#AROUND MY TOOTHBRUSH not attractive at all good job hells

[hella1975]

SHE IS HOME

i want to go to bed but my flatmate had to take someone from her society to hospital and im one of those people that just Can’t Switch Off until i know we’re all home safe but it’s been THREE HOURS

[lillykayewrites]

CHANGE ME: CHAPTER SEVEN

Quiet... peace and quiet. But only when I thought the world could be silent forever, with the movie theatre of dreams playing in my mind.....

My eyes flew open.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Bee-

"Shut up!" I whined picking up my phone and shutting of my alarm.

With a groggy grunt, I sat on the edge of my bed and cradled my face in my hands. Poorly attempting to wipe the sleep out of my eyes, as the sleep induced fog completely overwhelmed my vision. I slowly got up and walked to the bathroom with hunched shoulders, yawning as I padded into the dark room. Flipping on the light switch, I squinted while I rummaged around for my things.

After a decent chunk of time, I was fully able to open my eyes that finally adjusted to the dull yellow light from my bathroom.

Looking up into my mirror, I was largely taken aback by my shocking reflection. Blinking a couple time to see if it was a trick of the eye, I was sorely disappointed to see when it wasn't.

Dark rings hung under my eyes that made me look like a raccoon and my pale complexion wasn't making my face anymore flattering. It was whiter than usual. I was deathly pale...But my I wish my face was the most unsettling thing, but unfortunately, it wasn't.

"Oh my God... what did he do to my neck?!" I rasped.

Well. He choked me. Choked me nearly to death...

That's what he did to my neck.

Turning my head to fully, the color contrast of my white skin against my throat was a bluish-purple ring of bruising around the base of my neck.

Slowly taking my finger, I put the slightest-to no pressure against it which I pulled back with an immediate groan.

"Uhghgh... oh ow. That hurt." I said with gritted teeth.

Setting my hands on the counter going into a slight trance, I stared at the ill colored ring for a couple more moments before snapping myself out of it.

"You can't do anything about it now..." I said

before continuing to get ready.

   Loosely tying my tie to keep away from my bruising, I looked at myself and my finished my attire. Grabbing my toothbrush, I brushed my teeth and put on a bit of makeup before running out of my room quickly to the kitchen.

I dug through my pantry and grabbed a cup of ramen and threw it in the microwave whilst I sorted through my bag for the night.

Dinging, the microwave beeped notifying me that my sodium filled dinner/breakfast  was now done and I enjoyed my small meal before having to deal with my tempered and dead....coworker.

11:30......

Sauntering once again into my joyous work space I happily sing out, "I'm baccckkk~" into the attraction.

  Getting to the office, I toss my stuff down and take out my bat just for good measures. Not falling for another situation where Springtrap could strangle the living shit out of me.

"Not today Afton!" I sighed heavily bouncing the heavy part of the bat in my hand.

Even though I knew bunny man could still beat me into a pasty white plump if he wanted to, the bat gave me a false amount of confidence that made me not afraid just enough where I could do my job.

As I spun in mindless circles in my chair for fifteen minutes, I was snapped out of my thoughts by the phone dude that called the night before.

"This place isn't rainbows and unicorns Dude!" I exclaimed frustratedly mocking my apparent night guard trainer.

As he continued his long drawn out "exciting" rant, he brought up supposed training tapes from a previous Freddy's location that burnt down thirty years ago.

'Vintage tapes from the original Freddy's?'

I thought excitedly, curious to here what was to be said on the other line.

After a couple seconds, the Phone Dude voice disappeared and was replaced with an upbeat and slightly nervous voice that came over the phone,

"Uh... Hello! Hello! Hello!" He spoke,

"Hey~" I replied in a joking manner.

"Uh, welcome to your new career as a performer/entertainer/for Freddy's Fazbear's Pizza." The man continued as I began to to actually listen instead of making fun of him while I fiddled with retro objects around the room and occasionally checking the cameras.

"Uh, these tapes will provide you with much needed information on how to handle/climb into/climb out of  of mascot costumes. Right now, we have two specifically designed suits that double as both animatronics and suits. So please pay attention while learning how to operate these suits as accidents/injuries/death/irreparable grotesque maiming can occur." Suddenly dropping the tablet in my lap I rolled my chair forcefully closer to the phone.

Accidents, injuries, death, irreparable grotesque maiming... now that sounds familiar...

Looking back down to my tablet, the static crunched and I spotted a dark silhouetted figure staring into the camera coming out of the door near the exit.

"No you don't!" I said under my breath as I played a small child's voice that rang over the attraction.

No wonder you respond to it, it's a child! I thought as I worked and the phone guy continued on talking.

"To change the animatronics to suit mode, insert and turn firmly the hand crank provided by the manufacturer. Turning the crank will recoil and compress the animatronic part around the sides of the suit providing room to climb inside."

Shaking my head a the train tape I threw up my hands in bewilderment, "And people still did this even though it was made to practically be a death trap?"

"Yes." a deep and collected voice said beside me.

Turning my head to the voice, the tall springlocked animatronic man stood at the door leaning on the frame in an intimidating fashion.

"Fuck." I whispered swallowing hard but then remembering I had a bat and in that moment of false confidence, my slight fear of papa bunny went away.

Swallowing my fear and putting on a poker face, I stared at him in the eyes for a couple moments before slowly turning my body and attention back to the phone.

"Why?" I suddenly asked.

Letting out a wheezing chuckle, the animatronic made his way through the entrance of the office. His frame becoming all the more intimidating as he drew closer.

"How many springlock failures did it take before they concluded it wasn't safe? Or were you the only one?..." I added becoming more breathy and feeling my pulse in my neck wear the pain of last night became noticeable once more.

At this point, William was only a few paces away from me. I could feel his cold penetrating gaze bore into me as I stared back with an unnerving amount of bravado.

     Not breaking eye contact , I put my hand down where my bat was concealed and lifted it out with a content sigh.

Seeing my sudden bravery, William let out another chuckle and shook his mechanical head.

"Brave now aren't we~" His mocking tone making me sneer.

"Listen Afton. I made a mistake of letting my guard down last night when I was trying to help you with the kids you killed. So, in summary...I have a bat now, and I will use it if you try to decisive me again. Because believe me! I still want to help, but for right now... I don't trust you." I stated standing up to my full 5'3 height against his 7'0 one.

"Going along with that sir..." I said coyly, while William imitated the action of a lifted brow,

"I have a set of rules that you will agree to if you want my help. If you still want it that is... I just supposed you came bac- "

"Yes. Now get on with it! I want to be rid of this God forsaken place for Pete's sake! Now finish before I find another way out by myself!" William snapped.

"Hmmm~" A coy expression falling over my face.

Got him.

"Fine...Alright rule one, obviously if you hurt me I will hit you with my bat and figure all of this out on my own.

Rule two, if you trick me...You get the bat. Got it?" I said with all the threatening confidence I could muster.

Staring at me disgruntled, William let out a sarcastic sigh that most likely would have had a heavy eye roll attached to it if he could even roll his eyes.

    "Now rule three, I have already started on it, but we need a plan to get you and these kids out of here. Which is where you come in! You know this place better than anyone else, and we need to use that as an advantage." I exclaimed, excitement washing over me a little bit.

I mean, how often do you get to save ghost children from there Prison and a giant dead bunny from going to Hell? Never right?! Exactly my point.

Calming down a bit, I looked up at who I thought would be my worst enemy, actually might be my only chance at helping everyone.

"Well doesn't that sound just delightful..." William scoffed.

"Look, I just want to help you, if you want me to, why does it seem li-"

"Why? Why are you trying to help me? I could care less about them but at least I understand why you want to help those brats, but me? You know what I did! I killed them. I enjoyed it too. I'm the monster. Why tether yourself to the poison you want to stop?" William exclaimed in an outburst. If I didn't know any better, it almost sounded like he was... regretful? But I was too taken aback to even ask.

"Because, if I free you all, it can stop... you have suffered thirty years Mr. Afton, just like they did. Yes, it was a punishment, but no one should go through this any longer. I want this chaos to cease just like they do... even like you do. Deep down, I know you want it to stop. You would have killed me already if you didn't." I whispered, loosening my grip on the bat in my hands.

"You know nothing of me. Nothing. So don't flatter yourself in pretending like you do. I just want to leave this God damn hole in the ground and once I do, I will leave everything else behind including you. This place, those little shits, you, and M-m...ugh" William snarled at me.

The grip on my bat immediately went back to its knuckle whiting state but I never broke a calm and unbothered facial expression.

"I'm sorry. You know what, I don't know you! I don't know you at all. I also get why you don't want any association with this place, me, nor... your son." I said calculatedly knowing exactly what would spark a reaction, which I received just like I expected.

William's head shot up quicker than I could blink.

"Don't. You. Dar-"

"Anyway..." I cut him off.

"Don't interrupt m-"

"I just did...But as I was going to say, the only reason this place isn't burnt to the ground is because I have been fixing the ventilation system. So unless I don't, this place will be in ashes in no more than an hour." I stated matter of factly.

"So I suppose that is your ingenious plan? Burn the place? Make it look like it was nothing more than an accident, how clever~" William spoke with mockery in his tone.

   Biting the inside of my cheek I looked at him with sass, "Yes. Yes it is, and honestly it is probably better than any of your plans because it's been thirty years and you're still here PeePaw." I retorted angrily, pointing a finger at the animatronic leaned up against the inside of the glass window.

"I beg your Pardon? What did you just call me?..."  William snarled.

Smirking to myself, sprawling like a joyous child in the moment, "Oh! What did I call you? I bet you forgot your hearing aids this evening, what I said was PeePaw~" I responded with a wide, pearly, shit eating grin.

Standing almost stunned for a moment, as if I bruised the dead man's ego so badly he had to take a puff of his inhaler. William was finally able to growl lowly at me,

"You just called me old...?" He spoke with astonishment.

"Yeah, mock me gramps and I'll mock you!"

"This is juvenile banter! I will not play any longer! I am not old!" William exclaimed in a defensive tone.

Chuckling a bit, I stared at the fully annoyed animatronic. I looked down at my hands that held my bat and realized I had let the tension go in my fingers again, which were now delicately holding the metal object.

   When I looked back up, I was unexpectedly met with William inches away from my face. Drawing back in surprise, I kept my face steady but I am sure he noticed my breathing become suddenly ridged.

"Wow...you're still pretty fast for your age!" I said snidely.

"Watch your tongue now darling~ and enough of the games! How about we put that little plan of yours into action now, shall we?" The Brit tempted, putting a grotesque decaying hand to my chin, and caressed his thumb down my jaw.

My smug face evaporated to a shocked expression,

Didn't he look like he just wanted to kill me?

Pulling away from the dead Prince Charming, I grabbed a box of matches from my bag warning an excitable facial expression from William.

Opening up the compact little box, I took out one of the delicate wooden matches and stared at it intensely.

"Give that to me!" William snapped quickly, eager to light the place ablaze.

Giving him the match and box, stepping out of his way, he looked around the room in a calculated way. His eyes going back and forth and peering down at the camera system.

"The fire can't start from in here, we need to go to room seven and it will look like the arcade had an electrical break which ultimately started the fire." William declared.

"Smart...alright, I'll follow you."

Turning to me and giving his best smirk, William lead me out of the office and down the hall giving me the Springtrap power walk.

But when we reached the hall that showed on cam eight, William came to a halt.

He stood frozen in his place, it seemed like he had shut down, but I knew he hadn't because for as small as it was, the twitch in his fingers gave him away as he stared forward.

Breathing a sigh, I cautiously moved past him to see what was so daunting to make a literal possessed machine paralyzed. But when I did, I too came to a stop

The children...

Simultaneously, flashing lights came over the attraction indicating the ventilation was shutting down. Slowly moving to stand in front of William, I let out a calming breath, breathing in the dust and damp air that was becoming stuffier by the second.

"Please, this doesn't have to harder than it is... we can all leave this place and you can rest! You don't have to be in pain anymore."

The children didn't move, they just continued to stare as my eyes frantically looked at each of them for any reaction or response.

But as I thought we would stare at the line of spirits forever, another figure appeared from behind them.

"You've got to kidding..." William let out a dark laugh.

"Hello Y/N.”

[obsidiancreates]

The Wrong Realization (But A Welcome One)

4,012 words long

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Jonah wakes up with a headache like he’s got a hangover. He groans, putting his arm over his eyes as the dim light of his bedroom tries to burn out his retinas. Even with all of his thickest curtains closed and fastened together, the sunlight is still too harsh. Must be the way it’s reflecting off the snow.

He falls out of bed more so than gets out of bed, and lays on the floor for a moment. He reaches up to his nightstand and manages to pull down his phone, which bonks him on the temple on it’s way down. That gets him to wake up, with a shout and a dash of fight-or-flight response.

He sighs, rubbing his eyes. He doesn’t even feel very rested! Granted, he did stay up most of the night listening to a new podcast he discovered... fascinating stuff, wonderful deep-dives into mythologies and legends from all over the world. Something a little lighter to relax to than his usual political commentary go-tos.

He stands up, and scrolls through his playlist until he finds a good morning podcast. He heads into the bathroom, ready to grapple with his hair to get it nice and presentable-

He looks into the mirror and freezes up. His hair is perfect. Exactly how he always strives to get it to look, and always falls just one stray strand short of. But now? Not a flyaway in sight.

“I could have sworn I took a shower,” he mumbles to himself. Maybe he just forgot to use shampoo? No, he would never. Maybe too much conditioner, then. But he’s always so careful not to overuse...

“I guess it saves time,” he says aloud. “No looking a gift horse in the mouth.” He picks up his toothbrush and gets to scrubbing, but pauses when he feels something stringy in his mouth.

He spits out the toothpaste foam, expecting a hair.

Instead, it’s a scraping of plastic from his toothbrush, and several bristles.

He stares for a moment, and then opens his mouth. Does he have something completely alarming stuck in his teeth? Did he somehow eat something metal?

... No, not as far as he can see. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Absolutely nothing. Completely fine.

On an unrelated note, the two little cuts in his lower lip that are perfectly aligned with his canines are starting to sting from the mint, so he hurries up and finishes brushing his teeth.

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The sun blinds him as he drives to work, and he has to manage mostly by listening to the traffic around him (which is absurdly loud today, he can hear it with his windows rolled up).

And the sunlight is harsh on his skin, too. Does he need to invest in better sunscreen? Maybe he should revisit that article he read about SPF effectiveness and how to choose the best one...

He gets into the parking lot and parks his car. He opens the door, and promptly slams it shut again with a yelp. His hands didn’t just feel burnt, it did burn!

Definitely needs to up his SPF! And research sudden sunlight sensitivity... his hand is bright pink.

He sits in the car for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. And then there’s a knock on his window. He startles, but relaxes when he sees it’s just Glenn. He rolls his window down just a bit. “Um, hi. Good-good morning, I mean.”

“Heyyyy, Jonah,” Glenn says with a smile. “So, um, I noticed you’re stuck in your car?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, no, I just um. Well you see I-I, um-”

“Need a hand?” Glenn’s smile is a bit strained, for some reason. “Because of the sun?”

“... Well I mean if-if you’re offering then it would be... rude to say no...”

Glenn opens up an umbrella, making Jonah shout in surprise. “Where did that-”

“Come on in under the shade!”

Jonah hesitates a moment, put off by Glenn’s... odd, energy. But he can’t stay in his car forever, so he gets out and walks in with Glenn under the safety of the umbrella.

“Thanks,” he says when they get inside. “I just um, I need to update my sunscreen, you know? And I just didn’t want to risk... my skin...”

“No, no, I completely get it,” Glenn assures. “The warm, life-giving rays of the sun can be very harsh sometimes!”

“... Y-yeah. Yeah.”

“Hey, um, Jerusha and I got you a gift, actually. She was so upset by the whole attack thing yesterday-”

“Oh, you guys didn't have to get me something-”

“Well, we wanted to, so um, here!”

Glenn hands Jonah a very, very wide-brimmed hat. There’s a little bat needle-pointed onto the sides. 

“Oh! Wow! Um, it’s... so big!”

“Maybe it’ll help until you update your sunscreen?” Glenn sounds hopeful. Too hopeful for Jonah to turn down. And... it would be functional, at least...

“Yes! Yes, I think this’ll be great for that, um, thank you! Thank you both, send Jerusha my-my thanks. For this. I can um, see she put some effort into customizing it! Just-just out of curiosity... why a bat?”

“Oh, well um, because of your situation.”

“... Situation, I don’t-”

“You know. The reason you burned?”

“... I still don’t understand-”

“HEYYYY, GUYS!” Amy butts in quite enthusiastically. “How’s it going this morning?”

“Oh, good!” Glenn says with a smile and a nod. “I was just giving Jonah this hat Jerusha made for him, because of his whole condition about being a vam-”

“OH HEY, Glenn, I actually really need your help with something!”

“Really?”

“Yes! Come over here, with me, to... softlines!”

“Oh, okay. I’ll talk with you later, Jonah!”

“Okay! Buh-”

Amy drags Glenn away, leaving Jonah with his hand up in an unfinished wave.

“... Bye. I-I was saying... bye.”

Jonah looks at the hat, and heads off to the breakroom.

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“So does Jonah have them?” Cheyenne is saying when Jonah enters the room.

“I mean, he looked like he did when he was chasing that lady-”

“Do I have what?”

Mateo and Cheyenne startle. “Oh, Jonah! We didn’t see you there! You were like... really, quiet,” Cheyenne says with a slightly strained smile.

“Yeah. So... sneaky.” Mateo looks similarly stressed.

“Well I, I did just get new ultra-soft shoes, very comfortable but I’m not sure about the long-term arch support... but um, what do I have?”

“Um... standards, for your fashion. Sometimes you have them, sometimes you don’t... usually only when you’re chasing, after... someone to flirt with.”

“Oh. ... You-you thought I was trying to flirt with that woman, last night?”

Cheyenne shrugs. “You did literally chase her into the parking lot.”

“I-I guess I did. But I wasn’t attracted to her I mean, I wasn’t attracted to any customers yesterday, even though there were a few good looking ones, that made me laugh... but-but I’m not- I mean, I wasn’t flirting with anyone-”

Jonah babbles on for a good five minutes before Glenn finally comes in and starts the meeting.

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Jonah sighs and rubs his eyes as he mops up a puddle of... it’s either slushie vomit or watered-down blood (though he’s leaning towards slushie vomit, something in him just says it definitely isn’t blood).

He leans against the mop and closes his eyes for a moment. So tired... he felt okay this morning, but as the day creeps on he feels less and less awake...

“Excuse me?”

Jonah startles, yelping and dropping the mop. The customer jumps back as the mop drops.

“I am so sorry!” Jonah exclaims. “I um, I-I think I feel asleep, um, how can I-”

Jonah pauses, at a loss for words.

The customer, a man around Jonah’s age, looks concerned. “You alright, man?”

“Huh?” Jonah’s face feels hot (the first bit of warmth he’s felt in two days). “Oh, um, I-I just, that was very unprofessional of me.”

The customer shrugs. “It’s a Cloud 9, professional isn’t really expected.”

Jonah chuckles. He clears his throat. “So, um, how can-can I help you?”

“I was looking for the recycled paper towels?”

“Oh, yeah, um... let me help you find those. They’re only half recycled, though.”

“I know. But you do what you can on a budget, right?”

“Right, yeah,” Jonah laughs. He can’t stop looking at the guy’s face... why does he feel all jittery?

“Um, here we are. The closest Cloud 9 gets to activism.” Jonah sticks his hands in his pockets and rocks on his heels. His mouth feels dry. Why is his mouth so dry? He licks his lips quickly while the customer isn’t looking.

“Better than I’ve been doing lately. Haven’t done a protest in months.”

“What kind of protests do you go to?” Why did he say that? He’s going to embarrass himself, oh no-

“Mostly wage labor ones, workers rights kind of things. Trying to get a union going at my job.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, well, I know unions don’t have a great reputation in a lot of places but-”

“No! I mean uh, I love unions! I-I’ve been wanting one here since I started working! Just uh, don’t tell my boss that, hah.”

The customer smiles at Jonah, and Jonah wonders if the floor actually fell out from under him or if that’s all in his head.

“Well, thanks for helping me find this. Maybe we can talk about helping each other’s unions efforts if I see you again.”

“Yeah!” Jonah flashes a bright smile. “Sure! Sounds-sounds great! Um was really nice to meet you!”

The customer smiles again and walks away, and Jonah needs to lean against the isle.

He lets out a heavy breath, wondering what the hell is going on and what he is feeling. He looks down the isle to see if anyone is watching him.

Mateo, Cheyenne, Marcus, and Dina are all staring.

Jonah quickly walks away, shame burning his cheeks. So they noticed something, too.

“-looked like he was about to eat him alive-”

He’s too busy being completely embarrassed by hearing them whisper that to wonder how he just heard it from three isles away.

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Jonah wakes up with a start as a cart rolls right over his leg. He shouts in pain and surprise, and then sighs at himself.

He peels the glue trap off of his face with a grimace. Cleaning the rat traps is a terrible time for his sudden and new case of what seems to be narcolepsy to strike. He sits up and rolls up his pant leg, expecting something nasty to greet him based on the crack he heard.

... Nothing. He frowns, and touches his leg. It doesn’t even sting.

“How did-”

“Jonah?”

Jonah looks up at Amy’s voice. She’s standing over him with a clipboard. “Oh, um... hi.”

“Hey. ... Why are you on the floor?”

“I was uh, cleaning the rat traps. And I... maybe fell asleep.”

“In the middle of the day?”

“... Yes...”

“Okay then. ... So um, I just... wanted to check in, for a minute. How’s it been going with customers?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean, have there been any... notable interactions, maybe, to throw an idea out there,” Amy says in her ‘I’m-hiding-the-real-reason-for-asking-this’ voice.

Jonah’s cheeks burn, and he’s sure he’s blushing. “They told you about that?”

“I... might’ve heard some gossip.”

“It-it was nothing, Amy. Really.”

“Are you sure? They said you keep looking at his neck-”

"Well I mean, he had a nice neck I-I guess but I was more looking at his face-”

“And that you licked your lips at him?”

“That-! My mouth was dry, and-and you know I hate chapped lips!”

“... And the hovering over him?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say hovering, more like just watching and... admiring... but that-that’s normal! I’ve been doing that since high school! A good ally normalizes these things, and-and when straight men, yeah, can admire other men in a-a completely! Normal way! Then it um, it helps... break down! The stereotypes!”

Amy looks... perplexed. She shakes her head. “Wait, what are we-”

“I mean, everyone does it, too! Like-like you! I’m sure you’ve looked at-at other woman, and admired their appearance, without feeling feelings for them, right?”

“Well, I guess, but- wait, Jonah, did you-”

“I mean we all wonder in college, right? But I don’t like, I mean there’s nothing wrong with liking both I just- I don’t, I wondered but I never-”

“Okay, um, this isn’t what I came over here to talk to you about-”

“Maybe there was a moment or two where I thought it might’ve been a thing but I-I never acted and if I did like both I would have acted on that, I think-”

“Okay! Um, you’re working through something right now, that is, not what I thought you were working through, so um, I’ll just check up on you later...”

Amy backs away as Jonah keeps recounting half-baked thoughts and unfinished sentences about his time in college and his roommates one friend who maybe had the best hair Jonah’s ever seen but their friendly hair-war was not flirting he swears...

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Jonah doesn’t chew the carrot, just rolls it in his teeth as he stares at the wall, lost in thought.

“... Not hungry for you lunch?” Sandra asks tentatively.

Jonah shakes his head, only half-hearing her.

“... Are you hungry for something else? Like... a customer?”

Jonah stops, and pulls the carrot out of his mouth. “You heard about that too?”

Sandra’s eyes widen, and she shakes her head.

“You did! Did- does everyone know about that?”

“Well, it-it’s been sort of, floating around-”

Jonah groans, putting his head in his hands.

“... So um... are you?”

“What? No! No, I am not hungry for him, that’s objectifying. Not that I- I mean, I’m a straight man, I can’t, objectify another man, because that implies attraction. ... Unless I’m playing into toxic masculinity stereotypes by believing that...”

“I don’t think you have to worry about falling into masculinity stereotypes,” Carol pipes up from another table.

Jonah looks at her, annoyed. Her eyes widen and she looks away. 

Jonah puts his head back into his hands. “This is a nightmare...”

“For all of us,” Sandra whispers.

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Jonah sighs, slumping over onto the customer service counter. Garrett just looks at him, waiting for whatever Jonah has in store.

“... It normal for straight guys to admire other straight guys appearances, right?”

Garrett blinks. “Wow, just some casual conversation, huh?”

“Just- I mean, I know people are talking about-”

“You eyeing up that dude earlier like he was a steak?”

“... Yeah. That.”

“Dude, I don’t think this is the issue you should be focused on right now.”

“I know, I know! I’m in my thirties, I should have this figured out and be focusing on more important things-”

“Not what I meant, actually, I meant the superpowers-”

“-but I don’t know, I’ve never really had anyone point it out before! And-and now I can’t stop thinking like, am I? Attracted?”

“You know there’s nothing wrong if you are, right?”

“Yes, I do, I’ve been to a bunch of rallies and stuff.”

“Did you oogle dudes at those rallies?”

“NO! ... I mean I guess I observed and-and appreciated-”

“Yeah, you might just be on the gay spectrum, dude. I don’t know what else to tell you. Except that, uh, you just accidentally slapped my shoulder and you’re as cold as a bag of ice, so maybe that should be your crisis of the day.”

Jonah is staring off into space, rubbing his arm. It doesn’t seem like he heard Garrett at all. Garrett just sighs, and rolls away.

Jonah stays there, contemplating, for quite a while.

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“Okay, no more dancing around it.”

Jonah jerks awake. Again. God, why can’t he stay awake? ... Probably because he stayed up all night.

“No, Cheyenne.”

Jonah looks around. He peeks into the next isle, and then the next. 

... Where the hell are Cheyenne and Amy? He can hear them so clearly...

“He’s like, totally oblivious to it!”

“He’ll realize it eventually, okay? It’s not some truth bomb we can just drop on him.”

“My friends drop truth bombs on me all the time, and it just brings us closer. Best bitches don’t lie to their best bitches.”

“... Right. But, it’s kind of something for him to take the time to process.”

“What if he doesn’t? He’s just gonna like, wander around forever making excuses and being all nervous and confused.”

“Well... then we’ll give him a push. But for now let’s just... give him some space. Let him come to terms with it on his own.”

Jonah is startled out of his accidental eavesdropping by hearing himself sniffle. He quickly wipes his eyes, sticks his hands in his pockets, and hurries away. He still doesn’t know how he heard them, maybe some kind of really weird echo or sound tunnel. So he goes to the other side of the store entirely and finds the chattiest customer he can.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He can feel Dina and Mateo staring at him as he restocks softlines. They whisper to each other, and he sighs and hangs his head. “You know, it makes it worse when you talk behind my back.”

Mateo yelps a little. He clears his throat and quickly composes himself. “Sorry. Uh, we were just talking about-”

“Yeah, no, I know. I’m... aware, okay? And I just would like to stop hearing about it for now, please.”

Mateo looks taken aback by the tiredness in Jonah’s voice, the... weary tone. Dina, however...

“Yeah, well, not exactly something to brush under the rug.”

“Why do you even care? It’s a me problem, okay?”

“Really? You think this doesn’t impact everyone?”

“How! Would it even do that?!”

“Well, let’s see! It made Mateo afraid, it made Amy all somber and worried about you, it made Glenn cry even more than usual-”

“It did?”

“He started a trust fund for your soul.”

“... Oh.”

Dina stops, her frown slowly becoming more confused. “You... didn’t realize that would happen?”

“... I don’t know, I guess I thought... thought he’d be more open-minded.”

“Glenn?”

Jonah takes a deep breath. Ugh, why’d it make his chest hurt? Why do his lungs feel like they don’t want the air? 

The next thing he knows he’s done with softlines (it felt like he got done in the blink of an eye) and walking away. He swallows down the lump in his throat, and the urge to comfort eat. God, he’s craving a snack now. Well, he has all day, but he’s been... a little distracted.

“Excuse me? Hello? Hey!”

Jonah looks up at the customer, still feeling drained and empty.

“Finally, god. How useless do they let you people be around here? I’m looking for the shock collars, my dog keeps licking me when I tell him not to.”

“... That’s a really, really shitty thing to do to your dog.” Jonah doesn’t really mean to say it, but he’s just sort of on autopilot now.

For some reason, the customer doesn’t reply. Just stiffens.

“Follow me. I’ll sort you right out.” Jonah thinks he smiles at them. But he can’t be sure, because at that moment he blacks out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonah shrugs his coat on, not looking anyone else in the eye as they all file out to clock out.

He waits until the very end, and clocks out last. Maybe he can avoid them all by waiting long enough?

Ugh, he can’t. He feels restless. Looking like another sleepless night already. Two in a row, great. Maybe that’s why he had that blackout. He still isn’t sure where the customer went, nor how he ended up in the No-Go zone of the Gardening Section...

Whatever. They were a jerk, anyway. Maybe he talked some sense into them? He did that during a blackout yesterday. Maybe it’s stress, then?

He keeps his head down as he thinks about it (trying to avoid some other, more introspective thoughts) and walks out.

He lifts his head as he exits the breakroom to find everyone standing in a group, smiling softly.

“Um... what’s going on?” He claps his hands behind his back. Please don’t let this be more teas-

“We know we’ve made you uncomfortable today,” Mateo pipes up. “And after talking to Garrett about your guys’s conversation, we realized we had the totally wrong idea about everything.”

Glenn steps forward and hugs Jonah. “I accept you no matter what,” he says firmly. “I would never start a fund to save your soul for being gay, that was a complete misunderstanding! You like whoever you like, Jonah!”

“And I didn’t mean to badger you,” Dina admits with her shoulder a little sunk. “I didn’t quite understand what you were going through in your head, and I made some assumptions. Wrong ones.”

“We all care about you, Jonah,” Amy says, prying Glenn off of the poor man. “Okay? We just want you to know that. Today we were being really, really shitty. But it won’t happen again.”

For the second time today, Jonah isn’t aware he’s crying until he hears himself sniffle.

“I just- I feel really, really stupid,” he admits, wiping his eyes with his palms. He laughs, not quite bitterly, but not happy. “I mean, I’m in my thirties. I-I had... so many obvious moments where I should have realized! How... oblivious, am I?”

There’s a bit of an awkward air to the group after that comment. But Amy hugs Jonah, and he feels a little... spark, in his chest. It’s nice. 

His chest has felt pretty heavy and empty all day.

“Everyone comes to terms with stuff at their own pace,” Amy says. “I lived in an unhappy marriage for years because I couldn’t accept the obvious. What matters is that you got to this point of realization, okay?”

Jonah hugs back. He thinks he feels Amy shiver, but he brushes past it. They pull apart, and Jonah sniffs and wipes his eyes again.

“And I um. I-I don’t think I’m... fully, gay,” he says slowly. He hesitates, mouth open, the words stuck. “I think... I think I’m Bi.”

There’s a moment of silence. He smiles a little, and stands a bit straighter. That feels... really right. “I think I’m Bi,” he repeats.

Sandra claps for a second, but no-one joins in. She lowers her hands slowly.

“Wow! Hah! That feels- wow! God, that feels good! Um,, what-what now, though?”

Garrett shrugs. “Flirt with some dudes? Some people in-between dudes and chicks? I don’t know, man, it’s your life.”

“Your long, long life,” Dina mutters to herself.

“Right! Oh, yeah, uh... that guy! From earlier! I-I think I want to see him again. Okay, uh, I’m going to go home, and-and maybe research some local protests he might be at-”

Everyone groans a little.

“Protester Jonah is the preachiest Jonah,” Garrett says, shaking his head.

“Can he still be preachy? Wouldn’t that hurt?” Cheyenne whispers to Glenn. 

Glenn shrugs. “I’ll ask Pastor Craig,” he whispers back.

Jonah doesn’t even notice. “Okay! I’m going to head home! I kinda feel like, I don’t know, like this is a whole new chapter in my life! Um, how do we- I mean how do- do we do a group hug, or-or maybe a high-five-”

“Or we just head home.”

“Yeah, no, Garrett’s right, head home. Let’s all head home!”

They all head out to their cars. Jonah gets into his, plops down into the drivers seat, and grins.

What a freeing realization! He doesn’t know how he missed it, it was all so obvious! 

Well, as far as he knows, there’s no other huge life-revelations waiting for him. He’s figured it all out, finally.

He starts driving home, humming along with the radio as the car next to him keeps pace, despite being in the faster lane. He never understands why people do that when the roads are empty. He chuckles to himself. Maybe he’ll realize that Life Mystery tomorrow.

What he doesn’t realize, neither when he gets home nor when he wakes the next morning, is that he never turned his own radio on. 

[jediofbooksandsnacks]

wounds

Each scar has a story to tell.

also on AO3

This is set after Kogami returns to Japan after Sinners of the System Case 3. Season 3 had not debuted when I wrote this, uhm, some time ago.

all my thanks to @whatsyourcolor, @sandypenguin6 and @saber-of-dreams for their beta reading skills. All mistakes are mine, and I’m not a medical professional so please tell me if I mixed anything up, yes?

~

The wan morning sunlight drew Shinya from restless sleep. The palm of his hand rubbed over his eyes as he blinked slowly awake, his legs shifting beneath the yellow sheets in the still bedroom. Everything around him waited, as though it had caught its breath in anticipation of something soon to happen.

He dropped his hand.

The clock said it was too fucking early for this.

Next to him, Akane slept with an unburdened face. Nothing pulled her mouth tight, nothing caught her brow and then vanished when he glanced at her. This waiting game was slowly driving him crazy, but he couldn’t push her. Not on this.

He sighed. Ran a hand through his messy hair, ran his tongue over his teeth. A deep breath had him sitting up, sheets falling to his waist. The bed squeaked as his feet met the floor and he rolled his shoulder to work out a kink as the nail marks she’d left behind twinged on his back. On the way to the bathroom, he picked up his abandoned boxer briefs.

Their night had been lustful, and he couldn’t remember when he’d tossed them aside and had buried himself in her, in her scent and her body. Time stopped when he was with her and he didn’t yet know if it was a blessing or a curse. The spigot washed soap from his hands over the low hum of water refilling the toilet. Their toothbrushes were in the holder, hers looked like she needed a new one. He spat the toothpaste out, rinsed. Decided to shave later. The cotton of his boxers was loose around his legs as he returned to the bedroom.

She’d shifted while he was in there. One foot draped off of the bed and her face was buried in a pillow, her mouth opened on a small snore. A print book was on her nightstand and a glass of water stood next to it, blurring the digital time on her clock. The bubble they created together, a place where their daily responsibilities were laid outside the door, slid through his thoughts as he lay back down next to the sleeping curve of her body.

A mole stood out against her pale skin, just beneath her left shoulder blade. Gentle fingers ran across it, trailing down the naked skin of her back. In sleep she rolled over and settled against him and the pillows, her brown hair falling across her face. It was soft as he brushed it back. The smell of chemical apples lifted from her shampoo filled his nose as he kissed her forehead.

The sharpness of her eyes, the curl of her hair tucked under her ear, the slope of her shoulder in the night; he wanted to fix this in his memory, the entirety of Akane, to recall in the long nights he knew were ahead.

In a few minutes she stirred and woke. The exhalation of her breath made goosebumps prickle his skin as her eyes blinked open to meet his. Flashes of a hundred things ran through her look, and he was struck by the fact that they could discover something new each morning ahead until they were old and gray and faced that last, final discovery; if he could only ask her. If they had that luxury. One hand touched his chest as she lifted herself and kissed his shoulder with her tired mouth. As she sat up, she gave out a jaw-cracking yawn while the sheets fell back and dim morning light caught on the smooth skin of scar tissue healed on her upper abdomen.

Evidence of the night before was in the bite mark on her shoulder, the hickey bruising her right breast.

“Be back in a minute,” she said sleepily and kissed him again before she got up to go to the bathroom. The fluid lines of her back bent as she picked up her own underwear and then closed the door behind her.

When the door clicked shut he lay back, his hand beneath his head. It was a struggle to still his mind and think of nothing.

The expectation of violence had been his life, as an enforcer and then as a guerrilla. Wars had been his purpose, and he was prepared at any moment to sacrifice himself for the good of something greater. But nothing, nothing at all, had prepared him for the way he’d died last night in her arms.

Soulmates, his destiny, the One; he hated that take. It was thoughtless. Regressive. It wholesale shattered the fire and blood and meaning each person struggled with to make a life worth sharing and replaced it with a ridiculous trick of fate. But that wanting hit on something as-of-yet unspoken between them. Something that was, for all of its ups and downs, inescapably true.

The bathroom door opened and her footsteps shuffled across the carpet. The bed did not sink quite so far as she slid into it again and curled her arms around his torso and managed to tangle her legs through his. One hand drew an absent line down his chest, and then back up, as her breath tickled his skin and her face settled flush against his neck. Cotton met his hand as it settled on her hip. Yawning again, her breath now minty fresh, she murmured, “How long have you been up?”

“Not long,” he said. Fingers traced up and down her back, making slow, steady progress.

She hummed. The midday deadline for his departure loomed in front of them and manifested in the ceaseless motion of her hands against the contours of his skin. Will they ever be free of the System and its demands on their attention, on their hard work, and on their sacrifices? Her fingers settled into a circle on his side, tracing from his hip to his ribcage and back again. Both of them handing in their resignations and retiring to a house in the countryside, like Saiga, almost made him mention it to her. But that hadn't ended so well for him, had it?

Absently, she kissed his chest.

Understanding their jobs and saying goodbye were two different things.

“When did you get this?” His hand skimmed across the puckered skin on her side, just beneath her ribcage. Dominators were her judge and occasional jury, but this looked like—

“I got shot while we were making an arrest.” Her hand curled in the center of his chest. “I was glad that Gino was there to pursue while Hinakawa radioed for help.”

