#ARE YOU SOME SORT OF 20'S CARTOON VILLAIN

[bone-evidence]

Turns out an incredible lack of sleep and someone else restocking the fridge instead of me is a recipe for a meltdown

[inbarfink]

So when discussing the ending of ‘Over the Garden Wall’ and the nature of the Unknown in general, I think it is important to remember that it’s left deliberately up for interpretation. You know, it’s not a Quiz with one concrete answer we must uncover, but it’s more about our interpretations and personal feelings. Each and every one of us experiences that journey with Wirt and Greg into the Unknown in a slightly different way. 

So what I want to do here is not present a Correct Interpretation that will dispute all the others and prove them all wrong and prove myself right, I just want to share my own outlook on the nature of the Unknown. In the hopes that others will like it and it’ll inspire more cool readings and interpretations

So on some level I do agree with the popular theory that the Unknown is some sort of Afterlife - but I don’t see it as a regular Afterlife for human souls, I think it is an afterlife for Stories. This place is where fictional characters and stories end up once they’ve been totally forgotten by the living, ‘lost in the clouded annals of history’. and become.... unknown It is quite literally a place where ‘long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood’.

That’s why the Unknown is a mishmash of different time periods and primarily visually and narratively influenced by stuff like fairy tales, ghost stories, children’s books and old cartoons - these stories have a high-tendency to be forgotten and thus get lost in the Unknown (whatever it’s because they rely on oral traditions or because they suffered from very poor preservation historically). 

And that is what the theme song, ‘Into the Unknown’ is talking about…

Where can we pretend that dreams do come true? In Stories.

And what are ‘the loveliest lies of all’? Now that would be Fiction. 

The entire concept of stories is a huge theme of this song, I think.

Beatrice and her family, Adelaide of the Pasture, Auntie Whispers and Lorna were all originally fairy tales. Maybe the same fairy tale, or maybe they were originally separated before being ‘melded’ together. (If, for example, the last child to Remember them before they were forgotten just assumed the Bad Witch in both the Auntie Whispers and Beatrice stories was Adelaide)

Pottsfield was an old urban legend about a haunted ghost town, Wirt and Greg basically played through its ‘plot’ directly. 

Miss Langtree, the schoolhouse and the other associated characters come from a long-forgotten and out-of-print children’s book. That’s why those characters tend to talk in comically-stilted expository dialogue. 

The Tavern was the setting for a series of 20’s animated cartoons.  (Although obviously set long before that era). The Tavern Keeper was created as a Betty Boop clone and was the main character. The Tavern setting was probably a mere framing device for all sort of musical animations. The reason why none of them can comprehend the idea of not having some sort of Title or Label is because that’s how they were written - all given job-related titles but not named.

Fred the Talking Horse was a main character from a forgotten tradition of humorous oral stories where he was sometimes a trickstery anti-hero and sometimes a straight-up comedic villain protagonist.

Quincy Endicott and Margueritte Grey were characters from a satiric limerick about the greedy rich and their wacky habits. (Quincy was at least inspired by a real-life person since his name appears on a tombstone in the real world)

Possibly the same limerick where the punchline was the status-quo at the beginning of their OTGW ep, that both rivals’ mansions have become connected and they assume the other is a ghost haunting their house. Or maybe they were each from different regional variations of the same limerick about a greedy rich weirdo being lost in their own house and going mad. 

Frogland and their little boat might be from a children’s book as well, but I also think that maybe… from the vignettes shown at the opening of the series…

That one might take place outside the Unknown, and shows the real inception of Frogland. Two brothers making up stories with their toy boat by the river. Since they never shared these stories with anyone else, when these two brothers died or maybe just grew up and forgot their boyhood misadventures by the stream - these stories also ended up in the Unknown. 

The Fishing Fish we see briefly in ‘Babes in the Woods’ might be a small comedic illustration from a children’s book, or another piece of limerick, or just someone’s random notebook doodle that gained a life of its own first in the creator’s mind and then in the Unknown. 

Cloud City, the North Wind and the Queen of the Clouds were also, much like the Tavern, from a very old cartoon.

The Beast was once just a mere Boogie Man to keep young children from wandering off into the woods. Ending up forgotten in the Unknown just ended up giving him a whole world of lost souls to harvest. 

Maybe the Woodsman and his daughter were always a part of the story of the Beast. But since it seems that the Woodsman being a lantern-bearer is a fairly recent development - they might have had their own separate story. Some sort of pastoral novel about a family moving near the woods? But their narrative has been ‘hijacked’ by the Beast. 

Wirt and Greg ended up lost within the Unknown cause had they actually died in the lake that night - they would have become a Story in their town. I mean we have a moody lonely teenager and his adorable little brother disappearing/dying - on the night of Halloween - after last being seen in a graveyard - with the older brother’s last act on this earth being to hand his crush a cassette of his love poetry. Can you imagine what sort of Urban Legenda you can grow from those seeds?

But as they were not yet dead, and not a Story yet… so they were technically an Unknown story. Between the borders of life and death from a human perspective because they were about to die, and from a Story perspective because they were just about to be born.

And the ending sequence, with the little vignettes showing where all the characters from all the episodes ended up. I think that’s almost like Wirt and Greg back in the world of the living and the real - being able to create happy endings for all of those stories they've met. That’s how the Woodsman’s daughter ended up being alive all along - it was less that the Woodsman's whole tragedy was a wacky misunderstanding all along. But it became so as a gift of thanks by their new storytellers - Wirt and Greg.

Because if dreams can't come true, than why not pretend?

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Together Again’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 3)

Airdate: May 20, 2021

Story by: Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, Christina Catucci, Jesse Moynihan, Adam Muto

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Maya Petersen, Serena Wu

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

Across Adventure Time’s ten season run, the show explored a bevy of “mature” themes and story ideas—topics, like love, sexuality, depression, and grieving. The show also touched upon death, but the emphasis was usually placed on the emotional toll of a loved one dying, not really what happens when you die. We knew there were Dead Worlds and Death. We knew that there was reincarnation. But how does it all fit together? What does it mean? How does it work?

With “Together Again,” we finally have many of the answers.

This special opens with a marvelous fake-out episode simply called “Finn & Jake,” that sees the two steal a magical cartoon of 50-flavor ice cream before rescuing Turtle Princess and LSP from the clutches of the villainous Ice King. This is all deliberately anachronistic and over the top. Ice King is back to his season one ways, Finn has both arms, and he is still wielding his golden sword that he lost in season two’s “The Real You.” There’s lolrandom dialogue and silly monsters; it’s like a parody of seasons 1-2. But then, this adventure starts to get all wonky, and in time Finn realizes that he is in a some sort of trance or illusion: one that ends with Jake being buried in the ground. Suddenly, Finn awakens from his reverie. He’s an old man. And he’s dead. We’re then presented with a new title card that lets us know the episode is actually called “Finn & Jake Are Dead.”

Holy Glob! They actually went there.

Turns out Jake died years before Finn, so naturally Finn is super excited to see his best bud. But something’s wrong—he cannot find Jake!! They planned to spend eternity together. But all that Finn can find is his very own psychopomp, Mr. Fox (voiced by Tom Herpich, whose purposefully stilted line readings are the epitome of delightful). Finn rightfully assumes that Jake is in a different Dead World, and so, being the ball of spunk and energy that he is, he demands to meet with Death, only to discover that there’s a New Death in town (voiced by Chris Fleming). The episode eventually explains that New Death was the son of Death and Life, and after New Death killed his father, he became the sovereign of the afterlife. New Death hates his job and decides to just blow up all the Dead Worlds so he doesn’t have to deal with it all. (I won’t get too much into the details here, because there would be a lot of story to parse out.)

Finn soon learns that Jake has reached nirvana in the 50th Dead World, where there is nothing but peace and serenity. Finn nevertheless tracks down Jake, pulls him from paradise, but in doing so, accidentally lets New Death in, who promptly obliterates Elysium, sending all the enlightened souls—including those from different levels of the afterlife—to the 1st Dead World. This gronks up the afterlife, temporarily halting the reincarnation process.

Well, Finn and Jake are rightfully ticked, and so they haunt the material plane looking for Princess Bubblegum. She’s not home (more on that later), but Peppermint Butler is! After Ghost Finn and Ghost Jake explain the situation, Peppermint Butler tells them what to do: They need to find Life and explain the situation. The duo manage just that, and Life is rightfully angry that her kid has stopped the transmigration of souls. After Life gives Finn a McGuffin sword that can hurt Death, Finn and Jake return to his abode. A brawl ensues wherein we learn that New Death has been possessed… by none other than that spirit of the Lich.

That’s right, it’s the Lich! He’s back, and boy is he evil.

The Lich explains that by possessing Death, he can destroy the afterlife, thereby destroying a key aspect of reality. Naturally, Finn and Jake are not cool with this, and they engage in combat. After Mr. Fox grabs the McGuffin sword and uses it to annihilate the Lich and New Death, he is proclaimed the New New Death and sets everything right. Finn is slated to be reincarnated, and Jake is slated to return to the 50th Dead World where he and Finn will one day be reunited. As Finn is pulled into the wheel of souls, Jake suddenly decides to go back with Finn, too, “Just for fun.” The episode ends with a card letting us know that the episode is neither called “Finn & Jake” nor “Finn & Jake Are Dead.” Instead, it is “Finn and Jake Are Together Again.”

As they say, “And there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.”

If you were to tell me several years ago that the last episode to star Finn and Jake would revolve around them dying, I think I would’ve been upset. Not simply sad, but rather frustrated because “they all died” can feel like a cheap ending. But with “Together Again,” it all works. And a large reason that it works is because the show goes all in with their ideas. Finn and Jake don’t magically leap back into their old life (no, no, they very much do bite the dust). Instead, the special emphasizes the cyclical nature of life through the transmigration of souls. The episode ends with a beautiful scene of Finn and Jake, bound together as soul-brothers, being reborn into a new, mysterious (possibly Ooo 1000+?) world. It’s both aesthetically and emotionally pleasing; it doesn’t feel off the way over finales might. This is right. This is the way life works. “Round and round as nature goes,” and all that jazz.

I loved the series explanation of how death works. It seems that souls land in a specific Dead World, where they ‘marinate’ for a bit, presumably being rewarded or punished based on their life in our meat reality. After a time, they are then reborn. This process repeats, with each soul reaching higher and higher levels of enlightenment until they hit nirvana, which is the 50th Dead World. So in a sense, Adventure Time has a roughly Buddhist cosmology with a dash of Greco-Roman mythos thrown in for flavor. (As to what happens after a soul stays in the 50th Dead World for a long period is anyone’s guess, but I’d speculate that when all the souls in the multiverse have been purified and land in the 50th Dead World, they will all collapse into one another and form one perfect Monad. Perhaps this is the sphere of perfection that the beings who merged into Matthew thought they were connecting to? Who knows! It’s anyone’s guess!) I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see who Death, Prismo, Life, etc.’s boss was, but perhaps that’s a mystery better left up to the imagination!

One minor thing that I loved about this special was the number of characters who made cameos as well as all the callbacks that were made to previous episodes. Regarding the former: Finn and Jake’s canine family show up (including the oft-forgotten Jermaine!), as do Tree Trunks and her myriad husbands. Tiffany plays a major role in all these shenanigans as a “death cop” of all things. There is a delightful rogues gallery stuck in the 1st Dead World (including, among others, Maja, Sharon from “The Gut Grinder,” and Wyatt). In the 50th we find Ghost Princess and Clarence happily at peace next to Booshy, the weird spirit mentioned in the Pen Ward classic “High Strangeness.” As far as callbacks go, perhaps my favorite is the clap (from “James Baxter the Horse”) that Jake taught to Finn in case they ever do get separated in the afterlife. And of course, there are myriad references made to “Death in Bloom,” the episode that planted the seed for what this would grow into.

Going into the special suspecting that it would involve Death, I was curious how they were going to handle Miguel Ferrer’s character. (In case a reader is not aware, Ferrer played Death in episodes like “Death in Bloom” and “Betty,” but he sadly passed away a few years ago). The producers’ choice to feature him in a non-speaking cameo—despite playing a relatively significant role in the story—was wise; I’m not sure if I can articulate the exact reasons, but something about his role felt appropriate and not gross, as some post-mortem memorials can be. Speaking of which, the wonderful, lovely Polly Lou Livingston was featured for the last time in this episode as Tree Trunks, happily in heaven with her literal harem of husbands. It was funny, it really was, and I’m sure that Polly Lou would’ve gotten a kick out of seeing it on screen. (Also, this is a pro-Tree Trunks safe space. Any Tree Trunks haters will be chucked into the 1st Dead World with Wyatt.)

The biggest mystery in this whole thing, for me at least, is the question of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Several years ago, I wrote an essay about what could’ve happened to them in the Ooo 1000+ universe. I speculated that they peaced out and left Ooo behind. In this special, neither Bubblegum nor Marceline are to be found in the Candy Kingdom—Peppermint Butler seems to be the one in charge, given that he is now wearing Bubblegum’s crown. Likewise, the duo aren’t anywhere in the Dead Worlds either. Maybe the two of them skipped town and got a duplex in the Nightosphere? Who knows… I just want my favorite gals to be OK!

All things considered, “Together Again” was a marvel: An episode that managed to feel like a series finale even more than “Come Along with Me” already did without taking away from the series itself. An episode that managed to make the idea of dying funny. An episode that brought back the Lich in a way that wasn’t forced. An episode that made Mr. Fox the New New Death. An episode that gave us a beautiful ending to Finn and Jake’s story… as well as the beautiful beginning to a new one. I said it on Twitter, and I’ll say it again here: “Together Again” was the end of a sentence in a book with infinite pages. Truly, the fun will never end.

Mushroom War evidence: Everything takes place in the Dead Worlds, so not really. Perhaps a more eagle-eyed viewer can inform us...

Final Grade: That’s right, I’m gonna do it...

Post-script, I actually messaged Jesse Moynihan to ask about his writing credit. He told me that it was for an unused story idea that he had developed. I’m not certain, but I’ll bet it was a part of the cancelled TV movie they were trying to make during season 5, since that would’ve seen Finn and Orgalorg journey to the various Dead Worlds.

[thebrownssociety]

Hi, so I was wondering about the toons getting an education. You said that they didn't know how to read or write at the begining. First of all, when did they learn to read and write? And second of all, when they started learning those things, how did they do it? Did all of the toons go to school, you know, like kids do? Did they have classes and classmates, different subjects, different teachers? Or did they have private tutours?

So, first things first, thank you Ana for giving me one of my most complicated asks yet! That's why it's taken me so long to answer, I need to first of all sort through the strands of my brain in order to find the answer, and then translate it so it can be understood by normal people.

