#ANYWAYS THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT HER IM SORRY I COULDNT GIVE YOU A MORE BRIEF ANSWER LOL

[charrfie]

GIVE ME THE ELLIE LORE RRAAAAAGG🫵🫵🫵

OHHH BOY OKAY WHERE DO I START WITH THIS. HEADS UP THIS IS GOING TO BE SO LONG EVEN IF IM JUST SUMMARIZING THE BASIC SET UP!!! Also the plot is pretty heavy on violence but for the sake of this ask I'll try to skirt around the details

I suppose before I start explaining the details surrounding Elle I should talk about the actual overarching story itself! It's a story of reflection, mostly. Something I put together (with my boyfriend who made the other main character in the story, Tilly!) that contains a lot of the feelings I was never able to make sense of/reconcile with as a kid. Obviously it's done in a super over-the-top kind of way but I feel like it still works pretty well for its purpose. A lot of the metaphors and plot points are actually INTENTIONALLY inflated bc I wanted to encompass any weird middle schooler's love for edge and cringe (... my love for those things haven't changed either, admittedly <3). It's about young sapphic love and finding family in friends rather than in blood, it's about how fucked up middle school is, it's about transness and identity. It's about growing up too fast. There's a lot more to be said about the themes of it but these are the most prominent I feel.

As for the plot itself, I'll only explain the opening of it or else we'll be here all day. What you need to know is: Elle is a pretty fucked up kid. Often bullied for being The Weird Girl in middle school and with a mom who doesn't really care about her (would classify it as neglectful like "you do your thing I'll do mine" rather than abusive though ig neglect is a kind of abuse), she's left to face the world on her own. And of course this leads to things like unrestricted internet access as a child (should mention it takes place roughly in 2008/2009 so this kind of stuff is in full swing), morbid curiosities not really having a reason to fade, etc. There's quite a bit that happens in between her early life and the catalyst of what sets the plot in motion, like how she loses one of her eyes and whatnot, but I'll skip that part for now considering it's a little upsetting? Anyways, one day she meets a girl named Miriam. Miriam is a sweetheart and an A+ student... as well as the first person to give Elle a second of their time. Over the following weeks, a friendship starts to bloom between them. The friendship, however, comes to a close much too soon when a very paranoid Elle fucks up and makes a split second decision that gets Miriam killed. Its completely motivated by fear and self preservation, so of course she instantly regrets it. None of the potential witnesses around her figure she had anything to do with it. She's just a little girl after all. But there's one person who saw what she did. Staring at Elle from a distance with knowing in her eyes. Tilly. And it just so happens that Tilly is also kind of a fucked up Weird Girl! Who goes to Elle's school! Of course she does. Elle heads to school over the following days expecting to be called a murderer, arrested, or killed herself after being exposed by Tilly but... this doesn't happen...? Tilly tells no one. Rather, the students at school show Elle pity, thinking she was a victim. And yet Elle feels Tilly's eyes bearing holes into the back of her head all throughout class. Elle suspects this is a threatening thing, but instead, Tilly soon expresses an interest in Elle that likely also stems from her own morbid curiosity (however Elle can't fucking stand her for quite a while). Over time the two find themselves bonding somehow! Elle finds comfort in Tilly's similar struggles to her own, finds someone who pays attention to her for once with no possibility of hurting her. Tilly finds a home in Elle that her broken family can't provide for her. It sounds very unhealthy considering the context behind their meeting but it's genuinely very helpful for both of them, and sooner or later they find themselves dating ^_^ !! This, uh..... doesn't stop them from getting into worse trouble down the line though............

I have a much longer version of this written out but this is a lot already so maybe another time? Sorry if this sounds rushed!! Its a lot of info I'm trying to stuff in here at once so a lot of the more nuanced and slow-moving topics dealt with in the story may seem a little awkwardly phrased here

Now despite literally everything I've said about Elle and Tilly, they're both big babies and I love them a lot. They're very sweet just ignore the violence okay? Here's some art of them together my bf (@nervigg) did!! Same one I used as my pfp! Girlfriends :^]

[zmayadw]

Woohoo, so after X amount of coffee, my brain cells finaly functioned, and i wrote... something(?)

I guess you can call it 'my first one shot' :P

Anyway, it sucks, but who cares, i wrote something finaly! :D

(I can always delet the post muwahahah)

I need more coffee..

Sorry to all for this, have a great day!

Hide with me?

Jake x MC

fluff / sweet / something

You straighten your dress and check yourself once more in the mirror. All good, ready to go. You take your purse, throwing your phone in before leaving the apartment. Driving to Thomas and Hannahs engagement party, you feel nervous. Jake will be there, and you really wanted to talk to him. Ever since Hannah was back, you two never discussed your feelings for eachother any more. You never wer alone long enough for it to be mentioned, and you definitely didnt want to talk to him about it over in messages. You had no clue where you two stand at, so you hoped to talk to him tonight, and finaly find out.

„MC, you finaly came!“ Hannah cheerfully ran to you, embracing you in a hug. „Hi, Hannah.“ You hug her back. „Come, everyone is here already.“ She take your hand, pulling you towards the table where everyone sat. „MC! Finaly, I tought you might not show up!“ Jessy chimes, getting up to hug you. „You know me, I'm always fashionable late.“ You tell her teasingly, releasing her from a hug. „ Come, sit next to me, I have soooo much to tell you.“ Jessy pulls you to sit down and starts talking, but your mind was wondering, your eyes looking for Jake. You found him sitting at the other end of the table. He turned his head, and your eyes met. He smiles widely at seeing you, and you smile back, before Jessys words make you turn to her. „Hellooo, are you even listening to me?“ she asks. „Ofcourse!“ you say quickly turning to her „That is very interesting, indeed.“ You tell her, hoping she wont notice you havent really paid any attention to her words. „I know, right!?“ she exclaim, and you exhale relieve that it actually worked. You glance back at Jake, but he was looking the other way, talking to Thomas. Ah, well, I will have my chance later, you think to yourself, focusing back on Jessy.