Of course it was Gino. Gino and his steady presence, manifesting his own guardian enforcer version of Dime. For whatever else was going on, for whatever bullshit Gino was going through, Shinya knew that Gino would have been tempted to end those assholes for hurting Akane.

Gino’s one problem was that he fell into the trap of being Iago’s green-eyed monster. But Gino’s feelings towards Akane were that of an older brother looking out for little sis, and that hadn’t changed. Masaoka’s own role suited him, though Shinya was leery of saying that. Their healing relationship was still sometimes contentious.

“He’s a good friend,” she carried on, “though he’s always trying to be a warrior.” The motion of her hands on his skin made him shiver; she traced one of his scars with gentle fingers.

“You seem to attract them.” The conversation he’d had with Hanashiro many months ago resounded in his head.

Eyes bright with knowing insight sparkled in her otherwise obviously controlled and clearly quite serious face which was in absolutely no way fighting a smile. “Detective instincts.”

A more secure him would not draw her close and kiss her. A more secure him would not fight a battle with himself about any of this, hue be damned. A more secure him would say the hell with it and ask her to--

(Still.)

One of her legs came high, her warm knee brushing the hair on his thigh as they lost themselves in a long, slow kiss. When it ended, her hands fell into her habit of retracing his scars. The bullet slash on his neck, the deep cut on his chest, the mottled skin of a one on his side that had healed slowly and needed better medicine than they had available.

“I can feel that,” he said to break the silence, “but at a remove.” Her waiting eyes watched him, so many questions looming unanswered between them.

“I know.” Fingers splayed over the wound, briefly erasing the mark from their sight. Beneath the warmth of her hand, though, he felt that dead zone, that place holding his marked history. Only parts of that story had come out since he’d been back, something he felt almost a pull to tell her and bring reality back to their plastic and Hue-cleared world. Someday he’d tell her more. But not now.

He threaded his fingers through hers. Kissed them. The sorrow in her smile held grace as she laid her head on his shoulder.

Could he turn time back to that first click of the loaded gun? Does the passage of time only heal wounds, or set them in deeper? And how can you find absolution when each morning dawned on a fresh battle with your own demons?

He’d met people like that. He fought back against it every day.

Shinya buried his nose in her hair, inhaling lab-created apples once more. Fingers ran over her back as he set those thoughts aside as he murmured, “I’m not dead yet, you know.”

Contrite, she hummed. “Are my thoughts that clear?”

“I know you.”

“You do,” she sighed. “Then I’ll see you when you return.”

“Only if you make the same promise.”

Her nose pressed into his neck, her mouth gave him a light kiss beneath his jugular. One hand slid down to her hips while the other traced her back, his own body responding to having her so close. The curve of Akane’s hip sloped down beneath his hand, and on his way back up he brushed his fingers over her stomach and abdomen and between her breasts before he brought them to her jaw. Ran his knuckles along her cheek, kissed her nose.

Trust and worry warred there and something deeper. Darker. But there was nothing they could say unless they opened her own tightly closed doors.

And how could he push through them, when his own had opened barely a crack?

Her face was only inches from his own when he caught her lips in a kiss.

Notes:

[wiypt-writes]

Leave No One Behind

Ch1: You Gotta Have A Plan Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Chapter Summary: After returning from Sudan following their arrest, Sam and Ari go their separate ways…but Ari just can’t let things go. He needs a plan to break the refugees he left in the camp out. And he comes up with a plan so ridiculous that it just might work. That is, if he can pull together the right team.

Unfortunately he knows that the 2 people he probably needs and wants there the most, are going to be the toughest to convince. After all, they are siblings…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

A/N: Now, we believe from what research and reviews tell us, that RSDR takes place basically between 1979 and 1982 (the real Operation Brothers upon which it is based upon ran until 1984). To keep this as historically factual as possible, we have done all the research we can find on Mossad, the history of the Jewish people in the 40s through 80s…the rest is purely down to our imagination.

If anything is factually wrong, we mean no offence. Chalk it down to slight creative license and take this for what it is- a work of fiction.

“Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes, that call me on and on across the universe…”  Across the Universe by the Beatles

Leave No One Behind Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 March 1979

Ari Levinson was a man who very rarely liked to sit still. He’d been the same as a boy, always needing to be doing something. And right now, even in a dark, sweaty, smelly cell in Sudan he was no different. Using the bars in the roof that gave them the only light and air into the area, he was doing pull ups, counting his way up to 100. When he finished his reps he dropped down with a sigh and made his way over to sit by Sammy who was leaning against the wall.

Ari glanced over at his friend, his fellow agent who simply looked at him without saying a word, and then looked away, both of them glancing up as Kabede, their in-country contact so to speak, walked over and sat besides Sammy.

“I heard the guards talking.” he said softly in his thick, African accent as Ari sat, his arms hanging over his knees. “They think we are smugglers. We need to get out of here.”

“Mr. Guy Thomas.” one of the guards called. All 3 of them exchanged a look, before Ari stood up and made his way to the cell door.

“You called?” he asked.

“You, and your friends…” the guard said, gun slung over his shoulder “You come with me…”

They did as they were told and were ushered into a small room, where they were unceremoniously handed their gear and told they were free to go. Ari did nothing but smile at Sammy, who rolled his eyes, because it was a knowing joke between everyone who ever ran a mission with Ari that he could fall in pig shit and come out smelling like roses.

Ari fished a packet of cigarettes out of his back pack, along with his shades and slipped them onto his eyes. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out into the sun, lighting his cigarette as he went. He paused for a moment, looking at the man who was leaning against a blue car, watching him. He jerked his head and Ari stepped towards him.  

“And you are?” Ari asked, eyeing him up.

“I'm the reason you're out of there.” The man said, pushing himself off the car. Ari exchanged a look with Sammy as the man continued “Walton Bowen, American.”

“No shit.” Sammy said, his eyes still on the man as Ari shook his hand.

“Yeah?” Walton looked at him before he moved to shake his hand too “Cultural attaché, the embassy in Khartoum.”

“Oh. Well, you must have your hands full, considering the flourishing cultural scene in Sudan.” Ari said, the sarcasm evident in his tone and Walton gave a little laugh.

“Not nearly as flourishing as you with your anthropology studies, I'm sure.” Walton said, his voice level but Ari could detect the note of disbelief he carried. “We got a call from DC, you gents had gotten yourselves into a bit of a pickle.”

As Ari kept his eyes on the man and his face straight, besides him Sammy pointed

“Is that our stuff in the back of your car?”

Ari looked at Sammy then round to the car as Walton nodded.

“Yes, it is.  I'm sorry about the hasty packing…” he said, gesturing to the car “…but I know you have a flight in less than five hours to London.”

Ari snorted, shaking his head a little. Of course we do, damned it Ethan.

“Where are you off to after that, boys?” Walton continued.

Ari didn’t reply, instead he chuckled, and turned from the man, walking over to where Kabede was stood a few feet away.

“Looks like they're calling me back. Are you gonna be okay?” Ari asked

“Yes” Kabede assured him “I will bring more families.”

“We'll find a better way.” Ari nodded, giving the man a friendly embrace, patting him on the back before he turned around and walked back towards Walton and Sammy.

“Hope you got my toothbrush…” he said, not stopping as he passed them both and made his way to the car. “It’s new.”

After a few hours layover in London, they were called to a desk and given tickets for a flight back to Isreal for an hour later.  Ari fell asleep before the taxi down the runway had even finished and awoke a few hours later, stretching and ordering himself a beer. Before much longer the plane began it’s descent into Ben Guiron Airport and Ari let out a sigh. He knew he should be glad to be home, but he wasn’t. He hated leaving a job half done. But he wouldn’t deny he was looking forward to a shower. He felt disgusting, looked disgusting, smelt disgusting. Thank fuck Ethan had the sense to book an entire row out for him and Sammy each.

They cleared customs easily and were met by a driver who waved them over to a car.

“Home?” The man asked Ari as he took his bags from him to take them to the trunk. .

“Office.” Ari corrected, as he wrenched open the passenger door of the car. “You coming?” he asked Sammy as he sat down.

“Nah. Nah, I'm going back home.” Sammy looked at him.

“What?” Ari said, frowning as he got back out, leaning on the roof of the car.

“Back to the clinic.” Sammy said with a small smile.

Ari looked around, before he shut the door and walked over to Sammy, his mouth open in surprise.

What the hell are you talking about?” he asked gently.

“I called Ethan back in London, got a message to Hannah. She’s picking me up.” Sammy said taking a deep breath “I'm done.”

Sammy moved to pull Ari into an embrace, which Ari returned, albeit it a little half- heartedly as he was still reeling from Sammy’s revelation.

“Why?” he asked, patting Sammy on the back.

“I love you, man.” Sammy said, pulling away “You're a lucky guy. But when the luck runs out, then... you gotta have a plan, and you never have one. So... I'm out. “

Sammy looked around.

“You're out?” Ari said flatly, his eyebrows raising.

“I'm out.”

“Sammy.” Ari said gently as Sam turned away. He paused and turned to face Ari again, smiling.

“Goodbye, my friend.”

Sam quickly walked away down towards the pick-up area outside the terminal, as Ari called his name again, a little louder, but he ignored him.

Ari sighed and looked upwards, wiping a hand over his face before he glanced at Sam’s retreating back just in time to see a flurry of dark, wavy hair rushing towards him. Ari continued to observe from a distance as Sammy hugged his sister back, her face pressed into the side of his neck, Sammy gently rubbing at her back. When he finally let her go, Ari finally got a look at her and he had to smile. The last time he had seen Hannah had been almost 3 years ago, at her husband Andy’s funeral and Ari was pleased to see she looked better than she had that day. Her hair was longer, her cheeks were fuller again, no longer hollow with grief. Her skin was darker, more tanned...she looked healthy, back to her vivacious self along with, he hoped, that spark that bounced in her deep blue eyes, Eyes he knew so well.

He had first met Hannah through Sammy when she was 17, and he was 24. He had liked her from the off, despite being 7 years older than her and there’d been a spark, there was no denying that. But for various reasons, despite a 3 month long sort of fling, it hadn’t worked out. He’d backed off, instead admiring her from afar, constantly telling himself he was too old and no good for her, and then he had met Sarah. Their relationship at first had been based on total, physical attraction and had been a total whirlwind. They had married later that same year after discovering Sarah was pregnant, Ari wanting to do the right thing by her. Their daughter Maya was born 7 months later and for the first 4 years, he had to admit he’d been happy.

Meanwhile, Hannah had started dating another one of their agents and friends, Andy Horowitz. They’d married too and then sadly mere months after they had married Andy had been killed on a mission they’d been running some 3 years ago, a mission Ari had been in charge of.

Hannah said she didn’t blame Ari, but he’d seen it written on every inch of her pretty face. She’d hardly been able to look him in the eyes since Andy’s death, and as a result he had made no effort to reach out in the 3 years since Andy’s funeral. Which he knew was a selfish, shitty thing to do on his behalf, as they’d all been so close, family close even, but Hannah had always worn her heart on her sleeve and he couldn’t face the turmoil and heartbreak she was emanating.

Sammy assured him she didn’t hold him at fault, not really and that she was just upset, compounded  by the fact she hadn’t been there and was only hearing everything 2nd hand. But still, it did nothing to assuage Ari’s guilt. Andy’s life cut so tragically short, and Hannah left widowed at such a young age…

The driver’s voice shook Ari out of his thoughts, and when his eyes focussed again he realised he was staring at nothing. Hannah and Sammy both long gone. With a nod to the man he climbed back in the car and they set off for HQ.

**** "You're pissed." Sammy told his sister, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

Hanna didn't answer. She stared at the license plate of the car right before them as if it was the magic combination to some sort of treasure chest. She was avoiding looking at her brother. Of course she was pissed, that was out of the question, but she didn't want to discuss that in the middle of the early evening exasperating traffic. Why was the way out of the airport always so crammed with cars?

Sammy turned to look at her and read the signs like an open book. White knuckles from the intensity with which her hands where holding the steering wheel, furrowed brow and a twitch of the mouth where she was biting the inside of her right cheek. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are pissed. I can tell, Hannah."

"No, I'm not" she replied trying to sound as convincing as possible and hit the car horn three times. "Oh, come on! We all have places to be!"

"Yes, you are. And honking the horn while in a traffic jam won't get you anywhere quicker, you know that?" Sammy said raising an eyebrow at her sudden outburst.

"No, it won't. But it will keep me from slapping you across your stupid face." she bit back, admitting her irritation.

"Ok." Sammy said preparing for what was about to come slouched on the passenger seat "What's on your mind?"

"Damnit, Sammy. You know full well what's on my mind. You know perfectly fucking well." she hissed without even bothering to look at him.

He sighed and nodded as an only answer. Avoiding his sister's gaze, he turned and looked through the passenger window.

"Yet, there you go again." she resumed after a minute, once she had steadied her voice and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Getting yourself arrested. You could have been killed right there on the spot! I just ...."

"Hey…" Sammy said gently rubbing her thigh "It’s ok. I'm ok, right?"

Hannah nodded and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. There were a few minutes of silence in the car as the traffic resumed and Sammy waited patiently for his sister to get herself together before speaking.

"I spoke to Ethan from London, told him I'm out." Sam said.

"What?" Hannah asked surprised looking at her brother before rapidly turning her eyes to the road ahead.

"That last mission... it was just... I'm done. Can't do it anymore." Sam fumbled with the words while he rubbed the scars on his right hand with his left one.

Hannah looked at her brother again, before she sighed, concern flooding her system.

"What happened Sammy?"  she asked, her tone soft “It must be something bad to make you want to leave it all behind.”

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. It's just… I'm tired of all that shit and need to get out, that's all." Sam replied trying to convince his sister and, most importantly himself, it was the right decision. 

The sight of that woman letting herself drown in the river had taken a toll on him. It haunted him at night and whenever he closed his eyes. He could have done more, he should have saved her, he should have found her under that muddy water and swum with her to safety. But he hadn't been able to and he didn't want to go into another mission where he would lose lives instead of saving them. 

"So, what's the plan?" Hannah asked a moment later trying to snap her brother out from the place he seemed to be lost in.

"The plan is getting home, have a shower, eat something decent and sleep till the new full moon." Sam deadpanned with a faint smile.

"I’d also consider a haircut." Hanna quipped smiling at him. "That mop doesn't suit you, neither does the moustache!"

"Yeah, well. Not much you can do when you're down there and under for six weeks." Sam stated before he smiled at her "You, on the other hand, look great, Han" 

"Well, that's what you get when you shower and wash your clothes. You stink." she said winking at him and he laughed.

"Seriously though, what are you gonna do? “ Hannah asked him after a moments pause “You gotta have a plan."

"That's exactly what I told Ari..." Sammy shrugged and Hannah’s head whipped once more to look at him.

"Ari?" she asked double checking her brother "Was Ari on the mission with you? Actually, don’t bother answering because of course he was..." she trailed off.

"That reckless, lucky son of a bitch who never seems to have a back-up plan." Sam said before lighting a cigarette. “He was there alright.”

"I'd say the man without a plan has some things very well planned." she mused while tapping the steering wheel with her fingers.

"Yeah, well, as I told him I wanna go back to the clinic. If that's ok with you, that is."

"Of course it is Sam. It's our clinic, remember? And we could do with your help, in fact, it would be a blessing. We've been very busy lately." she said excited by the prospect of having her brother with her again. "Mum will be thrilled to hear that.” “How is she?” Sam asked.

“She’s ok.” Hannah said “I’ve been trying to get her to take it easy, consider retiring but…you know what she’s like.” Sammy snorted “Stubborn, opinionated, always thinks she knows best…that’s where you get it from.” Hannah merely raised her eyebrow and smirked a little. “I dare you to tell her that on Sunday…” “Sunday?” “Yeah, she hasn't told you yet but you're coming for lunch." Hannah smirked as Sammy rolled his eyes, smiling fondly “And she won’t take no for an answer.”

***** “Ladies and gentlemen. This afternoon, historic documents concluding the Treaty of Peace between the Arab Republic of Egypt and the State of Israel will be signed…” Ari could hear the reporter on the news growing louder as he strode through the Mossad HQ towards Ethan’s office.

“Is he in?” he asked Ethan’s secretary, not bothering to wait for an answer.

“Wait, don't go in there…”

“Thanks.” he said, ignoring her as he pushed the door open, giving a small annoyed huff of a laugh as he tossed his back pack to his left where it landed with a thud. He then made his way over to the decanter of scotch on the shelves to the right of the room, Ethan not even bothering to look at him from where he was leaning against his desk, his own tumbler in hand, watching the TV, dressed in a crisp black suit and white shirt as always, his tie impeccably knotted.

“The Prime Minister is about to sign the most important peace accord in our lifetime and he can't enjoy it because of some remote tribe of our people getting massacred on a continent no one cares about.” Ethan said a little emotively, his British accent crisp as ever as he took a sip of his drink.

“Well, maybe you should let me do my job instead of pulling me out.”  Ari said, picking up his drink and turning towards the couch at the side of the room.

“Your job includes getting arrested?” Ethan asked, as he stood up straight and turned off the TV. Ari sighed as he slumped on the couch, one leg bent with his foot resting on the low coffee table in front of him “Or is this just another by-product of you being reckless and totally out of control?” he looked at Ari for the first time  since he had walked into the room.

“Sudan. My god, Ari…” Ethan snorted angrily, picking up his decanter to top up the glass. “An enemy country in a perpetual state of... fucked-up-ness. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that hiding refugees in a refugee camp was a pretty brilliant idea.” Ari said simply with no trace of irony, as he scratched at an itch on his side before necked his liquor.

“And how do you propose to get them out of there?” Ethan looked at him.

Ari sighed and placed the empty glass on the side next to the phone “Still working on that.”

“This job pays in migraines.” Ethan shook his head as he crossed the room and topped up Ari’s glass. “You look like shit.” he said, pointing to him with the hand that held the decanter which he placed on the coffee table.

“Thank you.” Ari replied “Smell like shit, too. I was under for six weeks.” he reached for the now once again full glass as Ethan sat on a chair opposite him.

“How's Sarah?” Ethan asked.

Ari looked down, his finger tapping on the rim of the glass before he placed it back on the side and slumped down on the sofa again, his eyes focussing downwards on his thigh as it bent upwards in front of him, his hand hooking underneath it.

“She left me.”

“Your life's a mess.” Ethan stated and Ari simply raised his eyebrows in agreement “Well, maybe this is a blessing in disguise, then.”

“What is?” Ari asked, as Ethan took a drink. “Are you taking me off this?”

“Exfil is going to come up with some alternative plans for the Ethiopians.” Ethan said as Ari tipped is head back with a frustrated sigh, his hands flying out to his side. “Then we'll discuss with the boss how best to move forward.”

“Ethan, don't do that.” Ari pleaded sitting forward “You know those guys are morons, they're gonna waste months on plans that aren't viable.  Months that we don't have. You gotta send me back.”  

“Go home, take a shower, spend some time with the family.”

“Ah Fuck!” Ari sighed, before his voice grew louder and he crossed his arms, taking on the tone and appearance of a sullen child “No.”

“No?” Ethan looked at him “It's done, Ari. You're not going anywhere.”

And that was that. Ethan wasn’t for turning. In the end Ari had stormed out of the office, his mood darkening by the second, and it didn’t get any better when he arrived home to find the place dark, empty and a message from Sarah on the answer phone telling him she’d taken Maya to her parents place.

Her parent’s place in fucking New Jersey

“Spend some time with the family…” Ethan’s words rang around his head as he slumped on the bed, beer in hand looking at the now empty side of the closet that had contained most of Sarah’s clothes.

Yeah, chance would be a fine thing.

**** Ari spent the following days on a semi-comatose state. He kept strict grooming and feeding habits, which was something he quite enjoyed after six weeks of not being able to give much thought to it.  He also took care of the chores now that it was only him at the house and set up a work-out routine to keep his one-track mind occupied and allow himself to physically blow off some steam. 

He was frustrated to say the least. Frustrated at being pulled out by Ethan, who wasn't even willing to reconsider his reinstatement for the time being. And frustrated on how, and it ached to admit, he missed his daughter. He had seen Maya last before leaving for Ethiopia and he had told her, and so had he thought at the time, he would come back home and spend all the time possible with her. But she wasn't there when he came back. 

Surprisingly enough, he didn't miss Sarah or, at least, not in the way he should. He did miss spending time with his family or the feeling of having a family to get back to and Sarah was part of that family. And, to tell the truth, he had never been home in this house alone. And, though he was beginning to come to terms with the fact this was his life going forward, he wasn't sure if he liked it. But, on the other hand he was also relieved. Sarah and he had been strained and fighting for so long before he left for the mission that her leaving had almost been a relief.  And, in a sense, he was glad she had done it before he was the one who had to suggest that maybe they needed to concede things weren't working between them because, frankly, Ari Levinson was a chicken shit when it came to stuff like that

But what Ari wasn't was cut out for the mundane, office life. A couple of weeks later his mind was in a state of turmoil. He took a trip out to New Jersey for a few weeks under Ethan’s instructions where he spent some quality time with Maya and had a very frank discussion with Sarah. The papers she had left him to sign upon his return from Ethiopia were legal documents which would enter them both into a legal period of 2 years separation and upon the conclusion therefore a Divorce would be mutually agreed. There was no way back for the pair of them, and he was relieved that she felt the same way and signed the papers in presence of an attorney who assured him this was the easiest, least messy way to go about things. Sarah had also agreed to return to Tel Aviv at some point as she conceded that keeping Maya at the other side of the ocean wasn’t fair to him or her. But when that would be, she never said.

All in all he wasn’t feeling great when he returned to HQ at the end of April especially when he was told that Exfil had yet to come up with any decent sort of plan. He told Ethan, once again, that they were fucking morons but was told to steer well clear. But Ari had never been one to stay out of things, or pay any attention to his boss when he thought he knew better. Day and night the idea of getting the refugees out of that Sudanese refugee camp was still haunting him. He had to come up with something and it had to be as soon as possible, before those Exfil idiots fucked it up completely. So after weighing up the situation for week or so more, he decided to get on with it off radar. He knew the best way to get Ethan to hear him out would be coming up with a fool-proof plan-something so absurd, far-fetched if you will, that no one would suspect they were smuggling Jewish refugees out of Ethiopia. 

So he did it by stealth, getting on with his normal duties of paper work and communicating with other Intelligence Operatives across the globe playing the co-ordination role Ethan had dumped him in and putting the final touches on the last mission reports he had been doing at Mossad Head Quarters. His day job so to speak.

The night times, however, well, they were his own. And he used them to do a bit of research of his own. 

He tried not to be spotted when he went to the archives department and asked the assistant there for a specific microfilm. Last thing he wanted was Ethan or one of his subordinates sniffing he was up to something. At least not before he could flesh his plan out in order to give a proper presentation to Ethan.

And finally, after an arduous period of research and countless sleepless nights it came to him, one warm night at the end of June. He was examining one map of the area on the computer when he noticed the sea. They could do it, the answer had to be in the sea. Ari felt a sudden surge of optimism and started digging into the different possibilities for a way out through sea instead of land and a feasible cover. His smile reached his eyes when he spotted just what he was looking for and a hunch told him to go for it. 

It took a few days for him to pull everything together and get what he needed, and contact the people he needed. Which was why, early one July morning he was pacing the Comms room, rubbing his beard nervously, ironically dressed in the same clothes he had been in a few days prior when the idea had originally occurred to him. It was funny now, how he didn’t have Sarah pecking his head about his outfits he simply donned his preferred casual clothing to the office, something his single friends at work seemed to do a hell of a lot. Speaking of which, he was feeling stressed out after a heated argument with his estranged wife over the phone earlier that day about him seeing Maya. She had kept her side of the bargain, returning to Tel Aviv, but as a result he’d moved out of the house, renting a two bed apartment not too far from what had been their family home. He’d had regular access and visits to his daughter, which had been fantastic, but tonight he’d been due to take Maya out for dinner. However, Sarah had changed her mind at the last minute, something to do with her work shifts and it being a school night. When he had pointed out that she didn’t give a shit about her school when she took her over to New Jersey for the best part of a month she’d simply called him an asshole and put the phone down. Unable to concentrate on anything he’d gone for a run and returned to the office when it was dark and most of the people had gone, to find there was still no communication waiting for him, to let him know if his plan was going to work.

And then, finally the fax from the Sudanese Tourist Board arrived and he knew he had a great plan. Now, he had to sell it to Ethan and it couldn't wait, despite the ungodly hour…

“Ethan! I have an idea.” Ari said as he climbed the stairs to Ethan’s apartment, backpack over his shoulder, his arms laden with rolled up maps and papers.

“It’s four o'clock in the morning.” Ethan said exasperatedly.

“It's a really good idea.” Ari assured him as he continued up the stairs. Ethan simply stood back as he entered his apartment “Do you always sleep in a silk robe?” Ari asked, turning to look at him before he headed into the living room. Ethan paused for a moment before he followed him in, shutting the door behind him.

Ethan listened patiently as he explained his plan, and for the most part simply nodded. When Ari finished, Ethan leaned back and smiled softly at him, his fingers drumming on the map Ari had spread over the table.

“You know what Ari…” Ethan said, a smile on his face “This is so ludicrous…it might just work…but you’ll need a good team.”

Ari smirked and handed Ethan another piece of paper, watching as his boss scanned down the names of the Agents and former Agents he had identified.

“This…” Ethan looked at him, shaking his head “This is not a team, it’s a recipe for disaster!”

“They’re the best of the best…” Ari shrugged.

"But the Navons?” Ethan looked at Ari, shaking his head in disbelief “You mean you want both of them? Seriously after everything that’s-?”

"Oh, no, my bad…” Ari said, cutting him off and reaching over and scribbling something on the paper as Ethan let out a sigh of relief before he looked up, his eyes twinkling as Ethan let out a groan as he spotted the correction Ari had made to the name. “She’s a Horowitz now..."

**** It took them a week to get all the details fleshed out to a point where Ethan was happy to take it to his superiors. Ari would have done it that same morning he had gone knocking on Ethan’s door but his boss had insisted on details and plans…something Ari wasn’t all that bothered by, preferring to work in the spur of the moment. Still, Ethan had insisted that he wouldn’t be able to sell the idea without answering questions, and had lectured him in great detail on the 5Ps, or 6 Ps in this case…

Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance…

He had to admit, however, Ethan had been right. As he began to spell out his ideas and plans to Isaacs, the Mossad Chief, he found himself being able to speak confidently, not just because he had conviction in his idea, but because he never once found himself lacking the ability to explain.

“The majority are coming in from Gondar and Tigray right there…” Ari said, leaning over from his chair to point at the map which was spread out on the desk. “But we can't land our planes anywhere near there.”

“Why?” Isaacs asked, looking at Ari from where he sat in his chair.

“Derg brought in the Russians and Cubans. It's limiting everyone's mobility. The chance of landing a plane without being noticed is non-existent.” Ari explained “The only way to get a substantial number out is by sea.”

“Ethiopia's practically landlocked.” Isaacs said, leaning forward and gesturing at the map.

Ari nodded in agreement, his hand rubbing at his beard before he looked at Ethan who was sat next to him in the other chair. Ethan inclined his eyes at Isaacs, instructing Ari to continue, so he did.

“But Sudan isn't.”

Isaacs paused from looking at the map and then glanced at Ari to Ethan and then back again.

“Seriously?”

Ari nodded.

Isaacs leaned back. “Something tells me this is going to take a bit longer than a few hours to explain…”

Ethan smiled a little and nodded “You could say that, yes.” “Ok…” Isaacs sighed, reaching for his phone “Let me make a few calls. I need to get my advisors down here…and food.” So that’s what he did. Ari found himself repeating various points again and again to different people as they headed in with various files, paper, pens…and he was getting a little frustrated as the night started to draw in. But he kept calm, taking his lead from Ethan who jumped in whenever he could sense Ari was starting to lose his cool a little, and Ari was thankful for the fact his boss was there.

“How long does it take to get from Sudan to Sinai by boat?” Isaacs asked.

“It takes three days.” Ethan began “You can…” “Just a-- Hold on a sec.” Isaacs said as Ari dropped his hands to his hips, leaning back against the large cupboard he was stood in front of. “Even if this could work, you'd need a team of agents on the ground. A team with international background.” Ethan and Ari exchanged a look, and both nodded at Isaacs as he continued “How are you gonna keep our agents that long inside an enemy state?”

“This is where it gets really good.” Ethan said, nodding at Ari who pulled an aerial shot out of the pack of files he had brought with him. Ari handed it to Isaacs.

“Red Sea Diving Resort. It's a hotel built by an Italian company in the early '70s.” Ari explained as he walked back to his leaning post, arms folded. “Fifty kilometres north of Port Sudan. The Italian company abandoned it five years ago.  Now the Sudanese government is looking to lease it, to boost tourism.”

The room fell silent as Isaacs looked at the photo, his expression perplexed which then morphed into surprise. He looked at Ari, how shifted a little uncomfortably, waiting for him to comment on the idea. Instead Isaacs stood up, and moved to his phone.

“Ask the Defence Minister if he can join us.” he said simply, and Ethan glanced at Ari, giving him a smile.

About twenty minutes later, the Defence Minister a Mr Henry Weiss joined them and listened carefully to what they had to say, Ari explaining once again what the outline of his plan was. It took him another hour, and it felt like he had been explaining this all day. Which, in reality, he had.

“Let me get this straight.” Weiss said, sitting on the edge of the desk as Isaacs sat in the chair behind hit, both hands behind his head as he was flanked by various other people from his agency, all of them watching Ari who was sat perched on another unit to Weiss’ right “You want Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service, to purchase an abandoned hotel from the Sudanese government.”

“Lease, but yeah.” Ari said, nodding, his hand curling around his chin and mouth in an L-shape.

“Abandoned because?”

“Because the area where it's located is lawless. It's controlled by the Hadandawa.” Ari said, and for the first time he started to feel a little less confident.

“By the who?” Weiss looked at him

“It's a Bedouin tribe.” Ari supplied.

“Translates, The Lion Clan” Tellem, one of the military agents stood around the room supplied “Known for cannibalizing their enemies.”

“No…” Ari quickly began to protest as Isaacs glanced at the military agent who had spoken. “That's...” he took a pause and looked at Ethan who shifted and stared at Ari. And Ari knew why, because he hadn’t told any of this to Ethan. “ No, that's... not anymore.” Ari folded his arms in front of him. “Now it's... human trafficking. -Girls to Jedda, that sort of thing—“

“This... just gets better and better.” Ethan looked at Ari.

“So, your idea, just to reiterate…” Weiss drew the attention back to him “Is to send a group of Jews to a Muslim country, to a place where they might get eaten by Bedouins, to run a fake hotel, in order to rescue a group of black Jews who might or might not survive a 1,000-kilometer walk across the desert, to be smuggled out to sea by Israeli Navy Seals to an Israeli ship.”

“Disguised as a petroleum service vessel, yeah.” Ari said, smiling slightly.  

“That's ridiculous.” Tellem said with a sigh.

There was silence around the room. Ari looked up, and could take no read on anyone’s body language. He locked eyes with Ethan who gave him a sympathetic look and he let out a breath shaking his head.

Back to the drawing board.

“Is NATCOR still operational?” Weiss asked suddenly as Ari stood up.

“Yep” Isaacs replied, his eyes on Ari.

“What's NATCOR?” Ari frowned, hands on his hips.

“It's a shore company in Switzerland we use for large transactions.” Isaacs said simply

“How large?” Ari asked, not sure what this had to do with anything.

“Like leasing a hotel.” Isaacs said.

Well, shit!

With a small smile, one that was more from shock than victory he looked at Ethan who eyed him appraisingly.

“How long do you need?” Weiss asked and looked at Isaacs.

“I can pull the strings in NATCOR in a week or so but I need to know how much we need and when for.” Isaacs said, and once again all attention turned to Ari and Ethan.

“We’ll need a couple of months to pull the team together, get everything organised…leasing agreements that sort of thing…” Ethan said, looking at Ari

“Give me 3 months.” Ari nodded in agreement. “Maximum.”

*****

It turns out that the Sudanese Tourism Board play hard ball. 6 weeks it took. 6 fucking weeks to negotiate a price and a timescale. Originally they’d been willing to lease the Diving Resort from the middle of March until, after agreement of a slightly higher price, they had brought the date forward to January. That was still too far away for Ari’s liking, but as Ethan had reminded him if they missed even one cross on a t or a dot on an I, they were done for.

Finally, at the end of August, they had ironed out every crease they could see, and the confirmation that they had been accepted to hire the abandoned resort came through. A week later, at the start of September, Ari left Tel-Aviv again to start his recruiting spree. First stop, a Pan Am plane with destination Belize. 

He was having a coffee and tapping some stray sugar grains on the table surface with his index finger's pad absent-mindedly when his plane was called. His mind went to Maya as he waited in line, boarding pass in hand. He’d spent a lot of time with her over the last week, deliberately, and he knew she understood why he didn’t live with them anymore, but she hadn’t understood why he was going to be going away again. And then, on the last day before he left she had been especially quiet and brooding. Ari had tried to make small conversation with her but had failed and had opted to explain to his daughter why he had to go, as best as he could. She still hadn't reacted as Ari expected and he had to admit defeat. The final blow had come when he had asked Maya about the drawing he was holding of her family, a drawing he was absent from, and she had told her father he wasn't in the picture because he was at work. He hadn’t mentioned it to Sarah, it simply wasn’t worth the hassle.

"You've got to be kidding me" Rachel Reiter said to Ari with a chuckle as she stopped at the end of his row, trolley before her "What are you doing on this flight?" she added impersonating the perfect flight attendant.

"I'd like some tomato juice, please." Ari ordered with a smile.

She served him his tomato juice and sat on the free seat next to him. Ari explained to her he had pulled some strings to find out which flight she would be working. Not that Rachel needed to know. She was perfectly aware of what Ari was capable of and how Mossad worked. Thus, she explained the mission she was on, having scanned the briefcase of a passenger, a PLO accountant. 

Ari spent the following five minutes explaining briefly what the mission he was attempting to recruit her for consisted of.

"Ex is in stable asshole condition. Kids are perfect." Rachel told Ari when he asked about her family.

"And you're ok leaving them for an unknown amount of time?" he asked waiting for the confirmation she was in.

"If we don't do something no one will" was what Ari replied Rachel after she asked him to give her a good enough reason to enrol. And that was more than enough, as she smiled and nodded imperceptibly.

"Tell me one last thing." Rachel said standing up and brushing her skirt. "Who's in Belize?"

"Excuse me?" Ari asked with a poker face.

"I know you Ari. I've been running small missions on flights for the past 5 months, they must have told you. And yet you have chosen exactly this one to come talk to me?" she said whispering as she leaned to grab the tray where the now empty glass of tomato juice lay.

"Wait and see Rachel." he said with a broad smile. "I'll be in touch soon."

*******

It was hot, very hot when, a day later Ari sat at a table in a beach bar in Half Moon Caye waiting for Jake to finish his private lesson. Not exactly a diving one.

"What brings the great Ari Levinson all the way to Belize?" Jake Wolf greeted Ari from the door of the decompression tank, wearing nothing more than a dazzling smile.

"I have a unique mission to offer you." Ari told him "But I'm not gonna offer you anything until you cover yourself up" he joked watching as Jake approached him, arms open to give him a hug.

Jake ignored his friend’s request and after brazenly taking a cigarette out of Ari's packet sat on the chair facing him. Ari explained to Jake that he needed someone with expertise and diving skills for a mission related to what in Jake's words was a bloody genocide no one gives a shit about because it's in Africa.

So when Ari told him that his Prime Minister had decided to give a shit, he was convinced he had gained Jake's adventurous spirit and he would be on board. 

An hour and some beers later, Ari had explained to Jake the mission in detail and they both had caught up on their lives.

"Be ready to be called in in about a month give or take." Ari told Jake who nodded. 

"Why don't you stay a couple of days? Look around you. This is paradise, my friend." Jake said a big grin and open arms pointing at the white sand beach and tropical palm trees.

"I have a flight tomorrow morning." Ari had to refuse his friend’s offer, implying he had still places to be and people to recruit.

"Where to?" Jake asked knowingly.

"Amsterdam." Ari answered before puffing his cigarette. “At least that’s where my next victim was last time I checked…”

Jake just nodded, a faint glimmer of a smile showing, before saying "Then, the night is young. Let's make the most of it before you leave."

******

"You fucked up my lunch, man" Max Rose told Ari after lowering the gun he was pointing at his former mentor.

A mixture of relief and annoyance crossed Max’s face as he waited for Ari to give an explanation as to why was he sat in his arm chair, in the middle of his rented flat in Amsterdam, reading the fucking newspaper with a stupid grin on his stupid face.

"I have a mission for you." Ari said.

"Of course, you have" Max scoffed before hugging him. "But you're buying me lunch if you want me to listen to you."

And that's what they did. Ari knew if you had to win Max over, it had to be around food. After explaining the mission and what Max’s role would be, Ari had one last question and he had deliberately saved it for last when he knew Max would already be on board.

"Max, I need to know you're fine with all this because I need you to be focused. Are you ready to go back down there after Andy?"

"Absolutely." Max said without hesitating. But Ari could see a glint of sadness in his eyes.

"Good." Ari said sympathetically "Then I guess I'll contact you in a month or so." Ari added before he raised his glass to toast for the mission.

***** 4 days later, just over a week after leaving, Ari was back in Tel-Aviv, having saved the discussion he knew was going to be the hardest until last.

He sat in the waiting room of the Ethan Navon Memorial Clinic, a place in which he hadn’t been for easily over 5 years, and was eventually ushered into the Examination Room where the nurse popped a thermometer under his tongue as he sat on the trolley, waiting.

“How can I help you Mr…Aw, fuck me!” Sammy groaned as he looked at Ari who gave him a cheeky smile “What the fuck?  What the fuck are you doing here?” he turned to his nurse “What the fuck is he doing here?”

“Hey, hey, just... Calm down.” Ari said gently, “I need to talk to you. Five minutes.”