This headcanon is LONG, I hope you lot enjoy.

the majority of the toons [about 90 percent] are NOT created with the ability to read and write. In the olden days it was generally assumed that they didn't have the ability to learn either.

The other ten percent DID. They tended to be toons that were created to be doctors, lawyers or other professions that need the ability to read and write. Or members of royalty because the creators made the decision that royals would have been taught to read and write and so incorporated that into there designs. This is why Porky Pig is unusual, because he has the ability read and write, but he's not royalty and he doesn't have an official profession. Technically Porky is an anomality, it just happens that his anomality has helped him more than hindered him.

Moving onto the villains, it tends to follow the same rules as above. Grimhilde [wicked stepmother] has the ability to read and write because the creators assumed that as the now queen she had to be a princess before, therefore fit the rules.

Maleficent however, couldn't read or write [much to her frustration] because she was a villainous fairy and although she was [I think?] royalty of some sort within the fairy world the creators decided she didn't need the ability.

You might be getting an idea of the timeline from the movies I mentioned. I headcanon that the toon began campaigning to get an education during the 60's. They did this largely via peaceful means [mainly because one thing that has always been acknowledged by humans is that Toons are quite powerful and they aren't to keen to annoy them massively. The toons for their part don't want to cause massive distress to humans - they want to make them laugh! - so it actually works to a degree. During the 60's though the Toons decided something needed to be done.

The directors and other higher-ups had been promising to change the rights for the last decade and it hadn't happened. In 1965 the Toons decided enough was enough, they would start peacefully protesting. They adhered to the riles of there contracts to the letter. The LT's contract for instance says they have to arrive at least five minutes before filming starts, so they arrived five minutes before filming started when previously they'd been arriving half an hour so the director could run through everything with them.

They also left straight after seeing as there contract said they were free to go after the filming ended.

The LT's were also contracted to be available should WB ask them to do anything like help in the kitchens, but they only gave to do that for a set amount of hours each week. They worked those hours to the letter and went straight after. A few of the more devious toons even reasoned the contract just says they have to show up, not do any work, so they didn't. At first the studio got round that by asking toons who they knew would do the work properly, but it didn't take the toons long to figure out that was happening and then the 'good' toons wondered why they should bother when the 'bad' toons were being allowed to get off scot-free?

Eventually no toons was doing any work to help the general running of WB at all.

The above, I should mention, did not happen overnight. It took around 18 months, and it wasn't just happen at WB. Although Disney didn't have the exact same contract, they ran on the general principle of arriving at a set time and leaving straight after, so the toons just adhered to there contracted times.

18 months later and the companies decided enough was enough. They were having to go overtime to film the cartoons/movies now the toons weren't doing extra [previously unpaid] hours. [Which they did because the majority of them are perfectionist when it comes to the cartoons and wanted them to be the best they could be.] They were also having to pay the Human employees extra to cover the hours, often at extremely short notice. And unlike the toons they weren't contracted to come in just because the company wanted them to.

So anyway, the point of me detailing this is to explain the circumstances that meant that the companies were at there wits end and ended up petitioning the president to give the toons rights. Mickey Mouse also helped out enormously here as well. Walt Disney had died a few months earlier and Mickey was now running Disney. Which also meant control of the theme parks. Mickey decided that seeing as Toons clearly weren't valued enough to bother educating [despite being proven as intelligent] they shouldn't bother providing entertainment at the parks either.

The Disney toons also had it worked into there contracts that they had to make periodic appearances at Disney's parks [kinds like the people dressing up as the characters do now, except it's the actual toons] and are on a rota basis. Unless they're doing an events [like Halloween for the villains or valentines day for the princes and princesses] then each toon does at least one 12-hour day at Disney per year. It was this bit that Mickey was putting a stop to.

It had a real knock-on effect as, as well as the rides, most people went there hoping for a glimpse of there favourite toon. Without that...

As much of an absolute business-killer as this idea was, Mickey was more than happy to explain to anyone who would listen [read: most of the world news] exactly WHY he was doing it. With all this pressure it was really just a matter of time until the laws changed and the toons were able to gain an education. This was in 1968.

Now as fast as things work in Toontown, this was such a complicated area that it took a full 2 years for the various schools to be built, staffed and a curriculum drawn up (which followed the same basic guide as human education, but with some added stuff and some stuff taken out. It basically followed a 'would a toon actually need this in future life?' and went from there.

Here's were it gets slightly complicated. Because I mentioned before that toons age in a weird way. But the main thing is they go up and down in there age on a day to day basis until they are about 20. This makes educating them quite difficult, to say the least.

The studios solution to this was to bring in Human teachers to teach them at the grades human children would go through. So Kindergarten, Grade 1 ext. The thing was that a lot of the toons had learn some of th education already, like identifying shapes and coulors and things. And of course the ones who were professionals [Like Ludwig Von Drake and Gus Goose] already had a college-level of education, they just needed to prove it to the teachers.

The end result of this was that it wasn't unusual for a toon to be in a class for only a few months at a time while they did the work [don't forget, they only need 4 hours of sleep as well, so they could study for longer if they wanted]

It did eventually even up though and the toons ended up spending 9 months if the right class. For example, Porky Pig aced Kindergarten all the way up till 4th grade and then found he was struggling with 5th grade. This was a shock to him after spending 21 months in education [excluding holidays], to suddenly need help. Porky was forced to realise that he had centred a lot of his identity around being 'the one who can help his friends/family read.' and hadn't expanded his personality much beyond that.

So yeah, as an average most toons took about ten years to complete Kindergarten - end of high school.

Then a few of them took college courses, which lead to them getting degrees, which led to a couple of them getting teaching degrees. The majority of the LT's you see in Tiny Toons [excluding Foghorn, who decided he didn't want to be a teacher, and Elmer who took a undergraduate degree in law until 1992] did their teaching degrees from 1988 - 1992.

There's a couple of you who might had realised that they were filing Tiny Toons at the times and learning how to be parents at the same time. That was partly why they wanted to do it then, they realised that after Tiny Toons had finished the kid would need educating. Although the human teachers had been alright, they'd found it slightly difficult to cope and the LT's didn't want their kids to go through that particularly. Also, what's the point of building a school just to got rid of it after?

So here's the main schools: (After the toons gained teaching degrees)

Disney Elementary - Kindergarten- Grade 5.

Hanna-Barbara Middle School - Grade 6_8.

The Looniversity (the name stuck after the TV show) Grades 9-12.

So the Tiny Toons finished filming in 1992 and had it promptly explained to them that they would be attending school the next August [Tiny Toons were created in 1987, so were 6 by the end of filming.]

Toons don't do pre-school because there doesn't seem to be any point. Loads of Toons have coped without preschool for decades now, why would they start now?

So the TT's started Kindergarten at Disney Kindergarten, run by Snow White and helped out by Cinderella and Fairy Godmother. Kindergarten is the only school year where the toons have to do an entire year in it, the logic being they'll have longer to get adjusted to school if they're there for a year as opposed to three months.

Then it was decided which was the toon would go. Would they move upwards into Disney Elementary school, run by the Three Good Fairies? Or would they be taught by human professors? Or - the final option - they could be privately educated. [It's mainly royalty or the children of famous toons like Micky and Minnie that go down this option. The TT's were unusual in that all the LT's opted to send there kids to Disney Elementary with the hope it would help them make friends with other toons outside the LT bubble. Whether it did or not remains up for debate.

Anyway, they then go to Hanna-Barbera Middle School, which is then followed by the Looniversity. Now, despite what was shown in Tiny Toons, The Looniversity does not focus solely on Toon Physics and the like, the kids have to study the curriculum. They have options to take Toon Physics class if they wanted to, but they don't have to.

The Toons technically don't HAVE to finish High School, but they're strongly encouraged to. College is another matter, it's quite hard so only Toons who the adults know will stand a chance of passing are encouraged to do it.

Toontown University focuses primarily on The Performing Arts and Toon Physics. As well as those subjects, it offers Art, Physical Education, separate courses of Dance, Drama and Music and LAMDA.

If a Toon wants to study the likes of Maths, English and Science they can either be privately educated [A lot of the adult toons have ridiculous amounts of money due to there cartoons and the fact that until the 50's Toontown didn't exist and all there expenses were being covered by there respective directors/studios] or they could join one of the smaller colleges that specialised in what they want to do.

Push comes to shove, they find a Adult toon [over the actual age of 25] with a degree and try to mentor under them. This happens a lot.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-Honorable Mentions

And now. 

What is hands down.

The Best.

Animated series.

In the 2010s.

Is…

Going to be revealed tomorrow because I'm a piece of s**t (I’ll change the title when enough people fall for it). For now, here are some quick honorable mentions that aren't bad, but just not as good as the shows I picked...in my opinion, at least.

Craig of the Creek (2018-)-From what I've seen from season one, this show is pretty charming. It understands the pure imagination that comes from being a kid and has moments when these characters are more human than cartoons. But it also has the same energy as a Beach City episode in Steven Universe, and as we discussed, not everybody is going to be into that. Plus, I haven't caught up past season one (due to just not having the time), so it wouldn't be fair to claim it's one of the best when I haven't seen how seasons two and three hold. I've heard from other people that it's good, so I'll be willing to take their word for it. And maybe you should too.

Milo Murphy's Law (2016-2019)-I've seen a handful of episodes of this show, but from what I saw, I'd say it's worth watching further. The idea of this kid, who's cursed to literally have the worst life ever, deciding to have an optimistic outlook of the hand he's been dealt is pretty admirable. Plus, Weird Al Yankovic voices the main character. I can't physically hate it. Although the ginormous issue that Milo Murphy's Law has is that it relies too much on Phineas and Ferb's recognizability. I get that both shows were created by the same people, and I'd be more than fine if there were just a few shout outs and references. But the creators decided to force one of the characters in Phineas and Ferb into Milo's Murphy's Law, making it sort of a spin-off series on top of being its own separate thing. Meaning that you don't have to watch Phineas and Ferb beforehand, but you do need to know who these characters are going in. And if you're wondering how that paradoxical concept works...I couldn't tell you. I haven't seen the show in its entirety, and from what I have seen, it's at least good enough for an honorable mention.

The Avengers: Earth Mightiest Heroes (2010-2013)-There's nothing wrong with this series. The designs are great, the representation of these iconic characters is even better, and the level of quality is on par with the Marvel Cinematic Universe...I just always forget that this show exists. No offense to the series, but I just prefer shows that I'll remember instead of shows that I'll forget in another ten years.

Young Justice (2010-)-And before you start making the audacious claim that I'm a DC fanboy, let it be clear that Young Justice is an honorable mention for similar reasons. I love the character designs, and I think the representation is on point. Plus, while it does not have MCU levels of quality, Young Justice matches up with the good DC movies. It's just forgettable...and also because I never got the chance to watch the third season yet. Instead, I wasted my limited time with an HBOmax subscription on watching Doom Patrol, Harley Quinn, and my favorite Doctor Who episodes. Don't judge me!

Harley Quinn (2019-)-And seeing how I mentioned it, Harley Quinn is a fantastic show with perfect satire. And like some of the best satirical writings, this show has a deep understanding of the source material that it's making fun of while still providing an excellent story at the same time. However, most jokes die quick, and the animation is just flat out garbage at times. I recommend it, but keep in mind that there's a reason why it's just an honorable mention.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018-2020)-I know I kind of trashed it with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) review, but the truth is that I really love this show. Or, at least, I want to love this show. Because there is something amazing and worthwhile that’s hidden under a gigantic pile of poor planning and network meddling. I plan to make a full review for it in the future, so I'll save my thoughts for when that comes. For now, just know that it's something worthwhile if you're the right person.

Amphibia (2019-)-Aaaaaaand it's the same thing here. There's a lot that I like about it, but the stuff I don't makes it hard to enjoy. I'll also do a full review on this one in the future, so you're just going to have to wait...again.

Tangled: The Animated Series (2017-2020)-Another show that I really liked and even considered putting on the list. Even wrote a review and everything. But looking back, the parts that it did wrong highly outweighed what it does right, and honestly, it was a toss-up between this and Star V.S. the Forces of Evil for what took twentieth place. I ultimately went with Star V.S. because at least it had villains that were actually intriguing and terrifying characters. Unlike a specific antagonist with blue hair who was so idiotic and insane that I honestly would have felt nothing if they died in the end...I know that I just made a ton of enemies with that statement, but I don't give a s**t. And if you're nice, I might rewrite my review so I can accurately explain why this series is a tad bit overrated.

The Looney Tunes Show (2011-2014)-... I liked it...other people didn't, but I liked it.

Hilda (2018-)-Because I haven't seen season two yet. That's why. And from what I've seen in season one, this show is incredibly charming, beautifully imaginative, and is absolutely something I would show to my children if I ever have any. Maybe it forces in drama when it doesn't need to, but overall, you can better believe that this would have made the list if I saw season two before I started ranking shows.

And those are my honorable mentions. I’ll see you tomorrow for the actual unveiling of the number one spot. And for the fandoms that I ticked off...be patient.

(Also, let this be a lesson to read the tags before clicking 'Keep Reading.' Unless that's what you did, in which case, BOY, do I have egg on my face.

[aion-rsa]

Cruella 2: How to Make the Villain Evil Enough to Kill Puppies

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Cruella was a vibrant, funny, and raucous ride which saw scrappy young seamstress and designer Estella go head to head with snooty fashion high priestess, and all round bad person, The Baroness in a funky, punky, spiky take on the protege outdoing the mentor trope. Emma Stone and Emma Thompson fizz and spark as the warring fashionistas, the outfits are fabulous, and the soundtrack is banging.

Oh yeah, and at some point in the future, the plucky, if slightly deranged, upstart you’ve been rooting for the whole time is going to become a puppy murderer. But shhhh, try not to think about that too much.

While Cruella was generally well received, there’s a definite disconnect between the Cruella de Vil we get at the end of the movie and the fur-crazed demon we meet in 101 Dalmatians, and now that news has arrived that Disney is already working on a Cruella 2, consideration is no doubt being put into how that gap might be bridged.

The key could be in flipping our understanding of exactly who, or indeed what, Cruella is.

The short version. What if 101 Dalmatians-Cruella isn’t actually the designer formerly known as Estella at all? What if someone else were to take on the Cruella brand? Bear with us and we’ll show our working.

The age disparity

Though we have at least one more movie before we get into 101 Dalmatians territory, Emma Stone’s Cruella is way too young. 