As the formal part of the evening was over, people started mingling. You finaly have your chance to go talk to Jake. You wer chatting with Dan and Thomas, when you saw him standing alone at the bar. You quickly finish the drink you have in your hand „Sorry, boys, be right back, gonna get me another drink.“ „Easy there, MC, the night is still young.“ Dan teases. You grin at him heading for the bar. „Hello there.“ Jake turns to you „MC, Hi!“ He smiles warmly at you. „Been a while since we talked.“ You smile back. „How are you?“ you ask him. „Huh, i'm better now. It's been a rough few days.“ He says sounding exhausted. You look worryingly at him „ Did something happen?“ „Yes.“ He says thoughtfully „ Hannahs engagement party happened. She was giving us all a 'tough love' regime.“ You laugh. „Hey, dont laugh.“ He says desperatly „ It was terrible. I started hiding from her at a certain point. If it was that bad now, I'm scared to even imagine how she will be with wedding planning. And I'm running out of places to hide!“ „Awww, poor you.“ You look at him with a grin „Well, you can count on me in the future. Just give me a call, I'm sure I can provide you with a good hiding place.“ He looks at you with devilish glow in his eyes „I'll keep that in mind for sure.“ You feel heat coming to your cheeks at his gaze, and he was about to say something more when Hannah shows up. „MC, I was looking for you! Come, I want you to finaly meet my parents.“ You give Jake an apologetical smile and he smiles back, dissapointed look on his face, as Hannah pulls you away.

The rest of the evening wasnt much better. The moment you tought you finaly can go look for Jake again, someone would jump at you. You felt exhausted, and just wanted a few minutes to catch a breath. So when the opportune moment came, you quickly went for the balcony. The night was warm, and a soft breez blowing was welcoming. You lean on the railing taking a deep breath, enjoying the moment of solitude. „I guess we had a same thought“. You turn arround, Jake smiling at you, standing next to te doors. You smile back „Yup. Looks like you're not the only one who needs hiding.“ You tell him coming closer to him. „It's better when you have some company.“ He grins at you. „Definitely!“ you say laughing. „You look amazing, by the way.“ He says, and even in the dark you can see his eyes glowing as he looks at you. You feel your cheeks getting warmer again. “ Thank you. You dont look bad yourself.“ And he was looking good, with black pants and white formal shirt. You tell him teasingly „I never thought I will see you wearing aynthing else then the hoodie.“ He laughs „Neither did I. So don't get use to this look of mine.“ „Too bad, it looks good on you.“ You tell him with a grin. „Huh, thanks, but i still prefere my hoodie over this any day.“ He says grinning back. As you smile, you think, ok, finaly a chance to talk to him. You take a deep breath „Jake, can I ask you something?“ He looks at you intensly „What's up?“ „I was wonder...“ but you fel silent. „MC, you there?“ Your eyes widen at the sound of Jessys voice coming from near the balcony doors. All of a sudden, Jake pulls you to him, and you let a muffled yelp at his chest not expecting it. You look up, him putting a finger to his lips signaling you to be silent, as Jessys head peeks throuhg the doors. But she couldnt see you two , so she continued on with her search. You both chuckle silently. „Gosh, can't I have five minutes to myself.“ You say to him exausted leaning your forehead to his chest. He looks at you and raise his brow „How desperat are you for that five minutes?“ You look back at him „Pretty much.“ „All right, lets get you that five minutes then.“ He smiles and you snort „And how?“ „Do you trust me?“ he asks you. „Ofcourse.“ You tell him back. „Good.“ He grins at you, and in a few swift moves, turns from you and jumps over the balcony railing. „Jake!“ you yell through your teeth terrified, quickly moving to the railing, only to see him grinning at you from below. It wasn't that long of a distance, but still. „Come on.“ He says, extending his hands towards you. „Are you insane? I'm not jumping over it.“ Jessys voice echoed from the inside once more, calling your name. Jake looks at you with a smirk „You sure about it?“ You shake your head at him. „I cant belive I'm actually gonna do this, and wearing a dress no less!“ You take your shoes off, tossing them next to him, before carefully throwing your legs over the railing. „Don't worry, MC, I'll catch you.“ he smiles at you. „You better!“ You warn him, detaching from the railing, falling safely in his hands. „Nice jump. I give it 10/10 for the landing.“ He teases. „Gee, thanks.“ You grin, moving from him to take your shoes. „What now?“ „Now you have your five minutes. It's about how long it will take us to walk slowly back to the entrance from here.“ „And how do you know that?“ you ask him, putting your shoes back on. He grins „I don't, I'm just making it up.“ You laugh shaking your head at him. „All right, I guess we can start walking back then, before Jessy sends a search party after me.“ „Sure, if thats what you want.“ You look at him inquiry „What do you mean?“ „We can go the other way. There's a little park not far from here.“ He looks at you smiling softly. „Really? And what about the party?“ you ask and curs inside instantly, when all you wanted was to say 'yes'. He looks dreamy at you „ I would rather be hiding somewhere with you then go back.“ His words leave you breathles for a moment, the sound of your heart beating faster echoes in your ears „So, what do you say, MC?“ He ask, extending his hand to

you. „Will you hide with me?“ „That sounds so much better the going back to the party.“ You say and smile warmly, taking his hand. „Great! Lets go before someone sees us.“ He grins taking your hand tight in his, pulling you to him to start walking. „You know, we will have to think of a pretty good excuse why we left the party. We can't hide forever.“ You tell him with a grin as you two quicken your pace, murmurs of the party falling more silent behind you. „Mhm, im sure we will think of something good.“ he says, and looks at you with a devilish grin, intertwining your fingers with his „ After all, we have all night for it.“