Sammy tossed his file and glasses down on to the small equipment trolley and said something to his Nurse. She nodded, making a hasty exit and as Sammy went to close the door it stopped before he could shut it fully and swung fully open again, Hannah stepping into the room, frowning at her brother.

“Sammy? What's going on? I can hear you shouting all the way over in the other room? What’s the…” she trailed off as Sammy nodded towards Ari, her mouth falling open when she saw him “Fuck me…”

"Hey Hannah, how you doing?” Ari gave her a small smile. “You look great by the way."

And he meant it. Her hair was pulled back into a bun at the nape of her neck and she was dressed in a simple pencil skirt and blouse, her white doctors coat open.

"What do you want Ari?" she asked softly.

“It's a nice clinic you got.” Ari said, taking the thermometer out of his mouth, ”Save a lot of lives here?

“No. But we don't take any lives either.” Hannah shrugged as Ari took a deep breath, steeping his hands together.

“I know how to get 'em out, Sammy.”

Sam scoffed

“I got a plan.  And it's good.” Ari was almost whispering with excitement as he stood up off the bed.

“Yeah, that's...” Sam looked at his sister, laughing sarcastically “That's what you always say, until everything goes to shit.”

“Right, just hear me out. You don't like what I gotta say, I'm going.”  Hannah and Sammy both exchanged a look as Ari began to pull the documents and details out of his rucksack, standing on the other side of the examination bench.

“Ari…” Hannah began as she stepped forwards, but Sam gently touched her arm and he moved towards Ari, shaking his head.

“Ari, Ari…no…”

“What? You don't wanna hear the plan?”  Ari asked gently.

“Stop.” Sam instructed him.

“You don't wanna hear it? You'd rather be here than in the field?” Ari asked, disbelief in his tone as his voice grew louder.

“Shh!” Hannah instructed the pair of them as Sammy began packing the stuff back into Ari’s backpack for him.

“Why?” Ari pressed “You're the best field doctor I know.”

“I used to be.” Sam said gently “Back when I had two good hands.”  

“Hey, both hands tied behind your back, you're still the best.” Ari said honestly. Sam paused and looked at him for a second, before Ari took a deep breath. “I need you on this one….” he looked over Sammy’s shoulder and locked eyes with Hannah “Both of you.”

She frowned a little, her arms unfolding and dropping to her hips as she studied him.

“I can't do it without you.” Ari finished, diverting his attention back to Sam. Hannah watched her brother who paused for a moment, before he turned and walked past her, opening the door. He glanced back at Ari and said, quite forcefully.

“No.”

Hanna’s gaze dropped to the floor as Ari gave a small sigh “Alright…” and gathered up his belongings “Okay…” She looked up at him as he walked past, and he gave her a pleading look which she met with a passive one of her own as he gave her a sad smile, before he walked out, Sam avoiding his gaze as he did so.

The two siblings stood in silence for a moment before Hannah met Sam’s eyes.

“Oh no…” Sam groaned “Seriously…” “Can it hurt to hear him out?” She asked gently.

“Are you serious? For fucks sake…”Sam groaned. “You are, aren’t you?”

Hannah shrugged. Sam eyed his sister again and then rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Fine we’ll listen...” Sam said loudly, as he walked into the doorway, leaning out of it as Ari stopped and turned to face him “But only out of curiosity…because I'm still gonna say no.”  

Both siblings ushered Ari to Sam's office, Hannah leading the way. She opened the door to let both men in. 

Ari could smell a familiar scent of vanilla when he walked past Hannah into the room and couldn't help but smile softly at her but she was staring at her feet and didn't notice. He tried to make eye contact with her as she helped Sammy to clear the small round table at the right far corner of the office, but to no avail. He could only catch a glimpse of her long eyelashes where the locks that had fallen off her bun allowed him to. 

It was only when Sam asked him to do what he had to do that she raised her head from the table and her big blue eyes looked directly at his, stopping there for a couple of seconds.  A couple of seconds which Ari hoped had been enough to convey the message he wanted her to get. One second; I'm sorry. Another one; help me out in this.

A couple of seconds later her gaze went to the back pack that hanged from his left shoulder. Battered, colour faded by uncountable missions and frayed at the seams.

"Ever thought of changing that? It could use a bit of a wash?" Hannah asked, her head nodding towards the back pack as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

He looked at it confused and when he returned his eyes to Hannah saw she was smiling.

"It's been with me through thick and thin. Couldn't get rid of it at this point." Ari replied returning the smile and placing the back pack on the table.

"All right, let's get this over with." Sammy urged Ari while he took a lot of documents, photographs and maps out. 

Sam wasn't willing to spend any more second on pleasantries. He knew if he gave Ari the chance, he was bound to dive head first into whatever crazy plan he had come up with this time and the quicker he did that, the quicker he could tell him to piss off.

Thus, Ari spread the documents out and for the following 45 minutes he talked Sam and Hannah through his plan for the mission. He had been more thorough with details and careful with sensitive information as he knew Sam would be a harder nut to crack than Rachel, Jake or Max. Especially if he wanted Hannah in.

Both siblings remained silent during the explanation. Sharing a glance from time to time, but Ari was too excited and focused on trying to explain his plan well to read too much into it. When he finished he put his hands on his hips, blew a strand of hair that had fallen over his forehead and grinned with satisfaction, looking at them expectantly

Sammy, who had his arms crossed, moved a hand to his face rubbing his jaw and his eyes flicked a moment from the documents on the table to his sister. Hannah wasn’t looking at her brother, however, her attention was solely on the information Ari had set out.

"Is that a brochure for the hotel?" she asked as she took a brightly coloured and glossy document which was folded in the middle.

"Yup." he said popping the p.

"You've really given this plenty of thought." she said admiring the brochure as well as the rest of maps and planning documents scattered over the table.

"I have." Ari replied, his eyes pleading with her.

"So, just to be clear, you want us all to play house while smuggling refugees in and then out of fucking Sudan." Sam snorted.

"Basically, yes. And you sound like one of Isaacs' dogs." Ari protested.

Sam was about to bite back when Hannah grabbed his arm to cool him down.

"I think it's a brilliant plan." she said looking from Sam to Ari.

"Yeah, now he's the man with a plan." Sam scoffed and turned to look at her sister "And I don't care what you think, you're not going."

"Are you listening to yourself, Sam?" she said visibly annoyed at her brother’s overprotectiveness "You don't get to say what I am or am not doing. You hear me?"

Ari lowered his head and smiled at Hannah's outburst. She had always been an independent and opinionated girl and that had caught his attention right from the start. And she had turned into the determined and strong-willed gorgeous woman that stood there right in front of him, telling her older brother to basically fuck off. Ari couldn’t help but think how different she was from Sarah, who had become so clingy and demanding over the last few years.

"How do you even plan on getting all this up and running?" Sam asked Ari ignoring his sister.

"I said I’d have the details ironed out and a team assembled in 3 months and that was eight and a half weeks ago now, give or take” he said, looking at Sam then to Hannah “ I've got another three or so weeks to come up with covers for everyone and hand them out for memorizing. If everything goes to plan then we should be ready to deploy in January.”

Sam sighed and looked up at his sister who was busy studying the map, her sharp eyes roving over the details. Ari watched her for a second as she bit her lip before he looked back at Sam.

"I need you in this Sammy. I can't do it without you." he pleaded. Sam gave him a look, before he turned away shaking his head, clearly lost in his conflicting thoughts. Ari then switched his attention to Hannah. "And I need you too, Firefly.” At the use of his nickname for her she looked up, her eyes locking onto Ari’s a faint smile playing on her face as he held her gaze” I know I'm in no position to ask you to come with me. Not after what happened to Andy. But I really need a female doctor to take care of those refugee women."

Hannah visibly faltered at the mention of Andy. She hadn’t expected to hear his name, least of all from Ari's lips. He was really bringing the big guns out. But then again, persuasion tactics aside, it was a good plan and he was right about needing a woman to help out. Sammy had told her what had happened to that woman that had let herself drown on his last mission after they had found her bloodied and bruised by a tree after a vicious rape. It was common for women to be abused like that by the local authorities who persecuted them, and if there was something she could do to help, then Hannah already knew deep down that wouldn't be sitting the mission out. Andy wouldn't have done either and she was willing to bet Sam was already considering taking up Ari's offer. That fucking handsome bastard always got what he wanted. She would know.

"Which dumbasses have you got to agree to it so far?" Sammy asked, moving the discussion swiftly on. He had spotted his sister’s reaction to the mention of her late husband. She’d visibly wavered and Sammy had seen her right hand go straight to her necklace, where she wore her engagement ring and wedding band, an action she always undertook when she was nervous or the memory of Andy hit her. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ari either.

"Jake Wolf, who you know from a few missions, Max and Rachel..." Ari offered, turning to Sam.

"Max?" Hannah asked still fiddling with her necklace, but a look of surprise now on her face “Max agreed?”

Ari nodded smiling at her. He knew she would be in when she heard the name of her best friend. That was the reason he hadn't mentioned the names of the rest of the team along with the explanation and ensuing conversation. It was an ace up his sleeve he hadn’t wanted to play until necessary. And Sammy, good old Sammy, had provided him with the opportunity on a silver plate. A simple list of names, strategically ordered, and the match point was his.

Hannah looked at her brother and gave him a smile, inclining her head slightly, an action Ari knew all too well to be her conceding her agreement. He managed to resist the urge to punch the air in victory, but didn’t fight the smirk that slid across his face as he turned to Sam and asked.

"Are you dumbass enough to jump in?"

**** Chapter 2 Part 1

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Leave No One Behind Ch 1: You Gotta Have A Plan

Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Chapter Summary: After returning from Sudan following their arrest, Sam and Ari go their separate ways…but Ari just can’t let things go. He needs a plan to break the refugees he left in the camp out. And he comes up with a plan so ridiculous that it just might work. That is, if he can pull together the right team.

Unfortunately he knows that the 2 people he probably needs and wants there the most, are going to be the toughest to convince. After all, they are siblings…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

A/N: Now, we believe from what research and reviews tell us, that RSDR takes place basically between 1979 and 1982 (the real Operation Brothers upon which it is based upon ran until 1984). To keep this as historically factual as possible, we have done all the research we can find on Mossad, the history of the Jewish people in the 40s through 80s…the rest is purely down to our imagination.

If anything is factually wrong, we mean no offence. Chalk it down to slight creative license and take this for what it is- a work of fiction.

Before you continue, we recommend you read this to introduce the ‘cast’- Leave No One Behind: Meet the Characters

Also Tags will be done by reblogs as Tumblr seems to, once again, have been taken over by Hydra and isn’t giving everyone notifications.

Leave No One Behind Masterlist  Main Masterlist 

Chapter Song: Across the Universe by the Beatles

“Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes, that call me on and on across the universe…”

March 1979

Ari Levinson was a man who very rarely liked to sit still. He’d been the same as a boy, always needing to be doing something. And right now, even in a dark, sweaty, smelly cell in Sudan he was no different. Using the bars in the roof that gave them the only light and air into the area, he was doing pull ups, counting his way up to 100. When he finished his reps he dropped down with a sigh and made his way over to sit by Sammy who was leaning against the wall.

Ari glanced over at his friend, his fellow agent who simply looked at him without saying a word, and then looked away, both of them glancing up as Kabede, their in-country contact so to speak, walked over and sat besides Sammy.

“I heard the guards talking.” he said softly in his thick, African accent as Ari sat, his arms hanging over his knees. “They think we are smugglers. We need to get out of here.”

“Mr. Guy Thomas.” one of the guards called. All 3 of them exchanged a look, before Ari stood up and made his way to the cell door.

“You called?” he asked.

“You, and your friends…” the guard said, gun slung over his shoulder “You come with me…”

They did as they were told and were ushered into a small room, where they were unceremoniously handed their gear and told they were free to go. Ari did nothing but smile at Sammy, who rolled his eyes, because it was a knowing joke between everyone who ever ran a mission with Ari that he could fall in pig shit and come out smelling like roses.

Ari fished a packet of cigarettes out of his back pack, along with his shades and slipped them onto his eyes. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out into the sun, lighting his cigarette as he went. He paused for a moment, looking at the man who was leaning against a blue car, watching him. He jerked his head and Ari stepped towards him.  

“And you are?” Ari asked, eyeing him up.

“I'm the reason you're out of there.” The man said, pushing himself off the car. Ari exchanged a look with Sammy as the man continued “Walton Bowen, American.”

“No shit.” Sammy said, his eyes still on the man as Ari shook his hand.

“Yeah?” Walton looked at him before he moved to shake his hand too “Cultural attaché, the embassy in Khartoum.”

“Oh. Well, you must have your hands full, considering the flourishing cultural scene in Sudan.” Ari said, the sarcasm evident in his tone and Walton gave a little laugh.

“Not nearly as flourishing as you with your anthropology studies, I'm sure.” Walton said, his voice level but Ari could detect the note of disbelief he carried. “We got a call from DC, you gents had gotten yourselves into a bit of a pickle.”

As Ari kept his eyes on the man and his face straight, besides him Sammy pointed

“Is that our stuff in the back of your car?”

Ari looked at Sammy then round to the car as Walton nodded.

“Yes, it is.  I'm sorry about the hasty packing…” he said, gesturing to the car “…but I know you have a flight in less than five hours to London.”

Ari snorted, shaking his head a little. Of course we do, damned it Ethan.

“Where are you off to after that, boys?” Walton continued.

Ari didn’t reply, instead he chuckled, and turned from the man, walking over to where Kabede was stood a few feet away.

“Looks like they're calling me back. Are you gonna be okay?” Ari asked

“Yes” Kabede assured him “I will bring more families.”

“We'll find a better way.” Ari nodded, giving the man a friendly embrace, patting him on the back before he turned around and walked back towards Walton and Sammy.

“Hope you got my toothbrush…” he said, not stopping as he passed them both and made his way to the car. “It’s new.”

After a few hours layover in London, they were called to a desk and given tickets for a flight back to Isreal for an hour later.  Ari fell asleep before the taxi down the runway had even finished and awoke a few hours later, stretching and ordering himself a beer. Before much longer the plane began it’s descent into Ben Guiron Airport and Ari let out a sigh. He knew he should be glad to be home, but he wasn’t. He hated leaving a job half done. But he wouldn’t deny he was looking forward to a shower. He felt disgusting, looked disgusting, smelt disgusting. Thank fuck Ethan had the sense to book an entire row out for him and Sammy each.

They cleared customs easily and were met by a driver who waved them over to a car.

“Home?” The man asked Ari as he took his bags from him to take them to the trunk. .

“Office.” Ari corrected, as he wrenched open the passenger door of the car. “You coming?” he asked Sammy as he sat down.

“Nah. Nah, I'm going back home.” Sammy looked at him.

“What?” Ari said, frowning as he got back out, leaning on the roof of the car.

“Back to the clinic.” Sammy said with a small smile.

Ari looked around, before he shut the door and walked over to Sammy, his mouth open in surprise.

What the hell are you talking about?” he asked gently.

“I called Ethan back in London, got a message to Hannah. She’s picking me up.” Sammy said taking a deep breath “I'm done.”

Sammy moved to pull Ari into an embrace, which Ari returned, albeit it a little half- heartedly as he was still reeling from Sammy’s revelation.

“Why?” he asked, patting Sammy on the back.

“I love you, man.” Sammy said, pulling away “You're a lucky guy. But when the luck runs out, then...  you gotta have a plan, and you never have one. So... I'm out. “

Sammy looked around.

“You're out?” Ari said flatly, his eyebrows raising.

“I'm out.”

“Sammy.” Ari said gently as Sam turned away. He paused and turned to face Ari again, smiling.

“Goodbye, my friend.”

Sam quickly walked away down towards the pick-up area outside the terminal, as Ari called his name again, a little louder, but he ignored him.

Ari sighed and looked upwards, wiping a hand over his face before he glanced at Sam’s retreating back just in time to see a flurry of dark, wavy hair rushing towards him. Ari continued to observe from a distance as Sammy hugged his sister back, her face pressed into the side of his neck, Sammy gently rubbing at her back. When he finally let her go, Ari finally got a look at her and he had to smile. The last time he had seen Hannah had been almost 3 years ago, at her husband Andy’s funeral and Ari was pleased to see she looked better than she had that day. Her hair was longer, her cheeks were fuller again, no longer hollow with grief. Her skin was darker, more tanned...she looked healthy, back to her vivacious self along with, he hoped, that spark that bounced in her deep blue eyes, Eyes he knew so well.

He had first met Hannah through Sammy when she was 17, and he was 24. He had liked her from the off, despite being 7 years older than her and there’d been a spark, there was no denying that. But for various reasons, despite a 3 month long sort of fling, it hadn’t worked out. He’d backed off, instead admiring her from afar, constantly telling himself he was too old and no good for her, and then he had met Sarah. Their relationship at first had been based on total, physical attraction and had been a total whirlwind. They had married later that same year after discovering Sarah was pregnant, Ari wanting to do the right thing by her. Their daughter Maya was born 7 months later and for the first 4 years, he had to admit he’d been happy.

Meanwhile, Hannah had started dating another one of their agents and friends, Andy Horowitz.  They’d married too and then sadly mere months after they had married Andy had been killed on a mission they’d been running some 3 years ago, a mission Ari had been in charge of.

Hannah said she didn’t blame Ari, but he’d seen it written on every inch of her pretty face. She’d hardly been able to look him in the eyes since Andy’s death, and as a result he had made no effort to reach out in the 3 years since Andy’s funeral. Which he knew was a selfish, shitty thing to do on his behalf, as they’d all been so close, family close even, but Hannah had always worn her heart on her sleeve and he couldn’t face the turmoil and heartbreak she was emanating.

Sammy assured him she didn’t hold him at fault, not really and that she was just upset, compounded  by the fact she hadn’t been there and was only hearing everything 2nd hand. But still, it did nothing to assuage Ari’s guilt. Andy’s life cut so tragically short, and Hannah left widowed at such a young age…

The driver’s voice shook Ari out of his thoughts, and when his eyes focussed again he realised he was staring at nothing. Hannah and Sammy both long gone. With a nod to the man he climbed back in the car and they set off for HQ.

**** "You're pissed." Sammy told his sister, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

Hanna didn't answer. She stared at the license plate of the car right before them as if it was the magic combination to some sort of treasure chest. She was avoiding looking at her brother. Of course she was pissed, that was out of the question, but she didn't want to discuss that in the middle of the early evening exasperating traffic. Why was the way out of the airport always so crammed with cars?

Sammy turned to look at her and read the signs like an open book. White knuckles from the intensity with which her hands where holding the steering wheel, furrowed brow and a twitch of the mouth where she was biting the inside of her right cheek. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are pissed. I can tell, Hannah."

"No, I'm not" she replied trying to sound as convincing as possible and hit the car horn three times. "Oh, come on! We all have places to be!"

"Yes, you are. And honking the horn while in a traffic jam won't get you anywhere quicker, you know that?" Sammy said raising an eyebrow at her sudden outburst.

"No, it won't. But it will keep me from slapping you across your stupid face." she bit back, admitting her irritation.

"Ok." Sammy said preparing for what was about to come slouched on the passenger seat "What's on your mind?"

"Damnit, Sammy. You know full well what's on my mind. You know perfectly fucking well." she hissed without even bothering to look at him.

He sighed and nodded as an only answer. Avoiding his sister's gaze, he turned and looked through the passenger window.

"Yet, there you go again." she resumed after a minute, once she had steadied her voice and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Getting yourself arrested. You could have been killed right there on the spot! I just ...."

"Hey…" Sammy said gently rubbing her thigh "It’s ok. I'm ok, right?"

Hannah nodded and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. There were a few minutes of silence in the car as the traffic resumed and Sammy waited patiently for his sister to get herself together before speaking.

"I spoke to Ethan from London, told him I'm out." Sam said.

"What?" Hannah asked surprised looking at her brother before rapidly turning her eyes to the road ahead.

"That last mission... it was just... I'm done. Can't do it anymore." Sam fumbled with the words while he rubbed the scars on his right hand with his left one.

Hannah looked at her brother again, before she sighed, concern flooding her system.

"What happened Sammy?"  she asked, her tone soft “It must be something bad to make you want to leave it all behind.”

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. It's just… I'm tired of all that shit and need to get out, that's all." Sam replied trying to convince his sister and, most importantly himself, it was the right decision.

The sight of that woman letting herself drown in the river had taken a toll on him. It haunted him at night and whenever he closed his eyes. He could have done more, he should have saved her, he should have found her under that muddy water and swum with her to safety. But he hadn't been able to and he didn't want to go into another mission where he would lose lives instead of saving them.

"So, what's the plan?" Hannah asked a moment later trying to snap her brother out from the place he seemed to be lost in.

"The plan is getting home, have a shower, eat something decent and sleep till the new full moon." Sam deadpanned with a faint smile.

"I’d also consider a haircut." Hanna quipped smiling at him. "That mop doesn't suit you, neither does the moustache!"

"Yeah, well. Not much you can do when you're down there and under for six weeks." Sam stated before he smiled at her "You, on the other hand, look great, Han"

"Well, that's what you get when you shower and wash your clothes. You stink." she said winking at him and he laughed.

"Seriously though, what are you gonna do? “ Hannah asked him after a moments pause “You gotta have a plan."

"That's exactly what I told Ari..." Sammy shrugged and Hannah’s head whipped once more to look at him.

"Ari?" she asked double checking her brother "Was Ari on the mission with you? Actually, don’t bother answering because of course he was..." she trailed off.

"That reckless, lucky son of a bitch who never seems to have a back-up plan." Sam said before lighting a cigarette. “He was there alright.”

"I'd say the man without a plan has some things very well planned." she mused while tapping the steering wheel with her fingers.

"Yeah, well, as I told him I wanna go back to the clinic. If that's ok with you, that is."

"Of course it is Sam. It's our clinic, remember? And we could do with your help, in fact, it would be a blessing. We've been very busy lately." she said excited by the prospect of having her brother with her again. "Mum will be thrilled to hear that.” “How is she?” Sam asked.

“She’s ok.” Hannah said “I’ve been trying to get her to take it easy, consider retiring but…you know what she’s like.” Sammy snorted “Stubborn, opinionated, always thinks she knows best…that’s where you get it from.” Hannah merely raised her eyebrow and smirked a little. “I dare you to tell her that on Sunday…” “Sunday?” “Yeah, she hasn't told you yet but you're coming for lunch." Hannah smirked as Sammy rolled his eyes, smiling fondly “And she won’t take no for an answer.”

***** “Ladies and gentlemen. This afternoon, historic documents concluding the Treaty of Peace between the Arab Republic of Egypt and the State of Israel will be signed…” Ari could hear the reporter on the news growing louder as he strode through the Mossad HQ towards Ethan’s office.

“Is he in?” he asked Ethan’s secretary, not bothering to wait for an answer.

“Wait, don't go in there…”

“Thanks.” he said, ignoring her as he pushed the door open, giving a small annoyed huff of a laugh as he tossed his back pack to his left where it landed with a thud. He then made his way over to the decanter of scotch on the shelves to the right of the room, Ethan not even bothering to look at him from where he was leaning against his desk, his own tumbler in hand, watching the TV, dressed in a crisp black suit and white shirt as always, his tie impeccably knotted.

“The Prime Minister is about to sign the most important peace accord in our lifetime and he can't enjoy it because of some remote tribe of our people getting massacred on a continent no one cares about.” Ethan said a little emotively, his British accent crisp as ever as he took a sip of his drink.

“Well, maybe you should let me do my job instead of pulling me out.”  Ari said, picking up his drink and turning towards the couch at the side of the room.

“Your job includes getting arrested?” Ethan asked, as he stood up straight and turned off the TV. Ari sighed as he slumped on the couch, one leg bent with his foot resting on the low coffee table in front of him “Or is this just another by-product of you being reckless and totally out of control?” he looked at Ari for the first time  since he had walked into the room.

“Sudan. My god, Ari…” Ethan snorted angrily, picking up his decanter to top up the glass. “An enemy country in a perpetual state of... fucked-up-ness. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that hiding refugees in a refugee camp was a pretty brilliant idea.” Ari said simply with no trace of irony, as he scratched at an itch on his side before necked his liquor.

“And how do you propose to get them out of there?” Ethan looked at him.

Ari sighed and placed the empty glass on the side next to the phone “Still working on that.”

“This job pays in migraines.” Ethan shook his head as he crossed the room and topped up Ari’s glass. “You look like shit.” he said, pointing to him with the hand that held the decanter which he placed on the coffee table.

“Thank you.” Ari replied “Smell like shit, too. I was under for six weeks.” he reached for the now once again full glass as Ethan sat on a chair opposite him.

“How's Sarah?” Ethan asked.

Ari looked down, his finger tapping on the rim of the glass before he placed it back on the side and slumped down on the sofa again, his eyes focussing downwards on his thigh as it bent upwards in front of him, his hand hooking underneath it.

“She left me.”

“Your life's a mess.” Ethan stated and Ari simply raised his eyebrows in agreement “Well, maybe this is a blessing in disguise, then.”

“What is?” Ari asked, as Ethan took a drink. “Are you taking me off this?”

“Exfil is going to come up with some alternative plans for the Ethiopians.” Ethan said as Ari tipped is head back with a frustrated sigh, his hands flying out to his side. “Then we'll discuss with the boss how best to move forward.”

“Ethan, don't do that.” Ari pleaded sitting forward “You know those guys are morons, they're gonna waste months on plans that aren't viable.  Months that we don't have. You gotta send me back.”  

“Go home, take a shower, spend some time with the family.”  

“Ah Fuck!” Ari sighed, before his voice grew louder and he crossed his arms, taking on the tone and appearance of a sullen child “No.”  

“No?” Ethan looked at him “It's done, Ari. You're not going anywhere.”

And that was that. Ethan wasn’t for turning. In the end Ari had stormed out of the office, his mood darkening by the second, and it didn’t get any better when he arrived home to find the place dark, empty and a message from Sarah on the answer phone telling him she’d taken Maya to her parents place.

Her parent’s place in fucking New Jersey

“Spend some time with the family…” Ethan’s words rang around his head as he slumped on the bed, beer in hand looking at the now empty side of the closet that had contained most of Sarah’s clothes.

Yeah, chance would be a fine thing.

**** Ari spent the following days on a semi-comatose state. He kept strict grooming and feeding habits, which was something he quite enjoyed after six weeks of not being able to give much thought to it.  He also took care of the chores now that it was only him at the house and set up a work-out routine to keep his one-track mind occupied and allow himself to physically blow off some steam.

He was frustrated to say the least. Frustrated at being pulled out by Ethan, who wasn't even willing to reconsider his reinstatement for the time being. And frustrated on how, and it ached to admit, he missed his daughter. He had seen Maya last before leaving for Ethiopia and he had told her, and so had he thought at the time, he would come back home and spend all the time possible with her. But she wasn't there when he came back.

Surprisingly enough, he didn't miss Sarah or, at least, not in the way he should. He did miss spending time with his family or the feeling of having a family to get back to and Sarah was part of that family. And, to tell the truth, he had never been home in this house alone. And, though he was beginning to come to terms with the fact this was his life going forward, he wasn't sure if he liked it. But, on the other hand he was also relieved. Sarah and he had been strained and fighting for so long before he left for the mission that her leaving had almost been a relief.  And, in a sense, he was glad she had done it before he was the one who had to suggest that maybe they needed to concede things weren't working between them because, frankly, Ari Levinson was a chicken shit when it came to stuff like that

But what Ari wasn't was cut out for the mundane, office life. A couple of weeks later his mind was in a state of turmoil. He took a trip out to New Jersey for a few weeks under Ethan’s instructions where he spent some quality time with Maya and had a very frank discussion with Sarah. The papers she had left him to sign upon his return from Ethiopia were legal documents which would enter them both into a legal period of 2 years separation and upon the conclusion therefore a Divorce would be mutually agreed. There was no way back for the pair of them, and he was relieved that she felt the same way and signed the papers in presence of an attorney who assured him this was the easiest, least messy way to go about things. Sarah had also agreed to return to Tel Aviv at some point as she conceded that keeping Maya at the other side of the ocean wasn’t fair to him or her. But when that would be, she never said.

All in all he wasn’t feeling great when he returned to HQ at the end of April especially when he was told that Exfil had yet to come up with any decent sort of plan. He told Ethan, once again, that they were fucking morons but was told to steer well clear. But Ari had never been one to stay out of things, or pay any attention to his boss when he thought he knew better. Day and night the idea of getting the refugees out of that Sudanese refugee camp was still haunting him. He had to come up with something and it had to be as soon as possible, before those Exfil idiots fucked it up completely. So after weighing up the situation for week or so more, he decided to get on with it off radar. He knew the best way to get Ethan to hear him out would be coming up with a fool-proof plan-something so absurd, far-fetched if you will, that no one would suspect they were smuggling Jewish refugees out of Ethiopia.

So he did it by stealth, getting on with his normal duties of paper work and communicating with other Intelligence Operatives across the globe playing the co-ordination role Ethan had dumped him in and putting the final touches on the last mission reports he had been doing at Mossad Head Quarters. His day job so to speak.

The night times, however, well, they were his own. And he used them to do a bit of research of his own.

He tried not to be spotted when he went to the archives department and asked the assistant there for a specific microfilm. Last thing he wanted was Ethan or one of his subordinates sniffing he was up to something. At least not before he could flesh his plan out in order to give a proper presentation to Ethan.

And finally, after an arduous period of research and countless sleepless nights it came to him, one warm night at the end of June. He was examining one map of the area on the computer when he noticed the sea. They could do it, the answer had to be in the sea. Ari felt a sudden surge of optimism and started digging into the different possibilities for a way out through sea instead of land and a feasible cover. His smile reached his eyes when he spotted just what he was looking for and a hunch told him to go for it.

It took a few days for him to pull everything together and get what he needed, and contact the people he needed. Which was why, early one July morning he was pacing the Comms room, rubbing his beard nervously, ironically dressed in the same clothes he had been in a few days prior when the idea had originally occurred to him. It was funny now, how he didn’t have Sarah pecking his head about his outfits he simply donned his preferred casual clothing to the office, something his single friends at work seemed to do a hell of a lot. Speaking of which, he was feeling stressed out after a heated argument with his estranged wife over the phone earlier that day about him seeing Maya. She had kept her side of the bargain, returning to Tel Aviv, but as a result he’d moved out of the house, renting a two bed apartment not too far from what had been their family home. He’d had regular access and visits to his daughter, which had been fantastic, but tonight he’d been due to take Maya out for dinner. However, Sarah had changed her mind at the last minute, something to do with her work shifts and it being a school night. When he had pointed out that she didn’t give a shit about her school when she took her over to New Jersey for the best part of a month she’d simply called him an asshole and put the phone down. Unable to concentrate on anything he’d gone for a run and returned to the office when it was dark and most of the people had gone, to find there was still no communication waiting for him, to let him know if his plan was going to work.

And then, finally the fax from the Sudanese Tourist Board arrived and he knew he had a great plan. Now, he had to sell it to Ethan and it couldn't wait, despite the ungodly hour…

“Ethan! I have an idea.” Ari said as he climbed the stairs to Ethan’s apartment, backpack over his shoulder, his arms laden with rolled up maps and papers.

“It’s four o'clock in the morning.” Ethan said exasperatedly.

“It's a really good idea.” Ari assured him as he continued up the stairs. Ethan simply stood back as he entered his apartment “Do you always sleep in a silk robe?” Ari asked, turning to look at him before he headed into the living room. Ethan paused for a moment before he followed him in, shutting the door behind him.

Ethan listened patiently as he explained his plan, and for the most part simply nodded. When Ari finished, Ethan leaned back and smiled softly at him, his fingers drumming on the map Ari had spread over the table.

“You know what Ari…” Ethan said, a smile on his face “This is so ludicrous…it might just work…but you’ll need a good team.”

Ari smirked and handed Ethan another piece of paper, watching as his boss scanned down the names of the Agents and former Agents he had identified.

“This…” Ethan looked at him, shaking his head “This is not a team, it’s a recipe for disaster!”

“They’re the best of the best…” Ari shrugged.

"But the Navons?” Ethan looked at Ari, shaking his head in disbelief “You mean you want both of them? Seriously after everything that’s-?”

"Oh, no, my bad…” Ari said, cutting him off and reaching over and scribbling something on the paper as Ethan let out a sigh of relief before he looked up, his eyes twinkling as Ethan let out a groan as he spotted the correction Ari had made to the name. “She’s a Horowitz now..."

**** It took them a week to get all the details fleshed out to a point where Ethan was happy to take it to his superiors. Ari would have done it that same morning he had gone knocking on Ethan’s door but his boss had insisted on details and plans…something Ari wasn’t all that bothered by, preferring to work in the spur of the moment. Still, Ethan had insisted that he wouldn’t be able to sell the idea without answering questions, and had lectured him in great detail on the 5Ps, or 6 Ps in this case…

Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance…

He had to admit, however, Ethan had been right. As he began to spell out his ideas and plans to Isaacs, the Mossad Chief, he found himself being able to speak confidently, not just because he had conviction in his idea, but because he never once found himself lacking the ability to explain.

“The majority are coming in from Gondar and Tigray right there…” Ari said, leaning over from his chair to point at the map which was spread out on the desk. “But we can't land our planes anywhere near there.”

“Why?” Isaacs asked, looking at Ari from where he sat in his chair.

“Derg brought in the Russians and Cubans. It's limiting everyone's mobility. The chance of landing a plane without being noticed is non-existent.” Ari explained “The only way to get a substantial number out is by sea.”

“Ethiopia's practically landlocked.” Isaacs said, leaning forward and gesturing at the map.

Ari nodded in agreement, his hand rubbing at his beard before he looked at Ethan who was sat next to him in the other chair. Ethan inclined his eyes at Isaacs, instructing Ari to continue, so he did.

“But Sudan isn't.”

Isaacs paused from looking at the map and then glanced at Ari to Ethan and then back again.

“Seriously?”

Ari nodded.

Isaacs leaned back. “Something tells me this is going to take a bit longer than a few hours to explain…”

Ethan smiled a little and nodded “You could say that, yes.” “Ok…” Isaacs sighed, reaching for his phone “Let me make a few calls. I need to get my advisors down here…and food.” So that’s what he did. Ari found himself repeating various points again and again to different people as they headed in with various files, paper, pens…and he was getting a little frustrated as the night started to draw in. But he kept calm, taking his lead from Ethan who jumped in whenever he could sense Ari was starting to lose his cool a little, and Ari was thankful for the fact his boss was there.

“How long does it take to get from Sudan to Sinai by boat?” Isaacs asked.

“It takes three days.” Ethan began “You can…” “Just a-- Hold on a sec.” Isaacs said as Ari dropped his hands to his hips, leaning back against the large cupboard he was stood in front of. “Even if this could work, you'd need a team of agents on the ground. A team with international background.” Ethan and Ari exchanged a look, and both nodded at Isaacs as he continued “How are you gonna keep our agents  that long inside an enemy state?”

“This is where it gets really good.” Ethan said, nodding at Ari who pulled an aerial shot out of the pack of files he had brought with him. Ari handed it to Isaacs.

“Red Sea Diving Resort.  It's a hotel built by an Italian company in the early '70s.” Ari explained as he walked back to his leaning post, arms folded. “Fifty kilometres north of Port Sudan. The Italian company abandoned it five years ago.  Now the Sudanese government is looking to lease it, to boost tourism.”

The room fell silent as Isaacs looked at the photo, his expression perplexed which then morphed into surprise. He looked at Ari, how shifted a little uncomfortably, waiting for him to comment on the idea. Instead Isaacs stood up, and moved to his phone.

“Ask the Defence Minister if he can join us.” he said simply, and Ethan glanced at Ari, giving him a smile.

About twenty minutes later, the Defence Minister a Mr Henry Weiss joined them and listened carefully to what they had to say, Ari explaining once again what the outline of his plan was. It took him another hour, and it felt like he had been explaining this all day. Which, in reality, he had.

“Let me get this straight.” Weiss said, sitting on the edge of the desk as Isaacs sat in the chair behind hit, both hands behind his head as he was flanked by various other people from his agency, all of them watching Ari who was sat perched on another unit to Weiss’ right “You want Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service, to purchase an abandoned hotel from the Sudanese government.”

“Lease, but yeah.” Ari said, nodding, his hand curling around his chin and mouth in an L-shape.

“Abandoned because?”

“Because the area where it's located is lawless. It's controlled by the Hadandawa.” Ari said, and for the first time he started to feel a little less confident.

“By the who?” Weiss looked at him

“It's a Bedouin tribe.” Ari supplied.

“Translates, The Lion Clan” Tellem, one of the military agents stood around the room supplied “Known for cannibalizing their enemies.”

“No…” Ari quickly began to protest as Isaacs glanced at the military agent who had spoken. “That's...” he took a pause and looked at Ethan who shifted and stared at Ari. And Ari knew why, because he hadn’t told any of this to Ethan. “ No, that's... not anymore.” Ari folded his arms in front of him. “Now it's... human trafficking. -Girls to Jedda, that sort of thing—“

“This... just gets better and better.” Ethan looked at Ari.

“So, your idea, just to reiterate…” Weiss drew the attention back to him “Is to send a group of Jews to a Muslim country, to a place where they might get eaten by Bedouins, to run a fake hotel, in order to rescue a group of black Jews who might or might not survive a 1,000-kilometer walk across the desert, to be smuggled out to sea by Israeli Navy Seals to an Israeli ship.”

“Disguised as a petroleum service vessel, yeah.” Ari said, smiling slightly.  

“That's ridiculous.” Tellem said with a sigh.

There was silence around the room. Ari looked up, and could take no read on anyone’s body language. He locked eyes with Ethan who gave him a sympathetic look and he let out a breath shaking his head.

Back to the drawing board.

“Is NATCOR still operational?” Weiss asked suddenly as Ari stood up.

“Yep” Isaacs replied, his eyes on Ari.

“What's NATCOR?” Ari frowned, hands on his hips.

