#ARENT**** ahhh

[opikiquu]

more Penacony memes!!!! (yeah its still mostly aventurine)

[claitea]

forever relevant

[whumper-at-heart]

Hold on//chord overstreet

[apollokids]

Thoughts about tsats, trauma, and the cocoa puffs

Nico’s personality in tsats feels most reminiscent of what he was like in The Titans Curse which (imo) is a sign that he is slowly healing and living with his trauma.

The Sun and the Star emphasizes that trauma and PTSD can make it feel like one’s past life events happened to a completely different person, and it mentions that Nico relates to this feeling. This distancing of oneself from past memories, experiences, and personality can result in feeling disconnected for a while, taking on new personality traits, feeling like a chameleon mimicking others, or just feeling empty.

For some people (maybe, depending on when trauma occurs), healing can be about reconnecting with our childhood selves. Depending on what someone was like before trauma, like maybe Nico for example, that can mean becoming more emotional, being more playful, indulging in your childhood interests (eg. mythomagic cards). And Nico’s progression practically mirrored mine exactly through the years, and the ways I changed in ED treatment.

It's hard to let go of a disorder when in some cases it feels like the only thing that’s stayed stable in our lives. Suffering is touted as the pinnacle of art-- we see its romanticization everywhere. It sounds weird to say that I miss being sick, or I miss my suffering, when I'm actively trying to make my life better, but those thoughts do come up. And when it comes to characters I project that misery on to? Well, if I’m suffering, then they have to suffer with me! (After all, they’re just characters, it’s not that deep, right?) Except I found that the more I made my characters suffer, and focused on the ‘beauty’ of suffering, the harder it was for me to heal from my own. Whenever my health was in decline, I characterized my favorite characters the same way. It was just as hard to allow those characters to heal as it was to allow myself to heal. (Other people might not feel the same, though.)

I think Nico choosing to accept the physical manifestations of his demons (while also setting them free, and allowing them to exist as they please) mirrors the suggestion I was given in treatment when I struggled with the idea of ‘giving up’ my eating disorder– because to me, it was always either defeat the disorder or be consumed by it, and defeating it sounded like killing a part of me or erasing a part of my past or my home. Approaching treatment from the standpoint of killing my eating disorder scared me too much. I knew my disorder had caused problems for me, but many of the habits and behaviors I’d developed had served as my coping mechanism and they helped me survive. 

So, my therapist told me: “You don’t have to shun your disorder, kill it, or say goodbye. Instead, you can acknowledge that it served a purpose during a point in your life in which you used it to survive, but you no longer need to hold on to it and that’s okay — you’re setting it free. Maybe even instead of saying goodbye, you can say ‘thank you, I’m alright now.’”

And that’s pretty much… exactly what Nico did with the demons. Bob, too, acknowledged that he was a titan, and that was part of his past, and that’s okay — but he’s allowed to change. And Nico is too.

I just found that really really wonderful because I related to it so heavily. He didn’t want to conquer his trauma in battle. He wanted it to just… be acknowledged, and set free. And it followed him, but he can have a better relationship with his past now. He’s not consumed by it. It’s just there, it’s a part of him, and he can continue to live his life. And I think reading this book (while trying to maintain and navigate post-treatment life) was exactly what I needed to remind myself why I’m doing this.

[aleki-lives-here]

shhhh, don't interrupt, he's watching some juicy ✨drama✨

[cold-neon-ocean]

Okay so I'm in a real right spot at the moment so I'm gonna open up for a few regular commission slots! Anything is on the table just no full backgrounds! I don’t normally advertise commissions over here but I’ve been unable to properly work for a while due to looking after my family’s animals :’)

I truly don’t know how tumblr deals with posts with links but I’m shooting my shot where I can so here’s the form and my carrd that has all my prices and info if you’re interested! Reblogs are very much appreciated!

[medicalunprofessional]

uggGGHHH rendering. doodling… nothing special

[wqxianwriting]

Is it me or does Nick seem like the type to be attracted to athletic girls? Like imagine him with a swimmer gf who’s buff (us swimmers are quite muscular). I don’t know… I just feel like he was be attracted to muscular girl like that (i could just be hoping tho who knows)

HE WOULD BE, I think Nick wouldn’t overall care what type of body figure you have as long as you’re being healthy with yourself but secretly I dooo think he’s one of those guys that would adore if their gf can pick them up or if you like flex infront of this man he would quite literally die.

I think he’d also love an athletic girlfriend since he’s quite athletic himself so he’d find it as a nice activity with one another. Not to mention, if you’re able to PIN HIM DOOOWN 🫵 The fifty shades of pink & red his skin will go is the funniest shit you’ve ever witnessed but also soo endearing 🥹

Muscles are cool and attractive to him in general but if his girl got them muscles especially? He couldn’t handle it but in a good way, haha. Please hug him alot though he 😳❤️💥❤️💥 LMFAOO

ALSO “US” swimmers? 👀 not me getting excited at this bit of info, if I’M excited, he’s bouncing off the walls, trust.

[motherforthefamicom]

oh yea i can upload art this time uh heres a drawing from new years eve =]

[coronangelic1]

thankful of not being from the usa scared shitless of the fact that if something goes wrong over there it will fuck other countries (including mine)

[citrlet]

last night i actually got back into writing after probably a year? of not having any motivation to and it's so exciting but god i'm so rusty akfjdks

[tellmeabtspinos]

AHHHHH I WANNA TALK ABT MY SCOOBY DOO BATMAN XOVER BUT I KNOW IF I DO ILL NEVER WRITE IT

[jennrypan]

UGHHH I NEED TO REWRITE SCOURGES ENTIRE EVERYTHING. IT NEEDS TO BE CRAZIER AHHHH

Are you there Ken Penders?? It's me and I'm gonna beat your ass for custody of Scourge 😶 (cuz Sega is using his likeness for some basic bitch who got her ass FOLDED. I'm still upset!!!)

[kasarian]

my collection of spooky guys...so far :]

Olivine, Wraith (name pending), go give them a fav if you fancy~

[countv0ncunt]

try to get dressed without crying challenge

[calbeloved]

also absolutely obsessed with the energy going on in this episode? kaiser is. changing Something about how he interacts with people (and its. not going so well. he is so AWKWARD its insane) and joui is SO sassy and just bringing up dante and arthur sleeping together every chance he gets 😭