[danishmiilk]

if your moots were fanfics, what would they be? :p

ANON! i’ve been wanting to do this for the lONgest time (two days) so i’m soooo happy to have received this LMAO even though,,, this may NOT be accurate but im just gonig to do this randomly to the best of my ability

it’s very long, so more under the cut

@lebrookestore || taeyong + bookshop!au. so basically taeyong works at this bookshop and shes always going in to flip through books and such because she can’t afford to buy them and taeyong’s supposed to chase her away but just doesn’t have the heart to and one day she really just goes up and thanks him and hes like no problem and its usually quite empty so the next times she goes to said bookshop taeyong will go and sit with her to read the books and they talk and like wow they like the same shit! so then they Fall In Love wow

@hannie-dul-set || jaemin + definitely fluff. so basically her best friend (me! IM SORRY ALLEX BYE) and her best friend’s boyfriend (SICHENG! IM NOT SORRY ALLEX BYE) decided that their best friends weren’t getting like enough DATES so then they dragged them out on a double date (only for her and jaemin it was a bLIND date). it was at the dog cafe and the moment me and sicheng got there we just left them and ran away and theyd already bought like food so they decided to just stay and it was awkward for a bit but then like, jaemin was so good with dogs and hot damn. then yall exchange numbers and by the time yall get out of the cafe you see me and sicheng across the street using binoculars to spy on yall.

@seeing-dreams || chenle + def fluff, highschool!au. i feel like it’d be the secret admirer letter thing, which i think you already know what i mean? like chenle’s your crush bc (tbh he’e everyone’s) hes so hot and hes part of the basketball team and he also sits with you in bio and also at the same time you’ve been getting notes taped to the underside of your table in bio, and its like 10 or so letters before you get the last one asking you on a date (and leaving their number!! so if you want to date then call!!) and so youve alr fallen for this guy’s diction and you call the number and chenle’s phone rings. he winKS at you and youre like oH MY GOD

@floweringtheflowers || mark + YO IM SORRY BUT ISN’T YOUR WRITING ACC LIKE NEOSCULPTURES A SMUT BLOG I VAGUELY REMEMBER YOU SAYING THAT OR SUMN SO + pwp LMAO IM SORRY- and like obviously i don’t read those but like yeah take it take it away you just give me very strong pwp vibes bye

@moonlightjeno || jeno + arranged marriage!au, royalty!au, one sided etl!au. MHM SO BASICALLY YOURE A PRINCESS AND JENO IS A PRINCE AND THE KING AND QUEEN OF JENO’S COUNTRY (cough doyoung and his wife) dECIDE THAT OK TREATY so then you and jeno have to get married and like bc were such nice people we decide that okay, yall get married for oNE YEAR if really cannot then like fine,, yall can divorce. so yall just like try to tide it out for a year right but you need to fake in the eyes of the public and you hate jeno but hes just trying to make this more bearable for the two of you and one day yall have an argument and jeno goes like “I JUST REALLY wANT TO KISS YOU, OKAY?” *squeal* and youre like whatthefuck and then, like, you know what? you jsut pretend that didn’t happen but you eventually agree to just be cordial and friendly and become friends, and you know jeno’s in love with you but you try to not make it awkward and somewhere along the way you fall in love *clasps hands together with a huge sigh* deserve.

@sehunniepot || (i want to write this alr) yuta + hogwarts!au, etl!au, HOUSE RIVALRY!AU BC THOSE ARE SUPERIOR. yuta’s definitely a gryffindor so you can be a slytherin since you never tOLD me. so so anyway youve hated each other from day one because of some stupid misunderstanding of him purposely tripping you in the train and then youre sorted into slytherin and him in gryffindor and the next four years are pranks and sneers and insults and glares. then the yule ball comes up, and because the hogwarts teachers are so JUMPY you have a dancing lesson with randomly assigned partners and you get yuta and AAAA “boys, put your hand on the girl’s waist.” and youre glaring daggers but yuta does it anyway with that cocky grin and you hold hands and your hand’s on his shoulder and are his ears red, or is that just your imagination?? then yall just tease each other the entire dancing lesson and when you get back to your dorm best friend!doyoung’s all like “why was nakamoto blushing-” and you’re like “nothing.” then then YOU REALISE YOU CANT STOP THINKING OF HIS HAND ON YOUR WAIST AND DURING THE NEXT DANCE LESSON YOU NATURALLY GRAVITATE TOWARD EACH OTHER AND DOYOUNG’S LIKE ?? OKAY THEN ILL JUST GO DANCE QITH SOMEONE ELSE?? then the teachers (who know of your stupid rivalry) are like: okay then miss l/n and mr nakamoto if you’ve already paired up. OH THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER HE ASKS YOU TO THE BALL UNDER THE GUISE THAT “YOU ACTUALYL DANCE WELL” AND YOURE LIKE “YOURE NOT TOO BAD YOURSELF” but its all, ofc, a pretense and then at the ball you all (having alr realised you like each other), confess, and promptly kiss under the shining ice stalactites magically hung from the trees in the grounds of hogwarts. (OH MY GOD FUCK IM WRITING THIS)

@doyounged || doyoung + fluff, def + i think high school sweethearts!au so this is the really fluffy oneshots where like youre super shy!! like its pretyt obvious you have crushes on each other but like first relationship or wtv and you jsut brush fingers and BLUSH and put your arm around each other and BLUSH and cheek kiss and BLUSH and you get my point? yeah yeah that’s the whole au

@moonbeamsung || jisung + fluff af + best freinds to lovers!au the only thing i can think of is like cute sleepovers and the sleeptalking thing, i’ve written something like that for you i thiNK?? 

@orange-nimon-cross || cai xukun + angst. just pure angst. im not even kidding the angst is so bad oh my god- probably hurt-comfort. like xukun’s your emotional rock and hes jsut so,,, ROCK AND HES ALW THERE FOR YOU AND KAJOFSDF A HUG SOLVES ALL and something like that you get my point, yes??

