#ASoUE AU

[multipleoccupancy]

"Every night," Theo smiled back at her, knowing he had shown he was unconvinced but he was glad of the change of topic, there were more pressing worried than Violet for now. "You can look after yourself, I just don't like the idea of bait." It was all they had though and he and Sloane could make sure nothing happened to her, Violet too from her vantage point. He could see she was worried and in some way it helped, it meant she would be careful out there.

Oh yeah, the bears. Theo looked at her worriedly for a moment, is seemed like she was constantly in danger if she was here and then when she went home she had to deal with bears! Of course in his mind the situation was much worse than it actually was and he imagined her having to deal with bears on a daily occurrence. "You should use it if you have to you know. You're right it's better off with you." He agreed, at least in New York there were just the stray pets, rats and occasional parrot. "You can, you know, have it if you want?" He'd relinquish it if it meant she could be spared from the bears at home too!

"I am not sure I have a favourite," Sloane mused as they walked though he was clearly thinking hard about it. "I have used so many but I suppose the best one might have been the pilot." He concluded, inadvertently revealing that he and thus other Sloanes could get into the cockpits of planes if they deemed it necessary.

Ah! It sounded like the HR role was no walk in the park, he supposed not every cell was like theirs and well, Samantha could really put her foot down if she decided to. "It probably is," he at least admitted for it being a harder role but he was even more pleased that Killian and Samantha were in touch too and he assumed that he was much the same as them.

"Astrid," he acknowledged with a smile and a nod before gently but encouragingly patting her on the shoulder. "You'll do great, let's go." He instructed and then opened the door to the office. Beyond it there was an empty reception area and then a small plastic screen where a young man was sat typing away on a computer, pausing to look at them both as the door opened. "Good evening," Sloane greeted as he fumbled around a little as if trying to find his wallet, sounding a little more exasperated than he had just done and as if he was a frazzled single dad in a 'pickle', "Come on in to talk to the nice man, Astrid." He smiled at her encouragingly, so very much as if he was indeed her father.

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy

Samantha could tell that her words had not really appeased Killian's worries. She knew him far too well not to notice. But she wasn't sure that anything she could say would comfort him when it came to Violet's presence here, and all it could entail for them. So, she just offered him a warm smile and dropped the subject. "Just tonight?" she teased, trying to hide her own worries behind a joke.

"That's true, I can't," she admitted patiently, "but I can hide the crossbow in the trunk of my car. My dad never uses it anyway. And if he does somehow find it, I'll tell him I bought it to fend off bears. People in my town have all sorts of guns to protect themselves against bears, a crossbow won't be too unusual." A little bit unusual, sure. But she wouldn't be grounded for it. She glanced at Killian, hoping the mention of bears would convince him.

"What's your favorite disguise?" asked Violet. She did chuckle when he mentioned how well he decorated his house for Halloween, though there was a sadness in her eyes. Her heart broke just a little bit at the thought that all of this, his house, his family, the little traditions they had... would one day go up in flames. Literally and figuratively.

Unaware that she had relieved Sloane of a great worry, she nodded at his question. "My dad says it's probably more scary than being on the field," she joked, though she didn't know just how unhinged Delta Green agents could be.

She stopped next to Sloane. "Oh- Astrid, my name is Astrid," she whispered, in case anyone could hear them on the other side of the door. The prospect of calling him "Dad" was daunting. Her mouth was suddenly very dry, she felt like she had swallowed a handful of sawdust. "Yes, I remember."

[afterthegreatunknown]

asoue au: gregor doesn't exist.

hector and ike anwhistle joked when they were little about their imaginary older brother name gregor. they picked gregor because it works with their naming scheme: g-h-i. they gave gregor the interest of fossils (mainly trace fossils) and of mycology. they gave him an unpredictable personality; one moment he can be a bully to them, the next moment he's their best friend in the world.

after they got recruited, they joked to other neophytes one day about how their older brother never got recruited properly due to being away at a boarding school in the middle of the hinterlands and is more or less exempted from the training they went through.

only one person got the joke, remembering it was april fools day. so everyone in their generation sincerely believes that gregor anwhistle exists. hector and ike being kids at the time, continue the joke. they show letters gregor wrote them and gifts he sent them. in reality hector wrote them in a messier handwriting style so no one traces it back to him, and ike used his allowance to buy items that gregor would send the two they would like or of gregor's own interests.

(beatrice being around the same age as her second cousins, accept the idea that gregor is an anwhistle she never met, for she doesn't visits the anwhistles that often per-recruitment; though once in awhile beatrice thinks otherwise. jacques and kit are more certain on the idea that gregor doesn't exist, but memory is a funny thing; they want to give the benefit of the doubt that they met gregor once but forgotten him after he went to boarding school.)

when their associates decided that they need to meet gregor properly, hector and ike and realize maybe the joke is going far. but they didn't stop, instead of taking steps to delay said proper meeting, saying that gregor is very busy, but he would try to contact them through means that isn't letters. hector called in phone booths, or made recordings in a deeper voice than usual, with an accent that their father uses. ike took photos of himself in elevated shoes (for gregor is 'taller' than hector and ike) from behind, or obscure his face by any means possible, in clothes that ike (and hector) would never wear.

the joke nearly blew up in their face, when beatrice, kit, and jacques ran into ike, scouting a location for another photo shoot. the three pushed ike to introduce gregor. luckily for ike, it was evening and hector was around; hector put on his gregor voice and the gregor shoes and clothes to become gregor; hector also wore a mask around his face, the excuse being to lower the chance of getting sick.

and the three bought it completely. their meeting of gregor spread to their other associates (sans josephine; she was the one who got the joke back then, and while she didn't support hector and ike continuous joking, didn't stop them either). soon, the others were meeting gregor in the same circumstances: in the evening, with gregor wearing a mask with ike or hector present (on occasion ike takes over to avoid suspicions, though he talks very little due to poorly copying hector's gregor voice and thus tries not to let anyone know).

the visits were heard by their parents, as well as other older volunteers. with the joke now known to older generation, hector and ike feared the lecture of the century, as well the order of telling everyone the truth.

but as it turns out, they couldn't.

their parents and the others older volunteers learned someone in their generation created a plan. a dangerous plan to stop the other side, and end the schism after all. their plan? create a deadly fungus.

and mycology is after all, an interest of gregor.

so the joke continued on, much to hector and ike's dismay. they didn't like gregor being the figurehead of the project with other scientists working with him, with beatrice and bertrand joining in later in creating the antidote. they didn't like how gregor became more unpredictable, wanting the project to succeed despite it being so dangerous that kit wrote to gregor to warn him with a thin threat in her letter.

it's a letter hector tried to response too, but he never got past drafts of letters and scripts to make a recording on or make as a proper phone call. it's a letter ike tried to response too in person, but he could never face kit when in his gregor clothes and shoes.

both hector and ike felt that maybe things would be better if gregor was better off dead.

so imagine their surprise and horror when anwhistle aquatic was burnt to the ground, with all but one body being account for: gregor. as such, during gregor's funeral, there was no casket to be bury. just a blurry photo of him from behind shown.

hector and ike after leaving the funeral, thought they could finally be a peace. both are now away from the city; hector is now living in the village of fowl devotee, while ike is married to josephine at last and lives over lake lachrymose with her in a house that is theirs.

but they aren't at peace. the guilt of their joke having a life on its own, a life that was killed by outsiders, haunts them. both hector and ike wonder at times if karma, if it exists, will get to them.

(ike being the first brother to go by the leeches as hector thinking maybe.)

(hector's not-so-chance reunion with kit and widdershins out at sea has hector thinking very likely)

(hector's no-way-in-hell survival of the great unknown has hector thinking yes, especially when considering who he survived with.)

[jew-flexive]

“Why are you here?” He snaps, leaning heavily on his doorframe. There are a hundred answers to his question, each less admissible than the last.

Because Jacques told me it was necessary. Because someone told Jacques to tell me it was necessary. Because I’m the only person besides B who might turn you human. Because I’m the only person besides B who still thinks you’re human. Because you’re brilliant and mad and still so goddamn useful. Because tattoos stay permanent no matter how many fires you start. Because I think you start fires just because you know I’ll be the one to put them out. Because you’re laughably easy to lie to. Because I didn’t kill your father but I might as well have. Because you didn’t kill my brother but given half a chance you would have. Because you loved me for five years and still only hate me a little.

Because I want to be. God help me, I’m here because I want to be.

“We should talk,” is all she says, stepping past him through the door.

[It’s a year before the Baudelaire fire. Kit has always been a very useful volunteer.]

[inamindfarfaraway]

A Series of Unfortunate Events crossover AU with The Incredibles where the Baudelaires are a family of supers. Bertrand and Beatrice used to be a superhero team, albeit with murky pasts. Syndrome, their former biggest fan, lures them to Nomanisan Island and kills them with the Omnidroid, then has it declared a tragic accident. Their three children are now orphans. Hiding their powers is more important than ever. People who know tend to be less sympathetic and more suspicious and the National Super Agency is inclined to put the quietness of their lives above the quality of them. Good thing that their totally legitimate relative Buddy Pine is around to foster them right away! He’s a brilliant inventor with a billion-dollar company! He even loves superheroes and offers to train the kids in his advanced facility! What could possibly go wrong?

Fourteen-year-old Violet can generate and control electricity. However, she’s inexperienced at doing so in visible, direct ways. Manipulating currents through materials and inside machines or even her own nervous system (stimulating her muscles to keep herself awake, focused or move with more energy, for example) is easier for her. She gets more comfortable producing raw electricity over time, especially when she needs to protect her siblings. She could control other people’s nervous systems, but doesn’t want to. All technology fascinates her. To complement her intuitive mastery of electronics, she has great skill in mechanical engineering and the resourcefulness to invent equipment out of whatever is available. Being a living battery only enhances what she can create. Since extended use of her power raises her hair with static electricity, she wears her hair securely braided and tied with a ribbon.

Twelve-year-old Klaus has extrasensory perception which, based on his highly verbal thought process as an avid bookworm, is attuned to words. He can hear people’s thoughts, but needs to concentrate to search for information below the surface, filter through the vast swathes of irrelevant information and interpret the nonverbal thoughts and emotions mixed in. So it’s often like reading an extremely dense book full of words you don’t know and unlabelled pictures. But he can figure many of those unknowns out through his keen reasoning. He can also mentally sense the presence of physical text nearby, read it even if he can’t see it and scan a space for specific words, for example to find a certain book in a library. Between this and his photographic memory, he’s a fantastic researcher. His eyes glow the harder he pushes his powers. His glasses help to disguise that on top of correcting his vision, refracting the light, so the quirk will only expose him if they’re lost or broken.

One-year-old Sunny has an invulnerable digestive system that can process anything with no ill effects. Glass, poison, fire. Her teeth are superhumanly durable and sharp. But while nothing along the tube from her jaw to her rear end will bleed, burn or break, the rest of her will, therefore she still needs to be careful how she ingests hazardous things. And just because she can eat and drink everything, doesn’t mean she likes every taste and texture. She actually has a refined palette and prodigious culinary talents.

[badlydrawndrawnings]

ASOUE AU Idea:

Kit Snicket on the Island, ends up giving birth to twins, a girl and a boy, and they are name after the two most important people Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire could ever love. They’re a pair of twins who lived the first year of their lives on the Island, raised by the Baudelaires. Upon their first birthday, it was decided they should go back to the mainland.

Nine years later, the twins due to a series of events, are in search of the Baudelaires. After many adventures, mishaps, and numerous exchange of letters, they eventually managed to get help to find their family, in the form of their enigmatic uncle, Lemony Snicket.

Beatrice ‘Bea’ Baudelaire II

and

Bertrand ‘Bertie’ Baudelaire II

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

I've had this thought for 2,5 years but I really gotta make a list of every song Regina sings in Quagmire Sixtuplets.

Can't make a spotify list cause every song isn't available on spotify, but at least make a tumblr post or smth

[afterthegreatunknown]

asoue au where gregor anwhistle is alive and the stepfather of fernald and fiona, part two:

all while hector and widdershins are living together in the hinterlands in peace (peaceful as it can be until a certain event), the organization is in disarray. a family is in disarray.

the organization knows ishmael is alive given gregor's testimony, but no one knows where he could be. all that they know from gregor is that he's out there in the ocean in a bathyscaphe. some speculate ishmael eventually died for one can't travel too far and too long in a bathyscaphe (it's not a submarine, after all), while other speculate given the man's character, found a way to survive.

gregor other's brother ike, and his wife josephine, are ridden with guilty for partly causing the death of frigga, and widdershins. never would they assume their warning would have lead to the frigga getting shot. they never thought gregor's volatility would have him killing widdershins without any hesitation. the two deaths had ike and josephine entering retirement in the organization, limiting their contact with gregor to letters, until they died by leeches. not together, but leeches did killed them both.

kit snicket, while not losing her reputation in the organization (as with the others involve), slowly loses her other relationships as a result of the fire, especially with regards to widdershins' death. she loses ike and josephine, for like the couple themselves, holds them partly responsible for widdershins' death. kit loses betrand and beatrice, for their involvement in the volatile fungus deportation project has her seeing them as accomplices. kit loses her twin, after he writes an article that blames the boy widdershins loved as his own, as the one who destroyed anwhistle aquatic, and as widdershins' killer.

gregor himself goes through the ringer. he is unable to regain funding for a second attempt of the volatile fungus deportation project. the organization doesn't want to deal with another schism within schism. while gregor was offered by the organization to work in other less deadly projects, he instead decided to take over as captain of the queequeg, for the organization plan to turn it into scrap metal.

gregor doesn't mourn the lost of his project. he only mourns his wife, and widdershins. especially widdershins. it's why gregor become a captain, to save the queequeg, the one thing left of widdershins.

everyone mourns over frigga, but not many mourn over widdershins. much of the organization pretends he never existed, partly due to his violent death is something they don't want to think about again, but mostly because they're finally able to remove the 'leech outsider' who 'wormed' his way into the organization.

