I want this if you do. Do you?” you asked.
“I really do,” he said. “I need to feel you.”  
You couldn’t help but smile at his words. “Then please let me help you.”
He released your hands and kissed your forehead as you unbuckled his belt. The moment felt ironically wholesome until you pulled at his dress pants. You couldn’t help but gawk at his cock springing free. You were suddenly nervous, not quite sure it would fit after all this time practically revirginizing. If your jaw weren’t so sore, you’d have him in your mouth without a second thought.
“I’ll be gentle, I promise,” he said as if he could hear your thoughts. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Hotch hovered over you and kissed your lips softly. You returned the kiss and nodded.
Hotch lined himself up with your entrance and carefully pushed in. He and you both groaned at the sensation, the stretch of him filling you something you hadn’t experienced in years.
“Jesus Christ. You’re so, this isn’t your first time, is it?”
“No, no,” you said, slightly embarrassed. “It’s just been a while. Just, just go slow, ok?”
Hotch nodded and started to move. He rested his forehead on yours, sighs and pants escaping both of your lips.
“Can I kiss you?” Hotch asked.
You chuckled at his question. “We’re a little past that, aren’t we?”
Hotch smiled as he placed his lips on yours, much more tender than before. He moved a stray hair from your face and cupped your cheek with the utmost gentility. The urgency was gone, replaced by something deeper. Everything had culminated to this moment, and neither of you wanted to waste it.
Still, the need for more overtook you. “Aaron,” you said, your hips bucking up into his.
“What do you need? I need you to tell me.”
“Faster, please,” you said.
His pace quickened, one hand still around you. He used the other to stabilize himself, allowing you to view the tension in his muscles. You bit back a moan as the pressure inside you built.
“Don’t hold back,” Hotch said. “Let me hear you.”
He slammed into you, a smirk growing on his face as your breath caught in your throat.
“Just like that!” you blurted out.
He did just that, slamming into you again and again.
“Fuck. I don’t know how much longer I can last,” Hotch said, his voice almost shaking.
“I’m close, too. Please don’t stop,” you begged.
He pounded into you harder and faster, no longer a rhythm but a motive, a goal to achieve.
“Come for me, honey. I’ve got you. Just come for me.”
You clenched around him as you came, all but screaming his name. His pace didn’t let up as you rode your orgasm, your legs trembling around him.
“Oh, god. I’m gonna, where do I—”
“Chest!”
He pulled out and came on your chest, making the most attractive groans you had ever heard in your life. You watched in awe, absolute shock overtaking you. Never in your wildest dreams did you picture this. And for the love of god, you hoped this wasn’t the last time this happened.
Hotch crawled over you, still catching his breath, and captured your lips in a kiss.
“How are you feeling?” Hotch asked. “Is your head ok?”
“I’m good,” you said smiling at his return to his overprotective self. “I’m really good. I promise.”
Hotch rested his forehead on yours then kissed you, the tenderness returning.
“I like when you do that,” you said, your cheeks reddening.
“Me, too,” he said. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
“You don’t have to help, if you don’t want to.”
“What, and miss showering with you?” Hotch smiled. “Just lead the way.”
In the shower, the two of you washed up, and you couldn’t knock the smile from your face if you tried, until you thought about showing up to work Monday morning.
“What are you thinking about?” Hotch asked.
“The team’s gonna know,” you said.
Hotch thought for a moment. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, well, I wouldn’t have done it in this order, but would you like to join me for dinner tomorrow evening?”
You blushed, despite the state you were both in. “Are you asking me on a date?”
Hotch smiled. “I’m asking you on a date, yes. I have to be honest, though, I’m out of practice.”
“If tonight was you out of practice, I think tomorrow will go just fine.”
Hotch laughed and kissed you again, something you hoped would never fade in your memory.
************
ForeversTaglist:
@lizziedizzie3 @heavennleeee-blog @hunterswearingplaid @thisismysecrethappyplace @geekinator9 @ronnie248-blog @oliolioxiclean @phonegalhelp @because-you-never-know-when @roonyxx @keithseabrook27 @ericaprice2008 @heythereamigodude
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mariasont · 6 months ago
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My Boss Won't Be Happy About This - A.H
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a/n: back to bimbo brain rot!!!! inspired by the first season that one episode (you know the one) where hotch is all macho man with elle in jamaica
masterlist
₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
summary: you’re wrongfully arrested and hotch is not happy about it
warnings: creepy officer, inaccuracies of how law enforcement works, hotch being sexy
wc: 1.3k
"Listen I'm not the type of girl to tell someone how to do their job, but I just don't think you're doing it right."
You were speaking to an empty room, or at least, you were speaking to the mirror in front of you. It's the kind of mirror you had seen in countless interrogation scenes, the kind you usually image Hotch standing behind. You let your gaze linger, wondering if eyes are studying you from the other side, listening to your monologue.
"Well, that, and I also just don't think it's very nice." Your brand spanking new heels were tapping against the dirty floor. 
You weren't happy about that. You weren't happy about any of this. Your feet ache, but the fear of the germs lurking on the floor paralyzes any thoughts of relief by removing your shoes.
"And hey, shouldn't I get a phone call? That's a rule, I think," you mumble, lips turning downward in an unusual frown. It seems like the right time for it. "My boss is not going to take this well. I mean, he's got this look, you know? The kind that makes you want to apologize for things you didn't even do."
You conjured up his daunting expression and released a jittery laugh, all while striving to disregard the biting cold blasting from the AC vent, which seemed determine to freeze you into place. 
You were seriously out of your element, not just in surroundings but in dress--so form-fitting it left very little to the imagination. It seemed to be a good idea for a date. That was before you realized said date would be a complete disaster. Now, it felt like a trap. It had been a spectacle for a man unworthy of the effort, and as you sat in this rigid chair, you found yourself tugging at the hem every other moment, a futile attempt to preserve some semblance of modesty.
"So, when he hears about this little error... Well, let's just say I wouldn't want to be in your shoes." Six hours had passed in this dreary space, and you could feel your sanity fraying at the edges. You muttered, half to yourself, "Not that they're as cute as mine, but you get the point."
The door hinge's creak made you sit bolt upright, a silent supplication for Hotch's rescue echoing through your mind. But today, it seemed, the gods were indifferent. The officer who had arrested you stepped in.
"Having fun talking to yourself?"
You flashed your sweetest smile. "Oh, tons! But I'd have much more fun if you'd uncuff me."
He said nothing, folding his arms over his chest as he dragged his gaze up and down your body in a way that made your skin prickle in discomfort. You attempted to dispel the creeping dread, but it stubbornly lingered.
You did what you could to cover up, despite the awkward angle of your arms. "Listen, this is all just a big mistake. I work for the FBI," you insisted, though it was clear the officer's attention was fixated on your tits rather than your words. "Well, I mean, I'm an assistant for the unit chief of the BAU unit. You've heard of Aaron Hotchner, haven't you?"
The officer's mouth closed without a word, as the door was thrust open yet again, and this time, your heart leapt in recognition. Your knight in shining armor with a lethal expression.
His eyes instantly zeroed in on the officer with a look that could curdle blood, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that you weren't the object of his anger. He approached you wordlessly, his every motion precise and determined.
He carefully shed his jacket, a gesture he seldom made, and draped it across your shoulders. The fleeting caress of his hand against your skin was enough to make you lean into his touch. You let out a breath that you had been unconsciously holding back. 
You watched as Hotch turned, his voice a low, steady force, his words carefully chosen and tinged with an unsettling peace. "Officer," he began, the title spoken almost as warning. "I believe there has been a grave misunderstanding. This woman is not only an esteemed member of the FBI, but she is also under my direct supervision."
He stepped closer, encroaching on the officer's personal space. You watched, almost in slow motion, as the officer's expression morphed into one of sheer terror, his earlier confidence dissolving like sugar in hot tea.
"Six hours," he continued, his voice never rising yet somehow it took up all the space in the confined room. "Six hours of unwarranted detention, without due process. I expect her immediate release. And make no mistake, this lapse in judgment will have its ramifications."
The officer was mute, his fingers clumsily unlocking the handcuffs, his movements hurried, his hands trembling. A twinge of pity flickered within you, but it was quickly overshadowed by the memory of considering the table as a makeshift blanket.
The moment the metal clicked open; you wasted no time. You flung your arms around Hotch, the pent relief and biting chill of the past few hours pouring out of you. You were desperate for warmth, specifically his warmth.
He stiffened, caught off guard by your actions. You feel the anger radiating through him, practically pulsing through his skin. As you clung to him, you felt the draft on your legs as your dress slid up, and without missing a beat Hotch's hand discreetly adjusted the fabric, all while keeping his eyes locked on the officer, a silent warning in his gaze.
Once he was certain you were decently covered, he allowed himself to draw him into his arms. One arm secured around your waist, the other weaving through your hair. You were cold. It renewed another tide of rage through his bloodstream.
With the officer's departure, the room's oppressive atmosphere lightened a touch, leaving you still latched onto your boss.
"Oh, sir, you wouldn't believe it," you started, his hands tracing up your spine and sparking a trail of goosebumps that had nothing to do with the chill. "They kept asking me about a heist, as if I'd know anything about that! And then they show me this picture, and I mean, sure, she had my hair, but that's about it."
You rambled on, and he let you, the absurdity of the situation pouring out in a stream of consciousness. Hotch's hold on you tightened. You could sense the coiled tension in him, a tempest of anger held a bay.
"And the room, it was so cold! I mean, I'm sure you can tell. My teeth were chattering, and all I could think of was how I'd rather be filing your paperwork or listening to Reid's factoids about the quantum mechanics of coffee beans."
You felt Hotch's breath on your hair as he let out a sigh. 
"I'm just glad you're here now," you whispered, finally allowing yourself to relax in his embrace.
Hotch gave a curt nod, his jaw set. He was itching to confront the officer, to unleash a tirade not meant for your ears. But he was well aware of how much you needed him right now, and that trumped everything in his book.
Hotch took a moment to compose himself before speaking. "This isn't just incompetence; it's negligence. I will have this place reevaluated for its standards, or lack thereof."
You took a step back, hands still resting on his arms, and he maintained his grip on your waist. "I bet this is the last time you'll let me go on a date without a full background check on the guy, huh, sir?"
Hotch's hold on your waist firmed just a fraction. "Maybe it's the last time I let you go on a date, period."
He was only half-joking.
"Not even with you?" You tilted your head to meet his gaze, drawing his jacket closer around you.
Hotch just simply gives you that look, the one that says a thousand words without a sound. He's telling you to tread lightly.
"Alright, I'll be good," you giggle, the tension easing from your shoulders. "Can you take me home now, please?"
He nods, "Yeah, let's get you home."
And then he leads you out, thinking to himself that the next person to take you out will be him, but that's for him to know and you to find out later.
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna
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luveline · 6 months ago
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I wanted to know how Aaron Hotchner would react to discovering the existence of a daughter (something from college perhaps), she would be his copy both in appearance and personality
—Hotch has a surprise visitor and the world spins on a new axis. daughter!reader, 2.2k
readers physical traits like hair and skin colour are not mentioned, but she is described as looking like her mother (also not described) and as sharing some characteristics with Hotch!<3 I also altered canon so that Hotch and Haley take a break at college 
“There is a kid in your office.” 
“Morgan?” 
Hotch pulls his phone away to check. D. Morgan blinks on his phone screen. It’s a slightly absurd sentence. 
“There’s a child in my office?” he asks, returning the phone to his ear. 
“I’m standing with her right now. She won’t tell me who she is. Anderson let her in.” 
“How old?” Hotch asks, scratching his cheek. God forbid he steal two minutes of peace in the bathroom. 
“How old are you, sweetheart?”
“I’m twenty two,” a feminine voice says. 
“You said kid,” Hotch says, frowning. 
“Anyone under twenty five is a kid to me. Are you on your way?” 
He sighs. “Yeah,” he says, and hangs up, dropping the small body of his phone into his pocket. Twenty two isn’t a kid, it’s a year younger than Spencer was when he started at the BAU; Hotch doesn’t underestimate the intelligence of young adults. Why you’re in his office is another thing. He can’t have one day without inconvenience. 
Hotch makes his way into the BAU office and up the stairs to the half level where his own office resides. Morgan leans against the door with his arms crossed, standing to attention when Hotch passes. 
“Thanks, Morgan,” Hotch says. 
Morgan nods, sending a curious gaze at you before he leaves. 
You’re dressed very formally for someone your age, but it’s not as though this is different from the norm of the building. You have on a dark shirt with a starched collar and a fitted blazer, a crisp skirt, and leather Mary Jane heels, one pressed flat to the back of the other. 
You stand when he comes in. 
“Mr. Hotchner?” you ask. 
“Yes?” he asks. 
You have a small file in your hand. Paper with worn edges pokes out of one side as though you’d been looking through it and put it hastily away, and the Manila file itself is fresh.
“Do we know one another?” he asks. 
You look familiar. It’s possible he would’ve known your parents —it could make sense. A colleague or acquaintance assumed he could help you with something, and you in your naivety you made your way in. 
“I think you know my mother.” 
“And she was?” he prompts. Not impolite, but needing to move forward. He’s very busy. 
You take a small step back. “Mr. Hotchner,” you say again, something nervous in your eyes as you lift your chin, “I don’t want to waste your time. I’m aware I might sound foolish, or that this… might not be something you want to hear, but. My mother told me you met in college, and that…” 
You bite your lip. 
He’s incredibly confused now. Not one to let a stranger suffer whether in real pain or awkwardness, he opens his hand. “Can I?” 
“Yes, sir,” you say.
You don’t want to pass it over, but you do as he’s asked. 
The photograph is a shock, held with a paperclip to a magnolia sheet of paper. It’s of Hotch, undoubtedly, a much younger Hotch sitting on a bench with a woman he recognises immediately. He only looks at her, and he knows why you’re here, and he knows exactly what you’re thinking. 
“Do you remember her?” you ask quietly.
He doesn’t answer.
“She says you’re the only man that could… possibly be my father.” You hold your hands behind your back. 
He lifts the photograph. There’s not much else to look at, only your photo ID, your birth certificate where he is glaringly not listed, as well as your mother’s birth certificate, and proof of her enrollment at George Washington University. 
You look a little teary. Trying very hard to be sober, as you have been since he laid eyes on you, but clearly getting more and more upset as time goes on. He’s feeling a similar ache, a searing pain in his chest, staring at you from over the Manila folder to really, really look at you. He swears he can see something of himself in your face, though he’s not sure what. Perhaps it’s wishful thinking. 
There’s certainly some of him in your frown. 
“I think you should sit down,” he says softly. 
You sit down immediately in the chair you’d inhabited a few minutes ago. 
He’s not sure what to say. Are you sure it could only be him? Is your mother? But you’re looking at him with an expression he practically trademarked, whether he wanted to or not, and the proof is in his hands: you’re your mother’s daughter, and Hotch would have slept with her almost twenty three years ago. He doesn’t need much time to do the math. 
“I realise my word alone isn’t a lot to go on, sir, so– so if you’d want to, I’ll of course submit for a paternity test. Or if you want nothing to do with me, that’s okay too.” 
“It’s not okay,” he says, closing your folder. 
Your eyes widen just a touch. 
“Can I sit with you?” he asks. 
You push your chair back to make lots of room. He sits in the chair besides yours, cautious that being across a desk from you is insensitive, or cold, at least. 
He looks at you and he’s sure that you’re his. The longer you sit there, the more sure he becomes.
“I do want a paternity test,” he says, watching your tight nod. 
He believes you. And truly, if he was unsure of what you’re saying he’d still give you grace now, because the first time you meet your father should be full of love. He should’ve been there to hold you in one arm twenty two years ago, he should’ve been there for you through everything he’s already missed. 
“But I believe you,” he says.
“You do?” 
“I’m a very good judge of character. I know that you believe what you’re telling me completely,” he says.
“How?”
“When you’re nervous your hand drifts to your chest, but you didn’t move when you suggested I’m your father. You haven’t once checked the door or looked toward the camera in the corner of the room.” And the full truth. “I want to believe you.” 
“Why?” you ask.
“You look like your mother, but…” He lets himself smile. “You sound like me.” 
You laugh under your breath. “Hopefully not so deep.” 
“I’ve had it described to me as mellifluous.” 
“I’ve wanted to hear your voice since I can remember. My mom didn’t talk about you much, but I’ve always wondered. She told me she didn’t know who you were, and…”
“And you believed her. Any child would do the same.” 
“She’s made mistakes.” You look to him with eyebrows gently pinched, asking him to understand. “But I looked you up. When she told me your name, I looked for you online, and… I always thought I never needed you, even if I wanted to know you. I thought you might want to know me. I thought that a man like you would want to know.”
There’s something you’re not saying. Hotch doesn’t mind. “Of course I want to know you.” 
You chance a smile at him. “You really believe me?” 
“You were expecting me to turn you away.” 
“No, just– I’m not a kid, even if your colleague said so. And I’m not an image of you, I don’t have your eyes. All I have is that photograph. There's not much evidence to go on.” 
He sees no reason why a young girl like you would walk into his office and tell him who you are. Self preservation insists on a paternity test, and soon —UnSubs haven’t ever done something so conniving as imitating a family member yet, but there’s no prediction for evil— but Hotch has an inherent sense of the truth.  
“What do you do?” he asks. 
You frown. “Sorry?” 
“What do you do?” he asks again, “You’re dressed like a lawyer.” 
You nod with a smile you’re pushing into a flat line unsuccessfully. “I’m at GWU. For law, like you and my mom.” 
“She only just told you who I am?” He speaks each word carefully. 
“The photo fell out of an old album, and I had a funny feeling. I asked her about it and she said I’m too much like you. She admitted it like the secret had been eating her alive.” You look at your hand on the armrest. “We aren’t getting along right now.” 
“I don’t know why she wouldn’t tell you. Or me,” he says honestly. 
“I don’t know either.” 
Hotch is expecting a lot more awkwardness than he feels as he puts his hand over yours. You stay very still. 
“Thank you for coming here today.” He gives your hand the barest squeeze and stands. “Have you eaten? I could take you out for dinner,” he suggests. 
You stand with him. “Are you serious?” you ask, gentle and pleased at once. 
“I think you have a lot to tell me, and I’d love to listen.” 
“You’re not working?” 
Sometimes, sometimes, there are things that can be worked around or held on the back burner. You and Hotch go for lunch. 
Aaron Hotchner knows many important people. Your paternity test takes a day, less than twenty four hours from the time you both submit samples, but you have a class you can’t miss and he’s sure you’re nervous, so you don’t meet again for two days regardless. By then, you both know the results. (And Aaron’s had to have a very strange conversation with his wife, in which she doesn’t believe him, and then has to sit down.) 
He can admit to being far more protective of you once he knows the truth for sure, though he knows it before the results come back. You’re his daughter, and he’s left you without a father for two decades of your life, your formative years, time he can never get back. 
He doesn’t even know what to do. How can he make up for it? Twenty two years of birthday cards? He feels like buying you a diamond necklace with a stone for each year, and then he wants to buy you a house, but mostly he wants to give you a hug. He thinks about it for so long the morning before he’s scheduled to meet you again that it makes him as upset as he’s ever been in his life, desperate to say sorry to you and your mother and furious with her for keeping you a secret. 
He thinks of all those years without an inkling of your existence, and now you’re the only thing he can think about. His remorse makes him sick. 
You’re smiling when you see him. For a millisecond, you look like Jack. 
“Hi, Mr. Hotchner!” you say, standing from the table, your formal dress and cardigan pressed neatly, your hands held behind your back.
‘Mr. Hotchner’ will need to be fixed quickly, though he won’t force you to call him anything else. He can’t help himself, however.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he says softly. 
You pause, and you laugh. “This is weird.” 
He doesn’t mean to make it weirder, but he opens his arms, and he waits for an indication that you might not want a hug before he leans in to hold you. You’re still so young. There’s still time for him to be a good father to you. 
He can’t say everything he needs to in his hug, and at the end of the day he’s a stranger to you; you probably don’t want him to hug you for too long. But he rubs your back, and he promises himself that he won’t let you down twice.
Your arm curls tentatively behind his back. For a second, you press your face to his shoulder and breathe. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, pulling away. 
Your lip twitches to one side like his would when presented with such heavy sincerity. “I’m okay. How did, um, Haley take the news?” 
“She just wants to meet you, okay? You’re part of my family now.” 
You give no indication you’ve heard what it is he’s saying to you, or whether you like it as you sit down at the dinner table. He quite likes that some way, somehow, you’ve become like him, but he wonders if he might not love it so much when he asks how your mom is taking this new development and you just smile. 
“We’re going to tell Jack about everything this weekend,” he adds. “He’ll be excited, if no one else.” 
“And Haley doesn’t mind?” 
“She’s not going to ask you to babysit anytime soon, honey, but no, of course she doesn’t. He should meet his sister before she’s too old for legos.” 
You actually laugh. 
Dad humour transcends age, and for that, Hotch is grateful. 
only after I finished did I wonder if I misinterpreted the request and this was supposed to be x reader with a shared daughter so if that’s the case I’m sorry original requester!! and I can totally write that if that’s what you meant 🫶❤️
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lavenderspence · 4 months ago
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A bunch of cuties in love | A.H.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
Content warning: fluff, nicknames (i think that's about it?)
Word Count: 2.2K
Summary: Running late to a meeting with Strauss, Hotch leaves Jack with his favorite person - you. The scene that greets him when he comes back leads to some realizations. 
Request: Hotch request: BAU!Reader is Jack’s favorite and always spends the day with them when he’s brought along to the office. They have a cute bonding moment that Hotch secretly watches. Cue the “oh god I’m in love with them aren’t I”
A/N: it’s been two months today since I made this blog, and it’s been wild, it’s been fun, and it’s been a little teary. thank you for the love and support! Please enjoy this cute little hotch piece, I had a blast writing it! Thank you to the anon who requested this, and I’d love to hear what you think! Also, I miss old Disney😭
masterlist
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9:23.