“It's a shore company in Switzerland we use for large transactions.” Isaacs said simply

“How large?” Ari asked, not sure what this had to do with anything.

“Like leasing a hotel.” Isaacs said.

Well, shit!

With a small smile, one that was more from shock than victory he looked at Ethan who eyed him appraisingly.

“How long do you need?” Weiss asked and looked at Isaacs.

“I can pull the strings in NATCOR in a week or so but I need to know how much we need and when for.” Isaacs said, and once again all attention turned to Ari and Ethan.

“We’ll need a couple of months to pull the team together, get everything organised…leasing agreements that sort of thing…” Ethan said, looking at Ari

“Give me 3 months.” Ari nodded in agreement. “Maximum.”

*****

It turns out that the Sudanese Tourism Board play hard ball. 6 weeks it took. 6 fucking weeks to negotiate a price and a timescale. Originally they’d been willing to lease the Diving Resort from the middle of March until, after agreement of a slightly higher price, they had brought the date forward to January. That was still too far away for Ari’s liking, but as Ethan had reminded him if they missed even one cross on a t or a dot on an I, they were done for.

Finally, at the end of August, they had ironed out every crease they could see, and the confirmation that they had been accepted to hire the abandoned resort came through. A week later, at the start of September, Ari left Tel-Aviv again to start his recruiting spree. First stop, a Pan Am plane with destination Belize.

He was having a coffee and tapping some stray sugar grains on the table surface with his index finger's pad absent-mindedly when his plane was called. His mind went to Maya as he waited in line, boarding pass in hand. He’d spent a lot of time with her over the last week, deliberately, and he knew she understood why he didn’t live with them anymore, but she hadn’t understood why he was going to be going away again. And then, on the last day before he left she had been especially quiet and brooding. Ari had tried to make small conversation with her but had failed and had opted to explain to his daughter why he had to go, as best as he could. She still hadn't reacted as Ari expected and he had to admit defeat. The final blow had come when he had asked Maya about the drawing he was holding of her family, a drawing he was absent from, and she had told her father he wasn't in the picture because he was at work. He hadn’t mentioned it to Sarah, it simply wasn’t worth the hassle.

"You've got to be kidding me" Rachel Reiter said to Ari with a chuckle as she stopped at the end of his row, trolley before her "What are you doing on this flight?" she added impersonating the perfect flight attendant.

"I'd like some tomato juice, please." Ari ordered with a smile.

She served him his tomato juice and sat on the free seat next to him. Ari explained to her he had pulled some strings to find out which flight she would be working. Not that Rachel needed to know. She was perfectly aware of what Ari was capable of and how Mossad worked. Thus, she explained the mission she was on, having scanned the briefcase of a passenger, a PLO accountant.

Ari spent the following five minutes explaining briefly what the mission he was attempting to recruit her for consisted of.

"Ex is in stable asshole condition. Kids are perfect." Rachel told Ari when he asked about her family.

"And you're ok leaving them for an unknown amount of time?" he asked waiting for the confirmation she was in.

"If we don't do something no one will" was what Ari replied Rachel after she asked him to give her a good enough reason to enrol. And that was more than enough, as she smiled and nodded imperceptibly.

"Tell me one last thing." Rachel said standing up and brushing her skirt. "Who's in Belize?"

"Excuse me?" Ari asked with a poker face.

"I know you Ari. I've been running small missions on flights for the past 5 months, they must have told you. And yet you have chosen exactly this one to come talk to me?" she said whispering as she leaned to grab the tray where the now empty glass of tomato juice lay.

"Wait and see Rachel." he said with a broad smile. "I'll be in touch soon."

*******

It was hot, very hot when, a day later Ari sat at a table in a beach bar in Half Moon Caye waiting for Jake to finish his private lesson. Not exactly a diving one.

"What brings the great Ari Levinson all the way to Belize?" Jake Wolf greeted Ari from the door of the decompression tank, wearing nothing more than a dazzling smile.

"I have a unique mission to offer you." Ari told him "But I'm not gonna offer you anything until you cover yourself up" he joked watching as Jake approached him, arms open to give him a hug.

Jake ignored his friend’s request and after brazenly taking a cigarette out of Ari's packet sat on the chair facing him. Ari explained to Jake that he needed someone with expertise and diving skills for a mission related to what in Jake's words was a bloody genocide no one gives a shit about because it's in Africa.

So when Ari told him that his Prime Minister had decided to give a shit, he was convinced he had gained Jake's adventurous spirit and he would be on board.

An hour and some beers later, Ari had explained to Jake the mission in detail and they both had caught up on their lives.

"Be ready to be called in in about a month give or take." Ari told Jake who nodded.

"Why don't you stay a couple of days? Look around you. This is paradise, my friend." Jake said a big grin and open arms pointing at the white sand beach and tropical palm trees.

"I have a flight tomorrow morning." Ari had to refuse his friend’s offer, implying he had still places to be and people to recruit.

"Where to?" Jake asked knowingly.

"Amsterdam." Ari answered before puffing his cigarette. “At least that’s where my next victim was last time I checked…”

Jake just nodded, a faint glimmer of a smile showing, before saying "Then, the night is young. Let's make the most of it before you leave."

******

"You fucked up my lunch, man" Max Rose told Ari after lowering the gun he was pointing at his former mentor.

A mixture of relief and annoyance crossed Max’s face as he waited for Ari to give an explanation as to why was he sat in his arm chair, in the middle of his rented flat in Amsterdam, reading the fucking newspaper with a stupid grin on his stupid face.

"I have a mission for you." Ari said.

"Of course, you have" Max scoffed before hugging him. "But you're buying me lunch if you want me to listen to you."

And that's what they did. Ari knew if you had to win Max over, it had to be around food. After explaining the mission and what Max’s role would be, Ari had one last question and he had deliberately saved it for last when he knew Max would already be on board.

"Max, I need to know you're fine with all this because I need you to be focused. Are you ready to go back down there after Andy?"

"Absolutely." Max said without hesitating. But Ari could see a glint of sadness in his eyes.

"Good." Ari said sympathetically "Then I guess I'll contact you in a month or so." Ari added before he raised his glass to toast for the mission.

***** 4 days later, just over a week after leaving, Ari was back in Tel-Aviv, having saved the discussion he knew was going to be the hardest until last.

He sat in the waiting room of the Ethan Navon Memorial Clinic, a place in which he hadn’t been for easily over 5 years, and was eventually ushered into the Examination Room where the nurse popped a thermometer under his tongue as he sat on the trolley, waiting.

“How can I help you Mr…Aw, fuck me!” Sammy groaned as he looked at Ari who gave him a cheeky smile “What the fuck?  What the fuck are you doing here?” he turned to his nurse “What the fuck is he doing here?”

“Hey, hey, just... Calm down.” Ari said gently, “I need to talk to you. Five minutes.”

Sammy tossed his file and glasses down on to the small equipment trolley and said something to his Nurse. She nodded, making a hasty exit and as Sammy went to close the door it stopped before he could shut it fully and swung fully open again, Hannah stepping into the room, frowning at her brother.

“Sammy? What's going on? I can hear you shouting all the way over in the other room? What’s the…” she trailed off as Sammy nodded towards Ari, her mouth falling open when she saw him “Fuck me…”

"Hey Hannah, how you doing?” Ari gave her a small smile. “You look great by the way."

And he meant it. Her hair was pulled back into a bun at the nape of her neck and she was dressed in a simple pencil skirt and blouse, her white doctors coat open.

"What do you want Ari?" she asked softly.

“It's a nice clinic you got.” Ari said, taking the thermometer out of his mouth, ”Save a lot of lives here?

“No. But we don't take any lives either.” Hannah shrugged as Ari took a deep breath, steeping his hands together.

“I know how to get 'em out, Sammy.”

Sam scoffed

“I got a plan.  And it's good.” Ari was almost whispering with excitement as he stood up off the bed.

“Yeah, that's...” Sam looked at his sister, laughing sarcastically “That's what you always say, until everything goes to shit.”

“Right, just hear me out. You don't like what I gotta say, I'm going.”  Hannah and Sammy both exchanged a look as Ari began to pull the documents and details out of his rucksack, standing on the other side of the examination bench.

“Ari…” Hannah began as she stepped forwards, but Sam gently touched her arm and he moved towards Ari, shaking his head.

“Ari, Ari…no…”

“What? You don't wanna hear the plan?”  Ari asked gently.

“Stop.” Sam instructed him.

“You don't wanna hear it? You'd rather be here than in the field?” Ari asked, disbelief in his tone as his voice grew louder.

“Shh!” Hannah instructed the pair of them as Sammy began packing the stuff back into Ari’s backpack for him.

“Why?” Ari pressed “You're the best field doctor I know.”

“I used to be.” Sam said gently “Back when I had two good hands.”  

“Hey, both hands tied behind your back, you're still the best.” Ari said honestly. Sam paused and looked at him for a second, before Ari took a deep breath. “I need you on this one….” he looked over Sammy’s shoulder and locked eyes with Hannah “Both of you.”

She frowned a little, her arms unfolding and dropping to her hips as she studied him.

“I can't do it without you.” Ari finished, diverting his attention back to Sam. Hannah watched her brother who paused for a moment, before he turned and walked past her, opening the door. He glanced back at Ari and said, quite forcefully.

“No.”

Hanna’s gaze dropped to the floor as Ari gave a small sigh “Alright…” and gathered up his belongings “Okay…” She looked up at him as he walked past, and he gave her a pleading look which she met with a passive one of her own as he gave her a sad smile, before he walked out, Sam avoiding his gaze as he did so.

The two siblings stood in silence for a moment before Hannah met Sam’s eyes.

“Oh no…” Sam groaned “Seriously…” “Can it hurt to hear him out?” She asked gently.

“Are you serious? For fucks sake…”Sam groaned. “You are, aren’t you?”

Hannah shrugged. Sam eyed his sister again and then rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Fine we’ll listen...” Sam said loudly, as he walked into the doorway, leaning out of it as Ari stopped and turned to face him “But only out of curiosity…because I'm still gonna say no.”  

Both siblings ushered Ari to Sam's office, Hannah leading the way. She opened the door to let both men in.

Ari could smell a familiar scent of vanilla when he walked past Hannah into the room and couldn't help but smile softly at her but she was staring at her feet and didn't notice. He tried to make eye contact with her as she helped Sammy to clear the small round table at the right far corner of the office, but to no avail. He could only catch a glimpse of her long eyelashes where the locks that had fallen off her bun allowed him to.

It was only when Sam asked him to do what he had to do that she raised her head from the table and her big blue eyes looked directly at his, stopping there for a couple of seconds.  A couple of seconds which Ari hoped had been enough to convey the message he wanted her to get. One second; I'm sorry. Another one; help me out in this.

A couple of seconds later her gaze went to the back pack that hanged from his left shoulder. Battered, colour faded by uncountable missions and frayed at the seams.

"Ever thought of changing that? It could use a bit of a wash?" Hannah asked, her head nodding towards the back pack as she crossed her arms over her chest.

He looked at it confused and when he returned his eyes to Hannah saw she was smiling.

"It's been with me through thick and thin. Couldn't get rid of it at this point." Ari replied returning the smile and placing the back pack on the table.

"All right, let's get this over with." Sammy urged Ari while he took a lot of documents, photographs and maps out.

Sam wasn't willing to spend any more second on pleasantries. He knew if he gave Ari the chance, he was bound to dive head first into whatever crazy plan he had come up with this time and the quicker he did that, the quicker he could tell him to piss off.

Thus, Ari spread the documents out and for the following 45 minutes he talked Sam and Hannah through his plan for the mission. He had been more thorough with details and careful with sensitive information as he knew Sam would be a harder nut to crack than Rachel, Jake or Max. Especially if he wanted Hannah in.

Both siblings remained silent during the explanation. Sharing a glance from time to time, but Ari was too excited and focused on trying to explain his plan well to read too much into it. When he finished he put his hands on his hips, blew a strand of hair that had fallen over his forehead and grinned with satisfaction, looking at them expectantly

Sammy, who had his arms crossed, moved a hand to his face rubbing his jaw and his eyes flicked a moment from the documents on the table to his sister. Hannah wasn’t looking at her brother, however, her attention was solely on the information Ari had set out.

"Is that a brochure for the hotel?" she asked as she took a brightly coloured and glossy document which was folded in the middle.

"Yup." he said popping the p.

"You've really given this plenty of thought." she said admiring the brochure as well as the rest of maps and planning documents scattered over the table.

"I have." Ari replied, his eyes pleading with her.

"So, just to be clear, you want us all to play house while smuggling refugees in and then out of fucking Sudan." Sam snorted.

"Basically, yes. And you sound like one of Isaacs' dogs." Ari protested.

Sam was about to bite back when Hannah grabbed his arm to cool him down.

"I think it's a brilliant plan." she said looking from Sam to Ari.

"Yeah, now he's the man with a plan." Sam scoffed and turned to look at her sister "And I don't care what you think, you're not going."

"Are you listening to yourself, Sam?" she said visibly annoyed at her brother’s overprotectiveness "You don't get to say what I am or am not doing. You hear me?"

Ari lowered his head and smiled at Hannah's outburst. She had always been an independent and opinionated girl and that had caught his attention right from the start. And she had turned into the determined and strong-willed gorgeous woman that stood there right in front of him, telling her older brother to basically fuck off. Ari couldn’t help but think how different she was from Sarah, who had become so clingy and demanding over the last few years.

"How do you even plan on getting all this up and running?" Sam asked Ari ignoring his sister.

"I said I’d have the details ironed out and a team assembled in 3 months and that was eight and a half weeks ago now, give or take” he said, looking at Sam then to Hannah “ I've got another three or so weeks to come up with covers for everyone and hand them out for memorizing. If everything goes to plan then we should be ready to deploy in January.”

Sam sighed and looked up at his sister who was busy studying the map, her sharp eyes roving over the details. Ari watched her for a second as she bit her lip before he looked back at Sam.

"I need you in this Sammy. I can't do it without you." he pleaded. Sam gave him a look, before he turned away shaking his head, clearly lost in his conflicting thoughts. Ari then switched his attention to Hannah. "And I need you too, Firefly.” At the use of his nickname for her she looked up, her eyes locking onto Ari’s a faint smile playing on her face as he held her gaze” I know I'm in no position to ask you to come with me. Not after what happened to Andy. But I really need a female doctor to take care of those refugee women."

Hannah visibly faltered at the mention of Andy. She hadn’t expected to hear his name, least of all from Ari's lips. He was really bringing the big guns out. But then again, persuasion tactics aside, it was a good plan and he was right about needing a woman to help out. Sammy had told her what had happened to that woman that had let herself drown on his last mission after they had found her bloodied and bruised by a tree after a vicious rape. It was common for women to be abused like that by the local authorities who persecuted them, and if there was something she could do to help, then Hannah already knew deep down that wouldn't be sitting the mission out. Andy wouldn't have done either and she was willing to bet Sam was already considering taking up Ari's offer. That fucking handsome bastard always got what he wanted. She would know.

"Which dumbasses have you got to agree to it so far?" Sammy asked, moving the discussion swiftly on. He had spotted his sister’s reaction to the mention of her late husband. She’d visibly wavered and Sammy had seen her right hand go straight to her necklace, where she wore her engagement ring and wedding band, an action she always undertook when she was nervous or the memory of Andy hit her. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ari either.

"Jake Wolf, who you know from a few missions, Max and Rachel..." Ari offered, turning to Sam.

"Max?" Hannah asked still fiddling with her necklace, but a look of surprise now on her face “Max agreed?”

Ari nodded smiling at her. He knew she would be in when she heard the name of her best friend. That was the reason he hadn't mentioned the names of the rest of the team along with the explanation and ensuing conversation. It was an ace up his sleeve he hadn’t wanted to play until necessary. And Sammy, good old Sammy, had provided him with the opportunity on a silver plate. A simple list of names, strategically ordered, and the match point was his.

Hannah looked at her brother and gave him a smile, inclining her head slightly, an action Ari knew all too well to be her conceding her agreement. He managed to resist the urge to punch the air in victory, but didn’t fight the smirk that slid across his face as he turned to Sam and asked.

"Are you dumbass enough to jump in?"

[writingwithbella]

Old Scars/Future Hearts: Salty Like A Summer’s Day

series summary; one summer. one tour. six people. touring with your older brother and the band he manages is supposed to be fun. you get to be with all of your favorite people, go to different cities, and jam out to shows every night. so why is pope so set on making your experience a living hell?

pope heyward x routledge!reader 

2.4k words (👁👄👁we really went off with this first chapter ngl)

a/n: yay! first chapter in @bricksatanakinswindow​ and I’s new fic! We are both very excited to share this with you and would love to hear what you have to say on the first chapter! this fic is definitely going to be a wild ride, but one we hope you enjoy as much as we do!

JJ Maybank sees you first.

He’s booking it across the parking lot, his hat close to flying off his head and his backpack slapping violently against his back as soon as you step out of your car. You’re too focused on tugging your charger from the port to realize he’s barreling towards you at full speed. When you finally look up, you have less than ten seconds to brace yourself before JJ is slamming into you, squashing you between him and the car.

“y/n!” he shouts, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. “JB said you were coming but I said I wouldn’t believe it ‘til I saw it. You know how flaky you can be, right?”

You roll your eyes and shove JJ off of you, a grin making its way onto your face. “Fuck off, Maybank. I always keep my promises.”

Before he can answer you, another voice sounds from the other end of the parking lot in the same tone of elation as JJ. “Thank god!”

Kie’s making her way towards the two of you, a radiant smile on her face. She looks as beautiful as ever, her hair falling behind her shoulders in curls. Her skin is glowing, and her eyes are bright. You move from JJ’s grip in favor of pulling Kie into a bone-crushing hug, a small giggle escaping your lips when she gasps.

“If I had to suffer through this tour without you or Sarah, I’d go insane,” she says, moving to drink you in. “You look good, y/n. When did you start wearing so much black?”

You laugh a little, shaking your head at her. The last time Kie had seen you, you were going through your pink phase. There wasn’t anything wrong with it, really, except for the fact that it wasn’t your style. You had experimented different styles over the past few years, deciding that a mixture of pretty much everything suit you. “Just recently. I decided it’s the right vibe for now.”  

“Well, I, for one, don’t care about clothes. Let’s go back to the bus,” JJ says, grabbing two of your bags. “John B. says he misses you. Surprising, right?”

“Shut up, JJ!” you and Kie say at the same time, falling into a fit of giggles as he rolls his eyes at you.

Kie links her arm with yours, guiding you towards the tour bus that would house you for the next four months. You had been excited when John B. had called and asked you to help him manage to band on tour. Your summer was originally going to be spent in your hometown, pretending your brother wasn’t traveling the country while you worked a minimum wage job.

But this option was much, much better.

You see John B. and Sarah before they see you. You can tell right away that your brother is smitten with Kie’s best friend. His attention is fully on her, a smile brighter than the sun painted on his face. You knew your brother like the back of your hand, having watched him fall in love with girls time and time again.

“Ah, so JB is already making moves?” you ask teasingly, resting your hands on your hips.

“Sarah Cameron does have that effect on people,” Kie comments.

You snicker, shaking your head at your brother. He is a hopeless romantic through and through. You could only hope Sarah possessed some of those traits.

“I was hoping JB was lying when he said you were coming along for the ride.”

Pope’s voice turns your blood into ice. He was the last person you wanted to see – the person you were dreading seeing. Pope wasn’t nice to you. There was no way around it. For some god-awful reason, Pope Heyward fucking hated you. And because you weren’t one to back down, you reciprocated those harsh feelings.

It was exhausting being around him, always being so angry and rude. But you weren’t going to let him push you around.

You turn on your heel, catching Kie’s eye. She sends you a pleading look, one begging you to be nice. You can hear her voice in your head; C’mon, y/n, it’s the start of the tour. Let’s not do this right away.

“I promised,” you say stiffly, your eyes raking over him lazily. You ignore the tug at your heart when you see him. He always looks attractive, but today especially, he seems to have turned up the heat. He’s wearing ripped black jeans, a Nirvana tank top, and his hat backwards. He looks like a tall glass of water, begging to be drank on a day as hot as this one.

But then he opens his mouth.

“We all know how hard it is to keep your promises,” Pope says dismissively. “Kie, did you see where JB left the keys? I want to get the AC going so we don’t all heat case.”

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” She replies offhandedly, gesturing towards the love-stricken boy. Pope rolls his eyes, but not frustratedly like he had with you. Rather, he seems amused, humored by the older boy’s antics. You scoff, but rather than begin the argument again, you turn to face Kie and JJ who are trying to ignore the obvious tension in the air.  

“This is gonna be so much fun!” JJ mocks, to which you and Kie laugh raucously, catching John B’s attention and breaking him out of his Sarah-Cameron-centered trance.  

“Alright, alright, calm down kids. Let’s get on the bus, I feel like I’m dying.” He pulls the keys out of one of the pockets of his cargo shorts and begins walking towards the bus. The rest of them follow after, lugging their suitcases and duffle bags behind them as if they had been walking for miles. Under his breath, Pope mutters.  

“That’s such a great idea, John B. I wonder who literally said that not ten seconds before?” You can’t help the snicker that you make at his words. He looks over at you, but before he can make whatever snarky comment had come to his mind, John B interrupts, opening the door to the bus and gesturing to the ample space within.  

Note your heavy sarcasm.  

“Welcome to your humble abode for the next four months. There’s a living room, a kitchenette, and in the far back, behind the curtain, the bunk space. Bunks are first come, first serve, so if you want a top bunk, I suggest you claim it now.” His words spark a race within the group and the six of you push and shove each other out of the way to claim your ideal bunk.  

You are reaching to seize the top bunk for yourself when a dark arm moves past you and places an olive green duffle bag on the undressed mattress. You turn to look at the owner of said arm and, unsurprisingly, find it attached to Pope, who is smiling innocently.  

“That’s my bed.” He laughs slightly, to which you cross your arms and stare him down with your most intimidating look. He laughs harder.  

“Really? I didn’t see any stuff on it saying that it was yours. No sign, no luggage. In fact, the only stuff on there is mine, so I think this is my bed. Sorry.” You can tell by the smile on his face that he is in no way sorry. But, it doesn’t matter. JJ and Kie are giving you both wary looks as if waiting for a fight to break out and this is going to be a four-month long tour. You will have plenty of time to annoy and argue with each other later.  

For now, for them, you’ll just grit your teeth and bear it.  

“Fine. I’ll just take this one. But, if I hear a single snore from you, I won’t hesitate to smother you with a pillow.” You place your stuff on the next bunk down, ignoring Pope’s looming presence behind you.  

“Fine, but one peep from you and I won’t hesitate to push you onto the floor.” You scoff.

“Fine.”  

It’s hours later that you find yourself alone with Kie, JJ and Pope having left to get either groceries or something they’d forgotten to pack, while John B is still attempting to woo Sarah by taking her to some park nearby. A sort-of goodbye to the Outer Banks before they depart for their four-month venture.  

“It’s so weird,” Kie mutters, sipping on a can of beer she’d pulled from the minifridge. The boys may not know how to pack the basics like a toothbrush or enough socks, but they’d remembered to stock every cool place in the vehicle with alcohols of all types from cheap beers to hard liquors.  

“What’s weird?” You reply, sipping on a cold beer of your own and staring out the tinted windows into the nothingness of the parking lot beyond. There really isn’t much to do on the bus when it’s just the two of you, resigning you to talking or staring—you at the outer world and Kie at her phone.  

“I feel like, I don’t know, we should all be at a dinner, celebrating us leaving for tour. Instead, we’re just sitting here, doing nothing, while everyone else does whatever. Just feels like a shitty start to tour.” You shrug, looking away from the window, and turn to face her, who hasn’t looked up from her phone in the entire time she talked.  

“Well, there’s still time for us to do all that. Maybe not a celebratory dinner, but we leave at 11 o’clock tomorrow. We could have a nice breakfast send-off.” She scoffs lightly, jokingly, and finally looks up from the screen to meet your eyes.  

“Very funny. I’m just saying, I thought tonight would be going differently, that’s all. I thought maybe we would all be sitting around a table and drinking and laughing and talking about all the things we want to do on tour. I thought we’d be trying to keep you and Pope from killing each other and be separating John B and Sarah so they didn’t try to fuck right there in front of us all. Instead we’re all separated and we’re drinking and I don’t know. I just thought things would be different.” You could definitely see where she was coming from. This isn’t how you thought tour would be starting off either, though you couldn’t say you were surprised. The group had never been very well-organized, so the idea that they are all on different pages doesn’t surprise you.  

“Well, there’s still enough time left in the day for me and Pope to start arguing again, so don’t discard that idea yet. But seriously, if you want to have a celebratory send-off, I can goad my brother into a breakfast thing tomorrow. I’m sure they’d all love to eat before the four-hour drive to Raleigh.” Kie shakes her head amusedly, looking down at the can in her hand.  

“Nah, I don’t want to force the boys to do anything they don’t want. If they want to start on a low note, that’s on them. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of group meals on the road, it’s kind of inevitable. Speaking of low notes, what the fuck is up with you and Pope?” You suspect that this was the motive behind the entire conversation—to get you to talk about Pope, but you can’t find it within yourself to be surprised.  

The tension between you and Pope has always been a point of contention within the group. No one within the group seems to know how it started, not even you. All you can remember is Pope meeting you and immediately treating you with hostility, which you returned because you didn’t know what else to do. Now, because you both possess deep friendships with every other member of the group, you are forced to tolerate each other's unbearable existences. But your friendships with the others doesn’t mean you won’t still make comments and pick fights with each other every chance you get.  

“Nothing new. He’s still an asshole and I still don’t know why. But I’m trying to be nice, for you and JJ. He just makes it so difficult. He keeps making little digs at me and stealing my bunk? He just keeps acting like a child! I don’t get it, what did I ever do to him?” Kie shrugs, but before she can reply, the door opens and the topic of your conversation enters with JJ, carrying multiple bags. At the sight of you, Pope’s expression sours.  

“Hey, so we got some basic needs for the road so we aren’t just eating junk all the time.” JJ tosses a bag to you, which you examine with an amused expression.  

“This is exclusively gas station junk food. There’s not a single healthy item in here.” JJ laughs, swiping the bag from your lap as he and Pope move past you and Kie to the kitchenette. Pope refuses to look at you.  

“Okay and? Fresh fruits would rot so fast, it doesn’t make sense to have them. At least these things will last.” JJ says, pointing at you.  

“Yeah, but my waistline won’t. We have to eat healthier, even if it means buying fruits and veggies and eating them within the day,” Kie speaks. Pope rolls his eyes, but jokingly, like he’s amused by what she said. You’re sure that if you had said the same thing that he would be going off on you or making comments. It’s frustrating to you that he held you to a different standard than his other friends.  

“I’m going to bed, guys, you all have fun,” you mutter, chucking your empty beer can into the trash can in the kitchenette and maneuvering past the confused boys. You just don’t have it in you to deal with Pope at the moment and it makes more sense for you to just remove yourself from the situation entirely rather than listen to Pope make snide remarks towards you all night.  

You dress quickly for bed and ensure the curtain is closed before you slide into your bunk, covering yourself with the blanket you had packed, not realizing the beds wouldn’t come with any sheets. You’d have to buy something soon if you were going to survive the next four months.  

As you lay still in the bunk, eyes open despite your pleas for sleep to come quickly and easily, you hear Pope’s voice cut through the silence of the bus despite its hushed tones.  

“What’s her problem?” It’s said jokingly, a mockery at your expense, but the reply you issue within the depths of your mind is serious: you are.  

taglist; @sarahcxmeron​ @northcarolinanative​

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Appreciation

Pairing: Ryan Sitkowski x Reader x Justin Morrow

Warnings: Smut! (Masturbation, Threesome, Edging (light), Squirting) 

Summary: An honest answer to a game of truth or dare ends up making a secret fantasy of Y/N’s come true. 

A/N: Okay, I swear I’ll get back to Playing With Fire now. I really just had to get this all out of my system haha

______________________________________________

You sat on the bus with the guys, each of you with a drink in your hand and playing truth or dare like a group of seventeen year olds while town after town flew by outside. “Chris, truth or dare?” Ricky asked, taking a swig from his beer. 

“Truth.” Chris finally gave into the truth after getting screwed over for picking dare the last few turns. 

“How many fans have you slept with on tour so far?” Ricky asked, knowing Chris had been single for a little too long. 

Chris sighed with a laugh, “None, dude, I’m in a drought!” 

“Get Chris laid 2020.” Ryan joked and everyone cheered in support. 

Vinny smacked Chris’s leg, “That is a little sad, dude. But it’s okay! We’re gonna get you laid.” 

He groaned, “I hope that’s not a direct offer from yourself.” 

Vinny rolled his eyes, “Please, you wish you could land this hot piece of ass. But don’t worry, I’ll find a girl who’s almost as pretty. Almost.” 

You laughed when Chris shoved Vinny away from him with a grin, sipping the drink in your hand. “Okay, Y/N, truth or dare?” Chris asked you, leaning forward. 

“Truth.” You answered, really not feeling a dare that turn. Typically, you were pretty good at switching it up between truths and dares. 

“Pussy!” Vinny hollered at you, winning him a pillow in the face from you. 

Chris hushed him with his hand, “Alright, if you could have a three way with anyone on the bus, who would it be?” 

You scrunched up your face at the question, “Perv! Ugh, fine. Me, my electric toothbrush, and one of Ryan’s bottles of wine.” You smirked, thinking you swerved the question with the joke.  

AJ shook his head, “Nuh-uh! Actual people!” 

Your face fell with a groan, “Ugh! Fine! Uh… Justin and Ryan, I guess.” You tried to make your answer sound flippant so the guys wouldn’t catch on but you couldn’t deny your attraction to both of them. You came onto the crew about a month or two before Devin left and Justin was called in to sub for him. 

At first, you were a little worried things would be weird because you were the only girl on a crew that had been entirely male since forever. Despite the fact that you had been immediately attracted to Ryan, you felt like you couldn’t go after any of the men on the crew or in the band because you were scared you’d be that girl who just joined for the cute guys when in reality, you wanted to see the world and needed a job. 

About a month later, Devin and the band split and Justin began filling in. At first it was just for Warped Tour so you told yourself not to get too attached, even though you had fallen for him instantly. But then he left Ice Nine Kills and joined Motionless full time and you found yourself stuck in a predicament, having feelings for both Ryan and Justin but not being able to actually have a relationship with them. At least they’d become some of your closest friends though. 

“OOOH I knew it!” Vinny shouted triumphantly. 

Ryan looked confused, “Knew what?” Thank you for not being weird about this, you silently thanked Ryan. 

Vinny pointed at you with his Redbull, “I knew that you liked you and you.” He moved on to gesture at Justin and Ryan. 

You rolled your eyes at his immaturity, “Oh please, I do not!” Lie. 

Vinny laughed, “Yes you do! Why did you pick them then?” 

“Cause it’s a fucking game! Calm down, Vin!” Justin told him, exasperated at his immaturity. 

“Thank you!” You exclaimed, nodding to Justin with exasperated eyes. Justin returned the gesture. 

Before the next person could ask anything, the bus driver hollered back, “Alright guys! We’re here!” 

Everyone cheered as the bus pulled into the hotel, excited to finally sleep anywhere other than this God forsaken bus (it really was fine but living on a bus for months on end with a dozen guys got tiring). 

After checking in, you hauled your bags up to your room on the sixth floor. You were the only person with your own room since you were the only girl despite the fact that you insisted that you were fine rooming with one of the guys (you were doing it on the bus anyways). The expenses on these tours grew quick and you were trying to help but their tour manager booked you your own room anyways. 

In all honesty, it was really freaking nice. There was a single queen bed in the middle of the room facing the TV. It was really just a standard hotel but you’d forgotten how nice having your own space was. Control over the TV was nice too, excited to finally watch what you wanted to instead of watching the guys play COD or Madden... again. 

Tonight, it was game over for you. You drew a long hot bath for yourself, soaking in it with your favorite book. You washed your hair for the first time in what felt like two weeks. You even walked around in the fluffy robe they provided for at least an hour afterwards before changing into an oversized t-shirt the band let you snag from the merch box and underwear, finally feeling comfortable to walk around with no pants on. Hell, room service was even covered today! You felt like a freaking queen. 

It also meant that you had some time to, erm, relax. After you found yourself feeling nice and fresh and comfortable, you found yourself lying on the bed, the television still on because you couldn’t help but be paranoid that someone knew what you were doing, despite the fact that there wasn’t anything wrong with it. 

But your attention was anywhere but the TV show that was playing. You closed your eyes, imagining Ryan pinning you to the wall and rubbing your core. As you imagined it, your hand dipped down and you began to tease yourself over your navy blue lace panties, the ones that you wore just to feel sexy for this. Your breathing began to get heavy when your fingers made their way down into your panties, finally touching where you ached the most.

In your imagination, Ryan had you gagging on his cock while Justin took you from behind. The two men overloaded your senses. Okay, so maybe you really weren’t lying too much earlier on the bus. Maybe you wouldn’t mind being taken by both of the men. 

Your heart was speeding up with your breathing as that knot in your stomach grew and grew. Quiet moans escaped your lips as you fell over the edge. Unfortunately, just you fell into your climax, a knock on the door scared you into removing your hand and straightening up, feeling your walls clench around nothing with no stimulation in your ruined orgasm. You almost could have cried. You hadn’t cum in so long. 

I swear to God, you thought, someone better be dying. 

You quickly readjusted and before opening the door to see none other than Ryan and Justin. You blushed a deep red, just at the sight of them, humiliated that of course the two men you had just cum to the thought of were right in front of you. “Oh, hey.” You said quietly, trying to subtly adjust back to normal. 

“Hey, can we come in?” Ryan asked, nodding towards the inside of your room. 

Your eyebrows raised, “Have you guys been drinking?” They weren’t acting drunk but honestly, it took them a few minutes to show it sometimes and this was your night to not have to deal with a hoard of drunk men.

They both scoffed. “I’m offended that you would even think that!” Justin touched his chest in mock offense. 

“You downed a whole bottle of wine yourself the other night! And you were definitely a few beers too many in that night too.” Crossing your arms over your chest, you leaned against the door. 

“Okay, fine, but I swear we haven’t been drinking tonight.” Justin insisted. 

“Can we just come in?” Ryan asked, joking exasperation. 

You laughed, “I would say yes but I’m actually pantsless at the moment so…” You shrugged. 

Ryan chuckled, “Please, it’s not like we all live together for over half the year anyways.” 

“Ugh, fine, you have a point. Come on in.” You left the door open and let them inside, pulling your shirt down as far is it would go. At this point, it honestly was more of a dress that went down to your knees so it wasn’t like anything was showing anyways. 

The tall men followed you into the room and you could tell there was something weird about the way they were acting, “So what’s up?” You asked, trying to figure out why they were acting so weird. 

“We, um, we actually had something we wanted to talk to you about.” Ryan started, wringing his hands together. 

You grimaced and closed your eyes, “Guys, if this is about earlier. It was a game and that’s it. There’s no need to be all weird about it!” 

“No, no, no!” Justin hurried, “I mean, that is actually kinda why we’re here… but not like we’re trying to make you feel weird about it!” 

You groaned, “There’s nothing to talk about! This is weird.” 

Justin took a step towards you and brushed down your arm with his hand with an energy you’d never felt from him before. It made you uneasy but it also sent a shiver down your spine. A shiver that you definitely liked. “Actually there is something to talk about.” Ryan moved towards you as well but stepped more behind you. “See, after hearing what you said, we figured that you do so much for the band, honestly more than almost anyone else, that maybe we could show you how much we appreciate you.”

“I really don’t do that much more than anyone else.” You tried your best not to lean into Ryan’s body behind you but there was this polarizing effect these men had on you. 

Ryan scoffed, “Please. You help with merch, set-up and break-down, finance management. It’s like you’re a second tour manager.” He stepped closer behind you, his chest nearly pressed against your back and you could have sworn your heart stopped. 

These boys were up to something and you knew it. 

“Exactly,” Justin continued, his voice low, “And we’ve been trying to figure out how to say thanks for a while now. What you said earlier gave us an idea.” 

Suddenly, Ryan’s lips gently pressed against your neck, shivers running down your spine at the contact, “If you don’t want this, tell us to stop and we can pretend like it never happened.” 

You found your head rolling back into his touch before something occurred to you, “You guys really don’t need to. I know this is probably weird for you.” Your voice was almost more of a whisper than an actual objection. 

A small smile appeared on Justin’s face, a slight chuckle escaping as he leaned in and kissed you ever so slightly on the lips, leaving you craving more, “We’ve already talked about it and we’re okay. But we need to make sure this is something you want. Just say the word and we can stop.” 

Both men pulled away from you just enough to show that they were waiting for your response. There was no way this was happening. This kind of stuff didn’t just happen, right? “I want this.” 

And just like that, Ryan’s lips were back on your neck and his hands gripped your hips. Justin leaned back down and captured your lips in his, his tongue slipping into your mouth. 

You sighed from the overwhelming feeling of both of them, their tongues on your skin, Ryan’s hands trailing up your sides, Justin’s hands massaging your breasts. 

“How about we get this off?” Justin suggested, tugging your shirt over your head, revealing your bare breasts. His head dipped down and began sucking and biting the sensitive flesh, his tongue rolling over your nipples. From behind, Ryan’s hand came up and around your throat, gently guiding your head back to lean against his shoulder to give Justin better access to your breasts. 

Ryan kept one hand gripped lightly around your throat while his other hand trailed down around your front and into your panties where he ran his fingers through your folds, “Already so wet for us.” He realized though, that you were almost too wet right now, “Were you playing with yourself before we got here.” 

You tried to answer but his grip on your throat made it come as more of a whispered squeak. “I’m sorry, what was that?” Justin asked, coming up from your breasts. 

Ryan’s hand loosened up enough for your to speak and ran down your chest. You took a deep breath, finally not having your airway restricted before nodding much less shy than you meant to. “Girls gotta have a little fun too.” You said boldly. 