At the end of Cruella, we see in a mid-credits scene that Cruella has sent a Dalmatian puppy to her school friend Anita (Kirby Howell-Baptiste) and one to the Baroness’ former lawyer Roger (Kayvan Novak). These dogs, we are told, are Pongo and Perdita, and we assume they are the two that will meet when they are grown, and like their owners, fall in love. 

Estella was 12 in 1964, and we understand that the main events of Cruella begin 10 years later, making grown up Estella 22 when her adult adventures begin. Even if the movie takes place over a number of years, the character is almost certainly still in her early 20s by the time the film ends.

Dalmatians on average live for 10-13 years. So even if Pongo and Perdita are relatively mature dogs when they have their litter, 101 Dalmatians Cruella is only going to be in her 30s—a lot younger than the de Vil we are used to in animation. And if nothing else, Emma Stone is currently 32 and isn’t suddenly going to be in her 40s or 50s by the time Cruella 2 begins filming.

Now, okay, Disney is allowed to change the ages of its heroes and villains if it wishes, but it feels like a stretch to make her that much younger if the studio is trying to please fans of the animated cartoon or, indeed, the previous live-action version where Glenn Close was in her late 40s when she took on the role for the 1996 film.

The feel bad factor

While pure villain origin stories can certainly work, Disney tends to opt for a retelling which suggests the villain is not as bad as you think they are. Maleficent is the most obvious recent example which paints Sleeping Beauty’s bad fairy as a wronged woman who regrets her decision to curse Aurora and who ultimately saves her.  Similarly,The Wizard Of Oz retelling musical, Wicked, gives the Wicked Witch of the West a sympathetic backstory, opting for the ‘she was nice all along, it was just propaganda’ approach. It even gives the character a happy ending.

It’s hard to see how this would actually work in Cruella’s case. Although Estella’s mum was (sort of) killed by Dalmatians, the logic that this would make her a puppy killer doesn’t land. Not to mention the fact that 1. Estella has a beloved dog of her own, and 2. Ultimately gets on just fine with the Baroness’ Dalmatians.

So unless the plan is to retell 101 Dalmatians so that Cruella’s puppy killing intentions are a misunderstanding or similar (which is really going to take the joy out of a 101 Dalmatians remake) then one other option would be to go ‘full Joker.’

Yep, beaten down by the Thatcherite years in Britain, Cruella loses her job and becomes depressed and disenfranchised. With inadequate access to mental health care and railing against the inequalities of the world, she decides to take matters into her own hands and… make herself a really fancy coat.

We joke. But a Cruella 2 in which our loveable (anti-)hero ACTUALLY becomes a full on monster sounds, well, it sounds about as depressing as Joker was. Which is not going to be a good look for Disney.

Who is Cruella, really…?

There’s another option. Cruella is the name embraced by Estella when she launches her fashion label. Cruella becomes a mysterious icon—no one really knows who she is. And when it appears that the Baroness has thrown poor Estella to her death, Cruella truly comes into her own, thanks to the inheritance her dear friend Estella has left to her. RIP Estella, long live Cruella…

If Estella can become Cruella—an entirely constructed persona—what’s to say someone else couldn’t steal that persona? Someone like the Baroness, perhaps?

Say yes to the Baroness

At the end of the movie, Cruella has framed the Baroness for the murder of Estella (even though she’s not dead) as retribution for the actual murder of Estella’s adoptive mother. The Baroness is Estella’s biological mother, but she gave the child up at birth with the intent that Estella be killed. While Cruella and her mother the Baroness have a great deal in common—they are both brilliant, ostentatious, a little bit ruthless, quick-witted and of course, fabulous—the one major thing they do not have in common is that the Baroness is a murderer.

She has murdered at least one person but the implication in the film is that it’s probably significantly more, and indeed she even attempts to kill Cruella, her own daughter. Twice. Much as Cruella fears that she’s like her birth mother, in this respect she is not—the mother that brought her up and the wonderful friends she’s made, Jasper, Horace, and Artie, have kept her on the straight(-ish) and narrow(-ish).

The Baroness is in prison but has vowed her revenge. The Baroness knows Cruella’s true identity. The Baroness is the only other designer anywhere near as good as Cruella. And it is entirely easy to believe that the Baroness would have it in her to kill a puppy or 10.

If ‘Cruella’ is a brand as much as an identity, it would make sense for Cruella 2 to see the Baroness escape prison and somehow steal Cruella’s identity as well as Hell Hall, perhaps discrediting Estella’s alter-ego along the way. 

Unlike our current Cruella, she would be a formidable villain for a 101 Dalmatians remake, particularly if she emerges from prison half-crazed and bent on revenge. Then we can keep our cool, rebel, punk fashionista Cruella and have our deranged dog-bother to boot.

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Cruella is out now in cinemas and available to stream with a premium on Disney+

The post Cruella 2: How to Make the Villain Evil Enough to Kill Puppies appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[just-honey-dewd]

What medium best expresses Sonic’s character?

Right, so this is a bit of a detour from the typical Hazbin Hotel posts I’ve been making, but I really did a heck-ton of work to come up with this. Then again, I type overly long paragraphs as a hobby, so jokes on anyone who thinks I don’t do this for fun... but then again... jokes on me for making the time to type Hamilton-esque essays on fictional characters ._.

Okay enough with tangents, this is an essay dedicated to answering what medium -- songs, scenes, cartoons, maybe even a comic issue -- best encompasses Sonic’s character. Take in mind, throughout the 29-almost-30 years of Sonic, there have been many iterations and takes on the character that either differentiate on a minor level, or to the point that some Sonics when compared seem to be starkly different characters altogether, so this is purely what I feel is the best take on Sonic’s character. For my sake, I’ve sworn off including material that require a long-winding read through some mediocre storylines -- nothing personal, Archie Comics. I won’t be covering Archie Comics because I’ve yet to finish reading all 200+ comic issues because that’s not humanly possible for me. If I ever manage to though, I might make a post about Archie Comics in some way. For now, here’s my personal essay on “What medium best expresses Sonic’s character”

Starting off with shows...

Sonic SatAM (1993) and Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) are products of their time, and I never got to watch them when I was young, so I hold no sentimental nostalgia. Sonic SatAM seems in-line with Archie Comics, with the Freedom Fighters plotline and the infamous Sonic mohawk with lasted for a significant amount of issues. Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was pretty comical and lighthearted in comparison. Both were voiced by Jaleel White, had the same artstyle, and established Sonic’s character in vastly different tones. It’s rather outdated as Sonic has lived past the 90s for 20 years, where he got revised and reinvented to suit the decades. So both characterizations are simply inapplicable to Sonic’s character.

2003′s Sonic X worked off of the newly reinvented Sonic and paved way for Sonic’s personality for the following years, but I do have critique over the show, and their execution of Sonic’s character.  Though they did provide Sonic's "constant desire to run", he lacked soul and the over-the- top nature of his character. Sonic throughout this show displayed a rather hollow connection with his relationships, was as distant and aloof as Knuckles for seemingly no reason, lacked much depth and barely developed, and was overall, very poor with communicating his thoughts and actions -- which ultimately led to a number of plot lines where his friends and/or authorities saw his intentions as malicious or even evil. Sonic is hyperactive and free-spirited -- something this show doesn't fail to display -- but Sonic lacked his heart. Where was that desire to hang out with his friends? Where was the underlying love and compassion he'd constantly display in and out of battle? Where were his cheesy yet well-meaning impromptu speeches? These aspects of Sonic were sorely lacking and missed when I watched through this series which is why I believe this anime didn’t really express Sonic's character.

Sonic Boom...

...is a lighthearted, slapstick sitcom-based comedy. Very episodic, which is aight, but the the show’s execution as a whole was mediocre-borderline-bad. It doesn't have much elements inherently Sonic-esque -- it's a product of the Modern era, which at this point, doesn’t seem to have good connotations. No worthwhile soundtrack, stunted animation and movement, embarrassingly heavy reliance on overused archetypes/stereotypes at the expense of the characters, repetitive plots that get the THICC layer of frosted sarcasm and self-awareness. Sonic had attitude sure, there was a clear level of disinterest and cynicism to this portrayal -- it was as though protecting people felt like a burden and chore to him. It doesn’t help that this feeling is justified as Eggman’s been reduced to a pathetic Saturday Morning villain with lesser competency in being a world threat, and much rather a constant nuisance to Sonic’s town than anything else. Subjectively speaking, this show's clearly not for me -- even when I was in the supposed age range at the time. Objectively, this Saturday morning cartoon should've been branded as it is, rather than a Sonic cartoon because the identity of Sonic the Hedgehog definitely got skewed and misconstrued by the eyes of newcomers whose first exposure to Sonic the Hedgehog character was this. Ironically, due to this show, I subsequently furthered my distance from the franchise at that age, and got into it much, much later in life.

Now moving onto the songs...

Initially, I considered “Escape from the City”, “Live and Learn", "His World" and "Fist Bump" as good contenders in defining who Sonic is. But through some vigorous looping of those songs, I've pinpointed what they've to offer in showing Sonic's character, and due to my consistent nature of typing overly long arguments about anything I find interesting, I'll be putting each song into its own paragraph -- picking out any significant verses, and explaining why I think each song subconsciously contributed to my thought process that they would be the best take on his character. Afterwards, I’ll finish with my conclusion. (I personally suggest you go listen to each song as you read each paragraph)

"Escape from the City" is a timeless bop, and I will play it in the car whenever I'm actively escaping from authorities in my city. What this song does is use rhythmic beats and repetitive bass line to emulate the constant adrenaline and excitement Sonic feels when he's moving around, it embodies his carefree nature and spontaneity to a T. It succeeds in portraying the energetic, upbeat aspect of his personality as the song itself contrasts the very dangerous implication of being chased down by the government for a crime you didn't commit. Sonic doesn't get enough credit for the amount of cheerful optimism he has -- always moving with a spring in his step, or steps considering the speed part. He brushes off the most life-threatening dangers he has to face and takes it all in with that well known Sonic™ grin. It also shares a constant message of "Live and Learn" (which the song of the same title) -- this is a rather succinct version of Sonic's mantra. The song is very Sonic, but only manages to show his surface level personality. Kinda like Sonic X's theme song "Gotta Go Fast" but it's much less in your face about Sonic's whole shtick. Another thing to note is the element of "escape" is a constant in both "Escape from the City" and "Endless Possibility", which I'll get further into later. Given that this song was more focused on the primary objective of ‘City Escape’ the game level rather than exploring Sonic’s fundamental character, it's very cool how it just so happened to tie in well with him...

"Live and Learn" was more of a Sonic and Shadow song, so I already kinda figured it wouldn't manage to explore Sonic's character much. The first verse and chorus offers as much for Sonic's character as Shadow's oh-so few lines of verse 2 does. Again, the song only manages to provide Sonic's surface level personality. Reason it came up in my mind was because of the words 'Live and Learn'. It's a very motivational and inspiring line -- what got me thinking about Sonic’s character in the first place. It's an unspoken rule for him to take life headfirst and live in the moment, and legit the second issue of the IDW's comics reiterates this by Amy expressing that this free-spirited approach to life is what essentially makes her love him.

"Fist Bump" was like my first exposure to Sonic main theme songs -- and I'm still into listening to the song. I realize the lyrics are pretty generic, but it does reflect the general focus of Sonic character very well -- which may further explain why Modern Sonic is much less... developed, to say the least. What the lyrics essentially hone in on are Sonic's loyalty to his friends and his.... unyielding determination? Honestly, a very generic take for a main theme, and it reflects on the quality of the game if even the music lacked much personality compared to any heroic video game character theme song. Sonic had more personality to offer in his silent protagonist games, compared to this. This issue with Sonic's character barrels down to Modern Sonic retaining his previous counterpart's cheesy insistence to spout improvised speeches and embrace the power of friendship -- though it's definitely gotten out of hand in this case. We need balance.

Making Sonic more family-friendly ≠ Dumbing down what nuance or individuality there was to his character and making him every other generic hero protagonist who quips for 90% of his dialogues.

Finally, "His World", but I'll do Crush 40 and Zebrahead's separately, sort of. Crush 40 explicitly tells Sonic's character how it is -- his strict moral code, good intuition, confidence in himself, "seize the day" mentality, straightforward disposition, stubborn determination, love for his friends, and fearless risk-taking -- it's pretty lengthy but it does a good job as Sonic's theme and manages to state what it's like in his world. However, the song faces eerily similar issues to "Fist Bump" with it's lack of creative interpretation with its lyrics, and compared to "Escape from the City", it seems more formal and serious in tone which is reflective of their portrayal of Sonic. 

I interpret Sonic as a multifaceted character, but when listing out all those traits in the verses and chorus in the song’s tone and format melody-and-lyric-wise, the song makes it appear as though Sonic is strictly a pillar of justice and represents the strong, untouchable hero persona -- which I find to be a detrimental writing aspect for his character. It writes off his personality as second priority to the reputation that would have receded him through the years of defeating Eggman and saving the world -- and subsequently, paints his character in a rather dulled and overly no-nonsense light.  Not saying I don't want Sonic to be serious at certain points, but I think with this song, and this game as a whole, there was some truth to the issue of Sonic '06 being a little too serious. While these characters were well-written in this game e̶x̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶r̶d̶ ̶p̶o̶i̶n̶t, I've had personal issues tied to em: 

Shadow coming back was quite risky and foolhardy for his character journey and I believe if it weren't for the great execution for his storyline in '06, his appearance would've been viewed as fanservice -- which is what he's sadly been reduced to now

Silver's character concept as a whole was pretty dark and serious, which again isn’t a bad thing, but with the plot resulting in him seeing Sonic as the Iblis Trigger, it limited Sonic's ability to play up his easy-going, carefree nature since he couldn’t just brush off that accusation with offhanded remarks as that would’ve risked Sonic coming off as insensitive and unsympathetic at that moment. Which is not what the writers want their characters to go.

Elise. There, I said it. 

On top of it all, "His World" is pretty slow-going for Sonic’s theme, which I could try justifying by saying it might’ve been a representation of significant growth to Sonic's character -- perhaps the journey managed to shape him into a man (hedgehog) who could spare a bit of time to contemplate his next course of action -- as this game definitely explored a major deviation from typical Sonic game story lines. But, even with that, I still really prefer Zebrahead's version.

Zebrahead's is vastly the same when telling Sonic's character how it is, but the instrumentals, pacing and speed is increased significantly that it definitely sounds more reminiscent of Sonic's musical style -- fast-paced rock and roll. But, I’ve yet to figure out the significance of the lyrics:

Especially when it follows right after "Never fear the fall" -- so you take the leap of faith, but also don't let yourself fall in the process? Pretty weird flow of words there, but maybe I’m just not getting it at all. Point is, what both songs hone in on is Sonic's intuitive sense of justice and a bit of his carefree nature -- since the lyrics from Zebrahead's specifically highlight on Sonic's "leap before looking" nature. What Zebrahead further hones in on is his adventurous and hyperactive qualities as verse 1 and the bridge show. It's a timeless song of anticipation and build-up with good execution, but it doesn't cover the main essentials in what makes Sonic Sonic.