On the days you weren’t working on a case, and the only thing you really needed to catch up on was paperwork, your usual start time was 8:30. Yet almost an hour had gone by and he wasn’t in his office like he usually would be.
With a punctual Unit Chief like Aaron Hotchner, it was a shock, and a little nerve-wracking that he was late. 
You’d lie if you didn’t say you were getting a little worried, taking into account the last and only time he’d been late - Foyet attacking him in his own home, leaving him with long-lasting trauma, scars, and without his family. 
You'd never forget that day, and every day after where he was left to suffer, laying the blame on himself. No matter how many times you said it, how many times Rossi patted him on the back, reminding him it wasn't his fault, you knew a part of him still didn't believe it.
And the part of you that cared about him, maybe a little more than you should, didn't have the heart to watch him do this to himself - the silent guilt, the long empty looks. 
You’ve known him awhile, seen him through many of his ups, and just as many as his downs. You’d seen him laugh in glee and beam with happiness, you’d seen him lose it in anger and anguish and you’d seen him cry in heartbreak. 
So much of your life spent beside him, so many memories linked with him, and your team. And much of it you knew was friendly love - your love for Emily and Spencer, JJ and Morgan, Penelope and Rossi. But the love you felt for him was just a tiny bit different, deeper, not the friendly kind. 
You’d only recently started to understand what you were really feeling for him, as recent as the last few weeks. Still new and a little unexplainable at times, you were learning to balance that, within your friendship.
You didn’t think you wanted to pursue anything, right now. It had been a little over two years since he’d lost Haley, since he’d needed to start navigating his life as a single dad, a widower. 
You could still see the pain in his eyes, fresh as the day it had happened. You knew he was managing, but it was still apparent, that it was hitting them both hard.
And Jack? He was a little ray of sunshine in the otherwise gruesome life all of you led - the same could be said about Henry. But Henry was Reid's favorite, as his godfather, you knew the bond between them was unbreakable. 
But Jack? You were his favorite, and he was yours. 
He was your little buddy, your partner in all things art, cartoons, and Disney shows. He was your little helper during all things baking - you'd babysat once and he'd requested chocolate chip, peanut butter cookies and you'd been more than happy to help him make them.
He was a natural baker and a little taster. 
Your love for the little cutie ran as deep as your feelings for his dad.
At the end of the day though, you were a friend, a shoulder both could use to lean on and rely on. You were comfortable in your role within their little family and weren't looking to make any changes then.
9:28.
You were playing with your watch, already having decided you’d be giving him a call if he didn't arrive by 9:30.
Worry was making your hands sweat, and just as you went to wipe them on your pants, the door to the bullpen opened, and in walked a very frantic Hotch - his tie was a little crooked, shirt a little wrinkled, and Jack - a little backpack on his back, and a curious look paired with a timid smile.
Aaron's eyes searched the bullpen, as did Jack's, the little Hotchner noticing you seconds before his father did. You stood up, watching as the blond pulled away from his dad, and on a little run, made his way towards you. 
“Cutiee.” He called out, using the nickname you called him, to address you too. You leaned down when he was a few steps away, accepting his hug, his little arms wrapping around your neck. 
“Hi, cutie.” You greeted him, a wide smile on your face. Hotch had made his way over to you by then, giving you a barely-there smile, but his eyes shone.
“You're late.” You started, pulling to your full height.
“Yeah, Jessica was called on an emergency at the last minute, and Liah is away on a hiking trip, so here we are.” Liah was Hotch's neighbor, she looked after Jack for a few hours when Hotch couldn't stay with him, or Jess was busy.
He looked at his watch, running a hand through his hair, messing it up a little.
“I have a meeting with Strauss…well, right now. Can you please watch him until I get done?” 
“Go, don't make her wait. We'll be okay and we're going to have fun. Right, Jack?” You watched him nod at both you and his dad before Hotch exhaled.
“You're a lifesaver. Be good for Y/N, okay buddy.” Another nod from Jack, and he was on his way to Strauss's office.
‘’Okay Jack, let's see if Aunt Penelope can download a few episodes of ‘The Suite Life’ for us, and then we'll go color and draw for a while. Does that sound good to you?” 
“Very good. Can I also have orange juice?” He asked, taking your hand in his small, soft one, fingers wrapping around your own.
“Let's go see if we have any.” You walked towards the small communal kitchen space, checking the fridge and then you checked the pantry…and, “Bingo. Let's go see the lair.” You led him to Penelope's office.
“Knock, knock, may us mortals enter?” You joked, making your little partner giggle. 
“Us?” Her voice rang from the other side of the door.
“I have sir Hotchner with me. The smaller one.”
“Hey,” Jack said in outrage
“My favorite Hotchner.” You added.
Penelope pulled the door open, beaming at both of you, before she made space for you to enter. 
“Jack, my love, hi,” She raised her hand, letting him give her a high five. Even though she was affectionate, Jack wasn’t as much, especially after Haley. He only hugged a few people now - Jess, his dad, and surprisingly, you. 
It really showed how comfortable he was with you.
“What brings you to my tech cave?” She asked. You raised your brows at him, prompting him to do the talking. 
“Can you, please, download a few episodes of Zack and Cody for us?” His voice rang with its usual child calm and sweetness, fingers intertwined in front of him. 
Penelope's smile softened even more, “Sure thing, sweetie,” Her eyes turned towards you then, “Your tablet?”
“Yes, please.” You knew it was a work tablet, but no one had to know.
“Any requests?” She asked the little guy.
“You pick.”
“Okay-dokey. Should have it in about 10 minutes, my loves.”
“Thank you, Aunt Penelope.”
“Thanks Pen.” You gave her air kisses before you led Jack out and towards his father's office. 
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His day had started rocky, hell, the whole night had gone that way. 
Jack had woken up from a nightmare - twice at that. After the second time, he’d asked Aaron to sleep in his bed, too scared and sad to stay in his room.
He’d snoozed his alarm, just once, and had a hard time waking his son up too. He’d had 20 minutes to get himself ready, but Jessica had called 10 minutes before she was supposed to arrive - apologizing because she’d been called on an emergency at work. 
Aaron had to rearrange his whole morning then, already aware he’d be late for work. He’d had to get Jack and his backpack ready and cook him breakfast. All of that, and be in the office before his 9:30 meeting with Strauss. 
Breakfast and preparing Jack for a day at the BAU, he’d done successfully. Arriving on time had been a little tricky, with barely 2 minutes to spare. 
But when he’d walked into the bullpen, Jack spotting you just seconds before he did, and he’d watched your smile grow, he’d known all would be okay. 
Watching you with Jack always brought a warm feeling within him, like he was watching something sacred. You were always patient and kind, always interested in listening to him talk, even though he was a quiet kid, who appreciated quality time more. 
You gave him that too, and a lot of it - you watched cartoons and shows with him. Colored and drew, baked cookies, and played with him whenever he wanted. Any time spent with Jack was about what he wanted, what he liked doing, and above all, making him comfortable. 
Even if it meant cleaning flour off your kitchen floor and whatever had gotten in the drawers too. 
He appreciated, even loved the bond you had with his son, every smile, every hug, and every minute you spend with him. He loved hearing about you from Jack - what you’d done together, what you’d told him, the stories, the jokes, the conversations. 
Hearing his son proclaim you as his favorite person in the BAU had made his heart soar. Taking into account all the time you spent with him, it wasn’t really a surprise. He bonded hard, but once he did, he never went back.
He was much like Aaron himself in that regard. His trust had to be earned, as did his friendship, and it required hard work. Jack was much the same. And you’d successfully earned both of theirs with your beautiful and caring personality. 
He exhaled a breath, checking his watch, step fast, and briefcase in hand. 
11:18.
His meeting with Strauss had run longer than he’d anticipated - over an hour and a half. Diplomacy, politics, budgets, and cuts, they’d run through countless things, half of that meeting already fully blacked out from his memory. 
He was tired - every meeting with Strauss left him drained. Worried,  about Jack and his state of mind after last night. All he wanted to do was get to his office and check up on his son. 
Walking into the bullpen for the second time that day, he quickly made his way towards his office, only to stop short at the window. The blinds were open, having forgotten to close them last night, so he had a clear and full view of his office.
You were sat on the couch close to the armrest, Jack cuddled against you, cheek squished against your collarbone, face almost buried in your neck. 
Your work tablet sat propped on the coffee table, and your arm wrapped around his small body, keeping him close. His eyes were almost closed, your thumb running soothingly on his back. 
He watched, mesmerized by the scene. He felt himself soften, all of him. His face, the furrow in his brow, and the tight set of his lips. His whole body, his heart, suddenly at peace. 
For months he'd observed the kindness you showed everyone - the families of victims, heartbroken by the injustice of life. Passersby, people you might never see again. Your team, especially, your work family. Jack, and even Aaron himself. 
And as he watched you with his son, the one person left in this world who truly loved him, no matter his rights or wrongs - he couldn't help but feel himself unravel. 
Every little thought he'd had about you, every feeling he might have somehow suppressed in order to protect himself and his child, they all attacked him, in seconds. 
Because the truth was, you earned his trust, his friendship, and somehow along the way, you'd won his heart as well.
Right at that moment, his heart pounded in need, in adoration, in pure, clear love. Love he hadn't allowed himself to feel since Haley. Love, he'd frankly hadn't felt in years, ever since he’d put his signature down on the dotted line. 
He wanted to get home to see this. He wanted to see you put Jack to bed, and kiss his forehead with a whispered ‘good night’.
He wanted to stroke your cheek tenderly, pull you into a kiss that made you melt, and stroke a fire within you like no one else could. 
He wanted to tell you he loved you - in the car, as he drove you to work. In the kitchen during breakfast and dinner. In his office, a few stolen moments as you worked. And under the sheets, while you made love. 
And even through the fear that gripped him in a vice, of rejection, separation, and even trust - he still wanted to love you, as if he was loving someone for the first time again. 
“Everything okay, Aaron?” David asked, passing on the way to his office. 
Aaron barely spared him a glance, nodding his head a little, “Yeah, it's okay.”
He pushed the door to his office open and walked in, greeted by his new favorite sight, and his two favorite people. 
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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ssahotchnerr · 8 months ago
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omg could you maybe write something about reader going to one of jacks soccer games and all of the moms are jealous of her bc she’s with hotch
not so friendly competition
omg i absolutely can cw; fem!reader, jealous suburban moms, one tries to make a pass at aaron, established relationship, small angst?, pettiness, aaron being adorable <3 wc; 1.3k
from the moment you arrived - a hand clasped in aaron's, jack excitedly sprinting ahead the two of you - you could feel the target on your back.
the warm, refreshing morning suddenly felt quite stuffy. as if strangely enough, there wasn't enough air to go around. the feeling especially solidified when aaron gave you a sweet, parting kiss - him off to uphold his coaching duties, you off to find a spot on the grass to set up your chair.
you half expected it, the feeling out of place and self consciousness; this was jack's second season playing soccer, aaron's second season coaching, and most of the players had returned from last year. long story short, and entering a relationship with aaron only a few weeks after jack's season had concluded, you were the new face.
not only that, you were missing a common trait amongst the others. you weren't, by definition, jack's mom.
it was a silly, technical notion, and it was quite possible you weren't the only outlier, but you simply wanted to belong there just as much as the others. to feel as if you belonged.
and that's definitely not how you currently felt.
despite your perception - hoping you had falsely and quickly misjudged the atmosphere - you offered the moms a smile and a hello as you got settled. you got maybe one, two responses in return, before they resumed their ongoing conversation without you. any hopefulness that remained, deflated as you sat there silently.
and while you weren't exactly listening to them, you could still make out bits and pieces of their conversation. however, your ears fully perked up at the mention of aaron. which also brought you into the discussion.
"you're with the coach?"
her question wasn't based on genuine interest, a getting-to-know-type basis, a friendly conversation starter. but, it was rather accusatory, as if you'd done something detrimentally wrong.
you nodded, your eyebrows furrowing briefly in confusion. "yes?"
"like... with him?"
oh.
the standoffish environment wasn't due to you being unwelcome, or, at least not in the way you had previously anticipated. it was jealousy, plain jealousy. they must've spent all of last season ogling aaron, and here you were, getting in the way.
again, you nodded in confirmation. a few grimaces were produced amongst several faces, igniting something deep within you, suddenly feeling very protective of aaron and your relationship.
you casually shot back, relentlessly, "why, is that a problem?"
the mom shrugged, pulling her eyes from yours annoyingly, as if you'd done her an injustice.
she didn't stop there though, uttering something under her breath. while you didn't hear what it was exactly - the low tone definitely indicated she had just insulted you in one way or another.
and choosing to remain on the civil side, you held your tongue.
the whispers continued sparingly; as much as it stung, and as much as the red-hot feeling that had settled in your body was uncomfortable, why should you let it affect you? they weren't a threat, they were suburban moms - probably peaked in high school, probably relied off their husband's salary, probably thought they were better than each and every person they came across.
you could be annoyed, but you weren't worried. the bigger picture, you had what they wanted; you had aaron. you've already won, despite any fights they attempted to pick.
"i need to stretch my legs." the same woman abruptly said, loudly to gain your interest.
she promptly rose, walking towards the team's bench. or more specifically, right up to aaron.
she was quick to strike up a conversation with him - overdramatizing her already-shrill laugh, displaying open body language, the sweetest smile she could muster up.
what did you in, a 'friendly' touch to his arm before she retreated, whenever she finished saying whatever the hell was so important she had felt the need to interrupt his coaching for.
and throughout such, aaron appeared as his typical friendly self as he engaged with her, as expected. although a look of confusion did flash across his face when she graced his arm.
your jaw clenched in anger, but you kept reminding yourself: her actions were just to spite you, just to piss you off, and you refused to give her the reaction she seemingly so desperately craved.
so when she returned, with an awfully smug look plastered on her face and dropping into her chair with a sense of pure satisfaction, you kept your focus forward. you came to watch jack's game, and that's exactly what you were going to do.
but during the mid-game break, once aaron had finished talking with the kids and they sprinted back onto the field to practice some goals, did you approach him.
"hi sweetheart," aaron mumbled into your skin as he kissed your temple, one of his hands comfortably finding your back. "enjoying the game?"
you nodded, offering him a timid smile.
"what's wrong?"
"nothing." you lied, tucking yourself into his chest. you took a deep breath and sighed, smelling the traces of light sweat and grass clinging to him.
"you don't think i buy that, do you?" he asked, a gentle, almost comical tone to his words - all to lighten up your present tension. "what is it?"
you shook your head, "i don't want to talk about it..." your eyes shot over to your new best friends, whose eyes were glued to the two of you. "here."
aaron glanced over at them, profiling immediately. "are they giving you a hard time?"
after a moment's hesitation, an annoyed huff escaped you. "let's just say they're not too happy that the coach is taken."
"what?" aaron laughed breathlessly, his face scrunching the smallest amount in confusion. "half of them are married."
"clearly that doesn't matter, they're still over there undressing you with their eyes." you arched an eyebrow, the scowl on your face only deepening.
"c'mon, you're too pretty to make that face." aaron lightly teased, kissing your pout gently. at the touch, your face did relax, the ends of your lips itching to turn upwards into a smile.
"oh they're gonna hate that you did that."
aaron shrugged, kissing you again. "let them."
you surrendered yourself to your smile, but you still frustratedly crossed your arms in front of your chest. "it's ridiculous."
aaron was quick to untangle your hands, holding onto them and applying a gentle squeeze. "you know you don't have competition. you have me."
"i know. that's why i feel so stupid i'm letting it bother me." you gritted through your teeth. "what did that one woman even say to you?"
"truthfully, i couldn't tell you. i wasn't paying attention." he answered honestly, his eyebrows drawing into a line as he even attempted to mentally recall it.
you couldn't help but laugh, pressing yourself more into him. "you're insufferable."
"i try." aaron joked, but his expression switched tactics, to genuine concern as he moved in front of you, "in all seriousness, are you going to be okay?"
"yeah." you brought your hands to his chest, running your thumbs against his pecs affectionately. you already were. "i have you, don't i?"
"and you could always stay here with me." aaron playfully, but earnestly offered. "and be my beautiful, thoughtful, astounding, beautiful assistant coach."
"you drive a hard bargain," your eyebrows rose, feeling his chuckle underneath your fingers. "but it's okay. i'm not gonna let them think they're running the show, or that they can step on me like that." you shook your head. "and as needed, i might have to flaunt you around."
aaron grinned, proudly. "that's my girl."
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irndad · 8 months ago
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won't you be my sunshine-a.h.
a/n: runner!hotch x sunshine!reader !! sooooo fluffy, first hotch fic of mine so be gentle with me! lots of pining and happy end <3 happy to continue with these two in an au!
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Aaron Hotchner is not a particularly emotive man. 
This is a skill he has honed, a cherished quality that was not born of luck or of natural ability, but a skill that he has honed down to a fine tip point. He needs to be, in this job. It’s cost him things, of course, but for the most part, Aaron is happy with his choices. He takes a firm line with people he works with, and does not always let up in his personal life.
The only time this sometimes causes a hitch, is in his romantic life.
Which isn’t to say that he has one. 
There is a woman who reads in the park every morning. Aaron affectionately thinks of this bench as her bench, as it is marked by wisterias and hyacinths on either end of it. It’s something of a ritual, after his runs, that they talk. 
It’s fun. He doesn’t have a lot of space for fun. He’d collapsed on the bench one day after siphoning his anger at a particular case into a difficult run. He’d crashed onto the bench, sweaty and exhausted and hadn’t even seen her there. Which is a bit impressive, as she’s hard to miss the sight of. It is also in equal measure embarrassing. It’s not every day you collapse in front of a gorgeous woman, disturbing her from what is likely a lovely afternoon in the park.
That’s how it started, anyway. She doesn’t run, so each break is punctuated by her company. He’s actually not sure if they’re flirting. He’s not very good at that- the last time he has to he was 17 and so full of unearned confidence, he lucked into a partnership. 
Now, he’s a bit older and a lot more scarred. She’s younger than him, not by much. She laughs with her whole chest at his dry, glib humor- and this is something Aaron had forgotten. The joy of a beautiful, wonderful woman’s company beside you. 
He feels a little out of place next to her. Romance is not something he does. Ever thought he’d do again, really. That’s not to say that this is romance. Their romance is almost entirely hypothetical. He thinks of her at work, which is a monumental development in and of itself. 
“So, how was the paperwork? I know you’ve been taking a little more on since your colleague had a baby. It’s so kind of you to do it.” She asks him on a beautiful August morning. 
He fights off a blush that she remembers what he’s done for JJ. He’s not big on mentioning his own good deeds. Aaron believes that this would cancel it out. Still, her praise is a warm balm to the exhaustion that plagues him. It’s hedonistic, the way he wants her to say more about him. He wonders absentmindedly if she knew everything about him that’s hard to love, she’d still paint him with such a light and warm glance. She’s bright enough, he’s tempted to tell her everything about him just because she asks. 
“It was…alright. My team is excellent. I’m lucky to work with people like them, it makes the process better. I couldn’t ask for more.”
She giggles a little at this, and there’s that roar of affection. 
He feels a sense of ease around her, one that is suspicious for him. He tries not to romanticize, but this connection is hard not to. She’s beautiful- this is obvious to anyone who meets her, a simple truth of her. But Aaron is trained to notice things little factors that show the truth of someone. 
He likes to watch her- it’s a pleasant thing, getting to be in her presence. It’s a little addicting, the way she looks at him. It makes him feel like all of the things he knows to be true of himself- his relative failures, the closed-off nature of his demeanor- are things that not only can be overlooked, but don’t seem to be in her line of sight at all. It’s an honor, to have her doe eyes rake over the sight of him, to meet him with gentle conversation. 
He tries not to notice that she is gorgeous. Aaron has been around beautiful women, of course- this is not something that should surprise him. But there’s something effervescent about her, something that his him wondering if it’s possible that she might feel the same way about him. He knows that he used to be a more attractive man, but now. Well, he’s a bit bruised, both metaphorically and physically. 
It feels odd to even think of this happening. She’s just got a warm, sweet tone and he replays what it’s like when she greets him. She smiles her brilliant grin and sometimes hugs him. It’s embarrassing how much he likes the feeling of it- soft curves against hard muscle and scarred skin. She always smells wonderful, and he wonders how nice it would be to have more of this. 
“I like your new shirt, by the way.” She smiles at him, and his heart jumps. It feels juvenile, but- she’s wearing a new lipstick, it seems. Her beautiful pout looks awfully tempting. 
“I like the lip color,” he tries to compliment back amenably, but that doesn’t stick. Instead, it comes out too earnest. He’s hyper aware of the fact that she’s right by him. She flushes, and Aaron feels a surge of pride. 
“Thank you,” she says, voice softer and flattered, and isn’t that a pretty sound? He’d love to do that for her, make her feel seen, make her feel like she’s as beautiful as she is, “I thought you might like it.”
It’s her directiveness that breaks the seal, he supposes looking back. Because she wore the lipstick for him. That’s just about the only thing it can mean, and he is struck with a particularly sensory fantasy of what it would be like to slot his mouth against hers- he gets the feeling it might be worth it even if he gets the color on his mouth. 
He’s a gentleman, though, he decides after a decidedly ungentlemanly amount of time spend staring at the gorgeous curve of her lips. 
“Would you want to get dinner with me?” He hears himself say it before he’s processed it, and then it’s out into the world. His heart is hammering and he’s blaming on the run, when god, it’s absolutely about how breathtaking she looks, the sunlight reflecting off her hair like a halo. When she beams back at him, she looks particularly angelic. 
It’s then, she leans over and kisses him on the cheek. 
“I thought you’d never ask.”
(Months later, when she is sitting on his kitchen counter and he is standing between her legs, gazing down at her with unabated fondness because he is entitled to that, he reflects on this moment and thinks god, how lucky am I, that I ran past that bench?) 
