#APH - Red horde

[itstokkii]

aph kazakhstan hcs

kazakhstan!!! my starboy

- kazakhstan is the baby of the gang 👶 he looks like he's in his early 20s, a charming young man! he and his older sister uzbekistan were initially together under the uzbek khanate before breaking off and forming the kazakh khanate. to some extent, uzbekistan's still salty about it to this day...

- he may be the baby but he's the breadwinner of the family!! he has the highest gdp among all of central asia, and his other siblings are floored whenever they visit astana and almaty. he's a hustler!

- he tries to get his siblings to be cooperative and stop fighting all the time(specifically uzbekistan tajikistan and kyrgyzstan) through ~regional unity.~ the results? there certainly were some...

- kyrgyzstan and uzbekistan dote on him a lot while also being jealous of his massive economic gains lol

- kazakhstan is asexual. I see him immensely valuing his small group of friends and family, but I don't see him pursuing any relationships in an intimate manner. he may still have fleeting crushes from time to time, and so may be alloromantic to some extent.

- he gets along well with kyrgyzstan, his older brother, in terms of language! they both belong to the qipchak language family, and having both been nomadic for longer have restored a lot of nomadic tradition than the couch potato over there(uzbekistan).

- the qipchak languages have less persian influence than qarluk, so this means kazakhstan and kyrgyzstan(as well as karakalpakstan) don't have many issues speaking in their language towards turkey. they both know turkish fluently anyway.

- when they speak to tajikistan they revert to russian or have uzbekistan translate.

- he's also very close with uzbekistan, as mentioned before with them both being under the same roof once. kazakhs are quick to support uzbeks in times of need or celebration, like diyora keldiyorova's gold medal winning in judo(the first uzbek woman to win in judo)! kazakhstan admires how hard working, mannered and thoughtful she is towards the people she loves and cares about, and even towards strangers as well! he also loves her cooking, and in the meantime uzbeks admire how outspoken kazakhs are, and how quick they are to fight against injustice. uzbekistan wishes she could be as outspoken as her brothers too, to forcefully enact change instead of waiting in fear...

- also she loves her lil bro's chocolate and candy!! bayan sulu my beloved...

- @ any kazakhs who see this...I KNOW there was a chocolate with lemon filling I just don't remember the brand name...PLEASE DM me if you know 😭😭

- uzbekistan also has the 2nd biggest gdp of central asia. the 2 hustle together to be the faces of central asia!

- whenever he tries taking her out to skate she clings onto him for dear life while screaming. he tries taking her on hikes too because "the mountain air is good for your health" but she INSISTS a lady shouldn't exert herself too much...once you become sedentary it's over for you ig 💀

- mongolia is closest to kazakhstan out of all the central asians! they're neighbors, and in bayan ulgii, there's a sizeable community of kazakhs that have lived there since fleeing the russian occupation. they've kept all their traditions intact, and kazakhstan pays them a visit from time to time! he's grateful to mongolia for letting them seek refuge and keep their culture intact after all these years.

- kazakhstan was a successor to the golden horde, and a lot of kazakhs can trace their ancestry to then! hence, mongolia is something like.. a grandpa...?

- mongolia takes the time to tease kazakhstan like "hey isn't it past your bedtime little man?" just to see kazakhstan go all red in the face. mongolia also checks on him from time to time to see if he's doing alright. it's kind of sweet tbh 🥺

- this one time in a horseback archery competition france came in FIRST??? while mongolia and kazakhstan came in 2nd and 3rd. they probably sobbed abt it and drank together 😭

- now all the central asians use some russian words when speaking, but kazakhstan does this the most. he's trying(successfully) to phase russian out when he could use a kazakh word in place of it.

- kazakhstan has kept the tradition of falcon taming and hunting! he handles falcons really well, and will sometimes be on the tv as he walks the audience through handling a falcon. kazakhstan also rides horses the best! there's a lot of mountainous regions an hour or two's drive away from almaty where you can ride horses and admire the freshwater streams and the vibrant green grass...what a dream..

- kyrgyzstan and kazakhstan were also one of the founding members of the turkic union! for the first few years it must have been hard to listen to turkey yap about turan...