Finally, reaching the song I've found best covers the basics and essentials to Sonic's character is...

Believe it or not, “Gotta go fast” encompasses the defining characteristics of a well-written Sonic -- the title itself is a testament to the his motto and is all things Sonic stands for. 

While this refers directly to the plot of the show itself, it manages to familiarize us with the speed and urgency crucial to Sonic’s character and--

Okay, clown time’s over, here’s the real winner.

Unleashed's main theme: "Endless Possibility" 

From the get-go, intro already separates itself from the other songs by being freeing and exciting, without being too carefree like "Escape from the City", too orchestral or urgent like "His World", and definitely more compelling lyric-wise compared to "Fist Bump". This tone is a constant throughout the song, and makes it seem like Sonic's the one directly singing -- the singer nailed it with the level of obnoxious and genuine tone to his voice. 

This song, like the rest of the other main themes, reflect the game itself. Unleashed is a race against time for Sonic to fight Dark Gaia before the Earth gets torn apart. But similar to the gameplay and form of story, the music is very fast-paced yet unburdening, with hints of inner contemplation, and darkness (or how I like to put it, edge).  The first verse already succeeds in getting into the bare bones of Sonic's character -- he runs, he can never stay still out because he knows that's not who he is, he's free-spirited and will run around the world out of his own volition, it's a form of escape and liberty to him -- and this is what ties into "Escape from the City”. This verse sums up the essential traits to Sonic better than any of the previous songs without letting one attribute overpower it. It refers to his three fundamental traits: that he's fast, adventurous and carefree.

The pre-chorus further expands from verse 1's establishments, by showing the deeper, inner turmoil that pass through Sonic's mind -- “How will I know when I get there? And how will I know when to leave?” -- these are the rare instances where Sonic is found in inner conflict with himself which came out of his simplistic philosophy rather than an external conflict or influence, and it's more of unspoken and nuanced as Sonic never usually calls himself into question for the way he lives. This showcases that he's capable of processing the long-term effects of living and moving around aimlessly -- constant adventure and freedom might eventually feel mundane, so he might eventually find the destination his heart feels is right for him, so what will he do when that period of his life unfolds, and will this period end the days of adventure and freedom? The possibilities are never-ending, so as always, he'll take everything in stride, and prepare for whatever hits him.

This is what the song's main theme is. Endless possibility. Potential and growth -- which reflects back to Sonic: mentally, physically and emotionally. Mentally, he's acknowledged that he's always growing and developing throughout his adventures -- as there's one thing that no one, not even Sonic can outrun, and that's change. "Endless Possibility" opens us up to the concept of ever-changing development for Sonic, and the possibility that he might eventually reach his unknown destination and end this long-running journey, while also implying that every journey that he goes through and ends -- whether it directly ties into the games or off-screen adventures -- will always lead with a new one. Unleashed encompasses this youthful feeling of change and vigor. Sonic is in his element and is going through a personal journey to save the world once again, but as always, he'll do it with enthusiasm and unbridled drive. 

Interestingly, Unleashed feels reminiscent of Sonic X's Sonic but done right. Both have the character mostly isolated from his friends for the majority of their respective stories, but where Sonic X forces Sonic to clean up on Isle Eggbot each episode, Unleashed puts him through a singular adventure that requires he takes care of the major issue at stake while the others are doing their respective jobs or living their own lives. Unleashed's Sonic even has a temporary companion which he clearly warms up to and befriends throughout the whole journey, whereas Sonic X shows Sonic actively dismissing his previous friends to sleep, travel, and adventure for the heck of it -- while they spent a majority of the first season trying to find the chaos emeralds without him. 

Sonic being isolated is usually due to situational happenstance rather than conscious preference. Sonic  isn't inherently solitary or aloof, it's just due to his ability to move from place to place with ease that he subsequently has to leave his friends behind to confront the source of the problem. It's not a part of his character that he plays lone wolf like those archetypal "cool characters", the nature of what he does and excels at leads him to fight front and center, even if it means doing it alone. Despite this, he still is the sentimental, over-the-top dork that believes in the power of friendship and will go to the ends of the Earth to protect his friends. Which is exactly what he does in Unleashed.

The bridge provides the hints of edge where Eggman and Sonic exchange dialogue in the song, very much referring to the events of Unleashed's intro battle between the two. Eggman essentially tells Sonic to give up as he's actually beaten him -- which Sonic replies that it's not over, that this is just another start to another journey. The lyrics aren't very subtle about what they're saying, but it does a good job in encompassing two key traits when Sonic responds to any threats -- his cheerful optimism and unyielding determination. He doesn't respond to danger with simply quips, he responds to it with a campy but genuine declaration of strength and courage. The cheesiness in his words are very prominent, but he says them with a straight face like he's announcing his battle cry and promise to do what it takes to save the world and protect the ones he love.

In short, "Endless Possibilty" manages to fully encompass the best iteration of Sonic, and humanizes him to the point that I can only really see this as the current best sum up of his character without any needed dialogue, animation, or prior context. This song could just be tied directly to Sonic's overall character outside of the game's plot, and I'd be fine.

[emberdragon240]

BFDI Done In Hermitcraft: Chapter 1: The Plank P1

(This is also on Wattpad if that’s your thing)

"I know, she was so scared over nothing! The bee wasn't even that big, and False was freaking out!"

"Really, Iskall?"

"Really, and yet she calls herself a badass."

"She is in a way, do you remember when she asked Bdubs if she was beautiful?"

Flashback to a week ago

"Bdubs, am I beautiful?"

"Umm, sorry, but no-"

*proceeds to get yeeted to the sun*

End of flashback

"Right, I remember that, and I still hate her!" Bdubs jumped into Grian and Iskall's conversation about how False was a complete asshole. She was so rotten, even Joe hated her, and that was very unusual for him to think of people.

"I swear, I'm gonna get revenge on her! I am honsetly so glad you guys are my friends, really!" Even though they didn't really know eachother, (almost) everyone was friends on the Hermitcraft island.

"You're my friend too, right, Mumbo?" Bdubs said as he grabbed Mumbo and started squeezing him with no mercy.

"Bdubs, stop!" Grian and Iskall yelled before there was a sickening crunch and their communicators buzzed with a death message.

*MumboJumbo was suffocated*

"Sorry about that," Bdubs said, clearly embarrassed at what happened. Mumbo eventually respawned in one of those respawn generators, only to get almost killed by Jevin pointing a sword at his chest.

"Hey! I just respawned!" Mumbo said, exasperated.

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame the stupid Tango here, it's his fault!" Jevin said as he kicked Tango in the face, making him let go as he flew into the ocean.

"Fine! I'll grab Cleo instead," Tango said before grabbing Cleo out of nowhere and yeeting her to Mumbo, which was a very close dodge.

"Yikes!" Mumbo said. She was also conveniently holding a sword, so it was a pretty close call. "What was that for!?" Mumbo asked.

"What? I'm just in the mood to hurt someone," Tango replied. He then found Keralis, which he kicked with absolutely no mercy. Keralis screamed his ass off as he flew, conveniently passing by Wels. He then landed on the ground face first in shallow water where Stress was doing something.

"Keralis! What are you doing there? There's a life to enjoy, so enjoy it!" Stress said in her cheering state. Keralis had a liking for TFC for some reason, so went to him and starting acting all lovingly. A little bit too lovingly, because TFC kicked him into the air as well.

"TFC, calm down," Joe said with papa bear mode set to low. "Kicking him that hard can have permanent side effects. He IS light-weight," Joe lectured as Keralis continued flying in the air once again and as he flew past Wels, not much happened, why am I mentioning this? Anyways, he eventually fell because of the laws of physics, and he fell right onto Zedaph, and as he got up, he noticed... blood. I think you can guess what happened from there. The scream was so loud it could be heard all over the island.

"Keralis is such a scaredy-cat," Cub complained. "He's so annoying. Scar, though, you're cool," Cub said to his friend and partner-in-crime-I mean, partner-in-business.

"So are you, Cub!" Scar complimented back. Meanwhile, Wels was still flying before crashing into a mountain at low speeds, so he didn't take too much damage from the crash. The weird thing though, was that Zedaph was just sitting there as if he took a nap with his eyes open. Wels shouldn't have been surprised, though, since he always acted as if he was on LSD.

"Zedaph! Wake up!" Wels shook Zedaph awake.

"What? Hi, Wels!" Zedaph said as he was jolted awake. Wels sighed before yeeting Zedaph behind him (seriously, why are the hermits constantly yeeting each other around?). Zedaph flew along, all in a excitement that you only feel when you're high until he fell onto Joe, barely surviving.

"Oh, hi Joe, my good old friend!" Zedaph greeted Joe tiredly and before passing out from his injuries. Meanwhile, Doc and Ren were sitting near Impulse with an angry glare. They still couldn't get over the whole Area 77 thing, so here we are.

"Ren! You're an absolute idiot!" Doc yelled at Ren. He did not get the reaction he was expecting though, because Ren's response was to slap him.

"Hey!" Doc yelled, surprised.

"Oh my god, your face feels so good to slap!" Ren said. He was not acting like himself today. He then went on a slapping spree. He was about to continue when Xisuma caught him in the act.

"Doc! Ren! Stop fighting!" Xisuma yelled at the two. "And Impulse, take a bath, you stink," X commented at Impulse who was just watching.

"Sorry," Impulse said.

"Isn't X bossy?" Tango asked Cub, who were both watching the scene.

"I know! He's like a bossy bot!" Cub tried to make a joke, but all he got were stares from Scar, Tango and Wels.

"Uh, you know, a bossy robot?" Cub tried to explain the joke which only got more awkward stares.

"Um, here's the thing; a robot that was built to be at it's bossiest," Cub tried to explain further which didn't help one bit, but everyone got tired of staring at him and decided to stare at the now setting sun. "I'd do anything to get away from him," Cub said. "Or False, or Keralis, or Impulse," then conveniently and suspiciously in time, out of some mysterious smoke, some kind of... creature? Came out of the smoke

"Well then, you're in luck!" The thing said, and it was obvious it was female. It seemed to be some kind of dragon hybrid, Ender Dragon maybe? And had a crop top with decked out armor on the bottom. She also had some kid of belt with fabric that would cover her private if she didn't already have pants on.

"Uh, how?" Cub asked. The girl who seemed to be in her 20

"They're creating the server of paradise, everyone," She continued. "It's called Dream Island. It's one square mile (2.5 kilometers for all you people outside of the US) of luxury. It has a 5 star hotel, a casino, six restaurants, robot servants, and the server's whitelisted, so the winner gets to chose who's allowed in, and who's not!" She described trying to sound all excited too hard.

"Ok, what does it cost?" Cub asked. If he couldn't pay it entirely, he might borrow some of his best friend's diamonds because that's what friends do! /s

"Not even a penny," The woman responded.

"Sounds like a deal! Me and my friend'll take it!" Cub answered excitedly.

"But what about about the rest of the people here? Don't they want it too?" The mysterious being asked.

"Well, I wouldn't give up that server for anything," Cub answered.

"Everyone here's thinking the same thing," she responded. "So you know what that means. We must settle this with a reality TV show- I mean, a contest."

Cue the intro

"So yeah," the mysterious woman who still hasn't given her name yet said, "whoever stays on this plank the longest wins."

"Go."

"Let's help each other," Stress said. She wouldn't let this contest affect her! Or at least she hoped so.

"Yeah!" Jevin agreed.

"Tango, wake up! What are you doing?" Ren asked Tango, who was clearly asleep for some reason.

"Uh oh!" Impulse said as he slipped off the bar, to which no one noticed.

"Get out of my way!" False said as she was pushing people into the pool of water underneath the plank with her sword. "I need my space!"

"Help me, Jevin!" Stress said as she was falling and close to becoming another one of False's victims. Being made of slime was pretty convenient in this situation though, as he was able to stretch and easily save her from the cold, murky waters of failure.

"Thanks!" Stress said.

"Let's form an alliance!" Mumbo said to the Architect team who all agreed with him, but it unfortunately fell over unwanted ears, as Bdubs heard over from the other side of the plank and was interested now.

"Did I hear an alliance is being formed? I've gotta join!" Bdubs said as rushed over, pushing Scar off the plank on the way.

"Can I be part-" was all Bdubs was able to say before they were all falling into the ocean.

"No." was the only thing Iskall said before they all fell into the water and had Dream Island out of their reach. While all of this was happening, Ren was still trying to wake up Tango.

"Tango, wake up!" Ren said while shaking him before he accidentally put him down too close to the plank and he started to fall. "Oops," but just then, Tango woke up and walked back up on the plank, pushing Ren off in the process.

"Ren! Don't ever-" Tango said before he realized what he just did. "Whoops,"

Final 6!

"Look, there's the evil False," Stress said to Jevin as she pointed at False. "She's still in,"

"Let's run her over!" Jevin suggested to False.

"Yeah!" She said, excitedly. This was only a harmless joke, she was gonna apologize later!

"Uh oh," Tango thought out loud as they started trampling over. The plan didn't work, however, and the two got kicked into the air by False.

"Hey, we're flying!" Jevin realized.

"You're right! Woohoo!" Stress confirmed, completely forgetting that what comes up, must come down.

"Uh-oh," Jevin remembered as they almost fell off the plank with TFC, but Stress managed to get a grip.

"Pull up," Jevin commanded Stress.

"I... can't!" Stress realized, getting ready for their fate. "Oh no! Tango? Zedaph? Help!" Stress cried for help. Eventually, Tango stepped on her hand, preventing it from falling any further.

"What is it?!" Tango asked, annoyed.

"You're stepping on my hand." Stress mentioned as Tango got off her foot.

"There, better now?" Tango asked.

"Yes, now pull us up." Stress said, but as Tango tried to pull the three up, he fell over and only had his feet on the plank now, the only part that still had a chance of getting the invite to Dream Island.

"Hold onto my other arm, TFC," Stress told him, who complied. Then the hugest dick on the planet towered over them as she started laughing in that cartoon villain sort of way.

"Ha, ha! I'm wearing non-slip shoes, so boo-hoo you weirdos!" False mocked them in her usual annoying way when Tango came up with an idea and kicked her over with one of his feet, but False grabbed onto Jevin to his extreme dislike before he came up with the idea to... lick her?