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headkiss · 1 year ago
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something more
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pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!bau!reader
summary: you and aaron are friends with feelings more obvious than you think. or: 5 times the team suspects you and hotch are dating +1 time they know it.
word count: 6.6k
warnings: friends to lovers, the team being a little nosy, pining idiots!!!, probably inaccurate descriptions of bau jobs (for the plot!), a very small injury, a birthday, a first kiss, and fluff!
a/n: hiii this one has been a long time coming so thank you guys for being so patient with me!!! and special thanks to the anon who requested this one! i hope u guys enjoy it and please please let me know what you think <3 ily
Aaron Hotchner was never someone you thought you could be this close to.
Coming to the BAU, you’d been intimidated more than anything. As Unit Chief, he’s got a reputation that’s hard to ignore. Professional, brave, cold when he has to be. His success and talent were undeniable, and all you wanted to do was prove that you belonged there, too.
Then, you really met him, and he surprised you in a way you hadn’t expected. Hotch was kind right off the bat, welcoming you to the team with a smile that felt like some sort of prize.
He was an excellent boss. Understanding and protective, quick to defend anyone on the team like they were his own family. Except, he was so much more than just your boss.
Now, you’d call him your closest friend, someone who’s number you’d call if you were in trouble. He’s your closest friend and yet you feel so much more for him.
It started slow, a friendship blooming the way a plant does with just enough sunlight. It was a shared smile here, a nudge of the shoulder there. It grew to be a seat next to him reserved for you on every plane ride.
Today, it’s eating lunch with him in his office.
Aaron usually works through lunch, more eager to get things done than he is to worry about skipping a meal. Somehow, with two tupperware containers in your hand and a sweet smile, you’d managed to get him to take a break.
“Whatcha doing?” You’d asked.
Hotch looked up from his paperwork then, dropping his pen because you were in his doorway. “You know, Unit Chief business. Reports.”
“Sounds like you have time for lunch, then.” You set the containers down on his desk, making sure to avoid the papers he’d just been working on.
“I should really get this done-”
“Hotch,” you stopped him, “you and I both know that you’re always ahead on this stuff because you stay here so late. Lunch won’t set you back.”
With a shake of his head and the biting back of a smile, a simple twitch at the corners of his mouth, Aaron agreed and stacked his paperwork off to the side.
That’s how you’ve ended up in the chair that’s usually on the opposite side of his desk, only now it’s tugged to be next to his. Your knees touch every so often when one of you shifts, and the warmth stays with you even when the contact is gone.
“Sorry it’s nothing fancy,” you say as he opens the container you brought for him.
“Don’t apologize. It’s great.” Hotch has a way of saying things that make them sound true, no matter how few words he uses, so you accept it.
“Okay, good!” There’s a small silence, a lull as you both take your first bites. “Can I help with anything?”
Aaron looks from the paperwork to your face, your eyes already on his. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” you reassure him. “I think sometimes you forget that you aren’t the only one who can do this stuff.”
He knocks his knee against yours. Purposeful this time. A silent ‘thank you.’
“Like you said, I’m ahead anyways. I’ve got it.”
“Come on, Hotch. I’m already done with my report from our last case. I’ve got time. Let me help.”
He’s always been reluctant to accept help, to ask for it, but when you’re asking so sweetly, when it’ll give him an excuse to spend more time with you, it’s hard for Aaron to say no.
“Alright. You help for an hour, that’s it.”
You grin at him, like his acceptance of your offer was some kind of gift he’d given you. Your nose crinkles a little with it, and his hand flexes in his lap, like he’s fighting not to reach out to you.
“Okay, put me to work, boss.”
“We just started lunch,” he says, a little chuckle puffing out.
“Have you ever heard of multitasking, Agent Hotchner?”
Aaron laughs, shaking his head as he reaches for one of the files in the stack he’d made and hands it to you. He’d call everyone at the BAU a friend, but there’s something different, something more about how he’d describe you.
He’s grown closer to you than he usually lets himself get to people, like you’re the only one with the right tools to break through walls he’s put up. You see each other outside of work (on the rare days you aren’t working), and still, he feels like it’s never long enough.
Hotch briefly wonders if he could just move your desk into his office. He shakes off the thought and what it might mean.
Head bent, you’re now focused on the work he gave you, and Aaron takes the chance to admire you. His eyes flick over your profile, the light hitting your cheeks, the flutter of your eyelashes every time you blink.
As if you could feel his gaze on you, you turn towards him and smile—a small, closed-mouth smile, but a smile all the same—before turning your attention back to the page.
When you take a pause and take another bite of your lunch, a small drop of sauce lands on your thigh. “Oh, shit.”
Aaron grabs a tissue from the box on his desk, wrapping it over his fingertip before wiping the small spot from your leg, his finger a spark against you even through your pants.
“Good thing you wore black,” he says, tossing the tissue in the garbage. His hand, however, stays on your leg, and though the touch is light the weight of it feels the opposite. Heavy, huge.
“Good thing you’re here to clean up after me, more like.”
Your eyes meet, and you share a smile with Hotch the way you often do. Mid-conversation, across a room, it’s a smile you sort of reserve for each other.
In the main office below, Derek, Spencer, and JJ stand together, watching the interaction through the window into Hotch’s office. You and Aaron seem to be in your own bubble, completely unaware of your small audience.
“They’ve gotta be together,” Derek is the first to speak, waving a hand towards the office where you and Hotch are talking. “I mean, come on.”
“I don’t know,” JJ shrugs, “they both seem kinda clueless.”
“We probably shouldn’t speculate about them,” Spencer, always the sweetheart, says. “But, statistically, Hotch never eats lunch. Just saying.”
JJ pats Reid on the shoulder, huffing out a laugh before she heads back to her desk.
You stay in Aaron’s office much longer than an hour that day.
-
Punctuality is important in the BAU. Really, if you’re not early, you’re late. You’ve always got to be ready, wheels up in ten, or five.
You suppose that doesn’t really apply to outside-of-the-office parties at Garcia’s.
It’s rare that you’re all available at the same time, from late nights at the bureau to families, it’s tough to make your schedules line up when you aren’t working, which is why whenever she can, Penelope likes to host drinks for the team.
You’re on your way there now, or, you should be. Instead, you’re getting ready in your bedroom while Aaron waits in your living room.
Hotch has offered to drive you to these things every time, and with every offer, comes your easy answer of ‘yes.’ He’d been outside in his car for five minutes before he decided to call, because you’re usually in his passenger seat within seconds of him pulling over by your building.
The ringing of your phone had your eyes blinking open, squinted against the sudden brightness of your TV. You’d accidentally fallen asleep, and, still disoriented, picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey, everything okay?” It’s Aaron’s voice on the other line, and you pull your phone away for a second to check the time before sitting up quickly.
“Shit, Hotch, I must’ve fallen asleep. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright, I can wait for you.” He’d wait as long as you need, he thinks. The thought passes through like a leaf blown in the wind, freely, randomly.
“Have you been waiting long?” You ask, fingers tugging at a loose thread in your pants.
“No, don’t worry. Barely five minutes.”
And he still wanted to check on you.
“Why don’t you come in? My couch is probably more comfortable than your car, right?”
“You sure?” He checks, like he hasn’t been to your place before, like you’d ever not want him there.
“Get in here, Hotchner.”
You hung up before he could reply, and he laughed to himself in his car before shutting it off and doing exactly what you’d told him.
So, now, you’re rushing to find an outfit while Aaron sits on your couch by himself.
Even though he’s in the next room, you can feel his presence around you, the steady security he gives you, the warmth that seeps out of him even when he tries to hide it.
You settle on a knitted sweater, a skirt, and some tights, which you realize as you tug them on aren't the speediest of options, but it’s too late to change your mind now. With your hair figured out and the mascara that had smudged during your nap fixed, you step back out into the living room.
Aaron made himself at home while you were gone (he often feels that way with you, at home), sitting on your couch with his arms spread across the back. He looks better than he should there, suit stretched across his shoulders, and you have to clear your throat to snap yourself out of it.
“Okay, sorry again for the delay. I’m ready to go.”
He looks up as soon as you walk in, eyes skimming over your legs and the tights wrapped around them, your waist, up your neck. His gaze lands on your eyes the way it often does, like magnets.
He shakes his head, “don’t be sorry. We’ll be what they call ‘fashionably late.’”
You laugh, because who would’ve thought that the words ‘fashionably late’ would ever come out of Aaron Hotchner’s mouth.
“Who taught you that one, huh?”
“I like to keep my sources anonymous.”
“Well okay, then. Let’s go be fashionably late, Hotch.”
He lets you lead the way to the car, only jogging up ahead to open your door before you can reach it yourself.
During the drive to Penelope’s, you take control of the music with little objection from Aaron, and when it gets to a song you know he likes, you sing along, encouraging him to do the same.
“Let’s hear it, Agent Hotchner.” You hold your fist out like there’s a microphone in it, looking at him with a grin on your face.
“I can't sing.” Aaron’s fighting off a smile, because you’re sitting beside him, not too shy to sing along, being all cute and, briefly, he thinks about reaching out and grabbing your hand and holding on.
“Sure you can! Everyone can sing, come on.” You unfurl your faux microphone-holding fist and tug on the knot of his tie, “loosen up a little.”
And, because you have some way of convincing him of things—first lunch, now this—he humors you by joining in for one chorus of the song. When your eyes light up a little, and your grin only widens, he can’t bring himself to be too concerned of how bad he probably sounds.
By the time you’re at Garcia’s door you’re a solid hour late, yet you and Aaron walk up to the door with matching smiles all the same.
“I’m getting you to do that every time I hear that song now, I hope you know.”
“That was a one time special,” he says. He reaches over your shoulder to knock on the door. His hand brushes against you, featherlight and quick, a crackle over your skin.
On the other side, Morgan says, “must be the lovebirds” when he hears the sound.
You and Aaron don’t hear him, only broken out of your little shared bubble when Penelope opens the door. “There you guys are! I made your drinks but the ice might be melted by now. You know, ‘cause you’re late.”
You know this is directed towards you more than it is Hotch, because Garcia’s a little intimidated by him still. You also know she’s only joking, and greet her with a hug before stepping in.
Aaron isn’t far behind you, though at these things, he never is.
You’re met with warm greetings from the team when you walk in, and you chat for a bit, but it isn’t long before things split off into smaller conversations. They all know that Aaron drives you to these things, and, as profilers, they’re also all able to see the way you look at each other, the way the knot of his tie sits lower than usual.
In the corner, Emily leans over to Derek, saying, “usually it takes at least two drinks for Hotch’s tie to look like that.”
“I told you, they’re together,” Derek shrugs.
“I don’t think they know that,” Emily replies.
This time, Aaron hears them, and he can’t help but look towards you in the room the rest of the night, thinking and thinking and thinking.
He ends up deciding that they might have a point. That maybe, that shift in his heartbeat when you’re around isn’t nothing, isn’t just friends.
-
The flight home from a case always feels the longest.
On the way there, you’re packing every hour with information about what’s going on, talking to Garcia, reading police reports. You’re all on edge, eager to get out there and help and do your jobs,
Then, on the way home, with another case solved, all you’re thinking about is going home, sleeping in your own bed, and time seems to go slower.
If your name happens to be Aaron Hotchner, you’d spend the plane ride home doing paperwork that actually can wait.
You and Aaron sit next to each other on pretty much every flight, though the seats have never been assigned. It’s an unspoken thing, like your names are written on the fabric of the same two seats on the jet and that’s just the way it is.
The first time was early on in your time on the team. It was a tough case for you, and Hotch seemed to know it without you having to say anything, so, when you got on the jet to come home, he smiled that small, twitch of his lips smile at you and nodded at the seat next to him. You’ve been sitting there ever since.
Today, your flight is on the shorter side, but feels long the way it always does. Trying to keep yourself occupied, you pull out your earbuds and shuffle your playlist, hoping that the songs will speed things up.
“Sick of me already?” Hotch speaks up when he notices your headphones.
You tilt your head to look at him. He looks tired, the way you’re sure you do, too, but never any less handsome. His eyes are soft where they meet yours, paired with a hint of a smile that you’re always able to catch.
“Sick of you, Hotch? Never.” You nod at the file he has open on the small table, “just didn’t want to distract you.”
“I thought you enjoyed distracting me. Always telling me I work too much.”
“‘Cause it’s true,” you say. “That doesn’t mean you listen.”
“I listen to you more than I listen to most people.” Aaron’s voice is gentle when he says it, the words sinking in and melting you just a little, sugary sweet. It could mean absolutely nothing, but with the way he keeps his eyes steady on yours, you don’t think it does.
“Listen to this, then,” you hand him one of your earbuds, and his fingers brush yours when he takes it from you. “But you can’t make fun of me if a musical soundtrack comes on, okay?”
“Okay,” he huffs a small laugh, and you feel a little brighter. “I promise.”
You’re aware of the team having their own conversations in the rows in front of you and Hotch, but you can’t bring yourself to join in, because you and Aaron are sharing your earbuds and his head is bent just a little closer to yours. It’s delicate, and you’ll do your best not to break it.
You talk a little longer, until it naturally fizzles out and Hotch is back to working on his files and you’re bobbing your head along to your songs. Only now, Aaron sits closer to you, his arm against yours.
He’s not sure what to do with his newfound realization that his feelings for you run far deeper than friendship. All Aaron knows is that he likes the feeling of you beside him, and that he’s planning on keeping you there as long as you’ll let him.
It’s quiet between the two of you aside from your occasional ‘this is a good one,’ and his hum of acknowledgement.
Eventually, you’re relaxed enough that your eyes grow heavy, the sleep you’ve been lacking suddenly catching up to you, and when you hit a patch of slower songs you’re fighting to stay awake.
When your head lulls onto Hotch’s shoulder, you jerk your head up, “sorry, Aaron.”
His chest does something funny. A jump. It’s not often you call him Aaron, and he’d listen to the sound of his name on your lips on a loop if he could. Because he can’t help himself, he scooches himself even closer to you.
He decides to call you something different, too, saying, “it’s alright, honey.”
You’re too sleepy to really read into that one, all you feel is the flutter in your stomach and Aaron’s hand on your head, gently guiding it to his shoulder.
When he’s sure you’re asleep, Hotch looks away from his files and over to you. Your cheek is squished against his shoulder, your lashes fanned shut. He thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.
Aaron doesn’t even feel the smile that spreads over his face as he reaches up and pushes your hair away from your face. He’s completely unaware of the eyes that catch him, far too focused on you.
Emily turned around when she realized she hadn’t heard your voice in a bit, and she did it just in time to catch Hotch’s movement. Instead of saying something, she turns back around and shakes her head to herself.
Hopeless, she thinks.
Sleep doesn’t come so easily with this job, with the things you see, so Aaron can’t help but try and stay steady for you, and if that leads to him letting his eyes close and resting his head on yours, then so be it.
It’s not until the end of the flight that the team checks on the two of you. As everyone stands and grabs their go bags, they notice the two of you, asleep next to each other, earbud wires hanging between you.
“Should we wake them up?” JJ asks.
“Hotch doesn’t get enough sleep as it is,” Spencer chimes in. “Neither does she, actually.”
Of course, Derek finishes with, “let’s leave the lovebirds to it,” before the team gets off the plane.
It’s only about twenty minutes later that Aaron does wake up, but he feels more well-rested than he has in a while, even with the kink in his neck.
Blinking his eyes open, he’s met with an empty jet and the comforting weight of your head on his shoulder. “Shit,” he sighs.
He debates waking you, ultimately deciding that you’d probably rather sleep in your bed rather than the seat of the BAU’s jet. Reaching up, he pulls your earbuds away, setting them on the table. With a brush of his fingertips to your cheek, he coaxed you awake.
“Hey, honey,” Aaron’s nearly whispering, like he’s afraid to scare you. Or, maybe, he’s convinced that if he moves too quickly, too loudly, this whole thing will fade away as if he’d been dreaming. “Wake up, we’re home.”
“Hm?” You grumble, scrunching your nose when he brushes your cheek again.
“We fell asleep, but we landed.”
“Oh, god.” You sit up properly, lifting your head. “I’m sorry, Aaron. Hotch.”
“Aaron is good,” he eases you. “Come on, I’ll drive you.”
Sleep-hazed, or maybe just happy that he can be Aaron to you, you agree easily and take his hand when he offers it, letting him lead you to his car.
-
You’ve been spending more time at Aaron’s ever since that flight. In the car, he’d convinced you to stay over at his place in the guest room, since it was closer. With your go bag already in his car and heavy, sleepy eyes, it was hard for you to do anything but agree.
It’s another slice of his life that he’s let you see, and you can’t help but feel like it means something, like you’re stepping further and further away from being coworkers who are friends and towards something different. Something more.
That flight feels like the catalyst, the thing that caused things to shift into what they are now.
Aaron’s couch is much more comfortable than yours, and though you’ve yet to spend the night again, you’re sitting there with him at almost every chance. The time off you get is rare, and Aaron wanting to spend it with you sends flutters to your stomach whenever you think about it.
You feel like you know him better, getting to see his space, how he chose to decorate, what colors he likes, which ones he doesn’t. You also know what temperature he likes to set his thermostat.
“Do you enjoy living in a refrigerator?” You ask, hands tucked into your sleeves. “Just wondering.”
Aaron laughs, a small huff, “I think you just run cold, honey.”
He’s been calling you that a lot, too. Honey.
“No way, Hotchner. Your house is what runs cold. Or maybe you’re cold-blooded.”
Not with you, he thinks. Years and years of doing what he does, Hotch might even call himself cold when he’s thinking a little too hard. But never cold with you. He thinks that might be impossible for him.
“Shhh, don’t tell anyone my secret,” he says, his arm brushing against yours from where he sits next to you on his couch. “Where are you cold?”
“Can’t feel my toes, Aaron. I might be out of commission for the next case.”
“Well we can’t lose our best girl, can we?” Best girl, he says. Like he means it, like it’s simple. “I’ve got some thick socks you can grab. Bottom drawer.”
Just like that, he’s cracked another wall of his down even further, giving you permission to go into his bedroom as if you’ve been in there a thousand times.
“Really?”
“Unless you’d rather not feel your toes-“
“Okay, okay,” you stop him, unable to fight your smile. “Thanks, Aaron.”
When you stand and head towards his room, Aaron can’t stop himself from thinking that you belong there, in his home, his room, his life. You fit in so seamlessly he wishes you’d never leave.
He stands up too, because the couch suddenly feels sort of empty without you beside him, without your warmth. He walks over to his thermostat on the wall and turns it up for you.
You’ve always thought that you can tell a lot about a person from where they live, and seeing Aaron’s bedroom now solidifies it. His place does too, but there’s something about his bedroom that feels much more personal.
Here, there’s more of him, little bits of his life scattered around. A picture of him as a kid with his parents on the dresser, the newspaper’s crossword sitting completely finished on his nightstand, his bed neatly made.
You smile at the framed photo before slipping the top drawer open and finding the pair of socks he’d been talking about. As much as you’d love to snoop, you don’t want to invade his privacy in any way. Besides, from Aaron, even a glimpse of his space feels special.
You slip on the socks before you leave his room, letting them bunch at your ankles.
As soon as you walk back into the living room, Aaron’s phone rings. Glancing at you softly, almost apologetically though he’s got nothing to be sorry about—you work with him, you know how important a call can be—he picks it up.
“Hotchner,” he says, holding it to his ear. His voice is different this way, more professional, controlled. Never any less pleasing to hear.
He’d wanted to say something about how good you look in his clothes when his phone rang, Garcia’s name flashing on the screen. Aaron wishes it was someone else, only to spend more time with you this way.
“Sorry to call late, sir,” Penelope says. “We’ve got a case. Missing kid; it’s urgent.”
“Don’t be sorry, Garcia. We’re on our way.”
“Wait, we?” She asks, curious as always.
“What’s going on?” You ask Aaron.
“Got a case. I’ll drive, honey.” He lets the pet name slip, like it’s a habit.
On the other line, Garcia’s grinning to herself in her office. She’d had a suspicion of who on the team Hotch would be with outside of work, and hearing your voice, and his use of the word ‘honey’ all sticky sweet, she knows she’s onto something.
“Oh, that’s ‘we,’” Penelope’s voice teases. “Tell her I’ll see you guys soon!”
Aaron shakes his head, fighting his smile. “Bye, Garcia.”
He hangs up and looks from his phone to you, your eyes already on him, corners of your mouth tugged up just a little like you’d heard what Garcia said, heard the lilt in her voice. Like you liked the idea of you and Aaron being a unit. We.
He likes that idea, too.
Back at the BAU, Garcia calls Derek next, who picks up with his classic, “hey, babygirl.”
First, she tells him that he needs to come into the office, that they’ve got a case, then, “you’re never going to believe this.”
Penelope loves to talk, and Derek’s happy to listen, so she tells him about how you’d been with Aaron when she called, and that you were on your way together.
“I give them another week, max, before they’re holding hands when they come in.” Derek laughs, because he can see yours and Hotch’s feelings so easily, plain as day, and he loves to be right about things.
“How mad will Hotch be when he finds out that we talk about his relationship?” Penelope’s mostly joking, only a fraction concerned.
“If the boss didn’t want us talking about it, he shouldn’t be so obvious, sweetheart.”
Once you arrive at the office, you don’t catch Penelope and Derek’s shared looks behind yours and Aaron’s—who happens to be carrying both his and your go bag—backs.
And if anyone notices the loose socks around your ankles, they don’t say anything about it.
-
You’re not supposed to go off on your own unless it’s absolutely necessary. You know that, the team knows that. Aaron, who is always trying to keep you as safe as possible, enforces it.
You guess that this time might be up for debate.
When it comes to what you do, you have to trust your instincts most of the time. And today, your gut told you to make a decision that might not have been safe, but to you, it felt like what you had to do.