- kazakhstan is also the coldest central asian country. the weather can hit as low -30 to -35 degrees! before washing machines, he'd hang his laundry outside and check on them the next morning to try and fit a stiff scarf through the doorway. when roads freeze over, he pulls out his skates and simply skates to work. he'd open his door in the morning after a snowy night only for the snow to have taken the shape of the door.

- uzbekistan may be the best cook as declared by her siblings, but kazakhstan is a close second and this is because of his beshbarmaq and baursak. it is such a banger and hits EVERY TIME. uzbekistan loves his cooking ❤️

- also makes a mean kazy! bro is NOT lazy with it. he doesn't buy from the store! not when he could make his own.

- he also makes qurut as well. qurut is like dried yogurt in the shape of a ball, and you suck on it because mm salty. thing is, uzbekistan's qurut is much harder and therefore takes a longer time to go through compared to kazakhstan's! his is softer and more creamy, less salty, and it gets my vote <3

- he loves playing hockey, skating, riding horses, hiking in his mountainous ranges...he's very active! he also likes going to concerts and raves, and coming home late lol

- his interest in space was kickstarted by uzbekistan, who took him to see ulughbek's observatory. then years later a major space operations hub was placed in baikonur during the ussr period, and since then he's developed his own space program and he loves keeping up to date with space related news! just say the word and he'll explain it to you!

- due to constantly being tormented by russia, and for a while having to bend to his needs(a long while...) he does have unhealthy coping mechanisms. he picked up drinking and smoking during the ussr and still does it, though his siblings are trying to get him to cut down on it.

- he, like all the central asians, absolutely DESPISES russia. he can just conceal his feelings better than his siblings when he makes economic deals. this was especially so in the early aughts to 2010s as he insisted it was "all for my economy's sake..."

- when he's working on something late at night, he likes going to CU to grab a bite to eat! korea's been to his CU a few times when he's showed her around and she noticed how there were some products that weren't in korea themselves! CU regularly sells binggrae vanilla flavored milk, though in korea it's not on the shelves at all!

- this one time in 2022 the power shut off in uzbekistan kazakhstan and kyrgyzstan, and all the governments blamed each other lol. talk about the spiderman meme

- also in my opinion...kazakhstan has the best drip lol. both in terms of tradition and modern fits I see people wear in the streets of astana

[konoha-hk]

First it was his brothers who bothered him, then his hordes and others, to end China and Russia, Mongolia will always have bad luck (?).

PS: I always wanted to draw the Hordes of the Mongol Empire, I love them, maybe then I'll draw the other members of the Empire.

[himbusnor]

Fly Away Home

I have entered another level of aph hell...

okay first of all, i don’t know if nursery rhymes are public domain or whatever but yeah

.

.

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home, you house is burning and your children are dead

All except one, and that’s little Ann, who crept under the warming pan

1988

“Like, Ohmigod, the economy’s failing ‘cause of Chernobyl and like I really think we should, like, leave.”

Five pairs of eyes looked back at Poland, also known as Feliks Łukasiewicz. Hungarian, Bulgarian, East German (Prussian! No, like, obviously East German), Czechoslovakian, and Romanian.

“Uh, I mean, like, Communism helped us out of a sorta tight spot after World War Two but now it’s being like really suckish and besides, I think Ivan’s losing it too, so he probs won’t like, go after us.” The Polish nation clarified.

“Last time I tried to leave, I was met with a horde of Red Army soldiers” Hungary pointed out.

“Yeah, but that was like back with bitch ass Stalin.”

“And now Russia’s boss is letting us run ourselves, so we’ll be fine. I want to see mein bruder again.”

“Okay, but-”

“Just think about it! It’s been better after Stalin, but once we leave we won’t be oppressed anymore!”

“We don’t have to listen to our bosses!”

Hungary’s protests were drowned out by chatter. Past experience told her to be uneasy, but she knew that, if she wanted to, she could leave.

1989, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, and Bulgaria leave the Soviet Bloc and the Warsaw Pact

…

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children shall burn.

1989

“I’m leaving, YOU HEAR ME?! Boss, I don’t care if you approve or not. You know what, I don’t even care if these people die. The economy’s been crumbling, and I want to GO!” Romania was yelling among the rebels in Bucharest.