and fernald is disguised by them all, especially by gregor.

fernald always respected gregor, but never liked him. gregor never did anything to earn the teenager's ire though, which is why he didn't make complaints or objected to his mother's decision to date him. but now though, fernald has every reason to spite the man.

gregor allowed mom to transform into a different woman, and let her die. she became a woman who cared for work, and only work. not her family, her two children. gregor killed widdershins, the man who took care of fernald as a child, who tutored fernald like a chaperone. fernald lost the man he saw as a brother, as family.

the lost of his mother and widdershins has fernald one night lashing out at gregor. fernald yells at gregor for everything, and without any interruptions. fernald was able to let his feelings out at long last. and at the end...gregor told fernald to get out. that to take his things, and to never come back. and fernald does so without hesitation, crying his eyes out a week later, realizing he doomed fiona, and himself. he cries in anger as he read a newspaper article that brought back widdershins into the world, at the cost of everything he holds dear.

and it's fernald's anger at gregor does he make the decision to switch sides. it came to be after kit went to fernald in hopes to calm him down from reading her brother's article. and she did so, sort of. fernald stop his crying, but he was still angry, and told kit he wanted to get back at gregor by doing the one thing that would make him upset.

kit in horror, reminded fernald that he ought to be careful in how to spite his stepfather, for the one person who would be disappointed by fernald's actions, would be widdershins. and fernald told kit that he's doing it because of widdershins, that if the man was alive, fernald wouldn't thinking it in the first place.

and kit, despite knowing it's the wrong decision, lets fernald go. kit recognizes she is unable to change the path he's going, but accepts it. all she can do is wish him good luck and tells him that the next time they meet, they will be enemies. and fernald tells kit thank you, and makes her promise to watch his sister, if she can. fernald fears fiona's life will not be easy under gregor's care.

fernald's fears while not correct, also isn't wrong. gregor takes care of fiona; he feeds her, provides her clothes, and make sure she gets the best education possible, but he makes no attempts to emotionally connect with her. gregor refers to fiona as his daughter, but one can tell he doesn't view her as such. they can tell by his voice, how hollow it is, how dull his eyes are as he speaks the word.

once fiona gets old enough, she learns of her mother. she learns from her father that her mother died in a fire, and he failed to save here. it was a fire that her brother fernald blames gregor for, and ran away from home because the grief overtook him, for seeing fiona had the boy being painfully reminded of that night.

fiona also learns, all by herself, that her father is hiding something. some things are more obvious than others. her father's attempt to hide his...disconnection with her, is one she noticed at five, after he didn't appear on her birthday, only sending a gift from the mail. from that day onward, fiona knows her father is a father in everything but spirit, acting the motions of a father, but not letting himself be one. fiona wishes he could call him anything but that, but she feels oblige. he is the only family she has left. she doesn't want to lose him.

another thing fiona learns over time, is that her father is lying about being a submarine captain. fiona after visiting a few submarines with kit snicket -kit is the only volunteer willing to take fiona to other organization submarines- sees how her father isn't as skilled at the controls, which has fiona deciding to learn how to be a captain. it's something fiona can see kit is happy about, knowing the queequeg is in good hands at long last.

fiona learns how her father was very likely a scientist, after one day at the bookstore, when he buys three expensive trace fossils books, and she buys her first mycology book. her father upon seeing her book, has a light in his eyes, and spirit in his voice as he tells fiona about mycology, and how it's a dangerous field to study in, and to take caution, almost as if he was speaking from experience.

most importantly, fiona after some digging of the library, learns of the person who was very likely, the true captain of the queequeg. she finds the hidden poetry books, improper and proper dieting books, and the works of herman melville. one work in particular, moby dick, looks like it was read many times. pages are ready to fall out, and there are light pencil underlines in certain passages and of certain names.

one name in particular stands out to fiona. queequeg. fiona, after finally finishing her reading of moby dick, sees why the reader like queequeg, enough to name a submarine after him.

and it's moby dick does fiona sees how her father was once truly happy. inside the book is a photograph tuck away. it's a photograph of her father smiling, alongside her uncle ike and aunt josephine, and two men she doesn't recognized. one man had the luck of being in the middle, and the photo was crease so many times, his face is now gone. the other man's face is clear as day, but there's nothing that gives away who he is. the only standout is that the man has a mustache, and it curls upward almost like a parenthesis.

fiona keeps that photograph on her, knowing well that her father will never look through the book again. it's hiding away for a reason, like another photograph that is of her family at lake lachrymose. fiona would like to give the photo to kit in hopes the woman would identity the unknown men, but kit was soon assigned to libraries, taxis, and the hotel denouement.

fiona never told anyone about the photo. not even as the baudelaires came aboard the queequeg, fiona couldn't find it in herself to tell her third cousins of it. third cousins who didn't know of her existence until now, and of her father. and fiona isn't shock that aunt josephine never talked about her extended family (uncle ike and aunt josephine stop communicating with her father when fiona was a toddler, for reasons she still doesn't understand).

fiona kept it to herself as they were in the grotto, discussing a letter by kit to her father, who is now confirm a scientist, and not a submarine captain at all. fiona kept it to herself as the children came back aboard to an empty submarine, with only a note from her father, her stepfather, that he must depart on a vfd escort mission, entrusting fiona to be the new captain.

fiona kept it to herself as she struggles between trying to get the queequeg moving or to go find a cure for sunny, who when inside the grotto, got infected by the mycelium. fiona kept the photograph hidden as she and the baudelaires were thrown into the brig by count olaf, and as fiona reunited with her brother. fiona didn't dare show fernald the photo right then and there, even after learning of the deceased captain widdershins, the true owner of the queequeg who fernald was blame for killing upon setting the anwhistle aquatic fire, even though fernald wasn't there at all.

everything she learned in the brig was too much to show the photo. fiona eventually showed the photo to the baudelaires, after they showed her the photo of her family. seeing that photo had fiona snapping, telling them that her stepfather never cared about her and her brother, that he was never happy with her, that he was happy when single, when the true captain of the queequeg was alive.

and showing the photo at last to the baudelaires gave a reaction fiona wasn't expecting. the baudelaires told her the man in the photograph, the one with the mustache, is still alive. that his name is veasna heng, and that he's in a self-sustaining hot air mobile home with hector, the village of fowl devotee's handyman, taking care of duncan and isadora quagmire.

hearing those words gave fiona pause. it was a pause that granted the baudelaires the chance to convince fiona to let them go, as well as giving her the fungus inside sunny's helmet. and fiona agreed, thanking them for everything, the good and the bad.

fiona, upon reuniting with fernald, shows him the photograph, and what the baudelaires told her. and with a smile on his face, fernald asked her if she would be okay with a change of plan; instead of finding gregor, they should find the man in the photo, widdershins.

and fiona, without any hesitation, agrees to the change. while the change plan still oddly enough, lead to them finding gregor, it was not him who they ran towards though.

they instead ran towards widdershins.

(funny thing is, fiona feel it's how it's supposed to be)

[afterthegreatunknown]

asoue au where gregor anwhistle is alive and the stepfather of fernald and fiona, part one:

in a ripple effect that can't be explain, the mother of fernald and fiona -frigga- still in the process of a divorce with her husband thursday, despite it seemingly confirming the so-call rumor she cheated on thursday with gregor and said rumor ruined her marriage, frigga decides to go after gregor.

gregor is a handsome man that while not frigga's personal taste, is still eye-catching. and gregor is an intelligent man she gets along with well, as work associates and regular associate. and her children (well, fernald at least) knows him, as well as like him. or at least has no complaints with him.

of course, the problem at hand is that frigga doesn't know if gregor thinks of her other than a work associate. so it surprises her when gregor agrees to go on a date with her one afternoon, and then another a few days later in the evening.

it was the second date that has frigga finally popping the question of them becoming a couple. gregor agrees with no hesitation.

gregor, despite having feelings for a certain no hesitating submarine captain, knows that his feelings will never be return. gregor knows that widdershins doesn't and will never, see him in a romantic light.

so gregor figures, if he has to spend the rest of his life with someone, frigga would do. she's someone who his mother would approve of, ignoring the small age difference. and frigga is someone he does gets along with well, as a work associate and as a regular associate.

with frigga and thursday's divorce finally settled, frigga and gregor go on several more dates, before deciding to get marry. it was in the papers, for the anwhistle name is quite well-known, and it is a family in the organization that is old and such has lots of respect.

and such respect has the organization willingly to be more accepting of the volatile fungus deportation project. it was a project that had a couple of great intelligent working on that is thought of to be grand. it would the thing that ends the schism once and for all!

but it didn't. it instead created a schism within a schism. some of gregor and frigga's associates thought it dangerous. that the couple was playing with fire, and would destroy everything.

associates like kit snicket. associates like widdershins.

kit and widdershins and others of gregor's generation came together, and agree that the anwhistle couple must be stop. after a long time planing, with the help from one of gregor's brother who was going to be leaving the city and relocated to a village in the hinterlands, widdershins and another associate was able to sneak into anwhistle aquatic late one night, ready to destroy the fungus.

said other associate was a vfd superior of frigga's generation: ishmael. kit and widdershins and everyone else in the know were wary of his presence. he was vocal about his his dislike for the volatile fungus deportation project, but never he tried to go persuading his associates to turn against the idea.

still, having one associate of frigga's generation gave the group the confidence they need to sneak into anwhistle aquatic.

but gregor and frigga knew of the plan. or at least, suspected it. gregor's other brother and his wife, while disagreeing with the idea of the mycelium, didn't like the idea of losing family, especially in a violent matter. they told gregor about the possibility of someone going after him and his wife, and told them to be careful.

gregor and frigga didn't want to lose their lives' work, especially to those they thought they could trust. such perspective betrayal had the confrontation between the four ending in fire and death.

ishmael barely escaped with his life due to finding the one working bathyscaphe that the marine research center and rhetorical advice service had. not before setting a fire without mercy, wanting to spite gregor for what he had done, to the organization, and himself.

gregor escaped the fire by stealing the queequeg, crying his eyes out for the betrayal and lost of the one person he truly loved. while never having proper submarine training, he did had a few lessons underneath his belt due to widdershins' teaching him.

frigga was injured by ishmael via gunshots, for ishmael brought a revolver. the blood loss had her dying before the fire. but she would have perished in the fire anyway if she wasn't shot, risking her life to save her research, forgetting about her children at home.

as for widdershins, gregor in the confrontation grabbed a sample of an prototype fungus on his desk, and shoved it into widdershins' mouth, forcing the man to swallow it. then, gregor pushed him out the top window. if the fall didn't kill widdershins, the mycelium did.

despite having a surname that is associated with being unlucky, widdershins got all the luck in the world that night.

gregor's brother hector, the one who helped kit and widdershins and others, had a feeling something would go wrong. on the night he was suppose to leave, hector instead stole a boat, and went to anwhistle aquatic, just in time to see the flames engulfing the center in the early morning. in the distance, he sees a floating body.

the body floating by, is widdershins. hector rushes to bring the man aboard, and in his horror, sees widdershins is infected not just by the fungus, but the prototype, which is more volatile. it's growing out of his mouth, trying to take over his entire body.

it's a lucky thing that hector came prepare with a jar of grated horseradish. hector was able to cure widdershins of the prototype, though he now has 'scars' on his neck, his chest and stomach, and almost all of his left arm.

hector eventually does as he was told. he relocate to the village of fowl devotee, and he takes widdershins. hector asked widdershins upon their return back to hector's soon-to-be-former apartment, if he wants to leave with him, and widdershins agrees with no hesitation. he feels no loyalty and love to the organization that saved him, even to the man he calls father. the two go to the village, after some careful paper work that has widdershins going back to his biological name. widdershins is no longer v. widdershins.

widdershins is now back to veasna heng. most people refer to him as heng, for they can't pronounce his first name. well, except hector. and hector has the honor of still being able to call widdershins 'widdershins', at least when alone together. hector had fears the other man wouldn't like to be call by his old surname, but widdershins told hector that he can be the exception.

the village had initial objections to hector bringing in an outsider they weren't inform of, but they accepted the outsider after they got him on the platform, and questioned him nonstop to learn anything about him. hector was quite worry the elders would reject widdershins, or that widdershins would get himself into trouble and burn at stake.

with the elders accepting widdershins, hector can finally take his place as the handyman, with widdershins as his assistant.

hector quite likes living far away from the city, and the ocean. most importantly, hector likes having the company of widdershins. with widdershins around, hector has something to talk to, to vent to. hector realizes that he has someone to comfort him when thinking of past that has hector feeling close to tears. having widdershins around has hector realizing his dream of living in his self-sustaining hot air mobile home would be incomplete without company.

widdershins dislikes the hinterlands, for it's far from his element of the water, and it rarely rains. when it rains, it's short or too long and muddy. being around hector though, widdershins can forget his element, and the pain it caused. widdershins feels while not a different person, feels better than he had in years. being around hector has widdershins realizing that there's more to life than he once thought, and that he doesn't want it to disappear.

one day hector does a grand proposal; if hector has to spend his life with one person, it would be widdershins, flaws and all.

and widdershins didn't hesitate to say yes; if widdershins has to spend his life with one person, it would be hector, faults and all.

with their decision made, the two soon spend their days repairing and taking care of the village, as well as building the self-sustaining hot air mobile home, ready to escape and be free of the past, ready to start a new life together.

at least until three orphans decided that the village of fowl devotee be their new home. at least until another familiar face shows up, with hector and widdershins doing their best to defend the three children who were accused of killing said familiar face, and failing.

hector and widdershins realize as they escape the village with duncan and isadora quagmire, force to leave the baudelaires on land, that they can't escape the vfd. they see it's catching up to with them, and it reveals itself at open sea where it all began.

(it's always the ocean.)

[afterthegreatunknown]

Widdershins Gets Inadvertently Insulted, and Semi-Reveals his Feelings

Welcome to the fourth ‘chapter’ of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired by the Six Baudelaire AU by unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this AU, the Book!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. This 'chapter'...it's a lot.