Aaron had been on the phone with you, trying to figure out a way to make the car drive any faster to get to you. He’d heard it in your voice, in the tone of it, that he couldn’t convince you to wait for someone else to show up.
“I have to do this, Aaron,” you’d said. While the team would normally probably tease him about you calling him Aaron, as if it isn’t his name, they’d known not to interrupt this time. “You know I do.”
“You don’t have to.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he spoke. “We’ll be there soon, alright? Just-”
“I’m sorry.” And then, you hung up.
In the end, going in when you did had been the right move. A life had been saved, and you’d slowed the guy down enough that the police were able to arrest him when they arrived. All it cost you was a cut and a bruise on your cheek.
So, your instincts weren’t so bad.
Aaron, however, disagrees. Logically, he knows that he would’ve done the exact same thing you did, knows the rest of the team would’ve, too. But when it comes to you, he has a hard time thinking logically.
After you hung up on him, all he could do was breathe and breathe and breathe over the heavy thumping of his heartbeat and the worry spinning in his head. He drove the quickest he could manage, the car silent inside. A static.
It’s not that he doubts your abilities—he’s always thought you were incredible, even before the friendship, even before now—only that the idea of you being alone with such a bad man makes him feel sick.
He’d take your place in a heartbeat, if he could, just to make sure you’d be safe.
By the time he and the rest of the team get to the scene, you’re walking out of the building with a hand pressed to your cheek and a paramedic leading you to a nearby ambulance.
Aaron spots you right away, his eyes scanning the small crowd through red and blue lights and conversations surrounding him. When he spots you, everything goes quiet.
His first thought is, thank god she’s alive, then, it’s fuck, she’s hurt.
Without a word to anyone, he heads over in your direction right away. He meets you at the ambulance, where you sit on the small bench inside while the paramedic presses your cheek with gauze.
“Honey.” It comes out in a breath. Relief and pain all at once.
You look over to him, his hair a little messy, his eyes wide and roaming all over you like he’s checking for any other injuries. He cares about you, and it’s written all over him.
“Aaron. I’m okay.” You hold a hand out, and he grabs it, sitting beside you on the bench in the ambulance. “Promise.”
For now, he nods, letting the paramedic do their job bandaging up your cheek. When they’re finished, they hand you a spare bandage saying, “it’s gonna bruise, and it might feel sore for a bit, but you’re all patched up.”
The paramedic leaves after that, probably going to check on other people. The lights inside the ambulance seem to cocoon you, a bright difference to the darkness outside.
The first thing Aaron says is, “let me see.”
His hands reach for your face, rough fingertips gently holding your jaw, tilting you so that he can look at your cheek. It’s a little swollen, discolored where you must’ve been hit. There’s a furrow in his brow, something that looks like a pout on none other than Aaron Hotchner.
“Hey,” you grab his wrists, but his hands stay on your face. “I’m fine.”
Aaron’s always worried, he’s always cared about you and about everyone on the team, but this is different. He was usually able to hide things much better than this. Much better than with you.
Now, all he sees is the tiny bloodstain on your shirt and the bandage on your cheek. All he feels is your hands squeezing his wrists and your eyes locked on his.
“You should have waited,” he says. “I could have been there.”
“Hotchner,” your deadpan tone is intact, which he’ll take as a win, even if it’s directed towards him. “You and I both know you would have done the same. I had to.”
One of his hands shifts to cup your non-injured cheek. Normally, he’d be much more composed while working, but he can’t bring himself to care about how he must look right now.
“I know you did,” he tells you, because he does. “I just wish that you didn’t. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
Your stomach is tumbling, rolling, your heart doing silly things in your chest. You can hardly feel the pain of your cheek anymore when his hand is on the other, his palm warm against your skin, his gaze even warmer.
“I’m hardly hurt, Aaron. Just a scratch.”
“Right. One that required medical attention. That’s more than just a scratch, honey.”
“If you say so, Hotchner.”
He shifts his hands so that they fall into your lap, palms up and fingers instantly finding yours, tangling together perfectly. Like puzzle pieces.
“Good job, by the way.” Hotch rubs his thumb over your skin once, back and forth. “You did the right thing.”
“Learned from the best,” you say.
You’re both oblivious to the fact that the team is watching from a distance, and that the two of you look so lovesick it’s ridiculous that you haven’t spilled your feelings yet. You’re both absolutely fucked.
Where she stands with the team, Emily shakes her head, “I haven’t seen Hotch like this since… ever.”
Beside her, JJ merely shrugs, like it’s obvious, “yeah, they’re in love.”
Spencer looks at you and Aaron in that ambulance with a smile. “The odds of you guys being right are very, very high.”
-
+1
Aaron Hotchner was never the biggest fan of birthdays. Was never big into the cakes and making wishes, the song and the presents and the fuss of it all.
When he started at the bureau, it stayed that way. Days off were rare enough as it was, so he’d always work on his birthday. And while he kept the signed cards from the team, he treated it as any other day. Nothing special.
This year, you’re on a mission to change that.
While it isn’t the first of Aaron’s birthdays you’ve spent with him, it’s the first one since the two of you have grown as close as you have, since you’ve felt the way you do. You’re just hoping to make it a good birthday for him.
You’ve roped the whole team into it. Decorating the conference room with streamers and balloons and a sign that hangs crooked on the wall, bringing in a cake that reads ‘Happy Birthday Hotch’ in frosting, and keeping it all a secret.
Of course, you’ve all already said happy birthday to him, and you’ve got a present stashed under your desk for later, but you’ve been doing your best to act natural even when the anticipation of your surprise for him eats at your stomach a little.
Surprises are a tricky thing, and there’s no way of knowing whether he’ll like it or not. You’ll just have to wait and see.
While in his office, the team had made it seem like they’d all left for the day, saying their goodbyes to Hotch. Instead of leaving, though, they’ve been hidden in the conference room waiting for you to bring him in.
“Aaron,” you say, knocking on his office door. “I think I lost an earring. Do you think you could help me look for it?”
Because you’re the one asking, Aaron says, “‘course, honey. Where do you think it is?”
You smile, because he’s fallen into your trap easily, because you know that he probably would search for an earring with you if you’d actually lost one.
“I remember having it on in the conference room, so maybe there.”
He stands from his desk, gesturing for you to lead the way with his hand held out. You grab onto it before he can drop it, tangling your fingers and leading him behind you.
Aaron lets you guide him, and when you open the door to the conference room and flick on the lights, he’s met with the team’s grinning faces and a chorus of, “surprise!”
For a moment, he’s speechless, frozen in his spot in the doorway with your hand in his.
No, Aaron’s never been the biggest fan of birthdays, but maybe that’s because nobody’s ever done something like this for him. You came into his life all sweet smiles and now you’re throwing him a surprise party? He’s never ever liked someone the way he likes you.
So much that like is spilling into a four letter word and he’s happy to let it.
You know him well enough to know that he doesn’t like being the center of attention too much, so the only people in the room are those of the BAU. His closest friends. And you, his favorite person.
Before he can say anything he’s being spoken to by the team, getting a ‘happy birthday, boss,’ from Derek, a spill about how hard it was to keep this a secret from Penelope, a grin from Spencer, a tip about how you’d organized all of this from Emily, a squeeze to the shoulder from JJ.
When he finally gets the chance, the others split into their own conversations, Aaron tugs you aside to the corner of the room.
“You did all of this for me?” He asks, head bent to catch your eye.
Although you’d caught the signature Hotchner smile—closed-mouthed and quick—when he saw the surprise, you’re nervous about what he might say. You worry that you’ve done too much, that he’d been pretending to like it for your sake.
“I’m sorry if it’s a bit much,” you start, anxiously tugging at your sleeves. “I wasn’t sure if you liked surprises, I know not everyone does, but I wanted to do something for you because I care about you. A lot. And birthdays are meant to be celebrated, you know?”
Aaron can’t help but let a smile spread over his face as you speak; a real smile. His heart is light, his feelings for you melting through him like the soft pink of cotton candy. He doesn’t think you could ever do anything that he wouldn’t like.
“I’ll clean it all up, too, I prom-”
Your rambling is cut off with his lips on yours. He’s kissing you.
It’s soft, the press of his mouth against yours, and it takes you a second to push back. It stays delicate, a dance between the two of you like you’d practiced a million times before.
His hands skate down your arms to hold your hands, weaving his fingers with yours, squeezing like he’s making sure you know this is real.
You feel it all over, your stomach tumbling, your heart beating in a rhythm that thumps his name. Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, over and over.
It’s a kiss worth a thousand words that you haven’t said yet, a kiss full of feelings and meaning and you know it, just by the way he does it, because you know him and he knows you. It’s you and Aaron, and it feels like the beginning of something huge. Of the rest of your life, maybe.
When he pulls back, Hotch rests his forehead against yours, giving your head a gentle nudge, locking his brown eyes on yours.
“It’s perfect,” he says.
The next thing you hear is Derek Morgan cheering, “I knew it!”
Similar words come from the rest of the team.
“Finally,” from Emily.
“About time,” from JJ.
“This isn’t surprising,” from Spencer, who smiles while saying it.
A sweet, “yay,” from Penelope.
Distracted by Aaron kissing you, you’d sort of forgotten they were there. Bashful, you tuck your head beneath Aaron’s chin, forehead against his collar. He simply tightens his hands around yours.
And when it’s time for cake, this year, Aaron Hotchner makes a wish on his birthday candles. He wishes to spend every other birthday just like this. With you.
thank you so so much for reading!!! if you liked it, please please please consider reblogging/commenting and letting me know what you thought! love you <3
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cuddleprofiler · 2 months ago
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FAINTING & FEVER - When you confess your deep buried feelings to your boss in your fever.
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Summary: Hiding a fever? Check. Passing out? Check. Confessing your feelings to your boss? Wait woah?
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader, BAU x platonic!reader
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: fever, fainting, rest is good I guess.
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: This was supposed to be platonic but I didn't feel like it is romantic :) This is my first time writing any non-platonic work. All the pics I have inserted are more clear when clicked if you want to see (Tumblr did something). Positive Criticism is welcomed.
"So, what are you ladies up to tonight?" Morgan asked while driving, his focus on the road. You'd just finished a case, and as usual, Morgan was eager to make plans before another case thrust you back into the world's horrors.
"Well," JJ began with a sigh, eyebrows raised, "I'm going to spend the whole day resting with my boys." She finished with her radiant smile.
"What about you, Prentiss?" Morgan glanced at Emily in the passenger seat.
"No plans yet, but who knows? I might have something by the time we land."
"L/N?" Derek called out when he realized you hadn't answered, lost in your own world.
You sat beside Spencer, staring out the window, oblivious to your surroundings. The heat you felt was consuming every coherent thought.
"L/N?"
"Huh? What did you say?" you asked, turning your head so quickly that JJ and Spencer wondered how you didn't get whiplash. Your voice remained calm and soft.
"You okay?" Spencer asked, his hazel eyes filled with concern.
"Why wouldn't I be, Spencer?" you replied, mustering a small smile to maintain your façade.
"You just seem...down," he commented, studying you intently. You gave him another small smile, shook your head, and winced. Your head felt as if it had been struck by an invisible hammer. Spencer either didn't notice your wince or chose not to comment.
"You up for some fun tonight?" Morgan asked again, though you were barely aware.
"What fun?" you frowned. The way he said "fun" made you think it might not be the kind you'd enjoy.
"Seriously, sweet girl? You're spending way too much time with Reid. I'm talking about bars, drinks, and if you get lucky, then maybe—" Morgan started with a Cheshire grin, while your eyes widened.
"No," you said in a high-pitched tone, embarrassed at the thought of hooking up with a random guy when you already loved someone.
"What do you mean, 'no'? Come on. We don't get many days off, L/N. You should enjoy them when you can."
"Morgan, I can't," you said, shifting uncomfortably.
"And why is that, sweet girl?"
"Hey! Garcia will take offense if you call someone else 'sweet girl,'" you said with a smile, appreciating his use of a nickname for you.
"Nah. My baby girl will never be offended by this, and you're not just someone else," he replied confidently.
"But answer the question, sweet girl," he prompted, aware you were avoiding it. He assumed your hesitation was due to your reluctance to go out, knowing how you and Reid felt about drinking and socializing.
"I've got some work to do, Morgan. Also, I'm tired," you said, leaning your head back.
Morgan's expression changed instantly.
"Go straight home when we land, Y/N, not to Hotch's office. Whatever files you have to work on can wait. If I didn't know him better, I'd say he's making you do overtime."
"Exactly. Hotch will understand, and there's no need to tire yourself out," Spencer added softly.
Their concern warmed your heart. "Of course, gentlemen," you replied, amusing the others.
The conversation drifted back to their plans while you gazed out the window, watching amoeba-shaped clouds float slowly across the sky. The view was therapeutic, but you didn't tell them how awful you were feeling.
When you woke up that morning, it felt as if hell had descended upon Earth just for you. Your muscles ached, protesting and begging you to return to bed, but you couldn't. Lives were at stake, a case needed solving. Now, the muscle pain had given way to a headache and constant zoning out.
You longed to get home as soon as possible, yearning for your fluffy blankets to engulf you completely, save for your head. You hoped your phone might end up in a ditch for the day, allowing you to remain in your cozy cocoon until you felt well enough to face the world—and potential case calls—again.
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Soon, you arrived at the airstrip, where Emily and JJ surrounded you.
"So, where's your mind wandering today?" Emily asked with a mischievous grin. Before you could answer, JJ chimed in.
"In dreams of Hotch, of course. Right, Y/N?" You quickly shushed her, glancing around to ensure no one had overheard.
"JJ, Emily, we're at the airstrip," you whispered urgently. "Someone might hear you. It's supposed to be a secret. Sometimes I think you and Garcia are determined to let Hotch find out." You began trudging toward the plane, feeling drained.
They both laughed and high-fived.
"We do want you two together," Emily said.
"You should tell him yourself," JJ added. "Besides, if he overhears by accident, it'll only speed up your love life."
"By the way, Y/N, will you only go out with us if Hotch is there too?" Emily teased.
"Guys!" you groaned as they laughed.
Your crush on Hotch had started early in your tenure, initially based on his looks. But it deepened into something more profound, to the point where his well-being affected you deeply. You felt terrified when he faced dangerous situations. That's when you knew you were in trouble.
There was no way he'd fall for someone who could barely speak to him. You had your reasons for avoiding him. The days leading up to this decision were hellish. Never had you stumbled over your words as much as you did then. And what did he do?
He always gave you a patient look and nodded softly, encouraging you to speak your mind. It was manageable until you started losing yourself in his eyes or staring at his face constantly. After that, you ensured you were never alone with him except when working on case files. You began doing this so he could go home early and rest, reasoning that a few extra files wouldn't impact your time.
You were startled from your reverie by the memory of Garcia suggesting that Hotch might like you too. You still don't believe her, but a girl could hope.
"If it gets too much, I want you to pull out."
"Sir?" you asked, confused, looking up from your gun at your boss, who was surveying the team preparing to ambush the unsub's house.
"Everyone has off cases, L/N, but with time, most of us have learned to deal with it. Still, we pull ourselves out when needed. You're still new. So, pull out if necessary. Do you understand me?" he said, now looking at you, his gaze sweeping over your shorter form. You looked up at him intently, lost in his eyes until he raised an eyebrow. You could have sworn you saw his eyes soften slightly.
"Yes, sir."
"Call me Hotch, Y/N." With that, he walked towards the rest of the team as you hurried to catch up.
Back at the FBI building, you dashed to Garcia's lair. She was your first friend, and you both had a tendency to ramble about various topics. Sometimes Reid joined in. As soon as you saw her, you hugged her. Hugging Garcia was like therapy—you could feel your worries, guilt, and other negative emotions leaving your body. You felt yourself relax, your body lighter. You called it "Garcia magic”! It was an added bonus that Garcia was fond of physical affection.
When you told her about Hotch's words and your feeling that he was worried and all other incidents where he acted the same—though you thought that was impossible—she flashed her beaming smile, all her white teeth showing. Her eyes, however, held the amusement of knowing something you didn't.
"I didn't know sweet cheeks, he cares for you this much." Garcia mused, clearly pleased by what you'd shared.
This much? And what do you mean?" you asked, your curiosity evident.
"Hmm hmm. He looks at you the same way Will looks at JJ. He's so soft with you and he isn't like this with anybody. Maybe except Jack of course."
“Garcia there’s no way in hell he likes me. Maybe he was trying to be sweet.” you asked her trying not to get your hopes up.
This is a paradox. You are sure. Damn sure! Garcia began laughing while you gave her an incredulous look. She didn’t stop until you threw a teddy at her. “My sweet sweet girl, Hotch is never sweet with anyone. Ask Emily about it if you are unsure but nope nada in my so many years of being at BAU, he’s never sweet with anyone.”
"Maybe you are overthinking this Garcia. Hotch and I don't even know each other.”, you mumbled looking at your hands in your lap.
“That is an argument I will have with you on another day but what I'm saying is that Hotch likes you.", she says with a small almost sad smile.
"If you want you can observe him. You're a profiler baby. Yow will know.", she added gleefully.
Henceforth, you observed Hotch as profiling team members was off-limit. He had a tendency to smile at you softly and he didn’t offer others the same amount of options that he did to you , but you attributed this to being new. You were certain he'd show his more authoritative side once you were no longer considered the newest member. Definitely!
Lost in these thoughts, you suddenly felt your vision blur and your surroundings distort.
"Whoa! You okay?" Emily asked as she grabbed your forearm, while JJ held the other. They exchanged concerned looks when you didn't answer immediately. You shook your head slightly and replied,
"Yeah, yeah. Just slipped."
They didn't seem convinced but didn't press further.
"Be careful," JJ said, patting your shoulder.
"Yeah, of course," you mumbled, trying to regain your composure.
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Hotch and Rossi chatted as they walked, their conversation drifting from Jack's football to other topics. Before they knew it, they'd arrived at the airstrip. As Hotch boarded the plane, he froze in surprise. You were seated next to his usual spot—an unexpected sight, given your habit of avoiding him outside of group settings or work situations. Your presence there felt nothing short of miraculous.
Not wanting to give Rossi a chance to tease him, Hotch quickly sat beside you. He was certain you hadn't noticed his arrival, as you were deeply engrossed in the case report—something you rarely worked on during flights.
His attention shifted back to Rossi when the older agent began discussing plans for a pasta dinner. From the corner of his eye, Hotch caught you glancing up, offering both him and Rossi a small smile before burying yourself in the file again. It was odd, considering the report wasn't due for days.
He didn't want to finish it quickly, knowing an empty home awaited him. No one would be there to greet him—just silent walls. Jack was on vacation with Jessica's family for the next few days, leaving Hotch alone in the city. He stole another quick glance at you, resisting the urge to look more often.
Hotch was sure he would never fall in love again after Hayley. He loved her from such a young age and so much that loving someone else felt betraying the love he had bestowed upon Hayley all those years. Even after getting a divorce, he didn't stop loving her completely. Sometimes, he liked to believe they separated not because they fell out of love, but because their love was so intense that their arguments became too painful. However, he knew this wasn't the reality. He sighed and pulled out his file.
His thoughts soon drifted to you. Lately, contemplating love inevitably led him to think of you. Sometimes you don't know what hit you until it does. Falling in love with you was the same. He was falling in and never realised until the day he got a letter. From you.
Hotch had slowly fallen in love with you. That was the truth of his life, he stayed away from for a long time. How could he stay away when your every action seemed to win his heart anew? Each time he learned something new about you, he fell a little deeper.
You were a sweet addition to the team. It didn't mean you were all the time sunshine. Everyone learnt that the hard way. He mentally chuckled at the fight you and Morgan had over dark chocolate to the extent you were ready to beat him black and blue. However, your sweet gestures towards everyone on the team always warmed his heart.
He reminded himself to remain professional. After all, he was on a plane with a group of profilers who could decipher his feelings in minutes if given the chance.
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"L/N, can you tell me about the—"
"L/N?" Hotch called out again, surprised you didn't hear him the first time. Still, you didn't reply. Rossi also looked up.
"Y/N? Y/N!" He said, touching your shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah. What happened?" You looked like a deer caught in headlights, making both Hotch and Rossi confused.
"Nothing happened. I was just asking you about the case," he replied, looking at you. You were looking...different. It was as if every laugh and joy had been drained from your life.
"I'll be right back," you said, standing up and moving before Hotch had a chance to stop you.
The moment you stood up, you knew you shouldn't have done that. You were far better sitting down. Now the pounding in your head intensified, along with the feeling of being shaken up to the point where you could see everything oscillating. You tried to keep yourself still, hoping your surroundings would become normal.
The next thing you knew, everything went black.
Hotch saw you swaying and moved instinctively. He caught you, one hand on your waist, the other on your shoulder, trying to keep you up while you were dead weight. However, it wasn't as easy as it seemed in the movies.
"Y/N? Y/N. Hey, wake up!"
"Y/N!" He squeezed your body against him.
However, his yelling got him nowhere. You didn't respond, lying still in his arms as if you were taking a nap. Hotch would have believed it if he hadn't seen you go down in front of his eyes.
"Y/N," he called out again, softly this time, yet the response was the same. He swept your hair back from your face.
Unable to keep you up, he gently lowered both of you onto the aisle. He moved his hands to your shoulders, gently shaking you, but you showed no sign of waking up.
He didn't notice anyone else until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Rossi sitting beside him, looking alarmed by the happenings. Morgan was above your head. The rest of the team was also hovering.
"What happened, man?" Morgan asked while taking the sweater Reid offered and putting it under your head.
Hotch didn't answer. He himself didn't know what was wrong with you. One minute, you were standing and the next plummeting down like the apple which led to the discovery of gravity. His hand went to your cheeks, where he felt the heat radiating. His frown appeared and deepened as he touched your forehead.