He hoped the transition would be peaceful, but his boss was stubborn.

And so he was dragging the president out by his arms, to be hanged.

Slipping the noose over his fat neck.

Letting go.

Crack

The former Socialist Republic of Romania was left with a dead body and the cheers of his people.

1989, Romania leaves the Soviet Bloc. He is the only one to violently overthrow his regime.

…

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is burning and your children are gone.

All but one, and that’s little John, who lies under the grindle stone.

1990

The wall was crumbling.

For a year already Hungary left, and she broke down her part of the wall. Most of his people were leaving that way, to West. She had to return most of them, for the sake of diplomacy. Those same people started demonstrations.

We want out, they said.

His boss finally let them go, at the price of their citizenship.

He could care less. It was nearly fifty years since he talked to West. He just wanted to be with his kleiner bruder again.

Running, running to the wall. The opening gates, his people with his brother’s, family and total strangers all talking in the same language.

It was beautiful.

At the back of the crowd he saw a pale crème scarf. Russia. Or Soviet Union.

He could never tell. Red eyes on purple, a bittersweet smile, the ash blonde head nodding towards the now open border. Mouthing three words.

I forgive you.

It felt like a weight was taken off his chest. He was no longer a nation, but no matter what happened to him, he knew he left no regrets. If he was slated to die, he would die a free country.

1990, fall of the Berlin Wall. East Germany (Prussia) reunites with West and marks the beginning of the end.

…

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is on fire and you children are gone.

All except one, her name is Nan, and she hid under the porridge pan

1990

“We’re going” Estonia said, back in 1988.

They all understood the problems the Union had, what they were trying to fix. Many of Lithuania’s people were sent to the gulags back during Stalin’s reign, resulting in whip scars on his back. Russians targeted by intelligence immigrated to Latvia, explaining his constant trembling. Their arms were dotted with fading heroin marks from when there were food shortages twenty years ago. 

Recently the days were better, there was less suffering and less fear.

Russia would often hide it, like he used to hide the fact he did drugs to provide them with more food. He was following a pipe dream, and he was dying because of it.

Lithuania acted first, electing a new leader and declaring his independence.

Then Estonia, declaring that the USSR’s occupation of his country was illegal.

Latvia, though completely traumatized from his time being Communist, was able to bring up his treaty with Russia from 1920. “You said my independence was inviolable, for all future time.” He whispered

“Personally, I wish you all the best of luck”, Russia admitted. “But politics are selfish, he’ll try to keep you in.”

That was the truth, the army stormed their capitals and killed 21 people. Russia eventually convinced them to let the Baltics leave.

Their departure was quiet, without any ceremony.

1990, The Baltics declare independence from the Soviet Union. Troops reacted violently to resistance.

…

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children are gone.

All except one, and her name is Aileen, she hid under the soup tureen

1900

The Chernobyl Incident was the last straw, really. Ever since becoming Communist Ukraine didn’t do very well. She loved her little brother, she really did, but nations put their people first, even if it meant abandoning him.

Belarus knew how her big sister suffered under this regime, how her brother basically built his own gilded cage and trapped himself in it.

Both hands on the staff of her red and white flag, banned since she joined this Union, running through the streets of Minsk with protesters. Demanding additional cleanup for Chernobyl and resignation of her boss.

Neither of them wanted to leave Vanya, but it was the only way they could go.

1900, Belarus and Ukraine leave the Soviet Union.

…

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is on fire and you children are gone.

1991

It’s only me now.

They all left, and for the better.

The Soviet Union is dying, and I deal the killing blow. But I never understood.

Was I the Union, or was the Union me?

No matter what, I die.

7:30, 12/26/91

I secure the ligature and tie a running knot.

7:31, 12/26/91

I slip the noose over my head

7:32, 12/26/91

I jump.

When Karl Marx was on his deathbed, a maid asked for his last words. He said: “Get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t spoken enough!”

If that is so, Marx, then we are all fools. We all say something before we die, be it a complete speech or a single word.

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is on fire and you children are dead.

…

You are at a meeting with the rest of your NATO allies. You feel a part of you suffocate, and you know that He is dead.

“Do you feel it?” You ask

Everyone nods.

The Cold War’s over.