Both men chuckled a little and came to stand in front of you. “We’re here for that now, baby.” Ryan’s eyes were blown wide with lust as he bit his lip and stared at your naked body, your panties the only thing covering you. “Why don’t you get out of those and then climb onto the bed for us.” He nodded up towards your still made bed. 

Slowly you obeyed, turning around so your back faced them and then slowly slid your panties down, making a show of it and bending over so they saw everything. “Such a fucking tease.” Justin sighed behind you. 

As you walked over to the bed, you could hear the shuffling of fabric behind you. When you made it there, you turned and sat on the edge of the bed, keeping your legs closed tightly, trying to get any friction on your aching core. Justin and Ryan had rid themselves of everything but their boxers, both of their bulges quite prominent. 

In the back of your mind, all you could think of was the fact that this whole situation could ruin your friendship and the dynamics of the group but you wanted it so badly right now that you weren’t thinking rationally. You wanted them. 

The two men came closer to you and as they did, you reached out towards them and began to palm them through their boxers. Justin threw his head back at the contact and Ryan closed his eyes, a strangled moan sighing from his lips. Justin reached down and grabbed your wrist though, “Tonight’s for you.” 

“Maybe I want to do this.” You looked up at both of the men through your long lashes to see them look hesitant for a moment but they shrugged. 

“Go ahead then, I guess.” Ryan laughed a little but it was cut off by you reaching into his boxers and removing his erection, making him gasp. He was definitely nothing to be disappointed about. After taking Justin into your other hand, you saw that Justin was slightly larger in all aspects but Ryan was still definitely impressive. 

You leaned to your right, taking Justin into your mouth as far as you could, swirling your tongue around the tip. He groaned loudly as you pulled off of him with a pop of your lips. Your hand continued to work him while you did the same to Ryan. Quiet moans fell from both of their lips as you twisted your hand around their members. 

Leaning over, you took Ryan into your mouth, first licking up his shift and then focusing on the tip with your tips. Precum leaked from his tip, further slicking up his shaft as you took him into your mouth. Ryan reached down to gather your hair in his fist, using it to gently guide your head up and down. When he hit the back of your throat, your throat tensed up reflexively, tightening around his cock. “Fuck, baby.” Ryan groaned out. 

“How about you lay back, sweetheart.” Justin suggested, removing his shaft from your grip. You could tell by the way he was panting that he had been close and was trying to regain his composure. You obeyed, leaving both of them to climb on the bed. 

You realized that you didn’t quite know the logistics of all this though. “So, how exactly do we…” You bit your lip, feeling awkward all of a sudden. 

“Get on your hands and knees.” Ryan demanded, his sudden dominance sending a shiver down your spine. You climbed onto your hands and knees, ass sticking in the air. Ryan climbed onto the bed as well, lying on the bed in front of you. His cock stood tall in front of your face so you did the first thing you could think of and replaced your mouth on his cock, now able to take him deeper in this new position. 

Ryan chuckled a little, closing his eyes, “Fuck, so eager.” His hands ran through your hair again, brushing it all over to one side. 

Justin came to stand behind you, one of his hands rubbing over your back and then down to your ass. With his other hand, he rubbed his tip through your folds and over your clit, making you moan around Ryan’s cock, sending him crazy. Just as Justin began to enter you, he pulled out quickly, smacking your ass. 

You jumped at the unexpected blow, Ryan’s cock falling from your mouth. “Wow.” You giggled a little, still shocked that he smacked you but not opposed to it. 

Justin noticed, “Sorry, sweetheart. Your ass just really looked good and I had to. I’ll stop if you want.” He soothed the area he hit with his palm. 

You shook your head, “No, no, I kinda liked it. I just wasn’t expecting it.” 

You could almost feel the cocky smirk on his face as he swatted you again, “Good cause I really wanted to do it again.” You bit your lip as your body jolted forward again. 

You began working Ryan in your mouth again, your hand moving up and down what you couldn’t fit. Justin gently entered you from behind, both of you moaning at the new feeling. “You’re so fucking tight. Holy shit.” His pace was slow at first but once you all got adjusted, he sped up. Your body bounced between the two men, Ryan going further into your mouth every time Justin pounded into you. 

Your senses were on fire, the feeling of being filled so completely becoming overwhelming. The knot in your stomach quickly built until you were shaking to the point where you couldn’t keep sucking Ryan off. Your eyes had slid shut and your arms collapsed under your pressure and you face down on the bed between Ryan’s legs. Your mouth had fallen open as you whimpered. Ryan began stroking himself to the sight in front of him, you being railed ass up and he focused on the delicious sounds coming from you. 

Your walls began to clench as you were just about to fall over the edge but Justin quickly pulled out before you could. You almost cried, “Justin!” 

He rubbed your ass again, “Awe, I’m sorry. I promise, it’ll be better this time when you do cum. Now flip over on your back.” 

Still frustrated at him, still wanting to cum so bad, you obeyed. Justin helped you readjust until your head was hanging off the edge of the bed and your body was lying across it still. Ryan came up close to you and sat back on his knees, grabbing your legs and pulling them around his waist. He slowly entered you, his cock rubbing all along your g-spot in this new angle. “Fuck.” You whimpered, grabbing your breasts. 

Justin stood at the foot of the bed, his large cock wavering in front of your face, “Is this alright?” 

You nodded, proactively guiding his cock into your mouth, tasting yourself on his skin. Both of the men tried an experimental thrust or two, trying to set a good rhythm. Once they found it, it was game over for you. 

Both Justin and Ryan slammed into you hard. You were a moaning mess around Justin’s cock which drove him insane. Ryan gripped your hips so tightly, you knew there’d be bruises you’d have to hide. “You feel so fucking good.” Justin praised, bending over and sucking on your breasts while he thrust down your throat. 

“You take us so well, baby.” Ryan’s praise turned you on. 

Justin’s cock twitched in your mouth and you could tell he was close. He quickly stood back up and removed himself from your mouth. Pumping himself a few last times, he bust all across your chest, your tits covered in his seed. “Fuck-” He groaned, eyes shut as he slowed down his movements. 

Ryan kept ramming into you with a force you never thought possible of the man. That knot in your stomach returned and you found yourself gripping the bed sheets beneath you, “Fuck, Ryan, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum.” You kept saying, eyes closed shut as you felt your orgasm building. You could already tell that this was stronger than any orgasm you’d had before. 

“Keep your eyes open. I wanna watch you fall apart.” Justin demanded. Your eyes slid open just in time to see Ryan slip his thumb down onto your clit, rubbing fast and tight circles which threw you overboard. 

Electricity burst through your body as you came. You let out a high pitched moan, much louder than you ever expected, and your body shook. Ryan kept working your through your orgasm, “Holy fuck!” Ryan exclaimed, his thumb still running over your clit as you just kept cumming. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” It was all you could say, all you could comprehend. You’d never cum this hard or long in your life. 

“Y/N…” Ryan groaned out as he came inside you, the clenching over your walls sending him overboard. 

He pulled out when finally, you came down from your orgasm. 

“Holy fucking shit!” Justin laughed, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” 

You sat up on your elbows, legs still spread around Ryan’s waist. You saw the sheets soaked and a liquid other than sweat on Ryan’s torso. “Oh my gosh. I am so sorry!” You covered your face, absolutely humiliated. 

Ryan reached up and removed them caringly, “Don’t be sorry! I’ve never seen a girl actually squirt like that and it was so fucking sexy.” 

“Round two?” Justin suggested and you laughed, lying back down and brushing your sweaty hair out of your face. 

“Gimme a sec.” You laughed. 

[crue-sixx]

Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride

Title: Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride

Fandom: The Dirt

Summary: The reader is Vince's long time friend (who he's had a crush on forever), who he is very fond of and who is fond of him as well.  It's been a few years since they last seen each other and is indeed a shock at how much she's changed.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, murder and suicide, suicide attempt

In high school, things were much easier.  You had your life all set out for you-meet a nice young man at church, marry him and have his babies and get a part-time job to help care for the kids and upkeep the house.  As with any school, it did have the cliques and yours was the religion club that everyone dubbed "The Jesus Freaks" but that wasn't entirely true.  The club welcomed people of all religions, most of them just happened to be Christian or Catholic with a hint of Jewish people in there.  The purpose of the club was to research other religions to help the members understand the main aspects of them rather than make ignorant assumptions.

It was there you had met a surfer boy-brunette, a natural tan who had a very good singing voice.  He was in a band, making him irresistible to the ladies.  Well, saying that you met him in high school wasn't accurate.  You actually met for the first time in third grade where he acted like a gentleman with you.  He held open doors and kissed your hand whenever he led you through them.  The teachers thought it was the cutest thing and informed both your parents. 

As you grew up, he changed-not for the better either.  You and him always stayed friends and since your families lived next door to each other he mistook your house for his when he was trying to sneak in.  The layout was identical so where your bedroom was on the ground floor near the back of the house was where his room was in his own house.  More than a few times he'd climbed through your window thinking it was his and flopped down on your bed next to you in a drunken or drugged up stupor, and you were a heavy sleeper by nature so you didn't feel him crawl into bed with you until you woke up to start your day.

The first time it happened, you let out a yelp in surprise and your father started banging on your door with "Y/N?!  What's going on in there?!" the noise had scared Vince awake and it took him a minute to realize where he was. 

You motioned for him to stay quiet and you answered "Just a spider, Daddy!" you then thumped your foot and shouted "Got it!"

Your father sighed in relief and said "Sweet Jesus girl, I thought that Wharton boy was in there!" Vince gave you a look and you mouthed that you'd tell him later at school. 

However, when school did come around and you tried to talk to him, he wouldn't give you the time of day.  This got you sneers from the other girls that hung around him and he caught the look of hurt in your face and he closed his eyes in frustration.  He was being a horse's ass to the one girl he actually liked romantically.  He was always attracted to your innocence, to him you were like Bambi.  After school he walked you home, but just because it was on the way to his house too.  "Hey...about earlier..." he started, but you cut him off.

"So now it's okay to talk to me when your whores aren't around?" you said sarcastically.  He winced, knowing full well he deserved it.

"Y/N, I have a reputation to uphold!  I'm a ladies man!" he laughed, but you didn't think it was funny.

"We've been friends since the third grade and THIS is how you treat me?" you turned to go into your house when you added "Maybe the next time you climb into my bedroom I won't be so willing to lie to my father!" you then slammed the door in his face.  He was kicking himself as he awkwardly went to his own house to brood over it.

The next week he mistook your room for his again, but you were awake working on a project for class when you heard your window open.  He wasn't that drunk, just a little buzzed when you helped him inside so he didn't make noise and wake up the whole house.  If your father knew a boy had snuck into your room the wrath of God would have fallen upon both you and Vince.  "What are you doing here, Vinny?" you softly asked him.

He giggled a little and said "I wanted to say sorry for being a jackass last week..." he gave a salute and said "sorry".

You rolled your eyes knowing he was sincere but you pitied him because he thought he needed alcohol to gather up the courage to talk to you.  "Apology accepted" you smiled at him and settled him back on your bed.  "Now sleep it off and I'll see you in the morning" you then kissed his forehead and he rolled over and began snoring softly.

He wanted so bad to kiss you that night, but he didn't.  He knew you weren't that kind of girl that he was used to fucking then leaving.  You were virtuous and beautiful in a baby deer kind of way, you still had childlike features to your face and personality.  He didn't want to corrupt that in you so he buried his feelings under booze and whatever substances he could get his hands on.  He wanted to know the feeling of you beneath him, him actually sober and making slow sweet love to you instead of a messy tumble of fucking he did with his groupies. 

When morning did come and he went into your bathroom with you to take a shower, you were alone in the house with him.  Your parents were on a mission trip with the church and your siblings were at your aunt's house.  Your parents trusted you to be alone and take care of the house without throwing a wild party.  "Don't you have any soap that isn't girly?" he snorted and poo-pooed at your lavender vanilla scented soap.

"Well I would have stocked Irish Spring if I knew I'd have a gentleman caller" you joked back to him.  You didn't even hear the front door open and your little brother David come in, until he was at the bathroom door.

"Y/N?" he called out "It's David!  I left my toothbrush in there!  I just need to get it!" the bathroom door didn't lock so you panicked and jumped in the shower with Vince, who had his back to you

"Come on in Dave!" you called back, making Vince jump and go wide eyed that you were in the shower with him, you putting a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet "Just don't look at your sister naked!"

David came in and remarked "I would wash my eyes in bleach if I saw you naked, Y/N..." you were still in your pajamas, which were now getting soaked and your brother continued "Now don't be late for school!  You have a presentation today!" he then walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him and you waited until you heard the front door close and lock when you released his mouth.

Vince went rigid when he saw you in the shower with him, this was one of the many wet dreams he had that contributed to his morning wood most days.  You two would be making passionate love among the steam and hot water and just when he was about to admit his feelings for you, he woke up and he'd have to take care of the tent he'd pitched in his sleep.

"Someone's getting bolder" he chuckled and shut off the water, grabbing a towel before she noticed his hardening length.  If it were any other girl, he'd wear his erection loud and proud but you were more than a one night stand.

"Not really" you said, hopping out and getting the floor wet from your dripping clothes "just if my brother caught me in here with a boy, he'd tell our dad and there would be hell to pay" you turned around to give him some privacy.

"You got a point there" he laughed, putting his clothes back on, hiding his growing erection in the waistband of his pants until he got home to deal with it.  "So I hear some rumors you finally got yourself a boyfriend?"

You blushed at that, having met your first love Jeremiah at the youth group at church. "Yes, his name's Jeremiah" you smiled at the thought of him.  He was a sweet boy, from a good family and had the same virtues you did.  He also wanted to wait for marriage to have sexual relations.

Vince's heart sank when you confirmed it.  He had waited too long and let his 'friends' influence get in the way of him revealing his true feelings for you.  "O-oh...." he went silent a moment and asked "Is he good to you?"

"The best" you answered truthfully.  He was the perfect gentleman in every way-he opened doors for you, pulled your chair out and in at meals and even paid when he took you out, despite your protests that you could pay sometimes too with your part time job at the grocery store.

Vince looked down only a moment and excused himself to his own room, where he relieved himself of the sexual frustration and cursed himself for not telling you how he felt sooner.  It was after school when he was done fucking his baby mama Tammi that he heard something that made his blood boil.  After they had fixed their clothes, Tammi asked him "You love Y/N, don't you?"

He paused only a moment and admitted "Yeah..."

"I know it's not my business, but I have lunch period with her about 1:30" she said nervously, stroking her pregnant belly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he looked at her confused.

"Well, I have a morning class with her too" she twitted her fingers "And it wasn't until lunch that she had a fresh goose egg over her eye..."

This had his full attention "What? What happened?"

"She wouldn't talk about it to anyone" she shook her head "Just kept crying and saying she was sorry" Tammi was somewhat acquainted with you and from what she saw she did like you.  She had noticed the way Vince gave you longing glances in the halls at school, but he dared not speak to you with his friends and groupies around him.

He only had to think a second before he hissed "Jeremiah..."

What had happened was that Jeremiah was more than in love with you-he was obsessed.  He kept watch over your house nightly, making sure you were faithful to him.  His mind was at rest for the first week but when he saw that no good Wharten kid sneak into your window and stay the night he was more than livid.  When he finally got you alone at school before lunch he asked "Did you fuck him?"

You were taken aback, Jeremiah never cursed in front of you much less AT you.  "What are you talking about?" you asked honestly, you not knowing he'd been watching your house.

"That brunette surfer kid" he growled "I saw him sneaking into your house last night and he didn't leave until this morning!"  he was showing aggression where he had none before.

"You mean Vince?" you laughed "He's just a friend.  We live next door to each other and sometimes he mistakes my room for his and I let him sleep it off" it was an unexpected thing for him to punch you in the face.

You fell back and your eye started swelling right away.  He wasn't apologetic and he just said "Next time I see you with him, I'll make you regret ever knowing him..." in a dark tone.  He left you to pick yourself up and took yourself to the nurse, where you told your first lie.

"I fell into a doorknob" you said, trying to smile "I'm just really clumsy..."  the nurse didn't believe you for a second but she wrote what you said in the file none the less, gave you an ice pack and sent you on your way.

You had lunch next and you just broke down in tears when people asked you about it.  You couldn't say anything other than "I'm sorry" repeatedly like a lunatic. Even Vince's baby mama Tammi was concerned, but she got the same words as everyone else.

After school you were walking by yourself, your eye a scarlet letter on your face.  You held your books to your chest and walked quickly home.  You heard your name being called and when you saw Vince coming towards you, you walked quicker.  He sped up to keep pace and you ran the rest of the way home, him hot on your heels.  When you fumbled with your house key he caught up to you and spun you around.  He paused a moment when he saw your black eye, and his facial expression changed from shock, to sadness and finally rage as he asked "Did Jeremiah do that to you?"

"I can't talk to you anymore" you quickly opened the door and slammed it in his face.  You didn't want to, but you were afraid of what Jeremiah would do if he found out about even that small exchange.  Of course he was watching from the bushes across the street.  He had heard everything and what you had told him, a swell of pride filled his heart. 

The two of you graduated and moved in together, him proposing to you after graduation and you graciously accepted.  You had almost forgotten about the black eye he'd given you, until you caught a glimpse of Vince looking totally crushed a few feet behind him.  That summer is when all things went to Hell.

Four years later, you had moved to Los Angeles to get away from everything.  The constant nagging from your mother and the memory of your wedding day still haunted you-the police had returned the wedding video from the evidence locker, you having requested it back so you had a reminder that the best way to survive was all alone.

You had moved in with some friends that lived in a crack den, who were more than happy to show you the unhealthiest ways of coping with trauma.  You started hitting the bars and clubs with abandon, your whole appearance changing from the pristine good girl image to the dirtiest hooker on the Sunset Strip.  A new up and coming rock band named Motley Crue was frequenting the Troubadour and you just so happened to see one of their shows and were surprised to see that you knew their front man.  When their set was done, they all hit the bar and you saddled up next to the now blonde Vince and said "Long time, no see Vinny" he looked you up and down.

"Have we met?" he looked like he was desperately trying to remember your name, like you were a one night stand that was trying to get another round with his dick,

"We only lived next door to each other since third grade, goofball" you smiled at him, you having lost a considerable amount of weight.  You looked more like a dying person than a woman with your features sunken in.

His eyes widened as he realized "Y/N?!" he got off his stool and took you into a corner to talk to you "What are you doin' here?!  This isn't a place for someone like you!"

"You mean a Bible Thumper?" you laughed, then coughed a smoker's cough.  "I put that life behind me, babe" you were already sloshed and falling over yourself.

He began to tear up and said "What happened to you...you never were like..." he motioned to your whole frame from your hair dyed black to the bottom of your high heeled shoes "this?"

You sobered up a moment and gave the best answer you could "Life" and you went on talking with him, not giving up any details about the past four years.  He asked where you were staying and when you answered he looked even more disheartened.

"That's a crack den, Y/N..." he said, even he didn't mess with crack at that time. 

"I know" you giggled "why do you think I live there?"

"Please Y/N...come with me" he pleaded.  Him and his friends still partied and did drugs, but with people they knew would call an ambulance if the shit hit the fan.

You grew defensive and said "I'm not that same scared Bambi I used to be Vinny.  She's long dead" you gathered your things but he grabbed your arm and insisted on giving you their number to the apartment in case you needed to get a hold of him.  You took it, secretly wanting to be close to him too.

After the party had winded down and everyone left, Nikki asked Vince "Who was that chick you were talking to at the bar?"

Vince paled and said "Someone I used to know.  I've been in love with her since the third grade.  She used to be someone who I wouldn't even give a second glance to now, one of those good girl types..."

Tommy stumbled into the living room with "Dude, if you had feelings for her why didn't you ever tell 'er?"

"I was afraid it'd mess up our friendship" he put his head down, it pounding from the hangover he was nursing "besides, I heard she got married to her high school sweet heart" he pouted.

"Well what the fuck went wrong?" Nikki asked.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out" he was determined to do just that.  He had kept contact with you almost every day when he'd go to the crack den to check on you, to which you assured him that you didn't need to be babysat like a child.  He was even more pissed off when he found out how you were funding your habits.  One of the guys who owned a bar down the street said that you'd been prostituting yourself for cash, drugs and booze (which was true).

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he scolded "What happened that made you change so much?!"

You were just as angry with him getting into your business and you said "Why are you getting so mad at me?!  You're just as bad as I am!"

"You used to be such a good girl, Y/N!" he started to sound like a square and he didn't care.  He loved you even after all this time.

"You know you're starting to sound like my father-" you stopped and then broke down in tears.  He tried to comfort you but you pushed him off.  "If I wanted someone to yell at me, then I would have stayed with my fuckin' mother!"

That night, you needed a hit of the good crack.  You took more than you were used to and had a very bad trip.  Jeremiah came back, his skin colored like a corpse and the bullet hole where he shot himself at the alter was in full view.  "You don't deserve to wear white" was all he was saying to you, the word echoing in your head.  You just wanted it all to stop so you tried to end it all.

The next morning the phone in the apartment blared and Tommy picked it up with a groggy "Hello?"  when the caller asked for Vince, he thew one of his drumsticks at him, hitting him in the eye.

"Tommy!  What the fuck dude?!" he jolted awake.

"Phone" he handed over the phone and Vince listened intently.

"Ummm...this is gonna sound really bad...Y/N tried to kill herself last night..."

"What?!" Vince was now fully awake "How?!  Where is she?!"

"She slit her wrists and let herself bleed out in the tub" he caller said "we called the paramedics in time.  She's at L.A. General, on the crazy floor.  She kept screaming for you while they were taking her away..." he hung up the phone and tossed a pair of shoes on, sprinting to the hospital in nothing but pajama bottoms.

He demanded that they let him see you, but they said that you'd be in detox at least a week and then in the regular ward for a month, then he could see you during visiting hours.  The only rules he had to follow was that he couldn't bring anything in and that he couldn't be fucked up on anything.  He obliged and visited you every change he could when he wasn't hammered or high.  "Why'd you cut yourself Y/N?" he asked gently, his warm hand recoiling when he felt your icy cold ones.

"I don't want to talk about it" you said, getting uncomfortable.  The only think you wanted now was your fix of crack. 

"We're going to have to eventually" he put his hands on your shoulder and rested his head on top of yours.  Him fucking you was the last thing on his mind right now, a first for Vince about any woman.

You turned to face him and looked up, a shadow of your former self seeping through "I will tell you, someday" you hugged into his chest and nuzzled there "but I'm not ready anytime soon...please be patient..."

He smiled and hugged you close to him "Okay Y/N" even after all this time, you still smelled like lavender vanilla.

When you were finally discharged, you went to live in the apartment with Vince and his friends, who knew well enough not to ask about the bandages on your arms.  You did slow down on the drinking and drug use, but didn't stop cold turkey.  It was a pace that Vince approved of, that he could keep an eye on you.

It was a few weeks into living with them that you'd left your wedding tape out on accident.  You were looking for something else in your luggage and forgot to put it back.  Tommy saw it on the counter and said "Hey, It's Y/N and Jeremiah's wedding video!  Let's watch it!"  you were sleeping deeply in Vince's room, where you had recently agreed to become a couple.

Mick was there too, him being over to make music with them.  He had met you a few days ago, him wondering about the bandages on your wrists but not daring to ask.  Vince had told him all about you and how he never shut the fuck up about you.  He could see why the blonde was so enthralled with you.  He said "Come on, guys.  Leave it alone..."  Nikki and Vince agreed with Tommy and popped it into the VCR.  None of them were ready.

You looked beautiful in your white wedding dress, flawless hair and make-up.  This was the day you'd been dreaming of since you were a little girl, and even more so when Jeremiah asked for your hand.  You spent all summer planning for an early fall wedding and everything was in place.  Your father walked you down the aisle to your husband to be, where he was looking rather annoyed.  You figured it was just nerves on his end, you couldn't say anything against him about that.  You were nervous too. 

You held hands and did your vows, but instead of him saying his vows to you, he said "Did you fuck my brother?"

The whole crowd gasped and looked at you.  His brother James was the best man, and he too looked just as shocked as you did.  The accusation wasn't true and you said as such.

"Then why was my brother at our house all night when I was gone?"

"You know it's bad luck to see the bride 24 hours before the wedding bro" his brother stepped up, telling the truth "I was only there to help her write her vows to you dude!"

It was then Jeremiah pulled out a gun and shot his brother in the chest, him bleeding out right in front of you.  You screamed and stepped away from him. Your father rushing to him to try and wrestle the gun away.  He shot your father too, him being dead before he hit the ground.  The church was in pandemonium, the people running around to get away from the madman with the gun.

He then turned to you, hugging you close to him and whispering something in your ear before blowing his brains out, spattering your pure white dress with his blood and brain matter.

You had gotten up because you heard something familiar and went to see if what you thought was going on actually was.  You weren't ready to talk about it yet, but the cat was out of the bag now.  You waited until the camera shut off and said "You don't deserve to wear white" causing all the them to jump and look at you, all of them with horrified expressions on their faces.  "That's what he whispered in my ear before he shot himself" you pressed rewind and took the tape out when it was finished.

"He thought I was screwing his brother behind his back" you explained "but I wasn't.   I only called him over to help me write my vows and he was tired so I let him sleep on the sofa" Vince then wished he had waited until she was ready to tell him herself, but that was impossible now.

"Killed his brother, and my father" you then sat down and started softly crying "my mother and brothers wouldn't even talk to me after that.  I spent a year in a psych ward, then wandered around until I got to L.A.  Found all the drugs and booze that could numb the pain" you then went to the kitchen to get yourself a snack like nothing happened.

Vince got up and could only hug you softly "I'm sorry" was all he could say, you feeling him crying on your shoulder.  You touched his arm and cried with him.  Tommy, Nikki and Mick vacated the apartment to give you some privacy.

"That man broke me, Vinny" you turned and hugged into his chest and he looked down at you "even after death, he still broke me...all it took was time and pressure..."

"You know" he pulled away and said "time and pressure make the most beautiful diamonds"  you couldn't help but snort laugh at him and slapped his arm playfully.

"I should have waited until you were ready to tell me" he admitted "I'm sorry for violating that..."

"I don't know if I would have ever told you" you said honestly.

"I wouldn't have asked anyway" he stroked your hair and began kissing you breaking it off to say "I love you.  I always have, and always will..."

"I love you too, Vince"

[ladynuwanda]

Invisible to the Eye - Michael LangdonXFemale Reader one-shot (word count: 4,4K)

(This was a request by my darling @alexcornerblog, basically the first ever request that I’ve received, and I loved doing it! It’s about Outpost!Michael, Reader is a Grey that works for him. As she conquers her fear for her new boss, she might find out that the cold exterior hides a lonely boy who’s in need of affection just as much as she is. It contains some sweet, sweet smut... I hope you enjoy!💖)

(edit, 26th of July 2019: beautiful art by my darling @hecohansen31, thank you ever so much for your kindness, sweetie...  🌸)

Being invisible was just part of a Grey’s job, I think. That’s probably why they decided to dress us in grey to begin with, to make it easier for us to blend into the background (but the ridiculous dildo-bun hairstyle they made us wear, I’m pretty sure served only for humiliation purposes). We were just supposed to keep the Outpost running, doing post-apocalyptical hard work. It sucks, but it’s still better than the alternative. They saved only those they thought could make a contribution to society... and those who could pay for it, or course. So basically if you’re rich you’re a Purple, if you’re useful you’re a Grey. You’re a very smart servant pampering rich people... but it beats being dead, if you ask me.

I mean, it was bad. Venable was insufferable, life in the Outpost was all about rules and fear. But all the time she kept telling us we were the “lucky ones”, and maybe she was right. Just shut up and do your job, and you get to live... it can’t be that hard. Unless you’re Mallory. Mallory had it far worse than the rest of us. Miss Vanderbilt seemed to think that, because Mallory had worked for her before, she could ask her to perform the most absurd kinds of tasks, things you would never ask a stranger. While she kept rubbing Mallory’s face on the fact that she was the only reason Mallory was in the Outpost at all, overlooking the part where she made her kickass assistant a Grey, while making her hairdresser’s grandmother was a Purple. Honestly, rich people! But the cool thing about being invisible is that, as long as you don’t neglect your work, you can do whatever you want when no one’s looking. And no one’s ever looking. So, if you’re an asshole to one of the Greys, you shouldn’t be surprised if one of the others would eventually use your toothbrush to scrub the toilet. That’s just cause and effect, really.

They wouldn’t even notice that the jell-o cubes that got to the table were slightly smaller than the ones that left the kitchen. And I’m sure not one of the Purples had any idea about the Greys’ late night candle-lit jell-o scrap party in the pantry. It was the only time we could let our hairs down, literally as well as figuratively, and just chill. Laughing off the hardships of the day, talking about the things we missed from the “life before”... sometimes coming up with pranks, like switching the tubes of haemorrhoids ointment and toothpaste’s places in the bathroom drawers. Dinah Stevens screamed something fierce the next morning, when she tried to brush her teeth with haemorrhoids ointment (or was it the other way around?). We had to bite into our own tongues all day, to keep ourselves from laughing whenever we’d see her. Our cheek muscles were aching from the effort to keep a straight face. Totally worth it.

I was still working really hard on staying invisible, but apparently not hard enough. When Cooperative big-shot Michael Langdon showed up at the Outpost and asked for an exclusive chambermaid, Venable decided I was the best choice. Apparently she thought I was both efficient and discreet. How adorable. So why did it feel like I was being punished, instead of rewarded? To say he was intimidating would be an understatement! And even though he requested a “Personal Grey”, I had specific instructions to never be in the room at the same time he was, unless it was absolutely necessary. I was supposed to keep everything tidy and neat while he was walking around the Outpost, terrifying everyone else, bring in his meals and take the trays away. Keep my eyes down and never talk to him, if I could help it. Easy! It’s not like I was dying to make friends with the man, anyway.

No, I wasn’t blind. I was very much aware that this was the most handsome man I had ever seen. His face looked like it had been carved by the angels themselves, for crying out loud! But I wouldn’t use the word “attractive” to describe him. Quite the opposite, actually, everything about him seemed carefully designed to keep everyone else away. It was like he had an wall made of ice around him all the time, and no one was ever allowed in. So, he seemed blissfully ignorant of my existence, and I was more than happy to have my existence ignored by him. It was a nice little non-verbal agreement we had. Until, of course, it wasn’t. I was taking out his tray, one night after dinner, while he was working on his desk when, out of the clear blue sky, he talked to me, like this was something he always did. The sound of his voice made me jump out of my skin, and I had to muffle a yelp by pressing both my hands to my mouth. He acted like he didn’t notice.

“Working for me, you’re gonna end up seeing and hearing things that are not supposed to be seen or heard by anyone else. I trust you’ll keep my secrets. If you play your cards right, little grey mouse, there’s sure to be a ticket for the Sanctuary with your name on it. If you don’t, well... then I’m gonna have to make sure you wish you had died in the blast. Am I being clear?”, I nodded stupidly, “Good. Tomorrow morning I wanna wake up to find actual flames at the fireplace, instead of the usual embers. And you’ll be holding a cup of fresh brewed coffee from my personal stash, understood? That would be all for tonight.”, he carelessly waved me away, without ever looking at me.

With a small curtsy, I left the room as fast as could, nearly forgetting the tray I was supposed to take. He had coffee? Actual coffee? No. That’s not what I should be focusing on. He can take me to the Sanctuary! All I had to do was keep my mouth shut about his personal subjects, and brew him coffee. Ok, so no more late night Greys’ parties in the pantry for me. I was sure gonna miss my friends, I kinda felt like a traitor for trying to secure my place in the Sanctuary while leaving everyone behind... But I was the only one whose neck was on the line, here! I don’t even wanna think about what he would do to me if he felt betrayed in any way. His secrets were my secrets, now. And if he didn’t have any friends, then neither did I.

I headed straight for the Greys’ quarters, but I was too anxious to sleep, knowing I’d have to be up before His Majesty the next morning. Mallory was kind enough to give up her little stolen slice of jell-o to stay with me, while all the other Greys were in the pantry. She was trying to talk me into sleep, so she crawled under the covers in my bed with me, our heads covered by my bedsheets while we carried our conversation in whispers, sharing my pillow. It’s the kind of cutesy sister/confidant cliché you’d only find in a Jane Austen novel, that I would never have even considered taking part of in my “life before”. But somehow it seemed appropriate in this scenario... and, I had to admit, not at all unpleasant.

“So what’s your new boss like? Is he nice?”

“Mallory, you’ve seen the man... he’s a nightmare!”

“It’s not a proper nightmare until they call you up in the bathroom to wipe their assholes clean...”

“Ew! Good point. I don’t think he’d ever do that, tho. He’s too... Dignified.”

“A dignified boss. I wonder what that’s like...”

“I’m serious... if I so much as walked into the room while he was leaving the bathroom, I’m pretty sure young-Lucius-Malfoy there would simply Avada Kedavra my ass, just to spare himself the embarrassment...”

“He’s the one who decides who gets to go to the Sanctuary, tho... Are you telling me that if he asked you for special favours, you’d be able to look straight into those deep blue eyes and say no?”, the way she said the words “special favours” made me feel more than a little uncomfortable.

“How d’you know his eyes are deep blue?”, I faked an exaggerated gasp, “You dared look into his eyes? Bold move, Mal.”

“Yeah, that’s me... I’m a motherfucking daredevil.”, we both giggled at her deliberately dull tones, that made clear she meant the exact opposite of her words, “But you’re changing the subject...”

“I’m not changing the subject, Mallory, I’m ending the subject... I should try and get some sleep, I have to be up before our-lord-and-saviour tomorrow.”

“What the hell for?”

“Something about tending to the fireplace...“, I assumed his personal stash of coffee was one of the secrets I was supposed to keep, “Apparently his highness doesn’t like it when he wakes up and the temperature of the room matches that of his heart.”

“So you’ll be there while he’s still asleep... it will be a good opportunity to take a long, hard look at him. Who knows, you might even find out what kind of pajamas he wears... if any.”

“Good Night, Mallory.”

I barely slept a wink, and was already in Langdon’s bedroom before sunrise. The room was actually quite chilly, so I tended to the fireplace right away, then brewed him his coffee. The heavenly scent hit my nostrils and I almost cried tears of joy. I told myself I was taking a small sip just to make sure it tasted right, not because I craved coffee or anything. And it fucking tasted like Christmas morning. I stood next to the bed, the cup in my hands, waiting for him to wake up. Mallory’s words from the previous night still echoing inside my head.

It was, indeed, a good opportunity to take a long, hard look at him. He seemed harmless enough, peacefully sleeping while lying on his stomach. As the room grew warmer he had kicked the blankets off himself in his sleep, so he was wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers now. He really was beautiful. Long, muscular legs and powerful arms lined with delicate veins, his hands under the pillow on either side of his head. His sleeping face looked so much younger, it was almost sweet. His rosy lips were slightly parted, and he had an innocent set to his eyebrows... Before that moment I had had the impression he was a little older, that his beautiful face was a little harder, with sharp angles... and that permanent cold sneer. Now everything about him seemed so, almost overwhelmingly, soft... I felt slightly dizzy at the sight, and realised it was because I had stopped breathing.

I was looking at his lightly tanned back, and I couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like running my fingertips over that smooth skin, feeling the warmth from his body, tracing the graceful lines of the muscles... when his eyes fluttered open. I handed him the cup with my brightest smile “Good morning, Mr. Langd...” - “Don’t.”, he cut me off mid-sentence, holding up a finger to my face, and drinking the coffee he took from my hands without looking at me, as usual. What a lovely man. With another short curtesy (almost my trademark, at this point), I left the room, feeling somewhat relieved that I might not have to see him again before it was time to draw him his bath, that night.

Of course, that perspective was mostly wishful thinking on my part. The reality was that I was about to spend what felt like the whole day going in and out of Michael Langdon’s bedroom. Taking his meals, fetching him a book in the library, fetching him a different book in the library because he changed his mind while I was gone, walking people to and from their interviews with him... by the time I was actually drawing his bath, I could not believe that this day was really over and that I was finally on my last task. I was about to leave the room as he entered, like I was supposed to, when I heard his voice behind me, through the wall of ice that separated him from the rest of the world, “I don’t think I said you were dismissed.”

Ugh. What now? I tried not to look so desperate to get away as I turned around “It’s about time I had someone to wash my hair for me”, I lowered my gaze to the floor as he began untying the belt of his bathrobe “Why are you blushing, grey mouse?” his voice was dripping with sarcasm now “Does the sight of a naked man offend your delicate sensibilities?” was he seriously mock-pouting at me? Really? “Oh, grow up.”, he sneered, finished undressing and entered the bathtub, lying back and closing his eyes with a sigh. How did he do that? He was stark naked, I was fully dressed, and yet... I was the one feeling vulnerable and exposed. I tried to make myself busy, arranging the silver rings he had left on the counter by the bathroom sink into their velvet cases, thinking about the conundrum in which I found myself.

Which one was better (or less bad): should I avoid any kind of eye contact with his, erm, “manhood”? Act like I just couldn’t see it, for some reason? Or was he expecting me to fully acknowledge its existence? Maybe compliment him on his length and girth, whether I meant it or not? Maybe I don’t have to do anything so extreme, either way... I could just, you know, sneak a pick. That sounds reasonable. Not very mature, but you can’t have it all... Ok. I’ll do it. I will! Just one glance, I can do that. Come on! It’s just a penis, for fucks sake, it’s not such a big deal... Oh. Oooh, yes. Yes, it is. It’s a very big deal. It’s a huge, gorgeous - and somewhat veiny - deal. Like... congratulations, mama, it’s most definitely a boy! I was almost tilting my head to the side, losing myself in the view, when the sound of his voice startled me back into reality “my back’s not going to wash itself, you know...”, I looked at his face terrified of the gaze I would find there, but fortunately he hadn’t even opened his eyes.