"She's burning up!" Hotch said worriedly, still keeping his tone full of calmness while his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. Having a fever is one thing but passing out from it is entirely another. He couldn't help but feel the small burning sensation in his chest at the thought of being ill, even if it was a fever.
You could hear people talking, but why would there be people at your home? You scrunched your face and blinked your eyes multiple times before fully opening them. Everything was blurry at first, but soon it became clear, along with the horrible pounding in your head. You tried to sit up, but a firm pair of arms pushed you back.
"Hey Bella, don't try to get up. Stay still."
"Wha-what happened?"
"You fainted," Hotch said. The rest of them had dispersed, knowing Hotch would take great care of you and that a crowd wouldn't help much.
"I don't feel good," you groaned, your hand massaging your head.
"Yeah, I gathered that much. Tell me what's exactly wrong, L/N?" Hotch had your hand in his, rubbing it softly to ease the pain in any way he could.
"I don't feel good," you mumbled again with half-closed eyes. You were mostly disoriented from what Hotch could figure out.
"You have a fever."
"I do?"
It was taking you time to gather what was happening. He blamed the fainting and fever. It took you time, but you slowly opened your eyes fully when you noticed Hotch still sitting at the edge of the sofa. He still held your hand, and your legs were on his lap. Being in touch with him felt like second nature; you didn't even notice until you opened your eyes. You quickly tried to pull back your legs and hand, but Hotch stopped you with his hold.
"Don't move so much, Y/N. Relax," his voice soft and calming, as always.
You sat in silence for the rest of the journey, which wasn't very long. You were clutching onto his forearm as he helped you sit up to go home. When you came outside the plane,
"Hotch, I can go home by myself," you began, your voice small, hoping to regain some of the dignity you lost after fainting in front of your entire team.
"Y/N, you can't stand straight, and you want to drive home by yourself?" Hotch asked with a raised eyebrow.
"There are other ways to be suicidal than this, sweet girl," Morgan quipped, walking beside you, not that you noticed. You looked up at him and then at Hotch, concern shining in both of their eyes.
"I'm not joking," you huffed.
"Neither are we," Morgan said.
"Y/N, it's final. I'm taking you home," Hotch ordered. That's what it felt like to you.
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Hotch had an arm around your waist, supporting you as your body threatened to collapse. He hurried towards your apartment, aware of your rising fever. He couldn't give you medicine without food, but he was grateful for your unfiltered speech—it revealed the extent of your discomfort.
"You know, Hotch?" you began as he fumbled with the door. You leaned against the wall for support.
"Dahlias are my favourite flowers. They symbolize change, dignity, and elegance."
"They're native to Mexico, right?" he replied as you entered the apartment.
"Yeah! You know about them?" you asked, turning your face abruptly.
"Easy, honey. No sudden moves," he cautioned. "And yes, I've picked up a few facts over the years."
"I've always loved them. So colourful, bright, and beautiful," you laughed softly.
Hotch had never heard you speak so freely. He found himself enchanted by your voice, certain you could rival Reid in flower trivia.
After settling you on the sofa, Hotch fetched water, fruit, and medicine. You tossed your shoes aside and reluctantly took the pills, groaning as you slumped back.
"You should change into something more comfortable," Hotch suggested, removing his own shoes.
You looked at him, startled. Realizing his phrasing, he quickly clarified, "I mean, you should put on some comfy clothes."
At his insistence, you changed. When you returned, Hotch had shed his coat and tie, his shirt partially unbuttoned.
"Aren't you going home?" you asked, confused.
"I'll stay tonight, in case you need anything."
"There's no need, Hotch. You must be exhausted from the case. Go home and rest. I'll be fine."
"Y/N, it's better if someone's with you tonight. You fainted on the plane. I wouldn't be able to relax not knowing how you're doing," he admitted, his voice soft.
You smiled at his thoughtfulness and curled up on the sofa with a blanket and pillow. You both decided to watch Star Wars.
Partway through the movie, you turned to Hotch, staring intently.
"You know, Hotch?"
"Yes?"
"I love you. Like, really, really love you," you said with a lopsided smile.
Hotch froze, completely still. He hadn't been this motionless since he first held Jack, afraid of hurting his newborn son. He never imagined you reciprocated his feelings, but he knew if he didn't get the conversation going right now, he not going to know about your feelings when you are not loopy due to medicine.
“Yea?”
"Mm-hmm. You're so wonderful and adorable and just... so cute. Yeah, you're intimidating at work, but the rest of the time? Totally cute."
"Oh, am I?"
Though your tongue was loosened by the medicine, you were more lucid than you let on. Having suppressed these feelings for so long, you couldn't stop now that you'd started. You wanted to tell him everything—him about all those feelings that you shouldn't have about him but you do, how couldn't help but fall for him slowly and every day seeing him made your day.
He was so handsome! His pretty dark brown chocolate-coloured eyes are swoon-worthy. Whenever you look into them, you feel hypnotized, unable to look away from them but not being present in the time; you often find yourself lost in them, forgetting his words as you gaze at him. Right now, he was looking directly at you, and you were drowning in his gaze.
How does he not realize the effect he has when he looks at someone like this?
Hotch's smile grew with each word you spoke.
"You're so handsome, ridiculously handsome. Have you seen yourself under that table lamp? You look like some movie hero poring over case files."
He blushed and glanced away at your flood of compliments. You cupped his face, turning it back to you, your eyes wide and intent. His smile made your frown melt into the biggest grin he'd ever seen on you. You looked beautiful.
"I just really like you, but I know you don't like me," you said, your voice small.
He frowned at your words.
"I love you too, honey, but I'll give you the full answer when you're well enough to remember it. Word for word," he replied softly.
You squealed with delight.
"You aren't just saying this to spare my feelings, right?" you mumbled a few moments later.
He cradled your face in his hands. "I would never say such a thing just to spare someone's feelings, Y/N. I love you. More than you can imagine."
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Your questioning continued throughout the movie, but you refused to turn it off.
"You must have had many admirers in college. How many girlfriends did you have?" you asked, your head resting on his shoulder while his hand on your waist pulled you closer. Both of you kept your eyes on the TV.
"I only had one."
"No, you're lying. You're far too handsome to have had only one girlfriend your entire life."
'You can become the second.'
"What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything, sweetheart."
"Did you just call me sweetheart?"
"You're imagining things, L/N. It's a common symptom of high fever. Of course, I didn't call you sweetheart, honey."
"Oh, but I—you just called me—"
"What?"
"Never mind. I must be imagining it."
"Yes, you're definitely imagining things."
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2K notes · View notes
chithereader · 19 hours ago
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you and me / aaron hotchner
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word count: 1.9k
pairing: aaron hotchner x singer!reader , aaron hotchner x f!reader
genre: fluff, a little angst
cw: a lot of conversation, i went a little crazy i just love interviews like zane lowe’s!!! and soft aaron
a/n: this photo just makes me think of aaron waiting backstage for popstar!reader / singer!reader
and requests are open!! would love to know what you guys want to read ◡̈
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You requested that the set-up of the interview be comfortable. You knew you’d be talking about your albums which are notoriously packed with stories and emotions, personal and imagined. Now what is more comfortable than your own home? 
When you were designing your home, you knew from the start you wanted a conversation pit. You’ve always dreamed of a house that screamed cozy and comfortable, warm and inviting. Even if it cost millions to make, you had no regrets. 
But aside from the occasional family dinners, your sunken living room was only ever used when Aaron and Jack sleep over, and you had a movie marathon night. You'd throw in duvets and pillows on the pit and bunch together whether it was cold or not.
So you thought this interview is perfect to justify your design choice. To use the conversation pit for actual conversation. Which brings you to now, sat across your good friend and favorite interviewer Zane Lowe, your previous and latest album being the topic of conversation. 
“Your previous album was– you know, I mean, it was–” Zane appears to struggle for a word to encapsulate one of the lowest points in your life. Fractured was definitely an emotional album to make and an even sadder one to listen to.  
“Depressing?” you jokingly say. Talking has always been so easy with Zane. He just has this air to him that lets you know he truly just wants to know you. You sit on the couch sideways, facing Zane. Leaning on the back rest with your elbow, head resting on your hand while your other hand fidgets with the tassels on the pillow. 
He laughs, “Well, you were definitely at a low point in your life romantically.” fiddling with his chin, thinking of his next words, “You just– I think you perfectly captured in your songs that sort of loss and tangible grief that comes with letting go of a person- not because there weren’t any love anymore but more because love just wasn’t enough to keep it going.” 
Remembering what had happened– the air felt thinner. Like it was getting harder to breathe. You had to remember that that point of your life was over. You felt such real pain that time, so much so that you struggled to function in your daily life. That void. That ringing emptiness. 
You’re brought back to reality by Zane’s voice, “Could you touch on how that came about?” 
You breathe out a small sigh and with a gentle smile you recall, “Yeah, uhm.. I was in this relationship.. which in hindsight, I’m so lucky to have been in. It taught me so much and truly made me so much more mindful I guess. I mean like, smarter? More conscious definitely of what goes into making a relationship work, and what makes it strong.” 
“But like you said, it ended because as much as we both wanted it to work, as much as we loved each other, it just wasn’t happening. And it was a vicious cycle that was tiring us out. We just knew it wasn’t supposed to be like that.” You pause for a bit, reflecting. 
Flashes of you and Aaron driving home in silence after a dinner at Rossi’s play in your head. You didn’t talk the whole night. Not when you were dressing up. Not in the car ride on the way there. Not when you sat down together. And definitely not when each of you were across the room, busy in separate conversations ignoring the glaringly obvious. 
Looking down at the decorative pillow in your lap, you start, “And I think that in my experience, that’s a lot more painful. I think that break-ups that happen when one hurts the other is somehow better because you get to hold on to I deserve better or like– there’s just thing like anger that drives you to move on.”
You’re taken back to that night. Coming home and feeling the weight of it fall on both your shoulders. You sat for hours in silence, holding each other. Knowing that when the sun rises, he’ll go to work, you’ll go on tour, and your little world will be put to rest. 
“But having that overflowing love for a person who is just not meant for you– I mean how do you tell yourself to let go? How can you even try to convince yourself ? Because people say so often that as long as you love someone there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them and that’s true. I’ve been there, and even everything wasn’t enough. And that was something we really struggled with.” 
“Just admitting that we had to love each other from afar before we turned into strangers together.” 
It just didn’t make sense. The love you had for each other was real. It was deep and true, and neither of you had any doubt of what you meant to each other. There was no question of loyalty or trust. 
But the traveling, the conflict in schedules, the missed calls and messages left on read. You just became both so busy, you were worlds apart. It even reached the point that you haven’t talked for days and neither of you noticed. Or minded. You thought of each other, yeah. But there wasn’t that urge to reach out anymore. There was just… longing. 
“Which brings us to now. Your latest album Leftover Love– it’s a lot more hopeful isn’t it? I mean I’d even go as far as saying that it’s about falling in love all over again.” Zane sips on the tea you made him. Leaning over the makeshift coffee table to add more milk in there. 
You straighten a little. Mood instantly lifting at the mention of your favorite album to date. Images of the inspiration behind the album filling your head. 
Zane puts down his tea to gesture generously, “And hearing it live, you could just feel it in the crowd– this kind of electricity. And because there’s no other way to put it– your songs in this album feel a lot like jumping and dancing with a partner in a room full of people and everything is just in slow motion. It’s like this sort of alignment or clicking into place, finding that one person that makes those small moments feel so.. big.” 
He put it perfectly into words. You had really hoped to relay through your songs the recent turn of events in your life. People who have supported you and loved you when you were at low points in your life got you through that, and you felt so strongly that they deserved to know and feel even a fraction of the happiness that you’re feeling right now through your new songs. 
“Definitely, I mean I’m so proud to say that these songs, even if they’re a touch fictional or exaggerated or romanticized– they are based on truths, on real things that have happened or are happening in my life.” You’re getting excited. Pulling the sleeves of your sweater to cover your hands until only your fingertips are visible– you place both hands down on the pillow as if bracing yourself for the climax of a rollercoaster ride. 
“The song Blindly for example, it’s about that feeling or like moment of realization that you’re just so crazy in love you’d follow this person anywhere blindly. I love that the sound’s so grunge-y and messy– insane. Because that’s literally how it feels to be in that whirlwind.” 
Zane picks up on your excitement, nodding at your explanation. He relaxes more into his seat and gestures to you, “It’s a good thing you mentioned that because I actually wanted to ask you why that song slows down at the end. I think that was such a unique and beautiful thing to do to the song and it works so well. But I just want to know what made you do that–” You’re biting your lip smiling, so proud that it was recognized as a conscious choice as a musician and artist.
Zane continues, “It goes from crazy drums and guitar, and the bass– then slows down into this almost hypnotic music box sound that transitions by the end into just this beat like a pulse.” 
Your smile grows bigger which Zane mirrors, “I’m so happy you picked up on that. I have to say that’s actually one of the songs I’m most proud of because it’s one of the first songs that I was heavily involved in the engineering of the sound.”
“But yeah I guess ultimately I just wanted it to mimic that transition from being in crazy love, tornado-esque to it literally settling into this beautifully calm and serene kind of love.” 
Zane listens intently, nodding and humming in agreement and knowing. Finally understanding the point of view from which the sound was created. He has this gentle smile on his face, almost of encouragement knowing you had more to say, 
“Like you go from all these dates and the honeymoon phase, and your heart’s just beating crazy fast all the time and then it turns into that steady murmur of your fridge in the null of the night when you’re baking muffins together in silence.”
You take a deep breath, chewing on the inside of your lip. Hopelessly trying to minimize the smile fighting its way on your face, “It’s just that process of someone becoming your home.” 
-
You're ushering out the last of the production people. Walking alongside Zane who’s the last to step out your front door, you give him a big hug which he returns warmly. 
“I’m so happy you’re happy,” he murmurs into your ear. 
You bury your face into his shoulder and breathe out a laugh, “Thank you.. Really.” 
You separate and smile at each other. Waving goodbye as he walks backwards to his car. You stand by your front door until they pull out of your driveway.
Once you see that your driveway is empty, you turn to your door and see him leaning against the doorframe with a smug, knowing smirk. 
Rolling your eyes playfully as you pass by him into your home, he chuckles. You hear his footsteps behind you and you know he’s following you around while you tidy up the dishes you and Zane used, “Aaron, take out the trash please.” 
This man just listened to you talk about him for hours. With headphones and a monitor set up in the other room– Aaron just got his ego inflated to a size so immeasurable he can’t hide his smile from the strangers beside him controlling lights and volumes. He has got to be humbled.
“Oh so I’m back to Aaron now?” He catches up to you, halting your movements from behind as he takes hold of your arms so you can put down whatever was in them. Then he turns you around by your shoulders so you’re facing him, grinning that smile that makes you go Fuck and then blank in your head.
“And here I was thinking I was home.” Aaron pulls you close, sliding an arm around your waist only to settle on your back as the other holds your hand against his chest, in between you. He starts swaying you both slowly as he buries his nose into the side of your head, humming a familiar tune. 
Kiss me once, then kiss me twice
Then kiss me once again
It's been a long, long time
Haven't felt like this, my dear
Since I can't remember when
It's been a long, long time
You'll never know how many dreams
I've dreamed about you
While he was listening to you go on about how you loved him all throughout your rocky start and even more well into the present– he became overwhelmed with the realization that for once in his life, there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that he is loved. Truly, deeply, and steadily loved. And that filled him with something that nothing and no one could ever define or measure. 
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hoe4hotchner · 2 days ago
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Chapter 9 - Sectionals
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x figure skater (fem)!Reader
Summary: The story follows you a figure skater training for nationals and Aaron Hotchner as your lives intertwine during an investigation into the abductions of young athletic women, including the your close friend, Leah. As the BAU delves deeper into the case, you find yourself captivated by Hotch’s quiet strength and protective presence. When Leah’s body is tragically discovered at the rink, the tension escalates, surrounding you in an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty.
Word count: 12.4k
Warnings: Tense atmosphere, explosion, anxiety and uncertainty, protective behavior, law enforcement taking charge, mentions of potential danger, team coordination, emotional reassurance, crisis response.
A/N: I've been so busy lately that this chapter took way longer than expected, but here it is, and I hope you enjoy it.
Masterlist
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The drive to the arena was tense, the silence between you and the rest of the team hung heavy in the air. None of you dared to break it, knowing any conversation would inevitably turn to strategizing — and a discussion that could mean the difference between life and death for you. The silence was only broken by the steady hum of the SUV’s engine as Hotch drove closer and closer to the arena.
The city blurred past in a haze of neon signs and glowing streetlights, muted by the darkness of the tinted windows as the sun started rising out in the distance. You sat stiffly in the passenger seat, your hands clasped tightly in your lap, while Hotch remained focused on the road. His grip on the steering wheel was tight. It occasionally became tighter, you noticed his knuckles whitening, his expression was unreadable, but the faint crease in his brow betrayed the weight of his thoughts — you wondered what exactly he was thinking about, although you could probably imagine what it was.
Behind you, the team followed in two other SUVs, their presence both reassuring and unnerving. You couldn't see them, but you could almost feel their concern for you and their focus on the job at hand. Because that was what it was to them — a job. Despite how close you'd grown to the team, situations like this would always just feel like a job to them, while to you it could mean the end.
As the arena came into view, its massive structure rose against the skyline, the glowing display flashing the name of the event. You could sense the crowds of people flowing through the open entrance, their excited chatter muffled by the glass of the SUV. Competitors lugged their gear, some laughing, others stone-faced, and some with pre-competition nerves, while spectators bundled in scarves and coats hurried inside, eager to escape the cold outdoors.
Your chest tightened as your gaze lingered on the doors.
Hotch glanced over at you briefly. His steady presence had been a constant since the case began. He didn’t need to say much to steady you; his composed and authoritative demeanor spoke volumes. “We’re almost there,” he said softly, his voice cutting through the silence and the jumble of thoughts racing through your mind.
You nodded, your eyes fixed on the road as Hotch turned to enter the parking lot at the back of the arena, meant for staff only. You drew in a deep breath. The moment settled heavily on your chest, but you found enough strength to murmur, “Thank you, Hotch. For… everything. I know I haven’t made it easy at times.” The words felt awkward as they left your lips, catching slightly in your throat, but they were true.
“Don't worry about it," He put a hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze before removing it again. "You’ve been handling more than most people could,” he replied, his voice was low. His eyes flicked toward you again, and this time, a small, reassuring smile softened his features. “You’re stronger than you realize. I’ve seen it, and I know you’re going to get through this.”  
Those words lingered in your mind, they were reassuring to you as the SUVs pulled into the designated area that had been blocked off by the arena’s back entrance. Staff waved the vehicles into position, their movements efficient and practiced — they had clearly been trained to do so, you thought. The low rumble of the engines faded as Hotch shifted into park and shut the car off. You opened the door, and the moment you stepped out, a burst of crisp air greeted you — it was nice. 
You adjusted your jacket, the motion almost instinctive, and drew in a steadying breath, letting the cold air settle your nerves. Behind you, the car door shut with a solid thud as Hotch stepped out as well. Straightening your posture, you turned to face the scene ahead. 
From the corner of your eye, you caught movement as the rest of the team approached from the second SUV. They closed the distance quickly, their expressions reflecting a shared determination to do whatever it'll take to keep you — and to some extent the other skaters — safe and hopefully catch the unsub if he decides to show up.
“You ready to show everyone what you’re made of?” JJ asked, her voice was gentle. She rested a hand lightly on your shoulder. 
You met her gaze and forced a small smile, the weight of the moment pressing on your chest but not breaking you — not like it would've without them. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” you replied, your voice was steady, even though your heart raced. 
They didn’t press for more. Their quiet support spoke volumes. You felt the strength of their presence in the air.
Hotch stepped closer, placing a steady hand on your shoulder. His grip was brief but firm, and before he let go, his words followed in its wake. “We’ll be here the whole time,” he said. “If you need anything, just let us know.”
With a deep breath, you nodded, hiking your gear bag up on your shoulder to get a better grip — Morgan had offered to carry it, but you declined, wanting to feel the weight of your stuff. The moment was still heavy but it felt more manageable. Together, you walked toward the arena’s entrance, the team moving seamlessly as a shield around you. The sound of your footsteps mixed with the distant hum of voices.
The crowd inside was thick, a mix of families, coaches, and fellow skaters, each group immersed in their own world of preparation and excitement. The backstage area was alive with chatter, the buzz of anticipation rising, and you could feel the collective energy as people moved around, some barely noticing the presence of the FBI agents at your side. But others — more curious — turned their heads, whispering amongst themselves, eyes briefly falling on you and the imposing figures accompanying you.
The whispers felt distant, and detached, almost as if they were happening to someone else. You tried to focus on the competition at hand, but despite the support surrounding you, you couldn’t shake the feeling of being utterly alone in the face of it all, especially with Branson missing — he was supposed to be here.
The familiar scent of the ice and the competition hit you the moment you walked past an open door into the rink — a mix of cold air, buttery popcorn, and the faint, metallic scent of blades. It was a smell that carried memories, memories of countless hours spent on the rink at home, memories of minor competitions that held no weight now, of dreams that had once seemed without reach — but now were closer than ever before. For a brief moment, you paused, standing still trying to ground yourself. The sound of the crowd was distant, and it felt muted.
You could almost feel the echoes of your younger self, the excitement, the determination, the hope. You took one last, steadying breath, letting the familiar air settle in your lungs before turning back to the team. Their faces were set in stoned expressions waiting for you to be ready to move on.
Hotch met your gaze and gave you a nod — a small but powerful gesture. It was the kind of nod that said he trusted you completely, that he believed in you unconditionally, that he gave you the time that you needed, even in the face of the unknown where his constant command would've been safer than letting you take breaks — but your well-being was just as important as your safety. That belief, so clearly reflected in his eyes, gave you strength.