"Aaah, AAAHHH!" False screamed as she instinctively pulled away, but she instantly realized was a big mistake when she starting falling, falling, and eventually into failure.

"Nice work, Jevin! A job well done!" Stress complimented Jevin's great idea.

"TFC, let's swing!" Jevin said as they swinged back onto the plank, completely forgetting about Tango and Stress.

"Jevin, alliance, remember?" Stress reminded Jevin, who pulled Stress back up onto the plank.

"Stress! You're stepping on me!" Tango said.

"What?" Stress said before Tango fell. "Oops,"

Final 4!

TFC was the first to think and the quickest, as he pushed the unsuspecting Zedaph into the water, who seemed to be having another acid trip. He pushed a little too far, though, as he also fell into the dark, cold water. Now it was just Jevin and Stress left in the battle.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" They said in coordination. Stress chose paper, while Jevin chose scissors.

"Scissors beats paper, so I get to push you off!" Jevin announced, which surprised Stress.

"Wait, what!? I never agreed to that!" Stress said.

"Ok, here's the thing: when I win, I'll invite you to Dream Island." Jevin said, trying to make a deal with Stress.

"This still isn't fair, Jevin," Stress confronted him.

"Only one of us can will, after all," Jevin said while holding up

his middle finger instead of his pointer.

"Jevin, wrong finger." Stress reminded him.

"Whoops," Jevin said with an awkward chuckle. "But my point still stands."

"And that's where you're wrong," the mysterious woman popped out from a cloud of smoke once again. "You two both win!"

"We both get the invite?" Jevin asked.

"Not quite, you two actually get to choose teams for a more longer, larger competition for the invite to Dream Island."

[fullymechanized-consoomer]

40K factions and you

Space Marines:

Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below

8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually. 

edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike” 

Imperial Guard:

You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is. 

edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.

Eldar:

You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations

And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.

Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool. 

Dark Eldar

You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t- 

Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff  a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game. 

edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great. 

Orks

Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child  everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun. 

edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them

Necrons

You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.

Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!

Tau

You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian. 

Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise. 

Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.

Chaos

Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models’ spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and  everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?

Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once. 

Sisters of Battle

GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women. 

Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:

Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game

Tyranids

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.  

Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy. 

Grey Knights

HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.”  You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?

Custodes

You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.

Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army. 

Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does. 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 13 pt 1: Mokuba Finally Gets Stockholm Syndrome

So, I have today off work so lunchtime on a Thursday feels like a better time than ever to chime in on a 20 year old anime and say, uh this episode is nuts?

Like this whole arc has been somewhat tame compared to a lot of the stuff we’ve been dealing with in regards to Yugioh. Yeah, Tristan died, but like...Marik hasn’t murdered a hundred people lately so it’s been a pretty pleasant ride. And this was alllll part of Yugioh’s greater plan, Yugioh likes to do this, where it’s been overall a monster of the week Sat Morning cartoon type of affair, giving you a false sense of “I think I know what’s going on. I think I understand the logic of this show” before they start ripping the rugs out from under your feet with no other reason than to utterly confuse you.

And it’s like you just...you don’t expect this from a kid’s show.

And like don’t tell me you predicted this episode, guys, because it makes no freakin sense. I had to binge to the next episode just because I was like holding up all my paperwork of Seto Kaiba’s timeline and motioning at my brother “SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!!” Because y’all this did not...

This just did not.

And like I’m very calm as I write these posts, but as I was watching this episode, I kept pausing it, turning to Steve-O and saying “NO.” Of course all of that drama goes on in the second part of this episode. The first half is still that somewhat tame area where it’s definitely very weird but it’s not...it’s not unpredictably weird yet, youknow?

So, to start out, Noah has given up on trying to persuade any of the Kaibas to change. It is not a thing Kaibas do.

He decides to show off his skills as a master manipulator, by manipulating one of the most manipulated boys on this entire show. The only person more manipulated is Yugi, who is has an actual brain parasite (and people might like the brain parasite more than him even so it’s like...it’s a situation up there).

Everything from here on concerning Mokuba is bizarre and kind of frustrating. Starting with the clone entering in from the black void.

(read more under the cut)

I like that we know this is Seto because of the 6 inch hip spike on his jacket. Yo if they ever did a Netflix Live Action Yugioh first off of all, they cannot do half of the hair on this show, second of all, this jacket. It can’t be possible. And like I’ve seen some pretty good high effort Seto Cosplay but the jacket spikes are like...that’s pretty rough youknow? First off, this custom jacket would take you like 8 months to sew, it’d be insanely expensive with the custom lining and the poofy everything, and then those spikes? Like what do you even do? I can’t even imagine.

One off screen slap by the clone, and then Mokuba decided his brother is now Darth Vader. Can’t believe it was that easy.

And then, to top off my frustration with how quickly Mokuba’s Stockholm Syndrome set in--Noah could do this the entire time.

Y’all I was so mad. It’s Episode 13 and he pulls this out now, are you kidding me? The entire time. The entire freakin time. This is like “and Bakura can just shoot lasers whenever but won’t be bothered.”

I still love this storyboarder but maybe they just don’t like drawing hugs? I mean, it’s supposed to be a spooky hug, but like...it’s more like a wrestling move that Mokuba has just decided to give up and lean into.

And you know what? I get it. Drawing affection freakin sucks. Hard to explain why but trust me--it’s freakin cursed. It’s worse than drawing cars. I’d rather draw like 3 cars. (And exactly 3 because it would take a hell of a lot of money to ever make me draw 4.)

Seto decides to run ahead although, and I just want to point this out--this bridge joins in the next scene so they can all reunite and there is a car right behind him.

There is a car and he uses his damn legs.

Smartest boy in Domino.

And off he goes, his wedding dress coat elegantly flapping in the wind as he...

runs...

...down a tunnel that is clearly marked with lane lines for cars.

Because Noah gave them a car.

Meanwhile, back at the car, Joey is Done and has found a great way to win the Battle City Tournament.

They did not. It was so weird. They took out most of the the slaps, but left in this monkey burrowing into Serenity’s chest for like 20 weird seconds. It made squeaky noises.

Serenity doesn’t seem to care by the way, it’s very, very 90′s.

Anyway, Tea’s decided she’s now done hanging out with these guys and the pervert monkey, so off these two go. Off to follow the plot. On foot.

The tunnel vanishes, and these four are left outside to continue...just doing nothing guess. Duke always ends up on the lowest effort team, youknow? I dump on Duke a lot but I’ve been kinda feeling bad for him.

Anyway, inside this tunnel, Noah is catfishing Seto as Mokuba and I gotta say, it’s way better than the shorts. Just put Noah in this outfit all the time.

And our heroes have decided to save the day by going the wrong way at the fork and completely missing Seto Kaiba’s loud booming voice. How do they get lost when Kaiba is being exploded just off camera?

Like it says a lot about these kids that they got lost down a tunnel with only 1 fork.

I had to look this up, and unfortunately this is not the same house as Kaiba’s Season Zero house. Would have been a neat touch but nah, it’s just a generic university style house that no one would ever want to actually live in.

ENTER MARIK. Thank all those gods, including himself, he’s finally here. To...not do anything. Especially since this is a 2-parter. He’ll do a little more next update. Still not much, but oh man, am I glad to see Marik. Am I glad to see that third eye is absolutely still glowing on his forehead. Can’t imagine how hard it is to sleep with that thing buzzing all day.

Back in VR land, I have been hit in the face with Seto’s design and it’s like the first time I’ve ever seen it.

Every single season of Yugioh spices up the character designs a tad and it takes a little while to get used to. I think Seto may have been slightly exaggerated in this scene but...he still seems way taller now. Like he’s basically Yugioh Pumpkin King at this point. Peak 00′s.

Anyway, was this why Noah said “Look down” ? Because like...that’s not really a hint if you throw him down a hole.

Seto’s reaction to this was “I’m just really tired of everything that’s happened today and I’m going home.” and he grabbed Mokuba by the hand to leave but, apparently Mokuba is too slippery to be abducted twice?

Weird that the only person who physically cannot abduct Mokuba is Seto Kaiba. The only person.

And just like that, Mokuba is now on team Noah and Seto is just...standing there. Noah is sort of a god person in this universe since he can code whatever he wants around him but like...

...still feels a little weird to see Seto go from “I’ll punch whatever I need to get Moki back” in S1 to “I guess Moki hates me so I’ll let him stay here now” when Mokuba is clearly possessed.

Anyways, this all gets much weirder next episode, but it was very, very long so I split it in two. Like I dunno how many of you want to read tumblr posts that rival Livejournal posts in length so...we’ll save that for next time. (in fact I was just telling bro that if Tumblr does go down, I don’t even know if there’s long-form blogging platforms left other than like webcomic sites and fanfic sites. We’ll cross our fingers that I never have to move this blog over to like...Tapas ((I would never do that ps, Tapas is a nightmare to upload to even if you just want to do comics and that is a whole story in and of itself)))

But ya. Noah could just mind control whoever.

Like whoever.

Y’all the past 12 episodes were kind of like Bakura level of “I could do something, if I felt like it, and it would take like 2 seconds max and nobody would stop me, but then I’d have to get off my ass, and I’m too busy watching the world burn to bother.”

Which is very much every villain in Yugioh, being real.

If you just found my blog, here’s a place to find all the episodes in chrono order from S1 Ep1, I apologize now that I never separated them into seasons, turns out a Yugioh season is just unapologetically long oops my bad.

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “The Fog”

Written by: Jake Goldman, Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Benjamin P. Carow, Caitlin Vanarsdale

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

It may be 4/20, but the fog isn't from that.

One of the sad things about the reboot is that newer audiences may associate The Powerpuff Girls with some terrible cartoon that aired in 2016 to 2019. One of the other sad things is that there are moments when the reboot almost gets something actually funny, but is ruined by either a bad performance or just poor timing. This opening joke with Discount Jojo opening his mail is an example of both.

Discount Jojo: Ugh, junk, junk, junk, letter from Aunt Janine? ...junk.

It took me three times to actually see that this was supposed to be a joke, and I can tell because he gets this wide eyed expression once he gets to it. I am sure it was supposed to be Jojo almost looking like he had some sort of soft spot for his aunt that we never heard of, but the line is read just as monotonously as the rest.

It could be likely that Roger L. Jackson is just getting through his lines to get this reboot over with. However, Jojo immediately disproves that as soon as he gets a special letter.

Discount Jojo got a free boat! Yeah, this is just the opening segment of Lisa the Skeptic. They couldn't even be bothered to come up with a different prize than the one Homer was lured in with. All he has to do is go to a hotel called the Doomflower. He walks in, and he falls into a trap door into a conference room, where he meets some other villains who were lured in by this obvious ruse.

He meets the Gnat, who laments that even with his great genius, he was fooled by this too. According to him, he's the greatest foe of the Powerpuff Girls, he should know! Yeah, I guess there's a joke here since Discount is supposed to be their arch enemy, and the Gnat is just...the Gnat. The other villains that will show up are not nearly as fitting as him or, sadly, Discount Jojo, but they're welcome anyway.

The Fashionistas show up, and I'm surprised to say there's a minor bit of continuity here. They actually remembered that Barbarus, the giant pink gorilla, is his ex-girlfriend. It's a plot thread that started in Monkey Love, and, unlike most potential plot threads in this reboot, managed to survive for another episode. Not much else is made of this outside of the one scene, which is a point in this episode's favor, but it was neat to see nonetheless.

Oh yeah, there's also these other guys that we never seen before. Not to say they have bad designs or anything, in fact, I could see potential in that ball of yarn villain, but they barely do anything to even be named in this review. Sorry if you wanted to see anything on the realm of Meet The Beat-Alls, and, if you did, welcome to the reboot. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. In fact, calling this a "big villain team-up" episode would be an overstatement, as they don't really actually do any team moves.

As they're all wondering where the boat is, the mastermind behind this fake boat scam reveals themselves. It's The Sultan of Steam! The Villain of Vapor! The Cloud of Crime!

...The Fog, a cloud with glowing yellow eyes. This fog wants only one thing: the destruction of the Powerpuff Girls, and this villain is offering a bounty of one million dollars. This gets everyone interested, because they all wanted to do that anyway.

The anvil guy, it doesn't matter what his name is, protests, as he has never heard of this fog villain before. Speak for yourself. The fog then takes him down very easily just by enveloping him in the vapor and beating him up. This instantly gets all the villains to respect this new guy as their new leader. Even Jojo, which is kind of out of character for him. Maybe if it was Him or even Silico, maybe.

Suddenly, The Fog gets interrupted. This episode's running gag is Marsha of the Doomflower, showing up to make sure everything is going great. She's always acting all cheerful no matter what she's seeing. While I don't remember laughing at this, I certainly would know if I did, I at least find it kind of charming. It actually tying into the plot at one point helps a lot.

Meanwhile, the Powerpuff Girls are enjoying a nice sunny day with their sprinkler from Painbow. Thankfully, this is the only resemblance this episode has with Painbow outside of being a Buttercup-focused episode. Glad to see that the title card colored accordingly, a sad rarity in Season 3.

While the other two are enjoying playing around with the sprinkler, Buttercup is mad that she's not fighting bad guys and rescuing the people. Apparently, this has been one very slow month in Townsville. Thankfully, her wishes come true, as one-by-one, a villain shows up to try to defeat them once and for all.

The Gnat comes first, using a giant boot. He must have connections to that store that sold the giant terrarium and the giant jar, because that's the only place he could have got it. That's my headcanon. Unfortunately, for the Gnat, Buttercup easily punches him out, making him a rotating JPEG in the sky. Wow, that was easy!

The Fashionistas show up next, showing off their fall fashion line. Before they could do much of anything, they too become a rotating JPEG in the sky before long, this time by Bubbles! She actually gives reason to why they're beating her up aside from their threatening bling knuckles and beauty blasters.

Bianca Bikini: Fur coats!

Bubbles: No! (Makes fox aura) Fur is not fashion!

I mean, I'm not against this characterization for Bubbles. The one person who could talk to animals would be more conscious of such things. At least, I think she can still talk to animals, I wish we could have a reminder!

Discount Jojo shows up, too, with a helicopter hat. Blossom doesn't even need to come in to throw a punch, because Discount Jojo's hat ends up taking him to the sky for her. Why didn't I get a screenshot of this? Because it makes me sad.

I would talk about those other villains if they actually did anything. No really, they just forgot about them outside of the conference room moments. As an aside, it's a wonder how all these villains know where the Powerpuff Girls live; it's not like The Fog gave them directions.

Speaking of which, The Fog is not too happy with how none of them even landed a single punch on them. How did this Fog guy even know that they didn't? Hint #2 that something is up.