I kneeled on the floor behind his back, grabbed a sponge and proceeded to scrub him nervously, doing my best not to touch his back with my actual fingers, just the sponge. “Gently”, he groaned through gritted teeth. I had to take a few deep breaths before allowing myself to run a soapy hand to his back. I remembered my own thoughts from that same morning, how I wanted to feel his warmth, his smooth skin... and now that I was, I shouldn’t be surprised do feel my own body responding to it. The red hot sensation up my spine, colouring my cheeks, the way my breathing was getting heavier... The sudden realisation that my hands were soaked in the same water as his naked body actually hit me like an electric shock.

Running my fingers over his muscles I could find a couple, or more, spots that felt very tense to the touch. Without a second thought I rubbed a thumb over one of them, trying to ease the knot, and I froze waiting for his response. He gave a relieved sigh and leaned his back slightly against my hands. I smiled a little to myself and kept rubbing his back, feeling his tension slowly dissolve beneath my fingers. I also gave him a scalp massage, after washing his hair, but for completely selfish reasons: I wanted to see that soft look I had seen in the morning back on his face. That angelic expression he had in his sleep... I felt like I needed it again, more than he did. By the time I was brushing his freshly washed hair, the man was all but purring in delight, like a cat. I had never seen Michael Langdon look so relaxed and, even though it was probably the most foolish thing I could do, I couldn’t help relaxing a little in his presence, running my fingers and the brush through his sweet smelling, silky golden curls.

He wanted some tea before bed and at this point I was no longer surprised that he had a secret stash of tea, as well (I was inclined to believe that there was no way he was living on the jell-o cubes I brought him, alone). He was sitting on his bed with a book when I handed him his cup of melissa tea and, for the first time, he brushed his fingertips over mine, ever so gently, when he was taking the cup from my hands. I looked up, startled by the unexpected touch, and found his glowing blue eyes fixed on mine. He held my eyes on his for a while longer, his plump lips forming a delicate smile, his cheeks flushed pink from the warm bath, and I felt my heart doing a somersault when I heard the words “thank you” coming from his lips, his eyes burning into mine. I had no idea he even knew those words! Feeling myself blush bright red, I managed to mumble an awkward “good night, Mr. Langdon” and fled the bedroom like the place was on fire.

I closed the door and pressed my own back against it, breathing hard. What the hell had just happened? And, now that I was outside, why did it feel so agonisingly difficult to put some distance between myself and that bedroom? When I finally felt that I could move my legs beneath me, I headed for the Greys’ quarters and found Mallory waiting for me again. I told her to go meet the others because I was too tired, I said that I was probably gonna sleep immediately, there was no reason for her to miss the “scrap feast”. But the truth was that I couldn’t bear talking to Mallory, or anyone else, at that moment. Not when I was so uncomfortably aware of my flushed cheeks and the slickness between my legs. I was furious for letting myself get so hot and bothered over Michael Langdon. I felt betrayed by my own body that such a man could have that kind of effect upon me. But at least I didn’t lie to Mallory, I really did fall asleep almost as soon as my head touched the pillow.

The next morning I went into his room even earlier and left the cup of coffee on his bedside table, so I could be out of there before he woke up. Less than an hour later I was notified that, after careful consideration, my boss had decided that “it was counterproductive” (his actual words, apparently) that I should return to the Greys’ quarters every night. From now on, I’d be spending my nights in his bedroom. I even tried to relish on the perverse joy of seeing Venable reduced to being my boss’s carrier-pigeon - and how utterly offended she looked that he would dare make the mighty Wilhemina Venable lower herself to delivering a message to a Grey - instead of delving into the implications of the news she’d just given me.

I was spending the night with Michael Langdon. In his bedroom. At his request. We‘re practically roommates. Oh, my God, we are roommates. And there is only one bed. (Now... where have I heard that before?)

After our newly created nightly ritual of back rubbing and hair brushing, I left his cup of tea on the bedside table and turned to the chaise-longue that was by the wall. I laid myself to sleep without a word, I wouldn’t dare look at his face, I didn’t want to see whether he was relieved or disappointed. I don’t think I could bear either one, to be honest. But, as much as I tried, I just couldn’t fall asleep. I was still fully alert when, a few hours later, I heard Michael Langdon tossing and turning on his bed, mumbling in his restless sleep “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to... I’m so sorry... I’ll be good, I promise... I want to be good... just don’t leave me... please... I don’t wanna be alone... not again... please... I can be good, I know I can... don’t leave me all alone...”

I went to the bed and tried to wake him up as gently as I could, with my hands on his shoulders, repeating his name. He sat up abruptly, his sweaty forehead narrowly missing mine, his round eyes looking wildly around the room until they fell on my face. He looked at me in panic, he seemed younger than ever with tears rolling down his cheeks, his chest heaving with every breath. “It was only a dream, Michael... Mr. Langdon”, I don’t know why I said that, I just needed to break the silence with something. Anything! Before I’d start crying, myself, under the weight of his agonised stare. He knew what I had heard, what I had seen. His mask of composure was long gone and could never be put back into its place. Not before me, at least.

For a second I couldn’t quite read his face, and I was afraid he was going to choke me to death for witnessing his moment of weakness. But instead, he did the last thing I could have expected: he scrunched his face like a child and cried even harder, burying his head on my chest. He threw his arms around my waist pulling me closer, a little too tight, my body shaking with his violent sobbing. There was nothing I could do except run my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head. And wait. Wait for him to cry all his misery out. He eventually fell asleep, all curled up on himself, while I was spooning myself against his back. I wanted to run my fingertips over the small “666” iron-branded behind his ear, that I had noticed the first time I brushed his hair, but for some reason I knew I shouldn’t. So I just passed my arm under his and placed my hand on his shoulder, he crossed his other arm over his chest so his hand could hold onto mine. I fell asleep feeling the sweet scent of his hair, nuzzling the back of his neck, our legs entangled.

By the time I woke up, I had been sleeping on my stomach, on hand resting on the pillow before my face. My position mirrored Michael’s, except that his hand was not on his pillow. Instead, his fingertips were ghosting over my hand and he was already wide awake. It was only when my eyes met his blue gaze that he dared holding my hand. His warm blue eyes remained on mine for a while, and he pulled me closer by the hand he was holding, turning us both on our sides, facing each other, and placed his soft lips on mine, involving me in a warm embrace. His kiss was surprisingly gentle, the sweet caress of his tongue on mine felt almost like a dream, and yet there was a certain hunger about the way he pulled me even closer and ran his hand through my hair.

He removed my hideous grey nightgown, and his lips and hands found my breasts, his tongue swirling around one nipple making me gasp. He moved his soft, wet kisses to my stomach, hooking his fingers on the waistband of the ugliest pair of grey panties ever created by mankind. He pulled it down slowly, like it was the finest lace-lingerie, his eyes always searing into mine with burning desire, so I found myself fumbling to get rid of his black boxers, and straddling his hips. I cupped his face in my hands, and he did the same with my butt-cheeks, as I eased myself on him, very slowly, savouring every inch as he filled me up, my eyes never leaving his. At least until I felt him hitting that tender spot inside me, sending a jolt of pleasure through my whole body as a shaky sob escaped my lips, I felt myself clenching a little around him, and I closed my eyes in delight. My hips were riding his, ever so slightly, as I adjusted to the way he was stretching me out... that unique, delicious, stinging sensation in my core. His mouth was on my breasts again, suckling one nipple. Without warning, his grip got tighter and he turned us both around in a swift, graceful movement, so that now he was on top of me, between my legs.

He rocked his hips against mine, thrusting into me in languid, fluid motions, that reminded me of the gentle caress of waves on the shore. He really was powerful and intense like the ocean, and I was lost in his eyes, gladly drowning myself in that ocean. So when the wave of pleasure from my orgasm washed over me, it caught me completely off-guard. I heard an animalistic groan that, very surprisingly, was coming from my own lips as I arched my back, digging my fingernails on the smooth skin of Michael’s back. He smirked, satisfied, at the trembling mess beneath him that was me. But apparently the way I was tightening myself around him was too much for his self-control, and he found his own release soon after I did. He threw his head back in ecstasy, his eyes tightly shut as he spilled himself deep inside me. His body collapsed on top of mine, shaking violently, a groan that could match my own muffled against the curve of my neck.

He raised himself on his elbows to look at me, gently tangling his fingers on my hair. His eyes were like blue flames bringing the warmth of life to my soul, that ice wall that used to stand between us completely shattered and forgotten, and now I could see him clearly, every aspect of him: The lonely boy, the powerful man, the gentle lover, the merciless judge, the angel, the demon... And now he could see me, too. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had felt truly seen, specially when I had spent most of my time trying so hard to be invisible. You spend long enough being treated as less than human, as a little mouse, and you might as well start to believe that’s what you are. But he could see me now. He was looking at me like I was so much more, like I was some kind of goddess he was in awe of. He leaned over to place his soft lips on mine once more, his tongue delicately parting my lips in search of my own. And I heard the hollow crack of my heart breaking in half right at the moment a burning question crossed my mind, searing white-hot like a lightning bolt:

How does one go back to being invisible, after being seen by Michael Langdon?

[lovelyrocker]

Love Is Blind Ch.4

~RPF

~Warnings: Jared being extremely sweet.(yes, that needs a warning!), Teenage intimacy,       Jealousy 

~Characters: Jensen, Jared, Lexi(OFC), Spencer(OC),

~Pairings: Jared x Lexi(Eventually)

~Word Count: 2,435

Lexi rolled over in the giant bed, the feeling of warmth wrapped around her. She nestled her head into the warm feeling, relaxing into the curves that molded against her. She slowly blinked her eyes and was greeted by Jared’s warm golden skin. His eyes were still closed as he slept and his face lay inches from hers. 

“Jared.” She whispered as soft as the wind.

“Hmm?” He hummed lightly, lifting his brows.

Lexi reached her index finger and poked the tip of his nose. “Wake up.” She whispered again. “I need you to let me go so I can go to the bathroom.” Jared hadn’t realized when he first woke that he had his arms around Lexi, holding her. 

Jared rolled over to his back and stretched his long arms over his head as Lexi crawled out the foot of the bed to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she crawled back into the bed and under the covers.

“What time is it?” Jared mumbled.

“The sun’s barely up. How is it always so much colder in the morning here? It wasn’t even this cold a few hours ago when we went to bed.”

“Come here.” Jared slid his arms around her body. “You’re shivering.”

“God, you are so warm.” Wrapping her arms around his long torso she welcomed his body heat.

After a while her body stopped shivering and began to relax against him again. Jared leaned his head on hers and swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing against her head. 

“Lex?” His voice cracked as he lay there with open eyes.

“Mmhmm.” Lexi hummed drufted off again.

“About earlier… umm...”

“Don’t worry about it, dude.” Her voice was sleepy and she squirmed a little. “No biggie.”

“But-”

“It’s okay, really. Now stop stressin’ and go back to sleep.” She felt Jared grin into her hair as she snuggled a little closer.

~

“Lex, did you see this?!” She heard the bedroom door burst open and then felt the bed sink.

“What?!” She said sleepily as she tossed the blankets off her face.

“Your party is the IT thing on instagram right now!” Ellie handed her phone to her.

“Not just Instagram but Twitter, too!” Cassie added jumping on the bed.

Lexi opened her phone and saw hundreds of notifications on both her Twitter and Instagram, tags of #AcklesSweet16 were plastered all over. She flipped through her news feed on both pages and saw numerous pictures of her and her friends at the party last night, dancing and laughing. Jared walked out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth and paused when he saw the three girls in his bed under the covers.

“What’s with the squealing?” Jensen questioned as he walked into the room rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t know. I walked out of the bathroom and they’re all in here.” Jared took his toothbrush out his mouth and walked into the bathroom and spit the reemerged. “You know, if we were normal people, this would appear so wrong.”

“Nah, No one would look twice at three teenage girls in a thirty two year old man’s bed.” He  joked, slapping Jared’s back then hopping on the bed. “What’s the noise about?”

“Jay, my party is all over Instagram and Twitter!” Lexi squealed and handed him her phone. 

Jensen flipped through her notifications. “Damn, you are quite the social butterfly.” He smiled at her.  “Breakfast is just about done, ladies. Gen and Dee made a southern buffet.” He hopped out of bed.”So I hope y’all hungry.”

The smell was traveling quickly up the stairs as they followed Jensen down. Lexi, however waited at the door for a moment as Jared finished up in the bathroom. “Thanks.” She said softly, Jared glanced up to her. “For sharing your bed.” She gestured in the direction in which they’d slept.

A little grin crept across his lips. “Anytime.”

“I, uh, I have that photo shoot you set me up with tomorrow after school.”

“Oh really? Are you nervous?” Jared asked closing the bathroom door.

“A little. I haven’t modeled in a while.”

“You’ll do amazing, I know it.”

“You should swing by, if you finish shooting early enough. See your friend.” She added before walking out.

~

Classes seem to fly by as Lexi was greeted by her party guests telling her again how much they enjoyed the evening. After school, she hopped a bus to where she needed to be and immediately got to work. She fell quickly into the routine the photographer wanted and was fast with her wardrobe changes. Make up was fun, as she got to pick out the colors she wanted. As the shoot went on, she gave pointers to the other girls who weren’t used to the chaos of a photoshoot.

They were on their last rounds of photos when Jared and Jensen showed up. They watched Lexi, dressed in blue jeans and a grey sweater, as she posed. The bright smile she flashed as she played around in the fall leaves being used as a prop made Jared’s heart sink. It damn near dropped to his feet when she changed into a short cocktail dress and posed with a young man. A young man that held her close and gazed into her eyes deeply, the two looking as if in love. Jared couldn’t identify the reason his heart began hammering in his chest. But, he was doing a damn good job at hiding it.

“Oh, she is having so much fun.” Jensen leaned to Jared a proud look about him.

 “Yeah, she is.” Jared smilde shoving his hands in his pockets.

Jensen didn’t notice the way Jared watched Lexi. How he noticed her every hair flip. Every bat of her eye. Every pout. He noticed it all and he hated that he did. He hated that he was so intrigued by her. That she made him feel like a dumb kid at times. She left him not knowing how he was going to feel at any given time she was around.

After about an hours wait she finished up and quickly changed into her regular clothes. “Where did Jay go?” She asked, walked out and pulling her hair from her shirt. 

“He ran ahead to get some take out.” He nodded his head in the direction of the exit. “Before the diner time rush. I told him I’d take you home.”

“So instead of volunteering to get the food you volunteered to drive me home?” She smiled at him. “Awe, I feel so special.” She poked fun. “I’ll grab the rest of my stuff and we can go.”

“Jared!” A voice called. It was Marissa, Jared’s friend that ran the shoot that day.

“Hey, Marissa, how are you?” He asked pulling her into a hug.

“I’m great! Thanks for sending Lexi our way! She is amazing!” Marissa beamed. ”I didn’t know Jensen had a sister that young.”

“She looks older than she is.” Jared said only half sarcastically.

“Tell me about it. Such a natural, too. Made our job easy today.” She smiled at Jared but their conversation was cut short as she was called away.

“Ready?” Lexi asked walking up to Jared.

“Marissa just bragged about you.” Jared said with a pleased grin. “Said you did amazing and made her job easy today.”

“Really?!” 

“Yep. You should be proud of yourself.” Reaching the car he opened the door for her and she climbed in.

“I am, actually.” She beamed. “I really overcame my self doubt today.”

“That great!” Lexi’s phone buzzed then dinged in her lap. “You’re popular tonight. That’s the fourth time your phone has gone off since we walked out of the building.”

“It’s Ellie. She is bugging me about Spencer.” Lexi rolled her eyes.

“What about him?” Jared tried not to sound too curious.

“He, uh, he asked me out. On, on a date.”

Jared, being overly curious, pushed the conversation farther. “Well, do you like him?”

“I guess so, yeah.” She answered honestly.

“Then what’s the issue?”

“I’m just cautious, I guess.”

“My opinion, if you like the guy and he likes you, go for it.” Jared encouraged.

Yeah, go for it, he thought. Maybe her being with a guy her age will get some of those odd thoughts from his head. At least he hoped.

*4 Months Later*

 Although their chemistry was undeniable, Lexi still insisted on moving slowly. The attraction between them was based on mainly physical attraction but still. They got along and were sweet on each to an extent. Other than that, things sizzled out. The constant texting and hours on the phone eventually slowed but the sexual attraction was still very much there. Spencer had agreed to take things slow with Lexi, being satisfied with their heated make out sessions. But growing temptation led them to where they were today. On the couch in the living room tangled in a heated mess of grouping hands, Spencer pulling at her clothes, legs tangled in one another. They were oblivious to anything around them. It was just them getting lost in each other. Which is why they didn’t hear Jared when he came home.

Jared casually walked into the house after filming since dawn and he was exhausted. He tossed his jacket over the back of a chair a rounded the corner of the living room when he saw Lexi and Spencer. Jared’s blood ran hot and he felt his face burn at the site of the young boy on top of Lexi.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He all but shouted.

“Jared! Wh- what are you doing here?” Lexi asked, caught completely off guard as she hurriedly covered her protruding cleavage.

“I live here!” He scolded.

“We, uh” Spencer began to stutter as he stood up from the sofa. “We were just-”

“You were just going home.” Jared said grabbing Spencer’s jacket from the floor and shoving it into his hands. “Bye!”

Spencer took his jacket, slipped his shoes on and was gone before Lexi even had time to fix her hair. As soon as the door shut behind the boy Lexi turned her attention to Jared.

“What the hell was that, Jared?!” She snapped with her arms in the air.

“I should be asking you that!”

“I was making out with my boyfriend!”

“Boyfriend?!” Jared scoffed. “Since when?!”

Lexi rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe he isn’t my boyfriend,” Her voice calmed. “but you still had no right to do what you just did!”

“Oh, I had every right to do that.” Jared pointed a finger.

“No, actually you didn’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Just because you’re Jay’s best friend does not mean you have a say in what I do.”

“I know I don’t. But I do know you. And I know you well enough that you are more than what you were doing. Besides, I’m pretty sure Jay wouldn’t like that fact that you were letting some little punk feel you up on the couch.” He walked past her. “Excuse you?!” She twisted her head back to him.

“Don’t even try and deny it. I saw where he was trying to put his hands.” Jared scolded.

“Trying, I wasn’t gonna let him.”

“So you’re a tease?”

“Screw you!” Lexi turned and stomped upstairs.

Jared winced when she slammed her bedroom door. He didn’t think she was a tease. He knew her better than that. He had gotten to know her quite well over the past seven months. Seven months. Wow, time flew by. Over those seven months, he and Lexi managed to build a really good friendship. She confided in Jared and he even opened up to her about some things. He was the one that gave her the advice to go for it with Spencer. Now he was giving her crap about it and he didn’t know why. He shut the cabinet door he was absentmindedly peering in with a little more force than needed and began up stairs. He was annoyed and agitated as he thought about Lexi on the couch with Spencer. They way he was on top of her, his hands sliding up her legs. Gripping at her full curved hips. That’s when it hit him. He was jealous.

that night, a knock on her bedroom door pulled Lexi from her journal. Jared pushed open the door and looked at her laying on her stomach, the journal he’d gotten her laid out in front of her.

“I see my present is being useful.” Jared said, leaning on her desk. “Using it to write about how much of a jerk I am?”

“What do you want, Jared?” She closed the journal and sat up

“To apologise. I shouldn't have called you a tease. I know you better than that and I'm sorry.” He looked ashamed, like a wounded pup.

“Why did you get all pissy about it?” She sat up in bed. “You could have been a whole lot nicer, you know.”

“I don’t know.” He lied. 

“Jared?” He lifted his eyes to her. “Does this have anything to do with what happened?” Lexi tried to keep eye contact but Jared wouldn’t hold it. “The night of my party when we-”

“No.” Jared spoke abruptly. “I just didn’t like seeing him have his hands all over you like that. I know how sixteen year old boys think. I used to be one.”

“Are you sure that’s all it is?”

“Yeah.” He lied again. “Just, I know you two kind of have a mostly physical thing going on and just sometimes- I don’t know.“ He pushed his hair back. “Ever since we’ve gotten closer, I just feel like I have to protect you.”

“You don’t. I’m a big girl.” She stood in front of Jared, arms crossed over her chest. “Don’t do that.” She pointed in his face. “Don’t do the puppy eyes. You know I can’t stay mad at you when you do the puppy eyes.” He pushed out his bottom lip in a pout and Lexi through her hands up. “Fine, I forgive you,” She said as Jared snaked her into his arms for a hug. “God, that’s not fair. You know the puppy eyes get me.” She backed up.

“My secret weapon.” He grinned up at her.

“You know I can’t take it when you’re mad at me.”

TAGS: @saxxxyjared @xostephanie

[spooky-raccoon]

Road Trip (Part 3)

Rufo the Clown x Female Reader

Part 3 to Road Trip

Tag List: @rottenhearts-and-sharpteeth @trig-loves-clowning-around

        The alarm on the nightstand sounded off and with a loud groan coming from him I heard him press the button to shut it off.  My eyes were slowly blinking open so I could adjust to the sunlight that had come in through the curtains.  With a grunt I sat up in bed and ran a hand through my disheveled bedhead. Rufo flopped back onto the bed with a huff.

         “Not a morning person I take it?”  I couldn’t help but chuckle as I listened to his morning protests of grunts and low groans as if he was asking for just a few more minutes.

        “Not a dang bit.  Never have been one.”  He yawned out and rolled over onto his side to face me.  “I’ll be up in a bit and we can hit the road again.  Grab some free breakfast on the way out.”

        “Take your time.  I’m going to fix myself, so I look like I didn’t just survive a tornado.”  I flung the blanket off me and got up from the bed, hearing Rufo chuckle under his breath.  

        It didn’t take too long for him to fall back asleep.  My eyes lingered on how he looked, the blanket just sitting at his waist.  The morning light hitting his skin only emphasized how his ab muscles looked.

        “Thought you said you were going to get ready.”  I heard him mumble then chuckle just ever so slightly and my face turned red in embarrassment.

         “Yeah, just, uh, waking up and stretching a bit.”  I quickly did an arm stretch as I turned on my heel to head to the bathroom to make myself look a little more presentable for the day. I leaned over the sink and splashed some water on my face.  “The hell (Y/N).  Get it together.  He’s a stranger.  Just a really attractive stranger.  That’s it.”

        I focused back on getting ready for the day.  Washed my face, brushed my hair and made it a little more manageable with my straightener that I was thankful I had packed away.  I didn’t even hear Rufo get up until his footsteps got closer to the bathroom.  He walked in, his wavy hair still looking perfect despite sleeping like a baby.  He leaned over the counter as I was brushing my teeth, looking over the slight bags under each of his eyes.  He reached into his own little bag that he had tossed on the counter the night before, pulling out a toothbrush and some toothpaste.  He was humming along to some sort of song as he brushed at his teeth. From how yesterday went it was nice to have a small peaceful moment.

         With Rufo working on brushing his teeth I got dressed for the day back at the beds.  Just a pair of jeans and a comfy t shirt.  Rufo came back out in a pair of slacks and a button up shirt which made me raise my brow.

         “Always dress so nice, Rufo?  Or got a hot date to get to tonight?”  I joked which cracked a smile on his tired face.

        “Just the way I like to dress doll.  Only wear jeans if I’m doing some dirty work.  At least anywhere I go I’m always fashionable.”  He laughed while pulling at the collar of his shirt to straighten it.

       “And here I am looking like a potato next to you.”  I chuckled as I sat myself down on the bed to get my socks and shoes on.  I could see a look of confusion on his face.

       “A potato?  What do you mean by that?”  He sat opposite of me so he too could get his socks and shoes on.

        “Meaning, I’m not really up to the same standard as you for attire and looks.  I’m just dressed plain and pretty bland.  Didn’t even put any makeup on so I’m not how I usually look.”  I shrugged, not giving it too much thought.

       “(Y/N), you look completely fine.  You don’t need any makeup.  Too much makeup and you look like a floozy.”  Rufo shook his head, a little bit of annoyance on his face which didn’t help the morning bags under his eyes.  “And you’re dressed for a vacation.  I’m dressed for a job waiting for me.  Don’t you worry your pretty little head about how you look.”  Rufo stood up and he towered over me as he took the small step to be right in front of me.  “I ain’t going to hear no more of you putting yourself down as long as I’m your passenger, am I?”

       “I, uh.”  I was baffled if I was going to completely honest.  An attractive stranger complimenting me and reassuring me was something I wasn’t used to.  It hadn’t happened before or I at least couldn’t remember the last time it happened.

       “Am I?”  Rufo raised a brow and suddenly he gripped my chin between some of his fingers and thumb. His hold was unexpected, and I fought the strange feeling that bubbled up inside me.

       “No, you won’t Rufo.  Promise.”  My back hurt from holding back the shiver and the annoyed look dropped from his face to be replaced by a wide smile.

       “That’s the spirit doll.  Now, let’s go get some breakfast.  I could use some coffee.”  Rufo went to collect his jacket and with the blush still on my face I got up to collect the rest of my things.

        “Yeah, coffee sounds good.”  Was all I could mutter as we wrapped up the room and left to go enjoy the free breakfast downstairs.

       The breakfast was quiet and when I caught glances at Rufo he had a hint of a smile on his face each time.  It was my turn to drive us a bit further, so I took the helm. I still let him choose the music as I focused on the unfamiliar roads as my phone guided me through them.  For a few hours’ things seemed to be going well until the same dinging of the low gas tank went off.  We pulled off to the gas station and Rufo went inside to go pay for the full tank I had put in along with some snacks.  Things had definitely calmed down from the day before and it was a relief.

       While Rufo was gone though there was a strange pull on me.  Like something was tugging on me to go into my purse to find that card.  So, I did.  I was humming to myself and not paying too much attention to the world around me as I looked the card over to see the number on it.  As soon as I took my phone out though Rufo had gotten out of the gas station with the small bag of drinks and assorted things to nibble on.

       “Aye doll!”  Rufo’s voice broke through the weird fog of my mind and I looked up to him, giving him a small wave.  Rufo came walking up and saw the card in my hand and his smile dropped.  “So, he gave you one of those damn things.”  He snatched the card from my hand and despite my surprise protest he ripped it to shreds and tossed the remains in the garbage can.  “Come on. We got some sights to see, don’t we?”

        I blinked a few times as my mind came back. Once my head registered what he said I couldn’t help but grin and nod.  We had planned to stop to see some of the hiking trails in a park I had mapped out.  The thought of the card lost from my mind.  

       “Then let’s get going.  Can’t waste this good day light.”  Rufo chuckled as if everything was fine and he got the door open for me so I could take over the driving.

        With both of us buckled up we took off, making idle chatter and listening to him tell stories about his travels and the sights he had seen.  He had been all over the country countless times that I was surprised he had missed so many things when I brought them up.  Just more things added to the list of things we could do on the way to where he needed to go.  As long as they fit into the schedule of course though he didn’t seem to be in too much of a rush.  No matter what he seemed rather relaxed, no care to be found.

        We pulled up to the national park and found a good parking spot so the car would be in shade most of the time while we were hiking.  Rufo carried the little pack that had our water and some snacks and soon we took one of the popular trails.  The day was beautiful and all around us nature was buzzing with life.  We didn’t do much talking as we went, just enjoying the sights and sounds that we came across.

       It took an hour or so, but we made it up to the top of the trail.  There was a smoothed-out rock that looked over the cliff side, so we decided to settle there for our little snack session.  I had my legs hanging off the edge as I looked out at the view.  It was truly beautiful, especially as the sun was starting to set off the side.  Rufo was seated beside me with his legs over the edge as well, munching on a granola bar and taking sips from his water.

      “Been to so many places yet things like this still take my breath away.”  Rufo said as he tucked away his trash back into the bag.  “It’s amazing all the things I haven’t seen yet.”

        “And life is so short to see them all.”  I sighed a little at the end and I took out my phone so I could take some pictures of the view ahead of us.  I had an idea and had the camera view flip around, so it was in selfie mode.  “Hey, Rufo.”

        “Yeah doll?”  Rufo looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.

        “Take a picture with me.”  I had the phone lifted up and my body tilted so the camera had both of us in view.  I chuckled when we both weren’t in frame all that well.  Even though he was hunched over a little bit.  “This is when I wish I was taller with some longer limbs.”

         “Here.”  Rufo chuckled as he took the phone, giving it a confused look when he examined the screen. “What button do I push on this thing to take a picture?”

         “Right here.”  I showed him where on the screen to tap and he nodded, leaning in close to my back which made my heart skip a few beats.  With his long arms he was able to get us both well enough.  He still couldn’t quite tell where to tap for taking a picture, but he managed to get a couple of us both smiling with the sky giving the perfect background.  “There ya go doll.”

         Once we finished our snacks we took back down the trail to get back to the car.  We didn’t pass by many people on the way but enough to put some paranoia back into Rufo it seemed.  His hand rested on my lower back as to make me hurry down the trail until we got back to the car.  With a bit of talking we agreed to stay in hotel again as long as he promised the next night would be in a park.  I let him drive and we went off to find some place to eat and rest for the night.  

         During the drive to find a place to stay Rufo asked things about me, asking what I did, what I wanted to do.  Hopes and dreams and the like.  I couldn’t help but to admit I really didn’t have many, if any at all.  I only talked fondly about my desire to travel the country in a little supped up van but that was it..  I went on about how I just worked at my desk job day in and day out with no excitement to make life more than mundane.

       “Wasting away behind a desk?  Doesn’t sound like much of a life.”  Rufo scoffed as he shook his head.

        “It’s not really.  Just work, work, and more work.  Once in a while I read, or I’ll try to do something that isn’t just errands. Never been on a vacation until now.” I sighed as I looked over to him, the tiredness in my eyes getting more prominent.

        “And here I am, taking it over with you getting me to where I need to be.”  There was a bit of a guilty look on his face and I playfully tapped him on the arm in a mocking hit.

         “Oh, don’t start that Rufo.  I’m glad you asked me.  Sure, it’s nice to do things alone but some things are better experienced with someone by your side and share memories.  Right now, you’re that person I get to share with.  Even if it’s just for a short time.  I’ll probably never see you again after everything so that just makes it all the more special.”  I insisted with a shake of my head.  “I want you to stick around as long as you can.”

        Rufo was quiet for a moment.  Once in a while his brow would furrow and there was a slight twitch at the corner of his lip.  After a little bit he looked over at me as he spoke to me.

        “Thank you, (Y/N).  Means a lot.”  The corner of his lips now turned up into a soft smile as he went back to paying attention to the road.  

         With that I got back to keeping an eye out for a hotel.  There was an odd stillness in the air from our little exchange and I could see a thoughtful look on Rufo’s face.  After a little bit he put in a Frank Sinatra CD and we got lost in the moment to the music, singing along and enjoying the company.

[dira333]

Agent P.

cleaning out my drafts - might make more of it -

“Agent P.”

Natasha stops to listen, her eyes set on the reflective surface of the coffee pot.

Agent P doesn’t look happy about being called out like that. Or is it their brother? They both look like clones. Attractive, but in a way that had given way to the guessing game of “He or she?” until Fury stepped in to remind them that it was the year of 2018.

Natasha sees Hanson step forward, that sly smirk everyone hated plastered on his face. 

“Oh, man, sorry, I thought you were your sister,” he says, clapping the other on the shoulder, “must be the way you look.”

Hanson opens his mouth, but Agent P is faster. 

“Oh no, save your breath, Agent Hanson, you will need it later if you try to outsmart my sister. Or was it my brother? We will never know.” 

He leaves with a wave of his hand and Natasha looks after him just like Hanson does, but in her eyes is a mix of amusement and admiration. 

-

Clint glares at the empty cup in his hand as he lifts it up yet again, trying to get one more drop of coffee out of it. Why is there no coffee size available that actually matches his level of exhausted? He sticks his tongue out, only to hear someone snicker. He lowers the cup only to register that the elevator doors have opened up to a group of twelve newbies and their guide.

“Another group?” Clint grumbles and steps inside, pushing a girl aside that looks way to eager for her first day. He would bet his next coffee that she’s going to end in the Analysis department. Or dead. 

“Like every year,” the guide grumbles, not even trying to hide their disgust at the job they’ve gotten. Clint can’t argue with that. Everyone hates having to show the newbies around. Everyone but Carly with an “y”. Clint shudders at the thought of her and nods in understanding, glaring at the newbie that is staring holes into him.

“Important lesson,” the guide says and slaps one of the boys across the back of his head, “Never underestimate anyone. Especially not in this building. The more they look like you could take them down in a heartbeat, the more dangerous they are.”

The slapped buy snorts. “Yeah, like the homeless guy sharing our elevator could do more harm than killing me with his smell.”

Clint needs a moment to realize that the insult is directed at him. Not just because he hasn’t had enough coffee yet, but more so because the guy next to him smells like he has bathed in the worst smelling After Shave he could find on short notice. It doesn’t matter, because his fellow agent has his back. It’s a swift motion, quick enough to be unseen, and the boy with the big mouth is pressed against the wall of the elevator.

“This is your last chance,” the guide says, voice calm, “You can apologize and hope that Agent Barton won’t use you for target practice or you can leave immediately and give way for the next newbie on the waiting list. We could use another Agent 13 instead of your sorry ass.”

Clint watches, not even trying to hide his amusement, as the boy apologizes and turns away afterwards, his shoulders pulled up with shame. As bad as the newbies are, it’s always fun to teach them a lesson.

“You’ve got ten minutes to grab what you need and take a potty break,” the guide announces after the otherwise deathly quiet elevator ride ends, “You either make it or you go home.”

The twelve storm away as if they’re kindergartners not newbie agents that have gone through at least three years at the academy.

“Thanks,” Clint mumbles as he gets out of the elevator as well. He will have to wait ten minutes, but the coffee bar on level fifteen beats the coffee shop next to his apartment like the agent just beat up the newbie. 

“Anytime. I hate the newbies.”

“Who doesn’t?” He asks and answers his one question so that they both say the cursed name at exactly the same time. “Carly.”

They look at each other, smile and shrug and turn around again.

Clint thinks he should say something, but he is bad at small talk even when he’s awake and he’s at least a coffee pot away from being called awake. 

And with every second that passes it feels weirder to restart their conversation. Being quiet together isn’t that bad, Clint decides as the ten minutes draw to an end, he does that with Natasha all the time.

But he does make a point of waving exaggeratedly as the group leaves, turning with a smile to the peaceful quiet of the now empty coffee bar.

It takes him two cups of coffee and a rather bland leftover muffin to remember that he has no memory of the guide’s name. He only has a vague feeling of knowing them from somewhere. 

-

“Quick, I only have ten minutes,” you say as you storm into your brothers office, “kill me or help me calm down, whatever is easier.”

“I have seen you try Yoga, I think I’ll pick killing you.”

“Har har har,” you mock him back and drop into the seat across his desk, “The newbies are here.”

“I’ve noticed. Apparently it makes Hanson antsy that you get to show them around.”

“What does not make Hanson antsy?” You ask back and prop your feet on his desk only to pull them back and lean forward to look at his face.

“What happened?”

“Hanson was annoying.” Your brother argues and swats your hand away as you try and steal a cookie from the plate on his desk.

“That’s nothing new. Now spill.”

He sighs. “I asked Chloe on a date.”

“Chloe?” You pretend to barf and your brother glares at you. He’s not being completely serious, because he looks just like you and a face like that can glare better if necessary.

“She wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re comparing her to Sue and noone is as bad as Sue.”

He sighs. “Yeah. I will never look at colored lipbalm the same way again.”

It’s your turn to glare now. “You’re trying to switch topics. What happened to Clare?”

“Chloe,” he corrects you and you raise an eyebrow, conveying an emotion without saying a word.

“No second date for me,” he puts on a cheerful tone but you’re not fooled by that.

“It’s the curse,” you play along anyone, “No second date for you, no second date for me.”

“Oh,” your brother reaches out and slaps your arm, “Thanks for reminding me. This is your thirteenth month without a date. Now it’s a slap every week.”

“That was a stupid pact,” you grumble and sit up straight as you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. As you pull it out, you groan.

“Dang it, I need to get back. See you in the evening.”

“Get a date,” he calls after you and you flip him off.

-

Natasha has just started down the stairs when she hears to unmistakable sound of a lovesick girl. She’s about to turn around when she hears the name.

“What do you think is the best weapon, Agent P?” 

She smiles and leans forward, looking down towards the group that is moving up. She can see Agent P, brows furrowed. 

“Anything is a good weapon if you know how to handle it.”

Natasha’s smirk shrinks. This answer isn’t bad, but not the same level of deadpan humor she has heard in the morning. And was that innuendo really necessary?

One of the boys snickers. Agent P slaps the back of his hand with a well trained movement.

Natasha’s smirk is now borderline mischievous. Of course. Violence, short temper and answers that sound a tad bit more ambiguous than they were meant to be.

It’s the female part of the famous twin-set, the one Natasha has only had the chance to spar with once, sadly.

“But which one is your favorite?” The lovesick girl is relentless. Agent P looks like she might slap her as well as Natasha moves around the corner.

“Yes, which one is your favorite? Don’t we all want to know, Jada? It’s Jada, right?”

“Just J,” Agent P answers, pressing her answer through her teeth, “But thanks for interrupting.”

Natasha smiles sweetly and takes in the scene. Twelve newbies stare at their guide as if they haven’t seen them before. And more than one of them looks like they want to ask the dangerous question.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking,” Natasha addresses them, swaying her hips as she moves closer. She puts her arm around Agent P’s shoulders and hugs her close, “Is she a woman? A Man? Now you’re all here because you want to be part of the new Shield. If you want to make it, you need to realize that the answer to your question doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you what matters. It matters that we know Agent P only by the first later of their name, because they are so deeply involved in the matters of shield that their name is no one’s business. It matters that they have a short temper and that you should know that as well as the rumours going around about that one time when they broke into a high security facility with only a pair of nail clippers and a toothbrush.”

“It was dental floss,” Agent P corrects her and Nat’s smile grows even bigger.