@rouiyan || hyuck + uhm, ice hockey player hyuck. like i think you did one with jeno or something but like idk why does the concept suit your vibe so muCH?? this one bc hyuck is playful it’d be like you’re dragged to the matches bc jeno’s your best friend but you couldnt give a flying fuck about ice hockey and his annoying teammate (hyuck.) keeps flirting with you and like one day you ask him straight up why are you flirting with me and hyuck’s immediately apologetic like shit did it make you uncomfy ill stop and youre like hes,,, a nice guy and then yall bond over like post-match meals which jeno starts dragging yall all to and then yeah sicheng and ten (same hockey team) help hyuck plan a confession and he confesses at the pizza shop.

@radiorenjun || renjun + angst, but with a happy ending if i feel like it- oh hold on maybe not angst ill save you the heartbreak. def artist!renjun, not even going to think about it, and kind of supernatural/soulmate? like he has dreams of a mystery girl every night and that’s the inspo for all his paintings, and he tries selling them to an art gallery and youre the curator of said art gallery adn youre liek “thats so beautiful, but why is it always the back view of the girl?” and renjun looks up from his paintings to explain and he sees you and literally screams because he’s never seen the mystery girl’s face but HE KNOWS its you. it HAS to be. so the two of you try figuring out the stupid phenomenon and who knows, maybe it’s just fate’s way of letting the two of you come together! yall become a thing YAY

--- once again, thank you anon for this ask! i really enjoyed doing this and like you know what?? i may write some of these aus someday. definitely the yuta one. someday.

[mistymark]

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule 

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!! 

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’ 

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow 

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

like

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

[unclejuho]

sf9 in london event + concert experience ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

this is my 5k essay on what happened 190512 // enjoy reading!!!

so i got to the venue at 11pm the night before bc i was so stressed by the other concerts (ppl at la started lining up at 6pm??) i really wanted to be near the front since im coming all way from the netherlands anyways i better go big or go home!!!! so like i waited there for an hour amongst other fans who were still waiting from a diff concert and when they left other fantasy arrived so we started queueing up. i rlly have to thank sf9 uk casue they were so nice to me and they kept letting me use their hotel next door to let me go to the bathroom and change ♥️

i ended up getting nr1 (or nr21 ig isbdhs) so!!!! we did it LMAO succesfully got a good spot even though my feet and butt were dead by the time anything even happened,, its so hard to wait for 16+ hours to go to a concert but its sf9 so who cares about health 🤡 we didnt get knifed and a lot of ppl came up to ask who the fuck we were waiting for hdbshsh it was so funny

so i started handing out my juho stuff ofc and ppl seemed to like it!!! so im glad haha eventually even i didnt have any anymore so i was happy ppl liked it!

skip to like 1pm which is when the members arrived at the venue, i was a lil late noticing cus i was waiting for those signed narcissus albums but i ran to the front anyways n saw youngbin chani tae leave the van (like what they posted in the travel preview) so that was!!!!! jdbdbsb they were so unbothered it was so cute so i went to get my albums and came back to line (i got all hwiyoung pcs oshshah) 

also there were so many other fans handing out fanmades it was so sweet the entire atmosphere was fantastic bc everyone was nice to eachother, rlly everyone i talked to was super sweet!!! also so many fansites with slogans or fans so i went broke once more but it was all worth it theyre so pretty...

at like 4.30 was the special event which lmao i rlly was so tired and i got sooo nervous i had my already signed fanfare from mwave bc if ure gonna sign any album it should be fanfare (looking at ALL the ppl that gave them narcissus) sooo us 20 were led upstairs to some sort of bar area and they had a long table w water bottles so we had to wait a lil while the staff checked our signed items if they were ok and then we had to form a line to wait (they were late) i met another dutchie so that was nice hdhshsh

finally the members walk out and im shaking bc baek ju is the first to enter the room!!! he was wearing that leopard sweater and i didnt even hate his mullet seeing it upclose...

jae was wearing that stupid unbottoned shirt skbssbsb and he came in giving ALL the fanservice like him and inseong were here for the entire thing osbdbsb the other members just sat down and sociaized with eachother like yb kept being adorable and pulling faces at the table it was everything and i couldnt see rowoon bc ppl were standing in front of him but i was!!!! shaking already bc whos idea was it to start off this event with fucking rowoon lmao is like immediate heart attack! ju was last which was oof...

so i had like ideas of what i wanted to talk abt w each members but lmao??? i didnt talk abt any of it to any member my mind was so shook...

first up was rowoon and he just hdhshsh???? the eye contact of this man and just seeing him upclose was so intense tf he rlly was.. so gorgeous n bc of his hair up his eyes looked even bigger n shimmered and the pics rlly dont do him justice... so the first thing i said was wow so handsome bc why not.. i was gagged indeed hdbdbsb he said like woooow our debut album and you already have it signed oabdbs i didnt explain the entire mwave thing bc wud he understand haha but he opened n he saw the pic of himself hes like what do u like better me now or me here??? me being myself im like fanfare bc ur hair down is so cute oahdhshs i rlly not a narcissus hag anyways but fanfare was best rowoon as always... so rowoon did his sign and i asked him to do sky castle impersonation he didnt understand so i just repeated sky castle he was like ah the voice thing im like yes cha minhyuk isbdbsh so he did the fucking thing and i was dying lmao great to have seen it in the flesh ofc...

after rowoon was taeyang and taeyang!!!! was so hyper and attentive like hdnsb whenever u see him in vids hes usually very casual but he was soooo sweet and he too was like ahhh fanfare he took a while to say but he said his heart was still in there hdhdhsh so i was 🤧🤧 i just asked tae if he was doing okay or if he wasnt feeling tired and he said he was doing great bc i was there im like dying hdhshsh so i said yah me too!!!! 