With a deep breath, you squared your shoulders. Each step forward felt like a small victory — each step you were still alive — you were reclaiming your story, the dreams you had held so tightly when entering the skating world.
As you moved down the corridor, the team led you to a locker room that had been specially reserved for you. Hotch had insisted on this extra security measure, making sure you had a private space to prepare, away from the prying eyes of the crowd and any potential threats.
The tension was thick as Hotch and Rossi stopped just outside the locker room door, their expressions unreadable. They exchanged a quick glance and a nod — moving completely in sync — before stepping inside. You stood in the corridor surrounded by the rest of the team, your hands fidgeting in front of you, the nervousness spilling over despite your best efforts to suppress it. 
Inside the locker room, Hotch moved with the precision of someone who had done this countless of times before. His eyes swept across the space, gun held ready at his hip as he methodically checked every corner, every shadow, his steps silent. Rossi, just as meticulous, crouched to inspect the lockers and checked the hidden crevices. Their movements synchronized. It was a routine they had perfected over the years, and while its necessity was unsettling, it was also a source of comfort, knowing that they did everything in their power to ensure your safety.
Outside, the seconds dragged on, stretching the silence between being reassured that you would be okay. You caught JJ’s hand briefly, grounding yourself. Even Garcia’s energy had damped for a moment as she reached over to give your arm a squeeze, her eyes brimming with her usual unshakable belief in you. 
Finally, the door opened, Hotch and Rossi stepped back into the hallway. Hotch's gaze met yours immediately, the edges of his expression softening just slightly. “All clear,” he said simply, moving away from the entrance to give you the clearance to enter.
As his eyes lingered on yours, he gave you a brief nod, and in that moment, it felt like more than reassurance — it felt like a promise.
With a grateful smile, you stepped into the locker room, the door closing softly behind you. The space was quiet, the kind of stillness that magnified every sound — the faint flicker of the overhead lights as the fluorescent tube lights popped a little, the rustle of your bag as you set it on the bench. Normally, this room would be alive with chatter, nervous laughter, and the hurried sounds of skaters making last-minute adjustments to their costumes. But today — today, it was just you. The solitude felt daunting, you'd much rather have peers to hang around. Despite the competitions between you, you knew that being around the other skaters would've helped you calm your nerves. 
You unzipped your bag, pulling out the elegant black costume you’d packed. The fabric shimmered as it caught the light, the rhinestones adorning the bodice and forearms glinting like stars. It was stunning, a dress meant to command attention on the ice, and as you slipped out of your warm clothes and into the costume, it felt like an armor. The fabric against your skin was grounding, the tulle part of the skirt barely covering your upper thighs. The costume was a reminder of the hours you’d poured into perfecting every move and every detail of your performance. 
Adjusting the dress in the mirror, you smoothed it over your shoulders. You paused, your hand brushing against the rhinestones as you took a steadying breath, letting the reality sink in — you had made it this far, surely you could make it a couple of hours more. 
Sitting down on the bench, you pulled your skates on and laced them tight. You snapped the blade guards into place, the sound of each click echoing in the room. When you stood, the tiles beneath your blades felt foreign for a second, but you balanced yourself easily, the muscle memory of years of practice kicking in. 
Your eyes flicked to the mirror again, and for a moment, you simply stared at the reflection. The girl looking back wasn’t just a skater. She was strong and resilient, someone who had weathered unimaginable storms and emerged on the other side stronger than before. You took a moment to meet her gaze, finding strength in her determination. 
This was it. The culmination of everything you’d fought for. Straightening your shoulders, you gave yourself a small, confident nod. You weren’t just walking out there to compete — you were reclaiming a piece of yourself, reclaiming your own narrative.
With a last anxious sigh, you walked to the door and cracked it open, your heart pounding as you signaled to the team. The moment they saw you, their expressions shifted, their faces lighting up as they took you in.
Emily reacted first, her eyes widening as they swept over your costume. “You look incredible,” she said, her voice carrying a mixture of awe and pride as she grabbed both your shoulders and leaned back to take your beauty in. Her smile was infectious, and you quickly found yourself smiling back at her as a little of the tension in your chest started melting away. 
Garcia was the next, she let out a soft gasp, clasping her hands dramatically over her mouth for a moment to prevent herself from screaming. “Oh, honey,” she squealed. “You’re a vision! They’re not going to know what hit them!”
Hotch lingered at the back for a moment before stepping forward. He didn’t say anything right away, but his gaze spoke volumes. His eyes softened as they met yours, his expression filled with belief and encouragement, knowing that you were strong enough to do this. When he finally did speak, his voice was more monotone than you had hoped. “You’re going to do great,” he said, a simple statement. The way he looked at you — it felt like a mix of pride and trust — but it was words you knew he'd never speak out loud, although no matter what you wanted to hear or feel, you knew he was in your corner. 
You straightened your shoulders — your back cracking a little as you did — and managed a small, grateful smile. “Thank you,” you said, your voice was quiet. “It means a lot to have you all here.” 
Emily grinned and nudged you playfully. “We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Now go out there and show them how to win.”
Standing in the doorway to the locker room, you stared at the team, gathered together in a circle around. Months of preparation, countless grueling hours of training, and the ever-present threat that had loomed over you leading up to sectionals were settling in your stomach. It all felt like it was catching up with you now, making each breath harder to take.
You’d faced competitions before, even high-stakes ones early on in your journey where the pressure had been almost unbearable, but this was different. This time, it wasn’t just about winning. It wasn’t just another event to check off a list — it was everything. The culmination of every sacrifice, every setback, every late-night practice, and every moment you’d fought to get to this place. And with it, a vulnerability you couldn’t shake, a sense that so much more was riding on this than you’d ever allowed yourself to acknowledge before.
Can I do this? The question echoed in your mind loud enough to make your body tense up. The nerves were so overwhelming that you had to fist your hands so you wouldn't shake. The anticipation was almost suffocating, and it felt like there was no room for doubt, no time for hesitation.
As if sensing your internal turmoil, Hotch stepped in. There was no hesitation in his movements, no uncertainty in him. His authority radiated, drawing the team’s focus back to the mission as he began to address the group.
“Alright, everyone, listen up,” Hotch began, his tone was sharp. “While she’s on the ice, we’ll be operating in two key positions: interior and exterior monitoring. Emily and JJ, you’ll be stationed at the arena entrance and rinkside doors. I want both of you on high alert for any unusual movement or non-ticketed entries. We’re not taking any chances. If anyone looks out of place or tries to slip by, I want eyes on them immediately. You’ll have comms linked directly to the rest of us on the interior.”
His eyes scanned the room, ensuring everyone was absorbing the information. “Maintain clear visual contact at all times — especially if large crowds are entering or exiting. Don’t let anything slip under the radar.”
Emily nodded quickly, her hand already reaching for the comm device on her belt to place it in her ear. “Got it, Hotch.” Her voice was confident.
Hotch’s gaze briefly shifted between the two of them, a subtle nod of approval in response to their readiness. But he didn’t linger; there was no time for that. His focus sharpened again as he continued to lay out the plan. You could feel the shift in the room.
Hotch turned to Garcia next. “Penelope, you’ll be monitoring security feeds in the surveillance room with stadium security. I need real-time video feeds on all arena exits, the main rink, and the locker room corridor. Any gaps in the footage — no matter how small — need to be flagged and investigated immediately. If anything, even remotely suspicious comes up, I want to know about it. We’ll have a secondary comm channel open for you, in case you need to escalate something right away.”
Garcia’s eyes lit up with her usual enthusiasm as she slipped her earpiece in. “Consider it done, boss-man. I’ll keep my eyes peeled. If anyone so much as sneezes suspiciously, I’ll catch it.” Her voice was light-hearted and confident with the sharp focus that always defined her when it counted.
Hotch gave her a quick, appreciative nod before his gaze shifted to Morgan and Reid. His posture remained alert. “Morgan, Reid — I want you both covering the back entrance. Ensure no one slips in unauthorized. You’re on backup detail in case there’s any movement that needs immediate attention.”
Morgan nodded firmly. “We’ll keep a close watch, Hotch. Nothing’s getting past us.”
Reid, who had already started analyzing the arena layout in his mind, added with his usual systematic accuracy, “We’ll also do a sweep of the corridor near the locker rooms.”
Hotch’s eyes flicked to both of them, he had trust in their abilities. “Good. Make sure you’re ready for anything. The moment something’s off, I want to know about it.”
Finally, Hotch turned to Rossi. “Dave, you and I will stay rinkside. We’ll be the first point of contact if anything happens, and we can coordinate directly with the rest of the team from there. We’ll be covering her from every angle.”
Rossi met his gaze with a nod. “You got it, Aaron.” There was no hesitation in his voice, just the confidence of someone who had been in countless high-pressure situations before — and had made it out alive every single one of them.
Lastly, Hotch turned to you, his gaze softening slightly, though his tone stayed constant. “You’re going to be in our constant sightline while you’re on the ice,” he said. “If anything feels wrong, don’t push through it. You signal to us, and we’ll handle the rest.”
You nodded, comforted by the structure and clear plan Hotch had concocted. He’d thought of everything, and accounted for every possible risk, ensuring that you wouldn’t have to shoulder anything if it was up to him. It eased a fraction of the tension that had coiled in your chest. They weren’t just here to watch; they were here to protect, each one stationed like a wall around you. That clarity, that assurance — it was your lifeline.
Around you, the team moved into their positions. Emily’s quick nod, JJ’s reassuring glance, Morgan’s confident stance, Garcia’s friendly smile — all of it steadied the nervous energy threatening to overwhelm you.
As you stood there, letting their presence anchor you, you took a deep breath — a very deep breath.
As everyone began filing out to their positions, Hotch’s hand came up, a subtle but unmistakable signal for you to stay back for a moment. You froze mid-step, glancing up at him in surprise. He motioned toward the locker room, away from the door and prying eyes. It was just the two of you now, the buzz of the arena and the team’s footsteps fading into the background.
He’d noticed the telltale signs — the way your fingers fidgeted with the rhinestone-laden sleeves of your costume, how your teeth pressed into your bottom lip during his briefing, the way your shoulders seemed to sag under invisible doubts. His instincts were always attuned to the smallest details.
“Hey,” he began, his voice was low like he was carefully choosing every word. “Before you go out there, I want you to know something. You’ve got this. You’ve put in the work, and we’re right here with you. Nothing’s going to happen that we aren’t prepared for.”
The warmth in his words was unexpected. But even as his reassurances settled over you, the lingering weight of your fears refused to be fully silenced. Swallowing hard, you found yourself speaking before you could second-guess yourself. “Hotch, I know it’s irrational, but I feel… I don’t know, like I’m not ready, or maybe just not strong enough to do this without him.” The words tumbled out faster than you’d planned, more vulnerable than you'd expected and that surprised even you.
Your eyes dropped to the floor, unable to meet the intensity of his gaze. Instead, you focused on the intricate pattern of the tiles, moving them to your skates, tracing the laces with your eyes as if they held the answers. “Every time I’m about to step on the ice, there’s this voice in my head,” you admitted, your fingers gripping the edge of your sleeves a little tighter. “It keeps telling me I’m not ready… that I don’t have it in me.”
Hotch’s hand reached out, resting firmly yet gently on your shoulder. His touch wasn’t just grounding; it kept you from drifting too far into your spiraling thoughts.
“Listen to me,” he said. “You’ve already proven your strength by coming this far. I know losing Branson has made this feel impossible, and I understand that. But what you’re doing — going out there, honoring all of the victims by competing despite everything — takes more courage than most people will ever know.”
His words hit you like a wave. He spoke with such conviction, as though he could see something in you that you couldn’t.
“But what if — what if I mess up?” you whispered, your voice trembling. The words slipped out before you could stop them. “What if all of this training and everything I’ve done just… falls apart?” 
The fear had been gnawing at you for weeks, a persistent whisper in the back of your mind that no amount of practice or preparation had been able to silence. Saying it out loud as if naming it might make it real.
Hotch’s grip on your shoulder tightened. “Then you’ll keep going,” he said, his voice was layered with emotion, but he quickly snapped out of it, “just like you’ve done every time before. Messing up doesn’t change what you’ve accomplished or who you are. And it certainly won’t change how proud everyone is of you. Mistakes don’t define you; what you do next does. And right now, I see someone strong enough to face this, no matter what happens.”
His words cut through the doubt. It wasn’t just what he said — it was the absolute certainty in his tone, the way he delivered like it was fact. You could feel his belief in you.
“Thanks, Hotch,” you murmured, your voice was soft as you looked up at him. Your lips curved into a smile — a genuine smile.
He held your gaze for a moment longer, his own expression softening slightly too. With a firm nod, he released your shoulder, his hand lingering just a second longer than necessary. “Now go out there and show them.”
The corner of his mouth quirked upward ever so slightly and it felt like a spark igniting in your chest. You were ready.
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The energy in the arena buzzed, and the hum of the audience seemed to seep into your skin as you stood in the narrow waiting area just off the rink. Your fingers twisted the fabric of your costume, an unconscious attempt to tether your thoughts as your eyes locked on the skater gliding effortlessly across the ice.
Natalia Ivanova.
Even the name carried weight — she was a rising star whose performances had already sparked whispers of greatness within the skating world. She wasn’t just good; she was extraordinary. You’d known that before today, had watched grainy footage of her routines — that Branson somehow had gotten his hands on through some dodgy Russian website — during late-night study sessions, dissecting her artistry and precision. But seeing her in person was an entirely different experience.
Natalia’s presence on the ice was magnetic and held a refined grace. Every movement she made was deliberate, every step part of a larger, perfectly choreographed narrative. Her coach’s reputation preceded her — a great figure in Russian skating known for a ruthless dedication to perfection. The rumors of severe training schedules and discipline seemed to manifest in every controlled motion Natalia delivered. She wasn’t just skating; she owned the ice, bending it to her will.
As she launched into a series of jumps, each one higher and more precise than the last, your breath hitched. Natalia’s triple Lutz was perfection, her spins faster than you'd ever managed, and it blurred into a vortex. Her footwork was sharp and fluid all at once as if the ice itself answered only to her. Watching her was both inspiring and daunting, and it was a reminder of the sheer level of competition you were up against.
The crowd erupted as Natalia neared the end of her routine, their cheers swelling into a roar of approval as she struck her final pose. Arms extended, chin lifted, she held her position for a fraction longer than necessary, commanding the spotlight on her even as the music faded. The applause was deafening.
You exhaled slowly, willing the tightness in your chest to ease. The reality of Natalia’s skill loomed over you. She’d set the bar impossibly high, and now it soon was your turn to step onto the ice, you were scared that competing after such a talented skater would be your certain doom.
The announcer’s voice echoed through the arena, delivering Natalia’s score, it made the crowd erupt once again. It was an impressive number. She was undeniably talented, her performance near-flawless, and now she stood at the top of the leaderboard as the skater to beat. The thought gnawed at you. Could your routine, no matter how tirelessly you had trained, truly stand up to hers? The crowd’s energy seemed to affirm Natalia’s dominance.
Your mind wandered, replaying every hour of practice, every late night spent refining your choreography until the music and movements felt like second nature. You knew you’d worked hard — relentlessly hard — but the small, insidious voice of doubt whispered that maybe it wasn’t enough. That no matter how prepared you thought you were, someone like Natalia was more talented.
Your gaze dropped to the ice, searching for something — focus, courage, clarity? The polished surface reflected the arena lights in fractured glints, as the Zamboni made its way across, preparing the ice for you. You felt the storm of "what ifs" building in your chest until you sensed him behind you. His presence wasn’t loud or invasive, but it was a constant amidst the chaos. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was Hotch. His aura was unmistakable.
You could almost sense the picture of him, towering a little over you. The mental picture of a Doberman popped into your head — alert, loyal, fierce — and the image almost made you smile despite the tension coiling in your chest. If Hotch was the guard dog, you were the kitten, small and vulnerable but you were protected. Somehow, that strange picture settled your nerves just enough to let you breathe a little deeper. Hotch had been that way since the night you first met him: a silent guardian who didn’t have to do much to remind you that you were never truly alone in anything you faced.
Natalia glided off the ice with a satisfied attitude as she passed by. Her presence lingered maybe even taunting you, to match what she had just delivered. The weight of it threatened to send you spiraling again, but before it could, Hotch’s voice cut through the noise.
“You’re going to be incredible,” Hotch said, stepping a little closer until his chest was nearly brushing against your back. His voice was calm — maybe a little too calm given the situation. “You’ve got this, no matter what anyone else scores. Remember, this isn’t about them. It’s about you and what you’re here to do.”
You nodded, drawing in a deep breath. There wasn’t an ounce of doubt in his tone, and somehow that steadiness seeped into you, pushing back against the nervous energy buzzing in your chest. Hotch didn’t offer more words, but he didn’t need to. His presence was enough.
The announcer’s voice boomed through the arena, calling your name, and the atmosphere shifted as the crowd’s attention swung toward you. A murmur rippled through the stands, accompanied by polite applause, but it all blurred into background noise as you took a step forward. The bright lights bore down on you, and the cold, crisp air prickled against your skin, heightening your senses. For a moment it all swelled, threatening to overwhelm you — but then you glanced back.
Hotch was still there, rooted in place, his eyes meeting yours and with a firm and steady gaze, he gave you a small nod. It wasn’t overbearing; it was just enough to remind you of everything, of the people who believed in you and the work that had brought you here.
That nod was all you needed.
You turned toward the ice, exhaling. This was your moment, and you were ready to claim it. As your skates touched the ice you glided to your starting position, the arena’s energy wrapping around you.
The announcer’s voice carried on, introducing you, but just as you reached the center of the rink, his tone shifted. It grew softer, more solemn as if hinting at something — you weren't sure if he would announce it, but you sure hoped he didn't. The slight change sent a surge through the crowd, quieting the murmurs as anticipation settled over the audience.
"And now, representing Quantico, Virginia," the announcer's voice carried through the arena, "a brave young woman who, not long ago, suffered the tragic loss of her longtime coach in a heartbreaking incident that has no doubt deeply affected her journey here today."
The words struck, rumbling through the arena. You froze, the announcement cutting through the confidence you’d just pieced together. It wasn’t just the mention of your coach’s death — it was the way it was framed, so public, so intrusive, as if your grief were a narrative for the world to consume. You hadn’t prepared for this, for the raw wound to be laid bare before thousands of spectators.
From the corner of your eye, you caught the team’s reactions. Morgan’s jaw clenched, JJ's mouth parted in shock, her eyes narrowing in disbelief as she turned sharply toward Hotch from the door. Reid stood just behind Morgan, his brows furrowed, his face carrying a sense of sorrow that spoke to his own experiences with loss. He looked like he wanted to say something, to object, but the words seemed to stick in his throat.
Hotch, however, was unreadable. His body was taut with control, his expression carved from stone as his eyes stayed locked on you. There was no visible anger, no outward sign of the frustration he undoubtedly felt, but the tension radiating from him was unmistakable. His jaw tightened ever so slightly and his hands locked on his hips were the only signs of his frustration with the announcement.
Instinctively, your gaze sought his. Your eyes, wide with disbelief as you silently pleaded with him to do something. Why did they say that? What does this mean? The once-excited hum of the arena was replaced by a heavy and stiff silence. Everything felt too loud and too quiet all at once, your thoughts colliding as you tried to process what had just been said.
When Hotch met your gaze, his response was immediate. He didn’t break eye contact, slowly, he gave you a single, deliberate nod. It wasn’t dismissive, nor was it overly reassuring. Instead, it was an unspoken promise. I’ll handle this, his eyes seemed to convey. But right now, I need you to focus. I’m here.
The crowd’s murmur began to rise again, unsure, but you held onto that connection, that lifeline Hotch had silently extended.
You took a deep breath, reminding yourself of your routine, your hard work — nothing, and no one could take that away.
The arena settled into silence as the lights dimmed, and a single, piercing spotlight illuminated you. For a fleeting moment, the world outside the ice disappeared. The crowd, the noise, even the ache of loss — it all fell away.
You pushed all doubt aside. This was your moment, your chance to honor everything you’d worked. The cold of the ice seeped through the delicate fabric of your costume. It wasn’t uncomfortable — it was nice.
Another breath. Deep, steady, intentional. And then you moved into your starting pose. As the first haunting notes of your music filled the air, the stillness gave way to motion. You stepped forward with the confidence of someone who had done this a thousand times before. The sharp sound of your blades cutting into the ice echoed softly.
The spotlight followed you as the rest of the rink faded into shadow, casting the rhinestones on your costumes into sparks of light. They glittered like fragments of a starry sky, transforming you into something otherworldly under the glow. The shimmering stones caught the light with every subtle movement.
The music flowed soft and melodic, carrying you forward. Each turn, each spin, flowed effortlessly from the next, the choreography imprinted in your muscles from endless repetition.
You leaned into the music, letting it guide you. Your arms arced gracefully through the air as you performed a series of elegant steps, each more intricate than the last. The swish of your blades cutting across the ice was almost hypnotic.
The crowd’s reaction was lost to you — at least, for now. You were no longer aware of anything beyond the ice and your own movements. There was only the rhythm of the music, the glide of your skates, and the rush of adrenaline that propelled you forward.
You felt the audience’s eyes on you, but it didn’t matter. The whispers of the crowd faded away. This was your stage, your moment. You were more than the grief. You were strength, determination, and resilience personified. As you launched into your first jump, the air seemed to hold its breath.
Your legs extended gracefully, kicking high as your body twisted through the air, weightless for that perfect second. Then, you landed, cleanly, your blades biting into the ice with a satisfying sharp The crowd’s gasp of awe rippled through the arena, but you barely registered it. Your focus was unshakable, channeled entirely into your routine.
From that first jump, you flowed seamlessly into the next sequence. The choreography demanded a balance of strength and elegance, a challenge you had spent years perfecting. Each turn, each spin, held power, telling a story that words and pictures never could.
Yet even as you lost yourself in the rhythm of the music and the beauty of your performance, one constant remained. Hotch.