“If you have a crush on someone, think again, because that crush could be your downfall.” The girl that had been mooning over Agent P blushes scarlet red and Natasha smiles sweetly. “And if you look at the hips of a woman you should know that her hands could already be around your neck, killing you while you’re distracted.”

The boys swallow hard at her words.

“Thank you for that lesson,” Agent P grumbles, “Do you want to take over the tour?”

“Oh, no, you’re doing great.”

She moves forward, acting like she’s kissing their cheek but whispers in her ear instead. “Give ‘em hell.”

When she leaves the group behind, she can hear Agent P’s voice. Loud, clear and slightly amused. 

“So you should all know about the last time we got an Agent Number thirteen, because if you ever get to meet her, you should know to be afraid…”

Oh yes, the rumours will live forever.

-

[clumsydarknut]

Scripted Wishes

Chapter 2: New Friends

Beginning | Previous | Next | Most Recent

Lucy awoke with a start. Her phone was buzzing violently on her bedside table. Groggily she picked it up and read the lovely “Wake up now if you wanna be cute” note she had attached to her repeating alarm. She felt terrible, stomach aching slightly. Maybe she should hit snooze.

But if this alarm was going off, it meant there was school. And her note was right – if she wanted to pick a super cute outfit, she needed to get up now. Gritting her teeth, she slid her finger across the screen to end the buzzing and threw herself upright before she could fall asleep again. The sudden movement sent a jolt of pain through her head. Lovely. A headache too. But it’s only the second day of school – I can’t miss already!

With that, she switched on her lamp. The light stung her eyes. Why did she feel so awful? She looked blankly around the room, trying to remember what happened the night before. The party. Bora. Natsu too, I think. Why was he there again? Bits and pieces floated through her mind, but it was jumbled and fleeting.

She glanced at the clock on her night stand to check the time. It was only 7:00, so still an hour before school. Maybe she should just sleep some more and give up on the outfit. Getting to pick her clothes was cool, but so was sleep. She yawned and started to lay back down when she saw the unfamiliar folded piece of notebook paper next to her clock.

Taking it and pushing herself up again, she unfolded it.

Lucy,

The doctor told me you might not remember what happened, so I figured I should leave a note just in case.

Bora invited you to his party and you decided to go. After cross country I heard some girls talking about it saying some Salamander guy was hosting, so I knew something was up and rushed over. When I got there a bunch of the girls were drugged up and stuff so I called the cops. I got you out and took you to one of them walk-in clinics. They said Bora probs used roofies, but in a pretty low dose. Said you should be fine by morning, so I took you back to your apartment. I, uh… couldn’t find the key in your bag, so I had to break in through your window… sorry about that. If your landlady is mad I’ll pay for it.

Anyway, hope you’re okay. Doc said you’d be fine to take some ibuprofen if you need it. See you around.

Natsu 

The jumbled pieces started falling into place. The party, Bora pushing her onto the bed, Natsu nailing him in the face… wait, had his fist been on fire? Couldn’t have been, she thought. Must be the drugs.

Lucy gave a start. Fury started to build up in her. That dirty little…! He spiked my drink! What the hell?!

She leapt off the bed, ignoring the pangs in her forehead. That shallow, evil smooth-talker spiked my drink! After such a great first day of school! AND while I was wearing my favorite dress! She stomped into her bathroom and began furiously running a brush through her hair. Member of the drama club, my foot! She practically threw her brush back onto the counter, pulled out a toothbrush, loaded toothpaste onto it and jammed it into her mouth.

“Just wait, Bora!” she snarled through the foamy paste, “I’m going to look so hot today those fangirls of yours might just turn lesbian!”

---

Natsu lounged on the front steps of the school, eyes glued to his phone. Flamewater Circus had just posted a new behind-the-scenes video and it was loaded with good tricks. As fascinating as it was, however, it wasn’t enough to hold his attention when the commotion started down by the sidewalk.

He paused the video and slipped his phone back into his pocket, glancing up to see what the gasps were about. His jaw dropped as the ripple in the crowd broke to reveal Lucy, sauntering up the walk to the school, a sway in her hips and confidence in her stride.

Lucy wore jet-black, skin-tight jeans cuffed just above her tall, beachy wedge heels, a matching, sandy belt clasped at her waist by a large bronze buckle. A tight, white tank, while covering all over her cleavage, hugged every curve in her body and left a slight gap of skin between the hem and her waistband. Over it she wore a light denim-patterned button-up, sleeves folded back perfectly to elbow length. It hung open, swishing against her sides as she strolled toward the door. Rather than a backpack she sported a silver messenger bag, matching her numerous silver bracelets and the long necklace dangling around her neck. Her hair was curled just slightly, hanging free under a floppy black hat. Her dark lipstick contrasted starkly with her pale skin and light hair, making her lips look poofy and plump. Her eyes seemed much more clear, sharp, and bold than they were when Natsu had met her, and he couldn’t place why. All in all, it was clear Lucy meant to make a statement, and Natsu thought she was doing a good job of it.

“Yo, Natsu!”

He tore his gaze away from Lucy to find his dark-haired friend, Gray, making his way across the pavement.

“Oi, snow fairy!” he called, smirking, “What took you so long? Get held up by the Rat King?”

Gray rolled his eyes. “I should be the one asking you, flame face. Class starts in three minutes. How long have you been sitting there ogling at that chick?”

Natsu brushed him off, getting to his feet. “I met her yesterday. Just surprised to see her, considering what went down last night.”

Gray raised an eyebrow.

“No, not like that!” Natsu groaned. “Jeez, man, get your brain out of the gutter. I pulled her out of that party that got crashed by the cops.”

“Whoa, wait, what?” Gray took a turn ogling as Lucy disappeared through the front door. “That happened last night? And she’s at school today?”

“Now you see why I was staring.”

Gray shook his head slightly, running his fingers through his spikey hair before starting for the door. “ Jaa, iku yo. [1] ”

“Oi, nihongo de hanasanaide. Wakari nikui yo.”[2] Natsu replied, hauling his bag over his shoulder.

“Me? Hard to understand?” Gray scoffed, “You should hear your accent.”

“ Nihonjin janai yo! Ore no sei janai! [3] ” Natsu growled back.

Gray tossed a glance over his shoulder and kept walking, tiredly calling back, “You’re the one who keeps using it, not me. I’m speaking English, pyro.”

Natsu grit his teeth and took off running after Gray, shouting, “Yeah and you sound stupid doing it, frost face!”

“At least I sound decent in one of my languages where you sound like an idiot no matter what language you pick!”

“Ice princess!”

“Ash brain!”

---

Lucy strolled confidently into her first class, forcing the rage she felt to stay far away from her face. Letting her annoyance show would completely undermine the bold, daring, sexy appearance she was going for. Although, if she saw Bora today, there would be no holding back the daggers that would surely shoot from her glare.

“Professor Buchanan?” she asked, approaching the blocky man.

“Ah, what can I do for you today?” he replied, smiling.

The smile softened her fury just a touch, and she smiled back. “My name’s Lucy. I was told to remind you about my, ah, situation, before you take roll.” Professor Buchanan stared for a moment before realization bloomed on his angular face.

“Ah, yes, Lucy. Melina told me of your request.” He smiled even brighter. “I’ll be sure to remember. Thank you for the reminder.”

She smiled sweetly and took a seat. Soon the rest of the class had trickled in, and Professor Buchanan stood up from his desk.

“Welcome to the first real day of school!” he announced. Several of the class members chuckled. “Since you all got to meet me yesterday, and because I think friendship is more important than math, today I’d like to do some get-to-know-you activities.”

Lucy perked up, but a majority of the class groaned.

“Now, now,” he continued, “I know most of you have already done more of these than you would prefer and will probably do more, so let me make this simple. When I call your name off the roll, stand up and tell us a bit about yourself. Then, when I’ve finished the roll, the rest of class is yours to mingle and chat as much as you’d like.”

The room was filled with shocked grins, and multiple pairs of people locked eyes gleefully.

“Let’s get started, then,” he said, picking up a clipboard, “Auriel, Loke.”

The boy directly to Lucy’s left stood up. He had thick brownish-orange hair that, while not gelled, jutted out in a variety of windswept spikes. He wore an olive-green jacket over an orange t-shirt that dipped low enough to reveal his collarbone – which Lucy couldn’t help but note was an attractive look. He had his hands nonchalantly wedged in the front pockets of his black cargo pants, head tilted to the side. His sharp, hazel eyes were veiled by azure-tinted glasses, and his smirk perfectly accentuated his delicate but defined facial features. Lucy let out a small sigh as he tossed his hair to the side, revealing three small studs along his ear and an oh-so-sharp jawline.

Snap out of it, Lucy! she thought, shaking her head. Yes, he’s attractive, and eye candy is okay sometimes, but what did we learn last night?

“I’m Loke Auriel,” the boy said, voice silky smooth. “I’m a junior, though I’m sure all of you knew that considering this class is for juniors only.” Several girls giggled, and he smiled suavely.

“I like poetry, both the reading and the writing of it,” he continued, “and I am hoping for the part of either Lysander or Demetrius in Magnolia’s fall production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream . I’m a member of the Fairy Tail Theatre Company and when I’m not on stage, I’m in the sound booth running the lights. Beyond theatrical pursuits, I play guitar and like to write my own songs. My favorite color is green and my ideal date-“ a few of the girls gasped, “-is a night stargazing in the forest, where the light pollution is low and the best way to keep warm is curling up under a blanket.”

More giggles and coos as Loke took his seat. Lucy rolled her eyes. This must have been the guy Natsu was looking for when he ran into Bora yesterday. No wonder he confused the two – this guy is an even bigger flirt.

“Nice to meet you, Loke,” Professor Buchanan said with a smile. Loke winked and several girls gasped in delight. “Let’s see… Bradford, Justina.”

The professor worked his way down the list, though so far only Loke had really caught Lucy’s attention. That was largely a result of the bubbling fury towards Bora and similar insincere playboys that burned through most of her consciousness. Oh yeah, he’s just like Bora. He’s not even trying to pretend to be deep.

“Ah, Lucy,” the professor called, interrupting her thought. She stood up and awkwardly faced the majority of the class.

“Hi, I’m Lucy, and I’m brand new to this school,” she began confidently. “I really like acting and I actually came here for the theatre program, but I haven’t tried out yet. I also really like writing. Math isn’t my strong suit.” She shrugged sheepishly at Professor Buchanan, who looked mildly amused. “I’m actually working on a novel, but it’s nowhere near being ready for anyone to read yet. Um, what else… oh, my favorite color is pink, I’m really into astronomy – the real thing, not that horoscope junk – and I’m learning Japanese.”

A couple students let out amazed sounds and she heard a few whispers about astronomy. Professor Buchanan simply smiled and thanked her for the introduction. She sighed in relief as she sat down, glad he had remembered to omit her last name.

“Astronomy, huh?”

She turned to find Loke leaning over his desk toward her, the handsome dial on his smile turned all the way up. She pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s rare to find a beautiful woman like yourself with such intellectual tastes,” he hummed, careful not to catch the teacher’s attention, “I’m a bit of an astronomer myself.”

“Yeah?” Lucy said doubtfully, “Is that why your ‘ideal date’ is stargazing?”

He chuckled. “Partially. But I can imagine it would be much more fun with a girl who already knows the stars.”

Rolling her eyes, she replied, “I have no doubt that I know them better than a player like yourself.”

“Aw, don’t be like that. Maybe this weekend we could go out and see if-“

He cut off abruptly, looking up at her with shock plastered to his face.

“What?” she scoffed.

He gulped. “Y-you’re not from K-Konzern Acad-d-demy are you?”

Her annoyance shifted somewhat to confusion. “Yeah, so what?”

He blanched, turning away quickly and pushing his glasses up on his nose. “N-nothing, I just- forget I said anything.”

Her annoyance turned to concern as she watched him fidget in his seat through the rest of the introductions. Maybe I shouldn’t go broadcasting that I transferred from Konzern? Natsu didn’t seem to care, though. Is it just this guy?

When the introductions were finished and free time started, Loke gathered up his things and shuffled to the other side of the classroom, averting his gaze. Lucy felt a twinge of hurt, but that too melted into worry when she noticed his hands shaking.

Guess there’s some history…?

Her thoughts were interrupted by some of her classmates wanting to chat. She spent the rest of the class talking with new acquaintances. When the bell rang, Loke had bolted out the door before she had even begun to stand up. She shook her head and gathered her things.

Luckily, today she remembered how to get to her Japanese class and made it there with a minute or two to spare. She spotted Natsu towards the back of the room, but she took the opportunity to approach the teacher instead.

“Porlyusica-sensei?”

The slender, pink-haired woman whipped around, mildly annoyed. “ Hai, douzo. [4] ”

“I was told to remind you of my special circumstances,” Lucy hesitated, “before you take roll.”

“Mmm… Dare desu ka? [5] ” Porlyusica inquired.

“Oh! Sumimasen! Watashi wa Lucy desu. [6] ” She kept forgetting people didn’t automatically know her here. It was a surprising challenge that came with growing up an aristocrat.

Porlyusica looked at her a minute longer before a flicker of realization sparked in her eyes. “Ah, Lucy-san. Oboeteimasu. [7] It’s rather untraditional to call a student by their first name only in Japan, but I suppose this exception is warranted.” She gestured to the desks without another word. Lucy gave a quick thank you and sat down next to Natsu.

He didn’t seem to notice her arrival as he was glaring across the room. It looked like he was determined to bore a hole right through the skull of a dark-haired, somewhat lanky boy who was glaring back just as intensely. The boy wore a faded navy blue short-sleeved button-up that hung open over a black undershirt and black jeans. Around his neck was a heavy chain bearing a small silver sword. This boy, too, had a defined jaw and attractive facial features. Is every guy at Magnolia smoking hot?

Tired of the staring contest, she flicked Natsu on the shoulder.

“Gah, hey!” he shouted. He turned, annoyed before seeing it was her. “Oh, hey Lucy! How are you feeling?”

She smiled. “I feel pretty good, actually. Thanks for pulling me out of there.”

“Nah, no problem,” he grinned, leaning back in his chair, “Better not talk now, though. Sensei is really picky about people talking during class.”

Lucy nodded, noting the bell had just rung. Right on cue, Porlyusica-sensei was up in front beginning her lecture.

“ Minna-san, youkoso!” she began, “ Daiichi, roll wo shimasu. ‘Hai’ to hanashite kudasai. [8] ”

Lucy stretched in her chair as Porlyusica-sensei began. The class was fairly small – maybe twenty people.

“Agria-san!”

“Hai!”

“Blendy-san!”

“Hai!”

“Cheney-san!”

No response to that one. Sensei marked it down on her clipboard.

“Connell-san!”

“Hai!”

“Darrow-san!”

“Hai!”

“Dragneel-san!”

“Hai!” Lucy turned in shock. That had been Natsu.

“Your name is Natsu Dragneel? ” she whispered.

“That it is,” he grinned smugly, “Dragneel as in Dragon, yes.”

Porlyusica-sensei paid them no mind. “Eucliffe-san!”

“Hai!”

“Hea- Lucy-san!”

“Hai!” Lucy squeaked. That had been close.

“Wait, is Lucy your last name?” Natsu whispered, confused. Lucy facepalmed and peeked at him through her fingers, eyebrow raised.

“Jeez, just asking a question,” he breathed.

“Justine-san!”

“Hai!”

“Lates-san!”

“Hai!”

“Law-san!” Another no-show.

“McGarden-san!”

“Hai!”

“Mulan-san!”

“Hai!”

“Sarasuke-san! Eh? Chotto… Sarasuke-san, doushite koko ni irundesu ka? [9] ”

The presumed Sarusuke-san glumly dropped his head to his desk and replied, “I failed the final again so I can’t take third year.”

Porlyusica-sensei marked him present with a tsk-tsk. “Tearm-san!”

“Hai!”

“Vanderwood-san!”

“Hai!”

That finished the roll, and she continued, “Now, I will introduce this semester’s tutors. Please be nice to them – they are here to help you practice. Fullbuster-san, douzo. [10] ”

To Lucy’s surprise, the dark-haired boy Natsu had been stabbing with his glare stepped to the front of the class.

“ Hajimemashite. Ore wa Gray Fullbuster desu. [11] ” Lucy was thoroughly shocked at the smoothness of his voice and the ease with which he spoke. He seemed to carry no accent at all.

In Japanese, he continued, “I was born in Fiore, but I grew up in Yokohama, Japan. Japanese is my native language, but I speak English too.” He switched to English, smiling and shooting a smug look at Natsu. “I moved here in seventh grade and have been a tutor since freshman year. I like hockey and carpentry, and I’m a part of the drama club. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.[12]”

Lucy was still surprised, forgetting to utter the traditional response with the rest of the class. So he’s from Japan. I wouldn’t have guessed.

Gray bowed and took his seat. Natsu glowered at him, crossing his arms.

Porlyusica chimed in, “ Lockser-san, douzo. ”

From the desk in the front corner rose a curvy, almond-eyed girl dressed head to toe in various shades of blue. Lucy couldn’t help but wonder if the girl was hot in this weather, as some of her layers looked like fur. Her hair was thick and wavy, and the deep blue color added to the waterfall effect over her slim shoulders. As she turned nervously to face the class, Lucy saw a large yellow butterfly clip pinned to her dark Russian-styled hat.

“ Ano… ” she mumbled, looking down, “ Hajimemashite. Juvia Lockser desu. Shusshin wa Kyoto desu. [13] ” She fiddled with her fingers before continuing in strained English. “Juvia doesn’t speak English very well. Demo, Juvia wa gambarimasu! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu! [14] ”

Juvia scurried to her seat as the class repeated yoroshiku onegaishimasu . Lucy couldn’t help but smile at the girl. She had probably just moved to Fiore and likely didn’t have many friends yet. Birds of a feather…

The rest of the class was spent reviewing some basic vocabulary and grammar, most of which Lucy had no trouble with. She was glad to know that the Japanese classes here moved at about the same pace the ones at Konzern had. She was amused to find, however, that Natsu had a terrible time speaking in polite form and nearly always got his conjugations wrong.

“I don’t get why I have to know two different forms,” he grumbled. “If you’re a person, I’m going to talk to you like a person. Why does it matter if I use plain form all the time?”

“Because,” Gray growled, “sometimes even numbskulls like you need to make a good impression. You’ll piss off Porlyusica-sensei if you go acting all familiar around her.”

“She’s never cared before!”

“She has you’re just socially incompetent!”

“Frost face!”

“Ass flame!”

Lucy’s next class came much too soon for her liking. Despite Natsu and Gray’s incessant bickering, Japanese had been lots of fun. Plus, she had really wanted to talk to Natsu about the night before. She couldn’t believe a near-total stranger had suddenly come to her rescue. She had no idea what she wanted to say, but she wanted to say something more than “Oh thanks for that.”

Luckily, though, her history class was good fun too.

She had finished reminding Mr. Neville of her particular circumstances and plopped down in a seat near the windows when she felt a light tap on her shoulder.

“ Ano… Lucy-san desu ka? [15] ”

It was a small, vaguely familiar girl with ruffled blue hair tucked behind an orangey-yellow headband sporting a hibiscus-patterned creamsicle-colored sundress. Judging by the Japanese inquiry, Lucy guessed she was probably in her last class.

“ Hai, sou desu. O-namae wa…? [16] ”

The girl smiled and swapped back to English. “I’m Levy, Levy McGarden. I saw you in Japanese a few seats behind me. It’s nice to meet you!”

“It’s nice to meet you too!” Lucy returned the smile. Alright, finally making friends with some women. I swear there are way too many guys at this school.

“So… you’re a writer?” she asked.

Lucy looked at her quizzically and Levy pointed to her notebook. Lucy blushed as she realized it said “Drabbles and Drafts” in pink calligraphy on the front.

“Oh, yeah, um, a bit,” she replied sheepishly.

“Me too,” she giggled. “Well, sort of. I try, but I feel like I’m better at the reading than the writing.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re better than you think,” Lucy offered.

Levy blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of her head. “M-maybe you could proofread one of my shorts?”

Lucy blinked, a smile spreading across her face. She could definitely get along with this girl. She nodded enthusiastically, and Levy squealed in delight.

Just then, Mr. Neville started his lecture and their conversation was cut short. As the lecture went on, Lucy felt a paper slide up next to her arm from behind. It was a note card that had a number scrawled on it with “tomodachi ni narou![17]” penciled in cute hiragana underneath. She couldn’t help but smile over her shoulder at Levy and nod enthusiastically. Hiding her phone beneath her desk she punched in the new number, added Levy’s name, and texted her a quick “yorokonde![18]”

There was a loud ding and Levy squeaked. Mr. Neville halted his lecture and gave her a hard look.

“S-sorry!” she stammered, pulling out her phone and frantically turning down the sound.

He sighed. “Just the first day and the plague is already among us…”

Lucy glanced apologetically at Levy’s tomato-red face. She waved her off, sinking into her seat.

Mr. Neville’s lecture was dull and unimportant. He was mostly talking about himself, turning what he claimed was going to be a short introduction into a rambling mess of actuallys and half-finished ideas. She decided to fill the time with texting her newfound friend – whose notification sound was now turned off. They exchanged sarcastic comments about the lecture and made terrible puns, giggling profusely behind their hands. Levy was witty and quick to the punch, typing out eloquent satires of the teacher’s lecture as if she’d been thinking about it for days.

“ Actually,” one text read, “it wasn’t until my great grandfather actually passed away that I actually became interested in history, actually . Actually it was then that I actually realized I don’t actually have any idea what the word actually actually means, which is actually sad because he was actually an author, actually , and I actually disappoint him actually every day with how little I actually know about actually speaking English, actually .”

Lucy almost cried as she replied, “ Actually, he’s not actually so bad, actually. He actually knows how to actually spell the word actually, actually. ” Levy choked on her laugh. Mr. Neville had just written “ Don’t forget tonight’s reading, actually” on the board.

“Class dismissed, actually,” he said as the bell rang. Levy and Lucy gathered up their things as they shook with giggles. Once outside the door, they burst out laughing.

“That was so fun!” Levy squealed.

“ Actually ,” Lucy giggled, “it was the most fun I’ve actually had all day.”

Levy laughed again, then lit up with a great idea. “Lucy, you should come sit with me and my friends at lunch!”

Lucy’s smile dropped a bit. “I was planning on sitting with Natsu…” she mumbled.

“Oh, perfect!” she chimed. Lucy blinked in surprise. “He sits at the same table! I didn’t know you guys knew each other.”

Lucy’s smile perked back up and she slyly replied, “ Actually, I just met him yesterday.”

Levy snickered at the joke, but inquired more seriously, “We’re not pulling you away from your other friends, are we?”

“Actually- whoops, I used it seriously this time – I just transferred to Magnolia this year.”

Levy gasped. “What? You’re new? I never would have guessed you fit in so perfectly already!”

Lucy laughed out loud at that. If this daring look she had pulled together today was “fitting in perfectly”, she knew now for sure that this was the right school.

They parted ways happily, promising more texts and exchanges of manuscripts. Levy was a breath of fresh air in a school seemingly filled to the brim with hyperactive, overly-attractive boys. That hyperactivity was particularly apparent in her next class. She discovered that not only did she have gym with Natsu, but also with Gray, and the more open atmosphere quickly transformed their insult duels into all out brawls. They weren’t the only idiots who ran amuck either. Another Asian-looking boy with white hair was intermittently sliding into the brawl to quickly trip Gray before scampering off, and two of the guys from her Japanese class were trying (and failing horribly) to land a hit on a particularly scary-looking metalhead. The most annoying was the beefy kid who punched at everything shouting “OTOKO DA![19]” at the top of his lungs. She had no idea what they were supposed to be doing, and it seemed Coach Coco didn’t either.

After class she left the locker room in a huff. Part of her admitted the chaos was somewhat amusing, but even with meeting Levy her fury at what Bora had done wasn’t far away. She hadn’t seen him at all today, and she hadn’t gotten to properly talk to Natsu, and she still had to get that signature from Director Dreyar. At least now it was lunch. Perhaps after she ate, she could track down Gray or maybe that Loke kid and have them take her to the right classroom.

---

Natsu sprinted out of the locker room, whacking Elfman on the back of the head and laughing as the burly teen shouted, “ Otoko janee yo! [20] ” after him. He shoved the doors open gleefully and grinned as he saw what he was looking for.

“Yo! Luce!” he called. She turned her head and what had been an irritated scowl melted into a pleasant smile. She gave a slight wave as he caught up with her and fell into stride.

“You’re gonna sit with me at lunch again today, right?” His blood was still pumping from the intense brawl he’d had with Gray and it made it very difficult to hide his enthusiasm. Then again, why should he hide it? Lucy was as badass as you could get, and he was ecstatic that he’d managed to befriend her before any of the other trashy cliques could hog her attention. She’d make an excellent sparring partner, or workout buddy, or sound booth assistant, or-

“That was the plan!” she chimed, cutting off his train of thought. “Levy sits at your table too, right?”

“Oh you met Levy?” he laughed, “Yeah she’s there too. Don’t plan on sitting next to her though – Jet and Droy always sit by her.”

“Well that’s too bad for them – I’m claiming newbie privileges. I’m going to sit right between you and Levy and they’ll just have to deal with it.”

Natsu gazed at her in awe and amusement as they made their way to the cafeteria. She noticed his look as they got into the lunch line.

“What?” she said, irritated.

Natsu shook his head. “You’re weird.”

Her mouth dropped open and she shoved his arm. “Am not!”

“Sure are!” he chuckled. “I mean most girls would stay home for a week after what went down last night, but here you are, at school, spunky and fiery and spewing all sorts of weird ideas.”

She shrugged, furrowing her brow. “Well how else was I supposed to get back at that jerk for spiking my drink? I had to come to school! I have to rub his nose in it!”

“Too bad he’s locked up at the police station,” Natsu grinned proudly.

“What?!” she shouted. The freshman in front of her gave a start.

“Jeez, Luce,” Natsu laughed, “Didn’t you read the note I left? I called the cops the second I got there. I’m flattered you think I could take down a whole house full of perverts, but that fake Salamander and his cronies aren’t coming back to school any time soon.”

Lucy got really quiet as she picked up her tray, and Natsu wondered if he said something wrong before he heard her small voice.

“Thank you, Natsu,” she said softly, “for getting me out of there.”

The gratitude her voice exuded wasn’t lost on him. The light smile, the glance at his eyes… how scared she had been, and how relieved she was now, came through clearly. A familiar feeling bubbled up in his chest – a sort of mix of protectiveness, chivalry, and care.

“You’re welcome, Luce,” he said back, offering a gentle smile. He hoped it communicated that he knew all she was trying to convey. Then he perked up and nudged her elbow with his own. “Besides, I couldn’t let some twisted sicko ruin the good name of Salamander!”

Lucy chuckled as she began picking fruit cups out of the bins that sat on the counter. He frowned as she took one of each.

“Whatcha doin?” he puzzled.

“Hm?”

He gestured to her tray. “There’s no way you can eat all of that.”

She tsked at him and gave him a sly smile, motioning to the lunch lady that she’d take the salad instead of the chicken fried steak. He returned a quizzical look, holding out his tray for a scoop of potatoes on top of his hunk of meat. When they’d gotten out of the line, she spoke.

“Natsu, you know you shouldn’t talk about the cafeteria black market in front of the lunch ladies!”

His confusion slowly turned into a grin as she giggled profusely.

“You mean…?”

“Just show me where you sit, dummy,” she jested. He quickly obliged, leading her across the room to a table near the exterior doors. This girl is awesome!

“Lu-chan!” Levy waved at them, quickly shoving Jet out of his seat with a thud.

“Hey!” he whined. Droy sniggered from his seat on the other side of Levy. Natsu helped Jet get up off the floor, giving him a smug grin.

“I told you before you sat down that I was saving this seat!” she said, exasperated. “Now she’s here, so shoo!”

Jet mumbled, walking around to sit across from Levy as Lucy took the seat. Natsu plopped down next to her, clattering his tray on the tabletop.

Lucy looked around the table at all the empty chairs. “Is it just you four usually?”

“Oh, no,” Levy giggled, “We’re just the first ones here today. There’s a bunch more of us.”

“OI! ASH-FOR-BRAINS!”

There he is. Lucy jumped at the exclamation, making Natsu snicker internally. On the outside, however, he put on his best look of apathy and slung his gaze over his shoulder.

“What, snow queen? I already built a snowman with you today.”

Gray slammed his lunch onto the table and dropped into his seat before smacking Natsu on the back of the head. “We’ve already had two classes with this gal and you still haven’t introduced us!”

“Aww why do I have to introduce you?” Natsu whined, smirking, “You can speak English, can’t you?”

Lucy giggled and reached a hand behind him towards Gray. “I’m Lucy. Yoroshiku ne. [21] ”

Gray took her hand and shook. “Nice to meet you, too.” He shot a self-satisfied look at Natsu, who rolled his eyes. Oh look, the snowflake can speak!

Jet perked up at the introduction, pushing up the sleeve of his purple button-up as he leaned across the table. “Lucy-san, na? You’re in Japanese with us, right?” He also stuck out a hand. “Jet Sarasuke.”

“And I’m Droy Darrow!” Droy chimed in from behind Levy, accidentally spilling gravy on his mustard-yellow T-shirt. Natsu sniggered as he tried to scoop up the smear with his free hand, rubbing the creamy sauce deeper into the fabric.

“You should be more careful, Droy. Spilling like that makes us look sloppy.” A scarlet-haired senior wearing a silver blouse took the seat across from Natsu. “Erza, Erza Scarlet. Douzo yoroshiku. [22] ”

“Er-za?” Lucy said tentatively, checking that she said it right.

“ Ehr-za ,” Erza replied. “Like the first part of ‘error’.” She’s an error, Natsu thought. Erza glanced at him suddenly, and chills pricked down his spine. “It’s okay, even Jellal got it wrong.”

“Who is this Jellal you speak of?” a blue-haired boy bearing an intricate scarlet tattoo over his right eye said, taking a seat next to Erza. Ah, the man himself.

“ You , ya prick.” A wavy-haired brunette took the seat across from Droy. She took a swig of an energy drink and slapped it on the table before looking to Lucy. “Cana Alberona. You’re Lucy? Nice boobs.”

Natsu laughed out loud as Lucy’s face turned a shade to rival his hair.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jellal cut in indignantly, “I am the sage Mystogan.” Lucy looked thoroughly confused when a white-haired beauty took the seat next to him. Natsu grinned widely as the voluptuous senior joined the table.

“Don’t mind Jellal, sweetie,” she said, smiling brightly at Lucy, “I’m Mirajane, and this goofball is a method actor.”

“A what?”

“A method actor,” Levy piped up, “They’re actors who completely embrace their roles so they can give a top-notch performance.”

“And Jellal’s the best,” Erza stated, a smile twitching at her lips. Jellal gave her a glare. “Mystogan! I meant Mystogan.”

“Yeah he is,” a gruff voice said, “ Totemo otoko da! [23] ”

Natsu looked over his shoulder to see the burly white-haired boy approaching the table, followed by dark-haired poncho-clad Alzack. Elfman took a seat next to Gray and Alzack plopped down next to Droy. Lucy smiled up at Elfman and introduced herself, him returning her handshake with a crushing grip. Alzack was too distracted by the approaching green-haired cowgirl to notice Lucy’s extended hand.

“Oooh AlBisssss I ship it!” Mirajane squealed. Natsu rolled his eyes and Lucy retracted her hand with a smirk.

Bisca blushed as she slid in next to Alzack. Lucy, satisfied with their introductions, began to move food from her tray to Natsu’s.

“Awww yus!” Natsu shouted, ruffling her hat. “Thanks Luce!”

“Oi oi what the heck?” Gray demanded. “Don’t give that fiery mouth breather extra, he’ll just ruin it with that damned tabasco!”

“Not like there’s much to be ruined…” Cana scoffed, picking at the pasta in her lunch box. “Wouldn’t eat that if they paid me.”

Natsu ignored the commentary and proceeded to whip a bottle of tabasco out of the pocket of his hoodie and slather it on his chicken fried steak. He never left home without the stuff. He’d have preferred to carry ghost peppers with him, of course, but they weren’t nearly as practical as a bottle of ready-made pour-it-out-on-anything tabasco. Gray moaned and pinched his nose shut.

“Wow, Natsu,” Lucy commented, “I didn’t take you for the spicy type.”

Several people at the table snickered, including himself. Lucy didn’t seem to notice.

“Eh? Matte… [24] ” Natsu mumbled, mouth full of his favorite spicy goodness, “ Loke wa doko? [25] ” He twisted around, searching the room. He spotted his ginger friend just leaving the line and waved to him enthusiastically. Loke started to wave but dropped his hand and his smile suddenly. Huh? Natsu watched in confusion as Loke made his way around the table, heading for the seat across from Bisca. Two sophomores from the next clique over took the two empty seats instead, leaving one seat – the one Natsu had expected him to go for – right across from Lucy. Loke stopped nervously, glancing around, before hesitantly taking the open seat.

“Loke?” Natsu puzzled, “ Doushitanda? [26] ”

Loke flinched, not looking up. “ Nandemo nai. [27] ”

Natsu glanced around the table. Lucy was chatting happily with Levy, Jet and Droy not taking their eyes off the bluenette. Jellal had better fallen into character as he ate his lunch in near silence while Mirajane and Elfman talked. Gray and Erza had started some conversation in Japanese that Natsu only caught pieces of. Cana complained loudly about some rule or another to a distracted Bisca and Alzack. Everything seemed pretty normal. It was this point where Loke usually would have started flirting with somebody. Instead, he ate in tense quiet and didn’t look up from his tray. Wonder what’s up. But now doesn’t seem the time – probs should just leave him be.

Natsu noticed Gray had left his lunch fairly unattended, and inspiration hit him like a brick to the head – sudden, forceful, and leaving an evil grin growing on his face like a nasty bruise.

---

“GAHH SON OF A-!”

The shout startled Lucy, bringing her conversation to a halt as she whipped her head around. Gray jumped up from the table as he shouted, sending his chair clattering backwards. Natsu laughed hysterically as Gray pawed at his tongue, eyes watering.

“You slanty-eyed fire ant! You ruined my strawberries!”

“Served you right!” Natsu wheezed, slapping his knee.

“For what?!” Gray yelled back.

“I dunno, for being stupid and having droopy eyes!”

Lucy initially laughed at the situation; the chaos was kinda fun sometimes, and it was a welcome distraction from the awkwardness emanating from the boy in front of her. Then Erza spoke up.

“You two better start behaving yourselves,” she hissed, “or neither of you will taste anything for a week.”

Both Natsu and Gray blanched, sitting down with an “aye sir!”

Lucy barely held in a chuckle. Her new-found friends were completely nuts, and she loved it. She could get used to these rambunctious weirdos. But lunch was half over and she still had things to do, so she shoved the last bite of her salad into her mouth and went to stand.

“Well,” she said, addressing the whole table, “You guys are a lot of fun, but I’ve got some things to do.” She glanced at Gray’s tray and found it was still mostly full of food. Probs should find someone else to take me to Director Dreyar. She looked at Loke, who must have become a stone statue based on how still he was. That won’t work either. Maybe Jellal…? As soon as the thought had entered it was gone again – Jellal was just a bit too creepy right now, and he might not even be a part of the school theatre troupe – he could be an independent actor. She sighed and continued her thought. “Does anyone know where I can find a member of the drama club?”

The whole table went silent, looking at her in shock, before bursting into raucous laughter.

“What?” she said, furrowing her brow. Did I say something?

“Lucy,” Natsu chuckled, clapping a hand on her back, “we’re all members of the drama club.”

The group continued laughing as her mouth dropped open.

“Did I not mention that, Lu-chan?” Levy giggled furiously.

“N-no, you didn’t,” Lucy stammered.

“Well now you know,” Cana declared. “Should have said when I first introduced myself.” She extended a hand again. “Cana Alberona, resident specialist in drunk characters.”

The widening of Lucy’s eyes further triggered another round of laughter at the table.

“W-what do to the rest of you do?” Lucy asked, blushing.

“I like writing scripts,” Levy sang, “but I can act a little too.”

“Jet and I specialize in stage fights,” Droy grinned, running a hand over his slick, dark hair.

“Me and Bisca build prop guns!” Alzack put in, glancing at a blushing Bisca.

“I don’t act much anymore,” Mirajane hummed, “I do more directing, but when I’m on stage I specialize in villains.”

“Oh yeah,” Natsu noted through a mouth full of mashed potatoes, “didn’t they call you the She-Devil?”

“Still do!” Elfman proudly proclaimed. “ Sore wa otoko da! [28] ”

Mira smiled sweetly. “I still think your anthros acting is better, Elfman.”

“Anthros acting?” Lucy asked.

“He plays animals or characters that are part animal,” Natsu explained, “Much cooler than ice freak over here, just building sets and playing shirtless guys.”

“Hey!” Gray shouted, starting to get up.

“Gray, Natsu,” Erza said calmly. They both blanched again and sat down.

“So what do you do, Erza?” Lucy inquired. Erza had just placed a large strawberry in her mouth, so it was Jellal who spoke.

“She does lots of costume work,” he beamed, “but working with her on stage is great. She’s really good, and I’ve never seen anybody do a quick-change as fast as she can.”

“Oh wow, that’s really cool!” Lucy grinned. Erza’s cheeks turned a light pink.

She glanced around the table, absorbing the new perspective of her friends before realizing something.

“Wait, Natsu, what do you do?”

“Me?” Natsu swallowed his bite of pear before giving her a huge, mischievous grin. “Pyrotechnics.”

Lucy’s jaw hit the floor. “Wait, what? ”

“Well yeah, that’s why my handle is Salamander.”

All the chatter she’d overheard yesterday came crashing into her. Fire tricks, special effects, pyrotechnics, tabasco… She tried to picture the pinkette doing some of the rumored stunts, and to her surprise, she had no trouble.

“ You’re Salamander?” she breathed.