jae was after taeyang n jae was jdhshshs soooo into it i know korean fans say ppl change biases to jae after meeting him and i have to say i can see why!!! i didnt rlly know what to say to jae beforehand but he said oooo i really love london and im like haha i dont like it here im like im from the netherlands so he was shocked he said thank you for coming to travel here and he held my hand isbdbsbsb

next was inseong and... the eye contact level was sooo severe he rlly threw all into it hes like hi thank you for coming so much so i was wearing this shirt w a 🥩 on it and im like inseong do u like my shirt bc i know u love meat iahdhahsh so he was laughing n said yea wow this is my favorite shirt oshdhshs rlly had me going LOL he asked if it was my first time seeing them im like yea but im going to korea in the summer tho oshdhshs he said that was great n asked how long i was staying for,,, so im like im going a month so he asked why i was going so long im like im going for u!!! hdbshsb he gave me some hearts and i moved on ndhsbsab

so chani was next up and he looked so shy,,,, im sad bc i forgot to say everything i wanted to say to him at the beginning and i was just like chaniiiiiii and he laughed and signed my album before i went i quickly pushed in a URE MY FAVE DANCER n he highfived me hdhsbs

so youngbin was next and i... lmao... i was weak haha he just read my name hes like hiiiii gia im here being depressed saying HI YOUNGBIN I LOVE U SM thank u sm for everything u do for us and i shit u not my eyes like tearing up oshdbsbs yb asking me how im feeling im like YEA GREAT tears in my eyes oabdbs i rly couldnt speak otherwise id actually have them roll down my face so i just nodded and moved on iabsbs

hwiyoung im so sorry... i was still emo from yb and i even forgot to say happy birthday like pls hit me... hwi cheered for the fanfare album and im like yess hwi i love ur hair here i love the blonde;; hwi thanked me for coming 

next up was dawon and jdbsbs i came in saying hi fantasy president so he said yeeee fantasyyyyy and hes an unbothered legend oabbdhssbn he signed quickly and within a minute i was away again jdhdhs

so juho.. my god oshdhshwh hes so:((( pretty let me breathe liek... i came there im like juho i love u oahdhshsh hes just nodding his way going to sign my album and he drawing that heart stickman so im like i have a question can u draw— hes like this is my signature drawing LUCKILY i drew the jucasso next to my name so im like pointing at it being like lmao boy we dont want this heart flop bdhdhsh so he quickly drew it and i said i hope u feel better soon and i was off again,,, rlly dawon and juhos signing went so quick...

so we moved on to the pictures and they were grabbing the chairs and ju was standing all way back at first but then no members went to sit on the chairs oahdhs so JUHO THE MAN WENT FOR THE SEAT NEXT TO THE MIDDLE HDHSHSH and hwi on the other side and jae behind so im blessed like juho... he rlly did it... hdhshsh i quickly go to grab one of my banners bc im like bitch i gotta fucking rep for it now otherwise i wudnt know a pose anyways oahdhshs so i quickly took off my glasses as well

so its my turn im going up and sitting down and like handing this banner to ju and hes like ???? oh???? he quickly reads it n was impressed hdbsb so there was one pic and tae was sitting next to ju and wanted to read what was on the banner so he turned to us but then we had to take another pic so he had to turn back quickly again oahdhshsh and then i had to go again but as i walked away ju was explaining to the members what was on my banner so i :(((( 

after everyones picture was taken they said goodbye and waved and inseong stayed behind a lil to joke abt drinking beer (i rlly hate him but also me?) and then they left and we got our merch bags n went back downstairs

so i quickly ran over to my bestie to tell her abt it before realizing we had to line up to go inside for the concert so i was like stressed running away i rlly almost lost my first spot LOL but we were let inside the venue i had like 50 bags but i ran to the front and BLESS IT there was like tiny space left at the left side which is were i wanted to be bc juwoon!!!!!! so i rly did get barrier thank god i could put down all my bags as well and the fantasy next to me were great as well!!!!

// i’ll add the concert later as im tired rn and this is already 5k osjbhdbhjas

[winterune]

A Natsume Yuujinchou Fanfiction #10 - Because I Love You

Word count: 2778

Summary: Natsume received a chocolate from a girl outside his class, much to his surprise, because he didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day. 

A/N: something I thought about on a whim because I realized I have never written a Valentine’s Day Natsume fic before. It’s been soooo long since I wrote any fic--or written anything for that matter--so I’m sorry if this turns out weird. Not edited or beta’d. Probably going to post a final version later on AO3 or FFN. Also, I wrote this for @epona999 as a late birthday present^^. Hope you’ll like it! And thanks for reading :)

“Natsume-kun!”

Takashi Natsume was walking down the corridor heading back to class in the short break between lessons when a voice called out to him. It was a girl, standing several feet behind him, with long brown hair that draped over her shoulders.

“Yes?” he asked, turning around to directly face her. He had never seen her before.

“U—Umm…” Her eyes flitted in and out of his face, hands hidden behind her back. “It’s just—umm—something I made in cooking class so uh…”

Natsume cocked his head to the side. “Can I help you?”

The girl seemed to shut her eyes and in one smooth motion, shoved something toward his chest, yelling, “This is for you!” before running off and turning around the corner. She was gone in an instant, leaving Natsume blinking in confusion with a small brown bag in his hand.

He held it up and scrutinized the bag with a frown. Cooking class?

Soft snickers around him made him realize he had spectators and dipping his head self-consciously, Natsume made his way quickly back to class.

His classmates’ buzz of conversation reached him before he opened the door. Nishimura, who was sitting by his table, looked up and noticed the bag he was carrying. His eyes widened in surprise.

“What’s that?!” he exclaimed, pointing a finger to the brown bag.

Natsume shrugged. “A girl gave it to me outside.”

“A girl? Seriously?!” His mouth hung open in disbelief.

Natsume frowned at Nishimura’s sudden enthusiasm and eyed the bag suspiciously.

“Let me see that,” Nishimura went on, and without waiting for Natsume’s reply, he’d snatched the bag away. “Cookies,” he commented. He sniffed at it. “And it smells delicious too.”

“She did say she made it in cooking class—”

“Cooking class!” Nishimura exclaimed dramatically. All of a sudden, it was as if all those enthusiastic energy left him and Nishimura deflated on the table beside Natsume’s, head falling on the desk top, his arms hanging limp on his sides. “Ahh I want one.”