Off-screen: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny after telling Mr. Poe they’re not going with him, hitchhiked their way to Paltryville, due to the mystery of a now-gone group photo and newspaper headline. They soon get illegally adopted by Sir to work at Lucky Smells Lumbermill. Olaf as such spends two weeks trying to find the Baudelaires, for Mr. Poe lost tabs on them. During the second week, Mr. Poe hears rumors about the children being at a melon mill, and he and his sister Eleanora go investigate it.

Of course, the Melon Mill no longer stands. But Olaf has an idea where the Baudelaires could be at, and gets confirmation after asking Madame Lulu at Caligari Carnival. Fernald isn’t happy to drive Olaf to the middle of nowhere that is the Hinterlands. He’s even less happy to be at Caligari Carnival, for reasons...

Because I'm still unable to make 'align center’, as well as proper breaks in HTML in the new editor, when you see [] brackets with ramblings inside them, it’s indicating a section change.

Fernald: “God! To think this place is still such an utter dump! I heard stories from my stepfather—well, I heard it was the tourist destination to go to back in the day.”

Madame Lulu, gesturing to their surroundings: “Madame Lulu is trying to get help as she can, yes. Very hard though to get money to fix things up. The House of Freaks generate entertainment, but not enough that audience give enough money in my pocket.”

(Olivia Caliban, mentally thinking: “I think it would better to get the rides working again. And games booths. And better refreshment. And acts. I think maybe forcing people who are oddly considered freaks by society’s standards is losing their charm at last.”)

Hugo, Colette, and Kevin, all sticking their heads out from their caravan, for they’re a bunch of eavesdroppers: “We’re trying the best we can as freaks, Madame Lulu!

Kevin, noticing Fernald, and smiles: “Hey! Nice to see you again Hooky! I-we haven’t seen you in a while! Are you alright? You sound sort of tense.”

Fernald, waving hook: “I’m fine. Thank you. I hope you three have a semi-decent day.” *turning to Madame Lulu* “Seriously. Do you ever plan on fixing up this place?”

Madame Lulu: “Fixing not in carnival’s future, yes. At least not now.”

With Olaf getting confirmation from Madame Lulu the Baudelaires are in Paltryville, he takes Seller as the associate, for Seller is only one who can handle Dr. Orwell’s personality. Seller and Olaf disappear for a full month, with disguises packed by Verne for them to be Foreman Flacutono and Shirley the Secretary, which came from the V.F.D. kit. Except for the Flacutono wig; Verne hates the V.F.D. wig enough to buy his own. That leaves Harper, Penny, Lucy, Verne, and Fernald back in the City.

Nothing happens for a full month. At the start of the next month, Seller calls the house, and orders Verne to take a train and/or steal a car to get to Paltryville. Seller for once, thinks Olaf is in over his head, and concern that something bad may happened at Lucky Smells Lumbermill. Verne arrives just in time too.

Violet was able to save break Klaus free of his hypnotism after playing the researcher. Klaus was able invent something to save Charles from getting murdered. Sunny had her buck-wild sword fight with Dr. Orwell with her teeth (the wildest thing to ever happen).

And Dr. Orwell falls to her death. Well! Looks like Seller was right!

With Olaf soon getting expose from his secretary act, and Seller dropping his foreman act alongside the wig, the two high-tail the hell out of the mill before Mr. Poe, his sister, and the authorities arrived. Verne in his stole car is waiting outside the fence, and frowns upon seeing Seller and the lack of wig on his head.

Verne: “Do you know how difficult to find such a decent looking wig without a shine?! Do you also know how time consuming it is to get a shine out of a wig!? God! I should have given you the shitty V.F.D. wig had I know you would carelessly throw a wig away!” Seller: “You can buy a decent looking wig without a shine or the materials to get a shine out a wig at a reasonable price, Nemo! Why not bitch about your nephew’s wooden hands!? They’re the one that take up a lot of money!” Olaf, patience wears thin: “As much as I enjoy watching a good conflict, WE STILL NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Nemo, start driving to the train station!”

Meanwhile, while this is going on —near the end of events—Tegan officially joins the Queequeg as the second member of the Crew of Two. It would have been a great occasion, if it wasn’t for the fact that day is also Fiona’s fifteenth birthday. Fiona isn’t that upset her birthday was a bit overshadowed by Tegan’s arrival, and doesn’t cry at her party. Fiona finds some positive from Tegan’s joining the Queequeg.

Fiona: “She may not be a mycologist, but Tegan does know fungi. It’ll be nice to have someone around with a similar interest. I just hope we’ll have the chance to discuss it though. With the way everything is, well as Tegan’s new-found professionalism, the chances of that seem very slim.”

As Ephraim departs from the Queequeg to go out on his mission, Ephraim gives Fiona and Widdershins parting gifts. For Fiona, it’s her birthday present: a copy of The Mysterious Island. For Widdershins, it’s a reminder of “the greatest chance you would never get normally.” It’s a painting of Ephraim himself. Tegan covered her face in embarrassment over the gift (rightfully so because WHAT IS THIS GIFT).

Widdershins: “…This is a fine gift, sir.” (Mentally though, Widdershins is all, “FUCK THIS PAINTING AGAIN?”) Fiona: “I agree with my stepfather. It’s a very fine painting.” (Mentally though, Fiona is all, “And once again, Step-Grandfather has no idea what actually constitutes as a good gift.”)

Returning back to Olaf and the Acting Troupe, they lay low for a week. The Baudelaires find themselves having a happy time at Prufrock Prep. It’s not because the academy is a wonderful place itself, but because they finally have friends in the form of Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. However, such happiness doesn’t last long.

Olaf, after getting around round of help from Madame Lulu (for ‘Orphans off to a boarding school’ is too vague of hint, as well as it surprisingly refers to other orphans), takes Penny and Lucy as his associates for his newest scheme. However, this time around, he asked the ladies to go on ahead first as cafeteria workers. Olaf is unsure how he can get around the advance computer Vice-Principal Nero programmed roaming outside the school, and wants them to figure out the computer’s flaw.

Two weeks pass. Penny and Lucy call the house and tell Olaf about the flaw. They believe that if he’s in a disguise that hides some particular features—namely his eyebrow— he’ll go undetected. And so, Olaf goes to back to the hell that is Prufrock Prep under the disguise as Coach Genghis, with a new plan in action.

With Coach Genghis around, he makes the Baudelaires run laps at night for the S.O.R.E. program to get them time and get them to fail their class. As such, to help their friends in the realm of research, the Quagmires decide to dig up information about Olaf, as well as something else the Baudelaires requested.

Klaus, unfolding the drawing from Ike’s room that he kept: “I found this in our Aunt Josephine’s husband’s private room.” Duncan, narrowing his eyes, leaning close to the drawing: “That’s an interesting illustration. What it is of?” Violet: “We don’t know. Our Aunt Josephine only told us was that her husband Ike was studying it with a few others within their…friend group, but that’s all.” Isadora: “It must be something dangerous, private, or both if she kept quiet on it.” Sunny: “Senildeah!” (“What about the headlines!?”) Klaus, turning to Sunny: “That’s right! I nearly forgotten about those! Thank you, Sunny!” *turning back to the Quagmires * “In Ike’s private room, there was a newspaper headline about The Thistle of the Valley accident. Our time in Paltryville didn’t tell us anything about it. We only learned more about parents and their…friend group.” Duncan, pulling out his commonplace book and pencil, writing things down: “Paltryville, The Thistle of the Valley…” *looking up, smiling* “It’s still not a lot to go on, but it should be enough to find basic information, even if it’s unfortunately wrong.” Violet, smiling: “Thank you. I know it might be a mystery that won’t get solve completely, we’re grateful that you’re helping us.” Isadora, smiling: “We’re friends, and that is what friends are for.” Sunny, grinning, clasping hands together: “Daw…” (“Daw…”)

Meanwhile, back in the City and in Olaf’s house, Seller and Fernald are at each other throats, and Verne and Harper are playing card games that isn’t Roland’s Folly. The closest things to interesting is Harper getting updates regarding Gustav’s corpse and Monty’s house. Gustav’s body was found floating down from Swarthy Swamp to a river that leads to Lake Lachrymose, and that Monty’s place got mysteriously burned down, with rumors of two arsonists in odd get-up having set the place on fire.

Actually, Monty’s place getting burn happens right after Olaf enacted his plan to kidnap the Baudelaires after they get expelled from Prufrock Prep. Olaf orders the remaining troupe to pick them up. Verne and Fernald have one car to drive Penny and Lucy and the kidnapped children, while Seller and Harper have the other car to drive Olaf himself, because he at the moment, doesn’t want to share the vehicle as them.

But there’s a small change of plan regarding the kidnapping.

Duncan and Isadora, having disguised themselves as the Baudelaires (with Sunny being played by a sack of flour), get themselves kidnapped. Near sunrise, the Quagmires make their escape, but fail to see ‘Sunny’ was left behind. Lucy, having watching in the shadows alongside her sister, panicked, and ran onto the field.

Lucy: “Is the baby sick! IS THE BABY SICK? WHY DIDN’T YOU GO WITH YOUR SIBLINGS, BABY?” *The bag of flour flops over, and Lucy screams* Penny, joining her sister: “…That’s flour. That’s a bag of flour! Why would Violet and Klaus not have their sister running tonight alongside them?” Olaf, joining them as well, connecting the dots on why Violet and Klaus were oddly the same height, unlike all the other nights: “…Those annoying orphans brats. Ladies, go after the two Quagmires!” Penny and Lucy, confused: “The Quagmires?” Olaf: “Yes, the Quagmires! They were pretending to be the Baudelaire Brats the whole time! Like I said before! Go after them! I have a feeling they’ll be useful to us!”

Verne and Fernald as such, get a surprise when driving away from Prufrock Prep.

[A Kidnapping in the Happening!]

“You got to be kidding me! You two got the Quagmires Triplets?!” Fernald continued to look back behind the front passenger seat, not giving a damn that he’s unbuckled, because fuck car safety at the moment.

“Triplets?” asked Lucy, trying her best to keep Duncan from moving around. “There’s two of them though! The newspaper said they’re twins!

“Just because there’s two of us doesn’t mean we’re twins, lady!” shouted Isadora Quagmire, struggling against Penny’s tight grasp on her. “Our brother’s death in the fire doesn’t change a thing about our birth!”

“You lost your brother in a—OW! I got bit! How rude!” Lucy’s winced, and loosened her grip on Duncan Quagmire. Duncan as such, started to kick against the back side-passenger door in a rhythmic pattern.

“FUCK YOU ALL!” yelled Duncan at the top of his voice. “FUCK! YOU! ALL! YOU HEAR ME? YOU HEAR ME!?”

“Don’t you go breaking the door, brat!” growled Uncle Verne. “God, talk about having a hell of a drive back! Why do you have the Quagmires!?”

“A ruse is what happened!” Penny struggled to keep Isadora still, while trying to grab the burlap sacks from the backseat pocket to throw onto the Quagmires faces. “These two tricked us by pretending to be the Baudelaires! The boy was Klaus, the girl was Violet, and a bag of flour was the baby! How stupid that last one is!”

“Oh, fuck off with your stupid-ass complaints and insults about us!” Duncan continued to kick the door, and then glared at Uncle Verne. The glare had Fernald wondering what the Quagmires discovered about V.F.D. exactly. “You’re a bunch of miserable, selfish, assholes ruining other people’s lives without a damn over something stupid!”

“I agree with my older brother!” exclaimed Isadora. “You’re doing this all willing too! How do you live with yourselves! Don’t you care what others might think! Like your family?!”

“Shush, annoying little girl!” sneered Penny, managing to cover Isadora’s face with the burlap sack. “Now stay quiet, or else I’ll do something you’ll wish never happened to you. Unless you want me to do it your older brother! He bit my little sister, after all!”

Isadora did that, but it doesn’t stop her from moving around in the backseat anyway. Duncan meanwhile, continued to curse like a sailor at the top of his lungs. Well, at least until Lucy stuffed the burlap sack into his mouth. Fernald had to give up his jacket to Penny to cover the brat’s eyes.

[Must Be HELL of a Ride Back...]

Meanwhile, back at on the submarine Queequeg, V.F.D. finally got to Widdershins’ request for another crewmember, for Phil joins as the cook. Because Tegan is the unofficially part of the Crew of Two, Phil is delegated as an additional member; the chef.

With Tegan around, Fiona either helps Phil in the kitchen, or assists her stepfather and Tegan on reading charts and maps and submarine repairs. Fiona only has enough idle time to read The Mysterious Island. Fiona has yet read her stepfather’s birthday present, for it’s still in its wrapping.

(It’s a surprise tool that will help later.)

Tegan is doing a great job of being part of the Crew of Two. She keeps the Queequeg in almost near perfect condition, and almost always shadows Widdershins. Widdershins doesn’t mind her tailing, at first. He slowly grows irritated as Tegan unknowingly insults him. Widdershins wouldn’t mind the insults (for he’s quite use to insults) if Tegan didn’t compare him Ephraim while doing so. Tegan is harsh on Widdershins for not going back to land to restock on supplies so quickly, unlike Ephraim’s supplies runs. Tegan complaints to Widdershins on switching back and forth between subject matters, for Ephraim focuses on one thing at a time.

One day, Widdershins and Teagan were walking to a trolley stop with bulk of groceries in boxes, for they went on a supply run. There at the stop, is a thirteen-year-old boy with dark hair and dark wearing a backpack, holding a folded map in his hands. The boy has a mask covering the lower half of his face, like he has a cold and doesn’t want to spread germs. The boy eventually starts a conversation with them.