Bianca: At least our hair stayed in place. (hi-fives Barbarus)

They haven't done that many of those "gags so funny that they have to add in a fistbump as a makeshift laugh track" in season 3, so it took me a while to realize that is indeed a fistbump gag. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it is not. What I can say is that Bianca's hair isn't even in place, so the joke does not even work.

As this villainous fog turns the crab man, it doesn't matter what his name is, into a Maine crab dinner, The Fog decides to forgo the entire "million dollar" and commands them to defeat the Powerpuff Girls or else. The Fog then gets another interruption from Marsha from the Doomflower Hotel, and we get hint #3 on something being up: she refers to The Fog as Ms. Fog. Well, maybe there's nothing saying The Fog couldn't be female, but as soon as the villains leave, we get our big reveal.

Oh yeah, hint #1 is that The Fog's voice just sounds like Bart Simpson with an even worse cold.

Yeah, The Fog is Buttercup, who was doing this just to get away from all of that boring sprinkler fun! Yes, Buttercup, a girl from a family that needs to shop at discount costume shop, managed to rent a giant conference room with a trap door. I could imagine a hotel called the Doomflower would have cheap rates, but there's no indication whatsoever that their service is poor or that their hotel has an abundance of spiders.

Buttercup knows this ruse will lead to a lot of action, and it sure did and sure will, even if it was far too one-sided. Buttercup says to herself if only Blossom could see her now, even if she knows that she would be in massive trouble if she did.

Blossom: She can.

Whoops! It turns out that Marsha has been giving some house calls to get The Fog to rate their quality service, and Buttercup decided to use the home phone number instead of using her cell phone. See, the running gag ties into the plot! If only more of them did. Buttercup gives her reasoning.

Buttercup: I'm bored! We haven't had a good fight in weeks!

Wow, even Buttercup is aware of how terrible the fight scenes are; it’s been at least 15 years since the last really good one. The two get concerned that these shenanigans will get them into trouble, because even they're aware that these plots just lead them to becoming the damsels in distress for the tomboy of the group to save. Buttercup just brushes them off, as it's not like anything bad is going to happen!

It turns out, the Destructo-Saur knows that there's a million dollars on the heads of those tiny little sugar pumpkins, and he wants it all! He says that The Fog sent him, even though Buttercup has never heard of this villain nor did she invite him with a boat that would be too small for him to enjoy. Something is up already, but there's no time to suspect anything.

Blossom starts the battle by doing what she does best: use her ice breath. Sure, the reboot has made some terrible decisions, but at least it knows Blossom's the only one who could do that! She also says a line that channels the spirit of Mr. Freeze from Batman & Robin. They may as well have done a direct quote; that movie is one of the few things this reboot could compare favorably to!

It doesn't work, of course. After seeing this dinosaur resist Blossom's ice breath, and not even making a single attempt to punch him, Bubbles comes to the obvious conclusion.

Bubbles: This guy's unstoppable!

Yeah, if only Erica The Red was still around! Thankfully for this episode, she’s not here.

After Buttercup fails to defeat him with a crossbow aura and her sisters get hit by a truck full of barbells, she gets stuck in a alleyway. Buttercup begs for mercy, and then another twist happens. It's actually a good twist here; it's one of the few decent moments out of a character that I usually dislike.

However, it does raise a few questions. I will spoil that the Powerpuff Girls end up being okay, even though they got hit by a truck full of barbells. I find it hard to just accept that they could survive getting hit by it, considering how easily they get defeated by things far less capable of defeating ordinary people.

Still in their bandages, the villains show up to finally do a team-up beatdown against the Powerpuff Girls for that sweet cash they were promised, and Buttercup ends the episode with this line:

Buttercup: If you start something...you have to end it!

This does makes me wonder if this episode was actually meant to be a season finale. I mean, we have a partial villain team-up, and the final shot is the Powerpuff Girls flying towards the villains. Well, I don't know what Bubbles is doing there, but I'd imagine the Gnat would get defeated by a stick.

Does the title fit?

Out of all the "name of a character" episodes, this one could at least represent that The Fog was this mysterious entity that nobody knew.

How does it stack up?

I was taken aback by this episode at first, but the less I saw this as a villain team-up and more of a Buttercup lesson episode, the more I grew to appreciate it. It's definitely one of the better Buttercup lesson episodes. It helps that this doesn't exactly turn into a "Buttercup has to save her sisters from a scheme she made", even if that's what it seems to imply at first.

I do wish they could have put in better fight scenes and actually did anything with those throwaway villains, but that's just a general feeling with the reboot. Other than that, a decent second twist, a running gag that fits in with the episode, and some potentially funny moments make this one of the better episodes in general. it's a fog I'm actually not unhappy to be in.

Next, a crucifixion. Seriously.

← Bucketboy! ☆ The Spoon →

[mic-and-cheese]

for the numbers ask - 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, 24 (sorry to send so many numbers i'm just curious!)

Ohohoho I get to be extra salty today!

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Nope, next question.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Evelyn. She’s just... a really bland and confusing character. I mean, she hates superheroes because her dad decided to call superheroes for help during an armed robbery rather than running to his safe room despite the fact that he of all people would know it would be immensely difficult if not impossible to be saved by a superhero and ended up getting his dumb ass killed? Like ok sure, I see how she may have been irrational with grief to the point of hating superheroes if he had just died, but he died 15 fucking years before the events of the movie. And what, Evelyn just let her murderous tendencies fester all that time? I mean I know Syndrome did that too, but the difference is that Evelyn would have had to have been a full grown adult, and a very wealthy one at that, with a supportive family in Winston and her mom (up until she died anyway) and you’re trying to tell me she never sought help from anyone?

And then her plan to get rid of supers is to make supers look good by setting up crimes for them to foil (crimes that risked the lives of and likely killed at least a few innocent civilians, by the way) then hypnotize them to doing evil stuff to make them lose the public’s trust despite the fact that the public already knows there’s a villain that uses hypnotism running around, on top of the fact that she only put the final stage of her plan in action AFTER superheroes were literally made legal forever?

And her plot twist as the villain could be seen from a mile away, I mean, there’s just... there’s no creativity in her character, and her very existence spits in the face of the “these aren’t cartoon villains” message of the first movie. I know I tend to exaggerate in order to get my point across, but I am 100% literal when I say that Evelyn’s character is a disgrace to what made the original I/ncredibles such a classic movie.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

The last thing I watched with any sort of arc (besides individual character arcs) was probably Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope’s Peak High School and that was like a year ago and nothing arc related stood out as particularly bad to me soooo

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Take a wild fuckin’ guess.

I mean I don’t expect Syndrome to be well liked, but the fandom’s hatred for him is just excessive. I mean they will find a way to hate him over damn near everything, even stuff he never did like calling him a homophobe/rapist/incel etc (and those are legitimate examples I have heard btw). I mean I’ve heard people say that he was always destined to be evil, even as a child trying to help people, and then they turn around and demonize him for ya know, actually being evil as if they even believe he had a choice in the matter if he’s apparently destined for evil? And that’s just the surface level of the shit I’ve seen. It’s just some really over the top shit.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Pretty much the same answer as number 10

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Teruteru is a deeper character than just a creep, Buddy is a deeper character than just a villain, and he’s not evil because he’s an entitled brat, he’s evil because his trust in others has been completely destroyed (and no, not just because he was rejected once, his persistence in still trying to get Bob’s attention after being literally thrown out of a car is proof that he’s used to having to go through extreme ways of being noticed) and he believes that nothing he does will be good enough to be recognized in a positive way, so he feels like he has to force his way into the spotlight.

Buddy could have been a great person and superhero had he had an actual support network to encourage him and provide him with healthy coping mechanisms. Saying someone is destined for evil is fucked up.

Also he’s handsome as fuck. Fight me.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

Everyone knows the fandom is filled with assholes. The unpopular opinion is who the assholes are, and newsflash it’s literally everyone save for like the 5 people I’m chill with.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

It doesn’t even have to be shipping!

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Sorry, I only answer this question in increments of at least 5 complaints. See above for details.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

There’s not one. Interacting with this fandom is an act of self harm. Good night everybody.

[dcarevu]

DCAU #20: Prophecy of Doom

“You gave him ten million dollars, sir? And to think I was fretting over the electric bill…”

Hey, guys, so lemme tell you about the craziest thing that just happened to me. There I was, dressed in my cloak at the DCAU brotherhood meeting. And the leader of the brotherhood, Nospoilerz, looked right at me and said, “You! Young man! You are in graAaAve danger! I see disappointment! I see pain! I see misery and woe!” I left the place scoffing to myself, not believing one word of it. But then I turned on Prophecy of Doom and I realized that this guy actually may have known what he was talking about.

Episode: 19 Robin: No Writers: Sean Catherine Derek (teleplay), Dennis Marks (Story) Director: Frank Paur Animator: Akom Airdate: October 6, 1992 Grade: D

Am I being too generous with that D? Because this is definitely my second-least favorite episode so far. It’s another Sean Catherine Derek/AKOM “classic” from season 1, and this just goes to show that sometimes reading the episode credits is all you need to do… Sigh… Bruce Timm himself has made certain remarks about both of these creative forces, citing AKOM as a subpar studio, and Sean Catherine Derek as a writer that would always try to throw in a big message, but could never really make it work in practice. We saw this in The Forgotten with the subject of homelessness, and we see it here again with the fortune teller who is actually just scamming people out of all their money. Yeah, she didn’t write the story of this one, only the script and such, but her fingerprints are all over the place when you break out the powder. Unless you’re a really good writer, a half-hour Batman show is just not a good way to get some of your important, socially-conscious messages across to the public. Who exactly wants to see that? Eric Radomski and Bruce Timm were going for a grim, crime-noir. Sean was pushing for a recycling bin and a god damn dog to be in the show, guys. I think recycling is as important as the next guy. And boy do I love a cute pupper. But this says a lot. Boy. Don’t you just wish that we got a whole episode about why we should should recycle? Just imagine how that woulda turned out.

We would see some of the “big, real world statements” taken on much later with Static Shock, and from what I understand, it often worked quite well. But this was after a lot of DCAU establishment. It also was a very different show than Batman TAS. Not to mention, well, Sean Catherine Derek wasn’t involved with Static Shock at all. I wish her no ill will, and I hope she’s happy writing for whoever she writes for nowadays, but the sooner these episodes we’re looking at leave her behind, the better. Reportedly, she clashed a lot with Bruce and Eric when it came to their visions for Batman the Animated Series, so overall I would say that she just was not meant to be part of this team, or wasn’t flexible enough to write stories that would suit this show.

I didn’t think he was legit until he showed me his kickass flyers!

Nostromos is the one-off villain of this episode, and I’m certainly not gonna be anxiously awaiting his return for a future episode. He’s a guy who supposedly has magic powers and the ability to read fortunes, but as we can tell from spending less than five minutes with him, he’s a big fraud. In this episode, it makes for some confusion as far as how we’re supposed to see and react to him. Mysterio from Marvel did this concept wayyy better because Mysterio was more frightening than this guy. At least back when I was a kid he was (yeah, I get it, he’s got a big bowl on his head)! With Nostromos, we, the audience, along with Bruce Wayne, are skeptical of him from the beginning, and the way he carries himself makes it really hard to feel threatened by him at all.

Top 10 DCAU guyliner material

“The vibrations are right for prophecy.” This guy offers a translation to a completely lost Bruce Wayne

“You are merely the eye trying to view itself!” explains Nostromos. Now this guy looks just as confused as Bruce is. 

Even after we come to the conclusion that he likely was responsible for the sinking of the gambling cruise ship. He’s just so silly and his plan is so uninteresting. And then we see that the other people involved in Nostromos’ brotherhood (a big group of rich/important people) are eating up every word that he spews out, and we get music cues and other moments that almost seem to try and make us take him seriously. It makes the people in this episode seem like absolute dimwitted fools, and how all of them managed to finesse their way to the top of the money tree with that kind of gullibility is beyond me. The tone is really mixed. And it continues to stay mixed throughout the entire episode. It’s just weird to see Batman, the strong creature of the night who always saves the day (not literally, saving the day at night sounds bonkers), be in any sort of danger, but then see everyone else being idiots and that the villain is just a big joke.

“You!!!” This was a pretty poor-looking shot, especially when you see it in movement. 

Bruce’s glass mysteriously shatters.

And what is Nostromos’ plan? Well, his main one is to basically convince the brotherhood that an economic crisis is right around the corner in order to get them to give him all of their money. Is that not the least creative place you could go with a crazy cult in a Batman episode? The least they could have done was made it so that Nostromos wants to kill Bruce for a specific, personal reason or something. Things do get a little bit crazier eventually, but in a way that’s almost as dull as everything else. Nostromos ties Ethan Clark’s (a friend of Bruce in this episode) daughter to this giant solar system display, where she is in danger of being crushed if another planet happens to collide with her.

Seems to me like he could have made things a little simpler if he had just threatened to shoot her.     

This sequence just doesn’t visually suck me in, nor did it with Char. She thought it could have looked a lot better, especially when it’s such a preposterous idea. The episode needs to do something for me to fall under the spell of the suspension of disbelief. It has been said that Akom just didn’t have the chops to animate this the way it was asked for. And trust me, I believe that. It hasn’t taken me long to understand the impact of Akom on Batman the Animated Series. But in my mind…even with proper transition from the storyboards to full motion, is this really a scene that I would have been asking for? Did I really want a conclusion where Batman jumps around on moving papier-mâché planets gone awry?

This is pretty much the best we got, folks

So yes, I do in fact agree with Char, this scene could have looked a lot better. But I also have to ask the writers whether or not this was even a good idea in the first place. And Nostromos causes the planets to spin all over the place, past their normal speeds, by beating on the control panel and breaking it. Why does whamming on a piece of technology not usually just shut off the technology? It always sends it off on a deadly rampage. By the end, Batman escapes, saving Clark’s daughter. And Nostromos gets caught by a stray planet from the spinning display as it lands on top of him.