Natsume looked at his friend incredulously. What was so good about these cookies? You could buy cookies from the store if you want one.

“You could have them if you want,” he offered.

“Nope. She gave them to you so it’s yours,” his friend said, adamantly handing the brown bag to Natsume.

Still feeling unsure what Nishimura was whining about, Natsume took the bag back, when he heard Kitamoto, who had been silent throughout the exchange, chuckling.

“They’re Valentine Day cookies, Natsume,” Kitamoto explained. “Nishimura’s been nagging since morning that he hasn’t received one.”

“I keep dreaming Taki would come through that door and give me a home-baked chocolate,” Nishimura said.

Valentine’s.

Natsume didn’t realize it was Valentine’s. Ah, now it made sense why the girl seemed fidgety then. But why would she give him one?

Well, at least he understood now why Nishimura seemed somewhat depressed since morning, and seeing his friend now being consoled by Kitamoto, it brought a smile to his face.

***

“Well, that’s a pretty boy to you,” Nishimura grumbled when classes for the day was over and they were gathering their books and things to head home.

Throughout the day, a couple of other girls had approached Natsume—once in class, the other was when the three of them were heading to their lunch spot on the roof—to give him yet another Valentine’s chocolate. Someone had even snuck in and slipped a chocolate box in his desk drawer when he wasn’t in class, so he had a total of four chocolates by the end of the day—five if you include the one from Sasada’s.

Kitamoto and Nishimura had received only one, and that was from Sasada. Kitamoto had accepted it but Nishimura had gotten into a fight over it, saying a chocolate from Sasada didn’t mean anything. Sasada had been tempted to take it back, but Nishimura had immediately apologized since “it’s better than coming home empty-handed”.

Natsume never liked that nickname but he could only smile wryly at it. There was nothing he could do anyway, no reason he could give, not that they were asking for any…probably. Well, what could he say? He certainly didn’t predict this happening.

When they met Tanuma by the front door, just about to slip off his indoor shoes for his outdoor ones, they noticed he was carrying a small plastic bag that no doubt contained the chocolates he’d received that day.

“Damn you pretty boys,” Nishimura muttered under his breath.

Like Natsume, Tanuma could only chuckle to that.

“How many did you get?” Kitamoto asked.

Glancing at the pouting Nishimura slipping on his outdoor shoes, he murmured, “Five. Sasada just gave me one.”

“Same as him, then,” Kitamoto replied.

Tanuma’s eyes shifted to Natsume, though he didn’t look at all surprised. “I’d thought as much.”

“Right?” Kitamoto went on, a grin now plastered from ear to ear. “Despite his quiet demeanor, he’s surprisingly popular with girls.”

“Maybe I should start having a quiet demeanor,” Nishimura piped in.

“Oh, shut it, Nishimura. You still haven’t received one from Taki yet.”

“There’s no guarantee she’s going to give me one.”

“Wait, she hasn’t?” Tanuma asked, genuinely surprised as his hand started rummaging inside his plastic bag. “I’m sure she has one for each of you. I mean, I got one from her—”

“Ah! There you are!”

Before Tanuma could finish speaking, he was interrupted by a voice. They simultaneously looked behind them and there stood Taki, somewhat out of breath, her bag slung over her shoulder had its zipper half opened.

“Good thing I hadn’t missed you,” she said, determinedly walking toward them with a hand fishing inside her bag for what turned out to be a small cute bag filled with cookies. “Here,”—she gave one to Natsume, then to Nishimura, and last to Kitamoto.

A huge sigh escaped her lips. “Sorry, I had stuffs to do all day. It was just because I passed by Tanuma-kun that I remembered to give him the chocolate. Good thing you hadn’t left just now.” Smiling from ear to ear, her hair slightly disheveled from the running she must had done from the upper floor, she said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, guys!”

Natsume and Kitamoto thanked her with grins of their own while Nishimura outright cried. They were left glancing at each other in half smiles as Kitamoto patted Nishimura’s shoulder.

***

“What’s that, Takashi-kun?” Touko-san asked the moment Natsume opened the door and called, “I’m home.” She’d peeked her head from the kitchen doorway and noticed the small bag he’d received from Taki. Feeling embarrassed and self-conscious all at once, Natsume had hidden the chocolates he’d received in his bag. But Taki’s was a last addition and his bag couldn’t take in another chocolate—if he didn’t want it crushed, which he didn’t, since it was what Taki had made herself. So he decided to carry it. When he entered the house, he’d made sure to hide it from view so Touko-san wouldn’t see it, but that plan obviously failed.

“They’re chocolates,” Natsume replied sheepishly. “From a friend.”

“Ah!” Touko-san exclaimed after a moment’s pause, so sudden that it almost made Natsume jump. “It’s Valentine’s, isn’t it? Ah, how that brings back memories. I used to give Shigeru-san chocolates too back then.” A warm smile graced her lips as her eyes looked on some distant memory. “Maybe I’ll make something special for tonight’s dinner. Ooh, how exciting! I haven’t felt this energetic for a while.” Her eyes meeting Natsume, she grinned and said, “Want to help, Takashi-kun?”

Natsume blinked and could only stammer, “Oh, okay,” before his mind could process what Touko-san just said.

Touko beamed from ear to ear. “This’ll be fun! Shigeru-san will be so surprised,” she said gleefully, getting back inside the kitchen. “Put your bag down and don’t forget to wash your hands first, right, Takashi-kun?”

***

“What’s all the ruckus down there?” was Sensei’s way of greeting when Natsume opened the door to his room.

“I’m home, Sensei,” Natsume greeted him back. “It’s rare to see you here so early in the afternoon.”

Sensei ignored the comment, then his eyes spotted the pink bag Natsume was placing on his desk. Eyes wide, ears perked, he took a sniff—it smelled like food. “What’s that?” he asked, sauntering over to Natsume’s desk.