Thirteen-year-old Boy, muffled voice: “You got a lot of groceries for just two people.” Widdershins: “We’re actually carrying groceries for four people! Aye!” Tegan: “Eight people really, given we’re stocking up for supplies.” Thirteen-year-old Boy: “Stocking up?” Tegan: “Aye. It’ll be a while before we can go get groceries again, so we’re preparing.” Thirteen-year-old Boy: “Ah.” *nodding head, tilts head to side* “Thank explains why you have everything in bulk. Odd to see you don’t have small snacks in bulk.” Widdershins: “None at all! But we do have crackers!” *Widdershins sets the boxes he’s carrying down, and takes the top box off, setting it onto the ground. He then pulls out a rather large box of circular, salted crackers* “We got it for free, and while I like snacking on crackers, I don’t like this particular brand! Aye! Would you like to have them?” Tegan: “Are you—” *rolling eyes* “I can’t believe you’re doing this right now!” Thirteen-year-old Boy, tying his best to not laugh: “I was always told by my parents that I’m not supposed to take food from people I don’t know…” *stomach growls* “…but given my personal circumstances, I think I’ll make this the sole exception.”

The thirteen-year-old boy takes the box of crackers just as the trolley arrives. The boy goes onto the trolley, while two people get off the trolley. The boy takes a seat near the window, and waves goodbye at them, with Widdershins and Tegan waving also.

(Widdershins and Tegan will not know that they interacted with Quigley Quagmire until a dispatch got sent to them a week later when on the Queequeg:

Fiona, looking up from her charts: “Stepfather! Tegan! We got a telegram!” Widdershins, running down the spiral stairs: “Here I thought it wasn’t working!” Tegan, sliding down the pole: “Who send it to us, Niece Fiona?” Fiona, looking at telegram: “It’s from Quigley Quagmire.” Widdershins and Tegan: “What?” *Everyone looks at the dispatch* Dispatch: Captain Widdershins, I know this isn’t how one must use the Volunteer Factual Dispatch, but I must thank you STOP. The crackers you gave me lasted me a good while STOP. I am unsure when I’ll communicate with you again, but just know I heading towards the Mortmain Mountains for personal reasons, as well as related to the organization. Hopefully we will communicate with one another in the future STOP.”)

The two people that got off the trolley are real estate agents. One of them opened up their umbrella due to the sun, and they begin talking. There, Widdershins and Tegan hear that Monty’s home is gone, due to a fire of unknown origins. The land is now up for sale as potential retail development.

Widdershins was ready to stand up and ask them question as a random, curious citizen, but for the first time in years, he hesitates, and keeps quiet. This has Tegan going on yet another comparison, after they return to the Queequeg (Fiona is in the makeshift library, while Phil is out in the main control room looking out the port window).

[~If you say it like that, it must mean that you hate me~]

“Why did you stay silent, V? Remember our old man’s philosophy!” Tegan’s voice was close behind him, yet seemed so far away. “He —or she— who hesitates is lost!”

“I know that, Tegan.” Widdershins gripped the bottom box tightly as he tried to set the boxes onto the table. “I can’t forget such a philosophy, even if I wanted too. Aye, I had it drill into me longer than you.”

“Why did you hesitate then? Aye! You could have asked them more about it as a random, curious citizen. I think they wouldn’t have mind that!”

“I could, but I didn’t, aye.” Widdershins inhaled, and then exhaled. It’s all just a matter of keeping it under control. He can do this. He can do this. Widdershins took the first box off, and then the second box.

“That still doesn’t answer my question. Why didn’t you ask, V? Aye! If Stepfather was here, he would have asked them for sure!” Tegan’s voice goes slightly higher, as well as defensive. “Stepfather would have asked nonchalantly without a second thought! Aye! Stepfather would have successfully gotten more information! Having so many years of experience, our old man’s actions unlike yours—”

“Are correct! Aye! Are ideal! Aye! Are what the organization wants in a true volunteer! Captain Ephraim B. Widdershins does everything right, and everything I do is wrong!” Widdershins spun around on his heels, and gave a cold, stern glare at her.

Tegan, still carrying one the boxes, stared at him with her brown eyes. Her eyes blinking fast behind her triangle glasses, and her lower lips quivers. “V…”

“Is everything okay? I heard loud voices!” Phil’s voice called out from the outside.

Widdershins stared at Tegan, and then closed his eyes. He knew he fucked up big time. He had to apology, not just to appease his old man, wherever he is right now.

“I’m sorry.” Tegan’s voice was small.

Widdershins reopened his eyes, and stared at Tegan, and shook his head. He then took a step towards her.

Tegan took a step back, still with the box in her hand. The way Tegan was acting now, Widdershins was reminded of that day so long ago. Tegan was six, thinking him as a ghost from her past haunting them. He can’t blame Tegan for acting like this now.

The two of them didn’t speak for a bit. But Tegan eventually, took a step closer to him. Widdershins carefully took the box from Tegan’s hands.

“Don’t apologize, Tegan,” said Widdershins. “You didn’t know how I felt, because I didn’t tell you. Aye, so don’t go feeling guilty over something you didn’t know of.”

Tegan remained quiet, but she did nod her head.

“To tell you the truth about all of this,” continued Widdershins, “I’m doing this in the perspective of an outsider. As an outsider, Captain Ephraim B. Widdershins is a great submarine captain. He’s a well-respected volunteer in the organization. His stepdaughter as such deserves the best chaperone. Instead, you got stuck with—”

Widdershins couldn’t help but pause mid-way. Insulting himself would make Tegan feel worse, no doubt. Widdershins just sighed, as he placed the box onto the table.

“Tegan, I’m fine with you disrespecting me as your brother. Stepbrother,” said Widdershins. “As your chaperone though, I insist you accept and respect what I do, and do exactly as I say. And I said it was best we didn’t engage in conversation.”

Tegan once again, nodded head. In a quiet voice, she replied, “Okay.”

[~No! I don't hate you at all~]

Despite all the bickering and unknowing comparisons, there is one good thing going between Widdershins and Tegan. And that, is calling Phil “Cookie” for no apparent reason. Widdershins started it first, and Tegan jumped onto it. It drives Fiona off the walls to where she told them over dinner one night, with the meal being some sort of fish, vegetable, and cheese casserole (it’s not as bad as it could be, too).

Fiona, passing the black pepper to her stepfather: “It’s just impolite! It’s more polite to call someone by their proper name!” Widdershins, dumping black pepper over the casserole Phil made for diner: “Maybe so! Aye! But I have yet heard Cookie complain about it!” Tegan, drinking some lemonade, for they can’t have the lemon-lime soda: “He clearly likes the nickname. *turns to Phil* “Isn’t that right, Cookie?” Phil, *serving himself casserole, smiling*: “I do like it! I don’t mind the nickname at all. I always wanted a nickname when I was a kid! Cookie is a very nice nickname to have!” Fiona, doing an expression that is similar to the well-known scrunch-up Kermit face: “Well, alright then. I’m just surprise that you two when in a blue moon, are scarily so much alike. And this is considering how you are the opposite of one another.” Tegan, nearly choking on her lemonade, having feeling insulted: “Scarily alike? Niece Fiona, understand that comment is just uncalled for! He may not look it, but know at times he’s an empty head with no thoughts.” Widdershins, setting the black pepper down: “That means you too, can be an empty head with no thoughts.” Tegan: “…” *Pushes Widdershins off his chair* Widdershins, from the floor: “Hey!” Tegan, smirking as she swaps their plates: “It’s mine now, V.” Phil, still smiling: “Ah, siblings bonding. How wonderful!”

[afterthegreatunknown]

Tegan is Seventeen, But is No Dancing Queen

Hi! Welcome to the fourth 'chapter' of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired by the Six Baudelaire AU by unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this AU, the Book!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. This 'chapter' finally introduces the rest of the Widdershins Family that are the two Captain Widdershins and their respective stepdaughters.

But before getting to them, let's focus on others. After surviving Hurricane Herman, the Baudelaires evade the authorities that is Mr. Poe and the police, making it to Captain Sham’s Sailboat Rental. Violet stakes out the area, and sees none of Olaf’s associates.

She then goes on her tiptoes to look through the window. There she sees a set of keys hanging on the wall, with no one around. The siblings then sneak in, and they steal the keys, with Klaus opening up the shack where all the boats are locked up, so they can steal a boat to go rescue their Aunt Josephine.

Unknown to the Baudelaires, that was the main room. There is now a makeshift back room. Verne and Harper —the accomplices this time— are inside there playing Roland’s Folly, which is like Bullshit and Go Fish, blind to everything above.

By the way, due to being unable to make 'align center', as well as proper breaks in HTML in the new editor, when you see [] brackets with ramblings inside them, it's indicating a section change.

“I can’t believe I lost again,” said Harper, throwing their remaining cards onto the pile. Harper then tossed their third-favorite scarf in Verne’s direction. Soon, they collected the card pile, and neatly put them back into a stack to reshuffle them. “Next time you ask me to play Roland’s Folly, know I’ll say no.”

“You’re just a sore loser,” said Verne, setting the scarf down beside him.

“Maybe so. But your constant asking of me and the others to play this game —not to mention other things— has me wondering if you’re bored of being part of the troupe” Harper then placed one card in the middle facing upward; it’s the Joker card. “Are you bored of the troupe? I can’t recall the last time you took joy in making costumes.”

Verne said nothing as Harper dealt him six cards, and then themself six cards, before placing the deck of cards downward in the middle beside the upright facing card. Then, Verne said, “I wouldn’t say I’m bored. I’m just…not satisfy with my career choice anymore. Sure, it was fun at the beginning, but now it feels like a drag. And now, with the boss making us do his schemes on top of being a troupe…I’m feeling slightly tired.”

“Then why don’t you leave?” asked Harper. “Olaf had plenty of troupe members leaving. I don’t think he would care if you split, provided you do it at night and leave a note.”

“Now that, I can’t do. Isn’t it obvious? I’m staying for someone who’s important to me.”

“Sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of another, that’s nice.” Harper briefly smiled as they picked up their cards. The smile soon vanished in seconds, and they quickly drop their cards, slamming their hands onto the table.

“You’re staying for Olaf!?” Harper’s eyes are wide and bug-like.

Verne sputtered nonsense of words before finally getting out, “What?! No!!!”

[Netflix ASOUE's decision to give Fernald a crush on Olaf is still something I go '???' at to this day.]

Neither of them realizes the Baudelaires took the keys in the main room until Harper leaves mid-way in the third round, returning back in a panic to see the key is missing. The two go outside, and discover the shack’s lock is on the ground, as well as a boat being missing. Verne informs Captain Sham, and get ordered to get the getaway car ready. And Verne and Harper wait in the car, pulling up just in time for Sunny to bite off the peg leg, revealing Captain Sham as Olaf. The three soon zoom away, with the Baudelaires deciding to hitchhike a ride and zoom off elsewhere away from Mr. Poe.

While all the latter half events of The Wide Window are happening —maybe slightly before it— on the Queequeg are Widdershins and Fiona. Fiona is eating sunny-side eggs and rice her stepfather made for breakfast, for he’s playing chef. The organization has yet answered back Widdershins’ request of another crew member. He’s been asking for another crew member for almost two years, since the woman who turned out to be a spy left after impromptu round of hide-and-seek to catch her.

Widdershins is humming a song while doing the dishes, and he just placed the last plate onto the drying rack. He wipes his hands onto one of the nearby towels, and goes back to the control room to check on the radar. He sees everything is fine, and then hears the sound of the Volunteer Factual Dispatch receiving a telegram.

Widdershins is surprised to get one, for lately, he hasn’t been getting them as frequent as before. He suspected the spy had something to do with it, but he’s not sure. He ought to get that checked out by someone who isn’t Fiona. Widdershins as such, was excited to get the dispatch…until he saw the sender’s name: Captain Ephraim Widdershins, captain of the Submarine Nautilus, aka, Father.

Ephraim’s telegram: ‘Pardon the sudden intrusion of your patrol of Lake Lachrymose STOP. As Tegan’s 17th birthday is coming up, I would like it if it would be held on the Submarine Queequeg STOP. Tegan hasn’t seen Fiona —and you— in two years, and I would like to rectify this STOP. It’s good for family to see one another, V, and for family to talk to one another STOP. We’ll see you in roughly eleven hours STOP.’

As with any person who hasn’t seen family in a while, Widdershins takes the news well.

Widdershins, crumples and throws the dispatch away: “...”

Widdershins, storming back into the kitchen: “Fiona! Stop eating breakfast! Stop reading Herman Melville! Stop reading your fungi books! Get out your cleaning bandana! Aye! Get out the very fancy dishes! Your step-grandfather and Tegan are going to have her seventeenth birthday here! Aye! I can’t handle another complain of the Queequeg being a dump in compare to the Nautilus! I just can’t!”

*Widdershins leaves the kitchen to go to a nearby closet, opening it to reveal many cleaning supplies and tools neatly organize. He grabs two tabard cleaning aprons*

Widdershins: “You know how we need to make your step-grandfather and step-aunt comfortable while away from their home.”

Fiona, taking one of the tabard cleaning aprons, and begins to tie it around herself: “But Stepfather, when are they ever comfortable here?”

Widdershins: “Exactly.”

The Queequeg is decently clean before Ephraim and Tegan’s arrival, which allowed Widdershins to make fish fillets with a sauce and greens for dinner, a dessert of rice pudding, and decorations of balloons. When Ephraim and Tegan finally arrived, Widdershins offered his father a handshake. However, Ephraim doesn’t take notice of it (maybe.). He also doesn’t speak to Widdershins, only giving him a nod.

With Fiona guiding her step-grandfather to the control room (and kitchen), Tegan lags behind. She’s the only one to notice of Widdershins’ sniffling. She turns around, and walks backward. Widdershins’ back is turn against her, but Tegan sees/hears her step-brother slapping his face with two hands, and clearing his throat.

Widdershins: “C’mon on now, V. Pull yourself together. Aye. No one needs to see you cry over something so unimportant. Aye, especially when it involves your own father. God only knows what he’ll say to your face again.”