Natsu frowned. “Is that hard to believe? That’s how I knew that party was no good – the faker was tarnishing my name. I thought I told you that.”

Lucy’s heart pounded as things started to click into place. “So you punching him in the face with a fireball wasn’t the drugs?!”

The table burst into laughter again.

“You went all flameo at the party?” Gray howled, clutching his stomach as he laughed.

“Just to intimidate,” Natsu said bluntly, “It’s not like the fire actually does much.”

Lucy smacked his arm. “You should have said something sooner! The only reason I went to that party was because I thought he was you!”

Natsu rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and mumbled a “sorry”.

“What do you need a drama club member for, Lu-chan?” Levy asked, wiping a tear from her smiling eyes.

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest, grumbling to Levy but still looking at Natsu. “I transferred here to do theatre, since they didn’t have it at my old school. I need someone to introduce me to Director Dreyar so I can get his signature for my schedule change. Too bad someone didn’t speak up after I blathered to them about my thespionage yesterday.”

“Oi oi I was eating then!” Natsu countered through a mouth full of tabasco-covered broccoli.

“That doesn’t seem to be stopping you now,” Gray put in, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes. Natsu smacked him lightly.

“It’s a bit late to go to his office now,” Levy said thoughtfully, “but I’m sure one of us could find you after 6th hour and bring you with. What class do you have then?”

“ Oretachi no eigo no kurasu da. [29] ” Natsu piped up, “with Mr. Melon.”

Levy let out a shriek of joy that made Loke fall out of his seat. “We have the same English class?! Oh Lu-chan this is going to be so fun!”

With that, Lucy’s rage against Bora was gone. So many things had gone gloriously right since waking up this morning. She’d made new friends, she’d remembered where all of her classes were – she’d even had a lot of fun. With a life like this, Bora just didn’t seem to matter anymore.

After the bell rang and everyone left for class, she discovered that Cana, Mirajane, and Erza were also in her Physics class right after lunch. That class hour had been amazing. Mira was as sweet as honey and Erza carried an older-sister sort of warmth. Cana was incredibly crass, but the three of them were kind and fun and absolutely what Lucy was looking for in her new life away from the estate. They exuded genuineness, and it was refreshing.

In her next period she found that, in addition to Natsu and Levy, she shared English with Jet, Droy, and Loke. That hour was just as rambunctious and fun as her morning classes had been. To her surprise – and relief – her anxiety about running from home had shrunk down to a trickle. The chaos was startlingly unpredictable, true, but the honesty of it all – Jet and Droy’s open argument over Levy’s affections, Natsu’s childish paper airplane crafting, Levy’s bubbly excitement over the subject at hand… This was only the second day and already she felt like she belonged.

The bell rang and Natsu sprang from his seat, hastily slinging his bag over his shoulder and rushing to Lucy’s desk. Before she’d even begun to put away her things he threw her messenger bag over his other shoulder, grabbed her notebook and her hand, and sprinted out the door.

“N-Natsu!” Lucy shouted, stumbling as his strong grip pulled her down the hall. “What are you-?”

“ Oretachi no kurabu wo hairitaindarou? [30] ” he said with a grin. Lucy’s eyes met his in the midst of the chaotic hallway. Time seemed to slow and joy welled up in her chest. She had only known this boy for two days, but the look in his eyes – as simple and happy as it was – told her she might as well be family.

She nodded, gripping his hand in return. What he said next reverberated familiarity through her heart.

“ Kouyou! [31] ”

---

[1] Well, let’s go.

[2] Don’t speak in Japanese, it’s hard to understand you.

[3] I'm not Japanese! It's not my fault!

[4] Yes, go ahead.

[5] Who are you?

[6] Sorry! I’m Lucy.

[7] I remember.

[8] Everyone, welcome! First, I will take roll. Please say ‘hai’.

[9] Wait, Sarusuke-san, why are you here?

[10] Mr. Fullbuster, go ahead.

[11] ~Nice to meet you.~ I’m Gray Fullbuster.

[12] ~Please accept my regards.~

[13] Um… ~Nice to meet you.~ I’m Juvia Lockser. My hometown is Kyoto.

[14] But, Juvia will do her best! ~Please accept my regards!~

[15] Um… are you Lucy?

[16] Yes, I am. Your name is…?

[17] Let’s be friends!

[18] ~I’d love to!~

[19] MAN!

[20] That is not man!

[21] Nice to meet you!

[22] Nice to meet you.

[23] Very man!

[24] Wait…

[25] Where’s Loke?

[26] What’s wrong?

[27] It’s nothing.

[28] It’s man!

[29] She’s got our English class.

[30] You want to join our club, don’t you?”

[31] ~Come on!~

[hazzasgayvodka]

10 *BROWN EYED WOMAN*10

Impact: Chapter 10

Chapter title song: Brown Eyed Woman - Grateful Dead

JESS

I wake up to the ear shattering sound of his blaring alarm clock from his side table. I roll over, squinting my eyes against the light coming in the window to see him not even budging.

"Harry," I groan, shoving at his back and attempting to cover my ears with my pillow, "Harry wake up and shut that thing off please."

He just mumbles in his sleep, rolling further onto his side and adjusting his pillow. How on Earth is he sleeping through this insatiable beeping? I huff in annoyance and sit up in bed, reaching as far over as I can to silence the screeching alarm clock. Before I know it I'm damn near on top of him, but my fingertips just barely skim the snooze button and the room falls silent again. I sigh in relief as I fall back against the bed rather than reaching across him. He stirs in his sleep, turning over to face me as he blinks his eyes open.

"I know I said you could spoon me for warmth, but I never agreed to you laying on top of me, dollface." He smirks, folding his arms.

I roll my eyes and get up from the bed, my feet nearly freezing on the spot as they come into contact with the ice-cold floor. I grab my slippers and shove them on, crossing my arms over my chest as I head out the door to the bathroom. I start the shower and turn the heat as far as it will go, hoping to defrost myself before me and Harry have to leave for Stats class. Just as I've stepped into the hot water, the door to the bathroom swings open and closes again.

"Harrrryyyy." I groan, not in the mood for his antics this early in the morning.

"Just brushing my teeth," He says, and I can hear the smug expression in his voice, "I'll try not to run the water too much."

I hear the faucet turn on and I screech as the shower water turns ice cold. I jump out of the water stream from the shower just as I hear him chuckling, his laugh muddled by his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Harry! I swear to god!" I shout, peeking out of the shower curtain and throwing a nearly empty bottle of shampoo at him.

He dodges it, holding up his hands in surrender as I hold up another bottle ready to aim, "Woah, woah! Calm down dollface!" He laughs, his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

He reaches for the faucet and rinses his mouth out before turning it off and tossing his toothbrush back into the cup with mine. He looks at me expectantly and I only roll my eyes, once again disappearing behind the shower curtain. The water is warm again on my skin and I can finally breathe. I hear the bathroom door close again as I rinse my hair and grab my towel. I peek outside the curtain to make sure he's gone before I grab my clothes and start to get dressed for class.

I'm tugging my jeans up my legs when the door opens again, and he walks back inside, pushing past me as if everything is fine.

"Harry! What the hell!" I shout, holding my tshirt up to cover my nearly naked top half.

"Come on dollface, you're not my type. If I was gonna look I would have done it by now." He shrugs uninterestedly as he runs his fingers through his hair and pulls a black sweatshirt over his thin tshirt.

"Oh lovely, so glad to know that I'm not the type for a guy that has no type." I huff, rolling my eyes.

"Not what I meant." He defends, finally turning to me as I stretch my sweater over my head.

"Sure, Styles."

I flatten the frizz already apparent in my hair and check the time, making sure that I'm ready a bit early as Harry was complaining about wanting to get coffee before class today.

"Ready?" He calls from outside.

I exit the bathroom and nod, following him to the door and checking my bag as we both get in his car to make sure I have everything. I realize that the car is already started when I get inside, heat flooding it, the ice already scraped from the windshield. He gets in beside me and backs out, speeding towards the campus Starbucks in order to grab a coffee to warm our insides before we're late to Dante's class.

It's snowing too much for the drive through to be open and he swears under his breath as he reluctantly shuts the car off and gets out, dragging me with him to the glass doors. As soon as we step inside I'm defrosting, my teeth no longer chattering in the harsh wind. He breathes heavily, rubbing his hands together and shoving them into his pockets.

"You look nice today." He smirks.

I turn around to face him to see his eyes looking further south than I expected them to be. He quickly looks up with raised eyebrows, knowing that I've just caught him.

"Eyes are up here, Styles." I tease.

"Listen, benefits of being friends with attractive females is getting to stare at said female." He shrugs, defending himself.

"That is such bullshit," I laugh, moving up to the counter, "You just don't want me to feel bad about not being your type."

"That is so not true." He scoffs, stepping up beside me.

I look at the chalkboard behind the barista's head trying to decide what to order when Harry bumps me out of the way.

"I'll take an Americano black and she'll have a caramel macchiato." He says, just barely glancing at my face to gauge my reaction.

Before I can get my wallet out to pay he's already swiping his card and thanking the woman behind the counter. He moves to the side, guiding me with him and leaning against the pickup counter, crossing one leg over the other.

"I can pay for my own coffee you know." I scold.

"I know." He grins, clearly proud of himself for getting under my skin this early in the day.

The barista calls his name and he swings around the counter to grab our drinks. She eyes him with a perfect pout as she hands him his coffee and smiles gracefully, looking him up and down. It's the same look that every other girl that's ever come into contact with him puts on. He seems oblivious to it or maybe he just doesn't care anymore. He pays her no mind as he hands me my coffee and we rush back to the warmth of the car that's almost gone cold and speed to class.

Most days went just like this, waking up and sharing the bathroom before heading to class together and then to work afterwards. We were civil and friendly and the biggest argument we had was over what we wanted for dinner. It turned out that the heating problem in my building wasn't as simple as fixing the air conditioning unit, Erica sent out an email letting us know that something was wrong with the boilers and it would be at least another few days to fix it.

Meanwhile, they finally moved all the other girls in the building to reassigned living arrangements for the time being. Sam asked me if I wanted to relocate to the apartment complex Easton was borrowing for the sake of housing all of us, but I told her I was just fine staying where we were as long as Harry and Niall were okay with it too.

We had started to become a sort of spectacle at Easton, many students speaking in hushed whispers about our relationship. Ninety nine percent of the time we were together, and it had started to feel normal. After class every day we'd go to the library, I'd help him with psychology and he'd teach me French. We started working on our project, just jotting down stupid notes about each other like where we're from and what our favorite colors were. I think we both realized that we didn't need to take notes, we knew each other, and trying to describe the other person in a MLA formatted paper just wasn't going to cut it.

Even Sam was suspicious of our relationship which she made clear on the daily, always dropping remarks about how she's never seen Harry have a truly platonic friendship with a girl before. I explained things to Jace, assuring him that we were just study buddies and I was only staying with him because Sam was there too. Harry and Miles were even getting along due to Harry's promise. Miles joined us in the library every now and then to teach us both Stats as he was a mathematics major and understood the stuff like the back of his hand. Harry didn't protest when Jace came to pick me up to see a movie or when Miles and I went for dinner after work one night.

Despite what Harry wanted others to think, he proved to be quite the party animal too. The boys were known for their parties and over the span of my stay they had thrown a few ragers. Harry loved to act like they were inconvenient and complain when Niall announced another one but he was always the first person blasting music and setting up the keg. As long as I was in sight throughout the night, he was fine. He constantly warned me about other guys and reminded me of the night with Ryland but there was never an issue. As soon as he drank enough he would let go and suddenly we'd be dancing on the living room table, racing to take the most Jell-O shots, or dominating the pong game.

I had previously dreaded the idea of working as Harry's assistant but after seven days of working together, I realized it wasn't that bad. Sure, he was particular and occasionally got snappy with me, but I was used to his personality by now. He was abrupt and a little rude and he absolutely never remembered the times of his meetings but suddenly he was my best friend.

I'm not really sure when it happened but suddenly we were never apart. We woke up at the same time and Harry always made some crude remark about me sleeping in his bed. Sometimes sharing the bathroom worked fine and other days we were elbow-to-elbow trying to brush our teeth. He always groaned when I put makeup on and entertained himself by driving horribly when I was trying to apply lipstick in his car. We went out for dinner after work all the time and tried to find the weirdest excuses we could get away with to throw at Louis and Sam when they asked where we were all day.

He went with me to explain to Sarah that I got another job and convinced Lex that I had greater potential than just being his assistant so now I rough edit the manuscripts before Harry has a chance to fine tune them. Lex is always saying we're a good team and I'm starting to believe him.

"Jessica!" I hear Lex's voice call.

I turn around expecting to see him smiling happily as always but instead he looks like he's seen a ghost. Suddenly I'm paying attention, wondering what on Earth could possibly have Lex this shook up.

"What is it?" I ask worriedly.

"Oh god, can you tell? Jesus I'm so stressed." He sighs, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair in the same way that Harry does.

Someone calls his name from his office and he looks back over his shoulder before turning back to me and forcing a smile onto his bewildered face. He takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to me.

"Give this to Harry, would you? I would do it myself but, it's so last minute, god he's going to be so mad, it's okay just make sure you give it to him." He says hurriedly, patting me on the back before turning back to his office and calling for his assistant.

I turn back towards Harry's office, letting my eyes wander to the elevator and wishing he would step off of it soon. My eyes dart back to the folded up paper and I feel my fingers itching to unfold it and sneak a peak of its contents. Before I know what I'm doing the paper is unraveled and I'm reading the two words scribbled across it.

Vance 2:30

I'm opening Harry's office door as I ponder what it could possibly mean when his voice calls my name. He smiles upon seeing my face, but curiosity gets the best of him as he looks to the crumpled piece of paper in my hand.

"What's this?" He asks, taking it from my hand and unraveling it.

Suddenly his face falls, his eyebrows furrowing together as he reads the same two words over and over again it seems.

"Who gave you this?" He asks, the smile that once graced his lips now replaced with grit teeth and a taut jaw.

"Lex, he said-"

"Goddammit of course, I told him I don't fucking want him around here anymore." He huffs, throwing the crumpled note into the trash can and pushing past me to the door.

I grab his suit jacket and pull him back to me, searching his eyes for any indication of what the hell is going on.

"Wait, Harry, what does it mean? Who's...Vance?" I ask carefully, reminding myself of the words as they start to make sense now that I know Vance is a name.

"No one you need to worry about." He sighs, shrugging me off of him and reaching for the door again.

He's so rigid, his eyes are so angry. I've never seen him look like this other than last night when he shoved Ryland against the wall. Even then there were tremors in him but now he's like a statue with white knuckled fists and a clenched jaw.

I grab at his jacket once again and he tries to brush me off but I won't give up this easily. I place myself in front of him, holding the door closed with my hand over his and he's finally forced to look me in the eyes.

He lets his head fall, hanging low on his shoulders as he lets out a breath and takes my hand away from the door handle. He looks back up from his hunched position to meet my eyes and my hand instinctively reaches up to fix his disheveled hair and lift it from his forehead. He smiles weakly, moving closer to me. I've never seen him like this, so silent and defeated, allowing me to nearly hold him up and run my fingers through his hair.

"Talk to me?" I say, but it comes out sounding more like a question.

He grimaces when he realizes that I'm not letting this go so easily. He starts to pull away from me, but I grab him tighter.

"Jess-"

"No, we're not doing this mysterious bad boy shit today, start talking." I say, looking up at him, resting my chin on his chest.

"He's just, he's not a great guy, and I don't want him around." He says carefully.

"Why? What did he do?"

He pulls away from me quickly and walks to the windows at the other side of the room, running frantic hands through his already messy hair.

"We're not doing this. He's just a bad guy. Leave it alone." He quips, not bothering to turn around and face me as he says it.

No matter how many times he says to leave it alone, I can't. Whoever Vance is, he has the ability to throw Harry in a 180. How is it that only five minutes ago he was smiling but now there's no trace of happiness in him at all.

He reaches forward and opens the window in front of him, pushing it outwards until the rush of cold wind from outside fills his office. He sits comfortably on the window sill, laying his legs out in front of him with his back pressed against one side of the window and his feet against the other. He looks almost relaxed, his shoulders slightly slumped and his chest rising up and down at a normal pace. He focuses on the traffic below and then his eyes move up to the sky, disregarding me completely.

I decide to make a bold move, hoping that it works in my favor and helps him open up to me. I grab his pack of cigarettes and lighter off his desk and walk to the window, sitting myself across from him with his feet beside me. He finally turns his attention to me as I lean forward and offer him a cigarette. He chuckles, opening his mouth and allowing me to place it between his teeth before sparking his lighter and igniting the end.

He sits back again, breathing in the smoke before taking the cigarette between his fingers and blowing it back out. He turns back to me and places my feet sat beside him in his lap. I laugh as he eyes my pink socks now poking out of my trousers.

"Jessica Lawson," he scolds, smirking at me, "Are you wearing pink polka dotted fuzzy socks in your boots?"

I'm happy to see him smiling again whether it be at my expense or not. I nod, and he laughs, leaning his head back against the window sill behind him and blowing the smoke towards the ceiling. He jumps when he hears Lex yelling through the office and licks his lips, tapping his cigarette out on the window sill and tossing it.

He stands from the window, offering me his hand to help me up too. He holds onto my hand longer than I expect and he pulls me back to him, his eyes meeting mine.

"Jess, will you do me a favor?" He asks.

"Of course." I answer quickly hoping that this favor will give me insight on the situation.

"Go home while he's here, just tell Lex that I gave you some errands to run or something-"

"What? No way, I'm trying to help Harry, I'm not running away-"

"I don't need your help!" He shouts, quickly composing himself from his outburst, my heart suddenly racing in my chest, "I've dealt with him before I just need time alone."

He pulls away from me and his balled fists reach for the roots of his hair where he tugs, consciously running his hands through his hair and flexing his jaw as he paces in front of me.

"I just can't, I can't do this with you here, you have to go, I can't let him near-"

He stops midsentence with a grimace as if the pain itself forced him to close his mouth so abruptly. I can't believe the sight in front of me. The strongest and most self-assured man I know has been transformed into a ball of stuttering nerves from a single word on crumpled piece of paper.

"Hey," I say, grabbing at him, "I'm here, I'm right here."

"I know," He sighs, "and you can't be, please, just go home."

"Harry-"

"Please, I'll see you tonight I promise, I just need to do this alone."

His voice is desperate as his eyes look between my own and his arms hold me to him. I'm brimming with questions and confused as I take in the sight of him in front of me. But I let it go and hug him, burying my face in his chest regardless. I take in the smell of him and allow him to rest his chin on top of my head as he breathes out a heavy sigh.

He pulls me away from him too soon and straightens his jacket on his shoulders. I stand closer to the door with every step, watching as he fixes his messy hair and slowly builds back the walls of his businessman façade.

"Are you going to be okay?" I ask him quietly, my hand on the doorknob.

He turns to me with solemn eyes and quickly crosses the space between us until he's holding my hands in his, assuring my shaking fingers with a squeeze.

"It's time to be a Styles, I'm always okay." He says sternly, reaching his hands to his lip where he removes his two lip rings and tosses them into his jacket pocket.

He flashes a bright smile, tugging his jacket up on his shoulders and buttoning the top buttons on his dress shirt. Suddenly he's a different person with dimples in his cheeks and a charming sparkle in his eyes.

"How do I look?" He smirks, doing a spin and posing with his brilliant smile on display.

"Nearly perfect." I grin, moving to his desk and shuffling through his drawers before producing his pair of glasses.

I walk back over to him with them hidden behind my back before quickly sliding them on his face and taking in the sight of him looking so intellectual. It's as if he's someone else entirely staring back at me, no earrings in his ears or rings in his lips, no tattoos visible down his arms.

He takes the glasses off too quickly and rolls his eyes, "I am not wearing these."

"Harry, you look amazing with them."

"You're such a liar." He groans.

"No, I'm not, stop it," I huff, grabbing them and putting them back on the bridge of his nose, "I'll go home if you wear them."

I expect his face to light up as he agrees but he remains staring at me with furrowed eyebrows, pursing his lips as he weighs his options.

"Dammit, Lawson." He sighs, pushing the glasses up on his nose and pulling me to him.

I laugh as I collide with his chest and he wraps his arms around me in another hug. I push away too fast knowing that he has to get to this mystery meeting with "Vance". I pull his suit jacket up on his shoulders and take in the sight of him in his glasses one last time before I leave the office.

I start to gather my things at my desk as Lex walks out of his office across the hall and asks me where I'm going so early.

"Oh, I have errands to run for, Harry. Dry cleaning and such." I lie easily, shrugging my purse up on my shoulder.

"Oh alright, how's he doing?" He asks worriedly.

"Just fine, he's great, should be ready for the meeting any second." I say too quickly, my words pouring out like word vomit as I wonder if Lex knows why Vance makes Harry so anxious.

"Oh, is he? Okay, well, I'll be in the conference room then."

He looks utterly shocked as he turns and tucks his briefcase under his arm before continuing down the hall. Immediately I know I've said the wrong thing.

I take up my things and start making my way to the elevator hoping that I get out of here before he sees me loitering around the office and starts yelling. Half way down the hall I hear the door to an office click open and I turn around to see him emerge from his office and blow out one last puff of smoke before shoving a stick of gum between his teeth.

He smiles at the mail girl walking past him as he buttons one of his suit jacket buttons and waves to Lex across the office. He's a completely different person. This is the façade, the Styles mask, and he wears it well.

I press the button for the elevator, averting my eyes from him, just as the doors slide open revealing a man I've yet to see around the office. He's mature, maybe a few years older than Lex. He steps out with a smile, dressed in a slick black dress shoes and an expensive looking pinstripe suit. It's only when he nods to me that I catch sight of his bright green eyes.

He passes by me with a bright smile and heads to the back of the office. He seems so familiar, the curiosity of who he could be is eating at me. It feels like I know in the back of my brain, a distant memory I can't quite grasp, it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't place it. Surely, he can't be him, Vance, he's too nice and gentlemanly. He radiates confidence and pure charisma as he takes his strides through the office and waves to countless employees.

He approaches Harry at the end of the hallway, attempting to sling his arm around Harry's shoulders as Lex has done a million times. Harry dodges him, his once friendly demeaner is gone, replaced by a grinding jaw and daggers for eyes. It comes together right before my eyes, as soon as I notice Harry's sunken posture, he's not stood up tall and poised as he always is to intimidate everyone else. He's caving in on himself, staring at his shoes. I can see his hands fidgeting to run through his hair from here. This must be Vance.

Just then, he looks up and meets my eyes across the office. His eyebrows are furrowed in anger, his eyes are filled with hatred, the same green that brings life to the mystery man's eyes. The olive skin, the tousled brown hair; this isn't just another business associate, this man is a Styles.

I look up to see the mystery man and Harry both rub their neck at the same time, in the same way, before similarly chewing the sides of their lips while Lex continues talking. It's puzzling how much they look alike, the same shade of dark hair and the same long-legged build.

And then it hits me like a truck, this man isn't just a Styles, this man is Harry's father.

[buckybabybaby]

Everything Backwards (Chapter 1/12)

Summary: When you make-out with a ‘James’ on a night out, you don’t expect to see him again, so imagine your surprise the next day when it turns out he’ll be your new sort-off-flat-mate. As Nanny for Peggy & Steve's three children, you've lucked out, but now the guy across the corridor is threatening to ruin it all. 

This is the story of how it works out.

A/n: I have been sitting on this series since march, so I decided it’s time to share.

I’ve written most of the next chapter, and got six (6!) pages worth of plot points and random dialogue without a scene to go in yet, so I think this series will be a long one. 

I really hope people like it!

Proof read by way of a text-speech device.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (gender neutral) Slow burn.

Word count: 3269

Warnings: Alcohol/intoxication, and Bucky’s a bit of a dick in this sorry! But he’ll improve, I promise.

Everything Backwards Masterlist | Masterlist

You’re not entirely sure how you’ve got in to this situation. Ending up in the arms of the most attractive guy in the club isn’t exactly what you expected to happen when you went out to celebrate one week of your new job, and whilst you are enjoying it, you’ve clearly had too much to drink if the dizziness is anything to go by. 

Gently pushing him away from your mouth and breathing deeply to calm yourself, you look around for your friends, but they’re nowhere to be seen. Closing your eyes, you try to remember what the hell just happened. 

You’re brought suddenly back to reality by a hand to your shoulder, and as you sheepishly meet the gaze of your new acquaintance, you can’t help but stare.

“You alright?”

“Just, um…” this man is very pretty, and it’s thrown you off thought, “Do you know where Natasha and Wanda have gone?”

He shrugs, and attempts to bring you back in to kiss, but only succeeds in knocking you off balance into his chest. You rest your head in the crook of his neck and just breathe as he laughs, holding you closer. Finding your feet again you pull away and squint at the dance floor.

“They were here, I don’t… where would…” trailing off you glance back at the man in confusion. 

Swaying a bit you attempt to move back to lean on the wall, but as his arms are still around you you end up falling against him again, this time clinging to his t-shirt to ground yourself. You really need to leave this loud flashing room before it overwhelms you.

“Do you want to go outside?” he asks, pushing aside the hair in front of your face. 

You nod at him, pulling away and leading him from the dance floor to the stairs. Surprisingly, you find your self able to walk without stumbling, and make quick work of the steps to the roof garden. 

Fresh air. Just what you need. Your new friend follows you quickly and you’re once again struck by how attractive he is, especially under the fairy lights, all soft hair and bright eyes. You swallow dryly as he looks you over with a smirk, before meeting your eye and grinning.

“Feeling better?” You nod.

“Can you see your friends?” Glancing around, you let out of sigh of relief as you spot them over by the fire escape. You point them out.

“Good.”

Leading you over to the wall trellis, he pushes you against it gently, and claims your mouth again. 

This time you’re much more aware of what’s going on. His lips are soft and taste of whisky and sugar, the little bit of scruff he’s sporting scraping you in the best way, and your hands wind up in his hair which is just as silky as it looks. You share a few very pleasant teasing kisses, but it comes to an abrupt end when you realise something quite important.

“Wait wait, wait a second,” you press a finger to his chest, ignoring how firm it is so you don’t get distracted again, before asking, “What’s your name?”

There’s a beat of silence as he licks his lips, looking like he’s trying not to laugh. “James, darling.”

His name suits him, you think, almost letting him lean in once more before you have another thought.

“Do you know mine?”

Again silence, but at least this time he has the decency to look a little embarrassed. He shakes his head.

“Y/N.” You do laugh, but more in relief that you both were unaware of the others name when you started making out. You allow him to kiss you again, his hand under your top this time, but seconds later you’re pulling away as a voice makes you both jump.

“Y/N! So this is where you’ve been hiding, who’s your friend?”.

You look up at Natasha, feeling James move his hands to your waist, but not letting you go completely.

You scoff at her. “Considering you abandoned me, I’m not entirely sure I’m the one hiding.”

“We didn’t ‘abandon’ you, if anything we had to leave, it was getting too hot in there.”

She’s smirking and you feel yourself flush, introducing James to her and Wanda to hide your embarrassment. They grin at him and then you, unnervingly, and you decide that a private discussion is needed, dragging them towards the foyer with a quick 'stay here’ thrown James’ way. You move too fast to catch his reply.

“Oh my, Y/N!” 

Two very tipsy girls are screaming in your ears and you can’t help but laugh along with them, swept up in the madness. The entrance hall is empty for once so no one can complain about the squealing.

“Okay, but that guy is so hot!” Natasha is jumping up and down next to you, an impressive feat in her heels. “The way he was holding you…” she murmurs, looking dazed, before laughing again, “The things he could do to you!”

You choke a bit, sharing a look of amusement with Wanda, before noting, “I think he’s only holding me like that because I keep falling on him.”

The face Natasha pulls has you confused. “You’re falling for him? Bit soon is-”

You interrupt quickly. “No! I said on, falling on him, as in over.”

The thought that your friends might think you’d 'fall’ for some guy an hour after meeting, knowing absolutely nothing about him, has you laughing in horror. They join in, and you all cling to each other in hysterics, looking slightly crazy but not caring at all. When you can all breathe again you stand and check your appearance in one of the mirrors decorating the walls. 

Placing a hand on the glass to stop yourself from face-planting the lipstick stained surface, you take a few deep breaths, before straightening up and spotting your closest friends reflected behind you.

“Ready to face loverboy again?” Wanda asks. 

You squint at your reflection, then hers, then Natasha’s who’s making very suggestive gestures with her hands.

“He’s not gonna know what hit him,” you wink, then walk out, accompanied by wolf whistles and screams of 'go get him’.

“We’ll be at the bar if you need us,” Natasha says, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead and disappearing towards the stairs. 

You wave at their backs, smiling widely then take a few steps into the garden, scanning the crowd for James.

It’s ten minutes later and you’re pretty sure he’s gone. The bar is bare of your friends by the time you give up and go to find them, so you order the strongest drink you can handle and sit down to sulk. 

It isn’t like you were actually going to go home with him, but still, you quite liked the confidence that having a guy that attractive all over you had given you. Wincing as you take another sip, you decide you aren’t going to let him ruin your night, and, readjusting your outfit and hair, hop off the bar stool and head to the dance floor to find Natasha and fill her in. She pouts at you and you pout back.

“Dance with me instead Y/N, I’m sure he was gross anyway.” She pulls you into the middle of the mass of gyrating people, and the next hour is spent twirling and giggling without a care in the world.

The worst part of any night out is always trying to find a cab prepared to take you home at a price you can afford, and, as the alcohol wears off you start to feel the cold.

“Success!” Natasha finally calls to you. “Lets get you home, Y/N. Or you can stay at mine if you want?”

You follow her to the taxi and slide in beside Wanda. “That’s kind of you, but even though I’m not working tomorrow it’s probably best I’m there, just in case.”

You only started this job six days ago and you don’t want to jeopardise anything this early on. Also, your new amazing mattress is calling you, sounding a lot more appealing than squishing in with these two who always steal the covers.

The heating inside the car is making you very sleepy, so you’re glad your stop is the first, hugging your friends goodbye before tripping out the vehicle and up the stairs, fumbling with your keys. Pushing open the door gently and slipping through the gap, you watch your friends wave as they pull away. 

Alone in the dark hallway you allow your eyes to adjust for a second. Thankfully your room is on the ground floor and you move slowly towards the end of the passage, careful to not make any noise, swearing quietly as the hinges on your door squeak. You know you’ll feel a lot better in the morning if you freshen up now so you grab your toothbrush as you search for your moisturiser, before drinking a full glass of water to help with your head. 

The room’s spinning when you finally fall in bed, so you close your eyes against it all and almost immediately slip into unconsciousness.

You have yet to experience a Sunday morning in this house, so the unofficial wake up call when people start crashing around at eight am is unexpected to say the least. Rolling over in bed you attempt to fall back asleep but your brain is suddenly very alert, and you stare at the ceiling as memories come flooding back. 

Did you really make out with that guy? You try to recall his face but draw a blank, only managing to picture bright blue eyes and soft hair, cringing as you remember you didn’t even know his name for half the time he was kissing you. James. You haven’t forgotten it, even if you cant quite conjure up an image of him. 

With a sigh, you decide moping in bed is the worst thing you can do and promptly push up from the pillows to get ready for the day. If the screaming outside your door is anything to go by, you may be needed to work after all.

The water you drank last night seems to have helped a lot, as there is only a dull throb in your skull as you move to the kitchen for breakfast. A headache you can deal with. As you are staring at the many different cereals in the cupboard, trying to decide how much sugar you want, a voice startles you.

“Have fun last night Y/N?” Mr Rogers, Steve, as he’s asked you to call him, is leaning against the counter watching you and you pray for the earth to swallow you up. 

This is it, you think. Maybe he saw you come in last night and was horrified by how intoxicated you were. Or maybe someone posted a video somewhere of you with that guy and the Rogers’ have decided you were not the right person for the job after all. Your heart rate picks up as you think through all the possible situations. 

“We need to have a talk.”

Oh no. You can feel tears pricking but if this is it then you’re determined to hold on to your dignity. Forcing yourself to meet his eye, you frown as he looks almost guilty. He looks you over too and must notice how distressed you are as he immediately takes both of your hands in his, smiling kindly at you.

“I’m sorry to have to do this to you,” he begins. 

So you are being let go. You decide to forsake your pride for once, this is the greatest job you’ve ever had, ever, and result to begging.

“Please, it won’t happen again, I promise, I just drank a little too-”

He cuts you off. “Whatever you think this is, it’s not.”

Steve looks sincere so you let him proceed. “What you do in your free time is none of my business. Today’s your day off and you’re still up before nine so I’d say you were entitled to it. And I didn’t even hear you come in this morning, which is no mean feat considering the age of this house. So unless there’s someone in-”

“There’s not,” you interrupt.

“Well, good. Although I’d prefer you were safe somewhere you knew if you were going to do anything.” He trails off, looking embarrassed, clearing his throat as he gets back to his original point. “It’s about your room.”

Okay, not so disastrous then. When you’d accepted this job as nanny for Steve and Peggy’s children, the lovely room that came as part of the offer was a big draw. With a king sized bed opposite a large window with views over the garden, and the angle allowing the room to catch the afternoon light, it is the most pleasant bedroom you’ve ever stayed in and in less than a week you’ve made it your own. 

You’re confused about what could have gone wrong.

“I have a friend who desperately needs somewhere to stay. He pretends his place is all right but it’s about five seconds from collapsing on top of him and I know he can’t afford somewhere better so I offered him a place here.”

“You need me to move out?” 

You try to think where you could live close to here, early mornings are a given in this job so it would have to be nearby, but in this part of town? It’s not going to be cheap.

Steve once again reassures you. “Oh, no! Sorry Y/N, I should have started with that. Of course not, your room is part of your contract, that’s not going to change.”

Relief washes over you and you can breathe a little easier. 

“No, it’s not like that, but you will need to share the bathroom.”

He goes on to explain that this guy is his best friend, has been since they were children, and has had a bit of bad luck recently. A bed is to be put in the study across from your room, but as there’s only one shower on the ground floor it’ll have to be a little more communal than you’ve gotten used to.

“If he leaves it untidy or anything don’t be afraid to say something to him.”

Confrontation isn’t your strong point but you agree anyway. “When is he moving in?”

“This afternoon.”

You gasp, realising that if you don’t want to sound like a hypocrite if you ask him to be neat, you’ll need to clear up before then. When you’d gotten ready last night it was in a rush and you’d left everywhere dishevelled. You just hadn’t thought it’d have to be tidied so early.

“Sorry it’s so short notice, but I need to get him out of there as soon as I can. He’s been avoiding me seeing where he’s living, but I forced him to show me and I can see why he’s not been keen. He’s like my brother and I need him to be safe.”

He looks so concerned about his friend and your heart melts. You knew Steve was a good man but this has you realising it all over again. 

A squeal comes from the next room along and he excuses himself, assuring you that he and Peggy will be able to cope; Sunday is 'Family Day’ first and foremost. You’re now free to return to the bathroom and evaluate the mess. 

After the roller-coaster that was the last few minutes, there’s a spring in your step as you start to clean.

At three o'clock, Peggy knocks on your door. Opening it and allowing her in, you’re glad that you had a tidy up as you can see her checking it out surreptitiously.

“This is the neatest I’ve ever seen this room when someone’s been staying here. I’m impressed.” Peggy’s approval pleases you greatly. “Whenever we don’t have a nanny the house is a bit of a disaster!”

She smiles at you before leading you out to the garden. “Come and meet Steve’s friend.”

You’re slightly nervous now, even though you know that anyone Mr Rogers considers a brother must be a good person too, you still feel anxious as you follow Peggy across the decking and on to the lawn. All the children are gathered around the swing set, with Michael, the middle child, being held on the hip of a man with broad shoulders and thick dark hair. 

As you approach Steve notices and beckons you forward.

“Y/N, meet Bucky.”

With that, the stranger turns around to face you and you freeze, feeling your blood run cold. Blue eyes meet yours and you can tell he recognises you too.

“Hello Y/N.”

James, or Bucky, apparently, looks just as good as he did a little over twelve hours ago. This is bad, you think. He’s no longer wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but a soft looking sweater and sinful grey joggers. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened, you decide. 

He’s watching you with a neutral expression, and you have to break eye contact as you feel heat rise up your neck. Steve is still talking and you try to concentrate on him, but regret is making you nauseous and you need to leave immediately, excusing yourself and just about running back to your room. 

Why do things like this always happen to you? As you’re trying to work out how to deal with this situation, someone clears their throat outside your door that you’ve forgotten to close, and you nearly fall off your bed when you look up to find Bucky.

He doesn’t look happy to be there.

“I want to make sure this isn’t going to be awkward. Lets just pretend we met for the first time five minutes ago, shall we?” 

You’re frozen as he continues. “I think it’s best, especially for you, wouldn’t really want Steve and Peggy to know how you’ve been carrying on.”

There’s silence after he finishes, he’s staring you down and you can’t look away.

“Carrying on?”

“Yeah, well, not very professional, is it?”

The smirk from yesterday is back but this time it’s just mean. You bristle, and are about to defend yourself when he opens his mouth again and destroys any illusions you had about him.

“Don’t want to ruin my reputation either. No offence, but you’re not exactly my type.”

That is it. Clearly he’s one of those guys blessed with good looks, who ruin it by being a massive douche. You’re not the sort of person who’ll allow someone to offend you and get away with it and you aren’t going to let him leave without giving him a piece of your mind.

“Don’t remember you complaining about me not being your type when you had your hand up my top last night,” you begin, pleased when he looks shocked at your outburst.You walk towards him as you speak, “And I agree, I wouldn’t want anyone to know I had anything to do with you either.”

He seems to relax a bit at that and you can’t help adding; “Wouldn’t want anyone to know I had anything to do with a guy who’s head is so far up his own backside he can probably see the light again.”

With that, you push him out of your doorway and shut it in his face. Leaning back against it, you close your eyes, knowing this is just the start of your acquaintanceship with Bucky, and dreading what is to come.

Chapter 2

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