He stood at the far end of the rink, a dark figure blending into the shadows. His eyes were locked on you. But his focus wasn’t just on the grace of your movements or the artistry of your routine — it was on everything. The arena, the audience, the exits, the subtle shifts in energy around the room. He didn’t stop calculating, didn’t stop scanning, his mind constantly processing potential threats and outcomes.
Even in stillness, his posture radiated control. He didn’t draw attention to himself, but there was no mistaking the command he held over the space around him. To the audience, he might have been just another spectator. To you, he was so much more.
As he watched you glide across the ice, his expression softened in a way that most people would never notice. But you would. He saw the fire behind your performance, the resilience you poured into every spin, every leap, every graceful line you created on the ice. He knew the depth of your struggle.
And still, he couldn’t let his guard down. As you moved, so did he, his tall form cutting a purposeful path around the rink’s perimeter. His sharp eyes swept the crowd, assessing every face, every possibility. He wasn’t here to enjoy the show. He was here to protect you.
But even in his attentiveness, his heart wasn’t untouched. With every flawless element of your routine, something entirely different swelled in his chest. He wasn’t one to dwell on sentiment, but watching you out there, defying the odds, he couldn’t help it. You were doing it. You were proving to everyone — and, most importantly, to yourself — that you were unbreakable.
And as you skated through the crescendo of your routine, the crowd held its collective breath, captivated by your story and your skill. Hotch remained on edge. You might have been performing under the bright spotlight, but in his eyes, you were the brightest light of all.
The end of your routine drew near. You could feel the intensity mounting in the air, every note of the melody urging you onward. This was the final stretch, the moment you’d trained for, the pinnacle of everything you’d worked so hard to achieve. Your heart raced, adrenaline flooding your veins as you propelled yourself into the final series of moves.
You spun with unrelenting grace, the rhinestones of your costume catching the spotlight in dazzling bursts. The rink was your stage, and you commanded it with every turn of your body, every subtle shift of your weight.
And then came the moment you had been building toward — the most difficult element of your routine, the leap that required every ounce of your strength, focus, and courage. With a deep inhale, you pushed off, your legs kicking powerfully as you launched yourself into the air. The arena seemed to hold its breath as you soared — knowing fully well the danger of your element — your body twisting in a perfect arc.
When you landed, the ice met your blades with a satisfying slice. The momentum carried you smoothly through the final steps, your movements slowing as the music swelled to its last note. With a fluid motion, you struck your final pose at the center of the rink, poised and frozen in a picture of perfection. The arena was silent.
And then, like the shattering of a dam, the applause erupted. It started as a ripple before surging into a roaring wave, filling the arena with deafening sound. The cheers, whistles, and stomping feet seemed to shake the very ground beneath you. You stood there for a moment, chest heaving with the exhilaration of your performance, your mind struggling to grasp what you had just accomplished.
From the shadows, Hotch’s gaze remained fixed on you. To the untrained eye, he appeared calm, but inside, pride swelled in his chest. He had seen every step of your journey the past few weeks, every struggle and triumph, and now, he watched as you stood victorious.
The applause still echoed around you as the announcer’s voice cut through the air. The crowd hushed slightly, their attention shifting toward the scoreboard. You remained at center ice, your body still, though your fingers twitched at your sides. The adrenaline still coursed through you, making the moment feel both impossibly long and achingly brief.
Your eyes locked onto the scoreboard, the only thing in your line of sight now. Time seemed to slow as the numbers flickered, the world holding its breath alongside you. Your chest rose and fell steadily, but inside, your heart pounded. Waiting, hoping, believing.
Then, the numbers appeared.
"Total Score: 147.56," the board lit up, and the individual breakdown of your program components appeared underneath it:
- Technical Elements: 72.34
- Program Components: 75.22
It was a great score — a strong one, especially when measured against the competition in the competition. The crowd reacted with scattered applause and murmurs of approval, but your gaze instinctively flickered toward the scoreboard again, scanning for context. Just moments before, the Russian skater's score had flashed onto the board. She had also received a 147.56, but with a slightly higher technical mark and a lower program component score.
Your heart leaped in your chest as the realization sank in. The tie, the near mirror image of your scores, seemed almost impossible given how flawless her performance had been. The breath you had been holding came out in a shaky exhale. This was more than good; it was remarkable. You had stood your ground against one of the most highly praised skaters of the season — the one glorified as the "rising star" and "unbeatable." And here you were, matching her score.
But a flicker of doubt pushed its way into your mind. Your eyes darted back to her, standing by the sidelines, her posture rigid as her score glowed next to yours. Her expression was unreadable, but her body language betrayed a hint of frustration.
It wasn’t a perfect victory — there was no gold medal being handed to you just yet. But this wasn’t about medals or rankings anymore. This was your moment, your proof that you could rise to the occasion, even without your coach.
The numbers on the board seemed to glow brighter. A faint smile crossed your lips, hesitant at first, before blooming. You had done it. You hadn’t stuttered, you hadn’t stumbled. You had poured every ounce of your heart and soul onto that ice, and it had paid off.
The applause began to swell again as your name was announced, pulling you from your thoughts. You glanced up at the crowd, your chest rising and falling as you took in the moment. For all the loss and grief that had brought you here, for all the challenges you’d faced in your training, this was your triumph. Not just because of the score, but because you had proven something to yourself.
You stepped off the ice, your skates leaving faint, sharp lines in their wake, and allowed yourself to feel the mix of emotions swirling inside you — relief, pride, and a lingering ache for the absence of your coach. But even that ache was quieter now, overshadowed by the sense of accomplishment. You had competed, and you had competed well. That was what mattered.
But before you could fully bask in the moment, a loud bang shattered the atmosphere of the arena. It wasn’t a celebratory sound, nor the kind of noise you might expect in a place like this. It was sharp and deep, thundering through the air like an explosion. The echoes seemed to cling to the walls, leaving behind a strange silence that pressed down on everyone present.
It didn’t belong here, not in this arena meant for elegance and artistry. It was utterly wrong.
Your heart skipped a beat, the sound sending a jolt through your body. Instinctively, your head snapped toward the direction of the noise. Your muscles tensed, and a cold wave of unease rushed through you. Around you, the crowd, which had moments ago been alive with applause and cheers, seemed to freeze. Confused murmurs began to rise, growing louder and more urgent as the initial shock faded.
Your eyes darted to Hotch. He was already moving, his entire demeanor changing in an instant. His piercing gaze swept across the arena, narrowing on the source of the disturbance. His jaw clenched, a muscle twitching as his mind worked quickly to assess the situation. He stood rigid yet poised, every part of him ready to act.
Even in his intense focus, he glanced toward you. It was just for a moment. But the moment didn’t linger. His expression hardened again, his attention snapping back to the task. Whatever this was, he was already working through it, calculating every possibility.
Without hesitation, Hotch moved toward you, his steps deliberate and controlled. He reached out, his hand clasping your arm firmly but gently. It wasn’t just a touch — it was a message. His grip communicated a silent directive to stay close and follow his lead.
You didn’t need him to speak. You trusted him, knowing that in situations like this, he was the one person who could bring order and keep you safe.
Around you, the murmurs in the crowd grew louder, some voices rising in alarm. Hotch’s sharp gaze flicked back to the arena’s perimeter, his body tense as he scanned for any signs of further danger. His hand remained on your arm, anchoring you to him, his protective instincts driving every movement.
The silence of the arena was breaking, but your focus stayed on him. Whatever was about to unfold, you knew he would take care of it.
Parents clutching their children, coaches exchanging uneasy glances, spectators craning their necks to catch a glimpse of what was happening. Yet, amid the chaos, one thing was abundantly clear: something was wrong. The rest of the BAU team was already moving, their training kicking in. Eyes scanned exits and entry points, steps purposeful, bodies coiled and ready for action.
Hotch’s voice sliced through the tension like a blade, drawing your attention back to him.
“Stay close. We’ll get you to safety,” he said, his tone firm and edged with an urgency that matched the adrenaline pulsing through your veins. Around you, his team moved into position. JJ was speaking quickly to a nearby event organizer, while Morgan and Rossi spread out to survey the crowd. Emily and Reid were already coordinating with security and checking sightlines. No one was leaving anything to chance.
The atmosphere in the arena shifted further, tension thickening like a storm cloud about to break. Your stomach twisted as you watched the judges exchanging concerned looks, the skaters huddled near the edge of the rink, and the crowd fidgeting in their seats. Whatever had caused the explosion remained a mystery, and the not-knowing only made it worse.
You felt your thoughts scatter, your pulse pounding in your ears.
People remained seated but shifted nervously as if preparing to flee once getting the go-ahead.
“Everyone stay where you are,” Hotch barked, his voice roaring over the noise. The authority in his tone was enough to quiet the murmurs in his immediate vicinity, though the tension in the room didn’t reduce. His gaze flickered back to you as if ensuring you were still steady under his protection. Even as his body remained composed, you caught the tightness in his jaw and the subtle way his shoulders squared — he was ready for anything.
In one fluid motion, Hotch pulled his phone from his jacket and dialed. His voice turned cold and precise, each word clipped and efficient as he relayed the situation to the local police.
“This is Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner with the FBI. We have a potential security threat at the Sectional Skating Championship. Requesting immediate assistance. Unknown cause of disturbance — a loud explosion-like sound—followed by unusual crowd behavior. My team is securing the area. Lock the building down — no one in or out until further notice. I’m on the ground. We need a full investigation.”
He paused, his eyes scanning the crowd once more as he listened to the dispatcher’s response. When he spoke again, his voice was even sharper, cutting through the noise around you.
“Yes. Multiple agents on-site. We’ll hold until local law enforcement arrives.” There was a brief pause as he listened to the other end, and then he added, “Send an officer to every exit and have them check for anything suspicious. I want the building swept. No exceptions.”
The brief crackle of static from Hotch’s phone was drowned out by the rising noise of the crowd, but you could still catch the exchange between him and the dispatcher. Even after the call ended, the residual weight of his authority lingered. Hotch wasn’t just standing beside you as your protector — he was assuming command, his focus split between ensuring your safety and piecing together the origin of the threat.
As he slipped the phone back into his pocket, Hotch turned toward you. Though his posture remained stiff, his expression softened for just a moment.
“Stay close,” he instructed, his tone low but firm, just audible over the murmur of the crowd. His eyes didn’t leave yours, even as he began issuing orders to the team.
“Morgan, Prentiss,” he called, his voice sharp as a commander's. “Check the perimeter. Sweep the hallways and backstage areas. We don’t know if this was an isolated incident or the beginning of something larger. Make sure everyone’s accounted for.”
Morgan’s response was immediate, his posture tense with readiness. “On it,” he said, already scanning for exits as Emily moved in tandem.
Hotch’s gaze flicked toward one of the arena officers, who was fumbling to coordinate with staff. With his usual efficiency, Hotch strode over and handed off a series of rapid instructions, his tone leaving no room for question. It was clear to everyone that he was taking control.
Then, his attention was back on you. He closed the space between you, stopping just short of crowding your personal space. Even now, as chaos brewed around you, Hotch was attuned to your needs, knowing exactly how to make you feel secure without overwhelming you.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” he said softly. This was Hotch at his core — methodical, persistent, and entirely focused on the task while ensuring you remained his top priority.
Strategically, he moved to position himself near the entrance to the locker rooms, creating a barrier that no one could pass without confronting him first. His protective stance made it clear: you were his responsibility, and nothing was going to slip past him.
“JJ, stay with her,” Hotch directed, nodding toward the blonde agent, who was already on her way to your side. Her movements were brisk but deliberate, and her warm smile was meant to comfort, even though the tension in her eyes mirrored the unease in the room.
“Got it,” JJ replied, standing close enough to reassure you without adding to the weight of the moment.
Meanwhile, Hotch’s focus returned to the broader scene. He continued issuing orders. “Dave, you and I will manage the investigation at the main entrance. Coordinate with the local PD and security. Stay in contact with the team — if anything changes, I want to know immediately.”
Rossi gave a sharp nod, already moving to carry out the directive. Around you, the team dispersed like clockwork. Yet even as they moved, Hotch’s eyes flicked back to you intermittently.
His movements were quick, sharp. Rossi gave him a firm nod before he walked off toward the entrance. Meanwhile, Hotch turned back to you, his hand lightly resting on your shoulder once again, the gesture offering reassurance, though you could see the tightness in his face.
You swallowed hard, nodding in acknowledgement, though a lump had formed in your throat. The scene before you had turned from a competition into something far more complicated, far more dangerous. Hotch, though, was steadfast in his focus, ensuring that everyone had a role to play in securing the area, keeping everyone safe.
"You'll be fine," Hotch said again. "We’ve got this under control, but I need you to stay right here with JJ. Don’t go anywhere. I won’t be far."
You glanced at JJ, who offered you a comforting, gentle smile, and you felt the small knot of anxiety in your stomach begin to loosen slightly. The team had it under control, but even still, the looming threat and the lingering chaos left you feeling a little off-center.
He moved to take his place at the front of the arena, ready to address the situation head-on, but with a glance back at you — just a quick look, to make sure you were still safe.
The tension didn’t ease, not by a long shot, but for the moment, you had the protection you needed.
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The air was thick with tension as Morgan and Emily moved through the backstage area, their footsteps silent but quick. Every corner, every shadow, was a potential hiding spot for the person behind the explosion sound. The buzz of activity and officers calling out orders had begun to fade as the pair zeroed in on their search, their movements precise.
“Here,” Morgan murmured, motioning toward the steel door at the end of the hall. The hum of machinery echoed from within the room — the Zamboni room, where one of the two ice-resurfacing machines was stored when not in use. A room that, until moments ago, had been nothing more than a utilitarian part of the rink’s operation.
Emily’s hand was already on the door handle. She pushed it open, and they both stepped inside, their eyes quickly adjusting to the low light. At first, the room appeared as it always did — rows of machinery, a place for storage, a place for repairs. But then, their gazes locked on the destruction in the center of the room.
The Zamboni was in pieces.
The giant machine had been obliterated. The frame had been crushed, twisted metal hanging off at odd angles like the remnants of a wrecked car. Bits of shattered glass and chunks of the vehicle’s undercarriage were scattered across the floor, the machinery was unrecognizable. The cause of the explosion was now painfully clear — someone had sabotaged the Zamboni with a destructive force designed to do one thing: send a message.
"Jesus," Emily breathed, her voice low but laced with disbelief as she tried to think of exactly how the Zamboni had been destroyed like that. Her hand instinctively reached for her gun, though there was nothing left of the machine to be worried about anymore. The force of the explosion had left a crater of destruction in the middle of the room, the walls and floors marred by scorch marks.
Morgan’s jaw clenched as his eyes narrowed. He surveyed the wreckage, his gaze flickering over every damaged piece. But it was something on top of the destroyed Zamboni that caught his eye.
There, resting on the crushed metal, was a small, unaffected object — something that, at first glance, seemed almost out of place amid the wreckage. It was a plain, seemingly unmarked CD.
"Is that...?" Emily began, stepping forward cautiously as she pulled her flashlight from her belt and cast its beam on the CD. "No way."
Morgan approached the machine slowly, his hand never far from his weapon as he reached for the CD. He gingerly picked it up, his fingers brushing against the surface. The words scrawled on it in thick, bold Sharpie were specific: Play Me.
“Damn,” Morgan muttered under his breath. He turned the CD over in his hands, checking the back for any other markings or labels, but it was just the words.
"Whoever did this... they want us to listen," Emily said, her tone dark, as she stood back from the wreckage. "But why? What’s on it?"
Morgan glanced over at her, his eyes flashing with the usual resolve. "We need to get this to Hotch. He’s gonna want to see this right now. Whatever’s on this CD, it’s tied to all this." His voice hardened, knowing that this wasn't just a random act of destruction; it was part of something bigger. A message. A warning — and it was all for you.
They exchanged a brief look — silent, but their thoughts aligned. The situation was escalating, and they needed to act quickly. They couldn’t afford to waste any more time.
Morgan pocketed the CD in his vest and turned to leave the room, his focus sharp. Emily followed close behind, and as they made their way out, she glanced back at the destroyed Zamboni. She couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. Whatever was coming next, it wasn’t going to be good.
They moved through the hallway with urgency, heading straight for Hotch, who was already coordinating the investigation. The ominous CD in Morgan's pocket felt like a ticking clock. The message had been delivered. Now, it was up to them to decode it before everything spiraled out of control.
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Morgan and Emily hurried back to Hotch, the tension between them noticeable as they moved quickly through the hallway. Morgan had the CD tightly in his grip. As soon as they arrived at the part of the area where Hotch was, Morgan handed over the disc without a word, his expression tense.
Hotch glanced at it before his sharp gaze snapped back up to Morgan. "What do we have?"
Morgan answered, "It's a message. We found it at the scene — the Zamboni room. Whoever did this... they're taunting us."
Emily added, "There's no label on it, just the words 'Play Me' written on the CD. We knew it was important, so we brought it straight to you."
Hotch nodded, his face hardening as he took the CD. Without wasting a second, he led them to a nearby office — one they'd set up as their temporary command center. Inside, he sat down at the computer and inserted the disk into the drive. The monitor flickered before the video began to load.
The figure that appeared on the screen was cast in darkness — his face obscured by shadows, the low lighting ensuring his identity remained hidden. He spoke with an eerie calmness, his voice laced with a mix of confidence and amusement, as though he were already in control of the situation.
“You really thought you could stop me, didn’t you?” His voice was low, calculated, and filled with an unsettling arrogance. If he had had him in his interrogation room, Hotch was sure he would've needed to step out before he let his anger overtake him. “You thought Branson’s death meant the end. But I’m always one step ahead. I'm always ahead." He repeated
The video flickered, and images began to appear on the screen. First, a photo of you, being led to Hotch’s SUV the night Branson was murdered. The image was clear, documenting the aftermath of a tragedy, and the protectiveness in Hotch’s gaze as he escorted you away from the crime scene.
The next photo was taken from a distance — again, it was of you, practicing alone on the ice at the rink, completely unaware of the watchful eyes on you. Anderson who had been there to keep an eye out for you, stood off to the side, watching intently. Fire bubbled within him — Anderson was supposed to look out for you, yet he had let the unsub get close enough to take pictures that day.
Then, another image — you again, this time accompanied by the girls, laughing with them during your night out, a moment of lightheartedness in the midst of everything that had been happening. It was a candid shot, but it held the terrifying realization that you had been watched the entire time.
You had been followed. And you hadn’t known.
The room was dead silent as the images flickered across the screen. It was clear now — this wasn’t just a stalker. This was someone who had been tracking your every move, every breath, for who knows how long. And now, he was making sure you knew it.
The last image hit them hard — a photo of you, surrounded by the team, smiling during your celebration after a long practice, completely unaware of the danger that had been stalking you. You had been followed everywhere, and it was more disturbing now than ever before.
The man’s voice returned, his words dripping with amusement. “You’ll learn soon enough who’s really in charge. This is only the beginning. I will get to her sooner than you think”
The screen cut out abruptly, leaving a chilling silence in its wake.
Hotch stood still for a moment, absorbing the implications of the video. His jaw was clenched tightly as he took in every detail. The fact that this man had been following you, watching you from the shadows — it wasn’t just disturbing, it was personal — he took it personally.
Morgan and Emily exchanged a look, both now fully aware of the gravity of the situation. This wasn’t just about stopping a random killer. This was a calculated, dangerous individual who had been in control the whole time — more than they had thought he had been.
Hotch finally spoke, his voice steady but firm. “Lock down the perimeter. Every exit, every corner, needs to be checked. We need to find out who’s behind this — and we need to do it now. Morgan, Prentiss, you’re with me. We’re going through all the footage from tonight, starting with the security cameras. We need answers, and we need them now.”
He paused and turned to you, his eyes softening just slightly. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you. Stay close. We’re going to handle this.”
You nodded, feeling a surge of both dread and relief. The man behind the video had been watching your every move, but you weren’t alone. The team was here, and they were going to make sure he didn’t get away with it.
Hotch’s jaw was set tight, his eyes dark with fury, but he didn’t let it show outwardly. He was a master of control, and right now, his focus needed to be on the team and you. The anger simmered beneath the surface as the weight of the situation pressed in on him, but he couldn’t afford to let it slip — especially not now. The lives of the people in this arena, particularly yours, depended on him remaining calm.
Still, he couldn’t help but make a mental note, his mind already ticking off the necessary steps. Anderson was next on his list of reprimanding, he had failed to notice, or worse, ignored the warning signs while protecting you. If there was even the slightest chance that Anderson could've prevented this by pulling his head out of his ass, Hotch would make sure he was held accountable. Anderson was going to be in for one hell of a reprimand the moment they got back to the office.
He turned his attention back to the screen, his gaze darkening as the images flickered in his mind. The unsub had been planning this for so long, watching and waiting. And now, Hotch was furious that he’d let this slip under his radar for so long. The thought of you being followed, the pictures of you taken without your knowledge, without your permission... it gnawed at him.
But this wasn’t the time for personal anger. This was the time for action. He couldn’t afford to lose focus. First, he needed to make sure everyone was safe. Second, he needed to find out exactly who this man was and put a stop to him, once and for all.
As his mind ran through the next steps, he made a note to himself: once they were back in the office, he would need to pass the disk over to Garcia. She would be the key to deciphering this he thought — she would find something, maybe a code, in the data hidden on the disk, that would lead them to more answers — maybe she could find the origins of where the disk had been purchased. The words used in the video were no accident, and Garcia’s knack for digging into digital trails was exactly what they needed.
“Take this back to Garcia as soon as possible,” Hotch said, his voice sharp, as he looked at Morgan. “Make sure she checks it from every angle. I want to know who’s behind this, and I want to know now.” He almost growled.
Morgan nodded quickly. “Got it, Hotch.”