Nostromos and his crazy plot are much like how Red Claw ended up being a few episodes back. Has potential, then does nothing worth remembering with it. Y’know, this episode also feels like a 70’s Scooby Doo episode. The villain seems like a Scooby Doo villain, has a Scooby Doo villain-esque plan, and even gets caught like one of Fred’s traps. And y’know how usually Fred’s traps are completely over the top, but ultimately the animation and everything keeps it pretty underwhelming? That was the whole climax to this one. It’s like Batman was Scooby Doo, wrecking the bad guy’s plan and managing to trap them. I really wish everyone on the Batman TAS team had known better by this point when it comes to what type of show they should have been writing. Clearly some of them were in on it, but not some of those stubborn ones. I get that it’s still season one, but this episodes wastes time. Instead, we could have gotten something much better in its pace. But these writers were here taking up staff slots, not trying their hardest to produce a really good Batman show. They were too focused on only pushing hard enough to create a typical Saturday morning cartoon show, or a show that displayed a moral, and it’s like, another show could be used for things like that. I think when Paul Dini or Alan Burnett wrote their episodes, they made it so damn evident that they were pouring their hearts into the scripts, and were actually trying to make something good, something they they would have wanted to see. They were giving the best to Batman that they could. This show was airing before I was born. And even if it were brand new, it wouldn’t make any sense to hold a grudge or anything on some of these earlier writers. The ones who didn’t utilize the potential of a Batman show like this. Because what these writers did was make the good episodes seem even better. Not every episode may have been ground-breaking in this series. But even with those which weren’t quite up to snuff, with those which didn’t elevate the animation landscape, we still got so many episodes that did, and they are why the cartoon is remembered as being so important, so influential, and so gosh-darned entertaining. Them, and Batman going, “Psyyyyychic energiiiees, Alfred”. I could listen to that on repeat.

One of our establishing shots of the episode, use for a prelude which ultimately doesn’t end up being all that significant for the story. But at least the jazz was nice!

I don’t believe that we ever actually get any confirmation as to whether or not Nostromos planted this. I’m surprised an episode like this didn’t take the extra step to spell it out for us.

Uh oh, don’t let the fish drown!

Ethan and Lisa Clark. Wonder if they’ll appear past this episode.

Total Scooby Doo villain vibes.

Here are the mugshots 

These keyboard sound effects, though. Let’s get some official Batman TAS ASMR.

Batman flees the falling elevator, not falling victim to Nostromos’ plot

This was a pretty shitty fight scene.

Were you even trying to avoid that swing, Batman? He even gave you some time to react before he swung!

This was a decent shot.

Kevin Conroy’s acting was a lot of fun here. He put a tremble into Bruce’s voice that we all know is Bruce faking, but that’s only because we know better!

The most disturbing moment of Batman TAS so far. This damn smile. Especially with the way his eyes move. And you’re telling me that Bruce couldn’t hold in this smile? It’s not like he saw the camera and knew we were watching. They shoulda had him wink right at us while they were at it.

Maybe the bit that saved this episode from an F

Or maybe it was specifically this ass shot. And you say you watch Batman for the plot.

This is the shot our climax ends on. Just take it in.

This one was harder to write for some reason. Could have something to do with the fact that I’m staying in some friends’ living room and sleeping on their couch with another person over spring break. Not to mention, I have to do a lot of this typing on the floor. But I hope it gave something worth reading regardless! Here’s to a smoother review for next time. They can’t all be winners. Much like the episodes themselves. 

Char’s grade: C

Next time: Feat of Clay (Part 1) Full episode list here!

[ultraericthered]

Speaking of great Marvel villains..

Now that Marvel’s Spider-Man has ended it’s first season, I can say that while it’s not The Spectacular Spider-Man nor should it be expected to reach it’s level of quality, it’s a far better follow-up show to it than Ultimate Spider-Man was and is pretty easily the second best Spider-Man cartoon we have, combining the strongest points of the 90′s animated series, The Spectacular Spider-Man, and even throwing a little of Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends in there. But more notably, this show has given us five villains who are not only great villains but some of my absolute favorite incarnations of these villains in media to date.

Norman Osborn. As with the 26 episode run of The Spectacular Spider-Man, Norman played the role of THE evil mastermind and Big Bad for this show’s 26 episode first season. I still prefer that version and Willem Dafoe’s by a margin, but this one comes third in also being an absolutely perfect Norman Osborn. The design looks great, Josh Keaton proved to be surprisingly ideal casting given the performance he turned in (not many voice actors can lay claim to being a perfect Peter Parker AND a perfect Norman Osborn!), and his character was brilliantly written, being as cold, cruel, ruthless, manipulative, underhanded, and dedicated to upholding his family’s legacy as you’d expect. But he has a certain complexity and some humanizing qualities to him that makes him sometimes jerk you around to admiring him, almost liking him and being worried for him in the climactic episodes of the season, hoping he’ll come out okay....and then he puts another knife in your back and makes you wonder what you ever saw in the bastard. The most incredible part? He went the whole season arc without ever becoming the Green Goblin. He didn’t need to become the Goblin - he was such an awesome villain as himself already! This show even had the balls to do the “Hobgoblin before Green Goblin” concept from the 90′s show AND pull the “Norman becomes the Hobgoblin” concept that had been rejected, but somehow made it work since here the Hobgoblin was a vigilante hero identity created by Norman for Harry, but when Harry wasn’t living up to what Norman expected him to use the persona for, he appropriated the Goblin gear and tools for himself (which was foreshadowed by a line back in Norman’s first appearance) and it became a sort of Beta Test Drive for what Norman shall later become. (Yeah, you know he’s still alive and that this will happen - all the green imagery that’s popped up every now and then has to mean something! Plus, Disney XD spoiled him way in advance.

Doctor Octopus. Talk about a character who worked way better than he had any right to. The idea of a teenage Doc Ock has been mocked ever since it was in an early draft for a Spider-Man movie. Ock just works better as an adult. So how did they make this work? Well, legally he Is an adult - this Octavius is 19 years old. That’s an ideal way to have a Doc Ock who’s both a kid and an adult simultaneously (plus, he’ll be 20 next season!) The character himself was also highly entertaining and intriguing to watch, having his own character arc that saw his gradual but inevitable transformation into the mad supervillain we all know and love. And while Scott Menville as his voice is kind of annoying (purposely so given his insufferable know-it-all characterization), his performance was stellar, especially when he went full-on maniacal. While again, I prefer the Spectacular version and Alfred Molina’s version to this one, this version comes third and I honestly think this show handled Otto’s turn to villainy better than those other versions. He wasn’t driven to evil by his robotic arms that he’d stupidly programmed AI into and didn’t just turn on a dime and let out everything he’d been repressing after just one accident - his change was steady and it made sense. While I do dread him pulling the inevitable “Superior Spider-Man” crap, I do look forward to his continued development as a villain as he becomes a more major player next season.

Venom. Ah yes, Mr. big, black, slimy and long tongued himself. He didn’t get anywhere near the prominence that Norman, Ock, or even the Jackal did, which was unexpected given the character’s popularity and him showing up in early promotional material. He was only the subject of a three-episode arc and then a single episode later on. But he makes up for this by being honestly not only one of the best takes on Venom I’ve ever seen but the incarnation that’s probably the closest to what I think Venom always should have been in the comics. Venom shouldn’t have to be exclusively the union between the black alien Symbiote and Eddie Brock - Venom ought to BE the black alien Symbiote after it’s had a taste of a human host to bond with and is thus always seeking more, with an additional thirst for vengeance on it’s first host, Peter/Spider-Man, for rejecting it and in a sense giving it it’s own addiction. If the Symbiote is as addicted to human hosts as it is addictive to human hosts, this makes for a great situation where both the Symbiote and the host mirror each other in their addictions and vengeful hatred of Spider-Man. Or, in the case of what it does to Flash Thompson and the football players on this show, just overtaking the host and “wearing” them rather than letting them wear it. Making the Symbiote the more dominant dangerous presence in Peter’s life makes Venom so much more menacing than just some crazy guy wearing Peter’s discarded alien costume. I hope we see more from Venom in the next season, maybe with him taking on a host that will embrace him willingly (Eddie Brock?) and allow him a voice.

The Jackal. Okay this is cheating since the Jackal has literally never been in any other media beyond comics until now. Miles Warren appeared in both the 90′s show and The Spectacular Spider-Man, but he never got to become the Jackal in either one. Here Miles...oh, sorry, Raymond Warren (he needed to be given his brother’s name here since Miles Morales is a regularly appearing character and he’s got dibs on that name) already has his alter ego from the start, AND he’s Gwen Stacy’s uncle (I’m guessing George Stacy married a woman from the Warren family, then?). His look is spot-on and John DiMaggio is just perfect as his voice. While at first he appears to be a one-off villain for a three episode arc despite showing promise for a lot more, he comes back in a big way and is established as the secondary main antagonist on the show next to Norman Osborn. That radioactive spider that bit Peter Parker at Oscorp and gave him his spider powers, thus starting his career as Spider-Man? One of Warren’s science projects and part of a much larger experiment that he was trying to sell to Norman Osborn. His ultimate plan is, for whatever reason, to make an army of arachnid-powered super soldiers and use them to take Manhatten for himself so that the whole island could be his experimental testing ground for breeding a super race of spider-people, with him as their ruler. It’s kind of goofy B horror movie stuff, but the Jackal still manages to be freaking scary and a legitimate menace to our heroes and can stand up next to Norman Osborn as a brilliant minded and malevolent arch foe. He’s still at large as of the season’s end, and we’ve seen his capabilities at creating clones in action already, so I fear strange and possibly very confusing things are yet to come from him in the next season or so...

Kraven The Hunter. Some people must be thinking: Kraven, really? Aside from the awesome Jim Cummings voiced version from Shattered Dimensions and the awesome Michael Dorn voiced version from the short-lived, often forgotten MTV Spider-Man animated series, Kraven hasn’t had a lot of standout incarnations, as he himself was never a very cool or interesting villain in the comics. This version, though, clearly takes inspiration from the Ultimate comics version,,which was my favorite Kraven to date. He’s a big joke as a villain and the show knows this, so they make him the host/star of his own hunting show that he films live and they just go wild with him. His design looks more ragged and crazy than most of Kraven’s looks in other media, he’s depicted as an insanely passionate big game hunter who’s clearly just as enthralled with the TV entertainment business as he is with the hunting business to the point where he goes around acting like the show is his life and his whole life is a show, and the writers have produced some of the show’s best jokes from this, having Kraven talk directly to the adoring fans he believes are watching him live and often turn moments into opportunities to advertise his merchandise, even at one point having a big product image obscure Spider-Man (his current prey) from view only for Spidey to be gone by the time the image faded, a gag that actually made me laugh out loud. And the craziest part of all? Despite how comical they’ve made him, he’s still a complete badass, very good at setting up dangerous traps for his targets and being one hell of an awesome fighter, even going toe to toe with a mutated spider monster Norman Osborn! He may be an intentionally stupid villain but he’s not harmless and is never to be underestimated. Definitively one of the all time great Kravens.

[spiftynifty]

LGBT representation in Voltron

UPDATED: I realized I wasn’t coming off as neutrally as I’d like and there were hints of shipping peeking through. I also didn’t feel I had expanded properly on certain aspects. I’d like this particular post to be as neutral as  possible so that it’s accessible to people from all ships and headcanons.

I’ve seen a lot of discussion lately about LGBT representation in Voltron. From shipping wars to insistent demands that headcanons be fulfilled, it’s all getting a little bonkers. I wanted to step back, encourage everyone to take a breather, and discuss the potential of any LGBT on the show, including and excluding popular expectations. So here we go, a post on LGBT representation in Voltron and in cartoons, and why it's not as simple as we'd like it to be. It’s a little long but don’t worry, there are pictures! AND A COMIC!

DISCLAIMER: I do not work on Voltron, nor do I work for Dreamworks or any of its properties. I'm just an animator who's worked on dozens of cartoons for a number of studios and the following is based on my experience in this industry. This post is NOT meant to indict any of the parties involved in the creation of Voltron or other cartoons. Making cartoons is a complicated, collaborative process and no one is a villain.

Here we go:

Before we can talk about LGBT rep & Voltron, we should probably talk about LGBT representation in cartoons in general. In case it isn't clear, I'm speaking specifically about Western cartoons that primarily air in Canada/US. Anime is a whole other category and one that Voltron does not fall under. I'm also removing cartoons that were made explicitly for adults.

LGBT in cartoons is a really recent development. If we include adult cartoons it can date back as far as 20 years (South Park showcasing some SUPER GREAT gay stereotypes :|) but if we're including cartoons geared towards kids (age 5-17)... we're talking this being a thing in the last FOUR years. And the number of times it's been done is so minimal, it can be summed up in these few images:

(left to right, top to bottom) 6Teen, 2010 CANADA ONLY - An incidental female character revealed she liked women. I don’t think this show ever aired in the States but it ran on Teletoon for years. The show also had an episode with an incidental gay character in 2008. Gravity Falls, 2013 - The sheriff and deputy are repeatedly hinted at being in a relationship. I believe in the series finale their relationship is more clearly identified. It was later confirmed by the show’s creator.

Legend of Korra, 2014 - The two female leads, after having previously dated the same male character, are strongly implied to now be dating each other as they hold hands and walk into the Spirit World together. This was as explicit as they were allowed to get with their relationship. The comics continue their relationship romantically and also highlight other characters from both series who are (or were) LGBT). Steven Universe, 2013 - The show doesn’t shy away from its LGBT romances, in particular Ruby and Sapphire and Pearl and Rose.  Star vs The Forces of Evil, 2017 - in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it panning shot, two background male characters are seen kissing.  Clarence, 2013 - The main character has two moms. In one episode, a handsome male background character is shown greeting another man for a date by kissing him on the cheek. Initially they were supposed to peck on the lips until other countries’ censors demanded the change. Loud House, 2016 - The main character’s best friend, Clyde, has two dads. 

I’m also going to toss out an Honourable Mention to Adventure Time for Princess Bubblegum & Marceline, whose past romantic relationship was sort of hinted at in the show but only confirmed outside of it. 

If we take that list and cut it down to just (broadcast TV) primary or recurring characters, we're left with this: Korra, Steven Universe, Clarence

I should also mention that while I repeatedly use the term LGBT, what I’m really referring to is more LGB. I would love to see a trans character in a broadcast cartoon. I’ve heard Amazon’s Danger & Eggs has a trans character, which is AMAZING and a solid start. However progressively speaking, broadcast cartoons tend to lag a little behind live action TV and movies aimed at older teens and adults, and those genres are still struggling to feature trans characters. 

So why is this?

Firstly, and more importantly, a lot of these shows air in countries that aren't nearly as open about LGBT as USA/Canada are. To say "screw those guys! They should keep up with the times!!" is to cut out a major consumer base and most companies are unwilling or unable to take that financial hit. This doesn't make them evil. Animation, just like filmmaking, may be an artform but it is first and foremost a BUSINESS. Major companies like Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network won’t lose money, but the production studios they hire to do their shows will suffer the brunt of it and could lose the business of these powerful corporations. It’s happened time and time again that a show initially animated in the US or Canada has been taken away from that studio in favor of a cheaper, overseas option. In some cases they’ve closed. 