“Cookies,” Natsume replied. “Taki made them.”

At the mention of her name, however, Nyanko-sensei stopped on his tracks, his nose scrunching in disgust. “Taki?” he asked incredulously. “Can that girl even cook?”

“Don’t be like that, Sensei,” Natsume said with a chuckle. He opened the bag and saw star-shaped chocolate cookies inside. He fished one and looked at it carefully. “I’m sure it’s edible.” He took a bite of the cookie, tasting it for a while. The chocolate melt in his mouth, the flavor spreading and coating his tongue, before he gulped it down then tossed the rest of the cookie inside.

“It’s good,” he commented.

“Surprisingly,” added Sensei.

“Want some?” Natsume held a cookie out to the cat, but Nyanko-sensei was looking at it as though he was looking at something out of this world.

“I’d rather have this,” he said, as he rummaged inside Natsume’s bag and held out a box one of the girls had given Natsume. He sniffed at it, and Natsume had to wonder if he could even smell something through the box and wrapping. But apparently he could, since his eyes seemed to gleam so bright when he looked at Natsume and said, “This is from that shop, right? The one you always pass by to and from school?”

Well, Natsume had to say he was impressed. Give it to Nyanko-sensei to be able to spot something so random. There were quite a few stores that sold chocolates at this time of the year. How did he even know which shop this particular box was from?

“You’re going to get fatter, you know, Sensei, and then I have to take you out for a walk again,” Natsume teased even as he took the box from Sensei and began unwrapping it.

“Oh shut up and hurry up and open the box!”

Natsume snickered at his response.

The box had a variety of colorful chocolates in various shapes: hearts, stars, flowers, leaves, or plain simple circles. Without further ado, Nyanko-sensei took one of them and plopped it into his mouth. The instant the chocolate made contact with his tongue, a smile bloomed on his face, eyes shut in bliss.

“You should buy more of this chocolate stuff, Natsume,” Nyanko-sensei said after tossing the third chocolate into his mouth.

“You know chocolate isn’t good for a cat, right?”

“Well, I’m not a cat.”

“All the more so. Isn’t it weird for a great youkai to be so giddy over a little chocolate?”

“Shut it!”

He was eating the fifth one when Natsume snatched the box away. “Don’t eat it all, Sensei! I’m going to save some for Touko-san and Shigeru-san.”

“What’s the problem? You have more than enough for them even if you give me that box.” Sensei made his point more apparent by grabbing the rest of the chocolates from Natsume’s bag and dropping them down on the table. “See? You have—what—six in total?” he said, counting the wrapped boxes and the two bags of cookies. “You can have Taki’s. I’ll have this box. And you’ll still have four more.”

“That’s not the issue here,” Natsume replied with a sigh. “Anyway, no! You’re not having any more before I give some to Shigeru-san and Touko-san, all right?”

Before Nyanko-sensei could protest or snatched any of the boxes for himself, Natsume moved fast and grabbed all the chocolate boxes and bags. Nyanko-sensei scowled and clicked his tongue in irritation.

“Why do you have so many chocolates in the first place?” he asked.

“I guess it’s Valentine’s Day. Girls give chocolates to boys.”

Nyanko-sensei stared at him. “Why?”

Why?

Natsume pondered that question and couldn’t really come to an answer. Though he’d seen his classmates getting rather excited for Valentine’s Day before—like how Nishimura was that day—Natsume himself never really cared about it. None of the families he’d lived before had ever done anything special. In fact, it was the first time he’s ever received a chocolate from anyone.

“I heard it’s the day girls give chocolates to the boys they like,” Natsume responded rather hesitatingly.

Nyanko-sensei’s eyes flitted from the pile of chocolates on Natsume’s arms to his face, then his lips spread into a wide smirk. “Does that mean all those girls like you then?”

It took a moment, two moments, then three, before the statement was rooted into his mind, and he realized then why that girl had been so nervous when she gave him the chocolate. He couldn’t stop the heat from reaching his face.

“W—What are you talking about? Of course not!”

Nyanko-sensei snickered. “You’re blushing.”

“There is what you call friendship chocolate too, Sensei,” Natsume tried not to let Sensei’s words rattle him so much.

“And that is Taki’s chocolate. I believe you have Sasada’s too, right? The others—”

“Anyway!” Natsume cut him off. He wouldn’t let Nyanko-sensei finish that thought. “I don’t know much about it, okay? And Touko-san is waiting for me downstairs to help her with dinner.”

“Even Touko-san,” Natsume heard Nyanko-sensei said absently after a pause as he left his room behind in a hurry. “Sometimes I really don’t understand this holidays you humans have.”

***

Touko-san was already busy with a soup and some side dishes when Natsume entered the kitchen.

“Is that you, Takashi-kun?” she asked without looking from chopping up vegetables. “Can you help me stir the soup over there, please?”

“Okay,” Natsume responded. He put all the chocolates he’d carried on the dining table before heading over the stove. It was then Touko-san looked up with a smile, as if she was about to say something, when she spotted the pile of chocolates on the table.

“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise.

Natsume noticed the direction of her gaze and, reminded of Nyanko-sensei’s remark, heat immediately rushed to his face again.

“It’s not what you think, Touko-san!” he said quickly. “I received some chocolates and I only wanted to share them with you and Shigeru-san and—”

But Touko-san, who met his gaze, only had a warm smile that touched her eyes.

“What?” she asked, a slight giggle escaping her lips. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” She turned her attention back to the vegetables she was prepping for dinner. “I’m just happy to see you so loved.”

“What?” Natsume turned his head toward Touko-san, surprised at her words.

“Didn’t you know?” she asked. “Valentine’s Day is a day when women show her appreciation and love toward the men in her life. Of course, you can express your love on any other day, but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it? That someone takes their time to buy you or make you something on a special day. Doesn’t that make you feel you’re special to them? That you mean something to someone? Oh, and it goes without saying, too, that this special dinner is not just for Shigeru-san, but for you too, Takashi-kun.”