Emily, standing by his side, glanced at you briefly. She had a similar, unspoken understanding as Hotch. Whatever was happening now, it was becoming more personal by the second. The killer wasn’t just playing games — he was making his presence known, and he wasn’t going to stop. Not unless they made him.
Hotch turned back to the group with that same steely focus. “Once we have the answers, we move fast. No hesitation. We clear out every area of this arena. Every single corner gets checked. And keep your eyes on the crowd. This man might be hiding in plain sight.”
You, still shaken but determined, met his gaze for a split second, offering him a silent nod. It wasn’t just about safety now. It was about stopping a person who had been lurking in the shadows for far too long. And you were done being the prey.
Hotch’s hand flexed into a fist for a brief moment, his anger still simmering beneath the surface, but he clamped down on it, ready to lead his team with the precise command they needed. He couldn’t afford to let the personal emotions cloud his judgment. Not now. Not when it was all on the line.
“Let’s move,” Hotch said quietly, his voice still calm but filled with that unmistakable urgency. “And remember — stay close. We don’t take any chances.”
They all nodded, shifting into action, and Hotch stayed close, positioning himself as a protective shield between you and the unknown danger that was closing in around you.
And when the case was over, he would deal with Anderson. But right now, there was only one priority: keeping you safe.
The air in the arena was tense as the team waited for the all-clear. Hotch had done everything in his power to ensure the security of the building and those within it. The bomb threat was real, but after a thorough sweep, there was no sign of the unsub inside the arena, no lingering danger. The decision to continue the competition was made with careful consideration, but Hotch wasn’t willing to leave anything to chance.
The FBI had taken over perimeter security, local law enforcement assisting with the sweep of the area, and all competitors were closely monitored. Hotch made sure the team was in position, watching the exits, the crowd, the ice, and each other’s backs. They’d gone over the plan several times already, but the weight of the situation wasn’t lost on him. Even though the threat was seemingly neutralized, Hotch wasn’t going to leave anything to chance. Not while you were so vulnerable.
As the final skaters took the ice, Hotch kept his eyes on you, watching you from a few feet away as you sat in the designated area, the bright lights of the arena casting sharp contrasts across your expression. He noticed you were still tense, though you did your best to hide it. Your body was still tightly wound, the nerves from earlier lingering, but you were focused — your eyes intent on the ice as each skater performed their routine.
Hotch had made it clear earlier that the team was staying close, and he kept that promise. He wasn’t going to let you out of his sight — not now, not ever. He stationed himself just behind you, standing protectively, while the rest of the team remained nearby, their eyes scanning the crowd and the rink, ensuring no one would get too close.
Morgan was just a few feet to his left, standing with Emily, both of them making sure to keep watch of the area around you, while Reid sat a little further away, his eyes flicking between the skaters and the crowd. Garcia, on the other hand, was in constant communication with Hotch, eyes glued to the security feeds on her laptop, making sure there was no sign of the unsub reappearing.
You glanced up at Hotch and offered a small, thankful smile. You appreciated the support, even if you weren’t sure you could perform at your best with everything going on. The fear that had been gnawing at you earlier was still there, buried under layers of nerves and adrenaline, but you could feel a little of it slip away with Hotch’s presence so close by. It was almost like he was your rock.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said quietly, sensing your unease. His voice was calm, yet it carried assurance.
It was that voice that reminded you that he was there for you — not just as an agent or as a protector, but as someone who cared deeply about your safety and well-being. You nodded, grateful, and looked back to the ice, your mind still swirling with the weight of everything happening around you. You focused on your breathing, trying to steady yourself, trying to find that quiet place where your mind and body could align.
The announcer called out the name of the last skater, and you turned your focus back to the ice as the young woman glided out with perfect form. Hotch’s hand subtly touched the back of your seat, the smallest gesture that was somehow grounding, reminding you that he was there — always within reach.
It was almost surreal, the calm after the chaos. The atmosphere was still electric, the energy of the arena humming with anticipation. The competitors were giving it their all, but your mind kept circling back to the moment that had nearly destroyed everything. You didn’t want to think about the danger anymore, but it lingered just beneath the surface.
The final skater performed her routine with grace, but there was something in the way she moved that didn’t quite have the same sharpness as the others. The audience cheered, but the applause wasn’t as thunderous as it had been for some of the earlier skaters. As she finished, the score popped up on the board — an impressive number, but nothing that would push her to the top.
“Okay,” Hotch muttered, giving a glance to Morgan. “Let’s keep it tight. No surprises.”
The last round of scores were being tallied. The scoreboard flickered momentarily as the announcer stepped up to call the final results. The crowd’s hushed anticipation was a thick tension in the air, and Hotch stayed standing by you.
Through the chaos of the competition, he had made sure to keep a cool, level head. His team was sharp, and they had done everything they could to ensure your safety. Now, it was your time to shine, despite the shadows still lurking in the background.
The results would soon be in. And no matter what the outcome, Hotch would stand by you, just as he had all along.
The competition had been intense, every skater pushing their limits, giving everything they had. You had performed your routine flawlessly, but the pressure and nerves still clawed at you. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you could feel the eyes of everyone in the arena on you.
The announcer’s voice broke through the silence, echoing through the arena.
“The scores are in for the women’s singles competition. And moving on to regionals in the first place is Natalia Ivanova and Y/N L/N!”
The crowd erupted into applause, and Natalia stood tall, a proud smile on her face, a glimmer of triumph in her eyes.
The cheers were louder than before, but you didn’t fully register them. Your heart was still racing, the rush of your performance still lingering in the pit of your stomach. You had made it to regionals, but sharing first place still felt bittersweet. Natalia had set the bar high, and you’d come so close, but it hadn’t been enough to truly overtake her in your mind.
But there was a sense of pride too. You had done your best. You had stayed focused and resilient despite everything. And you knew that getting to regionals was still a massive accomplishment, despite sharing the spot.
Natalia turned toward you, her gaze locking with yours across the rink. She gave you a small nod of acknowledgment, a respectful gesture. You returned it with a smile, a silent understanding passing between you. You had been rivals on the ice, but in this moment, there was nothing but respect between you.
“You did great,” Hotch said, his voice low and reassuring. “It is an incredible achievement.”
You nodded, the words from him soothing some of the tension in your chest. But a part of you was still restless — sharing first place meant that the job wasn’t finished yet. Regionals were still ahead, and the road was far from easy.
“Let’s get to the locker room. You’ve earned some time to relax,” Hotch continued.
You let him lead you off the ice, the team forming a protective circle around you as you made your way through the arena. Morgan gave you a thumbs-up from the sidelines, a proud smile on his face. Emily flashed you a wink, and Garcia was quick to send you an encouraging smile as she checked her phone, likely already gathering intel for anything suspicious.
You reached the locker room, and Hotch gave you a moment to catch your breath. The adrenaline from the performance was still running high, but a small sense of relief washed over you. You had made it through the competition, and despite everything, you had succeeded. Natalia may have outperformed you technically, but you were headed to regionals with her and had a better storyline and components in your performance.
And now, with the competition behind you, it was time to regroup, refocus, and prepare for what was to come. The threat was far from over, but for now, you had made it to the next stage.
Hotch stepped closer, his tone serious. “We’ll be right here with you. Let’s keep our focus sharp, and get ready for the next round.”
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jacqueline-01 · 2 days ago
Text
Under the Surface
Teasing , hotch x y/n fluff
It was late, the office eerily quiet after a long, grueling day. The rest of the team had already left, but you were still at your desk, reviewing case files. Your eyes were tired, and your back ached from hours spent hunched over the papers, but you were determined to finish
You didn’t hear him approach, but you felt it the moment Aaron Hotchner stepped into the room. His presence was undeniable—quiet, commanding, and far too close for comfort. You glanced up and met his eyes, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.
“Still working?” he asked, his deep voice soft but laced with something you couldn’t quite place.
“Yeah,” you replied, trying to sound unaffected as you closed the file in front of you. “Just wrapping up.”
Hotch’s gaze lingered on you, his eyes dark but intent. There was something about the way he watched you that made your pulse race. The space between you felt charged, the air heavy with unspoken words.
You shook your head. “I’m fine. Just need to finish this.”
His lips curled slightly at the corners, a subtle smirk playing on his face. “I know you, Y/N. You’re always pushing yourself.” He took a slow step forward, close enough now that you could feel the warmth radiating off him. It was almost too much, the heat between you undeniable.
Your breath caught in your throat, but you tried to keep it steady. “I’m not pushing myself. Just… focused.”
Hotch’s eyes softened, and for a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw something else there—a flicker of something deeper. He leaned against the edge of your desk, so close you could feel the fabric of his suit brushing against your arm.
“You don’t always have to do everything alone, Y/N,” he said, his voice low and just a little more intimate than usual. “I’m here if you need help.”
You cleared your throat, trying to regain your composure, but it was hard. The way he stood there, so close, his body almost touching yours—it made your heart race.
“I don’t need help,” you said, your voice a little breathier than you intended. You couldn’t help the slight teasing tone that crept into your words. “But I appreciate the offer.”
Hotch chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. “You’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?” His voice was playful now, but there was an edge to it—a challenge, a dare.
You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his once more, and for a second, everything else in the room faded away. His gaze darkened, his lips parting slightly as if he was about to say something, but instead, he took another step closer.
You could feel the heat from his body now, the subtle but undeniable closeness. It was a dangerous game, one you didn’t know if you were ready to play.
But the longer he stood there, the more you found yourself drawn to him—his strength, his intensity, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the room.
"I could walk you to your car,” he suggested softly, the words hanging between you like a promise. “It’s late, and I don’t want you out there alone.”
You nodded, though your mind was racing, and your heart was pounding in your chest. You stood up slowly, the proximity between you and him too much to ignore. As you moved past him, you felt his hand brush against the back of your arm—brief, but enough to send a jolt through you.
The two of you walked in silence down the hallway, the only sound the click of your shoes on the floor. You couldn’t shake the tension between you, the way your body reacted to his every move, every glance.
As you reached the door, Hotch stopped and turned to face you, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re not going to leave me hanging, are you, Y/N?” His voice was teasing now, but the intensity was still there.
Your heart skipped a beat, and you looked up at him, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Leave you hanging?” you asked, your voice low and full of promise. “I’m not sure you’re ready for what’s coming next.”
Hotch’s gaze darkened, the smirk on his lips transforming into something more predatory, more focused. He took a step closer, his hand reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from your face. The simple gesture felt intimate, as though he was memorizing every detail of you.
“Maybe I’m already prepared,” he said quietly, his voice like silk.
You stood there for a moment, the tension so thick you could almost taste it. And then, just before you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, he leaned in just enough to close the space, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours.
But he didn’t kiss you.
He didn’t move.
He simply waited. And in that silence, you both realized you weren’t the only one teetering on the edge.
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sincerelybubbles · 3 months ago
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ok shy bau reader and the team finally managed to get her to come a rossi dinner party so she can meet the rest of the team families that she hasn’t met yet, maybe after her first date with hitch and the team realized quickly she softened very fast with the kids and jack and her just seemed to click really fast and jack had her talking more than any of the team has so far… hotch is star eyes
hotch x shy!bau!reader \\ Dinner and Delights
Warnings: brief mention/allusions to Christianity. Otherwise, fluff! More insight into what Aaron is thinking :) I got very carried away, I hope you enjoy <3
"Woah hot stuff, where are you going so fast?" Morgan intercepts you with an arm around your shoulder as you attempt to slip out of the BAU unnoticed. "Hopefully to get ready for our big dinner plans?"
It's not that you don't want to go to one of Rossi's famous dinner parties, you're just afraid that your sub-par social skills would be noticeable by tenfold in a more casual environment.
At work, you can hide your quietness by talking about the psychology of the unsub, your specialty as a licensed psychologist. You can pretend you're not hiding in your shell when the team is all laughing and talking about personal lives by quietly listening while pretending to read your maps and journals. You can observe them and spend time with them, because you do truly love them all at this point, without feeling bad that you prefer to listen over talk.
And that's really it - you prefer to listen to them. You would say you've all but warmed up to all of them. You like Morgan's teasing, Emily's stories, Reid's rambling, Rossi's sarcasm, and Hotch's...
Everything, but the thought snaps you back to the present before you can dwell on memories of a sweet date in a dark restaurant.
"Of course," you succeed, nodding and sending him a tight-lipped smile.
"Hey," he slows you down and stops in the hallway, turning you to face him gently before lifting his hands in a placating gesture as if you were an animal he expects to run. "You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with but I promise none of us are trying to lead our little lamb to slaughter. We know you're quiet," the admission embarrasses you and makes you feel guilty pleasant that he sounds so gentle about it, "and nobody minds, I think it's cute and I think the rest are just happy our other genius isn't as vocal as Reid."
Your nose scrunches at the small dig and you open your mouth to protest at putting Reid down to lift you up.
"And look at that! Another thing we all love - you're quiet but won't let anyone say anything about the other behind their back. You're a good person, we all just want to spend some less-intense time with you. So, go home and doll yourself up, and get ready to see Hotch wine tipsy. We all know that's your main motivator." Morgan winks at you and moves quickly down the hall and away from you, laughing, before you can protest.
He's not wrong, though, and you shake your head as you move toward the elevator.
You end up on Rossi's doorstep, choking the neck of a bottle of expensive wine between two sweaty palms. Your heart is in your throat, nerves humming in anticipation.
Your team cares about you. Nobody expects you to be anything you're not. Gentle affirmations meant to soothe over your skin in gently lapping waves erupt into steam; like water hitting lava rock. You're too tense, too worried about not saying enough or too much; saying the wrong thing or saying the right thing only once and never living up to the expectation of repeated occurrences.
"Hey," Emily says from behind you. You turn to see her jogging up to stand beside you, brushing off her pants and adjusting her jacket. "You brought wine!" She cheers happily, reaching past you to turn the nob and open the door.
She gestures you inside, making no comment about your obvious hesitance. With her by your side, your nerves are calmed. Aside from Aaron, she's the easiest for you to be around. You don't feel any expectations with Emily. She doesn't talk too much or too little, doesn't push, doesn't ever send a pitying look when you opt out of activities outside of work.
"Château Lafite," you say to her, lifting the wine and shaking it gently in the air as you walk inside.
"Oh! Fancy wine."
"Wine?" Rossi asks, rounding a corner. He's dressed slightly more casually in a soft sweater and jeans, drying his hands off with a pristine dish towel. "The more the merrier, bring it in here."
You follow his gesture back into the kitchen, leaving Emily to go to what you presume is the living or dining area.
"Where did you find this?" Rossi asks, taking the wine from you to examine it and letting out a low whistle as he appreciates it.
"Just my local winery," you say, neglecting to admit that you go there often enough that the owner leaves the nicer stuff behind the counter for you.
Lonely nights crave wine, twisting them into lovely things you can appreciate. You enjoy your own company after years of quietly observing others. You've learned how to observe yourself, too, after all of these years.
And, even though you don't quite realize it, the self-awareness carries like confidence. That's what Aaron sees in you: observant eyes darting across a room and noticing everything, understanding flickering before anyone else catches a cue, deft movements across the paper while taking notes, and swift motions always with a purpose.
It's what he sees now, hands in the pockets of his dark jeans while he leans in the doorway of Rossi's kitchen, watching you. How could he not? You're a lovely creature, always begging for his eyes to settle on you for another second, and then another.
He knows the moment you realize he's in the room, minutes before Rossi. You stand straighter, tilt your chin lower, and are aware far before you tilt your head to the side to send him a soft smile. He returns it before Rossi can catch him. It's a warmth he wants to reserve for you.
"Dave," he interrupts the other man's monologuing about the wine he's sure you already know all about, "Jack would like to know if he and Spencer can use your chess set when he gets here?"
"Of course, I'll get it from my study." Rossi leaves, passing you the wine and gesturing to the opener.
Aaron steps in before you can start the process of opening the wine. He doesn't quite know why, but he wants to do it for you. He finds himself wanting that more and more recently: to do simple tasks for the sole purpose of you not having to do them. Opening doors and pulling out chairs are simple gestures that he did with Hayley, but he wants to do sillier, smaller, things, too. Straighten the pens on your desk back into their cup, reorganize the files on your desktop, untangle the wires of the headphones he really should reprimand you for using at your desk, open a damn bottle of wine he can't pronounce the name of but that he heard you say so gently to Emily as you walked in.
"Jack's here?" You ask, handing him the wine and crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back against the counter to watch him work.
He relishes how your eyes focus on his arms, pupils dilating, as his muscles work under his thin henley.
"Yes, I have him this weekend and he likes to spend time with Reid and Garcia."
He has to step closer to reach above you to get the wine glasses. He could ask you to step aside, tuck his hand against your waist to move you himself, or simply walk into the next room to grab the glasses sitting on the table. But, instead, he tucks one foot in between yours, puts one hand on the back of your head to guard it from the cabinet, and opens it to find the nicer crystal there.
Your breath hitches across his neck and he remembers the chaste kisses he's given you before. Nothing serious, nothing has been yet because he's waiting for you to lead him into that, but tantalizing nonetheless. He steps back to pour the wine, standing closer to you than he started.
A little for you, passed gently, and then a little for him. Dave could pour his own glass.
You take the wine and sip it slowly, tongue darting out to taste before you sip. He's reminded of communion as a child. The blood of christ, sacred, something to be tasted but not meant to satiate. Reverence in a sip, devotion in a small act.
He wants to give you the same thing. The desire hits him in the sternum, suddenly, leaving him winded as he watches you lower the glass. Your eyes are locked on his, you haven't seemed as hesitant about holding his gaze recently - something that makes him melt - and he wonders if you can feel how he wants to take care of you. How he wants to show you the same force that water uses to carve canyons. Persistence and pressure, time and care. He's willing to take his time, he's filled with the same patience as everything all together in nature. He's a rabbit perched on its hind legs, sniffing the wind for safety before darting forward; the bird hung in flight between beats of wings, the whisper of wind carrying small seeds miles away to wait and watch the growth. Wait, wait, wait, however long it takes, he's there. For you.
It's a strong feeling to fully realize in David Rossi's kitchen, but he's grateful for it, anyway.
"It's good," you comment softly, eyes smiling.
"Is it?" He asks, setting his glass down and retaking his spot nearer to you. He misses your warmth. "Can I?" He asks, brushing his fingers across your jugular before cupping your cheek.
"Taste the wine?" You tease, eyes flickering to his glass. The gentle jest pulls a chuckle from his chest. Another thing you've become more comfortable doing around him. His blood and bones sing at how familiar you can be with him.
"Yes," he says in a breath, dipping his head down to brush his lips against yours.
And you're reciprocating - you've always reciprocated, enthusiastically, just never in the pressing way you are now. You set down your own glass to hold his arms in both of your hands. Fingers dig into his arm as you sigh and open your mouth, new lands to explore, tilting your head back to grant him full access.
"Daddy?" Jack asks and Aaron pulls away, a man parched and staring at an oasis in the middle of a desert, before Jack can round the corner. He doesn't go far, though, hand traveling down to the small of your back as he turns.
"Jack?" Aaron replies, waiting for him to come around the corner.
"Hello," Jack says, stopping in the doorway and looking up at you with wide eyes.
You've met him a few times before, always in passing, but you still smile warmly and wave at him.
"Hi, Jack."
"Do you know how to play chess?" Jacks asks. Aaron smiles at the eagerness on his son's face.
"Yes, I do. Would you like to play?"
"Yes please!" Jack jumps forward to grab your hand, pulling you into the living room before you can react.
You go easily, though, following him with a gentle laugh that warms the coldest parts of him. Pieces of him he doesn't think have seen the light in years brighten at the sound. He's heard you laugh before but something about the sight of you laughing because of Jack illuminates needs that he didn't even know he had. Needs you're meeting before he can feel the yawning desire of them.
He follows, unable to resist the desire to see you two interact over and over again. You're setting up the board, listening to Jack chatter on, nodding intently.
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ddejavvu · 4 months ago
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job interview with aaron and as soon as you shake hands your apple watches shows the high heart rate alert (more in a cute crush way than a serious life threating way please💀)
You're not nervous, per se, but there's certainly something that's heating your face and twisting your stomach. You're in the FBI headquarters. You're about to interview for the most prestigious position you've ever laid eyes on, and if you get the job, you'll be set for life. All you're waiting on is your interviewer, and you feel the buzz of your watch on your wrist alerting you to the meeting in your calendar at the precise second that the door beside you opens.
"Y/N Y/L/N?" Your interviewer asks, and you're already halfway out of your seat before he can get your last name out of his mouth. You're impressed with and grateful for his punctuality, but when you turn to face him you discover you've got a whole other reason to be hot in the face.
He's hot in the face.
His eyes and hair are matching dark hues that makes his soft pink smile all the more delicate and tender. His shoulders are broad and tightly hugged by his neatly pressed suit, and the hand that he holds out to you is strong when you shake it.
"I'm Aaron Hotchner," He introduces himself, and you'd known that, but you're infinitely grateful to hear the words out of his own mouth. Anything to prolong the time you get to spend listening to his voice.
Another vibration comes from your watch, this time accompanied by an invasive chime. You rush to shut it off, positive that you'd put the device on silent, but you realize why it's bypassed your settings: it's a medical alert.
Your heart rate has spiked, and while it's not exactly heart-attack material, it's not resting either. Something about this encounter is sending you into a frenzy, and you're quite certain it's not the job interview.
"Sorry," You try playing the situation off with a good-natured laugh, but there's a similar watch resting on his wrist, and you're sure he's heard the alert-specific chime before, "I thought I set it to silent."
"Medical alerts always make a sound," His heavy brows furrow into compassionate concern, and he moves forward to set a hand on your shoulder to guide you forwards into his office, "Come, sit down. We'll prolong the interview for a few minutes until you're feeling better."
Another chime sounds barely seconds after his hand begins resting on your shoulder, and you know right then and there that if he's going to wait until your heart rate is back to normal, the interview won't ever start.
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