Tegan quickly turns back around, and hears her step-brother’s footsteps following after her. The two have a short, simple discussing about the condition of the Nautilus, for Widdershins is curious on why her birthday party is being held on the Queequeg.

Tegan, shrugging her shoulders: “You know how our old man is, V. He just does what he wants without any hesitation.”

Widdershins: “Aye. I do. I sure do…”

The four soon have diner. Widdershins and Ephraim finish their dinner first, and go the control room for a quiet discussion (and it’s actually quiet to where eavesdropping is impossible). Tegan and Fiona have a discussion on their own at the kitchen table.

[I refuse to give out my headcanon name for Book!Widdershins until I make a proper headcanon post or reveal it in a fanfic.]

Tegan continued to sit across the table from the younger girl in the blue navy uniform and similarly shape triangle glasses. Tegan cleared her throat, and set her fork down on the empty plate. Tegan had been preparing herself for this moment eleven hours ago. Hopefully, unlike V’s first two-years interaction with Stepfather, this will go smoother.

“Niece Fiona,” said Tegan, leaning back against the chair. “I see you grown a few inches since we last saw each other. Aye, you’re now taller than me.”

Fiona —Niece Fiona, Tegan must remember that from now on— blinked a few times, setting down her fork on her own empty plate. Fiona fiddled a bit with her glasses. “Thank you, I think. I see you grew out your hair. It looks really great in a braid.”

“Why, thank you, Niece Fiona. I would have kept my usual curly hair, but I discovered a book of hair styles in the Nautilus’s library.” Tegan found herself pausing, trying to figure out how to keep the conversation up and going. “I thought about doing a double braid, but I like the single braid better. It gives off a more professional look, don’t you think?”

Niece Fiona nodded her head. “It does makes you look professional. Um, what’s with you addressing me as ‘Niece Fiona.’ I mean, yes, I’m your step-niece, but we’re not that far apart in age. There’s no need to use that necessary title.”

“I gave this lots of thought over the last several hours. It’s best if I finally start acting as what I’m truly am to you. I’m not just your associate. I’m your aunt.”

“…Well, you call me what you think it’s right,” answered Niece Fiona. She quickly fiddled with her glasses before speaking again, and stood up from the table. “Just let me continue to you what makes me feel comfortable. If you excuse me, Tegan, I need to inform my stepfather that we’re done with our dinner. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

 “…Very well then, Niece Fiona.” Tegan gave a curt nod, and soon placed her hands on the table. As she watched Fiona walk out the door to the control room, Tegan looked upward at the ceiling, and gave out a weak screech.

“Why did I expected it to go well?”

[Fiona not being 'Niece Fiona' at the end was deliberate.]

Dessert of rice pudding is served, and honestly speaking, it’s something of a drag. Ephraim isn’t please by the news of Widdershins’ lack of dispatches, for Widdershins reveals it upon returning to the table. Ephraim also doesn’t take it well Widdershins gave Fiona the task to figure out what’s wrong it the machine/being the mechanic.

Ephraim, taking a sip of soda: “This is what happens when you spend time on nonpractical matters. All that free time of you studying poetry, you threw away so much potential learning in your apprenticeship. V, as a captain, it’s wise for you to know the ins and outs of mechanics. Your sister is such an excellent machinic, I—”

Tegan, mentally thinking: “FUCK THEY’RE GONNA ARGUE!”

Fiona, mentally thinking: “Please don’t argue, please don’t argue, please don’t argue.”

Widdershins, serving Tegan more pudding: “‘I met a traveler from an antique land/Who said— “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone/Stand in the desert…”

Ephraim: [Beat] “Verse Fluctuation Declaration aside, poetry has no other use.”

Tegan, sighing in relief the tension is temporary pause, excuses herself from the kitchen and goes to the control room. She gives an unexpected shriek, for there’s a floating book through the porthole window. Everyone quickly joined her, and they see more books floating by. Widdershins recognized one as a grammar book, and realized that every book floating by is from Josephine’s library. Widdershins gets into action of getting the Queequeg back to the surface. Tegan quickly assisting him, even though the controls aren’t identical to the Nautilus.

The two saved as much of Josephine’s library as they can, and Ephraim makes mental notes how Widdershins and Tegan —while bickering on how to get the books—are working together, like a little crew of two.

Widdershins: “All I’m saying that this very long tong device will do the job! Aye! It’ll get all the books in its proper condition! Aye! No worry about losing pages!”

Tegan: “I could understand if it’s one, two, or even three books, V. But there are countless of books floating around. Aye, I think in order to save as much as Josephine’s books as possible, this long net is the way to go.”

(Tegan wins the argument after playing Rock-Paper-Scissors, two out of three rounds.)

Ephraim and Fiona are tasked with drying the books that got saved. Fiona is turning on all the fans they have, while Ephraim uses a hair dryer on a low setting. There, he asked Fiona about her stepfather. Specifically, how is he caring for her.

Fiona: “Stepfather is taking care of me more or less well. Just like always, since he regained custody. If you’re curious, last week he wrote me a note about needing to go to the City’s headquarter about his second crewmember problem.”

Ephraim: “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

Fiona: “…I admit, it would be nice to have someone my age or around my age on board. Like Tegan. Yes. Tegan and I back in the day were close. I would like that again.”

After saving much of Josephine’s library, Ephraim and Tegan eventually depart back to the Nautilus. Tegan and Ephraim are in the library together. Tegan is reading a book on an armchair reading a lichen book given to her by Fiona, and taking notes in a new commonplace book (red) given by her step-brother. Ephraim meanwhile, is at his desk doing paperwork, and soon gets a personal Volunteer Factual Dispatch, for Ephraim has two dispatches onboard the Nautilus (the other one is in the main control room).

V.F.D. Telegram: “Ephraim, something urgent has gotten our attention STOP. Several members claim to have seen a creature a group of volunteers were researching on years ago. While you weren’t part of said research group, you’re the only volunteer left alive and present with knowledge of said particular creature STOP. We urge you to volunteer and investigate if the sightings have any truth to them STOP. You must either investigate this solo, or with one additional crew member STOP.

And no STOP. Tegan doesn’t count STOP.”

Ephraim shuddered, thinking over how the last time he saw ‘THAT’ creature, he was with a sixteen-year-old Widdershins, and how they barely escaped with their lives. If it wasn’t for his adopted son’s quick thinking, they would have perished and disappear into the depths of the unknown waters. Ephraim drags his hands down his face, and sighs. He knows his adopted son would be perfect as an additional crew member, but knows he wouldn’t want to leave Fiona. Again.

Ephraim decided it’s best to go solo, and makes his own reply telegram. Tegan meanwhile, notices that her stepfather is acting slightly off, and talks to him.

[I feel Netflix!Fiona if she has a commonplace book, would be red. More of a light red, but red still. And semi-related, but Book!Fiona's commonplace book I headcanon as blue. Like, a sky blue.]

“Stepfather, what’s wrong?” Tegan closed her lichen book, and carefully sets it down on the side table beside her.

“It’s nothing much. It’s just…” Stepfather trailed off, and leaned back against the wooden desk chair. He removed his hat, and set it down onto the desk. “The organization just sent me a personal telegram. Aye. The organization asked me to volunteer for a rescue mission regarding a manatee.”

“Ah. A manatee mission. Got it,” said Tegan slyly, slowly nodding her head, with a small smile. She knew that there’s no manatee in need of rescuing, but knew it’s an important mission. Stepfather just has a weird habit of using manatee for codes. It’s not all bad. Stepfather always took her on these sorts of missions.

“Unfortunately, I have to do the mission by myself.”

“A solo mission? Why it is a solo mission? Is there something different has needs me to stay behind? Do you have no choice on leaving me?” Teagan stopped smiling, and continued to sit at the edge of her seat, for something just occurred to her. “You’re not going to leave me alone in the City at the family’s penthouse, are you? I can’t—”

“Calm down, Tegan. You’re not going on the mission, but this is giving us the opportunity we been waiting for,” said Stepfather. “Aye, after seeing you today out at Lake Lachrymose, I think it’s time for you to finally become an apprentice.”

Teagan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Really?! I’m starting my apprenticeship!? I didn’t think there’s a lichenologist left in the City who—” And here Teagan stopped talking. No lichenologist left in the City meant one thing. “You mean my captain apprenticeship. That’s…well, at least I’m starting my apprenticeship.”

“I’m glad you’re taking it well,” said Stepfather, as he started pressing away on his personal Volunteer Factual Dispatch. “Now, let me inform headquarters of the development, and make the proper arrangement with V.”

“…You want V to be my chaperone!?” exclaimed Tegan. “Stepfather, I know he’s family and a captain with years of experience, but believe me when I say this idea will completely backfire! V has enough problems trying to find a second crew member!”

“Exactly.”

[afterthegreatunknown]

An Unexpected Interlude at Aunt Josephine's House

Hello! Welcome to the third 'chapter' of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired by the Six Baudelaires AU by tumblr user unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this AU, the Book!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. This 'chapter' is as the title gives away, an interlude at Aunt Josephine's house.

While Violet, Klaus, and Sunny aren't the main focus of the AU, they are still important characters to the narrative. They're just having their own canonical misadventures off-screen. That said, this chapter is 100% all on them, because I legit wanted to write this particular part of TWW for the AU due to...reasons, that may or may not be related to a minor subplot of sorts that should come into play by TGG.

“Aunt Josephine! We’re back!” called out Violet, shutting the door close.

The house soon began the shake not long after Violet spoke. However, it wasn’t a violent shake that could send things crashing to the floor, or break windows.

Violet turned to Klaus, who was carrying Sunny in his arms. The two older siblings gave each other the same worrying look. The walk back to the house after grocery shopping (something their Aunt Josephine asked them to do to get them out of the house to be on her date with Count Olaf, under the disguise of Captain Sham) unlike their non-windy walk there, was not just windy, but bringing in grey storm clouds from the distance.

What had the two older Baudelaires worried was not just the incoming storm of Hurricane Herman. It was also the fact that their Aunt Josephine didn’t respond.

“Aunt Jo?” asked Violet, setting the groceries onto the kitchen table.

“Aunt Josephine?” Klaus careful set down Sunny, keeping a firm grip on her tiny hand.

“Ent Jo?” cried Sunny, which was her way of saying, “Aunt Jo?”

There was still no response.

Violet called out once again. “Aunt Jo? Are you here?”

Klaus took a sharp breath in. “Do you think it’s possible that…Count Olaf got to her?”

Violet didn’t response. All she does was stare at the double doors in front of them. The doors led to the other side of the house. And that included their Aunt Josephine’s grammar library, which had a grand wide window overlooking all of Lake Lachrymose.

The Baudelaires didn’t dare to speak as Violet pushed the double door open.

There from the doorway, was the other half of the house. The double doors to the library were open, and there from the distant they saw the wide window, shattered in the middle, as if someone was standing there, and they were pushed out of it.

“Oh no,” said Violet, as she and her siblings approached the broken window. “We’re too late. We came back too late…”

Violet did her best to hold back a sob. However, Violet couldn’t help herself but rub the back of her coat sleeve over her eyes. Sunny stood there, looking upward at Violet, before turning her attention to Klaus.

Klaus was focused on the chains that drew open the metal shutters of the window. There on the chain, was a hand-written note. Klaus tapped Violet’s shoulder, and pointed to the nearby note. The three children walked to the note, and Klaus quickly pulled it off from whatever it kept it attach to the chain itself.

“Violet, Klaus, and Sunny,” read Klaus. “It’s for us. From Aunt Josephine.”

“‘By the time you read this note’,” continued Klaus, “‘my life will be at it's end. My heart is as cold as Ike, and I find life inbearable.’ I-T-apostrophe-S? Inbearable?”

“Go on,” said Violet.

Klaus gave an uncertain look at Violet, but he nodded his head, agreeing to his sister’s order. “‘I know your children may not understand the sad life of a dowadger, or what would have leadled me to this desperate akt.’ …Dowager has one ‘d’, leadled isn’t a word, and act is spell with a ‘c’.”

“Does it matter?” asked Violet. “Keep going.”

“‘As my last will and testament, I leave you in the care of Captain Sham, a kind and honorable men. Please think of me kindly even though I’d done this terrible thing. Your Aunt Josephine.’ Violet, something is funny about this note,” said Klaus. “Funny as in wrong. I-T-apostrophe-S stands for “it is.” She meant to write I-T-S.”

“Why are you focusing on Aunt Jo’s errors?” asked Violet.

“Aunt Josephine told us her greatest joy in life was grammar,” said Klaus. “She cared so much for grammar, there’s no way she would be making all these mistakes.”

“…Unless Count Olaf wrote the note instead,” suggested Violet.

“Do you still have Aunt Josephine’s list of groceries?” asked Klaus.

Violet quickly dug into her coat pocket. She felt the folded-up list of paper, alongside the plastic bag holding the peppermints Mr. Poe gave to them a week ago when dropping them off to Lake Lachrymose, before going back on the ferry to the City.

Violet pulled the letter out, and unfolded it. The two silently read the note and list of groceries together. There they saw how the V in ‘vinegar’ matched the V in ‘Violet’, and that the C in ‘cucumber’ was identical to the C in ‘Captain Sham’.

As Violet and Klaus re-read the note and list once more, they felt their unspoken and shared hope shaking. This was not help by the fact that the house was shaking once again. The more the house shook, the thuds also became stronger.

“It’s in her handwriting,” said Violet at last. “This was Count Olaf’s plan all along. Win her heart, get her alone to write this suicide note, and then push her out the window.”

Violet crumbled the list of groceries, and shoved it into her pocket. Recalling the peppermints, Violet pulled out the bag, and threw it out the shattered window.

There’s no point in keeping them if they’re not going to be useful.

Klaus stared at the window, and then back at the note in his hand.

“It’s…It’s…” Klaus burrowed his brow, and then gasped. “Violet, it’s not a suicide note.”

Klaus then dug into his pants pockets, and pulled out a retractable ball-point pen Uncle Monty let Klaus kept, for Monty had many to spare. Klaus clicked the pen, and underlined the ‘it’s’ on the letter. He then circled the ‘K’ in Ike, and turned to Violet.