“For…me?”

Touko-san met his gaze and she nodded, her smile so warm that Natsume felt something squeezing his heart. He could almost hear it—the words unsaid.

Because I love you.

He didn’t know when he had started crying, but he felt the tears in his eyes and tried so hard to hold them back.

Of course he knew that. He knew how kind the Fujiwara couple were to him. Some part of him knew they loved him. It had taken a while for him to see that, but he knew it, though none of them ever explicitly expressed it. From their actions and the way they treated him, he’d learned how much the Fujiwaras cared about him.

His throat felt constricted as he tried to fight back the tears. He couldn’t form any words even as Touko-san gently wiped a tear that had silently slipped through his eyes, rolling down his cheek.

With a last gentle pat, Touko-san then said determinedly, “Let’s finish this quickly before Shigeru-san comes home. It wouldn’t be a surprise now, would it, if he saw us preparing this?”

She got back to chopping the vegetables and Natsume could do nothing but smile at this woman he called his foster mother, the warmth of her hand still lingered on his face.

“Okay,” he said quietly and went back to stirring the soup that already smelled quite delicious.

~ END ~

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it^^

More of my Natsume Yuujinchou fanfiction here. 

[missnothingquotes]

Awww thanks! my dog was old and keep living would’ve been too painful for him so we had to do it (so died isn’t really the right word but anyway) I don’t know.. I was kinda numb and I’m still not feeling very much about it (except feeling bad about not feeling bad) (I have to cut it, it’s too much text, I’ll split it, so brace yourself there’ll be much too read if you’re interested in it :’D

I got a lot of ask but because i related so much to yours i had to asnwer it first. so go ahead. My dog was 14 yrs old (thats rlly old for her breed). She was sooo sick. she was just ready to go. sick, fragile, didnt want to eat. i think she wanted to die. because my dad found her sometimes in the garden in the morning, in the cold. I slept on the couch to take care of her (she drank too much because of liver problems so i had to give her something to drink every hour, so i woke up every hour to gave her water). we had to euthanise her. We tried everthing. but there was nothing left anymore. I still dream about her surviving the injection. its terrible. but when you love your dog so much, it is so hard to let her go, especially when you make an appointment to euthanise her. I couldnt get over the thought of just ‘killing’ her. even though she was suffering. its a fucked up thing. so i get it. some people are really easy with euthanizing a pet. but i was soooo close to her.. i just couldnt. its terrible.. i think it was the worst experience ever. the vet coming to our place. she was on the couch. i was holding her. kissing her. and she just took her last breath. the vet took her away and it left me crying and hyperventilating. it was terrible. i went to the place where the cremate d her, just to say goodbye. its terrible. sorry for the long respons. bnut its something that is rlly close to me and im still not over it. even though i got a new 10yr old dog from the shelter. 

[calmcoolcollect]

w(r)ong one?

‘Maktub’ she said. ‘it is written. ‘If i really am part of your dream, youll come back one day.’

So ive started reading the alchemist again just coz there was so much in it that i could relate to with my old relationship. ‘If i really am part of your dream youll come back one day’ when I first read that i thought it was the idea that things will go back to exactly how they once were, her and i sitting in eachothers cars laughing, chatting and kissing the night away listening to chris brown the good ol days, but recently after meeting up with and realising that shes moving on and seeing someone i realised that this quote has a whole nother side to it, you can be a part of someones dream still but just play a different role i dunno if that even makes sense or what im is a load of wank im waffling tryna make sense in my head with all these feelings.

after seeing her the other day i realised how much i actually missed her company, she was first ever person id fully opened up too, trust me i was a hard nut to crack and she cracked me right open. I thank her for that she taught me alot about myself. theres still this sense of vulnerability i feel around her and a sense of safety, one of the things she said was ‘i never thought id feel content around anyone but with you i did and still do’. That spoke volumes to me and its something i know ill sit and comtemplate for days to come.

I still have feelings for her i havent told her because i cant. just no. i havent told anyone because ive been trying to convince myself that i dont and i know i know its been 4 months and weve probably seen eachother about 5 times in that space of time. She was my first love and first for everything (who am i). Sitting with her the otherday i couldnt help just stare and fall in love again with the way shed nervously look down at floor after saying something or how she does this weird bounce when she walks its hilarious i dont even know if she knows she does it or her slightly weird love of ketchup with every meal and how she would go to great lengths to check if the food im about to eat contains nuts like jesus my family dont even do that and even just how she knows how im feeling and her nose! jesus christ her nose maaaaannnnnnnnnnn. i knew i would aswell david said just look at thos things and appreciate them but dont get caught in them and what do i do, get caught.

‘We are one.’ was the phrase we used to say to eachother all the time because wed always agreed on more or less every topic, music, fashion, politcs, life everything. dont really know where im going with this one so imma gonna fade it out. fading...fadi..fad..fa.f.

but im still trying to turn romantic love into a mutual love as a friend where i can be happy and her for what shes accomplshing and trust me i am shes gonna do great things i pray for her always, but there were times i just wanted to tell her ‘Sam I love you still’ and just kiss her. i know that probably sounds soooo weird and creepy but its true but knowing youre no good for someone and you dont want to put them thorugh that pain again of letting them down and constanlty feeling sorry for yourslef becsue you cant give them what they deserve. i couldnt tell her. i couldnt. im no good for her.

Stevie asked me the other day is there anyway it could work out between us 2 and literally the answer is no.its shit beyond shit its a cruel world out there crease or cry.

i dont know theres still this part of me thats like maybe there still maybe a chance in the future maybe we could work it out somehow, some where with some miracle!! im such a fucking loser sometimes why am i the emotional child of the family (trust man cried when lord of the rings ended when gandalf and frodo rode off on the boat the white shores, why my nigga frodo gotta leave his homeboy samwise gamgee like that man, shit aint fair man, man travelled with you all that way for you to say safee im gon on dis boat. PEACE. na man).

whatever is written for us will come, until then b take time.

i got you