Second, even in 2018 there is still a lot of pushback from homophobic or “family-oriented” groups with decent clout and numbers. Also, there is a strange pervasive idea that LGBT is something that is Not For Children, likely because too many foolish people still associate heteronormativity with love and everything outside of that with sex. 

Additionally, you may have noticed that on the list of the three shows showcasing LGBT relationships in a primary or recurring character way... ALL of them feature women. The social discussion about why that is honestly merits an entire other post (or 5) so to put it plainly, broadly speaking, people tend to be more comfortable with female queerness over male queerness. We have yet to see a m/m relationship that has any iota of history or character development behind it, or a recurring queer male character.

With this in mind, Voltron, which features a primarily male cast, and thus has more chances of featuring a male LGBT character, has its work cut out for it.

___________________________________________________

Fresh off the heels of Korra, a series that in the 11th hour featured the two female leads ending up with each other, it's no surprise that showrunners Lauren Montgomery and Joaquin Dos Santos( along with other cast and crew) have fielded a barrage of questions about their intention to depict LGBT on the show. At NYCC when asked about it, this was JDS & LM's response: "It's very important to us... we’re fighting to create as open and as broad a spectrum of characters as we can."

Which is a pretty interesting way of putting it, and a pretty understandably CAREFUL way of putting it. Again, I want to reiterate, I don’t work for any studio involved in the production of Voltron so this is largely conjecture.

So here's how the hierarchy works, as far as I can tell. 

I'm not sure who approached who to get a new Voltron made, but primary creative decisions would fall to JDS and LM, who are in charge of things like major plot points, characters, and arcs. When they've figured this stuff out, they pitch it in a multitude of sessions with Dreamworks People... and that's when the battle begins. Pitching a show is always a tug-of-war. Let's be clear: No creator has ever gone in with a show and walked away with every single aspect that they wanted. Compromises and concessions are made because while the Creatives are focused on their story and character, their client is concerning themselves with budget, timelines, audience targets and $$marketing$$. Before they even got to the matter of LGBT, JDS/LM had lost and won battles over some plot and character decisions. You can actually feel it sometimes when you watch the show; key emotional moments that never happen, or character stuff that gets shaved in favor of action or the reuse animation of the lions forming Voltron. 

This show is still aimed at a young, male, market Dreamworks wants to believe is going to buy their incredibly limited line of related toys, and that is a market that is difficult for executives to see as being interested in romance, let alone a queer one.

The point is, as much as JDS/LM seem to want LGBT in their show, it is a negotiation that I'm sure has been on the table since Day 1 and probably one that is ongoing. Here's a vague idea of what MAY have gone down:

Dreamworks: We will consider the idea of two of them in a relationship, but the third has got to go. JDS/LM: .....we appreciate you considering the relationship aspect. Dreamworks: In addition, we feel that to balance the scales so to speak, at least one character needs to be overtly heterosexual. You know, hit on a lot of female characters, maybe even fall for one of them.

(sorry would have finished the comic but I sprained my wrist and I’m not supposed to draw rn but I cheated a little, also can you tell I love Saga)

This is very probably not what happened, but it is an example of what could have. I know there is a lot of support for a certain character in Voltron being bi, not least of all because of something LM drew. 

I think the placement of the characters holding the signs were less about associating the character with the header and more about making sure neither of the two warring ships were represented; it would have incited a new level on the shipping wars and the message and intent behind this art would have been lost.

There is a weird association with relationships and how they define a show if they aren’t hetero. Have only one relationship on a show about space battles and if it’s LGBT, people will start associating Voltron with being “the gay space battle show”. I don’t want to get into Discourse about This Thing because debate gets lost quickly in favor of toxic insults, but I think it’s important to touch on Bi!Lance. To be entirely neutral about it, it is possible that Lance was originally intended to be bi. But if there was the potential for other characters to be LGBT, the showrunners might have been asked to “strike a balance” so to speak, so that Voltron wouldn’t just be “the gay space battle” show since its hetero relationships would outnumber the queer ones. I don’t think Lance’s character has changed at all since his inception; the show needs a funnyman for levity and ridiculousness, and he is absolutely the charmer of the Paladins. He may have been intended to hit on just about any attractive being in his orbit (there are shades of what one might call a “man-crush” in regards to his Shiro hero-worship). While it would have been awesome to have a bi male character in a cartoon, changing his attraction dial from “all” to “female” doesn’t really affect his storyline, especially since it’s hard to contest that the show has been angling in potential for endgame Allurance in seasons 3&4. I realize that sounds dismissive of the bi experience, that’s really not what I’m trying to get at. I’m saying that in the grand scheme of things, it may have been easier to sacrifice an LGBT Lance in order to win another LGBT representation battle. Like I said, making cartoons that maintain the creative, storyline, and character goals you walk in with is a tug-of-war, and you’re going to lose something along the way. 

But it’s not all about Lance, and again, that’s all theoretical. It’s also possible that Pidge was at one point NB or even trans. There are hints of Coran having a close friendship with Alfor. The original blue paladin is hinted at flirting with a fellow male character in a “did he just--” moment that most people missed. Lotor surrounds himself with female generals but never seems particularly attracted to them. Keith’s undying devotion to Shiro could be interpreted as romantic. There are a dozen main characters whose orientations are nebulous at best and thus have potential to be queer. 

So what does this mean for the future of LGBT on Voltron?

The short version is: I'm actually, really, really hopeful. For a number of reasons.

1) JDS/LM as they've said, are fighting really hard for this to be a thing. Jeremy Shada has said "You'll be really happy" when asked about LGBT on the show. People may feel he’s referring to his character Lance, but I think he’s just hoping that people will be happy with any character who could be explicitly stated to be LGBT. 

2) Netflix isn't a TV broadcaster, which means they can operate under somewhat different rules. Sort of. They certainly don't shy away from LGBT content but they may be regulated under rules of "what is appropriate for children in certain age groups" which frustratingly, for kids 12 and under, does not often include LGBT content. Netflix notoriously doesn't release their viewership data so this is just speculation; but I wonder if the biggest audience taking in this show is actually people, primarily women, aged 14+. Taking this into account won't influence the plot, but the bumped up age could show an increased likelihood of LGBT rep as it pushes the show outside of the "content too sensitive for young children" zone.

3) It would be really nice to see explicit, unambiguous affection between two same-sex characters. However there can still be canonical queer romance without it, shades enough of “just friendship” that they can get past the censors and bigots while those who are more aware of what’s going on can recognize the relationship for what it is. Remember, some people still refuse to believe that Victor and Yuuri kissed in Yuuri on Ice, all thanks to the clever placement of an arm. Furthermore, LGBT doesn’t have to be portrayed through relationships but just the character itself. A character could make a passing comment that alludes to their sexuality. It’s not quite as satisfying as having it out in the open, but DW’s hands may be tied by the stipulations of the contract outlined by Netflix.

4) Despite what certain world events would have you believe, people are becoming more progressive and supportive of LGBT rights and content. We've seen it happen in movies and live-action television. More and more cartoons are going to be including LGBT content, in broader and more overt ways. There will be other cartoons who feature main characters who identify as LGBT, recurring characters in LGBT relationships who are allowed to be affectionate and cutesy with their partners, who are represented no differently or reverently than hetero cartoon romances. Voltron will likely end within the next two years, and within those next two years more and more cartoons will be taking "risks" and more and more broadcasters will feel emboldened to allow them to do so. If Dreamworks keeps its content steadfastly heterosexual while fellow producers embrace LGBT, it's going to reflect badly on them. 

People are desperate for representation in this show and it’s not hard to see why. It is not only one of the few serial cartoons out there, but one that deals with surprisingly adult themes considering it’s aimed at elementary schoolers. I think it’s really neat that people have so many headcanons about the LGBT rep in this show, and I think it’s great that it’s an element that has sparked a lot of passion in people. However, everything is still conjecture, the series is but half over, and putting all your LGBT demands onto one character or one relationship is unhealthy. It’s also pretty insidious to attack or harass crew, cast, or fellow fans whose views on how the LGBT should happen don’t align with your own. The show’s arcs and plot points have been written, the characters decided, but the internal fight over LGBT rep could still be going on. The creators aren’t going to cave to pressure from people who really want their ship or their character to be the sacred cow. Ship what you want to ship but recognize that while LGBT on the show may not happen the way you’d like it to, it’s still important to support its existence no matter what form it comes in. 

In the next part I’m going to cover one relationship in particular as neutrally as possible and whether or not it has potential to become canonically romantic.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-15th Place

The fifteenth place is a tie, primarily because both of these shows are equally good, in my opinion. Some of you might disagree with me, but to that I say-

ALL ABOARD THE HATE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO!

#15-We Bare Bears (2015-2020)/Big City Greens (2018-)

The Plot(s): Both shows involve an unorthodox family trying to fit in with what’s considered normal. In We Bare Bears, it’s three brother bears (Grizz, Panda, and Ice Bear) trying to fit in with modern society. And in Big City Greens, it’s a family of farmers (Cricket, Tilly, Bill, and Gramma) trying to adjust to city life after the family farm got sold due to low profits. In both shows, these characters make new friends, go on wacky adventures, and learn that they’ll always be okay as long as they’re together.

Aside from that brief description, I can sum up these shows in two words: Charmingly simplistic. There’s no intense continuity, no ongoing story arcs, or even an evilly evil villain hoping to take over the world...for the most part. These are just two different shows, with two types of families trying to get by in life. And honestly, it’s those families that make these shows work.

The dynamic between the bears in We Bare Bears is what makes the show so charming to watch. These three actually act like brothers (from what I’ve been told. I, unfortunately, don’t have brothers), and seeing their brotherly bond does nothing less than putting a smile on my face. Plus, the loyalty they have for each other is downright heartwarming, especially when the series flashes back to when they were kids.

And while I can’t entirely say that the Green family has the same amount of charm to them, there is one thing that I love. And that’s the fact that (kinda spoiler warning) they are an almost complete family in a Disney cartoon, with both parents being a prominent role in the series. Yes, Bill and Nancy are divorced, but that doesn’t mean Nancy isn’t around for her kids. She shows up frequently after her introduction and even gives off an impression that she’s a semi-good mom. In fact, Bill and Nancy seem to still have a level of respect for each other despite missing their old spark. It’s almost as if the writers are trying to say that not all divorces mean the destruction of a family, which I can respect. Because it can teach kids to not be afraid of the “D” word (kinda spoilers over).

But it’s not just the main characters that shine in these shows. The members of the supporting cast in We Bare Bears have a level of likability and depth. Chloe is often outgoing and laid back when she’s with the bears, who fails to make any other connections due to being a child prodigy. Ranger Tabes is often audacious and enjoyably energetic while also taking pride in her work and feels hurt when she thinks she’s not taken seriously. Then there are Charlie and Nom Nom, who have a level of charm to them. Despite being intended to come off as annoying and unlikable. Even the background characters are impressive due to the diversity of cultures and races that a viewer can see in each episode.

As for Big City Greens, the characters do not really have any depth outside of the main cast. What you see is pretty much what you get with most of these characters, aside from maybe Gloria, but even then, it’s only on occasion. Big City Greens also dodges showing diversity by having everyone be a shade of bright pastel colors. But I give credit to the show for having the first gay couple in a Disney cartoon...even though they get dropped by season two and are never fully confirmed as gay. Which pales in comparison to Luz and Amity from The Owl House, but it was at least a start! Sometimes, you gotta take baby steps before taking leaps ahead of the game. And don’t get me wrong, while I still prefer characters who have depth, that doesn’t mean I hate the characters in Big City Greens. Everyone does their job of adding to the story and making audiences laugh. In fact, making audiences laugh is what I would say Big City Greens does better than We Bare Bears.

Now in fairness. We Bare Bears is pretty funny from time to time. However, when it comes to which series makes me laugh the most, I have to pick Big City Greens. The first few episodes alone had me laughing much more than most of We Bare Bears' first season. It also helps that the show has a very random sense of humor elevated by the show’s energy. But I'll give it to you that comedy is subjective, and there are a couple of jokes that don’t work in Big City Greens. The best example is when the show lingers too long on a joke that didn’t really work as much as the writers thought it did. But that does not change the fact that Big City Greens is still a pretty funny show.

However, while We Bare Bears lacks comedy, it more than enough makes up for it with charm. This show is downright delightful to watch in almost every episode. Rarely do I feel anger when watching this series (which I wish I could say about previous/future entrees), and it has everything to do with the cast. I wasn’t kidding when I said that even intentionally annoying characters have a level of charm and likeability to them. In fact, the only bad episodes are when they begin to act uncharacteristically cruel and selfish. Mostly because those words could not be farther from a definition of We Bare Bears.

However, if I had to pick out the major fault that We Bare Bears have, it’s the fact that the show plays things a little too safe. For instance, whenever the show tries to go dark, it is pretty tame compared to other shows. The best example is how nearly every dangerous predator in this series somehow looks adorable. Wolfs, snakes, and even cougars (the big cats, not the middle-aged women) are somehow drawn to be cute and cuddly. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want a show to make kids think that dangerous woodland creatures like these are something you could just give a belly rub. I understand that this is a kids' show, but Big City Greens not only has the same rating, but it’s on the Disney Channel. And yet, it feels like that show has bigger cajones than the series formerly on the same network as Regular Show. That is not a good thing.

Going back to Big City Greens, I can sum up every problem I have with this show with one character: Cricket Green. Now I don’t entirely hate Cricket...but I’m willing to bet other people will. I can tell that the show is trying to make him a lovable little rascal that’s sort of a mix of Bart Simpson and Timmy Turner. But in the end, I think he causes more damage than either of those characters have in their entire lives. Cricket claims how sorry he is at the end of every episode, but I doubt he learns his lesson. We Bare Bears has a similar problem with Panda, but even when Panda is at his most selfish, he doesn’t do anything harmful to anyone but himself (except in the episode “Braces," but we don’t need to talk about that). Plus, even when he does go a tad too far, Panda’s voice actor (Bobby Moynihan) does a great job at making Panda seem sincere when he’s apologizing for his actions. Not to mention that Bobby gives a sense of realism and relatability with most of Panda’s lines. Then there is Cricket’s voice actor, Chris Houghton, an adult man trying to voice a child. I understand the logic behind using an adult over a kid (this happens more times than you think), but I feel like I would get the impression that Cricket is an innocent kid who doesn’t know better if he actually sounded like a kid.

In the end, neither of these shows are really that impressive compared to others. Thankfully with good comedy, charm, and great characters, they still manage to be really good for all ages. So while We Bare Bears and Big City Greens may not be as big as any other show in the last decade, they’re still good enough that you might just bear it!

(Two for one! I told you I would make up the embarrassment that was Dan Vs.!)