“Writing “it’s” was to get our attention. Ike is our first clue. Ike is supposed to be ice.”

Klaus wrote the letter ‘C’ at the bottom of the note. He then did the same with the word inbearable, circling the ‘I’ and wrote down the letter ‘U’ next to the letter C. Klaus repeated this for every error that was written, until he finally got the last mistake of ‘I’d’, writing down the letters of ‘V’ and ‘E’. Then, Klaus heavily underlined the hidden word that was inside the note all along.

CURDLED CAVE

“She’s not dead,” said Klaus, a small smile forming on his lips. “She’s hiding.”

“Curdled Cave…” repeated Violet, smiling herself as well.

Another shake. Another thud. Items are now crashing onto the floor.

Violet and Klaus soon realized after that crash that not once, did they hear their baby sister speak throughout the reading of Aunt Josephine’s note, their comparison of the handwriting, and the reveal of the hidden message. The two gave each other another set of identical freak-out looks as another shake happened, this time sending several books down, which send loose papers all over the place.

“Sunny! Where are you?” shouted Violet, cupping her hands together over her mouth.

Another rumble. Another thud. More crashing was heard. The sound of something tearing apart from the house caught Violet’s attention. She turned her head towards the direction, and widened her eyes from the fear taking over her.

The front door was off its hinges, flying right towards her and Klaus.

Violet hastily grabbed Klaus, pushing himself and herself to the side. The door flew past them and out the window. It’s there a familiar voice caught their attention.

“Ey! Ey!”

The two looked down, and saw Sunny, pointing to the door their Aunt Josephine said was her deceased husband’s Ike private room. Their Aunt Josephine told them that she couldn’t bear to set foot in it, and made sure none of the Baudelaire went inside also.

The strong winds busted the door open, showing the three children the office. Inside there was a small wooden desk with matching chair, and a small window overlooking the desk itself. Clipped onto hanging string, were newspaper articles with headlines black and bold with the darkest ink seen, as well as loose book pages.

Violet quickly picked Sunny up, while Klaus’ curiosity got the better of him. He took a few steps inside Ike’s office, with Violet (and Sunny, being in Violet’s arms) behind him.

Much of the book pages were text, though two pages were full illustrations of a three-legged crow, and a deer-like creature with two sets of antlers. Regarding headlines, one came from a newspaper from Paltryville—the town where a photograph of their parents, their Aunt Josephine, Uncle Monty, and others was taken. The headline talked about an accident regarding the now defunct stream train, The Thistle of the Valley.

The small window in the office soon shattered. The desk opened up, and loose papers went flying. One paper flew right towards Klaus, and the middle Baudelaire child caught it. In his hands was a sketch. It was a hand-drawn sketch of an unknown creature that was curving its body, almost like a question mark.

Klaus lowered his eyes to see the artist’s signature: E.B.W.

“What was Ike investigating?” asked Klaus, focusing all too much on the sketch.

Violet didn’t reply to Klaus. Another shake of the house had Violet turning around, allowing her to focus on all the destruction and chaos surrounding them.

“Klaus,” said Violet loudly, “we got to get out of here!”

“R-right!” Klaus nodded his head, and folded up the sketch, shoving it into his pants pocket, as well as the pen still in his hand.

The Baudelaires were only a few or two away from Ike’s office, when another shake of the house happened. They heard the creaking of the house walls wanting to tear itself off, the groans of the beams below them. The children did their best to pick up the pace, for the wind was much stronger than before, and the floor was now slightly slanted.

Another creak. Another shake. The sudden sound behind the children terrified them. They couldn’t but look back behind them, and saw that Ike’s room and parts of the library fell down into the lake below.

Another thud. The children looked back in front of them, and saw the refrigerator tipped down, and began sliding towards them.

“Come away from the fridge,” said Violet, recalling their Aunt Josephine’s words. “Because if it falls it could crush you flat!”

Violet and Sunny quickly fell to the right side of the slanted room, while Klaus rapidly fell to the left side to dodge it. The three children upon seeing the refrigerator falling into the waters below, stood up, and continued marching on to the entrance of the house.

They marched through everything falling around them, as well as everything detaching themselves from the house. They marched through the light debris flying past their heads that could harm them, if it hit them right. The children marched on over the slanted floor, which keeps on slanting due to the support beams weakening.

One support beam was so weak, the stove —which had broken free from its plug and caught on fire due to a phone wire sparking on it— fell through the door with a heavy splash. The Baudelaires gave each other a sigh of relief.

Relief didn’t last long as they looked forward. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny saw another loose wire heating up the doorknob. The doorknob turned from its black metal color to an orange color that’s seconds aways away from turning red.

“No way,” said Violet.

When the doorknob turns a bright red that’s almost white, the Baudelaires quickly ducked down to the floor. The children refused to look up. They kept themselves low, and they heard the harsh winds over their heads, and whatever debris flying pass them. They kept themselves in this position for minutes, before the winds began the slowly calm down. The wind calmed down to where Violet felt she could finally ask a question.

“It is over?”

Klaus slowly lifted his head up, and saw a fire extinguisher two inches away from his head. He flipped over onto his back, and swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

“Violet, I think you might want to tie your hair up.”

Violet slowly looked up, wondering what Klaus meant by that. Violet once again widened her eyes upon seeing the newest situation they were in.

Despite having survived the worst that Hurricane Herman could throw at them, being stranded on what little remained of their Aunt Josephine’s house was equally worse. Perhaps more so. The creaks and groans of the still standing beams told the Baudelaires that any second now, they could fall to the doom if they don’t act quickly.

Violet looked at Sunny, who was moving her head around quietly, looking around at their surroundings. Feeling certain Sunny would be safe where she was at for the time being, Violet stood up, and she too, observed their surroundings. She kept on her observation as she pulled out her ribbon from her other coat pocket.

Violet quickly tied up her hair, and walked over towards the edge near former front door. Violet looking down at the beams below, and briefly bit the inside of her lower lip. Violet then looked back up, turning her attention to a wall that somehow, wasn’t gone with the wind. The wall had an empty cabinet that once held fancy dishes, but now had an anchor inside it. Near the cabinet was also a few empty metal cannisters that look like they could have held helium for balloons.

“Klaus, bring me the fire extinguisher,” said Violet.

Klaus looked at the fire extinguisher. “Why?”

“Because we need to move this anchor,” continued Violet, point to the edge near the former front door, “over there.”

“…Okay.”

Klaus did as he was told. He helped Violet lower the anchor from the cabinet, onto the fire extinguishers and the other metal cannisters. The two siblings carefully rolled the anchor towards the edge, and stopped right before it could go over.

Klaus looked back down at the beam. “Violet, what is exactly your plan?”

“On the count of three,” replied Violet, “we’re going to break the beam.”

Klaus did a double take from the beam to Violet. “Break it?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the only thing keeping us up.”

“I know.”

Sunny’s voice suddenly ranged out. “Epon!”, which translated to, “Violet, please tell us you tied your hair tight enough.”

“Just trust me.” Violet took a deep breathe in, and then out. “One, two…three!”

Violet and Klaus soon rolled the anchor off, and they saw it falling right onto the beams. The house stood still, before it began tilting back and forth. Klaus quickly ran over to Sunny, and picked her up. Klaus continued to hold Sunny close to his chest, as he and Violet prepared to jump. Violet was even in a jumping stance.

“Hold on, Sunny,” said Klaus, as the house began to tilt back once more

Violet bends her knees, as the house tilt forward once again. “NOW!”

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny —granted, she’s being carried— soon jumped over to the remains of their Aunt Josephine’s front porch. The children turned around just in time to see the house tilting backward, with everything now falling into the lake as last. They stood there in silence, still reeling in the events they went through minutes ago.

Sunny soon spoke up again. “Wohat?”, which translated to, “What do we do now?”

“It’s obvious,” said Klaus. “With the proof we have that Aunt Josephine alive and hiding, we can go to the authorities for help.”

Violet shook her head. “No.”

Klaus and Sunny stared at one another, before staring back at Violet. “No?”

“The authorities don’t listen. They never listen to us,” said Violet. “And that’s because of Olaf. He won’t stop. He’ll never stop. We have to find Aunt Josephine ourselves.”

“But—” Klaus was unable to finished his sentence. The distance sounds of sirens took the children by surprise.

Violet stared at Klaus. “Have you read any books on sailing?”

[afterthegreatunknown]

ASOUE Alternate Universe (Universe Alteration) where everything about Violet and Klaus remains the same, but Sunny is now a young elementary school age child with an interest of cooking who also has the penchant to bite people she usually dislikes.

Face Claim for the Baudelaires of the AU (UA), I guess:

Violet Baudelaire: Alexis Bledel during Season One of Gilmore Girls (a representation of the early 2000s, especially 2000 itself, and Season One!Rory sort of fits the image of a Violet)

Klaus Baudelaire: Joseph Gordon-Levitt from the 1992 film A River Runs Through It (Adult Joseph Gordon-Levitt gives some Adult!Klaus vibes, so it's me trying to pull the inverse)

Sunny Baudelaire: Bailee Madison from 2007's Bridge to Terabithia; the last edit's photo though, is from the 2006 film Lonely Hearts (representation of the mid-2000s years)

[afterthegreatunknown]

asoue au (inspired by the six baudelaires au by @unfortunate-stranger-losers) involving book!quagmire triplets and netflix!quagmire triplets existing in the same universe as cousins because book!mr. quagmire and netflix!mrs. quagmire are siblings (book!mr. quagmire is adopted by netflix!mrs.quagmire’ parents). stuff that happens/is consider in this au:

book!quagmire fire happens first. book!quigley is thought to be dead in the fire for a year and a half (the replacement for three semesters, though i think a year and a half is three semesters proper), forcing book!duncan and book!isadora to live without their brother even longer. the twins comments hurt more now, because for almost a year and a half, from an outsider perspective, they do appear as twins, getting it more constantly.

due to the year and a half, book!quigley is more into vfd, being closer to a proper volunteer than he was in canon. book!quigley not reuniting with his siblings and getting an ‘apprenticeship’ was something approved of by the netflix!quagmire parents; by the time they learned of his survival. their family became targets. so it was best for book!quigley to stay separated.

(the revelations of the above has both sets of triplets losing their shit because ‘hey mom and dad/aunt and uncle what the f-’. netflix!quigley loses it the worst upon learning his cousin is alive. because while netflix!quigley is all up and interested in the vfd stuff, he doesn’t trust jacques as much as book!quigley, due to spending three weeks and a half vs. a year and a half.)

regarding the situation of the dorms and orphan shack, netflix!mr.quagmire was ready to sign the slips for both sets of triplets (because it’s time to get them into vfd training due to book!quigley’s situation). but the netflix!quagmire fire destroyed those slips. netflix!isadora -who now has the special interest in handwriting forgery- stole two slips from the office (she took it because she thought it would be important later), forged her dead father’s signature, and complained about how they did have their slips the whole time, but a lack of secretary had nero overlooking it (nero is rather apologetic).

the sack of flour is no more. book!duncan is klaus, netflix!isadora is violet, and book!isadora is sunny (she’s just crawling). netflix!duncan helps the baudelaires for their final exams because this kid is a real avid note taker compare to his sister and cousins. the poor boy cries his eyes out as he watches his sister and cousins get kidnapped at the end of taa.

netflix!isadora kisses klaus on the cheek, because she is bi and has a crush on him. she once had a crush on carmelita, but her personality + bullying got netflix!isadora going ‘NOPE’. book!isadora is a lesbian and never gets a crush on carmelita, and mocks netflix!isadora for it at times because ‘really? HER?’, the tables turn when it’s reveal book!isadora got a crush on violet. i guess i can say here book!quigley gets the romance with violet, while netflix!duncan keeps his minor crush on violet that goes nowhere (and one violet never learns about). book!duncan and netflix!quigley don’t have time for crushes; they have other things to focus on.

netflix!duncan is the first to understand the hansel and gretel reference because his special interest is history/folktales/fairytales (his interests has him needing to be an avid note taker, in his perspective at least). netflix!duncan also stays behind with his sister and cousins down in the shaft, so the quagmires disappearance worries the baudelaires even more.

book!isadora and netflix!duncan are throw out of the truck at the end of tee, because count olaf, esme, and the troupe realize they need one of each triplet set to get the full quagmire fortune. they kept book!duncan because he’s the eldest of his triplet siblings, and netflix!isadora because she’s mistaken for the eldest of her triplet siblings, and the bald man’s creepiness has book!duncan entering protective cousin mode and medical care.

netflix!quigley special interest is photography. astro-photography. the boy took so many photos of the night sky he knows enough about the stars and constellations, that after the two boys escape monty’s burning house, sometimes travel at night.

both sets of triplet cousins upon seeing fernald, jump and try beating the shit out of him. at least the duncans and isadoras. the quigleys are just watching from the sidelines because they don’t have that much beef with the man.

[afterthegreatunknown]

Fernald Thinks of the Past, and Gets into a Role

Hello! Welcome to the second 'chapter' of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired by the Six Baudelaires AU by tumblr user unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this AU, the Book!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. This 'chapter' focuses on the Reptile Room, meaning only the two Fernalds -Verne who is Netflix!Fernald and Book!Fernald- are present. It's a mixture of actual fanfic written out, and a summary of events. More summary than fanfic, in fact.

So! Violet, Klaus and Sunny are living the best of their lives -so far- with their Uncle Monty, and plan on going to Peru with him soon. Olaf, disguised as Stephano, the new lab assistant, pretty much ruins that. Soon, it's almost time for the group of four (would be five if Monty didn't tore up Olaf's ticket) to go to Peru, and nothing has yet to happened. Well, nothing happened yet when when looking at what the Acting Troupe is doing back in the City...

“Hold it steady, Verne. Steady…steady…steady…steady…steady…steady…steady…”

“Stop saying steady so much, Harper. It doesn’t sound like a real word anymore. Why can’t we do something else? Playing cards are meant to be play with! Not building houses! We can play a nice game of—”

“You’re the one who destroyed my last two attempts of building a house of cards. They were near completion too. It’s only fair that you help me with my last attempt.”

“I said I was sorry. Twice.”

“I know. That’s why I said it’s only fair. And I don’t want to play card games, especially with you. If it’s the game I think you’re thinking of, Penny and Lucy told me how you convinced them to play, and how you won over their favorite hats. I’m not taking the chance to lose my own favorite hat.”

“You don’t have to bet on a hat. You can bet on something else. Like your scarf.”

Fernald shifted around on the sofa, eyes still closed shut, and continued to listen to Uncle Verne and Harper talking to one another. Uncle Verne was really trying to get someone else to play a particular card game. Fernald wouldn’t mind playing it, for it’s a fun game. But very much like Penny and Lucy, he didn’t want to lose anything he wager. Uncle Verne was pretty much unstoppable. No one can defeat him.

Well, except one person. But that’s in the past.

The front door soon opened up, and the sounds of two pairs of boots hit against the wooden floor of the old living room. Fernald opened his eyes, and sprung upward. He saw Uncle Verne and Harper stopping their house of cards. Uncle Verne also accidentally knocked it down again, with Harper giving out a sigh.

“I guess there’s always tomorrow,” said Harper, shrugging their shoulders in defeat.

Fernald slid off the sofa, and stood up. Fernald focused his attention onto Penny and Lucy, now standing in the living room proper. The former was holding a copy of The Daily Punctilio, while the latter was carrying two plastic bags of what Fernald hope is food. The leftover pasta and pudding were all eaten up, and Olaf well…

The bastard only had wine and beer around the house.

“Please tell me you have some grub for us, Lucy,” said Fernald, walking towards them.

“Yep! And it’s not that crap from the Anxious Clown this time!” Lucy had a giant smile plastered on her face, and her eyes twinkled like a kaleidoscope. “We got take-out food from this lovely Chinese restaurant, as well as this cute bakery that’s sadly about to close! The latter gave us free cupcakes because we were the first customers there!”

“Is the cake vanilla, chocolate, or carrot flavor?” asked Harper, approaching them.

“It’s lemon flavor,” answered Penny, unfolding the newspaper. “I say we eat the cupcakes first. You know how the boss is sensitive to the word ‘lemon’ and ‘lemony.’ By the way, speaking of Olaf, is he still at Dr. Montgomery’s home as ‘Stephano’?”

“We’re not sure. Seller went downtown to try make contact,” said Uncle Verne. “But he hasn’t come back yet.”

“I hope the jackass got arrested,” commented Fernald, and smiled. “Out of all of us, I think he deserves going to prison the most.”

“Don’t say such things, Fernald,” said Uncle Verne, giving Fernald a glare. “I’m sure Seller’s holdup is due to the Olaf’s situation. Montgomery is the most intelligent man we know. I wouldn’t be surprise if he figured out what happened to Gustav, and is doing everything to prevent the boss from taking away the Baudelaires.”

Penny kept quiet as she continued to unfold the newspaper, her hands trembling with each unfold. Lucy’s lower lip quivered, and hands the plastic bags to Harper. Lucy then rubbed her eyes, and sniffled. Fernald gently placed a hook over Lucy’s shoulder, and gives her a reassuring smile. Despite Gustav being their enemy —Fernald still can’t believe that’s his reality; same goes to Uncle Monty— Lucy’s behavior was understandable. Lucy and Penny when given the order, couldn’t go through with it.

No one wanted to murdered Gustav, in fact. Not Harper, not Uncle Verne, not even Fernald himself. It was an order from Olaf that no one wanted to do. Except that asshole Seller. However, Olaf was smart to not ask Seller of it.

“I still think Gustav should have been tied up to a train,” said Lucy, her voice barely above a whisper, making it hard for Fernald to heard. “He would be out of our way, and alive. I don’t…I can’t bear the thought of Sally eventually discovering her brother —the only family she had left— dying from foul play. You think they’ll ever find his body?”

Fernald briefly turned his head towards Uncle Verne’s direction. Uncle Verne was lowering his head, and closed his eyes.

“Who knows,” answered Uncle Verne, his voice also barely audible. “This is Olaf we’re talking about.”

Penny shuddered, and blinked a few times. She then finally unfolded the newspaper completely. She flipped some pages, and showed everyone the review written by Gomez Guzmán, actor turned dramatic critic for The Daily Punctilio after an event Fernald doesn’t like to think about. “Speaking of the boss, guess whose ridiculous, terrible play got blasted once more!”

[Trying to work HTML in the new editor refuses to make align center show up, let alone proper breaks. So breaks of sections is me rambling in brackets. Moving on now...]

The Acting Troupe take some joy on reading Guzmán’s review of The Marvelous Marriage, while eating the cupcakes all to themselves. Verne tried convincing everyone to save at least one cupcake but he got outvoted four-to-one (Fernald personally can’t understand why Verne wants to be nice to Seller).

Guzmán criticized the lack of plot and flat characters for a full page, and mentioned how a majority of the audience found themselves dozing off until the ending. Guzmán himself admitted how he had to pinched himself awake to be able to write the review.

Guzmán’s review: “The one exciting thing of this pathetic excuse of a play wasn’t part of the play at all. The reveal that everything was a terrible, yet brilliant planned ruse for the main male lead to attempt on stealing the well-known Baudelaire fortune woke everyone up. Everyone was figuratively fuming to where this critic was certain someone from the audience was ready to literally beat the main male lead up to a bloody pulp.”

Fernald, stabbing his cupcake: “I would have loved to see this with my own eyes!”

Guzmán did gave praises as they were rightfully deserved. He praised how while there were limited sets, they were easy on the eyes, and fitted the lack of plot as best it could, especially on an obvious cheap budget (which make Harper, Penny, and Lucy smile). He praised how the costumes, while also on a cheap budget, got allocated well to look almost professional (which has Verne taking pride how one of his skills is getting appreciated). In particular, it’s the unexpected pirate outfit that got Guzmán’s attention.

Guzmán’s review: “Seeing a pirate outfit on the stage in such a long time has me thinking of The Pirates of Penzance. One performance in particular, but this review isn’t meant to be reminiscing of the pleasant past.”

Penny was about ready to read the wonderful words about Fernald’s acting, and Fernald himself found himself hyping up to it (for Penny had read it before the return back, and mentioned to Fernald that it’s a good one), Seller barged in.

Seller, pointing to Fernald: “You! Get your ass out of the chair NOW! You’re the lucky one to be chosen by our boss to help out his latest scheme!”

Penny, peeved: “Good to see you too, asshole!”

Fernald, standing up: “Why does the boss need my help in particular? Surely you or someone else could take my place.”

Seller: “He thought you can redeem yourself after your little stunt during The Marvelous Marriage! Besides, he said you’re the only one who knows know to get to the late Dr. Montgomery house without needing a map. He brought up how you used to visit the herpetologist’s house alongside your annoying-ass stepfather and—”

Verne, standing up also now: “Montgomery’s dead!?”

Seller: “Dead, and dead, and dead indeed. Now Fernald, GET YOUR ASS MOVING!”

But being so late at night, Verne managed to convince Seller to let Fernald go in the morning, which Seller reluctantly agreed too. The next morning, Verne quickly gets to work on Fernald’s disguise as Doctor (O.) Lucafont. Due to the rush, Lucafont resembles more of a private detective than a proper doctor/medical examiner: trench coat and fedora hat. Lucafont has a fake mustache, and has circular red-tinted glasses that has Fernald wondering if Olaf wanted him to wear such a silly disguise.

Fernald on the drive to Monty’s house, took the chance to steal a real doctor’s medical bag that actually has medical tools. Too bad they’re not needed for the corpse. Upon arriving to Monty’s house, Fernald is order to ‘examine’ the body. He gets a bit too into the role of Lucafont, for he found a pad and pencil inside the bag.

Lucafont: *writing his ‘observations’ down* “I don’t think the Baudelaires will enjoy hearing their poor uncle cause of death.”

Inside the kitchen, Lucafont showed everyone his badly written notes of Monty’s death: killed by a Mamba du Mal. Lucafont was so into showing his notes, he failed to realize how Stephano was fuming at the notebook. Still, Stephano gives Lucafont a cup of coffee when asked, since Fernald’s role is done, and he politely asked for it (Olaf knows Fernald is a coffee fanatic, and tolerates it).

As Lucafont, Stephano, and Mr. Poe discuss driving and seating arrangement, Lucafont ended up pissing off Stephano. This is what happens with Fernald is too into his role.

Stephano: “I got it. I will drive the children in Dr. Lucafont’s car, and Dr. Lucafont can go with you and Dr. Montgomery in Dr. Montgomery’s jeep.”

Lucafont: *awkwardly pushes up glasses with wooden hand* “I’m afraid that won’t work. The city laws won’t allow anybody else to drive my car.”

Stephano, realizes Fernald is way in-character: “Oh? Pardon me for not knowing.”

Mr. Poe: “Oh my. Then what will that mean about the children’s luggage? We didn’t even discuss the matter on the children’s luggage!”

Going back to the canonical ranches, Violet had figure out how Stephano killed Uncle Monty, Klaus had read up about the Mamba du Mal, and Sunny decided to fake getting attack by the Incredibly Deadly Viper. This of course, gets Mr. Poe to freak out in the funniest way possible, which leads to Stephano slipping up about how the Incredibly Deadly Viper won’t harm her. Lucafont, realizing what might happen next, attempted to tap Stephano’s shoulder with his wooden hand. Stephano pushed back Lucafont for his interruption. Shoved him in fact.

As such, Lucafont upon seeing Stephano getting reveal as Olaf and getting caught…

Lucafont: “I daresay you deserve to get caught after everything you did!”

Lucafont still of course help Olaf to escape by offering to put him in back into his car, and to give him up to the authorities. Violet and Klaus said their goodbyes, and Sunny, being a clever baby that she is, decided to bite one of the wooden hands. Violet starts freaking out (“SUNNY!?”) but upon realizing the doctor is second hook-handed Man, tries to go after him. But of course…

Mr. Poe: *stops Violet* “He can’t be the Hook-Handed Man! That is the man is who Olaf called Nemo on his walkie-talkie! This is the man who gave the on-stage pirate monologue that was the only worthy thing of that dreadful performance! I’m surprised by your accusation, Violet!”

Violet, bewildered and pissed: “Mr. Poe, there’s two accomplices that has hooks for hands! This one just hides them with fake wooden hands!”

Fernald drives himself and Olaf back to the City and back to the house, all while breaking traffic laws and speed limits. Fernald on running away lost his other wooden hand, so now he’s just wooden hand-less. When they finally made it back at the house, Fernald told everyone what happened, and gets teased on what Sunny did.

Verne: *laughs* “I’m sorry, but it’s just so funny! You got outsmarted by an infant!”

Verne eventually stops laughing when Olaf attempted to strike Fernald across the face, with Fernald ducking in time.

Seller: “Boo.”

Olaf: *managed to shove Fernald to the floor, and begins to walk away to the Tower stairs* “The next you’re working alongside me, you better not make another damn mistake, if you want to see the light of day ever again.”

Fernald, quiet and shaken up: “…”

Harper: *crossing arms* “Said the jerk who actually made the mistake himself.”

[afterthegreatunknown]

‘Nemo’ doesn’t get paid at all for this, like a ‘Volunteer’

The first 'chapter' of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired the Six Baudelaires AU by tumblr user unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this au, the Books!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. This 'chapter' focus on Bad Beginning (so only the Fernalds are present), being a mixture of actual fanfic written out, as well as a summary of events.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire had just spoke of pleasant memories of their parents, and of their wonderful neighbor Justice Strauss, with them thinking of taking of her offer of visiting her library. Right as they placed the chocolate pudding in the refrigerator to cool down, they soon hear the booming sound of the front door being flung open. There’s no need to explain who arrived home: Count Olaf, and he just told the Baudelaires he was expecting roast beef from them.

“Does anyone know whose voice is that?” asked Fernald, making his way back to the entrance of the house, for Olaf thought to throw his coat onto him, instead of using the actual coat hanger nearby.

“Nope. It sounds rather young to be another of our boss’ associate though,” replied the smaller white-powder face women. She twirled a ringlet of her hair with her finger, and soon stared at her associate. “Penny, do you know?”

Penny quickly reapplied her white makeup via the makeup compact in her hand. She shrugged her shoulders before closing the compact shut. “No, Lucy, I don’t. Seller, do you have any idea who could that be? You’re closer to the boss than us.”

“How the fuck should I know?” The bald man narrowed his eyes, and then gave out a growl, readjusting the collar of his black robe he refused to take off. “I’m not with him 24/7! I have a life. Although…Harper was with Olaf at the bank awhile back. Harper?”

“…I think it would wise if we just go into the kitchen,” said Harper, who was near the door with the last of their associate. Harper carefully took off one of their two knitted scarves, and hung it onto the coat hanger. “I think I can hear more voices in there.”

~

“…Roast beef?” asked Klaus.

“Yes, roast beef,” replied Count Olaf. “It’s the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.”

“We didn’t make roast beef,” Violet said. While not knowing much of foreign languages, she’s certain roast beef is not Swedish in origin. “We made puttanesca sauce.”

“What.” Count Olaf blinked his eyes. “No roast beef?”

“You didn’t tell us you wanted roast beef,” Klaus said.

Count Olaf slide his way to the children, looking even taller than he was. His eyes grew even brighter, and his one eyebrow raised in anger. “In agreeing to adopt you, I have become your father. And as your father, I am not someone to be trifled with. I demand that you serve roast beef to myself and my guests.”

“But we don’t have any!” Violet cried. “We made puttanesca sauce!”

“No! No! No!” Sunny shouted suddenly.

Count Olaf looked down at Sunny, and soon, quickly outreached his scraggly hand towards her, clearly with the intent to harm. But before he could do so—

“Olaf? Olaf!” Unknown voices soon filled the room. “What’s going on, Olaf?”

Count Olaf paused, his grimy fingers barely an inch away from Sunny. Not long afterwards, the members of his theater troupe walked into the kitchen, eventually crowding the room. The children saw a bald man wearing a long black robe, peering at them as if he was a bird. There were two women —one tall, one small— with bright white powder all over their faces, making them appearing like ghosts.

Right behind them was a scarf-wearing person that’s taller than the tall powder-face woman, looking rather androgynous to where they have an indetermined gender. Behind that person was another bald man, but instead of wearing a black robe, he was wearing a black leather jacket. What made the man stand out though to the children, was that he has two prosthetic hooks where his hands should be.

“What in the world are you about to do, Olaf?” asked the hook-handed man.

“I was only about to disciple these orphans, Nemo,” replied Count Olaf. “I asked them to make dinner, and all they have made is some disgusting sauce and noodles.”

The hook-handed man nodded his head, and stared at the pots on the stove. “It smells nice, despite it being disgusting. Who knows? Maybe it will actually taste good. That being said, you can’t go easy on children. They must be taught to obey their elders.”

The bald man continued to peer from a distance, with his resemblance of a bird being all the more noticeable. “I supposed these are the rich orphan children you were telling me about earlier.”

“Yes, they are. They’re so awful I can’t believe I would even want to touch one of them.” Count Olaf gave a shudder, and rubbed his hands onto his pants, as if he had picked up Sunny in the first place. “Well, enough talk. I supposed we’ll eat their dinner. Follow me to the dining room! I’ll pour us some wine! Perhaps when they serve us, we’ll be too drunk to care or remember what we wanted in the first place.”

Count Olaf soon walked out to the kitchen and into the dinner room, with the hook-handed man, Nemo, soon following after in a complete silence. The two white-powdered face women then began walking after him, giving the children odd stares.

“You don’t look rich,” said the small white-powder face woman.

“Did you three got your clothes from a church dumpster?” asked the tall white-powdered face woman. “Because they’re ugly.”

The person that’s of an indetermined gender gave a stare at the children as they walked by. They looked rather bored out of their mind, and in an equally bored tone said, “I don’t care what you made for dinner. I want it to be edible.”

As the person of indetermined gender strolled away, the children soon saw there was one more troupe member. He was tall, lanky young man —younger than the small white-powder face woman— with lankier arms. The standout feature of him though, was his odd stiff hands. Something about his hands was unnatural. The uncanny valley.

The man with the odd hands began walking after the others, before suddenly stopping. He turned to the Baudelaires, and gave them a smile, but not fitting of the uncanny valley. The man placed one of his odd hands underneath his arm, and wiggled his hand to suddenly reveal a sharp hook less fitting for prosthetic use, pirate aesthetics.

“It’s sharper than my associate,” said the man, before walking away, struggling to put his hook back into his fake hand, muttering to himself in angry gibberish.

As the man struggled with his hook in the distance, the Baudelaires —Violet in particular— felt an aura nearby. She turned around, and found the bald man standing before her. They all had forgotten the man hadn’t left with everyone else. The bald man stared Violet in the eye, before suddenly grabbing her face with one of his rough hands. Violet wanted to pull away, but she found herself unable to move.

“You’re a pretty one,” said the bald man quietly. “If I were you, I would try to not anger Count Olaf, or he might wreck that pretty little face of yours.” As he soon let’s go of Violet’s face, he then gave out a deep-tone laugh as he finally walked away.

Violet found herself shuddering and breathing heavily, finding little comfort on the other hook-handed man’s words of disgust from afar: “Dude. That is a fourteen-year-old girl.”

With Sunny crying over what almost happened, Klaus found that his eyes were also in tears. He picked up his baby sister, and slowly approached Violet, who while not in tears, was trembling with fear and revulsion from the bald man’s interaction with her.

“This is terrible,” said Klaus in a crack voice. “Violet, what can we do?”

Violet didn’t say anything at first. All she did was blink, still processing the event earlier. Soon though, she gave her brother an answer. “I don’t know. I’m afraid.”

“…Me too,” said Klaus back, holding Sunny closer to him.

Sunny continued to wail for some time, before giving her own response. “Hux!”

“Come on, children!” shouted Count Olaf, who sounded very drunk already. “Let’s have some dinner!” Soon the pounding of empty plates on the table rang out.

“We’d better serve the puttanesca,” Violet said quietly, and then made her way to the bubbling pot that was once cozy and warm. “Who knows what Count Olaf will do to us.”

---

Verne found himself enjoying his plate of noodles with puttanesca sauce, as well as the delicious chocolate pudding. Nearly everyone had their share of it, except for Olaf, who spent most of his time drinking wine, nearly hogging it all if it wasn’t for Lucy. The eating and drinking and laughing went on until Olaf decided it’s time to finally take their leave.

“Because you haven’t cleaned up yet,” said Olaf, turning his attention away from everyone else to the Baudelaires, “you’re excused from attending tonight’s performance. But after cleaning up, you have to go straight to your beds.”

Verne ended up watching the Baudelaires Orphans. Violet stood their quietly, keeping her right hand in a tight fist. Sunny was sitting near her in silence, looking seconds away from crying. Klaus, who had been staring at the floor the whole time, finally looked up. With flared nostrils, he gave a glare.

“You mean our bed!” shouted Klaus. “You only provided us with one bed!”

Klaus’ outburst had everyone stop what they were doing. Harper and Penny were no longer side chatting. Seller, Fernald, and Lucy stopped taking the final few sips of their wine. Everyone went quiet in their seats. Everyone —including Verne himself — went back and forth between glancing at Klaus and Olaf.

Olaf raised his one eyebrow, and peered down at the boy. “If you would like another bed for yourselves, tomorrow you may go into town and purchase it.”

“You know perfectly well we haven’t any money,” replied Klaus.

“Of course you do!” Olaf spoke much louder, and then gave a laugh. “You and your sisters are the inheritors of an enormous fortune that your parents left behind!”

“And it can’t be used until Violet is of age,” Klaus said. “If you don’t believe it, you can look it up yourself. It’s the law.”

Olaf said nothing. The only reaction shown was his face turning red. Then, in one sudden movement, he bends down and grabbed Sunny, who this whole time was quiet from fear of their previous interaction in the kitchen.

“Sunny!” shouted Klaus.

“Put her down, you beast!” yelled Violet.

But he didn’t. Olaf kept her up in the air, moving her across the table in front of him. The sight of the baby in danger had Verne gasping, as well as Lucy. Verne outreached his hook-handed hands out first, and he saw Lucy following suit. As they continued to follow Olaf’s wavering movements, Verne hears the laughing of Seller, as well as the mutterings going on between Fernald, Penny, and Harper.

Olaf chuckles as he faked losing control of Sunny, and finally settled her down onto the table between several half-eaten noodles. Verne heard Violet sighing in suddenly relief, and he saw her pushing herself between him and Fernald to get her sister.

Violet placed her hand on the back of Sunny’s head, and kept her very close to her chest. The sight of Violet holding Sunny had Verne remembering his own teenager years with his sister. Verne however, didn’t thought of the past for much longer.

Olaf again made another sudden movement. This time, he had his hand open, and struck Klaus across the face onto his left cheek. The boy gave a grunt as he fell to the floor, with his glasses leaping from his face and skittered into a nearby corner.

“We’re leaving for rehearsals,” said Olaf. He briefly adjusted the buttons on his jacket, and then walked out of the room without looking back.

And everyone stood up to followed after Olaf. Seller gave a roaring laugh and round of applaud, while Lucy, Penny, and Harper gave solemn looks at one another. Fernald mutters again as he left, while Verne found it very hard to not look back at the sight of the children, not doubt comforting each other, lamenting over their terrible situation.

~~~

Verne was the last to arrive to the car. Everyone was in their seats, or in Fernald’s case, inside the trunk of the car. Olaf stood beside the front passenger door, and slammed his hand on the car hood.

“Took you long enough, Nemo!” shouted Olaf. “We haven’t got all night!”

“Don’t take your anger out on me! The bookworm had a point,” said Verne.

“I unfortunately agree,” said Seller, sticking his head out the window. “But if I know you, Olaf, you’ll figure out a way to the get that Baudelaire money.”

“We’ll see, Seller,” replied Olaf. “We’ll see.”

When the Baudelaires need to figure Olaf’s plan regarding The Marvelous Marriage, it’s Fernald who gets them from Justice Strauss’ house. Fernald doesn’t get much into Klaus’ face due to the slap of the previous night, but still threatens him with his hooks.

When Violet climbs the Tower to rescue Sunny and getting caught, it’s Verne who’s there. He was playing a game of Memory when Violet made the attempt the throw the grappling hook to the top of the tower. Yes, that means he was present in the failures; he was wondering if Violet will actually make it up the Tower before informing Olaf.

Verne, upon seeing Violet: “What a lovely surprise! It’s pleasant that you could join us. I was just thinking how nice it would be to have a little bit more company around here.”

Verne soon leaves the Tower in order to get Klaus. When Verne returns with Klaus, he takes the boy’s measurements before leaving to help with the final preparations for the performance. Verne and Olaf appeared again hours later with walkie-talkie in their coat pocket, with Olaf explaining that Verne (Nemo, for that is what Olaf calls him) will be the one to stay with Sunny.

Violet and Klaus are taken to the theater, hanging out backstage for Act One. They hear Fernald onstage with Penny, Lucy, and Olaf, while they see Harper and Seller backstage; Harper is arranging flower vases surprisingly made out of cardboard and pulling the ropes, while Seller adjusts the lights fixture. In Act Two, Fernald is on stage alone, and for whatever reason, turns from acting like a soldier to a pirate (the costume change doesn’t help). The two siblings find themselves suppressing giggles, for Fernald keeps on saying ‘Aye!’ between his sentences, as well noticing he’s going from tangent to tangent. They stopped upon seeing Olaf —ready for Act Three— totally freaking out.

Olaf, freaking out: “I can’t believe he’s doing that bit! No one wants a pirate! Am I the only one who’s still a professional!?”

Violet and Klaus are soon changed into their costumes by Penny and Lucy, and after changing, they see Fernald getting dragged by the ear by Olaf, before getting shoved. As Olaf left to go back on stage with Penny and Lucy, Fernald stared at Violet and Klaus, and he snickered mainly at Klaus due to his silly looking costume, before leaving.

With the performance still going on, Verne continues to keep an eye on Sunny. This time, he plays a game of Solitaire. Sunny speaks to herself in her baby-language, wondering what he’s playing. When Verne answered her, Sunny is shock. Sunny decides to ask what sort of name is ‘Nemo’, and Verne explains it’s an alias. Verne changes the subject by asking Sunny if she would like to play poker.

Sunny says yes, and Sunny proves herself to be a fast learner and a very well-play poker player. She got so well at playing poker, Sunny wins her freedom and is out of the cage. Fernald at this point arrives, laughing his ass off Sunny won poker. What Fernald doesn’t laugh at, is that Sunny’s freedom means Verne is bringing her to the wedding. The two men get into an argument (Fernald’s name not being said, for reasons) which ended with Verne accidentally sending Fernald out the window, dangling from the cage.

Verne, apologetic: “Sorry, but this is your own doing.”

Verne and Sunny soon head off to the theater, arriving just after Violet told everyone she signed the marriage certificate with her left hand, and not her right hand. With the Baudelaires exposing Olaf as a terrible guardian and he’s seconds away getting arrested/getting beaten up by the audience, Seller jumps into action by turning off the lights, allowing Olaf and everyone in the acting troupe to escape in the tunnels:

Olaf: *does a head count of everyone* “Nemo, where’s the hell your brother?”

Verne: “One, he’s not my brother, and you know that. Two. He decided to…hang around the Tower. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine, provided the police doesn’t find him first.”

[afterthegreatunknown]

Inspired by the Six Baudelaires AU by @unfortunate-stranger-losers, it’s the Curse Concept ASOUE AU: The Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU.

Fiona Una [Widdershins]

The Mycologist

Stepdaughter of V. Widdershins

Three Words: Quiet, Wary, Devoted

Turns Fifteen a little after TMM

An introvert of a teenager, Fiona knows her family is rather peculiar, even among other V.F.D.’s families. Stepfather is in denial of many things, especially of the fights he used to have with her brother late at night. Step-Grandfather avoids visiting her and Stepfather, and even then, the visits that do occur he tends interact with them at arm’s length (usually in Stepfather’s case). Aunt Tegan because they haven’t seen each other in two years has —to Fiona at least— the daresay illogical desire to be treated as a proper aunt, and things are awkward. Fiona has reasons to believe it’s due to a family secret that one day, she will find out about.

Fiona for the time being, works alongside Stepfather and Tegan on the Queequeg as an additional member to the Crew of Two. Granted, Fiona would ideally read her mycology books, as well as collecting fungi samples. While Tegan is completely supportive of Fiona’s decision to be a mycologist, Stepfather is a mixed bag. Fiona is honestly close to asking him why he’s rather wishy-washy: she’s annoyed that he’s fine with her reading mycology books, but freaks out upon finding a few samples scattered around. Hopefully, Fiona will figure out what about the samples make Stepfather jumpy. But for now, Fiona will continue collecting them, whether he likes it or not.

Other Notes:

Book!Fiona has no particular face claim, but for the AU, her face claim is AnnaSophia Robb, from her role in Race to Witch Mountain (2009).

Fiona’s age of fifteen is due to Tegan’s age of seveteen; the idea is to have them close in age to be mistaken for step cousins or step siblings, not niece and (step)aunt.

Fiona’s last name is irrelevant; Widdershins just fills in the blank.

Due to Tegan’s presence from the get-go, Widdershins sees Klaus and Fiona are just friends. Fiona is glad (like, very glad) to learn of this when they briefly talk about Klaus and her friendship.